#don’t get me started on the past 2 seasons of Riverdale

[negans-lucille-tblr]

Negan Masterlist

Below you’ll find all of my Negan fictions.

Please note any trigger warnings and if a fic is 18+ before reading! 

(back to Main Masterlist)

JDM and Characters Master-Masterpost

CROSSOVERS

Prized Possession

Summary: Negan’s back at Alexandria to collect and this time he wants Rick’s prized possession; you.

Rating: 18+ - NSFW (Smut, Fluff and Angst)

Status: Complete

Chapters: 29

TW: scenes of dub-con and sexual assault

* * *

A - Z with Negan (Smut Edition)

Summary: A short story for each letter of the alphabet exploring many different kinks and fantasies with Negan.

Rating: 18+ - every single part will be smut, some mild, some strong.

Status: Complete

Chapters: 26

TW: Knife play, Rape play

* * *

Loyalties Lie

Summary: Dean, Y/N and Sam are doing all they can to survive in the apocalypse when they stubble across the Saviors. Negan’s striking resemblance to their father, John, has Sam weary and Dean eager to please. But Negan is leading Dean down a dark path despite Y/N and Sam’s attempts to keep him away. As things take a turn for the worst, everyone is left to question where their loyalties lie.

A TWD/SPN crossover set in The Walking Dead Universe (Around season 8)

Rating: 18+ (Smut, Major Angst, Fluff, Dark themes)

Status: Posting on Patreon - coming soon to Tumblr

Chapters: 20

Patience is a Virtue

Summary: Returning to your old high school for college placement, you find yourself being mentored by Coach Negan, the teacher you would relentlessly flirt with as a student, only this time, he’s not letting you get away with it so easily.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (Smut and some Angst)

Parts: 2

Part One    Part Two

* * * 

The Backseat

Summary: Y/N is the spoiled, ‘pampered princess’ daughter of rich businessman, Simon Y/L/N. As soon as she hits 18 she starts to prove she’s quite the handful. Meanwhile, Simon’s recently divorced best friend, Negan, is looking for a job. Simon hires Negan to chauffeur and keep control of Y/N, but it’s not long before she’s making him lose control too.

Rating: 18+ (Smut, Angst, Fluff)

Parts: 5

* * * 

Escape

Summary: Y/N is desperate to escape her hometown and her controlling half-brothers, Sam and Dean, and now she’s 18 college seems like the only way out. But her gym coach, Negan is failing her and his proposition to help her pass takes a bad turn.

A SPN/TWD Crossover mini fic set in an AU

Rating: 18+ (Dark Fic - Smut/Angst/Sistercest)

Bad Blood (AU)

Summary: You thought you’d put the past behind you, until it moves it moves in next door and opens old wounds and reignites old flames.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (Smut)

* * *

A Night with Negan (JDM/Negan)

Summary: When Jeff discovers you are attracted to his character, Negan, he knows what this year’s anniversary gift will be.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (Smut and a pinch of Fluff)

* * *

Chocolate and Wine

Summary: After nursing some of the Saviors back to health, Negan owes you a favour.

Rating: 13+? (This would literally be like a NR if it wasn’t for Negan and his foul mouth) Fluff

* * *

Numb

Summary: When Negan discovers one of his people is hurting themselves, he does everything in his power to make them feel something better.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (swearing, sex and self harm)

WARNING: SELF HARM. The reader doesn’t physically harm themselves in the fic but it is talked about and there is imagery of the self inflicted wounds, and talk about why they self harm. Please don’t read this if it’s triggering for you.

* * *

It’s Good to be Back

(with FP Jones (Riverdale) )

Summary: Former Serpent King, Negan, is back at his old stomping ground. And as you find out, him and current King, FP, make quite the team

Rating: 18+ NSFW (swearing and sex - shameless threesome)

* * *

Initiation

(with John Winchester (SPN) )

Summary:  Negan doesn’t like your attitude and before you can join the Saviors, John needs to prove he can keep you in your place.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (swearing and sex - shameless threesome)

* * * 

Look What You Made Me Do

Summary: Negan’s there to welcome home his step-daughter after her first date, but he doesn’t like what she chose to wear, and decides to show her what the consequences of dressing like a slut might be.

Rating: 18+ (Dark Fic - non con)

Distraction

Summary: Negan’s watching baseball, but you have a distraction.

Rating: 18+ NSFW (Smut & Swearing)

* * *

Better Grades

Summary: To stay on the dance squad, you need better grades. Which is where Coach Negan comes in. (Smut prompt request)

Rating: 18+ NSFW (Smut)

* * *

Leave a Mark

Summary: No plot, just smut. Kinky sex (spanking), affair. (Smut prompt request)

Rating: 18+ NSFW (smut)

* * *

Coffee

Summary: A blind date with Negan goes well, so you invite him back for coffee. But you don’t get that far. (DRABBLES ARE HARD TO SUMMARISE OKAY!?) (Smut prompt request)

Rating: 18+ NSFW (smut)

* * * 

A Bad Dream

Summary: A bad dream sees you in bed with your step dad, Negan - but it’s far from innocent.

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

A/N: 1000 Followers Prompt request

* * *

Daddy Day Care

Summary: It was Negan’s first day of Daddy day care.

Rating: 13+ (Fluff but some swearing)

A/N: 1000 Followers prompt request

* * *

Better Than You

Summary: Negan knew it was wrong, but no one does it Better than you.

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

A/N: 1000 Followers prompt request

* * *

Room 406

Summary: The sins room 406 has seen…

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

A/N: 1000 Followers prompt request

* * *

The New Recruit

Summary: Negan has a new recruit

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

A/N: 1000 Followers prompt request

* * *

Win You Over

Summary: Negan wants you, but you’re not playing game

Rating: 13+ (Swearing because Negan)

* * *

Daddy’s Little Girl

Summary: Daddy takes what he wants when he’s drunk.

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

A/N: Drunk drabble - dub con, incest could be implied.

* * *

The Best I’ll Ever Have

Summary: Negan’s a proud guy who doesn’t like the idea of being outdone and you can’t wait for him to prove you wrong.  

Rating: 18+ (Smut)

* * *

* Negan Bingo Masterlist *

[wolfofansbach]

Personal thoughts and meditations upon the occasion of the Riverdale series finale. 

Probably like four people are going to read this but I feel compelled to write it out anyway. This show has genuinely been a massive part of my life. I watched the first episode because some high school friends encouraged me to (IRONICALLY, BRO). I was in high school when I started this show. Those friends of course long ago fell away, unable to continue, unable to wacth anymore, but I have kept the faith. All seven seasons. Every. Single. Episode.

I’m not even entirely sure what captivated me so much about the show. I loved the atmosphere of season 1. I genuinely wanted to find out who killed Jason Blossom. Was genuinely fucked up by episode 1 x 12 and the first season finale.

I have such fond memories of watching the first season. I distinctly remember a road-trip I Tok with my friends the summer of 2017, and joking about  maple syrup drug empires and the “weirdo” line back when that was the wildest scene on the show. Joking about how sick of the song ‘Believer’ by Imagine Dragons (2017) we were. 

And then I decided to get involved in a fandom for the first time in a couple of years, and so I revived my old Tumblr, and I began Posting. And reading posts.  

That was my last summer after high school and I was so nervous about college but this show and this fandom helped me get through it. My freshman year I lived in a dorm, and if you wanted to watch TV you had to go down to this common room, so every Thursday I would go down there like an hour ahead of time and occupy the place to make sure the remote was in my hands by 7 PM. A few times I failed, and I missed an episode because of it. But rarely! 

I remember that slowly dawning feeling as season 2 progressed. Scrolling my Tumblr feed and slowly seeing people come to the realization: “wait…is it just me or does this show actually suck.” Was kind of frustrating at the time, realizing that the writers just like…were bad, but in retrospect? Beautiful. Incredible. Legendary. 

And you could even say that’s where the fun really began. Yes, there’s plenty to hate, but also Riverdale is brilliant. The show of all time. For real. No other show has done it like Riverdale. They just haven't, and they never will. The age of the cable television teen drama is ending, and what a hell of a last hurrah Riverdale has been.

The Red Circle. Jingle Jangle. The Gargoyle King. Edgar Evernever and his fantastic rocket. Bret Weston Wallis and Donna Sweett (genuinely cannot say their names without giggling). Jughead getting hit in the head with a rock and faking his death for like…some reason? I genuinely can’t remember, something to do with the Hardy Brothers idk. Tabitha sprinkling the devil with the tears of the Virgin Mary. The normies can laugh all they want about “epic highs and lows” but do they remember the even funnier lines like “if there’s no wedding, that means the gargoyle king has won” or “word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance…” THEY NEVER WILL. ONLY THE TRUE FAITHFUL UNDERSTAND. 

And is silly as it all was, I have genuine affection for these characters. Like Betty, Veronica, Jughead, Archie, Cheryl, Toni, actually mean a lot to me. YES they’re fake but I want the best for them (and for Beronica to be canon but you know we can’t win them all). I’m genuinely grateful that this show has existed and been a part of my life for the past six years. 

Moreover, I credit this show for seriously getting into writing. I’ve actually written almost a million words of Riverdale fanfiction. Much of it will never see the light of day, but it exists. Maybe I even have one or two left in me, I don’t know. At the very least I’d like to finish a few uncompleted fics. But I’ve also branched out. Since I started seriously writing in 2017, I’ve also finished several original manuscripts, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll get one published. Stranger things have happened. 

So, thanks Roberto.

And thanks to all of the very cool people I’ve run into in this fandom. I honestly wish I’d gotten to know most of you better, but them’s the breaks. Hopefully this isn’t weird but I’m going to tag a few people in particular. 

@village-skeptic. I know you’re not in the fandom anymore (lucky you), but thank you for, once upon a time, reading every one of the 200,000+ words of a 17-year-old kid’s turgid, indulgent, Riverdale Spanish Civil War fan fiction. I never, ever would have finished that story without you, and I credit it with giving me the confidence to keep writing, and in fact to write everything I’ve written since then. You’re brilliant and awesome. 

@satelliteinasupernova. Thank you for also reading Interbellum (are we noticing a pattern), and more importantly for all of your wonderful drawings. INCLUDING fanart of some of my fics. You have no idea how happy that Strange Death of Elizabeth Cooper piece made me. You rule. 

@sullypants. You were a perennial presence on my feed. Always wonderful to see. I love your taste in art, and I love those ‘penguin classics’ covers you made for a few of my fics. Thank you also for beta reading a few fics for me back in the glory days. And thank you for chatting with me a couple times over the years, including a few times when I was in quite unhappy places. 

@stillhidden. I’m not sure if we’ve ever actually talked, but you like or reblog everything I post and it makes me feel like I’m not just shouting into the void. Same goes for @frauleinfunf Thank God for dutiful mutuals. 

@sonyascomet. I can’t remember when I started following you but you have a really good sense of humor. And I’ll always remember when you kept posting about “Greg” for Succession and I, not knowing anything about Succession, kept imagining Greg Heffley. 

@stillhidden thank you for your world-weary Riverdale posts. You truly understand fandom like few others.

@halcooper. Your devotion to the neglected parents of Riverdale is truly admirable. Every time I see Lochlyn Munro in some weird low budget horror movie I’ll think of you.

I hope I didn’t forget anyone who would be offended by my forgetting, but I doubt it. 

All this to say this show has been a genuinely huge part of my life for six years. SIX YEARS. I graduated college, my God. I wish I could say I became a millionaire or a successful author in that time, but nah. Maybe one day, but for now I’m just kind of vibing. And unfortunately, I’ll have to vibe without Riverdale from now on. 

But as I sit myself down to watch the very last episode of this show, I remind myself that we’ll always have the memories. And I’ll always be an unapologetic Riverdale enjoyer. As a great man once said, snakes don’t shed their skins so easily. 

