#don't even get me started on how obvious it was that i had adhd but adults always acted like it was just me being willfully difficult

[gloombog]

thinking a lot recently about how being chronically ill as a child must have really fucked with me. i never really thought about it that much in the past but now it's like. i am rotating it in my mind and so on and so forth

[lis-likes-fics]

Dramatic

Pairing: Spencer Reid x adhd!bau!Reader Word Count: 2.9k words Warnings: Social anxiety, character with ADHD, crying, emotional hurt/comfort... A/N: I embarrassed myself a little bit and that day will haunt me forever. Enjoy!

Spencer slows as he comes up on your desk. He furrows his brows and looks around, noting your absence with a confused look on his face. Closing his book in his hand, he shifts it under his arm and turns to Emily opposite your empty seat.

Before he can even finish his inhale, she's already speaking. “Last time I saw her, she had to go print something out.”

“When was that?”

Emily looks away from the bright light of her screen in favor of checking her watch. “About fifteen minutes ago?” She shrugs, “I assume she got caught up with something.”

She spins around in her chair in a rather dramatic manner, turning to face JJ in the desk behind her. “You seen my desk buddy anywhere?”

“Printer.” She doesn't even look up.

“That's what I said.”

JJ hums a little. “She probably just got distracted.” She looks over her shoulder at Spencer for the first time, though not for long. “I'd check the printer.”

With a spark of genius, Emily's brows lift as she turns back to her screen. “If she's not there, she could be with Garcia.”

JJ just points her finger over at Emily and hums, still lounging back in her chair as her focus glares at whatever she's filling out at her computer.

“Thanks, guys.” Spencer sets his book down on your desk, turning on his heel to find the printing room where you have supposedly been hanging out for the past fifteen minutes.

He doesn't know what would keep you that long. You're not social enough to have gotten caught up talking, and your distractions are so easy as to keep you from returning to your desk (especially not when Emily is there to keep you company).

Plus, you hate the printing room. The printers are practically always running, and there's this weird clacking noise from one of the machines that unnerves you every time you have the misfortune of having to listen to it.

As he expects, you're not there. There's one guy standing in front of one of the printers, beating his hand on the side to get it to work. Other than that, however, you're nowhere to be found and Spencer is starting to worry.

Realistically, he knows that he shouldn't. You're in a building surrounded by FBI agents, and you're smart enough to know exactly how to tip someone off if you're in trouble. You're so smart, you'd realize there was danger long before it actually hit (because you pay too much attention to little details and sometimes forget about the more obvious things in front of you). He's lucky enough that any UnSub striking the FBI is likely too intelligent not to be meticulous.

But anyway, it doesn't matter because you're not in danger, and maybe you're just with Penelope or using the bathroom or (not in the break room, he already checked) or even–

Shoot.

“Hi.”

Penelope’s door was open, so he let himself in with a gentle knock on the door. Derek is there. He's leaning against one of her desks as she works. They're talking about something Spencer suspects to be too suggestive for his interest.

“Oh!” Penelope turns around in her seat with so much enthusiasm. She almost seems amazed as she looks upon him. “Spencer Reid, coming to visit me. Hello! How are you, my little knick knack?”

Derek chuckles, gesturing for him to join the two with a charming smile.

“I'm good,” he says. He asks about you.

Penelope’s brows join together as she shakes her head. “Oh, I don't know,” she answers matter-of-factly. “I have not seen her. Why? Is she okay?” Her worry creates a crease at her brows that deepens with every second that her question is unanswered.

“You lost your girl, pretty boy?” Derek gently nudges Spencer's shoulder.

“Not lost, just…” he shrugs, “misplaced.”

He hums. “She hasn't come by, no. Last time I saw her was early in the break room with you.”

Spencer scratches the back of his neck. Sorting through his mind about all the places you could be. If you left the building, you would've told someone, so you're definitely still here. You don't have any meetings either, so he's genuinely confused as to where you could possibly be hiding.

“I was hoping I'd find her here.”

Penelope raises a suggestive hand. “Well, I can look on the cameras, if you want.” She wheels around in her chair. She's already tapping away on her keyboard with a loud clickity-clack. “I'm sure we can find her somewhere in here.”

“When did you last see her?” Derek asks.

“I saw her at her desk twenty one minutes and thirty-seven seconds ago, but Emily said she went to the printing room about fifteen minutes ago.”

Penelope mutters to herself as she types in her perimeters. “Okay. Printers, fifteen minutes. And…” She clicks her tongue. “There she is!”

Spencer feels a wave of relief at seeing you standing by one of the machines. You're popping your knuckles, staring dutifully at the printer like you're determined to grab them and go.

“Okay, waiting on papers. Let's fast forward a bit, and then…” Penelope’s as fast as the cameras as she watches you leave the room with your stack clutched to your chest. Your gaze is following your feet, which are taking you down the halls and in the wrong direction of your desk.

When you turn into a room, all of them are a little confused. Derek most of all. “My office?” He turns to Spencer with a furrowed brow. “What's she doin’ in my office?”

“Cameras don't show her leaving. She should still be in there right now.” Penelope adjusts her glasses on her nose, turning back around.

“That’s odd,” he mumbles. “Thank you, Garcia.”

Spencer's already locked into his task when he turns around without another word. Derek calls him, interrupting his alertness.

“Whatever you do,” he tilts his head like he's warning him, his eyes narrowed playfully as he smirks, “keep it PG in my office, okay?”

Spencer almost blushes at the notion. Penelope smacks him square in his chest, looking up like he's scolding Derek for his behavior. But he only raises his hands high in surrender. “Hey! Mama, I'm just jokin’,” he laughs, his face split into one of his charming smiles. “I'm playin’!”

Spencer purses his lips in that dorky way that you always say you love. He excuses himself in favor of finding you. The path to Derek's office is an easy and familiar path. He ends up opening the door not long after.

He doesn't see you.

Spencer's eyes sweep the office once more and find Derek's chair further away from his desk than it's meant to be—that is, if he pushed it in properly to begin with.

With a gentle sigh, he takes slow, quiet steps to round the large desk. He kneels when he gets to the other side, feeling the worry dissolve and take another shape all within the same second.

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice is so soft, this quiet little whisper that doesn't stir you too much.

You have your arms wrapped around your knees, your face buried away within them. You don't move, and you don't seem to be crying, so at least that isn't an issue. Your voice is muffled by your arms.

“Hi.” You don't look up. “How’d you find me?” you mutter, still not moving from your position.

“Penelope.”

You sigh, finally lifting your head. “Penny.” He almost laughs at the way you say it, like you're accusing her of a crime.

“Can I join you?” he asks gently.

You nod without a word. Spencer moves to sit across from you. He's so long, it takes quite a bit of maneuvering to fit himself into the small space. He's slouched over like some real life origami. His legs have no choice but to reach all the way over into your space and box you in with him. You don't mind much.

He lets you both sit in silence for a while. You seem to really need it. He doesn't decide to speak until you finally look at his face, your eyes flitting across it like you're trying to find something.

“What's wrong?”

You shake your head, looking away again. It breaks his heart to watch the way you huddle into yourself. “It's stupid.”

