#dont follow her method!

[veatomis]

Would it. Be too diabolical if i put lucanis in the tailored to elio version of the regret fade prison.

[barryhbo2018]

mypastasauce tastes so yummy. who knew the secret to making pasta sauce yummy was to add the seasonings to the meat as its browning instead of just. into the pot when the liquid is already in there *is stupid*

[thepolyamorouspolymath]

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=o0NlmZg9ahI&si=RfiMylcPKhQ0wPIW

This album gets me more than my last 6 therapists.

[pipsqueak-fluff]

Hi folks! I reccomend people check the notes on this one! I was suspicious when I saw the "source" and people in the notes also have commented on this being scaremongering. Essentially lead safe mama (the source from the photograph) has made up lead scares before with no evidence. Feel free to check your own plates, but don't implicitly trust things, especially scary things, you see online without testing. And I say this as someone who is downright paranoid about food safety.

[pathologicalreid]

Hello, love your writing, can i request a oneshot for spencer Reid x wife!reader with the plot of the movie taken where she goes on a business trip or something and she gets taken and the team have to work against the clock to get her back. Had this idea for so long and thought you would be perfect to write it. Perfectly fine if you dont but im craving this story.

leave a message after the beep | S.R.

When you go missing under suspicious circumstances on a business trip, the BAU goes to Texas - and ends up in the middle of something bigger than anticipated.

who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: angst content warnings: kidnapping, blood, guns, reader almost kills someone, hospitals, the securities and exchange commission, typical cm violence, texas, takes place maybe circa season 7 word count: 4.03k a/n: okay anon so like yes i can write this but also i've never seen the movie taken so really i took your request and made it my own! i hope you like it either way!

Tuesday, 2:17 p.m.

“Hey, Spence, it’s me. Shame I got your voicemail, but I just landed at Dallas Fort Worth and I’m waiting for my ride to take me to meet the regional officers. Not sure if you’re traveling, but uh, call me when you get this, I guess. Or when you can. Hopefully, this trip goes better than I think it’s going to… oh, I think my ride is here.”

Tuesday, 6:42 p.m.

“Hey babe, so, the first meeting went fine, they don’t seem very receptive, but people generally aren’t when I’m sent in to change their methods. Wish you’d pick up your phone. Anyway, I’m on my way to the hotel now, I’ll probably try you again before I go to bed. I know my updates are probably riveting.”

Tuesday, 8:09 p.m.

“Well, I’ve definitely stayed in nicer hotels than this one, but I guess I can’t complain about being put up for free. I’m probably just biased because the a/c unit is busted – oh, my room number is 316, I know you like to have it. I opened the windows to let air in but it’s so dry here that I’m not sure it’s helping any. I’ll shut them before I go to sleep, so don’t worry about that. Call me back, I miss you, don’t worry about waking me up. I think that’s all I’ve got, goodnight, I love you!”

There was a collective sigh in the roundtable room, five agents around the room all looked nervously at each other. No one wanted to be the first person to speak. No one wanted to be the first to propose a theory. “Where’s Spencer?” Emily asked, looking through the voicemail transcripts that were splayed out in front of her.

“In Hotch’s office, they’re talking,” Rossi said, eyeing the photo of you that was being projected up on the screen. Most of the time, Penelope just used driver’s license or passport photos in files, but for you, she had chosen a photo from the last BAU O’Keefe’s outing. Your skin was flushed and there was an odd shadow being cast on your face, but your smile was unmistakable.

The official files would have your driver’s license photo, but that picture was for the BAU. Seemingly unable to peel her eyes off of the screen, JJ asked the question that everyone was sitting on, “We’re on this case, right?”

It felt ridiculous, one of their own had gone missing in the middle of the night and they weren’t even sure if they had the jurisdiction to look into it. When no one answered, Morgan looked around the room, “The brass isn’t seriously going to try to tell us not to investigate.”

“No, they’re not,” Hotch said, suit jacket unbuttoned and fluttering behind him as he walked into the roundtable room with purpose. “We’ll debrief more on the plane, JJ and Garcia will stay here, the rest of us are headed to Dallas,” he instructed, nodding at everyone before turning around and walking out the door, the rest of the team following like ducks in a row.

On the jet, the traveling members of the team watched as Rossi held a cup of coffee out for Spencer to take, but the team's youngest member took a moment to even recognize that it was there, “Oh,” he mumbled, “thank you.” Blinking a haze from his eyes, he took the cup in his shaky hands.

A familiar concern flowed among Spencer’s teammates, they all watched as he twisted his wedding ring around his finger – a nervous habit that usually presented itself when he missed you. “Y/N’s boss is en route to Quantico to talk with JJ, the flight’s about three hours, we should get started,” Hotch was the one to speak up, herding the sheep in the correct direction while everything felt aimless.

With his legs tucked beneath himself, Spencer watched the team as they bounced back and forth in a discussion on what you were doing in Dallas and Penelope scoured through your recent communication.

“According to the voicemails and the hotel records, her room was on the third floor,” Emily spoke up, flipping through the file in front of her. “Do we have crime scene photos from the hotel room yet?”

On the video screen, Penelope shook her head, “CSI is still processing the scene, I have an inquiry in with them to send the photos as soon as they can.”

Checking his watch, Hotch looked over at Spencer, still sequestered on one side of the jet, “Make sure they keep the scene undisturbed for when we arrive. Dave and Morgan will meet with the sheriff at the hotel, and the rest of us will head to the precinct to set up.”

If Spencer wanted to be the one to investigate the crime scene, he didn’t protest his assignment, he just continued to spin that gold band on his finger. He didn’t notice the glances exchanged between the rest of his team; he could only think of you.

With the involvement of the BAU, the team had been redirected to the Dallas Field Office. “There was a hole torn in the window screen, the crime scene techs think that’s how they got inside,” Morgan announced to the team, they were all gathering in the conference room.

“On the third floor?” JJ questioned over video chat, she and Penelope sat right next to each other on the screen.

Rossi nodded, “We must be looking at a team. At least two, likely three UnSub’s in order to pull something like this off. They cut the camera feed and broke into the hotel room where she was staying – this was premeditated.”

It wasn’t difficult to deduce that being taken from the third floor of a hotel meant that you had been a target, but the evidence of a break-in settled like a boulder on Spencer’s chest. Someone had intended to take you. Someone had intended on grabbing you from your hotel room in the middle of the night – and they had succeeded.

“Is there any chance she forgot to close the windows when she went to sleep last night?” Emily looked over at Spencer, dark brows raised quizzically as she leaned over the table, skimming through the voicemail transcripts again.

Clenching his jaw, Spencer shook his head, recalling your promise to close the windows before the end of the night. “No, she’d never forget. She knows I worry,” although, after this, you’d never be able to chide him for worrying too much ever again. Sharing a knowing look with the brunette before him, “So, she’s been missing since last night, not this morning.”

The initial assumption had been that you’d disappeared at some point early in the morning, maybe on your way to your first meeting of the day, no one was entirely sure, but this confirmed that you had been missing for at least eight hours more than the first estimate.

A knock on the door garnered the attention of the team, each of them turning to see a field agent, “Uh, Ezra Buchmann is here to speak with you, he said he got a call from your tech girl.”

Hotch nodded succinctly, “That’s the co-worker who reported the case. Morgan, go see if he needs anything. Dave, let’s go check out the office building that Y/N had been working at.”

“Do you think she might’ve been caught up in something at work?” Spencer asked, following his team members with his eyes as they left the conference room.

The unit chief didn’t provide a forward answer, “I’d like to start checking off some possibilities. It’s been fourteen hours with no firm leads.” It wasn’t as optimistic as anyone had hoped, but Hotch shared a look with Emily before leaving the room.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Spencer turned to the evidence board, looking at the pictures of your hotel room, the water splashed around the rim of the bathroom sink, your phone charging on the bedside table, your wedding ring resting on the counter, and if he separated himself from the missing posters, he could almost convince himself that they were just random pictures. Almost.

Frowning at the blown-up images of partial fingerprints and a random CCTV shot from across the street, he recalled your voicemails. “I wasn’t busy,” he confessed to Emily. “When she called me, I wasn’t busy. I was doing other things, but I wasn’t too busy to answer the phone. I assumed that I’d have the chance to talk to her today,” he said, slightly leaning over the oak table, resting his fingerprints on the varnished surface in an attempt to keep himself standing.

Pursing her lips, Emily took a member for responding, “That’s not an outrageous assumption to make,” she tried to reason with a miserable man. “You’d never think something like this would happen.”

“Until it does,” Spencer continued. “We see it happen to people all the time, we’ve made a life of it, but I never thought it would happen to me. To her,” he maundered. If he had a dollar for every time he had heard the same sentiment from victim’s families, he’d never have to work another day in his life. “I did call her back when I got home last night,” he added, though, he wasn’t entirely sure who he was trying to reassure.

