#don't mind me continuing to edit this three hours after posting it

[koinotame]

your (househusband) roommate, ajax

word count: 1.5K content warnings: unhealthy relationship dynamics, childe gets called your house husband but you’re not actually married, generally gross stuff (he sniffs your used shirt), it's implied of childe scares away someone else

a/n: this is a repost (slightly edited)! i lost the original post w/ the basic idea but essentially this is a side au of sagau/self aware genshin where the characters (in this case childe) find their way into your world, but in the process you lose all memories about genshin. i'll be reposting all of the series, but it's also on ao3! part two is here!

when you first learned who your roommate would be, you were exasperated. you’d heard about him before, and you were well aware that he's amassed a reputation of being a trouble maker. you had no interest in getting into trouble, especially not during your first year.

...so you were pretty pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be a total sweetheart.

you’re reminded of that when you enter the kitchen, rubbing at your eyes and yawning. the smell of pancakes wafts through the air, and you can’t even get out a small 'good morning' before ajax is grinning at you and sliding you some pancakes. "don’t wait for me and eat up, okay? I put plenty of love into them, so they should taste great."

you ignore his banter (insisting on waiting for him is a lost battle, you’ve learned) and take a bite. you don’t finish chewing before you sleepily nod.

he laughs good-naturedly. "I’m glad, I’m glad. do you want more?" another drowsy nod has him piling most of the remaining pancakes onto your plate.

he continues chatting with you while you eat and he finishes the batch, though he does most of the talking. as usual, he doesn’t seem to mind your silence too much. once he’s done, he turns the fire off and props his elbow on the counter to stare at you. you don't pay him any mind.

he slides the platter to you the second you peek at it. after having eaten well over two servings you’re not really interested in more though, so you shake your head. "I'm full. aren’t you going to eat any?"

he beams. "aww, were you thinking about me? don’t worry, I already ate." you’re almost certain he didn’t. avoiding the judgemental look that crosses your eyes at his response, he laughs in a way that’d be awkward if it was anyone else. "I’ll put the rest in a tupper then, okay? have them whenever."

he’s taking your plate and putting it in the sink before you can even stand to move it to the dishwasher. you sigh and stick out your tongue at him when he turns to you. "you know you really don’t have to go out of your way do all of this."

he smiles at you. "why not? I enjoy cooking, and you can be my taste-tester." the amounts he feeds you go well beyond that, and he's avoiding the rest of your question, but okay. you should've gotten the message—that it's futile to ask him this kind of question—by now.

while you you face plant into the couch to avoid thinking about anything else, ajax stays in the kitchen, cleaning up and humming some lullaby as he washes the pan and plates. it’s too early to think on this saturday morning. the cushion feels nice and soft against your cheek and you can’t help but burrow yourself further into the pillows.

wait.

you lift your head up, peeking your head out behind the back of the couch.

"the apron is cute."

he nearly drops the pan.

it’s not often that you bring over friends, so ajax insists on cleaning beforehand and serving your group snacks much like a mother hen would throughout their stay.

their two, maybe three if you're pushing it, hour stay. all you’re going to is chat, it’s not like they’re going to be staying overnight or anything.

you sigh but let him do what he wants.

some cookies are laid out by the time they arrive, and he’s hovering around pretty much indefinitely to serve tea or juice.

it’s cute, in a way, but your friends’ teasing is not.

"you know, he’s kind of like your house husband, isn’t he?" your friend comments, leaning over and biting into a powdery cookie.

you try to ignore the way ajax beams. you try to ignore the way he cheers to himself even harder.

"not really..." your weak attempts at rebutting their words make your friends laugh.

the rest of the session goes by normally; you talk about the kinds of things you’d regularly talk about with friends. someone in your group recently received a promotion, and somebody else got fired. somebody gained a boyfriend, another realised she didn’t have the time or energy for relationships not too long ago.

the longer the conversation goes on, the more the chatter becomes background noise as the you retreat to your own world. the drink in your hands gets lukewarm long before you finish it despite your frequent sipping.

when they finally leave, you feel more relieved than you should.

you see them off with a smile, but your head is pounding by the time you sit back down and your ears can finally rest. now that you’re (mostly, ajax is always just kind of there) alone, you can finally have some peace and quiet and relax.

or that’s what you think until ajax leans over the couch, head hovering above yours. "now that they’re gone… would you prefer dinner, a bath, or me?"

you stare at him. he doesn’t move, clearly eager for your answer. eventually, you sigh and gently push his face away. "dinner would be nice."

he laughs, something warm and domestic dancing in his cold eyes. "of course! it’ll be ready soon."

he presses a quick kiss to your cheek before leaving.

you whine, but the space he touched feels tingly even against your own hand.

"ajax."

he drops your wallet, not even attempting to take back the couple hundred bills peeking out. his response is nonchalant, even at his supposed surprise at having been caught by you. "ahh, I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon. look at what I found!"

you stare. at him. at what he’s holding. at your wallet on the floor.

you’re certain you did not have that many hundred bills. you’re going to cry if you find him trying to stuff his money into your wallet again.

"you mentioned liking this, right? I was out earlier and I thought I could get it for you. you know, as a sign of goodwill and all, for being such a great roommate."

a couple months ago, you would have been perplexed. he insists on doing all of the chores and most of the cooking, and he pays most of the bills. is the 'great roommate' status because you’re quiet and don’t host loud parties, or…? you don’t question it anymore at this point.

"ajax."

a couple months ago, he might’ve gotten unnerved by your silence. instead, he pushes it into your hands, a wide grin on face, ruffles your hair and saunters out.

you have yet to find his wallet. despite that, all the cash (and then some) that you’d left on his bedside table or bed has always managed to find a way back to your wallet, so there would probably be little point anyway.

"ah, that reminds me!" he peeks back into your room a couple minutes later. "what would you like for dinner?" the nerve of him to ask this right after he calls you a great roommate…

"maybe some soup?" you say instead.

he smiles, bows, and takes his leave. the apron you called cute a few weeks ago is already fixed onto him.

you sigh, sliding the bills in properly.

wait a second. is that a credit card…?

you were expecting many things when you finally caught him, but him sniffing only your shirt—out of all your available laundry—wasn’t one of them.

"…what are you doing?"

you have never seen him jerk his head as quickly, nor have you ever seen him so red. or speechless.

you both stand there in silence for a few seconds before he blinks rapidly and his breathing becomes ragged. "it’s not—I—it’s not what you think, I swear—"

"okay, whatever." you wave him off. somehow, this doesn’t alarm you as much as it should. "I don’t care what you were doing, don’t do it again."

he nods quickly, considerably less composed than he usually is, and shoves your shirt back into the basket briskly. "also… can you stop leaving your stuff in my wardrobe. I know you know the difference."

"ah, that was…" he’s clearly at a loss for words, not sure how to justify himself after having been caught committing not only one transgression, but two.

you set the clothes of his you were bringing to him down, tempted to just throw them at him.

you swallow your nerves, almost nervously meeting his eyes. "look, I don’t really care, but can you at least leave me stuff like your jacket or sweater? your shirts aren’t really my style."

his breathing hitches again but he gives no response otherwise, so you shake your head and turn to leave. the laundromat room is thankfully empty save for the two of you, something you’re glad for.

as you pass through the door, it occurs to you that the guy who’d been smoking in here hasn’t shown up in a while. now that you think about it, that was the reason ajax had offered to take over laundry duty too...

oh well, it’s of no concern to you, you think to yourself as you make the journey back to your room.

[hunted-moth]

Just Like Him  Chapter Five If Only We Were In France

Wordcount // 2k

Summary // Dr. Jenner feels as though it’s better if you stay locked in the basement of the CDC

Warning //Angst, Language, Death, Killing of Walkers, Typical TWD stuff really

OTHER STUFF//wow this really short lmao

A/N // LETSS GOOO last chapter. After this, I'm gonna take a small break from posting chapters. I'll be writing for season two, but I'm gonna write all the drafts and then post them when I'm done editing/proofing it lol

***: Major time Skip/scene change

*: small time skip/scene change

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          It was quiet and tense as you and Carl read a book on the couch in Lori's room. After the events from that morning, no one was really in the mood to talk. The only words Lori said were to Carl. Telling him to study and stuff. So to get your mind off everything, you decided to read a book on mushrooms and other stuff on forging. 

While you were reading you heard a noise and saw Lori stand up and reach her hand up to the ceiling vents. 

“Something wrong Mom?” Carl asked, you looked to her for answers as she turned to you both.

“It’s, uhh…nothing, the air just stopped working.” she looked around then a moment later the lights went out. You gathered your books and followed Lori as she poked her head out to ask others if they were experiencing the same thing. 

Then from your view, you could see Jenner walking down the hall with his signature speed. Everyone started to bombard him with questions about what was going on and why the lights were out. 

“Energy use is being prioritized” he answered the questions bluntly. Dale got a shocked look on his face at the answer

“Air isn't a priority, and lights?” he asked the man who didn't even blink an eye towards him

“It's not up to me, zone fine is shutting itself down” Then he disappeared behind a corner. You all quickly followed him as Daryl demanded answers from him. Daryl matched his speed and got in his face.

“Hey man I'm talking to you, what do you mean it's shutting itself down??” the more you walked the closer you got to the big room. You soon met up with Rick the others who went to look around.

“What's happening?” Rick demanded, but Jenner just flew past him. Throwing the explanation over his shoulder. 

“The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power. It’s designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark.” he checked his watch as he stopped “Right on schedule” and then continued walking.

He stopped, and everyone stared at him. All of them were scared and didn’t know what was gonna happen.  You looked to Dale as he put his arm around you, shielding you. You saw Jenner bow his head and looked at the rest of you before he spoke again.

“It was the French” he spoke cooly and bluntly. You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion, what does the French have to do with this right now, you thought. 

“They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end” he took a breath “They thought they were close to a solution” he said sadly.

“What happened?” Jacqui asked his softy. You looked at him again.

“The same thing happening now.” he looked around “No power grid, the place ran out of juice” he threw his arms up like a madman “The whole world runs off fossil fuel, I mean how stupid is that!” Jenner looked to you all again. 

Shane grew pissed as he stared down the scientist. “I'll tell you what” he began to walk towards the man, but Rick cut him off.

“To hell with it Shane, I don't even care” he turned to you three “Lori grab our things, the rest of you, grab your stuff, we’re getting out of here NOW!”

As you all began to leave a loud alarm filled your ears. You covered your ears as VI's voice came over the intercom. 

“30 minutes to decantation” You looked to Lori and Rick confused then looked to the clock, and sure enough, the clock had thirty minutes remaining. During the confusion, you saw Jenner enter something and then you heard Rick yelling at everyone to hurry and grab their belongings. You ran after the metal door about the pass it when it shut on you.

You looked back to see Jenner talking to the computer monitor as everything sunk in. ‘he just locked us in here, were gonna die’ You wanted to cry but at that point, you felt nothing. This was supposed to be a safe haven, nothing was gonna go wrong, but it’s been all wrong since you got here.

But Shane attacked Lori and now the mad scientist just locked in here to die. Your attention was pulled away when you saw Darly run toward Jenner as he tried to hit him. But T-dog and Shane held him back. 

Once Shane and T-dog got Daryl away from Jenner, Rick demanded that he open the doors, but Jenner kept saying that he doesn't control the doors, the computers do 

“Can’t you override the doors? Please you have to do something” you begged the man as he looked back at you then Rick. 

“What happens in twenty-eight minutes?! What happens!?” Rick demanded from Jenner but that pissed Jenner off as he went on a rant about the CDC. But he controlled himself as he sat down again and explained the protocol.

“In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example—H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out.” you looked at him confused and scared, Jenner signed and looked down as he had VI defined H.I.T.s

“high-impulse thermo baric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired” VI explained in its soulless robotic voice.

“It sets the air on fire, it's painless” Jenner tried to comfort everyone but it was drowned out by Carol and Sophia's cries of anguish. “An end to sorrow and grief-” Jenner was cut off by a smash of glass. 

“OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR, NOW!” Daryl yelled making you jump as you looked back at the door now dripping with liquor.

Shane then rushed past you with an axe then Daryl somehow got an axe and they both started to hit the door but it did nothing, it barely left a scratch. A pit began in your stomach as they continued to hack at the door. Jenner kept spewing bullshit about how this was better. You wanted to ring his neck, because if you died, then your mother would have died for nothing.

“Can't make a dent,” Shane said with a deep breath, then Jenner sighed and pinched his nose.

“Those doors are meant to withstand a rocket blaster” That's when you felt Daryl rush past you with the axe held high.

“WELL YOUR HEAD AINT!”  everybody rushed towards him and pulled him back as Jenner stepped back away from the scene. Something in Jenner must've snapped inside him as he stared at Rick.

“You wanted this, you said it was a matter of time before everybody you knew and loved was dead,” Jenner said cooly while looking Rick dead in the eye. Everyone was looking at Rick, with confusion, shock, and anger. 

“What? You really said that after all your big talk?” Shane said in disbelief. Rick looked around before his eyes locked on Lori's confused and hurt face. 

“I had to keep hope alive didn't I?” Rick looked around desperately. But Jenner just interjected again.

“There is no hope, there never was” You looked down solemnly.

“There’s always hope. Maybe it won’t be you, maybe not here but somebody somewhere-” Andrea cut Rick off, making her mind known.

“What part of ‘everything is gone’ do you not understand” Her tone sounded annoyed and done. 

“Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event.” Jenner reasoned that what he said was common sense. Like it was a known fact that humans would die because the dead were eating the living. You didn't like it, you balled your fist as your body went ridged and some tears leaked from your face.

You really couldn't believe this is where you would die, stuck underground with a whole bunch of people, and not surrounded by family when you were old and frail in a hospital. You couldn't even say goodbye to your brother, you couldn't see him anymore because your body would be nothing, not even dust. 

You were pulled from your thought when you heard a gun cock, making you look up to see Shane also rushing Jenner. You were actually kinda hoping he would shoot him so that he could suffer in his last moments. 

Rick tried to intervene Shane's path but Shane just pushed out of the way and aimed the shotgun. 

“Out of the way, Rick!  Stay out of my way! OPEN THAT DOOR OR I’M GONNA BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF. DO YOU HEAR ME?” he shouted in Jenner's face with the shotgun pointed at his head. Rick ran up to Shane and tried to pull him away again, trying to reason with him.

“Brother, brother, this is not the way you do this. We will never get out of here.” he stared into his eyes, Lori tried to convince him but he gave neither a reaction as he stared into Jenner's soul. You swear you saw Shane's finger twitch around the trigger before Rick spoke again.

“He dies, we all die” Shane looked at Rick then screamed and began to shoot the monitor screens behind Jennifer's head before Rick wrestled the gun out of Shane's hands. During the struggle, Shane began to fight back causing Rick to hit him with the butt of the gun, knocking Shane to the ground.

Rick lectures Shane while handing the gun to T-dog. He then composed himself and looked Jenner dead in the eyes.

“I think you’re lying” Jenner looked at him confused “You’re lying about there being no hope. If that were true, you’d have bolted with the rest or taken the easy way out. You didn’t. You chose the hard path. Why?” Rick got up in his face, looking into his soul.

“It doesn't matter” Jenner brushed it off and looked to the computer screen. But Rick didn't like that answer and questioned him again. Sometimes you forget he’s a cop.

