#don't do bean's method

[askteamhooligans]

To Everyone, as someone who suffers from insomnia and has to take sleeping medicine that sometimes doesn't work. How often do you guys have trouble sleeping, and what do you do to help fall asleep?

Fang: "Everyone's sleep schedule is different, just hope those pills actually kick in for ya or anything that can work will get you some good rest."

Bean: "say Corsen how do you-"

Corsen: " UHH AAA NEXT QUESTION PLEASE SORRY!"

[celesse]

Hello! I wanted to ask this question and I hope it doesn't come across as rude, but I've noticed that you have several of your designs at hot topic. I saw the "Toby's beans" design in store and noticed HT wants a little less money for your design from them compared to the one on your personal store. I was wondering if it's due to HT being a "big chain" and listing prices this way because they are a Corp or if there is a quality difference. I've been eyeballing some of your designs and I'd 100% rather buy directly from you to support you (even more if the quality is better) but I couldn't help but wonder what the difference, if any, would be!

Hi there, no worries! I'm happy to explain the differences.

The lower pricing for HT has several contributing factors, the biggest one being that they can do the kind of volume I can't do myself. HT also stocks standard cotton shirts that are printed with standard plastisol screen printing (this kind of printing gives prints that sort of light plastic feel). The print is still nice and the shirt itself is fine, and all these things allow for a lower price point.

The ones in my artist shop are premium quality shirts (usually Bella Canvas) and printed with discharge screen printing, which is a method that basically dyes the print into the garment so you don't feel it at all. The fabric is really soft, so that plus the no-feel print makes for a super comfy shirt. It just comes at a higher price point.

Buying direct is always the best option if you can, as I get higher profit for each direct sale, but buying from HT shows them that my designs are desirable. So either way helps me out, it's just up to the individual customer on what kind of price point or level of quality they want :)

I hope that helps!

[bitchapalooza]

Random little HCs

Sanji doesn't drink coffee, or caffeine in general, often because it makes him shake + causes him anxiety. And if he drinks it before bed, it usually makes his nightmares worse.

Zoro strictly never drinks coffee/caffeine. It doesn't have much to do with shaking or anxiety, he just grew up being told it was really bad for him and was thus banned from having any. He prefers booze or uncaffeinated tea. Or tea with booze in it. Booze with tea in it. Booze.

When Luffy says he likes coffee he's not talking about the drink, he's talking about the unbrewed beans.

Nami's favorite childhood meal is a piece of bread with jam on it. Not toasted, just a slice of bread with a dollop of jam. Or if she's feeling extra homesick, bread with jam and sprinkles. It makes her incredibly happy when Sanji brings out a whole plate of bread with jam. Yeah she likes the finer things as much as anyone else but just like the tangerines, this little treat reminds her so much of Bellemere and Nojiko and when things felt simpler.

There's a first aid kit stashed in every possible place on the Sunny and it's a precaution put in place specifically because of Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.

Usopp made Zoro a prosthetic glass eye but he doesn't really use it—one reason is because his eyelids are too lax now so even when he's putting an effort into opening that eye, it still sags. Another reason is because Usopp thought he was being funny and made the pupil into a little heart and it's too embarrassing to use. Nami makes him wear it when they're supposed to be undercover and, again, it's so embarrassing lmao

Usopp learned ventriloquism when he was little and Zoro knows how to do it, too, so together they like to freak Brook, Nami, and Sanji out making them think the ship is haunted. They don't do it to Chopper though because last time they did they had to buy him a whole new set of glass vials.

Usopp once taught Chopper how to use clay and now everyone has personalized (misshapen) mugs (that they can't actually drink out of).

When a cold is going around the ship Brook will pretend he also came down with it so he doesn't feel left out.

Even with loaded dice or other methods of cheating Zoro would still somehow lose.

Nami talks in her sleep, Sanji sleep walks/talks and kicks in his sleep, Zoro only snores when he's sleeping on his back and he grinds his teeth (should really be using a mouth guard), Robin shifts a lot in her sleep, Luffy occasionally sleep talks but for the most part he snores.

[cosmic-slumber-party]

Training with Sanemi Shinazugawa

As his tsuguko

CW: Swearing, mentions of injuries

💨 As his tsugoku, you go through many hours of very tedious training. Of course, you can take it though, Sanemi would not have chosen you if you couldn't. This doesn't change the fact that you are always exhausted by the end of the day. Some days you don't even finish until morning.

💨 He is very hard on you, to the point you think he may hate you sometimes, but he just wants you to survive. If at the end of the day you come home, he has done his job.

💨 Sanemi is the hardest on you after he comes back from a mission, as he is reminded just how ruthless demons can be.

💨 When you get back from your own missions, Sanemi makes sure that you get the best care at the butterfly mansion. He will go a little easier on you after you have recovered, but it doesn't last long. He doesn't want you to keep getting injured by demons, so he needs to go even harder on you.

💨 If you come home completely unscathed, he becomes very proud. He doesn't show it though.

"No injuries this time? Must have been a weakass demon."

You know this means he's relieved.

💨 He may have a little say on what your next assignments may be. If they are ever suspiciously easy, you just know it was that stoic and aggressive Hashira.

💨 If you ever come home very injured, he beats himself up thinking about where he went wrong with training. As you get better, he comes up with different methods to help you defend yourself better. At first you thought he was punishing you for not being good enough, but with time you learned that this was his way of protecting you.

💨 You have had a couple Hashira come up to you asking if you want to be their tsuguko instead. Like Mitsuri and Tengen. Whenever Sanemi hears this, he immediately gets pissed off.

"Oh come on L/N! Come back with me and be my tsuguko. We can eat sweets together. I promise I won't be mean to you like Shinazugawa."

At the Love Hashira's words, Sanemi scowls. "Like you could train a tsuguko. L/N needs training not sweets. What are sweets going to do to a demon?"

You continue training, but do notice that the next day someone has left some red bean mochi in your room.

💨 Going on assignments with one another is always fun and stressful. He knows he can let you do your thing, but he always keeps an eye out for you.

💨 Overall, he is a great trainer and person. After some time, you both consider each other close companions. Both putting your own lives on the line for the other.

[miltonthoughts]

Had a few headcanons/ideas about Ford taking care of child!reader as his own kid and then Stan having to take care of child!reader after the portal incident- here ya go!

Inspiration for this post was from this! And the timeline was from this post here!

-

Pre-Portal incident

• In 1974, Ford found you abandoned outside his cabin one night when you were a baby. He didn’t know who your parents were but was reluctant to take you in.

• Ford soon realized that he enjoyed taking care of you, as it made him feel less lonely and more loved. He felt even happier when you started to speak and try to communicate with him, even though most of your words were just baby talk. He was proud of you, though.

• A few years passed, and you were now 8 years old. Ford couldn't have been prouder. He was happy to call you his child, especially when you referred to him as a dad. You didn't have to, after all, he had told you that he wasn't your biological father, but you didn't care and simply loved him.

• He will tell you stories of his adventures while searching for anomalies, and you'll be amazed by his tales of capturing and documenting them. He even shows you his journals so you can see the visuals of the anomalies.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was eating jelly beans with a side of popcorn and watching sci-fi movies. It's comforting for you and Ford as a family bonding time.

• He calls you his "jelly bean" too, which makes you a little embarrassed but you don’t mind it at all.

During paranoia period

• Ford started to get more paranoid and a bit unhinged that you couldn’t understand at the time, you were a kid after all. He will reassure you that he was fine but you can tell something was off with your dad.

• One night, you had a night terror. Ford immediately came to your side when you wouldn't stop screaming and thrashing your limbs aggressively. You don't remember what you dreamed about, but Ford seems to know, and he didn't look pleased.

• You started to feel more lonely after Ford had started to hang in his basement. You weren’t allowed down there so you had to wait for hours for him to come up. You miss him a lot.

Portal incident

• One day, a man who looked like your dad arrived, except he had a mullet and a rougher appearance. It turned out that he was your dad's twin brother! You were briefly introduced to your uncle before Ford told you to stay put upstairs while he and his brother, Stan, went down to the basement. You frowned at that.

• Oh, but you couldn’t help yourself! You had to know what your dad was doing, more so after you heard a lot of yelling between the two adults.

• As you got down into the basement, all you saw was your dad ascending towards a glowing blue light. You froze, you didn’t know what to do before screaming and running after him. Stan looks behind him towards you before the portal closes and gets wrecked in the process.

• You passed out due to the overwhelming sensation after the portal closed. Soon, you woke up on the couch and heard a commotion in the kitchen. At first, you thought it was your dad, but as you peeked out, it was your uncle Stan, and he looked wrecked.

• It was a difficult situation for Stan to explain to you why your father wasn't here at the moment. You couldn't comprehend why your dad had left you behind.

• Stan soon starts to realize that you don’t exactly remember how your dad exactly "left". Your memories were too fuzzy when remembering about the portal. Believing it was a dream or another night terror you had again.

Teen years period

• The year was 1987, and you were now 13 years old. Your uncle, Stan, had raised you since you were 8 years old. Your memories about the incident were still fuzzy to you, especially more when you tried to remember about your dad, Ford. It's almost like he didn’t exist in the first place.

• Uncle Stan tried his best to take care of you, though his parenting methods were questionable. Still, he had a good heart and tried teaching you the hardest he could.

• He taught you some boxing lessons too so you’ll be able to defend yourself after you've been picked on by a few bullies in town. You appreciated your Uncle Stan wanting the best for you.

• You did once accidentally called Stan, dad one time. He didn’t let it up and embarrassed you about it for a whole month. Didn’t mean it made him cry a little.

• Whenever you question Stan about Ford, he’s reluctant to give you answers. Sometimes, he would change the topic when the question was too much to bare to answer. You didn’t want him to get upset so you dropped the subject entirely.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was making new fuzzy creatures for the mystery shack he hosted during the days. It was fun and made you laugh when Stan would give voices for your creations you made.

-

That’s all I got! I will make a part 2 when the reader is an adult and their reaction towards when ford comes back too!!

[citrineandrosmarin]

Psephoi (Greek Alphabet) Divination

AKA Grammatomancy

What is it?

So there were many forms of divination in classical Greece, and one was the drawing of lots - having a collection of some kind of tokens (sticks, stones, beans, etc.) with a certain symbol on them that one would draw by chance, and each symbol would have a certain meaning. This is a type of kleromancy.

The Greek Alphabet Oracle is such a method, whereby you draw a token that has a letter of the classical Greek alphabet. Each letter corresponds to an oracular phrase (chresmoi) that, in Greek, starts with that letter. It is also known as the Psephoi Oracle because psephoi is the word for a pebble that was used for both divination and voting purposes.

Although it seems that the right phrase was initially obtained by throwing knuckle bones (astalagoi) and adding indicated numbers for a numerical value that was associated with a letter, most people today just use pebbles/stones/etc. with the letter itself on them, much like Norse runes. This sort of divination was under the domain of Hermes and Apollo.

Where does it come from?

The stone inscriptions that are the source of this method of divination were found in public spaces across several places, most notably in Lycia. The inscriptions were rediscovered and written about by German archaeologist Johannes Nollé. Many of the different sets of inscriptions were the same or similar. One in Olympos, Lycia, had different versions of some phrases and I've included them as alternatives here.

Resources:

Omens and Oracles: Divination in Ancient Greece by Matthe Dillon, pages 272-273

The Oracles of Apollo by John Opsopaus

How Do I Make A Set?

