#don’t take this seriously i am okay and not in an abusive relationship

[heavymetalluvofmine]

he hit me and it felt like true love🎀

[juniperskye]

Begin Again.

Sneak peek: Reader got out of a relationship about eight months ago and was sure love was meant to burn and break and end…but this particular Wednesday made her believe that maybe, just maybe, she could begin again with someone new.

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 1236

***Flashbacks are indented and in italics – this story flashes from present to past a few times. ***

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, implied age gap (kinda?), anxiety, self-consciousness, Past abusive relationship, explicit LANGUAGE,  no use of y/n, mention of Jack, mention of Hotch’s previous relationship, story is guided by begin again by Taylor Swift (lyrics aren’t all directly used), mention of a love of the Beatles. I think that’s all, let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, second guessing your outfit choice.  Were the heels too much? Would he comment on them, would he be okay with them? Maybe you should switch to flats, they would be a safer choice.

“Babe seriously. Do you have to wear heels?” He berated you. “These are the shoes she told us to wear. I can’t switch shoes I’m a bridesmaid and were all supposed to look uniform.” You explained. “Really? You’re going to make me look so fucking stupid. Who cares if she chose those, just tell her the didn’t fit or the clasp broke or something.” “I’m not doing that.” You said. “You’re so difficult. Just change your shoes, it’s not a big deal. I just don’t want to look like a fucking idiot because my girlfriend is towering over me.” He continued.

You could remember multiple arguments that went that way. Him yelling at you for dressing how you wanted, so you didn’t. He started picking out your clothes and you complied, because that was easier than having him tear you down.

You smoothed your hands over your clothes and made your way out the door. The drive to the Café was a short one. You parked and made your way across the street, ready to go in and get a table for the two of you, fully expecting to have beaten him there.

To your surprise, when you opened the door, there he was. Aaron stood from his seat and walked toward you. You met him halfway and he pulled you into a gentle embrace. You didn’t fail to notice how he still towered over you despite your heels,

“Hi! It’s so good to see you.” He said pulling out your chair.

“Oh, thank you! It’s good to see you too, I was really glad you called.” You smiled as Aaron returned to his seat across from you.

“Yeah, sorry that it’s a random Wednesday, but with my job it makes it so hard and with us being free today I wanted to take the chance and spend it with you.” Aaron explained.

“I am happy to be here! The day doesn’t matter.” You shot Aaron a shy smile.

“You look beautiful by the way.”

You couldn’t help but blush at Aaron’s words. He had been so kind and gentle with you since you had started seeing one another. You had only gone on a few dates, but things were really good. The two of you had agreed to take things slow, having both gotten out of relationships not too long ago and Aaron also had Jack to think about. You guys had texted and talked on the phone quite a bit. He had gone as far as to call you late one night after a particularly rough case.

The two of you were currently talking about how your respective weeks have gone. Aaron had just gotten back from a case (hence why you were on your date now) and you had just completed a pretty big project at work. In the midst of your conversation, the song playing in the café changed to I Will by the Beatles, one of your favorite songs.

“Oh my god I love this song!” You gushed, quietly humming along.

“You like the Beatles?” Aaron asked.

“I love them! I have every one of their albums on vinyl.” You blushed.

“I don’t think I have ever met a woman with the same level of Beatles obsession as my own.” Aaron smiled at you in admiration.

The two of you ate while quietly enjoying the music and one another’s company.

“For if I ever saw you, I didn’t catch your name. But it never really mattered, I will always feel the same. Love you forever and forever, love you with all my hear- “ “Jesus, can you stop fucking singing that song?” He huffed. “Babe, it’s a really good song, I wish you would just listen to the words.” “I don’t give a shit about your stupid song. I don’t get it anyway.” He shut you down.

Aaron and you continued your conversation upon finishing your meal. You were in pure bliss with how amazing things were going. Aaron was attentive and gave you his full attention. He nodded and responded when it was needed. He also held conversation so well, he gave just enough information about himself in combination with asking you about yourself.

Another thing that had you swooning over Aaron was the fact that he had thrown his head back in laughter a few times throughout your conversation. You truly couldn’t wrap your head around how lucky you had been to have met Aaron. Your ex had never found your sense of humor funny, and it was nice to be in the presence of someone who appreciated it.

“Can you not make jokes like that when we’re in front of my friends? Like seriously what the fuck was that?” He demanded. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a joke. Your friends laughed.” You shrugged. “It wasn’t even funny. They just laughed out of pity to save you from the embarrassment of nobody understanding your stupid ass jokes.” He rolled his eyes at you as he stormed off.

Aaron checked his watch and noticed how late it was getting. He looked into your eyes and smiled, neither one of you wanting this day to end. But he needed to go pick up Jack from soccer practice.

“Can I walk you to your car?” Aaron asked.

“That would be great.” You smiled, wrapping your scarf around your neck.

As you made your way over to your car, you thought about talking to Aaron about how your ex had truly broken you, and that part of the reason you’d requested to take things so slowly is because you had to relearn how to accept love from someone. The last eight months had allowed you time to fall in love with yourself again, but loving someone else was a whole new obstacle you were working through.

Aaron’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, he had been talking about how he wanted to introduce you to Jack, not now, but in the near future. He had come up with a nice way to do so.

“So, Jack and I always watch Elf and the Grinch around Christmas, I think it could be nice if one night you came over and watched one of them with us, you know. It gives us a few more weeks to really solidify things between us and by then we will have been seeing each other for four months. What do you say?” Aaron looked hopefully at you.

“Only if it’s the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. That new animated one is cute and all, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the live action.” You smiled back at him.

“Of course, it’s the Jim Carrey one. We take things very seriously at our house.” Aaron smirked at you.

Aaron and you shared a laugh, and then he brushed his hand over your cheek, leaned in, and kissed you gently. December couldn’t come fast enough. Things with your ex had really messed you up, and he’d left you believing that love wasn’t meant to flourish, just burn, and break and end.

But on a Wednesday, in a Café you watched it begin again.

[atinyniki]

happy new year!

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!bangchan x f!reader

genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, fighting, reader flinches bc of chan, reader is neglected, chan says rlly mean things, reader is pretty mean too, takes place on new years/new years eve, mentions of physical abuse, kissing, crying, kiss and make up (literally), chan is kinda mean to his manager (that he hates), petname, mentions of cheating, cheating accusations.

authors note: two posts in one day hell yeah ! this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1524

“seriously?!”

he can only bring himself to nod, evidently a little upset at your yelling.

you both go quiet for a moment, until you break it.

“chan.”

he looks up at you again, playing with his fingers in his lap. “hm?”

“are you cheating?”

“what?”

“are you cheating on me?”

“n-no! how could you even… ask that?”

you roll your eyes at him. “you havent been home in so fucking long, chan. and now you’re leaving again and it… it’s just not fair!”

“it’s my job, y/n.”

“your job shouldn’t require you to be away from me every day! you just got back”, you yell even louder.

he knows you’re frustrated, but he’s starting to get a headache. “y/n—“

“plus, even while you are here, you’re never with me… you’re always sleeping and you never talk to me.”

and then it just snaps.

“well, what if i’m tired y/n? what if i’m tired of running around all day with shitty schedules? what if i’m tired of having to exert my fucking voice all the time? what if i’m tired of you being so fucking clingy with me? i need rest!”, he yells back.

tears begin to well up in your eyes, and the words lump in your throat. despite that, you still manage to say something.

“am i really that clingy just for wanting the attention that i deserve? i’m your girlfriend for gods sake!”

he gets up off the bed, lightly stomping towards you. you notice the upset look on his face, red, teary eyes, and his hands are clenched into fists at his sides. 

you scoff at the sight, “what, you’re gonna fight me now? do it. hit me.”

though you act confident, you gulp, scared for what’s to come. he reaches a hand up to cup your face, but you shut your eyes, flinching and turning away.

there was no impact.

you turn back to chan, his face completely streaked with tears. “did… did you think i was really—“

he cuts himself off, unable to say anymore. 

you trip over your words, you know you’ve hurt him now. “i- i mean… i don’t see another reason your clench your fists. i just thought that—“

“clenching my fists eases the pain of my heart. that’s why i do it so much.”

“o-oh”

an uncomfortable silence passes between you two.

“um… just- come to me when you’ve calmed down. i’ll be in the living room.”

“o-okay.”

he makes his way out the room, his fists still clenched. you hear the pitter patter of his tears hitting the hardwood floor, and you just break.

you’ve done it. you’ve made him cry.

what kind of a girlfriend are you?

you finally let everything sink in. you sit down on your bed, wrapping yourself in the blanket, but it smells too familiar. it smells like chan.

chan will be leaving you again in two days. you don’t want to think about it, but you can’t stop. this is what he wanted after all. to think about it. to calm down. but you can’t.

not after what you said to him. not after what he said to you. your breaths become labored, gasping for air in between sobs. it gets painful, you can’t inhale anything anymore.

you’re stuck, you can’t breathe, but you’re being too loud. so you slap your hands over your mouth, hoping that he won’t hear, and you stuff your face into a pillow, body convulsing with every breath.

you clench the bedsheets, just needing to hold onto something.

chan was right. it helps.

he is not doing too well without you either. he hasn’t been able to stop crying since you left the room, trying to distract himself with the future next.

he turns on the tv, finally finding the countdown to new years. that’s when he realizes how late it is. how long it’s been since your argument.

it’s five minutes till midnight. 

the next year.

a fresh start. 

but it won’t be the same without you by his side. he tugs at his shirt, sobbing into the cushion even more. he’s careful not to make a sound, not wanting you to feel even worse than you already feel.

before he knows it, there’s only two minutes left. he has to apologize. he has to make it right. there’s no way in hell that he’s ending the year like this.

he walks over to your shared room, knocking softly.

one minute.

the doorknob turns, and you’re forced to face him again. it’s just the consequences of your actions.

your pillow is soaked with your tears, as is his cushion that’s still laying on the couch. your hands are clenched into fists beside you, just as his are now. your bloodshot eyes stare directly into his, and it’s like looking at a mirror.

twenty seconds.

he walks over to the bed, eyes flickering between the wet pillow and your puffy face. his heart clenches at the sight, and he digs his nails even harder into his palm. 

still wordless, he kneels down in front of you, where your legs are hanging off the bed. he’s now level with your face, making him far more intimidating.

five.

a tear leaves his eye.

four. 

he smiles softly at you.

three.

he glances at his phone to check the time, hand reaching for yours. you comply of course, interlacing your fingers in a desperate attempt to just feel him.

two.

he leans in closer to you, heart beating wildly in his chest. it feels like your first date all over again, the nervous feeling in his chest.

one.

using his other hand, he cups your face and pushes your foreheads together, smiling even wider when you don’t flinch away from him this time.

zero.

he steals your lips in a breathtaking kiss, and you just melt into it. your hands find his face, but before you can do anything, he picks you up, lips still attached to yours.

he sits down on the bed and pulls you further into his lap so that you’re straddling him, finally breaking away from the kiss with tears in his eyes.

“happy new year, babe…”

even more tears escape from your eyes now, but you just can’t help them. you hug chan even tighter now, scared that if you let go, he’ll be gone.

“you waited?”

“of course i did. i couldn’t leave you alone.”

you kiss him again, whispering little love confessions to him as you do. “happy new year…”

he knows the elephant in the room still needs to be addressed, and sighs. “i’m sorry for calling you clingy. i didn’t mean it. i really love the attention you give me, and i truly wouldn’t trade it for anything”

“i’m sorry for yelling at you… i should’ve handled it better. thank you for being patient with me.”

“you know i would never… um- do something like that to you… right?”

“i know chan, i was just scared… it was in the heat of the moment. i’m sorry for not understanding.”

he hugs you tightly, “i love you so much, y/n. you’ve changed my entire life, and now i actually look forward to it. i look forward to my schedules, my comebacks, even waking up… because i know it’s for you.”

you can’t even say anything, scared another sob will come out, so you take some time to process his words, kissing slowly at his neck.

“i love you too, channie. thank you for being here for me, and thank you for loving me. i know i can be so difficult and just a lot at times, but it means a lot that you try to make time for me.”

he smiles, kissing you again and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “oh my baby… i’ve missed you.”

you’ve never heard this type of emotion in his words before, so you just know his words have a different weight to them this time. 

“i missed you too. wondered how i was gonna sleep without you, knowing that you were hurt and—“

“shh baby… it’s okay. i’m here now, yeah?”

“but you’re gonna be gone again in two days”, you jokingly whine.

he smiles, grabbing his phone from the end of the bed, and he calls someone. you’re not sure who, but it rings for a while until they answer.

“hello?”

“i’m not going to be there for the interview.”

“what? why?! we’ve been planning this for months.”

