#don’t get me wrong i still liked some episodes
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SKZ REACTION TO….
….you taking a bullet for them
CHAN…. absolutely hates himself. he blames himself for everything. hates himself more than the company. if he’s already suffering from insomnia then let me tell you he fully cannot sleep. every time he closes his eyes he sees you bleeding out. he cannot and will not sleep until you’re recovered enough to come home and sleep with him in his bed. he’d still be too scared to sleep, clinging to you as you’re deep in your sleep, and if he somehow falls asleep he’d wake up immediately with sobs and making sure you’re alive next to him.
MINHO… cannot be away from you. his form of guilt is to make it up to you despite you telling him you’re fine and you did it to protect him. he won’t stop coddling but you knew he had mistaken love with guilt at some point. he already only shows acts of service as a love language but you felt like he was overdoing it. you hadn’t meant to start an argument about it but you did and he ends up crying saying he just wants to make sure you’re okay because seeing you walk and talk to him is better than seeing you on the floor bleeding out. he’s just suffering and having you close to him is how he’s handling it.
CHANGBIN… self isolates. he wouldn’t do that but he can’t bear to see you. he thinks you hate him until you finally leave the hospital and show up and kiss him better. he’s a big crier, so he sobs into your chest for a good while saying he’s sorry and saying you didn’t deserve that. dealing with the press was a nightmare and he didn’t want you to hate him for not seeing you in the hospital. silently hates himself until you find out and you ease him up again.
HYUNJIN…. won’t stop crying for DAYS. even when you’re out of the hospital. he’d self loathe even when you think he’s fine. he enters a depressive episode for a while, maybe one day smiling at you and the next self isolating from you. you’d wonder what’s wrong and at some point neither of you see each other but you can’t be without him and neither can he. he just wants to be assured that it will never happen again.
JISUNG… ah poor baby, his anxiety spikes and he gets absolutely paranoid. cannot go into the public eye for WEEKS because he’d think you’d get hurt again. you two end up going into a hiatus for a while and jisung jumps even when food delivery comes by. he cries at every single thing and begs you to not hate him for being so weak. your fragile baby, you assure him every moment and soon you two feel a lot better to go back out to the public eye.
FELIX…. also won’t stop crying for days. too scared to be away from you. his hate is towards his company because how dare they let this happen. always cries himself to sleep and you thought sleeping with him would help but he still cries in his sleep and wakes you up from his nightmares. he literally needs a lot of coaxing from you, doesn’t leave your sight. his attachment towards you gets extreme but you know it’s not for long. it hurts you to see him so paranoid and worried but thankfully it gets better.
SEUNGMIN… does not want to see you. he self isolates so bad, hates everything and everyone. he doesn’t know how to handle his emotions so he ends up being tense and lashing out at everyone. when you come back he accidentally lashes out on you but you never say anything- ending up with him crying his eyes out because he couldn’t do anything but be weak and hide in his room. you coax him into knowing you’re fine as long as he’s fine. i think after that he’d start to show physical affection a lot more.
JEONGIN… will not stop crying and hyperventilating. extremely paranoid and will not leave your side. he’d just stare at you for a while and end up crying. genuinely so fragile, you panic and worry a lot. he’d always say he’d sorry and you’d have to remind him it’s not his fault. does not want to enter the public eye for a good while and you don’t either. definitely enter a hiatus with you and won’t leave your sight either. he doesn’t get better until a lot later, but he still feels bad.
#kpop x male reader#x male reader#kpop x top male reader#kpop x reader#sub!kpop#kpop x gn reader#kpop x y/n#kpop x gender neutral reader#skz x gn reader#skz x male reader#skz x you#skz x reader#skz reactions#skz angst#kpop reactions#kpop angst#kpop x you#kpop imagines#stray kids x male reader#stray kids drabbles
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hiii, idk if ur still active but I love ur writing and I was wondering if u could maybe do a james smut with a Christmas theme! tyyy💓
Merry Christmas, I miss you
james potter x f!reader
summary: you and James have been broken up since Halloween. Until he calls you on Christmas Day after finding out that you both were spending the evening alone. (muggle+modern day au)
warnings: use of y/n, reader is shorter than James, swearing, smut (MDNI!), afab reader, nipple sucking, oral/fingering (f receiving), praise!!!, penetration, multiple orgasms(2), slight dom!james, reader has hair long enough to be stroked, kind of make-up sex tbh, unprotected + use of the pill, creampie, not proofread at all 😭
a/n: thank you so so much for requesting! I immediately thought of this song, hope you like it <3
You hated spending Christmas alone.
When your family was getting plane tickets two months ago, you said you’d spend Christmas with James, who also cancelled his plans with his family, just for him to break up with you two weeks later.
There was no one you could spend the end of year holidays with, all of your friends were with their families or together.
James absolutely hated the silence in his apartment.
Sirius and Remus were spending the holiday together at cabin they found online and Peter had gone home to his family.
James hated having brought this upon himself.
Were you with somebody else out there? Were you meeting their family? Were they in your apartment?
It was killing him.
What he hated most of all was breaking up with you during a stupid fight which he didn’t even remember the reason why it happened. He just remembers being drunk and stupid.
So he called Sirius, because that was what he usually did when things went to shit, and also because Sirius was close to you and he would probably know what James had been asking himself for the past hour.
The phone rang about six times until he finally picked up.
“What do you want?”
“What do you think y/n is doing right now?” He heard Sirius groan.
“Why do you care about what she’s doing?” James didn’t answer. “She’s alone at her place, don’t call her.”
“You think I should call her?” He decided to ignore any advice that went against whatever he wanted.
“God, he’s so fucking confusing.” he heard Remus say.
“Moony, do you think I should call her?”
“James, you’re going to do whatever you want, aren’t you?”
“Always, but that’s not the point.”
“Do what your heart says and leave us alone pleeeeaseee!” Sirius said and hung up.
James dialed your number on his phone, he memorized it so there was no real meaning to why he deleted it a while ago.
When you read the name on your phone’s screen once it started vibrating you thought you’d faint.
You wished that he had butt dialed you, or that maybe he called the wrong person. You knew you were wrong.
“James?” You said as you picked up and paused the TV in front of you.
“y/n. Hi, merry Christmas.” He sat up straight on the couch. “What are you doing?”
You couldn’t believe him.
“What?” You asked, even though you heard him clearly the first time.
“What are you doing tonight?”
So he was booty calling you on Christmas, was that it?
“I’m currently watching every single sitcom Christmas episode I can think of. You?”
“I’ve been staring at the ceiling for the past three hours. Are you by yourself?”
“Yes.” You replied, almost whispering. You couldn’t understand him.
“Me too. Can I come pick you up? We could maybe watch every single sitcom Christmas episode together. I have some food here.” He was already getting up and putting on his shoes outside of the apartment.
“Sure.”
You sighed after hanging up, what could go wrong? You’d go, you’d eat his food, you wouldn’t hook up with him and you’d be home by midnight. It was fine. Everything was under control.
Until you got into his car.
Until you felt his smell, the three in one shampoo that had the sweetest smell a three in one shampoo could ever have.
“Hey, you look great.” He said, looking at you as you put on the seatbelt.
“Thanks, you too.”
“Did you change your hair?” James asked, starting to drive.
“Kind of, yes.” You looked out the window and then back at him. “You look the same.”
He let out a small laugh. “I do.”
It was usually a 10 minute drive from your apartment to his, in which you awkwardly played with the hem of your skirt and made small talk.
“I have some frozen pizza at home, we could make popcorn too if you like, I bought one of those air popping machine things a few weeks ago. Actually, Sirius got that.” He said as he parked the car on the empty street in front of the apartment complex.
“I’d like that.”
Maybe you believed everything was still in control until you entered his apartment, the floor was cold and you left your shoes at the door. He locked it behind you.
