#don't listen to kafka

[archaeopter-ace]

Don't Listen to Kafka: summary of what would have happened next

So my laptop’s harddrive got wiped for the second time within a year. And while I do have a lot of DLtK notes and writing backed up, the truth is that between the first wipe circa October 2022 and the second time I fucked up my computer at the end of July, I didn’t touch DLtK at all. At this point I don’t even know if I could figure out how much I lost the first time. 

The name of the game is perseverance; I don’t want these incidents to kill all my WIPs, I don’t want to give up. But. I don’t think I have it in me to try to salvage all the WIPs I’d been working on, and Tales of Arcadia hasn’t been my hyperfixation for a while now. I keep waiting for the wheels of my fandom interest to turn in that direction again… but they haven’t, and there’s nothing I can do to make that happen on purpose. 

So I’m going to share what I had planned for this series, because I still love it dearly, and this wonderful fandom, and if you want to comment or ask questions I welcome them! I am going to be writing this summary from memory, because tracking down and going through my story notes just depresses me. 

First things first, I need to address the fact that Claire does not know that Enrique is trapped in the Darklands. It was on Jim’s mind in Metamorphosis, and he decides to enlist NotEnrique’s help in introducing Claire to the idea of changelings (Incidentally, NotEnrique hasn’t had a moment to cement his loyalty to Team Trollhunter, since the battle at the bridge didn’t happen the way it did in canon. So at one point I thought about writing a sort of prologue, in which Nomura drops by to talk to him - she’s not trapped in the Darklands, but she’s gonna nope right out of Arcadia now that the Janus Order is in disarray with Strickler’s defection. Because I am nothing if not preoccupied with typing up any and every possible loose end ;P And I wanted to address whether RealEnrique would be in danger, since in this AU the babies in the nursery are hostages for the changeling’s loyalty and good behavior. So if NotEnrique defects, that would put Enrique in danger - unless the Janus Order’s ability to convey kill orders to the Darklands was stopped. And since I never said how they do that, I think the Fetch will do very nicely. Better keep a tight hold on that, Team Trollhunter) 

Right, so Jim tells Claire who does not take it well (oh, and there’s a whole thing about what does Barbara know, because like hell would she not tell Ophelia and Javier that their kid was kidnapped, so does that mean Jim is keeping secrets? I think I found a solution I could work with but I can’t remember what it was). Claire doesn’t take it well, and it affects rehearsals for the school play - I found some lines Juliet could deliver with scathing sarcasm. The romance is dead, and Ms. Janeth despairs.

Jim is in a serious funk, because some of the insults Claire threw his way unknowingly hit some seriously sore spots. He wants to come mask-off clean to Claire as part of his apology efforts, because Claire put it into his head that Not Telling her things is exactly equivalent to Lying, and he doesn’t want a repeat of her anger if he waits to tell her too long about being part changeling. Toby is not a fan of this idea, and goes to confront Claire about the fact that Jim is planning to be extremely vulnerable to her and she had better take that seriously, just because Jim hurt her by not telling her about NotEnrique does mean she is entitled to all his secrets, he’s going through a rough time and she’d better not hurt him back Or Else.

I… can’t remember what leads Jim and Claire to reconciling. I know that they do manage it in time to save the school play, huzzah! Around the same time as opening night, Jim’s horns finally break through, and this is something of a momentous coming-of-age moment in a young troll’s life. There’s a whole ceremony, and Claire is invited, cementing her inclusion in Team Trollhunter. (The ceremony involves digging a hole in the ground in a shady spot and burying Jim in it up to his neck for a day. It’s a test of courage, and to show that he’s ready to come to the surface on his own. Mostly Jim thinks it’s a test of his patience)

And that concludes the first act! 

Next, the effort to rescue Enrique begin in earnest. See, the thing is, unlike in canon they do not have access to a complete Killahead Bridge; Otto absconded with the keystone before the bridge was recovered. So they will need to find a different way into the Darklands. Now for a bit of worldbuilding. Because Killahead Bridge is an example of Sealed Evil In a Can, right? (Keep in mind that this was drafted before Season 2 of 3Below had aired, let alone Wizards) I asked why wouldn’t you obliterate the bridge more thoroughly than just breaking it into pieces, if you really wanted to keep Gunmar in the Darklands? And the answer I came up with is that Killahead Bridge functions as lock on Gunmar, so that it is the only way for him to leave the Darklands. If you pulverized the bridge, it wouldn’t trap him; it would release him, because then he would be free to seek out another passage out of the Darklands.

That being said, there aren’t oodles of ways in and out. Besides the Fetch, the only way that rumors tell of is Morgana’s secret entrance. But no one knows how to find it, because secret map is in two pieces, and one has been in Trollmarket in Blinky’s library and the other has been with the changelings for centuries. But! This time around Team Trollhunter have the evil book they got from Strickler. (Dangit I’m blanking on the name - not grimorum arcanorum, that’s Gargoyles. Not Darkhold either.) The map points them not to the Darklands, but to Morgana’s lair where the key is hidden. Yay Baba Yaga house with chickenfeet!

But before we get to that: you’ve heard of Hybrid Vigor, now get ready for Outbreeding Depression! This is when hybrid crosses are disfavored by natural selection. Like if offspring are infertile, or two subspecies are bred together to try to preserve an endangered species, and instead it makes a muddle of local regional adaptations. Or maybe the offspring only have one copy of a gene that they really need two of to do well. Or the animal lives in an environment where there are a lot of dark surfaces and a lot of light-colored surfaces, so being dark-colored or light-colored provides good camouflage, but being gray just means you show up at least a bit on both surfaces. 

All this means is that I am totally justified in putting Jim through the wringer >:) As his human blood cells are replaced with changeling blood cells, their ability to bind oxygen decreases. Oh, time for more worldbuilding: changeling blood edition. I could be wrong, but I don’t think we ever see any full-blooded trolls bleed? This despite Draal losing an entire arm. Tattoos are chiseled into them, and there’s the line about treating wounds with molten metal, so I feel confident in saying that, in this story at least, trolls don’t have blood. No blood, no circulatory system. But wait, I hear you cry, trolls can drown! And they are seen to breathe. How do I explain that?

I decided that the thing being circulated is not oxygen, but rather magic. The same kind exuded by the Heartstone (magic: it’s both a particle and a wave!) Hence troll society being built around magic-dense Heartstones. And water acts as a neutralizing agent, it smothers magic. Changelings live primarily on the surface, and do not have access to Heartstone magic. They also do bleed, unlike regular trolls. I’ve made these two facts related; changelings supplement their magic energy intake with an oxygen-using metabolism. They have hemerythrin as the binding pigment in their blood instead of hemoglobin, which is not as good at binding oxygen (this is true irl) but is capable of binding ambient particle of magic in the air (this has fascinating implications for certain species of marine worm with purple blood!) 

What’s happening with Jim is that his mixed blood is getting increasingly bad at binding oxygen, but not yet good enough at binding ambient magic. So he gets out of breath easily; it presents a lot like altitude sickness, being in thin air for a prolonged time. Solution: needs more close proximity to the Heartstone, where magic is denser. He’s out of commission for a couple weeks while his organs rearrange themselves. (I wrote bits of a scene where Barbara and Jim go to a changeling doctor that Strickler puts them in contact with, I can’t remember where in the timeline that was supposed to go). 

Oh, speaking of Strickler, he’s doing occupational therapy to adjust to being an amputee. Barbara is helping out, but is extremely firm that she “can’t be his Florence Nightingale.” He’s a good resource when it comes to changeling Jim things. Like when Jim becomes lethargic and Barbara can’t tell if it’s depression or something else. 

To summarize the summary so far: there are two parallel plot lines, one in which Team Trollhunter, sans Jim who is convalescing, follow some clues to get to Baba Yaga’s house to find a secret way into the Darklands to rescue NotEnrique. And the other plot line is Jim dealing with continuing changes to his body.

