#don't get used to it lmao- I had this done a couple days ago
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this thing (the christmussy) appears and you slide down it
mazel tov you're now in an alternate universe.
you go on facebook and you see a post in the group for an app you have. every month there's a new theme announcement, and you see march has just been announced. it's cherry blossom themed; a cherry blossom dress for your avatar, a backdrop of cherry blossom trees for your virtual room. you think it's beautiful and really well-done.
you glance down and see the comments. there are many people upset that the theme isn't purim, with others reassuring them they can still get purim items in the shop and explaining that the app already did purim for the march event two years ago and doesn't want to repeat. but people are still upset, because they'd been saving up their in-game currency to buy purim items. this doesn't totally make sense because the event items don't cost any currency. but it's clear everyone expected a purim event, and that they feel a cherry blossom event would have been more appropriate for april because flowering trees are more of a pesach thing. a couple commenters mention that they don't celebrate purim and so they really appreciate that the team chose an inclusive theme, and that they think the cherry blossom theme is beautiful.
one thread goes something like this:
chana: ah, i was hoping for something more silly and purim-y
maryam: sorry, but not everyone celebrates purim. besides there are actually five different holidays celebrated in march, including purim. even then, not everyone celebrates those holidays. it's not all about one group of people. everyone needs to feel included.
chana: i'm fully aware, thanks. the silly purim is not the same as the religious purim, anyway. hamentashen are not in the torah. i know muslims who celebrate the commercial purim. i'm a jew who has done lots of interfaith work, by the way.
you notice it seems like several of maryam's responses aren't showing up: facebook glitch or were they deleted? or maybe chana is just so worked up she's commenting many times?
chana: in short i was asking for a springtime theme not a full-on megillah reading. you could have sought to understand before jumping to that conclusion. peace.
chana continues in this vein, even accusing maryam of "attacking her," and also makes a weird dig about maryam's islam.
golda: try not to let this person upset you. you should be allowed to make such a statement without being lectured on religion -- this is not the place for that, or at least it shouldn't be. people are here to encourage and support each other. i also wish it was a silly purim theme. hope you have a great day :)
elkie: i agree. i would love to get a grogger.
rachel: admin! this is stressful.
tamar, the admin, jumps in. she doesn't mention chana's weird comments about maryam's islam, but merely asks for the conversation to stop. it doesn't.
ari: there is a grogger from one of the previous march events! it'll be in the shop all month. my family celebrated purim and mardi gras, so i have an outfit with a grogger and mardi gras beads!
chana: rachel, i'm so sorry.
chana: tamar, thank you and my apologies for my part in this.
zelda: chana, you can still buy jewish purim/wiccan ostara/mardi gras/etc type items in the store :) even a pineapple costume! lmao! your outfit can be as silly as you'd like it to be :)
katie: hi chana! i hear you saying it's disappointing there isn't a silly purim theme, and it's frustrating that anyone would push back on that because it's not religious so there's no way anyone would feel left out. i do just want to gently mention, for a lot of folks who are from other faiths and cultures, silly purim also isn't something that we celebrate. if the app had gone that route, we would of course understand because that is what the majority wants and we respect it, but it's true we would still feel left out. the app isn't obligated to change anything for us, of course, but the fact that they did is very sweet (well -- i'm not sure if inclusion was the intent, but it was the result!)
chana: just checking you've seen this. *includes screenshot of tamar's admin comment*
chana: can i also clarify one final time that i mentioned nothing of religion, nothing about faith, nothing about megillah, esther, or anything. i was simply hoping for a silly theme with funny hats and a cotton candy machine. the first person to mention anything to do with religion was NOT me. my initial comment has been taken wildly out of context and i am deeply upset that this conversation is continuing despite admin asking for it to stop. i'm done.
chana: tamar, i really don't want to leave this group, but this is past unacceptable at this point.
you don't see what happens next because you decide it's time to log off. you close your computer and go outside and touch some grass. you're free.
It's Black Friday and you know what that means: It's Christmas discourse season!
There's a disconnect that comes up every year in these conversations, and I've never seen it illustrated as clearly as in the conversation below.
Context: This is a community group for an app that involves themes and items, and this year's December theme is winter-y but decidedly not Christmassy.
Some people were upset about that, which isn't unexpected, and then this conversation ensued:
What is.... what is going on here? Why is red so upset? Why are they struggling to understand that "cozy" Christmas is still not universal? Does it feel threatening to them?
I mean, maybe green had a bunch of comments and then deleted them or facebook was glitching, but I can't find anything wrong with their initial comment. Is red just annoyed because it's unkind to challenge someone who's just saying they're sad? I don't think that's the only thing though because red doesn't seem to understand either green's or blue's comments and it's a misunderstanding I see every single year.
Also, I don't understand what the issue was with blue, or why that also upset red that much. Is it just because blue ignored the mod's request to close the thread?
Like.... either there's something I'm not getting or there's something red's not getting. I suspect it's red, tbh, because they started talking about how they never mentioned anything about Jesus, the nativity, or religion -- but blue actually addressed that in their comment.
Outside the context of someone getting pushback on just saying they'd wished something different had happened, which I recognize feels shitty, are there ways people like blue and green can phrase things so that it clicks for people like red, or is it a lost cause?
And what am I missing about red's perspective?
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"A stream through the valley to nourish these hills would lay all my troubles to sleep" A Field Song - Unfamiliar Things
Based off of CherriFire's designs!
#WHAAT two krash posts in one day???#don't get used to it lmao- I had this done a couple days ago#trafficblr#traffic smp#wild life smp#wild life fanart#It's been?? long enough that I'm not tagging the team as being spoilers pretty sure it's known by now#slight trafficshipping#inthelittlewood fanart#rendog fanart#inthelittlewood#rendog#treebark#was listening to unfamiliar things while making this so it's only fitting to assign it one of their songs :]#also I was a little evil with this one but idk if anyone's gonna catch it lmao#edit because I love them being in dresses so much (will be drawing them again)#I’m pointing directly at the both of them: you are now queer. you are both masculine and feminine in a customized combination#your relationship? also queer. nobody knows what’s going on with the both of you except you#friends?? married?? worse?? idk what it’s called but they’re a matching set
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hi!! new pinned post, because the last one had gotten long again-- if you want to read previous posts, here's the first one, here's the second one. the tl;dr from those is that my dad got wrongfully imprisoned abruptly, our place was raided, the cops broke a bunch of shit and took a bunch of our things and still haven't returned them, they left all the broken things for us to spend money in repairing, we had to spend money on a lawyer, trips to visit him, new clothes, medicine and food for him in jail, etc. it was a mess, way more details in both posts. he's back home now, with an ankle monitor because technically his case isn't being investigated yet, they haven't done anything about it at all, the case hasn't moved one ounce lmao it's great, always trust the judicial system and cops!! ugh, anyway!
we found a therapist for my dad who can help her deal with all the stuff he had to deal with while in prison, all the bullying, the depression, the starving, the separation, etc. he needs to get a bunch of other medical appointments, has to get surgery, among other things, but for now things are much better on that front. that being said, he did lose his job and my old redbubble account got suspended without a warning months ago, plus argentina's economy is... really bad right now. food prices rise every day, public transportation prices went up like a 200% in a couple of weeks, salaries are low and stuck there, subsidies are gone, the local peso keeps falling, we have an absolute psychopath as a president who spends more time insulting or threatening anyone who oppose him than caring about people. it's a disaster. for updates on argentina in english, this person on twitter makes very good informative threads if you're interested.
anyway, i used to make around 30/40 dollars a month in redbubble, and that used to help adding up to the donations i got here, and it got suspended, so now i make like 1/2 dollars on teepublic monthly. so... it's a huge loss. there's a lot of things me and my mom are in charge of paying-- groceries, power and water and gas, medicine (she's diabetic, i have some sort of chronic sinusitis), our dog and cat's food and medicines, wifi, phone bills, public transportation, healthcare, my dad's new therapist... so, you know, i really need anything people can donate. even if it's just a single dollar, literally any amount helps. i love fashion so much and i love this blog, i work really hard on it even when my brain says no, and i really appreciate how much you guys love it too. i love seeing people discover new styles, new designers, new things to be inspired by. so, yeah... i'm never going anywhere, but i do need help to basically stay afloat.
as usual, my kofi link is this one: https://ko-fi.com/fashionrunways and my teepublic link is this one: https://www.teepublic.com/user/dinah-lance. thanks for being around and sharing and reblogging my posts, thanks for asking questions about fashion, and of course thanks for helping to the ones who can, and thanks to the ones who can't too, i know how that feels like, don't worry about it. love you 💖
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Overtime | KDY (M)
Ceo Doyoung x Secretary fem reader
Summary: You and Doyoung stay late at the office and have a long extensive conversation about life, work, and other things. Doyoung's life motto is never mix personal life with work, but his mini crush on his secretary becomes bigger than life all on this night.
Warnings: sexual content, age gap (legal!!! doyoung is older), oral (fem receiving), unprotected, pull out method, proofread (kinda, I'm tired)
Word count: 5,7k
Song recs: thinkin bout you by Katie
A/N: took longer than I expected with this one. I've been in a writing slump for the past week so I'm sorry if this sucks. The smutty words don't come out the same as they used to lmao. Feedback is loved and appreciated 🫶🏾
You would've never taken this job if you knew your boss would be this hot.
Applying for the secretary position at a world famous company was not in your plan after college, but it just happened. You especially didn't expect to get hired. Now you've been working for 2 years and can't say that you would choose anything else, especially when you get to work so close to eye candy every day.
Kim Doyoung. He's the youngest successful single man in Seoul at 38 years old. No, he's not old, but he is way older than you in most people's standards. You never really had a thing for older men, but when you met Doyoung, you could say opposites attract. You would always try and hide your staring, sometimes he would catch you. He knows he is handsome, he's been told many times, but you're the only person who has ever worked for him that has never kissed his ass no matter how attractive you found him. He enjoyed having you around, having someone who wasn't a yes man.
Instead of going home, you were sitting at your desk finishing something you should've some ages ago. You were a huge procrastinator and he knew this. At first, it was something he hated about you. All of his other secretaries were very punctual while you did things late. However, you were way more detailed in your work, way more careful with his needs and schedule so he let it go.
"Why do I do this to myself," you groaned. You finished the last couple of words on the screen, aggressively pushing the period key with a sigh. "And all done." Now all you had to do was print the paper and leave it on Doyoung's desk for the morning. You pressed the tiny print pop up, watching the machine pump the papers out the front. Once it was done, you stapled them together.
