#dont want to say anything specific since she will probably see this but . Man.

[lunar-fey]

did i mention yet that i got skerples to start watching cg a couple weeks ago? we're nearing the end of the first half :)

[samandcolbyownme]

This story will get dark and contain things that some readers might find unsettling and/or triggering.  PLEASE DONT READ IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH!!

Summary: Things get a little out of hand as you explore the Missouri Farmhouse with Sam and Colby.

Warnings include: talk of death and suicide, mentions of good and evil spirits, mentions of a brothel, reader being touched, spoken to, and tormented by spirits, mentions of being scratched, pushed, shoved, mentions of blood and puking, Estes method and other things some readers might find unsuitable - please read with caution my lovelies!

Disclaimer: everything in this story is completely off the top of my head, meaning I made it all up and also, y/n has a little thing going on with both Sam and Colby, but nothing is official. Enjoy!

Word count: a little over 16k | NOT edited

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"Yeah, okay. Thanks." Sam nods his head, "Alright. See you in a few days." He hangs up and sits down, "So." He ruffles his hair and looks between you and Colby.

"What's up, man?" Colby leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, "Was that Trevor?"

Sam nods, "Yeah it was."

"Who's Trevor?" You ask looking between them. You could tell something was up, but you didn't know what, "Sam. What's going on?"

"So.. Trevor is the owner of the house we're going to in a few days, and he said that we should rethink about bringing you along."

"Bringing.." Colby points to you, "Y/n along? Why?"

Sam leans back, "I guess having a female there just won't be a good idea according to Trevor."

"Why?" You shake your head slightly and sit up. Sam shrugs, "I guess when other female investigators that went, they left pretty banged up."

You raise your brows, "Well it's a good thing I can handle a few bumps and bruises."

Colby pulls on the corner of your sweater and you look at him. You can tell that he is only concerned for your safety right now, so anything you say will just go in one  ear and right out of the other.

You look back at Sam, "So what? I'm just going to be excluded from this?"

Sam sighs, "Trevor said that it's all up to you. If you want to go, no one will stop you."

"Well I wouldn't say no one." Colby chuckles slightly and looks up at you and Sam staring at him. He quickly covers it up, "She's our best friend Sam. Why would we potentially put her in danger? Especially since the owner of the house is telling us not to bring her?"

"He said it's her choice so I mean-"

You cut Sam off, "Yes. Exactly. And I want to go."

"Have you read up on the place we're going to?" Sam raises his brows and you stare at him, "No.. but I can."

He gets up, "Look, I'm all for you going with us y/n. You're a vital part of the team, you see things we can't sometimes, so of course we want you to go." He sighs, "Just read up on it then decide whether or not you want to still go. I'm going to go make sure we have all the equipment we need."

You watch as he walks away and then you turn to Colby, "why am I getting an irritated vibe from Sam?"

Colby shrugs, "Probably because of what Trevor told him, and because he cares about you." He turns towards you, taking your hand in his, "We don't want to put you in any harms way, okay?"

"Colby." You laugh slightly, "Everywhere I go with you guys, well not everywhere but the investigations specifically.. anything could happen. I've be targeted before. I've been scratched before. I honestly think I've been through it all with you guys."

He smiles and nods, "Yeah, no you're right, I just." He pauses and lets out a sigh, "We just don't want you getting permanently affected by anything."

You nod, squeezing his hand, "How about this.. I'll go read up on the Missouri Farmhouse and then I'll get back to you guys after?"

He smirks and nods, "Okay."

"What's that smirk for?" You tilt your head and he shakes his head, "I just.. I just know that you're going to still want to go even after reading up on it."

You purse your lips together and blink a few times.

"I know you so well." Colby smiles and stands up, "I'm going to go help Sam." You watch as he walks away before reaching forward for your laptop.

The keys clack in the silence as you type in Missouri Farmhouse.

You click on a link with the same image that Colby texted you and your eyebrows raise at the first headline.

Uncovered: Multiple Prostitutes Found Dead, Miles From Missouri Farmhouse

Your eyes scan over the paragraph, Arlon Wheeler has been named leader of the satanic rituals involving the sacrifice of female prostitutes.

"Satanic rituals?" You shake your head, scanning back over the old news article, Arlon Wheeler's wife, Cordelia Wheeler, came front with authorities and confessed to everything her husband and others involved have done.

You click back, trying to find a more recent one, mainly one about people investigating it.

"Oh, yes." You click on a link and your eyes widen at the second headline.

Scratching the Surface: Ghost Investigators Leave Missouri Farmhouse Scratched and Bruised.

You scroll down, eyes widening as you read, 'Yeah, we went in knowing that it could get a little wild, but I honestly didn't think that I would be leaving with five scratches and a few bruises. I partially can't recall what happened after entering the barn, but other than that, I can tell you that if you are a female ghost hunter, please proceed with caution.' Lyvie said. I asked her about the barn and she said, 'Oh yeah.. the barn. That's where the brothel - I guess, took place. Along long with the said rituals.'

A chill is sent down your spine as you sit up, taking in what you just read, but it just seems to get worse and worse.

'With further research, it has been found that Arlon and Cordelia Wheeler would plan for Cordelia to go into town and to pick up naive females and return with them for Arlon Wheeler's sadistic needs.'

You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a sigh.

"That doesn't sound like a sigh of relief." Sam jokes as he sits next to you. He leans over, eyes scanning over your computer, "Mm, I see. Reading up on what you're getting yourself into?" You laugh slightly and look over at him, "Yeah, yeah."

You shake your head, looking back down at your computer, "I just.. That place is full of hatred."

"What do you mean?" Sam leans back against the couch and you point to the screen, "Between Arlon being sold out by his wife to all of those innocent girls being slaughtered for absolutely no reason." You look at Sam, "It's going to be a good video, but at what cost?"

You close your laptop and lean back, "I don't want you guys going in something like that alone." You smirk slightly, "What kind of friend would I be?"

"Friend.." Sam chuckles as he extends his arm over the back of the couch, "I'm just super anxious, because with you being a living female, I just have this weird feeling as to why there's so many reports on other investigators getting injured."

You lean in and rest your head on his shoulder, "Jealousy?" You turn your head to look up at him and he looks down at you, "Oh yeah." You smile, "Why's that, Sam?"

You can see his cheeks turning red as he tries to keep his composure, "Because.. As a pretty girl walking into something like that I-"

Colby cuts him off as he walks down the steps, "I'm looking at plane tickets. How many do I need?"

You sit up, looking from Colby to Sam. He smirks and holds up three fingers, "Three."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

""What's up guys.. It's Sam and Colby." Colby motions to the empty spot where Sam should be. He looks at the camera again and sighs, "What's up guys. It's Colby Brock, And today, we are currently at the airport, waiting to board our flight to Missouri." He tilts his head, giving a confused look, "Now, you're probably wondering, guys why are you at the airport waiting to go to Missouri? Well, we'll tell you."

Sam moves into frame and gives an awkward stare into the camera, "Hi." You laugh quietly, shaking your head as they continue the intro for the video.

"Sam, do you want to tell the people why we're going to Missouri?" Colby motions towards the camera and Sam looks at Colby, leaning in to mumble, "Why are we going to Missouri?"

You and Colby laugh at Sam and he sighs, "We are heading to a massively haunted farmhouse there. It is known for leaving a, figurative and literal mark on the people that go there to investigate."

"We're super nervous about this, considering what Sam says, I will be majorly surprised if we all make it out unscathed." Colby grabs the camera, turning it around on you, "We also have the very risk taking y/n here for this trip."

You smile and wave to the camera, "Nice intro for me, Colby." You laugh and he turns the camera around on himself, "I thought it was pretty bad ass, but okay." He laughs, "See you guys on the plane." He lays his hand on the lense and turns the camera off.

Sam sits down next to you, "Is anyone else actually kind of excited about this?"

You look over at him, "I'm half and half."

He leans forward, and you both look at Colby, "What about you?" Colby leans forward and shrugs, "I'm.. here." He laughs and you nod, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Hey, you cou-"

You cut Sam off, "I didn't want to stay home." He raises his hands, "Alright." He laughs, making you smile. He shake his head, "We couldn't get you to stay home even if we tied you to-"

"Oh my gosh!" A girl squeals, inconveniently cutting Sam off, "Are you guys really Sam and Colby? Like is this happening right now?"

Sam points to himself, "Yeah, I'm Colby and that's Sam." He points to Colby and Colby waves with a smile, "Yeah, my hair is a little darker than usual."

You smile and look up at the girl. Her jaw drops, "Oh my g- You're y/n! Are you guys making a video right now?"

You're shocked that she knows who you are, because you don't really get recognized much, "Yeah." You laugh slightly, "It's me." You glance over at Sam and he nods, "Yeah, were actually heading to Missouri right now to shoot a video."

All the girl can do is smile, "That's so freaking cool. Can I get a picture with all of you, please?"

You all agree and stand up as she finds someone to take the picture. You stand next to Colby as the girl stands between him and Sam. Colby wraps his arm around your waist, fingers gently rubbing your side as the stranger takes a few pictures.

"Thank you so much. oh my god, I can't wait to show my friends." She looks up from her phone, "They love you guys so much, they're going to freak."

"Thank you for stopping!" Colby smiles and gives the girl a hug, same with Sam, "Be on the lookout for this video. It's something you're not going to want to miss."

She nods, "I won't I promise." She looks at you, "Can I get a picture with you?" You look from her to Sam and back to her, "Of course, yes." She hands her phone to Sam and moves to stand next to you so Sam can take a few photos.

"Thank you so much, have a good flight!" She waves as she walks away and you turn to look at Colby, "Did that just happen?" He nods with a smile, "It sure did."

"Have you ever gotten stopped like that?" Sam asks as you all sit back down. You shake your head, "Nope. But I love it." You laugh slightly and Colby stands up, "I'm going to go get a drink, do you need anything?" You look over him and shake your head, "I have my water."

He motions to Sam, and Sam nods, "Just get me what you get."

You watch Colbt walk away before looking at Sam, "So what were you saying before all of that?"

He smirks and shakes his head, "About what?"

You smile and sigh, "oh you know, about me not staying home no matter what you did?" He laughs and sighs, "oh that.. Yeah, I was just saying how even if we tied you up at home you'd still find a way to come with." He leans in, "But something tells me that if we were to do that, no one would be going anywhere."

You sit up straight as his words send an intrigued shiver down your spine. You smile and look over at him, "This isn't some sort of I better say what i want now incase we don't make it back kind of thing is it?"

He laughs at your tease and shrugs, "I mean.. if it was.. I wouldn't say that and I definitely wouldn't be saying it here." He looks up as Colby walks back over, reaching up to take his drink.

Colby sits down next to you and sighs, "So what are we talking about over here?"

"Oh you know.." You look over at him, "Sam was just confessing his unprofound love for me, no biggie." You look at Sam and right before he can say anything, your flight is announced over the speakers.

"Oh look at that, perfect timing." Sam smirks and stands up. You look over at Colby and stand up, "Ready to fly into some spook-tacular fun?"

He laughs and points to you as he stands up, "You are definitely saying that on camera."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

The plane ride was quick, considering you fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. You woke up on the shoulder of a sleeping Sam.

"Morning sleepy head." Colby whispers with a smile. You wipe the little amount of drool from the corner of your mouth and smile, "Isn't it like four p.m?" He laughs and nods, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

The flight attendant annouces that you'll be landing shortly so you reach over to nudge Sam, "Hey.. Hey.. Sam. Samuel. Samuel John.." You look at Colby and back to Sam, "Samuel John Golbach."

You laugh slightly, "If you don't wake up, Colby will have no choice but to kiss you."

Colby leans forward, "What now?!"

"I'd like it better.." Sam sits up straight and looks at you, "If you kissed me instead."

You smirk, looking away to hide the blush growing on your cheeks and Colby holds his hand up, "Whoa. I think it'll be fair if she just kisses us both."

"You would like that wouldn't you?" You smirk at him and he nods, "Very much so." You lean back in your seat, the anxiety of going to that house tomorrow sets in.

The news articles flash in your mind, images of the the scratches and bruises people have received slip into the mix as well.

You didn't know your leg was bouncing a mile a minute until Sam lays a hand on your knee, "You good?" He asks with a slight laugh and you look over at him, "Yeah, I just got to thinking about the house."

Sam wants to suggest you staying at the hotel, but he and Colby both know that that isn't going to happen.

"I'm just.. what you told me about what Trevor said, it's just circling in my mind and I mean, maybe.." you shrug,"..I'm having second thoughts but I just can't let you guys go alone."

Sam smiles slightly and nods, "No, I know what you mean."

You all get up and get off the plane, making your way to the baggage claim. You yawn, laying a hand over your mouth, "Thank god we don't have to go until tomorrow."

You walk up, picking up your suitcase. Sam and Colby follow behind you, "Yeah, we all need to rest up before going there." Sam says, looking at Colby, "Do you want me to film or you?"

Colby shrugs, "Doesn't matter to me." Sam nods and you follow him over to a bench before he pulls out the camera, "Well guys. We have landed here in Missouri. Going to head to the hotel now and that's where we'll give you the rundown about everything that's going on tomorrow night."

"Colby, y/n." Sam turns the camera to face you guys, "How are we feeling?"

"Tired." You say with a laugh, "And kinda nervous, because we're only a few hours away from the house and I'm just.." you shrug, "Anticipating the scariness of it, I guess."

Colby nods, pointing his thumb towards you, "Exactly what she said." He laughs and nods, "But I'm ready."

Sam turns the camera back to himself and points, "See you guys in a few." Sam turns the camera off, putting it back in his backpack, "Alright, let's get to the hotel."

You make your way to the car that they rented and throw your stuff in the trunk. You get in and shut the door, waiting as they get in.

"So how far from the house will we he once we reach the hotel?" You lean over and look forward in between them.

"Um.." Colby thinks, "About an hour and a half, two with traffic maybe?"

You nod, "okay." You get on your phone, typing in the house you're going to into the search bar again. You click on a link you haven't looked at yet and rest your head against the headrest as you bring your phone up to read.

We got in contact with a group of ghost hunters to talk about their experiences at The Missouri Farmhouse. One said, 'Yeah, I was walking towards the barn and all of a sudden I was on the ground, almost like something came barreling behind me and I was in the way.'

Another said, 'I was standing on the porch of the home, just looking out over the dark cornfields when I felt something wet on my back and my shirt was kind of sticking to me. We went in the summer so I thought maybe it was just sweat - I was wrong. I had my friend shine her light on my back as I lifted up my shirt and I still can't get the way she gasped in shock out of my mind. I had two scratches going down my back and what I was feeling wasn't sweat - it was blood. My blood. I left right then and there and I don't plan on ever going back.'

"This person said that they were scratched so bad that blood was drawn." You look up and Sam and Colby both glance back at you, "I'm reading more on the house, and everything I'm seeing just gets worse."

"It's not going to be an easy night. That's for sure." Sam shakes his head as he comes to a stop at the red light, "We have to go in with a positive mindset, because if we go in with negative one, all we're going to get is a negative reaction."

Colby nods, "That's why I'm super thankful we came a day early. Just so we can rest up and really prepare ourselves for this."

You go back to reading.

'What would you say to anyone who plans on going to see the house for themselves? Would you try to persuade them from going?'

'Personally..' Darion starts, "..I wouldn't necessarily try to persuade anyone from going, because at the end of the day, if they really want to go, they're going to go. So what I'd say, is go in there with an open mind. Don't expect the worst right off the bat because if you do, you'll get the worse right off the bat. Treat the ground you walk on with as much respect as you humanly can and don't, don't underestimate the spirits that are trapped in that house - especially the barn.'

You lock your phone and look out the window. You don't really say much because of not only being tired, but because you're really thinking about whether or not you want to go.

You wanted to go, of course, but you didn't want to put the burden of being worried about onto Sam and Colby, considering they'll already be worried about each other.

You reach the hotel and make your way inside to check in before going up to the room. You sit down on the bed and fall back, "Finally."

Colby laughs, sitting down and falling back onto the bed next to you, "Tell me about it."

Sam sits down on the other bed and falls back, "So who's sleeping where?"

"I could honestly fall asleep right here." Colby laughs slightly. You nod, "Same." Sam sits up and goes to his backpack, "I forgot. We have to do the backstory stuff."

Colby sits up, "Oh shit, that's right." He gets up, moving over to the other bed, right in front of where Sam set the camera up.

You heave yourself forward with a groan and stand up slowly. You walk over, moving onto the bed behind them.

Sam looks back at you, "You can lay down if you want."

You shake your head, "I'm good."

Colby laughs and looks at you, "You just want to say that spook-tacular line don't you?" You roll your eyes as you laugh, looking at him with a serious look, "Maybe."

He laughs and looks forward as Sam gets the camera on. Sam sighs, "we made it to the hotel." He motions around before clapping his hands together, "We are about an hour and a half, two hours give or take, away from the Missouri Farmhouse."

He motions towards Colby and Colby takes over, "So the Missouri Farmhouse was known for a few things. One thing being that it was owned by two of the richest people in this town at the time, Arlon and Cordelia Wheeler. Second thing, the barn right behind the house."

Sam looks from Colby to you, "Y/n, you were reading up on it on the way here, why don't you fill everyone in?"

You nod, slightly shifting to face the camera, "So over the last few days and even today, I've been reading different articles pertaining to the house itself and the barn." You pull up your phone, unlocking it, "The barn is where a brothel was held for a few years. Multiple people from this town, and even family members to both Arlon and Cordelia, would come and pay��them to engage in sexual activity with, as the article stated, naive prostitutes that Cordelia would pick up from town and bring back."

You look at Sam and he smirks slightly, "Keep going."

You smile and shake your head, "Not only did the sexual activity take place, but the same prostitutes would then be sacrificed to bring good fortune to the very greedy couple, and to also try and bring a miracle, or whatever of fertility onto Cordelia."

"Oh yeah, they didn't have any children." Colby snaps and looks at Sam, "I read that they tried multiple times, but nothing worked so I think it was a cousin, maybe, of Cordelia who was big into secretly doing witchcraft, that told her about the human sacrifice thing and yeah."

"So it was the cousin of Cordelia that started it all?" Sam asks and Colby nods, "I'd say so. Because what I was reading, they convinced her, promised her safety after she made a deal with the devil I guess and that's when they started sacrificing everyone, but I don't know how they could have saved her from everything."

Colby shrugs, "Bottom line, this place isn't going to be like any other place we've stepped foot into before."

"Oh!" You snap your fingers, "I also read some other investigator's personal experiences and the one got shoved, knock over on to the ground hard and the other one I read, she had two.. not one, but two scratches on her back.. and they were bleeding."

"I just hope that we leave with our skin in tact." Sam rubs his arms and Colby looks over at him, "I think I would rather leave unpossessed or something of that matter."

He laughs and Sam nods, "Yeah." He laughs, "You have a point with that one." He claps his hands, "Let's just hope that we all leave the same way we go in."

Colby and you nod and he looks back at you, "Anything else you want to add in?"

You stare at him and sigh, "We'll see you tomorrow on this spook-tacular adventure."

Sam and Colby cheer and Sam reaches up to turn off the camera, "That was great. I love that." He looks back at you and you laugh, "alright. I'm going for a shower."

You grab stuff from your suitcase and walk into the bathroom.

Once you're done, you come out to both Sam and Colby asleep on the same bed in positions they probably were expecting to fall asleep in.

You pull out your phone, recording as you walk over to them, "This is how I found them when I came out from the bathroom."

You zoom in on Sam, "I don't know how that's comfortable." You move over to Colby and quietly laugh, "again, I don't even know how that's comfortable."

You stop recording and tap Sam's knee, "Hey." He opens his eyes and smiles up at you, "Hey." You laugh and motion to his position, "How is that comfortable?"

He sits up, almost falling off the bed completely, "I honestly don't even know." He looks over at Colby, "Is he kneeling on the floor?"

You nod, drying your hair with the towel, "That he is." You toss the towel onto the floor and walk over to Colby, "Hey, Colbs." You tap his shoulder and he snorts, "Huh?"

You smile, "I think lying in the bed will be more comfortable.." you laughs slightly, "Better for your knees."

He laughs as he pushes himself back from the bed, "You would know."

Your jaw drops, "Hey now. I've never fell asleep like that." He glances up at you, a smirk comfortable on his lips, "Wasn't talking about that."

You roll your eyes, "Keep it up and you won't know." You make a face at him, smiling as he shakes his head, "Don't say that."

You hold your hands up, "Sorry." You go to walk to the other bed but Sam stops you, "whatcha doin'?"

"Going to bed." You point and pull the covers back. Sam pouts, "All alone?"

You smile at him and glance at Colby, "what? Are you scared or something?"

"Oh yeah, don't you see me shaking in my boots?" Colby pretends to shake and you laugh, "Fine. You've convinced me enough."

Sam grabs your hand and pulls you over him, laying you in the middle between him and Colby.

This wasn't anything new to you guys. You shared toddler beds as kids and it just stuck. You knew the moment you came to live with them that you liked them both.

They both seem to like you, and even though nothing is official, it just works for you guys.

Almost like a well oiled machine with no labels, all three of you just know.

"Goodnight." You roll onto your side and Sam turns the light beside the bed off, "Goodnight." He lays down next to you, laying his arm over your waist.

"Goodnight." Colby turns his light off and lays down facing you. He lays a hand on your hip and with them next to you, it doesn't take long for you to fall asleep at all.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You hear talking, but you try to ignore it as you don't really want to get up yet.

"Today is the day we go to the Missouri Farmhouse."

Your eyes snap open the instant those words leave Colby's lips. You lift your head, slowly looking around before sitting up.

"Oh, look. She's finally awake." Sam jokes and you cover your face with a pillow, "No." you groan, "I'm not ready."

Sam goes back to talking as you sneak away to get ready for the day. After a little bit you come back out and see Sam and Colby sitting on the bed talking.

"You still up for today?" Colby looks at you and you nod, "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" You set your bag down and walk over, sitting in the chair across from them.

"Just making sure." He smiles and you nod, "I mean, I'm nervous, but I'm trying to shake that away."

"It's normal to be nervous, especially when investigating something like this." Sam starts, "You just need to go in there with knowing that you're in charge of yourself."

You let out a breath, "I'm just.." you shake your head, "When do we have to meet Trevor?"

"He said he'll meet us at noon, but if you want we can go get something to eat." Sam suggests and you nod, "Yes. Please, I'm starving."

You make your way out to the car, debating on whether or not you should tell them about the dream you had last night.

You didn't want to freak them out, but at the same time, it felt so real, like you need to tell them.

"Hey, so.." you start out, laughing slightly when Colby looks at you, "I had a weird dream last night, and I debated on not telling you but it was something about the house."

"The house?" Colby questions and you nod, "Yeah, the farmhouse."

"Do you mind if I record this?" Sam asks holding the camera up and you shake your head, "No because it might be a good thing if you do."

