#don't worry folks I have extra lmao

[gotham-daydreams]

Basically chapter 3 and our time with dick in a nutshell lol. (And in meme language)

Sorry if the fanart look rather off or any of the like, i was sleep deprived when i was making it haha, next time when i make another fanart I'll make sure to make it extra special :)

(this is my interpretation of reader temporarily, since i was confused on the hair, but anyways yeah! Enjoy the fanart that i made aswell as the meme attached to it lol!!)

OMG YES I LOVE IT HAHA!!!!! (and I will be keeping the other one you sent in my inbox forever)

It looks amazing, I love it! Even your interpretation of the reader!

Honestly the meme fits the chapter so well (especially the end part/part 2) that I feel like I don't even have to say anything LMAO

Also, don't worry about the effort or quality! Any fanart is special enough to me, especially when I'm just here sharing stories that I love and enjoy writing with you folks!

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[casdeans-pie]

Hi! First off, love your fics. They brighten my day. and your latte art is cool too.

Secondly, I've seen that you've gone to a few cons and I was curious what tips you'd give a baby con-goer who's going to their first spn con in a month? Also, what should I bring to have signed for an auto?

This might be a weird ask but I don't know who else to ask for con tips lol.

Hi Anon! Thanks so much !! ❤️ happy you're enjoying the stories! I have like a bazillion wips buzzing around my brain at all times so there will be plenty more!

And I genuinely wish I could pass you all supernatural themed coffees through my phone honestly lmaooo

Oooh!! First spn con! That's exciting because my first one wasn't objectively 'the best' but to. this. day it remains my favourite. It's so special to me. It'll be so so good you'll love it. The vibe at these kinds of cons is unmatched because spn fans are literally the friendliest people out there

Nothing quite like the bonds spn fans forge in The Queues. One big tip I'd give is to strike up a conversation with the folks around you - ask what they're getting signed or what poses they're doing - boom! Queue Friends.

Get all of your QR codes or tickets ready in the order you're gonna need them, so there's no panicking when you go for autos or photos. And definitely get a hard folder to put your autographed prints/photo ops in.

Don't forget a bottle of water! And lots of snacks!! And a portable charger/battery pack for your phone!! Mine dies in like a few hours so the extra power is a must.

Enjoy the very special vibe - soak up the atmosphere! There's just, a crazy amount of joy and hype at these things and if I could find a way to bottle it I would

As for stuff to get signed - it depends if you want a print of a character or not, cause usually they have those available at the signing itself on a desk nearby. So you wouldn't have to worry about taking anything. And the character prints always look rad with the signature on. OR you could get a dvd signed? Some artwork? Spn book? Some obscure merch you found? (my favourite kind)

Anyway I've rambled long enough lmao sorry anon you asked me a simple question and I have shot off into the stratosphere of long winded replies

It's not a weird question at all! The funny thing is that when you've done more (because there's always more spn cons) you'll look back on your first like, ah I didn't know what I was letting myself in for..... Addiction is such a negative word, but I'm struggling to think of another.... lmaoooo

Have an amazing time!!!

[monstersinthecosmos]

i love you asexuality in the VC post! i feel like i don't see people talk about the ace aspect of those books often, even though that was something that really spoke to me so much when i first read them (tbh it also makes me a little burned out to see some adaptations focus so much on the sex too because part of me is like. but i /liked/ the asexuality of it all! that wasn't a bug it was a feature!!)

I can’t always tell why we don’t talk about it more often; sometimes it feels like it’s so obvious that it goes unsaid, and other times I think ace folks in fandom are just so shy to bring it up because historically people have been such rancid cunts about it? I’m not sure.

But again and again, every time I make asexual VC posts, I get so many people commenting, tagging, DM’ing, inboxing to thank me or tell me they feel seen, and that’s what we need more of! 

It’s hard because like, I understand why visual adaptations feel the need to show it visibly, especially because I think it’s easy to forget that asexuality is already so heavily misunderstood/underdiscussed IN the queer community itself, and when we see this bullshit on TUMBLR of all places it tells me that even inside the queer echo chamber we are struggling for visibility. So I don’t expect mainstream audiences and ~ regular people ~ to understand it at all. I also fully respect the politics behind SHOWING SEX and being loud about it. I think that’s very much needed in the current political climate.

There’s a discussion to be had about non-sexual intimacy and split attraction models though; for example, we could also visually communicate with kissing and casual intimacy, touching, cuddling, etc, and the nature of TV and using sex to sell means that it’s not enough. And when you see an adaptation on a network that can’t use graphic sex anyway, it winds up being a lot of telling and not showing, so by that point I wonder why they can’t just be more casually intimate. 

It goes back to the misunderstanding in the books, too, like, the non-sexual romance and intimacy, even the vampire-sensual intimacy isn’t subtext. Not fucking doesn’t make the queerness subtext. It just means they’re not fucking, and I think when fans insist otherwise we’re getting into “all queer people are obsessed with sex” rhetoric that’s extremely problematic, and if you’re keeping score it’s the current talking point of the right to try to erase our existence in public. But the way this gets weaponized within fandom (on both sides) is just so fucking tired lmao. 

The whole conversation can be a huge bummer and I have interacted with tons of ace folks in this fandom over the years and everyone felt the same way about the canon asexuality and appreciated it and felt seen, etc. Especially older fans who didn’t know what asexuality was and likely felt alienated or were made to feel broken. So I just would love if people could discuss it without punching down at ace people and taking away like, the one fucking thing we had lol, and it would also be great if defensive ace folks didn’t overcorrect and try to center sexlessness as a moralizing tool, because it isn’t. I think when we start weaponizing and trying to arm ourselves by turning orientation into ethics we’re losing the plot. I think sometimes allos punch back and get defensive because they think we’re saying they’re gross for wanting to see sex or whatever and that’s not really the point. 

Personally, I read the books young enough that I always felt very supported by them, like I experienced the same confusion and worry about being broken but also the books were such a source of comfort because I was like, oh I just appreciate people the way vampires do.

Anyway it also provides so much rich extra context and framing for some of the characters and their intentions and can inform so much more meta. Like, examining themes of rape (vampire/biting rape vs literal rape) there’s so much to unpack about intention and desire when vampires see humans as food, when pleasure is about thirst and feeding and survival and nourishment and not only about sexual gratification. It just adds a whole other layer to discuss and I think that enhances the stories a lot. And like I said earlier, I understand that reducing it to “asexuality” as a human construct might seem as reductive as reducing it strictly to sex, but I hope one day people can build their cases against it without being so dismissive of ace people because it’s really recognizable and prominent in the text.