You will need:

The psephoi (Those glass pebbles for aquariums or small stones or pebbles or lil wood discs or whatever you want to make it out of)

A marker of some sort

A container to keep them in

They're very easy to make, just write a letter of the classical Greek alphabet on each psephoi you're using. Some may look similar when rotated so make a note of those and make sure you can tell which is which. I put a small dot at the bottom like you might find on polyhedral dice.

How Do I Use The Set?

Easy!

Method 1: Put the psephoi in a container, mix them up as you ask your question and pull one out without looking. Repeat if desired.

Method 2: Put the psephoi in a container, ask your question, shake them around until one or more jump out of the container.

The Alphabet and Interpretations

*In the spirit of keeping the first letter of the phrase the same as the letter you draw, John Opsopaus in his book includes his own version of the phrase. I will include these also as Alt, and when I have altered them myself they or the word will be in italics.

**Some have alternative versions that come from the Olympos site in Lycia. They are included with a [O].

***Some of the interpretations are from Opsopaus' book, some are others' that I found, and others are my own interpretations.

Α - Alpha

"The god [Apollon] says you will do everything successfully"

Alt: All things you will achieve with good fortune

Interpretations: You'll do great! You will succeed. Projects will go well. Everything is fine. Don't doubt yourself. Complete success. Good luck. Favorable Outcome. Best outcome you can ask for.

B - Beta

"Wait a little; it is not opportune for you"

Alt: Briefly wait, the time is not right for you

Interpretations: Try another time. Now is not the right time. Wait a little and you will receive a better outcome. Be patient. With a delay, the time will be right. Timing is everything. There is a time for everything and everything has its season. It would be to your advantage to wait for the opportune moment. Wait for the perfect moment. Don't act with haste. Slow down.

[O] "You will have Tyche [Fortune] and the Pythian [Apollon] as a helper."

Alt: Both Apollon and Fortune will bring you aid

Interpretations: You will receive help, particularly prophetic help. Call on Apollon for help, he will assist you. The theoi will help you if you ask. Ask for help. You are at a critical point, but if you are fortunate, Apollo the Far-shooter will help you if you call on Him. Even with luck, the God will only assist; ultimate responsibility is yours. With proper acts and choices - and a bit of luck - you’ll be successful. You will get help as long as you put in the work. Rely on and call on the help of the gods, however it may come. Help will come from unexpected, distant or indirect sources when you need it most.

Γ - Gamma

“Gaia will give you the ripe fruit from your labors”

Alt: Gaia gives you the results of your efforts

Interpretations: You will get the results that you have worked hard for. You'll get what you have earned. You reap what you sow. Your efforts will be rewarded. You’ll get what you deserve. Anything done previously will now return a result back to you, whether good or bad. Everything that happens is a direct result of everything that was already done. Past events and actions determine future ones. Usually a good omen of success.

Δ - Delta

"Desist from dreadful deeds, so that you avoid harm."

Alt: Dodge the dreadful deeds, avoiding harm.

Interpretations: Avoid matters that are terrible, fearful, or uncanny. Beware of the excessively wonderful, skillful, or clever. Don’t commit terrible deeds. Stay away from strange circumstances and affairs. Don’t make bad choices for the sake of expediency. In these ways you may escape harm.

[O] "In customs, inopportune strength is weak"

Alt: Drive ill-timed is weak before the rules

Interpretations: Ill-timed force will be ineffective; act with precision; timing is everything. Knowing where and when to strike is more important than strength. Blind conformity to customs is spineless; overly strict adherence to rules is self-defeating. Unreasonable or undue force will defeat itself; a tyrant must fall. In all things, follow the process and protocol. Slow down, form a strategy, and work with the system. Don’t force matters. Work smarter, not harder. Be responsible, not reckless, with the power you have. Knowing where and when to strike is more important than strength.

Ε - Epsilon

"You desire to see offspring from proper marriages."

Alt: Eager art thou for right unions' fruits.

*Desire here being "Eraô" which could also be 'love' or 'are in love with'

Interpretations: You think you know what’s right. You think you know and want the results of a union or action. Reflect on what you’re hoping for. What do you think you want? How do you think you will get that? You think you know the right/best way to do things. What you think is right and successful isn’t what is actually right/fitting. We want to see the results from acceptable convergence of actions. We can only act within the boundaries of what is proper. Worry about yourself, stay in your lane and don’t meddle in the affairs of others.

Ζ - Zeta

"Flee the great storm lest you somehow be harmed"

Alt: Zealously avoid the harmful storm!

*Harmed here can also mean hindered

Interpretations: There’s a storm coming, get out of the way. Difficult and dangerous situations are coming, stay out if at all possible! Sometimes the storms just happen, but other times, we cause them. You will only be harmed or hurt by getting involved in what comes. Prepare to be hit by the storm. Avoid raging storms of any kind; save your energy for when it can be effective. Escape from the chaos or controversy. Sometimes flight is wiser than fight. Go with the flow. Don’t get involved in conflicts.

Η - Eta

"Bright Helios [Sun], who watches everything, watches you."

Alt: Helios, all-seer, watches you.

Interpretations: You can’t hide. You’ve got the spotlight on you. Act nobly and openly, and you will have spiritual blessing and protection. This is not a time to be secretive or hidden in your works. Anything in the dark will be thrust into the light. Anything secret will be revealed. Anything made in oath or promise will be enforced. Keep your promises and be genuine, and you will be cared for.

Θ - Theta

"You have the gods as assistants and defenders."

Alt: Thou hast gods as comrades and as aides.

Interpretations: You have divine assistance at hand. The theoi will aid and defend you. Call on the gods for help, and they will be there for you. Have confidence! Your deities have your back and are guiding you. You are on the right path.

[O] "You have the gods as assistants of this path."

Alt: Thou hast gods as helpers on this path.

Interpretations: You’re on the right path, under divine care. You’re on the right path, so stick to it and stay on it. This is what you are meant to be doing. Commit yourself to the inquired matter and approach, and you will have success and protection, insofar as it is possible to do so. You still have to do the work though. The gods will bless those who honor them, and help those who help themselves. Heading out on your path, remember to be grateful, appreciative and respectful.

Ι - Iota

"There is sweat, it excels more than everything."

Alt: It is through sweat that you will succeed.

Interpretations: Although you are working hard, you will accomplish everything. Hard work is the surest means of success. The oracle recommends elbow grease. Toil, work, and labor is required in order to succeed. Keep working, and success will result, no matter the cost. Just focus on the work, don’t worry about the outcome. Giving up is not an option.

Κ - Kappa

"To fight with the waves is difficult; endure, friend."

Alt: Contests with the waves are hard; endure

*'Endure' can also mean 'delay'

Interpretations: The problems of life will come and go, but will never fully go away. Either wait for the currents to be favorable, or find a way to ride them. You might be caught in a tough situation with no clear way forward. Don’t fight it; endure.  Wait when possible, persevere with care. Work with the sea rather than against it. Don’t give up; sink or swim. If you’re going through Hell, keep going.

Λ - Lambda

"Make an end of grief; hereafter expect joy."

Alt: Leave off grief, and then await delight.

Interpretations: You have grieved long enough. Although you have been sad, you will be happy soon. Stop worrying, and prepare to be pleased. Turn your attention from your pain to the things that give you joy. Pain will yield to happiness. You have been through dark times, but the sun will rise again.

[O] "The one passing on the left bodes well for everything."

Alt: Luck comes from unexpected places.

*The left is traditionally the sinister side. The left is also associated with the unconscious, lunar mind.

Interpretations: A promising sign comes from an unpromising quarter. Whatever looks bad at the start will turn out well in the end. A blessing in disguise. Or, at least, whatever ill omens there are are not intended for you. Pay attention to your intuition, dreams and expressions of your subconscious.

Μ - Mu

"You press on in vain; don’t hurry; it’s not useful."

Alt: Make no haste; in vain you press ahead.

Interpretations: Don’t keep busy at what you are doing, it’s pointless. Haste makes waste. You are rushing around and working hard, but randomly and thoughtlessly. You are putting a lot of energy into wasting time. Pressing on now will be futile; wait for a better time.

[O] "It is necessary to be weary with toil, but the change will be admirable."

Alt: Mandatory toil: the change is good.

Interpretations: Through toil and distress a change will be made for the better. Hard work will result in a good return. It is your fate to be weary with labor, but there will be a beautiful or noble transformation. You are obliged to work hard, but the change will be good. Circumstances will cause distress, but there will be a good change or exchange. Pain will force an admirable change. You will need to work hard.

Ν - Nu

"Now the fitting opportunity for everything arises"

Alt: Now springs forth the fitting time for all.

Interpretations:

Now is the suitable time for anything; the right time begins now. You are entering into a harmonious season, a time when everything is well ordered and bears fruit. An appropriate opportunity or profit is at hand; it is developing. Orderly profits are growing. The most suitable situation is now. Seize the moment; you can accomplish anything! You are entering a synchronistic period when anything is possible.

[O] "A victory-bearing gift enwreathes the oracle"

Alt: Nike’s gift enwreathes the oracle

Interpretations: Something will be given (to you, by you, or from one to another) that brings victory with it and will crown this oracle. The import seems to be that this gift will be the answer to the question asked of the oracle. So, for example, if the querent asked when something will happen, the gift is the sign that it’s immanent.

Ξ - Xi

"The seasonable fruit of Deo the golden awaits you"

Alt: Xanthic Dêô’s ripened fruit awaits.

Interpretations: The fruit that is due now is available for you. The ripe grain is yours for the cutting. The gifts of the goddess are yours for the taking. She has brought you the profits, results, or returns that are due. The goddess Dêô (a name for Demeter, the Grain Mother) has brought you some benefit, so perhaps you should accept the gift.

[O] "There is no fruit to take from a dry shoot."

Alt: Expect no fruit from withered shoots.

Interpretations: Don’t wait too long to harvest or to take your profit. You can’t get blood from a turnip; you can’t get water from a stone. Don’t polish a turd. You won't get something from nothing. Being bitter and angry is not the way to go about things. Don’t keep trying to pull water out of a well that is empty, and know when to let go. Do not expect more from something than it can give. You’re on a dead-end path. Things have failed before they’ve even begun. Better to start over from scratch or look elsewhere entirely. Stop asking questions you already know the answer to: You already have an answer. The gods may be unwilling to talk at this point, so stop bothering them.

Ο - Omicron

"There are no crops to be reaped that were not sown."

Alt: Out of sight are crops that are not sown.

Interpretations: You reap what you sow. You will get nothing because you have given nothing. If you do not work now, there will be no reward later. If you want apples, plant apple seeds. What we spread about comes back to us. What goes around comes around. You must plan ahead in order to achieve anything. There will be no return if you do not invest. What has not been created cannot be destroyed. What has not been born cannot die. Warning against laziness, procrastination, and sloth. That which was inquired about will not happen because of what was not done. A warning that you need to work and prepare for the future in order to have success.

Π - Pi

"Completing many contests, you will seize the crown"

Alt: Passing many tests, you’ll win the crown.

Interpretations: If you persist in your struggles, after many trials you will succeed. Perseverance through adversity. Keep striving and victory will come. After much competition, you will emerge the winner. Don't give up, face adversity! Persistence will give you your rewards, and do not be afraid to use your talents. Whatever rewards, station, acclaim, or prize you want, it will eventually be yours, but you have to keep fighting for it. Success may not be immediate, but a gradual process of refinement instead that leads to fulfillment of desires

Ρ - Rho

"You will go on more easily if you wait a short time"

Alt: Rest awhile; you’ll go more easily.

