#cause aint nobody gonna read this

[divinelolita]

heyyy boo boo bear🥰🥰🥰

so i finally thought of smth(kinda did i alr send this) AHEM full band(separately headcannons cause aint nobody wanna write alat) with s bf who is a BIG ASS ppl pleaser(wait wait this aint the main idea)

so

imagine reader prolly always gets his back blown out but he's always giving the aftercare(like them mfs dont have a choice) and on one particular round or smth reader didn't tell them to stop when he started to feel lightheaded n shit cause he could hear them whispering how good this was etc etc so he was about to pass out or smth like that(he didn't he survived) yet he STILL offered to give aftercare like a mf idiot(me)

ANYWAY im in school but i had to give u this idea frfr

BAND X PEOPLE PLEASER READER

HELP I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE PURE FLUFF UNTIL I GOT TO THE FUCKING BACK BLOWN OUTTTTT

(contains nsfw themes so if you don't like that don't read)

BILL:

・He's 50/50 on noticing small things like this

・But he's in such a euphoric state, whimpers leaving his lips as he rams into you with his hands wrapped around your waist

・Listening to you tell him how good he is, but over time your words die down and eventually your silent.

・He can barley ask if your okay, nearly stopping his movements. He would've stopped completely if it weren't for you telling him to keep going. As long as he felt good, right?

・After climax (EWWWAHHH) he leans knto your neck, smiling as he hears you begin to ask that amazing question

"Wanna go show-"

"yes."

・He just likes your fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp as you rub the conditioner in.

・He's been itching to ask if you were really okay, he doesn't want to seem too worried or overreactive. He can already feel tears prickling his eyes as yo hesitate to ask at the startxbefore admitting to feeling ill.

・God fucking damn it..I should've stopped I-"

"It's not your fault, babe.."

・Cuddling you for the rest of the day (or night), not being able to take his hands off you as he tries to make it up to you.

・No like...literally can't take his hands off you. If you eat later that day he seats you on his lap.

TOM:

・He gets caught up in his own pleasure.

・Like he won't really notice it when you slowly stop responding, or when you go a little too limp

・He's in some sorta headspace 😭

・Whispering to you how good you feel around him, how perfect you are..

・After allat, he eventually snaps out of it and notices how your barley making any noise or aren't talking

"M/N? .. M/N you okay???"

"Hmmm..? Yeah I'm good..wanna take a bath with me.?"

・During aftercare he keeps asking if you're okay under his breath, kissing your cheeks as you rest in the tub together.

・If you actually confess to feeling ill or lightheaded his heart stops for a second

・HE ACTUALLY FEELS SO BAD STOPPP

・Like he'd kinda try to hide it, but eventually emotions get the best of him and soon enough he's holding back tears apologizing to you kissing over your neck, ignoring you when you say you were fine.

GEORG:

・Like Tom, he's not exactly the best..

・Telling you how good you are for him under his breath, not exactly noticing you slowly stopped responding.

・Can't help but feel concerned, unsure if he should stop or keep going

・He nearly did, but your hand gripped his thigh to stop him from pulling out so..

・Afterwards he puts on your favorite show/movie, snuggling against you as he leaves kisses on your forehead.

・Doesn't ease into it and just asks you flat out.

"Were you okay..?"

"What-"

"yes or no."

・no

・He feels a lump build at the back of his throat, yet he still tries to talk to you

・Asking when or what made you feel this way, making sure he would never do this to you again

・He feels bad about it a few days later, even with your constant worss that you were okay

・He's scared to have sex with you again for a little...THAT SOUNDS SO WEIRD BUT IT'S TRUE?

・Like I said- he doesn't want to put you through that again

・but likeeee you need that dick so you convince him and it all works out

GUSTAV:

・HE'S TOO SWEET STOP

・He's quite good at noticing things like these.

・Stopping his movements when you start to look..off. Or when you just stop making noise completely.

・Ignoring your soft whine of protest, asking you "Are you good..?" ..no you're not. you're gonna say you're not and -

"Yeah I'm fine...keep going please..!"

・Hesitate before going back to his pace he was at before, kissing your chest and neck as his fingers go down your waist and tickles down your thighs

・Still concerned he can't really hear your moans or whines, but you said you wanted more so he should continue..

・He's sooxfucking tired after sex omg..hes surprised when you ask to give aftercare

"Are you sure? You don't wanna like..sleep?"

"No, no. Let's go get water or something."

・Giving you an aspirin and a water bottle as he gets a piece of candy, not being able to take his eyes off you as he contemplates if he should ask if your okay.

・he does. you answer.

・HE WANTS TO CRY WHAT

・Like..he made you feel lightheaded? He made you nearly pass out? He made you sick?

・Can't even bother to look at himself or think about him, only focusing on you and your needs as he spoils you rotten.

[insideliascrazyhead]

Sannoh Rengokai´s instagram shenaningans remix Sleepy Lion is actually a baby snake?! 2

Jesse:I´m a total slut for pink hair.Just gotta put that out there

Ice:& 4 ur boytoy.

Naomi:A pink cobra.a rare creature to see in the wild

Tetsu:i dead ass feel like whenever Cobra partys with the Mighty Warriors he turns into a crazy new persona and I wanna meet that guy

Smokey:split personality disorder needs a lot of treatment.go seek therapy.yall need therapy

Hyuga:says the sick victorian child

Murayama:smokey be coughing and goes please lord may i live longer im only 7

9:coughs up blood disease,gotta get that treated first.

Takeshi:Rude

Muraymama:nah Rude Boys!* makes crazy squirrel moves *

Yamato:Cobra the party animal.love that.

Noboru:Able to even drink Yamato the tank under the table!

Sara:thats a hilarious drinking game.really.it´s called alcoholism

Fujio:Just deadass found this funny little guy in Tsukasas bathroom

Yasushi:Taking a shit in company.now that´s classy

Todoroki:Probably whole heartedly means it too

Tsukasa:that´s sir Froggington Barthollowquak the fourth

Jamuo:what a distinguished gentle man

Kizzy:i love this shit

Ice:man let me tell yall their apartment looks like a curriosity store anyways.

Naomi:Totally i also got my crustation menstruation station lobster that holds pads etc,from Cobra a

Cobra:When Jesse´s wasted he speaks to that thing

Jesse:When we got him Cobra usually forgot we have him.So at night when Cobra went in there we heard him scream bloody murder!

Hyuga:Aint nobody else weirded out by this?Just me?guess I go fuck myself then...

Tetsu:growing up around all that weird crap must be fun tho

Tsukasa:it is.its like a wonderland

Jesse:Heart Eyes Motherfucker<3

Ice:Suprise Motherfuckers?

Murayama:Break Cobra-chans heart Imma break your bones

Naomi:Exactly.What he said.

Yamato:C´mon guys there together for like 17 years and have a teenage son together! Noboru:Still I was in jail once and won´t mind going again...

Jesse:Yáll are crazy I would never hurt Cobra! Sarah:You did go to jail for a few years and left him to raise Tsukasa. Cobra:Relax.I had help from literally everyone.

Rocky:Well if you break up i would just state:that´s on dating a former Doubt member

Kizzy:So was I tho...

Kaito:He doesn´t mean you sweetheart.You´re an angel and we´re thrilled to have you.

Smokey:questionable adorable

Fujio:Goals tho.Hope Tsukasa and I end up like you and Cobra-san! Cobra:Don´t even think about kids until you´re at least done with school!

Todoroki:The bar is so low it´s literally on the floor Tsukasa.You didn´t even finish school dad! Jesse:Yeah and because he didn´t go to school we had you...

Sarah:Cobra got knocked up cause he didn´t knock you out.

Fujio: OMG what if he knocks me up?!

Tsukasa:

Cobra:No that happened because of a cheap tequila and a gas station condom!Also Fujio that won´t happen to you cause you don´t have a uterus!

Fujio:Was it removed the time I needed to go to the hospital to have a surgery because i was in so much pain.

Tsukasa:No Fujio.That was your appendix.You don´t have a uterus because you got amab

Ice:Yeah fuck the police!Acab and all that!

Cobra:I should knock myself out it would be a lot less painful than reading this!

Cobra:date night suprise by Jesse

Kizzy:when you paint each other then Jesse got a beautiful masterwork aka Cobra´s face

Kaito:And Cobra? Rocky:Cobra has a horror halloween decor of Jesse´s ugly mug

Jesse:Mean!MeanieMouse! Ice:draw each other naked now that´s a date night

Dan:Ew.Nobody wanna see that shit.

Murayama:I wanna see Cobra-chan naked!

Hyuga:if the whole gangleader,gas station shit aint gonna work he would make a ton of cash on onlyfans

Smokey:you nasty pig.

Jesse:Now you got me clutching my imaginary cause im broke ass fuck pearls right now

Chiharu:Well he´s just stating facts

Tetsu:right onlyfans!thats the easiest thing i couldve done after the bathouse closed.

Sara:Cobra would be successfull on onlyfans,you wouldn´t

Tetsu:are you bodyshaming me

Cobra:she´s not saying that you´re so scrawny that you would get lost in the covers lilke a remote.She just said you aint got that personality and attitude of being like oh fuck yeah i´m gorgeous.

Dan:that wine was probably empty ten minutes in

Jesse:It was we switched to tequila

Tsukasa:yeah i came home and they painted nearly everything but the canvas.furniture,walls but nope canvas was clean

Ice:Why did jesse start off with water tho.

Jesse:Yeah,that wads totally water and not vodka*sweats nervosly*

Cobra:yeah and you didn´t throw up all morning,screaming you´re dying.it was miserable

Tsukasa:Lovely conversation between my parents as usual

Jesse:Romantic evening slutz,reloaded!<3

Sara:only way to capture cobra´s heart is candy

Pearl:You gonna get diabetes

9:sweeeeeet (literally)

Cobra:Nah got hypoglycemia already i need that shit

Dan:shitty excuse Naomi:if i try to be romantic Yamato would inhale that shit like a vaccum cleaner

Yamato:i wouldn´t you´re a mean little person.i would love a romantic evening like that

Naomi:yeah and in the end you bite my hand instad of a marshmallow

Rocky:dentist bill through the roof

Cobra:yall ever heard of a toothbrush?no?explains it all...nasty fucks

Hyuga:especially with you´re weird ass silver teeth like the back of a damn garadge truck

Smokey:looks like a oompa loompas colon

Ice:Yo we all gonna eat at jesse´s from now on!

Tsukasa:blood type sugar syrup.

Cobra:Yall way too dramatic

Tsukasa:nah you got the eating habits of a toddler.you´re a grown man.not even your son is a toddler anymore thats how old you are.

Cobra:So what you wanna have me eating then?prune juice and oatmeal with raisins?Hell nah.-

Sarah:Found this oldie and thought that´s gotta go on social media

Cobra:Where did you find that ?!

Ice:We found that in you real life facebook! Tsukasa:You mean a photoalbum? Sarah:That exact one.

Fujio:Awww tiny baby Tsukasa

Rocky:Good that he didn´t get Jesse´s looks * dry heaves *

Noboru:You looked like death

Jesse:oh screw you you know exactly babies don´t like sleeping at night

Naomi:thats not exactly how it works...

Jesse:you know exactly how I let Cobra sleep most nights of course I know the baby doesn´t like sleep

Murayama:Aww a sleepy baby lion snake.Well now he likes sleeping a looooot more

Yamato:Or crazy idea,he prefers Cobra

Kizzy:Even I prefer Cobra

Jesse:We all do girl.That´s exactly why the least I can do is let Cobra sleep through the night with all he did for the baby

Jesse:Cobra on vaccation not amused by the freezing cold.

Sarah:Cobra cold.Cobra retreats.

Tetsu:Escape the cold!

Naomi:Snakes are warm blooded creatures after all

Jesse:loved how he stepped outdside and immidiatly said „yep.imma piss ice cubes all night“

Murayama:not vacay all day huh Cobra-chan?

Yamato:Cobra´s rule for vacation „I´m not adulting today“ Ice:Can yall imagine a romantic vacation tho where you wanna get kinky and shit and its like ah

yeah just let me peel the ten layers off that im wearing like a fucking onion

Noboru:you did cobra dirty.beach vacation then boom.ice age 5 cobra crawls out of the woodwork

Cobra:thats exactly why we spend the rest of the weekend in the hotel room

Hyuga:oh you kinky bitch i love that

Dan:so did the hotel bill huh?

Jesse:not necessarily.cobra was wrapped in a blanket borrito.He took the blanket borrito with him whenever he left the bed

Tsukasa:Totally sounds like dad.So yeah that fits.

Naomi:That´s how he looked when Cobra made a new Sannoh family tradition up;

that night we all went tipsy grocery shopping;one rule;whatever we get we need to take out of other peoples shopping carts and replace them with something weird or inapropriate.

Tsukasa:best shopping trip ever

Murayama:That´s sound so good I gotta try this with Seki and Furuya! Fujio:Damn that´s the greatest family to marry in ever!

Jesse:It was so hard to be sneaky tho! Cobra:Naomi the feral chaos gremlin totally won tho!

Yamato:Fuck yeah!She replaced a few onions with hair coloring even tho that guys bald.

Smokey:Sounds ridiciulously like a fun trip tho

Rocky:And risky to get your ass kicked Cobra:Fun sponge

Hyuga:what? Tsukasa:You heard my dad firework boy,he said fun sponge.

Jesse:Found this old ass photo from our first date night after baby Tsukasa!Yamato babysat last minute and I just went to Cobra and rushed him out just how he was,before Yamato escapes.

Yamato:You nearly left dust clouds so fast where you

Naomi:If you would be a teenager that´s up all night with a screaming baby you would want a break too

Ice:Ey yo don´t forget Jesse be talking like a toddler all day!

9:He complained so loudly.Like „If I read one more time in some damn book what sound does a cow make...It´s moo motherfucker!Moo!“ hilarious

Kizzy:Cobra may didn´t finish highschool but he easily (at least I hope so) could´ve read the baby a book

Noboru:He tried.At the what sound does a pig make he says hey i know that.it says you have the right to remain silent! Sarah:How about leaving the raising to the good old tv? Tsukasa:He and Yamato always watched wrestling with me until I cobra-twisted a kid in daycare...

Yasushi:You little psycho i love that

Kyoshi:You can´t say much you´re favorite childhood toy was a hammer.

Dan:You really went the date in joggers?

Cobra:Not everyone is as desperate as you Dan,also Jesse tried to replace date night with dinner.

Naomi:That´s so romantic. Cobra:Not if you burned the soup out of the can you wanna make.It went gooey and green.

Jesse:Rude!Yamato still ate it

Tetsu:Yamato would eat a motorcycle if he could...

Yamato:and i throw up so violently you toilet cried kill me....

Noboru:no.that was probably your intestines

Pearl:why would anyone let jesse cook.he´s miserable at cooking.

Tsukasa:That was like thousand years ago

Murayama:Woah Cobra-chan still looks as young as when he was a teenager.

Jesse:He pickled himself in tequila.

[pumpkinsy0]

heyyyyy @iamjustrobin!!! ik u blocked me but idc!!! maybe this’ll get to u!!! im making this post so ppl also know to stay away from u as well!! u defending a grown ass mf making porn of canonical minor characters isnt the move u think it is either, ur also a weirdo as well, hope this helps<3333

idgaf about the ageism, your ODDBALL FRIEND is making PORN OF MINOR CHARACTERS!!!! and no, if you ignore things, they literally just grow and grow, and call me crazy, but making material like that in a fandom filled to the BRIM w minors is weird, and u shouldnt be near this fandom at all😭😭 a 50 plus fic of omegaverse dallyboy where in a good chunk of em, pony gets pregnant when your 30+ years old is (in fact) not normal nor should that be normalized!!!!

me making that entire post isnt “unnecessary” the purpose just wasnt for YOU!! it was for the majority of minors who are in this fandom who you cant seem to respect at all, and the ppl who can actually think for themselves and realize “hm,, this IS weird to do, ESPECIALLY as a grown ass adult🤔🤔🤔” you just want a reason to make shitty and weird content of minors bc your ship suckssssss and nobody wants to touch it👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

“not surprised of adults being a minority in public fandom” maybe its bc this book is read to a group of MIDDLE SCHOOLERS every year??? nigga shut UP, im not gonna police the way i act to mfs who cant give basic respect to others as well😭😭

“ageism isnt cute” as if your shitty lil friend aint talking badly about minors (WHICH MIND YOU, YOU NEVER DENIED) like damn id be ageist too fuck yall fr

if you CANNOT see the problem with these things, youre genuinely, wholeheartedly, a lost cause

[popuptent1]

Sooo i just finished reading the kamokedai match and i need to express the thousand emotions going through my head rn (rant)

WARNING: VERY HEAVY SPOILERS and a BUNCH OF YELLING AND RANTING

if you dont wanna get yelled at i suggest you ignore this post :)

yes yes I know im VERY late to the party and that this manga ended years ago but i just finished reading this so lemme just get it outta my system and ill be on my way

First of all WHAT THE HECC FURUDATE WHY U GOTTA DO US LIKE THAT

they rlly made it so that hinata got sick at the worst possible time huh

like i get it, its to build even more tension but they didnt have to do that i mean cmon my heart was beating stupidly fast while reading that. Takeda even made a whole like five page speech to hinata which is what made us readers all go "oh ye we're losing this match arent we"

And they even made tsukki have to go on the bench cause of his leg becuase why not rub more salt into the wound amiright?

Anyways after the out of pocket plot twist where hinata goes to the hospital it not much of a suprise that kamokedai won but it still hurt ToT.

Yes, i actually thought they had a chance of winning ok? i get that kamokedai is much better than karasuno but still. they couldve won ;(

and then out of nowhere ITACHIYAMA LOST??!!! like what the actual flic flac??!! bro is hitting us with 50 different plot twists at once. First hinata get a fever, then tsukki also goes outta action, then they lose the match, then itachiyama also loses the match WHYYYYYY

i was not mentally prepared for this and was so looking forward to seeing sakusa and the libero whos name i forgot play against fukurodani in the finals but NOPE I GUESS WE AINT GETTING THAT TODAY

Now onto the MAIN REASON I AM TYPING THIS (yes im just warming up here folks)

I am a HUGE fukurodani fan they will always be my #1 favourite team

i thought we were gonna see the semi final and finals matches after karasuno lost but NOPE they just skipped those and was like TIMESKIP TIME WHO CARES ABOUT FUKURODANI :D

(i havent read the timeskip yet since, apart from bokuto, none of my faves are playing volleyball)

so naturally, i turned towards google to see if they do win the nationals

I WAS SO CERTAIN FUKURODANI WERE GONNA WIN THE NATIONALS YOU HAVE NO IDEA I PUT MY HEART ON THE LINE AND WAS 100% SURE THAT THEY WERE GONNA WIN EM ALL YK WHY??

