#don't question what I spend my time on
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Know your Purple Guys of Fire Emblem, we got sad shamans, bisexual disasters, professional murderers, nerds with death wishes, and daddy issues.
#purple guys of fire emblem discourse#Lorenz Hellman Gloucester#he's the only one I'm tagging#fire emblem#most of them have multiple categories#Etzel has red hair but he's purple#don't question what I spend my time on
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Giving a complicated tragic childhood backstory to your favorite character is all fun and games, until you realize you need to account for how old all the other adult characters would have been at the time and realize that scenes that would work perfectly if one character was twenty three and the other was fourteen stop working when you need other characters who are played by adult actors clearly younger than they are to be in college at the same time so your story beats line up thematically.
#Don't worry. I made an excel document for this over a year ago#Was that unhinged? Yeah. But this is harder than you think it is#In unrelated news it is now reasonable to have a child in your 20s 30s or 40s depending on when the plot needs the child#Also people in their early 20s can be in grad school have already established careers and adopt children now. I've declared it.#Also: Hollywood stop trying to trick me into believing women in their 30s are the same age as men in their 50s. It's never gonna work.#I'm fighting for my life to make these age gaps normal even on a platonic level#Don't worry I aged the girls up and the boys down#But still this is a bit ridiculous#If you use the actors' ages it doesn't work. Garrison's actress is 16 years younger than Curtain. Why?#I mean I like the casting. But SQ is a teenager. We know Curtain has had his evil plans at least since SQ was born and lost his bio dad#and if the Whisperer is Garrison's invention that means she and Curtain were working together when SQ was born#If SQ in the show is 16 (the actor was older I believe) and Garrison is 37 (that's how old the actress is now she was younger at time)#That means Garrison was only 21 and Curtain was well into his 30s. And that's after you age SQ down and Garrison up for the calculations#So Garrison was likely (according to the shows' casting) even younger than that which begs the question what was Curtain doing?#Was he spending his 30s lurking around college campuses and high schools looking for a kid whose inventions he could steal?#What in the Marcus Cutter is that about?#All these jokes about Garrison being SQ's uninvolved divorced stepmom but nah she's really his estranged big sister#also this is very frustrating because the irl age gap between the actress who plays Number Two and Tony Hale only 7 years#but they're the ones for whom a 16 year age gap would have actually made sense because he adopts her in the books!#but now since Garrison is clearly so much younger than Number Two Curtain and Benedict I have to deal with this#(Don't worry I figured it out and made the age gaps normal. You just now have to believe Number Two is only a year older than Garrison)#It was the stress of living with her family that aged her and Garrison just looks naturally super young that's what we're going with.#And don't get me wrong:#I do like the actresses and actors they casted they're great but sometimes I google the ages and I'm like oh you cannot be serious#But we've (more or less) figured it out#Rant over#writing#writing struggles#tmbs
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I don't know how you've all experienced the year 2024, but I barely witnessed it, and I've been fighting for my life
#I've been in a constant state of flight and stress#there's been disaster after disaster#I didn't do a lot of fun things#and the things I did#I didn't enjoy very much or I don't remember them#I remember them as a fact (a mark on my calendar) but barely a memory let alone a feeling#I lost motivation for work and I fucked up a lot#my highs and lows have changed six times a day#like biblical proportions mood swings#lots of anger and sadness but they've barely registered either#way too much awareness in the present which was overwhelming but I haven't remembered them afterwards#or it just felt insignificant and boring#lots of doubts about myself lots of questions#it's been one crazy fucking year#usually I have some big grand plan or idea of how I want to do better next year#but now I'm just like ehh#which just raises more questions about wtf is wrong with me :)#haven't had a single day where I didn't wake up with a tension headache or pain in my neck or shoulders#or a single day amongst people where I didn't get agitated angry hurt feeling rejected#which hasn't happened all that much the past ten years so that's crazy#lots of old feelings. that I can handle now. no breakdowns or extreme sadness#it's just weird i dont understand myself at the moment#too lazy to grab my journal#(have been too lazy/bored/tired all year to spend any time on hobbies)#so the big rant goes here#I hope in 2025.... I get to calm the fuck down#i dont have a big plan or idea. I just want peace... and enjoyment...#looking back at my resolutions for 2024 is sad#im like that was me only a year ago what Happened?#personal
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if any of you are still feeling weird about that infamous interview, here is what alex said about it (and why that ashley girl doesn't like him). i really want to point out that what alex says here is the exact same thing us, miles fans have been saying since forever. so, if you are a fan of alex, but throw shit at miles, just remember that your favourite also supports him. and maybe think twice before starting arguments with miles fans and keep in mind that alex has the same opinion about it all.
