#dont worry about rambling i like discussing this!!

[puhpandas]

Just sorta been thinking, why didn’t the Mimic just control Cassie, if it’s the one who controlled/possessed/whatever Gregory and Vanessa? Clearly it’s capable of it.

Luring her there I get, it didn’t have anything to control her yet. But once she got the VANNI mask and the chip? It could screw with Helpi no problem - and Helpi literally talked to her without the mask. So why not just.. possess her? I mean, it didn’t look like a slow process in VR, and that was just after recovering from being fractured code. It’s whole now, isn’t it? Hell, Cassie trusted it - she thought it was Gregory.

The only reason I can think of is that maybe beating Princess Quest weakened it? But that just freed Vanessa. And nothing about MXES was supposed to keep it weak, as far as I remember. Just keep it trapped and prevent people from freeing it.

Or maybe we’re dealing with two different beasts? Maybe Glitchtrap(or Burntrap) and the Mimic are different. People hate when I propose that idea tho lol.

But I mean.. the Burntrap ending he acts SO different than the Mimic ever does. He doesn’t talk. He’s got the purple motif, and I’m pretty sure when he’s trying to seize control of Freddy through the screens Freddy’s eyes even glow purple.

I dunno lol. Sorry for rambling in your inbox. My point was to ask your thoughts on.. all this I guess. Mostly the Cassie thing though.

i think that the virus has been completely destroyed, including glitchtrap. i think somehow by completing princess quest (ggy or not, it would have either been the only cabinet infused with the virus or the last surviving one) gregory completely snuffed out the virus. it doesnt exist anymore.

i might explain why the mimic didnt just immediately taje cassie over, since it literally cant. which also works if you consider the idea that the mimic will be manipulating Cassie the old fashioned way to get her to do its bidding. if the mimic fabricated gregorys betrayal, maybe cassie will be vulnerable enough for it to take advantage of free will wise

and as for the purple motif thing, i personally think that the color purple only applies when the mimic is still acting as afton, which was its entire time as glitchtrap. after gregory destroyed glitchtrap and therefore the mimics current identity at the end of sb, now all it is is itself. and its color is red/orange so that applies to the things it controls (helpi, its own eyes, vanny, maybe the camera in the elevator)

[redeemed-wren]

I'm hoping episode 3 let's Ruby see the dark side of the Doctor. I feel that adds a very important dynamic to a Doctor-companion relationship, when they see how dark he can be and still choose to travel with him early on.

Rose watching Nine drag Cassandra back to die. Eleven yelling at Amy "Nobody human has anything to say to me today!" Donna begging Ten to stop drowning the spider babies, and then again to go back and save someone in Pompeii.

Fifteen has been FUN and I know he can do emotional range, I've seen his fear and his tears already. But I want to see him dark, and I want to see Ruby respond to that. I think it would add a LOT of depth to their relationship and is something missing.

Plus showcasing the Doctor's flaws (selfishness) will make him a much more interesting character. I want to see some conflict between the Doctor and Ruby.

[wackywatchdotcom]

btw i think for tadc discussion posts where i ramble abt the show (be it analysis or meta stuff or just me thinking abt it) im just gonna start using the tag Circus Discussion... i was thinking of that tag for a while and it still feels too silly but also its the only one i can think of that isnt SUPER silly. plus its vague enough so i can use it for a wider variety of posts (cus some things i dont think anything like 'analysis' or 'meta' would actually fit, cus its not alwaays really either of those, so i think discussion is more broadly applicable). im gonna work on tagging posts w this cus i have a bit to sort thru :] (this blog has 654 posts and will have 655 when i post this)

[echeydraws]

Nobody ever warns you that at the end of a two year long campaign you'll literally start to feel sick to your stomach at the thought of leaving that world behind. You will of course miss the group irl but nobody warned you that the characters would start to feel like old close friends and that the thought of never seeing them again and not knowing what's going to happen to them would be heartbreaking and enough to make you teary. These incredibly important people that don't even exist and you only carry with you in your heart. I'm about to cry

[vind3miat0r]

new audio ramble (yap below the cut) (this is not organized just my pure unfiltered thoughts)

god this audio just ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it because OWWWW OW OW OWWWW

i love flawed and complicated relationships actually, and im living for the fact that theyre both in the wrong here. Treasure shouldnt have pushed the issue, and Porter shouldnt have been so passive aggressive about the whole thing, especially how he seemed to specifically say things in order to make Treasure feel worse when, ultimately, they were just wanting to help (but went about it the worst way possible)

i find it so interesting that Porter Solaire, the man who directly asked Treasure if they wanted to take their relationship further, completely shuts down their attempts at getting to know him better/understanding him. this isnt dragging on him, its just something i find interesting (its also making me hold my head in my hands like PORTERRR PLEASEEEE YOU HAVE TO TRUST THEMMMM)

pulling from a discussion me and my friends are having, one of my friends pointed out that Porter may resent Treasure. not resent in a hateful way, but resent the fact that they dont have to worry about holding an entire vampire house on their shoulders. he did specifically bring that up, that theyre human, that they wouldnt understand, that the only things they have to worry about are mundane compared to what hes going through

but whatever Treasure is going through isnt mundane or simple or anything of the like

shoutout to this person specifically for saying what i was thinking. looking back at the way they acted in Porter's very first audio; "Leaving their friends at the bar indicates that they weren’t great friends to begin with. Immediately believing a stranger when he says he’s a vampire, allowing him to lure you into the woods" as said by my friend

and Porter directly says this too!! "Tell me, have you ever taken more than a moment to think of the chain of events that has led to us standing here in this room together? The kind of internal tumult that has led you here into the arms of a total stranger, inconceivably vast power imbalance and all?"

and again, the laundry comment really makes me think that Treasure's life isnt much better than Porter's. i mean, sure, they arent out risking their life and killing old bloods, but its clear that they struggle with depression and/or loneliness

their separate lives shouldnt even be a comparison in the first place. its just like Angel after the Inversion, where they thought that David had it worse, that their pain wasnt as bad and didnt need attention. pain isnt a competition, and the way you live your life isnt either

shoutout to this person for also saying what i was thinking!! i dont have much to add since anything i would want to say has pretty much already been said lol

in the end, theyre both in the wrong, and that is a real depiction of a relationship and even if it hurts you cant say its not good

[jubiilee13]

JOSH HUTCHERSON. I do badly wanna make a request for Josh from the forger but I must show restraint

Anyways Mike asking you to officially be his gf?