[were-candy-gutz]

I don't talk specifics of my wereness often but I'm feeling talkative so i suppose yeah, here's some random stuff about my lycanthropy!

I'm technically a cynanthrope since I'm a wolfdog but I'm mostly wolf so I usually just say lycanthrope. My physical appearance when shifted is almost wholly wolf

I don't know what caused it for me. A lot of folks I speak to think it's genetic for them but it genuinely seems like it came from nowhere to me, unless it's like a recessive trait or something. My family is ironically from the Romanian area as well, so I suppose it could be genetic but no one else shows signs so it might not be, especially considering I was experimented on as a kid (this is a traumatic thing to talk about and has a lot to do with RAMCOA so please don't ask!)

I crave protein constantly. And I'm diagnosed with a lot of random sensitivities to foods, which I correlate to my lycanthropy. Not sure they are related, but it makes sense in my mind that the reason I can't eat chocolate or tomatoes is that I'm a dog lmao. It's not just those two, though, and I can eat some things canines can't, so I'm not sure

My shifted form varies a lot. The most basic form is fully wolf, but I've shifted to a lot of stages in between, from just growing a bit of extra hair to being almost wolf but with human ish features. I'm not sure what causes the differences but I do think part of it is related to the moon cycle and my emotions

That being said, my emotions mess with my shifting a lot. It's more difficult to hold in shifts when I'm emotional, and I also experience shifts in emotionally charged settings, which can be an issue but hasn't caused me a problem yet

The moon cycle does effect my shifting. I shift on all full moons and they become harder to control the closer to a full moon it gets. Intentionally shifting also gets harder the closer to a new moon it gets.

Lastly, I am often aware it's a delusion. Not a lot of folks understand the concept of double bookkeeping, but like, I'm aware that my reality is real, I am a werewolf, but that to others, my reality is fake. I know it sounds weird but it's just how my head is I guess. When I'm deep in my delusion though, usually during depressive episodes, I struggle a lot to experience this. However, I try to hide my werewolf-ness when I'm in that state of mind because I'm worried about how folks will react, so I don't usually talk about it when I'm deep in it I suppose

Also a few notes! I call myself a Candydog and stuff but no, I am not actually made of candy or candygore. I just really really like candygore and identify with it on a non-physical level. I also sometimes say I am robotic. This is a delusion as well that comes and goes with my depressive episodes. I also sometimes mention being dead or call myself a corpse wolf. This is not delusion related, though at one point I believed it to be. This is rather related to my plurality and my trauma, but since I can recognize I'm not actually dead, I don't consider it a delusion anymore. So essentially, my identity is fluid and nuanced and strange because I am a creature, so I have a personality and lived experiences that influence my identity. That's all! Fuck off if you plan on talking shit on my post or if you plan on telling me I'm not a were creature! I know myself, sorry! You can talk to me or express confusion or ask questions IF YOU REMAIN RESPECTFUL but please don't be mean! It's easier to be nice or scroll on than it is to be an ass :3

[lexart-io]

do you have any tips for captioning images for lora training? especially since you said some of your first loras were use using images with a certain vibe, did you still caption them or were you letting sd play in the space for lack of a better term? thanks for your help :D

maaan i had a whole ass paragraph about captions that i deleted in my last explanatory post because i was worried it was too much extra text on a topic that might not matter to the reader. 😅

for sake of clarity, here are some tips in a nice numerical list format (apologies for another wall of text lmao):

do not use an auto-tagger. auto-captioning (like BLIP) adds too many unnecessary or incorrect tags, which will only confuse the training and negatively impact your model (unless you go through and manually remove/correct everything image by image).

use an alpha-numeric trigger word. you want a trigger word that hopefully does not already exist within the model. for example, if your dog is named George Washington and you train a model on photos of him with the trigger word "GeorgeWashington", there is a strong likelihood that your final model will render images of the former US president instead of your dog. using a trigger word like "G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n" will prevent that and would only render images of your dog.

caption your images with simple tags, which are delimited by commas. some folks type out whole sentences describing the image, but in my experience that only confuses the training. keep your tags simple, descriptive, and formatted as "subject, context, tags" (ex: "G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n, sitting, tongue out, full body, green grass").

everything you tag will be considered NOT part of the subject in which you are training. if your dog is wearing a hat in most/all of the photos and you don't specify that it's wearing a hat in the tags, then every image rendered by the model will have your dog wearing a hat. by including a tag like "wearing hat", the hat is now considered a separate thing from your dog. when rendering images, prompting "G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n" will render your dog and prompting "G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n, wearing hat" will render your dog wearing the hat.

everything you do NOT tag is considered part of the subject in which you are training. "G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n" represents everything in the training dataset that you did not tag. so the ai identifies the hat, the pose, the background grass, and considers everything else in the photo (aka the dog sitting there) to be G3org3Wa5h1ngt0n. this is why i don't tag things like "dog" or the color of its fur, because then you kinda run the risk of those things not being implicit to the subject (pro-tip: sometimes you that's a good thing for weird experimental purposes).

based on tips #4 and #5, sometimes it is actually best to only tag a trigger word and nothing else. with those example dataset images from my previous post, there really isn't much to describe. i trained it with ONLY a trigger word and let the stable diffusion training process decide what fundamental similarities / patterns existed within the dataset. this is nice when you know there is a shared vibe between images that you cannot quite put into descriptive words... let machine learning take of it. some of my early droid base models were trained with no tags too, which actually worked fine for the most part. but one downside was that they could basically only render droids, even if my prompt tried using the trigger with other subjects. whereas my latest droid models are fully captioned and so i can still use them to render non-droid subjects that still feature similarities to my droids (like those cityscape images i've been posting, which are all actually rendered using my droid model, and likewise all of the spaceships i was posting awhile back).

hopefully my rambling makes sense haha. let me know if you need clarification on anything! 🙏

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

❤️👻🚀🎁 pls <3

THANK YOU PROPH BB :'3c <3

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

kdjlkdj WOOF this is highlighting my vanity, i get so jack rabbit-y when i write good lines. this is from 'hot in sarajevo' with a few extra bits for context.

[König is segmented; you’ve known that for as long as you’ve known him.] Don’t know if he did it to himself, or if it was an after-affect of all the bad shit he didn’t die from. ... His worst days are lost dogs and veils of blood floating through his mouth.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

this is a really good question bc i'm veering between deciding if this means wildest as in craziest/absurdist, or most violently unexpected, and i don't really do the craziest/absurdist variety i don't think?

actually i'm going to go with the former bc i mentioned this in the chat a while ago, but i grew really like attached to the idea, so my wildest headcanon is that soap was raised in a cult. and aw FUCK i went and did some googling and i'm getting into it and devloping it more. yeah, soap was raised in an anti-technology anti-modernism religious cult with intense calvinist principles he's still trying to shake off. bing bang boom.