“It's not stupid,” he protests kindly. He reaches a hand out to cradle the back of your leg. His hand is warm, it feels good even through the fabric of your slacks. “Not if it's making you feel like this.”

You don't respond. Spencer's mouth twitches to the side. He taps your leg lightly. “What happened?”

You sigh, taking a moment before you lift your head to see him again. There's a tiny crease in his brows. His eyes are narrowed just a bit. He's genuinely concerned, and it makes you feel bad because the reason you're upset is so…trivial.

“We deal with death every day, and most of the time, I come out of it okay,” you say under your breath, shaking your head at yourself, “but this is what gets me.”

“What's ‘this’?” he presses gently.

You lick your bottom lip and speak slowly. “I went to print some papers, and this lady walked up and waved at me, so I waved back at her and…”

He thinks he knows where this is going. “Yeah?”

There’s an element of self-depreciation when you respond, and your words from earlier echo sadly in his head at the thought that you might be hearing it, too—it’s stupid. “Well, it turns out, she’s not even waving at me. She’s waving to this other lady standing next to me.” You shake your head, looking down as if to remember something. “And she kinda, like…gave me this look.”

“Was it a mean one?” He hopes not. He loves you too much for someone to be giving you mean looks. He wants you to feel safe and happy, and you don’t.

You shake your head. “No, she looked…maybe a little confused or even, like…apologetic, but it was a look.” He watches you bury your head again, hiding away in your embarrassment. “I should not be hiding because of a look.”

Spencer sets a reassuring hand on your knee. “You don’t have to feel embarrassed about something like that.”

When you lift your head again, he can see tears you’d tried so hard to keep back shining in your eyes. His heartstrings tug behind his ribcage. He thinks you’re gonna kill him one day. “I know!” you sniffle, refusing to let any of your tears spill. “I know, but I do, and it’s ridiculous.”

“But…” he says, like he isn’t finished, “it’s also perfectly okay to be embarrassed about something like that.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes and looking to the side again. “Please.” A tear spills over, and you catch it quickly. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth and bite down hard. He’s worried you’ll draw blood. “I overreact or underreact to literally everything. When are my feelings ever reasonable?”

He would scoot closer if his body structure allowed it, but, alas, he is too long. “All the time. They never stop being reasonable,” he reassures. He sighs gently, wanting so badly to make sure you know how much he adores you. “Can I hold your hand?”

You look back at him, swallowing thickly as you slowly raise your hand for him to take. It means a lot, actually, that he wants to hold your hand. Too many germs. Your chest feels warm with your adoration of him. He gives you a smile, and you almost hide for a different reason.

Holding his eye contact is so hard sometimes. He has such pretty eyes, it’s a shame how hard it is to look at them when you get like this. You want to kiss him, to let him know.

Instead, you just squeeze his hand. “She probably already forgot it happened.” You chew on your bottom lip. “And I’ve been hiding under Derek’s desk for the past, like, ten minutes because I can’t forget about it.”

Spencer doesn’t want to tell you that it’s been twelve minutes and sixteen seconds. You hide your face once again more, dramatically this time. “This will haunt me forever.”

His lip quirks but he tries not to smile too much. “Hey.”

“I know. It’s childish.”

“That isn’t what I was going to say,” he smiles. He ducks his head in the hopes of catching your eyes, but he waits for you to look up first. “You know what I’m going to say?”

You do look at him. He’s so sweet, now you can’t look away. “What?”

He leans forward, feeling his back spine stretching as he does. His large hand sets against your cheek, and you lean into the warmth. He gives you a smile that you call charming, though he probably wouldn’t agree. “I love you.”

You can’t help it. The way he makes you feel is reminiscent of a teenager who just shared eye contact with her crush. He wipes your cheek gently with the pad of his thumb, clearing away any water left behind by the few tears that had escaped your clutches. “Stop,” you giggle, turning away.

He guides your face back. His grin is this huge, mushy thing on his face that squints his eyes until his lashes kiss. “Never,” he mutters affectionately. He loves to see you smile. “I love you. Especially when you care a little too much about an accidental wave.”

You catch him in his words, raising your brows accusingly. He’s helping your anxiety tremendously, and you probably won’t realize it until you’ve fully recovered. “So you agree that this is stupid?”

He laughs, shaking his head quickly. His voice, not as soft anymore, is filled to the brim with his happiness “That’s not what I said. I’m saying that I love you because you’re so amazing, and I want you to know it.” He traces the underside of your eyelashes, reluctantly slipping his hand off your cheek. “No matter how many times you wave at someone who isn’t actually waving at you.”

You’re still giggly. “Spencer.” You shift your legs, not without difficulty, to sit in a criss-cross position. Spencer mimics you (with even more difficulty than you). He has to bend down a little so he’ll fit.

“It’s the truth.”

“Well…” you try to dull your giggles to a simmering bubbly feeling in your chest, “I love you, too. Even when I think you’re crazy for loving me…” You think about that for a moment. “Especially when I think you’re crazy for loving me.”

Spencer holds your cheek again and pulls you in for a kiss. You savor this one, your noses brushing affectionately as you do. Spencer doesn’t kiss you at work.

“Will you come back to your desk with me?” he whispers, his lips brushing yours.

You nod gently. “Yeah.”

Spencer smiles, pecking your cheek. He lets go of you to untuck himself from under the desk. He has to stretch his body out before he offers his hand for you. You take it, hoisting yourself up to stand next to him. “Those are mine.” You gesture toward the papers on Derek’s desk as you brush off your pants.

He doesn’t wait for you, he just scoops them into his hands. “I’ve got them.”

“Thanks,” you grin. He sneaks one more kiss, this one to your temple.

You look up at him and hold your arms open, a quiet request. Spencer’s happy to answer your request, wrapping his arms around you in a hug that pulls you closer to him than you feel like you’ve ever been. He takes in a deep breath, closing his eyes and sighing longingly.

When you pull away, you walk with him. His hand hangs down by his side, and you glance at it as you brush your pinky with his. He smiles, but he doesn’t look over at you.

It’s been hardly ten seconds since you left the office, and your phone is ringing. You furrow your brow, fishing it from your pocket and glancing down at the screen. You sigh gently, silently appreciating her because she means so much.

You put her on speaker. “Penny?”

“Are you okay, sweet girl?” she asks immediately, her voice full of worry. You glance at Spencer, who still doesn’t turn to you. He’s smiling, though, so you know that he knows you’re watching him.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“You’re sure?” she asks. “I can go to you. I’ll bring the squishy that you like!”

Your voice fades into a laugh. “I’m okay, Pen, really.”

“Did my desk help?”

The way Derek’s voice sounds when he speaks up makes you flush a little. You keep your voice level, still looking up to stare at Spencer. You trust him not to let you run into anything as he suppresses his smile with the thin line of his lips. “Yes, Morgan, it was very nice.” You raise a brow. “Am I going to hear Prentiss next?”

He laughs. “Just li’l ole me.”

“And me. I’m still here.” Penelope makes you laugh.

“Goodbye, both of you.”

“Bye, honey bun.” “Bye!” You hang up on them.

Spencer’s warmth seeps into your side. You resist the urge to lay your head on his shoulder because you’re supposed to be professional at work. Instead, you sigh and let your pinkies brush. “I love our friends.”