“You remember the place don’t you?” You nodded. “There’s a few blankets and a sweater on the couch and you can turn on the TV if you want to. I’ll take the pizza out of the freezer and get the popcorn machine ready.”
You decided on starting with The Office’s season two Christmas episode, then you watch the other eight. Or you’d move to New Girl, then maybe Brooklyn 99, possibly Seinfeld.
“Bad news!” You heard James say from the kitchen. “Theres no corn to pop” he said, coming out and looking at you sitting on the couch.
“It’s alright, how about we watch this one and then I can help you out with the pizza?” You moved to the right side of the couch, inviting him to sit on your left.
You did realize you had no control over anything once he sat and instinctively wrapped his left arm around your shoulder. That might’ve also been when he realized he had no control.
“What are we watching?” He asked as you covered your legs with the blanket on the couch, he pulled some of it to himself and shared with you, your knees touching under it.
“I thought we could start by the office, we obviously won’t watch all of them, so we can move to New Girl afterwards, then maybe we could do Brooklyn 99 or Seinfeld because I know you like those two.” You looked at him and he hummed.
“That’s a good plan.” You smiled at him and started the episode.
When Micheal started talking about the Yankee Swap, James took his left arm from off your shoulder and put it under the covers to scratch his calf. You missed the feeling of him over your shoulders, until he rested his hand on your upper knee.
You felt your entire body go hot until the end of the episode, when he took the blanket from off you both and supported himself on your thigh to get up from the couch, ‘accidentally’ giving it a light squeeze. You thought you were about to go insane and paused the TV, maybe it really was a Christmas booty call.
“I only have pepperoni, if you don’t mind.”
“I don’t.”
“Can you put it in the oven? I’ll get us something to drink.”
“Sure.” He brushed his hand against your waist as he moved behind you to open the fridge.
“There’s Diet Coke, wine and orange juice.” He looked back at you.
“Wine.” You answered, watching him take the bottle out along with a can of Coke.
“Aren’t you going to drink with me?” You grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and moved next to him.
“I have to drive you home.” He smiled at you.
“Maybe you shouldn’t.” You smiled back at him.
“I can’t let you walk or uber home.” He put your hair behind your ear.
“I could crash here, if there’s space for me.” You almost whispered, looking at him doe eyed.
“There’s always space for you in my bed.” He stated, his voice low as he poured wine into both of the glasses.
He watched you take a sip and realized you were holding back a laugh.
“What is it?” He smiled.
“This sucks.” You giggled softly. He took a sip from his glass and made a face.
“Oh my god,” he laughed “you have to blame Remus though, I don’t think I bought wine more than once in my entire life.” You smiled, remembering the bottle he brought to your house on your third date. He moved closer to you, resting his hands on your waist.
“I’m sorry about the wine.” He whispered and you felt his breathing against your face, you hummed and looked up at him, moving your hands to the back of his neck, gently stroking his hair.
“Fuck.” He whispered, looking into your eyes. He slowly leaned in, you could feel your heartbeat as he got closer to you. You felt his lips brush against yours and then his phone’s alarm went off, scaring the both of you.
“The damn pizza” he muttered, turning off the oven but not taking the food out. You leaned against the counter and looked at James, who put his hands on your waist again, asking you “Where were we?”, making you laugh for the first time in a while.
You threw your hands over his neck as he hugged you so tightly that you thought maybe you both could merge into one.
“I missed you.” You whispered into his ear.
“Yeah?” He teased you and you hummed. “I missed you so much, love.” He started kissing your neck, holding you tightly by your lower waist.
“I’m so sorry. For everything.” He pulled away, looking into your eyes. “Let me make it up to you, please.” You nodded.
He brought his lips to yours and kissed you quickly.
“Use your words.” He muttered against your mouth and your breath hitched.
“Yes, please.” You replied and he brought his lips back against yours, this time you parted your mouth and he let his tongue slip into it. His lips moved hungrily against yours, the hands on your waist quickly moving to cup your ass firmly. Before you knew it, you were moving against him, glad you’d chosen to wear a skirt as breathy moans slipped from your lips against his.
All of a sudden James pulled his lips away from yours,
“Go to my room, I’ll be there in a second.” He said, pointing to the corridor.
You left the door open and sat on his bed, waiting for him. Everything was the same, except for the photograph of the both of you he had framed and left on his desk, which was now nowhere to be seen. He came into the room with something behind his back.
“I got this for you in November, in case we saw each other today. I know it’s not much but it reminded me of you.” He handed you a black corduroy box, which had a gold necklace with a small heart pendant.
“Oh James, this is so pretty.” You looked at him smiling and closing the box and putting it on his nightstand “I’ll put it on later, thank you so much.”
“Let me make everything up to you, I truly am sorry.” He said, taking off his glasses and sitting in front of you on the bed. You put your hands behind his neck and pulled him in, kissing him gently as he moved closer to you, his knee between your legs.
You laid down and his mouth started to make its way to your neck, giving it soft kisses then gently biting and sucking, making sure to leave a few marks. Meanwhile, his hands trailed their way to your breasts, going under your already loose bra and playing with your nipples. He quickly helped you take off your shirt, also removing his own.
James quickly kissed your mouth and started to trail small kisses from it to your right nipple, which he brought to his mouth and sucked on, nipping at it with his front teeth every once in a while, meanwhile his left hand stimulated your other nipple.
Your hands moved to his hair, stroking it and tugging on it every once in a while, leading to groans that would send vibrations to your breasts.
Suddenly, he pressed his knee against your damp underwear as you desperately tried to get more friction from it, until he held down your hips.
“Let me help you, baby.” he hummed against your chest. “I’m going to take care of you, don’t worry.”
He helped you take off your skirt as you raised your hips, tossing it next to the bed and kissing your tummy, making his way down to your underwear, lowering it and kissing the skin right above your slit, almost where you needed him the most. He started to kiss your inner thighs, going up to your clothed core, pressing another kiss right on top of your covered clit, making you moan as he took off your panties, carefully placing them on top of your skirt on the floor.
“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, his breath fanning against your pussy.
He started slowly at first, licking from your entrance to your clit, sucking it in the most careful way he could. Until you couldn’t hold back your moaning and you remembered how James Potter gave head like a starved man.
He held your thighs open as he sucked on your sensitive bud and fucked two fingers into you, making your back arch and causing you release the most incoherent sentences from your mouth, a mix of swearing, the word god and his name, but really, in that moment, the later two were probably the same to you.
Your hands tugged onto his hair as you reached your high, he looked up at you and kept stimulating your clit with his thumb, inserting a third finger into your hole.
“Cum for me, honey.” He said, sensing you were close to your high and going back to sucking your bud.
Your eyes rolled back in pleasure as you moaned out his name, squeezing his head in between your thighs as he carried you through your orgasm.
Once you were finished, James moved up to kiss you. His mouth moving hungrily against yours.
“I want you.” you said as you pulled away, looking into his eyes.
“You already have me, sweetheart.” He smiled, getting up to get something to clean you up with. You pulled him back by the wrist.
“No, I want you in me. Please. ‘Need more.” You said lowly, giving him a quick peck.
“You sure?” You knew he wanted it too, he just wanted to make you feel good and forget about himself for the rest of the night.
“Yes, please James.” You replied, pulling him by the wrist again once he went to reach for a condom in the nightstand drawer. “I want to feel you. I’m on the pill, please.”
He smiled, taking off his sweatpants and going on top of you, his knees pressed against the mattress next to your thighs as he kissed you, tilting your head to deepen it.
He started kissing your neck, giving soft pecks on the marks he had left behind earlier, while taking his length out of his underwear and lining himself up against your entrance, teasing you with his tip as you practically begged him to get inside of you.
“Patience, baby.” He muttered, slowly starting to thrust into your needy hole whilst pulling your right leg up and bending it, almost making your leg shin touch your thigh as he tried to go as deep as possible.