🚀 Do you like to outline your fic first or create as you go?

it depends!! :D three of my planned long-form fics are pretty intensely outlined bc they require it for dates and plot points, and i like having the outline to work off of as i write so i'm not bungling shit lmao. most everything else i'm flying by the seat of my pants or referencing vague notes i've written down for scenes i want to include. it is INCREDIBLY sloppy and frankenstein-y a process skjfdf.

🎁 Have a piece of a WIP you want to share?

YES. i always want to share a ton of my WIPs but i don't want to spoil surprises [lays down facing the wall and screams]. this is from 'sacramental dance of serpents,' which is a ghost x reader (secretly it's just stallard, my oc) semi-southern gothic au? it's kind of just trying to pin down vibes for the bigger project and put out a nice reader oneshot for folks who like spooky shit.

“You’d die alone if you had an emergency out here,” is the first thing he says to you as he pulls himself out of the car.  He’s not wearing the skull or the balaclava. Looks like any other man, a little extra chewed up. Hair that holds no color, stubble that’s a shade darker. Green bruises sit under his eyes like bouts of insomnia clinging to their lovers.  You don’t take the time to study, even if you don’t feel like you’re particularly stealing anything from him, but you don’t flinch and you feel that he is handsome, in the way an undertaker could be—austere, full of hard angles, exhaustion.  His eyes are even blacker surrounded by the pallor of his bare skin. “Not any different from work,” you return, dropping your hands on your hips when he staunchly will not give you either his backpack or rifle case, shaking his head. Can tell by the set of his eyes it’s not worry of thievery or mishandling making him haul his own baggage, being a little bit of a rude guest. Forced to guess, you’d say maybe he’s got a little bit of backwards in him—maybe a lady ought to not carry the things of a man when the man is capable.

thank you proph, i hope you like the snippet dskljds <3 <3

[full-metal-femme]

Heyo! Do you have recommendations for your hair spikes that would work on thick hair thats difficult to braid down to the bottom without it getting really choppy?

I braid my hair in two like yours and have been considering buying for a bit, but my hair is really uncooperative lmao

Hey! Thank you for your question :)

Depending on how thick your hair is / how far down you can braid it, the longer spikes would probably be best - more room for a longer tail :)

I recently mare a custom set for a client with mega thick hair, I'll add a vid for example, so really I can work to whatever suits you :) well, that is if you're not worried about the spikes being pretty big - some folks like to keep them small as possible but sometimes that's not feasible.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask! And if you'd like to consult on some customs (I don't charge extra for customisation, just on the time/materials it takes to make them) hmu too :)

[rollforjackass]

i'm gonna go ahead and answer all the questions from this fic writer ask game here, because. why not! i'm bored and i'm not used to talking about my own writing. gotta cut the cord on that shame game sometime.

(and if y'all wanna answer some yourself, the post is linked above! absolute guarantee i will send some if you do bc i'm nosy like that)

💘 - Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

oh god yes, a lot of them. i've got chronic perfectionism.

if i were to be kind to myself and narrow it down to one, my poor little Person of Interest fic deadman's switch was my first venture into the fandom i would come to adore, and it could definitely do with some tuning up. with a few rare exceptions, i've never liked post-episode fics that just recap the events of the episode with a few extra sentences of meta thrown in the mix, and unfortunately, i think that's exactly what i did with this fic. i don't think it deserves a complete do-over, but a re-work with a new direction and a concrete destination would do it good.

💫 - what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

any and every, but the ones where people share their favorite quotes and tell me what it made them think of and expound on their personal theories and thoughts, AGH!!!! i adore those!!!! go off about all the things you love about the characters and your scenarios for missing scenes, i promise you i am enjoying it immensely!!!!!

🌈 - is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i mean, by default i feel like i'm a bit of a tryhard with my writing and i feel like that's fairly obvious a lot of the time (for better or for worse 😬). but i guess the one that's outwardly the most relaxed bit of writing and was actually really difficult was the burning question, because. how the hell am i supposed to translate a groupchat format into a fic and keep all the nuances of technology, i.e. nickname changes & people sending walls of text, that are meant to be funny??????

it took me Forever to settle on formatting that i felt maintained the spirit of the jokes, and there's so many folks that think groupchat fics are cringe that i don't think anyone would consider how much effort i had to put into it for a now quite outdated joke lmao. i love groupchat fics myself, though, so i am content with the cringe.

🦋 - what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

always always ALWAYS characterization. i have the fandom attention span of a mayfly and the combination pizza hut/taco bell that is ADHD/autism to boot, so i pick up strong attachments to characters/media quickly and write my feelings almost as fast as i feel them. which means lots of one-offs that are barely two seasons into a series/one movie into a trilogy. i'm always worried that i'm missing the mark by a mile because i was too impatient to reach a Big Backstory Reveal, or that i've latched onto a single trait not indicative of the whole.

🌻 - what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

what makes me want to give up: the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. i used to be super confident in putting myself out there, but i haven't always had support for my special interests and i've rarely had anyone willing to read my writing when asked. makes it hard to enjoy what i'm doing when i've got that annoying little earworm asking me what people would think if they ever eventually read it, even when it's a self-indulgent little thing that i don't plan on posting.

what makes me keep going: i love writing, plain and simple. i love to borrow people's habits, their thoughts, their dreams and hopes and fears and nightmares; i love to see the world from new perspectives. and the idea that what i have to say might connect with people, that people might recognize parts of the characters and stories that they care for in my writing, is pretty damn intoxicating, too.

🌿 - how does creating make you feel?

there's a book series i loved as a kid called The Secrets of Droon, which is about three kids who discover a staircase to another world in their basement, and writing has always felt like that to me. i open the door, and i am somewhere else. these other worlds don't need me to be there for events to unfold, but i can still try to change the things that i don't like if i wanted to. and nobody needs to know that i've been to these worlds, but if i mentioned 'hey i've been to another world', someone somewhere might be interested in what i saw.

idk if that makes sense shdjk but i just!! i like writing. i like seeing what would happen if i changed something. and it feels amazing when something i care about deeply connects with people i don't even know, and who don't know me. it's scary to venture into other worlds, but there's always the chance of finding yourself - and finding new friends - down that magic staircase!!

