#dont worry about it my brain is full of bees

[archi-pelago]

i'm not a dog and you're not a mare

[0ne-shot]

night terrors as you rest.

bjsjshs could you tell i dont feel creative with fic titles rn ANYWAY my brain is still so so full from rereading the metal virus arc and a vision came to me of espio's trauma from that. nightmares are still abundant for the poor teen lol. so i wrote a small fic about it in like. a day. enjoy!

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…..

It appeared again.

After thinking those events from 2 weeks ago had finally left his mind for good…

It still creeped into his head.

The distorted images of Charmy and Vector’s metal-coated bodies didn't leave his mind, even in his sleep.

But everyone was cured..? Why was this burden, that wasn't even a result of his fault, still weighing down on his mind until it caved in?

It was an innocent inquiry.

Something that Espio would ask himself to cope with the notion that– oh no, no, he DID know why it was still there.

That heavy guilt and grief that Espio had been carrying in his heart—still after everyone was cured—stayed. Stayed with no intention of growing a wall around itself to let itself be forgotten and pulled back those past images of his friends -– no, family, still with their bodies wracked and coated with metal until there was no more trace of their individuality. Just mindless zombots. 

That’s what they were seized into during that time.

 Worst of all? 

He couldnt even fucking do anything about it except helplessly run around to safe evacuations until he himself became one with them. Maybe that was fate. The most comfortable fate there, really. Out of all the screaming, mercy-kills and trying to save others, he’d pick that time of himself being infected to relive. To pay for the same pain he couldn't save his friends from.

Any pain– any sort of pain he had gone through or could’ve gone through then didn't amount to a speck when Charmy was punished for just trying to be a helpful child. Punished by being slowly dragged down a pool of zombots before he joined with that pool.

Or when Vector had to go through heavier grief for the loss of the kid, trying to preserve him before a cure could be found—all until Charmy escaped while infected and Vector had to latch onto him so nobody else could be put in danger. Then the door shut. And that was it.

Nobody else.

Nobody there with him.

His mind kept on tampering and entertaining situations of what ifs and gruesome outcomes of both his teammates – no, family, –  not coming out cured. Stuck like that.

And with it flashed Charmy’s infected body, how the youngest had to go first, how the little kid had to go through so much pain and agony while nobody was there to answer his cries—

``Espio..?``

..!-

Reality faded.

He wasn't sure whether it faded in or out.

But the ceiling fan he was suddenly gazing at and the small voice next to him proved the former.

``Espio!? Are you…?``

Espio’s head shot up as he jabbed his elbow to the mattress and sat up straight, breathing heavily and sweating as his heart pounded—ironically after rest.

“Rest”?

….

That wasn't rest.

He was better off not sleeping.

He finally turned his gaze to the voice and as he predicted; it was Charmy. Sitting next to his bed with fuzzy antennae drooped sadly and a worried look filling his bleary little orange eyes.

``Charmy!`` Espio frantically replied,  ``You’re…`` 

….

 It was… almost strange to see Charmy worried. Espio never got the chance to really see the bee’s face so genuinely somber and concerned.

It only pumped that guilt further and further into Espio’s heart.

But maybe that was worth the coming relief.

It wasn't real.

It wasn't real.

What you experienced. Was. Not. Real.

They’re still here. Still with you.

Espio took a deep breath and attempted to gather his thoughts.

``Why are you awake? I assume it's already late.`` Espio tried his hardest to speak in a calm, quiet voice to Charmy through the panic-induced rasp that was clogging his throat.

``You were breathing really, really fast in your sleep.. and I got worried.``

…

He was?

He assumed he was silent through that whole nightmarish sequence. But if he was actually hyperventilating enough to wake up and worry Charmy…

Gaia, did he disturb the kid’s sleep because of it?

``...I'm fine. It wasn't anything note-worthy. You should go back to sleep.``

Every feature on the ninja’s body screamed otherwise to being “fine”. His usually swirly tail was still stiffened straight with those images running through his mind, and his heart was pounding wildly in shock from that nightmare.

But, still. Espio didn't want to cloud the bee’s mind and remind him of what happened to him during the metal virus: he had already moved on. That was for the better. The kid didn't deserve to think about that again. But he knew Charmy was one to press on, evidently so. So, the chameleon could only silently pray that he would not ask anything that couldn't be avoided without an answer.

``Espio…`` Charmy muttered with that concern still lingering in his head, ``That’s not normal to do while sleeping. Were you having a nightmare?``

…

Shit.

Guess the universe wasn't feeling like answering that silent prayer.

There’s not many things in the world that can explain full on hyperventilation in sleep other than a nightmare or night terror…

Maybe if he just… could set aside what the nightmare exactly.. was…

``...`` Espio nodded in response to Charmy’s question, before trying to shrug it off.

``About..? It must’ve been freaky—I’ve never seen you so.. scared before.``

``I… It’s not worth noting.``

``Are you sure?`` The little bee pressed on.

Flapping his wings, Charmy flew over and climbed onto Espio’s bed, shuffling himself closer to the chameleon with his innocent eyes eager for an answer. He seemed to want to help calm down Espio with maybe a small side hug, or a pat on the shoulder, too; but the bee was hesitant with that decision considering Espio’s hate for physical touch. Especially when Espio’s stressed, like now.

``...I- It was just a night terror that.. isn't worth getting worked up on,`` Espio spoke through slightly panting breaths, ``and besides, I don't want to remind and stress you out, too.``

``It’s not gonna help bottling up whatever scared y— wait, “remind me”?``

…

Espio slipped out the very thing he was trying to avoid…

Realization slowly pooled in Charmy’s eyes.

``..Oh.``

…This should’ve been expected, huh?

He shouldn’t have tried hiding this.

Hiding this from Charmy, of all mobians.

…But before Espio could try and still save himself from this, he felt a small pair of arms cling around his own—doing what they feared to do before.

``...Espio.. It was okay to tell me, y’know?... I was scared during then, too.``

Charmy then cautiously nuzzled his head onto Espio’s shoulder. 

The ninja’s breath hitched.

He wasn't used to this. Used to having a younger one who you should be looking after, looking after you. Comforting you. It felt so alien to him.

It felt so alien with anyone comforting him, really.

It was mostly Espio’s fault for it, wasn't it? He’d always try to convince himself that walling off his vulnerability was the best thing for him; the best thing for everyone around him, too. Those emotions rarely seeped out, and when they did, every thought was cancelled out for one goal to get it together again and remain stoic once more.

The same thing happened just now, too.

The last part was the only thing that varied.

 His mind was screaming about how this wasn't right, and he shouldn't even have inadvertently told the bee—let alone burden him with his own fears and emotions. Charmy suffered more pain than he did, but he was the one soothing Espio? The chameleon felt so selfish for it.

…But his body said otherwise to his mind as he gently returned Charmy’s hug, wrapping his arms around the bee’s fuzzy, warm body.

His chest felt a little lighter.

He could feel Charmy’s wings twitch a little in shock when his arms returned the favour. It was clear the bee didn't foresee Espio actually accepting the hug—let alone hugging him back.

``...Charmy?``

``Mhm?`` Charmy’s eyes gazed up at Espio, face still nuzzled in his shoulder.

``...``

``Thank you.``

Espio didn't know how else to express it.

Words didn't do any sort of favour, really. But he just… needed to get it out somehow.

The ninja couldn't see, but he could definitely sense a small smile emerging onto Charmy’s face as he tightened his hug around Espio.

``No. Thank you.``

….

They stayed like that for a while.

It felt so soothing. Staying in that position as his breathing finally calmed down and his heart’s pace started to relax.

The images — those horrifying images — slowly faded away back into subconsciousness.

Espio would’ve remained so still for just a little while longer until Charmy’s small yawn reminded the chameleon of the fact that it was still past midnight, and now extremely late. Cases were waiting tomorrow, so was a long, long day. They should get to sleep now..

But Espio didn't feel like letting go anytime soon…

In result, wordlessly, he slowly adjusted his grip around Charmy before slowly lowering his body and putting his legs onto the mattress again as he rested his head on the pillow; now cuddling the fuzzy little body in his arms. He felt Charmy finally comfortable enough to nuzzle his head onto Espio’s chest as he let his eyes flutter shut in sleepiness. 

Espio’s chest felt a lot warmer now.

For a while, Espio’s eyes remained blinking blearily and his hands still stroked Charmy’s fluffy fur—the very thing that lulled the bee back to sleep in the first place.

He stared at the window beside him.

This was quite the long night, huh..?

Espio didn't think it’d turn out this way, but he wouldn’t have chosen anything else for it.

He wouldn't trade this moment for the world.

Exhaustion came to Espio eventually, and he let his eyes close and his hand rest still on Charmy’s head.

``G’night, Charmy…`` Espio slurred with tiredness.

A few more blinks, then his eyes closed.

And the world grew dark again as Espio finally let himself drift off.

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note: charmy ily <3 best bros ever

[canonsinthehead]

(Repost) Naruto/Boruto Headcanon: Chocolate Flavored Potato Chips, The Marriage of Karui & Chouji pt.1

SINCE I COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE, HERE IS IT. Let’s discuss the infamous couple that got people confused but I love them. It is such an unusual match and THE POTENTIAL FOR GOOD CONTENT IS HUUUUGE but you know how Naruto/Boruto writers are (not even going to go on how they met). Anyways we will go into a story/headcanon I’ve came up with going over their marriage ceremony. Hope you enjoy.

I Dont know if it needs mentionning but this has nothing to do with the Hollywood/Modern AU on this blog.

As we have seen for Hinata & Naruto, marriages are momenst when many (different) people get together in one accord to celebrate love. Well in the case of Karui and Chouji it's no different but with a twist. Based on the nature of their relationship, it is an occasion for two different countries to ‘’visit’’ and ‘’experience’’ each other's cultures just like Temari and Shikamaru’s marriage would (still waiting for that damn samba of Suna to show up). Kumo is a huge country yet many people in Konoha don’t know much about it (it's not as familiar to them as Suna). It’s like ‘’that country over there’’ & ‘’those foreigners”. The fact that the event took place in Kumo and not Konoha was a source of stress (fear of the unknown or a catastrophe knowing Killer Bee would be MC-ing the event) and curiosity. I Want to mention in this headcanon, they get married after Naruto & Hinata, and everybody lives.

In other words, It's Chouji & Karui's wedding. Get ready for a ride full of groove, love, and surprises. Also, my writing during the headcanon is not as bad as this intro don’t worry…

This is a repost from my old deleted Tumblr blog, it's already written and will not take long to post all parts. I’m currently trying to finish and post every project collecting dust in the drafts and in my computer, so enjoy.

-REACTION TO THE EVENT

TEAM 7

Naruto is LIVING, he cannot wait for the ceremony to take place. He has been waiting, preparing his stamina and dance moves for weeks; Killer Bee gave him personal intel on how the ceremony would play out and he cannot shake off his excitement. He went and told EVERYONE he knew that high-quality, the best of the ninja world, grilled beef is going to be served at the event. Naruto kept announcing that if you wanted to grab your ONLY CHANCE IN THIS LIFETIME to see Shikamaru dance (or anything adjacent to it) DON’T WASTE IT AWAY! Since he is part of the best men/bridesmaid’s crew (along with Samui, Samui’s brother, Mabui, Darui, Omoi, and other Kumo ninjas making him and Ino the only ones from Konoha in the team) and has something special organized for the event.

Sasuke wants to DIE. Not only he tried the best he could to escape this event knowing it took place in Kumo. Just by hearing Killer Bee's announcement, his brain started melting. He can sense the tsunami of problems from here and wants NONE OF IT. Unfortunately, Karin and Suigetsu wanted to go for good food and ‘’to have a good time’’. Suigetsu kept saying how the people of Kumo know how to have fun, but Sasuke can see through him and knows he will be sneaking in the shadows to get an autograph from Killer Bee. He doesn’t and will never understand Suigetsu’s music taste.

When he thought (ohhhh he thought) his suffering couldn’t get any worse, Itachi and Shisui insisted to go with him (somebody kill him). First, he doesn’t understand why Itachi was so enthusiastic to go (like he knows something he don’t know like always), and let’s not get started with Shisui and his dorky clown behind. This guy tagged along Itachi in the name of some grilled beef (Sasuke don’t see what up with this piece of flesh everyone goes crazy about, he thinks it’s gross since he is the most strict pescatarian you can find out there). Shisui has been practicing his ‘’groove’’ (poor attempt to fit in based on stereotype, I mean he listen to too much rap.) Sasuke knows he has a trick up his sleeve, and he is preparing to be a nation-wide embarrassment (I mean even alien would shake their head at him).

When Sasuke wanted to rip off every hair from his head, Madara (yes, him looking youthful like he just got reanimated) tagged along in the name of representing the Uchiha Clan (look the lie smh). When he found out, he got into heated arguments with any family members he fell on to find the reason for this weird turn of events but regardless of who he asked nobody knows (not even Fugaku, yep he is alive). Madara says he is bringing Obito with him so he can change his mind from his dead girlfriend (lol Rin is alive and coming too).

Sakura thought it was just another exciting wedding ceremony to participate in, something special to her dear friends. Since her friends will help and participate in her (eventual) wedding she must join in also because she vowed to do the same for everybody. It is a fun time for her, tasting the food, meeting new people, seeing everyone looking cute, and enjoying wedding drama (alongside Ino).

 One day as she was trying to find what to wear for the event, Ino showed her bridesmaid’s’ dress who goes with the theme/colors of the event (red & satin).

While the dress had a simple design, Sakura felt it was a little ‘’underdressed’’. In her opinion, there is something a little provocative with the outfit. Ino laughed greatly at Sakura’s reaction saying not only that’s the theme BUT she must look her best to go along with the other bridesmaids (she met up with them because they had to organize many parts of the event). According to Ino’s words “Contrary to you Miss Big Forehead, the women of the Cloud (as the rumors/stereotypes say) are curvy/thick girls. NOT LIKE YOU MY ANGRY SALMON SAKURA”. She can’t let them outshine her for the sake of her pride (but don’t get it twisted Ino gets along with everyone, she has some other motives because she heard the members of Kumo’s national basketball team were going to be present at the event and if she could get it before settling down it was her last chance).

Above, it’s the type of vibe the bridesmaids' team.

Sakura cringed more at her remark (insult) about her chest than whatever else was on her blonde friend's mind, she though how could her friend believe such foolish ideas. I mean Karui is almost shaped just like her, Shanaronnnn. The chest shaming must stop.

As expected, Sai just goes along with the flow but is glad to attend the wedding. Sakura and Naruto keep a constant eye on him since going to a foreign nation, we are walking in a field of mine. If he could offend many Hyuugas at Naruto’s wedding (because what he said got misconstrued and he was way toooo blunt, a mix of both)

Sakura has a headache just thinking about it. this is NOT the place to say something offensive or out of place, no no no. She deeply talked about it to everyone behind Sai’s back who is the only one who lacks insight on many things especially the plans Ino have for the night. Better if he doesn’t know, thinks Naruto.

TEAM INO-SHIKA-CHO

Shikamaru’s aching back and legs can’t wait for this whole mess to be over. When they announced that the groomsmen and bridesmaids had to put together a choreography he almost melted in place. While his sentiment towards dancing (hum meaning making himself the target for jokes from Naruto and Kiba for eternity) wasn’t the best and still rubs on him badly, he really wants the ceremony to go well and to make Chouji happy. So as absurd as it sounds, he put a lot of energy and interest into the preparation for the event more than what people would assume he does. He rehearsed with passion and stood the test by showing a high level of interest  (the boy even cried for Chouji countless times and will more in the future).

 Off course, he will go lay in a closet when the music will come, and people will start dancing and celebrating. He is pleased with how the event’s preparations look for now. He is deeply happy that Karui’s entourage is accepting and very loving towards Chouji.

Honestly, Chouji is SUPER NERVOUS. He almost passed out many times during the preparation of the wedding. While him and Karui are fine together, the idea of many not being good enough to her entourage and family makes him shake deeply. A little bit like he thought he would never get married but time and effort proved him wrong.

On her side, Karui doesn’t worry about it as much as him. Since she will be moving permanently to Konoha after their wedding, she knows her friends took a double portion of adrenaline to make the most lit party in the ninja world on her special day.

For the pre-wedding period, Ino almost quarantined her shinobi sisters to prepare for the event, she told EVERYONE to dress in some form of satin since it’s the theme. She went out of her way to provide dresses and fabrics from Kumo since their satin doesn’t stain when you sweat (for all that dancing I guess it’s breathable). She is the ‘’I’ll get your dress for you’’ type girl like a manager. Her family worked hard to make all the various flower arrangements, someone’s lack of fashion sense is not going to ruin this. She is so excited and can’t hide it. Honestly, she never really thought a day like this would ever come (especially in the way it did with Karui), so she can’t stop talking about the wedding and deeply disses anyone who wants to say anything negative about it.

TEAM 8

Kiba (who is honestly not a ‘’foreigner friendly’’ type of person when it comes to Kumo at least) regardless of his bold demeanor was encouraged by the presence of the quality food Naruto talked about and the possibility of seeing beautiful chocolate/caramel women. I think the Rap/Hip Hop (music from Kumo) Naruto showed him and both enjoy went to his head.

Shino goes along in all respects even if he is stepping outside of his comfort zone, he has neither bad nor delusional expectations and just wants to have a good time.

Has for the Hyuuga, this wedding is a very delicate situation. Due to what happened concerning Kumo and their clan (tried to kidnap Hinata and literally got Hizashi killed). So off course going to Kumo (for whatever reason) is not hot topic with the Hyuugas especially Hiashi who was against Hinata & Neji (yep, he alive too) attending the event. He had legit reasons not to want anyone of his clan to participate but an interesting turn of events took place.

