#dont ask why i made this bc idk it just came into my head

[ashendalia]

Everyone deserves a mentally unstable blonde fictional character of their own

[tojisun]

heaven to him

dilf!jake sully x na’vi fem reader

!! fluff and smut - minors dni; kind of accidental voyeur; slight exhibition kink (it’s jake’s teehee); so much pet names (sucker for them); banters <33; jake and his insatiable desire is its own warning // 1.7k words

: so it came to me in a vision; started fluff and ended in smut idk why (im a liar - i do know why and its bc of jake!!!); i dont mention any dilf!jake aspects but the whole fic screams dilf!jake and i need yall to see my vision; hope you guys would like this <33; title from off to the races - lana

your ears twitch, having only managed to catch the tail end of the sound. you frown, your head rising from where it’s pressed on jake’s chest, thinking that by doing so, you could hear better.

jake rouses from his near-sleep, blinking exhausted eyes open to watch as your ears flick up, straining to hear the unusual sound.

“ma’yawntu?” he asks, rubbing your shoulder in comfort at seeing how tense you’ve gotten. 

you fumble with your hand to press it on jake’s lips, non-verbally telling him to quiet down. he blinks, confused, and his brows furrow when he notices your tail begin swishing behind you in agitation.

a squeak resonates again, this time louder and clearer. you jolt, your hand leaving his face to clutch at the straps of his dagger’s sheath, not expecting the drawled out sound it made or how it pitched higher at the end. you turn to jake, wondering if he heard it too.

jake coughs because he did. oh, fuck, he did.

his cheeks tingle, his eyes ducking away to look anywhere but you. you narrow your eyes at him in suspicion, realizing that jake knows what it must be that’s making that sound, but he is refusing to help you out.

you think he is playing with you; that he is making a game out of this to hone your skills in stealth and hunting. so you grin to yourself, slinking out of his hold and ignoring his protests to creep closer to the entrance of the clearing.

“sweetheart, no-” but jake is interrupted by another drawn out squeal. 

this time, you recognize the sound and you gasp, turning to jake, your eyes blown wide in surprise. your cheeks burn, the heat rushing down to your neck, and you rush back to jake’s side, hitting his shoulders with the underside of your fist to tamp down your embarrassment.

jake gathers you in his arms, muffling his laughter on the top of your head as you bury your face on his chest to hide your burning cheeks. 

“aww, yawne,” he murmurs. “you feelin’ shy?”

you peek up from his arms, humming softly. jake smiles, brushing your braids away from your face and tucking the stray strands behind your ears. you huff, feeling yourself settle as you enjoy his warm embrace. 

you part your lips to suggest to your mate that you two should leave soon, if not to save yourself from the immense embarrassment, then to finally crash before the hunt tomorrow, but jake purses his lips before saying, “wanna fuck too?”

you whip your head to look at him, a hiss trickling from your lips as you swat at his stomach in surprise. it only made his endeared chuckles rumble louder so you pinch his skin instead, giggling to yourself when his smile vanished quickly, a wince creasing his face.

“you will shut up,” you say, playfully glaring at him but jake just shakes his head at you softly, patting his stinging skin while you attempt to crawl away from him.

you watch the way he parts his lips to respond to you but another drawn out moan echoes past the clearing, followed by distinct rhythmic slaps, and you choke on the air you breathe, curling to yourself in embarrassment. jake’s hand finds purchase on your waist, gripping, his own breath hitching.

“jesus,” he murmurs, his eyes blown wide. “they’re really going at it, huh?”

“ma’jake, stop commenting!” 

jake opens his lips, a retort ready, but he is cut off once again by a wet sob. this time, his face does end up scrunching as he throws his hands up in resignation. “i swear to god, why’s it every time i’m tryna talk huh?”

you sit up, giggling, unable to hold it in anymore. you slap your hand over your mouth to muffle your sounds but hiccuped gasps of your laughter slips past your fingers, making jake smile so wide.

goddamn, baby, jake thinks as he watches you, his eyes full of reverence. how can i be so lucky to have you, ma’muntxate?

he follows the trail of your tanhi, watching the way they trickle down your supple skin and glitter like stars. he studies the way your eyes crinkle, your full lips quirked up in the most beautiful smile as you turn to him. 

jake reaches out for you, opening his arms again because he wants you in them, and you readily dive into them, nuzzling your face on his chest. 

his rumbling chuckle reverberates in the space between you two, the exhaustion of today’s date night and the ongoing embarrassment settling into both of your bones, pulling you two into a lazy embrace. you cuddle up to him and jake easily slots your body to his – two parts of a whole.

you watch the slow trembles running across his body, his skin sensitive to your breath. you giggle to yourself again, peering up at him and biting your giddy smile when jake tips his head down to meet your eyes. 

“what’s got you so happy, yawntu?” he asks.

you do not reply to him, instead choosing to quietly shuffle closer to him to press your lips onto his collarbone. you hear his sharp intake of air, his hold on you tightening, and you feel elated at seeing what you do to him. 

you pull away and look up at him, cheekily grinning, and jake just tuts before he plants a kiss on your forehead. 

“naughty girl,” he murmurs, his voice muffled by your head, and the awkward sound he made makes you laugh again. 

you bask in the silence, your eyes feeling heavy and your body calling for sleep, before jake ruins it again. “how’re you so giggly after hearin’ people fuck?”

you groan, pinching his side again and rolling your eyes at his answering hiss. 

“just pretend that we don’t hear them,” you reply, trying to find the spot you were just in, accepting the fact that you and jake might have to stay the night out here. 

“really hard to do when all my sensitive ears could hear is them fuckin’, sweetheart,” jake grumbles, one of his hands travelling down to your waist. 

“ma’jake, please. any more comments from you and i’m going to start thinking that you want to mate out here too.”

jake doesn’t reply. 

his silence rings loud and you crane your head up to look at him, gaping, feeling the telltale signs of heat spreading across your cheeks. 

he groans, embarrassed, as he hides his face away from you. “forget about it,” he murmurs, his voice sounding so weak to your ears. 

you stare at him, watching his cheeks darken. his ears are pressed flat to his skull and his tail, you belatedly realized, is loosely looped around your leg, twitching lightly in reflection of his tumultuous emotions. 

you bite your bottom lip, thinking, your own ears flicking in interest. 

jake still refuses to meet your eyes so you take the chance to study your surroundings. it is still ways away from the busy clearing and the hometree, and it is safe, hidden underneath the plush leaves of the trees. 

okay, you think, now feeling the thrums of excitement coursing through you.

“just fingers.” your voice wobbles and it is now your turn to look away when jake whips his head to look at you. 

“yeah,” you hear him say, his voice dipping into a near rumble. “just fingers.”

————

you hiccup, sobbing as jake sinks his cock in your cunt again. jake is quick to push his lips back over yours, engulfing your moans before they could break the tranquil silence. 

“shh, yawntu,” jake murmurs, his hips unrelenting as they pound into you. “not too loud.”

you claw at his back, trembling at the overwhelming pleasure racing through you. your eyes roll back to your head at a particularly angled thrust, your walls spasming as they tighten around jake’s cock. 

“jesus,” jake hisses, pressing his head against yours, ragged breaths slipping past his gritted teeth. “fucked you so many times already but y’r still so fuckin’ tight.”

“ma’jake! too mu-!” you cry, holding onto him, squirming when he grinds his cock against the same spot that had you squealing.

“i know, sweetheart, i know.” jake kisses your neck, parting his lips to lick a stripe along your throat. “y’take me so, so well.”

your hands fall to hold onto his arms, your head tipping back for a silent moan, as your legs tremble at the increasing pleasure. jake follows, covering you with his bigger body, his hands mapping your sides until they fall to your pelvis, his thumb dimpling your skin. 

jake nuzzles his face on the side of your cheeks, his eyes closed in the throes of pleasure. it is too warm now and everything is bathed in the luminous trees, but you are too lost in the euphoric ecstasy that is building within you.

“ma’jake,” you whimper, your voice wobbling at another hard thrust. “‘m close.”

“yeah?” jake begins, blinking his eyes open to gaze at you. he smiles at what he sees, his fangs peeking through. “cum with me?”

you nod, unable to mumble anything any more, feeling like your words are perpetually stuck behind your teeth amidst the pleasure. 

jake’s hips don’t stutter, thrusting wildly as he grips your hips tightly, hissing apologies for the marks that they would certainly leave. you mewl, your raspy moans filling up the space between you and jake, scratching at his arms as your orgasm builds. 

“i can feel y’r cunt spasmin’,” jake murmurs, a chuckle piercing through your hiccuped moans. “you must really love me, huh?”

jake just laughs again when you just glare up at him, your tear-stained lashes clumped together. he coos at you, rubbing his nose with yours. 

“y’r so precious, y’know that, baby?”

“ma’jake, please,” you whine, arching your back with a gasp when jake grinds his cock deep again.

“fuck, yeah, okay baby, i’ve got you,” jake says, pushing your braids away from your damp face. then, he grins, something so beautiful and utterly dangerous. “but we’re just not done yet, yawne.”

[ideasarestuckinmyhead]

a short story where sugarboo comes home with a new back and spine tattoo done out of straight impulse.

My impulsiveness told me to do it-

I was trying to figure out what back and spine tattoos Boo might get. Idk how tattoos work so bare w me.

Uuuhhh implied suggestive stuff at end bc someone now. Backshots (not Auron's sadly) goes crazy w back n spine tattoos

So this is what I think would be cool!

Boo felt tired and sore, but the tattoo's they got made them really happy. When passing the new tattoo shop, they just HAD to get it.

The beautiful spine detail and bones made them remember of a cryptic Seth told them about. The color made them think of Alphonse's hair in dark mode and normal mode.

Boo was really surprised how fast the tattoo artist got these done. With a few breaks in between, Boo was able to become friends with most of the tattoo artists. Saying they'd bring any baked goods they want if they ever come to Sugarboo's bakery.