Alongside Arctic Monkeys, Turner has a long-term side-project called The Last Shadow Puppets with his best friend, the Birkenhead singer-songwriter Miles Kane. During the promotion for their last album, the two did an interview with a female journalist from the music webzine Spin. Turner was being his usual unforthcoming self, so Kane attempted to break the ice with some groan-inducing banter. This included inviting the journalist up to his hotel room when she asked what he was doing after the interview, which, in hindsight, was pretty stupid (he realised as much the next day and emailed her to say sorry). The result, though, was a lengthy op-ed calling out Kane’s unprofessionalism and the misogyny of the music industry at large. Personally, I found some of her complaints against him a tad flimsy — holding eye contact for too long, high-fiving her, “yanking” her in “for a not entirely consensual kiss on the cheek” as she said goodbye, and not least the idea that interviewing a rock star is ever supposed to be an exercise in professionalism. What did Turner make of it all? He sighs. “I think he made a joke he shouldn’t have made and realised he had misjudged the situation.” I thought it was a bit OTT, I tell him. “Yeah, I’m not sure it was deserving of that response honestly, but you just can’t make a joke like that.”
(from 2018, this interview)
#also he didn't exactly invite her; just joked about inviting her (which was still wrong)#also pointing it out that i also think that his 'jokes' were wrong. i also would've thought he's a dick. but alex said it brilliantly.#there was a misunderstanding between the two of them; he made the joke; realised he shouldn't have and that he misjudged the situation;#apologised; never did anything similar to this again#let. it. go. he's proved countless times ever since then that he is a decent human being. open your eyes; look it up; do your research#or if you don't want to then don't interact with him/his fans at all#btw this interview is absolutely horrendous#only read it if you want to lose your mind a bit#imagine getting alex turner to let you into his home and then only ask him questions about his gf; bf; taxes; what he spends his money on;#etc. my god.#also he talks about not being in taylor's ig posts: and says he#“doesn't recall submitting that request; but he's not sorry about it if he's not on there.”#makes you think#(and then the fact that this is from may and he talks about being 'settled down'; then they 'break up' in june. smh)#alex turner#miles kane#ashley reese#tlsp
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how do you draw so much holy crap
I have no personal life and zero control over myself
#but really. the truth is that i draw all the time i have. it's the only thing i do#i wake up thinking about what should I draw today#I don't even watch movies or tv shows much because i can spend this time drawing something. yk what i mean?#and i can stay focused for hours without moving#and my artstyle isn't that complicated. it takes me an hour or two to finish one full art#and i tend to draw everything. and also have a lot of saved references i actually use#i hope it answers the question#ask
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(Disclaimer: I'm quite drunk and looking (dis)respectfully at gifs of Niko)
I really hope this doesn't sound creepy, but I just love how Ilkka's body looks. He's obviously fit and in good shape, but he looks so *normal*. A lot of totally normal squishiness. A bit of a tummy and drool inducing biceps and pecs I want to rest my head on. He looks so hugable. Just a handsome, normal dude.
(it's okay i'm on my way to drunkville myself lol made a possible poor choice in buying basil hayden again that shit always gets me wasted no matter what I do)
no no no but i legit know exactly what you mean!!! and 100% agree!!! finland's fourth hottest dad (though i'd argue he's in first lol) showing us all that it's okay just to be a normal dude regardless of what society might classify as attractive (though i do think he is objectively attractive but...i might be biased lmao)
#the basil buy was a gift to myself and i bought two bottles#one of which was kinda enabled by my dad#who does not question how many bottles of alcohol i buy every time we go to binny's because and i quote#'what else are you gonna spend your money on i guess'#(context i live at home with my parents don't pay rent and paid off my loans already)#(maybe next year will be the year i move out)#(i said that last year)#BUT ANYWAY BACK TO ILKKA WHO I'M TRYING TO GIF RIGHT NOW#this man is just!!!!!!!
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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*stumbles out of a reddit thread covered in blood, triumphantly holding up new learned vocabulary words and terminology*
#byrd chirps#byrd's bugs#reddit#fr tho that's what it feels like every time i have to ask reddit a question#extremely unforgiving webbed site#it takes a thick skin to tolerate existing there#which is why I don't spend much time on there#but today i had a Question that needed Answers#but I didn't even know what questions to ask or how to phrase them#and so when people took me at face value it painted my question in a very unflattering light#but i did it!#i got the advice!#image described#described#image id#id in alt text#image description#described image
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Metatron Meta
Okay, so first of all let’s get a few things straight: I do not like the Metatron. I hate his big dumb floaty face, and these thoughts of mine in no way, shape, or form are meant to imply otherwise. He is perfectly responsible for his own actions and behaviours and is deserving of all resulting consequences. This is not a defense, excuse, or justification for any of his bullshit.