Spencer smiles. “Me, too.”

Criminal Minds taglist: @queermaxwooo @mdanon027 @lilianhallee @hpstuff244444 @thegr8estpuff @niktwazny303 @bubbles2300 @hiireadstuff @chloelmao67 @feyresqueen @hbwrelic @princess76179 @hc-geralt-23 Dr. Reid taglist: @swwanlake Tag yourself here...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I told my partner to stop bringing up the fact that they're undiagnosed

Submitted: 19/04/2024

(💑♾️)

I've (18FtM) been with my partner Brit (17F) for 3 years now, we met in high school and have since graduated. In that time, I've worked with multiple professional to seek therapy and diagnosis for my multiple conditions, two of them being ADHD (combination) and Autism. Brit along with my childhood best friend were actually the first people to suggest I could be Autistic and should look into evaluation for both, not just ADHD, which I had been suspecting for a while. Obviously I was excited about my diagnosis because I am finally recognised and am able to get accommodations, talk about it outside my immediate circle of friends and accept myself without doubt that I have this.

Immediately after my diagnosis, I started to talk to Brit about how amazing it feels. And how excited I am to be able to have an explanation for a lot of my issues both growing up and currently, accommodations and other things too. Brit suspects they are likely autistic too and used to think they had ADHD before being evaluated, and it returned with a negative result. I still think they feel annoyed about, since they constantly bring up the fact that they don't think the evaluation was accurate because they lied during it to make their symptoms seem less obvious out of fear of the diagnosis at the time. They've tried to ask their mom to be evaluated for Autism, but their mum refuses to, as she has multiple reasons to not believe that they do and refuses to think anything could be wrong with her child. Brit doesn't have enough money on their own to get an evaluation (Mine cost a couple of thousands, and that was on the cheaper end). I have been talking to Brit about my diagnosis for a few days and how happy I am and every time I talk about it, they constantly bring up how lucky I am and that I don't need to brag and saying “I wonder how that feels”. At first, I tried to understand what they are going through because I get what it's like to suspect you have something but not have the resources or the doctors that can properly evaluate you, but after the 5 or 6th time it feels very degrading, invalidating and demeaning. I don't understand why they can't just be happy for me as their partner and not let it reflect on them. I've been thinking about just telling them to shut up the next time they bring it up as it's really getting on my nerves, I feel that I have the right to be happy about the diagnosis and not have to worry about upsetting my partner for whatever personal battles they have going on with them. Furthermore, I do listen to them and comfort them when they're upset about their own experience, but it feels like they're making my own experience into their own. I've been thinking of texting them that being undiagnosed doesn't mean they can invalidate my experience and that it isn't all about them, that they can just be happy for me and that it feels like shit to be happy about something that someone else is so negative about even though it has nothing to do with me. So, WIBTA if I told my partner to be quiet about not being diagnosed

[minxiiwrites]

Wouldn't it be funny if Yoru, a grumpy, angry, gtfo of my face typa guy, literally dating an ADHD s/o...haha.....so funny....(not self indulgent slash es ar es)

PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!

: Yoru(Valorant) x gn!reader 💮 Fluff, Headcanons

: Yoru who has an s/o that had ADHD and is super hyper

: Light swearing if you squint

Opposites attract cliche (barf /j)

If Yoru is crushing on you then it's super obvious because he plays favorites

You can barge into his room, wake him up at 3 am because you wanted to eat his noodles and he'd just sigh, call you stupid, and get out of his bed to get you noodles as you jump around in giddiness

Yet whenever Jett teases him about his not so hidden crush for you, he gives her the most nastiest glare that screams bloody murder

"You're lucky we're on the same team, otherwise you'd be dead."

Yk I don't even know how yall got dating but oh well it happened and Yoru is kinda loving it (he won't admit it and call you stupid though)

Whenever you have any sort of hyperfixation on anything he'd definitely sit quiet and listen

He has that face where it seems that he's just trying your words pass through the other ear which kinda made you insecure and just stop talking so that you wouldn't be a bother

but in reality, he's just socially awkward since he's not used to talking a lot and is actually listening to every word you say. He just doesn't know how to act

"I was about to check my phone for new messages from Brim but found this TikTok that made the most cutest cat crochet plush and then I saw this huge bee plush so I maybe wanna try crochet one day and.."

".."

"..."

"...and? When are you gonna start crocheting?"

"!!! Oh my gosh okay so—!"

He can find himself smiling just by observing your random antics and silly actions but immediately cuts himself off cause he's in public (and Jett's teasing exists)

Probably has a specific drawer in his room that has all of the random stuff you give him

A rock you found on the street which you drew a :P face on it. A small yellow balloon filled with water that can be used as a stress ball. A shiny candy wrapper you randomly found in your pocket yesterday. And yes, you named all of them.

He's always >:( and you're always >:)

One time the both of you were on the same mission which required you to go to Japan and once you got there you immediately started running around staring at everything you found pretty

And he's just walking, trailing behind you from a close distance, sighing an amused smile

His way of speaking is also different between you and literally everyone else

He's more chill, quiet when he's with you since he likes it more when you initiate the conversations (and he likes your voice AYIE)

And when he does talk, it's mostly joking and teasing you for literally anything

Compared to others though, he's super snarky and has a cocky attitude. A huge difference to his more soft approach with you

Phoenix calls this out once which made Yoru roll his eyes, called him a dumbass, flipped him off, and walked off like nothing happened all while looking like a grumpy cat

He loves it when you fight back with his teasing

When you playfully roll your eyes at his jab and retort back with your own tease makes his heart beat hard at the fact that you're willing to play along with him

Definitely is smug and smirking all the way whenever you talk back with your own playful grin

He seems like a bitter food liker, probably downs black coffee and plain solid matcha like it's the most normal thing ever

Or maybe he has a hidden sweet tooth :/

Some times whenever you forget to eat because of hyperfixation, he drags you by the ear and forces you to eat </3

Even though you insist you aren't hungry he'll still call you a dumbass and force food down you're throat

When you walk into a room and suddenly forget what the hell you were doing in the first place, he always manages to understand your mannerisms to remind you what your objective was

It's cause he stares at you a lot hehehe

This was like...two years ago idfk why I didn't post it LMAO

[theweirdwideweb]

Apologies in advance if this comes off as rude- I just can't figure out how to word it right.

What is the point of getting diagnosed with ADHD or anything similar as an adult? How did it help you?

I strongly believe that I have either ADHD, autism, OCD or some combination of them. (Or possibly even something else I haven't considered. The one thing I'm certain of is that something is Off with me) But I feel like it's too late, since I really needed to be diagnosed as a child and have specialized assistance to help with my schoolwork and train me in coping mechanisms to help with my adult life.

But now I feel like it's too late to do anything because I've already spent my entire life unconsciously masking and having to do 5x the work just to appear "normal" and I believe it's too late to unlearn these things that have been hardwired into my personality my entire life. The one place that would've been beneficial to have a diagnosis is school, but I'm out of school and I don't plan on going back.

You would think work would be the one place that having a diagnosis would actually help, but the management at my job is very toxic and I feel like they would take advantage of my new diagnosis. Even though that is not legal, I fully believe management would find a way to fuck with me or take advantage of me without making it obvious.

