#don't worry if your guy/gal isn't here

[andorshitdaily]

Andor characters + make up a guy tweets, part one

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Black Light 1

Warnings: namecalling, violence, other dark elements. Proceed with caution.

Note: someone said August.

Part of The Club AU

It's retro night. You're looking bomb, feeling fly, ready to get groovy. In a manner of speaking. Platforms, short skirt, a crop top with a faux fur bolero. You are channeling your inner Cher Horowitz.

It's your nineteenth birthday and you can drink your ass off. At last. It's your time. The best days of your life are ahead of you.

Not only are you vibing, you have your posse, your trio of thots. You're not the queen bee but you're a great sidekick. The Regina George of the group is definitely Amanda and her svelte blond hair, but you'd say Kamlai is more the Gretchen Wieners than you.

You smile at the bouncer, a man with a derisive look on his eye that makes you want to dissolve into sand or dust. Whatever. Maybe a nice eerie fog so you can float away. You only catch half his face as he keeps in the shadows, waving in coeds and a few middle-aged creepers.

You wish you got the nice one with the belly. You wait for the silent man to scowl at your ID. He holds it up beside you before he flicks it back to you.

"Thank you, sir," you catch the plastic card against your chest, his eye glinting towards your cleavage.

"Go," he growls and waves forward the next eager club goer.

"Oop, okay, sorry," you make a gesture like Betty Boop, raising your shoulders as you kick a foot up, "have a great night!"

He grumbles and you quickly run to catch up with Kam and Amanda. The pulsing music embraces you and you feel the energy flow into you. This night is gonna be awesome!

"You guys have to make sure to get pics of me!" Amanda hollers above the beat, "with the cutest guy I can find. Seth can eat his heart out."

You shake your head, shrugging off your disappointment. It's supposed to be your day but somehow Amanda always finds her way into the spotlight. You're not going to worry, you're all about fun!

You get your first round of drinks and find a seat. Amanda drinks her pink martini as she scopes out the room. She blows a nonplussed raspberry.

"Ugh, not finding any hunky fuckboys," she rolls her eyes, "I mean, I need someone super fucking hot."

"Don't we all," Kam giggles as her eyes rove, "how about an older guy?"

"Hm?" Amanda gives a pout and twists around to follow Kamlai's gaze. She tilts her head back and forth.

"Not too bad, I'll take the middle one," she winks, "you two can fight over who doesn't get specs."

You look at Kam then back to the three men along the wall. Amanda must be referring to the one with the spiky hair and glasses. He's cute but you're not really into the leering type.

"It's my birthday," you say as Amanda's already on her feet.

You peek at the third guy, sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes. He's not bad. Besides, you just have to dance, Amanda can do all the wants but you're not that kinda gal. You're too damn weird to be the hookup type.

"Fine," Kam rolls her eyes, "I'll take the nerd."

🥂

You grab the stranger's hands and once more drag them off your ass. You put them on your waist and give him a look. Dude, really, take a hint.

Well, he's not a stranger stranger. His name is Cole and he likes flowers. Adorable but still, a bit too old for you.

You turn, an excuse too look around at your friends as you shimmy your hips. Kam isn't as detered as she originally let on and Amanda is gone. Alright…

"How about a drink?" Cole startles you as he leans forward to yell in your ear, "I think I owe the birthday girl at least one."

"Oh, uh, alright," you turn back to him, "sure, I needa sit down anyway."

You follow him to the bar and wait by his arm as he orders. Fuck Amanda, really? Where is she?

"Here," Cole turns back to you, handing over the bright blue cocktail, "birthday special."

You nod and smile. You look at the slice of orange hooked over the edge and sniff the sweet drink. You put your lips to the straw but before you can take a sip, it's torn out of your grasp.

"Hey fucker," the snarl bites through the breakdown of the Cyndi Lauper classic.

A large figure pushes between you and Cole, throwing the drink in his face as he sputters. You gape in surprise and look up as the bouncer stands between you and your erstwhile dance partner. He grabs the smaller man by the collar, knocking his drink to the floor.

"Get the fuck outta here."

The bouncer shoves Cole into a stool and rolls his shoulders. You have no idea what's going on. Cole gulps and looks between you and the large man, himself not by any means small but taking a quick hint. He scrabbles away as you check your feet, a few drops of alcohol on your shoes.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you not to take drinks from strangers," the bouncer turns with a bark, "fucking bimbo."

You frown at the insult but can't muster a response before he storms away. You peer down at the puddle of the cocktail then spin to see the bouncer disappear through the door. Huh, he must've seen something you didn't. You should've known Cole was a creep. You just hope his friends aren't the same.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡SKZ React to Finding Out About Your Piercing In A…Certain Area♡

♡ I couldn't ask for a more unique assortment of requests to be sent my way. I love creating content for you guys. Thank you @lieslovefantasy for the request & I hope you find comfort in it ♡

♡ Pairings: ot8!skz x fem!afab!reader

♡ Genre: fluffy/suggestive

♡ Summary: You're nervous to tell the guy you're dating about your genital piercing, fearful of what he might say, but his actual reaction surprises you...

Warnings: This entire post focuses on genital piercings (nothing graphic or detailed) but if convos about vaginas make you uncomfortable then this isn't the post for you. There's also expression of sexual urges but this contains zero sexual contact ♡

I'm not a pierced gal but, if you're at all curious about it, you can find a guidebook here put together by a pro who's been doing it for ages. Stay safe babes

There's a spicier version here ♡

♡ Han's reaction can only be described as utter confusion. He hears what you're saying but it takes him a minute to process what you actually mean. None of this is because he finds it weird or unattractive that you got pierced. It's just that, up until this conversation, he didn't even know you could do that. He's genuinely fascinated though and, after a minute or so, he's staring at you with this wholesome curiosity in his eyes, like you're some work of art, eager to learn all there is to know about this new detail that makes the girl he's falling for even more interesting than she already is ♡

♡ Seungmin's convinced that you're joking. It's not unusual for you guys to say the most random thing that pops into your head just to see how the other will react so he decides to call your bluff, asking to see it since you really have it. You show him with no hesitation, holding your breath in anticipation of the usual smart ass comment leaving his lips and making you wish you hadn't told him, only it doesn't. Instead of saying something off the wall, he compliments your choice of jewelry and tells you how well it suits you. Yes, it's true that he typically takes great joy in being a pain in the ass about things but when it comes to you and your body he never wants you to question how loved it is by him ♡

♡ Felix senses right away that you're worried sick about how he'll feel. Interlocking his fingers with yours, he plants soft kisses along the back of your hand. He smiles at you, warm and gentle, assuring you that there's nothing you need to be nervous about. While he's absolutely clueless when it comes to piercings like this, it doesn't make him view you any differently than he already did. You're still the same charming, intelligent, funny girl that he has been and will always be obsessed with. Whenever you're comfortable showing it to him he'll be giddy about having the chance to see it. There's no doubt in his mind that he'll find it as beautiful as he does the rest of you ♡

♡ I.N has this friend who's best friends with a girl whose older brother's girlfriend got the same piercing as you which naturally means that, through information passed down to him, he's basically an expert on the topic. One thing though, he heard it doesn't really hurt. Something something about adrenaline. Is that true? How'd it feel? He apologizes, cuddling up to you, figuring you probably don't want to have flashbacks of that part. Either way, adrenaline high or not, he thinks you're so cool for getting it done. It's a decision that takes a lot of courage and knowledge of your identity to get done which he admires. You are, without a doubt, the most badass girl he's ever dated ♡

♡ Hyunjin has actually seen female genital piercings before. An artist friend of his did a photo series on it last summer meant to educate people on the 1001 different reasons that women choose to get them done. For some of them it had cultural or personal significance, for others, it was a spur of the moment decision they made simply because they wanted to do it. Which one is it for you? You don't have to tell him if you aren't ready but, if you choose to, you'll have his undivided attention and he'll cherish every word that leaves your lips the same way he always does. The fact that the two of you have gotten to the point that you feel safe enough to be this vulnerable has him getting low key sentimental ♡

♡ Lee Know isn't trying to be a perv or anything. He just doesn't understand how you could feel nervous about telling him something that's so insanely fucking hot. From what he's learned from 5 minutes of intently scrolling the internet, there's a chance that your piercing would make intimacy far more sensitive for you than it is for the average woman. That mischievous grin on his face says that he's more than willing to help you test it out if you haven't already. You roll your eyes when he throws out the idea that maybe he should get one too. He insists that his pain threshold is more than adequate to make getting it no big deal. After being reminded that it's not a competition, he calms down, his mind drifting back to how much fun it'll be to experiment with yours ♡

♡ Bang Chan admittedly has a hard time switching out of dad mode sometimes, often forgetting that he's with you and not his members. His instinct to make sure you're alright has him asking you how your healing went, how the experience was for you overall, and if there's anything he should or shouldn't do when you're being intimate that way he can make sure you only feel pleasure when the two of you are together. As touching as it is that he cares so much, you're a big girl and you feel safe enough with him to express your needs when they come up. You kiss him, promising him everything's fine but you'll let him know if anything changes, and he snaps out of it. He may be prone to worrying but it's only because you're so crazy important to him ♡

♡ Changbin's hugging you from behind when you tell him and this admission only makes him hug you tighter. He kisses your cute lil cheek and throws out a casual, "Oh...nice." It kind of breaks your brain that he's so unphased by finding this out. In the past when you've told people there's been some sort of reaction but you're pretty sure you'd get a stronger reaction out of him if you asked what he wanted for dinner. You question if that's all he has to say and he just shrugs, feeling that there's nothing else to say. He adores everything about the way that you express yourself externally. From the way you do your makeup and hair to the way you dress, he's always drooling over whatever you do. Anything you add to that wonderful base you have is just a bonus ♡

[astrojoy]

What Candy Is Coming Your Way?

Candy = good news

PAC

Candy Bag 1

💀 Boundaries improving (You will soon have more respect for yourself. I even got a song that flew out that clarified this, which was by Billie Eilish "You should see me in a crown") I keep imagining a cold person (who really isn't cold at heart) but can appear that way because of how the world treated them. It's a 'take no more sh-t' energy

💀 A lot of you will grow stronger and be more courageous, again :)

💀 More optimism or being headfirst with where you set your mind to

💀 Some of you are getting a new job or will be changing your career path

💀 A new friendship, particularly from the same sex/gender. I feel like this new friendship will be quite long lasting! Maybe some of you when you get a different job will make a new friend at this place

💀 Some of you can't wait for more cold weather ngl. I'm seeing its coming so dw 🤣 (it's October 30th rn as I'm making this)

💀 More relaxing time. More time to hang out with friends or loved ones. Some of you may soon invite or be invited to go out for coffee or tea with someone or some people

💀 For a lot of you life has been kinda stagnant. You may have been feeling discontent, like life is on a loop. Just boredom in total. It's about to be disrupted and life will move faster miss gals and pals 😏

💀 Also whatever these changes that are coming into your life are, are obviously good news, however they will take you out of your comfort zone at times, you are being told to tread bravely. Especially if you are someone who has trouble adapting to sudden changes

💀 This pile carried a lot of Fire and Wands energy. You guys had a major arcana card fly out, "Strength"

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you (I got a lot of pet names) - Pumpkin. Chestnut. Jonathan/Justin. Ivory. Strawberry/Berry. Bagel. Bunny/Easter. Egg??.