You couldn’t help but moan out his name once he started thrusting and kept hitting the most perfect spot he could whilst stimulating your bean with his thumb. You clenched around his cock as he started to thrust rapidly into you.
“That’s it baby, you’re doing so good.” He’d whisper in between grunts in your ear while you scratched his back in pleasure. “So- mhm so good for me, baby.” He said, his mouth clashing against yours, his tongue entering your mouth as you opened it. You clenched your pussy around him and you both can’t help but moan into each other’s mouths, his thrusts getting faster and his grunts and moans only louder, showing you how close he also is.
You felt your second orgasm building up as he pinched your clit and you squealed onto his tongue, your teeth clashing, causing him to pull away and smile against your mouth, his teeth against your lips.
“Are you close, princess?” He whispered and you replied with a nod, your nose against his cheek. He thrusted quickly and made circular motions on your clit at the same pace. “Hm, cum for me baby, cum on my cock.” He commanded as you reached your second high, pulling him in by the back of his neck to kiss you again. The kiss was sloppy as he shot his load into you and you clenched around him, his thrusts faltering.
He collapsed right next to you, grabbing his glasses on the bedside table to look at you properly.
“You’re so beautiful.” He praised you, smiling as he stroked your hair. “Thank you for picking up. Thank you for being here. For everything.” He whispered.
“Thank you for calling.” You smiled.
“The pizza’s probably cold.” He muttered, looking at his bedroom door.
“I don’t care.” You gave him a peck. “Merry Christmas, James.”
“Merry Christmas, love.”
#lila writes#silencesscreams#james potter x reader#james potter#james potter fic#james potter x y/n#james potter smut#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfiction#james potter x you#james potter imagine#james fleamont potter#James potter x reader smut
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So, in one of episodes of Spy x Family, during one of Yor's missions, her butt was shot which resulted in her being constantly grumpy from pain, she couldn't tell her husband Loid about it and husband himself couldn't figure out.
So, my request, some group of people tried to attack reader (either to catch her, during one of the missions or attempt to assassinate), they managed to destroy a group, but one of still alive members attempted to kill them, but shoots in the reader's butt instead, which results to them being in pain and constantly refusing to sit down, but they didn't want to confess as it's too embarrassing for them. Request for Kafka, Jing Yuan, Aventurine, Blade, Feixiao, Silver Wolf and Firefly. (Can be read as platonic or romantic)
Through Pain, We Laugh
Tags: Kafka x Reader, Blade x Reader, Silver Wolf x Reader, Firefly x Reader, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Team Dynamics, Embarrassment, Found Family, Mild Injuries, Light Angst, Banter.
Warnings: Minor injury description, mild language, brief mentions of gunfire and violence.
Kafka always carried herself with poise, even in the face of danger. When a group of mercenaries ambushed you during a mission, her calm, calculated demeanor turned the chaos into a graceful symphony of destruction. She took down most of the attackers, making them drop their weapons and stand like obedient puppets.
But as you finished off the last assailant, a desperate grunt hidden among the rubble fired one last shot. The bullet hit its mark: your rear. The sharp pain made you yelp, but you quickly covered it with a cough, unwilling to let Kafka see you falter.
She turned to you, her eyes narrowing. "Are you alright, darling? You’re limping a bit."
You waved her off, refusing to meet her gaze. "Just a scratch. Let’s move."
Kafka smirked knowingly but didn’t press further. Yet, as the mission progressed, you found yourself increasingly irritable. The throbbing pain made sitting impossible, and standing still was no better. During a stakeout, Kafka finally addressed the elephant in the room.
"You’ve been pacing for the past ten minutes. What’s wrong?" she asked, leaning against the wall with her signature grace.
You froze. "Nothing. Just restless."
Her smile widened, a teasing glint in her eyes. "You’re a terrible liar. Did one of those grunts actually manage to hurt you?"
"N-no!" you blurted, too quickly.
She stepped closer, her voice a silky whisper. "Oh, I see. You’re too embarrassed to admit it, aren’t you? Let me guess—lower body, perhaps?"
Your flushed silence was answer enough. Kafka chuckled, a rich, amused sound. "I won’t press you further, but next time, don’t let pride get in the way of your health. We wouldn’t want you too sore to enjoy the spoils of victory."
Her wink made your cheeks burn hotter than the bullet wound, but you knew she’d keep your secret—for now.
Blade was no stranger to danger. He was always the first to step into a fight, his cracked sword cleaving through enemies with precision. During the ambush, he moved like a shadow, dispatching attackers before they even realized he was there.
You held your own, but one assailant got lucky. The moment you turned your back, a gunshot rang out, and sharp pain bloomed in your backside. You stumbled but quickly straightened, refusing to show weakness.
Blade noticed your wince but said nothing, his eyes briefly flicking to you before returning to the battlefield. Once the last enemy fell, he sheathed his sword and walked over.
"You’re hurt," he said bluntly, his gaze piercing.
"It’s nothing," you replied through gritted teeth.
He raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. "You’re favoring your left side. What happened?"
"I said it’s fine," you snapped, your irritation fueled by both pain and embarrassment.
Blade’s expression didn’t change, but his eyes softened—just slightly. "If you’re injured, it’s better to address it now. Pride won’t stop infection."
You bit back a groan as the pain flared again. "It’s... not serious. Just leave it."
To your surprise, Blade didn’t push further. Instead, he turned and started walking. "Suit yourself. But if you collapse later, don’t expect sympathy."
His dry tone was infuriating, but the slight smirk you caught as he turned away told you he knew exactly what had happened—and he wasn’t letting you off the hook.
Silver Wolf treated every mission like a level in her favorite game. This one had been particularly fun—an ambush filled with “noobs” who underestimated her hacking skills and combat prowess. With her “aether editing” ability, she turned the tide easily, and you were right there beside her, holding your own.
That is, until a stray bullet hit you square in the rear. You bit your tongue to keep from crying out, your pride refusing to let Silver Wolf see your pain.
When the dust settled, she turned to you, grinning. "That was sick! You okay, though? You’re walking funny."
"Fine," you muttered, trying to play it cool.
She tilted her head, her purple glasses catching the light. "Really? 'Cause it looks like you’re trying not to sit on a spike."
"I’m fine," you repeated, more forcefully this time.
Silver Wolf raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Alright, whatever. But if you’re gonna keep standing during our post-mission chill time, I’m definitely gonna roast you for it."
You grumbled under your breath, refusing to meet her gaze as you leaned awkwardly against a wall. As she pulled out her game console and plopped onto the ground, she smirked up at you.
"By the way," she said casually, not looking up from her screen, "next time you take a bullet to the butt, just say so. I could’ve hacked their aim, y’know."
Your face turned beet red, and Silver Wolf’s laughter echoed through the room.
The ambush had been swift and chaotic, leaving you and Firefly back-to-back in a flurry of gunfire and explosions. The Stellaron Hunter’s sharp instincts saved you both more than once, her hair catching the light as she darted through the battlefield like a ghost.
The last attacker, desperate and cornered, aimed his weapon recklessly. Firefly moved to block, but the bullet veered off course, striking you in the most humiliating place imaginable.
You hissed in pain, staggering. Firefly turned immediately, her eyes filled with concern. “Are you hurt?”
“No!” you blurted, too quickly. “It’s nothing! Let’s just… move on.”
Firefly’s brow furrowed, but she nodded, respecting your privacy. However, as the mission progressed, your behavior became impossible to ignore. You avoided sitting, leaned against walls in odd positions, and grimaced every time you took a step.
“Okay,” Firefly said finally, crossing her arms. “What’s wrong? Don’t say ‘nothing.’ I’ve seen you dodge Swarm projectiles more gracefully than this.”
You sighed, heat rising to your cheeks. “It’s… personal.”
