#don't know why it took me so long to write this but it's like i had some kind of mental block

[crunchystarz]

Hello!

I’d like to request a oneshot with Kalim x fem s/o where it dawns on Kalim that his s/o is the only girl in an all boys school and now he’s starting to notice every stare and gift other guys are trying to give his s/o causing him to be a bit jealous and protective

(I hope the reader being fem is okay bc if not then you can totally ignore this request!!)

"Me jealous?!?...I'm totally jealous"

Kalim Al Asim x Fem!Reader

Summary: Kalim realizes he's not the only one who wants your love and attention

Cw- none, just fluff

Word count: 1545

A/N: GAH sorry this took so long I've been so busy with finals; also imma be so fr I basically blacked out when writing this so if it's not perfect again y'all always can leak my address;

Thank y'all sm for 100+ followers already like 🙁 y'all are so cool pls don't explode

Night Naven College was an all-boys school. Always has been. You were the first exception to that. You were the only girl who ended up becoming a student.

When Kalim first met you he never paid mine to that fact. To Kalim you were Just another student ; a new friend to be made. However, after getting closer to you the housewarden couldn't deny the fact you made his chest feel all fuzzy.

He's always surrounding himself with people but you're his favorite person to be around. He will always try and seek you out in a crowd because you were the one who made his heart beat so fast.

He loved the way you'd run a hand through his hair whenever he'd lay on your lap or the fact you were always down with whatever he came up with. How you truly did care for the people around you.

You were perfect in Kalim’s eyes.

Kalim ended up mentioning these feelings to Jamil offhandedly; Which after a little talk with him. He came to the conclusion he liked you. Not just in his usual friendly way either. He was head over heels.

However you being the only girl meant you had many eyes on you no doubt. It's always been that way since you became a student however Kalim only started paying attention to it once he recognized his crush.

He couldn't help the way his chest turned whenever another would give you big puppy eyes or would be overly friendly with you. He didn't get it. You weren't his…yet. So why does he get jealous so easily?

He couldn't blame others for liking you. You were well you. You were smart, kind and pretty, how couldn't they fall for you? He just wished he had all your attention sometimes even if it did feel selfish.

He'd often subconsciously glare at others who linger on you too long. He'd also be quick to kill you closer to him in a crowded area or lead you somewhere else all together just to get your full attention. It was clear to most people he had a thing for you.

Kalim fidgeted and watched as the pink haired boy shyly handed you a bracelet. It was just made out of colorful rubber bands. He could give you something much nicer… but you looked so happy receiving it.

Was it the thought that counted? Is that why you took it and smiled so brightly? Kalim slightly pouted to himself. He felt so uncomfortable. He wasn't used to being jealous. He wanted to be the one to make you smile like that.

The snowy hair bit his lip as he remembered the conversation he and Jamil had a few days earlier.

“You know Kalim you should tell her how you feel, she's not exactly going to be on the market forever you know” Jamil spoke, dusting the shelf that had started to collect dust.

Kalim huffed and groaned. Jamil was right. You weren't going to just be up for grabs forever. But how would he just tell you how he feels…

This was too complicated! Kalim wasn't used to not being able to express how he felt. He wants to tell you that you mean a lot to him. Which he does all the time but he wants you to know he doesn't mean it in the same way he means to his other friends.

He wants you to know you're special, that you're an even brighter star compared to him. Yet he's afraid that he'll mess everything up. What if you don't feel the same way about him? Kalims frown deepened and he sighed, slumping his shoulders.

Kalim played with the bracelet in his hands. Was this good enough? He made it himself with charms that reminded him of you. He didn't register the sound of footsteps approaching behind him.

“Good afternoon Kalim!” your voice rang out. The house warden basically sprung up, a smile spreading across his face upon hearing your voice. He turned and shoved the bracelet into his pocket.

“Hi, name!” He chirped, hugging you tightly. You let out a soft chuckle before wrapping your arms around him as well. He pulled away with a big dopey smile. You tilted your head and looked around.

“Jamil, is he not with you?” you asked. Kalim shook his head. You let out a hum before shrugging lightly. You flashed him a smile causing blood to rush to his cheeks.

“Well it's nice to catch you alone for once you always seem to be around someone, sometimes it's nice when it's just the two of us” you spoke, Kalim’s red eyes watched you.

He couldn't help the way his smile got bigger at your words. He felt the same way; it made his heart leap.

“Yup…just the two of us!” He exclaimed, his voice a little higher in pitch. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, his fingers running over the bracelet. He was about to speak before you cut him off.

“You don't have any more classes today right?” You asked, turning your full attention to the house warden once more. Kalim nodded his head.

“Great, would you mind if I hung out in scarabia with you?” You said with a small tilt of your head.

“No, I wouldn't mind at all!” The snowy hair perked up.

On the walk there it was like Kalim was hyper aware of every guy to look in your direction. It made him feel so bad for feeling so bitter about it but he couldn't help it. Couldn't these guys just mind their own business?

You seemed to take notice of his demeanor being off“You okay, Kalim?” you asked softly, your voice laced with concern. Your hand gently tugging on his sleeve.

Kalim blinked, snapping out of his thoughts. “Huh? Oh! Yeah, I’m fine! Totally fine!” He gave you a wide smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Odd.

You raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Are you sure? You’ve been kind of quiet.”

