#dont ask me what this formatting is i have no clue

[clawsandpaws-creativearchive]

𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚟𝚎'𝚜 𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚘 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜. » "𝙷𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘? 𝙸𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎?" 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚎. 𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚕, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚏𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚛. 𝚄𝚙 𝚊𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍…𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎? 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠?

~Cadoo 🐾 @tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

He's Loose...

Had to be super dramatic with GGTH!Don's entrance into the @tmnt-fandom-family-reunion He's now the camp's own not so little cryptid sighting. Anyone is welcome to try and interact with him while he's running amok. Try to calm him down maybe????

~Cadoo 🐾

[bth3cowboi]

snoop the bling, cs55xreader

part 1 part 3 part 4

masterlist

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

summary: summer break starts and that means traveling with a snoopy plushie and a boyfriend (or maybe a future husband). Also, his friend is there.

format: social media au

a/n: people asked for this and I deliver cause i love snoopy

( instagram )

ynraces 17h

liked by lewishamilton, f1 and 1.333.561 others

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, ynraces and 786.566 others

carlossainz55 Best way to spend summer😎☀️

tagged ynraces;

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user1 here before yn calls carlos his sweet baby or smh cute like that

ynraces SLUT

user1 oh that is not it

ynraces 🤤🔥I love u my unemployed princess

carlossainz55 I dont know what to think about this

carlossainz55 but I love you too😂

user2 WHERE IS THE CHILD, THE BABY

ynraces hes safe ashore!!

user3 wait im new, they have a baby??

user4 no😭😭 they call yn’s snoopy their baby

ynraces

liked by carlossainz, f1 and 808.445 others

ynraces Mallorca with my baby love💙🤿 (and carlos is here too)

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user1 thank you for the blessing (carlos photo)

user2 theres a snoopy, theres a like

user3 a snoopy is always gonna be there🙄 this is yn’s page

landonorris Enjoy your alone time for now😈

ynraces im expecting you with HATE btw dont come

landonorris I’ll be there soon and he’ll be with me😍🤞

ynraces youre sick!! homewrecker!!!

landonorris girl fuck your baby snoopy

ynraces BRO??? carlos say sum😭😭

carlossainz55 Please don’t fight in the comments❤️ you have the vacation for that

ynraces 🤡

user4 that snoopy deserves some rest god

carlossainz55 2h

liked by landonorris and 900.343 others

replies

landonorris

Oh she really doesn’t have a clue

carlossainz55

No😂

I didn’t insist either

Don’t want her to get suspicious

landonorris

I can’t wait to take the pictures now HAHA

Everything is ready btw just waiting for you both

carlossainz55

Ok👍

liked by landonorris

carlossainz55

liked by scuderiaferrari, ynraces and 1.455.320 others

carlossainz55 She said yes! ❤️💍 Thank you Yn for being the woman you are, I can’t wait to call you my wife. I love you more than anything in this world.

tagged ynraces;

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ynraces 🥹🥹 Love you soooo much

carlossainz55 ❤️❤️

user1 OMG OMG

user2 chat is this real??

user3 now thats a rockkkkk

charles_leclerc Congratulations guys😍❤️

carlossainz55 Thanks mate!

user4 imagine driving in f1 with your wife THE DREAM

landonorris Wow what a beautiful ring🤩 The friend that helped chose it must be the best

carlossainz55 🤫

ynraces u did great for once congrats

landonorris 🤩🤩

user5 Carlos must be crying and jumping seeing this interaction

user6 his wife and his boy lmao

ynraces

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 2.445.678 others

ynraces swipe for a surprise!🪐

tagged carlossainz;

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ynraces pinned Te amo mucho, Carlos. ❤️ You are my everything.

carlossainz55 Te amo tambien😁

user1 IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT?

user2 me 2 😭 I wish I saw Carlos post first

user3 wym I cant marry Yn anymore

user4 Ohhh are we going to see two sainz in the grid now

lewishamilton Congrats you two🫶

ynraces thank u lew!

user5 I was worried Snoopy wasn’t gonna be here but Yn delivered as always

landonorris Cool photos👍 Call me for the wedding too

ynraces I dont want you crying at the wedding too iugh

landonorris those were happy tears💔

( twitter )

——

a/n: The snoopy story continuous!! if you liked it and want to see more just say so🩷 my asks are open!!

[cloudyyoimiya]

hello cloudd. may i req any bsd character (i’d love to see doa though ahah i love them) get jealous over their s/o hanging out more with another bsd character, but they ‘can’t’ do anything because it’s a co-worker of theirs? i hope it makes sense.. totally isn’t an ask for yandere hcs

omg i’m so happy to see you in my inbox krei! anyways yes that made sense don’t worry! also i hope you dont mind that i actually did the main three of the doa! they all make me giggle and kick my feet

Their Darling Hangs Out With Their Coworker; Sigma, Nikolai Gogol, and Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Format: Headcanons

Possible warnings: Yandere/dark content, unhealthy relationships, jealousy, manipulation.

Sigma

Simply put, Sigma gets jealous very easily. You’re the meaning to his life, the candle that led him out of the dark. So when you started your friendship with Nikolai, Sigma was distressed.

He had no clue what to do with himself. Sigma cares about your happiness, so he wouldn’t try to do anything too rash, but he’d still want to distance you from him.

Sigma knows that Nikolai is a very unstable individual, so he was absolutely terrified of leaving you alone with him. If you and Nikolai happened to be in the casino, Sigma would constantly be watching you via security cameras. He wanted to make sure that the jester didn’t do anything… unsavory towards you.

It irritated Sigma that he couldn’t just get rid of Nikolai.

Nikolai was his coworker after all.

If he even laid a hand on him, Fyodor would know and he’d be severely punished.

It made Sigma want to rip his hair out.

It made him feel sick.

He absolutely hated it.

If he ever caught you getting put in danger, Sigma would immediately take you back from Nikolai and lock you up for a few weeks. He’d then lecture you about how terrible Nikolai is and how he’d hurt you in a snap.

Sigma might also feed you some lies about Nikolai. He knows everything about you; your likes and dislikes. He’d use that to his advantage and tell you how Nikolai did all of the things you don’t like with a serious expression.

Of course you believed him because he’d never lie to you, right?

He’d then try to guilt you into staying away from Nikolai for good measure. You wouldn’t want to upset your boyfriend and future spouse, would you? You don’t want to leave him, right?

In all honesty, he would be the best out of the three.

Nikolai Gogol

Let’s say for Nikolai you befriended Fyodor. The two of you would sometimes sit in his office and just talk, or sometimes he’d bring you out for some tea. Fyodor’s intent wasn’t anything romantic, he just thought that your views of the world were so.. interesting.

Being the good friend you are, you always joined him whenever he asked you to hang out.

Nikolai was absolutely stuck on what to do. He didn’t approve of your friendship with Fyodor one bit, but he was happy to see you getting along with someone he admired.

His conflicting feelings made him want to kill the rat. He absolutely hated feeling chained down his emotions like this.

It left such a bitter taste in his mouth.

He’d do anything to make it stop.

One time he actually did come close to killing Fyodor.

You were out at a bookstore and Fyodor had joined you. Nikolai would have stayed in the shadows, silently watching the two of you. Eventually Fyodor had put his hand on your back, and apparently that was the final straw for the jester.

It took everything in him to not take you away right then and there.