🍉 - in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

whoof, i mean. how hasn't it.

i had a very difficult upbringing that left me absurdly angry with the world and only able to conceive of living as fighting for survival. i wrote stories where i could escape and be free, and i wrote stories where the fight was all there was so i could feel less alone. hell, my first favorite character on tumblr was gabriel from supernatural, running away from his family and still loving them even when it hurt, and writing stories where he was happy or angry or sad felt like validating those feelings in myself. i could fix his problems, even if mine weren't that easy.

these days i struggle with a lot that's out of my control, like PTSD with a very hard-to-avoid trigger. but writing is something that i can curate, that i can tailor to a situation. it's completely in my hands. so when i'm going through something, i can always pick up a pen and scribble out the strong feelings in a way that makes sense to me, if not to anyone else, and then i can close that book or tear the page out or burn it, whatever i want to do with it. i can shuffle through the life of a fictional character and find the times when they felt the way i did, and wonder how they got through it, and sometimes in doing so, i find ways that i can, too.

it certainly helps that i've found myself a good number of favorite characters who go through a lot but still remain hopeful. ones who make a place for themselves in the world that is safe and good, who manage to find the best in people even when being shown their worse.

🎀 - give yourself a compliment about your own writing

i like that i'm willing to try my hand at pretty much anything and give it every ounce of passion i've got, no matter how short a time i may have been in a fandom or how different a character might be from the ones i'm used to writing. tech geek with conflicting superiority/inferiority complexes? sure thing. prim and proper angel who's secretly a bitch? give it a whirl. chain-smoking self-sabotaging magician who's a time capsule of the 80s? devoted dad with apeshit anxiety? codependent gay cannibals? fuck it, we ball.

🎈 - describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

mmmm depends on how you define style. i want to say that it's generally all the same, but i do think i change tone A Lot, based on who i'm writing about. partially because i bounce between a lot of british and american shows and i tend to try to adopt the vernacular of the culture the media is based in to make the story more immersive, but also based on the tone and overall themes of the piece, i.e. who's hurt and who's comforting and what their relationship looks like, if one's more comedic or they both are or neither of them are.

i'm a bit of a metaphor & simile hound, for sure, that part's pretty fixed. i tend to like comparing simple things to grandiose ones, if only because i write 90% hurt/comfort and the things i always remember most about times when i've been hurting are the gestures that the comforter doesn't even remember making later on. i think i have consistent struggles in certain areas and consistent strengths in others. but i almost never want the version of me who wrote for, say, Good Omens, writing for Mission Impossible, because to me those are two wildly different atmospheres with wildly different stakes and baseline truths. if that makes sense? so i do try to switch up my style when i feel like it's appropriate.

🎉 - how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

i don't think i celebrate much at all, per se. it's always more of a relief that i've gotten all of the most pressing ideas out of my head for the moment than it is an accomplishment, i guess? i'll probably start trying to celebrate now, though.

as for credit/validation, i don't really know how to measure that. i'm able to acknowledge that i've sent something out into the world to bear scrutiny, and i'm usually able to like what i've written once it's out there, so i guess i give myself credit that way??

💞 - what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

characters. always the characters. sometimes to the detriment of the rest of the story.

idk, i tend to start stories because something about a character's reactions/choices grabbed my attention, and flesh out a scenario around how those reactions/choices would be seen by others vs how the character would see it themselves, so the character is always at the heart of my storytelling. i'm always thinking about the faces we put on for different people vs the ones we wear when we're alone. i usually find that as long as i follow a character's patterns of behavior, priorities, and methods of self-expression, the story writes itself.

💝 - what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

i don't really have expectations when i post, but the outpouring of love i received for Red Witness was definitely a shocker!! i mean, i'd never even heard of The Mentalist while it was airing from 2008-2015, so i was definitely a latecomer to the fandom, but apparently a lot of folks either rewatched it when the pandemic started or remembered it fondly enough to be excited about me writing for it, so that was a lovely surprise!!

🤍 - what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i mean, one of the things i love about writing for fandom is all the variation in opinions and the different takes on what parts of canon are rock-solid vs which should be different, so i don't think it's possible for people to not "get" a fic. it's just one lens through which a set of events and people can be viewed.

that said, i suppose waiting for the hammer to fall didn't land the way i'd hoped it would, as far as my investment in the ideas i was trying to convey vs audience engagement goes, but i can definitely see why it wasn't "gotten". i spent a lot more time trying to mimic the style and feel of Good Omens and relying on that style to convey my ideas for me than i did figuring out how to explain what, exactly, those ideas were.

my intention was to explore "how does someone as buttoned-up as aziraphale, who has lived millennia in peaceful denial, come to terms with an impending confrontation that he absolutely can't avoid or weasel out of?", and that's still something that is very enticing to me, but the fact that he had been in denial his whole existence wasn't something that aziraphale would have been able to recognize on his own. so the execution fell far short of the mark, and i ended up with a few snippets of passable wit and imitative texture that couldn't have connected with a reader even with an operator on the line.

so, as far as the message of the fic goes, i suppose people didn't "get" that one, but it takes reliable postage to deliver a message and i left off all the stamps. (do we think there's been enough methods-of-communication metaphors for one day? everyone's knees sufficiently slapped?)

🕯️ - was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

come together (over me) was a BRUTAL undertaking for a number of reasons, which is also why it hasn't been updated in two fucking years, for all my vain intent to finish it.

not only was it my first ever attempt at a multi-chapter fic, but it was also a long and involved discussion of the many different ways that grief can affect people that i started writing less than a year after losing a friend of mine to a tragic accident (which was also the way the mighty nein lost mollymauk). i started writing it in the first place in an attempt to comfort my partner at the time, for whom molly was an all-time favorite, so i was pushing myself obsessively to meet the perfect balance of canon-accurate and partner-approved characterizations, and giving myself a lot of grief about it.

at the same time, the outpouring of shock and despair from the Critical Role fandom was like nothing i had ever experienced before. this was the first PC death of their 2nd campaign, under circumstances that meant it would be a permanent one, and on top of that, mollymauk was - at the time - the only openly queer character in the party. people had become understandably attached.

unfortunately, though, IMO, this meant a large portion of the fandom deified him to unrecognizable extremes. to a lot of new enthusiasts, he became a saintly sacrificial lamb unjustly slaughtered, or worse, "bury your gays" in action (it was a random encounter at a time when the party cleric was away giving birth. just saying). people who disagreed or people who didn't like him all that much were met with outrage. wars of righteous indignation were waged. lines in the sand were drawn. it was a mess.

