#don't really go there anymore but I THINK ITS HILARIOUS

[loverboybrightsideghost]

i forgot quite how many avengers references there are in rqg

[ghostly-cabbage]

We need to talk about the worst thing about making AUs....

The fact that then when you inevitably think about crossovers you don't want the crossover with the canon you want it with your specific AU. Your brain worms, your circus, but THEN WHAT?

Oh, yeah, to understand this crossover you need to go read this entirely different fic/series? Girl help 😭 you can't do that

[creativesplat]

Both generations of Pines Twins were arrested. What were they doing? They’ll never tell you. 

[zorosangell]

⛥ﾟ・。 onigiri

synopsis: zoro's on a training binge and refuses to bathe... that is, unlesss its with you (let's be real he would absolutely do this shit)

cw: nsfw (implied), lots and lots of comfort, zoro's a little emotionally constipated, you and nami are besties, he really does love you a whole lot, etc.

a/n: just wanted to let you guys know that both this and piña colada are filler chapters in protector. i haven't posted all the chapters on here but if you wanna read it on wattpad then heres the link: PROTECTOR--wattpad

"(y/n)! You have to save us! I can't take it anymore!" Nami exclaimed, bursting into the kitchen with a dramatic flourish. 

You paused mid-shaping, looking up from your rice ball and raising a brow.

"Nami? What's up?" you asked, confused, and a little concerned. "Is everything alright?"

"No... it's not..." she sniffled, walking up to the bar and taking a seat before slumping herself over the counter. "And it's all Zoro's fault..."

With a small smile, you quelled your original worries, allowing your shoulders to sink and your hands to return to their work.

"What'd he do this time?" you chuckled, carefully kneading the rice in your hands, molding it into a triangle. "Leave his sweaty towels on the ground again?"

"Worse..."

"Shook the deck by dropping one of his heavy weights?"

"Even worse..."

You hummed with thought, doing your best to recall the worst of your swordsman's many transgressions against your navigator.

"Ate the tangerines off one of your trees without asking?"

"Somehow even worse than that..."

You gave up with a laugh, unable to come up with anything else.

"I fold," you smiled, patting a thick piece of seaweed onto the rice ball. "What'd he do?"

"It's this stupid training binge!" Nami groaned, lifting her head from the counter. "He's been working out in the crow's nest for six days straight! And he's starting to stink up the ship!"

Frustrated, she slammed her fist on the wood, her grip tightening with hilarious fury.

"I tried to go up there and get him to bathe, but he completely blew me off!"

With a huff, her gaze lifted to you, and almost immediately softened, curbing her anger if only by a hair.

"You know this warrior-training nonsense better than I do... so could you please talk him into washing his ass? Pretty please!" she pleaded, clasping her hands together and  throwing on her best puppy dog face. "At this rate, he's gonna fumigate the whole Sunny..."

With a soft grin, you nodded, placing your finished onigiri on a plate with the rest of them.

"I got it covered," you assured, picking up the plate and walking out from behind the counter. "Don't worry about the thing."

"Thank you, (y/n)!" she cheesed, jumping up from her seat and throwing her arms around your neck, pulling you into a tight hug. "Have I ever told you how much I love ya?"

You chuckled, using your free-hand to return it happily.

Your best friend never failed to make you smile.

"I don't think you'd ever let me forget."

"Zoro? You still in here?" you called, peeking your head into the crow's nest, the rhythmic shink of his weights letting you know he was, indeed, still in here.

Though, before you could hear a response, you were bombarded by a smell that could only come from a man immersed in his work.

'Or immersed in his musk...'

Fighting off the urge to scrunch your nose, you walked further into the room, the shadows giving way and revealing the man of the hour in all his sweaty glory, toiling away with a freakishly large and heavy weight.

"5566... 5567... 5568... 5569... 5570..."

You watched quietly, with both awe and intrigue, as he swung the weight around with perfect control, almost as if it was a training sword.

His back muscles rippled and twitched with each minute movement, stretching and flexing to accommodate the weight's large size, the veins in his forearms and neck bulging with concentration.

Not to mention his grunts of effort, which were awfully similar to how he sounded when he—

"Y'need somethin', (y/n)?" Zoro asked, ripping you from your thoughts, while still keeping up his cadence and count. 

A tinge of warmth settled on your cheeks, having been caught, but you quickly shoved it away, focusing on the task at hand.

"You've been at this for a while, Zo'," you started, flying into the air and toward one of the even larger weights that sat across from him, taking a seat. "I think it's time you took a break."

"Can't," he grunted out, his swing in perfect sync. "I gotta get to ten-thousand... Then I've got a high intensity leg circuit... before I switch over to core."

'Gods...'

To, quite literally, anyone else, this workout would kill them.

"But it's almost midnight. And from what I've seen, you've only slept for two hours in the past week," you added, concerned.

"That's part of my training," he huffed, grinding out his 5863rd swing. "On the battlefield... I won't be well rested... gotta make sure I can still be at top form in this state..."

You sighed, jumping down and landing next to him.

You should've known this was gonna be a struggle.

"That, I understand... but the least you can do is take the rest of the night off. You can always start back up in the morning," you tried again, a little firmer. "Besides, you smell... over-worked."

But he, yet again, denied, this time saying nothing at all, the shink-shink of his weight filling the silence.

You huffed, cheeks puffing with frustration.

'Looks like I'll have to pull out the big guns...'

Slyly, you rested your hand on his shoulder, his movement halting and flesh tensing under your touch.

"C'mon, Zo'... just one little bath?" you pleaded, your voice lowering to a sultry tone, one you knew made him agree to almost anything. "I promise I'll do all the work... you won't have to lift a finger."

Looking at your face, Zoro couldn't help the sudden extra beat to his heart, as it was something he became accustomed to while being in your presence. 

He didn't understand why his knees felt weak when you talked to him like that, or why the tension in his shoulder was magically relieved by your touch.

But what he did understand was that he now had the sudden urge to sit down.

'Dammit...'

You were dangerous.

With an "annoyed" groan, he caved, dropping his weight and allowing you to take his hand, leading him toward the exit of the crow's nest with a giddy smile.

And though he tried to mask it, he couldn't help but be infected by your warmth, the feeling so potent that he had to physically bite back his smirk.

"How's the water?" you asked, picking Zoro's discarded clothes off the ground and tossing them in the hamper as he sank into the large bath.

He let out a heavy sigh, allowing his eye to softly drift shut, "Amazing," he admitted, resting his arms on the tub's rim. "Nice 'n' hot, how I like it."

Internally, you pumped your fist in victory, covering your tracks by turning your back to lay out one of his towels.

With a grin, you grabbed the plate you'd rested on a nearby table, "Y'hungry? I made some onigiri."

He glanced at you with a slightly widened eye, pleasantly surprised.

He forgot you could cook.

Before Sanji joined up, you were the one who cooked for the crew, grilling, frying, and sauteing whatever the guys could catch.

And from what the swordsman could remember, it was pretty damn good, but he hadn't had your cooking since Water 7.

"I figured you would need a little pick me up after all that training, so I stuffed 'em full of sea king meat."

Tentatively, he took one off the plate, staring at it as if it was some sort of alien thing.

You combined his two favorite foods...

You knew his two favorite foods...

"You didn't have to do all this..." he stated, glancing up at you.

"No shit," you lightly chuckled, taking a seat on the ledge. "I know I didn't have to. I wanted to."

Sending a feather, you snatched the shampoo from the bathroom counter, bringing it back to you.

"You've been working hard... so I figured you deserved something nice."

Just as you were about to squeeze some into your hand, Zoro realized you still had your clothes on, and was suddenly confused.

"You're not getting in?" he asked, muffled by the delicious, stress-melting food in his mouth.

You paused, turning to him with a raised brow, "Did you want me to?"

And without an ounce of hesitation—

"Yes."

Your chest buzzed at his quick answer, and you gave him a warm smile before standing up and turning around, pulling off your shirt and tugging down your shorts.

And with your back turned, Zoro allowed himself to gawk freely, eyes greedily taking in the soft curves of your body as they were revealed to him.

Your hair swished past your hip as you bent over to pull your shorts off your ankles, giving him a perfect view of the globe of your ass, along with a tiny peek at your core.

'Goddamn...'

How he was going to keep it together, he had no clue.

"Alright," you sighed, carefully stepping into the water before situating yourself back on the ledge, squeezing some shampoo into your hand. "Gimme your head."

Smoothly, he moved over to sit between your legs, facing the wall as your fingers carded through his hair, massaging his scalp in a way he never thought possible.

It felt like heaven.

You let out a small chuckle as his head practically fell into your lap, heart nearly melting as his eye slid shut with a content hum.