First Hanabi was completely against not attending the event. Her and Konohamaru planned on having a good ole funky time at the wedding like they did at Hinata & Naruto’s wedding regardless of being more formal (I guess). She is determined to find Konohamaru anything close or even a girlfriend since her last attempt at Hinata’s wedding failed miserably. Also, she thinks (like the rebel she is, according to Hiashi) that the favor must be returned, anyone involved can’t just move sky and earth for her sister’s wedding but then drop the ball or lack the same amount of enthusiasm for another shinobi’s engagement especially one we consider to be an ally or a friend. She is more than excited to go outside of the Land of Fire, it’s like a vacation Hanabi already has a sightseeing checklist and items to purchase before going home (apparently, they have great BBQ restaurants and amazing street food). So, no time to listen to Hiashi’s rants, she pressured Hinata to join her since she appears indecisive (as always) not wanting to offend her father but at the same wanting to go for the sake of her friends. Ino has been bombarding her ears for the past months about the wedding how it’s the greatest thing on earth EVEN BETTER THAN HER MARRIAGE (no shame smh).

TEAM GAI

Neji doesn’t want to go and is 1000% against them going (especially Hinata). Not because of the situation with his father (the past is the past, and he has passed over the point of holding grudges at least in this department), it’s more because of … (cue rolling drums and a light Hyuuga superiority complex come on). Yes, you guess it… PREJUDICE (I’m not going to call Neij racist, that’s a big accusation I would say the biggest wing of the conservative bird). The people of Kumo and the whole Land of the Lightning give a bad taste in his mouth. It’s like meat to a vegetarian, it’s just No (no more, no less, just no).

He’s like Sasuke but colder and less open, at least Sasuke will secretly stay and endure to watch Naruto being the king of the dancefloor for his motives. When Neji saw how Hinata was being dragged to the event anyway by Ino, the other shinobi sisters, and Hanabi by force, he talked to her about it but Hinata finally made it clear that she was going out of respect (that’s the reason she gave him). He quickly changed his mind and FINALLY accepted the endless begging from Lee to join the event with his teammates.

‘’You’re so considerate, Neji! We are going to have a good time!!’’ screamed Lee.

Quietly Neji kept to himself but he had the self-appointed mission of watching Hinata’s back during the event. He firmly believes (based on what he heard and his own unrequested opinion) that many thirsty men are going to try to make moves on her married cousin again based on his assumptions.

Tenten is on board with Neji and kind of doesn’t have a good impression of the ceremony regardless of what Ino repeats day and night. Killer Bee left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she still has a remnant of curiosity and doesn’t want to miss her chance to enjoy the event by leaving Lee by himself since she first taught Neji refused to come. Tenten has mixed feelings about the wedding because of her relationship with romance but excitement for the ceremony grew on her.

On the side, LEE CAN’T WAIT. Weddings have a special place in his since it’s the perfect example of love (holding back his tears). Because they had to travel to get to the ceremony, he prepared his clothes and luggage months in advance (yes months, LEE BEEN READY). HE EXPECT NOTHING MORE THAN A GOOD TIME WITH GOOD PEOPLE.

SAND SIBLINGS

TEMARI AND KANKURO JUST WANT TO SEE SHIKAMARU DANCE. NOTHING ELSE TO SAY.

Kankuro, really wants to measure the level of ‘’fancy-ness’’ of the event and he wants to make sure they take note so they can do better for what they have in store for Temari’s marriage. He’s in the front marching with Lee and Naruto full of enthusiasm.

The sensei are here for damage control which includes Asuma (still alive and going strong), Kakashi, Tenzo, Guy & Iruka. Someone bringout the whisky and the whole bottle of Tylenol for Kakashi’s aching back and officially 5th sleepless night.

NEXT PART

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Little Prince (Pt.2)

-------------------------

"The mafia? Roman are you kidding me? Do you know how dangerous they are!" Remus was pacing the living room, his husband Virgil sitting on the couch with his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"They saved my life Rem! It's not like I'm hurt!" Roman pouted, he knew Remus wasnt going to take the fact that the lounge had been attacked well, but he'd at least thought he'd be happy Roman was safe.

"Roman they're the mafia! You cant trust a word they say or anything they do! They're just going to manipulate you and drag you into their messes!" Remus said, almost pleadingly.

"Just because you're a year older than me doesnt mean you know everything!" Roman said.

"I know that you cant keep putting yourself in danger for the sake of your reputation!" Remus said, there were tears in his eyes, Roman felt a twinge of guilt.

"Just. . . Stay away from them, for your own good," Remus said before walking back over to the couch and sitting next to Virgil. He held his arms out, seemingly to pull the smaller man into a hug, but Virgil seemed adamant about not changing positions. Roman sighed and walked back into his room, collapsing onto the bed and turning over to look at the ceiling. Logan's voice echoing in his head, he felt his cheeks heat up as the phrase Little Prince found it's way to the front of his thoughts. He'd never felt that way about being addressed as royalty before. It had always felt like a charade, a costume, like he wasnt really a monarch, but when Logan said it. . .

"Oh cut it out! Hes probably just like ever other man you've met, big sleazy and flirtatious, you're no prince. You're a fool." Roman glared at himself in the mirror and snarled the words, quietly enough that he hoped Remus wouldnt hear him.

He had more nightmares than ever that night, yet somehow they were never able to finish. At the last second a knight on a horse would charge at whatever Roman seemed to be afraid of, and the nightmare would end. He never saw the knight's face, but he remembered the crest on his horse's armor, a dove, with blue and red cloth in its mouth. Roman snatched his journal off of his nightstand, quickly sketching it down to save for later. He wasnt about to let a knight in shining armor slip out of his grasp, especially not now.

The real problem was waiting for him in the morning, The Butterfly Lounge had been shut down by who ever had attacked, which meant Roman had to find a new contract. He decided to meet up with his former boss to discuss the terms of his last, only to receive news that made his skin crawl.

"It says it right here in the fine print, in the event something happens to the lounge or you need to find new work, I chose your new place of employment," the grin on his ex-employer's face was akin to that of a crocodile about to take a bite out of an unsuspecting deer.

"But- that cant be legal! I mean- if I dont work for you anymore then that contract should no longer be valid!" Roman's hands were shaking, he grabbed onto the bottom of his chair in an attempt to steady them.

"Oh relax Roman, The Andromeda Quarter isnt that bad of a club, they'd love you there," the smile widened, Roman felt sick to his stomach.

"Y-yes sir," Roman said, he felt like throwing up as he walked out of the building.

The Andromeda Quarter was one of the most elite sections of the town, men in suites with women trailing behind them like lost dogs, prices so high it was a surprise that they didnt fly at this point. This was his parents favorite place before they moved, everyone there knew him, knew his talents and his family and had more expectations for him than the rest of the city. He had promised himself as a kid that he'd never live or work there as long as he could help it, but he supposed he'd have to add that to the long list of broken promise's hanging over his head like a cloud of acid rain.

Roman didnt talk to anyone when he got home, he merely changed into a pale red shirt with a crown on the top corner and a long white skirt, throwing a white jacket over the top of it before slipping on some heels. His feet ached with each move, but he tolerated it, he had to make a good impression.

As soon as he entered the building his nose was hit with the scent of all manner of alcoholic beverages, the aura of drunkenness carried throughout the whole bar.

It didnt get any better when he walked backstage. The man that greeted him had two barely dressed girls sitting on each side of his chair, his face was dressed with the same self-entitled smile ever member of the quarter wore.

"Roman, lovely to finally see you," he said, his voice dripping with feigned sweetness.

"Good afternoon," Roman said, setting himself down into a chair.

"Now, I suppose you already know who I am," said the man.

"Doyle Andromeda, great great grandson of the founder of the Andromeda Quarter," Roman said quietly.

"Good, and I of course know who you are, your voice is recognized throughout the country," Mr. Andromeda said, brushing back a lock of brown hair.

"Now, there is of course, the contract," he continued, pushing a piece of paper toward him. Roman scanned the paper, looking through every line for some chance of escape, finding nothing but paragraphs of descriptions on just how little of his voice mind and body was really going to be his. He bit back tears as he signed the paper, and swallowed the sobs rising in his throat as he left the meeting. His life was going to be over the next day, he just knew it.

A few blocks closer to home he ran into someone, instinctively throwing his hands up to block his face.

"Roman?. . ." Roman froze at the sound of Logan's voice. He felt his hands shaking as Logan took them in his own and lowered them, letting go to brush Roman's hair back and hold his face.

"I-I-" Roman was trying to will himself to run, to listen to his brother and get away before he got hurt again, but his heart was telling him to let Logan hold him, to melt into his touch until the rest of the world disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Oh my poor little prince, you look so distressed, what went wrong? Do you need something to drink perhaps?" Roman let himself go numb in Logan's arms, tears spilling out of his eyes.

"I promised I wouldnt go back, I promised and a broke it and now I'm stuck and I dont know what they're going to do to me now that they have me," Logan's jacket smelled like lavender and fresh grass, Roman committed that to memory, he was going to buy air freshener with it later if he had to.

"Go back where? Dont cry dont cry, I'll protect you, I'll keep you safe little prince I promise you," Logan ran his fingers through Roman's hair as he cried, his voice full of worry.

"Th-the Andromeda Quarter, to many people know me there, to many people that dont care, that think I'm just a pretty voice and a pretty face with not a brain or a heart in my body," Roman said with a choked cry.

"Shshshsh- it's alright, it'll be alright, I'll fix this, I'll fix it," said Logan. He held Roman in his arms all the way back to Roman's house, knocking on the door twice.

Remus' face fell almost as soon as he opened it.

"Roman!" Roman let out a slight whine as he was pulled away from Logan, grasping at his hands in a desperate attempt to stay close.

"What did you do to him!" Remus said, there was a slight hint of fear in his eyes as he looked at Roman's small form curled up in the corner of the room.

"Please I didnt mean to intrude- i found him walking home- he looked upset," Logan said, all to calmly for someone facing a man who could make an axe murderer look sane.

"Why is he upset then?" Remus said, digging his nails into the doorframe.

"Hes been transferred to the Andromeda Quarter, and I'm going to fix it for him," Logan said, still unnaturally calm.

"He what." Remus rushed over to Roman's side, allowing Logan to slip into the house and stand next to them. Within seconds Roman was latched to his side, head buried in the crook of his neck.

"Roman how did this happen?" Logan held one hand up, wrapping the other around Roman's waist.

"Let's let him adjust to it, he's clearly distressed, if you'd like I can go out and get something to help him," Logan said. Remus looked at him for a few seconds before finally nodding.

"Anything that helps my brother,"

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@frog-candy-bee

@nerosdayinhell

@meowthefluffy

@melodiread

@thecolorfulolive

@boobmaster69

@spooky-scary-virgil

@youtuberswithalex

@rizzyluke

@croftersjam15

@faycanyons

@cemmy

@ethicc-allycomprised

[demonbutch]

u have to do 1-100 now u know that right >:3c (or 4, 14, 20, 25, 34, 58, 84 & 94 if u dont have time)

sfdjkshf this took literal hours

1- Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

i don’t actually use any of these, but ig i would be more likely to make a spotify account than the others!!

2- is your room messy or clean?

very messy rip

3- what color are your eyes?

blue!!

4- do you like your name? why?

i mean it’s better than my birth name, but i also want to try different names i guess?? one day i’ll find the right one

5- what is your relationship status?

single lmao

6- describe your personality in 3 words or less

anxious gay mess

7- what color hair do you have?

pink/red!!

8- what kind of car do you drive? color?

i don’t drive!! D’:

9- where do you shop?

i do most of the shopping at lidl, and occasionally food deliveries from tesco or sainsbury’s

10- how would you describe your style?

dad clothes but better

11- favorite social media account

i’m honestly not too sure?? i tend to just consume social media as one whole thing rather than noticing specific blogs or accounts etc.

12- what size bed do you have?

double bed!!

13- any siblings?

nope!! i’m an only child!

14- if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

i always wanted to live somewhere quiet and remote but lately i’ve been really wanting to spend more time in cities?? i wanna make more friends and see more places, york is probably my favourite city

15- favorite snapchat filter?

the demon filter!! also the one w the cute glasses and leaves!!

16- favorite makeup brand(s)

rimmel on the basis that it’s the only one i can use without allergic reactions lmao

17- how many times a week do you shower?

at least once a day, sometimes more bc it’s the only warm place in the house lmao

18- favorite tv show?

pokemon, especially sun and moon!!

19- shoe size?

6-7 depending on the make!!

20- how tall are you?

5ft7″

21- sandals or sneakers?

sneakers!!

22- do you go to the gym?

nope, but i would like to one day!! either that or get a treadmill or something so i can run without fear of people or cars

23- describe your dream date

probably somewhere like botanical gardens/nature reserves/museums and just looking at all the plants and stuff or honestly just staying home and napping

nap dates good

24- how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

like £12 or so i’m too lazy to count the change

25- what color socks are you wearing?

navy and purple!!

26- how many pillows do you sleep with?

pillow!! fort!! pillow!! fort!! at least four, more if i can find them

27- do you have a job? what do you do?

i volunteer at a small florist in town, but i’m hoping to find an actual paid job that i could do soon bc i am,, broke and feel bad about not working

28- how many friends do you have?

i always worry that i’m gonna miss someone when i answer questions like this sjfjsfkd, there’s seven people that i speak to regularly

29- whats the worst thing you have ever done?

if we’re talking about the things we regret most, probably dating my ex, it was a really unhealthy relationship and is still having a pretty bad effect on my mental health years later rip

30- whats your favorite candle scent?

unscented candles lmao, i find all of the sceneted ones too strong and i get headaches really quickly rip

31- 3 favorite boy names

ryan, kai, liam

32- 3 favorite girl names

i’m honestly not too sure about this one rip

33- favorite actor?

do the mcelroys count as actors?? all four mcelroys

34- favorite actress?

elise bauman

35- who is your celebrity crush?

i don’t really have one tbh but it used to be katie mcgrath

36- favorite movie?

the carmilla movie

37- do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

i used to read a lot but my concentration and focus has become shit since i finished school, some of my favourite books were “the sight” by david clement davies, “when women were warriors” by catherine m wilson and “the long way to a small angry plant” by becky chambers

38- money or brains?

what is this in relation to?? i do not know

39- do you have a nickname? what is it?

not really, my name’s pretty hard to shorten lmao

40- how many times have you been to the hospital?

numerous times for migraines and allergies, but nothing significant to actually keep count of

41- top 10 favorite songs

forests - tom rosenthal

movement - hozier

hugging you - tom rosenthal

nina cried power - hozier

shrike - hozier

nfwmb - hozier

common tongue - hozier

take me to church - hozier

pyramid - jason webley

big houses - squalloscope

i love,, hozier,,

42- do you take any medications daily?

nope

43- what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

dry i guess

44- what is your biggest fear?

anything medical, especially needles

45- how many kids do you want?

none, i don’t think i’d make a very good parent

46- whats your go to hair style?

scruffy and windswept lmao

47- what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

i guess it’d be considered like a medium house?? idk

48- who is your role model?

when i was younger it’d have been some of my teachers but now i really don’t know

49- what was the last compliment you received?

mum complimented my eyebrows earlier

50- what was the last text you sent?

some boring work stuff

51- how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

six or seven??

52- what is your dream car?

something cheap that won’t explode when i turn the engine on lmao

53- opinion on smoking?

you do you, just be mindful of others near you

54- do you go to college?

i finished college earlier this year!!

55- what is your dream job?

anything not related to retail and customer service, ideal if it also involves plants

56- would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

i’d have always answered this w rural before, but honestly probably suburbs now

57- do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

no

58- do you have freckles?

a few, but they’re very faint!! they were a lot more noticable when i was younger

59- do you smile for pictures?

no i’m an edgy bastard, i hate my smile sgdjskkf

60- how many pictures do you have on your phone?

over 3000, i should delete some but i’m attached to these blurry photos of my dogs

61- have you ever peed in the woods?

i mean,, who hasn’t??

62- do you still watch cartoons?

yeah!!!

63- do you prefer chicken nuggets from wendy’s or mcdonalds?

we don’t have wendy’s here so mcdonalds it is

64- favorite dipping sauce?

ketchup and bbq sauce are the only acceptable dips

65- what do you wear to bed?

usually a shirt and boxers

66- have you ever won a spelling bee?

never entered one!

67- what are your hobbies?

drawing, playing video games, listening to podcasts, bingewatching entire series on netflix

68- can you draw?

sometimes, sometimes

69- do you play an instrument?

only the recorder which i’ve not really done since i was 8, i’d love to learn guitar though

70- what was the last concert you saw?

i saw welcome to night vale live in 2015, and jason webley also played music there!

71- tea or coffee?

they both suck, but tea is more tolerable

72- starbucks or dunkin donuts?

starbucks, never had dunkin donuts

73- do you want to get married?

WIFE,, yes

74- what is your crush’s first and last initial?

75- are you going to change your last name when you get married?

i would like to, yes!!

76- what color looks best on you?

i’d say probably reds and browns idk

77- do you miss anyone right now?

yeah D:

78- do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed, i really hate doors being open they make me anxious

79- do you believe in ghosts?

yeah

80- what is your biggest pet peeve?

hypocrisy and people being unnecessarily rude or harsh rip

81- last person you called?

my mum, she’s the only person i’ll ever call lol

82- favorite ice cream flavor?

honeycomb or butterscotch

83- regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular oreos are better

84- chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

rainbow sprinkles, do i legally have any other choice,,

85- what shirt are you wearing?

a binder

86- what is your phone background?

some art of one of my characters!

