#dont look at the rope too hard lol

[severeproblems]

^_^;

[changisworld]

A helping hand

Felix x f!reader

Word count:6,227

Summary: Felix is addicted to masterbating & also sex. But despite his addictions, he hasn’t got laid in over a year & has to use his hand but he has now gotten bored with it. He has tried different toys, DIY tricks etc but it’s just not the same, so he caves in one night & signs up to one of the “single ladies in your area” adverts out of complete desperation after clicking on it by accident. not thinking in case he gets a million more porn viruses, but he ends up talking to someone he thinks is even more attractive than him, you.

->Authors note at bottom!

18+ MDNI, SMUT WARNINGS BELOW THE CUT.

©ANY translation, copy & paste, posting of my work is strictly forbidden for ANY posts/ writing i post.

main masterlist here

SMUT WARNINGS: NEEEEDDDDYYY felix, felix cums a LOT& i mean a LOT, multiple orgasms(both rec), switch reader, switch felix, spit, oral (both rec), 69, facesitting, ball sucking, slliiiiggghhhtttt anal play(felix rec), body worship, squirting, hair pulling, very brief masterbating, slight overstimulation, cum eating, creampie, tiniest bit of dirty talk, praise, finger sucking, aftercare is mostly off screen! 90% smut 10% plot (sorry nawt sorry)

Felix has been scrolling through pornhub & also twitter for hours. He has gotten two hundred pages down into pornhub & can't help but grumble to himself, his cock red & angry now resting on his lower stomach, a few, small ropes of cum spread across his abs & for him, that's nothing.

He scratches the underside of his cock with his nails in a slow motion, trying to give himself a tiny bit of stimulation.

He keeps aimlessly scrolling through the pages upon pages of videos but he is barely even reading the titles, his eyes getting bored & he ends up focusing on the bunch of stupid adverts at the top of the page & he watches the same clip replaying over & over & he clicks on the video right below the advert a second later, the thumbnail catching his attention for the first time in forever.

The video takes a second to load & another advert comes up & he sighs, before realising it's the same advert from the top of the screen. He goes to press the 'skip advert' button but accidently clicks on the actual advert & it takes him onto a website.

He goes to just click off of it, but something... someone catches his his eye.

The website is styled like an early 2000's porn magazine, pictures of women with descriptions below, a small text box beneath each where you can leave your own message for the women to get back to you.

He decides to just scroll down a few, when a specific girl stands out to him, a girl called y/n. In the picture given, you're wearing a lacey black bra & panties set, your body & face on full display.

He takes a brief look at your description: "*YOUR AGE*, no hard no's, feel free to message me, I won't bite unless you ask me to<3" & Felix feels almost compelled to text you. He signs up to the website, not even bothering to think if it's a scam website & could steal all his information before setting his profile picture, his name, age & bio up before sending you a message.

Felix's description: "Into absolutely everything. I dom & sub, I'm not picky!:3 You name it, I'm into it!" He decides to keep it short, not wanting to add too much in case with his luck, one of his friends, almost as desperate as he is, coming across his account somehow.

Felllx2000: Aren't u too pretty to be here?

Felix texts you, not wanting to sound like a weirdo, he goes to click out of your name & scroll further down the site when he sees a speech bubble at the bottom of the screen, you already typing back.

You: Shouldn't I be asking you the same? you look so innocent, what you doing on here? Felllx2000: looks are deceiving then lol, i'm anything but that:3 You: I seen your bio, you seem like fun, whats brought you here? Felllx2000: came here on accident lol but i dont regret it now, do u have any more pics of u?? You: aww you're just a cutie<3 ofc I do, I'm supposed to make you pay for images since only the texting part is meant to be free but you're just a beautiful boy so one wont hurt. You:Imag.ddxi41g

Felix's eyes widen at the image, you're posing in the mirror in another set of lingerie, this time a hot pink set, making your curves look as good as possible, your hand cupping the bottom of one of your tits & you are sticking your tongue out.

Felix's cock jumps up from his stomach for the first time all night & a few of his fingers reach down to fondle the tip of his dick, eyes narrowing slightly at the sensation.

Felllx2000:can i be a beg & ask for another? ur so hot it hurts You: You're really a desperate boy aren't you? Why not you send me something of you first n i can decide if i'll send anything else ;)

Felix reads this & is instantly flicking onto his camera roll & selecting multiple photos of himself, photos of his aching leaky cock, photos of his abs & even a full body shot before sending it.

You, on the other side of the phone, your jaw drops when he sends the photos & the sleep clothes you're wearing all of a sudden feeling far too tight on your body. You go back into your camera roll & dig out a pussy picture, your fingers in a 'V' shape, spreading your hole & your clit visible, a shimmer noticeable, the photo taken after you did a private show for another texter (you made over £950 that night) since you were a bit too sleepy to take a brand new picture since it's 2am for you both.

Felix's cock pulsates, this being the first time he's actually received nudes for the first time in months & he begins to actually jerk off into his hand, all of a sudden he is actually getting the tiniest bit of sensation to his cock as he admires the photo.

Felllx2000: y/n ur making me nuts holy shit You: Feelings mutual sweetie, u jerking off for me? Felllx2000: thats a silly question of course i am, wish it was you though</3 You: you gonna cum just from a few pictures hmm? why you so needy? do you not get female attention, pretty? Can I ask what your body count is gorgeous? with a face like that you can easily be married by now. Felllx2000: noooo;( my hand doesn't bring me anything good, want someone else, want u. It's 3, I just dont get the chance! im good in bed though, id luv to prove it! ;0 You: Your neediness turns me on so much babe, what is it you want me to do to you? I want to kiss your pretty face off n ride you till you cry, your cock is so beautiful, so pink

You can't help but smile at your screen & you shut your phone off & you crawl out your bed & hop in the shower, taking the extra time to use extra body scrubs & scents as you feel a bit nervous of what you are gonna do, in the meantime, felix has began blowing up your phone.

Felllx2000:Want u to wrap ur lips around me so much;( want to fuck u so bad, i can last so long y/n, u have no idea Felllx2000: would let u wrap ur thighs around my head, pull my hair, i can be so good for you if u want me tooooo<3 Felllx2000: where u gone?:( did i scare u? im sorry, u dont need to respond.

You hop out the shower & dry your hair as quick as you can & you lift your phone that's half hidden in your bedsheets & you see the messages he sent & your eyebrows furrow a bit.

You: Don't be so silly, nothing that comes from your pretty face could scare me. You free right now?

Felix opens that text almost instantly & his eyes instantly widen, his hand freezing on his cock as he just stares at the words.

Felllx2000: I am why? you sound nearly as desperate as me

You: Well if you're really that desperate for me, we can exchange numbers & talk more n meet up hmm? & don't get cheeky lmao, calling me desperate compared to you! silly silly but i wont deny it;)

Felllx2000: right now? it says we are 6km apart so i can pick u up? or when? idk i dont do this idk how to acttt, you're making me blush You: Sounds fine hunny, we need to switch app because if we somehow get caught n you didnt pay id get in shit lmao, we arent allowed to meet people irl but theres just something about you, gimme your number pretty please

Felix springs up in bed & sends you his number quicker than you can blink & you text his number & he replies just as quick & his heart is racing at the thought... he's maybe gonna actually hook up with someone???

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You both decide to text for a few days, mostly to secure your own safety in a way & you facetimed once or twice, which actually ended up in phone sex both times & you now discovered it's a huge kink of yours.

You have mostly been waiting on Felix to get more comfortable as you can tell he is the more nervous one, unsurprisingly, but tonight is the night.

You've learned a few things about Felix, one of them being when he told you his name, but he also pretty much explained to you his... addiction & you'd be lying if you said it didn't turn you on but also scare you slightly, what if you genuinely can't please him? you've never met anyone from the site in real life & you can't help but get butterflies knowing you're hooking up with felix tonight, possibly the hottest guy you've ever spoken to point blank.

Felix texts you to tell you he is on your way, both of you deciding to meet at your house since his small, man cave, standard gamerboy slightly messy apartment who he shares with his roommate Changbin is home.

You light a candle in your lounge area & put a loose top & sleep shorts on top of your chosen set & you put on the tiniest bit of makeup, still wanting to look good for him despite it being close to 1am.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

You hear a few knocks on your door twenty minutes later & you feel your heart coming out your throat but you do your best to swallow it as you waltz your way to the front door, putting on a brave face, taking a deep breath before opening it.

Felix & you both look at each other & smile, Felix wearing a pair of grey sweatpants & a matching hoodie, his blonde hair slightly messy. You whisper a 'hi' to one another, being quiet to not let the words echo in the apartment stairway, before you move aside for him to enter.

You shut the door behind him & you instantly flip around to look at one another again.

"Surprised you actually showed up, do you want a drink or anything?" you ask, giving him a smirk as you close the distance between you both & tease him by taking his hand in yours & guiding him to the living room, plopping him down on the couch, but he pulls you down with him.

"I'll drink later, c'mere." he remarks as he helps you onto his lap so you're straddling him & his lips lock with yours instantly, the kiss full of need from the both of you, you realising you've been lacking physical touch a fraction of the amount Felix has been.

His hands trail down to your waist & then ass, kneading it like a cat in his short fingers as he helps you begin grinding your hips against him & you can already feel his cock hard beneath the layers of clothes, making your eyebrows furrow.

You take the initiative & you begin poking your tongue through his puffy pink lips & he groans into it, the pair of you both now exchanging spit, the noise of your lips smacking together ringing through both of your ears.

You wriggle your fingers through his hair before you pull back on it, pulling his lips away from yours & he lets out a deep groan before you look at him, a mischievous look on your face before you lean down slightly & begin kissing his jawline & neck, using your teeth to nip at it, making him roll his hips onto your covered crotch, his hands fighting the urge to dig his hands past the waistband of your shorts.

You wriggle your hips slightly backwards to make more room for you to kiss his neck & your hands below his hoodie & you quickly make the note that he has no shirt beneath the hoodie he is wearing & you graze your fingers over his solid abs.

"& you said I was the desperate one, can I take these off?" he groans, his voice raspy as he tries to sound fully composed but failing. You lean back enough & raise your hips enough to wiggle off the shorts he was referring to, giggling as his eyes become glued to your covered core.

"Don't get cheeky Felix, you're the one pawing at me." you giggle as you pull his hoodie off his frame, leaving him naked on the top half & you basically naked on the bottom half.

You usher Felix to lay flat on the couch & you climb back on top of him & you plant some kisses on his now naked chest & you take one of his pretty, dark nipples in your mouth & you lightly bite, making him wince at the feeling has he keeps jerking his hips upwards, seeking even a tiny bit extra friction, which you decide you'll give him.

You give him a look as your fingers are playing with the drawstrings on his joggers & he just nods, giving you a non verbal sign that you can take them off, & you do, Felix raising his hips just enough for you to fully pull them off his milky coloured legs.

You hum in approval at the bulge in his underwear, the front part completely soaked with precum & you make quick progress of pulling his boxers off to, leaving him feeling desperate & he hums at the cold air hitting his wet tip, his cock harder & more leaky than it has been in his whole life.

"I thought nothing got you to orgasm anymore but your pretty balls look as if they're about to explode." you quip & he covers his eyes with his arm momentarily out of slight embarrassment.

"That's only when it's me, when it's you in front of me why would anyone be surprised." he squeaks, his stomach lurching forward as you take his pretty, boyfriend sized, chubby cock in your hand & hold it with a firm grip, using your thumb & index finger to pinch lightly at his piss slit, watching his cock leak precum like a broken faucet.

"What is it you're wanting Lixie, hmm?" you question, your hand painfully slowly jerking him off, more precum dripping every time your hand moves. "Tongue, please?" he pleads, his puppy eyes looking down at you & as much as you want to drag it out, your willpower already completely out the window & you chuckle at his desperate face before you ingulf his tip past your lips.

You use your hand to keep jerking off the base of his cock, his trimmed, straight pubes tickling the part of the hand that is grazing them & your other hand slithers down the extra tiny bit before you cup his balls, rolling them in your fingers & the moan the man under you lets out a load whine.

You swirl your tongue around his tip before sinking down his now completely soaked with spit cock, your drool dripping onto his balls, giving him goosebumps. You quickly come up for a breath & spit out the gallons of drool that hasn't been pushed out from his cock pistoning into your mouth & you take this opportunity to suckle on his balls, pulling on them with your lips gently, making Felix squeal as you continue rolling the other half in his hand. You catch your breath back as much as you can while doing this then you pull your lips off his balls & blow some cold air on them, making his cock twitch in your hand, before returning it into your mouth.

His hips jerk up on accident but when you moan around his cock, sending vibrations up his spine, he begins to thrust shallowly into your throat & you gurgle around him, your eyes not breaking eye contact with his, not even an ounce of embarrassment in your face despite the mess.