'Adorable...'

With that as motivation, you pulled out all the stops, raking your nails through his hair, using your thumbs to massage the pressure points behind his ears, peppering kisses along his hairline.

The whole nine.

At one point, you were almost completely positive he fell asleep.

When you finished, you used a pitcher to carefully rinse the suds out, making sure all the shampoo was gone before finally sliding into the tub yourself.

But before you could do anything else, Zoro quickly grabbed your hips, carefully pulling you into his lap.

He didn't say anything, but his eyes made it perfectly clear what he wanted you to do.

And, of course, you obliged, grabbing a sponge and softly gliding it across his chest, pressing kisses on his bruises, your power healing them away.

You went on like this across his entire body, diligent in making sure you didn't miss a single one, completely oblivious to the look he was giving you, or the feeling in his chest.

It was as if you were hanging the stars in the sky right before his eyes.

The man wasn't used to so much love and affection all at once, and he was beginning to realize that he'd barely shown you any.

His heart and his head began feeling as heavy as lead, guilt digging into his chest at the revelation.

 The last thing he wanted was for you to think he didn't care about you, because, in all actuality, it was the complete opposite.

"You alright, Zo'?" you asked, tenderly cupping his cheek in your hand, brows furrowed in concern at his sudden shift in expression. "You want me to stop?"

"No," he firmly assured, adjusting his grip on your waist and abruptly hiking you up higher on his lap.

You let out a small yelp of surprise at the sudden movement, though your attention was quickly stolen by the man staring up at you, his eyes swimming with hesitation and uncertainty.

Smoothly, one of his hands slid up to the small of your back, his thumb drawing small, anxious circles on your flesh.

"I..." he paused, taking a few more seconds to gather his thoughts. "I'm not good at this..."

Your face fell almost instantly, confused, "What are you talking about?"

"This," he clarified, glancing at the bath, shampoo, and empty plate. "Gestures... romance... it's not exactly my thing."

He let out a sigh, the sound, along with his expression, making it clear that we was beating himself up over the matter.

"But I want to try... for you..."

A warm smile settled on your lips, his honesty both incredibly appreciated and incredibly admirable.

His communication skills had come a long way.

"Can't promise I'll be as mushy as Curly Brow... or the gentlemen Nami thinks I should be—"

"You wouldn't be you if you were," you assured with a grin, resting your hands on his chest. "If I wanted a mushy, gentle guy, I'd pick up any guy on the street. And you, Zoro, are not any guy on the street."

You let out a small chuckle, resting your forehead on his.

"Besides, I like my guys a little rough."

"Oh, do you, now?" he smirked, teasingly, his hand coming around to cup the back of your neck, pulling you close.

You let out a happy squeal as he pressed his lips against yours, your body melting into him instantly.

As you relished the feeling of his strong hands gliding against your skin, you kissed him back, using your position on his lap to get the angle on him and further deepening the kiss.

Both of you were outpouring gallons upon gallons of emotion, the atmosphere so heavy and passionate that as far as you both were concerned, there was no one but the two of you on the ship.

Though, to Sanji's severe disappointment, and Nami's severe annoyance, it was not just you two on the ship.

You and Zoro's little After-Bath "party" in the bathroom was heard by everyone on the crew (except for Chopper, thankfully), and marked the last time Nami ever asked you to make Zoro take a bath. 

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

MIDNIGHT TROUBLES

Pairing: Show!Luke Castellan x apollo!fem!reader!

warnings: swearing, fluff (i guess?) angst, mentions to the giggidy (nothing actually happens), derogatory terms/names used

A/N: i was sleep deprived and cluelesss when writing this so enjoy :)

part two: meet me at midnight | part three: its not midnight anymore

You've been friends with Luke Castellan since the day you showed up at camp drenched in water and he showed you around. You've been inseparable since then - y/n and Luke. Luke and y/n, you were a package deal, wherever one went the other followed.

On this particular day you had seated yourself down on a sunny patch of grass to sing. Luke had settled himself a few feet away from you pretending not to listen as your lips parted and sound sweeter than any strawberry escaped your mouth.

His eyes shut peacefully as your song washes over him. He's always loved your singing, everyone does, your song can seem to stop time for a few moments. But Luke likes to think he loves it the most - he's your best friend, of course he gets that right.

Once you finish singing you open your eyes and Luke is staring at you with pure amazement and... something else you can't quite place. Whatever it is, it's gone in a blink. "That was beautiful, y/n," he smiles.

"Like you," you tease standing up and reaching up to ruffle his hair. "You do know you don't have to sit with me and listen every time I sing don't you?"

"Yeah, I know. But I want to," Luke says, standing up with you and pulling you into a side hug. "You've got a really beautiful voice y/n."

You brush it off and wrap your arm around his waist walking along with him. "Oh but its not as beautiful as yours," you joke and Luke's laugh vibrates through you sending a jolt of tingles and a wave of repressed feelings.

You watch as Luke laughs and can't help but smile yourself. You and Luke have been deemed the camp's Mom and Dad. If anything was wrong and you didn't want to take it to Mr D or Chiron the campers would go to you two, Apollo and Hermes cabin counsellors. That's when the rumours started. Luke and y/n are dating. Although you've both denied it several times the campers never listened and you were dubbed Mom and Dad.

Even though you denied it, a small- a medium- okay a pretty huge part of you wants it to be true. I mean who wouldn't want Luke Castellan to be their boyfriend? He has offers piling up every day from girls. You're pretty sure you've even seen someone offer him a fucking apple with the words 'will you go out with me' carved into it. Luke said no of course - she was a frigging psycho - but even then he never said yes to any of the offers, the ones that you knew about anyway.

"I got patrol tonight after the campfire," you sigh and break away from Luke to give a younger boy from Aphrodite a hug when he showed you his result from arts and crafts. Not noticing how Luke tenses beside you until the boy runs off to tell his friends you hugged him.

"I'll come with you, there's bound to be some shit heads sneaking off to go hook up," he rolls his eyes looking directly at some Ares camper who you've both caught several times. "And besides, gods know you couldn't handle the dark without me."

You scowl at Luke smacking him. "Haha very funny, a daughter of the sun god is afraid of the dark, it's hilarious." Luke just grins and catches your hand against his chest, holding it there, when you go to hit him again. Your laughter fades and you both just stare at each other for a moment neither of you wanting to break it but also wanting to admit to the other that there was something happening.

Luke clears his throat and drops your hand gently. "Whatever loser, you're the one stuck with me," you tease and kiss his cheek. Walking away before you lose your nerve. Holy shit why'd you do that? you scream inside your head. What the fuck? Why? Why? You couldn't have walked away normally, but noooo you had to kiss his fucking cheek.

You press the palm of your hands into your eyes and accidentally slam into someone. "Shit sorry!" you cry out looking down to see the poor camper you practically ran over.

"It's okay! It's okay!" Percy says looking up at you and then over at Luke who hasn't moved since you walked away. "Did you break him or something?"

"Or something," you mutter, helping Percy up. "Sorry again, Percy." You force a smile onto your face and sigh as you look at Luke.

"Yeaaah, you messed him up damn." Percy drawls. "Like really messed him up. Damn what did you do? Did you like, kick him in the balls or something?"

"Percy!" you shout shutting him up. He doesn't even have the decency to look apologetic when he says sorry and then scurries off when Grover calls out to him.