👻 Bundle of bananas

👻 Someone yanked a paper off a table (it was aggressive oml 😳 chill my guy. Is someone stressed about paperwork/classwork? Maybe someone will finally finish something and that was a yank of relief 😂)

👻 A peeled banana (wtf 🤣 does someone here like bananas AHAHA such a random vision)

👻 A rubber ducky (OHH Bananas and rubber ducks are both yellow. I wonder if the color is significant for this pile. Yellow is an optimistic and powerful color associated with energy and silliness or fun)

👻 Lasagna (Someone here may like it a lot) possibly have it some time soon (just depends)

👻 AGAIN someone yanked something off a desk or table. Similar vision of the same place/lighting and similar gesture. They yanked something else that wasn't a paper and wore something with sleeves (got a better view of them) someone here with darker hair

👻 A stereotypical piece of candy in the shape of this -> 🍬 It had a clear wrapper and was colored orangish pinkish? Warm colored. Someone here may have a sweetooth or get candy or something sweet soon :)

Candy Bag 2

💀 For a select few of you only, there may be some people behind your back, they may be jealous and start creating friction with something in your life or just in total. Like them creating accusations or something. Well I'm seeing you rise out on top so don't worry about them :)

💀 For others, I'm seeing a union. If you aren't looking for love then this is a partnership on some type of project or work. For the people looking for love or who wouldn't mind it, there's someone coming in with a possible offer of some sort. A love offer or confession "you are only mine" a promise of loyalty

💀 Happiness is coming into your life here at some point

💀 Some of you are going on a vacation. For others who may not be able to physically go on one, this talks about a mental one as well. Finding relaxing moments to calm the mind

💀 Attaining an authority position, success or victory in overcoming a challenge your in. Some here are getting a raise at work while others are upgrading in their life. This can be on social media too

💀 Experiencing happiness, again, I had the song fly out by Louis Armstrong "What a wonderful world"

💀 Uh, random, someone may have an encounter with a spirit or possibly a spirit guide. Whether it's through the dreams or waking life. Since this is good news based I'm guessing this isn't a bad one though :)

💀 This lover or whatever offer is coming in for a lot of people here is someone you don't know or aren't as familiar with. I had the song by Svrcina "Who are you" fly out

💀 Taboo energy is in the depths of this pile you picked. Some witches/wiccans are here. Some here have a cat. There may be good news revolving around general occult things :) maybe its answers you seek or practices you've worked on. Now I understand why I got my spirit card

💀 This pile carried a lot of Water and Cups energy

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you - G/Gina/Gunther? (Could start with a G? Or be just G/GG). Pony. Stephanie Princess. Cynthia. 4. Curly. Rose/Violet/Someone has or knows someone that's named after a flower (also could be the middle/last name. F (Name starts with an F? Fifi Fred? or something idk).

👻 A horse (A pet)

👻 Onigiri (someone here really likes these)

👻 Water (someone here may have a phobia or fear of drowning/possibly a memory of almost?)

👻 Apple (someone could have something of theirs shaped like an apple or maybe have apple trees, or just enjoy the fruit. Maybe an apple brand product)

👻 "Diamond" 😂 could be anything. Maybe someone here likes diamonds, maybe it's a name of someone you know. Possibly A treasured item has a diamond, etc etc

👻 I got the shape of a heart. Then I heard "Stove". So someone here might possibly have something on the stove or around that area (like decor or maybe a cooking timer, picture, mitten, on the fridge or beside the stove etc etc) with the shape of a heart or heart patterns picture(s) on it :)

Candy Bag 3

💀 This pile has slightly similar themes to one of the other piles but in a different way

💀 A new job or raise is in the cards

💀 A lot of people here feel stuck in something. Stuck in a situation, environment or maybe even to someone. Don't worry, the good news here is you are breaking free. For very few I'm seeing this negative thing that isn't serving you is so stuck that you've gotten "comfortable" in it. Or in other words, "used" to it, you feel numb and like it's all you know almost. I had the song by Call Me Karizma "Nails" fly out

💀 Btw I also said you won't feel stuck forever. Good news coming your way is a release. Leaving something behind. I had another song clarify this by One Republic "Counting Stars" Some things even though they're wrong or bad for you may make you feel the need to stay in the patterns you've been in but overall it's all about following the dreams and moving forward

💀 A manifestation may come to fruition too :)

💀 If you have any addictions or if you have an issue with self sabatoging (mental health issues in any way too) then I'm being told this will find mental balance. Good news for some may be medication coming in, getting help/therapy or even just leaving whatever situation had been causing this stress and etc. The effect of leaving will help you mentally

💀 Soulmate union is coming together for some! (Soulmates for me can range from friends, family, lovers, pets, etc)

💀 I'm getting a lot of hot, steamy, romantic and even sexual energy in this pile for some definitely here. Do some here have dirty thoughts or maybe even sexual addictions? Maybe someone here has a partner with such a thing? It's being toned down and eased so it's not as heavy on the shoulders. The song by Chloe Adams "Dirty thoughts" flew out

💀 Protection

Psychic visions I got for you guys (could be a personal item/name/like/dislike/issue etc etc):

👻 Names of your friends/pets/family/you - Love/Lovely. Baby/BB. Butterfly. Someone may have a pet snake or pet named after a snake "Slither" "Python" "Venom"

👻 Bow and Arrow/possibly a harp (I could only see a gold fancy or elvish rim of it the rest was blurred)

👻 "Doritos" (Someone likes this snack)

👻 Superman

👻 Someone here is girly btw. Like stereotypically feminine

👻 Some people here like to draw. I'm getting a lot of traditional drawing though :) Pen/pencil/marker/paint stuff etc

👻 Musical talent/writing in this pile. I'm guessing all this creative energy is coming out because it's quite prominent ^

👻 This pile didn't get as many visions/messages as the last ones did on this section. Maybe my mind is clouded now xD

[incorrect-play-it-by-ear]

Tumblr simulator in the Play It By Ear cinematic universe part 4

🐻 bears-right-to-school

I don't want anyone to worry but there are some. TRuly concerning sounds coming from the zoo a few blocks over. We're supposed to be visiting it tomorrow, but if the distinct cracking of a gate i just heard is anything to go by that might be postponed lol.

👈TAGlikethefilmlikethegamelikethefilm

I thought you were like an animal rights person? Call the police or something you freak

🐻 bears-right-to-school

What? What gave you that idea? also I am not a freak chill

👈TAGlikethefilmlikethegamelikethefilm

Your username???

🐻 bears-right-to-school

Oh. Ok so what I am about to say is NOT going to help me in the freak/non-freak discussion here

📺 Brendanlovestv

Me reading the notes on this post

963 notes

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

today's mood

🛜 financial-plans-are-for-nerds

Rachel please tell me this isn't another one of your "broad strokes, gets people in the door" ideas. We need an actual product

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

How many internets are there?

🛜 financial-plans-are-for-nerds

...one?

💻 all-we-need-to-do-is-start

You're gonna fucking love this

13 notes

💃 I-do-want

Can't wait to see where my bridesmaids are taking me for my bachelorette's this weekend 😍

💃 I-do-want

This has been the worst weekend of my life

#I didn't know steamboats were still a thing # I didn't know you could book one for a bachelorette's party #and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THE HELL THEY AGREED TO LET US STEER THE DAMN THING #SEVEN MOJITOS IN #SURELY WHAT HAPPENED CANNOT BE OUR RESPONSIBILITY

5 notes

🍄 funguys-and-gals

OK I need help settling a debate at work. SERIOUS VOTES ONLY

NO secret thirst option/see results button, we die like poorly informed geologists

🪨 rocks-stay-on-during-sex follow

OP how do I put this... a peach emoji for the fungi option might have been a tad. ill-conceived

🍄 funguys-and-gals

GET OFF MY POST

52 notes

✈️ airhost-with-the-most

So I took you guys' suggestion and hired a PI to follow my wife and see if she is cheating on me, to see if that is why it feels like our marriage is falling apart or if there is something else that we could actually work on instead.

I did NOT expect said PI to spend approximately 85% of his time monologuing into the air. HELP can I get my money back???

#He just said something about falcons and absinthe #I am working a flight to Phoenix in like an hour I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS

23 notes

previous editions

[pettyprocrastination]

Abby x reader head canons?

I will say may not be the best representation for her character because I've only watched (many) play troughs and not played the game yet cause I no longer have my play station :( but I am absolutely horrendously down bad for her ngl so here we go (also abby is closeted wlw in this sorry guys)

warnings: repressed sapphic feelings, gets a little sexual at the ending but nothing major, jealousy, mostly just fluff here cause im easing myself into her character

I feel like she's not particularly into pda? not anything egregious but she'll have an arm around you is enough, maybe a hand in the back pocket to give you a lil bum squeeze but even that's pushing it. She doesn't want to be obnoxious like *those* couples (she does actually) but she wants people to know your hers.

connecting to this I feel like she gets jealous pretty easily. Not from a place of seeing you as property but from her own insecurities and worrying that you'll find somebody "better" which means sometimes she'll give a snide little comment when you've been hanging out with somebody else that makes you pull back and go "excuse me?" often leading to her either talking herself into a corner or going silent and passive aggressive until your able to pull the truth out of her, often times after the anger has fizzled out hours later and she slips into your room with a soft mumbled apology when you tell you that you love her and only her but that doesn't mean she gets to be an asshole to you for it. (she makes it up to you though. all night long in fact)

braid her hair. please braid her hair. It's a small sign of love that makes her go absolutely crazy. The feeling of your nails gently scritching her scalp has her stretching out like a cat in a sunbeam on a lazy sunday afternoon. She'll set her head in your lap while you undo the braid and run your fingers through her soft locks until she slowly drifts off to sleep because she just feels so at peace with you that she's comfortable letting her guard down and falling asleep

even if you have very short hair, you probably end up wearing one of her hair ties on your wrists because she tends to lose them + its a little part of her to keep by your side :') (i will say its interesting that in the show, it seems like ellie keeps her hair tied back with a hairtie that seems to have been cut, so she has to wrap it around and then tie a knot which makes sense because i'd gather that elastic isn't that easy to come across post apocalypse yknow. I think it'd be cute if you like. found a scrunchie or smthn for her that even though its not her style she's still wear it cause its a gift from you :'))

that being said? i imagine after everything she's been through she's a pretty light/paranoid sleeper so if you slip from the bed for any reason be ready to see her padding after you, squinted eyes and grumbling with sleep still in her voice as she mumbles 'where you goin'?' because babygirl woke up without you by her side and it caused her to panic :(

confident in her body. She's worked hard on her physique and she knows you enjoy it, so don't be surprised to see her not-so-subtlety flex if she catches you eyeing her up. You'll roll your eyes at her peacocking but it doesn't stop that lovesick smile from growing on your face that makes her feel all giddy. Bunch of goofballs in love right here <3

idk why but she gives me a bit closeted energy growing up. I feel like she probably got plenty of shit for being a tomboy and she gives me the energy of those girls who are like "women can be masculine and straight you know >:(" but so incredibly gay lmao (knew countless gals like this god bless them all) but yeah she'll huff and puff because just because she's not girly doesn't mean she's gay but also likes it when you sleep in her bed and you guys tell stories and fall asleep in eachothers arms, sometimes she'll stay awake so she can watch how peaceful you are and maybe maybe think about kissing you and how soft your body would feel in her hands and the little noises you'd make and that makes her feel something owen never did. but yknow. she's still super straight

[leggerefiore]

There's a reddit post that gets shared around about this gal who dated a man that was very mellow about their relationship and then when they got married for practical reasons it was like a switch was flipped and he became a very sentimental and romantic man, like he could finally relax and act on his feelings knowing it was real love. I can't even begin to decide between Ingo, Larry, Cyrus, or Colress out of which one is the most like this. Fuck it, maybe Lysandre too?

