#dont look at my mismatch socks

[professeurm]

My guy friend decide to take me somewhere to try on men clothes. We're planning a different day with the other guys to try something else.

Now most of the clothes I wear are passed down from my younger and older brother (minus the undergarments, we ain't going that far) so I wear a lot of their clothes. Mainly cuz it's baggy and it's comfortable then the clothes I got from the women section.

These are inspire by his dad fit because he pretty much the dad in the group lol. He picked out all of them minus the white sweatshirt cuz im a sucker for them

[bacchuschucklefuck]

literally figured sorcerer!kristen's freshman year design out the moment I sat down and attempted to brainstorm (rubs hands together fly style) we eatin good today boys

[vampirebiter]

birthday dinner fit + me and my bestie solid snake

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii i love love how u write spencer omds🥸

uhh i was wondering if you could write sth based off the song “we’ll never have sex” by leith ross? pls dont feel pressured to write this btw😭😭😭 hope ur having a good day lovely💗💗

hello my love i have no self control so this is extremely long and plotty but i love this song and i hope that this is any good at all crying emoji (i'm on a laptop LOL) enjoy!!

warnings/tags: angst/fluff, fem!reader, negative self-talk from reader, mentions of past sexual coercion/feeling used, mentions of past excessive drinking to combat social anxiety, ive been watching a lot of new girl lately and i think it shows, SO FRIENDS TO LOVERS, happy ending

You weren’t expecting to end up on Spencer Reid’s worn-leather couch at two in the morning, clutching a chipped mug of coffee in your hands as you listen to the sounds of the city from the street below. But there you are, sitting with your legs folded under you, in your favorite dress and first date-night makeup (now bleeding and smudged from all the crying.) And realizing that despite considering him one of your closest friends, you haven’t been to his apartment in a long time. There are, of course, good reasons for that—but you try to push those from your mind. 

“I’m really sorry about this,” you sigh, staring at your warped reflection in the glassy black surface of your coffee. Spencer is coming out of the small kitchen, now bearing his own cup. 

“Please, stop apologizing.” 

You glance up, tentatively studying him from behind the safety of your mug. While he may not have been asleep when you knocked on his door ten minutes ago, lachrymose and barely verbal, he must have been getting ready for bed. He’s clad in patterned pajama pants, mismatched socks, and an FBI crewneck that is just big enough to reveal the collar of the tee-shirt underneath. He’s already taken out his contacts, and you were startled by the reminder that he also has glasses. 

“So...” he begins, bringing you back to the present moment, “we don't have to talk about anything, if you don’t want to, but...” 

You sigh, watching coffee bubbles swirl like stars in a galaxy. 

“It’s fine. Honestly, I’m kind of embarrassed. I didn’t really think, I just... ended up here.” 

“Yeah... where did you come from?” he laughs quietly. “Not that I’m complaining. But I recall you not living super close by.” 

“No, no. I was actually on a date. Kind of.” 

“Ah.” There’s a beat of silence, and ostensibly Spencer is waiting for you to say more, but instead you take a sip from your mug. “At two in the morning?” You nod dully, staring at the labyrinthine pattern of the Persian rug.  

“I’m taking it that it wasn’t a very good date...?” 

A whoosh of air escapes from your puffed cheeks. 

“No it was not. Not by the end, anyway. It actually started really well, which made it even more disappointing when he...” you laugh, but there’s not much humor in it. “Well, when he kicked me out of his car on a street corner because I didn’t want to sleep with him.” 

You don’t look to see Spencer’s reaction—only take another long, baleful sip of coffee and ignore the heavy silence.  

“I’m really sorry. You... you deserve so much better than that.” 

An attempt at a jaded scoff from you falls flat. 

“Yeah, well. Tell that to the last three white house interns I’ve gone on dates with. It’s the same thing every time.” 

“Have you considered going on fewer dates with white house interns...?” The nervous humor is a thin veil over genuine critique. You shrug, biting the inside of your cheek. 

“It’s not just them. Every single guy I’ve liked since I was 15 has been like this. Even my past relationships, I felt like I was almost... tricked into, you know? I mean, these guys, they act all understanding and willing to take it slow or whatever, until you’re in a relationship, and suddenly they’re guilt tripping you so hard and making you feel so obligated to...” you catch yourself just in time, glancing up at Spencer. You’re not sure what to make of his expression. The drawn brow and slightly squinted eyes trained so intently on you could be sympathy, or anger, or pity, or apathy—you look away, not sure you even want to know what he’s thinking. “Sorry. You don’t need to hear all about that. Basically romance is exhausting and since I’ll clearly be single forever I’m considering running away to join a nunnery.” 

When he doesn’t respond for too long, you look back up quizically. 

“I’m not sure you know what romance actually is,” he says as soon as your gaze meets his, like the eye-contact activated some kind of hair-trigger in his vocal box. 

You blink, lowering the coffee cup to your lap. 

Says Spencer Reid? 

“...sorry?” 

He flushes, stammering to clarify himself. 

“I just meant—I—I know I’m not exactly fighting women off with a stick—” he interrupts himself with a self-conscious (adorable) laugh— “but... but I have been in love, at least once.”  

“Maeve,” you say, gently—trying to shove down bitter guilt as you remember how jealous you’d been when Spencer had first told you about her. “I remember.” 

He swallows and nods. 

“We never even met—we just talked. All the time. I had no idea what she looked like. But it didn’t matter at all. Because I knew her, and I loved her. Maybe things would have gone further if I hadn’t been calling her from public phone booths, but that wasn’t the most important thing to either of us. We were still in love.” You try to shut out the sharp ache in your chest. Being jealous of the way he speaks about a dead woman is so wrong.  

“What I’m trying to say is that romance isn’t solely about sex, or even physical appearance. It sounds to me like you’ve been with a lot of men who don’t understand that. And it would be such a shame for you to write romance off in general before you even get to experience it. You are... an extraordinary woman. You’re funny, and intelligent, and kind, and so capable of being loved. One day, someone is going to see beyond your pulchritude and prove that to you. I hope you let them try.” 

More tears blur the pattern on the rug, pooling in the rims of your eyes before spilling down your cheeks in fast, fat drops. Shakily you set the cup down, resting your elbows on your knees and hiding your face in your hands. You sniff once. Twice. Shake your head quickly, attempting to wipe the tears away without further smearing your makeup everywhere. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Spencer breathes, leaning forward but obviously unsure how to comfort you. “Please don’t cry, I wasn’t--I was trying to do the opposite of this.” 

“No, I’m sorry! You didn’t have to—you didn’t—I’m sorry. That was way too nice.” 

But you're not crying because he was nice.  

Someone will love you, but not me. That’s all you can hear. 

His voice is a mere whisper when he next speaks. 

“I meant every word.” 

