#don’t let the phone dying be a cop out
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stripedsunhat · 1 year ago
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It's almost Halloween so how bout a thought about cell phones and horror movies that's been rattling around my head like a dynamite studded tumbleweed for a while. I saw a post about a week ago about how cell phones should be used for otherworldly shenanigans in horror movies instead of just being 'that's inconvenient to my plot! *nerfs* it's dead/no service now!' While just nerfing cellphones is definitely the most boring option, I personally think that rather than creeping horror, cell phones work better as vehicles for creeping anxiety.
Let the movie start with our main character waking up and realizing their phone didn't charge. They only have like 30%. Something we've all done.
Let them plug it in so it can charge while they get ready. Let their cheep ass planned obsolescence walmart charger cable be shot. Let them riffle through their junk drawer while their coffee percolates. Let there be no spare cable. Let there be a bunch of post it notes behind their head saying things like Buy Milk and Get New Charger Cable and Call Mike (plumber) Back. (Let the milk one be the most visible. Let their milk be spoiled and let them ruin their latte.) Something we've all done.
Let them get on the subway, or bus, or whatever, pull out their phone, grimace at the charge and shove it back in their pocket. Let there be an outside shot of the subway rushing past. Let the next shot be only a stop or two later, showing them having pulled out their phone and browsing Instagram, or playing a matching game, or whatever. Let their phone tick down to 20%. Something we've all done.
Let them bum a charger for a few minutes from a friend. Let it tick back up from 15% to 21%. Let the little icon turn green again. Let the friend have to leave. Let them take the charger away with them.
Let the phone tick back down into the red again.
Let our main character get sent to somewhere. Let them be a little worried now. Not because anything's wrong yet but at the thought of spending 4 to 6 hours somewhere with no way to charge. Not because anything's wrong but because we're all so used to being connected all the time. We are always connected. So when we suddenly aren't– It's unsettling.
Unnatural.
Let them check their phone charge.
Let them check it again.
Let our main character get sent somewhere. Somewhere isolated. Not deep woods, not back woods, not creepy cabin. Just somewhere away. Somewhere alone.
Let them check their phone charge again.
Don't make it some mystical cell service dead zone. They get service.
Their phone is at 11%.
Let them get a text. From their friend. From their boyfriend. From their mother. From their boss from their roommate, from their ex, from their company IT guy. Let them text back can't talk now phone about to die
Let the 10% warning pop up just as things shift from vaguely unsettling to creepy.
To something is wrong.
It's a long ride. They're not scrolling through anything anymore.
Let them check their phone charge again.
Let them get where they're supposed to be for the day.
6%
Something is wrong.
Let them take a call from their boss. Let them consider not picking it up. Let them answer it. Let the call be pointless.
4%
Let them be alone. Let it be somewhere normal. Just a little bit out of the way. Let it be somewhere connected. In theory. Let them be alone. If their phone was charged they wouldn't even feel like they were.
Let them check their phone charge again.
Let there be no landline.
Let them raid a junk drawer. Let them find a charger. Let it be shot. (Let there be a note by the drawer. Get New Charger Cable.)
Let them check their phone charge again.
Don't just let their only lifeline die. Let the victim be the one to kill it.
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lisired · 1 year ago
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wish i never
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pairing: Jaehyun x (f) reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst, debatable morals, unprotected sex, brother’s worst enemy, forbidden love, mark’s dad is a cop for the sake of plot, mentions of drugs and drug-related death
summary: Your brother, Johnny, hates Jaehyun and has never told you why. Although you intend on leaving it alone, unforeseen events thrust you into a forbidden love affair with Jaehyun. In between hookups and stolen kisses, you have to bury your feelings for Jaehyun around your overprotective older brother.
word count: 27.2k (listen… i don’t know anymore okay)
a/n: this one lowkey kinda hit different for me cause i’ve had a forbidden love and it broke me. you can kinda tell by how long this is lol ya girl went all OUT. as always, feedback is appreciated!
“Absolutely not.”
“Dude, come on,” Mark whined. 
“Hell the fuck no,” Yuta barked firmly, crossing his arms. “The last time we gave you shrooms, you texted Johnny to ask him where your phone was.”
“And?”
“You texted him from your own phone,” Yuta deadpanned. 
You snickered. Your best friend and drugs were an infamously egregious combination. Mark Lee sober was already full of shit, but Mark Lee high on whatever substance he could get his hands on? Indescribably bad. You couldn’t think of a word to even explain it.
Mark gestured over to you. “But you gave her drugs.”
Yuta grimaced. “First of all, don’t say that too loud. Johnny will kill me. Second of all, she can actually handle her shit and what can I say? She's a loyal customer.”
You added, “Plus I’m not doing fucking shrooms. Yuta just deals me weed. If Johnny ever found out I was doing anything else, he would have a fit.”
Mark huffed something under his breath about how shrooms were the softest of soft drugs there were, not that it would’ve helped his case. 
Your lips curled into a grin as you joked, “Why don’t you just chug Jeno’s notorious punch and call it a night? That’s what I’m gonna do.” 
“I’ve actually got plans with a chick who’s been dying to chug my notorious punch. I’ll be back later. Save me a drink, dude,” Mark said, grinning from ear to ear at a text message on his screen. Probably from the aforementioned chick that was begging to blow him, or so he said. 
You pretended to wince, but gave him a high five in celebration. “Aye, aye, captain,” you chirped, saluting him. 
After Mark made a break for the stairs, you abandoned Yuta to make a beeline for the drink bar. There was no such thing as a party with some of your boys without drugs and alcohol. Your brother was an overprotective nuisance, but even he knew it was impossible to keep you away from your shots and the occasional marijuana.
Plus it would've been hypocritical as all hell, so he let it slide. Not that you wanted to press your luck with something harder. On some nights you were a little drunk and a little high, and it brought out the worst in you. You were certain all of Johnny's friends kept blackmail worthy videos of you doing the unspeakable and you were content with never knowing what all those fuckers had on you. The embarrassment would be enough to kill.
You clocked one girl dry-heaving in the corner on the way and it was all the discouragement required to make you reach for a can of beer instead. To your surprise, it seemed like somebody had a similar plan, their hand coincidentally dropping on the same one. 
"Oh, I'm sorry. You can have it…," you trailed, glancing up to make eye contact with nobody less than the devil incarnate.
Ricky looked surprised to see you, though you weren’t sure why. If Jeno was throwing a party, you were bound to be in attendance. “What up, baby? Long time no see.”
“Ricky, you lost the right to call me that the second I caught you with your pants to your ankles in a closet with what's-her-face.”
More importantly, you were frankly surprised to see him there. Your stupid ex was many things, none good, and his audacity? It was out of control. Part of you wanted to commend him, because it took guts to show his face around your side of town after you yanked his trousers down in front of everyone and their mother. 
And yet he took that retort in stride. “Baby, how many times do I have to tell you that I’m sorry? It was a mistake and I’ll never make it again.”
“You’re absolutely right,” you replied, bobbing your head in agreement. “You’re a sorry motherfucker and you’ll never make it again, because we’re done for good.”
But Ricky just couldn’t take the hint that you were so fucking over anything that had to do with him and crept closer, continuing darkly, “Don’t you know you’re nothing without me? Nothing!”
Having surrounded yourself with enough drunk and high people countless times, it was obvious that Ricky was under the influence, which made him extremely capricious. He looked a grand total of two seconds away from reaching out and seizing you by your arm. 
Your eyes darted across the room for anybody you knew, but it was difficult when dancing bodies obscured them from your field of view. Yuta had probably wandered to snag more drug deals, Mark was getting his dick wet, and Johnny and Taeyong were nowhere to be found. 
You were about to resign yourself to the fact that you were positively out of luck until you heard a deep baritone ask from beside you, “Do we have a problem over here?”
It took all of two seconds to recognize its owner. Jeong Jaehyun, sang the little chorus in your head. Your brother’s worst enemy. The beef seemed more than a little one-sided, but you didn’t ask questions. For whatever reason, the mere mention of Jaehyun’s name made your brother tense. 
It was clear that Ricky was sizing Jaehyun up and he snapped with potent venom, “Who the fuck are you?”
“The host’s cousin,” Jaehyun said, looking tall and foreboding, as if he was daring somebody to challenge him. “And you are?”
“The love of her life.”
You didn’t know how he could confidently lie like that, though you wouldn’t be surprised if he wholeheartedly believed it, which was downright terrifying. You learned the hard way that this boy was as self-centered as they came. 
Jaehyun took one look at you, and the glaringly obvious discomfort on your face, and replied, "Yeah, I don't think she wants to be around you. If I were you, I'd get the fuck out of here and never come back."
Ricky chuckled. "And if I don't?"
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "Fuck around and find out," was all he said. His lips were drawn into a line and his gaze was fixed to your ex's idiotic face with a lethal stare. Not to mention Jaehyun had a couple of inches on him, which made you resist a satisfied little grin.
Obviously, Ricky wanted to stay and claim you as his pretty property, but even the lack of inhibitions didn’t hinder his judgment at that moment. Like any wise person would, he made a beeline for the closest exit. It was common sense that Jeno and his associates were not to be fucked with. 
Your shoulders relaxed when Ricky was gone. If anything, he had gotten off easy. He was lucky that you had no clue where Johnny was. You were positive he would’ve knocked the sense out of him, if he had any, which was debatable. 
“Insufferable prick,” you grumbled under your breath. Then, you glanced up to Jaehyun, who, to your surprise, was already looking at you. “Thanks, Jaehyun. I don’t know what he would’ve done if you weren’t here.”
Jaehyun still looked a little pissed, but your words seemed to make him soften. “You don’t have to thank me for that. It’s basic human decency.”
“And some people don’t even have that,” you replied, intending for it to be a joke, but it came out a little more melancholy. 
If Jaehyun noticed, he said nothing about it.
Before he could even if he wanted to, something stitched your brows together and you mentioned, “Hey, I didn’t know Jeno was your cousin.”
“Me, neither.”
It took a second for that to settle in, but once you finally understood, amusement broke the confusion tensing your face and your lips parted in laughter. Jaehyun joined you. His bold-faced little white lie saved your ass, but ironically, that wasn’t what you were focused on. 
It was those deep, adorable dimples on both of his cheeks that somehow made him even more handsome. 
Instantly, something in you chided, Bitch, don’t check him out. He’s your brother’s worst enemy. You’re out of your goddamn mind if you think you’re getting laid tonight just because he’s playing nice.
“I should go,” you said after a minute, finally grabbing a beer. “Thanks again. I really appreciate it.”
You escaped before Jaehyun could tell you not to thank him. His eyes were fixed to your back, following you until you were obscured completely by partygoers. He knew you were Johnny’s sister, but damn, you were kinda cute. 
At least for now, Jaehyun wouldn’t play with fire. Johnny almost kicked his ass one time and he wasn’t exactly keen on getting his ass handed to him. 
You were half tempted to stop by Jeno’s room to check if any of the guys were passing a blunt around in there, but the last time your curiosity got the better of you, you accidentally walked in on Jeno shirtless with some half-naked girl. Not a sight you wanted to relive, so you kept downstairs. 
Your eyes scanned the living room for any familiar faces, but it was difficult to tell if anybody was there. There was a gigantic crowd dancing to Kiss Me Thru The Phone and you chuckled at a certain memory of Mark drunk-singing along to the lyrics. 
“There you are,” came a familiar voice beside you. Your gaze flitted to Johnny, whose face was stitched with concern. “Taeyong told me that he saw you with Jaehyun. You good?”
“I’m fine,” you hollered over the music. “Just heartbroken that Mark abandoned me to get laid.”
Any other time, Johnny would’ve laughed, but his lips were pressed into a solid line. “Have you had anything?”
You rolled your eyes and exhaled a breath. “Just the beer in my hand, Johnny.”
He studied your face, as if he was attempting to figure out whether or not you were telling the truth, but ultimately decided to believe you. “Listen, I just wanna look out for you. You’re my little sister. If anything were to happen to you...”
“Mom and Dad would kill you and dump your body in the woods for bears to find. Yes, I know,” you groaned exasperatedly, cutting him off. “I get it, Johnny. But I need you to get that I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“If you were a little girl, you wouldn’t be here and we wouldn’t give you weed.”
That comment wasn’t even worth a roll of your eyes. You took a sip of beer and ignored it. 
“Why were you around Jaehyun anyways?” Johnny asked. It was obviously the question he was itching to ask. Probably wanted to make sure Jaehyun wasn’t making any advances. 
The memory of your bastard ex getting uncomfortably close to you after reaching for a drink he clearly didn’t need, raising his voice at you in a way no woman should ever accept, made you shudder. “Ricky decided to try and win me back. If you can even call it that.”
Johnny immediately perked up in anger. “What?”
“Relax. Jaehyun already took care of him. That’s why he was there. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“I swear to god, I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch,” Johnny hissed, looking a total of five seconds away from giving someone a piece of his mind. 
“Ricky, or Jaehyun?”
“Does it matter?”
You shrugged. Your lips parted to ask why he hated Jaehyun in the first place, but you cut yourself off. There was a reason why you didn’t ask him months ago. Johnny might’ve been overprotective, but that was because he was your brother and he loved you. When he was ready, he would tell you. 
The night dragged on. This one was a little more boring than usual, but that could’ve been chalked up to you still being shaken up about your encounter with your ex. You almost considered what would’ve happened had Jaehyun not been around to intervene, but your mind dared not wander there. 
Part of you wanted to know where he was camping out at. Surely, he had to be around here somewhere, but you weren’t going to look. Especially not with Johnny on high alert. He was being extra careful, wanting to be there in case your ex was crazy enough to return.
You listed what you knew about Jeong Jaehyun. For one, he was fine as hell. That was undeniable. Secondly, he was lowkey, which was why you essentially knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was drop-dead gorgeous. 
Sure, he made an appearance at these parties every now and then, but most of the time he kept to a tight-knit circle of friends and if they weren’t there, there was no way in hell he was coming. Sometimes his roommates’ threw parties at their house, but he rarely went downstairs, preferring to linger in his room doing fuck knows what. 
You honestly couldn’t blame him. People sucked. Most of them, anyways. 
Only one day later, you were gripping an overlook, peering down at little critters splashing in the lake from the bridge above. For a long time, there was nobody there to join you other than your little nonhuman friends. You liked coming here every now and then to clear your head. It was your safe place, your happy place. 
The sky was cloudy but there was only a nine percent chance of rain this afternoon, thus you weren’t too worried. You needed to go somewhere. Home was too isolating, but everywhere else was too open. 
You could be happy here. There were no entitled assholes or overprotective brothers around to get on your nerves every five seconds. It was only you and the gifts of nature. 
And somebody else. 
“I thought that was you,” said somebody from your side. 
Imagine your shock when you turned and saw Jeong Jaehyun jogging towards you. In the fucking flesh. 
It was harder not to check him out this time. The man was practically drenched head to toe in sweat, his very exposed skin glistening with moisture. The shirt he was wearing hugged his chest and it was all you could do not to salivate. 
Rather than continue to rake your eyes up his frame, you asked playfully, “Are you stalking me, Jeong Jaehyun?”
Jaehyun’s eyes twinkled with mirth. God, how come you never noticed how pretty and brown they were? “Actually, I’m surprised. I was cutting through here instead of my usual jog route. The weather looked pretty bad.”
You snickered, crossing your arms. “You didn’t check the forecast before you left the house? It’s not gonna rain. Probably.”
Jaehyun furrowed a brow. “Probably?”
“That guy on the news is an infamous liar,” you grumbled under your breath. 
Jaehyun chuckled. He wiped the sweat from his forehead, coming closer to the railing where you were, but kept a safe distance between your bodies lest he made you uncomfortable. “I told you why I’m here. What about you?”
Your nose got an instant waft of Jaehyun’s scent and it was godly, which was shocking considering he was literally sweating everywhere. “Oh, you know. I come here from time to time to think, or to not think. Depending on what the situation calls for.”
“Really?”
You bobbed your head. “Yeah. Why?”
Jaehyun shook his head. “Nothing,” was what he said, but in reality, he was thinking about how he passed this bridge nearly every goddamn day and never knew if he took a detour, he’d potentially cross paths with a pretty little thing like you. 
You lifted a brow, but didn’t press. 
“Are you… okay?” Jaehyun reluctantly asked. 
You bobbed your head. “Yup, I’m alright. It’s just that Ricky approaching me has Johnny on edge, so now whenever I go out he and his friends are watching me like a bunch of hawks.” 
Jaehyun winced. “Damn. That must suck.”
“I get he’s doing it from a place of love, but fuck, sometimes I just wanna be left the hell alone, you know?”
Jaehyun nodded. God, did he know. And not only because he was an overwhelmingly introverted dude. “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.”
That caught your attention. “You do?”
Jaehyun scratched the back of his head. “I mean, I don’t have an overprotective brother, but I do have an overprotective mother. It’s sweet and all, but do you know what it makes you look like when you’re on a date with a girl and your mom won’t stop calling you?”
Your lips couldn’t help but curl into a grin. “Aw, you’re a Momma’s boy.”
“This is exactly what I mean,” Jaehyun groaned. 
“No, it’s… cute,” you said, but it was impossible to control the giggles falling from your lips. “Most of the guys I know like that are sweethearts. Johnny, Mark. Maybe you.”
Jaehyun found that amusing. “You think I’m a sweetheart?”
You shrugged your shoulders. “Maybe. I don’t know you well enough to decide, but seemingly, sure.”
“Do you want to?”
“Do I want to what?”
“Know me better,” Jaehyun said, tentative. Almost as if he wasn’t sure what he wanted.
That was the million dollar question. On the one hand, Jaehyun was cute and it most likely wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time together, but on the other, there was the Johnny thing. You groaned. “God, Johnny would have a heart attack if he knew I was with you right now. Maybe even an aneurysm.”
Jaehyun snickered with mischief. “Who said that he has to know?”
That response downright shocked you. You weren’t expecting it from somebody like him, though then again, you knew virtually nothing about this boy and it only made you want to sate your curiosity. “Ooh. You’re trouble, Jeong Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun took that in stride. “I’m guessing you like that.”
Taking a step closer, you started to close the gap between you that Jaehyun had created for your sake. “Hm, you know what they say.”
“I don’t think I do.” 
“It’s always the quiet ones that deal the most damage,” you whispered sultrily, glancing into his gentle brown eyes. 
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered. That caught him off-guard.
Then, you backed away and waved him goodbye. “I’ve gotta go. Later, Dimples.”
Dimples? That was new. Jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the nickname and he was so stunned that it distracted him from his train of thoughts. 
It was only when you were long gone that he realized that you never answered his question. 
You needed time to think, to decide if Jaehyun was worth potentially losing your brother’s trust. You didn’t know why he hated him, but his less than enthusiastic reactions to him said more than enough. Jaehyun was cute, but you could easily find another cute guy whose bones your brother didn’t mention crushing.
But damn, you were curious. And curiosity killed the cat. You knew one thing, though. You were starting to like Jeong Jaehyun. 
You shook your head, ashamed of yourself. This is really what’s it’s come to, huh?
Jaehyun thought about that exchange on the bridge every now and then for the next couple of days and chastised himself for even making moves on you of all people. She’s his baby sister, you asshole. She’s off-limits. 
Not that it would really stop him, if you let him have you. 
It wasn’t like Johnny had to know. Jaehyun could keep a secret and he assumed that you had a handful of your own. People with strict upbringings tended to have a lot of practice with being sneaky and your situation was close enough. 
He sat on his bed and heaved a breath, playing with a lighter. 
Meanwhile, you were with your boys, listening to them chatter about disgusting boy things but lowkey too curious to abandon your spot on the sofa that was too comfortable for its own good. Nobody liked sleeping on sofas, but you swore you wouldn’t mind on this one. Plus sometimes you’d gotten drunk here enough where you almost dozed off. 
You made a gagging noise when Mark started to talk about his nth blowjob of the week. You weren’t counting, but he definitely was. 
“Your dick probably has so much chlamydia that it’ll mutate into a different variant like Covid,” Haechan teased. 
You grimaced, but you definitely agreed. 
“You’re one to talk,” Mark snapped. 
Haechan nodded, grinning proudly. “Of course, I am. I always wear condoms and get tested regularly. I’m clean as a whistle.”
You shook your head in amusement. “I’ve never understood the saying ‘clean as a whistle.’ Like aren’t whistles actually contaminated from being in someone’s mouth? Now, when you combine that logic with your dick…”
Jeno burst into laughter. Yuta obviously found it funny from the smile on his face and Mark would never miss a chance to laugh at his friend’s expense. 
Haechan dramatically rolled his eyes. “And what about you, little miss? How often do you get laid?”
“Definitely not as often as you guys,” you replied, coming to a stand. Not that you wanted to kiss the sofa goodbye. “I’ll be right back. I’ve gotta tinkle.”
Mark’s nose wrinkled. “You didn’t think that was too much information?”
You almost threw the remote at your best friend, but spared him. There was no way this dude was talking about too much information when he was literally giving you all a play-by-play of his sex life. 
“If it burns when you pee, Mark gave you the airborne strand of chlamydia,” Yuta joked dryly. 
You left too quickly to see Mark attempt to murder Yuta and it was a shame that you had to miss it. There was no doubt that Haechan would exaggerate the moment to make you regret not being there, but right now, you were concentrated on finding the bathroom. 
And of course, it was when you finally made it upstairs through the groups of bodies that you realized you didn’t know where it was. 
You groaned, cursing yourself for being so forgetful. You’d only been here a couple of times and never long enough to use the fucking bathroom, apparently. And you really couldn’t fucking hold it. 
You glanced around the set of doors upstairs, incapable of keeping still. Thank god nobody was here except for you. If I was a bathroom, which door would I be behind?
You set eyes on a random door and said, “Fuck it.” You marched right up to it and knocked none too gently, seeping with impatience. 
To your surprise, it was Jaehyun that opened the door, a pair of headphones slung around his neck. And behind him was a bed, not a toilet. 
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered with shock and he said your name. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh, um, I was kinda looking for the bathroom. I’m guessing this isn’t it,” you said with a little humor, which was remarkable, all things considered. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here, baby.”
“Oh.” You knew that, so the fact that it slipped your mind meant that you definitely weren’t yourself when you had to pee. 
Jaehyun had the audacity to laugh. He opened his door a little wider. “You can use mine. It’s that door over there.”
“Thank you,” you said in relief, immediately darting for the bathroom. 
You were even more relieved by the time you washed your hands and walked back into his bedroom, no longer fighting to keep still. Jaehyun was sitting on his bed where his headphones were now cast aside. God, how loud did you have to be knocking for him to hear you over those?
“You sure were in a hurry,” Jaehyun teased. 
You rolled your eyes, but a little laugh fell from your lips. You wholeheartedly blamed Jeno and his damn poisonous drinks. Sighing in relief, you glanced around Jaehyun’s room. For a boy, he was exceptionally tidy. He had vinyls organized on a shelf. “No girls in here, I see.”
Jaehyun didn’t know whether to be offended by that or not. “What do you think I am, a pimp?”
You snickered. “Nah. I’m just traumatized. Sue me.”
Jaehyun knew better than to ask questions that he didn’t want to know the answers to, so he left it alone. “You never answered my question the other day.”
“What question?” you asked. Obviously, you were playing dumb. You needed every second to think about what your response would be, although you’d had the past forty-eight hours and then some to contemplate. 
Your damn brother was the only thing that stood between you and Jaehyun. 
Johnny wasn’t around this time for obvious reasons. There was no way in hell that he’d step foot in the house of his mortal enemy. He didn’t want you to be there either, but you assured him that you’d steer clear of all things Jeong Jaehyun. 
And it wasn’t as if you had deliberately lied. It (kind of) wasn’t your fault that you didn’t know where the bathroom was. 
“If you wanted to get to know me better.”
You stepped over to his bed, sitting beside him and sighing. “Jaehyun, you know my brother won’t approve.”
“I guess that’s a ‘no’ then,” Jaehyun muttered. 
Your eyes glanced at his handsome face, then his beautiful, twinkling brown eyes, and finally his soft pink lips. And when they flitted so low, there was no looking back. You leaned in and pressed your lips to Jaehyun’s, waiting for him to kiss back, and when he did without hesitation your heart soared. 
His hands flew to your back, eyes fluttering closed. God, he tasted as good as he smelled, and it was more than a little arousing. You made him fall against his mattress, straddling his hips and kissing him even deeper.
The change was welcome. His heart was racing just from locking lips with you and it took him to the sky. He grabbed a hold of your hips, which fit snugly in his palms, and listened to the soft sighs that slipped from your mouth in between the kisses. 
Mark was probably downstairs wondering, Damn, bitch, how long does it take to piss?
You pulled back when a certain groan of his turned you on a little too much to be safe. Jaehyun was secretly disappointed, but he didn’t complain, taking time to catch his breath. “Is that a maybe?”
You giggled and shook your head. “It’s a yes.”
Jaehyun sat up and grinned. He knew what he was getting himself into, but he didn’t care. There was something about you that made him defy gravity. 
Still straddling his hips, you threaded your fingers through his hair and leaned in to whisper into his ears, “We’re playing with fire.”
“Ironically, I thought the same thing,” Jaehyun deadpanned. 
You chuckled. Well, if you didn’t care, and he didn’t care, nothing more needed to be said. You were really doing this. 
Jaehyun realized that he already really liked holding you. You were warm and soft to the touch, and you fit perfectly in his arms. “Have you been drinking?”
“Nope.”
“Did you do any drugs?”
“Not even a little,” you said, raising a brow at the question. Much to your chagrin, it reminded you of your brother’s incessant worry. “Why?”
Jaehyun said without hesitation, “Because I’ve got weed.”
That was exciting. No wonder Jaehyun never came downstairs during his roommates’ parties. The real party was in his bedroom. “Geez, Dimples. What are you waiting for?”
Jaehyun laughed at your enthusiasm and grabbed his lighter off his nightstand. You were flattered when he let you roll and even more when he praised your technique, which took years to develop. Thank god for your experienced friends. 
The high had you hyper aware of everything. Jaehyun’s whole room smelled like him, to no surprise. As he said, he lived there, fuck’s sake. But it was pleasant and you were honestly forgetting that you even promised to return downstairs.
The guilt and pressure of keeping secrets from Johnny was heavy on your back a few moments ago, but after the marijuana settled in, you relaxed into Jaehyun’s side. He didn’t seem to mind. Maybe it was the tree getting to his brain, but his hands got a little bolder, too. 
And it also only enhanced your curiosity. “Do you do this often, Jaehyun?”
“You mean invite girls into my room to talk and smoke?”
“Yeah.”
Jaehyun took a drag and exhaled into the thick air of his room. “Eh, not really. I’ve had girls in my room before, obviously, but it never really lasts.”
You weren’t surprised. Any girl could see that Jaehyun was handsome as all fucking hell and you didn’t expect him to be a total sexless loser. Matter of fact, if he told you that he was a virgin, you doubted that you’d even believe it. 
“Maybe you haven’t met the right girl then,” you suggested coyly. 
Jaehyun chuckled. “Maybe.”
It was way too soon to ask if he thought you were the right girl, so instead you settled for asking where his interests lay. “What exactly are you looking for?”
Jaehyun knew the answer to that question in perfect detail because he’d thought about it countless times, being his typical hopeless romantic self. This was a boy that dreamed of finding his miss right before he went to bed. He was a simple guy. He wanted picket fences and kids. Perhaps a puppy. 
But maybe it wasn’t all too simple. Jaehyun wasn’t searching for a housewife. He wanted someone to go to random old shops with and look at vintage items together. He wanted someone that didn’t draw a lot of attention, but liked to go outside and explore. Money be damned. Thanks to his mother, he had ample cash, but no one to spend it on. 
Jaehyun hummed, pretending to think about his answer. “Guess.”
You threw him a look. “Are you serious?”
Jaehyun bobbed his head eagerly, lips curling into a mischievous little grin. “I’ll tell you, but I want you to guess first.” 
You sighed and glanced around his bedroom for clues, and fortunately enough, there were plenty. “Vinyls from the nineties. You’re an old soul and you want someone who fits your vibe. You smell like expensive cologne, so maybe you want someone to wine and dine, but you definitely want to be comfortable.”
Jaehyun said nothing, but you could tell that he was listening. 
You looked at the pictures of him and an older woman framed on his nightstand and continued, “You want the type of girl you can take home to your mother. And your mother wants the absolute best for her son, so she raised you to have high standards.”
“You’re good at this,” Jaehyun muttered. 
“I’m nowhere close to being finished,” you said, grinning from ear to ear. “Judging from the souvenirs on your shelf, you like going to different places, so you want someone curious and adventurous in nature. Appreciative and respectful of different peoples' cultures.”
Jaehyun was only smiling at this point. It was kind of funny and spooky being read like this. 
“You’ve searched for love and haven’t found something that feels right, so now you keep girls around for a good time, not a long one. And you love a damsel in distress, I think,” you said, concluding your investigation. 
“Wow,” was all Jaehyun said. 
Though you already knew the answer, you pressed your lips into a smile and asked, “Am I warm?”
“You’re on fire,” he replied, wondering how in the hell you got all that just from looking at his bedroom. “But how did you know?”
“That you love a damsel in distress?”
“That I’ve looked for love and gave up on it.”
You almost rolled your eyes. You couldn’t believe he was seriously asking that question. “No offense, but you scream hopeless romantic. Plus you’re hot. You know your worth and what you want and I doubt it’s meaningless sex.”
Jaehyun had this melancholy look on his face for the briefest of seconds, but it disappeared so quickly you could’ve imagined it being there. 
“I don’t think you gave up, I think you took a little pause. You know she’s out there, and when the time’s right, you’ll know.” Then, you abandoned the sadness and quipped, “But you’re also a guy, and guys want sex.”
Jaehyun chuckled, but you had somehow penetrated his mind. You had part of him figured out and he didn’t know what to do with that. It was too soon to get too deep. 
You exhaled contentedly, but the marijuana had you thinking. You could’ve been wrong about Jaehyun. You had definitely been wrong before. 
There was this tension in the room now that neither of you were equipped to handle. As standard when he was fooling around with a girl, there was a piece of him that wondered if it could be the real thing this time, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself. 
It wouldn’t have been the first time. 
Jaehyun gave you back the blunt. “What about you - what are you looking for?”
“Who said I was looking?” you asked with obvious amusement. 
That shattered Jaehyun’s former thoughts of possibly wifing you up one day. Of course you didn’t intend on dating the dude your brother hated. It would’ve been a very unconventional relationship. You could keep him around for fun, but it would have to end sooner or later. 