87- are you outgoing or shy?

very shy

88- do you like it when people play with your hair?

sometimes, but i’ve really gotta be in the right mood for it and i can only stand it for a short period of time rip

89- do you like your neighbors?

i’ve never spoken to them, but i mostly just hear them arguing with each other so i’ve not got the best impression lmao

90- do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

both

91- have you ever been high?

92- have you ever been drunk?

i’ve never been drunk or high, i won’t drink for various reasons

93- last thing you ate?

one of those little frosted fancy cake things

94- favorite lyrics right now

I want trees instead of gravestones, nothing to confessI got a soft spot for your ancient books full of horror storiesI got a music in my head from long, long, ago and far, far awayAnd I still hum its tune, but how could I believe every word it says to me?

95- summer or winter?

winter!

96- day or night?

night!

97- dark, milk, or white chocolate?

milk chocolate

98- favorite month?

october bc of autumn and halloween

99- what is your zodiac sign

pisces!

100- who was the last person you cried in front of?

the nurse at one of my appointments the other day rip

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Oh! I haven't been taking my meds! Mystery solved!

Hmm. I am feeling... Unwell.

[frangipanidownunder]

Finding a Way: fic part 2 of 2

Read Part One

In response to a prompt from @i-dont-wanna-wrestle asking what would Bill Scully Jr’s reaction be to the news of Scully’s pregnancy? Tagging @today-in-fic

She’d missed the 12 week scan because she hadn’t realised she was pregnant.

           “I’ve been missing periods for years. I didn’t think…the symptoms are similar to menopause. I don’t even know what made me do the test. I saw it on the pharmacy shelf and picked it up.” He held her as she shook against him. Even after all their years together, it was so Scully to do this stuff alone. To find out all the facts before revealing them to him. He thought of her cancer reveal. How she’d learned everything she could before presenting the fait accompli to him in that too-bright room.

           “We can still get the scan, though?”

           “I saw the OB-GYN yesterday.” She cast her eyes down, wouldn’t look at him. The flame of fear burst out of his gut.

           “What did she say? Why didn’t you let me come? I want to be involved, Scully. I need…”

           Her hand on his chest quelled his fear a little. “I’m sorry, Mulder. You’re right. I should have let you come. But you’ve been…”

           “Is there something wrong, Scully? With the...?” His breath got stuck in his throat and a vague pressure built up in his temples. In his mind he was saying sorry again. Over and over.

           There were tears shiny in her eyes, loaded, ready to drop. She shook her head. “Not that we could see in that scan. But they’re not always accurate. The risk of genetic or chromosomal abnormalities in geriatric pregnancies is high. An amniocentesis is the best way to be sure.”

           “But do you want that, Scully? It’s invasive, isn’t it? There’s an inherent risk in the test itself.”

           She pulled away from him, sniffing back those unshed tears. “Don’t you want to know what we’re dealing with here, Mulder?”

She spread her hands over her abdomen. He imagined the baby rolling and turning under them, seeking their heat. This baby, like William, was an unexpected invader. They had made love sporadically over the years they’d lived apart. Neither of them really wanting to draw a final line. But since she’d told him, she’d spent more time at the house and eventually, recently, moved back in. The inquiry into the deaths, into Jackson Van De Kamp’s disappearance, was being dragged out. Kersh had approved their leave with pay but only to save face. It was only a matter of time before everything changed. Before everything changed again.

“I don’t know, Scully. I’m not sure I’ve ever really known what we’re dealing with.”

***

Dinner is at 7pm. It’s too hard to get up. The soft bed pulls him further under, a warm grogginess enveloping him. His brain is mush. He remembers feeling like this for years, it’s why Scully left in the end. He couldn’t get up. Life pulled him under, kept him down for days at a time. While Scully worked, he slept and when he did wake, the fatigue made his limbs leaden and he sat in his study while Scully kept them both going.

           “Mulder,” she says. “It’s time to get up.” There’s a whisper-kiss and the faint aroma of Earl Grey. It’s enough to rouse him but when he sees the curve of life at her waist, guilt pinballs through him again.

           The light over the mirror is harsh. Maggie Scully judges him from a gold frame on the vanity. “Are we doing it tonight?” His hair is sticking out. His chin is sprinkled with peppery whiskers. His clothes are rumpled. Bill will see him as he sees himself – old, unkempt, not fit to be anything, let alone a father.

           “We’ve faced worse, Mulder.”

           He lifts her hand to his rough chin. “But has Bill faced worse than this?”

           She lets out a laugh and it settles around his ears. “He’ll come round.”

           Mulder breathes out, leaning on the basin. “I’m not sure I have yet, Scully.”

           Her face falls serious. Her short hair is pushed back behind her ears, like she used to wear it, but twenty years and a late-life pregnancy makes her face sharper in places. She hides the grey. She uses more foundation to cover not just that fucking mole, but her lines. She’s been  taking multivitamins for years, even though they both know they’re about as useful as bee pollen in yoghurt. She does weight training, Pilates, swimming. She drinks a little alcohol, too much caffeine and indulges in Ben and Jerry’s Salted Caramel more often than she’ll admit. She’s 54. He’s 56. The sum of their years is going to catch up with them at break-neck speed. It’s amplified now but when the baby is born, it’ll be blaring out of every speaker.

           “We can’t have this conversation now, Mulder. We have to go down for dinner.” Her hands are kneading her hips and she’s looking at the polished floorboards.

           “What happens if there’s something wrong with it? How can we look after it?”             

The fear spills out and takes the shape of words. She turns to walk out. He swings round to catch her arm. “I wasn’t there for you and William. And truth be told, Scully, when I came back and he was gone the first thing I felt was relief, because I knew I couldn’t fuck it up. I’m scared, Scully. And I’m sorry.” His hands are around her neck, nails digging into the taut line of muscle across her collarbones. Tears sting his eyes but they won’t fall, just stay there, trapped and useless.

           “We’ll find a way, Mulder.”

***

Scully straddled him and rubbed her wet heat along his length. She was full, ripe above him. Breasts heavy, inviting his gentle touch, hair hanging forward as she rocked, soft thighs bracketing his. She’d been sick but told him she needed to feel him inside her. Her mouth pushed against his and he let go of the fear that had balled up in his stomach like a clenched fist.

           She lifted herself up to slide on, taking her time, easing herself down. She grimaced and he held his breath.

           “It’s okay, Mulder. It’s just been a while.”

           “I don’t want to hurt you. We don’t have to…”

           She let her head drop back and he watched her throat as she swallowed and talked. “I want to. I need to. I want to feel something other than nausea and worry. I want to submit to my baser instincts. Besides, the release of hormones will do me some good.”

Her movements were tantalisingly slow, squeezing him. She felt different, thicker, slicker. He had to stop himself from thrusting up too hard but she was flaming around him and his baser needs were building and building. He clenched his buttocks and pushed into her, holding down her hips as he did so.

A pained cry and she sat higher, lifting off him, not quite clear but enough so the rush of cooler air surrounded him. “It’s okay,” she said, voice husky. “I’m okay.”

Her mouth sought his and her breasts fell against his chest. He ran his fingers up and down her spine. Her skin was cool, goose-bumped. “I’m sorry, Scully. Let me help you…”

But she rolled off and went to the bathroom.

***

Tara has cooked a feast. There are three kinds of roast meats, two types of potato dish, pumpkin, vegetable varieties, crusty bread rolls, salads and various sauces and pickles. There’s barely enough room at the table to breathe. Everywhere there is a jug, a pot, a bowl, all perfectly lined up, poised. Matthew has arrived and sits opposite Mulder, a carbon copy of Bill.

           “It’s good to see you again, Mr Mulder.” The young man’s hand is thrust into his, over the glazed carrots.

           “And you too, Matthew. How’s life treating you?” He’s mentally calculating how old this he would be. Have they missed his twenty-first? He doesn’t remember.

           “I’m majoring in Economics, Sir. There’s a post-grad internship at one of the major banks in the city I’m applying for. How’s your portfolio looking?”

           Bill guffaws and Tara smiles as she serves Mulder pumpkin and pork. “Oh, I didn’t check, you do eat it, don’t you?”

           “For God’s sake, Tara, he’s not a practising Jew.” Bill piles beef and chicken onto his plate. “Any wedding plans, Dana?” he adds, as he mounds potato and peas next to his meat.

           Scully, to her credit, simply smiles as she serves herself some vegetables. Tara holds her breath. Matthew pours red into Mulder’s glass and offers some to Scully. She covers her glass with her hand. “None for me.”

           “Oh, Dana, I was hoping to get silly with you tonight,” Tara says, cheeks already pink.

           “I’m not able to drink at the moment,” she says and Mulder notices the tremble of his hands as he serves himself some broccoli and cauliflower. This is it, he thinks. And he finds himself subconsciously reaching for his weapon. His pocket is empty, of course.

           “Are you sick?” Tara asks. Bill watches his sister closely, eyes slightly narrowed.

           “No, I’m…we’re… it’s unexpected, but Mulder and I…” she reaches across to him to take his hand. Warm and soft. “We’re having a baby.”

           He squeezes, tries to breathe but the blow to his guts from her announcement has winded him. Out loud, here, before her family, hearing their news is like listening to the hundreds of people who confided in them over the years of the X-Files, about poltergeists, presences, ghosts, monster dogs, pixies, doppelgangers, unicorns, Yetis, blood-sucking goats and vampires. He shrinks into himself but at the same time knows he needs to be bigger, stronger, for Scully.

           Tara is already around the table hugging Scully before he can even consider Bill’s response, who is watching his wife, his knife and fork clattering to the table. Bill finishes his mouthful, pushes his chair back.

           “What in the name of God, Dana? What are you saying?”

           Scully wrestles herself free from her sister-in-law. “I’m saying that I’m pregnant, Bill. That I’m having a baby. We’re having a baby.”

           Mulder stands behind Scully, hands on her shoulders. She’s tense but he feels her breathing even out and he breathes too. In and out. The pit of fear solid in his gut but anger at Bill’s attitude making it a good fear, a useful fear. They can do this, they can prove them all wrong. They can give this child a life. A good life. A safe life.

           “How about congratulations, Bill?” Mulder holds out his hand. Bill’s hands clench at his sides, his jaw sets firm, his eyes drilling through Mulder.

           “Yes, honey. This is fantastic news. A surprise, yes, but it’s a miracle. A beautiful miracle,” Tara says, kissing the side of Scully’s face. She rushes to Mulder and hugs him close.

Bill puts down his serviette. It flops open on his food. “What will you do?” It’s not even a question. It’s a statement about their life. Mulder almost nods in agreement. What will they do? They haven’t even begun to work their way through this. There’s too much grieving to do, too much processing to wade through. They haven’t come to terms with the impact of losing William, let alone faced what bringing another child into the world will mean.

“We’ll do what we always do,” Scully says quietly, but with authority, with hope, with the sense of belief that they’ve both been searching for. She loops her arm through Mulder’s, tips her chin up to him and smiles. “We’ll find a way.”

[eatplantswanderoften]

Routine

Well...it’s been another hot minute, at for that I apologize. The past few weeks have been crazy hectic for me, and I’m still not sure my body knows what time zone its in. Throughout all of that craziness, there was alot of change. Anyone who knows me knows I live for my daily routine. And hell, has it ever been sidetracked recently. So lets start from the beginning shall we...(if I can even remember where that is). Going to be honest here, this is going to get personal. Any men reading this that do not want to hear about women’s bodily functions, abort the mission now.

First big event was I finally found a doctor, and realized my thyroid medication was way too high for my current size. Dropping the medication was tough in my mind. Even though scientifically I know how it works, for some reason all I could think was “fuck, my metabolism is going to slow down. I need to start dieting again or I’m going to turn into a whale”. When I really should be thinking about all the good it will do, not having it wear away my bones, causing brain fog, etc.  But, I did it, on the newer, lower dose of medication and feeling good about it.

In doing this, I also started letting myself eat a bit more fats. FATS? They don’t actually make oyu fat apparently. They keep me full, they clear the brain fog, not to mention they taste hella good. Andyou know what happened when I stated increasing fatsin my diet? I GOT MY DAMN PERIOD BACK! Its not regular, its not normal, but its fucking happening. This is huge. It means my body may, be it very slowly, actually be starting to rebound from all the shit I have put it though. In the back of my mind I still had this voice saying “if you got your period back, it means you gained weight. Best put a stop to that asap before you grow a huge gut”. But as time goes on, and as days pass and I feel better and stronger, its getting far easier to drown out that voice. Over the past few weeks people have been telling me how healthy and happy I look. My face has more color, I have more energy, I’m even lifting more weight at the gym. Its these points right here that make the recovery easier, no matter how much that little devil inside me is screaming.

Then there was the travel. First came Morocco.  The most exotic, beautiful, and hectic place I have ever beheld. I was worried going there. What will I eat? There is SO much bread. OMG I’m going to balloon. But then I thought, I am NOT going to let this ruin my experience. So you know what? I didn’t. I went there and savored every delicious morcel. The bread, the oils, the dates,the nuts (see below for some delicious photos). Sure I had the little voice screaming inside me (and honestly, I know that will take years to fade, if ever), but its slowly making its way to a dull roar.  And you know what? I couldn’t be happier with this. I finally allowed myself to live and damn, I ain’t ever looking back.

Houston came after this. Not so exotic, not so exiting, but still outside of my normal routine and way outside my comfort zone in terms of eating. While there it wasn’t soo bad. Got to taste some delicious vegan goodies we dont get in Canada, and some fabulous vegan options at the conference and local resturants. But then there was the travel back. Delay after delay, stuck in airports, completely and utterly exhausted. I had some tasty snacks with me, all of which were nuts, chocolate, things I would notlet myselfhave too much of. So in the airport, after hour 3 of my flight beeing delayed, I broke downand got a burrito. Logically, I know its just veggies, a wrap, and some guac. Healthy, fulling and delicious. But I did the badthing and looked up the nutrition. ~750 calories...in one sitting. This basically sent me on adownward spiral from here on out. That voice started screaming, louder and louder as the day went on. It took me until the next day, after a few hours of much needed sleep, to finally realize that this was totally ok. This is a normal lunch meal for most people. Sure I may not be comfotable eating like this quite yet, but it was not gluttonous, not binging, just simply a meal.

Throughout all of this travel not getting to go to the gym was hitting me hard. No morning gym, no evening yoga. So I made sure I went for long walks each day to ensureI was keeping active. But I didn’t force myself to workout, which, in and of itself, was a huge step for me. Not only have I been restricting food all this time, but I have likely been overexercising too. Working out every morning, doing yoga every evening, and never really giving my body time to recover. So this trip, even though somedays I walked 30+ km, I didn’t lift a single weight...and it didn’t kill me. Let me realized that maybe my body does need rest afterall.

So there you have it. The last month in a nutshell. I am finally getting back to my regularily scheduled programming. I’m sorry if this post was a complete clusterfuck of thoughts and stories, but hey, that word describes meperfectly right now. Bottom line is that voice, that little devil inside me is slowly starting to quiet down. I’m allowing myself, trusting myself, to eat what my body needs, not what I think will be the lowest calorie option for it. I feel SO much better for it, and its motivating me to keep it up. So now that I’ve got all of that out, here are some photos of amazing vegan Moroccan food!

Juice was everywhere here. Fresh pressed and DAMN delicious. AND I let me self drink it. LOTS of it.

Moroccan Tapas: Marinated beets, carrots, beans, and zuchinni, zallouk, olives, potato, moroccan salad and bread. Fresh OJ for dipping! From Clock Cafe in Marrakech.

Vegan apple deliciousness from Earth Cafe in Marrakech.

The most amazing mixtures of Moroccan salads known to man.

Vegetable Couscous. This was truly enough food to feed a small village.

Fresh oranges with cinnamon. Simple and delicious.

Roasted veggie meal from Rick’s Cafe in Casablanca.

My Daily breakfast, which I continue to have now that I am home. Nuts, dates, fruit, olives, hummus and BREAD.

Traditional Harrira and zallouk from the most adorable little resturant in the medina in Rabat.

Vegan deliciousness from Earth Cafe in Marrakech.

What I like to call the best damn sandwhich known to man. Found this in the Medina in Rabat. Fresh bread stuffed with fried eggplant and potato, moroccansalad, roasted peppers, Moroccan salad (cucumber, tomato and onion) and harissa <3<3

[writeranon69]

I (apparently) posted 672 times in 2021

46 posts created (7%)

626 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 13.6 posts.

(That is...A LOT OF REBLOGS.)

I added 64 (wahoo) tags in 2021

#i love this - 20 posts

#burnt sunnflower - 11 posts

#this art is immaculate! - 9 posts

#bee and writer writing together - 6 posts (my favorite tag)

#omori - 6 posts

#if you know you know - 3 posts

#seriously - 3 posts

#or - 2 posts

#rambles - 2 posts

#but if you know the context - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#tell piplupmakesstuff to check the tag burnt sunnflower on my blog so they can catch up on the storyline i've created so far

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Doughie: LITTLE BROTHER, NO!

Biscuit: But Doughie...

Doughie: No buts! We're not baking Hero!!

11 notes • Posted 2021-11-27 06:37:56 GMT

(EAT THE HERO)

#4

I just realized I dont really know what to call you? Like Crossover Enthusiast is Cross, SunnyDrinksBepsi is Em/Bepsi, what should I call you? Also, what are your pronouns? I wanna make sure I dont mess them up.

I'm not revealing my full name anytime soon, but you can just call me Writer, Writer Anon, or, my personal favorite...

