#don't even get me started on mary
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If one more person misconstrues Arthur's journal entry about how he should have married Abigail as genuine romantic attraction I will actually lose it. OBVIOUSLY IT WAS TO SUPPORT HER AND JACK AND FILL THE ROLE JOHN RAN FROM!!! Marriage for the sake of convenience and support is nothing new folks. It was not lust nor love. I personally don't even think Arthur had anything with Abigail at any point. They were just two troubled souls that had leant on each other in a desperate situation. Y'all are stirring a hollow pot talking about how John would've felt reading that entry. He probably didn't even give a damn because he knew well Arthur's insistence on giving Abby and her boy at least some semblance of stability.
#don't even get me started on how the brodude rdr2 fans throw abigail around like a ragdoll#and sadie!#let's completely ignore every human part of this character and only acknowledge and analyze them in the context of the men they interactwith#nahh sadie was the one for arthurnahh mary-beth was hot too mann#i start experiencing zoochosis when i reach this side of the fandom#please stop projecting your shitty comprehension skills on characters more profound than your brain matter#thankyou#rdr2#red dead fandom#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#abigail roberts#abigail marston#john marston#pinethinks
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One day I will write an entire piece on why Ranni's questline is a perfect example of a subtle, gothic, and chivalric romance story but one that still manages to be so blatantly in your face about both the Tarnished and Ranni's feelings for one another that you can't miss it. And yet, people still insist that it's platonic because Ranni isn't jumping into the Tarnished's arms and proclaiming her undying affection for them (even though she does say she loves them in her own quiet way with the fucking key but I digress) and it makes me fear that reading literacy is at an all-time low worldwide.
#don't even get me started on the people who only talk about how it can't be romantic because "they can't have sex#like my brother in christ what are you talking about and why is that a qualifier for romance???#why can't they just chill or why can't you be more creative#also ranni is literally a god now so if you really care or want it to happen in your headcanon just say she moved to a new body#add this to the im high and reddit pissed me off masterlist#lunar princess ranni#ranni x tarnished#ranni the witch#literally the entire latter half of her questline could have come out of a Mary Shelley book#the tarnished#tarnished elden ring#elden ring
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"Daniel was the real bull..."
"It's Sam's fault that..."
"Miyagi is a lying murderer and thief..."
"Maturing is understanding that Johnny opened the dojo for the kids and Daniel just to glaze Miyagi..."
"Robby is a cheater..."
"Johnny must forgive Kreese..."
"Daniel is just a spiteful person, he should have forgiven *insert character who hurt him in the past and who has not shown any signs of changing much*..."
"Nerf.."
"Prime..."
(and there's still more)
#Yes#Johnny (and Daniel) cares about the kids but he didn't initially open the dojo out of the goodness of his heart.#the ck fandom exasperates me so much#Don't even get me started on how much they hate Raph#Mary#or Tanner.#cobra kai#They say that Miyagi-do “weakens” students and that Cobra Kai makes them get their “prime” when it only turns them into aggressive bullies#(I said what I said and I won't change my mind)#fandom toxicity#ck negativity
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oh, i figured out aya's skill.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd aya#ngl this like is making me lose my mind because she's had one this entire time#and it's so fucking obvious in retrospect#but was like. was introduced. slowly. it was not really obvious at first. but you can look back and see how it's present even in the ova.#anyway i don't mean to tease but i wrote out about a third of the theory and then started cracking open other parts of the story with sarah#and now i'm exhausted so i'm going to sleep#but i am certain. like there is no doubt in my mind. that i know what aya's skill is. it fits textually and metatextually#and explains a cryptic comment asagiri made in an interview.#where he said watch aya. like. most of what's been incredible has been obvious.#but no. you can see her skill. and it's SUCH a love letter to aya koda.#in a way i was worried he wouldn't pull off. because it felt like her skill was going to manifest from the stress. and it would be like op.#which isn't. who she was. she was a subtler sort of brilliant. one who exemplified virtue. and this skill is so. it's so good. it's fitting#it also explains akutagawa's dragon outfit.#like. there are a lot of theories i've had that are theories. this is not one of them. we might get the confirmation next chapter.#unfortunately i will need to lay out some confucian concepts for it to make sense. hence why i'm saving this for later. but i'm.#asagiri is insane i want to pick his brain and also follow him around like mary magdalene and learn from him.
