#episode 5 really had me finally caring about Korn for the first time

[kennyomegasweave]

4 Minutes really is Korn and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Life.

His dad clearly doesn't care about him besides him being his firstborn and thus heir, possibly because he didn't care about his mom. Great's mom doesn't give a single shit about him. Great was willing to throw him aside like it was nothing, despite Korn seemingly always being there for him AND being willing to take on everything terrible about their family so his baby brother doesn't have to. He's lost Tonkla due to his own inactions, actions, and just the circumstances of his life*. Fasai seems to be the only one on his side, but they so clearly don't see eye to eye on the realities of their lives. His own henchman went above him to report to his dad, so he really doesn't even have any power at his job either.

I'm pretty sure he's about to do some real clown shit to try to get his dad's approval. Especially with Great and his mom being shot since that only happened because Nan was able to go live and that is sorta kinda definitely his fault. If his dad already didn't like him and thought he was a disappointment, he's certainly not going to be happy that his failure with Nan got his wife and son possibly killed.

I just don't see this show ending well for Korn the most out of everyone. I feel like death will actually be the best ending Korn can have at this point, it's just gonna suck hardcore for him before it happens.

*and lowkey I'm not sure he even knows Tonkla at this point anymore. Like even if he was able to fix what's broken with their relationship, there's no chance it would be the same anymore. Tonkla's not the same college student that was trying to do better than his alcoholic dad for his brother. He's out here smoking meth, killing people, and his brother is dead. Tonkla can no longer be his getaway from everything because Tonkla is living foully himself. And I stay scared about what his reaction is going to be when he finds out Tonkla not only is fucking Win, who's a cop at that, but moved him in to the house Korn bought. Especially since everything in his life is imploding and he has control of nothing.

[prdsd4na]

so,,, i was rewatching episode 5 as one does to deal with the fact it’s not saturday yet and when i got to the scene where kinn and his father discuss while playing chess the scene in episode 7 in the hospital with kinn and his father talking again suddenly came to mind and it's fascinating to think about how much both scenes parallel each other and have in common in terms of kinn's character development or more specifically the way he’s breaking free from the role he is supposed to play

in episode 5 kinn goes to his father because chan told him he wants to talk to him and kinn enters the scene like a lost kitten with puppy eyes afraid of what his father would want considering he had sex with porsche the night before and neglected his work the day after and he knows that his father is going to scold him and it's something that always sticks to me when i rewatch the episode because i really like kinn's little expressions here (mile is an acting genius wbk)

so he enters the scene with a stance that makes it seem like his head is weighting on his shoulders and he exales when his father very calmly says 'have a seat' so kinn hints a nervous smile and sits while his father looks at him showing a little smile himself and here kinn hasn’t his jacket on and his hair looks messy he seems so small and powerless like up to that point we saw a fierceless kinn with flames in his eyes and little to no fear surrounding his persona and this scene is maybe the first time we see that vulnerable of him side he then shows in episode 6 when he's alone with porsche and it is also the first time we see kinn actually positioned below his father and kind of scared of him as opposed to the other conversations they had in which it always seemed like they were almost at the same level and kinn always seemed at ease maybe just a bit intimidated as he should because he is anyway father an older person and the leader of their family so he should show respect always

so he's lost and he tries acting as normal as possible but he knows his father can see right through him and his eyes express that sense of vulnerability he's feeling trying to obtain his father's validation they start talking his father seems at ease and starts with small talks and it's kinn that finally breaks and goes to the point because he feels his father's judging gaze on him and the moment they start talking about porsche and about what happened between them the night before kinn is not the mafia boss anymore he's just a boy trying to justify his action to his father who's scolding him

'as a boss, i'm supposed to take care of him, aren't i?' he seems so lost he's trying to justify himself he just wants to hear his father say he did the right thing but

and kinn lowers his head once again avoiding eye contact with his father because deep down he knows that what he did was innapropriate

and at the end he says this, asking his father again what he should do, understanding that if he doesn't want people to gossip about what happened he needs to be bossy and reminds them who's in charge and punish porsche is the only way to do that

but then he says this and i think he says it because he wants his father to decide against the idea of punish porsche because kinn knows it wasn't porsche’s fault and he knows he doesn't deserve the punishment so it's like he's saying to his father 'are you sure we should punish him?'

my god look at this lil meow meow eyes he's so tamed he just wants to obey his father and don't dissapoint him it hurts

and the conversation between them ends like this with kinn visibly at loss and korn who once again established his power over his son

but then episode 7 happens and we hear korn say 'your eyes have changed' and they have indeed because the way kinn is looking at his father now after being alone with porsche in the forest for days is different those days apart from his reality really did something to him and he doesn't seem scared of his father and in search of validation anymore

(referring to the first picture of this post) this time kinn is not sitting opposite to his father but they're beside one another and neither of them turn their whole body towards the other they’re sitting straight and eying each other now he's watching his father how he watches everyone else like he's sitting on this golden throne above all else if his father was the one looking down before he's now looking up at him and it's so important that he indeed noticed it and says 'your eyes have changed'

kinn's expression does drop only because it's the first time he comes to term with the fact that porsche is changing him and the people who knows him are noticing it but he doesn't break eye contact with his father he doesn't lower his head he continues to look at his father fiercely and then his father proceeds with the apple and knife story which parallels the chess analogy he used in episode 5 and we see kinn reacts in a way that screams something along the 'what is this old man saying please shut up' opposite to the chess game when he was practically shitting his pants for how much he was afraid of his father's reaction and i love how opposite the two scenes are because now his father is trying to scare him again with his stories and lessons while what kinn gets from the whole conversation is the fact that he should work on his trust issues to be with porsche because he wants to be with him he wants to trust him he’s beginning to appreciate himself more because of how porsche makes him feel and he doesn’t want to treat these feelings as weaknesses but as a strengths and that's why he accepts the apple from his father and takes the bite he's accepting to be corrupted by the decision he's making that could jeopardize everything he has worked for ‘till that moment and it all culminates with kinn escaping the hospital to go and be with porsche and gifts him his gun(s)

his father asks him to come back to his old self for the sake of the family but later kinn confesses to tay that he doesn't want to be like his old self anymore he's aware of the progress he has made and he wants to move forward

the two scenes parallel each other and give us an insight in the changing developing of kinn's true character which i guess will come to its climax at the end of the series when he'll fully trust porsche with his life and they'll begin the us against the world act

[boyfriendsmalec]

Bad Buddy and Poor Narrative Choices

I feel I’ve processed a bit more what happened on Bad Buddy and now I’m pretty sure that the promo is unfortunately very likely to be what actually transpires (though I really hope it isn't, thinking about ep 11, it looks to be the case).

There’s been a lot of talk on whether or not the show is poor writing. I myself said it was poor writing previously but I want to clarify it’s not the writing that’s poor, it’s the narrative choices that’s poor.

It may contain realism but that realism doesn’t make sense when taking into account what we know of the show. Besides knowing how committed Pat and Pran are to each other, I cannot fathom why the “it’s us against the world” storyline suddenly becomes “the world won.”

Also the fact that Pran’s mom in the end of episode 10 had said she didn’t want their kids to hate the neighbors next door anymore, that the only despicable person was Pat’s dad like… it really seemed like she was coming around. And I can’t believe Pat would completely just fall in line with his dad. Yes, Pat talked about taking over his family business but he also clearly would give up everything to be with Pran.

It’s poor narrative choices because it doesn’t allow the parents to grow at all. So what’s going to happen in episode 12? After 2-3 years apart and seeing how depressed their children are, they finally agree to let them be together? Is it not enough they were separated once, they have to be twice? (And in the book they were only separated once and I believe it was for around 18 months)

Also you’re telling me that Pran and Pat literally will live across from each other the next 2-3 years and don’t talk or interact? After everything they've been through it also feels weird their friends don’t try to help them reconcile, knowing how much Pat and Pran care for each other (seeing that Wai and Korn are now friends they must intermingle in the same social circles).