He swallowed nervously. You knew him too well. “I guess… I’ve just been thinking a lot lately,” he admitted, his voice softer.

You tilted your head, curiosity sparkling in your eyes. “Thinking? About what?”

Kalim hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about… you,” he confessed, his cheeks flushing a deep red. He couldn’t meet your gaze, his eyes glued to the ground.

“And how… you make me really happy.”

His words caught you off guard and you looked up at him. “I make you happy?” you repeated, a small smile tugging at your lips.

Kalim nodded quickly, his usual energy bubbling to the surface despite his nerves. “Yeah! Like, more than anyone else. I love being around you, and I always want to make you smile. But lately, I’ve been feeling… different.”

“And what do you mean by different?” You spoke moving closer to him. Your chest swirling with an …off but comforting feeling.

“Well it's just I… I get all weird whenever other guys start paying attention to you…” He admitted sheepishly. Your grin turned a bit more teasing.

“Awh, sounds like you're jealous,” you teased. His face redder a bit and he looked away.

“I …am” he responded. You weren't expecting him to just openly admit it. You blinked and recollected your thoughts. You cleared your throat before speaking.

“Well that's actually kind of nice… to know you care enough to get jealous over me out of all people” you said, your tone a bit quieter now.

“Well of course I care about you…”

It got quiet for a bit. Neither of you speaking, just watching each other.

Kalim fidgeted with the bracelet still in his pocket, finally pulling it out and holding it out to you. “ Oh I made this for you. I’ve been trying to find the right time to give it to you…"

Your eyes softened as you reached out to take the bracelet, your fingers brushing against his. The charms were small but thoughtful .

“Kalim… it’s beautiful,” you whispered, slipping it onto your wrist.

“Thank y-”

“I-I like you!” he blurted out, his words tumbling over each other in his excitement. “Not just as a friend. I mean… I really really like you. You’re amazing, and I don’t want to keep it to myself anymore.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, but your smile grew even brighter. “Kalim…”

He held his breath, waiting for your response. His heart pounded so loudly he was sure you could hear it.

“I like you too,” you said softly. “I’ve liked you for a while now.”

Kalim’s eyes lit up like fireworks, a beaming grin spreading across his face. “You do? Really?”

You nodded, reaching out to take his hand. “Really. You’re the brightest part of my day, Kalim.”

Unable to contain his excitement, Kalim pulled you into a tight hug, spinning you around. You yelped in surprise.

As he set you down, still holding your hand, he looked at you with a warmth that made your cheeks flush.

“So… does this mean I can be your boyfriend?” he asked with a hopeful grin.

You chuckled softly and nodded. “I’d love that.”

Kalim’s heart soared. He never imagined this moment could feel so perfect. You were his now — and he was yours. Nothing could make him happier.

Jamil would never hear the end of how much he loves his girlfriend.

MASTERLIST

[floralscented]

the amount of times i've had to address this because she literally will not fucking stop is insane. @artyandink, for the last fucking time, leave me alone <3 stop coming in my inbox anonymously trying to get me to talk about your fics & promote them thinking i can't tell it's you. stop asking to use my ideas even after you've BEEN BLOCKED. stop keeping tabs on me to see what i'm writing for now so you can start writing for it. i'm dead serious it's about to give me a fucking aneurysm.

it is not subtle. and as stupid as you think i am, from the way you did all of this & are still fucking continuing, you sure do like the things i put out! i am noticing it. people are SHOWING me it. move the fuck on. find your own voice! stop trying to steal mine and what i'm writing about. i'm tired of speculating on why you are doing this and just want it to fucking END.

writing clark kent & making bots for him just because i started it is fucking mental. naming people in your fic bonnie & clyde after the au that i made that you asked to use, and still did anyways even if it was private, when i said no is MENTAL.

on this note, anyone that follows me that also supports or interacts with arty, please show yourselves out, too. if you want to know why, look here & here since i've had to address this publicly three times now. but i'm tired of going about my life & pretending that over on her side of the internet, she's not STILL taking my ideas, or using the ones that she already has, because she doesn't have a single original bone in her body.

no! i do not know about your bodyguard & president fanfic, arty! because i did not ever actually fucking read it!

and if by the grace of god, somehow, this isn't you ( which is highly doubtable ) i'm sorry to these anons that this two faced, five identitied grown woman has made me this weary to have to respond like this. i am not usually hostile, i don't think, but constantly having her shit in my dms, having her try to make me promote her shit, is INSANE.

i have moved on. you are the one that cannot keep my name out of your mouth to other people trying to salvage your fall from grace, saying that whatever i'm saying isn't true, and then coming into my messages the one other time within EIGHT MINUTES of me unblocking you, saying that you're so sorry that this is happening and feigning ignorance. go to hell. i tried to handle this civilly and privately and every single time instead you took to your tumblr feed to try and paint me as a bad guy, or discredit everything that YOU PUT ME THROUGH. so truly, go to hell <3 and actually fucking listen to me and leave me alone. i do not talk about you or think about you when you're not actively doing this shit, so stop monitoring my account and especially stop stalking my cai just because i cant block you on there.

and while you're at it, find some creativity on your own. it'd do you some good in the long run to actually make something yourself and not piggyback off of others & their success and THEIR WORKS.

[mutantceri]

Research Note 125: 5 Therians Progress

Today was supposed to be a day of work on equipment, but somehow 5 of my friends had appointments today! So I stopped in on all of them. These notes may be important one day, but I also just love being able to write everyone's progress down.