In an effort to comfort him, Emily reached out and patted his arm, “We will find her, Spencer.”

Dead or alive? He wanted to retort, but he bit his tongue, holding it in.

As a favor to him, in the hopes of providing him with some emotional respite, Emily had haggled with the field agent whose name was last on the chain of custody of your belongings. It wasn’t entirely proper for evidence to be released to family, but she offered to put her name on it in the interim.

She stayed with Spencer in the conference room, letting him keep your things nearby as she spoke with JJ and went through the information that had been acquired back at Quantico. The team now had your performance reviews at work and, according to JJ, your boss couldn’t say enough good things about you. While it was nice to hear, it didn’t bring them any closer to finding where you were.

Tracing the woodgrain of the table with his fingertips, Spencer eventually tuned the phone call out, instead wondering at what point he was obligated to call your parents. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice your phone was ringing in the evidence bag before him until Prentiss tapped him on the shoulder.

It was an unknown number, but that was a barrier easily blocked by Garcia with a quick search. The rest of the team watched as she blanched on the screen, “Uh, you might want to answer that.”

“Garcia, who is it?” Hotch asked, a hardened look on his face as he looked from the screen to the buzzing cellphone.

JJ frowned at Penelope’s monitor as if she couldn’t believe what she was reading, “It’s the SEC,” she responded.

Swiftly, Hotch answered the phone call, turning on speakerphone so the rest of the team could hear, “Hello.”

“Hello, may I speak with Mrs. Reid?” A male voice came through the receiver, everyone sharing the same wary look.

Focused on the phone call, Hotch shook his head, “This is Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, you can speak with me.” He said, elaborating on the situation and rendering the SEC investigator speechless.

Unable to listen to the conversation any longer, Spencer got up, minding his movements as he walked out of the conference room. He checked the map of the building that was posted on the wall before walking up the stairs, making his way up to the roof of the building.

The dry heat of Dallas was about as miserable as everyone made it out to be, but it was hard to ignore the way it reminded him of home. Maybe he could call his mom – speaking with her usually brought him some semblance of peace. Though, she might have a negative reaction to the situation he found himself in. On the hot rubber roofing, he kicked around piles of dirt before leaning against the ledge of the building, craning his head back and closing his eyes when he heard the rooftop door open.

“Look, I’m really not in the mood for any sort of discussion right now,” he complained, neglecting to spare a glance at whoever was disturbing his quiet – not exactly an Eden, but quiet.

He recognized Emily by the sound her boots made, even on the rubber that had been softened by the relentless sun, “I’d be more surprised if you were in the mood to talk.”

Impulsively, he rolled his eyes, “Did Hotch put you in charge of me?” He was glad his eyes were still shut, that way he couldn’t see the look on Emily’s face when he sniped at her.

“No,” she responded, gathering his attention as he brought his head down, squinting in the sunlight. “I thought you might want to know what just happened,” she nearly challenged, dark hair gleaming in the daylight.

Mentally kicking himself, he nodded for a moment, “You’re right, I just… I’m sorry.”

Taking a moment, Prentiss walked over, standing next to him, “I know.” She sighed, turning around and taking inventory of the surrounding buildings, “She was sent out here to look at some shady dealings of the company – insider trading, that kind of stuff. The main branch has an investigation open with the SEC, and they have been for the last few months. She was supposed to meet with that Ezra guy this morning to try and work something out. Hotch is talking to the CEO right now, he’s claiming he couldn’t tell JJ because it’s need-to-know,” Emily explained, focusing her eyes on the highway in the distance. “The SEC has an office in Fort Worth, they’re sending some people, and they faxed over all of the files.”

Setting his jaw, Spencer was the first to move to the stairs, the air conditioning providing an instant relief as he strode down the steps with Emily trailing close behind.

A field agent was standing in the middle of the office, stirring a cup of coffee, “Would someone really kidnap a woman over an SEC investigation?”

“We’ve seen much worse for much less,” Spencer mentioned in passing, swerving through the office of people until he made it back to the conference room. “Why would Y/N’s boss send her to investigate something that had already been brought to the SEC?” He posed the question to the rest of the team, taking one of the files that Morgan handed him and reading through the pages.

Rossi shrugged, nodding his head in the direction of the evidence board, “He wanted it handled quietly,” he posited. “Maybe he thought she could negotiate a solution and they could call off the securities investigation.”

Understanding where Spencer was going with his question, Hotch watched the board as if it was all coming together, “But, Y/N had no idea there was an open investigation. This was just another assignment to her.”

You had basically said as much in your voicemails, you went in, and you cleaned up fires across the country, and now you were caught in a blaze. “It was a setup,” Spencer concluded.

“And I know just who you need to talk to,” Garcia said over the phone, typing on her keyboard, “Check your phones.”

Ezra’s assistant folded immediately under the threat of being charged with interfering with a federal investigation. She had no knowledge of what her boss was up to, but she did know where the BAU could find him.

On the edge of the city, your company held an old office building that was slated for demolition. With the information from the assistant and some actions of questionable legality from Garcia, the team was able to nail down Ezra’s location and, hopefully, yours.

Letting SWAT lead the way, Spencer, Emily, and Morgan all made their way up yet another flight of stairs, hoping to be able to find you on the third floor. The SWAT commander signaled with his fingers to direct everyone in their respective directions.

There was a clang from across the floor and everyone froze in place, “Fuck you!” Your voice rang out, reverberating through the mostly empty office space. The yelp that followed would have sent Spencer clambering in your direction if it weren’t for Morgan grabbing his arm in warning. “I didn’t know,” you spoke again, your tone less obstinate as the misery you felt crept in.

Drawing their weapons, the team clung to the wall as SWAT gave orders over comms until the team came into view, lifting their firearms.

In retaliation, Ezra pulled you up, keeping a deadly tight grip on your upper arm as he kept you compliant by pressing the barrel of his gun to your temple. “She told me you’d come,” he said, nearly seething with rage like a rabid animal.

It seemed like a ridiculous moment to feel relief, but the fact that you knew the BAU would come for you ever so slightly lightened the weight on Spencer’s shoulders. However, whatever relief he felt was quickly banished from existence when his eyes met yours, you were covered in blood. It leaked in a steady stream from your nose and down your sleep shirt, he hoped that was the extent of the damage that had been done but based on the evidence of a struggle in the hotel room, he doubted it.

“Y/N, don’t look at him, look at us, look at Spencer,” Emily reasoned, noting the way you looked over at your captor, eyeing the gun in his hand.

You didn’t look scared, not to Spencer, though Emily had reasonably assumed that you would be in this situation. “Y/N, don’t,” Spencer said in a warning.

But his warning came too late, you had already swung your bound hands up, grabbing the weapon from Ezra as you kicked his legs out from under him. If Spencer hadn’t been so worried, he would’ve been impressed, but now he found himself in an entirely different situation.

“The safety’s still on,” you chastised as your now shaking hands undid the small latch, settling your pointer finger on the trigger as you stared him down.

SWAT seemed entirely dumbfounded, not sure how to go about the admittedly unique situation, so, it fell upon your husband to talk you down. Slowly, he holstered his weapon and stepped toward you, “Baby, put the gun down.”

You sucked in a harsh breath, “He set me up, Spence”

“I know, darling, I know,” Spencer said breathlessly, holding his hands out to stop any and all movement in the warehouse. “This isn’t the answer though, okay? You know this isn’t the answer.”

Your hands didn’t stop shaking, still bound together by the flex cuffs on your wrists as you narrowed your eyes at Ezra. “He set me up,” your voice broke at the sheer memory of the betrayal.

Distantly, you heard Derek tell people to lower their weapons, convincing the field agents that you weren’t a threat. “This isn’t you,” Spencer insisted.

Blinking as tears fell from your eyes, you gripped the handle of the gun, leaving your pointer finger hovering precariously on the trigger. This isn’t you. This isn’t the answer. This isn’t you. This isn’t the answer.

Swallowing thickly, you looked down at Ezra, who was taunting you, trying to get you to pull the trigger. You fought against yourself, trying not to stare at Spencer because you knew as soon as you met his brown eyes, the choice would be made for you.

“Pull the damn trigger,” Ezra jeered, baring his teeth at you. This was it; this was the end. The FBI had the whole building surrounded. Even if he tried to run, the BAU would follow him, they’d chase him down, and they’d kill him themselves if it came down to it.

Slowly, you moved your thumb, re-engaging the safety before you lowered your arms, handing the gun off to Spencer. As he grabbed the barrel of the gun with one hand, he pulled you in with the other, passing the gun off to Emily so he could hug you tightly.