Interpretations: If you will hold your ground for only a short time, you will be able to proceed (more easily or with greater cooperation). You’ll live more easily if you take a break. You will go faster by waiting than by going now; on the other hand, delaying too long may provoke reckless action. By standing fast you live recklessly. By remaining where you are, you live life thoughtlessly.

Σ - Sigma

"Phoibos [Apollo] speaks plainly, 'Stay, friend.'"

Alt: “Stay, friend,” Apollo plainly says.

Interpretations: Neither advance nor retreat; wait or hold your ground, as appropriate; the best action is inaction. Don’t travel. Stay firm; don’t let yourself be swayed. The gods want to inform you to wait for more information before you make any decisions. In this time, relax, and let the signs come to you. Things will resolve on their own or get to a point where it is better to act than now. Respond only when it is appropriate to do so, which is not now.

Τ - Tau

"You will have release from the present circumstances."

Alt: Take release from present circumstance.

Interpretations: Your misfortune will come to an end. You will be given a way out of present circumstances. You are between a rock and a hard place, but you will get out. All your mishaps will come to an end. Leave present events behind. If you have been having good luck, that too may be departing.

[O?] "You will have a parting from the companions now around you."

Alt: There will be a departure from the companions now around you.

Interpretations: You will be separated from some of the people in your life. This may be an unwelcome parting from friends or a welcome release from enemies; in either case they are now around you. This may also mean a growing apart or forced separation of a person from his or her family, peers or fellow travelers on the path. Soon, people in your life might not stay the way they are. You might grow apart or distance or travel might force you away. Be wary of this, and act accordingly. Consider that 'companions' could also be interpreted as personifications (e.g. in the way Love and Strife are personified) so it could mean a change of circumstances. The people, resources, and situations you’re with now are not what you’ll always be with.

Y - Upsilon

"This wedding is not yours; do not labor in vain"

Alt: Useless toil: this wedding isn’t yours!

Interpretations: The person whom you are trying to woo will not be yours. This romance or relationship will not be permanent. Give it up. Be sensible. You have not made a good choice of someone to pursue. Do not pretend that you are interested in marriage. Don’t pursue the partnership (of any kind); you are wasting your time. The Oracle advises you to abandon some alliance or union that you have been pursuing.

[O] "The affair holds a noble undertaking."

Alt: Undertaking fine is held by deed

Interpretations: There is some issue to be resolved, or some action is under consideration; it involves high-mindedness, either in commitment, deed, or professional pursuit. The oracle may tell us that the affair is admirable due to this noble element, or that the situation may guide us to seek the appropriate noble undertaking or profession. The hero’s quest. On the other hand, the oracle may mean that the situation hinders this fine undertaking. Thus you should try to understand the situation: does it demand an excellent undertaking or impede it? Take the high road.

Φ - Phi

"Plant! For Deo will nourish everything beautifully."

Alt: Forthwith plant! For Deo fosters well.

Interpretations: Plant your crops or vegetable garden, and Demeter will make them grow well. Start your project, for the goddess will bring it to fruition. She will care for it, and it will come out very well. Plant your seeds (of any sort), and the goddess will help you to cultivate them productively.

[O] "Having done something carelessly, you will thereafter blame the gods."

Alt: Faultily you act, and blame the gods.

Interpretations: Take responsibility for your actions (or inactions); don’t blame the gods (or the universe, or fate, or society, or nature) for your own failings, for your thoughtless or careless actions. Something is going wrong, and you may be trying to blame other things than the cause of the problem. Don’t resort to pointing fingers. The Gods will help you if you do not take out your anger on them or others needlessly.

Χ - Khi

"Rejoicing, press on!’ Zeus himself says this."

Alt: "Happily press on!" says Zeus himself

Interpretations: Charge ahead! Keep working with joy in your heart. Zeus urges you forward, even commands you! Act with the confidence that you will fare well and be safe. With joy, hasten the matter or yourself forward. Lean hard on it, but stay happy.

[O] "Succeeding, wanderer, you will fulfill this golden oracle."

Alt: Happy end fulfills this golden word.

Interpretations: “Golden” may be a metaphor for rich, noble, excellent, etc. This admirable oracle will be fulfilled by you attaining your ends, or a mere chance meeting could constitute the golden event. Rejoice, you will succeed! Luck is on your side, and by mere chance, things might fall into place. The answer is positive, and you might be pleasantly surprised at all the riches that the world gives you in addition to your solution. A favorable result is indicated - but even more subtle success is at hand.

Ψ - Psi

"You have this righteous judgment from the gods."

Alt: Proper is this judgment from the gods.

Interpretations: This oracle refers to collective judgment rather than individual judgment. This implies that the majority of the gods concur in this judgment, and that this judgment is appropriate, fair, and righteous, though there is no implication that the result is that desired by the querent. Accept it and move on. Truth will be brought forwards, so be careful in your actions. The Gods are watching, and they will be fair, honest, and unforgiving to those who deserve it. This includes those who might be harming you, as well.

Ω - Omega

"If you take unripe fruit, it won’t be useful."

Alt: Otiose the fruit that’s plucked unripe.

Interpretations: If you pick your fruit too soon, you will have a bad harvest. More abstractly, too early grasping of the fruits of your labor (whether the taking is voluntary or necessary) will yield a poor return; the rewards will not be suitable for their purpose. Don’t be impatient, or the results will be inferior. Don't act rashly or hastily. Don't jump the gun. The time is not yet right to take advantage of the matter. Taking action now will lead to uselessness, worthlessness, and difficulty. At best, this letter indicated to just stay on the course and wait for the matter to develop further before inquiring again.

We're at the end now! (Phew!) I might make a google doc with the alphabet - maybe even make it so you can suggest your own interpretations or even alternative phrases for some of the more difficult ones. In the meantime I hope this has been helpful!

[sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts]

𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝟑𝟔𝟎 | 2

part 1 - Tinder

screencaps and gifs: Pinterest

Pairing: dark!Joel Miller x Fem!reader

Warnings/tags: MDNI 18+, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, NON CON, DUB CON, Drinking, food, flirting, DRUGGING, KIDNAPPING, talks of true crime, Degradation, Praise, Humiliation, fear, panic, anxiety, spiting, oral M, cum play, Blowjob, throat fucking, threats, Physical Violence, Bondage (rope), THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Summary: A Tinder date goes very, very wrong, but you always consider yourself prepared for such situations. or so you think

WC: 2.8K

For notifications follow - @sinful-mind-joyful-fics

A/n: I tried to step out of my comfort zone a little with this. It's based on a post I saw while doom-scrolling on this app from @blondwhowrites. She had this amazing post about wanting to see more readers who fight and don't stop. They don't lose hope, they go into survival mode, and I just hope I do this idea somewhat justice. AND IT GETS JUICY in this part....

The pounding in your head was relentless, each beat echoing like a drum inside your skull. As your vision slowly cleared, the dim light seared your eyes, intensifying the headache. You lay on a small, dirty mattress, the only things in sight were two small windows letting in weak slivers of daylight, a door, and a set of stairs leading down. You were still in your dress and heels from the night before, the fabric now wrinkled and uncomfortable against your skin.

Panic surged through you, your mind racing. You forced yourself to breathe, reminding yourself that you knew how to handle this. Jess had your location; if you were missing for more than a day, she would report it.

“Stay calm,” you whispered to yourself, your voice trembling. 

You took a deep breath, focusing on the small details around you. The room was sparse, but there had to be something you could use. You scanned the area methodically, trying to ignore the fear clawing at your throat.

Your phone. You needed your phone. You patted your dress, but there were no pockets. Joel must have taken it. You closed your eyes, fighting the wave of despair. Jess had your location. She’d check Life360 and see something was wrong.

“Think,” you told yourself, trying to stay rational. Joel had been careful, but he must have made a mistake. You just had to find it.

You stood up slowly, your head spinning slightly as you did. The tightness of your dress and the ache in your feet from the heels added to your discomfort. You staggered to the door, pressing your ear against the wood. Silence. You tried the handle, but it was locked.

The stairs then. You moved cautiously, your heels making faint clicking sounds on the cold floor. You reached the top of the stairs, glancing down. The faint light from below suggested another room, but you had no idea what awaited you.

Taking another deep breath, you started to descend. Each step felt like an eternity, the fear of making noise almost paralyzing you. When you reached the bottom, you paused, listening. Nothing. You tried the handle, but it was locked. Frustration bubbled up, but you pushed it down. You couldn’t afford to lose control.

Returning to the main room, you approached the other door. You turned the handle cautiously and pushed it open, revealing a small bathroom. It was just as dingy as the main room, with cracked tiles and a grimy mirror. There was nothing here that could help you escape.

Desperation creeping in, you began searching the shelves and every nook and cranny. Dusty and neglected, they offered little hope. Finally, on one of the shelves, you found an old can of beans. It wasn’t much, but it was something. You hid it carefully in the folds of the mattress, just in case.

“Okay,” you muttered to yourself, trying to stay calm. “Think. What next?”

Your mind raced as you reviewed everything you knew about the room. The small windows were too high and narrow to climb through. The locked door at the top of the stairs was your best bet, but you needed a way to get through it.

You took another deep breath, forcing yourself to stay calm. Jess had your location. She would check in on you. You had to hold on to that hope.

Footsteps echoed from below, growing louder. Joel was coming. You quickly lay back down on the mattress, feigning unconsciousness, your heart pounding.

The door creaked open, and Joel’s shadow fell over you. You kept your breathing steady, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slight tremor in your hands.

“Just checking on you,” he murmured, his voice soft. “We’ll talk more when you wake up.”

You heard the door close, and his footsteps recede. You opened your eyes, staring up at the ceiling. You had to find a way out. Jess was counting on you. You were counting on you.

“Stay strong,” you whispered to yourself. “Stay smart.”

Hours passed as you combed through every inch of the small room, searching for any flaw, any potential escape route. The old can of beans hidden in the folds of the mattress was your only find. It was growing darker, and your hope felt as dim as the room around you. The sting of despair lingered, but you fought it off, knowing you had to stay strong.

The only light came from the windows, now dark with the encroaching night. You noticed a string hanging from the ceiling, where a light bulb should have been. It dangled uselessly, a stark reminder of your isolation.

The silence was interrupted by the sound of footsteps below. Joel was coming back. You quickly resumed your position on the mattress, trying to appear exhausted and disoriented. The door creaked open, and Joel entered, carrying a tray of food.

“Thought you might be hungry,” he said, setting the tray down on a small table.

You forced a weak smile, sitting up slowly. “Thanks.”

Joel watched you with an unsettling intensity as you picked at the food. You needed to keep him talking, to gather more information. “Joel, why are you doing this?”

He smiled, a chillingly calm expression. “I just want us to get to know each other better. Away from all the distractions.”

“By locking me up?” you challenged, your voice trembling.

“You’ll understand in time,” he said, ignoring your question. “Are you feeling better?”

You nodded, though your mind was racing. “I’m just a bit dizzy still.”

“Good,” he replied, his eyes never leaving yours. “Get some rest. We’ll talk more tomorrow.”

As he turned to leave, you mustered the courage to ask, “What if I need something? There’s no light in here.”

Joel paused, glancing at the dangling string. “I’ll see what I can do about that.”

The door closed behind him, and you were alone again. You waited, listening to his footsteps fade away before you sprang into action. You grabbed the can of beans from its hiding spot and approached the string. It was a flimsy hope, but perhaps it could be used in some way.

The night stretched on, each minute feeling like an hour. But you remained vigilant, your true crime instincts sharpening with every passing moment. You would find a way out. You had to.

