#and the result of a world filled with boring people where nothing strange complicated or interesting is happening..... is a boring setting

[mytumblogforgames]

Missing expectations by 50% lol. It's almost like making a fourth game in a franchise (and only direct sequel) without leveraging and relying on the franchise material that came before it leaves an audience feeling extraordinarily....meh. Why would I recommend this to someone who knows the world, and the older games, and wants that same experience of building a setting? On the other hand though, why would I recommend to someone new that they get involved in a franchise that has just decided to abandon all the previous material? Aside from the extreme disappointment they'd feel getting back to 4 after playing the others (if they even get the itch from the game itself, which could be a long shot considering it gives you no incentive for curiosity and would be relying on the strength of the setting itself, which is admittedly huge!!! and why the result we got here is so damn disappointing...), we all now know that Nothing Matters. What incentive is there to continue? What will they get next? Another excruciatingly limiting title that parades itself around as a "role playing" game while actually offering only a painfully narrow character with virtually no branching choices, and has little to no reactivity?

If I wanna watch a movie while I play my videogames, I'll play a quantic dreams title, thanks. Rug pulling an RPG is crazy lol. We can TELL when it's a lie, we're literally playing the game. Love to see a "she would not fucking say that" and it's my own player character lmao. And the rated M game is fun little jaunt where we all say "thank you for saying that," never have real interparty conflict (or really, any high stakes at all), can't express ourselves in any way other than Valid and Supportive, spend a not insignificant amount of dialogue ensuring we all know our pirates are good ethical hero folks, don't ever even get to sympathize with the villain because this is a rated M game and it very serious and not at all a Disney movie, and oh, you'll never guess this, but the rated M game is completely sexless -- we just blink at each other in three different convos before we go 😟😳🥹 I love you!!! My hero!! Like it isn't about the sex itself, it's about the willingness to be, idk, gross or uncomfortable etc (and in this case pacing lol). This game feels like it's hiding things preemptively so as to avoid causing "offense" like it's...pearl clutchy to me, in a way, or at least, trying to ensure that pearl clutcher is the most comfortable they can possibly be. And like I'm sorry but idc about them, this isn't about them, this is dragon age lol. Rated M for Misinformation smdh...

[chaozsilhouette]

Turbulent Beginnings

This forms the opening act to Macaque’s story, showing just how different his and Wukong’s early lives were and why he took Wukong’s disappearance so hard.

The idea Macaque was born from the wind was inspired by @animemoonprincess. And yes, I am a shameless fan of Macaque originally having white fur. The angst is just too perfect.

Brace yourselves, this isn’t going to be pretty. I am essentially shoving our boy through an emotional meat grinder.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

On a remote island, a day’s travel from China’s eastern shore, a massive hurricane raged as it had since the beginning of this world. The surrounding storms fed into it as its winds carved stone. No life had dared blossom on its soil out of fear of a painful demise. The merciless storm drank deeply of the waters of the sea, draining all aspects of potential and life before casting it aside. Not even curious spirits were spared.

Various deities had wondered why such a storm existed or why the Jade Emperor allowed such a dangerous presence to continue unchecked. Most believed that since the hurricane was stationary and prove no threat to the established order of the world, it was not important.

One day the hurricane vanished. As though it had never existed. Or rather that it had been transformed into something else.

It was the night of a new moon and with the hurricane gone, the island experienced its first cloudless sky. The only one to witness the momentous occasion was a monkie with pure white fur and six ears. Minding his manners, the nameless monkie bowed to the four winds in greeting.

The newborn proceeded to spend his days searching the island for something. Some clue as to the reason behind his birth. He could hear strange voices and words he didn’t understand yet at the same time could. He knew he wasn’t the only creature alive, so why was he alone?

For food, he walked his way through a cave system towards the sea, where he enjoyed the fish that were drawn in through the whirlpools and the mussels that clung to the sharp rocks. He grew to savor the taste of life, even though there was a part of him that craved something different.

Almost forty years passed before he mustered the courage to leave everything he knew to seek out those voices. He gathered all the driftwood and rope that had drifted onshore over the decades, fashioned it into a makeshift raft, and sailed towards the closest source of voices.

His voyage was actually pretty boring once he cleared the whirlpools.

The only exciting part about it was when that strange fish tried to sink his raft. It was bigger than any fish he’d previously seen with a mouth to match. Didn’t mean it survived past the first blow. Taking a bite Macaque wasn’t sure if he liked this fish. The muscles were tough and the flesh was rough on his tongue. He didn’t particularly like the taste. But there was enough to feed him for a full day.

In the end, he chose to eat a third of the fish’s muscles along with its heart before tossing back into the water.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

Docking on dry land was an experience that would haunt him for years.

At first, he was filled with wonder at the sight of buildings and new creatures riding rafts far bigger than his.

When he stepped onto shore the whispers began.

The creatures, who he later learned were called humans, were pointing out his ears. They acknowledged his obvious intelligence. He heard them grip wooden instruments tightly. It was as if they expected him to do something.

No one made a move against him. No one approached him, but he could tell he wasn’t wanted. Everywhere he turned he saw eyes that cursed his every existence.

He didn’t stay in that village for long. In his mind, satisfying his curiosity wasn’t worth being stared at as though he was the source of all evil.

Demon.

That is what they called him. Was that what he was?

He didn’t know, but he didn’t like it.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

He aimlessly wandered the countryside for far too long.

The first act of kindness he received was from a couple who could not have children of their own. He stumbled upon them by accident, but instead of the normal fearful expressions he’d come to expect they greeted him with genuine smiles and an offer to join them for dinner.

They took him in and treated him like family. He became the son they always wanted. They taught him how to properly speak and how to walk comfortably on two limbs. They blessed him with a name.

They were kind and nurturing. In another world, they may have been called bodhisattvas. But sadly, due to them being ordinary mortals, his time with them only lasted four decades.

He buried them with love but grew resentful of his weak emotions.

He learned what it was like to have someone welcome him home after a long day. He learned to savor the taste of a mother’s home-cooked meal. He enjoyed having a father figure who was willing to teach him old military tactics. He experienced friendly competitions to see who could paint the most accurate portrait of a flower they saw earlier that day. It was everything he never knew he craved and then it was gone. Leaving him with an empty home and a broken heart.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

Nearly fifty years later he joined a band of traveling performers.

Their natural oddities allowed them to see who he really was and welcome him into their party. With their compassion, he was granted the opportunity to heal. He learned that despite the group’s large size, very few of them had any direct blood relations. What made them special was how they created their own family and turned what many called strange into something beautiful. Out of respect, he delved into the world of entertainment, found he had a natural talent for it.

When he took the stage people assumed he was in costume, but that didn’t matter. The applause of the audience was a gift he cherished. The sheer passion this family expressed through every second in life warmed his heart beyond words. They were just what he needed to bring him out of his depression.

Alas, it was not meant to stay.

One night their camp was ambushed by a group of demons. They were nothing special, hardly worth mentioning. But for him, back then, it was a fight he never imagined. He could easily handle human bandits, so could his family, but never had he traded blows with a small army of his fellow demons. With the rising of the sun, Macaque stared at the cruelly bright sky covered in blood. All around him bodies lay scattered, life essence soaking into the ground. Despite being tasked with fighting off nearly five dozen demonic opponents he managed to survive with barely a scratch, but he was alone. Again.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

He tried to change things by sticking to his fellow demons. At least they lived longer.

Somehow that ended up with him becoming the apprentice to a demon healer for almost a century. She was a cold-hearted bitch with a heart of gold. Meticulous in her work, masterful in deduction, and short-tempered with the foolish. She gave everything to her practice and expected the same from him. It was bitter work, but he found it fulfilling. The knowledge that he now possessed the ability to restore others to peak condition settled some unknown part of his soul.

Of course, they would have visitors who wished to take advantage of her skills or steal the medicine. Between the two of them, they protected their clinic, but they weren’t always together. While she may try to hide it, she wasn’t the strongest demon out there. Apparently, the entire reason she got into medicine was to uncover why she was so weak. Centuries of research turned up nothing, but it did make her incredibly skilled at using poisons with her knives to compensate.

One day after he returned from gathering ingredients, he pulled back the door to find the shop in disarray, five unknown bodies slowly dying of extensive blood poisoning, and his master bleeding out from her severed arms. She always said she had no intention of entering Naraka alone.

Guess she kept her word.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

The cycle repeated itself over centuries. He would experience a brief window of happiness only for it to be savagely stolen from him, leaving him to mourn and curse his weak heart.

The small glimmers of kindness humanity showed him only made him curse their race even harder when he couldn’t walk into a village without being harassed. The humans who had proven stronger were sadly a rare breed. He was rare to encounter one a century and often they perished at the hands of their kind rather than by demons.

There were times when the ignorance had gotten so bad he’d taken to traveling with a constant glamour, disguising himself as an average human. Whenever he was in the presence of other demons, he allowed his true form to manifest, however, he made it look like he only had a single pair of ears. Standing out was the easiest way to wind up in a complicated situation he had no interest in trying to defuse.

That’s not to say his time was wasted.

Quite the contrary, he had learned much during his travels. He could hardly be compared to the happy young monkie, who was ignorant of the dangers and hardships this world held. In a sad attempt to fill the void, Macaque sought out wisdom and strength. He located masters of both the mystic and martial arts. He may have had to lie about his age, he was becoming quite the accomplished liar, but the results were more than worth it. With every stop, he found himself growing more certain of his strength and his identity.

Eventually, he discovered a strange monastery hidden in a cave in the face of a mountain.

He had never seen anything like it during his travels. But what truly drew his attention was the feeling the temple exuded, every stone exuded a strange aurora. Something powerful dwelled within, powerful yet there was an undeniably human quality to it all.

