Tumgik
#don't blame us we had to
cleabellanov · 11 months
Text
A (very) different take on "I wanna be your slave" by Måneskin
Do you ever listen to music and it just…hits different?
When listening to “I wanna be your slave”  we suddenly thought of a very specific lawyer.
You probably know the song, and if you don’t, that’s fine, just hear this out for a sec.
Only the second verse in: “I wanna make your heartbeat run like rollercoasters”. Wait, what was that? Heartbeat. That’s a really important theme in the Daredevil series, and Matt has used his heightened senses to track people’s heartbeats more than once. Moving on a few verses forward: “I love you since this morning, not just for aesthetic”. Now, we all know what an aesthetic is, and how it generally refers to people’s appreciation of beautiful things. But Matt can’t exactly see the beautiful things, so that’s not the reason that he loves someone. Speaking of, right the next verse is the daring: “I wanna touch your body, so fuck!ng electric”. Sounds familiar to me! Electric, Elektra, did that make you think of any love interests?
The next section is nothing like our character…I mean, obviously. Until we meet another two beauties. First is “I wanna be your sinner, wanna be a preacher”. It’s not the meaning of the song, we know that, but if we choose to talk about this perspective, it’s in theme with “Lawyer by day, vigilante by night.”. Two statuses opposite of one another, but existing in one person. Alright, maybe we’re taking it too far, but drama loves us here.  Second, we hear : “ ‘Cause baby I’m your David and you’re my Goliath.” I’m your David. In the Bible, David was a young boy who, despite his physical weakness, managed to win the fight against Goliath: a fierce soldier. Why? Because he had God by his side. Again, this sounds familiar when talking about seasons 1 and 2, when we see him apparently helpless in front of bigger, stronger men, but still persevering.
Now we finally get to the chorus, which could not be more specific than it is (keeping this perspective in mind) : “ Because I’m the devil who’s searching for redemption, and I’m a lawyer who’s searching for redemption”. The terms vary, but the first two lines are what really lit the match here: the mention of the lawyer and the devil in the same chorus.  Maybe you don’t hear it, but we think it’s amazing. Plus, it is paired with redemption, which can also mean salvation from sin. To quote Matt Murdock himself; “Then why did He put the Devil in me? Why do I feel it in my heart, and in my soul, clawing to be left out, if it is not all part of God’s plan?” Because of course, Matthew never wants to  ( and doesn’t ) completely let his dark side out, hence the search for salvation...from himself. And I believe that would make him wonder, maybe rarely, but still wonder, which one of the two he is: the slave or the master.
Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 26 days
Text
Tumblr media
Council of lovefools.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang yanli#jiang cheng#They don't have an actual sleepover in this scene but the vibes were so sleepover coded...I had to get them cozied up.#Late night talks with friends and family are some of the best conversations.#My siblings and I used to have room sleepovers with each other (Actually an excuse to stay up and talk about runescape)#Currently my flatmates and I also have really great heart to hearts late into the night.#Pondering shit like 'What defines confidence?“ and ”Why are people terrified of letting themselves fall in love?"#All that aside; There is a really great conversation between JC and WWX here. They are so close and yet so far way from each other!#Fundamentally they *agree* about many things - but JC now has to play the role of someone more 'mature'.#His temper is reigned in and he had to take a more nuanced approach. Whereas WWX can be far more reactionary.#JC has changed to become someone more mature (or at least he is trying).#Contrast this attitude with the scene *right* after where WWX literally goes baby mode with JYL. Rolling around going “I'm Fwee years old”.#When children are hurt we comfort them with hugs and warm food and a laugh. It's not enough when you're an adult. It's not simple anymore.#WWX is stuck in the past when everyone else is shifting and moving on! It's a depression allegory (and just...actual depression)#But we also get to see how some things have stayed the same. They still bicker about soup. They still tease. They are still together.#They all care for each other very much but they are struggling against trauma and are not equipped to talk about it.#You can't really blame WWX for being so protective over JYL. But JC is right: “You don't have a say in who she likes.”#It may have started as an arranged marriage but *she* is *choosing* what her heart wants. JC sees that. WWX cannot.#The final act of love is letting go after all.
