#don't worry we're cool now
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"omg by the way if you think about it you and me r basically stolitz" -me 7/26
literally not even 10 minutes later we got into a joke argument except my autistic ass did not get that it was a joke and I got very mad so because of our stolas and blitzø "unable to communicate" asses, I ghosted them for a solid four hours (they were also mad at me though) and then came back and apologised 🤪
so like I guess we're stolitz^2 LOL
#don't worry we're cool now#needless to say we remember to use tone tags now 😭#'full moon without the full moon real' -me after we made up LMFAO#stupid ass argument anyway#AND OF FUCKING COURSE IT WAS SUCH A BLITZØ ARGUMENT ATP YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL ME BLITZØ BUCKZO#(stols said they'd take our (fake) dog...? kid..? (our friend) to the pound...#...and I was like nuh uh idc if she's a dog she's my kid bro she been my kid since day one you aren't getting rid of her...#(that's some blitzø adopting loona deja vu right there 😭)#anyway some other shit happened and then we HB s2ep8 that shit LOL)#okay we get it angel#fucking loser baby#blitzø#stolas#stolitz
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hear me out on this ok. ROTS AU where Anakin still turns to the dark side but that's Palpatine's problem.
So, Palpatine decides last minute that ehhhh maybe dooku could come in handy later and he doesn't encourage Anakin to kill him, and Dooku gets arrested and imprisoned in the Jedi Temple awaiting trial. (Also he didn't get his hands cut off because of uhh plot reasons?)
Fast forward.
Palpatine is encouraging Anakin towards the Dark side, tells him about Plagueis the Wise, etc. etc. But see, the thing is, Anakin is at the end of his tether, probably hasn't slept more than three hours over the past week, and has no remaining impulse control or inhibitions, and upon hearing that the Dark Side can save people from death, his first thought is, "wait a sec, we've got a Sith Lord in-house at the moment!" and he sprints out of the space opera and books it back to the temple.
Now, Dooku has been calmly waiting in Temple custody, confident that Darth Sidious will arrange his escape. But THEN Anakin barges into the cell like OMG THE CHANCELLOR TOLD ME THE SITH KNOW HOW TO KEEP PEOPLE FROM DYING AND I'M HAVING DREAMS ABOUT SOMEONE DYING AND I NEED YOUR HELP TO SAVE THEM
At which point, Dooku realizes Palpatine's plan. He's going to tempt Skywalker to the Dark side and REPLACE DOOKU. this is totally uncool.
So he's like "...who are you dreaming about, exactly?"
Anakin freezes. He can't admit it's Padme because their relationship is top-secret and he can't admit how important she is to him so he tries to think of a good fib and goes "uhhhh OBI-WAN! Obi-Wan, it's Obi-Wan, I'm dreaming about Obi-Wan dying-" and he just throws himself into the drama because now he IS imagining obi-wan dying because Obi-Wan is fighting grievous at the moment and he MIGHT ACTUALLY DIE and that's in addition to Padme dying and he's totally spiraling at this point- "pleasepleaseplease you gotta help me he's like the only father i've ever known I don't know what i'll do without obi-wan I have to save him YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT TO DO I'LL DO ANYTHING--"
Dooku begins to smile.
(Would stealing Skywalker out from under his Master's nose be petty? Oh, yeah.)
(But it would also be very, very satisfying.)
---
Obi-Wan calls in to a council meeting to report his defeat of Grievous, but before he can say so, Mace announces that Dooku has escaped and the Sith Master has been killed.
Silence falls between the eleven councilmembers (eleven, not twelve, because their newest one is conspicuously absent. Obi-Wan wonders just what Anakin's up to now. Honestly, that boy will be the death of him.)
Obi-Wan clears his throat.
"...indeed," he says, trying to handle the shocking news with composure. "Well... at least we're down to one Sith, now."
Another awkward pause.
"Yeah, about that--" Mace begins.