So Jaehyun contentedly resigned himself to the fact that you would pass, just like all the other girls he brought up to his room, and decided he was fine with that. Maybe he had high standards, but you’d forgotten to mention the part that they came with moderate hopes and low expectations.
That way getting hurt was borderline impossible. 
Then, Jaehyun started to grin like an idiot and reminded, “You said that you think I’m hot.”
“I literally said that ten hundred hours ago,” you groaned, exhaling a puff of smoke into the air. 
You cried out in shock when he grabbed your hips and pulled you back onto him again, but instinctively leaned into his shoulder. Jaehyun was (usually) humble, but anyone who thought he didn’t know he was hot was a fool. “Am I hot enough to kiss?”
Your lips tugged into a smile, and rather than directly answer his question, you went in for a kiss, holding the blunt away from his face so that he wouldn’t get burned. Jaehyun effortlessly matched your rhythm and it was dumbfounding how he could be so excellent of a kisser. 
You spent the better half of the night passing a blunt back and forth with Jaehyun, kissing and talking in between (featuring some inappropriate touches). Jaehyun was so fucking easy to talk to, the topics were boundless. Neither of you opened up much outside of your relationship goals and lack thereof, but you still got to know each other a little better. 
Jaehyun loved music from r&b to jazz to soul, though you could’ve guessed how passionate he was after one look at his vinyl collection. He was flirty sometimes, but soft-spoken and very gentleman-like and he never once proposed for the two of you to have sex. Plus he was a bit of a goofball. 
To say nothing of the fact that he could play the guitar. You didn’t know why, but that somehow made him even more delightful. 
It was pleasant to be in the presence of a guy that was simultaneously attractive and respectful.
Because it was far too late for you to drive yourself home when you finally started to get sleepy, he let you steal his bed and slept in the room of one of his roommate’s that was never home, according to Jaehyun. 
Jungkook was what he said his name was. Apparently he basically lived full-time in his girlfriend’s apartment and Jaehyun didn’t know why he still paid rent, but he didn’t complain. It was going to be a sad day for his bank account when Jungkook finally moved out. 
And that left Yugyeom. He was the one that threw all of the parties. You asked Jaehyun last night why he rarely came downstairs during those parties and his response was, “I don’t like the attention.”
Morning had come loudly as ever. Birds chirped outside, singing sweetly. You stretched your arms above your head and yawned, unable to ignore the dark curtains that effectively kept the sunlight out. 
The first thing you did was let a little light in. And the second thing was remember how you spent last night, memories of marijuana and laughter, and flirtatious behavior hitting you all at once. It seemed that Jeong Jaehyun was a promise of fun. 
Grabbing your phone, you headed down the stairs and breathed a little in relief when you saw Jaehyun already awake, waiting by the toaster. “Good morning, Dimples.”
Jaehyun turned when he heard your voice and the smile that spread across his lips was instantaneous. “Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?”
“I should’ve known that your bed would be as cool and collected as you are,” you quipped, rubbing your arms. It was colder without Jaehyun’s blankets to help strengthen the temperature. 
Jaehyun shook with mirth and it was a sight you wanted to see more often. 
“I could’ve slept on the sofa,” you said without complaint. “The party was over by the time we called it a night and it’s the most comfortable sofa I’ve ever put my butt on.”
“It goes against everything I believe in to let you sleep on a couch when there’s a perfectly functional bed upstairs.”
“Aw, what a gentleman,” you replied, coming to stand at his side. “I drew the curtains in your room open, by the way. I don’t know how you live like a damn vampire.”
“What’s wrong with living like a vampire? Vampires are cool.”
“I don’t think Vampires need Vitamin D. Humans do,” you retorted, arms crossed. 
Jaehyun’s lips curved into a stupid little smile that reeked of mischief and you instantly knew where his thoughts were before he even said anything. 
You rolled your eyes at his silliness and told him, “Whatever you’re about to say - don’t.”
Bagels popped out of the toaster and the sight of food made Jaehyun forget about his previous shenanigans. He set both bagels on individual plates that already had food and said, “I made you something. It’s not much because I’ve gotta go soon, but I didn’t want you to be hungry.”
“Thank you,” you said with gratitude, accepting the plate he handed to you. Plate in hand, you went to sit at the table, watching Jaehyun bring cups over. 
“You’re welcome,” Jaehyun told you gently. “Next time I’ll make you a real full-course meal as a treat.”
You gawked. “You can cook?”
“A little bit, yeah. Why?”
“You just got so much hotter,” you breathed.
Jaehyun grinned. 
The time you spent together that morning was a duplicate of the night before except there were only the lingering overnight highs instead of the fresh ones. You were sad that you had to leave, but Jaehyun had to work and you needed to go home. 
Sitting in your car, you checked your phone for the first time in hours. There had to be a thousand missed calls and unanswered messages from your friends and Johnny. Though it wasn’t unusual for your phone to be on Do Not Disturb, it was definitely strange to not at least tell your loved ones that you were very much still alive. 
You were just so hooked on Jaehyun that it completely slipped your mind to check your phone. There wasn’t a dull moment upstairs in his bedroom and even when it was silent you were comforted by the sound of a vinyl playing quietly on his record player, which you were stunned that he even had. 
You texted your friends to let them know that you were on the way home and called Johnny to get his usual tantrum out of the way before you got there, but it was safe to say that you weren’t expecting to come back to Johnny and Mark waiting for you in the kitchen like two unhappy parents. 
You reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and deadpanned, “Uh oh. Am I in trouble?”
Mark snickered and he looked like mischief. “Very much so.”
Your gaze flitted towards Johnny, who was clearly the more disgruntled of the two, and asked, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“You look like you had a long night.”
“That’s probably because I did.”
“Did you hook up with anyone?”
You grimaced. “Gross, Johnny. Do I ask you who and what you do with your dick?”
Johnny gave you a look that told you he was serious. 
“No, I didn’t hook up,” you replied, filling your glass with water and hoping to find a way out of this situation so that you could shower and brush your teeth. 
Johnny’s lips were tugged into a frown. This older brother responsibility was far from easy when his little sister made it even harder to check up on her. “I worry about you. Is that a crime?” 
You exhaled a long breath. “You’re right. I should have at least let you know that I was okay and I didn’t, and I’m sorry. I just got… distracted.”
That got Mark’s attention and he butted in dramatically, “Where did you go last night? I was this close to filing a police report, but it hadn’t been twenty-four hours.”
Typical cop father response. That was half the reason why nobody wanted to deal him drugs. Thank goodness he had you to vouch for him. “And what would you do if I was off with a serial killer instead of some hot guy?”
“I wouldn’t be too worried. You’re annoying. They would return you on the front doorstep with a note that said ‘come get your bitch back.’”
You were tempted to roll your eyes, but you noticed Johnny laugh a little and it honestly made you feel somewhat better. He had been painfully uptight lately and you just wanted him to chill for once. 
“I’m gonna go take a shower and brush my teeth,” you announced, discarding your glass in the sink and heading for the stairs. 
Of course, Mark had more insults on deck and didn’t hesitate to add, “You’re gonna need more than that for all the cum you had to have gargled last night.”
“For the last time, I did not hook up,” you huffed in exasperation, marching up the stairs. “And get the hell out of my house - you don’t even live here!”
You could hear Mark laughing from the overlook. 
A lot of time was spent counting down the hours until you could see Jeong Jaehyun again. You learned that he was not the type of guy to sit around waiting by his phone. This was a busy man with business to take care of and he didn’t have a lot of spare time. 
You didn’t mind, because he spent it talking to you, which was definitely an indicator that he was starting to really like you. With so few hours in a week, let alone a day, it was hard to believe he let just anyone consume the little downtime that remained. 
Jaehyun let you crash some nights at his place when your brother was being a massive thorn in your side. It wasn’t a crime, but it was easy to get away with, all things considered. Yugyeom never bothered either of you and Jungkook was rarely there, so you spent most of the time talking incessantly and getting high. 
Maybe some kisses were shared in between, but nothing more. Jaehyun was content with just getting to know you for now. His usual invitees consisted of one-night stands and girls he hung out with for a couple of weeks, but you were different. You made him think, high or not, and it was rare a girl penetrated his mind so deeply.
And so quickly. It had only been a month, maybe a little longer. He was still afraid of being completely open with you, but the way the two of you touched each other was starting to get riskier and riskier. 
Kisses lasted longer. More than once, he caught himself going after your clothes, but he didn’t want to seem like an animal. You did seem a little eager too, kissing the breath out of him and getting more and more flirtatious, but Jaehyun hated having to guess. 
He wanted you to tell him what you wanted in no uncertain terms. No room for uncertainty. 
Yugyeom knocked on Jaehyun’s bedroom door, which was already cracked ajar, and asked, “Hey, is she coming over tonight?”
“Yes, so please be on your best behavior. No bullshit,” Jaehyun replied, getting a whiff of the trouble that was Yugyeom and wrinkling his nose. 
“Have you guys… you know?”
“That’s a personal question.”
“So you haven’t.” Yugyeom pressed, “Man, when are you gonna tell her you’ve got the hots for her? You know what, I’ll clear the house and leave a bottle of wine out. Light one of your expensive candles. Girls like that shit.”
Like hell Jaehyun needed advice on how to set the mood, from Yugyeom much less. Plus he was none too pleased at being interrupted, especially because now he was thinking about having sex with you and it was doing things to him down there. “I think I know what girls like.”
“Then what’s the problem? And don’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it. We’re both dudes, man. That’s bullshit.”
“There isn’t one,” Jaehyun replied to his roommate honestly. Of course, he had thought about having sex with you. He might’ve been respectful, but like Yugyeom said, he was still a dude. Hell, the words had come out of your own mouth. 
Yugyeom prodded, “Then?”
“I just don’t wanna rush into it.”
Now that Yugyeom could buy. Jaehyun was sentimental like that. When he really liked a girl, evaluating her worth took priority over getting laid. Jaehyun had this wall of ice put up that even Yugyeom had to steadily break through. Ironically, sometimes it felt like he was still on the outside. 
But he put two and two together. If Jaehyun liked you - as in really, really liked you - then that made shit even more complicated. It was no secret that Johnny had it out for Jaehyun and he obviously came to the same conclusion that Jaehyun had; shit getting serious with you was dangerous. 
So Yugyeom left it alone. 
Like clockwork, you were pulling into Jaehyun’s driveway only a few hours later. You discerned that the lot was empty save for your car and Jaehyun’s which more than likely implied that the two of you would be completely alone in the house together. 
Slipping the spare key from under the mat, you unlocked the door and sang after locking it behind yourself, “Darling, I’m home!”
“I’m upstairs,” Jaehyun called out from the second floor, his room door obviously open for once. The benefits of having the house to himself. 
You didn’t hesitate to make your way upstairs, not failing to clock the bottle of expensive wine on the counter when you passed by the kitchen, but you thought little of it when you came through the hallway and slipped into Jaehyun’s comfortable bedroom. “Hey, Dimples,” you greeted. 
Jaehyun smiled at you and waved. His room was dimly lit. The overhead lights were turned off, but the candles on his nightstand were ablaze and there was an old school classic going on in the background. 
The second you came in, Jaehyun set his book aside, giving you his undivided attention. “Come here.”
You wasted no time doing as told, advancing towards the bed and giggling when he snatched you into his open arms for a handful of kisses. Your whole body was soothed from his slightest of touches, at ease in his arms. Jaehyun had quickly become your second safe place. 
God, you had been waiting for this moment all week. Johnny wasn’t on your ass any more than usual, but it got lonely in that house and it was even worse when you found yourself only craving Jaehyun’s company. There was something happening to you and you couldn’t tell if you liked it or not. 
Jaehyun drew back after a minute, taking a moment to breathe and brush a loose strand of hair behind your ears. “Things okay at home?”
“New topic,” you groaned. 
Jaehyun winced. That couldn’t have been too good. 
“You smell good,” you purred, breathing in his scent. 
“You always say that.”
“Because you always smell good.” 
“I just got out of the shower.”
“Without me?”
“You sound like a guy,” Jaehyun said in disapproval. 
You snickered. You had definitely gotten that comment from a boy before.
Jaehyun’s eyes were fixed to your face, taking in how beautiful you were. Damn, it was like every time he saw you, you looked even more breathtaking. 
You couldn’t help but stare back. Jaehyun’s visuals were out of this damn universe and it was borderline maddening he could be this fucking fine. But deeper than that, sometimes you couldn’t help but stare into his dark eyes and wonder what all he was hiding back there. 
It was plain as day that Jaehyun wasn’t the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially not when his romantic feelings were involved. In the time that you’d spent together, you had gotten to learn some things about him, but there was plenty that he filtered out as a defense mechanism. 
When you wanted to get closer, Jaehyun shut down, which was totally ironic, because he was the one that asked if you wanted to get to know him. Now you had to fight for it?
Maybe he meant get to know his body and you were oblivious - and you wouldn’t have minded one bit - but if that was the case, you should’ve already had sex and been out of the picture. Yet he was keeping you twice as long as most girls lasted and for no apparent reason.
Sex made things more complicated. If you had sex with Jaehyun right now, and it was good, there was absolutely no telling how that would shift the trajectory of your entire life. But the way he was looking at you right now tempted you to risk it all. 
Your lips found Jaehyun’s again, but the kiss was different this time. It was needier, desperate. It sent heat stretching through every bone in your body and straight between your thighs, and you felt like you were levitating. Your body scorched with desire, hands running down his chest. 
Jaehyun kept up with your reckless kissing very well, but he couldn’t ignore the nature of it and it made him ask himself questions. You were kissing him like you wanted him. Tired of wondering, he pulled back and asked forthrightly, “Do you want to have sex with me?” 
“Isn’t it obvious?” you countered, quickly seizing the opportunity to return your lips to his.
All of this beating around the bush was getting on his nerves and Jaehyun took matters into his own hands. Literally. You gasped when he pushed you onto your back, pinning you onto his bed, and locked your wrists above your head. “I want to hear you say it.”
Now that was sexy as hell and your thighs involuntarily pressed together. “I want to have sex with you.”
That was all Jaehyun needed to hear. He was quick to catch your lip in between his teeth and seal your lips in another heated kiss, taking in your every trembling exhale. You moaned into his mouth, a little too enamored with how good it felt beneath him. 
His hands released your wrists in favor of your waist, testing the waters. You were reactive to Jaehyun’s touches, hyper aware of his hands steadily falling lower, but not daring to touch you too intimately yet. Like he was waiting for something to happen. 
Jaehyun’s eyes sank to your empty neck and something deep in the pit of his gut was set on fire. “Are marks okay?”
Making quick work of his shirt and tossing it over his shoulders, you nodded your head. “Yeah. Johnny will notice, but he’ll never assume they’re from you.” 
It took absolutely nothing else for Jaehyun to connect his lips to your throat hungrily, leaving mark after mark on your skin in an effort to stake his claim to you. And all it did was turn you on further. There was a thudding between your legs, arousal spilling over. 
Little soft sighs and curses slipped from your lips and you could feel the bedroom get hotter and hotter. It wasn’t as if you and Jaehyun had agreed to be exclusive, but you hadn’t been with anyone else in the time that the two of you had been hanging out, meaning it had been over a month since you’d last had sex. 
And it fucking showed. You were aching for more, on top of your natural desire for Jaehyun. If you didn’t fuck his brains out right now you were going to self-destruct.
“Jaehyun, fuck me,” you groaned impatiently. 
Instead, he grinned, too fond of the neediness in your voice and on your pretty face. Jaehyun looked you plain in the eye and said, “I want you to beg.”
You were too gone to roll your eyes, but not too out of it to retort, “Make me.”
“I’m gonna make you beg, alright,” Jaehyun said without question. He made a move for your shorts and tugged them off your ankles, repeating the gesture with your panties. 
The only thing that kept you from being totally naked was your top but Jaehyun didn’t look too concerned with getting rid of it yet. Instead, he focused his undivided attention between your legs, entranced by your glistening core and his mouth going dry with the desire to have a taste. 
You watched the enthrallment on his face with satisfaction. Funny how his ability to conceal his emotions went out the window when pussy was involved. His eyes were dark as ever and Jaehyun’s voice somehow got deeper when he asked, “Will you let me taste you?” 
“Fuck,” you mumbled, sensing that he was about to wreck the living hell out of you. “Uh, yeah. Yes.”
No room for uncertainty. Now that he had your consent, Jaehyun gathered your legs in his hands, tossed them over his broad shoulders, and went to town. You gasped aloud at the first pass of his tongue at your clit and it couldn’t have been further from tentative. 
Of course this man went straight for your sensitive bundle of nerves instead of your slick folds, he knew better. Given how exciting the thought of Jaehyun dicking you down had been, you were already throbbing, but now you were tense and unstill.
There was something about the feeling of his lips sucking and licking at your cunt that made you squirm and cry out in an overwhelming bolt of pleasure. Jaehyun clamped his big hands onto your thighs to keep you pliant, holding them right where he wanted them, and kept eating you out. 
It made zero sense how hot you found every little thing that he did. 
“Jesus, fuck,” was basically all that you could say. With how vigorously Jaehyun was sucking at your bundle of nerves, it was getting borderline impossible to think. 
Jaehyun sure didn’t seem timid. Matter of fact, the way he refused to shy away from in between your pair of legs, doing everything in his power to keep them separated at both sides of his head, said loud and clear that he was a man on a mission to make you unravel. 
Not to mention that he was doing a damn good job. Your ears were hardly even working, the whole world fading to static, the only audible sound being the incessant throb of your pulse quickening by the minute. 
The sheer opposite was true for Jaehyun. His ears were on full alert and he could hear everything from the increasing volume and speed of your breaths plus your soft moans to the gentle rustling of the trees' leaves outside his open window. 
Jaehyun peered up at you, noticed the euphoria tensing your beautiful features, and his lips broke into a wide grin. “How are you doing up there?”
No words would come. It took twice as long to even process the ones that left his mouth. Your eyes were drooping and misty, damp with moisture, and all that escaped you was a befuddled, “Fuck.”
Jaehyun snickered. That was answer enough. “It sounds to me like you’re having a fun time,” he started. “Do you want to cum?”
You obviously heard that and hissed, “Don’t ask stupid questions.” 
“If you want to cum, then beg me for it,” Jaehyun growled darkly. You appreciated the brief lull of peace, but of fucking course, it was that moment Jaehyun chose to press a long pair of fingers into your dripping pussy.
Your back arched and your soft cries filled the air. It felt like somebody had given Jaehyun the blueprints to your body with how he excelled at satisfying you in ways literally nobody had previously. 
The answer was obvious. Jaehyun wanted you to beg? Fuck it. You would beg. 
“Please,” you said, your voice raising a few pitches. “Oh, god. Please make me cum, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun didn’t make a sound but you could feel his mouth on your cunt again and knew that he was about to take you there.  
And then it came. The mind-numbing orgasm engulfed you in its fury and you were scarred with burns from head to toe, most of it pivoting towards your core. 
Your hands desperately grasped locks of Jaehyun’s soft fluffy hair in an attempt to anchor yourself and you didn’t release him from your clutches until every tremble faded. Jaehyun got so aroused watching you shudder with release that he swore his own mind went blank. 
It took a good minute and a half at the least for your mind to start to clear itself and you sighed pleasantly as the wrath of your orgasm slowly began to die out. You peered down at Jaehyun, blinking a couple of times, and slackened your grip when you realized how tightly your hands were latched to him.
Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind, contentedly watching you try to gather your bearings. “Are you back to earth?”
“Barely,” you rasped, still unable to feel your thighs. 
“Do you want to stop?”
You gawked. “Are you kidding? I still wanna fuck you. If you still wanna fuck me.”
“I still want to fuck you,” Jaehyun said, pulling you in for another hot but reassuring kiss. It was hard to breathe, but so worth it. You slipped your tongue into his mouth and tasted yourself on his. 
Kissing you made Jaehyun feel like he was ascending, but right now it also made his dick ascend and his patience was steadily dissipating into thin air. You could feel his hard-on against your naked thigh and it sent shock waves to your brain. 
I think that’s the best head I’ve ever had, you admitted to yourself, but not aloud. Your dating history wasn’t top secret but you spoke little of it to Jaehyun. Did it matter that all of your exes were scumbags and rarely bothered to get you off?
Except for one. The sex was good, but it wasn’t a fair trade-off for your heart. No man nor his cock was worth your sanity and you told that to yourself every time you engaged with one. 
Plus you just got this weird feeling where nothing or nobody else mattered when you and Jaehyun were alone together. You didn’t think of the various roots of the stresses in your life and calmness was finally an option. 
You didn’t want to ruin that, so you didn’t get too deep. 
But you were hoping Jaehyun was packing enough to be deep inside of you. Fuck that, you had felt it against your thigh. You knew that he was and it was exciting. 
Your voice was weighed down by the thickness of your breaths. “Do you have condoms?”
“Always,” Jaehyun replied, pulling a drawer open on his nightstand to retrieve one.
That was a relief. You had never done it raw before and though you liked Jaehyun, you weren’t sure where his dick had been and what all it had seen. You’d rather be safe.
Jaehyun gently pushed you back onto the mattress and crawled over you, drawing the condom between his teeth while he tossed your shirt and bra halfway across his bedroom, then whispered, “Tell me how you want it.”
“Hard and deep. Deep and hard,” you confessed sultrily, looking him dead in the eye. 
Jaehyun smirked. “That can be arranged.”
You watched Jaehyun shuffle out of his pants and put the condom on, but the bulk of your attention was set on that thick, girthy cock. Your mouth was watering. Maybe some other time you could suck him off, but right now getting it between your thighs was all you wanted. 
It didn’t seem as if he glanced up, but Jaehyun said, “You’re staring.”
“Sorry.”
“No, you’re not,” Jaehyun said. 
You giggled. “No, I’m not.”
The sound faded when you spread your legs apart invitingly and he penetrated you at an excruciatingly slow pace, sinking deeper inch by fucking inch. 
You and Jaehyun made a sound in harmony when he finally filled you to the hilt, grasping your waist and using it as anchor like he was at risk of going dangerously deep if he made one wrong move and never returning to the surface. 
Good thing it was only the two of you. You, keeping quiet when he was this good with his hands and presumably even better with his thick cock? There was no way in hell. 
“Oh my god…,” you whispered, obsessed with the sensation of being filled. 
Whatever you were thinking right now, Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. You made his brain grind to a halt and stutter. “Does that feel okay?”
“More than okay,” you told him, because it was the truth. Somehow the pleasure was only spiking. The ecstasy continued to build. 
You looked so beautiful beneath the golden-yellow hue of his lamplight and Jaehyun knew he would be fantasizing about how your face tensed with pleasure for weeks, if not months.
Jaehyun especially liked the way you were tightening around his cock, gripping it for dear life as if letting go simply wasn’t an option. You wound your legs around his hips and helped draw him into yours in spite of knowing it could ruin you, a telltale sign that your desire for more outweighed any rational thinking. 
It just felt so good that it had to be illegal and though you knew that it wasn’t, it was damn near close. 
There was still music playing from the vinyl player in the background that soothed any and all nerves that you could’ve ever had. You took a moment and inhaled deeply, breathing in the musk of Jaehyun and the scent of the candles. 
Your eyes fluttered closed. It was ironic that you were on a raging high even though you hadn’t even gotten around to having your usual fill of marijuana. In legal terms, you were far from inebriated. But according to yourself? You were fiending for Jaehyun and found him lethally intoxicating. 
His weight on top of you. His deep, guttural grunts in your ear between his jagged breaths. His perfect thrusts and the way he stroked you exactly how you wanted, all the while reaping his pleasure from your body. 
It was fucking mind-blowing. 
Jaehyun had a similar thought and it tore a noise out of him. His intentions in inviting you over tonight weren’t to have sex, in spite of his roommate’s attempts at getting him to get laid when he was only trying to break you in, but it was an unregrettable decision. 
“You take it so good, baby,” Jaehyun said tenderly, but it barely scratched the tip of the iceberg of praises he had in storage especially for you. 
Fuck, you wanted to hate how easy it was for him to kindle these rash flames inside of you, but your attraction to Jaehyun became undeniable the second you initiated the first rendezvous. 
You were peering into Jaehyun’s soul, searching his whole face without knowing what you were looking for, and saw the euphoria fluttering his eyes closed and spreading his lips apart just enough for those heavenly sounds to slip through. 
You guessed you found it then, because the tightening in the pit of your gut was at an all-time high and it wasn’t skipping out on the extremes. 
Combing your hands through his hair, you whimpered, “I’m so close.”
Jaehyun accelerated his pace, wanting to take you to the ends of the earth and back. You noticed, because you could feel his hard dick slapping against your hips with a purpose, and you swore to god your eyes rolled somewhere black. 
The end was creeping up on you from behind. You could feel it. Jaehyun could feel it himself, the telltale twitch of his cock indicating that he was pushing his limits. 
“I want you to cum,” Jaehyun growled in no uncertain terms, his tone dominant. “Nice and hard. Can you do that for me, baby?”
“Yes,” you choked out. 
If you were being frank, he didn’t even have to ask. It was impossible to hide the evidence of your impending orgasm, the heightened tremors in your voice and the shakiness in your body were more than enough proof. 
All you could think about was how restlessly you were going after this orgasm and how terribly you needed it like it would fix every little thing going wrong in your life.
Your hands slipped from Jaehyun’s hair to his shoulders to finally his back, raking your nails down the flesh in a set of ministrations that were bound to leave red lines, and you rasped breathlessly, “Finish me.”
The hoarseness of your voice alone could’ve broken Jaehyun but he hung on for your sake, fingertips flitting to your sensitive, swollen clit again because he knew he wouldn’t last very much longer. 
You were even more restless than before and it wasn’t long until Jaehyun granted your wish, your lips parting in a scream and your vision going totally black. Your toes curled into tight bends as you grinded your hips into Jaehyun, milking your release for every damn dime.
Jaehyun could feel you clenching rapidly and repeatedly around his cock and merely seconds after that it was game over. He came with the deepest, sexiest groan you had ever heard before in your life, hips stuttering as his cum filled the condom, and all you could think about was how this could not be a one-time thing. 
The next few minutes were a blur. You only recalled Jaehyun peeling off you to dispose of the condom, the layers of sweat on your naked bodies keeping you connected, and returning to your side briefly. 
Jaehyun scanned you for any signs of obvious discomfort. “Are you okay?”
Your mouth was hanging open, aggressive pants falling from your lips, but Jaehyun’s attention was no longer focused on your heaving chest - it was on you. “No, more like incredible.”
That had Jaehyun in the first half, but he snickered in amusement and relief when you wrapped up your sentence. “Do you wanna shower with me?”
“That’s kinda intimate,” you said, as if that was actually going to stop you. “Hell yeah, I do.”
Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but there was a smile plain as day on his face. You cried out in surprise when he hauled you into his burly arms, hooking one of them under your knees, and carried you into his bathroom. 
Your own individual toothbrush was in there on the sink counter squarely beside Jaehyun’s. It was only right that he let you keep one there, given how many late Friday nights you spent at his house instead of your own. 
Plus some of your clothes were there, tucked into his drawers, but when you returned to his bedroom, you donned one of his shirts that was unsurprisingly oversized on you. 
You sat on Jaehyun’s bed, memories of what you’d just done on his sheets still fresh, and watched him rifling through his vinyl catalog, but because he was shirtless you quickly got distracted by the view you had of his back. 
At least until he turned around after setting the vinyl on his record player, apparently oblivious, and coming to sit at your side. 
There was mischief on your face and you were struggling to stifle a giggle. It was obvious, and Jaehyun furrowed his brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, nothing.”
Jaehyun didn’t believe you at all, but he didn’t press. 
You sighed contentedly, leaning into his naked chest. The little voice in your brain was thinking about how he smelled so clean and fresh, and good. Well, duh, she snapped. If you somehow weren’t paying attention, he just got out of the shower. 
But you were definitely paying attention, maybe a little more than you should’ve. It wasn’t your fault he looked like the leading role of every romance book ever. This was a man out of every little girls’ childhood dreams and, more importantly, every grown woman’s wet ones. 
As Jaehyun held you in his arms, you couldn’t help but think, spotting little items in his room that screamed, I come from money. “Jaehyun, is it okay if I ask you a question?”
Jaehyun hummed. You figured he might’ve been close to dozing off, but in reality, he was just captivated by the smell of your hair and hoping it lingered on his pillows. 
“You’re pretty well-off, but you live with two other guys. You’re technically always alone, but you don’t live alone. Why?”
Now that wasn’t what Jaehyun was expecting you to ask him, but you were full of surprises. He took a moment to ponder his answer, finding himself reflecting. “It’s because of how I grew up, I guess. I was the only child, so it was just me and my parents in the house. I guess I kind of wanted to know what it's like to have brothers.”
You made a noise of content. “You’re close then.”
“Yup.” 
You could feel Jaehyun playing with your hair and it made you smile gently.
“What about you and your friends?”
“What about them?”
“What’s the relationship like? Have you fucked Mark?”
You were taken aback, though rather than be affronted, the ridiculousness of that question made you laugh. “No way. I prefer my vagina itch-free,” you quipped. 
Jaehyun chuckled. It was a shock that that kid got around town the way he did, but that was why Jaehyun had to respect the hustle. 
Then, out of nowhere, you got a little sober. “On a serious note, Mark is my bestie and he’s what I imagine having a little brother is like. Johnny really likes him too, so sometimes I’ll walk in on them hanging out without me.”
You didn’t notice the way Jaehyun’s head bobbed along, but he was listening. It was believable. Mark was a social butterfly and impossible to dislike, no matter how irritating. 
And he was only irritating to some. Those who didn’t find him to be a thorn in their side probably wanted him a number of inches deep in their guts. 
You continued, “Yuta is more Johnny’s friend than he is mine, but he’s laidback. Haechan is a little shit but he’s funny as fuck. And you know Jeno is chaotic as ever.”
You were fond of your circles of friends. Most folks assumed it must’ve been suffocating to be the only girl amongst a group of insufferable horny dudes, but it wasn’t half bad. Jeno had tried to get into your pants before, but when you turned him down he took the rejection coolly. 
Mark, like you said, was like a sibling to you and that went both ways. When somebody suggested the two of you hook up, his knee-jerk reaction was to hiss, “Ew!”
Haechan was a slut like all of them but he knew better than to slut himself out to you and Yuta, though you already couldn’t have been further from his type, was one of your older brother’s closest friends. According to Yuta himself, the thought of being in a relationship with you was hilarious. 