You wait for Sam to do his intro, "We are currently on our way to get something to eat before going to meet, Trevor. He's the owner of the Missouri Farmhouse, but first, y/n here told us that she had a dream about the house so I'm just going to let her take it away."

He turns the camera back to you and you sigh, "Okay, so first off I don't even remember falling asleep so that's kind of weird because usually I do, you know what I mean?"

Sam and Colby both nod and you nod back, "Okay, so once the dream started, it was us, standing on the front porch of the house, it's nighttime mind you."

"Extra creepy." Sam laughs and you nod, "Oh yeah. Definitely. So we go in, and for what ever reason, Colby wanted to split up and I just had this absolute gut feeling that we shouldn't. So I kept telling him no, Colby. No we can't split up and he like got, I don't even want to say mad because it was worse than that."

"Almost like something took over him?" Sam asks and you hear Colby whine from the drivers seat, "Why me!?"

You shrug as Sam puts the camera back on you, "That's what I'm saying, like you were told that you were intimidating to the ghosts, and Sam.. well.." you laugh and he moves the camera to frown into it.

"Anyway, so we stick together, but there's all these shadow things moving around and at this point in the dream, I've had enough I want to go home, I'm clinging to Sam.." you see his lips form into a smirk and you try not to smile, ".. screaming to let me go let me go."

You point to Sam, "You, Sam, You're just looking around, watching these things fly and move around us and then all of a sudden everything goes dark, it feels like you're pulled away from me. I'm pushed backwards, and then I woke up. I don't know what time I woke up, but you guys were still asleep and it was still dark out."

Colby glances back at you in the rearview, giving you a why didn't you wake us up? look.

You frown slightly and sigh, "So I don't know if that has anything to do with what we're about to experience or what but it kinda has me shaking a little bit."

"I honestly don't even know what to say to that." Sam laughs slightly, "We wanted to record that just in case anything like that happens tonight at the actual farmhouse, so."

Sam turns the camera to Colby, "Click that like button if you think it will happen and hit that subscribe button if you think it won't." Colby smirks and winks into the camera and Sam smiles as he nods his head, "I see what you did there. Nice."

You laugh and lean back against the seat, your dream replaying in your mind over and over again as you make your way to the restaurant.

After lunch, you guys head to meet Trevor and Colby starts recording as Sam takes a turn driving.

"We are now on our way to meet up with Trevor. He's going to give us the whole run down." Sam looks over at the camera and back to the road, "My hands are sweaty. I'm actually getting more anxious the closer we get to going to the house, you know?"

"No, man. I know what you mean." Colby laughs and nods. You lean over, "We can just pull up to it, you know. Snap a few pictures then leave, I mean we can still say we seen it, right?" You laugh nervously and sigh, "Fuck. I cannot believe we're doing this."

"Well, believe it. We're here." Sam pulls into a driveway and Colby leans forward, "This doesn't look like the Missouri Farmhouse."

Sam starts laughing, "That's because this is Trevor's house, you fuckin' dummy."

You lay your hand over your mouth and Colby sighs as he nods, "Yeah.." He looks down at the camera and nods, "Okay." He turns it off and looks at Sam, "Thanks for embarrassing me, Sam."

"You did that yourself." Sam laughs and gets out, opening your door for you, "Ready?" You look up at him as he shuts the door, "Yeah. Let's go get some more horrific information." Colby walks around the car and stands next to you, "Did he say if it's alright to record this?"

Sam shakes his head, "I'm going to ask him."

You follow them to the door and Sam knocks. A few seconds later, the door opens and what you assume, Trevor smiles, "Hey, Sam?" He holds his hand out to Sam and he takes it, "Yes sir, I'm Sam." He points to Colby, "That's Colby."

"Hey, how are you?" Colby shakes his hand and steps out of the way as he motions to you, "This is y/n." You step up and shake his hand, "Hi. How are you?"

Trevor nods, "I'm good." He smiles, "I'm good. Please.." He steps out of the way and motions for you all to come in. You walk in, followed by the boys and Trevor closes the door, "So what do you want to know?"

"Oh before we start, do you mind if we film this for our video?" Sam holds up the camera and Trevor shakes his head, "Not a problem at all, whatever you need." He takes you guys into his dining room and Sam sets up the camera so you're all in frame.

"These look.. old." Colby reaches out and slides a paper over towards him, "What are these names?" He looks up at Trevor and Trevor sits down, "So this right here." He points to the paper in front of Colby, "We think these are the names of the prostitutes that were taken to the house."

"Like the ones that were sacrificed?" You lean over and look at the paper. Trevor nods, "Yes. We think this was kept by Cordelia as a way for her to have leverage over Arlon."

"Almost like blackmail?" Sam asks as he looks up and Trevor nods, "Exactly. Now these.." He opens a manilla folder and slides papers next to each other, "Lean in and read this. Tell me what you think it is."

All of you lean in, eyes scanning over the semi blurred words that read;

By signing this, you have gradually acquiesced to the demands of our leader, A.W. You must now obey order. If orders are not obeyed, there will be acts of retribution.

A.W. C.W

"Was this like a contract or something? Something that the women were, I'm assuming, forced to sign so they couldn't run and tell the truth about what was happening?" You ask as you look up at him.

Trevor nods, leaning back in his seat, "Precisely."

"Its such a short contract." Colby shakes his head, "But it actually worked? Like it was a valid thing?" Trevor shrugs, "I don't think there was such thing as a notary back then, but with enough people believing in Arlon, I'm sure that didn't make much of a difference."

"Can we take a picture of this name list? Just so we know who to try and talk to?" Colby taps his finger next to the paper and Trevor nods, "Oh yeah, of course. Take a picture of it all if you'd like."

Colby works on taking pictures while you and Sam talk to Trevor, "Can you tell us about any personal experiences that you or anyone else close to you have had?" Sam asks resting his elbows on the table.

Trevor blows out air, "Gosh, I don't even know where to start." He chuckles and you sit up more, "What about the girl that got scratched so bad she bled?"

Trevor's eyes widen as he nods, "Oh shit. Yeah. The panic in her voice when I got the call about them leaving, was not a call I wanted to receive at two a.m."

You nod, "Oh I can imagine. I was reading up on the house over the last few days, and some of the stuff I've read is just.. horrifying."

Trevor nods, "They're not exaggerating it at all, either. The barn, that's where everything was held for a majority of its time. That is where most of the crazy shit happens."

He shuffles through the folder and slides over a blown up picture of a wooden beam sticking straight up out of the ground, "My brothers and I were working on patching up some of the holes in the roof of the barn one day when I suddenly got this really bad, dizzy feeling. I stepped, maybe three steps, and that beam fell straight down onto the exact spot I was standing."

You all look at Trevor in shock and he nods, "Another time, I was in the house looking around to see what we could really remodel. I was standing on the stairs and it honestly felt like someone was trying to throw me over the banister."

"What the hell." Colby shakes his head, holding up hid pointer finger, "Note to self. don't stand too close to the stairs banister."

You and Sam laugh and Trevor nods, "Another don't you should follow." He looks between the three of you, "If you go into Arlon and the wife's room, don't let the door close on you."

"I know.. I'm probably going to regret asking this.." Sam sighs, "Why?"

"I've never had it happen to me, I even went there to see for myself, but I've had multiple reports about some crazy shit happening if you let the door close. For instance." He sits forward, "Someone called me and told me that their hearing.." He puts air quotes, "Stopped working."

"Oh shit." Colby shakes his head, "Almost like they isolated them." Trevor nods, "Yeah, they also said that they've heard things being screamed into their ear. They could never tell me what they heard. Every time they thought about it, it was on the tip of their tongue but they just couldn't ever say it."

"Now that is really freaking weird." Sam shivers, "I have the goosebumps just thinking about that, like being the only one in a room, a dark room at that, and just having something scream shit into your ear that you definitely make out, but you forget about it even though you know it? Does that make sense?"

You nod, "That would drive me absolutely insane." You lean back, stretching your arms out behind you.

"Did you get pictures of everything?" Sam asks Colby and he nods, "Yes, I did. I'll send them to both of you, just in case something happens to my phone." He sends out the pictures to you and Colby and you swipe through them as they finish up talking.

"Thank you so much for meeting with us." Colby holds his hand out to shake Trevor's hand again, "We truly appreciate all the information." Trevor shakes his hand then moves onto Sam's, "Not a problem at all. Again, call if you need anything and just be cautious around and in the barn if you do go in. You never know what can happen."

You nod and walk over to the door with them, "Wait." You turn to Trevor, "You told Sam on the phone that I shouldn't come? Why is that?"

"I found that the females that come to the house are targeted the most, probably out of the dead being jealous of the living." Trevor opens the door, "Just be extra careful, sweetheart. The pretty ones get more attention."

"Oh.. Okay. Thanks." You look from Trevor and Sam and Colby are both staring at you, "Again. Thank you for the information." Colby walks out, stopping to wait for you.

Trevor hands Sam the key, "This will open the front door. Call if you need anything."

"Thank you." Sam grabs the key, "I'll be sure to let you know how it goes." He lays a hand on your back as you walk in front of him.

"Good luck." Trevor yells before closing the door.

You get in the car after Sam open's your door, "He was fine up until the very end. I didn't like that." Colby looks back at you, "I don't think he meant it in the way that we took it, bu-"

Sam cuts him off, "I still didn't like it."

You laugh slightly, "It's fine. We have something bigger to worry about now." You take a deep breath, "The Missouri Farmhouse."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Stop here so we can get a shot of the entrance." Colby points and you lean around, "That's actually very fucking creepy."

Colby nods, "I know, all of the trees and then just this dirt, gravel road." he rolls his window down and holds the camera out, recording as Sam drive onto the long driveway.

Your heart drops into your stomach as the house comes into view.

"There she be." Sam says and you shake your head, "I already don't like this." You laugh nervously and Colby puts the camera on you, "You nervous or something?"

You roll your eyes and clear your throat, "What? Me? No. Not at all." You look at him serious, "Yeah, very much actually."

Colby laughs and turns the camera to Sam, "Well, brother. Now that were here.. how are you feeling?" Sam parks and takes a deep breath, "I honestly don't know." He laughs and looks over, "Y/n's dream kind of has me freaked out."

"Tell me about it." You run a hand through your hair, staring at the house as Colby records it, "Well, guys. This is .. The Missouri Farmhouse."

"We are going to get our things together and we will take you guys on a tour before it gets dark out, just so you can all see how old this house really is." Sam looks into the camera and Colby tilts his head, "You mean to show them how creepy this place actually is?"

Sam nods, "Same thing." He laughs as he turns the car off. Colby shuts the camera off and gets out, opening your door for you. You move at a slow pace, not rushing to get inside. You slip on your jacket, "How cold is it supposed to get?"

"I believe low forties." Sam says as he pops the trunk. You nod as you pull the hood from your sweatshirt out of the back of your jacket. Colby walks up next to you, "You ready?"

"As I can be." You smile up at him and he lays a hand on your hip, "At anytime-"

"You tell me this every time I do an investigation with you guys, and you know that if I absolutely cannot handle it anymore, I'll tell you." You smirk as he smiles and nods, "Just like to remind you."

"I appreciate that." You smile and turn to look at Sam, "So were just going to do a walk through?" He nods, "Yeah, I figured that with it still being daylight, we can get footage of how everything looks normal because I honestly feel everything is going to intensify when the sun goes down."

Colby puts his jacket on and sighs, "Ready?"

You and Sam look at him with a nod, "Ready."

Sam starts rolling, "Alright guys. So we are on our way into the house. This is what it looks like on the outside." Sam turns the camera around, panning it over the huge farmhouse standing before you.

You walk up to the door and Sam hands Colby the camera as he pulls the key from his pocket. He slips the key into the old looking lock and turns it, "Alright." Sam looks back as the door cracks open, "We're in."

"No going back now." Colby chuckles and hands the camera back to Sam so he can walk in first. You follow, Colby right behind you.

You trip on the step and fall into Sam, "I tripped." You announce quickly, "Sorry."

"You okay?" He turns around, laying a hand on your side and you nod, laughing slightly, "Yeah. I'm good." You look away from Sam, eyes scanning over the house.

Sam pans the camera around, "It's so old, yet so beautiful."

"Whoa, look at this." Colby walks over and Sam follows him. Colby points to a portrait on the wall, it's old and kind of ripped, "I think this is Arlon and Cordelia."

As Sam and Colby are talking about the portrait, you get this unsettling feeling that you're being watching, "Guys.." your voice is almost inaudible.

You reach out, tapping Colby's arm and he turns around, "Did you just- what's wrong?"

"Something is watching us." You swallow and turn around.

A shadow moves from the top corner of the doorway and you point, "That door. There was something in the top corner."

"Oh fuck." Sam walks in front of you, camera pointed at the door, "what did it look like?" He looks back at you and you shrug, "It was just a shadow, like a head shaped shadow."

"Jesus Christ." Colby shakes his head, "So we won't be going that way." He laughs and points the other way. You nod, "Yeah, that room.. gives me a bad feeling."

"What kind of feeling?" Sam looks at you and you take a breath, "Dark, evil kind of feeling."

Sam and Colby just stare at you for a second, "Okay." Sam says breaking the silence, "Moving away from that room."

You walk down the hall, staying as close as you can to them while holding your arms around yourself. Sam and Colby explain some backstory while you can't help but continuously look around like someone else is there.

"So there's what? Two three floors to this?" Colby asks.

"Three, but the third is the attic, but I guess it's huge." Sam answers. He looks over at you, "What's going on?"

You shake your head, "It doesn't feel like we're alone. Like don't you feel that weird feeling like someone is standing like right.." you wave your hand up and down behind Sam, "Here."

Sam turns around as Colby walks over, standing right where you motioned to, "Here you said?"

You nod and Colby looks at Sam, "I don't feel-" he moves back, "Whoa." He looks around quick and moves to stand next to you, "swear to god something just pushed me."

"We saw it." Sam looks from you to Colby, "Are you okay?" You lay your hand on his arm, "You were pushed backwards, so whatever that was, it was between us."

"Fuck." Colby shakes his head, "Do you still feel like someone else is here?"

You take a deep breath, shaking your head, "No. it vanished right as you got pushed."

"You moved next to y/n. What if they think that we're trying to -" Sam puts air quotes, "-protect her?" He shrugs, "I mean, we were told that they'll go after her more because she's a girl and the spirits can have some sort of jealousy towards her."

You shiver slightly, "That just send a chill down my spine, Sam. That's honestly so bizarre to hear out loud."

You snap your head to the left, eyes focused on the staircase, "shh." You hold your hand out, frozen for a second until you look at Sam, "There was walking, like heavy footsteps on the stairs."

There's a sudden loud thump only a few feet away from you that causes you all to jump and yell out, "Oh shit."

"What the fuck!?"

"Goddammit."

It happens again, and this time you jump towards Colby, grabbing onto his arm as you look at Sam, "What the hell was that?"

He shrugs, "I don't know but we should keep moving." He nods towards the hall and you and Colby follow him, making sure to stay extra close to them.

They continue talking about the place, making sure to give you reassuring glances every so often as you explore the rest of the house.

Soon enough, you're face to face with the barn.

"I mean.." Colby starts out as he takes the camera from Sam, "It doesn't really look all the scary in the daylight."

Sam laughs slightly, "It looks, kind of pretty with the light shining down through the beams."

You get dizzy, and it happens quick.

"Oh god." You mumble as you hold your head. Sam is right next to you, arm around your waist and you lean into him.

"What's going on?" Colby asks confused and you feel Sam shrug. You take a deep breath, slowly lifting your head, "I got, really dizzy."

Sam looks up at Colby and back to you, "Are you still dizzy?" You can tell there's concern in his voice, "Do you need to sit down?"

You shake your head, blinking a few times, "No. I think I'm okay." You brush hair from your face, eyes moving past Colby to look into the death filled barn, "That's not a good place."

Colby turns around, pointing the camera at the entrance, "If you wouldn't know anything about this place, it honestly looks like a normal barn that was abandoned, you know?"

Sam nods, arm still around you, "I'm actually kind of scared for when the sun goes down."

Colby nods, "I'm sure we're all feeling that way." He looks at you then to Sam, "I'm going to walk up, get a shot of the inside, you guys stay here."

"Colby." Sam warns, "I wouldn't."

"Yeah, don't go up there alone, please." You practically beg. Colby shrugs, "I'll be fine, I'll just run up and run back."

You tighten your grip on Sam's jacket as you watch Colby walk up towards the barn. You were preparing yourself to run and help him.

You had to be on your toes while here, this place is so unpredictable.

"Yo Colby." Sam yells, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I got it." Colby yells back, "Coming."

Your eyes are focused on Colby as he walks towards you and Sam, glancing behind him every so often. He wants up, pointing his thumb behind him, "It sounded like someone, you know those loft spaces in a barn where they store the hay?"

You and Sam nod and Colby looks back before continuing, "It sounded like someone was up there, scuffling around."

"That's not surprising. That's the most active spot out of everything." Sam shakes his head, "alright. So I'm thinking we go get something to eat, calm our nerves and really prepare for what we're going to be facing tonight."

Colby nods, "That's a good idea." His head snaps towards the house, "There's no fucking way."

"What?" Sam takes the camera, "What happened?"

You stay close to Sam, looking to where Colby is staring, "Did you hear something?"

"It sounded like someone yelled back here in the distance, like they were telling someone to get back here? You know what I mean?" He looks at Sam, "We're the only ones out here right?"

"We should be." Sam pans the camera around the old farm, "Take one last look, because when we get back. Everything will be engulfed with darkness."

"Isn't it already?" Colby asks, "With the spirits and all of that?"

Sam sighs, "I mean. Yeah, I guess. But I was trying to make it thrilling." He pouts and shuts the camera off as you and Colby laugh.

"Let's go take a minute." Sam lays his hand on your lower back, "We can go over the plan of where we want to start and where we want to end while we wait for the sun to go down."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

After dinner, you're in the car heading back to the farmhouse and you can't shake the nervous feeling.

All of the news articles pop back up into your head, flipping through like pages in a book.

"Y/n?" Colby's voice makes you jump, "Fuck." You laugh slightly, "Sorry. I was thinking about everything I read."

"Yeah, us too." Colby looks to Sam and back to you, "If things go south, we're getting out of there. No questions asked, no it'll be good content, nothing."

You nod, "Deal."

"If you at anytime don't feel like you can do it anymore.." Sam starts, "Same for you Colby, we're done."

Colby nods and you sit up, "I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that that girl had blood drawn."

"Spirits are powerful things, y/n. If they don't like you, they'll make it known." Colby quickly sighs, "Sorry. I wasn't thinking. I know that's probably something you don't want to hear after-"

"No, Colby." You lay your hand on his shoulder, "You're fine. I'm fine. We're all going to be fine."

You lean back, taking a deep breath as you see a familiar sign that lets you know you're almost to the beginning of the dirt road.

"We're almost there." Sam says, "Do you want to get the camera out Colby? We need to get a shot of this." He motions to the windshield, and you look out at the dark road that's only lit by the headlights of the car.

"Oh fuck me." You breathe out, laying a hand on your forehead, "This is sketchy as hell."

"I'm going to stop and turn the lights off." Sam comes to a slow stop, looking over at Colby, "Ready?"

Colby nods, "Rolling." He points the camera forward and Sam flicks the lights off, leaving the three of you in total darkness.

"Oh m- that is fucking scary." Colby laughs, "What the hell."

"Now imagine I turn the lights on and there's something just sta-"

"Sam!" You yell, tapping his shoulder, "Don't say that!" You laugh, "I'm already peeing my pants back here."

"Are you really?" Sam teases. Even thought you can't see him, you can tell he turns around and you scoff, "No, not really."

He flicks the lights back on and thankfully there's nothing there. You let out a sigh of relief as Sam starts driving again.

Sam and Colby go back and forth about the darkness, laughing and joking like they normally do. You weren't sure if it was your dream keeping a tight hold on you, or the fact that you're a girl going to this no girls allowed club, or what.

But you were scared, and you knew that you had to pretend that you weren't and it was going to be hard.

"Alright." Sam taps the wheel, "We meet again."

"The sun going down has definitely amplified the creepiness by a thousand times." Colby adds, "I have goosebumps."

Your eyes stay on the house and you squint, "Did you guys light that candle when we were in there?"

"What?" Colby turns around and Sam comes to a stop, "I didn't light anything."

You look back up at the house and the light you thought you seen wasn't there anymore, "It's not.. maybe it was just the headlights."

"I wouldn't be surprised if anything was on in there, so maybe you did see something lit." Sam assures you, "Let's get everything ready and take final minute before going in."

Colby shuts the camera off and gets out with Sam. You sit there for a moment before Sam opens your door, leaning down to look at you, "You okay?"

You turn your head to look at him, "Yeah. Yeah. Just taking a minute for myself." You slide over, swinging your legs out, "I'm ready."

You look up at Sam and he grips your chin, "That's our girl." He winks and helps you get out, closing your door behind you.

You walk around, grabbing your backpack from the trunk. You make sure you have everything that you planned on taking, along with the boys.

"I'm good." Sam says zipping up his backpack.

Colby nods, swinging his around to put his arms through the straps, "Me too."

"Yep. Let's go." You put your backpack on and step back so Colby can shut the trunk. He sets the camera on top and turns it on.

He back up, standing on the other side of you, "We are here."

"It's dark." Sam adds before Colby picks up, "It's finally time to explore the famous Missouri Farmhouse."

You look around, nothing but the light from the camera illuminating the short distance around you.

"Did you hear something?" Sam looks at you and you look at him, "No. I'm just looking around." You laugh and look at the camera.

"So we came up with a game plan of where we want to go first, and where we want to go last." Sam claps his hands together, "We all agreed that the barn is the last place we want to go, so stay tuned for that and we'll see you in a second."

Colby walks up, cutting the camera, "alright. Let's head up."

As you walk up to the house, you look behind you, squinting at the sight of a possible figure standing still at the back of the car.

You blink and it's gone.

You shake your head, looking forward as you're met with the farmhouse door. You look up, turning to look out into the darkness.

Colby opens the door and walks on, Sam lays a hand on your back, nudging you slightly so you walk in.

I'm not scared, you think, mind over matter. I'm not scared.

The camera light shines on the dark interior and Colby bumping into you causes you to jump, "Colby!" You yell quietly with a laugh.

"Sorry. Sorry." He laughs and lays a hand on your shoulder. Sam spins around, pointing the camera on you and him, "should we bring out the Epoch box?"

"Yes. That's a good start." Colby says, "Do you have it or do I?"

"I think you do." He points to Colby and Colby nods, "Okay." He pulls his backpack off and you wrap your arms around yourself, feeling a chill creep down between the multiple layers of clothing.

You let out a sigh, stepping closer to Sam.

"You alright?" He whispers looking over at you. You nod, "Just cold. I got a chill standing over there."

