#don't try any shit if this blows up btw. i will blow up also. i will car battery water boiler room power surge myself

[xehabaldera]

humans are not inherently evil but evil is inherently human. "humans are inherently evil" is a fascist viewpoint even if formed in response to fascism because extremism of that level always loops back around to those in power dictating who is "inherently evil" and thus must be slaughtered. also saying that a specific gender or sexuality or anything is inherently evil is just making that fascism more specifically targeted. they will use that to get you on their side then they will turn to you and go "oh, sorry, you're inherently evil too" and execute you. don't say i didn't warn you when the leopards come to eat your faces and find you conveniently backed into your own tiny burrows because you refuse to have any concept of community because you think any demographic of humanity can be inherently evil

[helplesslypurple77]

Day 16-Step-Sibling Incest-Chrollo/Reader/Hisoka/Illumi

Notes:

ok soooo, we’re finishing up Kinktober with a bang! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) anyway, this one is gonna be kind of hard to write but im starting it a bit early cause i have a lot of free time today! Btw this shits ooc as hell but idgaf. It's also looooooong, like over 8k words loooooong. Anyway, enjoy

Title is from ‘The Boys’ by Girls Generation

btw art is from pinterest, if its ur dm me and ill credit u<3

....

You find out your mother remarried when her postcard arrives in the mail. It's a short note, and starts out by telling you that she's on vacation in Bali. She goes on in detail about all the cool things she's doing, and you just shake your head, very used to your mothers forgetful attitude. And then, at the end in a little throwaway sentence, she mentions that she got remarried. 

‘He's a lovely man. And he's got three boys, Name dear. Try to get along with them, and don't cause trouble!’ 

You shake your head, annoyed at the entire note. She tells you not to cause trouble? As if you would, you don't care enough about your mother to bother being upset about the news. But she could have at least invited you to the wedding. She probably forgot about you, her only daughter. It sounds insane, and impossible, but you're very used to your mother forgetting about you entirely. You didn't mind anymore. She pays for anything you need, and your life is comfortable, if not happy. But you could live with that. 

You stare at the postcard for a minute, taking in the colorful flowers and ocean on the front. The bright colors hurt your eyes a bit. But brothers! You couldn't believe it. You had lived your entire life an only child, and now that was about to change. You felt a bit of tentative excitement fill your heart, lifting your moon and painting a smile across your face. You smiled, pinning the stupid postcard to the fridge. It stood out, the only thing on the entire front of the fridge. 

Things are about to change. For better or worse, you don't know. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It's lunch break the next day. You're sitting at your usual lunch table, telling your friend about the postcard, the sun shining down on the uniformed students sitting around in the courtyard of your expensive private school. A brisk breeze whistles through the air, rustling your knee length skirt. You shiver, grabbing your uniform jacket from where you had discarded it, and pulling it back on. Your friend Evelyne, sitting across from you and picking at her sandwich, rolls her eyes.

“Your mom sucks, Name.” She says, popping a green grape into her mouth. You smile.

“Oh, she's not that bad, Evie.” You say, feeling the need to defend your mom, even though she doesn't deserve it. Evie rolls her eyes, pulling at the sleeve of her gray sweater. The school forbids any clothing items aside from uniforms of course, and a jacket or sweater over your white button up. Evie had decorated her sweater with pins and patches, adding a slight bit of uniqueness to the sea of girls wearing similar uniforms. You were too lazy, just wearing the normal dark navy uniforms. Evie was so cool in your opinion. She even dared to dye her hair a brilliant orange red color, which was against the rules. But apparently the school was too busy checking that all the girls' skirts were the correct length, that they missed Evie’s bright hair. Or maybe they didn't care. Evie’s father donated to the school a lot, after all. Evie pulls at her hair, fluffing her bob around her face. 

“Seriously though Name, that was so uncool of your mom. First she doesn't invite you to the wedding, and now just dropping three step siblings on you?” Evie says, her voice echoing in the courtyard a little too loudly. You look around anxiously, but no one cares. The brisk breeze blows some leaves off the large tree over your heads, and you watch them tumble down to the ground.

“I mean it's not too bad, right?” You ask, stealing one of her grapes. “I really don't know anything about them, they could be nice!”

“Sure,” Evie says, taking a large bite of her sandwich. “That was still a dick move, though.”

“Maybe,” You giggle, popping another grape in your mouth. “They might—”

Someone clears their throat right behind you. Startling, drop your third grape, and turn around. There's a boy standing behind you. Looming over you and Evie and the table, with long straight hair tumbling down his back. He's wearing the male version of the uniform, without the jacket. You raise an eyebrow.

“Um, can I help you?” You ask. You hadn't heard anyone come up behind you. The boy doesn't say anything, simply looking you up and down with no expression on his face. He has big eyes, like a porcelain doll in the window of a shop. His skin is pale, his lashes long, his mouth a pale pink. He's quite handsome. And then he opens his mouth.

“I am disappointed,” He says, voice even and cold. There is barely any inflection there at all, but his eyebrows furrow slightly as he looks at you. You frown.

“Uh, what?” You ask, confused. It seems like he’s insulting you, but you can't quite tell because you don't even know who this guy is, what the hell he's talking about, or why he's talking to you in the first place. Evie frowns, opening her mouth. You shake your head at her.

“You know, when people usually meet each other for the first time, it's polite to introduce yourself.” You say, trying to smile through the confusion and slight annoyance. The boy tilts his head, hair waterfalling down his back. You're kind of jealous of it, it looks so smooth and straight. 

“I am Illumi.” The boy says after a moment. And then, before you can spack, he continues. “Father informed us that we are to live with you from now on. I am disappointed.”

The pieces start falling together, the puzzle solving itself in an instant in your mind. Your mouth drops open, a chill running through your body. 

“You're one of my new step siblings?” You ask, jumping to your feet in shock. Illumi nods, frowning slightly at your sudden movement. He's very tall, looming over you even when you're standing right in front of him. You offer a hand, trying to smile. He's been quite rude, but you still give him a few chances to make it up. After all, he has a right to be upset about this situation, after all. His father had just gotten married, just like your mother. You wonder if he was invited to the wedding. 

Illumi stares down at your hand, frowning like it's personally offended him somehow. Finally, after your smile starts to waver, he takes it, giving you a quick handshake. 

“It's nice to meet you.” You say, really trying to mean it. Illumi nods. He doesn't talk much, just stands there before you, staring deep into your eyes with his big, black soulless ones. 

“You are very normal.” Illumi says, looking you up and down again. You raise an eyebrow, trying to figure out if that's a compliment or an insult.

“Is that good or bad?” You ask. You can hear Evie grinding her teeth behind you, like an angry guard dog. Illumi tilts his head to the side, tapping his chin. He moves a bit like a robot, slow, calculated, and cold. 

“Simply an observation,” He says, straightening his head. His hair flows distractingly around him. You don't know how to feel.

“Oh,” You say, forcing a customer service smile. “You look like a porcelain doll.”

Evie chokes on a laugh. You know she's rolling her eyes behind you. Illumi’s brow furrows, his black eyes slipping from your own for a moment, to look behind you. 

“Your friend is quite loud.” He says, looking back at you like you should deal with it. You raise an eyebrow. This guy is really weird.

“I guess?” You say, running a hand through your hair. “She sounds normal to me.”

Illumi frowns, standing still and straight like a robot. 

“The two of you are similar in your normality,” He says. “I shall inform father that I am disappointed in his choice of family.”

He turns, walking away briskly, his hair swinging behind him. You strain your ears, listening for the footsteps that are supposed to be there. You hear none. 

“Well, he's just lovely, huh.” Evie says, popping a grape into her mouth. You sit down again, taking a bite of your own food.

“He's quite odd,” You say, taking a sip of your soda. “Reminds me of a robot. Or a haunted doll.”

Evie chuckles, tossing her half eaten sandwich in the trash can with a thump. She grabs one of your apple slices, taking a bite. You steal a grape in retaliation, even though you’ve already eaten half of them. You make a mental note to grab some grapes at the grocery store later. 

“Well name,” Evie says, tossing the rest of her trash as the bell signaling the end of lunch echoes through the air. “I hope you're excited to meet the rest of your step-siblings.”

“I don't know, I guess I am a little bit.” You say, tossing your trash as you and Evie start towards your English class. “They can't be weirder than Illumi, right?”

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You might have to eat your words, you think to yourself as you stand in the front entrance of your large house, staring at the three boys across from you. It's been about two weeks since your first meeting with Illumi, and your mother and her new husband had just arrived back from their vacation. It seems the boys had not been invited. You feel a bit vindictively happy about that. Your mother and her new husband barely spared you a few drive by greetings before they vanished into the house with their bags. Leaving you and your three new step brothers in the front entrance. You break the silence, offering your hand with a smile. 

“Im Name,” You say, voice echoing in the front entrance. The room stills for a moment, and then the tallest one darts into action. He moves forward, gripping your hand in his cold, pale hands, and shaking it firmly. 

“How lovely it is to meet you, Name.” He says, smiling. His yellow eyes dart up and down your body, zeroing in on your uniform, and then your eyes. He runs a hand through his bright red hair, pushing it back off his forehead. It falls back immediately, obscuring his eyes slightly as he speaks.

“Having such a pretty sister is so exciting.” He says, pointed canines flashing in the light. You flush. 

“Hisoka,” One of the other boys says, voice a warning. “Stop it.”

The red haired boy, Hisoka, simply smirks wider, slowly bringing your hand up to press a kiss to the top. You flush, yanking your hand away from his plush lips. He tilts his head, pouting like a wounded puppy. The black shirt he's wearing stretches over the muscles of his chest and arms. He's really hot. So are all of them actually. You wince internally. These boys are going to be your step brothers, you aren't allowed to lust after them, no matter how attractive they are. 

“It's nice to meet you,” You say, forcing down your blush. Hisoka's smile returns to his face. It looks practiced, rehearsed, fake. This one is dangerous. 

“I'm the oldest, you see. Chrollo, the frowny one with the bangs,” he gestures backwards at the boy in question, who simply sighs as Hisoka continues, “Is the middle child. And the one on the end is the youngest.”

“Illumi and i met already actually.” You interject, frowning slightly. Hisoka raises a single eyebrow. 

“Oh dear, I hope he wasn't too rude.” He says, smiling apologetically. You resist the urge to tattle, and brush your hair over your shoulders. You're wearing simple clothes, some jeans and a nice blouse. Your mother had texted you before they had arrived, asking you not to ‘embarrass her’. 

“Oh, he was fine.” You say quietly, ignoring the way Illumi stares into your soul. “We go to the same school. Do you guys go there too?”

Hisoka chuckles, looming over you a bit. His stare edges towards predatory sometimes. 

“Oh no dear, I graduated a couple years ago.” He laughs, arm flexing as he pats you gently on the shoulder. 

“Oh,” You say, ignoring the lingering hand on your shoulder. He's very physical. “Would you guys like a tour of the house?”

“That would be lovely!” Hisoka exclaims, spinning you around bodily and gripping your waist. “You're very sweet, darling.”

You smile, ducking away from the hand clutching your waist. It's better for your own sanity. The other boys trail behind you as you exit the main entrance way. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Adjusting to the new living situation isn't as bad as you thought it would be. Your mother and her new husband don't hang around the house often, and even if they do, they usually stay secluded to their wing of the house. Hisoka often isn't at the house for long stretches of time, or comes back quite late at night. It's too bad, he's the most friendly of his brothers. Illumi is home almost twenty-four seven, leaving only for school and the occasional odd errand. Chrollo vanishes, you don't know where he goes. But he's probably still at the house. You think. 

It's been a few weeks since you were first introduced to them, but your life hasn't really changed all that much. The two younger boys aren't very friendly or inviting, and you haven't had the chance to talk to them as much as you’d like. It would be nice if you could get to know them a bit better. So that's what you're doing now. 

Illumi is probably in his room. He usually goes straight to his room after school, and shuts the door behind him with a slam. All of the bedrooms are in the same hallway, two on each side. Your parents bedroom is in their wing of the house, of course.

You walk up the stairs, steeling yourself for a hard fight. Illumi is a weirdo who can't really carry a conversation well and doesnt want to talk to you, but you're determined to try to be friends with him. Or at least, civil. You even have a plan. Ask for help with homework, and then the two of you could be study buddies. You were in the same grade, which meant you had the same classes. It was a perfect plan! Well, maybe not perfect, but pretty good. 

The hallway is dark. You switch on the light with a click, illuminating the metal plates on each door. Your room is next to Illumi’s. Hisoka and Chrollo’s rooms are on the other side. No light shows from under their doors. They're probably out. Illumi’s room has cold bright light leaking into the hallway, however. You dip into your room to change out of your school uniform. Slinging on a tank top and a pair of sweatpants, you grab your study materials and walk a few feet down the hall. Raising your hand, you knock tentatively on Illumi’s door. 

“Hey Illumi? It's me, can I come in?” You ask through the door. It's quiet, and for a moment you wonder if he's actually not in. and then he speaks.

“Yes.” He says, quietly, just barely audible through the thick wood of the door. You take a deep breath, steel yourself and open the door.

You step through, cold feet meeting a blue carpet, and close the door behind you. Illumi looks up, staring at you with wide, confused eyes. He’s sitting on the floor with his study materials spread neatly on a low table. You smile.

“Can I study with you?” You ask, hiding your shaking hands behind your back. Illumi blinks for a moment, as if mentally calculating whether or not it's a good idea. Finally, he nods.

“I don't see why not.” He says, looking back to his own study materials. You smile.

“Thanks,” You say, moving into the room and bending down to place your study materials out. Illumi makes an odd noise, like a choke and a cough at the same time. You look up, worried. His face is a little flushed.

“You ok?” You ask, sitting down across from him at the low table. Illumi nods.

“I am fine.” He says, eyes wandering from you to your work to the wall behind you. You shrug, turning to your study materials. The room sinks into silence, broken by the occasional turning of pages and the scratching of pencil on paper. Finally, when you think he's adjusted to your presence enough, you speak.

“Hey Illumi, what did you mean when you said I was normal?” 

Illumi looks up from his work, eyes darting past your chest a little slowly and focusing on your eyes. He tilts his head in confusion. 

“Exactly what it sounds like.” He says, as if it's obvious. You frown.

“But what does it mean?” You try again, “Like that im ugly?”

“You are not ugly.” Illumi says, voice sounding a bit weird. You flush.

“Oh, thanks.” You say, scratching your chain awkwardly. “Is it that I'm boring?”

Illumi stares at you long and hard, barely blinking. It seems like he's trying to figure out why you're upset. It reminds you of a robot, updating its programming as it tries to figure out what the weird human is upset about. Finally, he shakes his head.

“The words I used were inappropriate. I apologize.” Illumi offers, face still blank. “I simply met you were not the tyrant your mother portrayed you as.”

You frown. You've heard those words before, the insults aren't uncommon from your mother. But it still hurts. Your chest aches as you force a smile.

“Oh, really?” You say, forcing a fake laugh. “What did she say?”

Illumi frowns slightly, watching your face closely. He seems to be scanning for any change, any hint that you're upset. But your poker face is flawless, you've had a lot of practice. Finally, he opens his mouth.

“You were a spoiled brat who would throw a tantrum at a moment's notice.” He says, placing his pencil down on the table. “I was informed you went to my school, so I decided to meet you. You were not like I had been told, and I simply expressed it poorly.”

Your heart sinks into your stomach. You know your mother doesn't like you that much, or at least never wanted children, but is this what she thought of you? You feel like you're going to cry. You don't want to, you can't cry in front of Illumi. But against your will you feel tear after tear roll down your face. Illumi looks almost helpless as you cry, whipping it away with the back of your hand. 

“Are you sad?” Illumi asks, frowning. He looks like he doesn't know what to do.

“Yes, Illumi.” You sob, tears rolling faster and faster down your face. “I'm crying. Have you never seen a girl cry?”

Illumi shakes his head, hand hanging awkwardly in the air between you. He clenches his fingers a few times, then lets it drop down. 

“I don't really talk to girls.” Illumi says, staring in confusion as the tears roll down your cheeks. He looks almost adorable in his helplessness. Your shoulders shake as you cry, big fat tears rolling down your face and hitting the fabric of your tank top, soaking the blue fabric a darker blue. Illumi stares, awkwardly shuffling his pencil around in front of him. Finally, you give up.

“You're supposed to comfort crying girls.” You whimper, wiping the tears away as fast as they come. 

“Comfort?” Illumi asks, tilting his head. You nod.

“Just give me a hug, Illumi.” You cry, crawling around the table towards him. Illumi sits there awkwardly as you throw yourself against his black covered chest. You cry into the turtleneck he's wearing, muffling your sobs into his chest. Illumi sits straight up, hands hovering awkwardly above your body until finally, when you crawl fully onto his lap, he settles them on your back. His hands are big, and warm. Finally, the tears start to subside. 

You snuggle into his neck and shoulder, warm and snug against his surprisingly hot body. In both temperature and stature, actually. He has broad shoulders, and strong arms through the thick black fabric of the turtleneck. You giggle, drawing circles on his shoulders as you wipe the last tears away. 

“Thanks for giving me a hug.” You sigh, still burrowing into his warm body. Illumi coughs, the sound loud in the relative silence of the house. 

“I apologize if it was a poor hug. I was never taught to give one.” He says, voice rumbling out from his chest. You giggle, shifting on his lap.

“What are you talking about, silly. No one gets taught how to hug.” You say, running your hand through strands of his long, silky hair. Illumi coughs, clearing his throat as you shift on his lap again. The room sinks into comfortable silence for a moment. 

“What, have you never hugged a girl before?” You laugh, moving again. Illumi makes a choked little sound in his throat, and shakes his head.

“I told you, I don't really talk to girls.” He says, his voice sounding a bit strained. You frown, pulling away from his chest to look him directly in the face. A faint flush has painted itself across his cheeks. 

