#don't come at me for being rude either; I was being rather nice considering you wanted to what? accuse me of faking?

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

you don't really have a migraine if you can get on Tumblr lmao

This might be one of my strangest anons yet... Are you really trying to fucking gatekeep or police the symptoms of a neurological disorder?

I'm pretty sure I know what I can and can't tolerate when I'm dealing with a migraine, asshole. Some of my first were as early as elementary school. I'm now in my mid-twenties and by this point have been dealing with them chronically for several years.

Every migraineur is different, as is every migraine.

While some will have such severe symptoms that even the slightest smell, light or sound makes the pain they are experiencing worse, that is not the case for every sufferer, every time.

Go be weird somewhere else.

[audisive]

♪ BROOKLYN BABY. (💌) – previous part

౨ৎ simon 'ghost' riley | reader

synopsis: the 141 believes the scot now.

tags: fluff, romance, soft!simon, you're basically their mom atp lol, bickering, there's a bet between gaz n soap, gaz secretly wants you shh, ooc characters, not proofread, price being the gentleman he is, he's seriously just watching everything unfold

       It's not always that Ghost is willing to let the 141 stay at his house for their traditions – which is just drinking beer and watching sports, really. In fact, he's always said something about his place being empty, so they always settled on someone else's. They stop asking after a year, and in turn, he stops having reasons.

It's not until Soap pops the question again when everyone else's houses are unavailable for a variety of reasons, his being that he left his faucet on and now his shitty apartment is flooded. You can only imagine the suspicion and shock when Ghost agrees (or, rather, simply grunts).

The drive is long, nothing short of 5 hours, and Soap spends the better half of it bickering with either Gaz or Ghost. He falls asleep by the next half, and when he awakes, he gawks at the lovely looking house before their car. There's two stories to it, a balcony, a front porch, and there's no doubt that there's a backyard.

Contrary to popular belief, no, it is not all black or plain at all. It's all equally surprising to them. The Brit isn't the type to care about the appearance and state of a house, usually. They do envision him in a mostly empty apartment with only a bed and a bathroom, though.

There's a delicate touch to where a rough man lives; the smell is almost heavenly when they enter the house. It's homely, the scent of newly washed sheets and lingering smell of food; there's a cat perched on the living room table that Ghost scratches the head of lovingly in a way that's so casual and natural. It's like they're at the gates of–

"Simon!" Heaven's bells ring in their ears, luring them into the doorway of the living room, and the sound of feet padding against the cold floor. There comes a soft-looking thing running into Ghost's arms, completely engulfing you.

You only notice the three familiar faces of your boyfriend's team members – though you know he considers them family if anything – when you pull away. An angel clad in only a cami top, shorts, and Simon's hand around your waist, you turn to look at the group with a surprised look on your pretty – Soap thinks that God, you're so pretty – face. "Oh, hi," you smile sweetly, obviously awkward at the silence and the staring.

"It's been a while," Ever the gentleman, the gruff voice is the first to speak up with your name uttered, the only who's actually met you – John Price. Soap is too enamored with the way you hold yourself and the fact that, holy fuck, even your name's pretty. Gaz raises a brow at the captain's greeting.

You smile once more – a genuine one now. "Nice to see you again, John."

"'S rude to stare, Johnny." Simon speaks out, a smirk under the mask. "Please excuse him, miss," Gaz adds, this beautiful man, and offers a charming smile.

"You must be Gaz," you hold your hand out, "it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine," Kyle forgets that a hand could be this soft and gentle, "and please, call me Kyle." He barely stops himself from turning your hand in his to kiss the back of it like one should to a lady so fair; his lieutenant has good taste in women, he'll give him that. And when you're out of the area, Soap is sure to rub it in Gaz's face. I told ye so! LT wis hidin' somethin' from us. A pretty something, that is. You don't miss the way he slips a twenty-dollar bill into the Scottish man's hand.

"Glad tae meet ye," Soap finally says, winking. "Understand why he wis hidin' a bonnie lass like ye from us." There's a mischievous glint in his eye, almost naturally so.

"A'm hurt, LT, but whit can I do? After all, we're just a couple o' brutes, arenae we?"

Simon watches in amusement, "you'll live." Soap is quick to move to your side as you lead the small group of hulking men through your shared home after that.

Simon is visibly more relaxed with you around. He's comfortable, that much is a given, with the way he's taking up most of the thankfully large couch with his manspreading. So is the 141. They're pampered like spoiled children (or pets, really) through the whole day.

Instead of just beer and faucet water, they're offered a variety of drinks in the kitchen that's enough to be considered a private bar. Instead of an empty belly unhealthily stuffed with beer and a mix of mediocre takeout, they're met with warm homecooked meals. They lose track of time quickly; the night falls by the time they've tired themselves out, and they've had not one, but two meals thanks to you.

(They're sure to commend your cooking skills and think of how lucky this tall brute of a man is blessed with a woman so soft and pliant and wonderful and– while Price is the one to be the most grateful, Soap compliments you the most. "A can practically taste the love." You laugh in turn.)

Gaz is the first to speak after a meal so lovely, they could simply just sleep on the floor comfortably and wake to the same smell of home. "It's a bit late, love, we should probably go."

"Thank you for having us," Price smiles down at you kindly.

"Ye've been lovely, bonnie." He wants to stay some more.

"Wait," you stop them, looking up at Simon for further approval. He's already looking at you with a reassuring brush of his thumb on the side of your hip and a nod. You turn your eyes back at them. "It's already late, you three should stay the night. We have enough room for everyone."

There comes, "we don't wanna intrude," then, "we can take care of ourselves, it's alright."

"Please, I insist." Your smile brightens, "I'll even cook breakfast before you leave."

The mohawk moves with a sigh, "now tha's just no' fair, lass. How are we gonna say no tae that?" You giggle. Only then do they find themselves tucked away in the guest room, and boy, you were right when you said it could fit them all if not more.

On the way to the bathroom in the late hours of the night, Soap catches a glimpse of light through the crack of your bedroom door to see his oh-so strong lieutenant, vulnerable in your arms. There's something natural about the way you cradle the large man and kiss his hair like it's part of your DNA, like you're programmed to do that 'cause Soap thinks you're simply unreal.

He's proud of his lieutenant, this lucky bastard. He turns another blind eye once more, but he's paid in full with another fulfilling meal by the morning.

[fuwaprince]

👉👈 Hi friends! I have a long, serious post made just for you(!) that isn't full of spoilers, smut or mooning lawn gnomes. Please read if you can, this is a 💥 mutual aid request 💥

It has been a horribly painful and long while as most people following/keeping up with me know. and in a few days I'm going to be down $1500, which is basically all my fucking $

I can't afford Christmas for anybody, which sucks and I'm very sorry. I can't even take care of myself and haven't been, which also sucks and I'm very sorry

Landlords spontaneously raised rent on me more than halfway through this month as punishment for not getting to my house chores and not communicating, to be totally honest with you. I feel ashamed and awful about it but I didn't want to clean the place while multiple ppl living here had tested positive for COVID and kept walking around unmasked... I am not fully vaxxed because I've been too depressed to get any kind of necessary medical care done and I didn't want to catch COVID in the middle of my finals week for the semester. I woke up to being angrily and rudely bitched at first thing after the last of my finals (I passed at least). It wasn't a humanizing text. Fuck the mistreatment though. Rent is now almost doubled and it won't be lowered

There was no room for negotiation and I truly believe they've resorted to pricing me out of living here because the group of renters psychologically tormenting me wasn't effective (actually- putting a picture of my rapist on the fridge rly was super effective in getting me to isolate myself in my room all day and so was outing me as trans to the transphobic ass neighbors.... But I didn't and still don't have any place better to move out to, like the way they were hoping I would. Yes, I have looked and BEGGED btw)

I want out of here NOW, but I can't leave. I tried and had to come back because it was the best option. I can't afford to stay in a motel/hotel/BnB just to get away from them for a day or two during Christmas. I don't have any friends who I can spend the holiday with either. During the semester, I resorted to convincing classmates with keys to locked buildings to let me crash in them while they worked at night and I would leave before anybody showed up. Now that school is out, I can't do that. I don't have any family I can reach out to for support or friends who I can depend on for immediate help. I have been crying day in and day out for weeks. I have records of it posted throughout my blog. Literally crying for days on end. I'm being so fucking transparent

All that lump of text is to explain to whoever is out there, who might be listening and willing and able, to please consider helping me, if and ONLY IF able. I know times are tough and if you'd rather use your $ for other reasons or just don't have any to spare, don't sweat it and take care! 🫂

I've thought about what I could do for a long time and have helped myself how I can. It isn't enough. I've applied for so much assistance. Been approved and been sabotaged by my inhumane mom (who does not love me) via stealing my legal documents and letters and hiding them for months. My mind jumps to grim places but I'm clinging for dear life to whatever hope I have left that says things will get better. I wish I knew somebody with a business that I could work for. Part of me feels so fucking terrible for asking for help because I feel like a waste of all your resources. I feel like I shouldn't ask, like I really do not fucking deserve help, but there are friends online who care, who I know mentioned being interested in helping in whatever ways they can

So to the people who care to seriously me, I'm ready to accept it: please send me nice words to get through this and feel less alone. It feels pathetic to ask but I would love a nice letter. A nice card even. Kind words of any kind would go a long way. It means more to me than food. I have felt so broken and every day feels like a test to figure out how badly I actually want to live

I'm also leaving my cash app and paypal here in case anybody would like to do more than what I'm comfortable asking but probably very likely will inevitably need very very soon. I will be left with fucking nothing and I will have no idea what to do once rent is paid

Thank you to those of you who have sent love, offered to listen and heard me out. I really wish it wasn't so hard to survive. I'm trying to feel better knowing there are people out there who are also without help and hoping the best, but it doesn't make me feel any better or comforted tbh. I just wish the help was there for us. I wish there was a place to go for spare love, care, compassion, empathy, kindness, humanity, generosity... I need that more than I need $. Call me stupid but that's what I live for. I don't live for paying to survive in terrible conditions. I live for love and to smile with friends

I hope to write back to the friends who have already been so kind as to message me soon btw. I'm sorry for not replying sooner. Your overwhelming support is sincerely sweet and sometimes I cry because I can't believe people are so nice (to me???). It'll give me something to do that doesn't make me feel like dying! :') so thank you thank you thank you *fist bump*

Hope you're all doing as well as you can and that somehow things get better. Hope anybody else struggling like me doesn't make the mistake of isolating like a sick and dying animal. You deserve love. You deserve support. Don't be like me. Have the courage to reach out to the people who care about you for help as early on into your emergency as possible. Don't let your situation snowball because you spend so long trying to figure out if you're worth it!!! This Random Tumblr user is here to tell you that YOU ARE. Sending my infinite everlasting unconditional love. Be nice to yourselves. Be nice to each other. Fuck the hateful assholes who wish I would just kill myself already. Tell your friends you love them. Happy Holidays!!!

And here's a single picture of a mooning lawn gnome at the very end, as a treat! I told you this post wasn't full of it.... It just ended with it 👉👉

[monpalace]

LEGEND

Legend is reasonable, he’d consider, just not when he's presented with (almost) constant questions and concerns regarding his relationship status with his closest friend.

Any question along the lines of “so when’d you two start dating,” are quickly met with a snappy response with little second thought. “I saw you with your significant other not too long ago,” and any further ramblings are quickly put to an end when he sends a withering gaze their way.

At some point, Legend becomes tired of comments regarding his relationship with you. If it weren't for his aversion to dark magic, he’d drown himself in a curse of some sort that stopped any related questions entirely.

He’s never turned down acts of reassurance from your side. Whether they are words of affirmation or acts of affection, he never fails to be less inconvenienced about the event when you intervene.