Pulling up to the house, Boo saw their boys chatting. Seth who was working on his motorcycle in the garage waved at Boo. Alphonse who had his back turned, whipped his head and gave a big smile.

"There you are Boo!" Greeting his partner, he opened the driver side door. Giving him a quick thanks Boo slowly got out and hissed a bit.

Their new tattoo was still a but sore but, the tattoo artists told them how to take care of it correctly. Even selling Sugarboo products since it was the only place that sold them.

"You alright Sugar? Is your back hurting again from bending over?" Gently asking, Seth wiped his hands as he walked up to the other two. Shaking their head Boo laughed awkwardly, his do they explain this.

"So I got a surprise right?" These words made Alphonse and Seth look at them. The pinkeete peaked into he car, and quirked a brow.

"Really? What is it?" Asking Boo, Alphonse went to the passenger side door and opened it. Grabbing the bad with a curious look, Seth came closer to Sugarboo.

"Yeah, usually you dont give surprises unless its-" Trying to connect the dots, Seth was interrupted by Alphonse gasping. Pointing at Boo who gave him a sheepish smile.

"YOU GOT A TATTOO??" Shouting he came to them quickly. And began asking if they were okay, along with if they needed anything.

"Yup! So, uh surprise?" Questioning themselves, they saw Seth sigh and give them a look. One they usually get when they do something really impulsive without telling them.

"Sugar, we could have helped you get into the car and drive you here- Al, calm down." Snapping slightly, Seth looked at the pastel punk who was looking at the receipt

"Boo, I love you but a back and spine tattoo done on the same day?? Babe, that must hurt like hell!" Worried Alphomse started looking them over. Boo chuckled feeling guilty but Seth patted Al's back.

"Let Sugar talk." Sternly saying, the pinkeete paused and then looked at his partner. Sugarboo gave Seth a thankful look before starting to explain.

"I always wanted one and because theres a new tattoo place I decided to get it done! I didnt work today and I thought why not?" Telling the truth, both men nodded listening. It was true Boo was sad they'd have to take like a long time off since the closes tattoo artist was in the city. But now since people are coming here theres different shops now.

"Okay, we understand. But still, ya could have told one of us or gotten someone to help ya get home." Chiding Seth came forward helping Boo to the house. Alphonse followed carring the bag and would help but ask.

"What does it look like?" Asking his partner, who smirked and giggled a bit. This caught both of the attentions.

"You'll see soon once its healed~" Implying something dirty, Al snorted and Seth shook his head. Sugarboo wanted to say that was able a reason why they wanted it. Since their backshots were gonna go wild now-

[asherloki]

supp :) im the person that requested the 12 & 35 prompts a bit ago

ofc u can do fluff and/or dom sherlock omg!

dom!reader is just my pref and idk the prompts were low-key giving beginning of smut to me, but i fr dont mind, u have full creative freedom and u obviously kno more than me bc of ur previous (amazing) writing :)

tysm for considering my request and have a great day/night! <3

My saviour

Bbc Sherlock x reader

Word count:- 3k

Warning:- light smut, but mostly fluff.

Prompt list here !

A/n:- ah finally I'm back! And I hope you like it!

" I'll take it" I said entering detective inspector lestrade's office. He and his whole team was clueless when it came to the mysterious disappearance of Mr Hazelwood. Even though I wasn't the first choice for the case, one can never be, when the greatest detective of the world is inspector's closest acquaintance. Well, acquaintance is past, now he's closest friend. Can you even imagine, the brilliant genius being his friend meant, almost no case for me to solve. I don't even have an assistant, there's definitely less opportunity for me to show I'm capable of solving mysteries too. Maybe not as brilliant as him, the one who stood infront of the inspector as I walked in, he turned to me and I must say, being a detective myself, it always made me like the wise people, and that meant... I fancied the detective, yes the one who's my professional rival.

"you don't understand," lestrade said looking at me, "I want Sherlock to solve it". This stupid comment made my blood boil, again, another oppertunity lost, ofcourse he can't let this interesting case go.

"no, I'm not taking it" I was stunned as Sherlock Holmes stated this, 'why not' I wondered but lestrade said it out loud,

"and why not?"

Sherlock sighed in response and rubbed his forehead with his fingers as if he was disturbed with lestrade constantly urging him to solve a case he doesn't want to, "it's too boring, rather easy for me Gavin".

'Same old genius' I thought as he mis pronounced lestrade's name again, I must say lestrade's frustration made me kinda giggle but I controlled it.

"If it's that easy then solve it" he still requested, almost begged him.

"you must use some of your brain too inspector" replied Sherlock and I agreed, "or" he said turning to me and my heart started to beat faster I could hear it in my ear, "this young lady is willing to take it, give her a chance".

What did I just heard, Sherlock siding me?

"ugh fine" saying so lestrade turned to me, "I assigne you, for the case now I want it to be solved in two weeks".

"TWO WEEKS?" I asked loudly enough for my voice to echo through the office, "isn't it too.. less inspector?" I asked as calmly as I could, you have to when you're still struggling to get known.

"yes, it's easy as Sherlock said, solve it, and if you need help I bet he can, he's already solved it in his fucking mind palace". I see where the anger was coming from, it was inspector being frustrated by the rejection of Mr brilliant.

"here you go" said Sherlock as he was about to pass by me, I wanted to thank him, or say something sweet infact nice but me being me, I regretted what I said, "scared?"

He raised his brows at my comment, I deserved it, then shaking his head he said, "we'll see how you solve it in two weeks without my help young lady".

I squinted my eyes at his challenge. But he went out of the office. I took the challenge in my mind, however I was unsure, I knew it's gonna be difficult, but I can't lose. It's my only chance.

_________________________________________

As I checked my progress after one week, I knew I'm gonna lose this challenge terribly. First, I had this rush which messed up my method and second, this Mr brilliant challenging me, that I can't do it on my own. Which was slowly turning out to be true. I got up from my sofa where I was lying and thinking, and grabbed my coat, my intention was to go to spot from where Mr Hazelwood was missing and inspect it thoroughly. So I took the bus, I know, poor little detective and went to the spot. While inspecting I felt someone watching over me. You know the feeling you get when you're being watched. I turned around and there were no one looking at me, yet again there was this feeling,

"told you, you need my help". I was startled as the heavy (sexy) voice said it, from behind. And no wonder I found Mr brilliant standing.

"what are you doing here, it's my case to solve" I knew I should've been a bit nice but it just came out to be very..

"rude" he replied, "very rude, I'm trying to help you".

"and why the fu..."

"gosh, kids these days" he said shaking his head.

"did you just called me a kid?"

"have you seen your height?"

"I'm sorry I'm not as tall as you and that doesn't mean.."

"as me? you're not even tall..AT ALL" his face remained expression less.

"who's being rude now, and how come you found me?"

"tracked your phone."

He said what? "you're spying on me?"

"a little girl, solving mystery on her own and at night, I must take care.."

"why do you care?" I might've said that but in my head I asked, 'you care? about me? why? who am I to you, genius?'.

"nothing," he got frustrated with me I knew, "if you change your mind, then... Baker Street" he pointed to the way he headed off to, leaving me on the street, alone, rather I pushed him away. I didn't want to, but it's me, why do you think I don't have an assistant? I work alone, so I don't look weak. Yet my phone's calendar told me it's one week to go, and if I can't solve.... No no I can and I have to... alone.

________________________________________

And then there left three days, till now I've matched some dots and it confirmed, he wasn't kidnapped, no one conspired against him, so whatever happened to him he was involved. Now this second part of the mystery held lots of troubles, and to solve them in three days was near impossible. My mind kept telling me to reach to him, you know, Mr brilliant. But it was embarrassing, however I had no other way,

"okay, time to throw my self respect" I said to myself gesturing with my hand as if throwing trash bag, "here I come, Sherlock Holmes".

All my way I just wished, "please stay at the flat, please stay at home, please detective" and there I was at his door.

I inhaled a deep breath and tapped my knuckles on his door.

"it's unlocked" replied a different voice, from inside.

'Oh no, John watson is there, I'm fucked' now I had to be embarrassed to both of these men, anyway I have threw my self respect away.

I opened the door and entered, the scene was... well... interesting I believe, John Watson was on his laptop and detective was sitting on his sofa, eyes closed, hands clasped.

"may I?" I asked Dr watson, because he looked a little sane.

"yes" he replied me and turned to Sherlock, "she came".

"who?" he enquired, his deep voice even deeper, eyes still closed and hands still clasped together, touching his chin.

"young lady". Replied John watson and Sherlock's eyes were flung open.

"is that what you call me?" I couldn't help but ask him.

"any problem?" he asked.

"I'm not here to argue with you, I want.." shit! now the embarrassing part, "I need, your help".

"oh I see, Mr Hazelwood?" I nodded, "still on it? wasn't it easy?"

"if it were then why would I ask your help?" he was getting on my nerves I tell you.

"fine sit" he said and I checked around me.

"where?" there wasn't any place near him but a sofa far in the other end of the living room.

"oh there?" I said pointing to it.

"no here" he brought out a rusty chair for me to sit.

"but it's for the clients" objected Dr watson, he's really sane.

"you know what? I'm fine just help me out". I need help from him and nothing else. Well sometimes I think if I could have something else but hey, professionalism.

"yes now let me explain, before that tell me how far you've got". I explained him everything and out of my utter surprise he got up from his sofa to his work board and offered me to sit there. Why's he being so... kind?

"now let me tell you what exactly happened" and he explained it was all Mr Hazelwood's plan, he intentionally disappeared, he's not dead but roaming around disguised.

"woah!" I couldn't help but praise him, it's not like I don't admire him. I do more than that, I respect him and perhaps... I like him a little too, "so how do we catch him?".

"it's not your duty to do so, you give all the evidence and theories to Scotland yard and order them to find him" he suggested.

"order them? me?" I am not very... influencial am I?

"yes, look they insulted you by not respecting your potential, now it's your time".

His motivational speech filled me with self respect again, the one I threw for him.