There is a small part of me that would like to be diagnosed just to have the satisfaction of being like "holy shit I KNEW there was something wrong with me" but that satisfaction would last like 10 seconds and then wtf do I do?

(I don't know why I was never diagnosed as a child. My mom has several stories that clearly illustrate classic neurodivergent symptoms and regularly nags at me for being "difficult" for never showing emotions, having aversion to too many textures, not picking up on social cues, being too agitated by unwanted noises yet never put 2 and 2 together)

A couple thoughts: I was diagnosed at 34, but had no clue until that point. A diagnosis helped me understand many things about myself, both past and present. As a kid I was constantly humiliated for my symptoms by parents and peers. Now I can look back and know I was doing my best, even though I was diagnosed "lazy" and "bad" and "ungrateful" by my parents. I'd chalked my school difficulties, social problems, and uncoordinated body up to a moral failing. Now I understand so much more.

On the more practical side I started taking stimulant medication. Everything got easier. In therapy I started to understand what's my CPTSD and what's neurodivergence (and what's both!). I have gained tremendous self understanding. It helps me navigate the world with less discomfort.

I've also been going to group and individual DBT therapy for the past 7 months. So much of DBT is aimed at trauma survivors and neurodivergent people. It helps bring your awareness to unhelpful thought patterns and gives you practical tips on how to snap out of an obsessive thought or sensory overload state.

tl;dr Medical help is available to you in many forms once you receive a diagnosis. I'd much rather know. It's shaped my understanding of myself both past and present. I've never regretted getting tested. As a matter of fact tomorrow I have my 1st round of Bipolar testing. Know thyself!

[musingsofanaroace]

Random Thoughts on Representation

In the post, I will cover my experiences with ethnic, AroAce, non-binary, and AuDHD representation.

I've heard young YouTubers say that they don't like "labels", and that people make too much of a deal over representation. They've grown up with it and don't realize how much it means to those who've only had it recently.

I grew up in the nineties and didn't see myself represented in the media. These people were "white" and "straight" and "cis" and "neurotypical". I didn't even have access to the words that would describe my experiences; therefore, I had to create my own. Or if I did know the words, I didn't know if they pertained to me.

Let's start with ethnicity. I'm white and hispanic. The only hispanic characters I remember was Anita in West Side Story and Desi Arnaz from I Love Lucy. Desi was portrayed as a hot-headed Latino and the butt of the joke. Anita was portrayed as a spicy Latina with a fiery personality.

They acted nothing like my padre's family and seemed a caricature of real people. Also, I didn't see myself in them in the slightest. They didn't represent my multi-ethnic experience.

Note: I know that My So-Called Life has a hispanic character Ricky Vazquez, but I didn't watch this show until I was in my mid thirties.

I related more to Ariel, Aladdin, Pocahontas, and Belle even though their ethnicity and nationality differed from my own. They didn't fit in, and that's how I felt.

Let's move on to AroAce representation. Until I had access to the internet in uni, I never heard this term. Instead, I created my own: nonromantic and nonsexual. And in the media, there was no representation. And no, Spock doesn't count!

The first AroAce representation I had was Georgia Warr in Loveless, and I was thirty-six! And I was quite excited when Heartstopper included an AroAce character: Isaac Henderson. Now, I know it's not the best representation, but you have to start somewhere.

Now, let's tackle trans representation. The only trans representation I had in high school was Boys Don't Cry, and it traumatized me. I only watched it once, but I've never forgotten it.

Also, I only thought trans referred to the binary: man or woman. I didn't know that terms such as non-binary and agender existed until I stumbled across the words in a psychology journal at my university's library. Up to that point, I had just used my own term: nongender.

Now, there's more trans representation. It's not perfect and doesn't yet include everyone, but it's getting there. I have hope for a brighter trans-inclusive future. One that includes more non-binary and agender characters.

Lastly, let's move unto AuDHD representation. Growing up, I wasn't diagnosed with either, but looking back, it was obvious that I had both. But the only autism representation I had was Rain Man, and the only ADHD representation I had was Bart Simpson. And I didn't act like either one of them.

If there was more accurate representation back then, I would've gotten diagnosed sooner than I did. (I was thirty-nine.) And with this diagnosis, I could've gotten the accommodations I so desperately needed in school and the various jobs I've had over the years.

Some days, I would come home from school or work and have a total breakdown. I would shut myself in my room, blast some angry music, and hide under a blanket. I now recognize this as a shutdown.

Some days, I would come home and couldn't handle a simple request from my parents or roommate. I would snap at them or dissolve into a blubbering mess. And many times, it escalated into a full-blown meltdown.

And that's probably why I only have a single, solitary friend. If I had the words back then, maybe my parents or roommates would've understood what I was going through. Understood that I wasn't mad at them or acting this way on purpose. They would've known that I was simply autistic and having a meltdown.

As of 2024, there are some good autism and ADHD representation out there, but not as many as there should be. Too many of the characters still fit a stereotype of autism or ADHD that represents only a small fraction of the community. So many different flavors of autism and ADHD have been overlooked by writers, producers, and studio executives. I can't wait for the day when I read or see a fictional AuDHD character and think, "Hey, that's me!"

This year, I heard an album that I wish I had in high school. It's so relatable and would've helped me out so much. Growing Up on the Internet by Noahfinnce. I'm so glad teenagers have such a powerful and inspirational musician to represent them.

Well, that's all I have for today. Until next time, take care and stay curious.

[changbinsboobs]

Кто в SKZ является нейроотличным и к какому «типу» он относится

PLEASE THIS SUB-CLAUSE I BEG🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😔😔😔

Who in Skz is neurodivergent and what type are they?

Omg i just wann crawl into a hole and rot😭 i wrote SOOOOOOO much in this post. Sooooooo much!!!!!!!! And i went out of the app for a sec to check something and when i came back it was ALL gone😭 now i don't even wanna do it anymore😤 but still i have already committed so i guess im just gonna do it in a different format where i just give my quick opinion and then in a different post some other time explain in detail. I swear im so angry I've had this in my drafts for so long and everytime i start it somethmg happens and i camt fi ish it😭

*Also, put short, im not a professional nor a psychology major. This post is not based on tarot - all of it is based on my personal observations, experiences, opinions and the energy I've picked up from them from previous readings. Take it all with a grain of salt and remember i don't know the idols personally and i do not state facts. This is just a lighthearted post based on my opinion.

Chan - ADHD, OCD

He has mentioned the ocd himself while talking about red lights. He said tho that he thinks its not really ocd but something of that sort. In my experience ocd is heavily influenced by the level of dysregulation in your nervous system so if you're well regulated, even during stressful times, the ocd doesn't show as strongly as to be pathological. Once ur dysregulated tho it is definitely there and it depends on you how bad you let it get. So i for sure think he has it, its just not as intense for him to be diagnosed, which speaks good for him actually cuz i never thought someone under so much stress could keep himself so regulated, especially taking in mind his sleep and eating routine.

As for the adhd its just pretty obvious i think. Tho i believe he medicates it, espc since seungmin once mentioned something about chan having forgotten to take his meds today hence why he's all over the place.