Probably not Ingo, I think he has a certain romantic aspect and wants to fall in love before getting married. Though, he definitely is marrying his lover as soon as he's certain. Poor guy is too domestic to not show his genuine love and feelings for them. I want to say maybe Emmet, but even Emmet seems like he'd want a cute dating phase before marriage.

Larry, though, I can see 100%. Marries for the tax benefits, ends up falling deeply in love with his partner, and happily giving into domestic bliss. He acts very much like it's a business transaction, saying you probably would not have to deal with him too much since he's so busy with work.

Then, he finds himself softly enjoying the moments at home with his lover. He goes from brooding and serious to soft and calm. Polite, formal greetings agfter work give way to domestic pecks in the cheeks and quick hugs. He even starts eating dinner at home to spend more time with you. Larry feels a bit less cynical about the world in the end, at least when he's being embraced by you.

Cyrus... maybe. I'm biased in wanting him to be close with his lover before he degrades into the state seen in DPPt, but I could see him marrying for the facade. No feelings involved, naturally, as he's convinced he's fully suppressed his spirit. The poor person is just being used to provide a sense of normalcy to him and make him seem less suspicious.

It morphs into you doting on him and genuinely caring for him and accidentally melting his built-up walls. You are in his home, after all. His guard drops in what used to be an isolated space, and you strike his rare vulnerability and make him open up. Cyrus barely allows himself to indulge so with you he drowns in your affection. Soft touches and conversations about him and his struggles lead to a certain bond with you. He's mortified when he realises how much he has come to care for you unintentionally.

Colress... is probably a no-go on that. If he's marrying someone, it's either for his research somehow or because he does genuinely care for them. He's moving around too much to have time to worry about local laws and how they'll affect him lmao. I could see him maybe coming off a bit cold, though.

Maybe you expect him to keep disappearing from whatever region you live in to seek out more valuable data for his research, but he surprisingly comes back more often than you think. Colress probably even excitedly brings you gifts from wherever he's just been, be it a pokemon or souvenir. He surprises you with how much he tries to stay in contact, worried about you getting lonely or Team Plasma harassing you (if you're somewhere they are active). It's obvious he values you as much as his precious research, at least.

Mmm, not Lysandre either, I don't think. He's a passionate guy, after all lmao. With his lover, he's probably attentive and suffocating them in gifts, so it's hard to feel unloved and like he isn't oddly romantic or sentimental. Intimidated, on the other hand...

Nanu, perhaps, is a choice here? I could see him being in a casual relationship with someone and marrying them for whatever reason before realising how deeply he loves them. Old man doesn't shift to being overly affectionate or romantic, but definitely becomes obviously softer towards you and likes having you around him as he does his Kahuna duties or just lazing with his Meowths.

Or Grimsley. Grimsley would date someone casually, marry them to probably dump off his debts on them/because his family was annoying him and pressuring him, and then actually realise he adores having a spouse. He's like goes from essentially being a consistent guy for casual sex to just oddly endeared to you. Random gifts and trips with him because he finds himself enjoying his time with you. It probably bothers him how much he ends up caring for you lmao

[hostdoozy]

A funny detail about Cloak & Swaggart

A common misconception spread around regarding the episode "Cloak & Swaggart" is that Rupert is the theft when in actuality- he's isn't. While Rupert is definitely not above such petty actions like thievery. In this case, he's very much innocent.

-OKAY OKAY PUT YOUR TOMATEOS DOWN! I KNOW HE'S BRITISH! Stop booing at me! BUT YOUR HONOUR! My client is innocent of this specific instance.

(Read more below)

In "Cloak and Swaggart" our favourite Girlboss duo go out partying after Splinter and his boys are off "camping". They are having the time of their lives, simply gals being pals.Yet something disastrous happens on girl's night leading to being the driving force of today's misadventure. Sunita's Brooch is stolen by a mysterious assailant. We know the thief of identity is unknown by judging the shape of their hand.

One could argue that this was an animation decision made by the team to make the twist a little more fun but this makes no sense from a narrative standpoint. Mr Loose Lips can't be the thief because A) look at his hands B) He isn't a Yokai or a mutant- he's never seen dawning a brooch indicating he may have an alternative form. Rupert can't be the thief because The Pigman has an alibi. This alibi is confirmed by Mr loose lips himself.

"Look kid, my clients suspect a certain level of discretion. Yea' think I'm just gonna tell yea that the brooch was bought by some big guy with a thick neck and an upturned nose an' paper hat, on his way to channel 6 ln a late-model charcoal grey stretch limousine?" If Rupert was the theft, then why would he bother showing up to Mr loose lips in the first place? it makes no sense. Even if we were to entertain the idea that this was a commission's work- it still wouldn't make sense. Rupert Swaggert in this regard, is innocent. He had no clue that the brooch belonged to someone else upon buying it. Keep in mind, that the British bastard had never met April or Suntia before this.

This makes the Episode even MORE funnier when you look through his lenses.

He can return to his old career which he suddenly lost due to his mutation. He finally found the means to take back his old life but within ONE DAY- Rupert was harassed by two teenagers, whom he had never met before EVER in his life. (then nearly got eaten by some yanks) From his perspective: He got robbed by some teens- for no reason

Before I close this off. I worry that some folks take away from the post is me shifting the blame onto April and Suntia which... no, I'm not. They're well within their right to take back a family heirloom which belongs to Sunita. besides They're TEENAGERS. Do you think April gonna go over to a known dangerous mutant and be like "Ermm, can we have that brooch back? " OF COURSE NOT. don't be insane. These girls deserve a crown.

What I'm doing is pointing out the hilarity of this scenario. We are all familiar with who Rupert is. He's an oversized porky jackass that has no problem committing extreme acts for his own benefit. We are SO used to his shittiness that putting "stealing from teenage girls" on his list of crimes wouldn't be out of the question. The only thing is... he didn't commit that here. Dude tried to get his old job back only to have some teenager mess with his life again. he never met them and to his knowledge, the Brooch was something he purchased.

So the Verdict?

Rupert is innocent in regards to Suntia's stolen brooch

As for everything else? all his other crimes? Guilty. Put this man away your honour.

case closed

[beanibon]

Hi!!!! Hope this isn't too uncomfortable but could you write Vash catching his s/o trying to make themself throw up due to body image issues? It's totally OK if you reject, take care of urself first and always.

I'm going to be completely honest and even I little forward sharing this, but as someone with an ED myself I couldn't be more thankful to be able to bring this to life. There aren't enough fics that I've seen at least of these topics, and I'd be glad to write thus for you Anon 💜

Please take care yourself 💜

TW: throwing up, body dysmorphia, potential mentions of EDs (eating disorders).

Drool pooled around your fingers, the tips reaching your uvula as you felt your throat tighten and gag at the intrusive appendages. Bile, bitter and acidic could be tasted at the back of your throat, but it wasn't enough to make you fully vomit.

You lent over the bowl of the motel's toilet, regretting how you gorged yourself at dinner with the group. To be fair, you didn't actually realise the portion was going to be massive, otherwise you would've swapped it for something much smaller. Then perhaps you wouldn't be in this situation.

A quiet knock on the door had you tense, cursing as you noticed the door was unlocked.

"Y/N? You in there?" Vash called, concerned etched within every syllable.

Guilt made you nauseous, finding you were gagging more due to it rather than the fingers shoved down your throat. You didn't mean to worry Vash, running off to your room the moment the group arrived back, but you couldn't justify eating that much. It was too much, yet you still ate it all.

"Hey, can you open the door? I'm worried about you, the food didn't make you sick did it?" You swore Vash didn't know the definition of privacy, for all you know the blonde would've walked in anyways even if you were properly using the bathroom. Without so much as a warning.

"I'm fine! How did you even get in my room?"

"...that's unimportant." You were going to kill him.

Opting to ignore the intrusive Gunman outside your door, returning your mind to urgency of purging your genuinely enjoyable meal. That was until the door slid open, revealing that familiar, adorable face you knew all too well.

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, Vash shocked and stepping forward until his giant form was towering over your hunched body. He watched the way you quickly flushed your previous purging, slamming the lid of the toilet shut in shame.

Before long, two arms wrapped around you, encasing you in a tight, but comforting hug. Vash buried his nose into your hair, those long legs on either side.

"You shouldn't be doing something so harmful like this, you're perfect the way you are." Those words had your heart aching, eyes watering as you hid your face, shaking it to deny Vash's words. The only response was the sound of a quiet sigh, then a brief chuckle. "You can deny it all you want, but I'm a pretty lucky guy ya know? Got good taste to pick out such a beautiful woman, a real good lookin gal!"

No matter how hard you tried you couldn't stop the giggle that echoed off the bathroom walls, peeking up your boyfriend fondly. The way his eyes sparkled in unabashed delight at getting your attention was cute, arms pulling you closer as he nuzzled into you.

"I'm really lucky, and I mean it Y/N. Please, you don't need to do this anymore, no matter what I'll never judge you, you're perfect to me." A lingering kiss was placed atop your head, the sensation leaving a warmth you could never forget.

Exhaling tiredly you slowly nodded, leaning into Vash's warm embrace. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask, healing can take a while, but that's why I'm here Mayfly. To support you through all this." Another kiss, and you melted into that loving warmth.

Maybe you were the lucky one, being blessed with such a sweet boyfriend to kiss away the pain, to be patient through your darkest time. Either way, Vash was beyond perfect and you were forever thankful.

[iiboronii]

Ok so the aforementioned OC universe is known as IDPS, short for Interdimentional Pizza Shop (and Mercenary Work)! There is literal YEARS worth of lore and ideas put into this thing I love it so much :D

This version of Artic is the one in my pfp, and who the oc: artic tag refers to lol- Basically she's embodiment of the season of winter, a huge dragon enthusiast, and the much-needed voice of reason!!

She's not a "true" skeleton per se, like she's not undead, she's just kinda in the shape of one- Though she can disconnect and reattach her bones like a cartoon ouo

She has ice powers, but not in a "shooting ice beams out of your hands" kinda way, it's very contact based!

She can freeze things by touching them, she can make a layer of ice under her feet to sliiide around super fast, and sometimes she physically freezes up under stress so you have to wait for her to thaw out akjfds

She can pick up your drink and little ice cubes form in it, in whatever shape she wants! And when she cries the tears freeze up so there's just little bits of ice on her face you gotta wipe off

In IDPS there are these things called essences, which are the super concentrated (and super illegal) form of a concept, usually in liquid form like a potion. Like if you poured a drop of Essence of Princess onto an apple, it would turn all sparkly and have a big bow on it!