JOSH HUTCHERSON JOSH HUTCHERSON AOQWEIIOWEIOOIAWEFIOFWAEWGAGEHRGAHREW

my husband

anyways here u go pooksters

warnings: female pronouns, fluff, reader has a nightmare, smooching just a lil

I didn’t check spelling on this so if it’s horrible I’m so sorry 😭

--

mikes job was not an easy one.

neither was managing a younger sister.

but thats where you came in.

you and mike had known one another since high school, though you two hadn’t been the closest pair at the time. gentle smiles in the halls and small hellos were about all that went on in your mind.

but not for sweet old mike.

he adored you, every second he got to be in your presence was like heaven.

looking back on it he wasn't sure how you hadn't noticed his longing stares, the blush coating his cheeks, the way he fumbled over his words.

he was in love with you, that was clear to everyone but you.

so when the end of high school rolled around, the two of you fell out of touch.

he was sad, yes, but he had abby to worry about, and some cute girl couldn't get in his way.

so for the next few years nothing happened between the two of you, and he just assumed you had moved away to some far away place. eventually the amount thoughts of you in his mind began to dwindle down, until you only crossed his mind at most 2 times a year.

that was until a few months ago that is...

long story short mike had posted a few flyers about needing a baby sitter for abby, and low and behold someone sent him a message and sweetly said they'd love to meet up with him over coffee to discuss more details.

so thats exactly what happened, mike put on his most formal clothes (which wasnt really much) and began his journey to the coffee shop. He anxiously wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, silently cursing himself for his nervous habits. before he knew it the coffee shop was just ahead, and as he stepped inside it was like his heart stopped beating.

it was you.

He tried to hide his smile but you could read that man like an open book.

The two of you talked for several hours, about the job, about life, about everything.

you could've kept going even, if it werent for mike having to pick up abby from school.

so you bid your farewells and mike informed you that you could start watching abby the following day.

as mike worked each night, you stayed with abby, doing everything with her, and she loved it.

every day she would gush to mike about you, talking about the adventures and fun times the two of you had shared.

mike listened every time as well, and every time he did so he couldnt help but note how his feelings for you began to return.

after all, you were so sweet, so gentle, so... loving.

how could he help it?

every morning after his shift he would come home to find leftovers on the counter, alongside a small handwritten note from you, each time saying something ever so sweet.

on top of that he would also find you dozing on the couch, and every time he saw you sleeping so peacefully he would just admire you for a few moments, always opting to cover you with his jacket or a blanket before he sent himself off to bed as well.

so that brings us to tonight.

mike walks through the door with a yawn, rubbing his eyes sleepily as he places his vest on the coat rack, dragging himself into the kitchen as he picks up your sweet note.

"abby insisted on pizza and spaghetti tonight so take your pick sugar, i hope work was well, i hope you dont mind but i forgot a change of clothes tonight and abby grabbed a pair of your boxers and an old sweatshirt of yours, i just threw it on for tonight, i promise ill get it back to you clean asap! lots of love, - y/n" the note read.

mike cant help but chuckle at your rambling, and he picks up the plate full of pizza and he reaches out to open the microwave but stops in his tracks when he hears something.

something so faint he wasnt even sure he had really heard it.

then it happened again, louder now and mikes blood ran cold.

it was you, your cries.

mike rushes into the living room, and his body visibly relaxes when he finds you still deep in slumber on the couch.

a small frown falls on his face when he notices you squirming, a distressed look across your sleeping features as a few frantic words escape your mouth in slumber.

"no! mike- mike please- dont- i need you mike please" you murmured, so softly that mike was sure he was hallucinating.

still he approached your sleeping figure, his rough hands gently making their way to your shoulders.

“hey hey hey” he whispered as he gently shook you, concern in his eyes.

yet you didn’t budge, body trembling beneath him as small whines escape you, even some small tears slipping past your closed eyes.

he shook you harder now, and he lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when you shoot upright, but his relief quickly fades as a quiet sob escapes your lips.

your teary e/c eyes scan over him, almost checking to see if it’s really him.

once your brain finally decides to accept the fact that he’s really in front of you, you fling yourself towards him, more sobs escaping your lips “oh mikey” you cry out.

mike immediately wraps his arms around your torso, one hand moving up to comb through your hair.

“woah woah woah I’m right here pretty girl, I’m here, I’m here” he coos into your ear, holding your trembling frame.

the two of you stayed like that until your sobs turned into small sniffles, your head resting on his shoulder as you took in his scent.

“m’sorry…” you mumble into the crook of his neck

“it’s ok don’t apologise silly, do you wanna talk about it?” he quietly asks you, and you nod.

“I- you died mikey… in my dream… you- you were gone! I- I was so scared… I can’t lose you” you say between hiccups, and he hopes you can’t tell how your words make his heart race.

“im not leaving anytime soon pretty girl, can i tell you a secret y/n?” he asks as he brushes a hair behind your ear.

he chuckles when you nod and cuddle further into him, his face flushing ever so slightly, not that you could notice in the dim light of the room anyways.

“ive been in love with you since freshman year” he murmurs, and with those words your body grows stiff and you sight upright.

“y-you have?” your shaky voice asks

he nods, his orbs locking onto your own, and he goes to speak, his nerves getting the best of him, but before he can you cut him off.

with a kiss.

you had kissed mike.

mike just kissed the love of his life.

the kiss was sweet, gentle, and it seemingly lasted forever.

the two of you eventually pulled away for air, chests heaving as you both gasp gently for air.

you both go to speak at the same time

“I love you so much-“

“I’m so in love with you”

you both gasp at the others words, and you can’t help but giggle.

“so does this mean..?” you question, as you absentmindedly cuddle closer into him

“mean what? that you’re my girlfriend?” he asks gently

“if you want me to be” you say with a smile, awaiting his next words

“well how can I say no to a smile like that?”

—

this is prob really bad I haven’t written in forever but I’m lowkey kinda proud of it for rn, I hope you enjoy!

[silentiumdelirium]

Steve is banging at the trailers door like his life is depending on it. After a few minutes a sleepy eddie opens the door, his eyes going big when he sees Steves face.

‚Whats up man you okay?‘

‚Uh yeah I just need to aks a favor‘ Steve says running a hand through his hair. Now that he‘s actually standing in front of Eddie he gets a bit nervous. He bites his lip and asks: ‚Uhm can I come in? Are you alone?‘

‚Uh yeah sure Waynes working.‘

Eddie steps aside and closes the door behind Steve who awkwardly stands in the living room like he never has been here.

Eddie looks at him chuckling. ‚Sure you okay?‘

Steve laughs to make the nerves go away, nod and shakes his hands out and after a few seconds decides to sit down.

