#don’t mind the awkward angles lol

[ghost-proofbaby]

i wanna see ur tattoo!! how did it go!!

it went so well!!! right now it’s just the entire outline, and i’ll be going in monthly to get shading and detailing done in small chunks 🖤

below the cut is photos. please be gentle i know my arm is fat haha

[bboricha]

we did... what in your mind?!

➳ wc: ~600 ➳ pairings: pervert streamer!kaedehara kazuha x mind reader afab!reader ➳ cw: shibari, one (1) hickey, pet name (my love), praise kink if u squint ➳ kabukicho bad trip: 5wirl edition masterlist

synopsis: you're in lit class with one of the most famous people at your university, kaedehara kazuha, a streamer. you happen to be bored and ran out of things to do, letting your eyes wander around the room and you end up meeting kazuha's, getting a glimpse into his mind.

you're sitting in class, zoning out to the droning voice of your professor, going on about Chaucer or Conrad or something—you're not sure, you don't really care. heart...darkness...canterbury... it's whatever, it's not important.

you've already run out of things to do on your laptop too. solitaire? you're tired of it. tetris? you might rage even if it isn't a rage kind of game. amazon? you're too broke. you huff out a frustrated breath, opting to look around the class instead, to maybe daydream, or maybe listen to what others have to say. in their minds, you mean.

yes, you'd rather not listen to other people's thoughts because you know how creepy it would be if they knew, because you know, you just want to respect their privacy. but sometimes you genuinely can't help it if you happen to make eye contact with them—that’s what triggers it after all. it’s kind of hard though to keep your eyes cast down all the time because you also try to make an effort to seem like a normal, sociable person. it just gets awkward sometimes when you're speaking and they start thinking of a lunch menu instead.

your eyes wander over to kaedehara kazuha—a popular streamer known for his parasocial relationships with his fans that happen because he's apparently genuinely nice. not that it matters, but his existence in your class has been a bit of a nuisance to say the least. at the start of the semester, people used to flock around your class at the beginning and the end in hopes of snapping a photo of him. you understand why, he's very attractive pretty and famous, who wouldn't want a picture of an internet celebrity? a lot of people actually, but it doesn't too much anymore because apparently he asked on stream for people to stop it and to your surprise, they actually listened (lol). 

it was then his eyes met yours and you flinch, a barrage of obscene images flooding your head.

”you actually like being tied up, don’t you?” kazuha asks, the breath of his voice hits your ear as he tugs on the binds around your body, pulling you towards him. the red rope digs into your skin, the sting complementing the way his fat cock drags inside your walls. he sucks a mark onto the crook of your neck, promptly pushing you back into his pillows as he takes hold of your hips, spreading you apart as he pulls out, leaving just the tip in.

“you’re sucking me in so… much,” he groans, slowly thrusting back inch by inch, making you whine against his sheets begging for him to go faster. “patience is a virtue, my love.”

he bottoms out, grinding on you when he tugs at the rope again, tears falling from your eyes as a result. he takes notice of this, caging you with his frame as he leans in, the angle of his cock seemingly hitting you even deeper than before (if it was even possible), and he wipes the tears from your eyes.

“just a bit more, alright? you’re doing so well,”

you gasp, averting your eyes and immediately slapping a hand over your mouth to prevent any more unprompted noises. what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?? you think, entirely unsure how to process this sudden surge of information. you cautiously look back up towards kazuha’s direction against your better judgment, almost flinching for a second time when you notice his stare. he mouths a “are you ok,” his thoughts reading as genuinely concerned so you vehemently nod your head and he smiles in return. you can feel your cheeks heating up as you place your arm on the desk, resting your chin on your hand and returning your attention to your computer that was left open on a new tab.

➳ an: foaming at the mouth i love ooc kazuha where there's more than meets the eye with him oh god

[hyperactively-me]

black tie affair

He slowly comes up behind you, hands stretched out in front of him, wordless. He grasps your waist firmly, holding you in place as his other hand brushes up against your lower back. You shiver under his touch, body still, unmoving. He was so close. So close.

"oh nooooo the zipper on my dress is stuck, what ever will i do? who would ever help meee?"

zipper is stuck trope. with ghost. lol bye.

also, don’t mind me making stuff up for this fic. don't think too hard about it. let's just pretend!

(asks are open)

happy reading

EDIT: PART 2 OUT NOW

warnings: none

Tonight was the Special Forces Military Ball. It was a once-a-year event that everyone on the task force looked forward to as an opportunity to unwind from work. A night of speeches, dancing, and drinking was highly awaited. 

You were in a hotel room, finishing applying your makeup in the small bathroom adjacent to the bedroom. The lighting was horrendous, but you persevered. You gently brush on the last touches of your eyeshadow, blinking a few times at your reflection in the mirror. You tilt your face side to side, inspecting every inch of your makeup before pulling back, smiling contentedly at your work. It’s been a while since you last wore this much makeup. A quick sigh escapes your lips as you turn out of the bathroom and into the main room. 

A long, black dress lays across the hotel bed. The dress swishes gently across the floor as you pick it up from the bed and hold it up in front of you in front of the floor length mirror. The sweetheart neckline swoops gracefully, the thick straps of the dress adorned with small silver gems. The skirt of the dress hugs all of your curves in the right places, accentuating your features. 

You start to slip on the dress, pulling it up and around your body, then pulling the sleeves over to rest on your shoulders. Reaching around your back, your hands come up as you fumble around with the zipper, only pulling it up an inch before it stops.

You try pulling it as hard as you can to no avail. Messing with the zipper a few more times does absolutely nothing, the continuous motion of pulling it up and down useless in aiding you. The zipper rests, stuck, on your lower back. 

“Fuck” you groan, annoyed with the stubborn zipper.

You angle your back towards the mirror and stare at it, mostly bare, with a frown. Someone was going to have to help you with this. 

Everyone, with the exception of one person, was busy preparing for the event as you racked your brain about who you could call. 

Simon “Ghost” Riley.

The big guy. 

You grab your phone and scroll through your contacts before your finger lands on his name. You hesitate for a moment, almost already regretting this. Next thing you know, you bring the phone up to your ear, biting your lip as it rings. The phone rings once, twice, then you hear the line pick up. 

“Hello?” the low timbre of his voice echoes from the phone. 

You inhale dramatically, and turn to look at yourself in the mirror. 

“Hi,” you sigh. 

The silence from the other end is overbearing. You grimace a little. 

You speak quickly, “So uh, I need some help.” You hold your breath as you wait for a response, any response from him. 

You hear some shuffling around, and a small cough. You roll your eyes once more. 

“Please,” you strain. 

He hesitates for a moment. “What’s wrong?” 

“This is awkward, but uh, the zipper on my dress is stuck, and you’re the only person I could think of to call and I totally get it if you can’t help me–”

“Which room is yours?” he cuts you off briskly. The shuffling in the background abruptly stopped. 

Your mouth opens and closes for a moment, shaking your head as you try to answer.

“Oh, yeah, it’s room 456, fourth floor…” you trail off. 

He hangs up without a word. You bring the phone away from your ear slowly and stare at yourself in the mirror once more. 

He really is a man of few words. 

You pace the room a few times, waiting for him when a single, brief knock raps your door. You stop in your tracks and turn to the door, then run to the mirror to make sure you look presentable enough. You look through the peekhole just to make sure its Ghost before you pull open the door swiftly. 

You’re met with his chest in your face, and you drag your eyes upward to his face. His covered face. In that skull mask he always wears. He’s wearing a black tuxedo along with a crooked black tie. 

“Hi” he says simply, raking his eyes down your form. 

You immediately grab his bicep and pull him into the room and shut the door behind you, pressing your exposed back to the door. He chuckles quietly at you, raising his eyebrows in amusement under his mask. 

“Thank you so much for coming” you breathe out, wringing your hands together. 

He just stares at you for a moment longer, taking in your appearance unabashedly. He shoves his hands in his pocket and clears his throat. 

“Wow. You look amazing” he whistles. 

Your cheeks heat up, your mouth slightly agape as the air leaves your lungs.

“Thank you.”

Your dress swishes around your feet as you push yourself off the door, brushing past him. “I could say the same for you, Simon.” 

Turning around, you brush a piece of stray hair behind your ear, taking a deep breath. He takes a few heavy steps towards you, his silence overbearing. 

“If you could zip me up, that would be great” you smile gently at him, biting your bottom lip awkwardly. You turn around, your exposed back facing Ghost, and you pull your hair over your shoulder. His breath wavers, eyes roaming the expanse of your back, then finally coming to rest on the small of your back. He slowly comes up behind you, hands stretched out in front of him, wordless. He grasps your waist firmly, holding you in place as his other hand brushes up against your lower back. You shiver under his touch, body still, unmoving. He was so close. So close. His free hand closes around the zipper, hesitant to free it. 

“Ghost–”

“It’s Simon. Simon, when we’re not on job,” he corrects. You stand up straight. 

“Simon. Are you going to zip me up?” 

He grunts quietly, then pulls at the zipper once, twice, before it's finally freed. You can feel heat radiating from his fingers as he pulls the zipper up agonizingly slow. As he pulls it up your back, his fingers brush against your skin, the small touches making your knees weak. Your cheeks feel hot from his languid movements. You let go of the breath you didn’t realize you were holding when he zipped it up to the top.  

The trance you were in abruptly stops as you hear the small click of the zipper hitting the top. You swiftly turn around, the skirt of your dress bustling around as you take a step back, his hand falling from your hip. 

“Well, thank you Gh– Simon” you say, pushing your hair back to its original place. You rock back on your heels as you inspect his covered face.

His eyes look blown wide, his hands now pulling at the bottom of his tux jacket.

“‘s not a problem” he murmurs, eyes still not looking away from you. His hands wander up to his loosened tie, fidgeting with it.

You notice his tie isn’t properly tied, and you take a few steps close to him, your eyes staring straight at his chest.

“Let me help you with that” you point to his tie. You take his hands in yours and gently pull them to his sides. His hands dwarf your own, and you drop them. His breath hitches. 

You wrestle with the tie, your hands brushing up against his chest and collarbone as you twist it into perfection. You keep your eyes trained on the tie, biting your lip as you concentrate. Simon’s eyes remain locked on you, following your every movement. 

The silence permeates the air, save for the rustling of fabric against fabric. 

You finish tying the knot, and pull it up tight to rest against the base of his throat. He stretches his neck upwards as your hands come to fasten the tie in place. You smooth your hands on the edge of his jacket, straightening out any remaining wrinkles. Your head tilts upwards, smiling softly at him. 

“There” you sigh contentedly, patting his cheek gently before pulling away. 

Before you could fully remove yourself, his hand snakes down to your waist, pulling you up against his body. A small squeak slips out of you as his hands rigidly hold your waist.

“Simon–”

“Stop talking.” 

Before you could even process his movements, he yanks his mask over his nose. Your breath catches in your lungs as your eyes trail the features of his lower face. His breath is hot on your face as he leans down, closer and closer. “Can I kiss you?” he murmurs, eyelashes fluttering as he stares at your lips, noses bumping into each other. He’s only an inch or two away from your face, and you can see every lineament of his skin, his cheekbones, the tip of his pointed nose, his lips. He smells like sandalwood and vetiver, the scent peppery and strong. 

You nod your head fervently, heart racing in your chest. 

“Please.”

That’s all he had to hear you say. 

Simon leans in, closing the miniscule gap between you two. He leans down to press a firm kiss on your lips, inhaling sharply at the contact, eliciting a soft sound from you. Your hands wrap around his neck, tugging him down to your height as his hands roam up and down your back. Simon draws your body against his, pulling you flush against him. He begins to nip your bottom lip, tongue swiping over your lip as if to ask permission. You let him take charge, his hand gliding up your body, your breath growing ragged. 

He bites your lip, slowly pulling away as he breaks contact. You gulp in the cool air of the room, studying his face as he slowly pulls his mask down in place. Your ears are red, face flushed. 

“You’re beautiful,” his voice comes out hoarse as he takes your hand in his. He rubs his thumb in circles around your palm, outlining your face. 

“Thank you” you whisper, taking his hand into your own. 

You gingerly pull him out of your room, and don’t let go of his hand for the rest of the night. 

PART 2

[highvern]

Teach Me

or the first time we hooked up it was so disappointing I thought about faking my own death so you’d leave me alone

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Pairing: Lee Dokyeom (Seokmin) x fem!reader

Genre: smut, humor, college au

Warnings: kind of virgin shaming, first time, OC knows she’s wrong but no one’s perfect, descriptions of bad sex, mentions of death (in a joking way), frat!svt, chemistry

Length: ~2.3k

Note: there used to be a time i had to memorize the entire greek alphabet bc i was a sorority girl so im drawing on my roots for inspo lol

Also virginity is a construct! don’t let people make you feel bad about it!

read more here

Friday Night Approx. 11:37PM, undisclosed bed room, SBT fraternity

Dokyeom is great. He’s funny, always does his share of your lab assignments, and when you go to parties at his frat he gives you the good shit out of the fridge instead of whatever concoction his brothers whipped up in the communal cooler for everyone else to drink. The fact that he’s easy on the eyes doesn’t hurt either.

That’s why the last ten minutes have surmounted into what has to be the most disappointing hookup of your life.

His fumbling hands and clumsy movements would be endearing if he wasn’t drooling on your neck in a way that is less than attractive. When his hand slides down the front of your jeans he’s at least receptive to the gentle corrections and cooed suggestions you provide. Is it mindblowing? No. Will he get you off? Probably not. But he’s enthusiastic so you’ll let it go for now.

“Can I, like,” he starts, leaning back to sit up right above you, face bright red, “take your pants off?”

“Ugh, yeah. Sure.” 

It’s a weird escalation given you still have your shirt on but to each their own.

The heat of his muscular chest against the back of your thighs is pleasant enough but doesn’t make up for the way he dives straight in, immediately sucking and licking vigorously. Jolting nerves force you to curl in onto yourself at the discomfort, thankfully unlatching his lips from your abused clit. Twisting a fist in his hair, you pull him up and away from your crotch, distracting him with hot kisses and nips across his throat. He doesn’t seem to mind the change, teeth clenching as your opposite hand tickles down his front to his waistband. Stuffing your hand into his boxer, Dokyeom releases a noise somewhere between a whine and groan. Hot and heavy in your palm, his tip leaks obscenely when you give him a tug.

“Shiiiiit,” he whimpers against your mouth. 

Well, at least one of you is having a good time.