"I'll get this thing going." Colby stands up, walking over to the small end table, "So this is called the Epoch box. It isn't motion censored, but it's similar to the Ovilus as it uses a sophisticated algorithm to read the environment and converts the energy into yes or no responses."

"I'm Sam, these are my friends Colby and y/n. We're here to ask some questions and with those we come in peace. We mean absolutely no harm to anyone here so if it's okay with you.." he pauses, looking between you and Colby, "Can we ask you some questions?"

The box flickers a few times before lighting up green for a few seconds then stops.

"Okay. Is Arlon here with us?" Sam keeps the camera on the box as you all wait.

The box lights up red for a few seconds before shutting off. It flickers before going dark and you sigh, "I'm y/n. I mean no harm to anyone here." You step forward, "Is this Cordelia?"

The box flickers before lighting up green for a few seconds.

"So it's her." You look at Sam and then to Colby and he nods. He looks down at the box and furrows his brows, "Sam."

"What?" Sam walks over, making sure you go with him, "did it just turn off?" Sam looks up at Colby with a shocked expression.

Colby lifts it, "That says on, right?"

"So it.. what? Died?" Sam asks confused, "what the fuck?"

A loud thump makes you jump and you look behind you. It catches Sam and Colby's attention too because they turn after you, "What was that?" Colby whispers, "Sounded like a-"

Thump!

"That." You point, "That sounds-"

Thump! Thump!

"Okay." Sam sighs, "Lets move to the den area." Sam lays his hand on your back and turns back to Colby, "Just switch it off. Maybe we can get it to work somewhere else."

Colby nods, picking it up, "You said the den area?" Sam nods and Colby pulls out his phone. Sam looks at you and you look at him, shrugging before both looking back to Colby.

He holds his phone up, "I knew I remember seeing something about a den. Look." He shows you and Sam his phone and you nod, "so he had favorites."

"Looks like it to me." Sam says as he shows the camera Colby's phone, "Hold on, I'm trying not to get a gla- oh here we go."

Colby puts his phone in his pocket and sighs, "So. To the den we go?"

"The den we go." Sam nods before you all walk towards the end of the hall. Colby opens the door, announcing that it's you guys before walking in.

You get a weird feeling, almost like you're uncomfortable.

You shift around, pulling down your sweatshirt and jacket, "This room feels.. uncomfortable." You look at them, "Like I think I can tell what happened here just by how I'm feeling."

"If he had favorites, I'm sure we can all figure out what happened in this room." Colby points to you, "Do you want to leave? Are you okay?"

You shake your head, "No, I think I'll be fine. Do you have any names?" Colby pulls his phone back out and nods, "Edith Macentire, Daisy Lovell, Lydia?" he zooms in and shakes his head, "I can't read the last one."

"I'll get out the REM pod." Sam hands the camera to Colby before swinging his backpack off. He gets out the pod and looks around, "I'm not going to put it by the door, I'll put it.." he walks over to the small stand that's in front of the window and sets it down.

"Hello, I'm Sam. Just want to ask you a few questions, I mean no harm. I just want to try and figure out what happened in here." He gently claps his hands together, "there's a light on that pod there, if you get close enough to it, a light will flash. If you want to answer any questions, all you have to do is just make that light up, okay?"

A few minutes goes by before the light turns on.

"Okay. Is this Edith Macentire?" Sam keeps his eyes on the pod, "Just touch it once for yes or-"

The light flashes once time and turns off. Sam looks back at you and Colby, "Edith, did bad things happen in this room?"

The pod lights up one time and you move your hand to tap Colby, "don't we have a spirit box?" He nods, "Yeah." You look at Sam and back to Colby, "I think we should use it. I just feel like we need it right now."

"Okay." Colby nods, "I think it's in your bag." Sam walks up behind you and the REM pod goes off constantly.

Sam leans out from behind you, "What the fuck." Colby shrugs, looking back at him, "I don't know, man." Colby keeps the camera on the pod as Sam walks over, "I'm going to shut this off." Sam grabs the REM pod and holds it in his arm as he sets the little radio box on the stand, "You will be able to tell us things through this."

Sam step back, taking the camera from Colby so he can move up, "I'm Colby, I mean absolutely no harm, neither do my friends. Can you tell us what happened in this room?"

The static sounds for a few minutes, "..Man.."

"Man?" Colby questions, "Are you talking about Arlon?"

"..Evil!.."

"Arlon was an evil man." Sam shakes his head, "Are we still talking to Edith?" The static plays in the silence for a minute longer, "..Lydia.."

"Lydia. Can you tell us what the evil man did?" Colby rests his fingers on his chin as he watches the box, "..he said.. wouldn't die.."

"Did he tell them that they wouldn't die?" Sam whispers and you nod, "I think that's what she means. Maybe he promised them a good life since he was-"

Your words are cut short by the box, ".. he wants you.."

Your eyes go wide and your heart sinks into your stomach, "Huh?" Colby looks at you, Sam, then back to the box, "Who wants who, Lydia?"

You can feel your heart starting to race and it feels like something is creeping up behind you. You glance behind you, seeing nothing as you move closer to Sam.

Sam looks down at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder as he holds the camera on Colby. Colby shake his head, "I think she's gone."

Instantly after Colby stops talking, "..run!"

You feel a gently tug on your jacket before it feels like a yank and you're pulled from Sam, both of you yelling at the same time. He grabs your arm pulling you back to him as Colby comes over, "What the fuck just happened?"

You cling to Sam as he hands the camera to Colby. Colby keeps the camera pointed down, "Sam wh-"

"..I told you.."

Colby walks over, shutting off the box, "Okay that's enough for now." He walks back over, camera still down at your guy's feet , "Are you okay?"

You keep your head pressed against Sam's chest, "When it said he wants you.. I got this feeling that there was something, I don't know." You sigh, "Creeping up behind me and then right after run was said, I got yanked backwards."

"I don't.." Colby shakes his head, letting out a sigh, "I don't want to say anything, but I know we're all thinking it.."

"He wants her." Sam says nodding down to you. Colby nods, "Mhm." You lift your head from Sam's chest and sigh as you try not to laugh, "This is insane."

Sam takes the camera back and you walk towards Colby, taking a deep breath, "Okay. Where to next?"

Colby smiles slightly and shakes his head, "You want to keep going?" You nod, "I'm not tapping out yet."

"We hit two of three places down here, I don't really want to go into that room she saw the shadow figure in. Not at night, gives me a very bad feeling." Sam says and you nod, "So, upstairs then?"

"I think we should go into Arlon and Cordelia's room." Colby raises his brows and you nod, "Just please don't let the door shut."

You make your way out of the den and into the hallway. Colby shuts the door and you all freeze as you hear something in the hallway.

You wait a few seconds before starting to walk, "So.." Colby says to the camera, "We are currently making our way up to the bedroom that housed the ring leaders to this whole shabang."

You laugh slightly, "Shabang." Sam smirks and Colby rolls his eyes as he chuckles.

Each creek of the stairs is unsettling to you. You're jumpy, really jumpy. So every little sound causes your body to feel like you're going to jump out of your skin.

"Alright." Sam breathes out, "We have reached Arlon and Cordelia's humble abode." He takes a deep breath, "We should find something heavy to put in front of the door so that way if it moves we can hear it."

Colby reaches for the handle, looking between you and Sam, "Ready?" You and Sam both nod and you walk up behind Colby as he pushes the door open slowly, "Okay. I don't see any-"

Something falls right into the door way and you gasp while jumping back. Sam groans, "Jesus Christ." Colby squeezes his eyes shut and open them, "I may have peed a little bit."

You look down and step towards Sam, "Oh gross."

"I didn't.. actually.." Colby sighs and shakes his head, "Let's just go in." Colby steps in and turns around, "The atmosphere in here is.. different."

You walk in and look at Colby, "You're right." Sam follows you and looks around, "That's actually super fucking crazy."

Colby keeps his hand on the door while you look for something kind of heavy, "Would this work? If we just pull this over in front of it?" You point to a small table and he shrugs, "I can stay by the door just in case."

You push the small table over, freezing as you hear footsteps in the hall.

"Did those come from up here or down there?" Sam whispers and Colby shrugs, shaking his head, "I-I don't-"

What sounds like running in the hall causes you and Sam to move by Colby. Sam leans forward, aiming the camera into the darkened passage, "I don't see any-"

"Did that just move?" You say cutting Sam off as you point to the bed, "The blanket. Wasn't that tucked up by the pillows nice and neat when we came in?"

"I have no idea, I didn't really look." Sam says, "It could have-" he tells jumping slightly, "Fuck."

"What what what!?" Colby yells quickly, "you good?!"

Sam nods, "Yeah, just something like drug up the back of my leg."

"Do you feel like you're scratched?" You take the camera from him and he just stands there staring at the ground, "Sam." You snap your fingers and lean in to look at his face, "Sam. Hey."

He blinks as you wave your hand in front of his face and looks up at you, "No. I'm good."

You look at Colby and Colby shakes his head, "Where'd you go man?" He looks at Colby confused, "What do you mean? I've been right here."

You slowly shake your head, gasping loudly when you see something in the slightly dusty mirror, "Oh my god. The mirror." You aim the camera at it, the light from the camera reflecting off, "A woman, was just standing there."

"Cordelia?" Colby asks and you shrug as you look to Sam, "You with us?" You reach out, wrapping your hand around his wrist.

He slides his hand into yours and squeezes it, "Yeah, no. I just. I'm dizzy. Like really dizzy."

Colby lays a hand on your back, "Let's get out of this room." You hand Colby the camera as you guide Sam out. He walks over to the wall, resting his back against it and you look back at Colby, watching as he closes the door.

"Hey, you alright?" Colby asks walking up, "Did you see anything when you spaced out?"

Sam shakes his head, "No, I just couldn't look up from the floor." He runs a hand over his face, "I could hear you calling for me, but I just-"

"Frozen." You say and he nods, "Literally, yeah. That. I didn't hear anything other than you and Colby." You step towards him and lay your hand on his shoulder.

He tilts his head back, resting it against the glass, "I'm not dizzy anymore."

"Well that's good." Colby sighs, "do you need a water or anything?" Sam shakes his head, moving to stand up straight, "No, I'm alright."

You glance to Colby and he nods, "Let's take a minute. It's been a lot for all of us right now."

"No let's just keep going." Sam insists, "I'm fine."

Colby nods and you sigh quietly, "Okay. Where to next?" Sam points down the hall, "Arlon gave Cordelia an office like room to keep things organized, I guess. We can do that then we can go outside for a minute."

"Whatever you want to do, Sam." Colby says and Sam nods, "I'm good." He smiles, "I promise."

You nod, following him down the hall to one of the doors, "Okay, so." Sam points to the door and Colby shows it to the camera as Sam continues to speak, "This is where all of the information they could get about each prostitute was kept. Cordelia, Arlon's wife was in charge of getting them to come back here."

"Do you think she talked them up wherever she found them or kind of did like an interview situation?" You look from Sam to Colby and Colby points, "That's actually a really good point, we can get the spirit box or something out and ask."

"We can try the Epoch box again. See if downstairs was just a bad spot for it." Sam says before reaching for the doorknob, "it's just us again."

He steps in and turns around, making sure you're behind him. Colby follows and pans the camera around the room, "It really is like an old timey office."

"Look, this is that same list of names, do you think this is the original?" You move over to the desk, looking at the old looking piece of paper. Sam walks over and check it out, "This might be a copy? I mean, it looks pretty real to be a copy, so I don't know."

Colby moves over, shining the light from the camera over the page so you can see it better, "I wouldn't mess with it, you know just, to be on the safe side."

You nod and hold your hand up, "Do you hear that?" Sam and Colby look to you before turning towards the open door.

The sound of a door opening and shutting echos through the hallway.

"What door is that?" Colby whispers and Sam shrugs, "Could it be the bedroom?" Colby walks over, peaking out as he aims the camera.

He leans back in quickly and exhales, "Holy fucking shit." He looks to you and Sam, "Holy. Fucking shit."

"Did you see something?" Sam asks, "Colby. What did you see?"

"The door, to the bedroom, was cracked open and a shadow came up the steps and went into the room then it shut." Colby's breath is shaky.

"No fucking way." Sam lays a hand on his mouth, "Are you serious?" Colby nods, "Swear to fucking god, Sam. I'm not shitting you, it- here." He hands Sam the camera and reenacts what he saw, "It came up the steps like this, slow. Then just turned like this.." he turns his body, "And then just went into the room."

"Jesus Christ." Sam sighs and you lay your hand on your forehead. You feel like you're sweating, "Do you guys, feel.. hot?"

Sam turns to you, "Are you- what's going on?" He feels your forehead, "Colby, she's sweating."

"How? It's like forty degrees outside." He walks over to the other side of you and you lean against him, "I think we need to take a break." 

"Yeah. I agree." Sam nods, taking the camera from Colby before Colby wraps his arm around your waist, "Come on." He walks over to the door, looking out before rounding the corner with you.

The only light you have is from the camera that Sam has behind you. He pulls his phone out, switching on his flashlight as you reach the steps.

"Careful." Sam says as you and Colby step onto the first one. These steps were old, so you had to go up and down with care.

You reach the bottom as just as you are about to make it to the front door, it feels like something grabs your arm and tries to pull you away from Colby.

A faint, "Stay.." is whispered as you pull your arm back.

"Something just grabbed me and told me to stay. It was super quiet." You grip Colby's jacket and he opens the door, "You're good. We got you." 

He walks you outside and Sam shuts the door behind him with a loud, "Holy fuck."

"Yeah. Yeah." Colby nods as he walks you over to the car, "Here." He opens the door, "Sit for a second."

You sit down and let out a sigh, "Sam, are you okay?" You look up at him and he walks over to you, "Yes, sweetheart. I'm fine."

You smile slightly and nod, "Okay." He brushes hair from your face, "Are you?" You nod and he turns to Colby, "Are you okay?"

Colby nods, "Yeah." He shakes his head, "Maybe we should do a recap before anything else." Sam nods, looking back at you, "Stay here."

"You don't have to worry about that." You laugh slightly, watching as Sam walks to the back of the car. You rest your head against the seat, listening to them talk to the camera.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You stand up, slinging the back pack over your shoulder, "I know it wasn't really in the plan, but I think we should do the Estes method in between the barn and the house."

Colby looks between you and Sam, "Do you think that that's really a good idea?"

Sam puts his backpack on, moving his hood out, "I mean, it can't hurt to try. Two of us will be able to see and hear."

Colby shakes his head, "I don't know. This place just makes me nervous for something like that." Sam nods, "No I understand, but I was honestly going to say something about doing that too."

Colby chews on his cheek for a few seconds, "Who ever does it, has to be prepared, that's all I'm saying." Sam sighs, "Yeah, Colby. I know."

This place was doing something to them.

To all of you.

Tensions are usually never this high. You knew you all wanted to do this for the video, but you also knew that you all didn't really want to be there anymore.

"Let's just.." Colby sighs and you cut in, getting out of the car, "Let's just take it one step at a time because we really don't know what is going to happen."

"She's right." Sam says, we can just go back, maybe set up flashlights? I don't know where but we can try that?"

Colby nods, "Yeah." He grabs the camera, "Come on." He switches the camera on as you start to walk back towards the house.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You all stop, looking at each other before the sound of something tapping against the glass catching your attention  again, tap. Tap. Tap.

"Okay.. that's freaky." Sam laughs slightly, "What window is it?" You shrug, "It sounds close." Your eyes scan over the windows that are lit up by the camera light.

You point to the middle window, "The curtains moved in that one." Colby steps towards the window, holding up the camera to see inside when all of a sudden he jumps back after a loud thump on the glass scares him.

"What the fuck!" He yells stepping back, "That was literally right fucking there."

"There's no way that wasn't on video. Holy shit." Sam walks up to the window and looks in, "I don't.. see.. anything.."

He shakes his head and looks back at you, "Lets go around to the back." You and Colby follow him as you walk around to the back.

Colby shines the camera over towards the bar, "There it is." He shivers slightly, "Just looking at it sends a shiver down my spine."

"So what do we want to do?" Sam asks as he looks between you and Colby. You shrug, "I'm all for doing the Estes method."

Sam nods and looks at Colby, "Colby?"

Colby sighs, "I guess we can do that, but who-"

"I'll do it." You raise your hand and they both just look at you with a solid look. Sam sighs, "We can all do it. Take turns."

"I'll go first." Colby says handing Sam the camera. Sam looks at him, "You sure?" Colby nods, swinging his back pack off, "Yeah."

You look at Sam and back to Colby, watching as he digs in his bag to pull out a bandana and the equipment.

You had an eerie feeling creeping in again, maybe it was just your nerves about doing this method with the barn right there.

"Okay. So are we thinking like right in the middle?" Colby asks and Sam reaches out, pointing to a specific spot, "Yeah I'm thinking something like right in here. It looks about halfway."

Colby sets his bag on the ground and sits down next to it. He takes a deep breath, "Okay." He wraps the bandana around his eyes and ties it behind his head.

Sam sets the camera down on top of his backpack, angling it so you're all in frame as you sit on either side of Colby.

Sam leans over, showing the camera how loud the static plays through the headphones. He hands them to Colby, "Here you go."

Colby takes them and puts them on, shaking his head slightly as he gets used to them, "Pain."

You look at Sam with your eyes wide, "What the fuck."

Sam shrugs, "I know you were and still are in a lot of pain. Can you tell my friend, Colby here who is talking to us."

Your eyes move to Colby as he tilts his head, "Why?"

"Are you asking us why we're here?" You ask and Colby answers, "Yes, why?"

"We're here to figure out what to the women Cordelia brought back to this farmhouse." Sam says and Colby taps his knee with his hand, "There was like.. a scream?"

"Who are we talking to?" Sam asks looking around, "Are we talking to one of the girls?"

"In the barn." Colby says, "He wants.. you in the barn."

"Who wants us in the barn?" You ask, "Does Arlon want us to come into the barn?"

"not all." Colby states, "Just one."

Sam points to you and you shake your head, "I'm not going in there alone. I'm not."

"Yes. You are."

As soon as the words leave Colby's lips, the hood on your sweatshirt is pulled back and you slam your hands behind you to catch yourself as you let out a scream, "What the fuck?"

Sam taps Colby and Colby pushes the headphones off, "Right before you tapped me, there was a deep, manly like laugh."

"Right after you said yes you are, she got pulled backwards." Sam looks over at you, "Are you okay?"

You nod, "Yeah." You sigh, "Yeah. That just, I let my guard down for a second." You run a hand through your hair and move closer to Colby, "That barn just.." you glance back at it and your eyes focus on the dark inside.

You can't tell if your brain is playing tricks, or if you actually see things moving.

You look away, trying to focus on Sam filling in Colby on what you and him asked, but you just can't seem to stay focused.

You rest your elbows on your knees, holding your face in your hands.

You feel Colby's hand on your shoulder, but you just can't acknowledge it. You take a deep breath and manage to lift your head, "I just.. couldn't get focused there for a second."

"You good now? What happened?" Sam asks and you nod, "I looked at the barn and I just couldn't look away. It's like I was supposed to be looking at that and only that. So I just rested my head down until the feeling went away."

"Fuck." Sam whispers as he looks to the left, "That place is more powerful than people think."

"Here." You take the bandana from Colby, "I'll go."

He lets you take it, "Are you sure?" You nod as you untie it, "Yes." You wrap the bandana around your head, completely blocking your vision. You take a shaky breath as you feel Colby lay the headphones in your hand.

"Whenever you're ready." He assures and you nod before putting them on, static completely drowning out everything else.

Sam takes a deep breathe, "Can you tell us who we're talking to?"

"Sam." You straighten your back as his name rolls off your tongue, "Colby?"

"What do you want with y/n?" Colby asks, eyes glued to you, "Why do you want her?"

You try and keep your breathing under control as you do your best to listen, "You can't have her."

"No." Sam says sternly, "You're the one who can't have her. She isn't yours to touch or have, just like the innocent women that you killed years ago."

You tighten your hands into fists, "They weren't good."

"Why weren't they good? Can you tell us what was bad about them?" Colby asks as he looks around, "Arlon. Can you tell us why?"

You listen few seconds, "Arlon. He's here. It's him. Help."

Colby takes a deep breath, "Should we pull her out?" Sam shakes his head, "Not yet. Arlon, why are they so scared of you?"

You tilt your head, "Bad things happened. He did it."

"We know he did bad things. We know it was him. Can y-" Sam stops talking as you cut him off.

You speak normally, "It's almost like they're arguing with him."

Sam looks at Colby, "Arguing? Like one do the girls and Arlon?" Colby shrugs, "Can you tell us why he killed those women?" Colby pauses for second, "Why did he kill you?"

Words are shouted loudly in your ear, "He says he had to."

"Was it the cult he ran? Can you tell us about that?" Sam asks, watching you.

You shake your head, " He wanted to."

Sam and Colby look at each other, "Did Cordelia bring you to the house?" Sam runs a hand through his hair, glancing at the camera before snapping his head back to you.

"You don't love her."

"who? Who are you talking about?" Colby asks, "Who doesn't love who?"

"Sam. Colby." You pause for a second, "Y/n."

"Holy shit." Sam sighs, "Why do you want y/n?"

"Mine."

"Not a chance." Colby says looking at Sam, "I'm going to tap her leg."

"Mine. No!"

"Colby. Her hair." Sam points to your hair that's lifting off your shoulder and Colby taps your leg a few times, kinda rough.

You jump as you feel the tapping and you push the headphones off before ripping the bandana off of your head, "Okay. What the fuck?"

Sam has a shocked look on his face and Colby lays a hand on your back, "Did you not feel your hair lifting up?"

You shake your head, "Um. No." You run your hand down over your hair, "I was only focused on the arguing I was hearing, what were you guys asking?"

They fill you in and you raise your brows, "So it makes sense as to why it sounded like it was arguing." You shake your head, "That's.. actually kind of scary, not going to lie."

"I don't think you going any closer to the barn is a good idea." Colby says, "I don't want to risk you getting hurt or anything."

You nod, "No I agree. I don't even like looking at it." You look to the barn and away, shaking your head as you close your eyes, "Anyway. Sam. Are you doing this?"

Sam nods, "Yeah. Yeah." He takes the headphones, sitting down in the same spot you and Colby sat. He ties the blindfold around his head and takes a deep breath before putting on the headphones.

Instantly, his words are loud, "Help.."

"What do you need help with?" Colby asks as he sits down next to him, "Who is asking for help?"

You freeze, eyes moving from Sam to Colby as soon as Sam just starts listing off names non stop, "Kathleen, April, Eloise, Bethany, Rita, Liza, Sarah, Taylor.."

"Are you the girls Arlon sacrificed?" You ask and Sam responds instantly, "Yes, he's evil."

"Is he with us right now?" Colby asks and Sam tilts his head, "He went out."

"Where did he go?" Colby asks, and you'rere frozen with fear as you see a black shadow figure move a little being Colby, "C-Colby."

