#don't rly need to tag this i just want to show off

[floorpancakes]

I Lost Focus and Had a Consensual Vintage Shop Spending Spree

yep u read that right . 25 euros,

mom said it looks like something from a kids tv show back in the 60s and she had this slightly doubtful look on her face and all i could say was like. 'you know me this is a good thing. this matches literally everything i own' lol

this being the most expensive thing in my cart when it would be sold at like £150 at the stores I visit locally is crazy actually

I focused on rare stuff that will fit me not too far in the future or now so I bagged a rly pretty 60s dress?!!!!?!?? That was XL size and various size friendly?!?? It won't fit me now but it's like 10cm off my current waist measurement which is pretty neato, obviously the fit requires you're a bit smaller than that but im glad to have finally bagged a legit 60s dress so quick and cheaply wah...

I also got....an L size pan pride flag coloured mens light jacket ....that ZIPS OFF THE SLEEVES....THIS IS SUCH EXCELLENT TOMFOOLERY!!! i respect the whimsy of it being multiway very useful

also...an XXL surf friendly windbreaker jacket that LOOKS LIKE IT COMES RIGHT FROM SPLAT 3 like straight up it's taking from the exact same vibes and is 150 round measurement so it should be nice and comfy w/e the clothes size... iridescent pretty...

I also got a nb coded baseball shirt!!! I love baseball shirts theyre so comfy and easily utilised, I have a bright green one, a pale blue coolish sponsor one and this

mens 80s mint gym shirt!!!!

I have a thing where I'm trying to track down 80s specific cuts of tops especially sports ones since a lot straight up aren't manufactured in that shape anymore, it's a slow quest but I'll get more someday

Also got this vintage gym top!!!! Pretty...

spent like. £80 in total which is insane actually given that would be a bargain for the overalls alone i gotta take it easy spending for potential friend plans but that's ok by me I feel like this would get way less in my local vintage stores

turns out they dont ship to the UK so i had to go thru a friend but its cool he does the same with me sometimes. im just so excited for these to turn up 😭 we are so back

[phagodyke]

I mostly just scroll thru blog subs when im on mobile bc I follow too many ppl on here so I add mutuals etc there n then turn off notifs so it's like the creme de la creme of the dash anyway if u see me in ur notes more its bc I forgor to add some of u on there until recently sorry 😭😭

[catsfor2]

hit me, part 3

wc: 2k, unedited warnings: swearing, injury tags:@pampeop@evangelinejxy@itwasnight@@elliewilliamsmunch@intrnetdoll@me-and-your-husband@3zae-zae3@milahnoz@elliescumm@dragonasflowercrown@starpix@nopealoupe@annamommyy@muthafuckingstargirl a/n: i rly wanted this to be so much longer but i think im a little burnt out rn im sorry guys! either way i hope u enjoy this part, its still fun i think!!

-j

part 1

part 1.5

part 2

part 2.5

"Are you—un-fucking-believable," Ellie spits, hand raking through her hair and chucking her phone to the floor. "They're taking my fucking money. My fucking money."

"What? What's happening?" you ask, now watching from your bed as she paces back an forth across your rug.

"They're lowering my fucking cut. Fucking—Jesus, these fucking dicks. I don't know what to do." she says, bending down to pick her phone back up.

"Why would they do that? Is there a...reason, at least?"

"I—shit, probably? They didn't say exactly. Just said it was a 'reputation issue'. Whatever that fucking means." Ellie sighs. She sits back down on the bed. She then speaks again, but quieter.

"They're just mad I don't wanna be their fuckin' show monkey. I shut that bullshit down right away."

"...What do you mean?" you ask.

"They wanted to...basically brand me as the 'club dyke'. Wanted the announcer to say like, all this weird shit when I got up to the ring. Wanted to name a fuckin' drink after me. It was called, like, 'Lady Lover's Special' or something fuckin' stupid like that. I told em' no."

"Oh—well I'm glad you said no. That's...fucked up, of them." you tell her, eyes focused on hers.

"I know. But I—" her phone pings, and she must know just by the sound who it is, as she picks it up to check the message immediately.

Her face pinches, eyes darting across the screen as she reads.

"They're saying—they're saying if I do this fight...tonight, then they...won't lower it. Huh." She finishes, eyes scanning the words a couple more times.

"That seems...manipulative. I feel like they just wanted you to do this fight the whole time." you say skeptically.

"Yeah, obviously. They're fucking snakes. Stupid ones, though." She says, bouncing up off your bed and pulling her coat around herself. "I'm gonna do the fight."

"What—seriously? They basically forced you!" you argue, reaching upwards and pulling back on her sleeve.

She exhales a long breath, before taking your hand and placing it back on the bed. Her face moves close to yours, gently and kindly.

"I need the money, ok? And—" she pauses, eyes lighting up like she just remembered something. Her lips break into a subtle smile. "you'll be there, won't you? I'm in good hands."

You turn your head, cheeks heating, and try to remain impartial.

"Ellie, you don't even...know who you're fighting. That by itself is a—a monumental-sized risk."

"It doesn't matter who I'm fighting, princess." She assures, both hands now cradling at the base of your neck. Her voice gets low and calm next to your ear.

"I'm fuckin' undefeated. It's gonna stay that way."

---------------------------------------------

Seeing Ellie fight was...intense. Her body is wicked, a cord of muscle that rips through the ring. She's springy. A curated whip of strength, and far more resilient than you thought would be humanly possible. It was difficult to follow her movements, her jabs, cuts, kicks, and everything else, as they were done with impeccable speed.

And yet, through the chaos of this combat, you remember distinctly how her eyes would meet yours, finding you amidst the crowd. Talking to you wordlessly. Reassuring you. Before she'd enter the fight once again, deftly averting her gaze from yours and body thrusting itself strategically into battle. She was a predator, simply put. And you saw the brutal effects of it once the fight was over.

-----------------------------------------------

"I'm still—fuck—still—ow, fuck—"

"Ellie. Stop moving." you chide, hands having to maneuver her head straight again.

"Undef—I'm undefeated. Number one. I'm—mmph—number one. I'm still one." she hazily mutters, head lolling to one side.

"Shut up! I can't do this when you keep talking!" you exclaim, hands frantically dressing the wound across her cheek.

Her body keeps moving, jerking, pushing, and you physically just aren't strong enough to counter it. Her hands have found their place on your shoulders, clutching them as her own stability varies wildly.

"They said...they were gonna—ow, ow! fuck—they were—they couldn't even—" she rambles, fingers tightening their grip.

"Ellie. Stay still. And calm down." you bark, hips inching closer between her thighs. She's sat atop the dingy counter of the club bathroom, while you stand tucked under her figure.

A warm, bellied laugh escapes her before she plops her head into your neck without warning.

"Mmmm okay, princess. I'll be—I'm—I'm still. I'm still. M'sorry doc." She whispers, breath fanning your skin lightly.

"No, no, no, pick your head up. You have to stay awake."

"But I'm—I'm tired. And—" she drags her nose a bit, trailing bits of blood and sweat. "you smell so good here." she murmurs fuzzily, hands slowly traveling down towards your waist.

You quickly wipe your neck with the back of your hand, pushing Ellie's head back upright.

"I'm gonna try and do this as fast as I can, okay?" you say, starting to fumble with the packaging of your needle. Ellie's hands were still groping around the back of your body through your clothes.

"You were—you wore this. At Dina's party," she breathes, not even noticing your hands preparing the suture. Her eyes are unabashedly gazing at your chest. "that was a goooood party." she adds, smiling to herself.