You take a shuddering breath, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve behind the peaceful black of your eyelids. You can’t be looking at his face when you say what you’re about to say. 

“I had a crush on you for the longest time, you know.” 

Ringing silence. But it doesn’t last as long as you’d imagined. It’s not as world ending. 

“Had?” 

The little smile in his voice is like a fist around your heart. 

“Yeah. You know what changed?” 

“What’s that?” 

Absolutely nothing. 

“Every time I got super drunk and started hitting on you, you’d just drive me home. And I did it a lot. Like, for months. But you were such a gentleman. It drove me fucking crazy. So eventually I figured you just didn’t like me and I gave up.” 

Another stretch of silence. A breeze comes in from the open window, fluttering the curtains and cooling the tears on your face. His response is sad when it finally comes. 

“You thought I didn’t like you because I didn’t try to take advantage of you when you were drunk?” 

“Pretty much.” You smile ruefully, fingertips still pressed over your eyes. “God, listen to me. No wonder I get treated like garbage.” 

“Stop. Don’t talk about yourself like that. Did you hear anything I just said?” 

You sniff, looking to the ceiling. 

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It was really sweet.” 

More silence. 

“But you don’t believe it.” 

A bitter laugh poisons the air around you. 

“I don’t know.  I’m kind of tired of waiting for someone to prove it to me. Just for once, I want someone to be interested in me beyond having sex in the back of their fucking... Range Rover, or whatever. Like, maybe all that stuff you said is true, but there’s no evidence to support it, and I know logically you’re probably right but I can’t help wondering if... if I’m the outlier. Maybe there just isn’t someone for me like that. Maybe I’m just gonna be the sex in the back of the Range Rover girl forever.” 

A noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob forces itself from your throat and you bury your face in your hands again, shaking your head. 

“Wow, I am so sorry,” you say a little too loudly, “I did not mean to be this honest tonight. Did you spike my coffee?” 

“You are not the outlier,” Spencer whispers.  

You sniff, lifting your head haltingly to look at him. 

“What?” 

His voice shakes slightly as he speaks. 

“You said you can’t help wondering if you’re the outlier, and maybe there just isn’t someone for you like that. That’s not true.” 

“Spencer, those are just words. You can’t possibly know that. Statistical probabilities don’t count.” 

“That’s... that’s not how I know.” 

Your heart drops as you study his face.  

No. 

Surely he’s not saying what you think he’s saying. 

Surely he wouldn’t do this to you after you’ve just told him everything you told him. You have been harboring feelings for him for years. Since you met. He can’t just spring this on you one night because you’re a little bummed out. If he felt the same, you would have found out a long time ago; he had ample opportunity to tell you. There was a period of months where you practically threw yourself all over him at every chance you got, and he did nothing. So this... this is just cruel—something you’ve never known Spencer Reid to be. 

You stand up, trembling slightly with rage and grief and humiliation. 

“Don’t do that. Don’t say things that you don’t mean just to make me feel better.” 

“What are you doing? Don’t--” 

You scoop up your purse, trying to get to the front door as fast as your gelatinous legs will allow. More tears are streaming down your face now and you don’t need him to see what he’s done to you—to see how much you care what he thinks. 

“It’s fine. Thanks for the coffee, I’ll see you around—” 

A hand around your wrist stops you in your tracks 

“Stop. Just... please give me a second to talk, okay?” 

With nothing left to give, you turn to him. 

“Don’t be mean, Spencer. Don’t act like you liked me too. That makes me feel... so much worse.” 

He takes a deep, shaky breath, as if steeling himself. Tawny eyes bore into your soul, and you realize that there is so much sheer nervous energy radiating off of him it’s infectious. Your heart begins to pound as he speaks. 

“I’m not doing that. I’m being an idiot, because you just told me that you don’t feel that way about me anymore but... but I do. And I have to tell you now because for six months I tortured myself wondering why you would flirt with me so much when you were hammered and then act like nothing happened the next day. There were so many times I almost told you how I felt but I didn’t and now I am because even if it ruins our friendship you need to know that somebody... that I wanted to be that person for you. I still do.” 

Your heart is like an unmoored zeppelin in your chest, bumping against your esophagus and threatening to either burst or jump out of your mouth. You take your chances, whispering so quietly it’s almost inaudible. 

“You... you like me?” 

“Yes,” Spencer sighs. “I have liked you for a very long time. And I’m sorry—” 

Whatever ridiculous thing he was going to apologize for, you don’t give him the chance. Instead you launch yourself at him, capturing his lips in a kiss that feels so much better than it’d ever been in your fantasies because it’s real. You hear his sharp intake of breath, but it only takes a second for him to respond, cradling your face in his hands like you’re the entire world. For a moment, time bends. Years of longing, of buried dreams crash into the present in a brilliant, dazzling explosion.

And then, as quickly as it started, he pulls away. The absence of his touch is like a vacuum, so much worse now that you know exactly how it feels to have his lips on yours, even if it was only for a few seconds. How the hell did you live like that for so long? How are you supposed to live like that ever again?

“You’re not thinking clearly,” he breathes, tilting his head back toward the ceiling like he’s barely holding onto his self control. “You just want someone to comfort you, I’m not going to take advantage of you when you’re in an emotionally vulnerable state and confided in me which is manufacturing a false sense of attachment—” 

You grab his wrists, which still graze your jaw.

“Spencer, stop intellectualizing for thirty seconds. I promise you I am thinking clearly.” 

“You said you used to like me, past tense—” 

“Yeah, I did. Do you believe every single murderer who says he didn’t do it?” 

“No, but—” 

“Have you ever heard the phrase; a drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts?” 

“Of course I have.” 

“Then what more could you possibly need to be convinced that I really like you? I already kissed you! What is stopping you?” 

Another deep breath is taken by him that seems to suck all the air out of the quiet room. Briefly, you wonder if you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake. If you really do like him so much more than he could ever like you.  

Until he looks back down, eyes so golden-brown in the dim light, so kind and full of affectionate concern as he carefully assesses every square centimeter of your face, looking for... well, you’re not exactly sure what. It’s like he’s extracting every thought from your head, turning them over like sun-warmed stones until he finds what he’s looking for. He smooths his hands over your hair, brushing strands away from your teary face. Finally, after what feels like an eternity of holding your breath, he speaks. 

“I just want you to believe what I believe about you. But I don’t want you to have to rely on me or anyone else for your own self-worth.” 

“Well, don’t you think very highly of yourself,” you tease with a sniffle. He laughs—it's quiet, but his smile is so bright without even trying that suddenly you can’t remember why you’ve ever been sad. The small miracle of his laughter makes you feel so light, and you realize it has nothing to do with the way he makes you feel about yourself. It has everything to do with who he is. 

Once the giggles die down, you tentatively mirror his hold on your face. 