I have no idea what will go down at their high school reunion, but I’m guessing it happens around the time they graduate from university (or the year after graduation so they’re likely around 22 at the time).

I think I'm mostly just disappointed and tired. Frankly this was narratively uncreative. You can have a different take on it. I’ve seen break ups done well and poorly.

(For example for satisfying breakups that I UNDERSTOOD: Cherry Magic because it felt very in character and while it was upsetting the break up actually felt earned and not out of place. GSP [a show that has an open ending that actually felt right] where again it felt highly in character.)

Obviously it’s clear Pat and Pran love each other but the reasoning behind their breakup seems really forced in. Like yes the parents are an issue, but is the issue so large they can't stay together? Is it just because being together will upset their parents and make them unhappy? If we’d seen some more stakes in episode 10 then maybe I could understand more but all it seems to be about is family approval (which both Pat and Pran seem to not care about anymore). Neither parent was threatening to disown them or to send them abroad or anything.

Rewatching and reading about episode 11 I can see between the lines of the break up but the red shirt scene to me read very different upon first viewing and still does. Like they understand each other and read each other week enough to know what’s happening but— I hate it. I honest to god hate this is the route P’Aof has taken.

A break up followed by a time jump has slowly become a staple in the BL genre. I can name several shows off the top of my head with a break up and reunion:

ATOTS (2 year split), We Best Love (5 year split), Lovely Writer (some matter of months split), Until We Meet Again (some matter of months split), etc.

It’s become a cop out way for writers to separate couples for months or years and then bring them back together. Break ups shouldn’t be the only way to develop angst. I had hoped the angst would only stem from trying to get their families to accept them but instead their families win and they have to suffer for YEARS because of it.

This break up surprised most of the audience because it wasn’t overt. Literally I didn’t see it until I watched the ep 12 preview. To me the whole episode was about Pat and Pran confirming and further establishing their love, so to me it seems wildly off that such an episode would end with them breaking up. I know people say the whole episode was clearly leading to a break up, but keep in mind everyone interprets things differently and I certainly didn’t see it that way upon first viewing.

I know there’s cultural context to Southeast Asian families and how that pressure for parental acceptance is tantamount but the way the show compared Pran missing his mom (because she fed him and took care of him you know… basic things a parent should do) to Junior who is a like a 9 year old child while Pran is a 19 year old college student was a large reach for me. Like I saw the parallel they were going for and didn’t buy into it for a second.

I can understand now more of the choices that were made but I still don’t believe this was the way to carry out the storyline. P’Aof is appearing to fall back to old and tired separation tropes and it does feel like it’s for drama’s sake (to me) rather than for narrative or character development.

I’ll conclude this on a slightly happier note by saying, after all the marriage and honeymoon allusions, I do think we will get a marriage proposal (again at what cost).

But a marriage proposal when they’ve been broken up for 2/3 years you say?

Yes. While it’s not a BL, Shadowhunters had a breakup between the two leads and upon reconciliation the two immediately got engaged. In Cherry Magic after reuniting Kurosawa immediately proposes to Adachi.

I could see Pat doing the same for Pran honestly and him saying he got the ring years ago or something and everyone crying over it.

I know Nanon said to watch to the very end and that the end is very “P’Aof” and so I’m like 95% sure this is going to end with a proposal of Pat to Pran.

TLDR; Everyone can view this differently and has different interpretations. I am personally very disappointed with the narrative choices made and find it’s become very formulaic at this point to separate the two leads for the sake of dramatic tension. While some aspects of it may make sense or have been told well, it doesn’t mean it was the right choices for the story, and goes against sort of the core concept of this show (Pat and Pran against the world). The one bonus in all this is we are likely getting Pat proposing to Pran in the end.

Still trying to hold onto a tiny shred of hope that the preview is lying but most of my hope is now squashed. Sorry to say as I try to stay hopeful and optimistic but the more I think about it, the less likely it is, though I really do hope and wish for that to be the case.

[geekygirl24]

Day 22: Favourite scene from your #1 Drama

I looked back at my Top 11 list of favourites and chose a scene from each of them :)

11. Sarawat touches the chest (2gether the series)

I think this is the first time we see Sarawat truely vulnerable. After being beaten up though, head leaning on Tine’s shoulder (SQUEE!), he seizes his opportunity to have a quick grab of Tine’s chest. I laughed when i saw this, but it was also a sweet scene :)

10. Tutor taking control (Why R U)

I know i said that i preferred Saifah/Zon in this series... but i love me a bit of role rehearsal, and to see Fighter so willing as Tutor took control, i loved it!

9. Seryou says he likes Yuzuru’s blunt nature

After being dumped so many times for being too blunt and not ‘gentle’ as his handsome face would suggest, i think this is the moment when Yuzuru truely felt like he was falling in love with Seryou. Someone who didn’t care that he spoke his mind. It was sort of a confession on Seryou’s side, and yet, sort of not.

8. Ram/King Greenhouse/Garden scene

“The person who understands me... is you.”

I could watch this over and over again. The way King puts the flower behind Ram’s ear, the way they look at each, how soft Ram’s voice is! It is just perfect!

7. Ae and Pete’s first meeting - Love by Chance

Wish this love could be forever, and now our love will be forver!

Seriously, this is one of the cutest first meetings in BL history and i will stand by that

6. Akira stands up for himself and his sister - Love on the Line

I really felt for Akira throughout the show. Even though it was clear that he was in love with Yuuki, he let his mother’s talk of being ‘normal’ get into his head, prompting him to live a lie for a long time, even getting married to a woman. When he finally questioned her on what was normal anymore, it was such a relief.

5. History2: CTL: Kiss through the net

This was such a cute scene, and whilst it didn’t go according to Yu Hao’s plan, it is still an adorable moment.

4. Ming and Kit get together - 2moons2

I honestly thought this scene was never going to happen, but i’m glad that it did, and despite Kit’s family, it was a really sweet scene. Going back to that Moon/Earth reference, the way Kit leans against Ming’s chest... it was just amazing!

3. Intouch and Korn are at peace - UWMA

Yes, i cried buckets of tears.... yes, i would watch it all again. The moment where Intouch turns to smile at Pharm, to thank him, I honestly had to pause the video because i was crying so hard. But they were happy tears, because the pair deserved to their peace after what they went through.

(A/N: I’m actually crying thinking about it!)

2. Kurosawa’s panic - Cherry Magic

Honestly, I loved every scene in Cherry Magic, but that first scene in the elevator, when it’s revealed that the handsome, charming Kurosawa likes Adachi will always be a favourite. Kurosawa went through a lot of ‘OMG ADACHI!’ mental moments in this show, but this was cute... especially as Adachi had no clue.

1. Kenji just wants to talk about who he loves - Kinou Nani Tabeta

Now, this happens in the very first episode. Shirou is still in the closet in his work life, and doesn’t want anyone to ever find out. So, when he finds out that Kenji has been talking about them to his clients, he is really not happy.... but neither is Kenji.

Everyone else talks about their families, why can’t he?

Now, this is a lot less emotional than the moment in Episode 9 where Kenji breaks down about his past, but I think this one made me think more. I can see both sides of the argument, and can’t help but feel sorry for them both.

[wuzzupketchup]

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

This drama came out in 2019 but it’s only now that I got the time and energy to watch it. I’ve had a lot of recommendations from a bunch of people to check this one out. Finally, I did. This is gonna be a full-on review so brace yourselves. Warning: Spoilers possibly ahead.