Hiding beneath his usual glamor, Macaque approached the temple with the desire to discover exactly what was being taught. Before he knew what was happening, he was speaking to the immortal sage who was running the joint. Master Subhuti welcomed him to his home and offered some tea. The disguised monkie was bombarded by dozens of questions, all of which he attempted to answer as though he was a normal human.

The master welcomed him as his newest disciple and showed him his new home. Later he learned the master could see through his disguise and sensed his potential. Apparently, the old immortal believed that the monkie would do well to learn his disciplines and he was fascinated by the monkie’s natural talent.Said something about how with proper guidance only the Buddha would be able to peer past his façade.

The monkie even received a new name to celebrate his rebirth. From that day forward he was Liu’Er Mihou, or the Six-Eared Macaque. He liked it. While he cherished the name his first family gifted him, he felt this was a good sign. A tribute to show that he was a changed monkie.

Regardless, he refused to drop his glamor. He had seen too many demons be cast out and attacked for getting sloppy. The other students were not thrilled about the newcomer showing them up and he wasn’t willing to give them a true reason to despise him. He learned quickly, more so than any other human disciple, but that put him at odds with those who were still struggling after years of training.

Macaque distanced himself from the others. They weren’t that interesting anyway. He didn’t care that they talked about him behind his back or were fully aware he could hear them. He couldn’t risk getting close so soon. He was determined to break the cycle. He didn’t care about immortality. He didn’t care about obtaining power. All he wanted was to end the pain. So far things had been working out in his favor.

Then heshowed up…

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

That trice damned monkie with peach-colored fur and markings like a golden mask. He was so naïve about the world. He treated everything as though it was some exciting game. His upbeat energy made Macaque sick. Some twisted part of him wanted to snap his neck just to end it, but a small part was fascinated by it. The other monkie reminded him of a time he had almost forgotten.

The Monkey King, or Sun Wukong, didn’t bother hiding his true appearance. Truthfully, Macaque wasn’t sure he knew how or that he should. He didn’t seem to notice how other students would keep their distance or how they kept their conversations as brief as possible without crossing the threshold into being considered rude.

He was so earnest and happy, it was painful. The new monkie pestered everyone about everything, it was like dealing with a newborn, but it seemed Macaque was his favorite to bother. The worst part was how he stared at Macaque as though he could peer past his glamour. Although Macaque wasn’t sure if that was truly possible. The Master could, but he dedicated centuries to refine his skills. Wait. How old was this annoyance? Perhaps he could smell he wasn’t like the other disciples.

Either way, he knew it was just a matter of time until the truth got out. He just didn’t expect it to be when he was changing.

Each student was offered a meager room for privacy. They were all the same size and offered little to no space for any customization, but the walls were enchanted to cut out sound whenever the doors were closed.

Behind those flimsy walls was the only time Macaque allowed his glamor to drop. While he valued being cautious, even he couldn’t keep up the glamour indefinitely, much less when he was asleep.

It was in that small space of safety that he discovered he wasn’t alone.

He had just allowed himself to relax when a smiling face covered in peach fuzz was shoved into his own.

“I knew it! You’re like me.” Sun Wukong happily exclaimed, stars practically dancing in his eyes.

“Shut up.” Macaque clamped his hand over the other’s mouth. Checking to ensure no one else was present and the door was shut, he faced the intruder. “Have you told anyone?” He hissed, while berating himself for failing to check the ceiling. You always look up when scanning a room, he knew that.

“Nope. Why are you hiding? You’re beautiful.” The cheerful demon spoke as though they were old friends. His golden eyes took in every hair of his fellow monkie’s true appearance.

“I’m a demon. And there is nothing beautiful about me.” Macaque growled.

“Yes, there is.” Wukong insisted. “You didn’t answer my question. Why are you hiding? The Master let me in, I wager he knows about you, so why?”

Sighing, Macaque massaged the bridge of his nose. “I have been hurt enough times to know keeping a low profile is optimal in survival. It is better to keep one’s head down than risk getting called out.” From observation, he knew the newer student wouldn’t leave until he received answers, so the best option was to just give him what he wanted and pray he knew enough to leave.

“That’s no fun.” Wukong stuck his tongue out in distaste. “You shouldn’t have to hide who you are. We were born this way.” He jumped high into the air only to catch himself on his tail with a cheeky grin. “So, they’ll just have to deal with it.”

“Cute speech. But my answer is no. Now leave.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll fix that attitude right up.” Thankfully Wukong left, but not before sending a smile laced with mischief his way. “See you tomorrow.”

Macaque prayed to every deity that would be the end of it. But even he knew it was a futile attempt.

“Do you have a tribe?” Wukong asked, hanging by his tail from Macaque’s favorite tree.

A startled Macaque blinked at the random question. “A what?”

“A tribe. A family. A place to call home?” Wukong asked smoothly even if he wasn’t familiar with the term family until recently he knew it was important.

“Not anymore.” Glaring Macaque returned his focus to his meal.

“Aw.” Wukong knew that look. He had seen plenty of monkeys wear that arura after watching other tribe members die. “Then you should come with me!”

“What?”

“Yeah. You can join my tribe. There are dozens of us back home. Plenty of food and water, you’ll constantly be surrounded by others like us.”

“Other demons?”

“No.” Wukong smiled as though he told a funny joke. “Other monkeys.”

“There is no reason for me to join you.” Macaque stated, wishing he could finish his lunch in peace.

But Wukong wasn’t letting him go that easily. “And there’s no reason for you to refuse.” He stated, ignoring any and all social cues or common sense for respecting personal space.

It went on like that for years. Every day Macaque would awake to find gold eyes staring at him, waiting for his answer to change. Breaks were spent dodging the hyperactive monkie as he tried to eat alone. Training sessions soon found him sparring with the same partner.

The monkie was stubborn no doubt and Macaque feared his actions were slowly breaking down his walls. The pale furred monkie missed having a connection. He adored being able to talk to others, but whenever he opened up he only got hurt.

But maybe, maybe this time could be different…

Wukong was training to obtain immortality. He had already proven to be stronger and more clever than anyone he’d known. The simian showed that he wanted to know him better. He constantly tried to touch his fur, something he called grooming, which felt pretty nice.

Maybe…maybe this time he could truly have a home.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

A streak of light accompanied by a sharp whistle pierced the night sky. For a brief moment, it vanished before exploding in a beautiful display of color and light.

On the monastery’s rooftop, Wukong backflipped in joy at the sight, his golden eyes wide. “Happy New Year!” The monkie cried. In the village below, he could make out dozens of voices echoing the greeting.

It didn’t matter how many times he saw them, fireworks were a sight he always adored. “This has got to be mankind’s greatest invention!” The flowers of fire were simply too beautiful. So unique. Nothing on Flower Fruit Mountain compared to such beauty, it made him thankful he decided to leave.

From the corner of his eye, Wukong noticed that his companion was clutched his ears wincing with every detonation. “You okay, bud?”

“I’m fine. Just loud.” Macaque said. He was truly questioning his sanity by joining Wukong on the roof. Normally he barricaded himself in his room, but his friend was so thrilled about sharing their first New Year together he couldn’t say no.

“Oh.” Somehow the new set of fireworks didn’t look that attractive. “We can go inside if you want.” They were beautiful, but nothing was worth feeling helpless as his friend curled up in pain.

“I’ll be fine. I’m adjusting to the volume. No different than punches that break the sound barrier, right?” Macaque tried flashing a confident grin to varying success.

Wukong suspected that Macaque was lying, but learned enough to know further prying would just cause the other monkie to simply shut out the world. “I’m glad you’re coming with me.”

“You made a persuasive argument.” Anyone who could harass him for nearly five years straight proved their determination.

Wukong playfully stuck his tongue out. “Hehe…Seriously though, I’m happy you chose to be part of my tribe. No one should be alone.”

“Then why have I been for so long.”

“I doubt even Master knows. But you won’t be able to say that anymore.” Wukong wrapped his arms around his best friend. Pulling him close, Wukong faced the fireworks, unconsciously grooming Macaque as he savored every pop of color.

Beneath those gentle digits, Macaque steadied himself against the soothing heartbeat of the one he slowly learned to trust. As the display continued, the pale monkie learned to appreciate the human’s creations. Turns out they weren’t so bad so long as you have the right company.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

“I’m sorry. You’re what?!” Macaque’s response was perfectly justified. There was no way he just heard what he thought he heard.

Wukong flashed a blinding grin. “I’m heading to the Celestial realm. I’ve been given a position in Celestial Bureaucracy.” Not seeing any problems whatsoever.

“Why?” Just why? From everything he heard about those stuck-up deities, they would never hand over a position to anyone without requiring the completion of an impossible task, much less to a demon. Least of all a demon who has done nothing but terrorize others and unleash chaos whenever he went.

“Don’t know. But I got to go right now.” Wukong shrugged as he finished packing. The Gold Star of Venus was waiting just outside the waterfall.

“But what about Flower Fruit Mountain? What about your subjects? What am I supposed to do? How long are you going to be gone?” Macaque fired off a rapid stream of questions. Panic was beginning to take hold.

Wukong, however, was as calm and confident as ever. “Stop worrying so much. Look I’ll be back as soon as I can. Until then you’re in charge.” He finished as though it was obvious.

“Me!” A white tail nearly burst into twice its normal size in shock. “But I have no idea how to run a Court!”

“Neither do I. Not in the traditional sense at least. Look just keep an eye on things. Protect the monkeys from hunters and malicious demons. Sometimes one of the allied demon kings will ask for some help. It’s nothing you haven’t helped me with before. I’ll be back before you know it. I’m sure you’ll be able to handle things until I get back.”