Firefly’s gaze softened. “You don’t have to tell me, but if it’s serious, we should get it treated. I won’t judge.”
Her sincerity caught you off guard. While you still couldn’t bring yourself to admit the truth, her support made the pain a little more bearable.
Later, as you limped off to find a private place to rest, Firefly called out, her voice tinged with humor. “Just don’t make it worse, okay? The Hunters can’t afford to lose someone as stubborn as you.”
Her teasing smile reminded you that even in embarrassment, you weren’t alone.
#x reader#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#kafka honkai star rail#kafka hsr#hsr kafka#kafka#blade honkai#blade hsr#blade x y/n#blade x reader#hsr blade#hsr firefly#firefly hsr#firefly#silver wolf honkai star rail#silver wolf hsr#silver wolf x reader#silver wolf#humor#hurt/comfort#fluff#team dynamics#embarrasment#found family#mild injuries#light angst#banter
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!! SPOILERS !! Arcane: Season 2, Episode 7 (LONG A- BRAINDUMP)
Found this in my drafts and it’s kinda too funny not to post (sorry if it makes no sense, I was very emotional)
LITERALLY the most emotionally violent thing I’ve ever experienced and I NEED to talk about it:
OKAY so like, Ekko wakes up in this dream world where everything is perfect and I’m like "aww cute, it’s like a Hallmark movie," and then 2 SECONDS later “WAIT NO, THIS ISN’T REAL, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS TO ME” because the moment he gets comfortable, the show’s like, “LOL nope, here’s reality, have fun with the trauma, buddy.”
THE CONTRAST. THE JUxtaposition of dream vs. nightmare?? I can’t breathe.
I’m screaming because Ekko’s dream world is all golden light and perfect and everyone is alive, and I’m sitting here like “YES, PLEASE LET HIM LIVE IN THIS ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE HIS FAMILY DOESN’T DIE” and then reality is sharp and cold and cracked and I’m CAN YOU PLEASE NOT JUST SHOVE THIS MUCH PAIN INTO MY FACE???
The clock motif is an entire thesis on grief and time, why is this show so goddamn smart?? Ekko’s dream world is a pristine clock, but the real world is “lol no time doesn’t work that way, here’s a broken, rusted piece of trash” and I’m sitting here like, YES, tell me more about how time is a construct and I’m crying because none of us can go back and fix things. THANKS, ARCANE, FOR THE PAIN.
ALSO
Powder in the dream world?? She’s soft and innocent and I “holy SHIT this is the Powder we could have had, this is what she could have been if everything wasn’t so messed up,” and then I blink and she’s Jinx again, chaotic, explosive, neon nightmare fuel, and I’m just lying on the floor like "why do I do this to myself." I LOVE HER DONT GET ME WRONG BUT I ALSO WANT HER TO BE HAPPY
And don’t even get me started on Ekko and Powder dancing like it’s some kind of tragic, beautifully animated nightmare. I’m crying, I’m sobbing, I’m screaming, because this is the kind of thing that could have been real if the fate of their world didn’t DESTROY THEM. Who hurt you, Ekko? WHO HURT YOU BOTH??
The soundtrack in this episode is too much for me to handle. It starts off all soft and whimsical like “oh, this is nice, everything’s fine, I’m fine,” and then—BOOM—reality hits and I’m curled in a ball crying because it feels like every note is punching me in the gut. (This will definitely be a separate post)
There’s just so much GRIEF in this episode. Like, Ekko doesn’t want to leave the dream world because it’s everything he ever wanted, and honestly, I GET IT. Who wouldn’t want to live in a universe where your worst trauma never happens?? But then he HAS to leave because it’s not real, and reality is just there, waiting to crush you like a hextech bomb.
And I swear to god, the entire episode is a metaphor for “it’s not your fault, but it still hurts, and you can’t change the past, and that’s the worst part.” So yeah, I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how to recover from this emotional rollercoaster that is literally breaking my brain.
Arcane is a work of art, but it’s also a weapon of mass destruction. And I am DONE.
#I am literally not ok I love this show so much I will never shut up about it#0nyxxxrants#arcane#ekko#ekkojinx#jinx arcane#powder#ekko arcane#timebomb#league of legends#jinx x ekko#brain dump#netflix#ma meilleure ennemie
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It's Kinda Nice to Help People Find Their Precious Thing : The timeless journey of love, regret, trust, death and hope through Shiguang's life in Link Click Yingdu Episode 1
part -1
It's a very personal rambling actually, not a very critically sound one, if you still wanna read, just letting you know, you are not alone, I went through a lifetime of emotions while watching this.
What’s wrong with the timeline? : Before discussing this, I want to talk about Lu Guang’s age. I have this formula,
Lg’s age : X + 3n, X= his original age, n= the number of times he has dived back in the past to reach the situation of our timeline where Cheng Xiaoshi survived season 1 and made it to the end of the season 2. I am presuming that ‘n times Cheng Xiaoshi dies’ stopped in our timeline, so let us denote our timeline as ‘n*’, which has successfully changed Cheng Xiaoshi’s fate. (For people thinking, where did I get that ‘3’ in my formula, the episode of the lost child in season 1 says that the kidnapping of that little boy happened three years ago, when Shiguang were supposed to be in Yingdu. Basically Shiguang first met and went to Yingdu in 2018.)
The first four minutes of the episode 1 (Successfully made me cry like a wounded hyena left in the middle of a cold desert): What timeline is it? It is one of those timelines of ‘n’ where Cheng Xiaoshi died. Cheng Xiaoshi dies in every nth timeline, except n*. The first time he dies, let us call that timeline ‘n0’. And the first four minutes, let’s suppose it is nEp-1. Is n0 = nEp-1? If yes, then why Vein is punishing Lu Guang for changing the past? It implies that Lu Guang attempted (and succeeded kind of? since he is accused of changing the past) to change the past before? Why would he? For what reason? I have an answer to this convoluted question – Vein is punishing a past Lu Guang (‘innocent’ Lu Guang who didn’t dive and do shit) for the deeds a future Lu Guang committed. Eh? Every theory I suggest contradict with the thing I say next.
Still what I feel is that the narrator Lu Guang who gives the ‘butterfly effect’ speech is not the one who dives in the given visual. The hesitation in the visual suggests that Lu Guang is diving for the first time. I don’t have galaxy brains to understand the timeline theory anyways. And it is probably too early to start guessing.
Basketball symbolism: Life, death, trust, partnership.
I think now we all understand that the basketball motif really stands for a deeper philosophy of life and companionship. And Haoling actually puts that theme in big fat words in case someone missed, “It is so precious to have a trustworthy partner in life”. It is not about basketball. The exposition of first 1 minute 25 seconds deals with it.
1:26 – I howled. That’s not the point. The point is that Vein is actually interested in shooting Lu Guang, he wants his life, not Cheng Xiaoshi’s, he just physically defeats him. (My poor kitty, what the fuck did you do to deserve this, if my theory is right then…). Cheng Xiaoshi fucking dives to take the bullet.
Now, um. Why am I re-watching this? Cheng Xiaoshi dies and transfers his diving power to Lu Guang, the basketball symbolism recurs. Qiao Ling is dead and captain Xiao is dead too. Good. Cheng Xiaoshi says sorry for some reason and asks Lu Guang to save ‘them’, it’s his death wish. So, I am presuming that Lu Guang started diving because it was Cheng Xiaoshi’s last wish to Lu Guang (I need ibuprofen). From my perspective, Lu Guang when he dives, he is not sure what he is able to achieve. He probably goes back to the past just to relive those moments, those three years again. If everything goes well (LMAO my audacity) and Cheng Xiaoshi survives in this Yingdu arc, I am presuming that is our story then will be directly continuing in the two seasons.