To get Barbara to sign off on Claire putting herself into danger by going a-questing, Claire steals Jim’s glamour mask and poses as her own mother. (What could possibly go wrong!) When they get to the house with chicken feet, it’s not sturdy enough for Blinky and Aaarrrgh to climb up, so Claire and Toby are on their own. Gotta give them their power-ups! 

Claire sticks her hand in a box and it gets impaled - yikes! But it’s magic, so the wound heals right up, and, she will later discover, she now has telekinesis. The drawback: she is now claustrophobic. Basing this on how in some Vathara’s fics describe ki-sense as like a fish’s lateral line sense, ‘touch at a distance.’ Basically, I figure that if you’re going to be picking stuff up with your mind, your mind has to be able to ‘feel’ the object. Thus, an awareness of the things around her, including walls. She can *feel* how big or small a room is. Even her own bedroom feels too small, too close; she can’t sleep unless her windows and door are open. 

Toby, meanwhile, gets a magical pet bonded to him! In a manner of speaking. I wanted to give him something that would let him fly like his warhammer did, and reached into Norse mythology. No, it’s not mjollnir, though it, too, was made by the dwarves Eitri and Brokkr. It’s Boary McBoarface, Gullinbursti! From the Prose Edda: "It could run through air and water better than any horse, and it could never become so dark with night or gloom of the Murky Regions that there should not be sufficient light where he went, such was the glow from its mane and bristles." Toby is able to ride on its back and charge Gullinbursti into battle against his opponents. Drawback: if he uses it too long, a bloodlust rises in him, and he becomes a proper berserkr, full of rage. Good thing he has a wingman who knows a thing or two about anger management!

Who do they need to use these newfound skills to fight? I’d always planned for Otto to become the main Big Bad, a foil for Jim as a fellow polymorph. Wasn’t entirely sure what that would look like; reviving Angor Rot was Strickler’s plot, would Otto think to do the same? 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jim’s uncle is concerned that Barbara says the two of them aren’t coming to Thanksgiving without giving a reason why (the reason being, Jim is bed-ridden and unable to pass for human). Uncle Mark remembers how Barbara similarly withdrew when she was with the emotionally abusive James Sr., and recalls that she mentioned a potential new beau last time they talked on the phone, so he’s going to come investigate. Just to keep throwing wrenches into the works. For some reason I really really wanted this to overlap with Blinky being turned into a human, but if they aren’t planning on *fighting* Gunmar with their sneek-through-the-backdoor plan, then they don’t really need the Triumbric Stones, do they? Do any of those quests even happen?

Act II ends with Claire and Toby getting power-ups, and Jim finally completing his transformation into a changeling. Yay! Now if he can just figure out this shape-shifting thing…

The first time Jim changes into someone other than himself, it’s after a stressful night worrying about an upcoming Spanish test, and he wakes up looking like Senor Uhl. He gradually gets more skilled and confident in his ability to change shape, and then he gets the bright idea to sneak into the Darklands through the Fetch by turning into a goblin. (Hand-wavy answer about ‘why aren’t they using the method acquired from visiting Morgana’s lair’ now that they have it. Can’t remember why.)

Jim has clearly never read Animorphs, or he would know why shapeshifting into a hivemind creature is a Bad Idea. Waka chakka!

Yeah things get a little silly at this point, but they have to be if I’m going to bring the Creepslayerz in (which, given how this whole subplot is just a tangent that could conceivably be cut without impacting the plot, I’m not 100% committed to bringing Eli and Steve into the mix. However, as I said at the beginning, I love tying up every conceivable plot-hole, and Goblin Adventure answers the question, ‘If you have the fetch and shapeshifting powers, why *wouldn’t* you shrink yourself down to get through that way?’) Toby, in a moment of foresight, writes ‘JIM’ on Jim with a sharpie, so if he escapes their watch, they can find him again. (Creepslayerz, reading it upside-down: “Hi, Wif!”) I can’t remember what’s in my notes for how they finally get Jim changed back, but if I had to guess, it had something to do with Barbara.

Yeah, Act III is where things start to break down for me, in terms of having a clear idea of what I wanted to happen. Partly to make things easier for myself and partly because I think Jim might be slightly more sympathetic to the plight of the changelings, only Enrique is getting rescued. The rest of the babies are just going to stay there for the time being. Gunmar can only be defeated with the Triumbric stones, but is it written that the Trollhunter has to be the one to use them? Can we give them to Angor Rot and unleash him to have his revenge on Gunmar? Does Jim *actually* have to fight Gunmar to achieve his objective? I kind of think things have changed enough that he doesn’t have to, and Morgana doesn’t rise again, and Merlin stays asleep, and Douxie keeps on trucking. Yeah, figuring out endings is hard. Mostly I figured I’d need to write the rest of the story first, to even know what the right ending should be. A lot can change between drafting an outline and writing a story…

So there you have it! Everything I remember (and don’t remember) off the top of my head about where I was planning on going with Don’t Listen to Kafka. Gosh I just, I appreciate so much all the love that this fic series has received over the years, and I didn’t want to leave you all hanging indefinitely.

[oxandthorn]

that bustier is working overtime (come get yo man)

[iceclew]

...sooo... As threatened mentioned beforehand, I did a thing that might be awefully specific ...? (☉౪ ⊙)

...

... Listen, I took our Kaiju blorbos and squished them onto Markiplier, like this is literally it, there was like one other guy that was like "Omg, Kafka is literally Markiplier" and I was like "YES!! THIS!!" and we were like "AARGH!!" And you should know me by now, that I am very unrational about my doings when there's someone else sharing my obsessions and/or stupid ideas about smth, so here is Markiverse...

And... I am very unsure about the way I pulled this off, like.. I feel...you need the original screenshots for context...? Or maybe not? ...but I mean I can always get rid of them later on..

Moreover better to link the videos as well, I guess?

Goat yoga and The Saddle - Unus Annus (best of compilation)

Family Friendly - Markiplier LP

[mechazushi]

Fortitude Privilege {Staring Yu/Na and Base Inspector} (A short story)

After everything had settled down, they let Kafka do what-the-fuck-ever. That also includes snuggling on his boyfriend at anytime during work hours.

Vice Captain Hoshina was the first to leave the training room when Iharu passed by with a new recruit. He was showing her around the expansive base when he was presented with an opportunity to have a down to earth meet-and-greet with the base's second in command.

"Hey! Vice Cap! Good timing. Yunna, this is our Vice Captain Hoshina. Vice-Cap, this is Yunna. She's a transfer from Division Seven." Iharu took the lead on the introductions while the two of them were exchanging salutes. They all began trading questions with each other, busy distracting themselves with platitudes to not notice another person turning a corner and coming up behind Hoshina. A tall, burly, and clearly tired individual shambled up behind the vice captain and slumped over his shoulder unceremoniously, almost knocking him over.

"Oof, Kafka! Is everything okay?" Hoshina said calmly at the intruder. The man he called Kafka just wrapped his arms lopsidedly around Hoshina's left shoulder as he dug his face into the crook of his neck on the right.

" 'M fine. Drained" He mumbled incoherently, sacrificing vowels in his state of exhaustion. He nuzzled his nose affectionately in the curve of Hoshina's neck and took a noticeable whiff. "New cologne's nice."

Yunna, the new recruit, became visibly flushed as she continued to stare on. Iharu was already completely desensitized to this and just continued his conversation with the Vice Captain. Noticing the state of shock on the newcomer, Iharu took a second to explain what was happening.

"This is Kafka Hibino. He's the Captain's and Vice Captain's boyfriend. Everyone has learned to just let him get away with this bullshit." Iharu smiled cheekily at Yunna after he had finished.

"What am I supposed to do when he's like this? Tell him 'No'?" Hoshina said as he crossed his arms. He felt the rumbling of deep throated laughter coming from the man on his shoulder.

"Conveniently leaving out the fact that I'm also a kaiju." Kafka said as he lifted his head a little just to speak clearly. Yunna made a small squeak of surprise as the revelation made all the pieces click into place.