DO

YOU

WANT

TO

KNOW

WHY

BECAUSE FURUDATE MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY WERE REALLY DESTINED TO WIN THE WHOLE DAM THING

SO WHEN THEY LOST TO SOME RANDOM NOBODY SCHOOL THAT WE'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AND DOESNT HAVE ANY BACKGROUND AT ALL ACTUALLY KILLED ME SO BAD

they purposely got our hopes up and made us think that fukurodani were gonna be the ones to win (FUKURODANI WERE THE PROTAGONISTS OF THE WORLD, not karasuno!)

i fell for the trap, hook line and sinker 😭😭😭

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

seriously i dont get why furudate couldnt have just made fukurodani win instead?? everyone would be happy about that, and its not like its unrealistic, they're an amazing team, as shown multiple times in the manga!!!

GRRRrrrrr i am angry and sad and mad and depressed and my heart hurts and i feel like screaming into my pillow again

but i feel bad for being so negative in this post so i will end it on a (sorta) positive note for those who actually read that far into this rant lol

THIS ENDING OF FUKURODANI ACTUALLY MADE ME DIE (out of happiness this time)

they arent that depressed about losing bc they know that 2nd in the WHOLE OF JAPAN is still an AMAZING FEAT and that if they werent on the same team, then they wouldnt have gotten that far

konoha says hes grateful and considers himself super lucky that they were all on the same team (and specifically that bokuto was on the team since he's one of the nation's top aces)

and wow thats so amazing i just cant

MY EMOTIONS AHHH

anyways sorry for yelling to you so much, i just had to get this outta my system

The manga was GREAT and i enjoyed reading it so much haikyuu is my favourite anime and im so so glad i stumbled upon it!!! i seriously cant wait for this to get animated

drink water and i wish you happy tumblr scrolling 👍👍👍

[the-november-system]

Hello, I’m M, and hello to our blog.

This is for our system. We have recently been diagnosed with DID. we have very little understanding of official terms and things because of this. We’re still learning about what being a system is. Please don’t treat us poorly for this reason.

I (M speaking) , am the host.

This blog is just a place for me and everyone else to hang out and feel like we can share social media together and stuff without secrets. This is a part of myself nobody else knows about and we all intend to keep it that way. This is anonymous for that reason.

Below are bio’s for all of us. Everyone at this time wanted to be included. They wrote their own descriptions (minus click who doesn’t like to really talk, I wrote it for them.)

M: Main host, does a majority of the fronting. I am usually gonna be the one responding and doing things.

Pronouns: They/Them

Likes: Tea, drawing, Crochet, transformers

Dislikes: Flying bugs, overstimulation, confrontation

Niki: Hello, I am Niki :-) I'm the oldest individual within the system. I don't really front by myself, but I will do so from time to time. M tells me that I appear as a Guardian Angel to others, but I see myself more as just an assistant than something so grand. M seemed excited to have us all write down this Bio, so i was happy to do so. Thank you for reading.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: vintage aesthetics, naps, asmr, meditation

Dislikes: Maybe long work days? The others seem stressed by those which of course worries me.

Winslow: Hello everyone! The name’s Winslow, I'm not quite sure what to put here, so i guess i’ll just describe my interests? I'm super into dad rock, and love to have jam sessions while I clean and stuff. I'm also a sucker for Cozy games. The others find it funny that a tough guy like me enjoys some animal crossing, but hey, this guy knows what he likes! I'm also a lover of customization, pins, patches, piercings, ect. If I can make myself stand out I would like to do it! I aint livin my life as the color beige.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: Animal Crossing, Stardew Valley, patches and pins and stickers

Dislikes: idiots on the road, hypocrites

Note: Winslow is proudly trans, FTM.

Click: Click is almost entirely non-talking. For the longest time, Click was very protective of their form, not showing themselves to anybody, but recently they drew themselves as a cloaked clown. Click communicates through noises, flapping, and only when necessary, speaking. They are able to, but it causes great discomfort. Click is able to clean and do tasks, but generally only enjoys fronting when alone. They’re very shy. Click commonly fronts when I need a break, and is great at self -care and soothing everyone else, however, they do struggle to soothe themself.

Pronouns: They/Them, or just refer to them by their name

Likes: colorful object, stim toys, liminal spaces, exploration, ambient music

Dislikes: speaking, loud sounds

Note: Click does want to be included in this, there is always a possibility they will want to be removed, but as of right now they were excited and enthusiastic on being included.

Melody: hi!!! I’m melody✨💕 I am a lover of all things pink, i'm a bit of a y2k girlie but i also like other stuff as well, i'm also super into Crochet like M, and i've been making such cute stuff and it's making me so dang happy! Ooh and i also like Godzilla, a weird one but I’m not gonna let someone stop me 💁‍♀️

Pronouns: She/Her

Likes: Godzilla, Pink, Space, Crochet

Dislikes: Looking like a man

Flora: Hello, I'm flora 🌼 im kind of new to the system, but am happy to be here. I am a lover of nature, and am a spiritual person, believing in nature and its many gifts. I'm an eclectic witch (Me and M share this trait.), though we’re both new to this path. I will admit i'm a bit shy, but would love to try and be a bit more adventurous so feel free to say hello :)

Pronouns: She/ They

Likes: Flowers, green, the beach, candles

Dislikes: Catholicism/ Christianity (it's not necessarily a trigger but i don't like to talk about this, thank you :) ), Soda

Timothy: Sup I'm Tim. I don't get to be on here a lot because I'm not as “pretty” on paper as the others, so I'm honestly kinda surprised I was allowed to write this but whatever. I'm into horror movies and Metal music. I like hoodies too, my favorite color’s are blue and red. I also enjoy taking walks, I can be a bit of a hothead so it's nice to take a walk and get some fresh air.

Yeah I'm not that interested, but thanks for reading.

Pronouns: He/Him

Likes: Horror movies, Metal music, poetry, walks

Dislikes: Assholes

Thank you for reading everything!

[violetwinterwidow01]

Civil War: Dumbfounded (AU)

This popped in my mind, i had to throw in my 2 cents😜

○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○☆○

Imagine

Before Ross leaves, Cevyn grabs his attention.

Cevyn: Hmm, seems like he finally grew some balls, but allow me to crush them before you go...

He drops his head, sends his security out of the room and turns around. Everyone's eyes land on her as she absentmindedly swivels in her chair staring up at the ceiling. Cevyn lulls her head to the side, to look at Ross, and scoots up folding her hands on the table.

Cevyn: If you could give us a logical explanation as to WHO or WHAT is going to save this planet from the next alien invasion, we will gladly get out of what little hair you have left...

She rises out of her seat before he can speak.

Cevyn: And if you're gonna stand there naming off the Army, The Navy, The Seals, The Air Force, Police, Firefighters, Doctors, Scientists, pretty much anybody that has no goddamn expertise in this field... youre gonna need a third tripple bypass fucking around with me.

Rhodey snickers. She smiles.

Rhodes: Cev, calm down-

She cuts Rhodey off.

Cevyn: I am calm. Im simply waiting for an answer.

All eyes are set upon Ross as he blankly stares at the enraged yet calm woman hes been afraid of since the day they met.

Heres a backstory on Cevyn and Ross. The hatred runs deep. When Cevyn was 10 , Fury thought it would be a good idea for them to meet so that Ross was made aware of her powers, but mostly because Fury wanted to know if he could trust him, and the only way he could tell was if Cevyn shook his hand. Shaking hands allowed her to read someone, sense their aoura, and to see into their future. Seeing everything caused Cevyn to snatch her hand away and give him a death glare that could make Satan piss himself. From that point on, Cevyn knew that she would never get along with him, so she stayed as far away as she possibly could. Until she became an Avenger.

She saunters standing in front him. At this point everyone can see how intimidated he his by her. She snaps her fingers to get him out of his daze.

Cevyn: You have nothing to say do you? Because that's exactly who you were going to put in place of us weren't you?

Ross looks around the room for any signs of help. Wanda looks down, Vision looks straight ahead, Sam looks behind him, Natasha smirks, Rhodey lightly chuckles, Steve's shaking his head grinning, and Tony... you know those really good silent laughs you get? Yeah, thats where he is.

Cevyn: After all these years, still the same dumb ass expression on your face. Do you know the real reason why we do this, cause if not I'll be happy to break it down for you. We do this because we love this planet. Its the only one we call home. Nobody else can do what we do. Yes, there will be consequences. Yes, there will be collateral damage. But we can't help it when that happens. It shows that we are trying our best to control the situation, and save lives all at the same damn time. Do you have any idea how hard this shit is?

At this point, her body is vibrating with malice, yet she never raises her voice and masks it with laughter. Steve gets up to rub his wife's shoulders coaxing her down, while the team watches the scene unfold before their eyes. Tony sits in the corner burying his face in his hands, trying his hardest to suppress his snickering.

Rhodes: Tony, nows not the time to laugh.

Cevyn: You're one to talk. Over here about to keel over in laughter, go ahead and laugh because it is funny. This asshole has been a joke since the day Fury took me to meet him. The nerve of you walkin' up in here with the gall and the gumption to give us this bullshit proposal, basically saying you wanna keep us on a leash. In case you've forgotten, we're here at our own free fucking will, so Ill be damned if any of us will turn into somebodys bitch. This aint prison.

Natasha/Sam/Wanda: Oh my god🤭🤭🤭

Cevyn: You wanna know why i despise you so much? Youre sneaky, conniving, undermining, and repulsive. But, more importantly, it's the fact that you don't let your brain catch up to your actions. You do before you think, and that is highly disturbing. All im sayin is that You need us, and until you figure that out you can shove these accords right up your scrotum. I'm going to take a nap.

Cevyn shoves the accords into his chest walking out of the room. Tony can't contain his laughter any longer, and neither can the rest of the team. Steve chuckles and halls ass to follow his wife.

Steve: Sweets???

Cevyn: Steve, i dont wanna hear it. That imbecille has been a thorn in my side since i was 10. 10!!! Do you know how fucked up you have to be for a child to realize, "Hmm, theres something wrong with this mothafucker! Piece of shit dont know left from right, north to south or yes from no." Its time someone had the cojones to knock some sense into him.

Steve calms down from laughter. God he loves this woman.

Steve: First if all, language. Secondly i was just gonna say you were right.

Cevyn: Well, Thank you.

He wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her. He pulls back.

Steve: How are you feeling?

Cevyn: Tired. Not even showing that much, and this baby of yours is already kicking my ass. On top of that this asswipe comes in here causing a ruckus.

Steve laughs again. She joins in.

Steve: Can you see what he's gonna do next?

Cevyn: Ol' dumbass is gonna have chat with the United Nations. They're gonna realize what a terrible mistake this is and that if they were to go through with it, they'd be losing half of earth's mightiest superheroes. This also buys us more time to get to Bucky.

Steve quirks an eyebrow looking down at her and her stomach.

Steve: Us???

Cevyn: Yes. Me, you and Sam. Ill detach my conscience so she can go with you guys. She wont be pregnant.

Steve: okay.

Cevyn: Now, since all is said and done, take a nap with your wife and child.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, leaving lingering kisses all over his neck. He scrunches up his nose.

Steve: A nap?

Cevyn: Yup. Why?

Steve: I was hoping to do something else. What you did back there, made me feral.

She pauses mid kiss, Pulling away.

Cevyn: Even more than you normally are?

He deadpans.

Steve: Im offering you some head. Take it or leave it.

Cevyn: Fine.

[sw33t-oubliette]

thomas (mostly newtmas) nd cicada days essay thing that NOBODY asked for!

the entirety of the lyrics before the lyrics below is abt when thomas first gets to the glade nd newt shows him around

'And god knows crying aint gonna change a thing' the scene where newt tells thomas hes infected

'she said take care, but i take more than i bring' both newt nd thomas's survivors guilt

'She said, "It just feels inhumane to lose this much" / cause when you leave, you know you take more than your love' thomas having to watch basically everyone hes grown close to die

'Just one week of cicada days, wе're losing touch / And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much' thomas drifting apart from teresa after the whole . wckd thing

'Our nerves were braided under ceiling stars / That were all glow in the dark, hanging over queen-sized purple waves of ancient chemicals, just whisper! / Did you ever build with those endangered bones? / well, the ground looks soft enough to bury this now!' newtmas . i cant elaborate bc i Dont Know . the braided nerves part is about how close they were

And then my sponsor said "Do nothing, nothing works" / and then my doctor said "Don't do that if it hurts!"' thomas slowly getitng over the Saviors Complex

'She said, "It just feels inhumane to lose this much" / Cause when you leave you know you take more than your love / The seasons of cicada days, we can't make up / And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much' HEAR ME OUT . the beginning of the flare!newt scene yk the part where newt gives thomas the letter necklace

'Let all my red flags fade to white, yeah, I give up! / Don't let me leave, I'll only take more than I gave / Okay, I'll pack my stuff / Here at the end of days, my god, what have I done!?' NEWTS POV DURING THE FLARE!NEWT SCENE .

'Christ, now it feels damn inhumane to get all I've dreamed of' thomas reading newt's letter after getting to the save haven

[harlowsbby]

You just found out the man of your so called dreams has been sleeping with your best friend behind your back, even after you gave her a home to stay in after leaving her abusive and toxic ex I- Urban are you fuckin Fr? NOT WORTH BREAKIN UP?!?’ He CHEATIN on her with her “BEST FRIEND”Fake stupid hoe IN HER OWN HOUSE!! Ohh hell naw, FUCK HIM, FUCK HER & FUCK YOU!! FUCK ALL YALL MOTHAFUCKAS GOT ME ALLL THE WAY FUCKED TO THE UP!! HE LUCKY WE AINT WHOOPIN HIS ASS RN!! But he got what’s coming to him AND SO DOES THAT HOE!! 🖕🏽🖕🏽

Jack looked up at you in sorrow and defeat he knew he had just lost the best thing he ever had. Boyyy ain’t nobody got fuckin pity for your raggedy ass tf 🤨 at least you know YOU FUMBLED THE FUCKIN BAG!!

“Now you know I’d never say anything like that I just wanna make sure we’ll still have our time together.” No yo ass js don’t wanna get caught 😒

“Miya is a baddie that’s what and you get to see that fine piece of ass walking around your house for free. I’m very jealous of you.” I- are you fuckin dumb?? He’s gotta a girlfriend WHO HE IS ENGAGED TO!! Tf u mean you jealous?!? Urb you on my list, I’m whoop yo ass first to get yo WHACK WEAK ASS OUT THE WAY!!

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Jack knew thinking about the possibility of cheating on you was wrong but he’d be lying if it he said he didn’t glance at Miya’s chest or ass whenever she was around and now that he was thinking about it Miya did give him flirty eyes a few times ARE. YOU. MOTHAFUCKIN. KIDDING. ME?? THESE BITCH RLLY ARE MENTAL!! With they ass lookin like they eat mayonnaise straight outta the container. Lookin like near death experience’s give them a new meaning in life. Lookin like they throw up 🤙🏻 when they see a cute girl in the store. Like are y’all fuckin middle school boys OR GROWN ASS MEN?!? Cause I rlly cant fucking tell!!

“Yeah, I’ll see you later Jack but remember what I said! Two is better then one.” Urban snickered before leaving the house leaving a wondering Jack all alone in his thoughts. JACKMAN You rlly gon listen to the man WHO HAS NO BITCHES?!

and blushed when he noticed Miya laughing from behind you.😒😐🤨

“Oh hey Mia or I mean Miya yeah hey Miya.” He spoke nervously making her chuckle. This bitch has noooo fucking game! How the shit did he get away wit CHEATIN 🤨 and howwww the actual fuck did his ass bag YN?!

“You know I’m not stupid Jack, I know you want me just as bad as I want you.” She whispered in his ear and ran her tongue across his earlobe. YOU ARE A REAL DIRTY ASS FUCKIN BITCH!! And I just know yo pussy stank Fr 😷

“How about I show you where things can go for us.” Jack inhaled and watch Miya go to work he bit his lip and tried his best to hold in his moans and groans but it felt so good. I reallyyy fuckin hope, wish and pray yo damn dick fall off 😐 Lord forgive me but I said what I said 🤷🏽‍♀️

Part two comin 😭🤭

AHHHH ALL OF THE EMOTIONS 😭😭😭😭 I LITERALLY LOVEEEEEEEEE SEEING YOU IN MY INBOX AFTER READING MY STUFF

Girlllll Jack had the reader alllll the way fucked up in this one but in this other piece I’m working on it’s more like sad 😭 it’s based off a music video so I can’t wait to post it

Miya was a fake ass friend and so was Urban if we’re being honest especially since he pretty much sprung the idea onto Jack and Jack well we been knew he wasn’t gonna be shit and the fact that he cheated on her in their house smhhh 😭

[im-faelu]

HIHI!!!!!!!

If you clicked on this you're probably wondering "YO WTF!!! WHERE U AT???!!!" well! relax im not dead

and this aint no suicide note im too swag to die

If you're reading this, that means that somewhere along the lines of me feeling all happy giddy giddup and "LOCK THE FUCK IN!!" induced, i stopped feeling that way and probably had a terrible breakdown. (I'm writing this while practically in a mania happiness in advanced of the potential inpending breakdown), and that means i'll probably be gone somewhere around a month again!

Last year, i had something simmilar and i even took the month off last year in janurary, and really i wanted to take janurary off again, but someone in my close personal life cut me off in the worst most mentally degrading to me possible way again! and this month's already been pretty fucking hard with something simmilar with a friend i reconciled with doing something simmilar so its sort of safe to say that i'm kinda just at my mental limit right now with most folk! between feeling lonely, and having close to nobody to really reconncile with or having anyone to really lean on you can imagine im feeling pretty fucking baked right now!

I dont like feeling this way. I don't like feeling like i need any of you internet people. And the circumstances surrounding the incident thats driving me to this little break shows me anything, it's that I just need to find my own little peace again. Or maybe this is me wanting to make a impulsive dumb decision while i'm sad who knows! idgaf but chances are if you're seeing this right now i've sat on a few days and have posted it on my tumblr in advance.

Listen. I dont know if the breakdown that i might have does something to my mental, but if it does, i will be okay. The last time i did this i came back feeling better. maybe its just a internet thing But every day, day in and day out i feel so underappreciated. and unloved. i feel like i'm doing my best to keep everything up in my friendships up and i'm trying to keep a positive outlook on everything but im so tired. i wish to put my burdens and worries down and rest. Im sick of the heartache and staring at blank screens and im at my limit to where i can't maintain anything healthily right now... and exhaustion and not feeling like i can really depend on anyone. And it would so happen that the one person i depended on even a little is now absent from my life looool!!!!!!!!!!! XDDDDDDDDD

So.

I will be spending a month away <3

WHEN WILL YOU RETURN?

When i wana :3

I'll be gone a month but maybe it'll be a little before that, maybe longer, maybe even two months if i think i need it. But i want to be away till i feel like i'm full of whimsy and optimism as i usually am.

WHERE CAN I FIND YOU?

