#don't even get me started on 5.
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there needs to be a support group for people who've been reading the zodiac academy
#seriously#i would not be able to give you a single coherent thought about these books#all you'll hear is tortured screaming if you look inside my brain while i'm reading these books#don't even get me started on 5.#I'm just straight up Not okay#zodiac academy#tory vega#darcy vega#lance orion#darius acrux#seth capella#<- ALSO THIS FUCKING BITCH#HAD NO RIGHT MAKING ME LOVE HIM THE WAY I DO#I HATED HIM AND NOW?#he's literally keeping me alive through the series at this point#caleb altair#geraldine grus#max rigel
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This time, let me do it.
#jack and joker#jack and joker the series#jack and joker u steal my heart#jackandjokeredit#jack x joker#yin anan#war wanarat#yinwar#tobelle#lextag#userspicy#userbon#mjtag#userrlana#uservix#userrlaura#userpharawee#rosytracks#tuseryoo#mygifs*#userspring#thai bl#jackjoker#the arm thing in gif 2... GIF 3!!!! and don't even get me started on that lip bite in gif 5...#TUMBLR PLEASE DO NOT FLAG THIS I AM BEGGING 🙏🏽🙏🏽
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Okay but it's super interesting how
Din = Power = Ganondorf
Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda
Farore = Courage = Link.
Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.
Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.
And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.
Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.
Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.
Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
They sit in perfect parallels to each other.
And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.
Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.
Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.
Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.
But the other direction?
Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.
And that's the very essence of the triforce.
#It's little details spread across the games like this that just makes it work so WELL it's SO COOL#They're all great at all parts of the triforce but they CHOOSE to focus on the path most meaningful to them#And that's literally reflected in their unique cycles of reincarnation isn't that just AMAZING#And that's why the team up is so important! If they were all working against each other they'd be locked spinning their wheels#If zelda and ganon teamed up link would immediately die and if link and ganon teamed up zelda would instantly perish#It's the link zelda team up that means ganon is the one who kicks it#Also the elemental thing was cool but they do jump around a bit. Like wind is there half the time#In botk the gerudo have lightning and the goron have fire. Farosh still has lightning tho and dinraal fire#In ss lanaryu was the lightning and faron had water like its all over the place thematically. And that's when it's only 3!#Don't even get me started on the 5/7 lots notankyu#But that's the most common group and it's also thematically accurate#Fire being the only one able to self perpetuate with fuel. Can be banked up again. Ice compresses with time but needs the right environment#Lightning go boom 👍 you can feel the static in the air but you don't know when/where it'll strike and then it's all over#Like fr it's hilarious zelda and ganon are playing the long game and link runs past eats all the pieces and while ganons yelling after him#Zelda checkmates his king. And nobody can prove she wasn't cheating because nobody was looking lmao#Ah the duality of metaphors#ANYWAY isn't that so neat???#Reason no.372 why rhoam was a terrible king he didn't just screw up he did it ✨thematically✨#If link had been allowed to run off and get dirty and if zelda was allowed to study her interest (like post kingdom fall FOR EXAMPLE)#They'd have won (like aoc) but nooooooo. I've already made a post (or 3) about it lmao I'll be quiet now#loz#legend of zelda#botw#triforce#loz link#the legend of zelda#zelda#loz botw#ganondorf#loz ganon
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Anti-technology people who insist they're not ableist crack me up. What about people who rely on machines to breathe, eat, keep their heart functioning, or otherwise stay alive? "Well not that technology, obviously!" Ok what about AAC users, people who use hearing aids, or otherwise use technology to interact with the world in ways they otherwise couldn't? "Not that technology, obviously." Okay, my mobile phone is my memory, my sense of time, my sense of direction when I get lost, my ability to contact someone when I need help. It is my personal freedom because without it I would need full time care and supervision. But yes, that technology, right?
I hate how technology is made and utilised under capitalism as much as the next guy, but to pretend that technology doesn't greatly improve the lives of countless people, or even allow them to continue being alive, is to be willfully ignorant to the existence of disabled people. A world without technology is a world where a lot of disabled people don't get to survive. Capitalism is the problem, not the technology. Technology can (and should) exist just fine without capitalism.