Now let us heal a bit. First of all, congratulations to all, Lu Guang is gay. I don’t care what anyone opines, he is gay. He is the owner of that freaking Shakespearean sonnet book and he is the literal tsundere, come on, guys, it should be canon now.
Lu Guang holds his hand as if trying to say, “Please, don’t go”.
You are in acute denial if you say the visuals are not romantic. The white butterfly sits on the basketball he is holding.
That visual is so pretty! The butterflies remind me of tgcf ngl.
Bro, what kind of house does he live in. He is damn rich.
Cheng Xiaoshi : Partner, lets play basketball together again tomorrow. And the content smile Cheng Xiaoshi gives.
Still, somehow, The Eye is the most moving piece of animation I have ever seen, it feels like life with all heartaches and smiles present. I will carry this song with me till the end of time.
Oh, also. How are Vein fans doing? Just checking :D
This song is causing me physical angst.
I wish I can cosplay in my uni’s anime club’s event one day.
Okay so, a friend of mine pointed out that Lu Guang cosplayed as the hero of that RanXi chronicles when there was an attempt to dress Xiaoshi as the heroine. Ok.
Lu Guang checking that damn watch once in a while breaks my heart.
Parallel narrative, foil characters again – metanarrative, two-folded narrative embedded within the narrative (that girl’s story about perseverance, hope, regret, passion, taking the damn risk and further hope, story of RanXi chronicles and Lu Guang explicitly saying how he relates to the story of RanXi’s heroine)
Now I am saying again, I am Sapphic and Qiao Ling, that is Sapphic behaviour, my love, me and my Sapphic friends approve. “That girl is so lovely” the way she says it. AND YES QUEEN! Link Click never forgets to address social issues. Btw, I personally related to that girl when she was rebuked vehemently for voicing her career choice. My acceptance of what I really wanted to do in my life and pursuing it changed the trajectory of my life too. Life is not a flower path but “there are no regrets in dedicating your life to something you care about” – again it echoes the central theme of link click.
Also, (with a shiver) I am realising how the interpretation of the first and second season is rapidly changing (and I like it).
Cheng Xiaoshi, are you jealous?
The chibi shifts are so cute!
Lu Guang has this deep sense of lack of agency, understandable because it arises from the agony of the death of a loved one and this depressive existentialist mood makes him conform to the ‘power’, even though he can be rebellious but that threshold is only initiated with Cheng Xiaoshi’s active intervention.
Again saying, idk what kind of concept of queerness people (most of them who are not queer at all, how do they know what queerness is? How are you dictating?) have, but your friend’s image reflecting in your eyes when he brings a moral and ideological change to your mind and shatters your conformity, that surely is. This continuously happens in season 1 and 2, but we don’t get to know, you know why? Lu Guang’s pov was silenced deliberately. Without him soliloquizing, it’s impossible to know what his real emotional undercurrent is. The way Haoling crafted Lu Guang as a complex and delicate character, man. Man, I would die for him.
Btw, I too agree that putting a hand over his mouth is the second best option to silence him.
Ik it's bittersweet, but princess Guang-guang, don't run away from your fated prince! ( HOW THE FUCK AM I CRYING AGAIN)
this roughly wraps up to 34:30. I can't do more pain today, maybe tomorrow.
#Yingdu episode 1#link click#shiguang daili ren#shiguang#lu guang#cheng xiaoshi#yingdu chapter#donghua#时光代理人#bridon arc#guangshi#queer#gay#tumblr meta#review
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ten (sorta) thoughts on squid game season 2 (SPOILERS):
1. holy fuck this season was so beautiful and the creative genius behind it was so wonderful
2. the rock paper scissors minus one scene has got to be the most intense game scene out of every single one (not game, but game SCENE, as in watching these two friends who i didn’t even care about half a second before be forced to bet their lives against each other only for one of them to be placed with a guaranteed win and not take it was probably the craziest thing to ever happen and fuck having that be the first episode truly through me for a spin)
3. speaking of, the guy that lived (who is known as guy with the wife because me and my brother kept saying that he has a wife as a reason why we want him to live) is one of my favs for no reason, i hope he gets out alright DONT YOU DARE DO ANYTHING TO HIM CAP’N I TRUSTED YOU
4. i knew as soon as they started having two girls bond i was done for and i spent every moment of theirs begging for both of them to live because i think i’ve seen this film before and i didn’t like the ending
5. soooooo many characters and character dynamics were just absolute chef’s kiss and it helps so much with that buildup of hope and tension; last season obviously had some wonderful people and relationships (i’m still not and never will be over the marble game) but something about this new cast was just absolutely wonderful. there were almost no characters i didn’t like or wasn’t invested in, and i am very excited to see how they turn out next season. hyun-ju’s group, gi-hun’s group, hell even thanos’s group i enjoyed all of them. min-su’s betrayal fucked me up so bad though and him failing to save her and having to see her die FUCK. also young-mi’s death was so painful, especially since she was the first main group member death. the mom and son were hilarious im going to fight god if they don’t end up together in either life or death
6. all about women’s rights and women’s wrongs this season, number 11 i love you and i hope you find your child i will kill your almost rapists for you. i don’t care that i hate the military hyun-ju is hot with a gun and she can fuck me with one of she wants. i pray for that fetus please let them get out alive. the mom was fantastic and such a nostalgic character, very accurate portrayal of an auntie and i love her for that. shaman queen is batshit crazy and good for her
7. the set design yall fucking BEAUTIFUL. i can’t describe it, but it just adds so much to that deceitful hope with all the rainbows and clean lines. and also the use of the stairs during the gun fights, ugh so amazing what a great way to repurpose that set
8. ALSO THE ADDED KNOWLEDGE OF THE SOLDIERS SIDE, god i love the extra lore behind their recruitment, their system, all that. loved the twist and as i’ve said i love number 11 shes my queen
9. god seong gi-hun had me ROOTING for him. his sheer determination was felt by me too and i really hoped that he would finally get to get justice, that finale just hurt all that much more
10. i wanted so badly for inho to end up having a semi-redemption arc even though it was unlikely, i unfortunately fell for his manipulation and wanted to believe in him god it hurt watching him use the sounds of someone else’s death to trick gi-hun
#squid game#squid game spoilers#overall this was a nigh perfect season to me#i cannot wait to see the next and kudos to everyone who worked on it because they did a fantastic job
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there is a special place in hell for season eight of supernatural
#WORST season#i hated season eight so bad its the only season i’ve ever skipped episodes in bc it was so bad#season 8 supernatural#season 8#supernatural#the benny stuff was so stupid like i did not give two fucka about him#i tried i really tried but he had no personality#bro was a door#his only personality was being vaguely dependent on dead#don’t get me wrong i still liked some episodes#i liked the whole think about dean choosing to blame himself for ‘leaving’ cas rather than admitting cas chose to leave him#and i liked the naomi plot#and the kevin and crowley plot#but i could not handle the episodes where dean and sam were alone#the show was so determined to make sam in the wrong that season even though he was obviously in the right#like the way they tried to contrast benny with amelia was insane.#they were two different scenarios and both times dean was in the wrong!!!#dean winchester#sam winchester#vague rant#spn rant#spn#spn season 8
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Me through most of Boom: Wow, this is a really solid dramatic episode.
