#don't mind me just being consistent
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ACEYUU WOKE ME FROM THE DEAD
book 7 spoilers <3 very long rant im sorry!!
it was never meant to be this way. when he was such an ass to us in the prologue, when he laid those pesky remarks upon us and immediately assuming that we got into NRC as a janitor because we weren't good enough without any prior knowledge of how we were brought here against our will and having to adapt to such an unfamiliar environment where everything - trends, names, history, and even the currency - were different. he didn't know about the throbbing headache we had while the headmage was explaining the school's curriculum and suddenly bringing up the word "magic" into the conversation like it was foreign language.
he thinks he's above us just because we're a clueless student who couldnt cast any spells and took up the miserable job just for the sake of money and to live. he had this one-way "not my problem!!" mindset about us that he dipped the moment after because he never would have suspected that we would grow to be something more important, something more irreplaceable in his life.
he never meant to test the waters, and he's drowning by mistake.
his concern for you gets more obvious as each book advances (or was it always obvious??). you're just an otherworlder oblivious to the dangers that lurk in twisted wonderland, so it's only casual for him to fret about when you've been taken into scarabia with minimal escape routes, to be the first one to notice that you were missing among the entourage of people that have been kidnapped, to be the only one to point out that you weren't in the best condition AND suggesting to bring you back home in case the party was all too much. he knows how vulnerable you are, and he jumps into action as quick as possible because that's basically his brand. nothing deeper!!! (unknown dangers lurk around you on the daily, but you lurk in his mind so much more than he lets on. you're probably more used to the dangers of magic than he's used to the thought of you occupying his mind 24/7. isnt that ironic)
and he didn't consider the complications of how dangerous it could be for the headmage to send us back to our original world, possibly damaging the very fabrics of time and space and ceasing to exist while transporting - he just instantly goes to the part where the news was positive and that we could travel between Twisted Wonderland and earth in one piece, blocking out his surroundings just to see your smile, as that was possibly the happiest you could have ever been in front of him.
imagine each time he hangs out with someone new, or if someone has gained a romantic interest in him once you've left, he tries to find a part of "you" in them in his peripheral vision. whether they have an ounce of bravery that you had, whether they're as understanding as you are to know that he isn't just a human built of jokes and pranks, whether they won't doubt him like the rest did - as you were the only one who truly believed in his capability to truly lead the rest out of danger.
he could beg for other people to believe in him, to see that his skills could draw out much more if he really wanted to, but he didn't have to do that with you. in a flashing moment of possible failure, he turned to you in a heartbeat, uncharacteristically, desperately calling out for you to save him because he had no idea what was happening. he almost started to lose himself and quickly realises that the power he was wielding so suddenly wasn't some lousy spell, that it could possibly cause someone's life, and you were there to steady him when he needed it the most. a rarity of a scene he entrusted his entire body to you with. you believed in him. you ARE the betterment of him.
you held his hand like a vow, to protect each other and strengthen through every obstacle and turmoil that drives you one step closer to becoming a better version of yourself. your hand, tightly coiled around his, radiated the warmth and comfort he needed in his times of darkness and inner conflict.
it should've been you. you're perfect.
and that's why his dream still has you in it. it doesn't have to be one way or the other, you can simply go back and forth to his world and your own in just a snap! he could never dream of you leaving his sight and grasp, hindering him from ever telling you how much you actually meant. he has all the time in the world.
and that's what he wants, but his heart says otherwise, and that's fine. he just wants you to be safe and see him for who he is. you inspired him to take pride in his name, as an ace can do anything!!