‚Yeah sorry to just show up here but…‘

Eddie grins ‚no worries man you know you‘re always welcome. So what do you need? If its drugs I‘m sorry to disappoint but I just sold my last gram.

‚Uh no its not drugs. I wanted to ask If I can kiss you?‘

For a moment its completely silent then eddie laughs and looks at steve confused. ‚what?‘

‚yeah its well its for proofing robin something.‘

‚You got a bet going or something?‘

‚No not really more like a discussion. Like we talked about sexuality and I asked her how she knew she was gay and she said that she had a crush on a girl and also she kissed a guy and didn‘t like it and then I said well what if the guy was just a bad kisser and what if you still like guys like you like girls like how does she know she doesn‘t like both because you can do that aparently so she said she just knows but then I said kissing a guy and kissing a girl can‘t be that different like a mouth is a mouth right so I need to proof that to her.‘

Eddie looks at him for a moment completely baffeld by his rambles then stutters: ‚ By…by kissing me?‘

‚Well yeah you‘re my only male friend at the moment like besides the kids but I‘m obviously not gonna kiss a kid so yeah…‘

‚oh’

‚oh?‘

Eddie fidgets for a few seconds with his fingers then smiles shyly: ‚I just woke up I haven‘t even brushed my theeth like…‘

‚Doesn’t matter its just a kiss no big deal.‘

‚Like with tongue?‘

‚Yeah of course with tongue or else it doesnt count!‘

‚Oh okay. I… I dont know Steve…‘

Steve‘s confused for a second because he hasn‘t really seen Eddie being shy like this. Usually it‘s Eddie who‘s flirting with him or making fun of him but this seems to comptely throw him off. So Steve decided that this was probably a bad Idea and he really doesn‘t want to scare him off and lose him as a friend so he says:

‚Look if you don’t want to it’s alright of course you don’t have to…sorry that was a bad idea never mind.‘

‚No its fine Steve.‘

‚No I shouldn‘t have asked you this just because you’re my only male friend its no fair…‘

‚It’s okay Steve really it’s just…‘ Eddie laughs nervously ‚I‘ve never kissed anyone.‘

‚What?‘

‚Yeah I mean I‘ve never kissed anyone besides Chrissy in sixth grade but was just a short peck definitely without tongue so apparently it doesen’t count anyway I didn‘t really like it because you know gay and everything so yeah no I haven‘t kissed anyone since…‘

‚What?‘ Steve just looks at him completely thrown off. Eddie chuckles.

‚Why are you so surprised? I mean its not like Hawkins is crawling with gay people just available for kissing and also im like the town freak so it’s not like there’s a line of single men waiting outside to be kissed by me…‘ Eddie trails off a bit embarrased while Steve just contious to stare at him.

I’m sorry Eddie…‘ he starts saying but Eddie interrupts him. It‘s okay don’t worry it’s not like I‘m desperate or anything.‘

‚I can’t be your first kiss!‘

‚Why not?‘

‚Because it should be real and not just an experiment.‘

‚You know what why not? I mean you can probably also teach me a thing or two I mean you‘ve kissed loads and I mean I should train a little bit for that chance that a real kiss comes up right?‘

‚Right but…‘‘

‚Now c’mon Steve you have to kiss me now!‘

‚Okay are you sure Eddie?‘

‚Yeah sure let’s go!‘

Steve stands up and walks over to Eddie who has been standing at the kitchen counter the whole time and he takes his face in one hound and holds the other to the back of his head.

‚Ready?‘ Steve asks and suddenly he‘s so close that he can feel Eddie‘s breath on his skin. ‚Yeah’ Eddie whispers and gets closer both hands gripping the kitchen counter not daring to move an inch. Steve closes the gap between them and feels Eddie’s warm lips on his.

***

Part 2

[created-system-hub]

sorry if this has been asked before but do you have any tips on maintaining focus?

at the start, i would focus a lot on my first headmate. which eventually tuned into two turned into three simultaneously developing headmates. and like i know starting w/ just one headmate to focus on is better but i can't rlly explain why beyond 'just as i got the strong impression that it felt right for J🐦 to be my first headmate, it then started to feel right to bring in the other two – like they were all meant to be here. gut instinct idk. anw point is. our holiday break from work was over and suddenly i couldnt rlly dedicate as much time to them & it kinda feels like the progress is reverting? like. it felt like there was the beginnings of a 4th one wanting to start being developed too but now it doesnt feel like that bud of potential is there anymore. so i'd like tips on how to like. create a routine where i regularly interact with my developing headmates so they can develop fighter & be more. uh im blanking on the correct terminology here but i think its autonomous? like. they dont reach out to me yet, even if sometime i feel their agreement or disagreement w/ anything regarding themselves/who exactly they are if i prod abt it, but as i said, i havent had much time or energy to really focus on reaching out as often as i wish i did, so i havent been feeling their budding presence as often either.

for now i've been trying to do some prodding every night just before sleep but that... isnt always a focused thing. and it feels too short since, inevitably, sleep wins.

sorry i went on a bit of a ramble (sleepy) but yeah. i got my question out. i think? anyways. any advice is welcome! general resources for beginner willomancers are always welcome too. like. im unsure if i actually managed to create a headspace or if i just. imagine i have one. since like. on the aphantasia scale im on the opposite end, where i imagine everything very clearly & without difficulties...

What's a consistent thing in your schedule where you have some time to spare? Do you eat alone during lunch and could spend time with your headmates then? Do you have a spare hour after work/school? If you have a repeating schedule actually block out the time to do things within it. Don't let this time be used for anything else. Set alarms if you need. I would put aside 15-30 minutes to start, and they don't all have to be consecutive! 10 minutes in the morning, 10 at lunch, and 10 in the evening works fantastic too!

Secondly, make sure the things you're doing are fun. I know you;re worried about autonomy but autonomy grows with general development. Lots of general development things can be fun. Play a video game together, discuss a new book, talk about your most recent craft, explain something you just learned to them like they're a new person, discuss a problem you've been thinking about with them. These are things that are fun for me (Yes I'm a nerd) but find something fun for you all that ends with your headmate(s) putting in the mental effort.

Three headmates can be a lot, but I very much understand the situation you're in. I would recommend having a rotating schedule where every day you focus on a different headmate. If you have someone who really wants to be focused on you can take time aside and spend more time with them. I would also recommend having group activities if you can manage it.

Headspace is literally just imagination, so if you're imagining it, you have one. Some headspaces are just more immersive or out of conscious control than others. If you're just getting started making a headspace, your headspace is most likely not immersive, not constantly active, and within conscious control. Keep your headspace visualized and consistent as much as possible and it will grow stronger with time.