all this to say, a fledgling fan trying to be as canon-accurate as possible in my characterizations of people who'd known mollymauk, and of mollymauk himself, for this fic centered around what was now the most controversial fandom event i'd ever seen firsthand, had a higher-than-usual chance of getting me absolutely obliterated on the internet. the horror.

so overall, while i did get a lovely response from what i did end up posting, the circumstances of writing it were unexpectedly exhausting. i had a lot of great ideas, still have a solid outline for the rest of it, and i like what i managed to get done, but just thinking about continuing it (especially so long after it was relevant and after so much has been revealed in canon since) is. haunting

💥 - find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

oh Time Doesn't Stop. (but it should), we're really in it now.

my dear, sweet, first ever foray into posting on ao3, i'm still quite proud of you. it's one of the few times i've felt like i could say more with absence than with explanation. it's a time capsule of confidence in myself and in my skills, and i think i did a pretty good job depicting the ways that constantine both self-destructs and lashes out when faced with a situation that he can't worm his way out of. i like the fact that i let each section in the 5+1 format have room to breathe, rather than trying to blend them together into a seamless narrative; it feels more authentic to me, like time has actually been passing.

🍭 - why did you start writing?

re: writing in general, i genuinely can't remember. i've been writing stories since i was old enough to read them. maybe i've always wanted to create something that thinks the same way i do?

re: fanfiction, because i was an insatiable bookworm as a kid and there were never enough stories about the characters and settings i loved to satisfy me, so i decided to start making them up myself. it ain't a party until obi-wan kenobi is helping a larvitar set up a picnic for every legendary pokemon plus dustfinger from Inkheart.

💎 - why is writing important to you?

i don't really have a good answer for this, because i can't think of a reason it wouldn't be, honestly. i guess the closest thing would be: it's important because i've never been good at speaking my thoughts and feelings out loud, but on paper i can say exactly what i mean and have a better chance of being understood. no need for facial expressions that might be misconstrued, no way for anyone to misread my tone of voice, just uncomplicated self-expression.

it also means that i get to share my passions with folks who are just as passionate as i am, and that i have a less awkward social avenue for expressing my appreciation of their candor. integrating and crediting headcanons you adored into your personal interpretation of canon, writing something inspired by a one-off post because it made you feel something...there can be such confounding social rules around complimenting people when you do it verbally or in person, it's nice to be able to say "thank you for caring as much as you do!" by just. applying your craft.

📡 - why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

because of what i said for the last question, it's all a way of sharing how you feel!!! people write because they feel strongly about a subject, whether they love canon or despise it, whether they want to refute a popular characterization they disagree with or expand on an AU that's been making the rounds. not to quote spongebob, but there's love in every stitch, whether you love the way you think about a character/a story or you love the way somebody else does.

it's also a way of preserving fandom over time, as well as the present moment! fan fiction started because of Star Trek fans in the 70s and they're still making trek shows today, the critical receptions of which are strongly influenced by fan interpretations so time-honored as to become gospel!! (snw you know what you did.) writing fics and sharing them with each other is a tradition of story-telling that will outlast us by centuries, and it is damned wonderful to know that what we leave behind are affirmations of love and dedication.

🪄 - what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

my aftercare is closing out the tab and running away from my computer sdhjk. i'm always very anxious about posting my work, and that's before sharing links or putting it anywhere else, so i usually post any writing i've gotten done right before i go to bed, and then in the morning i can read it with fresh eyes and a calmer brain and pat myself on the back for getting it done. that's a celebration in its way. other than that, drinking water is probably what i do the most after completing something.

🎙️ - which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

actually, somebody already MADE a podfic of my groupchat fic the burning question, which would have been my answer!!!! the wonderful frecklebomb absolutely made my life when they put that together with their friends, i've never felt anything less than absolute joy remembering it.

🤲 - what do YOU get out of writing?

catharsis, baby! i write a lot of hurt/comfort to fill in gaps that i find myself thinking about between episodes/movies/chapters, and it often ends up being very therapeutic. i get the double pleasure of comforting someone and imagining being comforted, with the cherry on top that is narrative completion (at least by my standards).

💋 - when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

i wouldn't call it a priority when i'm leaving those comments, but it's always lovely when they do reply. i'm a collector of joy, knowing with certainty that i've "repaid" someone for their labor of love is never a bad thing, but i definitely don't expect or seek it. hoard all those compliments for a rainy day, y'all deserve them!!

☯️ - how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

"healthy" really comes down to your point of view in fandom, but i do think that multi-platform engagement for fic authors lets you exercise a level of boundary-setting on social media relationships that the rise of tiktok has sort of blown out of the water.

i'm very tired so i'm not sure i could explain my thought process properly if i tried, but basically, going from an author's works on ao3 to their tumblr/twitter often feels like a delightful sneak peek into the mind behind the magic, while going from an author's tumblr/twitter to their works on ao3 can be like walking into a neighbor's studio and realizing they're michelangelo reincarnated. either way, multi-form engagement makes you value them as a person as much as you value the fruits of their labors.

on a less labyrinthine note, getting a message or comment from someone who read your stuff and loved it can be really comforting! someone who liked your work is among the followers who see your fandom theories and wildly thirsty tags. no matter how self-conscious you may get about Being Perceived, you now have at least one person who liked what they perceived.

that's what comforts me, anyway, as someone who is frequently anxious about making bad impressions and bothering people. it also encourages me to send off that complimentary message i've been thinking about sending for ages, even if i only do it anonymously. if i think i would appreciate getting a message like that, then it's worth doing.

🧿 - what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

i really can't stress enough how much i write and post for myself more than for a potential audience. i tell the story that i want to read, not the one i've seen people wishing for. if the two end up being one and the same, that's the best feeling in the world, but it's not the motivating factor behind me writing/posting/sharing.

sometimes i do get less engagement on a fic than i thought i might and it makes me worry that i misread a character, or i write something that i find really funny that never gets commented on, but then i have to remind myself that i only post in the first place when i like it enough to post. if it's up, i've decided i liked it. i didn't decide it was perfect, and i didn't mind-read the fandom to figure out what they're looking for in a fic, and i don't need to as long as it's good enough for me. that's really the only step i take, i guess.

💌 - share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

rubbing my grubby little paws together because OH BOY, i have a Mission Impossible benji & ilsa hurt/comfort dawning-friendship fic coming down the pipes that is very soft and sweet to me, and involves benji braiding ilsa's hair because she's failed miserably at doing it on her own and she's never had anyone to do it for her. it's my sweet angel baby right now, at least until good omens comes out in 24 hours and my synapses misfire to permanently sear the word 'GAY' behind my eyes.