He pulled away for a moment, retrieving a pocketknife and using it to cut the flex cuffs from your wrists, letting the stiff plastic fall to the ground, and catching you when you practically threw your arms around him.

Your legs gave out from under you, and Spencer wondered how long you had been in this sweltering building without water, likely having used the last of your strength to stop Ezra. “Shh,” he hushed gently, “Let’s sit down,” he spoke to only you as he guided you to the ground.

Closer to you now, he saw more of the damage that had been done, the glazed look over your eyes, your chapped lips, and a bruise on the side of your head. “I knew you’d come,” you murmured dazedly, swaying ever so slightly, “I told him you’d come.”

“I know, I know,” Spencer reassured you, listening to the buzzing of people, hopefully EMTs, around you.

A hiccupping sob almost broke his heart, but he just kept his hold on you, keeping you upright and wishing your nosebleed would clot. “I almost killed him,” you mumbled.

But you didn’t, he wanted to respond. Part of him felt like it would’ve been fine if you had. You’d have gotten away with it, even, but he knew firsthand what it felt like to take another life. He wanted to believe that he had played a part in you turning the safety back on, but even he wasn’t sure.

“How are you feeling? Better?” Spencer asked, sitting on the edge of your hospital bed and taking your hand in his.

He squeezed your hand gently, allowing you to admire the way your wedding ring looked now that it had been returned to its rightful home. “Much,” you assured him, keeping your head resting on the mountain of pillows behind you. You had been cleaned up, stitches on your forehead, and a bandaged cut on your thigh, but the main concern was your dehydration. An IV delivered fluids to you while you sipped on a cup of water, waiting for your stomach to settle enough for you to eat something.

Spencer raised his eyebrows, reaching out and sweeping a strand of hair behind your ear, “Good enough to try something for dinner?”

You nodded apprehensively, “Something light?”

The smile that sprouted on his face was enough to convince you to eat. He offered to go talk to your nurse, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead before he left the room, leaving the door open so you could see him in the hallway.

A small chime got your attention, looking around for the source of the noise, you found yourself digging through Spencer’s bag, retrieving your cell phone from the leather satchel.

There was a scratch over the screen, but it still worked just fine following your skirmish in the hotel, you opened the phone to find that you had a voicemail. You tapped the message before bringing the phone to your ear.

Tuesday, 10:23 p.m.

“Hey love, I’m just leaving the office now. I’m sure they’ll be more receptive to you as you talk more, you can be very convincing. The weather is very dry in Texas, make sure you keep hydrated, okay? I’m sorry I didn’t answer any of your calls, we’ve been trying to prepare all of this paperwork for Strauss and time just got away from us. I miss you, maybe when you get home, we could talk about taking a trip. We could go see my mom. It’s been a while. Hm… I have to admit, I’m a little bummed you didn’t answer the phone, but I’m glad you’re getting sleep. I love you so much, sleep well.”

[konniesreality]

THE VOID STATE IS EASY AND YALL OVER COMPLICATE IT FOR NOTHING!!

YES GUYS!! I WISH YOU GUYS WOULD UNDERSTAND!! WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THIS WHOLE TIME!! JUST WHEN YOU ARE DOING VOID STATE JUST LET YOUR THOUGHTS PASS NATURALLY AND DONT FORCE ANYTHING JUST FREAKING RELAX!! ALOT OF PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THIS HENCE WHY THERE ARE A BUNCH OF SUCCESS STORIES!! YOU DONT NEED SUBLIMINALS OR METHODS JUST RELAX PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN IN THE VOID DOING JUST THAT!

Seriously! Just relax and don’t let your thoughts get to you!! Literally just relax and let your thoughts pass and do deep breathing if you want! And boom!! People that don’t even know what the void is have gotten into it just by doing this!! Neville Goddard literally TOLD US this is how to enter the I AM state!

If you do want methods, I recommend you to the distraction method by @luckykiwiii101 or the wim hof pink breath method by rima shifting on TikTok and @voidprincessblog there were so many success stories with these both! And use my dream life subliminal or my void state subliminal or even both! And say askfirmations like “why do I always get into the void”

Just relax focus on black behind your eyes let thoughts pass and don’t focus on the dang thoughts just let them pass omg! don’t focus on your body or symptoms like just relax that’s the WHOLE POINT OF MEDITATION! then once you feel relaxed floaty and her nothing and are in a black space (or whatever your void looks like!) just affirm for your dream life or whatever you want and BOOM! and here’s a tip! If you have annoying negative thoughts, assume that your negative thoughts will get you closer to your goal! That’s why I have success with my subliminals because I did just that with my subliminals! I put affirmations that will make you manifest/void state no matter what!

Just please understand the void state is easy! It’s the delta state!! We get in every single freaking night we aren’t aware of it!! But we always enter wether you like it or not!

You guys always be like: “why haven’t I entered the void!” The whole point of law of assumption is to assume and KNOW ITS EASY! BUT YOU DONT EVEN REALLY HAVE TO ASSUME BECAUSE THE VOID STATE IS GENUINELY EASY IN ITSELF!

A tip from @graychrissy and what I also have said is to ignore your thoughts and just let them pass! Pretend you’re observing someone else’s thoughts but they aren’t you! It’s not hard at all!! That’s how that one anon entered the void state and manifested something! Because they just went with the flow!!

It’s just like having a job! Yes, you’re there for money but at the same time, you’re just letting the money follow! And then when you get your paycheck you are like “dang I didn’t know I had this much!” Just go with the flow and let go! We have been saying this countless of times even NEVILLE has been saying that!!

Personally I think that the wim hof pink breath method, yoga nidra, the distraction method and the normal way of entering the void are the most effective!

And if you get into the void state and you realize that you’re scared to manifest your dream life, just say “I always enter the void state instantly no matter what” and then you can get into the void state instantly no matter what! So then you can prepare yourself!

It’s easy!! Omg I’m seeing alot of success stories because people are realizing this!! So please, please PLEASE just listen to me and us!!

💗

[yourlocalsaiko]

OK, I am back to writing character analysis which I usually only do when a mischaracterization of one of my favorite characters is pissing me off and today’s mischaracterized character is Rio Vidal. Specifically Rio and Agatha’s relationship.

People who characterize Rio as the bottom or even the bratty bottom are just wrong, I’m sorry (im not).

But you’re telling me Agatha the same woman who at the end of episode one was begging on her knees for Rio to spare her.

Then dont even get me started on this scene

I dont know if she was expecting Rio to put her finger in her mouth or what but that was subby as hell.

the same woman who later in episode two had the brattiest lip bite followed by “Wha—“ combo I’ve ever seen in my life. (Unfortunately i couldn’t find the Gif)

How Rio calls Agatha on her shit then tells her to sit and Agatha sits almost immediately.

THE FACT THAT AGATHA CAN BARELY HOLD EYE CONTACT

AND THEN THERES RIO

WHO LITERALLY WONT STOP LOOKING AT HER LIKE SHE WANTS TO TAKE HER RIGHT THERE AND THEN.

Agatha’s entire method of gaining power is literally bratting until shes punished. FIGHTING IS LIKE FOREPLAY TO THEM. GUESS WHOS GETTING FUCKED UP THE MOST????

And with that i rest my case.

Listen i understand some of you want Dommy Mommy Agatha but at least with Rio she aint that- Write whatever you want obviously but shit i wish id see more Top Rio content (because its true).

Edit: I am personally team switches but yall also cannot deny the facts here

[shewritesforpoc]

bartender||han jisung x you||mdni

pairings: bartender!jisung x fempoc!reader

synopsis: you go to the same bar every night, served by the same bartender, you get jelly of another lady but little did you know that bartender man was only for you.

warnings: s m u t, strangers to lovers au, slowish burn, unprotected sex , mentions of drinking, use of petnames, slight orgasm denial(m and f), slight jealousy, slight angst, multiple orgasm (f), oral (m and f), pull out method, mention of masturbation, ji has a small obsession with u, lmk if i missed anything.

a/n: this is heavily influenced by the song “dream of you” by chungha. so i would recommend listening while reading! also thanks for all the likes and follows! enjoy ;) lowercase intended

story under the cut :)

ever since your break up with your ex, you havent failed to hit up the same bar everyday after work. the sweet, fruity and spicy alcoholic taste of whiskey seems to blow the stress of life right off your shoulders, it makes you forget about deadlines, the weight of your heart break, the weight of life. it makes you feel light, it relaxes you.

today was no different. you go to the same bar and order your drink. the bartender hands you the drink and makes the usual small talk. bless him, he can tell that life has been crushing you lately. “rough day?” he asks. “yeah man, life has gone to shit for me.” you replied. “‘m sorry about that honey, but let me know if you need a refill, just dont drink too much.” he said as he winked and walked away.

maybe its the liquor or maybe you didnt notice before, but ‘damn’ you think ‘hes so fucking fine.’ all the times youve come here, he serves you, but you never asked him for his name. you didnt wanna come off as a creep or anything, youre sure many people have asked him for his name. for some reason, he doesnt wear a nametag. fuck it, “excuse me bartender.” you said suddenly. he wasnt too far away from you, just a couple customers away. he motions you to wait while he finishes with a customer.