#IM LOSING MY MIND THIS IS#IS THIS REAL#I CAN FINALLY REST IN PIECES?????#UNLESS THEY GIVE MORE ACEYUU XCRUMBS IN BOOK 8 (THEY WILL TRUST)#Good Night everyone! Aceyuu is officially Canon#on a more serious note: seeing all the attention aceyuu is finally starting to gain has been beyond gratifying#the entire world is spinning rapidly in aceyuu nation's favour THIS IS LEGIT#im still trying to think about yuu's possible aftermath reaction to ace's dream consisting of them being able to go back to THEIR WORLD.#almost every character acknowledges the fact that they aren't from here and dont really dwell on it any further (save deuce and grim maybe)#but ACE is already jumping to the part where they're overjoyed about them being able to go home in his dreams which hasnt even#happened in reality yet.#like wow...you care about us that much to the point where you just want us to see our home world's family and friends again and not be in#any sort of danger just as magic surrounds us literally everywhere??? CRYING.#“you don't have to stay up every night crazed about this world's education that you didn't have the chance to study in kindergarten”#“you don't have to be living in a state of constant foreboding if someone's magic starts getting out of control or if they overblot”#“just rest easy bro” ASS FUCKER ARE U KIDDING ME#seriously my otp <33333 i love them tons#IM SO EXCITED FOR WHAT THEY HAVE IN STORE ONCE BOOK 8 COMES OUTTTTTTT#aceyuu#ace x yuu#book 7 spoilers#twst book 7
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Tbh i am not surprised that a person who openly talked about having drinking problems since 1d days, because of how crazy 1d worked has been agressive. What surprises me is people being surprised (they never seriously saw drunk person?). But i am also confused about this whole book. Apparently Maya said that that book is not fully bout Liam but compilation about her exes and some of the worst parts are not about him. But recently she said that the book is “ofc about him” so what is true then? Or did she meant it that ofc some parts are about him or that whole book is about him?
Sorry, just confused
I also am not surprised- we've learned so much more about the real stories of things and about the guys' actual lives over the last years, and the story that has unfolded around Liam has been totally consistent throughout if you've been following it, and so the information Maya is telling us is shocking and upsetting but not difficult to believe. I got an anon yesterday saying they were worried about getting similar revelations about the other boys, like "if Liam could be doing this we just don't know, any of them could", and while in a way that's always true I guess, anyone could be doing anything in private like... that doesn't really concern me. Because none of these Liam revelations are coming out of nowhere, there have been many MANY steps along the way leading us here if you've been watching, and he has talked openly about both his mental health struggles and his addiction issues. So to answer that anon... to find out something similar about Louis would in contrast contradict everything we know about him and no I'm not worried about it. Is he an abuser or a loose cannon, well that news would truly shock me to my core, I will be honest. But anyway as for the book I don't find it strange that she was nervous when it came out and treading lightly and later decided, fuck it. In the absolutely on point tiktok she dropped today (YES👏GIRL👏FUCKING TELL THEM👏) she even mentions attempts to keep her from publishing the book, presumably by Liam's team, that I am riveted by and cannot WAIT to hear more details about actually- like I said I don't find it at all strange that she was nervous and downplayed it a bit then. But if she says now that it's just about Liam, well, I would say it's been clear from the beginning that the book is their story. Maya herself brought up the parallel of songs being written about stuff and I think it's the same thing; it's true (she was in an abusive relationship that involved certain kinds of events) but maybe not 100% literal (I'm sure details were changed to make the story work, it's not like a word for word timeline of their interactions or whatever).
