#don't do bean's method

[askteamhooligans]

To Everyone, as someone who suffers from insomnia and has to take sleeping medicine that sometimes doesn't work. How often do you guys have trouble sleeping, and what do you do to help fall asleep?

Fang: "Everyone's sleep schedule is different, just hope those pills actually kick in for ya or anything that can work will get you some good rest."

Bean: "say Corsen how do you-"

Corsen: " UHH AAA NEXT QUESTION PLEASE SORRY!"

[leatherbookmark]

a kind warning: hey this post contains the word that you filtered, "pregnant"

me: huh, wonder what that's about, lemme view it

post: has a pregnancy mention in in

me: ah! ouh aweugh theres pregnancy mention in here

the kind warning, presumably:

[sunderwight]

Thinking about what if SJ had left the Qiu manor a little earlier (some other final straw breaks the camel's back sooner), and actually manages to get a lead on YQ and follows it to Cang Qiong Mountain while YQ is in the thick of his "locked suffering in a cave" arc.

SJ arrives and is immediately struck by the needle-in-a-haystack-ness of the situation. The population of all the peaks put together is huge, and he has no clout to leverage, no reason to get people to care what he's there for and a strong reluctance to tip his hand about... basically anything. Even totally earnest intentions to find his childhood friend.

So SJ skips the usual disciple trials (none are being held at the time he arrives anyway) and just steals a disciple uniform for An Ding. An Ding has a lot of outer disciples. SJ doesn't even know which peak it is, he just sees the place that has the most faceless/nameless lackeys doing grunt work and goes okay, I bet they don't always know all their own by name and face, and he's correct.

The bluff works hilariously well. When he gets back to An Ding with his "fellow" disciples he just finds an unused storage room to sleep in, and even when he gets sort-of caught out at it the shixiong who catches him just bemoans the hazing/bullying on the peaks. When SJ establishes that he's fine sleeping in the store room, Shang-shixiong even bribes him to keep his mouth shut about the "bullying epidemic" by giving him a proper cot and blankets to use. So SJ doesn't even have to deal with being in a dorm.

He multitasks actually learning what cultivation he can from the other An Ding disciples and masters, and investigating all the other latest arrivals to the peaks. It isn't long before Shang-shixiong spills the beans about the rising star of Qiong Ding Peak, who came from apparently nowhere during the selection trials, matches Yue Qi's description, has the same surname, and disappeared mysteriously a few weeks ago.

Shen Jiu's gut twists around at word of the disappearance. He is all too aware of the kinds of things it usually means when handsome, talented boys with no family or backing just disappear mysteriously all of a sudden. He's heard things about the sort of uses cultivators have for people with a lot of raw talent and not a lot of knowledge or protection, too. Qiu Jianluo used to make it a point to explain exactly what SJ's cultivation talents could be used for (cauldron stuff), both as a threat and also as a warning against him trying to go outside and find a master. Even Yue Qi had sort of tried to warn him, in his own way, by demanding SJ always keep it a secret.

Yue Qi might have believed that the righteous cultivators in an official sect wouldn't stoop to such dirty, underhanded methods, and might have thought he was safe here. SJ holds no such optimistic illusions. The An Ding peak lord give every impression of the same kind of sycophantic public servants who used to take kickbacks from wealthier families in his home city, and even only glimpsed at a distance, the sect leader gives him the creeps.

Anyway, SJ eventually figures out that something is up with the Ling Xi caves, goes down and finds a sealed-off cavern with just a few cracks he can peer through. Cue reversal of the last time he saw Yue Qi, with the older boy now being the one locked away by a cruel master, and SJ having to whisper reassurances and promises of rescue.

[themuseinthewoods]

Headcanons for asking the men of troy if you can ride their face.

Female reader. Married to the guys cause uh, ancient Greece.

18+ content

Achilles, Hector, Paris and Odysseus because Patroclus is a child. An innocent bean. Never.

So, this is my first time writing NSFW content so I am sorry it isn't good but it's an effort. A very explicit effort

NSFW under cut. This is embarrassing I feel like I should explain myself but have you seen these men?! Like have you?!

Achilles the things that this movie presented us with

I am already of the opinion that he sees your orgasm as an accomplishment

Ooh boy

I have a personal headcanon that he can and will throw you over his shoulder when he wants to do Satan's Ramba so he's gonna do that here

Might make you wait after promising to do so just to be an ass

But might I remind you that he is your ass

Grips your thighs while he ravishes you with his tongue and staring up at you with that fine face framed by your thighs

very pretty sight

Grip his hair and pull him closer and he will finally feel wanted for something other then fighting like you didn't want him for other things 🙄

Cocky bastard, will never let you live it down but at the same time he enjoys doing it to you

Likes giving you oral anyway so I'd say he's a 10/10

Hector bae

Okay so-

At first, he's flustered

Let's assume you blurt it out, cheeks flushed as you are embarrassed because of what you are requesting

But uh

You asked for it didn't you?

He has to please his queen, doesn't he? 😉

Well, are you going to be sore hehehe

But also, now he is kinda hooked on eating you out

Side rant!

he will come back from a stressful meeting or something and just lose himself in your thighs before he rams you into the bed

Back to main topic

Grips your thighs or hips when your above him

Might come up with an a system of hair pulling code so you can tell him what you want or need when he has you to much of a mess to speak

10/10, the looks he gives you from between your thighs 👀

Paris

ok, so ik I don't like Paris a lot as a character buttt, I understand the appeal okay? Orlando Bloom was in his prime

you think you are the one who suggests this?

Paris heard about it

And begged you to try it

Your worried about suffocating him but he assures you that it is fine

Full honesty, he isn't very good at first

But I'll be damned if he isn't a fast learner

Makes it his mission to become the best

Actively gets stronger from holding you up when you go weak from the sensations and his brother notices that his lil bro is suddenly a lil more built in the arms

That leads to some awkward conversations but Hector ain't telling, might be kind enough to give pointers though

is the kinda guy who would love a 69

9/10 because I think he might be a tad sloppy at first

Odysseus

This man does it to get something from you

could be information or help or anything really

At least the first time

But, he kinda starts to enjoy it

Questions everything

Comes up with different methods just because

Does it to "simulate his thoughts"

The only thing being stimulated is your clit-

so, uh yeah. Awkward coughing fit of embarrassment

8/10 because of the bs excuses

I'm tagging @streets-in-paradise because I really want her opinion lol. Her blog has more great stuff for Troy!

[bitchapalooza]

Random little HCs

Sanji doesn't drink coffee, or caffeine in general, often because it makes him shake + causes him anxiety. And if he drinks it before bed, it usually makes his nightmares worse.

Zoro strictly never drinks coffee/caffeine. It doesn't have much to do with shaking or anxiety, he just grew up being told it was really bad for him and was thus banned from having any. He prefers booze or uncaffeinated tea. Or tea with booze in it. Booze with tea in it. Booze.

When Luffy says he likes coffee he's not talking about the drink, he's talking about the unbrewed beans.

Nami's favorite childhood meal is a piece of bread with jam on it. Not toasted, just a slice of bread with a dollop of jam. Or if she's feeling extra homesick, bread with jam and sprinkles. It makes her incredibly happy when Sanji brings out a whole plate of bread with jam. Yeah she likes the finer things as much as anyone else but just like the tangerines, this little treat reminds her so much of Bellemere and Nojiko and when things felt simpler.

There's a first aid kit stashed in every possible place on the Sunny and it's a precaution put in place specifically because of Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.

Usopp made Zoro a prosthetic glass eye but he doesn't really use it—one reason is because his eyelids are too lax now so even when he's putting an effort into opening that eye, it still sags. Another reason is because Usopp thought he was being funny and made the pupil into a little heart and it's too embarrassing to use. Nami makes him wear it when they're supposed to be undercover and, again, it's so embarrassing lmao

Usopp learned ventriloquism when he was little and Zoro knows how to do it, too, so together they like to freak Brook, Nami, and Sanji out making them think the ship is haunted. They don't do it to Chopper though because last time they did they had to buy him a whole new set of glass vials.

Usopp once taught Chopper how to use clay and now everyone has personalized (misshapen) mugs (that they can't actually drink out of).

When a cold is going around the ship Brook will pretend he also came down with it so he doesn't feel left out.

Even with loaded dice or other methods of cheating Zoro would still somehow lose.