“It does matter, it always matters. You stayed, and others ran, why?” Jenner was getting mad now. You could see the way his eyes and eyebrows narrowed causing his face to winkle in anger. 

“Not because I wanted to. I made a promise.” he stood up and pointed to the screen, TS-19 still projected, “To her. My wife.” he said with so much restraint like he was willing himself to stay composed. 

You felt pity for Jenner when he revealed the identity of the subject, just a smidge, you still wanted to leave the damn basement. 

“She begged me to keep going as long as I could. How could I say no?” he said sadly. In the distance you could hear pounding on the door again, looking over your shoulder you saw Daryl trying and failing at breaking the door down. 

“She was dying. It should’ve been me on that table. I wouldn’t have mattered to anybody. She was a loss to the world.  Hell, she ran this place. I just worked here.” he took a breath and composed himself “In our field she was an Einstein. Me? I’m just… Edwin Jenner. She could’ve done something about this. Not me.” Jenner was a broken man on the inside, you could tell. 

“Your wife didn’t have a choice. You do. That’s—that’s all we want—a choice, a chance.” Rick looked at the man earnestly.

“Let us keep trying! As long as we can” Lori pleaded with him. She locked eyes with him, her soft kind, and desperate eyes, then sighed and turned to the keypad again. You hear those femoral beeps again and jump up, grabbing your stuff, but what he said made you bold to the doors.

“I told you, everything topside is locked up” Then the door opened. Everyone was grabbing their stuff and running out. But when you looked back two people didn't follow. 

Andrea and Jaqui. 

You didn't have time to register why didn't follow because Daryl practically dragged you down the halls? You make it to the lobby. Glenn and T-dog went to try the doors but they wouldn't budge. Then Daryl and Shane went at the glass with axes, which didn't work either.

Everyone was freaking out and running, trying to figure out how to get out. Then you saw Shane load a shotgun and back away. When he fired the gun, all it did was cause a huge spider web crack. Then Carol walked up to Rick.

“I think I have something” You looked at her and saw the goddamn grenade in her hand “When I washed your uniform, I found this in your pocket” Rick took the weapon and everyone backed up to hide from the blast. You hid behind some stairwells and crouched down, covering your ears and bracing for the impact.

BOOM

You heard the sound of glass breaking and peeked out from behind the stairs and got up and and ran to the rest of the group, following them out as they ran. The once foul smell of the area didn't bother you, it reminded you that you were alive for another minute. 

Walkers were limping towards your group but you paid no mind as Rick and Shane handled them. Your eyes were on the blue truck in front of you. 

You ran with Daryl as you ran for the blue pickup. He was in the lead making sure there weren't any walkers. He reached the pick-up first and opened the door urging you inside.

“Comon hurry up!” he yelled at you. You jumped he pushed in the foot space area then got in himself. And just as soon as he did that, you heard the building blow. You covered your ears as you felt the truck sway from the blast. Daryl lay flat against the bench of the cab. When it was over you looked out the window to see nothing but fire and rubble. 

“You okay?” he asked as he looked at the building. You nodded your head quietly.

“Ye-yeah, you?” you asked, not tearing your eyes away. All you got was “hpm” in response. Moments later you got out of the foot space and sat down on the seat. Daryl sat on the divers side and started the truck when the other vehicles started driving off. 

Once a beacon of hope for your group, is now reduced to flames. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next // Coming Soon

Previous // A mad Scientist Gave Us Pasta

Taglist // @your-shifting-gurl, @underrated-jellygirl, 

// Masterlist //

[riftdancing]

99+ Notifications?!

99+ NOTIFICATIONS?! Tumblr what do you MEAN?? ALL I DID WAS SLEEP.

...And post my wrapped.

...And maybe a new screenshot of Siyoh.

We're not counting that last one.

Originally I had panned to try and respond individually to people, but the overwhelming amount of feedback and kind words on my wrapped has left me slack jawed and feeling many feels.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Thank you so much for your kind words and for appreciating my work.

There are a few key components to my work. Things I try very hard to keep in mind while composing a shot.

1.) Lighting: Especially in my after effects because it still has to match the original lighting of the screenshot. Which means things like rotating sun beams and making sure the reflection of light is bouncing off the right places. It probably helps that I did years of photography lessons with my Mother in real life before ever bringing this knowledge to the screenshot world.

2.) Pose anatomy & the illusion of motion in a still picture: Admittedly, its a hard thing to capture. I've been doing this sort of posing for years before FFXIV so I have lots of experience and first hand knowledge in knowing how bodies move and how muscles/joints connect. That being said, I still challenge myself every day to continue to progress in this area. Especially with occasionally pushing anatomy post where it goes realistically for the sake of exaggerated expression. Like how 2D animation will always show more expression than 3D, but I also feel like this is a difficult line to toe.

3.) Photo Angle and Scene Composition: Admittedly, I still struggle with this sometimes. In fact, if a screenshot doesn't get posted or chosen to be shown on tumblr or to other people, this is usually the culprit. I'm very picky about it. Sometimes I'll let a screenshot sit for hours and come back to it whilst trying to decide if I like the angle in which I captured the scene. I can think of at least five shots off the top of my head which didn't make it to the editing phase because of this. Loved the idea, hated the execution. Which is NOT to say I hate my work. I love my work. Even the stuff I don't post. But I believe its healthy to have your own sense of constructive criticism along side pride and love for your work. This is how we grow. I also might have deleted a few posts after growing frustrated with their final composition weeks after.

Here are a few examples of things which didn't quite make it to the cutting room floor or had their scene composition/posing revised into better shots. I still love them! I think some of them are great in their own ways, they just weren't particularly capturing what I was fully after.

So what does this bring me to?

Your comments. I am so overwhelmed.

All of your sweet comments touched on these three key points and I cannot express how warm and fuzzy that made me feel. It gave me such a HUGE sense of pride knowing I am able to accomplish what I set out to do. And I only ever want to continuously improve on that (and more)!

I'm going to set some new goals for myself in 2025. But all the kind tags was exactly the kind of motivational boost to keep me going in the new year and to continue to figure out new tools to enhance my skill set as I go.

Truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

[korshrimpski]

Coyotes Prospectules Primer

Now you may be wondering what is this? This is me trying my best to explain the dynamic between 5 coyotes players/prospects (i lost my mind while making this enjoy)

For this, they are still going to be called “coyotes” because utah hcers or clubbers doesn’t sound correct.

First of all, what is this? This is a primer explaining to you the dynamics going on for the younger coyote* players/prospects.

*when I started writing this conor geekie was still a coyote

Let's start with the basics: who is involved and who are these people?

Dylan Guenther: he was drafted 9th overall in the 2021 draft he’s a LW/RW. You probably know him for scoring the 2023 WJC team Canada golden goal.

Logan Cooley: drafted 3rd overall in 2022 and is a centre. Growing up he was in the Little Penguins program but was an Ovi/caps fan. You probably know him for his insane Australia pregame goal.

Josh Doan: 37th overall draft pick in 2021 and is a RW/C. He is the son of Arizona Coyotes legend Shane Doan. Destined to continue the Doan dynasty then Utah happened. Josh Doan is one of the only forms of nepotism I like and it was ripped away from me… hey Siri play, Rolling in the Deep by Adele because we could’ve had it all.

Conor Geekie: drafted 11th overall in 2022 and is a centre. He was recently traded to Tampa and I’m just… I’m sad. **

**I finished writing and editing it well after he got traded but I can’t be bothered to change this 😁👍

Maveric Lamoureux: drafted 29th overall in 2022 and is a defenceman. He’s a big man (6’7ft/201cm) with a big heart (WJC 2024 you wound me).

2022 Draft

This is where Logan Cooley, Maveric Lamoureux and Conor Geekie met each other. As previously mentioned, cools went 3rd, geeks went 11th and mav went 29th, all first-rounders. This draft was significant for the coyotes as these three finally set the foundation for the coyotes rebuild. Like of course Dylan was the main piece of the rebuild for a long time but with these three it finally stabilised the young future aspect of the coyotes rebuild.

Development camp was right after the draft so the three of them hopped on a plane to Arizona, Maveric had the aisle seat and was sitting next to Logan, across from Geekie.

INSTAGRAM: chirps/comments

the post | the comments

the post | the comments

2022 Coyotes Development Camp

This section will be brief because, for the life of me, I couldn’t find anything.

All 5 of them were invited for the week. 

Logan roomed with Josh. 

Conor got injured on the first day of camp and had to sit out the rest of it

Conor, Maveric and Logan did an interview together that was fun. I skimmed through it not really taking notes on the important things so instead you get to hear my favourite moments instead

Geekie used to play with the Arizona Coyotes on EA NHL being, "they're the team with the nice jerseys."

Logan's flight to Montréal (the draft) was cancelled twice so his family rented (an ugly) van and drove 8-10 hours. Logan slept most of the way.

Sidenote the the difference between all three accents is so fun because you'll be listening and it's a french accent then boom american

Conor looked like he was dying this whole interview, he looked like he was overheating and about to cry

2023 Coyotes Development Camp

Roommates: All 5 of the boys were invited to camp. Cooley and Geekie roomed together, I don't know who roomed with Dylan, but Josh roomed with Ilya Fedotov and Maveric roomed with Justin Kipkie. 

D-Backs: Logan was invited to throw the first pitch. Josh, Conor, Maveric and Dylan were invited to the pitch, while everyone else sat up in the box.

Before the game Conor was asked about Logan throwing the first pitch and if he would make it Conor had zero faith in Cools saying, “no, there’s no chance.” Obviously he said it jokingly.

The boys were also chirping him but I don't know what they said, sorry.

But don’t worry Logan did a good job and the boys were proud of him.

Also this clip, that i don’t know how to describe other than Logan making the boys giggle.

INSIDE ACCESS EP 203: Foundation for the Future: this is a video the Arizona Coyotes YouTube channel put out and is a look into what happens at development camp. A brief breakdown: (obviously focusing on those 5)

Day 1: Introductions; meet the staff, meet your peers, get to know the program and what’s going to happen

Day 2: testing + training

Day 3: community; this is where we get to see their personalities. This day player spend time with the community learning what it truly means to be an Arizona Coyotes

Josh Doan is amazing with kids (especially this moment), encouraging them and making sure they have fun. He also hypes up other guy in dev camp. Overall Josh Doan is a positive guy.

Maveric Lamoureux is also good with kids, not as loud as Josh but he was having a good time

Conor Geekie almost hits a kid on accident, but he was having fun building lego

Dylan Guenther is just not being shown, but he’s his (lowkey) awkward but reserved little self.

Logan Cooley also isn’t shown much either but he looked like he was having fun

This day the boys also learned how to cook (or as the nutritionist described it, putting the correct food into your body) 

Dylan and Logan were on the same team and Dylan looked s t r e s s e d.

Josh was being his usual extraverted self

Maveric was having fun getting up to the tiniest bit of mischief

Conor was also having fun, but wasn’t shown a lot in this section

This is also when they went to the d-backers game.

Day 4: Black + White Scrimmage;

Team white: Lamoureux, Cooley

Team black: Geekie, Doan

For the life of me i could not find what team Guenther was on

After the game in the handshake line, i just… just watch, I’m at a loss for words

INSTAGRAM: Chirps & comments

Side note: on the 7th (or 6th depending where you're from) of July 2024 Conor Geekie deleted all his Arizona posts except the draft, but luckily this photo and comment were saved.  

the photo | the comment (Utah i swear...)

the post | the comments:

TW// BLOOD

the post | the comment (I actually have zero idea if this comment is real or not because I can't find it under the original post but idc it's fun) (the second comment (the one on the right) is real)

2023 World Juniors

Dylan and Logan were both invited to world juniors by their respective countries. Dylan won gold (🇨🇦) and Logan got bronze (🇺🇸).

After the tournament was over Logan said this about Dylan

"He's a great player, and I'm really looking forward to be able to play on the same team as him." "Obviously Canada is a rival and I wasn't pumped to see them win, but if anyone had to score it, I'm glad it was him."

"...but if anyone had to score, I'm glad it was him."

making this a quote is necessary actually.

2023-24 NHL SEASON:

Hey! it's logan cooley's rookie season

Here's a list of every single time Logan Cooley and Dylan Guenther connected on a goal; throughout the season they were put on a line together, especially towards the end of the season.

Boston Bruins vs Arizona Coyotes: January 9, 2024: Guenther goal, Cooley Primary assist

Arizona Coyotes @ Florida Panthers: January 24, 2024: Cooley goal, Guenther primary assist

Arizona Coyotes @ Carolina Hurricanes: January 27, 2024: Cooley goal, Guenther primary assist

Arizona Coyotes @ Washington Capitals: March 3, 2024: Cooley goal, Guenther secondary assist

Arizona Coyotes @ Detroit Red Wings: Cooley goal, Guenther primary assist

Vegas Golden Knights vs Arizona Coyotes: April 5, 2024: Cooley goal, Guenther secondary assist

Seattle Kraken vs. Arizona Coyotes: March 22, 2024: Guenther OT goal, Cooley only assist (the kids won it in OT 🥹)

This game gets its own section: Arizona Coyotes @ Vancouver Canucks: April 10, 2024

First of all it was Dylan's birthday. Second of all this was the day the first report from sportsnet dropped saying the NHL has created 2 schedules one for Utah and one for Arizona. Other notes:

Dylan had a 4 point night (1G-3A)

On Dylan's goal Cooley was the first and only assist

The game heads into OT AND LOGAN COOLEY SCORES WITH A GUENTHER PRIMARY ASSIST WOOOO00! one one of the worst days to be a coyotes fan or just a coyotes player in general. THEY WON THE GAME TOGETHER!!! I did cry while watching this game thank you for asking.

March 26th 2024 one of the most important day in coyotes history: Josh Doan's debut!!!

Josh got his first goal (no one credited on the assist)

Then he got his second goal (be becomes the first and only arizona coyote to score 2 or more goals in their debut)

and then Dylan got a shot handed goal (no one credited on the assist)

Josh Doan first star of the night

2023-24 AHL SEASON:

Josh and Dylan both started the season as Tucson Roadrunners

Dylan Guenther was recalled to the coyotes Jan. 6th

Dylan was announced as the roadrunners all stars selection but he was in the NHL so the roadrunners sent Josh instead

Conor Geekie was also put on the roster but he never ended up playing a game for the Roadrunners in the regular season, instead he was playing in the WHL (Western Hockey League)

All the times Josh and Dylan connected on a goal:

Tucson Roadrunners vs Ontario Reign: November 10, 2023: Guenther goal, Doan primary assist

Tucson Roadrunners vs Bakersfield Condors, October 27, 2023: Doan goal, Guenther primary assist

Tucson Roadrunners vs Calgary Wranglers, November 21, 2023: Doan goal, Guenther secondary assist

Tucson Roadrunners vs Henderson Silver Knights, November 25, 2023: Doan goal, Guenther primary assist

Tucson Roadrunners vs San Jose Barracuda, December 1, 2023: Doan goal, Guenther primary assist

Tucson Roadrunners vs Bakersfield Condors, December 22, 2023: Doan OT goal, Guenther primary assist

Calder Cup Playoffs:

Michael Kesselring, along with Josh and Dylan were sent down to the AHL to play in the Calder Cup Playoffs, while the rest of the coyotes were in Utah doing the welcome to Utah thing.