[abcdosaka]

The past two weeks since I graduated

- watched a season of riverdale. It’s so entertaining but I’ve stopped at s2e3 may continue sooner or later but I’m already feeling it start to fall off. Idk normally I can’t stand how stupid cw shows are but this one just has me tbh. I thought it was all memes but no it’s like why am I taking this drama seriously

- played the sims 3 and started a simblr. I’m trying to do a 10 Gen legacy challenge and my 3rd Gen are kids rn. The 2nd Gen girl was a bit of a thot she had two kids by a man and a woman using woohooer but tbh the canon explanation could be anything. I think she was born a cis girl since she was the one pregnant for both but the first Gen founder was also fruity and got Holly alto pregnant so we’re gonna say either she’s trans or there was an ivf situation. Since the baby shared their genetics though I feel like it’s mostly likely she’s trans we love that. Really hoping I don’t get bored or the save corrupts bc im kind of invested in getting as much progress on this as I can

I’m trying to update the simblr on my iPad but the iPad keyboard is genuinely so annoying like it actually hurts my hand to type and also the tumblr app is a bit shitty bc why is the poll option in the middle of the bottom bar when you make a post. And when you add a poll you can’t remove it from the post without remaking it, at least on mobile. It’s actually annoying to do this but I’ve always wanted to so we move

Generally been watching a lot of plumbella too like the sims has me ina chokehold rn. I was playing 2 a bit earlier this week but ngl while I love the interactions in 2 (the romance and cinematics especially are peak) I prefer the gameplay of 3 and the open world. Only a few things abt it annoy me like routing which is a problem in every sim game so doesn’t count and the fucking incessant phone calls. I don’t wanna turn off opportunities I just want to reduce the amount. Even the paparazzi I’ve adjusted to but the phone calls are just 😑

Finally started watching hill house again. Forgot I was watching this tbh but it’s so good. Just watched the ep where they all gather round Nell’s casket pls don’t tell me Theo and Kevin were a secret thing like Theo was supposed to be chaotic neutral lesbian representation so why tf does a man have his hands on her

[royxrizafan]

Apropos of literally nothing, I finished Killing Eve and now I’m feeling bitter about how many shows I get invested in that end so poorly it makes me kind of resent the investment I made and not want to ever rewatch again. I honestly don’t watch a fraction of as much TV as I used to and I think I’m realizing that this is why.

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

Are you confident Bughead will be endgame on this show? That’s literally the last strand I’ve been holding onto, but the thread is weakening. I really can’t believe that they would take this ship, their absolute most popular and loved one, and just end it like this forever. I am so angry with the writing!!

Hey there, anon! It is unbelievable, isn’t it?

What a tricky question you ask! confidence + prediction + the Riverdale writers ... As Jughead would say: yikes!

The thing with these writers is that they use a lot of words without knowing their meaning. “Endgame” is one of them. “New” is another. “Exciting”. “Darkness”™. “Adult stories”. “The message”…

Dangling the bughead “endgame” carrot at the end of one or two seasons of no bughead or -worse- of b*rchie and j*bitha f.e. is not an endgame. The general definition of endgame -outside of chess- is: the last stage of a process. If the process (i.e. the season’s content) isn’t about bughead, then bughead coming together at the very end is not an endgame, it's a peripeteia i.e. a sudden or unexpected reversal of circumstances.

In shipping, endgame is a couple that will inevitably end together (for ever and ever and ever). In order for something to be inevitable, you have to create that sentiment, you have to build the couple up.

There’s an article about the misappropriation of the word “endagame” that I find particularly funny, as it starts by mentioning Riverdale!

Anyway, this is a long-winded way to say that, yes, I do believe that the show will end with bughead and varchie as their main canon couples. It’s just that, like you, I’m so very tired with these story lines. There is satisfaction to be had at the notion of endgame but a seasonful of investigative bughead would be infinitely preferable. For me (and I can only speak of myself) the journey is more important than the destination -even if for the simple reason that -in TV show time- it lasts longer!

Why do I think bughead is still … that word? Everything’s under the cut, so as not to clutter your dash!

1. A lot of people have been theorising that what happened in 5x18 was not the original plot. I agree.

Let’s start with 5x18 varchie.

Their break up came completely out of left field. Its unexpectedness is reminiscent of 4x17. I make fun of how s5 is a reboot of s1+s2’s leftover ideas, so another copy-paste shouldn’t feel out of place, and yet … really? Another repetition? To what end? If the season’s goal was not varchie, b*rchie was already there waiting at the beginning of the time jump! Why abandon that plot? In terms of romantic varchie time, that was extremely limited, since after their kiss in 5x7, Veronica’s divorce kept them apart until 5x17 … Why have Archie being extremely jealous of Chad, Veronica getting involved in all of Archie’s schemes (firefighters, bulldogs), Archie getting involved in Ronnie’s (rescuing daddykins) or Veronica telling her father she chooses Archie over him in 5x17? Also, for those who remember, there was this by the-writer-who-shall-not-be-named.

The reason of the break up is as ludicrous as Veronica moving into Archie’s childhood bedroom (with its effing slanted roof!) on the premise that long term the Andrews’ residence has more room! (By the way, I don’t know what surprised me more: that Veronica thought that Archie and uncle Frank would know who Ina Garten is or that Jughead didn’t.) Why is Veronica astounded by Archie’s involvement in the same activities he has been involved in all through the season?! For f***’s sake, she’s the one that gifted him the fire truck!

Ok. Now let’s give 5x18 j*bitha a try.

For me, 5x18 could either have gone bugheadwards or j*bithawards. J*bitha had some heartfelt talks, a hand touch, a hallucination and a kiss. Bughead had one unfinished heartfelt talk (the only one in the whole season for Betty), two shoulder touches, two hallucinations and Jughead attempting to reconnect with Betty (without specifying what his intent was, it's true).

While I do think that j*bitha is a ship that has been adequately teased, the way they were explored in 5x18 was … not underwhelming exactly (after all, they’re not my ship, so I didn’t have any expectations about them) but … maybe lukewarm is the word? They had but minimal dialogue, only enough to establish that Tabitha’s parents were in town. Then a song where Tabitha initially rejects Jughead, although she had been supportive before. Then another song, where the lyrics were heavily altered and didn’t make much sense anyway (we hadn’t been properly introduced to the Tates) but where the original lyrics were very compatible with Bughead’s history and state of being as of 5x17. The kisses were ok, I have no problem with the actors’ chemistry. But -and this is strictly a personal opinion- Jughead’s flirting scenes (not the make-out ones, you perverts!) with Cora were better and so was the j*bitha kiss in 5x10. For the 5x18 j*bitha to flow, more dialogue and more flirting was necessary (always a persona opinion). So, no, I don’t think j*bitha were supposed to sing what they sang in 5x18.

Production for s5 wrapped up one week after the official announcement of the 5 special episodes for Riverdale and The Flash: “we expect it will take us until Fall 2022 to get back to a regular schedule” was the official quote. Re-organising the cw’s overall schedule didn’t happen overnight. Yes, more likely than not, the writers knew about the specifics of s6a before shooting 5x18-5x19 and had time to re-write them.

2. The couples spoilers for s6 do not make sense plot-wise.

If the end-goal for 5x19-6x1 had been b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie all along, these were pairs already happening (except from v*ggie) at the beginning of the time-jump. As for v*ggie, last time we saw them, Veronica pulled a face when she heard that he had had (still has?) an affair with Hermosa. And what about Nana Rose?! (ok, that was a joke! ... or was it? 👀)

The majority of both the fans and the general audience are bugvarchie shippers. Teasing b*rchie and j*bitha as a means of maintaining the viewers’ interest in a will they/won’t they way, only works if the audience finally gets what they want. In this season. Not the next one! There is so much trolling one can take after all. In the space of 1.5 year (4x17-5x19) b*rchie will have been teased ... THREE times (and still lacking build-up)!

I cannot myself see b*rchie, j*bitha and v*ggie as endgame couples. For the audience to invest in them after 4 years of bugvarchie, the writers have to a) give j*bitha an absolutely incredible development that will surpass bughead and the cinematography to go with it (good luck with that) and b) undo Archie’s character (highly unlikely) and/or give Betty a lobotomy (at which point a lot of people will quit en masse, because Archie as The One All The Girls Want just doesn't resonate with the majority).

I have no idea if s6a is an AU or not. But if it’s not, no one will be left to watch 6b.

Can I guarantee a bughead endgame? Of course not. I have no idea how the minds of the Riverdale writers work. But I do think that Jughead and Betty getting back together is more than wishful thinking.

Fervently shipping Jughead/Betty, Jughead/his book and Betty/therapy, sincerely yours, @raymondebidochonlifechoices

I hope you have fun with the Riverdale universe regardless, dear anon. Riverdale has given us one of the most beautiful getting-together stories in s1 and lots and lots of beautiful canon bughead afterwards. Here's to many more! Much love to you!

[milenadaniels]

Hi! I saw your tag on your informal buddie lap makeout poll (Which, exceptional scientific inquiry. Cannot wait to see the results. Especially if it leads you to write something...)

Anyway, what is your thinking on lonestar and a potential buck +e ddie sex scene? (FWIW, I don't watch LS. I tried, but just could not. Not yucking anyone's yum, just didn't work for me.)

Curious what you think?

Thank you! The study is going well, I look forward to analyzing the results in depth!

(Please note: after three hours of writing out this response, I realize I may have misunderstood your question 😂 If you meant "what do you think a buddie sex scene would look like given tarlos", please let me know and it would be my genuine pleasure to describe that in great detail. What follows is not that.....)

I have been thinking about the potential of a buddie sex scene more than I ought to, I'm sure. You could say I've been a smidge preoccupied since realizing all the legit sex scenes in the show happened in season 1/early season 2. In seasons 3/4, the closest I think we've gotten to textual sex is Madney having sex to induce labour and that consisted of Maddie throwing her shirt at Chimney from off-screen.

Someone on that post (can't find it now of course) said that 911 Lone Star took over the original 911 later time slot and thus took over the ability to have sexier content.

As someone who hasn't watched a television show live in like 5 years, your ask has prompted me to do actual research to confirm this 🤓 According to pogdesign, 911 currently plays Mondays at 8pm and 911LS plays at 9pm which supports the theory.

That said, it kind of strikes me as weird that 8pm is considered too early for sexy content? But maybe I'm just out of touch with cable television??

So I did more research! So much research omfg this took 3 hours of my life. 😅

First we define the issue at hand

I'm defining a "sex scene" as a scene that involves two or more people mackin' on each other with any of the following:

the beginning of clothing removal onscreen

the movement towards a bedroom or bed

getting into someone's lap as a sign of escalation

post-coital pillow talk or cuddling

actual shots of naked skin and writhing (softcore porn essentially)

So 911 got moved to 8pm. Do any other 8pm shows have sex scenes?

CW - The 100 🔥 (I know there was a minimum of 2 wlw sex scenes, though they may have been post-coital)

CW - Riverdale 🔥🔥 is another teen show that I don't watch so I youtubed "Riverdale sex scenes" and I'm led to believe at least one couple is banging semi-onscreen well into season 4 (it has 4 seasons???)

NBC - Chicago Med 🔥, a procedural show not about teenagers and seems to have a least 1 couple with sexy scenes (the other Chicagos air at 9pm and 10pm) and I saw lap sitting for a hardcore makeout for the other couple!!!!! TIM TAKE NOTES!

NBC - Superstore 🔥, a half-hour comedy that played at 8pm on NBC, did have at least this one cut-away sex scene

So 2 teen shows, 1 procedural and 1 comedy all had something in the way of "sex scenes" while airing at 8pm.

But what if Fox the network is the sex-scene-killers??

Apparently Fox literally has only 5 scripted dramas of which the 911 is one and the others are:

The Resident 🔥🔥, a medical drama that plays at 8pm as of season 2 (9pm for season 1) and the main couple seem to have several sex scenes, but interestingly from what I can glean from YT, they may have stopped after s2 (though the couple stays together until at least s4 from what I can tell)

LA's Finest 🚫, a rebroadcast through Fox, it airs at 9pm and YT didn't show me any sexy scenes

Fantasy Island 🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm and looks to have sexier content based on the trailer

911: Lone Star 🔥🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm. Tarlos have had like 2 heavy makeouts/implied sex scenes plus a pretty hardcore-for-tv sex scene in the s2 finale

So it seems like even for Fox, the 8pm timeslot isn't necessarily what's vetoing the sex scenes in 911. But just to hammer that home, I did even more researching into the watershed hours, which is apparently the designated time broadcasters can show sexiness, but in the US that's 10pm to 6am so if the restrictions were such that they couldn't show any sex scenes before 10pm, Tarlos wouldn't have gotten that finale action (thank you, IRL bff who watched 911LS so I didn't have to!)