Me when Moffat needlessly sprinkles in anti-faith sentiments without specifying that it’s blind faith in bad things that the Doctor doesn’t like, which makes it come off like the Doctor is just against religion generally:
#doctor who#dw critical#spoilers#dw spoilers#i get it edgelord you don’t care for religion. you don’t have to alienate religious members of the audience.#i at least appreciated that the doctor agreed with splice that gone and dead are different things and told her to keep the faith#but like. he immediately thereafter still tells mundy that he doesn’t like faith and spent the whole episode disparaging it.#which just feels so wrong for a show that’s supposed to be open minded about the beliefs and cultures all across the universe#i hate when writers gratuitously make the doctor take a hard and broad stance on something that he would NOT#reminds me of s8 when twelve suddenly hated all soldiers#as if some of his closest friends haven’t been soldiers? brigadier? benton and yates? sara?#big difference between corrupt military and literally every soldier#the same way there is a big difference between a corrupt religious organization or individuals who use religion as an excuse for cruelty#and like. ALL faith and the idea of having a faith that you live by whatsoever.#just because his comments were aimed at something corrupt doesn’t mean they weren’t WAY too sweeping as if he meant it on the whole#i definitely enjoyed the bulk of the episode but that just felt like it was done in bad faith and made me uncomfortable#and i just read moffat’s comment on the thoughts and prayers thing and UGH#i get why there are circumstances in which that can feel hollow — usually if it’s coming from a corporation that could actually do somethin#but can we not villainize all the normal people who genuinely mean that with love?#people who often CAN’T do anything but say prayers for you?#that IS a legitimate response and a legitimate action#someone can’t physically aid you but cares to take the time to talk to the God of the universe about you and your need and plead for you#don’t tell me that isn’t love or that it’s not really doing anything#sometimes that’s all you CAN do and it’s more than people give it credit for#blatant disregard and willful misunderstanding of faith like this just rub me wrong#it’s painting with a broad brush and it’s close minded#and yes i’m gonna post this. i’m feeling controversial.#my love/aggravation relationship with moffat continues#in the wise words of kira nerys. if you don’t have faith you can’t understand it and if you do then no explanation is necessary.
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how unfortunate that i have two hyperfixations, several side interests, and a load of homework all clamoring at the same time for priority in my brain
#it’s so frustrating rn because yeah i do have to get some online coursework done so I don’t fail this class#but i ALSO want to relax before to go to bed#so what do i do?#(after i finish another module)#i could start heartstopper season 2 or i could make progress on the book i started today or i could watch a mission impossible movie#or i could watch a greta gerwig movie or i could start that tv show starring rebecca ferguson#there’s no WRONG choice but i want to do it all#& at the same time therefore this feeling that i have to watch things at the ‘right’ time in order to achieve maximum enjoyment#so like. that’s setting me back too because i want to reach maximum enjoyment for all these things#my gut feeling is to just start watching silo since i’m already obsessed with rebecca anyway#and if i watch mission i’d have to start from the first movie which she’s not in (until the fifth movie)#and i’ve been consuming so much alice oseman content lately i feel like i need to take a small break before i watch heartstopper s2#and my book… well i am in a rush to finish it because i have to get through all my library books before i move#but it could probably wait until tomorrow#idk maybe i’ll watch an episode of silo and then read a few chapters if i’m still awake enough#wow this is such a rambly post i’m so sorry#belle speaks
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I've never seen X files, is it good?
If you like a bit of spooky, a bit of silly, plenty of 90’s nostalgia, and a male-female partnership based on mutual respect and trust despite differences, then heck yeah it’s good 👍 also this was back when people actually made good shows that sometimes had filler episodes/monster of the week episodes (complimentary) because they weren’t trying to cram plot as tightly as possible into one season before they got canceled by Netflix
#don’t get me wrong#there are some ridiculous episodes lol#but honestly they still have charm#and the show isn’t afraid to make fun of itself#also I am a SUCKER for male/female relationships like this#based on absolute trust and respect as equal partners#(why royai is my otp)#I always think about that one post about queerbaiting but for straight couples and the reblog saying it’s just x files lmao#and it’s SLAPS#anyway#also it’s fun bc you KNOW there’s no way they could make a show like this in todays social climate#I mean heck this was even before 9/11 (or at least the first half of the show or so)#x files#it’s one of my comfort shows#just like some of the resident evil games are my comfort games
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I do wish there were more clues or hints to Gabriel’s and Beelzebub’s relationship and they didn’t wait until the last episode to reveal literally everything but it’s cool since it was very Lovely
#loved this season but my only complaint was that it seemed like a lot of… NOW DONT KILL ME FOR SAYING IT BUT…. filler episodes#it was still good don’t get wrong but I understand this season was supposed to be a bridge to the next#I only wish it was a little more eventual or some foreshadowing#good omens
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,
#one thing that has certainly not changed as i’ve moved from the b*ddie side of the fandom to the b*cktommy side#is the arrogance of some fans that look down on others because they have concerns about the show or think they missed some opportunities#that was very present on the b*ddie side when i was there (would imagine it still is) and apparently it’s also a theme over here lol#it’s pretty jarring when i compare it to my one of my other big fandom experiences (tvd)#like people were constantly shitting on the storylines and the writers and julie plec 😭#so many steroline fans were worried that they would ruin the ship once they got together lmfao#it’s just very different compared to this show and i don’t know if i really understand why?#because there are plenty of things to criticize this show about lmao#maybe because this show is clearly for adults and tvd was a young girl’s show? idk#it’s weird and both kinda suck in their own way ngl#anyway#oh and i’ve been thinking about the promo for episode 5 and there’s no way t*mmy is in that episode either lmao#i just don’t see where he would even fit in#know better than to even hope for a mention atp… lol#boy was i wrong in taking tim seriously when he said he liked t*mmy because he would be easy to incorporate into the dynamic of the 118#because he’s being treated like every other li b*ck and edd*e have ever had so far#which is really disappointing tbh!#the way he was treated last season sure made it seem like he was gonna be different but alas#certainly doesn’t seem to be the case anymore#i have some Thoughts on why that might be that might get me excommunicated so i’ll keep them to myself for now lol#anyway people have a lot of good reasons to be concerned because ik i am lmao
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tried to rewatch o.hshc and it just kept getting worse
#don’t get me wrong there are some hilarious parts but like#I cannot get over tamaki constantly referring to himself as haruhi’s father#like I get the ‘daddy’ and ‘mommy’ joke with tamaki and kyoya but FATHER???#and obviously Hikaru and Kaoru are their own brand of gross (for obvious reasons) and manipulative#the entirety of the beach episode#and when they compare Lobelia to literal nazis… yeah that’s when I had to turn it off#call me soft or whatever but actually what the fuck#there’s more to be said but I’m not getting into it rn#my face went from 🫤 to ☹️ to 😟 to 😦#was trying to post this as critical or anti oh.shc but even putting that abbrev in the tag makes it show up under the main tag#and I’m not trying to drag anyone down who still enjoys it#bc I do understand that there are some redeemable qualities about it but it’s just not for me
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Extracurricular
(gif source)
A/N: this has been sitting in my drafts fully written for like a month, i’m so sorry 😅 but i know we all love the professor episode, so I had to write a little something about it 🫶🏻 - mod angel
Pairing: Professor!Reid x Wife!Reader
Summary: Spencer is confused about why so many students are auditing his class. As his wife, you decide to come and investigate.
~~~
You heard the apartment door open, glancing up to see Spencer drop his keys on the table by the door.
You were reading on the couch, laying down and killing time before it was time for him to come home. You sat up, placing your bookmark on the page you last read before dropping your book on the coffee table. “Welcome home,” you smiled up at him.
He flashed a little smile, but you could tell something was up. You moved to sit cross-legged, making room for him on the couch. “What’s wrong?” You asked, patting the spot next to you so he could sit.
He plopped down on the couch, sighing, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. You leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into you.
“You looked so excited this morning,” you ran your fingers through his hair, something that had become routine when he came back from a tough case, or just needed some extra affection for any reason. “What happened?”
He sighed again, turning to look at you, resting his head back on the couch. “I don’t know, I was really excited to teach. I love sharing what I know with people.”
You nodded, fully aware of this. It was something you loved about him, always eager to teach you something new. It was annoying when other people did it, but not when Spencer did it. “Uh-huh. So what’s the problem?”
“I… I was eager to be an actual professor, hoping I could help people with their studies and their grades.” He looked a little frustrated. “But most people are only auditing the class. Only a handful aren’t.”