Never mind the fact that he admitted he’d actually do it, but strictly for fun. Pissing off Johnny was his full-time job and dating his younger sister? It would’ve been the easiest way. 
You and Jaehyun chatted until you couldn’t ignore each other’s incessant yawns and made the mutual agreement to crawl under the sheets together. A rare Jungkook appearance one weekend forced you into bed with each other and ever since that was how you’d slept. 
Side by side, skin to skin. 
The sun was brighter than ever when you woke up some hours later. You noticed that the curtains were open. And they had been since you likened Jaehyun to a vampire.
Speaking of Jaehyun, he was still sleeping like a rock beside you, completely still other than the gentle heave of his chest as he snored quietly. You crawled gingerly out of bed so as not to disturb his rest, the sight of him still asleep when you stood making you sigh out in relief. 
After a quick wash-up in the bathroom, you headed downstairs for a snack. Your stomach was rumbling and you realized that you hadn’t eaten since you left home. 
What you didn’t expect was to see Yugyeom half-naked in the kitchen though. 
You weren’t sure why. It was his house and if he wanted to walk around like he just went skinny dipping, then he had that right. Fortunately, he was wearing sweatpants, so you were spared from that unsightly picture. 
Yugyeom heard your footsteps and turned. “Oh, hey. Sleep good?”
“I only slept for a few hours,” you confessed, though you felt like you were quite well-rested. “But yeah, I slept pretty good.”
Yugyeom chuckled. “I bet.”
You said nothing else. Yugyeom wasn’t a total stranger, even before you started crashing at his house, but you weren’t close by any means. 
“I didn’t think you’d be here,” you said after a pause, straddling a barstool. 
“I mean, I do live here. Who do you think pays most of the bills?”
“Jaehyun,” you chirped. 
“Okay, that’s fair. Who do you think pays the second most of the bills?”
“You and Jungkook, but it wasn’t always that way.”
Yugyeom threw in the towel, realizing Jaehyun had most definitely had this discussion with you at some point. Then, he started to laugh. Jaehyun was discussing their finances with you? There was no way in living hell. 
I’ll be damned. Yugyeomed sighed in amusement. “You know, you’re the first girl I’ve seen last this long with Jaehyun.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not saying he’s a player, but I thought I’d stop seeing you around here, like, two weeks ago. For a girl to survive a month with him, she has to really crank up his brain. And Jaehyun isn’t easily impressed,” Yugyeom said. 
It was obvious what he was implying and you knew exactly where this was heading. “I’m sure, but Jaehyun and I are just vibing.”
“I didn’t say that you weren’t.”
“Yes, but you think that we aren’t,” you replied, rubbing your arms. It was always cold the mornings after. 
Yugyeom laughed. “No, I don’t. Not right now. I didn't even crack Jaehyun that soon. All I’m saying is Jaehyun is a real gem and I think that you have a solid chance.”
“And you want me to take it?”
Yugyeom was strategically bouncing around, going from subtly planting ideas in your head to making them seem as if they were your own. “Whatever you do with that information is out of my hands and none of my business.”
Your lips parted to speak, but you were fortunately saved by the bell. Footsteps were heard from the hall and Jaehyun emerged from around the corner, voice deep from sleep, “What are you two talking about?”
Yugyeom lied without hesitation, “How handsome you are, of course.”
Jaehyun didn’t believe it for a second, but he stole the barstool beside you and gently nudged your elbow. “You think I’m handsome?”
“Oh, the handsomest,” you deadpanned, but rested your head onto his shoulder. 
Jaehyun let you. At least for a little while, but then he pulled you into his chest and mumbled groggily, “You left me.”
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your hands tangled into his dark hair. “I’ll stay next time.”
“Good.”
Yugyeom was peering into the fridge, shaking his head, wondering if he was the only one that saw your fate. 
The whole weekend was spent in Jaehyun’s arms, restless. If you weren’t getting high on marijuana and chatting about whatever came to mind, you were dancing to one of his vinyls. If you weren’t kissing each other breathless, you were fucking each other senseless. 
It was two days of whimsical fun, ignoring the world and its insignificant little woes. In many ways, Jaehyun was like your oasis.
You were starting to hate Mondays. They were the days where you realized that nothing was forever, every time without fail. The days you had to finally face the world after a weekend of neglecting its existence. 
Plus you didn’t get a lot of Jaehyun during the other five days of the week, and though you understood your conflicting schedules, it was getting less and less easy to cope. 
Finals week thankfully gave you less time to think about whatever the hell was blossoming between you and Jaehyun. You didn’t want to think about it, because you were well aware that it wouldn’t last. As perfectly as Jaehyun molded into you, there was no piece of him that fit the bigger picture. 
But of course, you were pacing down your school’s courtyard with a bag slung over your shoulder when you noticed Mark’s footsteps catching up to you. “Wanna tell me why Johnny asked me if you’ve been going out with somebody lately?” he asked.
You pretended to be oblivious, keeping your head straight and your steps quick. “Why would he ask you that?”
“Because I’m your best friend and you tell me everything, or so I thought,” Mark hissed.
You groaned, weighing your options. You could keep this private love affair to yourself and let the guilt and pressure split you down the middle, or you could confide in your best friend and hope it took the edge off. 
Pulling Mark behind a tree and scanning your surroundings for unwanted bystanders, you exhaled roughly and said, “Don’t freak out, but I may or may not be sleeping with Jeong Jaehyun on the weekends.”
Mark was understandably dumbfounded by that information and screeched aloud, “What the fuck, dude?”
“I just said don’t freak out!”
Mark shook his head, the total opposite of cool and collected. There was no way in hell he wasn’t going to freak out. “Are you kidding? Johnny literally wants to kill him.”
“God, I know,” you bemoaned, pressing a palm to your forehead. This whole situation combined with the stress of finals was giving you a splitting headache. 
The shock was still evident on Mark’s face, but he seemed to be cooling off. “Shit, dude. This is crazy. Is the sex at least good?”
Your mind was fluttering with memories and it was hard to resist a smile. Getting laid right now would probably fix you. “Jeong Jaehyun may be a scoundrel for whatever reason, but I can reassure you he is not lacking in the sex department.”
Or any department. It was strange that in the weeks the two of you had spent bonding and the like, you had yet to identify a single red flag of Jaehyun’s. Apparently, the weirdest thing about this boy was the amount of pictures he kept of his toes. 
“Oh my god,” Mark gasped. 
“What?”
“That night you went upstairs to pee and didn’t come back,” Mark started, finally connecting the dots and displeased he hadn’t seen the hints earlier. “You were off screwing Jaehyun, weren’t you?”
“Actually, no. I was with him, yes, but we weren’t hooking up then.”
Mark was baffled to very fucking his core. That had to be half a decade ago. This whole time, you were spending your spare time on Jaehyun and nobody knew?
Gripping Mark by the shoulders, you stared into his eyes and said sternly, “Listen. You can’t tell Johnny.”
Your best friend made a face of disapproval, but nodded his head. “Alright. Fine.”
“I’m serious. You have to promise.”
Mark groaned, “Dude, I’m not gonna tell Johnny that you’re fucking Jaehyun. No matter how bizarre and borderline batshit insane that is to say aloud. I promise your secret is safe with me.”
You released his shoulders and a shaky breath, relenting. “Okay.”
“But that doesn’t mean that I approve.”
“Understandable. I can live with that.”
“I don’t see how,” Mark grumbled under his breath. 
You frowned. 
Months flew by. Christmas and News Year were a blur, two events you and Jaehyun spent at separate locations. Your parents were rarely home, but the winter holidays were a period of time that they always made sure to be around for. And Jaehyun paid his family a visit that week. 
But then it was February, and the national holiday that was Jaehyun’s birthday came of nowhere. 
“No way you were born on Valentine’s day,” you remembered telling him a few months back after asking him about his birthday. Jaehyun had groaned, more than accustomed to how this conversation played out. This was far from his first rodeo. 
Though it was rare that a girl made it to actually celebrate his birthday with him. 
Idiotically, you found yourself scorching with nerves that afternoon, overwhelmingly anxious. Your whole body was tense and you paced around your room antsily for hours until it was time to get in your car and head out to Jaehyun’s house. 
You had gotten him a gift and you weren’t sure whether he would like it or not. Then again, you had spent weeks planning what you would give him based on every second of every little conversation you’d shared and you were half confident, half uncertain. 
Jungkook opened the door to leave at the same moment you were preparing yourself to go inside, most likely heading to his girlfriend’s place after spending the morning celebrating his friend’s birthday, and held the door open for you. “Uh, do you need a minute?”
“No. Thank you,” you replied bashfully, catching the door and finally turning inside. 
You took one more deep breath and paced upstairs while gripping the box in your hands so tightly it might’ve broken. 
Jaehyun was sitting on his bed, his guitar in his hands instead of standing upright in the corner of his bedroom as typical, and glanced up when he heard your footsteps. “Hi.”
“Hi, birthday boy,” you greeted. 
Jaehyun was smiling. You had already wished him a happy birthday at midnight on the dot which was a sweet gesture in itself. 
“I, uh, got you something,” you said, mentally cursing yourself for sounding so nervous. 
“I can see that.” Jaehyun set his guitar aside. There was curiosity in his stare, but he whispered, “You didn’t have to.”
“But I wanted to. You’re my… friend,” you told him awkwardly, handing over the gift before it made you say something stupid. “I didn’t know what to get a guy who has literally everything he wants, but I tried.”
Jaehyun accepted the gift box graciously, peeling off the wrap, and said, “Whatever you got me is more than enough, baby.”
You sure hoped so. You didn’t spend the past few weeks stressing over this very moment for nothing. You wanted to give him something thoughtful and memorable. 
Anticipation made your heart sound like thunder. You fidgeted, twiddling your thumbs as Jaehyun slowly opened the box, retrieving a guitar strap alongside a couple of other items. The awe that tensed Jaehyun’s features was authentic and your heart was taut with giddiness when his lips tugged into a beaming smile. 
A few words scribbled onto the guitar strap caught Jaehyun’s attention and he unhesitatingly pulled them closer to his face to get a better look. It was like a little note, but words only you would say. Play me till the end. 
“Wow,” Jaehyun whispered, feeling a thumping inside of his ribcage. “You… I literally mentioned that I wanted one of these in passing.”
“When you talk, I listen.”
Jaehyun’s eyes met yours. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” you murmured, straddling his lap and tossing your arms around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby.”
Jaehyun set his hands at your hips and kissed you restlessly, restraint taking the backseat as he absorbed every bit of your warmth and used it to fuel his fire. Your lips took him to the other side but your hands kept him grounded. 
Things felt different now. Kissing Jaehyun had never not been spellbinding, but right now? The feeling in your chest was indescribably hot. 
But it was dangerous and terrifying. It defied everything you told yourself to be true, and every principle you had laid out. This was deeper than building a relationship with the enemy. It was the intimacy that accompanied trusting another guy with your heart, and fighting the unshakable doubts. 
You had built something of a friendship with Jaehyun. Friends that occasionally kissed and felt each other up and had hooked up more than once. 
But what if you wanted more? What if you were really two star-crossed lovers that couldn’t have each other? What if?
Jaehyun wondered if your feelings had gotten as tense as his were. Months ago, he was telling himself not to get too close to you because of who your brother was and your clear lack of romantic intentions, but no amount of walls he put up could’ve prevented his feelings from getting this deep. 
You wouldn’t tell him even if they had. What good would it have done for him to know that you loved him, but you couldn’t have him? 
When Jaehyun pulled back, he stared into your eyes, not at your lips. “Let’s go make hot cocoa,” he said after a pause.
You blinked in surprise, but Jaehyun was already tugging you along before you could even think. 
The time in the kitchen together was a beautiful mess. You liked randomly bursting out into song and Jaehyun liked dancing, which ultimately turned into him tenderly cradling you there in his arms and mumbling into your ear, the hot cocoa all but forgotten. 
You especially liked the toasty smell of a hot, creamy mug of hot chocolate. It was very Jaehyun-like. The winter seasons in general were reminiscent of his personality, not because he was cold (like some people assumed), but the sheer opposite. 
Jaehyun was the warmest guy that you had ever met, in a way. Anyone who said otherwise didn’t have the privilege of knowing him, but you? You liked to think that you had him all figured out.
Maybe there was a chance you did to an extent. Getting to know him over the course of these long months had definitely shifted your previous perspective. Jaehyun kept to himself because he was afraid of his vulnerability being used as a weapon, but when you broke those stubborn barriers, you saw that Jaehyun was just a guy that wanted a home. 
He had one, metaphorically speaking, but no one to share it between. That was why you used to think he was shy, and why others thought he was cold. Jaehyun wanted to protect the home he’d built for himself and was reluctant to let others in, because he wanted it to be sturdy for the ones he would let stay.  
A hopeless romantic to his core. 
After making sure the kitchen was tidy, Jaehyun led you away to the infamous white couch that stretched along his living room wall. Your favorite spot in the whole house. Aside from his bedroom, of course.
Jaehyun, on the other hand, couldn’t decide. Half of it was littered in a slew of memories of you and his whole bedroom smelled more like you than it did himself now. Picking a favorite would be an impossible choice. 
There was a lull of silence as the two of you sipped from your mugs, but it wasn’t an issue. The silence was always comfortable with Jaehyun, as well as literally everything else about him. 
Though you didn’t notice, the weird thing now was that Jaehyun was less secure. He didn’t make it obvious, but he was remarkably nervous. Jaehyun tried to cloak his nerves when he said, “I kind of got you something, too.”
Your eyes went wide with shock. “You got me something… for your birthday?”
“I mean, yeah. It’s also Valentine’s day and you’re… important to me,” Jaehyun confessed softly, a tiny smile breaking out onto his lips. 
“I am?”
“You are,” he whispered, hurriedly reaching into his pockets for something. Imagine your surprise when he dropped a USB drive into the palm of your hand. “Stick it into your computer when you get home.”
You nodded obediently, sitting it on the coffee table so that it wouldn’t be crushed in your jeans, but your innate curiosity was never satisfied and you asked, “What’s on it?”
“A surprise,” was all Jaehhyun said. 
You hummed. If Jaehyun didn’t want to tell you, you knew it would be pointless to press. 
But you would be lying if you said that it wasn’t killing you. 
Jaehyun knew that. He knew you were a curious individual, because he was drawn to your insatiable need to know. But he didn’t want to be there to see your reaction. Just looking at you made his chest taut and rejection’s brutal fangs still ripped him to shreds. 
At least you couldn’t tell by looking at him. Jaehyun had made sure of that. “Talk to me,” he said, squeezing your hand. 
You smiled, because his hands were warm from the hot cocoa. “About what?”
“Tell me more about yourself. It’s been months, but I feel like there’s still more to know about you. Talk to me about what you love. Your hopes and dreams.”
A little sigh left you. “Where do I even begin?” That was what you said, but you’d already continued without affording yourself any time to pause. “I want to be an orthopedic surgeon. I’m obsessed with anatomy and how our bodies function. That’s why I’ve been busting my ass for grad school.”
That much was obvious. Anybody that saw you on the party scene might’ve assumed you were merely another hopeless college student who only knew hooking up and getting shit-faced drunk, but Jaehyun’s first time seeing you was in the back of a library with a laptop and a heap of textbooks. 
You were a hard-worker and no hangover stood a chance between you and your goals. But you were also just a normal girl who wanted to let loose sometimes. It was the perfect balance. 
Jaehyun was a keen listener. “That sounds tough.”
You fought a groan. “God, yes. But it’s so worth it. It’s my senior year and I’ve been waiting my whole life for med school.”
“You’ve wanted to be a surgeon for that long?”
“I’ve always known who I wanted to be,” you exhaled contentedly. And for that you were endlessly grateful. “What about you?”
Jaehyun shook his head. “No. Not always. First, I guess I had to leave home and do the whole ‘finding yourself’ thing.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s rare that people are born with an innate sense of who they are. We deserve to live life through trial and error. That’s freedom,” you said.
Jaehyun wholeheartedly agreed. Leaving home to explore his identity might’ve been the toughest decision he ever made, but also the best one. “What about love?”
“What about it?”
“Did you ever dream of that, too?”
You should’ve figured he would go there. It was the essential question. The world of trauma beyond your control. “I used to,” you admitted, somber. “I just haven’t had a ton of faith in it lately. That’s what happens when you grow up, I think. You realize life’s not like the movies.”
Funny how I call you a hopeless romantic when hopeless romantics are anything but hopeless. In spite of the pain and the betrayal, they refuse to accept that they might die alone one day. If anything, I’m the hopeless one. I’ve fallen in love with the one boy I could never make mine. 
Jaehyun frowned for a split second, but recovered quickly. “Yeah, I know.”
You wondered who had hurt him, but chose not to ask. If he wanted to tell you, then he already would’ve. 
“You didn’t ask me,” Jaehyun started. 
You glanced up at him. 
“About my pain,” he continued shortly. “About her.”
“I didn’t think you were ready.”
“Do you want to know?”
“I mean, yeah. Of course, I want to know who hurt you and how that made you who you are. I want to understand you. But only as much as you want me to,” you told him. The truth was that as curious as you were, you were afraid of overstepping. The same way that Jaehyun was terrified of oversharing. 
He replied with total certainty, “I want you to know.”
You swallowed, feeling a lump form in your throat and unsure why. It was his deep, dark secrets being revealed, not yours. Plus you were positive there wasn’t a single person in the county who didn’t know your history with your one and only ex. “Okay. Take your time.”
Jaehyun heaved a shaky breath, preparing himself to share something that he’d never specifically told anyone. “Back home in Seoul, I dated a girl. I was naive and I thought she was the one. But she wasn’t. She only wanted a guy handsome enough to impress her parents.”
You maintained eye contact to let Jaehyun know you were listening. 
Jaehyun continued, “I guess we had different desires in life. She wanted a boy to show off and I wanted a girl who was my best friend at the foundation. We only talked about surface things. I couldn’t be myself around her.”
You nodded. That sounded like the Jaehyun you knew. 
“Then, I found out she was cheating on me,” Jaehyun added calmly, but he still recalled the trembles of anger that wrecked through his body. “And I left her then and there. I dipped. I might’ve been a naive idiot, but I knew my worth. She was my first and my last.”
You were shocked. That you shared the same pain - an unfaithful partner - and that Jaehyun hadn’t had nearly as many other partners as you thought he would’ve. “You’ve only dated once?”
“For me, once was enough to figure out what I wanted in a relationship, and it wasn’t a girl who I could barely trust or be myself with,” Jaehyun said. “I talked to other girls, but like I said before, nothing lasted, and I’ve obviously hooked up.”
Ironically, I’ve been hurt more by girls I never had than a girl that was supposed to belong to me. 
“I harbored resentment for a long time, but what lasted longer was the leftover fear of trusting someone again. I only let people see what I want them to see. And because of that, I’m a little lonely sometimes, but it’s okay.”
“Does it get sad?” you asked quietly. 
Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe, but it’s better than being heartbroken. Anyways, I’ve gotten better about inviting people into my life and having good judgment. Time makes it easier.”
You make it easier, was what he meant, but Jaehyun wasn’t that bold yet. He might have been the one to approach you and attempt to initiate this private affair, but you sticking around was the last thing he expected. And that opened the door for the possibility that relationships didn’t have expiration dates. 
Reading between the lines, you were hoping that somewhere along them he wasn’t hinting about a potential future with you. Jaehyun’s head was in the clouds, but you were grounded below the surface. Because you had already resigned yourself to the fact that you didn’t have a future together.
But of course, that never stopped you from letting him undress you. 
You were hyper aware of Jaehyun’s eyes staring into yours and it was beginning to unnerve you a little. “Is there hot cocoa on my face?”
Jaehyun shook his head with a cute laugh and finally leaned into you for a kiss, obviously done speaking and prepared to show. You let him take you down onto the couch, laid defenseless beneath him, on the edge of surrender. 
You giggled into his lips, pleased at how silly it was that he tasted like the hot drink you’d shared. Your hands were wound through his hair and tugging him closer to you, wanting to be inseparable. You wouldn’t be sated till his soul was tied to yours. 
When it came to your body, you were more than inclined to let Jaehyun dominate you. But your heart was more than you had bargained for. 
Jaehyun yanked at the waistband of your sweatpants and you swore you could sense your heart swelling with the exhilaration of getting laid by the only guy you wanted. You raised your hips, letting him take them and your underwear from underneath you. 
You gasped loudly when his fingers ghosted along the insides of your thighs and unhurriedly traveled to your core, which was throbbing at the barest of touches. Jaehyun made you ache. Your body neglected every thought that didn’t concern him when it longed for him to use it until you were sore. 
Jaehyun sucked a slick pair of fingers into his mouth fleetingly before inserting them inside your pussy, making you verbally respond to the contact with a soft whimper, and stole the sound right from your lips with a hot wet kiss. You only tightened around his digits when he pressed his lips to you and it made his head spin quicker than ever. 
You pulled back and panted, “So, you won’t let me sleep on the couch, but you’ll fuck me on it?”
“It’s seen worse days,” Jaehyun said, muting the sound of his own chuckle when he pressed his mouth to your neck. 
You were torn between a laugh and a moan and the final sound was a breathy whimper of Jaehyun’s name. His mouth felt too good on your neck and you couldn’t forget his hands between your parted legs. Gentleman in the streets, but a beast in the sheets. 
Jaehyun was touching you impatiently. Your exhales were loud and jagged when he pulled back from your stained throat, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but imagine the noises you would make when he was finally seated deeply inside of your pussy that was clenching around his long slender digits. 
Deciding you were wet enough to take his cock, Jaehyun recouped his hand from between your thighs and asked, “You ready for me, baby?”
“More than,” you whispered, disgruntled with the emptiness but consoled by the knowledge that you would be full of him momentarily. 
Jaehyun stepped out of his clothes without hesitation and got a hold of your naked legs, dragging you toward him and leaving no room for empty space. The two of you locked eyes when he finally started to penetrate you and he looked at you with need. But you glanced away. You couldn’t stare into his soul as he captured yours. You couldn’t do it. 
You moaned when he pushed the head of his cock through your entrance and again when it went as deeply as it could enter. The stretch was so mad, but so good. You never knew how closely the pain could be interlocked to pleasure before Jaehyun took you for a spin on his big cock.
Jaehyun pulled out with a disgruntled groan, stealing the pleasure before you could really soak in the sensation. 
You winced your eyes open and asked confusedly, “Why did you do that?”
“I forgot a condom,” Jaehyun admitted bashfully, a timid little glint in his stare. 
“Gee, you sure chose a fantastic time to remember,” you deadpanned. 
Jaehyun looked like he was a little ashamed and it amused the hell out of you. In the heat of your vice-like cunt, he’d lost track of all thoughts other than getting his cock inside. 
You gawked when he stood and you caught an eyeful of his cute butt when he turned for the stairs. “Where are you going?”
Like it was the most obvious thing in the whole world, Jaehyun replied nonchalantly, “To get a condom.”
“Sit your cute ass down,” you told him a bit too assertively. “You can have me raw.” 
Jaehyun looked like his brain short-circuited. “For real?”
You nodded. “Yes, for real, you dummy. Just pull out.”
Jaehyun combed his fingers through his hair and groaned, “That’s one hell of a responsibility, woman.”
You purred teasingly, “Are you scared you won’t be able to do it, or are you scared that you’ll bust too fast?”
Jaehyun’s eyes fell to your gorgeous, spread legs, thickly swallowing the lump in his throat at the mouth-watering sight of you laid bare and exposed as you waited for him to take you. Fuck. Maybe both.
You snickered to yourself. Unbeknownst to Jaehyun, you were on birth control. And you had no intention of telling him right now. You wanted to gauge his restraint. 
Jaehyun didn’t reply, but he did return to the couch to slip between your folds again, and that was even better. Your pussy throbbed tirelessly, missing the way his thick cock stretched you out, and it drew deep grunts from the very back edge of Jaehyun’s throat. 
You could feel every inch of him pressed deep inside your pulsing walls, flush against you. All of him. There was literally nothing to separate the two of you, exactly as you had wanted, only the heat and tightness of your cunt suffocating his cock relentlessly. 
Jaehyun loved how you took him like a fucking champ. You sucked his cock back in like you needed it, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you. Your eyes winced closed and your lips parted as you sang his name in a shrill whimper. 
You were rapt with ecstasy at his long, deep thrusts that took you to the moon. The pain and guilty thoughts disappeared into his slow yet steady rhythm, as if Jaehyun wanted to make sure you could feel every bit of himself that he had to offer. 
Like he was making love to you.
“You’re so beautiful. I’m in love with your body,” Jaehyun whispered gently into your ear, hooked on you.
You moaned, oblivious to the fact that he really meant he was in love with you. When your naked bodies were bursting with heat and satisfaction, meeting each other in a wet collision, all else ceased to matter. 
Jaehyun kissed you again. You swore he stole the pulse right from your chest in that very moment, your heart open to him. His hands were everywhere, tenderly cupping your breasts and thumbing your stiff nipples. This was pleasure. This was elysian. This was all yours.
You were breathless when the two of you separated and the minutes of your lips tangled together felt like mere seconds. God, Jaehyun made you insatiable. As you did to him. The two of you couldn’t get enough, not of the sex and not of each other. It was lethally dangerous to want something as badly as you both wanted one another. 
But you knew that when you laid eyes on him, when you indulged him. You knew that he was endless trouble and yet you crept into his arms anyway like a moth to the flame. 
“God, fuck,” you rasped, throat hoarse from how you were screeching his name. “You make me feel so good.”
Jaehyun was so gentle and affectionate with you, tickling kisses down every bit of your soft skin his lips could access. It was times like these, when he completed you perfectly, where you welcomed the thought that you were made for each other. And only for each other. 
Your mouth was dry, open with every halfway cry of Jaehyun’s name that you could manage. Your skin was damp and sticky with moisture, a thin layer of sweat keeping his skin adhering to yours. Of course, there was a similar glistening sheen dripping down Jaehyun, beading at his forehead and neck. 
It made you lick your chapped lips. This man was abundantly mouth-watering. You wanted to give him anything he wanted and in this sex-induced haze, you knew that you would have. 
Jaehyun noticed your eyes fixated on literally anywhere but his face and it made him chuckle smugly. He craned his head downwards to nibble beneath your ear and groan praises about how perfect and tight you were around his cock. 
You tangled your hands in his hair again, desperate to ground yourself, before sitting them at his handsome broad shoulders. He had no business being this good at touching and fucking you. You were downright ashamed of the noises that left your lips but made no attempts to block the pleasure causing them to slip into the dense air. 
“Like that. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, Jay,” you whimpered, squeezing his shoulders. 
The thought of you releasing around his bare cock made a shudder shoot through Jaehyun and he almost couldn’t take it. You sensed his pace getting a little rougher, as if he was out to get you. Out to finish you. “Look at me,” he growled. 
You did. You didn’t have any other options. Not when it was him bleeding you dry, making your body dependent on his touches.
Looking into his dark eyes, everything stopped. The whole world was set on pause. You almost couldn’t breathe. This was how it felt to fall with no anchor.
“I want you to cum on my cock,” Jaehyun said lowly, rutting into you at a dangerous pace. 
You nodded. You were completely submissive to his desires.
There was a throbbing pressure in your gut that only got harsher with every wet smack of Jaehyun’s hips into yours. You wound your legs around his waist and pulled him into you, wanting to fuse together your limbs. 
Your body felt as if it were on fire. The sweat cooling down your neck, the lack of oxygen in the air. The breaths Jaehyun snatched plain from your lips. It was more than enough to take you out. 
Jaehyun watched as your orgasm finally seized you in its open arms, taking you by surprise. Your abs tensed viciously and you arched into Jaehyun with pleasure, sensing your eyes roll to the very back of your head and your toes curl into taut knots. 
You were still sensitive from your climax but Jaehyun’s pace was absolutely unforgiving, rutting into you mercilessly through your release. The tightness of your pussy drew a thick groan out of his mouth, but he still wasn’t done with you yet. And you were very keen on letting him use your body until he finished. 
Jaehyun relented when you finally started to calm down after coming undone, kissing your cheeks and the corner of your lips as you went almost entirely slack. The only motion in you was the aggressive heave of your chest as you panted for breath. 
You let Jaehyun thrust in and out of you, fighting the overstimulation for his sake. You were content to feel him brushing against your slick walls and hear those breathy grunts. 
Smoothing your hands up and down his burly arms, you whispered, “Jay, baby, keep going. I don’t care how long it takes. Fuck me until you’re done.”
Jaehyun bit his lip to veil a pathetic moan at those words. After he took care of your needs, you were letting him ply you for his own pleasure. You were his vice, his ruining. Your fingers grazed across his back, gathering the droplets of moisture that were beading at the surface. 
You could feel how hot his skin was, burning up in the heat of you. 
Abruptly, Jaehyun pulled out of you and tore you upright, holding his desperate cock in the palm of his hand as he groaned, “Get on your knees.” 
You obeyed without hesitation, meek. Crawling onto the carpet floor, you took him in your palms and stroked his thick girthy cock gingerly, careful not to be too rough. He was victimless in your warm hands, needy and at your mercy, leaving you with total control. 
Then it was game over for Jaehyun when you finally took him between your soft lips, gently easing him to the back of your throat. God, it was a struggle to fit his big cock completely into your mouth, but you somehow managed. You kept your cheeks hollowed, opening them for him to thrust. 
“Fuck,” Jaehyun moaned, head thrown back and eyes winced closed. You knew exactly what needed to be done to finish him off. 
You liked playing with his cock, obviously, but you loved having it in your mouth way more. There was nothing like driving Jaehyun to the cusp of insanity, teasing him with your tongue and hot mouth, plucking those beautiful sounds out of his lips. He lost himself whenever he was inside your throat. 
Jaehyun was in total bliss. Your mouth was no less impressive than your sheathlike cunt for all he knew, your lips wrapping around his stiff cock feverishly without a doubt in your mind that you could make him lose his own, and he almost didn’t want to orgasm yet. He only knew you, and what you did to him. And he was too greedy to want it to end. 
You had this boy all to yourself, wrapped tightly around your fingers with nowhere to hide. And you didn’t have the slightest clue what to do with him, or yourself. 
Aside from pleasuring each other in bed, or on the couch in this case. You were exceptionally gifted at getting him off.
Jaehyun could feel himself approaching the threshold of release and he did everything in his power to fight it off, to keep it at bay, but it was basically useless. He couldn’t even help but fuck your mouth. You were working him too good and he was coming whether he liked it or not. 