Anon!

...Yeah, not much variety.

Maybe make your own nickname for me??? I dunno Piplup, I'm sorry.

My pronouns are he/they!

11 notes • Posted 2021-11-27 04:06:36 GMT

(we have yet to find a nickname and I am fine with that.

Remember folks! WAH is still an option!)

#3

hey anon! hows your day been?

Howdy Bee! Day's been going well. Just got home and I'm finishing up on writing something A Hat In Time related!

well at least the first chapter but you get my point

What about you? How's your day been??

15 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 23:28:45 GMT

(BeemybelovedBeemybelovedBeemybelovedBeemybeloved)

#2

a

b

24 notes • Posted 2021-12-04 03:19:50 GMT

(snelsnail the chaotic good...neutral? Evil??)

#1

hihihi okay. so omori spoilers, tw for argument, what can be seen as abusive/toxic behavior, death

this is sunny and mari’s argument, aka my first attempt at an omori fanfic! okay.

It was a beautiful day outside. The wind must’ve been the softest breeze, and the air just warm enough to be comfortable. Cumulus clouds strolled lazily over the air, curling as twisting about and graying near the bottom; a storm must have been coming soon.

As he used his thumb to pick at the aching callouses on his fingers, Sunny Suzuski wanted nothing more than to bask in the sunlight outdoors. He’d kill to fetch his friends and have a picnic in the Faraway park, munching on peanut butter jelly sandwiches and grapefruit from the fruitful tree in his backyard, lovingly nicknamed Mother Grape.

However, he was stuck inside, practicing a duet with his sister, Mari. Over the months he had been practicing this piece rigorously, he had grown to hate it. Just the sound of the beginning notes struck on the piano made his stomach drop; dark, horrible things crawling just at the edge of his vision as he tried to focus.

And here he was, practicing the duet, fingers pressing on the strings of his violin, bow gliding across. As the song progressed, he didn’t make any mistakes; a sickly hope began to bubble within him, gross and beautiful all the same. However, his thoughts distracted him- he cringed deeply as he heard the key note at the climax of the music come out flat.

Mari came to a stop. In the panicked silence between his mistake and her imminent scolding he took the chance to excuse himself from the room. “I, uh,” he said, worries swirling in his brain like a grimy stew. “think I just need some water. I’ll be right back.”

As he just the door behind him, only when he was fumbling with the bow in his hand did he realize that he had accidentally brought his violin with him in the heat of the moment.

He was about to set it down when he saw the end of the banister leading to the stairs. A twisted idea sparked in his mind. He felt his palms dampen on the wood of the instrument, while something clawed at the edges of his thoughts. He felt an anxiety bubble within his chest.

What Ifs and Hows swirled around his mind, but by the time any reasonable excuse to not do it had come to him, he was at the top of the stairs.

As he looked down to the base of the staircase, he felt his heart quicken in his chest, pounding out of his ears and making it so he could hardly hear. His hands trembled, and he couldn’t calm down, no matter what he tried.

He thought back to all the times Mari had denied him free time- time that should have been spent with friends or at school events. Time that should have been spent alone in his room or on grocery trips with his mother. Time that should not have been spent repressing the growing resentment within him every time his sister said, “No, let’s do that again,” or “I thought you wanted this to be perfect.”

He felt an insatiable rage rise within him, so much so that his hands moved without his consent- gripping the bow so tight as to snap the handle, he could hardly focus his eyes as he threw and watched as his violin tumbled down. The sound of the wood cracking almost set him free, a sick freedom, breaking his chains with his own blood.

He could hardly understand a thing as Mari rushed out of the piano room and towards him, asking, “Why, Sunny? We had worked so hard, and you threw it all away; And for what?”

He clenched his hands into fists and dug his nails into his palms. He tried to breathe, but he couldn’t get any air. He tried to focus, but his vision stayed blurred. He tried to persist, but a guilty ache kept him sick and chained.

He couldn’t be here right now. He just couldn’t- not now, not when she was so angry and he was so… guilty.

He tried to walk down the stairs, feet heavy on the wooden floor. Everything felt so vibrant yet so dull- the sounds of his breathing and the creaking of the wood were ear-splitting, but he could hardly register his sister’s yells.

“No! You need to tell me why you did this!”

Mari walked in front of Sunny, blocking his path to keep him stuck. Stuck in this pain, this misery, a cycle his sister held on to do desperately that he wanted nothing more than to break. He was so terribly upset, no doubt having as much questions as she did. He felt a white-hot rage in the pit of his stomach, clawing and tearing it way up into his eyes, blinding his judgement and reason, his self control and attention.

And he did all he could think to do, and pushed.

(fin.)

just pretend the piano room is to the right of sunny’s room or something idk

...The eldest sibling of the Suzukis tumbled down the stairs, eventually crashing onto the very violin Sunny threw down.

Sunny was in shock.

What had he just done?

"Mari?!" He calls to her.

No response.

BEE, THIS IS GREAT. LIKE, THIS IS WONDERFUL.

I'm sorry, but I HAD to write a little more to your thing because it was SO GOOD.

You. Are. A. Great. Writer!

If this is a first attempt, then DAAAANG you're gonna KILL IT when you get more experienced!

Great job!!!!!!

24 notes • Posted 2021-11-27 05:03:31 GMT

(That one time I wrote Omori Fanfiction with Bee! That was lots of fun!)

Man, 2021 was one weird year. I reblogged something for once, started getting asks, and started interacting with more people.

Hopefully you guys know who you are, thanks for being my mutuals/friends. Here's to 2022!!

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[taeyongnakamoto]

EXO: Mafia (chapter 1)

 ‘You are so boring! Please lets go out tonight’, 

‘No im not, I’m just-’, 

you were cut of by your best friend: 'Look, I know it must be really hard to accept, that he isn’t there for you anymore-’, 

'He is! I know it!’, this time you were the one who interrupted the other. Your best friend gave you a please-not-again-look and sighed. 

'It has been three years since that, I know its still hard for you, but you must get over his death! I really don’t want to sound mean, but i can’t take your sadness anymore, it breaks my heart literally.’

You gave her an incredible look, it was the first time, the really first time, when your best friend spoke the alleged death of your brother out.

 She noticed your face impression and looked guilty while speaking: 'I just mean that he wouldn’t want you to suffer because of him, let him go, let him his long deserved peace…’

'He is not dead, Yoona’, you said seriously,

'How you know? Even the police confirmed it. It has been all over the news after all…’ she said.

You struggled with the thoughts whether you should tell her or not, while staring on your hands.

'Tell me’, she said, 'I know you want to tell me something, i feel it. So go ahead and say it.’

That was indeed the truth, you really wanted to tell her everything you know. Because without her you couldn’t put all the puzzles together, to find out about what was really going on. The fact, however, was that you weren’t allowed to.

'I can’t, I promised him’ you said quietly.

'Who?’ Yoona asked, nearly angry.

'Him!’ you said, 'Junmyeon!’

Her eyes widened: 'What the hell are you talking about?’

'Please Yoona dont get me wrong, I really cant tell you anything.’

She looked straight into your eyes for about about 10 sekonds. Then she nodded 'Well i guess you dont need me at all then’, when she stood up to leave your room, your heart dropped. You hated seeing her offended, especially when it was your fault. You closed your eyes and said 'wait’, she turned around, 'sit down and promise me that you will keep it to yourself. Dont tell anyone especially mom and dad. Im only telling you this, because you are my only best friend and i never had a better one. 

'She smiled 'Of course i wont tell anyone, so, what is it?’ 'He calls me once a month, to check if i was alright’ you said.

 Yoona’s eyes widened 'your joking!?’

 'Why would I joke about such things, huh?’ You could tell that Yoona’s brain was working at hundred percent, she probably didnt know which question to ask first.

 'Is he alright?’ She asked and you nodded.

 'Then,…. then why are you so sad every day, when you know that he is alright?’

 You stared at your hands again, to be honest you didnt know the right answer yourself. Maybe its because you havent seen him for three years now. You dont even know what he is doing or where he is right now. In fact all you knew is, that he was alright. Alright wasnt really a yes tho, so you still were worried about him. Every day, every night you were worrying. And the fact that you can’t talk with anyone about it made it even worse. Not even your mom and dad knew about it. And they were the people you wanted to tell the most about it.

 'What did he tell you, why cant you tell your parents about it, why is he pretending to be dead, why on earth did the police confirm his death, when they probably dont even have his dead body and why was his death all about the news? I mean everyone knows your parents but why was it on tv when its not true? God.. i bet it was really hard seeing your parents crying and beeing sad about his dead, while knowing that actually he was alive…’ Yoona bombed you with questions which you couldnt even answer. 

'Well..’ you started, 'he just said that i shouldnt worry and that he was alright. When i asked him where he was and what he was doing, he said that the less i know the saver i am. And when i asked him why he left us he said that it was too dangerous for us, if he staid. Also he said that he got too deep in some things and now he has to manage to get things go well again-’ your voice broke up. Telling this felt right and wrong at the same time. Your eyes were filled with tears now, 'Im so confused Yoona, … when i asked him if i could help him in any way, he said that not telling anyone about the truth was the best help. And that in fact it wasnt planed for me to know it either. He just couldnt take knowing that im crying about his alleged death. Thats the only reason he told me.' 

You were crying now, 'I told him that if he ever should be needed in help, im here for him.’

Yoona came closer and hugged you 'The only thing that matters is, that he is alright. But…' 

'What?’ you asked looking at her now.

'I don’t know, im really not sure but for me it sounds like some mafia stuff right here.’ she said.

'No, don’t say such things, he would never get in things like mafia. Not him, not Junmyeon.’ you shook your head, not wanting to believe. But if you were honest to yourself and Yoona, you had a similar feeling about that too.

'Don’t worry it was just a thought of mine, when was the last time he called you?’ your best friend asked, trying to make you feel better again. 

You wiped your tears away and answered: 'Well, it was last month, i believe he will call me somewhen this week. He always calls me int the second week of the month.’

'Okay, thats good. Hmm.. look, since we have a good reason today, what do you think about going out today and after that I will stay at your home? You know he is okay so why don’t we have a little fun?’

You screw up your face, in fact you don’t want to go out anywhere, because lately you had this bad feeling about Junmyeon. It almost felt as if he was in danger. And you just wanted to stay at home and wait until he will call you again. To hear his calm voice which you loved so much-

Yoona suddenly interrupted your thinking 'Oh come on, please? Pretty please? The last time we went out together is so long ago… please (Y/N). And besides that, i want to introduce someone to you.’

'I don’t know, where do you plan to go? And what if he calls me and im not home?’

'Then he will call you later again, we won’t be gone for ever’, Yoona joked.

But you weren’t in the mood to laugh about it or something similar.

'Please i beg you! You know for all this three years i went out with others friends, but i wanted you by my side. I respected the fact that you weren’t in the mood tho. But now, when you know that he is alright, don’t you think it is your right to go out and have some fun? Oh and remember? You weren’t even at my birthday party, you owe it to me.’

'Do you really have to make me feel guilty, im sorry on your birthday I… I couldn’t party back then..’ you said.

'I know, I know, I heard your excuses for over a hundred times now and I don’t want them but you going out with me tonight. Come on, its decided! Stand up! Today you can’t say no, remember we have a good reason to go.’ she said while pulling you up from your bed and pushing you towards the door which led to your room full of clothes.

'Your saying this as if we are celebrating something’ you mumbled.

'Excuse me, i just found out that your brother is alive. Believe me or not but thats a big relief for me as well.’

'Okay, okay… I don’t have anything to put on tho.’ you sighed.

'You do, you just forgot about every cool thing in your closet because you were sitting home the last three years’ your best friend said, obviously in a good mood now.

You moaned: 'Oh please, what did i do to deserve all this, huh? I don’t want to meet new people. Who is the one you want to introduce to me?’

'Haha, your not funny and its a boy’ Yoona said, faking a laugh pretty bad.

When you heard what she just said you immediately stop walking, so that she had even more struggles to push you into your clothing room.

'A boy? Why a boy? I really don’t want to meet a boy! I forgot how to talk to boys Yoona! Cant we just stay at home and watch a movie? I don’t know, maybe a drama?’ you tried to talk her out of this idea. Because talking to boys wasnt really your talent.

'Hmm.. let me think about it, uhmm NO! We are not staying at home watching dramas, your life is a drama and you finally need some action.’

You were now standing in the room which was full of designer clothes you loved once. But since the thing with Junmyun happened you stopped going out and, just like Yoona said, forgot about the half existence of your clothes. 

While Yoona was searching for clothes you asked: 'So, whats his name anyway?’

Yoona turned around and gave you a smirk: 'Hah i knew you would be interested’

You moaned: 'Im not interested i just want to know his name?’

She laughed: 'Aha sure, its Jongin and he is really cute, but don’t let his cuteness fool you my friend. He can be really sexy, i bet you will forget how to breath when you see him’

'Stop talking nonsense im not that easy, and when you find him that attractive why don’t you go out with him by yourself?’

Yoona seemed to be thinking, after a while she said: 'I don’t know, we have been friends for over two years now, and he is the one i like the most under my friends, after you of course. And i just don’t have these feelings for him. It more feels like he is my brother. I mean sometimes he is so handsome even i can’t handle it-’

'You know i don’t like guys every girl has a crush on.’ you interrupted her.

'Yeah i know, but even though its like that, his character is special, i promise you will like him. And to reassure you, he doesnt like easy girls. And by easy girls I mean those girls who are falling for him just because of his look. He likes girls more like, … well i don’t even know how to explain it. More like you i guess.’

'Seriously why are you so sure that he will like me? After everything you told me about him, it seems like he doesnt even want to like a girl.. was that understandable? I believe you know what i mean.’

'Because i feel it, and now shut up, put this on, then we will do our make up and face and then we are leaving.’ Yoona said and gave you some really short gucci hot pans, a white crop shirt and a big jeans jacket, your favorite one. It belonged to Junmyeon and since you asked him a lot to wear it he just gave it to you as a present. 

'I don’t even know if my parents will allow me to go out’ you said and hugged the jacket.

Yoona crossed her arms and gave you a seriously?-look and said: 'your parents are the most cool people i know and to be honest with you, your mom asked me today if there were any plans about going out tonight with you. Because she wants you to have fun, at least a little bit.’

'Aha,’ you said 'by the way, where do you want to go?’

'To my favorite club, Jongin showed it to me a while ago and since that we always went there’ she answered.

You sighed 'I still can’t believe im doing that right now, well then i guess i will change my clothes now,’ you went into your own bathroom which was connected only with your room. 

If you were honest it felt good having other emotions then only worrying about your brother. It has been three years and you can allow yourself to have some fun. This is why you love Yoona so much, because she was by your side everyday, and everyday she managed to make you feel better.

After Yoona made your natural make up and hair you found yourself in a taxi on the way to the club. Your parents weren’t at home tonight so you texted them a text message, so that they won’t worry. There were some guilty thoughts because of Junmyun, but you got them out of your mind quickly, because you really wanted to have fun now.

The taxi stopped infant of a typical rich-kids-club, and even though you were a rich kid yourself (well at least your parents were rich) you didn’t feel like you belonged here. After all it has been three years since you visited a club the last time. While Yoona paid for the taxi you got out of the car and looked around you at the people. You saw beautiful girls and handsome boys, most of them seemed to be happy but you felt kind of anxious, and the more you think about that boy Jongin the more nervous you got. You didn’t even know why, you trusted Yoona’s taste absolutely but it didn’t stop the nervousness.

Yoona got out of the car a minute later and also looked around herself, probably watching for Jongin.

You saw her grinning suddenly: 'Jongin! Here you are! She said and went towards the clubs VIP doors. In front of the door for the ordinary people there was a huge line. You quickly went after her, so that you won’t loose her.

When you reached her she was hugging a boy at the moment. The boy -Jongin didn’t even seem to notice you. After the hug Yoona turned towards you and said 'Jongin, thats (Y/N), (Y/N) thats Jongin. I hope you will become good friends as well.’

Now, when Yoona stepped out of the sight, you finally could see the whole boy. The first thing you noticed was his muscular body, which was even more emphasized by his white shirt, from which the sleeves were pulled up. Then his face… Yoona was absolutely right, he was really handsome, he seemed nice and badass at the same time and suddenly you felt like, you might like him if his character is as good as his look.

You noticed that he was also checking you out, from your bare legs to your crop  shirt and face, you felt nervous again.

After he noticed your uncertain look, he cleared his throat: 'Hi’ he said, 'So you are Yoonas best friend she told me so much about’, 'uhm y..yes i believe so’ you said and threw Yoona a look, she was obviously amused by this situation.

'She mentioned that you were pretty, but i didn’t imagine you that pretty’ Jongin said. These words made you blush, 'Thank you i guess’ you replied shyly looking on the ground bc you very really blushing. In the corner of your eye, you still could see his gaze at you.

Fortunately Yoona where there to help you out of this situation: 'So do we want to go in?’ she asked. Finally Jongin stopped looking at you and turned to Yoona  'Yeah i already have reserved a place for us’ he said. 

'Perfect’ Yoona said, opened the door and stepped in, leaving you and Jongin alone. 

Why is she doing the situation so awkward, you wondered.

Jongin opened the door and made a movement with his hand, which also was handsome. You didn’t exactly know why but you loved it when boys had handsome hands. 

'Ladys first’ he said then, you smiled at him and stepped into the club.

You could hear the loud music already from outside, so it wasn’t really a surprise when you were in. You saw a lot of people dancing and having fun, but you didn’t see Yoona. 