“okay, well my girlfriend was planning on having me to herself for months, but we don’t all get what we want, do we? i’m spending time with her now.”

“can we reschedule?”

“we’ll talk later.”

he hangs up, and you’re a little stunned by the coldness of his voice. you know he hates his manager, but that much? 

“not anymore, y/n.”

“i love you, dumbass”

he giggles, “i love you too, angel.”, he says in a sing-song voice while bopping your nose.

“angel? you’ve never… called me that before…”

he hums, giggling again and quickly kissing you on the cheek.

“new year, new name.”

<3

[once-upon-an-animation]

Alright PJO fandom. Let’s clear the air on something real quick.

So if you’ve watched the PJO premiere, I’m sure one of the major changes you noticed was Gabe, and how toned down his behavior is compared to the books. There is also a clear change in the dynamic between Gabe and Sally, with Sally being more assertive and snarky with him.

The fandom seems pretty split on this change. Some people hate it and feel that a dark yet important aspect of the narrative has been lost, some people are neutral about it and are wondering if the whole Poker Player Statue bit is getting removed, and some people welcome this change, saying that Sally is more cool, strong, and badass now, and that showing a woman staying in abusive relationship in hopes of protecting her kid is not okay for current audiences.

To the people who are saying that Sally is more cool, badass, and strong now…

…FUCK YOU.

And here’s why.

I cannot even begin to describe how awful and disgusting it is to imply that book-Sally was weaker, less cool, and less strong because she struggled to stand up to her abuser, struggled to balance the need to leave an abusive relationship and the desire to protect her kid, and found herself making difficult choices in an abusive household. I am baffled that people think that this is an okay thing to say in the year of 2023, going on to 2024.

Are all of you shitting me right now? Are you seriously fixing your fingers to imply that book-Sally is inferior to show-Sally because her story reflects an ugly truth about how hard it is for mothers to stand up to their abusers while trying to look out for their children? Are you all fucking joking?

I have never felt so angry to see so many people diminish what book-Sally went through, and claim that it would be bad to depict something like that on TV. I know what Sally goes through is triggering and not fun to watch, but it is the very fact that her story reflects an ugly truth about what many wives go through that I think her struggle with an abusive husband is so fucking important!

Yes, we don’t want to encourage victims to stay in abusive relationships. Yes, we don’t want to make women feel like the only way to be a good, loving mother is to endure bad situations for your kids. Yes, we want to make it clear to mothers that they, under no circumstances, are obligated to endure an abuser. HOWEVER, the ugly and unfortunate reality is that many mothers have such a strong desire to protect their kids that they will find themselves making this unfortunate choice, and that is not a truth we should shy away from. A depiction of difficult choices that victims feel like they have to make is not necessarily an endorsement of that choice, but rather, a realistic reflection of what people go through.

And I will be DAMNED if I sit here quietly and watch so many of you tread into victim-blamey territory, or imply that book-Sally is somehow inferior because she struggled with the courage to leave and accept the risk of Percy not having Gabe’s protective smell. I literally saw a comment on Reddit where someone was trying to defend the change, and they typed out the sentence “You know what’s not badass? Staying in an abusive relationship.”

As if most abuse victims have the full freedom, resources, and support to just pick up and leave whenever. As if every choice that an abuse victim makes isn’t being made in the context of danger, pressure, stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, and so much more. As if an abused woman’s top priority should be to look “badass” instead of trying to take care of herself.

I am a proud Book-Sally defender, and I will happily fight anyone who dares to imply she isn’t as strong or badass as show-Sally because standing up to her abuser wasn’t easy for her. I am extremely disappointed in this fandom for this ugly language regarding book-Sally in comparison to show-Sally.

And quite frankly? All of you can kiss my ass.

[turtle-paced]

sorry for the subject matter but am I reading cerseis chapters wrong? Did Robert marry her and then immediately straight after wedding begin r-wording her and hitting her? Or was it he upset her during consummation, begun cheating on and ignoring her, then publicly shaming and neglecting her, then she naturally withdrew and revenge cheating with Jaime on greenstone six/seven months after wedding, then Robert begun r-wording her, then he begun the other physical and mental abuse? Again sorry for the subject matter I don’t know which way I’m suppose to read it

This is tumblr, not insta or whatever, and it's okay to type out the full word: rape. Since the site's not filtering it automatically I'd actually encourage you to use the uncensored word so that people can filter it accurately according to their own needs. Give the choice and the power to others, reduce the chances of an unpleasant accident from using a euphemism that someone hasn't put on their blacklisted tags.

I also write about ASoIaF. There's no need to apologise for asking me questions about the disturbing or upsetting content in the books!

Putting the answer to your question under a cut for the content, though.

The timelines aren't crystal clear. Robert was a shitty sexual partner to Cersei even on their wedding night. Given who we're talking about here, it seems unlikely the two had an honest talk about what went wrong and how they planned to deal with it in future once Robert had sobered up. While Robert made attempts to emotionally engage with Cersei at the start of their marriage, that consisted of "things he'd find fun" rather than "address Cersei's valid issues." Valid issues like the fact that he's raping Cersei regularly. Per Cersei VII AFFC, early in their marriage he was raping her at least once every two weeks. I seriously doubt he asked her.

As time went on, Robert found even those paltry efforts to deal with Cersei too much. The public cheating cranked up, the rapes became less frequent. I suspect also that this is where the physical abuse started. Personally, I think the rationale behind Robert's repeated rapes changed over time. The early rapes I suspect were Robert being horny and selfish and entitled; the later ones, the infrequent ones, I think were Robert's expression of his sheer hatred for his wife and his desire to 'put her in her place'.

Throughout this, Cersei is presumably continuing at least an emotional affair with her brother, even if the physical side was dialed down a bit initially (most likely due to scrutiny of a young queen who hadn't produced an heir for the king yet). Her relationship with Jaime is obviously a longer-standing thing. I've written before that I think Cersei initiates particular sexual encounters with Jaime over her anger with Robert's violations and abuse, while she continues the affair with her twin due to deeper-seated, non-Robert-related issues.

The timelines and progression aren't clear here not just because GRRM is bad at timelines. None of the characters have the language to describe spousal abuse or their need for consent. We're left with the vibes, the impression of selfishness and power taking Robert from a jerk to a monster.

[kaaedey]

genshin comfort masterlist

there were too many so I made a seperate post

SINGLE CHARACTER

Taking a blow for Aether during the Golden House fight

s/o comforting aether after he suffers a nightmare

Reader wakes up with a nightmare that leaves them crying/panicking. (venti)

Stormy Weather (venti)

Proud of Your Smile (bennett)

coming home after a bad day (bennett)

Diluc comforts a depressed reader (diluc)

Comfort HCs (diluc)

abusive parents (diluc)

sick (diluc)

making up after a fight (diluc)

seeing you get hit (diluc)

diluc is worried when you come home late from an expedition, you do all you can to comfort him

Bruised In Silence (diluc)

Just Enough (diluc)

𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐜 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Diluc Caring For a Sick Reader

Diluc cuddles after reader has had a long, rough day

dont go. (diluc)

touch (diluc)  

bleeding (diluc)  

really bad week (diluc)

Harsh Words (diluc)

enough (diluc)

I Love You So (diluc)

when it's lonely (diluc)

when you sleep on the couch after an argument (diluc)

picking you up and putting you somewhere safe (diluc)

wipe your tears (kaeya)

he’s hurt (kaeya)

comfort (kaeya)

when you hold me (kaeya)

taking a hit for him (kaeya)

seeing you get hit (kaeya)

Comfort HCs (kaeya)

comfort hcs (kaeya)

Overworked (kaeya)

its all a mask (kaeya)

hypothermia (kaeya)

taking care of your fever (kaeya)

kaeya comforts you in a moment of weakness

Sick Darling (kaeya)

Protecting his s/o from another man (albedo)

Overtime (albedo)

Taking care of a weak overworker reader (albedo)

Albedo wakes up from a grisly nightmare

s/o who has health issues/poor health (albedo)

reactions (albedo)

in health and sickness (albedo)

NOTHING LEFT TO SAY (albedo)

sweet nothings (albedo)

seeing you get hit (albedo)

lab accident (albedo)

When you get sick easily (venti)

He Comes Home to Find You Crying (venti)

insecure reader (childe)

Nights like these (childe)

holy sick (childe)

Childe promised to love you always, but sometime changed when Lumine step foot into Liyue

you get injured (childe)

when you get sick easily (childe)

seeing you get hit (childe)

holding on by a thread (childe)

reader is feeling insecure (childe)

alarm (childe)

argument (childe)

someone has hurt reader in the past (childe)

Where did these bruises come from (childe)

accidentally hurting you during an argument (childe)

patching you up (childe)

Childe’s Anger

you get injured (xiao)

getting hurt (xiao)

Harsh Words (xiao)

His Reaction to Your Ex (xiao)

Fainting HCS (xiao)

seeing you get hit (xiao)

in your dreams (xiao)

again, if I called out your name? (xiao)

he finds his s/o bandaging their wounds and gets into a fight with them until he confesses he’s scared of losing them (xiao)

harsh words (xiao)

sudden fright (xiao)

watching you get injured (xiao)

ice cold. (xiao)

Xiao Comforting you and your doubtness

Symphony for the broken (xiao)

She is my woman. If you touch her even with the tip of your finger, this sword will cut your throat (xiao)

Insecurity (zhongli)

seeing you get hit (zhongli)

Guizhong (zhongli)

no vision (zhongli)  

Memories Like Dust (zhongli)

arguments (zhongli)

burnout (zhongli)

lover’s morning tea (gaming)

When you think he doesnt love you anymore (ayato)

2:28 am (ayato)

look at me (ayato)

Hold me Tight (ayato)

Coming Home Late (kazuha)

letting you cry into his chest (kazuha)

argument repercussions (kazuha)

Safe In His Arms (kazuha)

Taking care of sick reader (kazuha)

kazuha confesses his love to you, but you don't take it seriously (kazuha)

Comforting you after a nightmare (Thoma)

wait for me, okay? (Thoma)

you're insecure about yourself (Itto)

If someone is trying to ambush you he will hold you close, and whisper that you’ll be ok (cyno)

Desert Scum (cyno)

𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐦 (cyno)

taking care of sick reader (scaramouche)

calming reader down (scaramouche)

Please hold me (scaramouche)

Bandages (scaramouche)

Scaramouche Finding out That You’re Being Abused

his s/o being harmed because of their relationship (scaramouche)

The Meaning of Tears (scaramouche)

kissing his insecurities away (scaramouche)

Oh no. Please don't cry (scaramouche)

are you jealous yet? (scaramouche)

Idiocy (scaramouche)

not what it seams (scaramouche)  

forevermore (scaramouche)  

Tainted (scaramouche)

how stupid it must be to get unwell (scaramouche)

kiss it better! (scaramouche)

𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐜: 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤

s/o who passes out (scaramouche)

saving scaramouche after the battle

You're finally home. (tighnari)

Why didn't you tell me you were hurt? (tighnari)

take it easy (tighnari)

Am I Annoying? (tighnari) 

Comforting You After a Bad Day (tighnari)

misunderstanding (tighnari)

you get injured while on duty as a forest ranger and tighnari isn’t so happy about it

Wrapped up (tighnari)

intense phobia of anything medical related (dottore)

Dottore treating your fatal wounds

Dottore with a very sick s/o

𝐅𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥 (Alhaitham)

just look at me, forget everything else (Alhaitham)

taking off your ring during a fight (Alhaitham)

silent treatment (Alhaitham)

when you sleep on the couch after an argument (Alhaitham)

affirming word. (Alhaitham)

rigor (Alhaitham)

alhaitham resorts to lying on top of you in order to get you speaking to him again.

how to woo the acting grand sage 101 (Alhaitham)

burned out (Alhaitham)

Into the Sky of Artificial Stars (Alhaitham)

when you sleep on the couch after an argument (Alhaitham)

𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (Dottore)

fragile reader (Dottore)

Patching Your Wounds (kaveh)

𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 

It's raining again (Neuvilette)

injured (Neuvilette)

Melancholy (Neuvilette)

arguments and odd positions (Lyney)

A Slight of Hand Makes Colour (Lyney)

when he couldn’t perform (Lyney)

lyney being a sucker for you

just yours (Lyney)

lunch break (wriothesley)

you're mad at him (wriothesley)

wrio’s spouse winds up in prison

How to Steal the Duke's Heart 101 (wriothesley)

you're dating who!? (wriothesley)

feverish (wriothesley)

i'm unglued, thanks to you (wriothesley)

hugs and kisses (wriothesley)

I’m tired (wriothesley)

distance (wriothesley)  

just to sit outside your door. (wriothesley)