I hope these tips help you out!

[machinepixie]

RAMBLY HUNTER THE PARENTING THEORY.

EPISODE 4 SPOILERS AHOY!

PROBABLY SKIP THIS IF YOU ARENT COMFORTABLE WITH TOPICS IN HUNTER THE PARENTING. BLOOD, GORE, MENTAL HEALTH RELATED TOPICS DISCUSSED WITHIN.

heads up my knowledge of WTA is not oh-so-deep, ive mostly just been on the sidelines of one particular campaign at one point. i know a good bit but my knowledge is largely as a mage player.

i think simon "spit" spires is a werewolf or other kind of rage-plagued werefolk, and just underwent his first change.

not sure if its a late change. possibly? i forget the specifics of when things happen.

triggered by the stress of his adhd medication withdrawal amongst other things, overstimulation, a spiral of anxiety and such.

fatigue is a scholar of lycanthrope lore also if you catch it early on. could have possibly noticed when listening to spit venting to him that he is at the very least a kinfolk or associate with werewolf kind, pointing it out, being the full on catalyst for that change.

first changes are often blind, violent rages, far from the more methodical killing of a vampire or their minions, hence the heavy gore and viscera, ending with spit in a state of horror, and confusion, a possible state after a first change.

smaller little thing. i think the blood test could be one aggravating factor in spit's anxiety spiral, as he may be worried it would out him as a kinfolk or as the potential mole. so, spit could very much be another mole, asked to befriend the son of a hunter. i forget if anything was stated about if git and spit knew brok for a while. being afraid of discovery would not help this situation

additional thing: i also think possibly some of the nightmarish things spit is thinking is from a bubbling of rage, boiling to the surface, he's horrified, he's rejecting those thoughts.

ANOTHER THING THATS IMPORTANT TO NOTE BY THE WAY: i do not want to simply say "oh these adhd symptoms mean he's a werewolf!!1!!!!!1!!" though, i myself am adhd and i dont want to seem like im just accusing this poor guy of being a werewolf for just having a breakdown, bless him, this could be a red herring or me overthinking about this.

(i dont think this is insensitive as a theory but if this comes off as such, my apologies.)

im spitballing and trying to sort this now after the rush of the new episode.

thanks for reading. cant wait for more HTP this series is awesome.

edit: forgot to mention literal claw markings.

[curmemini]

Whats going on over on twitter...?

So much mischaracterization...

theres just a handful of very loud voices on mhyktwt who clearly haven't read the main stories/anni's since release and don't particularly read event/card stories, so their interpretations of characters (that get wide amount of reach bc of their follower count) are either flimsy or wrong, flat-out (not in the way that I don't like them bc that's fine, I love reading analysis that I disagree with, because seeing how other people interpret things is important intellectually, but that I can point to multiple areas of the text where - excusing the possibility of my references being mistranslations- they would just Be Wrong) or they post something thats clearly just inflammatory but it circles anyway.. .the post this is in response to is my tags on this right ?

im getting on my hands and knees and saying i would like to see every tumblr mhykkies takes because here, we have the space to actually discuss and build interpretations, and even if you think something is nothing or that you're corn-plating, you're still adding to the overall fandom just by yapping and rambling. and maybe i just wish mhyk had been released ten years ago, when fandom wasnt as cold of an experience as it is now, but i want us to share each others joys ... idk who it was but someone in the fandom was getting an anon live-blogging them going through main story 1 and posting the asks in the main tag and it was such a genuinely joyful experience to watch.

please my friends we do not have to worry about spamming tags, if it's topical to the series you 100% can and should tag it properly; this already small space is made even tinier without your thoughts and voice. i genuinely dont think theres any problem with using the main series tags (mhyk, mahoyaku, promise of wizard) and then whatever character your post is about... as long as you're not adding on like, enstars and i7 and idk a hoyoverse game in there to try to get maximum amount of attention or using the mhyk - ---- tl tag when it's not actually a translation, you're not spamming.

[sqgeism]

First time requesting so sorry if this doesn’t make sense, if you’re willing could you write about Yanqing comforting a reader who’s been feeling down because their feeling burnt out? So so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense but thanks anyway for possibly considering it!

-🌝 anon

↳ pairing : yanqing x g-neutral reader

↳ synopsis : request ♡

↳ authors note : CLEARING OUT DRAFTS 🧸‼‼ i i really wananana get back into writing n i dont wanna leave what i started here!!!

YANQING noticed how much more you tended to zone out within the day. Sure, you'd stop paying attention 5 minutes into his ramble about swords - but at the very least you'd make it to the discussion of how they're made. Nowadays, you're forgetting hes talking to you before he could even start.

Not only that, but you seemed to work and work but seemingly not out of the passion you had before, but almost as if you were doing it in hopes to find a purpose. He couldn't explain it properly, but it was like you were no longer working cause it made you happy, more over because was expected and wanted of you.

Sure, it was your job to serve, but you were allowed to ask for breaks and such if it was needed and you DEFINITELY needed one.

So he had approached Jing Yuan and asked for permission to pull you out of work for a few hours. "Oh, Yanqing.. You kind soul, you're more than free to be able to help them." He does his usual precious smile, bows to his superior and hurries off to find you.

He asked around with the locals if they had seen you, his expression of worry worsening by the second as people would answer more no's and no's. And when all hope seemed lost, a certain fluffy tailed woman had known exactly where you were, and told the concerned blonde once she noticed his usual smile curl downwards into a frown.

"Thank you, Miss Tingyun!" Yanqing bows before running off towards one of the trees in the training grounds, it was a private & closed off area for the Cloud Knights with various different training equipment but a giant tree in the center of it all.

His worry faded away when he saw you asleep against the trunk, snoring softly as your hair was a slight mess due to the wind that was blowing.

The young swordsman sits next to you, his head faced your sleeping form as he hesitantly puts a hand on your shoulder and shakes you. Waking you up from your peaceful nap.

"..Mm.." Was the first sign that you were waking up, watching your head shift slightly before settling in his general direction. Your eyes slowly flutter open, and are greeted to the sight of Yanqing smiling at you fondly and gigglig at your rather sleepy state. "Good Morning." You could hear him saying.

He can see how your expression immediately changes, first confusion and then panic. "W-wait.. Did I doze off?! Oh no, oh dear, I'm sorry for troubling you! I'll return to work-" But Yanqing grabs your hand before you could even stand, theres a small silence for a moment, wind blowing through your hair as you stared into his eyes.

"Don't leave."