Got it? Are we clear? Yes? Yes.
So from here on out, will you promise to take a few minutes to hear me out, and then a few more to sit and actually think about what I’m saying? Okay, good, I trust you.
Here’s what happened: One night I was indulging in a stress-relief, fan-fiction-type, self-insert fantasy where I get to tell the Metatron exactly what I think of him straight to his dumb face, and as I’m imagining this conversation, a lightbulb goes off. He feels threatened by Aziraphale and Crowley.
Feeling threatened is a defensive reaction; he’s afraid. And so the question became the following: What could the Metatron, the most powerful angel in Heaven, be afraid of?
Come, walk with me.
The only being I can possibly imagine that the Metatron would actually be afraid of is God, but more specifically, afraid of upsetting or disappointing Her.
People have generally come to the consensus that God hasn’t been around for a while. Anytime anyone wants to talk to God, they talk to the Metatron. Anytime they’re given instructions, it comes from the Metatron. The lack of God’s narration in Season 2 seems to support this conclusion.
As far as I’ve seen, people have been happy enough to leave it here: God’s not actually calling the shots anymore, oh that evil Metatron grabbing at power, Metatron is playing God and doing terrible things.
I haven’t seen anyone – not one person (and if there is someone else who’s asked, please forgive me – it’s entirely because I haven’t come across your work) – say “If God hasn’t been around for a while, what does that mean for Metatron?”
Think about it – his whole existence, his whole purpose, is to talk to God and relay Her instructions to the rest of the angels. If his purpose and reason for existence has disappeared...I mean how would you feel?
Let’s not forget that Metatron is an angel. He was created to be a being of literal love and joy and light. He loves God and loves his job as Her voice – and she disappeared a while ago and hasn’t come back.
Let me say that one more time to make sure it gets through – THE CENTRE OF HIS EXISTENCE LEFT AND HASN’T COME BACK.
Are you with me? Good, because we’re going deeper.
Okay so let’s suppose that the last time Metatron heard anything from God direct was, say, Job. Sometime after Job, God disappears. Metatron, worried (and smarter than the other angels) goes back through the files, and notices a few things: the children are the same, the plan was disrupted. Also Crowley and Aziraphale are there.
(Right now, our beloved husbands are just a footnote, but keep this in the back of your mind for later.)
For now, Metatron realizes that God’s plan for the bet wasn’t carried out properly. Right now, Metatron – a being of purity and love and light, whose Most Precious Thing is his connection to God – thinks he has messed up.
Maybe he expects to Fall. Maybe he lives in terrible, shaking fear that God will be angry with him for a bit. Maybe what he doesn’t expect is the Silent Treatment. And maybe what he doesn’t expect, then, is for it to last. He doesn’t expect the radio silence. He’s been ghosted by the being he loves most.
Alright, he figures, he hasn’t Fallen so the Almighty can’t be THAT angry with him. All he needs to do is go back do doing things RIGHT. He just needs to do the best job he can and God will forgive him and come back and talk to him again. He just needs to do a Good Job. He just needs to Do Everything Right. He needs to follow The Plan, as he knows it, and if he does it well enough, She will come back to him. His existence, his purpose, depends on it. And so, nothing can get in the way.
He can NOT let ANYTHING get in the way of The Plan.
So he keeps up appearances. He can’t let anyone know that God isn’t around. Who knows what kind of chaos that might occur? (And chaos is certainly not what God wants.)
He sees Crowley and Aziraphale avert the First Apocalypse (and this is where something perks up in his memory), but no matter because The Plan includes a clause for The Second Coming. Then their miracle together gets his attention.
Oh no, he thinks, this is what messed up my life the first time. Not again, I’m so close. I’m so close to getting Her to love me again.
And so he separates them.
You see, the thing about abuse is that it’s a cycle. The abuse that Metatron is imposing on Aziraphale and Crowley comes from somewhere I think. Everything in Heaven was created to be for the sake of Love. Maybe She left hoping that it would encourage the angels to love the universe as She does – take away the distraction, so to speak. Maybe God realized that Love isn’t enough and Nope’d out, but whatever happened, when She left it royally fucked up everything.
Metatron has been desperately trying to Do A Good Job so that God will give him a CRUMB of affection, and that attitude has trickled down until all of Heaven runs on it.