TL;DR - a summation of our findings

The 8pm timeslot is not the sex-scene-killer I once thought it was (see: all them filthy shows)

911 being a cop show is not a sex-scene-killer (see: dramas, procedurals and comedies all had sex scenes)

Fox is not anti-sex in their 8pm scripted dramas in general (see: The Resident)

Fox is not anti-sex homophobically (see: Tarlos, Hen/Eva)

However!! There seems to be a somewhat weird, somewhat isolated trend of Fox shows either cutting off or tapering off sex scenes (see: 911, The Resident) after 2 seasons or specifically after 2019.

So what are the theories (from least to most favourite)?

Theory #1 (Buddie loses 🚫): "Something" happened at Fox in 2019. The Resident is the only true analogue to 911 as it's also on Fox, also premiered in January 2018, also started at 9pm but was moved to 8pm (in season 2, not season 3 like 911). If my very brief googling can be trusted, The Resident saw a lot of sex scenes in season 2 (at 8pm) but after 2019 there isn't much to write home about. That lines up with what we've seen in 911. If something happened internally at Fox that changed broadcasting guidelines for 8pm, then canon Buddie will not get sex scenes unless the timeslot changes back.

Pros: It would be a hell of a coincidence wouldn't it?? Both shows airing around the same time, both stop showing sex scenes around the same time???

Cons: It's pretty weak, I can't find anything that supports "something" happening in 2019 that would affect an 8pm timeslot but not the 9pm one.

Theory #2 (Buddie loses 🚫): Sex as a short-term sales tactic. Fox uses sex in the first two seasons of shows to boost ratings and get people hooked because sex sells. But then, for whatever reason, they taper it off. If so, Buddie being canonized would not produce any sex scenes as we're far removed from season 2.

Pros: The Resident and 911 both stopped showing sex scenes after season 2 from what I can gather

Cons: If sex sells, why wouldn't it keep selling all the way to the bank?? There's no reason to stop something that's working.

Theory #3 (Buddie wins 🔥): Actors are the roadblock. Fox is fine with sex scenes at 8pm but the actors aren't comfortable! If so, Buddie sex scenes could be in the cards as both actors have had on-screen sex scenes previously.

Pros: Angela Bassett, Peter Krause and JLH are bigger names and they presumably get to not get naked on screen or simulate sex scenes if they don't want to. Aisha Hinds as a (criminally) smaller name wouldn't have had that kind of leverage in season 1, nor would Ryan Guzman in season 2? And Oliver Stark knew what he was signing up to to play a self-diagnosed "sex addict" so.

Cons: This is absolute, complete conjecture. I have zero idea what each of their comfort levels with sex scenes are or how that might relate to the writing/direction of their characters.

Theory #4 (Buddie wins 🔥): Stable canon relationships kill sex. Fox dramas use sex only pre-maritally to build relationships and the network or the showrunners/writers decide it's not as important once characters are in stable relationships/married. If so, we will get Buddie sex scenes as their canon relationship develops.

Pros: The Resident couple did get married post-season 2 I think? Athena stopped having onscreen sex after she married Bobby. Hen had sex but out of her marriage.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone. And we technically do have a Madney sex scene, tame as it was (but maybe they straddle of the line of stable but pre-marital???). Also if sex = building relationship, EddieAna have been excluded from that formula oops 😌

Theory #5 (Buddie wins 🔥): We're overthinking all of this. There hasn't been sex scenes past season 2 because the stories haven't called for it but when it does, such as the start of a new relationship, then we'll get some!

Pros: We haven't had any "new" relationships other than EddieAna since season 2 and their lack of intimacy is a glaring reminder they aren't well suited - they're not boning for plot reasons. While not strictly meeting the aforementioned definition of a "sex scene", we could use Albert coming out of Veronica's shower as a use of sex-as-relationship-building.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone, the sequel. Especially since HenRen is criminally neglected in terms of development and could use a fun playful sex scene.

So what have we learned?

Should Buddie go canon, 3 theories indicate we'd get some sex scenes for them, and only 2 say we wouldn't. The odds are in our favour. 🤡

I will do literally anything to procrastinate writing this damn fic that's been tormenting me for weeks. Please someone, anybody...send help...

[lavender-lotion]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had! 

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Teen And Up Audiences | Major Character Death | M/M | Teen Wolf (TV) | Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski | Chris Argent, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski | Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Peter Hale Dies, Unhappy Ending

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know??? 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more 

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation! 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) | John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake | Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, X-Men (Team) | Not Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Summer, Teasing, Fluff

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey​ & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

[multimetaverse]

Riverdale 5x04 Recap

Reggie getting lines is the first sign this must be a dream sequence

The Saving Private Archie sequence was well done. The twist where Hiram shoots Archie was a good one I’ll give RAS that

When discussing Archie in the army with some friends last week I said that they would only refer to Archie having been in a war and would only refer to the enemy as the enemy and lo and behold

Archie reading a book is already the most unrealistic thing abut this ep

Archie reading a Farewell to Arms is in keeping with the writer’s usual subtlety 

The Second World War style army uniforms work great with the show’s aesthetic 

Toni’s pregnant! And the White Wyrm is Pop’s basement!

RAS said we’d probably find out who Toni’s baby daddy is in 5x08. Presumably it’s someone we know which doesn’t leave a long list of potential father: Reggie or Sweetpea would be at the top of the list

Pop Tate better not be dead

Trash bag killer sounds nice!

A Fargo name drop

Is Betty sleeping with her instructor? That’s so unethical

Oh god they’re going full Silence of the Lambs with Betty having been kept in a pit by the trash bag killer

So the Trash bag killer captured an FBI agent and instead of killing her he held her captive for 2 weeks until she either escaped or was rescued or was let go? Unless there’s gonna be some big twist that really doesn’t sound likely to me

That serial killer brother (along with her serial killer dad) is exactly why Betty would never have been let into the real FBI

Chadwick is such a douchey name ( and he lowkey dresses like Hiram). He wants kids after just a year of marriage and wants Veronica to work less? Lotta red flags already

I’m going to quote an interview RAS did with E News regarding the timeline:

"Yeah, we're definitely in a time paradox," he says. "I think it would have been less jarring if we'd had the organic season break. But yes...the show's timeless so that's what we're hanging on to, to be honest. Like yes if you if you really, if you really analyze it it's like we're either in 2028, or we've been seven years in the past...there's a discrepancy there for sure." And yes, he also acknowledges that Veronica claimed post-jump that it is still 2021."Yes, she says it's 2021," he agrees. "But I think in the graduation episode it was also 2020...there's a discrepancy there for sure."

I have extremely low expectations for the Riverdale writers but fucking around with the timeline you’ve already established is just a slap in the face to the audience. Better shows than Riverdale have botched their timelines and it’s always a symptom of big problems in the writers room when they can’t even handle that basic task. Not to mention the contempt it shows to the audience 

Graduation was in 2020 so it should be 2027 now. Even if they didn’t graduate in 2020, Fred’s tombstone said he died in 2019 so how does that math add up? If  it’s now 2021 and the kids graduated back in 2014 then that would mean that Riverdale High’s first graduating class was in 1939 rather than 1945 which would mean that those classmates who inspired Archie to join the army were enlisting months before the Second World War broke out and two and a half years before the attack on Pearl Harbour caused the USA to enter to war

All strong marriages are built on deception (was that a reference to Katy Keene from the now cancelled Katy Keene show?). This accident better have really been serious if they keep bringing it up

Nice to see Hermione again

They look fine for surviving a helicopter crash

Chadwick collects faberge eggs just like Hiram... and Veronica decided to sell it... methinks Chadronica is not gonna last

Ah yes Fitzgerald and Hemmingway, two writers known for their happy lives and  peaceful deaths of old age, really good examples to live by Jughead

Lmao! Only Jughead would be seduced by a chick wanting him to read her book

Good on Kangs for staying together this whole time

Cheryl is straight up living in the 19th century and I’m here for it. Thank god Nana Rose is alive

Reggie working for Hiram is an interesting twist

Kinda weird that Toni is trying to get back together with Cheryl when she’s pregnant with some dude’s kid. Honestly it makes perfect sense that Cheryl would believe that she’s cursed

Omg is Cheryl gonna get into art forgery?? That would actually be so great

Of fucking course we’re circling back to Hiram’s real estate deals

Thank god Pop Tate is alive

Man how stupid do you have to be to hitch hike nowadays especially when the truck that pulls up has a fucking skeleton on the front!

Once more I’ll quote RAS on the serial killer plot:

"As that mystery unfolds, it starts enveloping all of our characters," Aguirre-Sacasa says. "And in some ways tragically, including a character we've known and loved since season one."

That’s a vague statement that something bad will happen but if he means that a character we’ve known and loved since S1 is dying then it won’t be any of the mains. Sheriff Keller would be a good tragic death, the last of the good dads left in Riverdale

In another interview focusing on the ships RAS mentioned that Bughead would still have a lot of trauma from the Barchie kiss to work through, that Barchie would have a deep connection, and that Varchie still have a spark but Archie wouldn’t make a move on Ronnie while she’s still married

I would be surprised if Chadwick doesn’t meet a violent death at some point so I don’t think he’s a long term obstacle. If Hiram is the big bad for the remainder of the series then there’s a path to get Varchie back together as they team up to take him down

RAS also mentioned how nice it was to not always have to write couple scenes, to be able to have Betty scenes without Jughead and Veronica scenes without Archie and vice versa. An odd statement to make as no one was forcing him to keep those couples together. The writers could easily have broken up Varchie after Hiram’s numerous attempts to kill Archie or used the fact that Bughead had a shared half brother and their parents were living together in a romantic relationship to sink them

Well until next Riverdalers

[zalrb]

tv rewatch: gg edition s2e1

LOL the recap of the last season is so DRAMATIC

i like how they start with nate making out in a car and all you see is blonde hair so you’re supposed to be like, is it serena??? no just an adult who should know better.

and now she’s betty’s mom on riverdale because ofc she is. 

i don’t know of any reading where the author isn’t immediately talking to the people who came to hear them read. the bookstore sets you up with a table at the back of the room with a pile of your books and a pen because authors need MONEY. 

“i told him it was good as your story in the new yorker” you mean his diary entry?

penn bulked up a bit in season 2 tho.

i get that they’re trying to show jenny is interning in a hostile work environment but if her superior is just talking about how everyone needs to do twice as much and jenny is already done, she wouldn’t deride her for already being done, she just would be dismissive and give her more work to do.

dan, you can start a story without a date being the title.

“blair will never forgive you for you did to her” it turns out that blair, in fact, forgives a lot of shit that chuck does to her. #truelove 

lmao like they really would take the jitney. blair waldorf would not do buses.

“the only thing lamer than dating dan humphrey, is mourning dan humphrey.” lol blair.

i didn’t realize that robots got jealous, did they update your software while i was away? now, that line would be some terrible dialogue about patriarchy with a wooden delivery.

“well, if you call a different girl every night dating.” yes, jenny, that is literally what dating is.

ok i’ve studied with some harsh writers in the past but if dan is genuinely having writer’s block then his mentor would do something to help, like if he isn’t the type to actually talk about what it is that’s blocking dan then a free writing exercise or a prompt, a book recommendation.

honestly, nate’s makeouts/sex scenes with mrs. robinson 2.0 do not look hot.

“how well do you know blair waldorf is kinda boring for those of us who actually know blair waldorf.” “not to mention, transparent.” drag him. 

chair angst! “see you at school” sounds better than nate’s “good catching up.” 

i remember when i watched in real time when blair took the pin back i was like YAAASSSSSSSSSSSS oh teenage zal, you didn’t know then that chair would become one of your notps. lol.

“i don’t even like james!” “thank you i was waiting for that.” lol serena is nicer than me, i remember when initiumseries didn’t like a dude and she finally said it and i was like so are you done now? like are you done?