So you stopped a little irritated, which made Jongin run right into you. You turned back to him a little embarrassed,

'Sorry, i just, uhm, i don’t know where Yoona is.’ you said and noticed that Jongin didn’t seem upset about the litte accident. 

He simply gave you a smirk: 'No problem, she probably went into the VIP section upstairs,’ he said. 

You turned around again, searching for the god damn stairs, when you felt a hand around your waist slightly pushing to the left. When you looked to your left, you noticed Jongin’s right arm around you. The touch of his hand got you a new feeling, it almost felt like your skin was burnin under his touch. You didn’t know what was going on, but it feeled good though.

Jongin smirked again: 'The stairs are here’ he said. You gave him embarrassed smile and went in the direction he took you. But his hand was still on your waist. It seemed like you had some butterflies in your stomach and your knees got soft. Which you didn’t really understand because you met him the first time and don’t want such feelings for him. You couldn’t really help it though.

'You seem like you don’t visit clubs often, do you?’ he asked in a load voice, so that you could hear him through the music. 

'No’ you replied, 'In fact i wasn’t in any clubs for three years now,’

'Is there a special reason? Bad experience?’ he asked. 

'I just didn’t feel like i want to have fun’ you said and remembered about Junmyun again, but as earlier you threw the thought away.

'And now you do?’ Jongin asked. 

'Yes, I believe so’ you said.

You felt his hand on your waist all the way up the stairs and somehow you didn’t want his hand to leave the place, it made you kinda chill, nervous and good feeling at the same time.

When you got up the stairs, which were really narrow, there were some people who wanted to go upstairs. They were laughing and giving you the vibes that they were slightly drunk already. 

To make some place for the people Jongin pulled you more close to him, making your left body side touching his right body side. 

And again you had those feelings…

When you found the table where Yoona was already sitting, his hand left your side, you felt like you want to tell him to put his hand back on your waist. But as soon as you thought the thoughts, you were ready to slap yourself for being so strange. 

You sat down right next Yoona 

and Jongin sat down right infron of you. In your mind you were hoping that Yoona hasnt seen his hand aroung your waist. And as if she can read your mind she leaned over to your ear and whispered, so that only you could hear it: 'Dont even hope that i havent seen it, he obviously likes you. I have never seen him doing that to a girl before. And that means something, i mean i know him for a long time.'

 You werent sure if you should see it positive, maybe he was doing that to you because he thought you were too easy... Anyway you decided to talk about that with Yoona later, since she was staying over night at your house. 

 The time slowly went by, you and jongin talked a lot together, just about everything. You really started to like him. Also you noticed that everytime you were not speaking or not looking at him, his gaze was still at you. You didnt know if Yoona noticed that as well, but it kind of made you feel a little bit nervous. 

Suddenly a boy stand next to you, he was smiling shyly: 'Hi' he said. You guys replied with a hi back. Yoona suddenly gave you the vibes as if she was nervous, you could guess why, when the boy said: 'Yoona, do you want to dance?' 

 She was looking at you and then at Jongin, and then again at you. You nodded slightly. 

 'Uhm, sure, why not' she said. After you stood up, to let Yoona out and sat down again, Jongin said: 'Thats her crush you know?' 

 Your eyes widened: 'Really? Was that Minseok?' 

 Yoona told you a lot about him and about her feelings for him, but you have never seen him.. 

 'Yeah thats him' Jongin said. 

 'He seems nice to me,' you thought,

 'Yeah he is actually nice, but sometimes he can be an asshole. And lately his asshole-phases has been really often' Jongin told you, drank his drink and looked at his glad. 

 'I think everyone has his asshole-phases. Dont tell me you dont have them' you joked and tried to put your left leg over your right one. When you suddenly touched Jongins leg up with your leg. 

 At the very second he suddenly looked up, straight into your eyes.

 'Im sorry' you said, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable and think that you were trying to flirt with him. 

 He gave you one of his smirks again and said 'yeah i also have asshole-phases' He, then, leaned a little bit forward so that his knees were touching your bare knees now. The table was small, so it was really ease to do. 

 You had those butterflies again, but you werent sure how to feel about it. You liked it, didnt Yoona said that he doesnt like easy girls? Then why is he doing such things to you, you dont even know him two days.

 'Do you know that man on the table in the left corner? Surrounded by a lot of girls, do you see him?' 

You turned around, thankfull for the topic change, but you still feld his touching.

 You saw the man Jongin was talking about. Well, at least you thought he meant him, he was handsome and also muscular.

 He stared at you for about 5 seconds and then he turned to a girl. 

 You turned around to Jongin, who also was staring at you.

 'No' you said, looking Jongin in his eyes, 'Its my first time seeing him. Why are you asking tho?'

 'Well he is staring at you the whole time' Jongin said, which made you feel more nervous. 

 'Really? Why?' You asked.

 Jongin's face impression was really serious, too serious for your taste, 'I dont know, maybe he likes you... No not maybe, he surely likes you.' 

 You werent sure how you should reply to this so you just sat there looking Jongin in his eyes and waiting for him to say something. 

 Unfortunately he was doing the same thing. 

 After a while he said: 'If you dont like it, then show him that you already belong to someone' 

 'I dont belong to anyone though' you said 

'Well i could help you if you want' These words made your heart drop, 

'How do you want to do it?' You asked. 

 'Lets dance' he answered 'act like im your boyfriend' You searched for any sign of joking in his eyes, but he looked all serious.

 'Okay' you said 'But i don't know how to dance anymore', you couldn't believe what you were talking about right now.

 Suddenly Jongin was smirking again: 'Come on, i will show you.' He took you by your waist again, you liked how it fueled..

 On the way to the stairs you noticed that the man was looking at you with furious eyes, which kind of scared you. You were glad you had Jongin by your side and decided to act really natural.

 When you reached the dance floor downstairs, Jongin placed his other hand on your waist and touched your forehead with his forehead.

 You could feel his breath on your lips, you looked him deep into his eyes, not sure about what was happening. And the you just simply put your hands on his wide shoulders. Your knees were soft again and you felt some botterflies flying in your stomach. 

 Suddenly Jongin started to talk, which made you feel even better somehow, his breath touching your lips..

 'He is here, he followed us and he is obviously watching us' he said.

 That made you feel anxious. What does he want from you?.. 

 'Dont be scared', Jongin said, 'you have me.' 

 You nodded slightly but it still didnt make you feel better. You wanted home again, in your warm bed...

'Were is Yoona?' you asked, 'I want to find her and go home, i think thats already enough for today, I don't feel comfortable anymore'

Jongin raised his head 'There she is, at the bar with Minseok,' he said, took your hand and led you through all the people to the bar.

You saw Yoona laughing with Minseok and drinking another drink. 

When she saw you she said 'One minute' to Minseok and lent towards you to ask if everything was okay, because you seemed pale.

You told her that a strange man was watching you and following you around, and that even Jongin noticed it.

'..can we please go home now? This messed up my mood' you finished.

Yoona looked at Minseok who were talking with Jongin, and made sure that no one would hear her: 'Look I'm sorry, but this is the very first time me and Minseok doing something alone. If you want home, could you go with Jongin? I will come to your place a little later i have your keys.' she said with a little bit guilty eyes.

You sighed, because you didn't expect anything else, but you werent mad at her though, 'Do you think he will walk me home?' you asked.

Yoona smiled now: 'Ofcourse he will! Hey Jongin!' 

Jongin stopped talking to Minseok and looked at both of you, 'Yeah?' he said unsurely.

'Could you walk (Y/N) home and make sure she will arrive save there?' Yoona asked him.

Jongin smirked again.

You literally started to love his smirk for gods sake...

'Sure, ill take care, she is safe with me' he said.

His words woke your butterflies in your stomach up..

Yoona said 'I trust you.'

'Don't worry' Jongin replied. 

Somehow you felt safe immediately.

Jongin took you by your hand, smirked and said: 'Lets go. See you Minsoek'

'Yeah' Minseok said.

You smiled at Yoona, who just gave you an amused grin, and then you completely trusted Jongins leadment.

Thats the first chapter, i hope you like it ˆ-ˆ

sorry for any typos 

[seeking-sunshine-sea-happiness]

11 ways to be a slightly better human

We are in a time where we all need a list. 7 reasons why your zodiac sign is the worst, 20 reasons why you suck at life, 13 ways to declutter your mess of a brain etc. We need these lists to have something to relate to, something to validate we aren't alone in this gigantic massive negative crumbling world. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. We all need answers to these problems we have within us. These problems we feel we need to protect, so we bottle them up and never share them. WHY? Because God forbid we share our worries or we might be judged or even worse (GASP) embarrassed that we are a disgusting human, walking around with our gross stinky feelings/emotions/thoughts. EW  But really I need these lists too, because you see even as a nearing 30 year old (I know I am nearing grandmahood, grow up.) I still don't always have my crap together. In fact I don't know if I ever will and yeah thats certainly the most terriiying but also completely liberating thing. So here is my list on how to be a better human, how to open up, how to manage your time, how to communicate better, how to admit your'e wrong, and how to procrastinate efficiently. Basically this is my life on how to live each moment as your most authentic, mistake making, human living, open hearted self.

1. BE KIND.

We say it all the time. We share quotes about it. Man even Cinderella is on board with it, and Cinderella is amazing. Like seriously guys, genuinely smile at everyone you see, hold the door (ladies can do it too), acknowledge the homeless (wo)man on the corner even if you can't spare some change. Leave a note for a friend/coworker to brighten their day. Call your grandparents if you still can. Change someone's day with a simple act of just treating every single person how you want to treated. Not only does it require the smallest amount of effort, you might actually find that negative closed off armour melt away a little bit.  

2. WORK HARD  

Let's face it. NO one is going to do the work for us as much as we'd love that. Getting somewhere in life requires ultimate effort. Not just the bare minimum, but above and beyond, blood, sweat, and tears kind of effort. Believe me, its exhausting. But the pay off is worth it. If you're like me in the freelance/artist world, finding work can be a full time job. But when you get to work for yourself, all of that hard work is the ultimate reward, even if it doesn't always feel like it.  Just put in some elbow grease and dont stop.

3. PRACTICE PATIENCE.  

Success, love, finding yourself, money, etc. What do all of those things have in common? They require time to acquire and grow.  We work hard and search endlessly to figure out how we can get these things but we never take the time to allow everything to play out how they should. Put in the effort in life necessary to grow our assets and let it all just happen. Stop for a moment each day and breathe. Reflect. Meditate. Slow down just a little bit and enjoy each moment for what its worth, instead of rushing to get to the finish line.  Unless you have a deadline, then do that fast.

4. LET IT GO

There I said it. Let it go. LET IT GO. What exactly is the "IT"?  It doesn't matter. Its the past. It is unchangeable. It is absolutely most certainly not going to define you unless you let it. You had a horrific breakup. You lost all your money gambling on a boat. You cheated on your spouse. You hurt someone's feelings. You didn't get the 1,000 auditions you went to. Your credit sucks. You failed the spelling bee? All these things are things we don't want to experience or shouldn't have done. But guess what? They happened and Y O U have the ability to pick yourself up, move on, and make the changes to get out of that funk. Do it. You'll feel amazing.

5. COMMUNICATION IS KING

Use your words. Sing them. Scream them. Write them down. But most importantly, get those words out in to the world. We all spend so much time complaining on the internet, or to our friends/family/whoever will listen about the most trivial stuff. Instead we should be talking to the people it pertains to. You don't like something your husband did? You were unfairly treated at work? You feel you're being taken advantage of? You didn't get paid what you were promised? Say something. If you do nothing. If you say nothing. Nothing will ever ever ever ever change. Communucating with one another can seriously change the world.

6. SHARE YOUR SUCCESSES (with no expectations of return)

Many many moons ago when I first started modeling, I didn't have any one to guide me. I didn't have a single person to tell me if something was a scam, or that I shouldn't pay for this or that, don't cut your hair, learn how to dress, what is in a model bag? The internet wasn't really a tool at the time. We barely used emails for bookings. Anyways. It's been my vow and I've felt my duty to mentor/guide/pass on the torch to others when I can. Sharing is literally one of the best things we can do for ourselves and others. Not only does it make you feel good to help someone else out, you are also giving someone else a chance to have a great experience.

What do I mean by sharing your successes?

Example: I can't make a particulr modeling job on Sunday (true story) so I reached out to my network of models and passed on the amazing opportunity to someone else.

Moral of the story. Stop being so competitve and afraid that another model (person) might take your client. If you are good at what you do, people will always remember you. They will remember your hard work, your kindness, your ability to share, and eventually maybe just maybe you'll refer enough people they'll start paying you for it? (Hey its happened to me a few times)

7. DROP YOUR EGO (sort of)

Okay. EGO isn't all bad. We all need to believe in ourselves fully. So.....don't drop your ego completely. DO allow yourself to be more open. I believe that many opportunities are missed because we think we are "too good" for something.  We all want to hold ourselves very high, because we think we are better than something. We think because we made this much money doing this job that we should always continue to make that much and never less, or we've worked this job so we can't be seen doing something we consider beneath it. STOP THAT RIGHT NOW. Yes. We do need to have standards. We do need to demand that we get paid what we are worth. We do have to make sure we are not being taken advantage of. BUT what I have learned is that you can never judge an opportunity because you never know what it might turn into.

8. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

Nobody is perfect, I repeat, NO LIVING HUMAN IS PERFECT. Although we are all pretty guilty of this on the daily reg. BUT just stop it. We are our worst critics, but it isn't our place to judge others or compare ourselves to others. Look within yourself, if you do not like what you see, change it. But stop tearing yourself down trying to be someone else. Your successes, your path, your journey, your life. That is all you. You will never anyone other than you, so embrace that fully.  Be you and be proud.

9. BE PRESENT

GET OFF YOUR CELL PHONES.  It's rude.  It's boring. I've fallen into the habit of getting so annoyed that people are on the phones ignoring the moment that I've just started being on mine, because I hate talking to thin air.

Nothing on any social media page will ever be as important as the conversation you are having with a real live friend, spouse, family member. I don't care how boring the conversation is, when you refuse to absorb the people in your presence, or the moment, you are refusing the have a normal open friendship/relationship with that person.  So if you are having a nice dinner, leave your phone in your purse/pocket/car. Pay attention. The world is beautiful.  Your phone can't hold you at night.

10. CREATE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS

You are completely responsible for your own happiness.  You need to get your life in order, pave your own way, make your own money, have your own individual successes, learn to cook for yourself, whatever. You need to be your own individual. It should never ever be up to another person to make you happy.

INSTEAD- You should be with a person or people or friends who enhance your existence. Who have their own game going and can run alongside you and share happiness. Right? Happiness is shared. And if that isn't the case, run as far away from the negativity that is bringing you down son!  

*Side note- happiness isn't constant ok? Like get a grip. Its work, just like everything else. So if sometimes you have a day where you aren't super happy, its not the end of the world. Promise. Go pet some puppies, sip a latte or unicorn frapp if you have that fat heart, and sleep on it.

11. TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH

YES! Do something bold, something that you know deep down you want to do.  Something you maybe always dreamed of. If you can look deep inside your soul and say, if I do this I will be with the person of my dreams, I can live in a place I've never lived, I can change my life, I can live a little differently, DO IT. It might be scary. It might be the biggest uncertainity ever. It might not even be anything you ever expected. And it might not even work out. But if you don't do it, you will spend your life wondering what if?

As Eminem once nobaly said:

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment Would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you don't take a leap of faith at least once in your life, to do something that might change your life forever, why not take it?  I did.  And I literally woulnd't change it for the world. <3

[pratktcven]

love in a time of social media

love in a time of social media part one. shance. eventual nc-17. alternate universe. lance is the king of shitposts and selfies. shiro is an artist who loves his dog and fatalistic humor. somehow, they fall in love. warning! underage drinking and casual use of marijuana

.

They meet online.

Specifically, they meet on tumblr. Shiro is an artist of middling popularity and Lance is a shitposter of the highest caliber. Shiro follows Lance months before Lance follows him; indeed, Lance is unaware of Shiro's work until Shiro @'s him in a small comic.

'I couldn't resist,' Shiro types below the image. 'Thank you for the inspiration, @lances-a-lot.'

Shiro—@white_iron—has a simple art style and a sharp sense of humor that makes Lance laugh out loud. He reblogs the comic, telling his followers to check it out, and proceeds to creep on Shiro's blog. Lance's first stop is Shiro's small about section.

Hello! My name is Shiro. I am a post-grad history student and I spend my limited free time walking my dog or doodling. art tag doodles photography

Shiro's blog consists mainly of his artwork. Occasionally, Shiro will also post real-life pictures of his dog, a beautiful black and white akita with bright eyes and a dopey smile. There aren't any pictures of Shiro himself. Lance—who takes roughly a thousand selfies every day—comments on this oddity to Blue, his enormous gray long-hair.

Blue blinks at him.

"My curiosity has been piqued," Lance replies primly.

Blue blinks her big gold eyes at him again.

"Enough of your judgement!" Lance over-dramatizes. "I can follow who I want!"

Shiro's blog is twenty-four pages of self-produced content that Lance blazes through in less than an hour. There are no reblogs. Lance nearly twitches at the restraint and—after a moment—decides to check if Shiro's likes are public.

"Jackpot!" Lance crows when the page loads.

Shiro's likes are a riot of memes and shit-posts. Art references and how-to's. Nerdy history jokes. Links to academic articles. Male fitspo. Healthy recipes, juice cleanse tips, and over-indulgent foodie pics. NSFW gifs of twinks writhing open-mouthed on rumpled sheets. Pictures of space and nature. Lots of dogs. Several of Lance's selfies. More than one necromancy pun. If it is at all possible to fall in love with someone based on their likes, Lance does it.