957 notes · View notes
doodleodds · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Happy Valentines, Akira. Happy Valentines, Asshole.
If you can’t read what Akechi’s secondary inner-dialogue says cause I obscured it too much behind his regular dialogue, here’s a transcription in panel order: Hello, you fucking- Ah- Hello, Akira! Fuck off, why should I tell you- Just a soda- there’s a new flavor.
I don’t want your shitty gift. Oh- haha! You’re so sweet.
I hope I choke. They’re lovely, thank you.
Like hell. Likewise. There’s no way it’s just a coincidence. Still though, it’s a funny coincidence.
#p5#akeshu#akechi goro#kurusu akira#wow- me?? posting a valentines comic... actually on?? valentines????? wack. absolutely wack#it's a short one! I purposefully tried to keep it short. it was a challenge and it still ended up being 3 pages. but i blame my canvas size#also in case u can't see what akira is holding out to akechi: theyre chocolate covered strawberries on sticks!#i saw them irl and was like oh god i want those. i am going to project that feeling on my favorite characters so help me god#and now! here we are! but my shitty-ass coloring & line quality make it hard to discern them so. sorry about that lmaooooo#ANYWAY i don't do enough post-maruki stuff so. i made this one a little bittersweet. :)#why did i put akechi's scarf in a bow? honestly i dont know! i think i saw some art a while ago that did that too and i thought it was cute#well. plus i guess there's the symbolism of 'akechi being alive and reciprocating your feelings (however involuntarily) IS a gift' part#hence that hes wrapped up in a bow. like a present. :)#also god. the first panel is supposed to be akechi's reflection in a vending machine window. I could NOT get it to look right#so for reference!!! just so you guys understand!!!!!! thats what that panel is supposed to be!!! he is NOT in fact a ghost. (sigh)#hope you enjoyed and had a lovely valentines!! for my part i have eaten nothing but sweets today and hoo boy will that have been a mistake#ALSO in terms of the audience-participation comic...hopefully coming soon. if i can ever gain the will to draw it.#but at least tumblr has polls now so i can do the audience-choose-y bit without needing to use a separate website! so thats good i guess#anyway anyway anway thanks for listening to me ramble if you made it this far! have a lovely rest of your day and hopefully see u again soon
725 notes · View notes
dragon-ashes1485 · 2 days
Text
TROP s2 ep7. A rant.
Firstly, this episode has been such a joy to watch, secondly, my heart rate is concerning.
Galadriel:
I loved the scene where she was in the cage, completely ready to die, because she wants to make things right. The scene with Celebrimbor was fantastic, at any moment I expected it to actually be Sauron, but the gentle way she talks to him and held his face like a child broke my heart. Phenomenal acting on both sides and the music was also amazing. Her kindness towards Arondir broke me. Her advising him against seeking out Adar was pure irony given her hunt against Sauron.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Galadriel sneaking around in that orc cloak was so stressful, even though we know she lives.
She seems kinder than in previous episodes, perhaps a result of no longer being around the ring? Or maybe she's just realising everything is going wrong. Either way, can't wait to see where her character goes next.
Elrond:
This guy. I loved how at first he looked ready for battle, but that he was also terribly afraid. But something seemed to switch in his character when his horse was killed and his pure anger there really shocked me. Also absolute savage for sending that orc flying.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I would like to take a moment to admire that he pauses to briefly mourn his horse.
The stunts that he performed are insane in this episode, and I love how Arondir keeps him safe throughout the later part of the battle.
"Durin will come" was such an important part to me, Elrond really looks like a young boy, as if he were sat on the beach during the third kinslaying again. I think the way that was portrayed was breathtaking.