Artic just naturally has the Essence of Winter in her bones instead of blood or marrow! So she doesn't have to worry about vampires bc they'd just get a really bad brainfreeze lol

She mainly fights with dual blades made of ice, inspired by Monster Hunter's dual blades! She's a very strategic and speedy fighter, her movements almost dancelike in combat, and she likes to use the terrain to her advantage!

And since this is a multiverse story, she actually goes through the story mode of Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate, saving a village from a giant sea monster! The gal who gives out quests in that game, Aisha, is like an older sister to her hehe ouo

So Artic is a licensed monster hunter, and she is absolutely FASCINATED with these creatures and how they work. And after some shenanigans in her childhood town in the mountains, she even starts her own sanctuary to educate people and care for dragons that wouldn't make it in the wild!

Here she's shipped with Ink Sans, and they live together with her dragon pet / companion Blizzard ouo!

It's this really sweet little story about Ink showing this really anxious and sheltered girl the world, seeing all the potential and life in her eyes and wanting to see her blossom.

And there's a scene where Ink is trying to hide his condition (basically he's undead and needs to drink magic paints in order to feel and regulate emotions), bc so many people have left him after finding out. But Artic doesn't mind at all, after all it's still him and she likes him for who he is ouo

The two are basically opposites, but they work well together and they're just silly little guys in love ouo

Artic's main arc is about identity and archetypes. Like how winter is often portrayed as this harbinger of death that needs to be driven away, but Artic is really soft and sweet-

She wants so desperately to be a hero, but the archetypal hero is confident and charming and brave and super strong; everything she thinks she isn't. But in reality, she's the most heroic of her peers because of her kindness!

There's a whole theme of knights and dragons and legends, realizing that those notions of what she should or shouldn't be don't define her, because people are more complex and nuanced than that ouo

THIS IS SO COOL OUGHHHH I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

My FAVORITE part is that there's literal years of lore built into this thing. Clearly it has been crafted with nothing but love and care in mind and I think that's beautiful.

I didn't even realize that was Artic in your pfp?? That's so cute I love it so so much :DD (Is there a high definition version I can look at? I wanna see her clearer!)

ARTIC'S POWERS ARE SO NEAT IN THIS!!!! I want heart shaped ice cubes that's actually so cute. And the way her abilities affect the way she experiences stress and cries? Chef's kiss. Do her ice powers affect her whenever she experiences other intense emotions? And also can the thawing out process be helped by blankets and stuff or does she just stay frozen? Oooh or does she just continuously keep refreezing bc of the stress? Like trying to thaw her out helps a little but not for long and not much? SORRY I'M JUST SO CURIOUS I REALLY LIKE THE CONCEPT OF HER POWERS AFFECT HER BASED ON EMOTIONS THAT'S SO FREAKING COOL-

And essences!!!!!! Oughhh I really like the concept (pun intended)!!!!! Is there an essence for every concept or just certain ones? And vampires getting brainfreeze LMFAO. Can you drink an essence or does that turn your organs into the concept? And is Artic the only person with an essence in her bones or do other people have it?

THE COMBAT YES OMFG I CAN SEE IT SO CLEARLY,,, STRATEGIC AND SPEEDY AND DANCELIKE I LOVE IT!!! She's so intelligent using the terrain!!! I can see her in my head looking around, eyes darting quickly to survey the area as she narrowly avoids an attack before making her next move!! Effortlessly she slashes her opponent when they're not looking due to her adaptability and quick thinking.

And I'm so sorry I don't know anything about Monster Hunter whatsoever </3 BUT I DID SOME RESEARCH FOR YOU OFC AND IT LOOKS LIKE SM FUN???? I didn't get much of the story aspect of it but it seems great omg. Anyways Artic's curiosity is always something I love seeing!! I can see her killing this giant sea monster (Lagiacrus, I presume?) and then being like "wait a moment- I know this thing was terrorizing you all but I want a closer look at it-" AND FOUND FAMILY MY BELOVED OUGHHH ARTIC AND AISHA <333 THAT'S SO CUTE,,, and the sanctuary <33. Artic is so caring it's so sweet!! It's completely refected in her character and everything she does, I think. Not just in IDPS but across the board! Like. She saves this village from a sea monster and she wants dragons to be taken care of because she's just like that natrually. And even in like Buttermilk Daydreams she just wants to take care of The Onceler as best as she can!!!! And in the Biggering AU even though she's MAD at this man she's STILL telling him that they'll figure something out (they always do). Sorry I'm literally IN LOVE with the threads that stitch your AUs together I got so sidetracked LMFAO-

But anyways Artic and Ink Sans being opposites is SO GOOD AAAAAA- Artic feels so deeply and Ink doesn't feel at all without the paints. Artic has been sheltered and Ink has seen too much. And there's Artic's sweet and caring side coming out again!! Ink is afraid to tell Artic about his condition, but Artic could care less.

ARTIC SELF DISCOVERY YES YES YES YES YES!!!! SHE DOESN'T NEED TO GIVE INTO THE STEREOTYPES!!!!!! She's not winter even though she has its essence flowing within her. She's a hero even though she doesn't look like it. And her kindness being the thing that makes her most heroic?? I'M IN LOVE. This is what I was talking about earlier!!!! She's just so caring and sweet!!! It's something she uses to her advantage!!!!

[voiddemon]

SHADOW KIRBY IS SO COOL AND SWAG POST

hey guys gals and gamer pals. shadow kirby is so swag and cool. Originally a very minor character from Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, with only a small handful of appearances after that, there isn't a lot of information about him out there. And a lot of information about him is very contradictory (especially involving his appearance). However we have a small handful of concrete information which shouldn't be ignored. And I have kindly compiled a lot of it here.

to preface i'm making this post entirely because i see plenty of headcanons that directly go against canon information (often by people who just use him as an extension of DMK and don't care to look into him) but i will avoid my bias and just state everything I can find in the Game Canon. I will not include information from the various Mangas/light novels, as that is it's own separate canon and every iteration of him is drastically different (From what I've seen. Also a lot of it tends to contradict game canon.)

KIRBY AND THE AMAZING MIRROR:

Despite being his debut game, Shadow Kirby isn't very present within KATAM. He only appears in one room in some of the mirror world's areas. Specifically in in Rainbow Route, Mustard Mountain, Carrot Castle, Peppermint Palace, and Candy Constellation. If you return to these areas later, he will appear there again.

While he does technically attack Kirby, he doesn't really try and goes away on his own if you don't kill him. (Interestingly, likely due to sprite limitations, Shadow Kirby doesn't have any hat to represent the copy ability he has.)

In KATAM he can be swallowed to gain the copy ability he has, and he drops either an invincibility candy or 1UP when defeated. However he shows up again regardless of any of that.

During the final fight against Dark Mind, if Kirby loses the master sword, Shadow Kirby will appear to throw it back to him. He can also toss him a 1UP during the fight. While nothing explicitly states that Shadow Kirby is a good guy at the end of the game, in the final cutscene it does say that Shadow Kirby will keep the mirror world safe.

"But they remain on guard… After all, who knows when another evil might arise? Don't worry, though… Mirror-world Kirby will be there to keep them all safe!"

interestingly while in the cutscene Shadow Kirby is referred to as 'Mirror-world Kirby', if you attack him the game says he is Shadow Kirby. I'm assuming this was done due to his lack of appearances in the game and to keep people who forgot about him from getting confused.

The most this game shows of Shadow Kirby interacting with Dark Meta Knight is him following after Dark Meta Knight through a door. There is no pause screen information directly characterizing him either, everything has to be assumed.

KIRBY TRIPLE DELUXE:

ok this is a short section.

Shadow Kirby is the final opponent in Kirby Fighters and is fought in another dimension. When he's defeated, unlike Dark Meta Knight and Shadow Dedede who shatter into glass shards, he floats into the air and 'disperses' instead of shattering. Notably, unlike in KATAM, he does wear a hat when using a copy ability. In a fucking miiverse post, Mr.Kumazaki stated: "In the version of the game in Kirby: Triple Deluxe, we wanted to emphasize that your worst enemy is yourself, so the final boss was a Shadow Kirby that had the same copy ability as you." Which is STRANGE WORDING but :shrugs:. Importantly, while he looks weird and different here, he is still called Shadow Kirby. We'll talk about how KF2 confirms this later. While none of the above is explicitly canon, it's still important to note. He also briefly appears in the front row of the Kirby Master video, which you get when you 100% the game.

While Shadow Dedede makes his first appearance in the game, the two characters interact, and have no interactions in the future.

KIRBY STAR ALLIES:

Shadow Kirby makes a brief appearance in Kirby Star Allies. In one graphic with DMK in Heroes in Another Dimension, and in the background of the Jambastion. He flies up close but distant from Kirby, and then flies off.

Originally, Shadow Kirby was planned to be a Star Ally. However a 'One character per main series title' rule was implemented, and Dark Meta Knight was chosen to be in the game over Shadow Kirby.

Also Zan swore at him on twitter.com canonically but it wasn't for any reason specific to him really.

KIRBY FIGHTERS 2:

Shadow Kirby appears again in this, and for once we have actual text about him. What a novelty!

In the Story Mode he appears three times, and has a stage exclusive to him which uses Taranza's theme. Importantly, every single boss before is always with a buddy. Kirby himself always also has a buddy (whether that be himself or someone else).

However Shadow Kirby, unlike everyone else, fights entirely alone. In the single-handed mode he also fights alone.

Due to Shadow Kirby not being able to mimic some characters exactly (Gooey, BWD, Magolor, etc) he copies the next best thing. (Whip, Staff, and Beam)

He has the same strange color palette seen in Kirby Triple Deluxe, however it is explicitly stated to be Shadow Kirby, and that he is from the mirror world, in the flavor text.

Here is all of the flavor text. Pre-battle tips:

Story mode, first fight: Shadow Kirby Appears "A naughty shadow has appeared. You suspect it was born from the mirror version of Kirby's innocent soul!"

Story mode, second fight: Another Shadow Encounter "Once again, you cross paths with the one who lurks in Kirby's shade! Send that naughty shadow packing!"

Story mode, third fight: Max Power Shadow Kirby"A third encounter with Kirby's shadow?! Its power is off the charts, but you can still win with your buddy's help!"

Single-Handed battle mode (regardless of difficulty): Kirby's Shadow "This naughty shadow can appear anywhere, anytime. After a long absence, it has shown up again to join the battle tournament!"

Pause Descriptions:

Story mode, first fight: "This naughty shadow was said to have been born from the mirror reflecting Kirby's innocently pure soul. He has all the power of the real Kirby and uses his mirror-copying technique to thwart you!"

Story mode, second fight: "Kirby's shadow is back for more! This stubby gray ball seems to think he's pulling a little prank, but he's way too powerful for that!"

Story mode, third fight: "The mightiest Shadow Kirby yet is back for another round! His devastating power suggests he is a guardian of the Mirror World, found far beyond the sky."

Single-Handed battle mode (regardless of difficulty): "Like Kirby's own shade, Shadow Kirby appears out of nowhere and vanishes again. This naughty shadow rejoins the battle after a long absence! Difficult though it may be, you must defeat this copycat!"