Lee Know - On the spectrum

I did a long, long, detailed paragraph on autism and at the end described why i think lee know falls under it, but im so angry i don't wanna do it all over again right now. If you're interested on more details u can send a request and whenever i feel like it I'll do a post like that.

Changbin - On the spectrum

Same here, i just started to describe why i think he falls under the spectrum and then everything got deleted😭. Changbis paragraph is different tho. Why i think he's on the spectrum is because of his genius-like abilities in many if not all fields. He gives me wunderkind vibes. And i habe also picked up on him being the goat when he was a kid, but as he grows up the abilities and sureness he once had as a kid isn't there anymore or way less. Yk the autistic "trope" of being the wunderkind and them growing up into the burned out adult with so much lost potential. He give's me a bit of that vibe. He's also extremely sensitive and intuitive and has incredible attention to detail and patterns. He has such a unique sense for music and creation - in his field of music and rap he really is a genius. He calls himself a prodigy when little and i actually believe that (even if the members dont🥲😂) and even if he's very well liked by lots of people because of his great qualities as a human, he seems ufjfjf idk how to describe it. Like he's not integrated in with them (im talking about the group) but he's watching from outside. He's always the but of the joke, he's always the rejected one, he's always somehow different than them and doesn't quite fit in the group. In the sense that it feels like he doesn't get fully and completely accepted in a large group setting. I think he does grate one on one or in small 3 people groups, but once theres a small society - he's the left one out. I have so much more to say about all of this but once again - i think I'll leave it for another post when i get the inspiration for it.

Hyunjin - /

Han - Autistic for sure!

Yeah there's lots to unpack here to, cuz i habe so much "evidence" i think I'll actually might even do it on twitter as a thread cuz id like to include clips and stuff to be able to really analyse it, and here i cant really do that so - yeah look forward to it:)

Felix - ?

i have no fck idea to be honest. Maybe cptsd? But he also gives me vibes of dyslexia or something of that sort. Im not too familiar with it, so i can't say for sure but i have noticed he has speaking and learning problems so if you know any better than me please give suggestions. Cuz ain no way he's neurotypical. Also by speaking problems i mean I've noticed a difficulty in him of forming a coherent sentence or he just talks but its all nonsense.

Seungmin - /

I.N - /

[honorarypines]

Losers Club x PJO AU thoughts part 1

since we have seven members of the Losers Club and seven main demigods in heroes of Olympus, I decided to make an au!!

Beverly Marsh -> daughter of Aphrodite, since she's super pretty and into fashion. She grew up with her human dad, and he was just as terrible as in the canon. The only explanation as to how he managed to pull a goddess, I think his agressiveness reminded her of Ares. Due to her good looks Bev was often sexualized and slut shamed by her classmates, before she got to the camp. She lowkey hates her godly parent. In the camp she tries her best to not stand out in any way, maybe aside from upgrading her camp outfit with some cool handmade accessories. She has the power of charmspeak, her weapon of choice is either a sling like in the books or a spear like in the movies, it's yet to be decided.

Richie Tozier -> son of Dionysus, for obvious reasons. Even the actor that plays mr D in the show looks like some dystopian bad future version of Rich where he didn't end up famous of something. Richie grew up with his mom, who was very sweet and protective of her son. He had really hard time in school due to his hardcore adhd and dyslexia. Most of his teacher never gave him a chance, bc they already labeled him as the troublemaker kid. Mrs Tozier sent Rich to camp out of free will, no unhappy tragic accidents here. When he got to the camp he quickly got along with most of the Hermes kids, and at one point got claimed by Mr D. Though Richie claims he's such a tough bad boy, he's actually a sweet kid and he really just wants his newfound father's attention and validation.

Bill Denbrough -> unclaimed. In the canon his parents got really neglectful after death of their younger child, and I think Bill being the only unclaimed in the group could somehow tackle him feeling ignored and not cared about. Also, only unclaimed in the group screams main character energy to me, and what is Billy if not a main character energy lol. Before he got to chb he met a younger demigod, Georgie (son of Posaidon bc of his love for boats perhaps). Before they managed to get to the camp Georgie died which left Bill completely devastated. His first friend is Eddie, they met in the Hermes cabin.

Eddie Kaspbrak -> son of Hermes, as he loves means of transportation and essentially is the losers' guide during their adventures (thx again for the help @asexualasshat!) When growing up, Eddie really struggled with his adhd and dyslexia, mostly because his mother would call him out for it all the time. For her it was yet another sickness of his, and since she couldn't heal it really, she treated Eddie like he was broken. She died in a monster attack before Eddie went to chb, otherwise I don't think he would ever get the chance to get to the camp. Since her death happened before Eddie could ever stand up to her, or at least realize she's in the wrong, Eds started putting her on a pedestal after she died. (He has yet to learn a lot among his friends!) During his first months in the camp, Eddie resented his brothers and sisters for their mischievous nature and love for pranks. He also hated suddenly living with so many people. He met Richie through his siblings, as Richie was friends with many of them. They didn't really get along at first lol. Bill is his first true friend. Eds' power is unusual sense of direction.

Mike Hanlon -> at first I wanted to make him a Demeter kid bc he lives on a farm, but I think I'm going with Hephaestus and let me explain why. In the movie canon his house burned down with his parents still inside, making Mike an orphan. Wouldn't it be just so angsty if Mike had fire powers, similarly to Leo Valdez from HoO? Brilliant angst potential. Let him find out the death of his parents had been his fault all along. Or maybe it's never been the case, maybe it's just what he's told by some villain? Also he's pretty smart and very hardworking, which are very Hephaestus kid traits. I think his grandpa could actually tell him about his demigod origins, since he was the only adult in IT canon that suspected something was Wrong with the town and shared it with his grandkid.

Ben Hanscom -> son of Athena obviously. Also, since in the canon we only meet his mom, in this au he now has two moms yay! His human mum was kinda toxic tho, basically she was a toned down version of Sonia Kaspbrak, just like in the book canon. Ben is a great architect and a major nerd. He quickly befriends Stanley, it's his first friend. Has even less hope for romancing Bev than in IT canon, as she's one of the Aphrodite kids, aka hottest people at the camp known for being heartbreakers. Bev adores the fact that he never sexualizes her and actually admires her other qualities, it draws her closer to him. Though he usually appeares sweet and calm, he can be a very fierce warrior if one of his friends is in danger.

Stanley Uris -> another not so obvious one. For now I'm going with Athena, bc of his intelligence and love for birds (here owls specifically). I want him to be able to communicate with owls, I know Athena kids usually do not display any powers, but I want to give Stan some cool abilities. I think it would be intersting to explore how finding out about greek gods affected his faith. I'm giving him an identity crisis over this yay. His dad definitely kept chb secret from him, as he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps and lead a normal life as rabbi. Stan is a great strategist, not so great on the battlefield, hates violence in any form. Ben is his favourite sibling. He's the Common Sense source in the group.

[shrimpathizer]

this is just a theory (i haven't looked into this bit that much) but I feel like the reason that misinformation is so wildly rampant in online communities about ADHD (probably also autism) is in part because of how inaccessible actual professional information about it is.