In a flurry of motion, his pants are down just enough to get his cock out, allowing him to roll a condom on before pushing inside you slowly. The stretch isn’t painful but it’s less than comfortable as he starts to rock his hips. With an awkward rhythm he’s providing you little friction and thus no pleasure. You try tilting your hips to change the angle. It helps some, letting his pelvis grind gently against your clit but still no dice. Your fatal mistake is wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him deeper.

When you clench around him as he hits deeper, Dokyeom’s hips buck a little too enthusiastically, head falling back and belting long low groan. All you can do is gape as he finishes, leaving you in the dust.

-

Sunday Afternoon Approx 2:40 PM, coffee shop near campus

“He did what?”

“Don’t make me repeat it.” You grimace.

“Like, no warm up at all? Just straight P in V?”

“I mean he kissed me but other than that, not really, no.”

The look on Seungkwan’s face is that of a child realizing Santa isn’t real.

“And you’re sure it was Dokyeom? Like the Lee Dokyeom, your lab partner, my fraternity brother Lee Dokyeom?”

“I didn’t ask for his ID but yeah I’m pretty sure it was him.”

“What did he say after?”

The look you give tells him exactly what Dokyeom asked you after he finished.

“No!” Seungkwan gasps.

“Yes.” 

You’ve abandoned your diluted iced coffee, pushing it to the middle of the table. There’s a gentle thud as your forehead meets the cool vinyl surface.

“What are you gonna do about your lab Tuesday?”

“Pray I get hit by a bus.” You grumble, not moving an inch.

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I! It’s that or drop the class.”

“It’s too late for you to drop.”

“Death it is.”

You can feel the eye roll Seungkwan responds with.

“Have you two talked at all since then?”

“He has, I haven’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“He’s texted but I haven’t responded.”

“Let me see!”

Prying your head away from the table, your phone is unlocked and snatched away by your best friend. He reads the messages with mild horror.

[SATURDAY 1:07 AM]

Lee Sock-mint: hope you got home okay :)

[SATURDAY 1:08 AM]

Lee Sock-mint: I had a lot of fun btw

[SATURDAY 2:07 PM]

Lee Sock-mint: you left your jacket at the party but i snagged it, i can give it back tuesday

[TODAY 9:14 AM] 

Lee Sock-mint: wanna meet at the library tonight to go over this weeks lab?

“Oh sweetie…”

“I know!”

“Well, you fucked in this bed so now you have to lie in it.”

“You always know just what to say.”

“It’s a gift.” He shrugs.

“And it was Jihoon’s bed actually.”

“I take it back. You probably will die before Tuesday.”

You end up texting Dokyeom but only to tell him you’re already busy and you’ll see him on Tuesday. You feel bad for blowing him off but the disappointment from your tumble in the sheets still echoes in your head.

-

Tuesday Afternoon Approx 3:00 PM, Chem 326 Laboratory 

When Tuesday comes, Dokyeom is suspiciously absent from class and you have to work on the lab with Soonyoung instead.

“Heard you’re ghosting my bro.” 

It’s a statement, not a question and the look on Soonyoung’s usually cheerful face scares you a bit.

“Where’d you hear that?”

“You know, just hearing things.”

“I heard you cried Friday night about how much you love Eunha but she won’t give you the time of day.” You shrug your shoulders. “So maybe we’re both just hearing things.” 

“Well I heard you popped his cherry and ditched him right after!”

“I did what?”  You whisper yell, grabbing Soonyoung’s arm as your eyes go impossibly wide.

A few of the groups close to your table have turned around in curiosity but Soonyoung’s prone to random bouts of shouting so they’re interest fades quickly.

He has the decency to look ashamed of his outburst. You two are actually friends when it boils down to it but guy code has him siding with his best friend on this one.

“He said you basically ran out the door.”

“You know that’s not the part I’m questioning.”

“Wait, you didn’t know?” Soonyoung is shocked.

“No!” You shoot. “Do you think I’d deflower him at a gross frat party if I did?”

“Idiot.” He curses. “Sorry, not you. Well also you, but him mostly.”

“Why the fuck wouldn’t he tell me that?”

“Probably because he’s a junior and has barely even seen a girl naked?” He looks at you like you have two heads. “It’s a pride thing.”

“Yeah well his pride made him cum in two seconds.”

“Probably the two best seconds of his life.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Can you just, I don’t know, like, talk to him? He thinks you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him.”

“Tell him that, not me.”

-

After class is dismissed, you trudge across campus to your dorm replaying the conversation over and over. You’re both mortified and pissed. How could you not tell you?

You open your messages to send him a long overdue text.

[TODAY 4:27 PM] 

You: sorry I’ve been MIA :( wanna get dinner?

It’s cowardly but you’ve done worse.

[TODAY 4:48 PM] 

Lee Sock-mint: sorry, busy

Like hell he is. Dokyeom brags every Tuesday that your lab is the only thing on his schedule, unlike your four morning lectures in addition to your shared class that packs your day.

[TODAY 4:49 PM] 

You: we really need to talk

When your message goes unopened and unanswered for hours, you call in reinforcements.

“Are you home?”

“Well hello to you too.” Soonyoung greets sarcastically.

“Hi.” You deadpan rubbing your eyes, patience wearing thin. “Are you home?”

“Yes, what do you want?”

“Is he home?”

Silence.

“Come on Hosh, is he home?”

“Yeah but he hasn’t been out of his room all day.”

“I’m coming over.”

“What?”

“I need to talk to him!”

More silence.

“Fine but whatever the hell is going on, leave me out of it.”

“You’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

-

Tuesday Night Approx. 9:34PM, Soonyoung and Seokmin’s shared apartment

To say Dokyeom is shocked to find you gently knocking at his bedroom door on a Tuesday night, expression bashful and eyes filled to the brim with apologies, is an understatement. He knew Friday night didn’t give you the best impression but what could he do when the pretty girl from his chem lab he’s had a fat crush on all year let’s him fuck her after another one of his frat’s parties? 

The entire night you flirted with him, pressing your ass into his crotch as the shitty trap music Chan insisted on playing buzzed on; wrapping your arms around his neck, letting your fingers comb through the short strands of hair at the back of his head. Then all of a sudden your kissing and next thing he knows you’re pulling him up the stairs and into the first empty bedroom you can find. It was a whirlwind.

“Hi,” you whisper, a little afraid he’s gonna slam the door in your face.

“Hi,” he whispers back, still in disbelief that you’re in front of him.

“Can we talk? Please?”

He doesn’t answer but steps aside to open his door wide enough for you to walk past him. Taking a seat on the corner of his bed like you usually do when you study at his apartment, your eyes look everywhere except him.

“I, ugh,” clearing your throat, you start again. “I’m sorry about Friday.”

Dokyeom doesn’t know what to say so he remains silent, firmly planted by his door.

“Soonyoung told me about how you hadn’t, and I just,” You’re rambling from the guilt coursing through your veins. “I’m really really sorry.”

When your words register, Dokyeom finds himself simmering somewhere between anger and annoyance.

“You feel bad because I was a virgin?” He scoffs. “I don’t need you to pity me.””

“I don’t!” You insist. “I just, if i knew it was your first time I wouldn’t hav–”

“Wouldn’t have what?” He ventures.

“Done it in some gross frat house.” You mutter. 

“So you regret it?”

You think hard about your next words. Dokyeom is both your friend and your lab partner for the next two months. The latter is far less important to you now than it was this morning before Soonyoung spilled the beans.

“No.” Your voice is firm, “Okay, well maybe the fact that Jihoon is gonna kill us for doing it in his bed but no, I don’t regret it.”

“But you didn’t like it?”

“I liked…some of it.” You stutter.

“Oh.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Which parts?”

“Huh?”

“Which parts did you like?” Dokyeom rolls his eyes.

“Um, well, you’re a good kisser!” You assure.

“Is that all?”

“When you went down on me it was okay.” You wince.

“So basically everything besides kissing was bad.” 

“No!” You lie but he’s pinned you in place with a glare. “You, uh, you have a lot of potential!”

It’s Dokyeom’s turn to wince. He shuffles across the room to sit next to you on the bed, leaving a sizable distance between your bodies.

“When Soonyoung told you I was a virgin, did he tell you I had never done any of that before?”

Now that’s shocking. Shocking because you’ve seen girls flirting with him before. At parties, in class, at the library coffee shop; hell even a few dudes approached him. Dokyeom is liked by pretty much everyone on campus, including your own friends who have tried to get you to introduce them.

“No, he didn’t really go into specifics.”

“Oh.”

The atmosphere is already awkward so what’s one more question?

“So how much have you done?” 

“Well, after Friday…” Dokyeom trails off.

“Before Friday.” You clarify. 

“Well I’ve made out obviously. And, I mean, a girl went down on me freshman year.”

“That’s it?”

“Did you come here to make fun of me?” Defensiveness rolls off him in waves.

“No, it’s just…surprising is all.”

When you look over at him you can see the question on the tip of his tongue. 

“I’m just shocked you don’t have girls lining up because you’re like hot and nice and yeah.” You trail off, blush burning the tips of your ears.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Well I didn’t let you in my pants because I thought you were ugly!”

You both let out snorts of laughter.

“I’m sorry.” he apologizes.

“Why are you sorry?”

“I was just really excited to finally have a shot with you and I ended up looking like a complete loser.”

“Hey! That’s not fair,” you smirk. “I thought you were a loser before we hooked up.” 

Dokyeom grabs for the pillow behind him, gently tossing it at you as a bark of laughter leaves his mouth.

“How ‘bout we just agree to move on?” 

He does his best to suppress a crestfallen frown from bloom on his lips. Dokyeom tries to look at the positives of ignoring the fact that he’s seen you half naked, felt your mouth on his, how you feel spread on his fingers, spread on his cock; even if just for a short moment. As much as it would suck to never experience those things again, at least you’ll still be his friend. It also means you’ll forget that he’s a two pump chump. Bright side.

“Yeah.” He agrees, resolving himself. “Sounds good.”

After a beat of silence, you open your mouth again.

“You know, you’re the first virgin I’ve ever been with.”

“I thought we just agreed to forget about it?”

“No, we agreed to move on from being weird about it.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well, since I took your virginity, I feel I have a… responsibility.”

“Responsibility?” 

The sly smile twisting the corner of your mouth has Dokyeom choking on his own tongue. As you turn to face him fully, his breath catches in his throat.

“Yeah, what kind of friend would I be if I just let you be bad at sex and did nothing about it?”

Dokyeom can feel his pants tighten at your implication.

“Ugh, not a good one?”

“Exactly! I would be a bad friend if I didn't help you and I don’t want to be a bad friend.”

As you speak, you shift until you’re kneeling between his spread legs, maintain eye contact the entire time.

“Yeah that would be… bad.” His brain is working at half capacity due to your hands pushing up his thighs towards his zipper.

“So,” you blink slowly, smile shy with a subtle tilt of your head, “you’ll let me help you?”

Dokyeom feels himself nodding in agreement.

“Then let’s get started.”

[angstysebfan]

Was It A Mistake - Part 1

Pairing: Bucky x Fem Reader Chapter Summary: You and Bucky broke up but still remained friends. When you go on a shopping trip with your best friend, you learn a devastating thing. Warnings: Angst (duh its me lol), Arguments

Series Masterlist

You punch the punching bag in a series of combinations. Sweat dripping from your head and y/h/c hair. You’re the only one in the gym right now, but you knew that would change. You had a standing sparing appointment with your favorite super soldier.

Everyone in the tower thought it was weird that you and Bucky remained such good friends. You both dated for 3 years, and were hot and heavy. You realized the last six months, of your relationship, Bucky was pulling away from you. It broke your heart; so you decided distance yourself also, in preparation of him breaking up with you. You couldn't take the stress of waiting for him to break it off, so you begrudgingly did it. It completely killed you, but he didn't seem ultimately ruined, and you both decided to continue just being friends.

You were nervous that it would be awkward, but it wasn’t. You were just happy he was still in your life. You know you still loved him, but sometimes that's not enough. You were obviously not enough. That thought runs through your mind as you punch. You shake your thoughts from your head as you heard the gym doors close behind you.

“Tiring yourself out before I even get a chance to beat you fairly, doll?”

You turned around and see Bucky walking over the the bench to place his water and towel down. He's wearing navy blue basketball shorts that hung perfectly low on his hips, and as usual, no shirt. You couldn’t help admire the beautiful specimen in front of you.

“Ha, just warming up Buck. Don’t worry, I still have enough energy to kick your ass!” You yell, while pulling the tape off your hands.

You grab your towel and water and walk over to him, drinking and wiping your sweat.

He laughed, “Whatever you say. Shall we?” He asked walking toward the sparring mats.

After 30 minutes, and Bucky taking you out for the 5th time, you gave up. He offered his hand to help you get up. “One day… I’ll get you down… mark my words.” You say through your panted breath.

Bucky laughed. “Can’t wait.”

You both walk over the bench to grab a drink. You wipe your face with your towel when you hear the doors to the gym. Nat walks over to you both. “Hey guys!” She says smiling. 

“Hey Nat, you still up for shopping later?” you ask.

“Absolutely! Meet me in the common room at 1?” She asks.

You nod as you take a drink. You start walking out of the gym when you notice Nat and Bucky give each other knowing smirk and whispering to each other. It makes you feel uneasy, but ignore it as you head out to shower.

–

Later that day, you and Nat are shopping at the local mall. You sit outside the changing room as Nat tries on a new red dress. She comes out and looks in the mirror, turning at different angles to admire herself. You can’t help but notice how gorgeous she is. The dress fits her curves perfectly.

“Oh Nat, you definitely need to get that!” You say with a smile.

“Yeah, I think I will. It will be absolutely perfect.” She said as she turns and looks over the shoulder to see how it looks.

“Perfect for what?” You ask.

Nat looks at you through the mirror. You can see she looks… nervous? She turns toward you and gives you a small smile. “Bucky asked me out on a date. We've been hanging out a lot lately, and we wanted to finally give dating a try.”

Your jaw and stomach dropped. You can already feel the tears forming, but you internally yell at yourself to keep it together. You knew you weren't good enough. You would never be enough! You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a moment, willing the tears to disappear. When you open you see Nat still looking at you, waiting for your reaction.

“U-uh, wow! I, um, I-I didn’t know you guys… were…were talking.”

You cringe at your shaking voice. Nat looks at you with minimal sympathy in her eyes, which pisses you off. You didn't understand how this happened. Nat knew what happened between you and Bucky, as she was your best friend. You confided in her about everything, including that you are still in love with him. And now you learn she has been moving in on him and they are going on a date?!

“It wasn’t a planned thing. I swear, and I'm sorry I didn’t tell you. I know should've, but I’m…” She trails off, looking down at her hands. You have never seen her look so nervous. 