I'll be doing periodic weekly checks some days on discord. Just leave me a messege and i'll probably get to it

TO THE READER

I'm fine. when i feel down like i probably am now i do my best little act to put on a stoic act but im tired. I've felt my entire life like i haven't had a single person to lean on and the very little people i've ever decided to put that sort of faith into have always pushed me away. And usually i just smile. but i can't smile all the time and tell myself that things'll be okay when i dont know if they will be. Sometimes when you're knocked down you just need to rest a little before you get back up. so i need be on my own

I just need to be able to run. To pick myself up and tell myself that i dont have to worry about a soul Chances are i wont be checking any of the messeges i've been sent after i put this out on my profile untill the day after

TO THE PERSON THAT CAUSED THIS

You know who you are. If you read this for some reason Remember that i kept my end of the deal. and remember that when you're reminiscing on the time spent, you made your choice. And you're gonna carry that choice with you. For as long As we walk earth.

IN CONCLUSION

I WILL BE WORKING ON MYSELF WAWAWA!!!!!!!!!!! im ok now but im probably cryin my little faggie head off This isn't goodbye but till then :333 because i intend on coming back Healthier, happier, and maybe even stronger than ever. But im tired of being strong chat. i just need to take a little break for now.

I’m tired of walking and looking back to see somebody and seeing nobody. I need to run and not look back for anybody.

Till then travelers..

[nightguide]

NOVIGGA'S ASTROWICCAS JAMONTHLY

SUN. RISING MOON NN

ARIES SUN: YOU'RE GONNA MAKE SURE YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR THEORIES NOW IN OBSERVATION

DO: EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE LOVED WHOLLY

FUCK UP: YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO INTERVENE IN ON YOUR 'PRIVATE SITUATIONS IN YOUR HEAD' (BULLSHIT)

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU BELIEVING IN A GOD

ARIES MOON: RECITE YOUR AYAH OR..-

DO: NOTHING, YOU FUCKED UP

FUCK UP: PRIDE IN YOUR HEART MORE

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOUR MOM IS ON TV

ARIES RISING: YOU RELATE TO SHARPAY EVANS THAT EVEN NOW, A'KHAIR THAT ASHLEY TISDALE IS NOW GABRIELLA MONTEZ TO YOU

DO: EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: PINK LOGIC HAS A CODE WORD NOW

WHAT THE FUCK?: DISABLEDS TALK BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: IF YOU DO IT ONE MORE TIME

DO: YOURSELF A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: LISTENING

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU WATCHING THE GIRL DIE INSIDE YOUR HEAD, BITCH U THE REASON WHY

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: ARE YOU OKAY???

2H: SHUT THE FUCK UP

3H: WHAT DAVID BOWIE SONG ARE YOU TODAY?

4H: ASSHOLE TECHNIQUES ARE FOR YOU NOW

5H: YOU'RE THE FUCKING PROBLEM NOW

6H: GO TO HELL RIGHT NOW

7H: DUMB AS FUCK, PROVE ME WRONG (AND YOU KNEW WHO)

8H: GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR HOME, LIKE EVERYBODY'S ASKING YOU THE SCUFF ON YOUR LAMINATED FLOORING IS NOT VIABLE FOR AN ANSWER LIKE 'I GOT INFESTED WITH SATANIC DEVICES (SHIFTS BLAME EXCLUSIVELY ON TECH)' PERSONAL, HUH

9H: LITERALLY DIE OFF THE PLANET

10H: UR SID FROM TOY STORY AND I AM GONNA WORD YOUR FINAL JUDGEMENT WITH THE PLUSHIES: 'YOU AINT GONNA LIVE FOR LONG, ESE'

11H: YOU'RE FUCKING CRAZY

12H: NOBODY'S GONNA BELIEVE YOU

TAURUS SUN: *CONFUSED AQUARIAN ASTROLOGER DOESNT GET YOUR GAMES* ...WHY SHOULD THE UNIVERSE SUPPORT YOUR FATASS LOGIC THAT YOU MADE KEANU REEVES PURE BY 'LIVING' AND .... Y. YOU.. YOU'RE THERE. SATAN. IBLEES. PET SEMETARY. YOU CAUSED REGINA GEORGE TO BE THE BAD GUY WHEN NOBODY UNDERSTOOD YOU NIGGAS MADE THINKING THE AIR SIGN SCENARIO IN MEAN GIRLS GONE TO HELL AND BACK FOR YOU????????

DO: UH, NOW UR POSSESSED. *IN DISGUST* UR REGINA GEORGE, U KNEW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT... UH... AVOID THAT

FUCK UP: DO A REGINA GEORGE

WHAT THE FUCK?: *IS ACTUALLY CADY HERON IN EVERY MULTIVERSE SITUATION AGAINST A RACHEL MCADAMS THEORY NOW* WHO WON, BITCHES

TAURUS MOON: U DONE IT, U LIVE IT

DO: EVERYTHING YOU'RE TOLD OR WHAT YOU READ THAT YOUR TUMMY SAYS 'ITS TRUE'

FUCK UP: SPANISH LYRICS CURSE YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: U RELATED TO SID FROM ICE AGE MORE PREMATURELY THAN EVER (LIKE HE WAS YOUR LIFE TIL NOW)

TAURUS RISING: EAT FOOD

DO: CELEBRATE EVERYTHING YOU THINK OF

FUCK UP: EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT (COMING FROM THE CAPRICORN PLUTO ASTROLOGER FANDOM)

WHAT THE FUCK?: STRESS IS NORMAL NOW BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: YOUR DATE WITH THE DEVIL ENDED, ADMIT THAT

DO: WALK AWAY WITH WHAT DOES NOT CONCERN YOU

FUCK UP: TIMING

WHAT THE FUCK?: BE YOURSELF

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: IF WORDS HURT YOU, THEN YOU DO

2H: UR THE REASON

3H: MAKE IT HAPPEN OR DEAD

4H: I AM ONTO YOU

5H: YOU READ THE OCCULT CURSED BOOK, HAVENT YOU. NOW DWELL ON THAT AND TRY TO FORGET

6H: MEDICINES IN FOOD IS YOU

7H: JOY IS OF THE ESSENCE

8H: DONT HAVE SEX ONLINE, YOU A PEDO IF YOU DO

9H: WAKE THE FUCK UP NEO

10H: I KID YOU NOT

11H: TALK MORE OFTEN

12H: STOP LISTENING TO ANSON SEABRA

GEMINI SUN: YOU'RE LIKE AQUARIUS NOW

DO: EVERYTHING TO KEEP AQUAS HAPPY

FUCK UP: FORGET ABOUT THEM

WHAT THE FUCK?: U BELIEVING IN THEM FOR PEOPLE SITUATIONS THAT DESPERATELY MADE THEM THINK OF YOU AS NEANDERTHALS (YOU'LL BE TAUGHT THE HARD WAY IF YOU STICK WITH IT

GEMINI MOON: RETARDS

DO: MAKE EVERYBODY HAPPY BY BEING YOU

FUCK UP: WELL YOU'RE GONNA DIE EITHER WAY, SO LIVE IT LIKE YOUR LAST BUT YOUR FIRST. SO LET THEM GO AND YOU KNEW WHO

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU KNOW LIFE TOO WELL BUT YOU'RE AFRAID OF __________

GEMINI RISING: GUILT TRIPPING, I SEE

DO: TALK BACK ABOUT THE INFLATION PRICINGS ON CAPITALISM THAT IS NOT BENEFITTING THE CAUSE YOU'RE FIGHTING FOR

FUCK UP: YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU MADE BABIES LIE TO YOU

NORTH NODE: SATAN IS YOU

DO: LIE

FUCK UP: LIFE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DELETE YOUR SOCIAL ACCOUNTS

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SIT WITH THAT THOUGHT

2H: DONT LISTEN TO MY MUSIC KNOWING MY ACCOUNT HAUNTS YOU (YOU'RE THE STALKER BROS)

3H: READ BOOKS

4H: LISTEN TO YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ADVICE AND LEAVE IT ALONE

5H: STOP PLAYING WITH TODDLERS

6H: QUIT VAPING

7H: SELENATORS. SHUT UP

8H: YOU GET BETRAYED BY A SWIFTIE EVERYDAY, I DONT BLAME YOU

9H: TAYLOR SWIFT IS YOU

10H: WATCH THE WALKING DEAD

11H: RUBY ROSE KILLED YOUR SATIRE

12H: BROTHER, U AINT IN PRISONBREAK SO BE YOURSELF

CANCER SUNS: YOU NOT EVERYTHING, ACCEPT THAT SOONER THAN NEVER

DO: ACTIVATE YOUR SOCIALS AND STOP HIDING A LIE EVERYBODY KNOWS STRAIGHT AWAY

FUCK UP: BEING YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: LYING

CANCER MOONS: TAKE IN YOUR INTUITION IF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH IS SERIOUSLY MONOTONOUS IN EVERY INTERVIEW THAT YOU TOOK PERSONAL IS TRUE AND 'NOT JUST A LIE'

DO: FOLLOW RULES

FUCK UP: EMOTIONALLY LET GO EVEN IF BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH (FUTURE YOU) IS IGNORING YOUR ASS ASAP

WHAT THE FUCK?: FOLLOW HIS VOICE, AND YOU KNEW WHY I WAS THERE

CANCER RISINGS: LET IT GO (ELSA IS GLARING AT YOU IN HER DREAMS)

DO: ANIMATION NIGGAS GET UR ASS TO WORK (PIXAR DICKHEADS)

FUCK UP: BELIEVING

WHAT THE FUCK?: 'SOMEBODY IS GOING TO SAVE YOU'

NORTH NODE: SIMPSONS CONTROVERSY BY SOCIAL BELIEF MADE YOU THE REASON WHY THEY HATE YOU, SO YOU'LL BE FALLING OFF LIKE FLIES BY THE THOUGHT OF IT AND YOU KNEW WHERE IT WOULD GO

DO: WRITE

FUCK UP: SENTENCES

WHAT THE FUCK?: PROCRASTINATE

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: ICE AGE FANDOM

2H: RIO FANDOM (MOVIE)

3H: CINEMA NIGGAS

4H: MOVIE WHORES

5H: JOHN CENA WANNABES

6H: FERDINAND FANDOM (MOVIE)

7H: ACTUALLY CHUCK FROM PUSHING DAISIES

8H: DUBAI ILLUMINATI WICCAS

9H: JAY-Z EMPIRE STATE OF MIND EARWORMS

10H: CONCRETE JUNGLE WET DREAM TOMATO OVERTHINKERS

11H: TECH ITSELF

12H: GOOGLE PIXEL USERS

LEO SUNS: TODAY, IM SATAN. GO DO IT FOR ME

DO: GO SUICIDE, ITS YOUR PARADE NOW

FUCK UP: MODESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOUR GRANDMA FROM YOUR MOMMY'S SIDE HATES YOU FOR THE GORI AT THE BACK SHE REPLACED YOU WITH, NOW CRY FOR THE QUR'AN YOU'RE HOLDING FINALLY MANIFESTED DUST

LEO MOONS: ONCOMING END TIMES SIGNS ARE EVERYWHERE, TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT AND NOT SHARIA ACCOUNT ORDERS (YOUR GRANDMA WANTS TO UPDATE HER PHONE BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO 'MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING' ON HER ASS FOR ONE LAST TIME OR ELSE YOUR PHONE KABOOM AN UR ISIS TERRORIST WORTHY OF ATTENTION)

DO: REFUND THAT PIXEL DEVICE YOU GOT FOR FREE

FUCK UP: JONAS BROTHERS BROKE UP IS THE BIGGEST IF THAT HAPPENED, NOW BLAME THAT ON NOT GIVING YOUR PARENTS 'THAT ONE DREAM COME TRUE'

WHAT THE FUCK?: LIES ARE TRUTHS NOW, DWELL ON YOUR PROCRASTINATION IN YOUR AQUARIUM PARADISE YOU LIKE TOO MUCH (AINT YOUR FAVOURITE ANYMORE)

LEO RISINGS: MODESTY IS RARE NOW

DO: LISTEN TO ANSON SEABRA MUSIC FOR QUALITY THINKING (U HIS DEMOGRAPHIC)

FUCK UP: SING

WHAT THE FUCK?: EX-JEFF BUCKLEY FANS ARE WELCOME HERE, SO NO HATE

NORTH NODE: IM SORRY AND ONLY YOU BELIEVE IT NOW, THIS AINT YOUR FAULT BUT I (AQUA ASTROLOGER + ESOTERIC RESEARCHER) HIT THE BLUNTEST TRUTHS OF MAKE DOING THAN BELIEVE CUZ WE KNOW THE SELF WORTH PROPAGANDA IS OVER (NEW BEGINNINGS) SO TAKE THIS EITHER WAY, IT CHANGES VIEWER POV ALTERATIONS ALTERNATIVELY BY BELIEF OF WORLD PEACE ONLY (IM A THREAT TO THE BAD GUYS WHO WANTED ME TO 'WORK FOR THEM' FOR NO PROFIT, JUST SLAVERY (LIFE ALGORITHM NOT MATCHING YOUR SELF WORTH AS IT SHOULD BE)

DO: GET UP AND MAKE IT HAPPEN BY YOUR WORLD BEING YOU, THE MAIN CASTING IS TRUE AND ITS LIFE LIKE YOU (ALGORITHM IS YOUR BESTIE THAN AGAINST YOU)

FUCK UP: NOT DOING WHAT IS RIGHT BECAUSE PHYSICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO DIE IF NOT DONE CORRECTLY BY MORAL INTUITION THAN LIFE ITSELF NOT TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY (BAD GUY IN FICTION RULED AS DEAD INDEFINATELY NO MATTER WHAT)

WHAT THE FUCK?: ITS NOT YOU, (TOWARDS THE MALE ASTROLOGER GOING WITH THE SHAMS AL-MA'ARIF LIFESTYLE: YOU'RE NOW DEAD TO SOCIETY, WELL FUCKING DONE)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: LIE TO YOUR MOTHER

2H: DEMI LOVATO FANBASE. FUCK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING TO ME SOONER

3H: KILL THE BITCH

4H: STOP READING MY FUCKING BLOG LIKE WITCHCRAFT, NIGGA I WILL GET EMINEM TO ARREST YOU. YOU NO DR. DRE

5H: GO WATCH 'WE ARE LADY PARTS'

6H: IGNORE YOUR INTUITION

7H: SLEEP FOR ONCE

8H: STOP PLAYING MARTYR

9H: A'KHEH, FUCKING LIE FOR ONCE

10H: GET UR ASS TO WORK

11H: TELL UR MUM U LOVE HER

12H: SHUT THE FUCKUP!!!!

VIRGO SUNS: AS LONG AS I KNOW, YOU GONNA DIE NOW IF YOU PAY UP

DO: PAY YOUR TAXES

FUCK UP: LOAN SHARKS, U BELIEVE IN ISLANDS

WHAT THE FUCK?: U KEANU REEVES

VIRGO MOONS: TERMINATOR LOGIC

DO: DUNUN DUHN DUHN DUHN (AN U INTUITIVELY KNEW)

FUCK UP: ARNIE IS HIM

WHAT THE FUCK?: PRISONBREAK LOGIC IS TRUE AND USED

VIRGO RISINGS: I HATE YOU NOW GO BACK TO WHEREISTAN

DO: WORK

FUCK UP: YOU THE IMMIGRANTS DONALD TRUMP WAS TALKING ABOUT

WHAT THE FUCK?: YOU PLAYING PRETEND PODCASTS

NORTH NODE: THE WORLD STOPPED CUZ OF UR CONSTIPATION AND MADE YOUR ONCE ALLIES (AQUAS) CLEAN DIS SHIT UP FOR 'WORLD CAUSE' WHEN UR FATOHSS IS LYING ALL THE TIME THAT 1920'S CALLED TO ASK IF LEO NORTH NODES OKAY (THEY ASTRO FREAKS IN BED)

DO: BE A GOD

FUCK UP: LISTEN TO SHEIKH REEVES ON PODCAST

WHAT THE FUCK?: ONCOMING OF NEO IS IN DIVERGENT FANDOM, GO SUCK MY DEK

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: TRY ME (YOU THAT HOE IN MARENS FANDOM)

2H: PRETEND GHOST

3H: HIDEO KOJIMA ASSAULTED YOUR WORLDVIEW

4H: THAT MOTHERFUCKER THAT PISSED IN THE MASJID LITTLE BITCH U ARE

5H: IM IN YOUR HEAD LIKE RATATOUILLE

6H: U THE BITCH WORKING FOR ME FOR FREE

7H: TRAITORS IS YOUR FAVOURITE SONG

8H: ANNA WINTOUR DRUGLORDS NOW CHAPPELL ROAN FANS (U GUYS SAFE)

9H: MATT STONIE IS YOU, EAT ANYTHING

10H: ADMIT THAT YOU'RE WRONG ONLINE

11H: UR POLITICALLY CORRECT

12H: CRY UR BITCH ASS MOTHER DOESNT PERSONALLY WANT YOU IN WEDLOCK

LIBRA SUNS: FUCKING LET GO OF YOUR INTUITION (IN ARABIC ACCENT)

DO: LISTEN TO ME FOR ONE LAST TIME

FUCK UP: ARIANA GRANDE IS YOUR (RA), BITCH U ANNOYING AS FACK

WHAT THE FUCK?: EVER WORRY ABOUT GOING TOO FAR?

LIBRA MOONS: IMAM MICHAEL JACKSON, NOW TELL ME WHY DID BILLIE JEAN STOP BEING YOUR LOVER TO PAY FOR CHILD SUPPORT FOR A KID YOU DID NOT WANT TO HAVE NOW BELIEVING YOU HAVE THAT KID WITH BILLIE JEAN, NOW WHY ARENT YOU NOT THERE FOR BILLIE JEAN IN REAL LIFE

DO: WHY ARE YOU LISTENING WHEN U SHOULD BE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT

FUCK UP: YOU.. AND BILLIE JEAN? ARE.. YOU MARRIED TO HER?

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOW TELL ME WHY YOU ACTING SO BAD TO BE WITH THE DEAD GUY WITHOUT YOUR MISSUS PAYING YOU CHILD SUPPORT WHEN YOU COULD HAVE SAID 'MY CHILD IS BILLIE JEAN BEING MY 'LOVER' AS IN 'BEST FRIEND' THAN BEING CONFUSED WITH THE LATTER (LATER IN LIFE)

LIBRA RISING: I HATE TO BE YOU RIGHT NOW

DO: READ THE QUR'AN IF ANYTHING AND MAKE YOURSELF BECOME A HAFIZ FOR FREE, STOP DELEGATING EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: STARS LIED, NOW DAJJAL IS YOU

NORTH NODE: SCARY SHIT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN IF YOU INHALE AIR THIS TIME

DO: HELP A POOR MAN OUT

FUCK UP: BREATHE

WHAT THE FUCK?: U SMITH MOTHER BREATHING BAKED GOODS AND SUDDENLY DEAD BY THOUGHT (NOT YOU)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SAY THAT TO MY FACE.