If you haven’t ever lived like that, you might not realize the way it warps you. The way that getting that affection becomes all-encompassing; the way you keep collecting crumbs, thinking you can make a whole cake.
I don’t have sympathy for the Metatron. Regardless of what has happened in our lives, we are in full control of what we do and how we do it. He has let his love for God warp him into something that he wasn’t supposed to be. He’s become driven by obsession, while convincing himself it’s love. The way I see it, he’s come to a point of selfishness. His desire has warped him into the antithesis of what God made him to be, and I hope that comes back around to bite him.
#good omens#good omens 2#metatron#the metatron#meta analysis#still a dick tho#systemic trauma#he's a dick but let's forget that for a minute#don't banish me#I just asked questions#I might spend too much time thinking about this show#it's been 6 months and I'm still here#writing meta and avoiding my responsibilities#what has become of me
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the reason why i was offline for a day was bc i was in cas editing mattodore and messing with my cas bg, yeah, but also... i found another oc ask game that i liked the questions for so i started drafting theo and matthias's answers for them....... there's 100 questions this time so i've just been like this in google docs
#river dipping#when theo's doc inevitably ends up passing 5k.......... let's not mention it let's simply not mention it#i'm also in spotify playing the respective mattodore playlists while hopping between their answers#i think i've just been listening to their playlists and renaissance and amir and <copingmechanism> for the last month straight#my top tracks and artists of the month rn are definitely a testament to that.....#succession season four soundtrack “action that” is also on there tho <333333333 love you kendall roy <3333333#anyway i have no idea how long it's gonna take me to finish answering these questionnaires for the both of them#but i really enjoy doing this... i said before that i've reread their last 60 questions posts so much i've started to memorize them#and i can tell it's gonna be the same for these questionnaires when i finish them like i will be pouring over them like a man possessed#whenever i finish them (bc i AM planning to spend all of my free time on them after this) i'll share them with updated character pics#so i'll have to go in game for that. i'll need to update their character pages entirely honestly they've changed so much in the last month#like physically#well not matthias....... kjfdvnkdfgjh but theo looks SO... not different exactly but like... he's evolved.#also their last character page pics are ugly kjfkvjhnkjfgh no offense to past me for trying to be cute and edit differently but lmao.#i'll redo all of the echthroi character pics too so can't wait to have 500 new gshade screenshots of the eight ocs i have for it#jackson and everett are still missing in action but it's fine. Whatever. i don't even care 🙄#<- me trying to manipulate my brain using reverse psychology so that it finally pops out a solid image of what i want them to look like
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It's a weird feeling to be officially called my beloved ex-colleague's successor in his last emails and his absence note. Like. People are Actually gonna contact me regarding this journal now huh,
#i'm sorry my dearest colleague#i will never be able to replace you#but i will do my best to carry on your legacy#that's like. my main motivation rn.#do i wanna do this well for myself? idc. not really#but i don't wanna ruin what he's built#so i have to do well#also today was his last day and he actually took the train? so i got to spend my commute with him one last time 🥺#ngl i almost screamed when i saw him on the train this morning#i was fully expecting him to take the car#it was so nice to get to talk to him alone again for a bit#it also gave me a feeling of closure if that makes sense#anyway#emails huh? uncool#i feel ��️overwhelmed✨️#but one day at a time. let's get that funeral behind us and then start some university projects ♡#to distract myself from the horrors of work which i chose to distract myself from the horrors of university ♡#it makes absolute sense don't question my terrible life choices#void screams#work stuff
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Wish my friend could just send a message like "Hope things have been going okay" or whatever instead of "Where have you been? Where did you go? Why aren't you talking to me? WHAT HAPPENED???" etc.