Nami talks in her sleep, Sanji sleep walks/talks and kicks in his sleep, Zoro only snores when he's sleeping on his back and he grinds his teeth (should really be using a mouth guard), Robin shifts a lot in her sleep, Luffy occasionally sleep talks but for the most part he snores.

[celesse]

Hello! I wanted to ask this question and I hope it doesn't come across as rude, but I've noticed that you have several of your designs at hot topic. I saw the "Toby's beans" design in store and noticed HT wants a little less money for your design from them compared to the one on your personal store. I was wondering if it's due to HT being a "big chain" and listing prices this way because they are a Corp or if there is a quality difference. I've been eyeballing some of your designs and I'd 100% rather buy directly from you to support you (even more if the quality is better) but I couldn't help but wonder what the difference, if any, would be!

Hi there, no worries! I'm happy to explain the differences.

The lower pricing for HT has several contributing factors, the biggest one being that they can do the kind of volume I can't do myself. HT also stocks standard cotton shirts that are printed with standard plastisol screen printing (this kind of printing gives prints that sort of light plastic feel). The print is still nice and the shirt itself is fine, and all these things allow for a lower price point.

The ones in my artist shop are premium quality shirts (usually Bella Canvas) and printed with discharge screen printing, which is a method that basically dyes the print into the garment so you don't feel it at all. The fabric is really soft, so that plus the no-feel print makes for a super comfy shirt. It just comes at a higher price point.

Buying direct is always the best option if you can, as I get higher profit for each direct sale, but buying from HT shows them that my designs are desirable. So either way helps me out, it's just up to the individual customer on what kind of price point or level of quality they want :)

I hope that helps!

[heartavenue]

༉‧₊˚. A Pinkalicious Guide: How To Become A Master Shifter

Disclaimer: I know there are some people on here that do not like the law of assumption (no, I am not being shady it has just come to my attention) so if you do NOT like mentions of the law this post is not for you.

First of all...why was this the most voted? Ya'll have to start trusting yourselves more goodness me! My answer may disappoint but it all comes back down to your assumptions.

Let me tell y'all a little story mm? So we're back in 2021 and young Love is consuming hours upon hours of shifting content. She's listening to people tell her, "You have to put in effort." "You can't do nothing and shift." "You have to use the lucid dream method." "You have to do xyz."

And all of that I did, until I discovered the law and realized that it was all bullshit. I had to stop letting these random people influence my journey. You don't have to put in effort, because shifting is effortless. You can do nothing and shift. You don't have to use any particular method, or a method for any matter. And you damn sure don't have to do anything to "get" you there.

However, with all that being said there is one thing that you make you a master shifter.

"But Love you just said there isn't anything."

And that is still true because there isn't anything except the assumption. Whatever you assume to be true, will be true.

So why not just skip the middle man and go straight to the end? That's it! Live in the end! Creation is fished! How to become a master shifter assume that you are one. However I did say "guide" so I will deliver! Here we go:

1.Take What Resonates

I can not stress this enough do not do something because someone else said that you should. If you don't want to do something then DON'T! Let's take me for example, I hate guided meditations so why on EARTH would I listen to them? I don't like subliminals, so I don't listen to them. It's as simple as that.

2. Stop Overconsuming

I promise you that you know more than what you think you know. You have GOT to trust yourself. When you get done reading this, log off. I am so serious, don't consume anymore content. You know what to do, I already said it twice before but here is it again; assume. You guys voted for this because you don't trust yourself, you would rather me or some other blogger tell you what you already know.

3. Assume, Decide, Be.

You want to know how I became a master shifter? I decided I was. It's that easy, it's that simple. One day I woke up and I thought to myself, "You know what Love, I am tired of other people running MY life. I tired of having to do a different method praying to the universe that it's going to work this time. So instead of doing all of that nonsense, I am just going to decide that I am a master shifter, and I shift everytime I want to without fail.

And that's another thing, failure doesn't exist unless you allow it. Assume you shift everytime you intend to without fail. Decide that you are a master shifter and most importantly be that. There is no point of constantly affirming that you're a master shifter if you are constantly looking for external validation.

I feel like it gets to a point in every shifters journey where you just have to realize that nobody can shift you but you, yes there are people (like me) who are willingly to help you. But at the end of the day to shift that is all you.

Now It's Time For A Horrible Analogy!

Imagine you are a chef right? And you've been making red beans & rice for awhile, once you started you may have needed a recipe right because you didn't know what you were doing. But when you got comfortable, and you started taking matters into your own hands you no longer needed a recipe. Now making that red beans & rice is instinct, it's second nature to you. You know exactly how much water to cook your beans in without measuring it, you know exactly how much of every seasoning to put into your dish. And you know what the kicker is? It comes out perfect everytime.

Be the chef, cook that red beans & rice (damn it now I'm hungry) you know how to make it! You don't need a recipe, you made it yours and it's utter perfection.

Be that master shifter, shift, you know how to do it! You don't need a method (however if that is what resonates with you then be my guest) you made your shifting journey yours and it's utter perfection. The way I may like my red beans & rice may not be the way you like yours, but as long as we are both satisfied with the end result then who cares really?

Let's Wrap It Up Now!

Just assume that you are a master shifter, make that decision, and be that person. Do what YOU want to do, if you don't wanna use methods, then don't. If you love doing the raven method, then do it! This is your recipe as long as it comes out good to you then its perfect!

At the end of the day it all comes back down to your assumptions, you can shift whichever way you assume to go about it. Personally? I embody the state of being a master shifter, I know that I'm in my desired reality, I know it is not seperate from me, and I know that the physical irrelevant.

But that's my recipe, what's yours?

What inspired me to make this was @gh0ul1sh-grimm although they deactivated their account, @luryona posted the screenshots so I'll link the post:

https://www.tumblr.com/luryona/779003731992772608/they-deactivated-their-acc-they-do-think?source=share

I think it's an amazing read so go check it out!

[cosmic-slumber-party]

Training with Sanemi Shinazugawa

As his tsuguko

CW: Swearing, mentions of injuries

💨 As his tsugoku, you go through many hours of very tedious training. Of course, you can take it though, Sanemi would not have chosen you if you couldn't. This doesn't change the fact that you are always exhausted by the end of the day. Some days you don't even finish until morning.

💨 He is very hard on you, to the point you think he may hate you sometimes, but he just wants you to survive. If at the end of the day you come home, he has done his job.

💨 Sanemi is the hardest on you after he comes back from a mission, as he is reminded just how ruthless demons can be.

💨 When you get back from your own missions, Sanemi makes sure that you get the best care at the butterfly mansion. He will go a little easier on you after you have recovered, but it doesn't last long. He doesn't want you to keep getting injured by demons, so he needs to go even harder on you.

💨 If you come home completely unscathed, he becomes very proud. He doesn't show it though.

"No injuries this time? Must have been a weakass demon."

You know this means he's relieved.

💨 He may have a little say on what your next assignments may be. If they are ever suspiciously easy, you just know it was that stoic and aggressive Hashira.

💨 If you ever come home very injured, he beats himself up thinking about where he went wrong with training. As you get better, he comes up with different methods to help you defend yourself better. At first you thought he was punishing you for not being good enough, but with time you learned that this was his way of protecting you.

💨 You have had a couple Hashira come up to you asking if you want to be their tsuguko instead. Like Mitsuri and Tengen. Whenever Sanemi hears this, he immediately gets pissed off.

"Oh come on L/N! Come back with me and be my tsuguko. We can eat sweets together. I promise I won't be mean to you like Shinazugawa."

At the Love Hashira's words, Sanemi scowls. "Like you could train a tsuguko. L/N needs training not sweets. What are sweets going to do to a demon?"

You continue training, but do notice that the next day someone has left some red bean mochi in your room.

💨 Going on assignments with one another is always fun and stressful. He knows he can let you do your thing, but he always keeps an eye out for you.

💨 Overall, he is a great trainer and person. After some time, you both consider each other close companions. Both putting your own lives on the line for the other.

[miltonthoughts]

Had a few headcanons/ideas about Ford taking care of child!reader as his own kid and then Stan having to take care of child!reader after the portal incident- here ya go!

Inspiration for this post was from this! And the timeline was from this post here!

-

Pre-Portal incident

• In 1974, Ford found you abandoned outside his cabin one night when you were a baby. He didn’t know who your parents were but was reluctant to take you in.