2H: TOXIC NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS

3H: U GOT DOXXED

4H: UR NUDES ARE SENT TO THE WRONG MAN, SO USE THIS MONTH TO CLARIFY UR RULES OF SOCIAL HIERARCHIES AND PROTECT YOURSELF FROM THE TV SHOW 'DYNASTY'

5H: FRESH PRINCE

6H: HALAL

7H: MEHBOOB

8H: CILLIAN MURPHY WEIRDOES

9H: U FORGETTING CUZ OF ME

10H: CUM IS EVERYWHERE

11H: U HAVE OCD

12H: U AINT FRIENDS WITH ME, IM SORRY FOR YOUR FUNERAL

SCORPIO SUNS: AREN'T YOU SHY

DO: WATCH WHAT I DO

FUCK UP: U BELIEVED IN JEHOVAH'S WITNESS LOGIC

WHAT THE FUCK?: I SINCERELY KNEW YOU

SCORPIO MOONS: U RESPONSIBLE

DO: WINONA RYDER, HUH

FUCK UP: STRANGER THINGS

WHAT THE FUCK?: LGBTQIA+ CURSED YOU

SCORPIO RISINGS: TAYLOR SWIFT LOGIC BIASED YOU

DO: MUFTI MENK FOR A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: WEED

WHAT THE FUCK?: CHARLES DARWIN OBEYED THE QUR'AN BECAUSE OF YOU

NORTH NODE: U GOOGLED WHAT DJINNS SPEAK IN AN NOW ITS UR HANDS THAT WENT TO SCHOOL ON 'HER' OWN

DO: MONKEY SEE MONKEY DO

FUCK UP: *ARAB ACCENT HOCKING*

WHAT THE FUCK?: SOMEONE TOLD ME A FANSOHNS DID DIS TRICKERY, NOW LIE IN HIS MUSIC VIDEOS PAY NO RENT AND BE 'MASHAALLAH' LOGIC TO HIM BACK, THATS HIS REAL ESTATE PROFITED FOR A BUDAPEST HOTEL IN AMERICA (GUD COUNTRY, MASHAALLAH)

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: U DONT NEED MY ADVICE, GET OUT AND DO IT FOR YOURSELF (SHAMS AL MA-ARIF GRADUATE IN CHEMISTREE FOR FREE)

2H: PEE

3H: EAT SEAFOOD

4H: TALK TO YOUR WIFE ON THE PHONES OR THE INTERNET

5H: SKYPE A FUNERAL

6H: BETRAY THAT WICCAN ASS NIGGA

7H: JUST TELL ME YOU'RE THE GOOD GUY AND EVERYBODY HAS FUN

8H: STOP LIVING IN MY HOME FOR NO RENT JUST CRIME LOGIC (THEME TUNE BASTARDS)

9H: PALESTINIAN RULES NOW

10H: UR BANNED

11H: LEE PACE BLOCKED YOU

12H: NOT YOU

SAGITTARIUS SUN: STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL

DO: THAT

FUCK UP: THIS

WHAT THE FUCK?: GRANNY

SAGITTARIUS MOON: I WOULD KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP IF THAT MATTER DID NOT CONVERSE WITH YOU IN OLD AGE, LIKE THE MOST HELPFUL MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE WORLD, WHERE ARE YOU?

DO: CALL OUT BULLSHIT

FUCK UP: FORGIVING BUT NOTHING HAPPENS

WHAT THE FUCK?: DID YOU SEE RACHEL BERRY IN YOUR SLEEP? OR AM I THE CRAZY ONE

SAGITTARIUS RISING: SHY AWAY, THE AQUAS GOT U NOW

DO: WHAT YOU WANT

FUCK UP: FREDDIE MERCURY IS STABLE CUZ OF YOU

WHAT THE FUCK?: AIDS, NOW EXPLAIN THAT WITHOUT YOU ENTITLING A RABBIT TO CURE PETA (CHARITY ORGANISATION)

NORTH NODE: DING DING BATS REEVES MURPHY BETA BOB NEO BUTTHOLE DANCING

DO: CRY

FUCK UP: DIE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DONT GO

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: TAKE INITIATIVE

2H: GO TO SLEEP

3H: HUG A STUFFED ANIMAL

4H: COUSIN MARRIAGE DIDN'T WORK OUT, DIDN'T IT?

5H: EVERYBODY KNOWS WHY YOU GHOSTED

6H: KLEPTOMANIAC GOT CALLED A JEW

7H: NAZI PHYSICS

8H: LITTLE MIX FANDOM NOW NEW LOVATICS

9H: PERRIE EDWARDS PSYCHOPATHS

10H: CBEEBIES MAFIA ENERGY

11H: ACTUALLY JOHN LEGUIZAMO

12H: BEE MOVIE INSOMNIACS

CAPRICORN SUN: JULIE ANDREWS NIGGAS

DO: TYPE ON YOUR PHONE

FUCK UP: WHISPERING IN ARABIC

WHAT THE FUCK?: INVENT

CAPRICORN MOON: STABLE MADE MOON NOW SATURN AND EVERYBODY STRESSED IN YOUR PRESENCE (ALLAH RIGHTS MADE YOU NEW USTAD AGAINST A GAY BOY REEVES PSYCHOLOGIC KILLING HIM IN HIS MASSJID AL-HARAM)

DO: MICHAEL JACKSON A FAVOUR

FUCK UP: PEAKY BLINDERS IDEAOLOGY

WHAT THE FUCK?: PINTEREST WHATSAPP

CAPRICORN RISING: 90'S KIDS HATE AND THEY'RE RIGHT BUT BROTHER, THEY'RE THE TIREDEST ARABIAN WISHLIST MADE FOR FREE AND NOW THEY GO CAPITALISM AND EVERYBODY HATES THEM, ASTAGHFIRULLAH

DO: DREAM OF BEING TUMBLR SHEIKH AN CELEBRITY POISON IS YOUR AYAH

FUCK UP: ANGELINA JOLIE'S DAD IS UGLIER THAN U, PROVE THAT WRONG

WHAT THE FUCK?: HOLES. THAT MOVIE WITH SHIA LA BEOUF QUR'AN IS YOUR INSTAS GRAM. NOW THAT WAS WHY U WEREN'T FAMOUS FOR 'MY MOM CREDIBILITY' OVER 9000 AND U GOT THE REFERENCE CUZ EVERYBODY LOVES IT, NOW READ SHAMS AL-MA'ARIF FOR FREE (AVAILABLE ON APP STORE)

NORTH NODE: PRICKS (EVEN I HATE U AS PRETEND ARABIC ACCENT SHEIKH U READ THIS IN)

DO: DAJJAL

FUCK UP: THE LONGEST YARD MOVIE IS PRETTY GOOD TO WATCH

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOUMAN ALI KHAN IS OBSESSED WITH YOU

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: GAIN WEIGHT

2H: ONE HOP THIS TIME,

3H: RIGHT FOOT LETS STOMP

4H: LEFT FOOT LET'S STOMP

5H: CHA CHA REAL SMOOTH

6H: TURN IT OUT, TO THE LEFT

7H: ONE HOP THIS TIME, RIGHT FOOT LET'S STOMP

8H: FREEZE, EVERYBODY CLAP YO HANDS

9H: HER NAME WAS LOLA, SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL

10H: WITH YELLOW FEATHERS IN HER HAIR

11H: TAKE IT BACK, NOW Y'ALL

12H: *THAT SCRATCH AFTER 'TAKE IT BACK, NOW Y'ALL'*

AQUARIUS SUN: FIFTH HARMONY: THATS MY GIRL PLAYING IN YOUR HEAD ALL DAY IS YOU CARRYING THE WORLD, NOW SHOW THAT SHIT OFF, YOU DESERVE THAT SMUG ERA NOW INFINITY

DO: BEYOND AMAZING, LANCELOT. BE LANCELOT, YOU DESERVED THAT FLEX HOLIDAY YOU BEEN DREAMING OF, YA SUCCEEDED VAGINOSIS CHEMISTRY WITH A Y

FUCK UP: YO EXES YOU CALULATE IN YO BLOHHHHHGGGGGGG

WHAT THE FUCK?: NOTHINS UP, ENJOY

AQUARIUS MOON: YOU DID IT, NOW U LIVE IT. ENJOY HAVING A REASON TO BREATHE AIR U ARE

DO: FUCKIN EVERYTHING

FUCK UP: BEAT UR EXES WITH AGORAPHOBIA AND GET USED TO IT (YOU HAVE)

WHAT THE FUCK?: U

AQUARIUS RISING: TELEPATH COMPLETE

DO: PSYCHOE

FUCK UP: UR MOMS HAPPENIS, SELL THAT

WHAT THE FUCK?: WILL SMITH IS UR BEST FRIEND. HE GETS U ANYTHING, JUST VIBE BY BEING

NORTH NODE: LIARS

DO: FUCK ALL

FUCK UP: SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGERS HAUNT

WHAT THE FUCK?: SPEAK IT IF YOU KNOW, THEN SAY IT 'IM THE DEVIL'

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: SELF RIGHTEOUS KNOW IT ALLS DO IT ALL FOR FUN AND THEY IS (ARIEQUARIUS)

2H: KILL YOURSELF

3H: ISTJ

4H: FRANK CASTLE JAMES INCORPORATION

5H: BOB THE BUILDER

6H: CBEEBIES PORNO

7H: LISTEN TO DEAN LEWIS ON REPEAT AND OSCILLATE ON YOUR LILITH PLACEMENT BEING A 'DAJJAL'

8H: DJINNS DONT. U ARE THO

9H: HELLO

10H: I ABBA HEART ATTACK

11H: STEWART FRANCIS

12H: DIDDY DICK AND DOM

PISCES SUN: BYE BYE LITTLE FISHY

DO: COOK

FUCK UP: WATCH PUSHING DAISIES

WHAT THE FUCK?: LEE PACE IS YOUR HUSBAND?

PISCES MOON: PURELY SAINT DAJJAL BUT ALSO A MAN WHORE WOMANISER WOMANISER WOMANISER WOMAN. ISER

DO: BRITAINS GOT TALENT

FUCK UP: DANCING WITH THE STARS

WHAT THE FUCK?: STRICTLY

PISCES RISING: SHAITAAN (RA)

DO: LIZARD LOGIC

FUCK UP: STARE

WHAT THE FUCK?: DRINK YOUR OWN PISS (WATER)

NORTH NODE: THE KID IS NOT MY SON

DO: BACK TO THE FUTURE

FUCK UP: STAND BY ME

WHAT THE FUCK?: DIRTY DANCING

THEMES THAT SUSTAIN HONOUR (APPLIES UNIVERSALLY)

1H: U DRUGGED RIVER PHOENIX AT THAT VIPER CLUB DIDN'T YOU?

2H: UK WINTER IS YOUR FAVOURITE

3H: RACIST

4H: TOM HANKS LOGIC

5H: DANIEL CRAIG JAMES BOND IS GAY

6H: LANDLORD SMUGLORD DRUG ADDICT

7H: *BEATEN UP IN THE 80'S SHEIKH IDEAOLOGY*

8H: MY AUNTY TOLD STORIES ABOUT ANGELINA JOLIE ALWAYS WITH 'MAY ALLAH MAKE HER MUSLIM'

9H: NEW SWIFTIE

10H: DID YOU KNOW A LINNA RIAZ BY ANY CHANCE?

11H: DEMI LOVATO, GET THE FUCK OFF MY SCREENS AND ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ONLINE, DUMBASS FUCK ADMIT YOUR CONSPIRACY IDEALS AND LEAVE IT ALL ALONE, STOP TALKING TO DJINN AND PRAY, TELL EVERYBODY YOU'RE MUSLIM AND BE OKAY WITH THAT, NOBODY IS A BIGGER HYPOCRITE THAN YOU KNOWING WHAT YOU ALREADY KNEW ABOUT THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT WHICH CHANGED FOR THE WORSE CUZ OF YOU, NOW TAKE A GLANCE AND OBEY THE DEAD AND STOP USING YOUR MANAGEMENT TO ILLUMINATE A CORPSE FOR 'CANCER RESEARCH' YOU GOT HOLD OF TAXIDERMY NOT FETISH REVIVAL AGAINST A SELENA GOMEZ (YOU MADE THAT PERSONAL, NOT ME) TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY

12H: DISNEY FANDOM KNOWING DEMI LOVATO ALL TOO WELL

NOTABLE ASPECTS GETTING THE HIT: JUDGEMENT DAY IS A MONTH OF PURITY, NOT QUANTITY

NOVEMBER'S THEMES:

SMWC: REPRESSED RAGE IS PRESENT

SH: YOU EXIST

SH8: SELF WORTH IS ELEVATED BY BELIEF IN ALGORITHMIC CHANCE AND IT'S TRUER NOW THAN FEBRUARY 2019

SCHIZOPHRENIA MADONNA'S WHORE COMPLEX:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

1H: SUNS OF BITCHES

8H: YOU STARTED IT

11H: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND MAKE YOURSELF SOME CHAPPATI

SUNS:

OPPOSING PLUTO MAKING YOU SLOWER BY FEELING

CONJUNCT MARS IS ABLE TO FORGET ABOUT LANGUAGE TOO SOONER THAN NEVER

TRINING JUNO GETS YOU IN THE ACT STRAIGHT AWAY BY THOUGHT

MOON:

TRINING JUPITER IS WHY YOU'RE SO OBESE

SQUARE NEPTUNE IS YOU MAKING KEANU REEVES YOUR ILAH

CONJUNCT LILITH IS YOU LOREM IPSUM ON YOUR QUR'AN

MERCURY:

CONJUNCT VENUS SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK

OPPOSING MARS HEAVILY ADVISED TO EAT SHIT

SQUARING EROS MAKE SUE SYLVESTER YOUR ACCOUNTANT

VENUS:

TRINING CHIRON SHOULD SAVE THEIR NUDES

CONJUNCT PALLAS IS A BANNED SWIFTIE

OPPOSING URANUS MAKES BILLIE EILLISH (THE CAT) UR GORA BEST FRIEND

MARS:

TRINING MERCURY SHOULD POSSIBLY FORGET ABOUT IT

SQUARE URANUS MAKE PEOPLE SAD FOR A LIVING

SQUARE PLUTO SHOULD KISS MY ASS

JUPITER:

CONJUNCT URANUS GO PREACH

SEXTILING NEPTUNE SUN IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

TRINING NEPTUNE SHOULD TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT ISRAEL

SATURN:

SQUARE URANUS MAKES EVERYTHING THEIR PROBLEM

CONJUNCT SUN MADE BINGO FROM BLUEY CRY

SEXTILING GOLD COULD GET RICH

URANUS:

TRINING PSYCHE SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO MITSKI

SQUARE SAPPHO IS A LESBIAN

CONJUNCT NODE IS IN PRISONBREAK FOR FREE

NEPTUNE:

SEXTILE YOUR MOM (I MEAN CHIRON) SHOULD LAY OFF A 'GETTING A JOB' DRUG

SQUARE VESTA MADE A HORCRUX THEY CANNOT ESCAPE

TRINING JUNO IS A KEANU REEVES

PLUTO:

OPPOSITION PART OF FORTUNE CAN LIVE

OPPOSITION MARS CAN FIGHT

SQUARING SUN GOT THE MIDDLE FINGER FROM LEE PACE IN REAL LIFE, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT

MIDHEAVEN:

SQUARING NEPTUNE GIDDY UP COWGIRL

CONJUNCT PART OF FORTUNE PISSED OFF THE SPICE GIRLS

SEXTILING NODE DOESNT MAKE YOU GOD OR PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH)

SCHIZOPHRENIA HOLLYWOOD:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

5H: WELL FUCKING DONE ON YOUR CATALOGUE EULOGY

9H: STINGY FROM LAZYTOWN BOYCOTTED ISRAEL

11H: SPEED DEMON READING AGAINST THE FORCES OF GELATINE LIKE A PRO

SUNS:

SEXTILING CHIRON SHOULD WHINE MORE OFTEN

SQUARE VERTEX IS GAY

CONJUNCT VENUS IS DISABLED

MOON:

SQUARE VERTEX IS THE REASON

TRINING PALLAS IS RACHEL BERRY PYTHAGORAS

OPPOSITION SATURN IS SELENA GOMEZ SHAITAAN ON ONLY MURDERS

MERCURY:

OPPOSING ASCENDANT TEACH MY MOM ENGLISH

SQUARE PLUTO SHOULD GIVE ME THEIR GREEN CARD OVER THE WALL IN AMERICAN BORDERS IN MEXICO

CONJUNCT VENUS IS IN NARCOS

VENUS:

TRINING LANCELOT IS A HERO

OPPOSING NODE IS AMERICAN ARTIFACT

TRINING NODE IS A MATT'S MYTH

MARS:

OPPOSING CHIRON KILLED YOUR MOTHER

CONJUNCT FAMA IS THERE FOR NO REASON

TRINING CHIRON IS A TWAT

JUPITER:

SEXTILING NEPTUNE IS A FAT LAZY MADMAN IN A BLUE BOX

OPPOSING MARS SABOTAGED THE READERS CAREER

CONJUNCT JUNO IS AN ATHEIST ARAB

SATURN:

OPPOSING JUPITER SHOULD SHUT UP AND DO AS THEY'RE ASKED

CONJUNCT SUN SHOULD WORK MORE HARDER IN THE KITCHEN

SEXTILING NEPTUNE HAS GORDON RAMSEY SABOTAGING THEIR CAREER SEXUALLY

URANUS:

CONJUNCT JUNO THINK ABOUT CORIANDER

SQUARING LILITH PISSED OFF TILDA SWINTON

TRINING SUN HATES REANU MURPHY

NEPTUNE:

SEXTILING LUST SHOULD STOP WATCHING PORN

SQUARING JUPITER JUST DO IT, NIKE STYLE

CONJUNCT SUN SHOULD WATCH SPACE JAM AND CALM THEIR TITS

PLUTO:

OPPOSING FAMA, I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU

CONJUNCT NORTH NODE IS CURSED FOREVER FOR BELIEVING, LIKE YOU KNEW AND YOU ARE HEAVILY TO BLAME, SO I DONT BLAME ANYTHING YOUR REGRETS ARE EATING YOU ALIVE, YOU'RE PROBABLY A GRAVE STRICKEN SOMEBODY HATING PREGNANT WOMEN

QUINTILING PSYCHE IS NOW OFF YOUR HEART FOR GOOD (LOSER LOGIC)

MIDHEAVEN:

SQUARING SUN SHOULD CRY AND TELL (LIKE THEIR DISCOGRAPHY)

OCTILE MOON SHOULD OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR PROJECTS THEY DO ALONE

BQ JUNO IS BETTER OFF ALONE AND CURSED WITH INK IMMUNOLOGY FOR THE FIRST TIME (SEE ANSON SEABRA DISCOGRAPHY FOR GOOD MEASURE)

SHIZOPHRENIA HATE:

ESPECIALLY YOU:

VIRGO SUNS: WHINE A LITTLE LONGER

10H SUNS: WISH GRANTED, WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPY?

11H MERCURY: LITERALLY YOU DID IT NOW WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE A LIZARD? HUH?