“Hey, are you alright? You sound weird.” You say, bringing a hand up and pressing it against his forehead. You shift on his lap a bit as you bring your other hand up, touching your own forehead. He doesn't have a fever, at least.

“I am fine.” Illumi nods. His cheeks are still just the palest petal pink, but his ears have started burning pure red among the strands of  black hair. You're kind of alarmed. You dont think you’ve ever seen a hint of pink on his face, and now you see so much. You shift slightly as Illumi’s hands fall, grabbing your waist tightly.

“You should get off.” He says, voice warbling slightly. You frown, trying to ignore how butterflies rise in your stomach as his hands clench around your waist. 

“Wait, why?” You ask, grabbing his shoulders as you slip slightly, pulling yourself close against him. “I was enjo—”

You stop suddenly as you feel something under your thigh. Illumi looks away, body tensing as you move experimentally, pressing against the thing. It jumps against you. Illumi chokes.

“Are you hard?” You ask, voice loud in the silence. Illumi winces slightly.

“No.” He says, pulling his head back until his hair partially obscures his face. You shift experimentally and are rewarded with his hands clenching down on your waist. 

“Illumi you literally are.” You say, biting back a smile. Illumi doesn't say anything. Now you know you should be disgusted. He's your step-brother, after all. But, you can't quite bring yourself to pull away and run to your room. So instead you slide down his thighs, slowly crawling backwards on the floor until you're sitting a few feet in front of Illumi. His face looks dreadfully blank, like he expects you to slap him. Your eyes trace down his figure, taking in his broad shoulders and trim waist, and the bulge in his pants. You really wanna fuck him. But somehow, that seems like too much. Like it's a line you can't cross as step siblings, so you'll settle for this. Reaching your hand out slowly, carefully, you bring it down, stroking him over his pants. 

The effect is instantaneous. Illumi’s back straightens, his body tensing as a small groan leaks out from between his clenched lips. 

“Wait, what are you doing?” Illumi asks, obviously trying to keep his tone even as you stroke him.

“Thanking you.” You smile, pulling the belt of his sweatpants down. There's a small wet patch on his gray underwear, near the tip. You grin, licking your lips, and pressing your hand against him. Illumi whimpers, and quickly bites the rest of the sound back. You wish he would let all of his sounds out, but you doubt he will. And so you pull him out of his boxers, stroking him gently in your hand. Illumi bites his lips, eyes falling closed as you stroke him. He looks so pretty like this. Back straight and stiff, hair pooling around his shoulders and hitting the ground, cheeks flushed cherry blossom pink. You grin, mouth watering, and bend down. 

“Wait, Name.” Illumi protests, his voice slightly hoarse. You pause, looking up at him from your position on the floor. His black eyes are filled with swirling lust and something else you can't quite place. 

“Yeah?” You ask, letting a big glob of spit fall from your lips and plop onto Illumis dick. It twitches and Illumis shoulders twitch with it. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, eyes locked on your own. You smile.

“I'm gonna give you a blowjob.” You say, and then start taking him into your mouth. He was clearly going to say more things, probably useless things that you don't want to hear, but they dissolve in his throat as you take him as far as you can, using your hand on the parts you can't reach. You make sure to use your hand on the parts you can't quite reach. Illumi groans again, as one hand clenches in the fabric of the carpet, and the other grabs your hair. You humm around him, pulling up and down, doing your best to drive him mad. It must be working, too, because tiny huffs and groans have started to leak out, even though he must be doing his best to hold them back. You can feel him twitching in your throat, probably close to cumming. 

You smile around him, pressing a kidd to the tip before eating him down your throat again. Illumi groans, hand yanking your hair a bit as he does.

“Wait name im—”

He doesn't get to finish his sentence before something warm and sticky is flowing down your throat. You do your best to swallow it all before you pull off him, licking your lips. And then you realize what you just did. Illumi looks out of it, his black eyes hazy and confused, his cheeks still flushed. His dick is lying on the hem of his pants, tracking spit and cum on them. He looks very pretty. And then it just hits you what you’ve done. You gave your step brother a blowjob. You jump to your feet, trying to fix your hair. Illumi startles, shoving himself back into his underwear and pulling up his pants. Finally, when the room sinks into silence, you speak.

“Don't tell anyone.” You say, whipping a spot of cum off your boobs. Illumis eyes jump there, and then back to your own. You wait for him to agree, then flee to your room in embarrassment. What the hell have you done. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So maybe your plan to get to know your step brother didn't exactly go as you had thought. But you were still determined to get to know them. Without the blowjob part, obviously. You sigh, turning a page in your book as you stare into space. The library was your favorite part of your house. The smell of books and lavender filled your nostrils and helped you calm down. The light was golden, pouring over the little seating area you’ve found yourself in. It was a perfect place to read. 

Too bad you're not actually reading, just trying to forget the Blowjob Incident™ from two days ago. You sigh, remembering it again and shifting your legs. You hate to admit how much it kinda turns you on. How you just wanna go back and demand that Illumi eat you out. You sigh, crossing your legs again, and closing your book with a slam. Well, the book was boring anyway. 

Your socked feet make barely a noise on the hardwood floors as you move back into the tall bookshelves that rise to the sky. Well, the ceiling. The bookshelves aren't that tall but they still feel tall. You slip the book away, and then move down the narrow hallways of books running your hand along their spines. Maybe a smut book will make you a little less pent up. Or more, but you could at least blame it on the book then, and not the Blowjob Incident™. 

The smut section of the library was there when you and your mom moved in. Actually, most of the books were. It makes sense because the house has been in your family for generations. You chose not to think too hard about which of your dead relatives had picked out the smut books. You had already read all of them, but you scanned the shelf for one of the better ones. 

Finally you spot one, the familiar gold and red cover sitting teasingly out of reach on the top shelf. You stand on your tippy toes, and reach up as high as you can, your fingertips just brushing the bottom. You brace your hand against one of the lower shelves and strain as high as you can. Someone chuckles behind you. And then a warm body comes up behind you, reaching just the last few inches to grab the book from the shelf and recede. You spin, and take in Chrollo, standing in front of you with the book outstretched.

“Here you go,” He says, offering you the book. You take it quickly, holding it against your chest as you flush.

“Thanks,” You say, hiding the title of the book as best you can. Better to be safe than sorry. Chrollo smiles slightly, folding his arms across his chest. He's wearing a fluffy looking sweater. You clear your throat, still standing with your back against the smut books. 

“Are you enjoying the library?” You ask, in a hurry to change the subject, so he doesnt start asking questions about your book.

“Yes it's quite extensive.” Chrollo says, brushing a hand through his hair. “I myself have been enjoying the philosophy and nonfiction sections.”

“Oh,” You say, smiling slightly. “Those sections are pretty good, the nonfiction section especially has some pretty interesting and rare books. ”

“You seem to know this library pretty well.” Chrollo says, sliding his hands into the pockets of his black pants. “I assume you’ve read most of the collection?”

“Yep, almost all of it.” You say, smiling excitedly. “I haven't quite got through the cookbook section.”

You love the library. It's such a lovely place to escape too. And besides, your mother never comes in here. She says it's too dusty, even though the maids do a wonderful job of cleaning the entire house. You sigh, leaning back against the bookcase. Chrollo frowns.

“You seem upset about something.” He says, moving a few steps closer. You sigh. Your mothers words still sit a bit heavy in your heart, but you're more used to her cruelty than you should be. It's embarrassing that you're actually more upset about the Blowjob Incident™. But you definitely can't tell Chrollo that. So your mother is getting thrown under the bus. Besides, you're kind of curious to hear what they were told about you.

“What where…” You say, clearing your throat, and trying again. “Well I mean, how much did you guys know about me before you moved in.”

Silence falls for a moment as Chrollo considers you, taking in your body, clothes up a turtleneck, pleated skirt and socks, your face as you avoid his eyes. Then he speaks.

“Oh, not much. At least I wasn't told anything.” Chrollo says almost soothingly, moving forward to pat you gently on the arm as he continues. “I know father told Illumi a bit more.”

You frown, tilting your head. 

“Why not you?” You ask, looking up at him. Chrollo stifles a smile.

“Oh, Father and I don't get along.” He rubs your shoulder reassuringly, and you shiver as his warm hand leaves you. “Illumi listens to him. Hisoka and I do not.”

“Oh,” You say, shoving down your confusion and the urge to pry. “Well, did you know anything?”

“Your age and gender.” Chrollo says, patting you on the head with a chuckle. “Is that what you were upset about? Don't you worry, We all had a favorable impression of you the moment we saw you.”

You frown, brow furrowing in confusion as Chrollo steers both of you out of the seas of bookshelves and back into the rest area. You spot a book resting open on the couch, a mug of something warm on the table. Steam spirals into the air, and you sit down on the other end of the couch, watching Chrollo as he picks up the book, sitting neatly in the middle. You sigh, brushing your hair out from behind you and leaning back, closing your eyes. The sounds of page turning fills the air, broken only by Chrollo’s slow, even, breathing. 

You open your own book, too embarrassed to change books now. What would you say if he asked why you were exchanging your book? ‘Oops, I grabbed a smut book because I was feeling horny after I gave your brother a blowjob, and I'm too embarrassed to read it in front of you.’ Hello no. Besides, Chrollo isn't paying attention to you, and you’ve already read this book a thousand times. The smut won't turn you on as it once had, you're sure. 

You were wrong. Maybe it's something about the fact that chrollo is sitting a few inches away, turning the pages of his own book calmly, or maybe you were just that horny, but you're barely into the smut scene when your pussy starts throbbing. You shuffle on the couch, crossing your legs and clenching your thighs together. You shiver at the little burst of pleasure that gave you and continue reading, body tight and tense. You're barely digesting the words on the page, far too busy being distracted by the warm body a few inches away from you. Chrollo is much more interesting than the stupid smut book anyway. 

You look at him out of the corner of your eyes. His hair falls gently, angled down towards the book in his lap. It's some philosophy book, you don't care enough to try to make out the tiny text at the top of the page. Chrollo's skin is pale, sharp against the black of his hair. It's a close shade to the cream white of his sweater. You want to reach out and brush his hair out of his eyes, then beg him to kiss you senseless. 

You curse the universe for giving you such hot men who were so close in age to you and lived with you, and then making them your step siblings. So out of reach. You ignore the looming memories of the Blowjob Incident™, and turn a page, trying to focus on the smut scene. But words on a page cannot distract you from the subtle scent of Chrollo's cologne, floating in the air between you. You shift uncomfortably on the couch as your pussy floods with heat, your body begging to be touched. 

You're crossing your legs again when Chrollo speaks.

“You seem a bit restless.” He says, pausing before the last word. You slam your book shut, not even bothering to put a bookmark in it. Your face must be flushed, you know.

“I guess.” You say, clearing your throat. You swear you can hear your arousal in your voice, smell it in the air. The room sinks into silence as Chrollo puts a bookmark in his book, setting it down on the table with a soft thump. You clutch yours in your lap, kind of thankful for a hard thing to clutch. Not like that. Chrollo smiles at you softly, his gray eyes glowing slightly in the lowlight.

“Bad book?” He asks, gesturing towards the book in your lap with a nod. You squeak, shrugging. 

“Uh, it's fine!” You say, putting it on your other side. You feel like a rubber band pulled tight, about to snap. Chrollo seems to be moving closer. 

“I'm impressed,” Chrollo chuckles, scooting closer to you along the couch. 

“What?” You say, heart pounding double time as his gray eyes move closer and closer. You scoot backwards until you're sitting with your back pressed against the arm. The book slides off the couch, hitting the ground with a muffled thud. Chrollo chuckles, stopping a few feet away from your knees. 

“It's quite bold to read a smut book an inch away from your step brother.” Chrollo says simply, a small smile marking his pale lips. Your mouth drops open.

“How did you know?” You ask, voice a little to breathless for you liking. A flush is working its way up your chest and neck, and overtaking your face. Your traitorous pussy drools arousal on your panties. Chrollo chuckles.

“I memorized the Library layout.” He says, smoothing a hand over your sock covered calf. “I'm sure you did as well.”

You’ve had it memorized since you were a child. But you're very distracted right now by his warm hand as it moves slightly higher on your raised legs, now brushing past your knee. You bite back a whimper, not daring to make a noise as his hand travels higher and higher. Chrollo chuckles.

“We certainly aren't the best step siblings, aren't we?” He says, hand stroking up and down your thigh, tips of his fingers barely brushing the edges of your pleated skirt. His fingers feel hot against your bare skin. You slap your hand over your mouth, and Chrollo smirks. 

“What are they going to say?” You whimper through your hand as Chrollo gently grips both your thighs, urging them apart. Chrollo chuckles, tugging down your panties, the last sticky barrier between him and your telling wetness. 

“Who, our parents?” he asks, voice still so soft in the large silence of the caverness library. “They're never here. How could they know?”

 You guess he's right, you think to yourself as he presses a delicate little kiss to your clit. How could they know, when neither of them pay attention to you. To any of their children, it seems. Your back arches against the couch, hands reaching down to tangle in Chrollo's black hair.

Chrollo eats pussy like a man starved. He eats you out like you're an oasis in a dry desert and he hasn't had a sip of water in years. He buries his head between your thighs, gripping your hips tightly as he licks and sucks you closer and closer to orgasm. You feel like you're losing your mind, tipping so close to insanity. Here you are, engaged in sexual activities with another one of your step brothers. Two out of three. And although you had initiated the one from a couple days ago, this one had been all Chrollo. 

You whimper as you feel your orgasm threatening on the horizon, as you tug gently on Chrollo's soft hair and moan his name tellingly into the empty library. 

“I'm gonna cum.” You whimper, warning him with a few extra tugs to the hair in case he isn't listening. He only doubles his efforts, concentrating his sucking and licking on your clit and tossing you off the cliff of orgasm like a rag doll. You moan loudly as you cun, body tensing and convulsing as you come undone, tugging at his hair. 

It takes you a moment to come back, blinking up at the overhead lights. And when you speak, your voice is hoarse. 

“You can't tell.” You say, voice trembling in the room. You wait for Chrollo to nod, and when he does, then you flee again, pulling your panties up and dashing out of the room leaving Chrollo behind you. 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You straighten your back as you stand a few feet outside of the doors to the exercise room. You know Hisoka is in there. You know he's there because you made sure to triple check with him, and both his brothers. You need to talk to him. Urgently, one might say, because you're kind of having a crisis, and it's surprisingly hard to get him alone to talk. But the crisis. Maybe it has something to do with the incidents that had happened in the last week. You shiver slightly as you remember them, body trembling as it recalls all of it. You shake your head, straighten your shoulders, and march into the gym with your head held high. 

You don't go in here often. You don't like working out, preferring sports to things like gyms and working out. But you know the general layout.

Hisoka is over by the rack of weights. You can see his brilliant hair from all the way across the room, as he does some sort of weight exercise. You move through the room, catching your own reflection out of the corner of your eye in the mirror lining one wall. The room is silent, besides for the sound of your feet on the cold concrete floor, and the muffled music blasting from Hisoka’s headphones. 

He hasn't spotted you yet. As you move closer, you watch his arm muscles bulge, completely put on display by the black tank top he's wearing. You clear your throat, begging your already fried nerves and the arousal beating at your gut to calm down. 

“Hisoka? Can I talk to you?” You say, trying to be audible over the music pounding in his headphones. Hisoka looks up, meeting your eyes in the mirror in his sharp yellow gaze, and then smiles. 

“Ah, Name. I didn't see you there.” He says, placing the weight back in the rack, and pulling his headphones out of his ears. “Come to watch me workout?”

He winks, and you chuckle. He's not wrong, that's what you were doing just then. You shake any traces of arousal out of your face and force a smile.

“Um, I wanted to talk to you about something.” You say, bringing a hand to your mouth. You chew anxiously on your nails, heart pounding a bit too fast. Hisoka’s brow furrows, eyes scanning you up and down. 

“Is something wrong, darling?” He asks, moving closer to you, gently grabbing your hand and lowering it away from your mouth. You almost flinch as his hot fingers touch you, as he gets close enough and all you can see is the beads of sweat lingering on his skin. You want to lick them off, oddly enough. His hand is still holding your wrist. He can probably feel your pulse beating double time. 

“I,” You start, then clear your throat. “Well, this is kind of embarrassing.”

Hisoka raises an eyebrow, hidden behind his bright red hair. His eyes flicker the length of your body again, taking in your pajama shorts and t-shirt you cut into a crop top. You look like a slob, but he'd already seen you when he got home and you figured it would be weird if you showed up wearing something nicer to have this conversation. You didn't even know if he would believe you, or what he would say. You shake your head, begging your face not to flush. 

“Well, recently, i've been trying to get to know Illumi and Chrollo,” You start. Hisoka chuckles.

“Oh how adorable~” He says, patting you gently on your head. He smells of salt and musk and faintly of cologne. “Aren't you just the sweetest.”

You flush, body heating up at the nickname. Maybe this was a bad idea. 

“Is your hair natural?” You ask, too embarrassed to keep talking. Hisoka chuckles.

“Yes, doll. The three of us have different mothers.” He says, patting your head gently again. “Now what did you want to say?”

“Oh, um,” you stutter again, voice suddenly caught in your throat. “I'm not sure how to say this.”

Hisoka considers you, trying to peer into your soul through your eyes and figure out what's got you so worried. You almost wish he would. Then the words wouldn't have to pass your lips. He's starting to look almost worried. Or as worried as you've ever seen him look. 

“Why don't you sit down,” he says. You plop down onto the mat below your feet, sitting with your legs crossed on the cushy material. Hisoka sits down opposite you, smiling patiently at you. 

“Have my brothers been bothering you?” He asks, moving forward to smooth the wrinkle between your brows. “You don't deserve to worry your pretty head about those idiots.”