"Outside." Sam says and Colby looks at you, "Where outside?" He looks back at Sam, "Is he with us?"

Sam doesn't say anything for a few minutes.

You reach over, tapping Colby's leg, "there was a shadow figure behind you." He turns around quickly and looks back at you, "Where?"

"It was like a foot or so back from you. I don't know, I just seen it and then it was gone." You wrap your arms around your tighter, "Mayne we sho-"

"No." Sam says, "Don't go."

"Why?" You ask, "Why do you want us to stay?"

"You know."  Sam says and you shake your head, "we're not staying." You go to tap Sam's leg but it's almost like something grabs your wrist to prevent you from disturbing him.

"I can't.." you try to pull your hand away but it's like stuck there, "Colby."

"They can't help you." Sam says and then he rips the headphones off, throwing them away from him. He pushes the blindfold up and your hand drops, "Fucking no. No fucking way."

"Are you okay?" Colby grabs your hand and your hand goes to wrap around it, "My wrist is burning." Sam crawls forward, grabbing the flashlight from his bag. He shines the light on your skin and you all become shocked when you see finger marks on your wrist.

"I went to tap Sam, get him out of it, and something grabbed my wrist, I couldn't move until Sam threw off the headphones." You explain, pulling your wrist to your chest.

"No, we're done. We're leaving." Colby stands up, grabbing his backpack and it sounds like something heavy falls in the barn, causing all of you to move back a little bit.

"What was that?" Sam asks quietly and you all just stare at the dark opening of the barn, "I don't know and I really don't want to find out." Colby walks over to you, helping you stand up, "We can come back in the daytime, try something then."

"Yeah, right. Okay." Sam gets up, bending down to grab the camera after slinging his backpack on. You start to walk around the way you came, a lot slower than normal, just to be cautious if there was anyone else there.

"Right before I threw the headphones off, it was a loud, clear as day, man voice yelling death like three times in a row, like boom boom boom." Sam explains, "Ive never.. had that happen." He lays a hand on his chest, looking over at you.

He reaches out, grabbing your wrist to inspect it, "Is it still burning?" You shake your head, "No. thankfully."

"Alright. I haven't heard any-" Colby stops talking and instantly switches the light to the camera off when the sound of branches breaking sounds from the woods next to you.

"Should we call out? What if it is people?" Colby whispers leaning in to you and Sam. Sam wraps an arm around you as you huddle next to him, "We should just go."

"we're going, but like.." Colby sighs, "I think we should acknowledge that we hear it, them, you know what I mean?"

"I get what you're saying but like.." Sam pauses and there's a bang on the window, causing you all to jump and move away from the house, "we can just try to make it to the car?"

"Okay." Colby whispers, "Stay close together."

You move along the house more, your grip tightening into Sam's jacket as you see the car in view. Colby stops, "Should we just book it?"

"Yeah, but at least turn the light on." Sam says and Colby switches the light on, but it suddenly goes back out. He tries switching it on a few times, "It's not.. turning back on."

"Fuck, okay." Sam digs into his sweatshirt pocket, pulling out a flashlight. He switches it on and it stays on, "Okay. Lets go."

His arm stays around you as you guys start for the car. Sam's grip is suddenly ripped away from you when he falls to the ground with a groan.

"Sam!" You yell, turning around to go down to him, "Are you okay? What happened?"

Sam gets up as quick as he can, "I tripped or what tripped?" He shakes his head, "Let's just get-"

The door slamming shut on the front door of the farm house causes him to snap his head towards it, "Get in the car."

Colby reaches for the door handle, pulling on it a few times, "Keys. Keys. Keys."

"I thought you had them." Sam yells quietly as he pats his pockets, "Shit." You check your pockets frantically, hoping that some miracle will happen and one of you will find them.

"Backpacks. Check the backpacks." Colby drops his bag to the ground and sets the camera down before digging in his.

You and Sam do the same and you shake your head, "I checked each pocket." You sigh, "What the fuck."

"You didn't drop them in the house did you?" Sam asks as you grab the flash light. You shine it around the car and point with a slightly loud, "Ah ha. There! There."

"How did they get under-" Colby reaches under the car, pulling them out, "The fucking car?"

"We can talk about it when we get in, just unlock it." Sam says as he throws his stuff back into the backpack.

Colby unlocks it, causing the lights to flash. You all rip open the doors and get in, shutting them with a slam.

"Fuck that." Sam says.

"I honestly can't believe we stayed that long." Colby sighs, "What the fuck is that place?"

You take a few deep breathes, trying to remind yourself that you're in the car now. You're safe.

"Okay. Let's just.. Go back to the hotel and we can figure out everything there." Sam turns around to look at you, "You good? You okay?"

You nod, "Yeah. Yeah. I'm good." He nods and turns back around, buckling up as Colby starts to drive, "I just want to know if people were there. That was fucking weird."

"That whole place is fucking weird. You have to be out of your mind to go there at night." Sam pauses before laughing slightly.

You and Colby join in laughing. The feeling of relief settles in the further you drive down the gravel driveway.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I'm sorry that it's so long but if you made it to this point, I truly appreciate you so much. Thank you for reading.

I figured this was a good place to stop. When the time comes, I’m thinking of doing a part 2 where they investigate the barn during the day? What is think?

Love you so much 🖤

[beddybites]

Tengen's wives often get pretty neglected by the Fandom. So, I wish to give them some love. All 3 of them, definitely, hold a lot of personal trauma, but especially around children. They would have probably been told that they must give birth to a lot of children for their future husband and were 100% taught how to be mothers, making them perfect to care for baby Obanai.

Suma specifically would take a lot of pride in doing that, as she would want to be a mother. Her being super invested into caring for him, as if he were her own child.

Makio and Hina, less so, but both always being willing to jump in and help.

They could possibly become best friends with Mitsuri through Obanai's situation and find other things they have in common.

i agree!

with the three growing up having it constantly drilled in their head they'll have to carry several children and be strong for their future husband i do think there's some underlying distress and frustration there, and i do wonder if it will help ease that pressure if they were able to help out with someone else's baby-- they didn't have to go through pregnancy or labor, it's not their baby to mother and raise-- they just get to help out and be an anchor of support

i also imagine tengen doesnt pressure them at all. he loves those women with his whole heart. if they expressed anything about not wanting to bare children, he would respect it. they could always adopt, he says. and if they do have kids-- he's not making them do all the work! that man would be a stay at home dad if he could!

i do agree that suma would be the one most eager to be a mother, whereas makio and hinatsuru less so, though they are of course willing to help, and im sure they love being around a baby

an interesting dynamic ive always believed is tengen's wives HATE obanai. they dont really understand him. they see him as hateful towards women and a cruel person toward their husband, though tengen tries to reassure them that isnt the case at all. having a deaged obanai around probably helps reassure them of that. they see how much tengen and obanai adore each other without the wall that obanai's built up, and understand that it's not that obanai hates women-- it's that he fears them

the baby is always crying around them and trying to hide in either sanegiyuu, tengen, or mitsuri-- whoever is holding him at the time. since the baby is scared, kaburamaru is all worked up and hissing and snapping at the girls. they slowly figure out babynai is scared of them, and over time, they gain his trust, and in turn, they recognize obanai truly isnt that bad-- he's just a damaged guy in need of care

so, whenever babynai is visiting or having to spend the night-- if tengen isnt absolutely doting over the little guy-- the girls help out when they can and, in turn, tengen helps them out. if the girls want to play with the baby for a bit, tengen is more than happy to step away and cook dinner or do the laundry

and to your point, ive always seen tengen's wives as being super close with shinobu and mitsuri, and i see that happening here! if we throw babybu into the mix, i just know those girls are FIGHTING over who gets to hold the baby. babybu loves all the girl time!!

slowly babybu and mitsuri are able to convince babynai to let the girls get him all dressed up. insert babynai with the cutest little bows. the girls cant decide if he should have pink or purple (they only have pink and purple because of miss nobu) but babynai wants to match with mitsuri so... pink it is!

[clownery-and-fuckery]

As promised, my commentary on Hunter.... to the people that like him, im sorry.

Spoiler warnings and the like, this is pretty negative aside from like maybe three sentences?? Feel free to leave you're own opinions on this too ofc !!! >:)

I dont like Hunter.

Actually, that's not entirely true, I liked him in TCW season 7, when he was that silly man who fucked droids around the place, took no shit, and loved his brothers. I like the Hunter who, not putting this nicely, had a personality.

This is not a dig on him as a character, it's a dig on how he was handled, writing wise

Listen, I totally get that the "rugged-man-adopts-a-star-child" trope is popular, and I do LOVE that trope, really I do- I just don't really think it was done that well here? It's bothered me since s1 of the Bad Batch, and I don't think it's going to get any better this season....

My only real problem with the writing inconsistency of Hunter being an older brother of three to "Omega this, Omega that" and while I agree childcare is SUPER difficult at the best of times, Hunter had four brothers who were equally capable of taking care of Omega, too. It just never sat right with me that taking care of her became his ENTIRE personality

Hes a soldier, who despite being completely out of his element, had a routine he strictly followed for the whole war. Yet he seemed to completely forget about that ?? Stressed or not stressed, that worn in routines and LIFELONG LESSONS should not have left his head as quickly as they seemed to.

The most obvious and frustrating example of the oversimplification of Hunter's character is with Crosshair. I cannot even BEGIN to describe my anger when it comes to Hunter and Crosshair. It mainly stems from the way he just FORGETS his brother is with the Empire. Conveniently never bringing it up unless someone else did it first.

As the oldest sibling and squad leader, I personally think Hunter should have been the one to bring him up. It should not have had to be specifically mentioned by another character for Hunter to discuss it. He loves his brothers, he loved Crosshair, broody or not, he should have brought it up AT LEAST once, imo.

We also see this complete disregard for Crosshair AGAIN in s3, now that we have seen Hunter looking for Omega and not ONCE mentioning Crosshair. Has he forgotten that they were originally going to find Crosshair??? That they never actually FOUND their brother ??????? Annoyed me so much, tbh.

What else annoyed me was the singular language he used during the whole episode. "She's part of our squad." "Hemlock took SOMEONE from us." He's completely and utterly disregarding the OTHER TWO SIBLINGS that the Empire took away from him !!!!! It genuinely frustrates me so much.

I know I'm DEFINITELY nit-picking here, but even when Hunter looked to Tech's goggles, it was in a "He should've been here to do this." Way, not a "He should be here." Way. That's his brother, who died looking for another that Hunter has forgotten.

Hunter's tunnel vision is probably one my least favourite things about the Bad Batch, if I dare even MENTION that- and I love this show. It means so much to me, but I just can't handle this particular part of it...

I have so SO much anger directed towards the treatment of Hunter by the writers. I want the Hunter who was devoted to his WHOLE family, who fought for ALL of them, who would have NEVER allowed Crosshair to leave in the first place. Give me that Hunter back.

(Saying this- I do not mind Hunter and Omega's father/daughter and brother/sister relationship !!! I do really enjoy it- in small amounts. The fact that Hunter became nearly an extention of Omega really just- threw me off his whole character, really)

I specifically pick to ignore this when I'm making anything. Hunter has been a sergeant of three idiots(named endearingly) for the entirety of the war. One child who wanders around should not have taken up 100% of Hunter's attention, ESPECIALLY when he was surrounded and supported. It just bothers me, idk

Anyway, thats my rant !!! Back to some positives soon, promise !! I just had to get this off my chest, it's been BOTHERING me.

[bull-shit-suji]

kuro modern au stuff that i word vomited into my notes app

kind of a Vincent summoned sebastian to save ciel so ciel doesnt actually owe sebas anything

amnesia? idk

single dad moment! except theres this other dad whos kinda find.. (cough agni)

i think vincent was like do NOT let ciel know ur a demon so sebastian keeps it a secret but he doesnt have a good handle on like. Humans. so he kinda does a bad job and ciel definitely knows that he's weird but doesnt say anything. will go out of his way to gaslight you when sebastian does weird shit because he thinks its funny

"hey uhh is your dad levitating?"

"no?"

"he's flying above the school rn"

"that's a bird"

u think suddenly being a butler is hard? have fun being a dad bitch

alois is there but thats complicated. claude and hannah are DIVORCED but on decent terms (i think claude is like. toxic alpha male podcast type guy) and claude sees alois on alternating weekends!

are they demons? i dont know

i think ciel and alois can be friends. platonically. alois would probably say yes if ciel wanted to be romantic but i Promise you he does not. they are just pals :)

im saying ciel has a crush on elizabeth because i can (she's not his cousin here). emo boy x sunny church girl. said sunny church girl has to ask the mcdonalds employees for the blue raspberry slushie they forgot to put in ciel's order because emo boy is too scared.

IM 13 EVERYTHING SUCKSSSSS

grelle is actually living her best life transitioned with anne so they are ciel's aunts on his late mom's side. i think grelle likes ciel. mom figure moreso than anne is.

ciel owns four bongs and definitely a vape or two. come on now

he's also probably got celiac and is lactose intolerant he is just a feeble boy i think

he listens to twenty one pilots. sorry! sorry.

ciel is goth alois is punk those r kinda just the rules

ciel is insanely smart top of the class this shit is easy for him.

yells at sebastian daily. figured out what happened with his real parents around the age of uhhhh 12 or 13? has been an absolute terror ever since

"it was really nice of your dad to bring cookies for the field trip!"

"i hope he fucking chokes on one"

"oh!"

sebastian and claude are pta rivals.

"is this lemon bread store bought? my, how... efficient!"

"you made these from scratch? i can tell."

"i've never seen an interesting looking salsa! very exciting."

ciel purposefully invites alois over constantly bcus it pisses sebas off. alois is Terrified of that man.

"go grab the chips from the kitchen"

"but... what if mr michaelis is in there?"

"mr m- you mean my dad? tell him he can shove a faucet up his ass"

"id rather die on the spot"

sebastian will yell at ciel and is maybe a little emotionally unavailable but he's trying!!! it's hard :(

does that Dad thing where he comes into ciels room and is like hey bud......... what r u up to..

ciel and seiglinde r also palls. the smartest people in school

lizzie is a JOCK. she plays softball.

alois is a theater kid come on now

ciel is best at writing and literature analysis, specifically fiction. enjoys history, language, and Some sciences as well.

nerd

au where myspace is still a thing ciel has a myspace account

he definitely writes shitty poetry

wants to major in business

alois is a glee and pitch perfect truther

[mono-dot-jpeg]

a flower & flower protector - p. niran [lifeweaver]

summary; you've heard of a sunshine and sunshine protector, well how about a flower and flower protector?

genre/extra tags; fluff, general headcanons abt being lifeweaver's s/o but with a more set dynamic, me just thinking about a dynamic in my head, reader is an overwatch agent (tank to be specific), very black cat & retriever energy in a way?, lifeweaver is the flower.. heh, get it?? bc his thai nickname is bua? which is lotus,,, anyways i love this man

[gender neutral! reader]

a/n; it's a crime that i haven't written for him yet bc i just wish there was more about him. he's literally my only source of representation as a south asian gay (at least the closest i'll get to a cambodian lgbt figure). and i love him so much for that but i will never forgive people shitting on him bc of blizzard's shit timing for everything

ugh, anyways, representation matters and i love him. i lost my shit when he was first announced, it made me so happy to see another type of south asian (especially one close to my family's home country) in my favorite game and he was gay so it was even more impactful as a gay person myself. and i imagine it was the same for a lot of other people.

niran is too nice sometimes

you love him for it but he seriously needs to pump the breaks on trying to do so much sometimes

especially since he is still technically wanted in several countries for his developments in bio light.

he's not,, super golden retriever energy but he's always so bright and sweet, it's hard to not at least say dog energy. maybe at least... chill dog energy. glad to be here but not being crazy energetic about it.

you.. not so much. you're very "i dont mind being here but i dont like it either" and he finds it entertaining and endearing bc even if you hate it, you're with him and making sure he's having a good time and there's no one there to ruin it

you're kind of intimidating but then you stand next to niran and he's so much taller than you ?! you're like near his chin or lips in height, so you're still kind of tall?? but also he is a very tall man in general

some people find it hard to believe that you're the one in the frontlines in battle and he's the one supporting you but it's really cute though

he likes that you're close to his height. "just means easier access to kiss you!" in his words.

he's always the one initiating pda and you never say no to it. you always grumble abt it but he just smiles so sweetly and you end up letting him do what he wants

but in private, you're the one being attached to him

often being the little spoon bc as much as you love protecting the people of the world, you want to be protected too sometimes and that's okay

but you do like being big spoon too and he loves being cuddled when you're the one initiating it

he's always the one rambling to you about his new discoveries and his plants or just anything in general

and you're always listening intently. and you get him things based on what he's talked about recently or what reminds you of him :')

"did you get this for me, dear?"

".. no." [yes.]

"of course, of course." he nods knowingly, sending you that little smug smirk. he obviously knows. "well, then i'm just gonna go ask the rest of the agents if they- [gifted this to me]"

you're hugging him from behind, face pressed against his back, "i hate you so much niran."

that stupidly cute laugh leaves his lips, "i love you too."

the overwatch crew's opinions really vary

symm doesn't mind your presence when you're around, she doesn't mind when you have silent moments bc she has those moments too. you both are close friends

genji kind of relates to you, when you just feel like being away from people but you don't want to actually feel lonely. he finds solace in that. also you both probably meditate together (with zen on occasion), and he enjoys having a meditation partner

tracer is always nice around you, very cheery and always trying to get a laugh or smile out of you. you only spare a weak laugh or a huff of a laugh and niran has to explain that you probably did find her joke funny and you don't want to admit it (which is true). sometimes it's a bit awkward when he's not around to explain that, so you just come off as really really awkward or unintentionally rude (or maybe intentionally if you didn't like her jokes)

you know that baptiste flirts a lot with niran, and you dont really care bc he does that with mostly everyone. you don't blame him (some of the agents are really pretty and handsome but you love niran the most). you trust niran enough. he's a very honest person with you.

bap also tries to flirt with you too. niran joins in to double team you and get you flustered. and sometimes it works. you're unfortunately really bad at handling and accepting compliments.

bap is very flirty best friend vibes but he never pushes past the limits of course. niran's glad to have a friend who matches his energy and you're just glad he's got another place to put that energy

continuing on...

after missions, he's always patching you up. you're the tank after all (you can only take so many orisa spears to the head-)

during missions, he gives his 110% for you and the team. and he does it well ‼️

during those off times (which can really vary what with null sector and the invasion and etc.), you both just try to relax as much as possible. sometimes niran gets really restless bc he just wants to save the world as soon as possible :(

but you remind him about how it takes time and even heroes need rest.

you tend to take care of him more during those off times because he just gets so anxious and he overthinks a bit.

you're very realistic with your goals, niran can get too optimistic, and it can really hurt him. but you keep him grounded.

mm.. let's move to a lighter topic now,,,,

his love language is physical touch and acts of service. his in game,,, everything just screams that to me idk

when he pulls you in his life grip and saves you 😍 (lowkey, i fall in love with those players who save my ass like that as a support player/j)

nah but real talk, when you come back to him in the grip, he slips a hand around your waist, "let me hold you a bit longer, hm?" I LOVE HIM FR FR ‼️‼️

anyways, he likes doing things for you. and the pda thing as mentioned before applies to the physical touch love language ofc

he has to have like a few seconds to gently guide your close to him with his hand on your lower back or to hold your hand. or just hold you in general.

he's the type of guy to say you have something your hair and goes to fix it but there was nothing, he wanted an excuse to make it a kdrama moment

he's like a bit dramatic but you love him for it you know?

he's a bit cheesy but he's cute so it's okay

he's always telling you how much he loves you. you dont do the same, at least not verbally

it's mostly physically/through actions. handing him things he didn't know he needed, buying him presents that made you think of him

very gift giving and acts of service

..

man this is longer than i thought it was gonna be... um..

idk if i should go further. someone request it and i'll write in-game interactions that would happen or describe flower protector! reader more. /hj

[ilynpilled]

also, in her converation with Ned, cersei outright TELLS him that Jaime would kill Robert if he knew how Robert abused her (fuck robert i hope he's rotting). and Robert knew it too which is why all his bruises were generally weren't on her face where people, specifically including Jaime, could see.

This is her exact quote: "Jaime would have killed him (Robert), even if it meant his own life"

that's probably one of the reasons why she doesn't tell him. she was in an awful, awful situation and it reflects the situation of so many other abuse victims across the world. it's not fair that she should have to keep this from her own family and worry about what her brother would do, but if he DIDN'T do anything...what kind of a person would he be? just look at Aemon the Dragonknight as a prime example

regarding this post: link

yeah thats the quote they refused to take at face value when almost everything about his characterization indicates that it would be the case.

i think when it comes to the discussions of much of this the dissonance comes from not confronting that this society refuses to acknowledge marital rape as rape. i do not have the quote at hand but george himself has expressed that marital rape doesnt exist in medieval society. that is why it makes sense that while jaime is aware that robert “claimed his rights”, he does not recklessly murder him for it in rage unless cersei gives the word (again, we already know he is ready to do it after he sees that robert is disrespecting her by cheating on her and proceeds to ask her if she wants him dead for it. but like you pointed out, cersei understands that if he saw evidence of physical abuse he likely would not ask for permission and potentially get himself killed.) this is because arranged marriages are treated as a norm in which conjugal rape and a man claiming his rights is not really acknowledged or understood (more like confronted tbh) as rape. this is an integral aspect of the patriarchal domination thats present in westerosi society, its woven into its very fabric. women are placed into a role of subordination, again, it is robert’s “right.” and jaime too is unable to conceptualize it as sexual abuse on the level of rape. hence we get quotes like this:

like we know and understand that cersei was repeatedly raped by robert. we know she didnt make anyone kill her. we know what jaime is saying and thinking here is inconsistent and makes little sense if he believes that she was raped.

that other passage suggests that jaime does not fully grasp or know this. and in general society doesn’t for the most part, including most of the victims themselves. “claiming his rights” is not referred to as rape. robert also knows that what he is doing is wrong, especially the part where he is hurting her (theres also the layer of the code of chivalry being completely contradicted), but he refuses to confront it in multiple ways, and i dont think even he fully acknowledges it as rape either even though i refuse to believe that he is not aware of it. cersei’s right to label him a coward. same with ned in that very conversation, he even sees and knows that robert physically hit her, heard her say that she can scarcely bear him touching her, and yet he asks: “a thousand other women might have loved him with all their hearts. what did he do to make you hate him so?”, and cersei also doesn’t give the answer: “he repeatedly raped me.” jaime understands rape as terrible, he shows concern towards brienne, and risks personal harm (and gets it too since he is kicked unconscious because of it) saving her from it, and it is an act driven by empathy, and he even ironically acknowledges that rape can leave someone broken in a way that does not show on the outside. he executes pia’s rapist too, sets a precedent among his father’s men, and recognizes that she’s “scarred” where it does not show: “That’s all she is, a little girl in a woman’s body, scarred and scared.”

and re the present: while i have a sympathy for jaime in the sense that the betrayal that he was confronted with shatters the delusion that he made immense sacrifices for and defined most of his life atp, and the fact that it makes him feel that he was not actually loved by her as well as recontextualizing his most horrible decisions, he should be showing more consideration and empathy (and i am not saying that he is obligated to die for her either. he isnt) and put in the effort to actually place himself in cersei’s shoes and navigate these blindspots that he has (he has the capacity to, again: “they will leave her a cripple too, but inside, where it does not show”). right now, he is extremely bitter, violently even, and can be selfish and misogynistic as hell about it, and i obviously believe that that is something that has to be recognized by readers for what it is.

but still, regarding the rest, i also think ppl dont acknowledge that because of how medieval society operates there is a very skewed perspective and understanding of certain things and how that affects characters. even with rhaella, jaime is disturbed by the physical abuse:

like he doesnt use the word rape like he does with brienne and the bloody mummers, but he obviously hears and sees that the abuse thats happening to rhaella is horrid and hurts her, and feels a need/obligation to protect her. this is why it is not inconsistent at all that jaime would recklessly murder robert without “permission” even if it meant his own life if he saw evidence of physical abuse, but does not do the same for the marital rape/him claiming his rights. in this society it is not viewed as a violation of rights because women do not really have these rights in these circumstances. their purpose is to marry and bear children. rape is mostly understood and recognized as “low born criminals violently raping women”, “knights and soldiers violently raping women when their blood is up” etc, not “nobles in marriages raping their wives when they claim their rights”, or “coerced rape occurring every time nobles use brothels” etc.

and, as you may have noticed, there’s a strong “you’re hurting me” motif with all of this, because no matter what westerosi society normalizes to maintain patriarchal hegemony, it is obviously all an utter violation of human rights that deals immense harm and trauma to women.