“You’re what, Natalia?” You say slowly standing, getting angrier.

She looks at you. “I’m falling for him, hard. And he told me that he's falling for me too.”

She might as well had slapped you in the face. You grab your bags without saying another word and left. You ignore her calls for you. You finally let the tears come down your face as you head out to grab a cab to head back to the tower. 

-

You try to control yourself as you ride the elevator up to the residential floors of the tower. As soon as you walk out, you see him with a concerned look on his face. You figured Nat called him and told him what happened, but you couldn’t deal with him right now. Just looking at him caused the tears to come down. You quickly turn and head to your room.

“Y/N, please. Don’t run away from me,” You hear him call.

You try and outrun him, but he was so much faster. Before you even got a chance to close the door, he pushed his way into your room.

“Get out!” You scream.

He looks devastated. You've never yelled at him, even when you guys fought when you were together. “Y/N, please. Talk to me,” he begs.

He was so confused by your reaction. You're the one who broke his heart. He was ready to marry you and then was told that you wanted to end things with him. It crushed him, so he distanced himself, hoping to ease the pain. You eventually did end it, and asked to be friends. He didn’t fight it because he was hoping you would change your mind. He has been miserable for months, pretending to be friends with you, when all he wanted is to be with you.

Nat helped him by being there and listening to him whine about how much he missed you. He opened up to her about feeling like he wasn't enough, and she showed him that he was enough for her. He couldn’t help but start developing feelings. Nat was the only one who knew how he felt about you, but is still willing to try with him. Willing to help him move on from you.

“Please….” he whispered, on the verge of tears.

A sob escapes your lips. “Buck… why? Why Nat? Why my best friend?”

You knew it didn’t matter who he was dating, but you needed to know why her. He shook his head, sniffing. 

“When you broke up with me, I-I was miserable. I didn’t know what to do. Nat was there, and she let me confide my feelings to her. As time went on, I started to develop feelings. I…. I didn’t think you would care! You didn’t want to be with me! You were the one who wanted to be friends! I’m sorry, but I didn't think you'd care," he said the last part in a whisper as he silently cried.

You were confused as you took in what he said. He was miserable? I broke his heart? He didn't want to break up? He confided in Nat, while you also confided in Nat? You look at him in shock. He was confused by your reaction. 

“I… I don’t understand. You became distant, which is why I broke up with you. I thought you didn’t want me anymore; that I wasn't enough for you. I thought us being friends was better than losing you all together.” You said. Bucky stares at you confused. “Nat… Nat talked to you about us?” You asked, and Bucky silently nodded. 

Betrayed. That was the word that went through your mind. Your so-called best friend knew that both you and Bucky still loved each other, but kept it quiet so she could take him. You couldn’t believe it! Bucky obviously didn’t realize what was happening either.

“I…. I need to think.” Bucky said, leaving you alone in your room.

You couldn’t move. All you kept thinking was that there was miscommunication somewhere between you and Bucky, and neither of you actually wanted to break up. Nat knew this, but kept it quiet and made a move on Bucky. But why did Bucky become distant in the first place? There are so many questions in your head that you can barely think straight. You had to get to the bottom of this, somehow.

One thing you already know is, Nat back stabbed you. You will never forgive her for this.

--

Part 2

What do we think? No matter what it's messed up to go after your besties ex. Feedback is appreciated.

Permanent Taglist: @rebekahdawkins @marajade1974 @missvelvetsstuff @phillygirl77 @pattiemac1 @winterslove1917 @vampire7595

[mavrintarou]

[12:19 AM] Sakusa Kiyoomi

I figure, if I'm hitting a roadblock with WYE, I should write other things about Omi to hopefully get me over the roadblock? Lol, wishful thinking? Well, here's soulmate au Omi.

Warning: fluff; explicit smut (18+) this Omi is something else...

Note: It's late and I have nothing edited

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You sighed for the nth time looking at your soulmate who was sitting across the room from you.

Sakusa Kiyoomi was engrossed in the video on his phone, oblivious to you shooting daggers at him. You weren’t sure if he was testing your patience or if he was just oblivious to your needs.

It has been nine months since you two have found one another. From time to time, you still find yourself chuckling at the unconventional way the two of you crossed paths. It wasn’t your run-of-the-mill soulmate origin story that most couples experience.

You crossed paths with Kiyoomi at the club the night of your birthday. He was the only person in the busy and lively club with a mask on. The first thing that crossed your mind when you locked your eyes with the emotionless and cold eyes was that he was in the wrong place with how awkward his body language was. You noticed the two vertical beauty marks on his forehead just right above his left eye and thought how odd it was for you to spot such a distinct feature at a distance.

Little did you know, he was in the right place that very moment.

After a few shots, the liquid courage kicked in and you wanted to go to the dance floor with your friends. As you made your way to the dance floor, something caught the corner of your eyes and you turned your head, locking eyes once again with the man earlier. This time, it was as if he had his eyes on you for some time.

Brushing it off, you hooked your arms with your friends, marching together to the dance floor.

You swayed your body to the beat of the music, letting yourself go. It has been years since you had last been to the club.

It wasn’t long before you felt a body behind you, and normally, you were aware enough to turn around and tell them off.

Just this one time, you decided to allow this person to dance with you.

Their hard chest pressed against your back as their hot breath fanned your ear, “may I dance with you?”

You turned your head, shouting loudly against the music, “sure!”

Their hand rests against your hip and you are aware of how large their hand is. You press yourself against their body, swaying your bodies together. They felt perfect against you, or you molded perfectly against him.

“You’re playing a dangerous game here,” they murmured into your ear, their teeth nipping your earlobe.

 You instantly became somewhat sober when you realized you were grinding into his crotch. You were about to take a step away from him when his arm wrapped around your waist, keeping you pressed against him. Feeling all of him.

“Don’t, please,” he groaned, “you’ll leave me looking like a fool with a hard-on in the middle of the dance floor.”

You weren’t sure why you weren’t running for the hills, any other time, you would have found this creepy and a complete turnoff.

Instead, you continue to keep swaying with him, slower this time, with less pressure. Your hands reached up to touch him, one hand wrapped around behind his neck and the other into his hair. Oddly enough, you felt comfortable in the embrace of this person.

His face is buried into the junction of your neck and shoulder, you can feel his lips press against your skin.

His left hand trailed along the length of your left arm until it found your hand and brought it down so he could intertwine your fingers together. His hand was much larger than yours, your fingers naturally closed in and wrapped around his.

You gasped and moaned when an unknown tingle zapped through your entire body.

“Fuck… no way,” he groaned into your ear, “I knew it…” he chuckled.

His chuckle was so sexy you felt your panties damp instantly.

Your mind couldn’t comprehend, everything was attacking you at all angles. All you knew was that at this exact moment, everything felt right, complete, and whole.

You turned around, your hands still intertwined. You finally looked up at the stranger that had been dancing with you and your mouth dropped as you recognized the eyes, that were no longer expressionless or cold, but warm and burning with passion as they stared deep into yours. His whole face is revealed and he was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen.

The height difference between you two was drastic, he towered over you, your body pressed close against his.

“What is your name?” Even against the loud music, you heard just him.

“Y/l/n Y/f/n,” you whispered, “you?”

His lips curved into a breathtaking smile the moment he heard your name. You felt his joy and excitement, now understanding when you heard about soulmates being able to feel the emotions of their partners. “My name is Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

He slipped his left hand away from yours, your eyes immediately spotting your initials inked and glowing red on his pinky. The SK initials on your finger glowed just as brightly.

You two have been inseparable since that night.

Kiyoomi told you that he had fought tooth and nail to get out from going to the club but was dragged there by Bokuto and Miya. “For the first time, I’m actually thankful for them.” He kissed your knuckles, nipping your pinky finger that had his initials on it. “Otherwise, I would have not found you.”

“Did you have a clue at all that it could have been me?” You asked, reliving that night. You wondered if the moment your eyes met his as he entered the club was a sign, a connection between you both that was pulling you closer together.

“I saw you from across the room and knew, I just knew something was pulling me towards you and had to go to you.” He intertwined his fingers with yours, something he did daily as if he needed to feel his mark against yours. “Make note that I would have never danced with anyone willingly, but the moment I spotted you, it was like you just knew. As soon as your body pressed against mine, I knew,” he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, “I knew you were the one when you filled the missing spot in my life at that moment.”

You nestle into his arms, realizing that ever since you met him, everything about him has become your purpose in life.

Before finding Omi, your family and friends who have found their pair were always lovey-dovey with one another, grossing you out.

Now, you understand it.  

Neither of you could keep your hands… or mouth off of each other.

But now, you wanted more.

Except, Kiyoomi hasn’t shown any interest in giving you more.

He always stopped at a heavy kiss. Always pulling away and tapping your nose that it was enough. You’ve felt his bulge before, and he hasn’t allowed you to help him take care of it, always telling you that he can take care of it himself.

At first, you thought maybe you were the one rushing him and respected his boundaries.

However, how much longer should you wait?

“Kiyoomi.” You took a seat next to him. He stopped his video and set his phone down, giving you his full attention. Your ears burned and knew they were probably red because of how anxious you were and from what you were about to ask him. “Do you…” you choked. You loved how Kiyoomi always made sure to give you eye contact, letting you know you had his undivided attention but it was moments like this that you felt so little under his gaze. “How come –“ you froze, blinking at him dumbfoundedly. “Never mind.”

You got up quickly but before you could even take a step away, strong arms wrapped around your body, pulling you down until you were sitting on his lap.

He nuzzled his face into your shoulder, “tell me.”

You shook your head, face heating up with embarrassment.

His head lifted off your shoulder and you felt his hand gently grip your chin to turn so your eyes could meet, “tell me.” His tone was more authoritative, and you wanted nothing more than for him to use that tone on you for the rest of your life.

You exhaled, “do… not find me sexually attractive?”

His brows furrowed immediately as he exclaimed, “what?”

Not wanting to repeat yourself, you jerked your chin out of his grasp and looked away. You were beyond embarrassed.

As he always teases you, he chuckles because he knows you love the sound of it.

Your breath hitches when you feel his lips press against your jawline. “You have no idea, Y/n. I’m so fucken sexually attracted to you.”

You quickly glance at him and frown, “they why haven’t you touched me?”

One of his hands moves to touch your calve and slides upward underneath the skirt you wore. “And how do you want me to touch you?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as his rough fingertips danced against your thigh and shifted to the inner side. Your brain was beginning to malfunction as you tried to comprehend his hand and his lips on your skin.

A shaky breath left your lips and you widen your legs before grabbing his hand that’s underneath your skirt and pressing his fingertips right to your covered pussy. “Here,” you whispered, looking into his eyes. “Touch me here, Omi. Here.” It was his turn to blink at you dumbfoundedly. You pressed his fingers against your sensitive clit and a soft breath exhaled. You pressed your mouth to his and whispered, “I want your fingers inside of me.”

You lift yourself off his lap and stand before him, his hand frozen in mid-air. “Will you touch me, Omi?”

In the same authoritative tone moments ago, he ordered, “take your clothes off and straddle my lap.”

Your squeal couldn’t be contained as you quickly stripped off your shirt and skirt. Of all the days that it could have happened, it was the day you wore unmatching undergarments but you could have cared less at the moment, removing your black bra and red panties.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked, sensing your hesitation. He patted his lap, “come here.”

You weren’t sure why suddenly you were hesitating, as if having second thoughts. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Kiyoomi cocked his head to the side and grinned, “you’re naked in front of me and you’re now saying you don’t want to make me feel uncomfortable?” He leaned back against the couch and pressed a hand to his crotch, “do you see this?”

Your mouth watered at the sight of the outline of his cock against his joggers. “But why are you always taking care of it yourself… when you have me?”

Kiyoomi reached for your hand, “because I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He pulled you until you straddled his thighs and rested both his hands on your hips, his thumb tracing along your hip bones. “I know that I won’t be able to control myself if I start,” he looked up at you with dark and dilated pupils. “If I have a taste, I will want to devour everything.”

You cup his face, brushing his curls away. “Well then, Bon Appetit.”

You’re lifted into the air and gasp when Kiyoomi carries you over his shoulder towards the bedroom. He dropped you onto your shared bed and began swiftly undressing.

Your jaw dropped the moment you saw his cock sprang free. “Oh…”

He attacks you without warning, lips pressed against yours before moving hungrily. “Wrap your arms and legs around me,” he commanded and the moment your ankles locked around his waist and arms around his neck, an arm slips underneath your back and he lifts you effortlessly towards the middle of the bed.

“Y/n,” he murmurs against your mouth and lifts his head, he loosens your hold around his neck and stations your wrists beside your head before loosening your legs around his waist. He sits back on his heels and admires you. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

His eyes trail down your body before his hand playfully teases from your belly button down to your clit where he circles the sensitive bud with his thumb, slowly rubbing it in circles.

You inhale sharply, “please…” your hips rocking against his thumb.

His thumb releases the pressure on your clit and you whimper but it trails lower until you feel it slips inside of you. He thrusts his thumb in and out of your pussy before rotating his hand and two of his fingers replaced his thumb.

“Omi…” you moaned, “oh Omi… more…”

“I wanted to please you with my fingers as you wished for but…” he hand paused, “I don’t think I can wait any longer, Y/n.” He slipped his fingers out and wraps them around his cock. “I need to be inside of you now.”

You nod your head, widening your legs.

“But I don’t have any condoms,” he leans forward onto his other hand, “I want nothing more than to cum inside of you, Y/n. I don’t wait to waste any more of my cum on my hand or with tissue, I want it inside of you badly.”

Your arms reached out to him, “yes – yes cum inside of me.”

“You will risk getting pregnant? Having my baby?” God, you love his dirty talk. “You’ll let me breed you?”

“Yes! Yes, breed me, Omi.” You watched his cock glide against your folds before he pressed further. The intrusion was foreign as your body stretched to welcome his cock. “Oh God, Omi… Omi – wait…”

He groaned as he pushed until he was fully inside of you. “I waited long enough, Y/n…” his hips began moving at a steady pace. “Look at how well you’re taking me,” your eyes follow his, watching his cock piston in and out of you.

Kiyoomi grabs both your legs and presses your knees into your chest, “is this okay?” You nodded, as he shifted your legs so they were parallel with his body as he bends you nearly in half. His groan each time he thrusts inside of you was your second favorite thing next to his chuckle.

“Kiss me,” you begged, he pressed you further in half as his mouth connected with yours. His tongue slipped past your lips to tangle with yours.