You want to protest, but Yanqing shakes his head before you can get another word out. "Worry not. The General allowed you to rest for a little while longer." He reassures you with a closed eye smile, the hold on your hand had no sign of letting go or allowing you to leave.

Grinning at your sigh of defeat, the boy moves a little so you may sit down next to him.

There's a few moments of silence, not exactly awkward but.. comforting. The feeling of gentle wind brushing against your skin, sounds of birds or leaves rustling, and the slow clouds passing by in the distance. You finally take a moment to appreciate everything going on around you, and maybe one of those things was the warmth that wrapped around your hand. How Yanqing's fingers intertwine with yours as he admires the very same things that you are, humming a gentle tune to hopefully soothe your stress away.

"You know.. I don't think I'm built for this line of work sometimes."

His head is quick to turn to you, though your gaze doesn't drift away from the sky up above.

"I dunno, sometimes I can take it and other times.."

You lay against the tree trunk, closing your eyes and take a deep breath.

"It feels like I'm drowning in a pool of my problems and getting dragged further down to the bottom."

He's not sure whether to comfort you with words or with actions, so he simply guides your head to lean down comfortably on his shoulder.

In time, if you'll ask for it, he'll tell you the words of comfort that he's sure you'll need to hear.

For now, he'll be quiet and listen to your problems that you've kept bottled up for far too long.

[dimonds456]

Howdy!

I'm Dimonds456, and welcome to my garbage pile. I'm a bat who stays up way too late and cannot decide whether or not to be productive. I draw, write, animate, play/write music, and I'm also insane so watch out for that.

I'm neurodivergent, disabled, queer, white, a singlet, fictionkin, and a proud cat papa. I am a cartoon character who is way too bouncy for their own good lol.

They / he / xe!

This is my main blog, but my ADHD ass also has a bunch more.

@dimonds456-art - my art blog! Almost all art gets rbed there!

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai - my HLVRAI sideblog! Because yeah why not. This is one of me current hyperfixations lol it's bad

@rubberhose-roy is my sideblog used to gush about 1920's-40's aesthetics, music, culture, ect., as well as an animation blog! All my animations specifically will be reblogged there, as well as any animation rambles or gushes I do.

I have more but those are the main three.

My fandom-specific blogs are:

@dimonds456-but-only-hlvrai (again)

@hlvrai-stuck-together - HLVRAI AU I run!

@halfnautica - Half Life / Subnautica AU!

@a-second-chance-su-au - Old SU AU that has been discontinued, but the blog is still there!

@batim-rewritten - a Bendy and the Ink Machine rewrite I'm working on

@cuphead-contract-au - A Cuphead AU where Mugman makes a deal (discontinued)

And, I have my own OC story, Follychromatic! I reblog all that stuff here, but its main blog is here!

@follychromatic

To see pictures of my cats, check the #Checkers and Chess tag! :D

Okay great. Now, DNI, trigger warnings, disabilities, special interests, and more below the cut. Make sure you read at least once, k? Thanks.

Welcome to my cave!

DNI

Do not FUCKING interact if you are:

- Someone who ships pedophilic, incestuous, or abusive ships while portraying them as positive and a good thing

- A bigot

- An LGBTphobe / transmed / ect

- Trump supporter

- Nazi / fascist / conservative

- Weird about furries or furry art

- Weird about fandom headcanons (specifically trans woman headcanons)

Trigger Warnings

I will tag as much as I can, and if you want me to tag something specific, let me know! But as a general blog cover, things that appear on this blog often are:

- Current events

- Talk of / discussion of sexuality (sometimes boardering on NSFW but not usually)

- Blood

- Guns

- Flashing

- Talk of proshippers (I try to be respectful but also I don't stand for them and I don't support them. I block and move on, and try to explain why proship is bad, but eh. I've only been listened to like once lol)

- Swearing / swear words

- All caps

- Bugs

- Suggestive content / NSFW (RARE DONT WORRY)

I will add more if anyone wants me to, or we can come up with a custom tag, like what I do for one of my friends! (#dimond don't look)

DISABILITIES

Hiiii I'm disabled! Both mentally and physically. I talk about being disabled a lot and try to generate positive talk about it. I also vent about it. I've had quite a few of these, and I also try to reblog as much about others I don't have as I can to increase awareness and understanding. So yeah! These are just the ones I have, but they are not the only ones that appear on my blog!

Hyperthyroidism

Graves Disease

Graves Eye Disease

Astigmatism

Athsma

Audio processing disorder

ADHD

Autism

Trauma / PTSD

Brain fog / disassociation / memory loss

Anxiety

Depression

Cane user

Weak / trembling limbs / trouble walking / trouble holding onto things sometimes

More to be added lol.

This is also a meds/treatment positive blog, a self-diagnosis positive blog, and my general attitude is just "if you think something is wrong you're probably right, you know yourself the best, even if you don't know what exactly is wrong." This attitude has saved my life and other people I know. You don't need a diagnosis or medication to be disabled.

THIS IS A SAFE SPACE.

If you are Jewish, black, brown, Muslim, indigenous, any religion, any race, any sexuality, any weird gender, anything at all- I love and support you. I'm still learning, and I try to learn as much as I can, but I'm not perfect. If I say something offensive or something adjacent, it was NOT on purpose. PLEASE, PLEASE tell me what I said wrong. I will make an effort to improve in the future.

I directly support:

- All races

- All religions*

- All sexualities (except pedos, y'all aren't LGBT, I'm sorry. You're actively hurting children. I've seen it again and again. Stop.)

- All genders and pronouns

- All "weird" identities outside of that as well (I'm fictionkin myself)

- Protests and protesters

- Neurodivergent people of all types (and yes, this means NPD, schizo, and all those other types that are often seen as bad or evil. I love you, I see you, and I support you.)

- DID & OSDD systems

I DO NOT support:

- Antisemitism

- Genocide

- Cults (*stuff like Jehova's Witnesses. I support the members, as they are victims, but I actively dislike the people on top who perpetuate the cycle. Not just JWs, but those are the big ones who come to mind. Hearts out to all the victims, I hope everyone gets to a better place soon)

- Racism in any way, shape, or form

- Religious discrimination of any way, shape, or form

- Israel specifically

- Trump, conservatives, Nazis, ect.

- Endo systems

If I have reblogged or said anything that aligns with the bottom list, that was a mistake. PLEASE let me know and I will fix it as fast as I can. You reading this right now, I love you. I hope my blog can help you feel welcomed and like you have somewhere to go if you need it. /gen

MY FANDOMS / INTERESTS

I HAVE ADHD AND AUTISM AND I'M MAKING THAT EVERYONE ELSE'S PROBLEM /silly

The current special interests are HLVRAI and Half Life, current hyperfixations are Half Life and Poppy Playtime.