"Gonnagonna cum, d- you're so good." he groans as his hair begins sticking to his face as his eyes struggle & then failing to keep his eyes open as his tip spills ropes of cum out of it & landing right into your throat & you moan around his cock, moving your head up so you're only suckling on the tip as you swallow four separate mouthfuls of his orgasm & you can feel the wetness almost leaking out from your panties.

You pull fully off his dick & you aren't even that surprised that his cock is still completely hard. You open your mouth to make fun of the fact but Felix cuts you off by pulling you up towards him so you are now sat on his lower stomach & pulling your shirt off your head, leaving you in just your set & felix whines at the sight.

"Need to eat you out, I'm genuinely dying to taste you." he states as he pulls on the tiny tiny waistband of your thong & you just giggle at his words & crawl up his frame even more so your cunt is right above his face & he looks up at you with his jaw slightly open & his eyes watering.

"Really Lixie? I'll give it to you because I pity your desperation." you say, slight attitude & sarcasm in your voice as you lower yourself onto his face, your panties still covering where you both want to see & feel the most.

Felix begins to kitten lick your clit over your panties & he hums to himself at the tiniest faint taste of your juice that's seeping through your underwear & you purr at the sensation, trying your hardest to not begin grinding against his face, but when he is now pushing & pulling on your waist, you do just that.

Felix decides that your underwear is now soaked through enough with his own saliva & gets one of his small fingers & he pushes your panties to the side & he lets out a pitiful gasp.

"Your cunt is so pretty, it's soaking, shit." he murmurs, more to himself than he is to you before he digs in, pulling your body onto his face as much as he possibly can as he licks a long, wide strip up your entire cunt before settling his tongue on your puffy clit, suckling on it as if his life depends on it & you can't help but hiss at the pleasure.

He laps his tongue in tiny circles around your button as he sucks at the same time, making you feel as if you are on cloud nine. "No way this-you're this good if you're as inexperienced as-as you made out to be." You stammer, your eyes scrunched shut & your head raised up at the ceiling as your fingers find their way to his hair to tug on it, making him jerk his hips & whimper into your cunt.

He moves one of his hands from your waist & gives your ass a quick but harsh spank, making you jerk as forward as you can with his grip still holding you in place as his hand makes its way down to where his mouth is & he enters two fingers into your dripping hole & your stomach lurches & your body slightly curls forwards & you find balance in Felix's hair & he honestly has no issue with the way you are pulling on it, moaning back into your cunt which shoots right through you.

"Gonna c-cum, wait." you force out before you use all your strength to raise yourself off his completely soaked face, his lips red & puffy & his hair all dishevelled & you boop his nose, giving him a small smile through staggered breath as you do your best to flip your body around so you're now facing the rest of his body & Felix lets out a groan before pulling you back down onto his face, him already addicted to your taste & can't go s minute without it.

You grind down on his face, the bottom part of your pussy lips hitting against his nose, making you purr. You fully open your eyes & notice there's a puddle of cum on his abs, even whiter than his skin. "You c-came untouched, I'm fla-flattered." you blabber as you reach out for his cock & begin to jerk it, obviously still hard despite a second orgasm.

Felix chuckles into your cunt & his ears go a slight shade of red, a bit shy at how quickly you have managed to make him cum in such a small amount of time. You put the tip of his cock past your lips & hollow your cheeks, swirling your tongue as best as you can as your mind is going fuzzy by now.

You hum at a mixture of the taste of precum & also at the feeling Felix is providing you & you can feel your orgasm slowly bubbling up so you coat your finger in your own spit before you begin lightly pinching his balls, making him whimper into your cunt & he detaches himself from your pussy momentarily.

"Fingers, fingers y/n p-please., fingers." he squeaks to you, his voice completely blown out before he gets back to what he was doing, his brain running at a million miles an hour & his tongue moving even quicker, because despite the lack of women he has been with, he knows how to eat.

He latches his lips & tongue onto yours & suckles as he worms his tongue into your hole & your legs begin to shake & you take a second to compose yourself after listening to his words & you use the hand that was just jerking off his soaking cock & switch it to your other hand & you use your now shiny hand & you roll it down towards where he was asking, making sure to put a bit extra pressure on his balls as you drag it down.

You use your index finger & swirl it around his pucker & Felix lets out a squeal at the feeling & his dick twitches in your mouth & his hips buck up slightly making you gag but you don't pull off. As he does this, his teeth accidentally clamp down slightly on your pussy lips & that plunges you to your first orgasm of the night & your hips completely raise off his face from the overstimulation as your orgasm squirts out of you, soaking his face & hair, dripping off onto your now wet couch & he has to forcefully kickstart his brain & pulls you off his cock as your body stops tensing up so much.

"S-sorry, didn't know I c-could even do tha-" you whimper, panting. "Heyyyy don't apologise, that's the hottest thing I have ever ever seen." Felix cuts you off before he kisses you, your own orgasm now transferring onto your face & you groan into his lips at such a dirty yet hot act.

"You wanna keep going? We don't need to or anything, no pressure!" He blabbers out, glossy eyes looking into your completely blown out ones. "You can actually keep going? I'm surprised, follow me." You respond, giving him a cheeky smile as you use all your strength to properly balance yourself as you stand up & take Felix's hand, giggling as you lead him across your vanilla smelling apartment, the naked, cum soaked & sweaty blonde following your lead, letting his other hand wander over your frame, holding your waist & giving your ass a spank.

Felix kicks the bedroom door shut behind him, only taking a second to admire the decorations in your bedroom before he is plopping you on the bed & getting on top of you, his hand resting on the bed beside your head as he uses his other hand to start toying with your clit gently, not wanting to overstimulate you too much & your hips thrust towards his fingers on instinct.

"Put it in, Felix, please, want it inside." you purr, your hand grazing over his abs with your nails before grabbing onto his still hard cock & pumping it slowly, it still being wet with your spit & his hips jerk into your hand, a growl coming from his chest, spit almost leaving his lips.

"Really? Your cunt seems more than happy with just my finger, soaking for me." he smirks as he bites his bottom lip, trying to not let his own moan slip out from how turned on he actually is as he speeds up his motion on your clit in a messy manner, the wetness making his fingers slightly slip. "Please Lix, don't you want it?" you ask as a rhetorical question as your breath is staggering, trying to get more friction from his small fingers & Felix chuckles lightly as he begins blushing.

"You got a con-" "just use it without, I'm on the pill, promise." you speak up, a convincing look in your eyes. Felix nods & tries to compose himself with the nerves, honestly scared if he is gonna cum almost instantly.

He spreads your legs a bit further with his knee as he leans backwards on his knees, his cock poking the inside of your thigh as he kisses the parts of your legs he can reach while you're holding them & you melt into his kisses. "You're so pretty, want you to myself." he murmurs, mostly to himself but he doesn't take his eyes off yours & your ears turn as red as your cheeks.

"Then take me, I'm waiting on you." you remark, biting your lip as you smile up at him, silently praying his cock will slip inside you & not just poke against it. Felix's freckles become surrounded by a rosey colour & he moves his cock with his hand & drags it up & down your folds, making you both sigh in contempt.

You can both hear the light squelching sounds as his cock grinds through your wetness & it bumps against your clit every time his cock moves, making you grow beyond impatient & you reach down to try nudge his penis but he swats your hand away before you can reach it.

"Don't be so pushy, I'm about to cum as it is." he half jokes & you giggle at his words & he returns the action as he lets a glob of spit fall directly onto your cunt & it clenches around air as it dribbles down your clit & Felix sighs to himself at the sight as he pumps himself few times, slowly before he aligns himself up & slowly pushes himself inside until his balls hit against your skin & he whines as he feels your warmth, taking in the feeling of how tight & wet you still are despite an orgasm.

Your toes curl as he buries himself to the hilt, him filling you in such a delicious way, not too deep that it's uncomfortable but you can still feel it already snuggled up against your G-spot & you're honestly surprised he hasn't came yet with how desperate he's been all night.

"You're filling me up so well Lixie, m-move please." you plead & Felix has to take a moment to collect himself, he is honestly shocked that you have lasted this long, usually, the very few girls he has been with & his one short term ex would be falling asleep after giving him one orgasm or two maximum, not letting him to fully ever tire himself out so for someone he has met online only no longer than ten days ago who is actually able to keep up with him, he thinks it's a complete match made in heaven & he thinks his endless prayers have been answered.

Felix holds his breath as he moves his hips backwards before pushing back in, watching your face before picking up the pace. "Y-you look so pretty, p-perfect tits." he babbles as he stares at them, his eyes switching between your face & your boobs bouncing with each thrust, his lips parted & also shiny with his spit from where he has been constantly licking at them, his bottom one a bit redder than the top from where he has been nibbling at it all night.

"Go harder, p-please, you're s-so beauti, fuck." you stutter, your fingers reaching to pinch your nipples, your eyes going cross eyed, your pussy completely gushing wetness around Felix's base, clenching uncontrollably.

Felix growls at your words as he picks up his pace & he lets out a high pitched squeal as he pulls out & cums, it landing all over your lower stomach & a few drops landing just under your tits.

Felix pants & you remove one of your hands from your nipple & drag it down to smother the tip of your fingers in his orgasm & you hold it up to his lips & he looks down at you, a devilish look in his eyes as he opens his mouth that tiny bit extra to accept your fingers & you both hum in unison as he swallows around your fingers, letting out a hum of satisfaction.

You both don't break away eye contact as you flip you both over so you're now straddling him & Felix realises he is actually getting softer after orgasms & he basically has heart shaped eyes. "Still hard? You really are inane, match made in heaven." you purr, slightly repositioning so your bare cunt is resting on his slightly softened cock, but it really doesn't take long for it to get hard enough again as your pussy snuggs itself right on top of it.

"I told you I can go all night, You're just too good." He replies, his blonde hair wet with sweat & sticking to his pretty face & you hum at his words. "Do you think you can handle one more, hmm?" you ask, already reaching back to fondle his balls again & he nods instantly, his facial expression going back to a needy, desperate one straight away & you can't help but giggle as you pick up his pretty, red cock in your hand again before sinking back down onto your new favourite thing you've ever touched or saw.

You sink back down until your bodies fully connect & a shiver shoots up your spine & you let out a broken hum as you use whatever strength you somehow have to begin moving your hips in a comfortable way as you begin bouncing, laying your hands on Felix's abs for support, not failing to admire how good they look & feel.

"Holy shit, like-just like that y/n, why are you s-so good, shoulda met way-s-sooner" he rambles as his hands become restless, dragging over your ass, tummy, waist, tits & he drags his fingers over your nipples, making you hiss at the feeling.

"Cum with me, mkay? Paint me inside too, dare ya" you cry, your eyes struggling to stay open as you have to physically stop yourself from flopping forwards but its no use as he latches his arms around your back & pulls you towards him & plants his feet to the floor & uses the rest of his little energy to begin fucking up into you at a harsh pace, making you squeal.

You unbury your face from his neck & you lock lips with him & you both exchange drool, it having a slightly salty taste from his own cum he suckled from your digits just a few minutes ago as felix starts to rub over your left nipple, pinching it & it makes you yelp.

You begin clenching uncontrollably & you start to struggle to kiss him back & your legs begin to feel like jelly & start to give out & if it wasn't for felix basically holding you in place you wouldn't even be moving. "F-felix, fuck, yes! go'n cum, s-so-too good" you wail, your eyes scrunched together as you break your lips apart due to none of you actually being able to breathe, both of your lips a way darker shade, your lips & chins covered in each others drool by this point.

"Cum inside? It's comi-coming, s-shit, you g-gonna take it all?" he stutters, his brain trying its hardest to float away & he is basically forcing himself to keep even a single thought inside. "yes, please, please pl-please! I'll be so good, keep it in for you, c-can eat it out me later" you respond, your pussy dripping a white ring around his base, soaking his pubes.

"G- such a good g-girl, it's c-coming, cumming." He screeches in s raspy voice & as his cock pulsates in you as his balls drain that little bit extra & as you feel another few thick ropes up into your cervix, your own orgasm pours over you like a bucket of cold water & you let out a shriek as your entire body begins shaking in his hold & you throw your head against him & you bite into his shoulder, making him whine as his hips slow down.

You both stay like this for a minute, just catching your breath back for the most part, but you can't really help but enjoy listening to his heart racing inside his chest.

Felix slowly pulls his now actually softening cock out of you, a few droplets of both his cum & your own wetness dripping back onto his pelvis & he wraps his arms around you but then moves them down to his sides. "Are you sue you wanna hug? I-i don't need aftercare if you don't wanna do that, I know it was just casual sex." he says in a soft voice, sounding a bit upset despite trying to sound casual.