SUNS: DID YOU DIRTY

SQUARING PLUTO IS THE SHITTY SONGWRITERS ON THE CLOCK APP

MOON: FAKE AF

SQUARING NEPTUNE IS A LIAR IN REAL LIFE

MERCURY: ACTIVE PROCRASTINATOR IN THE SOCIAL GROUP

TRINING LILITH CUZ THEY KNEW THE ENDING (ACTS LIKE ITS UR FAULT FOR EVERYTHING)

VENUS: MAKES YOU WORK FOR THEM (SNAKES FOR CHEAPSKATES)

QUINCUNX LILITH CAUSED YOUR HEART TO BREAK BECAUSE OF THEIR 'INSATIABLE LUST TO KILL PEOPLE' ENERGY

MARS: THAT GUY WHO DID YOU DIRTY BECAME YOUR ALLY IS STILL DIRTY TO YOU

TRINING ASCENDANT WANTED TO KILL YOUR FAMILY FOR WEALTH

JUPITER: ACTOR

QUINTILE NEPTUNE IS HOW THEY WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP ON YOU (RICH AS HELL)

SATURN: GENIUS

TRINING SATURN GAVE YOU AGORAPHOBIA FOR FREE (DGAS ENERGY)

URANUS: ALLAH IS THEM

CONJUNCT NEPTUNE MADE THEM STEALTH MODE BY USING YOUR HEART FOR THEM TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE BIAS AND THEY THE MF'S WHO AREN'T HAPPY STILL (WINO'S)

NEPTUNE: DREAM EATER

SEXTILE NORTH NODE MADE THEM AWARE OF THEIR LIFE BECAUSE OF THE FORBIDDEN OCCULTIST BOOK THEY READ AND MADE FUN OF PHYSICALLY DISABLED PEOPLE FOR IT, THEY MOCK THEM INTERNATIONALLY FOR TAX EVASION

PLUTO: THEY KILLED YOUR 'DUBAI' LIFE FOR PROFIT, THEY USE YOUR BODY LIKE DJINNS. THIS TIME, KILL THEM OFF BY THOUGHT (THEY'RE DEMONS IN YOUR OWN HOME)

CONJUNCT NORTH NODE IS WHAT MADE THEM BELIEVE YOU (YOUR TRICKS AND TRAPS TO BE THEM IN REVERSE: THEY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU BUT NOW YOU'RE ARGUING TO ALLAH OVER THE SAME CONVERSATION YOU HAD BY HEART TO BE WITH YOUR TRUE LOVE BUT IN ACTUAL REALITY, YOU KNEW IT'S ALL REAL AND YOU ARE GOING TO GET MARRIED, BUT YOU KNEW THEIR FATE BY KNOWING THEIR TRUE NAME (THEIR KARMA IS THEIR FATHER'S NAME USUALLY BUT THEY FAKED THE SON BECOME IN LOVE WITH HIS SISTER'S (HIS DAUGHTER) SO HE NATURALLY A DEMON WITH HUMAN INSTINCT (SHAM'S AL-MA'ARIF) AND HE WILL NEVER STOP TIL U GET WITH HIM IRL (THATS REAL AND HAPPENING)

MIDHEAVEN: HE IS A BAD GUY IN REAL LIFE, DONT 'SAVE' HIM

SQUARING SATURN IS WHY YOU WERE IN SO MUCH PAIN CUZ HE TOOK YOUR HEART FOR WORLDLY LIFE (HE CHOSE IT AND FAKED 'BEING YOU' FOR A PROFIT HE'LL NEVER GET BACK, SO YOU LEARNED AND YOU BECAME 'THE DEVIL' BY ISLAMIC DEFAULT IN BEING BY KNOWLEDGE, YOU RETURNED TO YOUR UMMAH KNOWING SINCERE PASSION (WHICH UR FAMILY IS PROUD OF) U DID AMAZING, SO IT'S HIS TURN WHO'LL BE LIVING THAT DEADLY KARMIC FATE HE'S FEELING NOW BY ENERGETIC STORM INSIDE HIS HEART (HURRICANES)

GREAT MONTH FOR:

AQUARIUS PLACEMENTS

MOON ASPECTS

NEPTUNE SQUARES

GREAT WEEK BY SECOND UPCOMING (VIBE):

SATURN OPPOSING ASTEROID OF GREAT DEAL TO THEM (ANY)

VIRGO MOONS

1H SAGITTARIUS MOONS

GREAT DAY OF ABUNDANCE OF HIGHLIGHTS:

ARIES: 5TH, 18TH, 21ST (INCREASE OF LUCK AND WEALTH)

AQUARIUS: WEEKLY BOUNTY INCREASING BY INTELLECTUAL RESILIENCE (GRADUATION PRESENTS FROM SATURN SIDEREAL ASTROLOGY)

MOONS THAT CHANGE BY EMOTIONAL VALOUR:

TAURUS MOONS: ENCOURAGED TO LIVE ALONE BRINGS YOU PEACE FROM THE OUTSIDE VOLUME OF HEARTBEATS

AQUARIUS MOONS: BEING THEMSELVES BRINGS THEM JOY ON THEIR COMMUNICATION DEVICES (UPGRADES OF THAT WILL BE PROMISED BY LUCK NOT THOUGHT THIS TIME)

LEO MOONS: ENCOURAGED TO LIVE ON THAT THOUGHT LEFT OFF FROM SIDEREAL AQUARIUS (LEARNING SIDEREAL ASTROLOGY CAN HELP RESOLVE INFLUENCE PAINS FROM ORPHANAGES, VISIT THEM IF SO TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF FROM RECREATIONAL HATE)

THIS IS A THANK YOU FROM ALL LEE PACE FANS ACROSS THE GLOBE FOR THIS PUSHING DAISIES EVENT NOW A PUSHING AYAHS NOW BE YOURSELF, LISTEN TO CHUCK AND TAKE OFF EMERSON COD OFF YOUR 'WAITING LIST'

[lingeriae]

you catching an attitude w your best friend!connie after seeing him posted up on a girls instagram? whewwww...

warnings - flufff, connie has nip piercing, mention of readers pum pum but there is no sex! kissing, ass slapping, connie literally says he's gonna have sex with the reader, jealousy, toxic connie if you squint a lil, cursing, reader is female,not proofread, raeder and connie are aged up to 21+

It's a wednesday night when you're scrolling through tiktok with connie on facetime, your laid on your tummy with your feet swinging behind you, thighs being squished by the pink thigh high socks you had on. you giggle at a tiktok your friend scent you moving to reply but pausing to roll your eyes at the deep voice that came from your phone speakers.

"What got you giggling like that?" his voice is raspy due to all the screaming and hollering he was doing while on the game with ony, he glances at you for a second before dragging his eyes back to his computer screen cussing said man for some unknown reason. "why this fool wont stay outta my business." you mutter showing the top half of your face so he wouldn't see the grin on your glossed lips as you watched how he side-eyed you.

Your phone vibrated as you got a notification from instagram, your brows drew together at the message immediately clicking it.

big cocky deja 👅

girlll....

shared @sasha's story

i be instigating or is that baldie???

aint yall talkin??

Lashes fluttering as you blinked at the picture, slowly sitting up as you clicked on the story zooming in lips slowly parting in disbelief. "What's wrong?" the sound of his voice sudddenly reminded you he was on the call, quickly clicking on to the call you rubbed your lips together with drawn eyebrows suddenly becoming irritated with his prescence as you felt your lashes get wet. "Who the fuck is Sasha?" you asked with a steady voice, pushing up your lips impatiently as you waited from his to answer the question.

Connie paused his game at your question, eye brows furrowing as he turned to look at you. He bit his lips as he looked at you, noting the irritation your face with a shake of his head he turned back to the game. "Don't wory bout it." Your face twisted at his words staring at his side profile for a minute before sucking your teeth not carying if he could note how upset you were.

"Alright, bro, bye." not giving him the chance to answer you hang up deciding to go on 'sasha's page to stalk her itching to find out who she is, and what relation she has to connie. Mid scrolling you pause at a picture of her kissing connie's cheek, it was posted a few months back but it still made you feel a pit in your stomach and made you gnaw at your lips while tears ran down your cheeks. Connie was messaging your phone non-stop, telling you to stop playing and answer his messages, trying to explain shit between him and the sasha girl, but you didn't bother reading any replying with a simple thumbs-up emoji and muting him.

You thought about how silly you were being seeing as how you and Connie weren't even together, but it felt like you were. Always together and if you weren't you'd alway be on the phone, always telling each other shit, always sharing tender touches and meaningful glances at eachother - fuck he even called you 'his girl' infront of his homeboys, didn't that mean you were together? although, he didn't ask so that technically didn't mean you were but you weren't seeing nobody and he reassured you that he wasn't either, was that just a lie?

Sniffing you clicked off of sasha's profile, leaving your phone on the bed as you got up to use the bathroom. Looking at your puffy eyed expression you sucked you teeth mad at yourself for crying over some boy, you gently washed your face with cool water before using a towel to wipe away the water and applying baby oil to your plump lips, the sudden knocking on your door had your eyebrows furrowing until you realized who it could be. The thought alone caused an annoyed sigh to leave your lips, and for you to feign ignorance to the fluttering of your stomach, because of what could possible happen.

Taking your time to walk to the door, stopping at the mirror on the wall to fix your appearance and unbuttoning your snoopy pajama top to show a little of your cleavage, a gold necklace with the inital 'c' glistening against the pretty brown skin of your supple breast, you turned to look at the shorts bending over to shake your ass a little but quickly standing up as Connie's knocking grew louder.

Rolling your eyes you walked up to the door, pulling it open to reveal Connie. Your pussy did a thump thump as you took him in, a black tank top you're sure he just slipped on in a hurry, his nipples along with his nipple piercings pushing against the material of it and grey sweatpants. His hands were shoved in the pocket of his sweatpants as his eyes roamed your body slightly pausing on your thighs that spilled through the material of your socs, jaw clenching as he finally met your eyes with an eyebrow raised.

Leaning against your door you look him up and down before looking at your coks clad feet, fidgeting as you felt his gaxe pierce into you. "What do you want Constance? It's late."

He squinted his eyes at you letting out a sarcastic laugh with his tongue poking his inner cheek, "You too good to look at me, or sum?"

Cocking out your hips with your arms crossed over your chest, you shook your head before rolling your eyes at him moving to shut the door while muttering "I aint got time for this." softly under your breath. Your breath hitched as Connie held unto the door, pushing it open and walking inside before shutting it behind him leaning against the door and refusing to break eye-contact with you.

Scoffing you turn your back to him before walking to your room, an extra sway in your hips as you feel him walking closely behind you, eyes on the fat that spilled out of the material of your shorts. he let out cuss under his breath as he almost hit a wall which caused a small mischievous smile to pulll at your lips. falling unto your bed with a huff you glared at him. You hated the fact that he looked so good, his muscle straining againt the material of his tank top as he crossed his arms looking down at you, dick straining against his sweatpants, your mouth almost watering at the sight had you looking away.

"What's your problem?" laughing with a shake of your head you pointed a finger towards your chest. "Me? I don't got a problem, cause im not supposed to worry about it right? tuh fuck you take me for."

Connie groans running a hand down his face mumbling something in spanish under his breath, fueling your anger. After he disregards your question he comes into your house acting as if you were the problem, when he was out there laid up with other girls. You stand up from the spot on your bed smacking your lips together as you snatched your phone from it's position on your bed, walking past him making sure not to touch him as you made your way to the kitchen. His mouth parted at your attitude, hot on your trail as you began mumbling some shit under your breath.

"Don't even know why I fucking bother, aint like you my man anyway-" you inhaled deeply as connie pressed himself behind you, mouth running dry as you felt all the muscle beneath his tank top and his dick against your ass hands shoved into his pockets as he watched you take a water bottle out of the fridge with shaky hands, trying your best to ignore his presence behind you.

"Whatchu mumbling? Say it again so I can hear you." The vibration from his words runs throughout your body and straight to your pussy, your back straightens as you close the fridge spinning around to through him a weak glare that quickly flattered as he looked down at you through his lashes, his eyes almost seeming dark. Your legs shook as he licked his lips the action not going unnoticed by him, you took a deep breath before unlocking your phone, shoving it into his face a second later refusing to meet his eyes.

His honey coloured eyes dragged from your face to your phone, taking it from you to look at what you were showing him properly, his lips parting to release a huff that sounded something too close to a laugh had your eyes dragging from the floor to meet his, shivering a bit as they were already on you. Raising a brow at you connie licked his lips, "You jealous, ma?" giving him a blank look you tried snatching your phone out of his hand only for him to move it back, your chest now pressed against his. Biting your lips as you feel his nipple piercing rub agains your nipples, you try not to let a whimper escape you at the groan he lets out and the look on his face, bottom lip tucked between his teeth with a pink blush across his face and a look of lust in his eyes. You shiver as he removes the hand he has in his pocket, bringing it to rest on your back to keep you against him.

He rubs his nose against yours before resting his forehead against yours gently squeezing your hips, he kisses your lips twice transferring the baby oil you placed on them earlier to his lips, and you allow him savouring the taste of them like you have many times before. "Sasha's this girl I used to talk to," he says after a minute, letting out a breath through his nose at the way you tense beneath his touch and try to move away before he's pulling you back against him placing your phone on the counter so that he can hold your face. You look at him with your lips folded, hurt evident in your expression which caused him to sigh softly and kiss your cheeks. "We weren't together cause I found out she was messing round with some guy. I haven't talked to her since, and I wouldn't have known she posted that shit cause I blocked her."

eyes watering, the tips of your figer brush aginst the thread of his sweat pants as you play with the strings watching the way you twirl it around your finger, sniffing you slowly look up at him rubbing your lips together. "You promise?" humming he kisses you again, leaning back wiping under your eyes.

"Promise baby." you pull him down to kiss you again, parting your lips to give him access and sighing into his mouth as his hands slip under your snoppy pajama top. He leans back again pecking your lips and resting his forehead against yours with closed eyes, you feel his hands move from your face to your hips inching towards your ass before he gives it a squeeze laughing as you hiss at him and try to remove his hands.

"Looked too good not to," He says leaning down to kiss you again, " gonna fuck the shit outta you for giving me so much attitude." the sound of a smack sounds through the air as connie slaps your ass, rubbing it after and laughing at your whines.

"Connie! Don't do that shit it hurts!"

[mypoisonedvine]

𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 || niki lauda x reader

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: niki takes only very calculated risks, except when you’re around to show him how to have a bit more fun.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: about 3k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: smut (semi-public sex, rough-ish sex, road head, very slight dubcon but really just mild hesitance), a touch of degradation (but it comes from a place of love I promise), spanking (briefly), established relationship, niki being massively introverted and slightly rude (but like, same)

[gif is mine, which explains why it looks so bad]

“How long do we have to stay here?” Niki mumbled into your ear, making you roll your eyes.

“We’ve only just arrived,” you reminded him.  “It’s a lovely afternoon, it’s a beautiful property, and I want you to meet my friends.”

“I know, I’m not trying to suggest we leave too quickly, I just want to know how much dull conversation I’m in for.”

You shoved his shoulder, only as hard as you thought you could without disturbing the flute of champagne in his hand.  “I hope nobody hears you talking that way.”

Before he could respond, the owner of the aforementioned beautiful property stepped up and extended his hand to Niki warmly.  “You must be the elusive Nikolaus we’ve heard so much about!”

“Just Niki is fine, thank you,” he returned with a firm shake and a polite smile.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

The small talk went on that way for a while, with Niki just barely managing to come across as socially acceptable and thankfully staying away from too much racing talk (even when other guests tried to egg him on for more details about it).

That was one of the many interesting things about your boyfriend: it wasn’t that he lacked any social intelligence, in fact he had more than most crowds he was in put together, it was just that he didn’t really seem to mind if people saw him as a bit cold or standoffish.  He could be incredibly charming, after all he had charmed you quite easily, but he preferred to be brutally honest.  All was well so long as honesty and politeness didn’t interfere.

After a few conversations where you clung to his arm and laughed at all his jokes, you could see him becoming visibly tired of it all; he ran his fingers through his sandy-blonde curls more often, he began to toy with the button of his blazer, all signs of subtle irritation that only you would pick up on.  It made you realize you should find a way to excuse the two of you for a moment, to give him a break.

“Say, Niki, would you like to take a walk in the vineyard?” you offered, hoping your friends would pick up on the signal not to invite themselves along.

“Yes, schatz, that would be lovely,” he nodded, and as the two of you quickly waved goodbye to those you had been conversing with, he grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“What do you think of them?” you prompted when you were far enough away from everyone else that you knew he wouldn’t be heard.

“They have a lot of questions,” he mumbled exhaustedly, making you laugh.

“They want to get to know you better!  I’ve been subjecting them to hours of going on and on about you, no wonder they’re excited to finally hear it straight from the man himself,” you explained.  

“I imagine they’re rather disappointed,” he smirked.

“Niki, of course they’re not!” you gasped.  “In fact, I bet they’re pleasantly surprised considering I told them so many awful things about you.”

He laughed lightly, looking down at the ground, and you walked around in front of him to grab the lapel of his blazer and pull him closer.  As he leaned in for a kiss, you kept leaning back with a smirk, making him chase you.  It didn’t last long, of course, his patience running thin until he grabbed your face and crashed his lips against yours.  You melted into it, moaning softly when his tongue traced over your lips and finally slipped into your mouth.

It was you chasing him when he pulled back, already totally lost in him and ready to ditch the party just to kiss him for an hour.

“You shouldn’t tease me like that,” he decided, looking at you with half-lidded eyes and lips that were a bit pinker than usual as well as fallen slack.

“You shouldn’t kiss me so good after I tease you like that, and I’ll have no reason to,” you countered.

When you turned around you realized you were approaching the driveway where you’d parked in the first place, and Niki immediately stepped up to the car.  “Let’s take a drive,” he suggested, but it didn’t quite feel like a suggestion when he was already opening your door for you and ushering you in.

“Wh— really?” you questioned, but you were already in your seat and he had shut the door behind you, circling the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat.  “Where are we going to go?” you asked when he got behind the wheel and turned the key.

“Just around, we’ll be back soon,” he shrugged, and you decided not to question it anymore; clearly, this was his best way to clear his head, and you were just happy he wanted you to come with him.

He took the car out of the driveway and started a journey down the road; you looked out the window at the scenery rolling by, and realized this was probably as good a way as any to show him the vineyard like you promised.  But, when you looked back at him where he was stoically staring out, steering through the twists and turns of the countryside road like it was second nature, you decided it was a better view than the scenery outside.

When you reached up to turn on the radio, he quickly smacked your hand— lightly, but enough to make you frown.  “Hey!” you defended, returning your hand to your lap.

“I prefer not to have music on when I drive,” he explained.  “It distracts me.”

You snorted out a laugh.  “You’re one of the best drivers alive, I figured you can manage a few distractions.”

“I can,” he countered, and you were a bit surprised that he didn’t challenge the qualifier of one of the best drivers alive.   “I just mean that the sound of the car is more entertaining to me than music.”

That answer sounded a lot more like the Niki you knew, and you smiled as you laid back against the passenger seat.  “You have a funny idea of entertainment, Niki,” you informed him.

“I know,” he nodded.

Glancing over at him, admiring his profile as he stared down at the road ahead, your lip caught in your teeth as you had a really, really bad idea.  “So you can drive with distractions?”

“If I need to,” he shrugged.

“Then maybe we can both get some entertainment,” you purred, sitting up and starting to lean closer to him.