SPECIAL INTERESTS:

- Minecraft

- HTTYD

- FNaF

- Undertale / Deltarune

- BATIM / BATDR (unfortunately)

- Subnautica

- Biology

- Steven Universe

- Cuphead

- 2D Animation

- Writing

- HLVRAI

- Half Life

HYPERFIXATIONS (interests but not the special ones):

- Little Nightmares

- Hello, Neighbor (unfortunately)

- Petscop

- Portal

- Freemanverse (HELP ME)

- The Amazing Digital Circus

- The Owl House

- Gravity Falls

- Monster High (very first from what I can remember! I remember nothing though! But it's there!)

- Poppy Playtime

- Half Life

- Wild Kratts (I didn't even know there WAS a fandom until very recently, hi guys)

theres more but my brain is an egg :/

When it comes to ✨me,✨ I have a couple of original works as well! Specifically, Follychromatic! I won't get too into it here (bc shy) but it's 2D animation, rubberhose animation, magic, character-driven, action/adventure, mystery- yeah!

Outside of fandom, though, my special interests are biology, 2D animation, and writing. I am an animator and I suffer for fun.

YOU MADE IT! Have some Checkers and Chess pictures for your time! :)

[starlet-orchids]

Tetro ramblings for the last week of december: go!!

Salvage:

Me when Wada gets even more survivirs guilt slightly cause of hiroaki nakamigawa. ALSO I AM GLAD WADA IS FINE THANK GOD THANK GOD YES.

Tech Support:

Ok I assume everyone knows abt the wada okazaki thinf that happened in good child and like wow, wada saying it brought back memories aghh what if.

Wada and Ojima traumabonding, thats kinda sweet tbh...

OJIMA COMFORTING WADA AGH THIS IS SO CUTE. "Theres family for you somewhere Masanari" god Wada entire arc about found family what if I melt

STFU DID WADA NEVER TELL ANYONE ABT HIM GETTING HURT BY OKAZAKI GOD I CAN NOT, GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL OF WADA PAIN. OJIMA GETTING WORRIED THANK GOD AGHH I CANT DO THISS

Ojima saying he cares and that he can always tell... I love the ojima wada dynamic now, just sillt protective lads...

STFU HAYASHIGEKI IN THE MEDBAY WHAT IF I AGHH

Thanatophobia:

They really are just discussing abt killer & victim possibilities wow haha.

"I dont want to die" "I dont want you to die either" ok pack it up losers

I like how blunt yet sly realistic okazaki can be while Watari is overthinking the future, its interesting to watch.

"Thank you for beinf a friend to me" "Of course" oh you dont know what she did just yesterday watari....

Bad Neighbours:

Hey Shigeki.... shigeki wada and ojima same room... will not go ok..... hahahhaha

God was the Okazaki abuse hurt that bad. OH SHE DID KICK HIM UNTIL IT BRUISED BLACK??? WHAT THE. I am grateful the others care (proving my wada found family arc) (I should write a wada found family analysis thing, I am interested a bit abt it now)

SHIGEKI GIVING SHADE TO HIROAKI AND OJIMA PICKING IT UP, I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF THEM.

Oh hayashigeki, you doomed shits. Yanagi being vulnerable now its Mai's turn in a very twisted way ok...

Insert me falling asleep here for 6 hours

ITS STUDENT SPOTLIGHT KEN, I JUMPED INTO THE AIR SEEINF THIS WOOHOO

Wow Ken brought Kamimura, & hyping each other up yeah!!!

"How do you feel about kamimura kazutoshi" ok bro?? So direct ig. I really like how analytical and blunt Ken is, its quite nice to see.

Hasegawa family lore woohoo!! Im glad that his family relationship is kinda good atleast. They confirmed that hasegawa is gay here too. Man these questions are rough.

Defensive Position:

Ojima trying to discipline Hiroaki. This fight about respect was bound to happen tbh. That sure was rough to watch

Homesick:

Agh I hope Kamimura is going to stay safe rn, hes not coping well with all these motives. The voiceacting is also super good with the breathy cold vibe, man.

Finality:

Hiroaki Tsuno bonding, I love the besties rn. They are making me go a bit insane ngl like oo tsuno is not ready but hiroaki is (maybe he isnt really tbh) like ohh god.

Overall: not ready for the bda soon next week or in a few weeks, I like our current gang going on, I am not ready for 2 to die sooj hahahah, thansk for ruining my life tetro pink /aff

[ravenmichaelisstuff]

Chapter 14(?) of "Better late than never"

Soapghost, flights and cartoons.

Sorry for the long wait but I had some real life drama. I hope that this will bring you all some joy as I decided to bring SoapGhost on a little vacation! I mostly focused in this one on a let's say build up for the next chapters but I managed to make them watch cartoons while at it ❤️

Cartoons

The days in the UK were starting to be unbearably hot, so much that day to day life on the base was getting insufferable. Morning jogs weren't bringing him any satisfaction as he was dripping sweat after just a few minutes outside, not even running yet. His usual morning coffee was undrinkable in this weather, even Ghost has ditched his boiling hot tea. 

The only positive of this horrendous weather was that Ghost not only abandoned his drink of choice but also his usual get up. Now Soap had the great pleasure of seeing Ghost's arms every day. Which- dont get him wrong, he knew it sounded lame but with the amount of clothes Ghost usually wears this was a treat.

But even that wasn't salvaging how he felt on base. All he was thinking about now was a vacation, swimming and drinking cold beer.

And remember how he promised Ghost that he’d take him to the beach one day? He was going to make it happen. 

Half of his plan was already done. The easy part which was convincing Price to give him AND Ghost a leave. What was important was that the leave for Ghost was not yet discussed with the man himself because Soap knew that he wouldn't want to take it himself.

Price didn't even raise his eyes from his ashtray when Soap burst into his office with his request.

"...and ah think that a wee break would do us both some good. Si- Ghost will agree if-"

"MacTavish, I signed off on your leave already during your rambling. If you will successfully convince Simon to actually go? Son, I will give you the best box of cigars I own, because that muppet has been postponing his leave for years and I never could convince him.... you though? I believe you can, so good luck." Price waved him off.

Soap let out an amused chuckle. "Thanks, cap."

"Oh and Soap?" Price stopped him before he could get out.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you. For taking care of him. He is... calmer now, since you are around." Price looked at Soap with that knowing eyes of his.

Soap just stood there for a second, a warm feeling spreading through his chest knowing that maybe he was making a difference for Simon. He allowed himself a gentle smile.

