#don’t get me wrong it’s still an amazing novel and i enjoyed it a lot

[evie-doesnt-write]

My unpopular opinion is that TGCF is the weakest out of all MXTX books (maybe because she didn’t get to edit it until recently unlike the other two). I still love it and it’s an amazing piece of work but as a narrative, its structure is not as strong as the other two (though I think TGCF is stronger in other regards)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - We In A Slump, but help might be coming from a very strange source

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - I don’t have a lot to say except that the plot is somewhat predictable but the show is still very engaging. War is fantastic. I’m enjoying it a hell of a lot.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 10 of 12 - The second leads are getting better in this one. I understand where they are coming from, which makes their conflict so much more understandably painful, and honest to a friends2lovers trope. The main couple is kinda standard college relationship drama, but they are cuties.  

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - How is Ohm so damn gorgeous? Meanwhile, babies’ first argument. And it’s sponge bath time. Q has got to be wondering if Min is as meticulous with all kinds of care and attention to detail all......the......time. Somebody here in the hellhole said something about this being "the most BL to ever BL." And I think they’re right. At least right now. Although, watch out, we got us a new contender from the east.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - I do love the continuation of the perversion, in a good way, of the punishment trope from last week's episode. Oh, has the show finally remembered its title? NO SINGING. 

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 7 of 10 - More kidnapping and an attack and now there’s a girl involved and somebody’s going to China and I don’t understand anything! And I don’t really care. Is this how the actual book originally went? Because it’s wild. Also TOO MANY of flashbacks. I guess they got a bit of a boyfriend era, and the claiming during the water fight was cute, but otherwise...... meh

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 15 - One shouldn’t make comparisons, of course, but all I can think about is how amazing Captain was as Noh in the original series. Thus this show is mostly just making me want to rewatch the original. It’d be an interesting twist to have Aim be queer instead of a damaged cool girl slut. Was the helmet hand letting go a foreshadow of the iconic bookstore hands letting go? Also, I gotta say for the second episode of a series there are already too many flashbacks. Why are they using filler when they have so much content crammed into so few (comparable) episodes for a series? It’s annoying. Stop it.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - This show has some interesting, if heavy handed, things to say about shipping and trolling, but also predatory/proprietary female behavior. It’s fascinating to see it tackled head on, if handled in a profoundly clumsy manner. I’m not sure how I feel about it. That said, most of this episode was actually an advertisement for a resort in Phuket. 

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 10 - I'm getting What's Wrong with Secretary Kim? vibes from this show. Only this is WAY more bullying. It’s very old-fashioned 90’s billionaire romance novel only gay. It’s never a good sign when I’m watching two boys kiss and I really want one of them to just bite the other ones lip off instead.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 9 of 12 - No ep this week. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 8 of 10 - Gosh it’s so frikin adorable. Baby got sick. He has SUCH A CRUSH. And such a courageous little confession! Yay! Can’t wait for next week. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YouTube) ep 1 - sure, yes this is, in fact, just Ba Vinh doing his thing with pretty boys again. And yet...... There is a REASON this leapt into the standings guns blazing. So it’s high school set but it's stepbrothers trope. (My, aren’t we popular this year?) I know, but I NEVER get tired of this trope. We got us Bach (BV's sullen tsundere) and Dat (babygirl meets bully). It’s GREAT how the brothers' dynamic is entirely different at school than when they're at home. My ear isn’t trained for Vietnamese, but I think Dat is using different pronouns depending on his location (his personality entirely shifts when he’s at school). I’m not sold on the Bach character, although I always trust BV to serve in the end (at least we know the kisses will be good), but Dat is utterly in love, a touch spicy, and reasonably complex. The surrounding cast is good too, my favorite pretty boy is there playing top dog (woof), and one of the besties is out gay (YAY!). The plot of the show is...... well...... absent. Nothing happened. But if we are aiming for Love Sick slice of life style BL, I'm game. Subs are appropriately terrible and confusing. But I like it A FUCK TON so far, so I’m gonna keep it in rotation. Nice to have Vietnam back in play. What a shocker.

2024 has been a year of upsets.

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 3 of 10 eps - I weirdly enjoyed the farcical music and the utter absurdity of the court case. I also liked how it highlighted what a good team these two are. Frankly I don’t mind a bit of an antihero sleazy lawyer + conman, it's engaging. I’m getting wholesome out of Thailand. I don’t really need it from Japan at the moment. Also I don’t believe for one second our conman actually is serious about the relationship. Conmen gonna con. I'm reminded of the scorpion and the frog fable.

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - I love Orca so much. I do not love the autotuned version of Orca, but I knew what I was in for with this particular show, it's in the title after all. I did laugh a whole lot when Laing used kha. Hon, I don't think that word means what you think it means......

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 11-12fin - I never thought I’d say this, but the pacing was off in the penultimate episode. Taiwan, and its chronic misuse of flashbacks strikes again. That said we eventually got a "lock in" trope and Wang being the biggest little flirt shit in the cafe OMG!!! Of course, you shouldn’t use a girl to torment your bf, but it was so well done, I can’t really complain. Meanwhile, teacher kisses. And now I understand exactly why they’re present in this narrative. Clever. Bummer of a burden on that ending though. I cannot see how they’ll manage to stick this landing. [That was ep 11]

AND NOW EP 12 - doomey doomey doom

Not the water bottle trope! Argh the teenage lust of it all. Just stop it. Wang is so smart he knows exactly how bad he has to be to leave the class. And his bf certainly knows that too. And......

......

So that was not an ending and I’m not happy about it and no one is surprised. Even I’m not surprised. I’m just disappointed. Even tho I suspected this was where we were headed I'm disappointed. That’s it. That’s all I got. How do I review something that was such a crushing let down?

Conclusion:

Based on a Mou Mou novel + the Your Name Engraved Herein team, this is old-school coming of age BL and it was bloody fantastic. Tsundere seme to beat all tsundere (smartest + tallest + bestest at everything but people) meets socially-ept cutie smart-ass uke. They're living together by end of ep 1 and start kissing by end of ep 2. A stellar tense slow burn stepbrothers trope that ate my life and than just belly-flopped the finale. What I'm left with is epic levels of disappointment and well...... at least nobody died? My standard "fatally flawed" rating for any BL is 4/10 so I guess that’s what I’m giving it. 

Before you ask me for the stats: Taiwan does not have a history of second seasons. I went ahead and ran the numbers and the odds are certainly not in our favor. I put the chances at 2%.

Yes, I contemplated a revenge rating of 2/10 but even I'm not that mean.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

In Case You Missed It

Falling For My Boss is vertical format (nash) short from Korean BL about a happy-go-unlucky man who keeps losing his flower shop business because of romantically misbehaving employees (apparently it's a thing). When his best employee brings in a new boy he's worried she's falling for him, but it turns out it's his own heart on the line. He a clueless softy and The Boy is a lost broken sweetheart, making this a gentle little snippet of a show. There's a baby linguistic negotiation, some hung slinging, awkward handholds, and everyone is very pretty. For me the absence of kisses and the vertical format were more annoying than the length, which felt fine but many viewers will find too short. I enjoyed the 30 minutes of cute. All of which makes this a solid 7/10 from me. It was originally only available on this one ap in very short form with ads so I wasn't gonna bother. Then some kind soul cut it together without ads and stuck it up for download. Say thank you.

Oddball recommendation next: This podcast episode touches on some stuff we see in Thai BL so I think it's worth listening to. Journalist Dominic Faulder on the Complex History Between Thailand & Myanmar

Happy of the End (Japan Gaga) - Completed its run. A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all and DNFed. Gossip round the hellhole is that was a solid decision.

Marriage Equality Law has officially been enacted in Thailand...

Yes the actual law. Goes into effect Jan 22, 2025

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Coming Oct 2024:

10/3 Fourever You (Thai iQIYI?) 16 eps - New directs Earth (UWMA, 12%) + Pond (Century of Love, 180 Degrees), Bas (Gen Y, 2 Moons) + Maxky (Why You… Y Me?) and other familiar faces like Bever. Sampler pack university BL from Wabi Sabi that looks like it's trying to be a gay Boys Over Flowers (4 older med students hot boys) and I'm not mad about it. Trailer Not sure who's distributing this but my guess is iQIYI since they had the last few from this house.

10/7 Every You Every Me (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.)

10/10 Eccentric Romance (Korea ????) 12 eps - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab, that has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world. I'm worried but I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER.

10/10 Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea ????) 8 eps? - Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Adaptation of Booker-nominated famous coming of age novel of the same title by Park Sang-Young. Cynical yet fun loving student writer Young pinballs from home, to class, to Tinder matches. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju. As time passes Jaehee settles down and leaves Young to face his problems on his own. Young finding comfort in the arms of the series of men, including one whose handsomeness is matched by his coldness and another who might be the great love of his life. Not really BL. Stars Kim Go-eun (The King: Eternal Monarch), Noh Sang-hyun, and Nam Yoon Su (The King’s Affection). This already released as a movie and isn't very well regarded, this date is supposedly an international release as a series. I'm wary of it being BL.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

I got nothing, The On1y One drove me into a funk.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[sarahreesbrennan]

Quick Evil Note

To all my wicked darlings, I have now received rather a lot of messages asking me about the influences of Long Live Evil. And I wish to get messages about LLE and truly appreciate the ones I do get! And I wish to answer them. But answers about influences are tricky.

The book has been out in the US for a little over two weeks, and it’s going so well so far, I couldn’t be more delighted and appreciative about its reception.

But also I’ve been informed (not asked) that two of my characters are obviously somehow both Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy of Harry Potter, and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji of Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation. (Very puzzling as I don’t think these pairings - and one isn’t a pair - have much in common with each other or with mine. Vague hostility against a vaguely academic backdrop for a bit? For the record… in the book everyone is an adult and I don’t even have any academic backdrops to be vaguely hostile in front of…) This hasn’t happened to me in a long time, because I haven’t had an original novel out in a long time due to illness, and it is upsetting to always be discussed differently than writers who didn’t openly link their real names to their fan identity.

I have very different feelings and new appreciation for fandom than I once had. It’s been amazing to see and meet people who have stuck with me for decades. People are generally way more open and affectionate to and within fandom than they once were. Love matters to me a good deal more than hate. But getting death threats in your early 20s for excitedly telling your Internet friends you were going to publish a book does mark the psyche, and so does having your characters dismissed as other people’s characters.

And we can say there is nothing wrong with fanfiction or writing fanfiction and there isn’t! Fanfiction is great and can be genius. Terry Pratchett wrote Jane Austen fanfiction, and didn’t (and shouldn’t) have people saying Captain Wentworth = Captain Vimes. Still, when a TV show is discussed as ‘like fanfiction’ or when Diana Gabaldon said she didn’t like fanfiction and many said ‘YOU write fanfiction’ it isn’t intended in any kind spirit, even when it’s fannish folk saying it. And it’s just generally odd to have everyone call your apple a tomato, and has had professional consequences for me in the past.

However! All the asks I’ve received have been very kind, and I do want to answer them. I do want to talk about my influences because they are manifold and because I actually think it’s important to always talk about influences. I don’t believe stories exist in isolation - we tell tales in a rich tradition, and also a story doesn’t come alive to me all the way until it’s heard or read.

Long Live Evil is a love letter to fandom: it’s chock full of references to many many stories I’ve loved, to fairytales, myths and legend and Internet memes and epic fantasy and meta. My acknowledgements are endless partly for this reason. I do owe a great debt to many portal fantasies and archetypes and musicals and jokes about genre and plays through the ages, though I do think of my characters as themselves and nobody else.

I was frankly tempted to go ‘Yes I stole EVERYTHING! Bwhahaha!’ But while I am thoroughly enjoying and finding great freedom in my villain era, I do want to talk sincerely to you all as well, especially when asked sincerely interested questions.

But I’m a little scared to do so and have people say ‘AHA! Now we know what it’s fanfiction of’ (it’s happened before) or ignore me and go ‘we know the truth!’ (it’s happened before) and to feel like I’ve injured my book. Long Live Evil means more to me than any other and I really want to get talking about it right, and make sure it has the best reception I can give it.

So. Questions on all Evil topics very very welcome but answers to influence questions may come slowly. Bear with me. I am working on this!

[thebeautysurrounds]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how people’s reactions to certain queer shows and something I think we need to examine how we treat more ‘dark’ and ‘emotional’ shows versus more ‘happy’ shows in this case I’m gonna be talking about the “debate” between Young Royals and Heartstopper.

Firstly these shows exist in two different lanes, and draw in two different audiences and potential age ranges, in my opinion, Young Royals is for older teenagers (think juniors or seniors or someone who is about to graduate high school and is going into college) while Heartstopper is geared towards those who are just starting high school or in the middle of it and is in that transitional period of their lives. Obviously, if you are not in these age ranges you can still consume and enjoy these shows, But I want to discuss how people act like they both can’t exist and you can’t like both or both shows existing for a reason. I’ve never really been a fan of punching down or belittling queer media (unless it’s harmful) Queer media in all forms is still lacking (especially those mediums centering WLW relationships). That being said the debate of which show is better is honestly so tired.