MULTIPLE CHARACTERS

he boys witnessed the reader’s panic attack for the first time (Aether, Kaeya, Razor, and Chongyun)

comfort hcs (venti, kaeya, xiao) (aether, baal, ganyu, childe)

take me into your loving arms (diluc, xiao, zhongli, kaeya, childe)

Period comfort (Aether, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Venti, Razor, Bennet, Xiao, Zhongli, Kazuha, Ayato, Gorou, Itto, Heizou)

Helping you on your period (Diluc, Zhongli, Childe and Baizhu)

reader who's on their period (alhaitham, kaveh, tighnari and cyno)

just a little something for the pain (Albedo, Al-Haitham, Ayato, Cyno, Gorou, Kaveh, Kazuha, Scaramouche/Wanderer, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli)

They comfort you when you’re down (Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Thoma, Xiao, Itto, Kazuha, Gorou, Tomo)

s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown (Scaramouche, Albedo, Childe)

how would you like your hug? (Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Cyno, Diluc, Kaeya, Kazuha, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Xiao and Zhongli)

words of comfort (diluc, wanderer, tartaglia, xiao)

comforting you (ayato, thoma, and scaramouche)

Comfort (Albedo and Bennett)

comfort (Childe, La Signora and Scaramouche)

How They Comfort You (Kaeya, Diluc, Albedo, Childe, Zhongli, Xiao, Kazuha, Venti, Thoma)

how they comfort you ( ayaka, gorou, kazuha, thoma, yoimiya)

comforting you after a bad day (diluc, thoma, kazuha, childe and xiao)

Worried (Aether, Albedo, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli)

touchy (thoma, xiao, gorou)

when you tell them about your boundaries after being teased that they’re breaking up with you (kaeya, thoma)

It's going to be okay. I know things are tough for you right now, but I promise you that it will pass over (Albedo, Kaeya, Diluc, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Venti, and Thoma)

What they’re like comforting you (Childe, Zhongli, Xiao)

Thank you for being my safe space (Diluc, Childe, Heizou, Xiao, and Kazuha)

Comforting s/o (diluc and kaeya)

Tired & overworked (aether, xiao, scaramouche)

don’t forget to eat! (kazuha, heizou, cyno, tighnari, wanderer)

When you forget to eat (tighnari, alhaitham, kaeya, gorou, heizou)

𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 (Kazuha, Scara and Xiao)

When you’re tired (Thoma, Diluc, Xiao, Kazuha, Itto, Childe)

comfort headcanons (childe, diluc, kaeya, and zhongli)

how they react when you get stood up (diluc, kaeya, childe)

comfort when you’re down (venti, baizhu, childe, and zhongli)

how they comfort their s/o (dainsleif, kaeya, zhongli, and Diluc)

solace in one's embrace (diluc, kaeya, albedo, childe, zhongli, xiao)

s/o with anxiety (childe, kaeya, Dainsleif, and xiao)

Their favorite ways to comfort you (Neuvillette, Childe, Alhaitham)

touch starved (xiao, heizou, kazuha, wanderer, aether, venti)

comforting you when you cry (aether, albedo, amber, ayaka, baal, barbara, beidou, bennett, childe, chongyun, dainsleif, diluc, diona, eula, fischl, ganyu, gorou, hu tao, jean, kazuha, kaeya, keqing, klee, kokomi, lisa, lumine, miko, mona, ningguang, noelle, qiqi, razor, rosaria, sara, sayu, scaramouche, sucrose, thoma, venti, xiangling, xiao, xingqiu, xinyan, yanfei, yoimiya, zhongli)

His reaction to seeing you cry (Aether, Albedo, Ayato, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli)

Crystal tears (Thoma, Xiao, Scaramouche, Itto)

When You Cry (Aether, Albedo, Kaeya, Diluc, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli, and Childe)

Genshin boys reaction to finding you crying due to a person (Childe, Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, Scaramouche)

comforting the reader after they cry because of their family (zhongli, xiao)

Comforting You After Making You Cry (Diluc and Xiao)

are you leaving? are you leaving me? (Aether, Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli)

the genshin men find you crying in solitude (diluc, kazuha, thoma, scaramouche)

Sudden Tears (Diluc, Zhongli, Kaeya)

when they see your tears (Venti, Albedo, Childe, Diluc)

when they see you cry for the first time (Diluc, Kaeya)

His reaction to seeing you cry for the first time (Albedo, Arataki Itto)

seeing you cry for the first time (xiao, zhongli, scara, cyno, alhaitham, kaeya)

Genshin Boys Babying You After You Cry All Day (Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli, Xiao)

seeing you cry for the first time (Thoma, Kaveh, Kaeya, and Childe)

eyes don’t lie (xiao, childe, scaramouche)

𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 (zhongli, childe, kazuha, kaeya)

His reaction to someone badmouthing you (Aether, Albedo, AYATO, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli)

when they walk in on someone else being mean to you (Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Cyno, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli)

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

Frustration (Albedo, Kaeya, Zhongli)

Depressed S/O (Diluc and Zhongli)

bad day (diluc, kaeya)

you flinched away (kazuha, beidou, kaeya, diluc)

S/O flinching away from them (Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Xiao, and Scaramouche)

Flinching from their touch (Itto, Scaramouche, Childe, Zhongli, Kazuha, Diluc, Kaeya)

Watch your mouth (Kaeya, Diluc, Xiao)

Hands Off (Kaeya, Zhongli, Albedo)

a bothersome man keeps trying to flirt with you ( alhaitham, childe, cyno, heizou, kazuha, scaramouche, tighnari, and xiao)

𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘗𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘈𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 (zhongli, ayato, cyno, itto, thoma)

Depressed S/O (Albedo, Kaeya, Childe, Xiao, Diluc and Zhongli)

The Sound of Thunder (albedo, childe, kazuha, scaramouche, venti, xiao, zhongli)

Finding out that your reputation wasn't the best (Zhongli, Diluc, Childe, and Kaeya)

meeting your awful parents (zhongli, childe, and kaeya)

there for you (Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Cyno, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli)

someone's creeping you out (Al-Haitham, Cyno, Tighnari, Childe, Wanderer)

They Save You From a Creep (diluc, kaeya, alhaitham, ayato, cyno, tighnari)

When they find out you have toxic/abusive parents (Scaramouche, Kaedehara Kazuha, Xiao, Kaeya Alberich, Diluc Ragnvindr, Venti, and Lisa, Gorou, Thoma, Tartaglia, and Itto)

when you give them the silent treatment (scaramouche, kazuha, childe, xiao)

having your vision being taken away for a ceremony (gorou, kazuha, thoma)

until i heal (diluc, venti, zhongli, and thoma)

What would you do if I disappeared? (Aether, Albedo, Bennett, Chongyun, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Razor, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli)

short scenarios on how they take care of you when you’re down with a cold (kazuha, ayato, thoma, itto, baizhu)

their s/o gets really sick (childe, xiao, diluc)

When you're in pain (Kaeya Alberich, Childe, Xiao, Scaramoche, Venti)

s/o having an upset stomach because of anxiety (kaeya, diluc, venti)

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (scaramouche, xiao, tighnari, cyno) (diluc, thoma, kazuha, childe)

Sick SO (Childe, Diluc, Zhongli)

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐅𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐞/𝐖𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

sick s/o (albedo, kaeya, xiao)

s/o that faints (albedo, diluc, and jean) (kaeya and childe) (zhongli, xiao, and baizhu)

Their S/O Collapsing from Pushing Themselves Too Hard (Kaeya, Childe, and Xiao)

S/o with a tendency to faint (Tartaglia, Xingqiu and Chongyun)

Genshin Boys Taking Care of You When You’re Sick (Xiao, Childe, Zhongli, Venti, Diluc, Kaeya)

genshin boys taking care of you when you're sick (childe, venti, xiao, zhongli)

when you’re sick (diluc, kaeya, childe and zhongli)

taking care of you when you're sick (xiao, albedo, diluc, kaeya, childe)

taking care of a sick s/o (diluc and kaeya)

them taking care of you while you’re sick (xiao, childe, and kazuha)

ANEMO BOYS WITH A S/O THAT FAINTS A LOT

taking care of you when you're sick (diluc, ayato, wanderer, thoma, gorou, tighnari, cyno, childe, kaeya, venti, heizou, xiao, zhongli, kazuha, albedo, itto)

let me take care of you (Aether, Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Diluc, Gorou, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli)

when you’re sick (tighnari, alhaitham, kaeya)

you're sick (albedo, childe, scaramouche, tighnari)

𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗸 ( kaveh, albedo, dainsleif)

You get sick (Ayaka, Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli)

a spoonful of sugar.(childe. diluc. scaramouche)

migraine comfort (kaveh & baizhu)

how your boyfriend takes care of you when you feel under the weather (xiao, tighnari, childe, cyno)

when you're sick (Heizou, Kazuha, Xiao, Scara)

turns out you got a cold (alhaitham, diluc, kazuha, wanderer)

under the weather (heizou, thoma, tighnari, dottore, and childe)

attempting to hide your fever from them (diluc, scaramouche, childe, itto)

When you have a low self esteem (childe, kaeya)

of rippling skin (kaeya alberich, childe, zhongli, xiao, jean gunnhildr, lisa minci)

S/o’s birthday but locks themselves in their rooms because they don’t feel special (albedo, scaramouche, xiao)

reader who loathes showing weakness (childe and zhongli)

Even though you’re also doing your best helping people, they're only thanking Lumine/Aether (xiao, venti)

calling them out for spending too much time with lumine (Albedo, Ayato, Childe, Diluc, Gorou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Scaramouche, Thoma, Venti, Xiao, Zhongli)

Forgetting about you (Kaeya, Childe, Thoma)  

insecure (zhongli, diluc, albedo)

s/o who is self conscious about their stretch mark (Xiao, Zhongli, Albedo and Venti)

S/O who Hides Their Scars (Zhongli and Childe)

doesn’t think they’re worthy of them (diluc, xiao, and childe)

thinking that they're losing interest (albedo, xiao, venti, diluc)

reader that feels like a second choice (zhongli, kaeya, Childe, and xiao)

S/O Who Insults Themselves (Diluc and Kaeya)

Them reacting to their s/o saying they want to die (Dainsleif, Diluc and Zhongli)

someone talking down on you (Diluc, Ayato and Tighnari)

you can do it! (albedo, kaeya, childe, zhongli and diluc)

Them reacting to their s/o saying they want to die (Zhongli, Diluc, Scaramouche) (Xiao, Childe, Venti)

Genshin men reacting to hating compliments (Scaramouche, Al haitham, Kazuha)

aren’t you tired of me? (scaramouche, xiao)

not good enough for you (ayato, childe, cyno, diluc, tighnari, and wanderer)

your sister is the favored child of the family (Heizou; Thoma; Alhaitham)

s/o who feels excluded (Kazuha, Venti, Scaramouche, Heizou, Xiao)

tacenda (alhaitham, diluc, xiao)

ordinary (childe, venti)

jealousy, jealousy. (thoma, albedo)

could you be seen with me and still act proud? (Xiao, Childe, Wanderer, Zhongli)

festered wounds (zhongli, al haitham, wriothesley)

more than this (diluc, xiao, and kaveh)

archons forbid (zhongli, xiao, childe)

jealous reader gets upset (itto , thoma)

phonophobia (childe, diluc)

nightmares (pantalone, dottore, arlecchino)

their darling had a nightmare (Kaeya, Childe, Tohma)

Comfort after a nightmare (Tighnari, Cyno)

When Thunder Strikes (Albedo, Childe, Xiao, Kaeya, Chongyun, Xingqiu)

nightmares (zhongli and tartaglia)

s/o having a nightmare (Xiao, Zhongli, Razor and Venti)

nightmares (Childe, Albedo, Xiao)

nightmare (Childe, Albedo, Xiao, Diluc)

A Horrid Dream (Zhongli, Xiao, Childe)

comforting you after a nightmare headcanons (albedo, diluc, childe, kaeya, xiao, zhongli)

Genshin boys comforting you after you have a nightmare that they died (Xiao, Scaramouche, Childe, Albedo)

When you wake up from a Nightmare (alhaitham, baizhu, pantalone)

sleep my love (Dainsleif, Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao)

injured s/o coming home after a commission (childe, xiao)

Reader gets abducted (Diluc, Xiao)

s/o getting hurt (diluc and kaeya)

tending to their injuries (thoma, itto, childe)

tending to their injuries (ayato, kazuha, xiao)

Injury (Albedo, Childe, Diluc) (Kaeya, Ningguang, Xiao, Zhongli)

someone kidnapped both y/n, and one of the tall boys, and y/n starts getting worried, and scared (zhongli, childe, kaeya, diluc)

their s/o gets kidnapped (Scaramouche, Diluc, Raiden, Cyno)

S/O is attacked for associating with them (gorou, itto, sara)

Saving you from drowning (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Albedo and Chongyun)