“Spencer, I don’t like you because you like me. I’ve liked you for an embarrassingly long time. I liked you enough that I gave myself a severe hangover at least once a week for three months just so I could have an excuse to flirt shamelessly with you.” 

A half-sad smile pulls at the corner of his mouth, and he gently swipes under your eyes. 

“You never had to do that. I would have welcomed your sober brazen flirting with open arms.” 

“Well... do you believe me?” you plead. His amber eyes shine. 

“I do.” 

“Will you kiss me?” 

“If that’s what you want.” 

You nod, rising on your toes to meet him halfway. 

When your lips meet again, it is sweet, and honest, and slow, and deep. Still, there is no desperation--no race to an imagined finish line, no clash of teeth and pawing hands. It is a kiss for the sake of it—as if it were the greatest intimacy. Not a precursor to sharing a bed, but something bigger than that in and of its own. Something just as worthy and important. For the first time, you think you’re beginning to understand romance. And while you wouldn’t mind if things did escalate, you also know that Spencer knows that’s not what matters right now. Because he actually understands you—he actually cares. He will wait until you understand that you mean so much more than that to him.

To that end, he pulls away, gently supplanting his absence with a kiss to the corner of your mouth. 

“It would be polite of me to offer you a ride home, wouldn’t it?” he whispers, like it’s the last thing he wants to do. You bite the inside of your cheek, coming up with reasons not to go. One ridiculous one arises from the depths of your memory that you know he won’t be able to say no to. 

“Or... I could stay here, and we could watch one of those nerdy foreign films you’re always talking about?” 

A slow, perfect, high-watt smile blossoms on his face, and you know you’ve said exactly the right thing. 

“Nerdy? Oh, my darling girl... Soviet-era filmography is far from nerdy. небесная машина will completely defy what you thought you knew about the life of an average Russian villager in the 1950’s.” 

“Oh, good. Because I’ve really been meaning to change the way I think about the average 1950’s Russian villager,” you smile, already closing in to kiss him again. 

------------------------------------------ 

epilogue

Three hours later, you’re crying because the life of the average Russian villager in the 1950’s was so much worse than you’d previously thought. 

“It was good, right?” Spencer asks as the credits roll over a bleak snowy sepia landscape, leaning back to get a better look at you. You sit up from where you’d been leaning against him, furiously wiping your eyes. 

“It was terrible! Why didn’t you tell me that everyone except the kid dies in the end?!” 

“Because that’s the whole point of the movie!” he laughs, pulling you back into him. “I’m sorry. I probably should have explained how depressing this entire era of film was outside of the US.” 

“And also how long the movies were. I was not prepared for how many five minute long clips of empty fields there were going to be.” 

“You’re right,” he ammends, wrapping his arms around you in a way that gives you butterflies and makes you sleepy at the same time. “Next time we can watch whatever you want to watch.” 

Time passes like that—you in his arms, watching weak light slowly flood the room with half-lidded eyes and listening to the sounds of the city waking up from the street below, underscoring the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Thoughts float by like leaves on the ever-flowing current of your mind, and you’re happy to let them pass until one in particular catches your attention. 

“Spencer?” 

He hums, like he’d been deep in his own proverbial river of thought. 

“What does pulchritude mean?” 

It takes him a split second to remember the bit of conversation from earlier to which you are referring, but when he does, he chuckles, running his hand over your messy hair. 

“Don’t worry about it.” 

And so you let it float away. 

[taurasiscntybun]

Breaking in the rookie pt 2

- 18 plus minors DNI

- DT x fem reader (no y/n)

- warnings: Adult language, graphic descriptions of sex, Dom/sub, age gap, degradation/praise, mommy kink, spit, light impact play, oral (giving)

-3,300 words

-Thanks to my editor and fellow h*rny sister @taurasicomplex

The drive to your team apartment was full of nervous energy, her black suv following your own car closely as if she didn’t know how to get there, a lie of course, she was well aware of how to get to the team housing but it seemed like some sort of intimidation tactic.

“Fuck, what the fuck was I thinking, Jesus my house isn’t even clean.” You say to yourself as you pull up to the apartments. The reality of her being in your home hitting you.

Diana follows you into the breezeway and up the stairs, her tall frame a looming presence at your back; it was both nerve wracking and intoxicating. You open the door to your one room apartment and usher her inside, glancing around at the unpacked boxes you flush a little in embarrassment.

“I, uh, haven’t finished unpacking.”

“Yeah I can see that, it looks like a fucking tornado in here.” She glances around the living room then back to you.

“Well I wasn’t expecting company.”

”You invited me?”

“That was an accident”

”You accidentally invited me to your house?”

”It was an impulsive invite, don't judge my house and take your shoes off please” You shut the doors behind you and kick off your shoes, leaving you in your mismatched colorful socks. She follows your lead and pulls off her sneakers, her socks a nice matching black. You motion for her to sit on the couch, quickly tossing the nest of blankets and fluffy pillows to the end. She watches you closely as you walk to the kitchen, her eyes tracking you like a predator watching their prey. You open the fridge and pull out the cheap bottle of peach fizzy wine and grab two mugs from the cabinet.

“You don't even have wine glasses? Shit it really was an accident inviting me over.” She watches you walk back into the living room and you can see she’s already made herself at home; reclined on your couch with her legs spread in front of her, she’s so easily taken over your space, her presence making the room feel smaller than it is.

“Uh I usually just drink everything out of mugs to be honest, I like the handles.” You pass her a mushroom shaped mug which she takes although she looks dubious.

“You can’t even have normal mugs? What are you five? Why the fuck is everything covered in flowers and shit.”

“It’s a mushroom not a flower, flora and fungi are two separate things.”

“You know they call me a fun-guy”

“That wasn’t even a good joke Dee.”

“They can’t all be winners, though statistically I am. Sit down and open the wine, you're acting like a skittish little animal, I don't bite unless you want me too.”

“I- Jesus, Dee you just say anything dont you.” You sit down on the opposite side of the couch, next to your comforting wad of pillows and blankets, all of them a different pattern making the pile a chaotic mess of color.

”I mean most of it, just kinda comes out, its always what I’m thinking.” She shrugs and reclines more, resting one of her hands behind her head, the other holding the mug out to you for her drink. The mushroom mug looks tiny and out of place in her obscenely large hand. You try not to think too hard about the implication she might be thinking about biting you and instead focus myself on unscrewing the cap.

”I know the wines gonna be shit if it's a screw top, that shits peach does that even count? Gonna taste like Im drinking fucking juice.” She complains as you fill her mug with the light pink wine, it fizzes a little threatening to spill and she quickly slurps some of it. You stare half dazed at the way her lips wrap around the rim, her tongue licking up the slight spill down the side.

“You ok there rook?” She flits her eyes up at you, the warm brown pools of dark honey searching your face.