Down the hallway behind Iharu, everyone could hear another person aggressively shouting as they came down their direction.

"Aw, shit." Hoshina whispered under his breath.

"Who's that?" Iharu questioned as he turned around to look.

"Base Inspector. Probably looking for me to bitch about something inane." Hoshina continued. Iharu took that as a sign to whisk the new person off to a different location, sensing a need to disappear before he got themselves caught in possible corporate crossfire. Hoshina prepped his best Resting Bitch Face as the lanky inspector approached viciously.

"Afternoon, Inspector." Hoshina said in a deadpan manner. He took a longer look at the man coming toward him and noticed he recognized none of the man's features.

'Hmm. I wonder if he's new?' Hoshina thought. His hopes were raised a little, thinking that this possibly new base inspector wouldn't have the same stick up his ass like the last two did.

"Vice Captain Hoshina. Just the person I was looking for." The inspector called out. He opened his mouth to begin what was most certainly about to be a mindless rant concerning some slighted offence over some breach in paperwork or protocol, but quickly shut it when he noticed Kafka making no move to acknowledge his presence.

"Well, I was going to bring up your continued disregard to execute less leniency toward how officers structure their reports, but now it seems I should take over instilling basic officer conduct as well." The Base Inspector straightened his square framed glasses and leveled the most demeaning glare at the tired, hairy, lump that had made its place on Hoshina's shoulder.

"Oh, lay off. He said he's tired." Hoshina countered. He was beginning to wonder if a mightier-than-thou attitude was a requirement to being an inspector.

"Lethargy is no excuse for blatant indifference to higher authority." The stringy looking man sniffed haughtily. A threatening, rolling, and loud inhuman growl emanated from Kafka, still not looking up from his place at Hoshina's side. Hoshina chuckled as he ruffled his hair while he talked to him.

"Mind being a dear and head up to Mina's office for a bit? The only adult in the room needs to discipline this child, apparently." Hoshina spoke in hushed tones, sounding incredibly loving into Kafka's ear. Only a more disappointed growling whimper was heard in response.

"You could beg for more cuddles if she's in there." Hoshina sang quietly as he nosed Kafka's hair. The slacked-spined man lifted his head to stare disapprovingly at the unwanted interloper before planting a smooch to his Vice Captain's cheek and walked away, radiating an irritated aura all the way down the hall. The two that were left followed his path and waited for him to turn around a corner before continuing the discussion.

"You do know that having a relationship between a higher authority figure and an officer is prohibited, correct?" The inspector said as he turned back to face Hoshina.

"You know that man has a fortitude rating, correct?" Hoshina snarked.

"Don't you mean an aptitude rating?" The inspector returned wearily.

"No, fortitude." Hoshina reiterated firmly as he stepped closer into the inspector's personal space, " Ya'know, because he's a kaiju and all." The inspector tried not to express it, but he seemed taken aback. first from the clear hostility, then from realizing what Hoshina meant.

The inspector's lips flapped open and closed for a moment before letting slip a small, simple "oh."

"Were you not made aware that we had such a person within our ranks?" Hoshina asked poignantly.

"I was made very aware of such personnel." The inspector said as he adjusted his glasses again, "What I wasn't made aware of was how much leniency he seems to be permitted to have because of such an obscenely paltry standing." The inspector spoke with baseless higher authority, attempting to recover from finding himself on the back step. Hoshina could feel his lips being stretched thin over his teeth as he felt the need to use them to rip the throat out of this obstinate and unwarranted trespasser.

"Then you should have also been made aware of how that man had not only saved the lives of millions, but also saved the planet six times over consecutively." While being shorter than the inspector, Hoshina did a fine job of making it seem like he was towering over the other man.

" As... notable... as those achievements are, it shouldn't take away the fact that a relationship between an officer and a Vice Captain is unconducive to to the workplace since it could be used to unjustly gather sway in one's ranking." The base inspector held his position in the conversation, but was forced to slink down in height as he cowered under Hoshina's invasive presence.

"Ohh, trust me. The higher ups have made it very clear that he's already achieved the highest ranking they'll allow him, and that's being an exploitable weapon." Wrath tinged the edges of his words as he managed to climb higher over the base inspector.

"There is nothing in this world that he hasn't earned by not working his ass off for. So excuse me for thinking that the least he's owed is the right to express some fuckin' PDA." Hoshina could feel the tips of his lips curl into an unfriendly smile with an uncanny amount of teeth showing.

"If you really want to drag rank over this and piss off a man who's capable of leveling all of Western Japan for no decent reason, be my guest. If you have nothing drastically important to talk about, like something that's impeding the health and wellness of my officers, then I bid you farewell and hope your day is as wonderful as you are." Hoshina reclined back onto his heels and crisply marched away from the inspector, who still wasn't recovered from the invasion of personal space and was stuck being slant backwards, even as Hoshina moved out of eyesight.

Minutes later, Hoshina had found himself in Mina's office. Hoping to join in on Kafka's sudden bout of needed physical closure, he slipped past the threshold and quietly dumped his gym bag next to the door. Taking up most of the center of the room in front of the desk, was Mina, sandwiched between Bakko and Kafka. Reclined against the tiger formed monster, Mina looked silently overjoyed to have an asleep Kafka nestled between her legs as he rested his head on her stomach. Laying tilted on his side, the left portion of his face was buried in Mina's clothes while his arms had dug a hold around her midsection, framing his head. A low vibration hung in the air, getting louder as Hoshina snuck over.

"Need me to pry him off?" Hoshina lovingly muttered into Mina's forehead as he planted a small smooch as well.

"Later. Now, I need you to grab my phone!" Mina tried to contain her excitement as quietly as she could while gently brushing her free hand through Kafka's hair, the other being trapped under his heavy shoulder.

"Yes, he looks adorable, doesn't he?" Hoshina playfully rolled his eyes as he made moves to stand up.

"Well, yes, but you can't tell me you can't hear this?" Mina's smile was wide as she looked up at Hoshina. He took a second to listen as he processed the low rumble in the room.

"Is... is that not Bakko purring?" Hoshina questioned.

"No, he's awake!" Mina harshly whispered in joy as she jabbed her finger behind her, "This is all him!" She pointed her finger again at Kafka, emphasizing her revelation.

Hoshina made a quiet, deep throated cackle as he comically tiptoed around her desk to grab the phone and pull up the camera. He managed to settle onto the floor and shimmy his way under Mina's free arm as he held the camera close to Kafka's face. They got at least a good minute of audio, starring his purrs before Hoshina decided to end it there, not wanting to push their luck.

"It's a shame he can't purr all the time. Instead of the sleep talking, I mean." Mina commented as Hoshina made himself more comfortable in their embrace on the floor.

"We wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning if he did." Hoshina muttered sleepily as he finally stopped shifting when he found a good spot to settle into. Mina brushed his hair for a second while she returned the forehead kiss from earlier before relaxing into the warm and heavy pile she had unintentionally made for herself.

@iceclew

I hate to ask this from ya, but... Have you seen this yet? If you didn't have an opinion one way or another, that's fine. Just wanted to ask.

[nightfal1n]

(Kn8 manga chapter 111, Incoherent thoughts on Mina and Kafka bc I can't contain it)

Okay how should i live for another 4 weeks knowing Kafka has trained his human side with Hoshina and Kaiju side with Narumi...then Mina gets to play support to both sides in the same battle...that she has beed dreamed of since her childhood, even in a twisted form of it, for the first time in her life? Like...she ofc worried but one prompt from Kafka and she's ready to lean on the resolve. On first glance it's easy to take that as Mina being forced into a sniper role like before EXCEPT this time she also provides a cover fire, leading Kafka and 9 to the dropsite while she herself is also moving into the position. Like... amount of mutual trust they have for each other, amount of effort and energy to carry on those in such a short time span, and skill to make all of their moves count. Kafka transforming this time with a resolve not only to shoulder the risk, but also fully trust Mina that Mina will trust him. Okay the last panels of Mina raising her main weapon without words spoken and Kafka took a glance at is going to be my life support for at least 4 weeks onward...wait how many times did i said that on a different places? Well it's fact after all

(...also 9 had a smug realization about figuring out what 8 is only to get snapped out from his thought seeing he's now at 14's dropsite and his reaction in that moment was priceless)

[cheriafreya]

actually what if I do try to pull Jiaoqiu. what if

[iniziare]

Camden is the most adorable when it comes to reacting to anything and literally everything, but man, his reaction to Kafka's trailer never gets old. I mean come on, HE METAS ABOUT HER, my actual heart. But then again, I also just never tire of noticing new things when I watch it, all the while jamming out like I don't do with anything else, I feel like some sort of hip hop-variant of a conductor.