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Everyday I get more annoyed at how the people on Ao3 have decided to tag Cassandra and Junior.
#It is so annoying when I'm looking for Casey Jones FanFictions and I go and put in the tag “Casey Jones” and a bunch of Junior fics pop up#And then when I go to search for junior fics I JUST HAVE TO PUT THE GENERAL CASEY JONES TAG WHEN I'M JUST LOOKING FOR JUNIOR#WHY IS HE JUST TAGGED AS CASEY JONES HE'S NOT THE CASEY JONES OF RISE HE IS THE SHADOW EQUIVALENT THE CASEY MARIE OF RISE#Look I get why Cassandra has her own tag it's annoying but it's understandable WHY IS JUNIOR JUST UNDER CASEY JONES THEN#IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE#AT LEAST HAVE BOTH OF THEM HAVE DIFFERENT TAGS OR JUST TAG CASSANDRA AS CASEY BECAUSE SHE IS#And when I go searching for specifically Casey Jones FanFictions as in the original Casey Jones I can't even filter out rise because I love#Crossovers with all my heart#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HOW SOME PEOPLE DEAL WITH CROSSOVERS#I HATE IT WHENEVER THEY JUST ERASE CASSANDRA FROM EXISTENCE HIS NAME IS CASEY JUNIOR FOR A REASON#IT'S COOL IF YOU DON'T LIKE HER CHARACTER I MEAN SHE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE HER#BUT DON'T JUST ERASE A CHARACTER BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT#This probably has roots in unintentional sexism of people but I am not the person to go into a deep dive on that#I had to get that out of me#a rare original post#Casey Jones#Cassandra Jones#Casey Jones Jr#rottmnt#tmnt
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Being a woc fan of Bridgerton can be a struggle, especially when it comes to liking the poc characters on the show, especially the woc. Like I remember when s1 came out and the blatant microaggressions and just plain racism coming from this fandom was atrocious. You had people spewing very hateful things about Charlotte, Marina, and Simon and undermining the latter two's pain and trauma at the hands of the white characters---Marina was treated terribly by the Featheringtons and, whether you like Penelope or not, you cannot deny that she also played a part by releasing that letter to the Ton and Simon was violated Daphne no matter how people try to spin the story to offer her some form of sympathy (it still blows my mind that people would want to though).
S2 is just as bad (not even including how they changed the Sharma family's storyline than how it was in the books when that wasn't necessary) and the racist undertones many of the fans have towards Mary and Edwina (as well as Kate but for her it's carries more brown woman needing to be saved by a white man when Anthony is involved because a lot of you all in the fandom are quick to use this trope such as "oh, he's the only one who truly knows her"). The lack of screen time for this family really ends up hurting them to but even with that, whether you like Mary and Edwina or not, it would be a lie to deny the racism a lot in the fandom hold towards them (and how that falls onto the actresses because it was very apparent how many in the fandom couldn't let two Desi women shine without having to bring down the other and Netflix played into that too for drama) and paints every small thing they do as being terrible crimes but in the same breath will not have the same smoke for the Bridgertons, who have their own set of problems (but because they are also the main family, among other things, they are provided more grace without consequences).