Sighing, you shake your head and grumble to yourself about its going to be hella awkward tonight.

~~~

Something was wrong with Luke's heart. It hadn't stopped beating wildly since y/n had kissed him on the cheek and he was trying to control his erratic pulse when he rises up the steps to your cabin.

He knocks twice on the door and takes a deep breath when you open the door and look up at him. The deep breath is cut short when he notices you're wearing his hoodie. You smile up at him and ask, "you ready to go catch some horny teens?"

He nods and lets you lead the way. "Sure, yep, let's go Sunflower." You both walk in silence for the first two minutes before Luke works up the courage to say, "nice hoodie, there by the way, it matches your flashlight."

You twist around and grin ignoring his dig at your flashlight - it's white with a bunch of sunflowers hand painted on. "Yeah, some super, cool, really annoying guy gave it to me." Luke's eyebrow arches and you roll your eyes. "Fine, I stole it from the guy, cause it's soft and smells nice," you mumble that last part and Luke tilts his head at you in question.

"What was that last part?"

"It's soft?"

"No, the other part?"

You're quiet for a moment before mumbling, "it smells..... nice."

Luke practically stops breathing, but covers it up with a smirk. "You think I smell nice?"

You internally slap yourself. "Yes," you quietly answer. Well you know what? When you thought it was going to be awkward earlier? That's nothing compared to the tension right now.

A loud moan comes from up ahead behind the trees and you sigh tugging the hoodie closer before running up ahead to break up whatever situation is happening.

"Hey!" you yell out to the two campers whose clothes are dishevelled and hair all mussed up. "Get back to your cabins! And when I say cabins I mean your own cabin." The two kids scramble away back to their cabins swearing.

"Fuckers," Luke mutters from behind you. "I swear they always choose the same spot."

You spin around and smile, "they'll be back don't worry, you can bust them next time."

After you both make your rounds, catching three other couples, you end up in a secluded spot near the lake.

"So," you start looking out to the water, smiling softly. "What do you wanna talk about?" You shove the flashlight in the front pocket just soaking in the moonlight - and besides Luke's here, he protects you from the dark.

Luke looks over at you and steps closer wrapping a hand around each of your - well technically his - hoodie's drawstrings. "I don't really know..." he trails off and then looks down at you, your eyes shining in the moonlight. And then something must've possessed him because he leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on your forehead.

You look up at him in surprise. "What was that for?" You ask, noticing how Luke's eyes shine with affection.

"Just paying you back for earlier."

You both freeze then - not tensing up but just not moving. Staying in the small bubble that you two have created for yourselves. The comfort of the silence that surrounds you both covers you like a blanket.

Your faces inch closer, your breaths mingling as your eyes meet and you swear you can hear your heartbeat. Can Luke hear how loud your heart is beating? Like seriously? It's so loud.

Everything seems perfect before a loud laugh erupts in the distance. You sigh and pull away from him and start walking over to where the noise came from. Were you going to kiss just then? Holy shit. Was that actually happening?

Luke's presence at your side sends you into a tailspin. Does he like you? Or was he only doing that out of pity. You reach into the hoodie to pull out your flashlight but a hand wraps around your own and you skid to a stop, looking down at Luke's hand intertwined with yours.

Luke doesn't stop though, he just keeps walking, hopefully not noticing how red your cheeks are right now.

You both round the path and find a girl sitting on a fallen log hidden in the trees, she's wrapped in nothing but a blanket she must've brought from her cabin. When the girl sees you - well more like see's Luke - her eyes brighten up.

"Oh Luke! You're finally here! I was waiting for you." A frown instantly replaces the soft smile you have on your face.

"What?" Your voice is quiet and confused.

The girl shoots you a smug look. "What? Did you actually think Luke wanted to spend time with you tonight?" She smirks. "He was only killing time to spend it with me."

What?

You know what the girl is saying is wrong but when you look at Luke you almost start crying. He's quiet at your side staring harshly at the girl. He's not denying it. He's not denying it!

"Lukey and I have plans now bitch-girl, leave." Your teeth clench so tightly you're afraid you're gonna break your jaw. Why isn't Luke SAYING ANYTHING??

You stare frigidly at the girl. "Look, I wanna say Gina..?" she asks purposely misnaming you.

"It's y/n."

"Right that's what I said," she smirks. "Now unless you want to watch me and Luke roll around on the ground here I suggest you leave."

You stay put fighting your ground. Why is Luke not saying anything??

"Ooh we've got a bit of a slut on our hands do we? Damn Gina, I didn't know you were into kinky shit."

"I don't-"

She cuts you off. "It's fine I don't mind you watching like the whore you are."

WHY ISN'T LUKE SAYING ANYTHING?

The girl turns her eyes on Luke again. "I'm waiting for you Luke. Tell her to piss off. Or better yet, tell her that we've been sleeping together."

Luke stays quiet, his eyes locked on the girl.

What. The. Fuck?

The girl opens her mouth to start again but you turn around before she can say anything else.

"Y'know what? I'll leave you two to it," you spit, forcing the tears that spring to your eyes to stop.

"Wait y/n!" Luke calls out suddenly, but you've already launched into a sprint not caring what he has to say now. He didn't deny it. He didn't deny it. He didn't deny it.

Tears blur your eyes and you struggle to pull out your flashlight, tripping over a tree root and stumbling to the ground. You face plant onto the ground and even though you're wearing long pants you can feel your skin being torn.

It's dark and cold

You have scratches along your face and arms - where the hoodie pushed up - everything burns your skin, your face, your eyes, your heart.

He didn't deny it.

You pat around looking for your flashlight. No, no, no, no, no. It can't be lost, no! Luke painted it for you, when you first came to camp and when he found out you were afraid of the dark.

Luke made that. Your Luke made tha-

Your face crumples.

Luke.

He didn't deny it. He didn't say anything. He didn't stop her.

Your heart heavy as you do so, you stand up, fighting the new wave of tears that threaten to overcome you.

A chill hits you and you pull the dirty hoodie closer. It still smells like Luke.

And...

And its dark...

Shit.

Anger pools deep in your gut. She called you a slut and a whore.

That bitch better watch it.....

©strawberries-and-summer-days

a/n: lemme know if you want a part two!!

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 2 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

agatha going UGH!!!!! when she sees jen's name. are you a toddler?? are you four????

"bougie probiotique" lmao

AGATHA

she's here she's queer she's gonna put an egg up her vajeer

sasheer zamata the glorious gay goddess that you are

"jen the potions guy" sounds amazing. I'd use that on my business cards

aaand once again I'm billy

I love that these two have clearly known and hated each other for centuries - sometimes you just see an enemy and immediately go, oh it's you motherfucker. and I think that's beautiful. (dear lord that store is so pink)

and once again: hilarious dialogue, heavy and dark undertones. jen has very, very legitimate reasons to hate and mistrust agatha, even more than she realizes. she will never open up to agatha like the others, and that's both fair and sexy of her. tbh she was too kind all things considered, that bitch deserved her ass kicked from here to the afterlife

case in point, agatha knows jen well enough to manipulate her into joining them. and jen knows agatha well enough to say what will hurt her. she picked the worst thing she could come up with

billy and the audience don't notice that agatha has just been stabbed in the heart

partners in crime, once again! agatha is so proud of her boy's lil manipulative side. and yep, billy is not as naive as he tries to appear. he's still a bit clueless, but he tries.

love how they're so deliberate in depicting the witches as a legit community with its own culture and history.

watch this scene again. now think about the rage and soul and desperation jen pours into winning her powers back from agatha. look at the way these two are being both so casual and so callous about jen's deep, bleeding trauma. not so funny a scene anymore, is it?

agatha shoving a fistful of paper in her mouth so she doesn't have to say rio's name also goes in the top five funniest list. she'll never beat the toddler allegations

and now she's gobbling a corn dog! see what I have to deal with here?? how can I keep it classy?

what's really iconic is bringing your gay son to hot topic

alice always looks a little hunched down, as if she had, idk, a giant disgusting harpy sitting on her shoulders. the more I think about it the sadder it gets

oooh, those are dorothy pigtails. i get it now.

you know, I said yesterday that agatha successfully cons jen and alice, but that's not true. she couldn't have swayed jen without billy's help, and she had alice completely wrong. she thought alice was looking for her mom, but Lorna didn't die on the Road and alice always knew it was a con - she's actually the world's biggest Road expert after agatha herself. seems like Agatha is pretty desperate and out of her depth without her mind reading powers. (wait, do we think billy is the one doing the mind reading, is that why he got to jen so easily?)

seeing her being so cruel with people's deep seated traumas is really upsetting me. especially considering how she guards her own trauma. feeling guilty afterwards is no justification, she knows exactly what she's doing.

these two need their own show. oh wait, they already have it.

but agatha saying "we don't need her" and then pushing people around in the mall - she is upset about what she just did to alice. and she's almost relieved she said no, that she gets to spare her. sweet, sad alice, so spiky on the outside, soft as a marshmallow on the inside. she did not deserve any of this. her death is entirely on agatha.