Eventually, exhaustion overpowered your fear. Clutching the can of beans tightly, you lay down on the mattress, forcing yourself to rest. Your eyes grew heavy, and despite your best efforts, sleep claimed you.

You awoke to the feeling of hands on your wrists. Panic shot through you as you realized Joel was there, his grip firm and unyielding. You tried to pull away, but your limbs felt sluggish, uncooperative.

"Shh," Joel murmured, his voice unsettlingly calm. "Just a precaution."

You glanced around frantically, your heart racing. Joel was binding your wrists together with a length of rope. The realization hit you like a cold wave: you were trapped, and he was making sure you couldn’t escape.

“What are you doing?” you demanded, your voice shaking.

“Making sure you don’t hurt yourself,” Joel replied, his tone eerily soothing. “You seemed restless in your sleep.”

“I won’t try anything,” you pleaded, struggling against the bonds. “Just let me go.”

Joel’s eyes met yours, and you saw a flicker of something dark in his gaze. “I can’t do that. Not yet.”

You fought harder, but Joel’s grip was strong. He finished tying your wrists and then moved to your ankles, securing them with the same methodical care. Fear bubbled up inside you, threatening to spill over.

“Please, Joel,” you begged, your voice breaking. “You don’t have to do this.”

Joel stepped inside, holding a light bulb in his hand. He dangled it in front of you, a cruel smile playing on his lips. “I brought you something,” he said, his voice dripping with mock kindness. “But you’ll have to earn it.”

You glared at him, your anger simmering beneath the surface. “What do you want from me?”

Joel knelt down beside you, his gaze intense. “I want your cooperation,” he said softly. “You need to show me that I can trust you. That you’re willing to play by my rules.”

“What rules?” you demanded, your voice trembling with a mixture of fear and defiance.

He leaned closer, his face inches from yours. “Simple ones. Behave. Don’t try to escape. And, most importantly, tell me everything I want to know.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you realized what he was asking. He wanted information—about you, your life, your vulnerabilities. He wanted control.

“Why should I trust you?” you spat, trying to keep your voice steady.

Joel’s smile widened. “Because if you don’t, things will get much worse for you. But if you cooperate, I’ll make sure you’re comfortable. Like giving you this light bulb, for example.”

You swallowed hard, the enormity of your situation crashing down on you. You had to play along, at least for now. You had to buy yourself time.

“Okay,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “What do you want to know?”

“It’s not what I want to know per se, it’s what I want you to do in this moment,” Joel said, his voice chillingly calm.

You stared at him, fear and defiance battling for control. “What do you mean?”

Joel’s smile widened, and he reached out to brush a strand of hair from your face. His touch was gentle, almost tender, but it sent a shiver of revulsion down your spine. “I want you to relax,” he said, his fingers trailing down to play with the ends of your hair. “I want you to be... cooperative.”

You jerked your head away, trying to pull back from his touch. “Get away from me,” you spat, your voice trembling with anger and fear.

Joel’s grip tightened, and he yanked you closer, his eyes darkening. “You don’t have a choice,” he hissed, his voice low and menacing. “It’s this or death. Do you understand?”

Your heart pounded in your chest, terror flooding your veins. You struggled against him, but his strength was overwhelming. “I won’t do anything for you,” you said, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Joel’s expression hardened, and he pushed you back onto the mattress, pinning you down with a frightening ease. “You will,” he said, his face inches from yours. “You will, or I will make your life a living hell. Do you understand me?”

You fought back, trying to twist away from him, but he held you fast. Panic surged through you, and you bit back a scream. “Please, don’t do this,” you pleaded, tears welling in your eyes. “Just let me go.”

Joel’s grip tightened, and he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your face. “You have no idea how much worse things can get,” he whispered, his tone icy. “You will do what I say, or you will suffer.”

Tears streamed down your face as you realized the hopelessness of your situation. You were trapped, and there was no way out. Jess had your location, but would it be enough? Would she find you in time?

Joel released you slightly, still keeping a firm grip on your wrists. “Now,” he said, his voice softer but no less menacing, “are you going to be a good girl and cooperate, or do I need to show you what happens when you disobey?”

You swallowed hard, the weight of his threat crushing your spirit. “Okay,” you whispered, your voice breaking. “I’ll cooperate.”

Joel’s smile returned, and he released your wrists and undid the binding, sitting back on his heels. “Good,” he said, his tone almost cheerful. “That’s a good start. Now, let’s get you a bit more comfortable.”

He stood up and walked to the door, leaving you trembling on the mattress. You watched him, your mind racing with thoughts of escape, but the reality of your situation kept you paralyzed with fear.

Joel returned a moment later, holding the light bulb. He approached the dangling string and screwed the bulb into the socket. The room was suddenly bathed in harsh light, revealing the true extent of its dinginess.

“There,” Joel said, turning to face you. “That’s better, isn’t it?” He walked over to you, his presence looming ominously. “Now say thank you or I’ll leave you in the dark with the mice.”

You stayed on the mattress, savoring the small distance between you. “Thank-” Joel cut you off.

“No, no. Thank me properly,” he said, a sick grin spreading across his face. You wanted to smack it off, to fight back, but you knew it would only make things worse. “Crawl to me,” he commanded.

The words made your cheeks flush with humiliation. Your mind raced. If you wanted to escape, you needed to gain his trust. But was his trust worth your dignity? You hesitated, the internal conflict paralyzing you.

Joel's grin faded slightly, his eyes narrowing. “Do it,” he growled, a dangerous edge to his voice. “Or I’ll make sure you regret it.”

You took a deep breath, forcing down the surge of anger and humiliation. “I can’t crawl with my legs bound,” you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Unless you want me to flop around like a fish.”

Joel’s eyes flashed with annoyance, but he knelt down and untied your ankles. “There,” he said, standing back up. “Now, crawl.”

Tears pricked your eyes as you slowly shifted onto your hands and knees. The dirty floor scraped against your skin, and every inch you moved felt like a mile. You could feel Joel’s gaze burning into you, his satisfaction palpable.

You reached him, your head bowed, heart pounding in your chest. “Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

Joel chuckled, a dark, humorless sound. “Good girl,” he said, reaching down to stroke your hair. You flinched at his touch, but forced yourself to stay still. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You bit back the bile rising in your throat, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you break down. “What do you want from me?” you asked, your voice shaking.

Joel moved his hands to his belt, his eyes darkening with sinister intent. "I think you know what I want you and those pretty little lips to do," he whispered, his hand caressing your face. He finished unbuckling his belt, and as his pants fell to the floor with a thud, you flinched involuntarily. "Pull down my boxers," he ordered, taunting you as if you were a child.

You swallowed your pride, your mind racing with strategies to fight back. As you lowered his boxers, he taunted you further, waving his length near your face. Instinctively, you reached out with your hand, but he grabbed your hair roughly, yanking your head back. "I didn’t ask for your hands," he spat, his voice laced with venom. "I asked you to suck my dick."

Before you could react, he spat on you, his warm saliva trickling down your face. You opened your mouth to protest, but he shoved his length into your mouth forcefully, leaving you no time to prepare. The size of him stretched your mouth painfully, making you feel as if you might rip apart.

"This can’t be over soon enough," you thought, struggling against the overwhelming violation. But to your horror, you felt a strange sensation growing between your legs. His cock was hard, the taste of his precum salty on your tongue.

“Look at me,” he demanded. You resisted, focusing instead on his messy brown hair. You felt a wave of disgust at yourself for even noticing such a detail. This wasn’t the man you met on Tinder; this was a psychopath.

He gripped your head with both hands, forcing himself deeper into your throat. "That's it," he groaned, thrusting shallowly. The sound of your gagging and choking filled the room. "I don’t care if you fucking choke to death. Your throat feels like heaven."

As he continued, your mind raced for a plan. You took breaths through your nose, waiting for the perfect moment to make him pay for his actions. Just as you prepared to bite down, he thrust deeply one last time, and you felt a hot, steamy rope of his cum hit the back of your throat, its salty taste overwhelming.

Joel roughly pushed you away, pulling up his pants as you fell back, coughing and choking, your throat raw and dry. He walked over, fixing his belt. “See, it wasn’t that hard now, was it?” he sneered.

Before you could respond, he left the room, the only comfort in the dark basement now the solitary light bulb. You lay there, trembling with rage and humiliation, vowing silently that you would find a way to escape and make him pay for every moment of torment.

[alphajocklover]

Hey, um, I'm a really tall, really skinny gay guy. People have always told me that I could be really athletic if I wanted to, but no matter how much I eat I always stay thin and lanky. I guess it's just my metabolism. Could you help me beef up?

Maybe I just don't have the mindset for it

So, no matter what, even though you desperately want to, you can’t seem to put on any muscle. Trust me when I tell you that you’re not alone. There are tons of people who look at their body and wish they were different, and there are just as many who do what they can to change and find it's just not enough. That's part of why transformation blogs exist after all. The fantasy of getting your dream body without all the hassle. Some people say that those who have trouble doing this just need to work harder, or are lazy, but usually it has more to do with genetics and metabolism than anything else. Getting a body like the ones in my post is possible without magic and reality warping apps, but it is very difficult and not possible for everyone. So, your request brings up an interesting idea: what would happen if I changed you mentally and left your body alone? Would the right mindset really change that much? Well, let's see.

It shouldn’t be hard to change you mentally. I won’t even go into how. Maybe I used some magic, or nano bots, or something else from my increasingly large collection of jock transformation methods. Honestly the how isn’t really important to this experiment. It’s what happens next that we want to focus on. Because now, mentally, you’re a jock. I didn’t entirely rewrite your identity, so you’re still you, just a jock version of yourself. You’re dumber, simpler. You love sports and working out, and obsess about getting massive muscles. You’re the stereotypical jock… except you're skinny as a bean pole. The new you can’t just accept that of course. He wants to be huge. He works out like crazy, follows all the tips, takes every supplement and tries every protein powder he can find, all to chase the version of you he knows he can be. So… does it work? Does the new you get a jock body? The answer is fairly boring: kind of. An increased dedication to exercise and a passion for it is sure to make a big difference, and you end up putting on dozens of pounds of muscle, but since I didn’t change your body, you still have to deal with the genetics life has dealt you. You get huge, but you don’t get as big as some of the other gym goers. You’re a jock, but you’re not inhumanly massive. You’re definitely a total stud, but it takes quite some time for you to get where you want to be. I’m not knocking hard work and dedication, but they’re not the only factors and it’s ok to acknowledge that. You may never get as big as you dream… but that's not really why you do it anymore. You’re a jock now, and a real jock doesn’t just workout because they wanna look good, they do it because they love it! Because it’s their passion! That passion and dedication will take you very far, farther than people get on just good genetics. You may never be the biggest guy in the gym, but you’ll get big and enjoy every second of getting bigger.

Of course, that's coming at it from a more grounded viewpoint, and we’re not here to be grounded are we? You want to live out your jock fantasy, and as thanks for letting me do this little experiment with you, I’ll give your muscles an extra little boost! Looks like you will be the biggest guy in the gym after all! With both the right mindset and the perfect body, you’re going to end up a jock bro god. Hope you enjoy it bro! You're gonna have guys throwing themselves at you after this.