Seeing his companion and good friend growing even more lost, Wukong closed the distance and took his face in both hands. “This is a good thing. If I can make this work, none of us will ever have to worry about being hunted or not having enough food ever again.”

In a snap, Macaque grabbed the king’s arms. “What if I don’t care about any of that? What if I just want you to stay?”

For the first time in their conversation, Wukong’s cocky attitude vanished replaced with a loving smile. Gently prying Macaque’s claws off his shirt, Wukong placed his cheek on a palm as he kissed the knuckles of another. “I can’t. This is too good an opportunity to pass up. This isn’t goodbye. I’ll keep in touch. The time will fly. We’ll make this work. Trust me.”

“Alright, Wukong. I trust you.” Macaque said, ignoring every fiber of his being that screamed this would end poorly.

“If things go wrong, remember I’m just a telepathic call away.” Summoning his cloud, Wukong back flipped onto it with his bag. “Monkey King, out!”

One sonic boom later and he was gone, along with a good chunk of the cave walls.

“Hpmh. That’s my idiot.”

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

How did this happen? How did this happen?!

One moment they were fighting for their lives against the army of the Celestial Realm and the next Macaque bore witness to Wukong being carted away in a diamond snare.

Now as he stared at the charred remains of what once was a growing village of monkeys, Macaque felt something within him change.

For almost two months he had burned in celestial fires. The sounds of the dead and dying rang out, making his namesake almost bleed. He choked on the ashes of the mortal monkeys. The air had a strangely sweet and bitter taste to it.

Macaque lost count of all the times he charged back into the fires to save as many heartbeats as he could. He wasn’t sure but he suspected he blacked out more than once. With every heartbeat that stilled before he could reach them, a part of him followed them into Yama’s realm.

Finally, the fires had died down. They didn’t have anything left to burn.

All around him he saw the pitiful leftovers of what was once a thriving community. He had treated the survivors the best he could, but he lost his medical equipment in the blaze. The only ones he didn’t have to worry about were the monkeys Wukong made immortal, but he did what he could to ease the pain.

But still, he wondered why…why were they staring at him as though they were confused?

Maybe he was overthinking everything. He just worked through 49 days without any sleep. Everything was stable for now. The best course of action was to wash off the ash and get some much-deserved rest.

There was nothing the Celestial Realm could do to Wukong that he couldn’t handle. Besides Macaque didn’t even know how to get there even if he was at full strength. Wukong couldn’t die so it was only a matter of time before someone tripped up allowing him to return home.

He just had to be patient.

Stepping into the clear river, Macaque’s jaw almost dropped as the water around him immediately turned gray. He didn’t realize he was that filthy.

He started scrubbing himself, ducking under the water to ensure he didn’t miss a spot. He had to move a few times due to the sheer amount of shoot and ash that clung to him. The entire cleaning process took a full hour before the water ran clear.

Stepping out, Macaque felt more refreshed than he ever remembered. Shaking to remove as much access water as possible, all the towels were soot so he had to make do, he paused by the waterside to see how much fur he lost. But what he saw met none of his expectations.

Instead of fur that invoked images of the moon, he was cloaked in the color of the darkest ink.

“What happened to me?”

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

Five hundred years.

Five hundred years he searched, for any trace of the legendary Five-Fingered Moutain Buddha used to trap Sun Wukong only to find nothing. Macaque scoured far and wide. Neither the winds nor the shadows could lead him towards his friend.

He picked fights with countless demons who claimed to witness the great Monkey King brought low. It barely took two punches before they broke down crying how it had been nothing but a lie, how they only repeated rumors.

He bargained for any information he could find, but all accounts claimed the mountain didn’t exist. Many refused to answer him on principle of not interfering with the Celestial Realm’s issues. Their last mistake. Others took Wukoong’s punishment as a sign to amass as much power as possible out of fear that they would be targeted next.

Macaque had witnessed the formation of more alliances and territory grabs in the past century than had been recorded in the last thousand years. Demons were becoming more power-hungry and suspicious, which meant even more trouble for the humans. Things were becoming so chaotic, Macaque had to wonder if it was planned.

But he couldn’t dwell on that.

He hadn’t visited Flower Fruit Moutain in years. His clones kept guard, but slowly he was losing the drive to keep replenishing them. The only reason he called that mountain home was because of Wukong. It wasn’t home without him.

But he had to keep looking. Had to keep trying. He would find his friend.

Somehow.

§~~~~§~~~~§~~~~§

He tricked himself into thinking this would be different. That he would no longer be alone. That finally he had found a family he could keep.

He was an idiot!

The truth was he was no different than anyone else. The world was Sun Wukong’s toy chest and Macaque was merely a shiny new trinket to bat around until he grew bored. Seeing him with that group, knowing that he chose them over their past, was too much.

He was sick of being left behind. He had been left alone so many times. What made him think he couldn’t be replaced?

He could have attacked, ripped their precious monk to pieces, he could have...should have...but he was tired.

Returning to Flower Fruit Mountain was a chore, but one he swore he would never complete again. The monkeys questioned his return, asking where their king was and if he’d return soon. Macaque ignored them all. He simply walked to the part of the manor he and Wukong had shared for years, where he had been waiting for his return.

Staring at all the knickknacks and souvenirs they had collected from their adventures, Macaque made up his mind. Grabbing a large sturdy bag, he swiftly packed his essentials. In another, he packed non-perishable goods and water containers.

Stepping out, a flash of something peach-colored caught his eye. Spinning around, hope burning a hole in his chest but his dreams once more were proved false. It was just the special peach tree Wukong had planted from the leftover pit he had saved from his time in the Celestial Realm. Apparently, it had reached maturity and was proudly bearing the first fruit Macaque had seen despite having been planted nearly half a millennia ago.

Macaque wasn’t sure why it was so special, Wukong just winked and said it was a surprise for when they could share a fresh one. Feeling something wet on his arm, Macaque looked down to see his hand stretched towards the tree and the memories he held. Feeling his cheeks, he realized he was crying, which was strange as he didn’t think he had any tears left.

Spurred by longing and spite, Macaque plucked six peaches from the tree and stuffed them into his bag. It wasn’t like Wukong was going to miss them. And he needed the food.

[elliepassmore]