[Artwork done amazingly and perfectly by https://www.furaffinity.net/view/59179875/ . Go. Check. Them. Out!]

Blue: Filling In I mention her a lot, but Dr. Blue has been one of the leading people on the biomedical side. She also has been instrumental in my transition, not only helping as I realized who...what I was, but helping facilitate. Sometimes, a little offputting, but always means well. (I wouldn't have anyone else, she is the leading mind in her field across the pond.) She had decided to transition a year prior to myself. Part of her always wanted to be a dragon, but most of her decided to be an otter. Once she moved over to this side of the Earth, she started transition. Our first few times working together, her skin had already turned color in patches. As her body changed, the fur patching continued. She's often explained it in her medical terminology, but it might as well be an alien language to me. The gist, her skin is having a hard time changing even though the rest of her body is rapidly accepting. It's been quite amazing seeing her come out of the lab each week a bit different anatomically, yet still patchy human skin. Likely, that's why we stay close, both have remnants of human we don't exactly want sticking around. We try to stay social outside of work. Outside, she's a playful sociable squeaky otter. Yet at work, she's laser-focused and stoic as all hell. Today, she wasn't supposed to be at work, but she had to fill in for one of the techs whose treatment has left them too sore to come in. Surprised me when her blue-haired head turned the corner to throw me all of the data to load into the machines. And as usual, her seemingly grumpy ass stoically just, delivered them. In return, I smiled back and excitedly took them with a "Thaaaank youuuu, have a good day!" One day, her otterness will show at work too.

Tracy: Closer (KoboldHRT) There has been an... unfortunate situation created by other players in the animal/species HRT space. Some patients haven't actually been given proper treatment, and effectively have been turned to adjacent species. As far as I understand, our lab may be unethical for military practices, but experimentation without consent is next level. So, a team led by Dr. Blue and I have been working on effectively species transition, transition. Taking someone and trying to steer their body back to their preferred path. It doesn't take someone to 100% where they belong, but helps. We figured it's also a good way to help the hybrid species take form better.

My friend Tracy was one of a pair of sisters who chose to be dragons. Unfortunately, their doctors gave them treatment to become a kobold... If you know anything about the difference, you can see the problems. Tracy has been in treatment for 4 years, and now a year of adjacent transition. It's been hard, and long but she is progressing and growing better than expected. Hopefully, soon we will see dragon features start to come out. Then maybe, if we can find her sister, we can treat her too. But that's a story better told by her.

Pigeon: Next Steps (Pigeon HRT) It might shock you, but my friend named Pigeon, is a pigeon. She's near the end of the first phase of her transition, and looks the part of a rainbow birb. We've grown close over writing, and her's about her transition is phenomenal. But, she didn't just want to be a Pigeon, but a plush pigeon. Yes, you read that right. Plump, soft, full of stuffing. But science can't turn you inanimate. But, thanks to the mutation in my skin that left me fuzzy instead of scaly, we can get close. Quite a bit of editing and a bit of science I don't understand, make it possible. I had to have multiple sessions where they removed grafts to try and figure out the right combinations to create a similar mutation for a bird. But they got it down to this: First, her feathers will shorten, but fuzz up to be a bit floofy. Second, we will turn her body's fat production into cells that have large air pockets, simulating stuffing. She will have to gain so much, girth. Weight won't really change. This will also help immobilize her so she matches being more plush. To break the news, we found an adorable mini pigeon plushie, and at what was supposed to be her last appointment, we gave it to her. "Oh my god! She's adorable!" Pigeon coo'd at me. "She's you in a few years girl!" Her face froze, and then it hit her hard. It's so worth all the work to hear all the happy chirps!

T&R: Therapy Together (Hydra HRT) If you've been reading anything about species HRT you'll know there are plenty of dragons and adjacent chosen species. But rare few decide to not only change species; but to use the opportunity to work their split personality out, literally. I met T&R when I was shadowing an anesthesiologist for a plastic surgeon at another clinic. Their heads had split but not... separated, so invasive action was taken by their doctor. It was mutually nice knowing someone who not only was the same species, but had another voice in the head, so we stayed in touch as they recovered. After they recovery, they're doctor recommended more gene editing, and they just so happened to know someone in the field. So today they visited for a session, and afterward, we met up. For being split for awhile, they were still a bit out of sync. When I toured them through the backrooms of the lab, one head ducked under a pipe but didn't warn the other and smacked straight into their side. But of all the things they were learning, it was their size changes we all talked about the most of. Their necks have gotten to where they are more of the snake type, and they are very disoriented by it. I can relate, I've stretched about 4 inches everywhere in the last 2 months and it's very noticeable. I'm excited to see them next, they're progressing so fast compared to most, and have so many odd features that are coming out due to their complex genealogy and the decision to split. Essentially, I'm excited for my friend. Tasha: Fuzz I have a friend who's an artist, who we often use to help concept species. It took a while, lots of doing works for others, before long, she was the subject of her work. One day, she walked into my office looking for a way into the labs queue. Of course, we snuck her in. Tasha associated with cats the most, but not like a tiger, just a domestic long hair meow meow. What we didn't expect, was how well her body would take to that species. A bit too well. Everything seems to come in *fast* with her transition. I hadn't seen her in about three months due to our schedules not meeting up. When we did, I could barely recognize her. She had fully developed ears, paw pads, and a long, flowy, flippy tail. But one thing was missing, and REALLY missing. Not a single hair of her fur has come in yet. The skin has dyed and changed, clearly, melanin underneath is doing something. No fur though. Just her normal hair on her head. (It seems most of us don't lose it, more on that another note someday.) We hugged, had the usual pleasantries, and then the big question almost instantly. I've assured friends in their treatments time and time again, but this one is literally just a waiting game. And that's exactly what I told her. She's clearly nervous, but doing so well. I can't wait to see her face when it all comes, because, with her luck, it'll all come at once.