"yes" I said with such confidence and then I lost it again, "would you come with me... please?" now still cringe at the thought of me actually giving him puppy eyes and pleading but he agreed.

We entered lestrade's office, one day left till the deadline for me and I explained everything to him.

"seems like Sherlock helped you" said sally, stupid bi... no control yourself.

"I didn't, we met at the gate, I came here for the case I'm taking care of" lied the detective, I must admit, his lying skill was pretty good.

"anyway " said lestrade, "if you really did it on your own then.."

It felt so bad, to be taking credit of Sherlock's work, I didn't solve it all, I don't lie, so I,

"Sally is right" I admitted.

"no she isn't " Sherlock warned me.

"she is, she is lestrade. I solved half of it, it was solved by Sherlock Holmes himself. Yes he helped me, but I could've done it on my own, if I had some more time."

They were all silent for some time, I feared looking at Sherlock, he'd be fuming at me by now.

"I guess we were putting unnecessary pressure on you" said the inspector softly, "fine, you'll solve another one for us".

This second chance made my lips curve into a smile and Sherlock approved with a nod.

We both went out of there, and we laughed and talked all our way to his house, why was I going there? I don't know, I kept on walking with him and he never pushed me away. In between he'd often brush hair off my forehead or take my hand while crossing the road. I wonder why, not that I mind though.

We even went straight to his living room and it was awfully quiet.

"where is Dr watson?" I enquired.

"he's out, he messaged me, he's picking Rosie from school". Then he told me everything about john and his daughter, even his deceased wife Mary.

"Mary sounds like a wonderful, brave, strong woman" I replied.

"she was, she was strongest and absolute boss of us" he spoke in way that showed how much he admired her and how much John Watson and Rosie means to him.

"if only I were capable of doing things on my own" I didn't want to say so but it just came out, it sounded sad.

"why not? if you were weak you would've been living with your parents, you have family, house, friends in here yet you chose be on your own, you don't have any assistant, you solve cases by yourself too, how much more strong do you wanna be?" his words felt good didn't they?

"you helped me" I reminded him.

"only this time" accompanied by his beautiful smile.

"if I need help again in solving mystery? will you help me?" I was starting to let my guards down, I may have started to trust him.

"if you want me to, ofcourse" His smile never left his lips but my phone rang and it indicated it was time to leave his flat, for now.

"I have to go" I kind of asked his permission before going.

"if you have to then... be careful okay?" ain't he little too careful for me? I liked it, I like being taken care of, perhaps he's not wrong I really am a kid.

___________________________________

Days turned to months and one case turned to three. I took his help for three cases, call me dumb but I enjoy his company, for some reason I've noticed he does too.

After solving the third one I first went to his flat with him, both of us giggling at the fact that sally was so disappointed that I actually got recognised for my consecutive three wins, ofcourse with Mr brilliant by my side.

"it's late Sherlock, I have to go home" I said checking my watch.

"John's gonna be out tonight he has some patients to take care of, Rosie is with molly, so you can stay here tonight."

He might've said casually but it's HIM saying to ME. I already liked him, after these eight months of solving cases together I think I can say I... I'm in love with him. He's so caring for me, or maybe for all but I liked it.

"will you?" he asked again, popping my thought bubble.

"oh no nothing I was just ... fine I'll stay" I agreed, with my heart in my hand, he might spare his room for me but I wanted something else, a little kiss maybe... I think I fell in love, with the great detective.

"good" and with this he went inside, and came with his dressing gown draped over him, if I were a cat I would've drooled visibly, but I drooled, just no one could see it. He looked incredibly... domestic and it was hot. I just wanted to cuddle him, play with his hair, kiss him... oh! that was hot.

"Sherlock?" I asked.

"yes?" he answered, offering me something. It was a chocolate, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not a kid" I complaint "I'm a grown up adult in my early twenties."

"I know, but I thought you may like it." well I do like chocolates, so unwrapping it I took a bite. And it was a bad idea told by Mr brilliant's laughter, the chocolate melted and it covered my mouth.

"funny?" I teased.

"very" he said between laughters.

"don't laugh, I bite people" I joked, yet I do have this tendency to bite my close ones,

"oh do you? that's... unique". he replied.

"I'm gonna wash my lips wait" as I got up, I felt his arm catching me by wrist. My heart gave me a signal, it's your chance.

"what?" turning to him I said, I little seductively.

He said nothing but took some of the chocolate from my lips with his finger and put it in his mouth, licking his finger clean.

My senses went wild. I stood frozen.

"you know what?" he asked me, and my mind told me, 'say something, don't look dumb'.

"wh-what?" I said.

"I've always wanted you this close. Never knew if I'd ever have you. I'm.." he trailed off " you're young and beautiful, I'm just an old detective"

'youre anything but old, actually even if you are older than me, I like it, I love it, you're older and sexier, caring as well" I thought.

"I just wanted to make sure you're taken care of. and I..." he trailed off.

"say it" I wanted to hear the words he couldn't let himself speak.

"I love you, with all my heart, have always loved you, and will always do, I sometimes went to Scotland yard casually for maybe to get a glimpse of you, coming to the office, smiling, all jolly, like a ray of sunshine " his lips curved into a smile reminiscing it perhaps, "since the day your eyes fell on me I have loved you, for who you are, you never had to be anything you're not, I love for all the things you are and all the things you're not, I'd see you noticing me too and you're disgust was clear".

"Sherlock" I started, "it wasn't disgust, a pretence, so you don't find out I like you too, infact now I can say I love you and not for your intelligence I admire that but I love you for being a good human to me, I can see, you love me, you care, you protect and you even adore me."

"you know?" he was surprised, "well then, I'm glad, may I kiss you?"

I nodded, and he crashed his lips on mine, letting the kiss go hungrier until he pulled away and asked,

"should we? you want to? with me?"

I understood what he meant,

"yes, I do"

"I'm not that experienced" he replied.

"neither am I"

we giggled at our lesser experience, we both are so engulfed into mystery solving that sex or love barely crossed our mind. I know not how he pulled me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, but we did and we went to his room kissing still.

One can say I was nervous and I knew so was he but he didn't seem so. The way he marked my neck and the way his fingers worked the buttons of my shirt. I was all red being naked infront of him but it melted as he put off his shirt too, I couldn't help but run my hand all over his chest, bringing him closer to me.

"bite me" he ordered.

"I thought you'd never ask" with a smirk I pecked his bottom lip, his moan said he liked it. That hour of him being inside of me was wonderful. He was sweet, gentle, he knew I was absolutely inexperienced. And my first time turned out to be the beautiful one. "I can stay like this forever" I said in between whimpers.

"I wouldn't mind" he replied, fastening his pace and us reaching our climax together. As we layed down on his bed I kept on thinking about how he said he loved me, and he always will.

"what's the matter?" he asked seeing me lost in my thoughts. I knew he cannot actually let himself love someone, maybe it was a moment of weakness for him, but if only he knew it was more than that for me. It was not just sex for me, I made love with him.

“You’re all talk. Why don’t you show me what you really mean?”

I said getting up a little aggressively. He looked confused at my behaviour.

"But It was the truth, why do you think I'd help you, care for you, love you?"

I think he does have a point.

"and sex never amazed me, I don't bother about it, and my past experience was no strings attached kind of sex but now..." he trailed off, "now after you came, I resisted as long as I could the urge to kiss your pretty face, because I know what people could think, that the great detective found a young girl to sleep with, the young lady detective slept with Sherlock Holmes to get recognised, that's why I never opened up about it". His eyes were teary and so were mine, he cared about me as much as he cared about himself.

"if I say" I spoke, "I don't care, and that I love you, I want to be with you Sherlock, then?"

Sherlock came a little closer to me, trying hard not to cry, "then you're gonna get me as your assistant all my life."

Saying this he hugged me and we both cried, tears of joy I'd like to think. But since then I moved in with him, and john and Rosie, I love this family and our parents may have thought this marriage is a little... never mind, they accepted, the age gap wasn't a barrier at all. And we lived happily ever after.

[thatdeadaquarius]

OP your addtion about the Harbinger's reaction? Sent me wheezing to the moon 🤣🤣💀

I dont have any additions to Teyvat language yet (other anons have a more in depth explanations while mine is just shitposts wheEZE--) but I did have an idea for a Genshin AU.

I'm pretty sure everybody has heard about the blue alien people Avatar. Tribal people from another planet. (Also I just stumbled upon the forests of Sumeru while going through Chasm quests. The one that has giant mushrooms).

Imagine Genshin in the Avatar Au. Sumeru can be based on the first movie (It fits cause from what I can explore of Sumeru reminds me of the time I watched Avatar of the first time. Pure awe and wonder..) While the Water nation can be based on the 2nd movie, Hoyoverse hasnt released the name of the Water Country yet so we're just waiting. Mondstadt can be based on the upcoming 3rd (4th or 5th? Idk they had it lined up) movie that involves being high above the clouds. Kind of like the Jade palace or the Floating Abode in the serenitea pot.

Its all I could base for now since the other movies dont have that much info yet to be paired with Genshin's countries.

