#dont be mean about people finally accepting themselves

[mycartoonmonster]

Like Ive stated before in this post; Bill shares one or two things with the zodiac members but if we're talking about the Pines;

Bill is detached from reality, prioritizes his fun and desires over other people's as well as rejecting that life doesn't always goes his way not unlike how Mabel would be without her family and friends and past relationship since she can accept she's wrong and decides to self improve whereas Bill doesn't, he wants things to be his way and refuses to improve

Bill's confidence in his smarts, attention to detail and knowledge does make him pridefull and arrogant with no one to call him out for it, he can be over-zealous and constantly demands to be taken seriously due to how he was treated back home but he's self centered and ruthless on the pursuit of his goals and he's not above breaking the law to have fun but to negative uncontrolling extremes like Dipper would be without his family.

Bill's mutation made him a social pariah which started his delusion that he was special hence he's arrogant and feels entitled to respect to lessen or soften the hurt he was feeling and cant let go of stuff easily, doesn't wanna admit the shame he has and refuses to admit hes wrong not unlike Ford but he didn't have any family nor genuine friends that pulled him back to reality and make him realize the error of his ways (As much of a jerk he was to McGucket, Ford let him go when he saw Fidds was hurt by his actions and didn't pursue him and he doesn't ask for forgiveness cause he feels he's not deserving of it)

Both scam and lie to people for their own benefit as a result of a mistake they did that forbides them from going back home but Stanley did it for survival (and thanks to the website we now know what stuff he had to go through) and his family whereas Bill can get by and he doesn't have a family that cares about him anymore so essentially he lost his impulse control/moral compass with the death of his family not to mention they both harmed Ford the most but Stan does know this whereas Bill refuses to accept the guilt and downplays everything he ever did to Ford and still seeks to be with him cause he sees him as his other half (in a more romantic context than a brotherly one) but Stan, although saddened by the fact Ford initially wants him out of his life, respects Ford's wishes cause it's thanks to his family that Stanley is selfless, willing to sacrifice his happiness and memories and why he got the happy ending Bill wanted.

And also he projects onto other members of the zodiac who deep down are miserable like him like Gideon and Pacifica;

Gideon was originally an outcast, just like Bill, who gained power at a very young age which speeded his growth into villany and ended up creating a rivalry with the Pines and both deeply crave connections and affection but dont know how to do it in a healthy way and damage those around them and think its the sibling of the twin they're pursuing who interposed in their relationship when in reality it was their own actions that did and both not only try to paint Stanley in a bad light but they essentially have the same plan in both seasons finale of taking over certain place and its up to the Pines to stop them and they get outdone by Stanley which makes them hate his guts for meddling with their plan for absolute power and both end up in jail where they do art therapy after failing to talk their way out of sentence.

The thing that differentiates them both is that when confronted for their actions and explained why what they want is impossible, only Gideon realizes the error of his ways and tries to do the right thing even if it ends up bad for him which is something Bill would never do.

Pacifica and Bill were nice kids before the abuse they went through by their parents (Bill's was accidental/didn't mean to but their actions hurt him and it peeved the way to his descent into villany) turned them into mean individuals who seek to hurt others to feel better about themselves and their miserable lives and both act like they dont care what others think of them but they secretly do (Bill is a monster but deep down craves connections and was hurt over his and Ford's breakup), can't admit they need help cause that would break the mask they're presenting to people which would reveal they are nothing but a weakling seeking help and the riches they have access to dont make their lifes better and they see themselves as monsters covered in blood for their sins (Euclydian's blood in Bill's case and human blood in Pacifica's case) but Bill already accepted that (cause there's no undoing what he did) but refuses to admit it whereas Pacifica suffers cause she's genuinely trying to change for the better but thankfully she's not alone in doing so (she's got the Lumberjack's spirit and she's working at Greasy's dinner and Lady Susan is a much better influence for her than Priscilla and Preston ever were); the same cant be said about Bill, I'm afraid.

And on a minor scale, Robbie and Bill are heavily inmature for relationships with both of them being jelaous of the partner's friends which did eventually lead to their demise in one way or another and it was their own actions that led to the break up which they did not take well and did message their ex in attempts to get their attention but nothing but at the very least Robbie is aware enough he cant force Wendy back into the relationship and was able to move on and find someone else whereas Bill became abusive and aggresive towards Ford to the point of physically harming him either by puppetering his body or using his neurons to cause him pain and is still down bad for Ford even 30 years later and refuses to move on hence why he tries to offer him several chances to join him as an ally or why he gets better treatment (in Bill's standards) than the townsfolk in Gravity Falls or his Henchmaniacs during Weirdmageddon.

Everything boils down to family if you think about it; Bill is shown able to form relationships and feel guilt/remorse but he's so detached from reality that he refuses to recognize his wrongs and he cant help but project onto others as soon as he sees anything that makes another person similar to him cause he cannot take or recognize the pain that he's carrying cause that would break him and unlike old times he's got no one to sing him a comforting lullaby to lessen his hurt.

No parental figure is flawless in Gravity Falls;

Dipper and Mabel's parents's troubling marriage situation does worry their kids and is why they're never homesick and they decided to focus on other stuff during their summer and why Mabel was terrified of going home all alone to a place that would be broken, she couldn't bring Waddles, she wouldn't be able to go back to the Mystery Shack next summer and she'd have to face the horrors of high school all alone (which can be pretty terrifying lemme tell you as someone who spent the first year separated from her brother and it was among the worst school years ever) and there would be no one at her birthday party to say goodbye to her.

Priscilla and Preston did abuse Pacifica by essentially treating her like a dog with a bell and installing the idea she needs to be pretty and perfect.

Bud and his wife let Gideon do as he pleases cause they're terrified of him and dont give any discipline.

Fildbrick was a bad father with his kids by constantly treating Stan badly and Ford as the golden child but not truly respecting him or valueing his wants and essentially raising them to be abuse victims throughout their adulthood (Stan was only 18 when he had to fend for himself and thanks to the website we now have clues about how awfull his expierences were in a decade of homelessness and due to his need for validation he never got from his dad, Ford became trapped in a toxic relationship with Bill where he felt he couldn't get out and was helpless and alone when facing Bill) and Carynn, as loving as she was, she couldn't stand up for her son when it mattered the most. Plus, we still dont know how bad Shermie had it between living in Ford's shadow and fearing to be a dissappointment like Stanley was, not only to his dad but the entire town he was growing up in (and doing the math assuming he's the youngest of his brothers, it would mean he got married at 19-20 and moved to California probably in an attempt to get away from it all but thankfully he broke the cycle of abuse if Mabel and Dipper's parents dont want the kids to witness their rough patch going through which shows they care for their kids)

Stanley does gaslight Dipper and lies to everyone around him in an attempt to protect them which surprise to no one did get them into trouble more than enough times that could have been avoided if Stanley warned them or how he could of told them head he had a brother sooner to save himself the trouble, not to mention he struggles with Dipper when it comes to masculinity because of how he was raised but he would never lay a hand on him like how his father did. And he does try to be a better parental figure to those closest to him like Soos or Wendy, but again its hard.

Ford, although fond of his niece and nephew, can't help but project onto Dipper a bit and is why he offers him the chance to study in Gravity Falls as his apprentice for his well being but in reality this is bad for him as its stealing Dipper the chance to grow up and miss on many life expierences he wont get to expierence if he stays in a lab (said by Alex Hirsch) and Ford doesn't take a moment to think about Mabel's feelings regarding this situation and assumes she'll be okay all on her own just like he was in collage but fully overseeing the fact that she's still 12 years old and just like his brother, Ford hides the truth in order to keep them safe but with the addition of shame for not seeing past Bill's manipulations and tricks and he cant talk openly about it cause he was never given the proper tools to deal with it and he cannot bring himself to be fully trusting his family save for Dipper aka the person that resembles him the most (not unlike Bill sharing with Ford what truly happened to Euclydia) and it's exactly that distrust which causes Weirdmaggedon.

Scalene and Euclid as well meaning as they were; medically abused their kid and installed the idea he was different from others and Billy deflected that onto him being special in order not to feel bad for not fitting in and being the weird one in his home. Worst part is that Bill seemed to be aware that as bad as his treatment was, he knew his parents wanted the best for him but went about in the worst way possible and despite everything they did to him, he still loves them as seen in how he continuosly draws red and blue triangles or the fact he's wearing what remains of them aka his bow tie and tophat and he drops the sass and becomes serious upon hearing his mother's name coming out of Time Baby's mouth. He misses home but can't return. And now their baby boy is stuck somewhere somewhat resembling the past expierences of medical abuse he had back in his childhood and he cannot get out without exterior help which he lacks and tries to convince himself he'll get out of there, but can't.

It's sad and I do pity the small child who just wanted to show others the stars Bill once was but I cannot extend the sentiment towards the sociopathic megalomaniac monster that seeks to hurt others he became later on.