#cripplepunk#cripple punk#disability#anti tech#actually disabled#don't even get me started on how technology is necessary to synthesise a lot of vital medicines#A whole lot of supposedly left wing ideologies rely on just pretending that disabled people don't exist#Or even outright admitting that we would no longer exist in their 'ideal' future#Apparently eugenics is fine if you put an anti-capitalist badge on it#Anti tech is ecofascism you can't change my mind#(Side note I forgot the word activism for a solid 5 minutes writing this and I'm scared)#eco fascism#1k#2k#3k
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On average, what is the total MONTHLY amount that you spend on dining out*?
*(This doesn't only count going out to restaurants, but also stuff like picking up fast food to bring home, getting a coffee on the way to work, getting a premade sandwich from a grocery store deli during lunch, buying a quick snack from a convenience store or food cart whilst walking somewhere, ordering a pizza or any other food to be delivered to your home, etc.)
*(If you often dine out in groups/as a household: calculate and divide the costs so that you get a Per Person average. This is for YOU individually, NOT the total household/group costs)
(I'm sure polls similar to this have been made before (very common topic), I just haven't personally seen one that I can remember, so, I was curious to do my own! I was discussing this with a group of people today and it was very interesting to see how widely the number varied between individuals. :0c )
(Reblog for bigger sample size if you can, and feel free to explain your answer in tags if there's anything extra to add!)
#polls#tumblr polls#I'm mostly in the 0/1 - 25$ category. Maybe the rare month is a bit over $25 if there's something specific going on like birthday.#Which I'm NEVER eating in an actual restaurant (erm... covid... plus I just hate restaurant environments. i would rather pickup#the food and bring it home to a peaceful quiet environment that I control lol). But more typically like stopping by a grocery store deli#section or something. I don't have coffee that much. And I can't eat fast food much due to my health issues/diet restriction stuff#so if I'm out like coming back from an appointment and I start feeling really sick and weak. I know that a hamburger will just#blow up my system and cause nausea or something. So I try to pick the breadiest most#neutral looking turkey sandwich at the safeway deli to eat during the hour ride home or whatever lol#I actually kind of wish I could do stuff like get food more often vecause it would take the burden of cooking everything off of me#but.. alas... Money... and Health Things... T o T#I still wouldn't do it ALL the time but like... once a week instead of once a month or something.. or maybe turning into a coffee#person.. I do love drinks A LOT .. i am a drink person who will have 5 different drinks sipping on at all times#But i just have to make them all myself mostly lol#And I cant really have too much coffee since it will make me sick. so like.. teas and juice mostly#When I inevitably become a millionaire by never using social media never networking and only finishing one#sculpture every 5 months which I dont even post about or sell - then I shall... get more drinks..#I will somehow wean my body onto coffee and drink one a day solely for the ritual of it#Though even then... I would still probably just like.. buy the mateirals to make it at home or something#Like if you had a million dollars you could just buy a kitchen grade ice cream machine and other stuff to make your own milkshakes and#coffees and smoothies and bubble teas. Genuinely I think even if I were a BILLIONAIRE I would still look at playing likr $8 for a single#coffee and go .. uh.... I could just buy the equipment to make this and then save that money. PLUS. its in my house now so no need to#have to leave. I can make my own drinks in the comfort of home. .. ideal..#Like no matter how rich I ever got I would still have the lingering scroogey stinginess. like i am NOT paying for that. I will jus#make it myself. Especially if it was an Everyday thing. Anythign thats part of my routine I try to optimize and make as efficient as#possible... ANYWAY.. In an IDEAL world I would get treats. but probably not that much. as on a daily basis it would start to get#to me and I would just save up to buy kitchen machinery if I was rich lol
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i know poolverine is all the rage now but goddamn if it didn't HURT that when wade thought he was going to die in the time ripper it flashed back to that moment in ajax's laboratory when he and cunningham were coming up with a bucket list of things they want to do most. "i want to see vanessa" like fuck he did not stop thinking of her for a single second of all three movies. EVERY single thing he did was for her and when she died he tried over and over to kill himself because she WAS his purpose. wade loves so hard it's actually devastating
#user: gossippool 😝#gossippool metas#i am SO ABNORMAL ABOUT HIM#i am resisting the urge to bring up deadpool vol 5 again but yeah. deadpool vol 5#don't even get me started on how wade is with kids. like just don't i might cry#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson#vanessa carlysle
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we're doing loot boxes now guys. as an sl creator myself, these scummy ass sl creators coming to sims can really go suck a duck.