[araneitela]

1: /puts on Lewis Capaldi's 'Someone You Loved' on repeat for no other reason than still being madly in love with it months down the line.

2: /wallows over seeing something Kafka-related on Twitter that I so badly want to share because it was so cute and I loved it so very much but I don't know if people here would appreciate the dynamic as much as I do.

3. Hi guys, I swear I'm here, I swear I'm here. This meta about fear is driving me insane.

[freylaverse]

On a fateful night, she came to me, A mistress cloaked in mystery. What came next came naturally, But when I woke up, I felt sick.

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Top song playlist is here what are my vibes?

[ozzgin]

Due to a rather embarrassing bureaucratic mistake, you - a mere human - have been appointed as the new Death of the Monster Realm. The monster souls are confused (and unexpectedly aroused) to find a small, frail creature as their guide through the Underworld. Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, collab with Kafka

“Who the hell are you?”

Before you stands a Beast. Your body is frozen in sheer terror, crumbling under his all-knowing stare. You feel like you’re facing God Himself. Could it be? Have you died? God certainly looked a little more merciful in those Christian depictions.

You swallow dryly and open your mouth, words rolling out clumsily.

“I-…it’s (Y/N). I’ve been told to come in.”

The creature continues to glare at you incredulously before abruptly turning and speeding towards an enormous desk, a sudden realization occurring to him. He throws papers around, as if searching for something, occasionally releasing a thundering curse. Aha! There it is.

He collapses into a chair, head resting in his clawed hands.

“There has been a mistake. You're not supposed to be here", he growls, defeated. "And yet, it can't be fixed."

He scans your features briefly, taking his time and searching for the words.

"Listen, kid. I don't know how to tell you this any better: you're going to be guiding souls into their Afterlife. Monster souls."

You blink.

"Alright. Is there some training for it?"

The Beast is a little taken aback by your nonchalance. Given the extraordinary circumstances, he expected you to cry, beg and scream. Perhaps you won't be such a terrible fit, after all.

"You will learn from me. I am the previously appointed Death, and have been here for the past millennium."

Formalities finally aside, he takes you through the colossal, arched halls, explaining your job through words shrouded in mystery and cosmic terror. You nod and scribble obediently in your little notebook.

Thus begins your task as the new Death of the Monster Realm. A never-before-seen peculiarity: the ferocious, departed creatures are greeted by the small frame of a...human. Their eyes widen in disbelief.

In Monster culture, Death has always been described as the creature above all creatures. A blasphemy of gargantuan dimensions, with many eyes and horns, a pitch-black blight of dread. Even the highest-ranked Monsters shudder upon his arrival.

You wave your hand dismissively. It's the hundredth time today you've received this reaction of utter shock. Let's move on, shall we, you think to yourself sarcastically.

The path to the Gate feels like an eternity. Without exception, the monsters will ask you too many questions. Not about their situation, mind you, about yourself. Are you truly a human? How did you come to be the legendary guidance of souls? What was your life like before this? Surely you must have some interesting stories from your life as a mere mortal.

The former Death stands up from his seat.

"What do you mean, there's an increase in lost souls? Is that damn human not doing their job?" he demands, turning to the servant who'd come to announce the latest statistics.

"They are, Sir. It's just...Well..." the beast is visibly tense. "It's the monsters who don't want to leave."

"And? We've had plenty of those before. Why're they refusing to pass this time?"

The answer is clearly of a sensitive nature. The short, stocky butler fidgets and stumbles, then finally confesses meekly:

"They claim to have fallen in love with the human."

In all his eternity working as the Soul Collector, he'd never imagined such ridiculousness. He'd always been feared and well-respected, performing his task swiftly and without issue. It never occurred to him that he'd have to include as a guidance step "how to handle the monster souls flirting with you." He grabs his scythe and marches outside with an exasperated sigh.

Somehow, he doubts his retirement will come anytime soon.

[More Monsters]

[irisintheafterglow]

a kaiju attack spoils date night with bf!hoshina. he is so pissed.

cw: canon-typical violence, swearing, mild angst/fluff, happy surprise ending

"is it just me, or does the vice-captain seem angrier than usual?"

"maybe he's just fired up. there's a lot of yoju for him to take care of," iharu observes, scanning the emptied streets from the rooftop of an evacuated office building.

"you idiots really don't pay attention at all, do you?" shinomiya mumbles under her breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. the rest of the officers with her stare at her blankly. "it's thursday, geniuses."

"is there something special about kaiju appearances and days of the week?"

"not that i've heard of," kafka states, scratching his head with a finger. "did new research come out?"

"maybe it's because of the full moon," haruichi says and the other men look up at its soft shining light, nodding in understanding.

"that makes a lot of sense."

"but why would that make the vice-captain angry?"

"maybe he's a werewolf," iharu whispers with sincere worry. "maybe kafka's not the only shapeshifter in our division."

"it's date night, you meatheads! the vice-captain's supposed to be off-base and relaxing," shinomiya explains impatiently like it was written on the floors in fluorescent paint. "he's probably angry that the attack came right when he usually picks up..."

"picks up who?" the officers stiffen and quickly fall into perfect lines. you smile at their professionalism and try not to laugh at how quickly they changed their gossiping demeanors. "you know, officers, you should be careful about what you say in regards to the vice-captain."

"our deepest apologies, platoon leader," kaguragi monotoned, ever the perfect soldier.

"at ease," you command them. "you have nothing to apologize for. i'm simply warning you of what might have happened had it not been me passing by."

"understood, platoon leader," izumo confirms. "if we may," he continues slowly and you can see the rest of the officers eyeing him warily. "were we...correct in our assumption as to the reason for the vice-captain's mood?"

"the werewolf assumption or the assumption that only shinomiya was correct about?" everyone but shinomiya reddens, looking down sheepishly at the toes of their suits. the axe-wielder straightens her shoulders with a proud glint in her eyes. "to answer your question, it would be the latter," you answer with a poorly-hidden smirk. "he'd barely knocked on my door when the alarm sounded."

"oh, i bet the vice-cap was seething."

"he definitely was," you confirm, recalling the colorful curses he uttered as you both begrudgingly shed your nicer clothes for your combat suits. i was supposed to take off your clothes under different circumstances, he'd lamented. don't go thinking our night is canceled because of this. i'll finish them off quickly for you.

your relationship with hoshina was no secret, considering that he talked about you whenever he was given the chance. every kdf member on base knew you preferred to keep your romantic life as private as possible to avoid questions of power dynamics from higher-ranking officials. hoshina, however, either didn't listen or didn't seem to care. he happily declared thursday nights to be date nights, threatening intense punishment for the officers below him if they caused trouble while he was gone. a static-filled message from the scouting teams sounds in your earpiece and you dismiss the officers, moving to join the vice-captain at the front line.

judging by the slowly increasing trail of dead monsters covering the asphalt, you find hoshina easily as he cuts a clean slice through a fast-moving yoju. you change the frequency on your earpiece so that you're directly connected to his.

"someone's been busy," you remark, pulling the batons from your back and electrifying them with the switch by your thumb. they hum in your hands, electric blue lightning crackling in sync with the released power of your suit. "save some for me, would you?"