Your skin burns, and you feel your eyes desperately avoiding hers.

Your focus moves back to her forehead, where your hands have moved to hover steadily over her wound.

"This is gonna hurt Ellie. But you can't move." you say quietly, waiting for her response.

She closes her eyes, just taking in shaky breaths for few moments.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Jus do it already."

With that, you start to stitch up her cut, fingers nimble and tedious.

She groans at the pain, hands fisting in the fabric of your clothes, and legs jerking inwards. You let her, simply continuing your motions as her body reacts.

"Ow—Christ, princess, that fucking—fuck!"

"I know, I know. I'm almost done. Like, two more stitches." you rush, eyes starting to water and wrists starting cramp. Ellie only huffs a sigh, forehead slippery from sweat.

Your mouth parts open as you delicately tie off your last suture, hands now clammy and sore. You step back to look at your work, honestly not caring if it was mediocre. It was still better than anything Ellie would've tried to do by herself.

"Ok! Ok! All done!" You breathe, placing a square of gauze on her temple.

"Oh—thank you. Thank you princess. I'm—you're...you're really good." she drawls out, eyes heavy and dazed.

She abruptly slumps forward a bit, leaning all of her weight onto you and wrapping the whole of her arms around your waist. She squeezes even harder, a level of strength almost abnormal considering how beat up she is.

Oh, you think. She's hugging me.

You can't help but lightly giggle, seeing Ellie in such a strange state of mind. Her ego shines through, of course, but there's a vulnerability that makes you feel even warmer. You start to feel the vibrations of her throat as she speaks.

"I think I—I think I fight better...with you here." she says softly, fingertips pressed into the small of your back.

"Yeah?" you laugh. "I don't know about that..."

"You're the only one who's—who's actually wanted to see me. I know about that." she retorts, hot breaths coming briskly at your neck.

"But I thought like—Dina and everyone, they know, don't they?"

"Mhmm. They know. But they don't come here. Not—not like you did." she says lowly.

You move back, a little too warm, and try to look Ellie in the eyes.

"I...didn't know that. I'm glad I was here though." you say, a small smile shaping your lips.

"Yeah, I mean—me too, obviously. I can—man, I can always count on you. I can't believe I fuckin'...forgot about that." she mumbles, grin slowly widening.

Your eyes open larger, and you freeze a touch, her words recalling a part of your friendship you didn't know she had noticed.

In highschool, all you'd ever wanted to do was make Ellie like you. You'd let her rant all her fiery anger over a fight with Cat, remaining polite and helpful and understanding. You'd listen to the songs she'd listen to, hate the ones she didn't. She'd tell you her theories about the stars, and you'd let it change the way you see the sky at night. You were a lost puppy, unintentionally giving Ellie your leash. You didn't realize any of it until years later.

"I was..." you look around, searching for the right words. "I was kind of obsessed. In highschool."

She looks up, eyebrows pinching.

"With me?"

"I—yes? You couldn't tell?"

She scoffs, face dramatically contorting in shock.

"Fuck—no, I couldn't. You were always...texting that...guy."

"And I broke up with him. Because of you." you say, color rushing across your cheeks.

Ellie blinks, eyes wide, just staring. Her mouth opens, and closes, before she finally starts saying words again.

"But didn't—hold on. Did I...turn you gay?"

You roll your eyes, mouth flattening.

"I don't think that's how it works. But you probably...made it happen faster, I guess." you say, voice trailing off towards the end.

She stays silent, lips pressed in thought. The hands around your waist, which hadn't moved in while, start to fidget and tense in their place.

"You know what? I see it. It actually—it makes a lot of sense."

"...Yeah?" you question, head shifted away from her gaze.

"Like—the way you'd always freeze up if I tried to draw you. Or all that...shit you'd try and say about Cat. You were just—super jealous, weren't you?" she laughs, pulling you closer.

Ellie seems to have regained her consciousness fully, you notice, the lively color of her face having returned as well.

"I—not super, just a...normal amount." you mutter.

"It's okay, princess. I think it's—cute. Little you, all fed up. Just wanted me so bad, huh?"

"No. I barely knew more than you did. I was mostly just confused." you protest. "Can you stand? I'd like to leave this nasty bathroom."

"Yeah, I'm good." she says, hoisting herself off of the counter.

Her arm snakes around your shoulder, using your body to lean against.

"I'm staying with you tonight. If you have a concussion I can't let you fall asleep." you tell her, almost overwhelmed with her smell so close to your face.

"Oh—shit." she blurts. "My place is a fuckin' mess right now."

As it turned out, Ellie was not lying.

Her place, a grungy apartment just on the edge of town, was a wreck. Clothes, garbage, various envelopes and papers scattered the floor. Her kitchen was bare, neat and dusty from the lack of use. You wondered how many people had actually seen her place.

You let her walk you both to the couch, before she plops herself down onto it with a hefty sigh. She sits for a moment before looking up at you, gesturing to the cushion next to herself.

"Well? You gonna sit?" she asks.

You don't respond, simply let yourself fall into the seat, Ellie's arm already sprawled out and waiting for you. She yawns loudly before turning to you.

"I really can't fuckin' sleep?"

"I mean..." you bite the inside of your cheek, contemplating. "you probably don't have one? So...you can sleep. I might just wake you up once to check on your symptoms."

She groans comfortably, spreading out on the couch and kicking her legs forward. Her arm tightens around you, shuffling you into her side. She grabs a blanket from behind her, straightens it out, and throws it over the both of you.

The layer feels nice, warm and heavy, and you find yourself feeling more exhausted as the minutes tick by. You lay your head upon Ellie's chest, memorizing the sounds of her heart. Her voice resonates lowly as she speaks.

"...Did you actually like being there?" she asks you, tone uncertain and quiet. "I don't blame you if it's too much to watch."

"No I—I did like it. Honestly. It was hard not to look away." you assure her, softly breathing across her shirt.

"Ok. Good. I wanted to make sure. I...I really want you there again next week."

"I will be then." you say, eyes casting a glance up to meet her own.

She had already been staring.

"Goodnight, y/n." Ellie murmurs, her focus on you not breaking for a second.

"Yeah, goodnight." you say, forcing your eyes shut and melting into the heat of Ellie's body.

[vhstown]

hobie brown x you headcanons

— hobie x gn!reader (established relationship)

warnings: brief mentions of violence (?) + politics (just his own), fluff

note: set in the multiverse + reader is aware of the spider-society (though has an ambiguous role). i rly wanted to write hobie without the bad boy possessive energy haha 💀 a bit ooc as always he's a tough one lol (kind of too detailed to be hcs but we roll)

Hobie is very much secure in your relationship. Even if it's less established than your typical one, he doesn't get jealous or uncomfortable when he sees you around others. It's more amusing to him than anything, observing how you interact with people. He enjoys watching you in silence with the occasional witty interjection, and he likes listening to you speak even if it's not with him. He's one of those people who immediately decide whether they trust someone or not, and he's trusted you since you met, even if there was, and still is, incessant bickering.

The bickering is endless, by the way. Even when you move past friends (a lot faster than you realise), he's always on your case. You've been trying not to pick up on his speech patterns, but it's almost impossible considering how nice it sounds to hear the accent roll off his tongue. When you accidentally bust out a "wagwan" he can't contain his laughter, nearly doubling over at the way your face was stuck in embarrassment. He makes it a habit to rub it in your face now, teasing you by talking to you like you're from Camden; the way he talked to you before was just the tip of the iceberg.