[inlovewithmyhyperfixations]

Breakdown. Microfic- words: 599 Breath. Breath. Breath. That’s all James could tell himself as he sat on the floor, the bathroom as cold as he felt. His thoughts were going too fast and his sobs were getting louder, but he couldn’t let anyone hear. He wouldn’t.  He balled up his hand and bit it, just so his sobs wouldn’t be heard. He squeezed his eyes shut, his head starting to throb, but he couldn’t seem to stop crying.  Stop it. You’re supposed to be strong. You have to help everyone else. His brain was loud. So so so loud. That voice in the back of his head, that stupid, sickening little voice. It told him he couldn’t be doing this. It told him he was useless. It told him if he didn’t help his friends, that he didn’t matter. It told him that if he couldn’t help, he might as well not be alive.  Another sob escaped his lips, and he buried his face in his hands, his hands grabbing at his hair, at anything to let himself know he was alive.  “James..?” Shit.  Shit shit shit shit shit. It was Regulus. James wiped his eyes and stood up just as he heard footsteps enter the room. “Hi Reggie.” — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — (Regulus’ pov) James was smiling..his face looked happy, but his eyes..Regulus knew from the moment he looked at James’ eyes that something was wrong.  “Are you..are you ok?” He asked, and there it was; as soon as that question escaped his lips, James’ eyes looked broken.  “Of course I’m fine Reg, why wouldn’t I be?” He replied, his eyes only looking dimmer as he spoke.  He was trying to hide it, and Regulus could tell. He wouldn’t let him do this to himself. James was allowed to not be ok. He was just as much allowed as anybody, and he would make sure he knew that.  He walked towards him and slowly sat him down, looking at him intently. “James..please don’t lie to me..ok?” Regulus spoke gently, and he had never heard his voice be this soft for..anyone, really. But this was James, if anyone needed this, it was him. James opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t. His eyes filled with tears and his breath caught in his throat and it seemed like words wouldn’t work.  Regulus just looked at him, cupping his face in his hands, and as soon as his hands touched his face, the most gut wrenching sob escaped his lips.  The noise, the mere thought of James crying hurt so so much, and Regulus knew he would do anything to help him.  He hugged James tight, stroking his hair while his face was buried in his neck. “It’s ok..you’ll be ok..I promise..” Regulus said in James’ ear. But James just shook his head. “Reggie, I- I don’t want to-” Another sob cut off what he was saying, but Regulus understood, and he just held James closer. James was hurting, and Regulus would make sure he would let in as much light for him as he did for Regulus. “I can’t..it’s too mu-much..” He said, his voice muffled. Regulus wished he could take it all away, all his pain, all his stress. James didn’t deserve to feel like this, no one did. “It’s ok James..I’m here for you, ok?”  James just nodded, and Reglus continued to hold him; he would stay with James, no matter how long it took for his pain to go away, Regulus would help him no matter what. 

(hahaha totally didn't self-project while writing James' pov ahahaha what I would never-)

(I don't rlly like this one :/)

[cha-melodius]

May I ask you about your writing??? First of all and possibly most importantly, how do you do it? How do you find inspiration and such? How do you make it happen? Because I sat down with a really juicy idea not long ago and I was excited and it was incredibly hard. I deleted it, I was embarrassed. So how do you first, come up with a great idea (which you do you write such cool stuff!) and then bring it to fruition? I’ve always been a decent writer but I was really frustrated with the fic I set out to write!!!

Hey anon! Sorry for sitting on this for a while but it came in the night before a big academic conference for me, so I've had almost no time for anything, sadly.

First off, thank you so much for the compliment on my writing! A lot of the direct answers to your questions are not very satisfying, tbh. Ideas come to me from everywhere—things I watch, read, random internet things—and how I bring it to fruition mostly involves a lot of planning. I got a lot happier with my work when I started making outlines for my fics, so I always know where I want to go with the story and how I'm getting there, versus meandering around aimlessly.

I'm guessing that there was something about your idea that was particularly challenging, since you said that you've always been a decent writer but found what you produced frustrating. Since I don't know the details I'm gonna give some advice that will hopefully cover a few different aspects. And first, a short list, and then the details under the cut because I'm a wordy bitch.

Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.

Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.

Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.

1. Just keep writing. It can take a while to find your voice.

I started writing fanfic (or, re-started, because I wrote when I was young and then took a looooong break) to get the stories out of my head, and my first fics were not great lol. They were also for a rarepair and approximately 5 people read them, so there wasn't much pressure I suppose. I was just putting them on AO3 because I figured why not? And then I just kept writing, off and on for different fandoms, until the writing bug really caught me and I started producing a lot more, about five years ago. But it probably took me ~20 fics (several of which were quite long) before I'd consider my stuff to be decent. Whether you share your early works or not is up to you, but in general I'd recommend it because there's a good chance someone will love it (even if you consider it to be substandard) and that can help you feel better about your own writing. I didn't start out good at writing action, but I wrote (and read, see below) consistently in a lot of action-heavy fandoms, so I got a lot of practice. I also feel like the more I wrote, the more ideas I got, and the more unique ideas I got.