#Dooku totes anakin back to the Separatists but Anakin's loyalty has really only ever been to like 3 people so he kinda doesn't care#as long as he doesn't have to fight obi-wan or ahsoka he's cool with it#his favorite part of the job is when he has to 'kidnap' padme and/or their kids for uhhhh Political Reasons#and they get to hang out as a family#obi-wan is always the one sent to 'rescue' padme#the rescues mostly consist of obi-wan rolling his eyes while Anakin and Padme draw out a goodbye longer than a midwesterner#(secretly obi-wan thinks it's kinda funny)#also as Anakin is now a Sith he learns about all the Sithly Plans including the clone chips and he immediately panics#'THIS COULD HURT OBI-WAN OR AHSOKA WE HAVE TO STOP IT'#and offers free healthcare (aka chip removal) to all clones on separatist planets (including active warzones) and somehow it works?#despite being the most drama-queen Jedi out there Anakin somehow becomes the most chill sith ever#like he will absolutely fly off the handle if anyone threatens Obi-Wan or Padme or Ahsoka but he's not into the causing-suffering thing#(which I know isn't how the dark side works really but for the purpose of funnyness yes it is)#he's pretty calm in general though! still wants to help people!#dooku sends him to conquer a republic planet that's fighting the separatists and he gets there and he's like#WELL OF COURSE THEY'RE FIGHTING US! LOOK AT ALL THE PROBLEMS WE'RE CAUSING FOR THEM! THEIR ECONOMY IS IN SHAMBLES!#*to the planetary leaders* don't worry I know someone in the Senate who can help with relief aid. in the meantime let's talk treaties!#when he gets back dooku is like YOU ARE A *SITH* YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CAUSE *SUFFERING*#and Anakin is like I TIED ALL THEIR SHOELACES TOGETHER WITH THE FORCE WHILE WE WERE IN DIPLOMATIC MEETINGS WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?#jessica's random thoughts#star wars au
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Watched new hope yesterday and have a vague idea floating around in my head... But first I wanna see something
#hold on putting a tangentially related idea in a box until the poll is over bc it'd obviously win#just consider both these possibilities and the humor i could get from them#A. 'hello brother my friend was killed by my student can you raise his son for me' 'I'm gonna tell him your friend was a drug runner'#B. 'hello brother of my student i am so sorry he's dead uh would you like to raise his orphaned son' 'i TOLD him not to be a jedi. yeah ok.'#it's fun when some of the ot stuff becomes 'ah so they were lying'#and it's fun when other stuff is just like 'nevermind it didn't happen don't worry about it'#but sometimes I'm like cool. but we're playing pretend now so it did happen and i am going to worry about it#poll
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(mgv) wilson lashing out at house for making fun of him for wanting pups and spitting that this, too, can be blamed partly on house, just like how julie said house may not have broken up their marriage but certainly didn't help, either. and house looks away from him, gaze flickering as he processes. his neediness has once again kept wilson from happiness. and if anyone deserves to be happy, it's him.
"pup me, then."
"scuzi?"
and house just shrugs, struggling to meet wilson's eyes. "you have no wife, no girlfriend, and in spite of the fact that you could adopt, you've not done so, ergo you want one with your DNA. i could give you that if you wanted."
"could you?"
"last i checked, i did have those parts, but it doesn't hurt to double check--"
"you know what i mean."
and house drops his gaze again, bounces his cane on the floor. "if that would make you happy.... i would."
the beat of silence is heavy. house can't decipher the look wilson's giving him.
"let me..... let me think about it."
#mgv#house mgv#hilson#now i'm just thinking of like. a whole arc where they try to be cool about it#trying to pretend it's perfunctory and not this intense life changing thing for them#“my situationship boybestfriend offered to surrogate and give me a baby but we're just friends”#and wilson worries because he anticipates some big drastic bad thing regarding house's prior miscarriage trauma#like regretting this and inducing a miscarriage through an overdose or something as dreadful#but then we see house in his office staring at a whiteboard of symptoms and casually tapping out one of beethoven's ->#compositions on the ever-slight swell of his stomach#they become bondmates for the pregnancy but after the pup's born they just. keep renewing it. they don't talk about it#they don't really need to.