For people who say Young Royals is so much better (don’t get me wrong it is an amazing show and by all means like whatever you want) but liking it more because it’s “darker and more realistic” compared to Heartstopper which is "much happier" and "unrealistic," To me is so disingenuous because firstly so what? campy shows that feature queer characters deserve to be unrealistic, What's wrong with being unrealistic? Queer media has been subject to the Burry Your Gays narrative for decades or extremely unhealthy tropes and storylines so what's so wrong with having storylines and shows that are unrealistic or extremely happy? (even though the themes in Heartstopper are realistic).

Have you thought about how that may be an intentional choice? Now bare with me here this may be my over-analytic brain at work but Heartstopper has more or less some of the same themes as Young Royals just shot in a very vibrant and colorful manner to showcase how happy and colorful young love is BUT if you actually have watched the show or read the graphic novels you would know the show and graphic novels cover some heavy themes.

SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT……

I want you to keep the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People in mind throughout this...I have a point I promise. Heartstopper is shot in a very poppy colorful way and in my opinion, symbolizes how when you’re young and in love everything feels warm, colorful, and vibrant. While Young Royals doesn't utilize this cinematic style they do use some form of vibrancy to convey tone and emotion. In Young Royals many of the scenes featuring Simon and Willhem's 'good moments' feature the sun especially shining on Simon when Willie is looking at him or whenever they are just in each other's company, this is especially prominent in the last scenes of the last two episodes of season 3.

So while people's criticisms of Heartstopper can be warranted (not saying you can't dislike the show) the comments that it's just so bubbly and bright just aren't true. The last season of Heartstopper saw multiple characters go through traumatic situations and it has been building up that way from the very first scenes in the first season of the show (but for the sake of time I'm only going to discuss both main characters in the two shows) Charlie not only is still struggling with being outed but is also battling with an eating disorder, this is foreshadowed throughout the first two seasons leading up to its inevitable blatant reveal when he is at dinner with Nick and his family where Nick starts to piece together why he is never hungry, passed out on the Paris trip and never finishes his food, which leads his to eventually research the signs of an ED. Nick is also still figuring himself out when it comes to his Bisexuality, while also dealing with the feelings of, feeling abandoned by his father, and having to reckon with the fact his brother is not supportive and dismissive of his sexuality and relationship.

Now before I said keep Pumped Up Kicks in mind that's because while this song has an upbeat, catchy tempo the song actually has a really dark undertone and meaning. So while Heartstopper is shot in a very vibrant colorway most of its characters and content of the show deal with dark themes and it's not all just a happy love story, and if the script for the next season follows the graphic novel closely, then we will see the characters go through even more challenges which also falls inline with the "darker" more emotionally message of the show. So to end this so it doesn't become a dissertation, both shows more or less have the same themes they just exist in two different lanes, I don't know why exactly people are fighting for one to be more valid than the other. When both can exist and be impactful to both or each audience, more queer shows need to exist where the characters are just happy and in love and I need y'all to unpack why you view more doom and gloom (for a lack of a better word) queer shows or movies are more valid than ones where the characters are just happy and have relatively in some aspects great experience when it comes to young love and figuring out one's identity. Sepreatlty why do you want these characters to suffer to find love? Why do characters have to go through something traumatic for their identity to be more valid and for you to relate and want to root for it more versus the latter?

Anyway, this was longer than I intended it to be but I just had to get my thoughts out there. TL;DR: Heartstopper and Young Royals are two great shows and if you think one is better than the other cause it has darker themes you are missing the point or probably objectively missed the dark undertones of the show, and one isn't more valuable than the other.

[womendeservehumanity]

Being aware of how much men hate us makes it hard for me to have any sort of hope. I'm straight (I think??) and I don't think I want to date men at all which is fine because I never dated anyway, but still I yearn for Intimitacy and romance and I can only get that through fiction. You can't be with a man without chopping off a part of yourself first. I wish I were still unaware of how much they hate us, although I think we all know deep down. We choose not to see it in order to...live. it's a heavy burden. What do you with it?

I have never in my life related to something this hard. This sounds like something I’d write omg 😭 I really do feel for you. As someone who has loved romance and romcoms since as long as they could remember, I always had this picturesque idea of relationships. That they were equal. That it wouldn’t even be a question that a man would see women as people and be capable of loving a woman. I thought they viewed women and relationships with women how I and other women view them.

Throughout middle school I had VERY intense crushes. Like I was obsessed lol. I never really comprehended the concept of misogyny and the very warped way men and boys viewed women and girls. I, again just thought they viewed us the way we viewed them. Void of hatred and objectification.

I’ve had one boyfriend in my life and he gave me hope that there were men that were truly capable of loving a woman. That were free of misogyny as much as a man could be. And I truly do think that he loved me and that he’s a good person (pls don’t crucify me radblr). He definitely wasn’t perfect. I didn’t find my unicorn of a man or anything.

Although I had that experience I still have come to the conclusion that it’s not worth it searching for that man who, in a sea of men that do nothing but make women’s lives worse, is a good person and sees me and other women as people deserving of respect. And it’s definitely not the worth the risk. But I still very much feel you on craving intimacy and romance. And it’s so polarizing to innately desire that with your biggest threat.

It’s something I’m still navigating so I can’t give you the most surefire advice or perspective. Women are taught since so young, to center and prioritize romantic relationships above everything. I’ve seen the result, where so many girls have essentially alienated themselves from anything beyond their boyfriend. Identity, relationships, etc. it’s heartbreaking. So I feel like it especially makes the idea of a life without romance seem hard. But familial and platonic relationships are just as valuable. Romance isn’t the endgame and end all be all. There are so many amazing women out there who will show you so much warmth and love in life. And just because it isn’t romantic doesn’t mean it’s not fulfilling.

And I know this is corny and self explanatory but having a relationship and love for yourself is so important. Especially in a world that thinks you don’t deserve that. You do! I practice mindfulness a lot. It helps with feeling grounded and being able to find inner peace. Sometimes I just see how much this world hates women. How much women are suffering globally. How much men truly hate us. To a capacity I could never comprehend a human being feeling. And that the idea of ever being with a man without knowing all of this and him not being apart of the problem is unrealistic. It’s so overwhelming and frustrating at times that it consumes me. And having that mindfulness is why I can still be happy and enjoy life. Another thing. Invest in your hobbies and interests. Take that time for yourself. I love going to the movie theater (my absolute favorite place on this earth) and just leaving everything behind for a 1-2 hours. You deserve that.

Another thing. I still love me a good romcom/romance movie, romance novel, and ship. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with indulging in it. Most of the time it’s made by women for women for the immersion of having that type of love and relationship with a man. Because even non-radicalized women have this silent acceptance that those expectations from a man are ridiculous beyond fiction. I remember a tumblr post noting that that’s why so many men hate and mock the romance genre. The idea of women expecting them to love and express love for them is foolish.

And as I’ve come to realize how men are. Even beyond blatant hatred and violence. Their depthless view of women. How they view sex. It’s just made me not really want a relationship. It’s not that I’m not attracted to them anymore and don’t desire romance but I’ve just lost interest in them. Seeing what that relationship would most likely entail on account of women I’ve seen both in real life and online makes that decision much easier. Women deserve so much more than that.

This was so long I’m sorry 😣 but anon if you’re still here I wish nothing but happiness and love in your beautiful life. Your words truly resonated with me. Still kinda wanting that ignorance to men’s hatred and violence. I think back to those times. When I could never even comprehend a man hating women to the degree I see everyday online. And that they saw us how we saw them. As people. But once you make this realization you can never really come back. I’ve tried in the past. And now I know that it’s in the best interest of myself and other women to not ignore that and live in “blissful” (if you could even call it that) ignorance.

[blimbo-buddy]

Yellowfang/bluestar

Firestar/onestar

Bumble/turtletail

YellowFang/Bluestar

honestly I like it enough. It’s not something I’m nuts over (cause frankly pairings in general are something I don’t care for) but it’s something that I appreciate for what it offers up: Two old women who had lost everything at some point being there for each other.

I think it’s sweet how BlueStar and YellowFang are portrayed in the new ITW Graphic Novel but also unfortunately people don’t care about those moments because I never see waves of posts about that one panel of BlueStar and YellowFang rubbing their faces against each other while blushing; I see waves of posts about stupid fucking FireGrey I don’t care about them. Never does the old woman yuri get any attention it’s always the young man yaoi that gets fans screaming and crying and spam posting about it. Anyways preddy good pairing if I must say so myself.

FireStar/OneStar

I like it in the case of FireStar getting divorced once again and only in that case. I see some portrayals of this done in a way that makes it seem like the final straw that broke them up was OneStar being such an oh so meanie weenie to poor lil FireStar. When really it’s more likely for them to have broken up because OneStar got sick of how FireStar had treated him during the whole Windclan Civil War thing, practically forcing him into the position of leader when he didn’t want it.

it’s something that the fans use to further demonize OneStar. Like yeah he was mean as fuck to FireStar but you’re all annoying as fuck about it and also are wrong in how you view his rudeness towards him

Bumble/TurtleTail

Very solid pairing that I myself enjoy a lot. In recent times though I’ve felt my perception of it change in a little more of a negative light, but in a good way.

don’t get me wrong I really like the idea of a healthy TurtleBumble relationship but knowing what went down with Bumble in the books, it makes me imagine a relationship of the two that started out amazingly but slowly withered away because of TurtleTail practically turning her back against Bumble when she needed help the most. I like the idea of Bumble becoming more and more angry towards her because of this and TurtleTail feeling great amounts of grief and guilt but still unable to fully accept responsibility for Bumbles eventual death. With her even going as far as never truly apologizing to Bumble and kind of dunking on her physical abilities on Bumbles fucking deathbed.

The idea of Bumbles ghost growing angrier at this whole thing is amazing to me and the thought of Bumble herself being scared when she realizes she actually hates TurtleTail now is just -Chefs kiss- perfect.

[teenageread]

Review: It Ends With Us

Initial Thoughts:

Ahh the book that was written for Tik Tok. Seriously, Hoover even had to add a blur at the start of the novel to remind readers to read the first novel first, because that is how the series works. Honestly, Hoover gets a lot of love and hate, but I personally loved It Ends With Us, as Hoover’s take on ending the cycle of domestic abuse. Thus, I was interested to see how Hoover would continue the story now that Lily got herself out of that cycle, along with her and Ryle’s baby Everson. And Hoover continued it. With this novel full of fluff, with a few deep moments, this novel does not ruin the series, but it also adds very little. Sure it was nice to see Atlas and Lily get back together, and experience that familiar type of love again. It was also beautiful to hear from Atlas’s perspective on how much he truly values Lily, but other than that, this novel did not contain a whole lot, nor progress the story any further than the first novel.

Characters

This novel was written from two first-person points of view: Lily and Atlas. Lily’s was the same as the first novel, with thankfully far fewer Ellen entries, and lacking flashbacks to her and Atlas’s past. Sure there were some diary entries read here and there, and even Atlas wrote some letters describing his side of past events, but in general Lily’s voice was the same as it was in the first novel, as she lacked any character development, besides growing the tiniest backbone to Ryle for Emmy’s sake. Reading from Atlas’s perspective, now that was the treat. Hoover wrote Atlas to be a book lover's dream boy by having him be extremely nice to Lily, just wanting to love her, and willing to accept her with all her baggage, including Ryle. He was just good, inside and out, and when Hoover tried to give Atlas his own plot perspectives like his mom coming back, Josh, and even the restaurants, it was nothing to distract him from his love of Lily. He just did it all, and not in an over-the-top way, but just did it, and it kind of made him bland. Don’t get me wrong Atlas’s love for Lily was amazing and what she deserves, but I just wish Atlas held her accountable for things, especially involving Ryle. Like the whole plot point where Ryle thought Lily went to the lawyer, our Atlas really should have pushed her to do that, instead of watching her struggle to handle the emotions of her ex-husband while still trying to live her life. Atlas was good for Lily, but Lily should be better for him, and that is done by getting her stuff together and dealing with the hard issues instead of letting Ryle, her ex-husband, control her life still. Now for everyone's most hated character Ryle, in which I wished Hoover made him more. Either more toxic, or better, Ryle in this novel is the same as the last, where his anger does get the best of him, he shows somewhat remorse, but not a whole lot. I just wish Hoover made him so toxic that he goes to jail, or in recovery where he is doing things to be a better person for his daughter, instead, Hoover has Ryle in the same place as in the last novel. This, like Lily, does not give him any character development, and nothing new for you to root for, or hate against. He is simply the same guy from the last novel with new things to pick fights with Lily about and hurt her in extreme ways.  