You pick your head up & look down at his pretty face & see the slight pout & confused look on your face & you 'tut' at him jokingly before you wriggle your hand under his neck & rub your nose against his neck. "Don't be so silly, Lix, i'll not just leave you after you just had four orgasms, I'll get you some water n stuff once my breath is back." you reply, weaving the hand that's resting under his neck into his soft but wet hair & fiddle with it in your fingers.

Despite you not being able to see it, Felix can't help but smile at your words as he returns his arms around you & relaxes a lot more. "You're a softie, who woulda thought. I've never had anyone or anything make me actually fully enjoy an orgasm until tonight, I'm actually drained for the first time ever." he chuckles & you can't stop yourself from softly giggling. "Glad to hear, I'm actually exhausted though so we aren't going again till I get feeling back in my body." Felix simpers at your words & nods his head.

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Felix doesn't stay the night, him not wanting to overstay & you not knowing if you should ask him or not, thinking it was too intimate to do so.

Felix leaves after another hour or so, you fed him some cereal as it was all you could be bothered to make & you gave him a bottle of water & he dug through your drawers to find some sleep clothes & helped you clean up with a damp towel from your bathroom.

You both agreed to stay in contact with each other, for sexual reasons... obviously, but you both start sending each other memes, random photos of things Felix bakes, pretty flowers you walk past on your way to work & so on... that's how its all started for you both.

A/N: I think I liked the idea of this more than it actually turned on so I'm sorry if I haven't done this as much justice as I could have done, I've been going through a lot lately with a lot of personal issues & I got admitted so I'm also sorry for not being active, I'm gonna get back on track soon enough. I have a lot of requests & I am trying to get around to them so please just be patient, feel free to send me thoughts/asks but thoughts get published first since they're a lot smaller. I hope you all enjoyed this piece though if you've reached this far<3

->Anon list: Open!

->Taglist: Open!

[horny-p0et]

incelbur blurb part three

another one. don't need an intro at this point you know what this is. although i saw lovejoy live recently and am pretty happy about it. you have probably seen the photos i took shared around already by my friends lol but you'll never know its me ;)

things are getting weird and gross in this series now, heads up.

part one + part two

warnings: masturbation, nonconsensual phone sex and filming, sexist language and attitudes, alcohol abuse.

wordcount: 1567

dont like, dni. please just block me and move on.

────୨ৎ────

INCELBUR who's hands were shaking when he sent the first message to your discord. typing the word 'hey' had never been so hard before. he keeps checking to see if you've responded, its the weekend- you shouldn't be that busy... he finds himself filled with regret and disgust, why did he start talking to you again? you're just some girl, nothing worthwhile anyway. you were probably busy sucking some guys cock-

"heyy! sorry i was studying so i didn't have notifications on. did u wanna game sometime today?"

"yeah that would be cool. what did you wanna play?"

INCELBUR who was caught off guard when you suggest to play fortnite duos, he didn't think girls liked games with guns. he's even more surprised when you drop into the game and he finds out you've been playing for years and are honestly better than him at the game. it pisses him off, he wanted to impress you with his skills and now you're having to revive him every round. it's emasculating, he hates feeling like he's useless.

INCELBUR who almost ended the call because of how frustrated the game was making him until you cheer when he gets a kill, and praise him when he does well. your soft voice in his ear is like the best sort of asmr, it sends shivers up his spine when you say 'you're doing so good', he can imagine you whining that while he pounds your pussy.

INCELBUR who couldn't believe three hours had gone by and you're suddenly telling him you're ready to hop off for the night. he wants to beg for you to stay, just one more game, but he doesn't want to sound needy. he isn't a simp, after all. you tell him you'll be on tomorrow and he tells you he'll be there. of course he would, he's always on his computer.

INCELBUR who has to jerk off after the call is over, he'd been hard for most of the conversation already and it was aching by that point. he didn't tell you he'd been recording while you gamed together, he will go back through the video later and clip every time you groan in frustration or squeal in excitement into an audio just for him. the thought of his depravity has him shooting ropes onto his hand within minutes, he didn't even have time to open the photos of you on his phone.

INCELBUR who feels like he's drifting aimlessly until you guys talk again, the sporadic text conversations aren't cutting it. he needs more, he needs your touch, to smell you again. when you see him at school you greet him with a smile, even when your friends give him weird looks you look at him like he's human. it makes him feel alive, important, like he only exists under your gaze.

INCELBUR who has been talking to you for about two weeks, he's never talked to a girl this long before without her running away. it's not his fault, he asks them for nudes and suddenly he's a 'creep' and a 'pervert'. if they didn't want him that way why did they bother talking to him anyway? but you're different. he can't mess this up, even if talking to you is blissful torture because all he wants to do is shove his tongue in your pretty mouth.

INCELBUR who can't help himself but touch his cock while you're on voice call together, it started with him just rubbing himself through his pants and before long he'd have his hand wrapped around himself as you ramble about something. he knows it's wrong, its some fucked up exhibitionist shit, but you are too good to resist. he can't help himself- if your voice wasn't so hot. it's your fault not his.

"god, my course work is killing me recently. i feel like i get no free time anymore, i know it's important but sometimes i just wanna dropout and forget about university. do you know what i mean?"

"... what? oh, yeah... it's.. really hard.."

INCELBUR who gets angrier when he see's you hanging out with guys now that you guys are friends. he's possessive, he wants your attention on him and no one else. seeing you out at clubs on social media is brutal, he wants to demand you stay home and game with him instead. or better yet, come to his place and ride his cock while he bites your neck. he loves the idea of covering you with marks, then everyone would know you belong to him and him alone.

INCELBUR who cringes when you talk about boys on your voice chats. you guys were just playing minecraft and suddenly you're complaining about some chad you're seeing. you sound so stupid in his eyes, of course guys like that are going to treat you badly. they aren't nice guys like him. he's bitter and spiteful, you would be happy if you weren't so blind to the ideal male specimen right in front of you.

INCELBUR who calls you at an obscene time in the middle of the night while he's wanking. he's so close, he just needs your help getting over that edge. you mumble his name in a groggy voice, he'd woken you up and he doesn't care, that single word sends him spiralling and he's stained his sheets with his seed. you ask him if he needs anything and he apologises and tells you its a buttdial and abruptly hangs up.

INCELBUR who should feel guilty about using your kindness to his benefit, but he wouldn't have to if you'd notice how much he wanted you. he showers for you, he buys you skins in game, he walks you to classes he doesn't share with you just to get an extra few minutes around you. he knows your friends don't like him, they think he's a loser. but you defend him every time, he knows you love him- you must just be too shy to tell him.

INCELBUR who sees you at a bar one night and decides to 'accidently' run into you there. maybe if you're drunk you will let loose and dance with him. or even better, drag him into the bathroom for a quickie. the idea has him hard as a rock as he struggles to put on his skinny jeans. he sprays too much deodorant and cologne on, sprays some product he doesn't know how to use into his curls and splashes water on his face until his acne has flared up noticeably.

INCLEBUR who hates being in public. he feels like everyone is staring at him and thinking about how ugly he is, this bar feels like it's been turned up to eleven. he sticks out like a sore thumb because of his height and skinny build, he almost turns around and goes home until he sees you at the bar. alone. perfect.

"oh, y/n... didn't expect to run into you here. what are the chances?"

"oh my god, wilbur! what the fuck are you doing out of the house?"

"buying you a drink, hopefully."

INCELBUR who can smell the alcohol on your breath and see the way your lipstick is smudged, who the fuck have you been kissing? he considered asking so he could deck the guy but decides against it. you're smiling at him and it makes him docile, you could get him to do anything if you asked. it makes him feel pathetic, a love sick fool, but he can't ignore those feelings.

INCELBUR who buys you a drink just like he said he would, even when you protest and tell him he doesn't need to. you need to see him as a gentleman, a man who can provide for you. a good man, a great boyfriend too. your arm keeps touching his as you lean against the bar, it sends shockwaves straight to his dick and he's confident if you looked down you could see the outline of his boner through the denim.

INCELBUR who leans in you kiss you and you turn away, his lips finding your cheek instead. you tell him you aren't interested in him like that, he's sweet, but he's just a friend. you tell him to take it slow, that you like having him around and he means a lot to you. just not in the way he likes you, he thinks bitterly. he feels like crying, he's humiliated. he considered grabbing you by the back of the head and making you kiss him anyway, maybe if you felt his lips on yours you'd realise how amazing he was. but he decides against hit, the last thing he wants is to make you hate him. he hates himself enough already.

INCELBUR who leaves a few minutes after that, he can't stand the shame he feels because of his transgression. of course you don't love him, who could love a freak like him? he's ugly, he has no future, he's never even kissed anyone before. he shouts at a random couple he passes on the way home, telling the man his girl is a whore who will just break his heart. he punches a tree on a quiet street until his knuckles bleed and he stumbles into a bottle shop to grab some vodka. he's finished half the bottle before he's made it home, stumbling and crying.

[franklinfinley]

Hey! I'm Franklin, he/they. First year student at Naranja Academy, but I've been through several Gym Circuts for 7 years at this point. The school year's just started, but things are already looking up! I'm a ghost and fire type specialist, as well as a general Drowzee/Hypno specialist LOL

MY CURRENT TEAM:

Koraidon: a strange form of Cyclizar given to me by my friend Arven, originally owned by his mother Professor Sada. He doesn't battle, morseso acts as a riding mount and food-stealer >:P

Lullay: my service Hypno and first partner Pokemon. We've been a duo for 14 years now! She doesn't primarily battle, she mostly helps with my anxiety and insomnia. She steps up for defense if we need it, though.

Tabasco: my Skeledirge and chosen starter for Naranja Academy! He's a little scrapper and eager to prove himself in a fight, and just as eager to sit back, sing his little songs, and eat all my oranges. Little orange heathen even as he grows up

Sparky: my Luxray! He's a bundle of energy and a reckless battler. He loves nothing more than getting to flaunt his stuff and also wail and cry and flail his fists on the ground when he loses

Sushi: my Curly Tatsugiri, and an odd quiet fellow. He likes splashing water on the other teammates for funny pranks and curling up in my collar or hair. That being said, he is a FIERCE battler. Honestly kinda scary with what he can pull off from such a tiny body...

Arthur: my Beartic! He's very polite with me and the team, but fierce when it comes to defense. It might take a while for him to warm up to any of my friends...

Strawberry Lemonade: my shiny Amped-Up Toxtricity, who i rescued from the wild as a Shadow variant. She's clingy and packs a MEGA punch, currently working through a bit of trauma regarding an awful ex-trainer. She's getting better every day :D

Montez: my Garchomp, and just what you'd expect from such a feared creature. She's the meanest of the group and always first to volunteer for a fight. She swings hard and fights to kill. I'm currently working to make her more tame and willing to be calm.

Things at Naranja are going great! My friend Nemona has shown me all the ropes, and I feel like I'm gonna have a good few years here. This might just be my Yelling About Things blog. So if you're into that thing feel free to tag along!

[OOC UNDER CUT]

Heallo this is the in character blog i have for my self insert!! I follow from my main @yatgb

Be prepared for Main Character And Mary Sue Shenanigans, and dont be afraid to ask abt stuff he mentions in posts!! I plan to have this going as a whole thing with arcs and all that, basically going through all of scarvi's plot, including DLC down the line. This WAS gonna be an art-based askblog but i dont rlly have the time for one of those :( but ill be posting story snippets later down the lind!

Pelipper Mail is on as long as its something small, he wont accept like new pokemon or money or anything. Think like what youd get from a mystery gift :D Magic Anons are off!

Also, dont take everything Franklin says at face-value. He's got a loong history, and some secrets to hide. There's a chance he could be lying about some stuff ',:) expect a well meaning but unreliable narrator

That being said, I like to do my own worldbuilding so whenever he goes into biology details dont look too hard into it. We're havin fun here. I also don't plan on doing any multiverse shenanigans. This is a self contained story about an oc thats very dear to me :D so just go with the flow. I might interact with other blogs as long as its feasible they could on Rotomblr connected through a multiverse.

Other character interaction is encouraged, as well has sentient pokemon except Legendaries! He has his own lore with a lot of legends it would be a little wack

Here's what he looks like! With Lullay!

[the-writings-of-a-kiwi-bird]

Sorry, Reenie~

tags: angst/comfort, crack treated seriously maybe (not really taken seriously actually), medical inaccuracies probably (dont have the spoons to do research, im pretty vague though), kidnapping, referenced past drugging but in a lighthearted way and only once near the end

a little bit of Aventurine/Topaz at the end if you squint, but it can be interpretted as platonic, too

(i think thats it? idk)

this is 100% based on one of the numerous plotting/fic situations @silvercaptain24 and I think up/ping pong off each other in our DMs lol. im also only posting mainly this because its the easiest way to share with her XD

fic below cut (about 1400 words i thkn?)