“Oh no, it's my fault too.” You say, shaking your head. Hisoka's hand withdraws, falling back into his lap. You don't know if you want him to touch you more or stand ten feet away. You can't decide which one you want more. 

“Well, I think I've been a bad step sister.” You confide, leaning forward a bit. Hisoka raises an eyebrow,

“Oh why would you think that?” He purrs, reaching forward again to smooth a hand over your shoulder. “If anything, you're too good for undeserving men like us, doll.”

You smile, brushing your hair over your shoulder. The gym is empty besides the two of you. You don't know if anyone else is home. Your mother and her new husband are on some favation. Illumi is 

“I guess. The other boys haven't complained or anything,” You flush, body temperature rising as you remember the things that had happened. “But, I keep doing things that step sisters aren't supposed to do.”

Hisoka’s face goes blank for a moment. He blinks a couple times, and then a smile appears on his face. 

“Whatever are you talking about?” He asks, a fake smile still glued to his face. You flinch, face still flushed. It feels like he already knows what you mean, or has an idea. But he seems like he wants to hear it from your lips. Hear you say all the dirty forbidden things you've gotten up to with his half siblings. You lick your lips and clear your throat. Your hands are trembling in your lap, and you clench them against your pajama shorts, suddenly feeling too naked to be doing this. You don't know why. 

Maybe it's how Hisoka is looking at you. His yellow eyes scan your body, taking in each square inch of bare skin on display for his viewing, or the careful way he holds himself. He looks predatory. You hate how it sends a bolt of heat to your gut. You take a deep breath, steady yourself, and speak.

“We have engaged in some sexual acts.” You whisper into the silence of the gym. Hisoka raises an eyebrow, looking mostly unsurprised. 

His yellow eyes dart down again, scanning your body as if looking for evidence of what you have spoken into existence.

“I'm afraid you're going to need to be more specific, doll.” Hisoka says, voice light and teasing as if the two of you are discussing something as trivial as the weather. You gulp down your spit, taking a deep breath and closing your eyes. 

“I have Illumi a blow job. Chrollo ate me out.” You say, keeping your eyes closed. “What am I supposed to do?”

Silence echoes in the gym for a moment. And then Hisoka chuckles. 

“Oh my, what a dilemma you seem to have, doll.” He laughs, the sound echoing in the empty room. You open your eyes, kind of confused.

“You seem surprised.” You say, eyes gliding over Hisoka’s body again before you can yank them up to his eyes. You're already a bit turned on from just talking to him, touching him, being near him. Not to mention thinking too much about the events of the last week. 

“Oh, i figured it out as soon as you mentioned sexual acts.” Hisoka says, doing air quotations around the words ‘sexual acts’. He shoots you a wink as he continues. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

“Oh,” You say. He seems very casual about this, very unbothered. You pull your lower lip into your mouth, biting it as you watch him smile unnervingly. “Why aren't you angry?”

“Hmm~” Hisoka hums, eyes darting down to your mouth as you let your bottom lip out of your mouth, probably a bit red from the biting. “I wonder.”

It happens so fast. One moment you're sitting upright, watching Hisoka in front of you with apprehension. And then the next moment you're tumbling backwards, the world spinning on its axis. Your back hits the mat with a thump and you grunt. Hisoka looms over you, a feral light hiding in his eyes as he greedily scans you up and down. 

“What?” You say breathlessly, biting back the moan that wants to leak out as you take in Hisoka above you. His hair droops around him in a brilliant red halo. He cages you against the matte softened floor, and you whimper as his thigh finds its way between your legs, pressing up into your pussy. 

“My brothers and I are very different, you know.” Hisoka says, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your neck. “But I suppose we are similar in some ways after all.”

He nips at your neck and you whimper, body reflexively straightening against his thigh. Your hands reach up to scrabble at his shoulders. 

“Wait, Hisoka.” You whimper as he breaths hot and heavy on your ear, pressing hickeys on the skin under your ear. “No marks, they’ll see.”

Hisoka laughs huskily. 

“Who doll?” He laughs, pressing his thug against your pussy harder. You whimper, pleasure running a hard line down your spine. You're losing your mind and he hasn't even taken your clothes off. 

“Chrollo” You breathe, the name coming out as more of a moan. “And Illumi.”

“Ah, not those pesky absent parents of ours?” Hisoka says, a chuckle in his voice. “Oh they won't mind. If anything, they’ll take it as a challenge. How would you like that doll?”

You whimper, gripping his muscled shoulders tightly and digging your nails into his back. Hisoka grunts, body pressing you deep into the floor. You're trapped, between the matt covered floor and a body of solid muscle. Hisoka reaches down, using one hand to pull the loose pajama shorts off your body, tossing them somewhere behind him. You whimper as he yanks off your panties too, exposing your poor pussy to the bare air and the mean strokes of his corded thigh. 

“You're so sexy,” You whimper as he drives his muscled thigh into your clit. You feel like you're going to break, just shatter to pieces right there on the gym floor. Hisoka laughs, heavy in your ear. 

“What a slutty step-sister I have.” he breathes, voice deliciously husky. “I wonder. Could you handle all of us at once?”

Your pussy twitches against him, drooling more arousal, leaving sticky trains all over the fabric of his sweatpants. 

“Oh god yes,” You whimper, images of it filling your mind. You're too turned on to be mortified as HIsoka laughs, kissing hickeys and bite marks all over your neck. You're losing your mind. It seems your three for three, and all you want to do is to be fucked stupid by your step brothers. 

Hisoka chuckles, pulling away to stare down at you with lust driven yellow eyes, almost glowing behind curtains of red hair. And then he shoves two fingers into your mouth.

“Be a good girl and suck.” He coos, driving his thigh against your pussy in regular thrusts, driving you closer and closer to orgasms. You're gonna cum. Soon, you're so close to losing your mind.

You're sure you look like a mess. Your hair is a messy halo around your head two fingers shoved in your mouth, your body twisting and turning on the mat. Shorts and underwear long discarded, grinding your bare pussy on your step brother's clothed thigh. But you don't even care. Hisoka smiles above you, canines sharp in the lowlight.

“You gonna cum, doll?” he smiles. You nod, sucking his fingers obediently, whining around them as best you can. Hisoka smiles, merciful as an avenging angel above you.

“You've been so good, so I'll let you cum.” You coos, leaning the weight of his body on you as he withdraws his fingers from your mouth. You're about to protest, but you don't get words as he replaces his fingers with his lips, sealing your mouth in a kiss as you fall off the edge.

Your body convulses as you cum, grinding down on his thigh until you can't anymore, until you're screaming from oversensitivity and you yank yourself away from his thigh, trembling. Hisoka eats every moan and scream, muffling it with his tongue and his lips. Until finally, he pulls away with a little chuckle.

“Done already?” He coos, wiping the tears and spit from your face with a laugh. “I was just going to call the others.”

...

Endnotes: i hope you guys enjoyed this kinktober ride as much as i did lol. This ones a bit long but i figured we’d better go out with a bang~

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

why do so many people keep calling ed izzy's abuser? I thought it was kind of funny how wrong they were at first because I love being right but at this point I feel like, if you really believe that why do you even like this show? where the main love interest is a violently abusive indigenous man? that sounds boring as shit. what would possess the writers of the show for them to make such an awful decision?

but then I think, if this many people believe it does that mean I'm the one who's wrong? or is it that the creators fumbled that storyline when they should have been clearer about it? or maybe it's just that most people on here have had their reading comprehension scorched away by Sherlock Holmes conspiracy theories and Steven Universe discourse. I can't tell. sometimes I think the internet may have been a mistake.

No they're wrong here's what's going on. People all read this shitty fic called Hell or High Water where Ed was everything the Izzy stans say he was and then instead of realizing that Ed is sad everyone regressed into thinking that the Kraken Era TM was going to be incredibly violent, like serial killing blond men because they look like Stede levels of violence. Even if you didn't read HoHW you saw art or read fic from people who had engaged with this fic and succumbed to it's premise. So there's been this background radiation of misunderstanding what the Kraken is on the fandom for several months. So inevitably when Ed did some mild violence and then attempted suicide by threatening murder until the crew took matters into their own hands, which is not abuse or torture by any stretch, btw, it's a murder-suicide at worst (I say at worst because I consider it fuckery-suicide I don't think Ed was trying to kill people I think he was trying to force them into a situation where they thought it was kill or be killed so that they would choose to kill him, but that is my interpretation and you are free to think it's a botched murder-suicide I have no problem with that), which, murder is something the show has never condemned and if it did it would be horribly inconsistent. So anyway, Ed's whole Kraken Era was categorized in the show by him being sad and doing so many drugs and begging someone please god anyone to kill him and trying to break Ned Low's record out of the evil boredom, but because it had a murder-suicide element to it and Izzy's toes were getting removed and he waved a gun around at everyone once (in a way that felt to me like he was trying and failing to work up the nerve to blow his own brains out but I digress) people who liked HoHW and were mad that people had called it out were like "see hes being violent HoHW author vindicated" as if anything Ed did rose to the level of that fic

And you want to know how I know this read is bullshit? Because when I watch the show with people who don't read fic or interact with the fandom and then I gauge their reactions without showing my hand they all implicitly understand that Ed is reacting to Izzy in a way appropriate to how pirate captains react to threats from subordinates. The spectrum of reactions has been from "hey isn't it weird how Ed was the Kraken because his dad was abusive and now he's the kraken because of Izzy? Maybe there's something there but idk" to "I don't think you can apply the logic of domestic abuse to a pirate captain and first mate but also Izzy had it coming" to "I cannot feel bad for Izzy after last season, I'm sorry." To "lmao Izcel" and I've showed this show to roughly everyone I know. The only thing I can conclude from the fact that people who don't engage with OFMD fic almost unilaterally thinking that Izzy is in the wrong and then coming online to see people thinking the opposite is that Izzy as victim and Ed as abuser is pure fanon, like how Stede is a cinnamon roll who talks like Azeriphael.

But anyway yeah you're completely right about the fact that this would be a bad show if they decided to make Ed into a domestic abuser. I don't want to watch a rom com about a domestic abuser falling in love and I don't want a show that decided to make it's indigenous lead abusive when the stereotype of indigenous men as abusers is still to this day used as an excuse to separate indigenous children from their families and put them with white Christians in order to erase their culture. Good thing OFMD didn't make Ed abusive, so I still like the show.

[bowieandqueen11]

Seductress / Izzy Hands Imagine

Request: Hi i was wondering if you could do an izzy x reader where lucius purposely tries to make izzy jealous (it works btw) the rest is up to you also could the reader have gender neutral pronouns so everyone can share the fun! Thank you for fueling the hyperfixation fire! Lots of love 💕

Aww lovely that's so kind of you, thank you!! I love writing Lucius being a little shit (affectionate) towards Izzy lmao we love a flirty bestie!

Warning: Nothing too graphic but NSFW, some sexual innuendos and some strong language!

(I do not own OFMD or its characters, all rights go to creators. Gif credit goes to @dizzy-izzy-hands.)

☆.。.:・°☆.。.:・°

You should have known rightly from that tell-tale smirk that Lucius had nothing good planned.

The man had barely been able to sit still all day. He seemed to have taken it upon himself to be as much of a nuisance as possible: must have unwrapped himself from Black Pete's arms that morning, sat up with wide stretching arms and a smile as ferocious as the jaded depths of Davy Jones' locker itself as he decided, with an assertive nod to the rest of the crew, to cause as much mischief as he could that day.

After all, Lucius, the king of pickpocketing, was more than acute at spotting stolen glances from miles away. Of noting darting looks; that morning, as he had sipped his orange juice and observed Izzy over the rim of his glass, it hadn't escaped his notice how he had almost- god, so he had been so close to not losing his nerve. He had warbled, almost swaying from side to side as Izzy plundered the depths of his mind to try and find the courage to sit and have breakfast on your other side, but as soon as you had raised your eyes curiously to see what he had been doing, he jolted back as if electrocuted and scurried off back to the deck. Lucius' sigh had been frustrated enough to blow bubbles of juice out and splatter them onto your already scowling face.

Nor had he missed the lingering wistfulness shrouding Izzy's eyes that same afternoon: the way he had watched you from the rigging of the Revenge, clinging onto the rope as if for dear life any time you passed him by. From helping Roach roll more barrels of dried meat down into the kitchen, or nearly keeling yourself over the edge of the ship to avoid Edward and Stede's impromptu sword fighting lesson, Izzy had been almost... calm. Placated? Silent? Bashful, Lucius thought, as he had watched the man's fist squeeze so tightly into a ball he thought the leather might tear down the seams right there and then. With a hand on his hip and a huff in your direction, Lucius was getting incredibly fed up of being the only one to notice how bashfully Izzy tried to look anywhere else when your eyes met. How your voice cracked when he had come sliding up to you, hammer looking quite menacing as he thumped it against his palm and asked you why you had made it your life's work to cross Izzy's line of vision any time you could.

'This has been going on for weeeeeks, when are you two just going to stop pretending you don't want to slam each other into the wall until you're gasping for air every time you see each other', he had groaned, throwing his head back and trying to beckon Wee John over to give his concerns some backing. The man, too busy sewing a hole in his trousers back together, and having enough sense to fear for his life with the way Izzy was glaring daggers his way, quickly shook his head and buried it back down in the mottled fabric.

'I have no idea what you're talking about', you had replied curtly, effectively ending the conversation. Even if he had flared his nostrils and thwacked you teasingly over the head with the long edge of his sleeve, a blind man would have been able to see the glimmer in your eye as you looked hopefully in Izzy's direction.

No, this man really did not miss a thing. And it was beginning to drive you insane.

Thankfully, he had been gracious enough to already warn you ahead of time about his brand new spanking plan to get this idiot of a first mate to admit his feelings for you. About how, once Stede had informed the crew that they would be stopping off on a little island called 'Tangerine Grove' during the sunset, so he and Ed could have their daily constitutional through the silver gleams cast by pale tree light only the rock hidden away behind the tip of Blindman's Cove could bring, a lightbulb had gone off in Lucius' head.

Which is how you had ended up here: shivering under the growing violet wisps of dusk that splattered the spring sky, sitting alone along an unfamiliar stretch of beach, wishing you could rescind your acceptance of Lucius' excited plan and instead go join your friends as they ran, barefoot, through the wet grains and wrestled each other into the waves. Only Izzy was still standing apart, looking entirely uncomfortable as he rubbed his jaw against his shoulder. Without even realising, he found his heel to be tapping a thousand miles per minute upon the ground: a horrid itching sensation spiking its way up his legs as he tried his best to look nonchalantly towards the dipping curve of the sun. To look anywhere else apart from at you. God, he fucking hated the way you made him feel so... fragile. So stunted. Even Edward had encouraged him that morning to try and express his lingering feelings to you, but a harrowing hatred had pierced his heart and caged the words from escaping their writhing chambers.

Hatred at how foolish he felt running away. Hatred at how Edward teased him, despite seeming like a lovesick idiot for a stupid twat that would be seem like shit scraped off the bottom of his boot compared to you. Hatred at how vulnerable he felt. Hatred for himself. For how he had been the harbinger of his own ruination. How, in the end, his misery was no one's fault but his own.

'Well now', Lucius enunciates in a sing song voice, clucking his tongue at the end. You almost jump out of your skin as he appears before you, drawn away from watching Izzy's face contort in flashes of fury as Lucius' torso replaces your view. His furrowed brow and pursed lips almost endue him with a sage like intensity, as he dips his head and shoots you an almost sympathetic frown.

He waggles his eyebrows as he perches down on the cragged rocks lining the shoreline next to you. 'What do we have here, then? Little Y/n, sitting here on this god forsaken rock with stupid arse over there too emotionally gagged to come keep you company. How tragic. Do you think the stick up his bum stops him from walking over here? Or maybe it's-'

'Lucius, you really don't have to do this.' You grab onto his arm, almost pleading with him through the frantic batting of your eyelashes, but Lucius just pats your fingers and intertwines them within his own. Laying your hands on his lap, he cocks his head and carefully strokes a path down your knuckles.

'Anything for my bestie', he winks, before glancing rather conspicuously behind his shoulder to trace Izzy's path. 'Besides, if that man doesn't just admit his feelings, one of us is going to end up kicking him up the arse. And as much as I would love that to be me, I want one of my favourite people in the whole world to be happy more. Trust me, I’m fantastic at forcing two knobheaded people to admit their true feelings for each other.'

’Oi, I'm not a kno-’, you try to retort with a roll of your eyes, but are stopped short by Lucius grabbing the bottom of your chin like crab pincers digging into your skin, and has already turned your face so your nose is lined up directly with his mouth.

'You know, it's been a long time since I sketched you.' His fingers dart up your face, walking their way up your cheek until Lucius brushed his knuckles back down to your jawline. 'If you like', he leans closer to you and purses his lips, 'we could fill the rest of Stede's journal right up.' He makes sure his voice is loud enough - sultry enough, that even Roach perks his head up from where he's laying starfish on the shoreline.

There we go.

Bingo.

A muscle in Izzy's tense jaw jumps: a minute twitch, but enough to let a far too smug looking Lucius know that he's on the right track.

'Or if that's not your jam, I know something else we can do', he leans in closer so his lips move against the shell of your ear with each word, and despite yourself your back rolls with shivers at the warm blows against your inner ear. 'Roach clued me in to some hidden compartments Stede had built into the ship. No more audience - just us, if you catch my drift', he finishes with an accentuating wink and kiss to the back of your hand.

The sound of a high pitched whistling even made Frenchie and the Swede pause their scuttling in the dirt for starfish, whipping their heads under their arms and burying themselves in the sand as they waited for the cannon fire to land. Nothing came, though. Instead, the sound only grew louder... and louder... until everyone was glancing uneasily up at the puffy clouds, waiting for a cleft to appear through the weaving pink breeze.

Only you and Lucius knew to look inland, rather than up at the heavens.