The Black Coast review

4/5 stars Recommended for people who like: high fantasy, multiple POVs, dragons, intricate plots I received a copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review TW: some homophobia I really enjoyed the world of Black Coast and the clear world-building effort that had been put into it. Each of the different places and peoples/cultures were unique without being unrealistic. The religions and histories were well thought out, and even the language(s) had their own backgrounds. Some of the cultural practices seem strange, and indeed they do cause tension between the Tjakorshi and Naridans, and I found the manner of identification (referring to oneself as 'your son,' this warrior,' etc.) to be a bit unwieldy at first, I got used to it and barely noticed it the more the book went on. Each part of the book is prefaced by a short 'scholarly' passage describing some aspect of the world's languages, cultures, or creatures. While I'm sure these are meant to be helpful and give background/foreshadowing info, the only one I actually read all the way through was the very first one, which described the meanings of the six gender pronouns used by one of the book's languages. That one actually was helpful, since two of the POVs utilize that language and it's helpful for remembering how people are referring to one another. I really liked the two main plots in the book: one of the Tjakorshi settling in Blackcreek and the other of the Naridan royal family attempting to assassinate the Splinter family. I generally liked following the characters of each plot and learning about the people, places, and politics, however I think each plot would've been better served getting its own book. While there are obvious implications for how the Splinter assassination can impact the Tjakorshi-Naridan settlement, there are less clear implications for the reverse. Further, the two plots and sets of characters do not actually come together in this book and I think they could've been served better each having their own book, then coming together in a later one (as I assume will happen), especially since the POVs got somewhat unwieldy. In terms of the POVs, there's about four major ones, with another handful of minor ones bringing the total up to, I think, 7 POVs. Now, four main POVs isn't bad and I've read a number of books with this number of narrating characters. The problem arises when we begin adding the others into the mix and giving them a handful of chapters here and there, and then it gets very complicated keeping track of who's who and where. I can understand adding some additional POVs for moments that will have a later impact but for which none of the main characters are present, though I think I'd prefer if it was 3rd limited rather than 1st, but that was not the case here. We started out with our main four...then we add Rikkut, then Evram, then Zhaana, and while these characters have important roles to play I question whether those roles, perhaps with the exception of Rikkut, really required their own chapters. Evram and Zhanna probably could've been given one or two chapters to fill in some gaps, but I didn't need to know past the bare details of what Evram was up to or that Zhanna was bored in the palace (especially since it didn't tell us anything new about her character or relationships). So, due to the confusion I had for the first 30% of the book due to POVs, I had to knock down the score slightly. In terms of characters, there's a pretty hefty cast, but Brooks does a good job giving each their own personalities and feels, so it didn't really ever feel like I was reading a Daimon chapter when I was reading Tila or Saana, or like Jeya had the same voice as the others. The side characters were also distinguished well, though I'm really only going to hit on these main four characters since, again, the cast is pretty large. Tila is an interesting character to read. She's the first POV we're exposed to in the book and, at first, I really did not like her. However, as the book went on and she went on her own plot adventure I began to like her more. Tila is part of Plot B, which centers around the Naridan royalty (aka Tila and her brother, Natan) deciding to assassinate the Splinter family, who claimed to have more of a right to the throne and as a result needed to flee to another country. She's not really a good person but she's certainly good at what she does and has decent reasoning behind why she does what she does (not that I agree, but I can certainly see how she got to where she did). It's obvious she cares for her brother, whom I would've liked to see more of, and is loyal to her family and country. Something I thought Brooks did cleverly was to switch around the 'masked vigilante' character by having the princess be the one who was masked the the vigilante wall around bare faced. Tila definitely walks a tricky line and I'm curious to see how that will play out for her. Daimon is, I think, the next narrator and is less likeable. He's fine in his first chapter, but later on he does and says stuff that makes me feel apathetic toward him...but at the same time I didn't want him to die, so maybe I don't totally dislike him, but still. He certainly has a lot of weight on his shoulders trying to make the Tjakorshi-Naridan melding work, which is Plot A, but I also feel like if he maybe didn't still have the mindset that they were no-nothing savages that it might go a bit better, especially at first. I understand that he can't change everyone's minds, but I do think Daimon has a responsibility to correct people when they say in front of him, and especially in front of any Tjakorshi, that the Tjakorshi are uncivilized or savages. Like, it's not that hard and would go a long way toward reinforcing the idea that that kind of behavior is unacceptable. I think one of my problems with him is that he's so stuffy for most of the book. Anyway, he definitely has his flaws but there are times when I do like him and enjoy reading his POV, especially when he's around his brother. Saana is the Tjakorshi chief who brought her people across the ocean to flee from The Golden. She's already done a lot of hard work by the time the book opens and hopes everything will work out but also isn't totally confident it will. I liked Saana better than Daimon and I think she might be one of my favorite characters in the book. She lets things roll off her fairly easy and is pretty determined to make things work. Saana also, admittedly, has some negative thoughts and words about how the Naridans live, but I also feel like she's more willing to give, perhaps because she knows they don't have any other option other than to play nice. One thing I really didn't like about her was the homophobia, which I have many thoughts about and will get into below. Overall I like most of Saana's character and empathize with the struggles she faces trying to get everyone to work together when the Naridans and Tjakorshi of the town end up at odds with one another again and again, but I'm not a fan of the homophobia aspect, even if she has vowed to change that. Jeya is the last main narrator and is my other favorite character in the book. She is a thief living in Adaba and happens to steal from (and is promptly caught) a very rich person whose identity is kept 'secret' for most of the book but whose identity is also, at the same time, totally obvious. Anyway, she has an interesting way of looking at the world and I enjoyed reading through her eyes. I almost feel like she's a younger character, but her mysterious friend is referenced as an adult by someone else and she has a younger friend herself, so I assume she's at least majority age, if not older. I could actually probably stand to read a whole book about Jeya's adventures, screw the other plotlines, and hope things turn out well for her considering the mess she's inadvertently walked into. And super quick, since it is relevant, Rikkut works for The Golden, a draug that is attempting to do...something...with the world. I'm not quite sure what. He's terrifying enough that he slaughters towns and sent Saana and her people running across the ocean, but he also claims he's trying to save people. Right. I'm not entirely sure what he's actually doing, but I doubt it's good. Rikkut is an unpleasant character. Definitely my least favorite narrator, and I kept hoping throughout the book that he'd die. But he does make a good character for seeing what the villains are up to. Now, back to the homophobia. Narida is LGB friendly (idk about T it doesn't really come up) and Tjakorsha is not. Several characters explain it as a need for survival (one that oh-so-coincidentally got caught up in their god), but that doesn't make it any better and there's a couple of scenes where that really comes to a head. I especially don't like how it comes up the first time: a gay man gets drunk and kisses another man without consent. Like, this couldn't've come up literally any other way?! Two guys taking care of their kid or the scene later in the book, perhaps? The trope of the predatory gay plays so heavily into homophobic narratives and into the history of LGB representation that it feels very icky here, particularly since it was the first encounter with an openly gay character in the book. So, while the homophobia is addressed (Daimon actually handles this fantastically and is willing to go to bat for LGB Naridans and Tjakorshi) and there's is a proposed attempt to start overcoming it, I did not like it and knocked the score down. Overall I enjoyed the book, though Plot A had somewhat of a deus ex machina ending, in my opinion. The Narida-Tjakorsha settlement is the heftier plot in this book and as such we get to know more characters from that plot than from Plot B. I liked Tavi, Zhanna, and Darel, who all come from Plot A, but really only liked Galem and Natan as side characters from Plot B.

[fabianavolpato-blog]

The Eye Collector

The clock on the bloodstained wall marks exactly two o’clock in the morning, the cold breeze coming in through the broken window freezes my private operating room. The rusty surgical instruments, the aluminum stretcher and the flashing lights on the moldy ceiling complement a dark and grotesque environment, reminiscing nostalgically my days as a coroner at the morgue in São Paulo.

Seeing the bodies exposed at work exalted my creative mind. The left side of my brain has always been highlighted over the right side, I confess that it’s not easy to feed the aggressive, impulsive and fearless beast that lives inside me. The unbridled psychopathy that I carry like a two-ton weight, has grown over the past few years, due to the lack of capacity and professionalism of my late psychiatrist Dr. Eduardo Monister.

The monster that I am today is the result of a reflection of a life filled with hate, evil and abandonment, but that don’t dissolve the guilt that I don’t have, but I know that I would have it if I felt something, a single feeling.

Within the world that I created, I only seek to demonstrate my potential. It’s not a mere whim, I subtract from the rotten streets of Campinas the sum of the society, that harm the fate of good people. Being a police investigator in my spare time, makes it easier to search for future victims, whom I choose by hand.

Right now, as I introduce myself to you, I scalp a 40-year-old man. Fat, bald and filled with stretch marks, his legs, arms, torso and limbs are separated one by one on the table orderly, satisfying my desire for now. In less than a minute, I will shred your remains so there are no clues or suspicions, being cautious never hurts.

This mediocre rapist will never use his dick again. Ending the ritual as usual, I will keep one of his cornea in my solid wooden box. Blessed souvenir addiction.

The art of annihilating with the revenge flame made me the most feared serial killer in the country. I have several names spread on social media, like crazy, vigilante, abominable, devil, tramp, but by the local news and criminal investigations in my PD, I am titled as case 346 “The Eye Collector”. The status of the investigation remains open.

— Júlio Fonseca, you bastard! What can I do for you?

— Rafael, my friend. How are you? I want to ask you a huge favor, and you’re the best.

— Don’t come here and drool my egg! Tell me right now, I’m leaving for lunch.

– I want to analyze some files from last week’s convicts. I need to include the final reports and send it to Isadora, so she can file it. – Asked Júlio with a smile on his face.

— Didn’t you know? She was stabbed and is in the hospital. Her jealous husband sent a warning, just in case she proceeds with the divorce.

— Really? Robson Azevedo? From the new year party?

— Yes, that bastard! He paid the bail laughing behind our backs and went out using the front door.

— Mother#@*$%&! I hope justice can be done in a way or another. About the paperwork, I hand over to the intern. Thank you for letting me know.

It’s a pity that woman still suffer from domestic violence, we are in the 21st century and not in the stone age. There are so many laws to protect them and none of them has any effect. I get angry when I witness such coward attitude without punishment. The habeas corpus granted by the crap judge last week, will be his death sentence. This early morning, I will give him an unpleasant gift. Did I mention that I’m bored? Another “ham” about to visit my magic cocoon, where you enter alive and leaves ground. I’m getting more and more hilarious.

I’m following him in my blue Beetle at midnight on 08/08/2019. A good date to rip off the devil’s carcass. I watch his steps at least a thousand miles away. There’s nothing unusual, the idiot enters at the market to buy beer and bread, he didn’t use his card. As I track his calls from the past few days, I notice a quick change of route. The good looking, tall and bad tasting blond walks slowly. He wears a black sweatshirt, dark jeans and white sneakers, but what I’m questioning in an uninterrupted way is the strange acquisition at Manoel’s pharmacy. Why tampons?

I keep my modern 1945 vehicle in a clandestine parking lot, I don’t want anyone to know about my favorite hobby. I walk between posts and isolated streets to avoid further complications. The athlete continues to walk to his mansion in the Cambuí neighborhood.

I’m sweating like a pig, the dryness I feel in my mouth transforms my mood. I swear, I’m going to kill this bastard eagerly.

I enter through the open window of the room, jumping over the wall gave me a rip in my leg, I focus my attention on the private security guards, at least eight of them are setting am ambush. The enhance protection sounds ominous to a simple dentist. His family is rich, but he doesn’t suffer constant threats. What the fuck is happening here? What this bastard is hiding?

I continue to crawl between the rooms, passing by the entrance hall, living room, bathroom, theater, game room, gym, library, sauna, kitchen, maid’s room. Holy Mother of God! I’m in a resort.

I stay down, waiting for a signal to attack. It will not be easy to take him with the gorillas on the loose. I need a different, clean and safe strategy. I feel his vulgar presence coming on my way. My fingers firmly grasp a sharp knife that I stole from the barbecue kit. Weird, right? Want to know something? I’m out of ideas. I’m going to activate the “who cares” mode and put this metal beauty in this lamb’s jugular. In three, two, one…

— Help! Robson get me out of here! Let me go…I won’t tell anyone about what happened. I can’t take it anymore. – Screams of pain and despair echoed from Veronica, Robson new victim.

— Shut up, Veronica! You’re going to die like the others and don’t miss me, I’m coming back to put a bullet in your head. I will get rid of you as soon as possible. Stop crying! – The masochistic dentist laughed as he walked into the kitchen. What he didn’t count on was the illustrious presence of our dear Júlio.

— Hello asshole! Let’s play?

— Let me go!

The pool of blood that formed like a red river soothed my inert heart. Symbolic, but real, my momentary pleasure merged with the feeling of accomplishment. The deceased dying on the floor, sharpened the macabre side that was numb inside me. I was savoring every second of his pain. Do you know why? Because I’m a freak!

Since childhood, I have been fascinated by human expression. Have you notice it? The frown on the forehead signaling emotions, the elastic cheeks against the mouth. The nose with its varied shapes is essential for our survival. Curly ears bringing the sound of the universe. The mouth full with teeth, savoring foods from the most diverse cultures. And, of course, my weak point is the eyes, two dazzling beings that reveal the naked truth. Now you know the reason for my private collection. By the way, I don’t sell it. And in my pocket, I have a brand new one.