And how he sits, looking up at Adar, completely ready to give in, broke me, he is utterly defeated. He has been abandoned once more (I know there were reasons but that's probably how Elrond feels). He then tries to stab Adar, but it is clear from where he aims for that he doesn't want to kill Adar, he wants to hurt him. His sigh when Adar got the ring kind of made me laugh, he's so done with all this crap.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I can't wait to see the aftermath of this.
Minor characters:
Camnir: so glad he was not in this episode or I would have cried.
Vorohil: please let this guy live. I will be sad.
Rian: I am sad. But absolute props to her for that savage arrow in her final moments.
Narvi: he just watched his kin be killed by his own king...let Narvi be ok.
Celebrimbor:
Ow. I hurt. Charles Edwards is an absolute gem, no he may not "look right" for Celebrimbor, but his potrayal of Celebrimbors descent was amazing.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also, props to the set team for the scene where the forge transforms into its true state.
He tries so hard to fight against Sauron, he literally cuts his own thumb off. His own. Thumb. And when he's caught by the guards, he tries so hard to explain. I was so scared they'd just hand him back to Sauron until Galadriel showed her face.
I feel like I need to mention Mirdania. She was another product of Sauron's deception. Her death was horrifying and...I just can't even. Her naivety to believe "Annatar" about Celebrimbor, a man she greatly admired, was so sad, and then for her to spend her last moments believing that Celebrimbor had killed her? Ouch.
Celebrimbor tried so hard to escape, only to do what a true lord of Eregion would do, return to the only place he could protect it from, and the place he had just escaped. His bravery really shines through, and in the end it is he who comforts Galadriel.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ps: shot on the left is fantastic.
Sauron:
Still a bitch. But now with Darth Vader powers for some reason. Probably about to destroy Alderaan. I have no more to say.
Adar:
Yea I'm expecting a full orc rebellion next episode. He doesn't care as much as he did about his children which is why they were loyal to him in the first place. Glûg stayed behind when the others went to fight so I think that says a lot. It'll be interesting to see where that goes. I also hate him now because Arondir.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Durin:
Durin's speech was so middle-earthy I loved it. And then it goes to shit. I love that he got Narvi on side. The scene where he sees Elrond again means so much to me, there has not been enough of these two in this series and I really hope ep8 rectifies that, particularly after what happened (or rather, didn't happen) on the battlefield.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love that Durin admires Elrond's new hair, as he should, it is fabulous. ALSO WHERE IS DISA. I swear if Disa dies, then I do too.
Look at this dwarf in his element. Also eff his dad, his dad is a prick.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
He's really starting to come into his own, fighting against the evil. And you can see later how much his father's actions hurt him because not only does it mean he can't aid Eregion, but his father has killed dwarves. His own kind.
Amazon, please be kind to Durin next episode.
Gil-Galad:
Not much to say except from look at this boi in all his regalia. Love it when you see a monarch actually in the fighting, makes you like them. Especially as Gil-Galad has not been the most likeable chap this series.
Tumblr media
Arondir:
Anyone needs me, I will be crying. That's all I have to say.
Overall thoughts on episode:
Battle sequence was 10/10. The effort put into this show amazes me. Fantastic acting from everyone, namely Charles Edwards, Charlie Vickers, Robert Aramayo and Morfydd Clark (ok fine, everyone). Well done to all the stunt horses as well, such good horses. Bear McCreary's soudntrack shone this episode, including so many characters themes. Also the last ballad of Damrod in the credits!
I am both anticipating and dreading next episode. What will happen with Celebrimbor? And what of Khazad-Dum? How will Adar use the ring? And will we need a box of tissues?
31 notes · View notes
noirandchocolate · 18 days
Text
The Yiga Clan isn’t a cult in my honest opinion.
They’re more like a crime syndicate.
If a crime syndicate was also an oppressed minority group subjected to a genocide in the distant past and continued marginalization in the present as they’re forced to lurk at the edges of and mostly outside society to eke out a living through theft and violence while the “good” members of the same minority who accepted the harsh terms of cultural genocide at the hands of the very people they served get to stand next to every other race that reviles them and call them “evil” and “traitors” because they seek justice against the divine-right monarchy that betrayed them first and have forsworn the goddess who never once deigned to help them.