Hobie isn't hesitant about touch at all. He's always touching you in some way or another. Whether it's his arm slung around your shoulders, his chin on the top of your head or even holding your hand, it definitely draws some attention when a near 7ft punk (though he's not bound by the label of height, according to him) is hovering around you like a giant flashing accessory.

And the man is shamelessly 'gross'. He'll kiss you even with your morning breath or after you've just eaten. Whenever you put something on your lips, no matter if it's lip balm or whatever you like to wear, he's always just waiting to mess it up. Hobie's a tease if anything too, pinching you unexpectedly just to see the flash of a pissed-off expression on your face. You've made it a habit to not give him that satisfaction, but he doesn't need it. Everything you do is more than enough to amuse him, even if he does try to kiss you hanging upside down, scaring the ever living hell out of you in his attempt.

When you're cold, he's always trying to warm you up by rubbing his hands over your shoulders and arms (though his sarcasm is more than enough to set you on fire sometimes.) It is pretty cold in his universe, so he's used to it (#1 denier of the cold; punks don't get cold.)

Hobie is known for being firm in his beliefs. He's an unapologetic anarchist, and while he doesn't shout about his political beliefs every second, you can see it in the way he acts. Even if you're not as bent on it as he is, you have to respect his commitment. You're one of the only people he tells about his universe, his experiences, what he lives for. It's refreshing in comparison to his spontenaeity, and while you don't see him much differently after he opens up, you realise that Hobie is one hell of a person. He's your person, (as much as he denies being confined to anyone or anything.)

And he's not afraid to involve you. Whenever you're in his universe, he takes you places like you're a tourist, no matter how used to the area you are. Hobie isn't exactly the most informative tour guide (and he takes any opportunity to bash corrupt political figures and tag up their campaigns), but it's the thought that counts. He loves showing you the little untouched nooks and lesser-known streets, hopping fences and swinging you over barbed wire to show you the real Camden. The culture, history, people — it's all Hobie. He lives in Camden, through Camden, and he wants to share it with you. No authority could ever supercede that.

What he also lives through is the punk scene. If it isn't obvious from his appearance already, he's always jamming on his guitar. If you ask what he's playing, he says he doesn't know yet. He's always coming up with something new; it's like there's an itch he needs to scratch whenever a new sound comes into his head, whether he's humming it, tapping it or strumming it on his guitar.

And he's good at it, his fingers gliding over the strings like it's a language he's fluent in, playing a half-formed chorus with shouty lyrics that don't exist but you can already hear (probably something to do with rebellion.) You like listening to him play, that familiar, addictive feeling coursing through you, the vibrations of the guitar never ceasing to strike you with awe. You wonder what it's like to hear him play at an actual gig (you'll find out soon when he sneaks you out for one; you won't be disappointed.) It's one of many things to admire about him. What he won't admit is that, more often than not, he's playing for you. Even if you're not exchanging words, the glances and music between you make the unfinished feel whole.

The man loves his guitar too. If he loves anything in this world, it's you, sure, but his guitar is also up there (can you blame him?) If he's not playing he's always idly tracing the stickers with his fingers, re-tuning it, whatever. It's a damn cool guitar, but a part of you might just be a little jealous of the musical instrument that's basically a part of him at this point.

That is, until the two of you are getting caught onto. Your more-than-friends relationship is pretty obvious, but when it starts interrupting with Hobie's Spider-society "duties", among his other anti-society antics, the both of you have the potential to fall into big trouble. It's not like he cares – leaving was in the back of his mind from the start, and it only fuels your bickering and crude gossip. Whatever happens, you know you've got Hobie, even if an entire multiverse of Spider-people actively reject you. You don't need to belong anything, nobody really does, he keeps telling you, but you're sure that if there's nothing else, you belong with him. You two against the world, so to speak. And your previous jealously completely fades when Hobie says something to you: you were both in an alley, hiding during a mission you weren't supposed to be on.

"You think they'll kill you for it?" you asked him jokingly, building up the mirth of the conversation as usual.

"If they kill me," Hobie starts, donning a sarcastic grin. "I want you to have my guitar."

It seems guitar lessons are an added bonus to your relationship — right after hiding from Miguel and Jessica, of course.

🕸️💫🎸

thanks for reading my self-indulgent rant lol. asks are open but not taking requests atm. feel free to comment (tho can't reply rip) love ya have a good one — if u liked this reblogs r appreciated <3

read the rest of my atsv headcanons here!

[dystychiphxbia]

☆ - love is blind

Nagi angst but im v bad at angst?

im not rly happy w this but the concept has been in my mind for a while!!

gn!reader, in the end characters are in their 20s, some nsfw mention, not proofread

☆ Loving Nagi Seishiro wasn't easy.

You two met in high school, his height first catching your attention. That white hair was unique, and you would notice yourself constantly stealing glances at him. But he was the school loner, and you had a reputation to hold...

However, Reo asked you to become the manager for the football club, which you reluctantly accepted. You were familiar with the sport, just not very good at it. But you knew you could help them out, and what better way to learn more about Nagi Seishiro than be the team's manager?

In a way, you were disappointed. Yes, Nagi was very good at football. A genius, like they said. But his lack of motivation and how he needed Reo for everything was such a huge turn off.

Nagi would often rest his head on your shoulder. You didn't mind it, and just let him rest there as long as he wanted. Well, more like until Reo dragged him back to practice, because if it was up to Nagi, he would stay there until evening. Often you would pat his head and tell him to go back to practice already. "Nuh-uh, this is more comfy." He would answer. Somehow, it made your heart beat a bit faster.

Soon enough, Reo and Nagi got their invitations to Blue Lock. You stayed back with the rest of the team, hoping to get news from them. But no texts ever came.

You didn't see them again until the U-20 match that you went to watch. "Reo! Nagi!" You would wave from the stands, and they would wave back at you. Well, at least Reo did, with Nagi simply glancing at you. It broke your heart a little.

But your eyes stayed on Nagi for the whole match. He seemed to have grown so much, and you felt glad seeing that. The whole time, you had worried about him, so seeing him do just fine made you relax. After the match, you greeted both of them, but noticed that their relationship was...off? It was nothing like when they left. You talked to both of them separately, and you could swear it was the first time Nagi smiled at you.

Now, the Blue Lock was over, and you were finishing high school. You had just one thing left to do before graduating, confessing to Nagi Seishiro. You didn't really care about the outcome, you just had to get the feelings off your chest. So, you slipped a note in his desk, asking him to meet you behind the school once classes were over.

In a way, you felt surprised when he actually showed up. As third years with graduation right around the corner, you no longer had any club activities, so Nagi would always go straight home or to the arcade once classes were over. Reo would often tag along, and from time to time, he would drag you with them. You had told him about your feelings for Nagi beforehand, and he had told you to just go for it.

So here you are, letting all your feelings loose. You told him how he has caught your attention from the start, and how much you admire all the work he has done. You told him about all the lonely nights when he was at Blue Lock, and you were just waiting for a text to show up. You told him about how your heart beats faster every time you think of him, how he's your first and last thought everyday.

"I like you, Nagi Seishiro." You ended your speech. His silence made you nervous, and you couldn't read his expression. "I just wanted to get this off my chest, you don't need to -" "I like you too."

Your eyes widened at that. Did you hear him right? Nagi Seishiro...liked you? "Are you...serious? You really like me?" You couldn't help but question him. He awkwardly shifted, hand scratching the back of his head. "Yeah. I told Reo that I usually get butterflies in my stomach when I see or think about you...And that I think of you often...He said that I probably have a crush on you so that must be it." "So...can we date?" Gosh, your heart was about to burst. "Yes."