Your lower tummy tingles before your orgasm tips over the edge. You moan against Kiyoomi’s mouth, nails digging into his arms as your pussy squeezes around his cock. His cock fills you twice more before you feel the odd sensation of hot fluid filling you inside.

Your jello legs collapse on the bed as Kiyoomi rests on his heels. His cock was still very much lodged inside of you, plugging you up with his cum.

He grabbed one of your legs and swung it over, shifting you onto your hands and knees. “That was only the appetizer.”

E/n: Gawd this man... okay back to WYE.

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@queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy

[ryuichirou]

Speaking of pictures, which of the TWST boys would take sexy photos and/or nudes of themselves and send it to their respective paramours and how would the said paramours react?

Sorry for the late reply, Anon. I’m slowly working through the list of older asks… please be patient with me.

Riddle – very unlikely, he might get coerced or provoked though. I don’t think he would do it with Trey, but if he suddenly did send him a nude, Trey wouldn’t believe his eyes and it would probably take quite some time for him to response… Floyd would be shocked too, like yeah he did tease Riddle about being a chicken and not wanting to take a dick pic, but he didn’t expect him to actually do it. He would call Riddle lewd because he knows that he is going to lose his shit lol

Ace – he wouldn’t mind sending a dick pic, but he doesn’t do it out of the blue, only if the atmosphere gets kind of flirtatious and spicy. It usually happens with Deuce, so they would still bicker and tease each other, but if Ace sends Deuce a nude picture, Deuce would probably send something like “whht” and go offline. Because he got embarrassed, freaked out and threw the phone out of the window… pray that no one picks it up and sees it, Ace.

Deuce – he wouldn’t think of it himself, but he could be asked to. He won’t agree initially, but after some bickering he might. He is very awkward in his nudes though, it’s obvious that he is very embarrassed, but once he gets used to it and starts sending pics to Ace on a regular basis, he’ll get stupidly good and even inventive with some of his angles. While still being super embarrassed about it. Ace doesn’t praise him for good pics, a lot of times he jokes or comments kind of vaguely, as if he didn’t ask for a pic himself, but… he saves every single one of them.

Trey – nah, it would be way too embarrassing. I don’t think it’s impossible to make him send a nude, and if he and the recipient get too flirtatious, when after like a week or two of teasing Trey might actually send a picture showing a little bit of his crotch area (although I can’t think of anyone who we ship Trey with that could do it, maybe Vil? Maybe though). But if Riddle suddenly received a nude picture of him, Trey would apologise before Riddle could even react. And then they’d have an awkward conversation about how it’s totally okay and nothing weird has happened… right… not a big deal… (Riddle won’t be able to get the image out of his head )

Cater – he either doesn’t take pictures at all when he isn’t dating someone (and he currently isn’t, just laments about how nice it would be to exchange hot pics with someone), or sends them to random recipients on one of those forums where people want anonymous nudes. But if it’s the latter, the pics are obviously faceless. I think it’s the former though…

Leona – does he even use his phone? If Ruggie asked him to send him a picture, Leona would refuse, but not because of obvious reasons, but because he is lazy and Ruggie should do it himself if he wants a picture so badly, but it won’t be for free. Great, Leona, now start charging Ruggie of all people for a fucking pic lol

Ruggie – he has no idea why anyone would want to see his scrawny body, but hey, if he is getting paid for it, he doesn’t care. He’ll take a picture of anything other than his butt, that’s just a little too weird for him lol But if Leona received his picture for some reason, he would probably be confused and ask if Ruggie is feeling okay. He never replies to Ruggie’s text, so… is the fact that he sent a nude so troubling that Leona doesn’t even get mad?

Jack – this is way too embarrassing to him, but it’s not impossible to bully him into it. Well, it’s almost impossible, it’s very difficult because he is super stubborn and doesn’t like the idea of pictures of his down-there existing anywhere. But if this is an abs pic (+a boob pic, which he doesn’t realise lol), he could get persuaded. Vil would call him a good boy for that lol why is it Vil who ends up asking these introverted boys for nudes?? That doesn’t sound right…

Azul – he wouldn’t, because he feels like this is pretty much creating his own blackmail, and he doesn’t trust anyone enough to send a nude picture of himself with full knowledge that it won’t be used against him in the future. That being said, sometimes he really likes how his body looks, and he might take a picture just to see it at a different angle… but then he has to delete it in less than 5 minutes!! God forbid someone finds his phone or, even worse, if he accidentally sends it to someone.

Jade – he wouldn’t. But if his loved one expresses just how much he doesn’t want to receive a dick pic, he is absolutely going to. He is a wild card lol you never know with Jade. Intuitively and regularly he absolutely wouldn’t, but when Idia-san is so sure that he’ll never get a dick pic from him… Jade’s entire being won’t stop itching in anticipation until he sends him a nude and freaks him out lol He’ll totally say “My apologies, I didn’t mean to send you this. This is very embarrassing” afterwards, although both of them would know that he isn’t sorry at all.

Floyd – idk, he feels weird about nudes, he doesn’t like to send one to a person who asked for it, but at the same time he doesn’t feel like taking a picture of himself either… until he does. Sometimes he fools around and ends up taking a bunch of pretty hot pictures. With him biting his shirt to keep his crotch and stomach exposed, or just holding a dick and stuff. He doesn’t take them with a thought to send it to someone, but he might just for the heck of it. He might also actually send one on accident… the reaction of the recipient is always fun, it takes them some time to realise that this is in fact Floyd’s dick and yes it is that massive. Riddle and Idia would probably block him in panic lol but stare at the pic afterwards.

Kalim – he takes and sends tons of pictures, but none of them are usually sexual. He loves spamming Jamil with selfies, but every once in a while veeery rarely he might send a dick pic to Jamil. You know, just to show how much he misses him (even if they haven’t been together for like a day or two). Jamil always yells at him and asks him not to do it, what if someone hacks his phone and leaks the photo everywhere?? And Kalim is so bad at not exposing himself, there’s always either his tattoo, his things or even his face showing!

Jamil – he wouldn’t, but he still does because Kalim asks for it. And while Kalim always reacts with excitement, he could get surprisingly specific and demanding, so Jamil always has to take pictures at weird angles, in weird poses and such. Some of them are super indecent and exposing…  If things were up to Jamil, he would take pictures that show just enough to drive the recipient insane, without actually showing his private parts. He has such a talent for seduction… and very low sex drive and interest in the field.

Vil – very rarely, and his pics are always faceless. His nudes are always top notch, and he doesn’t mind teasing his lover and he loves throwing the starving dog a bone every now and then, but he is super paranoid about privacy. Vil has seen so many celebrities suffering from leaks, he can’t always shut down the feeling of being watched. This contradicts another hc I wrote a couple of weeks ago (maybe), but if Ortho creates a private impenetrable unhackable cloud storage just for Vil, he might take pictures more often. As for Rook, whenever he gets a pic from Vil, he either bombards him with compliments or goes completely silent for like 30 minutes, while being online the whole time. Kind of creepy… 

Rook – he prefers to receive pictures, not take ones himself. He doesn’t get asked for pictures all that often either. But if he does (I can’t think of anyone other than Vil who would be even remotely interested…), he could take quite a decent pic. And he is quite stealthy about it, like the details of the background imply that he is outside and surrounded by people, how the fuck did he manage to take a picture without getting noticed?! His dick pics stress Vil out… go hide somewhere next time…

Epel – I can picture him both being provoked into taking a picture (he isn’t a chicken!!!) and taking it himself, but it would still be super embarrassing and awkward to him. I can also picture him accidentally sending the picture to the wrong recipient lol Like he meant to send it to Floyd but sent it to Rook instead… And he is lucky if it’s Rook, because Rook won’t tell anyone about it. Just look at Epel very meaningfully while Epel gets red and dies out of embarrassment every time their eyes meet.

Idia – no no no no no, no way, absolutely impossible! Well… He might get bullied into doing it though. By Ortho (puppy eyes!! Because the boy really wanted to receive a cute nude pic…), by the Tweels (blackmailing him into doing it? as an option) or by Lilia (just by the sheer alpha energy that is both arousing and frightening at the same time). Funny enough, I can’t really picture Azul asking Idia to send him a nude…do better, Azul.

Ortho – he is so, SO UPSET that he can’t fully experience this thing. He doesn’t even have a phone! He is a phone! But this isn’t going to stop him, so he might actually somehow take a picture and send it to Idia, going “oops, sorry niisan, I sent it on accident, completely forgot to delete this one!”, as if this is even possible… Both Idia and he know he is just messing around lol He analysed terabytes of dick pics and nudes to take perfect pictures though.

Lilia – he might. For funsies lol Especially if he knows it’s going to tease his lover, and I feel like he is the most likely to do it for Idia. He would mostly take provocative pictures, try some weird angles, but those make his back hurt, so he’ll end up just sending Idia a dick pic. Either way, it would freak Idia out lol

Silver – he doesn’t initiate it, but he does it… well, he used to do it quite often for Lilia back when he got his first phone. He is better at it than one would expect him to be, but this is because Lilia made him retake pictures multiple times until he was satisfied. But he doesn’t ask him for pictures all that much these days, so if Silver sends him one, he would be very surprised… in a good way. And Sebek would be in shock lol he would call Silver and yell at him. He won’t delete the pictures though… why, Sebek?

Sebek – I don’t think he’d do it by his own volition unless he is either being tricked or forced to do it, but even then he would be super embarrassed. And any of his potential partners would be shocked to get a Sebek dick pic… It would be so confusing that no one would probably even want to address it (especially Idia, although he would be freaked out by Sebek’s size). Malleus might get furious, but he’ll quickly realise that poor Sebek was probably tricked into doing something like this, so he’ll feel bad for him lol Silver will just very vaguely ask Sebek to be careful next time. He isn’t really shocked by the pic itself, it’s not the first time he sees Sebek’s thing…

Malleus – well, if he manages to figure out how the phone camera works and how to send it… without actually breaking the phone… can his phone even do that? In any case, Sebek wouldn’t believe his eyes and would probably collapse and stop functioning for at least an hour, and Lilia would get very surprised and then rush to explain Malleus that he probably shouldn’t be doing this since he is a future king and all. But maybe… a couple of pictures wouldn’t hurt, right?

[brilliant-red-eternity]

[Psycho-Pass Providence spoilers]

I thought long and hard about sharing spoilers with you on my blog, but here they are: a buffet for Shinkane fans! I can’t guarantee that the spoilers are 100% correct since I haven’t seen the movie myself and translations can be messy, but I try my best – feel free to correct me, to add things or to call me a crackpot and liar!

I had a feeling that many of you would like to know (at least to some extent) what this movie is about and if Shinkane becomes canon. It will probably take some time for PPP to be released outside Japan and as we all know, patience is a virtue. Don’t read if you don’t want spoilers. I’m serious! There are major spoilers in this text! But if you don’t mind, here’s a summary of what I picked up from Japanese fans who have already seen the movie:

1. The first meeting with Unit One after Ko’s return goes as expected: Ginoza is angry and Sugo has to prevent him from going off on Kogami. The atmosphere between Akane and Kogami is described as awkward and tense even when working together on the new case. They travel to Dejima (?) and Saiga accompanies Akane because he’s the only one who can access the Stronskaya document.

2. When Kogami and Saiga have a drink in the apartment/hotel, Saiga urges Ko to contact Akane and to come clean with her. He obeys by calling her. Akane tells him to apologize (“I just want you to say sorry”) but he doesn’t, so she hangs up the phone. Kogami seems to be very irritated and I can’t wait to see his face. Also what is the meaning of the empty liquor bottle on Ko’s table?

3. Ginoza asks Kogami on the boat “Why did you come back? It was our duty to protect Tsunemori” to which Kogami answers something like “For someone else’s sake again.” Does it mean that he came back for Akane? I think so. Ginoza seems to smile a little when he hears this.

4. We already saw the scene where Ko shields Akane from the explosion, but I don’t know exactly what happens afterwards. They say the angle of view is a little erotic (this can also be translated as horny, obscene) LOL

5. When the Peacebreakers attack, Saiga-sensei dies. I think he gets stabbed and then falls over a railing into the depths of the building. Akane tries to save him but he lets go of her hand so that she doesn’t fall with him. Phew! This is going to be hard to watch. No wonder why the Japanese fans cried! When Akane finds his dead body, the one who comforts her is Ginoza. Ko goes after Akira to fight him in a landscape holo room (?) aka that scene with the horse.

6. Now the elevator scene. Akane cries over the death of Saiga but Kogami seems unable to comfort her. Something holds him back (his own grief maybe?) so he just pats her on the shoulder saying something like “Focus on your duty, and cry after everything is over” and Akane says “Yes”. It sounds a bit heartless and reserved, doesn’t it? Why all the drama?

7. Then there’s an interrogation at SAD or PSB headquarters and Kogami gets shot by the arrested Akira whose consciousness was hacked. Ko ends up in the hospital where Akane visits him and finally they talk to each other and come to an agreement. This is very reminiscent of PP1.

8. I was a bit surprised to hear that Akane is invited to Kei’s wedding and that Arata’s dad commits suicide in his car after giving a speech. Really? On the wedding day of his son’s best friend? Did Arata witness this? Holy sh--! At least, I read that Akane followed Arata into the parking lot and perhaps was able to comfort him.

9. Akane leads the operation to stop the Peacebreakers. Before she leaves (gets on the plane?) Kogami is worried and says “Hey, don’t do anything reckless” and she replies “I can’t promise you that, so you better come quickly please.” Is she flirting with him? I think it’s cute and quite self-confident.

10. When Akane is defeated in the fight against the white haired man who points a gun to her head, Kogami rushes to her aid. The plan was to arrest the guy but things went out of hand. Kogami shoots him and then he hugs the injured Akane – yes, that’s what it says in the comments! I can’t wait to see this! I read that Akane says something like “I made Kougami-san kill again” to which he answers “And I will be held accountable for it”. The hug seems to have been a request from director Shiotani, because (as we already know) Akane and Ko won’t see each other for a long time after that.

11. The end is a bit confusing and I’m not sure if I got it right: Kogami is arrested and Akane writes him a letter that is just as emotional as Ko’s letter in PP1. She says that he had a great influence on her life and that she can’t promise him anything. Then she goes off to kill chief Kasei during some public event (?) because Sibyl wants to introduce a new bill that would strip the Ministry of Justice of all authority (?). Akane’s crime coefficient is low because you can’t kill a cyborg. But from the public’s perspective, she’s a killer. She seems to sacrifice herself for the dream of a just society that abides by the law instead of Sibyl’s despotism. Now Sibyl has to judge her. They have to reveal and explain her low CC without looking like idiots. Good luck, Sibyl! Akane seems to have set a precedent in PPP.