You occasionally see someone in fandom who's like "this is my first fic!" and it gets really popular or and lots of hype or whatever, but that's not the typical experience. Most of us start out writing like crap. It's ok. It gets better.

2. Get help. Seek out 'subject experts' and people who you think are good at writing the kinds of stories you want to write.

Ok, so you wrote a first draft you were disappointed in. Ask yourself what was disappointing about it? Do you feel like the beats aren't hitting, or the action is wooden, or the language is awkward? The great thing about fandom and fanfiction is that there are so many people that are willing to help out as beta readers or even just someone to talk to. I understand that getting a beta reader can seem daunting. You don't want someone to criticize your work, or it might seem embarrassing to show someone else a work you feel bad about. But if you get someone else to read it, you'll have the chance to both hear good things about it and also get advice about things you're uncertain about. People come to fandom from all walks of life and I'm a big fan of asking for help if you're writing about something you're not super familiar with. I've never actually been to therapy, so getting help from @celeritas2997 was absolutely critical for me to feel good about my couple's therapy AU. Also you can ask people for advice if they write the kinds of fics you want to write—I've had multiple people ask me for help with their action scenes, and I'm always happy to lend an eye and give advice.

Also, related to this: it's ok if you don't like your first draft. But don't delete it! Put it aside, whether you ask someone else to look at it or not, and come back to it a while later with fresh eyes. It may not be as terrible as you thought! Or maybe there are parts you still hate, but there are other parts that you can work on and revise.

3. Read a lot, and broadly, especially in the genre you want to write.

Want to write sci-fi? Read a lot of sci-fi novels. Read a lot of sci-fi AUs. Break out of your fandom and read fics in fandoms you don't know—I used to do this a lot and it was one of the most important steps in my process of finding my own voice as well as understanding how stories are built. When you read in only one fandom, you get used to a lot of the same voices and types of stories, but there is SO MUCH out there. I've been known to scroll through the 'Enemies to Lovers' tag on occasion, but also I will go into fandoms for media I know but have no strong connection to, don't want to write in but know the characters, and read those. I spent a lot of time reading X-men, Good Omens, Witcher, even MCU juggernauts like Stucky even though I don't really ship them. I know it probably sounds crazy to tell you to go read other fandoms when (I'm assuming you're RWRB) there's so much in this one, but I do think it's valuable. This one is not only for getting exposed to a lot of writing styles, but also lots of ideas. I've definitely gotten a lot of ideas that spun off from something else I read.

I feel like none of this is particularly revolutionary advice, but I hope it at least gives you (and anyone else who manages to read this far lol) some confidence to keep going and go after those stories you want to write. Everyone—me, popular fandom writers, professional authors—started out just writing a lot, and they improved over time.

Most importantly: just keep going. You can do it!!

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[daz4i]

wait so chuuya has angel imagery about him in stormbringer. and dazai is referred to as a demon on more than one occasion. and. hold on. wait. I'm going insane. hold on.

[sophistired18]

No one talk to me. I fell in love.

[britneyshakespeare]

Had the extremely upsetting experience of a mutual of like 6 years going off on me for occasionally making posts about supporting Harris because apparently that makes me a g n cide denier who refuses to learn and grow, with all of my views just being assumed not even from what I've told them I believe or what I've posted before, but just because I DON'T post particularly the kind of things they THINK I should be. When I pointed out how much they were just completely assuming about stuff I'd never talked to them about, I was told it doesn't matter what I do in real life or "care" about if I simply disagree with their conclusion and vote for her anyway. Like they were absolutely not sorry for the level of maliciousness they not just assumed of my character, but for some reason thought appropriate to bring directly to me before unfollowing me. No apology whatsoever for how discomforting or upsetting that might be and certainly no acknowledgment that I could disagree with them and still be a good person. I just got another even longer rant about how they fundamentally can't fuck with me because of this one thing, no matter WHAT else I do in my real life (which I pointed out that they do not know), and how I'm directly supporting fascism.

Like seriously what is it about Tumblr that makes people think they know someone based off of occasional posts? There were just such DEEP assumptions they were making of me and going off of very little or absolutely nothing. Around the time I first became mutuals with that person I used to express my personality and beliefs and talk about what was going on in my life a lot more openly, but I've significantly scaled back on doing that in many ways for many reasons. One of my major ones is privacy and the way I've had strangers outside my followers and following circles just find random things I say and dogpile me for it. I was fundamentally changed after some T Fs did that to me like 3 years ago. I also just didn't have many conversations w that person anymore (I message people in general on here like 10x less than I did circa 2018-2019, which I'm somewhat sorry about!). My point is to say I think this person felt comfortable assuming that they knew me, especially who I am in 2024 at the age of 25, much better than they actually did.

One of the specific things they accused me of was being afraid of learning and growing (because I don't perform social media activism on here like they think I should). Like AFRAID to take criticism. When again I've never received criticism from them or had to respond to any criticism on here before as pertaining to my views on... well, absolutely any of the issues they accused me of not caring about. They essentially treated it as if the only thing in the world I cared about was the US election and characterized me as the most out-of-touch liberal they could possibly imagine, because I'm not "pushing" Kamala Harris to be better (Oh?? Should I do that on here?? Does she read my blog??).