Lance's infinite scrolling comes to a halt at half past one, when his one of his many phone alarms notifies him of the time. Lance groans, closes his browser, and hauls his butt out of his narrow bed. It takes him a couple minutes to find an acceptably clean pair of skinny jeans and an unwrinkled sweater; he hasn't done laundry for several weeks.

"After lab," Lance tells Blue as he wriggles out of his worn sweats into his socially acceptable denim. "I'll do a load tonight."

Blue flicks her tail at him, a rude gesture that Lance returns with one of his own. Blue sends him baleful glance.

"Don't look at me like that," Lance says even as he plants a kiss between Blue's mismatched ears. She lost half of her left ear in a fight before the shelter picked her off the street. "You started it."

Blue meows loudly and bats Lance's nose.

"Okay, okay, you're right. I started it." Lance presses one more kiss on his cat's skull. "Have fun bird-watching. I'll see you later."

Then—with his good-byes said—Lance grabs his notebook-laden satchel, and is out the door.

.

Lance's lab is as much of a challenge as it always is. Lance is good at math—numbers and variables are easy—but his brain refuses to wrap around the concepts of physics. It's a small miracle that Pidge is his lab partner; without her, Lance is certain he would fail.

"You're a lifesaver," Lance gushes as they leave the old building. "Let me buy you pizza to show my gratitude."

"I told Matt I'd have dinner with him," says Pidge. "His roommate is going through some sort of clean eating phase and it's driving him nuts."

"He can come," Lance says. Then, less magnanimously, "But he has to get his own slice."

Pidge rolls her eyes as she texts her older brother. Lance shoots a text to Hunk, who responds with a single thumbs up emoji. They all meet at less than ten minutes later at the off-campus pizzeria that sells by the slice. Lance gets three for himself and two for Pidge; Matt, who is the only person over the age of twenty-one, covertly buys a pitcher of beer that they pour into their small, plastic water cups.

"Sweet, sweet, processed goodness," Matt half-cries as he chews, his mouth filled with cheese, pepperoni, and grease. "How I missed you."

Lance would be more sympathetic to Matt's dilemma if the man hadn't embarrassed him in a game of beer pong at a sorority the week before. Lance can't prove it, but he knows in his heart of hearts that Matt cheated. Nobody beats Lance at beer pong, okay. Nobody.

"That bad?" Pidge grins.

"You have no idea," Matt bemoans. "Like—Takashi's a great dude, don't get me wrong—but when I found him on Craig's List I was more worried about being murdered in my sleep than I was about weird diet habits. Turns out I should have been more worried about the diet habits. Our fridge is filled with kale. Kale, Kit-Kat. From the farmer's market."

"Kale is really good for you," Hunk interjects.

"That's what Takashi said," Matt mutters. "I don't know how much longer I can go on like this."

"Hasn't it only been three days—"

"An eternity—"

Lance laughs at Matt's plight and, once dinner is finished and the four of them part ways, he takes out his phone to tweet about the roundabout retribution.

Lance @lancesalot #revenge is best served blanched. or in a smoothie. #kale #healthyliving #karma

.

It's a little past nine when Lance returns to his apartment. His roommate, Rolo, and his ambiguously defined girlfriend/partner-in-crime, Nyma, are sitting on the couch sharing a joint. A bag of popcorn is ready on the battered coffee table and the television is playing an old nineties buddy-cop flick.

"Hey," Rolo says, smoke curling upwards from his mouth. "Wanna join?"

"Nah." Lance turns down the proffered joint with a shrug. "Gotta take my laundry down. You feed Blue?"

"Like she'd let me forget."

Blue—who is perched on the windowsill—releases a single, plaintive meow. She has no problems letting anyone know what she wants and when she wants it, especially when it comes to being fed.

"Thanks man."

"De nada."

It doesn't take Lance long to gather his dirty clothing and stuff it into his hamper. He takes it all to the basement, throws a few loads in, and settles into one of the old armchairs that have accumulated in the corner. He knows that he should read ahead for his classes, but the siren song of social media grips him. An internal debate rages inside him for all of three seconds before he opens his tumblr account.

Lance barely feels the twinge of guilt.

There are several asks—all anonymous, as per usual—and one unread message. Lance is a little surprised by the latter; after a few weird encounters, he changed his setting so that he could only receive messages from people he followed. He clicks on the conversation first.

white_iron Thanks for the follow! I'm really flattered. You're one of my favorite blogs.

Lance smiles at the message.

lances-a-lot no problem!!! ur art was super funny i laughed at everything pretty sure my cat thinks i'm crazy now

After hitting send, Lance plugs in his chunky headphones into the audio jack. He has a new chillwave playlist that Pidge gave him, but he knows that if he doesn't give Tycho his full attention Pidge may murder him. So instead, Lance pulls up his trusted Rihanna compilation and double clicks on the first song. He bops his head in time with the beat and opens his asks, quickly answering his anons.

Several chart-toppers later, a small ping interrupts Rihanna's plea for the dj to turn the music up. Lance looks at the vertical line of icons on the side of the page and sees that he has another message from Shiro. Lance opens the conversation immediately and reads:

white_iron My dog already knows I'm crazy.

white_iron sent a photo post.

A small preview image has been loaded into the conversation. It is a cartoon version of Shiro's akita, her expression morphed into one of extreme judgement. Her eyebrows—twin dots of white on her dark face—are low over her big eyes and her ruff is fattened comically around her muzzle. Lance cannot help but laugh at the exaggerated accuracy and immediately reblog it.''

lances-a-lot OMG THATS FANTASTIC
 THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BLUE DOES

white_iron Stare into the depths of your decrepit soul and find you wanting?

lances-a-lot haha, yes! blue acts like i dont spoil her rotten shes such a princess

white_iron I definitely know how that goes. Bee has three dog beds, but she insists on sleeping in my bed or in my roommate's.

lances-a-lot blue has peed in every. single. bed i bought for her i stopped trying after awhile it was getting to be an expensive exercise in futility

white_iron Two words. Dog toys.

Lance talks to Shiro for the next couple of hours while his laundry finishes. Mostly, they swap stories about their pets and commiserate about their less than desirable—if not inadvertently hilarious—behavior. Lance even tells Shiro about how he rescued Blue. In turn, Shiro talks about the process he had to go through to adopt Bee. Shiro mentions that Bee is a service dog; what for, he does not say.

Don't be that asshole, Lance reminds himself as the topic wanes. His comfort is more important than your curiosity.

Lance is having such a good time talking to Shiro that he barely notices midnight pass. In fact, if it weren't for the enormous, jaw-cracking yawn that his body produces, Lance would not have noticed at all.

lances-a-lot dude i just noticed what time it was like i could seriously talk about blue forever but laundry sleep ADULTING i have calc at 8 am, ugh kill me now

white_iron Tell me about it. I have to TA an 8 a.m. class.

There is a small pause. Lance gnaws on his bottom lip as he watches the ellipsis that indicates typing flicker in and out of existence.

white_iron Talk to you tomorrow?

Lance bites down harder on his lip. Normally, he would send back a quick affirmation before logging off, but his interaction with Shiro feels different than the interactions he's had in the past. Their chemistry is undeniable and their conversation never felt flat or stilted. Yet while Lance knows he's been lowkey flirting with Shiro, he cannot be sure if Shiro has been flirting back.

Fuck it, Lance thinks as he gathers all his courage and sets his fingers back on the keyboard. He can feel how warm his cheeks are. Just do it.

lances-a-lot its a date ;)

After he sends the message, Lance closes his laptop and jumps off the armchair. He feels jittery and unsure, yet also oddly hopeful that maybe this time—for the first time—his interest won't be a mistake.

.

[theevergreentreepress]

Get to Know Me Tag, or Unusual Asks

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 

is your room messy or clean? Messy, for sure. 

what color are your eyes? Blue, i think they are my best feature. 

do you like your name? why? I think my name is unique, and i never have to worry about someone else having the same name. However, my name is never on those name keychains or whatever.

what is your relationship status? ha. single. 

describe your personality in 3 words or less. soft, empathetic, helper. 

what color hair do you have? my Anastasia dip brow color is medium brown lol. 

what kind of car do you drive? color? 2002 red Honda CRV

where do you shop? target, american eagle, ulta

how would you describe your style? cross between jeans and a t-shirt and hipster-flannel aesthetic. 

favorite social media account? snapchat 

what size bed do you have? full or double.

any siblings? two younger sisters. 

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? England for sure. i love london and their accent 

favorite snapchat filter? theres too many to name. probably any of the flower crowns. 

favorite makeup brand(s). oH GOD. tarte, urban decay, morphe, nyx, kat von d, i could go on... i love makeup too much. 

how many times a week do you shower? everyday, depending on what i have to do/have done. 

favorite tv show? Friends, Parks and Rec, Agents of Shield, the Man in the High Castle, the Royals, um..

shoe size? 9

how tall are you? 5′ 9″ 

sandals or sneakers? both? depends on the season. 

do you go to the gym? yes, almost every day. 

describe your dream date. probably going on a trip around the world. does that count? 

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? um 100

what color socks are you wearing? one is gray stripped, the other is light pink. 

how many pillows do you sleep with? just one. 

do you have a job? what do you do? yes, i work retail. be nice!

how many friends do you have? too many, but i love them all. 

whats the worst thing you have ever done? oooooo, probably eat too much sweets. 

whats your favorite candle scent? mahogany teakwood, bath and body works. 

3 favorite boy names. Patrick, Harry, Aiden 

3 favorite girl names. Charlotte, Eleanor, Paige

favorite actor? Chris Pratt

favorite actress? too many to pick thank you. 

who is your celebrity crush? Chris Pratt

favorite movie? Jurassic World (do you see a theme??) 

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i dont read a lot, but my favorite book is magnolia 

money or brains? money

do you have a nickname? what is it? Jo, Joey, Jojo, Mandus

how many times have you been to the hospital? i think only once

top 10 favorite songs. Goodness Gracious- Ellie Goulding, Stockholm Syndrome- One Direction, You & Me- Disclosure, Run Boy Run- Woodkid, idk i cant decide. 

do you take any medications daily? yes, just allergy meds. 

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) oily

what is your biggest fear? not getting married, and creating a successful life for myself

how many kids do you want? two

whats your go to hair style? curls

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) medium, 4 bedrooms. 

who is your role model? my mother 

what was the last compliment you received? a customer liked my eyes. 

what was the last text you sent? um to my guy friend that said “ha cheater” 

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? my parents never really pushed santa or said otherwise, so i kinda just found out naturally on my own as i got older. 

what is your dream car? red vw bug. 

opinion on smoking? PLEASE DO NOT. 

do you go to college? not yet, next semester. 

what is your dream job? flight attendant or travel blogger. 

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? not normally. my mom does, though. 

do you have freckles? a few random ones. 

do you smile for pictures? yep

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 430 something

have you ever peed in the woods? yes

do you still watch cartoons? yeah lol

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? wendy’s (chic-fil-a over both) 

Favorite dipping sauce? ketchup. 

what do you wear to bed? my dad’s old t-shirts

have you ever won a spelling bee? nope. i came in second once in 4th grade though. 

what are your hobbies? school because i have no time for anything else. 

can you draw? a little. 

do you play an instrument? i played piano until sophomore year. 

what was the last concert you saw? taylor swift i think

tea or coffee? coffee all the way. 

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbs

do you want to get married? yes definitely. 

what is your crush’s first and last initial? CP 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? YES it’s one of my pet peeves when people dont. 

what color looks best on you? maroon/browns/neutral earth tones

do you miss anyone right now? probably my friends/family from my hometown

do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed

do you believe in ghosts? no

what is your biggest pet peeve? HA. when people dont change their last name when they get married. 

last person you called? my mom

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies and cream or cookie dough

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular 

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

what shirt are you wearing? my pj shirt and a robe lol. 

what is your phone background? christmas trees covered in snow!!

are you outgoing or shy? shy at first then outgoing. 

do you like it when people play with your hair? yes plz

do you like your neighbors? yeah! we’re good friends. 

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? yes, both. 

have you ever been high? nope, dont wanna. 

have you ever been drunk? no, but i like to drink.

last thing you ate? granola

favorite lyrics right now. “theres nothing rich folks love more than going downtown and slumming it with the poor.” 

summer or winter? WINTER 

day or night? night

dark, milk, or white chocolate? dark chocolate. 

favorite month? can i choose multiple? october through january. 

what is your zodiac sign? Capricorn 

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mother. 

[og-doubletrouble-kinnie]

Marx Mem

Aighty this is long and it gets a bit dark I guess? Idk its a panic attack mem so.. Warned ig

After a really bad day at the news station (Katie and other various bosses being total fucking dicks. Writing 3 whole news reports in a single day AND Having to take care of food stuffs for the day cause our intern fucking d ied or something) I stumbled home fucking exhausted.

Pretty much the moment I get inside my apartment bastard speaks up "I can't believe you're tired. You barely did anything today."

I tilt my head back and forth and in a mocking tone I talk back "oh sure writing three full length news stories in a single day while making sure the staff is fed and keeping Katie off my damn back is nothing. Su r e"

I pull my gloves off, untie my bowtie and pull off my jacket as I head to the bathroom. Just wanna shower and pass the fuck out, I don't care that it's like 5pm, I deserve a damn nap. I realize I'm far to exausted to stay awake for an entire shower so I just opt for cleaning my face and hoping I dont just conk out on my bathroom floor.

I stand infront of the sink and just space out staring at the faucet for at least a minute. When I snap back to reality I look to my mirror- Surprised to see my actual reflection for a moment before bastard pops up. "Katie was right you know. You're such a slacker~ And you don't write nearly enough stories for her! The head anchor. Sure Tom is nicer to you but he shouldn't be doing the most talking! Keep the camera on Katie, Marx!! You're a man of taste, you know that everyone just tunes in for Katies chest- Hell thats why you tune in. 'Course you already know everything she's gonna say. Unless she throws your script away, like she really should every time cause you write utter filth. I'm surprised she even tries to read the mess you give her each day."

I honestly just stare tiredly into the mirror as he goes on and on, nodding occasionally cause I'm tired enough to believe him. His words blur out at this point and I manage to splash my face with water before tiredly making the stupidest comment I could possibly make while bastard is really active, "God I wish Angel and Bee were here-"

And bastard laughs at me. "Now why could you possibly want that???"

"Oh I dunno maybe it's cause I'm exhausted and curling up with my hoard seems really fucking nice, you pathetic piece of shit."

"Ah yeah I'm the 'piece of shit' have ya seen yourself lately?"

"Oh I'd love to but you seem to always take my reflections place."

"Oh wow Marxy has a bite now, huh?"

I glare into the mirror "Don't call me that."

"Why? Cause your precious little Angel gave it to ya? C'mon Marxy lighten up, it's not like I'm real."

I roll my eyes. Again with the "not real" thing, huh? Okay yeah sure. "Yeah, them being here would be great... I'd love to ignore you for the night." I turn from the mirror, ready to go sleep but-

He seems to not like when I want to ignore him... Cause- well thats when he brings out the big guns "What makes you think they want to be here?"

I freeze... He usually doesn't get to me like this... But ya know- I'm exhausted.. And hearing that one sentence makes my mind swarm with all the things Angel and Bee could be saying about me- about how much they could hate me... I can't shake it away with logic cause it practically doesnt exist in this moment. I turn back to the mirror. "I- I don't-"

"Exactly. There's no reason for either of them to want to be around you."

"Y- yeah-" I nod slowly and lean against the wall, glancing at the mirror for a moment before looking to the floor.

"I mean, just look at you! You're pathetic!"

I listen and look back to the mirror, my reflection is back. My eye bags are huge, my hairs a mess (more so than usual), he's right. I look pathetic... Of course I do. I always do... I slide down the wall, mostly due to my legs being to tired to hold me up, but also cause it's where I belong. The floor is the proper home for someone who looks like such trash.

"Do you really think they care about you? Oh sure Angel's stopped taking blood but who's to say thats his choice? He probably stopped cause Charlies buckling down on his drug problems~ If thats the case, then why would he bother to still have sex with you? Maybe you've somehow convinced him you're the only one he should be with? How cruel... Why should you hold him back? Why even bother talking to him when you're so controlling and possessive??"

I bring my knees closer to my chest, instinctively curling up to try and block him out. I try to mumble a stop but only manage a small squeak. I feel my claws digging into my arms but dont do anything to stop it.

"Oh and Dont even get me started on Bee! You're clearly manipulating him too! Why else would he call you "boss"? Why else would he do nearly anything you ask of him? Oh sure he could easily take you down if he found a problem with you, but what if you're all he has? He puts up with your constant abuse because he thinks he can't get anyone else? Do you really think he wants to put up with you? That either of them do?"

I shake my head. I dont know if I'm answering him if trying to refuse it.

"Just look at what happened with Baxter. How long until you somehow corrupt them aswell?"

"B-"

"Pfft- Surely you didnt think Baxters actions were his own?? My my, Marx I knew you were stupid but I didnt realize it was that bad. You obviously made Baxter feel inferior, even you knew that. But you never dealt with it. You let it fester and grow. I bet you just loved watching Baxter hate himself all because of you? Don't try to deny me, Marxy. I know it all, its so incredibly obvious I'm surprised nobodies figured it out yet... Then again, if you cant even figure this out about yourself, then maybe your friends have the intelligence of rocks!"

Now I feel a few tears run down my cheeks and go to wipe them- But.. Well I suppose I've broken skin on my arms cause I just smear blood on my face.