"It's... It's good tae hear. I think he is good for me too, Price."

****

Soap stood before Ghost's bedroom door, mentally getting ready for the conversation. But he set himself a goal and he was going to achieve it, if he has to he will bribe the lieutenant into agreeing.

Deep breath.

He enters.

The doors open just how he expected. Ghost sat on his bed, legs spread out a bit with his elbows perched on his knees. He was reading a book, not raising his eyes from it when Soap entered. He was clearly feeling as hot and miserable as the sergeant did since his balaclava was nowhere to be seen, his hair flowing thanks to the turned on fan.

How Ghost knew every time that it was him who entered the room was beyond him.

"Hm?" Ghost hummed, clearly not having any energy to even lift his head.

"Pack yer things." Soap set on quick and direct approach. No beating around the bush.

And…

 He quickly regretted his choice when he saw how quickly Ghost had whipped his head up to look at him. Worry and a bit of panic visible on his face without the cover.

"Did something happen? Are we getting moved?"

"God, no-"

"Are they moving me?" 

"No, we are fine, Simon. Relax, dear god." Soap sat at the foot of the bed. 

"Then the fuck do you mean, Soap?" Ghost visibly relaxed.

“We have a flight to Scotland in like 3 hours and you really should be already packed.” Johnny said casually. Ghost looked at him like he grew a second head.

“Did Price send us out on a mission that I apparently don’t know about?”

“Yes, mission codename- vacation.” Soap clapped his hands together.

Ghost still looked confused.

“I am taking you on leave, Lt.”

“No, no you don’t.”

“Yes, yes ah do. It’s decided, Price signed on it. Noo c’moan, I will help ya, a’m already packed.”

“What do you mean? I didn’t agree.”

“Yeah, you never do.” Soap opened Ghost’s wardrobe. “I wouldn’t be taking a lot of those hoodies, one is enough just in case.”

Ghost was still sat on the bed. “I am not going, Johnny.”

Soap sighed, turning to Ghost. “Alright, tell me one, one reason fur how come ye don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t do well in public transport and you know it.”

“That’s the dumbest excuse you ever had and yes, you are right. I do, know that.”

“Then-”

“Business class flight- no one will bother yer ass.”

Ghost was slightly taken aback before he came back to his annoyed face. “Well, Glasgow is too… busy for me.”

“Who said we are going to Glasgow? I promised to take you to the beach, remember?”

Ghost averted his eyes and looked to the side. He nodded slightly.

“St Andrews is a wee coastal town. It’s calm there and it’s bloody gorgeous. I planned this Ghost, thought about this a lot. Yer gonna have to try harder.”

“Ok.” Ghost raised his eyes at soap. “I am going to feel useless and fucking awful. Every time I am off base I feel like a piece of shit. Is that enough of an excuse? I don’t belong out there anymore.”

Soap sat next to Ghost again. “Yeah, you don’t belong there by yourself. Ye deserve someone to go with you and spend time with ye.”

“Johnny-”

“I promise you won’t regret it. Fucking pinkie promise.” He held out his little finger to Ghost.

Ghost raised his eyes to the ceiling. “You are something else, MacTavish…”

“Is that a ‘yes’?”

“But I don’t pay for shit.”

Soap laughed and took Simon's hand in his to finally hook their pinkies together. “I promise.”

****

And so their journey to Scotland began.

Soap knew that public airports weren’t Ghost’s favorite thing, probably on the very bottom on that list actually. So he made sure that he booked an early flight and arrived with Ghost at such an hour so they missed the big crowd that would usually gather there.

Of course Ghost being Ghost for the most part was still brooding and it was a nightmare to get through security with him since it was beeping all over. The daft bastard refused to leave his knives so Soap had to stand there and watch Ghost hand over all of the unnecessary metal he had attempted to bring on the flight.

He had an immense urge to slap the lieutenant on the back of his head.

After lots of explanations and Soap’s charm they were allowed on board. Ghost looked surprised when they entered the plane and saw really expensive looking seats, where every one or two seat had its own private “box”. 

Soap read their tickets and showed Ghost a box in the back. Ghost wouldn’t be lying if he said that it was probably the most comfortable and expensive thing he ever sat his ass on. He wondered how first class looked if this was business.

Soap put their luggage on the shelf over their heads and they could finally take a seat.

“Johnny?”

“Yep?” Johnny answered as the pilot’s voice started to soak through the speakers about safety and yada, yada, yada.

“How much did this cost?”

“Don’t worry aboot it. I have some saved money since ah don’t spend a lot from what I get and that's a crakin' occasion tae spend it”

“I would have survived the economy, you didn’t have too.”

“No, ah knew ye would have. But ye wouldn’t enjoy it.”

“I still don’t get why take me then.”

Soap let out an exasperated huff and rolled his eyes. “When will ye get that ah like you near me? It wouldn’t be fun If you stayed on base and I promised you beach.”

 Soap could see Ghost smile gently under his surgical mask and his ears blushed ever so slightly even though he was looking out of the plane’s window at something.

“Where are we even staying?” 

“It’s not a ‘need to know’” The Scot mocked Ghost’s voice and smirked.

“Soap.” Ghost side eyed the Scot.

“Just joking, Lt. Ma’ family has a vacation house there, so at least a’m saving on that.”

Ghost hummed in acknowledgment, but then he squinted and turned his head to the side. 

“Did you tell your family about this?”

“Just my sister. If I told my ma’ she would cut my head off for not spending my leave with them.But I need to relax and not be obliterated with my family being… well my family.” Soap reached into his hand bag in search of something. “Don’t get me wrong- they are lovely. But I would rather spend it with you this time.”

Ghost tried not to think too much about that sentence and its meaning.

“Got it!” Soap pulled out a tablet out of his bag. “The flight won’t be long, but I thought we could watch something.” He opened his saved movies and series. “Fancy a horror?”

“Not really.” Ghost looked at the tablet’s screen.

“Don’t tell me the big, bad Ghost is scared?”

“Have enough horrors on the daily, don’t you think?”

“...Fair. You are right. What about….” He started scrolling through his collection but got stopped by Ghost.

“What’s that?” He pointed at a header with a blue cartoon dog.

“Oh.” Soap chuckled. “I watched it with my niece on my last leave. It was surprisingly really fucking good so I saved it. I watched it a few times after missions- to unwind I suppose. Now you can laugh at me for watching cartoons.”

“I can’t judge- I don’t remember if I ever watched any cartoons.” Ghost sounded a bit distant.

“There is no way ye didn’t have a cartoon ye absolutely loved. Looney Tunes?”