Vague random information:

In most of the artwork he appears in, Shadow Kirby takes on his Triple Deluxe/KF2 appearance, and is floating or flying on his warp star with a parasol. He is in the background of all of these pictures.

In his main plush, he is made out of tweed and has a basic Kirby face. (Blue eyes, red open mouth). This is the only time his eyes are shown as blue. In the smaller keychain plushes, he has light gray eyes and his mouth is closed. In the rest of the art for his merchandise, he is shaded with a light purple.

Between Kirby Triple Deluxe and KF2, the weird 'nebula' design was made to be less purple.

In a Dedede Directory showing off some of KF2, pictures of Shadow Kirby in every game he's appeared in are shown together. Further confirming these are all the same person. A translation of this directory is as follows: "Kirby! You again... hm? Oh, this is "Shadow Kirby"! This guy's a resident of the Mirror Land who appeared in Amazing Mirror - he loves to play pranks and is always running around when he shows up. He can use Copy Abilities, and in the new game Kirby Fighters 2, he'll challenge Kirby with the same ability as him! Well, too bad! The one to defeat him will be me!"

In KF2, Shadow Kirby will also copy the exact kind of hat Kirby is wearing. (Since some hats have customizable options). In multiple games (Squeak Squad, Kirby Fighters Deluxe, and Dream buffet) you can change Kirby's appearance to look like Shadow Kirby.

ok i said i wouldn't bring up the manga but I will bring up the one light novel I read. In the KF2 light novel Shadow Kirby gives Kirby a hat to fight him, and doesn't speak. This somewhat contradicts with some of his pause descriptions. Also, he is not invited to fight in the buddy tower, he just shows up and Meta Knight/King Dedede are surprised when he does.

ABSOLUTE CANON:

Here is the very controversial section on what is absolutely canon about Shadow Kirby. All of this is based on what I’ve said within this post, and you can confirm it all on Wikirby or the fandom Wiki.

He is not explicitly good or evil, but wants to protect the Mirror World from threats. Making him the guardian of the mirror world.

He is a prankster, and is described as naughty.

He is inactive in KATAM and KSA for unknown reasons.

He willingly enters the battle tournament in KF2, and (according to the narrator) seems to view his fight with Kirby and his buddy as a prank.

He has "All the power of the real Kirby."

The Shadow Kirby in KF2, KATAM, Star Allies, and Triple Deluxe are all the same person.

so in conclusion: shadow kirby peace and love. Also don’t trust Wikirby or the fandom wiki entirely for him since whoever wrote the original stuff was biased and injected some of their own interpretations into stuff while stating it as canon.

[ukddmanips3]

That's right Mike. This is where you sit now. Outside your old office. Outside my office. Thanks for that strong recommendation to the board before your immediate resignation to go do missionary work in Africa by the way hehe.

This is how you look and dress now. Like a bubbly dumb bimbo office girl. Always in heels. Makeup always on point. That feminising reconstruction around the face was money well spent.

As you clearly cannot be trusted not to look at sissy porn at work, your monitor isn't wired in to anything. You'll mostly be in 'relations' anyway. I'm not going to explain your job to you because I like you off balance, all confused and uncertain, and waiting to be told what to do. I know you hate that, but you'll get used to it.

Mike Murphy. Youngest VP in company history and industry legend. The guy you want in the room. The man with his finger on the pulse of everything. The guy who knows every process, every system, and works every hour. The guy who was always beating me to the punch. Always you, never me. Driving growth! Efficiency! Sustainability! Productivity! Blah blah blah. Now a task managed bimbo fuckdoll flicking through copies of Vague magazine, anxious to please your boss by any means necessary. Beautiful.

You'll take lunch in my office everyday. You'll be having the salad with the cream of mycock dressing. Anal poundcake for desert. You're going to pretend to enjoy it. Don't worry about motivation, my finger is going to be hovering over the Send button on the company wide email exposing your dirty little secret the whole time. What was it you always used to say? "No comfort in the learning zone, no learning in the comfort zone"? Well, honey, you're about to learn to love being used like a fuckdoll, and until you do it won't be comfortable. Let's see that positive mental attitude, m'kay?

The girls on the floor will despise and gossip about you honey but ah... you're not really like the other girls anyway are you "Mia"?

I'd really lean into that new persona if I were you. The more distance you put between who you are now and who you used to be the better, if you're serious about not getting found out.

Lets get your 'new starter' picture then. No no not like that. Little off the shoulder action for me, arch your back and push those falsies out, cross those legs and aaaaattagirl.

I'll get someone to get you on the system "Mia O'Mya". I'll look forward to your induction as a newbie back into the company you basically built and to you being given the tour so eeeeeveryone can get a good look at you. I'm going to leave it a week or two to give you your pass though. Just dumb ditzy Mia always forgetting her pass and having to sweet talk security to let her through. Everyone else would get written up for repeat offending but somehow I think the boys won't get around to that if you simper and smile and show enough of your legs.

Now, be a doll and fetch me a coffee from the place on the corner. Go there, ask for Joe and say its for Mr J. You don't need money Mia, honey. Joe likes glossy pink lips and doe eyes so, I'm sure a creative gal with a can-do attitude like you will figure something out.

Be back here by 11 or I send that little email. Am I understood @youknowmedotve?

[beach-him-off-until-he-kens]

what are your favorite sexy scenarios with your Ryan F/Os?

Oh what a fun question 👀!!! Thank you for asking!!!!

♡ Officer K being very grabby while making out on his couch in his apartment, mainly when I'm wearing a midi knee-length skirt. I LOVE thinking about this man's hands bunching the material of my skirt, glittery fabric spilling between his fingers as he's pulling and tugging. Feeling the petticoat adding extra layers of volume/texture and it just makes him wanna bunch it in his hands even more, clawing at it when we start getting really into it. Him pulling me onto his lap, leaving the skirt on while he undoes the buttons on his pants, and we just do it right then and there on that uncomfortable ass couch with his face buried in the crook of my neck, groaning like a starved dog.

♡ Driver being SO fucking horny out of his mind. When I drop into his dimension and it's been too long he just does his usual prolonged eye contact but with More Intensity silently saying let's get out of here. He gets us alone somewhere and it doesn't matter where, we're gonna fuck. Shannon's Garage after hours. His '73 Chevy Malibu (malibuuuu). The LA River. On top of the hood of some old race car he's fixing up. His living room floor. The shower. The kitchen counter. Oh, and I guess the bed works too... it's almost like a sleeping predator jolts awake within him and he just has to pounce immediately

♡ Sometimes when I leave Driver's dimension, he thinks I might not come back. He tries not to worry, but the fear is always in the back of his mind. Sometimes he's worried that I'll have another nightmare about him and I'll be too scared of him and I won't visit his dimension anymore. I tell him I'm fine now and I've never felt better and I haven't had any nightmares about him in a long time, but he still gets anxious. So any time we fuck, if the position allows it, he's hugging me. Arms wrapped around me and he tries to make me feel as secure and safe as possible. One hand cradling the back of my head, thrusting at a quick but steady pace that wouldn't hurt me but his little groans and little huffs sound almost heartbreaking when he hugs me tighter and tighter. Like I'll disappear if he lets go. I think about that a lot ;u; it's comforting to think about being hugged during sex and especially if it's with him

♡ Driver masturbating to the thought of me in his car -- I have doodled variations of this one hundred thousand times and I'll do it one hundred thousand more!!!! Sitting in the driver's seat, putting on some Charlie Puth songs on the radio (that dude has some horny asf lyrics and in interviews he's said he wants his music to sound fuckable in the most literal sense so I think it's perfect lol) reclining his seat back and going to town. I like thinking about him putting on "Smells Like Me" bc the lyrics seem fitting for us. He's missing me while I'm in Ken's dimension but he isn't worried bc I'm the one wearing Driver's scorpion bomber jacket. I could be getting action from any other guy or gal but I've got Driver's scent on me as long as I'm wearing his jacket and he likes that little sense of ownership over me, a bit of possessiveness... not in an extreme way but he just feels such an overprotective urge to make sure a part of himself is always with me. I DUNNO I don't care if that's in character or not, it makes me feel really good hehehe////

♡ Wait god I need to bring up K again..... I know it's a little out of character but I love daydreaming about him being sooo comfortable with me as our relationship progresses. You know how in canon, he comes home from retiring replicants, nearly getting killed, and he roleplays with Joi that he is just a simple human man who is coming home from a 9 to 5 shift at the office? He'd do that with me; he can come home from a long day and find me waiting for him on his bed - I'm wearing a skirt with a petticoat underneath bc I know he'll enjoy the texture of the folds between his fingers as he slides the fabric up my legs. Him doing the little "tsk tsk" click of the tongue while shaking his head, leaning over me with his hand snaking between my thighs, saying "oh, you poor thing, you've been soaking wet for me all day, haven't you?" and suddenly his stress of the day is gone. He forgets the dried blood on his face, the bruises on his neck, the stab wound in his shoulder. He crawls into bed and guides my hand, sliding my palm down his pants, tilting his head... "you feel that, sweetheart? feel what you do to me? I couldn't concentrate on my reports today, all I thought about was you..."

♡ That opening Bangkok party scene in The Gray Man, except put my self insert in there wearing a red dress to match Six's red suit, with white flowers and stars to match Dani's flowered suit. I know Dani isn't a Ryan F/O but I wanna think about her pulling me away into a private corner of an empty room and eating me out. Same with Suzanne oh my god please I need that woman to eat me out so BAD PLEASE ughhhhh. okay okay this was a Ryan F/O question... I'm sorry. I got Keri'd away

♡ The opening Bangkok party scene in The Gray Man and YES it makes NO SENSE for Six to be horny enough to need to pull me into the closet to fuck me, and that miraculously there wouldn't be cameras or mics in any of the rooms, but hear me out: you can do whatever you want forever and nothing in life matters. I'm working on a fic where mayhaps, against all odds, the Lord has given this horny desperate gentleman seven minutes where absolutely nothing bad will happen to him; he sees me in that red dress and he's like "Jesus CHRIST I missed my glittery wife. Baby please get over here." I have been in other dimensions for what, two weeks, maybe even two months, and this man has not only missed me so fucking bad, but he is starvinggg. He pulls me into a storage closet and we don't have time to Properly Fuck™ but I wanna give him a handjob just to give him some relief. His hands shaky while undressing me just a little bit so he can touch me wherever he wants, his head buried into my shoulder while he's groaning as quietly as he can. I think about this all the damn time and I really wish I had the time/energy to draw it. Maybe someday.