Time and again, I’ve told people that I am a sucker for great storytelling. Toss me a line in your opening sequences and if I like it, I’m gonna grab on and sink into the story with you. What happened here was that I kept tugging at the line and wasn’t able to sink until about Episode 4.

Okay. The show actually has merits. I’ll list them down one by one.

1. Great concept. Right off the bat, it is nice to see a BL defy the norm. The soulmate/reincarnation theme was something that we normally get to watch on heteronormal media. Really refreshing to see it incorporated into a BL series to separate it from the “usual” themes we have in this genre.

2. Cooking/cuisine. I love the fact that we are introduced to Thai cuisine, specifically, desserts. My knowledge of Thai food is just basically limited to pad thai and tom yum. So it’s nice to get educated in this area especially international viewers like me.

3. Soundtrack. The series has pretty decent music. It’s not the most outstanding, but it was enough to put you into the mood to watch the scenes/episodes. The upbeat song they used for the more cheerful scenes was my favorite.

4. Dean/Pharm relationship. I’d have to say that this was in fact a very healthy relationship. I liked that boundaries are explicitly established and that even if they were together, consent was still a major factor.

5. Side couple supremacy. I’m sorry but I was really more interested in the Team-Win duo. Eventhough they had such limited screentime, they actually managed to steal my attention. Every single frame that Buon is onscreen, he effortlessly grabs the attention. Prem, on the other hand, was so natural that I had his character as my most favorite. The way he was overprotecting Pharm like he was a baby was just so endearing to me.

6. No girlfriend to ruin the story. I’m so done with stories that incorporate a girl just to stir things up. That being said, the female support in this series was so good to watch (well, maybe Manaow can be a bit irritating most of the time lol).

Now, where do I begin for the not so positive points? For the record, I was meaning to drop the entire show after Episode 3. It wasn’t doing anything for me. But thankfully, I chose to stick it out. Although, I don’t recall watching another BL show where I had to fast forward scenes more than this one. I’ll talk about it later. Here goes the list of minus points:

1. Opening sequences. Good Lord. I wasn’t prepared for it. Like, it literally shocked me I had to stop watching after just 5 minutes in. Once I got over the initial shock, I came back and just started shaking my head. The entire opening was devoid of logic and badly executed. But hey, I can forgive this bit because the whole story is hinged on it.

2. Korn and Intouch. Pivotal characters but sadly, falls short, by a long shot. I should say first and foremost, they were miscast. Not the actors’ fault though, more on the production’s side. There was literally no chemistry between Kao and Earth. Now here’s one major problem for me. I didn’t feel connected with the supposedly OG couple to even care about their reincarnated souls. I had to fast forward their scenes because I found them borderline disturbing and cringey. I was looking for clues as to why Korn fell madly in love with Intouch but I didn’t find any. Intouch, to me, was annoying and creepy. Emotional investment was really hard to come by with this series.

3. Pharm. Oh Pharm. You were cute with your shyboy demeanor at first, but I was mildly irritated once the series progressed. I felt like he had a rather boring personality. Had he not been the reincarnated Intouch, would Dean even bother? That’s a question I was waiting to be answered in the end but I think I’ll just draw out my own conclusion.

4. It’s awfully long, to the point it has already become dragging. Literally, it was a struggle to finish the whole thing. I mean, 17-45 minutes-ish episodes are nothing compared to your normal dramas but from a BL standard, it’s rather long. Some scenes could have been chopped off but still would push the narrative forward. Was this fan service? I don’t know really.

5. Dream sequences. Okay. These were important to the story but midseries, I was so done with them because it seemed like nothing was coming out of it. Fine, Kao and Earth story arc was the focus. And that it was to establish that Dean and Pharm were the reincarnations. But other than that, what was accomplished? Just have some random nightmare and then hyperventilate? At least Dean made a move by having Korn and In investigated but Pharm? What did you do about your nightmares? Me thinks it was just a ploy to have Dean by his side.

6. The final revelations were anti-climactic. Imagine building up the events of the tragic past, only to have a resolution that seemed too convenient. Why say so? Was it just me or did any of you feel like all the obstacles that were supposed to be in Dean and Pharm’s way were consciously removed? This was where I felt super underwhelmed with the writing. The OG lovers had hell to deal with but the reincarnated lovers seemed to have a walk in the park. I’m not saying that they should also go through hell but seriously, there was no real conflict to resolve by the end. Hence, it was a let down.

7. Switching families. Korn being reborn into In’s lineage and In being reborn into the other. I didn’t actually get the point here. I was predisposed to the notion that reincarnated souls tend to come out in the place where they felt they were most loved. Or did I not get the memo it has already changed? Lol. But yeah. It didn’t make sense for me for the OG couple to be reborn in the other side of their respective families. I mean, where’s the familiarity there? It wasn’t even shown that each one had a deep seated connection with members of the other’s families to merit such occurence.

Overall, I enjoyed the story for the most part. I’m sorry if the points I raised in here differ from yours. But the thing is, I watch not only to be entertained. I was constantly trying to find logic to what was happening onscreen especially towards the end when the revelations started coming out. The writers, I have to say, had a penchant with creating unnecessary moments.

Kudos to LineTV and Wabi Sabi for coming up with this very out of the box series. Although I had a lot of reservations, I was still able to appreciate the effort. There were moments of brilliance, but sadly, it was inconsistent.

Would I rewatch it? Hmm. Maybe Team-Win sequences only.

I’d give this a 6.5 out of 10 stars. ⭐️

[emisfritish]

Our gift to the world - Episode 4

Summary: Episode codas of an established Pang/Wave in The Gifted Graduation. Episode 4- This is set after part 1 of the episode when Pang asks Wave to look into the news students... but before all the rest of the episode happens basically. 

Previous parts : Ep.1 /  Ep.2 / Ep.3

Next parts : Ep.5 / Ep.6 / Ep. 7 / Ep. 8

Series on Ao3

Notes : Well this is super late, so my apologies ! But I wanted to get it out before watching the new episode, and before episode 5 can come and potentially crush all of my cute PangWave headcanons. 

Also... will you believe me if I say this was initially supposed to be a light hearted/fun piece ? Yeah... I know. But because I’m apparently incapable of writing these boys any other way than having deep emotional talks, here it goes. 

Wave walks into Pang’s dorm room, intent on convincing his boyfriend that hacking into WeTV in order to see the new season of a show that has yet to be released is actually not really all that illegal and not that big of a deal, only for him to stop as soon as he crosses the doorway.

The eyebrow he lifts in judgement towards Pang when he sees him sitting on the floor, surrounded by the books and documents scattered around him goes completely unnoticed by his boyfriend, who seems far too focussed on what he’s reading to pay any attention to what’s going on.

“Hmm… Hello ?” Wave asks, prompting Pang to finally look up at him and smile quickly in answer, before he looks back down on the sheet of paper in his hand. 

Trying to discern what could have caught his boyfriend’s attention so fully, Wave walks closer and upon looking down, he recognizes the documents in Pang’s hands to be the information on their junior students’ gifts that he had asked him to look up earlier. 

“Pang… what exactly is going on here ?” Wave asks, lifting his eyebrows once again when Pang finally looks up towards him. 

“Check this out, I thought Time’s gift was one of the best ones. But this guy… he can actually extract the information that is in your head and he ca--” Pang starts explaining excitedly, before Wave cuts him off. 

“Pang,” he says quietly, sitting down on the floor in front of his boyfriend, looking down at the years-old yearbooks that are spread around his boyfriend and contain all the information of past classes of Gifted students, as well as the sheets of paper from Wave’s research on the newest Gifted class. 

“Listen Wave, I know that you don’t really care about the younger students,” Pang starts to say, and Wave only shrugs his shoulders in answer. It’s true, after all. “But I think it’s important to understand their gifts, and I want to know more.”