Conor Geekie was loaned the the Roadrunners after the Swift Broncos were eliminated from the Memorial Cup Playoffs, and made his AHL debut the first playoff game against the wranglers

The Tucson Roadrunners ended up playing 2 games before getting eliminated by the Calgary Wranglers :/

The Tucson Roadrunners might have been shit in the playoffs but PHNX Sports podcast comes through a provides; Dylan Guenther, Josh Doan Ready For Tucson Roadrunners Playoff Run: Notes from Dylan's interview👇

(context: Dylan was asked but staying up in the NHL and taking advantage of his opportunity):

CRAIG MORGAN: ...when did you really start to feel like it (playing in the NHL) started to click, up there? DYLAN: ... take advantage of the opportunity. I got a pretty good opportunity heading in right away, like and uh that's just what I tried to do is to take advantage. So I felt like as I went on, I developed chemistry with, you know, with Cools. But also you know, a lot of the players, all the guys on the team and I was having a lot of fun doing it. I think that's a big important piece is having fun when you're playing to and I think that helped me.

Yes, that whole quote was necessary but I love that Dylan points out he developed great chemistry with cools then quickly added everyone else on. Other moments from the podcast:

Dylan enjoys cooking but he doesn't want it out there that he *might* be a good cook (this man hates being perceived). Then craig... oh craig, he said Dylan being a good cook will make Dylan a great bachelor. And I died of laughter

He loves to describe the team as driven and hungary

Notes from Josh's interview 👇

He was wearing a cowboy hat but sadly couldn't wear it for the interview because of the headset

Josh wanted to end the hockey season back down in the AHL which surprises people because people who are in the NHL don't want to be sent down. But Josh's reason is because he loves the game and the team and the boys mean so much to him. (Him loving Arizona and not wanting to leave goes unsaid)

Shane calls Josh a nerd

Then the host started chirping Josh about his cooking/him and his special steak. Josh calls his steak cooking ability, "one of his many trait at home."

Then he started chirping but also complementing Aku Räty, saying he's a good cleaner and smoothie maker

He says his job is to make the room stay light and positive

He also said that he went into the NHL saying to himself to be a nuisance on the forecheck 💀

Ten they started talking about arizona hockey and i got sad :( then the interview ends

2024 World Juniors

Maveric and Conor were invited to worlds by team canada and got 4th.

They did a the TNS promotional video “team Canada calls out their teammates for fun” where Mav bullied geeks for his knob because ofc have you seen it. Great banter.

2024 off-season

First off all how fucking dare they trade geeks LIKE?!??! HELLO??! UTAH??!? NO?? (as you can see it's been 2 months since the trade and i'm not over it)

The draft: Utah HC held a draft party where dylan and josh were signing autographs (it feels like sacrilege seeing them (epically josh) wearing utah gear) (sorry kid i just don't want you face on the internet)

INSTAGRAM: Chirps/comments

the post | the comment (UTAH GIVE HIM BACK 👹)

the post | the comment (context? no.)

the post | the comment

We save the best for last: Whatever this was

Context (ig??): at the start of the 2023-24 season after a few games Cools made a post thanking his friends family and anyone who helped him get to the going of where he is. It's really sweet then conor geekie commented his...

WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?? hello? context?? please,,

Anyways goodbye 👋

[aita-blorbos]

(going insane over this one post on normal aita so copypasting it here and editing it for my ocs LMAO)

AITA for telling my girlfriend that she's stupid for liking an objectively TERRIBLE film?

I (20M) and my girlfriend (20F) do a lot of “movie nights” together since I'm pretty big on film. We usually agree on what movie to watch, but we have pretty different tastes. I usually choose the movie, but as long as she doesn't choose something TOO unbearable I let her choose the movie (Her taste in cinema is below average.)

Earlier today, she reminded me that we haven't done a movie night in a while (probably because last time we argued for several days if skinimarink or texas chainsaw massacre was better like tcm isn't LITERAL torture porn). I agreed, and asked her if she wanted to watch anything in particular. (This is more of a pleasantry. He usually never suggests anything specific when I ask this.) Surprisingly, she said that she did have a movie in mind! Unfortunately, that movie was Avatar (2009). The one with the blue people.

After she said this to me, I laughed at her, because no one actually LIKES that movie. The best anyone can say is that it’s visually appealing! The plot is drawn out, bland, and not worth nearly three hours of my time. And that's just ignoring the colonialist themes and military propaganda (AN: both of my OCs here are in the military)! I asked her if he was serious about wanting to watch it, because I never took her for the type to enjoy something so dull. (She's a fan of big dumb action movies where you just turn your brain off, like Marvel or Star Wars.)

She said that she'd watched it a few times with her friends in high school and that she’d really liked it… and not just for the visual aspect? She said that she wanted to watch it with me too. She continued to justify it by bringing up the fact that I like other sci-fi movies and shows, and that he didn’t see how this was any different from those. Y'know, ones where there's actual ART and SKILL involved?

I told her that not only was Avatar unartistic, but how there was no reason for it to be so LONG. She starting whining and brought up when we'd watched Oppenheimer (she fell asleep because there just wasn't enough people fighting and quipping for her!) and the Lord of the Rings Extended Editions. Of course, those movies are actually GOOD, and when I pointed this out she just started arguing with me about what a "good" movie is and how I never let her pick any of the movies. I called her stupid for not recognizing how awful Avatar is and not recognizing taste when she sees it, and she got really mad at me.

I don’t think I’m wrong for telling her that Avatar sucks, considering it’s common knowledge, but calling her stupid might’ve crossed the line. Though I don't see how, considering how she calls herself stupid and all her friends call her stupid? Her being stupid is just a fact, she's a big dumb brute who everyone likes for some reason.

I don’t think I’m the asshole, but if I am, I’m definitely justified. Only reason I'm asking is because now all of her PSYCHO friends are threatening to beat me up. So, AITA for telling my girlfriend that she’s stupid for liking an objectively TERRIBLE film?

[buggledy]

Please continue liking/reblogging my silly posts I'm gonna vent about the two things going horribly wrong in my life rn because I can't talk about either of them publicly without making people very mad or uncomfortable.

ONE

I've been working on this collaborative project with some online... "friends" to some extent for about 2 months now. The deadline for my portion was mid-August. I am going on vacation this Saturday, I'm going to see Sarah Squirm 3 hours away on the 21st, and my irl friends who were involved in my portion return to school on the 19th. Naturally, I filmed it in early July and turned my cut in on the 19th A FULL MONTH BEFORE THE DEADLINE, AND BEFORE MY FRIENDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL. After several days, my "producers" (who aren't fucking paying me, this is a passion project. I don't think they should be using that title.) Finally said "Hey, we like your cut, but we have some small advice," and promised to get me on a call that week. It's been 10 days. I have *almost* no time to do reshoots, and I'll probably have to re-edit WHILE I'M AT THE BEACH, FOR A PROJECT I'M NOT BEING PAID FOR. And my cut is fine. I don't mind changing things, and it's not great (but at least on par with most of what they've done before...) but it's not so heinously bad that it *has* to be "fixed." I have told them my timeline, several times. There are likely to be continuity issues because it's 19 DAYS SINCE I FILMED ANYTHING AND MY HAIR GROWS FAST. Based on the little they've said, the pacing is gonna be FUCKED after I "fix" it. I'm so upset because I have historically liked these guys before, and I never wanna talk to them again at this point. Not to mention, I *HATE* dragging my real friends into this. They don't deserve it. They also aren't being paid. Very disenchanted by this whole thing. Like it's been so long that I consider the project finished. They are asking me to drag out a corpse and give it a makeover. AND I HAVE OTHER SHIT I WANNA GET STARTED ON BUT I'M STUCK IN THIS GODDAMN PURGATORY. Supposedly, they're gonna call this evening but idk how that's gonna go.

TWO

I had this friend. About 3 years ago, she reached the conclusion that I was obsessed with her and ended our friendship. Maybe she was right. I had a crush, sure, but what's obsessed? Maybe I'm just too autistic to know where the line is drawn as far as "feelings" go, beats the fuck outta me. It was early July, so naturally this is really the only time of year I think about her anymore. Besides passing references, simply because I refuse to gadlight myself into forgetting the good memories she just so happens to be in. This makes everyone around me uncomfortable, and they refuse to humor conversations the moment her name comes up. Hence why I have to talk about this here. I'm over her, but I miss talking to her every once in a while. She's cool. I have no idea what she thinks of me these days, thus, a problem arises. My friend & his boyfriend (the irl friends from the previous story) are moving back to the city she lives in within the year, and I'll return to my tradition of visiting them about once a month. Here's the thing: I feel antagonized in that city. Like I'm under constant surveillance by some secret society waiting for a perfect moment to hurt me (emotionally that is, this isn't like... extreme paranoia talking.) And thus, this is no longer an early July funk. She's on my mind a lot. I wish I could just walk up to her (or even message her, I'm still blocked) and be like "I'm coming to this city again. Once a month. We've gotta either hash this shit out, or agree to fully ignore each other in the event we encounter each other in public." But honestly, I just wish I could forget it. I wanna stop thinking about her, and being sad, and occasionally seeing her in dreams. I'd love to never have to think about her again, but my personality simply doesn't allow.

THREE

So also my grandpa died last year and his birthday is in July, so that's not been helping. Sometimes I'm a little overwhelmed by my friends because now that they know I'm never busy, they sometimes spontaneously ask me to hang out all day and that can be a lot. I'm also in the process of moving which is stressful enough, but I hate my current living situation so I wish I could just do it but honestly I don't expect to be in the new place by the end of the year.

Anyway, I like to drink liquor and all this shit is starting to make that a minor problem 👍

[waltwhitmansbeard]

hello! a few hours from now, the epilogue of go on, claim my heart, the my fair lady sequel, is gonna be posting, so i wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has stopped by my lil corner of the internet to read what has become my largest writing project to date. i had no idea what i was getting myself into when i first started writing mfl, especially not half a year of feverish, near-obsessive plotting and writing and rewriting this story that would not leave me alone. a lot of things fell to the wayside as i wrote mfl and gocmh, and i don't regret any of it, because i can safely say that this is the writing that i am the most proud of.

i want to thank @romeoandjulietyouwish in particular for her graciously allowing me to play in her sandbox. no one's mind works like lis's, and as i have said before, she comes up with so many fucking stellar ideas that she leaves crumbs for the rest of us, so i'm super grateful that she's so kind about letting us take those crumbs and make them our own. mfl wouldn't exist without you, lis, so thank you, thank you, thank you.

i also could not wrap this series without calling out the two best readers a girl could ask for, @ravendruid and @crispysnake. y'all are fucking unhinged, but it is the exact energy that every writer needs to keep going. i can't tell you the number of times a drabble or chapter posted that i wasn't particularly fond of that you two completely changed my opinion about. you two are the kindest, most enthusiastic, most generous readers, and i'm so lucky that you're also my friends. please continue to be absolutely batshit in my tags; it's the only thing that keeps me going.

(also @otterlycaleb made fucking ART about this shit, what the fuck what the fuck what the FUCK—)

a hopefully but probably not quick note about the future of mfl: today, like literally right now, i am in the middle of my first day of work at a brand new job, one that will require me to move my entire life halfway across the country, back to my hometown. it is big and scary and exhilarating and everything i've been hoping for, and i feel so, so lucky. this does mean that for the next little bit, while i learn a new job and pick up my shit and drive cross-country, i will probably be less able to write long or short fics, so i hope y'all don't mind me shutting up for the first time in forever. that being said, while i have absolutely no plans to write a third installment in the mfl 'verse, that doesn't mean there isn't more to say (as y'all will find out in like three and a half hours lol). i fully plan on still writing tmwiw drabbles set before, during, and after mfl/gocmh, and i will still be accepting prompts and requests for drabbles set in this 'verse until i say otherwise. mfl will always occupy an inordinate amount of my brain space, and i refuse to not share that with y'all.

additionally! starting very soon (like, maybe tomorrow? we'll see how busy i am, lol), i will be posting to ao3 the entirety of the mfl 'verse in chronological order. every chapter, one-shot, and drabble, in the order that they happened. another massive shout-out to @ravendruid for being my own personal lore-keeper on this; she read every single mfl chapter, tmwiw drabble, and one-shot to help me get this shit in order. the ao3 work will be titled i've come a long, long way (also from "my fair lady" by kaleo, are we seeing a pattern here?), and the plan is to post five chapters a day until the whole thing is up (although, again, with the moving this might get a lil wibbly wobbly). there will be some additional proofreading edits to these chapters (sometimes i can't spell!!) but nothing about the substance of these chapters will change, so this is just for people who like their stories to be told chronologically (fucking weirdos). this work will only be available on ao3, although it will be linked on my mfl masterpost.

ok, i think i am done for now. i have taken up enough of your time, in so many more ways than one. thank you again, if you read every single installment of the mfl saga or if you just read a paragraph. all of it means the world to me, and i know i never would have continued past the first chapter if i weren't part of such a wonderful, loving, generous, brilliant community. i've only been watching critical role for just over a year now, part of the fandom for even less than that, and i can't believe i haven't always had y'all in my life. please continue to love and support each other, and thank you for loving and supporting me.

[cherokeegal1975]

Today is the last day I'm reposting this video. I get it. It's not that great. I knew it had problems, which is why it's posted on YouTube and not on Audible like I originally intended.

When and if I can get the money, I'll hire an editor first, then a reader next. Neither are cheap, so it'll take me a very long time before I can get that project done. I'm struggling to find work. It's really depressing.

So, after over three thousand views, only six likes and people only clicking on my audiobook and only listening to the first half hour and then likely never coming back, I get the message loud and clear. You hate it. Okay, fine. I was just bored and needed something to do. So, after this, no more reposts. I'll let it die.

Even though I know it'll never happen, I still think if Netflix produced this book as a miniseries, it'll work. I'll continue to believe in it even if no one else will.

I'll give you one spoiler, you find out that my main character's pregnant in chapter five. Is that the problem? You don't like listing to the backstory of my main characters for two chapters? This is meant to be a full story, not some fetish fuel crap. If you want that, go to DeviantART. Guarantee you, most of it is awful...and mind numbingly stupid too.

I also believe in my works because I know when something's good. I have produced two art journals in the past and declare them not worth spending your money on. They were good learning experiences. It's not that the artwork in them is bad, it's that I didn't know what they'd look like in print and made a lot of mistakes. Including some drawings that I later regretted placing in my for sale art journal because it would've been best not to have them shown to the public. Nothing bad technically, but I generally try to keep my graphic artwork G-rated for the public so if someone standing next to me looks over my shoulder, I'll have no reason to be embarrassed. I'm applying the same principle to anything I post online. I only leave the journals available for sale because I worked on them. That's it.

So, no, I won't say something's good if I didn't believe in it, even if it's my own work I'm talking about. In fact, I'll be the first to strongly criticize it if I feel that I did a poor job. I see the flaws...some of them anyway. I could try to fix them myself, but I want a more objective point of view in the editing of my novels. So, I got this hands-off policy until I can afford some professional help for them. And also, if I didn't think my work had really good potential after it was edited, I'd never bother to try to share it with the public at all. I've written a story like that that I never finished. Later deleted it. It was great practice, but total crap and I knew it.