Eventually when you and Fyodor parted ways, Nikolai magically appeared beside you with an unreadable expression. You had asked him what was wrong but he only grabbed your wrist with an iron grip.

He brought you back to your shared apartment and locked you in your room until Nikolai sorted out his emotions.

Nikolai is a sadistic yandere, yes, but he wouldn’t be sadistic towards you without any reason; or being caught up in his emotions for that matter.

What it all comes down to is that he still loves his darling despite how they made him feel some wretched emotion besides love.

He’d eventually calm down and trap you in your apartment until you can ‘behave yourself.’

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

For Fyodor let’s say that you befriended Sigma. You originally approached him since he seemed lonely and needed some time off from work, but over time your friendship with him grew. Fyodor only watched as this happened on the side lines.

Surely you weren’t stupid enough to talk to another man while you had him, right?

Well, he was wrong; though he slightly expected this from you. You always cared about other people, even if they didn’t care about you.

Normally if something like this was to happen with anyone else, he’d kill off your friend immediately. But since Sigma is one of his coworkers and is vital to his plan, he’s unable to take care of him.

That fact slightly infuriates him, but he’d never let it show. He’d let it boil under the surface until he eventually confronts you.

Fyodor reached his breaking point when Sigma was fast asleep in his office and you put your jacket over his back so he wouldn’t get cold.

You’re only supposed to be doing those type of things with Fyodor.

It made him almost want to kill you along with Sigma.

Oh so gradually Fyodor would start feeding lies to Sigma about how you’re only using him, and in return he’d tell you lies about Sigma, saying that he’s an awful person that only wishes to see you fail.

Fyodor’s lies made the two of you extremely angry at each other, and eventually the two of you would stop talking.

Fyodor would let you cry to him with open arms. He’d be there to comfort you and tell you that everything is all right.

He’d be there to tell you that other people only wish to hurt you.

Locking you away wouldn’t be his solution for this issue, but if something similar happens again in the future, he may consider it. He won’t be so nice next time.

Fyodor would be the worst to have out of the three in terms of mentality. Let’s just hope that you don’t break easily.

this was my first yandere ask on this acc! i hope you liked it <3

[dropthedemiurge]

Boys Be Brave [EP.3] // Translation notes

Alright, I got prompted by @turndon100-blog @okiedokie2216 @lurkingshan and the ending of Ep.3 gave me hype boost so I'll try to write some clarification and translation for the scenes from my phone while I still remember everything xD Sorry if this is not going to be as well formatted as my other language posts tho...

Kiseob wants to prove to Jinwoo that he perfectly fits his entire "My ideal type" checklist and he lists all the things he nails. This might've been confusing to many in subs, but the thing is - 첫눈 (chot nun) in Korean can both mean "first sight" and "first snow". So Jinwoo immediately argues that Kiseob failed to achieve being perfect in all to-do points because Jinwoo hasn't fallen in love with him at first sight (as he mentions it in the beginning of the episode). But Kiseob confidently argues that no, there was no first snow this winter yet and shows the December article that says first snow is late this year and might only fall in January.

So technically Jinwoo can still fall in love with Kiseob at first snow and achieve perfect 10/10, therefore no failure yet! Poor Jinwoo can't argue with that logic... (That frustrated little jiggly stomping lmao)

This message also said that he better pay that credit back until Friday, otherwise there will be extra fee.

He said "Choi BalgEum. Look at me" (or focus on me) 🥺

눈치 없어 (nunchi opseo) is a phrase that literally means "have no sense" (it also was formed from ��� - eyes, as I can guess), but it's used in the context of being perceptive (눈치 있어/nunchi isseo, having sense), feeling the subtext or nonverbal clues - and, well, the lack of it on the opposite, like being clueless.

So Balgeum actually means "Can't you see? Don't you understand the implications?"(of him holding Kiseob's hand) "I asked, don't you realize?" Stop following me around like a clueless fool" (he said that "having no sense" phrase 3 times in a row, who are you trying to fool here yourself, my guy lol)

Balgeum also curses twice at his piano not-friend-situationship. Here he says after asking to stop following him: "It's fucking embarrassing". Probably, the fact that he keeps showing up and asking to talk to him, but can also mean doing this while he obviously "has a boyfriend".

When they meet in evening, he also curses again "why the fuck do you keep appearing?" Balgeum is just definitely trying to hurt him as much as possible :(

This translation works but just to clarify - Kiseob says "Why do you often hide?". So he doesn't just ask why Jinwoo were still hiding under bed while he was talking to him, he was asking why Jinwoo was running away and hiding from him all the time (while he likes him).

"I hated you back then and I hate you now, that's why I run away."

And I just love the phrase 아니잖아... (anijanha) that he gets in response. Because it means "That's not true... (and you know it too)". There's literally a grammar point in Korean that lets you insist on something you know that the other person also should be aware of. So Balgeum angrily claims he ran away in the past and he runs away now because he hates Inho (I hope that's his name, forgive me if anything), and Inho counter argues that no, he doesn't hate him. And implies they both know it. That's why Balgeum resorts to less angry "Think whatever you want".

And the fact that even after this, Balgeum kept playing up his masquarade and saying he wants to vomit even thinking about that they had something, that he regrets it every day - no wonder Inho finally snaps and calls him an asshole/scum when he didn't use cursing before, unlike Balgeum, and so the i-dont-wanna-hurt-you-but-i-am-emotional "fight" begins.

But here we have a silver lining!

"- Meet me only three times... - I got it (what you want), so... (let go of me)"

알겠다 (al'getta) literally means "I know/I understand" but (going with my intuition) it's used naturally in cases that you understood the information you were given, received instructions and will follow them.

I'm not sure what Ep.4 will bring, but I won't be surprised if Balgeum and Inho actually will go to 3 dates because Balgeum sounded like he was giving in, after letting out his anger/fear/frustration/etc through wrestling with Inho. His final verdict for Inho pleading him to go on 3 dates with him is: "Let me go. I told you, I understand (your request and I will consider it most likely in a positive way)"

Here you go! These guys grow on me more and more with every episode. I am fascinated to see Jinwoo ditching his perfectly planned schedule, Kiseob finally refusing to follow where other people drag him, Inho fighting to make his love exist despite brutal rejections and punches, and Balgeum's carefully crafted defense walls breaking as he lets a glimmer of hope and love return to his life.

This show isn't deep at all, it's foolish and yet I'm starting to see layers and development and I'm intrigued where they all will go.

If you've got any other questions about this or previous episodes, let me know! (With timecodes preferrable)

[dojunie]

MESSENGER; HRJ [PT 4: COFFEE VS TEA]

➥ PART 4 OF MESSENGER; a small smau about a stranger, a whole lot of animal pics, and a relationship you would never have expected to come from texting a random number written on a public bathroom mirror.

➥ WC: 1.7K

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

a/n: first written bit! lets see if i like this formatting in an hour and if not pretend you dont see me changing shit around 💪

current tl: @matchahyuck @theboyz-jacob @hoeshi17 @neoteez01 @hibernatinghamster @luvvsnae @shwizhies @skynightgalaxy @ihrtnyu @kunvibing @liliansun @txpxwxk @is4b3ll3s @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @she-is-dreaming

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THE LINE RINGS FOR ABOUT TWO ENTIRE SECONDS BEFORE EVERYTHING GOES VERY, VERY QUIET— And it’s only within that silence that you seem to realize that you might’ve just done something… weird.