Plot

Like the first novel, this book’s main plot is a love story between Lily and Atlas, with a few extra details thrown in the sequel. The first is that Lily’s old love interest, Ryle, is still there and very much present, thanks to the baby that he shares with Lily. This novel has Lily fall in love with Atlas, go on a  few dates, have some drama because Ryle mostly scares Lily to run to Atlas, and so on and so on. Nothing original, and honestly runs pretty much the same as the first novel, only in this one Hoover gives us the impression that Lily will not break up with Atlas 

Writing:

I truly do enjoy Hoover’s writing style, of being easy to read, easy to follow along to, and just light and breezy with a few good moments in there. Perfect, easy read, and honestly the essence of a beach novel, or in this case, a book written for TikTok, as Hoover made that one pretty clear. 

Conclusion: 

Truly did not need this novel, but I am not mad that Hoover did write it. Sure it was all unnecessary, the plot drama unneeded, Atlas’s storyline irrelevant to the main plot. Honestly, Hoover could have attached this epilogue to the epilogue of the first novel and called it quotes, and it honestly would have worked. Sure it was nice to see Lily and Atlas get together, to have the Ryle situation somewhat sorted, and just get more time in this Boston world Hoover created. However, Hoover clearly lacks what makes a sequel a sequel, as they do not extend the world, give us more background of our characters (besides Atlas which they do), or expand the plot, as this novel, like the first one, is another love story where Lily gets to fall in love again, and this time, we hope, she sticks with it, and Atlas is not an abuser like Ryle was.

[otomebanshou]

Opinionated piece on Tengoku Struggle -Strayside-

Below is a very opinionated piece based on my feelings after completing Tengoku Struggle Strayside. Please do not take any of my comments to heart, I just like to ramble and get things off my chest to throw into the void of the internet. Enjoy.

SPOILERS DISCUSSED!!!

Let’s start off with strong feelings. I didn’t like the game. 4/10, I may give it a 5 just for Sharaku being the saving grace of the game to be generous. I was always with the crowd that was down for some longer routes for love interests. This game put that to test for me with 12 chapters (13 for Goemon) for the boys and god damn did it wear me out.

So let’s move on to that. The game is way too fucking long for its own good. Not in a good way is it long, it’s way too damn fluffed up with pointless shit and beating around the bush. I could barely spend quality time that mattered with literally all the guys because the route wanted to push it’s very subpar plotline. 

The plot is atrocious. Not as bad as Charade Maniacs but honestly it was just as insulting. “We need to get the bad guys who escaped hell! …but we can’t fight them.” is honestly a really stupid plot. They had me going for a second, hopeful, that based on how things went down in Sharaku’s route (my first route) that it was all just leading up to a pokemon battle with the route’s villain and Rin was the pokemon trainer. Me, playing it at the time, when I got to the fights with Asaemon, I thought “oh ok! Maybe this is how the game is going to go, that’s cool I guess!” Boy was I fucking wrong. The game doesn’t know where it fucking wants to go other than beat around the bush for 90% of the chapters. 

The routes honestly would’ve been better off at 7 each, 8 for Goemon I guess. Like I said, a lot of the routes spend a majority of the time beating around the bush especially when it comes to feelings and where the fuck the plot is trying to go. Or maybe you’re Kiku and you are bitching and moaning about your sister who hates your guts for 11 chapters. No seriously his route can literally be summarized by: Kiku: Azami! Stop helping the bad guys! 🙁 Azami: ew no I hate you! Kiku: 🙁

Meanwhile, Yona and Sharaku had some of the better routes, developments, and just overall better everything. It doesn’t save the game for me however. It still left me feeling “wtf is the plot actually trying to be” for the entire time. But to give some praise, Yona is a very interesting character and his love for novels, including smutty ones, was a very nice touch that leaves me feeling very fond of him! Sharaku was just wonderful and I really enjoyed how deeply sweet his gestures for Rin were.

JacK, I love you but your route (and your personality) is a bit all over the place. I somehow felt like ranking him as my number 2 because, honestly I don’t know, I just liked him? He definitely had me on a rollercoaster of what the fuck is going on because he’s just so hot and cold and I still don’t really have a grip on who JacK REALLY is. But, like everything else, I’m blaming the writers here.

Finally, Goemon. Disa-fucking-pointing. LOL. He’s not as bad as Kiku, but lmfao, the common route hinted at the fated lovers trope, like a very typical otomate game. Fine ok, I ADORED Akaza so I had some hope. Some faith. DASHED!!!! Goemon is somewhat cute at the very least, questionably obsessed with himself that he kinda sweeps under the rug and never really talks about again, and he’s well liked. But that last part made him kinda boring to be honest. My main issue with him is the route sucked!! Rin and Goemon LITERALLLLLLYY beat around the bush about this whole “I loved you in the previous life” for ELEVEN CHAPTERS. It’s not even like rewarding. Goemon KNOWS and Rin doesn’t. I thought in like chapter 4 or 5 this shit would get cleared up and they’d build into something really amazing. Nah bro Goemon is just like “yeah uwu i really loved this dango shop, the girl there was beautiful uwu” and Rin spends nearly EVERY chapter going “god i wish i was the dango shop, the dango girl, hell the dango he ate ;_;” and Goemon kinda just.. Lets it happen which I found absolutely annoying LOL. I think the only real positive I have for this is Sharaku was funny, no shocker he’s funny in every route, and Goemon’s VA is really good, because otherwise I was really bored. My face when it said: chapter 13 PLEASE JUST END IT PLEASEE I DON’T WANNA KEEP PLAYING THIS SHIT

ALSO THE WRITERS PUSHED IN A RAPE SUBPLOT AND A OUT OF NOWHERE “BETRAYAL(????)” AND IT WAS SO BAD LMFAO like holy moly I felt nothing for that part other than “yup there it is, that's the shit they love to do for no fucking reason WHAT SO EVERRRR”

Ok, we are nearing the end I promise.

Side characters? They ranged from pretty cool to what the fuck is the point of you. 

The coolest? Asaemon, and the couple that I forget the name of. I also kinda like Shin.

Azami is pretty mid tbh. She’s just a bratty girl. Nothing really new.

Shinobikuni is the most disappointing villain? Like she literally… did nothing. Lmao @ the ending where she just kinda lets Goemon win without a fight like “lol you got me i guess!”

Lol Mukkun wtf, the whole betrayal was so short lived it lasted like 2 minutes before it just… moved on… and changed the villain… LOL…………………

And then the white haired dude I forgot the name of. He was actually ok until… yeah lmfao wtf. I honestly couldn’t really even be mad at him because it just was such a sudden and weird choice that I just… didn’t feel anything. I was more mad at the TERRIBLE decision here. And so fucking out of nowhere like why? Actually I know why, it’s only purpose was to cause shock and I’m so disappointed.

The characters who stole the show are obviously King Enma and Mr. Corporate slave. XD They were the most enjoyable and honestly very intriguing of the cast. Always bringing humor to the table and overall brightening up my glum mood from a shitload of pointless text that brought nothing to the table. King Enma was a delight, I wish his presence was more prominent in the game.

Now, Rin.

She’s honestly just ok. The eventual background information about her that you get, obviously, from Goemon’s route was ok. I was kinda with it but that was ruined by how Goemon’s route ended up. Sometimes I really liked Rin then other times I was kinda bored with her. Not that she’s bad or I think she’s a deadpan MC, just… I don’t know, I didn’t really end up loving her. She was just ok. The whole man hating thing makes sense now but I feel more bad for her in the sense I can’t believe the writers just did that to her randomly. I don’t think I’ll ever be over it.

I forgot the cat. He was ok I guess. I wasn’t crazy about him. Did chuckle a few times at the dick biting jokes tho.

Last thing, I did *most* of the memory stuff extras, but tbh after Goemon’s bullshit route, I was just so fed up with the game I skipped about the last 25% of them. I completed them by force skipping. I just couldn’t anymore with the game. It was already so long and I was so drained by the game’s refusal to just.. End things.

So yeah. 4/10, other people will probably like it. I also didn’t really think Birushana was a very interesting game, but a lot of people really like Birushana. So, to each their own. I'm happy the game was localized and am thankful for everyone who worked on the game!

That’s it! If you read this far, you get a gold star sticker from me and I’m sorry for my opinionated piece/rant. lol

[redjadethewriter]

Learn To Separate The Person From Their Work: It Will Spare You From Future Disappointment (Creative Careers)

Today, I want to discuss the topic of separating the work from the person. As someone who creates things - whether it be art, fantasy stories, poems, or anything else - I believe that the work I do is distinct from who I am as a person. The reason I bring up this topic is that of the revelations surrounding many artists and their dark secrets. These individuals, known for their work and influential movements in art, music, and other fields, have faced exposure for committing horrible acts, some more sinister than others. Even certain members in the mental health and science field are not the best human beings and they do horrible things, especially to the people in their lives. Some even display psychopathic traits, yet they are globally esteemed figures all over the media. It blows my mind how people fall into the traps of these predators. I think because I’ve met so many predators in my lifetime; I have a sixth sense for them now. But let me move on from this because this would become a 100-page essay if I went in-depth into it.

Storytime:

During my childhood, my grandmother, a war survivor, imparted to me the most important life lesson because of her immense love for me. It was at the tender age of 7 when she advised me not to trust people so easily. At that time, I didn’t fully grasp the weight of her words. However, as I grew older, I began to understand the significance, especially after hearing my mom’s stories about men dressed in stereotypical mafia attire frequently visiting my grandfather and other unsettling issues within our family. I have a sense that my grandmother carried many dark secrets to her grave. These revelations made me appreciate the value of her advice even more as I encountered various situations in my own life. After all, one can never truly discern someone’s true intentions.

This is why I question a lot and I don’t overlook the details in anyone’s character.

But back to separating the person from their work.

Personally, I have never been star-struck by meeting celebrities, famous writers, singers, or artists. While I appreciate their work, I am not a fan of them as individuals. In fact, I’m not a fan of anyone. Even in school, when asked about my most inspirational figure, I struggled to answer truthfully. Instead, I would give the stereotypical response of “Oh, my mother” or “Oh, my father” because, growing up there was really no real role model to look up to, because a good portion of the people I've known all my life have their skeletons.

The exposure of certain famous painters as predators did not surprise me. In fact, I felt a sense of satisfaction because it meant that people would no longer hold these individuals in high regard. However, there is still the matter of the work they have created. Despite their personal flaws, their work holds significance.

In today’s world, people often go crazy over musicians, actors, and influencers from social media platforms. However, I find it hard to understand why they see the person and their work as one entity. While they can do amazing work, it doesn’t mean they are amazing once the cameras are off. I’m going to use the Thai GL’s I’ve been watching as an example. Recently I watched the show called “Blank The Series.” The performances of the two actresses truly stood out, and it was the reason I enjoyed the series and the written work. But I question a lot on why would the original writer write about a major age gap, especially in the novel, the actual age of the characters was 18 and 34, I might be wrong, but in the show they increased the age to 20 and 36. Don’t get me wrong, as long as its two consenting adults entering a romantic relationship fine, but I do question it no matter how good or popular the story was. Even with Fifty Shades of Grey, I question a lot, because the character Grey was an extremely abusive and possessive character, and what inspired that book was Twilight, which Edward was an abusive and narcissistic as well. Let me tell you, writers have their major flaws like anyone else. Even in my stories, I openly admit, I’m writing characters that are people that do horrible things and make huge mistakes.

But back to actors in Blank The Series, regardless of their personal lives, they bring believability and entertainment to every scene. I’m impressed. Despite this, I know nothing about the personal lives of these actresses, yet people go crazy shipping them together in real life. I laugh about this a lot and think, do you know how long actors and film crew have to work together? The lines get blurred, but once the work is done, they separate and that’s it. However, I can understand the chemistry between Charlotte and Engfa in the show “Show Me Love,” even though their acting skills may have not been the best, but their actual personal chemistry saved that messy series. However, it doesn’t mean they won’t improve their craft over time, while exploring different fields. It’s important to recognize that a lot of their public appearances, especially with other Thai stars or even in the US entertainment industry, they are just acting for marketing purposes. Even actors with social media accounts are constantly promoting something because that’s their job. So, we don’t really see who they truly are as individuals. Some celebrities come across as arrogant, while some famous comedians may have hilarious stand-up acts but reveal themselves to be absolute assholes when you delve deeper into the context of their skits. Nevertheless, we still enjoy their work in films and shows, which are all fictional. It’s a conundrum because, many of these individuals their involvement in things is questionable. Yet, we continue to appreciate their work.