“besides, it’s tourist season in the city, easy pickings.” wow chuck are you ever not predatory? 

you know, it’s interesting, rewatching gg and blair and chuck because in season 1, we see how chuck falls for blair, we see him view her in a way nate didn’t, we see him jealous, we see him enamored but really, post limo save for texting each other when she was at nate’s fitting and that one soft moment on her birthday, we don’t really see how blair views chuck because she’s so caught up with trying to work things out with nate. i mean, yeah, shippers are going to say she didn’t want to admit that chuck means anything to her, she felt guilty for sleeping with him so she threw herself into being with nate, but because chuck is blackmailing her and she’s stressed out the entire time by the time we get to the finale when they’re kissing on the dance floor and even now, it’s like hmm, i think i needed to see a bit more of what blair misses with chuck when she isn’t with chuck in season 1. we needed a little more of those texting moments where she’s happy and giddy while with chuck or a bit more of what happens in season 2 where she’s fantasizing about him and then stops herself. i just bring this up because when she’s talking about how she didn’t want chuck to know how badly he hurt her and stuff i’m like i get it, i’ll go with it but i think there needed to be more.

but dan’s writer block is stupid.  just ... write something ELSE. at least TRY.

“I know that face, that face is not your friend!” lol eric.

nate is just so ... basic. lmao. 

the hamptons is the richest they ever look actually.

“thanks for giving me another chance.” “thanks for being worthy of it.” what has jenny done to be worthy of it tho? 

“trying to ruin my marriage?” you’re a grown ass woman. 

cece just looks like she’s hitting on dan, it’s uncomfortable

i’m your biggest fan i’ll follow you until you looooooooooooooove me. 

that kiss also isn’t as hot as it’s supposed to be, i guess because it’s supposed to look hot since it’s performative. 

i actually liked serena’s dress. or well, i think it’s OK.

so finally rewatching the derena scene where dan sees the serenate kiss has me like, is dan an ass because he’d been two-timing girls throughout the summer? yes. is he wrong for being frustrated that serena is kissing nate to make someone jealous and she can’t tell him who or why? no, not when he says that it’s the same drama different city because this is exactly what broke them up in the first place, she can’t be honest with him about things that are happening even though those things find a way of getting involved in his life somehow. but this is the point of derena and the two people from different worlds context but instead of it being a class difference it’s mostly that serena always finds herself in some kind of drama involving the same people and dan will never understand why the drama has to exist at all but they love each other anyway, so it’s basically this 

which is also supposed to be chair in a different way.

what’s funny though is that those girls are mad that dan was making out with one of them when he was supposed to be meeting someone else but the girl he was making out with brought a date without telling dan so, i mean. all they had to do was change ‘date’ to ‘friend’ to make him appear more of a sleaze.

blair’s face when marcus speaks in his english accent is HILARIOUS.

lmao why would nate and betty’s mom leave TOGETHER? 

aww three words, eight letters... the way blair leans forward and holds her breath just trying to urge the words out, if there’s anything i can say about chair it’s their chemistry.

i feel like it’s unrealistic to think that dan knows how to build a fire.

also sex on the beach is like ... sand, man, sand EVERYWHERE.

xoxo zalrb

[prettywarriors]

Fate The Winx Commentary

Good morning internet! Today is the drop of Winx: Riverdale edition! I sure hope you're ready for my aggressive and unnecessary commentary, because it is coming for you either way!

The netflix landing page lets us know:

Fate The Winx Saga

6 episodes, 48-53 minutes each

"Genres: Fantasy TV Shows, Teen TV Shows, Italian TV Shows"

"This show is: Emotional"

As mentioned elsewhere, my Winx knowledge is limited, so I will be coming into this fairly fresh and will try to be unbiased. As I have seen trailers, the keyword here is Try.

Episode 1

'To the Waters and the Wild'

CW: Animal Death, Swears, Implied Child Death, Blood, Implied Teen Sex, Burns, Weed, Fatphobia, Whatever the term pussie falls under

Episode 1 TL;DR: We meet everyone, learn their dynamics, have the basics of the magic system beat into us, meet our monsters, and name drop Harry Potter. Standard first episode stuff.

I do want it on record before we start that I got about halfway into the first season of Riverdale, and the first season of Netflix Sabrina. They were, well, bland and boring imo? I did get through a few seasons of Teen Wolf, but that's because it was capable of Fun and Jokes. My current expectations are a few unintentionally funny lines, maybe some almost decent magic effects, and because it's 2021, one whole gay character (I did hear one of the boys (there are boys?) is bi, but also an asshole so I'm hoping for some wlw)

TV-MA LANGUAGE AND SMOKING OH FUCKING BOY Almost full moon (waxing) in opening shot- I Will be tracking moon inconsistencies if it keeps showing up that is a pet peeve but hey look a bunch of sheep That's a good start (it's ominous though. don't hurt the sheep) Swears count: Feckin' 2 Mystical portal barrier. Oh yeah s5 of the magicians is on netflix now WELP THOSE ARE SHEEP GUTS RIGHT OUT THE GATE HUH For CW it's up a tree, and the dripping blood is a good warning of what's about to be seen :( oh and then the man who was looking for the sheep dies offscreen save for a spray of blood. THIS ISN'T YOUR CHILD'S WINX CLUB it seems to say. I assume. How much blood was in the original winx because this is already at least a full cup. (Also the monster noises for whatever was chasing the man (werewolf it was a werewolf trailers are bad guys) were not very good)

Opening credit scene is 5-6 different blooming elemental wings. They're pretty, but it's unclear if the last one is secret 6th member wings (because the second to last ones are fire which is the main character's element right?) so maybe we'll get a late 6th addition? (I am in I.T. please give me the most relatable character you cowards)

KIDS IN THE CORNER BY AMBER VAN DAY PLAYING I like where they shot this but that might just be european woods pretty. The opening location was nice and mossy save for the sheep blood Fancy big stone school establishing shots (it's nice, and huge) and we land on a red head who seems less than pleased to be here Courtyard shot of... whatever the name of the replacment plant girl is, holding a tray of various potted plants for an older man (father? first day of school send off maybe?) Aisha(?) walks by, not talking to anyone, Stella(?) is taking Magical!Selfies with at least 3 other girls, Musa(?) has a suitcase and headphones and smiles at a passing girl Oh boy a boy with a pocketknife doing little tricks with it! Nothing says edgy like an actual knife edge. Gonna take this moment to point out I have some level of face blindness and while the girls all look fairly different from one another, if there is more than one tall blonde white boy as I fear there may be, I WILL NOT be able to tell them apart. Not through maliciousness, just general incompetence, so anything I say about the boy characters (I want to say they're the knights to the girl's faeries? is that right? this whole thing smacks of gender) should be taken with a heap of salt I've come to accept tv just. displaying text messages on screen as a storytelling method. It's never my favorite but it just Is a modern story element. Also Bloom needs to meet stella at the alfea gates Alfea I presume is the school- does the name mean something? It sure feels like the word elf and therefore fae but I don't feel like googling anything this early in Oh look two more blondish tall white boys. Pocketknife was wearing something else i think, one guy has a brown jacket and pink shirt (bad combo), the other looks old even by tv highschool/college standards and his jacket has a jock vibe. Jock jacket also has an earring? Is this the bi character who is an asshole? From this one second of him, only in profile, I will assume yes, he is an asshole I like Bloom's backpack Pink shirt looks at Bloom from across the quad. I am already tired of this romance Cool he walks up to someone he has identified as lost, and is 'impressed with [her] confidence in the face of complete ignorance' COMING OUT OF THE GATE WITH A NEGG HUH PINKY He even states he wasn't offering help Then Why Are You Talking To Her Jackass Subs are going with the fairy spelling, and Bloom confirms she is a fairy and we confirm this is College. Unless this is a european thing where they call schools different things. I think that's just for public and private? And maybe just england? I'm American all they teach us is 1492-ww1 over and over for like. 10 years sorry Rest of the World 'What Realm are you from?' 'California' Speaking of ameri-centric, I'm gonna Guess that original Winx, the italian cartoon, didn't have their main character be from cali usa? I am presuming this is a side effect of making this property for a more global distribution than I'm guessing winx was originally conceived as back in the early 00s The Otherworld. I assume this is the fairy realm and whatnot? And the magic school. Seems to be located behind a magical barrier in the earth realm?? If that's right it seems weird if basically everyone who goes to the school is from the otherworld Pinky doubles down on his rudeness but in a Fun and Cute way because :/ and the Specialist hall is Very Pretty, oh and there's a fairy hall. Are specialists the boy...things? magi knights? bros of the blade? guys who wear those 'here come a special boy' sneakers from that one comic? Stella sees this conversation which is great because they drop the term mansplain. why would otherworlders know that term even??? Edgey(?) sees Pinky and they hug it out Stella knows Americans are the type to wander off so I guess there's a lot of inter-world connections?

Miss Dowling- is this teacher going to be like the pedo in riverdale who got *checks notes* killed off by one of multiple serial killers later on? Dowling is the headmistress, gotta keep the otherworld a secret from earthers, time and place for portal making. all standard fantasy stuff so far, nothing to make this stand out Stella has a gateway ring, and frankly isn't too nice? all the backgrounders clothing is Bland and very normal 7 realms of the otherworld, Solaria is where Alfea is, i like magic globe Incase you forgot this was a modern tale, people update their insta stories here. 'I was kindof bummed I didn't see a single pair of wings' YOU AND ME BOTH BLOOM 'We had wings in the past, transformation was lost, tinkerbell was an air fairy' This is either a cop out for your glittery cowardice, or a set up for the main girls re-finding transformation magic later. I did like the Tink bit Bloom is a fire fairy and the subtext of this conversation is that bloom's magic did Something bad. I hope it was burn down her old school's gym a la buffy movie I like miss Dowling but in the I wouldn't Be Surprised if you turned out to be Evil way, and I guess Alfea is a very privileged upper crust school. What types of college do normal fairies go to then huh? damn privileged fairies 'our students have gone on to do amazing things like re-discover long lost magics' We Get It. You will give me Wings, but Only If I'm Patient Dowling throws a jab at Bloom about power control, but I like her necklace so It's Fine

Bloom video calls her parents while unpacking in the dorm, which may have come pre-fit with a heck ton of board games? Love it. Or new plant girl brought them along with her many plants Stella has a fancy mirror and lots of jewelry and fashion photos and makeup, Musa has a laptop and apparently not much else, gotta get those establishing personalities down I guess 'Ladies of the Flies honey don't be sexist' Bloom's dad for feminist of the year (these jokes are bad but i guess we can call it a dad joke as justification) Asiha gives Bloom a look and saves her from the call with her parents- yay friendship step one achieved Blooms parents think she's in the alps because magic secrets and what not Aisha asks bloom if she's never read harry potter and I guess Bloom is a potterhead (that's the term right?). Is this self awareness that all magical school fantasy series have the same basic bricks?  Bloom is a ravenclaw sometimes slytherin, Aisha is a Gryffindor Stella is changing because she's the fashion one and has a fun pastel rainbow skirt, and uses magic to make a real aggressive lamp. She's also a mentor (maybe older than the others by a bit?) I am assuming Stella here is something along the lines of a diplomats daughter the way she talks about appearances. She better get down and dirty later on to show her growth about how some things are more important than looks yada yada Fairy magic powered by strong emotions, i am waiting for bloom's backstory to be movie x-men rogue style tragedy Terra! Which. Of course is the Plant Fairy's name. Stella is a little mean to her about the plants and she takes it with a smile and some subtle snark back using classic literature Oh that's fun Terra points out the name-plant thing, and name drops her cousin Flora. That's. The one they replaced with Terra right? Terra's dad works in the greenhouse at the school which explains earlier (and her mum is named rose) Stella is indeed a second year and Musa's eyes change for. Lie detecting magic? and loves her headphones (Overstimulation?) Aisha wants somewhere to swim and we cut to a 'pond' by specialist training. Assuming she wants to sim because she's a water fairy, why Don't they have a pool? also this pond looks. Unpleasant for swimming

Girl specialist! Does that mean we have boy fairies? Boys. Fighting. Talking about girls. All gingers are nuts. Thanks edgelord AMAZING SHAGS THOUGH 'I didn't realize your hand was a red-head' it's not truly edge if we don't talk about sex every 10 minutes Subtitles earlier only said boy 1 boy 2 but now pinky or edgy is Riv Edgy smokes weed, and pinky is a big brother figure to him, and the head? of the special boys doesn't like edgy. Me neither older guy Bit of swordplay, more girls, every specialist has black training outfits, very military Pinky is Sky who is son of Guy of Place. an important lad. without context this is meaningless to me There's a giggly boy who laughs at the idea of a war in the future and gets a talking to. I suspect this boy will be re-occurring enough to die- he has those tertiary character elements with his intro and such (and he's black so I am prepared for your standard racist murder choices) Burned Ones exist outside the barrier, which makes me wonder if dead shepard was in the otherworld? There was nothing establishing that he was in any type of Other place but :/ Oh look edgey is having a smoke cross the barrier while we learn about the creatures that live beyond it. Time to find out these creatures no one young has ever seen are still kicking Specialist leader had to kill his own pa after a burned one got him. They also. Used a shotgun when trying to fight it. Do specialists even have powers or are they just good with weapons? Edgey finds the shepards corpse. Mostly blood 'it's been 16 years since the last sighting' 'Rosalind killed all the burned ones' ahh magical creature genocide hey when is abarat 4 coming out. and is rosalind hot?