"Oh nice job you fucking idiot. What are people gonna say when they see those scars? They'll think you're some kind of edgy teenager. Then again- you might aswell be. Constantly wanting the attention of others."

I shake my head harder, hands moving from my arms to my head "n-no... It- it was an accident-"

"Awe... But that doesn't matter Marx! The point is that you did it in the first place!"

I whimper and shake- pulling my hair hard enough that I feel I should be pulling out hairs.

I hear the faintest door in the distance- due to how muffled it sounds I assume it's a neighbors door...

Bastard.. Thankfully quiets down for a moment- I manage to move my hands back to my arms- I can't loosen their grip... But scraped up arms are easier to deal with than a scraped up head.

Then Angel comes in- "Ma- Oh my god- Bee! Bee I found him-!" Angel crouches down beside me and very carefully grabs my hands, and pulls them from my arms. "Marx wh- What happened?"

I hear bastard laugh from the mirror "You can't tell him. He won't believe you."

"I-"

Bee comes in- Fast. "Boss?!" I assume Angels tone must've scared him- and well. He scares me- I jump, grabbing my arms again and my wings pop up.

Angel grumbles "Damnit- Bee ya scared 'im-"

I scoot away before Angel can try to pry my hands free again-

"Mar-?"

"N-no no- you're- You're not supposed to be here-"

Bee crouches down by Angel, "Boss what're ya talkin 'bout?"

"Oh you're finally pushing them away now?" I glance at the mirror- bastard is just eating this up.

My hands get tighter as my eyes dart back to Angel and Bee. I stare like a deer in headlights- expecting them to.. I dont know- do.. Something...

Angel turns to Bee "Bee see if you can find some bandages- I'll... Try and calm him back down..."

Bee nods, gives me a sad/worried look then gets up and leaves the room. Angel shuffles over to me, and I instinctively push myself farther into the corner.

"Marx I'm not gonna hurt you- it's alright..."

"He's talking to you like youre an animal. He sees you as dangerous. He has every right to. You could attack at any moment."

"Sh- s hut up-"

Angel tilts his head "Wh-?"

"Awe look how cute, he thinks you're talking to him."

"Shut up"

"Mar-" He looks concerned... Possibly scared..

"You're scaring him~ Of course you are... You probably scare him often.."

I shoot up, yelling toward the mirror "I said shUT UP!!!" I hear a loud thud and suddenly my hand hurts- I punched my wall...

Theres a small crash in the kitchen and Bee comes running in, holding a roll of bandages- I look down to Angel- And yeah.. He looks scared- So does Bee- I drop my hand from the wall and back away the few inches I can without stumbling into my bath-

"C-can't... Can't you hear it" I try not to physically cringe at how... Pathetic I sound

I hear bastard laugh, and Bee and Angel exchange a confused look.

"Hear... What, Boss?"

"I- it. The voice. I- I can't- I can't be the only one-" One hand goes back to my hair.

"Oh you sad, sad man..."

Angel gets up and comes over to me- Grabbing the hand in my hair and pulling it down before I can start pulling. "Marxy.... Hun- Are you alright...?" He lowers me onto the side of the tub.

I stare at the floor, squinting slightly "I-... I don't???"

Angel gestures at Bee, he steps over, handing Angel the bandage roll then sitting next to me. He puts a hand on my back, rubbing small circles.

"Let me see your arms, Marxy-"

With the extra exhaustion from the panic attack I just tiredly listen to him, flopping my arms on my lap- my wings vanishing. Angel starts wrapping them up. I feel myself yawn, and I lean on Bee, he moves from rubbing my back to putting his two arms on that side around me. I feel myself starting to doze off- but I'm still jumping awake each time.

When Angel finishes wrapping my arms, he picks me up and heads for the bed. I glare at the bandages, My tired dragon brain doesn't like them... So I bite at them- Or at least I try but Angel baps my nose. "Don't you even try, Mister."

I tiredly whine and grumble, flopping into Angels chest. "B u t.... I dont-"

"I dont care if ya don't like 'em, you need to heal and bitin your bandages aint gonna help."

Angel sets me down on the bed and I pbbthh at him. Him and Bee climb in on either side of me and I yawn again.

"Sounds like ya need to sleep, Boss-"

"Mmrmm..." I roll over and face Bee, "No shit... Katie n the others worked me like a dog t'day..." I shove my face into the Matress

"Don't they overwork you every day?"

"Ye s it was just worse this time"

I feel Bee pat my back a few times, and Angel cuddles up to my side and starts talkin, "Well we wanted to go to the bar- But a nap sounds pretty nice instead..."

Bee hums in agreement- he doesn't lay down though... Just stays sitting next to me and keeps a hand on my back.

There's a few moments of silence, but I eventually pass out.

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 2 - "I made fake receipts and everything." - Jaiden

Nic

so we win immunity, the heroes are going to tribal and blah blah blah then ian quits and we have a new challenge and jaiden starts acting like.... himself he starts being self destructive and says he wants to go home and tells me he thinks i have the idol which i don’t all i have is a weird rock and idk what it’s for but anyway i’m fine with jaiden going but the thing is that as soon as jaiden goes.. i feel like i’m the next one gone 

Nicholas

i feel unsafe with jaiden here

Chips

Bryan

Welll Ian never responded to me anyway so he can goooooo. Also I feel really confident for this challenge. I can do little random tasks probably. But honestly all these people are like “o it’s the hero tribe let’s all be happy and teamwork and good ness” and junk like that. Like no. I’m on the hero tribe cuz I’m a hero to myself. This is survivor and I’m not afraid to cut throats and neither are any of them. I see no need to be fake with this pureness junk. 

Akito

Can't wait to lose this challenge like always.

Bryce

Ian going is awk because had kind of being leading on adil dfadskfhdasf but w/e hope we can win this for sure!

Akito

We aren't gonna win this challenge, because there is always gonna be that one tribe member who has the advantage with selfies that are high self-esteemed against others who cant do selfies and has to actually wait for a task that cant do with selfies or the tribe name and all that, unless you want to carry a 16 by 16 large whiteboard with erasable expo marker onto it and try to find the item. Might as well forfeit since we can't win.

Later...

Me leaving that challenge straight away makes me less threatening and I am trying to play UTR pre-merge. I wasn't that active in socializing right now, and there is no flash games so far. If I can keep up this UTR strategy while also working with a few people I can dominate this. I mean leaving the chat either has its moments. Sometimes good things can happen with people leaving, or nothing happens. Whether leaving or not gives me a clue or not at least I can say that I am not a threat at all right now. But the decision to leave was strategic and also helpful since I can't do selfies in time and I know there would be "sacrificial" points and knowing me, I would sacrifice points for advantages or clues to idols. But for me personally I think this was the right move.

Bryce

Oooh this challenge is really looking bad for us I don't think anyone tried other than akito scoring yesterday. But we still got this comeback time!

Later...

Dana and zach are enemies!! Tea drinkers (me) are shaking. I kind of wanted those points but the penalty was vague so i hesitated costing me it yikes hope we win

Jake

Immunity is going swell i love that the hosts werent total dicks and hosted during the night bless their souls but damn bryce has really slayed for heroes (also i happen to know bryce so i hope we both survive to a swap/merge!) Im really loving villians other than jaiden who's probably true to villian nature we actually are nice that said villians tend to backstav n crap as do i so its not like i fully trust these guys! I feel like if we lose that nic or jaiden would be a potential forst boot :o but who knows? Also this is my third confessional so i hafta talk canadian.... These hosers are such a pain in the moose whats that aboot?

Akito

Best Tea: Toph doesn't like our confessions that deal with other things and not game. Point, Blank, and The Period!

Bryce

Im like really  tired... But afraid we will lose if I fall asleep. No one is scoring and we're only in it b/c a villain halfed their score. Ppl seem fine going to tribal which is like... scary

Akito

If we lose this challenge. https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/survivor-org/images/2/2c/Tumblr_mi7amhkwCi1qfgnjvo1_250.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140417215133 I am gonna eat this rock. Because that's how I see it now a days.

Bryan

Luke needs to leave before I mentally collapse at frustration of seeing his name. I’m still not over him getting me out from yesterday 

Later...

Fuucckkkkkk. I really want to take that advantage so bad. I know that a villain has taken the two earlier advantages. I want it to even the odds if merge comes and they have 2 and we have at least 1. But if the heros find out I took it I’m dead. 

Colin

not miss Colin being a messy ass bitch! I want the big advantage, and tbh?? i dont even care if my tribe loses?? like these bitches were making a big deal out of it and wanted to forfeit before the challenge even started, i was the one that insisted we actually compete. This was mostly because i wanted more time to idol search but they dont gotta know that! anyway yeah it's already been said people see me as a more heroic than others on the tribe so I shouldn't worry, I don't think people will immediately thing I took it if I do get it. This tribe is full of messy hoes. any one of them could betray us! Anyway yeah it's time I prove to myself and others i'm truly a villain and I got what it takes to win. If that means giving up a challenge, oh well!! Plus I think I'm close to an idol so there's that. GOD i am anxiety but this is so fun

Christian

Me: was lowkey thinking of taking the personal advantage Logan: [11/21/17, 8:06:05 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): At this point, there is a tribe that cannot catch up. [11/21/17, 8:06:13 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): Results coming soon! lol I hope no one from our tribe took it then. Because if someone did I'll be shocked, just by looking at the people from my tribe. Hopefully a villain did, so we automatically win. Oh and BTW Quillyn and I formed an alliance. We agreed to work together. And Kelsey came to me a few nights ago wanting to be the Oliver to my Connor (how to get away with murder reference; we both bonded over our love for the show).

Senja wins Immunity

Nicholas

i want to make this game fun but the fact that dana/zach migrated to a colony located in jaiden’s rectum makes that very hard im just annoyed because they told me they would vote him out but i know they are going to pull some quirky shit and keep him around and im just annoyed. it makes me not want to put any effort in just yet because being in a game with jaiden is like willingly shoving a whisk in ur eye and scrambling ur brain up

Nic

these people are UGLY where is my mutiny option

Akito

I would of taken that advantage and blame it on adil. Because he was the last target and if I get Jay on board with me we would be the best friends to make it to end. I feel sort of indirectly connected somehow.... Like you know? But I hope we make it through.

Nic

coming into this game, trixie/zach/dana/nicholas are obviously a group. however, ive been talking to nicholas and he feels on the bottom and isn't necessarily loyal to them which i LOVE. he wants jaiden gone and tbh.. so do i the problem is zach and dana dont want him out and wanna vote out liana and jake, thats stupid tho cause theyre not threats and theyre outsiders. plus if we pull in liana, we get chris. so im gonna work with nicholas and come up with a plan so that we get what we want because whover stole that damn advantage is gonna pay

Jake

that immunity completely destroyed me, like i can understand players are in it to win, but seriously taking an L for what could be something minor? yes its a tribe of villains i should have expected this, but urgh >.> im peeved, not because im unsafe but because someone is overplaying, i dont care what it takes im gonna hunt this ass down and target them till they leave

Adil

Am happy that we won the second immunity. I think it has given the tribe a small moral boost which could help us get into this game to win

Kelsey

Well hello! My name is Kelsey Mikaelson, hailing from the Koh Sai state and I didn't die; I have crystallized and now I'm a Glamazon ready for the runway~! I can not tell you, being back here means...the WORLD to me. The premise of this season of Heroes vs Villains and the judges got it right, I am a heroine. But this season for me is about redemption. In Koh Sai, I really felt like a contender, I felt like I could win. Leaving was really tragic for me and this time around, I'm considering this my redemption. I realllllly want to do well, like, I can not TELL you how badly I want to finish what I started in Koh Sai. SO when we lost the first immunity challenge, my LIFE flashed before my eyes. And when I went a whole day without logging on to Skype, #ThatPart, I remember just mentally kicking myself the rest of the day and if it had been me that was eliminated...first? ...I don't even want to go there. I know that if it had been up to us to choose who leaves, Adil's name is the only I've heard. However, I don't want to see Adil leave early in the competition as he lives across the world and I'm usually alive quite late so we can chat about life and things like that. As for the rest of the tribe, I'm happy to see most of them. I quite wish there were less people from my season around...I love them but I don't feel like they're looking out for me, you know? I think the people that I'm meeting for the first time are all more invested in getting to know me. You know what it is, I think the people from my season automatically assume I'm with them. Quill herself asked me who I wanted to vote out for the last tribal and said she'd talk to me later. It's been three days and...where she at? NOT with me, I can tell you that much. The good news is that most everyone has got a niche with me however, something we've bonded over. Jay and I both love Kelly Clarkson, Bryce, Chips and I love RPDR, Christian and I are Connor and Oliver...so I don't feel unsocial which some people say I am. WHAT-ever. I think this immunity is really handy and I definitely appreciate it. I just...I reeeealllly want to do well. In just ONE of these, I want to just do well! And I've never felt closer to snatching the crown than in Koh Sai. So you know what? I deserve to snatch it again! Whatever happens from here on in, I'll make sure to be here for it; I don't want to give it up! So look out for me kittens, I have the mark of a WINNAH! And THAT'S all there is to it! Francie, Jay, Ali Bee; cheers as well! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Colin

I LOVE BEING A MESS. Like the advantage wasn't SUPER amazing but tbh???? it's worth it. Sure, we have to go to tribal, but tribal is fun and tbh? I already have three or four people wanting to work with me so I don't think I'm in any danger tonight. and if I survive tonight, I'm guaranteed at LEAST one more week. I don't think anyone suspects I took the advantage so I'm safe for now. We'll see how tonight plays out!

Trixie

hi im trixie and i want to find that dang idol. 

QuilLynn

So we won immunity wooo! my losing curse is over! Of course we only won, because the villains are villains and someone on that tribe gave us the win for an advantage lol. If I had to guess who took it I would say either zach or trixie lol. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about tribal again! Although I will say our last target, Adil, has been talking a lot more and being more active, which is great, because the reason he was being targeted was because people thought he was semi-inactive. My issue is that its kinda fishy that he's suddenly active, like maybe its just a coincidence, but I can't help but be paranoid and believe that someone warned him that he was the target and that his lack of vocalness was the reason why, and if that is the case then my name could have very well been thrown under the bus. I'm really sad to see that Ian quit the game too, I hope he's doing alright and I wish him the best. I also think I was on the right path to finding the idol, but now I'm curious. I placed a rock into a formation of other stones and something happened, but I don't know what I changed, or where the change took place. I'm thinking my best bet is to retry where I last searched and hopefully something is there. If not its back to square one. 

Jaiden

its really not a game with me if im not causing chaos. i dont really have a lot of will to live in this game so im just doing what i have to do in order to make sure i either go home for being messy as fuck, or i get someone completely innocent voted out. so im picking colin as a perfect target. :) i just feel like colin was the most likely person to take an advantage to possibly screw our game up and if he happens to have an idol, then he can idol me out and i die a happy person. i also kinda want to see how logan reacts when i blatantly target one of his friends and see how quickly i get rigged out LOL theres a group chat i have with nicholas, trixie, dana, zach, and myself and honestly i wanna stay loyal to those people even if it means they end up taking me out because i think it was dumb to cast a friend group in the first place, so why not make it look even worse and help them all win? it'll be a funny outcome. i dont have any faith in myself as a player anymore because even when i do the best i can, it still isn't enough and i end up failing. so yeah there's that. also i cant wait for this confessional to end up in some of ur friends' pms, whoever may be reading this in the google doc. i know how much some of you like to talk mad shit about me so ya !! 

Later...

so im messy and knowing that frickin,, colin gave an idol away, im going to pretend that I GOT AN IDOL but oh no not just ANY idol a SUPER idol :) [1:17:02 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You feel a hand slip into your bag… There is a noticeable lump left in its place when the hand is retracted. [1:17:14 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You dig inside and pull out a small package wrapped in parchment. You untie the thin rope and reveal see a small note. It reads, “Congratulations. Someone from the other tribe has elected to gift you the power of safety. You are now in possession of the SUPER IDOL.” [1:17:28 PM] jAIDEN: WHAT [1:17:31 PM] jAIDEN: THE FUCK [1:17:56 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): However, with great power comes great responsibility. You must play this super idol at tonight’s tribal council, or else it will not contain any power. You may play it on anyone on this tribe and it will cancel all of the votes cast against them. [1:18:07 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): The person who has given it to you will not be revealed, it is up to them to determine whether or not they share that information on a later date. [1:18:54 PM] jAIDEN: umm what [1:19:39 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): Submit a confessional! [1:19:41 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesZ4zMUXURc-fZrS5ne2qdot6i6w6LIYN8CvqsQr-iiu0gvQ/viewform [1:20:23 PM] jAIDEN: THIS IS TEW MUCH LMAO FIOUHDOJ i made fake receipts and everything.

Willa

Whoever took that advantage - your mom's a hoe! 

Zach

I don't know. I'm aligned with a lot of people, practically everyone except i'm really not. I'm probably going home anyway cause i'm inactive and I want to die because I hate every game I play and people are bullshit and the other game I am in stresses me out. I'm sincerely apologetic about my behaviour and actions and inactivity, i'm just dealing with  a lot of bullshit and wig. If I somehow do stay, i'll be more active, I promise.

Later...

