#the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 1 (AO3)

Originally posted on 1/22/2024

Summary:

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

hibitchcus flower just slid into the server.

hibitchcus flower just changed their nickname to TIM TAM TOM

Turbo nerd as in the movie joined the party.

TIM TAM TOM just changed Turbo nerd as in the movie's nickname to sash (❁´◡`❁)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Acceptable only because of the kaomoji

Good to see you, Blackwood, Martin

TIM TAM TOM: ugh god marto please tell me you just made that account 5 minutes ago

Blackwood, Martin: I'm sorry I've literally never heard of Discord!!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Give him a break he probably thought it was an official work thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): Directly affiliated with the Magnus Institute, London

TIM TAM TOM: please sash no jon references this early in the morning

Blackwood, Martin: It's 11:30?

TIM TAM TOM: if it's the AM it's too early in the morning

sash (❁´◡`❁): You voluntarily wake up at six, don't act like you're one of us

Blackwood, Martin: You're a morning person?

sash (❁´◡`❁): He goes to bed no later than 10 pm except for on special occasions

TIM TAM TOM: why would you call me out like this

TIM TAM TOM: im wounded

Blackwood, Martin: You should be

sash (❁´◡`❁): You should be

TIM TAM TOM: youre ganging up on me already i see how it is

TIM TAM TOM: also your name is giving me hives

TIM TAM TOM just changed Blackwood, Martin's nickname to MARTY PARTY

MARTY PARTY: Now I'm getting hives

sash (❁´◡`❁): You can change it in the top left corner

MARTY PARTY: Thank you!!

MARTY PARTY just changed their nickname to mahtin

mahtin: There, more acceptable

TIM TAM TOM: what did i JUST say about jon references

mahtin: You don't pronounce the 'r' in my name either? Nobody does? This is London?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but jon is the most intense about it

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN YOU FORMATTED THIS INCORRECTLY!! JAIL FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN THE STANDARD WAY THAT WE FORMAT THINGS HERE HAS TWELVE-POINT FONT, NOT ELEVEN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN I DO NOT CARE IF YOU HAVENT DONE A REPORT LIKE THIS SINCE YOUR MASTER'S THAT YOU GOT TEN YEARS AGO! I'M GOING TO BE A BITCH ABOUT IT ANYWAY!

TIM TAM TOM: MAHTIN!

sash (❁´◡`❁): MAHTIN!

mahtin: I mean, to be fair, I truly haven't got a clue on how to do half these reports and follow-ups

mahtin: It's been too long since I've done anything outside of, you know, Library Things

mahtin: I don't blame him for being frustrated sometimes

TIM TAM TOM: once you get used to it its not hard at all

TIM TAM TOM: esp since you did it in uni all u gotta do is dust off them memoreez

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon is unecessarily dramatic and mean about it though

TIM TAM TOM: ^^

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's like that with most things, though, so it's fine

sash (❁´◡`❁): He doesn't mean anything personal by it

TIM TAM TOM: we only bully him a little bit for it

mahtin: ah

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... 'ah?'

TIM TAM TOM: ??

mahtin: I see

mahtin: I may owe him an apology?

sash (❁´◡`❁): You what

TIM TAM TOM: im torn

TIM TAM TOM: on the one hand hell yeah lets go marto my man

TIM TAM TOM: on the other hand jon? is he okay? did you actually hurt his feelings ? the only reason hes not in the discord is bc hes fucking insufferable rn and also bc electronics dont like him-

mahtin: I could tell you what I did? To make you not torn?

TIM TAM TOM: no

mahtin: Well I'm going to say it anyway to determine if an apology is in order

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yes go ahead don't let Tim convince you otherwise

mahtin: Well

mahtin: I may have started a bit of a fight with him?

mahtin: Might have implied that he didn't pay attention in Uni?

mahtin: I was completely pulling it out of my arse but I was tired of being corrected on a bunch of little things like I'm SORRY it's been over TEN YEARS since I did ANY education

mahtin: So I dug in my heels on some inane little thing and now it's kind of. On sight

mahtin: This has been going on for a few days now? I'm surprised nobody picked up on it honestly

mahtin: I mean who has an argument about spiders? Even most arachnophobes agree that the jumping ones are cute! They're small and fuzzy what's not to love!

TIM TAM TOM: martin you do not owe him an apology

TIM TAM TOM: i think you promoted yourself to his best friend actually

sash (❁´◡`❁): He's going to be asking you out any day now

TIM TAM TOM: married within the year

sash (❁´◡`❁): However I wouldn't bring up spiders again with him he's got the 'intense arachnophobia' note on his employee file

mahtin: He showed you his file?

sash (❁´◡`❁): No

mahtin: Oh

TIM TAM TOM: if sash says dont bring something up w someone it means she hacked into somewhere she shouldnt and saw things nobody wanted her to see

TIM TAM TOM: she does that with everyone btw

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's easier to just look at the 'phobia' part than dance around like "hey, most people at the Fear Research Institute are absolutely fucking terrified of something, which club are you in? what should I not talk about with you?"