They're not monsters to be mowed down, they're people. People who engage in genuine and understandable strife against authority figures who uphold systems of inequality.
...
Anyway, that's what I think.
(Edit: For even more of me rambling, see the notes.)
#yiga clan#master Kohga#((ps i only said 'crime syndicate' as a joke i don't mean that sincerely. i mean the main part of my post sincerely.))#((<--clarification bc tone on the internet sometimes doesn't come through))#anyway headcanons are headcanons but here's mine: they're not a cult and they're not indoctrinating anyone#they have beliefs about the royal family and hylian nobility and the kakariko sheikah sure#and those beliefs certainly don't line up with what those groups ('the good guys') think about themselves#but i personally don't think that makes them a cult? again imo#they also love their masters kohga but why shouldn't they? everybody play age of calamity current kohga deserves their love#he's a silly guy with flaws but he cares about his people. this is not properly shown in botw bc he's barely in it.#and it's easy to say 'they revere this looney tunes-level dork whose boss battle was a cakewalk? they must be stupid/indoctrinated!'#but uh...why couldn't they just genuinely love him and think he's cool? why's that so hard to believe?#straight up he IS cool. he just had to deal with Hylia's Chosen Hero who has constant access to a hammerspace arsenal and a Sheikah Slate#((ie kohga's own ancestors' magitech that they were forced to give up or die/be exiled for!))#he himself can clearly *use several ancient Sheikah techniques* without a slate *including magnesis* in the BotW battle!#the yiga clan did nothing wrong (they’ve done many things wrong but can you blame them?) ((you can but yet. can you??))#((this is what we call nuance. and morality not being black and white.))#((ANYWAY THAT'S WHAT I THINK))#((people are obviously allowed to think otherwise and that’s why I said ‘in my honest OPINION’ on this post! but that IS my opinion))#legend of zelda#kidk headcanons
31 notes · View notes
deservedgrace · 9 months
Text
"Idk what kind of Christians YOU were around but I've never seen ANYTHING like that in the 50 years I've been a Christian" Wow! Great! Good for you! I don't give a fuck! I'm still severely traumatized!
106 notes · View notes
Still blows my mind the disparity between the Eng and the JP localization of Sonic Frontiers
So in the og English Tails expresses that he needs to part ways from Sonic so he can grow into a hero on his own, right? That he can't grow by being with him?
But like. The director of the game, who worked with Ian Flynn, worked on the JP localization and it's like. You're telling me that when they localized that scene for the Japanese audience
That it was about Tails learning that there are things only he can do? That instead of concluding that he needs to part ways from Sonic and become a hero, he just comes to realizes the ways in which he and Sonic fill each other's gaps? He learns that he already is on equal footing with Sonic. The two of them are just heroes who save people in different ways?