Aventurine pushed his chair away from his desk and stood. 

I’ve been staring at these documents too long, I need a break. 

He exited his office, making sure to lock the door behind him, and began to make his way towards the end of the building where Topaz’s office is. 

Maybe I can talk her into lunch. It's been a while since I ate. 

He rounded a corner and was immediately grabbed and pulled into a janitorial closet. 

Before he could respond, a hand holding a cloth covered his nose and mouth. 

Aventurine held his breath and struggled, fighting to break free. 

“Oh come on, that’s taking too long!” An unfamiliar voice complained. 

Something hit his head hard, and the world turned black. 

~~ 

He awoke lying on his side. 

Everything hurt, and his mind was clouded with fog and pain. 

Aventurine tried to move his arms, only to painfully discover that they had been bound behind his back with rope, rather tightly. He did his best to remain silent and fought his eyes open. 

The floor he was laying on was dirt, which would explain the musty smell. It was dark, too dark to see much beyond the rusty iron bars in front of him. He could hear faint voices, but couldn't tell what they were saying or even what direction they came from. 

Panic fought to overtake his already limited mind, and he struggled to fight against it. 

I’m trapped. I can’t get free. Even if I could, those bars look strong. Everything hurts. What had I been doing? Where am I? I can move my feet. What good will that do? They’ve probably confiscated all my things. I can’t even call for help. I don't know if I’m even strong enough right now. I'm trapped. It’s so dark— 

His eyes threatened to close, and the room kept spinning. His wrists burned, the pain overpowering even the rest of the pain and making thoughts difficult. Painful memories threatened to surface, and he forced himself to focus on the pain instead. 

Aventurine’s whole body trembled, heart beating fast and loud. His neck burned, a phantom pain from memories long past resurfaced. 

Pistols fired somewhere in the distance, and the nearby voices turned to far away shouts. 

He was shaking, and not just from the cold. 

A familiar voice said something nearby. Or maybe far away? He wasn't sure. 

Panic swirled in his mind, drowning out all other thoughts besides the pain. 

He heard metal clangs, and the creaking of rusty hinges. That familiar yet unplaceable voice said something else he did not register, more insistent this time. 

Aventurine shut his eyes and struggled to try and get his breathing even. If they think he's asleep, they’ll leave him alone. Right?

The voice spoke again, definitely closer this time, and still not understandable. 

The pain in his wrists flared and he heard someone whimper pathetically. 

On second thought, that may have been him. 

The voice kept speaking to him, and he barely registered that a tension around his wrists had been broken. The searing pain lessened slightly. 

More speaking. He thinks. 

Icy cold water splashed Aventurine in the face, and he shot his eyes wide open with a gasp.  

“Geez, it’s ‘bout time!” A familiar metal hand waved in his face. “Are ya with me now, Fancy Pants?” 

Aventurine moved to sit up, but the pain in his wrists inhibited that. Someone lifted him into an upright position. 

Finally, he looked up. “… Boothill?” 

The space cowboy flashed a toothy grin. “Oh good, that little brain of yours is working again. C’mon kid, let's get you out of here.” 

Boothill lifted Aventurine with ease, one metal arm beneath his legs and the other supporting his back. Aventurine vaguely heard the space ranger mumble something about ‘muddle fudging son of nice ladies shirt bags ash voles’. 

Aventurine found himself relaxing somewhat, fighting to keep his eyes open as he bounced slightly with each step Boothill took. 

Boothill sighed. “Relax, kid, just get some sleep. You’re safe now. I’ll hold you for ransom when you wake up.” 

Aventurine relaxed fully, drifting off to sleep before the words had even fully registered. 

~~~

Aventurine awoke in a room he shouldn’t even recognize, much less be all too familiar with. 

“Ugh, so much for getting some work done today.” He groaned and stood, clutching his head with one hand as he waited for the room to stop spinning. He walked to the door and hesitated as he grabbed the handle, cherishing his last moments of peace before his headache inevitably gets much worse. 

~

“Well hello there, sleepyhead,” Boothill greeted. 

Two metal hands clasped each shoulder and not-no-gently steered him into a chair at the table, the biggest plate Aventurine had ever seen situated in front of him. It was overfilled with his favorite foods. 

He glanced back at Boothill, eyebrow raised skeptically. “There is absolutely no way I can eat all that. And I don't remember the ipc having any confidential files that list what my favorite foods are,” he added. 

Boothill smirked and simply shrugged. “Wow, favorite foods huh? What a coincidence! Anyways, Fancy Pants, you’d best get to eating, won’t know how much you can eat til you try!” 

Aventurine glared suspiciously at the food and drink in front of him. “Please tell me you didn’t drug it this time, i think i've had enough sleep for today.”

“Nah, you got plenty of sleep already, not necessary this time.” Boothill waved a hand dismissively, gaze never leaving Aventurine. “You should start eating though, I already sent the message to that Topaz lady and she’s usually pretty quick at sending the random money.” 

Aventurine began to eat, doing his best to refrain from wolfing it all down immediately. “You do know she transfers that from her personal account so she doesn’t have to go through Jade every time, right?” 

“It's okay, every time this happens that exact amount of money mysteriously disappears from the IPC’s bank account and appears in hers.” 

Aventurine froze, then turned his head slowly to look at Boothill. “You can do that. This whole time. What’s even the point of ransom then???” 

“More fun this way,” Boothill said with a toothy grin. “And it gives me the opportunity to make sure my Greatest Competition And Nemesis is Taking Care Of Himself well enough that we can be evenly matched still.” 

Aventurine rolled his eyes and continued eating. “I thought you were done with that ridiculous title.” 

Boothill chuckled. “Why would I be done with it, O Greatest Competition And Nemesis? It's the most fitting, after all.” 

Aventurine groaned, and Boothill watched closely to make sure he actually ate everything. 

~~ 

There was a knock at the ship’s door, and Boothill opened it to reveal a very exasperated Topaz. 

“Alright, Boothill, you’ve got the money. Can we have our dumbass back now?” 

“Hey!” Aventurine protested. Both ignored him. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure thing little lady.” Boothill patted Aventurine on the back forcefully, sending the man tumbling forward. 

Topaz calmly stepped aside and let him fall. 

“Thanks. I assume he’s been fed again?” 

“Obviously. Make sure the muddlefudger uses the healing ointment I gave him for his wrists, which were absolutely not my doing for the record.” 

Aventurine stood and dusted himself off, grumbling about loser friends who clearly hate him and not being a child who needs supervision. 

“Will do. See you next time, I unfortunately assume?” Topaz asked. 

“Yep!” Boothill replied cheerfully. “Nice doin’ business with ya.” 

Topaz nodded and turned, grabbing Aventurine’s arm. “Come on idiot, let's go.” 

She turned back to Boothill one last time, expression much softer for a split second. “…thanks for taking care of him.” 

She turned again, all but dragging Aventurine with her. 

“Hey, this time really wasn’t my fault,” he insisted defensively. 

Topaz glanced at him, a brief moment of concern on her face before she returned to that annoyed expression she always wore around him. “Yeah. I know.” She hesitated. “And… I’m glad you’re okay. I guess.” 

“You know,” she added quickly, “because I don’t want to be doing my and your workload. That's all. Definitely.” 

Aventurine smiled fondly. “Sure.” 

They took a few more steps before he paused. 

“Wait what do you mean you know? How?” 

Topaz groaned. “Mister Boothill demanded more credits than usual for, and I quote, ‘saving you shirt bags from having to rescue him from some forking muddle fudgers, and saving y’all the trouble of taking care of the ash voles.’” 

Aventurine smacked his forehead with his palm and sighed. “Of course he did. Why am I not surprised.”

Topaz shrugged. “That Galaxy Ranger really confuses me sometimes, you know.” 

“Only sometimes?” 

She smacked his arm. 

“Anyways, you owe me big time. Again.” 

“Yeah, yeah. The usual Lunch for a week I assume?” 

“Make it two this time.” 

“… fine, two.” 

~~~~~

[cowboywithacunt]

Really? Do u mean it? All the blood, right to the tip? Without me even touching u? Thats adorable. Does it hurt? Would it hurt more or less if I gave it a very small very quick kiss<3 lol

Restraining u would not be that difficult, no matter the excuse<3 And maybe I know ur "letting me" tie u at first. Maybe I know ur going kind of easy. Thats alright. I dont rlly mind. The moment u struggle against my pretty silk ropes and I get to see the look on ur handsome face when u finally understand what uve gotten urself into. When u finally admit to me what u so desperately need. That moment is everything<33 To hear ur bothered breathing as u realize ur being overpowered by ME of all people. I would savor that taste as long as I could💋 keep u ready and vulnerable for me as long as I wanted xx

Goddamn, I NEED something like this. There's something so uniquely hot about going into sex thinking I'm gonna be in charge, then having it turned around on me. Snapping at you and pulling against my restraints because you're being an absolute brat and need to be put in your place; that's how these things go, right? People like you act up, then get punished by people like me.

Bit hard to do any punishing when I ain't even able to get up, though.

Trying so hard to still act tough as you play with me. Talking shit and calling you names, because that's what I'm used to. Even still, it's not long before I'll be bucking my hips into your touch or trying to close my legs, bouncing between desperately wanting to cum and wanting to stop. My dick can only take so much, and I'm not used to this much constant attention on it.

Whining and slurring my words and stuttering and sniffling pathetically when you ask me to speak and tell you what I want, what I need. Red in the face, dick twitching needily, a pool of my wetness under me from my cunt.

By the time I'm finally untied, I'll be too humiliated to even try and punish you for what you did. Humiliated and exhausted.

[adwox]

i dont really care for human AUs of mega man characters but a zerox-centric college AU is actually so funny to me

-X graduates at the top of his class is therefore able to shave one year off at college, so hes put in the sophomore year dorms and his roommate is zero

-zero only went to college cause his stupid dad WAS a professor at university, but he got shitcanned halfway through his first term cause wily publicly cursed zero out for not paying attention in class

-light ended up being wilys replacement, to which neither X nor zero knew about until one day during parents weekend they both arrive to their boys dorm room at the same time. and yes they are bitter exs just like in the real games

-zero is a trustfund baby i said what i said. he kind of does not gaf about college at all but he is a dedicated D1 athlete and does work on the campus coffee shop (its the only place he will actually end up doing his homework because he functions best in a loud environment)

-X is duel-majoring because light has subconsciously put a lot of pressure on him especially after his oldest sibling blues dropped out very early on. rock never went to college because seeing what blues went through kind of freaked him out. roll plans on attending one day but is currently working to save up money first and also she just kind of doesnt feel like it yet. X is the worlds first youngest sibling to have eldest daughter syndrome

-despite being in the same graduating class, zero is still technically older, so X looks up to him as an upperclassmen. zero does feel an obligation to show him the ropes so he does look after him for a good while during X's first semester but he soon realizes firsthand just how capable he is

(non-hard drug talk below)

-neither of them ironically share vices, since they both make the respective other anxious. X is a wake and bake kind of guy, zero is a Drinks black coffee an hour before midnight person

-X only recently tried coffee again because zero made him a lavender latte specifically for him. even tho it was decaf, X still felt like his heart was about to jump out of his throat which he felt SO bad about since he knew zero specifically made it for him. and this happened within the first week of the term so they hadnt known each other that well, so X was very very embarrassed knowing zero was just watching him shake like a little leaf. though zero found it all rather amusing

-zero never smoked before because bass was a chronic smoker and it kind of turned him off since they didnt really get along for a while (theyre on much better terms now, they soulbond over wily causing them grief these days). X offers to roll for zero on the very first weekend cause in his mind X is like: college sophomore, how to get on good terms? offer free weed. Unfortunately a few hits in zero is white-knuckling his kneecaps and doing everything in his power not to throw up. he learned the hard way then and there that he is too paranoid for that shit, and while X felt so incredibly guilty for a while, he did feel it let them both become closer faster since zero did need to let his guard down to let X take care of him that evening

(end drug talk)

-X goes to every game zero is in (i really like the idea of the sport zero plays being hockey but idk if theres D1 hockey teams in college Lol) despite knowing nothing about the sport rules

-X finds out vile is actually on the same sports team as zero which is SO awkward for him since they had VERY briefly dated before X realized just how incompatible they were. whenever vile puts two and two together about who X's roommate is, let it be known he will be scheming........