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐇𝐢𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 (xiao, kazuha, heizou, scaramouche)

when he accidentally injures you (xiao, albedo, bennett)

seeing you severely injured and badly hurt after doing a commission (itto, diluc, xiao, aether, pantalone)

You Get Injured (Aether, Kaeya, Diluc, Venti, Razor, Xiao, Xingqiu, Zhongli, and Childe)

Injured protecting them in battle (Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

Tending to him while he is injured (Diluc, Kaeya, Scaramouche, Xiao)

Harbingers With Hurt S/O

You’re Being Abused (Diluc, Kaeya, Xiao, and Childe)

S/O who Shields Them From an Attack (Xiao, Zhongli, Diluc, and Childe)

Reader got hurt while exploring Dragonspine (Kaeya, Albedo, and Venti)

maybe you'll understand when something happens to me and I don't ever come back (zhongli, childe, albedo and kaeya)

can you help? (Childe, Diluc)

Genshin Boys and How They Would React to Seeing You Get Hurt (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao)

getting severely injured (kaeya, albedo, venti)

they accidentally hurt you (bennett, razor, amber, diluc, xiao)

just a scratch (childe, diluc, xiao)

Tending to the Genshin Boys After They Get Hurt (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao)

you patch them up (albedo, childe, xiao, zhongli)

You got injured (Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Childe)

their s/o doesn't know how to swim (Kaeya, Diluc)

Them reacting to walking in on their s/o self-harming (Albedo, Xiao)

Reader Gets Hypothermia (Diluc, Xiao and Childe)

when you come back hurt from an expedition (Xiao, Kazuha, Zhongli)

You Get Hurt in Battle (Scaramouche and Childe)

reader pushing aether and kazuha (separate) from baal's attack during the archon quest

i’ve got my eye on you (xiao, kazuha, tighnari, cyno, heizou, albedo, wanderer/scaramouche, venti, gorou) (itto, diluc, zhongli, ayato, tartaglia, thoma, kaeya)

who hurt you (Xiao, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Kazuha, Tighnari)

cleaning injuries (Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo)

a commission gone wrong (Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli)

them when you get severely injured (zhongli, kaeya, childe, and diluc)

It’s my turn to protect you (Aether, Scaramouche, Childe)

tending to their injuries (cyno, alhaitham, tighnari)

blurred lines (kaeya, yelan, scaramouche, ayato, cyno, dottore, and alhaitham)

patching you up after a serious battle (xiao, scaramouche, zhongli, and alhaitham)

their reactions to you showing up with an injury (wriothesley, neuvillette, baizhu, alhaitham, xiao)

karma is my boyfriend (cyno, alhaitham, wanderer, childe, diluc, kaveh)

getting into an argument (zhongli, kaeya)

Dainsleif and Venti Getting Into an Argument With Reader

Xiao and Zhongli Lose Their Patience With the Reader

argument headcanon (diluc, kaeya and childe)

Careless Words (Albedo, Childe, Xiao)

fights with him (xiao, albedo, kazuha)

You faint during an argument/disagreement (Tartaglia, Diluc, Zhongli)

collapsing consciousness (heizou, ayato, xiao)

arguments (xiao, zhongli, albedo)

Disappearance (Diluc, Razor, Xiao)

you banish your s/o to the couch (alhaitham, cyno, itto, thoma)

argument hc's (diluc, kaeya and childe)

argument headcanons (diluc, zhongli, and albedo)

Arguments with their s/o (diluc, kaeya, childe, zhongli, xiao, albedo)

𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 (xiao, heizou) (kaeya, alhaitham) (scaramouche, yelan)

argument repercussions (kaeya, xiao, diluc, and albedo)

arguing with their s/o (diluc and xiao)

To Misunderstand, To Reconnect (Xiao, Childe, Kaeya)

accidentally snapping at you (kaeya and xiao)

Don’t you dare turn your back on me. (Albedo, Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya, Tartaglia, Xiao, Zhongli)

stood up. (ayato & alhaitham)

he said something hurtful (childe & zhongli)

he makes you cry (xiao, albedo, tighnari, wanderer)

Was i really nothing to you? (Albedo; Cyno; Alhaitham; Kazuha)

you decided to sleep on the couch (alhaitham, diluc, kaeya, and zhongli)

They make you cry (xiao, kazuha, scaramouche)

From Me, For You (childe, alhaitham)

Let’s stop seeing each other (Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo)

I’m not going to apologize for caring about you! (Albedo, Diluc, Kaeya, Tartaglia, Xiao, Zhongli)

Making you cry during a fight (Scaramouche, Yae, Kaeya)

don't say anything else just stay (diluc, xiao, kazuha, tighnari, freminet, dottore)

afraid of loud arguments (Diluc, Kaveh, Ayato)

dry your tears (diluc, kaeya, childe, scaramouche)

for all that it’s worth (childe. xiao. alhaitham & cyno)

[offbrandkyoya]

69 crashing down

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tw physical/verbal abuse, panic attack, dissociation

Scaramouche stretches while looking at himself in the mirror. He felt the urge to vomit all over again. He blushed when he remembers the fact he threw up as you were on the phone.

“How embarrassing…” He mumbled. Scaramouche is so tired. They are finally in their first destination for the first day of tour but they still need to practice beforehand. He doesn’t want to do the concert but it’s his own fault for joining. Scaramouche rummages through his closet to find a suitable outfit for himself. Anything black is his style. Scaramouche takes out the outfit to wear for the first day and places it on his bed. He quickly goes to take shower to wash out the alcohol that’s still in his system.

The cold water hits his head and he begins to shampoo himself. Very quiet but relaxing. Scaramouche’s mind wanders to you. He wants the days to go by quick so he can see you again. A small smile makes his way to his lips. He kind of wished he was sober when talking to you but it is what it is.

Scaramouche takes the time to remember last night. He recalls the details you’ve told him and he feels more awkward. Scaramouche closes his eyes tight to try and remember more. Suddenly, he opens his eyes. A memory appeared before he threw up. “I love you.” Those words replayed in his head. ‘I…I told Yn I loved them.’

Scaramouche stands there in shock. How come yn didn’t tell him anything about it? Were they embarrassed? Scaramouche bit his lip. Did he mess up again? Was yn not ready? But he thought they were doing well. Maybe he was rushing it? Scaramouche sighs as he turns off the water and gets out the tub.

A knock on his door, “Scaramouche, hurry so we can go practice.” Venti says and Scaramouche responds with an ok.

Scaramouche dries himself, puts on his clothes, and checks himself out in the mirror so that he looks appropriate. Scaramouche leaves his room and heads to the practice room. The boys are all in a tour bus and yet, they’re forced to walk to the practice room. How pitiful. DCKZ are located far away so that they don’t “cheat.” Scaramouche yawns as he entered the room and it was rather tense. He can tell that there was something going on between Heizou and Kazuha. He didn’t say anything about it though.

Venti notices as well but he doesn’t have time for relationship problems. “Okay, so,” Venti gathers the boys attention and puts on their playlist from his phone. “We’ll start off with our latest song and make our way to the oldest.” They nod and begin the dance rehearsal. It’s early but there isn’t much they can do about it. Venti instructs them to keep them in check.

Listening to him, Scaramouche remembers what the manager said about how Venti isn’t a fit leader. Scaramouche calls bullshit. They continue to practice and Kazuha and Heizou are now focused. ‘What a relief.’ The rest thinks.

Suddenly, their manager walks in. She doesn’t say anything but watch them. They all seem on edge by this but Venti is unfazed. He continues to guide them with the manager watching. She claps her hands, “Stop.” They do and face her. “What’s wrong?” Venti asks. “What’s wrong?” She scoffs. “You’re sloppy. That’s what’s wrong.” She scowls but Venti doesn’t react. “Seriously, what is this?” She grabs his phone and scrolls through the songs. “Ma’am-“ “You really think you’re going to wow the audience in this order?! Like, seriously, no one cares about the old stuff!”

Venti frowns, “Of course they do! Our fans love it!” “Back then. This is the FUTURE! Not the past.” She throws his phone at him and he, thankfully, catches it. “Venti, you’re horrible at this! You can’t do anything right! How are the leader when you don’t know what’s good and what’s not?!” Venti looks at his phone to clean the screen. However, the manager did not like that. She sprints towards him and grabs onto his phone. “Hey-!” “Listen to me when I’m talking!” “I am!” She tries to take his phone off his hands but Venti is stronger than he looks.

The boys make there way towards them to stop. Kazuha and Aether grabs onto the manager with the three others help Venti. “Please let go!” Kazuha says. “Venti didn’t mean any harm!” “Let go of me! How dare you treat me like this!” She lets go but now she’s aiming at Kazuha. She grabs his arms and shakes him. “You think just because I’m mad at Venti doesn’t mean you’re safe!” Kazuha squirms and Heizou rushes to them. “What the fuck?! Let him go!” He grabs onto her coat and pulls on it. Scaramouche doesn’t know what to do. He starts to hyperventilate and covers his ears. Venti goes to his aid to help him calm down.

Aether pulls on her arm. “Please let him go! We’re sorry! We’ll do it your way!” The manager lets go of Kazuha and slaps Aether across his face. “Enough! You’re all such children!” She shouts and Aether grabs his cheek while Kazuha holds him. Something snapped in Xiao. In a blink of an eye, he pushes the manager and starts yelling at her. “YOU BITCH! AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE DONE FOR YOU!”

“Xiao stop!” Venti yells but Xiao didn’t listen. The manager growls and grabs Xiaos shirt. “YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!” Everything was blurry for Scaramouche. The shouting was overwhelming for him. Everyone else wished they couldn’t see it but it happened anyway.

Xiao was fighting with the manager, pulling her hair while she hit his face. Venti kept telling him to stop but he just wouldn’t. Aether finally composed himself and shouted, “Xiao, stop!” Xiao froze and looks straight at Aether, who was pleading with tearful eyes. Xiao opens his mouth but couldn’t speak as he was thrown to the ground, followed by a crack.

Everyone froze and it was quiet. Nobody moved. Nobody moved until Xiao started to scream. They all huddled around him minus their manager and Scaramouche. There eyes widen in shock and gasped. Xiao has broken his leg.

Xiao continues to scream and cry. Aether quickly kneels next to him as he begins to cry too. “Its going to be okay, Xiao!” He grabs his hands as Xiao continues to scream in agony. Venti shakes as he tries to calm him down. He turns to his manage, “Call an ambulance!” She snaps out of it then analyzed the situation. “Right.” She pulls out her phone as she dials the number. “Hello, one of my clients broke his leg.” Scaramouche crouches down in a corner as he continues to cover his ears. He hates loud noises.

Kazuha notices him and he walks up to him, kneeling down. “Scaramouche, everything’s going to be okay.” His voice cracked but he had to stay strong. Scaramouche looks at him without a word. He didn’t know what he was saying but he understood that Kazuha was trying to comfort him. “I…” His voice his quiet and hoarse. “I want my mom…” Kazuha didn’t answer but pulled him into a hug. Scaramouche squeezes his eyes shut. “I want my mom.”

- um

- surprise

- !!!!!!!!!!!!!

- anyways hq trailer came out today I’m excited

- I LOVE BATTLE OF THE GARBAGE DUMP 🤭

🏷️ @sakiimeo @coquettemaiden @rmiyuki @kur44pika @theblueblub @jxxji0309 @dreamsofminnie @ohmyfinggod @redactedhimbo @kunisbeloved @akagism2 @sketcheeee @thefandomcrow @beriiov @thenightsflower @yukiipc @scaraapologist @scarletttcroww @samyayaya @crucnhice @monaypo1 @feiherp @myaaones @warcelia @hangecanweholdhands @yuminako @valiryyz @screechingxiaolover @tiddieshakeshownu @ilovechuuyaa @d4y-dr3am3r @dazaisfavgf @swivy123 @ganyusbrideee @sagegreenthinks @the-left-glove @wonderland-fan @kylexzz @kaoyamamegami @whycantscarabereal @rvoulte @eunchaeluvr @lxkeeeee @silvermah @baby-bread-in @yelleloww @magica-ren @itzblazekun @im-inlovewithy0u @featuredtofu @anastaxiah @ask-aph-tanzania @drmyday @what-just-happened-huh @xtobefreex @v4lerixxq

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - All the endings

March 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 3 of 8 - Only one of them is in a fuck buddy relationship, and it’s not King Moon-eyes Husband-material. This show is so damn good. I love it when high heat is used to serve the characters and the narrative, as well as us fans. (In other words, take away the sexualized part of this relationship and the whole story would fall apart.) I suppose we should pay attention to Uea’s rules since they will all be broken. Uea has a bit of a demanding spoiled prince thing going and I’m not mad about it. This may be the most neck-kissy couple ever, I’m so happy for them! Yet another  installment in “Thailand, please get that boy to a therapist.” This ep likely has lots of extras so I might watch IQ as well. Child abuse trigger btw. 