#maya henry#blah blah blah#re the tiktok also lmaoooo are people really saying she wants money her family IS RICH like RICH RICH#but hot damn the part about enabling UH HUH !!!!!#yep yep yep#in terms of the other guys and what would shock me... well obviously we know Zayn has also had a history of agression#and we know WAY too much about him being pushy about sex lol#I would not be shocked to hear he crossed a line... but think he's probably just a bit of a fuckboy#I absolutely do not trust Niall behind closed doors but the songs we have about him seem to tell a pretty consistent story;#self absorbed but basically harmless#harry... who tf knows what he is like outside of being with Louis but I would be shocked to hear of him being aggressive yeah#I have a lot of issues with him but taking advantage of people or being pushy are not even on the radar#and as for Louis... like I said yeah it WOULD shock me. I don't just love him because he has a nice face!#it's BECAUSE of the ways we do know him and know what he's like. because of his tenderness and care#and his consistent kindness and love#and his openness about his private side#so yeah- it would shock the hell out of me it really would#but then I think that anon also was worried about eleanor spiling smth about their relationship so we are not coming from the same place#my kneejerk response was I'm sure he paid her on time what else are you worried about lol#although out of everyone if someone was going to say he lashed out at them I suppose it would be her#it was probably one of the most difficult and frought relationships in his life#and one that he did not want#so! but still no it doesn't worry me#tbh there was one thing in mayas video today that did surprise me which was the premeditation#Liam actually planning using the fans against people and sneaking around doing stuff#I guess even believing everythign I had chosen to paint a picture in my mind of someone who was still#basically unaware of the wrong they were doing and more flailing than plotting#and that shakes me a little. and makes me very unhappy to hear#liam discourse
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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all
#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him#it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain#I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded#what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually#'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically#on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here#it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside#ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me#'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training#('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house#(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love#the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me
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one thing I haven't seen anyone say about watcher yet, but has really disappointed me, is that only three months ago they mentioned in the truth about filming ghost files video that they had to let go of 5 (if I'm remembering the number properly) employees. and when I watched that video I was disappointed that hey hadn't planned the business properly to avoid things like that, but they are primarily creatives, so I figured there would be some business mistakes made along the way. but then hearing they just hired the 2 worth it guys and are reviving an expensive show... I feel like they could've prevented the lay offs better
#watcher#i know they said steven's more business-minded but as someone who did their schooling in business i have constantly questioned their choices#they have just consistently made bad start-up decisions#just the firing and then hiring in such close time really irked me because (and im not saying this is reality)#it seemed like they freed up part of their budget with that to bring their friends back#idk it's just disheartening to see#i wish i could keep looking at with them being unaware and making bad business decisions but there's a point where they gotta know better#and i know everyone is dogpiling on steven but i don't think a lot of these decisions made without at least one of the ghoul boys agreeing#:/#i feel like they never really went through the bootstrapping phase and that is integral for the majority of start-ups#for at least 5 years - cause most start-ups don't start making money until after that point#this became a whole separate rant in the tags whoops
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So... so... so... I'm playing the Act 4 Natlan Archon Quest, and uh, (potential very very vague spoilers) but uh... Getting the urge to go reread Cyanide Narwhal for the nth time... If you've played the Archon Quest, did you have any thoughts about it? If not... well, it made me think of your fic, so... Congrats to you!!! <3
i mean i did have thoughts about it but i hardly remember them now LMAO it's been a while, but it was a great quest!!
#to be entirely honestly all i can remember is having yet another bad epiphany about the traveler#like i need more of those#i don't even remember what part of the quest made me have that realization#i just know it was either this quest or one close around it that made it sort of click#the traveler doesn't see the fatui grunts as people lmao#which is hilarious and very in-character for them i must say#but just like with cyno being consistently a cop it's like#i know hoyo. you don't need to keep reminding me they're like that. it's not gonna suddenly make me like them. quite the opposite#not that i dislike them they're just whatever in my mind#though i guess it helps in keeping things straight given i forget they exist for a while#anyway long live capitano i love that man#thank you <3 <3#ily <3