“I can see that, but why ?” Wave wonders, truly puzzled as to why his boyfriend is bent on finding out all of this information about past and future gifted students. 

“It’s just… Don’t you find it strange ? That the school does everything they can to try and prevent us from interacting with each other ?” he asks, and Wave once again just shrugs his shoulders in answer. 

He’s never really thought about it before, and it doesn’t particularly bother him either way. He’d never planned on getting close to any other Gifted Students apart from his friends and Pang, after all. 

“Not really,” he finally replies softly, and Pang deflates at his answer. 

“I think something fishy is going on, and I want to find out what it is,” Pang says determingly, when Wave keeps silently studying him with his eyes. “And I know you and Ohm don’t agree, but I hate the idea of all of our efforts going to waste now. Aren’t you curious ? If it wasn’t for us fighting against the school, none of us would have gotten as close as we are today, and doesn’t that thought sit wrong with you ?”

Wave can’t help but nod in answer to this, because it truly does. 

He never imagined that he would meet this group of people and that he would actually make friends while in high school. But now that he has all of them in his life ? He has a hard time picturing a world where he would be without them, especially Pang. 

“I guess I just worry,” Pang continues after a few seconds. “If the school doesn’t want Gifted students to interact and if they’re trying to keep us apart, what does that mean for all of us ? I know you all have better things to think about, what with college being right around the corner, but I just…”

Pang trails off in the middle of his sentence, and Wave frowns at his words.

Why is Pang suddenly talking about college ? Wave isn’t sure what yet, but he knows that something else is bothering Pang.

Even after everything that happened last week, even after they won, his boyfriend still seems afraid, and Wave hates that he has no idea what he actually fears, or how to ask him about it.

He doesn’t have Pang’s way with words, and he’s never been more frustrated at himself and his inability to communicate properly. 

“Pang, do you really care that much about not knowing the other Gifted students ?” he asks after a few seconds, trying to understand. 

“No, I guess not really. It’s just that… Now that all of this has been solved, what happens ? What do we do ?” he asks in a small voice, and Wave frowns deeper at the answer. 

“We do exactly what you said earlier, we move on. We adapt to the new system, like you were telling me to do, and we move on with our lives.”

At the words, Pang’s breath catches in his throat and his head bows down. Wave tries to bend forward to catch his boyfriend’s eyes, but Pang evades him and Wave feels a tug in his heart at the thought that he’s hurt his boyfriend, without even knowing how he did it.

“Pang, what exactly is going on here ?” he questions quietly. 

He’s starting to think that this has little to do with knowing their juniors and fellow gifted students, and everything to do with… them. And the thought truly scares him. 

“It’s stupid,” Pang replies softly, and Wave moves a little closer to him before nodding his head, even if Pang can’t see him with his eyes still riveted on the floor. 

“Maybe, but tell me anyway.”

“Ever since all of us met, we’ve always had this greater evil to beat, and this fight that we had to all take on together. It’s what allowed us to grow this close. Hell, it’s half of the reason why you and I got together,” Pang trails off and Wave waits him out, still not fully understanding what his boyfriend is trying to say. 

“I know that all of us are going to evolve, and change. To move on. Punn has universities from all over the country that are already knocking on his door, Ohm is looking at a couple universities that offer entertainment degrees, Claire and Korn already know where they’re studying, and I know you have your eyes on a couple different universities with advanced engineering degrees….”

“That’s true,” Wave states. 

He thinks he’s starting to understand what Pang is trying to tell him, but he waits him out, wanting his boyfriend to voice out all of his thoughts to be certain that he’s not misinterpreting or missing anything. 

Talking has never been his strong suit, but if this is going in the direction he thinks it is, it’s never been more important for Wave to actually understand everything and say the right thing in return. 

“Well I’m not like you Wave,” Pang continues self-deprecatingly. “We came together fighting the director and fighting for our rights, and that’s what I’m good at. If we don’t have to fight anymore, then what do I have left ? Take that away from me, and I just go back to being a stupid kid from class 8 that has little to no future.”

At the words, Wave feels his throat tighten and his heart drop to his stomach. 

More used to being the one that needs reassurance in the relationship, Wave doesn’t quite know what to say to help his boyfriend. The only thing he does know right now, is that hearing Pang say those things about himself hurts. 

He has to find the right words, no other option is imaginable. 

“Pang,” his voice breaks on the word. “That’s not true. Thanks to you, that’s not true. You made sure that every student here has a fair chance at a future. So even if you weren’t a part of The Gifted class, which you are, this still wouldn’t be true. Your grades or class aren’t the sum of you, Pang. You’re so much more than that. And people, universities, will see that.”

At the words, Pang finally looks up at him and Wave sees a silent tear run down his boyfriend’s cheek, ripping Wave’s heart out on the way down. 

“Maybe you’re right,” he pursues. “But even if that’s the case, then what happens to all of us ? If we don’t have anything to fight against, and if the school tries to keep us apart, then where does that leave us ?”

“Together,” Wave immediately answers with finality.

He sees the surprise draw itself on Pang’s face, and fondness towards his boyfriend swells within him. 

God, Pang really has to be blind if he thought even for one second, that Wave would somehow leave him behind. Not when Pang is the best part of him in the first place.

“It’s true. We’ll all change and evolve,” Wave explains, hoping his boyfriend can read the sincerity in his words. “Every year, new computers come out and older models need to be updated to remain relevant, it’s the cycle of life.”

In spite of the heavy moment, Wave sees the amused and fond smile on Pang’s face, and he feels his cheeks heat up, realizing that he went back to using tech metaphors like he often tends to do when talking about greater ideas and subjects, which Pang teases him for every single time. 

“Point is,” he continues, clearing his throat. “We’ll change and we’ll evolve, but I was kind of thinking we’d be doing all of that together.”

Quiet follows his statement, and the longer Pang remains silent, the more doubt starts to overtake Wave. 

Had he read all of this wrong ?

Even after highschool, he never imagined for one second that he and Pang would part ways. Not after everything they’ve been through together, and not after how much happiness Pang has brought into his life since they got together, in spite of the circumstances. 

But does Pang actually see things the same way ? Maybe Wave had been too hasty in his assumptions.

“You really mean that ?” Pang finally asks, his voice shaking, and Wave feels relief rush through him, the hope shining in his boyfriend’s eyes at the words erasing the doubts that were plaguing him a second ago. 

Getting up on his knees from where he was still sitting cross legged on the floor, Wave crawls towards Pang, until he is close enough to cup his boyfriend’s cheeks in his hands. 

“Of course stupid,” he reassures him. “I can’t speak for the others, although I doubt they would disagree. But Pang… you and I ? I kind of thought we were a package deal. And I’m not going anywhere, not without you.”

At the words, Pang drops his head down until it’s resting on Wave’s shoulder, all of the tension leaving his body at once.

He can’t remember a time in his life where he’s ever talked more than he just did and he honestly doesn’t know how everything that just came out of him made an ounce of sense.

But even though he can already feel shame crawling within him at everything he just said, Wave knows that Pang is worth it. Pang will always be worth it. 

“A package deal, ok,” Pang finally replies from where his head is still resting against his boyfriend’s shoulder. “That sounds nice.”

Wave’s arms round his boyfriend’s frame, bringing him closer to him, in an intimate gesture that still feels somewhat foreign to him and yet feels so right at the same time. 

“Is that what all of this research was really all about ?” he asks after a minute of them hugging each other, and he feels Pang nod his head against his shoulder.

“So stupid,” Wave says fondly, and Pang knocks one of his hands against his chest, prompting him to laugh at the gesture. 

“For the record, I still think something fishy is going on, and that we should look into it,” Pang states when he lifts his head up from Wave’s shoulder.

Wave feels relief when he sees the tears have completely dried from his boyfriend’s eyes, and he recognizes that Pang seems more at ease than he has in days. 