#scrolling simsdom and i see a fucking ad for a mystery bundle from off-line#literally a fucking 5$ LOOT BOX#for sims ofc#thats great#then watch them try to bring that gacha shit over here since they can't do that on sl now#and don't even get me started on these fucking “samples”#a shitty#ill-fitted#50k poly sample#good job
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Okay, so I know I'm like 20 years late, but I just finished watching Danny Phantom for the first time since I was a kid and I have a lot to say. (Most of it's been said already in the posts I've seen here.) But the thing I really want more than anything, is a reboot where they're in senior year instead and it's not tv-y7 where the darker themes they mention in passing can be thoroughly explored because can you imagine if they did it right?! (I mean the show is great and so so unique but the potential it had to be better!)
Like senior year going into college, the exestienal dread of having to figure out what you want to do with your life and then dying but not and now having to protect the ones you love from ghosts while making sure you finish with a high enough GPA to get into college cause you're from a family of geniuses and you're expected to but now not knowing if you even can because of the accident and the role you now have to play and watching all your peers get to have that choice and you can't even figure whats going on with your body and it's horrifying and ghosts are (actually) scary as shit (cause it's horror now not comedy) and no one around you really gets it and you learn your friends kind of suck but they're all you have and oh you have a whole realm of enemies who never really stop hunting you for sport on top of the guy who wants to fuck your mom and makes it everybody's business and oh yeah, you're kind of dead!
Oh yeah and the concept of how ghosts become ghosts and the sad truth that Danny's not fighting inherently evil beings but people who died including one five year old! And the fact that his parents would quite literally gut him alive if they caught him. That horror is brushed aside way too much in canon. And then when his parents find out in the two season finales that they do they just "oh Danny you should have told us you know we love you no matter what" like uh you just said if you ever caught his putrid, evil, ectoplasm being that you would rip him apart molecule by molecule but sure, let's pretend the son that you ignore more than speak too and literally couldn't tell that he'd been replaced by a robot that he would have been okay telling you that your ignorance and lack of safety protocol killed him and turned him into the very thing you hate.
Like, please, it would be so good.
#And like#I know it's 5 am#but don't even get me started on Sam and Tucker#the development and learning to be real and good friends that they didnt get#smh#i am taking rewrite fic recommendations if you people have them#cause im starving for it#or if you can point me to a show that will fill the void that the uniqueness of this one has left#preciate it#danny phantom#danny fenton#fanfiction#Butch Hartman Butch Hartman when i catch you Butch Hartman when i catch you
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the way that so much love and passion went into literally every detail of this show i genuinely need a sec,, i love the art of storytelling!!!
#the print on jen's dress!! the leaf colors!! the details of the salem 7 down to the period silhouettes!!!#THE FUCKING BEACH HOUSE TRANSITION?!?!?#i would literally watch like 5 more hours of anyone from that set talking about their work#and don't even get me started on the cast i love them so much#this silly little witch show has bewitched me body and soul and i will never be normal about it i fear!!#(so all that being said marvel do you maybe want to tell us something? 👀👀)#agatha all along
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you can't do anything without spending money anymore everything is all money moneymonrymoney im gonna turn into a rabid chimp
#bear.txt#don't mind me im fine. it's fine.#they changed an event that's been free for so many years into smth that costs 5 per person to get in#IT'S JUST FLYING KITES IN A FIELD FOR GOODNESS SAKE#the vendors n food can cost hell even parking i guess idc. RAH im fine.#i need to go hiking more. time to start birding fr
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I am so unbelievably pissed off. FUCK HOAs
Oh, my trash/recycling bin can't be visible except on pickup day? Ok whatever fine I hate you but I can deal with this
Weekly inspections?????? FU FU FU FU FU
SECOND NOTICE ALSO WE'RE CHARGING YOU MONEY TO SEND YOU CERTIFIED MAIL OF THIS TOTALLY LEGIT TOTALLY SECOND NOTICE OF WHAT IS ACTUALLY A VIOLATION cue me: checks notes. Hmm. My recycling bin was. on the curb. on recycling pickup day. You know. The day it has to be out. The day it is motherfucking ALLOWED TO BE FUCKING OUT AND VISIBLE.