Like, I remember before I got my diagnosis (what started off this whole thing a while back), I was looking at the CDC website description of symptoms of ADHD with my mom and. If you thought you were neurodivergent and were looking at this thing trying to see if you should get tested, its basically saying "screw you. you're either a child who is going to be here because of their parents, or an adult who is also here because of another neurotypical."

one of the criteria was literally "is often 'on the go' acting as if 'driven by a motor.'" that means absolutely nothing. you are using undefined expressions to explain something to someone who historically is not good at understanding unexplained social norms (such as expressions).

plus, its incredibly subjective. "on the go" could mean something wildly different for one person then the next. and "often" could mean "all the time every day" or "only at school" or even "every other week." not to mention the memory issues that at least a lot of the people who I know with ADHD struggle with.

someone who might have ADHD has no way of knowing if they "often have trouble organizing tasks and activities" or if that is a normal amount. there is no way for them to easily know if they "often do not seem to listen when spoken to directly."

so it seems obvious to me, that they would turn to other people with ADHD. and the easiest place to find them these days is online. thats how I started wondering if I should get diagnosed. they're probably trying to find some other way to understand or know. and since its social media and social media is rampant with misinformation, of course they are going to be fed misinformation.

people are going to tell them "you see this weird thing that you do? I do that too. and its actually because of this much larger thing. trust me." and people will. because there really isn't much of another place for them to turn. they are going to self-diagnose with every disorder under the sun to make themselves feel at home and feel like they aren't weird or wrong.

maybe i'm way off here but I think that if you want people (teens in particular) to stop turning to social media for comfort and information, you should give them other resources that are accessible. that they don't have to pay to see, that they can understand clearly, that acknowledges all the weird things that they feel bad about.

and sort of as a side note: i remember in elementary school, early on (this might have just been my school/city/state), the school set up one of those mobile classrooms on the yard and would pull kids out for like a good couple months to do eye exams. because we've normalized that kids also have eye problems and thats normal. and maybe, could we also get a small little assessment. just to see if we can find neurodivergent kids early on and get them help so that they don't suffer for years and years.

and i'm not talking as someone who has had it hard. i have had it so easy compared to so many others. i have supportive parents and get good grades, and yet, i am constantly burnt out. i constantly feel horrible. not just because of depression. maybe i'm being too radical here but i feel like i shouldn't need a 504 plan to say that if i'm having a panic attack i can leave the room. that if i'm having trouble focusing i can go to the library or somewhere else. that i can get extensions on due dates. that i can see a copy of the notes or lesson for reference. i don't know maybe i'm just incredibly radical that i think people shouldn't have to be expected to work four times as hard to get anything done and then get blamed when they don't live up to the expectation. whether or not they are neurodivergent.

[adhd-creativity]

ADHD and Gender

I've just thought about how possibly gender doesn't necessarily inherently change the way ADHD affects us (for example, articles stating that adhd makes men more hyperactive than women). But society and how we've been socialised from infants to align with our assigned gender most definitely does.

Example- my male colleague, I'll call him Ben, has combined type adhd just like me (innatentive and hyperactive). It's a lot more 'obvious' with him- he talks loudly about his interests, bounces around the room, and today he's left the staffroom distracted by something work-related. He's left a used mug, glass, and a dirty tuppaware out on the shared table.

My other colleagues complain about Ben to me- they feel safe doing this as I pass so easily as 'normal'. They call him inconsiderate and someone calls him gross. And I think privately to myself, I would so easily have done that too, but I'm too hyper-aware of the shame, the gossiping of everyone around me.

I also know- in a public space you can't leave your used things out on the table. Even if it's really hard to keep track of and not do accidentally. I know I am expected to be tidy (especially in public) and consider everyone around me at all times, even if it negatively affects me.

They don't know about when I hid a growing pile of used mugs and plates in my little office space until people started complaining things were missing, how I complained with them (lol). They don't know that I stayed super late one shift and filled a bag with the mugs and plates and sneaked them into the kitchen to wash, clanking guiltily as I went, having to soak and scrub them for more than an hour.

I don't know Ben's personal history, but maybe he grew up not being told to constantly keep on top of his own mess and chores. Maybe that's women's work. Or maybe he had a modern thinking family who encouraged him to take up the space he needed (not shrink yourself down, make room for boys that need that space) and to not care what others thought of him. Maybe they were annoyed by him leaving cups and plates and making a mess, but Ben's a boy, and boys are allowed to be messy.

Maybe Ben has been enouraged to speak loudly and proudly about his interests all his life, so now he tells people about them. Maybe he's never been told to be quiet, to not think so highly of himself, to let others talk first.

I don't know Ben- I just know that he's had a very different experience of the world than I have, even if we both do share ADHD.

And because he's maybe had the chance to be who he is, loud and chatty and chaotic, without society telling him to be quiet, smaller, neater - maybe thats why people like Ben get diagnosed when they are 8 years old. Maybe that's why I didn't get diagnosed until 30- after years of pushing and having to fight my case.

What do people think? I'd love to hear some other perspectives on this

(Disclaimer- this is not meant to be gender essentialist or man-hating. I think gender is a construct and although I've been socialised as a woman, I am non-binary. Also I am not a health care professional these are just my thoughts lol )

[tippenfunkaport]

Momaport and I watched more She-Ra. We have now watched up through Princess Prom.

Some highlights and lowlights (because she didn't like these episodes as much as the last ones we watched)...

"Catra puts on a cocky attitude but she's just a scared kid." So true.

"Why does Castaspella have Goofy ears?" Truly a thing I ask myself constantly.

She has become a walking cliche because she can never remember Glimmer's name and calls her something different every time. She spent her entire discussion of Princess Prom calling her "Crystal" which pains me deeply.

She also keeps forgetting Mermista and calls her "fish one" which is just really funny.

Because of her complete inability to remember anyone's name ever, the whole Light Spinner is Shadow Weaver reveal was a legitimate plot twist to her which amused me.

She is a Glimbow truther, was on ship team day one even without my influence despite not liking Glimmer and not knowing what "shipping" meant, mostly because she loves Bow. I was given a passionate speech about how obvious it was that Glimmer and Bow love each other and only you, Tumblr, can appreciate the irony of someone else giving ME that speech and not the other way around. I mentioned that a lot of people claim they "came out of nowhere" and she was absolutely indignant and refused to believe that was a thing.

Relatedly, she doesn't believe Bow had a crush on Sea Hawk, she said he was "just fangirling." (She knows he's bi, that's just her read on that episode.)

Long impassioned speech about what a horrific childhood Catra and Adora had and how it's no wonder Adora is a stressed disaster.

She started talking about Princess Prom totally on Bow's side and mad at Glimmer and by the end of her speech somehow talked herself onto Glimmer's (oh, excuse me "Crystal's") side and was annoyed at Bow which was just funny to witness happen in real time.

"Entrapta reminds me of that one character... you know? The science lady? With the glasses?" I never found out what she meant by this. For all I know it means Entrapta reminds my mom of Entrapta.

"I don't understand why people these days are so obsessed with shipping, Why can't you just watch the show and enjoy the nice friendships?" (Mom is judging us)

She likes Catra and Adora a lot individually, but there is some naysaying about them becoming a couple, we'll see if she comes around. (She has never watched before, but knows most of the endgame ships just bc of hearing the kids and I talk about it.)

She's mad at me for showing it to her grandkids, because it's too violent and she doesn't approve. (I've been cancelled.)