“Ok, we can look into it,” he replies, and Pang looks at him in surprise. 

“You believe me ?”

“Of course. I trust your instinct, it’s proven time and time again to be correct in the past,” Wave declares.

Before he has the time to say anything else, Pang cups his cheeks and pulls him towards him, pressing a light kiss against his lips. 

“Can that something fishy wait until tomorrow though ?” Wave whispers when their mouths part for a second, and he feels Pang smile against his lips. 

“Why, what did you have in mind ?” his boyfriend asks teasingly. 

“Well…” Wave trails off, before he reaches for his boyfriend and pulls him closer to him, deepening the kiss they were sharing a few seconds ago. Right now, there’s really nothing else he’d like to do except make out with his boyfriend for a little while.

WeTV can wait, really. 

Tomorrow, they’ll have to dig deeper into Pang’s fear that something bigger is going on. Tomorrow, they’ll have to deal with college placement exams, finding a place to live, and all of the other issues that come with growing up, with evolving.

But for today, though ?

Today, they’ve just won a major battle against the director and the school. Today, he just wants to take a moment to be happy, and enjoy this moment of making out with his boyfriend like the teenagers they are. 

And all the rest ? Well, the rest can wait.

When it’s time to deal with all of this, they’ll deal with it like they have everything else, together.

[twistednuns]

October 2020

To buttress - increase the strength of or justification for; reinforce / to mollycoddle - to give someone too much care or protection. 

A letter from Nina. One of those weird internet connections. Not my first one, certainly not my last one.

Frank’s DnD backstory reads quite insightful/poetic to me as he has taken so much from his life. He might have done it without intent but it’s quite obvious to me. I’ve agreed to make a character sketch for him. I’m looking forward to the challenge but I’m also afraid of starting the project because obviously I want it to be perfect. Anyway so the other night I sat at his kitchen table and started drawing a facial composite for his goliath. Lots of sketches actually with him giving me some prompts and ideas. I think he loved watching me do my magic. What a peaceful moment.

Applause from some students. Simply for entering the room. They must really hate their English teacher, eh?

I’ve started forming the habit of drawing tarot cards on a full moon and new moon night. It helps me set an intention for the following two weeks. So on the first of October I drew the Queen of Wands to represent me and I’m loving it. It’s the perfect choice.

The fabric dyeing process for the Plot exhibition at Haus der Kunst

Inviting warmth into my life. Wearing appropriately warm clothing. Even hats. Drinking tea all the time. Turning the heating on even though it’s only September. Warm breakfast. Ayurveda inspiration. Hot baths. Thinking about buying an electric heating blanket for my bed.So far I’ve been taking a hot water bottle to bed with me pretty much every night.

Finding one of those Barts woolly animal hats online. This one came with tigers. And the seller sent me a cherry marzipan teabag. I enjoyed it on a cold and rainy Saturday morning.

FAQ: The Status of the Shits Women Have Left to Give

Reading the final scenes of Leigh Bardugo’s Shadow and Bone trilogy. I actually took the wrong bus one evening and ended up in front of one of the Pinakotheken instead of Villa Stuck. I must have been quite immersed. I’m very happy with the ending. I mean, the main character is walking around the house barefoot with the smell of fresh paint following her, her hair loose. What a wonderful image.

The wind blowing through the maple trees outside my living room window. I’m just going to quote a Wikipedia article to explain what happened next: The distinctive fruits are called samaras, “maple keys”, “helicopters”, “whirlybirds” or “polynoses”. These seeds occur in distinctive pairs each containing one seed enclosed in a “nutlet” attached to a flattened wing of fibrous, papery tissue. They are shaped to spin as they fall and to carry the seeds a considerable distance on the wind. People often call them “helicopters” due to the way that they spin as they fall. During World War II, the US Army developed a special airdrop supply carrier that could carry up to 65 pounds (29 kg) of supplies and was based on the maple seed.

Monsieur Wiener - I’ve paid him a visit when I had problems with my analogue Pentax camera!

I don’t know why but one dark Friday evening I slipped into the empty church at Odeonsplatz. I loved the peaceful atmosphere, the specific smell and the red church candles flickering.

I loved meeting Flo. We had such a great time, constantly joking, talking about this and that. Sailor Mercury, Hades, our family. His wink. He said that I had been exactly right but in the end apparently I wasn’t. It stung because he had been one of the rare guys in the last months (years, actually) I actually liked. Oh well. I guess it wasn’t meant to be after all. This is what the Universe had to say about it the other day: There are no accidents. If it’s appeared on your life’s radar, this is why: to teach you that dreams come true; to reveal that you have the power to fix what’s broken and heal what hurts; to catapult you beyond seeing with just your physical senses; and to lift the veils that have kept you from seeing that you’re already the person you dreamed you’d become.

Videos of Marno and Erin together. Also: she is so freakin’ beautiful as a marauder.

A surprise call from Ann-Katrin.

Sweet chai tea with milk.

The bright moonlight making the neighbours’ roof look like fish scales.

Forensic linguistics. I listened to a podcast episode about the Unabomber who was only discovered after his brother had noticed some stylistic irregularities in his manifesto. You can’t eat your cake and have it too.

Autumn leaves. Especially when it’s just the outer leaves turning red or yellow while the rest of the foliage is still green.

Sitting next to my ten-year-old student Ella on the bus on our way home on a Friday afternoon. She’s a very chatty Gemini and even though her self-importance and constant talking can be quite annoying I’ve kinda taken a liking to her.

A bunch of Alstroemeria in my dark green glass vase on the desk. A pretty image.

I still appreciate how beautiful my LuLuLemon thermos bottle is after all this time.

I should probably mention my new hair (extensions). Well, it looks absolutely gorgeous from the front. But I already know that I won’t get them again because you can see the glue in a few places, it’s quite hard, often painful and feels unnatural. And of course it’s much too expensive.

Baby carrots with King hummus.

My lunch dates with Becky.

Making my favourite sour thai curry. With rice noodles. And peanuts and cilantro. Yum.

Starting to work on a big soapstone sculpture. It’s going to be a hand! I love it when I have a group of calm students. It allows me to work on a project with them.

Making delicious pumpkin lasagna.

Visiting Manu’s mum. Making plum dumplings together. A fun afternoon in their kitchen.

A very cosy Sunday. Waking up at 5:30am. Watching Practical Magic in bed. Having a slice of pumpkin lasagna for breakfast. A sudden urge to get out, dressing up to keep out the cold, going out, early, streetlights still on. A walk through the woods. I loved how calm everything was. Being out before all the others had a chance to disturb the stillness with their kids and dogs and bicycles. Making lebkuchen. Lots of pecans. Having a nap. Writing a letter. Drawing weird mushrooms and bugs.

Autumnal smells. The moist smell of the forest ground, mushrooms, the smell of chimneys on a cold Sunday morning. Incense, gingerbread spices. Facial oil with lavender and iris. Roasted pecans.

A crafty day. I made a haunted house, some ghosts, spiders, bats, skulls and pumpkins out of paper.

Schlurp.

Meeting Frank in front of Residenztheater. The whole square was empty, he was the only person there. Waiting for me. Looking up to the opera roof. What an impressive building.

Talking about living life in story mode and action mode. I feel so stuck in action mode at the moment and desperately want to switch to story mode. Fantasy, magic, coincidences and meaning.

Spicy pumpkin recipes in the current issue of Schrot und Korn.

Rice and hazelnut milk as a bedtime treat.

Collecting autumn leaves. Chestnuts, acorns, feathers, beechnuts. Making a little autumnal alter with some crystals.

Thursday mornings. So much time for myself. Lots of tea, warm breakfast.