You were impressed that he had even lasted this long. Normally, when you let a guy hit it raw, they could barely resist emptying their load into you at the peak of climax. 
Jaehyun ultimately couldn’t control himself anymore and his jaw slacked with a deep, lethal groan as his hips came to a total standstill, painting the back of your throat with a streak of cum. Fuck, it was the sexiest noise you’d ever heard, and it aroused a throbbing between your legs. 
You managed to gulp him down and it was the hottest thing Jaehyun had ever seen watching you swallow his cum like that. He pulled back, a misty gleam in his dark soulless eyes as he collapsed onto the couch, breathless. There was a layer of dew at your lashes and you dabbed at your eyes to wipe them clear. 
Jaehyun looked like he’d just had the ground ripped from underneath him. “You just blew my mind,” he said through jagged breaths. 
You didn’t miss a beat. “I just blew you.”
Jaehyun laughed, shaking the hair out of his face. 
After both of you found your clothes and redressed yourselves, you decided to mention slyly, “By the way, I’m on birth control.”
Jaehyun’s mouth gaped open. “Are you serious? I was scared you might get pregnant.”
“That didn’t stop you from fucking me though, now did it?” you replied, crossing your arms. 
“I wasn’t that scared.”
You snickered. This idiot was a man you wanted to protect with your life, but you knew that you lacked the arsenal. “Besides, at least our baby would’ve had the world’s finest father.”
“And the world’s finest mother. They would’ve been beautiful,” Jaehyun flirted. 
Your cheeks flushed with heat at the compliment and his obvious flirtatious behavior. “I meant that you would’ve been a good dad, but sure. That works too.”
Jaehyun’s eyes flickered in shock. “Why do you think that?”
You shrugged, not thinking too hard about it. You didn’t need to when the answer was right at the tip of your tongue. “Because love itself is your passion. You’re selfless, patient. Protective. And you fight for what you love.”
Jaehyun said nothing. He was mulling over your confession, suspiciously quiet the whole time, but you were so tired that you hardly noticed. Your body was spent and you wanted to go upstairs and climb into his bed. 
You stretched your arms over your head and stood to collect the cocoa-stained dishes in your arms. Jaehyun blinked at the action, and would’ve stopped you to do it himself, but you were already halfway to the kitchen by the time he noticed. 
Jaehyun walked over and pressed himself behind you, draping his arms around your hips and resting his chin on your shoulder. You giggled, enamored with how it felt to be skin-to-skin with him, and when you finished with the two mugs, he reached over your head to set them down in the cabinets. 
You dragged Jaehyun upstairs by his arm to his own bedroom and slipped beneath his silk sheets, but invited him to drape himself above you and rest his head on your chest like you were his fluffy pillow and he was the thick, cozy blankets. 
It was comfortable that way. You liked Jaehyun’s weight on you, so close to you, crushed beneath the pressure. His arms would tangle around you and leave you little room to escape. But you wouldn’t want to leave. 
That was how you woke up sometimes. You used to be afraid that you’d accidentally rouse him and disturb his beauty slumber, but Jaehyun always slept like a ton of bricks. This boy could probably sleep through a hurricane and wake up wondering what happened to his roof. 
You sighed, whisking your fingers through his dark hair and staring at his face. You expected his eyes to be closed when you looked at him, but they were watching you. The ache in your chest was unignorable, unbearable. 
Those long nights and shorter mornings with Jaehyun were all you had, but you wanted something of permanence and you were finally admitting it to yourself. You knew these moments couldn’t last forever and didn’t attempt to deny it, but you were hoping and wishing. 
Smoothing your thumb down Jaehyun’s cheek, you felt a piece of your heart crumble. I can’t have you and I don’t even know why. 
“Jay?” you whispered. 
“Hm?”
You hesitated, brimming with reluctance. A few months ago, you would’ve thought it wasn’t your place to ask, but dammit Johnny was your brother and Jaehyun… meant something to you. This was officially your business. “Why does my brother hate you?” you asked. 
Jaehyun sat up abruptly, surprised. You matched the shock in his eyes, startled by his sudden movements. “You don’t know?”
You shook your head. “No. Johnny never told me. I assumed he would when he was ready, but it’s killing me and I need to know.” Because I can’t make sense of why we can’t be together, but ironically, it makes it easier to justify being here with you right now.
Jaehyun ran his fingers through his hair, looking particularly perturbed. No wonder it was so easy for you to climb into bed with him. Night after night, weekend after weekend. 
You were almost afraid to ask, “Is this going to change my perspective on you?”
“It shouldn’t if you believe me,” Jaehyun said, but the truth was that he wasn’t too confident that you’d take his side. 
You peered up at him expectantly, resting your hand on his back while he sat beside you. You were partly terrified to know the truth, watching him nervously, but god, you were exhausted of being kept in the dark. 
Jaehyun exhaled deeply. He didn’t want to lose you, not before he truly had you, but he knew what he was, and more importantly, he knew what he wasn’t. “You knew Mike, right?”
You bobbed your head, lips parting in surprise at the mention of Johnny’s friend, but let him continue. 
Jaehyun explained, “I’m sure you know, but he was addicted to drugs and it was fucking up his whole life. I tried to help him get clean before he fucked around and killed himself. And he was, I think. That’s what he said.”
You recognized this story. Johnny had said something similar, but it was about his own efforts. You somehow never realized that Jaehyun and Mike were friends. “But?”
“But then he wasn’t clean anymore,” Jaehyun said in the tiniest voice ever. “Last year, at one of Xiaojun’s parties. It came out of nowhere. He overdosed on fent and coke.”
You knew that too. And you hated that Mike was gone so soon, taken by a poison he couldn’t stop once he’d gotten his hands on it. It was heartbreaking. 
“Then some people started to say that I did it, that I gave him the drugs. And I was at the party only a room away when he OD’d, but I swear to god it wasn’t me. But they ran with it anyway.”
You frowned, pausing your hands’ consolations at his back in shock. It was starting to add up now, why Johnny hated Jaehyun. Because he thought he was complicit in the death of one of his closest friends. 
That was when he started to become a tad too overprotective of you and it didn’t take a genius to piece together why, but you never knew it was the reason he loathed Jaehyun and didn’t want you anywhere near him. There were so many nights where you went to parties at Jaehyun’s house and Johnny would ask if you’d done any drugs. 
Because of Jaehyun. 
“God, to this day, I want to punch the bastard that gave Mike that stuff. And if I knew who he was, I’d kick his ass. So, I can understand why Johnny wants to kick mine. But it wasn’t me,” Jaehyun said, sounding broken. 
You blinked, taking it all in silently. You were at a crossroads. 
Though he was hesitant, Jaehyun glanced into your eyes, unsure of what your silence meant. It was killing him. “Please tell me you believe me.”
“I believe you,” you said, because you did. You had no reason to doubt Jaehyun. Plus you hadn’t known him to press his luck with anything other than weed in the time that you’d known each other. 
“Thank god,” Jaehyun sighed in relief. “Does this change things between us?”
You shook your head. “No. I thought you were a good guy before and I still think you’re a good guy now. Nothing is new.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
Jaehyun rested his head on your shoulder and mumbled with obvious melancholy, “Trusting me.”
You laced your fingers through Jaehyun’s, squeezing his hand. “I’ll always trust you.”
That warmed Jaehyun’s heart and he sat there wondering what he had done to deserve you. It felt like there was a burden lifted from his shoulders. 
The day went on, bleeding into night. You expected Jaehyun to want to go somewhere to celebrate his birthday, but he reassured you that he was more than content to spend it indoors with you.
Still, it made you a little sad and you tried your best to cloak your gloomy emotions with your affections. You didn’t want Jaehyun to know, but you were thinking about how nice it would’ve been to do something as simple as go out together. 
Reasonably, you were shocked when Jaehyun said, “I want to try out this Japanese restaurant with you next weekend.”
You blinked. “You want to go out… with me?” you asked, making sure you weren’t mistaken. 
Jaehyun nodded, enthusiastic. “Is that a bad idea?”
“What if we get caught together?”
Jaehyun shrugged. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Of course it is. You don’t have anything to lose,” you said, but your tone was humorous.
Jaehyun replied without hesitation, “I have you to lose.”
You were sold. Those five words were all you needed to hear.
There was a ginormous beaming smile on your face when you both finally decided to call it a night and you fell asleep with a certain soreness in your cheeks. 
Jaehyun stayed up a little later than you had. Not on purpose, but it was impossible to rest his eyes when he was distracted by your sleep patterns. Your soft snores and the way your hand curled over his stomach. 
It was the sheer opposite of annoying. It was intoxicating. 
He was the one clinging to you when you roused from bed after sunrise. You felt bad for slipping away like a thief in the night, but in your defense, it was daytime and you had to be in your professor’s classroom for attendance. 
After washing up and tossing on a spare outfit you had in Jaehyun’s room for events like these, you scribbled an apologetic note that he would surely find on his nightstand and quietly crept downstairs with a sadness weighing on you now that you had to leave. 
And surely enough, Jaehyun woke up to the note and smiled like a dumbass when he rubbed his eyes and read it to himself. 
Good morning, sleeping handsome. I’m gonna miss you today, but I have an early afternoon class that I have to pass to graduate. You sleep like deadweight, by the way. I had to fight out of your arms and you didn’t notice. See you next weekend. Call me. 
Jaehyun crawled out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower, but he could tell that you’d obviously already taken one with a single simple glance, and he was wishing you had invited him to join you. 
Now he sounded like a guy. Which was fair, because he was one. 
You raced home after class ended. Though you had more than enough exams that it would’ve been a good idea to study for, the main thing on your mind was plugging in the flash drive Jaehyun had gifted you, because you still were dying to know what was on it. 
It was safe to say that a song was the last thing you were expecting. 
You froze on your bed, unsure of how to feel. Everything hit you hard. The wistful yet romantic lyrics, the softness of his voice. Jaehyun was pouring his heart out to you, opening up to you about his feelings the best way he knew how. 
There was a ripple of emotions bursting through you. The lyrics were a little too sentimental for you to attempt to convince yourself that this wasn’t Jaehyun’s idea of a love confession. Maybe you’d known all along, but you didn’t want to accept it, because you knew that it wasn’t written in the stars. 
Now you had no choice. 
You sat there and cried. God, it was a beautiful song and that only made the tears drip even harder. You were bemused and overwhelmed. Bemused that he had obviously taken a lot of time out of his busy life to sit there and record a song for you, and overwhelmed by everything else. 
Jaehyun loves me. Jaehyun really loves me, you thought, admitting it to yourself. And it scared you to death, because you loved him too. 
Then the day came for you to hang out at the restaurant. It was the first time you and Jaehyun actually spent time together outside of his house. The meetup on the bridge and the incident at Jeno’s house didn’t count. Those were merely instances you’d happened to cross paths. 
When Jaehyun came up behind you in a back hug while you were waiting for him (you were embarrassingly early), you didn’t jolt or startle, relaxing into his touch without sparing him a glance first. Nobody else would be wearing his sexy ass cologne. 
You didn’t mention the song or acknowledge the obvious romantic tension between you at all, much to Jaehyun’s disappointment. But he knew you definitely took the flash drive back home. It wasn’t on the coffee table when he went downstairs, meaning you had grabbed it on your way out.   
He couldn’t help but wonder if you had listened to it and vividly pictured your reaction, but Jaehyun knew it would be pointless obsessing over the thought if he wasn’t going to ask. 
The truth was that you were conflicted. Your heart wanted Jaehyun, but you were rational and knew it was ridiculous. There was no point in setting yourselves up for more useless heartbreak. 
But you had fun with Jaehyun in that restaurant. You didn’t want to admit it, but it was the closest thing to a date you would ever have with him. You talked and held hands underneath the table like the pair of lovers you hoped you were in another life. 
Your insatiable lovesick heart was aching for more. And the worst part was that Jaehyun was oftentimes right there in your arms but had never felt further. 
It wasn’t until you were unfortunately back home and walking through the front door that you read aloud the text you’d received from Johnny. We need to talk. I’ll be home in an hour. “Well, that cannot be good,” you mumbled to yourself. 
“It isn’t.”
You jolted in alarm. You didn’t know Johnny was home, though it had most definitely been well over an hour. Jaehyun was too interesting for you to even think about touching your phone once. 
Given the familiar less than content glare on Johnny’s face, you fought a groan, wondering what you could’ve possibly done now when you’d been on your best behavior lately. You lilted in the usual tone you used when you wanted to get out of trouble, “Hi, my handsome big brother that I love dearly.”
Johnny, obviously not in the mood, snapped, “Taeyong saw you with Jaehyun today. You wanna explain that to me?”
That was the last thing you expected him to say and the shock was plain on your face. “What?”
Johnny shook his head, unsurprised that you were acting clueless, and though he was furious he tried not to raise his voice. “Don’t play dumb. Are you dating him - fucking him?”
“I’m not dating him, we’re just…,” you trailed in frustration, realizing that you’d been caught. “Shit, yeah. I’ve fucked him and we’re hanging out.”
Johnny blew out a long, exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe this. God, my own sister.”
Tears threatened. At this point, you were desperate. Your whole world was crashing down without warning. You wished you would’ve at least seen the text and braced yourself. “Johnny, please. If you gave him a chance, I think you two would really like each other!”
“I could never like him,” Johnny replied viciously, face tensing in fury as if the suggestion was an affront to his entire existence.  
You approached Johnny, somehow mustering the courage to come near him. “Please listen to me, alright? He didn’t do it, Johnny. It wasn’t him!”
Johnny gawked. He couldn’t believe you were defending Jaehyun and took a gigantic step back, wanting to be nowhere near you. He hissed, “Of course that’s what the bastard told you. Did he give you proof?”
Frantic, you shook your head, and it came to you that you only had trust to back Jaehyun’s claims. “No, but...”
Johnny grabbed his keys and interjected, “Stop. Just stop. I don’t even want to see your face right now.”
Your lips were agape when Johnny stormed towards the garage, full of purebred rage and disappointment. 
After a few minutes, the shock started to dull away and you temporarily regained the ability to function, racing upstairs to your bedroom to be inert. You hated the brutal sting splitting you in half. While your thoughts were on pause and you were consumed by emptiness, it was the one thing keeping you from dissociating. 
Sitting there on your bed, knees pressed to your chest and your arms curled around yourself, you couldn’t even cry. It would come, but right now you were trying to process the pain. And in the meantime, you realized what needed to be done.
Two long days later, you were meeting Jaehyun at the bridge one final time. It took nearly forty-eight hours of gathering the courage to pick up your phone, but you had to let him know it was over. That this was goodbye. 
You ran your fingers across the wooden overlook, taking in nature, but even the peaceful noise of your surroundings failed to soothe your heartbreak. 
The sound of tentative footsteps barely drew you from your own head, and you didn’t want to face your visitor. You knew it was Jaehyun. For more reasons than one. 
Though you couldn’t see, Jaehyun had his hands in his pockets. “Am I late?”
“No, you’re perfectly on time. I got here early. I needed time to think,” you replied with a fleeting glance at your watch. 
Jaehyun watched you with unease, a perturbed thud in his heart making it challenging to breathe. This was bad, he knew, and for whatever reason, that fear that he was doomed was unshakable. “What happened?”
“Johnny knows,” you began, finally whipping around. It was the least you could do, knowing you had to break his heart. “Taeyong saw us together. He snitched. Now Johnny wants nothing to do with me.”
Jaehyun’s heart sank. No wonder you hadn’t texted or called him in two days. Aside from inviting him here, that is. “What now?”
“I can’t see you anymore. Johnny already hates me now. If I keep seeing you behind his back, I won’t have a brother anymore. I can’t live with that guilt. That’s why I’ve been running from it for months,” you said quietly. 
Jaehyun stiffened, like a boulder. “We’re giving up? That’s insane! Don’t let him stop us from being together.”
You recoiled, surprised. “Are you asking me to choose you over my brother?”
“No, of course not,” Jaehyun sighed, combing his hands through his hands as he searched for the right words. 
You desperately wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move. “You should be with someone who can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Someone you can hold and kiss outside without any worries. I can’t give you that, Jaehyun.”
Jaehyun shook his head. “None of that matters to me. I want to be with you. I don’t care what compromises I have to make.”
“Well, I do,” you whispered sullenly, reminding yourself of everything you had to lose. “It was never going to work. You had to know this. We aren’t Shakespeare characters. Hell, even they don’t get to be happy!”
Jaehyun’s chest was taut with pain. It was usually him that had to tell people the brutal reality of unfortunate situations. And this was how it felt to be on the other side?
Fighting the oncoming threat of tears, you continued, “I’ve enjoyed these past months with you and we’ve made special, unforgettable memories together. But enough is enough. We were gonna have to face the truth one day, and that day is today. It was inevitable. I hope that somehow we can still be friends.”
Jaehyun spat, “I don’t want to be just friends. I can’t be just friends with you. Why don’t you understand that?”
Oh, you did. You really, really did. This was hurting you in ways unimaginable and nothing could’ve prepared you for the moment where you had to set Jaehyun free. 
Not even knowing this day would come. 
“I love you,” Jaehyun confessed for the first time, taking some steps closer to you. The gleam in his eyes killed you. 
Those words were like ice in your veins. Your heart stopped beating. For half a minute, the whole world ceased. You shook your head, sensing a vicious pain returning to you. “You can’t love me.”
Jaehyun switched on a dime and hissed, “You can’t tell me how to feel.”
Denial still crept through your blood. Apparently, it was one of your many talents. Jaehyun’s too. “You’re in love with the idea of me. You just want somebody to love again and maybe I made you realize that, but you don’t love me.”
Jaehyun was trembling. You were trying to diagnose him and he wouldn’t stand for it. “Saying that doesn’t make it true.”
You were defiant. You needed it to be true. There had to be some way to get him to let you go and move on. You didn’t want to resort to cruel methods, but you would if you were rendered optionless. 
Jaehyun continued, “You did make me realize that I wanted love again. But I also realized that I could have it all in you.”
Finally pushed past your limits, you shattered and screamed, “Goddammit, Jaehyun - you can’t have me!”
You turned away, hoping he would let you leave. You didn’t want things to end on even worse terms than they already were. 
But you should’ve known Jaehyun would be relentless. He was a fighter. You were what he wanted, what he loved, and he’d damned if he surrendered without a fight. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to walk away?” 
You rooted in place and exhaled loudly, bristling with frustration. “The fuck do you want me to do, Jay? It’s out of my hands.”
“Talk to Johnny - you know that I didn’t do anything!”
“No, I don’t know anything,” you grumbled, crossing your arms tightly. 
That stunned Jaehyun. You didn’t trust him anymore?
Jaehyun laughed, but it was humorless. Needless to say, he was pissed. “Wow. You gave up the fight before it started, before it was over. You never gave us a chance.”
You walked away. You didn’t have the strength. 
Jaehyun kept prodding. You were unbelievable and he couldn’t stand you right now. “I bet this isn’t just about Johnny. I bet him being your brother is just a cop-out so that you don’t have to trust another guy again.”
Now that stung deep. He was hitting you where it hurt, making sure you understood how badly you had wounded him, and you realized there was a chance he was right and you hadn’t even considered it. You whipped around, snapping, “Fuck you. I wish I never met you.”
Jaehyun watched you disappear behind the thick branches, simmering where he stood. God, he resented the fuck out of you right now. You were accepting defeat, throwing in the towel, and he hated you because of it. 
The seemingly endless months of ignorant bliss were washed down the drain all because you didn’t want to be a little more optimistic. You could’ve had it all together, had you not resigned yourself to being unhappy. You were so hell-bent on being realistic that you closed the door on other possibilities. 
Almost the second you burst through the front door, your tears fell after what felt like an eternity of fighting them back. Johnny and your parents turned to face you with alarm when you paraded through the living room, but you ignored your mother’s questions and made a beeline for your bed. 
Johnny didn’t ask. He already knew, and he was only somewhat satisfied that you had done what should’ve never needed to happen in the first place. 
The days of the week started to bleed into each other. You didn’t talk to Jaehyun for obvious reasons. Johnny, the man whose shoulders you thought would always be there for you to lean on, was ironically giving you the cold shoulder. And  Mark wouldn’t understand even if you explained, though you knew he was available. 
Never had you felt so alone. You had no one to escape to. No one who could comprehend or justify the moral dilemma you forced yourself into. I’ve truly outdone myself. I’ve betrayed my brother, baffled my best friend, and lost my lover back to back. That has to be a world record. 
Seven days marked the longest time you had gone without speaking with Jaehyun since the onset of this private love affair. He didn’t call or text you either, which was understandable. Plus it was what you wanted, or at least that was what you used to think. 
You weren’t sure anymore. Cutting him off was the whole purpose of meeting him, but why did it make you feel so isolated?
It wasn’t that long ago that you did it because you thought it was the right choice, or maybe because you thought it would make things better. But it hadn’t. Now that you had effectively shielded yourself from the universe, you were less free and more lonely. 
And time continued to fly by, days of leaving the house only to attend class and coming back to your room only to collapse into sorrow. 
Johnny felt bad. At night, there were a couple of times where he hovered near your door and heard you sobbing, but he was too petty and spiteful to knock or check up on you. You had stung him too. 
The difference was that when Mike died, you did everything in your power to console Johnny. You gave him the space he needed, of course, but you opened the door for him to talk to you if he wanted and lent him a shoulder to cry on. You bought all his favorite snacks and encouraged him to go outside, even if it was just the backyard. 
Now, you were suffering your own loss, one of many but in a different manner. It wasn’t like you were a bereaved wife, but the agony wasn’t any less excruciating. 
Mark came over whenever he had the extra time to spare every week to check up on you, reminding you that you weren’t as alone as you thought you were, but you still didn’t want to confide in him about your emotions. You were afraid he would unintentionally make you feel more stupid. 
You were a little verklempt. Maybe more than. They said time was the healer of all wounds, but with every week spent without Jaehyun’s familiar musk in the air and dreamy voice in your ear, you felt less and less whole.   
What could you have done to keep him close to you, even if it was just for a little while longer? Maybe if you hadn’t ended on such cold, distant terms, moving on would be easier and you would be happier. You could’ve contentedly looked back on the memories of your last time together knowing you had done everything in your control to make it better. 
But you were worried that that was false. You were worried that Jaehyun was right and this ending was premature. 
It doesn’t matter, premature or not. It was going to end either way. There’s no point in delaying the inevitable, you reassured yourself in what you once believed was aggressively honest consolation, but you were starting to question how you could be so certain. 
You told yourself that with the burden of your immoral secrets weighing you down, you and Jaehyun could’ve never been a pair. You knew it wouldn’t last forever. You’d always known. You didn’t expect things to make it this far, but dammit you didn’t expect to have your fun cut short so soon either. 
It wasn’t fair. 
Sometimes you dreamt of what it would be like to hold Jaehyun in your arms without worries, without stolen touches and kisses when nobody was paying attention. 
You sat in the nook at your window, curled up into yourself, thinking only about Jaehyun. If it wasn’t for the stupid secret that unraveled far too damn quickly, maybe none of this would’ve ever happened. Maybe I would have you, with nothing to lose. Nothing to fear.
Fuck, you should’ve been happy. Given how unlucky in love you were, you doubted that you were intended to ever be happy. You hadn’t smiled in an eternity. But Jaehyun made you feel your peak of happiness, as if you had never been more euphoric with anybody else. 
More than once, you had been in love, but never like how you were in love with Jaehyun. Why did things have to become so complicated for the both of us? Why did reality hit like a fucking freight train?
If only you never fell for Jaehyun, never even gave him the time of day, then you wouldn’t be hurting. Your heart was being tortured. 
It took another day of stumbling into the kitchen with dark eye bags after yet another sleepless night of sobbing into your pillows, and Johnny ignoring your existence altogether while he poured himself a mug of coffee, but it finally occurred to you that you couldn’t relive this agonizing cycle over and over. 
You were sick of the pain and the dread. The insufferably cold distance when his bedroom was right down the hall from yours. You were sick of sniveling until you had no more tears left to weep, until you felt totally empty. 
Something had to give. 
To your surprise, and luck, Mark called you a few minutes after you strolled back into your room wordlessly, devising a plan you loathed yourself for not thinking of earlier. “Hey, bestie. Talk to me,” he said. “How you feeling?”
“Like judgment day came early for me, I guess,” you mumbled into the phone, collapsing onto your sheets. 
Mark sighed roughly. “Damn. I was hoping you would feel a little better this week. Johnny said you’re the world’s biggest hermit and it’s kinda depressing.”
That shocked you to your core, but you tried to play it off. “Oh, Johnny’s been talking about me?”
“Well, yeah. I’ve obviously been checking up on the both of you on the regular, and neither of you really wanna open up to me, but Johnny has less of an issue talking about you. Man, he still cares. He’s your brother.”
Your heart was sore. You wished he would tell you that himself. In your own home, to your own brother, you felt like a stranger. 
Tears burned your eyes, but you fought them and lilted playfully, “Oh, my beloved bestie…”
Mark knew that tone and interjected, “Fuck.”
You fought a tiny laugh and continued, “Would you mind doing your best friend a teeny tiny little favor?”
The suggestion alone sounded like bad news and Mark was questioning what he was about to get himself into, because no matter what came out his mouth first, you were his best friend. Of course, he was going to tell you “yes.”
Mark huffed, “Jesus. Ease up on the mischief. Johnny still wants to beat my ass too, you know? He asked me if I knew you were boning Jaehyun and of course I couldn’t lie. I’m a man of God.”
Because you didn’t feel like disputing that statement, you ignored his speech entirely and asked knowingly, “Your dad’s a cop, isn’t he?”
“I don’t like where this is going.”
Your voice was maybe a little hopeful. “Is there a way that he can look into the investigation of Mike’s overdose?”
Mark knew exactly why you were asking and even he was ashamed he hadn’t thought of the little plan. There was a brief pause before he said, “I’ll call you back.” And then he hung up. 
You were a little tense sitting there on your bed waiting around for a phone call. Not because you were worried about Mark not doing it, which would be ridiculous because you both wanted what was best for Johnny. It was because you were scared of not having a solution.
Deciding it would be useless to sit around antsily, you took a well-deserved nap after a restless twenty-four hours of no sleep. It would only do you good. Even if Mark didn’t have the answers you wanted, your grades would thank you.
Sleep came easy. Though they weren’t Jaehyun’s, it was nice and peaceful bunched beneath your blankets. You flipped your pillow over to the side that wasn’t stained with tears and let darkness take the wheel. 
Johnny peeked inside your room after an hour or two, wanting to talk to you, but when he saw you comfortably snoozing in your bed and obliviously clinging onto a spare pillow for dear life, he backed away and shut the door. He knew you needed the rest. 
You jolted awake when your phone started to ring vehemently beside your head, cursing yourself for not turning on Do Not Disturb before immediately remembering why you didn’t, and quickly lifting the phone to answer gruffly, “Hello?”
“Good news,” Mark started, sounding suspiciously chipper. “I had my dad pull some strings. And you’re gonna wanna hear this.”
Sitting up, you exclaimed in an impatient whisper, “Well?”
“Jeong Jaehyun is not a suspect, for one. There were witnesses that confirmed him giving Mike his fix was impossible. But for two, the case reopened a few months ago and they’re literally about to bust the guy that did it. They’re waiting on a warrant. You’ve got great timing,” Mark said. 
You rubbed your eyes in disbelief. “What the hell?”
“Isn’t this good news?”
“Yeah, it is,” you whispered, too shocked to know how to feel. You didn’t think the stupid plan would really work. “Thank you, Mark.”
Mark was quick to reassure you, “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my best friend and Johnny is like my brother-in-law in some weird way. See, that sounds weird. Anyways, when do you plan on telling him?”
You laughed at his rambling, but hummed when you thought about his question. “Uh, would today be a bad time?”
“The sooner the better.”
You sighed in relief. Then, you donned the loveliest tone you could muster, and asked sweetly, “Will you come with me please? I think your presence will really help.”
Mark retorted, “Should I bring the entire police force too?”
You rolled your eyes and begged, “Come on, Mark. You’re my bestie and I need you. He’s more mad with me than he is with you and plus you have the benefit of a credible father.”
“I was already on my way,” Mark chirped, jiggling his keys loudly before hanging up. 
You giggled. What would you do without that boy? He was your ride or die. 
Fifteen minutes later, Mark was pulling into your driveway and hopping out of the car. You let him in, locking the door behind your best friend and embracing him in the biggest hug of his life. You needed the comfort to wean off your nerves. 
The last thing you expected was for Johnny to come trudging down the stairs within the very next minute. 
You released Mark, turning to your brother, and you and Johnny said in unison, “Hey, I really need to talk to you.”
Johnny blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like he was mirroring you. Mark snickered to himself, mumbling something about you two obviously being related, but Johnny was chill and said, “You can go first.”
You heaved a breath. It was a shock that Johnny deliberately chose to speak to you for the first time, presumably without the intervening influence of your parents’ rebuttal on your behalf. “I don’t know how to say this, but first I wanted to tell you that I’m really sorry for sneaking around with Jaehyun behind your back. It was a really shitty thing for me to do.”
Johnny nodded along, listening. 
“But I fell in love with him,” you said without hesitation. “And I’m not going to ask you to accept us or anything. That’s your choice. But I thought there was something you should know that’s bigger than Jaehyun and I.”
Johnny looked tense, but he encouraged you to go on. “Okay.”
It felt like the whole world was watching you with Johnny’s eyes carefully set on your face, but you didn’t let it stop you from continuing, “It really wasn’t him that gave Mike his supply, and yes we have proof. Mark’s dad not only confirmed it wasn’t him, but they’re working on getting him into custody.”
Mark nodded, standing right behind you. Like he was vouching for you the same way you’d vouched for him all these years. “It’s true, Johnny. It wasn’t Jaehyun. It was some random shady dealer that preys on addicts at these parties. He has a track record.”
Johnny’s eyes flickered. “It really wasn’t Jaehyun?”
Mark shook his head. “He’s innocent, dude.”
Johnny fell silent for a long time. You could see him stiffening, penitent. “I don’t know what to say,” he whispered. “I feel like shit now.”
You snorted. “Don’t do that to yourself. Please. I’ve felt like shit enough these past few weeks for the both of us.”
“About that,” Johnny began, getting whiplash. The look on his face was gentle, remorseful, and he hated himself for being anything else to his sister. To the last person that deserved his misplaced frustration. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for freezing you out.”
“Johnny…,” you trailed. 