“hi, did you want a refill?” he asked. “uh…no…um…dont take this the wrong way..but youve been serving me for a while and i never got a name.” you said. he looked at you and smiled. “how rude of me. my name is jisung!” he said and extended his arm for a handshake. “oh no i shouldve asked you. but im [reader], nice to meet you!” you said as you shook his hand profusely. he stood there for a minute, looking at you. you were looking at him. truly taking in his features. the way his glasses sat on his beautifully sculpted face. the way his uniform sorta hugged his slim figure, he was actually breathtaking.

you wouldnt be surprised if he had a girlfriend. you would be surprised if he didnt. “excuse me bartender.” a lady called. you didnt even notice you were holding his hand at that point until he smiled, briefly squeezed your hand and walked away. his hands were soft. you followed him with your eyes, you seen the lady who called for him. she wasnt all that cute. her hair was nice and neat, her outfit was formal and classy, she looked like the business class.

she was looking at him with eyes full of lust, she was flirting with him. you could tell she was really flustering him because you could hear his small giggling. she looked over at you and smirked. the hell is wrong with her? what is she trying to prove? why are you getting upset about it? jisung isnt yours, and he for damn sure isnt hers either. before you could even get to that point, you asked him to close your tab and you left.

you sat in your car for a second to be sure you werent too fucked up to drive, you took a deep breathe and looked out the window. tonight was beautiful. lightly raining, and chilly. your mind started to drift back to the moment you learned his name. his voice kept traveling in your mind. it brought a small smile to your face, it warmed your heart a little. just then, you seen the same woman walk out, jisung following behind her, he gets into her car and they leave.

“the fuck?” you said in utter disbelief. you decided not to think too much of it and went home.

the next evening, youre back at the bar. same bartender, same everything. “[reader] the usual?” said jisung. you nodded and he got your drink ready. “you doing alright?” he asked. you nodded your head once more. he looked at you confused, you normally talk to him. you always talk to him, whats with the cold shoulder? he set your drink down, and you took it. everything that happened last night, the small anger you felt, it all came rushing back. and instead of taking your small sips, you down the whole thing. slamming the cup back down and catching some peoples attention. it caught the attention of jisung.

now he knew something was up. “[reader] you are not okay. whats going on with you?” jisung said with concern lacing his voice. “i am fucking fine. aint shit wrong with me. now another one please.” you said. youre also slightly tipsy. he looks more concerned now but still gives you another one. it felt like life was still crumbling down on you. so to numb it, you downed one shot, two shots, four shots, “thats enough [reader], i legally cannot serve you anymore drinks.” jisung said. “bullshit, this is bullshit. im fucking—outta here.” you said. you start getting hiccups now, you were also totally drunk.

“ill call a cab for you. your car will be here in the morning.” jisung said. “dont fuckin act like you care ab—about me. ji—jisung.” you said drunkenly. he looked at you with slight heartbreak. he does care about you. youre the reason why he works every night. he loves looking at you, admiring you. the day you unknowingly held his hand, he went home and masturbated with the same hand. “[reader], ill take you home instead. does anyone live with you that can make sure okay and also can pick your car up tonight?” he said. hes not supposed to take you home. he could lose his job over it. but he will do anything just to be close to you. “n—no” you hiccuped.

he sat you down in an isolated booth and finished the night. he served a few more people and then closed up shop. while he was doing this, you fell asleep. though he didnt wanna wake you, he had to at least get you standing up so he can help you walk to his car. “[reader]…..[reader]” he said while gently shaking you awake. you looked around to see the bar is empty. you looked at him with confusion. “hey, its time for me to take you home.” he said and smiled. you nodded as you rubbed your eyes and got up to walk. since you were still under the influence, you had some difficulty walking on your own. luckily jisung was next to you and ready to help you walk.

he helped you in his car, strapped you in, and began driving you home. “jisung.” you spoke. “yes [reader]?” he replied. “why are you doing this?” you said softly. “because i care about you. i care about your safety.” he said. sure it was the truth but it wasnt the whole truth. “if you cared, why did you go off with that ugly ass lady?” you asked. he grinned a bit. “she took me to her house, we made out but i told her i wasn’t interested in her. i told her i had my eyes on someone else.” he said. you went from being slumped over looking out the window to now sitting up and looking at him. “you did? what happened after that?” you asked invested. “she brought me back to the bar, i got in my own car and left.” he replied.

you eventually arrived at your home and he helped you in and helped you get settled. “ji?” you called. he looked at you. “can you stay the night with me? i dont want to be alone. i wanna be with you.” you said. he smiled softly and nodded. you both got into your bed and laid there. both of you are awake, both are scared to say something. “[reader], remember when i said that i told the lady i was interested in someone else?” he spoke. “yeah.” you answered. “well, ever since you came into the bar, ive been interested in you. i was too scared to introduce myself. after i learned that you were going through a break up, i tried to suppress my feelings and make sure i was there for you. im trying to say that i want you. i know you want me as well.” he said as he looked at you.

his words made you smile, “i do, want you.” you said as you looked at him and snuggled closer. he leaned a bit closer to your face, his breath fanning your face. you were the one who closed the gap and kissed him. it was one peck, then he came back and started to kiss you passionately. you climbed on top of him, not breaking the kiss. as the room started to get hot, you started to take off your shirt. him taking off his shirt revealing his slim but muscular body. jisung reached up and unclasped your bra straps. your bra fell down your body showing off your beautiful tits. he looked in awe.

he looked you in the eyes before taking one of your nipples and sucking on it. the other nipped was being teased by this free hand. you started to grind yourself on him to relieve some of the pressure. he groaned a bit as youre right on top of his cock. you threw your head back as he swirled his tongue over your sensitive nipple. he also started to rock his hips upwards to meet your pussy halfway. this causing both of you to moan softly. “i cant wait anymore ji.” you said needily. “okay baby, let me take care of you.” he said softly.

you climbed off him and laid on your back, jisung taking off your pants and then getting up to take off his. he laid down between your legs. “wow, so wet. and your pussy is so pretty. just like you baby girl.” he said as he looked up at you. it made you blush and subconsciously close your legs, but he caught them in time. he leaned in and licked it. a small teasing lick. you whined as you grew needier and needier for him. he heard your whines and stopped teasing. he began to really savor you by sucking on your clit. then dipping his tongue in and out of your hole. you moaned loudly as hes doing this to you. “that feel good?” he asked. “mmhm~” you replied not really able to say anything.

you started to rock you hips against his mouth and he started licking faster. you grabbed his hair and pushed his head into you for more. he giggled softly at this, the vibrations of it causing you to feel closer to your climax. “just like that—ah! just like that~” you screamed softly. he cooed into you again sending vibrations to your clit. you felt your high approaching quickly. as if his mouth wasnt enough, he took two fingers and fingered you quickly. this making your high wash over you. with a loud “fuck!~” you came hard.

your legs were shaking slightly from how intense it was. you sat up and kissed him deeply. tasting yourself made you moan. you pulled back. “your turn.” you smirked. he laid down and you sat between his legs. his fully erect dick was leaking some pre. you licked a fat stripe from the bottom of his dick to his pretty tip. he hissed at the sensation. you did that two or three times before you took his tip and started to suck on it. “oh goodness—oh go—that feels nice.” he whimpered. you smiled as you took his length all the way down. it took him by surprise and he subconsciously bucked his hips upwards. whatever didnt fit in your mouth, you took your hand and jerked it.

you bobbed your head and jerked him quickly, then slowly to tease. you kept that same pattern for about 5 minutes before he says “shit—baby..im gonna..’m cumming~”. you stopped before he could, he looked at you in amusement. “youre gonna regret that honey.” he chuckled. he flipped you over so you were on your back. he lined himself with you. “is this okay? we dont have to move on if you dont want to.” he said.

“im sure, i want this, i want you.” you moaned slightly. no more words were said as he slid himself into you. he was a couple inches bigger than your ex but he was definitely wider. the stretch making your toes curl. “oh my god baby, youre tight. its feels so good princess.” he moaned as he bottomed out. he stroked himself slowly in, slowly out. it was making your eyes roll back. you gripped his arm “faster, please ji. i need it…i need—it!” you moaned loudly as he sped up like you asked. he was knocking the wind from your lungs, it felt so good!