”Yeah sorry, just embarrassed at my shit pour.”

“God this shit tastes like a bad hangover, at least we have afternoon practice tomorrow.” She complains but takes another sip. You fill up your own mug and suddenly half the bottle is gone.

“Drink some water, you'll survive.” You settle a little more in your seat, tucking your feet under you and reaching for the remote. Your two positions so different, her open and almost demanding space and you tucked up in the corner of the couch. You open your WNBA app and click to the game from tonight. You immediately mute the audio, not wanting to hear the announcers constantly gassing up Diana and probably criticizing you. Cindy and Anne were kind and a lot more forgiving to you as announcers but still you knew they’d have shit to say about your tech and you didn’t need it.

Halfway through the game and the whole way through the bottle of wine you pause it.

”Why are you being so nice? You haven’t criticized my plays at all, not even my missed layup.”

“Sorry I was trying to be supportive.” She snorts and finishes off her second mug of wine. She pauses her drinking and looks at you, her gaze intense as she studies you.

”Do you.. do you want me to be mean? It fucking seems like you do, what do you like it when I get all mad?” She teases and leans a little closer to you; you're still plenty far apart but she’s suddenly dominating the shared space. You laugh nervously and try to play cool even though you're obviously flustered.

”No I- don't be ridiculous who would want such a thing it's just unexpected.” You babble out and seem to shrink back against the side of the couch a little more. She sits her mug on the floor and leans in even closer, her body angling towards you now.

“I don't think that's true, rook. I think you invited me over specifically to berate you a little bit. Is that what you want? You want me to punish you for getting a tech? Tell you what a shit job you did today?” Her voice drops lower as her eyes search your face; despite her bravado and bold words you can tell she’s a little nervous she might have crossed a dangerous line. You swallow your nerves and decide to be bold as well, assuring her that she is reading you right.

”Maybe I do.” You say softly your voice nearly a whisper.

”Hmm what was that? Speak up rook.” Diana teases, her voice taking on more of the commanding tone she used on the court, proving she definitely heard you but wanted to hear you say it again.

”I said maybe I do. Maybe I like it when you get onto me. Maybe I like you a little mad.” You jut your chin out defiantly and she grins.

”I see, you brought me here for your own fantasy right? Are you gonna get off to me yelling? Wait till I leave and reach your hand down your cute little pink panties?” She moves even closer, reaching out to grab your leg, tugging you closer with a smug grin.

”I- fuck Dee you can’t say shit like that unless you mean it.” You say then gasp as she forces you to close the distance, her large hand feeling like a brand on your skin even through your sweatpants.

“What you think I don't mean it? Hate to break it to you baby but I’ve been thinking about the little bow on your panties all night.” Diana's voice drops to a husky whisper as her hand creeps further up your leg. You look at her, mouth agape at the implication.

“You can drive me crazy out there in your little rolled up fucking shorts. I can almost see your ass half the time. Was that your plan? Make yourself look like fucking candy to me so Ill come over?” Her hand brushes the inside of your knee and you look from her hand to her face and see no hint of teasing. She means it.

”Maybe I want you to think about my ass. Having dirty thoughts about your rookie.” You shoot back and she gives a huff.

”I can’t help it when you serve yourself up to me like a fucking dessert. Tell me what you want rook. You have to tell me you want this or ill stop right now and we never have to talk about it again.” She pulls her hand away slightly and you realize she wants your permission to continue, she wants to make sure you really want this too.

”Fuck. Yes Diana, I want you.” You say with more conviction than you meant. Her answering grin is practically feral as her hand touches you again, this time on your inner thigh and tighter.

”Let me guess you want me to order you around? You want me to be like I am on the court? Tell you you're acting like a little slut inviting me over like this.” Her words are phrased as a question but you suck in a breath nonetheless.

“Y..yes I do,” You hesitate for a moment, “I want you to tell me what to do, order me around Diana. I..I'm your little slut tonight.” Your voice is a little shaky as she continues her slow ascent up your thigh.

“Aww what was that baby, I'll need you to say it again, like you mean it.” You didn’t realize she had gotten so close, her large frame practically draped over you, caging you in.

“I..” You clear your throat. “I'm your little slut and I want you to tell me what to do.”

“Good girl, see, was that so hard? Now get on your fucking knees.” Her voice dropped an octave as she clearly commanded you. You move without a second thought, sliding off the couch and sitting back on your heels, the empty wine bottle clatters over; the sound loud in the suddenly tense space.

“Closer baby I can’t quite reach you all the way over there.” She reclines back on the couch and spreads her legs again, signaling you to rest between them. You move between her legs and lift to your hands to the waist of her shorts but she grabs your wrists quickly.

“So eager already. Turn and watch the tv baby, the games only half over.” She pushes your hands off her and roughly turns you so you're facing away from her and to the tv. Diana turns the tv back on and reclines again, absently stroking your hair, her strong thighs half trapping you between them. You lean into her touch without meaning too and her hand suddenly grips your hair, pulling your head back so your eyes are locked on the tv.

“You missed my perfect assist right then, you fucked up my game. What do you have to say for yourself baby?” Her fingers dig into your scalp as she leans down to you, her breath ghosting over the shell of your ear.

“I..I’m sorry.” You stutter and she releases your hair and leans back up, her hand patting your cheek slightly harder than you were expecting.

”Good girl, you should be fucking sorry.” She goes back to her slow almost petting of your hair and you lean against her thigh. Diana uses the opportunity to let her hand wander down to cup your cheek then her fingers brush against your neck. Your heart rate spikes under her soft but claiming touch.

“You’re so worked up baby, relax.” She practically purrs and traces a finger down your pulse point, just dipping under your collar. She hooks her finger under your bra strap and lets it snap against your skin, You let out a tiny gasp, your breath picking up even under her slow touch.

”Diana” You say in a needy whisper, she’s barely done anything but already worked you up into a needy mess. Her hand stills.

”What baby?” She asks in a softer tone, worried she’d gone too far.

“I.. I need you please” You beg and immediately she resumes her touch, satisfied that you're enjoying this.

“You think you deserve a reward already baby girl? So greedy.” Diana leans back up and places both hands on your shoulder, her lips right by your ear.

“I'm feeling generous baby since you’ve listened to me so well.” She nips your earlobe, tugging it between her teeth gently.

“You wanted me so bad earlier, ok babygirl you can have some of me. Turn around.” Her last words are a command as she spreads her legs a little more and lifts her hips to tug down her shorts. You turn quickly and help her pull down her shorts, your fingers hook under the waistband of her boxers.

”No, I didn’t say you could do that yet, you have to earn it babygirl” She gently strokes your cheeks, the caring motion seemingly at odds with her stern words.

“O..ok” You say, a little unsure what to do.