#I just don't like feeling like my space is being invaded if that makes sense#my 'conversations' with her are like... mostly her asking questions#like the last message she sent was four questions and only one sentence that was like 'I noticed you haven't messaged me in a month'#you can't just say 'let me know if you want to talk' or something less forceful than what literally feels like an interrogation?#like there's a difference between regular 'hi it's been a while. everything still fine?' etc.#and... that#I feel uncomfortable opening up to her because she is always telling me to do shit that isn't helpful#like 'just quit your job and call the police and run away from home!'#yeah because that totallyyyyyyy wouldn't just add more problems to my life (sarcasm)#she's just so fucking intrusive?#and she lives in her own bubble lol#and now that she has a bf/fiancé/whatever she wants to call him she's doubly annoying now#like okay girlie go spend time with him then!#why do you need to be up my ass all the time 😭#ughhhh
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death note would be so much improved if the writer were interested in how misa's experience of seeing her parents murdered in front of her as a child traumatized her and gave her a warped sense of good and evil and made her feel detached from her own life but instead they just used it as an excuse to make her obsessed with light
#in the musical she says smth like “i don't mind if my lifespan is halved because i haven't been alive since the day my parents were killed”#n im like wow! characterization!#it would be fascinating if at some point she became disillusioned with light because either#1) the savior who punished her parents' killer became too caught up in the cat-and-mouse game with L and lost focus#(spending all this time on getting rid of people in his way rather than killing the criminals she thinks deserve to be killed)#2) she sees him killing everyone who stands in his way regardless of whether they did something wrong and at some point#he kills innocent parents of young children that make her suddenly see herself in the victims of kira rather than in kira#those are two different directions you could go in that are both more interesting than what we got#i know that people like that she kills even more indiscriminately than light/“is more evil” but that doesn't go anywhere!#she just ends up doing his dirty work and sometimes causing problems for him by being less cautious#they need to have an ideological conflict just like L and Light do for her to be a player in the game#she is potentially the most powerful character in the show with both the knowledge of the dn and the eyes#but because it's never a question that she's faithful to light there's no danger#now if it were at any moment unclear where he alliance lay...
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#dkhghgghkslghhhgh I'm Not Normal about rotg#my interest in it picks back up for a few weeks each year and I just. sigh#please dreamworks I know you had sequels planned. you don't know how big it would be amongst today's audiences. I prommy#director PETER RAMSEY and executive producer GUILLERMO DEL TORO both want to give it a second chance#as does joyce. the guy who sold the IP to dreamworks#nooo because there are so many interesting things the movie could pull on if it starts looking at the guardians with respect#to events of the past#a big critique of rotg is that it doesn't have much plot and I think that largely comes as a result of the movie being mostly setup#it needed to spend so much time establishing its world and I'm so glad that it did#but it did lead to people questioning what the heck bunny and tooth are and why pitch feels so flat etc etc#oh my GOD if they dug into how pitch was created it would add so much subtext to the antarctica scene#I wouldn't care about whether they brought in nightlight stuff or not by integrating more material from the books bc movie canon#is already so distinct but YOU'RE TELLING ME that this man... a guard in his own right... succumbed to the powers of fear#because he was mourning the loss of his child??? because he wanted to protect her??? and then he tried to connect with jack#(a child) over how much he longed to be known and have a FAMILY??? how am I supposed to be normal about this#there are so many ghosts of the books' influence in the first movie that could be explored so much#not to mention something something fear exists to keep people (kids) safe and eliminating it completely would be Bad Actually#maybe I'm realizing I just want pitch to be explored more sdkfjsldfjks#I've seen a lot of folks say they want more seasonal characters to be introduced and I guess that could work in the context of a show#but if they dove more into how the guardians came to be and what MIM's deal is and how that all affects the present#ohhhh baby that's good content right there#fern muses
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I'm going to drown this assignment in a bathtub
#having to write a huge exploration of the degree you're persuing with questions aimed at 18 year olds is mind numbing#a hard assignment is hard but at least you learn stuff now I'm just wasting time#it's all stuff like 'collect 5 job ads' and describe what sounds fun and difficult about it! would you do this job?#but a milion of these types of questions#Please I need to apply to real job ads you're sucking away my mental energy that is in very short supply#plus I already did my research before starting this course I'm spending all my savings on this shit#I mean this class is a guaranteed pass but I don't want a guaranteed pass I want to learn stuff I pay for this
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Gifset Asks #9!! 💜
9. Promote your top five favorite gifsets!
i literally have to pick this gifset first because i love it so much and it's literally pinned on my blog. everytime i open my blog i see it and smile and forget about the world. i love seeing them smile and i am so proud of myself because the coloring is so good.
wesley/lilah + side by side is always one of my favs. it's so pretty.
wesley/lilah + standing up to their abusers was really thinking about this set and how much it means to me
my lao tzu inspired wesley/lilah set (yeah, there is a theme here) it's low quality and i could honestly fix it but it is a set i love so much. i love what it represents and i think that's more important than being physically beautiful
i could have picked one of the many batcat edit's i've done but decided to go with my lover palette because i have always been so in love and so proud it it. she is an honorable mention
thank you!!!
#i literally don't know if it's because I didn't go to bed last night#but i suddenly had the urge to question if this meant my own favorite gifsets#or my top favs of other's gifsets#i miss doing asks. been a while and it's been lovely.#anyway. i really DID NOT spend an absurd amount of time trying to figure out my top five.#i think i was really overthinking what i thought would be the best#but really went for the ones that makes me the most happy#love that for me#asks#asks: captainchilly
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