#dont get me wrong i REALLY am excited that more people can play them now

[boyquiet]

genuinely really excited and I will play all three games but. please don’t act like aa5 was his game in any way

[andy-wm]

i'm wondering how your thesis of "idols will come out when they want" fits into your insane shadow analysis attempting to prove jimin and jungkook fucked in the middle of their travel show (amongst other things)? like do you get joy out or trying to drag someone out of a closet they might not be in? or is it something else? just curious! 😀

Hey wdcmaxy

Since you have the guts to use your name I'll respond :)

So, you read my thesis?

*Sips whisky*

Cool. And you read my insane shadow analysis too?

Hmmm... do you come here often?

Let me answer your question then.

I think we both know the shadows analysis isn't really insane - it's based on very basic earth science. Shadows grow longer as the day progresses because of the rotation of the earth on its axis. You sound reasonably literate so i assume you know this already.

I guess your description of my shadow analysis ( I think I'll name my next racehorse 'Shadow Analysis') as insane is an attempt to discredit the idea that a fair bit of time passed while Tae was out of the house? But that was kinda silly on your part. Even children know that shadows change as the day passes.

Nothing insane about it.

He was gone for hours, no debate.

Now let's move on to the fucking part, and when and how idols choose to come out.

This is actually worth discussing.

As flattered as i am that you think my tiny insignificant blog could be a game changer for anyone, let's be real.

How many people, besides yourself, do you think read my blog?

Serious question.

I'm estimating maybe 100. Double that on a good day. Maybe 300 if i write something REALLY profound which doesn't happen often.

I am way less excited about my impact on the world than you are, because I'm a realist.

BUT if by some strange twist of fate my blog came to the attention of someone whose opinion mattered (I'm not counting you, don't worry) do you think they would take it seriously? Do you REALLY imagine a random tumblr post about shadows could make someone believe that an idol was gay if they didn't already believe it?

Here's a great example of how that wouldn't happen:

You, dear reader.

You're my example.

You came here to tell me I'm speaking shit and that I should pull my head in, correct? My insane shadow analysis hasn't changed your beliefs at all. You're here, throwing a tantrum on my page, because you don't agree with what I'm saying, not because you suddenly believe it.

Or ...

Perhaps you suspect it's true and that scares you. Maybe you can't be absolutely sure I'm wrong and that's why you need to yell at me? Could that be it? Time for a bit of self reflection?

Either way, it's not going to make an iota of difference in the grand scheme of things.

We are all just dust motes floating through time and space, my friend. You dont need to worry so much. The universe is unfolding exactly as intended.

However... There are a couple of things we should agree on:

The fact is that the shadows grew long and therefore, time passed. And Tae was out for several hours. Maybe he went out for a bit of afternoon delight himself? Maybe Jimin and Jungkook played Pokemon Go all afternoon, or prayed, or practiced their English, or braided each other's hair.

Regardless of whether they did or didn't fuck, or how many times, or on what surfaces, the time still passed.

And whether I write my blog or not, people will believe what they believe. And they will be gay or they won't be gay.

And even though I never mentioned anything about them fucking in that post, whether you like it or not Jimin and Jungkook might be fucking right now, as you read this.

One last thing...

Please bear in mind, through all of this, that fucking is not the be all and end all of life. Sure its a lot of fun if you do it right but the notion that it's more meaningful than sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, or giving someone your time and energy, is bullshit.

You can have a roots-deep love for someone and never even think of fucking them. Or you can meet someone in a public toilet and have at it, and leave without even knowing their name.

Sex does not equal love. Fucking is not that big of a big deal.

Unless...

Unless you're fucking someone the patriarchy doesn't want you to fuck. Then its a major issue.

Hear me out.

The need to control who we fuck is based a patriarchal need to control material wealth.

To control material wealth, the patriarchy needs to control reproduction (so they can be sure their wealth stays with their bloodline, because wealth is built over many generations) and to do THAT they need to control womens' bodies.... and to do that, of course they need to control who women fuck. And who men fuck too!

Do you know what the ACTUAL issue is with men who like dick? They don't automatically buy into the patriarchal way of life. (where's the solidarity, lads?)

Why don't they?

Because lifelong monogamy and marriage and nuclear families don't matter as much when you're not equating love with sex, and sex with reproduction. When your goal isn't to accumulate wealth and pass it down to your children.

Same thing applies to women who love women. They aren't focused on being demure and pleasing the men in power. They aren't focused on making themselves wife material. They will challenge the status quo and maybe even (shock! horror!) decide not to have children. How the heck do you make sure your money and power stays in the family, how do you build an empire, when the women are perfectly happy having sex with each other and don't want to love, honour and obey??

And whose fault is all this?

Its got to be the damned queers, right? They're making people think there might be other ways to share your life with those you care about! That's why its important to squash down gayness whenever you can, right, wdcmaxy?

Look at them destroying the fabric of society!

If Jimin and Jungkook ARE fucking every chance they get, good for them. I hope they're balls deep and breathless, hitting all those sweet spots for each other having a really good time.

And if they're not fucking, it actually doesn't matter to me because the way they support each other and share their hearts is beautiful. (I do think they are fucking though)

Truthfully, whatever they're doing, as long as they're happy I'm happy.

Can you say the same, wdcmaxy?

Peace.

[pigeonxp]

ok now that bt is FINALLY bones, all i really have to say is fuck yall for real. there are some of yall that arent that bad, but the overwhelming majority of you guys are actually fucking awful. i have had twitter mutuals be harassed by yall, i have had friends harassed, ive seen people i dont even follow being called horrific things and insulting their appearances, and so so much more. one thing that really sticks out is the blatant misogyny that some of you guys present. the amount of men that have gone online and confidently called women bitches and sluts and whores and cunts and hoes is genuinely fucking deranged, and i hope you all know that. there have been bt stans in my replies and my inbox and in my business, telling me that IM in the wrong for stating my opinions on the weird ass shit theyve been doing, telling me that they "dont feel welcome" in this fandom, and that they feel like this fandom is toxic and etc etc etc etc I DONT CARE BRO. i have said it once and ill say it again and again. some of you guys are just not meant to be in fandom spaces. there are block buttons for a reason. you can block people and tags and literally everything under the sun but you continue to SEEK OUT shit that makes you mad or that you dont agree with just so you can hate on the OPs in their replies. you dont seem to understand that people can have opinions on what characters they like and what ships they enjoy, and that other people have the right to criticize them. i am NOT sorry and i will NOT apologize for how i may have reacted. i do NOT feel bad for you. we all told you that this wasnt going to last, the showeunner said it wasnt going to last. the ACTOR said it wasnt going to last. and instead of using critical thinking skills and media literacy training, you got tattoos for this ship, you spent hundreds of dollars on cameos from a nepo baby, and you spent days of your lives hating on and harassing people over a FICTIONAL TV SHOW. instead of being upset at LFJR for leading yall on, you attacked oliver stark for being "biphobic"??@?!?!??!!??!÷*×(!&×,@ for having an opinion on his own character, especially after he spent time becoming genuinely one of the biggest bisexual allies i have ever seen. after he told reporters that he was planning on playing buck as bi anyway, after he made post after post saying how excited he was for bucks storyline, and after he advocated for this character he loves so dearly. you jumped down his throat for no reason. i have absolutely no sympathy for you. i really do hope you follow lfjr back to SWAT and i truly hope he gets every single line and every single scene just to keep him off of my fucking screen. 🫶

[sout999]

adhd talk

the third truly unsung project alongside my film and dissertation was the weird amount of targeted effort i had to put into Completing Anything Big As A Neurodivergent Person Whose Brain Is A Crazy Off The Rails Train Staffed and Patronised Entirely By Multiple Exact Copies Of The Squirrel From Ice Age

which is a description like 99/100 people reading this can relate to, but i think a sentiment i see less often and therefore feel kind of stupid and stubborn and lonesome about is "adhd is innate but is also exasperated by hectic lifestyle/modern instant gratification machines so if i fix my habits around those i can cure myself forever". which is silly and wrong but also i feel abit disconnected from adhd social media culture and cant cope just relating to it (which is all it seems to be sometimes) but learning to harness or tame it to do the things that are really important to me

i felt really cringe tbh having to look up youtube videos of HARVARD STUDENT REVEALS PRO STUDY TRICK and then narrowing it down to specifically adhd-focused study videos and keeping a planner and setting aside specific time to study studying and practising anti-academic meltdown journaling techniques and reading fucking atomic habits but i really didn't want to contribute to my abhorrent academic record following me all through undergrad. in fact i wish i had done this sooner but i was not self aware enough to consider the fact

probably the best change i made was severely cutting down or being mindful of social media time, i don't backread my tl anymore and have more moments of awareness when i find myself dumbly scrolling and realize i dont want to be doing this, and then wondering what i actually Do want to be doing. i keep a book nearby to read, and have also swapped a lot of social media time to sketching-off-pinterest time. reading about the psychology behind social media apps is also super interesting, although i always feel like a paranoid wacko conspiracy theorist talking about it. stuff like how negativity and judgemental behaviour is good for engagement (and therefore ad revenue), and how if all posts on your tl were interesting you wouldn't be as addicted to social media as you are, therefore microblogging employs a slot machine/gacha system where you "roll" for posts by logging on and hope to get a good one. it's a little full on but the more i think of it as a revolting and evil machine the more incentive i have to do something else with my time ^q^

a harder thing to do was, in the late stages of the project, the real crunch time month, avoid everything that could become a huge hyperfixation, and then eventually even minor distractions or fixations. because i know if i got super obsessed with something i'd just be up posting about it or drawing fanart. i had to bar myself from persona 3 remake and elden ring dlc and all these other shiny new releases, and the mobile games i was playing... i look forward to catching up on them now. i took up reading books a lot more because unfortunately thats just not as exciting. in the last month of film work i stopped listening to music on my computer so i wouldnt get drawing or animation ideas to distract me from film work. as of writing this i havent listened to music in like 40 days guys 😱 at the same time i am the kind of person who needs background noise to work, so i have:

watched novum's four hour hereditary video essay three times

watched novum's seven hour midsomar video essay three times

watched that one five hour bojack horseman retrospective twice

listened to audiobooks of the Britney Spears biography, Jennette McCurdy biography, three Playboy Bunny biographies (i was on some sort of lady bopgraphy kick i guess), and a few fiction books

rewatched all of bojack horseman

started on House MD and got a few seasons in before i finished the project, amazingly the perfect show to look away from bc of all the medical stuff, how many lumbar punctures do you need to show like seriously

honorable mention to the learned skill of communication and being honest and picking your battles and killing your darlings which is a larger part of managing mental illness than i cared to admit but one of the hardest ones because it involved confronting things and making big painful drastic changes and then having to tell the faculty about them. sometimes i'd be stuck on a piece of animation work for weeks/months, then go back and change the underlying idea to one i'm actually passionate about, and do the animation work in one day using newly found magical hyperfocus passion power. it's crazy! but being able to be confident about taking those steps rather than keeping on with what you're "supposed" to do went a long way.

