#don't ask why my formatting always fucks up after posting

[thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels]

Let me stay small, please (let me wait a little longer)

let me wrap my teeth around the world - series masterlist here

pairing: poly marauders x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1.4k

genre: fluff, comfort

warnings: slytherin reader, you grow and you change and you can't really stop it, the world spins on and all that, you can go back to the past but no one's there anymore, guys I promise it's actually very lighthearted I'm just going bonkers rn

a/n: it's autumn and I'm so happy this is my time this is my moment. I'm posting this from my phone and I'm so scared that the formatting is fucked pls tell me

A cool breeze blows by and you know that if you could see Sirius's face, if your head wasn't resting against his shoulder with your eyes fluttered closed, you'd be able to see the concerned frown that you're sure is tugging at his lips. His jacket was draped over your shoulders ages ago and he pulls at it now, tucking you further into the warmth of it as you press against his side.

"I won't freeze, you know," you murmur, admittedly half asleep. You hear him scoff, another gust of wind blowing through and rattling the leaves on the trees, sending them spiralling down in flashes of oranges and reds down to where you're sitting.

"It's getting colder," Sirius points out, and your slow, sleepy state makes it difficult for him to embody his usual loud, snippy tone. "It won't do any of us any good if you catch a cold right as the semester's starting, sweet thing."

"Well," you drawl quietly, letting your eyes flutter open so that you can tilt your head back and look up at him. "You'll do my homework for me if I do get sick, won't you, baby?"

"I will not," he sniffs indignantly. "And neither will Remus, before you even ask him. You know he'll just bring your books to bed and help you from there."

"Whatever," you say as you wave your hand dismissively and blow a puff of air from your cheeks. "James will do it for me."

"Well, probably, yes," James's chipper voice makes the two of you look up as he and Remus join you, settling against the huge oak tree that you and Sirius had been leaning against. "But what am I doing for you, love?"

"My homework," you clarify. "But only if I get sick."

"Why would you get sick," Remus frowns, eyeing you suspiciously. 

"Hm, no reason," you shrug absently, and Sirius huffs rather dramatically at your dismissal. 

"Well, good," James plows on. "Now that we're all back together, there's no time for any of that." He flicks you ever so gently on the forehead as he speaks, that familiar teasing tilt colouring his voice as he grins. You roll your eyes and relax further into Sirius, knowing that James is likely already planning some sort of prank or party or god knows what else.

"Speaking of," Sirius chimes in, bumping his shoulder a bit to get your attention as Remus settles on his other side and curls into him, leaving James to sit in front of you and pick leaves and grass blades off of your pants for you. "I haven't heard anything about Slytherin's first party yet - what's that about, no housewarming this year?" 

"Well, we were talking about it," you muse, shrugging a bit as the three of them stare at you and blink owlishly at your words. "It's our turn to host the Halloween party this year and you know we always go all out for that. I don't know, we just thought it might be a bit much to do the two back-to-back." Sirius sniffs at your words, pursing his lips like he's trying not to say something that he knows will egg you on as Remus leans forward to look at you better.

"Well, I wouldn't know…" he begins, and your eyes narrow at the teasing mirth that's entered his voice. "But last year Gryffindor hosted the Halloween party and we still managed to do both, but I guess that's different." You stand up abruptly at his words, brushing stray leaves off of you as you begin to stomp back towards the castle, the three of them scrambling to stand amidst their laughter and chase after you.

"Love, where are you going?" James calls as he jogs to catch up to you, standing in front of you so that he can walk backwards as you continue to march on.

"Oh, I just have a party to plan - you know, Slytherin housewarming party and all that, lots to do," you say flippantly, scowling as you hear Remus laugh and Sirius cheer from somewhere behind you. You do slow your pace, though, as you walk through the courtyard, letting the three of them fall into step with you once more.

"You should let me help with the playlist," Sirius offers smugly, but you just shove him with your shoulder in response, his jacket still hanging off of your frame.

"Make your own playlist - don't you have our own party to plan?" you quip. He just laughs, though, as Remus slings an arm around your shoulders.

"And make sure it's not on the same night as ours, my love," he says helpfully, something mischievous twinkling in his eye as he pulls you closer. "We wouldn't want any competition with attendance - somebody's bound to get their feelings hurt."

"You three, most likely," you tease back, but James reaches from where he's walking behind you to pinch at the back of your thighs, delighted when you make an embarrassing sort of sound and turn briefly to smack him on the shoulder. 

"Really, though," he adds as you turn for one of the many winding staircases heading down to the dungeons. "We need to be able to go to both, so just -"

"We'll do it the weekend after yours," you say in defeat, stopping to spin around in the deserted stairwell to look up at him. "Happy?"

"Very," James grins, leaning down to press a quick little kiss of victory to your lips as Sirius frowns.

"That's not fair," he chimes in. "That means you get to see ours first and plan ahead."

"I think I've already seen yours first, babe," you say pointedly, making Remus snort and bury his face in your hair to hide a laugh while Sirius flushes crimson and turns his head away.

"Anyway," he barrels on. "Why not just do things the same way we did them last year?"

"Because…" you shrug, watching as James pats a hand rather consolingly onto Sirius's head. "It's not last year. This year's different - it's new and everything's changing and we might as well follow suit."

Things…  quiet down a bit at that, everything settling as you shift on your feet and Remus tangles his fingers with yours in a nervous sort of habit. Outside of the stairwell, other students can be heard laughing and gossiping about the new academic year and everything that they think will come with it. 

"It doesn't have to," Sirius says stubbornly. "Why can't things just stay the same?"

"I don't know," you say softly as James runs a hand through Sirius's hair. "I think things change even if we don't want them to. I'm not sure we have much control over it."

Sirius looks at you a bit imploringly for a moment before letting his eyes flit over the other two - at the messy curls of James's hair where it's grown more over the summer and at the height of Remus as he stands taller than he did last year. Sirius is sure, even if he doesn't want to admit it, that he'd find changes in himself as well if he dared to look in a mirror. 

But then he looks at you and, although you've undoubtedly changed as well, your eyes still look at him with love and patience and trust, and he feels his shoulders drop just a bit in defeat - and maybe, just a little, in comfort, as well.

"Well," he huffs, crossing his arms and pretending to scowl at you even as he eyes soften. "Just don't steal any of our party ideas."

"Like I'd need to," you quip back, spinning on your heel and continuing down the spiralling stairs. "If anyone's doing the stealing, it'll be you lot taking ideas from us."

Three indignant voices ricochet off of the stone walls as they chase after you, shouting and carrying on about the insult of it all. You step a little surer, though, and laugh a little louder, and as Sirius catches up to you and drops a gentle kiss to your forehead, you're not sure you mind the changes. You're not sure that it matters, really, how much the world spins outside when everything right here is just the same as it always has been. 

[queenimmadolla]

𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐍𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃

(dad!eddie x mom/pregnant!reader)

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟏 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟐 ─ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟑 • more of the pennyverse here.

Summary: . . . After your eventful labor and delivery, you and Eddie can only wait to see what fate holds for your newborn son as you two finally decide on a name. warnings: angst, a whole lot of angst, near death experience, difficult pregnancy, early labor, preterm birth, talk of loss of infants, birth defects, happy ending.

a/n: we have finally reached the rainbow at the end of the storm, my friends. wrapping this up feels so bittersweet, i'm going to miss all the interactions! i don't think i've gotten to talk to this many people here before and i hope it doesn't stop after part three. from the bottom of my heart, thank you. and a HUGE thank you to my partner in crime, @kitmon, for beta-ing this (all three parts) bad boy for me. while Wayne's World is finally over, i'm excited to continue writing for this little family. on to the next thing! word count is 4kish. happy reading! and for the people mad about the long post, sorry, had the 'keep reading' tab on but it kept fucking with the format and eating chunks of it. you're gonna have to scroll. let me know what you think? ◡̈

While Eddie was out like a light, your doctor had also dropped in for a visit to inform you you’d be staying at the hospital for at least another day, which you weren’t too excited about. You were prescribed medication to take during your stay and so long as you felt good, you were allowed to roam about, meaning you could visit your son. 

  Wayne had also dropped by, with a bag he’d packed full of Eddie’s clothes and things he thought he would need. He hadn’t wanted to wake Eddie up, either. After making sure you were okay, he ended up taking Penny home with him. You’d debated on letting her stay, but you figured Eddie would be vehement on staying with you and she’d want to play with her toys soon. Wayne had promised to bring her back for visits.

  Then it was just you and your sleeping husband. Eddie slept through the morning, past the afternoon, and into the evening. You were just about to run out of patience—eager to see your baby—when he finally woke up.

  “Wha’ happen?” He rasped out, voice groggy and eyes squinted almost shut as he stretched, letting out an inhuman grunt. 

  “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty,” you glanced at the clock on the wall, “or goodnight, I guess.”

  “Night?” He followed your gaze, eyes shooting wide open when he realized how late he’d slept. “Oh, shit. It’s seven.” 

  “I’m aware,” you were entirely amused, “Your breakfast, lunch, and dinner are on the counter.” You pointed over to the counter and cabinets lining the wall.

  Eddie was starving, he tossed the blanket aside to get up and made quick work of all of his meals, to your surprise. 

  Watching Eddie eat was always so entertaining. He ate so chaotically, messy like a gremlin. And not just when he was starving. 

  “Where’s Pen?” He asked through a mouthful of food. 

  “With Wayne and Maude. He stopped by and dropped off some things for you.” You pointed this time to the duffel bag resting near his makeshift pullout bed. 

  The burger you’d got him for lunch was clenched in his teeth, the wrapper around it preventing its contents from falling out, as he rifled through it, pulling out a clean shirt, a pair of sweats and some boxers.

  “Why didn’t you wake me?” He asked, again with a mouthful of food as he unbuckled his pants, pushing them down his legs. 

  You watched as he struggled to get his feet out of them without using his hands, aggressively shaking them off his right ankle. He cursed under his breath once they were off and you couldn’t help but elate in the fact your husband was still a dork.

  “You were tired, snoring up a storm—’’

  “—I don’t snore.”

  “—And looking like you were in a coma.”

  Eddie snorted as he devoured the rest of his burger before he was able to go put on the clean boxers (you’d made sure to lean forward so you could get your eyeful) and yank on the sweats. Then he pulled his shirt off and you responded by clapping your hands appreciatively.

  “Now, give me a little twirl,” you swirled your finger downward, with a smirk and Eddie laughed as he threw the shirt at you.

  “Knock it off, six week waiting period still applies to you so you’d better not tempt me.”

  You whistled as you pulled his shirt off your head, holding it to your chest, “You might have had the dinner but I definitely got the show.”

  “You’re incorrigible,” but he was still grinning as he yanked the clean shirt over his head. 

  You waited until he was comfortable, with his food, on the pull out before you informed him, “My doctor came by, too. Said I’m stuck here for another freaking day.”

  Eddie pulled the fry he’d been about to eat away from his mouth so he could tease you with a pout. He was actually glad, you’d be surrounded by medical professionals so if for some reason something happened, they’d be able to take care of you. Plus, he’d be by your side every day until then. This was his last day off, but he’d call Norm in the morning and let him know he’d have to take the next couple of days off. He’d saved up more than enough paid time off at the shop, something he’d chosen this particular one to work at for offering. 

  Of course, when he’d gotten the gig as a teenager, he’d only been concerned about using that time to try out a new strain or micro dose. 

  You rolled your eyes and slumped back into your bed, “Jerk. She also said I could move around. After you finish eating, will you take me to go see him?”

  Fuck, Eddie would take you right now. He was about to set his tray aside when you hissed. 

  “Eat.”

  He held his hands up in defeat, but finished off his food a little faster. 

  While he finished eating, you’d gotten out of bed (yes, he almost had a heart attack and you had to threaten him to keep him from hovering) to freshen up. By the time you were done, so was Eddie.

  You’d dug around his bag until you found one of your favorite shirts of his and put it on, under the stupid hospital gown, along with a pair of his sweats.

  And you hadn’t wanted to, like really, really didn’t want to, but you allowed him to push you to the NICU in a wheelchair. It was the only way you were allowed to leave your room. Why didn’t you want to? Because Eddie insisted it was a game, full on running to propel the wheelchair, even spinning you around in it, when he wasn’t pretending to crash into things. It was fun, but you were sure the hospital staff didn’t appreciate it.

  When you finally got to the NICU and the nurse placed your baby in your arms, you knew everything you’d been through was worth it. Every single second you got with him was precious and worth the possible sorrow that may follow. 

  “He does look like Penny,” you agreed, lifting him up to press a kiss to his forehead. He was in better looking condition than you recalled, not pasty or almost blue, and breathing. You remembered the shock of fear that had shot up your spine when he hadn’t been after you’d pushed him out.

  He was small, smaller than Penny had been for obvious reasons, and while it made you sad that you hadn’t been able to keep him in you to develop more, you were still happy to have him.

  “Although, I think their noses are different,” you mused and gently stroked your finger over the small tip of his nose, tubeless since he’d been removed from his incubator to be placed in your arms. He scrunched it up at the contact, and you were delighted with his response, “he’s got your’s, Eddie.”

  “You think so?” Eddie was taken with that nose scrunch, absolutely entranced. He’d seen you do it in the wee hours of that very morning.

  “Oh, yeah. He’s perfect. I wonder whose eyes he has.” Selfishly, you hoped a pair of big, brown baby cow eyes, like his father’s and sister’s, were under the eye cover.

  “You can take it off,” The nurse hovering nearby informed you, he was handling another baby but he’d heard your comment, “he’s done with his phototherapy. The lighting in here isn’t harsh either, so he’ll be just fine.”

  He stopped what he was doing to hand you a couple of wipes, “Just moisten the edges and it will come right off.”

  You did as instructed, Eddie hovering over you in anticipation. Once the edges were saturated with the warm wipe, you carefully peeled the eye mask away, heart squeezing as your baby boy blinked them open. Well, that was a stretch, he blinked them into a squint.

  He glared up at you like that for a few more moments, before his blinking became rapid and then they were finally open, forehead scrunched up in curiosity as he stared, little mouth just barely parted. 

  “Hi,” you giggled out, absolutely ecstatic to see a pair of familiar dark eyes peering up at you. 

  “Guess that answers that.” Eddie’s smile was soft as he watched you press another kiss to his head, your fingertips mingling with the fluff on his head. He couldn’t help but notice how enthralled his son looked with you, little fists curled near his face.

  “You are so perfect,” you cooed down at him, finger stroking his cheek, he blinked at the contact, gave your hand some serious side eye for surprising him then returned his awed stare to your face. “I love you so much, my little grump. You’re gonna be okay, yeah? ‘Cause you’re just like your daddy, aren’t you? Gonna make it out even when you’re dealt the shorthand.” 

  Was Eddie Munson about to cry again? Yes.

  “Perfect, perfect, perfect,” You enunciated each one word with a kiss to his head, “We still have to name him.”

  The morbid image of a potential name for his son, etched into stone came to the forefront of his mind and Eddie felt a stabbing pang in his chest as he forced the image away.

  “You know, I technically chose Penny’s,” you drawled, craning your head to look up at him, “I think it’s only fair you name him. Since you won’t let me name him Eddie Jr.”

  Eddie stared back at you, gaze intense before it shifted down to the little bundle in your arms, at the face peeking out from the blankets.

  He hadn’t wanted to name his baby after him, wanted him to be more than just a namesake. With Penny, well, her name meant something to him. Unconditional love. 

  It didn’t actually translate to that, but it had belonged to the one person in his life—other than you—who showed him affection, emotion. 

  The baby’s eyes moved away from your face, catching Eddie’s stare and something about it prompted a thought, a fact really. 

  Eddie was wrong. He was so, so wrong in his thought process. The weight of the realization almost had his knees buckling as he stared back at that little face.

  For the first time, Eddie thought of his son’s name. Etched in stone or not, it was the only one worthy of him.

  You’d let the nurse know and he retrieved your son's birth certificate for you. You loved the name so much and since Eddie had been the one to decide on it, you insisted he write it on his birth certificate as well. It had to be the neatest thing Eddie had ever written.

  It hadn’t been easy to let the nurse take your baby back, away from you and you had teared up, afraid it would be the last time you’d see him.

  Eddie had been upset too, in the last few moments you were allowed with him, he’d let his little guy hold onto his finger and reminded him of their earlier talk. He had to make it through tonight, so he could go home with them. After a few parting kisses, tears and reaffirming your love to him, he was whisked away to his incubator and you and Eddie made the sullen trip back to your room. 

  He held you in your bed while you both cried. 

  And cried.