If you can find the time to listen to my book, I'd love an honest critique. I know it's not perfect...and I don't have any illusions that it's highly unlikely that anyone will write anything. Got a couple of people who wrote back, but they tend to be years between comments and barely say much of anything of what they think. Anything is appreciated though.

Then again, I bet no one will bother to read this.

[flambeaufelid]

Warrior Cats Chronological Liveblogging Masterpost

Edit: this project is no longer active. :/ hope to get back to it someday, but my hopes aren't high.

Hello, and welcome to my attempt to read through all of Erin Hunter's "Warrior's" (AKA "Warrior Cats") books, in the order shown here. I've previously read basically everything released before the third Dawn of the Clans book, so ~half of these wont be blind reactions, though it's been so long since I read these that I don't remember a lot of them well. Still, understand that this blog will often contain spoilers for books other than the one a post is about, as I reference future material!

Dawn of the clans:

The Sun Trail:

Prologue and chapter 1

...And that's all for now. Hit keep reading if you wanna hear why I'm doing any of this though.

Warrior cats means a lot to me.

Growing up, I had a strange relationship with reading. Until I turned about five and really tried to read a book for the first time, I was convinced that I hated reading. Then once I'd tried it, I loved it, but was convinced that I'd only be able to understand kids books or manga.

Of course, I was wrong. I was more capable than I thought. But bigger, more serious books... they were strangely intimidating to me.

So. One day, me and my sister are at swimming lessons, but there's enough of an age gap that we weren't in the same class. We'd both have to wait like half an hour for each other to be done.

I had made the mistake of not bringing anything to do. But my sister had.

Warriors books. But specifically, the manga.

Warriors having manga spinoffs is one of the weirdest marketing gimmicks ever, but it worked very well on me. A more traditional book might have scared me off.

With no other options, I picked up- if I remember correctly- Tigerstar Sasha book three.

For the record, this is an absolutely CURSED way to get into these books. It was so far disconnected from the main series that it was practically it's own thing. Not to mention it was the finale of this little spin-off.

Still, it was mildly entertaining.

And then a kitten fucking drowns.

That's fine. After all, there's no way they would really kill off a literal kitten. I continued reading.

But it never showed up again.

I reached the end of the book. Kitten still dead.

I leaned back on the uncomfortable poolside bench, mind fucking reeling. It was the most brutal thing I'd ever read. I felt a little sick to my stomach.

But, oh how I wanted more.

I proceeded to read every Warriors manga my sister had brought. Then every manga my library had.

This continued to be a cursed way to read this stuff. The clans are portrayed as distant, ambiguously villainous, and almost irrelevant. The characters the manga feature are fucking bizarre. They occasionally do weird things to the cannon.

But I loved it all. I wanted more.

But I didn't get more. I ran out.

There was no other option. If I wanted to read more Warriors, I'd have to read the books.

...I didn't start with the first one. But I got to it eventually. I got to them all.

I credit Warriors with making me truly love reading. It's a debt I cannot repay. The Erins are responsible for making me the person that I am today.

So it's a shame that. Uh. The books are...

....................not always very good.

In fact, Warriors kinda sucks sometimes. It's worldbuilding is nonsense, it's characters are idiots, and the books are so repetitive that there are tons of scenes you could take out of context, remove the names from, and then show me... And I'd have trouble telling you what arc they were from, much less what specific book.

I've tried to do this whole "read Warriors chronologically" like five times. I don't think I've ever gotten past sun trail.

The hope is that if I make this blog, maybe I'll be able to keep with it enough to get properly re-invested. Not to mention that one of my motivations for wanting to get back into the series is the distant idea that I'll write some fanfic- so, these posts can act as notes about things I found interesting, that I can possibly refer back to.

Also, I've heard some fucking crazy shit about the newer books I've not read. I so desperately want to know the details.

It's a long road I walk now.

[dragoninmypocket]

scar

note: This is part 3 of a (rather disjointed) series of ‘missing’ scenes from the books. While the parts can stand alone, I’ve thrown in some callbacks.  

Other parts:

part 1: stay

part 2: follow

part 2.5: promises

epilogue: after the storm 

content warnings: mental illness, panic attacks, blood

Lindal wakes to a scream, but there is nothing for her to fight. It is dark and still, and the night is not burning. Barda is whole and untouched beside her, holding out a hand.

She takes it, shaking slightly as the panic ebbs, and the visions of torn limbs and shrieking men fade.

“What-?”

A low sob from Barda’s other side and finally Lindal notices Jasmine is leaning over Lief, whispering softly. Lindal cannot see Lief’s face, but she can see the way his hands clutch desperately at Jasmine as his whole body contorts with fear.

Lindal has heard the rumours that the king was unwell, that he wandered the halls of the palace like a lost soul of Tora, that staff and guards had heard him shrieking and sobbing late at night. There is an evil in the palace, the streets had whispered. It will take our king and our hope and our country if we let it.

“He will be fine,” Barda murmurs, his voice tinged with pain and resignation. “Jasmine is used to it.”

“What happened to him?” Lindal asks softly. But Barda just shakes his head. It is not his story to tell.

* * *

“No kissing, you two,” Lindal says. “Brothers do not do that.”

Lewin and Jay scowl and blush red. Laughing, Lindal turns to Berry. He looks strangely vulnerable without his beard but his smile is still the same. His nephews look away politely as he kisses her.

“I will be back,” he whispers, promises. “Wait for me.”

Four days after she sends Lief, Barda and Jasmine off on the back of a dragon, Lindal hands her room key to the tavern owner, shoulders a bag filled with her belongings, and begins the long walk to Del.

* * *

Jasmine dreamed of this sometimes, alone and in secret. She imagined that one day she might be here, sitting on Lief’s chest with her legs tight on his hips and her hands on his face. His eyes lock on hers as he arches and moans, but the wind is howling and the air is dense with poison and not like this, never like this, no no no please…

“Lief-” she sobs. A trickle of blood rolls down his neck and his hands grip her wrists, desperately trying to push her away. “Lief, I am sorry, I am so sorry-”

Quill had called for him- you are one of us now. But she will not let them have him. He is not theirs.

Eleven…

* * *

Lief looks at her through his new mask of blood. “It is not your fault, Jasmine.” He tries to smile, though it makes the wounds around his mouth stretch and sting. “And it does not matter anyway. I cannot even remember it.”

Jasmine smooths the green cream onto his face, trying not to let him see the terror in her eyes. She wonders whether she will ever be able to forget. Whether she will ever be able touch his face without remembering his screams, and the time she hurt him so badly he could no longer remember who she was.

* * *

Standing alone, turning to face the Masked One, Lief cannot feel anything anymore- his courage and his heart have died, and his body will be glad to join them.

* * *

There are still fresh pink scars splotching across his jawline and up his neck. Another snakes along his hairline above his right eye, visible only when he pushes back his hair.

“I am sorry,” she whispers.

“What for?”

“I did this to you… I scarred you.”

Lief smiles. “No, you saved me.” His face carries the proof.

* * *

Prin screams, Barda yells at her to stay, and all of a sudden Jasmine is seven years old again, helpless and alone, watching as her family is stolen from her.

* * *

Sharn’s outstretched arms fall. The girl her son loves is standing alone. Her face is white with fear, red with tears, black with horror.

Into Sharn’s mind comes that night six months prior, when Lief told her that she was to go to Tora. She had protested, vigorously. She knew something was wrong, even if Lief had not yet admitted it. She could see it in the tremble of his hands, hear it in the croak of his voice. She could feel the anxiety crackling off Jasmine like the sparks of a blazing fire. But Lief had refused to hear any arguments. “You must go, Mother, and I must stay here. It is our duty,”

“My only duty is to you!”

“You know that is not true.” His eyes were so full and aching. It scared her sometimes, just how much her son could feel.

“No, please… sunshine…” she had whispered desperately, his childhood nickname, the word she sang over and over on those nights in the forge when chaos reigned outside. When the darkness had taken her parents and her life and her name, and the baby in her arms was the only light left in the world. “Sunshine, I-”

“I hope you have a safe trip, Mother,” Lief had interrupted her, clasping her hands. “Write me a letter to let me know when you have arrived.”

He had kissed her forehead, and a thought had caught in Sharn’s mind, and held. I will never see him again.

“Jasmine?” she whispers. “Jasmine, where is my son?”

* * *

Jasmine’s dreams are so empty they suffocate her, but when she looks out to sea she knows he must still be alive. Why else can she feel her soul tugging and pulling at the places she has stitched it to his? 

On the seventh day Marilen grips her arm, her whole body seized with grief. “Jasmine… they are dead. You know that. You must know that,”

“Lief is not dead,” she whispers. “If he was… I would feel it.”

Marilen closes her eyes. The people of Tora share their thoughts, and the city is somber. Outside their walls, Deltora goes on, unaware that tragedy is about to crash around their heads. Doom refuses to declare anything until they know for sure. In many ways he and Jasmine are alike.

She knows what will happen- what has to happen. They will lay Lief’s body before Jasmine and she will inspect it. She will lay her head on his chest to check for a heartbeat. She will call his name softly, shake him, and beg him to wake up. And then, only then, will she accept that Lief is dead. 

It does not seem right that Marilen is to take Jasmine’s place, when Jasmine was born to be their queen.

* * *

Jasmine breaks free of the others and she and Lief fall to their knees together in the sands of the Sleeping Dunes, hugging and crying and kissing.

“Well hello to you too,” Barda growls, a smile on his face. Still sobbing, she flings her arm around him, drawing him into the hug.

Later, they rest together under a tent in the Sleeping Dunes, and while Lief sleeps, using Jasmine’s lap as his pillow, she looks at Barda and knows how he dreams of this for all of them- peace, all they have ever wanted.

* * *

He understands the way Laughing Jack looks at her (pulsing desperation and anger), he sees the way he holds her (tight against his body), he hears the way he speaks (dare and threat, rolled into proposition) and Lief’s blood runs cold.

* * *

Barda and Jasmine are arguing about Torans and plots and trust, but Lief’s mind is filled with other matters. As soon as Barda leaves he pulls Jasmine towards him and kisses her frantically, desperately. He is only eighteen and about to die but for a moment he thinks maybe the whole world might have stopped. Perhaps nothing matters anymore but this. She touches his face and she is not afraid.

When he breaks away his eyes are glistening with tears. “You are not going to die,” she promises him, and she promises herself. I am not going to let you die.

* * *

They disregard the order of the king because Barda would never consider not following, and Jasmine understands love in a single word.

* * *

But now Jasmine is choking. Behind her eyes, covered in slime, she can still see him hunched by the ragged carcass of the platform. He had looked at Gla-Thon with eyes as bitter and hate-filled as those which had once stared at her from a feathered mask, and Jasmine knows that it is over.

She cannot see or breathe or scream but she can still hear the wind and the dragons and all of Deltora is howling in despair that theirs has turned against them. She does not want to hear it anymore. She hopes that death will come soon. She hopes that Mamma will be there to greet her.

I will destroy you…

A lurch, a jolt, and suddenly the world comes rushing back into focus as instinctively, painfully, she gasps in the chilled air of the chapel. Wildly she turns and watches as the black slime eagerly surges forward, and disappears into the shattered floor.

“Lief? Lief!”

He is gone. And there is only one place he could be. 

“Where is he Jasmine?” Barda shouts. He cannot see. He cannot see. He cannot see. “Jasmine- do not follow him Jasmine!”

* * *

His mother reaches out with still-shaking arms and envelopes him.

“You are alive,” Lief murmurs quietly into her shoulder, almost surprised.

“We both are,” Sharn replies. Her eyes grow concerned, and she brushes his matted hair back from his forehead. “What happened, my darling?” she says, running a gentle finger across his mottled scars.

“Jasmine saved me.” It is all he needs to say, all he will ever need to say. Sharn smiles, and embraces Jasmine too.

* * *

She thinks they are safe, and the future is theirs to create, but then Lief walks back into the room with a hand full of map pieces and news of the world’s end and Jasmine wonders if they will ever be allowed to be happy.

* * *

They slide, shaky-legged, off Fidelis’ back. Before them, in the shadow of Steven’s caravan, their friends stand speechless, looking at them with a look of awe that Jasmine does not like.

Lief mumbles something incoherent. He is still clutching them both tightly, like he will never let go. He looks like he might collapse, his face confused and his eyes blank. Barda and Jasmine look at each other in concern, and Jasmine squeezes Lief’s hand. “Lief?”

He turns to them, his teeth chattering in the cold night air. “I… thank you. I do not know how-”

Smiling, Barda puts his arm around him. “We were always in this together, were we not? Remember what we said, right at the start? Fate decreed we would be three.”

“Clever fate,” Jasmine grins.

Barda looks at their intertwined hands, the way Jasmine looks at Lief. “Clever fate indeed.”

Lief leans into Barda, pulling Jasmine closer to him, and they stand in the light of the full moon watching the dragons take to the sky. 

* * *

One of Jasmine’s favourite memories is six weeks after the first Dragon Night. She is sitting on the grass of the palace gardens, under the dappled shade of an old tree. Lief sits beside her, humming softly to himself, some Del folk tune. He tilts his head upwards towards the sun, closing his eyes briefly as he smiles. His eyes are not dark and his face is not lined with pain. It is such a beautiful day.

* * *

Sometimes Sharn cannot help but wonder whether this whole mess was just their fate, that everything (Endon and Jarred, the Shadow Lord, the Quests), happened this way only so they could find each other, for Lief and Jasmine together can change the world. And that is why when she looks at Anna, she does not see their child- she sees validation.

note: I have been writing this fic in scraps and pieces for years and years, and I am so happy that this wonderful fandom finally motivated me to put it all together and finish it! Thank you for reading.

[sunshinemarauder]

I posted 547 times in 2022

182 posts created (33%)

365 posts reblogged (67%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sunshinemarauder

@thequibblah

@crimson-snitch

@dear-anathema

@silly-little-writer

I tagged 496 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#kat recs - 111 posts

#asks - 78 posts

#text - 56 posts

#not hp - 37 posts

#anon - 32 posts

#nqa - 30 posts

#snippet - 28 posts

#fanart - 25 posts

#ask game - 24 posts

#ct tag game - 20 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#i am driving a car but i don't know how to drive. and somehow i have to drive and maneuver without crashing but the car won't stop moving.

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

—NEVER QUITE AWAKE, a three-parter, coming soon!

Before he turns to go, he pauses, lips parting, and says—

“Whatever you do? Don’t break his heart, Evans.”

And then he’s gone.

PLAYLIST

See the full post

81 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

#4

Take Two - jily fic

read on AO3

December Winter Tropes @jilychallenge, partnered with @prettymachete! PROMPT: "my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and oh my gOD i’m sO sorry"

Lily turns off her phone with a  click.  Flaming red heels snap against the pavement as she steps out of her car, tucking the cellphone into her purse and suppressing a shiver against the biting cold.

In front of her stands a towering, handsome building with rustic brick wall, a navy-blue arched doorway, and not one or two but  three  balconies on each of the floors.

Perhaps she’d read the address wrong, she muses, but immediately tosses that idea down the drain. After all, she’d just double-checked Euphemia’s message, and this — this  behemoth  of a house — is, indeed, 655 Archimedean Way. A regal name for a regal building.