*me explaining that Entrapta is autistic and people read Adora as ADHD* "Does everyone have to be something these days?" (alas, mom is still a cranky old person who wants us to get off her lawn but honestly she's far less cantankerous than I thought she might be about this show so I'll let it slide)

After Princess Prom, she said, "It's cute but I don't understand why you're all so obsessed with it. To me it's exactly like every other cartoon I've ever watched." which is an ARROW directly to my HEART but we'll see if she comes around once the plot really gets going. She generally doesn't like animation and is a straight boomer lady so I figured we'd have an uphill climb but STILL. Pain. We're going to keep watching it either way though because she said she likes hanging out with me and we're having fun. (I am a delight)

[shrimplymoray]

Umm not sure if your taking requests but could I get a Jason the toy maker x adhd reader. I just found out I have adhd and I kinda want a comfort headcannon for it. Sorry if your not taking requests have a good day. DRINK WATER.

You don't have any idea how happy I am for having a Jason request, he is literally my fave pasta and probably the reason I'm still so active with creepypasta lol.

On another note, I know how you are feeling. A diagnose, be it a new one or the first one, is always a bit scary, but I assure you your life will only get better from now, OP!

Now onto out favorite Toymaker, shall we?

Jason the Toymaker x ADHD Reader

Jason, with most people, is a meanie. But when it comes to you? Oh dear he is the sweetest, most sappy and even suffocating at times lover you could have.

He is also very overprotective of you. So when you got your diagnose, his head started thinking in a 101 things that ADHD could mean. He genuinely had no clue, he is not used with psychiatry as he is with psychology (for his reasons) so he was a bit confused.

Though after knowing that 1) you are not going to die from it and 2) what it actually is, he is quick to do anything at his reach and maybe even over it for you.

Oh you have a hiperfixation on a specific topic? He is buying and making you plushies and dolls of it.

You are on a very hyper day and is having trouble with forming a coherent line of thought on a conversation? Oh he can talk for you, no problem.

It will, at first, seem like he is babying you and pampering you too much, and if you don't mind that, he will continue with it.

But if it does bother you, he will notice. He notices every little change, sometimes even ones you yourself don't, and he will instantly go on a spiral of what is making you be bothered.

He is not afraid of changing his entire way of being just for you, he did it for people worth way less than you, so of course he would only do his best to Hsi favorite doll!

Jason has a tendency of misunderstanding and going on spirals in his head with what he thinks you like and want or not, mostly if you are changing a hiperfixation or if you are in a very hyperactive day, so make sure to be specific with him. If you don't he may end up spending a bit too much on the wrong things for you and making a scene as if it was someone else's fault (you know better by now)

When it comes to forgetfulness and your attention span, he has a very good way of always making sure you are on track. Everything that is not obvious what it is is labelled, just like how he has alarms for every important thing you may need a reminder of.

It is common to see a blue door appear in your room, just for Jason to get out with a full meal in arms, just for you. He will always cook it himself, as to make sure it is perfect. He can't have it not being perfect for you and your taste.

Even on the most frustrating of days, he is there with you. He will embrace you firmly, and whisper sweet comforting words in your ear.

"Darling, you are doing great, no need to feel bad, okay?"

"I'm sure we can work what is wrong later, why don't I make you a new plush?"

"Maybe today isn't the day, but you know what it is? A perfect day for a shopping trip."

It may not be much, but his words are so full of love and of care for you, that most times it does help a tad bit.

Oh yeah, almost forgot, don't let him get too excited when doing stuff for you, he might end up making his toy shops bankrupt and he also might end up in debt. He gets carried away on making you feel appreciated, but he still needs the for you two haha!

I hope this is good enough! Rough days for me, but writing for Jason always makes my days better.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being semi-close to someone a lot younger than me?

This is something I've been worried about for a while, but it's become more prominent lately after me seeing several people say it's inherently creepy for an adult (or even just way older person) to be interacting with a child. And I really don't want to be like that, I don't want to hurt a kid ever, especially since I know what it's like to be groomed myself.

So I (18F) have known this kid (13) for about 3 years now. They reached out to me online because of similar interests- mainly in games and in YouTube channels, and we bonded a lot over that. They didn't have their age in their bio so I didn't immediately know their age, but I did find out a few months in.

Over the course of when we've known each other I've been as careful as I can to be age appropriate. I never bring up anything sexual for obvious reasons (the only time it ever came up was them asking what a sexual term meant, which made me very uncomfortable and I tried to change the subject... to which they started repeatedly inappropriately using the word. They ended up looking up the definition and where horrified. Even that conversation makes me feel wrong).

I also make sure to not put any of my personal issues on them. I couldn't always hide when I was upset- both because for the first year of us knowing each other I had unmedicated ADHD that made my mood swing a lot, and for the past 2 1/2 years or so I've been in a very toxic relationship that I still don't know how to get out of and quite frankly, am scared to get out of because I don't know how they'll react if I do actually leave them. Do to this, there's been times they could tell something was off and would ask me what's wrong. I avoided telling them as much as possible, just giving them something vague and reminding them that it's not their responsibility to help me, because they would always try to help cheer me up, and even that didn't feel right because they're a kid. They should be focusing on themself, not me. The worst of this though, is there was a time I was struggling heavilly with suicidal thoughts. I was planning to attempt, and sent out a vague "goodbye" type message, trying not to make it too obvious what was happening. They caught on though. They weren't the one who helped me calm down from that but I still know how awful it is to be sitting there, scared you're going to loose someone important to you. Especially for a kid. I've apologized for that happening many times, and it hasn't repeated, but every time they just go "It's fine, you were a struggling kid too back then" as if that makes that okay. It doesn't feel right.

Throughout the 3 years we've known each other, I've also tried to help out where I can with several issues they've had. Which was pretty much just me giving advice for how to handle difficult situations where I felt I could, and offering comfort and reassurance where I couldn't. Among other things, I helped them recognize several instances where other people they met online where intentionally trying to groom them. I explained to them that it wasn't normal for someone my age to want to be with them/find them attractive, because there where several instances of them telling me of 15/16 year olds getting with them. That no responsible person my age would be doing that to them, and that it wasn't okay for them to do that.

Because of the help I've given them, I notice they look up to me quite a lot. They have told me they see me as a role model and "the best person they know" (I can guarantee I'm not, and have tried to get them to not see me that highly because that seems unhealthy). They even see me as a sort of parental figure, including calling me parental-like names. That by itself I don't mind too much, I know they had a terrible home-life and didn't feel they could actually look up to their real life parents. So if I am giving them something I think every child deserves to have (a parental role model they can look up to), I'm glad. I just worry I'm not as good a role model for that as they think I am, and that I'm a creep, just like the ones I have gotten away from them in the past. I do care about them a lot, and do see them in that sort of familial way, and I want to protect them and help them have a better life, because I know they have struggled a lot and if I am able to help them, I want to. But I'm worried I'm causing the same harm that has been caused to me, and that others have tried to/have caused to them in the past without even realizing what I'm doing wrong. I don't want to be like those creepy assholes.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[yandere-wishes]

I don't think I'm neurodivergent but there is this phenomenon called maladaptive daydreaming. It's usually developed from a very young age by children who were bullied or bored, usually both. It's not classified as a mental illness but if it goes unchecked it can actually interfere with your life, so it should be managed.