12. Kogami goes free and Akane is sent to the isolation facility where she finally breaks down and cries. He promises to pick her up when she is released – and so he does in FI when he finally manages to apologize! Some fans say that even though Kogami’s crimes aren’t punished by law it’s clear from his emotions that Akane’s imprisonment is his punishment. His actions had an impact on others, especially on someone he cherishes and loves. But unlike Kogami who killed out of revenge and violated the law, Akane has committed a crime in order to uphold the law. The Japanese fans cried at the end. Kogami must look pretty miserable! Seems as if Shinkane has a habit of breaking each other’s hearts and ours too, huh? But we know they will reunite in FI, so there’s hope! And who knows what the future holds.

Well, the movie covers many issues: foreign politics, references from the bible, Bifrost, new technology and AI, lots of action and so on. It’s quite exhausting to do research in Japanese as a beginner, so I only focused on the things I wanted to know. In other words: Akane, Kogami, Ginoza and Shinkane! I can’t wait for this movie to be released in my country, although I think it will probably be another year :’(

One last thing: speculations about the nature of the relationship between Akane and Kogami are running wild on social media again but all I can say is that if only a mere 20% of the above is true, then you can’t speak of platonic. Sorry, it’s not possible! There are far too many emotions, far too much awkwardness here that you don’t go through as “just friends”. They’re not a couple, but both of them are probably aware that they could become one if they chose to.

[arecaceae175]

Remedy

Fic raffle gift for @blarghy-blergh!!! Blargh, I'm pretty sure you can't interact on tumblr rn but I wanted you to see it anyway! If you need me to remove the tag I can also do that <3<3<3.

Summary: Wild has a chronic pain flare up while the group is separated. Legend helps, and then they have a conversation about internalized ableism and accessibility.

1572 words, hurt/comfort

Notes:

I’m apparently vibing with chronic pain Legend and Wild lately (I started this one the day after I posted my last chronic pain one lol). This turned into Wild AND Legend hurt/comfort, I hope you don’t mind :D. I’m not sure about the end of this tbh, but I hope you enjoy!!!

Warnings: chronic pain flare up, little teeny bit of internalized ableism, discussion of pain but not in detail

Disclaimer: I do not experience chronic pain. I have some intermittent pains from my disabilities but not chronic pain itself. In addition to using my own experiences, I did some research so I could try to make this as accurate as possible :). I used info for myofascial pain/muscle spasm, hypertrophic and contracture scarring, and generalized chronic pain flare ups. Also fun fact: all the remedies Wild uses here are based on real world remedies. The jelly he has is basically magic icy hot XD

When Wild stumbled over nothing but dirt for the fourth time, Legend decided enough was enough. 

“Alright, that’s it,” Legend said. He turned around and put a hand out in front of Wild’s chest. Wild couldn’t stop himself in time and walked into it, then blinked in surprise when he felt the impact. 

“We need to stop,” Legend said. Wild’s eyes moved in Legend’s direction, but took longer than usual to focus.

“What?” Wild asked. His voice was quieter than usual. Legend frowned.

“We’re stopping,” Legend said. 

“We can’t,” Wild rasped. Legend huffed in frustration, crossed his arms, and stared at Wild. Wild held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his eyes to the ground. 

Legend took the moment of silence to study Wild’s body language. Wild’s shoulders were hunched and curled to the left, his skin was pale, and he was holding his left arm at an awkward angle, one fist clutching his shirt. He was leaning heavily on his right foot. Legend sighed in sympathy as he realized what was going on: pain flare up.

“I should have noticed,” Legend muttered. Then, louder, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Wild at least had the decency to look ashamed. “This is my Hyrule.”

“And?”

“And?  We’re separated and no one else knows how to navigate here. It’s my responsibility to find everyone and keep us safe here. And…” Wild’s voice got quieter, and he sighed exasperatedly. “I was really hoping it would go away.” 

Wild brought his right hand up to rub his eyes, then let it fall gently to his side. Legend felt the tension drain out of him. He sighed and walked over to Wild, then put a gentle hand on his back. 

“Okay,” Legend said. He started to rub comforting circles on Wild’s back, the way Sky does sometimes when he’s the one stuck in a flare up. 

“Look, I get it,” Legend continued as Wild turned his head away so Legend couldn’t see his face. “I know you’re worried about the others. I am too. But you won’t be able to help if you overdo it and make the pain worse. You have to listen to your body.”

“I know,” Wild whispered in a shaky voice. 

“Are we close to a town or anything?” Legend asked. 

“No,” Wild muttered. “I was hoping we would reach Lakeside Stable before it got bad.”

“What about your slate? Can you, what do you call it, warp?” Legend asked, waving one hand aimlessly to help him remember the words. 

Wild shook his head and flinched immediately. “Makes it worse. Learned from experience,” Wild said through what sounded like gritted teeth.

“Alright, let's stop here, then. I’ll make sure the area’s clear once you’re settled,” Legend said. Wild nodded. 

Legend led him to the nearest patch of grass and let Wild lean against a tree while Legend quickly set up his bedroll. Wild had his eyes clenched shut and his breathing was carefully controlled. A small smile crept onto Legend's face. He taught Wild that breathing technique. 

As soon as the bedroll was set up Legend guided Wild to lay down. Wild put all his weight on Legend and on his right leg, and carefully avoided moving his left hip or shoulder as much as possible. Once Wild was laying down, Legend made sure there was enough padding, but not too much, underneath the worst of Wild’s scarring. 

“Just checking,” Legend said. “It’s the scars, right?” 

“Yeah,” Wild said as he threw his right arm over his eyes. “Scars and hip and shoulder. Same injury. And... everywhere.”

“I’m out of potions. You?” Legend asked. 

“I’ve got green,” Wild said. 

“That won’t help,” Legend said. “Unless you want to be awake and energized through this.”

“Definitely not.”

“Wars used the last of the valerian root last week, didn’t he?” Legend asked. “Got anything else to help you sleep?”

“Um,” Wild said. His fists clenched and a pained grunt slipped out of his mouth. Even beneath Wild’s clothes, Legend could see his muscles spasm.

Legend felt his own joints throb in sympathy. He pulled a few rings off his fingers, the ones enchanted to relieve pain, and gently placed his hand over Wild’s fist. 

“When you can, open your hand,” Legend said softly. “Remember to breathe.”

Wild’s breaths began to even out at Legend’s words. After a minute, His fingers uncurled enough for Legend to slip the rings on his fingers. Luckily, most of the group had small hands, so Legend could share his rings when he needed to. 

“Can I get the herbs out of your bag? I know the case,” Legend said. “Squeeze my hand once for no, twice for yes.” Wild squeezed twice.

Legend nodded and turned to Wild’s bag. He pulled out the leather case and opened the clasp. It unrolled to show numerous tubes and jars, all labeled in Flora’s pristine handwriting.

Dandelion and stinging nettle tea - Joint health 

Mint, lavender, and fire chu chu jelly - Scar gel

Willow bark - Pain relief

Chamomile - Calming

Valerian root - Sleep aid

The valerian root case was empty. Most of the group dealt with nightmares or insomnia at one point or another. Wild usually brewed the dandelion tea in the evenings and shared it with anyone who wanted some. Wild was always happy to share his supplies, but that meant they went fast. They stocked up as much as they could whenever they found themselves in Wild’s Hyrule. 

Legend pulled out the jar of the scar gel, the willow bark tea, and the chamomile tea. He quickly set up Wild’s travel pot and got water brewing for the tea. 

“Thank you,” Wild whispered. 

Legend glanced at Wild with a smile. “Of course. We’ll rest here until you’re okay to move, then we’ll get to that stable. I’m sure the others will be fine.”

“Yeah,” Wild said. 

“I’ve got water going for willow bark and chamomile tea. Does that sound okay?” Legend asked. 

“Yeah.”

“I got the scar gel out, too,” Legend said, with a glance in Wild’s direction. Wild’s eyes moved under his tightly shut eyelids, but he didn’t otherwise react. 

“If you want, I could help you apply it,” Legend suggested hesitantly. He didn’t want to seem overbearing. 

“If you don’t mind, that would be great,” Wild said. His voice was still strained, and it made Legend’s heart clench. 

“No problem. Let me get the tea going first,” Legend said. 

~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~

It was nearly 24 hours until Wild felt alright enough to travel. It wasn’t the shortest Wild’s flares have ever been, but it was also by far not the longest. Legend was thankful it was on the shorter side since they were in the wilderness without backup. 

Getting to the stable was slow going. Wild still moved stiffly and slowly, but he could move. Legend would take what he could get. 

Legend has Wild’s good arm slung around his shoulder and was trying to take as much of Wild’s weight as possible. Wild, in his usual self-sacrificing manner, was trying to put as little of his weight on Legend as possible. Legend smacked him lightly on the arm whenever he thought Wild wasn’t leaning on him enough. 

By the time the stable was in view, Wild’s eyelids were drooping and his steps were becoming more and more uneven. Wind and Twilight were sitting outside the table at the cooking pot. Wind glanced up, then nudged Twilight and they both ran towards Legend and Wild. 

“What happened?” Twilight asked as soon as he was within earshot. He quickly took Wild’s arm from Legend and began guiding him towards the stable.

“Careful,” Wild said. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t look very fine,” Wind said. He was hovering anxiously beside Wild. 

“Pain flare up,” Legend explained. Twilight scowled. 

“I’ll be fine,” Wild said. 

“You will be. We’ll get you feeling better in no time,” Twilight said in a soft, comforting voice. 

“It seems to be getting better already,” Legend said. “We only had to stop for a day.”

Legend didn’t need to explain the details. The others have seen the effects.

“Come on, let’s see if we can rent the back room,” Wind said. He grabbed Legend’s hand and pulled him into the stable. 

“Are the others here?” Legend asked as he followed Wind. 

“Everyone’s accounted for! We’ve been taking shifts searching for you two,” Wind explained. Legend let out a quiet breath of relief, letting the stress flow out of him with the exhale. Wild was being taken care of and the others were all safe. He could relax.

“Good,” Legend said. 

Legend felt the exhaustion of the past two days hit him all at once. He let Wind take the lead on renting the room, then made sure to help Wild settle in the room. Wild was asleep as soon as he was on the bed. 

“Why don’t you get some rest, too, Vet,” Twilight said with a gentle hand on Legend’s back. 

Legend nodded his agreement. The room had two beds, but the thought of being too far from Wild right now was making him anxious. Twilight caught on and patted the bed next to Wild.

“He doesn’t take up much space. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind,” Twilight said quietly. 

Legend very, very carefully lowered himself onto the bed and slipped underneath the covers. He could feel Wild’s labored breathing through the mattress, and he let it lull him into a light sleep.

[dotieeee]

The Dream That Got Away

Chapter 4

Pairing: Dark!Morpheus x You (no Y/N!)

This is a multi-chapter fic — Weekly updates (either Saturday or Sunday) because I found a rhythm of sorts lol

(The entire fic has been outlined, so I will see this to the end, you have my word)

*******************************************************************************************

Link to the Masterlist

Overall Warnings!! Take heed:

Morpheus is DARK – in canon, he changes for the better (or at least, tries to – but we don’t do canon lol, so he goes even more batshit crazy) cue obsession, manipulation, possessiveness, powerplay

18+ ONLY – explicit scenes will be present, some explicit language

DUB-CON and NON-CON scenes

Character death (sort of)

Creator vs Creation drama

And other dark stuff that may be added in the future

This chapter’s warnings:

Some mentions of violence

Mild voyeurism

You have been warned!! Proceed with caution!!!

Link to the previous chapter

Chapter 4: Scarlet Sage

A whimper escapes the back of your throat as you place your palms on his chest in an attempt to push him away – but you might as well have pushed against a brick wall. Seemingly aroused by the sound you made, he sucks on your lower lip and angles your head for better access. He starts leaving open-mouthed kisses on your jawline, leaving you winded and your lips raw red.

“Please, my Lord…” you beg with a quivering voice.

The moment you start feeling his hot breath on your neck, one of the library doors opens with a soft creaking sound followed by muffled footsteps. The Dream King stills at the intrusion with a small growl – using this momentary distraction, you break away from his grip and make a wild run for it.

You might’ve heard him chuckle under his breath, but you’re not quite sure. At that point, you didn’t care – you don’t dare look back as you dash madly out of the library, and eventually out of the palace grounds. You put as much distance between your king and yourself, paying no mind where you were going or how fast you were going. You run until you reach the foot of the bridge connecting the palace and town plaza, clutching a stitch on your side, and panting heavily for air. Hanging on to the bridge railing for support, you allow your breathing to slightly even out before breaking into a sprint once more, narrowly avoiding collision with a man pushing a cart of what looked like tiny red flowers on stalks.

You reach the forest, noisily rushing past the floor of dead leaves as you flee, tripping occasionally on protruding tree roots. You get a little paranoid; you slow your pace a little and peek behind you because you thought you heard rustling – assuming that your mind must’ve been playing tricks on you, you resume your trot – 

Only to slide into a shallow, well-hidden ravine with a loud yelp that echoes throughout the woods.

Fortunately, you land on a pile of dried leaves, so it doesn’t take you long to gather your bearings and finally let the adrenaline wear off. You let out a few mild coughs before greedily gulping in the air of the forest, and, plopping down on its floor, you lean on the thick, exposed tree root behind you. At that point, it finally dawns on you exactly what made you run away in the first place.

Your creator and master, Dream of the Endless, had just maybe confessed the nature of his intentions towards you.

“Shit. Shit. Shit!” You mutter to yourself out loud, burying your face in your palms.

Without your control, the incident in the library flashes in your mind; the way he cornered you and pressed against you; the way his breath fanned your face, and the way his lips insistently roamed yours and demanded access –

Mentally, you shake the feeling of him off you. How many teenage girls’ dreams have you seen involved such romantic trysts with their childhood crushes among the hidden confines of bookshelves, stifled giggling, and hushed voices? You certainly remember how the dreams felt: they were sweet and, at times, awkward; but also, thrilling and full of innocence. Your first kiss with the Dream Lord, however, felt almost too heavy and too sensual – it felt wrong.

And then there’s that other matter: you, a mere dream, had just maybe rejected his advances.

You gather your knees to your chest and buried your face in them, groaning in frustration. You have never gotten on the Dream Lord’s wrathful side – Candor herself has stated that he was somehow more lenient, daresay more affectionate towards you. Certainly, you’d fall in more favour in his eyes should you submit to him. But, as hard as it is to admit, he is your creator and King – and thus you see him only as a monarch, a figure of authority. You are loyal to him, that has been proven, but crossing that boundary was something else.