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic frontiers#tails the fox#miles tails prower#unbreakable bond#personally I think that jp localization story fits Tails and the two of them better than rehashing out the 'tails neeeeeds to split from#sonic and become a hero' again#It gives us the confirmation that they're partners who are already growing together and individually#it gives us a better resolution to Tails' character song too#It recognizes that they don't need to be the same kind of heroes for Tails to be a hero in his own right. It recognizes that Tails doesn't#need to be exactly like sonic to be by his side#which again follows up his character song better#Ugh what I would have given to be a fly on the wall during the story work of Frontiers#this is also not the only character story that's completely different despite being on similar topics between these two versions for#the record#It's just. God watching jp frontiers makes me wish that THAT was what they wanted to present to the english speaking audience too#Tails to me doesn't need to be the guy who is never allowed to achieve his goal and finish his growth#Especially since we had years of games with Sonic and Tails as the main protagonists‚ I think at this point Tails has earned his spot at#Sonic's side#He doesn't need to forever chase being exactly like Sonic. Even in the Sonic Adventure games he wanted to grow on his own‚ knowing he#couldn’t stand beside Sonic as a partner if he only pursued being exactly like him#He wanted to get out of his shadow#and to me jp Frontiers recognizes that he already has. it has him and sonic come to a meaningful conclusion#Eng frontiers just tells us he needs to try again.#It's fine if you like eng frontiers for the record I just think Tails deserved better than that#i just be ramblin#Also this is not an opening to talk to me about how much you dislike Ian Flynn. Though I don’t like the story of Eng Frontiers I don't blame#him 100% for what we got
15 notes · View notes
wonder-worker · 3 months
Text
"It is too easy to dismiss [Leonor of Navarre] as an overambitious schemer who would do anything to obtain a crown, shedding the blood of her own siblings and her subjects in order to attain the throne. However, a deeper investigation of her long lieutenancy and ephemeral reign shows a woman who fought tenaciously to preserve her place but also worked tirelessly to administer a realm which was crippled by internal conflict and the center of the political schemes of France, Aragon, and Castile. She tried to broker peace, fight off those who opposed her, repair the wounds caused by conflict, protect the sovereignty of the realm, and keep the wheels of governance turning. Leonor was not always successful in achieving all of these aims but given the background of conflict and the lack of cooperation she received from all of her family members, bar her loyal husband, it is a huge achievement that she survived to wear the crown at all. Many writers have argued that Leonor deserved the troubled lieutenancy, personal tragedies, an ephemeral reign, and a blackened reputation, basing their assumption that she committed a crime that cannot be [conclusively] proven. However, a more fitting description of her would be that of a resolute ruler who successfully overcame a multitude of challenges in order to survive in a difficult political landscape and gain a hard-fought throne.”
-Elena Woodacre, "Leonor of Navarre: The Price of Ambition", Queenship, Gender and Reputation in the Medieval and Early Modern West, 1060-1600 (Edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz)
#historicwomendaily#leonor of navarre#15th century#Navarrese history#my post#I mean...the crime can't be explicitly 'proven' but Leonor DID have the means motive and opportunity; she had the most to gain;#the timing was incredibly convenient for her; and most contemporaries believed she was responsible.#She *did* ultimately act against her brother [Carlos] and sister [Blanca]#Though of course the fact remains that:#1) The final responsibility lies with Juan the Faithless: he was the King; the one in power; and the one who rejected Navarre's succession#Blanca herself - while criticizing Leonor and Gaston - placed the ultimate blame on their father as her 'principal...destructor'#All three siblings were reacting to an unconventional disruption in the system caused by Juan & their actions should be judged accordingly.#2) I am hesitant to believe accusations of 'poison' as a cause of murder given how that was commonly used to slander controversial women#and given how it contributed to the dichotomy of Blanca as a tragic beautiful heroine and Leonor as her scheming ambitious sister#3) Even if Leonor DID commit the crime (imo she was at the very least complicit in it) she is still worthy of a reassessment.#I don't think it's fair for it to define her entire identity#Because it certainly did not define her life - she lived for decades before and would live for decades after#It was on the whole one of the many series of obstacles and challenges she had to face before she succeeded in ascending the throne.#The fact that she died so soon after IS ironic but it is in equal parts tragic. And we don't know what Leonor herself felt about it:#Did she think it was a hollow victory? Or did she feel nothing but satisfaction that she died as the Queen of Navarre? We'll never know.#Whatever the case: given her circumstances the fact that she survived to wear the crown itself was an achievement#It's funny because Woodacre parallels Leonor to Richard III in terms of 'blackened' reputations for 'unproven' (...sure) crimes#(thankfully she admits Richard has been long-rehabilitated; what she doesn't bring herself to admit is that he's now over-glorified)#But I don't think this parallel works at all for the exact reasons she uses to try and reassess Leonor#Namely: Richard was the one in power. He was the King. The ultimate blame for what happened to his nephews was his own.#and moreover: Richard's actions against the Princes DID define his reign and were exactly what provoked opposition to his rule.#Any so-called 'rehabilitation' that doesn't recognize and emphasize this is worthless#also if we want to get specific: the Princes were literal children who did nothing and were deposed in times of peace.#Carlos and Blanca were adults with agency and armies and Leonor's actions against them took place in the middle of a civil war#So ultimately I think Leonor's case is fundamentally very different and I don't think her comparison holds well at all
19 notes · View notes
qcomicsy · 5 months
Text
Lately I've only been wishing to grab a comic about my favorite character and just have a genuinely good time reading it.