"any other day, i would," he replies and you hear him smile despite his annoyance. "but it took me three months to get those reservations, so i wanna finish this up quickly." another yoju falls, your boyfriend a phantom blur in the darkness.

"are you calling me slow?" your hand plants itself on your hip as you continue to watch him cut down enemies, barely moving from your place between the dead kaiju. "i can't believe my boyfriend thinks i'm slow. here i thought you were my biggest supporter."

"that's not what i said," he huffs, the slightest waver in his exhale the only evidence of exertion. "i'm just faster." he pauses for half a second to catch his breath, and you snag your chance to overtake him.

"hmm, i think i'll take over for a second, then." launching yourself from the ground, your feet run perpendicular against the wall of a crumbling building as you close the distance. you can feel hoshina's attention on you while you dodge the yoju's swinging limbs and sink your batons into the skin covering its core, electricity surging through its body as it falls with a loud thud. "how's that, mister i'm just faster?"

"cute," he admits, offering you a hand as you hop down from the monster's head. you're shoulder to shoulder facing opposite directions and catch the challenge in his eyes as you look at him over your shoulder. "but i know you can go harder."

"go your fastest then, soshiro," you dare. his throat bobs as he swallows thickly, a subtle sign that you'd thrown him off. "i'll do my best to keep up."

---

"so, this is not how i wanted date night to end up," he says through a mouth full of noodles, slurping them loudly from the bowl on your living room coffee table. "and i'm sorry we couldn't go to that fancy place."

"to be fair, the website didn't exactly update its hours immediately," you remind him. "how were we supposed to know the place got demolished in the attack?"

"true, but i made you get all dressed up for nothing," he grumbles, accidentally dropping a vegetable and splashing broth onto his face. "ow." you snort against your spoon, setting it down in your bowl and swiping over the corner of soshiro's mouth with a napkin. "this was my favorite shirt, too. worst date night ever."

"good thing there's this place called the cleaners, babe." he continues to frown despite your unending patience, letting you clean him up while he indulges in staring at you in your nice clothes. you could make anything look pretty, he thinks, staring unashamedly at you wrapped up in a blanket and covering your going-out clothes. "hey," you murmur, gently grabbing his chin and turning him to face you. "i don't mind."

"you don't mind what?"

"this kind of date night."

"but we could do this anytime," he mumbles, avoiding your eyes. you shake your head, pushing away your food and climbing into his lap, your legs on either side of his hips.

"no, we can't. we don't know how many times we get this in our line of work," you point out with an ache in your chest and he finally blinks up to look at you. "so i'm grateful for any time i get to spend with you, soshiro." his throat bobs again, but he manages to give you a small smile.

"you're too good for me, you know that?"

"if you say so," you shrug, leaning down until your lips barely brush his.

"but, you know," he murmurs and you pull back, staring into his starry eyes. "there's not a lot of nights," he inhales, reaching behind him to grab something from under the couch's throw pillow, "where i get to pull this move."

"what're you--ohmygod." he smirks at you as you blink down at the small box sitting in his hand, covered in crushed velvet and embroidered with gold. "that's-you didn't..."

"i did," he whispers, memorizing every inch of your shocked expression. "so," he pushes open the top half of the box with his thumb to reveal something that sparkles even in the dim lights of your apartment, "please--"

"yes!" you scream before he can finish his sentence, your excitement echoing off the walls as you both break out into wide grins. "holy shit, yes!"

"baby, i didn't even ask the whole question," he chuckles, giving in and slipping the ring on your finger. "what if that wasn't the question i was gonna ask?"

"i'd skewer your head with my batons," you smile sweetly and he hums, admiring the jeweled band in the light. "that was the question you were gonna ask, right?"

"of course, sweetheart," he assures you, finally leaning up to press his lips against yours. "you're the only one i'll ever let keep up with me."

"you gonna marry me, hoshina soshiro?"

"i'm gonna marry you so hard, the entire base will know." you fondly remember your conversation with the officers earlier in the night.

"darling, i think they already know."

if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee on my ko-fi! commissions and nsfw requests can be sent through my fiverr! you can also check out my full masterlist here :)

[s-awturn]

Day Off || F1 Grid

cw: nothing but superficiality, cuteness, intimate but not obscene moments, sharing moments, mention of gossip. Just pilots resting

starring: LH44, CS55, CL16, LN4, OP81, MV1

a/n: I had this written a couple of days ago, but Tumblr just "ate" the only file I had and I lost everything. I was so mad I didn't even want to write anymore, but damn, This is too good a HC to waste, so okay, let's try again (remembering to save periodically this time 🫡

LEWIS HAMILTON:

You and Lewis had created a reading list to complete throughout the year, you bet there were about a hundred books on the list, titles ranging from classic literature, biographies, poems, and contemporary literature. Books that you and Lewis wanted to read together or the books you thought the other should read.

So it was common for the two of you to spend the pilot's day off reading in bed while listening to blues or jazz on the speakers. You read together, wrote reviews of the books you read and discussed them.

He was reading Percy Jackson and the Mark of Athena and you were reading Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka.

"So? What did you think?" He asked, marking the page he was on, Lewis had just started the last chapter and you had already finished reading.

"He does go through a metamorphosis and it's extremely unpleasant to imagine, but I've read more unpleasant books," you confessed, putting the book on the bedside table. "Four stars, and you?"

He snorted "Piper is so boring, damn she only knows how to think about Jason and how she doesn't like being the daughter of Aphrodite, so boring"

"God, yes! I don't like her either... Anyway, I'll wait for you to finish, and then we can choose the next one."

"Sure, honey," he kissed her temple and returned to reading just as Etta James began to sing "At Last." You settled into it, petting Roscoe as he lay beside you. This is the best way to enjoy your day off.

CARLOS SAINZ:

Carlos was at a stage where he wanted you to learn golf to play with him, after all the sport was a tradition for him and the Spaniard wanted you to be part of it, but you were terrible. You were really bad at golf, but that didn't make he want to teach you any less.

And well, you didn't like golf either, you didn't understand the sport, the scoring was weird, there were at least half a dozen different clubs and you couldn't even cheer.

But at least the clothes were cute and the cars were cool.

"Let's go, amor, I'll teach you," he said, going to pick you up in the golf cart. Lando, who was accompanying them this time, leaned his body on the golf club, waiting.

"Carlos, I'm terrible at this, you know," you grumbled, taking the bat he offered you. Carlos was a persevering man, you had to admit. He stood behind you, teaching you again how to perform the shot, instructing you to separate your legs and take a deep breath.

"I bet you five bucks she'll throw the ball in the lake"

"Shut up, Lando," you both said.

You followed his instructions and hit the ball...

...that fell into the lake.

"I knew"

"Shut up, Lando"

CHARLES LECLERC:

A day off for Charles meant you would get to visit his favorite spots, from a famous restaurant to a little coffee shop tucked away in a city alley. Sometimes he would take you to the south of France to see some chateau, other times he would just rent a chalet for you to be together in privacy, and you had lost count of how many times they had gone to Italy to see the vineyards and villas on the border with Monaco.

This time, you were preparing for a slightly longer itinerary, you had suggested visiting the Grace Kelly exhibit before heading to the cottage he had rented for the weekend.

"Got everything you need, mon cher?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her waist in a sweet hug.

"It depends, I know we're going to see the Grace Kelly exhibit, but I have no idea where we're going after, you say a cottage and I don't know whether to bring a bikini or coats" you mumbled, looking at her handbag.

"Take both just in case, you know spring can have unpredictable weather"

"Are you saying that so you don't give me a hint about where we're going?" You turned in his arms, facing the pilot. "That's not fair."

"You'll like it, mon ange, I promise"

"At least tell me if it's still in Monaco..." You tried to persuade him, sliding your nails lovingly along his chin, making the Monegasque shiver and let out a heavy breath.

"You're not taking me to the siren song, pretty girl." He gave you a quick kiss and a light slap on your ass before leaving. "We'll leave in fifteen minutes."