Standing, you walk from around your desk and towards Doyoung's office. The sound of your heels filled the silent dimly lit hall, making you hum in delight. Although you hated staying to work late, you couldn't deny the atmosphere of an empty office. How peaceful it was, how strangely free you felt. Reaching Doyoung's office you noticed the door was left slightly ajar.
"Weird," you say to yourself. "He always leaves it shut." You walk in looking at your feet not expecting to hear anything.
"Oh you're here too?"
You jump, startled at the voice of your boss, looking up as you looked at his figure being lit up by his lamp. Blinking rapidly trying to regain your composure, you clear your throat shaking off your very clean dress. "M-Mr. Kim you surprised me," you say, a relaxed attitude faltering.
Doyoung watched you straighten your back, chuckling to himself as he stood up from his desk. "Relax, you don't need to be so formal. It's just you and me here."
You try to loosen up a bit, but he makes you so nervous especially when you're alone with him. You find him to be very intimidating. From how he speaks to how he dresses to even his favorite foods - Doyoung is a super classy man, way different from you. You gulp, placing the papers on his desk. "Here is the report for all the departments from this week. There were some last minute changes so…yeah."
Doyoung picks up the packet, flipping through the pages as you stand there with your hands folded in front of you. The room was silent, just the sound of him flipping rh pages was heard. You were in his office often, but never this late. Your eyes shifted around the room, taking in your surroundings. It was a cozy space, city lights in the big windows, every shelf stacked with something work related or some random object.
Doyoung had a picture of his family on one of the bookshelves, a picture of himself in his early teens with his parents and older brother. He hates that picture, always saying it reminded him of his hard life growing up. Doyoung didn't talk about his personal life much, his number one rule for all his employees and himself being don't let work and life mix. But working so closely with him has made you learn things about him he'd rather no one know, like how many times his mother has tried to set him up with some pretty rich woman or how many times his father needs meetings to berate his son.
Doyoung puts the papers down without a word. You started to turn on your heels, about to leave when he speaks up.
"Could you…stay for a bit," he says in a deep voice echoing in the quiet room. "I won't keep you long, just want a bit of company that's all."
You turn around with an awkward smile on your lips, clearing your throat. "Yeah sure, I don't mind."
Doyoung stood up from his seat, giving you a full view of his messy image. Tie loosened, shirt a bit unbuttoned - he was so attractive it pained you. He walked to the window behind him, leaning on the glass as he stared out at the huge city below the both of you. "You don't have to stand all the way over there you know."
"Oh.. right." You walked over to him, standing a distance away as you looked out the window.
"It's pretty right," he said, glancing at you. "I love this view at night."
"Me too."
And right back to silence, but instead of it being stiff, it felt comfortable. Neither of you noticed the glances the both of you kept sneaking at each other. But for a while you stopped looking at him and just leaned on the window taking in the pretty scenery. Doyoung looked at you, tracing your face with his eyes. He always thought you were pretty, knowing that he would probably ask you out if you weren't working under him. He still thinks about the first day he met you. You were a complete mess, just graduated and working 2 jobs to keep yourself afloat at the time he interviewed you. It was obvious you lived off coffee, eye bags couldn't even be hidden under your makeup. Now you're doing good for yourself. You seem happier, less stressed, and have really grown into your age.
Doyoung hates how much older he is than you. Not many girls your age would be into someone near their 40s in his mind, so for a while including now he pushed the thought to the back of his mind.
"So," he finally spoke up. "How was your day?"
"Oh, uh, well," you laughed awkwardly. "It was okay. I did what I usually do."
"Sit there and drink coffee," he joked, making both of you laugh.
"I do…other things," you said between giggles. "How was your day?"
"You already know that information," he said, letting out a deep sigh. Doyoung had a hard day, dealing with unreasonable clients and frustrating employees. You know how stressed he is all the time and you feel bad for him.
You wanted to say something but you didn't. You had no idea what to say to make him feel a bit happier. You were only his secretary after all, there's not much you can say without crossing lines, but that's what he likes about you. Sometimes you were so oblivious as to what was acceptable to say and what wasn't. You never dared to overstep boundaries, but it just happened.
"Do you ever feel like there's something in your life that's missing," he asked suddenly.
You look over to him, his face hard in concentration as he stares at the city lights. "What do you mean?"
"Like…you're doing something not because you enjoy it, but because it keeps you alive," he explains. You and Doyoung feel the air around the both of you become heavy with the sudden change in topic. Doyoung never had these kinds of conversations with you in the 2 years you've been working with him. In fact, he's never vulnerable with anyone about anything, not even the people he considered close friends.
"Well," you started slowly. "I do feel that way."
He turns to you, watching how your eyes shine in the light. "Was it when you started working for me?"
You glanced at him, giving him a small laugh. "Do you want the honest answer?"
"I want whatever answer will help me through this dilemma,* he sighs, pushing his hair back.
"I know you don't know a lot about me." You begin to relax as you start talking, leaning on the window. "I wanted to be an artist for a while. I grew up drawing, painting, the whole lot of stuff. My parents thought it was just a hobby and they were right for a while because then I fell in love with writing."
"Is that why you got a journalism degree," he interrupted.
"Yeah…that's right," you laugh softly. "Did I tell you this story before?"
"No I just…" Doyoung stopped talking seeing your playful smile, heat flying to his ears making them red. You were so pretty to him, especially in this light. "Sorry, you can continue."
"It's okay," you chuckle softly. "Anyway, I loved telling stories and wrote things in private all the time, but storybooks weren't going to pay the bills so I had to take up informative writing. Fast forward to my third year and I start realizing how much I hate what I'm doing. My love for art comes back and I start drawing more than writing essays. That's when I realized I wanted to make comics."
Doyoung stands there with his arms crossed, trying so hard to pay attention to listen to you, but he couldn't get over how pretty your lips looked, How nice your voice sounded. His eyes traveled to your neck, his next thought immediately flying to how good you smell when you’re next to him. And your hands, goodness he loves your hands. They would brush against his sometimes, the thought of how soft they would feel on his-
"Mr. Kim?"
He blinked, head being pulled out of his inner thoughts by your voice. He couldn't believe he zoned out while you spoke. Doyoung gulped, realizing the kind of image his brain almost created. "Yes? I'm sorry I zoned out. I'm just a little tired."
You gave him a small laugh and understanding smiles, nodding at his words. "I understand, I'm tired too so I'll keep it short. Sometimes we will feel periods of emptiness in the things we do no matter if we love them or not. We just have to remember everything that makes it worth it, not matter what." You stopped talking when you felt Doyoung's eyes on you, boring into your soul.
"Do you feel like working here is worth it?"
There is a kind of tenderness in Doyoung's eyes that you don't get to see often. The last time you saw this look was when he was telling a memory of him and his brother when they were kids. "Yeah, I feel like it's worth it."
"Well I'm glad," he says, looking back out into the city. "For someone so young, I didn't expect you to have a lot of profound things to say."
"I'm not that young. And you aren't that old" you say, laughing at his expression. "Not to pry of course, but why do you feel like something is missing?" He remains quiet and his relaxed expression turns stern, a frown on his face almost immediately. You panicked thinking that you pushed too far past the line. "I'm sorry, you really don't have to answer Mr. Kim, I was just-"
"It's okay, you did nothing wrong," he said, trying to reassure you. "My mother makes me feel like a shit show because I'm not looking for anyone to marry."
You opened your mouth to speak, but stopped. This problem of his was completely beyond you. It's not a surprise that he's been avoiding his mother, their family issues all over the tabloids. you wish you could be some sort of support system for him, but you know you can't get that close to him.
"You don't have to say anything. I know you have nothing to say."
"Yeah, I'm sorry," you mumbled. "I know things have been rough with you and your mom these days."
Doyoung blinked and looked over to you. His lips parted, tongue darting out slowly against his lips, wetting them before speaking."You know you're the only person to talk to me like a regular guy?"
You whip your head to him, gulping at his words. "Oh, i must've gotten too comfortable Mr. Kim-"
"I like that you talk to me like a regular person," he chuckled.
You give him a soft laugh, shaking your head. The way doyoung looks at you makes you feel something you shouldn't feel for your boss. But his eyes are piercing, full of emotion and it makes you fall deeper into him. You didn't want to ruin the mood, but you would feel bad if you didn't tell him what happened earlier that day. "Mr. Kim….your mother called the office."
Doyoung sighed, running his face in his hand. "What did she say?"
"Something about," you started hesitantly. "You blocking her number, not going to events, not dating…"
"That old lady always has something to complain about," he sighed. "Thank you for telling me."
You nodded, pressing your lips into a thin line to keep silent. But sometimes you just speak and say things you probably shouldn't, because the way doyoung looks at you for your next sentence makes you want to crawl into a dark corner.
"Well, dating shouldn't be hard for you," you said.
He raised a brow, a smirk pulling on his lips slowly. "What do you mean?"
"W-well I mean you're…" you paused, eyeing him up and down awkwardly.
"I'm…?"
"You're you," you said a bit more enthusiastically than you wanted to. "Well what I wanted to say was that you're rich, handsome…."
"Is that it? Just rich and handsome," he joked, but you didn't take it as a joke. You already overstepped the boundaries multiple times in the last 30 minutes, this could probably be the only moment to save your job.
"N-no! You're funny and honest, fun to talk to. And even though you have this rough guy thing going on, I think you're a pretty soft guy," you said, lips moving 40 miles per hour.
He gave you a chuckle, one that sounded genuine and warm which surprised you. "Ms. Y/n, are you flirting with me right now?"
You blinked rapidly, shaking your head and hands silently as you panicked, making the male laugh. You said no, but he was secretly hoping that you were. He wanted to know if you were as attracted to him as he was to you. He couldn't help himself.
"You're not too bad yourself," he said, turning back to the window.
"Thank you…. you're too nice, but you don't really mean that."
"No, I'm serious," he continued. "You're cool and fun, not too serious but can be serious when you need to be."
Your face was beginning to get hot, fingers gittering at your sides. You couldn't even look at him, afraid you would probably go crazy. You really hoped he would stop talking, but he didn't. It stressed you out.
"Not to mention, you're beautiful."
You gave him a small laugh, trying to cover up the very obvious mental breakdown you were about to have. "Mr.Kim please-"
"You're beautiful. You have the best laugh and the prettiest smile." doyoung was slowly walking towards you, making your body stiffen as he came closer. His gaze was hungry, not able to suppress his desires for you any longer. It was terrible of him, he knew it, he was your boss and practically preying on you at the moment. He was doing something he hated, but he knew you wanted it too.