• Ford soon realized that he enjoyed taking care of you, as it made him feel less lonely and more loved. He felt even happier when you started to speak and try to communicate with him, even though most of your words were just baby talk. He was proud of you, though.

• A few years passed, and you were now 8 years old. Ford couldn't have been prouder. He was happy to call you his child, especially when you referred to him as a dad. You didn't have to, after all, he had told you that he wasn't your biological father, but you didn't care and simply loved him.

• He will tell you stories of his adventures while searching for anomalies, and you'll be amazed by his tales of capturing and documenting them. He even shows you his journals so you can see the visuals of the anomalies.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was eating jelly beans with a side of popcorn and watching sci-fi movies. It's comforting for you and Ford as a family bonding time.

• He calls you his "jelly bean" too, which makes you a little embarrassed but you don’t mind it at all.

During paranoia period

• Ford started to get more paranoid and a bit unhinged that you couldn’t understand at the time, you were a kid after all. He will reassure you that he was fine but you can tell something was off with your dad.

• One night, you had a night terror. Ford immediately came to your side when you wouldn't stop screaming and thrashing your limbs aggressively. You don't remember what you dreamed about, but Ford seems to know, and he didn't look pleased.

• You started to feel more lonely after Ford had started to hang in his basement. You weren’t allowed down there so you had to wait for hours for him to come up. You miss him a lot.

Portal incident

• One day, a man who looked like your dad arrived, except he had a mullet and a rougher appearance. It turned out that he was your dad's twin brother! You were briefly introduced to your uncle before Ford told you to stay put upstairs while he and his brother, Stan, went down to the basement. You frowned at that.

• Oh, but you couldn’t help yourself! You had to know what your dad was doing, more so after you heard a lot of yelling between the two adults.

• As you got down into the basement, all you saw was your dad ascending towards a glowing blue light. You froze, you didn’t know what to do before screaming and running after him. Stan looks behind him towards you before the portal closes and gets wrecked in the process.

• You passed out due to the overwhelming sensation after the portal closed. Soon, you woke up on the couch and heard a commotion in the kitchen. At first, you thought it was your dad, but as you peeked out, it was your uncle Stan, and he looked wrecked.

• It was a difficult situation for Stan to explain to you why your father wasn't here at the moment. You couldn't comprehend why your dad had left you behind.

• Stan soon starts to realize that you don’t exactly remember how your dad exactly "left". Your memories were too fuzzy when remembering about the portal. Believing it was a dream or another night terror you had again.

Teen years period

• The year was 1987, and you were now 13 years old. Your uncle, Stan, had raised you since you were 8 years old. Your memories about the incident were still fuzzy to you, especially more when you tried to remember about your dad, Ford. It's almost like he didn’t exist in the first place.

• Uncle Stan tried his best to take care of you, though his parenting methods were questionable. Still, he had a good heart and tried teaching you the hardest he could.

• He taught you some boxing lessons too so you’ll be able to defend yourself after you've been picked on by a few bullies in town. You appreciated your Uncle Stan wanting the best for you.

• You did once accidentally called Stan, dad one time. He didn’t let it up and embarrassed you about it for a whole month. Didn’t mean it made him cry a little.

• Whenever you question Stan about Ford, he’s reluctant to give you answers. Sometimes, he would change the topic when the question was too much to bare to answer. You didn’t want him to get upset so you dropped the subject entirely.

• Your favorite activity to do with him was making new fuzzy creatures for the mystery shack he hosted during the days. It was fun and made you laugh when Stan would give voices for your creations you made.

-

That’s all I got! I will make a part 2 when the reader is an adult and their reaction towards when ford comes back too!!

[ckret2]

Do you think Alex is ever going to give us the full context of Bill's past? It's not really up to interpretation, it was written, there is a canonical story and it's just sitting there.

The mere fact that TBOB got publish throws out a lot of "do you think we'll ever get—?" assumptions I would've made a year ago. But even so, I still don't think so.

At this point I think we don't know because he, specifically, doesn't want us to know—as opposed to "wants us to find out later." This feels, to me, not like a "ooOOooh big mystery! Wonder what it is ;) wonder if we'll ever find out ;) ;)" secret but like a "knowing would be less satisfying than the mystique of wondering" secret—like, not knowing the full details is a part of the story. The movie monster is always scarier when you can't see it—and I think that's the goal with the Euclidean Massacre. We're only allowed to see enough of its outline to imagine the horror.

We know what we're supposed to know about Bill: that he was a freak who saw a truth no one else did, and he was so desperate to be believed and admired that he did something stupid that cost him—and his world—everything.

The mechanics of how he did it are minor in comparison. Did he summon an eldritch god that set Euclydia on fire, did he cast a spell that was supposed to peel everyone off their dimension like stickers off of paper, did he smack the dimension with a really big hammer and break it? Did he get his powers by absorbing sunlight from the nearest 3D star like superman, did he make a deal with the Axolotl, did he get his strength by cannibalizing his entire planet?

As fans, we want to know, sure. But from a storytelling perspective, the magical macguffin invented to justify how he burned his world/got his powers isn't as important as the character arc. Who cares if he waved a magic rainbow fairy wand and cracked Euclydia in two?? The real story is his apocalyptic desperation to be accepted.

So, if we were building up to a big reveal, it would make a lot more sense to give away the smaller secret (how he did it) before the bigger and more emotionally important secret (why he did it).

Like how in canon, we learn Stan's working on the portal first before we learn the far more important secret about why: to save his brother. If we'd found out Stan is trying to rescue his secret twin and then half a season later learned about the portal... well, that would've been kinda lame in comparison, wouldn't it? Not nearly as emotionally impactful.

Now that we know why Bill did it... finding out how would be kinda lame in comparison. If there were anything of deep emotional significance in the method of how he destroyed his dimension, I think it woulda been in the book.

If we ever do find out, I suspect it'd be for some brand new project thought up in the future that wasn't in the works during TBOB, and it'll be in service to that story. (Like how we got the Axolotl and his connection to Bill years ago, but it wasn't until Alex started working on TBOB that he actually thought up the Theraprism and finally came up with a way to use the Ax.) Either that or it'll be like during a charity stream where some filthy rich fan pays $10k for Alex to spill the beans.

[twstfanblog]

*~Thanks Give Me~* Pt 2

A/N: Second part ready and served! The third part will be posted tomorrow, so look forward to those vignettes XD Word Count: 5.1K Pairings: Barely seen Ruggie/Leona Warnings: Swearing

Prev/Next

The two weeks leading up to the dinner were surprisingly peaceful. Everyone took their tasks seriously, even Leona came to Ramshackle to offer more monetary support a day after the meeting.

(“Just use my card to buy food for the dinner. Seven knows that Ruggie can eat…”

“Oh don't worry, he already gave me your bank info.”

“...”)

It was endlessly entertaining to watch both Sebek and Silver struggle to not spill the beans to an excited Lilia. The retired general hadn't figured anything out as far as they could tell, but he could see their friend group were all prepping for something. It was also hilarious watching Malleus launch his godfather into the stratosphere whenever Sebek nearly told the smaller third-year about the dinner.

Rook had disappeared for nearly a week, only returning with a massive freezer chest and a profound sense of pride a few days before the dinner. Inside said chest was a plucked turkey the size of a small velociraptor. The junior was all too pleased to recount the method of how he got the bird. His eldest sister, Reine, had been eager to let him hunt down a very aggressive tom on her wildlife preserve.

Yuu was just lucky Rook had provided the magically chilled chest and that their oven knew when best to defy the laws of physics.

Cater had been texting them almost nonstop, trying to clear up what his job task of ‘gay cousin’ was even supposed to mean. Yuu would simply respond with winking emojis, much to his displeasure.

Kalim had contacted them the night after the housewarden meeting, sounding pitiful as he promised he was able to complete his task. He simply had no idea what China was. Though he wanted to do a crystal set, it would take time to get so many plates, glasses, and platters all custom carved. Not to mention the short notice.

(“Oh that's right, China isn't a place here…um…It's porcelain dishes…Chang’an?”