Now, I have to admit that some of the Thai actresses from GL’s seem incredibly sweet. I don’t want to delve into scrutinizing them as individuals, but focus on reviewing the characters they portray and their performances. The shows I’ve watched have been delightfully light-hearted, which is refreshing for once. I prefer if the universe keeps their personal lives and potential skeletons in the closet, and stays locked in there until I’m tired of watching Thai GL. Although that may not be soon, though. For once in my dang life, I feel sorry for these actresses, who are subjected to the dark abyss of obsessive fans, but that comes with the territory. Regardless, they might eventually get ripped apart mentally and emotionally from it all, and that saddens me. Oh my gosh, I have a heart. Dang! The coldness has thawed because of Thai actresses. That’s fuckin’ new to me… Ok… Fuck… I guess I’m a fan now, and I’ve totally contradicted myself into Thai GL oblivion. Stoic mask, don’t fail me now. ***Just kidding***

While I’m still on the subject, I think most of the actors in LA are stark-raving mad as fuck. They are so detached from reality. Speaking of which, I still find it amusing how Swifties defend Taylor Swift fiercely. It’s mind-boggling to think that anyone would dare say or do anything negative towards her. I’m convinced that those who do so would risk losing their entire careers and perhaps even have to move to the moon. It’s quite hilarious, really. However, to conclude this blog post, I believe it’s often best to separate the work of an artist from the person themselves. This approach saves us from potential disappointment down the line and if they were to discover that the artist has committed terrible acts and so on, it won’t be so cruel on our souls.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t place anyone on a pedestal; these artists, actors, musicians, writers and so on, are simply human beings like the rest of us. They have flaws, darkness, secrets, traumas, and who knows what else. I hope you understand what I’m trying to convey.

Later.

[hazelcephalopod]

The Great Hunt Ch 31: On the Scent

Cairhien Sun symbol.

Reunions are had and plans are lay what new adventures await our poor little guys and very cool autistic granny?

disclaimer: there will be spoilers, I will tag them but this is a book from 30 years ago that I am desperately trying to finish. I am very ADHD and this helps me do that. Also, it’s my first read thru but I am somewhat familiar with the story and what is going to happen, probably not enough to not be surprised tho. Happy reading! 

All WOT spoilers. 

Rand POV

OH! Verin is the Reader. Well that’s not a Wisdom, but an Aes Sedai kinda is! (Sp: this is wrong)

“Lord Rand of House al’Thor.” Tragic main character disease and a nice coat continues to plague this poor Shepard. 

Oh no he thinks he’s done. Oh you poor sweet dipshit

Love how they do behave like a DnD party but we get the narration that no, NPCs are listening and reacting to this very suspicious and concerning conversations happening in the middle of the street. 

Mat: (summarizes the last few weeks for him)… & where the hell have you been? Rand: Perrins a what?!

Ah. Nvm Verin and the Reader are in fact separate people. Still Verin is here!

Inn found: The Great Tree. Innkeeper: Mistress Tiedra. 

Hurin didn’t smell any Trollocs and tbh I’m not sure there ever were any. Sry Rwnd my guy, I still support most of your wrongs. 

… I don’t think Rand is doing well. Like, this is a lot of suspicion. Which is somewhat reasonable but… idk. This is all a lot for anyone and uh, he’s more than anyone regrettably for him

Warm baths are nice tho aren’t they! 

“…he chose the black coat, to suit his mood…”

Fucking “Selene”… this poor guy (just in general not just her, but also her). 

I almost envy Rand. Got mail? Just burn all of it. No mail. Nor responsibilities. Nor choices to make. Just burn it! It’s flammable! 

“Mat was juggling three boiled eggs and trying to appear nonchalant.” A) how? He’s juggling!; b) who is he trying to nonchalantly impress here exactly? 

Really enjoy Loial having pockets large enough for presumably sizable books. 

Switch POV: Perrin. 

Really appreciate leaning into “who knows what and how do they view those things?” Here. 

I am astounded still that it is book 2(!) and magic portals and different worlds have just been dropped like “yup there’s countless other worlds sorta like ours. And teleportation. Anywayyyy….!”

Verin hearing about “Selene” and the portal stones and shit thinking: this is weird and fucking suspicious. “Hey—”

Mmm delicious meal. Oh and we are back to remembering Mat is dying and other sadness? 

Hey! It’s “The Travels of Jain Farstrider”!

Lord Barthanes… hmm. Familiar…

“There are Darkfriends among the high as well as the low.” -Verin. What an interesting thing to say my beloved autistic granny.  

Barthanes Damodred?! Well of course the rumor would be enough. Tbh if the king was smart he’d have the rumor started for the express purpose of destroying Barthanes. You’d think it would make the king suspicious but I’m not so sure anymore that anyone would care or notice. 

“The more he found out about kings, the less he liked them.” -Perrins thoughts. Yup, a shit for sure. 

Rand like: dammit Hurin how will I burn those letters now! 

It’s like a heist thing! Gotta get in and do the things to the rich guy/s! 

That’s not dignity Perrin it’s fear and discomfort. With a good dash of “I hate this” but because of the former. 

Amazing! Verin: looks at the kings letter “well this is trash” burns it. I love her. 

“People see what they expect to see.” -Verin. Truer words madam. 

5!? These fuckers are obsessed with Rand! Rand! (I mean I think he’s adorable but really?)

Oh oh right. So, uh Barthanes has the horn. That’s what the heist is for. It is a literal heist. I mean, this book has almost everything. We got to a heist, we started with an adventure novel, survival, several other things, and now also a heist. I probably should have mentioned -or tbh realized- this earlier. 

Oh right the giant ass buried statues. Which are apparently the largest of the sa’angreal which can be used by channelers and seem very powerful. The one we’ve seen can only be used by men. There’s two in total. Hmm… I’m sure they couldn’t be important at all. The womens one is on Tremalking. Wherever that is. Apparently they were created as weapons which were never used. So. Probably not important at all. /s

I am sure rn Rand is terrified but this is overpowered by him suspecting the ancient statutes are (somehow) part of the plot to control him and still trying to convince himself he is not the Dragon. Mmm mmm nope. This is all part of the plot to frame him as a false dragon. Nothing else. 

Well what a relief they must be used in tandem to Break the World but one wonders how much damage they could do alone?! /s (the big ass sa’angreal)

… you need to be very powerful to use them. Whose that powerful? No *widely* known man, and several women including Moiriane. No worries until the Dragon proclaims himself. *stares off into the distance suspiciously close to Rand* surely no Aes Sedai would help with that tho right? (Yes sure Verin. Wait did she lie…? No… no I think not)

Perrin, Rand knows less than you think you do. By far. And you admit to not knowing much. I mean technically Rand knows a lot, but tbh I feel like he’s too in denial to actually use that information. 

Another great chapter. Bands back together. Verin is here. They are going to do a heist in a nobles house for the Horn which rests on Rand’s shoulders, and his impeccable half-hated new wardrobe of three very nice coats. More letters were burned. Everyone is loosing it a little bit imo. Absolute a+’s all around. 

[shdo-xplosion]

CURRENTLY READING: the mountain in the sea

by ray nayler

THOUGHTS ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

while reading: very interesting concept. communication is the key to the story and is shown in so many different ways, so many different mediums. it’s a fun motif to watch out for. the characters are compelling, and i don’t get tired of the switching since i’m interested in every story being told. the writing style is easy to follow which isn’t to say it’s simple, but it isn’t overly-complex. i only start to get a little lost when they start diving into rustem’s science-y stuff, and i think that’s kind of the point. halfway through, and while i have an idea of who the “big bad” is, i feel like there’s room for more.

very much enjoying it so far and am already recommending it to my partner!

thoughts once finished (spoilers): i have conflicting feelings about this book. on one hand, i’m unsatisfied with the ending because it feels a little abrupt. on the other hand, it seems like the author ended it exactly the way he wanted to, like he saw something i don’t. and it’s a good ending, don’t get me wrong. loose ends are tied up. there’s a nice bittersweet lesson to be learned. and there’s hope! i guess my biggest hang up is that i want more. i could have read another 400 pages of the book and still not be satisfied, i bet.

anyway. the characters were wonderful. i very quickly grew extremely fond of evrim which was weird because ai actually freaks me out a lot. this book made me appreciate it a little more while also making me even more scared of the technology (lol). i liked ha a lot, admired her. that said, the secret she reveals toward the end is kind of underwhelming in my opinion, especially since it follows evrim’s big vision. that was probably the only scene in the whole novel that felt kind of weak, maybe a little ham-fisted. but then it ended with a wholesome holding of hands so it’s all okay!

rustem was fun to read about. i think i liked his storyline the best, but i enjoyed the interactions in ha’s sections. i’ve always been very interested in brains so his scenes were great, both because of his occupation and just the way his own mind works.

the mountain in the sea is categorized as sci-fi but i feel like this book could also fall under the mystery category because so many questions arise while reading, so many puzzles you want to solve alongside the characters. the concept of consciousness was intriguing and made me stop and think about my own idea of what it is. the communication theme is beautiful and something that everyone could stand to look deeper into. it’s also a very different and original take on culture as a whole, going past the limitations of humans and into a completely different species.

in the end, what i take away from the book is the fact that everything capable of thought has its own life and experiences. sonder. it’s easy to only think about yourself, but there’s so much more than just us in the world. science is amazing, yes, but so is nature.

a solid recommendation from me.

dove’s book club here (ෆ ͒•∘̬• ͒)◞

[moemoemammon]

I just found ur blog and read thru some of ur stuff and im in love !! Ur writing is nice to read, and always gives a nice picture of the situation

If its aight, could u do some headcannons for the demon bros Finding out mc goes real hard on housekeeping ? Im talking fast and good cleaning, does chores without problems, propably even cleans after them (totally doesnt mother them in anyway), all without complaint, mc just cares

Housekeeper MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

The fact that he didn't have to shove a mop and bucket into your hands like the evil stepmother has him like 👀👀

Out of every person he's met, you and Barb are the only ones that actually enjoy cleaning? And now he's wondering if you've been influenced by him in some way because got damn are those floors sparkling-

Ever since you've arrived, the house has been immaculate. But as much as he enjoys that, he worries that you aren't leaving enough chores for his brothers to do.

They're gonna be lazy at this rate, especially if you keep cleaning up after them like that. He's planning to sit you down and have a good talk about how you should rest a bit, and- D...did you polish his desk????

"MC... as grateful as I am to you, I thought I asked you to rest? You don't have to clean every little thing in this house. You're here as our guest, and more, so I won't have you behaving like a maid. But if you're that interested in keeping your hands busy, you may feel free to maintain my desktop. It looks as good as new, thanks to you."

Mammon

Oh, so you're one of THOSE types, huh? The goody goodies that like to make everything clean and sparkly, huh?? Well don't expect him to help ya!

Was an asshole at first. Made messes to see if you'd clean them, tried to dump his chores on you, etc. But now that you've stolen his heart? Yeah, he wants you to sit down.

You're messing up your hands with all that time spent scrubbing crevices and dusting ugly old paintings, when you could be spending time with him!

Tch, that's it! If it's chores that're keeping you from looking his way, he'll just finish them before you can do anything! Checkmate!

"You're always scrubbin' somethin'! Let my brothers take care of the messes, while YOU sit down and watch this movie with me! Ain't no point in watchin' it by myself, so I ain't takin' no for an answer!" "Huh?? Waddya mean 'when was the last time I vacuumed'??"

Levi

Oi oi oi...! What do you think you're doing with that feather duster?! You don't think you've got the right to approach his figures with it, do you?! WRONG!

But you quickly discover how ticklish Levi is, and he squirms out of your way while watching in horror as you... delicately handle every figure? And dust them from top to bottom, without so much as an accessory out of place..?

Wait... are you seriously okay with picking up all that trash?? S-some of it's sticky from all the junk food, and- Gah! Don't go messing around in his closet!!!

Yeahhh Levi doesn't let you clean his room lmao. It's way too stimulating to watch you carefully touch every surface in his room... I-it's like you're heaven everything with your presence, and...

"S-so yeah! The only things you're allowed to clean are the figures and the outside of Henry's tank! Nothing else, got it?! Anything more and I seriously won't be able to handle it...I won't even be able to sit still in my own room......." 👉👈

Satan

Satan found it funny how willing you were to take up every little chore there was to be done in the house and he's got to admit, reading is much more enjoyable in a tidy environment.

But what he REALLY wants to know is how you managed to dust off every single book in the house, his room included, without him?? Knowing?? And you've done every shelf as well, cleaned out the cobwebs behind it, and even repaired that little tear in the upholstery of his favorite arm chair????

Has also deduced that you're probably the maid character in the books that knows everything. Actually, you're a lot like Barbatos. What secrets are you hiding human 🔫

Just kidding. But yeah, when you insist on dusting his room, he follows you around the room and watches you. You know, just in case you fall or something falls on you! No other reason.

"As much as I like having you here all to myself, it makes me feel bad watching you do that by yourself. Why don't you we clean together? We'll get it done twice as fast, and when we're finished, I'd like to read a book to you. You remind me of a certain character from a murder mystery novel I've started."

Asmo

Eeehhh?!?!? You've seriously managed to organize both his endless skin care product collection, and his ENTIRE wardrobe?!? You're amazing...!

And you don't stop there. You were more than happy to clean his tub for him and everything, and you know how hard it is to get oil off the side of a tub, right? You're a lifesaver!

Asmo casually pawns off his chores too you. Oh, he just did his nails! Can you do the dishes? Ah, he just bought this outfit. Can you take out the trash? He's about to go out with his friends to a party, so be a dear and take care of the common bathroom for him?