Back then, you didn't know what you were getting into. Soon after you two became a couple, graduation came up. You would celebrate it with Nagi's and Reo's friends. "Woah, Nagi has a girlfriend?" His friends would be interested in you, just what kind of a person caught Nagi's eye? Nagi would wrap his hand around your waist to protect you from his friends that he didn't trust, and you would just laugh at him and tell him not to worry, because you only love him.

After graduation, you moved into Nagi's apartment. You would start by deep cleaning the whole place, still blinded by the love you felt for Nagi. He had nothing against you moving in, he actually liked the idea. Having you around all day, being able to cuddle, and get your homemade meals everyday. That sounds just perfect.

But you started your studies in university, and you weren't around all day. While Nagi did start his studies as well, he rarely went on campus. You wondered if he would ever graduate, but you didn't pressure him. You were happy, as long as he was happy.

For Nagi, happiness meant games. He still played football, but not as actively. You felt like he was stuck. He had talked about going pro for the easy money, but now he was just always at home playing games.

Soon you started to notice that you do all the housework. "Seishiro, take the trash out while I'm gone, okay?" Nagi would just answer with a hum, and you would come back home to him on the exact same spot where you left him, and the trash was still there. Quietly, you would take it out, and start making dinner. Then you would wash the laundry, put it to dry, clean the kitchen, maybe vacuum if the house looked dirty...All while still having to study for your finals that were coming up. You would then sit next to Nagi, give him a kiss on the cheek, and ask him about his day. "Mm, nothing special." Of course there was nothing special, he just stayed home all day. "I see." You flashed him a smile that he probably didn't even see, before leaving the room.

You would end the day with schoolwork, forcing Nagi to shower and brush his teeth with you, and then you two would go to the bed. Well, most of the time, he would return to his games for a few more hours.

On some nights, Nagi did want to get intimate. But it just meant you either sucking him off or lazy sex with you riding him. You don't remember when the last time was that he gave you head or when you two actually made love. You always had hope of it being different next time, but you always ended up disappointed.

Things were a bit better when Reo was around. He would make sure that Nagi helps you with cleaning and would scold him for just playing video games. He would also drag Nagi with him to practice, and you would then spend the evening alone.

Yes, things were always a bit better when Reo was there. So maybe that's why you looked for comfort in him. You visited him one night after Nagi had ignored you, and one thing led to another, and you two slept together. The morning after that was filled with guilt, but Reo kept telling you that everything would be okay. You had gone home around noon, and Nagi was still in bed. He didn't question where you had been, but he did pull you to the bed with him, wrapping his arms around you. This used to make your heart beat faster, but now it felt like nothing. You had noticed how messy the apartment was just from one night of you being gone.

Nagi Seishiro was helpless, and you felt more like his mom than his girlfriend. You wondered, what changed? Until you realized that nothing did. Nagi was always like this. You were just so blinded by love, that you didn't notice it before.

Reo would give you expensive gifts for no reason, while Nagi barely remembered your birthday. You were convinced that he wouldn't have remembered without Reo reminding him. Reo probably decided on his gift to you as well.

You loved Nagi. You tried everything to fix your relationship, but one person cannot fix something that requires two people. You would spend countless nights crying, asking where you went wrong. But you never did anything wrong. You two just weren't meant to be. You couldn't motivate Nagi to live his life.

You slowly started packing your things, wondering if he would notice your presence disappearing. He didn't, or at least he never questioned you.

You told Reo that you were planning on breaking up with Nagi. He basically begged you to stay, but you told him that you just can't. That one night you had spent with Reo felt way better than these past 4 years with Nagi.

You didn't love Reo. But that one night with him made you realize, that what you had with Nagi wasn't love either. Reo understood you like no one else did, and he wished you good luck with the path you chose. Honestly, you felt like you were going to miss Reo more than Nagi.

One evening, you sat Nagi down in the kitchen. "Let's break up." You said. This time, you didn't have a long speech like the time you confessed to him. Nagi averted his gaze, his eyes showing a glimpse of sadness. But you no longer cared, he had 4 years to show you, and he never did. You left that evening.

It didn't take long for you to move on with your life. You graduated from university, got a good job, and met someone who loved you equally as much as you loved them.

One night, as you were grocery shopping with your partner, your eyes landed on a familiar pair. Nagi and Reo. So, those two were still inseparable? Of course they were, you couldn't see Nagi living without Reo.

Nagi saw you, and your eyes met. You swore his eyes lit up for a second, until he saw your partner wrap their arm around your waist to grab your attention. Seeing Nagi, your eyes meeting, didn't raise any emotions in you. You felt nothing.

You no longer love Nagi Seishiro.

[chaosclover1999]

so general political fandom opinion that is also kinda emotionally charged 4 me that i don't think a lot of ppl will agree w me on:

while it's generally understood that "race-bending" a character can b politically insensitive in certain contexts, e.g. making the only character in a show that's a racial minority white, or making a character POC 4 clout ect

i feel like we as adults need 2 acknowledge that the same can b said of gender-bending characters

[important: there is a difference between gender-bending a character vs headcanon-ing them as trans, trans hcs r not what this is abt]

there's a very concerning trend i've noticed lately, where ppl will take a fandom ship that's a mlm ship and gender-bend it into a wlw ship, or even just make art of the mlm ship but in the description say "lesbians" or "yuri" and omg don't get me started on the ppl i c calling mlm ships "yuri yaoi" 2 indicate a non-toxic mlm "yaoi" ship

u guys need 2 come off of the gender essentialism kool aid, i rly need u 2 get this thru ur thick fucking skulls

being a man is morally neutral

being a woman is morally neutral

being a man does not make some1 inherently bad or abusive

being a woman does not make some1 inherently better or remove any toxic traits

it's exactly that kind of mentality, the idea that being a man is inherently wrong or evil or perverse in some way, that kept me and many other transmascs in the closet 4 way longer than we would've been otherwise, that leaves us fearing ourselves, what lies beneath the facade of false womanhood, that leaves us unequipped 2 deal w the concept of loving ourselves and accepting ourselves completely

trans men ARE men and not just when you want to malgender them

transmascs ARE masc and not just when you want 2 use our masculinity against us

transmascs who see ourselves as "man-adjacent" are still hurt when u say this shit abt us and abt men even if they r men in a way that's different from us

also, gay men (and probably also bi and other groups of men who love men but i can't speak 2 that personally) , who are often accessorised by straight women (c "gay best friend") often hav 2 deal w being seen as an accessory 2 straight women and being expected 2 make our entire existence revolve around straight women while at the same time our love is seen as inherently toxic, the "logic" usually goes smth like "well men r inherently abusive and there's 2 men so that must mean they r just abusing each other in a circle right?" which obviously isn't how that works bc not all men r abusive bc abusive behaviour is not smth inherent 2 being a man

im so sick of wanting 2 look at an mlm ship 2 try 2 remind myself that it's okay that im like this and that i am the way i am only 2 c the tag flooded w gender-bend fanart or ppl calling these gay men "lesbians" 2 indicate that they r older than 25 or 2 indicate that they think the ship isn't toxic or worse, they say that the original ship is toxic, don't explain y other than "man inherently abusive" and then make a gender-bend of the ship and act like it's them "fixing" it

i am not inherently abusive 4 being a gay guy

i am not inherently abusive 4 being transmasc and "man-adjacent" as i would put it

i also am noticing ppl putting words like "lesbaians" or "yuri" in the description when they make more chaste mlm ship fanart like of cuddling or hand holding which like.... ew.... way 2 piss off 2 communities at once ig