Legend tends to hold his sharp tongue when you're around. He’s never rude to you, or (sometimes) to the other Links, when you're around because he always wants to be a better version of himself when you're around.

That doesn't mean he's good at biting his tongue.

He’s very much susceptible to rolling his eyes, groaning, and telling someone to shut up with a scoff. Legend might wind it down even further with a “please leave us alone,” or “can you just drop it,” if you don't seem pleased by his responses.

Despite his very obvious annoyance when it comes to misinterpretations of his relationship, Legend is quick to dispel any doubts you may have in your mind.

“Would you rather I tone down on the affection? I—” Absolutely not. You’re the only person he feels comfortable with when it comes to anything tactile; he's so used to it now, he’d rather die than lose it all because of some stupid rumor.

“Maybe we shouldn't share food or drinks anymore. It sends the wrong idea.” Okay? Who cares about an indirect kiss? What even is it? You either kiss or you don't. Besides, you have food that he wants to steal (or, he has food he wants you to try), where's the issue with that? Is sharing not caring?

One way or another, Legend is one of the less tolerant Links when it comes to his platonic relationship being taken the wrong way, only being rivaled by Wind and Four’s Blue.

“My Great Goddesses,” Legend groans under his breath. He folds his hands on the side of his temple, the beginnings of a headache working its way into his mind the longer he (forcibly) hears the group of older women coo over his supposed relationship. “Make them stop.”

A swift kick under the tavern table makes Legend’s complaints come to an end. The sharp glance you sent him reels him back in like a dog on a leash.

“Sorry,” he mutters just barely under his breath.

You laugh quietly, just barely audible over the afternoon rush. “I was trying to tell you to go after them,” you hum in an equally low voice. “I’m honestly a little tired of it too.”

“Seriously?”

“Naturally.”

There's a giddy feeling that fills Legend as he stands. It might have been the slight buzz that came with his drinks, or the more natural feeling that was released when he realized he wouldn't have to be nice anymore, but the feeling is there nevertheless.

“Will you cover my part of the bill if I manage to do it without making them leave?”

“Half.”

“Three-quarters.”

“Twenty-five percent.”

“You don’t love me anymore?”

Taking out your wallet, you shake your head at his antics while putting rupees on the table. “You forget the last time you pulled something like this; but I do love you, yes.”

“I love you too, then,” he hums, pressing a kiss to your cheek with a pat on your arm. “I’ll be sure to pay you back— eventually.”

TWILIGHT

This is not the first time he's been in a situation like this, shockingly. He and Ilia went through this same scenario with the villagers of Ordon, but it's the same twenty people with the same two rumors, so everything was squashed between them rather quickly.

But this isn't Ordon. It’s not the same twenty people; it’s everyone in different eras revolving endlessly.

Yet, Twilight doesn't mind.

Every question and comment is easily passed off with “oh, we’re just friends,” or “oh, no! I don’t see them that way,” with a light laugh.

Tactile responses such as hugs, kisses (to the forehead, cheek, hand, wrist), and hand holding are natural to Twilight. He never oversteps his boundaries (whether they're set or not), so his old habits are always fitted for them.

Being called your boyfriend be damned, Twilight is clingy. He's a wolf at heart, so being around those he considers to be a part of his clan. He gently pulls you out of the way from oncoming carriages with an arm around your waist, rests his chin on your shoulder or head while listening to whatever you’re rambling on about, and presses a kiss on your cheek in greeting and goodbye— but it's still strictly platonic.

Twilight holds more than enough respect to shut down anything like “I bet your wedding will be so beautiful,” and “your children will be the prettiest,” for the both of you. “We already agreed we’d be each other's mate of honor,” and “I already told them they’d be the godparent for my kids if I have any,” are almost always his responses.

Unlike Legend, Twilight genuinely finds it amusing everytime someone gets the wrong idea. He finds it easy to joke about when the person is gone or hours after the fact, but he will stop if he finds you don't find it as funny as him.

If, on the off-chance, you both visit Ordon (assuming you aren't from there), more rumors would pop up once more. Are you another Ilia? How long have you known Link? Do you treat him well, at least? Is that a ring on your finger? Are you wearing his pelt? When's the wedding?

Twilight is quicker to cut those off at the source before they spiral. No, he's known you as a friend for a long while (at least to him) and you’ve just so happened to grow close, he’d like to think you do, it's a family heirloom, and you just wanted to see the appeal in why he wore it all the time— now, please. Stop.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s not?”

“No..”

“Yeah, alright.”

Twilight hides from the barely cracked door, hands cupped over the lower half of his face to muffle his laughter.

He can understand where the inn owner might have gotten the idea that the two of you were an item.

Upon first entering the establishment, he was pushing himself against you as though you shared the same body (the result of paranoia following a run-in with a particularly strong group of poes). He had insisted you get one room instead of two before you claimed one bed was fine when told there was no room available with two.

He supposes the final nail in the coffin would’ve been when he dropped his wallet on the counter when you started rummaging to get out your own, dragging you up their stairs once the key was dropped into his hand.

Twilight can see the beginnings of your laughter work its way through your body and face as you close the door. The owner’s inconvenienced “try not to be too loud; I’d like to not lose any more customers because of pairs like you,” rattling around in your minds when he stopped by to return Twilight's large pouch.

“It’s still not funny,” you say, trying to steal yourself as you stumble back to the bed. “It— it won’t. It’s mean.”

Denial and the urge to be the bigger person was slowly diminishing within you. It was undeniable.

Twilight joins you on the bed, shifting and ignoring the burning pain from his scrapes as you both become comfortable. The cramping he’d feel during the night was inevitable, but he could withstand it knowing he was right.

[sibyl-of-space]

oh my god so a while ago i submitted the amadeus demo to a certain not-to-be-named indie event, not really expecting it would be accepted but figuring it's worth a shot and either way i get feedback. right.

now i have had... mixed... experiences with the particular group putting on this event. i think they do some genuinely awesome work and provide an invaluable service, but the overall community still feels wholly unprepared for anything even remotely artsy or weird. like even though it's an indie scene it feels very normie core. i don't even consider amadeus that artsy or weird, but i am occasionally reminded that i may have a skewed frame of reference compared to a lot of folks.

(a few months ago i attended a narrative feedback thing with them that was such a dumpster fire it pissed me off so bad i went and wrote 43790248932 paragraphs about it on here. like just genuinely some "have you, like, ever read a book?" tiers of utterly baffling "criticism." one of them pointed out to me that i may not have considered this, but Amadeus comes off as slightly rude. ....NO FUCKING SHIT.)

anyway. i submitted the demo because i figured the feedback would be useful, i can use any positive quotes in future trailers, etc. i have as of today learned that the game didn't get in and also received the promised feedback.

first of all i think it says a lot that from seeing in the email "we regret to inform you," my response was oh thank fuck. I don't really want to deal with tabling at an event cuz I have other shit going on and would rather focus on finishing the game since I've just made a lot of decisions I'm excited about; they also didn't get these responses back far enough in advance to actually prepare tabling materials if I HAD been accepted so it would have been more stress than anything else. I've also been salty at things like the above narrative feedback debacle so I was absolutely just like "this is completely fine with me."

But I made the mistake of reading the feedback provided and now I am going insane again.

TO BE FAIR! SOME OF THE FEEDBACK IS GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL, I may take or leave a lot of it, some of it raises good points I've already addressed, some of it clearly understands what I'm going for etc. I appreciate all of that.

But man some of this is pissing me offfffffffffff.

Some quotes that are making me particularly want to kill someone:

"When first meeting the witch the dialog is just incredibly long and boring and I ended up skipping through most of it. Given how linear this story seems to be, I think it would be better suited as a webcomic or a motion comic, not a visual novel."

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD NOVEL MEANS. JESUS CHRIST.

I am extrapolating a hint of potentially meaningful feedback from this which I'm already addressing (the personality of the Witch in that conversation should come through more than it does) - but this person gave that "feedback" in the douchiest most insufferable way possible. Luckily for them, I've since made that conversation even longer. Fuck off.

"Some of the music is very harsh and dissonant while being very repetitive, which made me less enthusiastic about listening to it."

This was the same person which just tells me they have no taste. Like hmm I wonder if there was an intentional reason I am using dissonance in the soundtrack about someone going through something insanely fucked up. The repetition is an understandable critique even if I'll be ignoring it, but "some of the music is harsh and dissonant" is not a valid critique. Soundtracks aren't supposed to just sound like nice flowery music all the time, or at least not good ones. I'll be making the full soundtrack more dissonant just for you.

"Is there a reason for the Amadeus's bracers to be colored in but not the rest?"

[different person] THIS . THIS. F. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

NO. THERE'S NO REASON. I TRIPPED AND FELL AND ACCIDENTALLY ONLY SOMEHOW ENDED UP COLORING HIS ARMS IN EVERY SINGLE ASSET THAT DEPICTS HIM BY ACCIDENT SOMEHOW! THANK YOU FOR CATCHING THIS OVERSIGHT! SILLY ME!!!! IM TEARING MY HAIR OUT

"Not all of the music is equally fitting. There's at least one track that gets a bit techno."

yeah and im adding another track inspired by Bad Taste Aquarium from Sonic Adventure and another one that's basically GoldenSlaughterer 2. girl help I'm being "critiqued" by lame people with absolutely no taste

im so glad i read this after i finished moving my to-do lists to a new project management platform and getting really excited/motivated about where i'm at with the game because if i had seen this 2 days ago it would have just fucking killed my motivation. man. it's literally so hard being the only person with #vision

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s6 ep4: Tinker Tenor Doctor Spy

This episode was supposed to be funny, but all the humor depends on finding middle-aged straight dudebro attitudes hilarious, which I don't. I'm not a huge fan of the Doctor to begin with, and stuff like this doesn't help.

This episode retreads a lot of the same ground as the Next Generation episode 'Hollow Pursuits', except with less fun and charm. In that episode, it was a character we didn't really know, Barclay, recreating our familar characters on the holodeck as an intentional way to make his new co-workers less intimidating. He didn't know them all well in real life, and most of them were his superior officers, so it was basically some guy in a new job trying to cope with a scary new boss. It turned the audience's view of the regular characters on it's head with an outsider's perspective, and as a joke, it was punching up because this guy had no power over them. Meanwhile, the Doctor does know the senior staff of Voyager very well, and (supposedly) considers them friends, as well as having a good deal of power over them as their only doctor on the ship. So his fantasies about them, rather than being funny, just come off as gross. I would absolutely be hurt if I found out someone who was supposedly my friend thought of me the way the Doctor thinks of the Voyager crew, especially the women. Wanting to be smarter and braver and better than everyone is childish, but at least somewhat understandable, but wanting all of your female friends to be romantic/sexual rivals fighting over you and constantly trying to seduce you in the middle of staff meetings is just icky.

That the Doctor can work alongside all these people for all these years and still see all the women in his life as sex objects is unbelievably offensive dudebro bs. He's not even a real person, he's a freaking computer program, and yet he's still got all this misogyny? Do the dudebros in that writer's room really think of women that way? Do they think that's normal? I guess so!

It's especially egregious with B'Elanna, since he's so rude to her all the time, and he's only ever nice to her when he needs her to fix his program. Otherwise, he's condescending and sometimes downright racist to her, and clearly doesn't like her very much for whatever reason, yet he wants her to be madly in love with him? He wants her to just forget about the actual relationship she's in and fawn over him? Eww! He has no respect for her as a person at all, and that sucks. In fact, this whole episode's plot was precipitated by him once again not respecting her authority, since she told him not to mess around with his program without consulting her in a previous episode where he did just that, and ended up assaulting her and almost killing a guy. Yet here he is, disobeying her again, despite his promise not too, and nobody gives him as much as a slap on the wrist. Janeway absolutely should have backed B'Elanna up and reprimanded him for disobeying her orders again, since she's functionally his doctor, in addition to being chief engineer.