LANDO NORRIS:

Lando's downtime with you was spent playing games, you thought it was counterproductive to fuel his competitiveness when he should have been resting, but this routine of games with you made him much calmer and more relaxed when he returned to work. Ironic? Yes, but it worked.

You two played anything, Monopoly, Naval Battle, Game of Life, Detective, W.A.R, Uno, even checkers or cards. Any game was fair game.

The problem is that you got really competitive, your friends even gave up trying to play with you because the game turned into a battlefield.

"You lowlife cheater, did you really throw a +4 at your fiancée?!" You yelled at him, Lando laughed and blew you a kiss before dodging the pillow you threw at him.

"You know how things work, honey. Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm going to let you beat me."

"This will come back!" You bought the four cards he forced you to. "I really hate you."

"And you are the love of my life"

"Die, you jerk," you snapped and he laughed.

Lando could feel all the tension leaving his shoulders, playing with you always made him relax, no matter how aggressive and passionate you became in the game.

OSCAR PIASTRI:

Considering that Oscar was always traveling and there were few really usable pages in his schedule, any time the two of you could have together should be taken full advantage of, and For both of them, there's nothing better than an afternoon of movies.

You two had created a list of movies on Letterboxd and the chosen one of the day would be Interstellar.

Oscar was making popcorn while you were arranging the blankets and pillows on the couch, so what if it was the height of summer in Australia? There in the apartment, the air conditioning was hovering below fifteen degrees, keeping the room at a favorable climate for you and your boyfriend to cuddle while watching astronauts lost in space.

"I thought you were going to choose Anatomy of a Fall," he muttered, placing the food on the coffee table, popcorn with cheese, assorted snacks, chocolates and ice cream and of course, lemon soda.

"I was dubious, but you know I love any movie that has Matthew McConaughey in it," you said, getting under the covers, accompanied by Oscar, "and of course, The movie's soundtrack is perfect, I use it to study..."

"Have you watched it?"

"No, I was waiting for you, but I discovered the playlist... I'll send you the link, you'll love it"

He hummed in agreement and you pressed play on the movie, Many times you paused the film to comment on something or express your theories. It made the movie session better, Oscar didn't mind listening to you talk about it and you loved his theories.

It was, without a doubt, the best way to enjoy the break.

MAX VERSTAPPEN:

He would rather be playing, sleeping or, I don't know, watering the plants, but you always dragged him to a skin care session. You spread different creams on his face, plucked some extra hairs from his eyebrows, trimmed his beard.

As much as he denied it, Max learned to enjoy it, being taken care of by you was one of his guilty pleasures. And it all got better when you started gossiping without any trace of shame. He talked about what went on behind the scenes in F1 and you shared news about work and your condominium.

"I'm still sad that Logan was let go, he had a lot of future," you said, sliding the massage stone across his face, spreading the serum into his skin.

"He's a good kid, unfortunately he wasn't ready for Formula One yet, he came in too early and couldn't adapt well... I hope he can find his place" he grumbled, sighing at the gentle massage on his cheekbones.

"Yes... Williams was very ungrateful to him and I won't elaborate on that" you said a little bitterly and Max laughed, you always positioned yourself as a defender of the poor and oppressed.

"Yes... I won't elaborate on that either... It's better"

You both were silent until you clicked your tongue.

"Uh, I almost forgot to tell you, last week there was a horrible fight at the condominium meeting.

He opened his curious eyes "You can tell me everything, dear"

"The neighbor at 1165 caught her husband with the building manager and the building manager's husband in her bed"

"What the fuck?! Are you kidding?!"

You laughed, putting away the massage stone and sliding your fingers firmly over Max's face "you had to see it, she put together a PowerPoint with photos and screenshots of the conversations"

Max laughed out loud "damn, I wish I had seen..."

"It was a real fight, they argued and everything, it was really fun to watch"

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"I will definitely go to the next condo meeting"

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED TO S-AWTURN™ 🪐. I do not allow copying or republication. Any unauthorized publication will be reported.

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[esthercore]

HSR Men and After Care ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ ₊˚⊹♡

Argenti is a yes, the jack of all trades, everything you can think of, cuddling, talking, cleaning, everything, always, prolonged after care, almost giving you a home spa and massage. Making you feel the luckiest price/princess in the world, yet so effortlessly.

Aventurine's likes cuddles, massaging you and words of affirmation, telling each other pretty things and kissing each other's scars. Staring into each other's eyes before falling asleep.

Blade just lays their and let you do whatever you want to with him, or just do anything you tell him to, really need to be taught tenderness, but will try his best for you.

Boothill will be the one needing some positive pep talk. The man's 95 percent body is metal, so he feels really insecure in his ability to pleasure you. Tell him he did good, and hold him if he tears up. Once he's feeling better again, he help clean up and massage the knots out of your back.

Caelus is so lovely. Oh please teach this sweet racoon puppy how treat you, and he put all his effort into it. He loves you so much and is so desperate for you. He put's the most effort in aftercare, as unlike Argenti who's actions come naturally, Caelus always try to go extra mile to make sure his lover his happy. Maybe even shamelessly ask Himeko for advice or better yet Kafka.

Dan Heng is really good. Coziness is his forte, so bunch of quality time with each other. Not much of a talker, but will listen to you as you lay in his arms, venting out anything and everything that's been bugging you recently, and then kiss your worries out your pretty mind.

Dan Feng (the actual high elder in past) will do the same, but will have tail rapped around your waist, as you two sit on the mat, your back resting on his bare chest, his robe lazily draped, barely hiding his mat, looking at the fountain out in your private courtyard, smoking from his pipe as your beautiful voice fills the room.

Dr Ratio is methodical. He has an algorithm like schedule he likes to follow, laying a towel below you as he prepares the bath, then carrying you princess style, cuddling you in the warm water. His rubber duckies floating around, as he lazily feeds you some grapes and your drink of choice he had prepared. Sometimes he likes to read you whatever stupid fiction book you're into at the moment, things he would never even open himself, but if it's for you, he happily read you the entire thing like an audiobook.

Gallagher is a simple man, he help you clean up, be there till you recover' and then have a smoke, and go about his day, unless you specifically ask him to d something, he don't see the point of doing it.

ForJiaoqui, well is it really a surprise, he will feed you first thing first after some rounds? He needs to ensure you have enough energy. Maybe you're still stuck on his knot, as he make you sit all pretty in his lap, as he feeds you the herbal porridge he had kept ready for his amazing mate.

With Jing Yuan it's cuddle central baby! Gonna plop your body in his, as if you're a plushie, clutch you tight and just fall asleep. Smack him awake if you want proper after care or pass out too, it's not like to you will have energy left after multiple rounds with him.

I believe Luocha will be the best with after care. Very tender, and gentle. The pretty man will be insistive for cuddling you, will clean you so good, make sure you are hydrated, fed and in top notch condition. Will flatter you so much and only be satisfied once you feel like a spoilt prince/princess.

Moze gives you no time for a breather pick you up like a sack and carries you the bathroom, help clean you up, and takes a shower as you yap whole soaking in warm water. Will cuddle after you two are fresh and clean.

Sampo is a meanie, he's the type to tease you even during after care. Calling you a nighty slut, and reminding you the way you acted so desperate and whiny during sex, as he scoop the cum out of your holes, or simply plug you up, if he feels like it. If you tear up he simply his your tears, and hug you tight. Will start calling you sweet names, and i love you's, when you're on the verge of falling asleep tho.

Sunday is well Sunday, he would have water prepared, maids already ordered to run you bath, and even some snacks for you. Even if it's compulsive office sex, he would always be prepared. Very determined while taking care of you. Likes worshipping your body, and trail you with kisses, telling you how perfect, and how pretty you are.