Doyoung was so close to you, body looking over yours as he stared down at your flustered face. "Mr.Kim-"
"Call me Doyoung."
"But I can't-"
"Yes you can." He spoke so quietly and softly, eyes flickering from yours to your lips. "I wanna hear you say it so I can say I love the way you say my name too."
You were quickly falling under whatever spell he was starting to put you under as he spoke. Your lids dropped, breathing heavily as his hands left his sides and made their way to your waist. "D-Doyoung," you said breathlessly, heart beating faster in his grasp.
He nodded slightly, a smile curling on his lips as he pulled your body closer to his, pressing his chest against yours. "Again."
You gulp, shaking your head as you remove his hands from your waist. "I…we can't do this. I-I'm your secretary."
"Secretary who I like very much." You make it so hard for him to not want to push your buttons a little more. Was doyoung really about to risk everything he built up just to kiss you? Yes, yes he was. Not one of his smartest decisions, but he trusted you. "I liked you for a very long time, you know."
"Really," you ask, brows scrunching slightly.
"Mhm." Doyoung put his hands back on your waist, the adoration in his eyes turning to lust. "I'm doing this against my better judgment, and you know how much I cherish my judgment."
Before you knew it, your eyes fluttered shut and you were the one kissing him instead. Your lips melted into his, hands moving to his shoulder as you pulled him closer. Doyoung kisses you back softly, moving his hands under your blazer squeezing your waist. He felt how raged your breathing was, your heartbeat speeding up as he fondled your body in his hands.
You pulled away, refusing to look at him. He knew you liked him as much as he liked you - it was obvious by the smirk on his face. It was only supposed to be a kiss and end there, but your mind drifted to a place it wasn't supposed to go.
"I need to go home," you said, letting out a sigh.
"No you don't," he protested softly. "I know you don't want to either."
"Mr. Kim-"
"Doyoung," he said. "I want you to call me by name."
"Doyoung," you started, making him smile. "What are you trying to do right now? I mean, we are attracted to each other but this.. what will people think?"
"People won't know unless we tell them," he says nonchalantly. "Besides, I own the entire building you're standing in right now. Whatever I say goes, and I'll never let anyone hurt you."
You looked up at him, worry still painting your face, but you nodded anyway. "Okay, I trust you."
"Good. You should always trust me." He cupped your face softly, kissing you deeply. You kissed him back, lips molding with his just like how you imagined. You wanted to take advantage of this moment while you had it, so you took your hands off his shoulders taking your blazer off. Letting the jacket fall to the floor, you reached back to Doyoung's chest, pulling his tie off him and placing it on his desk.
"I wanna take care of you," he said quietly. "Would you let me do that?"
"Yes." Your answer came out as a whisper as you unbuttoned the rest of his shirt. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression. your concentrated desperate appearance was doing something to him, he just wanted to fuck you against the window make you cry out his name. He thought it was too cute how your hands were trembling as you unbuttoned his shirt. The only time he sees you this nervous is when he reprimands you for something you may do wrong.
Doyoung slowly starts to pull your tucked blouse out your pencil skirt, making your breath hitch in your throat. "Is this okay with you?"
You nod, removing your hands from his shirt to allow him to pull the fabric off of you. Doyoung marveled at your body. He felt guilty knowing how many times he's fantasized about this moment, the thought of touching you on his mind heavy sometimes. But the guilt went away when he made contact with your skin. Doyoung pulled you closer to him, kissing you as his hands slowly went up your body. He groped you not too roughly to make you flustered, but just enough to enjoy your small gasp. His hand squeezed and massaged your left breast.
"Should I take it off," you mumble as he plays with the lace on your bra. You wait for an answer, but his eyes and hand are too focused on the lace, the only thing going through his head was how pretty the color looked against your skin.
"No," he said, shaking his head. You watched him unbutton and unzip the side of your skirt, cock twitching his pants from excitement. "Let me help you relieve some of your stress from today. I wanna taste you Y/N."
"Can you," you said breathlessly, begging, making him smile too. He tugged your skirt down your legs, fabric bunching around your heels.
"Get on the desk." Doyoung watches you hop on his perfectly organized desk, spreading your legs almost immediately. Your eyes widened at how fast he dropped to the floor, his actions making you even more wet than before.
“I thought about this alot Mr. Kim,” you admitted, eyes glossed from how turned on you were. "I fucking dreamed about this."
"Oh yeah?" Doyoung's entire shirt was off by this point, the expensive fabric laying, somewhere on the floor. His soft hands made their way up your legs, leaning into your inner thighs. He kisses the soft spot of your thighs, making your body shudder sensitively. Doyoung hooked his fingers around your panties, tugging at them to pull the fabric off. You lifted your hips, allowing him to pull them down your legs and off your ankles swiftly.
Doyoung couldn't take his eyes off the sight between your legs. You were glistening, so wet it got on his desk. "Fuck.. you're so pretty baby."
"Don't stare." You started to close your legs, but doyoung forced them back apart, leaning into the closer. You could feel his heavy breathing on your wet core as he kissed your inner thighs.
"Don't get all shy on me now." He placed a soft kiss on your clit, eyes never leaving your face. You let out a soft sigh when he licked your core softly, collecting your arousal on his tongue. Doyoung licks at your clit softly, adding pressure with every other movement. He always thought about what you would sound like, if you were loud or silent, but your soft moans at the moment were prettier than ever. Doyoung sucked your clit softly, making you throw your head back slightly.
"You like that?" Doyoung did it again, smirking to himself when you scrunch your brows.
"Yeah," you sigh, nodding. Doyoung continues to eat you out, your hands tangling in his hair as he licks at you feverishly. His tongue flicked your clit fast, making you tug his hair a bit. "If you do that I'll cum fast," you moaned softly.
He chuckled softly, sucking your clit harshly right after.
"D-Doyoung oh my god," you whimpered, legs starting to come together. He swiftly pushed them apart, allowing you to tug his face closer to your core. Doyoung watched you with a hazy expression as you grinded on his face, hands gripping your thighs. He flattened his tongue against you, letting you grind your core. Your arousal was all over his mouth, his nose constantly nudging your clit every time you moved. Even in the dark in his office he could still see the look of absolute pleasure on your face, taking in the desperation to cum in your eyes and the way your hand trembled on the back of his head.
"I'm so close Doie," you whined softly, making the man below your chuckle softly.
"Doie?"
You paused, looking down at him with sudden alertness. "I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I-"
"No, I love it." He attached his mouth back to your core, sucking and licking at you. "I love it so fucking much."
You threw your head back, brows scrunching as the pleasure continued to build in your stomach. Your moans built higher in pitch, noises so loud the janitors on the floor below could probably hear you. Doyoung moans on your core, the vibrations on your clit driving you mad.
"Cum babygirl, cum for me."
You let go, cumming on his tongue, his lips, his face. Doyoung didn't let up though, still licking up all your release as your legs shook, trying to clamp around his head from the over stimulation. You whined loudly, the feeling of his nose nudging against your sensitive clit making you tear up. After a couple more seconds of overstimulation, Doyoung stopped, looking up at you with the most fucked out expression you've ever seen from anyone.
"Fuck," you laughed softly, "we can add head to list of things I like about you."
"Trust me I can do a lot more than just that." He rose to his feet, immediately pulling you closer to him in a heated kiss. You moaned softly, tasting yourself on his lips and tongue.
"Yeah?" You smiled against his lips, adding tongue into the kiss as you cupped his face softly. You gasp softly as you part your lips from his, looking down at his hand that was now between your legs, fingers rubbing your clit slowly.
"God you're so cute," he chuckled softly. "Cute face, cute tits, cute moans, cute pussy." His deep voice rang through your ears, adding pleasure already soaring through your body. Doyoung kissed your neck, nipping at the skin playfully as he sped up his fingers. He pulled your breast out of the fabric of your bra, enjoying the way you hid your face in his neck at your exposed state. "I'm gonna fuck this cute pussy. How does that sound?"
"Please fuck me," you whined breathlessly, brows furrowing as his mouth attached to your nipple. "I need you so bad, Doie."
Doyoung lifted himself off your body, watching you waste no time in trying to undo his belt. Your fingers fumbled, nails getting in the way of getting it off easily. Doyoung smiled to himself as you struggled, tears pricking the corners of your eyes in frustration. "Calm down, I'm not going anywhere, pretty girl," he said soothingly. He gently removed your hands from his belt, undoing it himself.
Your mouth watered, gulping as you watched him unzip his pants. Doyoung loved watching your reactions, purposely taking his time in front of your impatient disposition. He slowly pulled himself out his pants and boxers, his tip leaking precum as it hit his navel.
You jumped off the desk, running your hands down his chest as you kissed him deeply, biting his lip softly. "Need you to fuck me real good Mr. Kim," you mumbled against his lips.
"Bend over." You did as he said, holding your body up with your arms. You looked so cute to him, checking behind yourself to see when he was going to stretch you wide. You shook your hips, whining softly to him.
"Hurry," you whined. "Need you to fill me so bad."
He chuckled darkly, not bothering to grab a condom out of his wallet before he lined himself at your entrance. He rubbed his leaking tip against your clit, making you moan softly. "fuck."
"You're so wet Y/N," he muttered, marveling at the state between your legs.
"All for you." You wiggled your hips trying to create more friction, but Doyoung took the extra step of lining himself with your core. Doyoung pushed himself into you slowly with a low groan. You were almost immediately overtaken by pleasure, eyes rolling back at the feeling of him stretching you out. He thrusted into you slowly, holding your hips with a tight grip on them.
"You feel so good, shit." He kept thrusting in you, your soft moans and whimpers permeating the air around you. You hadn't even realized that you were bouncing back onto him at the same time until he stopped, wrapping a hand around your neck as he whispered in your ear. "Keep fucking yourself on my cock princess. You're doing such a good job, making your boss happy."
"Y-yes Doie, i'll make you happy," you said in a choked moan as he squeezed your neck.
"Good girl," he murmured. He let go of your neck, looking down to watch you desperately move against him. He smacked your ass firmly as you started going faster, making you halt your movements. "Did I tell you to go faster?"
"N-no," you whined softly.
He grabbed your hair, pulling it as he started fucking you slow. Deep slow strokes made you whine loudly, cunt fluttering around him. You needed to cum, you wanted to cum so badly. You need him to fuck you hard and fast, but the painfully slow pace he had going was driving you insane.
"Faster Doyoung. Please," you cried out, but all he did was let out a deep laugh.