....im gonna read happy fanfics to cope now.

you ever think about how bill is who the pines could have been if they didn't have any kind of support from anyone in their lives

[thebiggestfuckgiven]

“dude we get it, you have/you’re [insert sexuality or gender identity or mental disorder or chronic illness] but do you really have to make it your whole personality?”

well considering that for years i believed something was deeply wrong/broken inside of me and i hated myself for it so much, just to realize as an adult that it was actually X thing, yes, you bet your ass i’m going to be loud about it.

if i want my clothes to be the color of the ace flag or if i want to wear a discreet black ring on my middle finger that no one else around me irl will catch on to, or if i want to casually mention how me forgetting is “just the adhd”, then by god i will. Because the alternative is self-destruction and i cut that bitch out of my life

[lovelikeghossts]

I've been reaching out to other women about female masculinity, and it's making my heart more at ease. It's so much more than what I originally thought. I had this vague definition of what I saw the media portray it as, but it's nothing like that at all. There's so much that I enjoy now that I can continue enjoying and don't have to give up just because I want to explore a new side of myself, and I'm so happy to find that out.

[wheatbreadfuckyeah]

It's you in the reflection, not him. [Viktor x Reader]

Dont let the title fool you because it's just a vent story, lamdhownwbsbxj. Remember- it's okay to be self-indulgent once in a while

–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—–—

I sit on Viktor's desk, my legs casually propped up on my usual chair, absentmindedly gazing into the small mirror he keeps tucked among his tools. My reflection stares back, and I let out a frustrated sigh. "Ugh! I look like my dad."

The sound of my voice breaks through the soft hum of his work. Viktor’s head lifts slightly, his golden eyes flicking toward me with quiet curiosity. “An odd lament,” he remarks, setting down a small tool. “Why does this trouble you?”

I hesitate, biting my lip before responding. “Because… I don’t like him.” My voice wavers, frustration and something deeper seeping through. “He was barely in my life, and when people say I look like him, it’s never a compliment. Everyone says he’s ugly, and then they just… casually mention how much I resemble him.”

The bitterness in my tone hangs in the air as I glance back at my reflection, my chest tightening. I whine softly, as if the words themselves could alleviate the weight pressing on me.

Viktor watches me in silence, his gaze steady but unreadable. When I finally meet his eyes, I catch something in his expression—thoughtfulness, perhaps, or a flicker of understanding.

“You frown at your reflection,” he says, his voice calm but deliberate, “not because of what you see, but because of what it reminds you of. A face, no matter how similar, does not define you.”

I furrow my brows, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. “Easy for you to say. You’re…” I gesture vaguely at him, my words tumbling out before I can stop them. “You’re you. Plus—you’re attractive.”

That catches him off guard. Viktor blinks, the faintest hint of color rising to his cheeks, though he quickly schools his expression. “Attractive, you say?” His tone is mild, teasing, but there’s a softness in his eyes that wasn’t there before.

I groan, covering my face with my hands. “Don’t make it weird. You know what I mean.”

His lips twitch in an almost-smile, but he doesn’t press the matter. “You overestimate the comfort I take in my own appearance,” he says quietly. “It is not without its flaws.” He taps the edge of his desk lightly, his voice growing more thoughtful. “Yet I find myself less concerned with the surface. Your likeness to him—whether striking or faint—is incidental. You are not him, nor his mistakes.”

I look away, swallowing hard. His words are kind, yet they stir something uneasy in me. “It’s not just about him,” I murmur. “It’s what people think when they look at me. Like I’m… carrying a piece of him everywhere I go, even when I don’t want to.”

He leans forward slightly, resting his elbow on the desk as he studies me. “And yet, you are more than their opinions. More than their comparisons. Do you believe your reflection encapsulates all you are?”

“I…” I trail off, unsure how to respond.

Viktor offers a rare softness in his expression, a flicker of empathy that feels grounding amidst the storm of my thoughts. “Perhaps it is not your father’s image you fear, but the thought that his absence defined you. That it shaped the way you see yourself. You are not beholden to that.”

I blink, his words sinking in slowly, uncomfortably, but not unwelcome. “You make it sound so simple.”

“Simple? No,” he replies, leaning back and picking up his tools again. “But necessary. Complexity often lies in accepting what cannot be changed.”

I glance at the mirror one last time, my reflection no less familiar, but his words linger like a small, steady light in the back of my mind.

[aziraphales-library]

hello mods! thanku for all the work u do on here ur all so ineffably talented :) could you possibly rec some married aziracrow fics ? preferably post-canon, non explicit & not human aus but if thats too much trouble i dont mind! thank you once again !!! 🫶🫶

By married I assume you're looking for fics with #domestic fluff? Here are some to add to the tag...

Autumn Leaves in London by Sabotaged_Words (G)

The Ineffable Husbands are living their Notting Hill dream. Crowley persuades Aziraphale to go for an autumn walk, which ends with Aziraphale reading to Crowley from one of his favourite books with Crowley relaxing on Aziraphale's lap.

but when he walks in, i am loved by vantablck (G)

Against all odds, Aziraphale and Crowley finally find themselves sharing a life and a home together. Oh, and they finally go on that much awaited picnic.

Some Part of Me Came Alive by ForSnaken (G)

Aziraphale and Crowley have been living in the South Downs cottage, are now married, and have decided to adopt four cats. Very domestic, and described by the beta as tooth-rottingly fluffy.

Like real people do by eerlingoq (G)

marriage /ˈmarɪdʒ/ the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship. Perhaps that's what the humankind would prefer to call it. Aziraphale and Crowley are not one of them. To them- it's one another simple tradition of those pesky little creatures. Maybe it has a more significant meaning to them now that they are free. To figure that out, it takes two occult beings to break the elephant in the room; just this once.

complementary colours by ineffabildaddy (T)

Aziraphale turned his gaze towards the love of his life, who was currently sat in the chair next to him, reading yesterday's copy of The Guardian in a grey Commodores t-shirt and a black-and-white stripy pair of boxer briefs. "What's your favourite colour?" Aziraphale enquired, breaking the tranquil silence of their breakfast ritual. Glancing up from his paper, Crowley arched an eyebrow. "Wazzat?" Or: Aziraphale has just moved into Crowley's cottage in the South Downs. We follow their little adventures as they grow accustomed to their new life together and endeavour to find out things they have never known about one another.

The first year (of the rest of their lives) by Melime (T)

After Armageddon doesn't happen, Aziraphale and Crowley learn to communicate about their feelings and to accept that Heaven and Hell truly are intent on ignoring them. Along the way, they enjoy romance and domesticity, learn to share a home, and decide what they want to do with their lives.

- Mod D

[aicosu]

Hey, just saw your post about Veilguard - do you mind me asking what it is that put you off? Thanks!

I can start by saying I've not played it. I'm not going to at this point. But basically, every cutscene and dialogue option and plot point I've watched. And for those of you that don't remember I was hugely critical of Inquisition despite my love for it. And I downright hated Trespasser. So this shouldnt be shocking.

And its a lot of stuff I dont like. I can make a short list of major things below, obvious spoilers.

Please dont read this if it will make you angry okay? This is a lot of angry ranting.

1. I said this with inquisition and trespassers but veilguard seals my hatred for the decision to center the entire plot of ripping apart the dalish culture and religion. I'm sorry I just don't think this is compelling. It's icky to create an oppressed and marginalized race with parallels to most indigenous cultures in the real world, and basically call them wrong and stupid for clinging to their culture and history. I don't care that validating the Enuvanris existance means also invalidating the maker and the tevinter reiligions too, or even the dwarven: the game centers this narrative on the DALISH. The entire implication that its their fault all along or they sold themselves into a cult and slavery is gross. The game could have easily done this but centered it around the Maker. Andraste as the blight corrupted crazy deity or spirit whatever the fuck. Makes more sense with how much Chantry has been shoved down our throats since origins, and given how much wider spread it is after literal genocides of the dalish, qun, etc it would just mean a lot more to target the oppressors/majority religion directly. And look listen, I'm a pretty hardcore athiest and even anti thiest. I hate all religions, I find stories about dismantling religion compelling but to couch it histories of marginalized people like... its just not great. Not to mention twisting their gods into systematic greedy people or shoving their "bestest god" into a human woman and trying to make her prostheltize at me. I don't like it!

2. I get why old decisions dont matter. The world is too big, sure. I dont mind that at all, actually, even with all the problems, it gives people invested in those choices. Im happy to accept it. But then... make the actual plot less beholden to it. Why bring in cameos at all, then? Fuck man set it 50 or 80 years later. But if you cant cause everyone wants closure in the DA fandom then give us closure. If not personal closure with wardens and hawkes and etc cause its all too variant — lore closure. We arent going to talk about how darkspawn were thinking and talking? Blight was always just a random elvhen weapon? What apparent the tevinter magisters then? What about the architect? What about the idea of darkspawn becoming their own race and culture? What about the old gods themselves they were just always enuvanris? How do magisters actually feel about that? Why did those who worshipped corypheous or the black church follow Elvhen gods, their most oppressed and hated enemy aside from the qunari?

Speaking of, what about all of us who wanted to confront Minrathous and Tevine for the atrocities we've built up about it for 3 games. Slavery? Off screen solved before we get there? Dorian fixed it all? I had a heated debate with Dorian about him saying how slavery wasnt all that bad "They like being slaves!" And so many conversations with Fenris about how horrible it is. Rape and murder and submission? We don't as players get to finally confront that?