i very much look forward to listening to a music and playing some video games properly now and being pulverized like a small victorian child from the sheer amount of fun i'm having. i'd say it was all worth it and a fun experiment in channeling the magical humours of passion and boredom and i hope it will help me with future projects too. i Am super burnt out though x__ x thanks for reading and for all your support up until now!

[dreamsy990]

so it all comes to this.

to say i was excited to play 3 would be wrong. actually i was sort of dreading the game. i went in with expectations for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. which is not to say that its good. but its certainly a game! that i played! and now you get my thoughts. unfortunately a lot of my thoughts about the end of the game are kind of hard to separate so. if youre wondering where my thoughts on endgame stuff is. its at the end.

(also i havent played remind so theres no remind thoughts here. its all just base game kh3)

combat (with some other gameplay notes)

so. im not a big fan of the combat. to preface, i played the rest of the series on standard, but with kh3 i was told it was easy so i did proud! and yet it was still the easiest kh game.

kh3 is the first game in the series where i feel as though 'mash x to win' is a valid criticism <- thats not entirely true at the start, but later in the game it does feel a lot like that. almost every fight is mindless because of how easy it is. you can see it in the enemy health bars, theyre absurdly large because of how easy it is to take them down. they need to have that high of health so the fight isnt over in under a minute.

i dont think the base combat is bad. unsatisfying, maybe. But not bad. except for attraction commands.

attraction commands feel like part of a pattern in kh3, where they try to recreate what made the other games so good without understanding WHY it was good. what theyre recreating ofc being reaction commands. technically its the same as some reaction commands, sure, being a giant dramatic attack, but it doesnt work because theres no situational awareness in them.

attraction commands dont feel cool because theres nothing in them that requires use of your surroundings or that is tailored to the enemies youre fighting, since theres only a couple that can be used at any time. there's nothing strategic about using them either- reaction commands normally would give you a specific advantage, or could be used to avoid attacks, only sometimes dealing damage on their own. in kh3, all attractions do is deal damage. they are impersonal and often obtrusive- if youre like me and hate attractions, youll still often accidentally use one, since theres no way to disable them.

this is more abstract than anything, but something about attacking feels unsatisfying. the combat feels like it lacks any real sense of impact or weight to me. but thats all personal and not exactly good criticism so. i digress

also the bosses in 3 suck. you know its bad when the most memorable boss fight in your game is the tutorial. most of the boss fights in this game are so unmemorable that ive literally forgotten them. except of course demon tide. i despise demon tide. it was fine in 0.2 but not here. every time you fight it feels like a missed opportunity for something cooler.

i think flowmotion is worse now. i get that it was a bit too overpowered, but with how much it was limited i ended up hardly using it. i didnt like flowmotion because of the attacks, i liked it because of the movement. so to me, it ended up being a reminder of how kh3 failed instead of a fun feature.

also i know a lot of people like being able to switch keyblades in fights, but honestly i feel like it removes an element of strategy the other games had

the ui (and other visual things)

this isnt something i talked about in my other reviews. but in kh3 i must bring it up. if you follow me you may know my hatred for kh3s ui. so im going to talk about it again! this is the abridged version though. heres my whole rant if you want my full thoughts on it. but the short version is that i dont like it. i am someone with terrible vision and i can play every single kh game without glasses because the ui is just big enough that i can read it. most of the time i can read subtitles too. but in 3? i struggle even WITH glasses to read anything. the ui is too small to make out anything almost all the time. its really only by muscle memory that im able to play. my glasses broke while i was playing, and i literally couldnt play until i got new ones because i couldnt make out a single word on screen. its bad design.

im also upset that there ui art has been replaced with renders. its just a shame honestly. i loved the art in the older games. the renders feel bland in comparison.

and thats generally my take on the look of modern kh. sure its pretty, but its bland. kh has always had a certain cartoonish vibe to it thats starting to die out, and i think the shift to unreal engine was the first marker of that change. i like the look of old kh. its not too technically impressive but its incredibly charming. kh3 is anything but. the characters feel far less expressive, the worlds are realistically rendered, it feels unfitting for a series like kh. its hard for me to find kh3 as charming as the other games. the only word i can think of to really describe it is corporate.

i dont know if this is a rare take, but i think technically impressive visuals are far worse than distinct ones. kh used to have a unique look! now it just looks like every other semi-realistically rendered rpg.

story (featuring: more gameplay notes)

my problem with kh3's story was unavoidable really. dream drop distance set this game up for failure and so im not going to complain about dream drop distance. ANOTHER TIME ill talk about dream drop distance. i dont have time to make a post that long. i do have a lot of problems with the story that werent a result of ddd being terrible so i guess ill just bring up those.

one of my biggest issues with the game is how unimportant the roxas plot is. youre led to believe the game will revolve around it but then sora does nothing to further it. at all. at the start he CONSIDERS doing something, and then hes told by ienzo "no its fine ive got it. go do something else" and its barely ever mentioned again until the end.

this relates to my overarching problem with the plot: it feels aimless. in every kh game theres a REASON theyre going on a journey. soras looking for his friends, roxas is working a 9 to 5, the wayfinders are all following each other, etc. but in kh3 sora is looking for "the power of waking". what is the power of waking? i literally have no clue. thats how poorly defined it is. its an abstract goal, its not tangible or even really achievable. its just a macguffin. when the plot suddenly decides to happen at the end the whole journey feels pointless. you could skip every disney world past twilight town and you would probably be fine. it's not a journey, you're not exploring for a purpose, you're just killing time until other people handle the plot.

i also really hate the new organization (i refuse to call them the real organization. theyll never be the org). theyre painfully boring and poorly put together. the old org had structure, they had very specific goals, every member had a purpose. you knew how they worked and why they did what they did. the new org is just completely lacking in that. calling it an 'organization' is stupid because there's nothing organized about it. and even disregarding all that, the new organization also lacks any real personality. the members feel so boring, which sucks, because almost all of them are returning characters who used to be really fun. and why are most of them even there? no one except maybe xigbar seems to actually care about their mission. the old organization had a common goal and a reason everyone was there. they were nobodies, they wanted their hearts back. there's no reason for any of the new members to stick with xehanort. and if you say "well they were norted!" i then must ask. what exactly is norting? like really. it hasnt been possession since birth by sleep. norting is whatever nomura needs it to be in the moment. its not clearly defined, its just another macguffin.

also because i dont know where to put it, the battle of 10,000 heartless is just a terrible successor to the original fight. there's no stakes, no buildup, no friends fighting by your side, no reason to care. they just throw thousands of heartless with no ai at you. literally no ai, if you stand still they wont attack you. its a drag if anything, an homage to a better game done absolutely no justice.

back to what i was saying about the roxas plot, roxas' return is just such a nothing scene. theres nothing about it thats cathartic, his lines are impersonal and bland, theres nothing 'roxas' about it. roxas' defining feature has always been how emotional he is, and there's none of that here. its nothing. and then he does nothing afterwords. he has seven whole lines in this entire game, six of them are in this scene, and the last one is an inconsequential jab at sora at the very end. and then he fades into the background.

the writing in this game in general is actually weirdly worse than normal. it feels a lot less, idk, human? the older games were weird and absurdly cheesy but this is just. strange. look at the scenes with riku and mickey in the realm of darkness and youll see what i mean.

WHILE IM ON THAT SUBJECT. RIKUS KEYBLADE BREAKING IS BULLSHIT. remind me to rant about that another time though im not gonna go on a tangent about that here

also i would give my thoughts on the ending but i literally couldnt care less about xehanort. so i dont really have any! the final boss was alright though

i have more specific thoughts, but generally, the game feels aimless and underwhelming.

positives

i love axel and kairi! theyre a fun duo and ill never shut up about their parallels so seeing them together is nice. i wish they did anything but thats BESIDES the point im being POSITIVE here

also. the music is great. i love the music sm. its nowhere near my favorite kh soundtrack, it feels a lot more grand which isnt my thing but its still some of yoko shimomuras best work. also hearts as one. its the PERFECT conclusion to roxas' theme and arc. the progression of it from melancholic (roxas) to desperate (the other promise) to triumphant (hearts as one) is just so good. i wish the rest of this scene was as good as the music so i could compliment it more wholeheartedly yknow?

its actually funny also! kh isnt the funniest series, most of the time when it IS funny its completely on accident. but kh3 is like days in the way that it just. actually has funny writing. the jokes intended DO land and its just a breath of fresh air.

oh also riku being well adjusted is the funniest possible conclusion to his character arc. 10/10 im so happy hes normal. never give that boy an emo arc again nomura

conclusion

over all, kh3 is exactly like how my teachers described me in elementary school: it has a lot of potential, but doesnt apply itself. this couldve been a decent game but it simply doesnt do most things very well. i give it a 5.2 / 10. its not an actively bad game but its a game i have trouble enjoying. sidenote im retconning my opinion on bbs to say its 4.7 / 10 because a: my opinions have changed and b: i think 3 is better but i dont want to give it a very high score.