Bonus idea that randomnly popped into my head:

Still going with this Au but its sagau themed. Creator!Reader arrives to Teyvat and is considered as Eywa

NOW THIS

THIS IS AN ✨️IDEA✨️

I just want u to know i feel b l e s s e d that u put this in MY ask box , when this coulda been a whole post of ur own 💖💖🙏🙏

WARNING: So i havent seen the new movie, just the og Avatar one, and i totally loved that concept about Eywa and how their world works so ill refresh myself but if theres any new lore from the 2nd movie i aint got it yet 💁 srry babs

🎵 FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVED ON THE PLANEETTT

AND STEPPED OUT BLINKING INTO THE SUN

AND THE SUN ROSE HIGH IN A SAPPHIRE SKY

ITS THE CIRRRRCCCLLLEEE OF LIFFFFEEEE 🎵

^ except ur like the life itself bc ur god now

Thats why i put that there

This AU radiates that energy

♤

BRO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT U MENTIONIMG THE COOL CHASM STUFF AND PICKED THAT GIF ALL ON MY OWN

BC I THOUGHT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE EYWA TREE IN GENSHIN ITS THAT BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM GOD

ANYWAYS-

So I accidentally posted this too early so keep refreshing or coming back bc if theres no "♡the beloveds♡" im still updating this then LMAO

SRRY GUYS

So anon's a genius and i could listen to u talk about this all day

I fucking love combining world building or lore together

Esp like making one the AU or just the setting like u said with Avatar worlds as settings and same characters-

EEEEEE U ARE EYWA- YESSSSS YESSSSSS I AM YOUR GOD BITCHES!!! SUCK ON MY BIG FAT MAN TIDDIES BITCHES RAHHHHH /REF

♧

So they deffo use "Eywa" as a term for you instead of your name

Honestly, before when u were a mysterious af planet creature thing (lets say u get isekaied there i mean)

Nobody rlly knew if u even could take a mortal form or even thought of that as a concept

I feel like the younger generations immortals and Teyvat's current countries kinda think of you Eywa as more of a passive entity life force thing

Rather than the older immortals and creatures that had seen thru eons or over the course of a couple thousand years

That u were very aware and intelligent

Not that ur energy or aura didnt tell them that alone

◇

So a little deeper into the Teyvat lore here but i dont see anybody else talking about it so I will

Originally, it was the Seven Sovriegns and you, and eventually Phanes and their Four Shades,

And they literally all quickly came to realize u literally made this planet and began to start the first traditions of worshipping you!

Like putting gifts or hand made goods at the base

(Ppl have also gotten a tradition from Morax/Rex Lapis and Guizhong and other adepti to leave birthday letters to offer you, which ties into what i say below⬇️)

Ya know,

Eywa the tree could even be a sort of source to the eyes of Teyvat of what you look like while u were playing the game

Like how Eywa's little jellyfish reach ppl in the forest and shit? I think?

So like i would imagine that whatever u make certain vessels or acolytes do most often, is what they think they should offer u :0

◇

Claymore users give u gemstones and ores

Bow users give u hunted game like fowl, or the treasure from puzzles that required arrows (like those bursting blue balloons?)

Catalysts and Polearms give u all kinda of crazy shit lmao

Bc they can be used for a vareity of things

◇

Bc of ur player status and abilities, people of Teyvat attribute a gain in power or talents or whatnot to you, Eywa

So say u actually physically there now, and u just wake up under the coolest sickest tree youve ever seen in ur life

Omg could u imagine????

Seeing Teyvat irl? But AVATAR WORLD IRL???!!!

You would stand there lookin around like a drunk fuck for like 20 minutes, maybe longer lmao

Its just so ✨️pretty✨️ here

Also the tree itself just feels like, the equivalent to ur bedroom basically but like specifically if it was hella comfy and like just the way u want it (all the decor is up, the floor is clean, u got like hot choco on ur desk, theres a candle burning, etc.)

♤

Oh so since ur like weirdly connected to the land, like u know how theres a voice line abt walking in that glowing aranara part of Sumeru and ur steps light up?

I saw that too in the OG avatar movie

So i feel like u would have a map with ALLLLL the peoples on it and little icons

U can focus on just vision users or bosses or big nature things like Dragonspine

◇

Oh so Eywa can control all animals and whatnot and so u as a mortal person can too

So anytime theres a threat u can deadass just become a pokemon trainer LMAO

Ok but think how badass it would be to just like,

Get the Primo Geovishap or Giant Bird Jadeplume Terror thingy to just leave their territory and wipeout some mfs

(coughunknowngodasomodaycough)

It would be fucking amazing

♧

Unrelated to above bc im just spitting out ideas srry guys

but like

I feel like if u were a lifeforce sort of ancient eldritch god for the entire goddamn continent of Teyvat let alone the whole planet-

You would have to maintain said continent/planet

Like, make sure the Irminsul is growing okay, protect from mfs like Dottore,

Stop diasters if ur Eywa too, esp bc u can hear prayers now, and would hear ppl crying out to help them geez

while the prayers of the many kinda just glob together to form the major "feeling" of the prayer for most creatures,

Vision users, gods, ancient creatures u can get their exact sentences

Basically more magic = better heard to connect with u

◇

Oh u know, i could even see it being even more manual or personal labor bc ur not like a tree connected to ur roots thruout the world technically

Like if volcanoes erupt in Natlan, the archon and gods there help and u r also wanted/needed in person for it to work

U would still be powerful, but yeah like say the tree was u just playing genshin before,

The game automatically regulated diasters and stuff other than what was supposed to happen in game

◇

So kinda bouncing off that I read smwhere that the Na'vi dont actually view Eywa as like omnipotent or omniscient

(like the God™️ from the Christian bible for a example of what your not)

And also! Dont blame/attribute natural diasters, plagues, or other bad stuff on Eywa

So good for you whew 💦

Ur actually supposed to kinda just be the collective lifeforce or Teyvat/world and nature, and a defender and guide of life :0

Which kinda fits with the whole "upgrading characters" thing actually

◇

Okay but I saw somewhere in SAGAU tag someone did another name instead of Creator to spice it up and its "All-Mother"

And interestingly, Eywa in Avatar is also called that and "Great Mother"!!

How fun :0

Also, the reason Eywa still got people with free-will is bc they kinda described the relationship to Eywa being something like a mother or parent

Maybe where name/titles came from ig?

Either way, ppl be calling u all types of nicknames u aint heard before lmao

I mean ur sacred, they dont just say ur name,

Nobody knows ur real name or what u call yourself

Just what they call u

Bc they couldnt communicate with u super well before, (the bday letters were the closest they got verbally, and even then they had to be addressed somewhat to ur first vessel the traveler to get thru/be seen)

Otherwise yeah u operating them lets say before on Earth you rlly felt like an eldritch nature deity 💀

Cause u guide them in battles, strengthen their talents and skills and bodies, and feed them food

If they were in battle like needing healing food, u help them heal by consuming it for them so they dont have to take a snack break in battle and

Let me tell u, these denizens of Teyvat who have to constantly deal with magic and monsters and abyss stuff, so a stroll outside ur house gets u in a fight...

...They are very grateful for that needless to say.

Plus i like to think u make fighting easier on them bc ur "guiding" their bodies

◇

Anyway thats a long winded way to say, help me think of all the names Teyvat's given you lmao:

Eywa

All-Mother / Great Mother

All-Father / Great Father

All-Parent? / Great Parent

Creator

Their Grace

Great Puppeteer

The Puppeteer

Soul of Teyvat

Greatest Soul

☆

She aint long bc im not that creative and this idea has sm potential too😔

I would love to be Eywa sounds fun and powerful af and i dont get expected to be Jesus and they know i dont cause the natural diasters, like that sounds nice

Aight im no genius and this writing feels like im just rambling like a drunk guy sittin on the sidewalk mumbling to myself, i had to stop writing 💀

Like that energy specifically-

So lmk if yall got any other cool titles or names :0

I couldn't think of anymore :/

Also srry about the updating this post and making u check back in if u already read this before i put the taglist

(Me putting the taglist means im done editing/writing this dw if u seein this)

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[llumimoon]

Pssst Cal in a dndads Voltron AU which teen do you think would control each lion? ,':) (yeah Hermie is included here lol there's 5 lions after all!)

BABA YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ... I ALREADY ASSIGNED ALL THE TEENS LIONS BEFORE. I'VE THOUGHT ABT IT TWICE NOW WITH LIKE A MONTHS LONG GAP BETWEEN..... You came to the right place is all I'm saying JWBEVAJHAHAHA

Okay lets get the most obvious one to me out of the way, which is Link in the Yellow Lion. Like. First of all the fact that Yellow is A LEG and also Yellow representing kindness .... I think he really does support the team and grounds them in many aspects. Also Yellow is bulky like a dnd paladin LMAO it just makes the MOST sense to me? Yellow also being the color I associate with Link so maybe that gives me a slight bias lmaooo

The rest are. LESS clear to me. I HAVE already settled on an arrangement I'm more or less okay with but I could make a lot of arguments for alternative placements !! I will also admit maybe the places I settled on are a little color biased?

The Lions DO kind of have traits associated with each one except its. much less clear in some cases than others and I had to be a little flexible bc in my opinion NONE of the teens r like . smart enough for the Green Lion JWBECWUAGAHAA like they're all smart in their own ways and I do bend some rules a little to make their smarts work as an argument but I feel like Green is more book smart than anything which makes it difficult.

Uhmmm everyone else from here on out has at least two lions I could argue for and then I'll say which one I settled on? But like if you disagree thats totally fair LMAO like I said many assignments can be considered

Scary I mainly thought about the Black or Red Lion... There's the whole. Scary's the leader! Thing and also the idea of power corrupting... but also she can be pretty impulsive which is why I considered Red, also her tendency to have fire based magic mishaps LMAO I think Scary shows a lot of growth and inner reflection and also she has good insight on how the others seem to be feeling even if she doesn't always act on it or use it in the right way, so I could see that as the markings for the beginning of a Black Lion learning to be the leader type arc? Also to be honest shes the Main and practically Only contender for Black so she ends up getting it by default.

Hermie I think could be the Blue or Green Lion. I don't actually remember if they say IN THE SHOW what the Blue Lion stands for, but like. I've read so much Lance fanfic LMAO that to me it stands for Flexibility and what is Hermie if not flexible. Maybe too flexible? In the sense of. She will fill any role that is needed or given to her, like water will. I also thought Green bc to me Hermie is a character who is VERY in his head. Like they overthink to the point of looping back around to stupid again but also shes always playing mind games with other people. Hermie seems to always be one step ahead or at least is good at pretending they are. Also you can say the nature stuff is Hermie in his poison ivy era. Green is also pretty small and easy to damage which lines up with how fragile he is in a fight and maybe you could make an argument for the camouflage being like shapeshifting? idk. Anyways I decided on Green I think.