The captain finding the Doctor's puerile adolescent boy fantasies funny isn't very believeable either. I honestly can't imagine Picard or Sisko being put in a position like that and finding it cute. Aside from the fact that she's the captain, and literally the boss of everyone, I know I'd be hurt if I found out someone I'd been friends with for years really just wanted me to be a brainless bimbo panting after him. The little tag on the end of the one scene where he has a line about wanting to be the hero all the time so he can help the people he loves rings hollow, quite honestly. It's meant to be there to excuse his obnoxious behavior, but he doesn't have to put other people down to make himself more important, and he certainly doesn't have to objectify all the women in his life either. It doesn't seem like he loves or cares about any of them very much the way he's constantly insulting everyone, and obviously doesn't respect the authority of any of the women on that ship at all. His crush on Seven is actually the least gross of them all, since he's at least reasonably courteous toward her most of the time, but he's still paternalistic and condescending, and there was absolutely no need for a scene of him painting her in the nude to illustrate how much he objectifies her, since we already know that. (And gratuitous female nudity isn't progressive. This is Star Trek, it's supposed to do better.)

Even the song the Doctor sings in this ep is full of sexism- I forget what opera it's from, but the lyrics translate to something along the lines of "women are fickle and have foolish thoughts in their heads". At first I thought, ugh, do they not know what the lyrics to this song mean? Why would they give him that to sing, of all things? But as the episode progressed, the sexism became a major theme, so I guess maybe it was intentional. Big yikes! The only things that were actually funny in this ep were when the Doctor imagined the computer sassing him and telling him to get going and save the ship, and Tom's 'WTF??' reaction face at seeing the Doctor's gross little fantasies. (Tom truly represents us all in this one.)

The real problem here is that the writer of this episode thinks that men treating women this way is normal, but it's not, he's just sexist. And so is the Doctor. So I found it very hard to have any kind of sympathy or root for him during this episode. Moreover, I think the whole premise that the Doctor is somehow being treated worse than any other crew member is ridiculous man-baby whining. They all have a job to do, and since they're alone in the Delta Quadrant, those jobs are even more crucial. Nobody on that ship would be allowed to abandon their Starfleet jobs to go do opera or whatever whenever they want, no matter if they're a hologram or flesh and blood. Nobody on that ship is getting a promotion either, and Harry Kim saved their asses more times than the Doctor did. The Doctor whining about not being assigned to go on an away mission is more privileged man-baby nonsense- nobody gets to go on every away mission just because they want to. And regular Starfleet officers aren't allowed to whine about it or be snotty to the rest of the crew over it and get away with it, they suck it up like professional adults- except for the Doctor, because he's a special boy, so he gets to be rude and snippy without getting a reprimand from anyone. (And B'Elanna was actually trying to be nice to him about it, yet he was still rude to her.) I guess the Doctor really is closer to being a real white man than he thinks, since he's got the whole sense of entitlement to special treatment down cold.

I just can't find any sympathy in my heart for rude, whiny middle aged white men, whether they're holographic or otherwise. The Doctor's disrespect is not only not funny, but once again, put Voyager in actual danger. Just because he was able to avert it in the end, it doesn't mean that the initial bad behavior was okay. I'm pretty sick of the way the Doctor's constant rudeness and disrespect of everyone around him is presented as acceptable or even cute, and he never gets any meaningful consequences for any of it.

Tl;dr: An episode that failed at being funny because it bought into sexist assumptions that all men think of the women in their lives as sex objects, and that men are oppressed when they don't get special treatment. There was so much gross dudebro stuff here that I found it impossible to sympathize or care about the Doctor at all in this ep.

[tieflingtareon]

My love, are you the devil? (Oh, call me a devil)

Chapter 27 | Words: 5.2k

Summary: Astarion found himself often surprised by his heroic companion. He had one goal. To become the favoured companion of the group, to earn the Tieflings loyalty, to make Tar'eons strength his own. Yet Tar'eon isn't like the usual target of his manipulations. Despite his naivety, he does not seem gullible. There is something very wrong with their 'leader' to begin with. Astarion isn't sure if he wants to control it or eradicate the threat it posed. But can he really do either when Tar'eon himself seems so...unwaveringly kind?

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50668558/chapters/127995079

Tar'eon didn't have his own tent, so he hid away in Astarion's. It was vacant, and if he was honest, he wasn't sure he could stand talking to anyone else right now. He curled up in the piles of clothes, head on the stolen pillow and wrapped up in the blanket from the inn, nestling himself down to sleep. It wasn't even midday but he didn't want to think anymore. For once, he wanted to sleep dreamlessly.

By some miracle, he managed to sleep for a bit before he awoke to the tent opening, sunshine draping across his features.

"There you are." Astarion tutted. "You know, it's quite rude to enter ones abode without permission."

"I needed to be alone, and I don't have my own tent."

"Right, because you prefer sleeping under the stars." Astarion mused and closed the flap behind him, sitting beside the tiefling. "So...are you going to tell me why you suddenly deserted us out there? Oh, by the way, Karlach personally invited Yenna and her cat to stay with us. I told her we have enough strays, but Wyll backed up her decision so..."

"I'm glad she's here, rather than alone." Tar'eon turned to properly face Astarion, sighing. "It's just...seeing Orin - it shook me up. I've never felt so...angry before. In my life. Something about her gets under my skin, and I was afraid of what I'd do. I almost killed that smith."

"Yes, that was...honestly? Quite arousing. Terrifying, but arousing. You really should threaten people more often."

"Astar."

"Right, apologises." Astarion clicked his tongue. "She had a lot to say to you, that shapeshifter."

"Yeah..."

"She called you 'sibling'. Remarked on your father."

"She did."

"Are you going to tell me why she'd say such a thing or...?" Astarion gestured for him to explain, but Tar'eon had nothing to say.

"I don't know. I don't remember. But I know my memories? She took them. She scrambled with my brain and now...I know nothing." He hated her. 'Sister' or not. "Maybe she meant sibling in a different sense. We certainly don't look alike."

"Well, considering you share a father apparently..." Astarion frowned before smirking. "At least I'm not the only one who'll be having a family reunion."

"Gods, I hope not." Tar'eon pinched his brow.

"We still have four hours of daylight...Perhaps a trip to the circus would help take your mind off things?" Astarion mused and Tar'eon chuckled.

"A circus? I don't recall ever going to one."

"Karlach is begging to go, I beg you to save me from this." He pleaded and Tar'eon gave it a thought. The circus...after all the crap they'd been through, a circus sounded quite nice honestly. A day off, if anything. They deserved one of those.

"We should go."

"Ugh, I was hoping you'd say no."

"Then why ask?" Tar'eon grinned, amused but Astarion's pout.

"Because I was trying that 'nice' thing you keep encouraging." Tar'eon shook his head fondly and sat up to kiss Astarion softly.

"I appreciate it. Come on. I don't want to slump about over this. Maybe going out will help."

"That's the spirit. No point in being a depressing lump in my tent."

Tar'eon chuckled. Astarion had played him like a fiddle. But for once, it was to benefit him rather than himself. That was an improvement when it came to his silver tongue.

****

"I'm not wearing that." Astarion refused as Tar'eon crept closer with the face paint.

"Come on! You're supposed to be hiding anyway, aren't you?" Tar'eon grinned.

"I'd rather be found by Cazador than wear that crap on my face."

"Oh, oh, me! Let me!" Karlach insisted, pointing at her own face. Tar'eon laughed and began painting her face with a steady hand. "Oh, it's cold!"

"Everything's cold compared to you, Karlach." Shadowheart chuckled and stole some paint for herself, happy to disguise herself given her current status as a traitor to Shar.

"You're right - I'll happily warm you right up, baby!" Karlach beamed at her girlfriend, and Shadowheart rolled her eyes but smiled anyway.

"Ugh - I'm going to go pick pocket some patrons, anything to escape this dreadful place." Astarion waved his hand and slipped away into a crowd of people. Tar'eon shook his head. He hoped he got caught.

He painted a giant blue butterfly across Karlach's face and she let out a squeal when she saw it.

"Amazing! Gods, I look good. You ever thought of taking up painting once this is all over?"

"I'm not that good." Tar'eon was flattered though.

"Karlach's not joking. You have some talent." Shadowheart assured. "Maybe you painted before."

"A painter and a bard - quite the creative person I was, huh?" Tar'eon mused. He probably painted with blood and charmed people to walk off cliffs with his flute, no doubt.

"You know, I don't think I've ever heard you play." Karlach frowned. "Can you?"

"Of course I can. I can play just about any instrument I put my hands if I put my mind to it. I just...prefer the flute." Tar'eon took his flute and frowned as he walked down the steps. He placed his lips to the mouthpiece and decided to play a cheerful, adventurous tune, eyes falling shut. He hadn't really played because he hadn't the time, or the privacy to. Yet when he put his lips to it, he could feel something connecting inside his brain.

A memory.

In his memory, the tune was softer. More mellow. There was no rush, no upbeat tick to it. Every note was drawn out, peaceful like walking along a riverbank beneath a full moon. Behind his eyelids, he could see a dark office, lit by candlelight. There was a presence behind him, he could feel it, but there was no fear. No anticipation. He was not in danger. The presence was as mellow as his song.

A warm hand curled around his throat, the cold claws sharp but not biting. His head fell back, and within the memory, darkness followed. He had closed his eyes. The music continued to play, air still leaving his lungs as his throat was cradled. There was submission in the act, something he knew was not freely given.

"Tir'yal...are you trying to charm me?" The music did not stop. The hand did not move. There was simply a chuckle, warm and low.

The memory faded into nothing, warped away, but Tar'eon could still feel the phantom hand on his throat as he pulled the flute from his lips. His upbeat tune had changed to that mellow one, and there were people crowding around him, looking mesmerizing.

"Wow..." Karlach breathed. "I don't think I've ever been moved by a flute solo before. Hells." She placed a hand on her chest. "I actually feel...almost cold."

"Was that your own song?" Shadowheart asked. "It was so...calming. Yet sad. I don't think I've ever entertained the flute as an emotional instrument before."

"I...I'm not sure if it's my song. I think it is." Tar'eon frowned, shaking his head. He couldn't get the memory out of his head. He hadn't realised playing his flute would open up more of his past to him. What else could he do to remember it? It was the only memory of his past that wasn't smeared with blood.

Who in Faerun was he? And who was the man with him? He used his infernal name with such ease...Like he knew the language well enough to call it his own.

"Whatever you were playing, it occupied the people well enough for me to nick a very pretty ring and some coin." Astarion grinned as he came to his side. "A beautiful song it was, darling. Perhaps I can show my talents at the piano one day. We'd make quite the duo."

Tar'eon smiled at the thought.

"I'd love to play with you." He could imagine in now, Astarion on the piano with his elegant fingers, Tar'eon with his flute pressed against his lips, creating a harmony together in a house they could call their own. It was a nice dream, and he hoped one day to experience it. He turned around to depart from the crowd and found himself stumbling over a few steps, righting himself in front of a woman with red hair - a druid. Or, he was definitely assuming druid with all the leaves and branches covering her modesty.

"Sorry, I-"

"This city of stone and steel is an endless scream in nature's womb. I have left no peace here." She turned to him and smiled serenely. "Until now. Your eyes, stira...there is pain, endless and deep. But also devotion - blazing like the sun. You're in love, are you not?"

Tar'eon stood straighter, his cheeks a touch hot at how easily she seemed to read him. It was a little unsettling, but there was little to hide from what he was guessing was a nymph - a dryad.