i wasn't 2 mad abt the gender-bends at 1st but then i started 2 notice a pattern and i had 2 say smth

istg if i c 1 more person make gender-bend fanart of an mlm ship w the description being "fixed it" or another fucking piece of fanart that is of 2 men being cuddly and chaste and neither of these men identity as also being women and the description is "lesbaians" or "yuri" i am going 2 fucking scream

tumblr users stop taking popular mlm ships and then flooding the tags 4 them w wlw gender-bend fanart versions of those ships at the very least make ur own tag 4 it like idk "fem![character]xfem![character]" or "fem![ship name]" it's not ok when u invade our mlm ship tags 2 tell us u think our love is toxic or that it would b better if we were women, ur literally just invading our online spaces where we go 2 feel safe 2 tell us u don't like us, and 4 some of us, 2 tell us that u wish we never transitioned

just 2 b clear im not talking abt cases here where the characters in question r nonbinary in a way that means that they see themselves as both men and women and so ppl call it "yuri yaoi" bc the characters r both men and women at the same time, that's a whole different thing of ppl just having some cool stuff going on w their gender and not at all what this post is abt, it's also smth tho that i hav not seen nearly as much as what this post is abt and also i don't hav any experience w being nonbinary in that way so im gonna leave that topic 4 some1 who has a better understanding of that shit than me

[ca-suffit]

neilcfreak hasn't been seen in the fandom in a *long* time, so kind of fucking weird and obvious that nalyra gets a bait ask (which she knows is a bait ask) saying it *must* be bullying that caused it and listing every way neil was a good person. where tf has neilcfreak been much in the last year? besides a few months ago when she was trying to cover up for white fandom. nobody cares about u girl, nobody is rly sending these asks about u except ur own friends (or u lol).

anyway who wants neilcfreak's racist receipts :)

last year, ao3 was getting called out for never following up with their promises made in the wake of BLM 2020 to better protect users against racist harassment. neil and a black user commented on the same post, the black user replying to neil's comment u can see above of "if u don't like it make ur own site lol."

this white user (futureevilscientist) then random af pulled the asks out and tagged the black user at the start of the post to talk all this shit AT them fsr?

then later, neil shows up herself.

this is the part u cannot *cannot* say is not racist. neil is directly replying to a reblog of *someone else's main post* and placing full blame for a "call out post" on the *black* user.

she then pulls out her white jewish shit to speak over the main topic, which is racism / antiblackness.

playing oppression olympics can be done by any marginalized group but it usually works the best for white ppl because white ppl get the most sympathy when doing this (u want the most shining example, how often are we talking about white gay oppression in this fandom above racism / antiblackness, which is the *actual theme* of the show...or even gay oppression through a black pov, since u see louis experience that constantly. how much are we told that this show is rly about white gays and nothing else?). ppl assume whiteness is more innocent by default so will pile more on a black user for "being aggressive" towards a *white* jewish user without needing any proof. that's what neil was counting on here. she also then had a bizarre, loud breakdown on her account for extra assurance she'd be seen as "the real victim" (for making a stupidly racist comment in public). ohh yeah weaponize those white tears girl. she then "quit" tumblr for a while and when she came back, as mentioned in the linked post above, she had to again mention "drama" for good measure. "remember how I was bullied off this site u guys :("

white fandom was all over her dramatic distraction posts btw (nalyra commented on them too, so she is v aware this happened). v few people reached out to the black user or cared about the shit they were dealing with.

these white fandom ppl *never* have any receipts of bullying either, they just *say* it happens and flock to give hugs so it looks like lots of support is happening for a real "issue." but it's not real. everything they do is meant to manipulate u. this nalyra ask is still doing that.

when ur told what to think about someone or u can't find evidence of things happening beyond what anyone, even a group of ppl, *tells u* is happening then u need to rly remain suspicious of the reality of it.

these are asks that the black user got after this stuff happened. so now we've created a new issue from nothing and we're not talking about racism or how ur bullying a black user over literally nothing anymore. now it's suddenly all about poor neilcfreak and her white jewish identity and victimhood from a big, bad black fan. she's gotta make this all make her look like the real victim to cover up how embarrassed and stupid she felt for being called out on saying racist shit.

this is why white ppl need to understand these abusive techniques and get on ppl's ass when they pull this, not just leave it up to black and brown ppl to do. white fandom will cry all the white tears possible and claim ur talking over a white jewish person, being antisemitic. it's an attempt to emotionally manipulate u, keep talking (think of how often claims of antisemitism are used to shut down anyone being pro palestine, it's the same shit). this is racism. this is weaponizing an identity to cause harm to a black person cuz u were caught saying racist shit and want to deflect. if neilcfreak wasn't a huge racist she'd have *also* called this out and told ppl to stop doing this on her behalf. that would require her pulling her head out of her ass first tho and not sending these anons herself prbly.

I was looking for a different receipt to end on but found this instead, so let's talk about this too since we're here

here's neil after this shit went down, trying to make anne rice all kinds of marginalized identities so ppl can excuse her abusive shit too. she never said she was queer and she never identified as trans. u can't just label ppl shit because stuff they said sounds "close enough." she did enough harm as a cishet white woman can u all fuck off already with wanting to find more excuses for never wanting anyone to criticize this piece of shit.

good riddance, wretched bitch.

[foulbearobservation]

since you’re the camlilith blogTM, do you have camlilith fic recs?

me: oh I don't think I'm the gateway to camilith shipping

y'all: so as The Camilith Blog™...

anyway yes I do have fic recs gather round children, I've delved into the depths of the tag and emerged with the best of the best

let's start with casper's (@daisychainsandbowties) fics and then go from there!

by such slight ligaments are we bound: god like truly this is THEE Camilith fic of all time for me like. you all don't understand. lilith is so fucked up. camila touches her so tenderly. lilith gets her hair washed. she bleeds all over the fucking place. she completely disassociates. she bleeds all over the fucking place some more. she's gods specialest little soldier. she's gods most beloathed nun. she's my little guy.

thus strangely are our souls constructed: listen. listen. this is the rat fic. I hold it close to my heart. I adore it. Lilith's having a breakdown in a sporting goods store. she's bleeding out with beatrice in a hallway. they're in love. they don't realize they're in love. they're also not in love. it's a lot. lilith is a little in love with every woman who shows her any kindness. I can't wait to see where this one goes

a light, a blessing, or a bruise: the dishonored au!!!! dishonored au my beloved! (not a fic but check out whale's dishonored art pieces here & here & here they make me feel insane) this fic actually got me to start playing dishonored and the world is. so interesting. the way casper has translated the characters is FASCINATING. great fic I fucking love it.

okay that's all of casper's fics now let's go to some others shall we?

The bestie @thats-a-weird-warning-sign wrote Tenderness to you is only talk about a bruise which is just. so good. I truly don't know what else I need to say about it. lilith's brain melts out of her ears because of camila's strap. There's healing from trauma. there's more sex. listen. we all read the tags we all knew what we were getting into.

Shroomyystar on ao3 (I think they're @cranechel on here?) has some bangers. most of these are rated M or E, for good reason. they're darker or they're just abt sex so your mileage may vary based on what you want to read but they're all tagged appropriately!

like real people do: lilith asks camila to kill her and it's sweeter than you think, I promise.

light pink sky up on the roof: lilith kneels.

one bite of salvation in the dark: lilith kneels and also eats cami out.

there's also serenity which is a rly cute little fic abt camila just staring at lilith and I think it's very sweet we get this view of them cause I feel like lilith is the more common pov character

some other one offs!