School, gossip, Aisha and Musa are snarking at Tera for thinking the guy died of natural causes because we need to have these characters not actually like each other to make it stand out when they do Aisha talks about how she eats a lot and if she didn't swim she'd be massive and we cut to the plus sized tera looking uncomfortable are we really doing this? Tera points out that Musa was ignoring her earlier and it's all just uncomfortable and not great character conflict (but I thought I saw Musa holding an honest to god ipod? it's blue but it could be a phone case. Her hand is in the way) tera and dad interaction is nice, i'm also convinced they couldn't afford more than 3 magic adults

Girl with braids and metal in her hair! There were witches in winx right? Like 3 minor antagonist girls? I assume this is one of them. Because she has alternative fashion and is therefore evil /s Beatrix. Names in this series leave something to be desired (that something is subtly. I get it, they're carry overs from a series for a younger audience, she-ra had the same issue, but i can still poke fun) Swear count: Arsehole 2 Bollocks 1 Shit 1 She's a weird ass kissing with clearly ulterior motives

Bloom is Studying and her notebook is just FAIRY MAGIC POWER = EMOTIONS LOVE FEAR? HARTED? FIRE FAIRY CONTROL? in case you weren't paying attention Oh a flashback already to the magic triggering event? Her mother had pointed out she's an introvert, and past!Bloom doesn't Party. She goes Antiquing and is a Weird Loner (her 'basic bitch' of a mom's words) Swear count: Bitch 1 Bad daughter count: 1 Bad mother count: 1 Magic glowy eyes for Bloom: 1

Bloom Hates Parties and asks Pinky I mean Sky where she can be Away from People and he fears he'll be Mansplaing to her to. vague that it's dangerous outside instead of saying 'hey there's monsters and someone was just killed by possible one of them stay in the barrier' Stella wants to talk to Sky because they have History. I did hear there was a love triangle between these three. I am bored and everyone at this party is a nosey bitch who is watching their tense conversation. Also Something? Happens when Stella gets upset [mystical warbling] Random magic effects in the (very pretty) forest Bloom is trying to practice her magic on her own, and to do that she's gotta look at sad teen pics. And look, her burnt bedroom from her first power usage The fire magic is pretty good. I think fire is like. the opposite of water when it comes to cg where it almost always looks pretty good, while I swear i've seen the actual ocean look like a shitty render Magic out of control, bloom can't control her emotions, Aisha can stop her with water magic which makes some nice steam Bloom is angry at aisha for saving her. So far 3 of the 5 girls are abrasive at best remember when people made characters likeable? Swear count: Shit 1 (but it doubles as the literal meaning because of flooded toilets) Swear count: Bitch 1 Ass 1 Taking away your teen's door is. Really shitty. Not almost burn down your house worthy but damn cheerleader mom I do not understand sleep shirts with buttons. That seems painful if you lie the wrong way? Her mom was seriously burnt by first magic usage that's a backstory Shit count +1 Main character aspect time: dormant fairy blood line? awfully strong magic for that. baby who died day after it was born and now she's here? ...I was going to say changeling thanks aisha A Barbaric practice loving hints at long term world lore Hell is a bad word for kids!! Cutting to headmistress and her secret passage after finding out bloom is secret pureblood? this really is a harry potter thing

edgelord offers giggly some booze, and says pussies twice because he's Edgey and does peer pressure Tera calls him out and knows he's a sad nerd in disguise not a 'badass' and he says she's 'three people in disguise' because fatphobia shit +1 arehole +1 tera. chokes out edgelord with a vine because she's had enough of this shit. good for her edgelord is Riv, and he lived

OBLIGATORY GOOGLE SEARCH FOR THE TERM CHANGELING REMEMBER BELLA'S VAMPIRE GOOGLE GOD I LOVE TEEN FANTASY AND THEIR INSTANCE ON GOOGLING COMMON FANTASY TERMS OH hey the lamp bloom brought with her is the one she was fixing at home that's a nice touch Stella bonds with Bloom about homesickness, and the takes a selfie Musa is a mind fairy. So she. Is a telepath with purple eye magic? Oh there's types of 'connections' Memory, thought (others but i am cut off from the lore) Stella did Something to someone who Talked To Her Man last year and now lent Bloom her teleportation ring to send her some because miss mentor really cares more about her shitty man then helping the girls she's in charge of First World- earth Old Cemetery? Very Sexy. and bloom sweetie don't leave a mystical gateway open, and how will you explain to your parents how you're back so fast Wait she's only 16? SO this really is some european college where that's a funny way of saying High School Fire guilt, bad feelings about life shattering revelations, better connection with mother. I gotta say I have low expectations of this show carrying the family connection through the rest of this. That conversation felt more like a Hey We Made These Movements Onto Other Stuff Now

Lighting choices are interesting, with green, orange and purple for creepy warehouse. THE Creepy Warehouse where she would sleep without her parent's knowledge wow right that GIRL DROPS THE DAMN RING AT THE FIRST SIGN OF burned one looked more alien than werewolf-y here Decent Horror movie looks, and dude stole her ring. Rude. Saved by the headmistress, and tera/aisha/musa are here to great her Stella can't be here though because she has to greet a half naked freshly showered sky because life is suffering and producers insist people like to see teens half naked (who. Who?) shit +1 and she dumped him. pity part of one and using it to try to get your bone on. HEY A SONG I KNOW. IT'S WHATSITCALLED FROM THE BAYONETTA COMMERCIALS WAY BACK WHEN. in for the kill la roux. I do wish netflix would either commit to telling you what song was playing or didn't tell you at all

Riv offers Beatrix a hit from his joint because what Is a Bad Kid hasn't changed in like 70 years Blowing pot smoke into someone's mouth isn't as sexy as ya'll seem to think it is Musa has cute sleep socks with little pom poms, and I love Tera's floral jammies Tera offers a bluetooth speaker so they can listen to music together Musa also calls out Tera's fake happiness this is the good shit character interaction i live for Musa Empath Mind Fairy 'somber indie music'

If you kill a burned one in the human world Something? Extra bad happens? So the headmistress knows Bloom's a changeling, and ohhh that's the last time a burned one was spotted. Is Rosalind the famed Monster Slayer the birth mother of Bloom? Tera text flirts with Giggly who IS NAMED DANE and has a thing for. Sky? Riv? I told you these boys all look the same to me so if it's a half naked pic on fairy insta i'm out of context clues. Crymeariv is the insta name that answers that. Is this the slow burn enemies to lover mlm i can't finish this sentence i don't care riv is a dick Stella and Sky are in a bed and she doesn't seem to have a top on so Implied sexy times? MYSTERIOUS HOODED AND ROBED FIGURE CROSSES THROUGH THE BARRIAR AND SHOOTS THE BURNED ONE WITH LIGHTNING MAGIC OH IT'S beatrix

alt-J – Adeline as an ending song

[miraculoustails]

So, as a fan of Winx Club, I was super excited when the trailer for Fate came out. Soon after, someone pointed out Techna was missing and Flora was replaced with her white cousin (coughwhitewashingcough). I quickly realized this would be another Voltron or Riverdale. I watched the series so I could know everywhere it got wrong, and hopefully enjoy it some. So here’s my review of Fate (may contain some spoilers of Fate, but definitely of WC)

Bloom. Let’s start with all that’s wrong with her. Bloom is supposed to be confident, but slightly unsure. Fate!Bloom is extremely insecure and miserable. She’s always doing something super “edgy” and “breaking the rules”. From the way the first season has gone, it doesn’t even look like she’ll be a princess. She’s just labeled as “super powerful changeling”. Which is another thing. Her parents. They’re supposed to be her super supportive adoptive family who ADOPTED HER. Instead, her parent’s REAL child died of a heart condition, and they unknowingly raised Bloom all these years. They didn’t even raise her well, as they were super super abusive. Yet she still loves them and it’s never adressed how abusive and disgusting their actions were. Instead it’s just “complicated”.

Aisha’s just. Yikes. They made her into a goody two shoes bookworm. While i’m not sure how exactly, something just feels wrong and racist about it. I could just be leaping because of the previous whitewashing racism. She’s also super jealous of Bloom for her progress in magic, and it’s just. Never adressed. She’s super helpful and will break any rules in the first like two episodes then she suddenly becomes rigid rule addict out of nowhere.

Tella, aka “Flora’s cousin” is SO annoying. They made her into this awkward fat girl and constantly make fat-phobic jokes. It’s shown as bad, but also in a way, it’s not. There’s another character that’s queer and the only way his queerness is talked about is homophobic jokes by Riven. Side note, Riven is an asshole but jfc they went WAY too far with his dick-ness. He’s practically a bad guy. But anyways, Tella. The fact she’s a whitewashed Flora already makes me hate the character, but she’s always whining. She’s constantly bullied, and she stands up for herself but she also likes it??? Which is wrong in so many ways.

Musa. She’s supposed to be a sound fairy, but they made her into a “useless mind fairy” called an empath. She can feel everyone’s feelings and cant turn off the power. Which makes no sense because every other fairy can turn it on/off. They just couldnt think of something to make her power difficult to use (they wanna be edgy). She’s also a huge jerk to Tella the first episode, which is understandable, but still. Winx Musa is supposed to be a lot more tolerant.

And last, but certainly very far from least. Stella. Stella is absolutely ruined. The show is supposed to start off with her saving Bloom, in the human world, from a witch-made monster. But it starts with Bloom going to school after she was just. Found. By the headmistress. And Stella’s a complete bitch, trying to get her killed. Stella’s abusive and toxic, and suddenly gets a “redemption arc” where she goes “sorry for being absolutely horrible. It’s mommy issues. Not my fault :((( im so broken” and everyone just pretends nothing happened. Not to mention she’s fucking Sky, and don’t get me started. Sky’s not even supposed to know her.

Which leads me to Sky and the specialists. Sky’s all like “oh i shouldnt keep fucking Stella but she needs me. But also, hot new freshman looking fine （´≝◞⊖◟≝｀)”. And he’s repeatedly talking about how “broken he is” and how he wants to “fix everything so he doesnt have to think about his brokenness” and he’s just “a fixer” (aka weirdo speech by jughead). As for the specialists, they’re supposed to be at a whole seperate school. But for the sake of throwing in early romance and sex plots, they made it different sections of alfea, yet having a “headmaster” for the specialists that’s still not The Headmaster??? Not to mention, as far as i remember, fairies were all female and specialists all male, which does have some sexist connotations, but now they’re both co-ed and im not sure how i feel about that.

Now, as for the show as a whole. The plot is try-hard. It has it’s enjoyable moments but bloom isn’t supposed to care so much on her past. She does care, but that’s supposed to be so it leads her to clash with the witches. At first, it seemed like there was a witch school like there should be, but now it’s a village that was destroyed years ago?? So it’s quite confusing what’s going on with the witches. There’s a completely seperate enemy, possibly made by the witches though. In Fate, everyone knows truths about Bloom’s past, but it’s hidden. Meanwhile in WC, no one knows she’s a princess or how she ended up in the human world. Im pretty sure fairies in the human world are supposed to be semi-normal, (harry potter wizards/witches kinda thing). However, in Fate, there hasnt been a fairy in the human world in ages. In an effort to avoid major spoilers, i’ll just say. The drama with Rosalind is so stupid and cringy. Also the shock factor in the last episode, which is supposed to show you how she really is evil, it was unnecessary. It made me feel nauseous and shocked in a very bad way. Shows are growing this habit of having dramatic twists where something graphic suddenly happens with no warning, but the problem is that there’s no warning. It’s bad enough even when there is awarning, but it’s still intense for even mentally healthy people. Very damaging to those of us who have mental disorders.