"Pretty little thing," he mumbled. Doyoung began thrusting in you hard and fast, making your jaw drop in pleasure as you arched your back to feel him more. "You like having a older man's cock in you?"
"Yes yes, I love it Doie," you whimpered weakly. Suddenly he pulled out of you m, leaving you with the feeling of emptiness, but not for long. He turned you around, manhandling you as he lifted you by your hips, placing you on the desk. Doyoung forced you legs open, pushing himself back into you without warning.
"Fuck," he groaned through gritted teeth. Doyoung watched you, scanning your body as you laid on the desk. He lifted your legs, pushing them to your chest as he fucked you at the same pace as before. He loved the faces and noises you made, couldnt take his eyes off you. The both of you never thought you would have this much chemistry, but everything feels perfect. Doyoung is fucking you like he's been doing it for years already, your body melting into his perfectly.
You reached down, rubbing your clit to reach your high. "Keep touching yourself, just like that baby," he groaned. The grip he has on your legs got tighter as he kept going, feeling himself closer and closer to cumming.
"I'm gonna cum Doyoung," you panted, rubbing you clit harder.
Doyoung's brows furrowed at the sensation of you squeezing around him, moaning softly. "Cum baby, cum for me. Cum all over my cock." His words were jumbled, slurred from all the pleasure he was taking. Doyoung moaned loudly, the feeling of you squeezing and cumming on his cock shooting through his body. Your body tensed beneath his, legs shaking as you whimpered his name over and over while cumming hard. Your lips were suddenly captured with his as he leaned down kissing your messily.
"I'm gonna cum Y/N, shit," he said on your mouth. Doyoung kept thrusting in you, making your eyes roll back form the sensitivity.
"Oh my god," you cried. Doyoung's movements became more erratic as he came closer and closer. Soon enough, doyoung was pulling out of you, cumming on your stomach, some ropes of white shooting to your chest.
Nothing but the sounds of deep breathes filled the air, the smell of sex all over the room. Your eyes were closed, so you didn't see Doyoung looking at you as if he saw an angel. He let go of your legs, wrapping an arm around the small of your back as he weakly lifted you into a seated position.
"That was…"
"Something," he finished with a small laugh. You looked at him, giving him a small smile as you sat trying to catch your breath.
"It's pretty late now I bet," he said, brushing his damp bangs back. Doyoung looked at you, then at your very naked state, covered in his cum. "Fuck, I'm sorry."
You didn't say anything, just looked at him with a tired smile. "Thank you for not cumming inside me at least."
"Why? You don't want my kid," he joked, grabbing tissues off his shelf. Doyoung handed you some tissues, letting you clean your self off as he fixed himself up.
"I'm 24. I'm not ready for kids," you laughed. You paused, looking at him through your lashes as he fastened his belt. "But I am ready for a relationship."
He smiled picking up his shirt from the floor. "Yeah?"
"Mhm," you answered.
"Well…that can be arranged," he said, fingers fumbling with his buttons. You moved his hands, looking at him as you buttoned his shirt, smirk tugging at your lips. "But are you serious about this? You're young, and I don't want you to feel obligated because you work for me."
"I don't feel obligated at all," you said calmly, carefully getting off the desk, your heels clicking with the floor. "I always liked you, and it obvious you liked me too."
He leaned against the floor to ceiling window crossing his arms as he watched you dress. Your small glances were making his heart race, something that hasn't happened since he was a teenager. He walked up to you, grabbing your hips as he kissed you deep, biting your lip softly.
"How do you usually get homw," he asked as he pulled away.
"An Uber."
"I'm I'm taking you home tonight okay," he said, making you nod. "Is that okay with you?"
"Anything you do is okay with me." Doyoung kissed your forehead, smiling to himself.
He never thought of himself as much as a lover, but maybe you'll pull it out of him. And he would love to see you try. All the years of trying to keep personal life and work separate gone to waste, but was it worth it? Hopefully, yes.
#nct#nct u#nct fanfic#nct smut#nct x reader#nct oneshot#nct 127#nct scenarios#nct doyoung#doyoung#doyoung fanfic#doyoung imagines#doyoung smut#doyoung oneshot#doyoung x reader
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FFVII Rebirth Demo Impressions
I played the demo several nights ago and loved it! This post is about my thoughts/impressions as I was playing.
(Quick note: My shipping preferences are Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith, so that is going to influence my perspective and what I write about. There will also be spoilers for the OG game and Crisis Core throughout).
One of the first things I noticed as I was playing through was the graphics. The graphics look fantastic. I can tell the game being on the PS5 is making a big difference. The jump in quality from Remake to Rebirth is really noticeable.
It's so weird seeing Cloud act like Zack. Like I KNOW it's Zack and it's creeping me out a;lksdjfdfj because it's just...so not Cloud. They knocked the "this is wrong" vibes out of the park by using Zack's mannerisms and gestures with Cloud's model slapped on top, and it's giving this uncanny valley feeling to everything "Cloud" does. Cody Christian even sounds more like Zack's VA (Caleb Pierce). The attention to detail with all that is excellent. The updated graphics give them a lot to work with in terms of showing the wonkiness with Cloud's memories.
There was also a clever shot in the truck of "Cloud" asking the real Cloud if he's okay, and you see a hint of Cloud's blond hair peeking through the helmet.
I liked the dramatic/heroic version of Sephiroth's theme that played. And when Zack gets hurt by one of the monsters, I think it was Cloud who made sure he's okay, which was a sweet touch. Also, the screen is tinted with green, which is a cool way to show the effects of the Mako poisoning on Cloud.
Another thing I noticed: Cloud's eyes look SUPER green, more so than in Remake. Don't know if it's the upgrade to the PS5 or if they wanted to show the Mako poisoning progressing, but I thought it was a cool detail.
Okay it's like Cloud swapped he and Zack in his memories directly at one point soon after they arrive in Nibelheim. I swear this is 100% what Zack would've said to Cloud about Aerith, but instead it's one of the "security officers" saying it to "Cloud": "So, any friends here you wanna see? Maybe a girlfriend? Speaking of which, I bet you're dying to hear about mine. Am I right?"
Lmao Sephiroth still has groupies, this is giving Crisis Core fanclub vibes and I'm all here for it. I'm glad the game still has those silly moments and that continuity with past games. It makes the tragedy I know will unfold later on that much more poignant.
Speaking of which, it's depressing seeing all the townspeople in Nibelheim knowing they're going to die. Just walking around talking to them, Nibelheim really feels like a lived-in place that Cloud has so many personal connections to.
An NPC asked Cloud if he's seen his mother yet, another one recognized me, and another couple of people noticed me and asked if I'm looking for Tifa. They Know™️
Also, it's really interesting seeing Cloud craft the welcome home he WISHES he had gotten. He wanted to come back to Nibelheim as a hero everyone praised, but the reality was much different. So seeing that contrast is a really good insight into Cloud's psyche and what he wants (praise, recognition, approval, etc.)
Oh found some cats, I'm glad there's another area dedicated to just cats ;aldjf; (complete with photographic evidence):
Awwwwww there was a sweet reference to Tifa leading the exercise classes for Nibelheim from Traces of Two Pasts, and she asks Cloud in the modern day if he was able to keep up with the class (she wasn't teaching this particular one, but I love that bit of continuity).
Tifa you can tell is nostalgic for Nibelheim hearing Cloud's recounting of what happened too, the voice acting and dialogue for this part is all really well-done.
The option to see Cloud's mom was really well-done. Cloud never went back to see her in reality, of course, which means his memory glitches out like crazy during this part: he "hears" his mother talking to him about a conversation that happened at an earlier time, like his brain is desperately trying to create something that never happened and is latching onto the nearest fragments it can find. I like how they translated this scene from the OG game, it gave off eerie vibes.
HE DID THE LIL SHRUG AND NOD LIKE HE DOES IN THE OG GAME if you try to enter his mom's house again after the "memory" is over. Also, it's like his mind is trying to protect itself from delving too deeply into a false memory so glitchy (and maybe he feels a deep level of guilt at not actually going to see her as well), and so you can't go back into his house, just like in the OG game.
You can have Cloud go up the water tower too, and he looks towards Tifa's window THE ANGST OF IT ALL a;lskdfj. I love those little moments of Pining™️
Tifa's like wait you went to my place?? Oh Cloud...you were such an awkward weirdo...
"Our reasons, huh? I bet most of them had to do with you." Barret shading Cloud for why he and Tifa didn't hang out more ;alkdjf again I love the humor in these moments.
Awwww Fluffy got mentioned! Nice to hear her brought up again.
"You went into my room?" I'm dead. Tifa sounds so indignant and rightfully so. It's weirdo behavior Cloud ;laskdfj
"You went through my stuff?!" Not off to a great start buddy, but I had him pick that option because I figured he ought to be honest. Tifa and Aerith both call him an asshole if you admit to doing it too, which made me laugh. And naturally my mind is wondering how this will impact the iconic date later on. Did I just piss both Aerith and Tifa off and lose affection points with both girls? Probably lol (and honestly, Cloud deserved it for that stunt).
Tifa's lil moogle plushie on her bed is adorable. I love the touches like that that make the environment feel more lived in.
Awwww I found Tifa's theme to play on the piano hehe. I love that that's the first piano piece you can find in the game. Just one of my favorite FFVII songs because it fits Tifa so perfectly and has this bittersweet sense of longing as well as this beautiful tenderness to it.
Also, I got a kick out of the piano minigame. The first time I wasn't great at it and got a C. I struggled to do both "hands" at the same time. I did it two more times after that, and it starts to sound really nice when you have a streak of a bunch of correct notes in a row. Like Cloud's going to town on the piano with extra flourishes. If you miss notes again though the metronome comes back on lol like "you still need to practice and get the rhythm down."
The second two times I got an A (I'll have to keep practicing to get a star and see what happens), and the gang praised Cloud, which I thought was cool.
Found more Sephiroth groupies and ran into Zangan in the inn. It was really sweet hearing Zangan praise Tifa so highly. Also, "Cloud" saying, "yeah right" when Zangan says "Tifa will go far" is another good clue Cloud isn't himself. Tifa was offended and Aerith was offended on her behalf. I love how Aerith keeps backing Tifa up on stuff, it's really nice to see more of their friendship.
The photographer dude is back and I love him. And he even says the same thing he said to Zack in Crisis Core about how he can't waste his film on Zack because he doesn't know who he is ;alskdfj. What's a guy got to do to get a little respect?