[tadpolesonalgae]

ive seen the argument that rhys killed the winter court children thrown around so much but thank you for saying that bc i was starting to think i read it wrong. kallias only agrees to help the night court when it's made clear that rhys didnt kill the children and that amarantha had another mind reader. and they even become allies because kallias and viviane are at some celebration at the housw of wind later in the books right? if it had been rhys none of that would happen.

there are a lot of reasons you can not like rhysand he was always meant to be a morally grey character (imo sjm made him too nice actually) but im always confused when people keep using this reason because it might be the only one he was proven innocent

i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand like the whole thing with the ic is that they all did terrible things but with a reason and she's just a bitch for a lack of a better word

i also felt both az and rhys were justified in how they treated her, i mean it was tough to read but she went way too far in how she was talking about elain, calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her (and not even that badly like he meant everything he said and none of those were lies) and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre. also if she has had this personality for centuries i can only imagine the list of shit the ic has against her

id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol

I mean, with the Winter Court situation, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened? 🫣 I don’t have the books on me at the moment so I can’t check but I agree it would be weird if Kalias and Viviane came over for the solstice with the death of a dozen children between them, so I’m inclined to believe Rhys wasn’t the one who committed that particular crime for Amarantha 🫠😭

And with Rhys being morally grey, I feel like it gets a little confusing because we don’t really get to see what he’s like as a character without Feyre? I feel like he probably took a bit of a (positive) turn now that he has his mate if that makes sense? Also the fact he isn’t under the pressure of maintaining a mask so thoroughly has probably contributed to who he’s become? I’d really like to get a scene though where the morally grey part bleeds through, perhaps if someone’s threatened in a future book? 👀

Either way, he’s a fictional character (to many’s upset 😔) so I suppose his personal ethics aren’t a particular point of contention when held against some problems occurring in our world 😕

‘i loved the story dont get me wrong but reader in that is closer to hybern than to rhysand’

You do not have to worry about a thing, she is fully intended to be easily and actively dislikable though I don’t think it’s an issue if some people take her side since this is a work of fiction 🧡💛

However, I am really interested in seeing what sides people take when it comes to what she does and her motivations, as well as what she holds dear and who she’s loyal to when it comes down to it! I’ll be curious if anyone will feel her actions might be more easily justifiable or at the very least understandable once more of her past is dug up? Whether people feel a bad deed is always a bad deed irrespective of circumstance, or whether the context and environment surrounding an action should be taken into consideration before passing judgement :)

‘calling her all type of misogynistic names just because azriel and her are together so ofc azriel lost it on her’

To be perfectly honest with you, I really enjoyed getting to write the parts because of how inappropriate they were given the situation 🤦😭 Her trying to convince Az to be with her and then insulting the person he claims to be in love with 🫣

‘and then ofc the last straw for rhys was her threatening to dig up the archeron dad, that's a disgusting thing to do and rhys doesnt play about feyre.’

I mean, not only is she a prominent figure in society, but she also has some pretty intense power readily disposable, and she doesn’t really act like she’s responsible enough to handle it (but we’ll inevitably examine those parts, too, because it would be weird if she just came into all that power without any sort of accountability or understanding of death and life, right? 👀)

‘id love to read more of this story but i think it's pretty clear she's a villain, not even morally grey like the ic. i do love villain stories though so im excited lol’

Honestly I’m still figuring out what’s going to happen in the end? She’s going to get with Az, but I’m indecisive on whether it’ll be a clean ending or not? I feel like if it is going to be like that, there’s a line that she won’t be able to cross, whereas it might be quite interesting to see how people try to reconcile her actions while still keeping in line with their own morals?

Also witnessing through her actions what sort of person she’s become and what situations have led up to that (and whether there are other people partially responsible for the things that have happened)

Either way, I think it’ll be exciting to figure these things out! There’s still so much of the story yet to be decided on, so it’s going to take some time for a next part to come together! And thank you so much for writing in!! I absolutely adore getting to read thoughts like this, it makes me so happy to know you’re invested to this level 🧡💛

[waywardsalt]

ok since tears of the kingdom is coming out like. insanely soon i figured i’ll just dump how i’ve been feeling abt it here. i wont tag for them and i dont intend to share any but because i have been actively seeking out spoilers i will vaguely reference them here so… idk really long musings on this game and my feelings abt it

(im just writing this out mostly for myself since i really kind of just. want to really figure out how i feel about this)

i… am not excited for totk?

i’ve figured out a bit ago that my severely waning interest in botw and general anxiety and discontent surrounding totk is just that… these games arent for me. i dont enjoy open world games with half a million things for you to do like it’s basically a sandbox. i struggle to really enjoy singleplayer minecraft. the space stage in spore gives me genuine anxiety, both when i played it as a kid and again when i reached it as an adult.

botw and totk are not games for me, and that’s cool. i’ve figured that out.

so why am i getting so damn anxious about this new game?

i am getting totk- not entirely of my own volition, i live with someone who is very genuinely excited for it, so it’s pre-ordered digitally on our switch. i am going to play it and complete it at least once.

the gameplay and world of botw never really got to me, and even what snippets of gameplay i see for totk dont really entice me. it just makes me anxious to think about the sheer amount of new stuff i’ll be dropped in the middle of and how i really dont care about this version of link or zelda or anyone else in botw’s hyrule

and some of the story spoiler stuff and general direction this game is going in has me just worried that the zelda series is moving away from what it used to be into an entirely new direction, that being a direction that it seems like i wont enjoy as much as everyone else seems to

so then i guess my main worry outside of totk is that i just end up struggling to really feel connected to the rest of the community about this? being a contrarian is fun until everyone is enjoying something you for some reason can’t get yourself to

i dont have a lot of hope in the story of totk to harken back to… ANYTHING of worth that past games have built up and made to be so important and interesting. hype is a dangerous thing for a not-yet-released game, and while i think the insane amount of speculation and theories and hype around totk will cause a lot of people to be disappointed with the final story, i dunno if i really wouldve liked it even if the story actually piqued my interest

maybe totk’s gameplay will really hook me. maybe i’ll enjoy the massive open world and gmod-ass gimmicks. but what ive seen of the story makes me less interested and the snippets of gameplay i see just make me remember how bored i now am with botw

at the end of the day this is just a video game with tags on this site i can blacklist and videos i can ignore and lore i can brush aside because at this point loz canon is a suggestion more than anything

i just cant shake the discomfort of once again being an outlier as everyone i see loses their mind about this new game while i just feel overwhelmed by it. i have played botw for a long time and have long since worn it out. i played age of calamity to completion and have not touched it or cared for it beyond the music since. i am not excited about totk and i feel like i am in the wrong due to my opinion

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

⭐

im gonna go back to one from a few months ago so u get an answer u care about instead of one about one of my dozen mcyt fics-

so. author's commentary on A Very WOE.BEGONE New Year's is a go!!!!!!

11:48 PM December 31st, 2023 Oldbrush Valley, USA

i dont remember why i did the scene-setting like this and when i read this my mind imagines the locations and times typing across the screen like its a heist movie. anyway. note me very carefully avoiding mentioning the state that OBV is in

"Why do we let you guys pick the games?" Chance griped.

when i started thinking "W.BG new years fic," the first thing that came to mind was "Base absolutely plays board games together on new year's." the rest of the fic evolved around this core truth

"It also means nobody except you and Edgar knows what's going on," Mikey complained. "I actually really like this game," put in Jam.

jam my beloved my sweetheart. im so mad about how few appearances theyve had in canon since s10, Jam just has a PERFECT dynamic with literally everyone in the show for some reason. MAKE JAM A CORE BASE MEMBER AND CORE CAST MEMBER DYLAN

"Can we just call the game here?" Chris asked.

um. im only just now noticing that the narrative cant decide whether to call them Chance and Shadow or Chris and Ryan. when i first read this back for the commentary, i had a moment of whiplash where i pictured Topher saying this line before i realized. hopefully nobody else thought that was the case.

"And I was so excited for my turn," said Shadow.

i picture Shadow as the sort of person to really enjoy the board game that theyre playing, but not mention that when theyre deciding to cut it off because everybody else seems not to be having fun. him <3

"That's fine," Mikey said. "I read somewhere that it's better to drink champagne from a normal wine glass since the flute makes it smell worse." "It's more complicated than that - it has to do with the wine's vortex zone comparable to the size of the opening - but yes, a white wine glass is usually better," said Jam.

im proud of the characterization here, because this feels very Them - of the people in the room, Mikey feels far and away most likely to read something like this in passing and not look any further into it, and Jam seems most likely to be an actually wine appreciator. i shouldve had them bring up tulip glasses as the ideal, though, my bad.

"You are not going to break 24 to buy some wineglasses!"

Edgar is living in a fantasy if he thinks this is the first time a Mike Walters has broken 24 to buy some wineglasses

"They'll sort it out," said Marissa. "And we can drink champagne out of mugs or something."

picture Jam in the corner cringing internally like "this is a terrible idea for wine appreciation but if i say anything i will look like such a killjoy"

Montana, USA, Near Glacier National Park

not pictured: duckduckgo search results for "where is glacier national park." i wonder, actually, does anything in canon actually rule out that Sly's saloon and ranch are on the Canadian side of Glacier? food for thought...