Now, you’re sure your refusal of him had deeply disappointed him, even enraged him – but was that enough to warrant an unmaking? Would he summon you, or search for you himself, and sentence you back to the dust from which he formed you? Just what have you dug yourself into?

   The gravity of your actions starts to hit you: you might’ve just doomed yourself to roaming the kingdom – his kingdom – a fugitive, forever in fear of his shadow, a subject of his ire.

Just then, a shuffle of dried leaves startles you. You leap to your feet and start backing away. Has he finally come to find you and punish you for spurning him?

“Who’s there?” You summon the courage to speak, your voice high-pitched and shaking.

Out from the distance, you hear a wild hacking noise – like someone was getting dirt out of their throat. You approach the sound a little more confidently now that you’re sure it isn’t the Dream Lord. True enough, you walk into the sight of Abel, sitting up half-buried in freshly dug earth; he really was trying to get the dirt out of his throat. Rushing to his side, you help him get to his feet and brush the damp soil off his hair.

“Thank you, Mera. My brother sure did a number on this grave – it took me a while to dig my way out of it,” Abel says cheerily.

Chuckling lightly, you pick up the earthworm that managed to crawl into his jacket pocket. “Hello to you too, Abel.”

There only have been a handful of times you’ve seen Abel rise from his grave, but the first time sure gave you quite the shock. Such is the fate of the first brothers: one forced to kill, the other forced to resurrect in a never-ending cycle of bloody murder that went on since the dawn of mankind. One could call it a ‘twisted’ form of brotherly love. Will you suffer the same fate, you wonder, under the hands of your creator? Will you also be forever cursed to roam the realm, being unmade and remade at the whim of a jilted monarch?

“Mera? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Abel waves his hand in front of you to get your attention. “Well, granted you have seen a corpse, or at least one’s that’s recently been…are you alright?”

Giving him a weary smile, you respond, “You know what, Abel, I don’t think I am.”

Immediately, Abel’s jovial expression turns to one of concern. “Oh, dear. Is that why you’ve come all the way here? To be honest, I do find it peculiar why you’re here, of all places.”

Trying to lighten his sullen mood, you joke, “To be fair, this isn’t where Cain usually buries you.”

Letting out a dry chortle, he relents. “Yeah, he really wanted me to have a hard time.” His face suddenly lights up and offers, “If you’d like, we can talk about whatever’s bothering you on the way to my house. And we can finally have tea! Your last visit was cut short, after all.”

“Yes, I’d like that very much.”

“Wonderful!” He exclaims, rummaging on the back of his jacket for something you can’t see. “Aw, rats. I told Cain to be careful with this coat; he knows this is my favourite…”

***

You tread along Abel at a leisurely pace through the thick of the woods. You listen to him rant about how his older brother always manages to ruin this specific jacket every time he kills him, pointing at this back where a large tear is, in the middle of a huge splotch of blood. This somehow comforts you, listening to someone else’s troubles for once. It’s a humbling experience, knowing that the Dreaming Realm, its residents, and its dreamers would continue their lives just fine even if your master decides to uncreate you. It’s a bizarre feeling, but you relish it, nonetheless. So, when he asks you to tell him what was bothering you, your head is a lot clearer, your mood calmer – so you conveniently leave out the other details of that event in the library, only revealing to him that the Dream Lord ‘caught you by surprise’ and that ‘pushed him away in your haste.’

At your careful wording, Abel’s eyes widen and his jaw drops to the floor, indicating he understood what you meant.

“You mean, he’s just told you?”

Eyeing him questioningly, you ask, “What do you mean ‘just?’”

He meets your cautious gaze with an apologetic expression. “I mean, come on, Mera. It always has been painfully obvious to everyone in the Dreaming how he’s had eyes on you from the beginning.”

“‘From the beginning?’ How come no one bothered to tell me, then?” you mutter sourly. “How come it seems like everyone knows something except me?”

“Honestly, Mera, no one wants to interfere with his…affairs. I thought you already knew, given that he’s always around you and all. Anyway, I wouldn’t worry if I were you. I’ve seen him around you. With you, he’s a lot…nicer. I don’t know how else to put it. With anyone else…oh boy,” he lets out a dry chuckle, before continuing. “The gloom emanating from him – hard to imagine how he’s related to Death, she’s always so sweet.”

“I’ve heard that before,” you mutter darkly, but Abel doesn’t seem to hear.

“Oh, look! We’re nearly there! There’s that old path leading to the house.” He points to a narrow, beaten path, and sure enough, you can see how it led to a thinner set of woods with much more clearing, indicating that you were almost about to exit the forest. “You’re still coming over for tea, right? I can bake us some gingersnaps. You know, Cain once clobbered me on the head with a cast iron pan for making them too sweet…”

Glad for a change of topic, you follow Abel to the path, listening to him recall the cookie recipe, absently noting how he’s forgotten to add salt, of all things, to his mental list. Right now, you needed a strategy: the Dream Lord might’ve taken you off work temporarily, but it doesn’t mean you can’t pop by the sea of dreams unnoticed. Figuring it was the only way you could avoid him, you resolve to stay away as much as you can and for as long as you can from the palace grounds, at least until your master’s interest has waned – you silently offer a prayer to the Fates that it does soon.

Good luck with that, the Voice mutters darkly. 

***

Dream of the Endless immediately feels the loss of your warmth the moment you wriggle away from his embrace. Chuckling darkly to himself, his heated gaze follows you as you scurry your way out of the library, leaving him to deal with a rather painful arousal that’s begging to be relieved. He regains control of himself before sauntering over to the table where your scribbled notes were, lazily running his fingers over the papers in deep thought. Would he have taken you right there, on the table, had you not resisted? He would’ve, he admits to himself, but he’s also aware it’s hardly the proper place – he wants your first time with him to be burned into your memory; thus, he would have to make it special and in the privacy of his own chambers. Besides, even that kiss you briefly shared with him seems to have proven too much of a confession for you. He couldn’t deny that he’s thrilled by the chase you’re giving, but he could drive you further away should he increase his pace. He would have to keep his distance, for now, taking satisfaction from the fact that he’d eventually win you as his prize in this game he could play for eternity.

Quietly, he approaches his librarian’s desk. He had other matters in the Realm to take care of before he can contemplate his next move on you.

“Lucienne.”

The royal librarian in question nearly jumps from her seat at his call. His tone might’ve come out a bit more biting than usual – he is, after all, still displeased with her interruption, however unaware she was of it.

Still clutching her chest at his sudden presence, she asks, “Yes, my lord?”

“I have other nightmares to apprehend and a matter to investigate. In the meantime, I have a task for you.”

***

It’s been days since you last been in the palace. You’ve been resting minimally since in the lush lands of Fiddler’s Green, and while it sucked to be essentially homeless and on the run, you’re grateful that you have not seen a single hair of your creator since the library incident. Not even in the dreams you have visited so far did you feel his presence. Still, even your reprieve could not take your mind off the notes you’ve left on the desk; those were notes which could immensely help with your work, now that you’re spending more time than usual in the dreams of the humans.

So, it’s in this uneventful night that you decide to sneak into the library and retrieve the papers, wishing your luck in the last few days extends to this little trip. You tiptoe noiselessly through the vast halls, your eyes scanning every nook and cranny with wary eyes. Finally, you reach the tall doors that lead to your target room. You press an ear on one of them to check for signs of anyone inside, and when you heard nothing, you gingerly push it open, whizzing past the bookshelves to reach the desk.

Finally, you reach the desk where the papers lay, stacked neatly on its corner with a paperweight on top. Lucienne must’ve tidied them up for you. Making a mental note to thank her later, you make a quick grab for them and move to head out.

When you reach D wing, however, you pause at the sound of a pen scribbling on paper. You crouch down, hiding under the nearest desk, straining for any sound that might give you a clue as to who it is. To your horror, Jessamy, the Dream Lord’s raven, lands squarely in front of you, her beady eyes staring at you with curiosity.

Panicking, you gesture to her to keep it down please, but in an act of treachery (or loyalty), she lets out a loud ‘caw,’ alerting whoever is with her of your whereabouts. Cursing under your breath at your rotten luck, your heartbeat thrums in your ears as you wait for the inevitable –

“Hello? Who’s there?”

It’s Lucienne! Fortune must’ve favoured you at the last minute. You crawl out of your hiding place to greet her, beyond relieved that it was her you’re greeting instead of a certain Endless.

“Mera? Oh dear, what are you doing down there?” Lucienne rushes to your side to help you up, as Jessamy flies to perch on the top of one of the bookshelves.

“Hello Lucienne, sorry if I startled you,” Smiling apologetically, you gesture to the papers in your hand. “I just had to get them back…”

She flashes you an exasperated smile, before inviting you to sit with her on the desk she’s working on. “Where have you been for the last few days?” She questions, settling once more on her parchment, writing.

“Uh, I’ve been around. Is he here?”

“If you’re talking about Lord Morpheus, no he’s not,” she replies, raising her eyebrows at the way your shoulders relax. “And don’t think you can evade my question, Mera.”

At her stern gaze, you balk and respond, “I’ve been to the dreams and Fiddler’s Green –”

“Mera, you know very well that Lord Morpheus has told you –”

“Stay here and recover, yes, but I’ve been so bored, Lucienne,” you say with a pleading look. You don’t tell her the other reason why; you figure she doesn’t need to know.

“I understand you’re eager to get back to helping your dreamers, Mera,” she says with a sympathetic expression. “But you know how he can be if his word is disobeyed.”

You offer no response to her comment. Flashes of him cornering you among the bookshelves replay in your head, and you mentally shudder.

“I’m under explicit orders from the Dream Lord to keep you in the palace.”

Mouth agape, you begin to protest but, one look from Lucienne silences you.

“He has ordered your own chamber to be made within the palace, where you are to rest from now on. I suggest you collect your belongings from the staff quarters and transfer them there. I can show you where it is.”

Resigned to your fate, you merely respond, “So I’m under house arrest.”

Lucienne’s sympathetic expression never leaves her face. “Don’t give me that look, Mera. I’m sure Lord Morpheus will be willing to let you go back to work once he has caught all the missing nightmares. There is one that currently keeps eluding him.”

You simply nod, even though you were dreading being in his immediate reach as soon as he returns. You have yet to meet with him since he stole your first kiss, and you’re still unsure what his true intentions are of you after you all but rejected him.

“There’s one more thing. Jessamy will watch over you from time to time.”

At that point, you let an aggravated groan, while Jessamy ruffles her feathers in seeming indignance.

***

The staff quarter wing is almost always empty, and the rooms were small and bare. Most of the dreams and nightmares recuperate elsewhere, and you can’t blame them for it – while the rooms were more than adequate for the rest your kind take, nothing could compare to the sprawling views that other places in the Dreaming can offer. Entering the room you’re assigned to, you’re followed by Jessamy, flying in low and settling on the bed’s headboard with a single, soft ‘caw.’

“I’m sorry about, you know, back in the library,” you say. “No hard feelings?”

As if accepting your apology, she caws again, this time a little louder.

Giving her a wan smile, you start scanning the room for anything you can bring with you. You don’t have many possessions, anyway – save a few clothes and a book to which you usually bind your notes, there isn’t much to collect. Together, you and Jessamy make your way back to the main hall, where Lucienne was waiting. Wordlessly, she beckons you to follow, and, climbing through the grand marble staircase where the suites are, she leads you to a floor high up in the palace – the floor which you recognize is where the Dream Lord’s chambers are located. Even as a wave of nausea hits you at this knowledge, you walk on, concentrating on the sound of Lucienne’s heels on marble and the flapping of Jessamy’s wings.

“This is where you are. Down that hall to your right. You’ll find everything you need in there, but Lord Morpheus also assigned you a lady-in-waiting should you want anything. She’ll be available tomorrow.”

“Wait, but I don’t need one…”

“Dream Lord’s orders, I’m afraid.”

You nod tiredly in acquiescence. “Thank you, Lucienne. I just wish I was back at work, you know.”

“You will be, soon,” she says in a reassuring tone. “For now, try indulging him. You gave him quite the scare after the demon attack, even if he didn’t show it outwardly. Good night, Mera.”

And with that, she marches off to the hall before going out of sight.

Sighing inwardly, you head off to the end of the hallway where you reach an ornate double door with brass handles. Pushing it open, you couldn’t help the gasp that comes out of you.

The room, after all, simply took your breath away.

The circular room is enormous and sparse of décor, save for the chaise lounge upholstered with rich velvet, and the towering four-poster bed at the center adorned in dark silken drapes. The room’s source of light, aside from the rich moonlight shining through the tall glass windows, are millions of glittering stars painted on the ceiling, forming constellations and galaxies, all twinkling and swirling as if they were plucked straight from the very blanket of the universe. To your left is a door, left ajar, leading to a balcony that you’re sure is overlooking one of the best views of the Realm the palace can offer.

And yet, as you sit on the edge of the chaise, with all the beauty surrounding you, you’re left with a staggering feeling of foreboding – deep down, your heart knows that all this grandeur comes with a price you know you can’t very well pay.

Jessamy lands on the railing at the foot of the bed, cawing, before flying off out to the balcony and vanishing into the night.

Emotionally exhausted and pointedly avoiding the massive bed, you curl up on the sofa and drift off to sweet oblivion.

*** 

Get up, sleepyhead.

Piss off, you bite back at the false saccharin tone of the Voice, now widely awake on the bed you didn’t fall asleep on last night. Throwing off the silk blanket, you leap to your feet and out of the bed, dizzying yourself in the process. A soft ‘caw’ alerted you to the presence of Jessamy perched on the chaise lounge, except there is something else draped over the couch.

You tentatively approach the thing like it was a bomb about to go off. Upon closer inspection, you make it out as a silk ruby-red dress, and on it a note:

To my little dream

You back away, hyperventilating, the bed breaking your fall. Who else would leave a dress of that colour and call you ‘their’ little dream?

A knock on the door makes your heart skip a beat.

“Who’s there?” You call out, dreading the response.

From the other side, a tiny voice squeaks, “M’lady? Are you awake? May I come in?”

Still breathless from the rush, you call out ‘yes,’ after which the door creaks open, and in comes a wispy-looking young woman carrying what looks like a bunch of towels.

“I’m Morwyn, m’lady, and I was assigned to you. You can call me for whatever you need from now on.” She gives you a shy, toothy smile which you return with your own.

“What’s with that?”

“With what, m'lady?” She questions curiously.