"You look so different" lol yes I do random villager because I'm not me, and then there are some nice creepy foreshadowing moments from her kids. The girl says, "Gonna beat those monsters?" and the boy says, "Gonna be 'em?"
The irony of the mayor saying he'd brag about Sephiroth visiting Nibelheim till the day he dies:
I still really love Brian Lockhart's design. He's like if the 70s met cowboy fashion, and it just works somehow. And this carries over from the OG game, but his concerns about Tifa's safety are well-founded given what happened when she and Cloud were kids and sets up future reveals in the remake trilogy nicely.
Also, Tifa is so small next to Sephiroth. I love her sass in this part of the story, and this time around there's some country twang banjo version of her theme and I love it. Also Sephiroth shaded the camera guy al;sdkfj;dskf but "Cloud" talked him into it and thus the iconic photo came into being. Again those moments of humor will never not be funny. And I loved how Tifa was being such a good guide and giving info about the area as they started to ascend the mountain.
Also, when you finally get to the title screen, it cracked me up how Nomura is listed first, before Hamaguchi. Probably a seniority/respect thing, but Nomura is the creative director and Hamaguchi is the director.
Also, the version of the main theme that plays as you go up Mt. Nibel is awesome, and once again I had to get a screenshot because this area is just so beautiful:
Tifa wanting to travel is a sweet touch, though Sephiroth is practical and points out that he travels on business trips and not for fun. Of course "Cloud" points out that you do learn stuff on these trips. It's a nice contrast between Tifa's naive optimism, Sephiroth's jaded world-weary outlook, and Zack's positivity tempered by experience.
Also, Sephiroth's hair is very swishy. I thought that needed a note as I was playing this. Props to the artists, animators, etc. who rendered it.
I chuckled at Tifa racing up the mountain and teasing "Cloud" and Sephiroth about whether or not they can keep up. Just shows a fun, playful side to her personality and also shows how eager she is to prove herself. And then she dropkicked a monster to protect "Cloud" and then teased him about it alks;jfdsf. She's so much snarkier with Zack than she is with Cloud, and it's an interesting contrast.
The real Cloud of course is in the background, protecting Tifa from danger. Even in his rewritten version of history, the real him is lurking in his subconscious protecting her because she's that important to him. She thanked him so sweetly when he did too.
I made a note about seeing the bridge that collapsed with Cloud and Tifa on it when they were kids, man all the little details like this and the foreshadowing is just A+.
Tifa has Trauma™️ from falling off a bridge before, hmmm, wonder what that's from, and she's still like hey I'm the guide I'll lead us a;ldkfj when "Cloud" offers to go first lol.
Still holds true years later but wooooow Nibelheim sucks at constructing good bridges lol. It was a wholesome moment where "Cloud"/Zack grabbed Cloud and kept him from drowning though, and Sephiroth was able to grab Tifa (which is ironic considering how he tries to kill her not much later, and it's sad because it really shows he was a good guy). Of course the other security officer probably drowned rip, poor guy.
YAY SEPHIROTH'S IN MY PARTY FINALLY
"For your performance review" lol I like Sephiroth's sass and how he teases "Cloud" like this.
I just obliterate everything playing as Sephiroth ;alsdkfj and truly love playing as him. And him slamming his own dad will never not be funny, I mean Hojo just really sucks.
At this point I started focusing more on playing the game since there were more monsters to fight etc., but I still got some nice screenshots and had a few more thoughts.
The Mako spring just looks incredible, so I had to include a photo:
The scenery by the ocean was gorgeous too, I can't wait to go to Costa del Sol:
The real Cloud helping Tifa get to safety from the monster and "Cloud"/Zack and Sephiroth being bros is top-tier content. Also Sephiroth looks like a model in pretty much every shot he's in:
Oh the dramatic irony of Tifa not knowing it's Cloud and him refusing to talk and her being sassy and telling him, "You better keep me safe" and then of course he does. The music is creepy now that we're about to enter the reactor lol, of course it is.
"Would it kill this guy to say something" he would die from embarrassment and shame, yes:
"The company really needs to be more transparent" that's the understatement of the year "Cloud" ;lakfj;asdf
Cool use of JENOVA'S theme. I always enjoy hearing that theme and how otherworldy but also very 90s it sounds.
Zangan's comment here is gold, I love the bee in his bonnet bit:
The Shinra basement stuff was genuinely creepy l;kasjdf like I know what happens and I was still freaked out! The atmosphere was just really well done.
"I should go. Mother is waiting." There it is, the iconic meme line a;ldal;skdjf;lsdjf it just kills me, Sephiroth is such a psycho.
Loved seeing Zangan helping people get out of the town and telling "Cloud" to get in there and help, but of course the situation is still incredibly dire by the time "Cloud" gets there.
This shot in front of the water tower was gorgeous and really haunting, especially when the water tower collapsed. Just the symbolism with that, the loss of Cloud and Tifa's special place and how not long after this, he feels like he failed her and failed to keep his promise:
Main Scenario: Check on Mom. Oh Cloud...
And then you see the real Cloud collapsed in front of his house and calling for his mom, this is so depressing:
This is where the more realistic graphics really serve the story well, because it makes this moment that much more of a gut punch, especially when he hears his mother begging him to live. The last few moments before her soul returns to the planet perhaps, trying to save her son from danger one last time.
And now that "Cloud" is hurt, he looks busted up even in the menu. I thought that was a cool detail to include.
It's like Cloud's memories are trying to right themselves because he winds up on the ground like where he was supposed to be. When Sephiroth murdered the man who tried to help him and then went on his creepy murder spree of several other villagers culminating with the mayor, that was all really well done too. Horrifying because there's nothing Cloud can do to stop the senseless murder of people he's known all his life, and it really shows how cold and ruthless Sephiroth has become.
This moment was good too with the memories seeming glitchy again:
And then of course I must end this on The Iconic Scene™️ a;lsdkfja;kdslf complete with psycho smirk:
Needless to say, I very much enjoyed this demo and am looking forward to the Juno one! And the full game, February 29 can't come fast enough.
#ff7 rebirth#ffvii rebirth#cloud strife#sephiroth#tifa#tifa lockhart#zack fair#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7 rebirth#final fantasy vii rebirth#rebirth spoilers#ffvii rebirth spoilers#ff7 rebirth spoilers#final fantasy vii rebirth spoilers#final fantasy 7 rebirth spoilers#ff7r#ff7r spoilers#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#nibelheim incident#cloti#cloud x tifa#cloud/tifa#clock strife x tifa lockart#cloud strife/tifa lockhart#phoenix-downer#long post
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okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!
it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.
with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?
rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??
in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.
i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.
UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.
which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.
thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.
there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??
moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense
TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it
#this is so rambly#most of it was written while i was bored at work lol#but anywayssss feel free to disagree or discuss or ignore HAH#i just felt like i needed to get out my current thoughts about this#jeremy knox#the sunshine court#tsc#the sunshine court spoilers#tsc spoilers#all for the game#aftg
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Thank you @coyotesuspect for tagging me to do a fic writer interview!!! I love shiteing on about writing :)
How many works do you have on ao3?
41 and like half of that is from the Beatles boom of the last couple years 🫣
What’s your total word count?
242,272
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
live through this and you won’t look back (check please, jackparse); if being afraid is a crime, we hang side by side (wolf 359, kepcobi); baby, it’s all relative (beatles, mclennon); i thought i knew you, what did i know (beatles, jane pov mclennon); slip of the tongue (beatles, mclennon)
Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?
Yes!! Although I’ve gotten bad about getting back to comments on old fic bc i always open it in a new tab to respond later and then I forgor. But I’ve turned on the ao3 inbox so i can get better about finding them again. I love receiving comments and I genuinely appreciate all of them. Be rude not to reply!
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
Any ‘68-‘69 era beatles fic I’ve written tbh, but i think the worst of them is one and one and one is three where I forced poor Paul to endure a threesome with John and Yoko :)
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
Oh god idk, one of the angst-less pwps probably. tune me up and turn me out I wrote with the express purpose of depicting John and Paul being horny and in love so maybe that one. Also I have a forever soft spot for wouldn’t it be nice? because the ending is so 🥰🥰🥰 ROMANCE!!!
Do you write crossovers?
Wrote one this year about Don Draper hooking up with Paul McCartney :) plus this oldie about Jean-Ralphio from parks and rec becoming the 11th doctor’s companion.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Only from troll accounts
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Brother I write any kind. I’ll write kinks I don’t even like if the muse demands it.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No but I’ve had someone finish a fic I abandoned years ago on ff.net and then they message me about it being like “can I finish this” and then I checked he fic and they’d already posted it and only asked permission bc someone asked them if they did lol.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I think I did in the ff.net days but I can’t remember if anyone’s done it since
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No :( I’d love to. I have no idea if I’d be any use though, I have such a self-contained writing process.
What's your all-time favourite ship?
Raylan/Boyd or Pacey/Joey probably, neither of which I’ve written anything for lmao
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
There’s a jackparse fic that I’ve been trying to write since the summer of 2020, and tbh I’m still delusional enough to think I will get it done eventually even though I’ve written almost nothing for it. Never give up, never surrender!
What are your writing strengths?
This sounds dumb but I’m good at capturing vibes. I like to be concise so I try to pack a lot of emotion in the fewest words possible.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I don’t care for physical descriptions so I don’t do them as much as I probably should. I think this, again, goes with my desire to be concise lol
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
If it’s a word or line here and there fair enough but if you’re writing a whole exchange that I don’t understand, my eyes are just gonna glaze over it. Dawg, I cannot read that! And also I think there’s such nuance to the way people switch languages when they’re bilingual and a lot of not bilingual people writing bilingual characters do not understand that. It’s both more and less casual than the way most people depict it.
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Gossip girl :)
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
Idk I don’t usually go into a fandom expecting to write for it, it’s more that I join and sometimes the desire strikes and a lot of the time it doesn’t. In terms of beatles which I am consistently writing for, I really want to write a Paul/George fic which I haven’t done yet. But I love a little childhood friendship moment <3
What's your favourite fic you've written?
I love all my children equally, but stuff from this year I’m particularly delighted with are a great threat just because the universe of Paul being the girl beatle was so delicious to play with and also toxic yuri >:), and The McCartney Issue cause it hit me while I was in the midst of struggling with sort of writer’s block and a bit of a confidence dive in terms of writing, and it came to me so fully formed so it was nice to know that spark was still there, and I had a lot of fun with it.