Johnny shook his head. He needed you to let him say this. “I know you’ve had a rough few weeks, and though I haven’t exactly been pleased with you, you’re still my sister. The least I could’ve done was ask you ‘how are you doing?’ but I couldn’t even be bothered.”
You sighed loudly. That was true. And you’d be lying if you said it didn’t rub salt in the wounds. 
“I haven’t done a good job at showing it, but I care for you. You’re my only sibling and let’s be honest, I don’t think I’ll be getting another one,” Johnny said lightheartedly. 
You snickered. Damn right. You knew your parents would vehemently agree if they were here. They couldn’t be happier that all of their kids were adults. Well, maybe if you moved out. 
Johnny breathed in some air. A lot of mistakes had obviously been made on both parts and he was ready to put it all behind him. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I forgot to do what was more important. Be your brother. And I’ll apologize for the rest of my life until you forgive me.”
“No need. I forgive you right now,” you whispered, simpering. 
Johnny stood there like a dumbass, hesitant. He didn’t feel like he deserved your forgiveness and would be spending the next weeks repairing his relationship with you, doing whatever it took. 
You took the lead, starting reluctantly, “Listen. I know Mike’s passing has been hard on you, Johnny. That’s why you want to protect me and everything else you love in your life, but I’m an adult. You need to let me take care of me.” 
A cloud of melancholy hung over Johnny and it wouldn’t leave. The grief was still fresh, as if Mike had died yesterday. 
You stepped forward, placing a hand on Johnny’s shoulder. “And you’re my big brother. I’ll obviously still give you a call when I’m going through a rough time. But you have to respect that I’m my own person.”
Johnny nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry about all that too. I’ll be better.”
“I will too,” you said, because the truth was that it was time the two of you started making efforts. 
Johnny grabbed you in his arms and pulled you into a gigantic bear hug. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him close, and breathed easier in relief as weeks worth of wounds vanished. 
Wincing your eyes closed, you let yourself be content in your brother’s loving embrace for the first time in a while. You needed this. 
You could barely feel yourself breathe when Johnny started to hug you so tightly you thought he might accidentally squeeze the life out of you. “Alright, chill, Johnny. I think I might die,” you wheezed.
Johnny released you with a chuckle. You gasped for breath, shaking your head. Though the bone-crushing hug was appreciated nonetheless. 
Mark was content to be in the background and cheered in awe, “I’m so proud of you guys. You overcame your differences and reunited like real siblings. I knew it would happen eventually, but dude, this is refreshing to see.”
You nodded in agreement. One less broken relationship. But you had another one to salvage before it was too late. 
Then, Mark remembered Johnny was none too thrilled that he was complicit in you getting away with your sneaky little secret and asked, “Yo, Johnny, are we good?”
“No.”
Mark gawked. 
“I’m kidding,” Johnny said with a teasing lilt. “We’re good, man.”
Mark exhaled in relief. “Thank god.”
You smiled to yourself. You were happy, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from your life. 
Johnny clamped a hand onto your shoulder and said, “Go get him.”
You gasped, but you didn’t question how he knew. He just did. It was a sibling thing. “You mean it?”
“Yes. You said it yourself. You love him, and I have no reason to come between that anymore. You deserve to be happy after dating asshole after asshole,” Johnny told you (sort of) kindly. 
You snickered, and grabbed your keys from your pockets. “Pray for me. He’s not gonna be thrilled.”
Johnny shook his head, disagreeing. “Yeah, he will. Tell him that I’m very sorry, but the threat to kick his ass still stands if he fucks with you.”
“I’ll be sure to let him know,” you deadpanned, heading for the door. 
The drive to Jaehyun’s house was inexplicably anxious. You could still think, but every thought went by at the speed of a thousand miles per second. And it didn’t help that you were overthinking the entire situation, dreading the endless amount of “what ifs.”
For fuck’s sake, you didn’t even know if he would be there. You were showing up unannounced, uninvited. What if he had already found another woman to keep him company in your forgettable absence?
Then, you were at his front doorstep. And you had no time to vividly imagine every possible scenario, because Jungkook answered your knocks and you could only barely see inside. 
You politely greeted him in a small voice and asked, “Can I come inside?”
Jungkook’s eyes narrowed and he didn’t waste any time in snapping, “Why should I let you in after you broke my friend’s heart?”
“Because I’m sorry and I want to set things right with him,” you said, matching his lack of hesitation. 
Yugyeom hurried over and took the lead, widening the door for you to enter and whining dramatically, “Oh, god. Please come in. Fix him. Do your womanly magic and bring him back to life. I’m sick of his brooding ass.”
You wanted to laugh, but you hated the thought of causing Jaehyun all this suffering. If it was anything like the kind you’d been through lately, you knew he was in a tough spot. 
Thanking Yugyeom, you made a beeline for the stairs, rushing up them like Jaehyun would somehow know it was you approaching them and slip away before you could get the chance to apologize. 
You knocked on Jaehyun’s door, but you guessed he really wasn’t expecting you to come over, because he shouted exasperatedly, “Jesus, Yugyeom. Fuck off.”
“It’s not Yugyeom,” you called back. “It’s me.”
All you could hear was silence. Then there was a shuffle, and a few moments later the door clicked unlocked and Jaehyun was standing before you in all his glory. “What are you doing here?”
“I walked to talk,” you replied timidly, struggling to maintain eye contact. 
Irritated, Jaehyun huffed, “We already had a conversation.” Though the truth was that he was glad you were here, standing in front of him again. He was borderline miserable without you in his life. 
The reminder of your final exchange with Jaehyun made you wince in shame. “I know, but I wanted to apologize. Won’t you at least hear me out?”
Jaehyun turned to return to his bed, reminding sharply, “You’re the one that walked away. I was willing to at least try to make us work, but you didn’t even want to do that.”
“Because I thought it would be useless,” you admitted, giving chase and shutting the door behind yourself. “But I don’t anymore. You were right. I should’ve fought for us and I regret not doing it earlier.”
Jaehyun might’ve acted like he wasn’t listening, being totally dismissive, but he definitely noticed your specific use of language. “You said ‘earlier.’ What do you mean?”
You had a beaming smile on your face as you admitted, “I mean, I talked to Johnny about us. I managed to get him to listen to me and proved your innocence. Thank god Mark’s father is a cop.”
Jaehyun softened. “You did all that? Why?”
“Because you’re worth fighting for,” you whispered tenderly, looking at Jaehyun like he was your entire universe. 
Jaehyun was so close to accepting that he would never have anyone look at him that way again. After a heartbreak, the feeling of being unlovable always loomed over his head and you were no different. But dammit if he wasn’t tired of the doubts. 
Tentatively, you came towards Jaehyun completely, sitting beside him on his mattress that you missed almost as much as you missed him. “I didn’t mean it, when I said I wish I never met you.”
Jaehyun almost laughed. That was the least hurtful thing to leave your lips. “I know. You were upset. And you had every right to be.”
You frowned, suspicious of how calm he was. You half expected him to lash out. “Stop being understanding.” 
“If you’re expecting me to be angry, I can’t do anything for you. I’ve already spent the past few weeks in that stage of grief.”
You blinked. It was as if he could read your mind. “Where are you at now?”
Jaehyun was totally indifferent when he told you, “Bargaining.”
“Funny. Me too,” you sighed. If only you had been more open-minded, you could have spared you and Jaehyun all this worthless misery. 
You noticed that Jaehyun said nothing, but he looked a little in his head. And he was somewhere up there, scolding himself for letting him be a fool for you, then thinking, I couldn’t resist loving you. Sue me. 
The emotion was finally surfacing on his face. You could see all of it now. The distress and the love and the heartache. You smirked, thinking to yourself, He’s my little damsel now. 
The grin on your lips was fleeting and it disappeared by the time you grabbed Jaehyun’s hands in yours and he peered down at you in surprise. “I’m sorry,” you told him softly. “I thought you were crazy and hopeless for thinking we could be together. Now, I see that you didn’t want to quit until you’d exhausted your resources. And I forced your hand. I’m sorry.”
Jaehyun squeezed your hand. “It’s okay. I understand where you were coming from. You were trying to make things as painless as possible because you genuinely thought we didn’t stand a chance against fate.”
“And somehow I made shit ten times more painful,” you murmured, ashamed. 
“Like I said, I understand where you were coming from,” Jaehyun said, being gentler than he should’ve. 
You shook your head. That meant nothing. “But do you forgive me?”
Jaehyun gazed into your pained eyes. It still broke him, but he was starting to lick the wound clean. Things were changing. “Yes. I forgive you, baby.”
Your heart softened at the pet name. You never expected to fall for Jaehyun. Not Jaehyun or his precious smile and adorable face. Not the little things he’d say that made you feel as if you would burst with love. 
But you did fall for him, and all those little things that made him himself. And you didn’t want to be without them ever again. 
“I’m tired of loving each other behind closed doors. I want to be seen with you. I want to go to museums and look at really abstract paintings that you’ll tell me are meaningful for whatever reason. I want to explore the city with you and visit shops I’d never think to go to otherwise.”
Jaehyun was sporting a beaming smile. “You said you love me.”
“I haven’t said it before?”
Jaehyun huffed, “No. Not even once.”
You held his face, cradling it just shy of yours, and confessed, “Then, I love you. I love you. I love you so much, Jaehyun. I don’t know what to do without you.”
“I love you too,” Jaehyun said, leaning in to mumble the tiny confession into your neck, and reminded of how desperately he craved the warmth of your skin. 
You were grinning so hard your cheeks were hurting. 
“Don’t leave me ever again. Don’t ever let me go. Never,” Jaehyun instructed you sharply, and although it was partly muffled, you heard him loud and clear.
“I won’t,” you told him, kissing his forehead. “If you play me that song you made me on your guitar.”
Jaehyun blinked up at you in surprise. “You liked it?”
“I think I’ve cried to it, like, a million times,” you admitted unabashedly. 
Jaehyun’s jaw went slack for only a split second, then he quickly recovered and leapt up to grab his guitar from its resting position in the corner of his room. 
A smile danced onto your lips as he held the guitar, strumming to the beautiful song he’d written with only his insurmountable adoration for you in mind, and the pining nature of the lyrics made you realize that the yearning was over. You were Jaehyun’s. And Jaehyun was yours. 
Losing Jaehyun, one of the few people you loved depthlessly, was like losing the last person you had. You didn’t know how to be without him. And you didn’t have to learn, because you never would be without him again. 
You watched him attentively, beaming from ear to ear, taking in his beautiful smile and soft voice, and familiar heady cologne. And you thought to yourself, There’s nothing to dislike about this guy. 
4K notes · View notes
onlymingyus · 6 months ago
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Beautiful Liar (Teaser)
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pairing; kim mingyu x f!reader
genre; smut (minor dni), toxic, angst, dark content, fluff
summary; Kim Mingyu's life has always been complicated, but you just add another layer. At least he is a beautiful liar.
dark content/content warnings; mafia au, murder, guns (used/sold/bought), cops, gun dealer!mingyu, mafia boss!jun (shut up), second in command/drug dealer!minghao, lawyer!wonwoo, blood, fighting/beating, drugs mentioned, smoking (cigarettes), alcohol, alludes to alcoholism, depression/anxiety, toxic relationships, commitment issues -- best friends sister to lover, bosses sister to lover, jun's sister!reader, soonyoung, dino (chan), vernon as side characters, names eunseok and haneul used (have no connection to riize and kiof), crying, food and drink as always, mentions being sick, doctor!reader, medical terminology and medical procedure/wound described -- as always i'm certain i have missed something. if there is anything glaring send me an ask.
smut warnings; dom!mingyu, mean dom!mingyu, brat!reader, unprotected sex, rough sex, pulling out, creampie, cum on skin, cum play, cumming untouched, cumming in pants, fingering, oral (f receiving), handjob, edging/orgasm denial, degradation, pet names/degrading names, praise, impact play, pussy slapping, biting, crying from pleasure, dacryphilia, aftercare. as stated above, i am sure there is something i am forgetting. send an ask if it is glaring.   
w/c; 25.6k and some change (2.8k extra words for patreon bonus) [2.2k this teaser]
beautiful liar - monsta x
a/n; thank you to my @junkissed for proofreading for me once again, i love you forever. i hope you all enjoy this one. i missed my boy so much and i wanted to expand a bit on gyu from shut up. give him a bit of life. its not the end of some of these characters, but we will see where they pop up in the future.
this fic will be released 8/15 at 3 pm est to read it now subscribe to my patreon and click here
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Glancing around the large living room, Mingyu glances towards you as you drop your bag onto the sofa before moving towards the floor to ceiling windows. He knew he really didn’t have to do much more for you. Yes, Jun had told him to keep you entertained, but he had done the first part. He had gotten you from the airport to the penthouse. The bar was going to open soon. 
Biting at his lip, Mingyu takes his phone from his jacket pocket and checks his messages when you glance back to look at him in the hallway, your luggage on either side of him. You could see his brows furrowed even from across the room. He had seemed so tense the entire drive from the airport and you could barely get him to open up to you. He was like a puzzle that you were dying to solve. 
“Talking to your girlfriend?” 
Your words pull Mingyu out of his haze as he reads Minghao’s text and back into the present with you. Lifting his brow, Mingyu scoffs but quickly clears his throat before shaking his head and sending a quick text back to Minghao. "No, I don’t have one. I was just letting Minghao know I had you here. Seeing if he wanted me at the loun—at work.” 
You watch as Mingyu quickly changes his wording and clears his throat once again. Stepping closer to the middle of the room, you can see the way he swallows hard and you know it’s because he’s trying to hide something from you. Smirking, you nod and gesture towards your bags before pointing towards another hallway. Mingyu’s eyes follow your hand before finding your eyes once again when you speak, some teasing in your voice. "Well, before you leave me for my brother’s shady bar, can you put my stuff in my room?” 
Mingyu feels his stomach in his throat as you mention the bar and start to walk towards the bedrooms. Groaning, he closes his eyes, feeling his phone go off in his hand, finding himself unwilling to look at it right away as he listens to your high heels click against the floor. 
So you knew about the lounge. Jun had told him you were a respectable woman. Mingyu had done his own research. Respectable was putting it simply. You were a doctor and where Jun might have lined his family’s pockets in his own way, you were like a beacon of joy for them, with your face in scientific journals and standing in front of hospitals with sick children. The lounge was so far away from who you were. 
Looking around the master bedroom, you nod before glancing back towards the door when Mingyu moves into the doorframe, only to stop and clear his throat as if asking for permission. He was not only breathtakingly handsome, but one of the most adorable men you had ever seen. You knew he worked for your brother in some capacity and in his less than desirable business adventure, but you couldn’t imagine it right now. Mingyu did not seem like the type of man to work for your brother. Then again, at one point in your life, you said the same about Minghao. 
“You can come into the room, Mingyu. What did my brother say to you to make you so afraid of me?” You smile, a small laugh in your words, as you take a step backwards to sit on the end of the bed as Mingyu puffs up his cheeks. 
Pushing your suitcases into the room, Mingyu looks down at you on the bed and he feels the image being burned into his brain as he tries not to imagine you lying back on it as he—sighing—shakes his head and lifts his hand to run his fingers through his hair. “He told me to take care of you. Entertain you while he was gone, but he also told me to behave... in not so many words.” 
Biting at your lip, you laugh once again, lifting your leg to cross it over the other, feeling Mingyu’s eyes drop to your legs before he has to force himself to look away, pulling out his phone once again to check his messages. “Behave, huh? And what does that mean? Are you bad, usually?” 
Feeling heat rising in his neck, Mingyu swallows hard, not only at the text messages from Minghao but also at your words. What were you trying to do? You were obviously testing him. You were teasing him. He should run for the hills and a cold shower. 
Laughing, Mingyu focuses on his phone, sending one last text to Minghao, pressing send harder than necessary as you watch him closely. “Who are you texting, Mingyu? Still talking to Minghao? I might start to get jealous. I thought you were supposed to entertain me.” 
Glancing at you over his phone, Mingyu sees the smirk on your lips. You were causing some intense feelings for him. He was afraid of you for so many reasons already. You were bad for his job and his friendships. You were a brat and he could tell you were having fun, seeming to know that he wasn’t going anywhere. 
Minghao: Don’t need you tonight. Jun wants you to get some shit and guard Y/N 
Mingyu: You gotta be kidding me.
Minghao: I don’t need to remind you, but I will, because she’s like my sister too 
Minghao: Keep your dick in your pants 
Mingyu: I’m not an animal
Minghao: Yes, you are. Don’t let anything happen to her 
Minghao: Understand me? 
Mingyu: I understand! 
Giving you a strained smile as he shoves his phone into his pocket, Mingyu takes a step back from you and lifts his shoulders with a deep breath. “Which room is mine?” 
You had already known that Mingyu was going to be assigned to be security for you until your brother got back, even if you had told Jun and Minghao that you didn’t need a babysitter. At the time when you said it, you hadn’t known who Mingyu was or how much fun it might be. Now you are happy to have company. 
Smiling, you slide off the bed and up to your feet, glancing around your room with a teasing smile as Mingyu lets out a breath, afraid of what you are implying. Stepping past him, you glance up at him, letting your fingers trail over his hand before moving to the door. “Follow me.” 
Mingyu’s skin felt like it was on fire where your fingers had brushed over his. He was being stupid with just a small touch, but god, you were driving him crazy. You knew exactly what you were doing; it was going to take everything in him to keep some professionalism about him during this. He was already counting down the days, hours, and minutes until Jun would be back and this job would be over. 
Following behind you, Mingyu lets his eyes move down your back and over your ass before he glances off to the side when you make a quick right turn into the room right beside yours and nod. Glancing over your shoulder at Mingyu, you lift your hands to do a quick eye to hand measurement of his height before doing the same for the bed and making an unsure sound. “You might fit, big boy.” 
Unable to stop the scoff before it starts to leave his mouth, Mingyu walks past you into the room and looks at the bed. It wasn’t a small bed, and he wasn’t that big. Meeting your eyes, Mingyu watches you smirk at him before you glance around the rest of the room and pout your lips at him. “You didn’t bring anything with you? Maybe I could take a ride with you and stretch my legs while you pack a bag.” 
You knew he didn’t have anything else with him. Clearly, he hadn’t been planning on staying, but you seemed to have known he was going to be sticking around before he did. Sighing, Mingyu scratches at his eyebrow before gesturing towards the door and giving you a strained smile. You could tell you were wearing him down. You wanted to crack him. Get to the real Kim Mingyu, not this professional mask he was wearing for the sake of your brother. 
Mingyu hadn’t expected you to follow him up into his apartment, so when you did, he could feel the heat rising in his neck and face. His apartment was nothing compared to the penthouse you were staying in or the penthouse that Jun owned. All Mingyu had was a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment in a decent part of town and he kept it pretty clean. Thank god. 
“Uh, I’ll be quick. Just—” You watch as Mingyu hurries past you into his living room to swipe a gun from his coffee table, a few bullets hitting the floor as he curses under his breath, leaning down to pick them up. “Make yourself at home, I guess.” Glancing over his shoulder at you, Mingyu pushes the bullets into the magazine in his hand before pushing the magazine into the pistol and hearing it click. 
Your brows were raised and you were watching him curiously. He hadn’t planned for you to be in his space. He had been cleaning one of his guns the night before, well before the bottle of jack, but normally people weren’t inside his apartment. Especially people who looked like you and were decent, normal people. 
Following Mingyu with your eyes, you watch as he leaves the door crack, probably to listen to in the other room as he grabs a bag and starts to fill it with various things. You weren’t surprised that he had a gun and it didn’t bother you; in fact, it made him even sexier somehow. You felt a bit safer around him knowing that he was armed, especially if he was supposed to be taking care of you. 
Looking over the books on his shelves, you tilt your head and smile at the titles. They weren’t what you would expect someone like Kim Mingyu to have. As that thought crosses your mind, you think to yourself that it isn’t fair of you to think that. You didn’t know him well enough to judge his reading habits or intelligence. You just hadn’t expected to see The Count of Monte Cristo sitting on his shelf with the binding broken as if it had been read several times. 
Pulling the book out, you hold it delicately in your hands as you flip through, reading over the words—some you remember, others that you hadn’t forgotten, having not read it in so long. What makes you smile are the notes in the margins in the same chicken scratch that you had seen your name written in at the airport. 
Grabbing a few things from his bathroom, Mingyu zips up his bag and checks his pistol before sliding it into the holster under his jacket. You were quiet in the other room and that was making him nervous. He had tried to be quick while packing, but he had no idea what to bring, so he went simple and only took what he needed. 
Turning the corner into his living room, Mingyu stops in his tracks, seeing you standing in front of his bookshelf with one of his books in your hands. You were gorgeous in the evening light pouring in from the decently large windows he had been blessed with, and you had the prettiest smile on your lips as you ran your fingers over the margins of the book. He could already tell what book you were looking at before even getting closer. It was his favorite, but that was probably easy to see, which is probably why you picked it up. It was obviously the most well loved book on the entire shelf. 
“All human wisdom is contained in these two words–Wait and hope.” You read the quote from the book that Mingyu had re-written at the top of the page before glancing up at him as he watches you carefully. Closing the book, you slide it back into his place and take a breath before offering him a smile. “Are you a tortured soul, Kim Mingyu?” 
Laughing into a scoff, Mingyu adjusts his bag on his shoulder and shakes his head. “I just enjoy the idea of revenge being fulfilled, I think.” Mingyu watches you nod and take a few steps closer to him, the air feeling thicker as he tries to take a breath only to get a deep breath of your perfume. 
“And it has nothing to do with the love story attached to it? That isn’t why you’ve read that book so many times that the pages are falling out.” Mingyu’s eyes fall to your lips as you speak and he has to force himself to look back up to your eyes before pulling his gaze away from you and towards the window with the golden light. 
“It’s just a story.” You think to yourself as you hear the words come out of Mingyu’s mouth—what a beautiful liar he is.
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0cta9on · 1 year ago
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Good Idea
length: 1.6k+ words
Genre: smut
Itzy Chaeryeong x Male Reader
(Author’s Note: Typing this on my phone was a hassle, so apologies if the quality isn’t that great. Enjoy anyways :) )
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【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★
PLAYER TWO WINS
Your friend Chaeryeong throws her hands up to celebrate her victory while you slump deeper into the couch, the bitter sting of your 10th defeat in a row filling your mind.
“Get owned, los-“ Chaeryeong begins to taunt you, but stops as she notices your upset expression. She scoots closer to you, offering you an apologetic look. “Sorry, did I upset you?”
You lightly chuckle at her reaction and shake your head. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Chaeryeong.”
“Then what’s wrong, oppa?” She asks, looking up at you expectantly with her big, round eyes. You sigh as you recount the details of your failed date. A couple weeks ago, Chaeryeong recommended you to try a dating app after expressing to her that you wanted to meet someone new. She helped you set up your profile, and after a while of getting left on read, you finally managed to secure a date with a girl who you thought was cute and fun to talk to. Things were going great… Until your first date with her. Your lack of dating experience in the past few years turned you into an awkward, blubbering mess in front of her. It didn’t help that you decided to order the spiciest item on the menu that basically killed any chance you had of salvaging your date (and your taste buds).
Chaeryeong gently rubs your arm as you sink lower into the couch, accepting the fact that you’ll probably die alone.
“I’m sorry, oppa. Is there something I can do to cheer you up?”
“I don’t think there is.” You let out a deep sigh and stare at the ceiling, lost in thought. Maybe dying alone wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not like you haven’t gotten used to being alone by now.
“Um…” Chaeryeong anxiously bites her lip as she turns to look at you. “Do you wanna try touching my boobs?”
Your head jerks up as your eyes widen in shock. “W-what did you just say?”
“I read somewhere on the internet that guys like touching boobs.” Her wide innocent eyes stare back at you without a single thought behind them. Chaeryeong had a habit of blurting out strange things, but this is by far the most insane thing she has ever said.
“I-I mean, you’re not wrong, b-but…” You were at a complete loss of words by her proposition, but you couldn’t help scan your eyes down her body. Her white ruffled tank top accentuated her breasts while also showcasing her tiny waist and sexy abs she achieved from years of being a dancer. Paired with her skin tight jeans that emphasized her curvy ass and thighs, you almost humored the idea of running your hands all over her body.
“W-why? Just why?” you ask, confused yet slightly turned on.
“Because you’re my friend and I don’t like seeing you so upset,” she responded with a pout on her lip and puppy dog eyes. It was practically impossible to say no to her whenever she made that face. With a sigh, you end up giving in.
“O-okay okay, fine. Just… You offered this, so no telling anyone I did anything weird, alright?” Beneath your apprehension, your heart was pounding with excitement. Not getting any action for years made you go feral at the simple thought of copping a feel.
A smile grows on Chaeryeong’s face as she giggles with elation. “Okay!” She sits on your lap, her ass pushing against your crotch. “Don’t be shy, oppa,” Chaeryeong teases as she grabs your wrists, placing your hands on her ample chest covered by her top. You instinctively squeeze her breasts, eliciting a cute moan from her lips. Almost instantly, your cock begins to strain in your pants, smushed against Chaeryeong’s ass, as your primal urges begin to take over.
“Looks like someone is excit- MMM!!” Chaeryeong’s words are interrupted by your mouth kissing on the supple skin of her neck. All of your inhibitions fade from your body, every action driven solely by hunger. You couldn’t deny how sexy your friend was as she succumbed to your every move. Each squeeze of her chest, each nibble of her ear, each lick on her neck turned her body into putty, completely malleable in your hands. This became evident in how you are able to lift her top without resistance, exposing her braless tits.
Chaeryeong’s mounds were absolutely perfect in your palms, soft yet firm and perfectly round. Paired with her toned abs, you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be able to rub your hands all over her amazing body.
“D-do you- ah! Do you feel b-better, o-oppa?” Chaeryeong asked in between moans. You couldn’t help but chuckle at her adorable innocence as if she wasn’t being completely violated by you.
“Yes, I feel a lot better. I want you to feel better too,” you whisper into her ear in a sultry tone as your hand traces down her torso, causing her body to shiver in response. Chaeryeong giggles at your touch, biting her lip as she looks at you with complete lust in her eyes. You slowly unbutton her jeans, making sure she was watching. Her beautiful chest begins to rise and fall with heavy, anticipatory breaths. The urge to completely ruin your best friend was ever present in your mind, but you wanted to take things slowly. Savor every second of this experience.
Chaeryeong, on the other hand, was growing steadily impatient. “Oppa~” she whined, pouting her lips at you.
“So needy,” you chuckle before grabbing her chin and kissing her lips. She immediately melts into the delicate kiss as your fingers play with the hem of her panties. Slowly, you inch your hand closer to her wetness, teasing her skin with each scrape of your fingernails. Chaeryeong lightly moans into your mouth, her body shivering with pleasure. You graze her clit, causing her body to jolt from the contact.
“O-oh my g-god…” she groans, giggling with delight. You grab Chaeryeong’s chin with your free hand, watching her expression change as you plunge your middle finger deep into her pussy. Her mouth gapes open as she lets out a deep guttural moan, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. With your libido at an all time high, your mouth latches onto her neck as you insert a second finger into her heat, plunging your digits in and out of her until your hand starts to cramp.
“F-f-f-f-fuckkk!!!” Chaeryeong’s squeals, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. The walls of her pussy squeezed against your fingers as she came, staining her pants and your hand with her nectar. Her body suddenly goes limp as the high from her orgasm leaves her breathless.
“You okay, Chaeryeong?” you ask, smirking at her.
“Y-yeah… I feel… amazing…” She lazily plants kisses on your cheek in gratitude. This experience was definitely unforgettable - but you weren’t done yet. At this point, it was impossible to ignore your raging hardon, especially when Chaeryeong’s ass was rubbing all over it.
Standing up, you gently lay her down on the couch. She watched you, biting her lip, as you stripped her of her jeans and her soaked panties, leaving her bottom half completely nude. Her fit body was glistening with sweat and her sweet juices.
“Please take me already, oppa. I’m all yours,” Chaeryeong said, winking at you with a naughty grin. Without hesitation, you strip your clothes off, leaving them in a messy pile on the other side of the room. Your heart pounded with anticipation and lust as you lined up your cock with your best friend’s wet hole.
Church bells ring in your head as you slowly insert the tip of your penis into her. Chaeryeong’s body was complete perfection, both inside and out. A wave of ecstasy flows through you as her walls squeeze your member. You lean forward, catching Chaeryeong’s tit in your mouth as you continue to push through. Her cute moans fill the room, music to your ears.
“Mmm!! F-fuck… so b-big, oppa…” Her words were confirmation enough for you to start thrusting your hips into her. You start nice and slow, taking out most of your cock before plunging it back inside her heat. The jiggle of her breasts as you fucked her was mesmerizing.
Suddenly, she grabbed your face, forcing you to look at her. “F-faster… p-please, oppa,” she pleads, her wide eyes practically begging you to ruin her. You smirk, planting a gentle kiss on her lips before grabbing her hips and pounding her cunt with your hard dick. The rest of the world faded around you as you went rampant with pleasure. Pressure began to build in your loins, a sign of your impending orgasm. With the last of your strength, you slammed Chaeryeong down onto your cock, forcing her to match the rhythm of your thrusts.
Sensing your orgasm, Chaeryeong wraps her legs around your waist. “C-cum inside me, oppa. I-It’s okay.” With one final thrust, you went over the edge. Chaeryeong’s sweet pussy milked your cock completely dry. You collapsed back onto the couch, drained of all your energy.
“H-holy fuck… that was incredible,” you commented as you caught your breath. Chaeryeong snuggled up against you, smiling.
“I’m glad I could make you feel better, oppa.”
You couldn’t help but pepper her cute face with kisses. “If you’re gonna do this every time I’m sad, then I should go on failed dates more often,” you joked, earning a chuckle from her.
“Orrrrr, you could just go on a successful date with me and fuck me anyways,” she suggested, giggling as she bit her lip.
“I think I like your idea better.” With one final kiss, the two of you doze off in each other’s arms.
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deadsetobsessions · 1 year ago
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AU of Gotham! Tim Drake! Danny where he doesn’t know the universe he was reincarnated into.
“Robin!” Batman barked. Tim sighed, loudly. Batman twitched.
“What is it, B?”
“Drills. Again.”
Tim rolled his eyes but moved to obey. Speaking to B these days was like speaking to a rather boorish caveman. Simple grunts and single word sentences. It didn't use to be like this but B was loosing his grip on his humanity and it’s Tim’s job to bring it back.