Lucifer scolds the shit out of him every time he catches him doing that. You're welcome. But don't think Asmo won't repay you! He'll give you so much love, you'll be drowning in it! Figuratively or literally, depending on your preferences-

"Fufufu... if you wanted my attention, you should've just told me! You didn't have to go tidying up my shoe collection, but I'm happy you did~! If you keep spoiling me like this, I might not be able to keep my hands off of you! Unless... that's what you wanted?"

Beel

Things tend to get pretty messy with Beel around, with the trail of crumbs he always leaves in his wake, and how he manages to get every surface he touches sticky. But you must be a miracle worker...

You're like a living roomba, and his ravenous appetite is no match against your cleaning skills! You seem to predict when the food bits will fall, and it's thanks to you that he can eat without a care in the world!

It's actually kind of scary, though. He'll drop a bite of his sandwich and move down to retrieve it to eat, and... it's gone. Poof. Into the ether of the garbage can...

You can still rest once in a while though, you know? Beel offers to help you with the cleaning, and he's more than happy to let you climb up his shoulders to reach those high places. It makes him happy to know he can lend a hand.

"MC, I already cleaned over here so you don't have to do it. I cleaned there, too. That means you don't have anything else to do, so why don't you have a lunch break with me? It's not good to work so hard all the time."

Belphie

Belphie's one for the more observant brothers, so your clean freak habits didn't go unnoticed. He didn't know if you were obsessed with cleaning, or if you genuinely enjoyed it, but at least you were doing it without a fuss?

And man did you do a good job. Everywhere you cleaned was left with the lingering smell of vanilla and lavender, and... you know, the smell is making him sleepy.

Every pillow his head touches seems especially fluffy, too! When he found out you made a regular habit of washing and fluffing them, and they smell amazing... He feels like he's laying on a cloud...

He won't admit it genuinely, but he really does love what you're doing with the place. It makes him feel a little fuzzy inside when he finds his pillow on his bed, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. He clings to it extra tight those nights.

"You know if you keep this up, I might prefer the pillows to your lap. Ah, but don't worry, I don't really mean it. There's no way a pillow could replace you, no matter how good it smells. I think."

[iguessitsjustme]

There is an interesting phenomena happening lately across multiple shows where there has been an increase in viewers of BL reading the novels that the shows are based off of. I’m not entirely sure why that is, I certainly have theories, but I don’t have the data to back any of them up (I am willing to share my theories if asked but they’re not particularly relevant here). But regardless, it’s definitely happening where a large number of viewers will find a translation of a BL novel and read it before watching the show. And don’t get me wrong, that’s amazing! I am certainly not complaining that people are reading these novels. I will always advocate for more reading, especially from authors from different cultures.

I personally do not read the novels for the shows I’m watching. I have done it a couple of times, but it’s extremely rare that I will go out of my way to find the novels. There’s a few reasons for this. First and foremost is that I find the unofficial fan translations difficult to read and I would rather pay for an official translation of the novels that have to go through multiple checks and also I would like to support the authors by purchasing the novels. I know. I know that we’re just not there yet for BL where there are official translations, but I still can’t bring myself to read the unofficial ones. I really struggled getting through the fan translation of Bite Me, and there was a specific reason I read that one, but we’ll get into this in a bit. 

Another reason that I don’t read the novels is because, truthfully, I just want to watch the shows. I enjoy watching week to week and needing to wait to see what happens. I enjoy experiencing these shows along with everyone else watching. Even if I don’t particularly like the show, I enjoy watching and critiquing it along with others. And that is where this issue and clash starts coming into play. 

Whenever I’m watching a show, I watch it with a critical eye. An analytical gaze, if you will. So oftentimes, what happens is I’ll come across a show that I’m enjoying overall, but something about the show isn’t working for me. Whether that be a character, a plot line, soundtrack, etc. That is when I’ll critique the show (different than hate but that’s another post). Now it’s important to note that what I am critiquing is the show, not the novel. I can’t possibly critique the novel that the show is based off of if I haven’t read it. I also wouldn’t feel comfortable critiquing an unofficial translation (again, that’s another post).

So when anyone makes a post critiquing a show, it is actually irrelevant to bring up the novel as an argument against the critique. I understand that the novel might provide additional context that the show is missing, but that’s kind of the point. The show is missing the context. And that’s the clash. The show and the novel are two completely separate pieces of media. By the very nature of the medium that is portraying the story, it’s going to be different. So the show needs to be able to hold up without relying on people having read the novel. If I need to read the novel to get the necessary context for any aspect of any story that I am consuming through the medium of a show (or movie), then that show has inherently failed at what it set out to do. Which is to tell a cohesive story. I’d also argue that a lot of the shows that people constantly like to bring up the novel for, actually do work as a cohesive story and don’t need the context that people are trying to provide. 

A critique of a show doesn’t necessarily mean that the show is bad or missing anything. A critique is simply something that caught someone’s attention when they were watching and reading into the scene. It is a criticism based on a close reading of a scene, a character, etc. And most often, those criticisms are presented by people with the knowledge and skill set to be able to do that. (For instance, I have a degree and professional experience doing close reads of texts). Critiques are not asking for additional context from the novel. They aren’t asking how it is or what happened in the novel (unless explicitly stated that they want to know).

 It’s important that we, as the viewers, are able to draw that distinction between novel and show because they are ultimately different. A critique for the show might not be the same for the novel, but that’s the point. They are different and they can’t be consumed the same way. I would certainly approach a close reading of a novel very differently than I would a show. I’d actually probably be a lot harsher on a novel than when I’m critiquing a show. Which is another reason I’m not particularly comfortable reading unofficial fan translations. It wouldn’t be fair to the author or the translator to have me read it the way I normally would. 

And that brings me to my last point. I have read a few of these novels and the only one I ever posted about was Bite Me. And I kept those posts on my own blog. I did not go to someone else’s post or blog and “well actually” them about how it happened in the novel. Because they are two separate things and I recognize that not everyone has read the novel nor would want to know and it’s not my place to tell them how to view their media. 

If you want to read the novel, that’s fine, wonderful even! More power to you. I’m so thankful we live in a time where it’s possible and that there are awesome fans out there who put in the enormous amount of work it takes to translate things. But if you do read the novel, please remember: it is not the same as the show, someone critiquing the show is not asking for your opinion on what happened in the novel, and it is always best to make your own posts if you want to talk about the novel. That last point is especially important. People can always filter tags or block/unfollow people that they disagree with or who post novel spoilers, but that doesn’t work when people go to someone else’s post or blog to say it. 

And last but not least, it’s just common courtesy not to give out book spoilers for currently airing shows. It’s 2022 and we should all know better by now. Unless a spoiler is asked for, do not give one. 

[bluedalahorse]

Respectfully disagree here with anon re: point #3 about Sara and August, and I hope you don’t mind me turning your tomatoes into a tasty marinara or pizza sauce for my dinner tonight.

Yes, Sara and August are heterosexual and we do already have a lot of straight relationships in media. And yes, to some extent sargust does play to a Jane Eyre story pattern that’s out there and that has been copied by many writers. But Sara’s AuDHD adds a dimension to their story that makes it unique and important, in my opinion. Romances featuring ND characters are still quite rare. Quite often, neurodivergent characters have been portrayed as undesirable romantic partners or disconnected from romance and sex just in general, and often this comes with a gross helping of infantilization for that character. Sara experiencing a requited first love, experiencing desire as both a subject and object, and navigating her first relationship—problematic though that relationship is—counteracts that ableist narrative. We’re starting to see more neurodivergent characters in romantic relationships, but still not a lot. Quinni from Heartbreak High and Lily from Sex Education are the other two examples I can think of off the top of my head.

In my own personal media habits, I’ve already enjoyed and shipped a fair amount of stories centered on canonically same-sex pairings (ask me for gay book recs and I will provide!) but I have fewer options for romances involving canonically neurodivergent characters of any orientation. I very much love Wilhelm and Simon, although for me personally I also find that their canonical queerness feels less novel for me than other aspects of their storyline. (It’s still important, but I don’t think their queerness alone would pull me in.) Whereas Sara’s neurodivergence and the way it’s handled by the text feels more novel to me and less like something I’ve seen other places. In addition, here on tumblr there’s so much fanwork and analysis and excitement I can join in on and vibe with people about when I want to enjoy Wilmon, or when I want to think about them outside the framework of the twelve episodes we have so far. And I do love that, don’t get me wrong! I am often more than satisfied when scrolling my dash for Wilmon content. That said, there’s far far less of that for sargust—understandably so, but it’s very common for me to be scrolling my dash with a craving for sargust fanworks or headcanons that don’t exist in abundance. (Shout out to @all-things-sargust for holding down the fort and doing amazing work, by the way. Your blog is a highlight of my fandom experience!)

And yes, I am aware of the toxicity of sargust, and that it’s too much for some people. That’s super valid if that’s you! Me, I’ve enjoyed a broad range of ships, from softer pairings like Tara and Darcy, to more adventurous, justice-and-learning oriented ones like Uriel and Little Ash in When the Angels Left the Old Country, to ridiculous academic rivals like Rowan Roth and Neil McNair in Today Tonight Tomorrow, to more disastrous ones (look, sometimes it is 2005 and a girl watches HBO Rome and very much thinks Antony and Vorenus should fuck.) So for me the moral questions that sargust raise and the messiness is absolutely 100% part of their draw. I get why other people would find them boring for their straightness, and that’s cool if that’s you, but as someone drawn in by all the other things going on with them, I find them anything but boring. So I suppose it’s all a matter of taste in the end!

1. wille and simon are teenagers with raging emotions. ofc they’re gonna fall fast and hard

2. their relationship did not progress as fast as the show makes it seem. each season covers a period of roughly 2 months or so, which drastically changes the way some scenes with them can be viewed. although we don’t see every interaction between them, it’s clear that they had developed a friendship and crush weeks before they’d even kissed. and their grief over losing their relationship in season 2 is also a lot longer than what we would think. because they didn’t just know and have feelings for each other for a few weeks. we’re talking about a couple months of development between them. that’s why the grief period was so intense for them both

3. august and sara are a straight couple. hate to say it but even in queer media straight relationships tend to get undeserved prioritization. i, personally, don’t think we needed to see every damn interaction between them. especially since their “love” story isn’t original at all. we’ve seen that kind of forbidden and betrayal-laced relationship in tons of movies/tv shows before so honestly, i just think it was a matter of them being straight and BORING. boo tomatoes tomatoes 🍅

.

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (5) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues…

Rating: E (18+ only)

Warnings: age gap (legal), dilf!frankie, praise kink, voice kink, size kink, low self esteem, discussion of addiction/ptsd/trauma/triggers, divorce drama, no use of y/n, no beta reader, DDLG🎀, unprotected piv sex, oral m and oral f, hickies galore👅, mild BDSM (cuffs⛓, choking).

Masterlist here

AN: Whatta ride... but all things come to an end🥺. i'm blown away by the support for this fic. Thank you all 💕.

Chapter Five

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie had his own mental list of stuff he needed to do before you would arrive. He dunged out his closet to make room for your clothes. It was long overdue. He had a lot of things he didn’t wear anymore that needed to go. He went out and bought some more plates and silverware since his two plates and Rosie’s plastic plates would not do. He no longer looked around his home with a sense of loneliness, now he pictured all the places you could fit in. He could see you reading by the window in the living room so he bought a comfy new chair to put there. He noticed your small plant collection in your apartment and thought you’d maybe like a bigger one in the back yard so he bought a planter box.

He was reading your novel, titled Our Little Kingdom, while your candle burned. You didn't give it to him at first. While you were in the bathroom and Frankie washed your dishes, he noticed a stack of papers poking out in the trash. It was your manuscript. When you came back and saw him reading it you tried to take it back but Frankie insisted and you caved. It was good. Frankie wasn't just saying that because he loved you. He could see how great writers had influenced you and still it was uniquely your voice. The story, too, was compelling. He couldn't help but imagine you as the protagonist as she was just as sweet and clever.

You were making good progress on your list. You had put in your two weeks notice and started to applying to jobs in Miami. You enjoyed working with veterans so you hoped you could do something similar again. As two weeks went by you were disappointed you still hadn't heard back from job interviews. Packing was a little more difficult. You didn’t know what was worth taking and what was worth leaving. You knew Frankie had most everything already so it was a matter of picking your most special things. The rest you were slowing taking to Goodwill in batches.

You had completely forgotten you sent your book in to publishers until a flurry of emails came in on the same day.

Frankie woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He sat up pulling the phone towards him. It was you. Why would you be calling so late? Maybe something was wrong?

“Frankie?” You sounded congested. He heard a sniffle. Frankie furrowed his brow at that.

“Hey. Is everything all right?”

“ They-they-“ you could barely get it out “they rejected me.”

“Who?”

“All of them. All of the book agencies.” You threw yourself onto your bed, hot tears running down your face.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, sweet pea.” Frankie didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. He thought your book was amazing. He sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. “They’re idiots. Every one of them.”