“The title. You can…well, my name is Mera – I’m just like you, you know…” You trail off, giving her a teasing smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Oh, but I can’t! The Dream Lord would never allow it, m'lady.”

“Screw what he thinks,” you mutter under your breath. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to hear it.

“Well, I came to draw you a bath, m'lady,” she says, walking over to the chaise where the dress is. “Is this what you’ll be wearing? It’s a lovely choice.”

“What? No. I can’t wear that,” you remark.

“But,” she starts, her face scrunching in confused panic. “It’s a gift! It will be rude not to…not that I’m implying anything –”

“Relax, Morwyn, please.” Giggling, you reassure her that you’ll wear it, but only to appease her. She visibly eases her tense posture before excusing herself to the door on the corner leading to the bathroom.

It’s going to be a long day, you think to yourself.

***

The dress was only the first of a string of gifts you’d be waking up to for the following days. They always came with the same note, the same piece of paper that seemed to hand down your sentence in the most subtle of ways. You wanted to ignore them, but under Jessamy’s watchful eyes, doing so would only earn the gift giver’s displeasure. So, whatever you find lying on the chaise lounge in the morning, you grit your teeth and wear them, even if they make you feel like branded cattle. You never had a taste for material objects, and you’re sure that’s not about to change, no matter how fancy the gift is.

What he couldn’t control, however, were your illicit visits to your dreamers. You’ve been sneaking in and out whenever you can just so you could alleviate the boredom; you know very well you couldn’t sit idly around the palace all day, waiting for an Endless that may or may not come. And you’ve been productive, too, even with lesser time on your hands. You know Lucienne was aware of it, judging by the way her eyebrow would be raised when you come into her view from one of the bookshelves, you’d just shrug it off and smile innocently as she shakes her head and rolls her eyes in exasperation.

After one of your little trips, you decide to take a stroll to the town square. Jessamy or not, at the very least, you had the right to enjoy the wonders of the realm that you love so dearly. For once, it felt like you were back to being the normal dream you always were. You get a bag of chocolate-filled croissants from the corner bakery before your eyes land on the flower shop – and the baskets upon baskets of pretty little red flowers on long stalks you’ve seen growing in the lush gardens in the palace. Oddly enough, that was the only flower they have on display.

Curiously trotting over to the shop, you peer inside to check if they have any other flowers, thinking you might just get some for your room to liven it up a bit during the day.

The florist greets you jovially with a tip of his hat, saying, “Good day, lovely miss! What can I get ya?”

You give him a bright smile in greeting before asking, “Hello, my good sir. Do you happen to have any other kinds of flowers at the back? Something I could use to…brighten the mood in my room a little.”

He shakes his head sadly. “So sorry, miss, but these flowers are all that grow in the kingdom lately, although a few gardeners in the kingdom are cultivating other variants. Harvest comes in a few weeks. I could save some for ya, then.”

“That’d be wonderful. Thank you!”

You walk out of the store, perplexed. How could the kingdom run out of other flowers, and the realm of an Endless, no less?

***

The Endless in question is somewhere deep in his own kingdom, in the lands long forgotten and abandoned by his subjects and his dreamers. He had received intelligence of unaccounted-for beings lurking in these barren terrains which didn’t sit well with him – the last time he had creatures of unknown origins enter his realm without his knowledge, he almost lost the Dreaming, his rule almost overthrown. If these rumors proved true, it was his duty as the monarch to drive them out before they become an unstoppable threat.

That doesn’t mean he couldn’t watch over you through the eyes of his loyal raven.

With the very little free time he had in his hands, he had been closely shadowing you with the help of Jessamy, making sure you were kept from harm's way in his absence. He had been diligent in his quest to draw you closer to him. He was quite proud of the palace chambers he constructed; the way he saw your face light up at the sight of it gave him such a rush, he couldn’t help but go back to the palace and tuck you under the bed covers himself. It had taken all of his strength to pull away from you, but he had to be content with a single chaste peck on your lips, and a soft caress of his fingers on your cheek. Perhaps it was the kiss that had inspired him; for with a stroke of genius, he conjured a dress he had fantasized you wearing, leaving a little note he was sure you’d find. He made sure the dress matched the ruby you wore on your head – his insignia, his mark – he was quite proud of himself with his handiwork, for it was only you in his kingdom, save himself, that sported the jewel: a silent declaration that there was no one else you belonged to. He’d do anything to see your eyes light up like that again, and so with those little gifts he started leaving in your room, he chased that high – only to be a tad disappointed that you seemed to find them wanting. No matter: he has more than enough time to uncover your heart’s desires once he returns.

Channeling Jessamy’s vision, he scans the surroundings for you – you were in the town square, strolling, wearing the jewel-crusted auburn robe he had left for you that morning. You were wrapped in it so elegantly, exposing the delicate skin on your neck and collar bones. He couldn’t help but grin, recalling how he was so close to marking that soft flesh with his lips, had he not been interrupted that day in the library. 

If there was one thing he has learned about you so far, it was that little defiant streak in you, manifested by those surreptitious little visits you made to your choice of dreamers. Although these trips had him worried for your wellbeing, he had to admit that this previously undiscovered part of you he found rather enticing. Only time will tell what other facets of you he can bare – and he has an eternity of it.

Breaking off the connection with his familiar and acting on impulse, he transports himself stealthily back to the palace, deciding to leave one more gift before he continues his journey.

***

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen those flowers in abundance, but its name had escaped you, and you had always forgotten to look them up in the library. You’re beyond curious now, and although you had learned how this feeling seemed to always lead you to trouble, it couldn’t hurt, could it? It was no big deal, after all – just a harmless little flower.

The library is empty, you discover. Lucienne might have run on a quick errand, so you have the library all to yourself for now. You head to your favorite reading spot, intending to leave the bag of pastries on the coffee table.

Once you get there, however, the bag drops from your hand, and the once-quiet library begins echoing with ungodly screams coming from your head. Covering your ears in the stinging pain, your eyes try to scan the immediate area for what the Voice was screaming about.

There, laying innocently on the couch you loved is a bouquet of the very same flowers you had intended to research, wrapped in a neat ruby-red bow.

On the library floor, you wait on your fours for the screaming to stop, bewildered at its reaction to a seemingly innocent bunch of blooms. You get up, practically running, in frantic search of those flowers, anything that could help you pinpoint the meaning behind their appearance.

You find it in one of your dreamers' books: ‘A Florist’s Folio of Fabulous Florals’ by Ferdinand Fink. There, beside a pretty painting of the crimson bloom, read:

Scarlet sage

Scientific name: Salvia splendens

Symbolism: The red-blooming Salvia flower is traditionally associated with love and romance; “forever mine”

And like a red-hot coal, you drop the book, watching as its pages close shut before landing on the carpeted floor with a muffled thud.

******************************************************************************

Link to the next chapter

Author notes:

Thank you, THANK YOU for reading!!

Please engage, comment and reblog!! I love feedback from you guys :) This is my first ever fic, so kindness is truly appreciated!

Thank you to my queen @queenshelby @endlessdreamqueen3 for encouraging me to pen this, as well as to my fellow Dark!Morpheus writers whose work I have thoroughly enjoyed and keep rereading :)

Post date: 11/13/22

Edit date: 11/13/22

Taglist: Just lemme know please if you want to be added, too!

Tagging the following:

@wt-fxck

@sandman-33

@reallystressedhoneybee

@akiraquote

@safe-teycar - can’t tag :

@ponyboys-sunsets

@izzicle

@spygrrl99 - can’t tag :(

@intothesoul

@thecrazytealady

@tastyinspection8860

@kittensssss-blog - can’t tag :(

@trinittyy

@mxacegrey

@sarahbullet235

@tastyinspection8860

@blu3what - can’t tag :(

[nosleepjustlevi]

FanFiction Notice <3

Content: Sex education! Mentions of vaginas, penis’s, orgasms, the clitoris, warning of abuse in power dynamics, and sex education resources across a variety of platforms.

Just a few notes for the folks reading all the smutty fanfiction and especially those who don’t have much experience with “smut” in real life!

That’s totally okay! There’s no need to feel badly or embarrassed if you don’t have a lot of sexual experience, everyone moves at their own pace :)

Similarly, it’s okay if you haven’t experienced the kind of intimacy that’s portrayed in fanfiction (most of us haven’t, that’s why we write about it lol)

Consent is sexy! There are multiple ways to incorporate ‘dirty talk’ that includes asking for consent and checking in with your partner. “Does that feel good baby?” “Is it okay if I touch right here?” “Would you like it if I did x, y, z?” “You like it when I do that?” “Tell me what you want me to do, I want to make you feel good” etc etc etc!

A lot of fanfiction includes people with vagina’s cumming from penetration alone, while this is nice to think about of course, it rarely happens in real life. The large majority of people with vaginas cannot and will not come from dick penetration alone (around 80% of people with vaginas cannot do this). This is because of the nature of the shape of the penis and the shape of the vagina. While everyone’s genitals are unique, the overall shape means that a penis will likely not meet the angle required to hit your g-spot. Now, there is such a thing as extended orgasms (and you may experience this from dick penetration alone), but the big firework sudden rush of orgasm we usually think about probably won’t happen from just a penis inside you. And that’s normal! Don’t feel like you’re missing out!

It is much more likely to cum from finger penetration. This is because of the way fingers can curve to reach the g-spot. Also, clitoral stimulation is often key to an orgasm.

Some fanfiction references the penis hitting the cervix, in real life this is actually usually quite painful (at least in my experience and according to my gynecologist). If you have ever had sex and felt a sudden pang of pain from a thrust, it is likely because the penis has hit your cervix. The cervix and g-spot are not the same. Repeated hitting against the cervix may actually give you a stomach ache after sex.

Sex is awkward sometimes! That’s okay! It can take time to learn what your partner enjoys and also especially learn what you enjoy. If you feel comfortable, it is a good idea and it is fun to experiment with yourself on your own to discover what you like and don’t like.

Cumming inside is nice an all, but condoms are also cool :) They make for easy clean up and significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy and STDs!

In fanfiction, there is often this theme of partners being able to just kind of read each others minds and provide the other with mind blowing sex and orgasm without even needing to communicate about it. This may be true if you have had sex with a partner many times, but the journey to this level of intimacy is communication and may be awkward sometimes, that’s normal!

Power dynamics portrayed in fanfiction may not be appropriate in real life. If a superior is eliciting sexual acts from you it may very well be abuse and you should notify a trusted adult.

Some educational resources I suggest to understand and learn about sexual intimacy and figure out how you can receive pleasure, give pleasure, and overall where you stand within this nuanced world of sexuality, pleasure, and orgasms: the book Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, the Netflix educational documentary series Sex, Explained narrated by Janelle Monae, @itsmillyevans on Instagram (highly highly recommend her!!), and plannedparenthood.org has a ton of educational resources (they do not just cater towards abortion, they are a great sexual health resource)

Sex Education Matters!

Spread the word folks!

[stardustandash]

Just finished up the next fic for Febuwhump!! This time we have "Help them" with The Bad Batch for @foolinapril! This one turned into a sort of speculation fic based on the trailer lol. I hope you enjoy!

Words: 1,731

Tags: Season 3 speculation, non-graphic descriptions of injury, self-sacrifice, whump

ao3 link

Plan 99: Omega's Version

They were not supposed to crash. Omega sat in the pilot’s chair looking at the smoking remains of the controls with despair. They were not supposed to crash, they were supposed to get far enough away they could send a comm to Hunter and the others and go home. Yet here they were; barely out of the system and downed on some random planet. Omega felt the tears prick at her eyes but she couldn’t let them fall. Tears were useless. They’d been useless on Kamino and doubly so in Hemlock’s facility. They were only a distraction for both herself and anyone around her.

“Kid, what the kriff are you still doing in here? We need to go!”

For all that Crosshair had said about Hunter in the past, he sounded remarkably like him when he was worried. Omega turned in her chair to see him climbing through the hatch into the cockpit. There were fresh bruises forming, and a new cut over his eye, but he seemed to have come through their rough landing okay. Omega slid out of the chair, taking care to avoid the transparisteel shards littered around the cockpit. She shuffled towards Crosshair, but only made it a couple of steps before her leg wobbled and threatened to send her to the floor. She caught herself on an empty chair. There was no escaping Crosshair’s gaze however. His eyes narrowed as he glanced down. She looked down as well, and while thankfully her grey uniform was free of any gushing blood, it did nothing to hide the fact that her foot was not at the angle it usually was. Instead, her toes were pointing further to the side than they usually did.

Omega’s medical knowledge was far from her mind as she looked down at it. Instead the only thout her mind could summon was, simply: “Ow.”

“Really?” said Crosshair in disbelief. “Fine. Come here.”

He crossed the cockpit and slid one of her arms over his shoulders. Omega couldn’t help but wish he would pick her up like Wrecker or Hunter would, but he was too weak for that after all his time in Tantiss. To her surprise it wasn’t as awkward of an angle on her shoulder as she anticipated. She’d grown since the last time one of her brothers had helped her this way. She had been gone long enough to grow a few inches. Omega tried not to dwell on that thought as Crosshair helped her maneuver through the wreckage and out onto a small rocky hill. As soon as they were outside and far enough from the wreck Crosshair unlatched Omega and sat her down on a rock.

“Stay here, I’m going to scout around a little,” said Crosshair.

“We should go together,” Omega protested. “What if there are predators out there? Or Stormtroopers?”

“Unless you have a blaster or a knife hidden on you, you’d be useless if something did show up.”

“You don’t have anything on you either!”

“But I can run,” said Crosshair in a tone that brokered no argument then glanced down at her broken ankle. “You made sure you couldn’t.”

Omega felt very much like pointing out that he probably couldn’t run far. Neither of them could, even if her ankle wasn’t dislocated. Months, maybe even longer, of being held captive had rid both of them of their hard-earned muscle. She doubted she could even draw her bow if she had it. But she bit her tongue and held back any comments as Crosshair made his way down the hill and set off cautiously around it to see the other side. Omega watched him for a moment, then feeling suddenly very uncomfortable with the thought of him being out of her sight, slid herself down after him. Rocks bit into her hands and legs, but she managed to make it to the bottom without knocking her injured foot.

“Wait!” she called after Crosshair. “Wait, don’t just leave me up there.”

Crosshair scowled at her, but nonetheless came over and helped her back up.

“Thank you.”

“We should find shelter,” said Crosshair, changing the subject.

“And food. Hopefully something is edible here.”

“There were probably rations in the shuttle, but if you insist on coming with me anyways we are better off getting far away from it.”

“You think they’re tracking it?” asked Omega.