sighing and looking wistfully out of the window, she's in pain but determined to go on

meanwhile detective agnes is working hard to figure billy out, you can practically see the gears turning inside her head. I think at this point she already kind of knew, tbh. "I have a theory, but I need more."

aw

see you next for the ending of episode 2. and this time I'm giving a shoutout to @one-step-at-a-time25, who was having a lot of fun in the tags!

go to episode 2 part 4

[qqueenofhades]

I just read an article on The Conversation that states: "Today, most data has Trump narrowly beating Biden in the national popular vote, albeit within the statistical margin of error." (Source for that data: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/polls/president-general/)

In your opinion, is that true? How can that be possible after everything Trump has done? After the Insurrection? I'm terrified 😕

(For reference, the original article can be found at https://theconversation.com/five-reasons-why-trumps-republican-opponents-were-never-going-to-beat-him-223288?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=The%20Weekend%20Conversation%20-%202888329325&utm_content=The%20Weekend%20Conversation%20-%202888329325+CID_fceedfd21410eb8a7b6fd6e1124d9d54&utm_source=campaign_monitor_uk&utm_term=five%20reasons)

Short answer: no, I don't think it's true.

Long answer: no, I really don't think it's true. Here's why.

Broader context. A Republican has won the popular presidential vote only twice in the 21st century, and in the first of those occasions -- 2000 -- I use "won" very advisedly. We all know, or at least we should, about all the fuckery that went down in Florida with Bush vs. Gore and SCOTUS stepping in to stop the recount (which almost surely would have gone to Gore) and handing Florida, and thus the presidency, to George Dubya Bush by a mere 537 votes. Dubya then did win re-election and the popular vote/EC in 2004, in the throes of patriotic war fervor and the GOP's Swiftboating of John Kerry (who was a pretty terrible candidate to start with). Other than that? None. Zip. Nada. None. Even in 2016 when Trump squeaked out a win (and thus the presidency) in the Electoral College, he lost nationwide to HRC by over 3 million votes. He lost to Biden by 7 million votes nationwide last time. Also, the reason the GOP loves the antidemocratic Electoral College is that it always works in their favor, and because red states with relatively scant population are given the same power in the Senate. That's why California, with 40+ million people, gets two (Democratic) senators, and Wyoming, with 400,000 people, gets two (Republican) senators. There is just no way that red states can get the actual raw numbers to win the popular vote against heavily blue urban population centers. The only one that comes close is Texas, and while it's something of a white whale for Democrats who think fondly that it'll surely turn blue this election cycle (and then it doesn't), it's not giving all its votes popular-vote-wise to Republicans. So yeah. The numbers aren't there. Biden is about 99% certain to win the popular vote, but because this is America, the question is whether the EC will follow.

(Although, I gotta say. In the deeply unlikely event that Biden loses the popular vote but wins the Electoral College -- i.e. the exact same thing Trump did in 2016 -- the right wing would lose their fucking minds and it would be incredibly hilarious. Also, we might finally get some red states willing to sign up to the National Popular Vote Compact, which is just a few ratifications away from going into effect. As noted, the Republicans will cling onto the Electoral College with their last dying breath because it's the only thing that makes them competitive in nationwide elections. If it fucked Trump, they might finally listen to ideas about changing it.)

The media are incredibly biased, and so is Nate Silver. Silver first rose to prominence as an independent geeky Data Guy elections whiz-kid, and was relatively good at being unbiased. That is not the case anymore. He's now affiliated with the New York Times and has started echoing the smugly anti-Biden framework of both that paper and the mainstream media in general. I'm not necessarily saying his data is total bunk, but he's extremely eager to frame, narrate, and explain it in ways that artificially disadvantage Biden (in the same way the NYT itself is all in on "BUT HIS AGEEEEE," just as they were with "BUT HER EEEEEEMAILS" in 2016) And that's a problem, because:

The polls are shit. Like, really, really shit. Didn't we just go through this in 2022, where everyone howled about how All The Data pointed to a Red Wave and then were /shocked pikachu face when this was nothing more than a Red Dribble of Piss (and frankly, the best midterm election result for the ruling party since like, the 1930s?) We've also had major, real-time proof that the polls are showing a consistent pro-Trump bias of 10 or more points, which is a huge error and keeps getting corrected whenever people actually vote, but the media will never admit that, because TRUMP IS WINNING WE ARE ALL DOOMZED!! We heard about how Biden might lose New Hampshire because he wasn't even on the ballot and that would be a critical embarrassment for him. He cruised easily with 68% (all write-in votes and FAR more than any other Democratic "candidate.") Meanwhile, Trump won New Hampshire by about 15% under what the polls had predicted for him (after doing the same and barely squeaking over 50% in Iowa, one of the whitest, most rural, most Trump-loving states in the nation). The number ballparked for Biden in the NV Democratic primary was something like 75%; he got over 90% (and twice as many votes as any candidate in the Republican Primary/Caucus/Whatever That Mess Was). The number for what he was supposed to get in the SC primary was in the high 60% (driven by the media's other favorite "Black voters are abandoning Biden" canard); he absolutely crushed it at 97% statewide. When Biden is winning by whopping margins and Trump is underperforming badly, in both cases by gaps of ten percent or more, it means the polls are simply not showing us an accurate state of the race. This could be because of media bias, bad data, selective polling, inability to actually connect with voters (especially young voters, who are about as likely to eat a live scorpion as to pick up an unsolicited phone call from an unknown number). This also shows up in:

Special elections. We've heard tons of Very Smart Punditry (derogatory) about how Democrats kicking ass in pretty much every competitive election since Roe was overturned in 2022 totally means nothing for the general election. (Of course, if the situation was reversed and Republicans were cleaning up at the same rate, we would be hearing nothing except how we're all destined for Eternal Trumpocracy... wait. no... we're still only hearing this. Weird.) In the last special election in early February, Democrat Tom Suozzi won back his old U.S House seat (NY-03) by over eight points, after polls had given him at most a two- or three-point edge. (Funnily, once again a Democrat did far better than the media is determined to insist, so Politico hilariously called a thumping eight-point win "edging it out.") This represents almost a 16-point blue swing from even just 2022, when The Congressman Possibly Known as George Santos won it by 7 points. On that same night, a Democratic candidate in a Trump +26 district in deep, deep red Oklahoma only lost by 5 points, marking another massive pro-blue swing. This has been the case in every special election since Roe went down. Apparently blah blah This Won't Translate to the General Election, because the media is very smart. Even when Democrats (historically hard to motivate and muster in off-year election cycles, or you know in general) are turning up in elections that don't involve Trump to punish terrible Trumpist policies, we're supposed to think they won't be motivated to actually vote against the guy himself? And not just them, because:

Trump is a terrible candidate. Which we know, and have always known, but now it's really true. We've had up to half of Haley voters stating they will vote for Biden over Trump if that is the November matchup (which it will be). Haley, amusingly, actually outraised Trump in January, because it turns out that the Trump Crime Family's open promise to send every single donor or RNC dollar to pay El Trumpo's legal fees hasn't been a terribly effective message. We had Republicans in NY-03 telling CNN that they voted for the Democrat Suozzi because they're so fed up with the GOP clown show in the House and don't think Republicans can govern (which uh. Yeah. Welcome to reality, we all knew that ages ago too). We have had up to a third of Republican voters saying they won't vote for Trump if he's convicted of a felony before the election (and technically he already has been, but we're still hoping for the January 6 trial to go ahead). Now, yes, Republicans are a notoriously cliquey bunch and might change their minds, but for all the endless bullshit BIDEN SHOULD STEP DOWN BECAUSE DEMOCRATS ARE DISUNITED narrative the media has been pushing like their kidnapped grandmothers' lives depend on it, Democrats aren't actually disunited at all. Instead, Trump is in chaos, the GOP is in chaos, sizeable chunks of Republican voters are ready to vote for someone else and in some cases have already done so, and yet, do we hear a peep about how Trump should step down? Nah. In related news, did you hear that Biden is old?!?! Why isn't anyone writing about this?!?!

Now, I want to make it clear: Trump's chances of winning are not zero, and they are not inconsiderable. We need to face that fact and deal with it accordingly. Large chunks of the country are still willing to vote for white Christian nationalist fascism. Trump still has plenty of diehard cultists and the entire establishment Republican party in his pocket, and it's been made very clear that Putin is bringing the full force of his malevolent Russian fascist machine to bear on this election as well. Case in point: we spent four years hearing about HUNTER BIDEN HUNTER BIDEN SECRET CORRUPTION GIANT SECRET BUSINESS SCANDAL, and it turns out that the GOP's "star informant" has been actively working with Russian spies the whole time and fed them complete bullshit disinformation, which they were eager to repeat so long as it might hurt Joe Biden. (And it would hurt Ukraine, so, twofer! I cannot emphasize enough how much it was all a deliberate collaboration by some of the worst people on earth.)