Moonlight Chicken (Weds YT) eps 7-8fin - It was a good last 2 eps, and I ended up actually liking the complexity of the messiness more than I thought I would - disaster queer authenticity isn’t usually my thing. (Japan taught me that lesson the hard way). All in all, a stellar a little offering from GMMTV, in the Not Me or ITSAY vein of “I question whether it’s actually BL but like it anyway.” Full review and rating below.

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) ep 12fin - The climax was rather predictably climatic (as it were). I love that Chopper shot his dad. Better aim next time, sweetheart? The cousins making up was sappy. Chopper & Ben were fine. Frankly, I’m not sure about PerthChimon’s chemistry, a bit nervous for their series now. And then Kdrama separation nation strikes again. Yawn. Question: Did the cute girl at Palm’s bar ever get her coconut juice? Full review and rating below. 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 1 of 10 - ForceBook in an office set boss/employee highly camp rom-com. Babe is a bit too slapstick for me, boss is a bit too creepy, and Book is def over egging the pudding. Well meaning chatterbox idiot is not my fav archetype. Bathroom meet cute? Huh. I don’t know. I don’t hate it, I guess?  

The Promise (Thai WeTV & YT) ep 1 of 10 - Popped into my YT feed so I gave it a try. Unexpectedly good! Phu & Nan are childhood bffs from middle school through college (almost lovers). Phu disappears just after graduation. After looking/waiting for him for ages, Nan gives up and self isolates, and the actual story takes place 10 years later. The arbitrary slapstick elements are unnecessary, disjoined, and rough. The show should have had the strength of its convictions just to be a serious drama. But it’s way better than expected (it’s about coffee, I love coffee) and no need to have watched the prequel miniseries Phupha | Nanfah. Phu’s granny and cohorts are THE BEST. Also elder queer rep. There better be a GREAT reason why Phu didn’t reach out to Nan or I will be seriously displeased. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) 3 of 10 - I kind of love Ken’s slightly idiot gay couple friends. (I do love all of the queer family we are getting these days.) They better not betray him! Still, this is one of those shows where, despite his competency, we haven’t really been given a reason to like Ken all that much. I’m not super invested in his grief or his new romance. The captions are BONKERS but the sex scenes are good. I hope LueKen deliver as well as DinKen. Gotta say, despite my grumbling, I did enjoy it more this week. 

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 1 of 10 - I am not a huge fan of the tsundere seme, especially if they are the older character. But this is a really good cast and for a pulp it’s actually okay acted and captioned. It’s cute. Campy. Old school Thai. I do like a flirty uke who knows what he wants. Lots of very prototypical tropes. Is it good? Well, no, but I’m still gonna watch it. 

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - Terrible subs again. They a hot couple but Itt is a revolting character, asshole rather than brat. Day is VERY sexy tho. This one is messy and rough and will likely involve cheating AND the amnesia trope. I might put it onto the binge pile. 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) eps 8-9 of 14 - TutorYim are cute. And nice to have decent music with Thai actors for a change. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) ep 1-2 of 8 - Oh my God, breaking up with a man because he picked the wrong restaurant for a holiday meal is v relatable, but the reaction ”how can you break up with me before we’ve eaten?” is the best thing ever. I may identify with our baby party boy hedonist more than any other BL lead ever presented. I adore how Korea is leaning into “out gay boys” these days. Love love love the gay bestie. This is on the New Employee end of the KBL spectrum, no bad thing. Not sure about the alcoholism angle tho. Still, this is a fun show! I don’t even mind the crash into me trope when combined with baby is a floppy drunk trope. 

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Weds Viki) ep 10fin (or 19&20) - Not at all surprised that Vincent (Sam? How many names does this man need?) was pulling a double cross, because from the credits we knew the pairs get along. Couple’s necklaces and a sweet make up sequence for the sides. Nice sex scene and manufactured drama for the mains. Ultra cheese fest ending for all including random H4 couple. Full review and rating below. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan GaGa) ep 3 of 6 - The first time sex scene from the past was sweet and well done. That said, a traditional BL romance is not what this story is doing. It’s about 2 people at different points in a romantic journey, one of whom has memories of a failed relationship (and associated baggage) and the other who does not (so is starting at fresh). It’s using high concept to explore this, but that means (this beaning Japan) HEA is on shakey ground. Also, still running a bit low energy for me. 

It’s Airing But ...

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - Kei Ichikawa's manga is getting a JBL adaptation. Weird distribution though, it started Feb 27 sequentially on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR video distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed: 

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea Thurs unknown, I check Viki Gaga iQIYI) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening.

Finished This Week 

My Beautiful Man 2 AKA Utsukushii Kare Season 2 

These two have such a great DS dynamic. Only Hira would apologize for fucking and wanting to fuck his own boyfriend, but doing it anyway. Talk about a service top with a humiliation fetish. Sheesh. The masochism is strong with this one. (Since I do not deal with humiliation fetishists well, the cringe factor got to me a little.) Still, pouty jealous Kiyoi is the cutest. [One flaw: The photographer dude should have been played by Kenta. Just a little joke.] 

SUMMATION 

All in all, this 2nd season didn’t blow me away the way the 1st did. It was quieter and more uniform in its narrative and messaging - thus more predictable. The basic relationship misunderstanding remained the same - all about value and self worth and how that’s assessed. The result is a dialogue between imposter syndrome and a parasocial relationship. If these 2 only had the language and framework of BDSM to understand each other, than they would, but they don’t so the story is us watching them suffer for it. But that’s part of the fun. Part of their fun too, I think, as if the fighting and misunderstanding is just another one of their many kinks. An engaging and solid second installment that was so consistent, I’m going to keep the rating consistent too. 9/10 

HIStory 5: Love in the Future 

High concept of a man from the past traveling to Covid times and getting involved with a spoiled rich kid soon to be CEO that ultimately made for a dull story. Sides were stellar but intentional miscommunication as a narrative driver never works for me. Good chemistry, nice sex scenes, and a cheesy ending (90% of the time) is Taiwan’s BL brand. I expected nothing less. But there is a little part of me that hoped for something more. 7/10 

Never Let Me Go 

Bodyguard romance where poor boy must watch over rich boy for family obligation reasons. Simple premise well executed with a few bumps that made it feel like it was trying to tackle too much (when it wasn’t). Still, an enjoyable show that benefited from being handed to PondPhuwin who did a stellar job with their roles and chemistry. Is it going into permanent rewatch rotation? No, but a solid GMMTV offering. 8/10 

Moonlight Chicken 

I enjoyed this complicated little show, even though it’s spectacularly messy gay with lots of shrapnel and authentic pain. I thought EarthMix turned in their most compelling performance to date. But it was GeminiFourth who stole my heart.  That said, the most interesting central relationship was that of Jim & Li Ming, their father-son angst mixed with evident affection made me tear up. This was more slice of life than it was BL, but it ended happily so I’m not mad at it. 8/10 

Gossip

Apparently Pavel (my love) has been added to the cast of Pit Babe, a Thai BL series I thought was defunked (it was supposed to be out in Jan). So I’m happy. I also put it back on the 2023 tracking sheet. 

Tia51 announced upcoming sampler pack Thai BL My Universe. Normally I don’t report on Thai announcements, as they are pure speculation, but this one is reported to feature 22 actors, 11 couples, 12 stories, and 24 episodes in August 2023. STOP OR YOU’LL GO BLIND. (FB page BLUpdate2020 has a full rundown of the 12 stories.) No MDL listing that I can find. Giving the War or Y peeps a run for their money? Or just epic Thai BL lever pulp-tastic insanity?

New Pinoy BL Stay announced, 6 eps featuring boys who unexpectedly meet in Los Angeles. More here.

In case you missed it 

Jeff Satur is leaving BeOnCloud. Honestly, who tf didn’t see this coming? He just dropped a MV with SHAUN (Steal The Show). Jeff is one of the biggest Thai indies and Shaun is legacy Kpop indie. Jeff was and is always more focused on singing and that’s busted a pair before. Frankly speaking, he's ambitious and doesn’t need BeOnCloud. I’m a big believer in breaking from an agency if you have the platform to go it alone. And just because he’d not repped by them doesn’t me he can’t still work with them, sheesh calm down KP fandom. (Honestly this seems to be my mantra since that damn show aired.) 

Next Week Looks Like This:

03/08 - Pastsenger (Thai Gaga) 12 eps- Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Cooper (My Engineer) both formerly paired with others, in a time travel paranormal that smacks of HIStory 5. Sunshine 90s kid travels to 2022, goes to university, encounters grumpy nerd.

03/09 - Our Dating Sim (Korea unknown) - What happens when two men, friends since schoo, meet again at work to create a dating simulation game together.

03/12 Future (Thai YouTube & Gaga?) 5 eps - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Fuse (the engineering student) is played by Boom from the En of Love and is kinda the same character (Field). I think we can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. (maybe March 19 international)

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

This Week in Subs of Qua?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I liked this scene in Moonlight Chicken so much I did a whole post about it. 

Chains of Heart the past relationship. can’t wait to see if they do as well with the present one. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Peacemaker by P1Harmony (I’m considering stanning this group because their rap line is insane, everyone can dance, Theo is beautiful, and Keeho is an adorable nut job with a great voice. Talk about a boy who should do BL, and probably would without a care in the world. Stop him though, these boys are gonna be the next Monsta X.) 

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

okay final amc interview with the vampire rewatch thoughts:

- I liked the pacing much better. the middle episodes felt like a slog to watch week by week but I think it’s much better suited to bingeing. there were still choices I didn’t love, but the plot was going at a consistent clip the entire time.

- sam reid and jacob anderson were both fantastic! galaxy brained takes on both characters. bailey bass.. her acting is good but I am too southern to be able to take that accent seriously 😭😭 it was painful

- lestat is still given more narrative dignity and power than I would like. he’s introduced having his own wealth and he is the one giving louis money as opposed to being the broke unwanted houseguest who invited himself. he doesn’t use claudia to babytrap louis, louis has to beg him to change her (hated this!). he is given a personal pawn in antoinette, and is allowed to see the murder attempt coming. I feel like sam reid brings the necessary vain, overeager desperation to the role to offset it, but the plot is still like that

- I’m still deeply unsatisfied with all of the choices they made with claudia. I think it’s a huge cop out to have louis save her from a fire that she 100% would not have survived otherwise. I missed the very key book element of it being louis who killed her and lestat who “saved” her by making her into a vampire. I also disliked how cleanly her relationship with lestat becomes one of hate after episode five. there’s zero mixed feelings and they’re both so on the same page about how much they hate each other. I get what they’re trying to do with “they’re too alike therefore they can’t stand each other” but that doesn’t preclude a more complicated dynamic

- I hated that all of claudia’s issues surrounding never growing up seemed to revolve around sex and romance. she’s given the sweet romance/almost romance that ends poorly and marks her slide into being more recklessly murderous and her dissatisfaction with vampirism. meanwhile there’s the OC vampire they invented to assault her… as a monkey’s paw curls situation I guess?? and to cement her vulnerability to other vampires. a lot of her arc feels so defined by men in a way that’s not really about her. it also doesn’t help that in casting an older teenage actress, it’s harder to buy that she would run into issues day to day with living on her own or passing as a young looking adult. idk she just felt particularly Written By A Man to me

- I’m also still unsure how I feel about the more literal domestic violence allegory. with daniel’s cynical quips about stockholm syndrome and abuse. or the way the big fight is framed when it looks like louis might leave lestat for claudia. I don’t mind them becoming violent with each other, it seems like that would be second nature to vampires who are killing every night. their relationship with violence would simply be different than a typical person’s. but then I think the fight’s framing was perhaps too typical to make sense for vampires? idk idk I like abuse narratives and I think interview as a story has always been in part about usurping an abuser so… seeing physical abuse… makes sense but this also felt too on the nose. so I am on the fence

- the pilot and the finale were the strongest episodes by far. I really appreciate this series’ dedication to style and atmosphere. it’s the first piece of contemporary vampire media in a while that feels like it actually wants to be about vampires

- I was shrieking at every single little hint at the larger vc lore, even when I knew full well it was coming. I’m honestly too attached to the first book so any loose show adaptation was destined to be prickly for me but I have zero reservations about the rest of the series. I’m so fucking excited to see it continue and cover more of the books!!! I will PASS OUT when we actually get to the theatre des vampires

- having the armand reveal confirmed makes the entire show so fucking insane???? I was watching this with maka and dolce who had NOT seen this before and it was such a struggle not to dissolve into hysterics every time he was in frame. like what deranged psychosexual nonsense???