Thoughtlessness was what had you pressing that call button (or maybe there was thought behind it; just the type that tired, sleep deprived, stupid people would have). Regret hits you like a brick when all your brain's neurons finally seem to reconnect. What the hell are you doing? You don’t know this guy! You don’t even know his name— not to mention that he doesn’t know yours! And somehow, before common sense caught up to you, you thought it was the logical next step to call him?

You’re stood in front of your desk with your headphones in your ears probably looking crazy as you stare at the screen, thoughts in sudden overdrive trying to figure out how to ‘Oops, butt dial!' your way out this— when it stops ringing.

Now connecting, Duck Boy.

“…Hello?”

Oh.

Your spine stiffens nearly upright at the sound of his voice. His... voice. Him. Duck Boy. Who once only existed in your mind as a selfie and a few bossy-yet-endearing texts, and now you’ve got a selfie, some texts, and a voice. 

Christ, why is your mind spinning like you’ve just unearthed some sort of incredible clue? It’s not like there’s anything stopping you from just asking him to meet up or something since this stupid mystery game is really only being perpetuated by you— but still, you find yourself overanalyzing the single word, the surprisingly low drawl of his tone (his voice is much, much deeper than you thought it would be), even the clarity of his speech and diction.

However. Again—and you can’t even blame the exhaustion for this because you feel wide awake now— you do something weird.

Too busy marveling over how he sounds, you completely forget to respond.

“Mystery girl…?” Duck Boy says again, startling you. “If you’re doing this to keep me awake, I’ve got to say— still kind of falling asleep over here.”

“M’was— Headphones,” you blurt. A lie. Your headphones have been in your ears for about two hours now as you worked on your architecture project, but he did not need to know that. “Was putting in my headphones. Hi.”

“…Hi.”

A shuffling on the line, like he's sitting up or shifting or something, and then he laughs a little bit in the ensuing silence. “You called me and broke your coveted mystique just to tell me hi?”

“No. I’m distracted. I'm... making tea. You don’t appreciate my hello?”

God. Three more lies. At least it’s not for long because this, plus the slight embarrassment washing under your skin, jumpstarts you into turning on your heel and darting into the kitchen. 

“I didn’t say that,” he hums. “You sure like putting words in my mouth. I meant, because you called me all gung-ho like, I was expecting a little more than a greeting. A quiz, or something. A game plan.”

“I have a plan.”

Holy shit, in the span of fifteen seconds you’ve turned into the biggest liar in the world. What plan? You hadn’t even fully recognized you were calling him until he picked up! “It’s twenty questions. The ultimate stay-awake game. I’ll ask such thoughtful questions that your brain will start to steam in that airport.”

This seems to catch him off guard; He snorts a laugh, a loud, pretty sound that you assume is immediately muffled because he’s in public. You’d been in the middle of setting a kettle on the stove when you heard it, and couldn’t help but smile a little widely in triumph. You made him laugh. Cool. 

“Is that so?” he snickers.

Slightly loosened up now, you shrug. “Of course. Let’s open it up with something easy. Coffee— or tea? There is a right answer.”

“How is there a right answer if you’re asking me what I like?”

“Between coffee and tea, of course there’s a right answer. One is good, crafted from nature and angels and all that is pure; a perfectly warm drink that soothes illness and brings joy to those young and old. And the other one is bitter and evil and rhymes with moffy.”

He laughs again. Shit. Should you consider becoming a comedian? Is this weird giddiness how they all feel when they get people to laugh? 

“I’m sure you’ve probably just never had good coffee,” he tries, “It’s not all bitter—“

“Are you putting forth your vote? Coffee? The devil’s choice of beverage?”

“No! You’re annoying. I like both.”

“That’s not the question I asked you, Duck Boy.”

You don’t even realize you’ve called him the name you refer to him as in your head. It slips out easily, a product of ease and amusement and familiarity— which is surprising to say when you’ve only been talking to this guy for a few minutes— but he doesn’t even seem to phase himself, only groaning as you badger him for an answer.

“Is it illegal to like both?” he asks finally, feigning hastiness. “Different occasions. Coffee to wake me up, tea to cool me down. Next question.”

“Don’t get too hasty, because the next question is in the same vein. What do you eat with your tea or coffee? Snack wise?”

“I would say I like bread with both,” he says confidently. “Like croissants? I really like croissants.”

“Something must be wrong with you.”

“What—“ You almost hear how he sits up, immediately affronted. “Hey!”

“Bread? Like just… straight bread? Yeast and egg and flour? With something as bitter as coffee, you’re not even going to have a donut or something? Lord, not even a muffin?”

“I don’t care for sweets! What do you like then, since you’re apparently the chooser of everything good?”

You lean against the counter, absentmindedly watching your kettle as you sigh theatrically, stretching like someone would before they run a marathon or swim a thousand meters. “You’re asking the wrong person this question,” you warn. “I could spend the next hour talking about snack combinations. Chamomile tea and banana nut muffins, a slice of frosted lemon cake with a taaaaall mug of double-steeped Earl Gray. I’m something of a savant in my field, you know. I might have to make you sign an NDA to protect my trade secrets.”

Duck Boy scoffs but you’re pleased to hear what sounds like a hidden smile— maybe even a grin. 

“Consider it signed,” he says. There’s another shift, a sound like fabric rustling, and then he sighs as if he’s just made himself comfortable; which, in an airport terminal seat, must be a fruitless effort. “I have nothing but time, Mystery Girl.”

Your tea was pretty great, all things considered. A London Fog with two teabags instead of one, a capful of vanilla essence to sweeten, milk and sugar— the perfect wind-down drink. It was no wonder then, when you returned to your room and found yourself heading for your bed instead of returning to the desk to continue your insidious diorama floor plan project, that your eyelids started to get a little heavy about fifteen minutes into twirling your finger around the headphone wire while talking with Duck Boy. You have been up for the last day after all, class and practice and studying, and tea at this hour always ends up knocking you on your ass after about half an hour.

The sudden onset tiredness isn’t helped by the fact that talking to him is so easy, either. 

It’s effortless. Who would have thought that the guy who routinely scolds you through text, periods and capitals and perfect grammar everywhere, could actually crack a few good jokes? It’s his dry humor that gets you, a deadpan delivery that had nearly made you spill hot tea on yourself three times; but you made him bark a laugh so loud at one point that he got the evil-eye from an airline attendant, so the scoreboard’s still in your favor.

Whether or not he can hear the sleepy lull in your voice through the phone, you’re not sure. He does seem to take the reins on question-asking though. Little things like your favorite color, musical genre, if you’re a homebody or the type to always be out and about. It’s a lot of good information (more than you ever thought you’d learn about some guy you dialed on a whim three weeks ago) which is why you’re a little salty that you had to go and fall asleep in the middle of all of it.

The last question you remembered had been after a small quiet, a breath of time where your eyes had been closed and he’d been humming, contemplating what to ask next.

Your tea was finished. Your laptop had timed out a long time ago which meant your room was only being lit by the kitchen light outside, a small sliver of warm white light.

“Do you— Do you do any extracurriculars? On campus?”

“Mystery breach,” you’d mumbled belatedly, attempting and failing to blink the bleariness from your eyes. “Look at you, trying to sneak that question in there. You already got to see me first. Now you want to know where to find me on campus, too?”