“You can touch me baby, make me want you, drive me crazy.” She pats your cheek again before reclining back on the couch, she seems to not even pay attention as her eyes watch the game. You swallow your nerves and tentatively kiss along the inside of her thigh, one of your hands going up to her boxer clad core.

”You're so shy now baby, touch me like you mean it.” She grabs your wrist and presses your hand more firmly against her cunt. You use your thumb to press against her, she’s in control but you can feel how wet she is through her boxers. She lets out a low groan as you return to kissing up her thigh, you're more confident in your movements now, kissing and sucking, alternating thighs as your hands still rub her through her clothes.

”That’s it baby you're doing so good.” Her hand tangles in your hair again, her hand just resting on the back of your head. You nip and suck the inside of her thigh and groan again, her fingers tightening.

“Keep fucking going. You like to talk so much on the fucking court, use your fucking mouth now princess.” You can’t stop the small moan that escapes you as you lick up her cunt, her wetness mixing with the taste of fabric in a surprisingly erotic way. You push your face harder against her, sucking the fabric into your mouth a little.

“Fuck that’s right baby, you want to taste my pussy dont you?” You nod against her and flit your eyes up to meet hers.

“Your words princess, you have to use your words.” Her grip tightens in your hair again.

”I want your pussy, please Diana let me taste you.” You say, the need in your voice is surprising even yourself.

“Ok baby” She lifts her hips to help you pull her boxers off, your own cunt dripping with need as you see her bare before you.

”Fuck” You say quietly, taking her in for the first time. To you she’s perfect everywhere and her cunt is no different. She’s not shaved but not wild either, the dark hair matching her curls; she’s already so wet, her pussy practically glistening and inviting.

“Go on baby, you wanted me so bad.” Her tone is commanding but you can hear the hitch in her voice telling you she needs you just as much as you want her. You don’t answer with words but instead lick up her folds, your face half buried against her. You moan as her taste hits your tongue and she lets out a sharp breath, clearly restraining herself.

“Don’t be a fucking tease baby.” She says, her voice a little shaky now. You move faster, your tongue lapping at her clit greedily, hands braced on her thighs. Diana lets out a low groan and pushes your head against her more. You move your face down a little, your tongue swirling around her entrance.

“Fuck baby you're such a good girl such a good fucking girl.” Her hips rise off the couch a bit to meet your mouth. You moan and suck her folds into your mouth, using your tongue to flick at her clit.

“God dont fucking stop, just like that baby, make me cum.” Her hips buck slightly and her eyes flutter closed. This spurs you on and you move with vigor, sucking and slurping at her clit, moving up and down from her core and back, the lewd noises mingling with her quiet groans.

“Fuck, shit, good baby, good girl, eat my fucking pussy princess fuck dont stop.” Her words are a breathy babble as she starts to grind against your face more, her movements growing sloppy. You move one hand from her thigh and and circle your thumb around her entrance as you lavish her clit. She lets out a strangled groan as you push two fingers inside her.

“Oh god baby fuck” She pants her hips bucking. You crook your fingers, brushing against her inner wall and suck her clit into your mouth. She gasps and her eyes fly open.

“Im gonna cum baby, Im gonna cum all over your fucking face and you're going to take it, fuck look at me when you make me cum.” She commands and you can feel her tightening around my fingers. You bring my eyes up to meet hers. Her face is flushed, her pupils blown out in lust. You pump your fingers in and out of her, hooking them slightly, swapping between swirling your tongue around her clit and sucking it into your mouth. Finally you can feel her on the brink and you let your teeth scrape gently over her sensitive bud.

“Fuck!” She gasps and her legs shake slightly, her grip on your hair turns mildly painful as she grinds her cunt against your face. You pull your fingers out and immediately replace them with your tongue, lapping up her release greedily.

”oh god fuck baby you're so good fuck so good.” She pants as she comes down from her high. You don't stop until she tugs your face away gently.

”Enough baby.” She says softly and pulls you to stand up. You suck your fingers into your mouth not wanting to waste any of her. You look at Diana in a daze, intoxicated by her. You pant slightly as you crawl up her, she closes her legs and maneuvers you to sit in her lap.

“You did so good, baby girl.” Diana says, her hand rubbing your back.

”You taste so good mommy.” You whine and she stiffens slightly her hand stilling.

”I.. fuck I’m sorry I-“

”Say it again.”

“Y..you taste good?”

“Don’t be dense.”

“You taste so good… mommy” You blush and she shivers

“Fuck I didn’t know I’d like that.” Diana says softly and moves her hand to cup your cheek, her thumb brushing absently.

“I know you want me in charge baby but I have to follow your lead, I don’t want to take it too far, tell me what you want.” She sucks in a breath.

“Tell mommy what you want her to do to you.” You let out a small moan at her words and squirm in her lap, desperate for friction.

“I want you to do whatever you want, I want you to use me. I..I’ll tell you to stop if it’s too much, I’m not made of glass.”

“My fierce rookie, my little slut.” She grips your cheeks, her fingers digging into the skin and forcing your mouth open.

“Stick your tongue out baby. Open wide for mommy.” You obey and stick your tongue out immediately, tilting your head back slightly.

“You’re so obedient for me baby, such a good little slut.” She lets a string of spit fall from her mouth onto your waiting tongue.

“Swallow.” Diana uses her hand to force your jaw shut and you swallow, a shiver running through you at how dirty this is.

“Fuck you’re so good baby.” She coos and strokes her thumb across your bottom lip softly

[wontyoubeg]

I adore seeing my sub wear something cozy

Ugly tshirts, hoodies, mismatched socks, worn out sweaters, clothes that dont fit quite right.

Lingerie, fishnets and leather are nice and all but seeing that level of comfort and trust? Where they dont feel like they have to look their best all the time? Thats the sexiest thing they could ever wear.

All cute, snuggly and comfortable.

Perfect in my eyes 🖤

[miniteezez]

By Your Side

C.Jongho x fem!reader

Synopsis: As ateez's 9th member, jongho makes it his job to look after you always.

Warnings: reader gets hurt, bad language, injury

Happy late birthday jongho!!!

When he first found out you would debut with Ateez, Jongho was very unhappy. Only Hongjoong had met you, he raved about you. But jongho was content as eight. He was stubborn. Until he met you. The minute you walked into the room, it all changed. As soon as you introduced yourself, he was smitten. Even though you took position as youngest member, Jongho didn't complain again. Instead, he took it upon himself to take you under his wing. When it came to sharing dorms, none of the other members dared to go with you. That was always his place, to be by your side. He sometimes became envious of Mingi and Hongjoong. As you were a rapper, you were with them often. Even so, he never strayed from you. Your fans loved seeing the two of you together. The moment they (and jongho) found the most adorable was from an interview. When the presenter asked who you were closest with, you wasted no time in saying it was jongho. And, when she added why? You simply said, "he's my personal Teddy bear.".

