#donna lynn in this moment

[imdonnalynn]

In This Moment (1/?)

Summary: During an evaluation with Bourne, Nicky becomes privy to a new behavior.

Pairing: Jason Bourne/Nicky Parsons

Rating: R

Word Count: 810

Warnings: Language, violence, stalking, possessiveness, mental abuse (on the operatives). Warnings can and will change with any updates. (If you wish for more detail then message me for more details at your discretion)

A/N: I started this right after The Bourne Ultimatum came out in theaters in 2007. The relationship between Bourne and Nicky is a confusing one. From the first film to the last you get no clues as to what they were before his amnesia. You get a tiny glimpse of a possibility of something in the cafe scene in Ultimatum but that is it.

Disclaimer: The characters of the Bourne franchise do not belong to me. So do not sue me.

"...have you developed any compulsive behavior?" Nicky asked conversationally as she always did with each of the operatives check in evaluations. All operatives were compulsive and obsessive to a degree. They wouldn't be good at their jobs if they weren't. But some of the questions she even found odd, but she didn't dare question them. To Treadstone she was sure they had their purpose. It was then she realized he hadn't answered which was odd for him because he was sharp, never hesitated. She glanced up from her report and saw the conflicted look upon his face. "Bourne?" she asked carefully, tentatively. 

He was leaned forward, elbows on his knees. He licked his dry lips and tilted his head toward her but continued to stare at the floor. "I've..." he started but his voice trailed off. "...I've taken to, watching you...following you..." 

Nicky froze and stared at him. Did she just hear him right? Did he just say he followed her? Watched her? Was he stalking her like some psychopath? Alarms went off in her head to end the session, call Langley and inform Conklin that his number one had fell off his rocker. But at the same time, she should've seen this coming. 

Three months back the safe house had been compromised and an active target of Treadstone had come for her. He didn't come to kill her but question her. Nonetheless his methods weren't going to be nice. Luckily, Bourne showed up at just the right time and killed the assailant in hand-to-hand combat. It was the first and only time she'd seen an operative in action. It was the first time she'd seen someone killed before her eyes. She'll never forget that night as long as she lived.

"Why have you been following me?" she asked quietly. 

His shoulders went taunt then relaxed and he rubbed his hands together. "It wasn't all the time...at first." He risked a quick glance at her then quickly looked back to his hands. "But then, I found myself coming back more and more. Then it turned into an everyday thing. Now...even when I'm on a mission I can't focus..." 

Not good...

Nicky was stunned beyond words. It wasn't everyday you find out that a thirty million dollar killing machine had a compulsion to stalk you. "How long?" she found herself asking before she realized. 

"Seven months." He briefly closed his eyes as if fighting off a headache. 

He's stressed. "Headache?" she asked.

He merely nodded as he reached up to rub his temple.

"Are they getting worse?" 

There was a long moment of silence before he finally spoke. "They're like a jackhammer in my head but it kind of goes away when..." he didn't finish as he sat up in his chair as if it had gone completely away. 

"When what?" she prodded carefully. 

He examined his hands more as he started to speak. "...when I'm focused it doesn't bother me as much it just...falls to the background."

Is that why he followed her, watched her? To keep from having the headaches? In a way she should be thankful it's not some innocent bystander he's taken to stalking. 

"I know I shouldn't..." she was ripped from her thoughts as he spoke. "...but you're not protected enough," he looked at her then with a penetrating stare. "You watch over us, but no one watches over you. You don't even arm yourself."

She shifted defensively, "I keep a firearm close by."

He shook his head, "A loaded 9mm in a lockbox isn't going to do you any good when you're caught by surprise. Neither is the alarm button under your desk."

She shook her head as if to say shut up, but he must have known she was about to rebuff. 

"Don't tell me it's not an issue," he insisted impatiently. "You've been found before you can be found again."

A look of realization crossed her features. "Is that how you were there? Were you watching me that night?" she demanded quietly. 

"Yes," he said it without hesitation. 

Nicky had to control her breathing to keep the panic at bay. 

"Nicky," he spoke lowly as if he could smell her fear. 

She felt like the walls were closing in on her and stood from her desk. He stood with her, watched her to make sure she wasn't going to pass out on him.