  And cried.

  Eventually, the two of you fell asleep, the sheer emotional exhaustion too much for either of you. 

  When you woke up, it was to sunlight streaming through the cracks in the curtains and the nurse taking your vitals. Eddie was still lightly snoring into the side of your head and just as the nurse finished, both Dr. Eisenberg and Dr. Houseman entered your room.

  “Good morning!” Dr. Eisenberg chirped. Dr. Houseman silently made herself comfortable leaning against the counter.

  “Morning,” came your groggy reply as you shook Eddie awake. He peaked an eye open to glare at you but the moment he caught sight of both doctors, he snapped awake.

  “Sorry to disturb you two, we just figured you’d want to hear the news. Mrs. Munson, although I know you must love your hospital bed, today’s looking like your last day here. Which means I want to hear about you doing lots of walking today. I’m gonna check on you again tomorrow, but if all is well, you’ll be discharged then.”

  Halle-freaking-lujah. 

  Dr. Eisenberg stepped back, nudging Dr. Houseman’s shoulder enthusiastically to take her place.

  “I believe this is the first time we’ve met, Mrs. Munson,” she regarded you with kind eyes before acknowledging Eddie, “Mr. Munson. Nice to see you’ve gotten some rest.”

  Eddie tried not to feel personally attacked.

  “I come bearing news of your son. He made it through the night, with no issues. He’s out of phototherapy, responding well to feedings—that’s very important—and while his breathing is fast, it’s also a good sign. It doesn’t leave him breathless, so it may just be his excitement at being in the outside world and getting to use his lungs. He doesn’t tire more than would be normal for a newborn, either. We’re gonna keep him a little longer, let him develop a little more and ensure the hole starts to heal up, but I give it no more than two weeks before he goes home.”

  The amount of weight lifted off both your shoulders and Eddie’s was almost disorientating. Your baby made it. You’d get to take him home! You wanted to cry, jump around, do backflips, but you settled for leaning into Eddie, who was blinking an awful lot.

  “Alright, I think we served our purpose. We’ll let the two of you have some peace.” They both gave you grins as they made their way out of the room, though Dr. Eisenberg stopped, effectively halting Dr. Houseman as well, “By the way, LOVE the name you gave him. Really fits the little guy.”

  Dr. Houseman nodded in agreement before she was ushering Eisenberg out of the room.

  You held each other again as you cried, this time tears of joy and relief.

  Wayne stopped by again, this time with Penny and a bag of necessities meant for you (packed with care by Maude because Wayne was too embarrassed to go through your drawers). She’d begged Eddie, literally wrapped herself around one of his legs until he agreed to take her to see baby brother. He hadn’t wanted to, would much rather have them meet at the trailer when the two of you could finally bring him home and not when he was still in an incubator, patched up to machines, but he relented.

  Wayne kept you company while he took her to see the baby. She hadn’t asked any questions about the babies, only stating the stork must be getting ready to take them to their mommies and daddies because they were in boxes. 

  When he’d pointed out her brother, she couldn’t look away, placing both hands on the glass as well as her forehead to stare at him. 

  “My little baby potatoes.”

  “He’s not—alright, sweet pea.”

  “I getta keep him, huh, daddy?”

  “Yeah, you get to keep him.” Eddie found himself blinking away tears, comforted to know he wasn’t lying to her, didn’t have to be obtuse to avoid telling her the truth anymore. 

  “Okie dokie, les take ‘em home.”

  Eddie chuckled and pulled her a little ways from the glass to press a kiss to her cheek, “He has to stay here for a few more days, but he’s gonna come home.”

  “Pomise?”

  “I promise.”

  She eyed him suspiciously, “You won’t fuwwet ‘em?”

  “Forget,” Eddie corrected but Penny didn’t amend the word like she would normally do when reminded of the proper pronunciation. She still had a little difficulty with her ‘r’s so if a word had the letter in it and she said it right the first time, great, if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be fixing it, “And that was one time, sweet pea, I came back for you like a minute later.”

  Penny maintained an impressive, nonstop commentary about all the things she was going to teach her baby brother to do during the walk back to your hospital room. At some point, she’d asked Eddie to swing her the rest of  the way, which he scoffed at because that would make him look ridiculous to the staff.

  Needless to say, by the time they got back, Eddie was sure the staff would be making fun of him.

  Wayne hadn’t asked to see the baby, he was content knowing the little fella would be coming home with you. He still had that image of him in the truck stuck in his head, and he’d rather replace it with a baby in a car seat instead of an incubator. He and Penny stayed a while. She took your doctor’s walking orders (that Eddie foolishly mentioned in front of her) seriously and demanded you walk back and forth around the room with her. It was no problem until it just got annoying but you entertained her anyways. 

  Then all your friends had shown up, waiting strategic intervals of time to slip into your room as small groups so the nurses wouldn’t notice. They’d brought tons of gifts and Eddie had to sneak them to the NICU entrance, a few at a time, so they could see your baby through the glass.

  After what a c-section was had been explained to the boys, Dustin’s respect for you skyrocketed, which you hadn’t thought would be possible considering his high opinion of you in the first place, and Lucas thought you had to be some kind of superhuman to survive that, he was amazed. Poor Will and Robin looked like they wanted to throw up when Steve’s girlfriend explained how some of your insides had been briefly removed to get to the baby.

  It had been Nancy and Jonathan who got the group out of the hospital, and just in time. Your main nurse had come to check on you with all the suspicious hallway activity. Wayne and Penny left when visiting hours were over and you convinced Eddie to sleep on the bed with you, you always fell asleep fast when you got to cuddle up to him and you needed the night to pass already so you could get discharged. 

  You were impatient the next morning, Eddie watched on in amusement as you got ready, fluttering about the room until you finally slipped into a shirt and some comfortable pants with a high waistline (nothing was pressing into your scar until that bad boy was healed), then put your hospital gown over them and climbed into bed to disguise your getaway outfit. 

  Your plan was of course foiled when Dr. Eisenberg arrived and had you walk across the room a couple of times. She’d been amused with your expectations, but stuck to her promise and a nurse was wheeling you out after you were discharged.

  Wayne, Penny and Maude greeted you when you arrived home, and while you were pleased to be in your own clothes and trailer, you wanted your baby with you. 

  “What happened to the spot?” You’d asked Wayne, at some point while Maude and Penny were showing Eddie a new dress Maude had made for her.

  You were referring to the stain you were sure your water breaking had left—unfortunately, rather bloody as well. 

  “Maude got rid of it. Took ‘er a couple ‘a days but she managed to scrub it out, ‘s why she couldn’t come see you, reckon she figured you wouldn’t wanna see it.”

  The widow from a couple of trailers away—and Wayne’s lady love—was shy as hell, but you were positive you loved her. 

  You and Eddie made sure to visit your son as often as possible. While Eddie worked, you spent most of your mornings and afternoons at the hospital, learning from the nurses about his improving condition and how to care for him. You’d learned he was fed a couple of special formulas, though they still encouraged you to breastfeed. On day seven of his hospital stay, you got to nurse him for the first time. 

  It was difficult, he wouldn’t latch properly no matter how hard you or the lactation consultant tried at first. It took him a while to get the hang of it, and it had been mildly uncomfortable for you, but eventually he did start latching. Day eight was spent encouraging him to latch each time. You knew you’d have to feed him those special formulas, but that was the extent of sharing him with a bottle you were willing to go. It was 50/50, and they’d informed you as soon as he caught up in development, and started gaining weight, the need for the formulas would lessen and you wouldn’t have to share him.

  GOOD.

  On day nine, you and Eddie got to bring him home. It hadn’t been completely planned, Dr. Houseman had suggested it the day prior, hadn’t guaranteed it and hadn’t been expecting you to have a carseat and anything else you might need for the ride home, but when she mentioned that he was good to go—though he’d have to be seen regularly to ensure his heart was in healthy condition and healing—Eddie bolted to retrieve the car seat he’d had waiting for his little dude and came just about running back.

  “Don’t look so sour, baby,” He cooed as he tucked his little baby in and secured the harness around him. His son’s face was scrunched up, glaring at Eddie while he buckled him in. Clearly, he wasn’t a fan of the car seat, but he changed his tune when Eddie gently squished his cheeks between his thumb and index finger, the baby immediately relaxed, eyes wide as he stared up at his daddy. Then Eddie was tucking a blanket around him, and lowering the visor to protect him from the cold air.

  It was wonderfully symbolic how peaceful the drive home from the hospital with your son had been compared to how chaotic the drive to the hospital, with him, had been. 

  Wayne, Penny and Maude were waiting for you again. Penny practically attacked Eddie’s legs as soon as he made it through the door with the car seat. 

  “Whoa, sweet pea! Careful, daddy doesn’t want to step on you.”

  “I wanna see ‘em!”

  “You will,” You promised as you shut the door behind you. Wayne and Maude were perched on the couch as Eddie placed the car seat down and squatted so he could carefully take the baby out of it. Penny’s energy seemed to disappear, she was stock still, watching as Eddie lifted the visor, removed the blanket, unbuckled the baby and finally pulled him out. 

  Maude’s reaction was instant, sounds of adoration slipping past her lips as the baby scrunched his back while Eddie lifted him, tiny arms pulling up near his head. 

  Wayne laughed, relieved to see the baby looked nothing like he had when he’d first seen him. In fact, if he didn’t know better he’d think Eddie brought home the wrong one. 

  “You wanna hold him?”

  “Bring ‘im ‘ere.” Wayne held his hands out and Eddie carefully placed his newborn son in them.

  “Well, ‘yer in better shape, ain’t you?” He commented down at the little guy. As soon as those eyes were on him, he knew there had been no baby mix up. He was Eddie’s kid.

  “‘Shoot, another one with ‘yer eyes?” Wayne chuckled and Eddie’s chest puffed with pride. His next joke was directed towards you, “He’s lookin’ like Penny did when she was a baby, you sure you ain’t a copy machine?”

  “Not anymore,” You scoffed, smiling at the sight as you leaned into Eddie’s side. He slipped an arm around your shoulders, hand moving to the side of your head as he pulled you even closer to kiss.

  “He’s a cute lil�� fella. What’s his name?”

  Eddie smirked against the top of your head before he answered him, “Wayne.”

  “Hmn?” Then, without looking up from that little face, Wayne figured Eddie hadn’t heard him and was asking him to repeat himself. “‘Said what’s his name?”

  “I heard you, his name is Wayne.”

  Wayne looked up at the two of you then, eyes wide and unbelieving.

  “Wha—?”

  “His full name is Wayne Edward Munson,” you had to make sure they knew Eddie compromised and was willing to allow you to use his name as his son’s middle name, the smile on your face was smug. “Wayne.”

  Wayne cleared his throat, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. 

  “‘S really…” He trailed off, throat thick as he swallowed, head nodding a couple of times. 

  “I didn’t always imagine myself as a family man growing up,” Eddie confessed, “but when I did, I imagined having these crazy, weirdo kids who I’d love and who would love me back. Teach them to play the guitar, how to appreciate good music, play Dungeons and Dragons with. Was already afraid I’d mess up, though. And they’d stop loving me.

  “When we had Penny and she,” Eddie pressed another kiss to your head, “suggested we name her after my mom, I thought it was perfect. Naming the baby I was afraid would one day stop loving me after someone who never did was perfect to me. I was struggling real hard on names for him, didn’t think Edward was worthy of him. Then he looked at me. In that moment, all I could think about was how much I loved him. I couldn't help but wonder if that was how you felt when you saw me.”

  Eddie wasn’t the insecure kid he used to be—well, not as insecure. He’d been unsure of it at the start of his stay with Wayne, the older Munson was never very vocal with his emotions, though he had on occasion told Eddie he loved him. It wasn’t a machismo thing, Eddie was sure Wayne just didn’t know how to express emotions. It was how he’d been raised. Regardless, Eddie knew Wayne loved him. 

  Loved him when he was a baby, born from the woman he loved and not even his own son. Loved him when he saw him sporadically throughout his early life. Loved him enough to try and fight to keep him when his mom died, though the law gave him back to his dad. Loved him when a social worker showed up on his doorstep with him in tow, a broken shell of a boy. Loved him in those few awkward first interactions as they learned how to be around each other again. Loved him when he started getting in trouble, when police officers started escorting him home, when he’d had to pick him up from the police station, when he knew he was selling things and partaking in a business Wayne didn’t particularly approve of, loved him through it all. By blood, he might have been an uncle. By all other means, that man was his father. And his name was the only name worthy of his son. No rock star could compete. 

  “So, we named him after the other person in my life who never stopped loving me.”

  Eddie could see the shine on Wayne’s eyes as his mouth set in a firm line. 

  Finally, Wayne managed to rasp out, “‘Ye’ah, you’re right. Not for one secon’.”

  Not for once second had he stopped loving his boy. 

  Wayne looked down at little Wayne, whose stare was no longer scrutinizing, “You got ‘yerself a good pair ‘a parents. ‘Couldn’ta asked to be born in a better family.”

  “Uhm, ‘scuse me, I fuwwot his name. What’s he called?”

  “Wayne, baby.” Eddie chuckled and Penny leaned against Maude’s legs, craning forward to get a good look at her brother.

  “Waynie. I like it! Can I put ‘em in my stoller now?”

  “No, Penny.”

  After the flood of emotions that your living room became that morning, Wayne and Maude had stuck around for a couple of hours before they said goodbye to Penny and baby Wayne and made their way home. So, about a three minute walk, tops.

  You settled onto the couch, next to Eddie who had Penny curled on his lap, with baby Wayne, ready to nurse him as Eddie searched for something to watch. You’d just gotten Wayne to latch when Eddie made a pleased sound and you glanced up to find out what had amused him.

  On the tv was an episode of Saturday Night Live, specifically the beginnings of one of Mike Myers’ most popular sketches as Eddie’s favorite character from the show. 

  “Just in time,” At the mention of his son’s name on screen, Eddie glanced down at the baby attached to your boob, whose gaze flickered to the side to meet his as if he was aware of gaining his dad’s attention. 

The corners of Eddie’s lips twitched as his big eyes stared at him, “Yeah, yeah. I know. Welcome to Wayne’s World.”

[torturedtypewritersdept]

proclivity - part four - savior complex

✯ pairing:

ex!bff!rafe cameron x diabetic!kook!fem!reader

✯ summary:

at one point in time rafe was your best friend. can summer romance erase all the damage he's done?

✯ [4.1k] warnings:

mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, heartbreak, diabetes lingo, injury, ghosting, fluff and fear, domestic violence (not rafe), mean!ex!jj etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) trying out a new format with this post, hope you like it!

As you pulled away from the kiss, panting, you searched Rafe’s eyes and only found solace in them. Why did this feel so right? Was it the greenhouse or the beauty of the plants surrounding you, the hues of green in the leaves that towered over your figure? Was it the romance or the pouring rain? You couldn’t put your finger on it and then, his blue eyes bore into yours and you could. It was Rafe. It was the man of your dreams kissing you at the college you’d both attend. You’d dreamed about this moment forever, thinking it would never really come and yet, you had your guard up, wondering when things got tough, if he’d run away again. 

“Rafe-” 

He kissed you passionately again, cutting off your words, both hands cradling your cheeks like his life depended on it. You chuckled.

“Rafe..” 

You placed your hands against his chest, pushing him away.

“What is it, sweet girl?” 

His tone was kind. It stung. You wanted him as close as you could get him, his sweet voice replaying over and over again in your ears forever.  

“I-, w-we can’t do this.” 

You stuttered out.

“What do you mean?” 

The hurt washed over his face and you immediately regretted the words that left your lips. 

“I’ve wanted this with you forever and-” 

Your words were cut off by Rafe once more, his pleading eyes, begging you not to let the moment end.

“Then, have it with me. I’m right here.” 

Before your brain could register its next move, the words were spewing out of your mouth at an aggressive volume.

“You have a reputation with girls, okay?” 

You said forcefully.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He asks, accusingly. Though, the hurt laced in his blue eyes makes your chest tight. 

“It means I can’t be another one of your conquests. I can’t be another girl at a party or in your truck or on your lap in a golf cart if you’re not going to care about me next week. I’ve been there before, I can’t do it again.” 

You blurted out without thinking, really. But, you can’t deny the words – you meant them. The truth was, you had been that girl, minus the sex, you’d been his girl and then one day, like whiplash after a car accident, you’d woken up and he was gone. You knew you wouldn’t be able to handle that again.  

“Is that what you think of me?” 

His head hung low as he whispered. Before you were able to reply, your thoughts were quickly shoved away when the dinging of your phone erupted from within your backpack that still sat on Rafe’s shoulders. His features softened as yours fell. 