[anxiousapplepie]

Highly amused that housemaiden!siffrin is the one least oblivious to seeing isabeaus crush on them for what it is. Like how did that even happen. Did researcher isa Understood The Assignment (the brick wall cant be breached with normal flirting) so he put his whole brain into making sure his words cannot be misinterpreted any other way except the one he wants them to be. Did siffrin saw this and thought 'huh! That reminds me of that one romance book mira forced me to read as a punishment!' only to go WAIT A SECOND after 15 minutes of pure mulling over it. Was it both. Was it neither. Did change god came to that housemaiden in a dream and said youre doing to best outta them all i need you to have a conundrum <:} and spilled the beans. WHAT HAPPENED THERE

HA! I don't know the exact scientific method, but an educated guess is probably a combination of Isa using his Researcher Skills to breach through Siffrin's obliviousness and Siffrin having more...... 'experience' and knowledge about the existence of romance than the average Sif. Not that either of those things will help Isa's crush or stop Sif being an absolute gremlin when they figure out the power they have over the buff Researcher. But it DOES mean the shenanigans are much more flirty than average

[mistydeyes]

Hello!! Could you do headcanons with the 141 boys with a partner who has frequent migraines and they are in the task force with them as well?

Honestly, any of these boys taking care of me while I have a migraine or just sick cures me in just a few seconds lol

thank you for requesting! I thought this was super cute to write and I was able to recall some of the non-harm methods for treating migraines :) I literally cannot even deal with a headache so I can't imagine what frequent migraines must feel like

migraines and forehead kisses

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summary: You've been diagnosed with frequent migraines but sometimes it is so unbearable that the 141 will step in and be sure to soothe their significant other.

pairing: Taskforce 141 x gn!Reader

warnings: none, all fluff :)

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price

most of the time, your migraines are triggered by stress or following a long, sleepless mission

price can tell when your in pain, especially when you close your eyes tightly or put your head in your hands

he'll rub your shoulders and offer to make you some coffee to help

he knows you are regimented about your medication so he often offers other methods of helping your headache

and as caffeine is the answer to all of price's problems, he immediately makes you a pot of coffee

as you put your head down on the table, you can smell the strong scent of coffee beans

"don't make it too strong" you mumble and he would laugh

it's a legitimate request as you have tried his coffee and you swear it would kill a small child

"here you go, love" he would say and presents you with a small mug

you're not sure if its the stimulants from the caffeine or just being back on base, but you're headache dissipates within moments

he'll continue to ask about your condition until you reassure him you're fine

"it's always the coffee"

he's so proud of it even though its something you can buy from the grocers

soap

when you first had a migraine, soap wanted to rush you to the infirmary

he practically loses it when you tell him how you can see an aura in your vision and how it feels like a jackhammer on your brain

only after you reassured him it was a reoccurring thing and you were diagnosed before you entered selection, he calms down

now he's an expert at helping you recover

you found that brufen helps the best and soap will always have it on hand

when you closed your eyes tightly on the plane and complained about the fluorescent overhead light, he immediately searched through his tac vest

"it's here somewhere," he would say as you could hear various zippers and velcro pockets being opened

eventually he opened your palm to offer you the small tablet

"you sure this isn't expired?" you asked and he reassured you he just got it from the chemist's last week

he handed you your flask of water and patted your back after you swallowed it

as you waited for the medication kick in, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder and draws circles into your back

"it'll be alright" he reassures and you have to tell him to lower his voice as it makes the migraine worse

he'll get it right one day

gaz

when you first told gaz you had frequent migraines, he spent all night looking up remedies

you already were on medication and had your analgesics at the ready so he focused on home remedies

for a few weeks, you both tried out various techniques (caffeine and essential oils being your least favorite)

eventually, you found that a good scalp massage was ideal for making the pain go away

something about increasing blood circulation

as long as you're not in the middle of an active war zone, he will gladly sit you in between his legs and give you the best massage in the world

he'll start at the base of your scalp and work his way up with his fingers

"just let me know if i'm hurting you, love," he'd reassure but his gentle touch always made you feel comforted

it honestly feels like one of those head scratchers but a thousand times better

you joke that he should've been a masseuse instead of joining the military

he'll hum lightly as he continues until you let him know that you're feeling better

you're more than happy to return the favor with his aching muscles (especially his back and shoulders)

ghost

you know your migraines are triggered after long mission briefings where you strain to look at the screen and through various floor plans

since they're unavoidable, ghost knows what to do when you exit the room and tell him you have a migraine

plays 20 questions with you and will ask if you tried everything

did you drink enough water? yes, you know me. took your paracetamol today? yeah tried that. what about your rizatriptan? you saw me take that before the briefing.

he'll sigh before offering you some other methods

"just follow me" he responds and you walk with him back to your quarters

he leaves the light off before returning from the bathroom with a cold, damp towel

before you can ask, he sits on the bed and motions for you to sit in between his legs

you compile and once you're comfortable, he places the cold compress over your eyes

despite the initial shock, it actually worked quite well and you swear you can fall asleep like this

ghost swears he heard you snoring but you deny it

now whenever you have a long briefing, you will follow the same routine and ghost gets to enjoy some quiet alone time with you

[incorrectbatfam]

Now I need the batfam as David

I should've answered this a while back but for those who don't know, David is my friend that I mentioned in this post who is the embodiment of Chaotic Stupid and gave at least one person gender envy, so anon is asking for the batfam as things about him

Dick: during his bottom surgery consultation, he asked if they could make his grayson as long as his arm

Jason: his dream job is either brewery owner or freelance pharmacist

Tim: he eats coffee beans like popcorn and mixes Rockstar with Gatorade

Damian: he chose his dad's name as his own to assert dominance

Duke: his lockscreen is a picture of himself wearing 6 hats on top of each other

Cullen: he twerked to Mama by My Chemical Romance

Stephanie: he celebrated his top surgery by doing a fake commercial shoot in his old Hooters uniform

Cassandra: his sleep paralysis demons disappeared after doing shrooms

Barbara: he thought his tweets would be anonymous if he used an incognito browser

Harper: he and his dad installed a urinal in their house while his mom and sister were away

Carrie: he bites right through the bones whenever we have wings

Kate: his fiancée banned him from wedding planning after he suggested edibles as a party favor

Helena: he's the reason water bottles at our former high school now have to be transparent

Luke: he's trying to grow a viking beard so he can braid it and hide stuff

Bette: his sister's old prom dress is now one of his drag outfits for amateur shows

Alfred: he thought London was just a city of the past, "like Rome or Athens" (his words not mine)

Selina: he's probably stolen around $6,000 worth of stuff by shoplifting at this point

Bruce: his main method of cooking is DoorDash because he once burned microwaved tea

[mochinomnoms]

Ooo here’s an interesting thought for you. So you know how, in the interspecies romance, you mentioned how Jade and Floyd would still kinda ‘bully’ a potential partner? Can you imagine if that person were an overthinking type? Like the ‘mean’ interactions make them think that either of the tweels just do NOT like them.

Basically misunderstandings abound.

Floyd gifts them a tooth; are they next?? Jade gives a poisonous (but pretty/rare) mushroom; is this a threat??

Could also just be a person who has a difficult time interpreting social cues, or flirting.

But either way, the poor object of their interest starts avoiding them and is so confused by the mixed signals. So they go up to Azul or something and ask if they’ve made the respective tweel angry or something. Because they thought they were getting along???

Just a poor confused bean.

Anyway sorry that was long but I just thought it was an interesting concept. 😂

As someone whose autism severely impacted their understanding of social norms, I feel this on a deeply spiritual level. In the partner's defense, the twins are just generally intimidating and take delight in scaring their peers. They say the most out of pocket shit and it's hard to tell when they're being serious or joking (they also have a tad bit of the tism). Poor Azul would be so tired of having to deal with a potential eel mate asking him to call off his right/left-hand men, they don't have a contract with him anymore, so why are they threatening them with loose teeth and poisonous mushrooms?? Azul!! Make them stop!!!

(He briefly considers staying out of it. It would do them some good to suffer through their pining until they have the common sense to look up human dating and woo methods. But they are his friends that he actually cares quite deeply for his employees whose moods are affecting productivity, so he'll explain it to you, and then go give them a good wack in the head for being stupid.)

Floyd is the more likely of the two to not look up human courting and dating methods. He's more of the kind of guy that's hoping you will get what he means by vibe alone. Like that manifesting stuff Cater goes on about. You'll have to be particularly perceptive to notice that he squeezes you a bit softer, looks at you with hearts in his eyes a bit longer than more, and notice that he slips up and calls you by your name instead of Shrimpy; he's surprisingly subtle with his growing affections. Jade would have definitely research ahead of time, plus he's very perceptive of others and their emotions around him. He'll probably be able to tell that you're not getting his advances, but on the other hand, it would be so funny to see how long it takes for you to catch on. He'll make fun of you in the future on how you “strung along a poor eel's heart, waaahhhh!” while he pined after you with foraged and handmade gifts, classic merfolk courting! That, or you accidentally start dating/a friends-with-benefits situation, both of you misunderstanding the other's intentions. It would take some incredible denseness and misunderstanding on both your parts for that to happen, which is a lot easier than you think when it comes to Jade “Keep them Guessing” Leech. Truly, a man can be too confident with regard to love, please tell him this or else you'll spend at least four months in a relationship before realizing it.

[mwolf0epsilon]

How is it the clone beans eat?

With their little mouths of course! (which are not visible in the sculpts because I didn't want to overly deform the faces, I intend to one day 3D print them after all)

Granted the Trooper Beans being a manifestation of the clones's personality and emotions don't really NEED to eat... But it's a very enjoyable activity that they take pleasure in partaking in! Especially if they have access to their particular trooper's favourite snacks.

There is the occasional mishap, however...

Not every good little Trooper Bean resorts to nibbling like a polite little hamster. Some like Dogma Bean, for example, serve as emotional outlets for their troopers... So they tend to have very little self-control and over-indulge in things they enjoy doing with no real regard for the consequences of, say, swallowing an entire cheese bun?

Thankfully Trooper Beans that are tied to medics have enough sense to take the welfare of their fellow Beans just as seriously as the medical officers they manifested from.

Swallowing stuff whole isn't the only questionable method of eating, however. There are some Beans that prefer a more unconventional approach...

If I were any of you, I wouldn't dare stick my fingers anywhere close Cody Bean. He's especially fond of the Goblin Shark method...

[irishmammonagenda]

cw: graphic imagery bordering on gore PLEASE DONT READ IF YOURE SENSITIVE TO THAT !!!! inspired by a dream i had <3

The castle dungeons are dark, damp and desolate, with the only light source being the flickering flames in their holsters on the walls. Bhí an t-urlár fuair fliuch. The stone walls were cold to the touch.

Occasional dripping sounds were all that could be heard until a series of harsh hurried footsteps and muffled screaming cut through the eerie silence like a butcher's knife to a pig.

The demon is thrown harshly into a cold, stale cell, before the lock clicks shut, and they're left to stew in the cursed ciúnas.

Momentarily a calm clacking of pointed shoe soles sound on the stone hallway. The demon listens with bated breath as the cell door is carefully opened. The unoiled hinges screech like a bean sidhe. A cart is pushed in, one that delicacies would be served on.

But instead of sweet treats and teacakes the trays hold something far more sinister.

The demon shivers as forest green eyes lock onto them. The most feared butler in all the Devildom takes a tantalising step forward. Barbatos doesn't break eye contact, politely sinister smile unwavering; he's in full demon form, intricate horns and a strong, glistening tail stand out in the light of the flames.

"Oh, my dear subject...how careless could one be?...." The butler drawls slowly, polite demeanour not yet wavering.

"I-...P-please!-...." The demon finds that the words get stuck in their throat, a chuckle is pulled from Barbatos' chest.

"Please what?" Barbatos cocks his head, smile tightening ever so slightly. "Please let you live?" A deep, sultry chuckle erupts from his chest as the demon nods frantically.

Barbatos steps away.

Towards his tray of tools.