Worship her sooner is my bestie Em who texted me one day like "do you think ao3 has a tag for sexy latin usage" and refused to elaborate.

The whole series of 1 Peter 4:8 is very good. this was before season 2 came out, and I'll just link the first fic here it's SO GOOD. Go comment and show some love to these fics, they're older so I don't think they got the attention they deserved.

golden hour is an avatrice fic HOWEVER it's set at camilith's wedding and the way ava just describes lilith as scary and whipped is truly so funny to me

And that's about all I have I think? I probably forgot something, and I'm very picky with fics to begin with so. If you think I missed something, add it in the comments!

[hotchs-big-hands]

Today turned out to be Pretty Bad™ stuck down very awful bad memory lane and I just wanna clarify to ppl why I may not always answer dms/asks etc. I've only really told one person on here the big details about this, and I won't go into all the details here either but it'll be enough to explain why. I hope anyway. Idk why I'm doing this.

I'll give a quick tl;dr here because it is long and also goes into very triggering topics such as self harm/suicide.

Basically I used to have a very close best friend, who I'll call shithead, back in early 2018 until late 2022 who extremely manipulative, emotionally abusive and just very overall toxic. If you've ever seen me refer to a "shithead" in tags or whatever then its about the person imma talk abt here. I was essentially the person they turned to to talk them out of doing things to themselves, if you get me. As well as a lot of other stuff. Ended up getting therapy (but not for the right reasons tbh) and also got a bad coping mechanism where I tend to not talk to people, I keep my distance and its smth I wanna tackle but it's difficult. So if you haven't heard back from me it's not cuz I don't like you, I am fighting with my brain. Also I kinda question if I actually am a good person or not because of stuff that I did in retaliation to this person.

I'll get into details now under the cut but yeah don't read if self harm/suicide/toxic dynamics are something you don't want to hear about for whatever reason.

As above, in early 2018 I used to have a different fanfic blog for a different fandom. I won't go into detail about which fandom and what the blog was but it was fairly popular. This is how I came to be friends with them. And like at the beginning it was fucking great! We became fast friends and we had a lot of shared interests. They introduced me to a lot of games, TV shows etc. But that's also where the problems started.

They were one of those types of fans. The "very possessive over certain characters" type of fan. If they liked them and had a crush on them then you couldn't do the same cuz character belonged to them. Which at the time I didn't rly like but I used to be friends with someone in high school who was also like that about characters so I assumed it was just a thing ppl did. However, it escalated to if I had a character I liked then they'd for some reason not like them and in fact hated them. This was kinda draining cuz they never wanted to talk abt stuff I liked, without actually directly saying so. They'd just shit talk them the whole time or say they hate them. So I stopped talking about what I liked. Later, they'd suddenly really like said media or characters and only then was it fine to talk about them. But in turn they'd be possessive and if I said oh okay I'll step back from them they would make me feel like I was being stupid because "no they didn't say I couldn't like them".

Anyway thats not rly the worst of it of course, the actual bad stuff is now so again, final warning for self harm/suicide. Will square off the triggering sections.

*********************

They struggled with their mental health a lot. Like a lot. I'd be there for them to listen, offer help and support because I like to take care of ppl and make sure they'll be okay. Except it escalated to them using me to talk them out of harming themself and killing themself. And this was almost everyday/night. And need I just say they were an hour ahead of me as well btw. I went to university in 2019 originally and by December I was completely burnt out because I spent every day and night making sure they didn't fucking do anything to themself. I got at most 2-3 hours of sleep a night if I was lucky and I stopped doing my hobbies and uni work because I just had no drive to do them anymore. It was clear I was also suffering mentally. I was suicidal and thinking of harming myself as well (and unfortunately I did do so a couple times). But I prioritised them. Everything was triggering for them, and I mean that. I had a long list pinned to my wall of everything I was to avoid mentioning because it would trigger them.

They never took care about my own mental health btw, which I'm not saying they HAD to but I know it was because they just didn't care. And they said as much too. They said because they are autistic they have no empathy and therefore do not feel anything about my mental health. So I suffered basically alone.

*********************

I dropped out of uni in early 2020 and in fact went home the weekend lockdown began in the UK. Things were not good. I was still trying to be support for shithead, I went to therapy and started medication for the wrong reasons. I wanted to get better so I could take care of them. Which like. Never do that. Never go to therapy so you can be someone else's therapist. Go to therapy because YOU want to be better for YOURSELF.

We were in in a bigger friendship group spread across a few discord servers and they all broke down one way or another. One instance there was an argument between shithead and a bunch of others who were comparing who had it worse during ww2. The others were Americans but were also of Jewish heritage with family who were affected by the holocaust and shithead lives in a country near where the holocaust happened with relatives who went through a famine. Either way it was just not gonna be a good conversation. Shithead left, I stayed and like I already don't rly talk to people much in groups because its overwhelming but I did do a little bit. Someone who was friends with shithead and still in the server told shithead I was talking to the others and in turn I basically betrayed shithead. Hindsight I wish I had just left the server ages before and like maybe j shouldn't have talked to the others idk. I regret it either way and think abt it a lot.

Another few shitty things I did in response to how shithead would treat me is giving them the silent treatment, giving short answers etc. I wanted them to feel bad, but it would round back to me being told I'm a coward and horrible to them. Which maybe I was but frankly I was scared of them.

*********************

Things began to rly break down when they showed me their fresh self harm wounds, blood and all, because they were "bored". I didn't talk to them for a few days and their apology wasn't much of an apology, more just making excuses again (aka I have autism so it's not my fault). I started talking less and less because by this point my brain had had enough ig and began to close off from them and just ppl in general.

*********************

In 2022 I finally returned to university and thats also when I finally stopped talking to them. A few months ago I finally blocked them on everything. However, I still struggle with communication and don't rly do it much. It's difficult to maintain friendships and I don't trust easily. I plan on going back to therapy whenever i can because this is just unresolved. But yeah idk I'm sorry to everyone who I haven't responded to, or take a long time to respond to.

One thing that is good tho is that like, after shithead I didn't enjoy anything. I didn't rly watch or hyperfixate on anything. But last year around this time I came across an Aaron Hotchner x plus size reader fic and I've been obsessed with him since!! And now here we are, got a blog and everything for a fandom finally after so long :) so it's not all bad.

But yeah that's why I struggle keeping up with messages and asks. Idk if anyone is gonna read this but if you've read this far then thank you and you mean a lot. Big hugs to yawl and I hope yawl have a lovely day, and if not then please take it easy 💖💖💖💖

[mooodyblue]

elvis tag game by @headfullofpresley 💗

this is gonna be so loong i apologize in advance 😭😭 i have a lot of thoughts and opinions

tagging: @lllsaslll @elvisfatass @prayerstopresley @kiankiwi-blog and whoever wants to do this 😅

questions under the cut bc i rly listed a good chunk of his discography lol

When was the first time you heard of Elvis?

i'm sure my parents have played something of his growing up, i was more into mj than anything else. i wish i could remember like....the first real time i was ever really introduced to him. he's been referenced in so many of my interests that im sure there was i time i was like 10 and being like "oh that's an elvis reference" lol

what's your favorite era?