Treating myself to massages and nice facial creams and serums. Ya Yah is such a gifted person. I love her massages the most. The other day I also got a facial for the first time in many many years. It was nice to be wrapped in an extremely fluffy blanket. When the bright lights were on I could see different colours after closing my eyes and imagined being at a tropical beach. Unintentional ASMR sounds from the rubber gloves. Cosy.

Spicy winter tea in my new thermos bottle. The steam swirling up from my favourite mug (the moon phase mug I bough in Canada).

Buying cheap sparkly stickers, washi tape and stamps. Just because.

Pecan nuts are the BEST. Crazy delicious.

Porridge with coconut milk and mango for breakfast. Persimmons. Candles in the morning.

Gloomy twilight. The dark hour right before sunset/sunrise. Spooky black silhouettes against the ink blue or greyish white sky. Fairy lights. Memories of spending Halloween at Greyfriar’s Kirkyard in Edinburgh.

Finding yet another woolly hat for my collection. This time with pheasants.

Deltavenus’ Instagram feed.

Cutting open a fresh lime.

Happily singing along to my two favourite mantras (Jai Mata Kali / Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha) while making apple galette. Trying to harmonise in different ways.

A very surprising call from Claudia. She ended up in my kitchen, drinking half a bottle of wine.

A lovely Sunday with Sash. A walk through the English garden.   Watching the waterfall, falling leaves, backlit by the afternoon sunlight. Haus der Kunst. Getting in for free (art teacher bonus). I really liked the Michael Armitage exhibition and the enormous dyed curtains in the hall. Franz Erhard Walther’s Dust of Stars autobiography was impressive as well. I just ordered the book online; I’m looking forward to reading it. We also had a drink at Goldene Bar and enjoyed a late lunch at Baoz Bar.

Becky leaving me a lovely note and an English magazine on my desk.

Fink’s Knödelstube with Lena and Sash. We had 13 different kinds of dumplings. Heavenly delicious.

I came to realise that mornings are my favourite time of the day. I love gloomy, dark sunrises and my usual productivity highs.

Writing limericks with the kids.

Getting lost in the woods after dark which might not look like a good think at first glance but I uncovered a little secret - some bee hives I had never seen before!

A mild obsession with The Corrs’ song Old Town. I didn’t even know where it came from. It’s not a song I’ve ever actively listened to.

Learning about sesame plants. Another one of those plants I expected to look completely different.

I can smell mushrooms. On Saturday morning I went to the forest again early in the morning and whenever I would get a whiff of mushrooms and look down there they were.

Dog owners wishing me a good morning on my walk. Interestingly only men, the women tend to ignore me.

Wicked! - Modern Art’s Interest in the Occult. Learning about Leonora Carrington.

James’ chameleons in art class. He drew one representing each of his family members. He was the one licking a bat. Bold.

Buying far too many books. But I found out that Naomi Novik just published a new novel about a school of magic. And within two days I came across the writer Ursula K. Le Guin three times so I took it as a sign and got one of her books as well.

Prepare for the Roaring Twenties - The human desire to socialize will survive the pandemic.

A deep talk session with Jonathan about getting old, having children, self-worth, dating, obeying rules.

Finding my favourite pair of jeans on Kleiderkreisel for a fraction of the original price. And a baseball jacket with a Strange Ladies Society print on the back.

A walk in the forest before work. Something I’ve never done before I think. So good for my nerves, really.

The art of decision-making.

Joy praising me for my authoritative voice (effectively making the fifth-graders do what I want).

Decorating the classroom with the fifth-graders. I love my haunted house on the window pane, their lovely spiders, ghosts and bats. I should probably mention that our class mascot is a cute spider named Crawley so we’re all quite into spooky stuff. On the last day before the holidays we all showed up in costumes, played a Halloween quiz, listened to creepy music and I brought some candy, too. Fun!

Meeting the gang on Halloween. Japanese-inspired dinner and a board game.

[just-some-other-reviews]

Well, you know, when I watched Together With Me, I felt like I needed to watch Bad Romance, since it was the prequel/sequel of the series. But, gosh, I regret everything.

Bad Romance the Series is a school romance. When Yihwa joins her best friend Korn for his birthday, she meets Cho, a friend of his, who instantly falls in love with her. He will actively try to pursue her aftermath, but as she and Korn think he’s gay and interests in Knock, Korn’s partner, he would always be misinterpreted.

As always, I tried to put the less spoiler it was humanly possible, but some might have escaped, so please stay careful as you read.

Sincerely, I tried to watch this series twice before actually watching it because I got attached to the characters. The first scene is awful. It’s so bad that it didn’t motivate me to see the whole drama, and, I shouldn’t have gone any further.

What really annoyed me about the plot was that, as Together With Me, it had many storylines, but the airtime was unfairly disturbed between those stories (and maybe I’m thankful that Korn/Knock didn’t have that much screentime because, in all honesty, their storyline in Bad Romance wasn’t that good. It had way too much useless back and forth) and the story who got the more time (Cho/Yihwa) was slow and kind of boring. Maybe it’s because I watched Together With Me first, but it was so long. I was about to doze off because of its lengths, even though the two series had the same number of episodes. Also, I feel like they tried to make it entertaining by adding a little “thriller/mystery” side to it, but it couldn’t even save the drama according to me. I just was completely over it. Such thing gave this drama a few plot twists, but they were a bit weird, not really entertaining and kind of useless. But what really turned me off about this drama was ALL the drama. There was so much drama that it became ridiculous. All the storyline (and there were a lot of love stories) were filled with drama and miscommunication between the two people, which got really frustrating as time was passing because the viewer has a distant point of view so he sees everything happened, and I can’t understand how long it took them to solve certain problems. The only thing I appreciated in this drama was the ending, which was happy and pretty sweet. (SPOILER) For those who don’t want to watch this drama who clearly is of lower quality than Together With Me, at the end, Korn proposes to Knock. Now, you don’t need to watch it.

I think I already talked a little bit about the characters in my theory for how the Bad Romance universe could slightly make sense as a sequel to Together With Me, but I’ll probably repeat myself, so there’s no need to read that if you haven’t.

When I was watching Together With Me, I got smitten by Yihwa and her strong character, but in this season she was a huge let-down. She was still a strong female lead who stood up for her friends, but she got ten times more bitchy, and the fact that she wasn’t a bitch was one of the main reason why I liked her in Together With Me. The change in Korn’s and Knock’s personalities (for those who have seen the prequel first) was just really painful because it completely destroyed my lovely characters. And finally, the last lead (even though considering their screentime Korn x Knock aren’t really main characters, they had a case of Waterboyy the Series), Cho, was kind of sweet, but he didn’t manage to make this drama any better probably because the plot wasn’t great and the other characters’ personalities were bad. For what it is of the other characters, they were quite superficial and none of them (because there was a LOT of them) stood out. They all had brief roles, and needed to be memorable, but weren’t. To a certain extent, they were for the majority unlikable.

I think it’s of no use to continue to say bad things about this drama. I think it’s commonly accepted that the quality of this drama slowly drops as it progresses. The plot would be worth, after everything I said, a 6/10. The characters a 2/5. The tearjerker factor a 1/5.

[phoneismybf]

Until We Meet Again Ep. 3 Review

Hallo everyone back again with the #UWMA review, at this time we already reach the episode 3.

#UWMAep3 #UntilWeMeetAgain #UntilWeMeetAgainTheSeries #UWMAtheseries

I always fall for @perthppe, my God, he really good at sad scenes. But seeing him like that is hurting me though, hope you never get any bad situation na. I'm happy to see you smile and very energetic doing the campus activities. Once been there but we can't meet. My heart is already yours na. I always pray goodness for you.