I could have so much more to say on how disappointed I am, as an adult who grew up watching winx club, but im very tired and honestly, i could go on forever. All in all, as it’s own show, Fate is not bad, even enjoyable once you get into it. But as a Winx Club remake, it crushes my dreams and breaks my heart. It stomps all over my childhood and what was dear to me. I think i will continue watching it if more seasons come out, but there’s very little i enjoy about the show. It’s nearly impossible to enjoy if im comparing it to Winx Club, but a decent amount easier if i watch it with comparisons. If were to rate it, i’d probably say it’s 2/5. 2.5 if im being generous. I’m just very disappointed in this reboot, and wish they had made it more accurately, rather than trying so hard to appeal to young adults.

[snarkwrites]

01 | gangsta | sweetpea

Notes:

I’d say I’m sorry for starting a 3rd multi chapter series but I’m honestly not. I haven’t written a whole lot for Riverdale, but this idea just kinda came to me and I rolled with it? Anyway, yeah.. If people really like this, I might be tempted to keep this going beyond just the few parts I already kind of have halfway planned.

Huge hug to @twistnet​ because their writing about Sweetpea kind of awakened and fuelled this and if you’re not reading their fics, you really should tbh. 

Summary:

They clearly don’t mix. But sometimes, opposites attract. The only question is will these two’s sparks cause an inferno or go down in flames?

Ugh.. I hate my summaries, thanks.

Pairing:

Andrews!OFC, Alyssa x Sweetpea. Yep. She’s Archie’s sister. I couldn’t resist.

Warnings:

Uhh... teen angst, relationship drama, sexual tension, possible fights / violence here and there and.. That’s pretty much it. Oh yeah and eventually, filth.

Also, this is probably not going to follow seasons 2 through present to the letter. Actually, I’ll venture to warn now, it definitely will not. Because there’s some things in it that I’ve seen so far that make zero actual sense. And there’s probably not going to be a whole lot of Archie,Betty,Jugs and Veronica in here too, because this is me, kind of writing all the side characters into things a little more?

Tagging:

@brithedemonspawn​ 

Other Stuff:

[ faq - tag list doc - soundtrack ] 

                                                  ONE.

“Sweet Pea, you’ll be working with Alyssa Andrews.”

I didn’t dare turn to look back at the guy. He was probably one of the most intimidating guys in Riverdale High. He hardly spoke to anyone unless it was one of the two friends he happened to have. Neither of them were in this class period.

The teacher, seeming impressed with himself, gave a nod to Sweet Pea and Sweet Pea grumbled, stalking up the aisle and flopping lazily into the empty seat next to mine. Our sides brushed a little when he moved his desk closer after getting a look from our teacher. I tried not to tense up.

Sweet Pea seemed to notice. He smirked at me.

Leaned in a little.

“Relax, cherry. I don’t bite unless I’m asked.” he muttered against my ear. My breath caught in my throat and I was promptly thrown into the mother of all internal uproars. I shoved the book between us wordlessly, not even daring to glance over at him.

I was not about to let him take pride in the fact that he made me blush or rattled me, not even a little.

Our sides brushed again and I pursed my lips, taking a deep breath. Across the classroom, Reggie was already working with one of the other girls on my squad. I watched them laughing and flirting back and forth and I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

“I’m supposed to be his girl and  yet.. It’s as if I don’t even exist.” I muttered, mostly to myself. Annoyed at myself for being hurt over it because it shouldn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Reggie was a flirt. I’d known that going into things. I’d tried not to let it get to me. Tried to remind myself that nine times out of ten, he wasn’t doing it intentionally.

But tell that to Mandy. Mandy automatically thinks that any guy who flirts with her is in love with her, my brain weighed in on the matter and I sighed, drumming my nails against the desktop, glancing over my shoulder at the two and rolling my eyes all over again. I just knew I was going to have to hear about this all afternoon at practice.

“So you’re a River Vixen, huh, cherry?” he muttered after a few seconds, nodding to the cheerleading uniform I was wearing. I could feel him staring at me and sure enough, when I bothered to tear my eyes off of Reggie across the room and in full flirt mode with Mandy, he was looking me up and down. He repeated his question.

Just something about the tone he took when asking it both times that he’d done so had me jumpy. Defensive. He said it with this air of disdain. Making it obvious for the thousandth time since our school merged that he hated Riverdale High.

“Mhm.” I kept my best calm and neutral tone, despite the fact that I knew he was probably being judgemental. Or that he was being a tease. Maybe even both. “I have a name, by the way.”

“I know. But you also have bright red hair.” Sweet Pea shrugged, barely containing the smirk the second he realized that maybe he was getting to me.

“Yes. I realize this. But my name is Alyssa.” I muttered, my voice dropping lower. Trying my best not to let the giant of a Serpent intimidate me because that wasn’t who I was. He chuckled, shaking his head.

“Relax… Cherry.” Sweet Pea smirked at me.

“You just had to do that.” I grumbled quietly, shaking my head. I tried to focus more on the reading part of our assignment for today, but I couldn’t. Between Sweet Pea and the fact that I couldn’t tell whether he was teasing me, being an ass overall or a little of both and knowing that my own boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to butt in on my behalf and offer to switch with the guy because ‘his stupid pride’ and his thing against any and all Southsiders, my mind was already too full.

I finished my worksheet and glanced over at Sweet Pea, watching his eyes move over the page. Watching the way his tongue rolled over his lips as he wrote out his answers on the worksheet in front of him.

I jumped when without even looking at me, he muttered calmly, “See somethin you want, cherry?”

“No, I was actually just making sure you were actually doing the work.” I retorted, biting my lip when the words came a little harsher than I meant. He stopped writing and laid down his pencil, glancing up at me.

“Aw. Is somebody mad because her so-called boyfriend ditched her with a Serpent to go work with one of her little Valley girl clone besties?”

“Eat shit.” I snapped, tensing. Holding his gaze defiantly.

“You kiss your boyfriend with that mouth, cherry?”

My cheeks burned hot. Kissing was about all I did to Reggie Mantle with my mouth. And I never seemed to hear the end of it with most of the other girls on my squad, either. It was as if my sex life, or lack thereof, was the main topic of discussion pretty much any given moment.

,, And probably why he’s working with Mandy instead of you right now. You know he’s getting tired of getting stopped at second base.” my mind taunted me. I took a few deep breaths to really keep from losing my temper and I shrugged, not bothering to answer Sweet Pea. 

I don’t think I’ve ever made a faster retreat than the one I made the second the bell to end class rang. I grabbed my stuff up in a hurry, flustered and a little annoyed. Definitely angry.

Reggie caught up to me in the hallway, holding out his letterman’s jacket.

The one I’d been in such a rush to leave class that I’d left behind. I was beyond tempted to shove the jacket back at him and tell him maybe he needed to give it to Mandy. Or Veronica. Or any of the other girls he’s constantly talking to. But I bit my tongue and took it.

I didn’t feel like speaking up, telling him it bothered me when he went into charmer mode only to have him promise not to anymore and then turn to do it all over again not even an hour later. The whole thing was infuriating, more than a little redundant by now.

“You okay, princess?”

Reggie eyed me as he asked the question and again, I heavily debated telling him exactly what was wrong with me, but again I chose not to.

It wasn’t worth the argument.

It hurt, but it wasn’t worth the hassle.

I plastered on what I hoped was my best convincing smile and leaned against his side, letting his arm wrap around my waist. “Yeah. It’s fine.”

I tensed when Reggie spoke up, mentioning the fact that I’d gotten paired to work with Sweet Pea for the semester. “Ya know, you could’ve said somethin, princess.”

“You know how Mr. Keaton is, Reg. It wouldn’t have mattered.” I muttered, my jaw clenching just a little because it irritated me. Did he not see that it went both ways and stop to think that maybe, just maybe… If he didn’t feel like it was important to do on my behalf, maybe I didn’t see the sense in making waves for him?

He chuckled, rubbing his chin as he leaned against the locker next to mine when we stopped at mine so I could switch out my books. I stopped digging through my books and notebooks to gaze up at him. “It’s not a big deal.” I shrugged it off.

Honestly? It wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t see any difference between the jerk of a Serpent I’d been paired to work with and Reggie at this particular point in time. ,,I just had an easier time telling one of the two where they could shove it.” my brain saw fit to point this out and I quickly shoved out the intrusive thought.

Reggie wasn’t a bad guy. He just had a few glaring flaws.

At least he wasn’t out late at bars or getting arrested. Or whatever it was that Sweetpea called himself doing as a member of an actual gang.

All I had to go on, of course, were my brother Archie’s interactions with the gang thus far. Outside of Jughead Jones, of course. But to put it technically, Jughead couldn’t really be considered an actual Serpent. Merely one by association.

Reggie seemed content with my answer, pulling me closer as we walked past the section of the hallway where Sweetpea and his friends' lockers were. Glaring at Sweetpea as if he had some kind of point to prove. 

What Sweetpea did was petty. And if I were in a better mood and the guy hadn’t spent all morning making his mission to drive me up the wall, I’d have laughed. 

“Hey Cherry?”

I stopped and turned back, my hand on my hip. “Again. My name is Alyssa.” I reminded him firmly. We locked eyes and I bit my lip, squirming a little under the intense once over he gave me before meeting my gaze again a few seconds later. I dropped my gaze quickly.

Wait, was I blushing right now?

Why was I blushing right now?

“Leather would look better on you.” Sweetpea rubbed his chin thoughtfully, locking eyes with me again for a few seconds when I dared to look up, thinking the whole staredown was over. What surprised me was that as he was letting his eyes roam over me, sizing me up, I actually felt my stomach flipping and flopping lazily. My breath even caught in my throat a little and despite everything, I felt my cheeks burning just slightly at his words and that look in his eyes when they met mine all over again.

I eyed him with a raised brow. When Reggie practically growled from beside me and I had to throw my arm out to stop him from storming over and Sweetpea smirked, I gave him a dirty look.

“ You think you’re slick, Serpent? Talkin to my girl like that?” Reggie was seconds away from storming over. Starting a fight. A fight that I knew would get him benched during the game tonight. I cleared my throat, tensing in front of him. “Reggie, don’t.”

“Why the hell not, huh? Did you hear what he said to you?” Reggie looked down at me. It was clear he was wound up, the fuse was lit. All I could do was roll my eyes. Keep quiet. Because if I opened my mouth right now, I was going to wind up arguing with Reggie. And it was over something stupid. Pointless. I knew what Sweetpea was up to right now. If Reggie didn’t, that wasn’t exactly my problem.

Yes, I was still very bitter about his lack of a solution in class earlier. That was it. That was the entire reason I wasn’t about to step up and defend my relationship with Reggie after Sweetpea’s remark called it to question.

,, now he says something. It only took Sweetpea being an ass. Questioning Reggie’s role as my boyfriend. Oh no, he couldn’t stop me from being paired with Sweetpea earlier, when he knew it made me uncomfortable. He wanted to make it into my fault that I said nothing, too.”  the thought came, making me even more irritable, especially when I couldn’t shove it out.

Sweetpea smirked when our eyes met again and I bit my lip, quickly dropping my gaze. God forbid I stir things up even further…

,, why does it feel like I’m gonna come undone when he looks at me like that? He’s clearly doing it just to get under Reggie’s skin, there’s no way in hell he actually wants me.” I found myself thinking, only to get annoyed by the fact that yes, it did bother me to know that.

XXX

“The guy spent the whole period hitting on another girl. Right in front of her. I mean, it’s her fault if she’s too stupid to take that as a huge hint.” Sweetpea finished his tangent and promptly raised his brows, swallowing the food he’d shoveled in as he’d been ranting to Toni and Fangs.

Toni and Fangs shared a look.

“I knew he liked her. I called it.” Toni teased triumphantly, high fiving Fangs.

“What the fuck? No!” Sweetpea practically growled the words. Glaring at both Toni and Fangs when they gave him a look as if to say ‘Riiiight. Sure ya don’t.’ but said nothing. “I’m just pointing out she’s obviously too stupid to see what’s obvious.”