Tagging, if you’d like @javelinbk @crepesuzette2023 @jeanharlowseyebrows @wurmzirkus @planetaire ❤️
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I heard your being our big sister so i just wanted to ask for some advice
This is kind of vulnerable and long so i apologize lol
So like ever since I was like 14 (im 18 now so like for four years now) i have had this thing where I have a feeling like something bad is going on. My body's always alert like something bad is going to happen to me any second. I think i might've killed my nervous system by now because GIRL im always so scared for no reason and i don't know why??
Especially at night I cant fall asleep because im so scared that ive done something so incredibly bad that someones out to get me. I always stay up late so tomorrow comes later ( i know that doesn't make sense but bare with me) with cold sweat, my heart feeling its being squeezed, the feeling of needing to throw up. And I only fall asleep after literately overthinking EVERYTHING that has ever happened to me.
Some nights if im exhausted I just sleep straight away, but like I take a while to sleep so like almost everyday is like this. It stresses me out SO BAD i can barely breathe and sometimes I'll cry from the overestimation because I just want to sleep but my thoughts are so loud omg.
Its been like this for 4 years but its gotten bad a couple months ago. I HAVENT GOT A WELL NIGHTS REST SINCE SEPTEMBER. I actually dont know who to ask for help on how to stop this.
And ALSO, I get nightmares so frequently like as frequent as normal dreams. Idk if that means anything but I thought i'd share.
So basically what im asking is if you have any tips on how to stop feeling like youre going to be killed every second of the day.
THANK YOU BOO
this sounds like a mix of adhd and anxiety. i have adhd and at night sometimes i get racing thoughts, when i’m having too many thoughts at one time so i can’t process any of them and i freak out because of it then cant sleep. i also get really vivid nightmares for weeks on end every couple of months.
i’ll be brutally honest, i take an edible (legally) to calm myself down LMAO but i know that’s not accessible to everyone. melatonin has also helped me (but sometimes i get weird dreams cause of it) but i wouldn’t do that every night because you’ll build a tolerance.
are you possibly in therapy and have mentioned this before? i have a friend who used to experience similar things and she got on anxiety medication, and hasn’t experienced that in awhile now.
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I need to insert my rsv pookies everywhere and since you can finish the main storyline with the spirit world and stuff pretty early in the game, in my mind farmer gets them to collaborate with the expanded adventurers and vice versa. I'm sure there would be ways to convince the heads of each organization, be it Belinda and Rae, Camilla and Magnus, or Marlon and Lance. Magnus has already worked with the ninjas in the past so it's not like they don't know of each other's presence. It could be done since they all want to defeat the evil forces threatening the balance, only maybe using different means. Farmer could act as a mediator, perhaps, and everyone could participate in different kinds of missions depending on what they are.
I know the two storylines will never intersect but a girl can dream 😭😭 In my mind they could be curious about each other and end up with some interesting fun group and even couple dynamics.
Imagine Jio stuck with Isaac on outpost duty. The vibes would be so rancid I just know it lmao. Those two grumpy idiots do NOT trust each other despite their bosses telling them to work together and collaborate. And Daia would love the Highlands, she'd sneak into the diamond cave and take samples for her geology studies, yes, but if she sneaks a couple of diamonds here and there to gift to her besties at Ridgeside... no one's going to stop her 😘✨️ I can also imagine Alesia shocked over the fact that one member of the cult is a trained assassin and a literal CHILD. When she sees her skills on the battlefield she's impressed but still can't help but worry.
Idk Mouse I'm going crazy lmao. Hades2 updated a couple days ago and I haven't even touched it because these idiots have me in a chokehold 😂
Yes, yes, yes! YES!
I've definitely written previously about the relationship between adventurers and mages with cult members, but it's mostly been either an unspoken truce/unwillingness to provoke conflict, or the two groups distrusting each other. As for the almost official co-operation, that's a cool idea, and has huge potential to be both serious fic and crack, hee hee~ 😁 Especially if Isaac and Jio are in the same place, you're so right.
Camilla and Belinda definitely had a past together, and I like to think of them as frenemies - different views on "best for the world" but both very strong, stubborn, and respectful of each other. Daia, with her interest in rocks and gems, would definitely be happy to travel with Lance and do some territory training (and teasing, heh). Alesia would begin to doubt that co-operating with the cult was a good idea, because... a child assassin... was beyond her comprehension. Though has a deep respect for Helen, even if she doesn't always agree with the Cult's methods. Jadu will run after a squeaky Kiwi in order to question the unusual Junimo (until shurikens fly in his direction, lol).
And then there's Jio and Isaac... Oh, that's a separate story. Constant arguments, reaching serious fights, when both sides need to separate these hotheads, complaints that each of them "coped with problems on their own, without outside help". Well, and then - my favorite part - there's the unforeseen circumstances that still made the noxious elf and the equally noxious adventurer work together, and they made a pretty good team. I even thought about starting some sort of romantic relationship, but I don't think it's going to go any further than a crack ship. Buuuuut, I said the same thing for Lance/Isaac... 👀
#thanks for the ask!#I definitely want to mention characters from the two mods in my stories#we'll see 👀#anyway thanks Lotus for this ask ☺️
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omg im that person who sent you an ask like months ago about how I was catelyn and Robb trash before I became aegon and alicent trash. You've been one of the few hotd blogs I can stand because woahh why is this fandom so pleased with mediocre nonsensical work???
Reading your thoughts on each episode was healing because it was like FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL, and even though I never fully read the books (yet), the show pissed me off so much (and I have a twin bro who loves it *sigh*)
Anyway, I just discovered that you used to be an aot fan because I stumbled upon an old gifset you made, and YOU'RE AN EREN FAN TOO? Like being a fan of Eren post finale is so bad because all the content creators and meta writers just do not understand my boy. So, this just me fangerling over this lol.
Lastly.....I had a couple friends who only watched the show, but haven't read the manga practically beg me to give jujutsu kaisen a chance. Seeing your blog posts have made me hesitate. Would you recommend? T-T
thank you, and im sleep deprived, so that might explain the atrocious grammar.
OH AND, THAT GRRM BLOG POST. I AM SO GLAD HE SAID SOMETHING. Everyone calling him whiny or unprofessional can stfu. It's his work. His art. I'm glad there are those defending him. Because the nonsense being pulled isn't acceptable.
Omg thank you for the compliments that's literally soooo sweet I really don't think my takes are all that so your words are very flattering, thank you very much 😭🫂 and omg yes I know you sent me an ask and I'm soo sorry I haven't responded yet 😭 I get a lot of asks my inbox is always full plus I'm a workaholic who does a lot of overwork that's why I'm barely online/on hiatus in the first place so asks get buried all the time and I tend to ignore my inbox because I get so overwhelmed it's literally a never-ending cycle I just can't get out of 😭😭 I'll try to answer this weekend but no promises 😓
Oh man don't remind me of those AOT days.... You couldn't even say you understood why Eren did what he did or why there were flaws with Armin's group et al or why there was a point to the Yeagerists without getting hounded ... but to be fair I do think Isayama sorta failed in conveying his messages and themes properly but oh well ... It's done and gone I AM FREE and I will never discuss AOT ever again lmao
About JJK...... man.... it hurts.... It was so good...... until it wasn't 😭 Listen it starts out as a 6 or 7 out of 10 until it grows into a pure 10 out of 10 score for the Hidden Inventory & Shibuya Incident arcs ... and then it falls down a steep cliff right into a, in my generous opinion, 2 out of 10 score 😖 Post-Shibuya is so bad I can't even explain it bc it hurts too much to think about... I used to love this series so much and it turned into... this... It's heartbreaking. I only recommend JJK to you if you're aware that it's not that good and it's mostly carried by its battles rather than its plot or characters. And tbh the community is fun. I've had the time of my life when JJK was at its peak in summer '23 and even if the manga is ending in a few weeks, the anime is still ongoing for a few years at least, so there's that too if you care about that ❤
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tag from @babyrdie and @greekmythologylover234 .
been a lot of tag games recently huh! thanks for remembering me 🤣
9 people you want to know better
i don't know enough people on here, but i'll be tagging @amnesiaa-on-ice @akhillaous @whorewhouse @naurumii @elnbnt @peggy-sue-reads-a-book
here are the questions to copy-paste:
three ships
first ship
last song
last tv show
currently reading
currently watching
currently eating
currently craving
my answers to them are under the cut so only those who are interested will be reading it (because i'll be yapping) lol
three ships
- patrochilles (duh; probably going to be my favorite, if i'm honest)
- kavetham (admits this semi-shamefully because the rest of the fandom is ass-- but i've left it. glad i did because the recent toxic community will never do me any good. i stressed, i die. simple. was a huge hyperfixation for a year or so though.)
- vashwood (it's been a while, but i really got obsessed with them and the show. watched 1997 once, stampede 3 times, not inclusive of the scattered episodes)
first ship
tbh no idea. it may or may not be solomon and saya from blood+ (great show great show) but i was around 7 when this happened and was just tagging along with whatever my sister had to say about things like these? i'm not a super shippy person either-- i'm not big on these things and certainly a lot less when i was younger. didn't have a lot of interest in couples prolly bc i had no idea what difference it had with friendship. just that you kiss and fuck or something. and i thought that was weird, or well, nothing much to it.
i guess you could say that the first pairing i've ever wanted to defend was zuko and katara from ATLA 🤣 nowadays i understand mai and zuko's relationship and i think it's pretty sweet, but back then i was fixated on zutara chemistry so whee🕺
last song
i haven't been playing music recently since i've been over at my partner's, but "done for" from epic the musical has been playing in my head since i woke up so there's that lol
last tv show
we were looking through netflix for an "easy" show to watch for dinner and got through 2 episodes of the exploding kittens show 🤣 played the game a lot when we got it, plus fond memories of things that happened whilst prompted us to check it out. it's an american tv show i guess, and i've never really vibed with those so it was alright, i guess. the kitties were cute.
currently reading
nothing. finished madeline miller's circe 3 days ago or so, though. my odyssey reading has been suspended for 2 weeks now but i guess it's because i'm pretty much kept up on the plot from randomly reading shit about it on the internet? i'm generally more of a "how did the story go?" person when i get into a book unless i become super obsessed with it. then, i'll dive into the nuances of text and its analysis. which hasn't been happening recently. i'll probably be balls-deep in academic text soon considering i haven't been a good student (our research adviser told us to start doing our thesis papers over the summer holiday so the process will be smoother... guess i'll be disappointing the prof who actually likes me ✊)
currently watching
nothing. finished castlevania (as well as the released season of nocturne) last month and i think that's my quota for shows for a while lol.
currently eating
fast food because the rain started pouring so hard. in time for lunch or so. it was a sign from the lord to spend and have a good time because the world might end tomorrow or something.
currently craving
the other items on the menu i didn't order- kidding lmao. a calzone for some reason, as well as a fizzy drink i usually get from a local cafe run by a nice old lady and youth on the drinks. ok, now i want her pesto sandwich.
ight i'll just eat now brb
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I know everyone's still (understandably!) yelling over the ending, so feel free to hold on to this ask for a while (or not answer it at all if you don't want to), but I just wanted to thank you guys for what you've done with Greystripe in this book. A few months ago I had a family tragedy and, much like our grey friend, dealt with it by neglecting my responsibilities and spending all day doing stuff I usually enjoyed (like sleeping or playing video games, not sneaking around with a Forbidden GF, lol). I was getting defensive towards people who were trying to help as well, despite the fact that even I knew I wasn't actually having a good time and this would just come back to bite me later. Thankfully, after a couple of months, I came to terms with the tragedy, realised I was sick of feeling sorry for myself, and managed to pull myself together—no wake-up call in the form of unwanted kids for me, lmao. But reading Greystripe's subplot really made me feel Seen—unlike in the original series, where he's just a naïve jerk, he actually has a motive for his dumbassery that is absolutely believable BC I've been through it, lol. Anyway, like I say, feel free to deal with this ask however you want; I just wanted to let you know that the grey boi really Resonated with me in this book in a way that he never could have in the official series ^^
This is a wonderful ask, anon. I'm sorry you went through that, but I am glad we could connect to you through Greystripe's arc. Highest hopes that things get better and better for you, and thank you for sharing this with us.