“Ooooooooh. Yeah I can get us a really nice Chang’an set! With lots of designs and pretty red flowers! Red is a color I can use right? Or maybe traditional blue? I wonder if I can get a full gold set-”)

Jamil had dropped off the set a few days later, stacks upon stacks of gold-rimmed dishes with center designs of a painted red flower in bloom and deeper red swirls along the edges. Just as they had requested, there were plenty of matching serving platters and pots of varying sizes. The vice warden also asked for Yuu to find something for him to do. While he wasn't tasked with a job, he felt uncomfortable coming to dinner offering nothing.

Yuu told him if he had to do something, he was welcome to help them clean and sort the metric ton of silverware they still needed to look through for the party. A long afternoon task that ended with Jamil lovingly stating she was complete shit at polishing silverware.

More people were invited, both intentionally and surprisingly. Yuu had approached Crewel, Trein, and Sam privately to ask if they'd like to attend the dinner. They of course had their tasks as everyone else did. Trein was pleasantly amused to know his simple task was ‘Grandpa’ and that Lucius was also invited. Crewel didn't respond but he also didn't throw the invite back in Yuu's face hearing his job was ‘Wine Aunt’. Sam could barely hold in his laughter at his assigned task of ‘Cool Weed-smoking Cousin’.

Jack had called them, asking if his younger siblings could attend the dinner. He had contacted his mother to send her recipe for poached pears, leading her to trap him in an hour-long story that ended on her saying the twins' babysitter had canceled at the last minute. After learning the day in question was the same as the dinner, Jack had offered to bring his younger siblings to NRC for the day if allowed.

Yuu quickly agreed, already reworking the dining room to make room for a kid's table. Along with sending a message to Falena about the dinner and how Cheka would be welcome to come. (Leona texting them only a few minutes later with a variety of foul language).

Before they knew it, the day had arrived. Sebek spent the entire day beforehand and slept over, helping in prep and making the long list of foods that Yuu knew to be holiday staples. Waking up at 6am the day of, they both walked back into the kitchen to continue cooking and verbally clawing at each other until others started to arrive.

The Heartslabyul crew all stood on the Ramshackle front porch, dressed in button-downs and a variety of semi-formal wear. Ace messed with his bow tie, raising an eyebrow while Riddle politely knocked on the Ramshackle front door, “So…why are we here dressed up and with two pies?”

Trey spoke, holding his glass container up, “This is banana pudding, not a pie.”

Deuce frowned, glaring at Ace while he lifted his own container in his hands, “And my eggs!”

“I don't even want to know why you have deviled eggs, Juice. What are we doing here?” Huffing, he raised an eyebrow at Cater primping his own semi-formal clothing, “I hate to ask it, but shouldn’t we be in class?”

“For the dinner. Just try to be on decent behavior.” Riddle looked through the side window of the door, concerned at hearing Yuu and Sebek screaming at each other as he knocked again.

“D-Dinner? What dinner? It's 10am!?”

Trey opened the door after no one answered, keeping a firm grip on his container of pudding, “Yuu? Sebek? We're here.”

The clattering and yelling stopped for a moment, the Heartlabyul crew looking confused at the uncharacteristically closed doors of the kitchen. Yuu opened the double doors, a splattered apron over their pajamas, greeting them with a big smile, “Hey guys! Thanks for coming by so early. Trey, Riddle, you guys can put your stuff in the dining room, I’ll be messing with it to make it all pretty later on.”

Deuce spoke up, holding his container up proudly, “I made deviled eggs!”

Yuu laughed, taking the Tupperware from their friend, “Thank you, Deuce. I’ll make sure to put them in a nice dish. Me and Sebek are still cooking everything else so could you guys make sure Grim hasn’t ripped apart the lounge in protest of being told to wait?”

“Of course. I know my task is to call everyone to the meal, but is there a certain time we join to eat?” Riddle questioned, handing his pie to Trey.

“Hmm. My family normally ate around two or three. But if me and Sebek keep up our pace we should be done by noon or one.”

Ace spoke up, looking around in pure bewilderment, “Tasks? You have guys had tasks?”

Yuu hummed, looking Ace up and down in barely concealed annoyance, “Ace, happy to see you’re on task.”

“I had a task!?”

Sebek’s voice called out from the kitchen, anger clear in his tone, “Stop fraternizing and continue with your own task!”

“Sebek, shut the fuck up and focus on the damn potatoes! And I swear to GOD, if you’re not using the goddamn ricer.” Yuu had started to walk back into the kitchen, brushing off Ace’s confused sputtering as she slammed the kitchen doors behind her.

“I don’t need to use the ricer!”

“You don’t need oxygen!”

Ace turned to Cater, raising an eyebrow, “What was my task!? Be confused!?”

Cater was tapping at his phone, texting Idia to remind him he had promised him he would come to the dinner, “Actually, it was you ‘weren’t invited and came anyway’.”

“...What?”

“Be happy, mine was ‘Gay Cousin’...”

“What?”

More knocks come from the front door, Riddle running over to open it. He smiled, “Oh, you made it-”

“Move, Riddle.” Ruggie shouldered his way past the housewarden, already speed-walking into the dining room.

“...” Riddle turned to the other two Savanaclaw members still on the porch, “As I was saying, welcome. The meal isn't ready yet, so we're gathering in the lounge.”

Leona sighed, eyes almost glazing over, “Of course, we gotta wait more…”

Riddle folded his arms, tilting his head, “Isn’t your job to be a couch potato?”

Leona pointed to his front, “I gotta get this thing entertained and fed…” 

Gripping onto Leona’s two braids like they were handlebars was Cheka in more formal wear than Riddle had ever seen him. The five-year-old swinging lightly but greeted him in joy, “Hi Mr. Riddle!”

“Hello, Cheka.” Riddle looked to Jack, raising an eyebrow seeing no one else with him, “Jack, were your siblings not coming?”

At that moment Riddle finally took notice of two pairs of tiny hands gripping onto each of Jack’s shoulders. Almost in sync, two coal-colored heads peek from under their brother’s hair, big amber eyes blinking at him. From what he could see, they had the same spikey hair pattern as their brother. Both with wolf ears still slightly too big for their heads, one of them having ear tips that matched with Jack’s grey hair.

Jack held up a glass container, “I brought the dessert Yuu asked for. Is there a place she wants me to put it?”

“Hmm…She said to place our dishes in the dining room, but she also wanted to place Deuce’s deviled eggs in a separate dish.”

Leona finally grabbed Cheka, silently demanding the child let go of his braids to hold him properly, “Where is Feral anyway? Aren’t they supposed to be hosting this dinner?”

Riddle looked to the closed kitchen doors, expression vaguely concerned, “Well-”

“Sebek, you better be basting that turkey the same way Silver basts your face! If that turkey is dry, I will marry your mom!”

…

One of Jack’s siblings pulls themselves up higher on his shoulder, gently tugging on Jack’s ear to whisper to him loudly, “What’s basting?”

Jack shoved the container into Riddle’s hands, speed walking down the hall and away from the kitchen of profanity, “Hey, Yuu has a TV. You guys wanna watch Lara the Explora?” Sighing in relief as the six-year-old twins cheer at the idea of watching their favorite cartoon.

Cheka looked at Leona, opening his mouth to also ask, only to have Leona quickly cut him off as he walked deeper into the house.

“Don't even ask me.”

Trey had luckily been in the dining room and dragged Ruggie out before he could touch a single one of the serving dishes. Each platter remained with their tops on and magically locked to keep warm until opened again. The second-year almost scandalized hearing he needed to wait until everything was done. Dejectedly, after a weirdly intense stare from Trey, Ruggie backed down and joined the others in the lounge. Managing to wedge himself between one of Leona’s knees and the armrest of a three-person. He really took his task of ‘Spreading it’ seriously.

Sam had arrived, passing out little candies to Grim and the children as a way to tie over their appetites. He had only popped in the kitchen for twenty seconds, delivering a block of cheese Yuu had ordered that finally came in, only to rush out like his life depended on it. His only explanation being the kitchen was filled with malicious intent…

The Octavinelle trio had arrived while Sam and Cater were discussing their semi-shared task of ‘Cousin’ and all it entailed. Floyd holding a container close to his chest and keeping a vicious glare leveled at his twin, Jade pouting and glaring right back as he made small lunges. The two feuding eels leaving Azul to bring a chilled chest of drinks up the stairs himself.

Riddle stopped Floyd from entering when he opened the door, pointedly staring at the container in his arms, “What is that? You weren't tasked to bring anything.”