Not for the first time, Lily wonders why she accepted Euphemia’s invitation in the first place. Sure, she’s known Euphie for nearly a year now and she’s been the loveliest boss Lily’s ever had —  and  she’s the reason Lily has her job in the first place — but only a madwoman would show up to Christmas lunch hosted by an elderly woman she hardly knows.  Even  if she has nowhere else to go.

But it’s far too late to back out — not to mention she’d promised Euphemia more than once that she would be there — so Lily takes a deep breath, bracing herself, and walks up the winding path to the doorway.

She hardly raps on the door knocker — an ornate peacock — once before it swings open and she’s face to face with...

“James Potter?” Lily blurts out.

continue reading

93 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

#2

you're the tom to my jerry (fic)

Unknown Number: hello lily evans i have an urgent question for you

As long as Sirius Black doesn't win, anything is game.

iMessage Chat

Lily Evans, Unknown Member

*****

Unknown Number: hello lily evans  i have an urgent question for you  wait shit  i just realized that sounded really creepy let me try that again  hi lily i’m james, unfortunately the brother of your coworker sirius black, and we met last friday when i came to pick him up from his work because my brother is an idiot who forgot to fill gas and somehow ended up with an empty tank an hour before he was expected for dinner at my mum’s  and my urgent question hinges entirely off of whether you prefer sriracha or soy sauce in your rice   so maybe... it’s not that urgent

Lily Evans: Seven messages first thing in the morning on a Sunday?  Maybe I really am popular. 

continue reading

112 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hello

I was wondering which of your stories have a desi James?

hello!! almost all of my fics include a desi james (half, on euphemia's side) even when not mentioned explicitly (though there's usually some mention of brown skin). the one exception, off the top of my head, is Take Two, where james is half-greek and white.

however, a fic where I explicitly refer to/incorporate james's indianness is You're Worth Splinching For, in which he is half-Marathi! despite me not being Marathi LOL

EDIT: another one that totally slipped my mind is this drabble with james as an indian immigrant!

one of these days I will write something in which I can properly explore his identity as indian! and when I do, you best believe I'll never shut up about it!

until then, I recommend these amazing fics by authors who wrote desi!James:

blink three times by @thequibblah (and other assorted fics by her including the 700k word epic Come Together, for which this is an extra w/ negligible spoilers)

Nine Days - an adorable Navaratri WIP by @alstroemeriablack

everything by aheartcalledhome (including the "rewrite potter" series in which it's HP but jily lives and james is indian) but especially on james potter and his impeccable singing voice, which legit made me cry

although I have not read this yet, apparently @fetchalgernon and @ghostofbambifanfiction have written James in (The Completely Unwilling Participants on) The Bachelor as Indian!

tamilprongspotter and mashallahmangoes if you can find their work anywhere

bonn's Everybody Needs A Nervy B Now And Then, also have not read b4 but will read asap!

october31st1981 on FFnet and prongsmydeer on tumblr! there are a bunch of drabbles not on her FFnet on her tumblr

the lovely @jilyism and @alittlebitofeverything23, AKA mi and shreya!

As you can see, there are LOTS of fantastic authors who write an Indian James! Please shower their writing with love!

If you have written Indian James or know fics that have it, PLEASE put the links in the reblogs! Maybe this can become an Indian James masterlist 😂

137 notes - Posted March 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[shelby-love]

KELLY SEVERIDE

Skeletons and Whatnot.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): none

Author’s note: I feel like this is rubbish, but I also feel like it’s not. 50/50 (1.6K words - might come back to edit it tomorrow)

Also you can see how tired I am (it's 4:30AM) I mean what is this title??? GOOD NIGHT.

~

"That's not possible. Check again."

"But I already did! Like a million times!"

"Adam, I swear to God-"

"Alright, alright…" Your colleague mumbled, turning on his chair to run the data yet again.

While he sat on the chair, looking through files he didn't have a clue about, you were leaning against the wall and shaking in your boots. Your heart hammered and your palms felt clammy.

Not possible. I killed him.

"No look it says right there," Adam declared; proud of himself for being able to gather information like this on his own. "Some girl named Lucy Riggs pawned a gun she got off some guy named Jon Prescott.

You squinted your eyes at the information that made no sense. "Get to the point."

Adam visibly swallowed, "Turns out the guy's name isn't Jon. Shocker. It's actually Parker Torres."

Your blood ran cold at his words. A million thoughts raced through your head. You wondered where he was, what he was doing… The questions that evaded your mind are usually normal, but here, when you thought about the dark man of your past, the questions seemed to be anything but normal.

"What about the gun?"

Adam clicked away until a picture of a metallic gun popped out. "Smith & Wesson Model 64 revolver."

Next thing you knew, a chain of vulgar profanities escaped your mouth, and you couldn't stop them. Ruzek's eyes widened ever so slightly at your lack of composure. "Mind telling me what this all about?"

You took a deep breath. "My skeleton escaped the closet."

***

The lack of information you found within the last couple of days was mind blowing. The only lead you had was the gun that wasn't even in your possession, having gotten lost in a misfit of undocumented sales.

Lucy wasn't of help either. The poor girl just wanted to get rid of her husband's gun, saying everything but useful information along the way. "If he wants a gun, then he better get a good one… A new one too! I don't want that piece of garbage in my house. God only knows who used that gun!" Lucy told you, just 48 hours ago. Those exact same words.

She was right about one thing.

That dammed gun went through so many hands and took double more lives.

And you didn't even have a lead.

"You look like crap," Kevin Atwater teased, handing you a steaming cup of coffee.

You didn't even manage to smile, looking at him through your shades that were, so far, doing a great job at concealing the bags under your eyes from the world.

"Rough night?"

"Mhmm."

Kevin didn't know that you no longer lived with Kelly. The temporary solution to your problems turned out to be moving back to your own place. Putting Kelly in harm's way, no matter how much he thought otherwise, was something you didn't want to do. The comfort of his bed and body were replaced by a thin blanked and an uncomfortable dining chair.

Dozens of glass decorations were laid out all over your apartment. On every window still, next to every door… On every surface, really. You slept on the dining chair 5 yards from your front door with a pistol strapped to your back, a shotgun under the chair and a rifle wrapped around your two arms, acting as a teddy bear for every time you dozed off.

Friends from Interpol would call here and there, with nothing more than sad news.

Hank Voight was pulling out every contact from his little notebook, but not even they could solve your years long case.

You wanted to throw up.

"Hey Kev."

"What's up?"

"You still friends with that FBI agent?"

***

"Second floor clear," The grip on your radio loosened after the second you needed to inform your team about your situation had passed and you moved on upstairs. You could hear them respond in the same matter as you held your gun with both hands and carefully climbed up the stairs.

You didn't let a sound slip your lips as you trekked the stairs up to the very last floor, save for the attic. For a drug house, everything was eerily quiet. It didn't feel like someone left in a hasty hurry.

It felt like as though there was no one there in the first place.

Your need to report that to your Sergeant faded away quickly once you saw smoke. It seized your full attention within a few seconds.

Smoke grenade was your first guess. Nasty things but nothing new.

That was, until you took several steps closer and the smell of the source journeyed through your nostrils. It clicked in your head immediately. Three years of being a squad lieutenant's girlfriend can do that to you. The scent of fire is nauseating and sweet, putrid and steaky, or something like leather being tanned over a flame. The smell  of it can be so thick and rich that it's almost a taste. Kelly's words rung in your head, and  you pulled your radio to your mouth.

"Call CFD! There's a fire on the third floor!" You informed, shielding your eyes. "Stand down! I repeat –"

Things went black after those words.

***

"We have a detective trapped on the third floor," Voight informed the first responders. "That's where the fire started."

Wallace nodded, "Squad 3, take the third floor."

Unlike Wallace, who had found his source of information in Voight, Kelly Severide had found it in Jay, who stood on the street visibly stressed. "Jay where's Y/N?"

Jay frowned, "She went to scope ahead. She was on the third floor when the whole place just blew up…"

"She could be unconscious right now," Kelly muttered. "Squad 3 let's go!"

Kelly Severide was already in the burning building when Chief Boden found out just who was trapped upstairs. "Dammit."

***

"Y/N?!"

Kelly's patience was thinning by the second. Knowing that his time is limited and that the place could blow in a stronger matter at any moment, he paced toward your unconscious body expeditiously.

Noticing the angry streak of blood that came from your nose had his heart in his throat. You were twisted in a way not normal for a human body to be in, catching him off guard the moment he laid his eyes on you.

Despite all that, Kelly still swooped in to grasp your limp body in his arms.

The stress of the last few days he went through didn't come close to a match with this very moment. "I'm coming down chief!"

For a moment Wallace wanted to bark back, but he bit his tongue. Love makes people do crazy things.

He knew that better than anyone.

"Get the hoses ready!" Boden announced and turned to the Intelligence.

"She'll be okay."

***

You were okay.

Maybe even better than you thought possible.

"Kelly wake up."

You smiled cheekily at doctor Mannig, who stood by your hospital bed, waiting for Kelly to wake up with the same thin line of patience as you.

You woke him up with a slap to his shoulder.

Natalie was beaming, her eyes sparkled despite the fact that she was the doctor to the most heavily guarded patient in the whole city of Chicago. "I think congratulations are in order."

"What do you mean?"

She winked before handing you the tablet, "You're 11 weeks along Y/N. Congratulations you two."

You shook your head wildly and pressed a palm to your mouth, acting out what your defense mechanism wanted you to do. "Oh God…"

"Really?" Kelly asked next to you. He had already grabbed your hand and gripped it tightly, holding you to the ground of your new reality. "Are you for real?"

She nodded, "The tests don't lie. I'm so happy for you two."

Natalie hugged you both closely before disappearing back into the crowded ER.

"Hey," Kelly murmured, grasping your chin with his index finger and thumb. "What's wrong? You're not happy? I thought…"

You shook your head immediately, stopping him from saying something that was untrue. "No, Kelly… I'm really happy."

Two heartbeats within one body. Your body.

A child that was going to take after you and the man you loved most in this world…

You felt so incredibly lucky at that moment.

Yet so guilty.

"Our baby could've died today…"

Fresh onset of tears attacked your eyes, pushing through until the moisture was dripping down your face, and you tried to muffle the hiccups with your hands. Everything started to make sense.

"Baby you didn't know…" He tried to calm you.

You shook your head violently, dropping his attempts into the water. "I should've known better. We didn't use protection... Then I felt so sick last week."

"Y/N-"

"But I was so obsessed with Parker Torres that-" You couldn't even finish the sentence because the guilt turned into anger. "God I'm so stupid!"

"Babe, look at me," Kelly's voice hardened yet the hands with which he cupped your face were gentle and comforting. "You didn't know, so none of this is your fault. If you knowingly went in there that's when it would have been your fault."

He kissed your tears away and gave you the softest smile ever. "Do you want to have this baby with me? Because if you don't, we can…"

You stopped him with a kiss.

You were venerable in the moment of the kiss, yet you never felt more at home. In this kiss is the promise of years of love and the sweetness of life. No one mattered at that moment. Not Parker… Not anyone. Only you two and the vow you just shared.

The next few weeks will be hard, that much you knew. You were introduced to a new reality and priorities shifted. The hunt for your skeleton will continue in the hands of the people you trust most and as months go by the light will greet the darkness of your tunnel.

But the next few years, you see nothing but light and happiness.

No skeletons to torture your life, but a baby and a soulmate to make it better.

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MASTERLIST

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ A MIRACLE ❜

with Angel Reyes.

Warnings: none, just a lot of fluffiness.

Word count: about 1.5k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to the author.

Masterlist.

You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

“Where you at, mi dulce?”

“I'm with Pop”.

“He okay?”

“Kinda like. He called me because he wasn't feeling good. Stomach ache. But, don' worry. I prepared him a good dinner. Why don' you come with EZ?”

“Yeah, okay. We're on our way”.

Hanging up the call, you frown at Felipe, who is not paying attention to your indications, setting the table with some grunts. Rolling your eyes, you walk towards him to take the cutlery off from his hands.

“Pop, sit down, please”.

“I wanna help, mija”.

“You help me sitting down”. Chuckling, you continue the task, hearing him complaining in murmurs. “Your boys are coming too”.

“Good”.

Coming back to the kitchen, you take a spoon of soap to taste the salt in it. It's perfect and the smell is simply delicious. You couldn't imagine almost a year ago that you would be the connection between the three Reyes, after what Angel told you about his family. With your eyes fixed on Marisol's urn, you can't help but pucker your lips with a soft smile on them. She would be proud. And you would have liked to meet her. Your boyfriend always says that she would have loved you, and you can't agree more. Sometimes you find yourself talking to her about her family, about what they have done through the day, or even about you. You understand Felipe. You understand why he does it. Sometimes it helps, feeling like if she actually was listening to you.

Bringing the saucepan to the table, placing it over a wooden board, taking off the cover to put it aside. Felipe leans forward, getting a whiff from it with both eyes closed. The pleased humm in his throat makes you know that he is delighted.

“Smells good, mija”.

“Tastes better, you'll see”. Palming his shoulder, you turn to the window next to the main door.

The characteristic sound, which you are used to living with, is increasing as the motorcycles drive through the neighborhood until parking in front of the house. Going to the entrance, you wait for them resting your body against the frame. Getting off from their bikes, EZ smirks at you when he's able to hug you tightly, upstairs. Pecking your cheek, he comes inside to greet his grumpy father. In the meantime that your boyfriend embraces you closer, resting his forehead over your chest, curving a little his back.

“Been all day without seeing you”. He mutters, raising his face to reach your lips.

A softly and slow kiss caresses them, taking his time to enjoy your warmth, wrapping him with both arms.

“You missed me?”

“A lot, mi angelito”. You say with a honeyed tone of voice. “C'mon. Dinner is gonna get cold”.

“Yeah”. He nods.

His heavy steps go straight to his father, placing a kiss on top of his head.

“What's up, Pop?” Angel asks sitting at the table, by his left.

“Jezz, it smells so good, (Y/N)”. EZ says, waiting for you to serve the soup. “What's in it?”

“Rice and chicken. A classic”. You reply very proudly.

When the dinner is finished and the younger Reyes has taken charge of cleaning the kitchen, you share some beers in the living room watching a movie. Ezekiel is now lying on the recliner next to Pop's couch, while your boyfriend and you are sharing the sofa behind them. You actually aren't paying attention to the TV. Facing each other, with a leg over his, your arms are tangled on his neck and his on your waist. You love that sofa because, even if it's a little small for you two, that let you be so, so close. Traveling one of your hands to his right cheekbone, you caress it with your fingertips before touring his dense beard covering the line of his jaw. Angel has his eyes closed, peacefully breathing, but awake. Just enjoying your displays of love. Almost one year, and you keep falling for him every day a little more.

Bowing slightly, you press his cheek with your lips, leaving soft and shorts kisses not wanting to disturb his calm. But you kiss every single inch of his face; his temple, his forehead, the bridge of his nose, the tip of it, his chin. Until reaching his lips. At first, it's just an ephemeral taste. The beer on them gets mixed with your. He licks himself slowly, drawing a light smile on them waiting for another one. Touching his nose with yours, you kiss him again. His arms hold you a little closer, a little tightly, needing your proximity. You two look like two teens under EZ and Pop's eyes, who smile delighted looking at each other. And there's nothing sexual there. You could spend hours kissing him, just enjoying his tongue playing with yours and running out of air, to end up laughing. Your hand caresses his throat, while your lips continue dancing with his in a romantic and a measured improvisate choreography. You can feel his warm breathing, through his nose, colliding to your skin. With your leg around his waist, you push him so much closer until there's no distance between your chests.

