#don't actually do that

[kaiserouo]

(prev)

have you done the "type the problem into a calculator and copy the answer back" encounter?

[born2b-beheaded]

my.mama wants me to clean soon Shoots myself and i need a shower Kills and kayden is on mute for some reason Dies

Look your mama in the face and tell her FUCK YOU

[killermchann]

[auberylis]

April fools prank idea for userweb people: replace your 88x31 button with a huge gay bara furry image with giant cocks and bodily fluids, and have all who didn't reupload your button but hotlinked it instead automatically propagate it over the web! Ha ha ha!

[rocknrollinbitchforu]

anyways happy FIVE YEAR anniversary of me coming out everyone needs to call me king of the gays today

[ask-follower-jade]

looks like someone purrs around denny

I wish for you to die a thousand deaths, you fuck.

Never speak of that.

[haystarlight]

I love how Jason is a name originally from Greek Mythology but, if you tell me about a guy named Jason, I just imagine some dumb normal guy.

Also, how come the name Juliet is perfectly fine for a girl in the modern day but, if I see a guy in the modern day called Romeo, I wanna laugh in his face???

[snoruntpyro]

when will someone make a hour long video essay about the rich origin and legacy of swiss hotel in super mario world romhacks

[beyoursledgehammer]

Save time and just pee during sex. CHECKMATE BACTERIA!

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

that article going around abt firefox's new ad program is annoying bc it's phrased as though "mozilla has finally TURNED on its people and is SELLING YOU OUT for cold hard cash!!" when. that's not what's happening. it is specifically being implemented to discourage tracking behavior, and literally all the data they are giving to advertisers is aggregate and anonymized, which is like, the opposite of what that post wants you to worry about, lol

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

[wishmaker-astra]

wild west astra.... shooting star? think about it

You already are supposed to wish upon me

[maeamian]

If you saw me agreeing with being annoyed about wasted helium in a fictional context and were like "I bet she has some more helium based anger in her life" good news LAPD fucked up a raid on a medical facility they thought was a pot farm and flat out ruined thousands of gallons of the stuff.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[xx-midnight-candy-goblin-xx]

Brenda Miller has always been good at acting. Faking. Pretending. She’s been doing it her whole life, acting like her home life was fine when her parents were in the middle of a divorce. Faking the perfect cheerleader. Pretending she loved being at the top of the high school food chain, being the Queen of Jeanes High.Her whole life, she’s been acting without a script.Now it’s time to write one, she thought, picking up Jackson’s diary.

kill yourself

[egophiliac]

you know, I've been thinking about it, and there is actually one single scenario in which I would be okay with not getting a big ol' "Silver Vanrouge" out of Lilia.

(just kidding, I still need some "call me Silver, Mr. Vanrouge is my father" in my life, please don't let me down on this one Twst)