Floyd's scowl turned to Riddle, stepping away from the smaller sophomore and clutching the container even closer to his chest, “Shrimpy had no right saying I can't be trusted. So I made fried chicken.”

“And Jade…?”

Scoffing, Jade walked into the house, casting one last glare over his shoulder before cracking open one of the double doors to the kitchen to peek in.

Snickering, Floyd handed his container over to Riddle to finally help Azul with the container of drinks, “I locked him out of the lounge kitchen this morning. He didn't get to even try anything since I messed all his stupid boxes up last night too.”

“You nearly destroyed my Lulu Lazerus mushroom…If I hadn't managed to get it settled in a new terrarium I would be an only child right now…”

Floyd's only response was to make a face, groaning mockingly while he rolled his eyes and let his tongue hang out.

Jade had just started to ponder the idea of ripping Floyd's tongue out of his mouth when the kitchen doors opened fully. Luckily, Yuu and Sebek weren't yelling anymore but instead speaking to each other in intense tones.

“Suck it the fuck up, Sebek. I'm fucking tired and hungry too. Stop eating all the pineapple slices, those are for the fucking ham!” Yuu smiled at Jade, pointing behind them, “Come on, you can make the mushroom gravy since I suck at cooking them.”

That single prompt had flipped Jade's mood completely. The eel now smiling and already rushing past Yuu and into the kitchen. Their smile turned to Floyd and Azul, raising an eyebrow.

“What you make, Floyd?”

“Fried chicken...” Floyd frowns, putting together just what had happened, “Hey, wait a minute-”

“Yeah, I played you both. Go hang out in the lounge, there are small children in there.”

“Oh? Cool, I love playing with guppies!”

Riddle quickly followed after Floyd rounding back to place the container in Yuu’s hands, already scolding the laughing eel as they made their way to the lounge, “Please don't throw any of the children.”

Azul tapped Yuu on the shoulder, making sure to not get any food on his pressed dress shirt, “There are…children here?”

“Is that a hint of fear I hear, Azul?”

The housewarden sputtered, waving his date-mate's teasing expression away, “I'm not afraid of children. I just didn't bring more child-friendly beverages…”

Yuu opened the chilled chest, frowning as they took stock of the various bottles Azul had brought, “Zulie, I said booze and non-booze…”

“And I have! Must I remind you that the dietary expectations for children here are different from your world?”

They were in all fairness. Most commercial food wasn't as processed as what Yuu was used to. Even the most ‘unhealthy’ junk food was still leagues better than what Yuu would find back in their old world. Food geared toward children had even stricter social guidelines; juices were expected to be whole fruit juice and even blended with vegetables to ensure a well-rounded diet.

Sighing, Yuu tapped their chin, “Yeah…I can fix this. Let me help you get these all set up in the dining room. I gotta call Kalim and hope he and Jamil aren't on their way yet.”

Azul raised an eyebrow, following after Yuu, “I assume we're putting them on a table or people would pour their own drinks?”

“Don't worry, I'll show you where to put everything.”

Azul was surprised to see the chandelier of the dining room was also a drinks dispenser. The bulbs were completely hollow even though they shined with light. He watched from the side as Yuu stood on the table and filled each glass bulb with the multiple drinks Azul had brought. He asked what they had requested from Kalim, seeing how his task was simply making sure they had a dining set.

Yuu remarked they were going to make a punch for the children since everyone would be concerned about the content of the nonalcoholic drinks for the kids.

“It probably won’t taste the same, but It was really good whenever my auntie felt like making it for family get-togethers. I think the kids will like it.”

Luckily, Kalim and Jamil hadn't left Scarabia when Yuu called. Kalim was all too eager to bring more items at Yuu's request; multiple whole fruit juices and a large bottle of lemon-lime soda water made with his unique magic. The Scarabia duo had even brought other gifts as they arrived at the dorm.

Yuu opened the door, smiling as Kalim held up his armful of bottles, “You're a lifesaver, Kalim.”

“It's no problem! I'm glad I could bring something other than just plates. Plus, we ran into Idia and Ortho!” Kalim turns, smiling at the small group still walking up the steps behind him.

Jamil was bringing up the rear, arms folded over his chest as he gave a glare to the back of Idia’s head. The flame-haired third-year shuffling along as he walked up the stairs as slow as he could. Ortho was floating beside him, eyes creased in his joy as he gently tugged on his brother's oversized sweater. Against his will, Idia made it up the steps and stood nearly curled in on himself. 

Yuu cooed, reaching over and pinching Idia’s cheek hard, ignoring the flash of red his hair gave, “Look at you! All dressed up like you're fit for the public!”

“And you aren't for some reason. Aren't you hosting?” Jamil raised an eyebrow, looking over his datemate's messy appearance. He grimaces, reaching out to tug at the edge of their apron, “Is this part of it?”

“Well, me and Sebek are gonna get dressed up once the food is all ready. We just gotta put some finishing touches on a few more dishes then wait for everyone else to show up.”

Ortho tilts his head, “Would you like us to take over? You and Sebek should go get dressed so we can all eat as soon as everyone arrives.”

Idia mumbled under his breath, trying to shimmy his way a bit further from the door, “I'd…really rather not be in a hot kitchen…”

Sighing, Yuu stepped to the side to let the group enter the house, “I don’t want you guys to have to take over cooking for us. You’re all dressed so nice, I’d feel bad if you got messy…”

Jamil rolled his eyes, quick hands already untying Yuu’s apron and putting it over his blazer, “I think we can manage. You and Sebek go get washed up. I'm sure you’d love to actually host instead of looking as disheveled as you are and answering the door.”

“...Fine…” Yuu called into the kitchen, telling Sebek they were released from cooking and to go shower. They were barely able to move out of the way as Sebek zoomed out of the kitchen and disappeared up the stairs, his apron only just hitting the counter as his door slammed upstairs.

“...” Yuu turned to Kalim, Jamil and Ortho already in the kitchen, “Can you mix the punch up for me? You’re gonna use all the juice and the soda water for it. Put some sliced oranges in it, it’s for the kiddies.”

Kalim nodded, bumping the kitchen door open with his hip, “Got it!”

“And don’t think I forgot about you tall, dank, and heinous.” Yuu folded their arms, glaring at the back of Idia.

Idia had been inching closer to the front door, hoping he could slip out before being noticed and run back to his room. He groaned, scowling over his shoulder at Yuu, “I’m not even hungry…”

“You’re never hungry. Just sit at the table and hold Cater’s hand or whatever the fuck you do to maintain emotional stability.”

“So long as I can have my tablet at the table…” He rubs his forearm, looking to the ground, “Did you dress Grim up?”

“Yes. He has a new bowtie that he hates so he’s all pouty and grumpy.”

“Aw…cute.”

Cater poked his head out of the lounge hearing Idia’s voice, phone poised in hand before he let out a sigh of relief seeing his boyfriend actually showed up, “OMS, Idia! You look so good, babes. Thank you for showing like you promised~.”

Idia finally let a smile crack, tugging on his collar as the tips of his hair eased into pink, “I mean…you did help me pick out what to wear-MHP!”

The other third-year had sped walked over to his boyfriend, throwing his arms around Idia’s neck before pulling him in to make out with him. The redhead moaned loudly and running his hands through nearly neon-pink flames while pressing their bodies together.

“Cater! For the love of the Design!” Yuu slapped him repeatedly on the shoulder until he finally detached from a dazed Idia, “What the fuck dude!? Don't dry hump your boyfriend in my entryway!?”

“What am I supposed to do as ‘Gay Cousin’!? My boyfriend is here, so I get to be gay and kiss him!”

Rolling her eyes, Yuu groaned and walked up the stairs to finally clean up. Leaving a stunned Idia and an angry Cater, the redhead holding his hands up as to question the higher powers.

“What do I DO!?”

Yuu and Sebek cleaned up well, Sebek feeling much better freshly showered and in the button-up he had spent an hour last night ironing. Yuu kept simple, the new designer jeans Crewel had flung at her after seeing her trying to sew in another patch on the thigh of her old jeans. A sweater Yuu had stolen from Vil’s closet, the third-year feeling something was missing from his wardrobe, but unable to figure out what was gone. 

So she could feel nothing but smug when she opened the door, smiling at the well-dressed group of the Pomfiore trio on their porch, “Eyebrows.”