Crosshair rolled his eyes and didn’t bother answering her. Right. It should’ve been obvious that stealing a shuttle from an Imperial facility meant that the Empire could track it. That was probably why they were shot down in the first place.

They limped across the rocky ground. They passed high grasses and small stone outcroppings and shallow caves, but Omega couldn’t see anything that looked like civilization. She hoped there was someone out there, and preferably not part of the Empire. They hadn’t traveled far when Omega felt herself begin to flag. Her ankle and foot were starting to throb in time with her heartbeat even with Crosshair half-carrying her. Her head was starting to spin too, and she could feel herself getting shakier. Shock, her mind supplied. She was going into shock. The smart thing to do would be to curl themselves into one of the little caves and try and make a fire or find something to keep the two of them warm, but Omega wanted to go just a little father. Every step was a step further away from the same grey durasteel walls that had had held her for who knows how long.

Omega lost time. Every hopping step felt the same and yet harder than the step before. They passed countless nondescript fields and rocks and yet nothing else popped out to see them. Then she blinked and instead of looking at rocky grassland in all directions she could see trees ahead. Funny looking ones, sure, but also reassuring. They were enough to hide her and Crosshair. She went to poke Crosshair on the shoulder but her hands were shaky and her fingers felt icy cold. That wasn’t good. That wasn’t good at all. She was just about to open her mouth and admit that she wasn’t doing as well as she wanted to pretend when she heard it.

It was a sound that had haunted her nightmares for months. In her dreams it was always right before the people she loved fell away from her into swirling mists and dark pits. The sound of a V wing fighter. The Empire had found them. She couldn’t see them yet, which was good. It gave them time.

“Karking hell! Come on, hop faster,” Crosshair hissed as he started dragging her along.

“Crosshair, wait! Wait. I can’t go that fast.”

“Then I’ll carry you.”

“Then neither of us will escape,” said Omega.

Crosshair would only be able to get away from the Empire if she stayed behind. He wasn’t strong enough to carry her and run for the trees. Suddenly she understood Tech and his sacrifice. A cold clarity sunk into her bones. Maybe it was the shock, maybe it was something else, but she took a deep breath and felt nothing but calm.

“Plan Ninety-Nine,” Omega whispered.

“What?” asked Crosshair. His head snapped around to stare at her with the same sharp gaze her brothers got whenever they were worried.

“Plan Ninety-Nine. They’re really after me, we both know this. You go. Hide. And then they’ll take me and forget about you. You can go back to the shuttle or keep going and contact Hunter and the others.”

“No. We escaped that place together and we will face the consequences together. I’m not Hunter, I won’t leave my own behind.”

Something warmed in Omega’s heart to hear Crosshair say those words. He’d never before admitted that she was one of them, that he thought of her as family too. Too bad she wouldn’t get to revel in the feeling, or be able to rib him about it later.

“You have to,” said Omega.

“Please,” Crossahair said, though his eyes already held a hollow acceptance.

“Find Hunter and the others, help them. Get me and everyone else out, it’s the only way all the clones end up free.”

“Try not to get into too much trouble while you’re waiting for us,” Crosshair said trying for his old attitude and failing miserably.

They didn’t say goodbye. Omega just nodded at Crosshair and he turned and ran for the trees. She didn’t watch him go, either. There was no time. Instead, she hobbled as best she could, trying not to think about the numbing bolts of pain that shot up her leg with every step. She had to get as far away from Crosshair as she could.

Overhead the V wings soared low, streaking past Omega before banking hard. They had seen her. It didn’t matter, she had to try and keep moving and lead them as far away as she could. The V wings followed her slow progress for a few minutes before she heard another ship. She looked up to see a transport coming in for landing. The ramp hissed as it lowered to the ground and out poured the clone commandos Hemlock was so fond of. They jogged towards her; not like she was about to take off sprinting. In fact, she was almost glad when they caught her and took a hold of her arms to keep her in place and put binders around her wrists. It gave her an opportunity to take some of the weight off her injured leg. They were rough with her, dragging her to the ship regardless of when her ankle finally gave out and she was pulled along the ground then thrown over an armoured shoulder.

Dread settled into her stomach as the door raised behind her. She was going back, and this time there would be no Crosshair to whisper to in the dark, no friendly face where she could let her guard down and not have to pretend for a few precious minutes. Yet still she could not help but be relieved. Crosshair was free. If the ship was taking off with just her, it meant he was still out there, that the Empire had given up on him. That was worth the pain and the fear, she thought. But hopefully he and the others wouldn’t keep her waiting too long.

Also @foolinapril if you give me your ao3 name i will gift this to you on there <3

[tkblythofficial]

Rant incoming because I finally found a place where I can do it without people throwing stones at me.

I'm not here to determine whether or not there are feelings between T and Z mainly because I can't read minds, however I am psychologist and I have a good grasp on human behavior and I do think T provides Z something J doesn't.

I'm not saying J is a bad boyfriend at all, he seems quite lovely but I'm not at all comfortable with how old she was when they met.

R seems to get close to multiple people but correct me if I'm wrong she seems to be more attached to T than to most people I've seen her interact, especially men. That in and on itself doesn't mean anything but it's important to note.

Sure, it may very well be friendship, but whenever T would talk about her in interviews and would compliment her she'd get so awkward and bashful in a way it was cute but almost kind like she didn't know what to do with it. I'm not sure she's used to getting compliments, especially these days because the poor girl can't catch a break.

And yes, yes, we could argue (as I've seem some people do) that it was just for PR and for the movies and blablabla but I don't buy it.

And about J and Z... Not sure how you feel about it, but considering their age gap and some things I've noticed during the whole press release I'm just not sure it's going to last. It may last a few more years, but something about it just feels off to me and it doesn't scream: for the rest of their lives

God I love psychologists lol. I always get along great with them for some reason.

Anyways, I love your rant because I agree with you on everything.

Here’s my own rant lol:

One thing I notice is R always compliments people. It seems to be her love language. Words of reassurance and constantly touching to feel close to people. Especially with men. T would always compliment her whenever he could and she would always get giggly about it. I don’t know if she’s use to receiving compliments but she also met T during a very difficult time in her life. She had a lot of hate coming towards her, talked about wanting cosmetic surgery to change her looks, etc so him complimenting her probably meant the world to her.

And then he defended her publicly which I think made her appreciate him even more. Since then she liked multiple tweets about how he was the only one to defend her publicly and that made me sad for her. It was pretty much a sign that J needed to step up and do the same but he remained silent. She said J was there for her in private but it’s not the same thing as sitting your neck out for someone publicly.

I don’t buy the PR angle either. I’m sure they took it up a notch for the cameras but the constant touching and flirting is not PR.

To me, R and J aren’t going to last (I’m bias though hence the blog lol) but maybe a few more years and that’s it.

[jessmalia]

Do you ship scalia or is it just something that you don’t mind seeing?

I ship scalia in a vacuum. I think it's a sweet dynamic with a lot of potential. Shelley and Tyler do have a lot of chemistry, so I can see why the writers wanted to explore that pairing. They have a very similar awkwardness/cluelessness that feeds into each other well (I think the same can be said about stira, which is a ship I like in a similar way, actually even more because of the tricksters/kitsune angle in their dynamic, and I also think there's some sciles meta in there about how they both got girlfriends that are so similar to the other lol) and I'm happy with how they really utilised that during their scenes in 6B. I've only seen the season once, so I can't even recall what the scene was about, but I remember the scene that sold them the most to me as a couple was that Malia face palm one lol. Where Malia is trying to communicate something but they're both just totally clueless.

This one:

The problem is the circumstances of when this pairing was explored. The messy way stalia broke up, the unfair way Malia's feelings about st/ydia was completely disregarded. Granted, this makes a part of me go "Stiles unfairly dumped you and got with Lydia without asking how you'd feel about it? Fuck yeah you should get with his best friend! Give him a taste of his own medicine! Fair is fair!" but that's more about me being a Malia stan than having to do with any ships lol. When viewing the show as a whole, it's just impossible NOT to compare scalia and stalia, and when you do, scalia so obviously comes in short.

Like, every single argument I can come up with for scalia potentially working better is disproven by what stalia was in canon. Like, "oh maybe Scott could help her with her werecoyote struggles and do it better because as a werewolf he knows what it feels like" but we literally saw Stiles help Malia with that and he did it perfectly! After hammering in for 2 and a half seasons that Stiles is Malia's anchor I can't see anyone buying how Scott could just replace him in that aspect. Also "Scott is so good and anti violence that he could help Malia get over her kill first ask questions never coyote thing in a way Stiles can't because he's very similar to Malia in that regard" doesn't work for me either. We saw throughout their relationship that Stiles and Malia felt the best about their violent tendencies and trust issues with each other because the other one could understand. They could tell each other "You're still a good person" and the other could actually believe it for once. They opened up to each other and told the other aspects of their trauma that they never discussed with anyone else! "But when I came through it, I learned something else... Control is overrated." "I said, 'I wish you were all dead.'"

Then there's the scira of it all too! I'm not gonna go too much into it since I'm mainly a stalia stan lol, but the way Kira was pushed out of the show is honestly so horrible, and the fact that scira was so huge and how Tyler and Arden kept talking about how in love they were AND the fact that the writers said that they didn't actually break up and Scott was gonna wait for her... it's all very frustrating. Add the fact that Shelley is a white woman and Arden isn't and, yeah... it's all very bad.

Plus the way season 6 not only sucked in general, but also how the writing was really bad at actually selling st/ydia and scalia. I really like what @bericas said in the tags of this post: #like on a real level#i just don’t understand what they wrote it like this#like#why would you do this#6a outside of the narrative telling us stydia showed stalia and scydia like crazy#and it’s so weird#if you’re gonna lie to me at least do it well. If they really wanted to make the endgames make sense, they really needed more time to do it. You can’t just decide to completely change your character dynamics for the last season of the show. Don’t know what the writers were on during that decision. 

TLDR: I think they’re a nice ship in theory but they just don’t work in canon. 

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Ballad

So happy I can skip all the Rachel and Schue scenes omg

Look at this boy, so besotted. I don’t really mind that Kurt had a crush on Finn, but I feel like it could’ve been handled better? They sometimes really played into the ‘predatory gay’ stereotype which was just... oof.

Add to list of things we know about Matt Rutherford: He once had a spider in his ear 

End of list.

Also, how is it we got 2 songs from Schue but we didn’t get to see any of the other ballads? I’m so curious about the Artie and Quinn duet omg.

I kinda love Kurt’s sweater here lol.

I like that when Finn lashes out, Kurt calls him out like. Can you not.

But then it’s the whole ‘girls are your problem’ thing and... oof. Though that wasn’t v subtle? Finn later says he knows about the crush so even here he could make it clear like ‘hey, don’t like you that way, etc’. Bc for all these eps Finn just gets awkward and avoids the topic until it all boils over in Theatricality.

Kurt is v intense in this ep, but if Finn called him out on it here, maybe he would stop?

But also I appreciate that this is a very real crush for Kurt (idk if he truly loved Finn, more just puppy love) but he falls more when they talk, bond over their parents, etc. Like, it’s not just him thinking Finn’s cute and it’s more than Finn being tho first guy to be nice to him.

And Kurt does see Finn’s discomfort, so he suggests their ballad be to his unborn daughter rather than between them. So he has some awareness.

Lowkey, a lot of the Finn/Kurt bonding scenes are before the wedding... bc after that I can’t think of any real convo they have with each other. Maybe after Finn proposes?

And also yay Kurt plays piano but lol Chris doesn’t so the v careful camera angles...

Kay but the scene with Finn and Quinn arguing and she says ‘you’re wrong, I’m right, I’m smart, you’re dumb’ all I could think of was Matilda bc... literally the same line.

Ofc Kurt, lowkey a sneak, seizes chance to comfort Finn. Again, laying v thick with the ‘enough to make you want to give up girls altogether’ like oh babe. Oh honey.

And then Finn says ‘haha yeah...’ awkwardly like dude. You clearly know what’s going on, so say something. can even make it a joke like ‘ah, too bad I like them too much’ idk just. 

Maybe I just think every problem can be solved with communication. That’s just me.

Aw, Finn and Kurt’s first meeting... and then they bond over glee and football (for like, the month he was on the team. if that)

And then the skincare and I love when Kurt says ‘T-zone’ and Finn looks at his crotch like wtf. 

I think Kurt has a thing for guys who... aren’t the brightest. Finn, then Sam, then Blaine who took a million years to realize Kurt liked him. 

This is the second time Finn puts a helmet on Kurt lol.

I like how wholesome Kurt’s crush can be. He’s just happy to sit and talk to Finn.

Okay, so obviously Finn is being nice and that shouldn’t be immediately taken as hope, but I get Kurt’s POV.

First off, he’s young and teens are dumb (no offense teens). And after all the bullying, this is the first time there’s a guy who’s nice to him, who spends time with him, who he has stuff in common with him. Ofc Kurt is going to fall hard.

But Kurt does go a bit extra in trying to make things happen. And the whole anti-Quinn thing is pretty awks. Kurt can be v sneaky but also sometimes I’m just... wtf is his plan?

And again, could’ve been handled better if Finn called Kurt out on his crush and had a conversation. But then, Finn is a dumb teen boy. 

Kurt is too, despite his making fun of them...

I will never understand ironing socks, lol

I find it so sweet that Finn calls Kurt for help. The friendship is so great and would only improve after Kurt’s over his crush... but then we get no bro scenes. So rude.

But... the song. Who picked the freaking song?? Like, revealing the pregnancy without Quinn’s permission is already bad, but then the song is so cringe and the scene is so painful...

This is what happens when you have two dumb teen boys. Poor Quinn.

Yep, Kurt is sufficiently guilty. I guess when you have a dad like Burt, you forget that other parents can suck sometimes.

I do like it didn’t turn into even more drama, and Finn doesn’t blame Kurt etc. It was a mistake and they can move on.

And Kurt tries to confess... this poor boy. 

And Finn brushes it off. When he could say “Look, you’re a great friend...” Like, boy, that was your opening.

Then we get the song and I love when Mercedes leads Finn in she’s like ‘Open your eyes, I didn’t tell you to close your eyes’

And sweet as the song is... Finn prob would’ve been happier with the cake.

Classic Kurt doesn’t sing in the song. Lowkey, even when an ep is more kurt-centric, he still doesn’t get to sing? Maybe bc it’s the start and Chris wasn’t trained enough yet? (he didn’t consider himself a singer). Might be that bc we don’t really hear him in backing vocals of group songs as well.

Kurt is not one to be subtle about his crushes, damn. ALso, return of the single ladies hand at the end there lol

Next up: Even more devious!Kurt

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”