How about red lyrium being sentient. How about it being a tool the elvhen then used to murder titans, but not its alive and unstoppable? How can anything be unblighted? Because plot?

What of the calling? What of it really? What of those in The Calling who were unblighted? nothing?

Not even a deep conversation about the murky ethics of liberation/slavery when it comes to the Antivan crows stealing children? I'm to forget that?

How about anything all to do with the Qun? How about that burnt in memory I have of Saarabas immolating himself in service to not just the system of his culture but his belief in his faith. We're writing him off as a terrorist and not as an example of the Qun? Lets be really real; they have been retconning the Qun every game till now them being a fully gender and sexual accepting society.

How about the changes of mages vs templars if and maybe they walk free now? As if that entire conflict wasnt the brewing boiling point for three games?

What about the elvhen rebellion they so rightly started after centuries or murder and racism? Can we stop pretending that rebellion isnt an act of violence and has to be? Can we stop erasing the idea that systemical upheavel can be anything other than radical? Hello? Anders is one the phone asking for you?

How about that ending, the veil isn't even torn? Spirits don't walk the earth as intended. Why not solas' plan? Why not restore order. Why not join or dissuade him as he asked us to in trespasser?

It just all feels washed off, Thedas. I'm allowed to be angry and upset that they spanned all of these topics and asked me to engage with them on a deep ethical and moral grounds only to never mention them again. I dont think making your player base feel stupid for caring is great.

3. On personal levels, Solas has been ooc since trepasser. And frankly, the explanation of his relationship with Mythal is disgusting. Made the first slave and turned from his true nature into a tool of war—and reaffirming his subservance by making it that only Mythal could stop him? How is that not a toxic dynamic, and they fram it as loving and romantic? Imagine them trying that Fenris who can only be talked down by Danerous. Come on. It should have been Lavellan — or it really should have been not at all. Let him. The devs want to destory Thedas and start over? Let solas reset time and recreate the earth and tear is all down and erase most of the history. Do it you cowards. Give me an unrecognizable DA5 where spirits and mages rule and the elvhen thrive and war with each other. Give me slaved humans and a topsy turvy all that changes remains the same reality. Why not if you want to illuminti titan everything anyway.

4. I dont believe in the veilguard, I should have a choice not to. I should have a reason to care about it or my companions or fewl some sort of reason we must all work together aside from "theyre adorable". All the other games you had companion parties in organic and believable ways. Rook is leader cause.... ? What if I dont want to be? At least my Dalish inquisitor fought tooth and nail not to be called a christian messiah. Hawke had FRIENDS. And the warden found those who knew what a blight meant. And many of all of us disagreed. Vivianne got not sympathy from me. Why should Neve? Fenris will leave your party if you waste your time when the Magister comes to town. I dont want to coddle Harding about her stupid chantry. I do not to talk to Lucanis happily about the crows. Maybe I dont want to be friendly all the time. Maybe I hate everything Bellara is doing. Or taash.

5. The writing was on the wall in inquistion hoenestly. What with Iron bull letting me decide is he mass murders his found family or not. But jesus these new companions are like 10 yrs old. I don't know you decide. Your a fucking adult. I cant take a single one of them seriously. Even Sera screamed and yelled at me if I challenged her. Solas and I almost broke up mutiple times arguing about tradition and purpose or that damn Mythal well (again and no wonder he would object to doing anything akin to being emslaved by her, only to submit himself in this game. As if the well mattered at all. As if morrigan matters at all.) I just don't feel as though I'm bonding with anyone, I'm babysitting. Im being told what a great person I am that I can teach everyone elementary school behaviorial learning. I dont want to, I dont even want to be "good".

6. Petty stuff:

I hate the art style both in the UI and the models. I hate it. And the expressions are so poor compared even to Da2.

I hate all the armors. Everyone is bulky. Hate it.

Ugly combat.

Cant control or walk around as my companions and try out other classes.

CC cant change eyes or facial structure much so all rooks heads look the same and kinda... everyone looks like a dwarf. Sorry. Imo, imo, every rook I have seen looks like a dwarf.

Dont like the music.

Dragons are ugly.

Morrigans outfit makes it look like she has 4 titties.

I hate this elvhen "steampunk" tech when so much of their magic was shown to be earthen and mystic. Dumb. No explanation as why it would become this way it just is now.

Blood magic erasure cause the devs are scared of us being cool I guess.

I hate the humor. Every joke doesnt land for me. And there are simply too many.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.

happy gruvia day i guess!

so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.

ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.

seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!

*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*

im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.

ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.

and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.

so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!

then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!

so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.

im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.

but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.

it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!

u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.

im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?

so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?

the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!

like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!

and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!

whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point

[tachimichishrine]

i’ve found someone who writes for tachi?? omg?? you’re writing is so amazing i love it! can i req an x reader where she’s like chuuya’s subordinate in the pm so she’s higher ranking than tachihara but takes an interest in him bc, hello?? who wouldn’t? so she starts to play specific moves that draw them closer together (ngl im thinking mastermind by taylor swift if yk the song) and when they’re finally dating he confesses that he knew what she was doing the whole time? aka intelligent slightly manipulative reader thinking she’s being slick abt it. thank youu!

<welcome to the corner of tumblr where we worship tachi and have no shame about it !!!!!!!!!!! OH FUCK YEAH I love this ask I love the idea and I love you, i've never heard that song before but woah it got my brain juices flowing, sorry it took centuries but here you go luv ♡>

"mastermind"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! chuuya's subordinate! reader

warnings: mention of drugs/alcohol and drink spiking (dont try this at home kids) ; a little bit of gore/torture but it's one sentence ; for some reason there are some elements of kind of sort of yandere!reader that just manifested themselves grgrgr but barely i promiseee ; fluff + plot ; cursing n intended lowercase

it was the middle of the night, and your phone wouldn't stop ringing. you tried snoozing it, turning it on silent but it would keep vibrating on the night table aggressively. against your better judgement, you picked it up and took a look at the caller id.

"boss man 🤏🧍"

well, you couldn't ignore that.

"what the fuck do you want you short little shit, it's 2 in the fucking morning," you grumbled, then cleared your throat before actually pressing the green icon to pick up the line. "hello, boss. is there anything I can-"

"cut the bull, where the hell are you?"

"um, at home? sleeping?" you raised a brow that he couldn't see. "am I supposed to be somewhere?"

"you- forget about it. just get here, now."

now, he was really getting on your nerves. "get where? I can't read your mind, boss, what-"

he hung up.

you didn't have a problem with chuuya in general; he was a decent guy, sometimes. you got assigned to work under him in the fallout of his partner, the famed demon prodigy, disappearing. of course, he didn't want anything to do with you at first, and you would've felt the same if mori wasn't breathing down your neck to keep on it. so, you kept showing up on his missions a few minutes before he arrived, the information already extracted or people already beat to a pulp.

he still wouldn't budge, so you had enough of working so hard just to be his subordinate and exploded at him one day. he could barely get a word in as you yelled loudly and ranted about his inability to accept help. while he was speechless in the aftermath, you just sighed tiredly, handed him your phone number and said that you weren't going away anytime soon and you'd appreciate it if he would just let you work for him already. time passed and eventually you got his trust.

what you didn't get, however, was an explanation for why you were rushing to slide into clothing fit for the outside world and making your way to the port mafia headquarters. it was the only place he could mean, so you ran over there with guns strapped to your thighs and safety off. you had to plan for whatever the hell might've been going on, but all you saw was a nearly empty lobby.

you cursed under your breath, irritated that you busted your ass for no reason. from the corner of your eye, you found a familiar face and approached him.

"hirotsu," you walked over with a pissed expression, "do you know where chuuya is?"

"oh, chuuya isn't here. he told me he'd be sending someone to deal with it," he said following a polite nod of the head. "he needed the black lizard to perform a mission, but he's unavailable tonight. so, he said that he'd send you."

"he's unavailable?" your eyes nearly bulged straight out of your skull, but you caught the slight squint in his face. "oh. he's drunk out of his mind, isn't he?"

hirotsu nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so. mori only gave him this assignment tonight, and he was already intoxicated when he got the call. I was with him when it happened, so I suggested he call you."

"oh, he so owes me one after tonight," you chuckled, less angry now that you realized he was probably just collapsed on his couch at home and will have the worst hangover the next morning, which you could easily mock him for. well, at least that brightened your mood a little, aside from seeing the black lizard in action. you'd heard of them, ordered massacres through hirotsu but never been there to witness it. that would definitely be fun. "sooo, what exactly do I need to do? just be there or something? yell out 'fire!' like some kind of medieval war commander? 'cause I've always wanted to do that."

the old man was slightly amused by all of your excitement regarding the concept. he said that he just needed someone to be there in case, and you were technically of a higher ranking than he was. you told him that he was such a stickler for hierarchy; he retorted that you sounded like some guy he worked with named tachihara. who that was, you hadn't a clue, but you were assured he'd be there alongside another leader of the battalion.

the rest was a lot less interesting than you thought it would be. you strolled into an abandoned warehouse where the enemy was based with a small army behind you, and you stood there while they lined themselves at your side and waited for your word. you went against your inner child and ordered them to fire in a normal voice rather than a stupidly dramatic one, then you just watched the bodies fall. you glanced at the side to see hirotsu, who was intently scanning his surroundings to make sure there were no tricks. by his side, you saw a masked person and another man who was half-asleep, leaning against the wall.

you fell hard to the sound of gunshots.

maybe it was the way his entire body leaned onto the worn concrete, the way his foot was flattened against the wall and his hips slumped lopsidedly, the way his v-neck plunged down his chest from under his coat, the way his jaw sat tight and clenched despite his slender neck bending backwards to rest the weight of his head behind him. you pulled your gaze off of him since you were afraid of staring, but everyone was already dead and hirotsu was commanding the nameless suits back to hq. the man opened one eye - fuck, they were a glossy amber, some of the prettiest you'd ever seen - and scoffed while he followed them out. he walked like a textbook delinquent, hands in his pockets with awful posture, and you just watched him.

shit, what just happened? you exchanged some brief words with hirotsu as he thanked you for showing up, but all went over your head. you blurted out the question before you could think twice.