#bridgerton#edwina sharma#kate sharma#mary sharma#marina thompson#queen charlotte#simon basset#like fandoms can be a very hostile place especially toward poc#and don't even get me started on some fans acting like they care about the poc characters but only still fall into the tropes i presented#im nervous for how this post will be received bc ngl when people call out the racist antics in bridgerton people love to downplay it#and that's just not right (for any fandom)#and this impacts actors too bc there should be no reason that charithra can hardly be excited about her role in the show#or how ruby had received so much hate that (probably) as a result had two breakdowns#on top of still being asked by polin and pen fans to denounce marina to uplift their white faves#dni if you can't have a calm conversation here#also seeing the creator of the show say for s3 kathony that there won't be as much angst#more happy couple scenes irks me in a way bc that amount of angst didn't have to flood s2 if they weren't so concerned with pointless drama#like the books themselves gave enough angst without the engaged to your sister plotline and such#also would have made anthony seem like less of a prick and actually respect a woman's honor but nope#don't even get me started on how it seems more common for the poc characters to have to gripe and struggle#(especially with things that....they should not be blamed for) at the hands of or as result of white characters#when in the same breath that courtesy isn't extended to said white characters#(e.g. marina having to push colin in pen's direction even though both failed her#to simon begin assaulted and then blamed for it by daphne and the narrative#to kate having to move mountains to grow (even though for most part she wasn't wrong) but don't even see anthony apologize for his actions)#all the actors especially the woc experience racism (and other forms of discrimination) from this fandom#i haven't even gotten into the shitshow from some fans towards simone and the actor who plays simon#as well as the racism the actresses for queen charlotte faced#a lot of yall need to do better
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y'all ever just chilling and then out of the blue you're hit by how absolutely devastating the Marauder's story actually is.
Like, they were just kids.
They were just kids.
#they shouldn't have had to fight a war.#most of them died too young#they deserved so much more#they deserved the world#Remus lost everything while Dumbledore lost nothing#don't even get me started on rab and sob#they break me#*sighs* and opens Just Lovers again#it's my emotional support fic#marauders#regulus black#james potter#sirius black#marauders era#lily evans#mary mcdonald#doctor who spoilers#evan rosier#barty crouch jr#pandora#i genuinly don't think i could watch a show or a movie about them#bc idk if it's ever going to hold a candle to what fandom has created around these characters
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everyday i try to be normal but the i remember when beard was taken care of and it makes me go WAHHHHHHHHH
#what really gets me about beard after hours#is that whenever beard ASKS for help it's rejected#but people OFFER their help anyways!!!#he wants to talk about jane = mae yells at him#but the pub trio offer their company so he's not alone#mary offers her help when he rips his pants#beard asks for help from the lady on the bus but she rejects him#he asks for help from the concierge but he rejects him#he even starts to ask for help from james before he realizes who he is and he gets his ass BEAT#AND THE BUFF BOYFRIEND HELPS HIM#the pub trio pick him up and take care of him#''you don't accept the love and support from the people around you'' but when he asks he gets rejected#yet people offer their help anyways#even when beard asked if ted wanted to come with him ted said no (OBVIOUSLY the audience knows the context. beard doesn't)
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I'm going to say something some of my fellow Tobirama fans are not going to like but I'm going to say it anyway:
Karin's 👏 sensing 👏 abilities 👏 are 👏 far 👏 more 👏 advanced 👏 than 👏 Tobirama's! 👏👏
Tobirama has to mould chakra to actively sense, and when he does, he can only detect the number of chakra signatures within a certain parameter.
Karin is the one who can sense completely unconsciously, and detect the size, reserves and potency of someone's chakra, as well as tell the feelings of a person to some extent.
Maybe Tobirama's sensing abilities were the best in his times, that's perfectly possible, but by the time Karin is born, she has surpassed him. And you know what? Good for her!!!