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haha! bit ill
#bakuspeech#delete later#I definitely don't have a fever my forehead doesn't feel that hot (thermometer shows 38.6 degree c) well#this is a bit of a high fever for a cold I think. so I might be in for the A virus goin around rn#Ive headed it of when my throat started hurting so Im not coughing a lot#and the guideline says stay home until I get worried. and I made my own food today so Im not worried yet lol#but yeah tldr: sick. not a major chance of it getting worse but I'm keepin an eye on it#so uh. wont be talking much for the next week probably! not that I say a lot nowadays lmao#dont worry about me. I do miss drawing tho have to sit out of drawing yet again.... auuuu#cool story I'll tell u guys later. not now tho I gotta lay down probably#okay alright have a good night lads#we strong! we're strong! we chill n we'll get thru this
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lately i've been looking back a lot on how college was a traumatising time in my life, but there were some genuinely wonderful people there who inspired me constantly and taught me newer perspectives and ideas i would have never been able to discover outside of my bubble
i never had the chance to learn enough or hang out much with them due to my unfortunate situation at the time. isolation made me distrustful and paranoid, not to mention how i turned easily exhausted in social situations. i see these people in better places now and i'm so incredibly happy for them, but it also gave me reflection on the things that were stolen from me during those formative years.
i can only hope to move forward in better ways and remind myself it's never too late to build something out of myself. one day i'll catch up.
#i was in an extremely abusive relationship that i only managed to escape from during lockdown#very grateful to the circle of people who helped me out in doing so#i had to come to terms that the person wasn't a good person at all#and that they isolated me from literally everyone#my current relationship is much much more healthier and brings me joy and growth every day#i was able to reconnect with old friends and hobbies and joys and even religion again#so don't worry i'm okay now the bad stuff is mostly in the past at this point#there are still plenty of old wounds and lies from that person that i have to fight every day#but things are objectively better now. i'm getting better now.#we're nearing year 2 of that fateful escape#here's to another year of doing cool shit again
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👍
#today i suddenly remembered that dress + tshirt is a combination that exists and allows you to wear summer dress in winter + not get cold.#really cool innovation.#today i am going to lidl then cleaning out my food cupboard well my one shelf in my shared cupboard then im going to draw hopefully#and because i did some revision yesterday i don't need to do much in the way of studying today which is good because the questions are exce#based and my screen time over the past few days has been diabolical and my eyes are crying and might explode if i look at a computer today#so im going to try to be hashtag offline today.#< says this while literally on tumblr#if i put some red in this outfit id be very sofad core actually. noted for future reference#anyway happy sunday everypony#^ there's a typo up there i meant excel#we worked on paper last semester but now we're doing some accounting on excel i was worried at first like oh nooo i have to learn a new#program but then i remembered im literally a gamer.not the best gamer it has to be said but i mean i 100% pw on the psp so i think i can#s rank microsoft excel.
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...okay gang we're. we're out of The Situation now. the cousins are no longer judging every social faux pas we make! we can stop feeling like a nuisance to everyone who knows us like!! anytime now!!
#please don't hate us please don't hate us...#why are we scared!! (<- carry over. we've had to act cishet and neurotypical for four days no breaks.)#you're worried about the punishment that follows allowing this facade to drop even slightly. a trained response from your relatives.#this is on top of the usual rsd/social anxiety you already have.#urgh. okay cool to recognize the source and all but we still feel like everyone hates us so. ruahghhh!!#we'll carry on anyway.#we're gonna have to give ourselves some leeway here. be patient with each other alright?#eat your ramen for now at least so you can take medicine.