One time when my parents were home I spent a good 9 hours just sitting on the couch, listening to music and swaying left right, left right, just making up scenarios. I didn't eat or go to the bathroom at all during those 9 hours. I was horrified when I saw how much had passed because it did NOT feel like it was that much.

Ana, the reason it's taken me 2 whole weeks to answer this is because you have utterly and wholly terrorized me. I relate to this so hard. 😭😭

quick question, did you have headphones on? And where you listening to new songs or your fav songs? Cause I can kinda get getting lost in a trance to new or fav songs and lose track of time dreaming of a perfect life. Still, nine hours is a LONG time. I'm surprised your parents didn't interfere. My parents see me doing anything "unproductive" for more than an hour and automatically they find something for me to do (usually some sort of chore our study topic) 😭🤣😭🤣

the thing with me is that I don't think I ever really stop daydreaming. It's never even at the back of my head either, it's always somewhere in the forefront no matter what I'm doing. Like some super normal thing will be happening and my brain just automatically goes "Okay here's a list of 10+ scenarios that could simultaneously be happening right now." You'd be surprised how many of those scenarios include fictional characters and my obvious need for real human interactions. Then before I know it I've completely lost track of what was/is happening in class.

That's also why I kinda need to associate what I'm studying with some sort of fictional media "theme" so 1) I can actually motivate myself to study and 2) even if I do black out and start daydreaming there's this little lifeline that can kinda drag me back.

I don't really think I'm neurodivergent either (although lately, I think that ADHD may be the explanation for a lot of things I do). I can't say I had the best childhood. Home life was perfectly fine, my dad was strict but my family was very loving. But I was bullied a lot in school. From elementary to middle school. I guess that's why I'm so obsessed with fictional characters. Because with them I can feel like I belong. I'm free to make up scenarios where everything is fine. Sorry, this got super sappy. 😣😆😣

On the bright side, I can now add "maladaptive daydreaming" as part of my skills in my resume 🤣🤣

[itsaspectrumcomic]

This is going to be long but i really want to tell someone the guilt is eating me alive and please feel free to ignore this

I have been suspecting I have adhd from the last six months now because many symptoms do match and some adhd tips help me out a lot

But since i don't have the family or support or finances(I am a minor ) to actually get to a doctor i can't really be sure and maybe i don't have it but since so many things do match i hope it's alright to rant here please please feel free to ignore this

My great grandfather passed away in November but it actually started in September when I got a fracture so I had to remain at home for a month and I am just a lazy person so ofc it was an excuse for me to like stop studying in August I had a big exam and it had went well but at that time i didn't think so

So yeah after a month of fracture comes October my extra classes and school and my innate phone addiction i do t study even tho I have a big exam that month again . I struggle with focus a lot and i just i don't know how to type it's it's so shameful but i just find every minor inconvenience to be an excuse. My mom is emotionally abusive maybeand homophobic or tough parenting but her words had started affecting me a lot .

Then in October end November start my grandfather passed away and it took an obvious toll on me and I don't think I am still over it and it amplified my phone addiction because he used to be in the room beside me so i wasn't ever fully alone even tho he was old and now that he is gone the silence is unnerving and i have to distract myself enough to sleep my October big exam already went to shit

And in December again I am not studying I can't study and my brain refuses to sit still and maybe I have a victim complex but things start to take a toll I start getting some suicidal thoughts which were only passive before but now active

Now from January everything is just the same I am still not able to study

I disappoint myse6and everyone no-one knows i cheat on my exams I just I am not a good person and i am lying to myself and everyone so much and YK the gifted kid thjnv I was a good kid and my mom keeps making comparisons and she says she would never have talked to me if i wasn't her daughter and i am so tired I want to get better but i just don't know how I have trouble sleeping I have trouble studying I can't do anything right i can't wake up in the morning i can't do anything right and I just want everything to end but I do not even deserve to put that pain on my parents and my exams are coming up and I just don't know how how do I do anything

Hello, I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. It sounds like you are and have been going through a lot and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Having trouble focusing or studying does not make you a bad person, and your mum absolutely should not be saying those things to you. You don't deserve that, I promise.

The truth is, losing a family member is hard, dealing with an injury is hard, dealing with emotional abuse is hard, and it takes time to work through things like that, so I'm not surprised you've been having a hard time with school on top of everything else.

It sounds like you could really do with some support. Is there someone you can talk to about how you've been feeling? A friend, a teacher, a counsellor, another authority figure you trust?

(Also if you talk to your teachers about how you're struggling to study, they might even be able to give you some extra help or lessons if you need it.)

Please try not to feel guilty or put so much pressure on yourself. It's ok not to be perfect even at the best of times. Thank you for being here ❤️

[causesciencethatswhy]

I was talking to my best friend ab the whole Jkk MS situation and we came to the conclusion that, although we can't be sure of the nature of their relationship, these two are more committed to each other than many official couples we know. Like, if it proved tomorrow that they aren't/were never a thing, I would seriously question my sanity.

I'm just thinking how, OF COURSE, I'd rather enlist with any of my best friends too rather than go through the process alone but the implications of the entire buddy system seem so much.. more to me. Applying 3 months prior, choosing the hardest divisions so you have more chance to be together, knowing the consequences if you both fail, being certain that you won't get sick of eo for being together 24/7. And just when I was thinking how most people appreciate their 'me time' throughout the day, especially after spending so much time with somebody else, even if it's one of your closest people - boom, these two bitches choose to apply for the same brigade as well. This shows how confident they are in their bond, how they'd rather spend every waking moment together than spend time apart, and that's something that doesn't apply to friends or even most couples. And if they by chance end up with other people in the future, I don't think it will ever measure with what these two men have with each other. But PLS JIKOOK JUST TELL US WHAT YOU ARE, IM SERIOUSLY SO INVESTED i love them sm

Hi hi, sorry for the super late reply, I really loved your ask but my adhd kicked in and I kept pushing off answering cause I wanted to answer right.

But you and your best friend are onto something because honestly the amount of time that jikook have committed to each other by enlisting together is insane. At first I was sceptical how spending too much time together might potentially affect them too but I recently went on a trip with my family and had to spend almost a whole week with my sister and her boyfriend who stuck to each other like glue and were as silly and hopelessly in love as they were 6 years ago when they first started dating each other. These two spend a lot of time together but they still don't mind getting to spend even more time together because that's their person, and it's not about being constantly upto some romantic shenanigans with that person but just the comfort of their presence right by your side.

I'm sure jikook still get their little 'me times' despite the buddy system because if there’s anything these two are good at, it's respecting each other's boundaries and wishes but I also don't think they will (fingers crossed) have any problems with spending such an exorbitant amount of time together because another thing these two have shown us is just how much they prefer each other's company.

Jikooks relationship truly can't just be limited to friends or boyfriends most days because they find themselves in such a unique position due to the nature of their fame and the obvious homophobic social structures around them. But I do think they've carved themselves a corner in this space that is just their's and their's to be witness too, regardless of what may happen in the future, does that make sense?

Anyways, I love them a whole lot and hope they stay healthy and happy till they come back to us.