Normal I think I'm biased bc he's my fav and Lance was my old fav and I already made a post before about how I think they're similar and would get along and ANYWAYS LMAO I think its clear I gave him Blue. Something something, the legs being the support of the team something something water meaning flexibility but also ice can be stubbornness something something how I associate Normal (and lowkey the Doodler) with water (a whole nother thing to get into u can ask me to elaborate later) etc. I also played around with the idea of him in Red as Scary's right hand bc . shakes them . I think it could possibly fit but not as well? Fire isn't really Normals thing. I also briefly considered him for Black bc Normal is usually the one pushing the group towards a certain goal, but also his plans kind of never end up going through so I was like hmm not sure about that one. Blue I think is the best fit for him in the end which is why everyone else ended up where they did.

TAYLOR. Ok process of elimination you probably already figured out that I chose Red for him BUT I also considered Blue and Green. Green is fun bc you can play with his roughish abilities, like hiding and sneak attacks. His knowledge is more obscure facts and survival skills but I think it's enough to be a contender! I cannot explain the Blue stuff its all vibes in my head but trust me . I think also leaning into, Blue and Yellow are the legs that support and stabilize the team thing, Taylor is actually pretty good at keeping a cool head all things considered. Red, yes maybe slightly process of elimination but COME ON ITS BIG SWORD AND ALSO FIRE POWERS!!! Taylor would love that shit. Also going zoom zoom fast. Also the Red Lion is the second in command/right hand of the Black Lion and it just fits Taylor's protagonist vibes LMAO I think he usually is off doing is own thing which is also very Red Lion.

So to summarize: Scary Black, Taylor Red, Hermie Green, Link Yellow and Normal Blue.

Again I could totally see the justification for shuffling them around a bit but this is the assignments I settled on? The colors lining up is also nice I will not lie. I also could see an alternate universe where Normal is Red, Hermie Blue and Taylor Green, I think thats my second most favorable arrangement.

LMAO SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO MAKE THIS SO LONG I'VE JUST THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT IT BEFORE. AS YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE. I take sorting my characters into categories VERY seriously 😤 enrichment for me.

[ohbo-ohno]

Hehehe hello Im the anon that made the super long ask about how you came to write Simon in the way you do!

Thank you so, so much for answering that! It’s so fun to get to take a peek inside a writers head - especially one who creates the most delicious & fucked up stories like you do 😂 you’re so talented, Bo! Like seriously, I’m not blowing smoke up your butt when I say that. You make the characters larger than life when you write for them and it is so amazing!

I haven’t seen you write for this scenario, but I also may be missing it so please correct me if you’ve already done this! But in your mind, what would Simon be like for a woman he just met?

Would he still do the pet play? Would he ever approach it slowly, or will he always be a “take what he wants” character in your stories?

i would truly die for you

idk why but for some reason petplay for ghost alwaysss works better for either ghoap or ghoap/reader in my head - i think soap is more of a pup than ghost is an owner, ykwim? i dont really think ghost would be calling his gf puppy without Other Pup Influences, yeah? does that make sense?? who knows

have you read ceil's fic dogteef, or early's fic bloody and rare? bc that's essentially exactly how i think ghost would react to just wanting a pretty girl he sees. im all out of writer juice recently and tbh i dont think i could do that vibe better than either of those fics!!

tldr, ghost will ALWAYS be a "take what he wants" character in my stories. im sitting here thinking about it and i genuinely dont know if i can think of a scenario (i'd write) where he wouldn't just take what he wants lmaoo

[ceedaryaps]

Final Gambit Yap session

Soooo I finished the final gambit the third book in the Hawthorn Legacy series. I'm not gonna lie my main thought for each chapter was "Gray don't piss me off."

Overall this third book kind of fell off for me??? Like first book was okay, and I really liked the second book, but this book I really feel like they were trying to shove so many twists and turns in such a small timeframe that we really didn't even have time to sit down and be like, "Shit Tobey is in trouble," "Shit Eve shouldn't be trusted." I just personally feel like the pace moved sooo fast.

On top of that idk how I feel about the characters in this book. I actually finally warmed up to Avery in this third book bc homegirl was finally standing on business. She really tried to clock Eve and I love that for her bc WE ALL KNEW THAT GIRL WAS WEIRD LETS BE FR. I'm glad jameson stood beside her to but GRAY.

Dont pisss me awf.

The way that Gray switched up on Avery sooooo quick just bc Eve looked like Emily pissed me off. I fully understand that this is a sore spot for Gray but he has been going on and on about him being the heir and him needing to compose himself but as soon as Eve came in that mf turned into a brainless idiot. Bro was so mad at Avery for being suspicious of her he failed to see how obviously weird she was. Tobey didn't want her there for a reason, she asked specific questions for a reason SHE LEGIT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. Like Gray USE YOUR BRIAN USE YOUR BRAIN USE IT THAT THING IN YOUR HEAD! Like she couldnt be more obvious but Gray was like "Looks like Emily close enough." I knew Gray was cooked when he called her Evie rhyming with Emily. idk i feel like Gray is one more Emily look-alike away from turning into Rebecca mom.

Can we also talk about how they just brushed past the fact that Xander's dad actually WANTED him and wanted to fight for custody of him. Skye and Tobias Hawthorn if you have no haters i am dead. For most of the boys dads not wanting to be in their lives and this man WANTED his son. I wish we could have seen more of what the both of them are feeling. Imagine seeing your son/dad for the first time and they want to be with you.

When I got to the ending I really wasn't surprised to find out why Avery was picked to inherit everything. It's just like a rich person to pick a random citizen to take the fire. Tobias really gave the fortune to Avery so his sons wouldn't have to deal with his mistakes which I can understand people are like "Aw he cared about his grandsons" and he also fucked over a bunch of people and damn near sentenced Avery to death just bc she was smart. bro really said "My bad I did this bc id rather you die than them sawry but hey you made it this far!" I would have been pissed if I was her.

So I dooo have the spin-off book The Brothers Hawthorn but imma take a break from that series and start something new. I'm currently reading Hooked, yeah that one book from Booktok. But in the next few days, ill post about season 1&2 of Bridgerton and queen charlotte so look out for those!

[ragingbullmode]

I'm a baby goth who really wants to get better at makeup and more specifically eyeliner similar to what you do. Do you have any products or tips you reccomend for getting started? I try to look up advice online but it's overwhelming and it's kinda embarrassing to ask for advice irl.. ty in advance if you decide to answer this.

hi !! idk how good my advice will be but ill do my best to answer as well as i can !

as a heads up i freehand everything but i have seen people use the tape method to keep their liner/eyeshadow straight (which is just putting a piece of scotchtape on the side of ur eye where u plan to have a straight area of liner)

i found using water activated liner helped me a Lot when i started doing more graphic looks at the end of last year (since its water activated u can easily just wipe it off with a makeup wipe or wet tissue) but there is a difference in feel when applying it compared to using a liner pen (to me at least) ie the brush length makes it easier for me to do the smaller details as it gives me more control, but once i got a good feel for doing stuff like that it made using the pen easier. water activated is also much better if u plan on more colorful looks; liner pens do come in colors but they dont pop as well or as bright as the water liners.

as for making ur liner symmetrical… not sure how to give the best advice for that 🤔 the way i do it is ill line out one eye with the outline of what i want to do & try to match the other eye best i can. i have shakey hands but ive found planting my elbow on my desk table & my lining hand on my cheek really helps to stabilize myself so my lines come out straight. to straighten out my lines (like if i made one side to thick) ill just wipe a smidge of it with a wet cotton pad with water liners, but when i use a liner thats waterproof i use micellar water or a make up wipe to fix it.

as for my lids i use a mehron skin prep toner (its the only product ive found that works for my Very oily lids, but its definitely not for everyone… stings like SHIT if its in ur eye especially since i am… not supposed to use it for what i have been 😬. adding that bc if i do t use it sometimes the oil will denature the liner & smear it all over my lids lol. on top of that i put foundation & whatever eyeshadow i want on top of that when the foundation is dry enough it wont smear. putting liner over whatever u layered on ur lids is a commitment & a little hard to fix if u want to put the liner on in 1 go which is why i recommend practice & playing around !!

dont be scared about it not looking nice at that start, just start with something simple to get that feel for it so u can work up to what u want 👍

as for products, i got my water inks from bymelolops (latina owned, based in puerto rico !) i bought this liner brush (and a few water inks as well) from gavissi. my eyeshadow is mostly sugarpill (i only buy when its on sale, its a little pricey but worth it) but if ur on more of a budget colourpop has good options. as for liner pens, ive been using the last of my nyx liner, but am looking for a good alternative (loreal supports isr*el) so im unfortunately not much help here as im Also on the look out 😮‍💨

i definitely suggest getting some cheap stuff to play around with !! many places like sephora & ulta also sell small sample sizes of liners so u can get one of those to try out before u commit to something. a lot of what i started with years ago came from the dollar store bc that was all i could afford at the time lolll

[hyenagurl]

This sounds mean but is coming from a well-meaning place: why are you upset about that moid coworker. So he was nice to you, until you come to work with hickeys (kinda trashy but we’ll let it slide) and now he’s a dick. So he’s nice until he is shown evidence you had a romantic encounter with someone else. This moid is the equivalent of “add nice tokens until sex comes out.” The fact he switched up so fast the second he thought you fucked someone else ⁉️ He was never a nice guy, he never liked you, he wanted to smash and that’s it. He doesn’t see you as a person, he sees you as something to be used and discarded- once he saw someone “used” it first, he moved directly to discarding. Use your head babe, he showed his true colors. xx luv ya

no no youre right but 😭 well it just sucks to have someone show their colors like this. part of what hurts is that it really was night and day, like a complete 180, and nobody notices but me and insists its just bc he got dumped when this started happening well before that…

ive been keeping my eye on him too. hes friendly with everyone. it feels like hes going out of his way to chat everyone up - and then when im talking to someone nearby he does his best to look away. yesterday i did something bad mannered without thinking about it (tore open a packet of aspirin, spat out a piece of it😭) and he came over and was like “why would you do that, that was disgusting and inappropriate.” he has never lectured me like that. and it was the first time he spoke to me in like days. i thought he was joking!