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's EFFICIENT and not personal information in the FEAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE it's basically an icebreaker question in Artifact Storage

sash (❁´◡`❁): For example

sash (❁´◡`❁): No clowns or mannequins with Tim

TIM TAM TOM: or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or creepy dolls

sash (❁´◡`❁): I'm fine with pretty much anything in all honesty but I'll let you know if that changes

mahtin: Does my file say anything? I don't remember what I said my fear was

sash (❁´◡`❁): Yours was something existential like 'loneliness' or something like that

sash (❁´◡`❁): I don't tend to get that deep with my coworkers so if it's not going to come up in conversation I don't put in as much effort to remember it

mahtin: ... Interesting

mahtin: I don't remember what I said my fear was but I'm fairly certain it was something concrete

mahtin: Might've been snakes? I used to be scared of snakes for a while

mahtin: Then I got a part time job at a pet store for some extra money and their snakes were cool so no more of that

mahtin: But I was only asked the fear question once? During my interview?

sash (❁´◡`❁): ... Weird

TIM TAM TOM: ... indeed

[fanonical]

Weird question, but “how” exactly would you recommend someone gets into Homestuck? I know it’s very long with a lot of characters and timelines, is there anything in particular I should take careful note of? I also know there’s a lot of additional content outside of the comic on the actual website. Do you recommend that too? Should I start with the comic and read that and finish it, and then move on to the supplemental stuff, assuming that’s good?

I know that I’m overthinking it but the 1mil+ word count intimidates me a little! I should add that I read the first act or so years ago and know enough about the “main” kids/trolls to be able to keep track of them, but that’s it, I’m very entry level.

(Also, just wanted to say that I saw the link to your story on ao3 when I went to send this ask and that I really love it. It’s genuinely so beautiful and I’ll look forward to every update. 🩷 I’m not too good at articulating my thoughts into the proper review that you deserve, but I did want to let you know just how much I absolutely adore Laika and her story.)

hi! thanks for the kind words about Laika, this totally made my day. this, and the request to teach you how to read homestuck. i hope im up to the task.

so first off, you want the Unofficial Homestuck Collection if at all possible. For this, ideally you need a computer/laptop and around ~4gb of storage space; buy a USB stick if you need to. That’s actually not a lot of storage space at all but apparently a lot of young people these days don’t have computers, so if you are absolutely 100% bound to using a mobile device, there’s an experimental browser branch of the Unofficial Homestuck Collection that does a pretty good job, too.

The reason you’ll want to read it on the UHC is because 1. as of January 2024, the official Homestuck website is pretty broken (a lot of it relied on the now retired Shockwave Flash) but the UHC is basically a perfect “as-it-was-back-then” version of Homestuck made to archive the true experience. It’s recommended by the author even!

The Unofficial Homestuck Collection also collects much of the additional content you allude to, and very conveniently, provides a “New Reader Mode” that “unlocks” new additional content as/when you reach the page closest to when it was released, which really streamlines a bunch of the stuff you’re anxious about — not only does the collection provide it for you, it very graciously curates it to reflect Homestuck as it happened.

As for if you should read anything else before Homestuck, that’s up to you. Homestuck was the fourth piece of fiction under a collection of works called “MS Paint Adventures” — the other three aren’t necessarily canon to Homestuck, but they’re referenced pretty frequently. In the opinion of author Andrew Hussie & a lot of the classic fan base, it’s easiest to start with Problem Sleuth and progress on to Homestuck if you want to “get” how the world/structure functions (Homestuck is not a traditional webcomic — the audience would submit commands for the characters to perform as their next action. This is a little more apparent in the earlier MSPAs). Personally, I think Jailbreak, the first MSPA, is also unmissable but it wouldn’t be wrong to go back and read it later either. And most people (myself included) just started on Homestuck itself.

The biggest piece of advice I would give you is to take notes, and also, that every “piece” of the comic is just as important as every other piece — the dialogues don’t supplement the narration, the narration doesn’t supplement the images, etc, they are all equally important & a lot of Homestuck is told through unreliable chat log discussions, a straight up manipulative authorial voice & quick paced visual storytelling, so it can be a bit hectic and opaque first time around.