Immediately he flustered, stumbling for a response like you’d somehow managed to hit the nail on the head, but in your state you didn’t think to look further into it. “I’m kidding. At this point I’d probably give you my SSN if you asked for it. I play volleyball for the school, if that counts? I was on debate club in freshman year but I got kicked out for agreeing with my opponents too much.”

A beat, like he was mulling over this information, and then, “You? Agree with someone? That’s interesting, considering how much it seems you like to argue with me...”

“You’re different,” you yawned. “Very different. Being forced to debate with people I barely know on topics I don’t care about kind of sucks. But I actually like talking to you.”

“Oh,” he said. “…Is that so?”

"Right," you laughed and closed your eyes one last time. “I would never lie to my dickpic buddy.”

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[A LITTLE WHILE LATER]

a/n: pls leave a like if you enjoyed! it motivates me to work on this every time i see a notification about it LOL

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

[hamelinsnightmare]

hello! i'd like to start a stimboard blog, but i have not a clue where to find resources/how to format/etc. do you have any tips/resources on how to start a stimboard blog? itd be appreciated, thank you in advance <3

how to make stim blog & stims: informal guide by hammy

1- its best to use desktop instead of mobile tumblr. while you can technically do it on mobile, i wouldnt recommend it because mobile tumblr breaks format often.

2- when making your own gifs, it is recommended to make your gifs in a 1:1 ratio format, so basically a square (100x100 ratio).

3- if you are using other peoples gifs, always remember to keep track of whose gifs you are using and properly credit to the best of your ability. i usually start my posts in my drafts and then use my likes to keep track of what gifs i use, but you can also save drafts with them and stuff to not lose them. link to the direct post, do not just @ the blog, thats the best way to credit but as long as you make a conscious effort to credit its not a big deal

4- format wise its up to you man its your blog and you get to do what you want, but i will say that when crediting the way i do with emojis or Xs or whatnot, it is better to have a space between each item so that on tumblr mobile it doesnt merge the links or break the credits

(good: x x x / x x x , bad: xxx / xxx)

5- tags, how you handle requests, dni, etc are all up to you, whatever works best for you. but please keep in mind that you should probably tag triggers if making any sensitive content or marking it with tumblr's new mature content labels and stuff, though trigger tagging might be better bc the content labels tumblr has might hide your post from people who unknowingly have the "do not show posts" enabled

6- ezgif dot com is your friend. i dont have photoshop or anything so i basically live off of it lol. btw, might want to have an adblocker for it though since some of the ads can take up too much space

7- ?????? i think thats it, im pretty tired ngl

I do appreciate you coming to me and asking about it, it means I must be doing something right /lh

EDIT: I almost forgot! tumblr does weird shit to gifs on here so if you are using someone elses gifs, how to download them properly: right click + open image in new tab, the end of the url will be ".gifv", get rid of the v in the url (".gif") and then press enter to refresh the page. THEN you save that image. otherwise it will be in garbage webp unusable shit

[eternalglitch]

Hi Glitch! So I have this fanfic idea, totally different show btw, but I dont know how I would go about posting it or even actually start writing it. I've never been inspired to make a fanfic before, heh. Your my favorite fanfic writer and so I thought I would ask you how you decided to write and post your fic. Thanks, if you respond!

How exciting, welcome to the start of a wild journey! I'm flattered by the pick. :}

First up, you need to have an idea, which you have accomplished.

Next, you need to probe further with that idea– what are the specific scenes that make this story worth it to you? What are the emotions, which tiny details of the moment make you go a little bit feral? I usually pick out the climax scene and maybe some random ones that just get me thinking regardless of where in the story they are. Once you get those, hold onto them; they will help get you through any rougher patches of "oh god I do NOT want to write this part" because you will and you must if you want to get to The Scenes.

Next up, battle plans. They don't have to be detailed, but you want to write down a beginning, middle, and end. They can change as you write but you do NOT want to start on a journey with no idea what direction to head from chapter to chapter. It ends badly.

"Well, where do I start writing?"

You can do the beginning, if you know it. I always look back at the plot chart if I need help on figuring out where exactly that should be; pretty much every solid story establishes their character and then kicks off the rising action to start the point of the story, which is how the character will then change over the course of your work. With fanfiction, the exposition can be almost nonexistent since you are jumping off of a platform.

I think posting is rather the easy part; I use AO3 because it's simply the best place to do so thanks to the formatting and tag filtering systems. Tag as best and accurately as you can, add any needed warnings, and whatever you do make no mention that this is your first story or you can't write summaries or that it won't be good within the tags or summary.

You're fine to mention you are new at writing in the author's notes within the fic itself, of course, but I don't even check out the fics that say "sorry I'm bad at summaries, please just try reading it!" on the proverbial container because a summary can be as simple as copy-pasting a few sentences for a hook. It doesn't have to be complex, it just needs to clue people in on what you are writing about. You are marketing yourself with tags and the summary, don't try and talk people out of giving you a shot.

Most people acknowledge that fanfic is ground zero for a lot of writers, and are very kind about it in comments. It's a great thrill to get the comment notification email, one that will never go away regardless of how many times you get it.

Best of luck! I hope you find great joy and fun in both the process and the result.

[isthisselfcare]

Please forgive my absence, I log into tumblr once every 4 business months

I have answered some asks but not all, for which I apologise 

hello! rereading your work for the second time, proud of myself for translating less words than before (this british english's got hands and they kick me a lot). i keep beating myself about the question: WHAT is the clue about the mole in chapter 1? you said it was paltry, i didn't believe you, now i'm trying to make my eyes fall out over finding said clue. spare me.

It was the line about Shacklebolt’s assistant, she was grouchy about Draco for no discernable (at the time) reason: ‘Draco scheduled a visit with the Minister of Magic later that week. He sauntered past the Minister’s sour-faced assistant on the designated day, wondering who had pissed in her Pixie Puffs.’

She’s the one who would’ve heard Hermione discussing her findings with Shacklebolt early on, and subsequently learned that this Notorious Auror was going to protect her. That’s the entire not-even-clue. Rubbish, isn’t it?

Hi, since you like Jerome K Jerome, I was wondering if you've read "Two and a half men in a boat" by Nigel Williams? He basically recreated the boat trip on Thames with his friends like in Jerome's book. Nowhere near as good as the original, but it's pretty funny! He emulates Jerome's wit quite well.

I have not, but will add this to my reading list! 

Is Hermione bi in your fic?

I am congenitally unable to write cishet women, so, yes, or pan, possibly. Didn’t get into her head enough to know 

hey girlie. what does "cutty-uppy" means? i can't find the definition anywhere

Sorry. That was a made up word, referring to the sort of people who cut people up, those terrible Muggle surgeons  

do you mind if your tags are used on other fics? i think your tags on DMATMOOBIL are a creative writing piece in their own right (they make me laugh sm) so I was a bit disturbed to find fics that copy them verbatim with no credit.

I don’t mind at all, AO3 tags take on their own self-referential, memeish life and I am happy to add mine to the ecosystem. My own tags on Mortifying include the ‘no X we die like men’ and ‘what is X if not Y persevering’ meme-phrases

do you see yourself writing more dramione in the future?

I haven’t any plans to do so at present, sorry!