And most hypocritically what they said was that I only *sometimes* *vaguely* post pro-Harris things (I often post like 5 or fewer things in a day though?). But here's the kicker. "Because I know I'll get shit for it. And rightfully so."

Really????? Not a single person, anon or not, in my messages or in a tagged post or anything, has ever given me shit before for saying who I'm voting for. I'm actually NOT afraid of "getting shit" for that opinion, I just don't start fights with people who are anti-voting. And why should I??? I genuinely don't believe in trying to change the minds of strangers on the internet about that sort of thing. I'm just not confrontational about it; that is so not the same thing as being "afraid of getting shit." I'm not posting ENOUGH about my support for Harris, therefore I'm afraid. But therefore they can also make all these assumptions about me being their strawman for an ignorant Harris supporter.

I'm afraid of getting shit but I still post anyway? But if I weren't afraid of getting shit I'd be posting a lot more?? This is ALL based on their assumptions of what my blog *should* look like, based on what I really and truly believe. My level of posting every now and then is an accurate gauge of my feelings on complex, sensitive, global issues. Because I'm voting for the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm ok sharing pretty much just that little glimpse of myself.

I really don't think that person knows just how inappropriate and insulting that is to just say all of that to me. Like they really know what's going on in my head. Their first message began and ended with like "I'm sorry I love you I just can't take it anymore" but they clearly weren't sorry enough to try and be more respectful to me, and they didn't love me enough not to default to extremely ungenerous assumptions and attacking me based off of those instead of any actual words I've said that they take issue with.

Online radicalization is real and it's not necessarily bad because your political views can start to fall well out of the contemporary Overton window. The way you find it appropriate to treat people whose views, however common, seem to fundamentally misalign with yours... that does matter. You can't just assume the worst of everyone and then act on that in how you approach them as individuals. And then be shocked that you don't stay friends with them. You can't be confrontational with someone about an issue you've never had an honest conversation about, and then expect them to take your bad faith in them as reasonable well-meaning criticism.

I'm afraid of criticism??? I'm afraid of criticism. No I'm not. This person and I have never had an issue before where they criticized me and I got harshly defensive. It was ALL projection. The entire tone of their messages was as if all their anti-voting posts recently were somehow in communication with the occasional go-vote-for-Harris posts that I make. That's not a conversation. I don't post for your satisfaction. I don't post in "response" to my mutuals I disagree with. I just post what's on my mind, sometimes, about some things. I really again can't stress enough how baffled I am by this

[volivolition]

any updates about your fics?? :0

(pls don’t feel pressured to respond to this if you’re busy!!)

!! hello anon :3!! <333

ive been writing a specific part for Unstoppable Force, where volition and harry talking to each other. and oh holy shit this fucking conversation is like!!! YEAH it's in character and i know what to write, but it hurts so fucking bad to actually write it, help me hgkjg

while the volition and electrochemistry thing is the main plot, on the side there's also kim who just transferred precincts, and harry who has a crush on him. and the kim/harry parallels to volition/echem... "i'm putting up a front of reserved responsibility and i have to repress any emotion that could compromise my commitment to my duties." immovable object and "i feel like the worst kind of mess and i want to get better but i don't know if i deserve to be helped or loved because im a mess." unstoppable force :']

but VOLITION IS STILL A SKILL, SO HE'S ADVISING HARRY WITH THIS PERSPECTIVE. so when harry says "kim shouldn't like me, huh?" then volition (who is projecting himself and echem onto kim and harry's relationship) swallows and says, "you're right. kim shouldn't like you, and if he does, he feels like he's making a mistake. he probably wants - more than anything in the world - to stop feeling that way, and for you to stop feeling that way about him."

and harry (who is taking this literally because he doesn't know what's happening between voli and echem) sadly agrees "yeah. liking me will probably get in the way of his work. he shouldn't want to love me, that just... wouldn't make sense for him. im only making him worse."

BOYS. ITS A FEEDBACK LOOP. ITS AN ECHO CHAMBER. YOU'RE ONLY FUELING EACH OTHER'S ISSUES. STOP STOP STOP HGJKG

[dontthinkwedontnoticeyou]

I have 0 writing skills, but my brain keeps tossing concepts at me. Sometimes these ideas get pretty complex, but they’re never quite complete. So, I guess I’ll just throw this out there as the lamest form of fanfiction ever created? (If anyone wants to adopt this concept—go for it, you have my blessing, for I will never expand it further!)

~*~

Concept:

This is a The Raven Cycle/Dreamer Trilogy Alternate Universe (AU) with no magic. The characters are aged up, and while they all knew each other in school and were once close (in many different ways), life has drifted them apart. The story takes place mostly in Washington, D.C.

Characters & Plot(holes):

Adam Parrish works in the District Attorney's office, involved in a high-profile case against Colin Greenmantle, a notorious criminal mastermind. Greenmantle’s been involved in drug trafficking, forgery, blackmail, and more, but Adam can’t nail him—there’s no solid proof. It’s driving him mad until he begins receiving anonymous tips. Skeptical at first, Adam soon realizes they’re legit, and with this help, he’s able to land the first serious blow against Greenmantle.