The oldest set down his cards.

is... is Michael older than Sly? is that canon? did i make that up? that sounds like it could be right, but it also sounds like it could be wrong.

"Could it be somebody from Base?" "Not likely," said MW. "They're holdin' their own party tonight." "I'll get it," said Michael. "One a'y'all mind followin' me with the shotgun in case things get Western?" "Right behind ya, Big Bear," said Sly, standing. "Do things get any way other than Western with you guys?" asked Matt, grinning. "European, if we're back at the apartment," answered MW.

patting myself on the back again because i can hear this dialogue in the character voices VERY easily, this feels very naturalistic to how they riff in the show, i am a god of fanfiction

Michael opened the door, hand on the pistol at his hip, Sly behind him with shotgun in hand, then did a full double-take. "Ah don't believe mah eyes," he said. "You really here, pard?" "In the flesh," said Mike. "C'mere, cowboy." The two embraced.

i wanna point out Mike's absolute ZERO reaction to Michael and Sly both having their guns at the ready. he just goes straight in for the hug regardless. mike my guy are you okay?

"I got another spare hat if you're feelin' left out, Mike," Sly said. "Hard pass," said Mike.

no matter what happens, Mike cannot be a cowboy. this is a law of the universe.

"What are we playing and is it too late to deal me in?" "We was playin' Texas Hold'em, but I wouldn't mind cuttin' the game off, actually," said MW "Yeah, I'm getting a little tired of handing all my savings over to Sly," Matt agreed.

reading this back Mike must feel sort of left out here. imagine showing up to the party and they stop the game IMMEDIATELY when you show up. luckily they pick up playing rummy right after this.

you'll notice that we keep cutting into these scenes right as they decide to stop playing - this is because i don't want to fluff scenes out with transcripts of characters playing board and card games. descriptions of them playing really dont do anything except space out the lines that ACTUALLY advance their characters.

"You want anythin' to drink? Big Bear's on four shots of whiskey and the rest'a us have had two or three, so it might even up the playin' field a bit."

ive never drunk anything in my life, so everytime i write alcohol into a scene i have to go look up what a Standard Drink is and how people act on different amounts of Standard Drinks and sometimes it makes me feel like an alien pretending to be a drunk human. anyway

"That's Edgar," said Michael. "Generous t'the end." He smiled, a little wistful as he looked into the bottom of his glass. "Not too generous," said Mike. "He's keeping me on simulated real time, which means I'm probably not going to bed until at least four in the morning back in my time." "It's a holiday, Mike," said MW. "Yain't got nothin' to get up for. Laze around in bed with Edgar for as long as y'can. It don't last forever." "Ah'll drink t'that," said Michael.

Mike said the word "Edgar" and it triggered the mikes without an edgar to instantly go into Yearning Mode like their sleeper agent code

"No, it's alright. I only have so much time with him, but I only have so much time with you guys too, y'know?" "Everythin' runs out eventually," said Michael, reaching for Sly's hand, his eyes still on Mike. "Enjoy it while it lasts an' find other things t'care for when it's over. It's gonna hurt, but it can't hurt forever, cause even the hurtin's gonna run out one day."

wow. you can tell the person whos writing this fic is realizing theyre a few months away from exiting their teens :P

"An' a perfect toast, t'boot," said Sly. "Ah got us all new shots. 'Cept you, Big Bear. Y'don't get any more until you drink that water 'stead'a starin' into it likee it's the moon."

okay but ive soured on both Sly as a character and on Harlan as a person since writing this fic and it makes his appearances here SLIGHTLY more annoying for some reason? it feels a little like he isnt reading the mood but thats probably just me projecting my thoughts about Harlan ajlsdfhaskjdfhasdjk

"An' I'm tryin' t'make sure it ain't your last," Sly said, chucking him affectionately under the chin.

i have a very clear memory of googling what it means to chuck someone under their chin, to make sure it made sense here, but i dont have any memory of what i actually found. oh well. i trust past me

11:34 AM January 1st, 2024 Riga, Latvia

so, Riga time is 9 hours ahead of Montana time, which means this scene is taking place about three hours after the last one. this likely means everyone at the ranch has had several more drinks since that scene ended.

P.P.S. I looked it up and New Year's in Latvia was yesterday. Whoops. Hope you enjoy anyway. -Mike

i just find the idea of somebody forgetting about time zones when theyre using LITERAL TIME TRAVEL TECH very amusing

Boris smiled and shook his head. He would have to find a way to pay them back for this.

i picture Boris as the sort of person who is incapable of accepting a gift without thinking that they owe the other person something

"Honestly, no," answered MDawg. He looked into his own beer. "Feels like I've figured out maybe a tenth of what I need to make my new life out here work."

ok, but a Mike Walters being willing to admit this is already great progress

"Gets easier with practice, Em Dawg," said Outlaw.

early Outlaw Ty accent my beloved. its so stupid. Em Dawg.

"We can getcha the hat an' make you a cowboy if'n it'll help y'all get adjusted."

i appreciate how Tex's response to MDawg being like "i dont know where im going in life or what my goals are or how im going to survive here" is "want a cowboy hat"

"We don't all know what we're doin' all the time, MDawg," Tex answered. "But you're right. We can make it a good year by watchin' out for each other. I sheepdog the two'a y'all, y'all sheepdog each other an' me. Texas Base'll be stronger'n ever."

reading this back now in the middle of Season 13, it strikes me how out of character this sentiment feels for Tex. he hadnt been so differentiated as a character yet, but this sort of vulnerability is very strange for him.

A couple people threw cowboy hats in the air, others toasted, still more cheered. Tex, on the other hand, turned back to his compatriots. He grabbed Outlaw by the collar and pulled them together, pressing his lips to his partner's for a second or two, before releasing the flushed cowboy-in-training. He wasn't quite as rough or spontaneous with MDawg, gently taking his hand before fractionally tilting his head down to meet his lips. Finally, he stepped back, and watched MDawg step slightly closer to Outlaw. "Can I-" started MDawg, before Outlaw stooped to kiss him. It was quick, and Tex, thinking back, was fairly certain it was the first time they kissed. Still, they both looked happy.

ah, the new year's kiss. Texascule is real to me, okay??? i like how Tex kisses Outlaw like hes HUNGRY for it and he kisses MDawg like a fragile little flower, its very characteristic of how he views them.

"Happy New Year's," said Tex, his voice a low, affectionate rumble. "Love y'all."

"low affectionate rumble" makes me imagine him purring this. like a kitty cat

1:16 AM January 1st, 2024 Oldbrush Valley, USA Cabin 63A, O.V.E.R.

i didnt realize that i set this scene quite as far post-midnight as i did. this means Ryan did not look at the clock once for an hour and a half which i think does make sense.

On the screen in front of him was the source of his pain - a copy of the source code for the OVER Tier Two Security program.

but also, he's doing WORK on new year's eve. take a break, ryan.

Should he talk to someone? It's a holiday, don't people get together for those?

autism man. i love him.

Topher would be asleep. Hunter… probably also asleep, and they didn't really get along great. Ty… no way in hell. Marissa, Chance, Shadow, and Anne all hated his ass. He didn't really know Jam or Edgar.

Marissa would curse him out, but he probably would've at least been able to exchange some pleasantries with any of the other base members. he might genuinely be able to be friendly with Jam under the right circumstances. hm. im going to be thinking about that

Mikey answered on the third ring. "What is it, Ryan?" he said, sounding annoyed.

why did he answer. mikey. mikey why did you answer

"Hay, Mikey-boy, is for-" "You finish that sentence and I will personally issue a correction to get my past self to kill you before all this shit happened."

i love their dynamic i will die for their dynamic. i had the vision to have ryan make the hay is for horses joke and i immediately knew i Had to put it in. is it in character? probably not but fuck off

"Just... thanks for arguing in favor of Topher and I. When Base was trying to decide what to do with us, after that whole dome thing." "I didn't do it for you."

pictured: my vague attempt at hinting that there was some justification for everyone being alive and in the positions they were for this fic. there wasnt a justification, but what if there was...

J ū rmala, Latvia

i dont know why ao3 inserted that spacing around the ū and i also dont know why i didnt fix it. lets move on.

Inside was three small, printed photographs. One of Sly, one of Edgar, and one of Mike. It had been a long time since Michael had cried.

WHY DID I MAKE THE ENDING OF THE FIC SAD. AUGH. OUGH. also i think Mikes inclusion in this set of photos was the entire reason i put an implied mike/michael tag on this fic which is silly bc even for the canon belief that theyre just friends it makes perfect sense for his photo to be included. alloromantic moment of me i apologize.

anyway this was fun it was mostly just me ramblereacting to my own fic and not any actual insights but. it was still fun. sue me

[destineeallison]

Dream from 1/6/2024

I do not recall the events prior to this moment in my dream, but I know the location and setting very well as it's a recurring dream location for me.

It's partially a mall and partially an adventure park. There are rides in the mall, some water rides, and 2 roller coasters. One of the roller coasters shoots you past the harkins theater sign outside and feels like you're going a million miles an hour.  The water rides have an eeriness to them. They give you the same uneasy vibe the small world ride gives you at Disneyland, or the backroom videos on youtube.

Outside, on one half of the mall there is a vast parking lot. When you walk out of the other side it's a dirt road with fields on either side. On the left hand side is a fenced in field with bright football lights and farming equipment. On the right is just  grass and more dirt. The dirt road is long and at the end of it is another dirt road, you can either go left or right, but other than this road snd the mall when it gets dark outside you can't see anything except the mountains for miles.