You nodded thoughtfully. “That’s not what you were expecting, huh?”
He shook his head. “I mean, I guess it’s good that people want to learn about this stuff? It’s just not how I pictured it.” He shrugged, running a hand through his hair. “At least they’re listening to me. And some of them are pretty enthusiastic about participating. There were a few girls who seemed really excited about this stuff.”
You looked at him, narrowing your eyes a bit, a little smile on your face. “Wait, so… these people are auditing your class. And girls are participating… you said they listen to you… do you think they’re paying a little too much attention to you?” You inquired, slightly amused.
He gave you a confused look. “What do you mean? I think it’s a normal amount of attention to pay to a class.” He shrugged. “I mean, I always felt like no one was paying enough attention when I was in college, so I was pleasantly surprised that people were actually participating, asking questions, some of them even stayed for a bit after the class let out because they wanted to know more.”
You couldn’t help but let out a little laugh. “Uh-huh… so, you got college students to not only stay awake, but alert and attentive… and they wanted to stay after class,” you spoke slowly, wondering if he would get the hint.
He nodded. “Yeah? Why?”
You gave him a pat on the shoulder, smiling and shaking your head. “Yeah, I know exactly why so many people are auditing your class.”
He still looked confused. Very oblivious. It was kind of adorable. “I don’t understand,” he replied, his brows furrowed.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, twirling a finger in his hair. “They must’ve heard that this class has a sexy professor.” You laugh softly, watching the cogs turn in his brain as he processed this.
He scrunched his nose a bit, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think that…” He stopped, his eyes darting around as he became deep in thought. Probably perfectly recalling everything from his class that day. “… You really think that’s it?”
You nodded, kissing his cheek. “It’s adorable you wouldn’t have even considered that if I didn’t say anything.” He was absentmindedly running his thumb over your hand that rested on his shoulder. “I mean, I don’t blame them. I’d definitely audit your class.” You took his hand and started twirling his wedding band around his ring finger. “Did you tell them you’re married?”
He started to blush a little at the attention you were giving him, and at the thought of other people wanting to give him attention. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned it at some point… I think someone asked about it-“ He cut himself off, looking at you again. “Okay, maybe you’re right.”
You laughed, draping your legs over his as you gave him a quick kiss on the lips, which he returned. “Maybe I should visit your class, see what all the fuss is about,” you winked at him.
He smiled, running his fingers through your hair. “I don’t know if I’d be able to concentrate with you there.” He leaned in to kiss your forehead. “But, I admit, it would be nice.”
The conversation eventually fizzled out, as you and Spencer naturally fell into your usual evening routine; mostly just sitting on the couch in each other’s arms, talking, watching TV, and eating dinner.
You had an idea in your head the whole time, keeping it to yourself. You had a surprise planned out now.
…
The next day, after Spencer left for his class, you quickly got dressed to head out, throwing on a sweater and modest skirt with some flats. Nothing too fancy, you wanted to fit in with the other students.
You remembered him telling you the building his class was in, and you were able to slip in like you were supposed to be there. You found the classroom after wandering for a while, quite a few students already sat in the class. Of course; very eager, you thought
You thought about just sitting in the back to blend in with the background, but something possessed you to sit in the middle near the other girls in the class. Not really jealousy; you knew Spencer has never even given anyone else a second glance since you started dating. It was more like… pride. Perhaps a smug feeling. You may be infatuated, but that’s my husband.
You sat down near a group of girls, and they eyed you for a moment. You fidgeted, thinking they were going to start whispering bad things about you. Habit from when you were in school.
Instead, one of the girls leaned over, speaking to you in a friendly tone. “Hey, are you new to this class?”
You probably should have just admitted that you weren’t actually a student, but part of you just wanted to see what would happen. “Yeah, this is my first time here.”
She leaned in to whisper, “Did you hear about the professor? Is that why you’re here?” She was giving you a genuine look, seemingly just curious. Or maybe happy to talk to someone about this.
You feigned innocence. “No, I was just interested in the subject. Is there something special about him?” You reply in the same hushed tone as her.
She looked at the other girls around her, and they all giggled. One of the other girls responded. “He’s super hot. Didn’t you hear the rumors?”
You bit back a smile. It felt strange, having people talk about him like this. “No, I didn’t hear anything. Is that really true?” You tried to seem interested, without being conspicuous.
All the girls nodded. You leaned in a bit to match their enthusiasm.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” one of the girls whispered. “He said he’s very happily married.” She all but rolled her eyes at that.
A little smile appeared on your face, a warm feeling rushing over you. You put your hand under the table, hiding your wedding ring. “Really? Well… maybe I can have better luck with him.” You rested your chin in your other hand, smiling smugly.
She scoffed, obviously not believing you. “Yeah, sure. He wouldn’t even look at any of us.” She shook her head. “If you want to believe it, go ahead. I’ll be waiting to say I told you so.”
You were cut off by the sound of a door opening and closing. Spencer stepped out in front of everyone, putting some papers down on his desk. The girls immediately stopped their conversation, sitting up straighter in their chairs and facing forwards. You covered your mouth to keep yourself from snickering.
Spencer greeted the class, who echoed back his greeting. He started to introduce the material he was going to be talking about today, when his eyes settled on you. His expression softened.
You gave him a little wink and a subtle wave. He looked like he was holding back a smile, looking away from you to concentrate on teaching.
It was really a sight to behold, he had most of the class twirling their hair, wrapped around his finger without him even realizing. Not like you could blame the students; he was always able to make everything seem fun and exciting. It was something you loved about him.
The class seemed to fly by. You were honestly glad you came; you could watch him talk for hours. You’re sure he would if you asked, and you were considering it after seeing this.
When he dismissed the class, the girls started swarming him at his desk. You laughed and rolled your eyes, standing up slowly and hanging back a bit.
You could see him politely answering questions, ignoring the girls sitting on his desk and quickly packing up his things.
You walked closer to his desk, and he looked up and smiled. “Hey!” He called out to you, rushing over to wrap you up in a hug. You could feel the stares on you as you settled into his arms, and he kissed your forehead. “I didn’t know you were coming today!”
You smiled up at him. “I thought I’d surprise you.” You reached up to give him a quick peck on the lips, solidifying the jealous eyes that were glaring daggers at you. You couldn’t help it; you felt a pride building up inside you that you were the one he sought out while he was being crowded like this. “Surprise?”
He laughed, tucking you into his side, his arm around your waist. “Yeah, surprise.” He turned to everyone who was still lingering around you, their faces a mix of confusion and jealousy. “Everyone, this is my wife.”
You gave a small wave, everyone greeting you halfheartedly. You locked eyes with the girl who initially approached you earlier. She seemed more embarrassed than angry.
Spencer gave you one last little hug. “I have a few things to finish up, I’ll meet you home later, okay?”
You nodded, giving him one last little parting kiss before he slung his bag over his shoulder and started to walk out of the classroom door.
Everyone was looking at you again, and you felt a little embarrassed now that Spencer wasn’t there with you. You started to excuse yourself quietly, trying to get out the door quickly without bringing more attention to yourself.
You heard someone catch the door after it almost closed behind you. “Hey,” they called out as they caught up to you.
You turned to see the same girl again, and you had to suppress your instinct to run away. Instead, you just nodded at her, giving her your attention since that was obviously what she was asking for.
“I, uh…” she started, her tone nervous. “What I said earlier, I wasn’t trying to say anything bad about you, I was just…”
You gave a soft chuckle in response, shaking your head. “It’s alright. I get it.” You gave a little wave of dismissal. “I might’ve done the same if I was in your position.”