[yurinaa-world]

Hello!! can I request Blade, Aventurine, Jiaoqiu and Sunday (it can be Boothill if you don't write sunday) from hsr with a fem so who loves physical touch like hugs, kisses, cuddling etc but is too afraid to ask from the character because she doesn't wasn't to overstep her boundaries? Sorry if this is too specific, I'm going on through this and I just want a bit of comfort lmao, also feel free to simplify the ask if it's too much! remember to take breaks and drink water :D

"𝒴𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉 𝓊𝓃𝒸𝑜𝓂𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒, 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊?"

💫𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒶𝒸𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈: Blade, Aventurine, Jiaoqiu, Sunday, & Boothill x Femalel reader

💫𝒮𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: with a reader who loves physical touch but is to shy to ask because you don't overstep their boundaries.

💫𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: fluff, & Spelling mistakes, added boothill as well because this would suit him so well,

💫𝒩𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: GUYS, I ALWAYS EAT YOUR IDEAS UP (I went over board but I'm proud of how it came out) Hope you like it!!

💫𝐵𝓁𝒶𝒹𝑒 "𝑀𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓁𝓁𝒶𝓇𝑜𝓃 𝐻𝓊𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈"

This guy is a complete dunce when comes to you. He’ll realize what you what want when it’s spelt letter by letter right in front of his face. like Kafka smacking him in the face to treat you right and go n’ give you some love like a proper lover would to his lady.

But now, he doesn’t get at all, why you’re acting like this, just devoiding of any type of affection. Taking back your touch before apposgising about it. Why? But never answer since you like to move away so quickly that he can’t get a chance. (it’s a sad sight for everyone to see.)

He’s rough with it, Don’t get too scared if he smashes his hand on the side of your head—hitting the wall instead—the sight was akin to a bully taking lunch money from the nerd. His words come out rough—like usual really but more angry this time but it’s nothing you can make sense of at first.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Blade was always odd but you were the odd one for being in love with him, so madly in love to the point you always liked to hang out with him even though it was more like a one-sided conversation but the fact that he cared by the fact he cared to listen to your every word (anytime he sees something similar to something you were talking about he gets it for you).

Not an affectionate man when it comes to talking or any romantic gestures, but the love is there, so does it matter? Because of the bare affection in this relationship, you thought it would make you uncomfortable if you asked for more. Yet right now you’re not exactly sure how it ended up like this. 

You honestly feel bad for the brick wall behind, cracked, and dented in, all by his hand. He’s glaring so fiercely as if you insulted and spat on his face or worse. What is this even about? You aren't even sure but you feel sweat drip down from the back of your neck. Are you getting threatened by your lover no less?

“You’re…”

“...I’m what?” You can’t help but tilt your whole head at him. Just what? His hand leaves the wall, moving it to the back of your hand, sharply shoving your face in his face. You’re left in shock, what is he doing, exactly?

“What are you doing?” pulling your face back before he grabs your waist with his other hand and forcefully brings your body against him. This time he’s the one titling his head at you as if you were confused for no reason. “Since you can’t say it, I’ll do it for you.” 

Huh…now you might have an idea of who told him that, curse them all, seriously. “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He doesn’t care about that, sweet to everyone else you care so about him, but if want affection from him then that's what he's going to do.

Don't blame him too much if he pulls you in to kiss his rough lips—the complete opposite of yours—you feel like going to suffocate from the lack of air he’s letting you have when you pull away for a couple of seconds. Affection at its finest.

💫𝒜𝓋𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓊𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑒 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒮𝑒𝓃𝒾𝑜𝓇 𝑀𝒶𝓃𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝐼𝒫𝒞 𝒮𝓉𝓇𝒶𝓉𝑒𝑔𝒾𝒸 𝐼𝓃𝓋𝑒𝓈𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝒟𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉"

He’s like a walking magnet when it comes to affection & especially when it comes to giving it to you.

He can see your sulking, honestly, it’s written all over your face, taking glances at him before looking back down to think a little more—it’s obvious a gambler like him should always know what his opponent is thinking (you also count). Not trying to be cruel but it’s quite cute seeing you like that.

He just chops it up to the idea of you being too shy! It’s so cute honestly. Only to be left sort of speechless when you ask if he wants you to hug, he didn’t expect that question at all, and for some reason, it makes the hug even better.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“You seem quite deep in thought,” A sly grin was plastered on his lips. The little sulker you are. Just standing there deep in thought, breaking your thoughts to glance at him, it’s just a repeating cycle. Only when he finally calls out to you, is when you finally break out from the cycle.

“Why so nervous? Hmm, hiding something?” leaning closer to your face just to see that pretty face all red by such a simple action. You’re not sure of what he might say, you just wanted more of his affection, yet you don’t want to go overboard with it, just like him uncomfortable. 

Your face does say everything you're thinking, every single thought. Looking him in the eyes, it’s obvious he’s gonna get an answer from you, and you just ask away since the worst he could say is no. “Well, I wanted to ask, if you’re comfortable, I could hug you.”

The feeling of nervousness begins pooling in your stomach, getting worse when your face goes blank, processing your words.

“If I'm comfortable?” 

“Just in case you didn’t like it and didn’t want it.”

For the first time, this is anyone’s ever asked him if he was comfortable with wanting something, it’s stupid that anyone would even care that much. It all just clicks together, you were worried that he would be uncomfortable when you asked for more. Can you blame him when he laughs a little—he’s probably just lost his mind.

“Come here and give your lover a nice hug.”

It feels so nice to be in your embrace, it’s nothing like any other, his hand can’t help but to go up and gently pat the top of your pretty head. He wants more, the genuine feeling of a hug like this.

💫𝒥𝒾𝒶𝑜𝓆𝒾𝓊 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒳𝒾𝒶𝓃𝓏𝒽𝑜𝓊 𝒴𝒶𝑜𝓆𝒾𝓃𝑔"

That man knows everything, he’s a counsellor for goodness sake, and he reads people like books, you aren’t any different but one thing is that you’re so adorable whenever your face says what you’re thinking, it just makes him want to pinch and pull your cheeks as if you’re puffer fish.

He can see the way retracting your hand away from him or pretending to get something else as if you were a child getting caught putting your hand in the cookie jar. He sees the ways your eyes light when he gives you affection like a head pat but you never seem to ask for more when it’s so obviously written on your face.

After a long tiresome day, still finding a way to tease you a little. He’s open up and looks in such a loving gaze as you tell that you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable because you want more from him, you didn’t want to be greedy. How can he not spoil you, he wants to give you the entire world if it makes you happier.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Too tired to even eat?” 

Lifting your head off the table accompanied by a tired groan leaving your throat, looking at Jiaoqiu, his chin resting on his hand. How exhausted you were that you weren’t even in the mood to eat anything, evidenced by you before, pushing the bowl—filled food—to the side so you could rest on the table.

“You couldn’t even imagine.”

“You should take yourself more, or you might just turn into skin and bones, I'll end up being your nurse,” He chided, taking his other free hand to push the bowl back in front of you. “At least one bite” He tries to persuade you when that unappetizing expression appears when looking at the bowl.

Even when you do take the spoon at least try eating a little bit of it so it doesn’t go to waste. Only for him to pat you on the head as if you were a little kid, yet unknowingly the sulking could be seen on your face. “If you want more you could just ask.” 

“I don’t need any more food.”

“I mean: patting your head, it written all over your face that you want more,” you hear the teasing in his tone, especially when his eyes open to reveal its pretty gold colour, “Now are you going to tell me what the problem is?”

“I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable for asking for more.” 

Funny how people always ask for more so comfortably yet here you are sulking and struggling over the need for and wanting his attention, how could you even be greedy when you’re holding back so much? His hand just lands back on your head, gently patting your head.

“Just how cute can you be?”

💫𝒮𝓊𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓎 "𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒪𝒶𝓀 𝐹𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓁𝓎"

He's a part of the overthinker club, overprotective of you and wanting to keep you safe, when he feels the one-sidedness of your relationship, he’s stuck at a stump, odd right? He’s thought of every possibility of everything until perfection.