“i know you need it, you like how it feels? hm? you like how i fuck you?” he whispered in your ear. he reached his hand down and rubbed your clit. this made you closer quickly. “yes! yesyesyes—fuck im cumming!” you nearly screamed. he pulled out quickly and let you calm down. you frowned and whined. “told you, you’d regret not letting me cum.” he said. he turned you on your knees so you were in doggy position. he stroked himself a couple times before pushing himself back into you. jisung threw his head back and he rocked himself into you. he gripped your hips as he dragged you on and off his cock.

from this angle, you felt your climax about to hit again. maybe even harder than before. by this time, jisung was also close. his hips starting to lose rhythm and became sloppier by the seconds. “fuck [reader], youre gonna make me fuckin—cum!” he whined. you were so close to yours that you barely understood what he was saying. after a couple more hard thrusts of his hips, you were screaming and crying slightly as your orgasm hit you like a bus. he fucked you through your high. shortly after you he pulled out and started to stroke himself. “oh my god—im cumming…im cu—m’ gonna—fuck!” he moaned as he finished on your back.

after you both calmed down and cleaned up, he kissed you on the lips again. “im all yours baby, im all for you.” he said. you smiled as you let yourself drift back to sleep.

fin!

©️shewritesforpoc on tumblr !!

[roseworth]

what direction do you think they should have gone in with jason? as in where should he be now in terms of people and what he's doing

i think winick had it exactly right green arrow #69-72 and batman & robin #23-25. he was a villain but he had a Method and a Purpose. and usually that purpose was just to fuck with batman. i loooove it when hes a villain and hes very clearly doing bad things, but hes not just indiscriminately killing people. hes doing it for a reason, hes still doing the same thing he was doing in utrh by controlling the drug trade, and even when hes doing the right thing hes being an asshole about it

i especially love the ga issues because jason doesnt even talk to batman but bruce KNOWS what hes doing and he knows its about him. i love the bruce & jason post-utrh dynamic where they've both pretty much said everything they have to say and neither of them is changing their position, so now jason is just starting fires to get attention. "ok bruce you dont want to talk to me? thats fine. ill just follow you to star city then psychologically torture a teenage girl then blow her up in front of you" icon! i forgive him! i think its so fun when red hood is a member of batman's rogues gallery and bruce feels bad every time he fights him but also he kinda cant stand him since he knows jason is only doing it to mess with him and its working. but also jason is a Greater Good person so he DOES end up working with the bats sometimes just because theyre also working on the good side

anyways the ideal bruce & jason dynamic to me is "the love was there and it made everything so much worse" because jason is doing everything for bruces attention because he loves him and wants him to care about him but hes not willing to budge on his own morals and neither is bruce. and bruce loves jason so he doesnt want to arrest him or put him in danger but also hes killing people and doing terrible things and bruce is batman so he feels obligated to. yk. stop him. and as much as they both love each other they do not like each other at all

in my mind jason doesnt really care about any of the other bats besides dick & babs just because he knew them before he died so hes willing to hang out with them but they Do Not want to see him. like in brothers in blood when jason goes hiiiii dick <3 lets hang out <3333 and dick is constantly suppressing the cain instinct. he never really talks to babs pre52 i think theyre interactions would be very similar in that jason goes hey babs ur so cool <33 and she says jason get the fuck away from me or im activating the bomb in your helmet <3

but also with steph even though he didnt know her pre-death,, i think he would like her. i can imagine him doing something very similar to what he did with mia, basically finding her and going "quit your vigilante career. join my emo band" but i think she would end up being a lot more receptive to it than mia was ! like im thinking batgirl 2009 era steph so she would not be on board with the idea of joining him since things were going well with team batgirl, but i also think that any interaction between the two of them in that era would go well and end with them getting along :)

as for everyone else. i dont think he would care about any of them. theyre just kinda collateral damage in his war with bruce. like he gets involved with them sometimes just because of their proximity to bruce, or like i said earlier that he works with them sometimes because he cares about the greater good so is willing to help them when necessary. also honorable mention to aoifa's headcanon that jason doesnt actually know tims name because he just does not care. thats canon to me

so yeah in conclusion: he should be a morally grey villain that does what he does either for the greater good, or to fuck with batman, or both. and he has complicated relationships with all of them bc he likes bruce dick and babs but also kinda hates all of them and they like but also hate him too. and the rest of them he doesn't really give a shit about

[gorgeouslypink]

I AM SURE × SATS Challenge

Hey guys! A lot of anons have been asking for a method/challenge to enter the void and so I just wanted to release this challenge. This challenge can be used for any desire, but since this is a void blog, I'm going to assume your desire is to enter the void. This challenge is so so so easy and I feel like this is really going to help a lot of people so let's get into it.

What is the I Am Sure method?

I think** that is the original creator so I am just going to insert her video of her explaining it:

What is SATS?

Ive been talking about SATS for quite a while now so I dont think I need to go in depth. Here is one of my favorite posts on understanding what SATS is and here is my indepth explanation as to why I recommend SATS so much. Also, here are some of the success stories I've received from some of my followers.

The Challenge:

Every morning, as soon as you wake up, either say or write or think "I am sure that I will wake up in the void state aware tonight." Anytime you think of the void or your unfavorable 3d, repeat that affirmation to yourself. As you go to sleep, do SATS and imagine a scene that implies that you woke up in the void state aware and really feel it. Keep imagining this scene on repeat until you fall asleep. Persist in this challenge and tell me your success story! That's all 💗

[velvetvexations]

Saw your tags on that binder post and I thought I’d share that my first introduction to chest binding was actually through the lolita community! A lot of big name japanese brands are not exactly size inclusive and did NOT cater to anyone with more than an A cup, so I did see quite a lot of safe binding advice and methods on blogs and forums back in the day before more inclusive brands became available, ranging from sports bra to actual proper binders. I’m probably not the only example of the “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress” to “binding to fit into an angelic pretty dress and gender reasons)” pipeline, but plenty of other lolitas I know are still cis women who just do it on occasion or for specific pieces that aren’t very forgiving on the tits! I doubt that a single niche fashion subculture is the reason for those binders being marketed towards cis women so heavily, but I thought this was a funny anecdote :)

Fascinating!

patricia taxxon shit really fucking hurts. i dont want to be effected by a random internet microcelebrity not liking transdudes, that happens often enough. but god her music and essays got me through really rough shit and it really hurts to see someone i looked up to for well written essays and work fall back on the bullshit arguments used to deny my lived experiences. it really really fucking hurts, especially with how it feels barely anyone will talk about or call it out. i thought trfs were something id have to look hard for, and seeing their rhetoric creep into the fucking music i listen to and tumblrs i follow really truly scares me

I'm sorry, anon. I love you a lot. <3

“You shouldn’t break up the trans community into groups!” The TRFs literally came up with a way to break up the community via TMA/TME. They are actively distancing themselves from the community by baking fearmongering into their ideology. God forbid we create a term about sticking together against a group within the community that’s inherently dividing?

lmao literally

Just had my first time getting sexually harassed by a woman as a percieved cis man and commiserating afterwards with a cis man about how we're all just supposed to be cool with being treated like that. It's a weird experience and somehow going through the same things mostly from women as a girl then nonbinary then a trans guy it feels the same but the flavors change. I know the discourse is literally nothing but it makes me feel like my feelings shouldn't matter because of the male privilege. And I even did my civic duty and took the brunt of it away from the other trans man who was getting it worse because of his percieved feminine traits which people also like to pretend doesn't happen. All of it is just stupid.

It's fine, she was a woman and you're a man so that was praxis sexual harassment.

honestly i think a better predictor of how much autonomy a child is able to have over their presentation is probably whether the child is disabled moreso than agab, like i not only wasn't allowed to have my hair too short, i also wasn't allowed to have it too long for a chunk of my childhood because it took me awhile to understand how to brush my hair (because i was afraid to because i am hypersensitive to touch and my mother would always brush my hair in a way that hurt so much i would cry), and my mother would bitch and moan about how difficult i was about it (because she was hurting me and did not listen when i told her this) and so i wasn't allowed to have longer hair until i could brush it myself. ultimately the biggest factor is always the attitude of the parents though

God, so much of my shit with my mother was over my hair, it still really gets to me.