[cobaltaris]

Aris Media 2023 #20: Marvel's Spider-Man (PS4)

god this title is SO generic. legit one of the biggest issues i have with it upfront is its so weird bringing it up in convo because it's such a bog-standard name that you have to just..okay let's just get into the discussion because Not To Sound Cliché But It Really Made Me Feel Like Spider-Man

so in my attempt to branch out further with what i play this year, hey, might as well get through that open world bucket list, huh. this has been on my radar for AWHILE, but 2018 was my phase of "well uhhh i need to play EVERYTHING that came out before this before i try this out" which was dumb but i'm over it now! mostly! and also just some worries cuz i'm not THAT knowledgeable on Spidey/Marvel stuff. like i watched every MCU movie up to Endgame, and have memories of seeing the first Raimi movie (along with its decent tie-in game) but never really had a Spider-Man phase (which hey I might check out the Raimi trilogy because I loved this but shhh LET THE REVIEW PLAY OUT FIRST DORK)

i played this on PS4 because I'm still too broke for a PS5, and it was the one on PS+ Extra since i just got that and fuck you Sony for taking it off it next month, but GOD. GOD. this game is still a fucking BEAUTY. absolutely stunning and somehow both runs well and loads decently fast for what its going for, that being NYC! first night and hours i had with this were so magical for that reason, especially as things are constantly happening in real-time; crimes to stop, streets full of people, FUCKIN PIGEONS, and yet it almost never has an issue taking it all in

and honestly, as an open world...its REAL fun? like, i naturally associate open worlds in my head with busywork that fails to capture the kinetic, well-designed setpieces that linear shit thrives on, but this game strikes a really good balance; not to say it avoids those trappings! some side objectives are really flat and just exist for the Content, but i got about 90% or so, so I'm not even sure if I fully agree with that statement myself lol

it helps that the core defining thing about Spidah Myan on Da PS4 is that yes. let's say it again for the folks in the back. you FEEL like spider-man. the web swinging is so, SO good, honestly holds the whole open world stuff together (heh). like, its one thing to have this massive metropolitian city, but to give such a FUN, acrobatic moveset to go with it makes doing everything so much, SO much better to play. movement and play control are so fucking important in anything and this game nails that, even making stuff like taking landmark photos fun when you can take them MID swing, THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING COOL AAAA

plus, the main story is a good one! i think the middle drags a bit since its a very piecemeal delivered mystery, with very small discoveries every 20 minutes until the BIG shift, but its always interesting! whether thats seeing what the villains will do next, or what kinda dialogue Peter, MJ, Otto, Miles, anyone would really have (GOD THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN PETER AND OTTO IN PARTICULAR. THATS SUCH A GOOD FUCKIN ARC)

the combat to go with that as the meat of it is also pretty satisfying! lots of layers to it but simple at the core, better as you go along, etc. i do think though sometimes, especially in the side content like the Bases, they kinda stretch it WAY too thin and it gets pretty same-y dealing with the same Shield, Brute, Shooter combos. again, middle is the worst about this since there you don't even have any bosses for like 10 hours, and what do you get instead? oh joy not another mediocre stealth segment featuring MJ woooo

The City That Never Sleeps was also. fine? got pretty alright by the final episode but i was so clicked out of the experience by then. felt VERY satisfied with the ending but i don't think i needed to hear Photobomb like 30 times, or deal with 10 minutes of fighting White Armored Dudes with Gatling Guns, lmao. dig the setups for the sequel but i don't have a PS5 and i need a break before I play Miles Morales so fuck you Luigi

Marvel's Spider-Man and No One Else is about an A grade experience, I'd say! close to S, but the combat kinda drained me in the second half, plus the story does drag on a bit in the middle along with those stealth sections not being. great. but a game where i can be in head empty bliss just swinging around NYC while hearing Spidey slander on a podcast? that's video games baby

[auspex]

what's mark's relationship with his sire like?

holy shit. another question about my oc AND i got to dump his story to another new mutual today... im being spoiled. now for ur question. another long text dump below.

Context needed: its 2000, so before the fall of Vienna, thus Tremere can be (and almost always are) bound to their sire and the seven.

In addition, in our game, we modified blood bonds a lil from how they are in v5. So instead of there being like, 3 levels to it, its basically a whole range - many different levels of being bound, generally scored 1-10. I enjoy it a lot it adds drama and such.

Context needed: its 2000, so before the fall of Vienna, thus Tremere can be (and almost always are) bound to their sire and the seven.

In addition, in our game, we modified blood bonds a lil from how they are in v5. So instead of there being like, 3 levels to it, its basically a whole range - many different levels of being bound, generally scored 1-10. I enjoy it a lot it adds drama and such.

Mark's sire is named Julius.

How does Mark feel about him? Awe; adoration; and fear.

Julius essentially hand-picked him to be turned, having folks spy on him for a few years. I assume OOC that Julius spied on others too and selected one based on that. Regardless, he was embraced for a Reason, and that reason is to help Julius's plans.

Julius requires weekly reports from Mark, as well as various other tasks. They meet in person once a month so that Mark can drink his blood. He was initially bound at level 7 or 8, but it has been lowered to 7 or 6 because Julius said he did well and has proven he can have more autonomy. (I don't know the exact level).

Julius has demonstrated the ability to see what Mark is seeing at any time (a high level Auspex ability) and has spoken to him telepathically often. Also just straight up mind reading when in the same room. Mark does not get privacy when it comes to Julius.

Now this is of course fucking horrifying, but Mark doesn't feel that way - because he can't. He's heavily blood bound. He desperately wants to please Julius. That's not to say there is no fear there, he does worry about what happens if he displeases him, is concerned for the safety of himself, and Sampson, but its just not to the extent that a rational person would be.

As stated before, the best word to describe Mark's feelings towards Julius would be awe. He feels truly thankful for all of the help Julius has given him. He feels honored to have been chosen, in a way. Were he not blood bound, Mark would just be terrified.

Recently, Sampson got Mark to realize that rationally, the only reason he has to follow Julius is out of fear, and that he may be evil. It is the first step to wanting to actually get out of the blood bond. Thanks Sampson! HOPEFULLY JULIUS DOESNT GET WORD THAT YOURE DOING THIS. what could go wrong.

Julius himself is over a thousand years old. He was around when the Tremere became the Tremere Clan instead of house Tremere. He is Lord of the state of Michigan and a few others which I forget right now, so he is really high ranking in the Tremere. (Mark isn't of a low generation because Julius artificially lowered it to 11).