“You feel okay? Is that the tone for your blood sugar?” 

He asks gently. 

“It always does some stupid shit at the worst conceivable time.” 

He could tell you beat yourself about it, your illness. He wondered why, no one could help being sick. Who had made you feel like it was a problem? You looked down at your phone as Rafe handed it to you and realized your blood sugar was fine, you perked up at that. But, mentally cursed at Topper’s contact flashing across your screen. 

“I’m okay, Rafe. Don’t worry. It’s just Top.” 

You gave him a reassuring smile and he returned it. The words from moments ago seemingly forgotten, at least for now. 

“Hello?” 

You asked, clearing the phlegm from your throat. 

“Hey, where are you guys?”

He questioned. 

“We’re in the arboretum.” 

You replied with the hint of a smile. 

“You and that fucking greenhouse, I swear. Okay, well. Let’s get a move on. It’s pouring rain and I’m ready to go home.” 

Topper’s attitude had hurt you more than usual and your smile quickly faltered. 

“O-okay. We’ll be there soon.” 

You spoke into the speaker, trying to keep your voice even as you ended the call. 

“Everything okay?” 

Rafe asked, hesitantly. 

“Yeah, Topper just being Topper. He’s ready to go home because of the rain.” 

You let out a defeated chuckle, eyes tracing to your feet. Rafe had heard what Topper said. You and that fucking greenhouse. Rafe never understood how Topper could be so tone deaf, such a fucking idiot. Why was loving beautiful things so wrong? 

“Okay.” 

Rafe nodded and led you out of the front door of the greenhouse. This time there was no hand on your back or smile from him and you had never craved his warmth so much. There were no words exchanged between the two of you, only your guilt eating away at your core and before you knew it you were back at the Jeep. Rafe didn’t open your door for you and at that revelation, you swallowed thickly and tears lined your eyes. You had ruined your one chance with him. Topper and Kelce were taken aback by the sudden rigidity between you and the Cameron boy, but knew better than to say anything about it. They only assumed the happiness was short lived and you’d go back to hating each other. The car ride was long and agonizing and after two hours of radio silence from Rafe, you were in shambles. So you did what any teenager with no self respect would, you texted him. 

Y: Can we talk? 

R: for what 

Y: i’m sorry 

R: why 

Y: I was mean and you didn’t deserve that, just got scared 

R: scared? Of what? 

Y: you. 

R: why would you be scared of me? 

Y: because I know what kind of hurt your absence can bring. 

He didn’t respond to the last text and you took that as the final nail in the coffin. You had fucked this up. This entire day was perfect until you opened your big fat dumb fucking mouth and now the intimacy, the closeness, the Rafe you had so desperately prayed for was slipping out of your grasp. You could almost cry, but you knew if you started you’d never stop. Brought out of your thoughts by Rafe’s gruff voice, you looked to him as he spoke to Topper. 

“Just go to Y/N’s house instead of mine.” 

Your face fell and you started to spiral, he had taken back his dinner invitation and you could no longer hold in your tears, scared he was going to go away again, this time maybe permanently. You simply couldn’t bear that pain again.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” 

Topper questioned, worry lacing his features as he took in the look on your face. 

“Yeah, m’fine.” 

The tone of your voice made the hair on the back of Rafe’s neck stand up. It was flat, in a broken, numb sort of way. He hadn’t heard you use that tone since the night he took Maggie Mills up to his room after a party. He never understood why that had upset you so much. He looked at you, watching as tears threatened to spill from the corners of your eyes and you stared at the floorboard of Top’s car. You couldn’t feel anything, numbness over taking your body. He placed his hand on your shoulder, begging you to look at him, but your eyes remained locked on the floor. You couldn’t face him, not now, not after you had ruined things with him, again. You were brought away from the sadness by the ding of your phone. It was Rafe, again. 

R: please tell me what’s wrong 

Y: isn’t it obvious 

R: no, please tell me 

Y: you don’t want me at dinner now. You don’t want me.

R: what? 

Rafe began to put two and two together and visibly winced at the fear he had struck within you. 

R: I just wanted you to have fresh clothes. I’m sorry, I should’ve said that. Please don’t cry, pretty girl. I’d never do that to you. 

You didn’t reply to his message, but he looked on as your body slowly began to relax and reached over, wiping the tears from your cheeks and giving you a subtle smile. You returned it. Rafe had always catered to your anxiety, but he hadn’t been around you in so long, he almost couldn’t recognize it when it overcame you. Topper pulled into your driveway soon after and you were quick to rush inside, slipping into a new dress, adorned with pale pink lilies, and grabbing extra insulin before making your way back out to the jeep and climbing in next to Rafe. You quickly unzipped the bag that sat in between the two of you and shoved the insulin inside and you looked down at your phone, checking your levels one more time. They were still fairly normal, reading at 85 mg. Rafe looked over your shoulder, making sure your levels were okay and he was pleased when he saw they were. He knew it had been a long time since you’d eaten and you needed real food soon. As the sound of Topper’s brakes bringing the car to a halt met your ears, you locked eyes with Rafe who hopped out of the car almost immediately. 

“Well boys, this was fun. I’ll see you two soon.” 

You say with a false cheek. 

“Bye, beautiful.” 

Kelce muttered, dragging out the “L” on his last word. Topper simply nodded his head in your direction, unsure of what was going on between you and Rafe, but too tired to ask questions. By the time you had said your goodbyes to both boys, Rafe had made his way around to the side of the car and opened your door, helping you out with the grasp of his hand. 

“Thanks, Rafe.” 

You whispered, looking at the ground, still too spooked to look him in the eye. 

“No problem, pretty girl.” 

He smiled in response to your gratitude and the both of you made your way into the house. 

“Rafe, is that you?” 

Rose called to him as you both entered the foyer. 

“Yeah, it’s us.” 

He called back to her. She quickly emerged from the kitchen, meeting you both in the huge room, giving her greetings and ushering you over to the table where you were met with your father’s disapproving eyes. 

“Honey! It’s so good to see you. I was wondering where you were all day.” 

Your mother chimed in, walking over to you, placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Hi, mama. Yeah, Rafe, Topper, Kelce, and I left early this morning to tour UNC. We made it back just in time for dinner.” 

“That’s wonderful, sweet girl! Did you love it?” 

She questioned. 

“Yes. Rafe took me to the greenhouse.” 

You smiled, but it quickly faded as you looked over at him, remembering the events that followed. He didn’t meet your gaze. 

“Rafe! Thank you, that’s been my girl’s dream for quite some time, being in that greenhouse, with you especially.” 

She smiled brightly in his direction and gave him a wink. Your cheeks flushed, embarrassed at your mother’s outburst of too much fucking information. Rafe let out a low chuckle and your brother, Brock, opened his mouth to speak. 

“Hopefully she wasn’t too much trouble for you, today, Rafe.” 

He spoke, his tone demeaning. 

“She’s never any trouble, she’s my best girl.” 

Rafe responded in an even, joking tone, in an attempt to diffuse the situation before his temper got the best of him. His hand made its way to your thigh, giving it a reassuring squeeze. When did your brother become such a dick and what gave him the right to speak about you like you weren’t in the room? The subject quickly changed as Rose and Ward began asking you and Rafe about the campus and your majors. 

“So, Y/N, what are you thinking of majoring in?” 

Ward questioned. 

“I’d like to go into English with a minor in entrepreneurship. I’d like to take some business classes, too, I think.” 

You responded. 

“That’s wonderful! Business and English are two things that will help you so much in the working world.” 

He replied, truly excited for you. He’s always been one of your favorite adults. 

“Yeah, thank you! I think so too.” 

You replied with a sweet smile. 

“You know, you could always intern at Cameron Development this summer and get some hands on training with Rafe, Brock, and I.” 

He suggested. 

“Thank you, Ward. I seriously would love that!” 

You smiled his way, unsure if you’d take him up on his offer. It would look good on college applications and it would mean more time with Rafe, those were both good things, right? 

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, y/n. I don’t know that you could handle the workload, what with your condition and all.” 

Brock said quickly with a sneer. You cast your eyes immediately down to where your hands sat in your lap. 

“What about you, Rafe?” 

Your mother questioned him, ignoring your brother. It hurt that they oftentimes bowed down to his asshole nature, not wanting to fight with him. Sometimes you just wanted to feel fought for.  

“Dad and I have been talking about me going to business school and running the company eventually.” 

Rafe replied quietly, still unsure he had heard Brock correctly. Because the guy he knew loved his sister, he wouldn’t be treating you like this, especially not in public. 

“Of course! You’re a smart young man, it’s only fitting. You have a bright future ahead of you.” 

She replied with a cheerful tone. 

“Thank you, that means so much coming from you.” 

He replied with a kind smile. He always loved your mother and her sweet words meant the world to him. The familiar beep of your glucose monitor brought your attention away from the conversation and toward your phone in your lap. Rafe watched you intently, reading the levels over your shoulder. 80mg. ‘That can’t be good’, he thought. 

“Are you alright, sweetheart?” 

He whispered into your ear and you met his eyes. 

“I’m not feeling good, but I’m fine. I need to eat soon.” 

You responded, reassuring him. Even though you knew your levels were getting dangerously low. 

“How much longer on the food, Rose?” 

Rafe questioned. 

“About 5 minutes.” 

She smiled, letting him know it would be right out. Thirty seconds passed and the alert on your phone beeped loudly once more. You averted your gaze from your brother’s eyes and let out a sigh, but that didn’t stop his mouth from opening. 

“Not this shit again.” 

He spoke, boldly. 

“What did you just say?” 

Rafe’s tone was coated with venom, as he gave your brother a tight lipped smile, urging him to repeat himself, daring him to. 

“I’m just tired of the same shit everyday. She needs sugar, she needs insulin, blah, blah, blah. Everything is always about her.” 

He gritted out. 

“Oh you’re tired of it?! How the fuck do you think she feels?” 

Your father interjected, keeping his voice low, his kind honey-colored eyes becoming dark at Brock’s words. He’s clearly had enough. 

“Well, I’m sorry, this might not be my place. But, I don’t think she’s thrilled about it either and here she is dealing with it. It went off and she sighed, all she did was fucking sigh. She didn’t demand attention from everyone in the room. All she did was fucking sigh and you know what? She’s allowed to do that. She’s allowed to be frustrated about something that is wrong with her body. You could show some fucking compassion.” 

Rafe growled. 

“Rafael Joseph Cameron! Language!” 

Ward spoke Rafe’s full name, his tone laced with warning. 

“What dad?! You can’t let him talk about her like that!” 

He said, exasperatedly. 

“Ward, it’s really okay. He deserves to be bitched at.” 

Your mother spoke, sticking up for Rafe. 

“She’s a type one diabetic, not a fucking drug addict and i’ll be damned if I let you sit here and treat her like one.” 

At Rafe’s words the table fell silent. His father knew what the weight of his words carried, and now, so did you. Luckily for you, Rose served you your food first after the meal was done cooking and your sugar quickly went back up to normal levels, which was a giant relief to Rafe. Most of the dinner was silent after the conversation fizzled out. The words of your father affected you more than you cared to admit, yet not as much as Rafe’s. Rafe stood up for you in a room with two men that scared the shit out of you, all without batting an eye or worrying about a consequence. He stood up to his father for you and you knew you couldn’t just let that go. The conversations quickly became about business and Rafe watched as you mentally checked out, which probed his next question to you.

“Why don’t we go out to the dock, sweet girl?” 

You simply nodded in response, thankful to him for saving you from listening to your brother’s bullshit business plans any longer. Rafe helped you out of your chair and pushed it in behind you, leading you out the patio doors with his large hand placed on the small of your back. You quickly made your way to the dock on the other side of the cool grass, taking your shoes off and plunging your feet in as you sat on the edge of where the wood met the water. 

“You okay?” 

He asked, his cerulean eyes taking in your form. 

“Yeah, I am. Thank you for sticking up for me in there.” 

You gave him your best smile, even though he could see right through it. 

“How long has he been treating you that way?” 

“Since the day I came home from the hospital.” 

You whispered, but Rafe heard you, loud and clear. 

“Can you tell me about it? I mean, what happened when you got sick.” 

You swallowed thickly. Talking about your illness was easy but talking about it with Rafe was just different. He wasn’t there when you got sick and you resented him for it, but you also resented yourself for not giving him the opportunity to be. 

“It happened the Thursday after we stopped talking. I was with Topper, we were at the club, just swinging some golf balls and dicking around. He was with me everyday that week just to make sure I was handling things well and I wasn’t, so I’m glad I had him.” 

You said, with no particular emotion. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He whispered out, hanging his head in shame. 

“You don’t have to apologize Rafe, I’m not here to make you feel guilty. I just-, if I’m gonna tell you what happened, I have to tell the whole story.” 

You replied, trying to reassure him. 

“I know and I want to know everything.” 

He stated with a sheepish smile, nodding his head for you to continue. 

“I told Top I wasn’t feeling good that morning, but I thought it was just because I was hungover and when we went to play golf, I figured I’d be fine. But when we got to the third hole, I noticed that I was kinda nauseous and dizzy and my hands were shaking. I heard Top ask if I was okay before I hit the ground but I couldn’t register anything. Evidently he had called an ambulance because I woke up in the ICU three days later. They said I had a seizure and went into diabetic shock, which is when we found out I had type one.” 

You finished with a swirl of anxiety in your belly. 

“As much as it pains me to say this, I’m thankful you had Top.” 

Rafe smiled into his joke. His distaste for the closeness Topper shared with you had always been prevalent, but especially after the two of you had gone your separate ways. 

“Yeah, the funny thing is, I laid in that hospital bed for days willing myself to call you but I couldn’t do it.” 

You said suddenly. 

“I wish you would have.” 

Your eyes flickered up to meet his immediately. 

“I couldn’t do that to you. You decided you wanted a life without me in it and I respected that even if I didn’t understand it. I never wanted me being sick to be the reason you came back, I wanted you to come back because you wanted to. But it hurt like hell that I had to walk through that without you.” 

Rafe quickly pulled you in and wrapped his large hand around the back of your head, pooling your hair in his hands. He hugged you tightly and suddenly it felt like all the broken pieces of your heart had been mended. 

“I’m so sorry, sweet girl. Please, forgive me.” 

His voice broke as the words stumbled out of his mouth. He felt like there was no air in his lungs and all he knew was that he needed your forgiveness like he needed to breathe. He pulled back, holding you by your shoulders, looking to your eyes for confirmation of the hatred he was sure you felt for him, yet he couldn’t find it. 

“I forgave you a long time ago, Rafael.” 

You spoke softly, giving him the sweetest smile you could muster up. 

“Y/N, I need you to know that I’m never going to leave you again.” 

He said so sure – more sure of anything than he has ever been in his entire life. 

“I appreciate that Rafe and I hope it’s true. It’s just so hard for me to trust that.” 

You replied candidly. 

“I know and I’m going to work everyday to prove to you that you can trust me.” 

He responded, willing to do anything to prove that to you. 

“I hope you do.” 

He nodded, giving you the reassurance you needed. 

“So, uh, where’d you learn to kiss like that?” 

He asked, sheepishly, as he rubbed his hand against the back of his neck - one of his many nervous habits. His voice came out small and awkward and it made you laugh. 

“I don’t know, Cameron. Where did you learn to kiss like that?” 

Your eyes met, as you nudged his shoulder, which made him smile. 

“Lots of practice.” 

He replied and you visibly winced at the words that you had spoken to him earlier. You have a reputation with girls, okay? The hurt that laced his irises when the words left your lips would haunt you forever. 

“Hey, listen, about what I said earlier-” 

You began, but didn’t get to finish. 

“It’s okay, I deserved it.” 

He replied, his head hanging low. You gently lifted his chin, so his eyes met yours.

“You didn’t, not from me.” 

You said, very matter-of-factly. 

“What do you mean?” 

He asked, scrunching his eyebrows together. 

“I mean, I’ve always been your person – the one you tell anything to. It isn’t fair of me to project my shit onto you, so I’m sorry. That’s not what I think of you, Rafe and I need you to know that. I just got scared.” 

You replied, laying your heart directly in his hands. 

“Why are you so scared, sweet girl?” 

He wasn’t trying to pry, he just genuinely didn’t understand what you had to be afraid of, surely it wasn’t him. 

“I just-, I went through some things with JJ.” 

He nodded, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together in his brain.

“I see. You know you can talk to me, right? I mean – if you want to tell me, ya know, I’m the guy you tell.” 

He replied, assurance laced in his blue orbs. 