It’s hilarious because he’s the least human of them all. It was odd, juggling his duties as Danny Gotham, his responsibilities as Tim, and his workload as Bruce’s shiny new Robin. Somehow he made it work.
Yeah, sometimes B’s hands are heavy when they’re training. Sometimes he forgets Danny’s name (or at least his human name) and calls for Jason instead. Sometimes, he smells more like booze and less like Bruce.
Danny could handle it. Even if his core quivers with grief. He wished he didn’t have to, but he could and will handle whatever he needs to for his Knight to regain himself. But fuck, that doesn’t mean taking his self destructive habits lying down. He might be Tim right now, but as far as Batman knew, Tim was here on the orders of
“B.”
“Hm.”
Oh, a neutral grunt! I see we’ve upgraded to grunts instead of arm flapping! Holy detective, Batman! Aren’t I glad I learned to speak cave man? Wow! Tim mocked, in his head.
“You’re heading to bed when I’m done with this set,” Tim said.
“This case isn’t done,” Batman growled. Ancients, it was like speaking to a large chihuahua-toddler hybrid. All the barking, all the growling, and all the petulance of a child makes the entirety of how his Knight acted on a good day these days.
“That wasn’t a suggestion,” Tim shot back, sore arms and legs and everything working through the set. Thank the ancients for his healing, or else Tim might actually be dying.
“You don’t give me orders, Robin.”
“No, but Gotham does.” He would know, considering Tim was Gotham.
The head full of greasy- ew, take a shower, B!- hair swiveled towards him.
“You have a direct line to Gotham?”
Tim settled into the final forms of the night. “Gotham sent me. I thought we went over this.”
A beat of silence.
Batman returned to clacking away at the computer. Tim finished his set in relative peace. He moved to the cool down stretches while Batman sulked in front of his computer like a five year old.
“I’m done.” He said, crossing his arms.
“Hm.”
“That means you’re done, too.”
“I’m not tired.”
Tim rolled his eyes so hard, he thinks he saw the light. Oh, wait, that’s just Bruce’s last brain cell dying.
“You’re heading to bed. Good luck finding actual crime tomorrow, if you stay up.”
Batman stilled, because he knows Gotham would back Tim up on the threat. Considering the time sensitivity of some of these cases, Gotham’s anger is not something he could risk.
Tim patted himself on the back for effectively playing the good cop and the bad cop on his own. Except ACAB for life because they’re vigilantes and the GCPD as a whole (with exceptions) sucks ass.
He watched as Batman- as Bruce- reluctantly powered down the Bat-Computer. As he stood up, Tim wrinkled his nose.
“Never mind. You take a shower first. I’ll text Alfred.”
“Not necessary.”
“Okay, then you can explain to Gotham why you’re traipsing through his city looking a starved rat and smelling like you took a joy ride in Killer Croc’s excrement. Oh, wait.” Tim snapped, just about done being patient today. Tim whipped out his phone, texting Alfred with one hand and pointing towards the staircase with the other.
“Shower above ground, you weird little mole rat. No cave water for you.”
Bruce makes a weird offended grunt.
“I literally don’t care if you have to walk up to your room to shower in your boxers, B. Most of Gotham’s people don’t have access to a shower, let alone a million dollar bathroom. Fucking use your actual bathroom instead of hosing off.”
And with that, Batman and Bruce Wayne moved to the tune of a pre-teen, who was also, unknowingly to him, the spirit of his City.
——
“Go home.”
Tim smiled sweetly. Bruce paled. The scary, Gotham loved child patted Bruce’s hand as he sat beside Bruce’s bed.
“Sleep, before I make you.”
Bruce slammed his eyelids shut, anything to not look at Tim’s malicious looking eyes, and allowed himself- nay, forced himself- to rest for the first time in weeks since Jason died.
As Bruce’s dumb self drifted off to dreamland, Tim muttered, “Wuss.”
He settled himself into the chair, napping lightly to make sure Bruce doesn’t sneak out to work when he’s gone.
Alfred snapped a quick picture.
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madthetruemad · 4 days ago
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Hi hi! It’s your tenant living in your asks box again. I saw that your requests were open. Could I request a mafia boss!Jing yuan with a reader who his men kidnapped by mistake. Like they thought she was the daughter of some politician who wronged them so they kidnapped her by mistake. I imagine Jing yuan would go:
“you know too much, but I would hate to kill you…be my wife?”
I think mafia!Jing yuan would be a manipulative person so he would have his men try to intimidate reader so he could swoop in and save her, kinda like a good cop bad cop and he’s her knight in shining armor.
Song inspo: shameless by Camila cabello
As always, have a nice day <333 and it’s fine if you don’t fulfill the request immediately or you’re uncomfortable with writing this.
There's not a lot that makes me uncomfortable. In fact, there was one instance that made me drop my phone. It was when I was talking with someone on here (they were telling me about their oc and who they ship their oc with) and then they started talking about kinks all of the sudden and sent me collar and leash pictures without any warning whatsoever and even asked me to pick a color and style of collar and leash 😭
Point is, talking about kinks isn't what makes me uncomfortable, it's asking me to pick a color and style for the collar and leash while sending me pictures of said things
MOVING ON I'm cool with talking and writing about anything just don't send me pictures of ... stuff
For clarification, the pictures you send are fine cause they are like normal and cute, you know? And I genuinely like seeing the jy merch you collect and the jy pictures you send
Sorry for the rant... 😔
side note, I love that song! I listened to it yesterday!!!
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Mafia Boss!Jing Yuan x Reader
cw; reader is referred to with she/her pronouns
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“This isn’t her, you idiot!”
“H- huh? But- but- look at her hair! It’s the same color and style as the daughter’s!”
“Yeah, but daughter is fifteen years old! Does this look like a fifteen year old to you?!”
“No…”
“Right! You just kidnapped a college student! From a college campus! With her college book bag as she was leaving her college class going to the college bus where she will most likely go to her car with what she uses to go to what? College!”
The man who was yelling slapped his hands to his face in defeat, he didn’t know what he was going to do. If they let you then the cops will be on them and the boss already got them off the first time…
“Ok, so I messed up, what are we going to do now?”
The man looked to the one who messed up and then at the door to the room that you were being held in.
“We’ll just have to get rid of her. Hide her body some where and chalk it up to a college student dropping out and running away from her problems.”
“Will the news even believe that?”
“College students have done worse to get out of their studies.”
The man (we’ll call him Dave), grabbed his gun while the one who messed up (he’ll be nicknamed Charlie), followed after him.
“We’ll shoot her in the head to make it quick,” Dave said as Charlie nodded in confirmation.
Opening the door, however, they were greeted with a different sight.
You were already out of your restraints and laughing at some stupid joke, and their boss was sitting with you and smiling in such a way that was unknown to them.
“B- boss?!”
Dave was quick to holster his gun and hide it beneath his jacket.
Jing Yuan’s gaze shifted to the two men, his smile turning into one that was a bit more strained. Oh, they were in trouble.
“Boys, this lovely lady here was just telling me all that has happened to her in the past few hours, to ease her trouble mind I let her out of her restraints and even told her a few jokes to pass the time until you both came back in here.”
“Listen boss, we-,” but Charlie cut himself off with one sharp look from Jing Yuan. His words dying within his throat in milliseconds as he shrunk a little under Jing Yuan’s scrutinizing gaze.
“This mistake will not happen again,” Jing Yuan said as he stood up and held his hand out for you which you found yourself happily taking. Leaving this room with Jing Yuan definitely beat staying in it.
“Yes sir,” the two mumbled as you both passed them by.
“Thank you again, Mr-“
“There is no need for formalities,” he said as he led you up some stairs and away from the dark rooms that you were held in.
You nodded as you continued to hold his hand, “I- I know that you are probably not a good person in the eyes of the law and everything, but- but I promise not to say anything-“
He hushed you gently as he led you down another hall, this one a bit more brightly lit than the other one.
“I’m afraid that isn’t possible.”
“But why-“
He stopped then, making you stop with him as he turned to look down at you. His free hand came up to grab your chin and make you loop up at him. His thumb slowly moving to press against your lips as his eyes lingered there for a moment before flicking up to meet your eyes.
“Because I have many enemies, my dear, and the moment you’re seen leaving and it’s not in a body bag, then I’m afraid you’ll just become a target and hunted down by people who will torture you for information you do not have.”
What he was saying was scaring you, but what you didn’t know was that Jing Yuan was both resourceful and influential. If he wanted to, then he could make it seem like you were invisible as you left his headquarters, but he wouldn’t let you know that.
“So what- I’m supposed to stay here? What about my school? My friends and family?”
“Oh, I’m not saying that those things are being taken from you. In fact, you’re free to go back to your classes and visit friends and family anytime you want once we make sure it’s safe. However, with that in mind, you’ll also be affiliated with me.”
He stopped pressing his thumb to your lips and tugged your chin and you hand he was holding at the same time, forcing you two be even closer to him.
“Affiliated how?”
“News around the town is already saying how you’re my wife, and to better protect you, we might as well make those rumors a reality.”
“Your what?!”
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imagineredwood · 9 months ago
Note
Daddy Yandere Chibs with A? Number 3?
I have a HUNGER for Daddy!!!
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Summary: Chibs has honored your foolish wishes for a separation for the last month, but you still haven't come to your senses yet, so it's time for Daddy to bring you back home; by any means necessary.
Warnings: ...it's a yandere drabble 🧍🏻‍♀️ So stalking, manipulation, what could be perceived as emotional abuse because of the manipulation. As always, these are just for fun, not to be taken as a healthy or safe relationship. No means no and turning up at someone's work when they don't want you to or anywhere they're at for that matter is creepy af in real life!! Also daddy kink. I wrote it with somewhat of a big age gap in mind but it doesn't have to be read like that 💕
Also just as a reminder, since dark content isn’t for everyone, I don’t use the regular tag lists for these, only specific taglist for those who want to read the darker content. I wouldn’t want to expose someone that didn’t want to read it. So if you DO want to be tagged, let me know
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"You shouldn't be here. This is my workplace. I don't have time for this."
Chibs didn't flinch as you rejected him, his stance relaxed as he leaned against the wall of your breakroom. He'd been dying to see you. He'd given you the space you had asked for, knowing that of course that wasn't what you truly wanted. But he'd given it to you anyway. You would see soon enough that being apart from him wasn't actually what you wanted at all. Yet it was going on a month now, and he had decided that enough was enough.
So he'd ridden over to your job to get you back and now here you were, acting as if you were simply too busy to speak to the man who had loved and protected you these last few years.
"Oh course ya do, Lass. You're on break. You've got,"
He made a show of looking down at his watch and calculating.
"Got 24 minutes left of break, I reckon."
You swallowed dryly, realizing that he did have a point. You took your break at the same time every day. You'd used that break to talk to him on the phone most days. Of course, he would remember. So you tried a different tactic.
"How did you even get in here? It's employees only back here."
The Son nodded, eyes warm as they regarded you, a hint of playful ridicule there as well.
"I've lived in this town a long while, love. Longer than you. All I had to do was ask."
He pulled off the wall then, standing at his full height, taking each slow step one at a time.
"Everyone knows me here. Knows us. All that yellin' about me being so controlling, yet you didn't tell your work to keep me out?"
You gulped as he stalked toward you, eyes on you every second.
"Didn't put me on some kinda list? Didn't tell them that if they saw me to call the cops? None of that?"
You stared at him as your heart pounded in your chest. He wouldn't hurt you; never. But you wouldn't put it past him to somehow manipulate you and the situation into ending with you giving him another chance. All if would take is the feeling of his hands, warm and loving as they caressed you, and your resolve would fall apart. And he knew as much.
You took one more step back and bumped against the wall, the giant silver fridge blocking you on one side, and Chibs arm coming up to block the other. You whimpered, willing yourself to be strong as the scent of leather, cologne, and cigarette smoke flooded your senses. It all smelled just exactly as you remembered and you ached for him, the stone you'd fortified around your heart beginning to crumble.
"Even with all the arguments and disagreements, you know you've always been safest with me. Safe, and at home. You've proven your point. It's time for you to come home with Daddy now, yeah?"
You hesitated for a moment before your head was nodding slowly of its own volition. The Son clicked his teeth and offered you a smile then, eyes trailing down your front. He brought a ringed finger up and traced down the valley of your breasts, eyes raking over you how a lion would a gazelle. His voice was low when he spoke again.
"Twenty minutes left."
"Huh?"
The sentence threw you off, your break no longer on your mind as you looked at him.
"You've got twenty minutes left before they start looking for you, so I've got time. You look delicious. I won't stop until I've tasted every bite."
Dark fiction taglist 
@whitetxilwxlf @kikijackson-blog @ben-c-group-therapy @ravennaortiz @mama-mischief
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i-wanna-write · 9 months ago
Text
I loved you - Billy Russo x castlesister!reader
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Prompt: Billy doesn’t want to die alone. You make sure he doesn’t.
Warnings: Some cuss words. Mentions of blood. ANGST!! All of it angst!
Disclaimer: I got this photo of Google.
Word count: 1518
A/N: not my longest but definitely my saddest if I do say so myself.
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“Hello?” The voice answers the phone.
“Curtis?” Billy croaks out. “Curt-Curtis.”
Billy is met with silence. He’s currently sprawled out on the floor, his back leaning against the wall. Everything hurts. His now healed scars. His head. The bullet wounds to his abdomen. His heart.
“I’m hurt.” Billy adds. “I’m hurt really bad.”
“Where are you?” Curtis questions.
“I’m bleeding all over your basement.” Billy says humorously, letting out a choked laugh.
His breaths are labored. The blood pooling in his lungs can almost be heard through the phone. He’s been in pain before, but nothing ever like this.
“I’m dying.” He reveals. “I’m dying Curt. Will you call Y/N?”
Silence is again heard. His shirt is drenched in blood and sweat. Growing up he was always a pretty boy. That notion caused him many nightmares and scars both physical and mental. But then he met you. His best friend's sister.
You saw behind his good looks and charm and loved him for it. Loved him for all his demons. For his sense of humor, his fierce protectiveness, and his loyal love. You loved him for all the good in him, despite all the bad
“P-promise me you-you won’t call the cops at least. Can you do that? Can you do that?” Billy begs, wincing again in pain.
“I promise I won’t call the cops.” Curtis vows.
“I know I probably don’t deserve it after what I’ve done.” Billy pauses. “But if you can find it in yourself to be a brother one last time, please, call Y/N. I don’t wanna die alone. I don’t -“
The pain cuts Billy off as it intensifies, the phone sliding down his chest as he can no longer hold it. He sits there, alone. He’s done, seen, and experienced so many things in his life. But all those decisions and experiences have led him to this movement - dying alone.
————————————————————
“Curtis?” You question as you answer your phone.
“The basement of the church. I’m giving you a 15 minute head start then I call Frank.”
The phone clicks off and all you hear after that is a dial tone. You’re filled with dread, knowing what the Curtis is talking about. You know why he wants you to go to the church. And you definitely know why he’s calling you before Frank.
Still filled with dread, you grab your gun and jacket before heading out your apartment door.
————————————————————
You walk down the stairs to the basement and enter it, freezing immediately at the sight in front of you.
Sitting on the ground with his back leaning against the wall is Billy Russo.
Otherwise known as the man you loved, and the man that is responsible for the murder of your brother's family.
His clothes are filthy and covered in blood. His face is pale, causing his most recent scars to be more prominent. You see his chest rise and fall in sharp breaths, his hands are over his abdomen where blood seems to be spilling out of.
“Billy?” You questions, walking toward the figure.
His head snaps towards you and your E/C matche with bloodshot.
“Y-Y/N.” Billy breathes out. “Curt called you. You’re here.”
You walk closer to him, many feelings rushing you. Concern. Sadness. This is a man you loved - and maybe still love - for so many years of your life. Who’s been by your side for everything you’ve been through. Seeing him hurt, this broken, makes you feel the same.
But you also feel anger. This man lied, betrayed, and broke you. He tried to murder your brother and it resulted in the death of your sister-in-law and niece and nephew. When you found out the truth, your heart was ripped out and you wanted vengeance - just like your brother.
Now you don’t know what you want.
“Yeah, I’m here.” You say, standing to his left side, sighing to yourself.
You take a seat beside him and press your hands over his bloody ones and pull them away. You see the source, a bullet wound with blood gushing out. You guide his hands back to where they were and let go.
“What the hell did you do Billy?” You question, pulling your hands away and and rising one cup his cheek, turning his face towards you.
“I’m dying sweetheart.” Billy states, his face grimacing in pain.
“I know.” You state, rubbing your finger over his cheek.
Billy’s breaths are coming out hard, his breath brushing onto your face.
“I didn’t wanna be alone.” He states, tears in his eyes.
You nod, swallowing a sob as tears enter your eyes.
“I’m here.” You tell him.
One of his bloodied hands comes up and rests over yours. You see the fear in his eyes. He's been alone his whole life but found solace in you and your brother. In your brother's family.
A family he’s responsible for the murder for.
“I fucked up.” Billy starts, eyes staring into yours. “I-I thought if I had more money, more success, you’d love me more. You’d never leave me. I couldn’t see that you never would have. I - I thought I could get away with it. That you wouldn’t find out what I did. And nothing I say can-“
“Billy.” You cut his rambling off as tears freely fall from your face. “Don’t think about that.”
You didn’t want to hear his reason behind it. How he thought you didn’t, couldn’t, love him enough. That he thought if he was richer, more successful, you’d finally accept it. You can’t reason how he couldn’t see that you accepted him from the moment you saw him.
It seems he was thinking of that moment too.
“I remember when I first saw you.” He says, his voice a whisper. “The gun range Frank brought me to. Your hair was pulled back, a black tank top, and camo pants with combat boots. But I didn’t see your beauty first. I saw you hit every target. 800m away and you were able to hit them like they were nothing.”
You remember that day. While Frank joined the marines, you joined the police force and eventually rose in the ranks, joining SWAT. You took pride in having your teams back and being a sharpshooter. You enjoyed the challenge of shooting a target, whether it be moving or far away.
“When you turned and I saw your face, I was done for. You looked nothing like Frankie’s ugly mug.”
You laugh at that statement through your tears because it was the truth. Despite being his full blooded younger sister, you looked nothing like Frank.
“And you looked nothing like a marine.” You state, hand letting his face go to run it over his hair. “Hair probably longer than regulation and dressed way too nice for a shooting range. But you proved me wrong, being the best damn sniper I’ve seen.”
“One thing you’re terrible at.” Billy couches out, laughing slightly.
“The guns just never liked me.” You state. Happy to see a smile on his face.
“I love you Y/N.” Billy suddenly whispers, the subject changed. “You showed me how to love myself. And I’m going to love you forever.”
You don’t have time to respond as a noise is heard towards the entrance of the basement. You both look up, Billy not knowing who will enter while you’ve been waiting for him.
Your brother walks in. Frank Castle. The Punisher. Dressed in jeans and boots donned with a light jacket over his shirt. His face is a dark black and blue, evidence of the day before’s previous fight.
You sigh. Knowing time is up. The man you loved has been gone since the day he planned to murder your brother. Since the day he caused your brother's family to be murdered. Left was an imposter. Someone who put on a façade and pretended everything was right and as it should be
You run your hand through his short hair one more time. You missed his long locks, how a piece would fall onto his forehead every now and again and you’d pull at it to tease him. You swallow and raise, walking over to your brother who now stands in front of Billy
“Frankie.” Billy says, laughter leaving him.
The laughs quickly become coughs, blood leaving his mouth.
Billy shakes his head, surprisingly showing laughter in his eyes. “You don’t look so good.”
Frank stares at Billy. Eyes full of hate. Hate towards the man that caused his sister so much heartache. Hate to the man who tried to kill him. Hate to the man who is responsible for his wife, his children’s, deaths.
“Of course it’s you.” Billy states. “I should’ve known.”
Frank doesn’t say a word. He reaches into the back of his jeans and pulls out his gun. Silencer on and now aimed, Frank glances at you, silently asking if there’s anything else you need to say or do.
“I loved you too.” You breathe out, a sob escaping you as tears rush down your face.
With that, Frank pulls the trigger.
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musings-of-a-rose · 1 year ago
Text
Falling Slowly Chapter 6
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Pairing: Tommy Miller x f!reader
Word Count: 4000+
Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!
Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 
Notes: This chapter will be entirely from Tommy’s pov. It’s also bringing in a Joel story I’ve been dying to write.
**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!
❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)
**Divider made by @benkeibear 
**Reader is not described
Main Masterlist
Falling Slowly Masterlist
Tommy Miller Masterlist
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&lt;<;Chapter 5<<
Tommy rubs his wrists as the officer unlocks his cuffs, gesturing to the phone on the wall. 
"You get one call. 3 minutes."
Tommy nods and picks up the phone, hesitating a moment before dialing his brother's number.
“Hello?”
“Joel, it’s me. Uh, I’m ok.”
“Yeah?”
“But I’m in jail.”
“Goddammit.”
A little offended, Tommy defends himself. “Wasn’t my fault this time. I was at the bar, some guy goes crazy, starts swingin’ at a waitress, I stepped in, knocked him out, cops show up-” The din from the other room gets louder, like people are fighting almost. Look, it doesn’t matter. You gotta bail me out.”
“Now?”
“It’s Friday, you don’t get me out tonight, I’m in here all weekend. It’s a fuckin’ madhouse, Joel. I gotta get out.”
“Well, which jail? Travis County?”
“Yeah, on 10th.”
“Goddammit Tommy.”
“I’m sorry….Please?”
“Ok.” Joel hangs up after that and Tommy stares at the receiver for a moment, hoping that his brother shows up fast.
It's when he waits for Joel that Tommy really sees it. The way people are behaving oddly, just like the man in the bar, lunging at people or twitching. Some of the officers' hands shake as they restrain them, their heads moving from side to side as if trying to clear their minds of a fog. Something is happening, what specifically he can't say. But something is very wrong. All he knows is he has to get Daisy and Jax and get out of town with Joel and Sarah and Rose, if Joel wants that? Maybe to the cabin? Would Joel even believe him? 
Just then an officer opens the cell, his hands shaking and fumbling with the keys, dropping them a couple of times before he jams them into the lock and pulls the door open. Tommy quickly walks past the officer, who's now shaking his head and walks down the hall towards the front desk. He sees Joel standing there, his arms crossed and a hard look on his face. 
"I thought you were done with this shit, Tommy."
"We have to get out of here."
Joel snorts. "No shit. You think I want to spend my night here?"
Tommy looks at his brother, holding his gaze. "No, we have to leave. Somethin' isn't right."
"What-"
Screams and gunfire echo down the hall from where Tommy just was, obvious signs of multiple people fighting. Joel looks at Tommy and nods towards the front door as the desk officer draws her gun and moves down the hallway, her screams cut off by the door closing behind Joel. 
Outside isn't any better. People are running, screaming down the street while other people chase them, pushing them down and…biting their necks? No. Kissing them? No, their lips aren't touching. 
The window from a store front next to Tommy breaks, glass shattering all over the road as a person falls from the store, gashes covering their body as they jerk and twist. Suddenly, their, no, her head jerks up and she looks at them, something long and like tendrils sliding out of her mouth just as an inhuman sound comes from her throat, her body launching at the men.
"Shit!" Tommy yells as he moves from her way, her body crashing to the floor momentarily before popping back up. 
"Move!" Joel yells and Tommy runs after him, heading towards his truck at the end of the street. Joel reaches it first, just as Tommy feels her fingers close around his shirt, pulling him to the ground. She straddles him, leaning her head towards his, the tendrils sliding from her mouth, reaching towards him, trying to pull her mouth closer to his as Tommy slams his mouth shut, desperately trying to shove her off him. 
CLUNK!
A large wrench slams into the side of her head and she flies off Tommy, landing on the sidewalk, her body no longer moving. His chest is heaving as he gasps for air, Joel shoving his hand in his face to help him up. 
"We gotta go!" He tosses the keys to Tommy who hops in, starting up the truck and taking off the second Joel closes his door, another one of those things pounding on the window, tendrils pressing up against it. 
"Take 42nd to Palm and cut through that alley." 
Tommy nods to his brother, his eyes glued to the road where people are running around, trying to avoid getting pounced on. He makes it to the shortcut, his tires screeching down the alley as he heads toward the neighborhood where he and Joel live. 
"We'll grab Sarah first since we're up first."
Tommy nods. "Be quick, Joel. I have to get to Daisy and Jax."
But as they pull up to the dark street, they see Sarah running from the neighbor's house, a look of pure terror on her face. Tommy pulls up and Joel jumps out, his wrench in his hand as an old lady runs from the house Sarah just left, tripping over the stairs.
"Get in the truck!" Joel yells at Sarah as the old lady gets up. She grunts, running at them as Tommy moves from around the truck. 
"What are we doing here Joel?"
Joel tightened his grip and swung, hitting the lady square in the face, her body hitting the ground. 
"You just killed her!" Sarah gasps from behind Joel. He turns to her, kneeling a bit to her level. 
"It's not just here. We have to be strong, ok?" She nods, hopping in the back as they jump in, the truck roaring to life as Tommy speeds off down the road towards his house. 
They pull up and Tommy's stomach jumps to his throat. The front door is wide open, the plants on the front steps knocked over, dirt splattered across the ground. 
"Fuck," Joel whispers under his breath. "Sarah, stay in the car and do not come out. Do you understand?"
"Y-yes." 
Tommy opens his door, fingers trembling as a thousand horrible images cross his mind of what may lay inside the home he and Daisy had created. He tightens his grip on the shotgun he grabbed from his backseat, Joel sliding into a position behind him to cover him as they tentatively step inside. 
The room is a mess. Furniture is upturned, frames dangling on the wall, broken glass scattered across the floor, the lights flickering as the lamp desperately tries to stay lit. But as they step towards the kitchen and the main stairwell, Tommy has to swallow down a wail, panic seeping through his veins and threatening to take over his mind, his body turning cold. 
"Is that…blood?" Joel whispers, coming up beside Tommy, looking down at the dark puddle on the ground. 
Tommy nods, not trusting his own voice as he rounds the corner, his shotgun weighing heavier in his hands. No one is in the kitchen, cups clattered on the floor, some drawers pulled out and silverware scattered across the floor. 
Tommy then turns to the stairs leading to the bedrooms upstairs. Joel claps his hand on his shoulder, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of "You got this?"
Tommy nods, flexing his fingers against the wood of the shotgun and turns his gaze towards the stairs, slowly ascending them and taking a double step so as not to step on the creaky stair he'd promised Daisy he would fix months ago. His throat tightens thinking of her and he prays to whatever is listening that she's ok. That Jax is ok. 
He makes it to the top of the stairs, more things scattered about the floor up here too and turns to Jax's room, his door half open. Toys are scattered about the floor, his lamp over turned and the room nearly pitch black. He swears he hears a small shuffle from the back of his closet and he swallows hard, terrified of what it could mean. He grips the gun tighter, taking a deep breath. 
"Jax? It's Daddy."
There's a moment of silence, Tommy's stomach churning with every second as hope fades from him. But then the closet door bursts open and Jax jumps out, his arms outstretched towards his dad. 
"DADDY!" 
Tommy drops to his knees, quickly setting the shotgun on the floor and opens his arms, Jax throwing his own tiny ones around his neck, little tears streaming down his face as Tommy embraces him, his own tears falling freely.
"I am so glad to see you, little man! Are you ok?" Reluctantly, Tommy disentangles Jax from him and he looks at him. Nothing seems to be off about him other than the fact he was terrified. 
"I ok, daddy."
"I'm so happy to hear that, little man. You were hiding and waiting for us?" 
Jax's eyes go distant as he remembers, nodding his head. "Mommy said to hide and wait for you or Uncle Joel if she not come back."
Tommy's heart races at the mention of Daisy. "Jax, look at me." He turns his face up and looks up at his Dad, fear blowing his pupils wide. "Where's mommy?"
Jax is quiet for several moments before he speaks and Tommy almost misses it with how softly he talks. 
"Mrs. Johnson was being mean to mommy."
Tommy feels himself go cold, blood rushing, heart pumping as fear floods his system. He tries hard to swallow down his fear for Jax. "What, uh, what happened?"
"Mommy woke me up. Said to hide in my best hiding spot. Not to come out until daddy or Uncle Joel or mommy come to get him. That if I do, if I stay really quiet, I win the game. But…" His eyes flick behind Tommy at the door, the door that had been half open when they came upstairs. 
"Jax it's OK. You're safe."
Jax looks back at Tommy, eyes watering with fear. "Someone hit on my door. Mommy saw me hide. Took my..r..Rangers bat. She open the door and Mrs. Johnson…" He glances at the door again before looking down at his feet. "She was doing doggy sounds and chasing mommy. But not like when we play. She tried to bite mommy."
"Did she bite her?"
Jax thinks for a moment. "No."
Tommy lets out a puff of air. That's at least something good. "Where did they go?"
"Mommy ran out the door. She made a lot of noise. Mrs. Johnson chase her. I hear sounds from downstairs but then quiet. Then daddy get me. I win, daddy?"
Tommy pulls Jax in to his chest, hugging him tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Yeah, bud. You win."
Joel clears his throat. "Tommy, we gotta go. We can't stay here."
"I can't leave Daisy. I can't, I-"
"Tommy." Joel speaks in his stern brother voice. "We have to keep the kids safe. Daisy wouldn't want you to risk Jax-"
Anger floods Tommy, heating his face, a rushing sound in his ears as he stands quickly, taking Jax with him. "How the fuck would you know what she wants?"
"Because she's a mom! How pissed would she be if something happened while we were lookin' and waitin' for her?"
He's pissed. So pissed but mostly because his brother is right. Daisy would skin him alive if something happened to Jax while they were looking for her. 
"I… I can't…"
Joel grips his shoulder. "We'll go to the cabin still. It would be a safe place to hunker down. Leave her a note or somethin' but we have to go. Now." 
Tommy nods, succumbing to his brother's order. They all head back downstairs, Tommy grabbing the pad of paper and pen that they always kept near the phone. He quickly scribbled a note to Daisy, telling her they had Jax and were heading to the cabin and to meet there. He ended it with an I love you, taking a shuddering breath as he sets the note on the table, Sarah placing Daisy's backpack next to it, the one she had packed last night in preparation for their weekend trip. While he wrote, Jax had grabbed his own little pack and Joel grabbed any food he could carry from the cabinets, tossing it into some grocery bags that were stored under the sink. 
They all head to the front door, Joel doing a quick scan of the area before they silently move back towards the truck. Tommy takes one last look inside, speaking quietly while saying an internal prayer. 