Please stop making Tobirama some kind of all-knowing empath, not even Karin can tell the exact feelings of someone just from reading their chakra. You're making him boring; he's already ridiculously powerful as it is, put some damn limits on his abilities, for fuck's sake. 🙄
#senju tobirama#he invented a bajilion jutsu; he's the fastest shinobi of their generation; he has massive chakra reserves; he's proficient in ninjutsu and#taijutsu and kenjutsu and fuuinjutsu AND iryou-jutsu; he can control all 4 elements; and he's the strongest sensor of his generation#WHY do you want to make him some hyper-sensitive empath on top of all that???#you're making him boring my god stop it#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THAT NONSENSE ABOUT TOBIRAMA EXPLODING OPPONENTS FROM WITHIN BY DRAWING THE BLOOD OUT OF THEM BC THE BODY IS#LARGELY MADE OUT OF WATER AND HE HAS PERFECT WATER CONTROL#I'VE SEEN THIS ILLOGICAL JUTSU IN SO MANY FICS ONCE TOO OFTEN ARGH#IT MAKES NO SENSE#THERE ARE SOME LAWS EVEN FOR SHINOBI#THERE ARE SOME LIMITS!!!!#STOP MARY-SUE-ING HIM#goddd#sorry that needed to get out
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goes into tags for one of my fandoms. watches that one fandom's wheel of fortune swing back around to 'why are m*rder hornets building nests on my blog?'
#the metaphor is thus: someone in fandom wants to create a hornet character. no one wants to interact with hornets.#bc they sting and hurt irl. some people in comm might even belong to cultures where hornets hurt their relatives or themselves.#the hornet fan gets mad. we're oppressing them! we're mean because we won't write with them! then they think they hit a hail mary:#'how can you be mad at me writing a hornet when you guys play dragons and 0wlbears? they're way more deadly.'#and so we all shut up sit back and watch the hornet fan begin to panic that actual irl stinging hornets start circling their content#and entrenching themselves in fandom after a long winter hiatus bc everyone else sprayed them with pesticide last time they rolled up.#the whole house is infested. the hornet fan has to run. abandon blog. they swear they're not an actual hornet and don't understand why#their hornet-aligned content attracted real life hornets.#they realize the difference between irl hornets and the fictional dragons and 0wlbears.#all a metaphor for an irl h*te group that for some reason people want to romanticize/make cool villains around...#in a fandom based around the dragons and 0wlbears killing and eating hornets.#fuckin wild it's happening again.#out of stories#SIPPING MY MILK AS I SHAKE UP A BIG CAN OF FASH-B-GONE BC THE EDGY COLLEGE KIDS DON'T REALIZE SOME CONTENT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE P0LITICAL#AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF THAT GROUP IS JUST GONNA SEE PROPAGANDA WHEN YOU DRAW YOUR KAWAII OC IN THE UNIFORM --#WE'RE NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE WE'VE DONE THIS DANCE TO DEATH WHENEVER THIS SHIT EMBOLDENS THE ACTUAL ASSHOLES.#WHEN WE SAY 'HEY DON'T DO THAT' IT'S NOT COMING FROM A PLACE OF CENSORSHIP IT'S 'HEY YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG WE DON'T WANT THAT.'#vent //#tbd //
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like I am no longer so sick that I am in genuine fear of not surviving long enough for things on a timescale that a normal person looks forward to, like I am kinda taking it as a given that I will be around for christmas and will be able to make at least some presents in a way I Could Not take for granted last year. but I am still not well enough to consistently do everything I want to do, even when my aspirations are very modest like taking a bath. and that still feels very precarious, like I have to squeeze whatever I can out of the energy I've recovered in case it all disappears again. even though there's finally finally finally someone else actively building defenses along with me.
I was legitimately concerned I was going to die, and for good reason. not imminent, not immediate, that would be too kind. just that I had so very little left, and I could see the watchspring winding down. I could be relatively certain at any given time that I would probably be alive in a week (for some value of "alive"), but not a month, and certainly not a year. I was setting mileposts for myself that were only weeks apart, and they were challenging. survive until the hematologist. survive until christmas. survive until the biopsy. survive until the biopsy results. survive until the new insurance comes in. survive until we find an immunologist. survive until we see the immunologist.
and suddenly I could finally, literally, fuckin breathe again.
most existential horror feels so trite in comparison to the valleys I've fuckin walked through. meanest motherfucker indeed.