but that was not the worst. today it came to a head, i saw him smirking and i snapped. i asked to speak to him privately (after him initially ignoring me, with an “i guess… 🙄”) and we went to the back. he kept working while i was trying to speak to him, and when i moved in front of him, he could barely even look me in the eye and he had this big dumb nervous grin on his face, and kept laughing like “haha whats the problem? 😅” granted i kept him off guard and i honestly hadnt meant to, but still. i couldnt believe how rude he was being, even if he was nervous. he used to be so courteous!

i was angry and fighting back tears bc i would literally rather die than cry in front of a man like that, so i kept my voice as calm as i could be and was like “whats going on? i understand youre going through something hard rn, but it feels like somethings wrong between us and idk why.” he brushed it off again, still laughing and smiling, and i said “well youve been acting differently for weeks, and you only speak to me now just to lecture me.” he rambled some more bullshit, like “idk sometimes i just dont have anything to say.”

yeah, right. if theres not a problem, then who just has nothing to say to someone in a matter of a DAY?

i couldnt do anything with that and i was pretty upset, so i just told him id be here when he was ready to talk and made sure to stay away from him. then after weeping in the group chat, i was a huge mess, and then my other (male) but honestly sweet coworker saw and figured out what happened and comforted me..

okay so yeah. this is whats so upsetting. its not so much i miss our flirty dynamic - its that a coworker is pulling psychological petty high school bullshit over seemingly nothing - or worse, you and i are right, and hes icing me out for having a sex life! i feel like im going nuts!!!!

[snowfoxsakura]

Genshin-sona/self instert thingy wooooo

(I inserted the plushie i have irl too bc why not)

her name is still Sakura despite beng from sumeru but i'll explain that in a sec))

long and kinda sad/trauma filled/edgy backstory bc im incapable of making happy backstories for my self inserts))

She is the child of 2 adventurers from sumeru. as a toddler she always joined her parents' adventures. one day as they were going to inazuma through a ship they came across a big storm. that storm wrecked the ship and seperated her from her parents. no matter how much she tried to go near her parents and save them she couldnt do anything as a little girl. as what remained of the wrecked ship was sinking she hit her head, seeing a light blue light before falling unconscious.

she was later found by a wlw youkai couple on an inazuman shore unconscious, holding her plushie and a cryo vision, protected by a cryo shield. a shield that broke only when she woke up. Due to the head injuries and the trauma she suffered, she had forgotten alot of stuff including her own name and the faces of her parents. the 2 youkai decided to adopt her as they have always wanted a child and gave her the name sakura because of her pink eyes and flower shaped pupils. the 3 later moved to sumeru in order to be safe from the vision hunt decree.

Growing up she was surprisingly energetic and happy. she had a big imagination that made playing house with other kids so much fun and she gained a reputation for coming up with the wildest scenarios and stories.

She was never interested in being an academia researcher. her interest was more in visual arts and crafts. drawing, painting, crocheting etc. but her biggest passion was sharing her stories so she started practicing acting, later getting in zubeyr theater. quickly befriending alot of people there including Nilou.

due to her childlike nature people are very 50/50 about her. some find it cute, some dislike it. but her childish nature and big imagination caused her to be the only grown up who can dream and see the aranara in sumeru ((yeah even the akasha couldn't completely make her unable to dream, it limited her creativity alot tho))

in her dreams she would play with the aranara and lesser lord kusanali, who she knew as nahida and thought she is just a regular kid until the samsara incident.

outside of theater work she likes to take walks around the forest and draw anything she thinks is pretty. she always carries her pencils, brushes and paints in the bag she made herself.

in the archon quest she helped the traveler figure out they are in a repeating dream with nahida, who she found out is lesser lord kusanali way before the traveler.

if she was in the game she would probably appear in the nahida archon quest and any quest relating the aranara

for her world quest,i think it would be about her finding out about her birth parents and real name through the irminsul and her dreams with nahidas help. that would make for some emotional cutscenes xp

Playstyle: she is a cryo catalyst support and shielder. her skill makes a shield and creates energy particles when enemy hits the shield. her burst freezes enemies without needing hydro kinda like Zhongli's burst, also applies cryo to enemies and buffs elemental reaction dmg

i feel like she'd be a 5 star but idk y'all can decide

and before you ask,

Yes our oc's can be friends :3 and you can draw them together

(only as friends tho, or maybe mentor/ student too, idk just dont make it romantic, she already has a bf lolol

i might post him soon too)

[plural-culture-is]

Im questioning wether i should even ask, im so hesitant about this.

Every time i go into a depressive period, i question in im really trans, if im really plural, ocd kicks in and worries about ways i might be awful.

So bear with me, if you dont answer this or the answer is painfully obvious or whatever i wouldn’t hold it against you.

As a young child i was severely abused by my father, and when we got away there was a period i don’t remember where i was in “psychosis” (quotes bc uncertainty), where i became an ape and was lost. I have only one memory from that time, where i came out of that to my mother calling my name and holding me. I only know of this time period because my mom told me about it.

Much later, when i was lonely i started to have imaginary friends, and i told my mom about them and she actually introduced the very beginning concept of tulpas to me and idfk why but she said that if they become aware and i stop being their friend they may get angry, and that sentient imaginary friends are called a tulpa. I worried about this, and idk if it was just my paranoia or something else but i did start to actualy get a vibe from my main imaginary friend like awareness, i could almost feel thoughts happening that were just sorta beyond a barrier. I stopped before anything else could happen, and i cried to my mom i was worried that my imaginary friend would hate me and become malevolent. She said that i’ll be alright, and that my imaginary friend probably still loves me.

(This is where things get confusing)

Few years gap, i am still very lonely but probably more, i start having the beginning signs of depression i think.

My mom started getting into new age stuff and psychic things, and i asked for a pendulum of my own to talk to spirits, one of which i formed a relationship with and even a “psychic link” (talking to eachother with our minds) and at some point after intrusive thoughts, some unhappiness and this other voice that would pretend to be that one, i stopped for fear of getting posessed.

Around this time, watched and listened to a lot more conspiracy theories in my house than we did before, stuff like you’d find on Gaia TV or Joe Rogan and others to give well-known examples. I would hear about people contacting or being contacted psychically by aliens, notably these ones colloquially called the Blue Avians. There was also a videogame i played at the time with alien bird people too. In anycase, i was lonely (and tbh kinda grieving no longer talking to the spirit one?) got the idea to deliberately try and make a psychic link out in the universe and i made one, i managed to talk to a blue avian and started what i thought a romantic relationship looked like with them. I talked to and interacted with them every day, very often. I eventually met another two “aliens” through them and now i was talking to 2-3 beings mentally for a while, while they told me about life in their world.

I went through a lot of denial and that i was crazy or it was in my head, which i mean yeah. I later remembered what my mom told me about years ago: tulpas. That sounds about right. And with my new internet access i looked into it, i found i was already doing what those people were or atleast i was pretty sure. But some things werent adding up, many of them said a tulpa was more a mental construct and that they 1, couldnt be mean to you for example, 2, couldnt talk besides when you wanted them to and so on, mine were too autonomous i guess. In anycase, i continued but acted both as if they were real alien beings elsewhere and a mental construction for a while. At some point then i found out about DID and saw eery similarities, that was my second theory about what was going on. At around this time i broke away from the conspiracy aliens thing, and started thinking more about spirits, and would talk to random and re-occuring ones often. At around this point but maybe well before i started to fall into psychosis and a lot of intrusive thoughts and even hallucinations. At this point i was going through a lot and all these conflicting and inconsistent worldviews were starting to get to me, aswell as me starting to realize but not knowing outright that i was queer. I learned more things that werent conspiracy theories or new age stuff, and i finally broke. I describe it as litterally there was countless pieces of my mind fighting eachother, as verbally and not and everything was clashing. I am not using metaphore here. I felt separated from my body and in a haze, much like when im co-conscious and not in “the driver’s seat”. I fell further into psychosis too. Eventually something was said that made my different conflicting worldviews a little more compatible on paper, and i survived. Then was recovery, still talking to “spirits” and stuff and even aliens. Up to and before this point my family was obsessed with “shadow work”, aka forcing yourself to look at trauma unessecarily. I was partly doing this bc i worried that me being queer was somehow from my father abusing me as a child. This is part of what contributed to that shattering.

So skipping a bunch of tedium, i started operating as if i was plural after a while of debunking stuff , i figured out that yes i definitely am queer and that its not a bad thing, but i still had doubts.

I still talk to my presumed alters often, but there is some funny business:

After setting up some walls or rooms in headspace, they don’t intrude as much and i dont hear them unless i wanna and vice versa

Im struggling to tell if its my internal echolalia or if its me saying everything they say, and sometimes the line is blurrier

They can say things on their own even things that surprise me, but so can i sorta

im almost certain we can’t full switch, or if we can im not sure if i will have any experience while the other is fronting, does this make us monoconscious?