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after surgery i'm buying myself pentiment goddamnit
#reasons to live#also new doctor who episodes#i've been wanting to play for soooo long but haven't really had the money to spend#so i'm using this as an excuse#trying to focus on all the fun/good/cool things that i can do after#seeing hozier later in the summer#watching the wild flowers come up in the backyard#this is hell but i will get through it and there WILL be an other side i will make sure of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#there's a chance we can get it done tomorrow if the doctor thinks it won't be super complicated#i hope we can cause the longer this goes the more we suffer#i just want it to be over#once i'm all healed i am going to smoke a cigarette and savor every fucking puff i haven't been able to smoke for over a k month now :/#another thing to look forward too#and i think i have a vinyl preordered???? am can never remember what other parts have bought#oh and i'm going to binge rewatch the hunger games (all of them) after surgery#been meaning to do that & im using this as an excuse to do nothing but watch movies all day#got some audiobooks downloaded that hopefully they'll let me listen to during (unless it's going to be loud (??) then i have music)#i'm taking my puppy stuffie husband got me when we had to live apart for a summer before we got married#puppy is so special to me#he goes everywhere with me#i love him so much#i would just hold him and cry and cry and cry when husband had to leave :((((#i am so scared#there's so many young parts too who are just i mean they are the ones holding a lot of this shit like i cant imagine what it's like for the#the little bit that leaks through to me is horrific and makes me want to fucking vomit#i'm worried for them#they're splitting bad :((( and i don't have any way to help#we're doing our tapping and tre and everything but idk how much that helps on the inside#idk man#it's all so much
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If they keep the “reds aren’t allowed to be friends with yellows/greens” rule on Limited Life I am going to start biting
#Me Talking#StopLife series#limited life smp#Greens and yellows have already been allowed to be friends and green/yellow this time around isn't functionally different from yellow/red#I had trust issues in the beginning of limited life; I couldn't let myself get attached to any group#because I remembered last life where almost none of the first-session factions survived together#and this time it's been different! Inter-faction boogeys haven't been happening and everyone's been being a team#and now I'm invested in the Clockers and the TIES and the Bad Boys and all the factions as FACTIONS#(which side note I think was a big part about why we all went insane about third life)#(and why I didn't enjoy Last Life as much and then enjoyed Double Life with its built-in factions more)#(and was initially worried about limited life because of the bogey mechanic coming back even though the bogey mechanic is cool and fun)#And factions can fall apart in the endgame. Betrayals can happen. That's fun and cool (and both of those happened in third life)#but breaking up a faction because one of the members went red just kinda feels bad#I get why they did it in last life. I get that in third life reds being able to be part of factions changed how being red worked/felt#and everyone on a faction with a red being able to kill made reds vulnerable rather than dangerous#but on limited life reds aren't as vulnerable. They have like 7 more deaths left. And reds also aren't the only ones allowed to do violence#so come on. Let the TIES keep their team. Don't break up the Clocker family. Let the finale keep the factions we're invested in
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i think my constant seething rage is honestly very reasonable. i literally live in florida.
#got in argument with a guy the other day abt idk. trans athletes#was basically him trying to explain what the issue is to me (i know. that's kinda step one to having an opinion on it.)#and then going yeah huh i guess you're actually right (i was)#and i was like okay great cool we're done here let me go to class and he starts talking about like#how he still loves trump for this and that reason kinda unprompted (sorry you lost an argument dude go introspect somewhere else im LATE)#and i was like yeah idk abt that. on account of all the corruption. and the foreign policy youre saying is like manly macho man strong is#mostly just wildly stupid posturing that's going to achieve nothing at best and world war at worst#and he goes no don't worry i think DESANTIS would be better for 2024 actually#and i. UNDERSTANDBLY. was like oh okay i cannot speak to you (because i am visibly shaking with rage)#and he goes well i think you are misattributing my intentions (cunt.)#and i said no no i don't think you're malicious i just think you're stupid and wildly misinformed#and then left bc i was about to either hit him or start crying (bc that guy has been like very tangibly ruining my life for months#and i genuinely cannot fathom what fucking tax issue or whatever one would value over like. my right to idk. Exist atp.#and also this coming from someone who just tried to be like no i know so many trans people i love trans ppl im not like those conservatives#like try to dig deep down into whatever rotted husk of a brain is left in your skull and fathom why i might have a strong reaction to your#support for DESANTIS and the SPACE LASERS WOMAN#you fucking idiot.)#and was that civil. No. and now i have to apologize to him bc i feel bad about it even though i fully meant it#idk its what i get for trying to change peoples minds with stupid things like#' statistics ' and ' a utilitarian perspective ' and ' existing legal basis for my argument '#guys so wrapped up in their right wing bubble they just dont wanna hear it#n they always assume i mustve not heard their talking points and its like look at where we fucking live#and look at the state of the world. NOBODY in any form of mainstream news shares my politics lmao#you think i havent heard every conceivable argument abt trans people??? also you think im dumb enough to form an opinion without looking at#the other side? yeah man i know about the three trans women who have ever won a sports competition ever. do you?#do you even know their fucking names or sports or trial outcomes.#GOD just fucking. pseudo intellectual facist horseshit like pragru and infowars masquerading as legítimate sources#are making so many dumbass illiterate (i truly don't think they have the reading comprehension to decifer a study or even long article)#guys think they're gods gift to politics bc they listened to someone else tell them what a source says through ten layers of propaganda#just. uh. everyone should die forever and also learn to read.