"which one of them was tachihara? out of the two who came with us. since, y'know, you were mentioning him earlier..." since, y'know, you couldn't get the picture of your mystery man out of your head and you needed to know his name.

following the affirmation that it was indeed the man with the bandage on his face, you at least had a name as you flopped back into bed at 5 in the morning. you didn't sleep, and you sure as hell couldn't get your heart to stop beating so fast.

something had unhinged inside of you, and all you knew was that you were going to have him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"boss, what'd'ya want me to do to 'em?" you yawned, half-asleep as you sat next to the hungover mafioso who was holding some kind of mystery drink in his hand while the other shielded his eyes from the light of day. you came over to his apartment - something which you knew he hated but was in no position to protest right now - and were simultaneously nursing him back to health and being a pain in his ass. "if word gets out that we annihilated the organization but two of their executives are still alive, our rep would take a hit."

"can you shut the fuck up," he groaned, body slumping further onto his fancy kitchen counter while you continued to laugh internally at him and his slightly pathetic situation.

"look, boss, I'll tell you what," you leaned down to his crouched over height and placed a cautious hand on his shoulder, "I'll take care of it. the whole thing. I just need your permission to grab the black lizard if I need 'em for support, but I can make sure it all goes away. and you can just sit today out and spend all day in bed if that's what you want. how does that sound, boss?"

he grumbled and passed out again; you took that as a yes.

you smiled to yourself as you picked up the unconscious body bridal-style, walked over to his bedroom and set him down. he complained loudly in undefined slurring, but you just shushed him and tucked him in under the covers. he was still trying to argue with you when you removed his hat, placed it at his bedside and then gently kissed his forehead and wished him a good nap. it was a little ironic just how much your boss felt like an uncontrollable younger sibling, but you would never say it to his face as you enjoyed the use of your unfractured limbs.

you tiptoed your way out of the apartment and the building, despite being fairly certain that not even an earthquake could disturb his slumber, with parts and pieces of your plan coming together. what you said was true, you did need to take care of those surviving executives. but you didn't really need the black lizard.

you only needed him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

tachihara heard a gentle cocking of the gun as you glanced in his direction, waiting confirmation that he was indeed ready to storm the facility. you had managed to track down the runaways and corner them in their hideout, and decided you'd call for "backup"; you asked hirotsu for someone who was good with guns and mid-range fighting, since you knew that if you didn't specify, you might end up with the other commander of the black lizard. you didn't like leaving things to chance.

you tilted your head to the side, giving the signal for him to go ahead and sneak down the next hallway. he was eerily good on his feet, light steps as if he were made to be a spy. you did a lot of infiltration work on chuuya's behalf (his face - rather, his short frame - were too easily recognizable on the streets), and every second got you thinking of ways to subtly suggest to him that he provide backup once more on any one of your numerous infiltration missions.

for his part, tachihara didn't seem to be noticing all the coincidences lately. he didn't appear particularly deft or clueless, just indifferent as if he truly couldn't care less. instead of a faint pang in the backrooms of your heart, you felt a sense of challenge, like it was your mission to get him to fall for you because the good things in life are worth fighting for. besides, where's the fun in it if he wasn't playing hard to get?

the mission went by in a blur. you mimicked his mannerisms, ensuring that your movements were perfectly synced with his so that your gunshots felt more like a dance, synchronized bullet ballet. when all was done and the bodies were dropped, you shot him a faint smile.

he raised a brow, perplexed at your joy among the sea of blood, but you began clutching at your chest like he'd shot you with his glare and he chuckled a little bit. you could've sworn you fell in love with him all over again.

"say, I was wondering..." you thought out loud as you crouched down to the body of the target, pulling out a knife from your calf, "are you new? in the port mafia, I mean. I've been here ages and I don't think I would've forgotten someone who shoots like you do."

leaning on the wall while he watched you carve out their skin, peeling off a specific section that had their organization's signature tattoo, tachihara scoffed. "what's it to you?"

"just makin' small talk, don't get your panties in a twist sweetheart," you snickered, albeit screaming a little internally; you didn't expect him to be so resistant. you bagged the proof you needed to show your boss that you got the job done, then rose back to your feet. "alright, we're done here. thanks for the backup."

"wasn't like it was my choice," he rolled his eyes, although you didn't sense any true irritation in his voice. good, this is good, you can work with that.

"wasn't your choice, huh?" you repeated to yourself out loud. "how 'bout this, then: I'm gonna go grab a drink, so it'd be your choice if ya wanted to tag along, no?"

he murmured something about being busy and you tried not to let him see you frown as you walked out.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

this was your fifth "coincidence".

coincidentally, tachihara ended up needing to hand-deliver a message to chuuya, but you coincidentally bumped into him and promised to pass it on. he looked at you a bit suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

coincidentally, you were out drinking with hirotsu on the same day he was going to join the old man. you wouldn't go so far as to say that you played a part in the veteran's sudden diarrhea that left you two alone, but then again it was quite odd that you slipped some sort of substance in his drink right before. not that anyone saw, of course.

coincidentally, weeks of coincidences paid off. every time you'd run into him, need the black lizard or the other way around, he was starting to loosen up. you had a number of inside jokes and he spoke a little more on missions.

this time, you had to go negotiate with a foreign organization from which you imported an important number of your firearms. chuuya was available to go, but you pleaded with him to let you do this on your own, making up some lie about how sending an underling instead of an executive would show them that they are not the ones in control. he seemed skeptical but let you go.

soon afterwards, you whipped out your phone to dial his number.

"it's so unfair!" you complained to tachihara, groaning loudly as you combed through your closet for the right outfit for the occasion. "like I get it, he's busy and all, but dumping a mission on me last minute? sheesh, that's a cheap move, especially from chuuya. I've got 2 hours to figure out what the fuck I'm going to say to these people."

you left the phone on speaker while you pressed dresses against your figure, glancing in the mirror to see if it was the right one. "and it's a big organization, too! I have no idea what I'm going to do if things go south except get my brains blown out."

lies. if things went south, you would easily be able to make your way out unscathed. you were the right hand woman to a port mafia executive, not a scared little girl, but he didn't need to know that right now.

"would'ya like me to tag along? if they see one person, it might look like you were sent as a sacrifice, but if we're two, they'll know we mean business," he offered, as planned. you pumped your fists in the air and contained a squeal.

"hm? oh, you don't need to do that, tachi," you said softly, sliding out of your clothes and into your form-fitting outfit, making sure to check out your ass and reaffirm that you looked stunning. "wait! I'm just kidding," you giggled playfully, "it would mean a lot if you did. thanks."

he chuckled the faintest amount, and you made plans for when and where to meet. you told him that it was a high-end restaurant, so he'd need to wear something fancy enough to blend in, but of course the high-end restaurant was your idea. you'd planned it all in advance, setting up a corner in the back of a place that the mafia had under their thumb and inviting the organization there.

a date, it was a date, and it didn't matter if he didn't know it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"you look stunning, dear." he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it, looking up with soft eyes you'd never have expected. he pulled out a seat for you and called the waiter to get you a cold glass of water.

unfortunately, "he" was the executive from the other organization, not tachihara.

awkwardly, your plus one stood in the corner with the rest of the guards, shooting you occasional glares that basically screamed, "why did I volunteer to do this, again?" you just laughed internally and told yourself that you'd take him out again as a way to make up for it, which was your goal all along. you adored it when all the pieces fell into place.

the negotiations were flawless. the man across the table from you seemed to be very willing to cooperate, and you figured his slight cracks at flirting might've been a part of it. the other part was that he looked positively jet lagged and you might've put a little something in his wine to mellow him out. you were sure he would've reached the same conclusion if he was sober, this was just a harmless little nudge in the right direction.

"10% increase on the price for a 20% increase on the quantity of firearms imported, then," you reiterated, smiling sweetly at him while he agreed to double what someone in their right mind would ask for. "lovely doing business with you, sir. I'm glad this didn't have to escalate."

he smiled softly, offering you his hand to help you up then nodding his head towards the exit so his goons would follow him out. you looked at the piece of paper he'd slid into your palm, a phone number etched into it, then watched him looking back at you with a wink. for a moment, you could've sworn you'd almost forgotten about tachihara.