In 2016, people naively assumed that Trump could never win, and so they were especially willing to throw away, spoil, or otherwise not exercise their vote, or throw purity hissy fits over HRC (likewise fed at the toxic teat of Russian disinformation). That was exactly what allowed Trump to squeak out a win in the EC and put us in the mess we are currently in. If people act in the same way in 2024 that they did in 2016, Trump's chances of winning are drastically increased. So once again, as I keep saying, it's up to us. If we all vote blue, and we get our networks to vote blue, Biden is very likely to win. If we don't, he won't, and Trump will win. It's that simple. We had better decide what we're doing. The end.

[mothgirl-number-4]

[Your time is done. You're satisfied.]

[You couldn't take your role back, but that's his fault for leaving you alone. You're satisfied.]

[You're satisfied. You fade at last.]

...

[You feel a thread pulled to its limits. A fire burning hot hot hot and something breaking, failing, rotting. You gag on nothing as starlight beams out of your eyes and mouth.]

[The string pulls, choking you as you attempt to scream, but you have no mouth. You attempt to cry, but you have no eyes.]

[The thread snaps.]

[You feel a pulling in your head.]

[And you feel your heart..

p

o

p

]

[You wake up in a room. The first thing you take in is UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. You scream and scream and scream- there are footsteps. You hear the familiar sound of healing craft as the pain subsides the slightest bit. Not enough to be anywhere near comfortable, but you aren't screaming anymore.]

[You sit up, hands grasping at what you realize far too late are bedsheets. They rip in your hands, piercing craft chugging through your fingertips like the drip drip drip of blood.]

[You're already babbling apologies when]-

"Oh thank goodness you're awake, bright stranger."

[That voice. Not from the healer you don't recognize them but you turn to the neighboring bed- you're in an infirmary? -and see another stranger.]

[You recognize that accent but you don't recognize... Him?]

"[Who-]"

[You cough on your words- Vaugardian, Loop! Try again~]

[The familiar stranger looks at you with wonder.]

"Say- say that again, will you?"

"[What, 'who?']"

"No- what was that language?"

[You don't know.]

"[I don't know. Where am I?]"

[The familiar stranger- you're just going to call him the King, it's too similar to be a coincidence. You've never been lucky enough to even consider otherwise. -looks disappointed before lighting up again. His Vaugardian is rough, but understandable.]

"Ah! You're in the Bambouche house of change! Or uhm... The one closest to Bambouche I think... I couldn't really understand them the best."

[The King looks awkward. How could this pathetic whelp end up as the intimidating monster that killed- Blinding- He's speaking]

"They call me castaway, but I prefer Beau, he and him, please. What about you?"

[Oh this is hilarious. The Change god thinks its so blinding funny doesn't it. You're laughing. You're cackling and guffawing and]-

"[Siffrin, they/them, nice to meet you!]"

"Oh, like the savior?"

[What.]

[trainsinanime]

I'm still considering whether I'll do any non-vague posting about this, but let me just say: Writing long and erudite posts about what you think is wrong with a French children's TV show does not absolve you from the accusation that you're doing… let's call it entry-level analysis. A post can be long and well-written and still just regurgitate the most basic, boring points, and some of them plainly wrong.

Actually maybe don't read this, it may be too salty itself.

"Adrien is sometimes too pushy", "Marinette is sometimes a stalker", "Alya is a bad friend because she's unwilling to bully a random new girl just because Marinette said so", yeah, yeah, we've heard it. More than once. Way more than once. Yes, even with receipts and quotes. Trust me, it's been discussed. These are the kind of standard hot takes of someone who is doing their first attempt at critical analysis, and I actually think on some level we should encourage that. I do believe fandom should be beginner-friendly in all regards.

But man, it can be annoying to read sometimes. Especially when someone uses these hot takes to justify the existence of salt fics. Let me be 100% clear here: Salt fics are not a reaction to flaws in the source material. Salt fics are materially different from fix-it fics. This becomes more clear when you track these patterns over fandoms, and in particular look at my favourite example over in Fairy Tail (sic).

That fandom has a number of fandom-specific plots, like some "angel of death sends main character back to relive the origins with the knowledge they had later" (also very popular in Harry Potter back in the day), but also one that is just 100% salt specific: It's about Lisanna, a childhood friend of the male lead Natsu, coming back from the alternate universe she was trapped in, and displacing Lucy, the female lead, who eventually leaves, sad and depressed, while nobody cares about her. The sentiments are all the same: Feeling depressed, feeling annoyed that your friends are suddenly interested in the new girl, feeling like you don't belong anymore, leaving your friend group to punish them and so on.

There are some differences as well. This whole thing was back in the days of Fanfiction.net, when crossovers were in a whole other section of the site and thus not easily findable, so the whole "…I'm going to run away to somewhere where people want me" never had the frankly hilarious addition of "…and when I'm there I'm going to marry Batman!", which spawned a whole sub-fandom in ML (its fans tell me that it's not all salt; I haven't bothered to check).

But the most important difference: The inciting incident never happened in canon. People just thought it might. In canon, Lisanna did return from her alternate dimension… and then immediately became a forgotten background character. Lucy and Natsu remained just as in love as they always had been, which is to say, very much except they don't seem to notice it. Their relationship was never strained even for a moment.

And still people wrote these stories that are functionally salt fics, with the same storylines, same emotions, same beats. Because salt fics are not about fixing what is wrong with the show. If they were, they'd spend all their time discussing the terribly fucked-up metro map. Salt fics are about exploring feelings of loneliness, isolation, "why are you hanging out with here when I told you she sucks" and just pure spite, in a way that you don't really see outside of pop songs. That is the end goal. The characters and plots are just a way to get there, and they will get twisted as necessary.

This is critical for understanding and discussing the phenomenon of salt fics. Alya is not actually getting demonised because she acted a bit stupid in one episode where everybody but Marinette acted a bit stupid. It's incredibly weird to hear this argument, and then all the supporting quotes for it, in the same post, right underneath, are all:

Alya: Okay, but do you have any proof? Marinette (angrily): Arrghlwargl! No!

Like, come on. Alya is getting demonised because people really want to. Because it works for the kind of story. These stories assume that it's Alya's job to always support Marinette unconditionally, and that any deviation from that, no matter how minor, is a highest order betrayal. And then they go full Count of Monte Cristo on her.

(Well, not really, that could almost be fun. Nobody ever has Marinette imprisoned for fourteen years, get out with the help of a hypnotist monk, use a buried pirate treasure to buy an island, then manipulate a telegraph line to… It's all just torn notebooks and such. Boring.)

The idea that people hate Alya for mostly valid reasons is just plain wrong and shows that you've missed a huge part of what's happening in the fandom. You could use all the Alya hate as an entry point into analysing what her role is in the show, how people in the fandom perceive her role, how people in the salt dom perceive her role, how her role and her personality shift depending on the needs of an episode at the expense of a consistent character and so on. There is some great analysis in that direction out there already, but more wouldn't hurt. "Alya is a bad friend sometimes because of Chameleon" remains an uninteresting take no matter how well you word it, though.

And that's just Alya. Adrien hate, for example, is its entirely own field. In short: Yes, some characters in this fandom are over-hated. Try digging deeper next time.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Could I have a main skellys + horrorfell react to a SO who is clumsy as hell?? Like its not a day without hearing a crash a few rooms over that after a second a yelling of "IM OKAY!"

Undertale Sans - He got scared the first few times, but after a while he's not even reacting lol. He's still waiting for the "I'm okay" to resume what he's doing though. It's fine. He's used to it.

Undertale Papyrus - He throws everything he's holding in his hands away to run to your rescue. Every time. He's relieved you're mostly not really hurt, but he will still scold you for not being careful enough.

Underswap Sans - He has a sixth sense now and somehow manages to catch you one time out of two before you fall. He's quite proud of his new superpower honestly. And ok, maybe he tried to make you trip once or twice to test if it's real but you don't need to know that.

Underswap Papyrus - He knows this struggle. He can't do anything to help you. He tried. But all he can do is run to you, trip on your body, and then fall on your back because his legs are too long and he can't control them properly. It's like a family curse now, all their kids will be clumsy as well. You created monsters.

Underfell Sans - He will scream an insult from somewhere in the house. Please stop doing that, you're giving him anxiety! He's tired of running in panic to see if you're not dead. Be careful! His soul can't take it anymore!

Underfell Papyrus - After the first few times where he panicked thinking you were getting murdered, Edge barely reacts anymore. He just sighs from wherever he is and stares at you until you stand back up.