[antiquepearlss]

im going to harrass you with my tts halloween related questions until its tysmgiving and then i bombard you with tjose and yhen crisis, and well u get it idk

i love ur hcs i find them interesting

OKAY ANYWAYS, what dya think the tts characters favorite halloween candy is(or like what they enjoy bcuz thats what this ask ended up as)...

rapunzel likes all candy, she will eat anything and everything, but she secretly likes the fruity candies more than like chocolate ans what not, but shhhh everything is still apatizeing to her(except lemon stuff, like dont give her a lemon head man). eugene likes chocolate and so does cass, i think ever since i got introduced to cass i js thought she liked chocolate, specifically dark chocolate js bcus shes not much of a sweets person yk?(she usually takes the dark chocolate hersheys & dark chocolate milkyways if no one wants them) but eugene likes all chocolates, milky ways? yes. snickers? yes. heck even an almond joy he'll eat.

lance is like raps, he'll eat whatever(usually he just eats what the girls dont want LMAO) but smth about me makes me think his fav is jelly beans... angry and catalina are both similar, but i think catalina doesnt like nuts in her candy(i dont either, i know im insane u can hate me already), but kiera probably likes snickers, though i think she likes baby ruths more. catalina is a big fan of reeses tho, like yes peanut butter & chocolate yum yum yum.

varian likes the fruity candy cuz he is one /JOKE

but fr varian is one of those people who gets a whole carrot or smth and is like "omg thank you!!" and eats it like a chocolate bar, i do too so its okay. but his fav candy is skittles, like actually he will gobble down a whole bag like no ones business(he also likes gummies, of any sort really, oh and jolly ranchers)

and hugo doesnt get candy he gets mf rocks like charlie brown(respectfully, hugo probably likes kitkats and sweetarts)

this is so much IM SO SORRY HELP, my fav halloween candy is crunch bars & milky ways, but honestly all candy is so good lol

I’m so down, spam my inbox if you want. (I’m so hyped for Christmas Tangled Posting. Rapunzel loves Muppet Christmas Carol.) Also thank you very much.

So I’m definitely the wrong person to ask this actually. I’m not really a big fan of candy tbh. I like it sometimes, but I usually prefer savory snacks. Honestly what you said is pretty much canon to me. I love these.

But I’ll try my best.

Punzie Wunzie- Like you said, prefers fruity candies to chocolate. Probably likes skittles and Starbursts, stuff like that. I feel like she’d like gummies. Esp the orange ones with sugar on them.

Gene- Chocolate all the way. And not the cheap crap, the really fancy stuff, like truffles.

Lance- Same as Eugene but I think he likes Hershey chocolate and generally just candy bars. Probably likes sour and spicy candies as well. And yes absolutely he loves jelly beans. Same with Cat and Varian.

Var Bear- I think he’ll eat anything tbh but he canonically likes chocolate, so he steals Eugene’s truffles and Lance’s candy bars. And I can see him liking hard candies and suckers, because you can eat them while working.

Cassie Wassie- Again like you said, dark chocolate. She doesn’t strike me as much of a candy person. I can see her liking candy with nuts (despite being a lesbian)

Thing 1 & The Other 1- I feel like Cat prefers savory foods because wolf hehe. So yes peanut butter candies all the way. Same with Kiera, idk she just doesn’t strike me as that much of a candy person either so I think she’d eat ab anything as well. Like they like candy well enough they just don’t really have favorites. Maybe they both like sour/spicy candy.

everyone else- Quirin and Arianna like those old person candies that just materialize in your house when you turn 60. Adira also prefers fancy chocolates. Frederic, I don’t know let’s say circus peanuts. Hector doesn’t care why are you asking him this. Edmund hasn’t had candy in years, honestly he’d be happy just eating a bag of straight sugar.

My favorite is probably milky ways. Because they’re good and I gotta stick with my astronomy aesthetic I’ve got going on. Also Skittles slap.

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

Hi i have sigewinne thoughts id like to hear your takes on

It is established that sigewinne is in the fortress wayyyy before wrio because she was also incarcerated for something right (or maybe she just has weird lingo that makes it SOUND like she committed a crime idk). And its still unclear exactly when she went from being an inmate to a working nurse (could be the same as wrio or she was also one of the people who chose to stay in meropide after her sentence is over who knows).

But like the warden before wrio is horrible iirc. And idk man horrible warden would equal unhappy, starving, desperate, and violent (and most importantly DEAD!) prisoners right?

I know melusines has this higher being-esque distant way of how they view humanity. They talk about humans being adorable like how humans would describe pets and animals. Im not saying its in a deragotory way, but theyre... a lil bit tone deaf because of it ya know. Like they KNOW they should do good for good sake but not exactly comprehend that good would make humans feel good (sedene literally went 'ah yes i remember that when humans are sad, you feed them, then theyre not sad!)

Do you think sigewinne would just... people watch? Would help humans that approach her yeah but she just... is aware that the humans around her are the sad and the hungry. And they are just less so when the warden changed? I doubt ANYONE would stay in meropide after their sentence during the previous warden era, but her staying solely to people watch and keep them healthy isnt.... that... farfetched.

And i love sigewinne, would probably need that level of distance to be a tiny nurse in a fortress of criminals. I just wonder how she is during the previous warden era because i dont really see her getting along with them either (or the warden kept her around for free labour who knows)

Sorry for the late reply, my social spoon has been low. The yap machine broke LOL

ANYWAY the melusines. I do honestly think Genshin Often write themselves into a hole with how they want to keep things "light" while still ... doing ... dark crazy shit. Putting a Melusine in Jail. Why. And also genshin's writer team is just... not good. But we have been through that I've rambled At Length about what I think there so.

Here's specific thoughts about Sigewinne.

Firstly............ what? I haven't touched new content since Fontaine MSQ finished, disclaimer, so I'm just taking your word for it. Secondly, making Sigewinne an ex convict is just so immensely Dumb of Mihoyo because that meant. Neuvillette had to sentence her. Right?? And how is That not more prominent to his story than him having to sentence Vautrin or even Wriothesley for that matter, given how he canonically feels about the Melusines and their safety. Sending one of them to Prison, where all of the Bad Guys who Hates Him and would kill the Melusines to get back at him. would ... have to fuck him up. Like he reacted so severely to just Hate Mail. How was Sigewinne's story Not At All impactful to his?

This is almost surely a Teams Not Communicating and/or Mihoyo Haven't Released Her So Everything About Her is Under Wraps thing. Which also makes no sense because.................. Wriothesley's sentence was literally referenced by that file on Neuvillette's desk. Which by the way is insane like sir it has been years. Put it away. But did they do anything like that for Sigewinne? I dunno. Haven't played in ages. The fact that she works down there At All is kinda wack if you consider how protective Neuvillette is.

So........ like... were the Melusines around even Before he was Iudex? He only brought them out of the water and into Fontaine but it's not stated that they're actually younger than him... or younger than 500 years right....... Was she sentenced by the Previous Archon? How can MHY tell a story that says so much and yet answers nothing.

Anyway, about Sigewinne and the Melusines' inaction specifically, I don't actually mind too much. They are so extremely different from humans in terms of how they age and what their maturity looks like, and that it's not too hard for me to grasp that they're just gonna act in ways that make them seem................... so out of touch. This layer actually adds so much to them in my mind in terms of how their immortality works compared to say, the Adepti, and how their emotions and memory function. I once had a thought that because they are so unaffected by loss and death all around them that they might... literally... be one of the only immortal species on Teyvat that is immune to corrosion lol. Or at least, the emotional anguish kind. In the sense they're almost like slimes. Where they just:

1. Don't recall their history with much intensity at all (that one melusine literally forgot Carole died. Or maybe it wasn't made clear to her that one of them just vanished. Maybe a lot more Melusines have died than we thought).

2. Don't care. #Live in the moment.

3. Don't ruminate (I literally said this in my fic funnily enough AHAHAHA).

Like if anyone in Fontaine is truly seriously impartial to humans, its them. Their ability to be so detached to suffering looks Frightening to outsiders (layering on their history with discrimination here lmao) but in actuality, if you consider that they're legitimately another species with a different brain, you'd be able to see their behaviour through less of a moral lense. It's literally as if they don't fully comprehend life and death— even Carole doesn't seem to fully understand death itself. And they forget things (Elynas, their 'father') which is arguably Not Erosion (forgetting small stuff is normal, and if you live as long as they do, yeah, you're better off forgetting things from 298274 years ago). Even if they remember it's probably like. Oh, that was sad! Anyway, what was I doing?

They just don't. Ruminate. They aren't built like that.

And I don't think that means that they don't care. They're just genuinely very different from humans in how they think and feel. And I refrain from saying "they're autistic" or "emotionally stunted" because these are human conditions and human terms, even if I very much frame my understanding of them through my understanding of these other human conditions. Which is why Neuvillette isn't exactly autistic either. But it's very Hard to say in his case because there's not exactly. Other Water Dragons for us to compare to and see if his cognitive/emotional abilities are Different from them (Unless it's modern au. In which yeah, he is lmao). But all the Melusines have this sort of detachment as if like, emotionally, they don't have... the trauma function basically. Or at least not one that's comprehensible to us.

So in my head, I do think Sigewinne tries her best, but she just simply isn't as emotionally charged by her experiences as, say, Wriothesley. She worked in Meropide while Wriothesley was sentenced there, so she did work under the previous warden as well, and I'm sure she did her job Well and she had her own way of caring for people but if they drop dead... genuinely, I think she'd just be like. "Aw, how sad. Anyway, I have other people to treat." Which, arguably, makes her a much more efficient nurse LMAO.

And it may seem so cruel to people do view her through a humanistic lense, but if you see it as like, if she's reached the level of enlightenment that Buddhist practitioners could only Dream of, and she's able to literally let these heavy events wash over her without letting it affect her, all while still being a caring being, this all would hopefully feel less uncomfortable. I do genuinely think she cares, but her emotional range and cognition just reaches. This point. Which is fine and doesn't make her inherently a bad character or person, I think.

I do literally think she can sit down with someone grieving and be like, "I understand that you are going through a process, and I will let you process things at your own rate, while I administer care as well as I can."

And they can be like, "Why don't you give a shit that they died?!!"

And she'd be like, "Would me feeling worse bring them back?"

Then, depends on how they react, she would continue like. "Unfortunately I do not feel things the same way that you do, and I do understand that humans often want their conversation partners to be able to relate to them, to feel as though they aren't alone in their feelings. Perhaps if you attend the memorial later, you'd be able to find those who can grieve with you. But if you feel any pain, or need any medicine, I will be here to help you!"

Yknow like. She's not Unkind. But she's very much... not gonna feel the same way about death as her patients. If anything this might make her the Best Suited person to be in charge of care in Meropide, and she might have already figured that out herself, and was like, "Monsieur Neuvillette, only I can do this without going insane. Please let me do this."

And he's like............... (shaking with fear for her) "Alright."

[class-1b-bull]

How would the class act with an s/o with a Bowerbird Quirk starting nesting behaviors in spring... or just nesting behaviors in general?

Not proofread we die like men

Awase - he insisted on helping with his s/os make shift nest once he found out what they were doing and he definitely tried. It was a bit annoying that he kept welding stuff down when it wasn't goint to end up where it currently was but its whatever.

Sen - Honestly he calls it stupid at fist but then he sees how much time his s/o is genuinely investing into making their makeshift nest and he decides to help a bit. He dosent know what to do so he just hands them some sticks and calls it a day

Kamakiri - he honestly dosent really care. If his s/o asks him to help he will probably make a decent blade for them to use and he will just leave his s/o with it at that lmao

Kuroiro - he will suggest that his s/o makes their makeshift nest as dark as his soul. If they do then he acts all evil about it lmao. Like a master mind whos evil plan finally worked but if his s/o dosent make their nest all black their just met with the smallest please the worlds ever heard lmao

Kendo - she thinks the bird like/ nesting behaviors are really cute ngl. She offers to help with the nest making and if her s/o lets her she silently gets really happy <3

Kodai - If her s/o wants her to help make the nest or something then she will help but other than that she dosent really mess with it. She dosent mind the bird like behavior so she dosent really point it out or acknowledge it at all.

Komori - she decorates her s/os makeshift nest with her mushrooms to make it prettier. Obviously only non poisonous mushrooms for their safety <3

Shiozaki - she will grow her vines and cut and trim off the thorns to make ropes to help keep her s/os nest that their making together. Its really just a bunch of pillows and blankets tied together with the occasional twig or feather but still lmao.

Shishida - he also has a lot of animal like tendencys because of his quirk so he understands completely. He will help his s/o find twigs and things that they want to use. Birds also use fur for their nests a lot so if they want some of his all they have to do is ask.

Shoda - he offers help if its wanted but he dosent do anything special other than that. He understands that his s/o might not want it since making a nest is pretty important and thats fine by him

Pony - she has no idea what her s/o is doing but shes supportive. Once she finds out theyre making a nest with their pillows and blankets she will pull up bird nests on pintrest and help them look for inspo lmao

Tsubaraba - he really wants to help since he thinks his s/os bird like tendencys are a bit silly. But hes also really bad at it. He keeps sending his s/o pictures of random bird nests saying stuff like the leaves on this one <3 or some shit like that lmao

Tetsutetsu - even if his s/o dosent want his help he will find something to help with simply because he thinks its cool. He will be their hype man if necessary. He will scream about how cool it looks every two seconds lmao

Tokage - once she hears about her s/o making a home made nest or something similar to that she will start telling them all her crazy ideas to make it look as cool as possible.

Manga - he will help by sketching out his s/os ideas so they can visualize it better and see if they like it. He also helps quite a bit with the physical labor.

Honenuki - a lot like shoda he is more than willing to help his s/o if its wanted but if they dont want his help then he understands and instead will spend his time doing his own thing <3. He will make them a snack in he feels they need it though

Bondo - if you ask him too he will help by using his quirk but he understands that his s/o might be very specific about how they want their makeshift nest so he mostly leaves it up to them. He dosent mind helping if its wanted

Monoma - he insists on helping with his s/os nest (even if its mostly pillows and blankets lmao) and he helps by puting fairy lights all around it and tinsel and stuff like that to the point that its kinda hard to look at but he fully believes that it couldent be better

Reiko - when her s/o starts with their nesting habits when spring comes around she dosent do anything special. She stays in the same room silently doing her own thing while her s/o does their own thing as well

Rin - he also has some animal behaviors (aka being cold blooded) so he gets it and is willing to help if his s/o wants him too but for the most part he lets them do as they want.

Gif anime - dungeon meshi

[dykexenomorph]

For the character ask game, how about questions 1-5, 8, and 13 for Max Caulfield?

If you don’t wanna answer that many questions that’s ok, just pick the ones you want 👍

1. Do you project onto this character? well yes, but not always intentionally LMAO

2. Did you always like this character? no actually!! i have a tendency to unintentionally dislike characters who i feel like are similar to me (ignore nell vance, shes an outlier) so i initially found her a bit annoying. it took exactly one replay of the game to be like "oh ok i was wrong......" and start loving her LMAO

3. What first drew you to this character? to be very honest w you it has been SO long since i first got into lis (around 8 years now i wanna say?) that i cannot remember what it initially was? i think it was probably her interests more than anything else (i always forget this but lis ended up getting me into photography and influenced my music taste SO intensely that bands tht i found/like bc of their similarity to stuff on the first games soundtrack keep ending up in sequels LOL)

4. Did you initially dislike/hate this character? see above :3

5. If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man? honestly im not sure? i very genuinely have a harder time relating to guy charas in media (do NOT ask me why, i couldn't tell u), but i also feel like i love max too much for anything to change that? hard to say!!

8. Does the character’s looks/design matter to you? [camera pans over to the 239827 angry sequel max antis that i keep unintentionally finding on tiktok] um. no comment. (real answer is like? yes but only in the sense tht i dont want any super huge changes to what i feel like her established style and preexisting face already are?)

13. If you could draw effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what scene (s) would you draw for this character? this one is a hard one bc i've been wanting to draw more of her for a WHILE now? if i had to single out one thing then i think it'd maybe be cool to do something having to do w her (lack of) texts with chloe during her time at seattle OR smth with her using pictures to go to different timelines towards the end of the game? i KNOWW neither of these sound very specific but i swear i have real pieces/drawings im envisioning for both of these </3

FAVORITE CHARA ASKS

[redheadbigshoes]

🌻 here, why is that one anon commenting on an anon'd ask that doesn't even say what people or posts its talking about lol

Yeah it's messed up no matter what to fetishize black folk, do we even see the post? know who is being talked about? have any evidence of anything at all? they seem pretty eager to jump on a trans woman mentioned tangentially through an anon ask...

Anyway I wanted to weigh in on the gender segregated sports with adding that we hear so often from conservatives that big strong scary trans women will win all the womens sports but people don't know I guess that hormone therapy for transfems literally atrophies our muscles lol.

I used to play american football in jr high and high school and I worked out regularly in college and I've lost pretty much all of that strength over the last 5-6 years of taking t-blockers and estrogen. I lose arm wrestling matches with my butch lesbian cousin lol. Trans women on hormones have absolutely no difference to our body capabilities than a cis women. Which doesn't mean they'd be weaker than any given man or anything, given that anybody can still work out enough to build strength to compete in a sport, but my point is we hear about trans women having 'biological' advantages in sports so much cis people forget what the reality is for trans women who compete.

I honestly think it is sexist to segregate sports by gender, given that women can absolutely beat men in anything in the world, I know a cis women that is 2 feet taller than me who could be a basketball star over any man if she wanted to, but that brings up the fact that sports aren't totally fair even within gender segregation, since sports inherently favor people with specific body types. So if you wanted to be truly egalitarian you would segregate sports by weight classes, or something like that.

But you are right that in any co-ed sports in our current society there will always be misogyny, its the reason why we have a seperate chess league is because one of the sports with no body favoritism which anyone can pick up and learn and practice and plenty of women become amazing at chess, they are still systemically repressed from being able to compete and practice like their men peers do. They face increased scrutiny and barriers that men dont, which is why trans women competing in women's sports is important for us in this current setting. Women can compete in any sport that men can, but misogyny is prevalent in every sports space, as well as transmisogyny, so a trans woman barred from women's leagues has basically no fair and safe space to compete and enjoy a sport.

-🌻

It’s complicated whenever minorities are involved because the other anon (the one who made that comment about the first anon’s ask) didn’t have the context about the situation nor the specific post the person was talking about, so it really seems that they got defensive about it because it’s probably a sensitive topic for them.

Meanwhile, like you said, they were eager to jump on a trans woman without even knowing exactly what they were talking about.

About the gender segregation: people don’t even take 2 seconds to look up how there’s a general rule that trans women who compete in the women category (when it comes to sports) need to be on hormone blocks (idk if that’s the right term) for at least a year before competing from what I know.

Yeah like I said on the reblog: what’s most stopping from segregating everything into gender categories (not only sports) is misogyny. I think if we want to stop dividing things into gender categories the first thing to do is to think how it will be able to do that without women being negatively affected.