We can go co-conscious pretty much on demand whenever we feel like it, and we can do a partial switch too i just have to relax and allow it

Im pretty much always fronting fully or partially, and always watching when another is fronting

I cant mentally hear them when i talk too, i either have to go quiet or pause for them, and when i do talk it either is too much chatter i cant process or i automaticaly somehow mute my minds ears to them. But, due to autism, talking even to ppl outside my head is like this where i either speak or listen no inbetween

I want to hopefully finally solve this and get on with my life. Thanks for reading/answering if you do

sorry, this ask has been our inbox too long and we haven't been able to come up with a response, so we're handing it off to the public to answer

[bluehwale]

SO I was like travelling in bus for my.classes nd im usually a person in public transport who is like quiet minds my own business nd doesnt talk to anyone cuz maybe either om too sleepy or using my phone nd yesterday in saw this guy on my bus he was wearing all black suit nd he had his ear pierced (cuz men over here dont like to pierce their ears cuz its feminine 💀) nd that guy was standing in front of me I was like observing him like I liked men black tuxedo okay cuz they look so good 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😮‍💨😮‍💨nd I was thinking of completing his outfit nd I was like contemplating whether should I or should I not nd I was get so FUCKING anxious 😭😭 like me who has never complimented a stranger (not even a women is going nd complimenting a MAN ITS A BIG THNG ND IM LITERWLLY MY MIMD EAS SO BUSY DESPITE RUNNING ON 4HRS OF SLEEP) nd ykw im the end I ended up complimenting him nd before my stop I said ur outfit looks really good nd I like ur bag too nd he was literally smiling ear to ear so cite nd before he could say smth my stop came I was literally SCREAMING THE WHOLE WAY UNTIL I FOUND MY SENIOR 😭i jad to pull my my shit together nd talk to him ndi after I finished talking to him I was literally screaming nd sending voice notes to my frnd (hey sending voice notes r a BIG THING nd I never send voice texts unless I cant type.out my thoughts nd to arrange them properly im a text message nd I couldn't call the fuck.down I LEGIT WENT TO RESTROOM ND SCREAMEDDDDDD WELLL im becoming more loose like ND WJEM I COMPLIMENT ITS LIKE I DESCRIBE EVERY ASPECT OF IT ND TELL IT TO PPL ND IT ENDS UP WITH THEM BLUSHING ND I WAS Literally TRYIJG MY BEST NOT TO STUTTER 🥴🥴ND I ENDED UP GWTTING SHT AFTER GIVING THE COMPLIMENT 😭😭😭💀💀LIZ IT WAAS LIKE A ROLLER COASTER ND I TOLD ANT THIS TO 3 OTHER FRNDS ND THEY ALL HAD fucking diverse opinions like 😞😞😞imma cotinue it in the next ask 🥴🥴

olay so I told abt my adventure to 3other frnds one of then whom I told first thought I jad a crush on the gut like a fleeting crush who im never gonna see again (sue was genuinely.confused olay so o said I just liked how he dressed up nd yes black tum 💀🥴🥴im on my knees okay )

another frnd I told (she is the most logical one) she said guys get less compliments than girls nd u just made his day nd said when u get dressed up nd someone acknowledges it u are jiet over the moon nd she was also proud of me for implementing a stranger cuz it takes alot of courage

thw last.frnd I told she said u go on doing this nd make.every guy fall for.u 😭 im like im an over exaggerator who compliments in a very descriptive way nd I cant change it cuz it what it is nd imo descriptive compliments >>>>one line compliments (idk why I prefer it )

anw liz have a good day taake care of urself.ilyyy (2/2)

MISS DIORWOO!!!! IM ALWAYS THE HAPPIEST GIRL WHENEVER I HEAR FROM U <33 (my response is under the cut, u better bUCKLE UP !!)

HI HELLO SORRY IM??? ON THE FLOOR??? ALL BLACK SUIT WITH HIS EARS PIERCED???? PHEW 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 U BETTER SIGN ME UP BCS I ALSO LIKE MEN IN BLACK TUXEDOS rawr (also i’d probably simp for u if i ever see u in a bus BCS U GIVE OFF THE MYSTERIOUS QUIET VIBES😵‍💫sorry oops off topic!! ANYWAYS) SMNDNDNDNS RUNNING ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP BUT U STILL HAVE UR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT MHM I KNOW THATS RIGHT !!!!

ANNDNDB. FBDBDBSBSJJSJSS KYAAAAAAAAWQAAASSS WHEN U COMPLIMENTRD HIM OMGG FNDNDHDJ 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 HIM SMILING EAR TO EAR !!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 HELLO THIS IS LIKE THE START OF A ROMANCE MOVIE ?????? A SCENE OF THIS (ghibli style) IS LITERALLY PLAYING IN MY HEAD RN I CAN SEE THE VISION OMG AND 😭😭😭 STOPPPPP HE DIDNT GET TO SAY ANTUTHING BEFORE U GOT OFF UR STOP OMGMDNDHDHD IM SO UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH THIS WOULD BE A HOLLYWOOD HIT ISTG 😭😭 also

u: *internally screaming and dy1ng* 🧍‍♀️

ur senior: 😃👋 (HE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT U JUST WENT THRU!!!!!)

ALSO URE RIGHT VOICE NOTES ARE A BIG THING!!! JSNSJSJJSHS I WOULD ALSO DO THAT IF I WERE U BCS MY HANDS WOULD BE SHAKING AND I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO TYPE 😭😭😭 (im hoping no janitors were traumatized in that toilet </3) ALSO YEAH UR COMPLIMENTS ARE SERIOUSLY THE BEST ITS PEAK BCS I BLUSH BEHIND MY SCREEN ALL THE DAMN TIME !!! JWBDJSJSJ

A FLEETING CRUSH WHO U WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN???? PLS DONT BREAK MY HEART NOOOO 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😞😞😞😞😞 (im gonna manifest that u’ll meet him again soon I HAVE MY PRAYER CIRCLE READY !!!!! 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️) honestly,,,,, so relatable i too would get on my knees for any man who dresses well and esp in black (the bar is so low its IN HELL)

NAH BCS IM GONNA GO WITH UR LAST FRIEND BCS IM PRETTY SURE HE FELL IN LOVE WITH U !!!!!! WHEN U COMPLIMENTRD HIM AND UR GAZE MET HIS, THATS WHEN HE KNOWS !!! ITS U !!!! U’RE THE ONE HES BEEN LOOKING FOR (sorry im obv over the mOON THIS IS TOO CUTE) but yeah im also so 🥺🥺proud🥺🥺 of u for complimenting a stranger bcs that takes balls that i dont hv I MEAN IVE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO DO IT BUT IK I WOULD GET 😨😨😨 *sweats* 😨😨😨 AND “hi i just wanna say that i rlly like ur outfi- well would u looK at that cat over there!! aHaHahah” WOULD PROBABLY COME OUT OF MY MOUTH INSTEAD SNBDDNNSNS (i hv 0 rizz) but anyWAYS IT PROBABLY MADE HIS WHOLE DAY AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOU’VE BECOME “THE GIRL IN THE BUS” TO ALL HIS FRIENDS BCS HE WOULD FOR SURE TELL EVERYONE THAT HE GOT A COMPLIMENT FROM U </333333 (im suffering thats so cute) U’RE IMMORTALIZED IN HIS HEAD AND IN HIS STORIES !!!!!

i loVE the way u give compliments u’re literally the sweetest and i know hE thinks that too </3 im hoping for another adventure of u meeting that guy OR ANYONE ELSE IN PARTICULAR REALLY BCS EEEEEK THIS MADE MY WHOLE DAY I LOVED THIS SM SNSBDBDNSBNSS 😭😭😭😭

thanku sm for sharing this adventure of urs !!! 🥺🥺🥺 i missed u and i love u and i hope u have a great day as well !!! take care always <333

p.s. I NEED UPDATES IF U EVER SOMEHOW MEET THIS GUY AGAIN👹👹👹👹 UNIVERSE !!!! DO UR THING !!! 👹👹���👹

hashtag my current mood:

[thegirlisuedtobe]

Hi there! First thank you always for translating the Rebecca interviews they are really fun and interesting to read. Seeing some of your comments you made about the Korean Dannys views on romance/homosexuality I was curious. When I first read the novel which was a long time ago, my interpretation of Danny and Rebecca’s relationship was 50/50 maybe really lovers but could also just be some type of non-romantic attachment. After watching the Korean production I feel that there’s a stronger implication of them being lovers. Some Rebecca fandom friends that I know are on the skeptical side I guess about them being real lovers so this is a topic that interests me. I was curious do you think you would’ve still thought of Danny and Rebecca as lovers if it wasn’t for the Korean production/Ock Joohyun? Really wanted to know your thoughts about that! Actlly I want to think of them as lovers but like if asked to defend why I think they’re lovers I’m not sure I’d personally be able support my view properly with evidence or anything since I’m not the good at analysis type etc haha. I hope this makes sense? Thx

Tbh it's kind of hard to say I feel that way 100% with no bias but,,,

(lol under the read more bc i ended up rambling)

Actually, the way I got into Rebecca was I discovered joo hyuns performance > i read the wiki > i watched a subtitled version of the german performance > I watched the Korean production > then I read the book > then I translated the Korean script further and read interviews.

Joo Hyun's performance was only just her singing the Rebecca long reprise at the top of act two, it wasn't really a song that incredibly showcased her interpretation or feelings towards the dynamic between rebecca and danny. when I read the wiki I was already thinking danny and rebecca sounded gay as hell and even watching the albeit reserved german production i felt like the specific situation that danny was found it alluded to that lover dynamic. like im a lesbian LOL so I kind of immediately went hey theres another lesbian right there. When it came to how maxim talked about rebecca it only further cemented in my mind that rebecca was also a lesbian. so like even from the german production, i felt that rebecca and danny were lesbians and had something together. now whether that something was balanced is another story, but i deff in my heart knew that they were some kind of secret lovers.

i don;t think in my mind that i ever had any doubt that rebecca and danny had some kind of more than mistress and servant relationship, and i dont think that i ever doubted that it was ever one sided. idk i just felt it in my gut. But i also moved on from the german production quite quickly when i got a copy of the rebecca production. that initial feeling of theyre lesbians really bloomed into oh they really loved each other when i got to the korean production and joo hyunie was pulling out all the stops. like the way she was acting,,, there was this palpable sense of love, the kind of love that felt equal. i've also talked about this before in one of my review essays (on my writing blog) but i think the contrast of her age against the older german dannys did a lot of work to bring that love closer to "lovers" and a more balanced dynamic imo.

i remember talking to a german rebecca fan and they talked a lot about doing a lot of contextualising and rationalising, trying to bend the script into a way that danny and rebecca were something in a mutual sense. i remember being really confused about that. like they had to put a lot of mental energy into rationalising that they were "mutual lovers" whereas it felt innate to me that they were.