TRF is like the whole voting for face eating panthers. But it’s like TERFs are the panthers and TRFs are a cheetah, like “I’m a kind of cat too so they won’t eat my face as long as I eat faces too right?” WRONG they see you as prey, they won’t spare you because they see a fellow cat, they’ll eat your face cuz you’re not a panther!

cis women will like me if I explain to them how I'm -taxonomically- a woman

it’s insane to me that ‘it’s bad to hate someone for an uncontrollable part of their identity no matter who they are’ is a controversial take now

we've regressed

when people say ‘um ackshually i can say i want all men to die and if you tell me “men see these things and go far right because they think it’s true” then you are blaming women for men’s bad behaviour’ i just immediately assume that this person is stupid as fuck like. if a teenage boy goes online to see what feminism is about and is bombarded with ‘kill all men’ ‘all men are rapists’ etc then OBVIOUSLY he’s not gonna want to be feminist. it is really not that fucking hard to understand. people don’t wanna be in spaces that are cruel to them for an aspect of their identity that they cannot control it’s not ‘blaming women for misogynistic men’ to say that. it’s just fucking true. people are so stupid it actually pains me

unfortunately radfem juice is addictive

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hi!! could you write grover x nymph reader? where reader went to yancy and stuff with him for percy. shes very fem and confident and doesnt rly care about combat or the rules, her and grover butt heads alot bc she wanted to let percy run around and do whatever he wanted while grover tried to be a good influence. shes the only person grover is willing to argue w because she makes fun of him alot but shes rly just trying to encourage him to stand up for himself. maybe on tlt quest they have to work together to look after percy and annabeth and they realise they dont hate eachother as much as they thought? sorry if thats too specific im tryna abide by ur post 😭

if not thats okay!! i loved ur soulmate clarisse fic <3

Sure! Here ya go, and thank you for the request and listening to my post, lol. I’m glad you liked my clarisse fix, and enjoy!

Too Bad

Grover followed right after you, the two of you sent away to look for some food while Annabeth and Percy hung back.

“I just don’t get why you have to be so difficult!”

“I’m difficult?!” You exclaimed, spinning around to look at Grover in disbelief.

“Yes! Why? Why do you always have to argue?!” Grover asked in exasperation.

“I haven’t been arguing with you.” You shook your head, only getting a wide eyed look from Grover.

For as long as he had known you, you loved to argue. It could be anything and everything, and it wasn’t even with everyone.

You just always had it out for him, and he didn’t know why.

You were everything Grover wasn’t, and sometimes without meaning too, Grover couldn’t help but be envious.

You were confident, you stood up for anyone and everyone of your friends, even if they could be wrong. That just never seemed to apply to him.

He didn’t like it, and just wanted this to be over but you were making it so hard. You let Percy run a mock, doing whatever he wanted while he tried to be a good influence.

What did that get Grover?

Another argument.

“Uh- yes, yes you do!” Grover said in disbelief. “You make fun of me, go against anything I say, and you always want to pick a fight!”

“So?!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up in exasperation as they hit your sides.

“There’s no reason to! Especially because you do it just for me!” Grover complained.

“Because you Don’t stand up for yourself!” You said, Grover stopped as he look at you in confusion.

“Yes- yes, I do.” Grover sputtered, shaking his head after a beat of silence. You sighed, shaking your head.

“You let people walk all over you, Grover. You give in, you’re too nice, and-“ You tried.

“How is that a bad thing?” Grover asked. “Because you can’t be someone’s doormat, Grover.” You stated, giving a pointed look.

Grover just stared at you for a moment Before trying again. “But you’re the one who’s been doing it...” he said, a bit suspiciously.

“No, not me.” You shook your head, laughing under your breath as Grover looked at you confused.

“With me, you argue back, you stand up for yourself. You wouldn’t have done that before, would you?” You asked, Grover silent for a moment as he thought about it.

“…you were doing it…to help me?” Grover asked, almost struggling to understand. You nodded your head, smiling smugly.

“And it worked, didn’t it?” You asked, watching as he mulled it over.

“Your teaching methods are…questionable,” Grover started, getting an offended “hey!” From you.

Grover ignored you, thinking before looking back at you. “But I get it, though.” He nodded.

“See?” You asked, chuckling a bit. Grover couldn’t help but smile a bit as well. He has never thought about it that way.

He had to look away after a second though, because now he had more time too look and see, that the old feeling he felt when looking at you wasn’t exactly envy.

Now, all Grover felt was awe, and a bit of longing as he saw your smile.

You weren’t so bad, especially with your pretty smile, especially when you’re smiling at him

[takavasen]

Tumblr dashboard in Night Vale simulator

🧪homo-genius

Today's science fact:

Spiders have an open blood circulation system, which means they do not have veins and their blood is different from the blood of mammals. Unfortunately many healthcare professionals do not know this, which can lead to improper methods in...

Read more

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Spiders are a valuable part of our community and deserve good healthcare.

But more importantly, I want everyone to know that Carlos the Scientist made this post, he is my husband and I love him very much! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

🪬a-thousand-fingernails Follow

Cecil everyone knows you and Carlos are married and most of us are happy for you but you don't need to tell this in every post you make

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Wait have I mentioned it before?

809 notes

⭐sheriffofallarts

Hah saw some loser (@ marble-eyes) bring the same girl (@ mountainbeliever343 I think, couldn't see her face clearly from the cameras) home for the third time this week lol

cmon just say you are girlfriends already dont be shy

💎marble-eyes Follow

Hey you can't just share private information like that!! And besides that is not true, I haven't brought anyone home for a long time, I don't have time for that anymore!!!

🟡secretly-in-your-home

No. I can confirm that what Sam said is true. I was there. I am always there. Also, I put the rest of your cereal to your washing machine. They have been in the cupboard for a while now, I thought they were getting quite dusty and needed cleaning.

31 notes

🏀basketballpalmer Follow

We had an another great season with @nvwheelchairbasketball team again! Thank you everyone, it's an honor to be the captain of the team! See you guys next season <3

👍wallabyyy Follow

Aaaaa congratulations! I miss you guyssss

43 notes

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

I just had the most delightful date with the most gorgeous theologist in Desert Bluffs Too!!! We had a lovely dinner at my house (some eyeball salad, mushed tarantulas and fried human fingers), watched some movies and of course made sure to serve our great Smiling God by making each other as happy as possible!! Unfortunately Charles said that it would make him unhappy if I shared the details, but I can confidently say that I have never been more joyful!!

🦷smiling-mayor Follow

Kevin, you missed a service in the Temple of Joy because of this. Surely you would remember doing that for an old friend, wouldn't you? 😊

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

Oh, Lauren, of course I wouldn't ignore anything like that on purpose, you know how much I love tolerating you!!

98 notes

🪽not-an-angel Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

🌟erikaaaaaaa Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💵ex-vanston Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💡erika-the-black-one Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

3 notes

😎violentfootstool-deactivated20230416

Hey guys, so I just spoke to the new scientist lady and found out I don't actually have three pairs of arms. The lower two were just robot limbs that I tried out when I was seven years old and forgot to take them off. So hows your day ://

🔬janet-lubelle

I am always happy to help with explaining your problems away.

🎀tinfoilforteeth

Hey bitch how is it going under the cow

754 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, I'm going to say it. Steve Carlsberg does NOT know how to be a basketball coach. He knows nothing about any game structures, and he only allows one ball per game!! He talks too loud, except when you can't hear him. It will be ALL HIS FAULT if we end up losing this season!!!!!

🌠lines-in-the-sky Follow

:(

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

For everyone who finds this post now: I made this many years ago. Things have changed a lot. I'm very sorry, Steve. I couldn't hope for a better brother-in-law. You are my best friend, and I was the irrational one in this situation.

I have changed the way I look at people. I will not treat them the same way I used to treat Steve anymore.

1,642 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, who let Susan Willman be in charge of anything? She is the absolute worst at making desicions, like, who asks an obelisk its NAME? She had an oppoturnity to ask almost anything, and that's what she chose?? She better stay away from our way for at least seven decades, and keep her "Huntokar"-nonsense with herself!!!

11 notes

[haveihitanerve]

hey, i loved the way you wrote my idea, the kind of adams proyect fits so well the sassy children Dick, Jason and Stephanie were and still are. I do consider Stephanie Bruce's daughter, they have such potencial is a pity we don't see more of them together. It was lovely, maybe you can do me a second one

Bruce is de aged at an age were he has been training for a while but not batman, this kinda scary teenager version of Bruce sees his future sons and daughters and realize hes not alone anymore, he has a family.

If you can't do it is okey, i enjoyed the other two fics you write, have a wonderfull day.

ohohohohoho these asks just keeping getting better- thank you so much and yesss i love steph and bruce so much they are like two sides of the same coin and its a downright shame we dont see more of them in canon- anyway onto the ask

"Look deep into your mind. Silence all else. This is between you and your soul."

The monk's voice was soothing, belaying his hard exterior(and interior if Bruce was being honest- if the man was golden at heart he had yet to see it) but Bruce ignored everything, focusing instead on the cold wind, the feel of his bare toes slowly numbing, the nice feeling of the snow against his bruised ribs.