And there he stood: the incoming hit. The seething tempest. The washed up wreck.

The poor man was already fuming. If he bit his tongue an inch harder, the blood would begin to pour out of the corners of the man's mouth as if he had willingly swallowed arsenic, and was allowing it to fester in the recesses of his heart. Anything, anything would be better than letting it tremble. So blood it is. Down the poison willingly goes.

You would have been able to hear the sigh that blew out from Izzy’s flaring nostrils from the crow’s nest. Forget that: you’d be able to feel the burning steam radiating off his near vibrating body from the next continent. With each passing second Izzy could feel his heart decaying in pulsing oozes through his chest cavity. And with every smile, every lingering brush of someone else's fingers on your skin, the rot residing in his soul became that little bit more mutilating. The touch of Lucius' pointer finger against your cupid's bow finally goaded his insides to slither out in a body wracking convulsion: his heart finally mouldering out through the corner of his eyes in snaking tendrils.

He finds his feet pounding across the horizon before the rational part of his brain could try to keep up. Lucius barely has time to register the swarm of black buzzing in front of his face before claws have dug into his striped shirt and have hoisted him up like a ragdoll. The feel of Izzy's teeth baring against his nose is enough even to make Lucius' head recoil.

'Get your fucking little, dirty, clawed rat hands the fuck away from them.' Izzy spits at Lucius' boots, content only when the man grimaced and took a hop backwards and away from his lacerating fingers.

'What's your problem, Dizzy Izzy', Lucius hisses back, hunching down onto his haunches and resting his hands treacherously on your shoulders: far too close, as he squeezes you reassuringly. Too damn fucking close, for Izzy's taste. 'Just because it's not your fingers, doesn't mean you have to be so jealous. We don't own each other on this ship. If you're interested, all you have to do is say.'

'Who says I'm fucking jealous', he tries to shrug, but his voice is strained. Wracked. He's obviously trying to stop himself melting to your feet and placating himself at your shrine right there and then, ready to die under your heel.

Izzy glances uncertainly along the ground, doing his best to seem as straight laced as usual, but growing more and more discourteous in his manner at the way Lucius grins at his growing discomfort. 'Oh come on, you wouldn't mind if Y/n and I headed back to the ship right now, right? After all, Dizzy Izzy doesn't get jealous. He wouldn't care if he could hear screaming coming from-'

'You shut your fucking mouth.' He shoves a thick finger into Lucius' chest, nearly toppling over himself trying to get his arm in to separate the man from your back.

'Or what?', Lucius replies, trying to keep his grip by your neck while also trying to bat off Izzy's slicing hands. He manages to pull back and wring his hand out right before Izzy bared his teeth and took a chunk out of it. 'What are you going to do, Izzy? Give me a lashing? I'm sure you'd love to do that to Y/n. Or maybe for them to do that to you - I've always known you were a mas-'

'You little. Fucking. Tease.' Despite the ferocity of his words as he spits them out from his serpent tongue, the tenderness of his fingers as he reaches down to grip your wrist surprises you. He tugs you up, taking a step around your body as if to shield you from the gratified smirk Lucius is radiating.

'I could destroy you, you know, and everyone would thank me for it. Because that's what you do, isn't it?' He was trying his best to sound as bratty as possible, but there was an almost imperceptible shake in his fingers as he tightened his grip on your wrist. 'A proper little seductress. Using and destroying perfect things.'

'Perfect?', you whisper out from behind his back, your hand coming up to touch your lips as if you could taste the sweetness dripping off the word. Izzy's brows furrow as he curses himself. Fuck. He's fucking done it now. What kind of sap will you think he is? Standing there with knees nearly knocking before you, some kind of fucking pirate with his squeaky voice and thumb circling delicate paths along your wrist.

'Do you really mean that?', you ask, the eagerness in your tone enough to make Izzy's breath falter in the back of his throat. He nearly chokes on it, but finds just enough to pant out the truest words left in his rotten body.

'I... meant, what I said.'

You flash your eyes toward him in surprise, but the man is already staring directly at you. What you were surprised about though, were the tears that were shrouding the usual piercing glare of his irises. He looked almost… childlike. Mythical. Almost pitiable, standing on the long stretch of mist, feet crushing into the grains of sand as if he were willing himself to stay anchored, to not fade away with his tears into the spray of mist.

A man strung up by the tendrils of heart, doomed to stay wanting, waiting, fading into the rays of light.

It was almost phantasmal. And as you used your free hand to cup Izzy's cheek, it was almost enough for him to trick him into believing that he was alive again.

Even Lucius’ mouth drops down into a surprised ‘oh’ as a lone tear manages to tear a ragged path down the first mate’s sullen cheek.

He snorts, raising his eyes to the piercing blue skyline and trying to blink the tears back past his eyelashes. It's when the whining starts: the soft, pitiable howls of a kicked man being held for the first time of his life, that the patchwork mould surrounding what's left of Israel Hands' inner sanctum begins to crack away. He burrows himself into the warm, welcoming palm of your hand, allowing the water to flow over the bud of his nose.

Before your feet could even register that they were moving, Izzy has dragged you away from Lucius and into the shade of a nearby orange tree. A few fireflies began to peek their heads out from between the stout leaves at the disturbance: like honey dripping down from bowed boughs, brushing kindly against Izzy's glowing cheeks and making him seem almost saint-like as they gathered around his head. The sound of your shipmates begins to blur into the distance as the singing is replaced by the wretched pants of Izzy's breath.

He slams your back against the curved bark of the tree, sliding his boots in front of yours and leaning his body over you, effectively trapping you between the scratchy bark and the heaving muscle of his abdomen. You shiver, unsure if it's due to the champagne bubbles lapping their way towards your bare feet, or the feel of Izzy raising the wrist he's almost bruising above your head, no longer trying to hide the fact he's holding you in place against his body.

'Why do you stay around such unsavoury characters.' The bastard bares his teeth at you. God, he was enjoying this far too much. Enjoying raising his knee until the bone nearly kneaded against your groin. Enjoying using his free hand to grip onto your jaw just as Lucius had done, but far needier. He digs into your skin as he tilts your head back, and you can feel his smirk branding it’s way into the bare strip of skin between the nape or your neck and the hollow of your earlobe as he leans down to whisper: 'A fine creature such as yourself should be careful of deranged creatures like that. They slink out of the depths like demons. So perverse.'

Fucker makes sure to run his lips from your shoulder blade right up to your pulse point first, though.

'You should thank me for saving you from his depravity.'

'Oh of course', you begin to smile, playing along with his little fable. His little knight in shining armour tale, so he didn't break apart so easily. 'I have to thank you. You've been watching me for a while, haven't you? Taking care of me from afar...', you take a chance while he's distracted breathing in your scent to dip down and nip at his earlobe.

His legs start to waver then, and with a quick reflex that had got you onto Stede’s crew in the first place, you manage to steady him with a hand placed around the firm muscle of his waist.

'I did my best to save you from that seductress.' His teeth clash against your bottom lip in an almost wantonly manner, hovering his mouth over yours. It takes almost all of his self control to seem like he’s seething as his nose pokes against yours; it takes every piercing shred of self restraint he has to not wet your bottom lip with his tongue.

As tough as he thinks he's being, he’s not incredibly subtle in his thoughts and temptations, if the way he can’t stop staring at your mouth is anything to go by. Something wild makes his eyes gloss over: a tightly leashed repression, a long tempered heartache burrowing their way out of his eyes until he can barely hold back the parasitic tears.

His mouth trembles as it falls open, 'you deserve someone proper. Someone better-', he swallows thickly, eyes darting quickly between your own and back down to your widening lips. 'Someone better than them. Someone better than me-'

He looks wonderstruck, and you can't bear just to see its ferity anymore. You have to taste it. And if the manic glint in his eye is anything to go by, Izzy is in exactly the same boat.

His words are quickly enveloped by your mouth. He gasps against your tongue, his own quivering as an overwhelming rush of pure love gushed through him like the rips of a storm. He wastes no time: afraid this was a trick, a prank, a cruel mirage, his mind still trapped in one of his restless, far too fleeting dreams. He lips frantically latch, smother, tug, overwhelm you until you can barely breathe. Can barely feel. Your eyes flicker close in bliss as he allows you a moment of respite from all his pent-up want, his all consuming need, planting a trail of open mouth kisses followed by wide planted licks down your throat.

The slide of your feet against the trim of his steadying boot is a welcome relief from the burn of Izzy's hand as he grips onto your waist like a man possessed. His fingers clench, nearly lifting your lower half up to grind against his abdomen, stopping himself only at the last second and lowering you back down into his unforgiving grip.

You almost gasp when you feel your name roll of his tongue and reverberate through your neck in a hoarse moan. He tries to subdue his embarrassment by finally... finally reaching up and lacing the fingers clawing at your wrist within your own. If he wasn't too busy devouring the bare stretch of skin between your neck and your breast, Izzy perhaps might have felt embarrassed by the way his pelvis was bucking up wildly, leather slapping lewdly up against your inner thigh.

But he isn't embarrassed. He doesn't feel anything at all, except for a coursing rush of life flow through his veins for the first time in years.

He crumbles against you, surprisingly gentle as he claws and kneads and mewls into you, his lips dragging down and over to the side of your jaw now with quick, tempered nicks. His hand lets go of yours to trail down your inner palm, a shit eating grin branding its way into your chest as it traces down your arm, and then quickly falls so both hands are squeezing tightly into the meat of your waist. He bites down at your skin, incisors almost drawing blood against your pec. He swipes his tongue against the cut in apology, sucking against the skin as his trousers bounce up and tighten at the sound of you mewling. You scramble your free hand onto his shoulder to try and keep yourself in place, the man ravishing you so forcefully the tips of your toes could barely touch the ground.

Your full weight is resting on his torso, happy to let yourself flop over his shoulders and allow easier access for him to litter hickeys along the sinews of your throat. He does so gladly, making sure on his way to lift his hands and move them to slap down on your buttocks with a squeeze that leaves you reeling.

You're too busy whimpering at the feel of Izzy's inner thigh beginning to bulge against your crotch to feel the sting, his leather trousers beginning to tent in an uncomfortable way that made his biceps squirm as he wrapped them around your back. To mask the sharp barks that he begins to whine, he bites onto your bottom lip and pulls it down with his teeth, until he's satisfied that his tongue has full access to delve down your throat.

You quickly pull back and glance behind Izzy's head when you hear a sing-song 'you're welcome!' and vindicated hum of Lucius receding into the distance.

For someone who saw Lucius as such a threat, Izzy Hands could be quite the little seductress himself.

[ribread03]

pool day. bsf!Nick(platonic) x reader x crush!Matt PT.2

warnings: Smut, fluff, teasing, Head m receiving, unprotected sex (wrap before you tap)

AN: Finally getting around to writing part 2 of this. Also Im doing this rather than writing an essay for my English class lol.

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He suddenly pulls away looking at your neck. His fingers brush over the spot he was just attacking with his mouth. "Hope you have some make up with you" He says as he turns around and leaves you there on the counter, alone, after he built up all that tension.

Getting off of the counter you change and walk up to Nick's room to say bye to him. "Bye Nick, I really need to go. Thanks for the bathing suit again." You say before you hug him and head out to your car.

When you reach your car you remember about the deep red, and purple marks on your neck. You are really hoping Nick didn't notice them, but it's Nick so he probably did. Slapping yourself in the face you back out of their drive way.

~~

Walking into your house you drop your bag and head straight to your bathroom. Turning the shower on, -the water being a thousand degrees-. Stepping into the shower you relaxed into the hot water. Grabbing your phone you open the music app and turn on your shower playlist.

About 5 minutes go by and you get a text from Nick. "Shit" you say out loud. You open it not really know what to expect. When you open it you see a photo of Matt but its from far away. Along with the photo is a text that says "This dude has not stopped talking for the past 2 hours. Wanna tell me anything?"

Stepping out of the shower and texting him back you don't really know what to say because you cant tell Nick that his brother gave you hickeys in the bathroom, and was praising you about the way you looked in the bathing suit that Nick got you. So you just reply with a simple "I don't know why he is like that. Idk why you are asking me?"

"I DONT KNOW Y/N. MAYBE BECAUSE YOU WALKED INTO MY ROOM WITH HICKEYS WHEN YOU CAME TO SAY BYE! GIRL AND YOU WHERE ALL FLUSHED TOO..." Nick quickly responds to your lame excuse for a lie. "and after you left I came down stairs to see Matt talking to Chris and you'll be happy to know it was about you."

Walking into your room now blushing from embarrassment and the fact that Matt was talking about me, I try to come up with a good reply to send Nick but I really can't think of any before another text pops up on my phone. It's Chris, the message is not what you expected "Matt only seems to be talking about you btw, and he's really blushing... what did you do with my brother y/n?"

Not know what to say to either of the brothers you decide to tell them some. How Matt said that you looked good in the bikini that Nick gave to you and that you should like it because it made your body look good. But you didn't tell them how he gave you the hickeys and how he left you sexually frustrated and having to deal with it on your own in the shower before they wanted to start blowing up your phone.

Nick is now blowing up your phone even more than before. Asking you to tell him everything because he knows who gave you the hickeys. "Tell me everything y/n! But not to much... that's still my brother you're talking about." So I go on to tell him everything, still in my towel.

~~

Now you are fully dressed, between texting them and trying to get dressed you've lost track of how this even all happened. Deciding to text Matt to ask him what the fuck just happened, your phone pings in your hand. Rolling your eyes you open the text and smile a little when you see it is from Matt. "Im coming over, be there in 5." You didn't expect him to be this up front and out of no where with this type of text.

"Ok.. front door is unlocked just come in." You text him back. Now you're rushing around your house to straighten it up, first your living room, then your room and bathroom. Running around your house going from room to room. Changing into your nice pajamas you go to the kitchen to get a snack. Then you hear the door open. Thinking to yourself that 5 minutes went by really quick.

"y/n?" you hear Matt say from the door.

"In the kitchen!" You say loud enough for him to hear but making sure to yell.

You hear Matt start to walk over to you. Feeling his presence behind you, you turn around to face him now. "Hey." He's standing over top of you, close enough to you to feel the heat coming through his clothes onto your body.

You can feel the tension building "Hi" You say just above a whisper. Not wanting to ruin this little moment

"What are you making?" He questions.

"I was just getting a snack before I headed back to my room to watch a movie, but you text me so I didn't go back to my room." You slightly ramble trying to make up and excuse to figure out why he is here.

"Sorry, I can leave if you had plans to do something." He pauses for a moment. "They were just really starting to get on my nerves." Referring to his brothers makes you think back to the text messages you were getting not even 45 minutes ago.

"Matt, you can stay." You say stopping him before he starts to ramble on.

"You sure?" He ask just trying to be nice but now you feel like this conversation is started in drag on.

Taking Matt's hand you lead him to your room. Going to your bed you flop down with the bag of chips in your hand. Matt is now looking at you standing 5 feet away from the bed. Patting the spot next to you inviting Matt to come and sit, he does.

"What movie you wanna watch?" Trying to ignore the throbbing that is going on in-between your legs now.

"Its up to you honestly, whatever movie you planned on watching before I came over." Matt say.

"Oh, ok then." you say a little surprise about what he said because he always wants to pick the movies or he's doesn't really get into them. So putting on your cheesy romance movie you scoot closer to him so he can have some chips as well. Feeling Matt flinch when your thighs meet sends tingles up your back for some reason.

~~

About 45 minutes into the movie you feel someone looking at you. You know who it is but you still decide you look over at Matt. When you eyes meet he doesn't look away, instead he crashes his lips onto yours. Your eyes go wide for a moment defiantly not expecting him to kiss you like that. Kissing him back your hand finds its way to the back of his neck, pulling lightly on the hair at the base of it.

This makes Matt moan into the kiss, sending shivers down your throat. Taking this as your chance to move so now your straddling him. Feeling is hard on under you, you pull away. "This okay?" You ask before slowly moving your hand down his chest down to his dick. Never breaking eye contact with him as he nods his head yes and pulls his bottom lip in-between his teeth.

Your now palming him through his pants. A moan escapes his lips making you clench around nothings. Watching as his eyebrows push together you slide your whole body down, so now your face is level with his dick. Unbuckling his pants you look up at him asking him for permission with your eyes. He nods yes again. You continue to unclothe his lower half until his dick springs up out of his boxers.

Your eyes get big when you see how big he really is. You have heard rumors about his size but you thought that people were over exaggerating, but you were wrong. Looking back and forth between his eyes and his dick.

His tip is red and leaking pre cum just from you touching him in his pants. Puckering your lips together you let a little drop of saliva fall on his tip. This action making him whimper and head fall back. Slowly bringing your thumb up to the slit you slide the saliva down the length starting to pump him a bit before taking his tip into your mouth.

Matts hands go right to your hair when you fully take him in your mouth gaging a bit when he pushes your head down by mistake. "K-keep go-going." He moans out when you hollow out your cheeks. Humming before you pull off of him. Matt letting out a despite cry when you do this makes you giggle a bit.

"Dont worry Matt, you'll get there." You say before grabbing his hand and bringing it down towards your heat, and where you needed him the most. Moaning when he slightly touches you through your panties.

"Can I touch you y/n?" He ask making sure its ok even tho you moved his hand there.

"Yes Matt, pl-please touch me" your practically begging to have his fingers in you at this point.

With this Matt moves you onto your back so that he is now over top of you. Pulling you panties and tiny shorts down throwing them somewhere on the floor. He brings his fingers to your clit moving them fast making you arch your back and start moaning his name.

You feel Matts finger suddenly insert into you causing you to moan his name. "Ma-matt k-keep going. Pl-please." Begging him to let you cum. His fingers move faster as he is trying to get you to your high.

"There you go. Come on, cum for me y/n" Feeling the coil snap as you cum around his fingers. Moaning nonsense as you come down from your high.