Anyway, while I was talking to you, reflecting about my peculiar taste, I took the opportunity to shoot the accomplices. Clear shoots in the brain to avoiding wasting time. I hooded my ugly face and saved the kidnapped maiden. Who knew I would discover an organ trafficking lair? This palace of horror really surprised me.

So, that’s it guys, I’m going back to my shack. I need my bed and black coffee and tomorrow morning, eating a delicious bread with cheese, I’m going to laugh in a sarcastic way with the urgent news reporting a new attack from the Eye Collector.

— Good evening, Isadora. How are you?

— Olá, Rafael. Much better now, thanks. Did you heard about my ex?

— Yes. Is everything okay? How did you react?

— I am relieved. Here’s the report you asked for from the crime scene. It contains the fingerprints of those involved and the videos from the hidden cameras.

— Who saw the evidences?

— No one. It is confidential and due to your recent promotion, only you have access. Do you need anything else?

— Yes, please, can you give me Júlio’s number? And you can go, it’s getting dark and I don’t want you in danger. See you on Monday, bye.

— Here it is, bye. See ya!

************

— Hello, Júlio? Can you speak?

— Yes, I heard that you received a salary increase.

— Oops! An anonymous call revealed a hot scheme. Do you wanna hang out?

— Is the Greek gift in hand?

— That’s right! Let’s go drink? And burn some papers?

— For sure. I meet you in an hour.

Autor: Fabiana Volpato

[boaws]