Horrortale Sans - It's making him so anxious. Every time you fall, he's running and jumping in front of you, growling at the emptiness to protect you from whatever attacked you. He will attack the stairs, the pans, the water on the floor for revenge. Sometimes it gets a little silly, especially when he rolls on the floor to "kill" the water. He keeps forgetting you're clumsy, his instincts are talking for him.

Horrortale Papyrus - He screams every time he sees you fall, which scares you and makes you fall faster. He swears he tries to control it, but he can't help it. He's dramatic and it's scaring him. He's so going to lecture you about how to properly use your legs though.

Horrorfell Sans - He keeps trying to catch you before realizing... He has no arm... And falling with you because he did the gesture anyway and couldn't stop himself lol. He's usually grumpy all day after that and mumbling to himself, so mad.

Horrorfell Papyrus - You accidentally fell on him quite a few times, so now Chief rolls his wheelchair a few steps back and simply watches you fall flat on the floor with an unimpressed look. He can sometimes poke you with his wheelchair when you take too much time to stand up, just to make sure you're not dead or something.

Swapfell Sans - Most of the time, he catches you with his magic, but sometimes he gets annoyed and aggressively grabs your soul to yeet you in the couch so you stop hurting yourself already.

Swapfell Papyrus - He points you and does the "HA HA" sound from Nelson in the Simpsons. Yeah, if you're looking for any help from him, it's not going to happen. He thinks you're hilarious though and will make compilations of your falls on Youtube.

Fellswap Gold Sans - He gives you THE stare. The one that means "how the hell could humans survive this long when you're clearly all brain dead" kind of stare. You can feel him judging you deep in your soul. He won't move to help you though lol.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He runs to save you but somehow, he always makes things so much worse than what it need to be. Like that time you managed to stand up and he came running, tackled you and you both fell from the window... Thanks Coffee.

[mah-t-wordblog]

Prank

Tickletober! Day 3

Ler: Nobara Kugisaki and Yuji Itadori

Lee: Megumi Fushiguro

🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡

Ships: NONE

Warnings: This is a tickle fic, if you don’t like it, just scroll down

This fanfic is originally in Portuguese, my English is translated using an automatic translator, if there are any big errors you can tell me so I can fix them

🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡

Yuji put on a clown mask

“Great” Nobara said, grabbing a bottle of fake blood and pouring it over her shoulder

“Do you think he’ll fall?” The boy asked

“Of course he will, dude. Then after I show up, you know, right?”

Yuji nodded

“Perfect”

“Let’s hide over there” the boy pointed to a small hallway

“Just wait…”

Megumi Fushiguro was walking in a hallway parallel to the one they were hiding in, heading towards his room

He was fiddling with his cell phone, so he wasn’t even paying much attention to his surroundings

When Megumi passed by the hallway, Nobara jumped in front of him

“Fushiguro! Help!” He exclaimed

Yuji, wearing a clown mask, jumped and pretended to bite her on the shoulder

“Noooo...” The girl whimpered, letting the fake blood run down her arm and then she fell to the ground.

Megumi looked away from his cell phone and looked up. He didn't even look away or raise an eyebrow. He just walked between the two of them and kept walking.

"Hey!" Yuji took off his mask. “What the hell happened?"

"Oh shit! My acting was so good!" Nobara said, standing up. "I'm going to beat the crap out of this guy."

Yuji held her back, but went over to Megumi.

"But Fushiguro.……… you weren't even scared?"

The guy rolled his eyes “you two are idiots”

“It was just a prank, no need to get mad” Nobara laughed “I'm sure it was because you were scared”

“No, I wasn't, I'm not that stupid to be scared of something like that, in fact the one who usually gets scared of that is Itadori”

Yuji crossed his arms, Nobara couldn't help but laugh

Megumi started walking again

“But Nobara, our goal wasn't to make him-“ Yuji was talking but Nobara covered his mouth

“Don't talk, he'll hear, you idiot”

“What do you want?”

The two friends looked at each other and smiled, they had the same idea

“Ah, we saw that you always have that frown on your face…”

“So we wanted to see if we could put a smile on your face…”

The two slowly approached

“You won't be able to, idiots”

“No?” Yuji jumped on top of Megumi, starting to squeeze his sides and tickle him

Nobara ran and did the same, four hands attacking Megumi at the same time

“I-I’m going to-“

“Kill us? No, you’re not” Nobara laughed

Yuji saw that the hands on the boy’s sides weren’t enough, so he put them under the boy’s arms

Megumi tried to punch Yuji, but couldn’t because Nobara started scratching his belly

The boy couldn’t hold it anymore, he started to smile, and then he started to laugh, really laugh

“Do you know how to laugh?” Nobara teased

“Fuhuhuck yohohou”

“He’s still not laughing much, Kugisaki”

“You’re right, Itadori, try… his ribs” she smiled

That’s it, Megumi started laughing louder and kicking more, punching the air and now trying more than anything to run away

“Oh~ how cute” the girl teased

The two friends looked at each other and realized they should stop, because Megumi was almost crying

The boy’s expression changed very quickly from a smile to its current form, he turned his face away to hide that he was a little blushing, but he didn’t walk away

“That’s hilarious” the girl laughed

“Stop teasing him” Yuji laughed, he reached out to lift the other boy up “why do you have that frown, if your smile is so beautiful”

Megumi looked at him and rolled his eyes

“Argh, next time I’ll kill you” he walked away

Nobara whispered to Yuji “If he had really gotten angry we would be dead”

“I know”

The two laughed softly

And with a smile on his face, Megumi pretended not to hear

🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡💜🖤🧡

Happy tickletober loves!! 💛💛

[gorjee-art]

Your concept of The Lamb is great. I really like its design and story.

However, I wonder if The Lamb is aware of his past lives? Does he remember those he left and have any feelings towards them? Does he happen to miss anyone?

I like to imagine that Lamb once they do ascend, is pretty much just- nature! Kind of like a state of nirvana, the closest I imagine to how the Elder God's internal thought process goes is Jake in Nirvana! Or even Master Oogway in the Spirit Realm (as they are both huge inspirations for how I go about Lamb's interpretation)

That pure state of no longer needing any mortal vices, free from emotion except bliss, just...light! Their life is over, they died, they've become something much more and their soul is at peace. Vengeance has been served and forgiveness was given, they have nothing that binds them to keep living anymore, no more unfinished business. Many followers seem to forget that their leader...is dead! Undead, more accurately through the power of the One Who Waits, but regardless they're hollow, cold, and don't need to eat nor sleep. Once the crown overtakes them, that's it! Finito! Granted:

@vxredemption's fanfic has got me thinking of possible ways to "awaken" Lamb during that Elder God state, as even Jake was tempted with...hilariously. Gum. A mortal vice. Mayhaps with strong emotion, or plea, or overall something just as silly as gum of all things, can temporarily return lamb's silly billy ways as a spirit comes to visit relatives.

In short, they don't remember...but they can, the question is...how!

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool and Wolverine KCAU Christmas Special

Part 2

Authors note: This part of the story has been broken up into chapters to make it an easier read and more manageable for me... fair warning, this is 2065. It's an adult Dr. James Wilson story which as you may or may not know, unless you've read my other stuff, is a Marvel and House MD crosover-vers... So come play with me in my sandbox.

New Jersey Earth-10005

Christmas time 2065

Chapter 1

It was the week before Christmas, Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital dosn't stop working for holidays. James was already having a shit day as he walked in to his office... his friend Gregory house was behind his desk, likely waiting for him or hiding from someone. You never really knew... he was on the phone with someone.

I know right, its crazy how... oh, he just walked in.

Who are you on the phone with?

Your sister Ellie, fun gal. We were just discussing your high-school years. She called for you, but I was already here so I took the call for you...

God damn it! Give me the phone...

Hello.

Hello James, your friend Greg is hilarious, I hope no one ever pays me to kill him...

Why do you always say creepy shit like that, Ellie. Can't anyone in this damn family have a normal phone conversation?

Oh, we sound a little testy today. I'll cut to the chaise... Dad wants all of us home for Christmas this year. Including you and Laura. He wants to do a whole thing... your presence... is not optional thos year. I'll see you on Monday.

Ellie thats fucking ridiculous.

I am busy. People don't stop getting sick just because it's December. I'm a doctor. i can't just take a week off without notice... I know that's a hard concept since you decided to make it your vocation to put people in hospitals or worse.

Or worse cost extra, but that's besides the point...We all make choices, little brother.

The question is, are you prepared to deal with the consequences...

You can get in the jet dad will 100% send on Monday, fly home for the week willingly

Or....

Deal with Laura when she comes to collect you along with her entourage of Xmen... I'm sure the hospital staff will love that.

I don't think they're in the business of kidnapping doctors. Laura wouldn't do that even for dad.

Well, I would... and I'll bring all my favorite armed thugs to help... Or I suppose we could do christmas in New Jersey. As long as we're all together. Right?

Eleanor... you're a bitch.

Love you too, James... oh... and don't be surprised if dad hasn't already called that Cuddy Lady...

My Boss!

You know dad, I told him you'd tell me you're busy... so he was likely proactive. She is either terrified or the proud recipient of some large donation oooor "porque no los dos" as Laura would say.

James hung up the phone. He knew Ellie was serious, when Wade Wilson set his mind to it, he was focused and rarely didn't achieve his goals... a admirable trait. Until a gang of paramilitary goons show up to kidnap you so you don't miss traditional christmas eve lasagna.