With his back turned to the chained demon his polite façade drops as he listens to that parasite's begging and pleading for mercy.

He hums softly as he slowly removes his gloves, revealling long slender fingers underneath. "Begging me to let you live?...Oh, the navieté...." The butler turns around, gentlemanish smile back on his face. "You see, when I'm done with you you'll beg for death...."

"I didn't even do anyth-!" The demon begins to protest, squirming in their chains, before Barbatos' súile glas meet theirs with such a ferocity, words fail them.

"Don't." Barbatos grabs a tool not unlike one a dentist would use, before approaching the chained demon with such anger in his eyes it trumped even the Avatar of Wrath's. "Don't say that you have done nothing. You see. You tried to hurt his Majesty, by trying to hurt the exchange programme....that already would have landed you some time down here....had I so felt it necessary...."

Barbatos takes the Periodontal probe and slowly inserts it into the demon's right eye. They howl in pain as the sclera is pierced, eyes watering so much, they're unaware if everything is becoming blurry because of that, or because they're going blind.

The turquoise haired demon steps back, as if admiring the handiwork already completed on his soon to be broken toy. Something else flashes in his eyes, polite smile still trained on his face. "You see...you tried to hurt the exchange programme by attempting to hurt someone I hold very dearly....and for that...." Barbatos' smile widens unnaturally. "I'm going to show you just how much the rumours at RAD completely downplay my dungeon of horrors..."

With the demon's wailing as his motif, Barbatos approaches his tray once more. "You know, I've been meaning to try out some new....methods....but alas, I felt it wouldn't be ethical to test them on the Little Ds....I'm quite fond of them you see....even Little D No. 2...." He turns around, eyeing the state of agony the demon is already in.

He smiles. "Perhaps if you're a good test subject, I'll kill you earlier than I'd originally planned to..."

The mangled corpse lay on the ground, legions of muscle and bone exposed, joints jutted out in painfully unnatural angles. The deceased demon's damaged eyes were poked until massive holes formed, in which fire ants were placed in them, the creepy crawlies still stinging and crawling around the eyesockets of the now dead body.

Barbatos leans against the wall, panting. Pale skin covered and splashed in the most beautiful of reds. His hair sticks to his forehead with sweat . Pupils completely dilated.

The tools on the tray are bloody and sanguinary. Not a single one clean.

The door to the cell creaks slowly open, the Butler's head snaps to the sound.

A small black blob trots shakily into the room, shivering when it meets Barbatos' bloody gaze.

"E-er...Mister Barbatos....?"

The demon tilts his head, eyes blown wide. "...Yes?"

Little D No.2 shivers, fiddling with its tiny tophat. "Er....Little D. No.1 s-said to tell you MC is on their way t-to the castle....."

Barbatos nods, eyes softening ever so slightly at the mention of you and the sight of Little D No.2 fainting upon discovering the mangled corpse in the corner of the room.

Barbatos chuckles softly, tension not as firmly molded into his shoulders as he scoops up the tiny demon in one ungloved hand and places it in his bloodied breast pocket.

The turquoise haired demon strides out of the cell with learned poise, muttering a spell to clean the blood and entrails off of his muscular form as he puts his ivory gloves back on.

Walking out of the dungeons, he motions to Little D No. 6 who bobbles its little head and begins to make its way into the dungeons.

(Meanwhile....) A portal opens in the dark cell. Flat sneakers step out of the abyss and halt upon seeing the gory scene.

The figure tightens the grip on the scythe and sighs, pulling down her hood, revealling long ombre hair.

Thirteen sighs, watching as Little D No. 6 chomps down on the dead body's liver. "Oh for fuck's sake."

She groans, leaning against the wall of the cell, uncairng of the blood getting on her stupid official reaper robe seeing as she hated it anyway.

"Barbatos owes me a new motorcycle for this." Thirteen grumbles, she was woken up from her nap for this. The reaper watches as Little D No.6 uses the demon's pierced, leaking stomach as a trampoline. "...and he better make it a pink one."

With Little D No.2 still in his breast pocket, Barbatos opens the palace doors, eyes glinting with something unreadable as he sees you.

His smile is geniune as he welcomes you into his abode. "Oooo! Barbs! In your demon form today? What's the occassion?" You ask, bouncing from your tip-toes to your heels.

Barbatos just chuckles, tail wrapping around your waist as an arm wraps around your shoulders, guiding you to the kitchen. "Oh, I just felt more comfortable in this form today....pay it no mind, my dear MC."

"Meh, I won't, your demon form's pretty, now...." Your eyes glint excitedly as Barbatos steps away to grab some bowls and ingredients for your cookie baking/gossiping session. "...you won't believe what Asmo's done now.."

Barbatos raises an eyebrow playfully, polite poised smile still on his face, although more relaxed than usual. "Oh, do tell...."

And so, you're launched into your tirade about the latest scandal you and the brothers caused and reaped the consequences of said scandal.

You both bake, with Little D No.2 waking up from his nap in Barbatos' pocket and then attaching himself to your shoulder halfway through.

With a sharp exhale you place the batch of cookies in the oven, before moving to clean up with the BUtler. (Even though he protested it very much.)

And hey, if Barbatos' tail wraps around your midsection and wont seem to let go, that's not something he's going to acknowledge. ;)

dia daoibh a chairde!! ( translation: hello friends) [pronounced: jee-ah deev ah hard-jeh] dividers by @/saradika-graphics

its summer so im on my grind fr. i've been obsessed with the concept of feral barbs and also have had a few pretty bad nightmares so now im making it the entire obey me fandom's problem.

also I can't characterise Barbatos why is this man so polite

[moth anon i am so sorry im planning out ur ask rn]

NOW ONTO THE IRISH (you thought you were safe since i haven't been including irish as of late? 🧐)

(1) 'Bhí an t-urlár fuair fliuch.' - The floor was cold and wet. pronounced: Vee an tur-lair [tur as in t(air)] feh-where fluck.

AGAIN ‘ck’ is okay to use but try to pronounce with your throat!!

try to pronounce fuair as like one syllable sort of? as per usual i cant write pronunciations, so as a special treat have this:

irishmammonagenda voice reveal😨 (i tried to speak slow and clear </3)

since its a sentence here's my shitty handwriting explaining the structures.

(2) 'ciúnas' - silence prnounced: q-un-ess q as in queue un as in how you'd pronounce the un in 'uno'

(3) ;súile glas; - green eyes pronounced: sool-eh glass the 'ool' in 'sool-eh' is pronounced the same way as the 'ool' in 'school'

'súile' means 'eyes' and 'glas' means 'green' as i've said before, in irish the adjective comes after the noun.

Go raibh maith agaibh a chairde. Slán <3. [Thank you (plural) my friends. Bye <3.] [ pronounced: gerah muy ugg-eev a hard-yeh. slan.]

[practicalsolarpunk]

Hey do you have any tips for making my garden very low maintenance but still productive. I have a large raised bed and a field with very good soil quality but I just don't have the energy to garden all the time. They both get lots of sun.

These tips are mostly focused on reducing the maintenance required in weeding and watering, which are often the two biggest things that gardeners end up doing to maintain gardens. These tips are also fairly general. As always, if you have more specific questions, please feel free to send in another ask with more details!

Mulch is my go-to method to reduce weeding and watering. Putting mulch around your plants helps keep water from evaporating out of the soil and makes it a lot harder for weeds to grow. This doesn't have to be fancy expensive mulch either - lawn clippings or wet newspaper work just fine (and I would argue better than traditional wood chip mulch).

Soaker hoses are a low-effort way to water, especially if your garden is large. Depending on your setup, watering the garden could be as simple as turning on a spigot.

The Ruth Stout method is an entire gardening method that combines mulching and no-dig techniques to grow plants with minimal effort. An overview here.

Grow native plants. They're already adapted to the growing conditions of your area and tend to grow well with little human input. If you're in the US, your local county extension office can help you pick options and possibly source seeds.

Similar to the last point, choose hardy, low-maintenance plants. I'm using vegetable examples here since that's most of what I grow personally: Beans, peppers, greens like lettuce and spinach, summer squashes like zucchini, and many herbs tend to grow perfectly fine if you throw the seeds at dirt and water them occasionally. Potatoes, carrots, onions, and tomatoes either require special soil preparation or tend to need more maintenance and care while growing to deal with pests or disease. Find the overlap between what grows well in your climate and growing season and what doesn't require a lot of maintenance or preparation.

Look into permaculture gardening principles. A running permaculture garden should be fairly low-maintenance, but it can take a lot of energy and effort to get it going, which may not be the best fit for what you need. However, there are a lot of overlapping concepts in permaculture. You may find things you can implement in your garden to reduce how much energy you have to put into it without going full permaculture. One intro here, another here; I'm also a huge fan of Heather Jo Flores and Food Not Lawns as resources.

I hope this helps! Followers, please chime in with any tips you may have.

- Mod J

[half-dead-ham]

Tim Drake's I.E.F chap 4

[Previous chap][Ao3 chap][Masterlist][next chap]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason here, with some bonding on multiple levels!

It took Danny's core a total of four days for it to be satisfied with Tim's safety in the cave while recovering. Four days plus the three since before Tim got shot since Danny's checked in with his friends back in Amity.

He's honestly surprised the Boomerang hasn't beaned him yet.

Only after making sure he had a few methods of keeping Tim safe remotely and telling his new friend—as much as he was able to without talking—that he'd be gone for a bit did he fly back over to his old squat house and retrieve the rest of his things, including his phone. The new guys there didn't seem like the friendly sort, but when you can go invisible that's not really a problem.

His go bag was still in the same place he'd left it four days ago—inside the first floor bathroom's wall—along with the change of clothes and cash Sam had shoved in it on his way out of Amity. He took it easily and shot up through the top of the building, missing the guy sleeping in the bath tub's panicked start.

Hesitantly he turned his phone back on. The moment it was done the startup sequence it began vibrating nonstop, and Danny had to wonder how much of that was his friends worrying versus actual updates about his hometown. Scrolling through and, yep, that's a lot of 'answer or I'll kick your ass' texts from Sam, probably one every other hour since the second day, judging by the time stamps. The texts he was getting from Tuck were much the same, albeit much less violent and graphic about what bodily part's would be stuck where if he didn't answer soon.

Picking a direction and shooting off Danny soon found himself sailing high above the Atlantic ocean. He made sure Gotham bay was only a spec in the distance (to fool any attempts at trying to track his phone call, just to be safe) then hit the group dial on their chat.

Two connection tones sounded on top of each-other, and the first words Danny heard from his friends in a week were "give me one good reason why we aren't already in Gotham looking for your half-dead ass after you literally ghosted us for a week."

"Hi to you too, Sam," he chuckled in response. It was nice actually getting to talk to someone, with actual words.

"Ohhh no. You don't get to pull the 'Hi to you too, Sam' bit after missing two check-ins in a row with no explanation."

"Danny…" Tucker's voice came in with a lot less fire in it, but with twice the worry of Sam's. "Why is your phone pinging two hundred miles off the coast of New Jersey? Did you get into something again?"

Ah, yes. His friends knew him so well.

"To answer both of your questions, my phone is pinging two hundred miles from New Jersey because I am two hundred miles from New Jersey, give or take with the altitude. I didn't mean to ghost you, really, something came up and I forgot the phone at my old place."

"Old place? Danny, what came up that you had to move safehouses? What do you mean something came up?" Oh yeah, Sam wasn't happy with him. If he weren't safely riding in international waters he was sure Sam would find him and make sure no one found his corpse. If he could leave a corpse that is.