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compilation of this guys colours haunting me
#every iterator we have seen in game has a different puppet colour than their associated colour#Moon is blue and yellow. Pebbles pink and cyan. Suns yellow and red#the colours arent exactly opposite of eachother. more like a third across the colour wheel maybe?#though suns colours are pretty close together so idk#and nsh being green on green doesn't really fit that but iterator colours aren't really consistent anyways. But just following that logic#what if purple. But then its purple puppet with purple cloak#im not even gonna start about the scarf in the tags that things maybe existence haunts me just as much#I don't think ourple nsh is more canon im just losing my mind a bit thumbs up I love green NSH my favourite pea head ever#probably gonna draw him both ways#also tag ramble jumpscare get scared get scared#my art
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Random ask timeee! :D
As a tribute to the dire state the Hunting Dogs are currently in, which duo/trio of them is your favorite? Which are you gonna be most excited about when they (hopefully) reunite? 👀
AAAA HIHIHI
My favorite duo that I miss dearly, and barely have content of is Jōnō and Tachihara. They're such wasted potential istg. Tachihara is bothered by being supposedly 'not very smart'–which I heavily disagree with–and you know who could make up for that? Jōnō. Jōnō is the brain and Tachihara is the brawn, but their capability isn't limited to just that. Yes, Tetchō and Jōnō fit this description too, but to me, the unexplored battle potential of Tachihara's and Jōnō's combined Abilities is just so much more intriguing. With the very few interactions we got of them in canon, I can't help but imagine them having some brothers bonding time but it's military lab rats style. Also no one can convince me that they're not sent out on undercover missions the most, like they're both incredible actors; they'd fool Mōri, which Tachihara already did. Even Dazai could take a while to realize them. They're my power duo ever though I don't think we'll see them again for a while now. (If ever ಥ‿ಥ)
#Jōn�� does the planning#And he switches the decoy/bait role with Tachihara according to the situation#They don't have any default roles they just go with the flow#coordination at it's finest because I said so#Also don't mind if I do but#Blind buddies#Before Tachihara went blind I feel like he'd subconsciously start describing the surroundings whenever Jōnō is around#even if he knows Jōnō could most definitely tell where they were#It became a habit for some reason#Like#“We're currently entering a shopping district; it consists mainly of bakeries and restaurants. The color scheme is on the softer sides-#-though there is a ridiculous amount of green here.”#But it's actually him being color blind to red and green.#Jōnō silently appreciates the gesture#I also feel like Jōnō would give Tachihara pieces of advice for his Mafia-sona#He's a former crime boss so he's pretty reliable#Jōnō trolls with him a lot though and Tachihara only realizes an eternity later#They're so dear to me#saff-ron tag#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#tachihara michizou#bsd tachihara#tachihara bsd#jouno saigiku#saigiku jōno#bsd saigiku#Bsd duos#hunting dogs bsd
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i may... have figured out what i want to doodle for valentine's day... ;w;
#lil' summoner/zihark chemistry character sheet..... both useful if i ever wanted to comm something + consistency and also just cute.....#don't mind me i'm being extra indulgent to myself in this area for (unrelated redacted) reasons. also the 20 year anni <3#lol sorry gunterpoasting will resume. just need a small break :P (letting the strip marinate a touch etc)#selfship shenanigans
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16 year old girls and that one "friend" <<<
#Vent post!!!! How is it my fault you've never apologized?#YOU CALLED MY SISTER AN ACHOHLIC#and you don't get why I don't talk to you anymore?#You think you can just offer me notecards and I'll forgive you again?#You broke my trust and you broke any faith I had that I could rely on you#No matter what everything's always about you#You trauma dump on everyone of our friends every day#You don't understand boundaries#You made fun of my personalit and talked about how the guy I liked could never like me (Because you liked him to)#You make fun of the fact and get angry at me for not being able to read social cues#When you talked about how I wasn't talking to you anymore you said “Sadie's not talking to me anymore and she won't tell me why”#Even though we set up a time to talk about stuff and you never called you lied & said I never texted you back#And oh by the way? When I texted you back to set up a time to talk YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DIDN'T CALL#And when one of our mutual friends said maybe you should try again you said “Oh well it's not like it's a big deal”#Even though we've been friends since 8th grade#So either you think I'm just going to forgive you with no effort on your end or you don't care#And to top it all off#You blame me for you not going back to Christianity sooner#Yet you still pressured me consistently about going to church with you#Even though I said no#Literally screw yourself#Your a bad friend and kinda a horrible person#You use religion as an excuse to be close minded and cruel while elevating yourself as holier than thou#Well guess what?#That's not being a good christian!#Your a fraud#And I think deep down you know that