"I don't mean to scare you that's not my intention..."

"...you're not scaring me Bourne it's just..." she closed her eyes and ran her hands through her hair with a sigh. It felt like she might throw up any second, then pass out. "I don't feel so good..." She felt hot and cold, light headed, and before she knew it she felt a set of strong arms envelope her. The feeling of weightlessness took her and everything faded to black.

2nd A/N: If anyone would like me to continue then let me know! Thank you! But I have this listed on my masterlist as a one shot for the moment.

[tv-moments]

The Perfect Couple

“Someone Could Get Hurt”

Director: Susanne Bier

DoP: Roberto De Angelis, Shane Hurlbut

[thoughtkick]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[perfectquote]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[quotemadness]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[surqrised]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[sapphicmuppet]

unresolved things still in my brain post fhjy finale

okay hihi this is not me trying to nitpick I just have a lot of unresolved thoughts!! okay here we go

Buckys arc:

I don’t have a ton of stuff to say just generally his arc being unresolved, being counted as a follower of Cassandra but that never being formally gone over, him still living with Mac and Donna, him skipping class, the drama with his adventuring party etc.

Bobby Dawn:

another self explanatory one, Sandra Lynn never finding out he was teaching at school, him escaping scot free, the drama in the sol pantheon, him never finding buddy etc. Just a lot of unanswered questions

Mazey Graduating:

for having a finale that has a lot of emphasis on the Fabian/Mazey relationship I wish they went over that Mazey IS a senior and graduated at the end of the year and is presumably going to college in the fall, and just the logistics of her being a college student still dating someone in highschool, just interesting having them get together when they’re already going in separate paths. I wish they went over it!! because now in my brain I have to justify it as a summer thing because they’re actively going to be doing other stuff the next school year.

Kipperlilly (and Jace):

okay so. Kipperlily was never rage starred or she willing took on the ragestar whatever I NEED TO KNOW MORE. Ik the point is that the ratgrinders suck and are inexperienced heroes but the realization that she essentially took all of The Ratgrinders down with her and gave them up to Porter, wasn’t being controlled by him in the way the rest of them were, had an even more direct hand in Lucy’s death, but also was still being manipulated by Porter for years?? I need it to get gone over. Also Kipperlily staying dead? to be clear it shouldn’t be The Bad Kids’ jobs to have to deal with the moral question on if the ratgrinders deserve being revived but there’s so much unsaid about Kipperlily and so much she didn’t get to do ugh. And in her final moments her absolute hatred towards Riz just being justified? In her eyes. Idk. Lots of thoughts. AND JACE!! Porter ADMITS to killing Jace himself and shatterstarring him and says he will do it again, but also Jace is clearly under Porter’s control to a degree and wasn’t revived too. I wish we knew more about him because as of what we know right now it seems crazy to keep him dead without questioning him and with him being Porters partner in this whole thing he could fully reveal everything Porter and The Ratgrinders had been doing the past three years.

Bakur:

idk just minor stuff with Bakur. He never regained his elf status which was interesting? We never saw the resolution of his fight with Lydia etc

Kalina:

Okay the acknowledgment in the finale that Kalina seems to genuinely have her own free will and moral compass outside of Cassandra is making me crazy because I just assumed she was tied to Cassandra so when she was good Kalina was too by default but there’s so much not cleared up about her. She DID lure Cassandra to the synod where she was weak and fostered the rage in Cassandra about Kristen’s treatment of her. She killed herself and was trying to communicate to Riz about Porter. Ankarna has NEVER trusted her. She had the spies tongue with Porter. She’s escaping with Buddy at the end. WHATS HAPPENING WHAT IS SHE DOING AGGHHHHH

[quotefeeling]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[thehopefulquotes]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[resqectable]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[stay-close]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[thepersonalquotes]

“If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.” - Donna Lynn

[weylersource]

“I think anyone who opened their heart enough to love without restraint and subsequently were devastated by loss knows that in that moment you are forever changed; a apart of you is no longer whole. Some will never again love with that level of abandon where life is perceived as innocent and the threat of loss seems implausible. Love and loss, therefore, are linked.” ― Donna Lynn Hope

[thoughtkick]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[perfectquote]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn

[nightlyquotes]

If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.

Donna Lynn