Richard Gansey III is now a young, popular senator, considered a political prodigy. While admired by many, he’s also made powerful enemies in the political arena. Over the years, he’s distanced himself from his old friends, although he crosses paths with Adam occasionally, usually at official events. He also runs into Declan Lynch, the personal assistant to Senator Seondeok Cheng, though their interactions remain distant and formal—there’s an unspoken tension between them, and, additionally, Gansey and Senator Cheng often clash.

Joseph Kavinsky works for Greenmantle, managing drug operations. Because of reasons [Plot Hole #1], he decides that if he wants to survive, he needs to escape Greenmantle’s grasp. But no one leaves Greenmantle’s web in one piece. To get out, Kavinsky starts feeding information to Adam—yes, he’s the anonymous tipster! Once Adam discovers Kavinsky’s identity, they have a heated confrontation, and Adam nearly shuts him down. But Kavinsky drops a bombshell: he has proof that Greenmantle orchestrated the murders of Niall and Aurora Lynch, Ronan’s parents, all those years ago. This tips the scales, and Adam decides to continue working with him. First, however, he needs to check with Ronan.

Ronan Lynch has made some bad decisions in life and is estranged from everyone—Adam, Gansey, even Declan. When Adam visits him at his home, back in Virginia, he’s slightly surprised to find Ronan under house arrest, an ankle monitor keeping him confined to the Barns. There’s tension between them from the start, a mix of unresolved feelings, hurt, and something more difficult to name. Ronan, being direct as ever, quickly gets Adam to admit why he’s really there. When Adam reveals that Kavinsky claims to have proof about his parents’ murder, Ronan snarls, "You want my blessing or what, Parrish?" and takes a swig from his beer.

When Adam returns to Washington, he finds Kavinsky waiting for him in his apartment with Hennessy, who works for Greenmantle in the art forgery department. Hennessy has somehow discovered that Kavinsky plans to betray Greenmantle [Plot Hole #2] and decides to join him in taking Greenmantle down. Her motivation? She’s tired of Greenmantle threatening her sister Jordan, who’s trying to live a normal, legal life—Jordan has recently started seeing a guy she met at a fundraiser at the art gallery where she works, a fundraiser organized by Senator Cheng (or rather, her assistant, Declan—yes, that guy Jordan's seeing).

Senator Cheng, although powerful, finds herself caught in Greenmantle’s web. He’s blackmailing her, forcing her to vote his way in the Senate, something that frustrates her deeply. Declan notices her odd behavior, which threatens her political career. When he confronts her, she makes a vague comment about someone pulling the strings behind the scenes, leaving Declan to piece it together. Declan eventually reaches out to Gansey, who reveals that Adam might be on the verge of exposing something big.

Kavinsky tells Adam about a major upcoming drug deal that could be Greenmantle’s undoing. The two of them, occassionally joined by Hennessy, work late into the night at Adam’s penthouse, preparing their plan. And sure, Kavinsky is a pain in the ass in many ways, but he’s also pretty smart and cunning, and quite good looking, Adam reckons. He can be quite funny, too.

Things escalate when Greenmantle discovers Kavinsky’s betrayal [Plot Hole #3]. There’s a dramatic car chase through the streets of Washington, with Kavinsky on the phone with Adam, telling him to get Hennessy to safety. Prokopenko, one of Greenmantle’s thugs, shoots out the tires of Kavinsky’s white Mitsubishi, leading to a spectacular crash. The Mitsu is totalled. By some miracle, Kavinsky survives, but he’s injured and unconscious. With a crowd gathering, Prokopenko can’t finish the job, and Kavinsky is taken to the hospital. Adam and Hennessy quickly sneak him out through the back door once he’s stable enough and drive him out of town. ("Make sure he’s asleep. Or better, tie him up." "Why?" "Because if he knows where we’re heading, he might try to jump ouf of the car.")

They’re going to the Barns.

Adam stashes Kavinsky at Ronan’s house, despite Ronan’s fury at the idea. ("I know what happened between you two back then, but I don’t have a choice, Ronan. All the information about your parents... it’s from him.") Ronan’s pissed but restrained by his ankle monitor, so he’s stuck with them. Hennessy calls her sister Jordan, warning her to lay low, and Ronan overhears their strained conversation. He notices how similar Hennessy and Jordan’s relationship is to his with Declan—complicated and distant.

Adam stays at the Barns until Kavinsky is better. They’re forced to wait and adjust their original plan. Adam is on the phone with Gansey constantly, and Gansey’s political connections become crucial to the new strategy [Plot Hole #4].

As Adam, Ronan, and Kavinsky are forced into close proximity, their complicated pasts and unresolved feelings rise to the surface. What starts as antagonism and old attraction gradually turns into an exploration of a polyamorous relationship, surprising all three. The emotional depth, tension, and vulnerability between them add complexity to their interactions.

Meanwhile, Greenmantle, desperate to find Hennessy, manipulates Jordan into luring her sister out. However, this backfires—Declan storms into the art auction John Wick-style to rescue Jordan. During the escape, Declan is shot, but he still manages to get her to safety. His bravery and injury end up deepening his relationship with Jordan (also, he’s undeniably sexy while bleeding, so I can't leave it out).

[Something something something, action, drama, romance, gay porn, etc]

Greenmantle’s empire begins to collapse. Senator Cheng uses her political maneuvering, Gansey applies his influence, and Adam, with Kavinsky’s help, provides the legal expertise to tighten the net around Greenmantle. In the end, Greenmantle is brought down, but the characters are left to deal with the aftermath.