Julius does not show himself in person much. The Reagent of the Detroit chantry, and Tremere Primogen in Detroit, Gaius, has... how you say.... Long Standing Beef with Julius. Because Julius made him murder his own son many centuries ago. And he is also the childe of Julius - so technically Mark's blood brother! (He is NOT brotherly though, lmao). But... yeah. Gaius has eternal hatred for Julius. That is part of why Mark is spying :)

Julius sees Mark as a useful tool, who has for now been loyal and effective. He has other childer, Mark is just in a strategic location and so sometimes gets extra attention. Mark knows Julius does not care for Sampson or humans in general; in an early conversation Julius said Mark could have "many Sammys" if he wanted. So I don't think he... understands human relationships anymore. Lmao.

There are only a few things Mark has hid from Julius... one of which is a changeling contract he's stuck in, which is a tale all its own.

[cloudy-rainn]

heya! I'm mari hope I could request a matchup for Tokyo Revengers!

my personality is pretty much a mess. I am usually a ambivert and v socially awkward. around the homies or family I am very Talkative,loud,extra, you know just extroverted in general,around new people or randoms I am shy- or just act antisocial. I'd say I can be pretty lazy and get cranky when asked to do something but I'll pull through and do it anyway. I love seeing others smile and when it comes to people's emotions I try to consider how they feel when it comes to comfort. I'm also a pushover,I have such a weakness for when people cry,I go all soft,even if they did me wrong,then I can't help but feel guilty and try to fix it. I sometimes have a negative mind set/thoughts and other times positive,depends,I'm also not too vocal on my feelings and angry at random times (pent up anger from bullying.) Which results in me punching a wall,posting up with the pillow or just giving an attitude. my mbti is esfp and my zodiac is aquarius. I would save my love language is quality time,,just being with the person is enough.

my appearance I have jet black hair (it is dyed lol) that reaches slightly past my shoulders and is very curly but poofy when dry so I usually keep it in a high bun or straighten it. I have dark brown eyes and longish lashes. I Have chubby cheeks nnn and Everytime I eat my folks say I look like a chipmunk- I stuff my mouth. I'm about 5'2-5'3 and my body is curvyish but I'm a little insecure about my chubby stomach :/. I usually wear like hoodies n sweats or skinny jeans , baggy jeans , or sweats. And Shorts around the house since I feel more comfortable doing that and a oversized shirt.

I enjoy learning to play the piano (I can only play like 2 songs.),, Watching anime, documentaries about murders or serial killers, reality tv , killing eve n maybe some cartoonies when I feel like it (I straight up watched author till 4am in the morning.), YouTube etc. I also like to read manga and chill w/ the friends.

btw some of my favorite places are hot topic, McDonald's, chipotle, forever 21 and ofc the love of my life,my room.

I look for someone who is chill and can match my vibe. They trust me and I trust them,type thing. I don't really want someone who is overly clingy, I'd be fine with it,but after a while I'll get sort of annoyed. Also someone who is humorus and can take a joke! Like I could pull a prank or tell them a joke and they wouldn't turn it into something serious. Someone who can appreciate and not be judgmental and someone who can talk to me. Mainly we get along.

hope all this is good!!

ahh thank you, hope you like it <3

i match you with MITSUYA TAKASHI!

•ngl, lowkey jealous of you rn, he’s the epitome of perfect boyfriend.

•definitely childhood friends to lovers.

•because of taking care of his two sisters, he is definitely able to cook up a pretty delicious meal, and he always lets you taste first for approval.

•he can't help but smile when he sees you stuffing your cheeks with food.

•your personal therapist, he is immediately able to tell when you're feeling upset. he will do everything in his power to make you happy.

•expect a lot of homemade gifts, it is his way of showing you love.

•he will protect you at all costs!

•he makes you clothes!! and don’t worry about him judging your body, he loves you from your head to your toes <3

•will stay up late watching reality tv with you. he finds it interesting lmao.

•you’re his princess, which is why he loves kissing the back of your hand, and occasionally your forehead.

•hakkai is lowkey jealous but he supports you two nonetheless.

•in conclusion, you are one very lucky person and you are dearly loved.

[abbacchiosbelt]

Wait,you accepting a confession? When I first watch JoJo ,I thought that I have things with muscle man since you know three part of Jojo is all big muscle man but nooo as soon I enter part 4, the first question flew from my mouth is. Where is the big tits , and I realized that I like man with bara titty. And when I enter part five , I cry when I see Rissoto and Abbachio, whispering, ahh there's the titty. Don't judge me but man with big chest stir something in me.

you’re not alone, anon! lmao. i know a lot of folks who feel the same way and love the extra beef in parts 1-3! araki may not draw them Extra Beefy anymore, but don’t worry, there’s still some nice tiddies to worship

[rudjedet]

I hope that person didn't worry you (it didn't seem like they did but just in case). They clearly don't know what they're talking about and iq points can't rapidly shift by "about ten points" one way or the other barring brain damage (which you don't have). Pregnancy does enough without adding extra stress to it. I think you have a good idea of what's going on but in case any other worried pregnant people are reading I thought it should be put out there. ❤ wishing you both well on your journey

IQ isn't a static feature. It can and will change throughout your life regardless of whether you've ever been pregnant or not. Last time mine got measured it was 147 but I can almost guarantee you that if I took an IQ test now I'd end up dipping toward maybe a 100 because I can hardly focus on reading a book, let alone a test like that. Whether pregnancy can "rapidly shift" IQ in a permanent way is another matter though, yeah.

And tbh pregnancy does change a lot, yes, and that's natural, yes, but I do think more people need to know about it. Just as people need to know that only 11% of pregnant folk actually enjoy pregnancy, and that it's ok and totally normal to not (always) be on cloud nine. It's hard and even if you don't have prenatal depression like I do it can be isolating if you have no one around who has gone through it. It doesn't need to be, of course, but the chances are there. (To lighten the mood a lil: if you're not on cloud nine during pregnancy you do have a decreased chance of post-natal depression, so there's that!)

Some people enjoy every bit of it and breeze through it and I'm absolutely glad for those people! Unfortunately society tells us we should all only be enjoying this when the reality is so many of us don't. So again: it's fine if all you enjoy about pregnancy is the fact that you got pregnant, and feeling the baby kick. That's where I'm at right now anyway.

I think knowing about this stuff beforehand can definitely help. Like I said it doesn't make the brain changes any less alarming for me personally at least, but I did know it was coming and could adapt. It's so weird though, it makes me 300% more insecure but also about 500% more ready to fight lmao.