Have you watch this episode? If you haven't yet. Here it is, UWMA Ep. 3 Engsub

Perth as Krit was a best friend of In in the past time. 5 person in a group. They never knew the reason of In's death. Seeing Krit cried like that and knew almost every details about In, Krit seemed to be sad so much, he was the most care friend. For everyone of you who read this, treasure them, keep every friend who are really care about you even it is just a small thing to be concerned. The good friends are them who always care to you no matter what problems or situations you have, know everything about you and accept every weaknesses you have. For me, I don't have this kind of friend yet, them whom I called as bestfriends, they don't know anything about me and never seen so much care to each other so I envy you, In.

Yes, Dean has been so emotional since yesterday. It was because of you Ai'Win. Look at Team, his cuteness is growing so much. I say don't ever do that pout again while eating. Can't hold my self to pinch them.

See, even Win's friend noticed something fishy of Win and Team already.

That trauma is disturbing, poor pharm. It must be very annoying. Yes, of course his trauma doesn't concern any anxiety. He never had any situation which effect him to be stressful. It just come and he never think deeply about this trauma or the cause of it because those dreams were never happen to Pharm in the recent life but will happen with good new scenes to replace those sad dreams.

Anxiety is a kind of condition which make you stressful, worry and scare of something and make you think about it often because it is disturbing you to have unwanted experiences or disagree about somethings. Others caused by anything that make you feel bad. This may lead to a suicidal. So please concern to people who has this kind of situation, may be they are need your help, or please to any of you who experience it, never think that you are alone or useless or no one care about you, you need to love yourself and appreciate your own life, no one care at you but you the one who know yourself so well so you can care yourself as long as you have positive mind and also remember to God, God always care to us even though we are a sinner. I can't believe that I said this but hopefully it helps you, keep on mind, positive thinking, do everything in a good way, sins are for us not other, we are the one who responsible to our own sins. Don't be so sad, I've been this strong to handle everything by myself, of course almost crazy but there are people who I really care, let them be happy, I always love to see people happy even though I'm not. So, don't you think you are alone, let's live our life and enjoy the rest of it. (yet, I'm hoping to fast forward it to the end)

Continue...

Dean finally got a chance to introduce himself well. What is the purpose of telling him that you are single? Fast man, even it is too fast though asking his number and call it directly to let him know that he can have your number right away. Yim... Smile and have a good dream Ai'Pharm. Hahaha he is so cute.

I don't know how he can imagine Manaow to tell him to flirt in early morning. Lol. Yet, make the chat conversation live like that is kind of cute. We can know Dean's expression while replying Pharm.

Not a bother Ai'Pharm, P'Dean just missing you, that's why he wants to pick you up and go to the campus together. Dean seriously a simple man, he only wanna have an omelet, or it refers to the dream?

Back again, I cannot stop smiling when see Perth here, miss you baby tiger. Little happiness. Good news Love by Chance Season 2 has confirmed to be made. Yay.... My curiosity about TinCan will be answered. And I can see Ae more.

So, the one who approaching first was In and he was so brave saying that he wanted to hit on Korn. Even his friends were scare at him and we knew that LGBT still an issue back then. Besides, Korn's father was a mafia though. He was so sure that Korn would fall for him. His willpower already that strong since the beginning. He was a kind of person who rule out a problem.

In who couldn't cook even he couldn't make an omelet, now in present time he reincarnate to a person who love cooking and can make any kind of food. Your wish came true.

Such an early bird man, too eager to meet your wify to be hah? Do people in Thai always be like this, fine with people who likes same gender? Is it because of they are already open with this so everything just feel usual? Some will say he isn't gay but later they get along either become close friend or real boyfriend. Like it is so easy to find one or to be accepted. Here in my country we totally hide it, some are openly proud but well you knew what the mouthes do. Hahaha such an unsupportive environment.

"don't need to be hurry. I can wait" Dean. Nice, positive thing he can be patient. Other thing, you have a purpose, haven't you? Stay long means full fill the empty space. You just know each other and you already dare to pat and fix Pharm's hair. Man... Drama always gives us fast flow. Well sometimes I'm not ready to clearly think, to clear the feeling and to make sure something.

"we should go "eat"" Pharm. Exactly what I'm thinking but Dean also gives the same question "go eat?" for Thai 'eat' has two meanings; eating something to fill the belly or eat you up on the bed. Dean's question means he thinks dirty than I thought. Pharm already cooked an omelet for you but you still asking, of course eating the food he made not have a f*ck in the morning, well both of your b*ner phase passed right? Don't even think to wake them up, you need to go at 7 AFTER EATING THE FOOD NOT EACH OTHER. LOL. "Before it get cold" Pharm. It is already cold, after waiting you had a shower with those nervous. Do you think it was short? Hell no it must be long waiting which made Dean look around the room.

This drama always end the episodes with a cry. I never think that the memories are that strong even it just a touch between the spoon-fork on the omelet. But the emotion come so strong like bomb cause him to cry and unconscious. Stressful things, I'll feel uncomfortable at the moment, too much mixing feeling. But Dean is always ready to care him. Sweet. I wanna see them talk each other about the dream. Hurry up, I'm curious but it was the end of the episode 3.

Waiting again... A week.... Hmm... I'm haven't seen the #TharnTypeEp8 though because people's comments were so emotional about it. Too much feeling every week. I need to calm down... Hahaha

Okay then.... See you again.

[emisfritish]

Our gift to the world - Episode 8

Summary: Episode codas of an established Pang/Wave in The Gifted Graduation. Episode 8- An important talk between two friends, a couple of realizations and the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Notes :  Yo, The Gifted really decided to help me with having not one, but two episodes where Pang/Wave don’t interact at all, didn’t they ? Nevertheless, I think this was an important one, and it allowed me to bring my boy Ohm again.

This is set at the same time as Pang is with the director, towards the end of his visit. 

Previous parts : Ep.1 /  Ep.2 / Ep.3 / Ep.4 / Ep.5 / Ep.6 / Ep.7

Series on Ao3 here.

- 

Wave looks down at his phone where Pang’s text has been sitting since he received it last night, and he sighs. 

“There is something weird that I need to check out, but I’m okay. I didn’t have time to tell anyone, but I’m not disappearing again… I just wanted to let you know so you wouldn’t worry. I don’t know if I’m allowed to still say this, but I miss you and I love you. I’ll see you later.”

Of course Pang had gone to check something out by himself again. Of course. His boyfriend really could be the most stubborn man on the planet sometimes. 

And since then, the five increasingly worried (and insulting, he admits) texts he’s sent back to his boyfriend have gone unanswered, except for the one Pang sent an hour ago reassuring him he was ok.

“At least he texted this time,” Wave mumbles to himself as he’s walking towards the room where The Gifted Class usually gather.

Progress. 

It’s less than Wave would like to see, but he’s aware that he himself is far from perfect when it comes to communicating when he’s lost in a research frenzy. At least, Pang is trying. That’s all he can really ask of him. 

When he walks into the room hoping to find the headphones he’d forgotten in his hurry to leave last time, he finds something else entirely. 

Ohm is sitting at the table in the same spot he was for Namtarn’s birthday, looking around him sadly. The boy looks so dejected and lonely, Wave can’t help but feel sorry for him. 

Lost in thought, it appears that Ohm didn’t even hear him come in, and it’s only when Wave clears his throat that he suddenly turns towards him. 

Seeing Ohm briefly look behind him before looking back down at his hands, Wave sighs.

“He’s not with me,” he says quietly, and Ohm shrugs in answer. 

“I don’t care,” he responds, and Wave has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

Obviously, he does care. Although Wave isn’t sure if the look meant Ohm had actually wanted to see Pang, or on the contrary wanted to avoid him at all cost. 

When had things become like this, exactly ?

Ohm and Pang have been inseparable since their very beginning in The Gifted class, and knowing how important the boy is to his boyfriend, Wave hates knowing that it’s another one of Pang’s relationships that is strained right now. 