-X joins the improv club because he feels he struggles a lot with making decisions on the fly, but to his surprise hes very great at adapting to other people! zero, who kind of used to think it was a rather silly club, ends up sitting in on some of their performances and finds it quite endearing

-also the first bonding moment X and zero have is when zero notices X hang up a photo of rush on their corkboard and is like: "oh shit i like your dog. i have one too. (shows photo of treble) i mean technically hes my older brothers but hes the only one that cares to make that distinction." X responds immediately full of newfound excitement: "no way, i have an older brother too! well, two of them. and an older sister.... but since i was the last one to leave the house, i always felt like i was taking care of them whenever theyd come back." IMMEDIATE soul bonding over family dynamics ensue

[dandyshucks]

idk why i'm dancing around it. i think i just get scared of "spoiling" things but this is not a typical novel, and anyhow i don't even write typical novels anymore.

anyways. S/I brainstorming/info under the cut including the previous idea i had for them that i've decided to abandon

so Ky is a fae. he works as a camp counselor (both in the typical sense and in a literal counselor/therapist sense) at Deadwood (my worldbuild's year-round camp for misfits and monsters). and there's a bunch of other info there but it all gets sort of complex so i'm not going to get into all of that rn fsdjkl

but the S/I... the initial idea I had was for them to be a fae taken in by humans (sort of a changeling situation) and they'd always feel wrong bc of . being a fae and having all their fae instincts and behaviours punished. and ummm it sort of would reflect my experience as growing up with undiagnosed autism in a household/family where two of my siblings were diagnosed at a young age (and my other sibling was diagnosed with ADHD but apparently i just. somehow flew under the radar bc i was ... different and didn't make enough of a fuss i guess. but also making a fuss was punished so uhhhh.... but i digress!). there was some other symbolism to it but i dont even remember at this point fdjskl i'd have to go look at my notes and i'm not interested in doing that tbh LOL

anyways the new direction: S/I meets Ky and learns about fae, and starts thinking "ohh maybe i'm a fae too and THAT is why i feel so out of place". and um. no. theyre not fae. they are just different and society is unkind to ppl who are different. as much as they may wish for there to be a good explanation for the mistreatment and social outcasting they've endured, there is none. sometimes things just suck and you just go through shit and it doesn't mean anything.

but this new direction also has a fun new thing to go along with it ! where S/I can go with Ky to the fae realm and not immediately fit in bc they're still only human so Ky has to show them the ropes and keep them out of trouble, and I think that has some very fun possibilities to it. Ky could bring them to court balls and other events.... and there's some interesting ideas for how that would go if theyre human, moreso than if they were a fae.

I DUNNOOOO i feel silly about all of this now. i keep avoiding talking about anything ever bc i feel like i get too story-focused on anything other than guzbug but i love stories and storytelling... and this is my blog dhgsjkl i make this space whatever i want it to be. i do feel sometimes (...oftentimes) like i rly do not belong in this general space so i try hard to just sit in my corner and focus on my own things so that i dont look around and notice how out-of-place i am, but sometimes i still get anxious or panicky sdfjkl

[horsegirlalexkralie]

...tell us more about this au and jay being passed around like a blunt. If you dont mind.

absolutely i love my bullshit nonsense aus thank u so much for asking . gonna put it under a readmore bc its long and it gets raunchy. kids dont look

i see it like a hills have eyes/texas chainsaw sitch where brian and alex "inherited" a house somewhere bc they lizzie bordened their way out of the town they grew up in and got married legally w alex on the books as the wife - they raise livestock and kill for fun and eventually take tim in bc brian finds him out in the fields stumbling around covered in blood. amy hires them to have her parents killed and ends up sticking around to murder dudes who beat their wives.

jays an independent journalist on a roadtrip to research like. god even fucking knows what. but his cars a piece of shit so it breaks the fuck down of course in the middle of nowhere and he stands around kicking it and yelling in the rain until a truck stops and the most handsome guy jays ever seen steps out and offers to help haul it to his place. he'll at least give jay a ride, theres no service out here. (he doesnt really give room to refuse.)

so jay rides out to this guys brothers? place? brothers? wifes? the guy doesnt really talk. and theres a girl on the porch, and shes pretty and blonde and she tells him to come in and have a drink- jay asks if shes the brothers wife and she laughs and tells him shes the sister in law. "or something like that". and he didnt really ask what the drink was, but its like? sweet tea? but wrong? but these nice people in alabama wouldnt fuck up sweet tea. jay smoked a joint in the car. thats it. and the brother comes out and hes better looking than the guy with the truck, almost, which like where the fuck did he go? he said he'd get jay a phone- but theyre taking him out to the kitchen- the brothers wifes cooking and she wants to meet him, and shes pretty too, tall and smart-looking, deep voice- big fucking knife in her hand- and is it jay or is it getting kinda fucking dark in here.

idk i think it wld be fun if they made a game of "letting him go" and just letting him get halfway down a hallway before somebody else drags him into a bedroom lol . brian lets his darling little wife and her meat cleaver wear him out and cuts the rope on his wrists- thats enough for tonight, isnt it? he oughta be going. and jay crawls, stumbles bleeding and disbelieving out into the hall - clutching the railing and hyperventilating and putting one foot in front of the other and - amy snags her arm in his. you arent going so soon, are you mister? oh gosh youre hurt ! come here, let me clean you up- and she ties him back up and asks if hes ever tried makeup and asks if hes ever tried s&m and asks if he wants to see a dead body and when his mascaras running and the dead girls dress she put him in is ripped and stained and half-on she tells him if he really wants to go that bad ... she cant really stop him ..... only for tim to scoop him up in the hall and pull the skirt up to fuck him over the railing, stoic as anything, knife at his throat

and theyre gonna kill him but they all keep putting it off bc hes cute and maybe stockholm syndroming the tiniest bit and maybe definitely was a freak to begin with and keeps getting hard when theyre doing fucked up shit to him and complimenting the human furniture

[darkthingshappen]

Whumptober: No. 1 A LITTLE OUT OF THE ORDINARY

This is a BROTHER'S KEEPER entry. Takes place later in the recapture arc.

I am not dead. Sorry for the long delay. I've been distracted in the main story line by @whumptober prompts. So here we go and we start off with a bang.

Warnings for blood, hand whump, religious imagery (mock crucifixion) and religious talk - this is because Volkov is a bastard, like always. and Ben is just trying to hang on to himself. Also, this one's a bit long, but tomorrow's is pretty short. LOL So let's just say I borrowed some of tomorrow's length and used it today.

Tagging List: @i-can-even-burn-salad @peachy-panic @deluxewhump @arwenadreamer @whumpcereal @melancholy-in-the-morning @dont-touch-my-soup @whumpsday @keeper-of-all-the-random-things @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert @melennui @susiequaz12 @morning-star-whump @crystalquartzwhump @whump-and-other-things @mylifeisonthebookshelf @reflected-pain @hold-him-down @quietshae @sparrowsage @quietly-by-myself @no-terms-and-conditions-apply (I hope I’m not forgetting anyone - please let me know if I am and I’ll fix it.)

As ALWAYS, thanks to the AMAZING @whumpcereal for the beta. And to my whumperful crew that always cheers me on: @oddsconvert and @sparrowsage as well as @quietly-by-myself. Y'all are the best!

Adverse Effects | Unconventional Restraints | "This wasn't supposed to happen"

“Do you remember telling me that I’m not God?” Volkov growled as he dragged Ben towards the far end of the basement torture room.  

“Yes!” Ben spat back at him, “It’s still fucking true!”

Volkov smirked at the boy and threw him towards the wall.  Ben stumbled from the force, and his shoulder with the broken collarbone slammed into the wall. He sank down to his knees with an agonized groan.  Volkov reached down and yanked his hair back.

“See, I think you’re the one with the savior complex, Malyshka.  And you know what so often happens to saviors?”

Ben could only groan.  He grew tired of these games with Volkov.  He just wanted him to get on with it.  

“They get crucified,” Volkov growled with a gleam in his eye.  

Ben’s eyes widened and he felt the blood drain from his face.  “Wha-” He looked carefully at Volkov, trying to suss out what the man was planning.  Something in Volkov’s expression told him he should be very afraid of what was coming this time.  He wouldn’t actually crucify him, would he?  Fuck yes, the sadist would.  Ben was a fraction of a second too late to pull away and it’s not like he could get anywhere anyway on this island prison.  

Volkov dragged Ben to his feet and shoved his back against a beam of wood that Ben hadn’t realized was there.  The cuffs around his wrists were unlocked, and Dmitri stepped forward to help tie his torso to the beam.  

Ben let his weight sag against the ropes.  Why make it easy on these two fuckers? He knew better than to think they’d let him off easy if he didn’t fight.  Volkov actually had to hold him up while Dmitri secured him.  

Ben’s shoulder screamed as Dmitri yanked his arm up and stretched it out to the side.  There was a sound of metal scraping across the table in the center of the basement room just in front of him, and Ben lifted his head.  

He couldn’t believe what he saw.  

“No fucking way!  You can’t be serious!” Ben screamed at them while he started to thrash and struggle against Dmitri’s grasp.  

Volkov had a hammer in his hand and several long, thick, cruel-looking metal nails.  Or were they spikes? Ben didn’t want to know. 

“Let go!  Get off!  No!  You bastard.  No!” Ben screamed as Dmitri pinned his arm in place and pressed  Ben’s fingers open so he couldn’t make a fist.  Ben wailed his agony as Volkov pressed the sharp end of one of the nails against the middle of his palm.  He pushed in hard, twisting it against the soft flesh until blood streamed from the wound.  Only after blood was dripping to the floor did Volkov raise the hammer.  

Ben was being nailed to a fucking beam of wood.  How was this happening?  No one got nailed to crosses any more.  But leave it to fucking Alexsei Volkov to find ways to further insult Ben and his beliefs by torturing him like this.  He wouldn’t die.  Ben knew Volkov wouldn’t let that happen; he needed Ben to suffer.  Ben swiveled his head, even though he knew he shouldn’t and watched in horror.  

Ben screamed even louder as the hammer came down and the nail punched through his hand.  He yanked in reflex, trying to pull his hand away from the white hot torment.  His back arched against the beam but the ropes held him in place as Volkov hit the head of the thick nail again and again and again.  Ben could feel the nail moving through his hand as it was pounded into the wood.  

His hand radiated pain from the center of his impaled palm outward to his fingertips.  A throbbing that felt both burning hot and icy cold at the same time flowed up his arm.  Each strike with the hammer was like the cresting of a new wave that grew more and more unbearable.  In the back of Ben’s mind, he knew Volkov wouldn’t stop here.  He’d do this to both of his hands.  Was this something that would permanently cripple him?  Would he ever be able to use his hands again?

Volkov suddenly changed the angle of the hammer, shifting so that he began bending the nail upwards.  Every single strike of the hammer reverberated through the metal lodged in Ben’s hand.  Volkov slammed the hammer against the nail until the head of the nail was turned back against Ben’s hand, pinning his pierced hand against the wood.  

Ben gagged on the pain that washed through his body, retching up bile from his empty stomach.  He groaned and thrashed as Dmitri turned and pulled his or arm taut out to the opposite side.  

“No!  Please!  Please!  It hurts.  Let go!  Please.”

“You’d think you’d be happy to have the same experiences as your God.”  

Ben felt a sob break in his chest.  Volkov had always been a bastard, but this was next level even for him.  He’d tattooed religious imagery all over Ben’s back and he knew the man had been raised Eastern Orthodox, but clearly nothing had taken root.  Like everything else, Volkov used Ben’s beliefs as a weapon.  And fuck, it was effective.  Ben felt the tears tracking down his cheeks and they weren’t just from the pain.  

Ben squeezed his eyes shut and tried to suck in a breath before Volkov started on his next hand, but Volkov jammed the nail against the small of his palm and started twisting before Ben could finish. Ben’s cry started small and the scream rose in intensity as Volkov worked to push the nail through his skin without the hammer.  He felt the metal grinding against the small bones in his hand, felt them stretching and moving to accommodate the thickness of the nail.  He felt the give of skin as the nail punctured his hand completely.  

Volkov gave a small gasp of satisfied effort before he raised the hammer and repeated the process.  When they were done nailing Ben’s hands and curling the nails up so that he couldn’t pull his hands off the metal, they untied the ropes.  Ben whimpered as his hands took his weight and he realized he’d have to stand there, arms outstretched for as long as Volkov wanted him to.  His broken collarbone throbbed and his shoulder ached, but it was nothing compared to the burning, intense throbbing that emanated from his hands. 

Volkov grabbed his hair and yanked his head back against the rough upright post of the wood.  

“Be glad I don’t fucking feel like nailing your feet right now.  Piss me off again and that may not be the case.  Now, let’s see how much damage we can do over the next say… sixteen hours or so.  Might make it longer.  I’ll just have to see what you sound and look like - whether or not I’m satisfied.”  He quirked a lopsided grin at Ben.  “Tell me, where is your God right now?  Why is he so silent?  Why doesn’t he come down here himself and get you out of this?  If he’s so all powerful, and he cares so much about you, little scholar, then why has he given you to me twice now?  Hmm?  Think about that while you’re down here.”