Ghost just shook his head.

“Come on, Scooby-Doo? The Addams family? …You look like an Addams Family guy.”

“No, I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.” Ghost crossed his arms.

“You- seriously? Nothin’?” 

Ghost shrugged and fixed his eyes on the tablet. “Never had… the luxury as a kid I guess.”

‘Luxury?’ Thought Soap, but decided not to pry. “Ah mean- it’s never too late. We can watch this if ye want.”

“It’s whatever.” ‘I really want to.’

Soap smirked and pressed play on the first episode of Bluey. He plugged in his earphones and passed one to Ghost.

Even though the cable was long enough for them to not sit close, Ghost leaned closer to Johnny and pressed their shoulders together. They both relaxed into the seats as the happy tune of the cartoon started.

Soap fell asleep after the first 15 minutes, probably exhausted by the stress of getting Ghost on the plane. But Simon didn’t and after the first episode came another and another. He didn’t even notice when he rested his head on Johnny’s shoulder and started chuckling at all the things the little dog characters were doing. And if the episodes made him feel a bit jealous or sad because he never got to experience half of the love those characters were showing to one another it was only for a second. Because he got one glance at the man resting his head against his own, his face relaxed, crow feet visible at the corners of his eyes and he thought. “Yeah, maybe it’s really never too late.” 

I want to thank all my beta readers from Twitter especially Hel and I am looking forward to reading your comments ☺️

[mueritos]

Goddddd I'm transmasc, but I'm terrified of actually coming out because I actually like my "female figure", if that makes sense. It seems like I was fed so much transmed and terf-y ideals when I was younger that now I can't feel okay with identifying as trans without hating my body. I want to be perceived more masculine, but I also feel like what I'm comfortable with using (pronouns, even though I use mostly neutral ones, traditionally fem or masc clothes, etc) shifts overtime, and I don't want to be defending the labels that I use all the time, especially because I don't want to do top or bottom surgery, or start T (lots of people, mostly online, have told me to just call myself genderfluid, but I don't feel comfortable with that, and I'm scared of being called a trender or something)

I'm sorry for the ramble but I'm so sick of this, maybe this is silly or maybe I'm being completely unreasonable, I don't know anymore. Maybe I shouldn't be worried about how others perceive me like that, but idk. You can ignore this, but I'd also like to hear your two cents on this if you'd be comfortable with it

hey friend :) theres absolutely nothing wrong with how youre feeling or how you want to shape your body and identity. lots of trans people don't medically transition for all sorts of reasons, whether because of lack of access or because they dont want to. while I do think the community that is entrenched in colonialist ideas of transmedicalism are a minority (many are very baby trans people or have aged out of transmedicalist ideas), it is a very real threat in the sense that unfortunate movements have a way of ebbing and flowing into popularity.

that being said, there are SO many trans people open and willing and happy to accept you into the community. it is not your fault many people will incorrectly expect you to conform to certain expectations of gender. a large part of freeing yourself from these expectations is choosing a community that walks alongside you, not one that gawks at you. at the same time, we are forced to conform in certain contexts to maintain safety and access to resources. this forceful conformation is not your fault either. people will forever make assumptions about you, but it is your choice on whether or not you will continue choosing your freedom. this is not fucking easy of course when you exist under white supremacist systems.

youre also allowed to love parts of yourself others may not like about themselves. its not ur problem they feel those feelings. ive had strange comments thrown my way when I discuss how i experience connection and pleasure with my body, sometimes from other trans people. once you start realizing people are coming at you with their own baggage, it becomes a little easier to free yourself from their burdens. again, this isnt very easy when youre marginalized and expected a lot, some of those expectations being you people please.

only you have the clearest image of who you want to be. take baby steps, build your confidence, and find your people. you'd be surprised what a small yet understanding community can do for your confidence.

anyway, i wish u luck ^-^ feel free to message me again if you'd like more thoughts or want to vent. you're allowed to be sick of this, forever and always, but invest in yourself and your communities.

[esotericute]

about that post you made about how different players relate to different characters in deltarune and therefore choose different paths and dialogue, i thought about it and i think thats how toby intended for us to experience the story. i mean obviously, but i wanted to expand on it in a way that i havent seen most dr fans discuss (or acknowledge).

in deltarune, there is a core conundrum that is at the root of all dialogue choices and relationship building: you are forcing kris to make choices. kris doesnt want to to everything you want. but the common deltarune fantheory is that there are 2 pathways to engaging with the story. 1. you do what you want, follow the main story, to satisfy YOUR desires or 2. you do what kris wants (or try to at least). i think theres another aspect that is overlooked, some people aren't trying to make themselves happy, but another character.

when i make choices in deltarune, my primary objective isnt to make myself happy or do everything perfect, i choose all the dialogue and armor/food purchases specifically to make ralsei happy and build susie and lancers friendship. and you mentioned that you identify more with noelle and kris, so i can imagine youd choose all the dialogue when playing susie in the ferris wheel scene to validate noelles interest in her or try your best to fix kris and noelles friendship.

i think some people would say that its basically the same thing, that whether you are ignoring kris's free will because you want to get the best possible ending or bc you like a certain character, the ultimate reason is because you are prioritizing your own enjoyment over theirs, but i disagree. i think the motivation behind these different pathways separates them completely.

when treating deltarune like a game that you need to complete, there is a sense of disconnect and consumerism, where you have to get the best ending because Reasons and you have to do all the endings (regardless of whether or not youre comfortable with all the options) because of Completionism. its very detached and emotionally uninvolved, even if you are happy at the end or satisfied with your choices.

when you make choices in the game to make a character happy, youre not detached, youre actually entirely too attached, because you view the happiness of the character as not just real, but also as equally as important as your own. you get too emotionally attached to a specific character and focus on 'improving your relationship', which is hilarious because most, if not all, relationships are completely linear/stagnant so long as you dont complete snowgrave. like sure you could be an asshole to ralsei in ch 1, but youll still be besties come chapter 2. theres no friendship meter that your relationships are based on in dr, which means youre pretty much ignoring kris for a imaginary friendship that neither of you will benefit from (materially in the game i mean. obviously you have a party bc youre friends with ralsei and susie, but your dialogue literally doesnt change that from ch 1 to ch2. also the nicer you are to them, you dont get any extra benefits)

anyways! just wanted to get that off my chest... if its rambly/ doesnt make sense, dont worry too much abt it 😭 i just wrote what came to mind 😅

i have nothing to add because i completely agree its similar to say evangelion where anno wanted people to identify with one character and experience the series with just that one perspective, through male gaze preferably shinji but its that kind of thing