[ooglywooglies]

yknow that thing i said awhile ago about how trans men and trans women probably inherently make each other dysphoric. i think i was right, i love my girl mutuals and people i follow and stuff but sometimes all the girlcentric stuff kind of wears me out, like dont stop posting what you wanna post but i need to figure something out.

tags were getting too long so im just continuing the post because i guess i cant express the sentiment i want to without dragging on

if you pay attention to my long posts youve probably figured ive been going through some insecurity issues recently, a lot of it is not helped by the fact that i keep doomscrolling on tumblr and digging into discourse tags like the whole "transandrophobia" thing, ive since changed my mind about that tag btw. yknow how i said before that "its a stupid term that has no basis in reality but the transphobia and misogyny trans men face is a real issue that probably needs a specific name for categorization purposes specifically on tumblr dot com" no i think its not important afterall

mostly because ive been watching the decay of this tag for a long time and it keeps CONSTANTLY getting infiltrated by terfs and transmisogynists and ive been talking to someone who is trying to deradicalize people involved and shes like yeah this whole theory/movement/framing basically encourages self pity and resentment so its a breeding ground for transmisogyny (and regular misogyny) and i think i agree with that

but its hard not to see the problems with this tag/community/whatever it is and the response transfeminists have to it and now just go god transmascs are fucking annoying, and i feel embarrassed to be associated with them

and thats stupid, its basically the same thing as white guilt, yknow that thing where when white people learn racism exists they go oh well im sorry for being alive it would be better if white people were just never born. its like no one asked you to feel sorry for YOURSELF (or anyone else, poc in this situation just want you to be responsible when necessary and be respectful)

so like, im not ashamed of being a trans man i guess, not on the basis that theyre capable of and often perpetuate transmisogyny. i think ive talked before about feeling like being a trans man could be antithetical to feminism because some feminists suggest that manhood/masculinity is an inherently toxic and oppressive class, if thats true transitioning into manhood/masculinity would be a morally objectionable thing to do. i think being a man is not inherently bad, i think that gender is not a choice even if one has some benefits over the other (why would trans women ever "choose" to be women if the only factor of gender was privilege) i think this sentiment im so worried about is something basically only terfs (cis radfems) actually believe and try to perpetuate

but i also mentioned on another post that "tumblr tricks you into thinking trans people are annoying" and also that a lot of transmascs both in the tag but also on this site in general are like not older than 22

a lot of the trans guys i follow or are friends with (none of my twitter guys are here and i dont do twitter anymore) are closer to my age, being in their late 20s and you can FEEL the maturity difference. i think being on tumblr does make you think that all transmascs are basically annoying middle class teenage white people who only watch childrens cartoons and it makes the stereotypes about transmascs feel even HARDER to escape from. I CONSTANTLY feel insecure about having feminine interests, about being minimized and belittled, being infantalized, being emasculated, it really doesnt fucking help that im also (south)east asian and historically east asian people have been like hyperfeminized/emasculated compared to other groups

im not sure if im done with this post or not but i got distracted after writing this so i cant remember if i wanted to say anything else so im just gonna be done now

[heartfelttry]

i am replying to JacFrostIsReal's video here (about the Joker, how fictional mysteries being unsolved are just as valuably and narratively important as fictionally solved ones, "Mediocre White Man Syndrome"™, how she loved Red Hood Joker, and a bit about Two-Face. intrigued? yes, good, go watch her tiktok, go give her engagement please) bc this got way too long for a comment, or even a comment thread wHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING FROM ME (I LEAVE COMMENT THREAD MONOLOGS LIKE NOBODY'S BUISNESS) but ill put it under a read more out of politeness

my reply's bullshit of a summary: but yeah, the below is a Joker headcanon about "the true Joker's identity" and how i personally reconcile with the three main Jokers types (not identities. but types. we got what i call "Adam West Joker", "Agent of Chaos Joker", and "Grim-Dark Joker". this trio. here. that's what i mean) with all this hullabaloo of canon trying so bad to go "but what's his name, what's his story??" and me smacking DC's hand away from this Schrodinger's Cat of a cookie jar labeled "Joker" with this hc, happily, every time. enjoy?

reminder that i am dyslexic and i havent REALLY edited this stream of consciousness, so, like, be nice when i inevitably mispell/make typos lol also this was originally going to be a tiktok comment-thread so some odd things like "dead" are censored here and there before i realized mid-way "this is too long. i cant do a thread this long" lmao rip im just too exhausted today to edit atm. disability, chronic illness symptoms, c'est la vie lol

omg i have had the most wild TOTALLY HEADCANON answer to this, all bc im like "i wanna make a Gotham OC fanfic (.......yes the one with Kaycie that's kinda the only other post in this blog, stfu, lemme finish), but im too sickly to do it rn. ill just plot it for now on and off" and part of my plotting was "how do i want to approach Joker and his 'true identity' bs??" bc taking what canon from where for this fic was important to me as it was part of the plot i want to do. but like?? there's some comics i love where i just.. ignore their idea for Joker's backstory. cognitive dissonance that. but i implement other canon from those comics. v much cherry-picking; idgaf, thats THE way to go about comics. so i was like "what canons am i cherry-picking for this fanfic version of Joker?" and my eventual idea became my hc foR ALMOST ALL CONTEMPORARY JOKERS EVER and ill share it, sure, i love to info-dump

bc i came up with an answer that (admittingly idk ALL OF THE INTERNET EVER so maybe i independently came up with the same idea as someone else, but, this is my pitch, totally original to me specifically as far as i am aware:) makes both all the "real" Jokers "canon" and also NONE of them canon, and instead re-inforces the mystery of nobody knowing who the fuck this guy is

and that's that he "heals quickly" by seeing Professor Pyg (at 🔫point probably) and just.. getting a new fucking whatever's-broken

leg-broke? amputate and replace. wrist arthritis? amputate and replace. so on and so forth

but we dont see scars or anything bc, in my hc, he brings some of that acid with him when he sees Pyg (from when he first fell. we know he likely knows its ingredients since, tons of comics, he re-creates it for Harley) (also i like how this idea brings Pyg more to the forefront by proxy. bc Joker's laughing gas and Pyg's "perfect" people are such traumatizingly similar victims who are done in by two totally different people. my squeamish heart is so glad Pyg isnt Well Known outside of comic fans, but the nerd inside me doesnt get WHY he hasnt been part of pop culture osmosis alongside Joker yet wtf). so the acid is like an Even More Fucked Up Version Of The Lazarus Pit but that doesnt grant you immortality and has more cons than it could ever be worth, but Joker loves his "daddy/mommy vat" (you cannot tell me he doesnt call that vat some cringe parental nickname lol, i just wont buy it). the acid does bizarro healing-fast, no-scars nonsense. and the Joker's upped usage of it explains why his skin tends to chemically paper-white and Harley Quinn's (who also fell in the vat in some stories) tends to be her in white make-up. so: his skin-tone then isn't make-up, it's his skin, all bc he keeps re-applying that acid shit, whereas Harley only did it ONCE. and it didnt fuck her up as bad since she doesnt come back for more when she could just let her bones heal. (plus, him doing this stuff?? to me, it connects him a bit further to "The Joker's Daughter", like him replacing bit of himself foreshadows how she wears his face as a mask...)

...anyway, BUT AS A RESULT, he is leaving DNA of all these other people that are "the true identity of Joker". but like. they both are not Joker (theyre victims of Joker and Pyg) and ARE the Joker (theyre part of him). so all those idenities?? none of them are probably the true og Joker who first went to Pyg with a body that was 100% his own (and was using white make-up at the time) with a small vat of the acid going 🔫 "i have a commissioned offer for you that i wont let you refuse, Pyggy". theyre probably just a List Of Victims. you could even then argue all these versions of "the Joker's backstory reveal" are then just forensics and profilers trying to piece together "how did [Name] become the Joker?" and sensationalizing their interpretation, and the comics are "people trying to canonize those theories as fact via their fictional adaptation of this theory" (im aware this is loopy in a multi-verse way buT SHHH SHHH SHH); all having no idea yet that every [Name] there was actually a victim of Pyg and Joker's. how could they know? how could they guess the "reality" within this hc is that the Joker is a personified Ship Of Theseus?? he's like a mosaic from the Byzantine era, of how many pieces of other people he has; or like a stain-glass sculpture; or like the Creature from "Frankenstein" if Viktor Frankenstein became the Creature himself bit by bit. maybe the Joker has even had parts of his brain replaced with other people's (to the point that it becomes "who knows whose brain this originally was" to which all "hey science doesnt work like—"/"iTS COMICS THO. WE HAVE THE LAZARUS PITS ALREADY, THE ACID CAN BE A FUCKED UP PROVERBIAL MEWTWO MAN-MADE VERSION OF RA'S AL GUHL'S MEW. LET THE PSEUDO-SCIENCE HAPPEN. IT'S COMICS. HE CAN SURVIVE THAT MUCH BRAIN TRANSPLANT ON REPEAT NOW" arguments are kinda nullified with) with this glaze of The Acid ontop to allow the blend to Work— bc he keeps using this acid, causing himself to potentially develop ťúmóŕś and needing them removed (and maybe Pyg does secret lobotomies or some shit and sees "what if i replace this part while im at it..??" to see if this makes the Joker "more bareable" to be around, idk). as a result of this absurd desire to never have an injury delay him: even upon his hypothetical autopsy, they'll never know his true identity. forensics and profilers who had been having debates analyzing evidence to "uncover" who the Joker is will be revealed to have had a vast misunderstanding of the dark truth

BUT SAYING THAT?? i still miss past Jokers. before people tried attaching a name to him (that's part of the motivation for me with this hc, just going "actually?? yOURE ALL WRONG, TO ME, SPECIFICALLY" lmao rip). like. for one, i miss shitty-at-villainy chaos "im literally the luckiest fucker alive" gremlin Joker (legit? Jason Todd's situation?? proverbially Joker being a "i am eating the chess pieces whenever Batsy isnt looking, and he is confused how i could be winning"). like he isnt a master-mind. he's lucky as hell, he is legitimately Murphy's Law as a bratty villain, the most legitimate "agent of chaos" a person could be, he has no plans, he's flying by the seat of his pants and keeps going "oh sick, im in THE most optimal place somehow so Batman cant kill me for what i just did". liKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE STUMBLED INTO BECOMING A DIPLOMAT AFTER JASON TODD'S ḌẸÄṬĤ?? HE GOT SO LUCKY, GOT IN THE PERFECT SITUATION SO SUPERMAN HAD TO RELUCTANTLY GO "dont do it, Batman, itll cause an international incident, ẃáŕ, Jason wouldnt want that, he wouldnt want civillians to ḍịẹ in his name" TO THIS GRIEVING FATHER—??? absurd. dont even talk to me about the Adam West TV show version of Joker (i miSS HIM AND EARTHA KITT CATWOMAN THE MOST), i miss when he was just a silly goofy guy even more than his agent of chaos phase, ugghhhh.. "Adam West Joker", this man was my Megamind before "Megamind" (minus the whole "happy hero ending with the girl" part). just a dude who never won, always was foiled, up to dasterdly Doofenshmirtz hijinks, no grim-dark wild shit yet. i loved him, i miss him

so my hc doesnt work as well on those variations of the Joker, predominantly "Adam West's Joker" as i sloppily label him (i know its oversimplification shhhhh). buT IT DOES WORK ON GRIM-GRITTY EVIL-MASTERMIND-4D-CHESSMASTER JOKER and thats probably all that matters to these Mediocre White Man Syndrome™ variants. idk

[[ quick, here's an edited bit from a DM where i realize i forgot a point i LOVE about the mystery of who the fuck "Adam West Joker" was: ]]

(which. i forgot to go into that i think there's at least one comic who mentions this brand of Joker in an existential "maybe he isnt a person, maybe he just appeared from the universe. maybe Gotham made bad luck personified" or some shit, im not a big fan of "he is not human"-Joker but i am a fan of "yes, people even thought of the Doofenshmirtz variety of the Joker as more myth than Once Possibly Mundane (even tho he's just a guy that no one knows and that that forensics tech just is incapable of recognizing. meaning this man was so normal before he became This that he was THAT off-grid and unrecognizable, like THAT harmless of a person, like what?? and now people in-comic-world are having such a hard time grappling with these unknowns that they're going "what if he is just not a fucking person. he's murphy from murphy's law. alive. how does anyone beat that" whEN HE IS JUST A GUY?? A GUY THEY JUST KNOW ***NOTHING*** ABOUT?)". i love that version of him. he was my Megamind before "Megamind" lmao (...anyway i might copy & paste this "he's just a guy. it drives them insane that they cant prove that he JUST A GUY that theyre mythologizing him— even before Red Hood lore and grim-dark shit got added" belatedly into that post now. but yeah i just forget from what comic exactly bc ✨️chronic memory loss✨️ + 🌈library🌟 lol rip)

but yeah. i do want to mention the Red Hood thing is kinda new, relatively, to Joker's lore; he was originally a true fucking mystery where we didnt get even THAT vague bit of Red Hood. he just.. showed up. what was his trauma? who knows. why is he like this, why does he look like this?? who knows. like, okay, that's badass and funny as fuck, good for "Adam West Joker", love that. i miss "nobody can find out SHIT about this man" version of Joker so badly; all we know is his "ɗīę laughing" thesis

but yeah. Red Hood (Jason) and Red Hood (Joker) is stiLL SO SO SOOOO important to me that, though im still like "Joker is a total mystery. forensics finds NOTHING on this lil Adam West co-star/pre-Megamind-before-Megamind-but-no-hero-ending of a guy" is a canon multi-verse version of Joker to me, i happily accept that Red Hood is a part of "agent of chaos" Joker's lore and "grim-dark mastermind" Joker's lore. 2 out of 3 aint bad. but my hc about Joker going all 🔫 "fix. me." to Prof Pyg works A+ in grim-dark Joker lore. and my hesitation about "agent of chaos Joker lore" is that, to MEEEE, my Pyg hc only works if its "agent of chaos Joker lore after Jason Todd đīēđ (or at least, like, if he started just before Jason ḍịẹḍ and was building up to Jason's said ɗęąţĥ); bc before JT ðıəð/before Joker started building up to brutalize Jason like that, Joker wasnt AS vîôłêňť as he became to be known as... (still massively violent. but not AS much, like he was a bit of clutching-his-punched-gut "they'll all see" type for a bit beforehand if i recall accurately.) but post-JT? yeah, my Pyg hc could quickly apply". so again: 2 out of 3 multi-verse variants? aint bad, ill take that happily

but yeah, feel free to adopt my hc for any time someone goes "he's Jack Oswald White/Jack Napier/Arthur Fleck/whoever-the-fuck", thats what i do. bc then, yeah, "they're all Joker" but also none of them are with this Ship Of Theseus hc. whos the victim, whos real? nobody knows. my preference is obviously "all the people science has found have only been victims; nobody has found the og Joker's true identity" bc i liKED THAT MYSTERY AND THIS IS ME RET-CONNING IT. but i gUESS if you had a favorite version of "who is the real Joker" then the og COULD be that one. but like. why would you?? the mystery is so much better (...tO ME, but whatever), like imagine a Spencer Reid type of guy coming out and "actually, considering the commonalities in how all these people disappeared? implies they were ALL likely victims of Pyg and Joker. for years, we were arguing and accusing the victims of being the murder; it's probably the Joker's biggest, cruellest joke. because, really, we're back where we started. nobody truly knows the real name of the man who 'collaborated' with Pyg for the first time. and we may very well never know". like? how does that not excite the fuck out of you so much more?? headcanons are headcanon, but yours baffles me if you prefer Knowing The Joker's True Name to any of the variant versions or my hc version of Nobody Knows Who The Joker Is Or Where He Came From. jac is so super right, i love her

anyway. uh. pray the universe gives me a medical treatment That Fucking Works at nullifying my chronic illness symptoms if you want this fanfic to ever be a thing so i can write this plot-twist of a hc about "who is the Joker" into a story. feel free to adopt the hc tho. i ask vaguely for credit if you want to copy my hc one-for-one, but MOSTLY what i want is to be @'ed so i can squeal and giggle and see what you made lmao

but i dont anticipate this hc will go viral or something. very unlikely, in my mind. im just saying that as a safety-net in this proverbial trapeze act of a post lol

buT ALSO THANK YOU JAC FOR EVERYTHING YOU SAID ON TWO-FACE, I COULD NOT AGREE MORE. i went from a Joker fan to ".....ew too many people like the Joker in ways i dont, i feel gross now, i need a shower" and came out the other side of that as a Bruce Wayne/Batman × Harvey Dent/Two-Face truther bc they are doomed yaoi in the silliest and most tragic of senses, theyre foils, your honor, i love them (also if we are gonna keep Catwoman × Batman going, imma need sO MANY MORE PEOPLE from both DC and fans being inspired by Eartha Kitt's Catwoman design bc Eartha Kitt is a badass, go look her up, find out why she got replaced as Catwoman on the Adam West "Batman" show, ive been obsessed with this woman since i was like 8 years old and the world neeDS TO JUMP ON MY BANDWAGON ALREADY. i need more Black, Eartha-Kitt-looking Catwoman in my life stat aND, BATCAT, MY LIFE WILL BE YOURS) ....anyway, go watch Jac's video, go give her views, comments, engagement, she's so great and i want to (a) see her do more Gotham FYP skits (tho the Mob Waitress one is so close to a Gotham absurdism that i am happy with that, Jac, dont think i dont get excited when that series appears on my fyp) and (b) do more Batman breakdowns, bc i love hearing women of all backgrounds talk comics, comic-movies, comic-shows— but esp girly-girls. it itches my brain. i need more of it. go give her love, immediately, please

[polaroidpascal]

i've rarely, if ever, explored the world of dark!joel fics... but holy. fucking. shit. i've been struggling to put the words together to explain the way this makes me feel, and it only gets stronger and stronger with the more you decide to share with me. like... i am so fucking invested in this. i wish there was a way i could just pluck my heart out and translate the physical feeling into words or like a visual but i literally can't, IT'S JUST TOO MUCH 😭😭😭

ANYWAYYYSSS... i am sooo fucking excited for more of this. i'm so invested. i'm on edge. i'm holding my breath. i'm falling for him when there is LITERALLY no reason to. i'm deluding myself into thinking he's not that evil but man, oh man, i know he is, like sooo evil. BEYOND evil. and he is also beyond saving, truly.

winter, i bow down to you 🧎‍♀️

it’s not like she’s winning the “mom of the year” award any time soon, either. She’s never even been nominated.

the "she's never even been nominated” made me giggle 😭

You sit cross-legged, elbows propped up on your knees so that your hands can support your weary head, the skin of your palms becoming slippery with salty tears as your crying just doesn’t seem to stop. The road you’ve found yourself on seems relatively low-trafficked, the heaving sounds of your sobs accompanied by more cricket chirps and rustling wheat than rumbling tires.

idk why i could see this so clearly in my head and it made me so sad. like my chest started getting achey i was like :( i feel like i AM her fr

He’s probably just somebody’s harmless grandfather, anyway, judging by his motheaten flannel and gray-stricken beard you can see now that you’ve approached his truck a few paces closer.

JUST SOMEBODY'S HARMLESS GRANDFATHER AIDUBFAKJSDBF

Joel is lucky that all he came away from it with is that ugly little scar that mars the bridge of his nose. He can’t say the same for her.

ohhhhhh my god... making his nose scar be from one of his victims... and from her specifically... oh my fucking GOD.

You suppose that’s what you’ve been needing all this time, someone to guide you and understand you and at least pretend like they care about you.

hello yes i am in this fic and i don't like it 🧎‍♀️ i literally stepped back for a sec i was like woah.

The last room they had, yeah, right. You’re just the most pathetic little thing, aren’t you? You’ll believe just about anything that comes out of his mouth if he turns up the ‘southern charm’ dial a few ticks, throws in a feigned apologetic-looking expression for good measure. It’s sad, really. For you, anyway.

HELLO YES I AM IN THIS FIC AND I DONT LIKE ITTT 😭😭😭

That’s what the others would have done. It’s what they have done. And they faced the consequences.

the panic i got from this... and she's not even awake. and these are just his thoughts. she has no fucking idea... oh my god. 😵‍💫

In the morning, if you do remember any of it, you’ll just chalk it up to a very strange dream, one fueled by the desire he knows you’ve felt towards him since he picked you up. You’ll be left with a strange assuredness that he feels the same way about you, without really knowing why.  But Joel will always know.

he knows her type too good. he knows exactly what will happen. and then it fucking DOES. joel will always. know.

What you are certain of is that neither of you ever have to go back to that town ever again, and that feels good, too. And if it feels good, then it can’t be bad.

if it feels good, then it can't be bad oh my god you really do want me dead winter. i'm on the floor. i'm going through every emotion humanly possible rn.

again i'm so in awe at this bc i don't typically read fics like this... but holy fucking shit. i'm just in awe at you. i'm so sat for more of this. once again saying that i can't even describe how this has captivated me. i wanna give your brain a big old kiss 🧎‍��️

strangers | part 1

summary: following in the footsteps of a girl you once knew, you decide to up and leave home one morning without looking back. when you find yourself to be tired, hungry, and alone in the middle of nowhere, you're thankful when a kind stranger offers you a ride, a warm meal, and a place to sleep for the night. he only tells you about himself in bits and pieces, but he seems trustworthy enough, and what you don't know can't hurt you, right?

!!PLEASE READ WARNINGS, THIS IS A VERY DARK FIC!!

I've tried to label this fic as detailed and as boldly as possible. I will not be held responsible or bullied off the internet if you choose to read this potentially upsetting/triggering work of fiction anyway.

warnings: joel miller x f!reader, 18+, smut, age gap (reader is college-aged, joel is mid-50s), no outbreak au, serial killer!joel, dark!joel, talk of death/murder and blood, mommy & daddy issues, brief talk of domestic violence, lying/gaslighting, manipulation, f-receiving non-con somnophilia (no sex, but groping, fingering, dry humping, kissing, and choking), degrading language toward victims, pet names (baby, darlin', sweetheart), some joel pov, no ellie/sarah but tommy has an unnamed daughter, somewhat inspired by "strangers" by ethel cain, takes place in illinois/ohio/indiana, vaguely set in the 70s/80s, this part is mostly introduction/storytelling/yapping, please respectfully let me know if i missed anything and i will rectify the tags

word count: 9.8k

a/n: i started this as a oneshot way back in november, and then it sat abandoned for a very long time. thank you to my lovely friends @polaroidpascal and @chippedowlmug for encouraging me to finish it, and also bestie kiers who never hesitates to match my freak. also thank you to the many writers who made me feel inspired to write something dark and not give a fuck what people think about it. i hope you enjoy this joel he's a freak and i love him and if you say anything mean about him i'll send him after you <3

divider by @saradika

part 2 coming 8/16

Ruby Carpenter.

You had spent all day trying to remember her name without really knowing why. Maybe it’s because as the sun sets on what would be the first day of your junior year at the nearby state school, you wonder if she ever made it to one of the fancy ivy leagues she had always aspired to attend. You wonder if she’s even still alive.

Ruby had disappeared a few years ago now, the summer after your senior year of high school. For nearly a year afterwards, her missing posters remained stapled onto every telephone pole and stuck onto every store window around town, until the paper began to disintegrate and the ink began to fade. In that time, you couldn’t even make a quick run to the grocery store without being confronted by dozens of replicas of her yearbook photo printed onto the sides of all the milk cartons. Despite all of the efforts to find her, including several search parties and a decent amount of statewide media coverage, everyone had just stopped looking for her, eventually. Even the police. Even her parents.

It was decided that she had probably just run away, and you can’t entirely blame her, but you can’t imagine why she would, either. You remember her perfect head of blonde ringlet curls that shone a yellow gold in the sun, and her bright blue eyes that turned fiery in her more passionate moments during classroom debates. She had every boy in your grade wrapped around her finger, was the teacher’s pet in every class, and it wasn’t even a question whether she would win prom queen your senior year. She was always sweet to you, always complimented your outfits or your makeup or your art projects with a genuine lilt in her voice and a kind smile, so you could never bring yourself to hate her even though it would’ve been so easy to. You figured she was going to cure cancer or become the president after you had all graduated, which is why you never really stopped wondering whatever happened to her that summer. She was beautiful, with boundless potential and a bright future ahead of her, why would she have just given it all up?

Everyone around town knew Ruby, or at least it seemed that way. But maybe nobody ever really knew her as well as they thought. Maybe she’d had a secret boyfriend all that time who whisked her away that summer, maybe she had decided to try drugs and fell down a rabbit hole that she couldn’t claw her way out of, maybe she had finally figured out that the only thing this town would ever be good for is holding people back. Maybe she did just wake up one day and decide to run without ever looking behind her.

Maybe you should do the same.

With your dad long gone now and your step-father doing a piss poor job of filling in the hole he left, following in Ruby’s footsteps has sounded like a better idea with each passing day. Rob isn’t even really your step-father, anyway, just your mom’s sorry fucking excuse for a boyfriend. The guy’s already been married upwards of three times before, why try for another one? He’s a lazy son of a bitch who can’t hold down a job at a fast food joint for more than a couple of weeks at a time, who sleeps every second of the day that he’s not chugging through a six pack, and who leaves marks on your mother uglier than his fucking face. 

She doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, of course, but it’s not like she’s winning the “mom of the year” award any time soon, either. She’s never even been nominated. She’s forgotten just about every one of your birthdays, been the reason you’ve never had any friends come over, and in her most recent offense, blew all the savings you had put away for your last two years of college. Which is why you’re not spending tonight celebrating being one year closer to at least having an official-looking piece of paper to show for yourself. Instead, you’re using the rattling of your bedroom window unit and the booming bass of your radio to drown out yet another drunken screaming match between your mother and the guy she lets live in your house now, watching the world outside pass you by and knowing that if you don’t do anything about it now, you’ll never make it out of here. You’re thinking about Ruby Carpenter, hoping she found somewhere greener and more promising and was able to make something of herself, far away from here. And you’re thinking that this rusted orange sunset is the last one you’ll ever see from your bedroom window.

It’s decided, then. You’re leaving, first thing tomorrow.

—

You’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep by the time your alarm clock chimes to life at five o’clock on the dot. You’re quick to silence the shrill beeping with a swift swat of your hand, careful not to wake anyone else in the house. The sun has just barely begun to stream in through the blinds of your bedroom window, but it illuminates the room just enough for your eyes to land on the backpack you had stuffed full of a few changes of clothes last night, waiting for you by the door. 

You don’t waste any time stripping off your pajamas and pulling on just about the only clothes left in your room that aren’t in your bag. You’ve got your teeth brushed, face washed, and hair tamed in all of about ten minutes, too anxious to spend even one more unnecessary second in this house. You swing your backpack over your shoulder, pull your bedroom door open at just the right speed so that the hinges don’t squeak too loud, and tiptoe delicately down the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards that you know like the back of your hand—the one three steps from the top, the one at the landing about halfway down, and the very bottom one.

You land softly when you leap over that tattletale bottom step, successful in the most difficult part of your escape plan so far. Rob is passed out on the living room couch in typical fashion, his mouth full of crooked teeth hanging open as his grating snores permeate the calm morning air. He’s still got a death grip around an empty beer can, even in his sleep, and your mother will likely be the one to toss it into the trash for him, useless fucker that he is. You aren’t going to miss either of them, and you imagine they’ll just skip trying to replicate the first half of the aftermath of Ruby’s disappearance altogether—no posters, no search parties, no police. You’ll just be gone, one less mouth for your mother to feed. Though, you’d been mostly feeding yourself since you were tall enough to slide a couple of bills across the counter at the corner store down the street, anyway. You’re ready to disappear, the same as candle wax when it burns, the same as the end of a rainbow, the same as Ruby Carpenter.

You don’t bother looking back when you shut the door behind you, content to leave it all behind just as the sun begins to rise and set the sky ablaze. By the time it sets again tonight, you hope to be in a different county, in a different state, anywhere that isn’t here. The rest, you’ll just have to figure out when you get there, wherever “there” may be.

—

You had only realized about an hour ago that you’d forgotten your cheap digital watch in the drawer of your bedside table, where it’s laid unused for the past couple of months, because who needs to tell time during the summer? You never had anywhere to be, never had to get to class or turn in a paper by a certain time, so it’s just been collecting dust since you had unclipped it from your wrist on the last day of spring semester. It sure would have come in handy right about now, when you have no fucking clue what time it is. The sun had disappeared behind the hills several mile markers back, so it must be… eight o’clock? Ten o’clock? Fucking midnight? You have no idea. What you do know is that you’re exhausted, hungry, and your feet hurt like hell. You aren’t really sure what you expected, the reality only just now setting in that you don’t even have ten bucks to your name anymore, thanks to your narcissist of a mother. The crumpled up bills you do have in your pocket are hardly enough for a goddamn sandwich, let alone a motel room. The cool night breeze raises goosebumps on your skin, and you swear you can see your fucking breath, even in the middle of August. You wrap your arms around yourself just as tears begin to prick at your waterlines, and you let them fall as you collapse onto the scratchy patch of dead grass on the side of the freeway, not a park bench or a bus stop or even a gas station in sight for God knows how many more miles.

You sit cross-legged, elbows propped up on your knees so that your hands can support your weary head, the skin of your palms becoming slippery with salty tears as your crying just doesn’t seem to stop. The road you’ve found yourself on seems relatively low-trafficked, the heaving sounds of your sobs accompanied by more cricket chirps and rustling wheat than rumbling tires. But a few high beams do streak across your vision every once in a while, coloring the backs of your eyelids a flaming scarlet.

After several minutes, your tears seem to dry up on their own, your body likely too dehydrated now to produce any more. You wipe the moisture from under your eyes with the back of your hand, sniffling as you gnaw at the skin of your bottom lip and debate if you should just turn back now, give up on your stupid little plan (or lack thereof) and just call the whole thing a loss, pretend it never even happened. Your mother and Rob won’t have even noticed you’d left.

Just as you pull yourself back up to your feet, set on at least finding somewhere that isn’t the hard ground to sleep on tonight before you make your way back home tomorrow, the warm headlights of an old pickup truck are shining bright in your eyes. You put your arm up to block them as the truck slowly squeals to a halt in front of where you’re standing, and you squint your eyes at the driver as your vision adjusts.

“You need a ride, sweetheart?” A man asks in a gravelly voice, and you can still hardly make out what he looks like. Based on the southern accent you pick up on, he doesn’t sound like he’s from around here. 

“N-no, thank you. I’m okay,” you respond shakily, taking a nervous step back from the stranger and his rusted pickup.

“You sure? Looked like you were cryin’ over here, like you might be lost or somethin’.”

“‘M not lost, I know where I’m going.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s that?”

Shit. 

You take a guess.

“Um… the motel down the road,” you reply, tilting your head in the direction you had been walking in.

“There ain’t a motel down there, sweetheart. Ain’t nothin’ in either direction for miles, ‘s all just farmland out here. Reckon you’ve already figured that out, though.”

You pause, unsure of what your next move should be. He knows you’re lying, knows you’re alone with no fucking idea where you are or where you’re going. You could run, but even that shitty truck of his could catch up to you in a matter of seconds. You take another step back, swiveling your head around to look up and down the road as you try to figure your best way out of this.

“Just lemme give you a ride somewhere, darlin’. There’s a diner just off the exit, ‘bout twenty miles up ahead. Could take you that far, at least, get you somethin’ to eat,” he offers. A warm meal does sound pretty good right now, and you suppose you aren’t exactly in a position to refuse his help.

You think on it for a second. “What’s it called? The diner.”

The stranger huffs. “Moody’s.”

“What do they have?” you challenge.

He sighs. “It’s a fuckin’ diner off the side of the freeway, darlin’. They got greasy food and black coffee, ‘s about all you need.”

You don’t say anything.

Then, after a beat��“They got some kinda sloppy mess they call the Thunder Burger. ‘S got onion rings and shit on it. Ain’t half bad.”

You have to admit, he’s passing your pop quiz with flying colors. His answers have been too quick, too specific for him to be lying to you. There’s a pretty solid chance this diner does exist, and that he’s been there before. The man hasn’t said anything that’s indicated he wants more to do with you than to offer you a ride and some dinner. He’s probably just somebody’s harmless grandfather, anyway, judging by his motheaten flannel and gray-stricken beard you can see now that you’ve approached his truck a few paces closer.

“Okay,” you concede, your stomach growling loudly as the man leans over the bench seat to pop open the passenger side door for you. You shrug off your backpack and climb into the cabin, clicking your seatbelt into place as you situate yourself on the cracked leather seat. 

“All set?” the stranger asks.

“Mhm,” you hum, finally getting a better look at the man you might just owe the rest of your life to after tonight. For being somebody’s grandfather, he’s… kinda handsome. Really fucking handsome, actually, in a rugged sort of way. He’s got warm amber eyes that sparkle even in the dark of night, a kind smile that completely disarms you in an instant, and a splintering scar across the bridge of his nose that somehow only adds to his good looks. You try to suppress your own grin as you look away from him quickly, opting to focus on fidgeting with one of the fraying edges of your denim shorts instead. Even in your peripheral vision, you don’t miss how his eyes shift from your own to the exposed skin of your thighs. He doesn’t say anything, just clears his throat as he shifts gears and steers his truck back onto the road again. 

He lets the next few minutes pass in comfortable silence before asking, “You got a name, sweetheart?”

You tell him, and he flashes another charming smile at you. “I like that, ‘s pretty… Well, I’m Joel. Sure you were wonderin’. Now you ain’t gettin’ a ride from a stranger no more, are ya?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m not,” you giggle, and you’re surprised at how comfortable you feel with him. “So… you’ve been to Moody’s before?”

“Handful of times, yeah. When I’m passin’ through.”

You nod. “So you come up here, like… for work or somethin’?”

Joel chuckles. “Or somethin’. You never even heard of the damn place, so… reckon you don’t find yourself out here very often, do ya?”

“No… ‘M not even really sure where ‘here’ is, to be honest. I just kinda… started walking.”

“Ah… a runaway, then, are ya?” Joel asks, with an appreciated amount of understanding in his tone rather than judgment. “‘M sure your folks are missin’ ya right about now, must have your boyfriend worried sick.”

You scoff at that. “Fuck no. They probably don’t even know I’m gone, won’t even bother trying to come look for me. And I don’t have a boyfriend, so…”

“Damn shame. ‘M sorry about that, sweetheart,” Joel comforts, placing a large calloused hand on your thigh. It makes your breath hitch, but his touch isn’t entirely unwelcome. You let him squeeze once at the plush of your leg before he replaces his hand on the wheel, and your cunt spasms out a little fluttering pulse against the seam of your shorts, despite yourself.

The rest of the drive to Moody’s is relatively quiet, save for the gentle crooning of an old country singer emanating from the cassette player on the dash. The soft singing and steady strumming of a banjo combined with the muffled chugging of the truck’s engine is enough to lull you to sleep, especially after the day you’ve had. You know that just about every mental alarm bell you have should be screaming at you to jump out of the car, to run, that sleeping alone in the dirt would’ve been a better decision than getting into this strange man’s—Joel’s—truck, but you’re too tired to hear them. He smells good, like woodsmoke and pine and cinnamon, and if he wanted to do something awful to you, he probably would’ve done it by now. So you trust him, for now at least, and let your lashes fan out against your cheeks as your head falls back against the cushioned headrest, coaxed into sleep by the lullaby of tires against pavement and fingertips against guitar strings.

—

You only rouse when you feel the truck come to a stop about half an hour or so later, slowly blinking your eyes open against the bright neon sign that reads “MOODY’S” in bold capital letters. Your jaw stretches wide as a yawn overtakes the muscles, and you hear Joel’s southern drawl replace the one from the cassette as he shuts the engine off.

“Mornin’, sleepyhead. Not too tired to eat somethin’ now, are ya?”

Another unpleasant-sounding rumble from your empty stomach answers for you, loud enough for both of you to hear this time. The air puffing out of the diner’s kitchen smells strongly of fatty bacon and rich coffee, just like Joel had promised you the place would offer. Although the digital clock on the dash read just after 10:30 before you fell asleep, you’ve never craved breakfast quite like you do right now. You absentmindedly lick your lips as you imagine the sweet and savory—and more importantly free—meal that could be waiting for you beyond that blinding beacon of a sign.

“Well, alright then. Let’s get some food in ya before you keel over, hm?” Joel says as he exits the truck, landing on his feet in the dirt parking lot with a soft groan. He waits by the hood for you to meet up with him, and you walk up the couple of steps to the entrance together. He holds the door open for you, and you offer him a shy ‘thank you’, to which he responds with a soft spoken ‘welcome, sweetheart’. You stand shyly behind his broad form as he asks the hostess for a table for two, and she leads you to a green leather booth tucked into the corner of the diner. She hands each of you a sticky laminated menu, the pages a charming mess of clashing colors and faded pictures and retro-looking fonts, then departs with a promise that your waitress will bring the two of you some water as you take your time deciding on what you might like. 

You light up upon reading that Moody’s serves breakfast all day, and that they can make you exactly what you were hoping for—a stack of chocolate chip pancakes with sides of bacon and hashbrowns. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you wiggle in your seat, excitedly anticipating the waitress to come back around so you can order.

“Whatcha so excited about over there?” Joel asks, eyeing you from across the table as he glances up from his own menu.

“Nothin’, I was just hoping I could get some pancakes, and they have ‘em on the menu,” you explain giddily. “I’ll probably get some coffee, too, really complete the whole ‘breakfast for dinner’ thing.”

Joel huffs through his nose. “Decaf, I hope. ‘S the middle of the goddamn night, sweetheart. Gonna be bouncin’ off the walls in the room later, hardly get any sleep.”

He’s right, you suppose. But wait—“What room?”

Joel shrugs casually. “There’s a decent motel another exit or two down, figured they could probably get us a couple o’ beds for the night. But, ‘m sorry, shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No! No, it’s okay.”

Is it? You only met the man less than an hour ago, and you already agreed to let him give you a ride before you even knew his name. You suppose you hadn’t really thought about what would happen after he bought you dinner, but not thinking ahead seems to have been a theme today, hasn’t it? You remind yourself that he’s only been kind and respectful to you so far, save for that placement of his hand on your upper thigh soon after he picked you up. But that could’ve just been a friendly, paternal gesture, right? And he said a couple of beds, when he mentioned the motel, which seemed to imply that he plans on the two of you sleeping in separate beds, maybe even separate rooms. You’ve found yourself having to make yet another somewhat reckless decision tonight, but one that would be in your best interest to say ‘yes’ to, at this point. What other option would you have if you declined his offer?

“Don’t really have anywhere else to go, so… yeah, okay. Motel sounds good. And decaf it is, I guess.”

Joel’s apologetic expression quickly morphs into a satisfied smirk. “Good girl,” he praises. You like how the words sound coated in his thick drawl, even though you probably shouldn’t. You shift where you sit as that familiar fluttering sensation returns to the seat of your panties, just for a moment. You’re grateful that the waitress arrives at the booth not a second later, cheerily introducing herself as she sets down a glass of water for each of you. When she asks if you’re ready to order, Joel gestures to you as if to say ‘ladies first’, and you politely prattle off your request. You make sure to emphasize that you’d like your coffee decaf, and ask if she could please bring some more of the little cups of vanilla creamer to the table. “Not a problem, honey,” she replies, and Joel winks at you as she asks what she can get for him. He orders the Thunder Burger he had told you about earlier, and a black coffee, which he doesn’t request to be decaf. The waitress leaves the two of you alone again with an ‘I’ll have that right out for ya,’ and you let your eyes follow the calming baby blue color of her dress as she glides her way back to the kitchen. When she disappears around the corner of the bar, you take the opportunity to study Moody’s other patrons. There isn’t another young person in sight, mostly just men around Joel’s age with similarly heavy bags under their eyes, likely truck drivers indulging in their first hot meal of the day within the diner’s comforting wood-paneled walls. You wonder if that’s how Joel knows about this place, because he “passes through” this area on long hauls across the midwest. You open your mouth to ask him if your assumption is correct, but he cuts you off before you can say anything.

“I gotta admit, sweetheart, I’m curious… The hell was a pretty thing like you doin’ out in the middle of goddamn nowhere tonight? I mean, I know you’re a runaway ‘n all, but… shouldn’t you be one o’ those college party girls or somethin’? ‘M sure you got plenty of friends wonderin’ where you are.”

You sigh, shaking your head as you distractedly pick at a splintered piece of wood at the edge of the table.

“I was in college. Was supposed to be going back again this year, but… my mom spent all the fucking savings I had left for the rest of it on fixing up her dumb boyfriend’s car. It’s just been sitting in the fucking lawn all summer, sure as hell not being used for something useful like going to the job he doesn’t have. That bastard…” You say the last part under your breath through gritted teeth.

“Shit… Tha’s a tough deal, baby, ‘m real sorry to hear that,” Joel comforts. “But y’know, everybody’s got mommy ‘n daddy issues, don’t mean you just up and start walkin’ all by your lonesome, not even have any idea where you’re goin’.”

“Well, it wasn’t just that. There was… nevermind, it’s stupid.” You slump into the cushioned booth, silently cursing yourself for even bringing it up.

“What is it?” Joel pushes, sitting up straighter to show you that he wants to listen, wants to get to know you. And God dammit, he might be the first person you’ve met in a long time who actually seems to care about what you have to say, as strange as it is. You flick your eyes up to his face, and he’s wearing a sincere gaze that convinces you to continue.

“There was this girl I went to high school with. She disappeared a couple of years ago, nobody ever found out what happened to her. People figured she probably just ran away, and I thought… I dunno. That maybe she had the right idea, leaving that place behind. I always held onto this hope that maybe she was still out there somewhere actually doing something with her life, that maybe she just changed her name or something and disappeared on purpose.” You pause. “I guess I just thought I might be able to do the same, if I left.”

“I see…” Joel muses sympathetically. “Maybe I oughta give you a lil’ more credit, then. Must’a been tough losin’ a friend like that, not knowin’ where she ended up.”

“I mean, Ruby wasn’t really my friend. She just—”

“Hang on. Ruby, you said?” Joel interrupts, his eyes suddenly looking a little wild.

“...Yeah. Her name was Ruby. Ruby Carpenter.”

—

Fuck.

Joel has to adjust himself under the table, his dick now hardening uncomfortably in his jeans at just the mention of her name. He remembers Ruby, remembers chuckling to himself when he realized the irony of her name matching the color of her blood, remembers watching the news coverage of her disappearance in this very same diner, those handful of years ago. She was a sweet thing, he remembers this, too. It was a shame she had ended up being such a fighter, that she had to get put down the way she did. But she shouldn’t have thrown that fucking rock at his face, called him a sick fuck and a freak as she made her pitiful little escape attempt. Joel is lucky that all he came away from it with is that ugly little scar that mars the bridge of his nose. He can’t say the same for her.

“Why? You heard her name before?” You ask him, an unfortunate little twinkle of hope in your eyes.

“Maybe.” Yes. “Sounds a lil’ familiar, might remember hearin’ about it on the news or somethin’.”

That goddamn news coverage sure as hell taught him a lesson. Joel had spent months trying to keep the cops off his fucking tail after he had dumped her body on some forgettable patch of land behind an old decaying barn. He had even gotten pulled in for a fucking interview at the station in what he now presumes to be your hometown, where they had questioned him for an hour or so about her disappearance. He still isn’t sure how he talked his way out of that one. Ruby might not have been good for much else, other than pissing him the hell off with all of her pathetic crying and begging to just please, please let me go back home, but she did help him perfect his craft, he can give her that much. It’s because of her that Joel makes certain now that any girl he picks up doesn’t have anybody who will miss her or plaster her face on every local channel or send out goddamn search parties to find her. Girls like you.

You’re just so perfect, it would be so fucking easy for him to make you disappear for good, it’s almost comical. It had hardly taken any convincing at all to get you to climb into his truck, had taken even less to get you to agree to go to some seedy ass motel with him that might not even exist, for all you know. It does, but you didn’t even try to test him about it this time, just put all of your trust in him like a stray puppy would to the first person to pick it up off the street. That is just about what you are, he supposes. So far, you seem like the perfect candidate to become his little captive pet. If you keep it up, maybe you won’t meet the same fate as the rest of them. He’d told himself he’d be done after the last one, anyway, his body too old and achy and slow now to chase after the ones who put up a little more fight, like she had. She’d nearly escaped, made it a decent way through the woods and almost reached the main road before tripping on an exposed root and snapping her ankle. He remembers how weak and scared she’d looked before he’d used his knife to put her out of her misery, and it makes his dick twitch. Joel doesn’t plan on snuffing you out, not right now at least, since you haven’t given him a reason to. But his fingers still twitch where they rest on the table, moving out of instinct as he can’t help but imagine what they’d look like wrapped so tightly around your little throat. Would you cry? Would you beg? Would you pray? Would he have to glide his blade across your vocal chords just to get you to stop screaming so fucking loud? He wonders.

“Oh… Was that one of the times you were just ‘passin’ through’ for whatever reason you haven’t told me yet?”

Joel hadn’t realized that his eyes had been unfocused for so long, or that he’d been holding his breath, or that his hand had been squeezing his glass of water so hard he’s glad it hadn’t shattered. The airy sound of your voice brings him back to reality, and he huffs a light chuckle as he fixes his face into a more pleasant expression. 

“Yeah, ‘spose it was.” 

You roll your eyes at him playfully. “Come on, Joel. I just told you, like, my whole sob story. I feel like I deserve to know at least one thing about you now.”

You have a point.

He gives in. “Fine. I got a brother, used to come through this area when I’d pay him a visit. That good enough for ya?”

You cross your arms. “No. What’s his name?”

“Tommy.”

“What’s he look like?”

“Like me. Little younger. Little uglier.”

You laugh at that.

It makes Joel smile.

Maybe you could be the one he’s been looking for all this time. Too bad he had to waste so many others before he finally got to you.

—

The waitress comes back to your table soon after that, with your steaming plates of delicious-smelling food and hot mugs of coffee balanced expertly on a large plastic tray. She sets them down in front of the pair of you with a cheery smile, and you thank her happily when she doesn’t forget the extra sickeningly sweet cups of creamer you had requested. Joel doesn’t take his eyes off you once during the interaction, not even to feast his eyes upon the monstrous burger now sitting before him, not even as he thanks the waitress for delivering it to him. His lingering gaze makes you feel a little warm, but it could just be from the heat radiating off of your plates.

“What? You’re not getting a bite of mine, if that’s why you’re looking at me,” you tease, already getting to work putting the sugary creamer to good use.

Joel just shakes his head, his caramel colored eyes still never leaving you as your coffee begins to resemble their hue. “No, ‘s not why.”

“Whatever,” you reply through a giggle, making a poor attempt to hide your girlish grin behind the lip of your white ceramic mug. 

The two of you eat your meals in relative silence, mostly enjoying each other’s company and basking in the relaxing ambience created by silverware tapping against porcelain, hushed conversations, and the local country station playing through the old radio sitting on the counter. The reception is a little spotty way out here in wherever the hell you are, so you can’t quite tell what song it is. But Joel seems to know, judging by the rhythmic bouncing of his knee under the table that creates little circular ripples in your coffee. Maybe you’ll ask him what it is later, how he knows it, if you can listen to it again in the truck together. He doesn’t seem to be as much of an open book as you’ve already given yourself away to be, and you respect that about him. It doesn’t make you any less curious, but you resign yourself to getting to know him better in the small doses he’s willing to offer you. 