Time to be the captain, and turn this ship around and sail it right up Jaiden's asshole and send his little minion packing. ADIOS colin aka i'm leaving tonight catch me on the flipside xx

Colin

GOD so much has happened. So, first things first, I FOUND AN IDOL BITCH YAS. But it was a senja idol. so I put in all that work for someone else's idol. Smh. Anyway I'm not close to anyone on that tribe so I decided to random.org who I gave it to, so hopefully Bryan is nice and would be willing to work with me! AND moving onto tonight's vote. It seems like Jaiden is the easy vote. Cool. It's not me. It's easy. Let's move on. I'm talking to jaiden anyway just in case something happens we have a strong social connection anyway. THEN he and Nicholas tell me he has a super idol. tbh??? if it's true thats iconic as fuck. and I'm  here for it. Jaiden is a huge target and I think I might be able to trust him if he stays. We'll see! Either way this tribal is gonna be way messier than what everyone is leading on. I have no idea whats gonna happen

Nicholas

if jaiden actually has a super idol i am literally going to hunt down all of the hosts and slap you across the face with my laptop

Bryan

Ok so a little update on stuff. I’m starting to really like Kelsey. She’s very nice and she cheered me up on a bad day a couple days ago so I’m grateful to her for that. Also I GOT AN IDOL FROM SOMEONE ON THE OTHER TRIBE!!! I wonder who it was? Maybe it was Zach? I mean he was getting those tasks pretty fast so if this was from the last challenge he might’ve gotten it. Anyways, I’m so happy to have an idol! It makes me feel so much safer. 

Willa

So first of all I was like wow how is Jaiden actually not getting voted off strategic legend bye Colin But now appatnelty even that's too easy!! So we have to vote Jake which is sad cus he's cute n nice Also I literally think everyone in this chat (Zach Dana Nicholas n Trixie) were planning on using me as the decoy vote originally but then decided to use me as a vote against the new n improved decoy Jake. Which is fine if true and if not then I'm a paranoid mess as usual. Hopefully me and my faves survive!!!

Akito

I have no hero instinct....

Nic

so a bunch of shit is happening. jaiden makes an alliance with zach/trixie/dana/nicholas he tells zach that colin and i are voting for zach which is a lie and he tells people he has a super idol. now.. if there was a super idol twist like in survivor HHH, wouldnt it have been given away on round 1? plus if he had it, why would he be going through so much trouble and scrambling? that plus all the other lies he's been spreading around just does NOT add up. ik colin and liana are voting him and i think nicholas and i might as well. i heard jaiden, dana, trixie, and zach are splitting on colin and willa or whomevver sooo Id make this longer but my keyboard is fucking up

Zach

There is so much drama and i'm not even sure what to think... I'm so sorry about lacking confessionals, and if i stay wig

Colin

hi. this is my third confessional today if thats any indication of how FUCKED this tribe is. I'm not good at this villain thing. I'm doing my best. But it sounds like tonight's vote is between me and Jaiden. Jaiden is being a fucking snake and lying to everyone and i'm OVER it. everyone knows I have the advantage now so oh well. Jaiden says he has a super idol but do we REALLY know??? Whatever this is gonna be fun tbh

Dana

WIG so i've had a dramatique day and i'm in a terrible mood, but like everyone is lying(tm) to me. I literally thought about voting out.. everyone on my tribe except Liana, Trixie, and Zach. Umm so I still don't know who i'm voting. Maybe Jake? Who knows ladies! 

Bryce

I am so happy we won immunity btw Like so glad they took the advantage and went to tribal although i did score most of the points so i  think id be safe? still not in any alliances tho so scary. plus idol searching is hard.  I hope there is drama with  their tribe because i live for messiness!!!

Jay

I honestly have no idea whats going on in this game, quillynn is pretty much my only ally so i hope this works out 

Trixie

first tribal ends in a tie? wig. jaiden causing chaos lying he has a super idol? wig. colin admitting to me he took the advantage and caused this whole mess in the first place? BALD

Chips

Alright friends, so a lot has happened. But first I have to say... Call me, beep me, if ya wanna reach me. http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hair_flip10.jpg --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright so here's the breakdown of what I have missed telling about. First off - I was cast on the Heroes tribe because of some things heroic that I have done. Like taking the bullet for other people and giving certain people their first wins in Tumblr Survivor games. You know - instead of winning. https://media1.tenor.com/images/4db0f31d688a839a175ba7eec8441f67/tenor.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joining me on my tribe are... Adil, Akito, Bryan, Bryce, Christian, Jay, Kelsey, QuilLynn, and Ian. That's a lot of people. Like... a lot for one tribe. http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11114/111144096/4096385-8940408663-tumbl.gif So, truth be told I don't know who to reach out to first so I start messaging everyone Hi and get pretty basic answers in the form of "hi" back. So you know, I'm an award-winning conversationalist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Following this, a trend has started to form that includes me not being online when anything is posted in this game. Lowkey I feel like it puts me at a disadvantage and also working the hours that I work at night does the same - so I'm excited for that to fire back and hit me in the face. https://m.popkey.co/a00e06/X1DzG.gif We had to make buffs which is something I've done on my own time but also didn't want to make time to do because I'm super lazy and that's just a trait that I'm trying to embrace. The more slothful I can be the happier I will be. As a side note and one that I feel is important to make Logan finally listened to me about how these sort of creative challenges should be used as reward challenges. It's just the rules of feminism. http://cdn.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/lacey-chabert-as-gretchen-wieners-in-mean-girls-crying.gif There is suggestion about certain drag queens going on our buffs because why not? You know, drag queens deserve to be on buffs because they should get more attention. QuilLynn takes over making the buffs and does a fabulous rendition of Sharon Needles and Phi Phi - in my eyes it's award winning. Two thumbs (or three if you have three hands) up! https://78.media.tumblr.com/85addcf64d03f9643a9634375c59edb4/tumblr_inline_nu8f77qVTs1qkv30z_500.gif Then of course the judges don't have an eye for talent so they give the win to the boring and ugly buffs made by the other tribe. Ooo swirls! Ooo moons! Ooo so inspired. Yawn! So they get an advantage in the upcoming dealy thing (immunity challenge). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next challenge is... SELFIE SCAVENGER HUNT!! And the crowd goes wild. Or at least I do. Honestly it's my favorite thing - I love the excuse to go out into public and freak out random strangers by posing with pictures of random fruits and vegetables, toys, their cars, etc. https://m.popkey.co/f7996f/7z9qk.gif But then of course I have to work all day Saturday and also have stuff to do all day Sunday. So.. I look at the time the thing is due (or at least at this point in time I thought I did... haha I'm dumb) and realize I have a small window to throw things together and perform, etc. I'm super pumped for this challenge because it's my favorite and then I see in the tribe chat thing that we only have less than hour left to go! I'm like... WHAT?! Did I get sucked into some weird time loop and suddenly miss out on a whole hour? Did I do something wrong? So I ask.. and it turns out I should maybe look into going to the optometrist to prescribe me some reading glasses. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/66/2e/46/662e46f6697d55a4435d9c9082983508.gif Our tribe loses the challenge and I take it pretty hard personally because I can easily become one of those self-defeatist types. I realize that it is in large part my fault because I make a habit out of filling out the list of stuffs with pictures that others can't just by being creative or crafty or whatever in my community... and I dropped the ball. Soooo of course I am aware that I will probably be getting the boot and decide to search for the idol, but I'm a #mood or however I'm going to qualify it.. perhaps #funk is better. Hm... and so I decide to not take the hosts options seriously and get myself stranded without climbing equipment ( though arguably I would try climbing and probably break my neck if this weren't in a world with preexisting and written prompts). https://s-i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/279239/slide_279239_2071948_free.gif Then I talk to some of my tribemates about the vote and apologize for being utterly and completely useless. They tell me that it's not big deal and that our tribe actually has a number of people who are existing as dead weight. This makes me feel better about myself because at least they're willing to lie to me about me having more value than others if it's not true. And so they want to target Adil? I think that's his name. Anyway, I'm cool with it because he should be first boot anyway since he chose Ryan from the current season of Survivor as his avatar and that's a huge misstep in someone that I may have or could have ended up allying with. But then, nope! No tribal council! Ian's making the most of his life and withdrew from the game because he didn't want it to take a toll on himself in a negative fashion. I am proud of his decision as this game will likely drive me insane if we have to go back to more tribals. https://media.giphy.com/media/F2WFyAfpfVfFe/giphy.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Immunity two is the one that makes me go into convulsions. The one that keeps me awake at night thinking about what I could have done differently. The one that brings me to tears... it's the one where you have to complete tasks in order to earn points and the tribe with the most earned points gets freedom from tribal council. I know the trick to this challenge! I know that you just don't do anything and let the other tribe waste their time. Honestly, let them suffer. Let them be the one stupid enough to stay up super late and write thousands of words for the sole purpose of stroking the host's massive egos (genitals???). https://media.tenor.com/images/d5a01b967936e2b961e1a0130d2b4650/tenor.gif Because that last task is going to be the one that sweeps all the points off the table and ultimately screws the tribe over! And then of course that happened to those over at the villain tribe... and so they have tribal council and our tribe lives another day!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In summation, I'm still a useless lump of clay to be molded by my fellow players on the hero tribe. I have no alliances. I have no one I trust or am voting with. And I'm not even sure if I was being fed a line of bull poo in the last round about whether they were going to bump me off. I'm hoping to see nicer things (or challenges I can do better??? hahaha like that's a thing) soon! https://media.giphy.com/media/111ebonMs90YLu/200.gif

**Jaiden is voted out in a re-vote, and round 3 begins!**

[invisiblenotbroken]

A Ghost Story For Halloween

“If we are really witches why cant we just fly.” Clement was not happy about what her mother had assured her would be an adventure. Clement did not see adventure in state after state rolling past her window in corn, plain, and flat long blue skies. To punish her mother she had created a game of seeing how many states she could go without speaking to her. This was the first time she had said anything since Idaho.

Her mother looked at her from under her sunglasses, “She speaks. Even my tarot couldn’t have predicted it.”She waited for Clement to speak again. Her knuckles turning pale on the wheel “I only know how to do so many things but the second you learn the flying thing please teach me.”

Clement found a particularly fascinated piece of skin on her thumb. She swooped on it like an owl gnawing until dots of blood could be seen. “I still don’t think we should have had to move.” Her mother’s body became stiff with every bit of her energy focused away from Clement and on the road. “It was only a little thing and no one got hurt.” She remembered Tom’s face when he had stood back up. “Well not really hurt.”

“It’s a new start, for both of us.” Her mother squeezed her knee. A smile started thin and uncertain dying quickly at Clement’s expression. “We only have another state and a half for you to be silent in, make the most of it.”

Clement glared at her. “I told you to stay out of my head.”

“Then don’t think so loud.” Her mother turned on the radio full blast and as usual her mother’s favorite song just happened to be playing. “What are the chances?” Her mother’s voice carried out the window and over the fields. There was nothing left to do but read the book her aunt had left for her, The Grimoire for the Young and Respectable Lady Witch.

The house was perfect. Miles away from anyone and haunted her mother had promised. All sorts of ghosts all sorts of ages. Surely she would find some friends for the Summer, someone who might have been even more angry about being here than she was. Her mother gave her newspaper clippings of all the unsavory incidents that the house had been a stage for. They were dead Clement felt dead inside, they already had things in common.

“Can I have a pet?”

“You don’t need to ask me.”

“Not a familiar but a pet. A regular cat who hunts mice and stuff.”

“Bastet hunts mice.” Bastet stretched and exited the car looking over the house with quiet feline approval.

“You know what I mean.” Bastet stepped on Clement’s foot staring directly into her eyes while she slowly licked her paws clean. Her mother shrugged

“Maybe a frog?” Her mother smiled picking up Bastet and walking into the house.

“That’s not funny.”

“You’re right, it’s hilarious. Last one in has to make dinner. Boil boil toil and trouble.”

“We don't even have a cauldron anymore.”

“True, never enough space for it. We should get one here. Just for appearances sake.”

“Your such a nerd.”

“A nerd who loves you.” Her mom wrapped her arms around Clement  who let herself enjoy it for exactly five seconds.

Clement’s bedroom was at the top of the north stairs over her mother’s room and under her mother’s workroom. No matter where they had lived the workroom was a place Clement had a standing invitation to come and learn the parts of witchcraft that bored her the most. She never came. She preferred her own try and see approach. To be fair this is why they had to move away for a while, after the biology class mishap.

Clement had only meant to reanimate her own frog. She had no idea how all of them got up from their trays and began hopping. Her teacher knew it was her, who else could it possibly be? Poor Tom had fainted dead away turning green and pale. He got a bump on the head from the table. But what could anyone do? To say Clement was weird and strange was one thing but to be able to reanimate a class full of dead frogs, that would be saying she was a witch, and there hadn’t been real witches for hundreds of years. Instead the principal and a very nervous counselor recommended homeschool or a long trip at least for the rest of the school year.

She didn’t mind, not really. High School had been amusing but she hadn’t made any real friends. Her Mother said she was ridiculous Clement was always invited to slumber parties. It just showed how grown ups, even witch grown ups, never know the right questions to ask.

Every slumber party girls who wouldn’t speak to her for anything would suddenly sidle up to her at lunch. They stopped asking if her thermos contained potions. They wanted her for the Oujai board and for games to find out who liked them. Idiots. They had no idea about magic. Real magic. But Clement did and she found ways to amuse herself at the parties. She told the most popular girl in school that she couldn’t see anyone in her future. She made sure she looked at Chelsea with big sorry eyes. A little wet just to sell it. The way Chelsea went on about it you would just know that alone was her least favorite thing. But then again that was Clement’s point. Chelsea’s mother even made an ill advised phone call to her own mother. It ended with a threat about turning her and her pea brained daughter into a toads. She had never liked her mother so much as in that moment.

Now here she was in a haunted house with an entire horizon between her and the next house, completely alone. She grabbed a book on herbology from her mother’s book box and headed out to explore, her head down to avoid seeing her mom’s smile. She would be entirely too pleased about her magical studies.

Hours later inside a room made by an obliging willow Clement sat making faces out of leaves, animating dead bumble bees who made slow confused circles before falling back to the ground, and occasionally reading under half closed eyes. It was going to be a very long few months.

Chpt.2 The Meeting

It took a week before she was ready to play. It was only a few days before she stopped with make up and another day for her mother to stop looking like she might say something about it. The herb book had disappeared in the forest and made its’ way back to her mother’s room. She swore it wasn’t her. It was the best use of Clements’ time and amusement to search the house for possible fairies but the ghosts answered first.

It started out simple and not too scary but that wasn’t the intention. Certain things were tried to see what would frighten Clement the most. Small things, finger nail scratches and light knocks on the door. Almost a hello. Her shoes would appear on the other side of her room and then later would venture to the ice box and once in a fit of what Clement could only call imagination they were hanging by their laces outside her bedroom window on a straggled oak branch. Clement was biding her time. The full moon was coming and she had a few questions. That and she hadn’t spoken to anyone but her mom for a few days.

She waited past midnight. The sky was black except where it was a riot of stars, only the moon was missing. The circle was made of salt cornered with five different stones and five candles. Clement held the sixth with hematite swirling silver in her palm. She was many things but an idiot she was not. Or, she was not dumb enough to make an incautious mistake that her mother could point to.

The candles flickered and the leaves dented in a circle around her.

“Can we stop with the dramatics?” The words were out of Clement’s mouth before she realized they were her mother’s. “I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t know what you are. I just want to know who.” The wind sighed. “I could do research but there’s no WiFi here and the library is a really long walk.”

“Can I come in?” The words were in Clement’s ear and no where else. Clement held the hematite hard. Her foot knocked the salt back. Her hair was half up half down and her sleeves reached the outer edges of the circle. She looked angry in a way that reminded Clement very much of herself. “I’m Emma.”

“Like the book?”

“Don’t mention that book. I just wanted her to get crushed by a carriage.”

“Is that what happened to you?”

“We had a motor car. Don’t you know that’s very rude.”

“Sorry. You wanted my attention. You have it.”

“Did you like the trick with your shoes?”

“It made me come out here.”

“You have hematite.”

“How did you know?”

“My mother never would have let me do this without it. They couldn’t be that different, your mother and mine.”

“Does that mean we’re not so different?”

“You are alive.”

“Sorry.” Clement had no idea why she was sorry but all of the sudden she really was. Her pulse embarrassed her. “I’m here. You don’t want to talk about how you died. What do you want?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to it’s just really personal and I don’t know you. I’ve been alone here a long time.”

“You dont have to worry we’re not here for long. Just until the frog thing blows over.”

“Frog?”

“I reanimated a bunch of frogs in my science class.” The leaves rustled in what could almost be a laugh. The circle grew warm and empty the salt was back in line with the stones.

“You can stay.” The candles burned so much more brightly and Clement sat down suddenly very aware of her heartbeat. She had had encounters with ghosts before but this was very different.

Chpt.

“Did you meet Emma?” Clement’s scarf, candles, and stones tumbled to the floor.

“Were you spying?”

“Spying has such negative connotations. I think of it more like there is no TV and an impromptu seance was much more interesting than my tea. How is she? Did she do the shoe thing?”

“I brought hematite.”

“I would expect so but also not necessary. She’s not harmful just…”

“Disappointed.”

“I hadn’t thought of it before but yes. I think she was. You’re both about the same age. She should be some company for you. Unless you would like to get a pet frog.”

“That was unkind.”

“I am your mother unkind is the bargain we make for me being your mother while you’re a teenager.” Clement leaned her head on her mother’s shoulder.

“Did Grandma take you here?”

“Of course. She wanted me to meet her. I think she was hoping she would tell me how she died.”

“It wasn’t be carriage.”

“I wouldn’t expect so they had a car.”

“God. That’s what she said.” Clement started to walk away.

“Goodnight Poppet. You know I was kidding before about the unkind thing.”

“No you weren’t”

“No, but do you forgive me?”

“Always.” Clement could feel her mother sinking into a chair stirring her tea with her newest cat slinking under her wrist.