- like louis describing being so desperately in love with lestat in excruciating detail while his current bf is literally always in the room?? the extent armand goes to to keep up the charade that he’s just an unassuming human ☺️ no reason to be suspicious at all ☺️☺️ it’s even funnier having the second season trailer out, knowing that he’s devised like an entire costume and sense of style for this rashid character purely to fuck with daniel 😭

[bloogers-boogers]

College AU hc:

Cartman is asexual and sex repulsed. He has a huge crush on Kyle that's pretty obvious to everyone around him. Kyle assumes that Cartman is just lusting after him and wants sex from him, but it's far from the truth. Ah yes, Cartman's homoerotic fantasy: holding hands, cuddling and hugs, how kinky lol.

I can see that, with how much it’s implied that Cartman’s has been sexually abused in the show he’ll probably prefer to stay away from anything related to intercourse. And of course eventually Kyle has to learn to be understanding of Cartman’s preferences. Tho I feel there’s gonna be alot of complications in their relationship because of this same issue but they’ll manage to overcome it after a brief time.

However I also see Kyle just cuddling Cartman after a huge fight they had because of this.

I see Cartman still not telling Kyle of being asexual just admitting his sex repulse but is never taken seriously because he tends to joke about it instead.

They were in middle of a makeout session while in bed and Kyle got turned on and just flipped Cartman over outta pure lust; he wasn’t being harsh but it was obvious what was on his mind as he plant small kisses on Cartman’s ears while grabbing his waist, in Kyles mind he was being sweet and romantic but ofcourse Cartman did not react well to it and kicked Kyle off shouting profanities at him as the shouting escalated.

“¡I get you want my hot body so damn much but that doesn’t give you the right to manhandle me!”

“¡I’m sorry, Cartman! I- I dont know what happened in me but I would have never gone further from that!”

“U huh, but you couldn’t just NOT flipped me over?? How the fuck am I suppose to trust you if you do shit like that!???”

“¡Fuck you, Eric! If you really see me capable of doing the shit those pigs did to you as a kid!”

*complete silence*

“You think…”

“What else do you expect me to believe? After you keep reacting like I’m about to rape you!”

“Kyle…” Cartman bites his down lip, he sighed defeated calming himself down as he rubs his face, “Kyle i don’t- I know you would never.. I- look, im sorry okay? I just.. don’t feel like going to that length.”

“Why not!? You keep dogging it and not explaining me why! Am I not good enough? Cause by this point I believe you find me disgusting.”

Cartman stares at Kyle in awe before walking towards him and holding on to his flushed cheeks, “Kyle I think you’re the most beautiful man out there..”

Cartman can hear Kyle gulp as he stares at him deeply into his eyes; listening to him attentively.

“I just don’t want to have sex, I find it disgusting.” He moves away, now arms crossed facing away from Kyle. “The act of two individuals taking off their clothes, rubbing against each other for fricción and some humping to gain pleasure .. I find it not only a humiliating display but a desperate act of attention.

When the most pleasurable thing you could receive is some warm hugs, kisses and hand holding. Isn’t that enough to please someone at whole? It’s enough for me.” He turns to look at Kyle; who now looks very confused. Cartman groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes, “Kyle I’m asexual you dumbass!”

“YOU’RE WHAT”

[workingmyheartaway]

Me trying to blog. Idk if anybody will even see this.

I think I’m the most pathetic person alive, there was this guy I heard about from my sister growing up and I finally shot my shot with him and he used me for sex throughout my younger years. I’ve always been slightly achey over him. He reminded me of myself to a level I can’t explain his birthday is the day before mine and we had the same demeanor. He became an addict like me and we both got sober but when he got sober he got fit and he got a really big ego. Me and him started talking again. And I can’t even express to you how magical it was, it started as a phone call and then it became everyday. I had just left an abusive relationship so I was stand off ish trying not to put too much of myself in it or be too much but everyday more and more he begged me and spent so much time and effort into assuring. Me that he did care about me and I could trust him. I thought since he was making as much effort as he did that it was safe. I was so fucking happy I woke up every morning to the sweetest fucking text messages and when I went and saw him he looked at me in a way no man had ever. He handled me with care the way nobody had ever touched me. I thought everything was perfect. But I was driving three hours to see him and I started to realize that he wasn’t making that drive for me ya know. Idk it got in my head and I started to notice that everyday he was getting kinda shorter. But he still was texting me sweet things and he was texting me a lot and everyday. He was my best friend above all I told him things I’d never told anybody and he did the same. He was understanding and caring. But then I found out I was pregnant. I panicked for weeks and the whole time he was calm and almost excited. Then one day I woke up to a message saying he loved me and could see a future with me. We picked out names for the baby and he assured me everything. Would be okay. I tried not to love him something deep down told me it wasn’t safe but I failed and he became so much to me. The very next morning after he told me he loved me I woke up to a text saying he just wanted to be co parents and he didn’t think he ever meant what he said he told me he didn’t think he ever liked me. It broke me to read that and know that I would now be without him so I relapsed. And I made a complete fool of myself. I begged for him to care about me and when he said he could t and didn’t want to do it anymore I told him to stop existing out of my life and never try to be a father…. He took me seriously. I’ve been blocked on everything for over a month. I’ve texted him from different apps updating him on the baby like he originally wanted I know that’s crazy of me but idk I just feel like he should know. I got a job serving and have spent every second trying to work my heart out and forget about him but lately I’ve had a few hours taken away due to overtime and I can’t get him off my mind I want to let him go so fucking bad. I always think I’m over it but then when the world slows down something inside me deeply aches physically I miss him so gd bad it takes my breathe away then I start to realize he shouldn’t have meant this much because I never meant anything to him. I forgot to add that a week after this went down and I was in mid relapse I got a message from a mutual friend where his location showed up in my town. The only other person he knows that lives here is his ex he never made that drive for me but he did for her and my for did that make me feel so worthless. I hate him but I don’t. Idk what to do or how to let go, I’ve been trying to replace him I know that’s not the answer but I can’t even find anybody I’m attracted to anymore… I can’t hold a conversation with anybody or care about them. I don’t care about anything anymore and idk what to do. I’ve never been so close to giving up as I am over a guy that never even gave a fuck about me. He used me once again and I fell for it I didn’t have enough respect for myself to see his intentions. Idk what to do and I’m scared that he ruined me for life.

[athetos]

I honestly have no fucking idea how I went to college for 4 straight years full time without dropping out. Undiagnosed narcolepsy and adhd, unmedicated, I spent multiple semesters not even on antidepressants, or worse, on ones that made me violently ill, had a month-long bout of a stomach disorder I didn’t even know I inherited from my dad, spent half that amount of time in an abusive relationship, plus a ton more of vastly complex and out of control interpersonal drama, like I barely survived at all tbh but I somehow managed to get a degree? And 3 fucking minors? By the time I was 22? I barely attended some of my classes, people were so used to me falling asleep in the hallways that they’d just step over me and put my coat on me like a blanket, I only passed a couple of classes because I cheated on exams and broke down in the professor’s office and they pitied me, but I fucking did it?

Like, if I went back and time and did it all over again, only this time properly medicated and with a real support group, I would probably have a fucking 4.0, be in 5 clubs, did that crazy double major I joked about, and my life would be so unrecognizable. I’d be in a PhD program right now at some prestigious university and… okay, let’s be real, I probably wouldn’t be making more money than I am right now because I’ve seen what they fucking pay grad students, but that’s just insane to me, how differently my life could have turned out. Or maybe it wouldn’t be different. Maybe it would be the same, or maybe it would even be worse. Like, I’m dating a milf who’s 9 inches taller than me, so maybe this is the best timeline.

Yet, it’s kind of… both funny and depressing to know how fucked I get right now if I don’t have my meds, even if I’m not in a depressive episode. I can barely function without them. I’m asleep more than I am awake, I can’t focus, I have no energy, and if I go more than just a few days without my antidepressants I have full-on mental breakdowns and am borderline-suicidal. So, this of course means 1 of 2 things must be true. Either I wasn’t this fucked up in college, and my disorders must have worsened over time, or I was this fucked up and still forced myself through a degree. The second is probably the most likely, to be honest. And you might be thinking, “Ash, can’t you just remember and compare your symptoms?” You have to understand that I was so unbelievably stressed at some points that huge chunks of time spanning weeks is permanently locked away in my Repressed Memory Vault, and I was also a victim of gaslighting from someone who very much wanted me to believe I was crazy, but also was incredibly adamant I did not receive help (hence partially why I was undiagnosed and unmedicated). My memories aren’t really all that reliable, and the other thing is, I thought the narcolepsy part of it was normal. Or, well, that I was just lazy. I didn’t know what narcolepsy was beyond dramatizations in tv shows. I didn’t see my symptoms as symptoms, and therefore, I didn’t really keep track of them, if that makes sense.

All this to say, I think wishing my life turned out differently isn’t healthy and leads nowhere. I still ruminate on it from time to time, but it’s less from a depressive angle and more because I’m angry as hell that a lot of people failed me in my life during that time period. I should have been diagnosed and medicated, god knows I’ve seen enough therapists and doctors. I should have had a friend that would have helped me get the fuck out of that relationship sooner. I should have had more people supporting me and taking me seriously. But things turned out this way, and I gotta make my peace with that. I might be in a “better” place if things went differently from a certain viewpoint, at least career-wise, but it could be worse in other ways I’d never know. I need to put my energy into making sure the life I’m actually living is the best possible one for me. That’s all that matters.

[valyalyon]

3 Harvest Whispers

Previous Post | Next Post SEA MASTER LIST OR #LYONSEA DIVIDERS

CW: quick pace relationship, explicit language, dub con with MC's ex girlfriend, cheating by one person, open relationship with boundaries, A LOT of smut, breeding kink. MDNI. 3.7K Words.

Star and Jasper got up together on his birthday. The birthday man had bought his Ember a dress to wear out for the day.

The dress was white, and Star remembered it reminding her of a nurse uniform from the second world war as the dress was styled the same.

She actually liked the dress a lot even though it wasn’t her favorite color, so she was excited to try it on.

She put it on with help from Jasper, who kissed her once she was dressed, “hair, clothes, and back home for my birthday celebration… Sound good to you?”

Star smiled at him and nodded, he was always checking in with her so it made her feel comfortable with him.

…

Over several hours that morning, Star watched her black hair be bleached and turned a platinum blonde. The 19 year old had never changed her hair color at a salon, getting box dye in her younger years and fucking up her hair every time. Luckily, it had been years at this point and all her hair was virgin and new growth, so the bleach had little damage.

When the hair stylist showed her the final product, Star was happy but amazed. She had never tried being a blonde, but the way it made her green eyes look was so interesting to her. Her eyebrows were still dark since they framed her face so well and she didn’t want them changed.

Now, though, she looked a lot softer than she had before. She loved this change, it made her feel free to be in her feminine energy. Star felt as though the hair change would allow her to really shift her focus onto Jasper.

The man had asked her to be his girlfriend the same day he met her. He protected her from Rocco before he even dated her, proving he wouldn’t stand for the abuse of a woman. He gave her no inkling he’d ever even think of hitting her.

All Star ever wanted was peace, and she felt that she might find that with Jasper.

They left the hair salon and walked hand in hand along the streets of Sunwoods, with Jasper walking to the left of his girl so she wouldn’t be near the road, “you look gorgeous, Ember.”

“Thank you, Jasper,” she responded, smiling up at the older man, “are you sure you’re okay with spending all this money on me?”

“I’d spend all my money on you,” Jasper replied simply, opening the door to a boutique for Star, “this will probably have the dresses for public outings.”

Star walked in and started to look around with Jasper, the two still talking under their breath to one another, his Ember asking, “I don’t mind going out with you a lot, but I’ve always been a homebody. Am I supposed to go on all your public outings or events with you?”

“What kind of man would I be if I can’t show my face without my woman?” Jasper asked seriously, then showing her a dress he had found, and continuing, “I’ll aways tell you about an event before it happens so you have time to decide to come or not.”

“You’re never required. You deserve to spend all your time inside the house, you should never have to do anything other than be my home,” he finished, taking her hand and kissing it.

She took the dress he chose and several other ones. The dresses were all red, pink, or floral patterns, all of a midi length with traditional cut skirts. Star looked up at him, “should I pick my favorite three or four?”

Jasper furrowed his brow, helping take the hangers off her hands, “how many are here? Ten?”

“No, there’s seven…” Star handed them all over to him as he asked.

“Do you want to get more dresses?” he asked, and added, “there’s way more dresses in the store…”

“Seven is already so many!” the girl shook her head, then asked timidly, “I’ll pick four dresses and then maybe we can go to another store to look at some comfy clothes for me to wear around the house?”

Jasper took her hand with his free one, and walked over to the shop’s line, “I’m buying you all seven dresses, and we will go to another store and get you a full wardrobe.”