You wanted nothing more for Matt to be inside of you right now. "Matt?" you whisper

"Yeah?" He says in-between kissing your neck.

"Im ready, can we.." You trail off but Matt knows exactly what you mean as he pulls his shirt off and helps you with yours.

"You sure?" He ask again.

"Yes, just please, I need you Matt." begging for him to be inside of you once again.

With this Matt Slowing starts to play with your entrance with his tip. Slowly he starts to slide into you. At first its painful due to the sheer size of him but slowly it turns into pleasure. Once he bottoms out your both whispering messes, feeling his fill you so much. He fills you more than anyone ever has before.

Trying to rock your hips against his he takes this as a sign to start moving. Thrusting into you Matt groans as he starts to move faster. Your hands find his hair and tug lightly. Moaning his name and other nonsense of sounds coming out of your mouth.

Feeling close to a second high you squeeze around him. "Matt, Im close." You manage to get.

"Me to princess."

The word princess is enough to make you cum all over Matt dick. Moaning as he is still pounding into you chasing his own high. The stimulation is becoming to much as you try to pull away, but Matt's strong grip on your waist hold you down onto the bed. "Matt, cum inside of me."

With your word Matt is cumming within seconds. Falling on top of you catching his breath as you catch yours. Lifting his head Matt plants small kisses all over your face. Pulling out of you, you whimper with the loss of him being inside of you.

Once you two have both catch your breath, you finally decide to ask the question that's been killing you since he text you. "Matt? Why did you even come over here in the first place?"

He rolls over to face you. "To be honest y/n.. I really couldn't stop thinking about you, and Nick saw the hickeys and wouldn't stop bothering me about them because we went to the bathroom at the same time."

"I mean, you did give me the hickeys. Hes not wrong about that." you say with a giggle.

Planting a kiss on your lips Matt gets up from the bed and walks over to the bathroom. Coming back out with a damp washcloth in his hand to help clean you up. Smiling to yourself as you watch Matt pick up the clothes and throw them into your dirty clothes bin.

"Can I spend the night with you?"

"Of course Matt."

~~

After a little while you and Matt decide to watch a movie, falling asleep not to far into it. Tangled up in each other's arms, not a care in the world.

~~

Walking up to giggles in your room, you are met with a camera in your face with Nick and Chris behind it. Putting your hand up to block it you roll over and snuggle back into Matt's chest, giving Nick and Chris the finger at the same time.

Matt is awake not even two minutes after you are. Now whisper yelling at his brothers to get out so you can get dressed. This causes them so shout and whistle at Matt as they walk out of the room.

After you and Matt gets changed, Matt walks out of the room to go and talk to his brothers. You have no idea what he is saying to them so you have no choice to sit and wait for him to come back.

About five minutes go by when you hear Chris yelling your name. "YOU AND Y/N!" Now really curious about what is going on you quietly walk out of your room and peep your head around the corner.

You see Matt smiling blushing like crazy, Chris is still shocked at the fact his brother made a move on you, and Nick is sitting there fake gagging while giving his brother a high five for making a move.

You see Matt starting to walk back so you go to turn around and go back into your room like you've been there the whole time. "Where are you going to miss y/n?" You stop in your tracks and turn on your heel.

"No where.." You say with a slight smile which gives away your lie.

Matt grabs your hand pulls you closer to him. "y/n, y/l/n... Will you be my girlfriend?" You gasp at what Matt just said. Wiping your eyes you nod your head yes

"Yes, yes! A million times yes!" you say throwing your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss.

Gagging is coming from the next room. Nick... of course he is gagging at us. Running over and hugging Nick you thank him for the bathing suit that just got you a boyfriend and sex. Gagging in response he hugs you back.

"Hey! I pushed him to go into the bathroom with you..." Chris says feeling left out. You go over to him and whisper in his ear. "Did you also tell him to leave me high and dry in there?" backing away from him he's smiling. Hitting him on the arm "You're such an ass"

You feel hands grab your waist now. You turn around a meet Matt, giving him a quick kiss, and earning a gag from Nick. You say bye to the boys and walk out to the car with them. "Bye, Ill be over tomorrow."

"Okay" Matt says with a cheeky smile, winking at you.

"Bye y/n, see you tomorrow." Both Nick and Chris say at the same time.

Watching Matt pull out of the driveway you smile to yourself, thinking about how lucky you got to have Matt in your life.

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AN pt2: This literally took me so long to write and idky but I hope you like it. This is my first time writing smut so Im not sure how I feel about writing it yet so bare with me.. anyway I hope you liked this. OKAY BYE<3

[sol-consort]

Repost of an ask I accidentally deleted.

Pov: You're a turian discovering this new sapient species broadcasting their whole location to the galaxy very loudly and decide to go down to investigate the humans.

Humans are like a rubber ball, which is what the first contact war proved. The harder you throw them, the harder they bounce back, and the next thing you know, all of your loyal turian population are sending creepy fanmail letters to the cute human news reporters.

The fact that we express joy by showing our teeth probably is something that never sat well with the turians ever, huh?

Also POV: you're the Councillors meeting the human team sent to you trying to convince you on why they should have an embassy right next door and please let them in the citidal please please please please please please-

We Don't bite .Often. We are silly little guys let us in come on. We have been STARVED for any galactic connections. Please we were this close to blowing each other up with nuclear weapons.

Ignore that last bit. Hahaha. Ha. So let us in! Friends! We are friends, let's be friends now. Tell us how you guys reproduce and what you eat. We have cats! We have chocolate, and we have produced more porn than a single human can consume in their lifetime! We have everything you need so let us join the partyyyy.

We've brought beer :) You don't have that, right? Let us in, and we will give you all the food we've made.

Humans annoying their way into getting an embassy so soon is very hilarious.

Because you know damn well that our politicians played the first contact war card and guilt tripped the council into letting us sit on the big kids' table after the turian bullied us to hell and back. We brought the waterworks and pretended they really hurt our feelings just to get the shiny human embassy office.

It didn't matter that they threw us in some random office next to the elcor and the embassies food court. You know damn well none of the humans stayed on the office and they're constantly annoying their neighbour embassies or the citidal tower instead.

Hell, we even stooped so low to accept being called the council's new favourite pet race just so we can get all the benefits and jumpstart our integration into the galaxy.

Constantly asking questions. Constantly touching things. Constantly asking to eat this and drink that without regards to if it will kill us or not.

That's how they found out humans had the most diverse genetics btw, before they could get any tests done on the humans with viable results, they found the said humans eating everything they come across and updating a google docs sheet of things they tried that haven't killed them yet.

The doc is shared between all the humans on the Citidal, and everyone adds their updates. Some even tried inedible stuff just to see, because what if space plastic is different than our plastic? Sure, they ended up in emergency care, but it was so worth it.

The humans are very impatient, and the other races quickly learned. They want something done, and they want to do it now, and they want to get the gratification immediately! They make the salarians look like monks despite their short life spans

In the span of a year, earth humans were sending in job applications to different colonies and planets, ones they haven't even visited yet.

By the span of 5 years, humans successfully spread through the galaxy and you always find one nearby. It's harder not to spot a human than it is to spot them.

How do you find out if the person wearing this armour is an asari or a human? Simple, just wait.

The human will announce it themselves by doing some dumb shit like twirling the loaded gun in their hand to do a really sick trick they saw on the human social media app, tiktok.

Udina was a little shit, yes, but you know that man was knocking on the councillors' doors every day at 3am. to show them his powerpoint presentation on why humans deserve a seat on the council.

Humans fit wherever you put them. They eat everything, they can handle most temperatures. they only need oxygen and some sleep, and they're good to go!

It's hard for the aliens to predict just what type of human any given one of us they meet could be.

There's just too many to keep track of. The most rude person and the nicest person a turian have met are both humans.

They want to see the stars, they want to take pictures, they want to stare at pretty sunsets on different planets and they want to speak to aliens, hug them and learn more about them

They're burning bright like a star, wanting so much all the time. It's intimidating to the other races how hungry humans are for information and connection that they come across as a bully. Their friendly nature gets misunderstood and their kind gestures gets questioned for ulterior motives.

Because humans love helping, it's in our genetic code as a tribal species. We love feeling useful for the tribe and fulfilling others needs. We love giving someone a sip of our drink, opening the door for someone else, picking up a stray empty can and throwing it in the trash.

Going on useful fetch missions just to see someone else smile, hearing a stranger vent because we have been there, smiling at people we make eye contact with, giving compliments and laughing at jokes we overheard from strangers.

We are social, be it online or offline. We love others, we love loving others and we want others to love us back. Each human is so different yet so similar, some of us will feel more at home with the aliens than with other humans while others might not even stomach leaving earth

We are also...kinda of feral in a way? We don't notice it because we're surrounded by humans.

But if you look closely, so many of our traits are animalistic and could be perceived as scary by an alien that had thousands of years to evolve past them. Our hardware is still relatively new, and an update won't come for a long time.

The hugging. the yelling, the dancing, playing tag. games of chase. We evolved from predetors, our eyes are trained to follow a single target precisely.

Rough playing with your friends, enjoying throwing objects and catching it like a ball, enjoying tearing through food with our teeth. Hell we look like predators, we act like ones too.

We're not like worker bees, like turians who always give their all to everything they do.

No, we preserve energy, then lunge at our target the second it's gaurd falls down. A persistent predator that wears you down rather than overpowering you like a krogan

Btw, Korgans evolved from prey because of where their eyes are placed. Only predetors have forward facing eyes to focus on a single thing, the wider one's vision is the more likely they used to be a prey animal.

Side note, but Krogans would probably taste kinda good bc of that, predators' meat evolves to be shrivled and bitter. While Krogans have a literal hump full of food nutrition! Turians would taste bad unless chicken in that case... CHICKEN.

So do you think Hanar and Drell find it adorable that we used to be aquatic?

Anyway so-

In a single decade, humanity successfully integrated fully into the galaxy and joined the Andromeda project to explore the new one. We're like the opposite of hanar. So many other races achieved less than half of what we did in ten times the amount of years

Because we need social contact, it's vital for our survival as much as the sun is. It's our drive for exploring and hoping for aliens, for some other race out there we could befriend and learn about.

New things give us such a rush of dopamine and we're constantly chasing it with stars in our eyes.

In a way, the aliens probably felt the most special after meeting the humans. To have a race so interested in you and learning about you and appreciating your culture. To have thousands if not millions of humans ready to dedicate their lives to documenting you just because you happened to be the prettiest race in their eyes.

Like I'd gladly throw my life away to study the Drell.

And we things other races don't! We party harder funny enough.

A turian mentions it in ME2. How most alcoholic beverages everyone uses today, was invented by humans. How it seems like humans found out every intoxication there is and let it spread like wildfire to others. Out endless libraries of music, the videogames we've made, the art, the instruments we play.

And a Salarian mentions how human food is their favourite. Don't the Hanar also like our sushi? funny enough.

We're infectious. Easily accept anyone and everyone into our groups if we happened to click with them, we even befriended the animals on our planets enough to care for them like our own children.

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

@alliioop Ummmm???? UMMMM??

(text: Also imagine this as the beginning of Kate x 141 where gaz gets in on it cause he takes Kate on a date where they bust a human trafficking ring and she comes back to ghost and price like we have to marry him and then Johnny finds out and pouts and whines about being left out until Kate just makes out with him to shut him)

Loving thissss. Price is secretly like "yesss fist pump" about Gaz. And Ghost is also a little pouty. What about his sergeant, eh? Just going to leave Johnny out? All alone? He's going to be insufferable. (So he's going to be normal?). Kate WILL NOT be peer pressured into another boyfriend/husband she WILL NOT, three is QUITE enough thank you (I think quite is one of those words that has different connotations on either side of the pond. she means NOPE THAT'S PLENTY and the guys hear "three is actually not enough")

And then she and Johnny blow something up (he was whining immediately before this about feeling left out btw) and she's like shit. They were right. Grabs him by his tac vest and lays one on him that he eagerly reciprocates. Winds up with Price, Ghost, and Gaz standing over them until they realize they're not alone and all three of them being smug as hell because they TOLD her. Which, well. They don't have to be rude about it, you know she doesn't have to have sex with ANY of you

(More pouting from Soap because he "didnae do anything, bonnie!! Why'm I getting punished???")

Soap would be such a dork about it. Will tell complete strangers "that's my girl" vendors at farmers markets BEWARE he will not shut up about her. He's a hype man at heart. Soap is also the only one who will cyberbully Captain America with her

Kate and Gaz would do fashion/ootd tiktoks. The other guys are like it's dinner not a vogue photo shoot (to YOU. not to me and Gaz we're different) Gaz wouldn't be as into it on his own but Kate is an enabler so they judge big fashion events together. The Met Gala is like the superbowl for them. They watch the Oscars and Grammys but ONLY the red carpet. I'm so serious about this. Gaz treats it the same as the World Cup. Snack and drink prep? Exactly the same. Yelling at the TV? you know it. He and Kate snuggled up on the couch heckling the E! reporters. Soap will ask them sarcastic fashion questions that they don't clock as sarcastic. He loves setting them off. (Shortest question with the longest answer? "What's wrong with Chanel?" Yes, he keeps track)

I love the "person gets aggressively hit on while out and their significant other terrifies the creep away" trope which is primo with every member of the 141 and Kate but Kate is also terrifying and very defensive of her boys and again Soap LOVES this shit. Eats it up. Someone hits on Soap at a bar or club and he's trying to give a polite brush off and it's not working. Kate comes up and glowers at the other person, slipping her arm around his waist. Soap, who is at minimum a head taller than her, just curls into her, tucking his face into her neck all hiiii bonnie, my hero :))) clings to her like a limpet. A barnacle.

Kate Big Spoon agenda. Soap loves being little spoon. Can and has picked up his jetpack and simply carried around a sleeping Kate clinging to his back. has also done this, flopped down on the couch, facedown, with Kate still on his back. Kate wakes up SO disoriented. Ghost and Gaz have picked her up and moved her to her/their bed at various times. They're all terrified about what a heavy sleeper she is until they're actually out on a mission of some kind and Soap does some ridiculous little tiny kitten sneeze and she bolts up ready to run

gaz and kate skincare dates

[upinthecloudss]

kentin ramblings + some hc's

he has been itching a scratch in my brain i can't begin to comprehend just yet so here you go ;)

this is a MONSTER POST let me tell you so beware under the cut

also it is like,,, 1 a.m by the time that i have finished writing this so apologies if the quality of writing isn't the best

btw i haven't watched much of the AL content so forgive me if this is not canon compliant

HSL ramblings:

candy convinced him to get into therapy to sort out his - everything that surfaced in his arc with evan

wth was that btw it felt so out of character

but it kinda made sense

because evan made kentin resurface the 'persona' that he had to put out to his military school peers

i read in TV tropes i believe that his 'classmates' in military school did sm messed up shit to him - like making him drink toilet water or locking him out during a snowy night - maybe it's mentioned in-game i cannot remember for the life of me

prolly why he doesn't like talking about it with anyone :(

candy and his mom eventually made him open up about the bullying there

he felt weak admitting to it and he felt that he was letting his father down

we know that he was sent there to deal with bullies and it was done out of his dad's worries and best interest but the message that he sent out to him was essentially _ "you are bullied because you are weak"

so his persona to avoid bullying in that school was something that he associated with strength

but it was essentially just his fragile masculinity and insecurities exposed to the MAX level holy shit

candy is better than me sticking with him through all that

i forgive him i swear

he just needs to figure out being more comfortable with himself

he never really told his dad about those experiences until adulthood

or about going to therapy

he didn't feel too comfortable with showing his emotional side to people besides his mom or candy (maybe the twins but much further along the line in university or something - I REJECT ANY UL CANON I'M SORRY)

my hc is that the evan arc took place a bit before school ended (so not during final exams) so that kentin didn't end up on a bad note with everyone in school

issued a public apology to everyone he disrespected

candy and ALEXY (big emphasis on him) insisted he did and he couldn't help but agree

to rosa specially, that scene in the mall was DISGUSTING

he felt that it was a bit of a blow to his ego because he was never too comfortable with being so emotionally 'bare' in front of people he isn't close with

ofc it took some time for certain people to warm up to him but they put it behind them eventually when he proved himself to try to improve his issues

*sigh* gang, it all goes back to his dad i'm afraid

his dad was very well meaning but kentin felt that he had to put on a character to satisfy him

adding onto this, i feel that his insecurities stem from all the passing comments from his dad adding up over time and him getting the wrong ideas about how he should act as a man

as well as from his experiences in military school ofc

so we get a boy that felt that he needed to be this macho, non-emotional guy to be respected

since his dad was never home because of military he never saw him being too emotive so that reinforced his erroneous beliefs

he associated emotional vulnerability with his mother mostly and he came to associate being vulnerable = weak men who relied on their mothers

that's why he became closed off to even his mother after military school

that is so wrong tho nooo kentin don't break your poor mother's heart

he seems ashamed to be scared of castiel and like

i hc that castiel reminds him of the attitudes of his bullies in the past and that's why he's uneasy around him

ofc castiel would never really stoop that low but kentin has built a defense mechanism around people like him

also i feel that he feels the most 'threatened' by castiel because he sees him as all that his dad looks for in a man - getting out his emotions through the medium of being physically strong, bouts of irrational anger and being closed off emotionally

but my boy is a softie at heart and can't help if he sheds a tear if his friends tell them about how they are going through hard times

or if he get scared if someone raises his voice at him :(

he hates that side of him because he feels that it makes him 'less' of a man

he will figure it out later on dw

he knows he should sort out these issues - candy, his mother and his friends point out those parts of him and remind him that it's okay to let your walls down but it will take him some time to internalise it

genuinely don't think his dad meant anything bad when he tried to 'raise' kentin but he sent out all the wrong messages

i feel that the twins pick on him to: ofc get a reaction out of him, but also because they realise that he puts up unnecessary walls emotionally

they see right through him and they know that it would do him some good to accept that he is who he is - a scaredy but kind-hearted guy

since they grew up in a household where they were very much allowed to express themselves they want to pass on that 'wisdom' to their "emotionally constipated" friend (their words)

kentin's mother encourages him to be more in touch with his feelings but he can't help but associate that part of him with 'Ken' or his 'weaker' version

it's only when he learns to reconcile the two parts of him that he becomes a more emotionally-balanced person

but that's for him to come to the conclusion in therapy and over time with the support from his friends