Continuing an investigation to see if you are actually Hermione, can you do a taraskvana?

Hah. No. I've got a dodgy knee, I can hardly even sit cross-legged!

She's a 10 but she only has 1 story posted

It’s me!

Dont know If somebody has already asked you this - would it be okay to print Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in Love?

Printing for your personal use is fine

I noticed something about the Beltane chapter: "hippocampus" is a part of our brain's limbic system and one of its functions is memory formation, specifically creation  and consolidation thereof, so I thought it was very symbolic that Hermione and Draco were racing creatures  with the same name. Cause I feel like that chapter is a turning point in their relationship - Hermione stops seeing him as a barely tolerable pureblood ass. It's around that point that they really do start kind of liking each other  and start - if you will - forming new memories together! I know I'm just overthinking things, but I love dmatmoobil so much I'm constantly on the lookout for hidden meanings and symbolism.

There are a lot of easter eggs in the fic, but with this one, you have given me far too much credit. Thank you for sharing it! 

Will you be participating in the DHr advent?

Hiya, no, I had to decline as I hadn’t any writing time this autumn, honoured to have been invited, however, and eager to read the works!

Would you ever write a Tomione or a Sevmione?

I never say never, but frankly the possibility is remote. So sorry

Pain au chocolat ou chocolatine?

Scandaleux comme question, ça… pain au chocolat ! 

Re the “Marathon of chaos” on your Instagram. It’s been such a ride to not only follow your fanfic (I was an early adopter, which I know makes me sound like a hipster snob, and maybe I am one) but also watch it go from like 100 kudos to one of the top fics in the fandom. I’m here for your marathon and really grateful for all the work you put into MOBIL. Now for the question… when can we expect your next book? I don’t care if it’s Dramione, any other pairing, or any other fandom, or original fic, I WILL read it! Please continue to hit us with chaos!!!!

Thank you for your kind words! 

I haven’t got an answer on the timeline for the next piece, or whether I will link it with this online identity, but I am toying with the idea of writing it entirely in comic sans

Your Hermione was my gay awakening

If this is serious, I hope you find your own Hermione one day!

Can we please be friends? You sound like you would make a great one

Unfortunately, I am a rubbish friend who never responds to texts and cancels plans at every opportunity, you don’t want to know me 

I was so happy to see Uzbekistan mention in your story. That had never happened before. Thank you for mentioning my country 😻

You are welcome! Uzbekistan is honestly one of the most breath-taking countries I’ve ever visited – monuments that dwarf the Taj Mahal – unearthing the grand and bloody history of the Silk Road – stepping upon the same sands that the great Khans thundered across – seeing the ruins of the caravanserai – sheer magic! To say nothing of the hospitality of the people. I had far too much plov and quickly discovered my limit for vodka

You are my favorite cryptid

Cheeky. Thank you

And, finally, thank you to the person who sent me this article on a sacred relic that was stolen from an abbey and then returned ‘in an unceremonious cardboard box’! Hormone and Crotch are still at large

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Originally posted on 1/22/2024

Summary:

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

hibitchcus flower just slid into the server.

hibitchcus flower just changed their nickname to TIM TAM TOM

Turbo nerd as in the movie joined the party.

TIM TAM TOM just changed Turbo nerd as in the movie's nickname to sash (❁´◡`❁)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Acceptable only because of the kaomoji

Good to see you, Blackwood, Martin

TIM TAM TOM: ugh god marto please tell me you just made that account 5 minutes ago

Blackwood, Martin: I'm sorry I've literally never heard of Discord!!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Give him a break he probably thought it was an official work thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): Directly affiliated with the Magnus Institute, London

TIM TAM TOM: please sash no jon references this early in the morning

Blackwood, Martin: It's 11:30?

TIM TAM TOM: if it's the AM it's too early in the morning

sash (❁´◡`❁): You voluntarily wake up at six, don't act like you're one of us

Blackwood, Martin: You're a morning person?

sash (❁´◡`❁): He goes to bed no later than 10 pm except for on special occasions

TIM TAM TOM: why would you call me out like this

TIM TAM TOM: im wounded

Blackwood, Martin: You should be

sash (❁´◡`❁): You should be

TIM TAM TOM: youre ganging up on me already i see how it is

TIM TAM TOM: also your name is giving me hives

TIM TAM TOM just changed Blackwood, Martin's nickname to MARTY PARTY

MARTY PARTY: Now I'm getting hives

sash (❁´◡`❁): You can change it in the top left corner

MARTY PARTY: Thank you!!

MARTY PARTY just changed their nickname to mahtin

mahtin: There, more acceptable

TIM TAM TOM: what did i JUST say about jon references

mahtin: You don't pronounce the 'r' in my name either? Nobody does? This is London?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but jon is the most intense about it

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN YOU FORMATTED THIS INCORRECTLY!! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN THE STANDARD WAY THAT WE FORMAT THINGS HERE HAS TWELVE-POINT FONT, NOT ELEVEN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN I DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVENT DONE A REPORT LIKE THIS SINCE YOUR MASTER'S THAT YOU GOT TEN YEARS AGO! I'M GOING TO BE A BITCH ABOUT IT ANYWAY!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN!

mahtin: I mean, to be fair, I truly haven't got a clue on how to do half these reports and follow-ups

mahtin: It's been too long since I've done anything outside of, you know, Library Things

mahtin: I don't blame him for being frustrated sometimes

TIM TAM TOM: once you get used to it its not hard at all

TIM TAM TOM: esp since you did it in uni all u gotta do is dust off them memoreez

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon is unecessarily dramatic and mean about it though

TIM TAM TOM: ^^

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's like that with most things, though, so it's fine

sash (❁´◡`❁): He doesn't mean anything personal by it

TIM TAM TOM: we only bully him a little bit for it

mahtin: ah

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... 'ah?'

TIM TAM TOM: ??

mahtin: I see

mahtin: I may owe him an apology?

sash (❁´◡`❁): You what

TIM TAM TOM: im torn

TIM TAM TOM: on the one hand hell yeah lets go marto my man

TIM TAM TOM: on the other hand jon? is he okay? did you actually hurt his feelings ? the only reason hes not in the discord is bc hes fucking insufferable rn and also bc electronics dont like him-

mahtin: I could tell you what I did? To make you not torn?

TIM TAM TOM: no

mahtin: Well I'm going to say it anyway to determine if an apology is in order

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yes go ahead don't let Tim convince you otherwise

mahtin: Well

mahtin: I may have started a bit of a fight with him?

mahtin: Might have implied that he didn't pay attention in Uni?

mahtin: I was completely pulling it out of my arse but I was tired of being corrected on a bunch of little things like I'm SORRY it's been over TEN YEARS since I did ANY education

mahtin: So I dug in my heels on some inane little thing and now it's kind of. On sight

mahtin: This has been going on for a few days now? I'm surprised nobody picked up on it honestly

mahtin: I mean who has an argument about spiders? Even most arachnophobes agree that the jumping ones are cute! They're small and fuzzy what's not to love!

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

TIM TAM TOM: if sash says dont bring something up w someone it means she hacked into somewhere she shouldnt and saw things nobody wanted her to see

TIM TAM TOM: she does that with everyone btw

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's easier to just look at the 'phobia' part than dance around like "hey, most people at the Fear Research Institute are absolutely fucking terrified of something, which club are you in? what should I not talk about with you?"