Vil raised a single perfectly sculpted eyebrow, already connecting the dots on where his missing top had gone. He tapped a perfectly manicured nail against the lid of his container, “Onion.”

“I see, you not only managed to get Epel de-mudded but you finished your salad on time.”

With a smile that seemed almost mocking, Vil opened his container to show the multicolored pasta inside, “I made a pasta salad.”

Yuu looked at the dish, her smile almost frozen on her face before she took in a deep breath through her nose. She reaches out, nails raking down the sides of the ceramic bowl as they slowly pull it out of  Vil’s hands, “I should…beat you to death for your audacity. But this honestly, looks delightful and I think you actually seasoned it.”

Epel spoke up from beside Vil, giving his housewarden a judgemental look, “He had me season it.”

“Hush, Epel.”

Rook tilted his head, smiling brightly, “I hope we are not too fashionably late. It’d do no good for us to miss such festivities with our dear classmates.”

Yuu ushered them in, “Not too late. Most everyone is here, but you also aren’t the last to arrive.”

Vil smiled as he triple-checked his makeup and outfit in the gold mirror on the wall, “Perfect.”

Epel perked up, holding out his own dish, “Oh, yeah. Here’s the tenderloin you wanted me to make. I never thought pork and apples would work together. How’d you know?”

Yuu partly wanted to point out to Epel that he was potentially blessed. Any food he made with apples was almost otherworldly good, a trait they learned Epel shared with his grandma, “Something from my world. Come on, we’ll get your dishes settled on the table.”

Rook closed the door behind their group, eyes glancing over to the kitchen doors, “May, I see the efforts of my hunt? I wish to see the golden beauty that was once my quarry.”

“I don’t care if you’re hungry, no one eats yet.”

After sending the Pomfiore trio to the lounge, they almost slipped back into the kitchen to touch base with Ortho and Jamil, only to hear the door being flung open to slam against the wall. Turning around they smiled seeing the familiar black and white fur coat. Crewel was already walking through the entryway, designer shades taking over half his face with a large gold-foiled wine bottle gripped in one hand.

“Papa dog! Thank you for coming, you didn't need to bring us more wine-”

Crewel didn't stop walking, managing to brush past Yuu completely with a pat to their head, “No, this is for me, puppy. No touchy.”

“Yep, that tracks…” Yuu had nearly closed the door only to see Trein coming up the stairs too, Lucius tucked securely in his arms, “Grandpa! You made it!”

They hug briefly, Trein sighing and allowing Lucius to jump from his arms to trot into the house. He was in a different robe, vaguely familiar to his normal attire but clearly of higher quality and with a more elaborate brooch, “It feels odd to cancel classes for a ‘dinner’. And on a Thursday at that…”

“Hm…yeah. We technically have a Thanksgiving break in my world. It’s basically just an extended weekend though.”

“That makes sense. While your studies are important, maybe this little break will do you children some good. Here’s hoping that Crewel doesn’t use this as an excuse to overdrink again.”

“Oh, he came in with a bottle of wine.”

“Of course he did…”

Yuu was ready to text Lilia just to ask if he and his boys were on their way, secret be damned. Though a part of her realized she should of expected them to be the latest party of everyone. Malleus was so timeblind that he was potentially going to miss the heat death of the universe then pout about it. Silver can’t always fight against his compulsion to sleep and Lilia isn’t supposed to fucking know about the dinner anyway.

So when Yuu heard the door knocking with a refined yet urgent feeling, she flung Cheka out of her lap (Directly into Leona’s stomach) and raced toward the front door.

Swinging it open, she smiled at the nicely dressed trio before her, “There’s my bread delivery!”

Silver smiled, holding up the large wicker basket full to the brim with artisan bread rolls, “They should still be warm, but a bit longer in the oven shouldn’t burn them.”

Lilia looked between them all, taking note of Yuu’s semi-fancy attire before gasping. He pouted, glaring at each of his sons “Is this a dinner party!? I knew you boys were hiding something from me, but for it to be a meal among friends? I could have made something!”

Yuu watched as Silver and Malleus both gave an identical shudder at the same time.

Malleus places a hand on Lilia’s shoulder, letting the older fae jerk himself away, “You weren’t tasked with cooking. But, if you wish to have been involved, you were.”

Silver perks up, handing the bread to Yuu and finally stepping into the house as a group, “That’s right, father. You helped make the bread. I can’t shape dough nearly as well as you can. You helped greatly.”

“Surely the meal will be elevated from your lavish buns.”

Lilia pouted, arms now crossed. He wasn’t dull, he knew his children were simply trying to pacify his soured mood. It didn’t help they had kept such a secret from him. Then again…

Chuckling, Lilia places his hands on his hips as he let go of his annoyance, “Well, I have to admit, I am looking forward to the meal. Is it just us or will others be joining?”

Yuu smiled, sharing a kiss with Malleus, the horned fae already beaming at himself for completing his task. Looking to Lilia, Yuu nodded her head to the lounge down the hall, “You guys are actually the last group. Go wait in the lounge for a bit, me and Jamil will get the last touches of dinner done.”

While Malleus wasn’t too keen to leave, he allowed Lilia to tug him down the hall and into the lounge. The sound of Sebek shouting in joy at finally seeing his dorm family again, already talking their ears off on how much he had done to help insure the success of the meal.

Yuu leaned their head into the lounge, locking eyes with Riddle and nodding. The housewarden perked up, standing from his seat and bringing his fingers to his lips to let out a piercing whistle.

Once he had everyone’s attention, he nodded and made motions to leave the room, “It’s time for the meal. Let’s all make our way to the dining room.”

The Ramshackle dining room was possibly the most elegant room of the house, which wasn’t hard, but it counted. The dark wood-paneled walls were lit softly by the warm lights of the chandelier. The long table was decorated by deep red placemats, crystal glasses, stark white plates, and matching serving platters filled to the brim with food. Tucked to the far wall, resting under a large landscape painting, was a much smaller table with five placemats.

Yuu smiled, gesturing to the small table, “Niblings, that’s your table. Everyone else, I actually have nametags so you guys are assigned seats.” Their smile quickly fell, reaching out and gripping Ruggie by the back of his suspenders and yanked him back from the table, “Not yet.”

Ruggie groaned loudly, glaring at Yuu, “What now!? This is my dinner isn’t it!?”

“No, you wanted a Thanksgiving dinner. So we’re doing a Thanksgiving dinner, all the annoying shit involved. Now, we’re going to stand around the table, hold hands, and say a prayer.”

Ace raised an eyebrow, “What, like a cult?”

Crewel pulled a face, begrudgingly holding onto Trein’s hand, “Why are we praying?”

 Yuu grips Deuce’s hand, pointing a finger at everyone, “Don’t question me, this is just how my family always did it. Ruggie, you wanted this, you do it.”

“I-Do what?”

“The prayer, Ruggie. Say a few words about what you’re thankful for or like…praise god or whatever. Now everyone, hold each other’s hands and bow your heads until the prayer is done.”

“Ok, so this is cult behavior-”

“Bow your heads!”

Everyone bowed their heads, a few shooting Ruggie questioning glances before looking back to the floor or closing their eyes.

Ruggie stood in silence for a few seconds. Looking around the room before taking a breath and bowing his head as well, “Um…Hi? This is weird and I really don’t want to do this is public. But…Thank you…for the meals I’ve had, the meal I’m having, and the meals I’ll have…” He smiles softly, the grip he had on Leona’s hand tightening only a touch, “And for the people I share them with. Bless.”

Yuu holds their head up, staring at Ruggie in surprise, “Ruggie, holy shit, that was actually lovely.”

“Can we eat now?”

“Oh my God-Yeah.”

Everyone took a seat, Yuu further explained that whoever had a child sitting at the kids' table was allowed to make their and the child’s plate first. Ruggie being the only one who didn’t fit into that group who was allowed to pile his plate as much as he wanted before everyone else.

Prev/Next

[alphajocklover]

Hey, um, I'm a really tall, really skinny gay guy. People have always told me that I could be really athletic if I wanted to, but no matter how much I eat I always stay thin and lanky. I guess it's just my metabolism. Could you help me beef up?