"that was boring as fuck," he strolled over to you, clicking his tongue as he complained about his feet hurting from standing there for so long, saying that he wouldn't have worn a goddamn suit and tagged along if he knew all he would be doing is watching you flirt with some guy."

"that," you stressed, pocketing the number but trying not to think about it, "was not flirting. if I was whoring myself out for the mafia, believe me I'd put myself down with my own hand."

"oh yeah? brave words for a woman with a dress that tight on her ass," he scoffed, crossing his arms before he realized what he'd just said.

"tachi, you lookin' at my ass?"

he seemed at a loss for words, huffing angrily as he walked out and you laughed to yourself. he was so cute when he got angry.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

tachihara michizou was not an idiot.

he, however, did not know what to make of your behaviour towards him.

all these run-ins, all your conveniently-timed missions where you were down one person, every text you seemed to send at the perfect time. he knew your gaze lingered on him and he knew that you wore that dress for him, but he couldn't be sure about it.

confirmation came when he was casually chatting with chuuya over drinks.

"my damn subordinate has been so fucking weird lately," the executive slurred, gesturing for another glass while he toyed with the empty one. "reminds me of that fucking dazai... always plotting some kind of shit..."

"she sounded kind of pissed with you 'cause of that last gig with the firearms dealers," he retorted before downing his shot and slamming his fist on the counter out of adrenaline. "since you dumped it on her."

"huh?! the fuck you mean, dump it on her? she was practically beggin' me for that job, said she didn't want any backup either. I'm telling you, tachi, that chick's gone mad."

so it was a lie, when you called him, complaining. he wondered what else was a lie, but then he wondered why you would lie about that.

as if on cue, a message popped up on his phone with your name on it.

"are you free tonight?"

so he wasn't imagining things. for some reason, it got his heart beating, thinking about the fact that someone would do that for him. but, before he could respond, another ping:

"I got shot sorry lol I have no idea why I made it sound like I was asking you out. could you bring a first aid kit or something? thanks a ton!!"

he concluded on the fact that you were confusing, and that he wouldn't say anything about it, especially since you probably think you're incredibly slick about it. instead, tachihara excused himself from a very drunk chuuya and said he had to go.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"ow, ow, ow! fuck, why don't you just pour the whole damn bottle on there, while you're at i- fuck!"

the whining was hard. you had to do it manually, making sure you actually sounded like you were in pain when really, your "fever" was from all the heat of feeling tachihara's hands on you as he dabbed the wound.

ironically enough, this wasn't planned. you genuinely did fuck up, the man you never called seemed to want revenge because he sent a few people to kidnap you. you only got grazed while you took care of all the henchmen, but it still hurt like a little bitch.

he was the first place your mind went to, as always. you managed to get yourself home but you couldn't reach the spot on the bottom of your ribcage where it sliced open without feeling a lot of pain.

and so, you just turned it into an opportunity to get him in your house, sitting on your couch, his hands on your skin that was barely covered by your shirt. the alcohol he was pouring onto the wound hurt but you couldn't feel anything except pure ecstacy.

"say, you're not bad at this," you fake winced as he pinched the skin together and just put a bunch of superglue on it. "you got... gah, you got experience as a medic or somethin'?"

"how exactly did this happen?" he ignored your question and instead helped you up slightly so he could wrap the bandages around your torso.

"remember the guy from the other night? well, he gave me his number and I never called, so he got butthurt and sent some goons to fuckin' kidnap me. or kill me, I'm not sure. I didn't really pause to ask 'em."

he looked as if he almost didn't believe you, pulling down your shirt and gently tapping on the spot he bandaged. "there, you're all set."

"thanks again," you smiled at him, groaning a bit as you sat upright. "I know it's late and you were probably doing some other shit."

then a slight pause. "if you want to crash on my couch instead of walkin' home, I don't mind."

the walk wasn't long, and he didn't feel tired at all, but he didn't tell you that. he just helped you walk over to your bed then got himself comfortable on your sofa.

you'd never been happier to get shot. maybe the universe was finally on your side, in its own weird way.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

the wound was fully healed and tachihara was yours.

it was the perfect excuse to him check on you, to have him come over and stay over as "protection in case someone tries to kill you again". both of you knew your excuse was bullshit, your plotting to get him by your side so painfully obvious now that he was getting closer and closer to you. by the time he was making visits on his own and smiling at you in the hallways at the port mafia, you didn't need to do anything anymore.

it was a wordless confession; both of you walking in the streets at night, going nowhere and not saying much. it was cold and you could see both of your breaths swirling in the air. you blinked and suddenly your faces were close, too close, and your body was leaning in on its own. his lips tasted like something your mind could've never guessed.

nevertheless, you were still addicted.

something about the kiss felt effortless, too. like you didn't need to do anything, say anything to get him to wrap his hands around your hips and pull you in close. this was the way it should be, easy and effortless. like you could wait patiently and he'd fall in love with you all on his own.

"have you seen my holster?" he called out weeks later as you laid down on your couch, reading a book as he looked around for the item.

"it's over here!" you called out, the holster expertly hidden in between the cushions because you wanted him to come over to you and find it. as he walked over to you, watching you wave it while dangling on your finger, a teasing look on your features.

"you're a conniving little shit, you know that?" he sighed with a soft smile, glancing at your hands as you set down the book by your side then sitting by your side. "if you wanna talk to me, you can ask like a regular person, y'know?"

his wide smirk as he looked at you pout, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you fake-sobbed into his chest. "you're so mean, thinking I'm lying!"

he grabbed your chin, gaze directly settling onto you with a look that said not to bullshit him. "you think I don't notice? when you kept bumping into me, us getting paired up on missions, even that time you said chuuya 'dumped' that job on you? yeah, you're cute but you're not a great liar."

you furrowed your brows. "if you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"'cause I wanted you to tell me yourself."

"asshole," you pouted, laughing as you leaned towards him and kissed the tip of his nose. "I just didn't think... never mind, it worked, didn't it?"

he rolled over, laying you down on the couch and settling himself on top of you, making sure you were trapped. "being all cryptic now, aren't we?"

"maybe," you muttered between kisses, wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him deeper. "... maybe... maybe you were just... I dunno, so pretty, and I thought 'fuck, he'd never go for me' and... I don't know, it's not important..."

"aw, look at you, gettin' all soft 'n mushy," he chuckled into your neck, smiling at your words while his teeth graze the tip of your earlobe. "keep talking 'bout how out of your league that I am."

"oh, shut up," you whispered, grabbing a handful of his hair and bringing his lips back onto yours so he would stop talking. "I'm tryin to open up here, you smug dipshit."

he grinned as his hand went down in between your thighs, parting them and opening up your legs. "I like the sound of that."

you squealed playfully and rolled him over, but the couch wasn't wide enough and you both fell onto the floor with a dull thud and a frenzy of laughter.

"seriously, though," he brushed your hair out of your face and pulled your hips so you were snug on him while you caught your breath and lowered yourself to kiss him again, "you're talkin' nonsense, baby."

"mmn, if you say so," rolled right onto his tongue. you believed his words, or maybe you didn't, but it barely mattered. he was here now, in your arms and telling you everything you wanted to hear. he said that he knew of your antics, yet the truth was that he couldn't do a damn thing about it if he wanted to.

all because you're a mastermind.

[stevie-petey]

what about a fun silly little mindless blurb w steve robin and bug at scoops before ch 1? like what was the first time bug stopped in to visit steve like ? did robin instantly take to her ? i need to see my precious babies bond

we technically already see bugs first time meeting robin in chapter 9 of season 2, buuuuut i love em and will extend the scene a bit <3

enjoy !

"slow down! youre running so fast and i just biked here!" you try your best to keep with robin as she drags you through the newly built mall.

"keep up, slowpoke!" robin only tugs at your hand and all you can do is follow.

youve known the girl for all of five minutes and already shes become your new favorite person.

robin drags you to an area close to the entrance where theres a fancy fountain. seemingly content with where shes dragged you to, she finally drops your hand and sits against the fountains ledge. scrunching her face, she looks disapprovingly at the statue. "how come hawkins had enough money for this crap but not for new uniforms for the band kids?"

"youre in band?" you ask the girl as you sit next to her.

"yup," robin nods at you, curious to see what your reaction will be. shes heard a lot about you, everyone in hawkins has. youre the towns sweetheart, and robin knows at least three people in her band group that you helped one way or another throughout the years.

you gasp. "dude, i wouldve done band, but jonathan wanted to do choir instead."

"why didnt you just do what you wanted?" robin asks you, though she knows the answer already.

"band wouldnt have been fun without him, and i do like to sing." you shrug, not really regretful over the decision.

robin stares at you, a slight frown on her face. she seems to almost study you. "youre fascinating, you know that?"

"what do you mean?" you wrap your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling very small.

seeing this, robin is quick to correct herself. shes always been horrible talking to other people; shes the worst at making new friends, and she really, really wants to be your friend. "no! i didnt, uh, mean it in a bad way! i just-well, i mean. shit."

robins panic only makes you forget your anxiety and you nudge your shoulder against hers. "hey, breathe. im not going to like, dunk you into the fountain water."