Post-HSL ramblings:

i see him either becoming a dog trainer or something related to animals - in the manga, the response where candy wants to hug a koala gave you points for his route LMAO that was rlly funny to me

if he were to take on a major to 'settle down' like his parents may want him to (BOOO let him do whatever) i see him becoming a vet

is the type of s.o to bring animals home because they were alone in the streets

"they followed me home candy i swear"

they already have 3-4 animals living with them (mostly dogs)

big contibutor to local shelters and volunteers a whole lot

really into outdoor sports as long as they're relatively safe

would enjoy kayaking, as an example, but it might take more convincing to get him into bungee jumping

HATES spiders or any creepy crawlies - also got this idea from the fact that the choice where you say that you hate them in the manga gives you points in his favour lmao

candy is always the one to kill/kick insects out of the house

or they're just both climbing on furniture if there is one around, screaming at each other to do something

has become wayyy more comfortable with himself and his emotional nature

realises it's only natural and that he doesn't need to be a perfect 'macho' to be respected

because he never was in the first place - he didn't fool anyone in high school LMAO

that includes eventually letting close friends call him ken or other nicknames - to an extent, he still clocks it as disrespect or mocking if it's said in the wrong tone

looking at you alexy

it's all well intended i swear

or it means wearing his glasses in front of people more willingly

candy finds that side of him so attractive as well

who would've known that a man in touch with his feelings was x1000 more attractive than some persona that was always a 'perfect' macho in the eyes of society?

it's just who he is, and he learns to embrace it

General hc's - ramblings in the mix too ooops

this is based on the idea that him and candy are together and living in amoris btw - you can tell when u read them tho LMAO

cries at the 'married life' opening scene of UP sorry i don't make the rules

every. single. time.

he imagines it's him with his s.o and he can't handle it

he also feels so bad for carl too so it just adds up

so empathetic my sweet boy - if you cry he cries, if you laugh he does too and it's just his natural response to things

stays in close contact with alexy and armin after school - they are his closest friends as much as he hates to admit it

and they don't let him stay out of touch anyway - annoying bastards (lovingly)

because they accepted him for who he really was when he himself didn't

he has an agreement with alexy where they introduce each other to new things - kentin has to learn to bear understand the art of shopping sprees or goes to concerts of groups he has never heard of before and alexy goes with him to attempt an obstacle course for the first time (and not die trying) as well as volunteer at the local animal shelter)

alexy has moved on by now from his crush btw (prolly has a boyfriend by now who he met in uni) but he helps kentin come to terms with his sexuality

bi kentin btw

it's so interesting because alexy knew he was into men from an early age because his parents encouraged him to feel whatever he felt

and he knows the signs all too well

when he sees his best friend's eyes wander when a guy in the obstacle course with an impressive physique walks by (and even alex can't deny that he also stared) - he can barely control himself from commenting

because he KNOWSSS it's beyond admiring muscles, one gym rat to another

but he tries his best to let him come to terms with it on his own

because i shouldn't push it, he might be uncomfortable with the idea as of right now, no pressuring him alexy

since kentin pushed back his feelings for a big chunk of his life it is only very much into his early 20s when he starts allowing himself to feel is when he realises that like,,, girls prebby,,, but men also prebby,,,,

it's a long journey of him denying it to himself until he comes to an impromptu hangout with alexy close to tears because he doesn't know what to do or how to deal with those feelings

like, he knows he likes candy and is very much into her but he's starting to realise that maybe he had a puppy crush on that one guy in middle school before he started bullying him and hugh jackman has very impressive abs but he's been staring at pictures of him shirtless for way too long now and i think i dreamt that he picked me up bridal style last night and i felt the same flutter that i felt when i first saw candy back in middle school- this can't be normal alex what do i do- maybe i'm also into men what does this mean-

it is, in fact, very normal.

it doesn't even cross his mind that he maybe, just maybe, might be bisexual

he's just worried that he is lying to candy but he is SO SURE that he is into her he knows it

but he can't push away any longer those moments where he gets hot in the face at certain actors on screen or seeing a guy flex his muscles at the gym - he's not going to push his emotions back anymore

alexy gives him a quick hug to shut him up and to try to calm him down and they sit down together at the terrace of the cafe (not while candy is working there LMAO)

alexy assures him that candy would accept him no matter what

"she is also bi after all ken"

"what did you just say"

"...candy is bi? i assumed you knew given you've been dating for yea-"

"you think i'm bi??"

"I thought that what you did just now was come out to me in your weird, confusing way- WHAT ELSE WERE U THINKING-"

genuinely forgot the concept of bisexual men and that he could be a part of that demographic

internalised biphobia lowkey, highkey

they talk some things through over a cup of hot chocolate (alexy's treat)

eventually kentin comes to terms with it and tells candy

she is overjoyed at the fact that he came so far with accepting himself enough to come to terms with this part of himself

tbh she kind of suspected it anyway but didn't want to pressure him into admitting anything

also this obviously doesn't mean that they break up because it doesn't mean he likes candy any less

now they're just a bi x bi power couple

watching bridgerton or something: "babe omggg smash don't you agree?" ",,, are you talking to me?" "yea, i'm saying that jonathan bailey is attractive don't you think???" "..." "kentin." "... his smile is pretty nice" "I KNEW IT-"

they are mostly attracted to each other but it's a cute dynamic that they develop where candy tries to fluster him with different comments

he is not as enthusiastic in showing his attraction towards anyone else but candy anyway but she absolutely LOVES IT how his face goes red when a guy on-screen takes his shirt off (bridgerton wet shirt scene. my friends were screaming to me about it for days on end)

she loves it lowkey, because he reacts the same way, or gets even more red, when she takes off her shirt irl

she is so proud of him too especially because that also another thing that his dad probably wouldn't consider 'manly'

fuck that btw

he tells his mom first and she is obviously supportive - even if a bit surprised at first because the only thing she had seen him express was unconditional love for candy, a girl

she doesn't really get bisexuality at first either

"i thought that you were dating candy?" "that's not what i'm getting at, mom"

after some research on the internet she understands much, much better

she loves her son anyway, even if it saddens her to see how her husband and son can't seem to have a heart to heart

she knows how much kentin has and is suffering due to the fact that he never felt that he had a father figure to rely on - she insisted it so much to giles as their son grew up

she felt that it would have done her son wonders if he saw how sweet and caring his father is behind closed doors and how it didn't make him any less of a man

but they're both equally as stubborn when it comes to feelings

she feels that there isn't much more she can do besides wait for them to talk to each other

kentin eventually comes out to his dad but also it kinda flows out naturally as he tells him about therapy and all that bullying that he suffered through and all that he has worked on to improve on on a personal level but as a way to 'let him know' and 'not looking for his approval anymore'

he leaves before his dad can say anything - he has an unreadable expression on his face and kentin cannot stand it

but he doesn't need his dad's approval anymore

don't be fooled, he starts crying as soon as he is home in candy's arms

he felt very brave

stronger and braver than anything his dad had made him be when raising him

his dad comes to the unpleasant conclusion that something went terribly wrong with him as a father when he sees how uncomfortable his son is at admitting things about himself to his own father

it makes him reconsider some things for sure

his wife recognised that same expression of her husband being deep in thought from the time that their son had gotten home crying because he was being tormented in school by three nasty girls

she let him be alone with his thoughts for the evening

even though his wife had already told him about it, he never realised the extent of how little he knew his son

giles is the one to reach out the day after kentin left their living room with glistening eyes and a quivering lip after dropping all that he had been keeping to himself since god knows how long - he calls kentin and asks if they could meet up

he now begins to understand just how much his opinion actually means to his son, and he has come to the conclusion that they should speak:

not man to man, but father to son - for the first time ever

they meet up in the park under the pretext to take cookie out on a walk

and that day serves as the beggining of a promise to kentin that there will no longer be an estrangement between them as long as giles can prevent it

it's very hard for them to open up to each other - the 'feelings' conversation with each other feels so unnatural to them

giles doesn't immediately become 'father of the year' but they come to understand each other as father and son and how they felt during kentin's formative years

giles only wanted the best for his son, his baby boy, for him to not be disrespected by the scum of this earth, and all that he did he did in the name of protecting him

he felt that he needed to be a dependable, unwavering symbol of strength to kentin

but all that kentin wanted was for his father to see him and accept him and LOVE HIM for who he was, a boy with flaws and complex emotions who was trying to make his place in this scary and unforgiving world

and of course giles loves him

but the first time that kentin hears his father say it out loud he is 24 years old, he is sitting on a damp wooden bench, he's sobbing quietly on his dad's shoulder and they're hugging tightly and kentin has never been this close with his father neither physically nor emotionally

this doesn't close the metaphorical 'wound' but it helps them mend their strained relationship a bit by forming a scar over the damage already done

after coming out to the closest people in he life, he doesn't really make an announcement to everyone else but it helps him become even more comfortable with himself to openly express that part of him to people

moving on from the angst holy shit

i might write a one shot

mmmmmm cogs and gears in my head turning

ocassionally trains with nath or kim if they come across each other at the gym

he thought he wouldn't enjoy boxing because it reminds him of his military training but he finds that it's a tamer version of what he was trained for and he finds it kinda therapeutic

is very surprised at how nath can throw a very powerful punch tho

they have a kind of understanding for each other and their respective strained relationships with their fathers

kentin is one day making a funny face at his phone

"sorry, my dad texted" "... i get that, man"

even if they're not the closest, it's there

over time, he separates himself from the military lifestyle he was expected to have but still enjoys some aspects of it - camping, survival skills, knife throwing, sports in general... - he became more of a nerd when it came to those subjects for sure

e.g that scene with the knife in the manga, i couldn't stop myself from thinking he looked cute even while having a survival knife in his hands because he was just nerding out so hard lmaoo

enjoys doing his skincare with candy as a form of bonding

when she buys those shitty quality but cutely-shaped animal shaped masks he can't help but have a heart attack at all the comedogenic ingredients on them

he's an acne survivor yall

he likes going out and enjoying moving out in the sun but he will never say no to a night in watching movies and splurging on all candies imaginable

one thing he always does in his travels is trying a sweet native to the area he is visiting

when he comes back he always has a bag of them ready to be given as a present to his parents and close friends

enjoys anything chocolate-y

a bit of a problem when he lives with so many dogs

has baby locks on every cupboard

and has baby proofed his home for his pets too

morning person - he developed the custom to wake up at the crack ass of dawn

can also sleep anywhere and any time- if its a surface where he can close his eyes on, he will go zzz

sleeping until 9pm is considered SLEEPING IN for him

candy has to physically DRAG his ass back to bed when it's 7 a.m on a saturday and they have a long day of nothing ahead of them and he has the audacity to try to get out of his pyjamas before the sun is even fully up

"but- i should prepare breakfast" "you would burn the kitchen anyway, lets cuddle." "... not true, but okay"

when he hears about armin waking up at 2pm as a norm he shudders at the thought

also because his dad complained about him being lazy if he ever got up later than 8 so it's just hardwired into his brain

again small comments that turn out not to be so small HUH GILES

enjoys morning runs, or runs in general, to take out his dogs

burns super easily though so he learnt to put on tons of sunscreen at those times (guys there's still UV even when the sun is going up or down for the love of god protect yourselves)

one time in high school came into class with a red face and couldn't understand why the twins kept making lobster-related puns or comparing him to castiel's hair (???) until he looked into a mirror

came to candy in distress during break and she gave him her green-tinted bb cream to try to conceal the redness a little bit

only time his high school self wore anything resembling makeup - and even then he only put it on to spare him the torture that is the relentless teasing of the twins

he doesn't really wear makeup nowadays anyway but he doesn't mind the words 'tinted' when he puts on sunscreen stolen from candy's drawer

character development yay

his freckles appear more during sunnier times of the year

has tons of them on his back

candy counts them but since he's so ticklish he makes her stop pretty quickly

is a genuine disaster at baking sweets - never gets the amounts right and ends up with an unsalvageable, undercooked, somehow-burnt, blob of sugar and flour

candy is usually the one to bake him a batch of cookies every week even if he is embarassed to ask for it at all (and the fact that he finishes the whole batch in less than a week every time doesn't help)

she does it out of her own volition tho, she loves seeing how his eyes practially sparkle when he comes home to the smell of a fresh batch out of the oven

kentin is fine at cooking but prefers to be the one to wash the dishes and the kitchen instead

this was out of candy bullying him kindly discouraging him out of the kitchen until he "learnt how to use a spice that isn't pepper" and "didn't burn our kitchen down"

he loses his breath anytime she mentions anything "ours", he's so whipped yall

can probably cook those bland-ass military recipes and developed a taste that made him consider it acceptable 'food' when he moved into his own apartment and resorted to cooking for himself

candy and alexy are beyond horrified when they see him try to make soup with a singular boiled potato and some carrots - the seasoning being salt and onions ¡if he is feeling fancy

his mother and father actually cook really well so candy is baffled at how incompetent (lovingly) their son turned out in the kitchen when it came to flavour

moving on

he grew to love himself more beyond being 'obsessed' with candy

he came to realise that it probably wasn't healthy to have your s.o to be the guiding light of your life

and candy urged him to do so as well even if they are in a relationship together

it's all about the balance~

develops a love for stargazing, learns the names of all constellations and teaches candy along the way

candy draws any constellations she might find with kentin's freckles and he loves it (once again, ticklish, so it doesn't last too long until he burst out laughing at the feeling of her tracing her finger along his back)

loves loves lovess getting candy plushies

any cute plush he sees that reminds him even just a tad to candy? to the cart it goes!

they have a whole pile and it grows every week

candy had to limit him to a one-plush-a-month rule

so then he starts bringing teddies with a size that would be equal to 10 standard ones LMAO

low blow but candy can't deny his genius

1 - 0 she accepts the loss

they give away some of them to NGOs during the holidays because no one needs that many plushies - and they're all new anyway!

and he kinda admits that they're taking up way too much space for their student-sized apt

1 - 1 fair enough candy

the one plush that candy will never get rid of is her teddy bear from high school

he sleeps with them in bed every night

it kind of symbolises how far they have come since he gave her that plush

and the plushies are kind of a way to signify that he is constantly working to be better - for her but most importantly for himself

candy and kentin are the type of losers people to apologise to the plush and pepper it with kisses if they wake up and they find that it dropped to the floor overnight

kentin called candy 'his teddy bear' once as an accident and candy was both so cringed out but so delightedly flustered when he said it

she calls him that a lot now to embarass him

but also because he is quite literally one big teddy bear

i see kentin being the one to say ily first but it took all fibers in his very being to not do it as soon as he got together with candy

he didn't want to jump into anything with her that she might have been uncomfortable with

he's not proud of how he acted in middle school, because like

he professed his love to her so often before they even started dating that he feared that his professions of love might have lost meaning to her

he tries to say it only on very memorable ocassions - though he can't stop him from saying it on the daily

it may be while they're cuddling in the morning as they wake up

or when he hugs her from behind as she's making scrambled eggs

or when she comes home particularly excited because of some achievement in work and he is so proud and happy for her

but what says 'i love you' to candy the most is all that he does for her

so she doesn't mind the verbal reminders

because she knows that they're not devoid of meaning at all

alr that's enough good night yall kisses and love. mcl has sm writing potential holy shit

[hishighnesstheprincess]

MY HATER POST

literally made a hater post just to talk about stuff in the sonic series that I dont like ❤️ if you don't like this post then fuck you block and/or blow me. this is disorganized as fuck btw and i dont care

sonic frontiers was the best mainline sonic game in over a decade but thats really not saying much

i think tangle is kinda boring and whispangle is kinda boring by proxy. whispers cool tho

surge is the best rival sonic character since blaze and the only thing dragging her down is that sonic in the idw comics kinda sucks as a character

its great that we are getting more female characters in idw and the games but quite a lot of them are kinda boring and we still need more female villains

metal sonic is basically nothing but a jobber in idw rn and its really depressing

idw please treat the babylon rogues better, theyre goofy characters with serious storylines just like basically every other sonic character, stop making them NOTHING but a joke

lanolin is an interesting character, yall just cant handle women who are even SLIGHTLY rude to a fan favorite character

the worst part of idw is that its tied to game canon because they cant shake up the status quo too much or have character arcs for most of the main characters

rouge is ABSOLUTELY a sexualized character and always has been. learn to like a character despite the faults in how they are portrayed or shut up about it

sally was the best canon romantic partner for sonic and you cant change my mind

the second worst part of idw is the titular character himself

i dislike surg/amy because of the age difference andalso the fact that everyone wants to disregard surges character to have her be redeemed

if sega is going to keep teasing son/amy then they should just stop dancing around it and make them canon already, make the shippers happy and get the drawn out agony over with for the rest of us. also age amy up for the love of allthat is holy

also, sega should stop ship teasing ships they have no intention of making canon in general, its shitty and edges into queerbaiting when done with gay ships

the above does not apply to whispangle

idw art is overall much much MUCH better than any other sonic comic and its not even a contest

there are a lot of things i disagree with about the current state and direction of this franchise but we are in a much better place than we were even just two years ago and we should be glad for all this success

the worst parts of archie are the most atrocious things that this franchise has ever put out, in art, storytelling, basic morality, etc.