Maybe I just don't have the mindset for it

So, no matter what, even though you desperately want to, you can’t seem to put on any muscle. Trust me when I tell you that you’re not alone. There are tons of people who look at their body and wish they were different, and there are just as many who do what they can to change and find it's just not enough. That's part of why transformation blogs exist after all. The fantasy of getting your dream body without all the hassle. Some people say that those who have trouble doing this just need to work harder, or are lazy, but usually it has more to do with genetics and metabolism than anything else. Getting a body like the ones in my post is possible without magic and reality warping apps, but it is very difficult and not possible for everyone. So, your request brings up an interesting idea: what would happen if I changed you mentally and left your body alone? Would the right mindset really change that much? Well, let's see.

It shouldn’t be hard to change you mentally. I won’t even go into how. Maybe I used some magic, or nano bots, or something else from my increasingly large collection of jock transformation methods. Honestly the how isn’t really important to this experiment. It’s what happens next that we want to focus on. Because now, mentally, you’re a jock. I didn’t entirely rewrite your identity, so you’re still you, just a jock version of yourself. You’re dumber, simpler. You love sports and working out, and obsess about getting massive muscles. You’re the stereotypical jock… except you're skinny as a bean pole. The new you can’t just accept that of course. He wants to be huge. He works out like crazy, follows all the tips, takes every supplement and tries every protein powder he can find, all to chase the version of you he knows he can be. So… does it work? Does the new you get a jock body? The answer is fairly boring: kind of. An increased dedication to exercise and a passion for it is sure to make a big difference, and you end up putting on dozens of pounds of muscle, but since I didn’t change your body, you still have to deal with the genetics life has dealt you. You get huge, but you don’t get as big as some of the other gym goers. You’re a jock, but you’re not inhumanly massive. You’re definitely a total stud, but it takes quite some time for you to get where you want to be. I’m not knocking hard work and dedication, but they’re not the only factors and it’s ok to acknowledge that. You may never get as big as you dream… but that's not really why you do it anymore. You’re a jock now, and a real jock doesn’t just workout because they wanna look good, they do it because they love it! Because it’s their passion! That passion and dedication will take you very far, farther than people get on just good genetics. You may never be the biggest guy in the gym, but you’ll get big and enjoy every second of getting bigger.

Of course, that's coming at it from a more grounded viewpoint, and we’re not here to be grounded are we? You want to live out your jock fantasy, and as thanks for letting me do this little experiment with you, I’ll give your muscles an extra little boost! Looks like you will be the biggest guy in the gym after all! With both the right mindset and the perfect body, you’re going to end up a jock bro god. Hope you enjoy it bro! You're gonna have guys throwing themselves at you after this.

[fab-ernathy]

Eating Like the Greek Class, Book 1

Okay, so here's my thing. I have a hard time motivating myself to do basic human things like eat food. It has to be linked to a special interest or hyperfixation OR be a set routine for me, and since I don't have a routine for dinner that's the most difficult meal of the day. And TSH is my hyperfixation at the moment so... behold: every food the Greek class eat (not including drinks or we'd be here forever).

(Under a read more because it's Long.)

Chapter 2

Page 62:

Despite the vast amount we ate that afternoon – soups, lobsters, pates, mousses, an array appalling in variety and amount [...]

Page 73:

Charles had the oven open and was poking at some lamb chops with a fork.

Page 90:

[...] to find Bunny and Charles on the front porch, eating ham sandwiches and playing cards.

Page 94:

We borrowed Henry's car, drove to Maine so he could have a club sandwich in a bar he liked there [...]

Page 103:

Francis sat curled in the window seat with a plate of little sandwiches in his lap, reading [...] Bunny lay on his stomach on the hearth rug, doing his homework; occasionally he would steal one of Francis's sandwiches or ask a pained question.

Chapter 3

Page 120:

I found an awkward note of apology in my mailbox, wrapped around a paperback copy of the poems of Rupert Brooke and a box of Junior Mints.

Page 121:

Sitting around the kitchen table we had a sad, makeshift dinner of canned mushroom soup, soda crackers, and tea without sugar or milk.

Page 126:

Then I would go make myself a can of soup and some instant coffee on the hot plate in the Social Science office [...]

Page 142:

But sometimes when I got home he would have made dinner – he wasn't a fancy cook like Francis and only made plain things, broiled chickens and baked potatoes, bachelor food [...]

Page 144:

I cut some bread and made him a cheese sandwich, as he showed no inclination of getting up and making anything himself.

Chapter 4

Page 154:

One morning after he'd had a date with Marion, he showed up at breakfast with his tray full of milk and sugar doughnuts

Page 162:

I went upstairs and got myself a cup of coffee and a couple of soft-boiled eggs, which I ate alone at a table near a window in the empty main dining room. [...] It was the big back-to-school dinner that night – roast beef, green beans almondine, cheese souffle and some elaborate lentil dish for the vegetarians.

Page 166:

He reached in and pulled out a frozen cheesecake.

Page 172:

'There was no food at Francis's house except some cans of black olives and a box of Bisquick.' 'Yes. We ate olives and Bisquick.' [...] 'There wasn't any milk, even,' said Camilla. 'We had to mix the Bisquick with water.'

Page 175:

Henry ordered an enormous dinner – pea soup, roast beef, a salad, mashed potatoes with gravy, coffee, pie – and ate it silently and with a great deal of methodical relish. I picked erratically at my omelet and had a hard time keeping my eyes off him as we ate.

Chapter 5

Page 198:

Walking home, a sandwich from the snack bar in my pocket, [...] Bunny leaning back on his elbows with his legs stretched in front of him, cracking pensively with his rear molars at a little Dum-Dum sucker.

Page 200:

'He took a quart of ice cream out of my freezer to eat while he waited he couldn't bother to get a bowl of it, you understand, he had to have the whole quart – and when he fell asleep it melted all over him and on my chair and on that nice little Oriental rug I used to have.'

Page 204:

We ate Welsh rarebits and listened to the rain beating down in gusts on the roof.

Page 234:

Dinner appeared with instantaneous magic: pork roast, biscuits, turnips and corn and butternut squash, in thick china bowls that had pictures of the presidents (up to Nixon) around their rims.

Page 237:

To the casual observer, I suppose, he seemed pretty much his jolly old self - slapping people on the back, eating Twinkies and Ho Hos in the reading room of the library and dropping crumbs all down in the bindings of his Greek books.

Page 240:

He ignored our awkward greetings and went straight to the cabinet and made himself a bowl of Sugar Frosted Flakes and sat down wordlessly at the table.

Page 252:

She was still a girl, a slight lovely girl who lay in bed and ate chocolates [...]

Page 264-5:

He reached in the pocket of his overcoat and pulled out a bundle wrapped in napkins. 'I brought you a sandwich since you weren't at lunch. [...] It was cream cheese and marmalade, I knew without looking. The twins were fanatical about them but I didn't like them much.

Page 269:

There was roasted lamb, new potatoes, peas with leeks and fennel; a rich and almost maddeningly delicious bottle of Chateau Latour. I was eating with better appetite than I had had in ages when I noticed that a fourth course had appeared, with unobtrusive magic, at my elbow: mushrooms. They were pale and slender-stemmed, of a type I had seen before, steaming in a red wine sauce that smelled of coriander and rue.

Page 279:

Henry switched off the lamp and went to the stove and began, rather mechanically, to make some bacon and eggs.

Page 283:

'Well, I don't know who did it,' the house chairperson said, 'but whoever it was, they had spaghetti for dinner.' [...] Then I put on my robe and, eating an apple I'd found in the house kitchen, walked downstairs [...] When I got to Henry's, I was glad to see that Charles and Francis were still picking at a cold chicken and some salad.

---

OK, so so far we have lots of sandwiches, European-style food, and mentions of lots of unspecified meals (that I didn't include) but some were seen as elaborate by Richard's standards. I did take note of the drinks, but they seem to be of all varieties; alcoholic drinks (which tended to be whiskey based), coffee, tea, water, and soft drinks. This is a good start, and I'll be back for Book 2 soon for more inspiration.

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

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Head over now to check it out and show some love! 🙌

📖 Link in bio! ✨ Let me know your thoughts after reading! 💬

Wanderlust

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — The one where you meet the love of your life in Paris.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Kylian Mbappé x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 12.4k

Warnings! Fluff, the two of them are so in love, Kylian is a sweatheart in this, very cute scenes, you too will fall in love, NSFW! SMUT (18+), unprotected vaginal sex (pull out method (please don't do this)), oral sex (f receiving), the usual

preview

************

You have anxiety.