so. 1) not a violation
I have sent them the trash AND recycling pickup schedules, which are DIFFERENT, btw
I have disputed the fact of the violation
I have disputed the linking of this "violation" to a previous violation MONTHS AGO--their "first notice" in this case was a "Courtesy Notice" LITERALLY 5 MONTHS AGO and they've done so many inspections since then and my bin CLEARLY WASN'T OUT IN THOSE INTERVENING MONTHS so WTMFH
So I am posting like a crazy person here instead of sending the absolutely deranged email I almost sent (I did send a slightly less deranged version with the disputes, and requesting a hearing)
OMG. It has been. Less than one hour since I learned this fun fun news. My bin was out YESTERDAY, y'all. YESTERDAY. I am going to blow a gasket
#it's a relatively privileged problem to have (omg i have a home truly i am grateful) but it's still a goddamned problem and i'm allowed#to fucking complain about it#in case it needs to be said#*rolling my eyes*#i advocate for free/actually affordable housing for everyone who needs it because we ALL deserve a safe secure stable home#whatever type of home that may be#it is absolutely goddamned ridiculous that megacorps can buy all the housing#rent it out at extortionate rates and evict people willy nilly#and we're talking about a “housing crisis” and not a “STOP LETTING CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRES HOARD ALL THE HOUSING” crisis#goddamn.#ha elect me president (ahaha don't do this i am not a good public speaker) and I'll push congress to pass some really neat legislation#hey be more direct: elect me to congress (ahaha don't do this) and i'll WRITE some goddamn nifty legislation and yell about it as long and#as loud as i can until people start to just fucking say yes to make me shut the fuck up#(i know that's not how it works. again. don't actually elect me to a government position)#exemplia gratis:#No individual person shall own more than 6 homes UNLESS they pay a Housing Market Shrinkage Fee for removing viable housing from the market#why 6 and not 2? 2 is a lot! it's excessive! but having A vacation home shouldn't be a crime. Having 5 vacation homes is ridiculous and#awful and whatever but it's not likely to be the source of all our greatest “housing shortage” problems. no. I'm aiming for the absolutely#monstrously greedy and egregious motherfuckers who---ok#hang on. how many homes does the average min and max homeowner own? I would like to see data on that. but anyway#the next part of the legislation:#Homes owned >6 shall be charged X% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee UNLESS they are rented for affordable (15% or less than renter net income)#housing and are actively occupied by said renters. Rented out and charging more than 15% of renter's net? still gotta pay up.#EMPTY housing >6 shall be subject to an additional Y% Housing Market Shrinkage Fee (tax? should I call it a tax?) which increases with ever#month that the housing goes unoccupied. no one living in it? sell it rent it or pay the fuck up. and still pay the fuck up if you rent it#for way too goddamn much money#but like. less. we only REALLY hate you if you sit on empty houses that you don't even let anyone use#ok that's individuals. now onto BUSINESSES#ok so immediately it gets a little complicated cuz like presumably there's rental management businesses that don't own the rental propertie#that they manage BUT there are also companies that just outright own a shitfuckton of housing and THIS is the truly egregious monstrous sid
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4 Minutes really is Korn and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life.
His dad clearly doesn't care about him besides him being his firstborn and thus heir, possibly because he didn't care about his mom. Great's mom doesn't give a single shit about him. Great was willing to throw him aside like it was nothing, despite Korn seemingly always being there for him AND being willing to take on everything terrible about their family so his baby brother doesn't have to. He's lost Tonkla due to his own inactions, actions, and just the circumstances of his life*. Fasai seems to be the only one on his side, but they so clearly don't see eye to eye on the realities of their lives. His own henchman went above him to report to his dad, so he really doesn't even have any power at his job either.
I'm pretty sure he's about to do some real clown shit to try to get his dad's approval. Especially with Great and his mom being shot since that only happened because Nan was able to go live and that is sorta kinda definitely his fault. If his dad already didn't like him and thought he was a disappointment, he's certainly not going to be happy that his failure with Nan got his wife and son possibly killed.
I just don't see this show ending well for Korn the most out of everyone. I feel like death will actually be the best ending Korn can have at this point, it's just gonna suck hardcore for him before it happens.
*and lowkey I'm not sure he even knows Tonkla at this point anymore. Like even if he was able to fix what's broken with their relationship, there's no chance it would be the same anymore. Tonkla's not the same college student that was trying to do better than his alcoholic dad for his brother. He's out here smoking meth, killing people, and his brother is dead. Tonkla can no longer be his getaway from everything because Tonkla is living foully himself. And I stay scared about what his reaction is going to be when he finds out Tonkla not only is fucking Win, who's a cop at that, but moved him in to the house Korn bought. Especially since everything in his life is imploding and he has control of nothing.