You don't know how you have been living without him all your life. Angel either. Everybody says that you're like the light that illuminated his darkness, that he has changed since you met, to a small extent. Now he's more well-balanced. He thinks before acting. And he is mostly wearing a kind smile, good-humored. You know all his secrets, all his fears, all his insecurities; and for Angel is amazing how, knowing everything about him, you are still loving him without judging. Helping him to be his best version. Not only that, but helping him to have a close relationship with Felipe. That man is pig-headed to the limits, but he appreciates and loves you since the moment Angel introduces you. He is the first one who began to see the change in his son.

When your lips get separated in a clingy way, as if they were stuck, Angel is looking at you with a gaze full of love. Hiding his face on the gap of your neck, he takes a long deep breath of your scent, putting his lips there to kiss your skin so gently that gives you some nice chills. Your fingertips stroke his scalp, while he looks for some more calm.

“How I have been so lucky to find you?” You whisper into his ear, feeling his mouth curving in a fleeting smile. Just for a moment.

“I'm the lucky one, mi dulce”. He replies without hesitation, and a purr fixed in his throat. “Te amo”.

“Y yo a ti, mi angelito”.

Molding your body to his and resting your head over the cushion, you close your eyes. After a long day at the hospital, you are so tired that you don't care to fall asleep there. And it doesn't take you too much time, focused on Angel's breathing and his hands caressing your back. The only thing you feel after that, as if it was part of your dreams, is the brief weight of a blanket covering you two and a kiss on your forehead. Tightening your arms around your boyfriend by inertia, you continue immersed in your sleep.

Waking up bit by bit, hearing some noises inside the kitchen, you turn on the sofa. Angel isn't there anymore. Ezekiel and Felipe either. Getting up and stretching your back and arms, you walk barefoot following their voices.

“... and sometimes I find her talking to your mother”.

“How's tha'?” Angel whispers a little confused, having a sip from his mug.

“Yeah. When she's here, she talks to her. About you, about me, about your brother”. Felipe explains. “I really like her for you, mijo. She cares about you”.

“I know, Pop”.

“Good morning”.

Coming into the kitchen, after some seconds of silence, the three men turn at you to greet you.

“Buenos días, Marisol”. You mumble, slightly touching the urn, before continuing to kiss every man there.

Sitting on Angel's lap, you steal his coffee to drink it, hiding a delighted smile against the porcelain.

“You slept well?” He asks, placing a kiss on your shoulder. You just nod, putting an arm behind his neck. “Good… Plans fo' today?”

“Nothing, actually. Got a day off. Maybe I'll go to see Bishop. He told me that he needs some help with one of Vicki's girls”.

“Hm”.

“Feeling better, Pop?” Turning to the old man, he smirks at you. “Not lying to make me leave?”

“Not lying, mija. Your soup was like a miracle”.

“She is a miracle, papa”. Angel replies, rolling his eyes as if it wasn't obvious.

“And more like a trouble when she gets drunk”. Ezekiel laughs loudly, probably referring to the last Mayan party where you drank too much and maybe you lost control a little.

“Shut up, prospect”. Hitting his shoulder, you end up laughing too. “Anyway, call me if you feel sick again, okay? Got nothing important to do today”.

“I will keep it in mind, mija”.

✨ Tag list:

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[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

Too Daze Gone (Joe x Reader)

(Happy birthday to me! You’re all going to suffer. This is a little something that I wrote over 2 1/2 years ago based on a concept that I thought of three years ago; one of the first ideas I ever had for a Def Leppard fanfic. I made some very minor edits to it ((since I’m not 17 anymore)), and honestly, this is still one of my favorite things that I’ve ever written. But I know you guys are gonna have my head for it later...)

Prompt: It’s December of 1989. You and Joe are recently married, the world has now officially entered the post-Hysteria era, and- well...

-----

December 1989

The soft morning sunlight was seeping through the plane’s window right next to you. Joe’s head was resting on your arm, and you used your opposite hand to stroke his hair soothingly. He had one hand on his stomach, along with his green eyes closed and shut away from the world. The plane was flying steadily now, but your minds were anything but steady at the moment. There was so much to say, but no place or time to say it. It was almost as if you two were having a telepathic conversation; there was so much thinking between you both, yet nothing was being said.

“You alright, Joe?” the voice of a London guitarist broke your attention from the window. He’d strolled over to the seats where you and the man in question were sitting, and let his concern get the better of him.

There was far too much concern going around today, so Phil's question was rather unnecessary.

“Oh, he’s fine,” you answered sweetly, knowing that Joe didn’t want to answer, and also not wanting to give Phil any hint to your invisible nerves, “He’s just feeling rather sick is all.”

Phil sighed, “Ah, yeah, the turbulence wasn't the greatest.”

You decided to go along with Phil’s theory of why Joe wasn’t feeling well. After all, it was believable.

“Yeah, we haven’t been awake that long, either. You know how he can be in the morning. He’s just sick of the day, really,” you lightly joked. Today was not necessarily a good day for jokes. There was a deep, underlying sadness beneath the surface of everybody's tone no matter how much they joked around.

“Oh, so he’s got morning sickness, I see?” Phil joked along, trying to lighten the universally tense mood, “Well, congratulations on the pregnancy, Joe.”

Your heart jumped and you forced a chuckle at the statement. You felt Joe’s heart jump, too.

“Thanks, Phil,” Joe cracked a gentle smile for him as he walked away. You could feel how forced the smile was as Joe slowly reached out and squeezed your hand. He was definitely more worried than you.

“Shh, I know. I’m worried, too,” you whispered to him so quietly that you could barely hear yourself, “But we’ll deal with this later.”

~18 hours earlier~

You weaved your hands together with the utmost anxiety as you waited for Joe to get back from a small trip to the supermarket. As you waited, there was no stopping the racing thoughts in your mind. Once one thought appeared and rooted itself within you, it was impossible to keep it from rolling into a snowball of others. It was driving you absolutely mad on the inside. Keeping calm on the outside, however, came rather easily. It almost felt like second nature at the moment. Of course, you knew that was all going to change the second Joe got back.

Everything was going to change the second Joe got back.

When he did come back, you immediately stood up and went over to him, trying to be casual and lighthearted.

"Hey! How was the store?" came the greeting from you. Your voice was nearly on the verge of breaking from the tension of the whole situation.

"A fucking treat," he grumbled sarcastically, putting four bags down on the table, "The whole bloody place was packed, the service was piss poor, traffic on the way back, you name it."

You kissed him on the cheek for a few seconds in consolation, quickly making his small dimple appear as a result. Normally, it melted your heart to see him smile, but this time, it made it almost vibrate with worry. It hurt to see him happy now, since you knew it wouldn't last long.

He turned and put his hands on your waist, "I suppose it was worth it to get back to you, though."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, quickly pecked him on the lips, telling him, "You're too kind. Now let's see what you've looted up on-"

Desperate to distract both of you from each other, you turned to the grocery bags and started to pull the items out. You did it in a sped-up manner to keep your hands from shaking too visibly. You had no idea when to mention what had to be mentioned.

"I'll tell you what," Joe spoke up, his annoyance still audible in his voice, "The service down there was so fucking slow. Took me a half hour to get four bloody bags worth."

"I'll say you took a while," you impulsively decided to create a segue- any segue- that may get you closer to your fated subject. You blurted out "You’re late."

As he continued pulling out the groceries, he cocked an eyebrow, and asked without looking at you, "What do you mean I’m late?"

"Just, you're late, that's all," you shrugged, the anxiety overwhelming you more. It was getting close to the subject now.

"I'm not late," he chuckled, still not looking up or fully understanding you. You both often liked to joke and tease each other, so this wasn’t anything strange to him.

"No," you stated calmly, going completely motionless with fear, “But I am."

He didn't completely comprehend what you had said. He began to put away the groceries and asked you obliviously, "What do you mean you're late?" Late for what?"

You pressed on, remaining rooted to a motionless state and staring at him, "No, Joe... I’m late."

"You mean that this month you didn't get your-" he started off normally, but then paused as the penny dropped. He froze, and dropped the can he was holding. Your heart sank in your chest at his reaction. Now was the time to talk about it, and you could sense it wasn't going to be pleasant. Part of you began to think that this is how it might end for you two.

He turned around, looking almost mortified and whispered, "Oh my god... are you...?"

"I don't know..." you were shaking now, "I'm just assuming."

For a moment you both stood there, staring at each other, lost for words.

Another impulse suddenly arose within you, and you blurted out again with a wavering and worried voice, "I-I hope I'm not, Joe, and I know you don't want me to be, either, because now is not a good time for this to be happening! You’re at the peak of your career, and we’ve got the new album on the way, then you'll be on tour again- and-"

"Hey, hey, shh," Joe moved forward and put his hands on your arms, "Calm down... it's okay, it's okay. First of all, who ever said I didn't want this? You can't just assume that I wouldn't be okay with it... and I'm not mad- really, I swear! Second of all, this isn't set in stone yet. We'll have to find out if you are first, and if you are, we'll... then we'll make it work out somehow. Don’t think too much just yet; try to relax.”

You blew out a shaky exhale and muttered, “Yeah, okay...”

“Have you been sick?"

"No, but something just feels... off."

"How late are you?"

"About a week..."

"Have you been this late in the past, but gotten your period anyway?"

"Yes..."

"Then we don't know for sure," he kissed the top of your head, embracing you and reassuring, “So what if you're late? That doesn't have to mean anything! I'm worried, too, but we can't just jump to conclusions like this. I wouldn't even put the stakes at 50-50 right now. All this worrying is probably over nothing. You could just be overthinking."

You turned your head and attempted to look up at him to say, "But this is a child, Joe... if there's even a small possibility that this child exists, we've got to assume that it does... we can't just ignore it for too long."

"You've got a point, you've got a point, but just for a second, genuinely consider the possibility that you're not-" he didn't dare say the “p” word, "-you know..."

You sighed into his shoulder, fighting back against tears that wanted to fall, "Okay, okay, you could be right, but there's so much that might have to be done- we can't just put this off..."

"We can until we know for sure," he suggested, "If it's worrying you so much right now, then I'll run out to the corner store and pick up a test. We can sort this out once and for all. How long did you wanna wait before taking a test?"

"I don't know, I don't know," came the drawn out reply as a few tears spilled from you, "Maybe a day or two or three, but I'm just getting so worried that it might be true, I can't wait anymore."

"Okay, then you won't have to wait anymore," he tilted your chin up to give you a quick and thoughtful kiss, then wiped away your tears, "I'll run to the store quick and buy us a test. Is that okay?"

"Yes, please just do it. I'm sorry- you just got back from the store and-"

He laughed and squeezed you tighter, swaying with you in his arms, "Ah, don't worry about it; it's a necessary trip now."

"You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would."

"What'd you think I was gonna do? Leave you?" he chuckled lightheartedly, though he guessed exactly what you were thinking.

You faked a chuckle in reply, "Yeah, kinda... I had a lot of time to overthink everything."

"Well, would you leave me? Especially if I were in your shoes?"

It was your turn to squeeze him tighter (and laugh into his chest), "Joe, if you were in my shoes, I think we'd have a real problem."

"Oh, I know, I know- but apart from that- would you leave me?"

"Of course not..."

"Exactly. You wouldn't leave me, so I definitely won't leave you. You know we've always looked after each other, and I still plan on holding up my end of the bargain."

He kissed you again, longer this time, before softly assuring you, “I love you. Don't ever think that I’d abandon you to raise a child on your own, cos' it'll never ever be a possibility. I'll be here no matter what. Positive or negative."

***

Positive or negative, indeed, you told yourself as you wearily gazed out of the plane's window. You still weren't completely sure how to feel about the outcome of the previous day, but- as you told Joe before- you had to deal with it later. There were more pressing matters currently at hand. Your previous issue could wait for an extra day or two. The more serious problem that you all were on your way to currently needed the most attention. This particular problem also seemed to outline a theme for the past 24 hours; accidental life or accidental death.

~17 hours earlier~

You both sat on the bathroom floor in quiet anxiety. Your hands were joined in a world of worry. At the moment, it was impossible to tell who was more worried, since neither of you could bring yourselves to speak.

The longest two minutes of your lives were currently taking place. The test was sitting on the counter of the sink, and neither of you were counting down to when you could look at it again. Every now and then, a reassuring thought would come to mind that you were all worked up over nothing. After all, Joe was right; you barely had any evidence other than the fact that you were late, so you couldn't just assume the worst. On the other hand though, you couldn't help but feel that there was some impending doom about to come, almost like you felt it instinctively.

With you both being scared shitless at the moment (and not even trying to hide it), you sensed that deep down, both of you knew what the result was going to be. Neither of you wanted to admit it, though.

A few rooms away, the phone suddenly sounded off, shattering the tension and making you both jump. It was almost like a form of divine intervention to prevent you from thinking any more. Almost immediately, Joe lifted his hand away and quietly said that he'd answer it. He stood up and left, leaving you alone with a possibly huge revelation sitting on the counter a few feet away. However, that would no longer be your biggest concern, for you could easily overhear Joe talking on the phone.

"'Ello?" he answered before pausing and replying anxiously, "No, I really don't have a minute... I can't say, but I don't have time to chat. You alright, mate?”

There was an unnerving pause before you heard Joe ask, "Why?"

There was an even longer pause before he spoke again. Your heart was pounding more. That gut feeling that your lives were about to change for the worse grew enormously without warning. On top of that, you suddenly realized that it had been well over two minutes at this point. Your future awaited you now.

"Fuck... oh my god..." Joe's voice was a lot more quiet now, "...oh my god, is he...?"

Now, you began weaving your hands together, slowly growing more and more impatient and worried.

"Dammit," Joe said a little louder, "We'll we've gotta go, then. We've gotta go as soon as possible. What about Rick and Sav...? Alright, then. We'll meet you there tomorrow morning- I've really gotta go and tell Y/N right now. I'll call you in a bit. Yeah, alright... just try and calm down, mate- okay? See ya, then."

As soon as he hung up, you heard him rush back to the bathroom.

"Y/N, he huffed before he was even in the room, "Y/N, something's happened and we’ve gotta-“

He froze in the doorway upon seeing you now standing and completely covering the test in your hands.

"No," he moved forward and put a hand on yours, "Please don't look at it yet; something awful's happened and I don't know how much sudden news we can take at this point. Did you look at it?”

You shook you head, not breaking eye contact with him, "No, but now I'm too scared to take my hands off. What's happened?"

He came right out with it, "Steve's been found unconscious at a bar in Minneapolis. They took him to a hospital, he’s in intensive care and... and he’s pretty bad.”

Right then and there, you dropped the test in your hands with a gasp. You were speechless, but part of you couldn't help but ask, "Is- is he gonna make it?”

You suddenly saw tears in Joe's eyes when he answered, "I don't know... he won't die unless we knock some fucking sense into him! That was Phil who just called, and he sounded scared shitless..."