I'm telling my sister about this guy I used to love on our way through the parking lot of this mall. It feels like the first time I've been back home in a long time and I am so excited to see everyone.

We walk into a few different stores but dont buy anything. At one point I send a text to this guy saying how much I missed him and wanted to hang out and see him.

Time is flying by, and in a matter of a few dreamy moments, we'd magically been at the mall for hours.  So, my sister and I decided we'd better finish walking the mall. We are singing something loudly as we walk out of a department store.

This man with 2 friends says hello to her and tells her she's beautiful. I take a quick glance and notice we've somehow become a line of 5 people walking through the mall, myself on the right of my sister, and everyone else on my left. She seemed okay talking to this man while we walked, so I just stayed looking at the ground playing a game with myself trying to get 2 steps in per large tile, 1 step per small. Step on a crack break your mother back is one of those ryhmes that i'll remember till I die.

I get bumped by someone on my right. I look up to my right, and there he is, the guy I was telling my sister about and had sent a text to. He'd been one of the other two people with this man my sister was talking to, I just didn't notice him at first. We stopped walking.

He gives me a giant hug as I tell him I'd just text him, how excited I was to see him, and that I'd really wanted to hang out with him while I was in town. His arms were still around me, and he replied, "I really want to hang out with you too!" He lets go so the 5 of us keep walking and talking.

We get to the food court area in the middle of the mall where people eat and children play. There are still mass amounts of people, but everything is starting to close, so they're all heading back towards the parking lot.

I notice this group of people coming toward us. As they're walking towards us, I notice the gates to the food court stalls all come down at once, and suddenly, I am face to face with this blonde girl. She asks me if we want to go out to the fields with them since the mall will be completely closed soon. 

I am unsure if I want to go, but my sister and the guy convince me we should.

Something feels wrong, but we make our way to the other end of the mall. It's very dark outside as we head toward the field. In my peripheral vision i see the light in the field is shining down on the farming equipment, but just as I glance over, the lights in the fields go out, and now there is almost complete darkness, with the only light coming from the moon.

I realize then that I am alone. My sister, the blonde, the guys we were with... everyone is gone. I walk towards the fields but grow scared as I don't see or hear anyone. I start running down the dirt road instead and make it to the end. My choice is to go left or right. The left is more darkness, the right is several more dirt roads.

I hear a faint scream from behind me in the fields and wake up.

I never told him I loved him.

[screechingkingdomhottub]

RATING DIFFERENT MENTAL HEALTH COUNSELLING SERVICES (UK)

Soo bit about me is im bisexual, trans, autistic, depressed and have had some Bad Coping Mechanisms so trigger warnings for sh, suicidal thoughts, alcoholism and addictions, anything else lemme know and i'll edit this. When I was a young boy, I realised bad things in my brain and after struggling finally got encouraged to reach out for help, here's how i'd rate my experiences. First though, regardless of any of these ratings you should seek help, because even if the help sucks which it might, you get a little boost in your brain that you're trying and it could be the difference between 1 day but that 1 day is special. I believe in you. As someone who has been struggling for 10 years now, it does get better but your struggle doesnt magically stop. So this is in no way me saying "all help sucks dont bother" but the exact opposite like always choose to seek for help.

First we have Mr Big Boi Jo AKA the samaritans, I have reached out to them so many times since I was like 13. The email feature is amazing like being able to sorta control when you are willing to not only send the message but also check the response is wonderful. I'd pour my heart and soul out and then be able to step away and recover from that vulnerability, be excited for when I'd get an email back, if I didn't feel like responding in that moment then I would not have to. But they have a tendency to sign post you quite easily like i've been sent to chris at lgbt , childline, some autism stuff that rubbed me the wrong way. It can feel kinda like you're getting dismissed and told to bugger off. "But that's not what they're doing!" oh right i forgot people in mental health crises should think more clearly, how dare i think they may have thinking issues and be sensitive in those times, ridiculous of me /s so I'm gonna rate them 6.5/10. This also probably depends on who you get. I'm gonna have to DQ chris@switchboard.lgbt because I genuinely forgot I had any interaction with them, they seem alright and I suppose if you're struggling with gender and sexuality they're worth a shot? I'm rather comfortable in my identity now so I don't want to take that resource away from people for any experiment like this. CHILDLINE - Not just that one phone number you call if your parents are abusive. Genuinely childline is so misrepresented due to what we classify as abuse like if you are under 18, you can go on childline and play games, have a live chat feature with counsellors, ask on message boards, view message boards or send as an email instead of the chat. You can choose! I think it would be amazing even for adults but once again, no stealing resources. "But I have DID and it's complicated cause my little needs help-" dude I'm not qualified for that, you probably know more than I do like don't put this on me. I cannot remember one negative experience with them. I just remember being scared and messaging people, OH AND THE NOTES YOU CAN ASK THEM TO READ NOTES SO THEY'RE CAUGHT UP ON STUFF EVEN IN LIVE CHAT. 9.5/10 would be a 10 if I was still a child but I'm unfortunately 23 so im bitter. It may have changed but now but I strongly encourage people to try it because I didn't want to because I thought it was only for kids being physically abused, it's also for like teenagers who are self harming. SHOUT - Oh Shout, you are the most 50/50 out of these. I genuinely use SHOUT more than samaritans now but it can go really bad. I message and am like "hello i wanna drink myself to death" but if i do that on like friday nights or something, the wait times are massively long and I've found some other way to soothe myself but when they are there they do talk very gently, they offer valid resources about things like as pdfs this time not just links to websites of people that can help. It's similar to counselling in person imo so it's about vibes sometimes. 8/10 or wait/10 damn those wait times KOKO - I'm glad it exists but haven't found much help from it personally. I do like that it sorta puts less stress on people that want to help social media accounts in crisis like that's a very important thing we didn't have when I first had the internet and it caused a lot of damage but in terms of the rating of how it helped 4/10.

GP - OMG GPs right? Anyone in the UK that's been to a GP for depression will immediately be thinking "oh right a WALK ADN SOME TEA RIGHT??" because that's always your first offer. Always. I should also mention I never went to CAMHs because of how my GP saw me, I went to a different centre for at risk youths in a different town in the most wonderful and bizarre therapy I've ever had but that place has shut down and there's absolutely no way other people have had that experience because whenever I say this stuff to people they may as be looking at me like I'm talking about narnia. GPs don't really seem to take you seriously until you're 18. But people don't seem to be really listening, your antidepressants aren't gonna stop your depression. They're going to fight it a little bit but you gotta do other stuff to get the endorphins and that's where the walks and exercise come in. People will bitch about theirs not working and they don't listen to what the GP says like "they keep upping my dose cause it isnt working!" then you find out that person has been drinking every other day which cancels those meds out. So with all that said, GPs are getting a 5/10. Some of mine were really helpful, some sucked, age is a big factor.

I hope you are able to use this info or even just now be more aware of all the help you can get in the new year. It's time to get happy again <3

[buzzingroyalty]

more under the cut for anyone who gives a shiz

first of all i really wanna just acknowledge the video trailer that comes with it- the only thing is has going for it are that the colors in the game are much more interesting that the film itself and the roblox avatars are pretty accurate to what you might see people playing in game. other than that we got 1. scary 2.uncanny 3. looks bad 4.why does it sound like that. idk for some reason the audio esp in the second half of their mashup is so tinny and makes my ears ring

(side note they really did spongebob dirty here) so immediately after i began the first npc given quest i was given this prompt- i skimmed through confusedly and was immediately alarmed with information about purchasing physical merchandise which i think has never been a thing you can do through roblox

the involvement of fandango obviously posed the question- can i buy movie tickets through roblox?? to which the answer is yes. yes in fact i can buy movie tickets through roblox which guarantees me a virtual broomstick. no idea if you can fly this thing or even take it to another roblox game. it is most likely just a piece of clothing

this appears upon walking up to this virtual ticket booth (not my zip code that was already there when the pop up appeared) and will find your nearest theater, then take you to a separate but in-app browser to pick your seats and purchase your tickets

now i dont know about you but i dont think any roblox game should prompt children to type their postal codes? god forbid they type it into the wrong box and end up posting them in the public chat?

speaking of the public chat- ive seen the original show but honestly did not remember the majority of the plot, let alone the name of the university the witches attend but i cannot lie i did have a little chuckle seeing these dialogue boxes. double the hilarity when you realize you cant even say the name of of the university in the chat as roblox immediately censors it

i invite everyone to enroll and Shiz yourselves

as for the gameplay itself its mostly doing collection quests, attending classes on a set schedule, and maybe learning spells? i managed to get a wand that farts out confetti before we got off track.

not to mention its a sensory nightmare because everyone is constantly playing with their wands and making fireworks and explosions and sparkles and throwing Potion That Makes You Green at you

all the npcs have two audio lines that they repeat over. and over. and over. one of arianas lines is absolutely incomprehensible and shes just kind of mumbling. i really dont know why they picked that to be one out of two

they gave me an F because i was too curious about the microtransactions and macrotransactions to go to class

all of this culminates into collecting emeralds to buy limited clothing items. i really hope i can save up enough to buy that fuck ass goat when it releases

for a game whos main allure is BUY OUR CLOTHES they sure overlooked their in game character editor

from what i can tell the available clothes have nothing to do with shiz and are just whatever is trending on roblox at the moment. and if youre already wearing layerable roblox clothes youre just about fucked- putting on too many layers results in amalgamations probably worth witch hunting

screenshots from @skencil-mcmooney thanks pookie im glad you got me breaking the game from a developing perspective there are things. wrong with it. from the fact putting on too many weird clothes allowed me to jump out of bounds and fall endlessly through space to the emotes widget taking a full minute to load and other shiz i havent fully explored because its not worth the strain it puts on my graphics card. and the worst part is no one even roleplays. if youve already got wicked fatigue before the movie is even out know that there are no bounds as to what universal is gonna put their money into to market this thing. i for one am so EXCITED to find out how boring the second movie is going to be (because theres gonna be TWO of them. did you guys know they go into the wizard of oz in act 2. because i didnt when i saw the show live. i thought defying gravity was the end of it. did you know theyre gonna make the wizard of oz again from a different pov. that's crazy) im going to bed

how do i contact justin mcelroy about the horrors of the official Wicked roblox roleplay game

[iwadori]

Haikyu boys when they make you insecure PT 1 (Kenma,Kuroo)

Part 1 Part 2  Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6.