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maeumi & me - ch 21 : something love
a/n : this chapter alternates between written parts and tweets/texts so be sure to read them in order!
w.c. : around 1.5k
Even though Jungwon brushed off Jake's concerns, the truth is that the pain is starting to really bother him now. But he doesn't want to trouble anyone and besides, it isn't so bad that it's unbearable, so he decides to just put up with it until the morning when he could go buy himself some pain relievers. The late nights and work stress must be getting to him. He presses his fingers to his temples, massaging himself, which helps a little. He puts on some light music and leans back against the couch, closing his eyes and hoping to maybe fall asleep, but to no avail. It's partly because of the pain and partly because his mind is still buzzing with the image of you from earlier in the evening – the way your eyes lit up upon seeing him, your wide grin that made his heart skip a beat, the way you complained that you had missed him in an almost accusatory tone like you somehow knew he'd been avoiding you on purpose...
His thoughts are interrupted by Maeumi licking his ankle. Smiling, he bends down to scratch his ears. “Oh hi Maeumi, what's this you've got here?”
You don't know why, but you find it hard to not smile every time your phone pings with a text message from Jungwon. Especially since they've been a rare occurrence these past few days.
Won : Why is Maeumi suddenly so determined on bringing me every sock he can find?
You chuckle, thinking about all the times Maeumi's done that with you as well, ever so diligently. And then you remember why he does it and frown.
You : He used to do it with me whenever I was sick or upset about something.... Are you okay, Won?
Won : Ahhh
A couple of minutes pass and there's no other reply.
You : Won???
Won : Hi sorry. Um, would you believe me if I told you that I'm completely fine and he just started doing it out of nowhere?
Nonetheless, that is so freaking sweet 😩 I feel all warm knowing he cares about me enough to want me to feel better (even though I'm fine, really). I thought I was just some dude he liked hanging out with but he's truly accepted me 🥹
You : 1) Nope I don't believe you one bit
2) I think he accepted you long back when he marked his territory by peeing on your carpet
He chuckles, absentmindedly massaging his throbbing forehead. The light from the phone screen makes it worse but he wants to talk to you.
Won : Damn Y/n, you didn't even hesitate 💀 So it's his bark word over mine huh? 😔
And lmao yayy me
You : In certain matters I trust Maeumi more and it's not surprising as to why – you were lying, weren't you?
Won : Okay yeah but it's just a little headache so I was practically right
Ugh, how did it not strike you earlier? You were so happy to see him that you didn't even pause to question why he was home on a weekday. Or how tired he had looked.
You : Is it bad? Did you try taking any painkillers?
Won : Nahh, it's nothing really. And no, I ran out of Ibuprofen like a month ago and forgot to restock lol. But it's fine like I said, I can hardly feel it.
You : You want me to believe that you took a day off over nothing? Really Won?? Fine have you had your dinner at least?
Won : Umm I'm not really hungry rn
You : It's pretty late, you should still eat something
Won : I'll feel nauseous if I eat
You : Alright that's it
When you didn't say anything else after that last message, Jungwon just assumed you had gotten tired of trying to be helpful while he dismissed all your questions, and had gone on to do other work that was actually important. The last thing he expected was for you to show up at his door.
And yet here you are, less than 10 minutes later. Jungwon stands in the doorway gaping at you. You wait for a while, and when it doesn't seem like he's going to unfreeze anytime soon you decide to just let yourself in.
It's impossible not to smile when you hear the tap tap tap of Maeumi's paws hitting the floor as he comes running to greet you, wagging his fluffy little tail excitedly. “Hi babieee!” You crouch down to pet him and let him lick you to his heart's content, because God knows he's not gonna calm down until you give him the attention he needs.
You sneak a glance at Jungwon and gosh, there's that confused bunny face again. It's so insanely cute you want to walk over to him and squish his cheeks. Your cheeks turn red at the thought, and you immediately brush it away. Straightening up, you head to the kitchen. You fill a glass with water and walk back to Jungwon, handing it to him along with the Ibuprofen you'd brought with you.
“I've ordered Jjajangmyeon for the both of us, it'll be here in ten,” you announce as you turn towards the kitchen again, with both Jungwon and Maeumi trailing behind this time.
“Wha– what are you doing?”
You fill the kettle with water halfway through. “Making chamomile tea. It helps with headaches,”
“You came all the way here at 10.30 pm for this when you have an assignment due tomorrow???” His eyes are wide with incredulity.
Seriously? He's not well and your stupid assignment is what he's worried about? “The assignment can wait. You clearly don't know how to take care of yourself because at this rate you'll only end up making the pain much worse,”
“I can take care of myself just fine! I am fine!!” he protests, trying to take the kettle from you.
“Sure, you look it Won. Those dark circles and your ghastly pale complexion are truly the epitome of pink health,” you retort and he sulks. You have to resist the urge to smile because God, why is he so adorable? “Now come here,” you grab him by his arm and drag him back to the living room. The contact makes his skin tingle, and he tries not to give it too much thought. “No moving from here until I say so,” you sit him down on the couch and head back to get the tea ready, ignoring his whines of protest.
After dinner, he assures you that he’s feeling better already. He tells you he’ll be fine if you leave, and he's so convincing you almost believe him. That is, until he goes to fetch your bag and stumbles and almost falls flat on his face. Needless to say there was no getting you to leave after that. Jungwon wasn't too happy about it but he sure wasn't upset either.
Fortunately, you had brought your laptop with you, predicting that you might end up staying over. You look at the time – it's just a little over 11, which is not too late, at least not by your standards. If you stay up for an hour or two, you should be able to finish the assignment. You honestly don't mind - you're just happy you were able to help Jungwon in some way. And selfishly, you kind of like that you get to spend time with him at least this way, especially after not seeing him for so long. Well, it felt long anyway.
* * *
“No offense, but I’m really more of a coffee person,” Jungwon says, scrutinizing the beverage in the cup he’s holding.
You sit on the opposite end of the table, your gaze stern. “I don’t care. You’re drinking it.”
He sighs and takes a tentative sip. Scrunches up his face. “Nope, definitely not my cup of tea,” he confirms, and then laughs at his own unintended pun.
You have to suppress a laugh of your own but don't let it show. “Plug your nose if you have to. Finish it.”
He rolls his eyes. “You’re no fun,” he mumbles but does as he’s told.
* * *
After a lot of fussing and arguing, Jungwon finally concedes to letting you sleep on the couch. There's no way you would have him sleep anywhere but on his own bed, where he would be most comfortable, especially when he's not feeling his best. Besides, you remind him, you need to stay up late to finish your work, and the couch would be more practical. He starts apologising again for inconveniencing you, and you threaten to make him drink more chamomile tea which effectively shuts him up.
So it's no wonder that when he's all settled in bed and turned off the lights, he's a little surprised to see your silhouette walk in. He watches curiously as you pull up a chair next to his bed and take a seat.
“Where exactly does it hurt?” you ask.
He frowns, touching his forehead. “What are you– holy crap that feels good...”
You chuckle, relieved that he can't see or feel the way you hands are slightly trembling from nervousness. The side of your palm brushes against his warm forehead as you gently press the ice pack onto it – you had brought that along with the tea packet and the pills. You hadn't thought much of it before, but now that you're actually here doing it, it suddenly feels so intimate. But weirdly, it feels natural too. You brush some of his hair out of the way so you can cover all the spots - temple, forehead, temple. You alternate between the three, a comfortable silence settling over the two of you.
“I can do it myself you know,” he says quietly.
“I know. I also know that it feels better when someone else does it for you.” You're glad you waited until he turned the lights off to do this, because you get the feeling you would've been a blushing mess otherwise.
Jungwon is glad too, not just because the darkness helps alleviate the pain, but also because for some reason his eyes have gotten a little misty now, and he's glad you can't see it.
“Thank you,” he sighs, his pain and consciousness drifting away soon after.
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#soooo ig this turned into a bit of hurt comfort#hehe#kpop fluff#enhypen fluff#enhypen imagines#enhypen smau#enhypen x gender neutral reader#kpop smau#yang jungwon social media au#kpop imagines#tag : maeumi & me#yang jungwon x reader#jungwon fluff#yang jungwon smau#yang jungwon#enhypen x reader#enha fluff#enhypen#enhypen hurt/comfort
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I know I made a post about this last night but this is FRRR BUGGING MEEEE so I'm gon speak on it again because I fuckin can this is my blog the fuck 💀💀
LOOONGGG rant ahead guys b warned LMAO
Anyways, the mass amounts of internalised racism within fandoms created by Snow White's descendants is actually insane. Even crazier in this fandom bc let's be fr, it may be small but it is HELLA diverse in here, when it comes to actual ppl anyway...them ocs tho...