"Yeahhh… about that?" He let out a nervous chuckle, free hand travelling to the back of his neck. "I kinda made a friend?"

"What?!" Sam's shriek had Danny's ears swivelling down and his toes curling at the intensity.

"Danny, I say this with all the love in my cold, dead heart, but what the actual fuck would make you think making a friend while on the run was a good idea?!"

"Danny dude," Tucker spoke up, "I thought you've had some bad ideas before, but this. Man, at least tell me you didn't give out your real name?"

"Heh heh eh… funny story? They kinda gave me a name."

The statement was met with only the sound of the rolling waves underneath him. As the quiet grew he started to get fidgety, maybe not starting from the beginning wasn't the best idea…

Finally, after what seemed like hours, a woosh of air passed Sam's mic as a single word came over the call. "Explain" left no room for jokes, rambling it is then.

"So I may or may not have been hanging around this guy at night while doing some flying to clear my head. The guy seemed nice enough and pretty popular so I kinda thought 'whats the harm?' and started haunting the guy when he went out 'cause I was bored and we kinda grew into this on official friendship between us? Cause apparently he knew I was there even though I was invisible like all of the time, so cause I knew he knew I was there I started helping him with the things he was doing? Like little not obvious things but apparently he noticed him anyway cause his family is like a bunch of detectives and so he notices things. Anyway like four days ago he was shot and I've kinda been with him since cause my core thinks he's someone I need to protect even though I didn't actually know the guys name till after he got shot and-"

"Danny, dude, this is like, waaaay too much info all at once. You got a spark notes version of this story?" Tucker cut in. Having a friend that both had a tendency to ramble and no need to breathe could give him a headache sometimes.

Before Danny could start back up, Sam cut him off "... Danny, what's the name of the guy you were stalking?" It was phrases like a question, but with who it was coming from, it was more of a demand.

Panicking he tries to evade the question, "stalking? I wasn't stalking him, I was… hanging out? Without him knowing it was a hangout?"

"Danny…"

"I mean really, stalking is such a strong word. I'd prefer the term non-consensual bodyguarding."

"Danny."

"It's not like I was even doing anything usually, just hanging around the same places he was. At night… alone."

"Danny, the name!" Sam snapped. He really shouldn't tell his friends, because if they know his new friend is Tim Drake-Wayne then they'll want to know why he was hanging around him at night, and why he got shot. Those were not questions he wanted to answer at the moment. He knew what they'd say if he did.

"I can't tell you," he blurted out.

"...What?" Oh, oh yeah, that was a bad play, Fenton.

"I can't tell you his name, you'll get mad at me," he knew she sounded like a child, but his friends were always the more responsible parent types anyway.

"Danny dude, what in Clockworks name do you think will make her any more angry than she already is?" While Tucker brought up a good point, he already knew the answer to that question.

"...Timothy Drake-Wayne?" Was all he could say to reply.

Once again all that joined him was the sound of the rolling waves. Were they shocked? Angry? (Of course they were angry, angrier?) It was really hard to gauge his friends' responses with just their voices.

Finally Sam whispered "what do you mean, Timothy Drake-Wayne?" That voice. He knew that voice, if he were any closer to her when she spoke in that voice he'd be halfway through the zone already trying to hide.

The heat of a thousand suns couldn't compare to the fury in that one question.

"I mean, I started haunting Tim Drake-Wayne accidentally? And then sorta got attached?"

Sam was trying to re-kill him through the phone somehow, he knew it. Tucker graciously offered an out with "Why was the co-CEO of Wayne Enterprise going out enough in Gotham to require a ghostly bodyguard Danny? The dude is, like, super kidnappable right?"

Ancients damn Tucker and his logical questioning making Danny want to drop his phone in the ocean and fly back as fast as possible. Unfortunately, now that they knew who he was haunting, they could just show up at Wayne manor to find him. That would definitely out him to Tim's family, he hadn't even done any pranking with the guy yet.

Audibly sighing into the mic, Danny's hand travels back to his neck as he speaks. "You guys gotta understand that what I'm going to tell you next is a secret, okay? Like, my level of secret secret. Tucker, this line is encrypted right?"

At Tucker's confused sound of approval he continues.

"So originally I didn't actually know I was following Tim Drake. I was following Red Robin. I only know who he is now because I followed him to the Batcave after he got shot."

He really should have something to do for when he accidentally stuns his friends into silence. Fidgeting can get boring pretty fast after a bit.

After another eternity a groan came from Sam's end. Danny hoped that was a good sign.

"So you were stalking a vigilante and accidentally put him in your 'I'd take a bullet for you' list? Danny, that's all kinds of stupid. He's a vigilante, it's his job to fight and protect, not be protected! And what were you saying about your core bonding to him?" Well at least she sounded more 'tired of this shit' and less 'grind him to dust' now, Danny for the win?

"You know how I get all ghostly protective about you guys getting in danger? It's kinda like that with him now. It feels so weird having my instincts labelling someone outside of Amity as one of my humans. Kinda the whole 'I've only known him for a day and a half, but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone here and then myself' meme. It's creepy, and not the good kind."

"I hate that you just described your ghostly instinct to protect people with a meme, dude." Tucker half groaned, half chuckled. At least he appreciated the humour in it.

"At least he's acknowledging he's getting into stalker protective territory, before he just thought he was being a helicopter friend." Sam added in. He hated when she brought up his early phases, when he still didn't know how being a ghost worked (he still doesn't, really.)

"So how are we going to play this, dude? Want me to hack into the Batcave, see what they got on you?" He could hear the gears in Tucker's head spinning, trying to find the best code bits to use on the bats firewalls. Danny chuckled at the image of Tuck going against  a family of trained hackers and coming out on top.

"Nah, Tuck. I-" Something cut him off, there was a buzzing in his core. The kind he knew was meant as a silent alarm. Tim was in trouble and he had to get back now.

"Guys, I gotta go. I'll check back with you later." He hung up, hearing his friends' voices of protest as he did so. Stowing his phone, he shot back to Gotham at mach speed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took Tim a while to get used to the fact that he was no longer ignoring the cold spot staying in his room. They were surprisingly easy to talk to, once they got past the fact that Arct could really only do yes or no questions with the statue as help. Trying to figure out that his friend had to go do something for a while took some time, especially with just the yes or no probing.

Before he left, Tim asked Arct to get him something to read, they came back with his laptop and the stack of files and books from his nightstand (how did it know which bedroom was his?) With one last Bob of the galaxy, his friend set it down and floated out, bringing with him the now comforting cold.

He'd finished up all the work emails saying he'd been in an accident and was just starting on the novel he's been meaning to read when he heard the revv of an engine coming to rest in the cave. As it was currently the day all of the usual bats were either at work or school, or resting up for tonight's patrol. Only a few members came in during the day, and he was about to try and figure it out when the question was answered for him.

Jason didn't even knock, instead kicking the door open with his boot and striding in like he lived here. Tim could only give a mildly annoyed glare as he watched his second eldest brother plop himself down in the chair next to him and kick his feet up on the side of the bed.

He sighed, realizing the book would have to wait again. Closing it and returning it to the stack on the side table, he looked to Jason, now with Red Hood helmet and domino mask off. He opened his mouth to speak but Jason beat him to it with. "Why d'you smell like death? I thought you survived the whole bullet to the chest thing."

Okay, that's not what Tim was expecting to come out of his brother's mouth. Not even a hello? Hell, how'd he even know he was in the medbay? He voiced that thought and he got a "group chat," in reply. Of course it was the family group chat.

Tim sighed and readjusted his position in bed. Talking with Jason was always tiring with how little respect he got from the former Robin. He knew Jason felt he replaced him when he died, but the fact he brought it up over and over again really didn't make him feel any better about it.

"Yo, Replacement, you gonna answer me? Why the hell do you smell like you took a shower in pit water? How'd you even find a pit not guarded by the League to begin with?"

"Do you really think I'd still be in a bed in medbay if I went anywhere near a Lazarus pit?" Tim really didn't know why his brother thought he had anything to do with the thing that brought him back before, he didn't really care either.

He watched as Jason scrunched up his nose and looked around the room.

"This place reeks of death more than the pit caves Ra's used. If you didn't come back, then why does it smell so bad?"

Jason was more connected to the pit than his other family members who'd been around them, Tim knew he wasn't lying about the smell. A trickle of cold creeped down his back as he started getting an idea as to what caused it. He didn't want to be right.

His older brother had redoubled his investigation, trying to pinpoint the source of the stench. Eyes finally landing on his bedside table, he swept the stack of papers onto the floor and grabbed the previously obscured ice statue. Tim's creeping feeling got stronger as his brother slowly turned to face him, green seeping into his normally blue eyes.

"Where the hell did you get this?" Jason asked with forced calm, gripping the statuette so hard Tim thought it might crumble.

"A friend gave it to me," he replied smoothly. It was the truth, his friend made him the statue of suspiciously never melting ice and he didn't question it.

The first twisting the collar of his hospital gown told him he maybe should have, as he was yanked forwards, pulling at the wires and tubes attached to him. Nearly off the bed now, Jason asked with Lazarus green in his eyes. "Who. Gave. You. This?"

Tim struggled to keep the groan of pain from escaping him. The drainage tube in his chest was being pulled in a very not fun way, and he would really like to not have Alfred redo his work in patching him up.

"I told you, I got it from a friend," he ground out.

Jason was about to say something else when an invisible force knocked him to the side and off his feet. The room dropped twenty degrees and the lights started flickering as Tim could feel hands on him. Cold and too long to be human, they kept him from falling forward off the bed and face planting on the floor. Gingerly laying him back down, his friend made sure nothing was taken out or reopened before raising in the air. Tim could feel the anger radiating off his friend in frigid waves, falling heavy like mist off dry ice and charged with electricity.

Jason could feel it too, as he looked exactly where Tim knew Arcturus was floating and pointed, hand cupping his cheek and still holding the statue.

"How the hell did you get a pit demon as a pet?!" He exclaimed.

Confused, Tim asked "what the hell is a pit demon?"

He watched as his brother looked from him to Arcturus and back, face cemented in shock and disbelief.

"You mean you don't know what the hell this is?!" Jason waves his arms in his friend's general direction. "Why are you not freaked out by this then?!"

The cold anger had died down some, replaced by static white noise and breaking ice. Shrugging as best he could, Tim replied, "he's not the weirdest thing I've seen, and he's pretty friendly too."

Jason was thrown. Could Tim not see the black cloud of twisted human floating in front of him? With eyes greener than Lazarus water on an expanse of black, hair dancing and jerking like it was underwater and getting electrocuted at the same time. The thing was only vaguely human shaped, a black cloud in the form of a body with no legs, and arms clad in white gloves ending in claws long and sharp enough to be daggers. He didn't want to look at it for long, its beady eyes stared right into his soul and face contorted into a snarl that held too many teeth for anything natural.

Tim still looked confused, why was he confused? Jason was about to get re-killed by something the pit water inside him curled up and cowered in fear of. He doubted he stood a snowball's chance in hell against this thing and his brother was sitting there like nothing was wrong. 

Okay, Danny clearly missed a memo before flying into his friend's rescue, so he's maybe a little confused on some things. Like firstly, Tim wasn't actually acting like he was in danger from this guy, despite him nearly pulling out all the equipment helping Tim to heal. His friend looked confused and mildly annoyed at most by New Guy's presence. Secondly, New Guy stank. Rotting ectoplasm stench seeped from him like he got dipped in a zone waste pool. Other than the green tinged in his eyes, though, he seemed otherwise okay, which was just another point of confusion. Lastly, his thoughts echoed what Tim had asked before. What the hell was a pit demon?