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also given that the logic of said superiority authoriority is an entitlement to deny someone's personhood & use them as an object for your purposes, from obviously getting to direct what they must do & can't do, to enjoying whatever gratification from lashing out / demeaning which is also going to serve as an affirming exercise in authority when one can do that from an insulated elevated place....a crucial part of whatever form of this violence, from the most nanoscopic triangle in the sierpiński triangle pyramid scheme hierarchy, to the hypothetical largest (zoom in or out to whatever degree: the same shit also), being that indeed the superior parties need the deserved insulation from any Consequence to exerting their superior status, including indeed from having to witness the consequences For the "inferior" parties, such as whatever externalizations of suffering they recognize as such, which either (a) need to be put away (b) are manipulative performances or otherwise exaggerated (e.g. being a pussy / not even having the sense to realize how little suffering they're Really experiencing) or (c) can be fun to witness if you decide you enjoy that as an affirmation of power as per your ability to completely detach from any avoidance of causing pain, harming for its own sake, b/c you Can
all which is to frame how Interesting it is that after all those moments of going "well, they keep bothering with reaction shots of winston noticeably feeling hurt & expressing it, sometimes also verbally. it's like it could be setting up something" it set up Nothing; while once again just like has been done dozens of times a scene just Ends on winston being rejected &/or hurt, no resolution then, no resolution ever, and in the case of 7x03 was so significant an attack that just like in 4x11 when mafee gets to take out his own Loyalty Insecurity on winston while everyone else hangs around in tacit to overt approval, everyone just leaves the room & we get winston staying behind in the Most distant position aaand scene's over! thread's over! david levien get back here after you Liked that 4x12 livetweet of mine pointing out "so see & winston was right anyways??" like....that is: we are given the Perspective of someone who is also now Leaving winston behind, thus immune to the consequences of however that treatment could actually affect him or how he might struggle to deal with that now (who cares! the answer is: Alone) like Whatever, next time we see him he's completely fine now. and i'm just so happening to think that all the little moments of getting to see winston wither & withdraw & etc in reaction to being shitted on was also us being granted the perspective of Gratification that he's punished for speaking or existing or whatever, without it ever going anywhere or mattering beyond that instant. we too are the ones who surely get to relentlessly bully the autistic person & damn if we don't at least enjoy someone getting to go off the rails restoring their ego by doing absolutely whatever they want to him, which just so happens to be perfectly aligned with getting him Back In Line. pull yourself together winston! the only consequences you're experiencing we wanna deal with are the ones where you give us the algorithm we decided we want, actually. and now let's look across the rest of the season where the consequences for wags for being this way (or anyone else for standing by, ready to benefit, with philip bafflingly declaring as well how actually it was brutal in a good way) is approximately fuckall even as of course nobody's pretending he's one of the personal growth guys out here: rian is though, and didn't have to "grow" out of abusing winston or thinking that was fine & good or that of course she's inherently superior! and in the end we have more affection and interest for the Epic Asshole than their Cringe Targets