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You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Kayako#And Teisel's there technically#*Die again - he's sticking with his track record lol at least he's consistent#Ghost/Curse GF arc!! I enjoy seeing ZEX happy but I am Concerned for him lol#ZEX be attracted to something/one that won't brutally murder him challenge - difficulty impossible#His affection for the grotesque and monstrous - I mean while it's admirable he does regularly put himself in dangerous situations!#Runs solely on the Suspension Bridge Effect lol - attraction and fear so conflated in his mind <3#I keep thinking of his human instincts as specifically Max's instincts since it's his body - Max's self-preservation and fear and hunger#Which ZEX dutifully ignores lol Max's body tells him to bolt and privately replies like ''Yes yes in a moment'' haha#His fascination wins out! To his own detriment haha#Although I say all that as though I don't relate in my own way - I have maybe just a few too many notes relating to ZEX lol#It's always been hard for me to get into horror in the way it's intended to spook and scare because I tend to get sad :')#So many monsters and ghosts and creatures are victims of circumstance! Like Kayako! As she is here she's not even malicious just dangerous#I've never seen the Grudge so it's only speculation but it seems very sad that she was tethered as a Curse rather than a malignant spirit#Like a battery moreso than an individual - what a terrible after-existence! It makes me sad to consider!#ZEX reaching out to her in his own way is very sweet <3 He's so biased towards his darlings hehe#In a way being human does suit him - we'll packbond with anything that Might have even the slightest inclination to not maim us lol#And the way he personifies her! (VUXonifies her?) Reading intention or emotion into her actions with no proof and no understanding!#The way he ''tries to read her face'' as if he hasn't been struggling with that this entire time - with other humans who can tell him so ♪#His pride is so delicious <3 He is so easily blinded to his own shortcomings in the face of pleasure and the potential for connection!#It's no wonder DAX worries about him so much hehe ♥#It also always makes me so happy to have something fit together so perfectly like those last two hehe <3#That vine didn't exist when this happened! But there it is!! I love newer memes on older media hehehe ♪♫
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!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#A great episode tbh especially given the low budget. I feel like they really did their very best#And even though what I'm going to say next is probably going to be all critic - because I nitpick things and that's what I always end up–#talking about - I still want to underline that it was a very solid and enjoyable episode!!!#Alright the ss/kk was so 💞💞💞 every scene I had to rewatch twice or thrice akhscbashfb they're so cute!!!#Except for the riding scene tho. That scene gives me massive second hand embarrassment every time I just wish it will end as fast as–#possible pffttt. Mmmmhhh... The drawings weren't even too bad all accounted. My main complain is about the quicksand scene...#I feel like that one should be a slow quiet emotional scene. I never licked the choice of using the song as background soundtrack :/#I feel like it ruins the mood of the scene (it was still good though)#I also... Generally don't like the direction they seem to go for with Akutagawa's character in the anime‚ he seems quite a bit flatter–#compared to how he is in the manga. He can't be angry and evil ALL the time you need to show that softness get through from time to time.#If not what even is the point of his character. Yet in the anime he's angry (and not distraught) when he loses the mine craft and he's–#angry when he's questioning Atsushi about his motifs and he's angry when he's bragging about Atsushi's abilities to Goncharov and he's–#angry when he makes the promise with Atsushi at the end of the episode and eventually he'll be just as angry even when telling Atsushi–#to run away as he's sacrificing his life for him. It is pretty flat at the end of the day.#If I can say something about K/ensho Ono without being killed I think they do contribute to making him feel angry all the time.#But that said it's all probably poor directing choices (or simply choices I don't agree with).#Also‚ about cuts. Usually I try to be lenient about it– I understand it's hard to fit in everything and b/sd already does a very–#good job by adapting the manga almost panel-by panel. It's just that... You skip Akutagawa showing compassion for Atsushi after the–#orphanage director died. You skip Atsushi sharing the same compassion when Akutagawa loses his targed in the mines chase. You skip the–#“Nothing special about that. // I suppose he's far crueler than my own mentor.” line. And sure each of them may be negligible by their own#But together they wave a consistent web of relationship between the two characters you know? And it's a loss to omit them all#Well no mind. Again it was still a great episode overall!!!!#I think the colors in the mines could have been prettier in the mines but we can't have it all#Off to season 4!!! Omg I can't believe we got this far :DDD#random rambles#FINALLY was able to catch up in time for the season 3 finale!!!!!!