BOAWS Top Records of 2016

Welp, I finally got around to doing something on here and finishing up my top 20 records of the year list. Wooooo. Anyway, activity around here has been slim, I know that, but unfortunately work and all that crap has gotten in the way a little more than I'd like. Hopefully the coming year will see a bit more reviews and maybe even a podcast or two if time allows. Who knows. But for now, BOAWS is still going and will not go anywhere. Without further hesitation, here is my top 20 recordsof the year. Have a good one. 20 – Spit-Take – Frog Rock (Ice Age) Real quick and to the point indie-rock jams from this Connecticut group. Caught my attention with their first full-length not all that long ago and then followed it up nicely with this second, and even better, helping of songs. Definitely a nod or two to the plentiful 90's indie-rock heritage of bands that focused more on the quirkier aspects of the sound like maybe Archers of Loaf or Sebadoh, thanks to instances of unpredictably that waver between some emotionally charged slower numbers to jolting aggressive bursts that burn brightly for roughly a minute or so and then leave before you know it. Interesting album in approach and songwriting, but isn't short of on the solid tunes. Spit-Take – Awful Long (stream) BUY IT! 19 – Youth Code – Commitment to Complications (Dais) I can see why people wouldn't particularly like this, especially those that would consider themselves very involved industrial enthusiasts (whatever the fuck that means), but I've never really been the biggest cheerleader of industrial music in general. I have nothing against it, and I like my fair share actually, it's just that I'm particularly picky. Youth Code, for all intents and purposes, probably aren't even really an industrial band...as they seemingly just bust out really harsh music that propel out of the stereo like hardcore music with drum machines and stuff. That's basically what I think the goal is, and probably why I'm as in tune with it as I am...since yet again, it's hardcore music and it's unwavering in its approach for better or for worse. Thankfully, to these ears, it's often for the better and for the duration of Commitment to Complications, it chugs and beats its way through songs that will fluctuate in sheer ugliness, but no less leave some sort of impression. Cathartic of sorts in its, occasionally over the top, aggression. But I'm digging it, big gross warts and all. Youth Code – Glass Splitter (stream) BUY IT! 18 – Fake Limbs – Matronly (Don Giovanni) It seems almost unbelievable that these guys haven't popped up on a previous best of list of mine, as their two albums prior to this one were both fantastic pieces of noisy, yet intricately designed noise-rock of sorts. There are plenty of bands that turn and choose to ravage the already fairly stripped mines of Chicago/Midwestern based noise-rock/math-rock, but Fake Limbs are a band that seems to get it more so than most. There doesn't need to be a strictly adhered sense of nostalgia here, there CAN be some fun to be had with it, which is one of the brightest spots to this band. Just by song titles/theme alone, you can gather that they can easily poke fun of themselves, just as much as the whole entire musical landscape of which they proudly occupy. In the process, they do it with being nothing short of riff monsters, slinging fuzzy goodness and shaping it in ways that have only been heard few and far between before. There is skill here, which is often disregarded when coming up with rock music that is simply designated and designed to be “noisy”. Fake Limbs have been ripping apart the idyllic stagnation of noise-rock one album at a time, and Matronly is just the latest and greatest of their efforts. Fake Limbs – Lil Bit (stream) BUY IT! 17 – Multicult – Position Remote (Reptilian) Multicult are certainly no stranger to these pages, as pretty much every album of theirs has absolutely destroyed in some way or another. Scarily consistent they are, which is why Position Remote is popping up here because it hardly deters from what has made the band so great. Skilled musicians doing interesting and actually strangely catchy things with the mathier side of the rock equation. It's hard to do, yet Multicult have been pumping out tunes that zig-zag in ways that could easily cause bouts of dizziness. To me, they've always shared the same quality mind unraveling aesthetic of the great Table, which in my opinion released one of the greatest and unheralded math-rock albums ever. So, for Multicult to have the same kind of craftsmanship and melodic sensibility as a band like that, says plenty of their music. It's not too late to get on board with this, as there are plenty of prior albums to dig and chew through if this one happens to hit that sweet spot. Multicult – Tesseract (stream) BUY IT! 16 – Bruxa Maria – Human Condition (Extreme Ulimate) First time hearing of the band Bruxa Maria and the label that put out their record Extreme Ulimate, which after hearing Human Condition is eerily accurate to what is portrayed here. Going through my list of favorite records this year, it actually turned out to be a pretty solid year for noise-rock, which I'd thought had been kind of suffering for the past couple years or so (probably longer). Between Bruxa Maria and that new Conduit EP, there may be hope yet! With Human Condition they come out with a bit of a red herring with the tune “The Hipsters and the Heathens”, which seems like some innocuous ramped up noise-punk, but quickly runs into the next track “Socially Cleansed” wherein that notion is immediately dispelled with jarring blasts of noise/distortion and electronics before locking into a grotesque distorted groove. The overall aggressive nature of this one is impressive, and is no less matched by vocalist Gill Dread, who screams and wails over this entire mess with little regard of the destruction that is likely being placed on her vocal chords. Dedication if there ever was such a thing. Bruxa Maria – Human Condition (stream) BUY IT! 15 – Behavior – 375 Images of Angels (Iron Lung) Interesting addition to the plentiful catalog of quality Iron Lung releases, Behavior takes on the minimalist side of post-punk to relatively decent results. Understandably, I don't think a lot of people really dug this record very much, but for whatever reason the unevenness of everything taking place on 375 Images of Angels seems to gel with me musically and personally I suppose. Behavior seem uncomfortable on every level of what they are doing, but do it in a manner that tries to maintain some type of freedom or outsider rock. I'm not sure, but it's the uncomfortable tendencies that draw me in and they sound pretty exhausted doing it. Have I reached that level yet? Possibly, but I envision Behavior and this album as my ultimate landing spot of pure disdain for everything around me. Overall, the songs range between sparse post-punk to compositions that come surprisingly fleshed out, but writhe in a distinct chill that still feels terribly rigid and tense. Good album, although I'd be shocked if we hear another from them. Behavior – 78 (stream) BUY IT! 14 – No Sister – No Sister (Self-Released) They have a song on this album called “This Heat”, which I feel like is more than just a reflection on a moment of sweltering weather outside for one or more band members, despite what the lyrics may suggest. Listening to No Sister, it's not at all out of the question that they got just a touch of their influence from the great avant-rock/experimental giants This Heat. While notably more tuneful and less experimental than This Heat ever were, No Sister strive for a sound that is similarly harbored in the deteriorated sounds of such a world, but skirting and lurking around in the dark depths of NYC no-wave shadows like Sonic Youth, Live Skull, DNA, or Band of Susans. Pretty much every song here is anchored by a heavily driving bass roll, while the jangle and squall of the guitars do the rest here. Very cool record that serves as a very nice flashback to a small sect of time where music like this was flourishing. No Sister – Making Wheels Spin (Louder Than Words) (stream) BUY IT! 13 – Lazy Legs – Visiondeath (Wild Patterns) There has always got to be one record that roots itself in shoegaze yesteryear that I will fall in love with, and this year it happens to be Visiondeath from the Chicago based Lazy Legs. Obviously I'm not going to sit here and try and kid anyone into thinking that this album is by any means some sort of genre altering excursion, because it's certainly not, however Lazy Legs do all the things right with Visiondeath that you'd pretty much want to hear out of a record of this nature. Taking a very similar approach to peers Cheatahs and implementing a fuzzier/grungier type of rock element sound allows it to be every bit as dreamy as it needs to be while still being able to maintain a bit of an alternative/rock edge that helps fill out of the sound and fulfills the small hole of proper noise that is always welcome but often sorely missed in a lot of modern shoegaze. Lazy Legs – Snaketeeth (stream) BUY IT! 12 – Human Hands – Morning Sun (Time as a Color / Strictly No Capital Letters) Still is somewhat of a shock that these guys are from the UK, because Morning Sun sounds so much like the great midwesterny slowcore/emo that was pretty common in the 90's. I probably spouted the same shit when I actually wrote about this record (one of the very few I motivated myself to do this past year) a handful of months ago. But whatever, it's true. These dudes are pulling all the right strings of the Codeine/Bedhead/C-Clamp area of things and don't make me want to fall asleep while listening to it, which is a real achievement...because lord there were a lot of bands like this that were just flat out fucking boring. I still haven't went back and listened to their prior album, which from what I understand is a bit different than this one, but if they decide to continue with this trajectory of sadness, then I'm on board. Keep being miserable guys, it's working. Human Hands – Cell (stream) BUY IT! 11 – Blue Smiley – Return (Self-Released) I've listened to a couple or so albums by Blue Smiley prior to this one and none of them really ever stuck, but from the get go of Return things were noticeably different. There is just something so effortlessly otherworldly to their music that kind of nestles itself between the norms of indie-rock and the jangly fuzzy nature of shoegaze, but doesn't quite fit in comfortably with either of them. It's odd. However there was something always in the back of my mind with Blue Smiley and Return that I knew it sounded vaguely like something that I've heard before, and then it finally struck me...they bare a bit of a resemblance to the underrated 12 Rods. I don't know, I think it's just the same kind of garish melodic choices that get me. Certainly fuzzier and warmer sounding, Blue Smiley are about as easy/breezy as it gets on Return, catapulting off of the basis of jangle-pop and ending up somewhere in fucking space. Really good record folks. Blue Smiley – Spin (stream) BUY IT! 10 – Horse Jumper of Love – Horse Jumper of Love (Disposable America) Lately Boston has been very rich on indie-rock that prides itself on appearing carefree/slacker-esque, however under all the posturing is a noticeable amount of nervous/anxiety ridden folks making music. It's been kind of glorious in a way, as bands like Pile have really taken to it like no other. However there are plenty of others to be found within that scene that are making similarly incredible/captivating music, and Horse Jumper of Love is one of those. It's easiest to think of them as a drowsy/sleepier version of Pile or Fat History Month, sounding as if they are occasionally medicated to some degree to help relax or reflect, whichever. While still sharing much of the same off-kilter note bending that much of their contemporaries feature, Horse Jumper of Love obviously have desires to be somewhere not heavily populated and stress free. The feeling of exhaustion within the album is heavy, but it's entirely relatable and they convey very well through songs that feel of desolation, isolation, and having to apologize for who we are. Horse Jumper of Love – DIRT (stream) BUY IT! 09 – Giant Peach – Tarantula (Don Giovanni) I know I mentioned it in my initial write up of this record, but I was thoroughly surprised to know Giant Peach was still a band. After releasing a single that I enjoyed about four or five years ago, they ultimately seemed to disappear, only to pop up out of nowhere with this fantastic record on Don Giovanni. Surprised in the best way possible I guess. Really, from what I can remember from that single, not a whole lot has changed in terms of approach on Tarantula, maybe just a bit tighter and ever so slightly more polished. However, if catchy throwback indie-rock is your type of thing then this record absolutely brings it. “Deserted” is easily in my top songs of the year, as its essentially a masterpiece of crunchy fuzz and melody. Any band that cut something as good as that wins my respect any day of the week. Thankfully Tarantula doesn't just tease with that song alone and reels off a bunch of other solid tunes that are of near ear worm quality. Hell, at least if the band decides to disappear for years again, they'll have at least released this fantastic slice. Giant Peach – Deserted (stream) BUY IT! 08 – Spray Paint – Feel the Clamps (Goner) Spray Paint have always been a band that kind of makes their living reveling in the darker corners of the world, however it's always been kind of a vague sense of ominous behavior or a sneaking suspicion of something amiss. On the Feel the Clamps the band decided to go all in on that aspect of their sound and what is created is a very lurid and scary mess of post-punk that rattles its way through eleven tracks. It's apparent that this record didn't quite go over as well as some of their earlier releases, and I feel like the absolute focus on moving into a more sinister space probably had something to do with that, or it's also possible that this record just isn't as good. But nonetheless, I'm a fan and it's a record that I envision towns like Big Tuna in Wild at Heart being the entire inspiration for or the sort of record that Chop Top from TCM 2 would make if he were a musician. Just entirely creepy from start to finish and the hammer like bass just never ever quits, even when the guitars seemingly fall apart or deteriorate into whatever bizarre black hole they initially crawled out of. Spray Paint – Burn Barrel (stream) BUY IT! 07 – Notches – High Speed Crimes (Cat Dead Details Later & Young Modern) Heard High Speed Crimes at the very beginning of the year and it still holds up. On top of that it produced one of my absolute favorite songs of the year with “Cure for Feeling Cool”, which is entirely too catchy and exceeds at being sort of an anthemic blast of, dare I say it, fuzzed out pop/punk? Either way, it's reigned in and self-aware enough to not become cheesy or overbearing, Notches are simply about good fun, high energy, and songs to match. The completely open guitars make for an extremely loud and noisier affair than the typical slick sounding bullshit that seems to gestate from this area of things, as High Speed Crimes delves into the sloppiness and gritty nature that Jawbreaker showed signs of in their earlier material. No matter, Notches harness a type of energy here that translates into an extremely fun album. Notches – Don't Care About You (stream) BUY IT! 06 – Animal Faces – Other Places (Self-Released) I listened to this record earlier this year without any kind of knowledge that this was the same Animal Faces that I'd heard like five or so years ago with their 7-inch Analytical Dreaming. As you can imagine, the reason being that they sound entirely fucking different from what they did then. The band I remember was a decent, but not overly inspiring post-hardcore/emo band. I mean, I kind of forgot about the single altogether, so that should tell you something right there. Apparently they'd been popping out a single or something of similar degree every year since but I failed to follow. I'm not sure if the trajectory on those records would have foresaw this or not, but Other Places is practically a record from a different band. What is found here though is very good and if it took years to get to this, then it's been well worth it. Animal Faces have adapted a very loose, easy going form of indie-rock that weaves in and out of odd harmonies and melodies for the majority of it. Sometimes it turns things up a bit and gets a fair bit noisy/fuzzy in an 90's alternative kind of way, but for the most part things are more or less centered on the sleepier/exasperated type of indie-rock that isn't too far from what Pile have been doing. In fact, the singers vocals sound eerily similar at times...along with some of the guitar tones. Can't really blame them though, it's working, and Animal Faces seem to be taking it in a bit more of a straight forward rock/emo territory, which kind of fits back with their roots anyway. Really odd way to end up liking a record, but I'll take it however I can get it these days. Animal Faces – Halfgrown (stream) BUY IT! 05 – Tongues - I Really Have to Get My Life Back on Track Before I Cut All My Hair Off (Moniker) Feels good to have a local band this far up on the list. Tongues are a duo from Kansas City that have undoubtedly spent a lot of time with some Godflesh, Big Black, and early Swans records at some point during their brief lives. The first song is called “We Live Under a Bridge”, and if I'd not already seen these guys, then I'd be inclined to almost believe that. The music, if you haven't already gathered, is of the grotesquely loud and monotonous pounding variety...employing added abuse from a drum machine that ranges from a slow breathe knocked out of your chest force or the speedier punk ADD fueled sounds that echo back to Mr. Ablini's earlier ventures. Honestly the drum machine plays a large roll into the success of this record, as the sound they get out of it is fantastically cheesy and dated that it works so well with what they are doing. Like they pulled it out of a dumpster somewhere, fired that piece of shit up and made some music. Indecipherable vocals are added to the mix, which only make things that more delightfully muddied and/or terrifying. Pretty excited to know these dudes are in my backyard of sorts. Tongues – Killing (stream) BUY IT! 04 – Exploded View – Exploded View (Sacred Bones) Late addition to the list, as this is probably the last great record of 2016 that I managed to hear, despite it likely coming out months ago. That's the way I operate now folks. Exploded View are a group featuring Annika Henderson, political journalist turned musician after her collaborative effort with Geoff Barrow. With Exploded View she takes her deep and somewhat breathy spoken word vocal style and pairs it up with the pulsating rhythms of cold post-punk and no-wave. Occasionally surrounding the rolling bass lines with a flurry of guitar hum/rattle, most of the work here is definitely being handled on the low-end. The real achievement for Exploded View lies in the atmosphere that is given by the record, as it's certainly a mood piece in many ways. It's cold, but not entirely lifeless...but also feels like the musings of the sole survivor drifting in a lost space station somewhere. The bleeps, bloops, and chimes that often crop up throughout only go to solidify this type of mood. “Lark Descending” is essentially staring out the port hole into complete nothingness, but boiled down into the musical equivalent. Exploded View seem to capture a bit of a noir feel throughout the album, but never fully latch on to it or go too deep with it. As much as it tends to rattle the walls, it's also very easy to let your mind drift to this one...an album that undoubtedly engulfs the listener from the very first notes. Exploded View – No More Parties in the Attic (stream) BUY IT! 03 – Wrong – Wrong (Relapse) Go ahead and give me all the shit you want about this one, but I'll go to bat for this record any day of the week. Wrong delivered the best heavy rock album there was to be this year with a set of songs that revel in full on taco riff glory. A lot of my love for this record goes back to simpler times when bands like Helmet, Tad, and Fudge Tunnel were the light of my life. Some of that desire to listen to those bands has survived...despite Page Hamilton's very best efforts to ruin anything good there ever was about Helmet. What Wrong do with their debut album is pretty much take all the best aspects of that era of rock/alternative and make a whole fucking album out of it. What's not to like? It's obviously not going to win any awards for originality, but there also hasn't been a record that sounded this good, that is of similar nature, since any one of those aforementioned bands were still releasing (meaningful) records. All in all, Wrong is pretty much a goldmine of riffy goodness and if you're like me and get WAY too excited about bands like Paw doing a one off show somewhere, then this album is for you. Wrong – Fake Brain (stream) BUY IT! 02 – Autolux – Pussy's Dead (30th Century & Columbia) Aside from being wonderful musicians, Autolux are also a group of the absolute best procrastinators. At least that's what I like to think, but there is probably a lot more to it than that...like you know...actually writing songs and stuff. However, whatever it may be, Autolux have become synonymous with the term “glacial pace”, as they've squeezed out 3 albums over the period of roughly 13 years. Their debut Future Perfect, in itself, had long been anticipated prior to its release in 2004 (unsurprisingly one of my favorite albums of that year). While 2010's Transit Transit was a bit of disappointment from my perspective, I thought Pussy's Dead was going to lead down the same path, but it didn't take very long to warm up to this one. I was hoping for something different and that's what I got with Pussy's Dead, although I thought it might be more of a return to the more rock version that had graced their debut. Instead Autolux threw me for a loop and pushed further into the electronic/dub/experimental side of things. In fact, when listening to Pussy's Dead there is very little in terms of actual “guitar” here...just a lot of bass, synth, and cut/chopped electronic fuckery, From what I understand, their stage setup for their live show is pretty impressive/daunting. Autolux has always operated within the dreamier side of rock/pop, and despite the push towards more electronics/beats, they still manage to come off as the orbiting spacey presence that they've always been, just in a very regrouped form. A song like “Brainwasher” is the type that bores its way into our skull and never ever leaves...it's brutally heavy in a way that most people wouldn't even begin to think of. There are aspects of this that remind me of the atmospheric qualities that are shared on HTRK's Psychic 9-5 Club, but not on the same level of minimalism. Honestly, this one gets better with each listen, and I know that's a pretty cliched phrase, but for once I think it's actually true. Shoot me. Autolux – Brainwasher (stream) BUY IT! 01 – Sigh Down One – Memory is Short Longing (IFB & L'oeil du Tigre) This was another album that I wasn't even sure was actually ever going to happen. The band had been trickling out digital only singles since around 2013 or so and the updates were pretty far and few between. Plus, I'm pretty certain that the majority of the members all play in different bands too. So yeah, this one was definitely nice to see arrive this year as I'd greatly enjoyed the little bits and pieces that they'd floated out there. The debut Memory is Short Longing is on one hand a throwback to the grungier alternative days of the 90's, but it's balanced out with the heftiness of bass heavy fuzzy tones that land them also in the good graces of shoegaze fans too. The band is almost as if Lush had opted for more distortion as opposed to heading down the Cocteau Twins ethereal path. The melodies are obviously the selling point with Sigh Down One, every song is just loaded down to the gills with them and tonally is strikingly heavy at times too...one slip up and it's easy to envision the band becoming a sludge-rock/doom act. No shit, things are that thick and syrupy here. I give them kudos, they did everything right here, nuanced to a tee and catchy as hell. Sigh Down One – Lake (stream) BUY IT!