#I can't remember the last time I took a Deadpool comic and genuinely had a good time about it#I hate the direction they took with his character and it's so disrespectful that I don't even talk about I don't even think *any* Deadpool#fan genuinely talk about it because were so tired of his kids characterization we all just collectively decided to ignore whatever hell#marvel through at him#but rant aside#it's just–#I am not sure if comic books are fun anymore I don't even know who I am making content for half of the people on my notes haven't touched#comic book and aren't pretending to do so#people who read the comics tend to be so mean or bitter about it that even if you follow most will be angry about something#comic or fan related and I don't know if I can blame them but following that is draining#and as much as I was trying to be a good sport about it you make a post about comic book characters and#and the overwhelming response is 'I don't read the comics but'– following up by a take about them that doesn't even recognize any core#aspect of their personality that you can't even grasp you can't even recognize them#you can't recognize them on tue cannon you can't recognize them on the fannon#and no matter how engaging you try to make content about the fandom people just–*refuse* to read it. And then– they *refuse* to tag fannon#content as fannon#and *refuse* to leave either#Yes we are all having fun but how can a character tag be so so filled with people who have no idea of who they are#how can a character can be properly loved and take care of and have content that respect them if no one makes any attempt to *know them*#and it's disheartening because *comics* are supposed to be fun *fannon are supposed to be fun*#but for aome reason it's really *really* hard to have fun here anymore#I created this page to share my love for the characters I care about and see more content of people who care about them too#but I can't even *find* people who care about them any more and when I do they're all so angry and upset– And I *cant even blame them*#I just... I don't know why I am doing this anymore or for who I am doing this anymore#sorry to vent but it's been a while since I haven't been had a genuinely good time™ enjoying comics#I don't think even people who write those comics enjoy those comics or care about those characters#Sometimes feels like everyone is projecting on those characters rather than *writing about them*. And I can't find them anymore#fanfics used to be about love petters to characters who you love#nowadays seems like a competition to see who makes more funny words with tropes pre-written since 2007#vent
36 notes · View notes
redysetdare · 11 months
Text
every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.
#text#half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep#instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all#because majority of people don't even know what that is#this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw#this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media#and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane#you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media#stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities#im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up#when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team#i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community#now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals#and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place#it's exhausting#like the aphobia is coming from inside the house#i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.
58 notes · View notes
andreal831 · 5 months
Text
Let me get this straight, in TVDU:
We blame amnesic Elijah, who erased his memories seven years before Hayley's death, for Hayley's death when he didn't even know who she was and didn't actually kill her.
But we don't blame Kol for Davina's death when he was the one that actually drained her of blood because the ancestors were controlling him.
And we don't blame Freya for torturing and kidnapping Keelin because she did it for family.
And we don't blame Klaus for nearly killing Caroline twice because it was romantic when he saved her from his own venom.
And we don't blame Klaus for nearly strangling Hayley to death because he was just scared of being a father.
Just wanted to make sure I understood where the fandom stands on this. andrea831 metas
18 notes · View notes
dazais-guardian-angel · 6 months
Text
I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.
While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.
I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.
There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.
But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.
If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....
Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.
I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.
But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.
18 notes · View notes
eddiemunsonsmum · 1 day
Text
Just saw this comment on a story posted a month ago.
Tumblr media
*cries in Eddie Munson Solo Series no one wanted to read, interact with or request for*
No shade to the person that commented this on their own fic if you recognize it. It's not their fault. I'm not mad at them. More crying in the tags.