“They’re experts, Frankie.” You felt more tears leak from your eyes. “Maybe I’m just not a good writer. Maybe-Maybe-" You hiccuped and low cry slipped from your mouth. You covered your mouth, taking in raking breaths. It was agony to admit this to him when he believed in you most. You felt like you had let him down. Frankie's heart literally ached in his chest as he listened to your quiet weeping over the phone. He waited for you to continue, feeling his own eyes grow misty.

“Don’t disappear on me, little pea. Let me hear that voice of yours.”

You were unable to speak. Scared of what may come out. You felt like your walls were closing in around you and mocking you. How did you ever think you could be a writer like all your favorite authors? You were so stupid, you thought.

“I let you down.” You said shakily.

“No no no, little pea.” Frankie said quickly. “You could never let me down. I don’t need to a book agent to tell me you’re a good writer. I know you’re writing is beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”

His praise caused another wave of tears from you.

“Daddy…” You bawled.

“I hear you, baby.” Frankie heard his own voice shake with emotion. He never hated the distance more than he did in this moment. He needed to wrap you up in his arms. “Close your eyes, sweet pea. Use that big imagination of yours. Pretend I’m there with you.”

“Imagination isn’t good enough, daddy.” You blubbered, fat tears slipping from your eyes.

“I know, baby.” Frankie’s heart was breaking. “But try for me okay?”

You clamped your eyes shut and tried to focus in on his breathing on the other end of the phone. Frankie did the same, closing his eyes.

“Good, sweet pea. Focus on daddy.” He wished he was there to comfort you, wrap you up in his arms and shield you from the cruel cruel world. “I’m next to you. I’m holding you so tight.”

“Hold me tighter!” You begged holding your pillow pet to your chest.

“Okay. I just did.” Frankie whispered closing his eyes as if it would be more real. “Feel that?”

“Yeah…” A moment went by as you steadied your breathing. Tears eventually stopped falling, drying against your cheeks. Frankie’s steady breathing anchored you.

“I loved your book. It was really really good. And fuck it, I’ll publish it myself.” Frankie couldn't help but raise his voice.

“Silly.” You sniffled.

“I’m serious, sweet pea. Who needs those stuck up assholes.”

“Hmm yeah, you’re right.” You agreed, voice softening with sleepiness. You pushed your face into your pillow. You could still smell Frankie if you really focused. "I miss you, Frankie."

"I miss you, too."

"I still haven't heard from any jobs. And- maybe I'm just not good enough and-" You felt more tears fill your eyes.

"Shhh shhh" Frankie interrupted "Listen to me. You are the best. The right thing will turn up i'm sure of it."

"But it's the only thing left on the list!"

"I know..." Frankie pulled over your copy of the list that you wrote for him. He had crossed things off as you reported to him. "Let's see if they get back to you tomorrow." Maybe he was being too hard on you, making you get a job first. He only wanted to put it on there to give you some independence over the move. He didn't want you to feel like you had nothing to do once you got here.

Frankie waited until your breathing evened out. He called your name quietly. When he got no response he assumed you fell asleep. He didn’t want to hang up. He missed you so fucking much and he felt helpless.

When he woke up the next morning, he said goodbye to Rosalia as usual, called in sick, and started driving north. Fuck the list. You were coming home with him now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course Frankie called you telling you he was on his way. You felt bad for making him miss work but your excitement overpowered any guilt. You set a timer for 14 hours and started packing with new energy. Your eyes were still puffy from your tears last night. But you repeated what Frankie said like a mantra. Who needs those stuck up assholes. There were tons of ways to self publish nowadays. It didn’t have to be through a publishing house.

When you ran out of things to clean up and pack, you watched out the window waiting to see Frankie’s blue pick up. You had changed into sleep shorts and a t shirt. While you had a plan to dress more sexy you ended up accidentally packing that surprise in one of the boxes earlier today. It was getting dark when Frankie finally pulled up. He looked exhausted but still… Frankie. He was wearing his favorite hat and grey t shirt. You ran down to the street to meet him. He’s pulling empty boxes from the bed of the truck when he sees you sprinting towards him.

“Sweet pea!” He smiled as you launched yourself into his arms. “Oof.” You buried you face in his shirt inhaling his scent. He rubbed your back affectionately enjoying having you back in his arms. “Aw… it’s okay. It’s okay now.” He murmured when he heard you sniffle. He oddly felt his chest swell with pride at how much you missed him. He never had to worry about how you felt about him. He peeled your head off him by stroking your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

You snickered at his dad phases. “I’m ready. Well… I still have some stuff I need to pack up. Too heavy.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Frankie kissed you chastely. You pulled him in for more though, fisting his shirt in your hands. “Mmm no no. Work first. Play later.” Frankie pulled back. You pouted but have to agree with his logic. The faster you packed the faster you could leave.

Back in your apartment Frankie got to work taking apart your bed and dresser. You finished packing your clothes and dusting.

“Hey what’s this? It was under the bed.” Frankie walked over holding a gift bag with pink tissue paper sticking up.

“Oh…” You quickly grabbed it away. “That’s supposed to be a surprise. For Rosie.”

“You got her a present?” Frankie was touched by your thoughtfulness.

“Yeah I mean… I figured it might make her like me more.”

“She already likes you, but she can never have too many toys.” Frankie stepped further into your space. You realize at that moment how sweaty he was from moving all the furniture. It was so late at night and you were both exhausted but the sudden rush of his thicker smell made you feel wide awake. “Can I see what you got her?”

You handed the package back over, watching him gingerly move the tissue paper to the side. His eyes softened when he saw the pink unicorn pillow pet sitting in the bag. A mini version of yours.

“Am I too presumptuous making us matching? I don’t know if she likes unicorns and-" Frankie cut you off, dropping the bag and kissing you up against the wall. He wasn't even sure what part of that turned him on, just your sweetness and wanting to be a part of his family. He held your face in his hands, his grip forcing your mouth open. You felt yourself start to grow wet. You loved when he just went caveman on you. Sometimes he didn’t have the words to express how much he loved you so he reverted to touch; to deep kisses and deep thrusts. His hands trailed down your exposed legs so he could lift you up on his hips. You held onto his shoulders as he swung you around. The bed was gone, the couch was gone.

"Fuck. Hang on."

You laughed as he ran you out to the kitchen to set you down on the counter. You pawed at his pants trying to undo his belt, but Frankie was faster, unhooking your bra from under your shirt and then pulling your shirt over your head. He took your hand and placed it over his large bulge between his legs.

“Feel what you do to me…” He gritted through his teeth his chest rising and falling sharply.


“Frankie- oh my god-please let me” You pulled he belt loose. At first he stops you. “I didn’t get to last time. Please?” He bit his lip considering your plea. He really just wanted to give and give and give to you. But he had been mean last time, not letting you touch his cock. So this time he doesn’t stop you as you unbutton his pants and pull him out of his boxers. You licked your lips as his cock fell into your hand, curving up towards you.

You hopped off the counter, getting onto your knees before him. “Take off your shirt… please?” He obliged. You kissed down his belly feeling it tighten against your lips. He watched you with fire in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. You pushed the rest of his pants and boxers down. You stroked him slowly with both hands.

“You have to tell me what you like…” You held his cock and licked a long stripe from the base to the head making him moan weakly. You repeat the motion adding a few kitten licks at the end, lapping up the stray drops of salty precum. Frankie was struggling to think let alone speak. He gripped the countertop above you, his other hand going to the back of your head.

“Just- go slow.” You followed his instructions, slowly taking his length in your mouth. “Good-good girl.” He clenched his jaw staring down at the sight. Your hot mouth felt like heaven and your innocent eyes staring up at him was just the cherry on top. You took his dick as far as you could before you choked lightly. You were by no means an expert at giving blowjobs but you were frustrated you couldn't go further. Your jaw was already aching from his girth.

“Mm don’t hurt yourself, baby.” He hissed unable to hold his hips still, he jerked a little against you making you whine. “Come back up, remember to breathe.”

You slowly pulled off his cock before going down again. Frankie’s hand on your head gently guided you so you didn’t hurt your throat. You added suction, applying pressure on the underside of his cock. You started to find what he liked based on his sounds. You still couldn’t take him all the way in your mouth, tears gathered in corner of your eyes from the effort. Your hand pumped the rest that wouldn’t fit.

“Oh fuck.” Frankie gasped his hips jerking again making his cock slide back into your mouth. You moved one of your hands to his hips looking up at him to say it was okay. “Are you-you want me to fuck your mouth, sweet pea?” You nodded eagerly. You put one of you hands on his length where he wouldn’t fit. He gathered up some of your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slowly thrust into your mouth. Like he always did, he waited for you to nod and give him the okay. When you did, he couldn’t help the growl that left his throat. Drool leaked from your mouth onto your chest as he sped up using your head more forcefully. You were sure you had soaked through your panties. It turned you on so much to see him take control, use you for his pleasure, but still his grip on you was firm and gentle. Every grunt went straight to your pussy. “Such a good girl letting me use this hole, too.” He rasped. “You’re crying around my cock.”

“Mmhm” You hummed around his dick making him groan. He was close. He was battering the back of your throat. You could recognize the furrowed brow and the tightening of his balls. You intensified your ministrations.

“Good girl, good-I’m gonna cum in your little mouth.” He pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. “Stick out your tongue, sweet pea.” He ordered. You obeyed, watching greedily as he fisted himself harshly the tip of his cock hitting your tongue. You placed your hands on either side of his tummy, anticipating his load. His chest was flush and his eyes were fluttering shut. When he came he yanked your head up harshly as cum splashed onto your tongue. You loved this perspective, watching his face contort with pleasure. You tried to take every drop but some dripped down your chin. “Swallow.” Frankie ordered roughly still maintaining his grip on your head. You swallowed, his warm cum sliding down your throat.

“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled up at him, wiping some of the stray cum off your chin. He let go of your hair, now stroking your head then your jaw. “Did I do well?”

“So good.” He chuckled and helped you stand, his breath still ragged. You squirmed pressing your thighs together. The move not missed by Frankie. “Did sucking my cock make you wet, sweet pea?”

You nodded shyly before saying “It’s okay though. You don’t have to-it’s late and we have a long drive tomorrow.”

“You’re always looking out for me but what kind of man would I be if I left you all needy. But you have to ask for it, sweet pea.”

“I kinda just want your mouth if that’s okay?” You asked feeling too tired for a full round of sex.

“Of course.” Frankie smiled. “Your mattress is still in the bedroom.” He led you in and helped settle you on the center of the mattress. He pulled your shorts and underwear off, staring at your slick reddened pussy. "You soaked your little panties, sweet pea. Did you touch your little flower while I was gone?" Frankie asked, pulling apart your legs.

"I-I tried to. But it wasn't the same."

"How come, little pea?" His patronizing tone had your cunt clenching. He was teasing you.

"It wasn't your fingers. I needed you." You huffed, trying to push his head down onto you.

"Mmm poor thing." Frankie chuckled, the rich sound giving you goosebumps. He felt his cock start to harden again despite you just sucked the soul out of him moments ago. He slowly licked up your slit moaning at the taste of you. Your head tipped back as he he slowly inserted a finger into you. "Eyes on me." He instructed. You forced your head back down so you could make eye contact. "Play with your tits for me." You obeyed, squeezing the flesh in your hand. He returned to his task, taking your clit in between his lips, quickly escalating your climax. Your hands never stood a chance. He inserted a second finger, curling it against you. They were so thick and long it hit that spot deep inside you it made you gush.

"Oh my god. Daddy-I'm-" You teetered on the precipice your breath caught in your throat. Your entire body erupted in flames as your mouth open in a silent scream. Frankie's eyes widened as your pussy strangled his fingers before fluttering uncontrollably. Your cum dripped onto his hand, he quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue trying to catch it all.

"That's it." He felt you finally take a shaking inhale. "Breathe, sweet pea. Breathe." Exhaustion hit you hard as every muscle relaxed.

"I'm sleepy..." You slurred.

"It's okay. You can go to sleep." Frankie leaned up kissing you, smearing your slick all over your mouth. He returned to licking your pussy less aggressively though. "I got you."

You nodded before drifting off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you dump the last of your stuff at goodwill, packed the truck, turned in your key, and hit the road. You were bouncing in your seat with excitement. You hadn’t ever traveled south of DC. The landscape was beautiful. You and Frankie took turns driving, belting Fleetwood Mac on repeat. You forced Frankie to take obligatory selfies to remember the journey at rest stops or whenever the view was worthy. Over halfway to Miami you paused at a rest stop for a quick nap. Frankie was anxious to get you home and he didn’t want to stay put for too long. He was used to long drives and quick naps, but you weren’t. He didn’t want to exhaust you because there was so much he wanted to show you when you arrived. You laid across the backseat of the truck with your head in Frankie’s lap as the sun was going down.

In the early morning Frankie finished the drive. His own excitement increased when he was back in the city. You had your head nearly sticking out of the window looking at everything. You couldn’t believe how sunny and warm it was here. Frankie turned down a residential street. “Almost there.” He said. You buzzed in your seat.