"I'm not a pet," he grumbled offhandedly. He knew neither human could understand him—ghost speak couldn't be made by human mouths or processed entirely by human brains. Regular people just heard crackling static and creaking glaciers with emotional intent when he spoke it. He turned to check on Tim more thoroughly when he heard an unexpected reply.

"Then why the hell is a pit demon staying around my little brother," Jason breathed. Replying to the things grumbling wasn't the smartest thing to do, but the fact that something he thought wasn't even sentient had said something he could understand had basically turned his brain off.

That couldn't have been directed at Danny, could it? Maybe not going human for a while had him hearing things. Checking Tim over again helped his form settle at least, but now his brain spun with the possibilities. Also, this dude was Tim's big brother? Pretty dick move of him to hurt Tim for their first meeting then. Not even Dick did that.

Tim was still looking between Jason and Arct. Did his brother just reply to the static hissing he'd heard before? Was that actually his friend trying to communicate? But then how could Arct understand English? And lastly.

"You didn't answer my question Jason—what's a pit demon, and why do you think there's one in this room?" If Jason knew what his friend was then maybe they could figure out a way to communicate better.

Okay, so apparently Tim didn't know what the affront to nature tucking him in was, that was fine. Jason had to swallow down the bile working its way up his throat. At least the thing's form had settled enough he could look at it now. It was almost- Jason couldn't say human looking. With purple tinged skin, pointed ears and fingers, and eyes that shone brighter and greener than any pit he'd come across, no way could this thing actually pass for human. Didn't stop it from trying though, it had formed actual legs while Jason had been staring, making the thing about as tall as he was. The clothes it was wearing, a baggy black hoodie and cargo pants almost made the thing resemble a teenager, one who prefers comfort and function over style. Its gaze swept over him and he'd realized he hadn't said anything for too long.

Keeping his eyes on the demon next to his brother, Jason stood up on shaking legs.

"A pit demon is just what it sounds like, a thing that couldn't possibly be human that crawled out of a Lazarus pit. Surprised demon brat hasn't already tried to chase it off, but I remember something about only those 'chosen by the pit' being able to see it or some shit. Don't remember much else other than that they're extremely violent and attack anything with a heartbeat."

Well, Tim was at a loss. His friend was supposedly from a race that came out of the Lazarus pits to attack people, yet so far his friend has only hurt those who hurt Tim first. He turned his gaze to where he felt his friend standing, remembering what he could of when they'd saved him. Sure, Arcturus wasn't human, but he wasn't that monstrous, right?

"That's bullshit," came out of Danny before he could stop himself. So that's what people thought of the ghosts that used the waste pools? He knew they could be used to travel between the zone and the human world, but they stank of rotting ectoplasm too much for him to ever want to try it. Sighing he used a bit of intangibility to swipe the statuette out of Tim's brothers—Jason's?—hand. Only revelling slightly from the full body jerk he caused in doing so.

Okay, so, Jason wasn't hearing things before. He clearly heard the thing speak. It was also aware of how terrifying it was if the smile at making Jason recoil was anything to go off.

"You do realize this thing is horrifying to look at, right?" He told his brother, not taking his eyes off the thing that could potentially eviscerate the whole house.

Tim's eyes grew wide. "You can see them?!" He exclaimed in surprise.

Danny's words echoed Tim's almost perfectly. "You can see me?" The static in his voice popping like a live wire as he sat the statuette down on the nightstand.

"Yeah I can see you, ya freak of nature. How'd you end up in Gotham? There aren't any pits for you to crawl out from near here." Was Jason possibly inciting the anger of the thing that could rip him to shreds? Yes, yes he was, but he had to know whether or not a new pit had formed close to Gotham in case the League came a-calling.

"Ancients, you can understand me?!" Danny had to keep his eyes from going beyond human wide. He was talking to someone that wasn't dead. In ghost speak! Was it a side effect of the waste water in his system, maybe? How it got there was a question he didn't need to know right now as he just looked at the guy that had answered him.

"Yeah?" Jason drawled wearily, that was not the reaction he expected. "You sound like you're talking over a Tesla coil, but you're speaking English, right?" He looked to his brother for aid but only saw the calculated look all bats used when they didn't want to openly appear confused.

Looking back, the thing had risen from its seat, literally. It was floating in a sitting position about two feet above the chair.

"I've never heard of a human that could understand ghost speak before!" The thing said excitedly.

"And I've never known a pit demon that could speak at all before," he replied without thinking.

The thing cocked its head. "Well most ghosts that use the waste pools just use them to get into the human world to cause chaos, not to talk. Any ghost with any ounce of self respect would either find a natural portal or make one." 

"Ghost? Portals? Are you saying pit demons are dead people? And that they come to earth through more than just the Lazarus pits?" That was a terrifying thought. More monsters coming to earth from ways other than the pits? Who knows what destruction they could—have already—cause. "There any way to stop them?"

"No? Natural portals are random, and ghosts that can make portals themselves prefer to stay in the zone where it's safe? Why should I even be telling you this, you don't look like you have the weapons to fight a ghost. Who are you anyway?"

Jason looked at his brother (who looked entirely lost at this point) back to the pit demon—ghost?—that was watching him with suspicion, feet back in the ground and firmly seated in the chair.

"Hey, Replacement," he chuckled but cut it to a cough at the things scowl. "You haven't told your buddy about me yet? I'm hurt, really."

Finally being included into the conversation, and it was to introduce the asshole of a brother to his possibly terrifying friend? Tim sighed and waved his good hand at the end of the bed.

"Arcturus, this is my older adoptive brother, Jason Todd, aka Red Hood. Jason, this-" he motioned to the chair "-is my new friend, I call him Arcturus because he can't say his real name."

Jason snorts and finally peels his eyes off the dead thing in front of him. "Really Timmy? You see what is essentially an eldritch terror and decide to name it after a star?" At his little brother's blush he couldn't help but laugh. "How cheesy can you get?" He said between breaths.

Meanwhile, Danny was having a crisis. He had punched Red Hood. In the face. He had punched his favourite Gotham vigilante in the face. Ancients end him right now. He wanted to scream.

"I just my favourite vigilante in the face for my friend," he groaned instead, putting his face in his hands.

Jason had to laugh harder at that. He couldn't help it, you couldn't make this shit up if you tried.

"Hey Timmy," he wheezed. "Your friend here just said I'm his favourite vigilante. Take that!"

Without looking up Danny took one hand off his face to point at Red Hood (ancients, Red Hood, his helmet was on the floor beside him how did he not notice?!)

"Second favourite," was all he could muster while reconsidering his half-life choices.

At the confused squawk of "hey!" He smirked and added, "Red Robin isn't an ass, so he got you beat there." 

By the way Jason was pouting and the room finally went back to its regular temperature, Tim could at least tell they weren't at each other's throats anymore.

"What did he say?" Tim asked.

"I've been demoted to second favourite. Dead guy can't handle sass." The reply had him chuckling, definitely not hostile anymore, that was good.

"Sounds like another dead guy I know," he commented. The look Jason gave him could have been angry, if the indignant undertone didn't make it so funny.

Huh, so the whole 'Jason Todd died but got better' thing wasn't just a rumour then. Interesting.

"So you're such a sore loser you came back just to spite death? Talk about petty," he joked at the vigilante as he lifted his face out of his hand. Another thing to have in common with one of his favourite heroes (anti-heroes?), they just couldn't stay dead.

Jason clicked his tongue at the ghost, "whatever you Kirby villain reject." The bark of laughter from his right and the stuttering in front of him had him feeling a lot better about his brother's safety. Yeah, he might not be able to beat the thing in front of him, but maybe he wouldn't have to. The fact that he could think clearly after not feeling the pit move since Tim's friend appeared helped.

"Alright, as fun as this meet and greet was, I need to head back to the Narrows." His brother's laughter died down as he slapped his knees and stood up. Still keeping a safe distance from Tim's dead friend he grabbed his discarded helmet and put his domino mask back on.

"Oh yeah," he heard Tim call out from behind him, "why'd you even come in the first place? I know you didn't do it just to annoy me."

Jason was glad he'd reasserted his domino mask as he half turned to view his brother. He looked him up and down one last time with a conflicted expression before turning back to walk out.

"A guy can be worried for his brother sometimes, give me some credit," he confided as he left for his bike.

The silence followed the rumble of Jason's bike out of the cave. That was not what Tim was expecting in this conversation at all. Jason came to check on him? He was worried about Tim? Shock couldn't begin to describe the mix of emotions he was feeling with that revelation.

A hum to his right brought him out of his musings as he turned his head to look at the space where his friend should be.

"So, that was my brother Jason." He huffed. "He's kind of an asshole, but he's family. The pit messed with his head a bit so he has some anger issues. Also I took over as Robin after he died, and since he's come back has pretty much thought of me as a replacement. I'm pretty sure he only uses the nickname as a joke now, though." That sounded better in his head. "He's seriously not that bad a guy though," he added on more as an afterthought.

He watched as the statuette lifted off its base as his friend showed he acknowledged the statement. A burst of cold then hit Tim square in the face. That was his friend's sign he was being self deprecating and, yeah, he kind of deserved that.

Comfortable silence enveloped the two as they both individually processed the encounter. The statue floating about half a foot off the seat of the chair in what Tim supposed was Arcturus' lap. He realized Jason had basically confirmed a few things about Arcturus through talking to him in the conversation Tim could only understand half of.

"Hey," the model twitched, "you can speak English, right? Not just that static noise that lets me tell what you're feeling?"

One dip of the statue means that yes, his friend could speak to him if he wanted to.

"Is there some reason you don't then? A reason you don't speak directly to me?" He watched as the statue stayed floating in its position for a moment, then almost reluctantly dipped a 'yes.'

"Why then?" The static that filled the room was charged with paranoia and distrust. It hurt, just a bit, but it didn't all feel directed at him.

"Do you not trust me then?" A rapid jerk to the side must count for a big 'no,' which made him feel a little better.

"…Maybe you don't trust my family?" Tim had found that if the statue didn't move, then he was halfway to the answer. Mulling the statement over a moment it dawned on him, it was stupid of him not to have realized sooner.

"You don't trust the bats, do you?" The statue dipping again meant 'yes' and tilted almost vertically. Was his friend showing he was ashamed in doing that? It didn't sting Tim quite as much as his friend not trusting him and he knew Bruce alone made a lot of reasons for any supernatural creature to stay out of Gotham. Tim turned his head to look at his lap as the gears spun in his head.

"Why did you stick around me then? I'm Red Robin, a part of Gotham's protectors, weren't I someone you should have avoided?" Maybe Tim didn't want to know the answer, but he had to ask for the safety of his family. If his friend got close to him just to get to his family, well, maybe Tim wasn't as smart as he thought he was.

The crunching sound of boots under snow mixed with a tuning radio had Tim feeling things he hadn't in a while. Curiosity and childish glee filled his chest with a warmth that was almost bringing tears to his eyes. Wiping away the damp he turned back to his friend with a smile.

"You can trust me, you know. Maybe you don't right now, and that's okay. But I promise I'll get you to trust me eventually." His voice was dripping with conviction that for once wasn't forced.

And if the hum he got back wasn't charged with emotion and only gave off a little reverb? Well, he could keep that to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y'know, when I originally rote this chapter I thought 'Kirby villain reject' was suck a great insult for something that looked like Danny. It just fits him, given his eldretch-ness in this fic.

Also, Kidnappable should absolutely be a real word. Calling it now.

Also also! This chapter has fanart! You can find it here!

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