"I...yes. I am." There was no point in lying to the woman. "To someone quite close to me."

"You are wise to admit it. When it comes to love, vulnerability is armour. Truth, a sword. And trust, a shield." Tar'eon took in a deep breath, a little overwhelmed by her insight, but he understood. Love was not weakness. Being weak with the one you love was a strength in itself. To bare yourself before another...it was a risk that came with high rewards if you were lucky to bare yourself to the right person. "I pray you wield all three, stira."

Tar'eon smiled softly. It may be a sham she ran for the circus, but it made him feel good about putting his heart in Astarion's hands, even if they had conflicting views on power.

"Bring the one you love to me. I will look into your hearts and see if your love is eternal. Or doomed eternally." Tar'eon bit his lip. It was probably a scam. He doubted she would be able to know if Astarion and him were worth the journey, the pain and the healing, but...Gods, he wanted to have someone say it was. He wanted to know he was making the right choice with his heart, or if he was doomed to simply live with the heartache Astarion may bring him.

He turned to Astarion who was looking at the dryad sceptically, like he didn't quite think her predictions to be true, but when his eyes met his, they widened.

"Would you...like to try it? With me?" He offered his hand to Astarion and the vampire seemed surprised before he smiled, indulging Tar'eon.

"Oh my love, how could I say no?" He took his hand and came to stand beside him. Most circus' were full of scammers, sham magicians, but he didn't mind go through a little 'test of love' to make Tar'eon feel more secure in...whatever they were. Astarion didn't want to admit it to himself, but - he was also a touch insecure about their relationship. After the previous night, he felt like he was walking on eggshells, trying to ignore the forbidden ritual looming over their heads.

"Close your eyes, little ones. Be still as stone to earth. And remember to breathe."

"Do you think we could try next?" Karlach whispered to Shadowheart who smiled softly.

"I doubt she will be able to tell you anything I can't tell you myself about my feelings for you."

"Gods, I love you." Karlach grinned. "I still want to though."

"Alright, alright. Later."

Tar'eon closed his eyes, smiling to himself. Moments passed, and he only opened his eyes when he felt a shift in the air around him. A gentle breeze, the sound of a waterfall and running water - a lack of noise from the people around them. His hand was now empty as he looked around, finding himself in a peaceful hideaway of stone and moss, a tree trunk the only means to Astarion who stood on the other side with the dryad.

"Ah. Glorious. Your bond is sweeter than nature's dew. I see you. Know you. But do you know one another?"

"I know he's sweeter than nature's dew." Astarion joked, licking his lips and showing off his fangs in a grin as if to tease the dryad. Tar'eon suppressed a laugh, a finger to his lips as if to silence himself.

"Astarion: a tumultuous past hides behind a mirthful grin." Astarion made a small tutting sound at her insightful words. He didn't quite like being seen through so blatantly. "The heart is fraught, so let us begin with the joyous. When is he happiest?"

Tar'eon frowned, giving it a thought. When was Astarion happiest...?

"Well...I like to think he's happiest when we're alone. When he's being heard, listened to, and cared for. He likes fine things, and he like special treatment." Tar'eon mused before chuckling. "But I'd have to say he smiles most when elbow-deep in gore."

Astarion laughed, able to forget the personal part of his words in favour of the satisfying answer.

"Guilty as charged. Sometimes literally." Astarion shrugged with a smirk and Tar'eon walked closer, only pausing when the dryad spoke again.

"Your bond beats in pleasure. It is an honour to behold."

"Not the only kind of pleasure we get up to." Astarion quipped with a grinned. "Well, not recently, but the memories are good enough." He winked. Tar'eon shook his head, smile fond.

"Many things delight the heart, but only one makes it sing. Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?" Astarion frowned, looking away. He damn well knew the answer, but it wasn't one he'd like to be aired out like dirty laundry, thank you.

"Freedom." Tar'eon answered honestly. "That's all he's ever wanted. It's what he deserves."

"You're not wrong, but do we need to tell every stranger we meet our business?" Astarion narrowed his eyes and Tar'eon smiled as he walked closer.

"You're allowed your quips. I'm allowed my honesty." Astarion rolled his eyes.

"Our touch has been that of sunlight, but now we must ask the deep. The difficult. Fear sits in the soul of all - to tame it, we must name it. What is his deepest fear?" Tar'eon looked at Astarion, who was glaring at him, daring him to voice it out loud. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to chuck away the truth just this once. For his sake.

"Breaking a nail." Astarion laughed.

"Well, when you look this good..." He made a show of check his nails before his expression grew more serious, walking across the tree trunk to meet him. "Well, you were right every time. I almost wish you hadn't been, but...you do know me."

Tar'eon smiled and took his hand in his, squeezing gently.

"I press my fingers to your bond and find a shield - impenetrable. It is...beautiful." She sounded awed, and it made Tar'eons heart swell. "Your love is one few have - cherish it." She came closer, and then paused. "I only wonder if it is shared with such fervour."

The pair frowned, looking at her in confusion.

"Tar'eon...when is he happiest?" She was looking at Astarion now, who seemed dumbfounded to be asked such a personal question.

"I...Well..." Astarion actually looked embarrassed as he looked away from them both, Tar'eons hand holding his.

"You don't have to answer. I already know you care for me, Astar."

"Well...it's only fair to spill your dirty secrets in return." Astarion cleared his throat, licking his lips. "I...He's happiest when- when he's with his people." Tar'eons heart warmed, a small smile on his lips, but Astarion wasn't finished.

"He's happiest when he's talking to children, when an animal lets him get close, when he- when he can enjoy a good book in peace, and learn something new and - he seems happiest with...me." Astarion swallowed, heat burning the back of his neck. "Despite how much I'm sure I grate on his nerves."

"Even when I'm annoyed with you, I'm still happy to see you." Tar'eon agreed.

"Gods, you're a sap." Astarion scoffed like he hadn't said something so endearing just moments ago.

"You watch him close, for fear he may leave if you don't. He has made your heart beat again, and it is glorious yet terrifying." She seemed as if she was in love herself, her eyes almost starry despite their bright glow. "Tell me, what does he desire more than anything?"

Astarion bit his lip, sucking on it before he let go and huffed.

"Freedom. We're one in the same in that regard. He wants to be free of parts of himself, and I wish to be free of others."

"Perhaps there is more layers to be found within your partners desires." She mused and Tar'eons stomach churned.

"He was right. I do want to be free." Even if there was much more to it than that. "I want to be in control of my life, my actions."

"What is his deepest fear? The thing he fears above all else?" She continued, and Tar'eon watched Astarion, wondering what he'd say.

"He...he fears losing himself. Who doesn't?" Astarion had lost himself for years in his abuse, so many memories fuzzy from dissociation. From trying to get away in the only way he knew how.

"Perhaps there is something more terrifying than losing ones self?" She was talking to him this time, staring into his very soul, and Tar'eon swallowed hard.

"I...I fear losing him, even more than myself." He admitted. "I'm scared of become a monster; but I fear the monster devouring him more."

"The sword to the shield. Your love is both impenetrable, yet sharp. Where one protects," She gestured to Tar'eon. "The only defends." She smiled at Astarion who couldn't take his eyes off Tar'eon. "A perfect balance. All you need is the armour. Vulnerability. To truly bare yourselves to the other. Do not let secrets and insecurity fester and build a wall between you. Let truth and honesty by your bridge to one another."

She came closer, and the peaceful enclave disappeared, the sound of the city coming back to them. Tar'eon stared at her with wide eyes. He felt like he been stripped raw and put back together. She truly had dug down deep into them and forced them to face the matters at hand. Their love was not doomed - so long as they spoke to each other in truths and not falsehoods.

"Go in peace, seedlings. And know that you made one whose heart was long quiet beat with love anew." She smiled at them and Tar'eon nodded sharply. "And that you," She gestured to Astarion. "Have gained devotion and loyalty unlike any other you could conceive."

The pair stepped back from her, Tar'eon bowing his head in respect. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to say thank you or not.

"I..." Astarion looked lost for words.

"Me next! This is my girl, Shadowheart. We're ready to test our love, nature lady." Karlach grinned and Shadowheart shook her head, beyond amused.

"It can't hurt, I suppose - unless you embarrass me. Then you might find yourself hurting in a whole manner of ways."

"Hopefully only the good kind." Karlach winked. Tar'eon watched as the pair closed their eyes, turning to look at Astarion.

"You really feel that way?" Astarion asked, casting his gaze aside, unable to look into those mismatched eyes. "I...I knew you cared, but I never assumed I would be above your own life. I should have know, you've always had a gentle heart, trying to save everyone."

"You are above everyone." Tar'eon sighed, resigned to that fact of his life. "It's why I don't want you to do the ritual, Astar. Because I know I'll let you, and those deaths will never stop haunting me, knowing I could have stopped you from doing so. One persons life for several seems only justified, until you love that one person too much to ever hurt them."

"You would?" Astarion frowned. "If I did the ritual...you wouldn't leave?"

"I wouldn't. I'm not sure that's a good thing, though."

"I know you think this is only for power for me - but it's more than that. I'm taking everything from him. I will not be satisfied unless I inflict the same torture he inflicted on all of us. On me." Astarion scowled before his expression softened, looking up at Tar'eon. "I could give us so much more time, Tar'eon. If I ascended - you wouldn't have to fear hurting me. And I would never have to fear you dying long before I ever will. I could change you, make you my equal. Things could be perfect. Forever."

"And I would be haunted by the souls we damned, forever." Tar'eon reminded and shook his head softly. "I don't want to lose you. I fear messing with a devils contract will only bite us in the arse later. That you'll become someone different from the person I love."

"I won't." Astarion sighed, not sure how to get through to the man. "I'll still be me. Just...better."

"You are already perfect, Astar." Tar'eon took his face in his hands and thumbed at his cheeks. "There is nothing better than you. Not to me. You are perfection. You haunt my dreams and thoughts, and they are sweeter than anything I could ever taste. You may think yourself broken or imperfect or weak, but you are beautiful and quintessential and strong to me. You don't need some ritual to become better. You need Cazador dead, and to finally have the chance to move on and live."

He rested his forehead against his, eyes falling shut.

"I want to live with you. Once all of this is over, I want to spend the rest of my life at your side, in whatever way you will have me. I want to be your shield, your armour, your blade. I want to be yours, and for you to be mine. I want to be the modest man who worships the ground you walk on, even if I cannot be the rich man you slit the throat of." He chuckled, slowly opening his eyes to look at Astarion.

His eyes were glossy and wet, but he was refusing to shed tears. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at Tar'eon, lips twisted with bitterness.

"You offer all of that to me and expect me to not want it forever." He took his hands and moved them from his face, stepping back and turning around to weave through the crowd. If he was attempting to disappear within it, he was failing, his white curls sticking out like a sore thumb, but Tar'eon let him go.

He sighed, looking up at the sky. Whatever God was watching over him...He'd like a blessing one of these days.

****

He had really hoped there would be no bloodshed at the circus, but apparently whatever God was watching over him hated him and demanded it. He never thought he'd kill a clown, and yet...

He used the carter of water to wash the blood off his face and armour, offering Astarion one as well. Shadowheart was attempting to wash the paint off Karlach's face, but the tiefling was insisting she liked it and didn't want to ruin his 'art'.

"I'm more interested in kissing my girlfriend, not a butterfly." Which managed to make the barbarian sit patiently (she still wiggled, but it was Karlach) while the cleric rubbed blood and paint off her skin.

"Good! You lot made it back in time for dinner." Gale called as he walked away from the fire, quirking a brow. "Murder on the first day? I shouldn't be surprised, but I am. I thought you were scouting Rivington?"

"We went to the circus." Astarion grumbled.