“And that little dig in the hallway was what?” Toni questioned, laughing when all Pea could do was open and close his mouth and then finally take a very aggressive bite of his burger. “It was me, stirring her up. Look, she’s hot. That’s it.” Sweetpea insisted firmly.

“If that were it, you wouldn’t always be glancing over at her. Getting that angry look whenever you see her around with that prick Mantle.” Fangs pointed out, earning him a glare from Sweetpea. Fangs continued, despite it. “And the whole reason you moved the fight from Andrews house to that vacant lot after you saw her in the upstairs window.. Why did you do that, again?” smirking when Sweetpea clenched his fists and grumbled at him, answering quietly, “I didn’t think it’d be right for her to have to watch her brother getting his ass handed to him. That’s it.”

A throat clearing had the three looking up.

Alyssa stood there, a hand on her hip. Glaring down at Sweetpea who flashed her a smirk.

“See something you want, cherry?” Sweetpea teased, taking a handful of fries from his plate, biting into them. Holding her gaze steady. A little annoyed with himself at the way his heart fluttered and sped up just the slightest as he did this.

“It’s.. You know what? Nevermind. Call me whatever, I don’t care. But no. I don’t. I did come over here to tell you whatever it is you're up to, I don’t appreciate being dragged into the middle of it. I know you’re only doing this in the first place to wind Reggie up. I’m not stupid.” Alyssa said the words with a jaw clenched tight. Glaring at Sweetpea.

Until he licked his lips and Toni happened to see the way her eyes followed the movement helplessly and began to really sit there and quietly assess the situation. Smiling to herself as her own suspicions formed exactly as to why Sweetpea’s actions as of late bothered Alyssa Andrews so much.

She kept it to herself.

Sweetpea chuckled and shrugged. “Don’t know why it bothers you. The guy’s an asshole. Do better, Cherry.” he waved his hand dismissively at her as if he were shooing her from the spot she stood in at the end of the table. Alyssa glared and folded her arms, tapping her foot as her mouth opened and closed for a minute or two.

Then she turned sharp and stormed off. Finding her own table with Reggie and the rest of the football players and cheerleaders.

Sweetpea found himself staring at her, shaking his head. Clenching his fists. “I don’t get it. How does she not see her whole thing with that asshole is one sided, huh?”

“The more important question to ask, Pea, is why in the hell it bothers you so much? They’re Northsiders man, leave ‘em to whatever it is.” Fangs shrugged everything off, taking a sip of the soda in front of him as he leaned back in the chair lazily.

Sweetpea ignored his friend and found himself watching the table Alyssa sat at again. Watching her. The way she threw her head back to laugh. The bright little smile that gave him the distinct feeling that yes, she could certainly be a handful if she really wanted to and she were really being her truest self. He  glared at Reggie when the two locked eyes after a few minutes.

And while the advice his best friend Fangs gave him was a good idea in theory, it was not an idea good enough to stop Sweetpea. Even though Sweetpea knew good and well that it probably should’ve been.

He needed to just let go.

He’d die before admitting it, but knowing he’d never have a chance with her only made him want her so much more. Enough that maybe the thought took root.. Maybe he could keep stirring things up. At the very least, Reggie wouldn’t have her all to himself anymore after it all played out. ,, and anybody is better than that fucking prick Mantle.” Sweetpea shoved the thought out of his head as soon as it came, because he knew deep down it was a lie.

He wanted her. All to himself.

[santiagonex]

As 2020 is nearing, it’s time to see what 2019 has brought us when it comes to gay representation in tv shows and movies. Below ‘read more’, there’s a whole list of tv shows/ships/movies (with pictures and basic description) which include/are about gay (used as an umbrella term) men and couples (so basically have gay storylines and at least one gay person is a main character of the show/movie).

Since I’m a gay man, I keep up mostly with mlm, if I included wlw as well, I don’t think the list would be complete with my lack of knowledge, so sorry about that. I’m pretty sure there are more competent people who can do that instead of me.

Total Count of TV Shows in the list: 65 Total Count of Movies in the list: 27

 Anyways, here we go.

TV SHOWS

TV SHOWS WITH TITULAR/CENTRAL GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

The Other Two: the funniest most-relatable show centered around three siblings – one of them is gay (left). A must-watch for sure. He’s pretty much the hugest part of the show, there are some love storyline (...and they were roomates), some self-loving moments and iconic lines. Just watch it, you won’t regret it.

Sex Education: show about two best friends, one of them (right) is gay. His name is Eric and he gets involved with his enemy Adam (left). Amazing show.

Special: show about a gay man Ryan (right) with mild cerebral palsy, who wants to live his life as an independent person to the fullest. Easy and short show to watch.

Druck (German SKAM Remake): if you don’t know SKAM, it’s pretty much a show where each season is devoted to one character. Third season of German SKAM aired this year and it was revolved around a gay guy (left). For the first time in SKAM history, the main character’s love interest is a trans guy (right).

Skam France (French SKAM Remake): the French version of SKAM had a gay season this year as well. 

WTFock (Belgian SKAM Remake): Belgium has a season focused on the main gay character this year as well.

El corazón nunca se equivoca: I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of Aristemo from ‘Mi marido tiene más familia’. Well, they’d already aired the first season of the new spin-off centered around their lives in college (I think).

Merlí: Sapere Aude: Bruno (left) and Pol (right) fans, it’s time to make some noise. Brunol is coming back because Pol is getting a spin-off which will be taking place in university. Bruno will be in it as well. First episode airs on 5th of December this year.

Pose: second season of Ryan Murphy’s popular show with main transgender and gay characters has aired this year.

The Politician: another show from Ryan Murphy was created. The main protagonist of the show (right) is played by Ben Platt and he’s gay. The show contains many LGBT+ main characters.

Tales of the City: the revival of the Tales of the City sequence of miniseries aired this year. The show includes many LGBT+ storylines.

The L Word: Generation Q: the revival of The L Word show will air on 8th of December this year. The show is mainly about lesbians, but based on trailer, there will be a gay couple included as well.

Years and Years: very futuristic show with a political message. Includes both mlm and wlw as main characters.

The Red Line: the plot of this show involves a white cop in Chicago who mistakenly shoots and kills a black doctor named Harrison. Harrison had a husband (left) and daughter (right). The show deals with the consequences of the event.

Now Apocalypse: all I’m gonna say is that Beck from Victorious got to make out with Scott from Teen Wolf, Matty from Awkward and Jake from Glee. The show was renewed for second season and later this statement was taken back and it got cancelled – which I guess says enough about the show.

This Close: the show is about two best friends who are deaf. One of them (left) is gay and has a storyline and spicy scenes with the guy on the right and some other guys as well. 

Schitt’s Creek: David (right) and Patrick (left) aka the cutest softest couple of all time. The last season of the show will air next air. Watch the show if you wanna laugh and watch the healthiest gay couple on tv. They also got engaged this year, which was beautiful.

NEW TV SHOWS (1 SEASON) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS

Daybreak: both main characters and basically on different sides of the battles. Who wouldn’t want to watch enemies being in love Romeo & Juliet style.

El Juego de las Llaves (The Game of Keys): very interesting and fun show to follow, the one on the right is the main character. He’s closeted, has a girlfriend and gradually realizes there’s something else out there. Nice kissing scenes, plus one very spicy scene. Doesn’t hurt that the guy on the left he will be involved with looks like a dollar store Chris Evans if you squint hard enough.

Five Bedrooms: 5 strangers moves in. The guy in the middle is gay. His mom is a very traditional Indian woman who just wants grandchildren. The whole show is heart-warming and sad at times. The guy gets fair share of screentime and some love interests including a cop from the neighbourhood.

Made In Heaven: Indian show that follows the lives of Tara and Karan (left), two wedding planners in Delhi running an agency named Made in Heaven. Karan is gay. Very progressive show with spicy gay scenes.

What/If: haven’t seen the show yet but friends said these two have a nice storyline in the show. Threesome included.

Bonding: show about two best friends Pete (left) and Tiff (right). Pete is gay. They basically... do freaky shit for work... umm. Just watch trailer or something.

Osmosis: I have no idea what the show is about but the guy on the left is set to betrying to find a soulmate or something. I think I remember seeing some spicy scenes.

Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists: basically some gay romance with the guy on the right and someone else. The one on the left dies the first episode so I did not even bother after that. But you can be the judge of it.

Doom Patrol: Larry (left) is a superhero, kinda. There’s something haunting his past, though. Something that involves being gay.

The Umbrella Academy: Klaus (left) my favorite character. He’s kind of a hero along with his other siblings. There’s a deep gay storyling along the way.

Weird City: anyways... all I’m gonna say is that Dylan O’Brien played a gay for one episode in a show. Wish there wasn’t this huge ugly age difference.

Roswell, New Mexico: cowboys, aliens, bisexuality, homosexuality and all that. Didn’t really see the show but there’s a lot of content with these two.

Good Trouble: never saw the sow but the guy on the picture is a main bisexual characters. There are some mlm scenes.

The Society: Grizz (right) and Sam (left) literally the highlight of the show. Just watch it, it is worth to see it for both of them. Sam is also deaf. The show is basically about a bunch of teenagers getting stuck in a town with no one else in or around.

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The High School Musical tv show has just started airing on Disney+. Carlos (left) is confirmed to be gay and to be getting a nice development this season which will probably involve Seb (right) as well.

The Heights: Australian tv show. Sully (left) is gay. Got a thing for Ash (right) at the start. Then things were messy. Then they suddenly kissed. And the things are messy again.

El Club (The Club): very interesting show. The gave these two really (like REALLY) spicy scenes. Some romantic stuff. But there’s really not much depth in my option. Check and see.

Volevo fare la rockstar: didn’t see it but it’s an Italian show and there’s a romantic storyline between these two.

No Good Nick: Jeremy (right) came out this year on this sitcom. Nice and very weid sitcom. Unfortunately it was cancelled, but the way they handled his gay storyline was rather nice.

World on Fire: follows lives of ordinary people from Britain, Poland, France, Germany and the USA during World War II. Two of them are gay. And yeah one of those two is Will from sense8.

TV SHOWS (1 SEASON+) WITH MAIN GAY CHARACTERS/SHIPS 

Andi Mack: the show that made history. Andi Mack is a Disney Channel show and for the first time in Disney Channel history, Cyrus (right) came out using the word ‘gay’ and made it official with the recurring character TJ (left) this year. The two-season slow-burn was really worth it.

Shadowhunters: Malec got married this year. Yay.

Grey’s Anatomy: Levi and Nico still going strong.

La Casa de las Flores (The House of Flowers): despite the first season making it seem like it was the end for Diego and Julián, that’s not the case. In season 2, they’re stronger than ever, the scenes are spicier than ever and the show is gayer than ever.

Baby: first season was mostly focused on Fabio (face on right) realizing he’s gay. The second season has shockingly showed us that Brando (face on left) is gay as well. Very toxic ship so if you enjoy Gallavich this is probably for you.

Élite: Omar and Ander continuing their journey.

Shameless: Ian (up) and Mickey (down) came back to Shameless season 10 as main characters. About time.

Station 19: new love interest (left, a deaf character portrayed by a deaf actor) was introduced for Travis (right) in the season 2 finale. Let’s see what happens in season 3, which airs in 2020.

Ackley Bridge: they pretty much baited us with Cory (left) and Naveed (right) this season. They stayed just friends, but Naveed found a love interest, so that’s nice.

Find Me In Paris: Never saw the show, but Jeff (on the picture) is gay and his love interest Isaac gets introduced in second season that aired this year.

13 Reasons Why: Tony and Caleb going strong. It was also revealed that Monty (right) is a closeted gay and had a storyline with Winston (left). There’s probably more to come with them in next season. 

Insatiable: unfortunately they didn’t serve much Bob (right) & Bob this year. But they introduced detective Rudy (left) and there were some scenes and twists and turns. Whatever.

Riverdale: I don’t care. Kevin (left) is still there. There are some gay charcters based on wiki, but yeah. Crumbs, I bet. Whatever.

Charité: second season (which has the two main gay characters) takes place in Berlin in 1943. You don’t need to watch the first season at all, to understand the second one with them, it’s basically a stand-alone.

Animal Kingdom: Deran and Adrian’s story coming to an end?

The Magicians: Well, they killed off the central bi character Quentin (on the picture), so fuck them. 

How to Get Away With Murder: Connor (left) and Oliver (right) still there.