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#episode 5 really had me finally caring about Korn for the first time#I still don't like him#but I no longer hate him#I feel sad for him#he's a scared cowardly selfish little man but you know#he was kinda doomed the entire time anyway#he was NEVER going to get to live out and open with Tonkla#even if his family business wasn't shady#his mom was always going to be dead whether Great's mom killed her or she did kill herself#his dad was always going to be disappointed in him because that's the curse of the firstborn heir#the most he could have hoped for is Great staying apathetic to everything like he was at the start of the show#so he could stay the brother he knew#and that's just really sad#regular clyde
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hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy
oh thanks! i could always use more spices-
. what am i supposed to do with this.
#surrounded by henchmen (smaller Me's) i peer reproachfully into my inbox#2: ...get him pregnant?#*slaps 2 upside the head* you absolute GOON he's ALREADY pregnant we can't get him DOUBLE pregnant#2: well... why not? if creatures can have two uteri then i don't see why--#Me: *drags my hand down my face* yes i know but. just. dont#3: Picture this. your snake wife is so full and round (because who knows how many snakelets are in there)#3: one day he has to stop working much earlier than usual. u kno. cuz of the MASS. and he starts getting insecure about his body changes#3: so he touches his tummy . looks up at you with those big eyes and murmurs 'am i... unsightly like this?'#3: and u whisper reassurances to him while kissing his face#3: then u promptly rail him on the nearest comfortable surface to erase any doubt of him being unattractive#Me: ..............WHAT THE FUFK?#3: *shrugs aggressively while maintaining eye contact*#Me: NO. pregnancy isn't even our kink. why are we-#3: not YOUR kink maybe#Me: *incredulous stare* how the-- you know what . Go to the timeout zone. i'm not dealing with this today#4: the ask says 'snakumo' though. Wouldn't he be in snake form then...?#3: so? THIS CHANGES NOTHING.#Me: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#3: *rolls eyes and mutters while walking away*#5: who's greg?#4: dude you can't be serious. if WE know the meme then YOU know the meme#5: i'm serious. i haven't been online in 16 years#4: look. when you wonder if sex will hurt baby top of head-#Me: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS?#2: because we are currently engaged in a circle of ppl squicked by pregnancy... who must make pregnancy jokes#4: it's all about the joke potential ya see. gigglemaxxing#Me: *massaging my temples* i'm not ready to be a father. i never will be.#6: KNOCK HIM UP AND EAT HIS EGGS SO U CAN KNOCK HIM UP AGAIN. NO ONE SAID YOU HAVE TO BE A FATHER !#3: (muffled from a distance) HELL YEAH BROTHER#Me: SHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I know I'm like, one game away from meeting him for real and I probably shouldn't be speculating on a character I don't know yet.
But I have been thinking about *Sin* recently... in terms of like, this kid has to be in near constant pain, right? It might be a little mitigated by him being part gear, but I can't imagine growing so fast wouldn't be excruciating... Especially since he'd be more human than gear (if that train of thought applies here-)
This kid is going through body horrors not previously conceived by my mind I'm gonna. Throw up on the carpet.