#and no I didn't tag the solo series like I normally would because it's not about THAT. It's not about trying to get people to read it#It was just really ouchie to see the same concept I wrote 2 years ago get triple the notes in ONE MONTH.#and double the notes of my solo series masterlist in general in one month vs 2 years of my stories sitting there rotting#Then I see people saying they need more solo Eddie and I'm just here like my dudes I begged for requests. BEGGED. But bc I wasn't#/have never been a popular writer people don't want it from ME. It's like omg we want THIS but not like that. Not from you.#Can't help but let it get you down when nothing has changed in 2 years. It's not like I worked my way up and have the interaction now#that every other blog I used to commiserate with back in the day is getting currently. Fandom isn't a competition but it's not fair either#and I really struggle with that a lot of the time#Also yes I will concede I should be happy with the notes on the solo series because they are the highest of all the work on my page but#they're still nothing compared to what some people have just hours after posting a new story.#I saw someone complaining the other day that there are less new stories in the fandom than ever 1. That's simply not true. 2. Even if it wa#can you blame writers for giving up when readers are checking the same popular blogs over again or reading the same 5 tropes the same#2 pairings over and over. The same series? Over and over. Ignoring everything else and then complaining that their faves don't post enough?#That the popular writer with the incredible series (that rightfully deserves interaction) hasn't posted a new dad!eddie or rockstar!eddie#drabble in ages meanwhile there are writes out there pouring their souls into dad!eddie and no one reads it. There is so much rockstar Eddi#smut out there that it could sustain a brand new reader for an entire year before they needed a new fic#Idk man. I'm just feeling so defeated. I write for fun now. But there was a point in time where I desperately tried to build a platform by#offering requests and writing a lot of things I would not otherwise write to try and gain traction on my page and every time I see another#food fucking fic get hundreds of notes I get so sad that I wrote that stupid Melon fic because I had people in my life that told me#they would be excited to read it and for what? One of them still talks to me. The others moved on so fast. Most didn't even reblog it.#Some of them have since written their own food fucking fics that got triple the notes of my OG. Again. No shade to them. I don't own the#concept. It's just disheartening and fucking sad above all else. How hard I tried to get people to LIKE me and my stories. 😂#Just sad hours in general tonight my guys. Going to go and pour the bad feelings into Aftermath and then maybe make a bad life choice and#pour all my savings into an ipad#YES I KNOW first world problems. I know. That's why I try not to talk about it bc it seems so petty considering the state of the world#But you can't help what gets you down#EMMs Journal#EMM's Journal
6 notes · View notes
kqluckity · 3 months
Text
if my brain worked properly I'd be able to say this better, but since I'm an idiot idk how to explain why, but i think genuinely that the only two enchanted blades that were forged using a human (or human adjacent) soul are enten and magatsumi
#the kyonagi theory is that. a theory. they think he used their bodies but he clearly didn't need them considering he made enten after the#after the war. and chihiro was with him he would've noticed if he had a human chained to the forge#while the soul and essence of a being/human is a bit more metaphorical and also for enten i bet he used his own soul#and maybe that of their fishes too? maybe he used them as sort of catalysts and that's why he could hear them talk#but idk#i have no explanation for magatsumi tho i have no idea what soul he would use for that... if the enemies weren't humans#maybe he could've used the soul of one of them#and that's why it's the strongest and can be used remotely too#but again. it's just speculation and I don't really remember if he's said what the other blades do#and also enten can be used remotely considering chihiro could see the inside of the storehouse through kuro's eyes which seems#seems similar to what happened with magatsumi last chapter#so it would make sense for them to have been made in a different way than the others#anyway while i do think that after the war kunishige felt guilty for making the blades I don't think he'd experiment on people#like that. maybe I'll be proven wrong shortly but for now alle the (admittedly biased) info we have on him suggests that he wouldn't#at least. he wouldn't do it KNOWINGLY#especially because he does say that the blame of how the blades are used also falls on the maker doesn't he? time to reread i guess#in the end i rambled in the tags instead of the post lmao whatever#kagurabachi#spoilers#and my own theory idk