“God is love.  And you will never understand that.  It’s why you can’t beat him,” Ben whispered through clenched teeth. Volkov’s words ate at Ben because he was right, but Ben still fought.  He knew that Jesus had gone through much more than he had and, if the story was true, he’d done it for everyone.  Ben hoped it was true at that moment.  He really did.  Because, if it was, then he could hold on and not let Volkov beat him.  “All you know is fear and hatred.  He’s so much better than you.”

Volkov looked Ben up and down, expression thoroughly unimpressed, letting his eyes linger on the blood dripping down into little pools on the floor beneath Ben’s hands.  “Yes, clearly he is merciful and loving.  I can see the ringing truth in those words.”  He patted Ben’s cheek and smiled a wicked smile.  “See you in a few hours, little Benjamin.”

*!*!*!*!* 

Ben had no way of deciphering how many hours it had been;  maybe it had been over a day.  His hands and arms burned.  His legs cramped and the muscles spasmed.  There was no relief or comfortable position.  Sweat dripped down his body.  His broken collar bone throbbed mercilessly in his shoulder.  

Hour after hour, the torment dragged on until he couldn’t hold himself up anymore and it hurt to even breathe.  His hands held most of his weight as he fought to keep himself upright, knowing that if his knees truly gave out, the nails would rip through his hands.  

All the long while, the torture room was hot and dark; Ben couldn’t believe that he actually missed Volkov’s frigid compound, but he did.  But just as before, the lights were left off, and Ben could see or hear nothing from the outside world.  He wondered what they were doing to Jake.  Was his brother sleeping, being tortured and abused?  Was he with Dmitri?  Or maybe Volkov?  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he did wish they would let them see each other more often.  It was usually only when one or both of them was being hurt. It was hard to see Jake in pain. Ben knew that Jake thought he deserved it, that he wanted to atone for what had happened to Ben, but Ben would have given anything to keep Jake from suffering the things he already had. 

But Ben had never suffered like this before. 

He couldn’t keep Volkov’s taunts, his cruel and blasphemous words, from worming into his brain.  The words played over and over and he felt not quite doubt, but maybe mistrust of the God he claimed to love creeping in.  

Why?  Why would God allow this to happen?  The question raged in Ben’s mind even though he tried so hard to shove it back down.  Ben wasn’t afraid of doubt.  He’d had it before.  He liked questions.  He wanted to be a scientist after all.  But this level of cruelty, while believing that God is love was a hard contrast.  The only thing that helped it to make sense was that God has allowed his own son to go through this too.  But Ben wasn’t trying to redeem the fucking world.  So why was he having to suffer like this?  What was the point?  Ben couldn’t find a good answer and it made all of his pain so much worse.  

After what seemed like days, there was a commotion at the far end of the room, near where the door was.  Ben heard Volkov’s voice along with several sets of footsteps. 

“I told you I would take you to him.  He’s been meditating… getting closer to his God.  Communing with him, if you will.  What is it the Bible says? ‘To know Him… and the fellowship of his sufferings.’  Well, I’ve just given him the chance to fully understand this.  Go on, he’s at the far end of the room.  I left the hammer there, should you need it.”

It made Ben sick to hear scripture from Volkov’s lips. 

“Hammer… you fucking bastard.  You didn’t.  You couldn’t…”  

Ben closed his eyes, trying to escape a wave of pain. Jake was there. Jake was going to see him like this.  

There was a resounding slap that echoed back to Ben, still hanging in the shadows.  

“I suggest you be a bit more respectful unless you want to join him like the thief on the cross.  We all know you have things you could atone for.”

There was no response from Jake that Ben could hear, but he knew that Volkov’s words would wound Jake deeply.

So did Volkov. “Go on, big brother.  Run along and be the savior we all know you’ll never actually be.”

There was a shuffling of feet and then running.  “Ben?  Benny?  You okay?”

Ben could barely lift his head.  All his energy was focused on breathing, and not letting his legs give out beneath him.  HIs mouth was dry.  His tongue felt hot and thick in his mouth.  He didn’t think he could talk even if he wanted to.  Part of him did want to call out to Jake, but he was just so tired.  And so fucking hurt.  

He didn’t see Jake come into view.  He couldn’t lift his head to face him.  

“Jesus!  Benny!  Fuck!  Hang on, Benny.  Hang on.  I’ll get you down.  Hold on, buddy.  God, please.  Help me.”

Jake reached for Ben’s hand, his fingers exploring the nail and cursing more when he saw that it was curved upward and pounded back into the wood.  

“Fucking bastard!” Jake growled.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I’ll get you down.  I’m sorry.”

Ben could hear the tears in Jake’s voice.  Everything felt sluggish, and he couldn’t make his mouth work to tell Jake it was okay.  Was it okay?  It wasn’t okay.  Everything hurt, and his whole body was shaking.  He was going to lose his battle to stay upright in just a moment.  He could feel it.  The shaking was getting so bad.  The cramps and spasms in his legs, arms, and back were threatening to completely overwhelm him.  Something cold came in contact with the top of his hand.  

“Hold still, Benny.  I’m so fucking sorry if this hurts.  I don’t know what else to do,” Jake said with a sob.  

Ben screamed as the nail was wrenched backward and then up and out of his hand.  He slumped forward, and Jake caught him, but all Ben’s remaining weight went to his left hand and he cried out against Jake’s shoulder.  

“I know.  I know.  I know.  God!  Fuck I’m sorry.  I know.  I’m trying, Benny.  Hold on.  Almost done.”  

There was another loud screeching noise as the nail was bent back and pulled out of the wood through Ben’s other hand.  Jake only just managed to catch Ben and help him slowly sink to the ground.  Jake shifted, pulling them both towards the wall, Jake’s backside and Ben’s feet dragging through the puddle of blood on the floor.  Jake got the wall against his back and draped Ben across his lap, cradling Ben’s curled hands near his chest. 

Jake’s legs shook beneath Ben’s body. He hoped Ben didn’t notice; Jake had to be brave enough for them both just now.  

Ben was crying again.  He cried a lot here.  Especially when it got bad.  And this was one of the worst.  It wasn’t just the torture.  It was all the psychological manipulation.  Jake knew Volkov must have said something to Ben.  Ben lay there sobbing into Jake’s chest.  He kept his ruined hands held loosely in front of him. Jake tried not to stare, but  they shook violently, blood dripping from Ben’s open wounds. 

“Shhh.  Shhh…  It’s okay, Benny.  It’s over.  I got you.  I got you, buddy.  I got you, little bro.”

“Why?” Ben said the one question he truly didn’t have an answer to.  Volkov was right.  Why would God let this happen?  The question had twisted into him like the nails in his hands over the duration of his torment.  

“Why what, Benny?” 

“Why would God let this happen?”

Jake thought for a moment, his hand moving gently through Ben’s hair. “You know why?”

“I don’t think I do.  Not anymore.”

“Come on, Ben.  You know what ma would say.  We live in a fallen world.  People can be evil because of sin.  God is love.”

“D-doesn’t… doesn’t feel like that.”

“Benny, you know ma was right.  Christ died for you.  You’re not dead.  You’re okay.  I know you’re hurt.  But God is still love.  Remember that scripture she used to read to us… the long one… the… the famous one?”

Ben couldn’t think.  He couldn’t remember.  “Can you tell me?”

“Love is patient, love is kind,” Jake recited haltingly.  “Love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”

Ben’s harsh breathing was starting to calm just a bit, but the tears still flowed.  

“Remember that God also said that all things work together for the good of those who love him.  I know you love God, Benny.  It’s how I know you’re gonna make it out of here.”

“Not going anywhere without you, bro.”  Ben’s eyes were shut, and his dry throat was raspy as he talked into Jake’s chest.  Tremors still ran through his body, but the pain was slowly ebbing.

Jake was at a loss. He thought of home, of what their mother would have done for Ben. He started humming Ode to Joy, his little brother’s favorite hymn.  

“No,” Ben interrupted, “No, not that one.  Not right now.  Not until I’m back in Zoe’s arms, and she can play it for me.”

“Okay, Benny.  What do you want to hear?”

“Whatever you can remember.  But I don’t exactly feel joyful r-right… right now.”  Ben said.  He still felt like he couldn’t catch his breath, and he needed to rest.  God, did he ever need to rest. 

Jake pulled Ben a bit closer to him and kissed the top of his head while he thought.  He remembered a story their dad had told him about his favorite hymn.  It was written by a man whose four daughters drowned at sea.  The man took the same voyage his family had and told the captain to wake him when he reached the spot where his children had drowned.  The captain agreed, and when they reached the spot, he went and woke the man.  The man then wrote the hymn ‘It is well with my soul.’  

That story had always stayed with Jake because he didn’t understand how someone could react to tragedy like that, with so much faith.  Jake cradled his brother against him and started to sing, even though he wasn’t even sure he could remember all the words. He wasn’t Zoe; he wasn’t their mother; but he would do whatever he could for Ben. 

When peace like a river attendeth my soul

When sorrows like sea billows roll.  

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul.  

Jake softly sang the chorus over his brother, and then the next verse.  

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, 

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed his own blood for my soul.

It is well with my soul, 

It is well, it is well with my soul…

Somehow, Jake was able to recall the entire song.  He hadn’t sung that song, especially not every verse, probably since middle school.  He didn’t know where the words had come from, but he was grateful.

When he finished, Ben lay still in his arms, his chest rising and falling softly, evenly.  

Jake rested his cheek gently on Ben’s hair.  And then he did something he hadn’t done in ages: he prayed.  A real prayer, not a half assed quick prayer, but a real, genuine, heart-felt, gut-wrenching prayer that conferred his deepest request to the God of the universe he wasn’t sure he even believed in… but he knew Ben did.  

“Thank you, God, for helping me remember.  I know you and I don’t have the best relationship… or any relationship.  But, if it’s not too much trouble, Ben and I would like to go home soon.  Please.  Please help us get out of here and make it home safely.  I know I’ve screwed up my life a million times over, so if it’s just one of us, could you please let it be Ben?  He loves you, and he never deserved any of this.  Please, God.  It wasn’t supposed to be like this.  I know you have a plan, or at least that’s what our parents always said.  So, could you just let him live.  Let him get home safely.  I don’t care about me.  Maybe I’m too far gone.  But Benny…”  Jake didn’t know what else to say, there didn’t seem to be anything else to ask.  That was all he wanted.  

Ben stirred slightly in his arms.  “Not going without you,” he whispered again.  “If He’s gonna save me, then He’s gotta save you too.  And no one’s too far gone, Jake… not while… not while… still breathing”  Ben’s speech slurred a bit in his exhaustion. 

Somehow, Jake didn’t think that sentiment applied to Alexei Volkov. But he admired Ben’s faith anyway. He kissed Ben’s hair and sank back against the wall.  

“Okay, Benny.  We go together.  Now, shhhh.  Get some sleep.”  

Jake started to hum the tune he’d just sung and didn’t stop for a long time, until he was sure that Ben was sleeping deeply in his arms. 

[imightgetbetter]

(sorry this one is in first person, just kinda seemed easier since thats how i normnally write lol)

I lay on his bed completely naked and vulnerable under Matty’s watchful gaze, staring hungrily. my eyes screwed shut as I whined and squirmed as Matty covers me in soft kisses and every now and then bites, leaving red angry marks on my skin, painful and sore in the most exquisite way leaving me straining against the soft ropes keeping my hands together above my head. The room is dark except for the bedside lamp, bathing the room in soft hues of yellow and orange. The moonlight filters through it, creating shadows that dance along my body as Matty moves above me, fingers trailing over my skin, hot and sweaty, i cant even think now, mind entirely overrun by matty, his scent, cigarettes and perfume, the feeling of his skin on mine, his shirt long abandoned, leaving him in nothing but his dress pants, the band of his boxers resting on his hip bone, he looks picture perfect, so fucking pretty, even now. 

I am panting, my breath coming out short and ragged, but I can't help the shiver that runs through my body with each kiss or bite. I want more, I need more; I want Matty to fill me so badly it hurts. Every single time Matty teases me with a touch, I feel like I could come right then and there. 

 Matty sits himself between my legs and  I gasp, snapping out of my thoughts at a sudden cold hand grabbing my thigh, skin soft but with noticeable callouses on the fingers from playing guitar for years, running up along the sensitive skin without care or delicacy, barely avoiding where i want it most. My back arches up desperately, trying to trick him, to get him to touch where i need most, but hes careful enough avoiding it, and pushing me back down cruelly. 