[techfaktory]

20 (Free) Things You NEED to Do After Launching Your Ecommerce Website

You finally did it.

After many sleepless nights, you’ve finally launched your website. It was a long and arduous journey, but it’s finally over!

Except it isn’t. Not even close.

Launching your website was a big step, but it’s only the first of many.

Just because you have a website up and running, doesn’t mean anybody is actually going to come visit it.

The real work begins now!

Here are the top 20 things you should be doing right after you launch your e-commerce website.

1. Get Your Product Feeds Ready

Your e-commerce website is up, and it’s time to let the world know it!

By submitting a product data feed to shopping channels like Google Shopping and Amazon, you let them know exactly what you are selling. Note that I used the word “exactly.”

That’s because the more comprehensive and specific your product data feed is, the more likely it will show up for relevant searches. Completing the product data feed might be boring and tedious work, but it will help you get the much-coveted buying-intent-filled traffic all e-commerce websites desire.

2. Install a Backup Plugin

Your new site is now up and running. You’ve put a lot of work into it, and you want to protect your investment. This is the perfect time to set up a backup plugin to make sure your hard work is protected.

In a world full of server crashes and security breaches, a plugin that creates regular backups can give you some invaluable peace of mind that your site can easily be restored in case anything goes wrong. It’s just the smart thing to do.

3. Set Up Your XML Sitemap File

Everybody publishing a website wants to be seen, and creating a sitemap.xml file will help to ensure that yours is.

This file lists and organizes all the pages and URLs of your website, letting Google read and understand it much more effectively. Doing this will help Google index your entire site and rank it better.

The best part is, if you’re using WordPress, it is really easy to do.

Simply install the Google XML Sitemaps plugin, and you’ll have that sitemap.xml file ready before you can say “Hey Google, notice me!”

4. Spread the Word on Social Media

If you’ve just launched a new website, you want to get as many visitors on it as you can. One of the simplest ways to do that is simply to promote your website on social media. Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all boast users in the millions. Take advantage of that audience by promoting your site on these platforms as much as you can. Let your Facebook friends and Twitter and Instagram followers know that you’ve got something new that they might find of value.

It just makes sense!

5. Set Up Your Website’s Social Media Accounts

It’s one thing to promote your website on your social media accounts — it’s an entirely different thing to create social media accounts for it.

A well-curated social media account can add legitimacy and authority to your website. People are more likely to trust a website that is highly visible on social media than one with no social media presence at all. After all, the more subscribers and followers you have, the more convincing you usually are. That’s why it’s important to get started on your website’s social media accounts as soon as possible.

6. Create More Content

If you think that launching the website was the hard part, then you’ve got another thing coming. That was actually the easiest part of the journey. Now you’ve got to get to producing a steady stream of content to keep your site relevant and current. Nobody wants to visit a stale website. You can never have enough content.

You’ve got to keep churning out new content or your launch is going to be the highlight of your website.

7. Configure Google Analytics

In all the excitement of your website launch, don’t forget to configure your website with Google Analytics. Doing this will let give you access to the data that you will find to be incredibly valuable if you want to grow your website.

This includes:

-The number of site visitors.

-How your keywords are doing.

-Where your website traffic is coming from.

-Who exactly your traffic is.

-And much more data.

All it takes is a little bit of Google code.

If you’re serious about growing your website’s audience, then having Google Analytics is definitely a must.

8. Send Out A Press Release

Your new website is up, but chances are, nobody knows what it’s all about.

That’s why sending out a press release can prove to be valuable. This serves as a first initial introduction to who you are and what your website is about. Your press release doesn’t have to be a long, either. A concise introduction is all you need to let me people know you’re in business.

9. Get Your Site SEO-Ready

Promoting your new website on social media and email may get you some good traffic, but nothing beats Google when it comes to reaching some serious numbers.

That’s why getting your site’s SEO right is such a big deal. More traffic means more potential sales and leads for your new e-commerce website. Now SEO is incredibly complicated, but you don’t need to be an expert on it. There are lots of SEO plugins out there like Yoast SEO that can make SEO simple, and really make a big difference in how Google ranks your website. It’s definitely something you have to set-up right away.

10. Change Your Permalink Structure

Permalinks are permanent links that people (and maybe more importantly, Google) uses to recognize the individual pages of your website.

WordPress’ default permalinks aren’t very SEO-friendly.

After all, how does the permalink “yoursite.com/?p=101” add any value in Google’s eyes?

Instead, setting the permalink to your post title would be much more useful for SEO purposes.

As an added bonus, anybody reading “yoursite.com/post-title” can get a quick idea of what the page is all about at a glance.

11. Set Up Google Search Console

Google Search Console (GSC) should be one of the very first things you set up on your new website. GSC allows you to understand how Google sees your website. This is extremely valuable because if you can understand how Google sees your website, you can take specific steps to improve your ranking. It also shows you who is linking back to your website, as well as point out internal errors, if there are any. You can also see how your site appears in the search engine results, and let you know which keywords your site is showing up for.

12. Beef Up Security

You’ve just launched your website and are probably feeling like a proud new parent right about now. That pride is soon replaced by dread, as you realize there are terrible things out there looking to do your baby wrong: mainly malware, viruses, and hackers.

For peace of mind, look to install a firewall of some sort to protect your website from all these things. There are tons of free security plugins out there, and you should take advantage.

13. Enable Caching

Your site may be brand spanking new, but if it loads like an old car from the junkyard, nobody is going to want to stay on it.

Content is king, but speed is always a major factor when it comes to keeping visitors happy. Installing a free caching plugin will allow your site to reduce loading speeds significantly. There are lots of free caching services out there, so it doesn’t make sense not to take advantage.

14. Take Advantage of Google Alert Mentions

This is by far the easiest way to keep your finger on the pulse.

Setting Google Alert Mentions to your website name and specific keywords you’re tracking can let you know exactly what people are saying about your website and your specific keywords. This way, you will know what’s current and relevant about the things you are promoting/selling/writing about. You’ll also know exactly what kind of content your competition might be coming out with.

Knowing these things as they happen will allow you to respond accordingly.

15. Set Up Email List Sign-Ups

Website traffic is great, but the main point of it is to get into their inboxes.

That’s where you can build relationships, promote ideas, and really sell products to the people. That’s why it is of utmost importance that you set up a way for your website visitors to leave their emails with you. Of course, having an email list signup form available is a completely different thing from getting your traffic to actually sign up for it.

Come up with creative incentives to convince your audience that joining your email list will be of value to them, such as offering a free e-book or access to gated content.

16. Take Advantage of HARO

Help A Reporter Out or HARO is a service that can get you some serious press for free. Signing up will get you three emails a day with questions from journalists. If you see any questions you can answer, send an in-depth response to the mystery journalist. If your response piques their interest enough, they will reach out and most probably use you as an expert source for whatever they are writing. They get an expert source of information and you get some free exposure. Everybody’s happy!

17. Create A Press Page

This is where you can tell your website’s story.

It should talk about what your website is all about, how it came to be, and the key details that make it unique. This press page is something you will be linking to whenever you are writing to people about your website, so you should take great care to make sure everything is perfect.