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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it
#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true#but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this#but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often#so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME#BUT I REPRESSED IT#and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes#also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to#and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME#actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it#bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me#anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories#or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho#which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety — nope!! okiedoke moving on#k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now#*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time#(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)
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I have not forgotten the draft regarding "How I would write Clouds Leave No Trace", it still lingers its still there
Im still thinking about how my least favorite parts are Yanqing's characterization, The way the world around Jingliu treats her like she's normal when clearly she's not, The way there's such an effort into putting Yingxing and Dan Feng on the same level of guilt for every single thing that it makes Blade's desire for revenge feel nonsensical and out of no where when he has good reason for it, The way that they don't do more to play up the HCQ's dynamic especially in the normal areas thus making caring about their tragedy a struggle if you haven't done all the "prerequisite reading" (even tho the quest should make the players care more and want to read instead of requiring the opposite), The way that they literally mention Bailu and Blade crossed paths but never show us that scene DESPITE all of the importance placed upon Baiheng and Yingxing's friendship, Did I mention My Massive Problems with my boy Yanqing's characterization in this quest versus what we see of how he's affected both before and after it?
Oh and of course, to mention Jing Yuan not really feeling like he has as much significance being in this quest despite being apart of the HCQ and Jingliu's disciple because yet again, they especially don't do enough to develop on screen (but also not enough in the readable text too) his connections to the rest of the HCQ (which in general if you ask me, makes it a lot harder to be that sad at the moments they clearly want us to feel sad for him over the HCQ)
I could go on and on about the problems of Hyv not fully giving the audience a reason to care for the HCQ's tragedy by the way they are barely shown on screen, shoving it all in readables and character stories and relic lore. Even their legends get barely any screen time to build up to when we hear about the fall out.
Also again, not kidding about Jingliu and the world's perception around her. She is described solely in the beginning as bringing a chill to the room, but she's clearly very intimidating, if you ask me she seems very clearly unstable as well and yet when they waltz around in a populated area with no attention getting drawn to them or suspicion or anything. I also call Massive Bullshit on Bailu being like "Wow but she seems so normal and kind, there's nothing about her at all that could make me think she's marastruck 😲!!" When if you ask me, that whole scene could have been used in a much more meaningful way to make a connection between Bailu and her resemblance to Baiheng Specifically in a way I will further elaborate on in my full post about it BUT YEAH Jingliu deserved so much better with this quest, so so much better
And even just small details get me like Jingliu leaving first from Scalegorge Waterscale, then Jing Yuan, Yanqing and Ren leaving? Like if you ask me, let Jingliu leave with Jing Yuan and Yanqing like they're escorting her (idc about any "She was already turning herself in!" There are a number of reasons to be cautious, not solely of her, and keep her in their view) and then talk to and have Ren leave last.
I am still thinking about it, that post still haunts me daily, I have grown to like the quest but my problems with it are so strong and so clear that it's like AHA I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT
#I have so many opinions on this quest#And a clear vision in my mind#I still don't know why it exists in its own little bubble#Why is Yanqing acting so odd in this quest but then goes right back to his normal consistent point of character regarding his failures afte#Also even with the argument of it being Jinglius biased words#Having NO mention of Dan Feng while talking about Yingxing's fate at all is wild and weird#Not even a “His stupidity and loyalty to you got him turned into a monster” kind of thing#Where it doesn't even have to be explicitly all the fault on Dan Feng but treating it like he wasn't at all involved in that transformation#It's crazy to me#But yeah uh#I bet if I wasn't obsessed with Blade and the HCQ#To the point of going through the readables and little quests with any mentions of them and their character stories#That I wouldn't be as emotional as I was during Clouds Leave No Trace because they really don't do enough to give reasons to care#The reason I cried for Blade when I played it is bc I read VotU knew what Baiheng meant to him & the ChrStr to know what they meant to him#The game should do more to tell us those kinds of things upfront if they want us to be more likely to have the reaction they seek#ALSO#NOT ENOUGH FLASHBACKS#SERIOUSLY ADD SOME MORE !!!#Even just snippets and add little lines and moments or views of the past overlaid on the prescent?#Hsr#Honkai star rail#Jingliu#Baiheng#Dan heng#Dan feng#Yanqing#Jing yuan#Yingxing#Hsr blade#high cloud quintet
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i just want to be a little sappy on main and say that i am very grateful for those of you that follow me now and those that have stuck with me even after i poofed on and off for like... 2 years. when i was thinking about coming back around this time last year, i was honestly very cautiously optimistic about returning. because i had a lot of grievances and Thoughts™ about my experience here. and i honestly didn't think i would come back--much less be thinking about reviving a second blog. i am still just taking it easy and making sure i come first :) but i'm very happy to be writing like i used to because i really missed it.