"The circus? What fun! You know, that might help Yenna's spirits - maybe I'll take her and Wyll out tomorrow."

"Oh, uh, we kind of...killed them." Tar'eon admitted.

"You- you killed the circus? By Mystra - why?!"

"They attacked me first!" Karlach piped up, Shadowheart attempting to scrub blue paint from her cheek, holding her by her horn as she attempted to move away from it like a fussy pet. "They deserved it!"

"Absolute worshippers." Tar'eon explained and Gale sighed.

"All the good things get ruined before I can experience them. Surely I can join you tomorrow?"

"That should be fine. Shadowheart, Karlach, are you two alright to stay at camp tomorrow?"

"I guess. I'll just stay here and eat dirt or something." Karlach pouted.

"I'll stay and make sure she doesn't eat dirt." Shadowheart smirked.

"Gale, we leave early tomorrow."

"Fantastic!" The wizard clapped his hands together. "I'm sure Wyll will be happy to join us too."

"Obviously." Tar'eon smiled, knowing the two were basically a package deal at this point, the same as Karlach and Shadowheart.

"Oh amazing, does that mean I get to stay back too?" Astarion purred. "I mean, with two magic users on your team, surely you don't need my petty dagger, hm?"

"Astarion, you dismiss you own prowess!" Gale shook his head. "We all know an arrow from you is a deadly strike. Your precision is unlike anything a wizard myself could master. Magic is much too wild to have the same effect." Astarion grimaced but he accepted the praise.

"Well...someone has to hold this team together." He relented and tucked a curl behind his ear. "It may as well be yours truly."

"It's settled then. Gale, Wyll, yourself and I." Tar'eon smirked, smiling wider when Astarion glared at him. "Missed a spot, ph myirz." He reached over and wiped some blood off his ear.

"You're the exact reason I need time to read, you infernal bastard." Astarion muttered. He still didn't know what those damn words meant.

"Hm?" Tar'eons eyes crinkled with mischief as he shifted closer to the vampire, leaning in with a smirk. "You are the most radiant man I've ever met, and I want to consume every inch of you to shine half as brightly. I want to suck every last drop of sunlight out of your body through your cock." He let the natural hiss of the language overtake his words, the infernal sliding off his tongue like butter, and laughed into Astarion's shoulder when Karlach squawked.

"You dirty fuck!" She cackled. Tar'eon had forgotten she spent ten years likely speaking infernal to her fellow soldiers.

"I- Gods, what did you say?" Astarion asked, bewildered.

"Apparently something very naughty." Gale smirked.

"Keep studying, and maybe you'll find out." Tar'eon grinned.

"Oh you-" Astarion glowered and shoved him away, retreating to his tent.

"Xe dajy haf!"

"Keep your devils tongue to yourself!"

"That's the opposite of what he wants to do, buddy." Karlach snorted. Astarion closed the flap of his tent sharply and Tar'eon blushed.

"You think I went too far?" He asked.

"He's a big boy. He can take a joke." Shadowheart chuckled.

"Dinner is going to get cold if we keep chatting. Clean yourselves up and come to the fire. Yenna is quite the cook, with a guiding hand." Gale smiled with pride and made his way back to the fire where Wyll was helping Yenna with the hot ladle, pouring stew into a bowl for her.

Tar'eon smiled to himself. Even if her mother never came back for her...he was sure she wouldn't be alone. Not anymore.

****

As per usual, restless sleep plagued him. He scowled as he tossed and turned, trying to find peace in his dreams for once, but it seemed he did not get a choice.

"Naughty, naughty, naughty little master." He growled at the familiar voice, shooting up to face Fel, but he was no longer on his bedroll. Instead he was surrounded by stone, ominously doused in red light, an altar before him. He felt like he was home, yet it was unsettling all at once. Something was wrong. This wasn't camp. This wasn't home.

"You have disobeyed your Father's wishes one time too many." Fel's voice was still heard, but he couldn't see him, walking closer to the skull carved into the wall. There was a sense of dread, but also...belonging. Devotion. This...this was Father.

"For he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself becomes a monster." The sockets of the skull burst red with magic, staring down upon him. Father was here. Father was watching. "When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you."

He felt another presence in the room and turned to the altar, the slab of stone he could remember from another dream. The dream where he killed his guardian, his sacrifice. Now, Orin laid there, playing with her blade. A blade that didn't belong to her, his mind whispered with wrath.

"Another will embrace what you have rejected." Orin turned to look at him and he glared in response to her baring of teeth. "And that other will be your death." If he wasn't hers first, his conniving bitch of a sister, always after his destiny-

His destiny? No. No, that wasn't right...

"But your Father loves you dearly. You may reinherit yourself yet." Fel assured even as Orin pointed her dagger at him. His heart began to race. This was all wrong. This wasn't who he was. He wasn't- he couldn't be-!

Orin turned into a fearsome creature, with more spikes and claws and teeth than any beast of the Hells could conjure up. It struck fear into his very soul and he stumbled back as it approached, a heavy foot slamming down into his chest, pinning him to the altar.

"Slaughter your line. Become the last of your name." The Urge, the anger, it screamed in him to do it, to slaughter his sister, but the human part of him, his present self, didn't want to be another pawn in this game.

"Lord Bhaal shall have but one Chosen."

He wanted to be Father's favourite again. He wanted to be his Chosen. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to-

He wanted to kill Orin.

Sister or not, Chosen or not, he would kill the woman who stole his memories from him. Stole him from his life. He would kill Bhaal's Chosen, take her stone, and he would set things right.

He woke with a start, breathing hard. Rage burned beneath his skin as snatches of his past came back to him, all coated in gore and blood, in worship and devotion. He had lead his congregations, had been their master for years, and Bhaal...Bhaal had been his. A cruel master and...his father.

He was his spawn. His heir. His child.

That wasn't who he was anymore. He refused to be...All those bodies, all the blood, he would never be able to atone, but regardless, he was a different person entirely. Who he was before - it wasn't who he was now.

Yet he knew he would never be free of his Urge, not until he confronted the past...Orin was an abomination, mad and bloodthirsty. Even without his grudge against her, he knew he had to kill her. To end the Bhaal line with himself. By killing her, he could get her stone, and cut their father off from his plans with the elder brain. He killed Ketheric, and he would kill Orin. He would have all the stones in the palm of his hand. He'd be able to make things right.

'And Enver?' His mind whispered, and he couldn't remember when the mans first name become more familiar to his mind then his last, even with all memories of him being hidden to him or too fuzzy to be certain.

He didn't have an answer for the question, the implication, and that worried him more than anything; even more so when even the Urge did not beg for his bloodied body alongside Ketheric and Orin's.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

May I please have a Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood headcanon of Al Elric with an female S/O who can literally understand and talk to animals..which means she can talk and understand animals. It wasn't exactly always useful when her ability literally allowed her to hear what the animals say what they really think sometimes..it was sometimes rather rude (S/O certainly wasn't translating to Edward of when a animal said "Hey dipsh*t! You're short as hell!")

Edwards relationship with Al's S/O who understands and talks to animals.

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while. I realised while I was writing this that this ability would make the Nina/Alexander incident so much worse...anyway, I hope you like the headcanons!

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Characters: Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric x gn! Reader (separate)

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You have the strange ability to talk to and understand animals. What does your boyfriend, Al, think of this? Bonus thoughts on Ed's reaction!

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Al loves that his s/o can talk to animals. He's very fond of all creatures so he's glad he can share that with his s/o.

He's also delighted to be able to have "conversations" with animals when his s/o is present. He would talk to them regardless but it's nice being able to hear their thoughts.

If he's looking after a kitten he's found and his s/o tells him the kitten is saying nothing but thanks, he's going to cry a bit.

It doesn't matter that he can't cry as a suit of armour, he's finding a way! He thinks it's wonderful being able to hear the animal's gratitude from them.

If an animal says something confrontational or insulting and his s/o translates for him, Al will gently chastise the creature.

In his eyes, animals are like little kids and since those things shouldn't be coming out of a kid's mouth, they shouldn't be coming out of an animal's mouth either.

Ed also thinks Al's s/o's ability is cool but more from an academic standpoint. How do they have this ability? Is it a branch of alchemy? Maybe alkahestry? Or is it something else entirely?

He will question Al's s/o a lot about their powers, trying to get to the bottom of it. If they know where their powers come from, they'll answer Ed's questions as best they can.

If they don't know, Ed's even more determined to find the answer, both for his sake and theirs.

Always wants to know what animals are saying, mostly so he knows whether to fight them or not.

If an animal insults him or makes a comment about his height…well, it's probably best if Al's s/o keeps that information to themselves…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[thebrainmushroomsgotme]

social experiment at work

i work at a convenience store in a small town and i decided to do a social experiment of how many people have manners and how many don't.

i should explain that i do live in a small town so these results are relatively small and i excluded anyone I'm close with because they'd be biased towards me and be nice either way. i did this for 4 days in a row which adds up to 32 hours. i put them into 4 different categories:

"please" and nothing else

day 1: 2 people

day 2: 0 people

Day 3: 0 people

day 4: 0 people

"please" and "Thank you"

Day 1: 29 people

day 2: 11 people

Day 3: 3 people

Day 4: 6 people

nothing and "Thank you"

Day 1: 80 people

Day 2: 31 people

Day 3: 34 people

Day 4: 29 people

nothing at all

Day 1: 27 people

Day 2: 26 people

Day 3: 13 people

Day 4: 14 people

some of them are repeats because I'm terrible at remembering faces and don't remember most of my customers so there are some repeats here.

also in the "just thank you" section, that also includes people who were rude about it and I'm not actually sure why they said "thank you". People confuse me.

I'm actually going to do more experiments like this and maybe share the results. it's hard to get a good read on people by being in such a small town and this says more about my town than anything else i guess. considering how many crack heads are in this town and come to my work, I'm surprised there aren't more in the rude section.

i guess this isn't how many people have manners, it's more of how many encounters i have that have manners.

oh yeah, since i work at a convenience store, we have coffee and some hot food to serve. one dude (an asshole all the time istg) asked me to get him some food while i was bringing fresh coffee out. i just didn't say anything and he somehow figured it out on his own that he has to order food at the register. i put him down as rude because i figured I'd do customer encounters rather than the customers themselves because i knew there would be repeats.

[oozeandgoo-art]

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-

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*Why do this in private? There are a number of reasons: the first, and most relevant, that it means other people aren't going to randomly jump in and change the subject, so we can have an actual conversation rather than something that comes over more like a random accusation I may not fully understand out of the blue. Secondly, I have a solid handful of followers that I expect would probably defend me, and you don't need people jumping down your throat for "attacking" a person they like, especially if you're right but even if I think you're wrong. I also don't want to deal with that. Finally, I don't like being stuck between trying to understand more and feeling like I have to "save face" because the latter is bad for actually learning and growing as a person. I - of course - still do my best to learn in public, but without the pressure of a significant amount of outside observers it's easier for me to form an initial response and have a normal conversation. You can always take it public later, if you're convinced I've done something wrong and won't make amends. At that point I'm sure we're just going to be enemies so asking you not to is gonna go nowhere lmao. I take bigotry and my own biases seriously, but it's possible that after we discuss and I do some of my own research, we may come to different conclusions as to the relative problems with a certain depiction, discussion, or behavior. This is a normal part of socializing. Please give me the grace of holding a conversation with me first before jumping to getting on my case publicly. (If you're scared of reprisal, first of all, don't be because I don't like to do that, but secondly, you can just make a throwaway account to message me with. It's easy.)

[televinita]

I hate small independent coffee shops.

Sometimes I'm like, cool, I love that I've grown out of my anxiety! and then a mildly distressing, confusing or unfamiliar situation happens and I melt down on the spot.