That anon last night (and many others bc yall LOVE to yap abt POC but nobody holds the cloudy crusaders accountable) nobody is saying anyone owes anyone rep, but it's also unfair to Erik to say that his writing is "slanted" by his white privilege. When he literally has tons of POC coded characters which is why the fandom mainly agrees that they r infact POC, confirmed or not that counts as a representation of our lived experience. And I cannot stress this enough, the characters and Erik are not the same. Yes he pours a little of himself in all of his characters I like to think, but a character is never truly a direct reflection of it's writer. Project all you want they're still not identical, meaning they 9 times outta 10 are gonna have a different life experience, background, beliefs, habits, ethnicity etc. Also meaning that there was probably research done on others' experiences, which yall obviously can't be bothered to do bc all ur ocs r either a cloud, whipped cream or fucking reflective. So if anyone's writing is tainted by privilege it's YALLS.
And imma use myself as an example bc I used to do this shit too, which is probably why it pisses me off so bad. Back a couple years ago when I originally found redacted, all my OCs were originally supposed to b white men....dramatic pause, however comma, with this thing called growth and accountability I learned that, that was in fact internalised racism AND sexism because I had lived my life wishing I could be exactly that. White. A cis man. I don't think yall get it, there was internalised. self. loathing. Fueled by the racism and sexism that I had been taught. And it is a choice you gotta make to open your fucking eyes and hold yourselves accountable bc this goes so much deeper than just yalls endless Taylor Swift clones.
POC rep even to this day is a fucking gem bro. And white ppl have been consistently catered to in real life AND in media. Stop bashing POC for a situation that has always been lose-lose. We're told to fuck off white creators and go make our own, and then we do and those creations and stories are ignored and disregarded or outright criticised for the lack of ass kissing to whites. Let's talk about the initial reaction to ATSV/ITSV. There were COUNTLESS white windbag brained bitches flocking to the internet to complain because there were "hardly any white ppl" and it was "too diverse." Do you see where I'm going with this? No? Lemme break it down
Yall are so accustomed to being catered to that you expect POC media to do the same, and when it doesn't you fucking condemn it. This is exactly why some POC don't WANT to make stories of their own because yall snow-snobs have your heads to far up your asses that you can't be bothered to step outside your comfort zone and maybe just take a peek at how a POC may feel on the daily. Which is why the few of yall that DO care and DO portray things similar or exactly like our lived experience, we color the FUCK OUTTA THEM BITCHES HELLO???
I don't think you guys understand how exhausting it is to have a voice that nobody cares to hear. And when we are heard, our words are twisted. Like in this exact case bro. Yall are bitching and moaning bc POC are actually using the voices that we had to FIGHT TO EVEN HAVE in the FIRST PLACE. And again yall are painting POC as the aggressors when we are literally just making observations. Headcanoning an entire cast as white blonde and blue eyed isn't fucking normal and the fact that yall are now riled up because people are speaking on it just proves your privilege. Because you will never have to fight for media to show your experiences and you'll never have to turn to people who don't care and beg them to amplify your voice.
Anyways enjoy this rant lmao, many more to come!! Not specifically about this but there r QUITE a few issues as of late 💀🙏
#HELP ITS SO LONG BSBSSN#But deadass though yall need to take off your white colored glasses omfg#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#karmic antics
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WIP Wednesday
I was tagged by @wanderingaldecaldo to share some stuff I'm working on so AU rambling it is!
(Also I just realized that I am once again so behind on keeping up with my mentions and asks. I need more hours in the day. 😭)
So as some of y'all know, I am a long-time Tomb Raider super fan, and facets of OG Lara Croft almost always influence my OCs because she is just goals. Valerie was no exception here--Her canon street style and effortlessly cool and tough yet elegant vibes were very much inspired by the one and only Lady Croft.
When I realized that across these three mods (one, two, three) I could make a Tomb Raider Underworld-inspired outfit for Valerie, that just became my sole reason for living for like six hours.
Initially, I wasn't planning on delving into a story or anything with the shots--I just wanted to play with some Tomb Raider-esque settings to get a little break from the high-tech/low-life urban setting to refresh the muse--But then I realized this could actually be the perfect setting to explore another idea I had been sitting on for a while.
I had wanted to play with a Yakuza!Goro AU for some time now (turning to a life of organized crime if Arasaka hadn't picked him up has always seemed like something that could have been in the realm of possibility based on the little bit he shares about his childhood), and Lara does get tangled up with some Yakuza shenanigans in some storylines so 💡💡💡 Treasure Hunter/Yakuza AU: I Only Play for Sport (based on Lara's iconic one-liner in the intro of the 1996 game) was officially born!
Work has been nuts the past few weeks, and I didn't really feel like trying to figure out how to mod tats on Goro myself, so I asked the wonderful @86maylin if she was up for a private commission. Luckily, she was. 🙏🙏🙏 (Thank you again, May!)
This has also been another journey into building with AMM--I have a few very specific scenes in mind, and I wanted them to be in totally original settings created specifically for this AU instead of defaulting to my usual locations (like Hanako's estate).
To kick that off, I decided I wanted to make a little living space for Goro. I got a lot of good practice building a stage, essentially, when I did the little villainess shoot a little while ago, so I felt pretty confident that I could put together something loosely inspired by the Tokyo penthouse Lara visits in Tomb Raider Legend.
That game is almost 20 years old now, though, so the assets there were obviously very limited, and I wanted to make something a little more complete and cozy for Goro's home base, as it were. I'm still not finished with it (maybe like 75% of the way there), but I'm pretty happy with the progress:
And another huge thank you to @bnbc and @arasakas-ronin for y'all's prop packs because they have done a lot to add some of that cool-artifact-treasure-hunting goodness to the scene. (I've used a lot but I think this toy set and this decor set were most prominently used.)
And as for the story itself?
Well, no one's here for the plot, right? 😅
I am slowly working on a couple of photostories inspired by some scenes in the Tomb Raider movies and games, and I have a general gist of the premise: Valerie is a wealthy heiress with a fondness for adventure and recovering lost artifacts with presumed supernatural abilities, and Goro is the right-hand man of a Yakuza boss who has a similar interest in such artifacts. They end up having their sights set on the same artifact (currently unknown to me, lmao, although I am very aware of the issues with the genre when it comes to, yanno, glorifying white Westerners stealing shit from other cultures so I want to be mindful that I don't fall into that same pitfall) and sexy rival treasure hunter shenanigans ensue.
So this is what I've been working on! It's a total pet project, I'm so excited about it, and I figured the time between now and Phantom Liberty coming out would be the best time to just go ham with photomode and mods and create a totally self-indulgent crossover that combines my great video game loves.
And one last thing before I shut up, because I wanna share how Tomb Raider has always been a part of Valerie's background: her surname, Powell, was inspired by Manfred Powell, the antagonist in the 2001 Tomb Raider movie. Bonus fact: I used the name "Nishimura" in this photo story, which is also the name of two characters in the Tomb Raider universe (Lara's friend Toru Nishimura in Legend and her girlfriend Sam Nishimura in the 2013 reboot.)
Okay, if you read all of this, you're now legally obligated to share something you've been working on, too. 💙
#t: wench.txt#oc: valerie v powell#c: goro takemura#ship: goro x valerie#g: cyberpunk 2077#kinda#au: i only play for sport
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20 questions for fic writers
Thank you for the tag, @anyawen! These were so much fun!
Answers under the cut, and tagging @sweetbabyangels, @mr-iskender, @stinastar, @aprettyspy and @thestalwartheart, in case you haven't done this already and it's of interest!
1. How many works do you have on AO3? 30! That number seems astonishing to me now, considering I started writing fic in earnest like a year-and-a-half ago. 😁
2. What’s your total A03 word count? 138,358
3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond, Glass Onion/Knives Out, and I just wrote my first fic for The Old Guard fandom, which has pulled me in by the lapels and refused to let me go. And the very first fic I ever wrote was for Stardew Valley.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. A Good Man (Benoit Blanc/Phillip) 2. rain (00q) 3. open line (00q) 4. The More Loving One (00q) 5. Must Love Cats (00q)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Ok yes I definitely do and I love to *and also* I'm so sorry, I'm 288 days (yes I just checked) behind in responding to comments, because this year has been...something else. So, taking the opportunity to say that a) all of your comments are incredible bright spots for me, and b) I am working my way steadily through and enjoying your comments all over again as I re-read and respond to them.
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? WELP (eyes my pile o' fics warily). If we go based off the fics with "Major Character Death" as a warning, for a certain value of angst, it's a tie between offering and and the wind at their backs. But both of these fics deal with grief, and the complicated emotions that result from the persistence of love even after the object of that love is gone, and there's some hope in that, too, I think.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? lmao most of the rest of them other than the two in number 6? 😂 this is a hard one to answer, so I'll list my RomCom-iest fics for now (Must Love Cats for 00q and in a space that they belong for The Old Guard). Special shout-out to 'tis the damn season, though, because the happiness at the end of this fic feels like some of the hardest fought, to me, and some of the tenderest I've written, I think.
8. Do you get hate on fics? No--I've gotten a few less than diplomatic comments, and a couple people making unflattering notes in bookmarks that I don't think they meant for me to see, but nothing terrible.
9. Do you write smut? ::offers you rain and for the age of the earth, and after as if I am a sommelier presenting you with some very fine wine:: "this one has notes of--" you know what I'm just going to stop there.
10. Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, thank goodness (knocks on wood).
12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! #goals
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Use. Your. Words., which was a collaborative poem for 007 fest 2023. 😁
14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? I spent about five minutes hemming and hawing about this but you know what, it's impossible to pick. 😂
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Like Anyawen, I have aspirations of finishing all the ones hanging out in my Scrivener app...someday. Probably the one I have the most doubts about is a 5 + 1 fic where Bond tries out different activities post retirement. I still love the idea and some of the vision I had for this one, but it lives almost entirely in my head, still.
16. What are your writing strengths? I think maybe I have a good ear for language, both in terms of the rhythm of sentences and paragraphs, and for conveying a character's voice or accent. But it's hard to assess your own strengths, sometimes, so that's just my best guess!
17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm actively working on trying to be better at descriptions, especially in giving details about setting or background. I realized I give these things short shrift, sometimes, and want to change that!
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll do it with languages I'm fluent in (and have done it with Spanish, since I'm a native speaker).
19. First fandom you wrote for? Stardew Valley, in What Dreams May Come.
20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Omg, another one that is almost impossible to answer! I think I have to go with all the flags we've hung. This is one of my least popular fics--it's a rarepair, the love depicted in it is complicated (though no less real), and it deals with light topics like, you know, structural racism in the United States. As one does. But it's a fic that's incredible close to my heart, for many reasons, and I remain so proud of this one.
Phew! If you have read all of this you deserve a cupcake. 💜
xoxo, Ani
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