“Yeah, I do and I will when I’m ready.” 

He nodded, taking your answer as gospel. He knew you’d tell him when you were ready. He quickly changed the subject.

“What days are you working this week?” 

He questioned. 

“Uh-, Tomorrow, Wednesday, and Friday. Why?” 

You asked, confused. 

“Is it okay if I come see you?” 

He questioned, voice sheepish, unable to make eye contact with you in fear of your rejection. That’s what all this has been about to begin with hasn’t it – the years away from you, the fear that he just wasn’t enough. 

“You can always come see me. But, why do you want to hang out at the club?” 

You smiled in his direction, noting how respectful it was for him not to just show up. 

“I am a member, you know?” 

He joked and flush filled your cheeks. Bold of you to assume he'd be there for you, you thought. He must have noticed the change in your demeanor, because he grabbed your hand and lifted your chin. 

“I want to spend time with you, silly girl and I can only gain your trust by spending all the time I can with you.” 

You smiled at him. 

“Thank you, Rafe. That’s sweet.” 

You looked in his eyes, thanking him for more than just his sweet words and he had no idea. 

-

You walked into the club at 4pm the next day, spotting Rafe immediately as he sat at the bar, waiting for your inevitable arrival. You were shocked to see him, even though he said he’d come. Truth be told, you hadn’t taken most of what Rafe Cameron said seriously in the last few years, but him showing up meant something to you. It meant more to you than you cared to admit.  After you clocked in and made your way behind the bar, your eyes met his. 

“Well, hey pretty girl.” 

He flashed you that Rafe Cameron smile and it was over. You were done for. 

“Hello, Rafael, to what do I owe this pleasure?” 

You said, smiling back at him. 

“Just wanted to hang out with my girl, that’s all.” 

He replied cheekily. You rolled your eyes playfully.

“She’s working.” 

You retorted, a fun-loving tone soaking your tongue, dispersing from him to check on your tables. You glanced his way a few times, only to be met with eyes studying your form. Your co-worker Emily made her way over to you, noticing his gaze. 

“So, why is Rafe Cameron being a creepy stalker and staring you down like a serial killer?” 

You chuckled, Emily or Em as she was known by her friends, had quite the knack for being dramatic. 

“Em, he is not a serial killer or creepy!” 

You yelped, rolling your eyes at her. 

“Whatever you say, angel. But, I better not see your face on the side of a milk carton any time soon.” 

You jokingly rolled your eyes at her and made your way back to the bar. You wanted to chat with Rafe for a bit while the club was slow, but he was heading out for the night and that stung a little. As he gathered his wallet and keys in his hands, you snuck up behind him, placing your arm at the small of his back. 

“You just gonna leave with no goodbye?” 

You smiled up at him, secretly hoping that wasn’t his intention. His face lit up at the sight of your smiling face beaming up at him and he relished in the feeling of your hand on his back, touching him like this. 

“No way, pretty girl. Never. Dad called and needed me home, something with Sarah.” 

He responded. 

“Okay. Well, be careful.” 

You replied. 

“Always am. You call if you need me to take you home, okay?” 

He asks, but it’s not a question. 

“Okay, Rafael. Be good.” 

You smiled at him, squeezing his hand before letting him go and watching him walk out the front door. The rest of the night drug by, Sundays were usually very busy with Kildare residents playing golf while heavily intoxicated, but most of the traffic died down around dinner time. It was your night to close so you were by yourself after Emily went home at 4 and that meant blasting Taylor Swift while you started closing the club down for the night. You wiped the tables down first, belting out the lyrics to your favorite Taylor song to date I Almost Do. You could remember it having a different meaning when you and Rafe had parted ways, singing it at the top of your lungs in your bedroom, willing yourself to pick up the phone and call him. Now, the words didn’t sting as much and instead, you just wanted to feel his warmth. It was no longer the song of your heart, now it was just another song. Those feelings seemed so far away and you couldn’t help but feel thankful. You were brought out of your thoughts by none other than JJ Maybank busting through the front door of the club and you knew this could only mean disaster. You locked eyes with him and that devilish smirk that he somehow always sported sent chills down your spine. 

“Miss me, angel?” 

He questioned, hiss in his tone. You ignored him, which you knew better than to do. You knew what it would do to him. You knew it drove him absolutely insane, but you did it anyway because it felt good. 

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” 

His yell echoed through the building and the fear that you remembered so well returned. 

“What, JJ? What do you want?” 

You scoffed. 

“I want your attention, honey.” 

He spoke softer now and you couldn’t help but think wow, what a psycho. 

“Sorry, you’ve lost that privilege.” 

“I haven’t lost anything, darling. Don’t forget who you belong to.” 

His sneer was sinister and you knew what he meant, what he was capable of. As he walked out of the door, tears filled your vision. You wanted so badly to call Rafe but you knew it would only mean disaster. He couldn’t know everything, yet. So, instead you finished closing the club and went home. 

taglist:

@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt

as always, if you'd like to be tagged please let me know <3

[judeyswife]

not what i’m looking for. — jude bellingham x reader. II

genre : angst

word count : 928

note : hii lovies, this is official part two of the series not what im looking for !!! (part one) please let me know of what yall think in the comments! there will be a part 3 guys so don't worry, but it'll probs be a wrap up for this mini series since i want to get started on some other fics too + made a few format changes and writing from author's pov this time -- but thats it! enjoyyy! requests box always open !!

‏‏‎ ‎ ———————————————————-‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎ ‏‏‎ ‎

"i'm sorry"

it's horrendous how fast people switch up. or i'd say men, in this case. it's been roughly about six months since that conversation had happened. it was honestly one of the worst days in your whole life. i mean, yeah you'll get through it. but why? every once in a while you think about what did she have that you didn't.

but this is a topic that hasn't been brought up in about a month. and a certain individual isn't mentioned anymore in your life thank the lord.

you have gone to a beach house near where you live with a few of your best friends, layla, jess, and liv. yall needed this vacation after months of torture. or studying.

they've been with you since day one. truthfully you'd say who needs a relationship when you have your homegirls?

"Y/N, come here right fucking now." -- layla screamed from our room in the house.

you could literally think she had been getting murdered with the way she was screaming honestly.

"oh my god what!"

"whats his name posted a fucking video of missing someone LOOK."

who? jude.

you sit next to her curiously taking her phone from her hands in order for you to take a look at the tiktok she was trying to show you.

( for the sake of the story, jude has tiktok xoxo )

you were shocked. who genuinely who would've though that he'd actually miss us? it didn't even sound right thinking about it.

"maybe it's about her layla" you shrugged getting up to grab your water bottle from her desk.

"are you stupid girl, he's obviously thinking about you, i mean look at his caption." - 'didn't think a situationship could hurt more than an actual relationship' don't be a fool y/n"

liv and jess had entered the room a few minutes ago listening to the conversation making liv enter the conversation.

"ain't no way he has the nerve to do that bullshit on social media"

you stood there listening to them diss jude for about 5 minutes straight. but your lost in your thoughts. i mean, why would he ever miss something he supposedly never had? it's genuinely so draining and confusing.

"guys just drop it, its whatever. lets just go hang out at the hot tub, i really fucking need it"

your friends just looked at one another not saying a single word. they knew better. not to make you sound like a maniac or anything, but they knew how you were with bottling up your feelings. jude was a sensitive topic for you. they didn't want to be the cause of ruining your vacation over some dumb tiktok captions. they simply agreed with you and started getting changed to go out the the hot tub.

•

it had been a few hours since you last seen your phone and you're now inside getting ready to have dinner with the girls and settling down. so you took these few moments, unlocked your phone and checked out what you had missed.

you furrowed your eyebrows trying to figure out who this number could possibly belong to. since you and layla are sharing a room for the trip, she was getting ready at her vanity and noticed your confused expression.

"y/n what's up?" -- asking you meanwhile putting a face mask on.

"i don't know, this random number just texted me with my name i'm just hella confused"

"that's weird. ask who it is obviously"

you nodded listening to what she had advised you to do.

you had this conversation silently without saying a word to layla about who this "mystery person" was. mainly because you wanted to fight your own battles. i mean you basically already had jess and liv involved. not that your mad at them or anything, you know they want what's best for you. clearly they're on team jude. those girls.

"who was it?" layla said getting up from her chair to grab her phone from the charger near her bed. "no one important, they got the wrong number and person" you honestly don't know how she believed you. you hate to admit but you were feeling jittery after having that conversation with jude after so long. even if it was barely a conversation.

you hated that you needed to lie to layla, but you truly believed it was honestly for the best. when you and jude were talking, they knew every single detail about the relationship you had with jude. and by they i mean your friends and his friends. always involved. one of the main issues why miscommunication was lacking horribly in your relationship. so that's why you want a new beginning. not just to "lie" to your friends but to feel the sense of control in your life. even if tomorrow was the last conversation you had with jude, you wanted to keep the moment to yourself.

•

without saying a word to anyone, you and jude had been chatting it up all night. just a catch up with each other. you guys went from telling every detail of your day to each other, to not saying a single word for months to each other. it felt nice being able to slowly regain that comfort you once had when you guys would text or facetime all night long.

you were honestly praying for the best in tomorrow's conversation, you had no idea what it could lead up to.

but the overthinking was done on your pillow all night long, plus his texts of course.

[axelsagewrites]

Aemond Targaryen*Poloraids

Pairing: modern! Aemond x f! Reader

Word count: 2373

Part Two at bottom

Warnings: nudes, talks of sex, phone sex, sex toys, nipple play, dom Aemond, slight bratting, teasing, smut 18+

A/n: wrote this on my notes app and posting on mobile cause I can't sleep so pls forgive formating errors till I can check on my laptop tomorrow but for now enjoy desperate Aemond phone sex

Masterlist here

You had only been apart from Aemond for a mere three weeks but in that time you missed him more than you could have imagined. He was off to his dream college while you packed up to go to your own dream school. Aemond would never even think of asking you to follow him or potentially ruin your dream and had insisted you would survive the distance.

He was only a four hour drive away but being in your freshman year you barely had time to sleep let alot drive four hours one way to see your boyfriend. Maybe after the first semester it would be easier but for now you had to be content with late night phone calls and the letters he sent.

Yes Aemond had insisted on writing letters. You both wrote a letter to each other the last night you spent together before he left for college and mailed it out to the others dorm. You usually got two, sometimes three letters a week and of course you always returned his mail.

While you kept each other up to date on life and school over the phone the letters were a more personal touch, romantic even. Aemond did his best to write you poety even if English was not his strong suit. You just new he was blushing as you read his poems all those miles away. He'd sometimes send small packages with the letters. This ranged from books he thought you'd like to a sweatshirt from his college that he had worn for a week and covered in his cologne.

You almaot made sure to put just as much love into your mail. Your letters rambled on for pages about what you missed about him and the life you would build after university. He'd gifted you a Polaroid camera and a stack of film before you had left and you made sure to include pictures of you in your dorm, your campus, and the sights around you. Aemond had sent you a snap of his desk set up with your poloraids pinned around his reminder board, a picture of you unpacking your dorm with a cheesy grin right beside where his laptop would sit.

However while you knew you would miss him you hadn't even thought about how much you'd miss his touch. And not just his hugs which always warmed your heart but for gods sake you had never been so horny. Your roommates boyfriend was only a building away and you were jealous every time she came back with hickeys covering her neck and mascara smudged under her eyes.

"Don't worry you'll see your precious Aemond eventually," Sara joked after you had admitted to you jealous states, "then he can fuck your brains out so you're not so tense,"

"I'm not tense," but you were. So fucking tense.

It was one night when you caught Sara taking suggestive pics out the corner of your eye did you get the idea. Your eyes fell to the poloraid camera on your desk. So far you had never sent Aemond any kind of explicit pictures like that. Sure you did your best to look good when you snapped him but he'd never asked for a nude and you had never thought of sending them. But maybe if you started it, like the mail, he would return the favour.

When Aemonds latest letter came in the mail Sara happened to be out the dorm and staying the night at her boyfriend jaces frat house. After reading the letter your eyes fell to the camera. You racked your mind for a few moments, wondering if the reason why Aemond had never asked was because he never wanted them. But what guy would turn that down, you wondered. Plus it wasn't like you and Aemond hadn't done stuff in the past. He was always sneaking into your house to get his hands all over you.

Fuck it, you thought. You quickly rummaged through your drawers, finding the few nice lingerie pieces you had brought with you before you settled into wearing Aemonds boxers and a sports bra religiously.

You quickly slid into the black lacey bra and thong set you had convinced yourself you would wear to a party for a confidence boost and never had. It had been one of Aemonds favourites before you left for college. You did your best to straighten the sheets and hide your clutter as you set up for the first photo.

You took a few moments trying to get into the perfect pose before snapping a picture of your chest, sticking your tits out to make them pop. And boy did they look good. When you saw them printed on the film you couldn't help the ego boost when you saw yourself dolled up. You moved the camera lower, taking a picture of your hips and thighs, twisting your body into the poses you'd seen on dirty magazines.

You took a couple more in that set, trying the recreate some tiktok recommended poses you'd seen, when you suddenly really started to feel yourself. You changed quickly into another set, a dark red body you had bought for the first time Aemond would visit you. You were sure he wouldn't mind you wearing it without him when he saw the results. This time you made sure to capture your ass perfectly, loving how it looked in the angles you tried.

Then came your last idea. Your eyes fell to the sweatshirt he had sent you. You quickly stripped off the lingerie and tugged on a more simple thong that still looked amazing on. You slipped into the hoodie, letting yourself emerse yourself in his smell. This time your pictures were you sat at your desk, set up as if you were studying but you lifted the camera to a high angle so he could see your bare thighs. Next you lifted the shirt, giving him a show of your underboob and waist. Then finally one last pic of you bent over the desk as if you were waiting for him.

As you snapped the last pic you heard Sara's key in the lock and quickly sprinter to jump under your covers, trying to look as innocent as possible as you put the printed Polaroids under the covers.

The next day you finished writing your letter and slipped in four of the nine poloraids you had taken. You made sure to sit them behind the letter in the envelope since you didn't need his roommate getting a private show. You posted the letter and did your best to act casual over the phone with Aemond but you couldn't help feel anxious about his reaction.

Two days later your phone rang as you were sat in bed finishing an essay on your laptop. "Hey baby," you greeted as you read over your list of spelling mistakes.

"Don't hey baby me," Aemond said, catching your attention and making you move your laptop to the side, "You think trying to tease me is funny?"

"Tease you-" you said as you sat up properly in bed trying to figure out what he meant when it hit you. "Did you get my letter?" you said not able to hide the smirk in your voice.

"Oh I got your letter alright darling," Aemond said darkly and you could just imagine him pacing his dorm room while his roommate was out. "and the pictures,"

"Did you like them?" you said with a light giggle as if you had been transformed back to the start of your relationship. "I thought you mightve been getting lonely over there. So far away," you said with a fake pout, loving the affects you had already had on them.

"Are you kidding me?" Aemond said with a dark chuckle, "You look positively fuckable in these doll. I don't know how I'm supposed to contain myself till I see you,"

You felt your stomach go light like butterflies were dancing in it at his words. "I've got more if you'd like," you said as you twirled your hair like a school girl.

"God's you really are a little minx aren't you?" Aemond groaned making you giggle, "You won't be so cocky when I get there. No you get all shy don't you? Like a good little girl,"

"Maybe I don't wanna be a good girl," you teased as you discarded the laptop onto your bedside table, moving to lay down as you spoke.

"You know what happens when you don't behave doll," Aemond warned in the same voice he used when he used to hold you by your jaw, forcing you to meet his eye.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" you grinned as your hand searched your bottom drawer for the vibrator you had stashed away for nights like this where all you wanted was Aemonds touch. "You're not here to make me do anything,"

"Just you wait doll," Aemond said as you heard him crash down onto his bed, "When I'm there you'll regret being such a brat,"

"I don't believe you," you teased as you slipped the vibrator between your legs, slowly running it up and down your folds before it was even on.

Aemond was silent for a moment and you wondered how good he must look right now with that stern look on his face," You're touching yourself aren't you?" he said making your actions pause.

"No I'm-" you started to stutter out only to be interrupted by Aemonds chuckle.

"Oh baby girl you really are that desperate aren't you?" he said, his smirk evident in his voice, "trying to get off by just my voice. Bet you could as well love you're that desperate," you tried to argue but Aemond kept talking, "Turn it on doll. I know you're using that pretty little vibe of yours aren't you?"

"maybe," you said, your voice shaky as you reached for the button.