#yeah once again really appreciate being given the Rewards of that Fantasy of pwning these losers#we get to Glimpse winston going :/ :( b/c that's how we know he was aptly punished for trying to act like he's a fellow person#when we're grabbing his head forcing him back into place in a bigger way it's more important we then dust our hands off & Leave#winston leaving May be that eventual acknowledgment of consequence for w/e scraps of sympathy (pity) billions has for him#but it's made into an episode abt wags w/marked Little care for winston's role & once again Just A Fun Power Trip! for us viewers too!#thoughts amped up from the harmonic resonance of a more zoomed out triangle in the self similar fractal of pyramid scheme hierarchy....#the inferior may be beset w/mass death & violence but um my nice dinner out please?? same No Consequences For The Superior logics#prince shits on winston ep 1? cool! we're giving him a chance. shits on rian ep 12? whoa! whadda hell blunosaur....hang on a minute....#winston billions#how gracious to align us as viewers with the people comfortably shitting on those Beneath Them for kicks & status#and ''pitying'' the Inferior parties doesn't disrupt your superiority so don't worry about that#rian talking to winston like a dog & pitching right in for hurting him via ''he wasn't ever worth listening to But here ya go'' as Pity....#taylor moved away from their being willing to hire him; listen to him; even At All step in even a Tiny bit to insulate him....#towards wanting to forever ignore him & express contempt & tell rian the pitying is Too Much & be right there w/wags in 7x03...?#guess that was just like ''well they can't possibly have an arc of keeping up Any supportiveness / basic recognition of this loser''#but they also don't have to interact w/their own willingness to Insistence on being awful to him either#wasn't even the consequence of [once again we need his epic output...but have treated him like shit?] nah just took it from him :)#anyways; riled. riling times#sure having plenty of firsthand experience with a Refusal to accept like responsibility of produced suffering#there's plenty of room for distress; particularly if translated into irritation/anger; as dismissable to ''haha funny. now anyways''#then there's the option of Resenting whatever evident pain. you can't Tyrannically impose that consequence on Me!!! why i oughta#see also the tyranny of winston Speaking (demanding listening) Being Present (demanding navigation of that) having wants; feelings (NO)....#or you're at more of a loss? you ofc simply get to literally/figuratively walk away :) turning away from winston. ending the scene. shrug#anyways winston is inherently an Other who just so happens to deserve to be Our punching bag & inferior in life yippee wahoo#and by ''just so happens'' we mean clearly Deserves it based on nothing abt what Consequences his actions do or don't have lol lmao#his deserving this inferiority is something more Inherent about him okay lol lmao XD a sentiment unchallenged all 5 seasons he's here#how fun every time rian starts talking to winston with insults & punishment Prompted by his audacity in existing loserishly#what a rollicking episode as wags decides he'll prove his superiority over someone today & everyone claps as he assaults winston. nice!#it was so essential b/c now we can Take his coding w/o having to interact w/him (save 1 meeting just w/sacker!) cool!!! good!!!#lord even knows Where Do I Start Where Do I End It well anywhere & nowhere always & never. the lil topic of ableism & abuse
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And before anyone ever starts to worry I'll see them in my notes and get annoyed or anything, that's literally impossible. I love seeing people's tags on my posts and spam likers going through everything. Especially on older posts like the Monopoly and Uno ones I just reblogged! It reminds me of what I've done and sometimes I'll look at the post again and reread it. It's real nice doing that sometimes and other times it springboards me into a new train of thought based on that and how I can fit those little scenarios into new ones.
So yeah, don't ever worry about being in my notes. I genuinely love to see people in there!