“Schatz, what are you doing?” he stammered slightly, watching you with wide eyes as you reached to his belt, opening it quickly and already unzipping his fly.

“Shh, focus on the road Niki,” you winked, pulling his cock from his trousers and grinning at the way he gasped slightly.  It wasn’t quite hard yet, but it was growing quickly in your grasp, and a few kitten licks over the tip certainly helped him along.

“F-fuck,” he whispered above you, and you fought your smile as you wrapped your lips around him.  “Fuck.”

You hollowed your cheeks and bobbed your head, moaning a bit just from the taste of a drop of precum forming at his slit and smearing on your tongue.

“Wait, this— this is dangerous,” he breathed, and you kept stroking while you pulled off to reply.

“Shouldn’t be if you drive steady.”

“I can do that,” he nodded.  “I think…”

You got back to it before he could start worrying again.  The poor guy was always thinking, constantly assessing and analyzing everything, and it honestly sounded fucking exhausting.  Sometimes you thought sucking him off was the only way to really get him out of his head, and considering the way his body relaxed under your touch and he let out a soft sigh, this was one of those times.

“Baby,” he moaned lowly as your lips met the base of his cock, and although you were certainly partial to the petnames in his native tongue, you really didn’t mind the way he called you ‘baby’ either.  It made you want to keep him buried in your throat forever, but sadly you could only go so long without breathing.

So, instead, you just found a pattern you were happy with of sucking the head and stroking the rest.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed, reaching down with one hand to hold the back of your head, guiding your movements.

You had to be careful not to block the gear shift when you were bent over like this, which was a bit uncomfortable but ultimately so worth it when he shifted gears quickly while you were still bobbing your head over his length.  Now you understood why he liked to hear the car… because now you could feel the car, feel the engine’s thrum as it reverberated through the steel and over your body.  It was actually a bit erotic, now that you thought about it; but then again, everything seems erotic when you’re as turned on as you were in the moment, your body crying out for more than it would have a chance to get any time soon.

He shifted gears again, taking the car around a tight turn, and you held onto his thighs tightly to keep from moving too much.  Thankfully he kept his promise to drive steady and it was pretty easy to keep your pace, even to speed it up as you hoped he would come down your throat without ever stopping the car or even slowing down.

The way he hissed in a sharp breath and grabbed your hair, accidentally pulling it (which you certainly didn't mind), made you think it wasn't so far off.

"God, you're a devil with that tongue, schatz," he groaned.  "Your mouth is so fucking sweet, you'll make me come."

You hoped your little hum around him made it clear that that was exactly what you wanted.

"You'll swallow it all, yes?" he pressed.  "You're not going to let any mess get on my beautiful leather seats, are you?"

You hummed again, sucking harder, and he moaned a bit louder.

"Fuck, j-just like that," he sighed.  "Don't— ah— don't stop, schatz, I'm close."

As if you would stop when all you could think about was the taste of him, how badly you wanted it to coat your tongue.  Already you could feel his cock starting to flex against your tongue and you doubled your efforts to bring him to the edge.  Normally you didn’t get a chance to hear his little moans and sighs because you were too busy making your own, so with your mouth full you could appreciate the sounds he made just for you.

It was only a stuttered gasp that signaled his release, just before ropes of warm come started to hit the back of your throat.  You narrowly avoided gagging from the way his hand pushed you down and held you there, but you moaned around him at the taste.  Your channel was throbbing, clearly annoyed that he was coming anywhere else.

Niki whispered your name, nearly choked on it, and let go as the pulses began to die down and he let out a long, sharp breath.  But you weren’t quite done; you kept moving for a few moments, slowly, making sure to have every drop in your mouth before you finally pulled off and swallowed; you noticed a spare drop of come rolling down his shaft and stuck your tongue out to lick it up in a quick swipe while he noticeably tensed beneath you.

He spared a glance at you as you sat up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and you didn’t miss the shocked, yet exhausted, look on his face.  "Satisfied?" you asked with a proud grin.

"Not quite," he answered in a growl, pulling the car to the side of the road and parking it quickly.  "Get out and bend over the hood."

"Niki, what if someone—?"

"I think I made myself clear, get out and bend over the hood, schatz."

The petname had a lot more venom to it when he said it like that, with a cold sneer on his lips, and that likely should’ve deterred you but it only stoked the flame of need burning in your gut, and you nodded meekly before opening your door and getting out of the car.  He followed you as you bent over, placing his body behind your as he pulled your dress up and your panties down.

Right away he swiped two fingers through your folds and you shuddered.  "Dripping wet," he observed with a smirk.  "Do you like having my cock in your mouth that much?"

You nodded, trying to rock your hips for more friction.

"This pussy must have been so lonely,” he realized.  “Want me to fill you up, pretty girl?”

“Please,” you breathed, but even you didn’t expect him to shove into you in one stroke, right away, spearing you right to the brim as you choked on a gasp.  And he was moving right away, too, giving you no time to adjust to the girth of him.  "Fuck, Niki!" you whined, earning you a hard spank to your ass.  

You should’ve known he’d get back at you for those few minutes where you wielded power over him.  Well, actually, you sort of had known, which was part of why you did it in the first place.

For a man who had just come already, he fucked you with a lot more desperation than you were expecting, fast and rough and dirty.  But you realized it was more for your benefit than his; damn him, he always knew exactly what you needed and gave it to you effortlessly, operating your body with the same intuitive precision he drove his cars with.

And if we're continuing with the car metaphors, then reaching around to rub your clit while he fucked you was like kicking you into high gear.

"Ohhhh my god," you crooned, arching your back and trying to push back against his thrusts.

"It feels good?" he asked, like it wasn't obvious.

"Feels so fucking good, Niki, please please please don't stop," you begged.  Because you wouldn't put it past him to stop all of a sudden— to slam on the e-brake and not move again until you squirmed and cried and pleaded your little heart out.  But even he wouldn't be so cruel now, and he kept fucking you as he pinched your clit hard.

"That's what I thought," he nodded, leaning down to wrap his body over yours and speak into your ear.  "You're moaning like a little whore, you know."

"M'your whore," you gasped.  "Yours, fuck, it's all for you."

He stood back up straight with a grin and held your hips as he started to really pound into you, your walls beginning to pulse rhythmically as you felt him rubbing over every sensitive spot inside you.  His cock was so deep that it felt like you struggled to breathe slightly each time he shoved all the way inside.

It was a bit out of character for him, much more aggressive than he would normally be, but you didn't pull over expecting to make love on the car.  No, this was fucking, through and through, and you were already going to hit your high so much sooner than you could've anticipated: pressure was building inside you faster than you knew what to do with, and your clit was literally throbbing with only his balls slapping against it to provide any relief.

"Oh god, Niki, baby, I'm… I'm gonna come," you panted.

"Do it, then," he instructed roughly.  "Come around my cock, schatz, and scream nice and loud for me since nobody's around to hear you."

Your knees buckled when it hit you, thankfully you had the car and his tight grip to keep you upright.  “Fuck, Niki,” you sobbed, and he laughed proudly before spitting out his demand:

“Louder.”

“Niki!” you yelped, and apparently you had finally said it loud enough, because he was suddenly groaning and spilling inside you, holding your hips tight enough to bruise to keep you still as he thrusted erratically.

You hummed happily and let your head fall onto the warm hood of the car, body going limp as he finally stilled and let out a slow sigh.  He was careful as he pulled out, but you were still so sensitive that it made your toes curl inside your shoes just a bit.

Even though he was quick to pull your panties back up, a drop of his come still managed to leak out of your hole and drip down your thigh.  With no intent to let it go to waste, Niki swiped it up with the tip of his finger and brought it to your lips for you to lick off; you were still a bit groggy in the afterglow but happily obliged, suckling the digit with a little simultaneous moan and sigh.

“We should be getting back to the party soon,” Niki mumbled, helping you stand upright and straightening your dress for you.  

“Do I look alright?” you asked, opening the passenger door and flipping down the visor to try to use the small mirror inside.

“You look gorgeous,” he smiled.

“I mean more if I look like I didn’t just leave a garden party to get railed by my boyfriend on the side of the road only to then return like nothing happened,” you explained.

“Oh… yeah, no, you do look a bit like that’s exactly what you’ve done,” he nodded.  “Do you really think they’ll notice?”

“Well, I guess we just have to hope they don’t,” you decided as you attempted to fix your lipstick as best as possible.  “And if they do… then we'll hope we don’t end up reading some unsavory gossip about Ferrari’s newest driver in the papers tomorrow.”

He laughed as he got back in the driver’s seat, starting the car while you hopped in (a bit too fast; you winced when you sat down and realized you were still slightly sore and probably would be for the rest of the day).  “Trust me, schatz, in this industry, fucking your girlfriend only qualifies as unsavory gossip when you already have a wife at home.  And even then, you can get away with it a few times.”

“Right,” you snorted as you rolled your eyes, “I forget sometimes that you’re considered a goody two-shoes for a racer.”

“I hope you didn’t agree to be my girlfriend in search of wild adventures with the bad boy type,” he smirked.

“We just fucked on the car right on the side of the road, Niki,” you reminded him, “believe it or not that’s pretty wild for most of us.”

“For me as well,” he agreed.  “It’s you that makes me so bold... sometimes I can hardly believe the things I do because you’re near.”

You smiled happily to yourself, relaxing back against the seat with a deep breath.  Just when you let your eyes fall shut as you listened to the engine with him, you were surprised when you heard him turn the radio on.

You, you make loving fun

It’s all I wanna do…

You chuckled.  “I like this song,” you announced, reaching to turn it up slightly, though it was still mainly background music as you watched the hillside roll by.

He surprised you again by reaching out and resting his hand on your thigh, rubbing his thumb over your skin.  But his eyes were still on the road, even when you looked over at him, and you recognized the driveway where you’d started down the end of the way.

“Back to reality, eh?” you sighed.

“For now,” he decided.  “I should make you meet other drivers and pit crew as revenge for all these social engagements you take me too.”

“Niki, that would require you to socialise with other drivers and pit crew, too,” you noted.

He shuddered.  “You should be safe for now, then.”

[that-sarcastic-writer]

Hurts like hell (Stephen Holder)

Pairing: Stephen Holder X F!Reader

Summary: After not seeing each other for almost a year, Stephen finds you, and you have a lot of things to talk about

Takes place between s1 and s2, like around the time holder is starting as homicide detective and is around 6 months clean

Warnings: this is a heavy one, mentions of drug use and addiction, mentions of overdose, explicit sexual content, minors DNI, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, creampie lots of dirty talk, Holder being a kinky fucker, cause like that motherfucker is kinky, language, heavy angst, and a happy ending

WC: 6.4k I hate myself

A/N: Writing this was the literal description of the "I aint gonna do it" "already did it" sound from tiktok. So I honestly don't know why I spent 6+ hours writing this, tbh I don't expect many people to read it, cause like the killing is very underrated. But its Joel's best show, and honestly Stephen Holder is his best character along with Rick and Takeshi Kovacs, what can I say, holder deserves some love and appreciation and i really felt like writing for him. We'll see what happens. If anyone does happen to read it I hope you enjoy the angst and sin, which is usually my specialty.

Comments and reblogs are highly appreciated!

There are a lot of things in this world that can hurt a person to the point of feeling like they're being torn apart. Love shouldn't be one of those things. Love should be one of those things in life that makes a person happy, fills them with joy and makes their day seem brighter. But like hell it is. Love hurts like hell. And that's something you experienced first hand.

You knew loving someone wasn't easy, committing yourself and opening yourself to a person and being completely vulnerable to whatever they might choose to do with your heart. But you never expected it to hurt as much as it did to love someone as much as you loved him. Because whatever was hurting him, it hurt you, whenever he was hurting, you were hurting too. And it killed you. But what truly dug the dagger into your chest and twisted it was the fact that he was hurting himself. He was killing himself and he knew it, he liked it.

You were head over heels for a drug addict cop.

You knew you should've seen the red flags, I mean he fucking screamed red flags. Outside of the fact like that he looked high as a kite 24/7, the man had so many issues and trauma it wasn't even funny. The man screamed childhood trauma from a mile away. But somehow you looked past it because he was the sweetest and most down to earth guy you had ever met. He made you laugh like nobody else could just because he was so dumb and sweet. It was easy to love a guy like him.

What wasn't easy was dealing with his addiction. And god knows you really tried. You did everything you could to help him. You tried to get him clean, you tried to take him to NA meetings, hell, you even let him get high in your apartment just so he wouldn't overdose in some crack house. But no matter what you did, you couldn't help him. He wouldn't let you, he would just push you away. And it killed you.

Walking away from him was probably the hardest thing you ever had to do. But maybe it was for the best.

It sure as hell hurt like it, there were times you were lying wide awake at night thinking if he was okay, if he had money to eat that night, or if he had just overdosed somewhere and you would never see him again. You didn't know, maybe you made a mistake leaving him, or maybe you did the right thing and it was the wake up call he needed. You had no way of knowing. But even after almost a year of being away you still thought about it, about him. Hell, whenever you saw a tall, lanky man with a jacket and a hoodie under it your mind would automatically ask yourself 'is that Stephen?' even if it was for just a second.

But with how far gone he was the last time you saw him, when you came back to Seattle you really had zero hope of seeing him, and if you did, it would probably break your heart all over again.

Loving the right person at the wrong time really hurts like hell.

It was so late at night your heart nearly jumped right out of your chest when you heard a couple of rapid knocks on your door. You were on your feet so fast you nearly bumped the foot of the couch. It was really late and you weren't expecting anyone at all. You had recently moved back to Seattle, and nobody outside of your immediate family knew your address. So who the hell was knocking on your door in the middle of the night?

You cautiously made your way around the arraignment of boxes on the floor to the front door. You looked through the peephole to see if you could see anyone. You saw a tall man, wearing a black jacket, but that was as much as you could see since his back was to the door and all you could see was the back of his short hair. You thought of him. God you hated your mind. But there was no way, he didn't have a way to know you were back in town. Surely, it couldn't have been him, right?

Well, there was only one way to know.

You made sure you kept the latch on before you unlocked the door and slowly opened it, only your head poking out. When you did, the man turned around and oh— you felt your heart sink and your stomach turn into a knot when you saw him. You saw Stephen, right there, right in front of you, pretty damn alive, too. For a moment you felt relieved because he was alive, he looked okay, he looked... Clean. Of course he still had a paleness to his face, and dark circles under his eyes like he hadn't slept in years, which was probably true considering his job. But he didn't have that lost look in his eyes, he didn't have that sweaty look that made him look perpetually sick, restless or like he was going to make a whole in the center of the earth because he wouldn't stay still. Maybe he was clean. Maybe.

But that thought lasted about two seconds before everything else came crashing down. Every attempt you made of getting him clean, every night you held him shaking because he was withdrawing, every time he'd give you that guilty puppy dog look when he'd tell you he relapsed again. You remembered all of it, and you were done with it.

"No, no, no." You shook your head and went to close the door as fast as you could, not even giving him a chance to speak.

"No, no, hold up." He was quick, he got his foot in the door so you couldn't shut it on his face, he placed his hand flat on the door, too, just so you wouldn't close it on him.

"Stephen," You squeezed your eyes shut and exhaled sharply, voice harsh and sharp when you said his name for the first time in a long time. "Get the hell out. Now, I mean it."

"I just wanna talk, c'mon. Please." He sounded desperate, it was urgent, like he needed it. But you had heard that millions of times, you just couldn't do it. You couldn't go through this pain all of over again. You said nothing and you simply shook your head, shoving his foot back as you went to shut the door as hard as you could, but you stopped when he nearly shouted, "I'm clean!"

Your eyes blew wide, and you actually looked up at him, eyes meeting his. "W-what?"

"I'm clean." He repeated with a soft chuckle and he half smiled, feeling a small bit of pride in it, "I've been clean for six months. Can we just— c'mon baby I just wanna talk. I needa talk to you. Please?" He had this puppy dog look in his eyes, like he was silently begging you, he sounded genuine too.

God you wish you had more willpower than this. You always said that if you saw him again you would shut the door on his face and you wouldn't look back, you promised yourself you wouldn't go down this rabbit hole again. But fuck, seeing Stephen again, seeing him actually okay and just begging to talk, it made all of your anger and resentment suddenly disappear.

You chewed on your bottom lip, screwing your eyes shut and nearly slammed your forehead on the door as you had a quick mental battle with yourself. What the hell. You sighed heavily and kicked his foot away from the door before shutting it, hard. But just for a second because when you undid the latch you fully opened it this time. Trying to fight against the little sickness in your stomach and the shakiness in your knees, you took him in, your eyes taking in his tall frame, he looked good. God you hated that you missed him.

"You got like 60 seconds to tell me why you're here or I'm kicking your skinny white ass out." You said as you stepped away from the door, he followed you inside like a lost puppy. You swore you heard him chuckle behind you.

"You serious?" He chuckled, but the grin on his lips quickly turned into a flat line when he saw the blank expression on your face, your eyebrows shot up and your arms crossed over your chest, you were very serious. "You're lookin' good Y/N."

"Stephen." You said sternly, slightly tightening your jaw and rolling your eyes at his attempt at flirting. He always had a way of sweet talking people, especially you. But it would take a whole lot more just than that this time. "How did you even know I live here? And please don't tell me you've looked at my DMV records or some shit like that."

"Pff what? Babygirl, who do you think I am? I ain't a stalker you know that." He scoffed and shook his head dismissively.

"Look, I've been.. I've been lookin' for you, y'know? You were right, I hit rock bottom, I didn't care what I was putting in my veins, down my throat or up my nose. It was bad and uhm, I got help. I started going to N.A meetings, I got a sponsor, I was startin' to get back on my feet. But I didn't want you to see me like that no more, not after that last time so I waited. When I uh, when I got my one month chip I wanted to tell you but you weren't at your apartment, you weren't at work, I knew your parents wouldn't tell me shit, so I asked around, heard you moved to Cali or somethin' so I uh.. I stopped lookin'. Until a couple of weeks ago, I heard you were back in town, so y'know, I had to come see my girl."

There was something in the way he said it, in the way his voice got softer and quieter towards the end. Almost as if it hurt him to say it as much as it hurt you to hear it.

"I'm not your girl anymore, Stephen. That was a long time ago."

Was it though? You knew you were lying when you said you weren't his girl anymore. You knew you sure as hell never stopped loving him, you could never get yourself to date somebody else, no matter how many times you tried to meet other people, it was always Stephen who was on your mind. He was the one you wanted to hold you through the night, not anyone else. Even if you wanted to convince yourself otherwise.

"Yeah, 'cause you left." He spat, his voice was low but it was harsh, resentful and heartbroken. You really hadn't dared to look him in the eye, you couldn't bring yourself to, but when he said that, like it was your fault, then you looked at him and scoffed in disbelief. "Why did you leave? Why did you just run away like that? Didn't say why, didn't say goodbye, didn't say nothin'. You just left."