#I was thinking about still being too unwell to start lifting weights again#and it tangented hard when I realized I don't feel the constant shadow of death#and I do think a big part of it was I was literally too sick to think.#but this immunologist has the ability to think even without me.#which is. novel. we'll say.#so even though I'm still unstable I don't anticipate unmitigated freefall for any longer than it takes to realize and get an appointment.#as opposed to. you know. 2 years with a single hail mary in the middle.#that the first provider I managed to find actively slapped out of my fucking hands.
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So at some point this afternoon I'm discussing with my boss a change in my schedule in order to attend some community college classes on audio engineering, with the intent to get the certificate.
I posed it as just a personal interest, but it's really me trying to fully pivot career paths, so fingers crossed that we get it to work.
#if we don't figure it out then i continue applying for basically anything else#preferably something that will point me in the direction I'm trying to go though#i don't want to start with it but i may even get in touch with some ADR folks i know but that's the hail Mary i think#personal#DejaBlonde#audio engineering#work stuff
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screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!
#not about j we're good - about the friend who i haven't shut up about in the 14 years i've been on the hellsite#the fun part is that i know his forever career and his forever whereabouts and it will break my heart into shards for the rest of my life!#and goddamnit we weren't romantically together but instead together as part of a weirdly codependent friend group of four and we were#near identically weird and fucked up emotionally and in our humor and how we spoke and how we meshed and i will NEVER fucking get over it!!#i'm still agog that i sent you a last chance hail mary sort of letter like the lyrics in this song about how i think about you often and#have always believed in you and been rooting for you like all the rest of us who knew you before things got really bad because you were and#are such a fucking incredible person and musician and friend and so smart and creative and LOVABLE! i said that in the letter without#realizing alanis said that in one of THE best lost love songs of all goddamn time!#i wish i could tell you one more time - right now today immediately or better yet five years ago - how i have always loved and admired you#and everything about you. even now. all the way out here in iowa i am still loving you with everything i have in me every single day#knowing i will never speak to or see you again [i think about you all the time but i don't need the same] and i finally started to admit#that to myself and my friends and my therapist in 2021 and i'm more at peace with it than i ever was or thought i could be in 2019 and 2020#but i know it's gonna take my whole lifetime to get a grip on it and accept it. and it'll stop hurting one of these days. i know it will#i don't think i've ever loved a friend as much as I loved you. i think you were the best friend i've ever had#and that's one of the nastiest parts of it - we were good friends and you did seem to like me plenty#but i think i was the w-h-auden_morelovingone.txt by a mile. i was a weird obsessed stage 10 clinger.#and that's surely a large part of the dwelling and the fixation. if things had been more equal then maybe it'd be very different now.#guess i'll die because i sure ain't finding out!!#HELLO LOVES HAVE SOME RICH NUTRITIOUS ANNIE LORE ON THIS FINE FREEZING COLD SUNDAY AFTERNOON!#love letters
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me: Glitch never cared about Macbeth. He was just a tool to her. The moment he stopped doing what she said & following her she threw a tantrum so bad he almost died. Macbeth literally had to recreate his Avatar because the corruption from Glitch made him into something he wasn't/could never me (ie; a Reaper. PLUS he has extreme thanatophobia) (he changed it to a Fae since typically in games they're meant to Heal & that's what he wants to do...atone for his sins basically). Glitch made him a Reaper so he could kill/do harm. She never saw him as a person & Matthew (Beta!Macbeth) will always feel responsible for the people he hurt despite the fact he was being mind controlled during all of it.
also me: haha macaroni & wires....