♡ Dean kissing me while straddling me on his bed, then slowly backing up and sliding his palms under my mini skirt, being very gentle and making eye contact with me the whole time he's slipping off my underwear, checking that I'm okay. Going really slow when he puts his head between my thighs, the whole time our song is playing in the background. Yes this is just me 100% self projecting over Cindy but that is exactly what canon love interests are for !!! and I like to think about him reaching out one of his hands and intertwining our fingers while he's eating me out 🥺🥺

♡ Ken eating me out and laughing into my thigh every so often. Licking his lips and saying "sweet girl..." giving that nickname a whole new meaning. I also think the image of him being completely oblivious to giving me an orgasm during our first time after eating me out and he's like "wow you're so yummy 😋 I want some more" while I'm gasping for air and shivering and saying HOLD ON GIVE ME A SECOND. Same goes for when I give Barbie her first orgasm after she becomes human and I'm just sitting there like "damn was my head really that good 😳"

♡ Sebastian not even bothering to undress, just unzipping his pants and bending me over the piano (consensually ofc) bc he's so pent up after a long night. Or sharing that tiny tiny tiny bed together in his little apartment, snuggling... we're both too pent up to sleep, and one of us starts grinding against the other and it just escalates... while he's wearing that tight white t-shirt and then his hair gets messier bc he's so lost in the moment.... yeah

♡ Laughing with Jacob during sex to the point where he's snorting and I'm wheezing and we have to stop for a few minutes. You know that cute couple thing where you pretend you're meeting for the first time, like, one of you pretends to be flirting with the other in a public space? And then you "go home together"? I think it's so funny to think about doing that with him. So we're at a bar, he's doing his thing, does the whole "let's get out of here" line, drives me home, we start going at it -- but I make a joke about something and he's losing it. He fires back and I have to cover my face and laugh. Out of every Ryan F/O, I like thinking about him saying "hey girl" just to make me laugh. He doesn't know the meme, he doesn't get it, but one time I asked him to say it and it made me laugh. and he's like "I don't understand what's so funny" but that doesn't stop him from saying it at the perfect moments. He's undressing me on his bed and it's all slow and sensual ooo and aaa... and after some sexy prolonged eye contact he mutters "hey girl" and I start losing it, and then he starts losing it because I'm losing it. and then he snorts and it makes me laugh even harder and then he's laughing harder. This may not necessarily be a "sexy" scenario but I really do love tender stuff like that in intimate settings... loving knowing my romantic partner is also my best friend.

♡ Luke is intimidating and he knows he looks scary but he tries to be rly gentle. He's slow and when I'm nervous he whispers reassurances until I relax. He's my guardian angel, he's my bodyguard, he wants me to feel safe with him. This isn't a "sexy" scenario I guess but I do think about this a lot, him just being very careful with me despite his outer appearance making him look like he'd be very rough. And maybe he would be! But with me he knows he's gotta go slow. and he's okay with that.

♡ COLT SPEAKING FRENCH Colt speaking French Colt speaking FRENCH Colt speaking French THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME in my ear while his arms are wrapped tight around me hugging me close. I have no fucking clue what he's saying to me but it sure sounds sexy. He could just be saying "omelette du fromage" lmao. but jokes aside maybe he'd say something like "my beautiful falling star" in French or 🥺🥺 something like that... and I think about being super careful with him bc of his back injury and double checking that he's okay all the time too. This man suffers from chronic back pain and he appreciates I am looking out for him and making sure he isn't hurt in any sort of position we're in. also did I say COLT SPEAKING FRENCH. Wearing a collar for me too maybe... with "therapy dog" on the tag... maybe he'd like being tied up too I dunno....................

♡ With Julian I don't have any "sexy" scenarios but goddd I sure do find myself thinking about having really, really, really gentle slow sex with him... I'm a top 99% of the time, but I wouldn't mind allowing him to have full and complete control, so he feels safer. He's straddling me while we're drowning in those neon red lights. His hands shake a little too much to undress me at first so I gotta hold them until he's calmer. Him kissing my neck and hearing his soft, short breaths in my ear when he's inside me. He's a SA victim too, so he'd understand that I prefer going slow, and tbh maybe he'd also prefer that ;v; I think he could still be rough if he wanted to, but he just. he gets it. he knows why I'm so scared and hesitant, so he's gonna be so, so careful. I'm precious to him, he wants me to know that, wants me to know he doesn't want to hurt me. would rather cut off his own hands than ever lay a hand on me. wants me to know that, to feel that, when we're making love. I'm gonna start openly weeping over him for the 100th time today let's move along

♡ I've written having a threesome with Driver and Six where they both try to make me feel as comfortable and safe as possible. Regarding the nightmare thing, Driver gets emotional and a little sniffly when he hides his face into my tummy and says "I don't want to hurt you" and I tell him "I know." Six isn't as vocal about his fear of me getting too scared of him either but he definitely feels it and it shows through how careful he is when we're being intimate to the point where he almost treats me like porcelain. More of an angst scenario than a sexy scenario BUT LISTEN. I LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT and my ace ass finds emotion so much sexier than anything else.

♡ Speaking of emotion. Ken getting weepy and sniffly while I'm riding him for the first time (just pretend he has a dick for my sake ok) bc he's never felt so loved before and especially not in a sensual way. Cradling his face in my hands and kissing his tears away while he hugs me and when we finish we just sit there for a while and hold each other until he calms down. Maybe I'd get weepy too bc it would be my first time feeling safe in a rly rly long time

♡ Actual sexy scenario: Stephen fucking me hard in his office, me laying on my back on his desk, his face between my legs drinking his fill until he stands up and places his hands on my hips, pounding me -- no no listen I KNOW his office walls are see-through but let's just pretend that he has some... other... office somewhere with normal walls.

♡ I think about pulling Steven's hair sometimes...... or him sitting up in his bed, his back resting against the headboard, me in his lap, while he fingers me and whispers in my ear, kisses my neck.

♡ OH I FORGOT WEREWOLF DRIVER I need him to fuck me so lovingly in a forest somewhere please god. or werewolf colt I don't care who just please god I need a werewolf to fuck me tenderly while we're surrounded by wildflowers. I'll pretend bugs and dirt don't bother me. Getting fucked by werewolf Driver WHILE wearing his JACKET. OOGH. god. can someone please teach me how to draw werewolves so I can draw some good ol fashioned monsterfucking

Thank you for letting me ramble 🥰🥰🥰

[eisforeidolon]

Question: So if you guys could go back to sitting there reading the very first script for the show we're all here for, and you were in the room with yourselves, what would you say to yourselves?

Jared: [emphatic] Don't do it! Kidding, kidding, kidding.

Jensen: W-what would, like, the me now say to the me then? Uhhh. Well, I would say, don't worry you're gonna play Dean. [Jared laughs] Because originally they were only reading for Sams. They were for auditioning for the role of Sam first.

Jared: Obviously someone was really fucking great at that and you had no chance. [laughs, slaps Jensen's arm]

Jensen: Thankfully. Yeah, so I - there's somewhere out there in the ether is my audition tape for Sam. And I never did come back and read for Dean, they just immediately brought me to the final, the final test audition. Which is where I met him and that was the first time I'd ever read Dean.

Jared: But you had been like -

Jensen: Yeah, I'd went in and when I met with Kripke and -

Jared: And that, for those who don't know? That's not uncommon for movies or tv shows and the like. Is sometimes they just make everybody audition for one character to go like, okay, this person could be a great Crowley, this person could be a great Castiel, this person could play Dean, but you all read the same thing. They want to see the way you kinda react. So it wasn't like he lost the role of Sam. That's just what they do. I think every role I've ever gotten, it was like they were auditioning - here are your audition scenes. Everyone got the same thing.

Jensen: There were a lot of roles that I never - that wasn't like, that was kind of a product of reading for something else. Like my role on another little show I did just prior to - I think Tom Welling was the lead. I was - it came down to he and I for that role, and he ended up getting it. And then a few years later they just called me up and said, hey, we've been looking for a way to bring you on, we really wanted to work with you, we really wanted you on the show. And they created that role and just had me - just gave it to me. So a lot of those, that happens, where you go and you read for something and then you end up getting another role. And that happened with Dean. So that's what I would say, I would say to my younger self reading that for the first time who was reading it thinking that Sam was the one that I would - that I would be fighting for? I'd just be like, hey, don't worry, it's gonna be Dean. [Jared laughs] Because when I did get the audition, I read for Sam and I was like, listen, can I just - when you guys read for Dean? I'd love a shot at that. And Kripke and Nutter just looked at each other like -

Jared: We already know.

Jensen: We got you. So I dunno. That's maybe one thing I'd say. What would you say?

Jared: I think - amen to that - and I think that dovetails into kinda what I would say, which is more than about the show specifically? About talking to two guys or gals or whatever in their 20s, like starting their life? I don't think there's any such thing as [finger quotes] starting your life or going like I'm gonna do this so that one day I can live this life I want. Like, life is happening now. Like, this is life, y'know, that's what I've learned through friendships and other relationships. If you just sit down and beat yourself up for years and years going once I get this, then I'll have a life. And then I'll do what I want to do. Like, life is happening now. You're living life now, so I wish I could tell - because a lot of 20 year old Jared was upset. Like [affected voice] this isn't what I thought I wanted to - I don't even know where Vancouver is, you know?

Jensen: Well, you, I think, you've even talked about this, we've had discussions about it. But he, you know, he was just coming off of Gilmore Girls, he was early 20s, and he had a really good setup going in LA. I mean, he had a solid girlfriend, he had a lot of good friends -

Jared: Dogs.

Jensen: He had dogs, he had a really good house. He was really kind of set up. And when the show started, like he said, we moved up to Vancouver.

Jared: Well - did you tell the story about shooting the pilot in the village - or in the valley rather? And then going - the show gets picked up, we go to the Upfronts in New York, we go to Nobu -

Jensen: We filmed the pilot in LA, thinking we were gonna then, when the show - if it went, we would film in LA.

Jared: Which was like 5-10 minutes from where we both lived.

Jensen: And he could just continue this great setup that he had in LA.

Jared: Months pass, so we shoot in February and March, get picked up in May, go to New York to announce the show was picked up, and then we get brought out to a dinner with all the bosses at the time. And they're like, okay, Jared, Jensen, Kripke, congratulations, have a great time in Vancouver. And we're sitting there like ... what? And we found out after the show was picked up, after we did all the interviews about doing the show, that we were filming in Canada. So that was a big, like, pull the rug out kinda thing. It ended up being amazing and, y'know, I think it was a phenomenal place, and obviously I think the show worked out? We're all here to talk about it, so things happen for a reason. But yeah, it caught me off guard. I got by with a little help from my friend [hits Jensen's shoulder]. So here we are.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hi Hello I am having such a crisis and have literally no clue who else to talk to so here I am! (Side-Note before I actually start: your blog is very very cool and has been such a great help to since I figured out I was aspec)

So basically I figured out I was ace a few years ago (I’m a minor btw) and then about a year later that I was aro. I have been pretty stable in my identity since and am out to my close friends (and mom but only the ace part), even rejected one of said close friends because of just that (which was really difficult because I really really really like him and did not do not want to hurt him but like I just can’t see myself having a romantic relationship with him, or anyone for that matter, at all). Anyway I met this girl at school yesterday (we only started talking today though), we’ll call her Marie for simplicity’s sake, and she’s really pretty and nice and funny and soo cool. I’m pretty sure she flirted with me and it actually felt good (all other instances of flirting by guys and gals alike have felt sooo weird ngl) yet I stellt felt that strange disconnect feeling I always get when someone flirts w me just like, quieter? I’ll probably only see her tomorrow and then not again for a long time (or maybe even forever) if I don’t actively reach out to her (she gave me her number btw) and I’d really like to be friends… now, thing is I think I have a crush???? Maybe??? I dunno???? I think I would like to be with her in theory but as soon as I imagine myself kissing Marie or even holding hands I get a cringing uncomfortable sensation… On top of that I don’t even know if she likes girls, so I might not even have a shot at all. And even if I were crushing on Marie and she liked girls and liked me I dunno if I would be able to have a relationship with because a) I suck at communicating b) I’m a nervous wreck that just randomly ghosts people for weeks on end despite wanting to text them and c) I think the guilt towards the friend who confessed to me would kill me

I’m sorry if I bothered you w this but I really needed someone to talk to and maybe you might even have some words of advice

So the number one thing to remember is that you don't have to have everything figured out right away. Based on this alone, a lot of things are possible, and things will be more clear as you gather more experiences and things progress in general. Right now it does sound like you're still repulsed at the idea of doing romantic things with Marie, it's impossible to say if that may change in the future or not unless you personally have a strong feeling about it.