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's EFFICIENT and not personal information in the FEAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE it's basically an icebreaker question in Artifact Storage

sash (❁´◡`❁): For example

sash (❁´◡`❁): No clowns or mannequins with Tim

TIM TAM TOM: or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): I'm fine with pretty much anything in all honesty but I'll let you know if that changes

mahtin: Does my file say anything? I don't remember what I said my fear was

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yours was something existential like 'loneliness' or something like that

sash (❁´◡`❁): I don't tend to get that deep with my coworkers so if it's not going to come up in conversation I don't put in as much effort to remember it

mahtin: ... Interesting

mahtin: I don't remember what I said my fear was but I'm fairly certain it was something concrete

mahtin: Might've been snakes? I used to be scared of snakes for a while

mahtin: Then I got a part time job at a pet store for some extra money and their snakes were cool so no more of that

mahtin: But I was only asked the fear question once? During my interview?

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... Weird

TIM TAM TOM: ... indeed

[grem-archive]

OK SO

how do the specific rock and soil types around a certain dig site contribute to the way that a bone fosillizes if it does at all, such as would it fossilised better in clay rich moist soil, often the ones found at the bottom of a bog for example, or a more silt and sand based soil found in airod climate or on the sea floor.

and if you dont mind me asking what is your favourite crystal formation structure, its for a thing

So, brave adventurer, what you're seeking is a little something called 'taphonomy'. To put it poetically, taphonomy is the study of how an organism goes from the biosphere to the lithosphere; in simpler terms - how one goes from living to stone. The study of fossilization, in even more basic terms. Primarily associated with paleontology, taphonomy is actually useful for archaeology as well. I've had it lovingly told to me by professors and mentors that taphonomy in our context is the study of how long a material/artifact stays in the archaeological record. We are interested in what happens between deposition and lithification just as much as we are interested in the fossil itself.

There are many factors that affect a bone's preservation process, but if we're talking just soil, there is a very basic rule of thumb: Organic materials such as bone, shell, and wood are going to preserve best in anaerobic environments. This means an abundant presence to a lack of oxygen. This rule actually goes for a few other material types, too, but I digress. Other conditions that are advantageous for good preservation are climatic extremes: extremely dry (deserts - think of natural mummification in desert environs) and extremely wet (the bottoms of bogs and seabeds). In the latter, an anaerobic environment coupled with an extremely wet environment is excellent, such as the poorly-draining setting of a raised bog. Ex: The Osterby Man (Osterby, Germany) and the Elling Woman (Silkeborg, Denmark), two separate bog bodies well-known for the presence of their hair and pieces of their clothing/burial shroud.

We also look at the acidity or alkaline nature of the soil. So it is not necessarily if the soil has more clay or sand, but the humidity, acidity, and exposure to oxidation. Bone and glass do very poorly in acidic soils, but other organic materials thrive in it. There are many confounding variables such as the material type itself. All material types preserve differently in different soil conditions. You have to use a lot of context clues and careful observation.

And fun fact, a single soil type and composition might not even be consistent across the entirety of a site. I've worked in two units barely 15 meters from one another, and their soil colors were entirely different, their composition highly variable, and the artifacts in differing states of preservation. Archaeology is all about being flexible!

>> P.S. While I'm not sure if I have a favorite crystal system, I do adore minerals with an acicular crystal habit!

[prettyboykatsuki]

hi!! first of all i love all your writing- i eat it up every single time you literally never miss. if its okay could you share how you got a platform on tumblr in the first place? i post and have had my account for years and i dont get anything on any of my posts lol😭 if you dont feel comfortable i get it, have a lovely day <3

hello dear! first of all thank you so much for reading and enjoying my stuff that means a lot to me!

secondly, a lot of people have asked me this and i have not a clue 😭 i wish i had a better answer for you but i really think it was some combination of luck and timing. i was posting when it was pretty active and had a following before moving to this blog. posting fics pretty frequently also helps i think? and also lately interaction is exceptionally low so if you see a dip in interaction thats why

but i . dont really know what happened. ive also had a good handful of posts blow up unintentionally 🥲 so im sure that contributes. it helps to format your fics in an eyecatching way and post frequently. also smut will always perform better than sfw no matter the quality lol so just something to keep in mind

[corvidshipping]

fuck it b.tb s/i lore dump

(EXTREMELY long post under the cut. sincerely. genuinely. i wrote a novel. also, spoilers)

born Jane Child (in some legal documents its spelled as Jane C.hilde cause yknow how spelling was just straight up not standardized back then) sometime in the late 1400s (the date im using is 1490 but that could change very easily.

mildly poor family, not exactly peasants but tradesmen by birth. blacksmiths, carpenters, etc.

bc their family was yknw. lower class. they started studying/training to work very early on since it was necessary for them to help support their family since they very likely wouldnt get much from marrying. so between like 11-14 years old they started studying under a local midwife and eventually became apprenticed to her.

eventually became pretty good at it and started doing it on their own in early adulthood. became known as trustworthy, clean, and supportive.

married at around eighteenISH. to a man named nicholas fletcher, who was (huge surprise) a generational arrowmaker. his family had passed down a shop... or something.. for generations.

they were definitely bi and nb the entire time but bc of the restrictions of the era they never reaaaally realized it. jane and nicholas were never really. in love. there was no hate or anything they cared about each other very much but they were more best friends than anything else. in fact they probably never actually said i love you to each other like. ever.

bore a son that same year, who would be named bartholomew fletcher. barty for short :-)

stuff happens etc etc and they eventually get Ye Olde 15th Century Callout Post and accused of beign a witch by a noblewoman and was executed for it aroooouuund 1511-1516ish.

these next few points will be presented in greentext format bc i think its the funniest possible way to explain it

>be me, simple english midwife wrongly executed for witchcraft >spend the next several centuries in a dreamless slumber underground >wake up randomly one day >whole council of Shadowy Figures is standing over me >they explain ive been chosen for a "special purpose" and its an "honor" >mfw