70s!!!! big daddy era as y'all call it 😅

favorite song(s) from the 50s?

trying to get to you, i'm counting on you, love me, don't be cruel, lawdy miss clawdy, as long as i have you, trouble, crawfish, i want you i need you i love you, one sided love affair, loving you, young and beautiful ...... i should probably stop before i list them all

favorite song(s) from the 60s

fever, such a night, im coming home, pocketful of rainbows, edge of reality, almost in love, can't help falling in love, the walls have ears, do not disturb, cotton candy land, it's now or never, rubberneckin', summer kisses winter tears, crying in the chapel, suspicious minds....literally everything on from elvis in memphis. god i want to list more but i need to STOP!!

favorite song(s) from the 70s

runaway, polk salad annie, you've lost that loving feeling, moody blue(duh), rags to riches, funny how time slips away, american trilogy!!!!!!!!!, hurt, make the world go away, the wonder of you

all time favorite songs that you can't skip?

suspicious minds, an american trilogy, pocketful of rainbows, i'm coming home, rubberneckin', honestly there's so many. i feel bad if i skip sometimes LOL

least favorite song?

im so sorry but tutti frutti💔

favorite gospel song(s)?

i still need to dive more into his gospel music, but i really love crying in the chapel and you never walk alone.

favorite country song(s)?

funny how time slips away, kentucky rain, always on my mind, make the world go away

favorite non english song?

wooden heart <3

a song(s) that make you feel nostalgic?

can't help falling in love 💗

a song(s) that makes you cry?

unchained melody!!!!! lord i can barely listen to it 😭

a song(s) that make you wanna dance?

rubberneckin', im coming home, got a lot o' livin to do, polk salad annie, suspicious minds

favorite song elvis as covered?

any day now and yesterday

what's a modern song you wish you could hear elvis cover?

i think he'd eat up two ghosts or ever since new york by harry styles tbh.

do you prefer vinyl or cd?

vinyl!!! i actually don't own a single elvis cd, just vinyls(cassettes too!)

favorite album?

self titled and from elvis in memphis <3

favorite movie soundtrack?

king creole for SURE

favorite live performance?

the laughing version of are you lonesome tonight 😅 also welcome to my world from aloha from hawaii !!!

a live performance you wish you were present at?

aloha from hawaii 100% but also literally any of his vegas shows in '69 because that entire live album had me laughing my ass off LMAO

favorite jumpsuits?

THIS ONE.

favorite movie(s)?

king creole, loving you, live a little love a little, follow that dream and girl happy(mostly because elvis in a dress)

least favorite movie(s)?

stay away joe, kissin' cousins, and double trouble.

favorite costar?

michele carey <3 i luv bernice

favorite documentary?

that's the way it is

favorite interview?

i didn't even have to THINK about this one. i know this is a press conference but idk. same thing? anyway, june 9th 1972 new york hilton elvis i want you so bad !!!!!! it's iconic and i just love how he is with everyone 😭

favorite car?

idk after i first watched elvis (2022) i wanted a pink cadillac so LOL

do you collect merch? if so, what's the one thing you hold most dear to your heart?

i do!! i have his vinyls mostly. but my tcb necklace is my lucky charm at this point, i just wish i had gotten it in silver instead of gold 😅

do you think you'll be a fan of elvis for the rest of your life?

absolutely. ive had a lot of interests and have lost interest in a lot of things but this is so much more different. he truly is everything to me and i've never felt so connected with someone in my whole life. i really do adore him.

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

stop hating on the Coffee Theory ffs

ok listen.

I've considered Aziracrow to be amoral & selfish AT BEST, and hedonistic, uncaring and totally disregarding of human free will, nature, or anything but them selves at worst, WELL before s2. My views of both of these characters are, and always have been, FAR harsher than anything these anti-Coffee Theory posts are arguing for.

I'm also really, really, REALLY tired of seeing ppl getting heated and making "anti"/"critical" posts ovr a random, fluffy, tropey-asf fan theory.

I'm ride-or-die for the Coffee Theory. I love it. Here's why:

The two months after a DEVASTATING finale are explosions of creativity and expression in fandoms, even if some of it is Extremely Silly(tm). If the Coffee Theory is still as prevalent and simplistic in a few months, maybe there's a problem- but like, it's only been a week.

It might end up leading to a deeper/better theory, I've seen some posts trending that way. It might be consigned to the realm of au fic or fade away altogether once the shock of ep 6 isn't as strong and ppl have had time to rly think abt it. Or, it could vanish as a specific theory/hc, but leave trends/tropes behind for GO/Fandom as a whole to play with.

The level of Weird Obscure Bible Shit that ppl are researching to justify it is genuinely delightful, I've never seen a whole fandom really hit the lorebooks for fix-it content like this and would love if it became more common.

also it's been ONE WEEK.

have some faith that once the dust has settled and ppl start really thinking abt the events, they'll understand what Neil is trying to say.

to semi quote an anti-Coffee Theory post, the fandom will change their mind once ep6 wears off.

no it's not the point of the episode, or the character, or the show.

Let. People. Enjoy. Things.

ALSO.

whenever I see lines being drawn in fandom with terms like "anti-" or "(insert thing here) hate" or "(thing)-critical", and that Thing isn't something that's harmful in any way, red flags go up. this is a time of MASSIVE strife for writers and creators, and Neil has made it clear how much fandom needs to show up and show up LOUD both in support of a 3rd season and in general support for the ppl who make these stories. "anti-" and related mindsets carve up, distract and divide fandoms, I've seen it happen before with fandoms I was in.

this is the worst possible time to start pointing fingers at each other. Good Omens is a solid, supportive, amazing fandom, and the amount of anger and wank I've seen at this theory is ridiculous. I've NEVER gone on ANY good omens tag and just seen a screen of top-to-bottom angry/hateposting.

Click away, mute the tag, whatever, this is the NOT the time to section off the fandoms over something this fucking trivial!

the companies would LOVE if we were divided. they WANT us to point our anger and frustration at ANYONE BUT THEM. DONT GIVE THEM THAT. Get your tempers under control and use the mute button. Don't give them what they want.

We're an amazing fandom. this is a theory about coffee that kinda sorta ignores canon characterization.

also stop sending angry messages to Neil. wtf yall.

for fuck's sake just chill

[g0sts]

hit with tha "get to know me" tag game i love u guys! i was tagged by both @phasmama and @memosminifridge! im debby emoji fr, sorry it took me so long to get to it!

fave ships: well i apparently gravitate towards whatever the unifying thread of nandermo and jonmartin is (EDIT i fucking forgot about sted aka blackbonnet-but-i-think-im-hilarious, im in a fog today forgive me), but going further back we obviously had taakitz, preceded by destiel, preceded by johnlock, preceded all the way back in high school by tbh the blueprint of Feral Bitches Finding Each Other And Making Each Other Better And Worse All At Once... sophie and howlmovingcastle... oh wait but if we want a real throwback that still rips my heart from my chest a decade and a half later, kyo/tohru fruitsbasket. oof... gotta lie down... into the next...

first ship: well i hit on that in fave ships, but definitely kyo/tohru. back in fuckin middle school i could tell those two needed each other 😭

last song: i have spotify on right now so last one that finished was White Stripes - Icky Thump but the currently playing is yeule - Pretty Bones [EDIT from the bottom, Fleetwood Mac - The Chain is playing me out, so, that's fun for us, huh?]