(this is long i had to get it out)

BACKGROUND/THE PLAN: get my dad some Real Maple Sugar Candy for Christmas, because he nostalgically mentioned that being his favorite Christmas treat as a kid. Some people online say it's only for sale in season (approx. Feb-March) but there are a flobbity billion small independent farms in the northeast offering such treats for sale online right now, so surely Minnesota has some too. Because I'm not paying as much or more for shipping if I can simply go pick some up myself.

Small local/specialty candy store didn't have any, but after some googling, I found this indie coffee shop, Native-American-owned, that the internet says sells the stuff, so that seems promising. It's near a place I have to go to pick up another present anyway, so, 2 birds etc!

THE TODAY PLAN: Sit in the parking lot for 20 minutes to psych myself up first, because ordering in these places is always awkward AF as you try to find a place to stand and browse what's for sale and where the menu and prices are while the person behind the counter is asking for your order 3 seconds after you open the door.

So to make this as clear and logical as I can, I've decided that I will treat myself to a drink while I'm here. I will simply order the first and easiest thing I see on the menu (small coffee, or perhaps a latte/cappuccino), and then add the candy to my order because it would just be silly to go into a coffee shop for candy alone, right, especially if i get a really small portion of it, depending on price.

HOW THAT GOES: the place seems the usual amount of scary (people sitting at tables and in chairs, all pretty crowded together) but it's also cute, and thank god there are 2 people in line ahead of me so I have a minute or two to peruse. Cappuccino, $4.75, one size! That's perfect. It's probably only 8-10 ounces but still less out of pocket than at a chain store these days. I don't see any candy for sale, so when it's my turn, I order and then smoothly ask if they sell it.

"No, that was just for our pop-up shop," she says sympathetically, in a tone that says she's definitely been asked this before. So, on the one hand DAMN IT!!!!!! But on the other, she didn't make me feel stupid for asking AND I'm getting a nice warm drink out of it soon to combat the cold and blustery day, so I can go home satisfied enough since this was my last stop. After minor confusion when I'm supposed to scribbled a 'signature' with just my finger on the electronic pad, I'm good! This is the best outcome I could have asked for in a case of disappointment!

At this point: I would like to note it's 2:30 in the afternoon on a Thursday, i.e. not when I would expect a coffee shop to be crazy-busy.

WHAT NOW? I'm not really sure where to wait, since everyone else wanted their orders for here rather than to-go, but I just kind of step to the side while she takes the order of the last person behind me, and then gets to work. It's actually quite pleasant at first, because now I can scan the board at my leisure, try to commit some items and prices to memory, might come back here w/ husband actually! It is cozy as long as you can find a spot.

Anyway, it takes about 5 minutes from the time I first started waiting to when the first drink is called. It feels like a very long time standing there increasingly conspicuously while eeeeeeveryone else is sitting down, but I don't think it was. I consider finding a spot to sit and wait too, but the place is about 75% full already. It would be rude to take up a whole table for myself if I'm going to be out of here soon, what if a group of people suddenly comes in.

Second drink is called. I realize now that this is not, in fact, either of the drinks ordered ahead of mine. Starting to get slightly stressed, so I pull out my phone which has no data plan and pretend I can actually browse the internet on it. I don't need a table, you see, because I can play on my phone anywhere! Also I'm totally not impatient!

A third drink is called. It is still not for either of the people ahead of me.

HELLO ANXIETY MY OLD FRIEND: I find while looking down at my screen that my eyes are suddenly full of tears, as if I were back in college or the one and only time we tried to go out and do something with husband's friends. Because I SHOULD have sat down, I realize now, but also now it's too late to ~suddenly~ decide to "casually" sit down like I knew what I was doing and only planned to move now the whole time. Also there are people everywhere, and they will Look at me because movement is an aberration that draws the eye. They truly are every damn where, this place is the size of a postage stamp. I'm beginning to feel like I'm also standing too close to the table with people at it behind me, but I simply don't know how to move now.

The tears blink down. I try to wipe them discreetly but it's a double-attack so I just have to go for it and hope not many people were looking. Well, that sucks and I definitely can't raise my head now, but if I can get my drink soon, soon, soon, I can still avoid looking her in the eye as i grab it and run away and never come back here again. My face is fully red with embarrassment, heart rate is steadily picking up tempo and I have Located The Exits and am beginning to contemplate an upsetting but potential alternate move.

PLOT TWIST! IT GETS WORSE: There are now 3 people standing at the register, so she takes a break to collect their orders before it gets backed up too far, since she's working alone. I am momentarily relieved when one of the new people also stands nearby to wait, even though now I'm occupied in wondering how obvious it is that I'm crying and if he can tell and/or is going to be awkward about it.

I elect to pretend I have just gotten Terrible News and am trying to Hold It Together while tapping out a fake reply about calling someone as soon as I can. That would be a perfectly acceptable reason for an adult woman staring at her phone in a coffee shop to have tears on her face. Bad news is extra-bad during the holiday season.

One of the people ordering seems to be dictating a very complicated order as it is taking longer than average.

I'm also starting to panic about how many more people might have already been in the ordering queue before I got here.

WORSER: And it is at that point, where it has now been close to ten minutes (this would NEVER happen at Starbucks Caribou!) and what if I actually stand here like a fucking idiot who doesn't know how coffee shops work for a full quarter of an hour or even more and it's still not ready?? that I find to my sudden alarm I am crying and can't stop. Silently, but a faucet has been turned on and water is simply streaming out of my eyes. And, oh dear...now my face is starting to contort involuntarily, beyond my control.

FUCK IT, WE BAIL: That's right. I am simply unable to hold it together any longer and have already accepted my losses. It feels awful and stupid and unfair and I might has well have just pulled a $5 bill out of my pocket and lit it on fire, but I have reached my limit. The path to the door is no longer blocked by the line so I beeline straight for it. If anyone tries to stop me or call after me, I won't falter or care, I am Done. No coffee 4 me.

Of course the door I aim for turns out to be locked, so I have to pivot (and pass another table of people), but at least the door I came through is only a few feet away so I'm out a second later, striding away and now full-on sobbing because all I wanted was a goddamn hot drink and it was so scary and intimidating to go into this stupid tiny weird hipster space I didn't even want to go to in the first place, but I DID it only to have to PAY OUT MONEY and still not get ANYTHING AT ALL.

I got in the car and sped out of the parking lot and the coffee shop's line of sight as fast as I could. I hope the worker isn't too upset about wasting a drink/not knowing what to do with it; maybe one of the seven billion people who saw me crying on my way out can let her know I'm probably not coming back, while they gossip to each other about why anyone would do something so weird and not say a word.

SIDE QUEST: ...then I immediately spent like 2 full minutes panicking that my car was suddenly breaking down because it sounded really loud when I accelerated, and whenever I took my foot off the gas it immediately started slowing down, like not just coasting, but like I'd taken my foot off the gas while going up a hill. Pulled over in a panic, wondering what to do if my car died on the spot. Finally realized in my haste to leave, I had put the gearshift on whatever "B" is instead of "Drive." Instantly fixed, but wow what a fun cap to my day!!

AND IN THE END: Stopped hyperventilating pretty quickly once in the car, but still cried intermittently the whole way home. And again when I thought about trying to explain how something this small and silly got me so upset. I cried harder the whole time I was writing this post and reliving the experience while still being really upset that I didn't get my drink (despite paying for it!! but I obviously didn't have the wits to cancel my drink order so I can't get the money back if ingredients were wasted on it), mostly because i NEVER treat myself to fancy coffee drinks in take-out cups. It has literally been over two hours since this happened and I'm still crying.

To be fair, I haven't cried in a while -- about 6 weeks since I cried at all, and longer since I had a full and exhausting weeping session that usually a good sad book can provide me with -- and when I haven't done either of those but especially the latter in a while, the tears get all backed up. But still.

Anyway, that's the story of my really crappy Thursday and in conclusion, I remain firm in my hatred of small independent coffee shops.

P.S. Joke's on me because now between the lost coffee order and the gas I already spent driving to two places in vain, I believe I've spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $8, which would sure have made a dent in the cost of shipping. Far too late to order in time for Chistmas now, though, anyway.

[dualcastimpact]

dawntrail impressions pt. xi

In this installment: a terrible mistake is made.

Spoilers under the cut, as always:

After the Feat of Repast, we move on to Mamook for the next part of the Rite of Succession.

She clearly has no intention of speaking with you.

Well now, that's just rude.

The entire settlement is extremely dismissive and wary of strangers to the point where even the merchants don't want to have anything to do with you, and therefore you can't buy any items or mend any gear—it's really a rather nice show of gameplay–story integration. The best bit is this one Mamool Ja who's walking around the settlement: you can't talk to him, but if you keep following him around closely he'll have speech bubbles above his head asking why are you following him and imploring you to just go away and leave him alone.

I did feel a little bad harassing him like that, but it was really rather funny watching him become increasingly distressed at being followed around by some stranger (laughs)

———

Zoraal Ja: "Bested...by a mere shade..."

Alphinaud: "Not as you know him. What you see is an arcane manifestation of the Dawnservant as he was in his prime."

Zoraal Ja thinks it's beneath him to have been defeated by "a mere shade", but Raginmar's probably having flashbacks to all the primals he's had to fight—because primals are basically "arcane manifestations" of the originals too, and his first time fighting Ifrit he genuinely thought he was going to die. They're no joke.

———

Zereel Ja: "Tuliyollal's mightiest warrior... Yet wisest you are not. You who spurned your retainer's aid when battling your betters."

I want you to pay real close attention to the Autarch's words here, when he's lambasting Zoraal Ja for fighting solo instead of with his retainers. Just take note of that.

———

Alphinaud: "To prove oneself superior to blessed siblings by surpassing the shade of Gulook Ja Ja himself—that is the final feat."

Alphinaud: "The First Promise fought alone and fell short, but that is now the least of his concerns."

Thank you, Alphinaud "Mr. Exposition" Leveilleur, for the recap. Genuinely we could have learned this just from the scene with Zoraal Ja and Zereel Ja alone, I don't know why we needed to have the situation spelled out so blatantly like this.

———

Zereel Ja: "You could have let your foolishness end with your failure. But instead you attempted to harm an anointed elector."

Oh shit.

Zereel Ja: "Zoraal Ja. As of this moment, you are no longer a claimant. I disqualify you form the rite of succession. Begone from my sight."

Sure, Zoraal Ja absolutely fucked himself over when he gave into his rage and attacked the Autarch, but at the same time you can't help but feel his glee in disqualifying Zoraal Ja considering...

Zereel Ja: "My dearest child. Welcome home."

...he's Bakool Ja Ja's father. Like, that has got to be a conflict of interest, right? Sure, Hunmu Rruk is also Wuk Lamat's blood father but at least it was a secret! It wasn't like he went around blatantly siding with Wuk Lamat over the others like Zereel Ja is so clearly doing here. Also why are there so many fathers in this expansion???

———

Zereel Ja: "But ere we begin, I would see the fruits of your triumphs. Come, show me your tablets."

"The fruits of your triumphs"—dude, he's so confident that Bakool Ja Ja's going to win, that the pride of Mamook will be the next Dawnservant. How's this proper behaviour for an elector anointed by the Dawnservant to hold the heavy responsibility of watching over the Rite of Succession when he's so clearly biased?

———

Zereel Ja: "What is this? Where are your keystones?"

Zereel Ja: "Explain yourself, boy!"

I don't know how old Bakool Ja Ja is, he's presumably either in his late teens or early twenties but I hate the way Zereel Ja immediately defaults to calling him a "boy" the moment Bakool Ja Ja doesn't live up to his expectation. If we had doting fathers with Gulool Ja Ja and Hunmu Rruk, now we're getting the asshole dad with Zereel Ja.