Word Count:3k 

genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Kenma:

You and Kenma have been in a long distance relationship for a while.

Both of you stream, Kenma doing it seriously for his job and you just playing it for fun,

Sometimes you stream together of course but because of your difference in audiences and games you don’t do it all the time

“Bye guys! Hope you enjoyed todays stream” You wave off to the camera and shut off your PC taking a few sips of water.

Kenma: Hey.. nice stream today Y/N are you going to watch mine?

Y/N: Of course I will 

Kenma: Ok talk to you later

Y/N: okayy <3

Kenma is what inspired you to stream, he also taught you all the ins and outs of streaming making sure you were set and ready. Your gaming style was very relaxed and friendly as you obviously weren’t streaming as a career just for fun and to make friends with your online viewers. The games you played were usually: minecraft, COD, Sims 4, Roblox, Animal crossing and *Insert your favourite game here* the way I literally named all the games I play 

You wait for Kenmas stream to start, kind of excited as you’ve always loved seeing your boyfriend in his ‘element’ when it comes to playing to games. As your boyfriends stream starts you see he’s already chosen what game he is playing today which is to your surprise Call of duty, since that was the game you were playing earlier.

As he gets into the stream you are entertained, as always since Kenma was being his usual self laughing at his own deadpan jokes and interacting with his viewers. He is currently waiting for his capture the flag game to start so as he waits he decides to read some comments in the chat.

You’re used to the usual ‘Kenma where is Y/N I miss your usual streams together’ or ‘kenma please RAIL me’ which always makes you laugh. You were also used to the common hate comments Kenma and You both got on your streams but you were definitely not ready for this..

@ Ihatewomanandiamadick : Hey Kenma did you see your girls stream today she is so dog shit at COD lmaoooo jhdfkjdrhdrr

“Well hello ihatewomenandiamadick” started Kenma “but yes I did see Y/N stream and obviously she is not the best at games and I would definitely NOT ask her to team with me for any serious gaming competitions ... but she’s fun to watch I guess” as he finished speaking about you his game loaded up so he focused his attention on that the words he just spoke going to the back of his mind as they end up at the forefront of yours.

You obviously knew you were no match for Kenma’s gaming expertise but you didn’t expect him to publicly agree with a hate comment let alone add more of his imput on you. Did he really think that about you? ‘She’s fun to watch I guess’ did he not even enjoy your streams that much?

You wanted to distract yourself, and you definitely couldn’t do that watching him so you close off of his stream and get in your bed deciding to watch your favourite show. 

Waking up at 6pm after your sad nap, you see that Kenma has left some messages to you,

Kenma: hey did you watch my stream?

Kenma: do you want to facetime later and play some minecraft..?

Kenma: y/n r u ok??

Y/N: oh hey cnt play minecraft w you rn not really in the mood..

Kenma: oh ok..

Time passed since then a month to be exact and you basically dropped off of the face of the earth, you weren’t in the mood to do anything let alone game and stream, which was a constant reminder of your boyfriend (something you didn’t want at the time.) 

You felt embarrassed over all the things he said about you and all the things you now think he thinks about you and the way you play. Maybe he thinks even worse things about you, beyond just how you game? What if he doesn’t even genuinely like you...or he has someone else...it does make sense, you do both live miles and miles away from eachother AND he’s a big streamer you see the amount of girls in his comments.

You shake your head to erase your protruding thoughts coming in your mind, but it doesn’t really help. You and Kenma haven’t spoken much over this month he tried to constantly reach out to you at first but you assume he got bored over your constant, repetitive dry texts. So you were almost content with you and Kenma not even being in a relationship anymore.

However on Kenma’s side, he was beyond worried about you. Since you haven’t been streaming or barely responded to his texts he thought something happened to you, but he didn’t want to be seen as ‘overstepping boundaries’ if there was nothing wrong at all with you and you simply were just ‘not in the mood.’ 

So here he is, in Kuroo’s apartment trying to get him to help him out on finding out what is wrong with you.

“So kenma can you remember what happened the day when Y/N went ‘ghost’“ asked Kuroo in a mock detective voice

“Y/N didn’t go ‘ghost’ Kuro, and take this seriously” said Kenma “I’m worried bout her”

“Okay fine, but for real what’s the last thing you remember before she started acting all weird.” 

“Umm I think it was around a month ago I did my saturday stream and I think she was on it but she didn’t leave her usual nice comments throughout”

“Ohh that was the stream when you sai-” Kuroo said before pausing his words as the memory of what Kenma said about you on his stream came in his mind, as even Kuroo thought it was a tad bit harsh for Kenma to say all those things “I think I know why Y/N has been so distant kiddo”

“What why?” Asked Kenma

Kuroo pulls out his phone and brings up the clip off what Kenma said and Kenma’s face cringes ‘did he really say all those things about you’ he thinks. 

“Shit.. I didn’t know I said all of that” he said quietly “how do I make it up to her?”

“There’s only one thing you can really do Kenma” said kuroo

You are woken up out of your sleep by a knock on the door. Getting out your bed like a zombie, you trudge to your front door only surprised by what you see. There in his 5′6 glory stood your ‘boyfriend’ Kenma with a controller and a kitten teddy in his hand. You were very tempted to shut the door in his face and get back to your dreamless sleep but you waited on him to speak.

“Hi Y/N” he said quietly “wanna play some minecraft...?”

“Why so you can ridicule me on how shit I am?” You ask bitterly ready to shut the door on him

“No! No not all” he said stopping you from shutting the door entering your place “Y/N i’m really sorry on what I said, I wasn’t thinking AT ALL... I love watching your streams and I think you’re great at playing games...I was just being a dick,”

You take a deep breath before tears pool in your eyes “what you said really hurt me kenma..” you say “ I know people say shitty things on the internet all the time... it’s the internet. But I wasn’t expecting you to agree with the hater and say even more shitty things on top of that.. I don’t think I want to even stream anymore”

Upon hearing that, Kenma’s mouth parts open with shock ‘you dont want to stream anymore’ were his comments that bad? Now he feel even worse as he should and is now more determined to make things right. 

He impulsively drags your arm into your game room, catching your surprise ‘what is he up too?’ you think. He stops for a second seeing your usual pristine gaming set up, collected up with dust. 

“What are you do-” you start 

“Just wait!” He says, as he rushes away turning on all your stuff and logging onto his twitch account as he sees the views go up he starts to speak

 “Hi guys, its me kodzuken and today I’m here on stream with my beautiful girlfriend and today I want to say..” he turns to you “Y/N im so sorry for the horrible things I said to you that day... I was just being a dick and I’m sorry I really am.”

You look at the chat and you see some confusion and some people recalling his words from last month. “It’s fine Kenma, I forgive you” you say giving him a hug”

“Okay Y/N, so what do you say... wanna beat my ass at bed wars?” He says with a smirk 

“When have I ever loss?” you return his smirk

Of course you did beat his ass as bed wars for rounds on rounds never losing proving yourself to actually be a good gamer girl. You enjoyed your time with Kenma, forgetting what he said before about you and moving on. 

Eventually, you guys moved in together and streamed together all the time and yes you still do play for fun but you’ve gotten way better at COD (some may say better then Kenma) but who is better didn’t matter to any of you, as long as you got to play together that’s all you both cared about.

Kuroo:

Kuroo and you have been together since you were in your first year of high school 

You met as friends first when you got him to tutor you in chemistry ( a subject you still aren’t that good at.)

Now you have your upcoming entrance exams for university in a month so your school has you doing mock exams in preparation for them.

20%

You look down at your chemistry paper that your teacher just handed you. 20%. You’re surprised, very surprised since out of all your subjects (that you go 90+% on) you studied on the chemistry test the hardest ensuring Testurou, that you didn’t need his help at all. But I guess it turns out, you did.

This failing mock grade put a blunder on your day, you didn’t interact with anyone and didn’t want to see your boyfriend so you skipped your usual routine of meeting him on the rooftop and went to the library instead ‘might aswell start early on your studying’ you thought.

As you were going over your chemistry topics, you hear an ‘ahem’ next to you and you turn your head only to find your boyfriend and his friends next to you. Kuroo with his usual goofy smile on his face. 

“Hey kitten where were you at lunch?” he asked 

“Needed to go to the library, Chemistry is kicking my ass” you mumbled 

“Oya” he said as he noticed your chemistry test laying under your textbook “20%, well damn Y/N I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t know you were that stupid” he laughed doing his stupid usual hyena-like laugh.

Ouch well that hurt. You slightly flinched at his words, “Really your name, you didn’t know the molecular formula for ethanol, that’s first year work” he said continuing to laugh “I’m pretty sure that’s one of the first things I tutored you on when we first met” 

His overbearing laughter was not good for you, you were already having a bad day and yes you do know your not that good at chemistry but you didn’t need your chemistry-enthusiast boyfriend to make fun of you for failing. Kenma and Yaku stood there awkwardly obviously aware of how bad Kuroo is making you feel but they didn’t really know how to stop his friend in the moment.Whilst he’s still dying of laughter you decide to pack up your stuff and leave the library.