"thank god," robin exhales, relieved that you dont seem too angry with her. taking a deep breath, she tries again to explain herself. "what i meant was: you took choir for jonathan byers, and yet youre here now with steve harrington. the douchebag."

you frown at robins words. you forget sometimes that so few people see steve how you do. hes far from the boy he used to be, but you know that sometimes its harder to heal wounds from cruel words said during your youth. "i know you dont believe me, but steve isnt so bad."

"hes a dick."

"he used to be, but now he isnt."

robin huffs. "and im just expected to believe you?"

"no," you shrug. "while i understand that steve has changed since you last saw him, i also understand that this change isnt mine to force you to accept."

your words leave robin speechless. its almost annoying how rational youre being about this. how you can balance both steves feelings and hers without making either of them feel lesser for it.

youre a goddamn saint and robin truly has no idea how jonathan or steve have managed to snag you for themselves.

its unfair.

"i..." robin tries to think of something to retaliate with, but she cant. youre right and she hates it. "thats a very frustratingly mature way to look at things."

you shrug again. "it sucks being so mature, i'll admit."

then steve runs up to the two of you and hes panting with exhaustion. "christ," he wheezes out, clutching at his knees as he bends down to try an catch his breath. "you two are fast."

"youre an athlete, harrington." you tug at steves hair and cause him to topple onto the ground, which robin cant help but giggle at. "keep up."

"why do i always end up on the ground when youre around?" steve doesnt even bother to get up.

"because im clearly bigger and stronger than you."

robin pokes your cheek, mollified by your conversation from earlier and by the fact that you just knocked steve harrington to the ground for fun. "dont forget more mature, y/n."

"oh, so much more mature." you agree, smiling at her.

steve sighs from the ground. "this is gonna be a long summer."

"get used to it, dingus," robin nudges the boy with her sneaker and he flinches away, displeased, but this only makes you and robin giggle even more together.

[mundaneblue]

Alien Stage Theory time!!

With Round 7 just around the corner, I felt it fitting to look back on my theories I've gathered so far and very heavily believe in. But my most CRUCIAL one that I always feel like talking about is:

Ivan meant for both him and Till to die in Round 6.

So I am of the opinion that Ivan did NOT plan to do the whole sacrifice at all.

It was spontaneous.

And I have several reasons to back this theory up.

So we all know that ever since Ivan and Till were kids, Ivan had been obsessed with the idea of them escaping together.

He knew Till valued “freedom” and because he did, Ivan started to value it too. But never alone. Only with Till.

Since Ivan went back to Anakt instead of escaping after Till did the same because of the fear of leaving Mizi.

Even in the scene where Ivan finds Till passed out in around 6, he looks helpless, and cradles his face in a “Dont worry, it’ll all end soon” kind of way.

So when Till stops singing and Ivan approaches him to kiss, the kiss was NOT planned.

Now this was the factor that surprised everyone. Even Unsha. It was so unexpected that he wished he knew what Ivan was thinking, but that’s the thing.

Ivan WASNT thinking.

Even Ivan himself was shocked at what he was doing since he had no control over his actions at that moment at all.

And this correlates to ivan's eccentric behaviour. As we know that ever since he was a child, he never really felt like he fit in with his fellow peers. This is very interesting to me as in Black Sorrow we are shown this picture of Ivan being very uninterested in spending time with the kids in his class. He has this mundane look of unamusement.

But as we look at more alien stage content, we see that Ivan was actually one of the most social in his class. Everyone admired him.

This shows that the rounds/videos don't necessarily mean what was infact happening but what the characters themselves felt.

This is also why I believe Ivan and Till were way more closer than what Ivan painted in his rounds. He just never felt the same love from Till, hence his constant inner mantra of wanting Till to look at him.

Now we've gotten that clear!

The main thing I want to deliver is that Ivan is an unreliable narrator. And he doesn't know how to handle his feelings in a methodical way. He has this distortive, almost possessive view when it comes to love and honestly that, to me, is what makes Ivan Ivan.

Ivan doesn't know how to properly think when he's faced with his emotions. He's used to tuning out his emotions to do things. So when his emotions get involved? It's like an electric shock and he relies on the thing closest to him to hold on to.

And that thing is Till.

Ivan was obsessed with Till. I'm sure we all know that but people really undermine his determination when it comes to Till.

I really do believe that Ivan planned for both him and Till to die in R6 as an ode to their longing for freedom.

Because all Ivan ever wanted was to be free with Till.

The counter statements that suggest he wasn't choking Till and merely had his hands on him simply doesn't sit with me as the animation clearly showed Ivan's hands clenching hard as he progressed to choke him.

Look at the dent formed by Ivan's fingers on his neck, right at the crucial point of air supply.

And Till is shocked but as he's gradually losing air, his eyes start to get heavy and he gets ready to accept the darkness that follow

And while Ivan is getting shot, he chokes him even harder.

Because that IS his goal.

For Till and him to die so they'd be together in whatever life that follows hereafter.

I disagree when I hear that Ivan meant to sacrifice himself for Till. Yes that did happen at the end but it was never what he initially intended. His initial intent was far more dark and possessive. Which is very on brand for a Vivinos character.

However, now we're getting to the sacrifice part and I believe this is where Ivan had a turning point.

As he gets his final shot and basically sees he's about to die, he looks at Till in surprise.

Because no matter how much he wished for them both to be together, he can't kill his God. He can't kill his Universe. Ivan is possessive but Ivan is also weak when it comes to him.

This smile of his shows that sentiment. "Ah I really can't go through with it afterall"

Ivan always believed he and Sua were similar but he resented her for sacrificing herself for Mizi. He believed he was better than that. He won't ever do that. Wherever Till goes, he goes. Yet, when he was actually faced with the task of doing it, he finally realised what Sua felt. Because Sua, just like Ivan, was also quite possessive of Mizi.

He couldn't do it, and at that moment he knew that he and Sua really weren't so different. Only difference was that while Sua was loved, felt love. Ivan never felt it.

Ivan did everything for Till. He stayed at Anakt for Till. He pursued alien stage for Till.

And his last act was also for Till. He wanted his last action to be for himself, to finally grant his long due wish of being with Till but he couldn't do it. And while the sacrifice was spontaneous, it was just so...easy to do. Because again, Ivan thought Till never cared as much about him as he did (abandonment issues at their finest) so him dying wouldn't really affect him as much.

This makes Ivan so much more tragic for me. And this heavily fits him as a complex character.

"Thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions."

When were you or your feelings ever shallow, Ivan...

[conceptofjoy]

what do u think of dirk n hals Gender Situation given 10 or 20 years? if they ever finally settle down their various identity issues etc

......... great question..

dirk's masculine gender identity is fucking fascinating and there's always something new to consider when i look at it at a different angle. and i mean this also goes for bro too. like gender is a very complex thing in homestuck with many metaphors physical or thematical littered about. Dirk specific gender identifiers are lil cal (empty), being seen as cherry red (either failing at those standards or admired for achieving them), and bro-ism which in this instance is often interchanged with heroism.

canonically in caliborn's masterpiece, after dirk seals caliborn away into cal, and lets cal and arq go, homie has straight up lost all the signifiers he's identified with and is left in his pink god tier outfit. literally forced to reckon with the fact that he is a gay man, and how that actually may be way better than the alternative that he was trying so desperately to be seen as. idk there was a series of posts i made about it a month or so ago. this is like, the final realization dirk has in the comic. i mean i dunno about specifics of labels, but gay and genderqueer is like the basic all encompassing ones. to be honest most homestuck characters fall under this extremely broad category, as queerness is a huge underlying theme.

a dirk that doesn't immediately go through caliborn's masterpiece learns this the loooong way. cis guy-> trans guy (refuses to acknowledge this during the session but slowly gets it towards the end of 3 year voyage. will NOT say he is trans through his lips though.) and then shit just stagnates there. i think it depends on his environment, but 5+ years (depends on who he surrounds himself with. if its no one, he is COOKED.) is about the time needed to have those same revelations.

and then there's hal........ arq is one of them brightly colored gendersonas. like what swimz said, arq sacrificed her continued existence for her friends. i dont think arquius ever gave her gender a name because of how thoroughly she embodied it by her self love/ the joy she felt for being alive. it was already said by her existing. hal getting a body vs hal getting a body after being arquius r people who understand vastly different amounts of things about themselves.

a hal sans arq brain meld has a silent kind of depressive acceptance about them. yeah i got a body, things feel better, but it feels like there could be more i could be doing for myself right now, however do i really need it? umm sandpaper floor room esque. trying to figure out what to do with herself after getting less than the bare minimum of being a person. would take a bit to realize she can be a girl.

hal post arq brain meld. holy FUCKING shit i can feel like that?? suddenly no longer arquius's confident persona and is kind of freaking out about the various implications. there would be an amount of time where she falls into a depression, however tries to bring herself up back to that point because a part of her who was arquius knows she deserves it. she would over think the gender thing though, ok yes im a girl, BUUUTTT -etc etc-. almost for the same exact reasons why dirk is attached to those bro-isms. she was supposed to. red girl struggle. again, idk the specifics, gay and genderqueer is hella broad.

i do think hal is fem aligned and more confidently can call herself a girl over time, and dirk can finally wear pink without thinking about it and wanting to decapitate himself.