Currently, you were on the final day of shooting for the 'Dont Stop' music video. Everyone had filmed their chunks of the video except for you and mingi. You two had a scene of being thrown out of a car.

"Now then. This has to be done very carefully ok? Renea are you OK to step in?" The director turned to his assistant to help film the scene. She just hummed, glaring slightly. For some reason, you got the feeling she really didn't like you. But, pushing that aside, she was good at her job and helped where possible. Jongho was completely preoccupied. His arm was loosely around your waist, hand messing with your skirt. Since seeing your outfit for the shoot, he'd been glued to you. Wearing a ripped black jumper, it hung off your shoulder and was tucked into a short pleated skirt. With mismatched length socks, one to your thigh one to your knee, you also wore boots. He thought, no he knew you looked stunning. So much so he didn't realise he was subconsciously stopping anyone from going near you. The director called you and mingi over, jongho still unconsciously following.

"Now then. Don't actually push them. You're just there for them to act off of, ok? Mingi will go first." He explained to which she just nodded and cilmbed into the car with mingi. Everyone stood to the side, watching as they did a few takes. Mingi made it look really easy, falling effortlessly every time.

"I'm nervous." You whispered, turning to look at the taller male. Jongho smiled, kissing your head softly.

"We're all here, I'm right here. OK?" You nod quickly, reluctantly leaving his side once mingi was finished. Jongho watched as you climbed into the car and started talking to renea.

"They don't get on very well." Hongjoong commented, seeing your uncomfortable expression as the assistant spoke.

"No, they don't. I wonder why?" Seonghwa folded his arms, pouting in wonder. From the side, wooyoung giggled slightly.

"I think renea has a crush on jongho." The boys all looked at the second youngest. Most of them understanding. Jongho furrowed his brows.

"She does?"

"Yeah, she's got you as her wallpaper. I think she doesn't like (y/n) because you're so close." San observed, wrapping an arm around Woo.

"She can't handle that (y/n) is your favourite." Yeosang walked over, standing beside yunho. Rolling his eyes, jongho glanced over to you and hummed.

"Well she'll either have to get over it or leave. Because it's never going to change." The boys all smiled at their younger friend, admiring his deep connection to you. Of course you were their youngest, and they all looked over you. But you were Jonghos number one. When the music began, everyone looked over to the car. Hongjoong frowned, stepping forward and squinting to see better through the dimmed windshield.

"Is she - is she yelling at her?" It was only then the boys realised renea looked angry and could hear her raised voice. But by then, it was too late. They watched in shock as she very forcefully pushed you out of the car. You landed against the rubble with a harsh thud, curling in on yourself immediately. Hongjoong went full angry captain, storming over to the director.

"The fuck was that?" He spat to the equally shocked man. He stuttered incoherently, but Jongho wasn't paying attention to that. The minute your body hit the floor, he felt his heart drop and blood go cold. Without a second thought he was at your side. Hooking his hands under your arms, he pulled you up into his lap. Instinctively, you tucked your face into his neck and Jongho could tell you were crying. The car was quite a step off the ground and, judging by how hard you fell, he knew you'd be hurt.

"Hey, can you look at me sweets?" Gently, he cupped your cheek, bringing you to look at him. He felt instant anger at the sight of your tears, the cut on your cheek and just the hurt in your eyes. Bringing you back into his embrace, he held you protectively for a few minutes.

"Can you stand?" When you nod, jongho helped you to your feet before turning to Yeosang. Coming over, jongho urged you to the other man before making a beeline for renea.

"Why did you do that?" She just looked at him bored.

"Oh I didnt do anything. She's just being dramatic." She scoffed, having the nerve to even smile. Jonghos eye twitched, hands gripping at his coat as to not do something stupid. Seeing this, Hongjoong walked over with the manager.

"Are you so jealous that you had to throw her out onto a dirt road?" He almost laughed, if

it wasn't for the rage. Huffing , renea let out a laugh.

"As if I'd be jealous of that thing. Plus it was just my job. I dont know how you care so much. She's nothing special." Losing it, jongho launched for the assistant, only to be pulled back by the director and hongjoong.

"It wasn't your job to hurt the artist. Follow me." Your manager took her away swiftly, leaving the others to calm down the youngest male. Yeosang rubbed your back as mingi looked over your wounds with a scowel.

"We'll get you fixed up, ok?" He reassured but you just sniffled, looking past the tall man to Jongho. Exchanging a knowing look, Yeosang and mingi turned.

"Oi! Jongho!"

"Get over here!" Startled, jonho escaped the men holding him and came back. He carefully took you from Yeosang into his own arms. Both of you physically relaxed at the contact, his fingers running through your hair.

"Come on. We're done here." Hongjoong announced, leading everyone out.

Back at the dorms, no one commented as jongho took you into his room. They understood. You sat on his bed, looking down at your lap as the male grabbed some supplies. Sitting beside you, jongho lifted your legs onto his lap and frowned. Both knees were bleeding, grazes and bruises littered along your skin. He couldn't stand to see you hurt at all.

"This might sting." You pressed your head against his shoulder as the disinfectant made contact with your broken skin. Biting your lip to suppress any noises of pain, a stray tear rolled down your cheek.

"What did she say? When she was yelling at you?" He asked, wiping over your knee with care. You sniffed, wiping your face and most likely smudging your makeup. But you didn't care.

"She just, she said I was a whore. That I'm embarrassing to see." Hearing this, jongho clenched his jaw and nod slowly.

"Why did she say that?"

"Because I'm always with you. Because I'm obsessed in her eyes..." After finishing on your knee, he turned to you with a stoned face expression.

"She's jealous. You know that right?" When you just looked confused, jongho smiled and pulled out a wipe. He took it to your face to gently remove your make up.

"She wants to be you. Wants to be in your position." His voice was kind, hand moving softly along your skin.

"She likes you." You mumbled, jealousy written all over your face.

"Yeah? Well you're the only one who can have me." Making eyecontact, you blushed heavily, letting his words sink in.

"You mean?"

"Was I not obvious enough?" He chuckled, stroking your cheek tentivley. Leaning into his touch, you smiled up at him. His eyes wondered over your face, taking in every detail. Putting a hand on his neck, you drew him forward and placed your lips against his. Although initially shocked, jongho kissed back instantly. His fingers laced through your hair, pulling you flush against him. In that second, you both forgot the situation that lead you to this point. When you parted, his thumb ran across your cheek lovingly, a redness painting your face.

"I really wouldn't mind if you were obsessed with me." He smiled almost shyly, causing you to laugh quietly. Cupping his face tenderly, you kissed across his face sweetly. From his forehead to his cheek to his chin. Letting your lips linger on his, jongho felt his face wash over with red.