When reassuring him after Time’s death and Korn’s injuries, Wave had told Pang that he wasn’t alone... But was that actually true right now ? 

The thought of Pang being all alone while facing everything weighs heavy on him, and he knows that they can’t keep going like that. He might have had some legitimate reasons to be angry, and part of him still is, but the idea of Pang feeling like he’s alone any longer is becoming intolerable. 

They have to fix this, all of them. And maybe fixing Ohm’s relationship with Pang is a good place to start.

Sighing, Wave makes his way to the table to sit next to Ohm, resigning himself to the fact that he’s going to need to have an actual conversation with Ohm. About feelings. 

He wouldn’t change his relationship with Pang for anything, not even in recent times, but god the things his boyfriend makes him do, even indirectly. 

“You know you’re going to have to talk to him eventually,” he announces, staring at Ohm although his friend won’t meet his eyes. 

“Says who ?” the boy answers petulant, and this time Wave doesn’t even try to stop himself from rolling his eyes at the words. 

“How old are you Ohm ? ‘Says who’, really ?”  he snorts, and Ohm turns to look at him, offended. “Says you, because you look miserable. I know you hate fighting with him and you miss him, and I know for a fact he does too.”

Ohm remains silent, and Wave takes a deep breath, trying not to snap at the boy. He knows that they all have a lot going on and that Ohm was just hurt, like the rest of them, but Wave isn’t really well-known for his patience either. 

“Look Ohm, I know you’re upset about the whole thing with Namtarn…” he starts to say, but Ohm cuts him off. 

“It’s not just that.” 

Wave looks at him patiently, waiting for the other boy to finish his thoughts, which prompts Ohm to sigh, looking miserable. 

“It’s not just about that time. It’s just that… We all used to be so close, and look at us now. I feel like everyone around me is falling apart, and the common denominator in all of this is Pang.”

Wave frowns at the words, not liking what Ohm is implying, although he doubts the boy actually means what he’s saying right now. 

“Ohm, that’s not fair and you know it. You know that’s not his fault.”

“Look what is happening right now ? Can you honestly tell me that Pang isn’t at least partially at fault ?” Ohm asks, and Wave shakes his head immediately. 

“He isn’t,” he affirms, dismissing the thought. “Or at least, he’s no more at fault than any one of us. The prime minister, the director, this school, Khun Lada, this whole messy situation… They’re at fault. We’re just all dealing with the consequences of all of that and trying to cope, Pang included.”

“Why are you even pushing this ? You’re mad at him too !” Ohm says defensively, and Wave sighs. 

Ohm has a point. He was mad at Pang, and he still is a little, if he’s honest with himself. He’s had some time to digest and think since Pang’s last visit to his bedroom, but he can’t help but remain a little angry at his boyfriend. At the same time, he’s starting to realize how true the words he just told Ohm are, and realize that maybe he wasn’t being entirely fair to Pang either. 

Pang messed up by keeping them out of the loop for so many things, and Wave can’t deny that the fact that his boyfriend trusts him so little hurts. But at the same time, he really was doing the best he could given the situation. Or at least, doing what he thought was best, and Wave knows that. 

They’ve all messed up in the past, himself more than anyone, and Pang has always forgiven him.

Plus, he misses his boyfriend. Fiercely.

Not being able to talk to him these past couple of weeks has been one of the worst experiences of Wave’s life, and he doesn’t want to deal with the pain anymore. He needs Pang, and he thinks Pang needs him too. They’ve always been stronger as a team than apart anyway, and it’s time they went back to that. 

“I was,” he finally admits. “But that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t get past it and try to move on together. You know how much he cares about us, about you.”

Ohm stays silent for a while, and although the urge to get up and run from the conversation is strong, Wave stays put, giving him the time to deal with all of his thoughts.  

“Look Pang messed up, we all messed up recently,” he continues when Ohm has been silent too long. “And I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. But you know that he didn’t mean to, and that in spite of everything, he’s trying to do everything he can to help and protect us. All of us.”

Finally, the other boy sighs, dropping his head against the table, and Wave once again shakes his head at the dramatics. 

“You’re right,” Ohm whispers, as if admitting Wave could be right about something actually pains him. “I know it’s not fair to blame it all on him, and I don’t even truly think it’s his fault, if I’m honest. It’s just… I feel like everything around me is crumbling down, and I have no idea how to hold everyone together anymore.” 

At the words, Wave smiles sadly towards his friends. 

“Then maybe you don’t,” he says, and Ohm looks at him, perplexed. “You don’t hold everyone together anymore, I mean.”

When Ohm looks ready to argue, Wave cuts him off, staring at him seriously.

“Look, I know what you’re feeling,” he says, thinking back to the moments in the past couple of months when he’s felt like he was losing all of his newly acquired friends. “But maybe in this case, things need to hit rock bottom before they can go back up. Maybe we actually need to fall apart so we can come back together stronger than before.”

Ohm looks at him in shock, and Wave understands why, not quite believing that such words could come out of his mouth either. 

“Do you really mean that ?” the boy asks doubtfully, and Wave shrugs in answer. 

It worked for him, after all. 

It wasn’t until he almost blew up his entire life and all of the relationships around him a couple of years ago, that he finally managed to get back up in the aftermath. It was only after that moment that he finally began to open up to the other Gifted students, to get closer to Pang...

He doesn’t know if he truly believes the words entirely. What he does know is that he loves Pang and he misses him. He knows that he actually cares about the people in The Gifted group, and that they care about him too, to some extent. They may all be falling apart right now, but that has to count for something.

“I’ll talk to him when he comes back,” Ohm finally says in a small voice, and Wave nods in satisfaction. 

Ohm might have pretended otherwise when he first entered the room, but Wave knows that he must miss Pang a lot too, although it can’t be as much as he himself does. 

“Good,” he says, getting up from his seat. “Then if that’s all for tonight, I’ll just get my headphones and leave. After this lovely talk, I need to be alone with my computer to remind myself of what an intelligent being is.”

Ohm rolls his eyes at Wave’s words, laughing softly. 

“You mean that you need to go and text your boyfriend so you can make up,” he teases him, and Wave glares daggers at him, but doesn’t deny it. 

“Shut up Ohm,” he mumbles, while grabbing his headphones and quickly escaping from the room before the other one can keep making comments. 

“Wave,” Ohm stops him just as he is reaching the door. He turns towards the voice, raising an eyebrow in question. “Can you help me retrieve deleted pictures from my phone ?” he continues in a small voice. 

Wave frowns at him, wondering where the request came from suddenly. 

“It’s just… I had a couple pictures with Pang…,” Ohm continues, his cheeks reddening slightly. 

Understanding draws on Wave as to what the other boy isn’t saying, and he snorts. God, his friend could be so dramatic sometimes, as if deleting their pictures would make him feel better. 

“I’ll help you later if you promise you’ll stop fighting with Pang,” he warns Ohm, and the other boy nods his head. 

Satisfied with the answer and the steps they’ve accomplished tonight, Wave quickens his steps to leave the room before the other boy can stop him once again. 

Once he safely reaches his bedroom, he sits down on the bed and pulls out his phone, staring at Pang’s text for a few minutes. Maybe Ohm was onto something when he mentioned texting his boyfriend.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, he quickly types and sends three consecutive messages, before abruptly dropping his phone on the nightstand and laying down in bed, ready to ignore it for the rest of the night.

He doesn’t know when Pang will see the messages or if he’ll answer, but maybe it’s time he starts taking his own advice and tries to fix things too.  

To Pang : ‘I hope you realize that when you come back, I’m going to kill you for disappearing that way. Knowing you, you’re probably dead in a ditch somewhere without me to help you.’

To Pang : ‘But come to my room when you’re back, please.’

To Pang : ‘I miss you and I love you too, idiot.’