You managed to get your Chemistry tutor to let you retake your mock paper in a week so that means, extra hard studying with no distractions you definitely can’t fail again. Since studying on your own was definitely not a good option, and you couldn’t go to Kuroo (especially after he ridiculed you) you decided to ask the second smartest person you know to tutor you.

Y/N: Hey Yaku! Can I ask you a favour?

Yaku: Hi Y/N what do you need??

Y/N: I have my chemistry retake next week, and as you know from your loud-loud friend I failed my recent test so can you tutor me?? 

Y/N: Pleaseeee

Yaku: Ok Y/N why can’t you ask Kuroo you know that he’d be more than happy to help

Y/N: Yakuu pleasee just help me out 

So there you was, nearly a week done with your study sessions with Yaku and you’re feeling way more confident than before. 

“Y/N what is the functional group of a Carboxylic Acid” Yaku asked

“umm... COO?” 

“Great! that’s correct Y/N” he praises i dont actually know if it’s correct or not

You then hear a knock at Yaku’s front door and hear his mum let the person in, Kuroo then enters Yaku’s bedroom with shock plastered on his face surprised to see you here.

“Y/N...hey?” he says confused “what are you doing here?”

“Oh Mori-chan is just helping me with chemistry for my retake tommorow” you say nochalantly internally smiling at the twinge in Kuroo’s face at the purposeful use of Yaku’s first name.

“So why didn’t you ask me to help you know I’m a chemistry whiz” he asks

“Maybe I’m too stupid to be taught under your tutelage” you mumble “since I seem to forget whatever you teach me, even when it’s 3 years ago... but ok”

“Y/N I-” he starts 

“Oh save it Kuroo, I have studying to do” you say cutting him off

“But I-” he tries

“So Mori-chan COOH is the function group of ethyl ethonate right?” you ask ignoring your boyfriend who is now at a lost for words

“ummm yeah it is” says yaku who is clearly feeling heavily awkward at the tension in his bedroom.

Kuroo leaves and you and yaku finish off the studying for the night, you did feel a little bad for being a bit mean to Kuroo but it’s karma for him being a dick to you. 

You wake up the next day ready for your exam which was first thing in the morning, before you hand in your phone you see a message from Kuroo,

Kuroo: I know you’re still mad at me, but I think you’re going to do so well on this test. You’re not stupid at all, you’re really smart and I love you < 3 

Kuroo: Good luck Y/N

You don’t respond to the message but smile at the sincerity of it and thankful for the boost of confidence it gave you before you start your exam.

Finishing the exam with a smile, you were confident you did well as everything you and Yaku went over was on the paper and you’re almost certain you atleast got more than 75%. You have to wait an hour before your teacher can give you your results, so in the meantime you might aswell reconcile with Kuroo.

When you exit the classroom, standing there was Kuroo who seemed to have been waiting for you for the whole duration of the exam.

“So how was it?” Kuroo asked, apprenhensive as he assumed you would just ignore him like you did at Yaku’s house.

“It was fine, I think it went alright..” you say

“Kuroo”

“Y/N”

You say simultaneously, he pauses for a second to let you speak “I’m sorry I was being so stand offish when we were at Yaku’s I just wanted you to see I could do it on my own, and when you called me stupid I really took that to heart since you and I both know that Chemistry wasn’t ever my best subject” 

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad, and since it was only a practice test I didn’t think you’d take it to heart but I am sorry I know you aren’t stupid.”

Before you got to say anything else, your Chemistry teacher exited the room with your chemistry paper in hand. Kuroo grabbed your hand anticipating your nerves and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Miss L/N” said your teacher “Well done on your chemistry test” he turned your test around to sure a perfect 100%. Both you and Kuroo gasped, you were elated to say the least you wanted to jump up and down in excitement but a PERFECT 100%.

“I’d also like to add that you have now got the top chemistry score in the school beating the previous title holder Kuroo Testurou” said your teacher, this made Kuroo open his mouth even wider in surprise nearly making you giggle at his response. 

Your teacher took his leave, leaving you and Kuroo in the hallway “ I guess i’m the chemistry whizz now “ you say wiggling your eyebrows just as Kuroo did to you before at Yaku’s this made him chuckle as he came to put his arm around you.

“Y/N don’t get ahead of yourself now, you may have won this battle but I will win the war” he said smiling

In the final exam, you continue your winning streak also getting a near 100% and still beating Kuroo which didn’t matter to either of you, now you’re just like him cracking chemistry puns and jokes all the time which none of your friends appreciated but atleast Kuroo found them SODIUM funny.

AN: Please kill me for the last line of Kuroos, I didn’t really like Kuroo’s since it was a bit self indulgent with my hate for chemistry but what do you guys think?

[smolweeblets]

Rainy days

Luisa Madrigal x GN reader

A/n: here is fic i promised i actually didnt abandon it omg 😍😍. Okay but seriously im proud off this fic it turned out way better than expected, endings a lil eh but better than nothing hahshsah anyways ill shut up so you can enjoy.

-You first met Luisa when she was getting her door, she was about to get herself a snack when she saw you stuffing yourself with all kinds of food.

-She approached you carefully and tried to start a conversation, something about you made you approachable to her.

”Hey there-”

”Huh-?... O-oh hiya” you greeted sheepishly while wiping sk e crumbs off your face.

“Are you enjoying the party?”

“Yea, I am! You're Luisa right? The one who just got your power?”

“Yep, that's me” She beamed.

“Wow, I'd love to have your powers, I'd beat up all of the bad guys” you said enthusiastically.

“Woah, that's a cool idea, but i have the powers… so maybe you'll be my sidekick and we'll defeat all the bad guys together.”

You let out a gasp and nodded you head excitedly. “That would be so amazing, wanna do that now?” You had stars in your eyes from how excited you were, and you looked at Luisa expectantly.

“Hell yea! follow me we can go play in my room”

-After running over and practically begging your parents for permission, you went on your way and played the night away. This was the start of your blooming friendship.

-You both more or less grew up and did everything together. You frequently helping her with tasks, and her keeping you safe from whatever situation you found yourself in again.

-Luisa was the first one to catch feelings, she noticed them when you were around 13 and she was 12.

-It was a day where you wouldnt really expect rain, where the sun was out and shining one second and the next there's rain that seems to have materialized out of nowhere. So, early on that day Luisa was tasked with doing her jobs, as she usually is.

-The weather was nice and sunny when she went out, a perfect day to work. After a few hours it began to darken, Luisa just brushed it off, not keeping track of time and continued on with her work.

-A light drizzle started and she wasn't very near much shelter, a moment of scanning her environment and she bolts off to the nearest tree.

-It wasn't until she got to the tree that she saw you, also seeking shelter from the sudden drizzle.

-You were previously attempting to climb the tree, and you would have been successful if it weren't for the rain.

“Y/n?”

“Oh! Luisa hi!”

“What are you doing here?”

-You were slightly embarrassed to answer but Luisa was your best friend so you quickly brushed the thought off.

“Eheh, i was trying to climb this tree”

“Huh? Why? I never thought you liked doing stuff like these”

“Well… some boys were being mean and said I couldn't even climb a tree so i went to prove them wrong”

“That wasn't very nice of them, who were they? I'll be sure to teach them a lesson when I see them next time” Luisa was frowning and not happy at all that people were making fun of you.

“Eh it doesn't matter, i dont remember anyways, all that matters is that theyre wrong.” You let out a little “hmph” at the end.

“I would've been successful if it weren't for this rain too”

“Hehe you're right, but man i sure hope this rain doesn't last long, i have stuff to do”

-You look at Luisa, surprised shes still thinking about working in a condition like this. Rain pouring and the skies gray. You decide to ask her why she does all this for no kind of reward in return.

“Hey Luisa, why do you have to work so much-?”

-A moment of silence, or rather a moment of hearing nothing but the rain pattering on the ground.

“Well, I guess I do it for my family and for the town…”

“Don't you ever get tired of helping everyone?” You glance at her, a serious look on your face. “Like, most times i see you now you're doing some form of work, before it was just small tasks but now doesent it get tiring?”

“I-” “well, i suppose i does but if i dont then people will get mad at me”

“Oh man well, try to get them to understand because you get tired too and they need to understand that”

“It- AHH” A large boom of thunder interrupted her answer making her jump and cling on to you.

“Oh my god- Luisa are you okay?” You ask with worry in your voice. The poor girl tries to calm down for a moment, her heart still beating quickly but your voice soothens her temporarily.

-A few seconds of her just clinging to you and trying to gather herself.

“I-im good now, i think” She breathes out as she slowly loosens her grip.

“You scared me there,” You chuckle. “I never would've thought the big and strong Luisa would be scared of some thunder, especially considering your aunts gift”

-She blushes at your teasing, eyes furrowing but her mouth in a crooked smile.

“To be honest ive never really experienced her thunder up close, and when she does its no where as loud as this”

“Huh, I didn't know that '' You shrugged. “Also im not done with the our conversation earlier, you really should take a break someday”

-She sighs defeatedly and her shoulders drop slightly.

“Alright alright, ill ask abuela if i can take a break tomorrow”

-Your mouth curls into a smile, your cheeks lifting up and your eyes twinkle. “hehe good, lets use all that time to have fun” “i say lets go search for bugs, what do you think?”

-No response, but Luisa stares at you for a moment.

-Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was because sitting under a tree huddled together is romantic, or maybe for no reason at all, Luisa stops to think for a moment. To think about you, how much you care for her and all the little things that show it. Frequntly asking her to take breaks, always worrying and always looking out for her even though she was at least ten times stronger than you. It made her heart swell.