The man paid once they got to the register, with the dresses costing nearly $600 after tax. Star was red faced when she heard the number, but Jasper handed the cashier six hundred dollar bills from his wallet. In that moment, she noticed he still had at least seven other hundred bills.

She understood he was wealthy, but it really hadn’t sunken in until that moment. Her hair had cost $300 already, and by the end of the next shop, another $400 had been spent. In all, Jasper spent $1,300 on her that first day and he didn’t make a deal of it, not even seeming to notice the expenses.

I know I’m fine, but the money makes me handsomer.

They returned to the ranch after the second store.

Jasper spoke as he put the clothes in the guest house’s closet for Star, “Dahlia is hosting a small house party for my birthday celebration. Its just friends and their partners. I’m going to be staring at you the whole night, so wear something you feel sexy in.”

Star took him seriously, so she put on a short and tight red dress that he’d bought at the last store.

She walked out of the bathroom and met him in the living room of the guest house, where he complimented her as he spun her, “you look gorgeous. Everyone in there is going to want you once they see you. Remember you’re mine.”

“Always,” the girl promised, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. He smelled and looked so good, so she was infatuated with him, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt so strongly about someone the way I feel about you.”

Walk around smelling like a come-up and the answer for her problems but I’m not him, I don’t mind it though.

Jasper chuckled and touched her face, she was young and so bright eyed, it drove him insane, “girl, I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. You’re young, though, you’ve got so much you could chase. I don’t want to stop you from that, I just want you here… with me. Is that selfish?”

“Keeping me from the cruel, big world… How selfish of you,” Star teased, kissing him back sweetly, a giggle escaping her lips, “I want to be stopped here with you. I’m in love with you, too, Jasper…”

You don’t like me how you think you do, I like it though.

Jasper smiled down at her, kissing her hotly, then pulling away.

He grabbed her hand and led her out the guest house, and across the large backyard of the main house. The glass doors were open, and they walked into a full of living area.

Jasper introduced her to everyone as Star, but there was somebody else in there that already knew her.

Dahlia came up with a girl that was close to Star’s age, and the two young girls said nothing, as the elder woman introduced them, “Star, meet my girlfriend, Heather.”

Star turned her attention away from Jasper, and looked at Dahlia, then over at a slightly taller woman. Star really tried not to remember her name these days, but as she stared up at Heather she realized that nothing had changed about her first lover.

Heather and Star went to school together for a four year span of time, during which they would quickly start an explosive on-off relationship. They were the most unstable and volatile couple of their school, constantly fighting out in the school yard with one another over many stupid things.

They were also notorious for just constantly touching one another or making out after a screaming match. They were constantly getting in trouble in school.

They did a lot that Star tried not to think about, but they never went “all the way” with one another. Due to all the homophobia at that home, Star neglected something she was always curious in exploring.

She hadn’t thought about it in years, though…

Still, being faced with Heather forced her to think about it again. Her hair was short, at her shoulders, and dark brown. She was 5’10” and her eyes were the blackest Star had ever seen, just like she remembered her.

Star felt herself get stimulated as the two exchanged casual greetings, pretending not to know one another. She knew that her ex recognized her, though, because she went out of her way to kiss her hand, meeting her eyes as she did it.

They went around the room for a while, Jasper and Star talking to everybody, before settling together on the couch to drink. Star had a drink or two, and started to kiss Jasper, tugging on his tie, “Dahlia’s girlfriend is my abusive first girlfriend.”

His eyes widened slightly, then they returned to normal as he let out a laugh, kissing her, “I didn’t trust her the moment she brought her over. They only met like last week.”

“We’re no better if you’re judging her on time,” the young girl kissed the man back, then let out a little sigh, “Just surprised to see her here, honestly. I don’t think she was a bad person, more like we weren’t good for each other at the time.”

Jasper nodded his head, looking over at the other young girl, then back at Star, “you ever sleep with her?”

“Pervert,” the girl replied.

“No, I’m asking seriously. I want to settle with you and enjoy life with you, but I never want you to deny anything about your sexuality,” he still spoke in a whisper, so it stayed between them in the little party, “If you need to sleep with a woman, to experience it, ever, you are free to do that in our relationship.”

“Still, you sound like a pervert. Are you suggesting a threesome?” Star asked, batting her eyelashes up at him.

“I’d love that, but I’ll never force that. If you want to sleep with a woman because you just want to, go for it. Do whatever you want with another woman by yourself,” he kissed her and held her face, “it’d be nice if you included me, but not needed. Just tell me it happened.”

The young girl was taken aback by his response, but she reflected on what he had said before in her dating rules. She wasn’t to let another man touch her. He was letting her do that way back then.

Still — she didn’t think she’d want to do anything. She found Heather attractive, but she wasn’t a cheater. She confessed her love for Jasper so quickly but she meant it… Star couldn’t imagine her life anywhere else.

“I gotta pee… where’s the bathroom, Jasper?” she didn’t feel at capacity, but she wanted some alone time to smoke in the bathroom and pee when she was done.

Jasper told her where the nearest bathroom was, and gave her a kiss goodbye, making sure to spank her ass as she left.

Star followed the instructions like a robot, arriving at the bathroom and starting to smoke her pot pen. She sunk into the highs, taking deep inhales.

Her eyes closed for a second, but when she opened them again, the bathroom was dark and the door had opened. Immediately, Star knew what was about to happen, and she tried to make her way out of the bathroom.

The door shut, and arms came out of the darkness, pulling her in tightly. Star cried out slightly, but in her high state, was slightly excited, feeling a heat in the air, “Jasper? Jasper?”

That’s when the arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling Star up into a kiss. The mouth was familiar immediately, and the young girl tried fruitlessly to pull away, “Heather, please… No, Heather…”

Heather only got closer, kissing her and using her tongue to invade the younger girl’s mouth. Star moaned, reaching for Heather to push her off, but that heat was burning them both alive, “I need you… Who the fuck is Star?”

“We haven’t seen each other in years, I don’t want you,” the girl protested, trying to push her ex away.

Heather lifted her off the ground and placed her on the bathroom counter, spreading her legs, “I don’t care, shut up… I want you.”

Her hands went to Star’s panties, and she started to pull them aside. The green eyed girl looked helplessly at her ex, “let go of me…”

Her fingers touched her clit, then moved down to her vagina. Her index and middle finger went in, putting pressure on g spot, “you’re just as wet for me as you used to be.”

“Fuck you,” was all the young girl could moan to Heather, “you’re a bully and abuser, I hate you.”

“Yeah, do you?” Heather asked, her fingers starting to intensify the attack on her vagina. She got close and spit on her clit, then leaned down to suck on it, “I’m not surprised, but we need to finish what we started.”

Star let out a breath, her body trembling, as she put her hands on Heather adding more pressure for her to step away, “stop it, Heather. You have a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend.”

The pushing moved her ex back a bit, but she pulled away by choice, making sure Star knew, “I don’t really care about all that. We had something, you just want to pretend it wasn’t real. Why are you in Sunwoods dating a man three times your age?”

She didn’t want to be alone with her ex, let alone validate her behavior, so she walked past her in the dark and opened the door, “don’t come up to me again. You have a girlfriend and you’re cheating on her. Somethings never change.”

“You don’t know anything, I would have changed for you,” Heather told her.

Star looked at her in the lowlight, then opened the door fully and walked out, returning to Jasper’s side.

Jasper was standing up in the middle of the living room, talking to one of his friends. Star grabbed onto his arm, and he looked down at her with a smile, “welcome back, gorgeous…”

He trailed back into a conversation with his friend, and within a few minutes Dahlia was calling for everyone to gather around for the cake.

Jasper stood in front of the cake, and had his girl under his arm as the crowd and Star began to sing happy birthday to him. Soon as the song finished, the man bent forward slightly, blowing out the candles on the cake, everyone cheering along.

…

When they returned to the guest house, they immediately began to make out.

Their arms wrapped around each other and the two forgot they were different people for a second, dancing drunkenly in the entry way, feeling as if they were blending into one another.

We danced like we were the same.

Star moaned as the man lifted her, carrying her to the bedroom. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, and she felt his hard cock through the fabric of his pants as her hips grinding against him.

She was convinced her temperature was too high, but she didn’t know if she should blame Jasper, Heather, both, or herself.

Jasper’s hands tugged at her dress, taking it off her body as he laid her down on the bed, “you look amazing… Thank you for being mine.”

“I’m yours,” Star moaned in agreement, kissing the man happily, but quickly remembering what happened with Heather.

The younger girl explained the interaction to Jasper, who furrowed his brows and said, “sounds like she forced her way onto you. Do you want me to take care of her?”

“That sounds like a threat,” the girl let out a little laugh, and shook her head, “don’t tell Dahlia. If Heather’s bad for her, she’ll realize it pretty quickly. I don’t want their relationship to break up just because Heather made this mistake tonight.”

“She cornered you in the bathroom, I wouldn’t really call that a mistake,” Jasper replied, but shrugged, “but I told you I loved you. That means I keep your secret to the grave.”

The girl kissed him again, her mouth opening as the man’s tongue began to dance with hers. She moaned meekly, her eyes opening to look into his, “you promise you’re not mad?”

“I could never be mad at you, Ember,” he responded, kissing her again as his hand began to pull her panties off.

She started pulling off his shirt, as he reached down and unbuckled his pants. He slipped out of his pants and she tossed his shirt to the side, kissing his chest.

He stroked his hardened member, and Star’s eyes ran along the length, all the veins, and his perfect tip. The green eyed girl tore her eyes away, looking up at him as he pressed his tip to her vagina, “what did you wish for?”

The man laughed as he slowly pushed into her, each push causing Star’s moans to get louder, “I wished I’d get you pregnant.”

“Mmm… are you serious?” her voice was shy, moans peeking between the words, her green eyes looking through her dark lashes, “you want to get me pregnant?”

“I always wanted to have a family with the woman I loved. I had kids with Dahlia but not because of love, and I always wished I could have fallen in love with someone. Here you are now. Of course I want to get you pregnant,” the older man admitted, slipping his length completely into the small girl.

Star moaned as she felt the man’s ten inches filling her, “you’re so deep inside of me… Feels like you’re going to fuck my organs out of place.”

“I just might,” Jasper chuckled, kissing her, before beginning his thrusts. At first, they were shallow, but quickly he began going all the way into her and pounding against her cervix.

Star closed her eyes and moaned, feeling her clit getting added pressure from Jasper’s thumb, “Jasper…”

“Can I get you pregnant?” the man asked, pounding into her and rubbing her clit vigorously, “I want to fill you to the brim with my seed for days on end. I want you begging for more every single day and night. I want to watch you grow from what I gave you.”

Her hips were grinding against his, her moans so loud she’d thought they’d be heard at the main house, “fuck, Jasper… Let me think about it…”

“I’ll let you think about it,” he nodded his head, then kissed her neck, his thrusts shifting slightly and somehow when he continued he was going even deeper than before, “really, really, though… what is there to think about? Why do I feel like you want this as bad as I do?”

Star almost couldn’t speak, but when she heard his last question, she moaned out loud, “I think I do, Jasper, I think I want this as bad as you do. Kiss me…”

He wrapped a hand around her throat, holding snugly, kissing her hotly, his tongue dancing with hers.

He didn’t stop his thrusts, moving rhythmically against her grinding hips, “you’re so tight and warm, so fucking good for me… Say you’ll let me get you pregnant. Let me have a family with you.”

“I have a birth control implant in my arm,” Star explained, moaning every other word as his thrusts got rougher, “don’t punish me… If I hadn’t been on birth control, I’d be pregnant already.”

“We’ll figure it out… For right now, I love that I get to use your pussy as the dumping ground for all my semen,” he told her, kissing her, teasing her nipples as he added, “and I love you.”

She tried to speak, but his thrusts intensified, they got much harder and she was moaning loudly again, tears in her eyes this time as she felt each deep thrust, “aaa…”

“Say you love me,” he demanded, thrusting even harder, rubbing her clit rapidly with each motion.

“I… aaa…” she moaned as the intensity drove her up the wall, her legs quivering around him, “love…” the tears started dripping down her face, but she felt so good.

He couldn’t hold himself back for much longer. He gritted his teeth, and sped up, “say it, Ember… I love you, say it… fuck, I need to cum inside you.”

“I love you,” she blurted out, reaching to kiss Jasper, pulling him closer as he started to unload his balls, “every drop, Jasper… don’t leave anything behind, please!”

He groaned into her, his cock contracting as it filled her up with his creamy load. She came in the last moments, feeling it begin to leak out of her while he still came more, “cum for me, Ember…”

The girl moaned against him, her pussy tightening and drawing more cum out of the man’s cock as she leaked her own creamy discharge over him.

Maybe they would have stopped there, but the two never seemed to get enough of each other.