#ツ ┊ ⧼ catwalk talk ⧽ ⇹ ( ooc. )#.don't mind me i'm just happy that i've found my little spot for myself again#.and i'm just nestling myself in there like a lil roach#.writing has always been one of my main outlets and while it's not like i didn't write during my break (because i did for sure)#.but i guess my brain was telling me that i missed these trash babies ;w; and i did#.hopefully next year i'll continue being consistent and won't drop off the face of the earth gdmbgdfg--#.thank you for coming to my ted talk. i'm gonna go do bedtime routine shit <3
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/obey me! vent/
#jessamine rambles#before i start. pls keep in mind that this is fully subjective and could just be a 'me' problem. i just want to get this off my chest#ngl i've been contemplating on whether i want to stop playing obey me. both the og game and nightbringer#idk i've been playing the game since its first month and while it's given me a lot of joy + memories + chances to befriend other ppl. i'm#pretty burned out. not to mention TIRED of my consistent disappointment with the game#the main story.....where do i start?? i actually enjoyed s1-s3 despite my qualms with the fillers and pacing but s4 disappointed me. i was#rlly looking forward to simeon's storyline and the new characters but ultimately. the devs tried to squeeze too many things into one season#not to mention that there is a notable difference in how the characters are written. i.e. beel's hunger and asmo's beauty#being watered down to running gags instead of the complexities explored in the old dg stories and chara songs#gameplay-wise. i was there when the devs raised the rewards price of the event urs and removed the demon ssrs completely#but nightbringer was the last straw for me. the amount of time it takes to grind for two games. knowing that the og app has essentially bee#abandoned by the devs?? not to mention that while the plot is interesting. i haven't touched the main story ever since the coma arc#i will give credit to the devs for improving the event stories by choosing to focus on 1-2 demons. but it has always felt like a quantity >#quality situation. esp if i were to compare it to my other fandoms#it also doesn't help that i'm currently at a point of my life where i'm questioning if i could use my time on obm for better things#seeing how the game is giving me less reasons to believe it is worth my time#idk this may also be a short-term phase since i DID get back into twst after a long hiatus and i recently got into whb#which btw has felt like a breath of fresh air despite my frustrations with the bugs and current gacha#but yeahhhh........as much as i love the obm characters and fanfics. i'm just tired#at this point i feel like the only reason why i still play the game is due to the nostalgia and so i don't waste the years of grinding#aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#this is what i get for being the type of player who only plays a few games so they can rlly dedicate their time and passion to it#that's all
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being aroace is crazy bc sometimes it's like. whoo yay i have such a wider perception of relationships that's so cool yay!!! and sometimes it's like. i hate this it sucks
#squishy talks too much#i love my identity as aroace. but like#i am tired of being misunderstood#i wish i didn't have to go on social media and see people saying aroace identities and relationships aren't real#i wish i didn't have to go on aroace posts and see allo people say shit that is just straight up insensitive in the comments lol#i wish i didn't have to simplify my identity when people i don't know well enough ask bc they're not gonna understand if i tell them i'm#aro and a lesbian. sometimes people don't even understand asexual and lesbian#some people don't even know aro and ace are both separate things. some people don't know there is aroace at all#and like i don't mind when they're nice and they're respectful upon me explaining but it's like. can we please acknowledge aroace people#just as a whole. to the point where i don't have to consistently explain even the *very basic basics* to people both queer and not queer#and i wish i never personally had to argue with people about whether my aroaceness is valid or not#like. people have told me my identity and other aroace identities are fake DIRECTLY and DEBATED me on my OWN FEELINGS#like it's fuckin high school english or sum. it's insane#and i wish i could look at the list of Options when it comes to relationships and like#not want to choose 'none of the above but also not nothing in general'#and. i'm just tired#WAIT I FORGOT ONE MORE#i wish people would have aroace hcs for characters that aren't just#The Token Obvious Character To Call Aroace#i wish allo people would see us as more than a few repetitive and tired stereotypes#and i wish close relationships in fiction would be seen in aroace contexts#okay that's seriously it sorry for hater-ing on main
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