"So predictable," he chuckled, "God's you looked good when I would use that on you. Turn it on doll and go slow. I want you to earn it if you're gonna be such a tease,"

Even from so far away Aemond still had a control over you which made you switch the toy onto it's lowest setting and slowly run it up your folds, gasping as your ran it over your sensitive clit." that's a good girl, "Aemond praised when he heard your noises through the phone. "I'm just looking at these pics love," you heard him say as you moved the vibe to slowly circle around your clit, "Such pretty pictures," he said, "almost as good as the real thing. Almost because it won't be long till I bend you over that desk of yours. You'd like to that wouldn't you? Me fucking you over your desk in my sweetheart,"

"Yes," you whimpered but Aemond tutted over the phone.

"Yes what?"

"Yes sir," you correct yourself, moaning as you felt a knot bubbling in your stomach.

"Good girl," Aemond praised and you could swear you could hear him jerking off on the other end, "now turn up the vibe baby and slip it in,"

You whined but did as instructed, the soft silicone easily slipping into your wet pussy, "It's in," you said, your voice whiny.

"Good. Now tighten your thighs to hold it there. You're gonna need your hands love," he said, a slight groan in his voice as he stroked his member.

"Okay," you stuttered, doing as he said but also laying your phone next to your head on speaker, "now what sir?"

"Now I want you to squeeze those perfect tit's of yours," he said, his breathing more rugged, "they look so good in that red little number of yours. Can't wait to tear it off you,"

"Thank you sir," you moaned as you followed his instructions and wishing it was his hands.

"Now pinch those perky nipples of yours," Aemond said which you gladly complied with, rolling them between your fingers, "Miss kissing those perfect tit's of yours. Gonna cover them in hickeys next time I get my hands on them. Might even take a picture for good measure. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Yes sir," you whined as you felt your body start to jerk at your already approaching climax.

"You gonna cum baby?" Aemond asked, his breathing shaking as he approached his own edge.

"Yes," you whined, greatful your roommate had left for the night, "Please sir can I cum now please?"

"Fuck," Aemond gasped, "Yes baby cum for me. Be a good girl baby don't hide any of those pretty noises. Think I might just cum from hearing them," he said.

You couldn't even say anything else as your body began twitching, your legs shaking as you felt your orgasm rip through your body. You didn't try to hide your moans and it wasn't long till you heard Aemond mumbling curses and praise through the phone. "Fuck," Aemond gasped as he started to catch his breath.

"Did you..?" you asked, your voice trailing off.

"Yes darling," he said with uneven breath, "All over these pictures love. Is there any chance you could send some more?" he asked but this time his voice was far more shy.

You laughed lightly as you rolled onto your side, snuggling into your pillow now suddenly tired, "of course baby. How come you never asked before?"

"I didn't want you to think I'm some kind of pervert," Aemond confessed now far more sheepish than his sexy persona.

"You're not a pervert Aem, you're my boyfriend," you laughed, imagining how his cheeks would be flushing right now. "Of course I'll send some more baby you'll just need to be patient," you teased.

"I'm sick of being patient," Aemond groaned like a toddler who had been told no, "I'm driving up to see you Friday after class no questions, no excuses,"

"Aemy that's a long drive are you sure?" you asked, worried how he'd be able to get all his work done if he was so far from college.

"More than sure baby. I need to see you and besides. I have a few new ideas of what you could do with that camera,"

Part Two here

Taglist: @clairacassidy @valeskafics @starkleila

[loukaiitis]

Notes and Journal Entries by Kip Kinkel

A compilation of writings by Kip Kinkel. This is for informational and educational purposes only. Post is below the cut.

Disclaimer: the majority of his writing pieces (that have been released to the public) are only available in a typed transcript format, provided by PBS. Because of this, I am only able to include a few images of the original writing. This post will be updated if any new images come out!

Journal Entry by Kip:

"I sit here all alone. I am always alone. I don't know who I am. I want to be something I can never be. I try so hard every day. But in the end, I hate myself for what I've become.

Every single person I know means nothing to me. I hate every person on this earth. I wish they could all go away. You all make me sick. I wish I was dead.

The only reason I stay alive is because of hope. Even though I am repulsive and few people know who I am, I still feel that things might, maybe, just a little bit, get better.

I don't understand any fucking person on this earth. Some of you are so weak, mainly, that a four year old could push you down. I am strong, but my head just doesn't work right. I know I should be happy with what I have, but I hate living.

Every time I talk to her, I have a small amount of hope. But then she will tear it right down. It feels like my heart is breaking. But is that possible. I am so consumed with hate all of the time. Could I ever love anyone? I have feelings, but do I have a heart that's not black and full of animosity?

I know everyone thinks this way sometimes, but I am so full of rage that I feel I could snap at any moment. I think about it everyday. Blowing the school up or just taking the easy way out, and walk into a pep assembly with guns. In either case, people that are breathing will stop breathing. That is how I will repay all you mother fuckers for all you put me through.

I feel like everyone is against me, but no one ever makes fun of me, mainly because they think I am a psycho. There is one kid above all others that I want to kill. I want nothing more than to put a hole in his head. The one reason I don't: Hope. That tomorrow will be better. As soon as my hope is gone, people die.

I ask myself why I hate more than anyone else. I don't know. But my head and heart want him dead. He only knows who I am through reputation, and I know he is scared of me. He should be. One bad day, and there will be a sawed off shotgun in his face or five pounds of Semtex under his bed.

Oh fuck. I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't laugh after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate.

Please. Someone, help me. All I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy.

End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me.

It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close.

I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back.

My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head. Why aren't I normal? Help me. No one will. I will kill every last mother fucking one of you. The thought of you is still racing in my head. I am too drunk to make sense.

Every time I see your face, my heart is shot with an arrow. I think she will say yes, but she doesn't, does she? She says, "I don't know". The three most fucked up words in the English language.

I want you to feel this, be this, taste this, kill this. Kill me. Oh God, I don't want to live. Will I see it to the end? What kind of dad would I make? All humans are evil. I just want to end the world of evil.

I don't want to see, hear, speak or feel evil, but I can't help it. I am evil. I want to kill and give pain without a cost. And there is no such thing. We kill him - we killed him a long time ago. Anyone that believes in God is a fucking sheep.

If there was a God, he wouldn't let me feel the way I do. ....Love isn't real, only hate remains. Only hate."

Essay about love, written by Kip

"Love Sucks

No, I don't believe in love at first sight because love is an evil plot to make people buy alcohol and firearms. When you love someone something it is always taken away from you. I also would like to add that I hate each and every one of you. Because everything I touch turns to shit. I think if you think you fall in love with someone at first sight it might just be lust. Love at first sight is only in movies. Where the people in the movies are better than you. That is why you go to a pone [pawn] shop and buy an AK-15 because you are going to execute every last mother fucking one of you. If I had a heart it would be gray.

It is easier to hate than love. Because there is much more hate and misery in the world than there is love and peace. Some people say that you should love everyone. But that is impossible. Look at our history it is full of death, depression, rape, wars and diseases. I also do not believe in love at first sight. But I do believe in hate at first sight. Therefore love is a much harder feeling to experience."

Monologue written by Kip for a homework assignment. This monologue was written for the character Tybalt of Romeo and Juliet.

"But you know me, I loathe all of them. I am no longer blind in my hatred, I can see with my hate. Blood will flow until they are all dead. This was the first moment in my life where I had taken the life of another. I loved it. It dispelled all the anger and animosity I was feeling."

Note written by Kip, confessing to the murder of his parents. This was found on a coffee table in the living room of the Kinkel's home.

"I have just killed my parents! I don't know what is happening. I love my mom and dad so much. I just got two felonies on my record. My parents can't take that! It would destroy them. The embarrassment would be too much for them. They couldn't live with themselves. I'm so sorry. I am a horrible son. I wish I had been aborted. I destroy everything I touch. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I didn't deserve them. They were wonderful people. It's not their fault or the fault of any person, organization, or television show. My head just doesn't work right. God damn these VOICES inside my head. I want to die. I want to be gone. But I have to kill people. I don't know why. I am so sorry! Why did God do this to me. I have never been happy. I wish I was happy. I wish I made my mother proud. I am nothing! I tried so hard to find happiness. But you know me I hate everything. I have no other choice. What have I become? I am so sorry"

A concerning note written by Kip on a Spanish worksheet

Another concerning note by Kip

"Respect Sheet" filled out by Kip

[aloesarchives]

Tags/Warnings: Fem!Reader/Pronouns, Swearing, Gojo has a hard crush on you, Gojo vs Toji Part 3, The word ass being used, Toji straight up having beef and fighting a bunch of teenagers, Nicknames such as beloved and hon(ney), JJK OCs, Out of pocket moments and sayings, Me being an annoying narrator

[Semi-proofread, informal formatting, and edited as of 12/22/2023 10:18am CST]

Summary: One of the truths behind Toji's beef with Gojo

Word count: 2.8k words

(A/N: I spent 10pm-6am writing this because I just need to or I would never forgive myself if I didn't! I promise I will have some of the "Toji lives" AU posts ready by next week because your girl got her ADHD meds back in stock!! Thank you for being patient with me and my inconsistent updates!!) (12/22/2023 6:05am CST)

💙I love you all! 💙🥰😚💙

💙❤️Please Enjoy!!!💙❤️

The REAL reason Toji has major beef with Gojo is because Gojo had a crush on you during his high school days when you would sub for Yaga in the classroom and training sessions. He did try his best to keep it under wraps but Geto was like,

"Bro, she's the same age as Yaga-sensei. . . Stop reaching, Satoru. . . Do I need to remind you who (L/N)-sama is married to again?"

The Gojo responded with, "Suguru, I don't give a shit about that loser. He's a bum, anyway. The question you should be asking is why (L/N)-dono is fucking married and still in-love to a deadbeat like him. I would have been a better option. Face it Suguru, I'm right."

While Satoru has a point, as Suguru noted, it doesn't change the fact that Satoru was crushing on a MARRIED woman who had TWO kids.

Though it was true, Satoru would have technically been a good husband/father/lover. However, there are many reasons why it must be ruled out.

Satoru is over half your age. Picking him meant allegations and a prison cell. Gojo tried reasoning with you, "But (Y/N)-dono! Age is just a number, give me two years!" "And Prison is just a place, Satoru-kun. I don't want to be labeled as a child predator, let alone be framed for "seDuCinG" the Gojo heir. I want to have a clean record."

While his personality brought you happiness, his carefree nature would clash a lot with you. He can mature but his child-like spirit and carefree persona isn't something you would personally deal with.

He was more of your protégé/junior/student if anything. You saw him more as your son and acted like a parental figure. You wanted to watch him grow and mature. Not become his lover.

To spite the higher-ups and Jujutsu elders(excluding your clan). Given you were a powerful and skillful sorcerer, marrying Gojo would be "BeNeFiCiaL" to Jujutsu society. However, it meant that you were on a watchlist 24/7 and pressured to have an HeIR. It made you physically sick and ill thinking what those old useless dementia white-haired cowards are allow to do that just to better "society" but not its citizens.

You are MARRIED to a man who is trying to step up after his major fuck ups. It's not perfect but Toji is his best trying after you gave him his life and freedom. Since he technically can't leave your home or go to Jujutsu High without your supervision, he's basically househusband duty. And he was getting pretty damn good at it too. Plus Toji's hot, he got you feral and gnawing at your teeth with his signature smile and smirk. And the way his arms flex when he crosses them, or how they feel when you link arms together.

While it wasn't super obvious, okay it was obvious, you always shot down Satoru's playful confessions and light-hearted shenanigans. Basically rejecting him every time. Usually, Suguru would warn you in advance but you know it would happen with each interactions. While you firmly turned him down, you made him understand why it can't and WON'T happen. You still care for him, just never romantically, only platonically and motherly. You made it clear that his "love" for you was just a strong admiration and infatuation disguised as a crush.

Though he was heartbroken, at first. Satoru slowly understand what you mean and his crush slowly fades away as it's replaced with immense respect for you.

HOWEVER, it still linger and not widely known because Toji finally gets word of this through the grapevine. A.K.A, through his two children Megumi and Tsumiki. It happened one day when you brought the two to the school so you can keep a close eye on them since they didn't have school that day. Toji was out doing errands so the two kids are accompanying you. Megumi and Tsumiki were occupied with their books and toys while you taught and trained the students. Megumi and Tsumiki went to find you because they were hungry and you had their lunches. As they looked for you, they see you talking to Satoru. They meet him a couple of times but he's still a stranger to them compared to Shoko or Suguru. So when they see Gojo with you, all alone with no one around, they thought it was major sus.

As they snuck closer, they could hear bit and pieces of what Gojo is saying to you. Megumi lowkey thinks Gojo is super annoying and acts more of a child then he does. But what catches his ears first was something with along the lines of, "(L/N)-dono, please consider it-" "Satoru-kun, how many time will I need to say no to you? You know I can never feel for you that way. Plus it's bad for me to agree to it. You know that it's admiration and infatuation if anything. Not love."

See Megumi knows you only use love as in 'I love you" to him, his sister, and his dad. But to this dude? Nah, something fishy is going on and Megumi gotta tell his dad about it. Megumi comes running, yelling "Mommy!!!". You and Satoru turn to see your son running to you and colliding with your legs. You crouch down and pat your son's head and smile at your daughter following behind him. Megumi hands your hand tightly as you lead them away to have lunch with your kids. Satoru made a face at Megumi when he saw the kid glare at him.

Once you three made it home, you're in the bathroom changing into some home clothes. Meanwhile, Toji was cooking dinner while Megumi and Tsumiki were waiting for you at the dinner table. As Toji was asking them about their day with you, Megumi brought up Gojo's advances and confession towards you. When Megumi said this, the beef Toji was about to flip plopped right back onto the pan. He looks back at Megumi and asks if there's anything else that he can share. As Megumi shares what he has seen through his perspective, Toji asks Tsumiki to confirm is this is all true, to which she said yes, backing up Megumi's claims.

"Yeah, Papa. Satoru-kun is weird. Even though Mama keeps saying she's married to you, he still does it. Tsumiki saw it too."

"I see... Thank you, Megumi and Tsumiki for watching and taking care of Mama for me. I appreciate it a lot. Can you tell her that dinner is almost ready?"

The kids nodded and went to go get you. After dinner and putting the kids to bed, you were sipping your favorite drink as Toji is doing the dishes. You would have helped him but he said no. While you two were talking, he brings up Satoru and his school crush on you.

"Toji, beloved, you know that it's just a small crush. It's nothing more then puppy love for me. Nothing more and nothing less. And you know that you're the only man that I am willing to give my heart to."

"I know that, (Y/N). But what does this brat got on me to think he's a better match for you? Just because this kid is practically a god doesn't mean everyone will bow down to him. I'm definitely not one of them. And to know that said brat is flirting with you even though you're visibly married with kids, he needs to read the room. I will be going with you to school tomorrow. The kids go back to school the next day, and I already got this week's groceries and cleaned the house."

You would have protested if Toji didn't give you a searing kiss while caging you in his arms. Fuck he looked so hot. Curse him and his good looks *punching the air*.

"Fine, you can come. BUT, Toji you need to behavior yourself. You already knew the deal. You better not be doing any funny business."

"Yes, Ma'am. You're the boss, I promise you." Toji says as he gave you a kiss on the cheek before lightly patting your ass.

After dropping the kids off, Toji accompanies you to the school. Toji is just silent and sits in one of the chairs as you do your lessons. Toji is leaning on the chair with a smirk plastered on his face. Not a care in the world. After a few lessons, you were going to teach and train Gojo, Geto, and Shoko for the rest of the school day. As you went to their classroom, they greet you, especially Gojo. However, the mood changed when they saw Toji walk in behind you, wearing nothing but a black slim fit t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Toji gave a head nod to the teens while he just takes a seat in a chair to lean on it. The three were shock to see him.

Particularly because they did expect him to come with you to the school at all. Suguru had an idea but he hoped it wasn't going to be it. After teaching a lesson, you told the three to practice their curse techniques and let their curse energy loose. While doing so, you told them that you would have to speak to Yaga for a bit on something and would be back 15 minutes tops. You told Toji to behave, and he nodded and gave a thumbs up. As you leave the kids and your husband on the train grounds, that's when the storm started brewing. Toji walks up to Gojo and is 3 feet from him. He smirks while looking at him up and down, sizing him up. Shoko and Suguru are on the sidelines as Toji, a married adult male in his 30s, was beefing with a 16 year old high school student.

Suguru: "Satoru, I don't think this is a good idea-"

Satoru: "Hush now, Suguru. . . It's my time to shine. . . Watch the master at work."