"Please be ok, Daisy."
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The highway is blocked, everyone having the same idea as them. They cut across a field, intending to take a shortcut through town, but then chaos erupts. People pour from a movie theater, yelling, screaming, biting, and then Sarah yelling from the back seat before the sound of a plane crashing, way too close for comfort. And then his world flips, goes dark for a brief moment before Tommy wakes, upside down, the sounds of terror from the street quickly roaring back to life. 
"DADDY!"
Jax's scream wakes him from his stupor, spurring him into action. He quickly undoes his belt, seeing Joel stir next to him. 
"You ok, man?" Tommy asks as he drops to the roof, which is now the floor, with a grunt. 
"M' fine. Sarah!"
"I'm stuck!"
Tommy sees Joel hit the roof and scramble out to get Sarah. Tommy does the same, whipping out his pocket knife and cutting Jax loose from the car seat Sarah had buckled him into when they left. He grabs him before he hits the floor and pulls him from the truck, faintly registering Sarah whimpering as Joel pulls her from the truck, another car slamming into it a moment later. Jax screams and buries his face in Tommy's neck, his little backpack somehow clutched in his tiny fist. 
The truck is on fire and Tommy steps back, quickly grabbing up the shotgun that had slid from the truck when it had flipped. He looks over the hood at Joel, cradling Sarah in his arms but blocked in the alley. 
"Go! Meet up at the river. Get her out of here, Joel!"
Tommy tightens his grip on Jax. "Keep your eyes closed, bud. Hold tight. I've got you."
He runs, his eyes on everyone and everything as they make their way down a few blocks before cutting down a side street. Mercifully, none of the things seem to notice them, too caught up in the chaos of the street and they make it around the edge of buildings and towards the river. But then he sees them, Joel cradling Sarah and pleading with a soldier who has his gun fixed on them. He quietly sets Jax down, who seems to sense the seriousness of the situation, and flattens himself to the ground, just like he does when they play soldiers. 
Tommy raises the shotgun and takes a few steps. But then he hears a shot ring out and sees Joel and Sarah go down, the soldier stomping up to Joel, who's raising his hands, pleading, begging, telling the man they aren't sick. Without hesitation, Tommy clears the last step to put him in a decent range and pulls the trigger, the soldier instantly going down. Joel looks up at him, gratitude on his face. But Tommy doesn't see it. All he sees is Sarah, blood covering her shirt as she gasps on the ground. 
"Oh God."
Joel snaps his head around and sees her, rushing towards his daughter. Tommy feels Jax hold onto his leg as Joel screams to Tommy for help. But what is he going to do? He has no medical training and he doubts the med pack on the soldier would do much-
"MOVE!" 
In her element, Rose comes from nowhere, her shoulder jamming into Joel to move him aside as she expertly moves her hands over Sarah, ripping her shirt open. She confidently gives some orders to Joel, who takes a second to respond. 
"Joel!"
He shakes his head and moves, doing exactly as she says when she says. 
"Tommy! Bring me his med kit," Rose nods towards the fallen soldier.  
In one swift movement, Tommy scoops up Jax and runs as fast as he can to the soldier, patting down his body until he finds the kit, yanking it from his vest. 
"Tommy!"
"Joel, here!" Tommy tosses the kit to him, Joel catches it and rips it open, doing exactly what Rose says, while also trying to keep Sarah calm. But as he watches her work, Tommy knows there's no way she will be able to save Sarah with just a field patch kit. He glances down at the soldier, his walkie dangling from his shoulder and an idea occurs to him. He kneels, picking up the walkie and pressing the button, waiting a moment to talk. 
"Soldier down, over!"
A moment passes before the static sound of someone picking up echoes across the small lot. "What's your position, over?"
"Back by the river. Murkmire street. Over."
"Stand by. We'll be there in 2, over."
There's nothing left to do but watch and pray that Sarah makes it not just for him and Jax, but for Joel. Especially for Joel. Tommy doesn't want to think about what would happen to Joel if Sarah…
"Daddy, is Sarah ok?"
Tommy looks down at Jax tucked into his side, his eyes wide and worried and it breaks his heart how much trauma Jax has had to see in the last few hours. 
"I don't know, bud."
He nods, looking over towards her. "Rose is good doctor. She will help Sarah be better."
"I hope so, little man." 
Tommy keeps an eye on the perimeter as Rose races to keep Sarah alive. After the longest 2 minutes of his life, Tommy sees the army truck pull around the corner, stopping just short of the soldier and Tommy. They jump out, raising their weapons to Tommy, who raises the shotgun in the air before slowly setting it down. 
"Back up!"
Tommy does as he says, keeping his free hand in the air while the soldier moves towards their fallen man. But before he can say anything, Rose’s voice booms across the short distance.
“He’s gone. I couldn’t save him. But she can still be saved if you get us to med.”
The soldiers blink, staring down the several feet towards Rose, whose hand is now buried inside Sarah’s stomach, literally holding her life in her hands. They raise their guns towards them too but Rose just shakes her head. 
“None of us are bit. She was shot. I need you to take me to med so I can save her.”
The soldiers look nervously from one to another before their leader replies. 
“I’ll have to call this in.”
“Can you call it in while we’re en route?”
The soldier thinks for a moment. “How do I know if you’re telling the truth?”
“You can shoot us if we aren’t. But we have to do this now.”
The soldier hesitates for one more moment, glancing down at Sarah, who’s head was starting to loll from side to side as Joel speaks to her, trying to keep her conscious. 
“Alright. Pull the truck around and help her load up. Do as she says when loading, I don’t want blood all over the back.”
“Yes sir!”
Everyone springs into action and before Tommy can even blink, they’re all loaded in the back of the army truck, racing towards the temporary medical camp they had erected at a nearby clinic. They whisk Sarah and Rose away, Joel not allowed to follow his daughter back to the quarantined rooms. Soldiers have to beat him back, but Tommy steps forward, Jax still clutched to his side. 
“I got him! Joel. Joel! Look at me.”  
Joel spins and looks at his brother, his eyes wild as he focuses on him. 
"Hey man. If anyone here can save her, Rose can. But you gotta stay here. Keep out of her way. That's how you can help her. Ok?"
Joel's eyes are hard, but then he nods, crumbling to the floor. Tommy joins him, Joel clinging to his shirt as he cries for his daughter, Jax's little fist twisting into Joel's shirt as he tries to hug his broad shoulders. They stay like that for a while, Joel eventually settling, accepting Jax as he crawls into his lap, hugging onto his neck. Just when Tommy was about to go find some food, the doors open and another doctor walks out and over to them. 
"Millers?"
Joel jumps to his feet and Tommy reaches over to take Jax, who had fallen asleep. 
"Is she ok? Is my daughter…"
"She's alive. Thanks to that doctor she came with. If it wasn't for her, she wouldn't have made it."
Joel lets out a puff of air, silent tears falling down his cheeks. "Can I see her?"
"Yes. Follow me."
They follow the doctor through some doors and then she's there, so small and frail looking on a makeshift stretcher bed, Rose next to her holding her hand while Sarah sleeps. As soon as Joel walks in she stands, motioning to Joel to take her place, which he does, immediately holding Sarah's hand. 
"I'm here, baby girl. I'm here." His eyes are only for Sarah, but he reaches out and grips Rose's arm. "Thank you."
"Of course. We'll talk later. For now, let her rest. And you get rest too, ok? Doctor's orders." She kisses the top of his head and gives his hand a small squeeze before walking towards the door. 
"Are you guys ok? Where's Daisy?" 
Tommy can feel his face harden. "She's not with us. I'm not sure where she is."
Rose nods. "I'm sure we'll find her. There's no way she would let anything keep her from you guys."
"Thanks, Rose."
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3 weeks. 3 weeks have gone by since the world went to shit and the last time he'd seen her. The love of his life, the mother of his son.
Daisy. 
Sarah was healing fast and well, even able to walk around the clinic several times before needing a break. She was eating and it was apparent that her wound was not going to affect her eating. 
But Tommy, while ecstatic for his niece, was more than antsy. He was sick in his stomach at the thought of Daisy being out there alone. He couldn't think about the alternative, so he focused on that, convinced she had gone to the cabin like they'd said to do in the note. 
"I have to go find her, Joel."
Joel looks up from where he sits. "You just gonna walk the 150 or so miles?"
"If I have to."
"You have a responsibility here. To Jax. To us-"
"I made a vow to her, Joel! She's my wife. I need to find her!"
Joel stands facing his brother. "I know, Tommy. But you have a job here. You have to protect him."
"But-"
"I promise, as soon as we can, we will all go to the cabin to find her. Ok?" 
Tommy didn't fully believe his brother, not when there were whispers of a quarantine zone, and towns being erected by FEDRA that were supposed to be safe. He can't imagine Joel would give up safety for Sarah for his wife. But he was right - if anything happened to Jax, Daisy would straight up murder him.
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A few days later, Rose quietly comes into the room to check on Sarah, closing the door behind her, which she rarely does. She leans over Sarah, who happened to be napping with Jax snuggled up next to her. Joel immediately moves to her side, his eyes glued to Rose. 
“I think we need to leave here.” She says it so quietly, Tommy almost thinks he heard her wrong, moving closer to hear her better. 
“Leave? Why?” Joel whispers back.
She glances towards the door and back at Joel. “I’ve heard…rumors. Quarantine zones-”
“Yeah, we have too,” Tommy cuts in. Joel glares at him, silently telling him to shut up.
“Yes, but I hear that once we’re all vetted, we won’t be able to leave.”
“What?” Tommy says out loud, Joel immediately shushing him.
Rose looks from Joel to Tommy and back. “Being locked in somewhere doesn’t sound good. Not with FEDRA running the place.”
“But wouldn’t it be safe for us? For the kids?” Joel asks, his eyebrows pulling up.
Rose is quiet for a moment. “I want to say yes, but really, I don’t know. FEDRA is already controlling this place, rationing out meager supplies and I know they pocket things for themselves. They’re scrambling and I don’t want an organization in panic mode to tell me what to do.”
Joel looks down at Sarah and Jax, still peacefully sleeping on the bed. He sighs, pushing some hair from Sarah’s face before looking back at Rose.
“So we have to leave.”
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It takes them the rest of the week, but Joel and Tommy secure a car, big enough for them and some supplies. It should have enough gas to make it to the cabin, as Tommy and Joel went around siphoning gas from the surrounding cars to add to theirs. They carefully covered it with matching debris to hide it, crouching down and sneaking back under the fence to get more supplies that Rose had been tucking away all week. Medical supplies are already hard to come by and who knows what will be out there? 
Under cover of night, just after a month after the outbreak happened, Tommy, Jax, Joel, Sarah, and Rose sneak out through the hole in the fence and make their way to the stashed car, grateful that nothing bothered them en route. Mercifully, they make it out of the area mostly unscathed, only having to run over a few runners on the way out. Once they get around the parked city traffic and onto the back roads, it becomes smoother sailing, probably due to the lack of people. 
The closer they get to the cabin, the more nervous Tommy becomes. What if Daisy isn’t there? Would he really be able to leave Jax behind and go search for her? What if he never came back? Could he really live without Daisy? He gently pats the top of Jax’s head, which is currently in his lap, Sarah leaning on his shoulder completely passed out. 
The sun starts to rise when they pull down the hidden drive to the cabin, Tommy sitting up a little straighter, shifting Sarah to lean against her window and Jax against her. His eyes scan the ground for tire marks, but of course, there are none. Either Daisy was smart and covered them or the elements did. They turn a corner and the cabin comes into view, the shutters still on all of the windows, looking exactly as it had when they were here last. Tommy swallows hard, his heart is racing and he feels like he’s going to vomit, almost like he can feel hope leaving him. Joel parks the car and Tommy gets out, grabbing his gun and closing the door behind him. 
“I’ll check it out. You guys keep the kids safe. Anythin’ happens, just leave me. I’ll find you.” 
“Tommy-”
But Tommy doesn’t hear him. He doesn’t hear anything over the rush in his head, tears threatening to spill from his eyes as he sees her emerge from the house, the love of his life. 
Daisy.
>>Chapter 7>>
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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago
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Happy Tuesday wonderful Fandom :) Already 5 eps into s4. Insane. Thank you to everyone who liked, commented and reblogged my answer of my top eps meant a lot. 😊 Solid moments in this one just not a ton. This is a Lucy centric ep with one of my all time Lucy moments in it. I’ll let you read so you can find out what that is ha Off we go.
4x05 A.C.H
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I love any and all scenes we get with Tamara and Lucy. She’s such a mom to her I can not. They’re sisters but also a massive mom/daughter dynamic in there too. Lucy is making a morning smoothie and asking for blueberries. Tamara checks the fridge finding none. Lucy getting all mom-like on her. Saying she needs to put stuff on the list when she finishes it. Tamara swearing she didn’t eat them.
Lucy doesn't believe her but lets it go. Pick your battles and all that. She gets all excited about dressing up for the West Hollywood parade. Trying to get Tamara excited about it too. Lucy in such a mom mode here. I love it. Tamara is sassy by saying her suggestions suck LOL Their dynamic is so cute I love it so much though.
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They get a knock on their door interrupting their convo. It’s one of their neighbors asking if Lucy is a cop? Lucy confirms this and asks what's going on? She continues on and says she lives in 604 across from the lady she’s coming to her about. Apparently ghost hunters are trying to commit elder fraud with her neighbor. Charging her outrageous prices. Lucy handles it like the confident BAMF she is. Directing everyone involved on what to do. Gah I love that we’ve reached this stage with her. I enjoy the growth journey don’t get me wrong, but I also truly enjoy the results too. So nice to see her settled and confident. Handles this rowdy group like a pro. I'm so proud of her.
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We join everyone in roll call. A.C.H. Is written on the board. Grey is handing out candy for right answers. He asks Nolan what today is and what that acronym means? He says Halloween and doesn’t know the other half. Still expecting candy... such a putz. Harper replies correctly with ‘Anything Can Happen.’ Lucy asks what kind of crazy stuff might happen? Tim starts running down a list of things. Teenagers trying to steal kids candy, masked people running into liquor stores. Discerning if they’re late for a party or have a gun?
Grey is waiting for Tim to list one more thing. He is pre-smirking and Tim is confused af. Wade elaborates asking Tim how his uniform was torn 3 Halloween’s ago? Lucy looking perplexed as well. Poor Tim looks like he’s reliving something so uncomfortable. Like he’s seen things he shouldn’t have with that LOL
That dead behind the eyes look. Poor love. Lucy’s reaction is the best part. You know she’s enjoying his embarrassment for this. Delighting in it really. For that party it was a fair assumption i’m sure haha I mean look at the man. He’s beautiful and when they got to the yummy muscles underneath i'm sure didn’t help his case. Heh
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First off I love this cute moment of them handing out candy together to kiddos. Could they be any cuter doing this? Also you know I love the Tall/Smol shots. Look at the smiles and closeness. My heart. I can just imagine them handing out Halloween candy together now. Most likely at Tim’s house. Since he lives in a neighborhood and being this damn cute about it. Handing out candy and dressing up while doing it. *sigh* A girl can dream eh?
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Earlier in the ep before roll call Lucy got a phone call. She found out her mother has paid for her to freeze her eggs….Naturally this is upsetting to Lucy. How could It not be? Minute the kids step away Lucy goes off about it. Tim clearly not excited about this talk LOL I’m dying his reaction is too funny. Lucy is so valid in what she’s feeling though. It’s a pot shot at her. At her insecurities. Straight from her mom.
The way her mother treats her I can totally understand why she feels this way. How it looks is exactly what Lucy is venting about. Makes it seem like her mom is giving her a fail safe in case she never finds someone. Which is so damn rude but in line with her mom as person. Tim is trying to do logic instead of empathy. Thinking it’ll help her but it does not....He is looking at it with analytical eyes instead of empathetic ones. He is playing devil's advocate on this one. Telling Lucy her mom is probably just looking out for her. Knowing how busy she is. When he really shouldn't because it's her mom...
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Lucy is so offended by his POV on this. Hating him trying to justify her mother's motives. I think if this was anyone else Lucy might've considered this. But its not...it's her mom who she has a very strained relationship with. Basically trying to plan her life for her. Control some aspect of it since she has no say in Lucy's career. Also let’s also note her touching his arm while berating him LOL. No need for that madam... but she is a moth to the flame in touching him. hehe Can't say I blame her. The sassy banter here is on point as usual though. Her face after Tim says he’s not taking her side. I’m rolling. They could not be more married if they tried.
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Tim starts comparing her situation to car insurance and her clock ticking. Oh Timothy no...what are you doing my love? He is so damn insightful with her most of the time. Then is such a man in certain moments like this one. Telling her doing this appointment is just insurance. That you don't get car insurance hoping you get into an accident. The policy is just a waste of money.
That she needs to view this the same way. Might as well have her mom pay for it. Lucy does not let him get away with that though. Saying she's going to pretend he didn't just compare her fertility to a car crash LMAO Seriously the marriage vibes with this scene are off the charts. Their ‘fighting’ always bringing me such joy.
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The cuteness continues when a mom comes up asking them to help find her daughter. Her daughter was dressed as Stitch. They both point (in-sync btw) at the table where a kid is wearing that costume. They realize this kid's not her daughter. That the parent must’ve taken her daughter and left his kid. This next part is ovary explosion time for me. *fans self*
Tim coming over all soft asking this kid questions. He’s in dad mode and I’m melting. Look at how soft he is above. Naturally good with kiddos. Despite his wonderful demeanor the kid has no clue how to answer any of Tim questions.... It’s so funny. His answers are so matter of fact. Daddy. Duh. Ha
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I love them tag teaming to get this kid to talk. Lucy telling Tim she's got this. (Not really but she sure tries haha) I adore him just letting her step right in. Taking her shot at it. This is a look into them as parents and my heart wants to implode ha How they would talk to their kid. Lucy takes a slightly different approach at it. She fails just as miserably as Tim. It's so funny how they both crash and burn in their tactic's. They could not be any cuter in this scene if they tried.
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This is my favorite part of the episode right here. More proof of how far we’ve come with them. This entire scene is a beautiful result of the last 3 seasons. They’re able to locate the missing girl and return Alton home. The guy didn’t even realize he picked up the wrong kid… Lucy stating once they’re back in the shop ‘That poor kid. Imagine having that idiot as a father.’ Tim notes there are a lot worse out there... trust me.
Like a foreshadow to 4x09 and all we learn about his father. Tim knows first hand how much worse a father can be. Hurts my heart for him to think he wouldn’t be a good father. Just because his own was awful coupled with his damaged past. If anything it’ll make him an even better one. Someone who would want to break the toxic cycle of what he grew up with. You can tell Lucy wanted to fight him on the dad comment. That she wants to reassure him he would be a wonderful parent.
She is respectful and doesn’t press the issue. Personal stuff while it’s more common for them now she knows when to press and when not to. This is one she doesn’t push on. Let's Tim just speak his piece on it. What is absolutely wonderful is her follow up question to that. Lucy keeps them in the personal life zone with it. The best part of it is Tim’s answer. He takes a beat and looks at her first before he dives in. He's intensely thinking before presenting his reply.
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Look at our boy just being so openly vulnerable and answering her. Very honestly too btw. No push back or him shutting down. Just an honest and vulnerable answer. How far we’ve come I could cry. The amount of trust he has with her. To be this open and vulnerable about Isabel of all people and what their plans were once upon a time. My heart.
Tim spills his guts about where he thought his life would be now. He thought he would have kids already. He and Isabel had all these life plans. 3 kids, watch them grow up and everything that comes with that. Sharing with her what he thought his life would be by now. Willingly just talking about these things with Lucy. It's insane how natural this whole convo is. Lucy absorbing it all as he speaks.
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Tim ends it on a sad note of ‘But…’ Lucy finishes it for him. Saying things don’t always work out. Lucy then connects the dots as to why he was playing devils advocate earlier with her appt. She says as such to him. That life doesn't always pan out the way you expect it to. This would be a way to protect against that. It's what he was trying to convey earlier just poorly ha. Difference being this time he was genuine and empathetic. So it gets through better like it always does when he's soft with her. Will say it breaks my heart Tim telling Lucy about his family plans that never happened. Like it's a distant dream he'll never achieve now. The beautiful thing to take away from this is he told her freely. Used it as advice even to bring home his point.
Tim didn’t hesitate to open up when she asked him. Saw it as an opportunity to give her advise on her problem. The growth in this man is incredible. I'm in awe of him. Remember in S1 when personal life was a dirty word? How he instantly would clam up and shut her down immediately? Now we're here. With them talking about wildly personal stuff in the shop. The progress is wonderful. Makes me teary thinking how far they’ve come. How far Tim has come because of that wonderful sunshine woman in his life. How closed off he used to be. Now they’re casually talking about their personal lives. Not only that but Tim sharing his past life goals with Isabel.
They’re making me all emotional lol God I love this ship. Their slow burn is so worth every bit of waiting. Because they got to develop as people and grow. Be the best versions of themselves when they did get together. This scene is a wonder to behold. To see them get to this place from where they started. *heart clutch* S4 is this beautiful payoff of the bond they’ve forged. How they’ve both grown. Hell Lucy driving is driving and it’s not a thing. Just natural. Their progression makes my soul happy and even happier that I get to write about it. This is their last scene together but it's a damn fine note to end on.
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Angela comes over to update Lucy and Tamara on the ghost hunter situation. Tells them the creepy history attached to the building. Tamara is sufficiently freaked out. Says they should move haha Lucy tells her ghost's aren't real. Lucy is more worried about the hunters coming back to bother her neighbor. Angela says 99 percent of the time when a close friend or nice neighbor i.e. Lucy report it they go away and don't return.
Lucy then makes a statement that has me wanting to hug her. Saying she hopes she has a caring neighbor like herself when she’s old and alone. (Just wait Lucy we're almost there...sorta ha) Angela asks her if she’s having bad dating week? Lucy laughs tells her no. Then explains what her mother did. Angela tells her to go for it since it costs so much and she doesn't have to pay for it.
Lucy’s line above is everything. I do not blame her. Just be one more thing to hold over Lucy’s head. I know that life well… To Lucy it's just more guilt to have poured on. Something her mother can use against her later on. Better to limit her to the ammo she currently has. Tamara is sweet and says she can adopt if nothing else. Lots of kids who need a home. She’s not wrong. Also her mom must be out of her damn mind if she think's she can be apart of her kids life. She would have to do a complete 180 in how she treats her before that happens.
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Lucy and Tamara decide to get ready for the parade. Lucy thanks her for coming with. She comments how cold her bathroom always is. Tamara cracks a joke about it being cause 20 people died in their building LOL Lucy accidentally knocks over some makeup and watches the dust get sucked in behind the mirror. As if there is a draft. They pull it off together and it reveals a giant hole in the wall leading to all sorts of nooks and cranies.
Tamara refuses to let Lucy climb into this creepy hole by herself. I just love their back and forth so much haha Lucy lets her come with. Leads to this creepy hallway where someone has been staying. They find the blueberries Lucy was looking for earlier. It's on this creeps make-shift bed. It’s so eerie. The ‘ghost’ that’s been living in their walls has been eating their food. Entering everyone's apt's at his convenience.
That’s so unnerving tbh. Just coming into their apt whenever for food through the hole. Lucy calls Angela and says it’s not a ghost. Someone has been living in their walls. Tamara walks over and sees a collection of women’s jewelry and bras. Saying she’s getting stalker vibes. They see mail down there too. It’s for the girl that reported the ghost hunters this morning. Margaret in 604.
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Lucy hears creaking and wants to investigate it. Angela says she’ll call It in for them. The more they delve into this area the creepier it gets. They find his peep holes too. It’s then in the holes they see Margaret doing laundry alone. The creepy dude comes out of the shadows after her. Lucy calls for her but she doesn't hear her.
Then comes one of my favorite Lucy moments. She finds a weak spot in the wall and goes after the creeper. She handles herself like an absolute bad ass. What a fight sequence with just a broom stick. Tim would be so proud. It’s so impressive to watch her take this guy down. One of the best parts is Tamara gets to see the whole thing. Cheers her on and jumps up and down with Lucy dispatches him. It’s amazing.
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We catch them the next morning Lucy in mom mode once again. Default setting with Tamara is you ask me. She is asking her if she slept at all? If she wasn’t feeling safe they could go to a hotel. Then Tamara gives her the best compliment she could. She is a certified bad ass. I would feel safe with her too. I love Tamara getting to see Lucy in action. Seeing what a strong bad ass woman looks like. And it’s her.
They get a knock on the door and it's Angela to update them on the wall guy. This next portion is pretty sweet and funny. Let's them know if they hear anything just the scene being processed. Angela then asks what Lucy wants to do about her appointment? She says she’s going to do at least the consultation. (I think this is partially Tim's influence from their earlier convo in the shop.)
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Angela goes off on a rant about how babies don’t sleep for more than 3 hours, can’t tell if they’re smiling or have gas, and they pee on you when you change them. It's true my nephew had a Pee-Pee TeePee LOL But to not to let that dissuade her from motherhood ahhaa. Tamara pulls her leg some and it’s so funny how easily she riles Lucy up. Mom/Daughter vibes in this scene and I love it. Angela gets serious saying Jack best thing ever happened to her. Wishes Lucy the same whenever she’s ready. She will be when it’s her kid with Tim ❤️ I love this season so much. Such goodies almost every single ep.
~~~
Side notes non-Chenford
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Did enjoy Pete coming back. Him helping Tim And Nolan with their drug bust of the zombie drug. Also never hate seeing Tim in civvies mmm. That tight sweater and jeans. Glad I had the room for this gif above. To see him in said sexy outfit. Watching him in action and that outfit? Have mercy.
Thank you to those who continually like, comment and reblog these reviews. Makes my heart so happy. I shall see you all in 4x06 :)
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zeestarfishalien · 2 years ago
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Part 4: Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
The pull returns as soon as Jason steps foot outside the cemetery gates. Something in him urges him to hurry.
It doesn’t make logical sense. It’s just a dead body in an unmarked grave. That’s certainly nothing new or surprising for Gotham. Jason is not about to let it slip through the cracks but right now he has other more time-sensitive things to get done.
He slips on a comm.
“Hey O, you there?”
Her response takes less than 3 seconds. [What is it, Jaybird?]
“I’ve got an unmarked grave in a back corner of the Gotham City Cemetery. It’s at least a couple years old.” He pauses on the street corner to glance back at the cemetery gates. For just a second he thinks he spots a set of glowing green eyes but it's gone in a blink.
[And?]
Bab's question pulls Jason back out of his head.
“And I want to get a look at the body and everything so that the cops don’t conveniently miss anything.”
[You know what B is gonna ask,] she warns.
He sighs and drags a free hand down his face. “I know and I don’t have a good reason for why I was there. Just…gut feeling I guess.”
[We can keep this from him for now, at least until we go digging,] she replies.
This is why she's Jason's favorite pseudo-sibling. She's good at keeping secrets from B. He doesn't even have to ask most of the time. She just understands how much of a nosy bastard Bruce can be and more importantly, she understands that some things need to come out in their own time.
"Har har, O. You're hilarious," he deadpans back.
[Of course I am. Someone had to inherit Alfred's impeccable sense of humor.]
"Oh please, you wish." Jason snorts. "I gotta get back to business. Catch you on the flip side."
[I'll set up an algorithm to try to run through and narrow down footage from around the cemetery, but you better bring me some donuts when you next come by. The good ones from that shop near your place outside Burnley,] she orders and hangs up before Jason can respond, leaving him smiling as he removes his comm.
He has a few crime-time things to work out but then he can focus on the unmarked grave.
Things are a mess in his crew right now. Things are just not going Jason’s way today. A seller got spooked and dumped the product in the harbor. Bill’s wife went into labor prematurely, so there went one of Jason’s best henchmen. What? He’s not a monster. He did catch one of the new guys selling to kids and had to deal with that. By the time he finishes up a plenty eventful patrol, he is exhausted and pretty much just collapses in a pile of goo on his bed. Not even the insistent tug can keep him up beyond a passing thought to try to find more information later today when he wakes up.
The opening chords of Holding Out for a Hero -but not the original Bonnie Tyler version, oh no, it's the version from Shrek the musical- greets Jason's newly conscious mind. There's only one person in Jason's life with enough access and the gall to change their ringtone in his phone to this specific song.
"Dickwad, what do you want?"
[Awe, someone's grouchy. Not happy to hear from your favorite brother?] Dick's whine almost gets a chuckle out of Jason, but he'll deny that to his dying undying? breath.
"Holding Out for a Hero? Really?" Dick's cackle is a deranged sounding thing, especially over the phone. "What warranted a call this early in the afternoon? If it were for the laughs you would've done it where you could see my face when my phone rang."
[Ugh,] Dick complains, [this is why I hate being in a family of detectives.]
"So says the detective."
[Fine, fine. I just got some intel on a group trying to move a new strain of speed. It's some extra nasty stuff and they're looking at Gotham, specifically Crime Alley. I figured I'd see if you want in on it.]
"I'm busy right now, dead body."
[Oh shoot. How fresh?]
"Dunno," Jason sighs. "I found an unmarked grave, definitely old enough for the ground to have settled."
[Oh, if it's that, can't it wait? Body won't go anywhere. Better yet, tip the cops and let them get the initial legwork done,] Dick says lightly. [You can take it after that.]
The tugging in his gut protests at the thought of leaving the body in that grave to the cops, or anyone really.
"Gut says no."
[Jaybird...]
"There's something more here. I need to be the one digging it up, even if I leave it to the cops later on," Jason insists.
[How much of a risk is there of someone finding it in the meantime?] Dick has dropped into his professional voice now and it's weird how reassuring that is, Dick taking him seriously on something that seems so illogical.
"Low. It's tucked back in the far corner of the cemetery, surrounded by trees," he replies.
[Jay...you hate the cemetery. You hate going within three whole blocks of the cemetery. What were you doing there?]
"I needed to check something and that led me to the grave," Jason states vaguely. "Don't ask me how. I'm not sure I even have the words to explain it, especially not over the phone. It feels important Dickie. Logically I know it's just a long dead body, probably bones, but The Black Dog was there for a reason."
[The black dog? What black dog?]
"I think it's an actual church grim, or I guess a barghest in this case since it's a cemetery and not a graveyard.” He can practically feel Dick’s questions bubbling to the surface in the silence between them. “Just, go do some research. Look up Church Grims. I’ve got work to do, plans to dig up the cemetery.”