Re: the age contrast. When I finally got to reading the book as well, in my mind i thought danny and rebecca grew up together as children (the line where danny has been with rebecca since she was young). also please note that i'm asian so like cultural aspects of rebecca flew over my head at times, but when i read it thats what i thought that line meant. but i talked to a european rebecca friend of mine and they said danny is referred to as governess and usually theyd be at least like 20 so when danny says she was with rebecca since childhood she meant in an overseeing kind of way; child and carer relationship. me not knowing that cultural thing impacted the balance i saw in their relationship which is why its also interesting that a lot of the korean dannys felt the same way i felt.

i haven't read the korean translation of rebecca so i dont know how they translate that cultural aspect/line but joo hyun, shin young sook, jang eun ah and kim sun young as i have just discovered all thought that danny grew up with rebecca. that her mother was rebecca's nanny and because of their close proximity grew up together. even before reading the interviews where these dannys said that, i also thought that was the case. so maybe its a culture thing?

but because of that, the relationship felt balanced enough that i felt like it was mutual. compounded by the more emotive ways that joo hyunie was expressing just how much she loved rebecca, it felt like a no brainer to me that they loved each other exclusively. sure rebecca was out and about having sex, but it wasnt sex out of love, it felt like sex out of fun or a habitual need, it felt like it meant entirely nothing to her. ergo her "love" (the kind beyond just physical sex) was only for danny. ive always felt very certain of that.

i think your feeling of not being able to defend danny and rebecca mutual relationship is understandable. there's so much ambiguity in the original text that its difficult to say that this thing points directly to this, or lots of lines could mean different things to different people. i'm always the opinion of rebecca is a mirror and depending on what themes or ideas or messages that u pick up, it's really just a reflection of what u want to see most. now whether i agree with another person's image of rebecca through that mirror is an entirely differnt matter, but i can't help but feel that way with danny and rebecca. its like,,, all i can say is, have you looked at them?? dont they seem that way to you??

lol im sure if i put my head into it i could make an essay to "prove" that theyre in a mutual relationship, and i know theres plently of evidence that i could pick out, but the gut feeling has been there from the start!

[madame-fear]

In 500 words or less please explain why you love Lukey poo pie so much

My time has come. *intense hand rubbing*

Ah, where do I begin explaining my never ending adoration for Lucerys?

I have to admit that at first sight, when he appeared on episode 8, I hadn’t paid much attention to him until ep. 10; and what had drawn me the most to him initially, was his very endearingly sweet personality.

Idk what about him but the fact that he felt insecure about being the next Lord of Driftmark and him thinking he wasn’t as perfect as his mother was AND RHAENYRA PAMPERING HIM LIKE A LITTLE BABY MADE MY ENTIRE HEART SWELL FOR HIM BECAUSE I WANTED TO COMFORT HIM TOO AUIDKFKGJEIDJR

That was what began making me feel a bit more attatched to him. Idk why I hadn’t focused on him when he felt insecure of being stared at when Jace and him where on Kings Landing, but I guess I found his attitude on the last episode even cuter than in the previous episode where he appeared.

And I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA WHY, BUT WHEN I SAW HIM TRAINING WITH JACE AND GETTNG HIS OWN SWORD THROWN TO THE GROUND AND HIM GETTING DRAGGED THROUGH THE SAND BY JACE JUST MADE ME GO LIKE ????? HES SUCH A PATHETIC LITTLE DRAGON PRINCE I LOVE HIM SM!!!!!!

THERES SOMETHING ABOUT HIM BEING PATHETIC AND SUBMISSIVE BY NATURE (submissive bc i lack another word) THAT JUST WON MY HEART,, 💗🙏

But but but since I was in love with another fictional man, I didn’t want Luke to occupy my mind. I thought I liked the character and thought he was sweet, that was all... And I tried to keep it that way, but look at me now.

Please dont ask why I found his awful skills in fighting adorable to me. I just did and I still love how Luke was pathetically horrible at combat. There is something in that failure that makes him look even prettier and kissable.

And by the time the Storms End scene was coming/came, I simply swooned with adoration at how despite he was nearly shitting and peeing his pants at the thought of meeting Lord Baratheon, he still tried to make his mother proud and went to Storms End. I was having the building up of thinking just how brave and courageous Luke was in his own way, despite being scared/nervous.

DONT GET ME STARTED AT HOW AMUSED I WAS WHEN I HEARD HIM SPEAK HIGH VALYRIAN. I GRIPPED THE SHEETS AND FOUGHT BACK A SMILE. Also his focus on trying to escape and how prettily cool he looked with his hair wet just caught my attention.

Of course my heart shattered when he was eaten by Vhagar and Arrax got chomped off. And ever since, I never fully got him out of my mind. Lucerys might have been insecure and nervous, yes, but he was brave. And since I re-watched HOTD like 3 times (the 2 times I was already head over heels for him), I also found the way he tried to defend his brother when he saw Jace about to punch Aemond truly mesmerising.

Did he get face-planted on a plate full of food by Aegon? Yes, he did. Did he try his own way to defend his brother despite being bad at physical fighting? Also, yes. And that is what truly matters to me — his intentions to fight back for his family despite being bad at it.

Ok so maybe I made a big ramble there. But basically, what first made me be terribly attatched to him was just how preciously cute, timid, adorable, and pathetic he was (is). There was something in his behaviour that made me want to tightly embrace him, rub his back tenderly, and fill every inch of his face with tons of adoring smooches while telling him not to feel insecure about being the next Lord of Driftmark, and how he was perfect the way he was.

Now, getting onto his physical appearance. And when I say that was the last thing I focused on him when I was falling for Lukie Pookie, I genuinely mean it.

His hazel green eyes. Those gorgeous hazel green eyes of his, that make me want to stare at them tirelessly. Idk how to say it, but I find them to be so beautifully expressive. They are so precious, they look like a pair of jade gems. I sincerely adore how sometimes depending on the lighting they may look blue-ish, grey-ish, or just vividly green. My God, he swoops me off my feet with his way of staring.

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HIS PERFECTLY SWEET NOSE AND HIS ROSY LIPS!!!! you guys have no idea how many smooches I would place on the tip of his nose, and how I would love to softly trace it with the tip of my finger AHHFJRJXKENDJFJ and I wanna squish his rosy cheeks and caress them and just tell him how much I HOLD HIM VERY DEARLY ON MY HEART LIKE NO OTHER 💗💗💗

His hands and his skin looks soooo lovable. Lemme kiss his knuckles and every inch of his skin, and run my fingers through his messy but soft-looking hair mwah mwah mwah🥰🥰🥰😍😍🙏🙏

Okay so im very bad at explaining myself, especially when it comes to these type of things lmao but basically I adore his entire self. Like, literally; my heart could combust from all the adoration I feel for him, i can’t contain it anymore ughghghg

Basically, I love him so so much and so dearly because there’s something in him that I just find so sweetly melting. His insecure personality, yet courageous on his own way, makes me want to tightly hug him and hold him on my arms and tell Luke just how perfect I believe he is and why he should never think otherwise, and I just want to fill him with all the love and care he deserves to have. There is something adorable about him that I need to smother in with affection.

Gods im so awful at explaining my romantic feelings and this is LONGER than 500 words, but it had to be explained (probably in an awful rambling way, but still) 🥺🥰💘💘

[poryphoria]

mbbgg crackpot psychoanalysis time

ive seen a startling amount of people who just straight up Don't know who he is which is like kinda understandable when he doesn't show up in the animations but at the same time he has a full fledged bossfight in project nexus so * shrug *

but in effect i think his forgettability is a thing in-universe, too. he gets mike wazowski'd out of pictures of all 3 head scientists. people recognize & remember christoff n hofnarrs work all the time but if you ask them about the enmeshment program they just kinda.....?? so sorry?? or at best it's like a "oh, that? did that ever even go anywhere? sounded crazy lol idk how that even got approved"

i think his rivalry with christoff was super one-sided. it was everything to him but moreso a footnote annoyance to christoff. i kinda think abt the fact that christoff came back to nexus city, had every opportunity to have some sort of confrontation or final showdown with him like to "settle the score", and just Did Not. bc he was busy. with more important things

he has the ADHD cycle syndrome of "OH!! IM GONNA START ON THIS PROJECT AND ITLL BE AWESOME!!" -> "OK SUDDENLY I DONT FEEL LIKE WORKING ON THIS ANYMORE" -> "WHAT IF I STARTED A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THING INSTEAD" and that's why he never really got much done or is known for much. he was only really able to stick with the enmeshment program out of sheer spite for christoff and everyone else who thought it was insane

he has really awful anxiety that both feeds into and stems from all of this- he's afraid of bothering people and avoids asking for things if he can help it, so most of the time he just kinda fades into the background and keeps to himself. it kinda leads to this self perpetuating cycle of misery.

in general i like to think he was the youngest of the science team (only in his 40s at the time of joining nexus while hofnarr & christoff were closer to their 60s and 50s, respectively) nd like they're all adults by then who know better than to act like highschoolers, but it did sort of impact the way people treated him a little. like people just assumed he didn't have as much experience or was in over his head or didn't automatically know as much as everyone else

all of this also probably fed into autism related anger issues where he just had a tendency to snap at people and in general over completely benign things, n coupled with his Everything Else it kinda just made people. not wanna be around him.

he's emotionally constipated and can barely get a sentence out about the way he feels abt things without breaking down into tears and then the fact that he's crying over nothing frustrates him and he starts crying harder and then. well. you understand

overall he's just an incredibly world weary, drained person who is constantly being spoken over, forgotten and left behind to me and who leaps like a tick at any slight suggestion of attention or praise.

post-nexus, i think he behaves so differently bc he's finally just snapped over years of being a nobody and is fully dedicated to gouging himself into people's memory. he's super loud and flashy & flamboyant (flambuoyant?) and demands to be worshipped and praised and revered! he acts almost solely on impulse & intrusive thoughts and has to keep moving constantly and never stops to second-guess and refuses to be burdened by fears and worries.

hes my babygirl i have a lotta thoughts about him. i like picking his brain apart