Suguru proceeds to roll his eyes but becomes a little weary after his last encounter with Toji was. . . unideal. Given one of their teachers was shot in the throat by Toji saving Anamai, and himself getting injured. It wasn't something he wanted to constantly get reminded of. But ever since you liberated Toji from the higher ups and explained it to your students, Suguru has slowly been changing his views on Toji. It will take a while but it's getting there. Anyhow, Suguru told Shoko to book it once the two were going to throw down.

Satoru: "So, what brings you back here, Toji~? You just couldn't get me out of that little mind of yours~? You're mad I'm 1-0 with you?"

Toji: "Kid, I'm pretty sure that it's 1-1 since I won our first battle. Anyway, I heard through the grapevine that you gave (Y/N) a love confession. Don't you know it's bad to confess and hit on a married woman who has kids? Were you taught any manners? Then again, by the way you act, you probably have none."

Satoru: "You're just mad, Old Man. That I, Satoru Gojo, would treat (Y/N)-dono better and treat her worth. Face it, Old Man. I'm a better match for her than you'll ever be."

Toji: "Like she ever goes for someone half her age, Brat. Plus, you'll never look at you as a lover ever. You're more of a son to her and that's the closest you'll get."

Satoru: "Well, she doesn't need a bum like you around. Imagine fighting a bunch of teens and getting your ass beat by said teens. Skill issue if you ask me."

Toji: "Watch your tongue, Boy. Remember who made you struggle for the first time in your life and actually killed you. While, you know, fucking up your best friend, the second strongest sorcerer, with no curse energy? I got your ass with no gifts other than being a superhuman with weapons. You can never beat me, I'm just built different, Kid."

Satoru: "You wanna test that, Toji~? You got no curse weapons with you. I can pack you up like you're a school lunch."

Toji: "Kid, please. I don't need any weapons to beat you, let alone kill you. You see this? This is a rock, and I can use it to beat you. I also still have my hands too. And I am more then willing to give it to you, Gojo~kun."

Satoru: "You think I'm scared of someone like you? I've ascended, enlighten if you will. If you even know what that word is. Throughout Heaven and Earth, I alone am the honored one. Remember those words, Fushiguro-san? Remember them good because I will put you six feet underground."

Toji: "I see then, Kid. . . So you're playing God? I guess that makes me a God Slayer then. . . Prepare yourself, Kid. . ."

Satoru: "Alright, bet then, Bozo."

Thus, Gojo and Toji started to go at each other for round 3. Shoko was already gone and the two started fighting in the training grounds. Five minutes have already passed and they have made five decently sized craters. Just as both of them were about to throw a punch at each other, they suddenly felt a powerful presence which halted them. They turn to you walking towards them with a furious face unimaginable.

"GOJO SATORU AND TOJI (L/N) FUSHIGURO!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?!?! I LEAVE FOR LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR AND I GET CALLED BACK BECAUSE OF THIS!?!?"

"(Y/N)-dono!!"

"(Y/N)!"

You moved like a blur and appeared next to them vice gripping their forearms tightly. You dragged them to the nearest empty classroom you can find or any room. You were just so livid that you didn't hear Gojo whining about your grip and asking to let you go like a child. As you let them go once you dragged them far enough, you smacked both of them hard on the head. Shoko and Gojo were watching this as Yaga appeared right next to them shortly. It was interesting seeing two of the most broken people in the world kneeling with their heads down in-front of a woman who doesn't have god-like abilities.

"GOJO, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT USING BOTH OF YOUR ABILITIES DURING TRAINING SESSIONS!?!? YOU KNOW THE CALAMITY AND DAMAGE YOU COULD'VE CAUSED!?"

"BUT (Y/N)-dono! He-"

"NO BUTS, GOJO!! AND YOU, TOJI, I LITERALLY JUST SAID NO FUNNY BUSINESS AND YOU'RE ABOUT TO CREATE THE NEXT SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. I DON'T NEED ANOTHER RAPTURE HERE. I'M STILL DEALING WITH THE AFTERMATH FROM THE TWO OF YOU AS IT IS!!!"

"Okay, Hon. I take full responsibility for my actions today."

"YOU BETTER, TOJI!!! YOU'RE A FULL GROWN MARRIED MAN WITH TWO KIDS!!!"

"But (Y/N)-dono, I was not going to kill him last time-"

"NO ONES DYING HERE!!! NEITHER OF YOU WILL NOT DIE AS LONG AS I AM AROUND. I WON'T LET THE BOTH OF YOU KILL EACH OTHER OVER SOME PETTINESS AND A BOY CRUSH."

You start to calm down but you are still firm with them.

"I know this started because of Satoru's crush on me. . . Satoru, I will not love you romantically and date you. Please understand that. I care for you like family and that is said for the rest of you. Yes you, Suguru, Shoko, and Yaga. And Toji, I'm not leaving you for a child. I would be in jail and not working here. . . Geez, I saw this from a mile away but never expected this to happen. Now, you two better behave yourselves or else. You two don't have to say sorry or anything like of the sort. Just don't go tearing at each other's throats when I both am and am not around. Please, for me. . ."

The two looked at each other before saying a soft yeah. After that, Yaga told you to go home early and he would take it from there. You had to patch up Toji a bit but it wasn't anything of concern. From then on, Toji and Gojo just banter and bicker with each other. It's funny to watch except for Megumi since he's seeing his dad beefing with his unofficial adoptive older brother 24/7.

Satoru eventually grows out of his crush for (Y/N) but Suguru and Shoko never let him down. Hell, it's a running gag in the school about Gojo's old crush on you. Gojo always gets super embarrassed about it, especially when you join in but it's all fun and games with you all.

The only person who genuinely hates it is Megumi because the thought of Gojo having romantic feelings for you and trying to woo you made Megumi visibly ill and sick to his core. He would lowkey help his dad beat up Gojo if Gojo's crush on you became serious again.

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💙Author's Notes💙: 💙I am truly grateful to each and everyone of you in showing me that my writing is enjoyable to read!!! I appreciate you all from the bottom of my heart for making my comeback worthwhile! I hate to sound giga cringe but every single one of you that likes, reblogs, and comments on my writing post make me want to continue writing because I know that there are people out there that like what I make.💙 💙So once again, I am truly grateful and feel appreciative that everyone single one of you enjoy what I have been writing. I hope you all stay healthy, drink your water/favorite drink, treat yourself kindly, and take a break because you earned it!💙🥰 ❄️💙💙Happy Holidays to all of you, my GOATS!!!💙💙❄️

[lizinthebox]

Work it Out

Pairing: Hoshi x Fem Reader

CW: Hoshi is TOXIC, oral (f. receiving), rough sex, jealous sex, a little edging, degradation, unprotected sex (don't do this), pull out method (don't do this either), a little praise but in a mean way, ambiguous ending

A/N : as always this was not proofread at all, this is the 3rd post of my ot13 series (not being posted in age order), please reblog if you enjoy it! my internet is out rn so i apologize for formatting issues :/ i wanted to get this out today! next part hopefully out tmrw :)

W/C: 1.3k

Your back slammed against the wall behind you. Hoshi's rough hands groping your body without any thought. Between gasps and pleading moans, you question how you even got in this position. One minute you were walking into the club with your friends, all of you finding your own arm-candy for the night. the next minute you were making eye contact with your ex from across the crowded club. You couldn't believe you just happened to end up at the same club as Hoshi barely two weeks after you broke up. You tried to enjoy dancing with the stranger you just introduced yourself to, but all you could focus on were Hoshi's eyes burning through you. You hadn't even been at the club for an hour when he finally made a move on you. He didn’t even speak, just pulled you away from the guy you were with, and you let him. You didn't know what his plan was, but you knew you were in no position to stop him.

Now here you are, desperately gasping for air while your ex-boyfriend makes a mess out of you. His kisses are so rough it almost hurts, but you’re too focused on your aching cunt to care. Your mind is so clouded with lust for him, you can't even remember why you broke up. In this moment, you wish you never had. "Hoshi, please," you choke out when his lips finally break from yours. You're not quite sure what you’re begging for, but these are the only words you can form right now.

“You think you can just go to the club and act like a fucking whore now that we broke up?” he asks, his words hurting your feelings in a way that makes a puddle in your underwear. "Is fucking a stranger gonna make you feel better?" he challenges, clearly overwhelmed with jealousy and lust.

“I-I wasn't gonna fuck him, I was just—“ you're cut off by Hoshi's hand sliding into your panties, quickly finding your clit and circling around it. Your legs instinctively open for him. making him chuckle at how desperate you are for him. He lets one of his legs slide between

yours and you moan at the feeling of his hard cock against your thigh. “Oh my god," your breath hitches in your throat when he suddenly slides two fingers deep inside you.

"You think he could've made you feel this good?" Hoshi asks, looking dead in your eyes

as he starts to pump in and out of you. Him questioning you is somehow making you even more wet, loving the way he wants you to only belong to him. Hoshi was always territorial about you, maybe too much, but right now it's the hottest thing in the world.

“No—he couldn't, he couldn't." you give him what he wants, assurance that nobody could

ever make you as wet as he can or make you cum as hard as he can. You knew you had no

intention of sleeping with that guy from the club, but now you're so glad you let Hoshi steal you away from him. Hoshi takes his hands away from your core to rip your black top off your body, making you moan because you never wanted him to stop.

He finally lets you two leave the doorway of his apartment, pulling you toward his

bedroom by the hips. Once you get to his room, he pushes you down onto the bed, sliding your skirt off before you can even notice. He's on his knees at the edge of the bed, looking at you like you're the hottest thing he's ever seen. "So wet for me, I thought you were done with me," he says as he spreads your legs in front of him.

"I'll never be done with you, you respond, half trying to urge him to finally put his mouth on you, half meaning every word. You’re successful and he lets his mouth connect with your heat, licking every drop of your arousal off of you. All you can do is grip his sheets and throw your head back, overcome with pleasure. You feel like you might already cum as he works his tongue around your clit, holding your legs open so you don't crush him. "Baby I'm so close don't stop." you plead, feeling the tension in your stomach getting close to snapping. Right when you’re about to go over the edge, he stops. “What the fuck?" you whine, sounding needier than you intended.

“You think I'm gonna let you finish that easily? You cum when I let you," he snarks at you, pulling your hips to the edge of the bed to align them with his waist. He's so mean, you weren't even trying to make him mad by going to the club, you just wanted to have fun and forget about your heart hurting. Now you're being punished for even daring to think of anyone other than him. Your pussy is throbbing at this point, needing Hoshi to just fuck you already. Hoshi finally pulls his cock out and you push your hips up against him, spreading your slick all over his shaft. "Stop being a brat." he comments at your neediness. Finally, he rubs his tip between your folds, softly hitting your clit each time, making you bite back moans.

Your mouth falls open, hands reaching for Hoshi's chest to slow him down as he quickly presses himself into you. You push against his chest with one hand as the other reaches down for your clit. He stops you before you can even reach yourself.

"It's my turn to touch you, " he reminds you, taking your wandering hand in his own and pushing it onto the bed over your head. His words make you regret ever dancing with that other guy, the second you saw Hoshi you should ve gone over to him, gotten yourself into his bed faster. He speeds up his thrusts, the friction making your walls burn with pain and pleasure. “See how well you take my cock, baby? Better than anyone else," his words are almost sweet, reminding you how well you two fit together.

You feel the tightness in your stomach growing again, knowing you can't last much longer with how hard he's hitting your sweet spot. "Hoshi, please— please let me cum," you beg, tears welling in your eyes from the stimulation. When he untangles his hand from yours and reaches down to circle your clit, you know you’re done for.

“Cum for me baby, cum all over my cock,” he finally gives you what you want. Your now

freed hand grips his sheets so hard your knuckles turn white. You completely let go, your legs shaking and back arching off the bed. You don't even notice Hoshi's strokes getting sloppier as he fucks you through your high. He's pulling his cock out of you and letting his cum shoot all over your stomach before you can even realize what's happening. His grunts and your pants mix to fill the room with the dirtiest sounds. Both of your chests are heaving, so fucked out that all you can do is wait until you catch your breath.

Once you both finally come back to your senses, Hoshi leans down to kiss your head. It's like his persona from the last 2 hours is completely gone. He looks more like the boyfriend you used to have, who would sweetly make love to you, not the new ex-boyfriend who just wanted to see you stuffed with his cock again. Your lips join with his, sweat almost dripping from his forehead. “Stay the night, yea?" he asks, and you ve never turned down that invitation, especially not tonight.

[redr0sewrites]

🥀2K Follower Event🥀

🥀A/n: hi everyone!!! i've finally made it to 2K followers and i am so soo soooo happy + excited!!! i never thought id make it this far and i am very excited to celebrate with all of you. in honor of me finally reaching this goal, ive created a prompt list below that u can all use to send in requests. thank u all again for helping me on this journey, ily all!!!

🥀How it Works:

send in a request with the prompt number you would like, along with the character(s) you would like me to write it for and whether or not you want the fic to be nsfw/sfw

if you want any additional information on the reader to be included (gender, race, fashion, or any other descriptors) please include those w the request as well

up to 3 characters per request, as i want to realistically be able to finish them all without burning out

prompts may be used twice, but not for the same character. multiple characters may be used for the same prompt but a singular character can not be reused for that prompt.

i will be accepting requests until the event closes, and i will update this post once that happens

if a request goes against my rules and guidelines on my pinned masterpost, the request will simply not be written

i will work on requests chronologically, so please be patient.

🥀Request Format Examples:

hi! can i request prompt #28 with rengoku and a mtf!reader? i'd like the fic to be sfw! tysm and have a great day!

heyy can u write prompt #7 with aaravos and make it nsfw? thx!

can i request prompt #33 (sfw) with jayroy (jason todd and roy harper) x masc!reader? thankss!

🥀Prompts:

"you can't just show up like this! are you hurt?"

"where are you?"

"somebody is in loooveee!!"

"of course they don't like me, that's ridiculous!... did they say anything to you about me?"

"i don't like you- i love you."

"its so cold without you."

"i guess im just disappointed."

"did you hurt them?"

"i can't stand them, their stupid smile and their stupid laugh and their stupid crooked teeth- oh."

"why are your hands so cold?!"

"ive never felt like this before.."

"because i love you! i've loved you since the moment i saw you, i just can't take it anymore. i want you to be with me!"

"i wasted so much time chasing after them, and for what?"

"do you even like me?" "i love you-" "thats not what i asked. sure, you love me, but do you even like me as a person?"

"it feels- it feels good.."

"don't be shy, darling"

"i wish you saw yourself the way that i see you."

"i never hated you!"

"are you mad at me?"

"i'm just so sick of trying to be something im not. i hope you can forgive me."

"please don't cry, shh, your okay."

"i want you, no one else."

"do you trust me?"

"ive never been touched there.."

"i want you inside me/i want to be inside you"

"you taste so sweet.."

"why can't you see that i love you?"

"is that my shirt your wearing?"

"aww, are you stuck baby?"

"i thought i lost you again"

"our baby would be so cute..."

"you're so pretty like this.."

"i love you." "you're drunk, you dont- you don't mean that.."

"i hate how easy it is for me to love you again."

"are you.. scared of me?"

"aw, don't cry prince/ss"

"i need to stay awake, but i'm just so tired... can you stay? please?"

"i'm just going to end up hurting you-" "i know you'd never hurt me"

"would it be embarrassing if i said i missed you?"

"fuck- feel me all up in your guts, baby?"

"stay still, this will only hurt for a second, jus' relax for me, kay?"

"i know you can take it, just breathe"

"i need you so bad.. it hurts-"

"do you wanna join, or are you just gonna keep watching?"

"no one else will get to see me like this, i can promise you that"

"come closer, i need you"

"you look absolutely stunning like this"

"i'm sorry i wasn't there before, but i'm here now, and i always will be"

"i can't get up with you laying on top of me!"

"shit." "what?" "so, uh, theres only one bed.."

most of these i made up myself by just imagining random fanfic scenarios, but a few were ideas from friends, so credit to them! again, thank you all so much for supporting me and for helping me get this far ♥️♥️♥️

[sparkiekong]

A NoTel Night 9/10

The spice contained below is in text format for your viewing. Please remember this is adult content and is not suitable for people mentally or physically under the age of 18. The text below the cut is the entire scenes after Guy and DC trash the Springs bar. It's intended for mature audiences.

You can always skip this part, it's not mandatory to read. It goes into great detail with pictures on what happens. The post after this one will summarize what happened over the course of them leaving the alley. Remember, you can skip this if you don't want to read or see spicy meatballs.