>they ask me if ill go to the surface to find some dude they claim used to work for him but went insane and got too "dangerous to the veil" to keep around >dont understand but say okay anyway cause anything is better than being underground any longer >get up there, everything is weird and bright and different now >realize i have weird burns on my face from being burnt at the FUCKING stake >they (the shadow figures) told me no one can know what im doing so find a passable mask in a thrift shop >random child is walking on the street alone, apparently lost >help her home bc im dead, not a bad person >disappear before her mom sees >days pass, im at the city center >drew up my own wanted posters for the guy bc i have no clue where else to start >a group of people starts staring at me >look to see why >its the same FUCKING child i walked home days ago >she recognized the dumbass mask >whyaretheyinclownmakeup.jpeg >runaway.jpeg >think i escaped cleanly but they find me from the wanted poster >try to think of a lie on the spot but instead i claim im a janitor >a janitor. at a park. >claim the guy was wanted for trespassing and being a general nuisance >they seem to buy the story and leave >FINALLY find the bastard whos behind all this >pull out the magic bigass chain i got given by the Creepy Shadow People >thisisntevenmyfinalform.jpeg >he pulls out an even bigger hammer >ohfuck.jpeg >he homeruns me through a goddamn WALL. >end up landing next to the same weird clownpeople who almost figured me out the first time >apparently the guy merked their boss ??? >explain the story to them and theyre weirdly cool about it >decide to take a psychological approach, go back down underground and ask for the fun special book with everyones entire life story in it >ohoho ive got you now motherfucker. >random puppet seller or something who died alone, who cares >wait whos that >ohfuckpart2.jpeg >guy isnt a rogue agent at all, the new HBIC is the person who murdered him and they dont want him to be a problem for them. >struggle morally >find him again, try to explain whats going on and convince him hes in danger >he is not having it >the big fucking hammer is back again. >fuck this, time to activate my special ability: Big Ass Fucking Wrecking Ball >cold wind blows >the HBIC has arrived. >says i took too long so now theyre doing it themself. >pent up rage at wrongful execution 500 years ago builds up >guess i didnt deal with that trauma as well as i thought >animefight.jpeg >literally kill death themself. >shadow people come back to drag me back underground >wait no, theyre actually asking me if i want to be death now since i killed them >or i can go back underground and sleep peacefully for the rest of time and dream of my former life >show me what will happen if i choose to take the scythe >looks boring and lonely as shit to do for the rest of forever >show me my ex-husband and son who i will dream of if i go back >really struggle with it >remember that guy i was hired to find >remember clownpeople i bonded with while hunting his ass >god it has to be lonely for him to be the only dead guy walking on earth huh. >fine.jpeg >everyone is shocked to see me come back >they were sure i was gonna peace out after that bullshit >lolno.jpeg >tell dude hes stuck with my annoying ass now >he acts super irritated with it >end up spending time around him because our jobs cross paths >hes kinda funny in a mildly frightening way >deliberately spend more time around him because its not like theres anyone else around >shit hes kinda cool >shit hes kinda hot in a dead guy way what do i do, i think im in love with him now.

[wovenstarlight]

signed up for a workshop on a web development thing i wanted to learn about but now that im here its so painfully obvious these people don't have the slightest idea how to teach

[lotussokka]

nothing makes me lose interest in a fic as fast as seeing the title end with “-Shipname” like we get it youre from w*ttpad you dont have to shove it in everyones faces

[kissesandcream]

hurting yourself hurts me .,

alatus ; xiao

— • request from anon : his reaction if his significant other had an eating disorder

gn reader || tw eating disorder || headcanon format || 600 words

; masterlist.,

; a / n - i’ve kept this somewhat general as i didn’t want to represent anything incorrectly, i hope this helps anon, pls take care <3

u mentioned either a drabble or hcs, so i decided id sorta combine both in a way! i hope u like it :)

• this is a sensitive topic so most of everthing will be under the cut!! everyone please try your hardest to take care of your lovely selves and be safe :)

• i think at first he wouldn’t realize; he never ate and he was relatively fine so you would be too right?? sometimes he just,,, forgets that mortals are mortal yk

“are you going to have something to eat?” “no” “mm, i never understood mortal food anyway”

• it would suddenly dawn on him that the two of you weren’t built the same when he was doing something completely unrelated, and after that he’s just pure guilt

• i can see him stopping in the middle of a battle for a split second, thinking about all the times he’d brushed food off as unimportant, and his vague memories of verr goldet saying it was vital for mortals

• he doesn’t quite know how to ask you, nor how to bring you comfort- but he does know you haven’t eating in a long long time and you needed some immediately

• ur picking the silk flowers in front of the hotel and he just manifests before your eyes, panting

• he’s trying to be subtle and sneaky, but also completely lacks in tact, so it’s just “what did you have for breakfast today”

• ???? u ran here to ask me that ???? are u okay are you hurt ???

• after you say no you didn’t he’s like “okay i came here for lunch let’s eat together” HES TRYING AND FAILING TO NOT RAISE SUSPICION

“i thought mortal food was pointless” “i changed my mind” sIR?? 😭

• u decline the meal offer but he just glares you down until u come with him into the inn; mans has no clue how to eat with other people so it’s awkward but he’s trying just for you <33

• at first he was gonna order almond tofu,,, then he remembered verr goldet’s lecture about nutrients and ordered everything with vegetables

• if you weren’t worried before you definitely are now- “...xiao?? did something happen?? im worried are you okay-”

• he snaps just, of course something happened you didn’t eat for an entire week because of me

• it takes a bit to register he thinks it’s his fault, but after that you explain a little more about eds to him and he’s just “oh”

“...you need to eat things though... without throwing them up after >:( ”

• you were gonna point out that was easier said than done but his arms were crossed and he was making this adorable pouty face that you couldn’t find the heart to dont tell him that though he will kill u

• ever since that day he comes back to the inn for meals, he tried eating vegetables and meat but honestly gave up, now he just sits next to you playing the flute as you eat

• will get terrified if you pause for even a second; u stopped to admire his music and he’s just “are you okay?? why did you stop?? your plate isnt empty yet >:((”

• it’s a lot simpler to instruct than to perform, and he understands that. he’ll try his hardest to help you; he’d never want you to suffer the way he did, he’d never want you to feel like you were anything less than perfect

• loving you helped him love himself, and he couldn’t do that if you didn’t love yourself as well <3

[reginrokkr]

I hope you dont mind the ask, but I wanted to share the theory that I recently pieced together. Feel free to delete or do whatever you'd like with it, but it clicked for me and I immediately think of your Dainsleif and a lot of your lore posts and I thought you might appreciate it. But I found a post on twitter that broke down Khaenri'ah into Arabic where it apparently means "betrayer of winds" (khaen = betrayer, ri'ah = winds.) Strange though for a region where (at least so far) all the names that are associated with it (Dainsleif, Halfdan, Rhinedottir, etc) have more of a Germanic/Nordic origin, but hold a name of Arabic origin. It would make more sense for it to have a name that suits the names of the people -- Like Liyue being Chinese-coded and having Chinese based names, Mondstadt being Germanic, Inazuma Japanese, etc.

What if Khaenri'ah's original name had a tracking curse or similar magic put on it by Celestia to track down and eliminate anybody who might have survived the Cataclysm? One that if anybody said the original or true name they could be found and the last few stragglers could be eliminated and Celestia would know that any trace of the rebellion was truly gone.

You know, even if the nation’s language origin is discordant with names of characters that we’ve found to have ties to Khaenri’ah, this actually opens a door for other signs that the lore made sure to approach in one way or another! I’ll break down that one in a bit, but firstly I’d like to start with the last paragraph addressing a plausible possibility of how Celestia knows who they have to exterminate:

Since a while ago and thanks to multiple conversations with a couple of friends, I’ve started to believe in the theory that Khaenri’ah is, in fact, a culmination of several nations across the entirety of Teyvat that predate the arrival of The Second Who Came as addressed in the Before Sun and Moon book we find in Enkanomiya (presumably Celestia). We’ve been getting crumbs of hints here and there of what Celestia’s modus operandi may be as to what makes those higher beings want to destroy entire nations, and it’s the possibility that they’re trying to bury every trace of what existed before their coming.

Why do I think that 1) Khaenri’ah could be roughly speaking a civilization of civilizations and 2) that Celestia is doing this as their primary scope to hide what existed before them?