"I just might be." Immediately, he simpered, kissing you once again. You smiled against his lips, arms hanging over his shoulders.

Reluctantly, jongho got up, clearing his stuff away before helping you change into some comfy clothes. You crawled under the covers of his bed and waited patiently for him to also change. It didn't take long until he was climbing in beside you. He wasted no time in pulling you into his chest, allowing you to wrap yourself around him comfortably.

"Hongjoong texted. They fired renea. Which is great. But imagine her reaction to seeing us together." He smiled proudly, fingers running up and down your arm soothingly.

"I imagine she'd do worse than push me." After saying that, jonghos grip tightened.

"I'd probably kill her." He said without emotion causing you to giggle. You loved the protective side of him. Tucking your head under his chin, you sighed in content and closed your eyes.

"I think we're getting take out later." His voice was quiet, knowing you were resting.

"Noodles. Spicy." Jongho smiled at your sleepy response, lips pressing to your temple. For now, he'd hold you whilst you slept. He'd savour the feeling of knowing you were finally his.

[daisyy345]

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[kavehpilled]

idk I'm a firm believer that the way you get to truly know someone is by knowing the littlest things about them because it makes the biggest difference. like I get excited about different kinds of yarn and I like baking even though I only do it once a week and I love shopping for my friends but I'll never ask for anything in return because i always feel guilty after. I hate the beach but I'd love going to a farm or some kind of field instead. I'm more of a cat person at heart but I've always had dogs so I'd consider myself a dog person. I'm allergic to every medicine under the sun. I write in all capitals because my favorite teacher told me it's more efficient in the long run. I dont wear glasses but I should when I read. I've always wanted to be a veterinarian. I have to mismatch my socks otherwise I go crazy and my outfit doesn't feel put together. I clean because it makes me feel like im important to other people. I used to go to church as a kid and sometimes I sing the songs we sang before sermon because they were such a core part of me back then. theres love in these little facts you just have to look for it.

[michelleelizabethtanner]

what do you think was beth's thinking throughout 2x09 regarding hooking up with rio? i dont think she had it planned going into the bar to meet him (between having his cut on her and the mess in the kitchen and the mismatched socks it seems clear she didn't have it planned). When do you think her mind changed? I think as she looked at him in the bar and realized she was going to have to cut ties she realized she wanted one more time with him and then her mind was set on that until after they were done. as soon as that happened she had just enough resolve to break things off as cold as she did. I'd be so curious to know both of their internal dialogues throughout that whole thing and after. was rio caught off guard at each step? He seemed tentative the whole time until after she kissed him twice. was he blindsided after she told him to leave? did beth go to the bathroom to shower and have to compose herself after shutting the door? What do think each of their thought processes were that episode regarding each other?

Anon, I’ve been sitting on this one. Mostly because so much insightful commentary has already happened about this scene and I didn’t know what I could meaningfully add to it. But I was in the shower just now, having shower thoughts, and decided maybe my contribution doesn’t have to be especially meaningful. Thank you for reaching out with this question and for the amount of thought you’ve put into this moment between them. 🥰 It’s such an incredible, layered moment. As guarded as both Beth and Rio are, they both set down their arms and found such amazing beauty in each other. 🥲

I agree with you, Beth didn’t have sex planned. She had his cut. She was saying goodbye at the bar. My headcanon is that this scene, with flirty Beth and laughing Rio and their sweet exchange, was actually mirroring 2.04 when Rio gave Beth the “keys to the kingdom” and told her to go be somebody. I fully believe he was saying a sort of goodbye to her in that moment. He was gonna let her have the funny money and move on, just like he said. He came back easily, just like Beth came back to crime easily. Because they were both jonesing for their fix. They’re addicts.

But back to 2.09, yeah, she saw him, she flirted with him in much the same way he flirted with her in 2.04. And then she decided she may as well live this moment to its fullest. When else would she get the chance? Even if she did leave Dean, even if she had sex with other people, when else would she have the unique experience of a sexual encounter with this kind of man? With this specific kind of attraction. They both knew it wasn’t just physical. Although, it very much was also physical. But not just physical. So like any addict – just one more hit.

As for him, I think there was a curiosity there. She was very obviously flirting. She was very obviously flustered. I think he was amused and kind of charmed by what a dorky, unpracticed seductress she was. Especially considering that he’s seen the way she can boss up. So suddenly that Boss Bitch who isn’t afraid to stand her ground was embarrassed and uncomfortable and not at all like that woman he followed into that bathroom.

I love that he followed her lead. That he allowed her to take a step, and then met her where she was ready. It’s such a show of caring on his part and I think is something that continued on into the rest of their relationship, especially season 4. He was just letting her have her moment on her terms. I don’t think he expected a kiss between them to be quite how it was. I think he was expecting to watch her make some more awkward moves and blunder kind of awkwardly into initiating actual sex, at which point he probably expected to just take over and make things easier on both of them. Bang it out and that’s that. But we all know that isn’t what happened. It’s like his whole universe suddenly stopped when she kissed him. They surprised each other.

As for the acts themselves, I kinda like that there’s some mystery to how it happened. It lets us fill in the blanks with what that may have looked like. I’ve seen people headcanon everything from the most tender lovemaking to the filthiest sex. 😅 I personally feel like Beth would have wanted to try everything. (Within reason.) Rio was her second sexual partner ever. Her only real prolonged sexual experience with someone besides Dean. I think she would want to do as much as she could. She would want to touch him everywhere, see him in all sorts of ways. My headcanon is that she went right for the zipper after undoing his shirt. Because she would have wanted to… um… test it out. See it up close, experiment. And I think she’s a planner, so she just quickly started going down her checklist of Things to Do to Rio. 😂

I also think that the bathroom was not where she composed herself. I did write this briefly in Rough Night, but I think that if this was her final goodbye, she would have begun detaching throughout the process. While they were still connected. While he was still inside her. I think she wouldn’t relinquish all control and just enjoy. She would want to commit to memory all the things. How he looked, how he tasted, how he felt, how he sounded… I think that by the time he came, she was already gone. I think she would have been honed in, attuned with all her senses so she could remember everything about what he was like when he finished. And I think to him it would have been extremely erotic how engaged she was. Maybe some eye contact, maybe touching him intimately (like his face or his lips or his hands.) Definitely she kissed him before he finished. Because it was the last last last time. Final chance. I think he came moaning into her mouth, thinking he’s starting something new and passionate, and she took in his whole bodily release to keep as a last memory.

I think the bathroom is where she compartmentalized. Where she started her groundwork for the denial. Wash him off her skin, wash him off her sheets, wash him from her life. You can see her continuing this process as she cleans up the bedroom after. I think this is just how she showered – pushing away any guilt or sadness or sentimentality. Pour (metaphorical) bleach on it. I think Rio was the one who had to compose himself. His primary emotion was probably anger. (It is with most men.) He dressed fast, peeled out fast, drove to the bar well above the speed limit. And then drank and composed himself, telling himself she’s just a bitch and trying to tamp down his anger.