Could it be a crush? Maybe? It is possible to get crushes but not want to act on them, or be too repulsed to act on them. Or to experience romantic attraction but not the full range or romantic desire to go with it. It's also possible to experience other types of attraction that isn't romantic or sexual, but if you're not aware they exist it can be easy to mistake them (squishes for example is a type of platonic crush where you want to be close or important to the person you're attracted to, and can feel a lot like a romantic crush except that it doesn't feel romantic at all).

I get where you may feel like you're on a deadline because you may not see Marie again after today, it's up to you if you want to try and stay in contact, but if you have the capacity to experience these feelings with one person, it's likely you will again (or if you don't, it's a hiccup and you don't have to worry about it). So whatever choices you make, you will figure things out eventually.

Try not to feel guilty if you want to explore your feelings here even though you turned your friend down. It hurts to reject people, but it's always the right choice if you don't feel like you can reciprocate how they want, and it's the kindest choice in the long run. But that doesn't bar you from exploring your feelings or even trying a relationship at some point in the future if you ever end up wanting to, you will still have done the right thing turning down someone you didn't feel right entering a relationship with. These things are complicated.

Hopefully this is helpful, but if you want to dig into something more or have more questions, feel free to send in another ask.

All the best!

[rosetheex-editor]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The transcript begins from a bedroom floor, someone can be heard hammering nails into something. Before propping the phone up to show a metal torso, with one arm. And a lady sitting on the floor. The woman doesn't speak but a voice is heard in the background.]

?: Rose? How long have you been up?

[Voice identified: Henry.]

[The other person responds with something out of frame, causing Henry to gasp.]

H: ROSE YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT? YOU SHOULD HAVE ISN'T PR COMING OVER TODAY?

[A sharp knock can be heard, along with giggling.]

[The other person speaks pointing at the metal torso. Her voice sounding like it was put through a cheese grater.]

R: h- hide buddy…

H: Yep.

[Rose grabs the phone and slowly gets up, grabbing two crutches before moving to the door.]

R: o- ow… my throat…

[Rose opens the door slowly.]

[Behind the door stands a group of women. All smiling. Ness is there with the leader, who happens to also be the tallest.]

?: OMG! Hey girl!

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

R: tall…

?: Yeah… she's very tall and a lesbian… Brain why?

[Voice identified: Ness.]

R: n- nobody in… pr is straight.

O: Damn straight! I mean. Um. Damn gay!

[Ophelia giggles, the volume of her voice increasing. Seemingly by accident.]

O: So! May I come in?

?: Before you do, can I just say, Rose. Your voice sounds like shit.

[Voice identified: Eden.]

O: Eden! Be nice!

R: hi… evely-

[Rose cuts herself off, Ness looking worried by the second.]

R: eden.

Ed: Yeah. Thanks for getting it right this time.

[Eden clacks her teeth together, showing off the fangs that had sunk into Rose’s arm just over a month ago.]

R: t- that reminds me…

[Rose lifts her arm into frame, slowly removing the bandages and showing the scar to the PR members and Ness.]

R: s- still alive bitch

?: Woah! Eden, you can just. Give scars like that now? Awesome!

[Voice registered, awaiting name…]

Ed: Oh, shut up, Becky!

[Name registered: Becky.]

Be: Fine! We’ll be talking about this later though. That’s cool as fuck!

R: not so… c- cool when you’re in a hospital bed… f- for almost a month.

Ed: I’d do it again in a heartbeat, dicknips.

R: a- and i'd be happy to bash… y- your fuckin head in bitchlips.

O: Okay, I totally love mixing swears together as much as the next gal, but we have a few things to work out, don’t we?

R: eden… isn't coming in.

Ne: Rose just.

R: Eden. i- isn't. coming. i- in.

Ed: I didn’t want to, anyway. Lived here for weeks, I’ve seen enough.

[Before anyone can delay her entry any longer, Ophelia steps in, grabbing Ness and Becky, pulling them in after her. Her grip on Ness’ arm is tighter than her grip on Becky’s hand.]

Ne: OW! Ophelia my arm-

O: So! Where’s Adam? I’ve been so curious about him since I heard about the little guy!

R: d- don't know. nice dress tho-

[Rose is cut off by Henry screaming and a cat meowing.]

H: MY TOE!!!!

R: i- ignore him. nice dress ophelia.

O: Aw! Thank you! I actually… Oh, where is my bag! Adelia? Where’s my suitcase?

[A distant voice is heard, presumably Adelia.]

Ad: Right here girl! Sorry, I had some trouble with it.

[A suitcase is rolled into the apartment. Ophelia grabs it and opens it up. Revealing a ton of shopping bags.]

O: I felt bad about taking Ness out of the country without permission. So I got you some things to make up for it!

[Ophelia beams at Rose. Almost eerily. But the rest of her face and tone is friendly.]

R: n- none of this is gonna… spy on me right?

O: Of course not!

R: a- and speaking of ness… i… s- see y'all gave her… a b- bit of a makeover?

O: Yep! She bought that on her own, though. Amazing what a Showfall company card can buy you!

[Rose turns to only face Ness, She has on a long purple dress with red roses, a red bow is placed on her short green hair. as well a fancy necklace is placed around her neck.]

R: y- you good ness?

Ne: Oh yeah! They took care of me, don't worry! Right Ophelia?

O: For sure! Yeah! Ness was a great addition to girls night.

R: d- don't hurt her and… m- maybe if you want she can tag-

[Rose is cut off by another scream, causing her to scream in return.]

R: GIVE ME A MINUTE!

[Rose coughs.]

R: keep her safe… she c- can tag along again i guess… just don't hurt her.

O: Of course, Rose. Why would we ever hurt her?

H: ROSE IT’S ON MY FOOT!

R: give me a minute!

Ne: Wait what's on henry's-

[Rose sets her phone on a counter in a way everyone is visible, before running off.]

Ne: -foot.

O: She’s nice!

[Ophelia elbows Ness, a smug grin on her face.]

Ne: Ow! what was that for!

[Ness laughs, clearly joking.]

O: You’ve gotta shoot your shot, girl!

Ne: WHA- I- UM-

[Ness' face turns a bright red, she hides it in her arms.]

Ne: I… was already gonna do that actually.

O: Well hurry it up, buttercup! You’re going to lose her to some other girl if you don’t act fast!

Ne: I WAS GONNA DO IT TONIGHT-

[Ness cuts herself off before falling to the ground, As soon as that happens A brick comes flying through the window being caught by Ophelia. Attached is a piece of paper.]

[Ophelia stares at it, before showing it to Ness.]

O: Look. Seems like your secret admirer wants to give you a gift.

Ne: 'You won't get the chance, you'll lose your head'? What the fuck?

O: Oh well. Doesn’t matter.

[Ophelia grabs the note and shoves it into her mouth. Swallowing it.]

Ne: God… I really hope y'all find this person… But um yeah… I was gonna give Rose a literal Rose tonight and do this whole thing…

O: Awww! That's so adorbs! Let’s get this wrapped up so you can go do that, eh?

[Rose can be heard sighing.]

R: s- sorry… a project of mine… f- fell on henry's foot.

Ne: IS HE OK???

R: y- yeah… laying with luna right now.

Be: Hate to interrupt. But… Adam? Can we see him?

[A man sneaks far behind the women, fire extinguisher in hand.]

Be: And Leon, you can put the fire extinguisher down.

?: How the fuck?

[Voice identified: Leon.]

Be: Hey! These enhancements aren’t just for show!

[She motions to her mechanical antennae.]

R: ugh… I'll get him. he's not moving though.

O: Wonderful, bring him here.

[Rose slowly walks out of frame, returning after almost a minute with Adam.]

R: h- here… j- just don't hurt him.

[Before Ophelia can take the arm, a robotic voice rings out through the apartment.]

?: CALIBRATION COMPLETE.

[Voice identified: Adam.]

O: Oh?

R: ADAM?

A: VIRUS WIPED. POWERING ON.

[The arm whirs into motion. Moving each individual part one at a time. Before turning to face Ophelia.]

R: ADAM OH MY GOD YOUR BAC-

[Rose's voice stops as she enters a coughing fit, coughing blood visible on her bottom lip.]

A: You.

O: Hm?

[Adam lunges at Ophelia, wrapping himself around her neck. She yelps in surprise.]

R: a- adam no! stop!

[Ness tries to remove Adam only to fail.]

R: ADAM GET OFF!

[Rose coughs some more.]

Ne: ADAM ROSE IS HURT! GET SOME WATER!

[Ophelia laughs, seemingly unaffected by Adam’s attack. Until he curls the tips of his fingers inwards, and she stops laughing. Instead grabbing for the base of the prosthetic.]

R: DON'T HURT HI-

[Rose coughs even more.]

Ne: Adam now!

[Ophelia yanks the arm off of her neck, red now dripping from a few spots down onto her dress, she pouts a little, and holds Adam away from her.]

R: d- DON'T YOU DAR-

[Rose makes a noise that barely sounds human, Ness turns pale and starts screaming at the people in the room.]

Ne: I'LL GET THE FIRST AID KIT ONE OF Y'ALL JUST GET HER SOME WATER!

[Ness runs out of the room.]

O: Now, what was that for?

A: You know. Bitch.

R: a- adam… what are you talking about…

A: PR. Virus.

[Ophelia rolls her eyes. And stares at Adam, smiling slightly.]

O: You’re upset about that? Jeez, dude! Way to hold a fuckin’ grudge!

R: adam. bat.

[Rose slowly stands up, using her hand to wipe the blood from her mouth.]

O: Don’t.

R: w- what's stopping me?

A: Me. Sit. I need to. Converse.

R: f- fine…

A: Thank you.

O: I feel a little goofy holding you up like this. Can I put you down or are you going to attack me again?

A: Please place me down.

O: Alright.

[The arm is set down, Ophelia tilts xer head at him.]

A: Why.

O: Why what?

A: Why put the virus. In there.

O: Buddy, I don’t know the reasoning, I’m not the one who did it.

A: Caused me to hurt. People. Immensely. Why would you do that.

O: I’m trying to think like Cass, here. A distraction? But from what? Hm. Yeah, I have no clue.

R: j- just a guess… m- maybe from… eden

O: Maybe. But you don’t have to say her name with such disgust, Rose. That’s mean. She was just doing her job, you know.