They were quickly in a different position, leaking cum everywhere but desperately returning to fucking one another.

Twisting in circles again, no need to say anything ‘cause last night we let go of everything.

Star felt entranced by Jasper, hypnotized and in love in a way she didn’t understand. While Jasper loved her and felt that maybe she wasn’t made for a life on the run, he wanted to take care of her instead.

They always lost themselves in one another, and that night was no exception.

Lot of smut in this one and the next ones! Did you like this chapter and where do you think the story is going?

SONG REFERENCES Handsomer by Russ We Were The Same by Matt Maeson

[weepingwillows-sweethibiscustea]

OKAY. RWRB MOVIE REVIEW.

(Disclaimer that these are all only my opinions)

I imagined Philip as looking more like Philza Minecraft, to be completely honest. So tell me why they made him kinda..???

THEY FUCKED UP HIS CHARACTERIZATION (imo). In the book, he’s just a victim of what he was born into as well. He’s rigid & kinda a dick because it was what he was taught to be to survive, the movie completely took that away, giving him literally two scenes.

AND THEN THEY GIVE GOOD GRACE TO THE KING? Bro. No. Stop it.

I feel as though they were afraid to criticize the British monarchy too hard, which is why they gave the king the good grace they did (plus other changes done, I don’t think they included the cliticization of the British Museum stealing all those artifacts either)

Frothing at the mouth over the fact they not only took away Luna, but completely got rid of the fucking sex abuse scandal in favor of a jealousy plot. Explodes you with my mind.

Going back to my point above that one, I feel they might not have wanted to add that seeing how many Richards are out there. Can’t fan too many flames, huh?

They also gave Bea way less screen time, & took away the whole “Powder Princess” thing, I think the way they talked about their dad passing & how it effects the family was kind of cheap.

AND they fucked up Henry’s moms characterization. She just straight up wasn’t in it, only mentioned, & in a negative light. Again, they really didn’t give the dad passing the attention it deserved.

The beginning went by pretty damn fast. But in all fairness for that & I suppose a lot of points, the movies already two hours long with all that missing, so I suppose I can give some leniency on some of these points.

June obviously wasn’t there either, but it at least doesn’t feel like anybody’s missing. I guess they managed the Nora & June merge well. THEY DID NOT MANAGE THE LIAM & LUNA MERGE WELL.

Seriously fuck them for taking away Luna & subsequently his character arc

THEY UN-DIVORCED ELLEN & OSCAR. I UNDERSTAND IT WOULD HAVE ADDED A LOT OF SCREEN TIME THEY DIDN’T HAVE BUT COME ON.

Do love all the terms of endearment Henry uses, honestly don’t remember if that’s in the book or not.

Can we circle back around to how attractive Philip is. Sorry who said that.

I like the way they handled the cake scene better, definitely feels more realistic.

Admittedly also kinda happy the Henry magazine photo thing wasn’t added, kind of made me cringe reading about it lmao

OH YEA THEY TOOK OUT THE SCENE WHERE ALEX CALLS HENRY TO VENT ABOUT HIS PARENTS(?), IT WAS SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOMENT FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP BOO

Is there a copy right reason they couldn’t include Henry being a Star Wars fan? If they just simply choose not to then I am Disappointed.

Really liked how they did the phone calls, with them appearing in front & them as though they’re in the same room, together. Great touch.

Edit to add this bullet point because it’s really important to me. Alex says he’s bisexual, Henry says he’s gay. Ellen asks if Alex is gay, fluid, bi, pan. Ellen references transgender people. They talk about the LGBT+ community. They say all these words, they don’t whisper them, or talk around them. They say them loud & clear as day. Idk, this just makes me really happy because of how often you’ll see people talk around these words like they’re bad or dirty words (yes I’m aware this is a movie where they have gay sex multiple times on screen but it’s still important to me shut up)

FINAL THOUGHTS.

It was alright. I don’t regret watching it. It was entertaining, but admittedly not the type of movie I’d usually watch, so I think other people could enjoy it way more then I did. But I definitely still enjoyed it despite all my criticisms.

Definitely not as good as the book, but not bad at all. I’d say it’s absolutely worth the watch.

I’m sure you can also find posts that can better articulate why this movie is so groundbreaking & important as well, which is something I didn’t particularly touch on in this post.

[demonytekav]

thinking of becoming the statistic the h8rs warn everyone about for my 30th this summer & just leaning fully into bkdk \m/ \m/ yolo

🤣 I’m probably going to give you a more serious answer than you wanted. So I’ll just start off by saying DO. IT. We are too old to be told what to do in our personal time 🤣 and to not do the things that makes us happy. If you worry about being ‘seen’ just make a separate account and log in and out of it as you please and indulge in what you like.

A statistic? Eh who gives a shit besides people who can’t just allow others to enjoy themselves with what makes them happy. Shipping fictional characters isn’t hurting anyone. Literally. They aren’t real.

We never know what’s going on behind the scenes of someone’s life. I learned to stop giving a shit about “avoiding” something like shipping characters when I realized how much being a fandom, especially the part I want to be in, seriously helped me out as a person.

I get why people hate bkdk I really do. I have my own reasons as to why I ship it and prefer it and we don’t have to validate ourself to people who can’t just appreciate other people doing something that makes them happy. Simple as that.

I’ve had to hide myself my entire life thanks to my family. I literally am a damn robot. Don’t smile or show emotions whatsoever and somewhere along the way the person I was supposed to be is long gone.

On top of that due to a very abusive relationship that cost me my friends and the family I still live with I spent a long time fully alone. One day I decided to make a bum profile for a fandom and found something that brought color back to my world. I will NOT allow anyone to take that away from me. My personal space is MINE.

I will ALWAYS encourage people to indulge in their interests in regards to fandom. It’s MEANT to be fun. The characters and stories aren’t real and its okay to enjoy them as you see fit. What you indulge in, in regards to fandom, doesn’t sum you up as a person. The shit just tickles your happy bone is all.

While every fandom/ship has their bad apples you don’t have to interact with those people. And can find people who are kind.

Shippers will accept you. There are so many people on this side of the fandom waiting for more people to come in and just be here with us.

While I don’t know you reasons for holding back, don’t. Don’t let anyone tell you what’s right or proper to do in your personal space. Don’t let anyone make you feel like shit for finding joy in something. There are people who are just like you and ready to accept you and get silly and talk about fun stuff with you.

So DO IT. Get in here with the rest of us. Like I said if you aren’t comfortable with your main use a side email and make a new profile and just enjoy yourself. You don’t owe anyone anything and you don’t have to explain yourself.

Come see all the art and fics people have made. Allow yourself to find one more thing that add some extra color to your life.

Haters don’t know me. They don’t know my life. They can go worry about themselves. I’m here for ME.

So you be there for you. Don’t hold back on account of what haters say. Fuck em. You come first to you always. You matter.

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

"I think that lots of things that I thought were possible before that was posted, don’t seem possible now." This is really interesting to me, because I've been following you a while and I never really felt that I knew what you think was possible re Harry and gender?

From what I have seen and read, Harry has never expressed a nuanced interest in this topic more than "everybody should be kind to everybody, and that includes women". Even worse, there have been terrible, terrible takes last year. For me, the whole Pleasing nonsense is way worse than the Pilates stuff - is he seriously selling anti aging crap to teenagers??? And the way he talked about queer films? That still makes me so angry, to the point that I'd prefer not to have Harry speaking on politics, gender and social issues at all.

To me, the missing "there, there" is really important in this context, because I also think that he is closeted. 25 years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was absolutely okay with everybody thinking that my parents might be abusive rather than people knowing that I was getting love bites from another girl. Mindboggling now. I've always had a good relationship with my parents, knew even then that they would be fine with me being a lesbian and I didn't live in a conservative environment at all. Still the fear of being forced out of the closet made me oblivious to everything else around me, it paralyzed me and I had no space for thinking about collective social issues.

Obviously Harry's situation is very different, but I see myself (and a lot of my queer friends) in him waffling nonsense and making bad choices (subjectively 'bad' to me at least) from a frightening closet. When he talked about his panic about being perceived as "somebody who has sex" or "people seeing how he kisses", it was really painful to me, like him playing Tom was painful to me, too. I hope therapy goes well for him if he wants that.

Being a 'new, meterosexual' man, who is sexy but also detached, might be a kind of compromise for Harry. Which it obviously isn't, and that is why people are missing the 'there, there' at a closer look. It is lacking authenticity, which I've seen mentioned in the media for the first time this year. My guess is that Harry and his team are aware of it and playing for time (3-5 more fat years?) but what do I know...

Of course nobody is forcing him to endorse the Pilates studio, but maybe it's something like "Harry, we'll give a short clip to the pilates study so you can have a three week holiday with your partner safely, is that alright?". 18 year old me would have said yes and not asked more questions, I'd just been happy to have three weeks without fearing to be dragged out of the closet. Might sound dramatic, but to me Harry's anxiety is palpable a lot of the time in the way he treats his body and, more lately, the things he says (which, again, might be wrong and 100% projection on my part).

Making his choices under circumstances he doesn't choose from when he was 16 years old is a lot. Maintaining a closet is a lot, even if you're not a popstar with millions of eyes on you, hundreds of peoples' livelyhood depending on you, and a partner who is in a similar but also very different position. It's a lot and I feel for Harry.

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Sorry for this novel, I just love to read your thoughts and am checking obsessively if you reply to my anons. Lately I've saved them so that I might re-read my own thoughts later, like a diary. Strange but I guess there are stranger things on the internet ; )

Thanks for your thoughts anon - it's so awesome to hear that asking anons helps you process stuff. I'm going to respond to a couple of different things in here, but if there's something that you're super interested in that I miss.

That's a great starting point - what did I used to think was possible when it comes to Harry and gender. To focus a little bit on the politics of it - so his response to gender in society - not just as it relates to him - I think there are a wide variety of options. To give one example - he could have a visceral aversion to statements that 'men are like this and women are like this'. He could also have a political understanding that statements that men are one way and women are another are quite harmful. I think it's unlikely that he would go even further and feeling like it's important that he's part of changing that, but I wouldn't have said it's impossible. He also could not really have any thoughts about it all - when he sees a sentence like 'It's not just for girls, it separates the men from the boys' - he could just think 'that sounds reasonable'

Obviously now I think the possibilities cluster much more strongly around 'that sounds reasonable', but before the interview any of those could have been true.

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I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences and the way that they have shaped you. I'm so glad to hear that things are better from you and you have a good relationship with your parents. I hope you are kind to your younger self - her anxiety was a reasonable response to the world she

I totally agree that Harry's anxiety is palpable in a lot of what he does and how he interacts with the world. I think the 'people will know how I kiss' comment is an excellent example as are much of the other things you mention.

But in this case, I think understanding this through the lens of the closet doesn't bring any insight. In particular, in the way that you frame it - as if someone is giving this clip so that he can have time with his partner - there's absolutely no reason to believe that's true. Harry can have three week holidays with his partner without anyone knowing (wealth buys you that). The idea that this video would be seen to directly matter by Harry, or anyone working for him, doesn't make any sense with how we've seen him navigating the closet

That doesn't mean that there's not some connection. Anxiety works in mysterious ways and there could be all sorts of things going on for Harry. But I think imagining a straight forward 'he's doing this because he's anxious that otherwise he'll be outed' - is an over simplification that probably reveals more about your anxiety than Harry's.

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I do agree that Harry's closet is central to the question of 'is there a there there'. I remember listening to the Harry episode of Popcast - and it felt like they were dancing around the possibility of him being closeted - but I don't think they were - I think they were just describing the gaps they saw.

But I think it's easy for fans to assume that the feeling that there's no there there is entirely caused by the closet. I think it's far more complicated than that - because I think it's also something about Harry that enables him to be such a successful blank space - and that wouldn't suddenly change when he was out.

In particular, I don't think the fact that we're both 'no Harry, speak less about politics' would necessarily change just because he was out (there are plenty of out queer musicians who have said cringe things now and in the past). I think he'd probably be a little more articulate if he wasn't so afraid, but only a little. I think the way that he's unwilling to be clear about whether he's talking about himself or the world is shaped by the closet, but that doesn't mean that he would disappear. I think he could build up a centre, if he came out, but I don't think it's inevitable that he would.

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I've been really frustrated by the silence in response to that statement and that's led to me responding with the boldest, brashest version of what I think.

So here's another way of expressing the same idea. What if Harry did support the message of that video? What if it did reflect part of his worldview?

There are other explanations - but the fact that he agreed with something that he put his image to is always going to be the most likely one. And I think it's worth Harry's fans, particularly those who argue about what he's really like or talk as if they know what he's like, sitting with that possibility. And either including that view in what Harry might be like, or accepting that what they're talking about is not what Harry is like, but who they want him to be.