You decide to begin a mental list of all the things you want to ask him later, knowing that by the time you make it to the motel tonight, you’ll be far too exhausted to do anything more than just collapse onto the springy mattress and sleep until you get kicked out of the room the next morning. You almost wish you hadn’t listened to Joel’s request for you to take your coffee decaffeinated tonight, and you still aren’t quite sure why you did. It just feels so strangely easy to give into him, to trust him, to let him make decisions for you. You suppose that’s what you’ve been needing all this time, someone to guide you and understand you and at least pretend like they care about you. Joel has shown you more concern and care and protection in the last hour or so than either of your parents have pretty much your whole life. And he’s good at this, making you feel wanted, making you feel like somebody, even in subtle ways, just by looking at you.

“A’right, why don’t you finish up, darlin’, ‘n we’ll hit the road again. Practically usin’ your pancakes as a pillow over there.”

“Oh, sorry,” you apologize sleepily, waking yourself up enough to make quick work finishing off your plate and your last few sips of coffee. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout, sweetheart. Lord knows you need some rest, won’t be too much longer now,” Joel assures, fishing a few tens out of his faded leather wallet and placing them on the table. He slides to the edge of the booth and stands himself up with only a few pained noises as he straightens out his back, then offers his hand for you to take. You use it as leverage to pull yourself upright, and your hands linger in each other’s hold for a few seconds longer than they need to. The hostess thanks the two of you for stopping in when you pass her by, and Joel opens the door for you again as you leave Moody’s. He opens the truck door for you, too, and promises you that the motel is just another couple of minutes down the freeway. You make an effort to stay awake in your seat this time as Joel begins the drive, opting to gaze out the window and focus on trying to make out the sparkling constellations above the treeline. You smile privately at the moon when you find that she’s following closely behind you just as she always does, bright and full. 

She doesn’t leave your side until you reach the unassuming little roadside motel, which to your gratitude, proudly displays their vacancy on the flickering sign in the parking lot. It doesn’t look like a five star joint by any means, but you know it will serve its purpose just fine. Joel instructs you to stay in the truck while he goes about getting a room for the two of you, and you don’t object. He’d insisted that you didn’t need to be on your feet any longer than you already had been today, and you were too tired to argue with him even if you wanted to. When he returns, he taps lightly on the passenger side window so as not to startle you from the half-asleep, half-awake state you’ve found yourself in, and swings your backpack over his shoulder as he helps you out of the truck. He leads you to the room at the end of the row, and the door takes some finessing of the key and a shove of his shoulder to open. Joel flicks on the light, and you let out a disappointed-sounding ‘oh…’ when it reveals your accommodations.

There aren’t two beds like you had assumed Joel was going to request. There’s only one.

Joel catches your reaction. “‘S this gonna be alright? I know it ain’t the Ritz Carlton, but—”

“No, the room’s fine, it’s not that. I just thought… I just assumed that… I didn’t know it was gonna be, like… just the one bed.” You try to explain your discomfort as gently as possible, without seeming ungrateful for everything Joel has done for you tonight.

He looks at you sympathetically. “I know, I ain’t tryin’ anythin’, I swear. Guy told me it was the last room they had, jus’ figured it was better than nothin’.” 

You offer him a soft smile, but your eyes must still look a little wide as you begin to nervously pick at your fingernails. Joel continues, “I can take the chair if you want, darlin’. Get the bed all to yourself, how’s that sound?”

You visibly relax at that, your shoulders deflating as your smile becomes a little more genuine. “Okay, that’s good. Thank you.”

“‘Course, sweetheart. How’s about you take a nice hot shower, rinse off some o’ that dirt you picked up from walkin’ all day… Don’t suppose you got some suitable clothes in here for sleepin’ in?” Joel asks, handing your backpack off to you.

You shake your head. “Just some jeans and t-shirts, and another pair of shoes. And… y’know, some underwear, and stuff.”

Joel pinches the bridge of his nose, then rubs his fingers across his forehead exasperatedly. “I swear… it’s like you didn’t think there’d be a tomorrow or somethin’, girl. Christ.” Joel looks out the window to his truck parked just outside. “Tell you what, think I got somethin’ in the truck you can wear. Why don’t you see if they got anythin’ on the TV tha’s worth a damn, ‘n I’ll be back, alright?”

You nod, “Okay,” then set your backpack down on the drab carpet in favor of picking up the remote perched in front of the small square television. You sit yourself down on the edge of the bed as Joel leaves the room, and begin to flick through the few channels that aren’t just a screen full of snowy static.

Local news. Commercial. Game show. Commercial. Documentary. Commercial. 

Eventually, you land on what seems to be one of those old black-and-white western shows that you can never remember the name of. You only know that the reruns used to play on Sundays around lunchtime, because Rob would always be half paying attention to it with a beer in his hand when you and your mom would get home from church. For how adamant she was that you attend every weekend, she sure never called him a harlot and a sinner for not wanting to go with her. You’re not sure she had ever even tried to get him to go, but he probably didn’t own anything decent enough to wear, anyway. Whatever, fuck them. The show seems like the kind of thing Joel would like, so you let it keep playing. 

He comes back a moment later with a small stack of folded up clothes, tossing them over to where you sit on the bed. You unfold what he’s given you and examine them—a pair of simple pink cotton shorts, and a white tank top with a ditsy floral pattern scattered across the fabric. The clothing is a little more revealing than you’d like, but you figure you’d be a hell of a lot more comfortable wearing them to sleep than the denim shorts you have on now.

“These are… great. Thank you, Joel. But…” you snicker. “Should I be concerned that you have a very convenient supply of girls’ clothes in your truck?” Joel scoffs. “‘S for when I got Tommy’s kid with me, smartass. He’s got a daughter, few years younger ‘n you.”

“Okay, well, I dunno how I was supposed to know that, but… as long as you don’t have a girlfriend who’s gonna come after me for wearing her clothes.”

Joel only chuckles in response, his attention suddenly pulled to the TV.

“Gunsmoke, huh? ‘S a good choice, definitely what I’d classify as ‘worth a damn’.”

You smile to yourself, and his approval makes that warm fluttery feeling return to your belly. “I didn’t even know what it was called, just seemed like something you’d like.”

He turns back to you. “That obvious, huh? ‘S just ‘cause I’m old and southern, ain’t it?”

“Maybe a little,” you admit, making a pinching gesture with your hand.

Joel nods as he makes his way over to the armchair on the corner of the room, collapsing onto it with a groan. “Well, why don’t you go ‘n get yourself all changed and cleaned up, ‘n if you’re quick enough maybe we can finish the episode together and then get some shuteye, hm?”

You swiftly unzip your backpack to retrieve one of your clean pairs of underwear, then bound over to the small bathroom with them and your new change of clothes in hand. It’s not the most spotless one you’ve ever had to use, but you’ve honestly seen much worse. You rinse off quickly in the steaming shower, using the scratchy motel-provided washcloth to scrub the dirt from your legs, stuck to you with the sweat you worked up from God knows how many miles of walking today. 

Today. You can hardly believe it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since you left home yet. It seems like you’ve already known Joel for days, maybe even years, as silly as it sounds. You wonder if he might just take you in after this, or if he’ll have had enough of providing for you after just one night. He seems like a man of limited means, and he’s already given you so much. If you’re brave enough, maybe you’ll ask him tomorrow, when you get to the ‘so… what now?’ part of your time together.

For now, you step out of the shower and dry yourself off with an impossibly scratchier towel, then pull on your panties and the tank top and shorts Joel provided you with.

Jesus, how much younger is Tommy’s daughter?

The shorts just barely cover your ass, and there’s a sizable gap between their waistband and the bottom hem of your top. The thin, white material of the shirt only serves to accentuate the way your nipples poke through the fabric, but you suppose there isn’t anything you can do about that.

You quietly crack open the bathroom door, and are somewhat relieved to find that Joel’s already fallen asleep in the chair. You do wish you could’ve finished the episode of Gunsmoke with him, but the end credits seem to be rolling already anyway, and you’d rather avoid being seen in your very ill-fitting pajamas. Although, you do wonder if he’d say anything, or if he’d just let his hungry gaze linger in silence again, holding himself back from touching you beyond a comforting pat on the thigh.

You pick the remote up off the bed and use it to make the TV screen sizzle to black, then tip toe over to the lightswitch by the door and turn it off, the room now completely shrouded in darkness. Joel snores softly from the chair as you blindly feel your way back over to the bed, pulling the covers back and nestling yourself underneath them. The bed is surprisingly comfortable, considering, and it doesn’t take long for your exhaustion to catch up with you. Your thoughts become slower and slower along with your breathing, and you’re asleep not even five minutes after your head hits the pillow.

—

The last room they had, yeah, right. You’re just the most pathetic little thing, aren’t you? You’ll believe just about anything that comes out of his mouth if he turns up the ‘southern charm’ dial a few ticks, throws in a feigned apologetic-looking expression for good measure. It’s sad, really. For you, anyway.

Joel fakes his snoring for another thirty minutes or so, until he’s certain you’re sound asleep. He had heard your breath even out almost immediately after you had tucked yourself in, but he had chosen to lay in wait for a little while longer, just to make sure you wouldn’t put up too much of a fight when he made his move. You don’t seem like the type, considering how you’d hardly argued with him at all tonight, like when he had convinced you to forgo the caffeine with your dinner. There’s a reason he wanted you sleepy and subdued tonight, but you didn’t know that. Joel likes how well you listen to him, how easily you do as he asks.

He also likes how warm you are, how small your body is compared to his own, the difference in size especially prominent now that he’s laying snugly against you, his front pressing firmly into the back of you. You don’t wake from his lumbering movement, only coming to slightly when you feel his arm slide underneath your body, his warm hand snaking its way beneath your tiny shirt to squeeze at your plush tits. 

You mumble out a little “Hm?”, which he’s quick to quiet with, “Sorry, darlin’. Chair was too hard on my damn back. Just go back to sleep, ‘kay?” That chair felt like laying on a goddamn cloud compared to some of the other surfaces he’s found himself having to sleep on before, but again, you don’t know that, and what you don’t know won’t hurt you. You probably won’t even remember this in the morning, how his hard cock is slotted so perfectly against your ass, especially without the confines of his thick jeans holding him back. They’re discarded onto the floor now in front of the armchair, along with his flannel shirt and jacket. Joel holds you tightly against his bare, hairy chest as he circles a roughened pad of his finger around one of your nipples, smirking to himself at how quickly the bud hardens from his touch. He knew you wanted this, and the wet spot that the fingers of his other hand are teasing in the gusset of your panties is proof of it. How long have you been leaking for him like this? Had you been soaking the seat of his truck earlier today? Filthy thing.

You still don’t rouse when he pulls your panties aside and slips a finger inside your slick cunt, or when his grip on your tit loosens in favor of sliding up higher under your tank top, his hand coming to a rest around the base of your throat as he pumps his finger in and out of your tight heat. It would be so fucking easy…

But he can’t, he won’t, because you’re not like the others. You want to get to know him, you let him take care of you, you seem to like his company, and you don’t leap out of bed and call him a fucking perv and a dirty old man for what he’s doing to you. That’s what the others would have done. It’s what they have done. And they faced the consequences.

But you’re different. You’re not like them. You’re like him. A lost soul, that’s what you are. Nowhere to call home, no one who misses you or loves you or gives a damn what happens to you. Joel’s mouth had tasted bitter when he had told you about Tommy, or rather, lied about him. Joel hasn’t seen the fucker in years, certainly doesn’t pay him any visits or watch his brat, not since Tommy had learned the truth. You better not show your goddamn face around here ever again, you understand me? Tommy had spat at him. You’re fuckin’ sick. Only reason I don’t turn your ass in myself is ‘cause you’re my goddamn brother. But if I ever fuckin’ see you again, I won’t hesitate. Better make yourself pretty fuckin’ scarce ‘fore I change my mind. That might’ve been about the only time Joel had ever taken orders from his little brother. 

That bitter flavor is cut by the sweet tang of you that he tastes on his finger now, so young and eager and fresh. The hand around your throat squeezes a little tighter, and Joel’s hips begin to move against your ass as he allows himself to suck wet kisses onto the skin under the hinge of your jaw. Softly, gently, so as not to wake you. He could come just like this, using your pliant body in your sleep, rutting himself against your still form with the taste of your pussy on his tongue and his fingers pressed against your pulse points.

He’s close when you stir again, making broken hiccuping sounds as you choke on your breath.

“Shh, shh,” Joel soothes. “You’re alright, sweetheart. ‘S just me. Just—fuck—hold still, go back to sleep, baby.” You let out a quiet whimper, squirming against him just a little bit, but return to your unmoving and silent state a second later. Joel finishes himself off quickly with another couple of shallow thrusts against you, his large hand still gripped around the column of your neck, trying to stifle his groans as he spills into his briefs. He removes his suffocating hand and keeps you pressed tightly against him for a while after that, tanned arms wrapped around your waist and breathing in your scent as he waits for you to settle back down. 

When he’s sure he won’t disturb you again, Joel releases you from his hold and pads quietly back over to the armchair, redressing himself and resuming the position you had left him in. In the morning, if you do remember any of it, you’ll just chalk it up to a very strange dream, one fueled by the desire he knows you’ve felt towards him since he picked you up. You’ll be left with a strange assuredness that he feels the same way about you, without really knowing why. 

But Joel will always know.

—

The digital clock on the nightstand only reads around 8:00 when you’re awoken by a beam of sunlight shining brightly against the backs of your eyelids, streaming in from the window’s lopsided blinds. You had gone to sleep with your back to Joel, but you find yourself facing him now. He looks kind of peaceful when he’s asleep, that permanent furrow etched between his brows finally smoothed out as he dozes. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips, but they fall quickly when you adjust your legs and feel the cool dampness against your core, the sensation bringing back the memory of the dream you’d had last night. 

It had felt so real, but it couldn’t have been, could it? There’s no evidence that Joel had really laid next to you last night, that he’d really touched you like that, that you’d wanted him to keep going. It must just be some kind of strange side effect of the affection you feel toward the man who had rescued you, more or less. You’ll likely just part ways after today, anyway, so it’s probably best to just try and forget about the whole thing, put on a fresh pair of underwear and pretend it never happened. 

Joel is awake by the time you’re done freshening up in the bathroom, and he greets you with a raspy ‘Mornin’, sweetheart’ as you retrieve your backpack from next to the bed and shove your ruined underwear into the bottom of it. “You get some good sleep last night?” He asks, rubbing a hand over his eye.

“Mhm, the bed was nice, more comfortable than the one I had at home, honestly.” You finish zipping your backpack closed and sit back down on the bed, pulling on some socks and the lace up sneakers you had been wearing yesterday. “I hope the chair was okay, like, for your back and everything.”

“What makes you say that, baby?”

You pause in the middle of tying one of your shoelaces, turning to look at him with a confused pout. “Didn’t you…? I thought you had told me something about how the chair would be hard on your back. Like, last night.”

Joel frowns, shaking his head. “Don’t think so, darlin’. Chair was just fine.”

“Oh… Well, that’s good.”

Maybe it had just been a dream, then.

Joel hands you a few bills from his wallet, and tasks you with getting the two of you some breakfast from the gas station across the street while he cleans himself up. He tells you that he doesn’t eat much in the mornings, but that you can get yourself whatever you want, as long as you bring him back a carton of cigarettes and a black coffee. You obey eagerly, retrieving what he asked for and getting a pack of miniature powdered donuts and an equally as sugary coffee for yourself.

He’s just stepped out of the bathroom when you return to the room, and your face feels hot when you see him with his dark hair slicked back and wet from the shower. The few strands that fall onto his forehead as he laces up his boots almost make him look a little boyish, despite his whitened temples. 

“Such a good girl, thank you,” Joel praises when you hand him his items. 

You respond with a shy ‘You’re welcome’, but he doesn’t miss how you seem to light up at his words. You plop yourself down onto the worn-in chair that Joel had used as a bed last night, happily munching on your gas station donuts and sipping on your coffee. It all makes you feel warm from the inside out.

But you figure you should find out what the rest of today might look like before you let yourself enjoy the beginnings of it too much.

“So, um… We’re just gonna check out this morning and then… what?” 

“Whaddya mean, baby?”

“I mean… are you just gonna, like… take me to the nearest bus station or something?”

Joel’s confusion is written all over his face, embedded deep into those lines between his brows. You could swear he almost looks a little hurt. “Why would I do that? ‘S that what you want?” He asks softly.

You try to backpedal a little, afraid you might’ve offended him or seemed ungrateful in your question. “I just thought it might be what you want. That you probably have somewhere else you need to be, like Tommy’s or—”

“No, I don’t,” Joel says definitively.

You pause. “Okay, so—”

“You ever been to California?”

His question stumps you for a moment, seeming so random in its nature. “No.”

“You want to?”

You shrug. “I mean… sure. Maybe someday—”

“Why don’t you come with me then, baby?”

You let out an awkward giggle. “...Come with you where?”

“To California. Come with me.” Joel’s tone is genuine but firm.

“Like, today? Are you sure?”

“I mean, we ain’t gettin’ there today, darlin’. But yeah, I’m sure. We both got nowhere else to be, do we? So let’s just go, we’ll see it together.”

You beam up at him, realizing that he’s being serious. Joel does want you, wants you to be his companion, maybe even something more that you’ll discover on familiar-looking back roads and in cities you’ve only ever seen pictures of. 

“Okay,” you agree excitedly. 

Joel nods. “Okay, then. Lemme go check us out ‘n we’ll get back on the road again. Burnin’ daylight already,” he jokes. He carries your backpack out to the truck for you, setting it down between your feet after he opens the door and helps you inside with a stable hand. It only takes a few minutes for Joel to hand in the room key and pay for the night, and then he’s back at your side. You begin to feel like that’s where you always want him to stay. 

“So, where to first, baby? California ain’t goin’ anywhere, can take as long to get there as we wanna. We’ll go wherever you like, take your pick.” Joel leans across your body to dig a folded up map out of the glove compartment, handing it to you. 

You examine it, your eyes darting across the dozens of dots with the names of cities next to them, some you’ve never even heard of. You point to one that you have heard of, but have never been to, because you’ve never even left the state you grew up in before.

“Um… how about Detroit? I’ve heard it’s nice, I think.”

Joel belly laughs at that. “It ain’t, but sure. You wanna go to Detroit, that’s where we’ll go. Buckle up, baby,” he instructs, patting your thigh. You oblige, and it feels good to finally know where you’re going, and that you’re going there with someone who cares about you, who feels safe, who wants you around. You also feel a little hopeful that maybe you were right about Ruby, after all. That you didn’t start walking for nothing, that you weren’t following some childish delusion, that if something as good as Joel had happened to you when you left, that maybe she had found herself on a similar path, ran into somebody good who took her wherever she wanted to go and helped her find someplace she belonged. Maybe she found her way out to California, eventually. What you are certain of is that neither of you ever have to go back to that town ever again, and that feels good, too.

And if it feels good, then it can’t be bad.

tag list: tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg @alex-does-art-things @evolnoomym @annoyingmarvelreader @k1l4ni @joelsdagger (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)

[varteeny1234]

👀 hallooo

omg hi pebbl!!

so. i have one specific au that i think you may enjoy! it is a pearl-centric SPACE AU featuring alien etho + tango, and also moonrot :D

so basically pearl wants to explore space and cleo is her gf back on earth (they are both human as of now) and cleo is worried about something going wrong (pearl will be the first to embark on such a mission) but supports her

and pearl goes off into space and manages to somehow crash land on a really weird planet but SPECIFICALLY in the middle of a dense jungle and she wanders around looking for somewhere to stay since her ship can't fly and thats when ETHO APPEARS WHEEE and he's like "oh snappers, you alright? that's a nasty cut on your leg! say, I havent seen you around before" and pearl looks down and Oh Wait, That's New and also "no man i just crashed on this planet do you have like a house of smthn??" so etho takes her back to his house and TANGO IS THERE TOO :DDDDD they talk and all, they help pearl get situated and she tells them about her situation and all and she's grateful she's alive and has people helping her but also! she can't get back home to cleo! :(

so as the plot progresses pearl etho and tango try and fail to repair the spaceship (theydont have the right materials, and also dont know how to leave their planet. tango actually was once in a similar situation, he woke up there with no memories of anything before. etho spent his whole life there) and since the communications message transmitter thingy is broken pearl cant call earth for help. to cope with this she borrows a journal from etho and writes letters to cleo in it, telling her about her day and what's been happening and all <3 it's very sweet

also, the more time she spends here, the less human she becomes...

eventually, tango starts acting weird and etho Knows What's Happening, because something similar happened in the past. there was a mysterious corrupting force that took over a small area and tango fell victim to it but luckily etho was able to save him! unfortunately, it is back, and stronger. much MUCH stronger. that winter is colder than it should be. (can you tell where i'm headed with this)

it's the Deepfrost! basically, tango changes under its influence but still is himself deep down, and he's stuck in the corrupted parts of the planet which are conveniently his house and the surrounding areas. etho and pearl are trying to save him while also fighting back Deepfrost themselves: it's taking over the surface of the planet. they find out they can't do anything from the surface, so they go into a weird cave, and etho's too nervous so he stays above and pearl goes venturing off into the darkness. (this is supposed to represent the burning dark from do2)

pearl finds a bunch of weird thingamabobs on her adventure, including a mysterious key. she sees a weird tower structure thingy in the middle of a big cave opening, with what appears to be a keyhole without any clue as to what's behind it. she mentally flips a coin and tries it, and it works, and a quite possibly magical crown materializes on her head. then Deepfrost crumbles around her and she feels it both physically and mentally, and it takes the cave with it. she's able to escape thanks to her wings she's grown while on this planet (she really isn't human at all anymore), and at the surface she finds etho and tango, and tango's back to normal and they're all happy again and life goes on for a bit normally! pearl manages to at least fix the message transmitter, so she attempts sending SOS calls in the hopes that someone somewhere picks them up.

BUT! you may be wondering what cleo's been up to this whole time!

well basically, after she received word that they'd lost contact with pearl and couldn't locate her ship, she was devastated, but also somehow knew in her gut that pearl was still alive somewhere. they manages to get a spaceship of their own (probably not the best idea but she Does Not Care), and goes on a rescue mission. she stops at a few planets and explores them, but ultimately they can't find a single sign of life anywhere.

time passes, and she refuses to give up hope, and one day her effort pay off! she receives a message, the one pearl got out! they are from then on able to locate her, arriving on planet PET (calling it that now).

she and pearl have a wonderful reunion, and cleo loves pearl's new look too! unfortunately, cleo may love it, but the rest of the people on earth might not, and pearl feels like she belongs here rather than back there anyway. cleo and pearl talk, and they come to the decision that for a number of reasons (they're clearly safe here, pearl feels at home and her going back would be forever awkward at the absolute best, and cleo never really had a serious attachment to the planet anyway so they dont really have many negative emotions about abandoning it) they should live out the rest of their lives there :D

i. think that's the end possibly...? question mark?

i do hope you've enjoyed my word vomit :3

also. the funniest part about this. i just wanted to write something short but space themed in the beginning! if i ever end up writing this it's definitely not going to be quick aelksdflkadshfhuertgfhdgahrr