most of the popular ships in this fandom suck ass

unless sega stops rushing sonic team and actually gives some resources to them we are never going to get better than 7/10 games. corporations are not your friends and you dont have to thank them for giving you a mid product

sega should have been sued into oblivion for the literal seizure inducing state sonic colors ultimate was released in and we should never, ever let them forget it

remain skeptical about every single sonic game until release, we've had "WERE SO BACK" moments before that turned out to befalse

the edm in sonic frontiers cyberspace slaps but isnt as memorable as previous sonic soundtracks

stop ghosting sonics friends (sonic frontiers, sonic prime, sonic dream team) its kinda weird and puts way too much importance on sonic again. this is a good cast, USE THEM

sonic frontiers dlc being hard wasnt a bad thing, the jank, glitches, and lack of fairness were bad things that tarnished the experience

the games have never ever been properly translated from japanese into english and that is just an objective fact. but also dont shit on people for only having interest in the english version, you have to go WAY out of your way to get a good translation and that's on the franchise, not the fans

this franchise's "canon" has been fucked since the original classic games, trying to fix it in the sense that you can somehow make every little detail perfect is a lost cause. just pick and choose what you like

of all the characters that deserve a game to themselves blaze deserves it the most. girlie has a whole other dimension that we could explore can you IMAGINE an open world game in the sol dimension COME ON

if lots of people are criticizing something you like then you should give some consideration to the fact that they may have some points instead of just disregarding it as people being nitpicky and nasty. you dont have to listen to it but if you dont do that then you cant dismiss it out of hand either

the stories of sa1 and sa2 arent even the best stories in this franchise

06 sucks ass and no amount of "potential" means jackshit when it comes to actual quality. if we're just evaluating "potential" then congratulations everything ever made is a quality product have fun with that

its okay to games with goofier and lighthearted stories

team dark are just friends

i prefer amys hammer to the cards

let this franchise have its edge back. but also let sonic be cute. they arent mutually exclusive

keep good physics and momentum in the games for the love of god please its what this franchise was built on

sega of japan may do characterization better but the closest brushes to death that this franchise has ever had (Dreamcast, 06, Forces) were all on them as well

this might be the hottest take of all time but sonic team shares some of the blame in how a lot of sonic games turn out very bad, its not all on sega

stating that some sonic-inspired games (spark the electric jester and freedom planet) or sonic fan games (project 06) have turned out better than actual sonic games is kind of objectively correct but youre a dick if you say it just to make sonic fans feel bad about the games or themselves

if you ONLY consume sonic media you need to branch out more. for your own health please

flynn is neither the worst person to ever walk the surface of this planet or gods gift to the sonic fandom, practice some moderation in your opinions people

i think discourse is good, actually. except for when it harms people. and fictional characters do not count as people

sonic frontiers open world biomes are boring and nowhere close to most open world games, even ones from a decade ago

silver was never sonics rival

it would be nice if we could go back to having smaller games on handheld consoles coming out on a regular basis while mainline sonic games come out once every couple of years on a bigger scale and higher quality than weve been getting. and no locking games behind apple arcade PLEASE

sonic lost world isnt a terrible game or a good one. its just weird and boring

sonic riders was fun and its a travesty that it got downgraded into generic cart racing games

sonic unleashed daytime stages are the best boost stages in this entire franchise because they actually rely on quick decision making and reaction times instead of just smashing your way straight through the entire level with little to no effort

the werehog combat sucks ass and the fact that its super slow and super long and takes up like 75% of the time youre playing the game is why unleashed isnt peak. sorry

stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill stop using green hill STOP IT

a lot of fans of sonic do not understand what they are talking about and that includes me a LOT of the time

sonic himself cant just be whatever the writer wants him to be. the reason characters are characters is because they have certain character traits and you cant just change that without getting a different guy, im sorry

archiehad the worst moments but the sonic movies are the worst adaptation overall

the above will change if movie 3 kills off shadow or tom. then the worst adaptation will be underground

game sonic being a static character is cool, actually

sonic fandom is sexist as fuck and that includes the tumblr side of it

sage getting revived in a post credits scene was lame. give us more time before confirming shes alive

the sonic twitter takeovers are not canon. no, not even if you think a thing they said on it was funny

they should let female characters be naked (dont make this weird) and give the boy characters outfits sometimes

amy having a crush on sonic is totally fine but they took it WAAAAAYYYYYYYY too far at many, many points. i dont care if its funny amy threatening chris in x or intimidating cream in various games (battle, rush) was NEVER a good thing

rouges design does not need to be changed, it needs to be framed and posed in less sexual ways

rouges heroes and prime outfits sucked ngl like just from a color and design standpoint like theyre kinda ass and overcomplicated and an eyesore

if sega is gonna age the characters up they should actually go ahead and post the new ages on some official channel, dont just leave us in this horrible limbo where we have to argue with weirdos online about who youre morally okay to thirst over certain characters and whether a different voice counts as a character becoming an adult

the fact that the main official english sonic account only posts memes and advertises hilariously overpriced """"""""products"""""""" kinda sucks tbh. i have to go to other language accounts to get stuff like concept art and celebrating the anniversary of a game the released a year ago. were well past the era of laughing at sonic just for being sonic, now lets act like it

stop harrassing people involved with this series even if theyre doing an objectively bad job. thats a real person and you should care more about them than you do a fictional character

the above DOES apply to ken penders. hes a piece of shit but still a person

criticism =/= harrassment. this goes both ways

cream IS a hero thank you very much

reference to a thing you like does not equal good character writing. critically, it does not equal bad character writing either

amys not a damsel in distress and hasnt been in over 20 years. if we count characters just getting captured as being damseled then congratulations, sonic himself is a damsel in distress (Forces), apply that shit equally across both genders

ryan drummond was the best english va, but jason got the better scripts. roger is getting better and most of the work hes been given is just. bad. so i dont feel okay judging his work. but he is my least favorite

gameplay>story when it comes to the actual games, every time. if you have a good story to tell its only hampered by being in a shitty game

worst game in the series is sonic colors ultimate. say what you will about 06, forces, rise of lyric, or whatever other game. at least they werent literally physically dangerous to play

all the main female characters in the games are asskickers, they just need to be utilized more. as does every member of the supporting cast

the sonic franchise fucking needs to stop having long gone ancient civilizations. please have new ideas

this is the end of the list. go away

[xinhar]

♯ Karma.

What; When your lovely boyfriend, Scaramouche, also known as Kunikuzushi, was acting like a Karma itself.

Pairing: Scaramouche, reader

Note: This is based on the Karma song by Taylor Swift but make it my interpretation. I remember him at this song lmao. This has a series(?idk) btw, but it's still wip.

Karma era | Masterlist. | next.

And I keep my side of the street clean, you wouldn't know what I mean.

It was not even halfway through the day when the Balladeer- Scaramouche's voice started lingering in the heavy atmosphere. Brash and merciless nature of his doesn't make any surprise for you. Only able to shake your head as he roasts his subordinates again, it is not unusual for that. Come on, this is Scaramouche we're talking about!

"You scums! You couldn't even do my orders properly! What even is your use here in this world!?"

His screaming only sent the lower ranks fatui in shame as they bowed their heads down furthermore into the ground. Getting lectured by the sixth of the eleven harbingers? Come on, who wants that? But the main question is, will they just receive a mere lecture? Probably yes, probably not. Scaramouche is known to have a very low temper, what he wants is what he gets, this thing.. (the lower ranks) that he calls scum doesn't stop him from getting his goal.

"I'm feeling merciful today, I might spare you. Do the task properly or die." He sent a glare at all of them and dismissed them with a snap of a finger.

Sighing, Scaramouche took a glance at your form that is unbothered, atleast, what is it outside, but the look of your eyes told him that disappointment seeping through that pretty orbs of yours. With that, he slumps and clicks his tongue, going near you as you pursed your mouth and shaking your head slowly, he sighs.

"They really existed just for me to blow up, worst case is, you witnessed all of that." Disappointed click of his tongue made you sighed, shaking you head again, you slowly lock your arm on his. Trying to soothe him while also sweat-dropping. "Those useless piece of shit, they're literally a mistake."

"Come on, Kuni, it's okay..." It's not. But this is the only reason for him to calm down and don't think about it. It's not like...this haven't been happening almost everyday, still, you felt bad at them. Experiencing your lover's wrath like that...

He glances at you and raised a brow. Seeing you sweating a little, he sighed and lean away, crossing his arms, he narrowed his eyes at you. Oh no, here we go again.

"Don't lie."

"...I just felt bad." You quickly replied to defend yourself, with that he scoffs and rolls his eyes, walking ahead, only to catch up with him and wrap your arm around his then stayed quiet.

"You shouldn't feel bad, it's their fault for messing at the first place." He grumbles and both of you walks off, him walking like he owns the whole Teyvat; you silently sighed and shook your head. "Just forget about them, you're at my presence anyways."

"Kuni..."

Scaramouche's so-called-affections are weird, although, you wouldn't comment about it. You know better than to stay audible. You wouldn't want to mess with this harbinger too, if one thing people are confused about, it's the story of how did you meet and how did you manage to tame the beast. Oh well, you wouldn't have bother meddling in his affairs.

That's the least thing you would want.

[nonymous06]

JUST REMEMBERED

Anyways

Are they aware of their secret identities and all? Like...

*akuma* then it's like a groupchat between the welders and then it's

Gwen: there's an akuma btw when will you guys be here

Sierra :I think Trixx died..

Courtney: did you feed her

Sierra oh yea..

Courtney: Sierra!!

Heather: stop blowing up my phone I'm trying to do my nails 😒

Gwen: there's an akumatized villain keep doing your nails and there won't be a nail salon tomorrow

Courtney: where tf is Alejandro

Alejandro: where tf are you guys I'm getting my ass beaten up by some akumatized twink..

Gwen: lol

that was long

Anyways or is it like they just don't know and stuff..

Do they live in Canada still and are they Parisian now

Okay starting w the setting question - I have no clue. Probably from Paris because I find it impossible to separate miraculous from Paris in my head, like the way the set of the city works in the show is perfect for the aesthetic compared to cities elsewhere

And idk yet, I know for a fact that Alejandro and Gwen know the identities of all the secondary heroes outside of Heather - she's a unique case because she found the bee miraculous after it got lost before it could be given out (just like chloe in the og show did)((Heather did not reveal her identity because as soon as she realised it was a miraculous it became an advantage and therefore something that should be a secret)) however, Alejandro does not like having less information so one fight he avoids using his cataclysm and secretly follows her hntil she detransforms - he doesn't tell Miss Fortune but now he's got the identities of all the "secondary" heroes (brackets around secondary because as soon as they get their miraculous permanently they're main heroes in my head, it's just their miraculous are in the secondary wheel of the miracle box and then the like chicken and shit are in the tertiary wheel) -> Also! Alejandro finds out Heather's identity after they began getting close as heroes, so any of their academic rivals bias couldn't interfere since he's already softened to her abrasive personality

I think after a year of being holders Gwen and Alejandro trade identities because one fight nearly went horribly wrong due to identity shenanigans and they realised not knowing could get them in deep shit -> it is also this moment wherein he tells Gwen Heather's identity too as an "all facts on the board" moment of trust, he's actively giving up the information advantage showing that he trusts her not to turn it around on him or make him redundant (he's overcoming his fear of being replacable look at him go)

As for the gc idea, I love it and am making it canon but via burner accounts so they all use their hero names/identities (there are 2 gcs, one with the core ground of Alejandro, Gwen, Sierra, Courtney and Heather and then a much larger one w the rest of the hero cast)

Those burner accounts are probably how the heroes become mildly popular online (bcuz I'm a suckered for social media au's they're consistently so silly and funny just like chat fics)

I imagine the core gc has the stupidest nicknames too like Gwens being "Emo bug" or smt like that. Courtney sets Alejandros as "Faux Feline" (as a way to call him a fake bitch, because their friendship like that™️) and gets called "Forgotten Ninja Turtle" in vengence

[all444miles]

songs that remind me of atsv characters! (series)

summary: just me saying what artists atsv characters would listen to, songs by said artists that js scream "(character)", albums, and lyrics that just make it make sense, yk?

warnings: pretty small spoilers, i suggest you watch the movie before reading this, of course!

a/n: i'm not proofreading this, so there might be some spelling mistakes. sorry if you see any, but enjoy! i also don't expect this to blow up, but reblogs r appreciated! (i will make a pt.2 if this gets enough attention, btw)

miles morales (1610)

miles to me seems like a future, frank ocean, kendrick lamar, steve lacy, PARTYNEXTDOOR, brent faiyaz/sonder and a lil sza, cuz lets be fr, its sza, kinda guy. he's the kinda guy to love music for the meaning, as long as its got a good beat to it. now, song wise?

solo by future, for sure. you can just listen to it and be like "yeah, thats miles." especially the lyrics, "i been solo now, i've been goin solo now". reminds me when he says "nah, ima do my own thing" in the movie.

her way by partynextdoor. this song feels like a song he'd play while he's drawing (coughs, drawing gwen for the 70th time) the lyrics, "She wasn't on a roll, now she roll with a winner" reminds me of gwen n miles cuz at first, when they met, it was kind of just the two of em, but now she's out with the spider society (well, she was) with hobie and patvir, "rollin with winners."

miles + brent faiyaz = perfection. needed portrays miles when he finds out about his friends' betrayal perfectly. "you and your friends, rammed my name to the ground." makes you think about the scene where he realises they knew what would happen to his father all along.

infrunami by steve lacy. ive seen this on tiktok too many dayum times not to include it lmaoo gwen and miles. every word of that song screams gwen and miles, but esp "can you come back to me? cuz I was blind to see that you were right infront of me." just remember that scene where miles was upside down infront of gwen and moved closer to kiss her but didnt cuz he was invisible? yeah, those exact lyrics match that exact moment and we ALL know it!

Let 'em know by bryson tiller. Ian even gonna go into the details but we all know why. "mf im him" (miles is him and always will be fr)

long time - intro by playboi carti. i also will try not to go tm into details but "i aint felt like this in a long time, i aint had shit in a long time" cuz miles hasn't had that "its me, myself and i (corny ik)" kind of vibe in a while. and "i'd rather die before i come in last" but think of it in a sense than he'd rather die than stand back and let his dad pass.

this is how it feels by d4vd and laufey. no explanation needed (ive js been talking tm), gwen and miles and their relationship

open arms by sza! i also think this song really reminds me of gwen and miles but miles' character overall, yk? gwen and miles primarily because "i gotta let you go i must, you're the only one that's holding me down." that "goodbye gwen", the look on his face while he says it and those lyrics make alot of sense together.

and yk what? loveeeeee song by rihanna, cuz why not.

i'm not gonna go too much into details with this so album wise:

sonder son by brent faiyaz

sos (slightly) by sza

starboy and after hours by the weeknd

DAMN. by kendrick lamar

petals to thorns by d4vd

call me if you get lost by tyler, the creator

her loss (coughs, spin bout U) by drake

a/n 2: and, thats all! i hope y'all enjoyed these hcs and found them accurate, as i said ill make a pt2 if this gets enough recognition! see ya'll soon <3

©all444miles 2023

- likes, comments, asks, n reblogs are rlly appreciated ! <3

[431989]

more resident alien posting. predictions... spoilers so beware

well. i'm upset that the shows going to have a difficult time having more serious scenes now. and that's probably what it's going to try and set itself up for.

i reaaaally would have loved to see this show do something ACTUALLY different and good. by different i mean in terms of writing and not necessarily drifting from source material. yes i'm still sour over last ep, but i wouldn't be AS sour if everyone on the show didn't treat harry and asta's relationship as "mother and child." and also if the show didn't take such a nose dive into the type of comedy it's putting out.

ALSO? IN A RECENT INTERVIEW? Sheridan going on to state that harry would lose his first """love""" (more like lust. awesome that a show trying to teach human emotion gets those two things mixed up) and then realize there's love everywhere or something? why does this feel like "weird" people are forever left to the role of outcasts. already fucked it up once i guess the guy's trying to fuck it up more. could've just left it at "he'll lose his first love, then he will have to reconcile with his feelings." but he had to drop in that last corny bit.

like. the show's source is already good. i don't understand all these decisions they're making to try and make it seem "unique." and now to get numbers back they're dumbing it way down. WHICH. BY DOING SO. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE YOUR DRAMA? like how am i supposed to take anything seriously in the show. i *could* in season 1 and parts of season 2, but now it's just whatever. it's too goofed up for me to care. and now people who love the goofy won't give two shits about whatever message you want to drop or plot you want to develop. i dont give a shit about the greys!!! i dont care what theyre doing!!!! who gives a fuck if theyll blow up the earth. none of the characters really care anymore either. oh well!!!

also, predictions kind of. i'm not trying to say this will be the be all end all but it certainly could be a turn the show takes. in one of the issues of the comic (suicide blonde i think), harry is investigating the "suicide" of a woman. by the end of the issue, he catches up with her ex-lover and ex-roommate. they were both ladies. and the girl who died had a drinking problem btw. and was constantly seeing boys. i'm all for gay couples on screen as a gay guy myself but it'll feel so cheap to pair darcy and asta together despite the way theyve been played on screen. maybe its doable. i don't know. but i genuinely could care less considering the overall tone of the show's drifted more towards a sitcom than anything else. i think the small handful of 40+ year old gay wine moms would probably love it, but the vast majority of viewers wont. either they'll hate it and say it's forced diversity (there's already people saying that about the gay couple on screen this past episode) or it'll be another nothing moment to a further nothing story. if anything it'd feel one step removed from tokenization, considering they see harry as a manchild. ableism! show's trying to seem fucking wholesome but they can't be bothered to care about their nd viewers. like "haha look we have a main gay couple!!! what do you *mean* our show has rampant ableist tropes, we have a gay couple!"

i'm just so bummed. the show's cornered itself into a sitcom so meaningful moments aren't a thing anymore. plus the comparison of harry to a child is really getting at me. like he's a grown man as a human, and hes a grown alien thing as an alien. it's such a big slap in the face to any person who cherished the witty and unique story telling of the first season... like.... i don't know.... people who would've been fans of the comic too? i have small gripes about the comic, but at least it takes itself more seriously. but the show runners haaate the people who read the comics. why? i dont know. well maybe i do know. probably seen as too nerdy and weird for their idea of the show's viewerbase. despite the fucking basis of the show being weird and nerdy.

they couldve done the darcy asta thing better if they do go down that road. i'm just saying i wouldn't be surprised. they already scared off everyone who would've cared for something like that, so i don't know how they'll manage to find an audience that cares. everything in s1 was so organic and felt real!!!!! now its just!!! nothing!!!!!!!!!!

im also thinking about the fact that after posting that one resident alien drawing i did, i've had to block tons of people because they're freaks. loud and proud conservatives. man this shit sucks.