R: i… t- trusted her… t- thought of her like m- maybe a sibling… a- and she put me in the… h- hospital for almost a month.

O: That’s on you for doing that, girl. There were tons of people warning you. I remember seeing all of that and sweating bullets, but you just wouldn’t believe them.

R: i… i g- guess i've always… d- done that…

O: Mhm. You need to trust people way less. I learned that the hard way 75 years ago. Anyway. Adam. I have no idea what to tell you, dude.

A: Liar.

O: Hm.

[She leans in, and whispers something that the phone can’t pick up. Her volume lowering to a near silence. Despite being metal, Adam seems to tense up.]

A: I hope you explode.

O: Alright, man. Uh, so… can I get some water? Please? If you wouldn’t mind.

[A friendly smile can be seen plastered on her face, she looks directly at Rose. For just a second too long. And then looks back at her suitcase.]

O: Oh! Right! Gifts! Hold on, I’ll get them out!

[Rose continues coughing, out of frame enough where it isn't visible what's happening. She speaks, her voice now even more messed up.]

R: f- fine. g- get a glass… g- get the tupperware of food… too.

O: Alright!

[Ophelia bends down to rummage through the suitcase with one arm, and the other extends over to the cupboard, which is fairly far away, and out of frame. The tap can be heard turning on. A few moments later, it turns off, and her arm retracts with a glass of water in hand.]

Be: I keep forgetting you can do that. Scares the shit out of me every time.

O: Ha! Yeah, sorry, Becks! Now, where did I put that…

[Ophelia pulls out a few bags. And hands them to Rose, not getting up.]

O: Open it! I made sure to get you something you’d like.

R: g- give me a second…

[Rose seemingly points at something out of frame.]

O: Do you need help cleaning that up? I’m an expert, you know. I’d be happy to clear all of that up for you.

R: w- we have a mop… w- where? uhhhhhh s- shit where did dad… put the mop…

[Ophelia looks at Rose for a few seconds, her expression softening for a small moment, before snapping right back into place. xe gets up and starts looking for the mop.]

R: d- don't worry about it… j- just… i- I'll open the bags…

[Rose opens the bags one by one, pulling out multiple shirts and jackets. Each one looking as if they were taken from the 80s and 90s, many of them having pastel colors. Rose sets them back in the bag before slowly standing up.]

R: t- thanks… i guess…

O: Do you like them? I really hope you do, I’d feel terrible if they weren’t to your liking.

R: i… like them…

[Rose coughs again, this time the blood falling from her mouth is visible. As Ness walks back into frame.]

Ne: Hey adam. Uh Ophelia I got the first aid kit.

O: Thanks!

[Zey extend their arm to Ness, grabbing the first aid kit, and retracting it back. Beginning to bandage her neck.]

O: Today’s visit has been wonderful, thank you for having me over!

Ne: Um… Did anyone get Rose water? Like I asked?

O: I took care of it, don’t worry.

[Rose drops to the floor again, the coughing continuing.]

R: s- son of a BITCH!

Be: Ooooh. That doesn't look good. Does she have tuberculosis? We have a bit of experience with that. Remember when Cass had it? That wasn’t fun.

Ne: No um… I actually don't know…

R: n- none of your business… j- just know s- showfall t- tried and f- failed… t- to get me back…

O: Hm. Ness, keep an eye on her, not like you haven’t been, but… yeah.

Ne: I mean… It probably doesn't help that she screamed bloody murder for god knows how long… When Edgar… Y'know and um…

O: We should get going, but before we do, I have another thing for you guys!

[Xe takes another bag out, and places it on the counter, closing her suitcase. Before rummaging around and grabbing a tupperware container. She takes a step towards the door.]

Ne: What's that?

O: We forgot you didn’t have your ears pierced… so we got these. They’re real diamonds, by the way. So don’t lose them!

Ne: Huh?

Be: Ophelia, you can tell them upfront!

O: But that’s no fun!

Be: Ugh. We got you diamond earrings, but we forgot you don’t have your ears pierced. So we had to get you the necklace.

Ne: Oh um…

[Rose can be heard seemingly talking to herself.]

R: m- mai… y- you really couldn't wire anything right… i said that outloud…

O: That’s a little deeper than I want to go today! There’s a few more pieces of jewelry in there, too. Just as a fun treat. Some of that stuff is from my own jewelry box!

Ne: Oh um… Thanks!

O: Only the best for our very own honorary PR member! Now, we should really get going, have fun, you two!

[With that, the PR members finally leave the apartment, their giggling can be heard retreating down the hall, along with a few giddy shrieks. Possibly from gossip. They finally fade. Leon stands up straight, having been crouched in the corner for the whole visit.]

Le: ‘Honorary PR member’? Ness. You have some explaining to do.

Ne: I know I know! Right now can one of y'all get Rose her medicine while I find the mop?

Le: Alright. [Aside.] Coast is clear! Y’all can come out now!

[Leon goes to rummage through some cabinets while Liam and Katherine emerge from a room.]

R: h- hi… m- mom… l- liam…

?: Hey, I heard the commotion from in there, are you okay?

[Voice identified: Katherine.]

[Liam waves, but says nothing.]

R: B- besides the blood… and whatever e- else… y- yeah… j- just wish that wasn't one of the side effects from… y'know the night that task m- manager tried to get me back…

K: I know, you’re going to be fine, though. You’re going to have some medicine, and maybe a bit of rest. Alright?

R: a- alright… i w- was… working on buddy all n- night so…

Ne: [Distant.] Who the fuck is "Buddy"?

R: r- robot me and henry a- are… w- working on for sparrow…

[Katherine walks over and picks up Adam.]

K: You’ve caused a lot of panic in this apartment, you know.

A: Do not. Focus on me. Other issues. All software and hardware is in perfect condition.

Le: Found it!

[Leon walks back into frame and hands something to Rose.]

R: t- thanks…

[Rose takes something out of the bottle, presumably medicine.]

R: s- soda?

Le: Won’t the carbonation hurt your throat?

R: d- damnit… kool-aid?

Le: Yeah, of course. I can do that.

[Leon walks back out of frame. Just as Liam walks over with a piece of paper.]

R: 'I’m g- glad the blond one wasn’t here. b- but I don’t like that any of them were in here in the first place… t- they killed my dad. I d- don’t like them'… i k- know liam… i k- know…

Ne: [Distant.] Sorry about all of that by the way…

[Without saying anything, Liam hugs Rose. Then retreats back into his room.]

R: i… feel so b- bad for l- liam… g- god…

Le: Yeah. He’s just a kid. He hasn’t even graduated… high school– FUCK WAIT. HE HASN’T BEEN GOING TO SCHOOL.

R: o- oh… fuck…

Le: LIAM. PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE HOMESCHOOLED OR SOMETHING. PLEASE TELL ME WE HAVEN’T MADE YOU MISS MONTHS OF SCHOOL.

[Liam’s hand pokes out of the room in a thumbs down.]

Le: FUCK! SHIT! WE NEED TO–

K: Leon, calm. It’ll be fine.

R: i n- never got… t- to graduate… a- and i turned out f- fine.

[Liam pokes his head out, a neutral expression on his face. He goes back in and then returns with another note. A linear equation written out on it. He hands it to Rose.]

R: s- seven times five… equals fifteen… um… um…

Le: Rose.

R: Um… x equals… um…

[Liam grabs the paper, and writes something down on it. Showing it to Rose.]

R: I WOULD’VE GOTTEN IT!

[Rose coughs again.]

R: ow.

[Liam shakes his head, then walks over to Leon, the two of them having a conversation via Liam’s paper. It fades into the background.]

[Ness runs in with the mop and a bucket.]

Ne: Katherine I'm really sorry about PR coming in I swear on m-

[Ness cuts herself off.]

Ne: On Mari's mother. I didn’t mean for any of that!

K: It’s fine. We’re just mad that you let them take you to the fucking Bahamas without even CHECKING IN FIRST.

Ne: In my defense. Alcohol blood loss and 5 hours of sleep do NOT mix well.

K: The hell even happened on that trip?

Ne: Apparently I sang 'Copacabana' on top of a table… Uh I don't remember much else.

K: I’m going to guess we’ll get a detailed description from one of them on that blog.

Ne: Yeah probably… Um…

[Ness shows Katherine her hand, missing ring finger and all.]

Ne: That happened.

[Katherine shrieks, grabbing Ness’ arm and inspecting it.]

K: What the fuck did they do? Was this during the trip? Is it infected?

Ne: Me and Eden got in a fight in the park. I'll explain if you ask. No. And also no.

Le: Oh yeah! There was a transcript!

[Katherine turns to where Leon’s voice was heard from, a look of disbelief on her face.]

K: This is why you shouldn’t confiscate my phone, LEON. I would’ve liked to know about that!

Le: Sorry!

Ne: I did more damage to her than she did to me… Stabbed her with a spear and almost broke her nose.

K: Your finger is missing! We– hold on, what's in that bag on the counter? Have you opened it yet?

Ne: No? But Ophelia said it was filled with jewelry.

K: I… we should open it, I think.

[She grabs the bag and opens it after walking back over to Ness. She yelps, and nearly drops the whole thing. Shoving the bag into Ness’ hands.]

Ne: What?

[Ness looks in the bag and slowly turns her head.]

Ne: Oh… There’s my finger…

Le: Guess it’s not missing, then! Sorry.

K: Of course they’d do that.

[A loud metal crash coming from one of the rooms, followed by a cat meowing.]

H: [Distant.] Buddy fell again!

Ne: WE'RE BUSY!

K: HENRY GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE. NESS IS MISSING A FINGER.

H: BUDDY FELL ON MY FOOT I CAN'T WALK!

K: IT CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING HEAVY, CAN IT?

R: t- torso is like… a foot tall i think? and made of three inch thick metal… s- so yes it can.

K: Henry, you’re weak as fuck. You can walk. Don’t make me drag you out here.

[Henry walks into frame with a limp, His hair is messed up and his eyes are red.]

H: What?

K: Ness is missing a fucking finger!

H: Oh god damnit… Ness what school jock did you piss off this time?

Ne: I DIDN'T PISS OFF A JOCK THIS TIME! EDEN BIT IT OFF! Damn you get into one-

[Henry cuts Ness off with a cough.]

H: You went to the school nurse almost every day FOR A WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR! fighting the school football team. It was more than one.

Le: I had a friend like that back in the 80s!

K: Who?

Le: … Do I really need to say.

R: d- dad?

Le: Yeah, it was always something with that guy. One time he broke a water fountain after tripping into it. They gave him ice and he was back in class within 30 minutes.

Ne: Sounds like edgar. Anyway this is nothing! One time one of the members of the school football team hit me so hard into a locker, Like three of my ribs cracked!

K: Ness you’re missing a finger.

Ne: I still have nine more!

K: God, you guys are impossible! Since you won’t take your injury seriously, let’s change the damn topic before I bite one of them off. What day did you say those tickets were for?

Ne: The 28th? O H S H I T-

R: i- I'll get changed… e- end the transcript. wait… that's not the command…

Le: Wh– did you have one going on PURPOSE?

R: n- nope. i just know it's recording… b- because when the fuck is it not?

A: On. it.

[Adam skitters up to the phone.]

A: Goodbye chat.

[Transcript end.]