———

Zereel Ja: "No matter. Not all can be expected to go to plan. What keystones you lack..."

Zereel Ja: "...you can easily take."

HELLO??? This is clearly biased, unsportsmanlike behaviour from an anointed elector who's meant to be unbiased and impartial, is no one paying attention to this?! Gulool Ja Ja, just how do you pick your damn electors, man!

———

Bakool Ja Ja the Mighty: "I...I tried. B-but I couldn't—I cannot beat her."

Zereel Ja: "You mean to tell me that you, glory of Mamook—for whom all here have sacrificed—were defeated by your inferiors?"

Zereel Ja: "You are as useless as your siblings. A failure."

Zereel Ja: "Leave and never return! You have no place here!"

That's kinda harsh, dude failed once and it's immediate banishment??

———

Bakool Ja Ja the Mystic: "...Let's go, Brother."

I know he's a prick but from the get-go he's never really set up to be the irredeemable kind of antagonist, I think. Zoraal Ja's the same way too, I think neither of them were meant to be hatesinks but Bakool Ja Ja sort of takes the cake here with how much you can relate to him if you have any experience with abusive parents.

Even the way he tells Zereel Ja that he's unable to defeat Wuk Lamat hits home for me; reminds me of the times when I had to admit not having done well in exams and I'd be given hell for it from my mother not unlike how Zereel Ja's treating his own son.

———

Zereel Ja: "Worthless! Pathetic! This was our chance to claim sovereignty, and he ruins it!"

He genuinely could not have been more blatant, how is nobody complaining about thisssss

———

Raginmar Steelbiter strongly disapproves. Wuk Lamat strongly disapproves.

I like how no dialogue was needed to convey the sheer disapproval from our heroes here.

———

Zereel Ja: "But...when these stragglers fail, Gulool Ja Ja will be forced to extend his rule. And in the next rite of succession, we will present a better claimant."

Zereel Ja: "So come. Stand before me...and fall."

(gestures wildly at Zereel Ja) This man very clearly does not intend to not let anyone else pass the feat! How is he an elector!

Also again, I want to take note about the way he talks about presenting "a better claimant" with what's going to be revealed in the next post. Just wanted to note that.

———

It's really incredible how they can convey a tired, beaten and defeated mother and wife in this one single shot, with a non-humanoid model without any particularly distinguishing features. I took one look and I recognised her.

Maybe because I knew what a beaten wife looks like.

———

Zereel Ja: "Do as you will. But until you triumph over the shade, you shall proceed no further."

Jesus, we get it.

———

Dignified Lady: "Promise, I would speak with you. Meet me on the western outskirts."

Oh?

———

Alisaie: "That was a dramatic escalation..."

Really, Alisaie?

[xtinyslip]

"you don't think that i can afford a tip? as long as my friend here hasn't been let down? you will be tipped generously." in all honesty, this was all it was about for cecilia ; none of this birthday nonsense was for herself. why would it be at this point? that would have just been rather pathetic and depressing of her. "oh, please don't take it as a complaint. i'm happy to be here." the word family made her swallow hard, most people wouldn't have recognised it but it had happened. honestly. what family? were where her supposed family right now? "you come from a large family, i assume?" maybe it didn't need to be large to be supportive but she wouldn't actually know anything about that. would she? "i will not allow this to continue! you really don't think i have better things to be doing on my birthday than making an appearance at some little place i'm not welcome at? you do not want to try this trick with me! it will not end how you want it too!" his mention of her surname not being a compliment made her suck in her breath. "I BEG YOUR PARDON?" it was one thing trying to make a fool out of her but her father? that was something she wouldn't tolerate from anyone. "if you know what's good for you? you will take that back!" oh, she meant it. cecilia wasn't sure if anyone had been able to pull an emotional response like this from her before. "princess? and you claim to know me." because she had never been that. had she? her father didn't even pretend anymore, with the shit he had her doing. "when i'm like what? please expand? because with how RUDE you are being, i'm not sure how worthy you are of knowing either." cecilia told herself that no one could get under her skin, it was an impenetrable force, no man could get to her and yet… he had. he had from the moment she knew it was him, he had. the only one here who breaks promises is you. for some reason that stopped her from being able to take in a breath for a moment, perhaps it was the weight of what he had just said crushing her. "are you seriously feeling alright? i'm a…" she wanted to say doctor but for a brief moment that hadn't felt right. what? that's all she knew. it's all she knew how to be and the thought of that not being what she wanted? anyone else would have collapsed but she was cecilia pederson, she remained standing no matter what. "earned it? or loaned it? hm?" what had made her say that? and with so much spite? she wasn't sure. she wasn't really aware of where they were standing any more, the entire scene around them had blurred… showing how irrelevant that perhaps it was in the grand scheme of things. "what else do i want from you? you flatter yourself. i didn't come here for --" you. then, why did it feel like in that one moment that she had? that on some subconscious level, she hadn't been able to fight the urge in her anymore… which made little to no sense, considering she had only found out about this place through emma. "is this what you call nice? a nice gesture? fuck you!" nice? that's what he wanted to call this scene that he had created? ridiculous. cecilia couldn't explain the hurt that she felt when she tried to think of leaving… but also the hurt she felt when she thought of staying. she didn't let people hurt her. there was only one person who had ever been able to do that and they had done such a job on her. she had never let anyone close enough to since but standing here… she knew she HURT. what the hell did she do with that? no wonder she had been frozen. "i will see myself out. anything not to have to look at you for a moment longer!" she meant it but not for the reasons it might have sounded like from the bitterness of her tone. cecilia didn't know this place but her legs were taking her somewhere, it almost felt purposely as she shoved past him and made her way to one of the doors. @fcdcdmcmories

"WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT FROM THE GET GO. AND DON'T WORRY, WE ARE NOT TOO BIG ON TIPS. of course, they're welcome, but.. what we want is for people to enjoy their time with us, especially if it's an important day like yours?" coming from someone that was desperately trying to not think about what day today was? it was something like that and.. still, it was the truth. he tried to tell himself that it was something that he did for all the customers but he knew that it was not, didn't it? it would have been foolish to think otherwise. "but hey, you're out here, celebrating with a friend. that's gotta be better than the work, right? no one deserves to be working on their special day. at least.. i try to give everyone here the day off on their birthday. it's something that you should spend with family, right?" and he tried to spend it with his as much as he could and.. right now, that made his heart ache for multiple reasons. right? yes. "excuse me? you were the one that came here when i specifically told you that you were not welcome anymore. remember? i told you to get lost. and shouldn't it be? you clearly are still as much a pederson as always!" no one and he meant it - no one - got under his skin as much as she did and right now, he wanted to scream. frustrated? yes. angry? yes. strangely... happy she had come back? fuck. he was. he was and he didn't know it. "oh, i do know you, princess. trust me, i wish i didn't. you aren't particularly someone worth knowing when you're like this!" who was he kidding? she had always, always been like this and he had been fooling himself to think that someone like her would change. that someone like her even knew how to change, right? still? "my promise? woah, woah, woah. i meant my job. not any kind of promise. the only one here who breaks promises is you!" oh. did he know that there were other people around? yes. did he know that they were basically yelling at each other in the middle of the restaurant? also yes but all that he could see right now was.. her. god, she made him so angry but also... "yes, chef. this is my place. mine. i earned it." not really, but.. but.. crossing his arms over his chest, he shook his hear. stubbornly? yes. "right now? i want you to do what i asked you to do and leave. you-- what else do you want from me? hm?" no, he didn't want her to leave. he never wanted that and he knew - he knew that standing here and arguing with her was better than the void of not seeing her at all. "don't tell me how to do my job! i'm... i'm... good at it," even that seemed so meaningless out of a sudden? god, what? why wasn't he leaving? did he almost look hurt? yes. "of course it isn't," scoffing. did he not believe her? no. he knew. how many times had he baked her one when they were still-- "because the cecilia pederson would never be able to say a simple thank you when someone does something nice for her. no, she has to find a way to make it so they never want to repeat said gesture again, right? you're unbelivable!" why couldn't he just.. move? leave? / @xtinyslip

[rottenstawberrygirl]

They say INTJ is so dangerous, rude, and cold. Ok but why do romantic!?!?!?! We have to change the INTJ stereotypes into “charming, luring sirens” 🗣️🗣️🗣️ My boyfriend is an ESFP which makes him the total opposite, lol! I may admire INTJs but I can’t just leave my boyfriend and go on a hunt for the RARE type. That would be so dumb! (Why not have both? 😋)

I yap a lot and so do you! My pen pal! My Turkish pen pal! 🩷 I like the story behind your name :D My name is Mariposa :) It’s a Spanish name (I’m Spanish / Latina / Hispanic (are they considered the same thing? Sorry, if they don’t, my autism can’t tell & im too lazy to search :( ) which means “Butterfly”. My mother named me that because she loves butterflies!

I’m a bit confused. Do I consider you European or Asian? I think most people from Turkey consider themselves as “European”? It’s funny because the other part of your name is literally “Asia”. 😭

Ngl, I’m with the diplomats (you!) when it comes to admiring analysts. Omg! Toaster-San at your blog :0 I don’t get it when people say that she’s intimidating in a bad way. She’s so thoughtful and understanding :) & she’s intimidating in a good way!

Your 🍓🐛 anon

I AM SORRY MY ANSWERS ARE BECOMING LONGER AND LONGER. PLEASE TOLERATE ME. 🙏 I tried to reply to everything you said.

And they are not even purposely trying to be romantic, they seem to just have a natural attractiveness 😭 I think most of them don't notice when someone flirts with them, and after two days have passed, all of a sudden it hits them in the head like, “Oh. They were flirting with me, weren't they? 🤔😧”

Unlike me, they have bigger priorities to occupy their minds rather than romance. I know that winning the heart of an INTJ would be very challenging, but if someone has won, I also know that that person should NEVER do anything to shatter it. Because I think INTJs deeply treasure the one they are in love with and they make that person feel like they are the most pretty/handsome girl/guy in the whole universe. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

~~~

You are lucky, girlie. I hope your boyfriend is treating you well, as he should. You are such a sweet person. 🥺Me, personally, I want to fall in love, but I don't have anyone around me that I'm drawn to. Perhaps love is something I am idealizing... I honestly can't imagine myself in a relationship. I'll either be the most patient and caring girlfriend you've ever seen or just a bundle of depression and anxiety. You've probably already realized from our previous conversations that I'm seeking for a long-term commitment. I believe love. I am a loyal person. Not only to the person I will love, but also to my family, to my friends. So if I am going to give my heart completely to someone, I need to know that person is right. I don't want to be hurt.

I do wonder what an INTP and ESFP relationship looks like, it's difficult for me to visualize, please tell me more if you are comfortable talking about it here. How did you two meet for example? I'm a sucker for love stories!

~~~

Mariposa, I like the way your name is sung. As if it is the name of a fairy or a princess. It's very pleasant and pretty. Well, giving you the caterpillar emoji was a nice coincidence then. Would you prefer to be addressed by your name or should I keep calling you with the emojis? I don't mind either way. Oh, by the way, don't worry, I gotcha. (•̀ᴗ•́)و

Only Spain is Spanish. But most other places speak Spanish too. You must be living in one of the countries in the middle.

~~~

As for whether I'm European or Asian if I'm being honest, I am not sure either. It is a bit complicated and confusing for me too. As you say, some say they are ‘Europeans’ and I don't think they would right because although technically my country is on both continents, it is not in The European Union. Culturally and geographically speaking, we are leaning more towards Asia, so there's that too. I would say we belong to Asia, however, I don't feel like an Asian either. I honestly don't feel like I belong anywhere. (・_・ヾAnd I think to the people abroad, Turkey probably seems like an unusual country. But at the end of the day, we're all just tiny little humans living on the same planet. It doesn’t matter as long as you are a good person.