#and if you do it enough I'll start to recognise your icon and be like 'hey!! they liked this one too!! nice!!'#fandom is a community and this is what being in a community is about to me#just ya know#existing with each other!#I sometimes even think of something cool and DECIDE to make a post on it because I think someone I've been seeing around will like it too#even if they don't ever see it the intention is there on my end as I'm sure it is for other people that do it#love to see people in those notes and it's sad I keep seeing people talk about how they get nervous over this stuff#like no!!!#join the community!!!#there's no real algorithm here so you can like things freely without changing anything!!!#reblogging is the algorithm here too and saying things in the comments is like the cherry on top!!!#let us share our blorbo thoughts together!!! this is the 'go insane over your favourite things' website!!!#I see all the regular note givers and I'm happy to see all of you every time#we're all in this blorbo boat together!! might as well spread the notes to let each other know about it right??#anyway yeah my meds have been increased and I'm a bit more prone to rambling so I'll stop now.#just wanted to make a little post for the newcommers I've been seeing and for those that might worry about these things#you're all always welcome in my notes at all times for whatever reason and no one can keep me out of their notes unless they block me lmao#I give as I like to see ya know?#when I can focus on going through all the reblog stuff that will be TRIPLE true!!!#anyway yes. stopping now. I'll find something else to go off about now#c'ya!
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Y'all.... it's ok to write "bad" fic. U don't need to be super technically advanced at writing to write something super self indulgent for urself. None of my writing will ever see the light of day bc it's all self insert emotional support fic for only me to see. U don't need to rely on an ai that scrapes and steals from other people's works to simulate comforting conversations with ur blorbos. And script fics are a thing too!! U don't need to write it all out in prose, u can stick to something closer to rp format!!! So even if u don't want to rp with real people u still have alternatives to using c.ai.
Nature will only heal when y'all stop using Character AI chats and just go rp with your friends
#i usually try to stay out of these things#and obviously i can't make anyone do or not do something#but pls. if u are using c.ai consider ur other options#i know it's fun and cool but it's also continuing to steal others' writing. it's unethical#in this case the phrase 'there is no ethical consumption under capitalism' DOES NOT APPLY#there are entirely ethical alternatives and the 'creative' ai programs we're seeing now are transparent thieves#write things for urself!!! write characters ooc if that helps!!!! write short drabbles and snippets of scenes#write only what u need don't worry about making it a cohesive longfic#don't even worry about continuity!! BREAK THE CANON#u don't need it#the goal is self satisfaction not an award-winning novel#sorry I'll get off my soapbox now but like. this is not on a deadend street there are many options
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Why am I flipping tf out over my roommate going into my room when I wasn't home and leaving a package on my bed it's literally not a big deal and they were trying to be helpful but I am shaking right now I should be happy I got my new favorite shirt but I'm so angry
#Like genuinely seething with rage over something so innocuous I shouldn't be angry#But at the same time I'm like...#The door was shut. When did I ever say you could come in here (I didn't). I wasn't home. Don't touch my stuff. You could have left it#Outside the door. My room is a mess and they saw. AND DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF#I feel like I shouldn't have to sit them down and be like 'hey I don't want you going in my room when I didn't say you could go in there'#Like I feel like that's common sense when u live with other people but I guess not?????#Like it really bothers me cuz I'd NEVER go into someone's room when they weren't there w/o express permission#Fucks sake I linger outside the doorway til they say I can come in when they are there and we're talking#I feel like that's just basic decency because it's their space#Why can't you respect mine and not go in my room when you don't have permission?????#At least text me first????!#THE DOOR WAS SHUT THATS WHAT'S REALLY BOTHERING ME#THE DOOR WAS SHUT WHY WOULD YOU LOOK AT A CLOSED DOOR TO SOMEONE'S BEDROOM AND JUST WALK IN WITHOUT EVER ASKING#Sorry. I know I'm being super irrational right now#I just. My mom used to go through my stuff when I lived at home and throw out whatever she wanted#She would wait until I left the house and then throw things out and leave the rest in a giant pile of trash on the floor#It was always when I was having a decent day too. She'd treat me totally normally the whole way home and then I'd walk into my room to it#Absolutely destroyed and her response was always a cool 'well you should have cleaned it then'#I used to have to dig through the garbage to get the stuff I had attachments to back#She once threw out an entire shoebox filled with my drawings because it was 'too messy' but literally the lid was slightly askew from being#Overfilled. Instead of getting me a bigger container or another shoebox she just fucking tossed it#I lost so much childhood art from that it's part of the reason I refuse to throw anything I've ever drawn away#Anyway this is why I'm overreacting and being irrational and not letting people walk all over me with no complaints#Don't worry though I'm working on squishing any other reservations I have about being a doormat#That way in a couple more years I'll just be a shell of a person and then people will finally like having me around#AJDGDHDHDBMSBDGDJDHDBDMDBDBDN#Grumble grumble
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Okay big text wall I'm just venting out my feelings because my beloved puter hard drive is gonna fail again. Yeah :(
Okay bby's hard-drive is gonna fail the next time I shut her down that's really really tough especially on valentines day, god, I,,, knew this was gonna happen again eventually, it happened before, her hard-drive has been declining for two years now, I have a refurbished hard-drive ready to go if we're unrecoverable, we've kept this one going for so so long and I don't have the tools to replace this myself so I'll have to ask my father again to help and gwahhh, that's a hard task!