Make sure the story is clear, and that the copy is grammatically perfect.

18. Reach Out to Website Editors & Bloggers

It might seem like a strange idea to reach out to websites and blogs that are in the same field as you, but getting connected to more established people can really help with your new website’s credibility. Start nurturing a relationship with these people and email them one-by-one to see if they would be willing to work with you.

If the content you have to offer is good, they’ll recognize the value that you bring and maybe even give you a valuable shout-out on their website.

19. Build an Initial Link Foundation

E-commerce or not, every website looking to get higher in the rankings should look to generate inbound links. Inclusion in free (and some paid) directories is an ideal option for businesses with a local footprint or a business without any existing backlinks.

There’s no shortage of entries and submissions, so it might take a while before you actually get on the site. That’s why it makes sense to submit as soon you are launched. It also doesn’t hurt your application to have a great website that offers a lot of quality content, is aesthetically pleasing, and just generally works really well.

20. Add More Products!

A new website usually has much less content on it than one that is more established. That’s why it’s a good idea for e-commerce websites to add more products as soon as possible. This adds valuable content that can help your site with its ranking for certain keywords.

A website with more product selection also looks a lot more legitimate than one that’s almost empty. Implement These Strategies to Fuel Your Sales Machine. Launching an e-commerce website is no easy feat. But it’s what you do after the launch that really determines your success.

Be sure to keep these tips in mind and watch your traffic — and more importantly, sales — shoot through the roof.

Source: https://www.searchenginejournal.com/after-launching-ecommerce-website/346778/#close

[crankyangela-blog1]

The Types of Card Games

There are limitless types of cards to be played. People believe because two video games utilize the same deck of 52-cards they are similar video games, but nothing at all could be more unique of Barbu and Speed, or Pai Pinochle and Gow.

Here's a set of twenty different types of card games, plus some facts about them. Also happy wheels unblocked comes in this category.

1.Bridge

Bridge is a favorite contract bidding video game. Bridge has a tradition -- there are websites, newspaper columns, and actually radio shows specialized in bridge strategy. There exists a world-wide obsession with bridge, though it has been known as the hardest card video game in the world. With a complicated technique and steep learning curve, to many bridge is not only a game, it really is a lifestyle. I want I were exaggerating. 

2. Whis 

Whist could possibly be called "Bridge, Jr" -- and even though it isn't as big a casino game as it was previously, and is dwarfed in recognition by big-brother Bridge, Whist hasn't really died out. Cards gamers love trick-taking video games -- defeating out your opponent in that visual way is among the more exciting component of any card video game. Whist has a number of the complexity of Bridge with no bidding 

3. Texas Hold'em

TEXAS HOLD EM is something of a legend -- a poker variation with a tale as rich mainly because a Spaghetti western. This edition of poker, a drawing and gambling game, was invented and made popular by aged period poker sharks in Texas, therefore the name. This is the most popular poker variant right now easily, and is bringing even more new visitors to card video gaming than any other video game.

4. Hearts

It is stated that the majority of the professional poker tour players are hardcore Hearts players and they bet a lot of money on cutthroat video games of Hearts in dark mysterious areas during tournaments. Romantic simply because that may audio, it would seem sensible for these cards sharks to like the overall game of Hearts - an normally childlike video game of coordinating cards (no bidding) usually becomes a competitive nightmare. Due to the video game play, there are numerous methods to screw your opponents in Hearts. Trick-winning and passing card are big components of Hearts.

5. Spades

People don't understand it, but spades is a variation of bridge that simplifies the overall game a lot more than Whist and adjustments the results of the game aswell. Spades is actually popular in large groups, on college campuses, and in tournaments all over the world. There may be as much variants of Spades as there are organizations playing it -- because of "jailhouse guidelines" which penalize techniques like stage sandbagging and the presence of multiple variations of "house guidelines". A strategic video game you can perform without paying very much attention if you would like.

6. Go-fish

This is actually the simple children's card matching game most of us remember from our childhood. You can play Go-fish with as much players as you possess cards. Some individuals claim Go-Seafood is usually a variation of Rummy however the simplicity of the overall game and the children's video game gimmick make it most likely a few toy company's creation. Enough strangely, Go-fish is called Literature in some elements of the world. Write in the event that you understand that one 

7. War

Another children's game (or time-killing game) War is usually a straight luck centered game. Based on the flop of the cards, you either earn or drop a war. Most people beneath the age of 30 learned Battle before they discovered any additional card game. You will see War played a whole lot in lines at airports.

8. Oh Hell!

Replace your own dirty term for "Hell!" and you understand this party game. The majority of the fun may be the fact that you will get to cuss a whole lot and folks laugh at you. What maintains this video game popular is that it's a strict betting video game. The thing of Oh Hell! is usually to bid the complete number of methods you will win. You need to take only the quantity that you bid, no more no much less. Play is exact, and due to the framework of the overall game, one player usually blows it big style. There. That's what's fun. Screwing your opponent.

9. Blackjack

An art game that in a few casinos may be the best bet you may make, when you can play an ideal hand. This is probably the most popular gambling establishment card game, and includes a place in well-known tradition as THE "Vegas" video game. The main point is to create a hand that results in a complete of 21 factors without going over, and finding yourself with an increased number compared to the dealer. Players compete keenly against the House directly, increasing the fun. Small known fact -- there is somewhere nowadays a blackjack player's hall of fame. Safe and sound to say that game's got a cult following

10. Baccarat

James Bond's favorite video game (don't believe the hype -- it wasn't poker or blackjack -- browse the books) Baccarat is a simple betting game. Players wager on who'll win confirmed hand - the participant, the banker, or if you will see a tie. Sure it appears easy, but Baccarat is definitely a skill game. A little sidenote about Baccarat -- the name originates from the name of the most severe possible hand. This would end up like phoning your video poker machine "High Cards Poker". Just does not have the same band as "Royal Flush".

11. Solitaire

The most varied card game in the global world. In England, they contact this game Patience, and once and for all reason. Solitaire requires small set up beyond placing cards in particular places, and is generally played by yourself. Solitaire is another well-known airport line waiting video game.

12. Rummy and variations

There are numerous different types of Rummy, a lot more than are probably on paper on any list. I've created for a site that experienced me list 500 variations or various other names for Rummy, therefore I'll spare you the reading and simply say there are many types of Rummy. The popular variations are known as Gin Rummy, Liverpool Rummy, and Agreement Rummy. The feature which makes a casino game a Rummy can be a player matching similar cards into pairs and additional groups. Some specialists believe the Chinese video game of Mahjong is certainly section of the Rummy family members, though I'd wager the Chinese are simply fine with Mahjong since it is.

13. Pai Gow

This is a vintage Chinese domino game that is passed down over time as a poker variation. You will see Pai Gow at casinos in both as a poker and a domino game -- it really is probably the casino video game that minimal number of individuals understand. This is normally a casino game of fast bets, participant versus dealer. Pai Gow strategy is simply as rich as any various other poker betting game, and the lifestyle of Pai Gow is comparable to the Blackjack tradition -- super-fast wagers and edgy behavior at the margins.

14. Spoons

A silly card video game probably invented to maintain kids out of problems, Spoons is a bluffing video game (with some components of complementing) that uses basic kitchen utensils as an extra play element. The 1st participant in the group to attract a poker design four of a sort gets to a pile of spoons in the center of the desk, signalling the additional players to grab for just one. Since there's one much less spoon than players, one player will be overlooked every time. So its an interpersonal interaction game, rather than a game chock filled with card strategy. its fun still. Great date night video game.

15. Speed

Velocity (sometimes called Spit) is a matching game that's unique since both players play concurrently and as fast because they can. In Rate, a new player tries to 'obtain rid' of his / her cards by coordinating them to cards positioned face-up for grabs. That is an in person game, though there's actually small interaction between your two opponents. The previous few moments of any video game of Acceleration reminds me of solitaire on fast-forward, with hands and cards flying around and rows forming and draining like drinking water pipes. Strange game, Speed. 

16. Crazy 8s

That is another children's matching game, you could say it really is cousin to the favorite game Uno. The 8s in the deck of regular cards are believed "crazy" not really because they have to become medicated but to point they are crazy cards. In a few variations of Crazy 8s, not only Wild Cards but various other "guideline cards" exist, producing the game more technical for older players.

17. Slapjack

If you want to instruct more complex cards to younger children, Slapjack may be the perfect vehicle. The thing of Slapjack is to obtain the complete deck of cards by complementing and slapping pairs. Kids prefer to slap stuff, and the overall game can be played again and again.

18. Old Maid

Its not necessary an "Old Maid" deck to play this kid's card game -- any standard 52 card deck can do. Just remove among the Queens. Aged Maid is a coordinating game where players discover pairs You trade cards together with your opponent until that participant is remaining with the unmatched Queen. Matching video games are well-known, and the novelty "Aged Maid" packs are fun for children.

19. Cribbage

That is a hybrid board and card game with complicated rules that generally intimidates people, hardcore card gamers even. You play cribbage by forming sets of cards that are well worth different point values, and shifting a peg on a table that represents your improvement accordingly. Requiring a particular board (or an instant hands with a pen and paper) cribbage isn't the very best travel game, but as followers of cribbage will let you know, no two video games are alike. There are solitaire variations of cribbage, and additional varieties of cribbage action to select from if you are bored with the typical version.

20. Pinochle

Pinochle is popular since it is a trick-taking video game that you play with a 48 cards deck. In Pinochle, you make an effort to make melds or techniques, very much like in Gin, but there's an extremely complex scoring program making the overall game fun to find out and also to master. To end up being proficient at pinochle, you need to play for several years, and lose lots of hands. Though it really is less popular every year, Pinochle is among those "heritage games".