~~~

People say Toaster-san is intimidating in a bad way?! No way! First of all, they should be ashamed of themselves for claiming such a thing. I've looked at Toaster-san's blog and AO3 account, it was truly astonishing, she even gave me a helpful and courteous response before. I've never seen her behaving maliciously to anyone. She genuinely seems like an insightful, polite person who values kindness, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to keep a little distance from people, after all, she doesn't know them and doesn't owe them anything, and yet she takes the time to answer to them with great effort and respect. People can be so insensitive. This saddens me. It could hurt her feelings to hear them call her something awful like that. I know I would be hurt. Have they no sense of empathy at all? >:(

[originaldanganronpascenarios]

If it's fine with you, can I get some Tsundere drv3 boys with a flirty reader? Like, the reader flusters them and openly shows their attraction to them? I hope that made sense lol.

Hm it's funny to imagine them all as Tsundere, hope I didn't make it ooc. Also this is pre-relationship hcs!

And GOD it's been quite long since I wrote the popular "v3 boys" scenarios! I kinda missed that!

Tsundere!V3 boys with flirty Reader

Reader here is gender neutral

Ryoma Hoshi

He tries to keep his cool. Even though he so obviously loves you. He has his own reasons to not "let it" show.

His hat is his savior, but it's one of number one signs that he's embarrassed.

Embarrassed Ryoma is a rare sight to most. To you? Everyday occurrence.

You often flatter him, he doesn't believe most of it but hearing you say it has it's own effect.

Maybe it's your voice that makes him feel happy, or maybe deep down he believes it. Either way he hates how uncool he is about it all.

"I don't think you should bother with me. It's not like we're close or anything so nothing should change if you just leave me be"

Gonta Gokuhara

It's not that he's a Tsundere, it's more that he doesn't want to accept his feelings while still being super polite.

He doesn't see your flirting as any romantic advances either. He honestly thinks you're just being nice!

So his main problem is that he doesn't think it's very suitable for a gentleman to think so much about his romantic interest concerning you.

Once you get him flustered he is a little at a loss. One one end lying to you isn't the most considerate, on the other he really doesn't want you to know his real feelings and desires.

"Oh- um... Gonta is very happy Y/N likes Gonta's company! But... Uh... Gonta can't stay here much longer"

K1B0

He can't really tell if you mean your flirting or are you just joking... So he's not going to let you make a fool out of him!

Although your remarks make him overheat each time he's insisting that it's not you who's causing this.

Of course you know better than that so you just smile and nod, making him think that you actually believe him.

I mean- of course you do! He's telling the truth and it's not like he loves your flirtatious remarks.

"Oh- this is nothing! I'm not blushing or anything... I just uh- need a maintenance!"

Kaito Momota

Somehow you made someone as blunt as him run from his feelings, good job.

I wouldn't say he's afraid to take a step forward in your relationship... But he desn't know if he's ready to be with you.

It's not a you problem either. I mean- sort of? While he sees your flirting for what it is and is flattered he usually responds to it by laughing.

He finds your lines cheesy, and he doesn't know if because of it it'd be okay for him to be with you. Think about it, you just tell him something really sweet and he responds by laughing? That seems kinda rude.

So instead he pretends to be oblivious... Which is kinda just as rude to some extent.

"I'm sorry for laughing but you really are good with those lines Y/N. I'm sure that if you flirted with someone you really like they gotta work! It definitely doesn't work on me though since we're just buddies!"

Shuichi Saihara

Although he comes off as the shy type, he's actually a really proper Tsundere. He doesn't snap at you as often though.

But he does pretend to be annoyed by your flirting. He usually doesn't say much, or just plainly not respond at all.

He tends to think more and speak less, so usually you get only half of what he actually wants to say.

He's very flustered the entire time though, so it's not like you can't tell your words have an effect on him.

"H-huh!? Stop that- are you even aware of what you're saying?..."

Rantaro Amami

He is rather cool with your flirting, but he never knows how to respond to it.

He likes you, but he doesn't think if he wants to be with you considering how often he travels.

If you actually asked him out he'd probably say yes even if he's not sure of what he should do. But he does like you a lot.

So he's full of hesitation... But still stays calm and is very polite to you. He doesn't want to think what is or what could be. So for now he keeps his distance.

"You flatter me, really. But you don't need to say it like that- it's not like we're together or anything..."

Kokichi Ouma

He's really good at hiding his romantic interest in you, but he definitely can't hide the fact that he doesn't find you boring at all.

Often approaching you he's quick to regret it with the way he feels about you that's his usual deal.

Messing with you is just his favorite activity. I mean you try to turn the tables and he definitely likes to play hard to get. So there is all gain and no loss from your interactions.

He likes to rate your lines. Especially if he gets flustered by them and he gets to pretend it's nothing.

"I'd give this one a 6... While your words aren't bad they aren't unique enough to impress me. Keep trying and I might actually swoon over you... Of course what I just said was a lie I don't think you can manage that"

Korekiyo Shinguji

He loves observing you. Not talking to you.

He tries to act triple times as creepy thinking you'd leave him alone and let him observe your beauty... From a safe distance where your words don't reach him.

But you just keep coming back and making him stumble with his words. Usually he doesn't loose his cool around those he's interested in... You however are special.

You always know the right thing to say, the right thing to do and he knows that you like him. He just doesn't want to be vulnerable by letting himself fall for you yet.

"Khehehe so you've decided to talk to me again? Interesting... Perhaps soon you'll be worthy to participate in... Oh wait I don't want to spoil the surprise now do I? Just don't think it means too much about the way I view you"

~Mod Angie

[solaeter]

Hey, i saw that your requests were open and i couldn't help myself. Could i request a fic of either Baji or Chifuyu with a girlfriend who truly believes the only good thing about her is her looks and that once the boys figure it out they'll leave her? Sorry, it's just that "person who grew up only ever being valued over their looks secretly is insecure and truly believes that besides that they have nothing to offer" is one of my favorite tropes and i can never seem to find any content of it

—Pretty n Insecure ft. Baji | sfw 

Titles are the bane of my existence! But I decided to do Baji for now and if you want Chifuyu, just lemme know and I can do his another time  ♡ Hope you enjoy and all feedback is appreciated!!

Warning[s]: Cursing, fluff, unedited because we embrace the chaos!

Word Count: 1.1k

Request Status: OPEN 

✦ Rules | ✦ Masterlist

"Shit Baji, your girl is smokin'."

"How'd you manage to win such a sexy lil thing Baji? Is he paying you? He has to be."

You've heard it all. From endless streams of compliments thanks to your fortunate gene pool and self care, or little jabs that your beauty must be the reason why you get what you want. But when you look at yourself in the mirror at night, you don't see what others see. Staring back at you is a soul that is scared, one that fears you'll be tossed aside once your boyfriend comes to his senses. You're nothing more than eye candy that hugs his side.

Yet you hide that fear behind your charming smile, putting on a mask that dares not to crack under anyone's judgmental gazes. You're envied for being pretty, rumored to be a mean person because of your looks. But you were nice, rather timid and more humble than the rude souls that pointed fingers. Baji defended you any time it was needed and he was truly too good for the world despite his violent tendencies. He always looked at you so lovingly, eyes void of their usual mischief and filled with something even he was still unfamiliar with.

And your mind toyed with you. It was all temporary, you were disposable. Nothing more than a pretty face to show off. It ate at you daily, and you tried your best to deny it. Because why would Baji do such a thing? You were pretty sure he wasn't capable of even thinking like that considering he only thinks about banging you, cuddling or catching cars on fire. Low and behold though, you had an internal bully that was slowly breaking you down.

"Why you frownin'?" Baji snapped you out of your thoughts, getting right in your face and squinting. You were supposed to be enjoying your date with him, yet you ended up staring off more often and mumbling here and there when he spoke to you. Baji liked to assume he knew you pretty damn good and he could tell something was eating at you. Especially since you have been talking about this date all week and you're now distant as can be.

"Oh, it's nothing. Been a long day." You flash a bright smile, one that you hoped he'd buy and take. Baji leans back and observes you, eyes still wary as you blink up at him, feigning innocence.

"That's a bunch of shit. Afraid ya can't talk to me?" He asks, sounding mildly offended while he takes your hand in his, dragging you away from lingering and curious souls. You don't get to protest and you mumble an apology when your shoulder accidentally bumps into someone else and your eyes stay locked onto Baji's back.

"Baji, I said I'm fine. What makes you think something is wrong?" You're curious as he stops and plops onto a bench, legs spreading wide as he pats his leg for you to sit on. Which you do and he looks up at the starry sky.

"I've had to put up with your constant bitching about makin' time to come out here and enjoy the festival and now you're lost in your own fuckin world." Baji bites, not meaning to sound fed up or anything. He was genuinely concerned and you bit the inside of your cheek. "I just worry, okay?" His voice softens, fingers rubbing small circles in your lower back.

You sigh, wondering how you would even explain yourself? Because what if it sounded completely stupid? Or he ends up agreeing with your fears? That you're only good for your looks. Oh it scared you so much.

"Um..it's stupid really." You mess with your hands, words failing you as Baji watched you curiously. He never really saw you act like this, all worked up unless it was over clothes or something girly. So to see you actually bent out of shape over something? Baji didn't want to leave you alone until he knew what or who it could be that was causing this.

"It can't be as stupid as Pah-Chin, so c'mon and tell me what's bothering you."

"Now that's just rude," You scold lightly and Baji scoffs, urging you on by motioning with his free hand, "um..do you just love me because I'm pretty?" There it was, out in the open. Your face burns and you chew your bottom lip, biting down hard as Baji stares at you.

Did he hear that right? "What kinda question is that? Yeah, sure you're smokin' hot but...who said I only loved you for your looks?" Baji questioned and you blink, shaking your head quickly. The last thing you needed was for him to go on some violent warpath for no reason.

"No, no! It's just one of my..insecurities. I feel like people only like me or whatever because I'm pretty and nothing else." You mumble quietly, eyes cast downward in shame. Saying it out loud felt so odd, ridiculous and stupid just like you thought. Why would someone like you have insecurities?

"You're stupid smart and you help me when I can't figure shit out, you got a heart of gold and you make me a better person. I'm not good with this comfort shit but you're more than just your looks." Baji says bluntly, pulling you close so that your head rests against his chest. He didn't have the smoothest way with words and he spoke off the top of his head but it seemed to do the trick. He could feel you shaking in his arms and when he tipped your head up to look at him, tears were streaming down your cheeks.

"I-I was scared you'd wanna leav–" You stumble on your words but you're cut off as Baji smashes his lips on yours. He didn't want to hear your blubbering about him leaving you, instead he rather shower you with affection. You melt against him, hands moving to rest on his shoulders, your mind is made into mush as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, tugging gently until he releases it and nudges his nose against yours.

"I ain't leaving you, not now. Not ever. You're stuck with my ass." Baji reassures gently, giving you a toothy grin that has your heart fluttering.

"Good, cause same," You smile, wiping your eyes, "though I am sorry for ruining tonight." You glance at the time on your phone and pout. Curfew was in half an hour and you spent all evening being a baby.

Baji stands with you in his arms, hands planted right on your ass as he walks away further from the bustling festival. "You didn't ruin anything. Just talk to me next time you're feeling sad or..doubtful." He didn't understand girls or their ever changing emotions. But he didn't like seeing you sad over something that is easily reassured. So he'd always be there for you, regardless.

"Thanks, Kei. I love you." You fling your arms around Baji's neck and hug him tight, earning a low chuckle and a swift smack on the bottom.

"Love you too baby."