currently reading: all i read is fic these days and i'll be honest i've fallen extremely behind However i'm extremely extremely invested in Alethophobia by @jay-auris and i am itching to catch up (smirk... u are not on tumblr to see this but im calling out thru the ether.... saturday.... read w me.... after pathfinder........) Literally fic of all time, yeah it's an AU but like. hear me out. it's phenomenal, it's an exceptional mystery, it's not even rly a slowburn imo they've just Been Thru It, jay is a wizard, the characterization is like. best i've seen tbh i'm Entranced and i think about it a Lot even when i fall behind

last movie: i . i think it was indeed glass onion lol

currently watching: i binged the first season of Only Murders In The Building earlier this week and am Obsessed, can't wait to watch season 2, show of all time. i'm having a mystery moment it seems

consuming: strawberry flavored water... barely... not a good food day oop im sorry

currently working on: alternating between two cross stitch projects (got one more coffin ornament Plus Another If I Am Not Out Of My Mind After This One, but my passion is in this rainbow quaker squares beast) AND in a new year's miracle, i have been Writing Again for [redacted] for an exchange (it has been literally like half a year since putting words to doc hasn't made me feel like clawing my skin off i am taking the W)

no pressure to do this if u don't feel like it! but tagging some folks i don't Think have been tagged: @wrath-of--the-lamb, @partiallyobscure, @fanfic-fugue, @space-jaam, @fivevotesdown, @nuclearparade, @gothwizardmagic, @2momsatbrunch, and tbh who ever wants to do it im tagging you too

[brainwashboy]

hiiii :3 i want to write more pervert hypno puppy fantasy stuff in ur anons but i need to ask what anatomy terms are okay to use (like some tmasc puppies prefer dick or tdick while some prefer boypussy, and the same for other areas like the chest). wanna make sure i write something u can rly mindlessly drool and edge yourself to enjoy ^_^

Hi! Tysm for asking! So mine are a bit everywhere since I'm into some light feminization some less dysphoric days. I'll list my main green lights though.

For my chest, chest and tits are the best bet. The word boobs can give me the squick when referring to myself. Nipples is fine too lol.

For my actual holes: cunt and pussy are good, boypussy is great.. Putting 'boy" in front makes it hotter tbh. Dick is cool, tdick is best, and clit is good when used sparingly. Again, 'boyclit' rocks. Putting 'boy' in front of anything really skshkssj If all else fails, 'Hole' is fine, especially for degrading purposes. Ass is ass.

As for complements I take them all. Again, just don't be weird and misgendeing with it.

Honestly, I can tell REALLY fucking well when someone talking to/about me sees me as an actual dude VS someone who sees me as "girl lite" or a "fake___boy" (hopefully this doesn't show up in that tag.) So unless those are your intentions I promise you're gonna be fine.

Also feel free to claim a sign off, anon! I'd love to add you to my collection. I need to list the taken emojis soon.

[sadability]

hello!! i was scrolling thru the obey me tag & I saw that ur avail w matchups rn so i'd like to have an obey me match up! ^^

i checked ur profile & i dont think u specified on what info we should write of ourselves so pls don't mind if my format is gonna b rly messy ;_; (lmk tho if u did put some specific template or format on what we should write in ur match ups!)

I'm from asia, height is 164 cm/5'4 ft, im still a student but i do side hustles sometimes, for my age i prefer if u don't rlly count it in the match up since yk the characters in om are like all ancient lmfao so age will definitely already have a big gap but just in case u need it im turning 18 this dec:)

so anw my mbti is IDK im honestly confused but I think mbti/cognitive functions are interesting. im a sagittarius ♐. i like to think that im an ambivert, but at first i may definitely come off as shy reserved to others, but friendly to to others tbh it depends if I find them approachable/scary or not. my hobbies are reading, writing, sing & dance (but I suck at it lmfao). lately I'm also into podcasts,also recently I like to take night walks in my neighborhood:)

personality wise. . . i like to think myself as an open minded person:]. a friend of mine refers to me as a golden retriever and in my circle of friends im known to be the joker goofy one, but some also refer to me as a 'listener' or 'therapist. w my friends im sarcastic and dramatic ironically lmfao. anyways,, out of my main friend group and just to other people/casual friends, acquaintances or schoolmates, they refer to me as nice, friendly, chill. OHH and I think im expressive bc people say my face tends to express a lot of emotion even tho I don't rly intend to :’). my flawss? I've been said that I tend to yap sometimes lmfao. i also think I can be absent minded especially when I'm under pressure :’) I don't take pressure well huhu. so that means I'm not rly adaptable either. also i can be indecisive. also another info im a homebody but like it's not rly obvious at first bc sometimes I force myself to go out bc a lot of my friends in my friend group r outgoing & I don't wanna make them disappointed or smth (sometimes I make up an excuse tho so I don't go out lmfao). oh and I'm a night owl and prolly have undiagnosed insomnia /lh

anw I think I explained a lot (tbh too much actually) of my personality ngl so I'm gonna try my best to make my lists of interests short: I'm interested in biology, zoology, and history. I hate physics w all my heart. I like coffee, but tea is ok too. I like video game lore but I'm usually too lazy to play the game itself and I usually play fast paced games and valorant. current fave book is: romancing mr bridgerton from the bridgerton series. current fave show is: romance killer. my music taste is all over the place so I don't rly have a fave music genre.

anw that's all, have a good day!! thank u so much for reading & I'm sorry if it's too long. it's ok if u don't wanna answer this match up yet, take ur time!! once again thank u v much u don't need to answer this!

WHAT IS BRIDGERTON EVRYONE KEEPS TALKIN ABOUT IT RAHHH

Anyway!! I match you with...Satan!! :D

I think you two would be absolutely adorable together!! Satan would be very protective of you and always try to make sure you're comfortable, especially when meeting the demons for the first time. He would listen to your rambles and shut anyone that tries to speak over you up. Would let you roam his library and pick out any books you want, occasionally reading you to sleep :D Will hand you giant ass history books, biology books and zoology books. Will teach you about demon world animals too! He'd also love staying home with you and cuddling, just relaxing with each other ESPECIALLY when his brothers are out for the day

[ca-suffit]

U know, I dropped the show and only know whats happening on it through mutuals reblogging gifs now. Not necessarily because it's bad, it's actually really amazing and so much better than those old dusty books, but because I'm fucking tired of these racist cunts everywhere! I want to reblog some gifs or some funny posts or pics and I have to go through them clogging the tags with their bullshit racist takes and "book knowledge" or whatever.

And you bet that if you tell them that they are the ones pushing ppl away from the show they cry "but we're not! we're the good ppl! anyway don't let fandom ruin something u enjoy!" but they don't realize that yes, shitty fandoms ruins cool shit for ppl all the fucking time — happened to me before, happened to ppl I know too.

But u know what Ca, whatever — lets see if their little white fandom group of 10 ppl can keep this show on air for long and renewed for more seasons lol It will be funny to see how much they don't need us

I had a lot of hope that the show fandom would fix a lot of this but it just ended up getting worse (this is not show fan's fault, btw, I'm not trying to say that). I've barely been here with an account now and the hate I've had aimed at me has been crazy. It would be worse if ppl knew anything about me personally too. I've seen them do this to ppl over and over again, before the show and now. There's been a lot of rly great ppl they've run off. This would be a much bigger fandom if not for the constant cycles of bullying. It used to rly be just white women doing this, now it's a whole mixed race group who says racism is ok because I gave u permission to attack the "bad" ones, let's go after all the ppl who talk about race and are the "real" racists. are u fucking kidding me.

It is rly funny how they're so worried about viewership numbers while literally doing everything in their power to turn ppl off of engaging at all. A lot of these ppl are rly old too, like parents to p grown ass kids. grandparents even?? It's so gd cringe. I luv this show too but fuck I also don't rly gaf either tbh. I'm here because it gets white fandom to stfu a lot, they were getting rly out of line without someone hitting back, but this is exhausting. This all sucks so much and for what reason? Like rly what fucking reason. jfc.