"W-well what are we gonna do? Is anyone going to see Steve?"

"We are. Tomorrow morning we're flying out with Phil, Mutt, Tony, and Peter."

"Wait, what about Rick and Sav?"

"They both can't make it on short notice. We're gonna have to give Steve a beatin’ over the head from them.”

Just like that, you forgot all about the test on the floor. Steve was dying, and that was enough to flood your mind. You wanted to cry, you wanted to hug Joe, you wanted to scream, and most of all, you wanted to see Steve and sob your brains out to him.

"He's never gonna get better, is he?" you quietly asked, not particularly looking for an answer. Joe shrugged and sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He coldly chuckled in a quiet voice, "Not unless we keep drilling it into his head that he's gonna kill himself!"

Hanging your head out of astonishment, you sat on the counter, realizing that this was the biggest blow to your lives since Rick’s accident.

At least, it would be until you saw the result of the test on the floor.

"Joe..." you whispered to him, staring down at your hands, "Should we look at the test? Should we wait until we get back?"

Joe did nothing more than stare at you, frowning nervously. He moved his own hands forward, placed them on top of yours, and took a deep breath.

“We’re only gonna be more worried if we wait... so we might as well settle things now.”

Joe slowly got on his knees, and felt on the floor for the test without looking at it. When he located it, he rose back to his feet, and brought the test forward. He kept it covered with all his fingers wrapped around it to conceal the verdict.

Blowing out a trembling breath, you looked at him as he did at you, and he gently unfolded his fingers from the test. You both simultaneously looked down to see the clearly marked result. In that second, you were fairly certain that life would never be the same.

In fact, you were positive.

***

“Now is literally the worst possible time to talk about this, Joe,” you whispered again so no one else on the plane could hear, “It can wait a day or two. We’ve got to worry about Steve first."

Joe nodded a little, agreeing with you, “Okay, I suppose it can wait.”

“Don't stress yourself out so much; it's literally making you sick. Besides, I’m the one who’s supposed to be sick,” you chuckled, “That’s not your job.”

“Oh shut up,” he laughed a little, “It really is the turbulence… and the fact that Steve’s… and you’re… and I’m surprised you’re not this overwhelmed.”

You sighed and turned your head towards the window, “Yeah... I’m really surprised, too. This is gonna be one hell of a story to tell this kid when they’ve grown up...”

“I feel sorry that their story had to start out like this,” Joe put another hand on top of your already joined hands with a guilty exhale, “With such bad timing...”

As you watched the illuminated clouds move on by the window of the plane, you couldn’t help but think that things truly would be okay at one point: like that maybe this wouldn’t be such bad timing after all. Things would all work out eventually. How far away that merciful checkpoint was, you’d never be able to guess.

***

Later that day, you found yourself sitting in a circle of people in a rather pleasant-looking and sunlit room. For such a nice day that it was, nothing about the day seemed to fit the mood the weather provided; the universe simply wouldn’t allow it. Now was the time for the serious matter you came for; you were desperately trying to help Steve.

“Steve, you’re scaring the shit out of us,” Phil read bluntly from his letter to his best friend, trying not to let soft emotion seep into his tone. He knew he needed to be stern, but caring towards him.

The whole time he spoke, you wanted to devote all of your attention to him and Steve, but soon found that you couldn't. The constant thought of your unborn child was first on your mind, and although you didn’t want that taking over your thoughts, it was beginning to eat you alive. You almost felt like you couldn't hold the secret back any longer, despite only knowing for a day. In any other circumstances, it would have been so much easier to keep it secret. Today, however, was the worst possible day, with the worst possible scenario.

Every now and then, Joe would look over at you to see how you were doing, and turn back to not be conspicuous to everyone else. You could practically sense his growing worry. Going on in this manner for so long was starting to make your own unstoppable thoughts bubble to the surface. You couldn't hold out for much longer, and was even starting to think outside the box about your while situation. Was being with child really a problem? Did it have to be a bad thing right now? Could you actually find a way to rip some positivity from it all and shed some light on this situation?

That's when it hit you.

When Phil was done his speech, some silent tears were shed by everyone in the circle (including Steve). Near silence commenced afterwards (which only reminded you that there was no distraction from your thoughts now). You reached out to Joe slowly, and took his hand in a tight grip without looking at him. While you felt his eyes on you, you didn't dare look at him.

"Has anyone else got something to say to add onto that?" Peter softly asked, looking around the circle. Your heart began to pound; an opening for you was coming.

Phil slowly began to comment, looking at his feet, "Well, there's nothing I can say to get the point across any more. We can beg and plead all we want but the point still stands, Steve. I know you're not a fan of us guilt tripping you to hell- but we don't want to beat you up; that’s not what we came here to do. We love you, mate... so it doesn't matter whether or not we guilt trip you by saying we're worried sick, or- or..."

"I'm pregnant," you stated simply, closing your eyes and squeezing Joe's hand. While you didn't see it, you felt Joe inhale and look at you instinctively. For the single day that you were aware of your condition, you and Joe had feared the "p" word, and avoided using it at all costs.

Phil didn't entirely comprehend what you said, and kept talking on, "Exactly, even if we said that-"

"No-" you sat up in your seat and opened your eyes, now shaking again, "I mean... I'm pregnant."

You looked over at Joe, who seemed tired, yet understanding. Your eyes went down to his hand as you corrected yourself, "We're pregnant."

All eyes were on you now, but no one had any inclination to speak for a moment.

“Are you serious?” Mutt broke the silence in astonishment, “You're fucking with us right now, aren't you?"

“She’s not,” Joe shook his head, still fixing his loving eyes on you.

Steve looked at Phil and stated coldly, "I thought you said you guys weren't gonna make stuff up to guilt trip me."

"Does it look like I'm making this up?!" you snapped at him, anxious and shameful tears brimming your eyes. You looked around at everyone, landing your eyes on Steve.

"So you're serious?” he asked softly, frowning as he flicked off ashes from his cigarette, “You really are pregnant?”

You nodded, trying to hold yourself together.

“When did you find out?” Peter inquired gently, coming off as the most calm member of the group.

Your voice began to break as you told him with a sad chuckle, “Yesterday... we were waiting for the result of the test right when you called, Phil...”

Phil's eyes lit up at your statement, and he apologized, "Oh- fucking hell... Joe... you even said you didn't have time to talk... and what I said on the plane this morning- must've only made things worse... guys, I'm so sor-"

"That wasn't your fault, mate," Joe smiled sadly, "There's no way you could've known."

"It was just bad timing," you stared at Joe's hand in yours, feeling him shaking as well.

No one spoke for a while after that; no one could think of the right thing to say. It seems you both had scared them all into silence (even more than Steve had). Everyone in the circle couldn't speak because they no longer saw you and Joe the same way. A minute ago, you were still Y/N and Joe. Now, you were mum and dad. The others didn't know how to speak to those strange new people just yet.

“Well, congratulations, for one thing,” Tony broke the silence with a soft smile. A few muffled chuckles and agreements went around the circle, but it wasn’t what you or Joe wanted to hear.

“No, no, that’s not the point,” you threw your hands out in frustration, “We never even planned on telling anyone today! Don’t you guys see how suddenly life can come and go? Twenty-four hours ago Joe and I didn’t even have a child, and now we do. Twenty-four hours ago, we didn’t even think that there was a possibility of you dying-“ you pointed at Steve, giving him your own furious input, “-and now there is. It’s just all so surreal, but no matter how bad the timing of your life is, there’s always time to fight for survival. And that's exactly what we need to get a grip on right now.”

Steve put out his cigarette at this point, looking as if he were genuinely listening to you now more than ever.

“And I guess timing was a real bitch to us today,” you put a hand on your abdomen for the first time since you found out, addressing Steve directly, “But I’d say now you’ve got a little bit more to fight for. Just think about this whole situation; it’s not exactly a tale to be proud of. If this story keeps getting worse, and this is how it ends for you- I don’t want that to be the story of Uncle Steve. I want our child to be born into a world where you're thriving- where they... where they actually have an Uncle Steve."

You had hit a nerve (or a soft spot, to say the least). Before you even realized exactly what you had said, everyone in the circle was crying, including you and Steve. Joe looked at you with his face smothered in tears, but smiling, no less.

The seven of you remained like that for a minute or two, absorbing what had really hit everyone hard, and quietly crying your brains out.

Steve didn’t raise his head to ask you with heartfelt astonishment, “...Uncle Steve, really?”

“C’mere, you fucking idiot,” you sprang to your feet at one point and rushed over to him, taking him in your arms as he stood to take you in his without the slightest bit of hesitation.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you sobbed into his chest, “And I will always care about you. You mean so much to me, and I know you’ll mean so much to the baby, too.”

One by one, everyone else in the circle joined in the hug, each of them murmuring their love to Steve in their own affectionate way. Once you were all broken up, Joe embraced you himself and kissed you over and over again.

“Hey, back off from her,” Mutt teased, “Haven’t you done enough?”

“I still can’t believe you knocked her up,” Phil sighed with happy disbelief, “That’s something we only ever joked about!”

“Yeah well, it doesn’t have to be seen as a joke anymore,” Joe put his hands on your hips and smiled, tearing up all over again, “I’m gonna be a dad...!”

Peter chimed in, “Now that’s a bit scary.”

“It’s not scary,” you chuckled, stroking the back of Joe’s head, “It’s exciting! Timing is a bitch... but I think I’m ready for anything time can throw at me, now.”

Reaching that point of acceptance was a day-long journey that you thought would never have a final destination. All was nearly well in that moment where you and Joe hugged with a seemingly-changed Steve standing by. Right then and there, the future seemed bright for everyone; including your unborn child. An eternity went by in those two days you were gone for, and even though the next day you found out that your test result was a false positive, and Steve only lived for about another year, that false positive seemed to be just what you all needed to keep the world at bay.

The end

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 6

a/n: Are you seeing these posts? If not i don’t wanna spend my time editing the fanfiction for nothing…

    The familiar knock on the door woke Scarlett up in the morning. It was none other than Severus Snape. He was standing there with their breakfast.

"Did i wake you up...?"

"Yeah..." Scarlett murmured sleepily. "Whatever come in."

"Sorry, i thought you'd be awake..." he put the plates on the table.

"The pills make me sleepy all the time... You help yourself, i will be back." She headed to the bathroom.

While he was pouring tea into the cups, she came back and sat down the chair.

"I went to the owlery earlier and there were couple of letters for you so i took them, here."

"Oh thanks."

She looked through them; Leo, Carina, dad... and there was a package. She wondered who sent it so ripped it open since there was no name tag on it. There was a grey cardigan and a note inside of the package, she immediately recognized the cardigan because it was hers. She was very confused, so she picked up the note and read it.

~

I didn't have any thick clothes with me that night and after Sirius and his warmness left me all alone in the cold bed, i had to borrow that from your wardrobe. You lost your husband but you can have your cardigan back.

Love, Arabelle

~

Scarlett took the cardigan and the note and threw them into the fireplace while tears running down on her cheeks.

"How dare she!?" She punched the wall next to the fireplace and fell down the floor crying hysterically. Severus run up to her immediately; he was shocked at her reaction, that was so out of character.

"Scarlett, Scar calm down. What's wrong?"

"I want to kill her!" She was screaming and crying with anger. "I hate her! She ruined everything!" She was digging her long nails into her palms as she clenched her fists.

Severus was so confused and worried at the same time. He hasn’t seen her like this before and he wasn't sure what to do because clearly talking wouldn't work at that moment so he just held her close to calm her down. Scarlett was resistant at first but after a while she leant into him and just cried her eyes out until there was no tear to shed. Sometime have passed like that and finally she was no longer crying and moved away from his embrace slowly.

"I am sorry, that was so pathetic of me..." She whispered while looking away from him.

"There is no need to apologize Scarlett." He stood up and gave her a hand then he led her to the table.

"I feel so ashamed... I can't control myself at all..."

He poured some fresh tea for her and sat back down.

"Why do you feel ashamed? You just express your emotions that way and if it relaxes you, do it."

"I have bad thoughts all over my mind Severus... i don't even know what am i gonna do next. I am scared of myself..."

"Talk through them with me."

She took a sip from her tea and thought for a while. "Did Carina tell you anything? Be honest with me."

"No, not at all. She just said family issues and i didn't question it any further."

"I don't know where to start, so many things happened lately... like i can't perceive them at all." sighed deeply, Scarlett was feeling so distressed she was still shaking from the crying.

"Start with the easiest one for you."

"I am no longer the deputy minister, i quit."

"I read that in newspaper and i was surprised actually."

"It wasn't an easy decision. I love... loved my job and it was a good way to show my abilities but... i had to quit."

"Did you get a better offer from somewhere else?"

"Oh, i wish..." she smiled sadly "I am unemployed right now." She saw the confused look on his face. "And here is the shitty part..." she finished off her tea, hoping it would ease her a bit. But unfortunately, it didn't. She was scratching her hands unwittingly. Severus knew something bad was coming, this was never a good sign.

"He, Sirius, umm... cheated on me..." she bit her lip to stop herself from crying once again but the tears didn't want to stay in their places but run down on her cheeks. "With his co-worker... i caught them in our bed..."

Severus couldn't believe the things he just heard. Sirius literally would kill himself to be with Scarlett when he was young and when he finally had her, he cheated. Severus regretted his decision that he made 30 years ago, he shouldn't have believed Sirius. While he was busy with his thoughts, Scarlett continued.

"We divorced 10 days ago. 26 years of marriage ended in half an hour... and like this wasn't bad enough, after the court i came across with "the girl" and she humiliated me in front of many people. And the package was from her. She has borrowed my cardigan that night because after i interrupted their hot action, she was cold." Her anger was rising, and her face was turning red at the same time. "She wrote me that i lost my husband but i can take my cardigan back." She laughed angrily and then started to cry helplessly once again.

Severus was so angry and just wanted to find Sirius and put him in his place. Seeing Scarlett like this broke his heart into pieces but he didn't know what to do to make her feel any better. He could see her pain through her beautiful eyes. He would give anything to see them shine with happiness again.

"I am standing on a very thin line, if i let myself fall which i am close to... i won't be able to recover from this at all or it will be so hard... I don't want it Severus..." her voice had such a pleading tone and she was literally screaming for help.

"I am here for you Scarlett, whatever you want or need i will always be there to help you."

He was dying to hug her tightly and kiss her pain away. She was the only one he ever loved and his love for her never changed over years.

"Thank you, Severus." She smiled faintly.

He watched her while she was taking her pills with shaky hands.

"Would you like to do something today?" He felt like he needs to take her out of this room, she was stuck between the walls for days and it wasn’t helping her a bit.

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, we can go for a walk to Hogsmade?"

She thought about it for couple of minutes.

"We can do that, maybe being outside will be good for me."

"Good then. I will be in my room, when you are ready just knock on my door." He picked up the breakfast dishes and left.

Scarlett sat on the chair for a while before starting to get ready. She thought about Severus, when he was here with her she felt so comfortable even speaking about such hard topics for her. He always made her feel so calm and peaceful. But another side of her was still hurt by him. She decided not to think about that now, there were already man problems in her life.

Some time has passed, and she was knocking on his door. He opened it with a tiny smile on his lips.

"Sorry it took a little longer, apparently i forgot how to dress up since the only thing i wear was sleeping gowns for weeks..."