#I'm pretty sure the humanoid gear characters aging like they do was to keep the timeline tight but I keep thinking about the Rammys...#don't even get me started on his family-#I dont think Dizzy would be too affected because she herself is a gear who grew up fast (I do wonder about her as well with growing pains)#but thinking about Ky is messing with me...#hes just. a human man... if Ky ever thought about having kids before Sin I can't imagine how rough seeing him grow up so fast would be...#especially since I think Sol raised Sin for most of his life#Sin is 5... and almost fully grown... if I was his dad I wouldn't be able to wrap my head around that#he should be a toddler! how long was Sin even a toddler for? weeks? days? hours??#christ-#I might delete this post later I'm not very confident in this being any worthwhile analysis#it's just something I've been thinking about-#yappin'
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#I can't believe my computer broke just a couple of days before the new chapter came out.#Not to be dramatic or anything but this was my last straw#It means everything to me 😭😭😭 My puter has my whole life in in. And endless resources of everything#That's why people tell you to backup stuff 🤦🤦🤦#Okay before I get too dramatic it's not gone like I can turn it on just fine.#Except there's no cursor to be found anywhere and I can't find a way to fix it#(Yeah it's not the f4 key I've tried that. Repeatedly)#So since there's no way to turn the puter off without mouse I had to kill it the hard way 4-5 times today#(aka every time I tried turning it on again in hope everything got fixed on its own)#And when I turned it on again five minutes ago. IT DIDN'T START NORMALLY. AND IT ASKED THE SYSTEM LANGUAGE AND STUFF#I lost like. Half my lifespan. I was terrified it got formatted out of nowhere and I had lost everything#It didn't. It seemingly is fine (from what I can see from my desktop).#But man I really didn't need this kind of stress on top of average exams depression#Idk what to do... I want to go to the guy in my dorm who studies computer science but it'd be the third time I ask him for help–#and I'm a little embarrassed now. Asking for help sucks in general#But I don't have money to pay consultation...#I think there is a chance my touchpad just worn out since. Like. I use my computer extensively#But even that seems a little excessive? Not even the buttons work. I've only had this computer for three or four years...#Anyways I don't have a physical mouse. And I can't spend money to buy it when there's a chance that wouldn't fix the problem. Ughhhhhhhhhh#random rambles#If I stop posting in the next days. It's simply because I can't 😭😭😭#Goodbye people please keep posting ss kk for me
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Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!
#cats#holiday#OUGHH....... barely could even get these edited and posted... my mysterious sickness flare up has been sooo bad the past few#days.. I didn't even go to the usual obligatory family christmas I was supposed to attend (!!! health issue/medical mention in tags below)#My stomach issues basically put me in a constant state of uncontrollable shivering/body shaking + nausea + sometimes rapid heart#rate. and when it happens at night that makes it like.. nearly impossible to sleep when you're violently shaking + you can feel your heart#so strong + you keep having to run to the bathroom every 5 minute to cough and gag#and throw up and so on and so forth. etc. So I went like 40 hours without any sleep almost for christmas eve and all of christmas day#last night I finally got maybe 2 hours of sleep in between the nausea and shaking and stuff. and then today I was able to get a few#hours of sleep in the afternoon. Today I tried taking an anxiety mediciation a doctor gave me in case it was anxiety related (it's apparent#ly used to relax people and works in the moment. rather than like Anxiety Mediciation that you have to take for weeks to see any effect#because I think this isn't actually acting on your brain chemistry it's judt like..a mild sedative or something.) but all that did was make#me dizzy and sweaty lol. I;m glad I slept a little but I'm just still frustrated that I don't feel normal. I started having these#'episodes' (with the stomach issues + shaking + heartrate + nausea etc.) like at the end of october. And usually it will happen for like a#few hours at a time. or i'll lose sleep one day and then be fine the next. but this has been like nearly 3 days of feeling weird. so is#getting kind of annoying... It's funny too because I was so so productive like.. literally the few days before. I was feeling much better#and I was working on my game and blah blah. But then.. random issue flare up out of nowhere of course.. yaayy.... happy holidays to meee lo#I did at least see two random ducks outside of my window in the yard area for christmas. and havent seen them since. So it's like.. hrmm..#pacing around my room nauseous and shakings and etc. but at least... hello.. two little ducks placed there just for me :3c#Now I get anxiety every night which I'm sure doesn't help/could exacerbate whatever underlying genuinely physical issues exist. But after#like 2 nights of 'I spend the night sleepless and incredibly uncomfortable just sitting in the dark sick' then bedtime is like.. dread...#I even was trying slapping myself in the face in desperation to see if somehow that could shock my body out of whatever the hell it was#doing lol.. up at 3am holding ice cubes in my hand and hitting myself in the head and crying from exhaustion and thowing up.. literally#ridiculous cartoon character feeling... AAANYWAY!!! At least I have baby boy pictures. and I have lots of doctors appointments so hopefully#whatever the issue is can be sorted out at some point. I don't know much about ibs but hopefully maybe something like that that I could pos#ibly take medication for and not something more seirous or anything. Maybe there's a food I'm secretly intolerant to or whatever.#And I did at least post a sims holday video actually timed for the holidays so that's something. I havent been productive really latrely#though obviously.. I can't even play games or small tasks when in that state since I'm just SO physically uncomfortable. Nausea and heart#stuff are THE hardest physical sensations to ignore.. BUT yeah... hoping I shall sleep at all tonight. hopeing to get like 3 productive#things done.. at some point... at least SOMETHING... lol..... *** *** ***
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