Frankie made one last turn into a driveway. You instantly got warm feelings looking at the house. It was painted seagull grey with white trim. It was wonderfully symmetrical with two windows on the first and second floor with window boxes outside the first floor window. The front yard was nicely mowed.

“Your house is so cute!” You hopped out of the car, your legs enjoying the chance to stretch. The air smelled slightly salty being so close to the beach. The sun felt wonderful on your skin. You could have laid down in the grass and just fallen asleep.

Frankie showed you around his house with your hand in his, pointing out random things of importance in his giddy state. You followed him around with bright adoring eyes. Despite looking forward to this moment for a while, you barely looked at anything except for him. You could care less about where the tile for the fireplace came from. You didn’t remember Frankie’s story about how Will messed up his back moving in Frankie’s couch in because it was hitting you over and over again that you were home with Frankie. You didn’t pay attention to the story behind Rosie’s crib because Frankie was here with you. His warm hand holding you close like you may disappear. He was here with that damn cute excited voice as he showed you around his home, soon to be your home.

“Sweet pea? Earth to sweet pea?”

“Hmmm?” You smiled apologetically. Standing in the kitchen, the sun pouring in from the window above the sink bathed Frankie in golden light making him look ethereal.

“I said- we should start moving boxes in before it gets dark.”

“You haven’t shown me everything yet.” You realized.

“What did I miss?”

“Your room…” You swung your entwined hands back and forth.

“Our room, sweet pea.”

“So I won’t be sleeping on the floor?” You laughed.

“Never.” He kissed you briefly. “I just haven’t cleaned up in there and I need to make some space for your stuff and-“

“Frankie.” You quiet his rambling with another kiss. You couldn’t stop kissing him. “Your house is immaculate. That’s the room I want to see.”

He swallowed harshly before he led you up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to his room. While showing you the garden and the other rooms he was giddy but now he seemed more flustered. When you opened the door you could see why. Your candle was sitting on his bedside table. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in.

You immediately break away from him, going to inspect his bedside table. Glimpses of Frankie that made you love him all the more. Your candle, your books, your list, his sergeant pin, and an old alarm clock.

“Was this what you’re so embarrassed about?” You asked picking up the candle. It was almost used up. He averted his gaze. The back of his neck bright red which you recognized as a sign of his nervousness. “Frankie…” You set it down and took both his hands in yours. You couldn’t even convey what it meant to you. He had missed you that much that he burned your candle.

“I have the real thing now.” He said pulling you against his chest, dragging his nose over your cheek in reverence. You hummed in contentment. “This is our room, sweet pea. Our home.” He whispered.

“Our bed.” You added moving his hands to rest on your ass, wrapping your own around his neck.


“Eager girl.” He tutted, kissing just below your ear, squeezing your ass lightly.

“I can’t help it. I’ve waited so long, Frankie.” You tilt your head up resting your forehead against his.

“You’ll never have to wait again, princesa pea. I’m here.”

“Then I want you now.” You tugged him towards the bed. Falling down onto his comforter you were hit by a puff of his scent. Laundry detergent, old spice, and that indescribable musk that was Frankie. You barely got a chance to enjoy it before Frankie is falling on top of you. You laughed as he pulled you up the bed until you’re against the pillows. He's about to rip your clothes from you but-

“Wait wait- I have a gift for you.” His eyes lit up.

“Frankie…” You smiled “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pushed away from you, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out a small package.


“Here.” He handed it to you.

You sat up. You felt guilty you didn’t get him a gift. You slowly peeled back the tape trying to save the paper. It was wrapped so nicely.

“Come on, rip it up. It’s just paper.”

“No… I wanna save it.” You argued, pulling it open finally. You stared down at the contents in your lap. It was a book with a pink cover and loopy writing. Our Little Kingdom. “Frankie… this is- this is my book.” You felt your eyes swim with tears.

“I know.” Frankie knelt in front of you. “I read it and it was so good. I wanted to get it bound. I was serious when I said want to publish it. I want to make it happen. But if you don’t want to at least we can enjoy it how it’s meant to be enjoyed.”

You flipped through the pages smelling the fresh paper. You reached the end and noticed Frankie had slipped in something as a book mark. It was a torn half of a check. “This is…”

“The check I tore up. I use it as a bookmark so I thought you would-“

You launched yourself at Frankie, a habit you learned from him when words were just simply not enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, you were surrounded by Frankie’s scent, warm sun hitting your face. Frankie wasn't there. You heard movement downstairs. You threw on the first shirt of Frankie's you could find. You practically skipped down the stairs, heart leaping when you saw Frankie in his PJ pants and nothing else sitting at the kitchen table. His body was lit up in the morning sun, he looked like a goddamn dream. He was shoveling some cereal into his mouth but he stopped when he noticed you. He still looked so sexy to you in this moment, his strong arms and big hand gripping the small spoon. His chest littered with small hickies you made. You blinked a couple of times wanting to imprint this image into your brain forever.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“The sun woke me up!”

“Shit. I would have made you some breakfast or something.”

“That’s okay.” You smiled going to stand in front of him. You kissed him, licking some of the milk from his lips. Your hands rested on his bare golden shoulders. You loved how wide they were and how solid and warm they felt.

“Mmm is this mine, sweet pea?” He tugged at the Fleetwood Mac shirt hanging down to your thighs.

“No, it’s another boys.” You teased.

“Don’t joke about that, little pea.” Frankie warned with a small swipe to your ass.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” You giggled. “I was only joking. No one else has cool shirts like you.”

“You want some cereal? I can also make eggs or pancakes or-“

“I want-” You slipped your hand over his pants. You could feel his slightly hard cock sitting below. “This.”

“You already had some last night and you still want more?” Frankie groaned his thighs spreading further around you. “I thought you’d be sore, sweet pea.”

“I am.” You admitted kissing him quickly. “but I still want you.”

“Mmm…” Frankie pulled your hand away watching you pout. “I think you need to eat something first.”

“No I don’t!”

“Come on, I’ll let you sit on your special seat.” He tapped his thigh. You debated this. You decided to do what he asked, not wanting to test your luck so early in the day. You hopped up on his lap wiggling back until his semi hard cock was pressed against your back. Your thighs sitting over his legs, your pussy peaking out from his shirt. Frankie rested his big hands on your bare thighs rubbing the skin back and forth. You closed your eyes enjoying his touch. You could feel his breath against your neck as he looked down at the sight.

“Do I look good on my special seat, daddy?” You asked looking up at him.

“Perfect, my little pea.” Frankie smiled. He pulled the cereal over and you popped a bite in your mouth. You didn’t normally like cereal but since Frankie asked…

“Okay, done. I’ve eaten.”

“Woah I hardly call that eating.” Frankie shook his head. He placed a hand on your stomach, fingers splayed out over the entire width almost. He applied a little pressure which had you squirming again. God his hands were so big and warm just above where you needed him. “I can feel little rumblings telling me you’re hungry, sweet pea.” You rock against him more intentionally making him catch his breath.

“Not for cereal.” You bit your lip.

“One more bite, sweet pea. For daddy?” He rubbed his beard into your neck which never failed to make you to laugh.


You took another spoonful of the soggy cereal before looking up at him for approval. He chuckled as you chewed quickly. You looked so cute with your cheeks full. It made cock ache.

“Good job, sweet pea.” He smirked when you swallowed it all. He lowered his hand down to cup your pussy which was already dripping. You hand flew to his thick forearm.

You melted against him as he rubs your clit slowly. Last night was hurried and desperate but now it was like he had all the time in the world. You listened to him take large inhale against your neck, smelling you.

“You look so beautiful, sweet pea. In my shirt. In our kitchen.”

“Fuck…” You moaned. His fingers felt so wonderful and thick against you. You fucking loved the sound of that. Ours.

“I’m gonna fuck you on our table.”

He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back down on the table. The sun coming through the window bathed your body in soft light. You looked divine. Frankie had your legs spread wide, tongue on that pussy before you could even blink. “Holy shit. Daddy!” Your hands clenched into fists at your side.

“Sweet pea.” Frankie pulled off, lips wetted by your slick. You blushed under his hot gaze. “Why don’t you pull my hair?”

You whimpered as he took your little fist and put it in his beautiful locks. “I want to but… the last person I was with didn’t like it.” You turned your head to the side trying to hide your embarrassment. His hair felt like silk in your hands.

“Hey-“ Frankie gently grabbed your chin and turned you to look at him. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He was leaning over you, invading all your senses, but of course the aspect that hit you hardest was his voice. Soft and reassuring. That rich baritone that made you fall in love in the first place. “Pull my hair, baby, I wanna know how well I treat this pussy. You won’t hurt me.”

You nodded feeling your eyes wet with tears. His affection never ceased to shock you. He kissed you, softening your worried look with each stroke of his tongue. When you were relaxed, he returned to your pussy. He was a fast learner for the times, applying the pressure you needed with his tongue while hitting that spot inside your walls with his fingers. Your hands were laced in his soft hair tugging almost unconsciously.

“Fuck-Daddy" You gasped feeling your breath. Your stomach tightened but you still felt like you weren't quite to your breaking point. "I can't- I need- I need-"

"What, sweet pea, what do you need?" Frankie paused, looking at you struggle above him. You grabbed his hand which was holding your hip and moved it to your throat. "Holy shit." Frankie's eyes widened.

"I need you to push me over-" you struggled to think of how to explain it but Frankie started applying light pressure over your throat making your cunt tighten around his fingers. The strain on your airway finally brought you to the edge. He returned to your clit and didn’t let up even as your walls clamped and gushed around his fingers. Didn’t stop as your back arched off the table, your toes curled, and your hands pulled his hair almost painfully. He let go of your throat when you tapped his wrist and your breath returned ragged and sharp, extending your orgasm. You brushed some of Frankie’s hair from his forehead and he looked up, making eye contact, as his lips suckled on your clit lightly. You didn’t say anything for a moment, feeling your body come down from that peak, basking in Frankie’s loving gaze between your legs. You felt boneless.

“I love you.” You murmured. Frankie surged up, capturing your lips in a wet kiss. He pulled back and kissed the happy tears falling from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.

“I love you, too. I’m never letting you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing to feel that promise inside you. Needing his promise filling you up.

“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”

“I’m sure.” You ran your hand through his hair, now addicted to the feeling of it.

Frankie slowly eased himself into your pussy. It was harder without lube. You winced a little once he was fully inside. Fuck he was so big.

"Am I hurting you?" Frankie felt bad and started to pull out.

"No please." You arched your back trying to hold him inside. "I'm okay. I want- I want-."

"Sweet pea..." He bit his lip as he struggled to resist thrusting into you.

"And if I can't walk- then you can carry me." You wiggled your hips. Frankie couldn't help but laugh at that not that he minded carrying you around. "Please, daddy." You asked one last time as you dug your heels into his lower back. Frankie placed his hands on your waist and started fucking into you slowly, withdrawing almost all the way out before thrusting back in again.

“I’m so proud of you… taking my cock like a good girl.” He kissed you softly, moving to kiss a train down your neck to your nipples and back up. "You're home now." You nodded in agreement. "This is our little kingdom, sweet pea.” Your shallow breaths slowly transformed into moans. You felt your muscles relax a little and signaled he could start moving faster.

Needless to say the cereal on the table shook and spilled as he fucked you. Spilled milk on your table. His cum spilled inside you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie enjoyed hosting so much since Rosie’s birthday he wanted to have a Fourth of July barbecue. With your help he took the decorations to the next level. Hanging fairy lights over the patio, and renting a bouncy castle for the kids. In an act of irrational niceness, you had said it was okay if Laura came by, that way Rosalia would be there too.

Frankie was clear he had no desire to hide you. He wanted to show you off. Still, you dreaded meeting Frankie's ex. Rosalia had warmed to you quickly even preferring you to hold her. You already loved her so much. Today she wanted you to follow her everywhere and watch her play. Frankie was stuck behind the grill but he still could watch his girls playing. You were wearing a lovely red sundress which Frankie was looking forward to stripping off. It brushed your thighs in the breeze and it was perfect height for Rosalia to tug on when she wanted to be picked up.

“You’ve done a great job with the decor.” Laura appeared at Frankie’s side.

“Thanks.” Frankie smiled tightly. Her surprised tone confirmed that she always underestimated him.

“You’ve been happier lately.” Laura studied Frankie.

“I guess.” Frankie shrugged turning one of the hot dogs for something to do.

“It just has me remembering the old days. Before everything with you happened.” Frankie prickled at that last statement. Everything with you. She always put it on him totally forgetting how she also made things worse.

“Frankie?” You appeared at his other side, eyeing Laura warily and doing little to hide your dislike. You had seen from yards away how Frankie tensed up, looking down. You wouldn’t let that slide so you went over. Finally removing your glare from his ex wife you look up at him, laying a reassuring hand over his forearm. “Uh- people are getting hungry. How soon until it’s done?”