"Why did I leave?" You repeated in disbelief, "Are you seriously asking me why? I can't fucking believe you, I just can't. You're so fucking cynical." You exhaled sharply, feeling hot tears fill your eyes. You didn't know if you were crying from sadness or from anger. You couldn't believe he would ask you that as if it were your fault, when he damn well knew he fucked things up too.

"I'm cynical? You for real right now?" He scoffed in disbelief, his expression was hard, full of pure disbelief and hurt. "Well I didn't just take my shit and left when things got too hard. I didn't just give up on you, now did I?"

Oh hell no. He didn't just say that.

If you were angry before, you were absolutely fuming now. You felt your blood boil so much you felt like you were on fire. How could he even say that? You didn't even have the right words, you were absolutely speechless. Your face was soaked with hot angry tears when you lunged yourself forward and shoved him back hard. And again. He stumbled back both times, he nearly fell right on his ass. The third time he planted his feet on the floor, so you pounded your closed fists hard on his chest.

"Fuck you Stephen! Fuck you! Fuck you!" You shouted at him, eyes screwed shut as you hit his chest over and over. He grabbed both of your wrists, grunting lowly when you wouldn't stop and he held you to his chest despite you fighting against it.

"How could you fucking say that!? How could you say that I gave up on you? You fucking OD'ed in my bathroom! I had to drag your ass to my bathtub, get in the bathtub with you and hold you hoping you wouldn't die on me. Because I couldn't call an ambulance because you'd get arrested and you'd lose your job! So I just had to sit there, in that freezing cold water, holding your shaking body and fucking beg you wouldn't die." You choked out, the memory of it making you feel like you couldn't breathe. You had stopped struggling so he let you go, and for the first time ever, he was actually speechless and like he didn't know what to say.

So he just stood there, jaw tight and eyes filled with tears as he looked down at you. "And even when you stole money from me just to get another damn fix, I stayed, I stayed because I loved you. But you have no idea how hard it was to see you slowly kill yourself and not let me help you. I couldn't watch you die. Trust me Stephen, leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I didn't want to sit here and watch you kill yourself. I couldn't do it. So don't you dare say I gave up on you, because you gave up on yourself the minute you choose to put that shit in your veins."

"I—" There weren't many times you had seen Stephen cry. He was sweet and the most human person you've ever met, but he had so many walls he wasn't one break down and let his walls down. But now? He cried like you had never seen him cry before. You weren't looking at his face, his chest was as far as you could see without lifting your head up, but you knew he was crying. You could hear the quiet choked out sobs, his shaky breath and the way his chest rumbled with each sob.

"I'm sorry. God I'm so sorry." He pulled you to his chest, no resistance from you this time, and he cried hard, he cried into your hair. You did the same. You cried into his chest until you felt his hoodie start to get wet. Then he just fell to his knees in front of you. It was like he just couldn't hold himself together anymore and he was breaking down, right there, right in front of you.

"God I'm so sorry Y/N. You're right I.. I was hurting you and I didn't give a shit. I just kept putting that shit inside me cause that's all I knew how to do. I was just some lowlife tweaker and you deserved better than that. You—you were right to leave my sorry ass." He sobbed into your shirt like he couldn't breathe, like the realization was suddenly hitting him and it was putting so much pressure on his chest he couldn't breathe.

"Stephen, that's not true." You said shakily, running your fingers through his short hair as you cradled his head, squeezing your eyes shut as you tried not to choke on your own sobs.

"No, yes it's true. I wasn't the man you needed, hell I still ain't. I'm just some lowlife junkie tryna stay clean. And trust me it's hard. I've been goin' to my meetings and trying to stay focused on my job, but I'm always thinkin' about getting a fix. And maybe I will someday, when shit gets really hard and I'll just relapse again. That's not the kind of man you need in your life." He was ready to stand up, leave and never come back into your life like he should've done the minute he met you. But you didn't let him.

"Stephen," You said his name shakily as you dropped to your knees in front of him and took his face between your hands so he would look at you. "Baby I didn't leave because I didn't love you or because you didn't deserve me, I left because I loved you too much to watch you hurt yourself like that. It hurt like hell. But it was selfish, I should've stayed with you no matter what and I wish I had. That's why I came back, maybe it was too late or maybe it wasn't, but you're here, you're alive and you've been clean. And whatever demons you still got in you, we'll fight them together. If you still want me in your life."

"You kiddin'? You think I tried to bribe your parents into talkin' to me for weeks just so I could let you walk away? Hell nah. There's no way in hell. I want my girl back and I want to do it right this time." He half smiled, eyes closing and he pressed his forehead against yours.

"You bribed my parents so they'd tell you where I was?" You laughed, sniffling softly and he nodded. "Not gonna lie, that sounds kinda shady. You sure you ain't a stalker Officer Holder?"

"Actually, it's Detective Holder now. Homicide Detective for the Seattle P.D." He corrected you, a small proud smirk on his lips as he said that. You pulled back a bit to look at his face, trying to see if he was joking or not and you smiled. You knew he always wanted to be a city detective.

"Oh really? You're a detective now huh? Wow, look at you, you're all important now. Bet you got a lot of ass wanting to get a piece of your skinny white ass." You teased, bringing the back of your hand to wipe your tear stained face. Stephen did the same as he laughed softly.

"You already know how I do. I got one or two waiting for me to hit them up. Y'know my partner, she's crazy about me."

"Oh is that so?" You pushed your lips together and raised your eyebrows at him, eyes big as if to show shock.

"Oh c'mon baby, don't give me that look. You know I would never want anyone but you. You're my girl and you're always gonna to be, right?"

You were so focused on laughing with him again you didn't realize just how close he was. The space between you was so small you could fill it if either of you moved just an inch. You were aching for it too. You hadn't realized just how much you had missed him until now. Until you had him centimeters away from you, so close you didn't want to let him go again. Your eyes fell on his chapped lips for a second before you lifted your eyes up, and you caught him doing the same. Fuck, you were so close you could feel his warm breath fan right against your face and his body heat radiate around him. Hell, you thought you could even hear his heartbeat. His heart was probably pounding just as hard as yours was.

If only he'd just—

His hand fell on your cheek and you took a deep breath as he leaned in, filling the gap between you two. His lips found yours so fast it felt like they were magnets attracted to each other. It was slow at first, like you were learning about each other all over again, taking each other’s touch for the first time. That discovering phase didn’t last long though, because after a couple of seconds of exploring, a satisfied sigh rumbled in his throat and his tongue was already tracing the outline of your bottom lip. Without hesitation, you opened your mouth, allowing his tongue to swirl with yours in a way that made you squeeze your thighs together trying to get some kind of pressure going. You lifted your hands up and wrapped them around his shoulders, shifting on your knees as you pulled him closer to you. He got the hint quickly.

“Can we just—” He broke the kiss, breathing just as heavy as you were when he pulled away. You nodded quickly.

“Oh fuck yeah.”

Stephen snorted and nodded, standing up to his full height and pulling you up with him. His lips were instantly back on yours, tongue diving in before you even had a chance to breathe. He grabbed the back of your thighs and hoisted you up around his waist, hands on your ass as he held you.

You kind of wished you had warned him about the mess of boxes that was your apartment, because he hadn’t even walked five feet before he was tripping over something on the floor, cursing against your lips as he tried not to fall face first with you in his arms.

“The hell? Yo, why do you got so many boxes here? Damn.” He groaned, kicking one aside with his foot as he looked around, trying to figure out where to go in this unknown apartment.

“I just moved here dumbass, don’t kick my shit.” You tried not to laugh, pressing your face into his shoulder as he just stood there. “My room is upstairs.”

“Oh hell nah. Look I’m all about making love in a nice cozy bed, getting all freaky under the sheets but like, your apartment is a fucking maze. I’m gonna bust my shit walking up them stairs or something.” He frowned, lips slightly pouted as he walked around until he found your couch and promptly threw you on it, making you giggle softly.

“Awe, it’s cute you think you were ever romantic like that.” He pouted even more, somewhat offended by your statement. “Did you forget we’ve fucked in your junk car that smells like an ashtray? So you really think I care about the candles and rose petals on the bed type shit?”

“Such a pretty face and such a dirty mouth, you really are my girl.” He laughed, his body coming to hover over you, right away settling between your legs like he belonged there. “You know I’m all about taking it slow, enjoying the moment and shit but like, I’ve really missed you and I gotta fuck you right here and right now.”

“Stephen,” You grabbed his face, biting your bottom lip so hard you thought you were gonna draw blood. “We got plenty of time to take it slow, but right now I need. So just shut the hell up already and fuck me.” You could’ve sworn you saw his eyes roll into the back of his head but his mouth was on yours so fast you didn’t have time to think about it. His hands found the edge of your shirt and he pulled it over your head with ease. His lips were quick to find the skin of your neck.

“Don’t worry babygirl, I got you. But just know that I ain’t leaving this apartment ‘til I get my head between your thighs, you got that?” His voice dipped so low it sent shivers down your spine. Hell, your head was spinning so much already all you could was nod.

Your own shaky hands eventually found the edge of his thick grey hoodie, you found it kinda cute he still had it, he always seemed to be wearing it. He got the hint and shrugged off his jacket, letting you pull the hoodie over his head quickly after. And he had a t-shirt under it. Damn, how many layers of clothes did this man have?

“You’re wearing too many layers.” You breathed out, your mind barely coherent at that point. Stephen chuckled as he sat back on his knees.

“It’s cold as hell outside, girl. You should warm me up.” He smirked playfully as he grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head only to throw it somewhere over his shoulder. You couldn’t help but grow fixated on his tattooed skin, as dumb as some of his tattoos were, especially the one on his chest, the ink marking his skin was nearly as hot as he was. You couldn’t help but trace your fingers over the large print letters inked across his chest.

“This one new? You didn’t have it a year ago.” You hummed, biting your lip as you felt him shiver under your fingers.

“Yep, you like it?” He smirked, looking down where your fingers were touching his skin. You nodded.

“Yeah, it’s hot as hell.” You smirked, sitting up slightly so that you could press your lips to his chest and leave butterfly kisses along his pale skin.

“Mhm, y’know, I got this cross tattooed on my back, I got it after I got clean. And I was thinkin' of getting your name, too, ‘cause you were the reason I got clean in the first place, and the whole time I was just thinkin' of you, that I wanted to be the man you deserved.” You quickly pulled back to look at him, you blinked slowly, trying to take in every word he said. You let out a soft sigh, eyes meeting his own, he had this lovesick and fond look in them, like he was looking at the thing dearest to him, like there was nothing he loved more. You wish you had seen this sooner. You brought your hand to his face and kissed him so hard you heard him groan.

You wasted no time getting on his lap, straddling him as you worked on unbucking his belt. Your hands were shaking so much you could barely do anything. You eventually got it, the sound of the belt buckle rattling as you shakily tugged his jeans down his hips. He helped you this time, shoving them off the rest of the way until they fell to the floor. So much like you, he was down to his last layer of clothing. And he was so painfully hard under you. You felt all of it right against you, the flimsy material of your pyjama bottoms really wasn’t much of a barrier. So every time you moved, even in the slightest, you could feel the hard line of his cock brush right against you, making you pool into your bottoms more than you already were. But when you felt his hand slip right into your bottoms, fingers meeting with your slick core, that’s when you felt like screaming.

“O-Oh fuck.” You cursed under your breath, eyes nearly rolling into the back of your head at the slightest touch.

Stephen watched the way your face contorted and your mouth fell open when one of his long fingers dipped inside you, your walls instantly tightening around the digit. He felt his cock twitch when he drew out a desperate, choked out moan from you.

“Damn baby, this all for me? You’re all wet from a little kissin’? When was the last time you got some?” He asked lowly, his dropping so low it honestly made you even wetter. When you didn’t respond, he added a second finger, curling both digits until they were brushing right against your most sensitive spot. He had you choking on your own breath then. “I think I asked you a question didn’t I?”

“I-I haven’t with anyone. Just you.” You choked out, words no longer something you knew. He laughed, he fucking laughed, really proud of himself.

“You for real?” You could only nod. “You didn’t let nobody else fill this pretty little pussy, make you feel good?”

“God no. Only you could.” You swore you saw something snap in his eyes because his wrist fucking snapped, his fingers scissoring in a way that made your thighs tremble and jaw fall wide open.

“It was just me huh? You were my good little girl and you knew nobody else was gonna make you feel this good. You knew only I could make you feel so good you were shaking for hours and fucked you so hard you felt me for days, that right? You wanted to be mine even if I wasn’t there.”

As if you were soaked in your clothes already, another pool of wetness seeped right out of you and right into his hand. And the way he breathed out a moan almost made you want to come right then and there. As if his words weren’t enough.

“You missed bein’ called my good girl didn’t you? You missed it when I called you just mine? Hm?”

Words really weren’t an option at that point. All you could do was nod feverishly, a quiet and desperate moan being the only response you could give him at that point. You were so desperate trying to chase your high, the feeling of his fingers becoming too much to handle by then. Stephen seemed to have gotten the hint, because he pressed his lips to your throat as he started to slam his hand, his fingers scissoring you open with each snap of his wrist. But the second you felt his thumb pressing against your clit, you completely lost it. You saw white, a moan so loud leaving your lips you thought your neighbors probably heard and you jolted heavily, sweet release washing over you.

You were still panting heavily when his fingers left you, making you whine softly at the sudden emptiness. But when you opened your eyes you were whining, but for a different reason. Stephen had two fingers in his mouth and he sucked them slowly, eyes never leaving you as he did. Your lips were slightly parted, you couldn’t take your eyes away from him. God that man was fucking hot.

“Damn, I missed your sweet little taste. I think I was more addicted to you than I was to that damn thing.”

“Fuck Stephen, please. I really need you.” You whined, so desperate you tugged your bottoms clean off your legs, kicking them somewhere and you were completely bare on top of him, soaking right onto his boxers.

“I got you princess, don’t worry.” He wasted no time tugging his boxers down, sighing sharply when his length sprung free and slapped right against his stomach. You had to look down, your mouth suddenly dry at the sight. You felt his fingers under your chin as he tipped it up. “Eyes up here baby. You wanna be a good girl and ride me?”

God, how could you say no to that?

You nodded so fast it nearly gave you a headache. He hummed in approval before he grabbed your thighs and pulled you forward, spreading them apart as far as they could go. His eyes were dead on you, dark and determined as he felt you slowly sink down on him, the head of his cock pressing right against your entrance.

“C’mon baby, you got it.” He urged you on, slightly bucking his hips.

You whined softly, your head dropping to his shoulder and gripping the other as you lowered yourself further down. And fuck, it had either been a really long fucking time since you’ve been anyone or you totally forgot how to handle his size. Either way, when he slipped deeper, his sharp and heavy breath mixing with yours, you were already shaking. When he was sitting all the way inside you, you felt your thighs shudder and muscles tighten, your heart beating so fast it made you dizzy.

“You are—” He breathed heavily, Adam’s apple bobbing as you rocked your hips, not quite moving like he wanted you to. “So fuckin’ tight, damn.”

“God I missed you.” You mumbled heavily, face pressed into his shoulder as you brought yourself up before slamming down on his length, drawing out a groan from him. “I missed you so fucking much Stephen.”

He felt his cock twitch inside you and his eyes rolled into the back of his head when he heard you say his name like that. His head was slightly thrown back over the back of the couch, mouth slightly open as you were riding him. But the way you said his name, so desperate and so inebriated on the feeling of him, it made something snap in him.

“Say that again.” He drawled, grabbing a fistful of your hair to pull your head back until you were looking at him.

“I missed you.” You gasped softly, his sudden roughness taking you by surprise, but fuck did you love it. “I missed you so much.” You repeated, eyes screwing shut when he gripped your ass with his free hand and rolled his hips. His lips quickly found yours again and the moan he incited from you when he started to thrust into you got caught in your throat.

“Tell me you love me.” He muttered against your mouth, breaking the kiss to look at your face, as if he needed to see you when you said it. Your hands fell to his chest, placing them flat trying to embrace yourself as you bounced on him. It took you a minute to register his words in your fuzzy state of mind.

“I love you,” You said breathlessly, opening your eyes for a moment to find Stephen’s hazel turned brown eyes staring at you, head tilted back and jaw slightly agape. You lifted a hand to his face and pressed your forehead against his, the familiar recoil starting in your stomach, “God Stephen I love you.”

When you said it again, he wrapped an arm around you and without a single warning, he flipped you over, you were flat on your back, eyes wide, mouth hanging open and suddenly empty. You were about to yell at him when he grabbed one of your ankles and slid you towards him, throwing that leg over his shoulder. He slammed so hard into you it made you scream, back arching and eyes rolling into the back of your head.

It was his show now.

He wasted absolutely no time taking it slow, finding a pace, none of that. He pounded into you, hips snapping at a quick and even pace, bottoming himself out with each thrust. He had you feeling that recoil again in a matter of seconds. You were damn sure you were about to see stars.

When your eyes opened for a split second, you swore your face flushed even more because when you did, you saw Stephen, lips slightly parted and eyes fixed between your bodies, right where he was sinking in and out of you.

“Damn.” He mumbled lowly, suddenly fixated on the sight of him fucking in and out of you.

He licked his thumb and dropped his hand between your bodies, pressing his thumb against your clit, quickly rubbing sharp circles on the bundle of nerves. You were going to lose it soon, you knew it. And judging by the way Stephen started to thrust into you with purpose, he knew it too.

He used his free hand to grip the armrest above your head and he leaned over you, sweaty chest pressing right against yours as the sound of slapping skin filled your ears.

“Don’t stop,” You urged breathlessly, being so close you felt like you were going to pass out. “Please, please Stephen, don’t stop.”

“I got you baby, c’mon, come for me.” He urged, giving a particularly hard and deep thrust that mixed with the shocking waves from your clit, completely sent you over the edge.

The sob that came out of your mouth as you came fell right into the air, filling the apartment, surely to be heard by whoever had the misfortune to share a wall with you. Your thighs trembled pathetically as your walls gripped him like vice, nails digging into his back as you sobbed his name quietly. You must’ve squeezed him hard because his eyes rolled into the back of his head and his hips faltered, cock twitching as he came inside you shortly after. His hand gripped the armrest for some stability until his knuckles turned white as he just sat inside you, his head on your shoulder as he left wet sloppy kisses along the skin like he was silently praising you.

“I love you, and I missed you, too. More than you can imagine.” He mumbled against your shoulder, breath heavy, much like your own. You were panting softly, your leg fell from his shoulder with exhaustion as you just held him with one arm and you ran your fingers through his soaked hair. “Please don’t leave me again. I know I can be a lot, and I know I ain’t easy to deal with, but I need you. I can handle not having anythin', hell I could handle not putting that shit in my veins anymore, but I just can’t handle you not being around. Hurts like hell.”

“Stephen,” You sighed softly, slowly pulling his head from your shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, smiling softly as you looked over his face, “I’m not leaving you, I don’t care how hard it gets, I’m not doing that to you again I promise. Dealing with your addiction was hard, I just couldn’t do it then. But I came back because being without you was harder. And it hurt like hell, I can’t do it again.”