9 notes · View notes
unheavenlybody · 3 months
Text
x
my relationship w my parents & sister has given me such a distorted perception of myself idk what's real anymore or what i'm actually like as a person or what i am justified in being hurt by. cuz they say all these horrible things abt me when they're angry and i'm like well if they all more-or-less believe it then it must be true. they rarely say anything positive about me, so maybe there's nothing. but when i am with other ppl, friends, what they tell me is different. they see good in me & value in me and are so much more forgiving when i make mistakes. i don't rly know what to do with that. it feels like they've made some kind of mistake in caring abt me and it makes me feel like a fraud. i have plenty of faults that i am willing to accept and work on, but am i really as bad as my family makes me out to be?? does that mean my family are the only ones capable of seeing the "real me," the ugliest parts of me cuz they know me better (do they even know me better, though??) or do they just bring out the worst parts of me bc of all of the baggage of our past, or a combination of the two... idk what the point of this post was other than i'm confused :-)
8 notes · View notes
iniziare · 3 months
Text
Tag drop: Dorian Pavus
#dorian pavus. [ he says we're alike. too much pride. once i would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. now I'm not certain. ]#dorian pavus: ic. [ you find joy in it not shame. it shows. / why be ashamed? power should be respected. not swept under the carpet. ]#dorian pavus: inquiries. [ stop talking like you're waiting for applause. / what? there's no applause? ]#dorian pavus: countenance. [ i'm here to set things right. also? to look dashing. that part's less difficult. ]#dorian pavus: introspection. [ selfish i suppose. not to want to spend my entire life screaming on the inside. ]#dorian pavus: meta. [ you inspired me with your marvelous antics. you’re shaping the world. how could i aspire to do any less? ]#dorian pavus: little notes. [ living a lie. it festers inside you like poison. you have to fight for what’s in your heart. ]#dorian pavus: etc. [ you can't call me pampered. nobody's peeled a grape for me in weeks. ]#dorian pavus: magic. [ don't your spells whisper things to you? what is and could be? music in the mind of strange faraway places? ]#dorian pavus: inquisition. [ we're going to get lost and starve to death. aren't we? a glorious end for the inquisition. ]#dorian pavus: tevinter. [ despite appearances. we care deeply. about everything. we have no reserve. not in war and not in love. ]#dorian pavus: felix. [ even in illness he was the best of us. with him around you knew things could be better. ]#dorian pavus: gereon. [ we used to talk about how we could make real change in the imperium. then he gave up. he stopped trying. ]#dorian pavus: halward. [ i only wanted what was best for you. / no. you wanted the best for you. your fucking legacy. ]#dorian pavus: aquinea. [ her blame was cold and smothering. never spoken but always present. he couldn't face that. not yet. ]#dorian pavus: inquisitor. [ you have too many people asking you for everything under the sun. i won't be one of them. ]#dorian pavus: solas. [ you startled me. you're always so... nondescript. / please speak up. i cannot hear you over your outfit. ]#dorian pavus: varric. [ what do you think sparkler? ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire. / taken i win either way. ]#dorian pavus: cullen. [ gloat all you like. i have this one. / are you sassing me commander? i didn't know you had it in you. ]#dorian pavus: cassandra. [ blue scarf? why would i be wearing such a thing? / It's a painting. work with me. it'll be fantastic. ]#dorian pavus: cole. [ you say you're handsome all the time. am i? i can't tell. / you're all right. might want to rethink the hats. ]#dorian pavus: vivienne. [ i received a letter the other day dorian. / truly? it's nice to know you have friends. ]#dorian pavus: blackwall. [ point is. you should let yourself off the hook. i know bad men and you're not one. ]#dorian pavus: sera. [ you magic me: i'll put three arrows in your eye. / now we can live together in peace and harmony. ]#dorian pavus: bull. [ no qunari would accept a tevinter mage unless it was a ruse. when should i expect a knife in the back? ]#dorian pavus: corypheus. [ one of yours? / one of mine? like a pet? a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood? ]
11 notes · View notes