[sheena-isa-punkrocker]

GamerBoyfriend!Niragi HCs

because i feel like his game engineer background is so skipped over in this fandom 😭 these take place in pre-borderland btw minors i will kill you 🔫

he wears those blue light protector glasses (prescription of course, bby is far sighted) when he's working

he likes to show you his work! it may not seem like it, but he values your comments heavily. it gives him insight on what someone outside the industry thinks

LOVES to play video games with you! he finds it interesting to see what kind of games you like

can tell alot about your personality by the games and characters you choose. it makes him feel closer to you <3

obvs he loves fps (we're not surprised here 🙄)

if you don't know how to play fps's then he'll teach you but like... he's not the best teacher 😅

he expects you to get the hang of it easily and gets impatient when you don't

HOWEVER if you do a move flawlessly he'll compliment you

"Nice move there player 2..."

he's so smug, so proud of you

if you DO know how to play fps's ohohoho 👀👀👀

he thinks it's so hot when you annihilate the other team

definitely shouts insults at the other team through his headset on how much better you are then them

will also kill any player that shouts insults at you through the headset

"EAT SHIT, BASTARD!" *shoots enemy player*

as much as he loves being an undefeatable team with you, he also has a competitive streak

is a cheater lol it's niragi 🙄 he'll tickle you or tap your shoulder to distract you, laughs when you lose and denies cheating

pouts when you actually win, it's cute

you always kick his ass at mario kart

mans has never completed rainbow road don't tell arisu

now for some soft niragi??? 👀👀

one of his favorite things to do is sit you in his lap and just watch you play a game like breath of the wild or animal crossing or pokemon

it gives him a chance to turn off his brain for a while and just calm down <3

is surprisingly quiet during these times, just focused on you playing the game

refuses to play the game with you because it's "not the same when he does it"

sometimes when he finds a bug or glitch while playing a game he HAS to make a comment on it

"Who the fuck coded this game?! They're getting a complaint on Steam..."

it's cute to see him go on rants about the gaming industry. his coding and industry knowledge just flows out and it's nice to see him so passionate about his work

since he's in the industry, he has all the hook ups for early releases and discounts for any game you like again don't tell arisu

now for the nsfw 😈😈😈

niragi has a gift for making any situation sexual so it's no surprise we're here

sexual bets during competive games

if a person loses a round they have to take off one item of clothing 😏

seeing if you can win a round while he goes down on you 👀 if you lose you just have to try again~

(he claims it counts towards your training pfft)

amazingly he always wins when you give him oral when he plays. you stare at him in disbelief after he blows his load in your mouth and he's just like

"Oh, didn't believe me? We can always try again sweetheart..."

remember when i said he thinks it's hot when you kill enemy players?

yeah there's been numerous times where you've just mowed down like 20 of them and he has to pause the game to tackle you on the couch and just have you right there <3

the ps4 home screen music might as well be the soundtrack to your sex life

the first time you played mario kart was a bet and it turned into him losing and being butt ass naked on the couch. he made you promise to not tell a single soul

[amyisherenowitsokay]

Hi! I was re-reading the soulmate’s AU you did and I wondered how the story would have changed if our little fella saw underneath the wrist band sooner than he did. Like years prior or something? Like would he go bananas and go in denial or go bananas and try and tell her or he’d wait until he thought she would be ready to know? Because in the fic you made him more mature due of him kinda ‘growing up’ with everyone else so then I just wondered how his obnoxious little snot self would take it before he gained that maturity yk?

OOOOooooh I'm super into this question. Tysm for sending it in!

(Btw, this question references the ZAGR Soulmates AU from this fic, if anyone would like to check it out) Long answer under the cut, as I'm incapable of answering in short sentences.

If Zim had found out that he was Gaz's soulmate when they were kids, like let's say in the sort of maturity he was at during the cartoon, it would've been pretty disastrous lmao. Let's also assume he didn't find out during a moment when he could be interrupted, like in the fic.

Assuming that he understood what a human soulmate was in it's entirety when he found out, initially, he would've been very surprised. Shocked. He probably would've ran. Really solidified that it was what he thought it was before acting.

And then, IMMEDIATELY thereafter, he would've been incredibly smug. Gaz and Dib probably would've found out at the same time when he tried to use it to antagonize Dib. This would initially just be something that he could throw in his enemy's face. Some "Your planet is mine, Dib, and even your very sister is branded with my name!" kind of shit.

Gaz would fully have a crisis. Neither Membrane would initially believe him. Zim would probably do a lot of grandiose shit, like bringing Gaz huge bouquets of flowers solely to say something like "for my MATE" really loudly and smugly in front of Dib. It probably wouldn't initially even register that she was more than a tool to weaponize against Earth's self-proclaimed savior. Initially, the Membranes would realize that this bit of his was going on way too long. Dib would then make it his mission to learn to read Irken rather than just recognize the language waaaaay sooner than he would in the original AU to confirm that actually, yeah, Gaz's soulmate is Zim. Queue crisis for the humans.

Zim would eventually grow bored of the big showy displays. It's still really funny to him, but Dib also has other buttons to push, and he's got to keep all his insults fresh so he's not to be so predictable. Once he moves on though, it occurs to him that the end of the joke doesn't actually negate the fact that Gaz is still his soulmate. And just as stated in the AU, he has certain obligations towards her. He won't be dishonored by not fulfilling his end of the bond. An Irken caught neglecting their mate would be a laughingstock.

Gaz would start to notice the things he does to account for his obligations.

Minimoose starts hanging around her during large, explosion-worthy fights. She doesn't know why, and is pretty neutral about it, until a panicking citizen nearly runs into her. Minimoose's shield activates suddenly, protecting her, and leaving her really surprised. This happens whenever any debris, person, or other form of harm enters her vicinity. A couple times, Zim's robo-parents check her out of school and take her to his base. She doesn't see Zim, but she finds out later he was trying to blow up the campus again. She catches Minimoose or Gir hanging around her house when she's home alone. Sometimes, if she's in a rare good mood, she let's them hang out in her room while she does homework. Occasionally, she even talks to them.

She rarely, if ever, actually interacts with Zim. She gets the (correct) feeling pretty quickly that Zim's not really 'interested,' per se. That he's just doing his duty. The few times she does see him, like when he has to personally squirrel her to safety somewhere, they don't really acknowledge the elephant in the room. He just sort of watches her, and she mostly ignores him. It works for them. Nothing really changes, and that's just fine for both of them. Gaz might even prefer it. She'd probably end up assuming Zim was her soulmate because he was designed to just leave her alone.

Zim considers her a scary pet he has to keep an eye on. He sometimes eavesdrops on her conversations with his minions just because he can, and because he's curious. He doesn't really register it as bad or a progression of his interest in her. Just making sure his scary pet is fine. If he learns what snacks she prefers so that he can keep them in his base on the days he needs to kidnap her to keep her from bitching, well, whatever.

Eventually, Zim would inevitably kidnap her on a bad day. He'd interrupt something important, and she'd snap at him to just postpone whatever Big Evil Scheme(tm) he had that day. They'd argue about it, but eventually, Zim starts checking schemes against her schedule. He already (sort of) schedules schemes for convenient times for Dib, so that he enemy is not distracted by stupid things like homework or doctors appointments. It's not a big deal to check in with Gaz, too.

I think they'd be content with this small cordiality until Tak showed up. It'd just be too big of a catalyst not to matter. Whereas in the original AU, Zim is real sneaky out of necessity, in this situation where EVERYONE is aware of what's going on, Zim is WAAAYYY more territorial. It's one thing to screen and preemptively Gaz's social media from receiving messages from humans that could be interpreted as solicitous, but it's an entirely other for an Irken to actually show up and start spewing threats at her.

Suddenly Zim is alllll over her. Walks her to and from class. Camps outside on her roof, whether she knows it or not. Shoves an emergency beacon in her hands one afternoon with strict instructions to carry it around her at all times. When she tries to hand it back, unlike in the AU with that sweet, covert little bracelet as a 'casual gift,' she wakes up with a bracelet that literally cannot be removed attached to her wrist. Bitching about it gets her nowhere. Zim starts neglecting his fights with Dib to follow Gaz around and make sure Tak doesn't get the jump on her. It really grates on Gaz. Her worst fear was feeling like she was someone's property, and that's exactly how Zim is treating her. Like branded cattle.

Zim tries to contend with his responsibilities versus what he wants from Gaz. He's incredibly frustrated with her refusal to cooperate, and her lack of understanding. She's worse than obstinate, she's ungrateful. She should be honored that he's bothering to protect her! Why isn't she honored?!

I think that even after Tak and Dib worked out everything between them, Gaz and Zim would really not be on good terms. It was a great benefit for them to be mature-ish and working from a largely clean slate when they formalize their relationship. Having a ton of baggage and misunderstandings between them, especially with both of them being so headstrong and stubborn, would be a huge hurdle for them to overcome.

Legitimately and hilariously, I think Professor Membrane would have to be the intervening factor. Zim hanging around all the time would eventually mean they crossed paths not just as 'Dib's little foreign friend,' but as his daughter's mate. We saw in the Tak episode that Zim isn't about bitching to their father about his kids. I think Membrane would listen, and then stage an intervention with both of them. With Gaz, he'd sit her down an talk about their mother, and all the sappy love stuff that made it worth it for him to make compromises in his life to enjoy the time they had together. To Zim, he'd lecture him about the nature of his daughter, and how much she values her independence. How the loss of her mother made afraid of loss, and theorizing how their upbringing (aka his absence/neglect, without really taking accountability for it) may have affected her ability to trust the permanence of a soulmate.

I think that would finally be what made them sit down and work it out. It'd have to be a negotiation process. Zim can't always be out guarding Gaz. She needs her privacy. But as a compromise, she'd agree to scheduled check-ins. She'd agree to alert him to any potentially dangerous situations and let him come with. For example, it's my headcanon that Gaz would do a Membrane Labs internship in her college years. Zim would be there for any experiments that might go kaboom with a visitor's pass and a sharp eye. Instead of following Gaz around, they'd actually go on planned outings together. Date-adjacent hangouts until one or the other was comfortable with actual dates. It would've been a much slower, much less trusting and messy courtship, but they'd probably get to a good place when Gaz was in college.

Thinking of this question, I now like to think that, in this AU, on top of soulmate partners being fated, when they find out is also decided by some sort of cosmic destiny. Finding your partner at the right time is just as important as finding them in the first place.

Thank you again for sending me a hypothetical! I love theorizing about my own fics. This was a fun exercise.

[sams-venting]

I need to get this off my chest before I blow up at somebody 

But I know I did not just fucking watch someone try to say a fictional incest ship is worse than several real-life people getting groomed. Are you fucking serious. You are so lucky your ass was on anon motherfucker I would've hard blocked and reported your snide ass

I don't give a shit which 'side' you're on. I don't care what you think about whatever drama of the week is going on. I know my ass, who has actively had to report CSEM photos to National Center for Missing and Exploited Children Cyber Tipline, did not just fucking watch you compare a disgusting ship, to actual teens being sexually coerced

I can't fucking believe you. We out here really prioritizing fictional characters over real breathing human beings

Get this, I am completely against pro shipping. I am just as repulsed by people looking at siblings or parents and deciding they should fuck for the silly dynamics of it as the next guy, it's fucking despicable. But I know I did not just your ass saying it's more harmful and creepy than your friend over there diddling real people almost half his age. Are you fcuking kidding me. 

And, before you start assuming shit, I again am on 'no side'. I don't give a fuck about the entire situation outside of people once again, conveniently dragging the victims of the gore anons into more bullshit. 

I am not blind to the fact none of this would've went down had a stalker not went digging for shit. No one would've known about the original doc a year ago had a suspected gore anon not stirred the pot after the callout post that got sent to the VAs. That was purposeful manipulation. No doubt about it. They wanted to pull up anything and everything on one of the few people that was trying to defend those that were getting harassed because of the big blogs. You'd have to be either really young, or really stupid to not've seen that bigger picture 

I also don't fucking trust ANYONE that makes a callout / awareness post for ANY REASON. I don't care who you are. As a quotev veteran of 7 years, someone who watched their friend get dogpiled on by big blogs 3 years ago in the Sonic fandom bc how dare a minor be uncomfortable with public porn of minor characters on tumblr, seen kids purposely catfish adults in the MHA quotev fandom so they could frame them for pedophilia any time their advances were put to a stop, the entire Revie and Jasper situation in the FNF vs Sonic.exe corner of twitter where one adult was partially framed once again by a kid that couldn't handle being told no, meanwhile the other had legit CP on their computer come to find out and was the Actual danger in the fandom 

So imagine my reaction of trying to escape to the fnafsb fandom and to tsams. Here 👏 we 👏 fucking 👏 go 👏 again. It's like everyone was born yesterday and baby spanking new to the Internet. How has No One learned the consequences of their actions. Adults included btw, just as childish if not worse than the teens that haven't learn basic internet etiquette. What the fuck is your excuse you're in your 20s, how is your media literacy This low mf. Smh 

All I can say is thank God I've decided to grow and mature as a person. And by that, coming to the conclusion that everything is ultimately ✨none of my fucking business✨ 

Bc guess what, it ain't. Just bc people airing out the dirty laundry does not mean I need to get involved and throw myself to the drama wolves. Sometimes, I don't need to have an opinion. Sometimes, if I do have an opinion, I know to keep it to myself unless I'm asked for it by my therapist or friends (and not anons guys I am begging you to not get baited by trolls please for the love of all things holy. Assume good faith in strangers, but never in anons. They use innocent questions all the time to pull a gotcha) 

Ultimately? All sides are guilty of some level of shit, end of discussion. 1) I already had beef with with the whole 'ur pd is showing' on a personal level. I will never forgive for that. In no scenario with strangers is that ever fucking okay. 2) I ain't gonna let the little fibs slide. I've seen the screenshots in the newest doc, I've compared the posts. A liar is a liar. 3) I personally don't like nor trust em. Didn't originally, definitely don't now. But again I acknowledge that's a personal decision. 4) I did not fucking like seeing people stalk the gore anon victims once again just so they can dig up scraps to support their persecution of their past abuser. 5) I am in no way denying the abuse they did infact go through. It was horrible to see, and I can only empathize with my own trauma from abusive relationships. 6) I am also however acknowledging that trying to drive them off of social media is not a realistic solution and is infact anti-recovery. So some of you are infact a hypocrite for wanting to abolish prisons and then pulling This kind of shit. Revenge is not justice. 7) if you wanna cut someone out of your life, you have to stop talking about them and 'looking out for their potential victims' or you're just going to feed the flames of drama. Be the bigger person and put down the stick if you're tired of the burn. This goes for everyone btw. 8) for the record I would not be Nearly as on the fence as I am rn if it weren't for [redacted] having learned this behavior from also being a victim of somebody else. It is incredibly common for those that have been groomed and/or abused in the past to then continue to seek out those same types of relationships. Especially if they never learned the why or how said relationships were fucked up in the first place. 

9) it is no one's place to decide if other people are allowed to give someone a second or third chance to be a better person. Idgaf if they're a victim or not. You do not have the right to dictate who talks to who. That is red flag toxic yaoi shit my dear friend. I, do not agree with a few of my mutuals chosing to befriend or forgive them. But I also know it is not my fucking place to tell them to do different. It is not my place to control who is with who for whatever reason. I don't like it, I don't agree with it, but I ain't gonna start shit talking left and right, throwing my opinions all about, and force them to do as I do. 

This is where the maturity clarity thing comes in btw. I don't like it. I have a bad feeling about it. I don't agree with these decisions my mutuals have made. But you know what? ✨It's none of my fucking business✨ and I mean it. That means, after I'm done venting here I'm dropping the topic. That means, just bc I don't like them that I'm gonna start bad mouthing to my mutuals about their friend. You don't go to your bestie and shit talk about their boyfriend right to them, that's messed up af. And this is no different 

Also, sidenote, fuck all y'all for using stranger's posts on the internet to drag someone else's name through the mud and reposting them to a doc without consent. Which Did happen to me with the big blogs vs confessions btw. I am still, very much not okay about that and I can't believe that's happening to other ppl too but for a different call-out. 

but fucking, trying to compare a fictional ship and saying it's worse than people who got groomed?

You are on razor thin fucking ice. Pull your head out of your ass, shut up, and sit the hell down before you spout any more stupid shit for the love of God. That about pisses me off more than anything right now I'm so livid. And I've been silently seething with rage since August so that's not to be taken lightly

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[P.S. thank you to mod for being a place ppl can go to, idk what I would've done since I don't have therapy till next week. Sorry if I don't make any sense whatsoever btw, I am tired, it is 1 am, and my bpd ass is extremely emotional rn with no viable outlet except here. I am aware that reality is not what it seems past midnight as I am prone to delusion, so I'm genuinely not allowed to *talk* talk to ppl this late at night for everyone's well being, including myself. So again: thank you. Hope you're doing well, in spite of everything going on. Drinking water, petting cats, monching bread, etc, and letting the small things in life into your heart to spread wonder. Have a good night]

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