-She didn't know why, but she felt like if she was with you she could do anything. She felt like she was even more powerful when you werer by her side.

-Luisa notices only now the extent of your beauty, how your face effortlessly looks so bright and happy, your smile that never fails to make her feel better, the stunning way you wear your hair, the little actions you do when you're feeling a certain emotion. Her gaze on you right now was one of pure love, shes never experienced this feeling before and yet it feels so right, its like from the moment she was born, she was supposed to be doing this, right now with you.

-It hit her like a truck. She was in love, and madly at that. Oh lord she thought.

I'm not ready for this. I dont know how to confess- what is I mess up? what if they only see me as a friend??? what if-

“Hey Luisa, you good? I think you've been zoned out for like 3 minutes now” You checked in as you snapped your fingers at her face.

“O-oh, yeah i'm good i've just been… thinking.”

“Yea, you've been staring at me the entire time” “you got a crush on me or something?”

“Heh as if, only crush i know is me crushing you at racing”

“I'd totally win if you didn't have your gift” Your eyes rolled playfully and you had a grin on your face.

“Know what, i'll race you tomorrow if you've asked your abuela for a break and when the ground is dry”

“Oh you're on, prepare to be beat by the amazing Luisa Madrigal!” Luisa didnt care if you didn't reciprocate her feelings, for now she only cares about being your best friend, and that's more than enough for her. One day she might think of confessing but currently, the only thing she's worrying about is whether or not she'll go easy on you in your race.

A/n .2: if u enjoyed that my reqs are still open give some please 😭🤞

[minilpark]

“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.” G.I. Jane.

Hangman head canon - reader special forces? If he can have an exciting job, why can’t she?

alright forgive me for my limited knowledge on special forces, i didn't write specifics on it because i don't want it to be inaccurate but hangman gets the point

honestly you of all people shouldve known not get involved with men in the military

i mean hell you know how it is with your job yourself

away from home, basically living on whatever base you've been transferred to, making friends with your coworkers, only to eventually lose them on some mission...

life in special forces was tough and yet, you still stuck around

despite the hardships, you found it exciting and there's nothing better than actually enjoying your job right?

sometimes though, you wished that you could settle down with someone

but you believed it would happen in the distant future

oh how you were so wrong

you eventually found yourself stationed at a base in miramar for the time being

during downtime, a couple friends of yours dragged you down to a bar in the area because you need to "let loose and relax once in a while y/n"

the hard deck as it's called

as soon as you walked in you knew what would go down

apparently it's a popular bar for the navy as you could see most of the patrons in uniform

you and your friends ordered a couple drinks and sat at the bar just having random conversations

until one of your buddies nudged your shoulder and whispered "hey, cute guy at 4 o'clock has been eyeing you since you walked in"

you smirked a bit and took a swig of beer mumbling back about how you knew because you could feel the stare

you decided to play a little with him and look just over your shoulder to make eye contact

he raised an eyebrow at you and smirks back

eventually he makes his way over to you at the bar

"hey there, sweetheart. how bout i buy you a drink?"

you chuckle a little and look over at him "i dont even know your first name lieutenant seresin"

at this point he's intrigued

"name's jake, but people call me hangman"

and this is how it started

honestly you never really planned on falling for him, but after a couple hookups it was inevitable

eventually you explained the reason why you were there to him and he kinda took that as a shock

however, before you both could have an actual talk about your feelings for each other, you were assigned on a mission

you let jake know that you had to leave later that night, 0100 hours

despite you two not even dating, hangman lost his cool

"i don't know if i can do this anymore"

"do what jake?"

"don't play stupid, this, relationship we have with each other"

"woah seresin we arent even-"

"thats the point im trying to make y/n! i dont think i can handle the thought of waiting for you to come back or not before i can tell you how i feel!"

you just take a step back trying to process whats going on

"you know what, youre such a fucking hypocrite lieutenant."

before he can even open his mouth to respond, you cut him off

"how is it fair that you can go on whatever fucking mission youre assigned to and expect me to wait here for you worried if you'll even come back or not, but i can't do the same?! i love you but do you think its fair for you to have your dream fucking job and i can't?"

now he's at a loss of words

"if you can't handle my job, then yeah maybe we aren't right for each other."

as youre on your way out the door, jake wordlessly grabs your hand and pulls you into a tight hug

he whispers quietly about how hes sorry he made you feel this way but he cant stand to let you walk out of his life completely

"so where do that leave us then?"

"well, i guess that means you're stuck with me as i am with you. you did say you were in love with me, don't think i didn't notice"

you roll your eyes and point out "i recall you saying first you had feelings for me, seresin."

"aw just shut up-" and he seals the deal with the sweetest kiss

eventually things get more heated before you get ready to leave

and as youre walking out the door you glance behind you and jake is standing there

"i'll see you when i get back okay? love you"

and he smiles while watching you drive off to base whispering an "i love you too" back

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[ad-hawkeye]

Semi Fifty Shades of Artem Question: But how would you rewrite Artem's 2nd anniversary PV? What would you have liked to see? Where would you have wanted the story to go?

HI. TOLD YOU I WAS STEWING ON THIS ONE. oh goodness, this took some time!! i just wanted to say thank you; this was oddly healing to type out HAHA, so thank you for the patience!

hmmm, i think this answer would vary for most people, so i’ll just get self indulgent and ramble on about what i would have wanted ;p so my disclaimer: i am not a card writer, and these ideas are kinda disjointed, but i hope you enjoy regardless!

i think if i truly had things my way, the second anniversary card for artem wouldn’t be a proposal at all; it’d just be a celebration of their first anniversary together. and it’d be focused around a major life event. maybe they’d move in together. or maybe rosa finally passed her exam. possibilities are endless.

this is bc in general, i feel the boys’ stories all go at different paces, and forcing them all to propose at the same time felt really, really weird. luke proposing this early made a lot of sense. artem proposing this early made no sense at all. and so forth.

but, okay. fine. if we’re working within the confines of what all of the second anniversary cards had with the required proposal, then i can work with that too. so LET ME AT IT!!

part 1: so i’d keep celestine’s wedding. that was probably the one thing i really liked about artem’s card. they just went about it. uh. wrong. but what i’d do is like. artem and rosa are invited to celestine’s wedding. we get some fun banter and antics (and i kinda wanna hear artem and rosa’s speeches). then artem catches the bouquet celestine aims at him during the bouquet toss (card art one + two, would line up perfectly with the preexisting card art). rosa is a bit flustered, and mentions in narration that she and artem had been talking about their future, and they’d both be open to getting married, but they never got to finish the conversation or confirm it for sure.

ultimately it is celestine’s big day, but rosa can’t stop thinking about the idea of marriage in her life bc she’s, well, at a wedding.

part 2: the wedding eventually ends. rosa winds up going back to artem’s place. now i’m aware this is going to play out similarly to the end of personal story 4, but just bear with me bc i really liked their quiet talk from that. artem lets rosa stay over for the night bc its late and they’re both exhausted. however, due to the excitement, they can’t sleep, so they’re up talking in the kitchen or something. artem doesnt make coffee bc he knows it’ll keep them up even more, probably makes hot chocolate since that seems to be their non-coffee thing.

they wind up talking about celestine’s wedding and how nice it was and how happy they are for them, but they’re both thinking about the obvious question and not saying it. until rosa laughs and is like. funny you caught that bouquet, huh. and artem’s like i’m pretty sure celestine aimed that thing directly at me. they laugh. and rosa continues broaching the topic until they’re both finally forced to address the elephant in the room, something they were both too anxious to bring up out of fear of looking pushy. after a long and touching conversation im too lazy to write about, it ends in artem asking rosa if she’d be interested in marrying him. it’s not an official proposal, just a late night, mature conversation between the two confirming what they want in the future, inspired by the events of that day. 

rosa says yes she does want to marry him, and coyly asks if this was an official proposal. and artem sheepishly admits he doesnt have anything proper planned that night, starts getting stressed in his artem way when things dont go the way he planned, and says he would want to surprise her with a more put together proposal now that he got the go. 

rosa says she was just teasing and that sounds perfect. they share a kiss. and optionally, if hoyoverse was so insistent on the “did they bang” aspect of the cards, they could put that here. and artem and rosa better be awkward about it. this is MY version of the card!! im CANNING the daddy dom foreplay goddammit!

part 3: splitting things up this way since the cards seem to require the boys dressed up in a nice little suit in a nice location to propose for realsies. a bit of an unspecified time skip happens (hey some of the other boys had a time skip and artem deserves one too) bc im trying to fit in both agreeing to get married + planning the proposal + THE proposal, which is HARD so just hear me out HAHA. so i’m thinking artem would invite her to a private, special place for the two of them. like i know this was mentioned in another ask, but there was nothing special about their proposal? no special location, no special callbacks. it BUMMED me out.

so i’ve been thinking about cards. my first thought is cloudbreak temple and entwined fate. you know how private and quiet the end walkway and overlook were? yeah, there. i know they go back to the temple for the personal story card, so if that’s too similar, it could be something different too i guess? like mentioned a while back, he could have mentioned the movie “about time” or referred to the shouldering of their burdens, or ANYTHING that shows up fairly often in artem’s cards.

so back to the nice location. he acts like it’s just a typical visit, but rosa knows something is up bc he is 1. a nervous mess, 2. dressed VERY nicely like more nicely than usual, 3. kept avoiding her gaze out of embarrassment the past couple of weeks (wow! ONE other thing i kept from the second anniversary card!)

winds up proposing there. she gets to tease him a bit bc she could tell it was coming. the still shot of him proposing is kept. she cries bc holy shit this is actually happening, huh. then the final, official card art would be of the kiss after this.