A very good hint we get is in Dain’s quest Requiem of the Echoing Depths when they arrive at the center of the Nameless Ruins and he says that the structure would remind him of Khaenri’ah if it wasn’t upside-down. We know that the formation of the Chasm was due to a meteorite’s fall about 6,000 years ago and according to a more recent quest since the Chasm’s release in 2.6, we learn through some fossils we have to take photos of that the place was a big body of water and what all these fossils have in common is that they acquired that state at once:

While this doesn’t give this an accurate clue of the timeline in which this underground civilization existed, it’s relevant to have at least the mark that it predates farther back in time than 6,000 years ago. The gist about these ruins is that there exists structures and decorative patterns found in the good old Sal Vindagnyr, Enkanomiya and Tsurumi Island. Enkanomiya shed light onto the fact that before the arrival of The Second Who Came, the entirety of Teyvat was one big unified civilization that seems to have fallen apart with the war between the invaders and Phanes, his Shining Shades and whatever more high entities / divinities that existed at the time. Enkanomiya falling to an underground place gives us a clue of how that war must’ve affected the various civilizations and it could be a good justification to warrant why most of these civilizations are underground (except Sal Vindagnyr which seems to predate the creation of Khaenri’ah and perhaps it’s one of the locations that the fabricated celestial dome couldn’t cover according to the lore of a domain that I don’t remember now) according to a passage of the Scibe’s Box: I’ve heard of people who are building a new nation without gods. Perhaps they’ll have the power to stand against this world).

Now, to explain briefly why I think that this is about concealing the past that predates the arrival of The Second Who Came, I’ll start with one of Ayato’s quotes during the Irodori Festival: The best way to protect a secret is to treat it as if it doesn’t exist. If we recall Orobashi, upon making contact with the people of Enkanomiya and acquiring a certain knowledge, he was destined to pass away in the Archon War by Ei’s hand. The people of Enkanomiya, too, were forbidden from coming back to the surface until several generations passed and their story was concealed to never be revealed to anyone. Jumping to the people of Sal Vindagnyr, they once received revelations of the heavens until they didn’t any longer, the reason: being doubtful of what will happen once the years of bountiful harvest and prosperity dictated by the heavens expire and their civilization was destroyed as a result of the people’s will to reach the kingdom of the sky and see with their own eyes if what they’ve been promised can be made true. Their initial doom was to question the authorities of the heavens.

So to conclude with this first part of the post, my thoughts on this matter is that there are high chances that Khaenri’ah was doomed since before the kingdom’s creation for being part of the civilization of humans that Phanes created.

About the breakdown of Khaenri’ah’s name, it’s interesting that its meaning is “betrayer of winds” for a few reasons that we’ve received crumbs here and there that might be inconsequential for starters, but when joined together they form a puzzle worth keeping in consideration. I’ll split this into four chunks that I’ll talk about: 1) Kaeya as a component to some ancient plot of Khaenri’ah 2) the inverted statue of Barbatos 3) the appearance of a pack of wolves that isn’t indigenous to Mondstadt as Razor lets us know pretty early on in the story and 4) the feelings of the Khaenri’ahn creations.

The first one suggests that the reason why Kaeya’s father dropped him to Mondstadt is to eventually do something there in favor to Khaenri’ah, that’s pretty self-explanatory. We know that his father wasn’t too happy for reasons we don’t know yet but that can be deduced as a possibility based on the latter two elements that make sense to the meaning of that nation’s name. If Kaeya happens to go with this ancient plot for the benefit of his homeland and it happens to be something detrimental for Mondstadt in turn, we could easily say that Kaeya “would’ve betrayed the winds”, as Mondstadt is the nation of the Anemo Archon.

On to the second element that’s addressed in Dain’s quest We Will Be Reunited, Venti’s statue of the Seven plays a big role in a plan that Dain has yet to investigate: Loom of Fate. With that statue serving as some preliminary arrangements in the making of a mechanized god by using the eye of the first Field Tiller that rests on the top of the Decarabian tower. In view that the hideout is in Liyue and pretty far of Mondstadt, why would the Abyss Order use Venti’s statue and not Zhongli’s by proximity? The reasons are still unknown, but one could argue that the Abyss Order may have something against Mondstadt in particular. There is also a leak / rumor that I’ll put under cut at the end of the post that may add salt to this particular element if it happens to be that way.

Lastly, I’ll be joining the third and fourth elements of why Khaenri’ah’s name doesn’t make sense in the typical way as we’ve seen some nations so far, but it does if looked from another perspective. The pack of wolves that Razor talked about is highly likely to be the rifthounds and all the known variations of it to this date, as simple as that. Now, things go more into detail if we pay attention to a particular key description of all these wolves: They do display certain biological behaviors similar to those of real wolves. Perhaps they feel jealousy towards these their “next of kin”, and dream of replacing them someday.

From descriptions we can see two distinct things: 1) a dream of replacing their analogous kin and 2) negative feelings. 

None of these things are limited to the rifthounds and their variations, as it’s replicated via the ruin machines, some of which were given a particular importance in the biomimesis (to mimic biochemical processes) or better said, they seek to be like already existing living beings. In a similar vein, there was one quest with Albedo serving at its core that lets on the fact that there are at least other two like him, one deemed a failure by Gold and abandoned within Durin and the other presumably created by the Primordial Albedo. The narrative concerning him gave away to the prospect that there can exist other beings that want to replicate the real deal of what they represent and will do so (the kid’s dad may be an example, completely speculative on my part though).

The negative feelings part is the most important to me in this regard. Following the ruin machines talk, we have part of the Ruin Serpent’s description that says: It is said that giant serpents lurk in the dark fissures deep beneath the ground. Burning with eternal resentment and malice toward the world above, they throw themselves into digging great tunnels, yet none know what their malicious purposes are… But that’s not where it ends, as the rifthounds’ jealousy for their analogous kin aka already existing wolves. We also have Durin, who is said to have attacked Mondstadt out of jealousy for the nation’s prosperity even though the Festering Desire lore suggests that he was in a dream-like stupor where no ill feelings from his side exist whatsoever.

As one last touch to this subject, I want to point out that at least the non-mechanical creatures that serve as Gold’s creations (Durin, wolves for now) may harbor her feelings in actuality. Considering the detrimental conditions Khaenri’ah must’ve endured to the point that they had to come up with an art (Khemia) in order to create themselves food as most likely the dire conditions they were under wouldn’t allow for regular lifeforms to survive, it’s understandable that she and many other Khaenri’ahn people may have been jealous of other nations that were more prosperous like Mondstadt which seems to have taken the short end of the stick in terms of becoming a target of jealousy vs Liyue and Inazuma that weren’t described in any moment as such.

This post got pretty lengthy but I hope that everything I explained here makes sense! Thank you dearly for sending this, know that I’m honored to find out that people read my headcanons / study posts (this is just a me thing, but I just post them there and don’t think much about whether people actually do lol, they’re content that I make use for Dain given his deep ties to the lore) and want to engage with me in theory discussions ♥︎ Now, I’ll leave the small drop of what I mentioned earlier that concerns leaks / rumors that can add to the premise of Khaenri’ah being a “betrayer of winds” so that you can skip it easily if you don’t want to read it:

It’s said that the statue of the Seven that was stolen belongs to an area nearby the dandelion field, and old leaked maps of the entirety of Teyvat suggest a black castle that seems to neighbor this place. Said castle is said to belong to Khaenri’ah. If it turns out to be true, why choose Mondstadt as the location to place a castle? Hopefully we’ll find out one day if this is true.

@opalscales ✦