Leaning up, hes breathing heavily, panting, this is turning him on too, hes not even touched himself yet and hes already a mess, moaning as he touches me, knowing that my pleasure is causing him so much joy is more than i can bare. Soft lips brushing the shell of my ear, breath fanning across the back of my neck,

“Dont flinch”

The cold sting of metal, trailing along hot skin keeps me from moving, pressed down hard enough to leave a sensation but not enough to cause harm, I wince and moan, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes, as he feels more of the same, each time it grows less scary, enjoying the sensation more, leaning into it, keeping still, i trust Matty implicitly, he knows what hes doing, hes taking car eof me, just like he promised. I relax into it, letting my eyes flutter closed, focusing on his breathing, heavy and hot, the feeling of the knife, gentle, soft and cold, stinging from the cold as it trails along the plain of my stomach, following along the curve of my breast, pressing the dull edge of the knife to my nipple, the bundle of nerves bends at the pressure and i cant help but let out a small hiss at the sensation, almost immediately he pulls away,

“Sorry.” 

“S’ok” 

 Matty places a soft kiss on my thigh before moving up and placing one last kiss on my aching clit; not enough to satisfy me, just enough to let me know that I can't get off right now.

 I try, with very little success to buck my hips, to silently beg for more, but matty just presses me into the bed, harsher now, grip tight, leaving finger shaped indents on my hip, its going to bruise, having his handprint on my hip for days, marking me if only temporarily is too much to think about.

"Behave"  Matty growls, his hot breath hitting my chest.

BEHAVE???????

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

wow me thinking about dick Greyson? more likely than you think!

Disclaimer I am just a guy on the internet having a self indulgence time for fun, my grasp on canon vs Fanon is shakier than when I tried rope climbing in P.E also I am not a trained medical professional all things related to adhd I talk about come from Personal Experience or further research FOOD AND TEXTURE: fun fact, people with adhd can hyper fixate on foods, found that out from my mom’s doctor. so I think dick definitely has foods that he fixates on and will prefer to eat over other foods. also he would have foods he just can't fucking eat because of taste or texture, like for example when I was younger I refused to eat fried eggs but I would eat boiled eggs, even better example jellies and puddings are things I can eat bc it activates my gag reflex and I hate the way they feel, physically can't swallow them without feeling sick. so ya know ya boy is gonna project that onto the dickster lol. I think he would probably hyperfixate on foods that fall into a similar category of each other I know I do lol. my food hyperfication has been crushed up instant ramen. and has been for a while but specially a certain kind. think dick would hyperfixate on certain brands of cereal because ive seen the “dick likes sugar cereal” thing floating around, and because this the projection corner I think he prefers to eat it a certain way, probably dry because of easy transporting and he can bring as a quick snack for when hes on the go, but I think he also would like the crunchy texture and mouth feel. again projection corner I think he would fucking hate gelatinous foods with a passion. but also like gritty foods would probably be a no go. like he can eat them if he needs too because bat training and all that doesn't mean he would enjoy it lol. and like I feel like when hes knighting hes just in a consent state of near discomfort bc hes masking so hard(lol)  so when hes dick Greyson he sorta lets lose a bit and his symptoms are worse or hes allowed to be particular about things like food when hes a civilian.  and I think he probably likes the texture of the nightwing suit otherwise he would peel his skin off. projecting is fun so I think he would hate rough and scratchy clothes and bed sheets are the bane of his existence so he kicks them off before going to bed other wise he can't sleep. he probably fidgets with his gadgets quite a bit especially when on patrol and hes looking around and nothing much is happening. I think dick would do the leg bounce tm as a civilian a lot maybe play with his hair if its long, or just generally messing with with when hes nervous or fidgeting. idk I guess im making nightwing his “nooo guys dw im super normal im just like everyone I am a functional put together adult haha” which its funny bc masking. I think this dude would have so many built in work arounds like (projecting) audio processing problems, so he probably has people either reapet or smth to like record and play back that or hes just really smooth about (smile and nod and hope to god that was the correct answer) anyway sorry back on topic, i  have dick having a stuffed animal named zitka (?) that an elephant and like hell yeah, but also I think his thing is very much a “ive had a bad time today and I just need to destress for a bit and hold something soft/familiar in a dark room for a bit” as you can tell I am projecting onto dick Greyson a lot lol. anyway I think he would also struggle to like, eat consistently, like eating too much or eating too little bc he gets distracted with a case then over compensates or he gets bored and then eats to get some form of stimulation(I do this lol) I just think dick would chew on things but be embarrassed about it(projection) but yeah I just think this asshole would have a system tm that no one else gets bc his room just looks dirty as hell but hes like Nono guys I set my bag and wallet in the same spot in the corner of the room because if I dont I will spend 30 minutes looking for it and it will be in the freezer. that and I think he would either do really well with cold foods or really badly. I think dick is the kinda guy that would leave his sodas out overnight so they stop being fizzy bc he hates the feeling of the fizz(projecting) but yeah overall I think he prefer sweeter foods as like his comfort/perfered foods. I also like the hc that he can cook he just doesn't have a lot of time too, so he snacks a lot bc he needs the energy. adding my own shit onto it, executive dysfunction got his ass like “I could get up and make a sandwich I know what I need to do I have the ingredients and im hungry but I can't fucking get up to do it” anyway funtimes in hyperfixation with grem thanks for reading the insane rambles <3

[sleeplessinpnw]

It's been awhile since I last posted. Thought I would make a life update post.

The summer is finally creeping up on us. It's May now and the warm weather is in full play. I'm so happy!! In a different place these days. Well... kind of. Until I'm put into a stressful situation. But for the most part, my depression has been a little less intense and I'm just feeling.... good. In a good mood today.

Going to St. Croix for my birthday in June and for aunt Barbaras memorial. I didn't know her very well, but I feel happy to be able to be with family during the occasion. About to meet a lot of cousins! I hope I will be able to remember names. Been trying to budget shopping for clothes to go. It hit me last night that I have tons of tees and some tank tops. I guess I mostly need comfortable bottoms and shorts to wear. GAINED WEIGHT!! Nothing old fits anymore. Going to hold onto some things though just in case my weight comes off. With my lifestyle habits, I have no idea when that will be happening. Just ordered a jump rope in hopes to at least get some cardio in since I hate running. Going to the store later today in hopes of getting healthier food. I do nooootttt know how to eat healthy apparently. I eat a lot of quesadillas and carbs so.... Going to try and cut back and eat salads. I don't even think my salads are healthy lol but better than canned food and mac n cheese.

I started vaping and 80 bucks later, I think it's time to quit. Obviously that's the smartest idea. Idk.... I'm trying not to smoke weed anymore and it gets hard when I'm use to smoking everyday. So whyyyyy a vape?? Nicotine is worse but it doesnt trigger the voices I hear. Weed does. I need to learn how to be sober and happy. I just.... get bored?? I'm awful!! Lol

Work is on hold for right now. I've been on break for now 2 and a half weeks. Still have money in my account but obviously that isn't going to last forever. Just trying to keep myself in a steady mood while I'm back to doing nothing. At least the sun is out. I can sit in the backyard and take in my surroundings. Trying not to drink at the moment as much because of my weight. But I dont need to always drink in the sun, it just makes it fun. Go figure. Anyway, I need to start applying for jobs again. I've been holding off because 1) I'm suppose to hear back from Sol for when they need more help again 2) St Croix is in two weeks and I feel like it would be hard to start a new position and then leave for a week 3) I'm still going to try and get a job with Premier Press and Q told me to wait and apply the end of June, beginning of July.

Therapy has been going well. I enjoy my sessions for the most part with my therapist. She's very sweet and I think I have made large progress since first starting. August is going to be a very large moment for me because it will mark the 1 year anniversary since being hospitalized. I told my mom that it's important to me. I want to celebrate some how. August will never be the same for me. I still have things that I need to clean out of my room from my voodoo craze. I should do that today.... it would feel good. It's hard looking at the mess in the corner of my room but once it's gone I think that I wil feel better. I really did some damage on my belongings and Ashley's. I will never fully recover from my actions. Scars. But I am working on moving forward everyday. I went to Mackenzies bridal shower yesterday and being in that community was SO HARD. I made it though. It's just weird being around parts of her world because the voices weirdly attached to it and it's humiliating to be around her. She was beyond sweet to me though and it felt good celebrating her for the evening.

Well.... thats kind of all the update I have. I'm going to try and check in with myself here more regularly. Cheers to bettering my mental well being, being strong and powering through all of this and getting better. I got this! Life keeps going on and is too short to keep beating myself up. Lot's of self love (minus the vaping BS).

[wrestlezon]

dynamite 3/22/23 (live)blog containment zone

we started late again...

omg… hospital for the bucks… theyre doing it. theyre progressing the elite story hangman… in the ambulance… omega gets left behind… OOOOO theyre DOIN IT….

[orange + sting & darby vs kip + butcher and the blade]

sheesh lol orange's facepaint :)c kip periwinkle'd his hair kip is cool because i look at him and know exactly what his deal is. he is a my chemical romance tumblrman when i can look at a wrestler and understand what their deal is? thats good mcr tumblrman is not even my thing but i appreciate him having style. and panache i also like his goofy sinister mindgames at orange. i also like that they WORK on orange. he got under his skin! he made orange of all people snap! such a good rivalry kip: yes! the crowd: BOOOOOOO the crowd: yaaaaaay kip: yeah thats more like it!!! sting: 🧍‍♂️ kip: 😰 that was a cute ending! i liked that lmao orange is knighting sting

[video for the pillars 4way]

ooooo theyre finally pulling the trigger on the pillars 4way…

[video for kenny vs vikingo]

whoops i missed this because i was getting a snack. despite whatever the hell is going on on twitter i dont need a video package to enjoy a good match tho

[gunn club vs top flight]

the gunns outfit today? insane unbelievably im having a hard time concentrating on this match because im lost in the bliss of chips + yogurt

oh no… ftr leaves aew if they lose… well. i wont get mad

[backstage with jade & mark sterling]

so fucking funny that mark sterling's letterhead logo is 1) GIANT and 2) FULL BLACK. the printer ink!!!!

[stokely vs hook]

soooo excited for this lmfao stokely pulling the not medically cleared card. AND retiring again just to seal the deal "HE IS SICK!!!" love how the security guard action jumped into the chair stokely screaming quoting 2pac? god. killing him with that chair just holding up stokely!! hook is so strong dead. killed him

oh my god matt hardy encouraging ethan page to avenge stokely This Is How Matt Hardy Can Get Revenge

[adam cole!]

yay adam cole what a face. hes not going to do a heelturn, right? at least not anytime soon i wonder who he is fighting LMAO DANIEL GARCIA… oh my god. his entire capital L Look ok cole is def not gonna do a heelturn if hes up against garcia

[backstage with kenny and don callis]

ooooo theyre doing ittttttt… theres strife… oooo

[moxley vs stu]

uno's mask is soooo shiny get him stu!!!!!!! cool pose on the ropes, moxley lmfao claudio yawning?? whoa what a loose slam by moxley. big flip off the corner by stu!! very cool oooh moxley's counter into bulldog was also cool backpack moxley huh, whats going on with moxley's ear? oh its bandage

lmao yuta "we're off the clock! 🙄"

[backstage with ricky starks]

mad about beefin with juice? yea oh theyre finally gonna fight? on rampage!

[QTV?]

little baby drawing on the cubicle lmao this footage is rj city in the background of this bit too? i thought it was funny he was in the first one like they just took over his office and started being really cringe in there and hes just like 🙄 well ok then

[toni storm vs skye blue]

booo outcasts. yay skye blue whoa that was a swift and snappy suplex thing by toni. that crowd person is loud, whoever they are

nooo dont spraypaint her ! the women's facesquad has appeared riho!! wlilow!!

rampage being on saturday… when i was in 3rd grade i got into an argument with the neighbor boy about wwe not being on whatever day it was supposed to be on and bet him 5 dollars about it. i won and didnt get 5 dollars because thats an astronomical amount in like 90s dollars

[backstage with stu]

oh no stu's arm moxley LMAO i love how the BCC are just backstage rascals now like if you wander around backstage you better watch out because you might get into a lv50 random encounter with the BCC

[kenny vs vikingo]

SON OF KING VIKING lmfao kenny's intro having so much shade in it. that's don callis' doing, right omg that dude's superkick party sign is so extreme kenny oooooooooomegaaaaaaaaaa!!! his theme is sooooooo good. god we havent heard it in so long right? because theyve been coming out to journey this whole time? is this kenny's first solo match back omg! vikingo tope whoa??? implosion hurricarana?? dude has been doing nothing but the sickest of flips no! kenny, no! drop it…. drop it!!! no table! cmon theres no need for this!! lmao he is being so badguy. hair pulling!! this rules. we get to see all the top-tier precision moves because these are insane toptier wrestlers these guys are doing SO MANY apron/off the ring moves right now omg balance: unparalleled ??????????? phoenix splash "you can see it in his eyes! ill intent" now hes just killing a ragdoll "swan-diving reverse hurricanrana!!" my friend is yelling about how we've never seen any of these moves in our lives and yet they have names according to excalibur holy shit a 630 what?? vikingo did like a million rotations lmfao vikingo rolling up and all the way around kenny omega to get him into a pin??? omg you straight up cannot blink in this match kenny won!