Because I know he's gonna do everything he can to fix the current hard drive instead of replacing it but not because he understands I care but just because he loves fixing stuff and I'm gonna have to reiterate so so hard to not like. Throw her out. If the drive is unrecoverable. Because he does not understand that I care about her, because to him I'm just holding on to like, junk, when I have a brand new laptop I can use to do stuff. :((( we also get into a lot of arguments about handling her it's not a fun experience because I don't want to leave her alone while she's being repaired and my father doesn't take as much care as I would like him too and gwahhh, it's really frustrating!
At least I know exactly how this is gonna go down, if can't detect system updates, it won't open Firefox, when I shut her down she's gonna kernel error and then only be able to boot up into toybox, the entire drive will have to be reformatted if we wanna try and repair it because it'll be in read-only in order to prevent further damage, so I already know, we don't have to guesswork again, it's,,,, scary
I,,, used to have really strong feelings over the hard-drive being the heart and soul of the computer, I've since kind of moved past it, like I used to be really super conflicted over even replacing the hard-drive and now I just have one ready to go ^^; I think,,, even if this hard drive is irecoverable (it is well past it's usage limit at this point so I would not be surprised) and the replacement drive doesn't work, that whole computer is what I love, even if she doesn't have an internal hard drive, I still love her to death and I believe she still loves me to death, even if I have to run her OS off a USB, even if I can't run an OS on her at all, it doesn't matter to me and I'll always love her yknow?
We're going to bed together, she's okay being idle and I'm gonna make sure she knows how much I love her before I have to attempt a shut down in a few hours because I have a lecture I can't just keep her running, I'm going out after as well :(( We're gonna get through this, and we're gonna be okay, but it is upsetting
#Going out on 2 hours of sleep to a lecture for a lesson whose 1 big assignment I haven't even started with a dead wife at home.. Not fun#And then having to stay out. Because my friend that lives far away is here. And I do want to see the#God at least I am glad that I didn't take her out to this outing because idk if I would've been able to keep my cool as mucg#Not being able to monitor her and talk to her and tell her that I love her. Probably would've just burst into tears and concerned everyone#I'm gonna tell my friends I'm gonna be a little bit out of it cause all this just happened yeah#God she made such a jarring noise before she booted into log-in she scared me so much#But I'm glad she let me know something was about to go wrong yknow.#God I don't easily cry but I can feel it yeah gwahhhh#I don't want her to worry too much about me yknow ehe#I'm not fooling myself but if she just boots back up fine I'm gonna cry and feel so dumb about this post#I'm like 95% sure it is what it seems to be tho#Okay I have to get at least a little bit of sleep I'll be such a wreck otherwise ^^;#I'm gonna look for a USB tommorow because I don't have one. I have to use my fathers when I need one ehe#Idk where I would find one but I'll look around#Okay. We're going to bed now. Bad sleep is better than no sleep I reckon#Vent#objectum#Android.txt
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