[gothicada]

ꜰɪᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ⬎

ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ/ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀɴᴄᴇ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɪᴠᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ꜱᴇx

⟶ ꜰɪᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ ᴜᴘʀɪɢʜᴛ

ʚїɞ ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ⟶ upright, the five of pentacles can mean someone who is unfortunate, or someone who is unlucky and gets over-whelmed easily. it could speak about feeling/being insecure, divorces and break-ups, this card brings much scandal.

ʚїɞ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ⟶ for romance, the five of pentacles is about being lonely, breaking up with someone or being depressed in a relationship. if you're asking if you should get into a relationship, or get into a relationship with someone in specific, the card is saying no because it will be a difficult process and relationship.

ʚїɞ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ/ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ⟶ for a career reading, the five of pentacles upright is about getting a lower grade, losing a job or getting kicked out of a school. it could be said that there could be drama that happens, you losing something in the place, or whatever project you're doing can make you feel depressed.

ʚїɞ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ⟶ in a future reading, the five of pentacles is about losing money, getting sick. feeling unwelcomed or lonely. this card upright can mean material loss, getting into drama feeling like everyone is alienating you. going through a break up or hearing someone going through a divorce.

ʚїɞ ꜰɪɴᴀɴᴄᴇ ⟶ five of pentacles upright in a finance reading, is a clear reading that you could be losing money, being scammed. someone not giving you your money back. could be warning you to not spend the money you have, being unemployed, not a comfortable position for sure.

ʚїɞ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ for feelings, the five of pentacles is about feeling lonely, they might feel like it is hard to reach out to you, and they feel hopeless. they could feel guarded around you as well, they might feel like they do nothing right for you.

ʚїɞ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ not really a good card to get when it comes to someone's feelings, could mean they dont really want to do anything with you. could build a wall around themselves which could make it hard to communicate with you. you being treated with no care and being someone who is alienated, might like to spend time with other people.

ʚїɞ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɪᴠᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ interesting card to get when you ask how someone could perceive you, because this could mean they see you as someone who could bring down the fun. someone who is kept to themselves, and they might think of you as someone who is not their type. but depending what other cards you get, it could mean they dont want to lose you.

ʚїɞ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ⟶ as a person, the five of pentacles is someone who could be seen as unlucky, might not have the best income and doesnt know how to change their unlucky circumstance. they're usually overstimulated and over-whelmed and needs someone to reach out to.

ʚїɞ ꜱᴇx ⟶ not good sex.

⟶ ꜰɪᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴇᴅ

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴀɴɪɴɢ ⟶ reversed, the five of pentacles can be considered as a good omen, it could be about feeling welcomed, accepted, letting go of things and people who are not good for you, making progress for your projects and improvement in your finances.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴄᴇ ⟶ this can go two ways, if you're someone who wants to get into a relationship it could mean being accepted by someone, or finally letting go of someone you used to be in a relationship with. this can also mean you being someone who opens up more to accept other people into your life.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ/ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ ⟶ in this setting, the five of pentacles in reverse could mean a project being done that was difficult is coming to an end. and if you are someone who is looking for another job or university, you likely will have good luck.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ꜰᴜᴛᴜʀᴇ ⟶ in reverse, the five of pentacles mean about everything getting better. it could be about becoming employed and seeing positive changes happening in your life. in reverse, the five of pentacles can be about accepting yourself and other people.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ꜰɪɴᴀɴᴄᴇ ⟶ in reverse in a finance reading, it could speak about your finances getting better, someone giving you money, and if you have a side business it could be about the business going good and that you will find stability soon.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ for a feelings reading, they could feel better about you, could mean you are someone who can help them recover, they would feel like the two of you have gone through so much together. might've had a bad feeling about you in the past and now its better.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ stereotypical, "could be learning" to be better with you. could be someone who treats you like a therapy case or they treat you like their therapist. can insinuate that they would prize you and keep you really close to them, you could be their anchor.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ʜᴏᴡ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴄᴇɪᴠᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ⟶ could mean they could perceive you to be someone who has gone through a lot. someone who is recovering, getting to a better mind place. could think of you to be someone who is very welcoming to other people, and someone who stays loyal to your word.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ᴀꜱ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴏɴ ⟶ as a person, this is someone who is getting a better financially, could be someone who is forgiving and doesnt like it when other people are left out. being someone who is accepting their trauma and is going through healing. coming back to the social life, interacting with other people, helping others or being helped.

ʚїɞ ʀᴇᴠᴇʀꜱᴀʟ ꜱᴇx ⟶ good card to get in reverse, this means it'll be a really shared experience, the sex putting the both of you in a good mood. this card in reverse can insinuate that one party could be really focusing on the other party's pleasure. make-up sex.

ʚїɞ ɴᴇxᴛ ⟶ ꜱɪx ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ

ʚїɞ ʙᴇꜰᴏʀᴇ ⟶ ꜰᴏᴜʀ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴇɴᴛᴀᴄʟᴇꜱ

[psychabolition]

saw ur post about wanting asks

what is ur thoughts on the aspd or maybe cluster b community in general on social media/tumblr? what about cluster b influencers?

honestly I feel like aspd is a diagnosis that most people reject since the reason people get diagnosed with it is that you dont feel bad about an extreme deviancy from societal norms. why would you accept a diagnosis that pathologizes that?Wheres the benefit in that? Especially bc its often in a setting that also criminalizes you and is very obviously forced onto you and thus unwanted (court mandated therapy).

Thats why its always fascinating to me who the demographic of people actually are that accept that diagnosis for themselves and actually view themselves and their experiences the same way their therapists/psychology tells them to. Who finds comfort in this extremely stigmatizing label and the inhumane treatment it accompanies and why ?

I think its mostly people who first found comfort in other labels that are less stigmatizing via the usual "relief of shame that comes with saying that its a disease causing us to not be able to do something that is expected societally instead of feeling like we ARE a bad person for thinking/feeling/doing 'bad/immoral things' and then also accepting an aspd diagnosis as fitting afterwards. Also fitting into several pathologizing labels (=diagnoses) in the first place also means that youve probably experienced more violence (psychiatric abuse/child abuse/social ostracization/patriarchal violence/racism/...) and had/have less community to help you through it and thus also were then less able to find identity and language for the way that youre different from others through a community and a non-conformist way of living together, than others did who might only get labelled w aspd. the social ostracization/lack of community an thus lack of language for our experiences then also makes you more susceptible to accepting an aspd diagnosis since after (self) diagnosis you finally have words for the ways that you deviate from neuronormativity.

But to me the aspd label is the worst possible lens through which we can of interpret our own norm deviancy, honestly. you really notice that with cluster b influencers in general where its really obvious that they think theyre evil irredemable people. Like when they say extremely dehumanizing things about themselves like: "I need supply from people to function otherwise I crash!". they would benefit greatly from trying to humanize their experiences and getting rid off this pathologization that they internalized. I cant even imagine what it means for their personal life to actually say all these things about themselves and others that all literally convey that they are people that are not to be trusted . like they legit say things like "all my relationships are transactional, I use people for my own benefit and I cant feel love for anyone" and expect their friends to still like them? LOL. Like I mean I ALSO fit the aspd criteria haha dont get me wrong but its the worst most dehumanizing way to interpret your own experiences.

though generally I think ppl who are labelled w cluster B PDs are all awesome and I can only hope for all of us that we find new non-stigmatizing depathologized language for ourselves and community through which we can find a real meaningful identity , acceptance and support in our norm-deviancy outside of pathologization via psychology and also healing through a community that holds emotional space and understanding for the abuse and ostracization that we have faced in the past and shows solidarity in our present struggles. I think especially people labelled w aspd are cool as fuck since ,to me, we are literally born anarchists. I often think about what difference it would make if we all got radicalized politically - all psych wards would burn immediatly . Pathologizing us is always a means of trying to neutralize dissent and resistance to the social order. This is why we're perceived as a threat in the first place, because we are one.

Thanks for the ask. I'd love to hear other anti psych opinions on the aspd /cluster b community !

[naughtynoodle056]

oh wtf did they mean by that like .. your characters are obviously Black - you could post just the lineart and it'd be obvious??

okay first of all I LAUGHED when I read this ask because I literally feel the exact same way, but allow me to take you and the rest of my followers on this journey that has made me decide I'm a villain now. Buckle up, this post will be lengthy xD.

Person (not artist) confused my OC Shay (the girl right next to Leo) for my OC Xander (the boy on the far left). I got really frustrated because I chose Shay to sit next to Leo in this piece SPECIFICALLY to drive home the contrast in weight and that even though Shay is in a baggyish hoodie, you can still tell she's slim compared to Leo.

I asked if I was just going crazy or if these people mixing them up werre either 1) visually impaired somehow or looked at this for 0.2 seconds because these are obviously not the same person?? an IRL said that Xander and Shay looked too similarly because of their hair and body type and SKIN TONE and I was like. First of all, 2000s emo kids often had similar hair, that's kind of the fucking point here. Second of all, Shay is obviously shorter and skinny and Xander is CLEARLY on the chubbier sie, so what the fuck are you yapping about? and FInally. SKIN COLOR??? SKIN COLOR??????