That seemed to ease her worries a bit. “Thanks for being cool about this.” She hugged the books she was carrying closer to her chest. She spoke a little softer. “Dr. Reid spoke very highly of you, you know. When we asked about his wedding ring.” She flinched a bit. “Which I guess was kind of a weird thing to ask…”
You smiled, shaking your head a bit. He had people asking about his wedding ring, and he didn’t even have a second thought about it. “It’s alright. He didn’t even think anything of it. He thought you were just really interested in the course material.”
She furrowed her brows. “Really?” She still looked confused when you nodded. “Huh. Well, I guess he really loves you if he doesn’t even notice people flirting with him.”
You shrugged. “No, he’s just a little clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. I had to really spell it out for him that I was interested in him when I asked him out on our first date.” You smiled warmly at the memory, reliving those early days of your relationship, so long ago now.
She let out a soft laugh. “That’s kinda funny, actually.” She stopped walking, looking like she had to start walking a different way. “So… no hard feelings?”
You turned towards her and shook your head. “No, not at all. Maybe try not to come onto him in the future, though.” You smiled slightly, your tone light and casual.
“Of course,” she laughed awkwardly. “Um. I have to go to class now, so…”
You nodded at her. “Go ahead. Hope you have a good day.”
She smiled. “You’re really cool. I see why he likes you. Most people would’ve been really angry if they were in this situation.”
“Well, I’m not insecure about our relationship.” You felt your phone buzz, and you took it out of your pocket to see a text from Spencer, making you smile. “And I don’t fault anyone for being attracted to him.”
“Cool,” she said, starting to step back a little more. “Um. It was nice meeting you.”
You gave her a little wave. “You too. Hope you enjoy the class; Spencer is really happy to be able to teach people, so I hope everyone is actually listening to him and not just staring at him.”
She laughed lightly, her demeanor a little warmer now. “I’ll try to get the message out.” She waved and said goodbye before turning around and walking away.
You finally looked at the text Spencer sent you:
Hey, do you think you could pick up some dessert on your way home? I’m really craving something sweet. Maybe we could make brownies?
You smiled to yourself. Seeing all those people throwing themselves at Spencer really made you appreciate what you had with him. He had people gawking over him, but you were the one who got to go home with him and make dessert, and have all these sweet moments with him. You’d never get over just how lucky you were to be the one he chose to spend his life with.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds fanfiction#fanfiction#mod angel
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An Asexual's love letter to Good Omens 2
There's an infamous quote by Neil Gaiman going around, regarding the general vibe of season 2, and many people (I believe humorously) yelling that it could not be further from the truth. Particularly in the last episode, where that happens.
I disagree.
The final episode of season 2 was deeply, deeply comforting to me.
I am asexual. Have been my whole life. Even before I had the words to describe what that was, child-me had this feeling in their gut of being an outlier, that everyone was exaggerating, or in on some joke, that I wasn’t privy to. Because I was bombarded on all sides by shows and movies and books, telling the same story of love, again, and again, and AGAIN. It’s drilled into our brains with the same fervor as the days of the week, or the quadratic formula. Meet-cute -> misunderstanding ->declaration of feelings ->kiss. More or less steps can be added to account for runtime or complexity of narrative, but that’s the basic structure that a relationship follows. It MUST be, because that’s the formula every character who's ever been in a story goes through, often times when it even feels like an add-on, like it’s only there because this is a story, there HAS to be a romance. And it has to follow the steps.
For a long time, I felt love wasn’t for me, because if there’s only one way to be in love, I sure as hell wasn’t feeling it.
Instead, the relationship I ended up in looked a lot like what Beezlebub and Gabriel go through. Meeting someone routinely until it starts to feel comfortable. Getting to know them and slowly growing more attached. Eating chips and listening to music.
We like to joke whenever someone asks us how long we’ve been together, because the answer is we just sort of slowly fell into it, and we honestly don’t know when the line got blurred between ‘friends’ and ‘partners’. And, at least for me, a good deal of that confusion, that hesitancy to label, came from the fact that what I was feeling, what we were, couldn’t be love. It couldn’t be romantic.
We were just quiet and gentle.
And that wasn’t love.
Because it was slow, because it wasn’t physical, because there was no structure aside from consistency and companionship. Because it didn’t follow the Rules.
Then I found myself in stories, and it felt like a revelation.
Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t the first time I’ve seen a love like I feel represented in a narrative, but it never stops feeling special. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop celebrating it.
Throughout the sequence in the pub, I kept expecting them to “confirm” Gabriel and Beelzebub. A dramatic line, a kiss, a whatever. That’s what I’ve been taught to expect, after all, that’s the only way a relationship is “real”. Of course, this doesn't mean Crowley and Aziraphale sharing a dramatic kiss is wrong, or that I can’t see why it resonated with so many people, but for me. Those moments in the pub are worth so much more.The last scene might have been literally showstopping, but those handful of moments between the duke of hell and an archangel were the beating heart of the season for me. A simple love story in four scenes. No kisses. No ‘I love you’s. Not even any definition of what. The love Gabriel and Beelzebub have is strong enough for them to both want to shatter their worlds and flee their lives and it's just.
It's just that.
Two people in a pub, playing the other's favorite song, giving a little gift, buying a packet of crisps.
That sequence means far more to me than any kiss ever could.
Love isn’t only real when it's hot and sudden and ephemeral, it can also be
Quiet.
And gentle.
And still romantic.
Still real.
#I sometimes remember this sequence and just feel so light inside#good omens#good omens season 2#good omens season 2 spoilers#good omens s2#good omens s2 spoilers#asexual#ace#ace pride#actually asexual#asexual spectrum#essays#ineffable bureaucracy#lord beelzebub#archangel gabriel
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Trying to translate everything Ragatha said while she was high:
“She’d rather be with the NPC than with us, or something.”
Tranlation: “I’ve been nothing but nice to her, and even forgave her for abandoning me, and she goes and shows compassion to someone who isn’t even a real person.”
….. ….. …..
“Why are you even the boss, anyway? I feel like I’m way more responsible than you.”
Translation: “I’ve tried to be positive for everybody, and make sure they’re comfortable. And yet Caine saw leader material in you? I should’ve been in charge for all I’ve done.”
….. ….. …..
“I like… hate you. But I don’t want you to hate me. Is that weird?”
Translation: “Is it wrong that even though, I’ve acknowledge you’re a horrible person…. I want you to see me as a good person? To feel like I’m the better person….?”
….. ….. …..
My impression of Ragatha so far (past episodes included):
- She’s used to talking to people in a way were they’re like kids, because she normally uses her charm and positivity in people younger than her. They normally work, and she’s used to being acknowledged by others with her sweet personality.
But in the circus everyone is a grown adult (even if some of them are a little immature—ahem—Jax). And with most of them accepting that there’s no hope in that world, Ragatha’s peppy spirit has no effect on them. But she’s too used to being successful in getting through someone with her personality, so she kept the act up until it’s mostly an ‘act’ now.
Without realizing it, her attitude has become toxic positivity. It doesn’t work on anyone, but it is affecting her. Pomni thanking her in episode 3 was probably the first time in a while someone showed appreciation to her caring nature. Seeing Pomni go to Gummigoo just reminded her that she only acknowledged her once, and had shown more empathy to someone who won’t even remember her by the next adventure (Gummigoo’s expression says otherwise, but I’m talking in Ragatha’s pov).
Her saying “I wish someone would flirt with me…” was more of her wanting to be recognized for who she is. That one ‘thank you’ she got from Pomni was appreciated, but wasn’t enough for her. (This is talking outside of shipping ofc. We’re still free to use this for shipping purposes hehehe)
Additionally, as soon as Caine gave them an adventure where someone needs to take charge. Like a BOSS. Ragatha felt some sort of jealousy that she wasn’t chosen for the responsibility.
#the amazing digital circus#tadc#ragatha#pomni#tadc ragatha#tadc pomni#the amazing digital circus ragatha#the amazing digital circus pomni#tadc ep 4
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