So how’d I do? What’s everyone else’s headcanon about 2.09? It still hurts so good, all these years later.

[slinkysquid]

i just changed my sheets  there is blood on them again i had a nosebleed it wasn’t me ! i swear to god ! i sit quietly in the back of math class trying to learn through osmosis i like sitting in the far back corner i need to be able to see everyone else i start to panic when i feel eyes on me the room gets spinny and i am scared please dont see me i feel rubbery i think the world is a different place when you are lonely ​ i do quite like the rain i don’t mind wearing mismatched socks as long as they feel the same i wave to my cats as i walk down the hall ​i want to sew my lips tight i am a virgin and i associate sex with pain i don’t value my life that much i am okay with me dying i dont wear shorts i have a panic attack just thinking about wearing them outside the house i "practice" in my room, doodling on my legs i have to put a sticky note up on my door telling my family to "extra knock" so i have time to hide myself again before they see me i wonder if i will ever cut my bangs shorter i like the noise your shoes make as we walk. your head turns to look at the reflection in each window we pass by your eyes flick back and forth i wonder if anyone else notices i wonder if you notice i met a guy and i am not a damsel in distress he likes the same song as my dad i think that is a green flag i go to bed with a smile on my face my chest is lighter my brain is clearer i do not fit i hate small talk small talk is for small people i am not small i feel huge i feel tall and wide and in your way

i loveyou from a distance

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

-Abraham ♡♡♡

papyrus ⇢ if you put your ‘on repeat’ playlist on shuffle, what’s the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

ohhh what dont i like about this song, ill try and be brief, its mostly acoustic and just so tender but also about being destroyed, poetry in and of itself my friend. VERY reminiscent of my desire to be killed by someone i love (dont ask).

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

nope weve got nothing going in on in there, most of the walls are bare and the blankets are all mismatched, i dont even usually sleep on a pillow, just a squishmallow. ive got a ship replica, a fake rose, cat things, a glass egg and a giant leaf that was 25$

chamomile ⇢ what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?

oh i like getting stupid things or socks! NEVER enough socks, and i love stupid things or things that look demented, but honestly cheesy as it is i really do just like being kept company

[abetteranglican]

traits

very intense when younger, came off as rude, commonly 'pretentious' but I never understood why.

not understanding social norms, literally no clue why mismatched socks stand out to anyone, not caring about appearance/clothes- only starting to really now at 18ish. not understanding feelings of embarrassment- 'I dont get embarrassed'. brazen, struggled to see things not in black and white. shouty in class (trouble controlling volume) about social justice things/the environment, was known as annoying for this. knew myself as annoying, so just leant into it. not girly at all in puberty. not understanding girly things, drama. not understanding why people cared about fitting in. dont care about acting silly in public. not understanding personal space, being too touchy and making people uncomfortable but not understanding why. having a small number, normally one, of intense friendships, or none. anxiety about not having close friends within a group. oversharing. a teachers pet as a child, would point out people breaking rules. very active imagination. struggled to distinguish romantic and platonic feelings about friends. very loyal and brave in social situations. I have to think quite hard and over a long period of time, my whole life, to figure out social interactions, what makes people uncomfortable. now im hypersensitive to it but I still slip back unknowingly. being physically playful in an immature way still now, especially with boys/stevie. I find it easier to be in a group of boys than girls, not sure about one on one interactions (even easier). essentially all my close friends have been diagnosed as autistic or having adhd. become very good at tailoring my behaviour to a specific person, think a lot about how im presenting myself, our dynamic, what would help them. seeing my friendships with people as caring for a sort of creature that I want/need to learn about/study to help them, intense need to be a hero, very good person, selfless. naive and easily fooled, gullible. was often in friendship groups where I was the clown, sort of unknowingly. sensory overload at dinner starting around puberty. hearing that static/screaming noise. poor hygiene around puberty, took longer to adapt than others. very mature for age in some ways, very immature in others. I think I've forgotten about all this puberty time stuff because im quite intelligent in a certain way, and I've been able to adapt myself, its just taken a while. I didnt remember being different before, because it was never distressing, and compared to my autistic friends I was very 'easy'. trying to act like the doctor. definitely had/have special interests now I think about knowledge, they were just quite normal ones - housepets, big cats, books, dr who, warrior cats, arctic monkeys (accent), people, sewing, art. synesthesia, *looking* at things - sleeping beauty, dancing, movement, the countryside, peoples faces. really studying peoples faces, expressions, ways of speaking and presenting, trying desperately to burn these into my memory. very intense about needing to please adults, didnt care much what people my age think. superiority complex about art, physics, gets quite boastful and then considers all I've said/thought after in depth, critiquing how I deal with talking to people as I do it.

[heathcliffgirl1847]

@nighttimepatrons since u asked so very politely

ignore any dog hair theres really nothing i can do about that but accept it as part of my lifestyle

my first pair of mittens. i didnt notice the mismatched cuffs until i was blocking them. its fine i dont even care (<- lying). should not have chosen a yarn with the little flecks because now it always looks like they have bits of leaves in them! you live and you learn

and my first time with cables. i will never use this yarn ever again because it was next to impossible to undo mistakes but its a nice size for me and its very soft. so i'm happy with it

i made 3 hats (xmas gifts) and 2 pairs of socks also but they are pretty boring. one of the hats had little totoros on it which was cute i thought. and one of my socks had a fair isle design on the leg (nice) and a picot edge (fucked this up). im getting pretty confident in what i can do and have achieved my supreme goal of making socks :-) it feels funny that three months ago i was struggling to knit an untwisted stitch lol

i had planned to draw this break but ive been obsessed with knitting sorry guys ^_^ i will post drawings eventually

[sprimps]

✨  it’s as if you could hold the entire universe in your hands  ✨

[alien-kiid]

dates drawn (in order): 1. 8/14/2020 and 2. 8/18/2020,

i asked on my toyhouse what ocs ppl would like to see as human and i drew them

1. comfort is supposed to be a kinda pastel e-boy who’s scrawny but they dont mind and kinda weak and nave is supposed to be a tall goth buff but they dont like to show it (they’ve got muscles under the poncho)

2. next was Deo and for him i had first sketched him in my sketchbook. he makes music and posts it on his soundcloud. since he has black teeth in his demon form, i gave him silver teeth fillings and he wears an X eye patch to cover up he’s missing eye. i also made Deo have Vitiligo to represent the white cheeks and his paws (he’s also got a white patch on he’s chest that represents the heart marking he has). ALSO HES BASICALLY A DEMON KINNIE (as u can see by the horns on his headphones)