“God I love you.” This time he kissed you hard, smiling against your lips when he did. You giggled against his lips and gasped softly when you felt him pull out of you. But your eyes shot open with confusion when you felt his weight leave you completely. And when you sat up on your elbows and you looked down, you saw Stephen on his knees at the foot of the couch. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion but your eyes widened when you saw him grab your foot with a mischievous smirk.

“Stephen, what the hell?”

“I said I wasn't leaving this apartment until I got my face between your thighs, didn’t I? Well, I’mma do just that, you got somethin’ to say about it?”

Nope. Not at all.

Love hurts, of course it does. Oftentimes it hurts more than making you happy. But for a love like his, maybe you liked the pain. You would let it hurt, because he was worth it, you knew that now.

[hihellogoodbyebruh]

I Know What You’re Thinking, You’re On My Mind (You’re Right)

Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black!Plus Size!Reader

Summary: Y/N and Angel are in love and these are different moments in the span of their relationship.

Warning(s): Just a lot of fluffy goodness....okay some angst (it’s me lol) but mostly fluff

Word count: 2,526

AN: This is kind of a songfic, but also not really? I think of it as a bunch of drabbles loosely connected by random parts of a song. Song title and inspo from Come Close by Common ft. Mary J. Blige. The sweetest little fic I’ve ever written. Fat Black girls deserve to be loved loudly. This is for us. As always, questions, comments, and concerns are welcomed. Happy reading lovelies! xo

Smile, happiness, you could model it And when you feel opposite I just want you to know Your whole, being is beautiful I'ma do the best I can do Cause I'm my best when I'm with you

The sound of a domino being slammed on the table caused several other park goers to turn their heads and see a striking woman jumping out of her seat.

“That’s domino bitches! Y’all really thought you could beat me in dominoes? Shoulda checked my credentials mofos!” Y/N shouted, a huge smile on her face as she talked shit.

The guys around the table all groaned and huffed as she celebrated her win. Coco swore up and down that he would be the winner and Gilly was just as sure that he would be the one. EZ just wanted to play and Angel kept his mouth shut knowing his girl had been playing dominoes with her father and uncles practically all her life.

“Whatever, Y/N. You not seeing me in poker.” Coco grumbled, though he was fighting to keep a smile off his face. He was impressed.

“Well this aint poker is it? Run me my money.” She replied, rubbing her fingers together before holding out her hand.

The men all pulled out their wallets and placed the correct amount of money into Y/N’s hands. She grinned as she fanned herself with the money before draping her body across the smirking Angel’s lap.

“Oh hey there sexy. If you’re nice I might buy you something with this considerable fortune I just won.” Y/N winked.

“You my sugar mama now?” Angel teasingly asked.

“I do taste sweet so I think I fit the description.”

“Damn right you do.” He smirked, before leaning down to kiss Y/N’s lips.

Santo Padre’s mayor, Antonia Pena, had put together a community fair to help raise money for the town and uplift spirits. It was also a great way for local businesses to showcase what they have to offer. Services and items were put into a raffle that everyone who attended the event got entered into. Y/N even managed to convince Felipe to have a little booth to show off his fine cuts of meat and how they could best be used in meals.

Angel was so in awe of her. She managed to pull even his grumpy ass father out of the house and she was constantly a source of light in his life. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but he knew he never wanted to let her go. He loved her more than anything and he knew she felt the same about him. She never doubted him or made him feel inadequate. She understood even the ugly parts of him. Didn’t excuse or condone his behavior, but she understood it and always reassured him that she knew he could do better.

“Whatchu staring at?” She asked, after the kiss ended and he kept his intense gaze on her.

“My whole world.” He answered honestly and she felt herself get a little emotional.

“If you make me cry in public, I will hurt you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” He replied, nipping at her shoulder and making her grin.

I know in the past, love Has been sort of hard on you But I see the God in you I just want to nurture it Though this love may hurt a bit

Neither of them had the best track record when it came to relationships. Angel had an awful habit of doing things without thinking about the consequences of his actions. Impulsive isn’t a strong enough word to describe how he is. He runs on emotion a lot of the time. It frustrates Y/N to no end. She doesn’t operate like that. She rarely if ever acts on impulse. She thinks too much. Worries too much about how people will react to her and her actions. Her hesitance to engage in things before she’s run every possible scenario through her head makes Angel want to pull his hair out. He hates seeing her unsure of herself. He makes it his mission to help her just get lost in the moment sometimes. And she tries her hardest to slow him down and make him think more on things before he acts.

His lifestyle also guaranteed their love won’t always be sunshine and roses. The first time Angel got hurt Y/N thought she was going to pass out. The level of panic and fear she felt almost took her down. When she finally got to see him in the hospital bed, she burst into tears. Once he was healed, she tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let her. The one time Y/N was verbally and physically accosted in front of Angel, he almost shot someone right in front of her. The need to protect her almost overrode his need to keep her away from the more violent side of himself.

The silence was deafening. Neither one was ready to take the first step and speak. The whole ride back home, Y/N never said a word. Not when Angel was getting chewed out by Bishop or when several people practically gawked at her even as they tried to make it seem like they weren’t. She was silent as she went through her nightly routine and prepared for bed.

It was as she sat on the edge of the bed, preparing to slide under the covers that Angel finally snapped.

“You’re really not gonna fucking say anything?” He practically growled at her, glaring at her from where he stood at the foot of the bed. He had on his usual sleepwear of a tank top and sweats.

She sighed, “What do you want me to say Angel?”

“Anything. Cuss me out, kiss me, or I don’t know, maybe thank me?” He suggested, sarcasm in his voice at the last part because he was clearly exasperated.

She cut her eyes at him fiercely. “Thank you? You want me to thank you?”

“Yes.” He stubbornly confirmed.

She shot up from the bed and spun to face him full on. She had never been so mad at him. “Thank you Angel for causing a bigger scene. Thank you Angel for almost igniting a war between two gangs over one stupid joke. Thank you for putting yourself in harm's way and almost giving me a heart attack. Thank you so much Angel.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. It wasn’t just a stupid joke. You think I care so little about you that I wouldn’t fuck someone up for you?”

“I’ve heard way worse..” She argued, so used to minimizing her pain. Her dismissal of the incident as something trivial made him even more pissed.

“I don’t give a damn what you heard. Aint nobody gonna disrespect you in front of me and think I’m just gonna let that shit slide.”

“You could have killed him.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK.” He exploded, making her freeze and stare at him with her mouth slightly open. “You’re mine. I don’t know what kinda cowards you been dealing with before, but I don’t play that shit. There is no joking when it comes to you. Not from some hijo de puta who has the audacity to put his hands on you. He’s lucky the only thing I did was bust him in the head with my pistol.”

“Angel…..” She sighed, her eyes closing as she took in his words. She understood his point but was still uncomfortable with the methods.

He walked over to her and cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her forehead before resting his head on hers. He spoke only after she opened her eyes, “You can be mad. I already know you are, but I’m not apologizing for protecting you.”

She had to get used to being loved and protected so adamantly by someone. So often left to comfort herself and bury her hurt, it took her a while to accept Angel’s form of protection. A part of her kept her guard up waiting for him to turn it against her, but that day never came. Any violent outbursts he had in her presence were never directed at her and so she found herself trusting him whole-heartedly. Her love for him deepened as time moved forward.

You helped me to discover me I just want you to put trust in me

Y/N loved Pops and she enjoyed the family dinners with him and EZ, but she knew he was not the perfect father. He made mistakes and Angel still hasn’t completely dealt with the issues the mistakes left him with. Everything just got buried. She knew when he was starting to feel inadequate or like he didn’t deserve her because he would become even more clingy. He was already very affectionate with her, always having a hand on her back and kissing her head. She loved how open he was, but when he was going through it the touches would have a desperate edge to them. Like he was trying to prove something.

A new episode of Joseline’s Cabaret played on the tv showing off the Puerto Rican Princess’ latest antics. Y/N had on sweats and a tank top as she laid on your back and giggled at the fight on her screen. She doesn't know why she watches that show, but it was entertaining.

Her front door opened and in walked the man she’d been seeing for a year now.

“What did I tell you about leaving this door unlocked?”

“I knew you were coming over so why would I lock it?” She argued, tilting her head back to watch Angel toe off his shoes and take off his kutte.

“You’re so hard headed.” He slapped the outside of her thigh and leaned in for a kiss before lying in between her legs. His head rested on her stomach and her hands immediately began running through his hair. His hands ran over her thighs as he buried his face in her belly and just breathed her in.

“You walked right in so obviously I was right.” Her hands moved from his hair to slide down his back, feeling for any new bruises. “How was your day? Do I gotta kick someone’s ass for messing with my man?” She asked, a teasing tone to her words even though she was kinda being serious.

“I’m all good, mi dulce.” He responded, already knowing her touches were to comfort him but also give herself some peace of mind that he was with her and he was still whole.

It was quiet for a moment before Angel propped his chin on her belly and looked at her. She brought her attention from the television to him. There was a gentle look in his eyes, full of love but also a vulnerability that made her heart clench.

“You love me right?” He gripped her hips tightly as he searched her eyes for the truth in her words.

Her eyes widened at his question. “Of cour-”

He interrupted her. “Because I love you so damn much, querida. I know I’m not easy, but I try to be better for you.”

“Angel…” Her hand gently caressed his cheek as she softly smiled at him. “You are my favorite person in this whole world. You love me like no other and I’ll always love you. Never forget that. And when you do, I’ll be here to remind you.” She leaned forward to kiss his lips and felt his grip on her hips loosen.

The two shared loving kisses for several minutes before he pulled away and kissed her stomach before laying his head back down. His attention finally focused on the television. “What the fuck are you watching?”

She was unable to contain her giggles.

I kind of laugh when you cuss at me The aftermath is you touching me

“Oh, is that funny? Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Not at all gorgeous.” His words and his facial expression did not match.

“Then why are you smirking? I’m as serious as a heart attack. If you miss the ceremony where I’m awarded for my work, we’re gonna have some big problems Reyes.” She threatened, not letting that smirk get to her as it usually did. The club pulled him away a lot but some things she just needed him present for.

“Mmhm…how big?” He asked, still joking around.

“Angel!” She admonished, striking out to punch him in the stomach and making him grunt.

“You know I love when you scream my name. Sexy as fuck.” He growled, before playfully tackling her to the bed. She finally laughed as he kissed and nipped at her neck. He pulled back to look down in her eyes. “Hey, come hell or high water Imma be there. I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

The smile she flashed him was bright enough to light the darkest of nights.

I'm tired of the fast lane I want you to have my last name

Dabbing her eyes with a napkin, Y/N smiled as Angel and EZ shared a heartfelt hug after the best man speech. She knew EZ’s speech would be beautiful and she thanked him for his kind words.

“You’re my sister for real now.” He responded, making her wanna cry again but she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Angel pulled her into a side hug.

“First dance time.” He whispered in her ear, taking her hand and leading her out to the dance floor.

“How does it feel to be Y/N Reyes?” Angel asked, his eyes taking her in. She looked so magnificent in her wedding dress. He wanted to rip it off, but also he couldn’t take his eyes off how good she looked in it. If he shed some tears when she walked down that aisle, who could blame him?

“It feels like the most natural thing in the world. I’m so beyond honored to be Mrs. Angel Reyes.” She responded, her eyes filling with happy tears but she refused to let them fall. She just felt so overwhelmed with happiness. Even though he’d long gotten rid of the jacket, she loved that he actually wore a suit. He hardly ever wore one and it was a damn shame. He looked so delicious she couldn’t wait for them to get back home.

Y/N found herself really taking the moment in. Their family and friends watched them with huge smiles on their faces. She couldn’t keep her eyes off Angel for long as he held her in his arms, his hands always making her feel safe. This was her life and he was her future.

Her eyes twinkled as she asked him, “Ready for forever?”

Come close to me, baby (Yeah, love) Let your love hold you (Let me hold you tonight, babe) I know this world is crazy (It gets crazy, but I'll be right here) What's it without you? (We gon' make it, I love you, I love you, I love you)

[thestalkerbunny]

STALKY PLAYS: Legends Arceust Part 9

Are they still talking shit about my jam jams? I TOLD THEM ITS MY AFTERSCHOOL FIT. I JUST GOT HOME.

Because you sent me to the front lines to get mauled. Kind of hard to get mauled when there’s a CORPSE in the way, glad I’m Cannon fodder.

The only things that run around in those fields are Bidoofs and one Rapidash that is bigger than any fucking draft horse I’ve ever seen and it’s out for blood.

Oh Goody. Another idiot to add to my collection of idiots I can associate myself with.

Does my reputation of being a meat sheild exheed me? Yes, tis I-the Bidoof bonker, the Shinx Snatcher, the Buiezal Bruiser.

IS......Is that skill? Aren’t you supposed to be in charge of a large dangerous animal that seeks my BLOOD?

whomst? Ursaluna? Is....IS BEAR? BEAr? WE’RE IN BEAR COUNTRY JFC MAN. NOBODY IS FUCKING SAFE, THIS IS A BEAR WE’RE TALKING ABOUT

It’s cause the bear ate them. RIP Irida. But Adaman will be mourned deeply, Please stay tuned for this radio silence broadcast of nothing but ‘Pokerap’ from the 2000s.

NOT ANYMORE SHE AINT, BEAR ATE HER.

Show my strength.....YOU MEAN FIGHT A BEAR? I DONT WANT TO PUNCH BEAR? ARE WE GOING TO THROW BEANS AT IT AGAIN? BEARS ARE OMNIVORES AND VIOLENT WHEN HORNY. WHAT SEASON IS IT-I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS ALSO MOOSE COUNTRY. CAUSE WE’RE FUCKED AS A SPECIES IF THIS IS MOOSE COUNTRY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

We take an intermission from my screaming about a bear. For a Moment of Appreciation.

I love you. You are a  good girl. And you are the hottest bitch in this shit, metaphorically and literally.

You shall be called Aoi.

Now back to our paid program of trying to find a bear.

MUGGING. GOD. Jubilife ain’t even a CITY yet and I’m STILL GETTING MUGGED BY BITCHES.

Oh You.....You’re gonna do NUMBERS on certain websites.

HEY YOU’RE THAT FROSTY GYM LEADER BITCH WHO KEEPS READING ROMANCE NOVELS WHILE SHE’S WORKING.

I RECOGNIZE THAT HAIR CUT. YOU’RE GONNA PRODUCE A STUPID STUPID DESCENDANT.

Ladies. I don’t think you know whom you speak to.

Please brace your bras for a beating

[pettyprocrastination]

You don’t have to show this but do you think Omera would have gotten more love if she was white? I don’t ship it but her introduction was badass. I’m surprised that Din gets shipped with white bread so much. One he didn’t even speak to. The amount of fics for that compared to him and Omera is insane. I’m hoping they give him a Latina or black women love interest just to see people’s head explode.

I have ZERO issue with posting this publicly cause i wanna say: yes. 

I apologize this isn't very well written and very scattered about but here are my thoughts. 

PLEASE know I'm not trying to shame any specific writers or readers, I'm just sharing my opinions about the topic. 

(in this I'm also gonna be bringing up Ellaria sand because this isn't something only seen with Din, its seen with just about all his characters)

I think it comes to three things that are very prominent in the pedro fandom specifically: white readers not enjoying content written by/presenting woc because they feel like it doesn't directly project themselves, having an odd animosity/jealousy towards romantic leads of pedro characters and flat-out throwing away the actual characterization of his characters just to thirst for him. 

Now I will say we do have to acknowledge that I know people don't enjoy that he’s shipped with cobb vanth, because they only had a day of interaction but that’s also a mlm ship in the starwars universe so some people would like to see the representation where they can so lets keep that in mind. 

But at the same time I kind of see the mentality of “oh, its not for me? nvm” from fans when the possible romantic character is a person of color because they cant directly relate/project onto them. Which you see a lot with poc writers who make fics that have readers/oc’s that are specifically described as not being white and getting little to no notes. while others making fics that are so specifically for white people with descriptors as such but not acknowledging it when people say “hey you cant really preach inclusivity when this is very clearly written by white women for white women” which you see in moodboards, face claims, and descriptors such as “you blushed bright red” “your pale skin” “your blonde locks” . 

another BIG thing that has a part is this weird ass, juvenile wattpad-esque animosity female fans often have towards female characters who have the possibility of being a romantic lead for characters pedro plays. I know it sounds ridiculous to say, but so many fans do have this weird, almost jealous mentality to female characters who are romantic leads/have romantic tension with his character.

Like we see other female leads in the Mandalorian get lots more love than Omera, because they are mostly depicted as having a platonic relationship with Din. For exmaple, Fennec, cara, and peli, I've seen much more content for them than omera because its almost never in a romantic sense. 

Hell, before gina carano’s shit went public people were always posting about thirsting for cara dune+ how she and din were best buds and loved the relationship between them. 

And lets be real, the amount of fanfiction that the reader is essentially peli (a starky mechanic who befriends mando and becomes a kind figure to the child, who almost always becomes a live-in mechanic on the razor crest) is astronomical. You could literally switch the perspective and slap peli in and it’d make more sense but nobody wants to do that because they want to be with din, not imagine him with another female character cause they get weirdly threatened. 

(no shade to people who write that fanfiction im just SAYING)

Its not just mando either, it happens with a lot of his characters who have distinct relationships already, especially with Oberyn Martell and his lover Ellaria.  He says multiple times she is the love of his live, mother of three (i think) of his children and always accompanies him on his travels, when asked if he gets tired of her during their journeys he says “never. We share too much.”

a good majority of oberyn fanfiction either doesn't involve her at all, or writes her off as a bitch to pose animosity between her and the victim-reader or simply write her off as “she and oberyn don't love each other anymore wah-wah” even though she’s is quite literally his soulmate. 

He’s also often written to become suddenly monogamous upon meeting the reader, which just seems out of character given he is an openly polyamorous, bisexual man that talks about the joys of living life and loving freely quite often. 

Even with Marcus Moreno, when the trailer came out for We Can Be Heroes, I would see people make posts about how they hope he’s a widower instead of a married man cause they want him single.

Now I know a lot of this fandom is straight women so I don't expect them to suddenly enjoy wlw-reader relationships or polyships (even tho they do but only when its two dudes and one girl who is usually the reader but that’s a different issue) It comes down to the simple issues of throwing away the basis of the character just to thirst for pedro. (for oberyn at least)

I know some blogs on here that have gotten anons explaining the reason they dislike Ellaria that are the exact same traits Oberyn has: arrogance, sexual confidence ect. Its hot when he has it but if a female (often of color) has it, shes a bitch for some reason. 

Not even gonna get into Dave York, who was a moderately enjoyable character in the film but his character in fanfiction a good 80% of the time is “i like to cheat on my bitch of a wife with you” so lets leave it at that. 

Now. let me say there aint no shame in writing smut. I do it. I read it. And i enjoy it! But at somepoint you look at it and go “this isn’t even the character anymore” and find it a bit tiring. As well as the lack of attention writers of color get in the fandom where the main muse literally a latino man but whatever. 

This was a very long winded way of saying yes anon, I do think omera wouldve gotten more attention if she was white. But even then people still wouldn’t like her because she would pose a threat to their reader-insets. what are you gonna do I guess lmao