-Cut to Wilson in Cuddys office-

He'd explained to her the situation... and she was well aware of the consequences. Wilson's relationship with his father was almost as crazy as his relationship with House...

She recalled a time before she was Dean of medicine. When Wade found out Wilson had received a mediocre review... he'd used his considerable influence and threats of violence to have the accreditation board threaten to pull certification from the hospital until it was remedied...

that's actually how she got the position. The previous dean was regularly harassed any time he felt Wilson was slighted, and finally, he couldn't take it anymore and retired early... to Wilsons credit, he had no idea this was going on until Cuddy took the job. the previous dean was probably threatened into silence on the subject, too...

Cuddy was never one to be bullied and had come clean with James about all of his father's antics shortly after taking the position. Wade Wilson was dangerous, but she'd be damned if she'd let a mercenary tell her how to run a hospital

Wilson quickly put a stop to this behavior and added that Cuddy was a friend knowing that bare minimum his dad would be less threatening to one of "Kittens" friends.

She agreed to give him the week off despite late notice and the myriad of other HR and staffing problems associated with being short a doctor on one condition... he had to take Greg with him... she didn't have the time or patience to Deal with the illustrious Dr House without Wilson to help her.

By the time he'd gotten back to his office house hadn't really moved much... sitting behind Wilson's desk playing on his phone...

Don't you have a patient or something to attend to?

Actually, no... none worth my time anyway... Forman and the cute australian one can handle what is obviously subclinical measles with a secondary flu infection... vaccinate your kids... idiots.

Well, since you're not busy, I guess you'd be ok leaving early with me and packing for a trip... I'd like you to come to Kansas city with me for Christmas...

Kinda short notice to book a flight. he said suspiciously

it'll be a direct flight, Private... no TSA and probably a bottle of Dom Pérignon. he said this in a tone of playful temptation.

I thought you were Jewish?

On paper I am... I converted for Bonnie when we got married, House... you were there at the wedding... I told you this.

like I keep track of your current brand of imaginary friend that closely... I do remember that marriage ending because despite converting to Judaism, you couldn't get a grasp on the Seventh Commandment in particular

Ok, ouch.

That leads me to my next question. What makes you think I want to go with you to your weird families christmas?

Because if you don't... unless you get an interesting case soon, Cuddy said you'd be scheduled 12 hour shifts in the clinic every day next week.

Damn it...

I suppose I will go with you to the middle of bum fuck and flyover and enjoy a country christmas on the ranch with you... not like I have a choice, besides I've never really had the chance to get to know your parents. I drank so much at the last wedding. The only thing I remember of them is one of them wore a red mask... and the other looked like an angry Calvin Kline model.

Kansas City is an actual metropolitan. My parents live in a high rise, not on a ranch... and dad... can be kind of shy in large groups of people he doesn't know.

Well, since im not allowed to be unsupervised, there are worse places to be in December... like the clinic, holiday ailments are the worst. At least one person has an ornament shoved up their ass... But it beats the hell out of spending the holidays with my parents. You're lucky, really. My dad was a Marine constantly moving... or abandoning me with my grandmother.

Oh, are we playing this game? I was raised by a mentally unstable warlord with a gun fetish and his Victorian era husband the worlds grummpiest teddy bear who has knives in his hands and PTSD from the American Civil War.... and a grandmother who did more drugs than every member of the Rolling stones combined, and she liked to tell me wildly inappropriate stories... usually about my dad's banging, or how she was a sultry honey pot when she worked for MI6.

well, my grandmother beat me..

Jesus fine, you win.

on that note, Johns Hopkins didn't exactly have a good mutant biology program... if they're both genetically you parents shouldn't you *waves his hands in the air making mock magical gestures* have some power

I'm pretty sure my mutant ability is loving and tolerating reprobates and assholes.

It takes one to know one, James...

Our story ends here for now... the boys go home and pack for a week in Kansas City.

Wade had indeed arranged for a car to pick them up and take them to a private air strip where a Gulfstream G700 was waiting for them

Fancy!

Trust me, it gets old quick.

Link to Chapter 3

Silly photo shop for fun.

[genericpuff]

Idk if my addition will matter.

I've been following Hanza since back when they were making my deepest secret, so I've seen the development of the guy upstairs first hand and how hanza writes it. Even back in the concept stages, it was so blatantly clear that it was supposed to be a thriller/cat mouse vibe where Adam (killer) was horrible and not to be rooted for. They've compared him to irl serial killers and how those guys will often use women as shields to hide their true selves from the public and how that's messed up and bad to do.

They've shown Adam as a horrible irredeemable person and honestly there's little to no nuance with how they handle it, but that makes sense because how else can you handle an audience like what they've gotten without beating them over the head with the facts. How many ways can you outright show your main character despising and wanting to yank their best friend out of the jaws of a murderer before the audience realizes its not foreplay.

I think them going from an actual romance to a fully thriller non romantic story meant that the residual audience expected some kind of messy toxic romance, but Rozy to me has always explicitly read as Queer so idk why people aren't getting the hint.

I get their frustration and it seems like they might be shifting into a potiential issekai romance about a grandad and a middle aged woman who got reincarnated as his grandson's fiance (hard to explain but its hilarious if you want to check it out) without any thriller elements from their recent non comic posts. Whatever they do I hope they can find something to be passionate about again.

your addition VERY MUCH MATTERS actually because I don't read TGU and have very little context to the situation as a whole aside from what I've seen people talking about, which makes me reluctant to speak on it because I don't wanna go spreading misinformation in any regard. So I appreciate you taking the time to lay it all out for me, thank you!!! <3

And yeah, I've seen posts shared in the /r/webtoons sub from other blogs claiming that Hanza was being an awful person for "taking people's money" and "baiting them" into reading a dark romance story when that's very obviously not what it is? Even one excerpt that was literally like-

And I just... since when is any romance plotline that ISN'T abusive and problematic at its core (such as between a serial killer and a victim) considered "super conservative" and "pure"? It's really baffling to me how people have gone so far in the opposite direction of "purity culture" that they've started arguing on behalf of legitimately harmful and toxic relationships. It's extremely concerning especially when you know the majority of people saying this shit are between the ages of 16-21. IDK what the fuck we're doing anymore when it comes to the romance genre (and TGU isn't even a romance ffs).

Aaaand yeah in relation to where the Hanza topic came up, that's really why I'm moving away from WT as an audience and why I don't consider it a "loss" to not use WT anymore. Once upon a time I wished for Time Gate to be a contracted series, for it to have thousands of readers and be my job. But seeing what's going on with Hanza's work just informs me that I'd be dealing with a lot of the same shit - people expecting Uzuki and Mitsuhiro to be the endgame of the romance when they're literally NOT good for each other, which is the POINT. Like sure, unlike the main duo in TGU, they actually are a couple with a 'relationship' but it's not meant to be healthy and the last thing I need are 15 year olds thinking they're "couple goals". If you ship them in fanfic or w/e the fuck that's fine but please don't get mad at me when they don't wind up being the endgame couple, they're both terrible people and make each other worse when they're around each other (・_・;)

Either way yeah, I don't blame Hanza in the slightest for getting so frustrated with it all that they'd rather just be done with it. It sucks for the more loyal and sane part of their audience that the series is gonna be ripped out from under them like that, but at the end of the day if the creator is being harassed and decide they're done as a result of it... why should they have to keep putting up with bullshit just for a comic? I don't even blame Rachel if she was ending LO by choice due to the noise of the fandom, and unlike Rachel, I don't have anything in the slightest against Hanza or their work LOL But I also don't have the full picture on it all so maybe my opinion will change if I find out more about it. I just don't think any of this shit is worth directly harassing a human being over.

That said, can't get any better than someone who's read their work since before TGU, so again, thank you !

[hehevoldy]

I saw it now! didn't realize you posted about them until after I sent the ask. We were fed so much I just hope we don't have anymore love triangles MoonCovey is here to stay I love them so much. It's funny see Kitty deny her feelings but ever since the first episode back the way she looks at him especially during the hug in episode 1 I think she was being oblivious and denying her feelings. Nobody has as much chemistry in this show than them it's my favorite relationship I loved how Min Ho was so selfless with Kitty never judged her or anything like omg they scream endgame Jenny Han better not mess them up. Also, can we talk about how hot he looked during prom? (Well he looked hot throughout the season and even season 1 but still) I hope to see more posts and fanvideos of them I watched some and it made me ship them even more.