Declan and Jordan’s relationship becomes serious, while Ronan and Declan begin to rebuild their brotherly bond, slowly healing old wounds. Adam, Ronan, and Kavinsky navigate their new, unconventional relationship as they embrace the possibility of polyamory.

Happily ever after.

Curtain.

[bookshelf-in-progress]

It's a good sign I'm recovering from my creative slump that I was able to brainstorm a story that makes me laugh.

[griseldabanks]

"I trust you with my life." for John and Sherlock

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

It had been a lousy day. Back-to-back patients that left him only fifteen minutes for lunch, someone had bumped into him on the way to work and he'd dropped his phone on the sidewalk and cracked the screen, and on top of everything else, it was pouring rain. As he hurried down Baker Street, all he could think about was sitting in his chair with a nice cup of tea. At the moment, he didn't even care if Sherlock was still stuck in the same cloud of gloom he'd been in all week. At least this latest bit of doldrums in their caseload had left Sherlock quiet, rather than bouncing off the walls and shrieking away on his violin.

Yes. Some quiet and warmth, that was all he needed.

As soon as John stepped through the front door and hung up his dripping raincoat, he realized it wasn't going to be as quiet as he'd hoped. The sound of the violin echoed down the stairwell to him, but at least it was an actual song this time, instead of erratic notes that belonged in the soundtrack of a horror movie.

Sherlock stood in front of the window in his dressing gown, playing what seemed like a complicated piece as he watched the rain fall. John thought he was beginning to get a sense of Sherlock's moods from what he chose to play. When he was really thinking hard, he would often play something from Bach or Vivaldi, as if its steady rhythm kept his mind focused. John didn't know much about music, but whatever Sherlock was playing right now sounded complex enough that it probably required more of his attention. Something to keep his mind occupied when there was nothing else at hand.

John made a beeline for the kettle. While he waited for the water to boil, he crossed over to the fridge to grab the milk.

Only to discover they were out of milk.

And bread.

And eggs.

“Sherlock.” He ran his hand down his face, wiping off the last bits of rainwater. “You didn't go to the store, did you?”

Sherlock kept playing, fingers flying over his instrument with flawless precision.

“Sherlock!”

“What?” Sherlock snapped, stopping abruptly and whirling around to face him.

“I told you we were out of milk,” John said, trying and failing to keep his voice down. “I asked you to go to the store, and you said you would.”

“What? No, I didn't.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn't.”

“Yes, you did!” In the back of his mind, John was aware that they were starting to sound like children, but he couldn't stop. “I left you a list and everything!” He picked up the slip of paper on the kitchen table. It didn't seem to have moved since he'd left it there that morning.

“I doubt it,” Sherlock snapped, tucking his bow under his arm and stalking across the room. “I would have remembered something as simple as that.”

“Yeah, unless you 'deleted' it from your 'hard drive,'” John said, rolling his eyes as he passed the shopping list over. He'd even gone to the trouble of spelling out exactly which brands to get, to make it as simple and straightforward as possible so Sherlock wouldn't somehow end up getting shampoo instead of milk again.

The kettle switched off, and John turned to the cupboard where they kept the tea. With a sigh, he shuffled through the various options of herbal tea that wouldn't require milk. “I trust you with my life, but I can't even trust you to do the shopping....”

Sherlock didn't reply as John put the teabag in his mug and poured water over it. When he turned around to head for his chair, he found Sherlock standing stock-still in the doorway, staring blankly at him.

“Sherlock? You okay?”

He just continued to stare, one hand holding his violin in a precarious grip, one clutching the shopping list.

John waved his hand in front of Sherlock's eyes to get his attention. “Hello? Earth to Sherlock!”

Finally, Sherlock blinked and seemed to snap out of his reverie. “You...trust me with your life?”

John frowned. “Yes?” He waited for the punchline, the moment Sherlock would somehow turn it all around and end up mocking him.

Instead, Sherlock just blinked rapidly, as if the thought baffled him. “Really?”

“Yes. I think you've saved it enough times by now to have earned that, at least.”

Sherlock still looked flummoxed. “No, but you...truly? You really, honestly trust me with your life?”

“Yes. Now can I sit down, or are you going to make me stand here to drink my tea?”

With a start, Sherlock stepped aside and let John pass. John sat down in his comfortable chair with a sigh of relief and took his first sip. Chamomile hadn't been what he'd been craving all day, but it wasn't unpleasant. Maybe if the rain let up a little, he'd pop down to the corner store once he'd finished his tea and....

John followed Sherlock with his eyes as he slowly walked over to his chair and sat down, moving as gingerly as a bird-watcher trying not to frighten away a rare bird. He watched John as if he were the most fascinating specimen he'd ever seen.

Continuing to sip his tea, John determined not to let the staring faze him. He'd endured much worse from Sherlock, after all. He hadn't intended his words to have such an impact on Sherlock, but he supposed it wasn't a normal sort of thing for people to say in this day and age.

But then, nothing around Sherlock was ever 'normal.'

[discoreptile]

Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!

[art-from-the-pantry]

I am insanely in Love with this drawing. Tumblr likes to botch the resolution tho, so if you want to see it in its full glory please click it (or open it in another tab, that also works)

[malachitezmeyka]

I think That Woman is genuinely trying to kill me