"It's okay and you look beautiful whatever you wear." The sentence did slip from his mouth before he thought, he blushed a little after he noticed what he just said.

"Thank you, Severus."

She smiled lightly and the two walked out from the castle to Hogsmade. It was a chill November day, just like Scarlett likes it. She was a total winter person and the cold weather always made her feel better and alive. A tiny smile appeared on her lips.

"I was thinking the old days, i have never imagined that we would be on our way to Hogsmade in our 50s."

He chuckled softly. "But here we are. Just like we used to do while we were at Hogwarts."

"I would like to live a day from those good old times."

"We can live like one. First we go to Honeydukes and get your chocolates then we have our hot chocolates at Three Broomsticks and talk."

"Sounds good to me!"

He was happy to see her all excited about such a simple day. They walked the roads they knew so well, got her favourite chocolates and now they were enjoying their drinks.

"You never talked about your life, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing much. Just working and dealing with dunderheads..."

"I hope you are not calling my daughter a dunderhead." She joked.

"I wouldn't hire her as my assistant if I thought so."

"Ah good to hear that because she really likes you, you were always her favourite professor. She would be sad if you called her a dunderhead."

"Carina was my favourite student to be honest. She was such a good student."

"Like mother like daughter." She grinned proudly and flipped her hair.

"I see you very humble."

She chuckled softly while slapping his arm jokingly. Severus grinned at her, that was his Scarlett and he was glad to see her happy. They kept talking about random stuff and spent some more time at Hogsmade. They were back at Hogwarts before it got dark.

"Thank you so much for today Severus, i feel so much better." She smiled at him before she entered her room.

"It's my pleasure, i am here if you need anything."

"Thank you again, see you tomorrow."

"See you."

He walked into his room as well and laid down on his bed thinking about her. His heart was beating like a teenage boy who was back from his first date. She was right here, so close but yet again he couldn't hold her, couldn't inhale her sweet rose scent, couldn't kiss her delicate lips...

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13 @mrssnivellussnape

If you wanna be on my taglist, let me know!

[sunarintoes]

Dear Whovever: [Kenma]

Synopsis: You and Kenma are both best friends and youtube gamers however you want to be more than just best friends so you decide to ‘man up’ one day and write a heart felt confession in a minecraft notebook before then putting it in Kenma’s personal chest.

WC: 3K

TW: slight swearing :)

[Episode one]

[recording in 3… 2… 1… start!] 

“Hey gamers, Kodzuken here with Tulip-but-make-it-yellow! I've done a few Minecraft videos with Tulip before, but thought I'll start a new series that will be posted every Monday.”

“It's called Minedays with Tulip and Kodzu”

“I- no, Tulip. I'm not sure what we’re gonna call it. But you guys will know- obviously since it's the title of this video.”

You whine and pout into the monitor, “Kodzu I think Minedays is a cute name.” 

Instead of replying Kenma rolls his eyes and hits you ingame. “Should we introduce the challenge and get it started?”

“Yeah that's a good idea!” 

“Well, it's about eleven am right now, we have until eleven pm to build a Minecraft house from a random topic,” he pauses and moves to the side to point to a sectioned spinwheel, “on this bad boy,” whacks the spinner, “we have eight different themes, in a sec I’ll spin it and whatever it lands on will be what we have to build.”

You let out a high pitched ‘hmm,’ “I feel bad for Kuroo and Hinata, they’re both going to have to edit twelve hours of footage down to 10 minutes!”

Kenma chuckles, “fifteen minutes actually.”

This time you roll your eyes. “Hurry up and spin it you fool! I want to get buildinggg” 

Smiling, Kenma moves back a bit and spins the wheel, after thirty seconds full of anticipation the wheel finally stops and its small arrow is pointing at- “Yes! Cottage core theme!” you yell out while Kenma groans. 

“Really? That's lame why couldn't we have ‘Lucifer’s Bedroom’?” 

You poke your tongue out to the monitor - which Kenma could see, after all, you are in a Discord call with him. “Don't be sad just because you're prancing in my turf…. Looooooser!”

Kenma playfully glares towards you, “You’re on! See you in twelve hours!”

Unfortunately, the difficulty of building a cottage core house in the woods - in survival mode, proved more difficult than planned. 

“We spawned in a desolate area huh? Barely any flowers!” you hear Kenma make a sound of agreement as you sink into your comfortable ‘gamer’ styled chair. 

“Don't tell me you've given up? Just because you can't find any flowers?” 

You scowl at his cocky tone however your mood does a one-eighty when you suddenly get a good idea. “Ok everyone! I know what I have to do! I'm going to restart in another place because this isn’t working!”

Kenma makes a sound of surprise, “you're restarting? It's been an hour already-”

“Yeah and we have, like... eleven more.” Kenma sighs in response, “better get a move on.”

For the most part, the two of you kept quiet - not wanting to let the other know how well you were doing. However one look at your phone only to see that your twitter has blown up, you decide to take a short break, after all it has been four hours of you sitting on your ass playing Minecraft. Once you open Twitter you're met with a barrage of tags and mentions - all of which screaming ‘KenYn’ and ‘Kodzutulip.’ You felt heat rise to your face, you - yes you, Ln Yn with the online alias Tulip-but-make-it-yellow, has a big, fat, humongous crush on your best friend and fellow youtuber - Kenma, aka Kodzuken aka the cutest guy in the world. To make it worse - or better, you couldn't really tell, was that many of your viewers shipped you with him - as did his viewers. 

You are of course, happy with this but you can’t help but wonder if Kenma feels the same way, does he feel weirded out by all this shipping content? Does he find it uncomfortable? Does he find it unsettling to be shipped with his in-real-life best friend?

“Hey Yn?” Kenma calls softly, “you've been looking at your phone for the past ten minutes and your face looks sad.”

You instantly look up to meet Kenma’s face and try to find the right words to say, “I… I’m just kinda tired and eventually got distracted!! Sorry Kenken!”

Kenma visibly cringes at the old nickname - the one you gave him in primary school, “if you say so… better get your head in the game though - my mansion looks epic.”

Your eyes narrow, “mansion? The theme is cottage core!” Kenma quietly chuckles in response, “a mansion can still have a fairy aesthetic, you should know that”

You huff in faux annoyance as you place your phone away and ‘get your head in the game’ just as he requested. “Be prepared to be crushed! I am the cottage core guardian!”

There are ten minutes left to your’s and Kenma’s excruciatingly long Minecraft challenge, your ass hurts from sitting on it for almost twelve straight hours - including bathroom breaks. When the buzzer rings the two of you step back from your respective buildings and make your way to the starting point - which had been marked by a stack of 20 or so dirt blocks. 

“Well that was twelve hours of eye straining torture,” you say as you stretch your arms. 

“You're tired already?”

“Kinda… I can't wait to go to sleep after this.”

“Weak, I’m playing Battlefield as soon as this is over.”

You roll your eyes and scoff, “this is why you look like a living corpse in the morning…”

Kenma looks you dead in the eyes and with a completely serious face he says, “yeah but you love it.”

You choke on your spit at his boldness, “y-yeah I guess.” 

If you were being honest, you were not the best at reading people and it was dark in Kenma’s gaming room, the only light coming from his three screen/monitor computer setup, but you think you see a light blush creep up to his cheeks. And you hate it, you hate when he says things that make your heart flutter, you hate it when he just sits there and the digital glow accentuates all of his delicate features, but what you hate most is yourself. You hate yourself because you have fallen in love with your best friend, you hate yourself because you know he doesn't like you back and you hate that you continuously give yourself a sense of false hope. 

“Yn… you want to stay up and game with me don’t you? ”

You sheepishly look to the side, ‘mayhaps.’

Kenma sighs looking at you with a soft face as he whispers “then I won’t play Battlefield and I’ll go to bed and so will you, ‘kay?”

You smile tiredly at him, “sounds like a deal.”

“We'll get back on at the same time tomorrow and we’ll do the final part of this video - the reveal. Until then.”

You smile and wave at the camera “cya soon~”

[recording over]

After your call with Kenma ended you got ready for bed but for some reason, no matter how tired you were, you just couldn't fall asleep - your mind was screaming obscene ideas that you couldn't help but contemplate. At first it was just wishful thinking but then came a thought that refused to leave, ‘confess.’ 

It was a tempting thought, but how? Surely you couldn't just say ‘hey Kenma I've liked you since high school lets date!’ yeah no, that was a horrible idea. Maybe if you confessed with some originality he would be more likely to accept but for now, you were going to do your best to go to sleep.

[Episode two]

[recording in 3… 2… 1… start!] 

In the morning you woke up feeling refreshed and excited for the day to come, Kenma had texted you and asked if you were feeling up to recording the reveal from last night and episode two today and of course you said yes. 

The video goes on without any troubles and soon you find yourself staring at the computer screen at eleven once again. 

“Remember to like, subscribe and comment below on who you think won this round.” Kenma’s voice is soothing - if you had to describe it you would say that it is silky like honey and smooth like dark chocolate; or maybe you would just say his voice is perfect. Kenma waves to the screen monitor, “hello? Earth to Yn! Are you dead or something? You look like a zombie.”

It takes a while to register, you weren’t really paying attention to the words he said as you were more interested in the way he sounded. You sit up and smile into the camera, “I'm awake… thanks for caring!”

He scoffs and swivels in his chair a bit, “I don't care about you, you're just my idiot best friend and flatmate.”

You playfully narrow your eyes, “well this idiot flatmate of yours helped you bake apple pie so you wouldn’t starve to death!”

“Hmmm, I guess. Well I'm going to head off. I'll see you later.”

You smile softly, “yeah I'll see you later, i'm just gonna stay on for a while.”

Kenma looks at you with an intrigued expression, “you're going to stay up longer? Better not be in this world, that's cheating. Want me to stay up with you?”

You roll your eyes and giggle, “it's all good I want to fix my house up in the other world. I'll see you tomorrow.”

He sighs, “if you say so.”

[recording over]

Your chair rolls back as you stretch, “maybe I should confess to him through a Minecraft journal…” you jump up. “Thats it! Thats a great way to confess! Its original and Kenma would appreciate it…. If he accepts my feelings that is…” 

You groan and slump back down into the chair, “maybe it’s best if I don't confess at all. No! I've wanted to do this for years! If he doesn't like me back it's all good! Maybe I just won't do this on a stream!”

You reach over to the bench and pull up your phone, “who to call, mmm ok let’s call Alisa I’m going to need some emotional support!”

“Hey gamers, Kodzu here in another Minecraft live stream, today we’re just in mine and Yn’s regular world and i'm going to build a house - a cottage to be specific,” he pauses and looks at the comment section; ‘no Yn isn't here right now, no Yn won't be joining this video, no I didnt know shes streaming at the moment, yes my favourite food is apple pie, yes I have a calico cat, no Yn is not my significant other, yes we are just friends.’ Kenma moves back and takes a breath, “wow you guys sure are interested in Yn huh? Maybe I should get them in more videos, might get more views that way,” he laughs a bit.

“Let's start off by heading to my base, I have the materials I’ll need there- oh uh what's this?” Kenma pauses as he stares at the foreign object, “I don't remember having a written book in my chest… maybe Yn went in here and put it in?”

Kenma stares at the book for a while before he opens it, only to be shocked. The comment section notices the blush on his face and continue to spam him with questions:

[kodzusbabe]: what's in that diary!!

[Kenmastan]: hahAAAHHA LOOK HE’S SO RED IN THE FACE

[piefacecutie]: ^^ omg you're so right @/Kenmastan hes so cute 💓

[Kenmaxyn]: I hope it's a confession!

[ynhater]: @/Kenmaxyn from who? Cause I didn't do it and I'd be the only one for Kenma oppAr

[kennismaken]: I hope it’s Yn! They’d be such a cute couple

[applepudding]: umm? Kodzu! Why did he get up and leave??

[ynhater]: babe come back!

[Kenmaxyn]: OMG MAYBE IT WAS YN !!!!

After your late night call with Alisa, you decided it would be best to just do it and then ignore Kenma for the day - well, not ignore him per se, just simply decline all his Discord calls and Facetime calls so you could put off being rejected a little while longer. You woke up with a throbbing headache that you could only blame yourself for, after all you are the dumbass who stayed up until God knows when just to write a heartfelt confession. Eventually the angst of waiting for a message from Kenma overwhelmed you and here you are now; streaming Overwatch to get your mind off of a certain someone.

“Ah no! Cant believe that stupid Hanzo got me! What a pain!” you frown at the screen and let out a sigh, “the round is over… bummer. Well while we wait an eternity for the next round I guess I should answer some of your questions… oh? I didn't know Kenma was streaming, no I’m not dating him… “ you feel your heart sink as you read the next comment; “what do you mean Kenma ran away after reading a book? Was he unhappy?”

The next moments felt like a blur, your heart was heavy and you felt tears well up in your eyes and somehow you missed the sound of someone breaking into your apartment and then your bedroom. Within a second you feel someone wrap their arms around you from behind, your body tenses up but immediately relaxes when you recognise the perpetrators scent; sweet yet salty, like caramel toffee.

“Kenma! W-what are you doing?”

“I like you too… I have for so long.”

Your eyes widen and it doesn't take too long for a smile to appear on your face, “I'm so glad to hear that.”

You feel him smile into your neck as his embrace tightens, “finish up your livestream so we can talk please.” 

“You don't need to tell me twice!”

It is eleven at night once again, but this time you’re not sitting alone in your gaming chair, instead you're sitting on Kenma’s lap - in his gaming chair as he slowly runs his hands through your hair and softly kisses your neck.

“So everyone’s pretty much freaking out over us huh?” you hum in response, “we’ve been officially together for what? Five hours?”

“Correct you are.”

You smile and hold up your phone while you continue to cuddle into him, “smile baby, I want the whole world to know that you're my player two.”

[Bonus - the love letter]

Dear Kenma,

This must be so strange - finding a journal in your chest. 

I have wanted to tell you this for quite a while and I guess I have never found the write words to say; or the right way to for that matter,

But I love you

I have loved you since our first year at Nekoma

It's been a while hasn’t it?

I'm sorry if this inconveniences you, makes you uncomfortable or makes you never want to see me again; 

Just let me continue for a little while longer because I need to get this off of my mind.

I love your smile - especially the rare one where you really smile, where your eyes crinkle and your cheeks begin to hurt 

I love your voice - it’s smooth and silky, like honey being spread across bread

I love your scent - it reminds me of salted caramel,  I can never get enough 

I love your mind - the way it works to make me laugh, make me calm and all else

I love your lips - not necessarily in a sexual way, but more so in the way you talk and speak, they move softly and slowly in a way only your lips could move in.

I love your body - how although you're hunched most of the time you still possess a fine elegance in the way you move. How at times it reminds me of a graceful swan floating down a lake. 

I love your hands - they are so pretty and dainty and soft, I want to hold them all day and all night

And most of all;

I love you

I love you in your entire

I could go ahead and pick the parts I love most and least but then you would no longer be you

I love you in your entire

Flaws and all

I know this may not be the most romantic, especially considering you’re reading this through Minecraft and I've never done this before but I had to let you know

Love 

Yn

Taglist: [open] @ladyrenart

note: sooo this is another style that i tried and i have mixed feelings about it :) also if you can’t tell,,, i’ve never written a love letter before :’)