The text below the cut is quite long, so sorry not sorry.

SPICE -> HERE <- WITH PICTURES - YAY!! @helenofsimblr is amazing!

You should thank her for these images and poses. Seriously... cause I can't deal with the sims 4 anymore.

Her words fueled his desire even further. He lifted her effortlessly, positioning her against the rough brick wall so that he could bury himself deep inside her. She cried out at the sudden intrusion, her nails digging into his shoulders as he thrust hard and fast.

"Yes, fuck me, Guy," she begged, her voice ragged with need. "Make me yours."

He obliged, pounding into her with relentless intensity. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure crashing over her, making it impossible to think of anything else. She wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him on with every moan and gasp.

"You like that, huh?" he growled, punctuating each word with another hard thrust. "You like being fucked like this?"

"God, yes," she panted, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Don't stop, please."

He didn't. In fact, he only increased his pace, driven by the raw passion between them. The world outside the alley ceased to exist, leaving only the two of them locked in a primal dance of lust and power.

Just as they were reaching the precipice of ecstasy, Guy suddenly pulled out, leaving her breathless and aching for more.

"What the hell?" DC demanded, glaring at him. "Why did you stop?"

—

He grinned, a wicked glint in his eye. "Trust me, you'll like what happens next."

DC could feel the adrenaline still coursing through her veins as she pulled away from Guy, their breaths mingling in the chilly night air. The alley was a mess of broken bottles and scattered debris, a stark contrast to the raw energy that had just surged between them. She could taste the faint tang of blood on her lips, a reminder of the violence they’d just witnessed and participated in.

"Let's get out of here," she said, her voice low and husky. Her red eyes locked onto his blue ones, filled with a mixture of satisfaction and something deeper, darker. "There's gotta be a motel nearby."

Guy nodded, swallowing hard. His hands were still trembling slightly, but not from fear—from the intensity of the emotions swirling inside him. He reached out, fingers brushing against hers before tightening their grip. Together, they walked briskly down the alley, the sounds police and ambulance heading to the bar fading into the distance.

They found a rundown motel just a few blocks away. The sign flickered, as they approached the Notel Motel was always open. DC didn’t hesitate; she pushed open the door and strode inside, Guy following close behind. The lobby was small and dimly lit, the air thick with the scent of cheap cigarettes and stale beer.

The clerk behind the counter barely looked up from his dirty tv show. "Room for two, yeah?" he asked flatly, not bothering to hide his disinterest.

"Yeah, you know the one I want." DC replied, pulling out a crumpled wad of cash from her pocket. She slapped it down on the counter, not bothering to count it out. "Give us your best room."

“Oh, it’s you Dollface. Yeah, so I don’t have to give you the rules. That’s good. That room is always open to a hottie like you. My offer still stands, if this big hunk of meat isn’t enough, I’ll be waiting here for ya, Kapeesh?!” Mr. Krahbs shrugged and handed over a key without comment. DC snatched it up and turned towards the hallway, Guy trailing after her. They made their way to the room at the end of the dirty corridor.

She unlocked the door and shoved it open, stepping inside without waiting for Guy. The room was small, just a tv bolted to the floor, a queen bed, a half broken down couch, with a few plastic plants and a place to wash up. The sheets were a dingy white, stained in places with who knew what. DC didn’t care. All she cared about was getting Guy alone, finally.

Guy closed the door behind them and leaned back against it, watching her with a mix of anticipation and nervousness. DC crossed the room in a few long strides, her body tense with need. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward, their lips meeting in a bruising kiss.

Their tongues tangled aggressively, teeth clashing as they devoured each other’s mouths. DC’s hands roamed over his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath his shirt. She could hear his breathing hitch, feel his heart pounding against her palms. It only fueled her desire further.

She broke the kiss, gasping for breath. "Take off your clothes," she demanded, her voice rough with lust.

Guy needed no further prompting. He quickly stripped off his shirt, revealing a torso that was both powerful and lean, covered in a light sheen of sweat. DC’s eyes darted over every inch of him, drinking in the sight. Then she reached down, unbuckling his belt and tugging his jeans down his legs, leaving him standing there in nothing but his boxers.

DC stepped back, giving him a once-over. "You look good enough to eat," she murmured, her voice dripping with innuendo.

Guy’s eyes darkened, and he reached for her, but she stopped him with a smirk. "Not yet," she said, her tone challenging. "I want you to beg for it."

Guy’s jaw tightened, but he nodded. "Please," he whispered, the word torn from his throat. "Fuck me, DC."

Her smile widened, and she took a step closer, her fingers curling around the waistband of his boxers. She tugged them down slowly, savoring the way his breath caught in his throat. When they were finally pooled around his ankles, she let them drop to the floor.

Guy was fully erect, his cock standing tall and proud. DC’s mouth watered at the sight. She dropped to her knees in front of him, her hands wrapped around his shaft. She stroked him slowly at first, then faster, her thumb rubbing over the velvety head.

Guy groaned, his head tilting back as he fought to keep control. "God, DC… please…"

She glanced up at him, her red eyes gleaming with mischief. "What do you want, Guy?" she teased, her voice low and sultry.

"I want you to suck me," he ground out, hips twitching as she continued to stroke him. "Please, DC. I need it."

DC laughed softly, a sound that was both wicked and alluring. She released him long enough to unzip her own pants and push them down, along with her underwear. She was already wet, her panties soaked through with desire.

She rose to her feet, pressing herself against him. "On the bed," she commanded, her voice brooking no argument.

Guy obeyed instantly, lying back on the bed and spreading his legs. DC climbed onto the mattress, positioning herself between his thighs. She leaned down, her lips hovering just above his straining cock.

"Tell me how bad you want it," she purred, her breath hot against his sensitive skin.

"I want it so bad," Guy panted, his hands fisting the bedding. "Suck me, DC. Please."

With a satisfied hum, DC wrapped her lips around the head of his cock, taking him deep into her mouth. She moved slowly at first, her tongue flicking over the sensitive underside. Guy’s hips jerked upwards, seeking more friction.

DC obliged, increasing the pace, her mouth working in perfect rhythm with her hand. She could feel his pulse racing, his breathing growing ragged. She loved the power she had over him, the way he lost himself in the sensations she was creating.

"Harder," he groaned, his voice strained. "Fuck, DC… harder."

She complied, taking him even deeper, her throat contracting around his length. Guy’s fingers tangled in her short black hair, guiding her movements. He was close, so close, and she could tell by the way his hips bucked violently, his moans turning desperate.

"Almost there," she whispered against his skin, her voice muffled by his cock. "Come for me, Guy."

That was all it took. With a guttural cry, Guy exploded, his seed filling her mouth. DC swallowed every drop, relishing the salty taste. When he was spent, she pulled back, licking her lips suggestively.

"Now it’s my turn," he said, his voice dripping with promise. He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her deeply. In a swift movement, he turned her onto the bed and pushed her thighs open, he leaned down between her legs and looked up at her with his striking blue eyes. “Mind if I have a taste?”

Lust filled eyes looked down at him and she grabbed his head and slammed it into her vagina. He let her hips guide his tongue as she ground on his face and a few moments later she let out a pleasurable scream. “Guy fuck me now.” she demanded.

He wasted no time in switching his position, he entered her and began thrusting, she sat up and grabbed him around the neck, “Fuck me against the wall, like we did in the alley, tell me how hot it was. Tell me all the things you want to do to me and leave me bruised in the morning. I want to feel this cock until you fill me up again in a few days.”

He hesitated for a moment, worried he’d actually hurt her. The words she said were as if a siren called to him, it was hard to restrain himself, but he didn’t stop moving, “Are you sure? I can be a bit rough if I let loose.”

“Do it.” She said in a husky voice. He obliged, but still held back more than he wanted to. He whispered anything and everything nasty and dirty that he could think of, and she just moaned for more. She climaxed again and he carried her back to the bed. She lit a cigarette and smoked while they lay naked on the bed, they were spent for a moment.

“You do know you can go harder, right? I’m not some pansy fluff you’ve fucked before. Give me more. You can go again, yes?” she said as she gently touched the tip of his still hard dick.

He smirked at her, “Of course I can. I can go all night. It’s just usually, the women that I sleep with can’t keep up.”

“Well, I’m not your usual, am I? Let’s break the bed. I’ll pay for it.” DC let a long puff of smoke slide out of her mouth. “Let me ride you until I’m done with this cigarette. Then we can do all the things those meager little frumps won’t let you do.” 

The entire night was filled with more of the same high intensity sexual escapades and eventually Guy fell asleep and, in the morning, he woke up alone. He was a bit disappointed in that fact, but she’d made it clear. This was how she wanted their relationship to be, and Guy would try to respect that, but somewhere in his mind, he knew it was already more than that for him and he needed to figure out how to make her see that they were perfect for each other. His eyes noticed a bit of breakfast on the table and a note, 

“See you again soon. Xoxo DC.”  

He smiled and after a brief shower, he headed for home. Not his home, but to visit with his family. He’d been a bit lax about that lately and since he wouldn’t be able to see DC until the evening… he had time to kill. 

[earthtodora]

Fanfic Writer Interview

Thankyouuu to @uriekukistan and @rocketkid300 for the tag!!

Tagging: @izabella95 and @sailormew4

wow this one is a bit long oops.

How many works do you have on ao3?

i have 36 works (plus a couple of orphaned fics), 32 fics for jjk and 4 for haikyuu! most of my fics are one-shots, but i have a couple of multichapter fics, and there are 2 currently unfinished.

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:

Saving You: my longest ever project and i'm still not over how much attention this one got. it's an itafushi time travel fix it fic, and writing it made me realize how much i like writing angst and hurt comfort!

so much for keeping this just friends: okay so this is a kuroken one-shot, post-time skip, with a smut scene at the end. i'm a bit confused about how it got so popular (my best guess is the timing, as i wrote it after the movie came out) but i'm really grateful.

i'm not too far and you're my favorite place: also a kuroken one-shot, in a 5+1 format. it's also rated explicit. wait, i think i see a pattern here. so maybe it's the porn, huh?

The Truth Is, I Want To Kiss You - itafushi one-shot (and no, this one doesn't have any smut). yuuji is hit by a curse that makes him say every thought that comes into his head, and megumi is forced to deal with the consequences. actually kinda happy with how this one turned out, and i'm glad so many people enjoyed it.

five times megumi's shikigami were affectionate with yuuji, and one time megumi finally was: - another 5+1, a cute, fluffy, megumi pov oneshot. one of the few times when humor was kinda successful, i think.

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

i always try to respond to every comment i get. sometimes (like now) i fall behind with comments on my one-shots, but i will eventually catch up! i really appreciate any kind of interaction and feedback from my readers, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when people leave me a comment.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angriest ending?

you know, i've been called an angst monster, but one thing about my fics is that they always have a happy ending. i just don't have the heart to write sad endings. that being said, at one point when multiple friends of mine started working on MCD fics, i kinda wanted to try it too. but i just can't bring myself to kill off half of itafushi, so they both had to go. there was resolution, and they were together in death, but they still died. so it was kinda bittersweet.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

honestly, most of them end quite nicely, and the ones that don't end happily still have a hopeful ending, if that makes sense. but i guess Saving You is the happiest, cause we get a proposal at the end, and a wedding bonus chapter is in the works!

Do you write crossovers?

i don't have any published ones yet, but i fucked around with a naruto/jjk crossover idea and wrote some scenes. i just like the idea of itafushi showing narusasu how to fucking communicate and be honest with each other. and i like the idea of naruto trying to convince yuuji to befriend the murderous monster sealed inside him, cause for him it worked out pretty well, so why can't it work for yuuji? (sukuna is not amused). basically a crackfic, which may or may not see the light of day.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yeah, i got some mean comments and some weird asks in my inbox once or twice. i don't understand why people get so angry and aggressive over fics, like, you can just close the tab and move on. especially if it's something that was clearly tagged, and was never intended to appeal to your specific taste. constructive criticism is of course always welcome, and i love interacting with readers, but when someone tells me they don't like a certain part and then follows up by telling me that the whole fic is trash, yeah, not a good vibe. lmao i remember getting a really condescending comment about me getting the timeline wrong and how i didn't even bother to get my facts right. spoiler, i had the manga open while writing and i got the timeline correct, so someone made a fool out of themselves by commenting that. ngl, that was pretty funny.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i like writing smut! but, i find that smut attracts a certain type of audience and i just don't have the patience to deal with the problematic ones. people seem to be very particular about their preferred top/bottom dynamics, and they get real upset when i don't follow their headcanons. so, i'll still keep most of my fics sfw, but if the mood strikes me, i might write a smutty one-shot, or an explicit scene in a multichapter fic. my smut scenes are usually pretty heated, and there's a bit of power play involved. i enjoy writing characters taking charge in a fun, consensual kinda way.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

actually, i had multiple fics of mine stolen and posted on wattpad under a different account name. i think the thing that pissed me off the most was seeing the author's notes and the "author" replying to some of the comments, like, are you fucking serious, bro. props to the wattpad tho, they took down the account pretty quickly after i reported it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope, but i would probably cry if anyone wanted to do that.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no, but i'd love to!

What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i guess no one is going to get surprised if i say itafushi, right? there's just something about their dynamic that has me in a chokehold and won't let me go. i enjoy reading their characterization in different settings, and there are so many ways you can explore their relationship. i also love satosugu, narusasu, kuroken, bokuaka, kagehina and iwaoi, so there's no shortage of fics for me to read.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i have a half-abandoned fic about post-canon megumi going through several stages of spiraling out of control, hearing voices, seeing visions and generally losing it. he's basically having a psychotic break, and it's really dark. i've never written angst to this extent before, and it's hard. i'd love to finish it, but it's a challenge, because i can't quite grasp the tone i want to set for it. might be worth revisiting some time later.

What are your writing strengths?

i love writing dialogue, and i like using it to convey character's personalities and relationships. my fics usually have a lot of banter between characters, and it's usually a lot of fun. i get told i'm good at writing angst, which makes me proud. also, if someone says i'm funny, then i consider that a personal achievement.

What are your writing weaknesses?

as i said, i love writing dialogue. well, it's not a weakness, per se, but my fics often turn out dialogue-heavy, and sometimes i need to balance that out. it's a learning process. my prose is a little bit flat, i don't usually add much detail to descriptions, so there's a lot of room for improvement in that department. it's mostly due to my impatience and desire to move the plot along, but whenever i read beautiful descriptive prose, it makes me wanna work harder.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if the situation calls for it, and the characters can have a conversation in another language, why not? i watch anime with subs, so honorifics sound natural and don't distract me, but when i use them myself, i like to keep them canon-compliant and not overdo it. some "iconic" japanese phrases do lose their charm when translated (choso hung up on the onii-chan thing is a good example), so in those cases, i'm good with just using the original version. it's a personal preference.

What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

i'm late to the whole anime party, so i'm still catching up with everything. i managed to finish naruto recently, and i read a bunch of sasunaru fics, and honestly, i would love to try and write something for them. they have a rougher, more aggressive dynamic, certainly more toxic than itafushi, and i'd love to play around with that.

i have 4 haikyuu fics published, but i don't have anything written for kagehina yet, so that's next on the list.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i had to think about this for a while, cause all of my fics are special to me in their own way. i guess i will always lean towards my angsty ones, cause, i love it when a description of pain gets the reader's emotions all stirred up, and i have a knack for making people cry, apparently. so, i'd say the world is cruel but i still love you (along with the farmfic that follows it up called let's take this mess and make a home)

but i'm kinda happy with my latest angsty one-shot, blessed with a curse, too.

[not-alien-girl-v]

Broken Pieces (George Daniel)

warning: drinking, being mean to boyfriend, language

note: merry christmas.

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

You pulled up to this party at 10 o'clock on the dot courtesy of your friend Violet who provided you a ride. She said she had better places to be than third wheeling with you and George all night. You know the truth is that she doesn't like going to parties where she doesn't know a lot of people, but you figured you'd let her have it just this once.

Your top is comfortable tonight but your jeans are digging into your stomach in a bad way, something to do with your seasonal weight gain, something that always happens post-Thanksgiving and pre-Christmas, but George always assures you that he loves your body no matter what 'format' he gets it in. He always had an odd way with words, but the sentiment remains nonetheless.

The door of Matty and George's apartment is already open when you press on it. The air is about 10 degrees hotter inside than the frosty winter air outside, and it's comforting. It always feels like home.