“It’s ready now.” Frankie smiled down at you, instantly feeling more at ease. His answer let you know he was okay.

“Great I’ll wrangle everyone.” You smiled before darting back to the crowd.

“Who is that?” Laura frowned. “Someone's babysitter?”

“No.” Frankie shut off the grill facing his ex wife face to face. ��She’s my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Laura sounded skeptical. “She’s 12.”

“She’s a woman.” Frankie corrected her. “A woman I love very much.” He wasn’t going to listen to anyone look down on you.

“You should have talked to me before you brought her around Rosie.” Laura huffed, putting a hand on her hip.

“You had no problem parading your boyfriends around during our divorce.” Frankie shot back quickly looking to make sure they couldn’t be heard. “It’s in the court records so I doubt you want to bring it up.”

“Frankie…” Laura seemed to regret what she said.

“Let’s just… move on.” Frankie said as people started to draw near.

“Papa!” He heard Rosie squeal, toddling towards him.

“Rosie!” He picked her up, his anger instantly melting away. “Ready for your hot dog?”

As Frankie and the others started filling up their plates Laura crept closer to you as you were cleaning up some of the kid’s mess by the pool.

“Excuse me. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Laura.” She extended her hand. She was taller than you. Her face was tight as if she was holding in her sneer.

“Hi.” You decided to be nice, shaking the woman’s hand. You introduced yourself.

“So… you and Frankie. “

“Yes.”

“How long has that been going on?”

“A few months.” You said keeping it vague.

“And it’s going well?”

“Yes.” You grew annoyed by her vague questioning. Obviously it was going well since you were here. Her eyes were the total opposite of Frankie's. Hard and cold and icy blue. You quietly thanked god that Rosalia had inherited Frankie's eyes.

“Hmm he’s not doing that crazy thing anymore?”

“What thing?” You frowned.

“Well one time while we were together he stayed up the whole night because he thought some criminal or something was after us.” Laura laughed cruelly. You wanted to slap her for her lack of sympathy. What was funny about Frankie’s fear? “The psychiatrist said there would be delusions but that was just too much.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” You snipped, trying to keep at least a polite facade. There were people just a few feet away. You prayed the couldn’t hear.

“Hey I’m sorry.” She schooled her features. “Don’t think I’m cruel. It wasn’t easy being with someone like that. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Thanks for that. I think I'm good though.” You finished picking up the last pool toy and walked away before Laura could say more. You wanted to turn back and say something mean but you were determined to be the bigger person. You didn’t want to start drama that would hurt Frankie and Rosalia. You spent a good minute in the garage after putting the toys back, positively fuming.

“Sweet pea?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts, joining you in the garage. “Aren’t you hungry?”

"I was just cleaning up.” You said though your hands were empty.

“I saw Laura talking to you.” He watched you warily. Fear lapped at him. What did Laura tell you...“Everything okay?”

“She just… a bitch.” You huffed. Your word choice made Frankie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry I know you married her but how? She’s awful and rude and judgmental.”

“I know.” Frankie quieted his laughter, pulling you into his chest. “It wasn’t meant to last.”

“Because she’s a bitch.” You grumbled into his chest making Frankie laugh again. His tummy bounced against yours with his laughter. You loved it. You thought again about what Laura said. How cruel she had been in the face of Frankie’s PTSD. “If she says one more rude thing I may have to smack her.”

“You’re hot when you’re possessive, you know that?” Frankie smiled tickling your sides. “Come on, we should get back before our guests start to notice.”

“Alright.” You agreed, taking his hand and following him out of the garage. You felt Laura’s eyes on you two when you came back to the yard. Frankie got your burger set up for you before doing his. It’s the simple things that got you going; how giving he is. You tried to hide your blush from the onlookers as Frankie asked you ketchup or mustard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once everyone went home you and Frankie laid out a blanket in the back so you could watch the fireworks happening on the beach a mile away. He was quiet, at least more than he usually is. You didn’t know what to say to reassure him so again you reverted to touch. You placed your hand on his thigh reassuringly.

“Frankie?” You turned to him. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“No.” He seemed taken aback by your question.

“Okay.” You moved closer to him until you were tucked into his side.

“You mean about Laura.” Frankie said after a moment. “Just- she didn’t say anything to you to make you upset right? She doesn’t get under my skin anymore. I don’t want her to get under yours.”

“She didn’t get under my skin.” You replied. She said nothing to make you insecure, just make you angry at her is all. “I’m just protective of you, you know. It seems like she was awful to you.”

“It’s fine.” Frankie shrugged.

“No.” You moved to sit on his lap, straddling him. “It’s not. You came back from your deployment probably in need of some comfort and all she gave you was judgment."

“She told you about that night.” Frankie hung his head in humiliation. You didn’t deny it. You didn’t want to upset him but part of you knew he should talk about this. Laura shouldn’t be the only one who holds this memory over his head. “It was my first night back. I just- I swore I heard gunfire. I was freaking out. I was probably acting really scary. I thought they came for me and she-Laura called the cops on me.”

“How could she…” You teared up on behalf of Frankie.

“I ran.” He continued, his voice thick. “I stayed a Will’s and calmed down. That was the end of the marriage.” He rubbed up and down your thighs under your dress. It always comforted him. You tried to think of what to say. His wife, the person who was supposed to love him the most, ostracized him and criminalized him.

Frankie was anticipating you to be afraid of him or push him away, but to his surprised you pulled him into a hug, holding his head against your neck like he was a child. He felt a sob rise in his throat and tears wet his eyes. You were so... kind. It was something he was still learning to accept and realize he deserved .

“You’re right.” You took a breath to relax yourself. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You’re mine now. Not hers.” You kissed Frankie on his nose then kissed his mouth.

“Always, sweet pea.” He rubbed his thumb over the area of your brow that furrowed in residual anger.

“I just wish there were some way…” you chewed your lip. “I have these-“ you pulled his dog tags out from where they hung between your breasts. “Reminds me I’m yours.”

“Maybe I need a necklace too.” Frankie smiled squeezing your thighs. That got you thinking…

“Can I try something?” You asked. Frankie nodded looking amused. You tugged at his shirt pulling it over his head. You never got over how broad he was. His toned arms were flexed holding himself up. You leaned forward planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s neck where it met his shoulder.

“Mmm gonna mark me up?”

You nodded and sucked harder till you were satisfied it would leave a mark. Pulling back you admired the red blooming where your mouth had been. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it did but you loved that he had a physical mark from you. He had scars here and there from cross fire and stab wounds. Some he wouldn’t go into detail. You loved them all but for once you wanted him to have a mark born out of love.

“I’m gonna give you a necklace, daddy.” You murmured tracing the path you would forge, down and around to the other side of his neck. You were gonna make hicks all around his neck like a chain. You leaned back down and planted another mark below and slightly to the right.

“Holy shit.” Frankie groaned, tilting his head back. He felt his cock start to harden under your attention. You slowly made your way across his hot skin until you had seven little wet hickies starting to show through the skin. You traced them with your finger, connecting the dots.

Frankie looked down, watching in fascination. His dog tags were a bittersweet thing, symbolizing his commitment to the military, but you wanted them. You wore them proudly, giving him more closure than 100 hours of therapy. But this... this new chain on his skin represented his belonging to you. “Beautiful, baby girl. Thank you.” He kissed you sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You pulled away before he could deepen it. You start to lean down again like you were going to plant another hickie on him. He pushed you back and rolled the both of you over.

“Daddy! I wasn’t done yet.” You wiggled against the soft blanket.

“No it’s daddy’s turn now.” He pushed the straps of your dress down your arms, tugging your neckline down.

“But I already have a necklace.” You felt Frankie’s dog tags lying in your cleavage.

“Now you’ll have two. I spoil my girl like that.” Frankie teased. He kissed up and down your neck before settling on his starting place. When he started sucking it sent a lightning bolt straight to your clit. You gasped. You could feel him hard against your thigh, not fully yet. You rocked your hips impatiently, clutching his head against you.

“Be patient, baby.” He warned, pausing his work. You stilled your hips with a pout. “Good girl.” He resumed. You wanted to be naughty but you knew you’d never win that fight. Problem was you were loving his attention on your neck so much you couldn’t help but start grinding against his leg again. Your hand reached down and tried to stroke his hardening cock. Frankie pulled back, his lips swollen from giving you hickies. He was only halfway around your chest now.

“You’re being naughty…” Frankie chided, lightly slapping your hand away from him. You continued squirming under his gaze though you at least look apologetic. Frankie pulled away. “You don’t want your necklace?” Frankie pretended to be hurt.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Just- your mouth feels so good.”

“If you’re not gonna behave I’m gonna have to make you behave.” Frankie’s mouth curled into a smirk. Your stomach flipped around in excitement. “Sit back up on your knees.” He ordered. You eagerly sat up on your knees, placing your hands on your thighs. Your dress hung around your waist. Frankie stood up and started undoing his belt. You got excited thinking he was going to let you suck his cock but instead he just pulled his belt from his pants and knelt down again. “Remember just say stop if you want to stop.” Frankie reminds you.

You nodded your eyes dilating, staring at the leather in his hands.

“Hands behind your back, baby.” He instructed. You obeyed your knees widening subconsciously. He tied his belt around your wrists. It’s not tight enough to hurt but you certainly could not move your hands without really trying. Frankie licked his lips, staring down at your vulnerable position. “Good little sweet pea.” He cooed. “Now you won’t be able to be naughty. What do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.” You whispered feeling your cheeks burn at the depravity of your position. The smooth leather of his belt rubbed against your pulse point and Frankie’s smell filled your nose. You’re out in the open. Sure there was a fence but it still heightened your arousal. You were dripping you were sure of it. He knelt before you again to finish his hickies. He held your hair pulling it back to give himself more room.

You tried to lift up your arms multiple times but got stopped by the belt. You whined as he sucked another mark into you and you couldn’t get any stimulation in this position. Frankie let you moan and whine for him but he didn’t stop his mission. He finally pulled back, his hooded eyes evaluated at his work.

“Look at it, baby.”

You looked down at the curved line of hickies running from collarbone to collarbone. “Thank you, daddy, for my necklace. I love it so much.” You looked at his chest. You were matching now. Your lust was momentarily paused as a fresh wave of adoration washed over you. It was so much deeper than sex. Frankie noticed your change in expression and kissed you softly, bringing you back to the moment.

“You sat still for me so good. Now you can ask for what you want.” He strokes your hair softly.

“I wanna-I wanna suck you cock please?”

“Are you sure?” Frankie smiled. “You don’t want my mouth on you or-"

“No.” You shook your head. The emotions swirling in you from lust to love made you hungry for one thing. “I wanna make you cum in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” He groaned before kissing you hard, licking into your mouth. He never had someone as giving and kind and protective of him as you. He could have cried but there was no need because you were his forever. No yearning just living. He reached around to pull off the belt but you stopped him with a small voice.

“Leave it on.”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Frankie stood quickly. You sat up further, your hands still restrained behind your back. Your head was tilted up at him, your dress bunched around your waist, it was the most beautiful fucking sight.

Red blue and white fireworks dazzled the sky above. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside as quickly as he could while you giggled in delight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things started clicking into place like you were growing along some metaphorical ladder. You were finally where you needed to be. You got a job working at the VA in Miami, running their re-entry program. A small publishing house in Miami loved your book and agreed to publish it for a short run. Frankie took some money out of the Colombia account to cover the rest of the contract. Frankie had the book for sale at the shop pushing it on anyone who would enter. He was so proud of you. And that was all that mattered to you.

Frankie unironically planted sweet pea in the garden, telling you how they are slow to grow, but their delicate flower and sweet smell is worth the wait; just like you. Sweet peas were climbers, with the right support, they would bend to any shape. You knew you could go as high as the sky with Frankie by your side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist: @floraandfrost @agingerindenial, @heythere-mel, @icanbeyourjedi, @linnie0119, @pedrosmustache, @thisshipwillsail316, @peterhollandkait, @leias-rebelion, @phoenix-of-loki, @prettypedros, @kennedywxlsh, @punkerthanpascal, @the-witty-pen-name, @twentyfirstcenturyfox, @madslorian, @sarahjkl82-blog, @bison-writes, @lightning-fast54, @maievdenoir, @nicolethered, @kenoobiwan, @danniburgh, @janebby, @dihra-vesa, @yespolkadotkitty, @ilikechocolatemilkh, @headinthestarz, @tanyaherondale, @christina-loves, @dobbyjen, @fangirl-316

[snow-in-the-desert]

Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay. 

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it. 

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all. 

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level. 

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?  

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee. 

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon. 

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic. 

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu​

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft. 

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look. 

The Erised Effect by @adaprix​

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better. 

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath. 

Clean by @olivieblake​

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it. 

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending! 

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm​

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione. 

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell.  But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright. 

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone​

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel. 

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes. 

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie 

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot. 

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities​

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one. 

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen 

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe. 

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored. 

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for. 

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review. 

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer. 

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online.