[Jay, I really think you should wait on this,] Dick begins softly, [take a step back to look objectively.]
“With all due respect Dickerson, shove it up your ass." Jason takes a breath to release the unreasonable annoyance. His voice drops to a soft rumble. "You didn’t see Spooky, the way they looked at me.”
[Oh no…you’ve already named it? We’re doomed!] There’s a pause before, [if you want help with the grave, I’m willing to help dig it up.]
Jason sighs softly, a smile tugging at his lips. “Thanks Dickiebird. You take care out there. Don’t let that ass get shot, your rogues will cry.”
Dick scoffs but Jason hangs up before he can retort. Thus Jason begins his day, light pre-breakfast snack, warm-up workout, breakfast, the rest of his usual prep work for going out as Red Hood.
Jason swears, anytime he goes over with the intention to ask his information dealers about the unmarked grave, something comes up. None of the camera footage he's been sent to review so far has turned up anything. This whole week has been a bust and he's about ready to break out the shovel and go dig that grave up now. He knows it's illogical but he can barely sleep, the thought that he's missing something, that he needs to hurry hurry hurry, keeps him up and he's starting to feel like he's going insane. It's as he decides he going to return to the cemetery that his comm goes off. It's the emergency frequency, the emergency frequency specifically chosen for major Arkham breakouts. Fuck...
It takes the whole next week and a half for them to track down and re-lock up Gotham's worst offenders, even with Jason and Dick's help. Hell, Cass even flew in from Hong Kong. The chaos in the streets and destruction left in the wake of this event are taking even longer to resolve. What few hours rest Jason has been able to snag are plagued by dreams of Spooky and the unmarked grave. There's dreams of everything from the dog dissolving to someone trying to claw their way free of the grave. The latter one spooking Jason the most despite how his logic reminds him that such a thing is impossible. He and Babs have already ruled out the body being dumped recently. She checked the footage when Jason woke from the dream, of the victim being buried alive, for the first time and called her in his paranoid panic. They both understood that it was most likely the trauma, but she'd been kind enough to check just in case.
Jason wakes in a cold sweat to the sharp absence of that soul pull to the cemetery. It's very telling of how used to it he's grown that the absence of it nearly sends him into a state of panic. He's throwing on the closest clothes and nearly half-way out the door before he remembers that he should probably talk to someone. He races back for his phone and jabbing his finger at Alfred's contact before snagging his keys and throwing himself out the doors.
[Young Master Jason. To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?]
"The pull is gone," Jason says with no preamble. Alfred is the only person he's gone into detail about the pull of the cemetery to. Even though he hasn't had a chance to speak with him about Spooky, Alfred will understand better than anyone. "Dickie there?"
[Yes, Young Master Richard is currently helping Young Master Damian with his animals out back. Shall I fetch him for you?]
"No, no, have him tell you about Spooky and the grave. You can call Babs in too. She's been helping me with trying to find more info." Jason checks his key chain for the keys to his main storage unit. He has a shovel there. "Also tell Dickie that I'll take him up on his offer to help me dig up a grave."
[Certainly Young Master Jason. Might we be keeping this event "on the down-low" so-to-speak as well?]
"Alfie, you're a godsend. Thank you."
SO! Good news and bad news. Bad news, I had to split this chapter so this is what you get. Good news, I've been on a massive writing spree so the next chapter is well over halfway done. This was honestly the best place to cut this chapter. I'll continue making each chapter it's own post now too, but I'll still link everything together. This chapter and most of the future chapters will probably be titled with lyrics from Momento Mori by Fish in a Birdcage bc it's insane how well that fits.
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deans-baby-momma · 2 years ago
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Law & Love Chapter 5
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A/N: This was SUPPOSED TO BE the last chapter…..but, oh well. Who’s gonna complain about more Sheriff Beau Arlen? Am I right?
THEN
I do as he asks and before I know it, his lips are on mine and his arms are wrapped around my waist. 
NOW
Chapped lips press earnestly against mine as I wrap my arms around Beau's neck, running my fingertips through the silk strands of his hair.
The kiss remains chaste and austere but still I melt against his solid and firm body. I whimper audibly when he pulls away.
His hands lingers on my hips as I slowly open my eyes and look up at him. Beau smiles sheepishly and whispers, "I've been dying to do that."
"Well, I wouldn't mind doing it again-" I say as I pull his face back down to mine and kiss one side of his mouth before moving to the opposite side and kissing. "-and again."
Beau's hands slide to my back and squeezes. "Is that right, darlin'?"
"Mm-hmm," I hum, with a nod. "And more."
"Damn sweetheart," he chuckles as his eyes twinkle. "You're going to give this old man a heart attack."
He smiles down at me before bending down and capturing my lips again, moving his over my mouth. I feel the faint trace of his tongue against the seam and willingly open my mouth to grant him entrance.
The taste of bitter coffee, cinnamon and a hint of sweetness explode over my taste buds as our tongues glide along one another. The moan that escapes my throat is unexpected but appropriate and Beau swallows it down with fervor. 
By the time Jenny and Officer Poppernak return with the  items from my house in hand, Beau and I are sitting on the small sofa in his office, watching funny videos on his phone. His arm is slung around my shoulders and we are temple-to-temple looking down at the mobile device.
“Looks like you made up,” Hoyt voices as they sit a box of the now despised gifts on the desk. I look up to see a warm smile on her face.
“Cozy,” Poppernak agrees with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 
Beau snaps his fingers and points at them both with his free hand. “Enough of that. Get those fingerprinted and logged ASAP.”
“Got it, sir, On it.” Poppernak nods and lifts the box. “Sorry.”
I smile up at the man, silently letting him know his jab is alright with me. 
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Beau escorts me home in the evening after getting me to sign an official statement and making sure no steps are missed when logging in the evidence and the fingerprints are scanned correctly. 
“It takes about 24 hours for a match, if the person is in the system.” Beau explains as we head to his truck.” A little longer if they’ve never committed a crime.”
“Beau, what if-” I pause to word my concern correctly, “-whoever this is, hasn’t…you know, committed a crime?”
“Don’t worry your pretty little head about that,” he says with a squeeze of my hand. “Let me handle it okay, darlin’?”
“Yea okay,” I acquiesce. “But you’ll let me know if you find out who it is, right?”
He doesn’t answer as we pull into my driveway. His eyes are squinted and he is studying something through the windshield. I turn to look and gasp.
There are words spray painted on my front door. ‘You went to the cops?’
“Oh my god! How…..what….why?” I can’t form a complete thought let alone a whole sentence. My body is shaking as I read and re-read the words. 
“Stay here,” Beau commands before he opens his door and jumps out. I watch as he canvasses the front side of my house and steps up to the door. He pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, bending over and picking something up. It looks like a piece of paper.
Beau  carefully carries the item back to his truck and gets in.
“You’re not staying here,” he says with an authoritative tone that tells me there will be no discussion about it. “I’m taking you to my place. You can stay with me.”
We head back to the station and Beau rushes in, handing the new evidence to Poppernak. “Dust that for fingerprints and get a handwriting expert in here. This just upped the ante.”
I look at the paper and gasp. ‘Bitch you will pay for that’
Beau wraps his arms around me and pulls me in close. “Don’t work darlin’. I ain’t gonna let nothin’ happen to you,” he whispers and peeks a kiss on top of my head. 
“Pop, I’m taking Ms. Y/L/N to my trailer. Keep me updated. I don’t care what time it is. If something comes in, call me. Understand?”
Officer Poppernak nodded and looked at me, sincerely. “Don’t worry. We’ll get whoever it is.”
Beau ushers me back out to his vehicle and holds the door as I climb in. Once he is sure I am secure he closes the door and saunters around the front of it. 
As he shuts his door, he sighs. “Well this isn’t exactly how I was hoping to spend time with you. My place-” he pauses as he sighs again. “-it ain’t much. Not a lot of room but I cannot keep you safe anywhere else. You trust me, right?”
Beau looks over at me solemnly. My heart breaks. “I trust you immensely Beau. We will figure it out. I’m not opposed to sharing your space, if you’re not.”
Beau half-smiles and turns the key, igniting the engine. “Darlin’ we’re going to be sharing more than just space.” 
Much to my surprise, Beau’s trailer is actually a camper set up on the outskirts of town, near the boundary edge of the forest that borders the town. I never knew people actually lived out here but I’ve only been a resident myself for five weeks so I can’t really say I’d given it much thought. 
Beau parks in front of the makeshift porch and turns the engine off, casting us in almost complete darkness and an absolute stillness. It’s peaceful and tranquil but my nerves are frazzled and I cannot seem to appreciate it. 
What if my so-called secret admirer finds out where I am and decides to make good on his threat? There’s not a lot out here to stop him; no way to defend myself. Then I look over at Beau. His features are illuminated by the dim light of the dash. 
If there is anything I’m sure of, it’s that Sheriff Beau Arlen will protect me and keep me safe. 
My hero doesn’t wear a cape; he wears Wranglers and a Stetson.
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brokenpieces-72 · 10 months ago
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Paloma ‘Sunny’ Vascoe
TW: past trauma, hospitalized relative, gang mentions, let me know if any are missing
“You’re the reason we can’t have nice things!”
The words echoed in her mind as Paloma looked at her guardian on the hospital bed. Every echo seemed to make it feel more true. Paloma’s aunt had yelled that at her during a family gathering, when she had made a mess. This was certainly a mess, and one that couldn’t be cleaned by straightening some chairs, and ordering more food.
Paloma had been running with the Narcos for a while, and it was to keep her guardian safe. There was money involved as well, which she used to help her father, Marco Vasco pay the bills. Of course, to keep both sides a secret, she wore a mask, and hid it from everyone else in her adoptive family. None of the narcos knew of her father.
Over time she started getting in too deep, the money was getting bloodier and good people were dying, and a couple by her own hands. The risks were getting higher, with special forces having to step in over the cops.
In desperation, she resorted to selling information to the right people. The cops were practically useless and the Mexican military could rat her out easily. That left one other group. The Los Vaqueros. Her father’s old military squad.
Alejandro Vargas was a family friend of her father. If she gave him the information directly though, there was still a lot of risk. He might arrest her, tell her father, hell for all she knew he might shoot her on site. Coming face to face was too dangerous.
At the end of the day, the Narcos had to be stopped. If they were stopped and she was selling information, she might be spared from jail time. For a while it did work. She used burner phones to message Alejandro, offering information, for a reasonable price. Bills could still get paid and no one in the Narcos was the wiser. Or so she had thought.
A few hours ago she had come home, to find her father on the floor in their home, beaten within an inch of his life. He was gasping for air, there was blood everywhere, and white sheet with words she didn’t care about. In panic and desperation she called for help, and even called Alejandro to meet her at the hospital. Speaking to the police didn’t feel safe for her. Especially alone with her father in a comatose state. While she sat in the hospital, no cops had shown up.
“I’m really sorry…” she whispered to her father. “I just wanted to help.”
The only response she got from him was the steady beep of the heart monitor. Memories echoed in her mind along with the words of her aunt.
“You’re the reason we can’t have nice things.”
Time living on the streets, pickpocketing money for food, begging for help, running away from dogs and thugs, being offered food and fresh clothes by a man she barely knew, coming back to see him and thank him, sitting down with the man to talk and helping around his home, getting patched up after a nasty fight, being given a meal, a bed, a home, a family. Once again tears filled her eyes, and she took a sip of water, sniffling.
Then she heard a couple of voices talking outside the room. Her attention snapped to the open door, and her hand was on a pocket knife hooked to her belt. Another voice spoke and she recognized it.
Alejandro walked in to the room, eyeing his friend before the girl sitting off to the side. He walked further in, eyes never leaving the patient, muttering to himself. The girl continued to watch the colonel, ignored.
Wasn’t the first time either. The girl was rarely loud without her mask on. Alejandro had met her on a couple of occasions, but she was always intimidated by him.
After a few minutes of silence he finally acknowledged her.
“You talk to the police yet?” He asked her. She shook her head.
“Don’t trust cops. Never have.” She said, still hugging her knees on the small chair.
“Good. Tell me what happened.” He said. The girl looked up at him. What the hell could she tell him? That she was selling information from the Narcos to Alejandro himself? She had been working with the Narcos and her father had no idea? Selling the information might have gotten her father almost killed? She fidgeted in her chair, looking away from Alejandro’s eyes. Something about them seemed to pierce into her, like a letter opener, cutting into the envelope of her dark secrets. Paloma just shook her head.
“Mija. I need to know what happened.” He exclaimed. No, he didn’t, she thought, he didn’t need to know anything. Not about why it happened, how it happened or that it was her fault. Alejandro had been there when her aunt had said those words to her. She shook her head again. Alejandro sighed.
The kid was scared, had every reason to be. Shy, small thing, just trying to do her best. He’d seen what happened when her aunt lashed out at her, the look of pain and horror that had been on the girl’s face. Honestly, he was relieved she hadn’t been home to be caught by the Narcos. It gave him a witness, something that was hard to come by. He sent Rudolfo Parra to investigate the scene before it could be tampered with.
Alejandro needed her to talk though. The more he knew from her, the better. With her father in a coma, she would need a place to stay as well. Leaving her alone in the hospital didn’t sit right with him. There was a safe house he could take her to or even give her a bunk on base to help her feel safe. The only way he was leaving with her though is if she could talk to him first. Then he could get her witness protection with his own jurisdiction.
Alejandro softened a little, and pulled up a chair next to her. Marco had pulled through on more than one occasion for him. The least he could do in return was look after his adopted kid.
“Mija…” he said softly. She seemed to flinch at his words. “You don’t have to tell me everything but you need to tell me something.”
“…I can’t.” She said quietly. He could hear the sobs she was desperately holding back. He needed to do this quickly though. The cops could arrive at any point and there was no way he would let them take her. Alejandro needed to try a new tactic.
“Were you listening to music on your way home?” He asked. The girl was quiet, brows knitting in confusion.
“W…what?” She asked.
“Were you listening to music on your way home?” He asked, as if he were asking how her day at school had been while sitting in a living room.
“Y-yes.” She answered, a little unsure about the question.
“Did you spend time with friends before coming home?” He asked. She nodded. “What were you doing with them?”
“We were playing pool.” She answered still a little confused.
“What colour is your house key again?” He asked.
“Uh… it’s silver.” She said. What knowledge could he get from that?
“Your Papi was wearing his jersey tonight right? For the game?” He asked, with slight friendly smile, as he props his elbows on his knees.
“N-no. There’s no game tonight.” She said. “His shirt was blue when I left.”
That was enough information. She had an alibi, no reason to break and enter and had seen her father before he was attacked. It would be enough to go on for now. The rest could come later after Rudolfo got back to him with the information from the crime scene. For now, he was going to focus on getting her somewhere safer than the hospital. His expression turned more serious.
“Mija I need to get you somewhere safe.” He said. “Your father will be in good hands, I’ll get my men to watch him just in case. My second in command is checking the crime scene now, and will get you some extra clothes.”
She said nothing, and just stared at her father, still reliving the memories.
“I can’t take you with me unless you say yes to it.” Alejandro told her.
“…I can’t leave him.” She whispered.
“I know Mija… but your father would want you to be safe. I can’t do that unless you come with me.” He said. She sniffled, and looked at the colonel. It was a side to him she hadn’t seen before. One that was more worried about protecting rather than fighting. He put a hand on her shoulder.
“He’ll make it through this Mija. I know he will.” He assured her.
At this point she didn’t see any other option. Her father would be safe, and so would she. It seemed fruitless but if there was even a chance she could recover from this, she would take it. She nodded.
“You ready to go or do you need a minute?” Alejandro asked.
“A minute.” She replied. He nodded and got up from the chair, stepping out into the hallway. He glanced inside quickly to see her leaning in, and saying something. Alejandro withdrew to give her privacy. Then his phone rang. Rudolfo?
“Vargas.” He answered.
“Colonel, we have a problem.” Rudolfo explained. “We’ve searched the house, they broke in but they also left a message.”
“Same as the others?” The colonel asked.
“No. This one says… well not sure I want to repeat it all.” Rudolfo said.
“Give me the gist of it.” Alejandro said sighing.
“The kid might be involved with the Narcos.” He put plainly. Alejandro stopped his pacing. It wasn’t unheard of for kids to get involved but why hadn’t they gone for her? He looked back to the doorway. Shy little thing was still leaning close to her dad, talking to him.
“What makes you say that?” Alejandro asked.
“You said her name was Paloma. The cloths refer to a dove’s nest being destroyed, all because of a cuckoo who couldn’t keep its mouth shut.” Rudolfo exclaimed. Alejandro went very quiet. There was no way in hell this little kid was an informant, let alone caught up with Narcos.
“Get what you can and return to base, I’m taking the kid to a safe house. Right now if she knows something she won’t be able to talk.” Alejandro said.
“Yes sir.” Rudolfo said, and Alejandro hung up.
To be continued…
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alicepao13 · 1 year ago
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So. The 7th episode of Hudson and Rex after a long and fully undeserved hiatus. First of all, good episode. Even if the plot is ridiculous and overdone in other crime shows, and the concept “Russian spy in St. John’s” is kinda laughable. But hey, I’ve heard more improbable stories in the news lately, so who am I to judge what’s realistic anymore?
How many English speaking people would be able to differentiate a French accent from an Eastern European accent in three words? Just wondering.
I don’t usually laugh in this show (not where I’m supposed to, anyway) but Jesse’s deadpan delivery of "Is it interesting?" was spot on.
Absolutely thought the boyfriend would have somehow ended up being tied to the murder. That didn’t happen. Then I thought the professor would have something to do with it. Didn’t happen either. Either I’m broken or they finally wrote a good script.
Charlie speaking out loud his findings as he searched the victim's library. It's probably for Rex who can't read lol
"I'm not a caveperson". Nope, it's still caveman, you can have this one, boys.
A Canadian getting banned from entering the US for violence? That’s truly a bad guy.
I did not understand anything about oil rigging in the Arctic. Nor do I want to. You guys can keep your Canadian secrets.
It happens in every show. If it's a cop show, we hate the feds. If it's a show about feds, the cops are morons.
How come I've watched so many shows referencing Russian spies and I don't remember Novichok nerve agents being mentioned by that name?
The moment Sarah gave Charlie the antidote that was pretty much where my hopes for a ride to the hospital were dashed. Like, come on, man, let me live a little.
Joe was rightfully pissed about getting stonewalled, although I don't think this case would have been necessarily solved faster if CSIS shared their intel.
Ah, Trina. That must have been her on the phone. It's nice to see they kept in contact.
Charlie’s house??? On my screen???
Charlie and Sarah in Charlie’s house??? On my screen???
Charlie knows the story of Sarah’s family. That’s cute.
Some mentions of Sarah’s family this season. I’m getting my hopes up.
*Charlie and Sarah about to kiss* Rex: Oh shit they’re gonna fuck again. *runs away* Charlie truly meant it when he said that Rex knows to make himself scarce.
“CSIS Safehouse” in large, Arial font letters. Oh boy, I’d like to see the audience screening that warranted that. (People are dumb. I know.)
So the first three letters of CSIS are for Canadian Security Idiot :P
Rex with the syringe in his mouth: Anyone with thumbs around?
Of course Charlie would inject himself with the antidote as he was dying like we’re in some Die Hard movie (I’ve never actually seen them). This was like 5% of the whump I was hoping for.
And then he gets up and stumbles a little and that’s it? How is it that difficult to write some whump? Arrest him and then pass out!
I liked that they finally managed to set up something comedic in the first arc and finished it in the last scene, with Jesse’s interpretation of what every other character’s reactions meant. I agree with them, by the way, Austin Powers is a bad choice, Jesse.
Also, Rex would make a fine ballerina apparently. Charlie secretly agrees.
It was a good episode, I don’t feel let down. As I’ve said before, it’s hard to have that promo hanging out there for 3.5 months and have the episode live up to the expectations. But it had the team working as a team again, Charlie’s house came back from the war, there were cute Charah moments again, there was team banter and funny scenes and Rex saved Charlie's life a bunch lol. I’m not sure what they were trying to do with the first couple of episodes. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
The next episode is promising me whump again. I refuse to get my hopes up again but at least it will be only a week until then. Sadly, it seems like Rex is inside the prison. Like, what the fuck. That alone would be a major red flag for any inmate, they wouldn’t even need to know he’s a cop. Although if Charlie ends up getting beaten to protect him, I’ll forgive them for that and for that atrocious undercover hairstyle. However, it truly was an opportunity to see them working separately.
I love that they mention that Charlie has arrested so many guys in there. Maybe it would work if Charlie slicked his hair back… and Rex turned into a cat.
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be-side-my-self · 5 months ago
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Rewatch of Only Murders In The Building to prepare for season 4 (II)
<Part I> Block #OMITBRewatch if you don’t want to read notes that will have spoilers up to seasons 3. Just to make it clear, while quoting, I use M, O, C for the main characters.
S1 E5
C: "You're a simpleton." O: "Damn it! I didn't get that! Can you call me a simpleton again?" C: "You're a simpleton." O: "Thank you!"
Oscar and Mabel meeting again! ... but certainly there could have been better ways than creepily following her in a bright hoodie. Well, at least it wasn't a black hoodie.
It is so cute how Charles wants to believe in Mabel. He is right though, but it certainly does not look like Mabel is innocent that moment. She is after all driving away with Tie-dye Guy.
New York traffic looks like hell.
Again, it's great that Charles wants to believe in Mable and Oliver is like "it has to be her!"
Oscar: "I saw you once with those guys that look like retired cops. Was one of them that Brazzos guy?"
O: "Search 'Charles-Haden Savage fat.' Ooh! Look at the ass on papa."
The car is really beautiful though.
So, why did the first call go on voicemail and the second one not? Didn't Mabel had reception? But why did Charles? ... shouldn't they all use the newest iphones?
O: "It's tough... to believe that she could be... this duplicitous, I know. Tougher because you're a closed-off person. And Mabel made you... open up and trust people for the first time. So now, the thought that she might not be who she seems has you questioning it all." O: "Okay, I gotta try that again. That was very fake sounding." C: "You fucker!"
Yeah well how could you have missed that, Mabel? You were sitting on the floor, surrounded by jewelry.
Charles and Oliver really are besties.
Lucius: "Sure I follow people all the time." - ... it surely will be fine...
Honestly though I celebrated Roy Wood Jr. having a small role.
Love how the two black guys show off to the two white guys.
Also I respect Oscar's dream of starting a Yoga-studio.
The scene in the tattoo shop is great... confusing and everything is happening at the same time.
S1 E6
Detective Williams... got it.
"Herman's Head" sounds like "Inside Out" ... I never saw " Inside Out."
The scene of the Detective and her wife is really good. Because the detective is a great character. She gets so many plus points later on. She might be one of my favorite characters.
Whoop Dee Doo, Mabels Mom
Mabels Mom: "Have you ever felt that there was something you screwed up so bad, you will never fogive yourself." C & O: "... well...." Mablels Mom: "For me it was letting her spend time at the damn apartment. Please let her be. Let her move forward. Not back."
Okay but maybe Mabel needs that as a closure?
M: "Don't do Tik Tok." <- Good advise for anyone!!
C: "You know it's a law of nature. Nothing good ever happens on Long Island."
You might not know each other a lot but you are still best friends, Charles and Oliver.
Mable had a crush on Stabler from CSI: SVU... i've watched a few episodes but I don't remember much.
M "Why was Tim after the ring that Zoe had on the night she died?"
Now I remember what happened. Sometimes it just takes some time.
Gotta say that the romance between Oscar and Mabel is cute... even if tragic. They liked each other before the whole awful thing happened.
Really... Jimmy Fallon shout out for the podcast. Everyone will go listen to it.
Teddy is hardcore... good character but holy shit.
O: "You know my phone settings... I am not a rando!"
They are besties!
Food is really the best peace offering.
M: "But you guys... Are you really gonna make me say it?" C: "I kinda like to hear the words, yes." O: "Also rank us. I'm dying to know who your favorite is."
It's Charles, Oliver. Mabel likes Charles more.
It's Tim Kono's phone!
C: "That is right, our prime sponsor is now our prime suspect."
S1 E7
Gosh, it's so sad and weird that Bobby tries to make Theo listen to music.
Because I was curious I looked up "Carousel" and it's a musical by Rodgers and Hammerstein.
"My boy Bill, I'll see that he is named after me!"
"And you won't see nobody dare to try-- to boss him or toss him around. No pot-bellied, baggy-eyed bully will boss him around--"
The moment Bobby realises that he did exactly that to his son that moment.
And continues to do so.
I actually love the different perspectives... from Theo's point of view everything is muffled... and then he talks with the watchers. XD I'm just glad they translate the important parts of the ASL.
The whole episode is great because almost nothing or nothing is said?
Teddy is still bullying his son.
Teddy: "If there is a problem, I'll fix it."
I guess Zoe really was a troubled child...
"Scary" - "Sexy" - "Hard" - "Wet" - "Woody" - "Yum"
How to flirt with scrabble?
"Teddy is a Gray Roger!" - "Are you having a stroke?" - "Grave Robber! Teddy is a Graverobber!"
It was all an accident.
O. PUTNAM & MABEL - 78 Messages O. PUTNAM - 11 Missed Calls
I love that Charles has Oliver as O. PUTNAM in his address book.
Uh Oh.
S1 E8
Love that Jabouki Young-White is also having a part.
O: "Do you know that I was the first director to use areal cadaver on stage? In Tuesdays At Bernie's. It was my dual adaptation of Tuesdays With Morrie and Weekend at Bernie's." M: "What?"
Yeah, Teddy. I'm sure the deaf son was more responsible for the failing of your marriage than all the whores.
Lmao, Jen is a freak.
Jen: "Brazzos was our safe word." M: "And what's the safe word for me to get out of this conversation?"
LMAO... Detective Williams is so cool.
Incredible that Jen and Oscar get added to the roaster and then the fans too.
... it was not the Dimas'ses
I think I now remember who it was... though I though she was the one who did it in season 2? I got it all confused... that is why I need the rewatch. xD
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eldritchsurveys · 7 months ago
Text
1218.
Are any of your friendships on a fine line? .
If I search your room, will I find birth control? >> You don't really have to search. It's right here on my nightstand.
Do you expect any of your ex’s to call or text you? .
Have you ever witnessed a birth? >> Animal ones. Where’s your favorite place to be when you feel depressed? >> The Configuration. Outworld, I guess I just prefer to be in my room. Which is where I usually prefer to be anyway.
Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow? >> Not particularly. Nothing special is happening tomorrow.
When was the last time you held someone’s hand? .
Have you ever faked sick? >> I have never done this.
Do you wear hoodies to bed? >> I've done it before, especially in the winter since we can't afford to properly heat this place.
Are you currently wearing jeans? >> I am not.
Do you buy eggnog around the holidays? >> If I remember. I do love a good eggnog.
Have you gone to a coffee shop within the past week? >> I have not.
Would you like to be able to read thoughts? >> I would not.
Are you often the last one to understand a joke? >> Not often.
Your first black eye: Did you give it or get it? >> I don't think I've ever had one, and I've certainly never given anyone one.
Do you think baseball is a dying professional sport in America? >> I don’t know, and I definitely don’t care.
Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive? >> I think artistic skill is generally attractive, but even if I’m attracted to the skill level or the virtuosity of the player, that’s no guarantee I’ll be attracted to the player as well.
Have you ever slept in a tent, indoors or out? >> I have. What does your hair look like at the moment? >> It looks like a buzzcut.
Are you mad right now? >> I am not. Who did you spend your summer with last year? .
Did you eat a cookie today? >> I haven't, but I might have a couple of lemon shortbread cookies later.
Have you heard of wreck this journal? >> I have, but not recently. Do they still make those?
Do you know any one who lives in California? >> I do.
Have you ever been told you were a good writer? >> I have.
What do you put on your baked potatoes? >> I don’t make baked potatoes.
Have you ever been on a farm? >> Sure. Last three texts on your phone are from? . What are you listening to? >> Nothing. Are you one to take naps? >> Occasionally. I do tend to get really sleepy in midday. Did you ever have braces? >> I did not.
Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? >> Not outworld.
Are you afraid of flying? >> Not at all, I love flying.
Do you have freckles? >> I do not.
Do you have plans for today? >> Just some gaming. Oh, and my laundry.
Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger than you? .
Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? .
If you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? .
What were you doing at 7:45AM this morning? >> I'd just gotten back from my walk, and the next thing I did after I changed clothes was get some cereal and put Frasier on to watch an episode whilst eating said cereal. So, one of those things. What was the last thing you drank? >> Black tea.
Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing? >> It's just an undershirt, it came in a pack from like Target or Meijer.
Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow? . How often do you drink Monster? >> Never.
Are you easy to get along with? >> I suppose that depends on the disposition of the person trying to get along with me.
Are you short? >> In comparison to some people, sure.
Can you ever get enough of mac ‘n’ cheese? >> I most certainly can get enough of it. I'm really particular about mac and cheese, I don't like most varieties.
Are you allergic to nuts or dairy products? >> I am not.
Do you have trust issues? >> Something like that.
Is there someone you want to let go of? .
Do you think age matters in relationships? >> Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t.
Has anyone ever called the cops on you? >> Not on me specifically, no.
How old are you? >> 37. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? >> I did not.
Do you go to church every Sunday? >> I don't go any Sundays. Can you recall the last time you liked someone? >> God, I would so love to know what this feels like... About a billion fictional crushes did come to mind, though. If anything, I'll always have those~
Do you like your height? >> I have no feelings about it. It's really unremarkable.
Is the last person of the opposite sex you texted single? .
Could you go a week without brushing your teeth? >> I don't think so, that would feel and taste and look so awful. What day is it? >> Thursday. Are you usually awake at midnight? >> Ideally not. The firecracker fervour has finally died down, so now I'm back to being asleep before midnight, thank the fucking gods. Does it get really cold where you live? >> Not recently. The climate here has kind of flattened out in recent years; milder winters, milder summers. Although, of course, winter is still too damn cold for me personally.
When you get home from school / work do you change into your pjs right away? >> I change clothes whenever I get home from anywhere.
Have you ever been peer pressured to smoke pot? >> People did try to peer-pressure me into it, but it just doesn't work that way for me. When I did eventually try it, it was just out of curiosity.
Have you ever played the game Sims 3? >> Sure.
What is the temperature currently in the town you live in? >> 69° (nice) Fahrenheit (20° C).
Do you ever actually drink milk alone? >> I don't.
If you don’t have one already, would you consider getting an iPhone? >> I have no interest in iPhones.
What year were you born in? >> 1987.
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