OH MY GOSH ITS THE BCC sirens?? HANGMAN STOLE AN AMBULANCE???? what is that. what is his weapon oh its a plank with nails in it. why is it spraypainted black !!!! CALLIS he is such a LIAR!!!!!!!! SNAKE!!!!!!!!! OUGHH!!!! im making an angry wojak face right now

[venusguks]

— saccharine boy

pairing : reader x jeon jungkook

summary : the new transfer student is a bit strange…

genre : yandere jk, future smut, angst, dark, obsessive/possessive jk

warnings : this includes DARK themes with heavy topics. i dont support this unhealthy relationship dynamic irl. a huge TW for suicide, suicidal thoughts, tendencies, coaxing, themes. this is pure fiction so please know that if you’re struggling with suicidal thoughts, this may be really really horrible to read :(( yn and jk both say shitty things

part 1 of ??

☽

i loved you before i even knew you

in days fleeting moments, the sun dipped into the ocean, casting a surge of honey waves to engulf the city whole.

it’s vast, golden essence poured through the mid-open windows and into the empty school hallways.

moments before, the laughter of the baseball team dissipated, and those who confessed to the whim of spring filtered emotions had left with tear stained cheeks.

it's empty enough that you can hear your own slip ons click against the floor.

click, click, click.

you walk up the stairs, stopping right in front of the rooftop door.

the rusted knob is cool under your skin, and bracing yourself for the wind, you twist it open.

the wind whisks past you ferociously, as if urging you to turn back. you should've heeded the warning then (how foolish of you not to), but instead, you open your eyes to the tangerine streaks of the sky.

that’s when you see him.

— ❝ hey, do you regret it? ❞

his silhouette wavered beyond the metal railings of the rooftop.

you don’t know why—what had possibly gone through your mind when you spoke. it wasn't your business—you could honestly care less for people like him,

because people like him were the same as you.

despite that, you couldn't stop yourself from screaming, "you're such an attention freak, you know that?! do you really want to be seen that much?"

his head slightly lifted.

would he listen to you? would he care?

because if it were you past that railing right now, you wouldn't stop for anyone.

but doesn’t he see?

if he jumps, right now, right in front of you,

doesn’t he know how much that would break you?

please, the wind swallows your desperation. i’m already broken enough, so please don't make it any worse.

when i muster up the courage like you someday, i need to die without the thought of you jumping in my head.

— ❝ oh, i see… you're scared of me.❞

"there are so many other ways to kill yourself. drowning, the rope—you can jump off literally any other god damned building for all i care—but don't you dare make it this building! don't you dare jump off in front of me."

you saw it, as the wind danced past him, just how lifeless his eyes were

it was as if the sun himself feared him—preferring to quickly drown into the blue abyss rather than be in his mere presence.

"i know this place is terrible—but the janitor is so kind. he's a single father of three children and if you jump, he'd have to break his back scrubbing your blood for hours. he'd come home and put on a happy face despite worrying if his children will turn out like you. so please, for the janitor's sake, deal with haunting this school a different way. your death would affect more people than you’d know, so please.”

he doesn’t move, so hesitantly, as if it would change anything, you quietly add, "ah, he gave me food one time too.”

the boy’s back quivered, and your own trembling heart ached for him—but what you thought was sniffing turned into a loud, hearty laugh

you stood there, dumbfounded as you watched him.

"you're..." he tries to say through his giggles. when he catches his breath, he finally turns to you with the biggest smile.

"you're really stupid."

— ❝ but would it help if i said i've always loved you? ❞

frozen, you can only stand there gaping at him.

"i was just watching the sunset, but your reaction was so funny. you don't know how hard it was not to laugh."

what…?

you blink once, twice—then turning your heel, you begin to walk away.

"h-hey! wait!" he called from beyond the railings. "i'm sorry, okay? i was having too much fun—i didn't mean to scare you. please forgive me."

"scare me?" you scoffed. "kill yourself for all i care. it doesn't have anything to do with me."

— ❝ since that day... ❞

you just blurted it out of spite. you knew it was cruel, you didn’t mean it. you were just so angry. how dare he make a fool out of you? make a joke out of this? in your eyes, he was far more cruel.

“fine then.”

you turn back with a vile glare, but your heart stops as he takes a step back.

the boy hums in viscous amusement when he sees the horror in your eyes. in front of the blazing red of the sun, wearing his wide smile, he resembled a demon.

"forgive me, or i'll let go."

"d-don’t be stupid," you scowl, but you could barely feel yourself breathe.

then, just like that, one of his finger tips leave the metal bar—then another, and another.

you don’t know when you started running or how you even got there, but as soon as you hooked your fingers around his collar, you gave everything to pull him back.

"are you crazy?!" you scream, hot tears trickling down your eyes.

his annoying fit of laughter only angered you more.

— ❝ i loved you before i even knew you. ❞

"like i said, forgive me—and i won't try it again," he chimed in a playful tone.

you couldn't tell if he was joking or not.

it scared you, his carelessness.

he scared you.

“okay, okay! i forgive you!” you yell exasperatedly. “god, you—you think this is funny? what the fuck is wrong with you?! you could’ve—just because i—y-you could’ve…r-right in front of me…and i-i…”

"hey, hey..." he chuckles softly, interlocking his fingers with yours through the metal fence.

you refused to look at him, but you could still feel the tingling warmth of his skin. you were close, the bars only stopping at your torso. when you look back at it, you remembered the seeping reality of his beauty.

his voice, his touch, him...

everything he did made you feel so out of control, so vulnerable.

who was he? why did you have to meet him?

"i knew you'd catch me, its fine."

"that's not the point here you suicidal bitch! i mean—what were you thinking? are you out of your mind? i swear to god—if you jumped and i became a suspect of murder, i'd dig up your own grave and kill you again!”

the boy’s eyes widened, shock dancing with his own bemusement. they were the same lifeless brown, but golden specks glimmered in where he looked at you.

finally, he smiles, “you’re horrible.”

you give a viscious glare, but before you can retort something, he continues, his hand trailing up your arm.

"but at the same time, horrible people don’t try to save a horrible person from dying. no, you can’t be horrible,” a cold shiver runs through your body when his fingers brush against your collarbone. “you’re just a sweet girl, aren’t you? an angel who saved me…”

he pulls you closer by your neck, his lips barely touching the shell of your ears. your breath hitches, and your knees suddenly feel weak.

“i’d love to ruin you.”

nothing comes out of your mouth.

all you can hear is your heart thumping against your chest. all you can feel is the unbearable heat blooming on your cheeks, and all you can see is him.

finally, his words settle in.

“get the fuck off me you creep!”

— ❝ you're never leaving me, my love. i won't let you. ❞

ː

a/n : i’m so so so sorry if this triggered some people. this may be poorly written as well as i’ve written this YEARS ago. as you might tell, i was suicidal then and i often incorporated that in writing—its a way to get it off my chest sort of. to have relatable characters is something thats always made me comfortable. honestly rereading it again nothing makes sense LOL but i thought i’d continue it just for fun. i hope whoever has come across this is having a lovely and healing day, stay safe starlights <3

[1loer]

Hello! Just wondering what dr ships are rotting your brain or thinking about for the past few weeks. What are your Mikan ships as well? Btw I love your art you're so awesome :))

omg u have no idea how happy this ask made me lol!!! hahaha!!! thank u for enabling me c:<

DR ships that i have like. quite consistent brain rot for been attacking me the last few weeks. I just find Ougoku so fucking cute and precious i love it so much and Naegiri has reared its head and im in a constant state of komahina+nami feels bc im writing a fic for them rn!!

Soulfriends!!Soulfriends too oh my God soulfriends like Destroys me it hit me so hard when I played SDR2 for the first time. I really loved Kaz (despite everything :')) so i did all his fte's and just. Oh my god they're so special to each other!!!!!!! I also hc Hajime as being Kaz's bi awakening lol (tho im p.sure thats a popular headcannon) bc it just makes too much sense. But also like. I just think they'd make such good and like special friends. IDK its weird i ship them but its more like the most intense BroTP i've ever had but i defo think Kaz goes through having a crush on Hajime for the longest time OHAEROGO I like to think Hajime would be very physically affectionate to him too? Mostly bc he thinks its funny the way Souda gets so riled up by it but I think he'd love giving him like forehead kisses and ruffling his hair in like. A platonic/flirty way???? The song for them that really gets me (bc im very musically inclined and also ask me about my character playlists OTJRIGJOIEA) is that Stev en Unive rse one no matter what . like i litro get so emotional listening to it imagining them!!!!! the "through whoever you've been, through whoever you'll be, through whatever you lose, you will always have me, at the end of your rope, i'll be holding you tight, im gonna be right by your side no matter what" bit. *slams my head into a pillow and screams* just!!!! They could both do w/ each other you know??? Someone who loves them and trusts them and believes in them and someone to just have fun and be themselves w/ and joke w/ and oh my god oh ym god its literally so important !!!!!!!

Funny you should mention Mikan ships tho bc actually! A mikan ship has been fuckin me up recently haha! I've suddenly become like. SO soft for hajime/mikan. I wasn't too into it when i played her route in SDR2 and it ended w/ marriage, but like. looking back on it. theres very few characters Hajime is like. actually soft and gentle w/. Chiaki is one and Mikan is another and just. oh ym god that makes me m e lt . like he cares for her so much? and he's so worried for her? and he just wanted to hold her and protect her!!!! and yes! she deserves it!!!!!!!!she deserves someone who'll love her properly!!!! truly!!! She's been through so much and Hajime being that safe space for her just. dont touch me. dont look at me. I genuine think he'd be SO protective of her. and patient. and she wont know what to do bc she's never had that before and it'd be so scary for her but he'd help her through it all ARGH!!!! Not to reference another SU song but. god. dont listen to Found while imagingn Hajime singing it to her. dont do it. oh ym god. AND ALSO their like. Omg the way they can both relate (depending on how much of Izuru you believe hajime can rememebr) and understand each other's relationship w/ Junko in a way that like. really. the other despairs couldn't. bc only they had such a close relationship w/ her. I mean maybe Nagito could but. LOLLLL DO NOT PUT THEM IN A ROOM TOGETHER TO TALK ABOUT JUNKO OIAHJGIAI that'd be insane. no actually do it i want to see it i want to see Mikan go crazy and flat pack his ass like ikea furniture.

I'm also of the intense opinion that Mikan and Nagito do Not and Will not ever get on. Only because they're just. simultaneously too similar and too different. Like they're SO similar but they go about it in such different ways that i just think they'll never be able to fully understand each other so just cannot get along DESPITE having so much in common. like even before junko but ESPECIALLY after Junko. Also because its fucking hilarious to imagine. like its so funny. I think they should be allowed to hate each other actually. it'll probably be good for them.

I also. ofc. love the classics. I love Bandaid. its probably my main mikan ship tbh even tho i've become so fond of hajime/mikan. I just think. Ibuki would be like so good to balance her out. Bc ofc mikan is SO reserved and self-concious and Ibuki couldnt be either of those things if she tried. opposites attract. Also Ibuki is like. So emotionally intelligent? Idk if people really give her credit for that but like. God I loved her then i did her fte and that last bit where she reveals that like she just wanted Hajime to relax and shit oh my god i was blown out the water. Like OFC!!! OFC she's highly in tune w/ others emotions!! she wouldnt be able to form a band w/o that!! So i think that even though it may be a very intense version of opposites attract and Ibuki is very/...intense. oijaejoi . I think she'd be able to see where Mikan's true limits are and not force her past them, but be able to push her just far enough that she'd realise that like. it's okay to be yourself! its okay to say what you want! In that sense I think Mikan could probably grow as a character way more w/ Ibuki than w/ Hajime bc i think Hajime would treat her just too softly and not have the guts to push her in the ways she probably needs. Also i hc mikan as a hardcore lesbian so. Ya know OIGjoi

Wow ok i didnt think i'd have that much to say but u lit a fire under my ass anon! This is the most i've drawn in months LOL! There is a severe lack of Mikan on this blog considering how much i adore her so heres her w/ a few of my fave ships of hers. I love u so much i kiss ur forehead and tuck you into a rlly comfy bed and give u hot chocolate then read u a bedtime story. Also this is the treat at the end for anyone who actually read through all that bullshit OUHSEIOAJIOIJAIOJ