He was buried up to his torso in snow, only his chest and head above it, arms laying flat on top, eyes closed. It was a new form of meditation, one he had only recently "earned" as the next step in his training.

He wasn't entirely sure what use the freezing-his-balls-off-while-meditating was going to do for him, but he figured the monk had at least some idea of what he was doing, even if he was a little harsh.

But the methods were necessary. All of it was necessary. To do the mission, to pursue his path. To become the Batman and free Gotham of crime. He was alone, his family was dead, the least he could do was dedicate everything to honoring them.

"I will return for you at dawn. Do not move. Do not open your eyes. I will know if you do."

The monk murmured, snow crunching underneath his feet as he circled Bruce, like a wolf circling its prey. Bruce hardly resisted the Gotham-honed instinct to flip him off, focusing instead on his breathing.

The monks footsteps retreated, and Bruce knew he was heading back down the mountain, probably to grab a few pints and boxes of cigarettes, before passing out in the snow. He wouldn't be back by dawn. He probably wouldn't be back for a while.

Bruce ignored his thoughts, concentrating. The practice of stilling his mind was still difficult, no matter how hard he tried or how long he meditated for. His mind was just so... loud.

But he had to try. Again.

He breathed, focusing on each new breath, each sear of his lungs in the frigid air. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. In-

Bruce blinked slowly, rubbing his head. He must have fallen asleep at some point, and not noticed.

More of his surroundings blinked into view, and Bruce shot up, spinning around wildly.

"This... is not a pile of snow." He muttered. No. Sadly enough, he recognized where he was.

Wayne Manor. The library, in Wayne Manor, to be specific.

"No no, no no, what- what happened?" Bruce growled, tugging at his hair. "Why am I back here? Was it all a dream?" Panic gripped him. It couldn't be a dream. Everything he had trained for, all he had done, it couldn't be a dream.

Unless that meant-

Shouts came from outside the door and Bruce spun wildly, rushing for the large mahogany. He wrenched it open, cries of "Mum! Dad!" already on his lips, only to almost collide with a blond haired girl, shrieking with laughter as she raced past.

Bruce blinked. That was... not what he had expected. "I better be dreaming." he grumbled, and made to close the door. But... something held him back. Tugged him to follow her. To go on.

Footsteps thundered from the stairs and Bruce turned just in time to watch two black haired boys chasing after her, shoving the other. But not with malice, Bruce realized as he slowly trailed after them, cautious, using every tool he had not to be seen. But rather with glee.

They weren't roughhousing to hurt, they were doing just that. Roughhousing. For fun.

He followed the sounds of chatter to the kitchen, barely managing to dodge behind the corner as the door was flung open, and a new, taller, black haired boy streamed past, two wafting plates held aloft on his arms, chattering animatedly with a red haired girl in a wheelchair that followed, another plate of food on her lap.

"I'm telling ya Cass, he's into him." The blond girl from before followed, talking to a black haired girl, a Gotham draw distinctive in her tone.

The other girl, Cass, rolled her eyes, yet another dish balanced on her head, as the blond girl carried napkins.

"Stuck on napkin duty again Steph?" One of the black haired boys from earlier teased, breezing past with a cheeky grin, another two plates on his arm.

"Shut it Tim." The blond, Steph, snapped, swatting at him. The anger was light hearted though, and the boy, Tim, laughed.

"It was one time." She muttered, and Cass lifted a hand to her mouth to cover her grin.

"One time I shall never forget Miss Brown." Announced a voice and Bruce recoiled.

Alfred Pennyworth appeared in the doorway to the dining room, extending a hand to take Cass's plate. "Neither shall my fine China, nor my nice rug."

Steph's cheeks reddened, her scowl deepening. "Sorry Alf." She mumbled. The butler patted her shoulder mildly, looking faintly amused.

"It is of no concern now my dear." He soothed, gesturing them into the room. "Now come, or all Master Jason and my fine dishes will get cold."

The girls obediently trotted into the dining room, resuming their casual chatter. Bruce watched, hidden in the shadows of the storage closet, waiting as his butler busied himself straightening a few things in the hall.

He was waiting for someone, that much was clear, although who, Bruce couldn't for the life of him figure out. It was clear he had a full house, and a much fuller life with all these strange people, so who would possibly be worth waiting on?

The answer came down the stairs, a tall, rather broad man, with dark black hair. Bruce couldn't see his face, but he walked with the surety of a man who had been to hell and back, and walked out alive.

"B!" Someone screamed from inside the room as the man clapped Alfred affectionately on the shoulder. "B- B help they're trying to kill me-!"

A new kid, a dark skinned, also black haired boy appeared, hands scrambling for purchase on the unknown man, ducking behind him. A child, a literal child, emerged, a scowl fixed on his lips.

"It is a smoothie Thomas." He announced blithely. "It is for your health."

The boy, Thomas?, remained cowered. "Please don't let him get me!" He squeaked. The man chuckled, reaching back to ruffle his hair.

"Duke, baby, it is good for you."

Thomas, Duke, scowled, batting his hand away. "I knew I'd find no allies here!" He declared with flourish. The man chuckled as a new face appeared.

"B, Duke, stop. We're all waiting, come on Dad." The man, Dad, laughed again, slinging an arm around Duke and the younger boy.

"Alright, alright chum, we're coming." he herded what was undoubtedly his family into the dining room, greeted with uproars and cheers.

"B's here!" A deep voice called.

"Finally we can eat!" groaned a girls voice Bruce identified as the girl from earlier, Steph.

The unknown man laughed again, releasing his sons, but faltered a step, glancing back.

Back at Bruce.

Bruce's breath caught in his throat. Because- because looking at him-

It was his father. No- his mother. No- both. It- it was him. Him, older, stronger, wiser. And- and with a family.

Older him frowned, scratching the back of his neck, brows furrowed.

"Dad come on." Someone called. Bruce shook his head, and headed inside.

The snow, the cold, the frigid wind slammed into Bruce and in seconds he was chattering.

"So- fucking- cold." He muttered, body shaking as he shook free of the snow, stumbling away and down the mountain.

"H-hey- you- you little shit-" The monk was drunk, as expected, and Bruce dodged his flailing arms with ease.

"Find someone else to be your punching bag. Or better yet, find no one at all." Bruce called, landing a heavy hit against the back of the mans neck, sending him sacking to the floor.

He shook his head, making his way to the airport. His training was as good as it was going to get. He needed to get home. And working on his family.

Bruce grinned, a light skip in his step, as he headed for Gotham.

ummmm okay this took forever to write and im so sorry abt that- its also not really what you asked for- he doesnt actually get to talk to any of them, but i wanted an invisible bruce(even if he wasnt sneaking no one would have seen him-traveling through time using his soul/mind and all that but wtv) to see how life is, how the manor, this cold desolate, empty echoing place turns into such a hub of joy and laughter and life, brimming with it, and he's the cause...

anyway hope you liked, sorry its late, and omg thanks for the idea!

[sleepyc63]

artificer's pups in my AU!

(the name of the collector was given to me by @ok1237! hope you don't mind the tag, it just felt right to give credit)

their story + more rambling under cut

Before I go into the characters' stories, I feel like I should add a bit of background to how I believe(or head-canon) the cycle works.

Basically, every creature is immortal until ascension (or other method of permadeath: ex. Rot). This means no matter what age, how you died, when you died whatever, you will wake up in the next cycle. There are no alternate timelines for each creature, if someone dies, it is never permanent. You die, you come back unharmed (physically, mentally however... yikes). Simple as that.

^^^ Less intelligent creatures, such as slugcats, are usually unaware of this fact. Specifically, Artificer is not aware of this. As far as she knows, her pups are gone.

The toll attack plays out as it does in the game. Blue pup is impaled and killed on impact. Arti and Green pup try to get away, but are hit by an explosive that blinds Arti, and stuns Green pup.

As explained earlier, Blue pup, nicknamed "Pearl" by Artificer, inevitably comes back in the next cycle, now separated from their family.

Green pup, nicknamed "Leech", does not drown. She escapes the leeches by stunning them, which is also the first appearance of the abilities she inherited from her mom. She tries to find her mom, but is forced to seek shelter before the rain kills her.

Within the following cycles, all three have parted ways. Pearl, now terrified of the Scavengers, flees the Garbage Wastes and finds himself in Industrial Complex. Leech finds herself in Waterfront Facility, still searching for her mother. Artificer.. well, we know where she is.

Pearl, inspired by Industrial's previous state as a factory, ends up learning how to craft items of their own (With help of the "fire spit" they inherited from Arti). They gave themself a title based on their love of the items they found, The Collector. He never lost his grudge against the Scavengers for separating him from his family (at this point, he believes them to be dead), only keeping peace with them for trade and convenience.