#paraportal#luka.txt#genevieve eyler#macbeth torrence#game: im not the one#console: phantasmagoria#glitch & macbeth#whatever deep analysis i have of glitch & macbeth is immediately cancelled out by the fact that their ship name is a pun#macbeth = macaroni (one of my paras called him a ''stale piece of macaroni'' and it's stuck ever since)#glitch = wires bc shes a computer error/has electrokinesis. macaroni & cheese...macaroni & wires....everytime i think about it i laugh a bi#don't even get me STARTED on macbeth & mary man. matthew cannot catch a BREAK with these Unhinged Women omg.#tbf gothic romance is. a LOT healthier than mac&wires. at least mary cares for macbeth!!#para ships
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my husband and i got exceedingly hammered last night and he proceeded to explain the history of catholicism & christianity to me so i could write more accurate porn fjbmgfbkj #blessed
#silver jelly#wish i remembered it a little more but it's okay he drew diagrams#difficult bc i think i was picturing joseph's parents as catholics and that wouldn't make sense if i also hc that they're the ones who#helped him get his job (or at least his foot in the door.) he's just def not a catholic.#but wait HMMMMM what if that was another point of rebellion/contention. he started in the catholic church but it never Felt Right#not as a priest but something very like. beginner. idk maybe even a youth minister there too.#having a job that's Almost It is so hard jbmkbg okay anyway. it makes his parents really happy and he stays for uhhhh probably less than#a year but probably more than a couple of months bc it's been sooooo long since he was able to make them happy.#but it doesn't make HIM happy at least not exactly. catholicism never did (he strikes me as a catholic school kid probably through#all his schooling so he's known for a long time that a lot of it doesn't resonate.) and maybe this is where mary comes in.#and maybe she gives him the confidence he needs to find a church that's more aligned with his beliefs and his approach to faith.#there's a talk where she's like 'you're miserable and this is going to be your life if you don't get away from what's making you miserable'#sad and foreshadowy bc. well.#so he goes to Thee Maple Bay Church that we see in canon. he's not in the cul-de-sac yet. this is also before he and mary were even dating.#and maybe that's part of what makes her fall for him. it takes a lot of strength to leave your job and your family's church.#she sees him as a guy who takes action. this is also sad foreshadowing.#god this is SO JUICY fjbmigkj#but what is he now you may ask???? still no idea <3#the christiansen mess
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one of the problems with coming up with dnd cocktails is that Aubree's family are vintners and have been for generations, so my brain has a hard time getting past 'oh she doesn't get one, hers is just red wine', which is boring (and also I don't like red wine), but trying to think as far as narrative flavor the next-most obvious thing to me would be something like a bloody mary-- a robust hair of the dog type thing that's almost as much a meal as it is a cocktail... but bloody maries also have always sounded kinda gross to me :')
#also it's so out of my wheelhouse? how am I supposed to reinvent a similar CONCEPT to a bloody mary without it just. being one#justin as I was telling him all this: aubree's cocktail comes with a pancake#me: aubree's is just an egg sandwich and a cup of coffee and it's called the 'rough night‚ huh?'#anyway idk maybe I'm being overly contrarian but starting with wine (or wine based spirits) feels like... low hanging fruit?#admittedly I think also the problem is that 'a glass of wine' or even 'a bloody mary' isn't something I get to invent lol#and like-- I've started working on a nyssa inspired drink that starts with pink moscato and adds a bunch of liqueurs#but the effect I'm going for there is 'satyr wine' being 'wine but Sweeter and Stronger'#so like. 'start with wine and then add a bunch of bullshit' doesn't make the same kind of sense for aubree#I suppose anything barrel aged would be a good place to start but that still feels kinda weak lol#anyway! I'm thinking about this instead of doing the shopping I said I'd nail down between sessions dfjgkhgdf#'the truffles' and it's made with fuckin. bacon and truffle oil but also alcohol somehow dkjfhdkgf I don't know#about me#my OCs#aubree#potions
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