The second biggest piece of advice I would give is to read it with a group of friends if possible, and if not possible, consider reading the dialogue aloud to yourself sometimes (or at least give the characters voices in your head) because I think hearing the different characters vocally interact can really help one to “get” the dialogue & complex concepts being put down

Finally, my biggest piece of advice is that I have been running a Homestuck workshop in my discord server where I’ve been guiding a group of around seven new Homestuck readers in “how” to read the comic because it’s quite a hands on experience; right now our live read is almost half way through but we can provide you with resources & help & guidance if you need anything, so if you want a link for that just send an ask off anon and we can do that 🥰

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat

Chapter 2 (AO3)

Rating: T

Originally Posted 3/9/2024

Summary:

In which the Archival Assistants try to help out, and come to a Conclusion

OFFICIAL archive discord

#general

sash (❁´◡`❁): Found a Weird Statement

sash (❁´◡`❁): But I also don't want Jon to see this one?

sash (❁´◡`❁): More accurately: it's about spiders and he is, according to the files, on the more 'extreme' end of arachnophobia

sash (❁´◡`❁): And we've all figured out how the Weird Statements are by now, right?

TIM TAM TOM: what

TIM TAM TOM: i mean i get the whole "dont make the arachnophobe read a whole story about spiders coming to kill us all or whatever" thing but ????

mahtin: Sash what do you mean by Weird Statement?

TIM TAM TOM: seconded?

sash (❁´◡`❁): Oh you know! The ones that don't record electronically!

TIM TAM TOM: i do not know, actually

TIM TAM TOM: all of the statements ive been digitizing have recorded fine?

mahtin: Same for me? Granted, I don't do many, reading aloud is a nightmare for me

sash (❁´◡`❁): Oh same!

TIM TAM TOM: SAME GOOD GOD

TIM TAM TOM: we should be able to put these things onto a computer and have a tts read it. make siri tell me about the evil demon spiders

sash (❁´◡`❁): Real

mahtin: Real

sash (❁´◡`❁): Honestly Jon is such a real one for pulling all of our weight on that

TIM TAM TOM: lets pour one out for jonathan sims, the one man carrying our department

TIM TAM TOM: a true asset to the dyslexic community

TIM TAM TOM: thank you jon

sash (❁´◡`❁): Thank you Jon

mahtin: Thank you Jon

mahtin: Although I do not have dyslexia, just a stutter that likes to strike at the worst possible times

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's okay, you can be an honorary dyslexic

TIM TAM TOM: ONE OF US

TIM TAM TOM: ONE OF US

TIM TAM TOM: ONE OF US

mahtin: Thank you for bestowing this great honor upon me

TIM TAM TOM: yw

TIM TAM TOM: anyway sash wtf are you talking about

sash (❁´◡`❁): Oh yeah! Got very sidetracked for a moment, sorry

sash (❁´◡`❁): The Weird Statements are the ones that only properly record on tape recorders? It's why Jon told us to just record a sentence or two from a statement onto our laptops then check to make sure it wasn't corrupted

TIM TAM TOM: tbh kinda thought that was bc of the lack of service or signal in this deep dark basement of hell

mahtin: Same

sash (❁´◡`❁): No it's because of the Spooky

TIM TAM TOM: that tracks

mahtin: Is there an actual pattern to it besides the lack of digital recording? They can't be the only true ones in here

TIM TAM TOM: i mean

TIM TAM TOM: tbf nothing ive recorded has ever held up to proper scrutiny

mahtin: There was the one that I had to report to the police?

TIM TAM TOM: yeah but that wasnt spooky. or supernatural. or any kind of synonym

TIM TAM TOM: it was just a straight up admission of murder

TIM TAM TOM: im not fond of reporting it to the cops mind you but they owe us a favor now

TIM TAM TOM: a favor we shall cash in as we please :)

TIM TAM TOM: pigs aside marto have any other statements of yours actually held up

mahtin: ... No

mahtin: The only things that ever match between statements and follow-up and everything are the ones that Jon records on those cassettes

mahtin: . I understand now

sash (❁´◡`❁): Exactly

sash (❁´◡`❁): Something(??) is going on here and I intend to find out what

sash (❁´◡`❁): Not. You know. At the present moment

sash (❁´◡`❁): But I intend to!!

TIM TAM TOM: i believe in you sasha

mahtin: Bold of you to assume that we will not all find out by proxy

TIM TAM TOM: shes gonna have to walk me through it ibr

sash (❁´◡`❁): We will all find out together 😌

sash (❁´◡`❁): This is a threat 😌

TIM TAM TOM: sash is gonna get us all killed via spooky

mahtin: She'll do it in the name of getting answers

sash (❁´◡`❁): You're damned right I will

sash (❁´◡`❁): But at the moment I do need to figure out what to do with this Weird and True Statement

sash (❁´◡`❁): Carlos Vittery, being stalked by a ghost spider, probably not something that Jon wants crossing his desk

mahtin: One of us can read it instead? I'm fine with spiders so I can do it

mahtin: We'd just have to Mission Impossible a tape recorder from Jon's office

TIM TAM TOM: on it

sash (❁´◡`❁): Good! Now that's sorted

sash (❁´◡`❁): I do want to warn you about the side effects?