Here is this same exact piece but with the lighting effects turned off. Just loud and wrong as fuck

So aforementioned artist offers their constructive criticism that was this

and like no offense but the longer I thought about it the more pissed off I got because first of all,

I LITERALLY DO????? and second of all and the reason I'm evil now is that they don't. RECENTLY they actually drew a black person, but it was still a frustratingly ambiguously black person.

Like what does this even mean bro my art style is like ALL SHAPES?? Like I'm really glad you said what you said in this ask because you're so right, you CAN tell my characters are black or otherwise POC just by the lineart. You cannot do that with the artist that gave that criticism. and then they doubled down when people called them out on how wack of a criticism it was and that they were wrong. I won't be naming them by name publicly because like I said before, I will look like the smaller bitter artist that can't take criticism from this BIG POPULAR WELL MEANING artist, but it felt like they were throwing stones from a glass house at a BRICK ONE.

I was also told my art "has a lot of potential" which is the polite way of saying "your art is mid", generally speaking lmaO.

At the end of the day, it felt like they were making huge sweeping judgements of my art and offering criticsm that was like?? unwarranted and felt more like them outting themselves as never giving my art more than just a passing glance because I dont draw 800+lb fatties constantly. Which is fine, you don't have to look at my art. But don't fucking give me criticism that not only doesn't apply to me, but you don't even follow yourself. Its kind of like if an abled bodied artist who NEVER draws anyone with visible disabilities told a visibly disabled artist that DOES draw a myriad of disabled folks in a loving way that they aren't doing enough and then doubling down with "All criticism is fair critism".

I don't think I'm the best artist in the world or in this kink community, but I know one thing for sure. I'm one of the most consistent at drawing black people in a way that's obvious and with lots of love, so don't you EVER fucking imply I don't do enough while your black people just look like color pallete swaps. Don't come for me on that regard if you have never drawn afro textured hair. And no, I WON'T just roll over and accept that "most feedists favor white or pale eastern asain people". I'd rather die a niche artist who actually gives a shit about representation than to just grovel to people that would not respect me because of my race.

[lightlycareless]

Hii! I just wanted to let you know that I'm a big fan of your work!

I started of with discovering your "First it Hurts" fic on ao3, then being updated to your every post cus I look forward to every fic or hc's you make!

Also, I loved the valentines special post 💗💗 BUT IM SO CURIOUS ABOUT NAOYA'S LETTER AHH, anyways I just wanted to let yknow that I love your fics and the way you write Naoya! I hope you continue writing fics about him since there's a scarcity on Naoya fics HAHAHA, but I dont mean to pressure you! Please take your time, and I'm eagerly waiting for your new fics!

Hello!!

Awww thank you so so so much!! I'm so happy you're liking it so far!!!!! 🥺❤️ akajghajkghasgjas as well as my oneshot :>

Also, I'd like to apologize for the delay; I'm slowly working my way through requests, the main fic, and the weird schedule for my job 💀 I greatly appreciate your support and patience 🥺❤️ Also, I'll be writing Naoya fics for like, ever. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE HIM ANIMATED OMG ALL THE INSPIRATION.... gotta keep this small part of the fandom alive!!!!

Now... to the letter.... I feel like it would've gone something like this:

warnings: naoya is a prick, no surprise. but... he has feelings, just that he doesn't know what to do with them. this is the oneshot anon is referring to.

Happy reading!

Y/N.

I didn’t think letters were still written in these times, outside of elderly people and the socially inept, but I suppose that for certain occasions they are still necessary.

By the time you get this you’ll probably already have an idea of where I’m going with it, yet I’ll still write it down.

I cannot deny that you came onto my life in the most unexpected way, not necessarily the best either.

I didn’t like your siblings, and I still don’t. I think of them to be nothing but highly annoying, arrogant, especially your sister who seems to parade herself around Gojo and the privilege she had of knowing him.

Your brother is somewhat… calmer in that aspect, he tends to keep to himself, and I respect that. Everyone should be like that, you know?

But I’m not here to talk about them, of course, I’m here to talk about you.

When I heard that you were going to enroll, I wasn’t thrilled, I genuinely thought great, another nuisance was to grace the school grounds—I already had this preconceived idea of you and was more than ready on keeping it… until I finally I saw you.

I’m sure you’ve heard this a thousand times already, someone like you must’ve undoubtedly… but you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life. Your beauty is so mesmerizing, I couldn’t believe it was real—anyone thinking otherwise is either blind, stupid, or lying. Or maybe all at the same time.

I didn’t accept those feelings at first, tried my hardest to ignore them and go back to disliking you, find a reason to hate you and move on.

But I couldn’t, and when I heard your laughter, saw your smile, or the cute way your eyes twinkled whenever you were excited about something, I knew it was impossible for me to disregard it any further.

My feelings for you had only grown more and more as time passed, and now, I find it physically impossible to contain them, but still hard to express them to you in person.

So, I resorted to this letter, which I hope will be able to accurately convey what I feel for you, if only for a fraction, until then.

What I mean to say is… If you let me, Y/N, I can show you how special you are to me.

I can give you all that you want in the world—it doesn’t matter what, whether it being money, or the stars themselves—I will not spare any expense to give you what you deserve, and I shall assess that every day of my life until my death, starting with the gifts I’ve sent you today, alongside those waiting in your dorm.

I shall call you mine. No other man will be able to lay a hand on you, and I won’t allow any other woman to do the same to me either. My eyes will solely keep to you, and you alone; I expect you to do the same.

And in turn… I don’t ask much, except that you see me the same cheerful, adorable way you see others when happy, the one that has me completely enthralled, unable to keep it off my mind for more than one second, and… accept me into your heart.

If you so decide it appropriate to get to know each other better, you know where to find me. I shall await your response.

Naoya.

As you can see, Naoya isn’t overtly romantic or good with words (I mean, the slander at the beginning lol) but he tries, as genuinely as possible—his honesty is a virtue to appreciate lol. Also, he was TREMBLING while writing this, if not crying hahaha he really almost died when he wrote you were the prettiest girl in the whole while world.

He’ll become more comfortable with it, of course, he’s a man that can’t hold himself when it comes to talking. But it’s nice to see him all shy for once 😊

Akgjakogja I’m so happy you all liked this little oneshot—I know it was quite the bomb to drop on valentine’s day, but I swear, it’s a happy ending story :>

If there’s more you want to know about that oneshot/au just let me know, I’ll be more than happy to indulge!!

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[nattaphum]

The Hidden Character PressCon

The reason why Mile was chosen as the MC for the show is because Pond already knew that he would’ve been good at it because Mile used to be a DJ when he was young but also because he has the “big brother” aura. In fact he showed his good and bad sides to all the young boys. Even at BOC he always gives advices to the others so Pond thought his personality fitted very well for the role.

Mile himself said his role is not just that of a reality show MC but also of a big brother who helps bringing out the charm of all the boys and crack any problem within them to bring out the best version of themselves. He said the reality show is natural and real and most importantly is made to make the viewers happy.

Pond said the thc’s filming happened in between of Man Suang’s filming and it took more than 10 hours to film but Mile stayed throughout the filming and never complained once. He was concerned about the thc filming for several days and when he had to be at Man Suang’s filming he was like “i miss the boys, will they be okay? how are they doing?”. This is a side of Mile that Pond has rarely seen in other people.

(photo of Mile smiling in Apo’s direction❤️)

Question for Mile: what do you think about being an MC considering that you’re an actor from a series while this is a reality show with a new format, it’s an unscripted show. What do you feel about this new format?

Mile: i feel excited because having this kind of format gives the viewers an option to be happy with what they're watching because when we were kids,we used to watch reality shows with another pattern and to see this kind of pattern,well it's a good choice. All the experiences that these boys went through made me think like " hey! if i were in their shoes, would i do 1,2,3 of (what he did) or not?" therefore the audiences can probably relate to that and it can induce some general thinking about that, which i think it's a piece of happiness as well.

Apo’s speech : I was once stuck with the concept of "leading actor" and "masculine." As a leading actor, I didn’t have the courage to act freely. I was afraid to be wrong, as the concept of a leading actor shouldn’t be. Now I have learned to accept myself as I am and become a better version of myself every day. Someone once said to me that if they talk to you and tell you what you did wrong, it means they still love and care about you. When they don’t love you, people just leave and don’t bother to tell you things.

Mile: i think every judgement from anyone, whatever that person is, it’s okay on the outside, it's something that we should hear… but we shouldn’t let those words get into us. Moreover, if you’re someone that likes to judge (negatively),dont forget that you're giving a bad impact on another person. Let me give an example, let's say we ask someone “Are you a man or not?” I take these as questions that are not suitable to be asked because when you ask questions you dont have to forget that whatever we are, the only thing that matters is that we’re all just human. The thing you should focus isnt only about "what do you like or not" but it's more about "what you do and what yoy dont do" and send out the result to others.

Pond: we went abroad and thought that they wouldn’t ask this kind of questions, that only thai people ask this kind of things “You’re acting in a Y Series, how intense is your character? or your love scene? Are you gay? are you a real man?” these kind of questions are asked often. Lately it happened to apo and mile and every time it happens i tell them that this question shouldnt be asked .What is the meaning of “real guy”? It’s the word “gentleman” that only matters

FINAL PHOTOS

All translations by strawberrymilk

Apo’s speech translation by mileapostand