Gazing around the living room, you see a random guy you've never met before in a large hat with the Grinch's face on it, a tasteful choice for a holiday party. You always wonder who the hell these people are that attend your boyfriend and your boyfriend's boyfriend's parties. Sometimes they just feel like extras in a movie set, but maybe you only feel that way since you never go out of your way to talk to the people you don't know.

And why would you, when you spot Ross and George together in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, drinks in hand. George's hair is a mess and he's wearing his black D.A.R.E. shirt but in your mind, he looks beautiful as always. Of course, you'd never tell him that in public.

You skip over to them, day looking better already. "OMG! Is that my bestie?" You bubbly exclaim, opening your arms to Ross and he returns them with a big hug. He smushes you a little uncomfortably, but it feels nice anyway.

He lets you go, "hey bestie," he speaks lowly. He's become well accustomed to your vocabulary, knowing to call you his 'bestie' rather than 'best friend.' You turn to George.

"Hey bitch." You grab his glass out of his hand, taking a sip, and coughing immediately after swallowing. "That's gross."

"Hi, love, when did you get here?" George ignores your initial rudeness.

"Just now. Scooch over, I wanna get in the sandwich." You're referring to standing in between the two men, being in the 'sandwich' as you call it. They both wordlessly create space between them in which you squeeze into.

"Have you guys seen hat guy?" You ask.

"Who?" Ross returns.

"Guy with the Grinch hat?"

"No. Wish I had though. Sounds cool," George looks down at you as he speaks. You decide to take advantage of this opportunity and grab him by the back of the neck, pulling him into a hard kiss that he gladly gives back, smiling into it. Ross makes a retching noise to your right.

"Y/N, wait, I need you to settle an argument. A girl argument," Ross interjects.

"What's a girl argument?"

George sighs in annoyance, "an argument that we, as men, cannot come to a verdict on without the input of a woman. It's stupid, Ross, I told you we don't need to ask a girl about this."

"No, we do. You're stupid. Okay, so. When women are, like, breastfeeding, does the milk come from the center of the nipple or from the whole area?"

"Like a shower head type deal," George adds, forgetting that he's against this argument.

"Yeah like a shower head. Because I say nipple but George says shower head. So what's the truth?" The look on his face is so sincere that you're certain he's completely serious. You glance at George, a similar expression. A prime opportunity to fuck with them.

"It actually comes out of the pores on the boob. Like you know how you have pores on your face? So it's a different type of skin on your boobs and the milk comes from under the skin and through the pores. That's why they sell those tit pore strips to clear out all the crap gets stuck in there so the milk comes out. You ever seen those before?"

"No, I haven't," Ross is astounded.

"Really? That's crazy, I would have never guessed," George nods his head as he speaks like he's really coming to terms with this false truth.

"No, not really, I'm fucking with you. I don't know how it comes out, why would I know? I've never breastfed before."

"Fuck off," Ross rolls his eyes, upset that you really had him going for a moment.

You cackle, happy to mess with them, then turn to George. “George? Sweet baby? Love of my life?”

He groans, shutting his eyes, “yes?”

“Will you go get me a drink and in return I’ll love you forever?”

Sighing, “I’ll be back,” and he leaves a parting kiss on the top of your head.

“Where’s my kiss?” Ross exclaims to the back of George’s head as he walks away, flipping him off as he goes.

“Ugh. Thought he’d never leave. That fucking’ guy, am I right?” You playfully joke to Ross.

“Yeah, what a loser,” Ross adds in, very best friend of him.

“Okay, Ross, what do I get him for Christmas?”

“I’m getting him a lighter with his name on it. Is that too gay?” He asks in full seriousness.

“The lighter or the name?”

“Both.”

“I think it would only be gay if it had your name on it. You’re fine. But that doesn’t answer my question.”

“I thought it did. Don’t get him a lighter.”

“Again, not an answer to my question. If I don’t get him a lighter, what do I get him?”

“Get him a super sick Grinch hat,” he points at Grinch hat guy who is now walking by.

“He’d never wear that shit.”

“It’d be funny though.”

“But for once, I don’t want funny, I want sentimental. Something that shows I love him, since I’m so bad at doing that otherwise.”

“Sex coupons?”

“What are sex coupons?”

He looks you dead in the eye, “let’s put on our thinking caps, use our context clues, why don’t we?”

“Okay, fine, I’m not gonna do that, anyway. It’s lame. And cheap. I may be broke and uncreative but not to that extent. I have dignity.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Do you?”

“Shut up.”

“Here’s your drink, love. ‘S just a soda since we don’t have what you like here,” George suddenly returns with a cup of Sprite in his hand.

“See, even he knows what I like. How am I supposed to compete with that?” You throw your hands up in surrender.

“He’s a little slow. It won’t even matter what you give him, even if it doesn’t mean anything, he’ll love it,” Ross tells you.

“I’m right here,” George takes a sip of your Sprite, eyes bouncing between the two of you in confusion.

“But I need to be a better girlfriend, none of this lame shit. That was just practice, this is the first game of the season.”

“Then just suck his dick and call it a day!” Ross returns your energy.

“Hello?” George asks again.

You turn to him, “hi. Thanks for the drink. Sprite?”

“Yeah, poured it out of a can and everything. Feeling like Gordon Ramsey right now.”

Chuckling, you take the drink out of his hand and sip at it. He comes to stand on the other side of you, completing the sandwich once more. “And for the record, I think you’re an amazing girlfriend.”

“You would say that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re so nice to me, all the time. Don’t I ever piss you off? Push your buttons just a little too much. Don’t you ever want to go off on me?”

“Of course not, you know I’m not like that.”

You sigh, “yeah, I know.” You pause, then continue, “so, what do you want for Christmas?” You rest your head on the side of his arm (would have been his shoulder if you were taller but it’s like, literally whatever).

“I’d be happy with just a day with you. I don’t need anything fancy, some heartfelt shit. Just some quality time.”

“Really? That’s it?”

“I feel like you want me to give you something more material so you can just buy it. Is that what you want?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay, if you want to get me something I’ll like, get me some cologne. Something you think smells good. Promise I’ll wear it.”

You hold out your pinky to him. He hooks his with yours, giving a brief shake, then holding onto your hand with both of his. “You look tired already baby. Do you want to lay down?”

“First of all, that’s rude to say. Second of all, you’re right and I hate it. Stop reading me so well.

“So, yes?”

“Yeah…” He nods, happily grabbing your hand and leading you to his room which he had locked for the sake of the party. You turn back and wave goodbye to Ross; you’ll probably fall asleep and see him next tomorrow.

George holds the door open for you and guides you inside. He even pulls back the comforter for you to slip under. Once you do, he cheesily tucks you in, kissing your forehead. “Anything I can do for you, my dear?”

You shake your head no, already feeling too pampered and spoiled for one night.

“Alright,” he kisses your forehead and stands from his kneeled position, dusting his hands off on his pant legs. “I’ll leave you be now. I love you.”

“I love you too.” You still have no idea what cologne to get him, but at least it’s a start. How hard could sex coupons be to make, anyway?”

⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:*⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

Taglist: @indierockgirrl @itssimpleanditgoeslikethis @butyou-callmewhenyourebored @milkluvr8 @americanangel

[cochineal-leviat]

Sketch Dump Pokemon 24 January

The sketch dump I made for the beginning of the year. There's even more from January that did not fit the format but are on my drawing file. Those are for later though. (It's not much but I don't want to crowd this post too much)

From left to right, top and bottom we have:

The rough sketch for vs champion Kieran silhouette and the final render version I made. It all started because I loved the pose here with that down perspective. If you know anything about framing and cinematography, you know that this perspective is used when a character is looking down at you/or has power over you/is more powerful. It works perfectly well, as that piece was about how Kieran's peers felt about him after his rise to Blueberry Champion. (and Hydrapple, so goofy and yet intimidating)

A rough shading I did for the applin render. I adored the simplimism and kept a copy of it before I started adding the shadows it would get from its surroundings.

The sketch from Kieran with his applin on his head! I love how the final came out but my favourite will always be the sketch version. I really don't know why I do, but my guess is that I just really like seeing the build-up. Sketch Kieran has my heart.

A sketch of Flore I did for an ask not that long ago. And Frosmoth! They came out really well.

A sketch of Lacey and her Plusle and Minun cheering her on. I sketched the idea on my pocket-sized sketchbook first and then sketched this version. I like it and the energy, but the lineart is not turning out so well. I will have to redo it. Not sure if I should stick with this pose (it's very direct) since, aside from a few moments, Lacey is not that confrontational unless she is annoyed or thinks something is not right. (I Love Lacey, too; I need to draw her more. The DLC really had so many good characters)

A Shinx. Just a Shinx. One of my favourite Pokemon. Whenever I play a Gen 4 game, I always put it on my team. It was one of my childhood Pokemon (fucking love them so much. I even spend weeks hatching Shinx eggs for a shiny one. Her name is Enne (^∇^*))

[therealeagal]

Hades

You know, I've mentioned before that I don't care for certain genres of video games. It's because I'm a scrub who hates losing and a fake gamer who likes games that are easy, and in neither case have I the patience to Git Gud.

On the other hand, I've also mentioned that I am endlessly fascinated by Greek mythology because I'm a nerd. It's always interesting, if a bit over-exposed. How about a game about mythology other than the bloody Greeks and the Norse? I'm lookin' at you, Kratos.

I guess there was that one Hinduism game some years ago. What was it again? The dude with the multiple arms and the giant planet sized dude who tries to crush the hero with his finger. I think it started with an N...ok I found it. Asura's Wrath. I was way off.

Didn't get enough credit if you ask me.

If one were to make a game based on mythology, perhaps there's something from Africa that would make for an interesting concept. I don't know, I'm just spitballing. Preferably one that doesn't involve freaking Anansi, because he's overexposed too.

ANYWAY.

So I picked up Hades on the strength of being a nerd, not because I had a sudden change of heart viz a viz rogue-likes.

Cast in the role of protagonist, one Zagreus, son of Hades and (so he formerly believed) Nyx, respectively the god of the Underworld and the goddess of the night.

But some how that I forget, young Zaggy discovered that Nyx is not truly his mother. His true mother is actually named Persephone and that's a whole thing, but suffice it to say, she left the underworld at some point because reasons and hasn't been seen since.

Anyway, so then young Zaggy must fight his way out of the underworld in search of his mother. Along the way, he receives help from several of the gods who reside upon Mount Olympus, who are his uncles and assorted cousins as well as his grandmother (who doesn't know she's his grandmother. It's a very top secret hush hush sort of thing), Demeter.

Then middle middle middle, everyone lives happily ever after. Except not really because they're doing a sequel, but I'm sure that game will have everyone living happily ever after. Except for the Titans, I guess, but fuck them anyway.

====

So anyway, as to the gameplay, I was prepared for a slog, and mightily did I toil until - while searching the settings for the volume controls (it's a very loud game) I discovered a nifty little option in the settings menu called God Mode. Fake gamer that I am, I naturally took the opportunity to activate it, providing 20% damage reduction, which reduction would grow incrementally 'pon my inevitable death, capped at 80% and rarely did I turn it back off.

It really does make a world of difference. What once promised to be an unbearable slog was now instead an enjoyable game.

The deaths I still suffer on occasion (on account of being a fake gamer) still manage to advance the story 9 times out of 10, and always manage to entertain and at no point do I feel overwhelmed or frustrated by needless difficulty that the devs refuse to accomodate. Well, except when using the bow. I know it's supposed to be the strongest weapon, but I'm more of a button mash kinda gamer. Perils of being a filthy casual, I guess. Gimme Excalibur any day of the week.

The only thing missing is a sword beam and a Japanese highschooler who wants to be a hero.

That's a reference by the way. It shows that I am very clever. But it's an anime reference, which cancels out the cleverness and instead shows that I'm a jackass.

P.S. If you are offended by my use of God Mode, which invalidates everything that you - as a REAL gamer - went through to Git Gud, then please remember that I warned you several times throughout this post that I am both a filthy casual and a fake gamer, so... well, I won't tell you to eat all of the shit and then die, because I am a nice person, but I will think it. Really hard.

P.P.S. This is totally unrelated, but WHY DID THEY CHANGE THE WAY THAT POSTS ARE MADE? I HATE THIS FORMAT (is that the right word?). WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE OLD WAY!? NEW IS BAD! CHANGE IS SCARY! ARGNOEHAOAFEHJKHSGDGSHGJKDHGJKDGHDK!

[dogaquarium]

Hi!! I saw your post! Unfortunately I’m very sleepy rn and I don’t have any good ask ideas off the top of my head, but I was wondering what you were thinking of ultrakill so far? Like general vibe and thoughts, even concerns if you have any!

Hope you feel better soon! Here’s my kitty ^^ (she’s blue because sister accidentally spilled (animal safe) hair dye on her 😔)

Well, I winded up taking so long to answer these asks I got that I totally finished getting through ultrakill with my friends in the meantime! So I can give you some properly fleshed out thoughts now!

Each layer had so much character to it.... I believe the environment designs are what stick out to me most, honestly. It was really something to behold. Personal favorites had to be clair de lune, bridgeburner (from how awe inspiring the first look at the city below was), LITERALLY THE ENTIRE WRATH LAYER WOW BY FAR MY FAVE THING IN THE WHOLE GAME (specifically waves of the starless sea), and no sound no memory. Does the earthmover in itself count as environmental design considering it's whole body is a stage? I guess. Giant weapon dog horse thing. Love that guy. And the lore that went with it is crazy

Something Wicked is fucking AWESOME. I actually had a lot of difficulty seeing it on my screen when I was in call with my friends (the contrast on my computer is pretty bad, so it's always difficult for me to see anything that's even a little bit dark) but 1) the vibes were crazy anyway, 2) I watched it after the fact on my phone and could see it a lot better; it's the coolest thing ever to me that something which looks so unthreatening can fill you with sm genuine terror, and 3) me and my friends found a lethal company mod that added it as a monster and we've been using it ever since, it rocks. I generally loved all the bonus levels that deviated from the format like something wicked did, the fishing level and the puzzle level especially

Very brief rundown on enemies: I have the most beef with malicious face as do a majority of my friends fuck that guy (SIDE NOTE DID YOU KNOW IT HAS LEGS), I felt a little robbed that cerberus wasn't an actual dog, drones I don't like but I couldn't tell you why, mindflayers 🥰🥰🥰, V2 is one of my ultimate faves, and the design approach to the minotaur was super unique

Last main note I want gabriel Badly but I feel like this is something every ultrakill fan must experience so I don't feel special for it

I have more to say on the topic if you were to ask specifics, but this hits everything notable about my ultrakill experience atm I'd say. Can't wait for it to be fully finished!!!

I LOVE YOUR BLUE CAT!!!!!!! Thank you for asking star :^3

[cowboy-like-moony]

Fucking hate the epidemic tiktok has caused with their stupid formatting, first instagram reels- who asked for a feature where you can see tiktoks a month later on instagram? But after everyone was annoyed by those stupid reels, of course they had to infect YouTube as well and even Pinterest! The worst thing is how addicting this shit is and I don't have instagram or tiktok anymore (because it's toxic and again ADDICTITING) so now I always click on those stupid YouTube shorts and oh how I hate them, I could deal with the people randomly harrasing others on the street for cloud with dumb questions and with stupid reddit story times that cut of in the middle because the audio is from different video and the creator posting this video didn't bother to put a part two, but why is YouTube so desperate to convert me to the right? YouTube what's your agenda? And yeah we all should expose ourselves to diffrent views and break out of our echo chambers blah blah blah. I like my bubble and I am still exposed to many diffrent views and critical discussions, I truly don't need videos of people going "but if penis then how girl??" and they always have the most brain dead "arguments" (if you can even call them that) and act like it's the biggest gotcha moment in history, like was I supposed to have a takeaway from this besides seeing that you're stupid and can't formulate a single argument that actually works? I just don't understand why I keep seeing them? I don't even engage with them anymore, even tho I want to explain to them why their arguments don't work so badly. And I don't think my algorithm suggests that I'd somehow be interested in just getting bombarded with transphobia, misogyny and racism (not a lot of homophobia actually, so yayy). I truly believe my life would be so much better if I never saw Ben Shakiras face ever again (autocorrect made his last name this and I can't be bothered to look up how his actual last name is spelled, so he's just called Ben Shakira now, he seems like the kind of person who calls people by the wrong name and by wrong name I mean dead name, so I can call him whatever I want and he doesn't get to be "sensitive" about it). It's also not like I'm getting leftist content beyond the content that makes sense with what I view anyway. And I've talked to other people who've gotten the same right wing propaganda. Why does YouTube want a generation of n*zis so badly? This is pissing me of so much