mahtin: The what

TIM TAM TOM: the what

sash (❁´◡`❁): Side effects! You love me so much and are so lucky to have me because imagine going in blind!

sash (❁´◡`❁): Imagine! Picking up an innocuous statement! Then being subjected to THAT

sash (❁´◡`❁): Imagine :) Doing :) That :)

mahtin: I have a feeling that you might have done that

sash (❁´◡`❁): Ask me how I know about the side effects. Go on

sash (❁´◡`❁): Oh wait yes. Martin you are correct :)

sash (❁´◡`❁): So first things first you will magically gain the ability to Read Aloud

sash (❁´◡`❁): You will not stutter. You will not skip or add words. You will not stop midsentence because you forgot how to pronounce 'capricious.'

sash (❁´◡`❁): This is completely unintentional on your part okay I cannot stress this enough You Will Barely Notice

mahtin: That sounds like a good thing?

mahtin: I mean I know you're not done but that does sound like a good thing

sash (❁´◡`❁): This is exclusive to the Weird Statement it's temporary

TIM TAM TOM: the scary thing wants you to read it

TIM TAM TOM: interesting

TIM TAM TOM: should i get the corkboard and red string

sash (❁´◡`❁): Another day

sash (❁´◡`❁): Second thing! You're not going to want to stop reading

sash (❁´◡`❁): Well I mean your feelings aren't really affected

sash (❁´◡`❁): It's going to be difficult to stop reading it's like putting your hand in front of moving water to make it stop

sash (❁´◡`❁): Or pulling apart opposite magnets

mahtin: Noted! I'm not going to be trying to stop so I should be fine

mahtin: Unless it puts me on loop or something

TIM TAM TOM: hit the desk really hard if it puts you on loop

TIM TAM TOM: we'll figure something out

sash (❁´◡`❁): It shouldn't do that but if it does I'll help break you out

sash (❁´◡`❁): Jon hasn't said anything about problems like that so I thiiink it's okay?

sash (❁´◡`❁): Which leads me to my third point!

sash (❁´◡`❁): They give you a weird sort of brain fog after, the kind it's really difficult to work through

sash (❁´◡`❁): I think it's part of why Jon works so late so often now because he did not used to do that in Research

TIM TAM TOM: i concur it's mildly unusual behavior

TIM TAM TOM: hes always been a workaholic but not to this extent

sash (❁´◡`❁): Right so the day you're reading the Statement you really shouldn't try do do much else taxing until the next day

mahtin: Okay! I'll do it Friday afternoon then :)

sash (❁´◡`❁): Perfect!

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

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Closed Doors: A crossover fic for My Hero Academia and The Magnus Archives. Chapter 12 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 3000 words.

fireworks (and their ashes): A fic for The Magnus Archives. Jon x Tim. Post-Unknowing, set right at the start of s4. Chapter 4 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

the gremlin zone: A fic for My Hero Academia. A groupchat crackfic, starring the Todoroki family. Chapter 15 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1000 words.

how to live with yourself: A fic for My Hero Academia. The premise is that Fuyumi killed a man in self-defense when she was younger, and slowly learns about how to live with herself, as well as how other people close to her have learned to live with themselves for their pasts- some of which she never knew about. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

in love i've always been a mercenary: A fic for My Hero Academia. Pre-canon AU, from Shimura Nana's POV. Gran Torino suddenly and unexpectedly defects to her side after being All for One's right hand man, but something's fishy about the whole thing. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 4000 words.

Jonathan Sims Is Dead In The End: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Time travel AU where Sasha is the Archivist, stuck alone in the apocalypse. She goes back in time to fix things, and is only kind of successful. Chapter 11 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1500 words.

One Loop at a Time: A fic for My Hero Academia. Time loop crackfic (crack treated seriously, at the moment) where, with every loop, someone else in 1-A (or adjacent) is pulled in. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 3000 words.

Sins of the Father: A fic for My Hero Academia. Midoriya is the son of All for One and is in line to take it all over, what with his lessons on all of it and being forced to murder his way through anybody his father brings to him for execution. He wants out, but he doesn't know how to even begin. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

some heroes wear masks (some of those masks are stolen): A fic for My Hero Academia. Midoriya Izuku is quirkless and almost out of options- all that he has left is to defect to villainy or starve. Staying alive doesn't necessarily mean throwing away his conscience. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Groupchat Crackfic, currently starring the s1 archival crew. More characters will be added. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1000 words.

Watchers: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Tim is falling to the Beholding, and he and Jon have to try to get along if either of them wants to figure anything out. Pre-Unknowing. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

We all fall apart: A fic for My Hero Academia. Touya and Fuyumi are twins, both of whom died in a "training accident" ten years ago. Natsuo and Shouto try to live normal lives, while Dabi seems to be anything but human. Chapter 20 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1500 words.