He's always been busy. so romantic relationships are easy to read and understand from the outside but now he’s in one with you, he tries to be as delicate and perfect as he can along with equal footing with each other, in short, what does he do? Are you disinterested in the current way things are going? Never returning his affection or love, one thing that you quiet or don’t enjoy but no it’s not that at all.

You see the relief in his eyes when it comes to light what you were keeping quiet, which somehow makes him fall for you even more by the fact you just care so much about his well-being, makes his heart warm at the fact you worried about what he’s feeling. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

“Do you feel unfilled in our relationship?”

As night took over the sky, took away any light except the from the moon that was shining down, giving most people the signal to go to bed and rest for the night. 

For you and Sunday it was no different, getting ready for the night after a long day, yet it seemed to only you who was actually, Sunday on the other hand watching you, arms crossed while against the door frame.

When those odd words left his mouth—along with the most serious and emotional expression you’ve ever seen on his face—even you were left in slight shock, this completely out of nowhere.

 “Of course I am. Maybe you’re tired after such a long day of work.” you smile at him, going past him to go to bed, in the hope that possibly, he’ll take off his clothes and rest with you.

In swift motion, his arms wrap around your waist, bringing your back against his chest, his face in neck. You could feel his warm cheek against your neck, feeling the soft feather of his wings against the back of your head, you could feel your breath stop. 

“Does my touch repulse you?” 

“Sunday, what are you talking?” The same thing again, seriously what’s happened to him to be acting like this? His arms hold you tighter. 

“You never wish to reciprocate my feelings…have I done something wrong?” 

You were left speechless at those words, that wasn’t true in the slightest, you wanted so badly to hug, take all of his affections that he gave you, and have more, but not sure if he would like it. If you went overboard someone from the outside could see, it wouldn’t end so well in the public’s eyes. Just so many possibilities 

“It’s nothing like that. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable by it, so I didn’t ask.”

You feel his head bury itself deeper in your neck. By that answer he can’t sigh in relief, sweet and caring as always, you had him so worried, he doesn’t blame you for caring about so much.

💫𝐵𝑜𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓁 "𝑀𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑜𝒻 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝒶𝓁𝒶𝓍𝓎 𝑅𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇𝓈"

tad bit angsty, but fluff

He’ll do anything for your affection, being with you is like feeling the sun. You legitimately make him feel alive even though his body is a scrap of his former self and who he used to be. He is scared he might ruin what he has with you, it’s just too much for him to lose you. (since you’re the only one that isn’t freaked out or scared of him)

It might just be him trying not to make you uncomfortable with his affection when he realizes you aren’t visibly saying that you like it or if you want more of his affection (undying love). He’s stumped, he's overthinking if he did something that made you despise him or something. Did he say something stupid again?

You can just see him physically down as well, it's pretty obvious. (sitting on the stairs with his hat off). While you go to check on him, he is just a little emotional until you just confused about what he’s going on about. You can see his face contort as you tell him the reason for him, he’s in shock, no relief. Everything at once.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

He doesn’t know what to do in a moment like this, his mind feels just…hazy. Or confused about the next step. You don’t like him, do you? You never want more from him, nor any hints at all. He must have done something, just something! It must’ve been when he went overboard.

He can lose you over this, not like this. 

“Boothill, are you alright?” 

You can't believe the sight of him like this, sitting on the stairs, hat off, hair messier than usual, his face soaked up with sadness and deep thought horrid that even you know he’s out of it. “I’m sorry if I hurt ya, I probably bein’ stupid again.” he just started pouring out, like an overfilled bucket in the harsh rain. He looked as if he was going to cry.

“Boothill what are you talking about?” cutting him off from rant to see where this idea even came from. You're not even mad at him in the slightest, “You don’t ask wanting more affection from me, then you don’t try to reciprocate it because yer’ mad at me for doing something!” 

“That’s not the reason, I just didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable by asking more from you.” 

“Say wha? Me?” You just see his eyes widen like they were going to pop right out of his sockets, you just see his face contort into various as he tries to comprehend your words, he just jumps up like a rocket, staring at your nervous face. 

“Come on I'm like hunk a metal for a man, n’ you don’t wanna make ME uncomfortable? I’ll kill for one of yer’ kisses! Or anything!” 

His hand lands on your shoulders, looking at you with the most love-burning gaze you have ever seen from him, he was serious about this, about you. He presses his forehead against yours, tightening his hands on your shoulders. “Can I kiss ya silly then? Since you don't mind.”  

The second you said yes, he leaned in to kiss you on the lips, a bit rough, but he didn’t want to pull away, not more than a second.

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!

[yanderefarm]

I love the concept of the yandere reader, I also love Blade's personality, I think a reader who messes with his head and takes advantage of Mara's condition to make him believe that reader is the only one who cares and loves him, maybe implicit sex, well that's for you to decide

Sorry for the bad English, I loved your blog <3

blade x yandere male reader

cw; manipulation, abuse, yandere stuff, implied nsfw a/n; ill probably do a part 2 to this but i couldnt figure out how to bridge the gap from the manipulation to sexy times. also ur english is fine honey dw

ever since you had met blade you had been obsessed with him. with his cold nature, his beautiful eyes, his lovely voice, his adorable tits. he was bloody and broken and hurting but you could fix him. you could save him from himself.

it wasn't an unusual scene for blade to be in your medical office. he would heal anything naturally but he seemed to enjoy the cold metal slab you laid him on. and your company of course. tonight he was laying there like a corpse as he often did and right beside him, a finger twirling around his hair, you sat and smiled at him.

"so beautiful... i wish you knew..." you murmured to him sweetly as your finger accidentally tugged at his hair.

blade's blood red eyes shot open and you could see the mara leaves begin to trail up his arms. you would have to call kafka. you stood up and bolted for the intercom but blade was faster. he slammed your body against the wall with his hand around your throat. the force was enough to make your vision blur and you coughed as well as you could through your restricted throat. your hand reached weakly for the intercom, the tip of your pointer finger just barely brushing against it confirming it was out of reach and your hand fell limp. you need kafka.

you closed your eyes. why did you need kafka? what could she do for him that you couldn't? he's yours.

with a hoarse voice you spoke. "blade. its me."

and despite all odds he listened. his hand loosened the grip it had on your throat allowing you to suck in a deep breath. blade stood there wordlessly, like he was in a trance.

"blade..." you repeated his name once you could speak. his head perked up and looked at you blankly. "its ok. im here."

finally he let you go. you stumbled on your feet before you found your footing. you could freely call for anyone. but why did you need to? in fact... this was perfect.

you reached out a hand and intertwined it with blade's. "blade, love. im right here. you don't need anyone else but me."

"kafka." he spoke in his deep voice and her name sent a scowl to your face. but you calmed down. instead of letting him know how angry you were you rubbed the back of his hand with your thumb.

"oh blade... i can't believe you'd let her trick you..." you spoke gently, keeping a soft and caring tone. "she only cares about herself... she doesn't care about you. no one cares about you."

"jing yuan..." another name that had you grinding your teeth. you moved closer to him and grabbed his other hand in yours.

"no... blade... those people. they exiled you. remember?" you watched as recognition passed over his face.

"i remember."

"do you remember all the times kafka left you to die?" you reached up and cupped his cheek.

"i remember..."

"no one cares about you. elio, and the other stellaron hunters they just want a blade. i want you." you gently stroked his cheek and leaned down for a kiss, trying to ignore your heart pounding in your chest.

blade welcomed the kiss, allowing you to gently kiss his lips while the hand still in yours tightened his grip. you pulled him closer to your body with your free hand moving it around his waist. your tongue pushed at his lips until he granted you entrance and you deepened your kiss. you were over eager. this was everything you'd ever dreamed of.

as your bodies met in embrace you pushed him closer to the metal examine table until you heard him clatter into it. he pulled away from your mouth to look at the offending sound. and as he glared at it you snuck your hands into his top.

he turned back to you just as your hands reached his chest and he grabbed your wrists. his brows furrowed as he looked at you.

"don't worry blade. let me show you the euphoria of death again and again."

a blush crossed his cheeks.