You’ve had it since you were 14, stamped on a doctor’s note like some unwelcome badge of honor. So why, in the name of all things reasonable, did you think backpacking across Europe alone was a good idea? You still haven’t figured that one out.

Now here you are, standing in line at a quaint café in Paris. The smell of roasted coffee beans and freshly baked pastries envelopes the space, warm and inviting. It should be comforting, but it only tightens the knot in your chest. You clutch your dog-eared phrasebook as if it’s a lifeline. Because right now, it feels like it is.

Locals chatter in rapid-fire French, their words flowing like music you can’t quite follow. The espresso machine hisses and sputters, plates clinking as waiters navigate the packed space. It’s all so much. Too much.

You shift your weight from one foot to the other, pretending to study the menu for the umpteenth time. The words blur together, your eyes skipping over the unfamiliar words that might as well be hieroglyphs. Croissant… macaron… okay, you’ve got this. Just say it exactly how you practiced. Your heart is racing, though. Your palms feel damp.

The line moves forward. Only one person separates you from the counter now. Your throat tightens. You glance behind you, considering a quick escape, but the line’s grown too long, and the thought of squeezing past all these people feels just as daunting. What if you mess up? What if they laugh? Or worse—what if the barista stares at you blankly and the floor doesn’t open up to swallow you whole?

“Next!”

The last customer takes their steaming cup and moves away. Suddenly, it’s your turn. The waiter—young, effortlessly cool, and radiating that casual Parisian charm—looks up at you with an expectant smile. His words come quick and confident. “Bonjour! Avez-vous fait votre choix ?”

Your brain stalls. The carefully rehearsed sentence you’ve been repeating in your head all morning disappears like mist in sunlight.

“Uh… je voudrais…” Your voice cracks, barely above a whisper. You fumble with the phrasebook, flipping pages as if salvation is buried somewhere in its worn edges. Your fingers tremble. Heat creeps up your neck, spreading to your cheeks, and you’re acutely aware of every pair of eyes in the café—even if most aren’t actually on you.

The waiter tilts his head, his smile slipping into something more neutral. Polite patience. You’re holding up the line, and someone coughs behind you—an unsubtle nudge to hurry up.

“Un… crois—” The word tangles in your mouth. Your tongue trips, and your throat tightens even further. Why can’t you just order a stupid pastry?

Before the full weight of your embarrassment can crush you, a hand touches your elbow. It’s warm, steady, and the unexpected contact makes you whirl around. Your gaze lands on a man, and for a moment, your breath hitches.

God. The face that stares back at you is breathtaking.

************

-Bianca🌻

[mistydeyes]

Hello!! Could you do headcanons with the 141 boys with a partner who has frequent migraines and they are in the task force with them as well?

Honestly, any of these boys taking care of me while I have a migraine or just sick cures me in just a few seconds lol

thank you for requesting! I thought this was super cute to write and I was able to recall some of the non-harm methods for treating migraines :) I literally cannot even deal with a headache so I can't imagine what frequent migraines must feel like

migraines and forehead kisses

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summary: You've been diagnosed with frequent migraines but sometimes it is so unbearable that the 141 will step in and be sure to soothe their significant other.

pairing: Taskforce 141 x gn!Reader

warnings: none, all fluff :)

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price

most of the time, your migraines are triggered by stress or following a long, sleepless mission

price can tell when your in pain, especially when you close your eyes tightly or put your head in your hands

he'll rub your shoulders and offer to make you some coffee to help

he knows you are regimented about your medication so he often offers other methods of helping your headache

and as caffeine is the answer to all of price's problems, he immediately makes you a pot of coffee

as you put your head down on the table, you can smell the strong scent of coffee beans

"don't make it too strong" you mumble and he would laugh

it's a legitimate request as you have tried his coffee and you swear it would kill a small child

"here you go, love" he would say and presents you with a small mug

you're not sure if its the stimulants from the caffeine or just being back on base, but you're headache dissipates within moments

he'll continue to ask about your condition until you reassure him you're fine

"it's always the coffee"

he's so proud of it even though its something you can buy from the grocers

soap

when you first had a migraine, soap wanted to rush you to the infirmary

he practically loses it when you tell him how you can see an aura in your vision and how it feels like a jackhammer on your brain

only after you reassured him it was a reoccurring thing and you were diagnosed before you entered selection, he calms down

now he's an expert at helping you recover

you found that brufen helps the best and soap will always have it on hand

when you closed your eyes tightly on the plane and complained about the fluorescent overhead light, he immediately searched through his tac vest

"it's here somewhere," he would say as you could hear various zippers and velcro pockets being opened

eventually he opened your palm to offer you the small tablet

"you sure this isn't expired?" you asked and he reassured you he just got it from the chemist's last week

he handed you your flask of water and patted your back after you swallowed it

as you waited for the medication kick in, he lets you rest your head on his shoulder and draws circles into your back

"it'll be alright" he reassures and you have to tell him to lower his voice as it makes the migraine worse

he'll get it right one day

gaz

when you first told gaz you had frequent migraines, he spent all night looking up remedies

you already were on medication and had your analgesics at the ready so he focused on home remedies

for a few weeks, you both tried out various techniques (caffeine and essential oils being your least favorite)

eventually, you found that a good scalp massage was ideal for making the pain go away

something about increasing blood circulation

as long as you're not in the middle of an active war zone, he will gladly sit you in between his legs and give you the best massage in the world

he'll start at the base of your scalp and work his way up with his fingers

"just let me know if i'm hurting you, love," he'd reassure but his gentle touch always made you feel comforted

it honestly feels like one of those head scratchers but a thousand times better

you joke that he should've been a masseuse instead of joining the military

he'll hum lightly as he continues until you let him know that you're feeling better

you're more than happy to return the favor with his aching muscles (especially his back and shoulders)

ghost

you know your migraines are triggered after long mission briefings where you strain to look at the screen and through various floor plans

since they're unavoidable, ghost knows what to do when you exit the room and tell him you have a migraine

plays 20 questions with you and will ask if you tried everything

did you drink enough water? yes, you know me. took your paracetamol today? yeah tried that. what about your rizatriptan? you saw me take that before the briefing.

he'll sigh before offering you some other methods

"just follow me" he responds and you walk with him back to your quarters

he leaves the light off before returning from the bathroom with a cold, damp towel

before you can ask, he sits on the bed and motions for you to sit in between his legs

you compile and once you're comfortable, he places the cold compress over your eyes

despite the initial shock, it actually worked quite well and you swear you can fall asleep like this

ghost swears he heard you snoring but you deny it

now whenever you have a long briefing, you will follow the same routine and ghost gets to enjoy some quiet alone time with you

[incorrectbatfam]

Now I need the batfam as David

I should've answered this a while back but for those who don't know, David is my friend that I mentioned in this post who is the embodiment of Chaotic Stupid and gave at least one person gender envy, so anon is asking for the batfam as things about him

Dick: during his bottom surgery consultation, he asked if they could make his grayson as long as his arm

Jason: his dream job is either brewery owner or freelance pharmacist

Tim: he eats coffee beans like popcorn and mixes Rockstar with Gatorade

Damian: he chose his dad's name as his own to assert dominance

Duke: his lockscreen is a picture of himself wearing 6 hats on top of each other

Cullen: he twerked to Mama by My Chemical Romance

Stephanie: he celebrated his top surgery by doing a fake commercial shoot in his old Hooters uniform

Cassandra: his sleep paralysis demons disappeared after doing shrooms

Barbara: he thought his tweets would be anonymous if he used an incognito browser

Harper: he and his dad installed a urinal in their house while his mom and sister were away

Carrie: he bites right through the bones whenever we have wings

Kate: his fiancée banned him from wedding planning after he suggested edibles as a party favor

Helena: he's the reason water bottles at our former high school now have to be transparent

Luke: he's trying to grow a viking beard so he can braid it and hide stuff

Bette: his sister's old prom dress is now one of his drag outfits for amateur shows

Alfred: he thought London was just a city of the past, "like Rome or Athens" (his words not mine)

Selina: he's probably stolen around $6,000 worth of stuff by shoplifting at this point

Bruce: his main method of cooking is DoorDash because he once burned microwaved tea