sameee. i'm so done with love triangles and squares and whatnot. i just want them to be together or work their way there, you know?

omg yes, i was dying on that first episode when min ho tells her she did smile and she was like "nah that was a grimace." my girl knows how to lie even to herself lol

no because during every single hug scene, minho wouldn't let go of her and she couldn't separate fast enough either. they are both just longing for each other and its hilarious how they both don't see it. i actually thought that it was brilliant how peter made a cameo basically to say what we were thinking.

min ho was the best person this season. he was there for her through each step even when he was mad at her. that boy really said "nobody messes with my girl except for me."

yeeeessss! he was serving LOOKS this season. the way my jaw dropped when he appeared during prom is not even funny. he looked amazing and im a sucker for his facial expressions, so i was dead most of his scenes 😭

[mrs-monaghan]

So this is inspired by a reply to one of your asks but what do you think each pairs of BTS will be doing if you lock them up in a room for an hour and left unsupervised.

Hello anon. There is way too many pairs in BTS for me to cover them all. So allow me to only do Jikook duos.

I will start with the duos I as Shaz deem to be the weakest, to strongest.

Okay JK's weakest duo which is also his weakest ship; If you've been around for a while you already know who I'm about to say 😂😂😂

Yoonkook.

(The tiktok on the post Here is how I feel about JK's ships. But I swap tkk for ynkk) So Yoonkook alone. Here i talk more about them after the Suchwita episode. But I will now also bring back the IG photos from the concert

Spot the difference? 🤭🤭🤭🤭 and i will be a nice blogger and not bring up the fact that on day 3 while we were busy watching Suga's concert JK was on tiktok liking videos.

Sorry anon..I crack myself up when I talk about Yoonkook but umm... yeah so. We already know what happens when u put them in a room together. They run out of things to talk about. We saw on Suchwita and we saw on Bon voyage by JK's own admission. When I see Yoonkook fanfic on twitter I get very confused 🤭🤭😂😂 because they don't click. Not really. If asked they will choose other members first. Definitely not eo. Yoonkook content with just them 2, I doubt they'd be very entertaining. Not without buffers may it be human or machine 😂

.

Finding Jimin's weakest duo is actually really hard because like RM said; Jimin is the king of chemistry and put him in a room with anyone and it will be funny and quality entertainment. But I will try.

Vmin.

I'm sorry but these 2 alone, together? Nah... Jimin may be the king of chemistry but even he can't fix the Vmin chemistry anymore. There was a time everything used to flow great between them but in recent years Vmin just ain't it. If u think I'm making this up go back to this live before JK comes in

They kept running out of things to talk about too. Jimin even pretended to leave at one point. They were super awkward to say the least and I feel like they were both grateful for JK's presence. @magicshop-pjm1 likes to go "Vmin is dead" every 2 to 4 business days which is absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂 but I think anyone not in denial can admit while yeah, I'm sure they still care about eo, something somewhere went wonky and they're not the same anymore.

This tweet is a joke and its hilarious 🤣😂😂 but unfortunately i find it accurate. Them 2 alone aint it

Taekook.

This was kinda obvious. Some people would rate this duo lower than Yoonkook but I think that's not fair. If you compare them with an unbiased eye Tkk are stronger than ynkk. First they are closer in age which helps. Meaning they're gonna be closer, too. But put them in a room together and it's not even awkward its nothingness. I'm talking silence. By JK's own admission here it just wasn't working. And we all remember the joint IG live where they ran out of things to talk about and JK would play with Bam instead. Another duo where JK needs a buffer for sure. I mean, sure tkk have been out and about but notice how its always with the Wooga squad? Never just them two?

On the plus side, they look really good. So, I'll give them that. 💚

Minimoni

Again this is so hard because Jimin has very strong duos. But yeah, I will put RM second last because RM as a person (bless him and his dimples) he's not the most entertaining and has to bounce off of someone. Them together, alone won't be boring but I'm not sure it would be that memorable or mind blowing. These are just my personal opinions guys so feel free to disagree or chime in. But yeah. I feel Minimoni is 2nd last for me.

I do find it interesting how comfortable RM is with skinship when it comes to Jimin considering he's not big on that in general (unless its Jin) He's even the one who initiates so he is quite comfortable around Jimin.

Anyway, they're a nice duo with a dynamic that gives you UWUs but they're not the most interesting in my eyes. Sorry Minimonis 🤷🏽‍♀️

Namkook

What's the most recent thing that we know about them? We know they hanged out after JK left Jennie's CK event. And we know before that JK said him and RM hadn't drunk together in years. Years. Not months. Now this dont mean they don't see eo. It just means they don't drink together often. I do find this to be significant however because both men love their liquor. But, they drink with other members just not eo so.... 😬😬 again, not making this up, its as per their own admissions

So Namkook in a room together 🤔 what do we got here guys? Have we ever had this? We had a Namkook live but the only memorable thing for me was them outing the fact that Jikook live together. I am blanking on Namkook which makes me feel confident about the position I've put RM.

Give it up for Jimin's type thou everybody 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾����🏾👏🏾

Jinmin

I would actually have Jinmin and Jihope as a tie but since I'm choosing I will rate Jinmin lower. But man. These 2 together are the absolute best. They are such a comedic entertaining duo. Them together alone in a room is worth every penny if we were asked to pay for any such footage 😂😂 they are funny and they bounce off of eo so well. Never a dull or awkward moment between Jin and Jimin. Never.

These two are the ones you throw to a team that's drowning. They are the ones u assign to a team for better views. I love them together fr fr. Best duo. Such a good duo. Honestly. Throw JK in there and you are set for life with the best trio ever. Go search for any of their compilations and I dare you to be bored.

And we haven't even began to talk about their visuals

First photo of them that pops up on Google and... as it should. Most beautiful man alive Vs world wide handsome =perfection 💯💯💯

(Off topic BTS main visual was always Jin and then V was added to the visual line then eventually JK. Now dont get me wrong all of them are drop dead gorgeous but is there a reason Jimin isn't part of the visual line?? Anyway...)

Hopekook

Hopekook in a room together alone, I'd say that's solid entertainment right there. They're good together, they're funny. It's Jhope we're talking about. He rivals Jimin on having chemistry with the members so him and JK alone i think that's a solid video right there. No awkwardness or nothing and Bonus skinship for the Hopekookers. Good times, really.

JK is extremely comfortable with Jhope so yeah... they're a good duo. No one is getting bored.

Yoonmin

Okay y'all. We know most Yoonmin supporters are rubbish vermin but don't let that make you forget that Yoonmin are extremely entertaining together. Put these 2 in a room alone together and come on... GOLD!! The Yoonmin Suchwita episode is hands down the funniest for me. I laughed from beginning to the end. Swear to God ✋🏽 that episode and the one with the drunk TXT members are great rewatches for me ngl. Also Jimin is Suga's favourite member so Suga is super comfortable with Jimin in everything. But my favorite part of them is the bickering of course.

They can't ever seem to stop fighting which is just so freaking entertaining. Remember ITS 1 when Jhope told Jimin he was being cocky so Jimin said he was going to look for Suga so that the guy could kill his cockiness? He said going to Suga would bring him back down to earth 😂🤣 Because this is who they are, its what they do. They insult eo and call eo out. So people who get mad at Suga need to watch a good old Yoonmin bickering compilation. They've called each other ugly, fat, stupid, skinny, and a bunch of other stuff some people seem to have forgotten.

Anywaaaaaay. Yoonmin alone together is quality content and that's why Suga is high on this list.

Jinkook

Surely I don't need to explain why this duo is number 2 in terms of JK's most entertaining duos. Right? Like its self explanatory? I've stated many times; imo Jin is JK's favourite/closest after Jimin. Some of u disagree and say Jhope nah, its Jin. Imho.

Tom and Jerry, perfect title for them 2. Love it. Put them in a room together and you're set.

chaotic thread here for those who need a refresher

Jihope aka Hopemin

We don't need to imagine. This duo have been alone together or engaged just them enough to know they are entertaining as shit. Its usually mostly Jhope laughing at Jimin's antics but this usually prompts Jimin into getting funnier with every laugh he gets from Jhope.

Tweet

Much like Jinmin they are the duo you shove into a dying group to give it spice. They are absolutely epic and I feel confident putting Hobi on the number 2 spot of Jimin's most entertaining duos.

They do have awkward moments when they're checking eo out to try and out compliment eo but that's just entertaining as well 😂😂

Last but not least Jikook/Kookmin/Minkook/Mingukk

Now hear me out. This isn't just my bias that made me put this duo at the top. Alright? There is this ongoing unfairness taking place in the fandom where people undermine Jimin and JK's funny n chaotic sides.

Tweet

Together they are hilarious and entertaining and this duo doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as they are.

The reason they are number one is because Jikook alone together is a complete programme. Humor, Check. Chaos, Check. Romance, Check. Sexual tension, Check.

Hate or love this duo, they're a perfect recipe for entertainment.

Would love to hear your thoughts but this is how I'd rate them. Thanks for the ask anon, twas fun 💜