And to any pregnant folk now or later who might find themselves struggling or worried about any aspect of it, my inbox is open and although I'm currently perpetually low on spoons I'll always try to help.

[reipasento]

🎁🚗💰

Muse skillset symbol meme

🎁 — giving presents to others

"What kind of 'skill' do you even need to give out presents?" Words spoken from someone who truly never had anyone in his life to give any presents to before. "There's no trick about it, so what's there to know? But first of all... A person needs to deserve that kind of thing! I won't randomly spend money on stuff for some ungrateful and undeserving folks, you know?"

(ooc) I think you'd really really need a high status in Shin's life for him to pick out a good present for you. Even when you befriend him in the extra mode, he says a stupid line like "Don't worry dinner's on me" while handing you a bento box where the date's already kinda expired. I do think it's what he usually eats himself (since he works in a convenience store) but that's still such an awful present to give away lmao... What a shithead.

🚗 — driving

Ah, that one was a wound point. "That's..." No way he could have afford driving lessons before, not to mention a car! "I intended to get my license, but uh... things happened! But hey, that's life, right?"

(ooc) I think he'd love to drive- less walking and being all comfortable after all. Alas, a distant dream for someone like him. If he COULD drive however, I see him as a safe driver before anything. Can't damage that car, that's gonna be expensive!!! ALSO no one would be allowed to touch his car ever.

💰 — finance

"My spending habits? Like any responsible adult, of course I have some savings on the side." It was not much, but no need to talk about that part. "I know how to spend my money wisely, unlike some other infantile adults."

(ooc) Okay, you know. He can totally save up but according to official sketches, he just ends up with impulse purchases anyway. Be it delicious food he craves or some nerd merch junk. He's not even half as much of a responsible adult as he says he is lol. But I do think he usually lives a rater frugal lifestyle (since he has no other choice, mostly)

[commodorecliche]

lmao what? unfollow me then. us being mutuals or you thinking I'm "otherwise so cool" is absolutely irrelevant here. I literally do not care whether you follow me or not, nor what your reasons are. if it makes you feel better, then just unfollow me.

because look I know this is an unpopular opinion on tumblr - which is the land of self diagnosis and personal anecdotes about how self diagnosis is totes fine - but that doesn't change the reality of the situation. self diagnosis is ineffective at best and dangerous at worst. you wouldn't self diagnose a brain tumor, or diabetes, or lung cancer, or covid, so why the hell is it okay to do so with serious mental illnesses or developmental disorders, like borderline or bipolar or manic depression? home research is fine as a jumping off point, like I said before, but it's inadequate for treatment.

how many folks do you think self diagnosed themselves with the common cold recently who actually had covid, and instead of getting a proper diagnosis, they treated it with cold medicine and went on with their life? how many of those folks inadvertently infected others, cause they couldn't be bothered to get a proper diagnosis? how many of those folks do you think died because they dismissed their own need for professional diagnosis? all cause it was easier to go "nah, I KNOW I have this, I don't need a diagnosis"? probably lots. is it okay for them to self diagnose their ailment? no? then why is it okay for potentially devastating mental disorders?

you mentioned in another reply that you are self dx'd with autism but that it's fine because it's nothing you feel you need to deal with in therapy, even though you sometimes talk about it with your therapist.

well that's great, seriously, I'm very glad those symptoms do not interfere with your life to the point where you require actual, real diagnosis and treatment for them. I 100% get why you feel you don't need a professional diagnosis. but it's one thing to say "eh, going by these symptoms, I wonder if I might have a mild form of autism", it's quite another thing to say "I have diagnosed myself with autism".

and not to be too harsh on you, but you know that autism isn't just a singular entity, right? it's a broad group of disorders of varying severity and clinical presentation. and lots of folks with autism are not as high functioning as you supposedly appear to be? or even if they are high functioning, many still require extra treatment due to how the disorder can interrupt their daily life. lots of folks require very specialized care that is taylored to their disorder's presentation. is it cool for them to self diagnose and skip out on valuable treatment just because you believe you have a mild case that doesn't need treatment and that self dx is all good? does that make self diagnosis fine across the board just cause you feel like it worked for you personally?

where on earth can you even draw the line between "self dx and no treatment is fine" and "you need a professional"? either self diagnosis is okay or it isn't. you can't have just a little self diagnosis. how can one who is possibly clouded by their mental illness at all make a quality judgment on whether or not they need professional assessment and treatment? when do you take a step back and say "okay, there is one pro to self dx and a bunnnnch of dangerous cons" and realize that the cons far outweigh the singular pro?

or how about the fact that numerous other physical and mental disorders can mimic autism symptoms? are you willing to tell people who show those symptoms, even if they're minor, to just self diagnose and not worry about getting treatment or a proper diagnosis, even though it might be something completely different than autism and they might miss out on a treatment they actually need?

you know that certain brain tumors can mimic autism symptoms right? lead poisoning can too. ADHD, OCD, schizophrenia, and avoidant personality disorder can also mimic some major autism symptoms. you willing to tell others that self dx is fine, potentially causing them to miss vital professional assessment and treatment?

I know it feels all warm and fuzzy to say "I know myself better than anyone else does and I KNOW I have [very complex disorder with very specific diagnostic criteria]" but that doesn't mean you understand medicine or that you're in any way qualified to determine your own disorder. Sure, there are a couple pros to self diagnosis, but there are A LOT of cons, and those cons can be outright DEADLY for some people. encouraging self diagnosis even for perceived "minor" issues is still harmful and it perpetuates the idea than any ol' amateur who is likely skewed by confirmation bias is somehow more qualified to diagnose a disorder than the literal expert who has trained for years to be able to diagnose these things.

honestly, if we get right down to it, self diagnosis is just the mental health version of the anti vax movement. it's just a bunch of folks with no medical knowledge or experience saying "I know better than the literal experts who have spent years studying and developing these diagnoses and treatments, so I don't need to do what the experts say I need to do", leading to folks missing out on vital treatments for their personal health and well-being.

and if that upsets you to hear, then by all means unfollow me, cause whether you find me *~otherwise so cool~* or not, I don't really care. this is not something you're going to get me to back down on. this is very much an uncomfortable conversation that lots of folks, both on tumblr and off, need to have.

also, a final note: this is not in any way directed at folks who have financial or other limitations that restrict them from getting professional assessment. that is a different beast which requires an entirely different conversation than the one we're having.

lmao i think i lost a follower for the “stop self diagnosing yourselves” post - good riddance, i suppose.