Leech, on the other hand, is still desperately searching for her mother. They're uninterested in anything but having their family back, and this makes an impact on their health (mental and physical). She lives off of only meat, favoring the Scavengers. She earned her title "The Parasite" from the Scavengers spreading word about her tendencies to target them. When they eventually give up on finding their mother, they stay in Subterranean, mindlessly feeding off the creatures there, only motivated to keep living from hope she will someday find her mother.

---

Other info:

> Both pups inherited some of Artificer's powers, but being half natural slugcat, they're dulled down significantly.

> Collector got her bomb jump, crafting skill, partial explosion immunity, and water sensitivity. They have a normal omnivore diet.

> Parasite got her bomb jump, parry, maul, partial explosion immunity, and carnivore diet.

> As of right now, only Collector is aware of how the cycle works. He is aware his mother and sister are out there somewhere, but he's terrified the Scavengers will attack and kill him again.

> Parasite is partially aware, as she has died and woken up again, but she doesn't know this applies to other creatures.

> Artificer is not aware. In her eyes, her pups were murdered in cold blood thousands of cycles ago.

> Everyone hates the Scavengers. Collie is afraid of them, Para eats them, Arti murders them. Family bonding!!!

---

that's it!! it's a work in progress as of right now, some details will be worked on and given more thought later on. feedback is VERY appreciated!! i am not a writer (these are some of the first OCs i've created and taken seriously ... ever) so i dont mind constructive criticism as long as you’re nice about it :))

btw....... if you’re interested in my OCs..... you should totally check out my askblog..... @ask-sleepys-slugs.... i've been trying to flesh out a story for my OCs and people asking questions reallyyy helps my creative process, so i'd appreciate it 🙏🙏

anywayyy byee :]

[lovezbrownies]

Nia with a reader who has an overprotective child, like whenever Nia tries to court reader or something the kid is like.. "dont touch my parent >:[" yknow what i mean?

Your choice whether or not child is from a previous marriage!!

Those meddling kids! (Yandere Queen x GN!Reader)

Nia's masterlist - General masterlist

Synopsis: Nia's love journey with a darling with kids! Warnings: Death of a loved one, societal pressure, Nia being a little evil, kinda cute :3 also reader referred to as Papa (short for parent)

Nia Bloodwen x GN!Reader

From the moment you were born, you were shaped by a world of duty and honor. As the heir to the revered L/N family in Xelera, your life was a tapestry woven with the threads of tradition and responsibility. From your earliest years, you were taught the importance of your family's legacy, and instilled with a sense of purpose that guided every step you took.

When your mother introduced you to Melanie Strater, it was not just a union of families but the beginning of a deep and heartfelt connection. Melanie’s warmth and kindness drew you in, and over time, your feelings for her grew into a love that felt like a beacon in the complex world of nobility. Your marriage was a joyous occasion, and the arrival of your two sons brought a new level of happiness to your life. The mansion, once cold and silent, was filled with the laughter and love of a growing family.

Tragically, the joy you found with Melanie was short-lived. A sudden and mysterious illness took her away from you far too soon. The silence that followed her departure was overwhelming. Your home, once alive with her presence, now felt hollow. Your sons, though young, sensed the depth of your grief and did their best to offer comfort. Their efforts, small but heartfelt, were a testament to their love for you and their mother.

Years passed, and you slowly began to find solace in the daily routines of life. Despite your best efforts, the absence of Melanie remained a poignant ache in your heart. Your sons, now grown up, became your closest allies in facing the outside world. They were determined to protect you from the advances of ambitious nobles who sought to court you, driven by their own desires rather than genuine affection.

Theodore, your eldest, used his natural charm and extensive network of friends among the noble children to keep potential suitors at bay. His ability to weave tales and spread rumors about these suitors kept them away, sparing you from the discomfort of their attention. Theodore’s actions were a silent but powerful declaration of his loyalty and love for you, ensuring that your focus remained where it was needed most.

Henry, your younger son, had his own way of protecting you. At social gatherings, he would craft elaborate schemes to capture your attention, from feigning injuries to claiming he felt unwell. His antics, though often playful, were a means to keep you close and shield you from unwelcome advances. As he grew older, his methods evolved, but his intention remained the same, to keep you by his side and away from the clutches of those who sought to intrude on your life.

But it was Queen Nia’s presence in your life that grew ever more unsettling. Initially distant and even antagonistic, she had come to respect and admire you. Or perhaps it was something more. Nia’s feelings had twisted into an obsession that she carefully concealed beneath a veneer of professionalism and support. She couldn’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else, especially after Melanie. Her jealousy was a consuming fire, her thoughts constantly drifting to ways she could bind you to her forever.

Your children, however, posed a significant challenge. They seemed to have an uncanny sense of Nia’s intentions, and they did everything in their power to keep her away. Whenever Nia invited you to her palace, your sons followed closely behind, never giving her a moment alone with you. And when she visited your mansion, they were always present, like little sentinels guarding their most precious treasure.

Once, when Nia playfully presented you with a box of cupcakes she had made herself, she tried to create a lighthearted moment between the two of you. "Hello there, my dear, yes it is I, your Queen! Kneel before me~! Haha~ I’m just kidding, look what I made for you, however! Cupcakes~ Open the box! There’s a secret message for you!”

“Oh, how sweet! Thank you, Nia, I—”

Before you could finish, your children came charging down the hall, laughing. For some reason, they couldn't go any other way but directly between the two of you. One of them bumped into Nia, causing the box of cupcakes to fall onto the floor. A gasp escaped both of you as Nia glared at the children. You pulled them aside, sighing at yet another disaster caused by those little pests. In her mind, Nia seethed. If only she could eliminate them too… No. She could never hurt you like that. Or could she? The thought lingered, dark and dangerous.

Nia tried to maintain her patience, but her frustration grew. She needed you to see her, to need her as much as she needed you. Once, she sent flowers to you every day for a month while away on diplomatic business. When she noticed the lack of grateful letters from you, she knew your sons had interfered. “So, did you receive anything while I was gone? Like… flowers?”

You looked at her, eyes bright and wide. “No, should I have?”

Her nails dug into her palms, her patience fraying. She had poured her heart into every flower, every petal, every handwritten note. "…No."

Even her attempts at verbal confessions were thwarted.

“Y/N… I am deeply—”

“CONSTIPATED!!!” Henry’s voice suddenly rang out, and he appeared, waving his arms frantically. “PAPA, I NEED TO POOOO!! IT HURTSSS, PAPA, IT HURTS! I NEED A DOCTOR, PAPAAA!!!” You hurriedly caught him, giving Nia an apologetic look as she sighed, begrudgingly letting you go.

But recently, Nia had learned of their schedules. There was a half-hour sweet spot when both children were occupied with their tutors. It was her golden opportunity, a precious thirty minutes for her to finally confess—and perhaps more.

“Bye bye, Theodore, dear! Have fun with your tutor! Oh wait! Where is Henry? Ah, right, he’s also being tutored! Isn’t that fun, my dear? Just you and me, all alone for half an hour!” Theodore seethed as he was led away by his tutor, watching Nia’s wicked smile as she locked the doors to the living room.

She turned back to you, her gaze intense. “Well, we don’t have much time, so let’s get this out of the way, hmm?” You looked at her, confused, your usual soft smile still on your face.

“I am madly in love with you. I have been since you married Melanie. May she rest in peace,” she said, though her eyes betrayed her true feelings—may she not rest ever.

“Oh, Nia, I don’t—” You tried to gently reject her, but she interrupted.

“Dare you reject me, I will bring down your entire family, kidnap you, and leave your sons to rot in this soon-to-be-forgotten mansion. Pick your poison, dear.” Her voice was almost feverish, eyes wide with a manic intensity. You felt a chill run down your spine. You agreed, there was no other choice. It couldn’t be that bad, right? At least your family would be stable and successful, and your sons happier and healthier in the palace… right?

Meanwhile, Henry, having been alerted by his brother about Nia being alone with you, frantically tried to open the living room doors. Despite finishing his lesson as quickly as possible, he found the door locked. Knocking and pounding, he yelled as loud as he could, knowing they could easily pull at your heartstrings. “PAPA!! PAPA!! I CUT MY HAND ON ACCIDENT, PAPA, HELP!!!”

The door burst open, and your worried face came into view. “Where?!” You looked disheveled, dark red lipstick smeared around your lips, and your coat discarded. Henry glanced past you at Nia, who was lounging against the couch with a cocky smirk.

Nia’s heart raced with a twisted sense of triumph. She watched your son scramble around you, desperate for your attention. They were losing this battle, and she was so close to finally having you all to herself.

The Queen always wins.