Dear White People: haven’t seen it, but Lionel (on the picture) is still there and he’s gay.

Zoe Valentine: there’s this web series and these two have a storyline in second season that aired this year.

SOAP OPERAS AND TELENOVELAS

Sturm der Liebe: Boris (left) and Tobias (right) are married and lived happily ever after. Really cute and sometimes dramatic storyline overall. Check it out.

Malhação: Vidas Brasileiras: Santiago (left) and Michael (right) had a gay storyline but the show ended this year.

Malhação: Toda Forma de Amar: Guga (right) and Serginho (left) have a gay storyline in the show.

Eastenders: Ben (left) and Callum’s (right) storyline has begun this year.

Neighbours: David (right) and Aaron (left) aka husbands still in the soap.

REALITY SHOWS

Queer Eye: five gay guys helping others. Season 3, 4 and a special have aired this year.

Are You the One?: for the first time in the show’s history, season 8 of this dating reality show had an all-sexually fluid cast this year. Which means mlm and wlw and anything else. Really fun show.

MOVIES

Benjamin: don’t even remember what the movie was about but I rec because it was cute and I mean hello Merlin.

Boy Erased: homosexuality and religion. Has a Troye Sivan in it. Very decent movie.

And Then We Danced: my favorite gay movie of this year. All the things they had to do to be able to film this in homophobic Georgia (the country)... just wow. It’s a must-watch.

Who Would You Take to a Deserted Island?: didn’t know what to expect from this movie. It is based on a play and it shows. Watch and be the judge of it. The acting was really highlight of the movie.

This Is Not Berlin: hasn’t seen it yet since it was just officially released. But it is included in an LGBT+ section so... hopefully they didn’ lie.

Rocketman: movie about Elton John with Taron Egerton and Richard Madden... I mean, phew.

Un Rubio (The Blonde One): gonna watch this, apparently it’s amazing based on what some of my mutuals have said.

The Death and Life of John F. Donovan: Jon Snow being gay and kissing Chris Zylka. Made by Xavier Dolan. A literal tripple threat. Genuinely enjoyed the movie and the soundtrack.

Ranchlands: haven’t seen this but my friend said it’s amazing.

Steam Room Stories: this movie was something... Eating Out levels of ‘I-’ but without all the sex. I guess watch this if you are bored.

Posledice (Consequences): very spicy and intriguing movie. Slovenia snapped with this one.

Papi Chulo: didn’t like this movie and the concept of it but... you can check out and see for yourself.

Dolor y gloria (Pain and Glory): Antonio Banderas kissing a man. Hopefully it really is a gay-related movie because I haven’t seen it yet.

Die Stropers (The Harvesters): brilliant cinematography but I expected much more from the movie.

Giant Little Ones: what happens when you’re into your best friend’s sister but the best friend gives you a BJ. Well... watch and see.

Kanarie (Canary): a war musical about a small town boy who gets chosen to serve his compulsory two year military training in the South African Defence Force Choir and Concert. Loved the involvement of the Boy George music, aesthetic and story. One of my favorites this year. 

Luciérnagas (Fireflies): haven’t seen it yet but the description says that the main gay character (right) “flees from persecution in Iran and ends up living in the tropical town of Veracruz.”

El Angel: haven’t seen it but apparently there are some implications it was lowkey gay... so yeah.

Dear Ex: from wiki “San Lian was devastated when she discovered her late ex-husband left his insurance payout to his male partner Ah Jie. She decided to bring her son to fight for their rights, but her son instead chose to stand on the other person's side.” Will watch this soon, sounds interesting.

Sauvage: one of the best gay movies this year. Don’t know how to describe it so let me copy paste the description “ Léo is a sex worker who uses drugs whilst longing for love.”

Sócrates: haven’t seen it yet as it was just released.

Marilyn: story about a farm worker who discovers his sexuality in a hostile environment. Didn’t see it since someone has told me there are some scenes that are really HARD to stomach and I ain’t about that life.

Les Crevettes pailletées (The Shiny Shrimps): the movie is about an Olympic swimming champion who makes a homophobic comment in a television interview, and is disciplined by the national swim team with the responsibility of coaching a gay water polo team who aspire to compete in the Gay Games. Sounds and looks like an amazing comedy and can’t wait to watch it when I will be able to.

Fin de siglo (End of the Century): it’s not out yet as far as I know, but it’s about two men who meet in Barcelona and realize they have met already 20 years ago.

Matthias et Maxime: another excellence by Xavier Dolan. Story about life-long friends who question their sexual identities after they kiss. Looks amazing and I can’t wait for it to get released finally.

The Goldfinch: not a gay movie, but I’ve seen many people considering it as LGBT+ cinema because of the book and you know what, they kissed after all so you can perceive it beyond friendship if you want. If not, then just skip it. I feel like it is worth mentioning it tho.

Mapplethorpe: movie is about the life of photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Didn’t see it but Doctor Who plays him so there’s that.

UPCOMING

TV SHOWS

9-1-1: Lone Star: The spin-off of a popular show 9-1-1 by Ryan Murphy is premiering 19th of January 2020. It’s confirmed that the main character TK (a firefighter, left) will be romantically involved with the main character Carlos (a police officer, right). The show will also have a main trans man.

Love, Simon: The Series: A Disney+ Love, Simon spin-off is on its way and will premiere in 2020. The series will follow Victor (right) and his coming-out story at the same high school where Love, Simon took place. Didn’t find a photo with his love interest. The guy on the left will most likely be his enemy.

[alexzalben]

I'll be honest season 1-2 maybe 3 Bughead i loved. But now Riverdale has become Bugheadale, most of the main plotline last season was them, hell we even got a whole episode of it. For me it's too much it's like i'm sick of seeing their faces 😂Archie just boxes and fights people on the street occasionally and Veronica has been sidelined with daddy issues for the past 3 years. Don't even get me started on Cheryl, Kev, Toni, Fangs, Reggie and parents.

I’ve talked about this before, but I don’t think that’s Bughead’s fault so much as the imbalance of the show that insists on not mixing up characters’ plotlines. The show is very mystery driven, and other than Betty and Jughead, everyone else barely investigates mysteries. Not that the entire cast needs to become detectives, but: Veronica has a speakeasy, a perfect place to find info from shady elements; Archie runs a boxing gym, which could train or ferret out thugs; Cheryl is connected to the wealthy people in town; Toni to the people on the outskirts. The structure is there to mix all of this together... They just don’t.

[go-ldy]

I have zero self-control, so, if you're up to it: best and worst episode(s) of Riverdale?

I love this question! Sorry for the delay in answering, I have had to give this the deep thought and contemplation it deserves! Best episodes is easier for me tbh because there are only maybe one or two episodes of Riverdale that I did not like. I’ve decided to break it down into my best/worst for each season.

I’ve tried to approach this being as objective as possible but.... you know, I am only human, and I am easily swayed when Betty and Jughead make out a lot. 

Season 1

Best

1x10 or 1x11 with 1x11 having a slight edge. Obviously, the bughead angst content in both is A++ and what I am here for, but I also think that 1x11 in particular does a good job of moving the plot along while developing the characters at the same time (Riverdale is not always good at this ok so it is important to remark on it when it meets this bar!). We have Homecoming, and the incredibly awkward Cooper-Jones pre-Homecoming dinner, and Varchie sneaking into FP’s trailer behind Betty and Jughead’s back, and Veronica desperately trying to determine if her father had a role to play in Jason’s murder, and FP’s arrest (!!!) and Jughead running off at the end in a funk. There is a lot that happens AND everyone goes to a dance! It is sadly rare to have a Riverdale episode where everyone feels intertwined to the main story and where the Core 4 get to interact and develop. Plus, Jughead is so adorably excited about his and Betty’s family meeting even though they are 16 and have been dating for like two months. MY HEART. He was already planning their wedding.

Worst

1x09. It is the only episode of season 1 that felt filler. And I would still rank it higher than the other “worst” episodes on this list. But the main plot of Archie being used by the Blossom family is ehhhhhh. And frankly uncomfortable given his all too real recent past of being used by Ms. Grundy with no acknowledgment from the show whatsoever that these gross adults keep using this 16 year-old kid to serve their own purposes. So yeah, probably the worst of season 1.

Season 2

Best

I have to go with 2x14. Okay, okay 2x05/2x06 are probably better written and better plotted and have less dialogue that makes me want to end myself, but hear me out. 2x14 is the absolute essence of Riverdale packed into 40 glorious minutes:

Each couple has a spat with each other and then against each other, we get Betty versus Jughead, Archie versus Veronica, Bughead versus Varchie, and it is great???? yeah, you all fight over Hiram’s nefarious plot to buy up all the newspapers in town. 

Bughead listens to Varchie have sex and the vice-versa like an hour later as normal friends do.

Betty and Veronica talk about abuelita (I must know more about abuelita!).

An entire scene where Archie wakes up early to chop wood?? At someone else’s house? Even though he’s only there for a weekend?? Again, very normal, every day teenage behaviour. And Veronica pervs on him while sipping coffee. Get it, V.

Some of the worst, cringiest dialogue this show has ever had, and that is a HIGH BAR including: “A Vughead Kiss? Right now, in the present, might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” THIS IS THE WORST LINE OF DIALOGUE EVER WRITTEN, LIKE OF ALL TIME, I CAN BARELY WATCH. IT IS NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD, END ME.

Archie doing push ups in his bedroom, because OF COURSE ARCHIE RANDOMLY DOES PUSHUPS BEFORE BED AND ALSO WHEN UPSET HAVE YOU SEEN HIM. And then Veronica propositions him for sex and Archie, still mad about Vughead, turns her down. And this is an actual scene that takes up time in a 40 minutes episode??? I love it.

Lodge Lodge

They play monopoly

And then get attacked by home invaders!!!

Who Archie chases into the woods only for one of them to be killed by Andre so that Hiram can later frame Archie for a murder he didn’t commit.

anyway 2x14 is the best episode of Riverdale maybe ever, tell your friends.

Worst

2x11 for the reasons @arsenicpanda has articulated before - mostly involving the clumsy way that the writers tried to parallel the Serpents to the plight of Native Americans. And Jughead’s awkward white saviour plotline, eugh. Although bonus points for Archie trying to wrestle to impress Hiram for some reason?? I can’t hate it.

Season 3

Best

Season 3 has a lot of contenders. I’m torn between the parentale breakfast club episode (which also featured crazy-G&G-Jughead, a fave of mine) and the Prom episode, but I’m going to go with 3x20, Prom Night because this episode is a sheer delight from start to finish. Hal Cooper fakes his own death by cutting off his hand and then he replaces it with a hook - legends only. CHONI FOR PROM QUEENS until the dream is killed by Edgar. U KNOW that is when Cheryl started reconsidering the whole Farm business even with the whole being able to talk to Jason’s corpse thing. 

Bughead investigate shit and make great faces. Varchie go to prom as the least platonic “friends” ever and it is adorable. Everybody somehow wears the best outfits even though Bughead changed the Prom theme the night before. Betty being chased through the school by the Black Hood/her dad is legitimately terrifying. 10/10.

Worst

3x09, hands down. I have a lot of beef with this episode. My main beef is that 3x08 ends on this great cliffhanger and there is zero payoff? Jughead and FP come home to find the town is under QUARANTINE, no one is allowed IN OR OUT, and then in 3x09, he is snuggling in bed with Betty and it was like????? but what about the quarantine?? how did you get back in?? honestly the first time I watched 3x09, I thought I must have skipped an episode, but NOPE, the quarantine cliffhanger was waved off and I will never forgive them for this.

Secondly, most of this episode is spent in Archie’s feverish dream/hallucination and I just find dream episodes real dull, sorry Archie. I love that Archie tried to box a bear, I mean good for him, but the the dream sequences are boring.

Season 4

Best

A tie between 4x14 and 4x15. I just love these two episodes. The Preppies are legit the best villains this show has ever had (especially Donna, my love <333). There were real stakes for the Core 4, and even though I was pretty sure Jughead was not dead, I was still insanely happy to see him again in 4x15. Betty threatening Donna in the woods while wearing Jughead’s sherpa is a total bamf move, MARRY ME, BETTY COOPER. Jughead’s faux funeral is a+. Even the BA fake dating scheme (before it went horribly awry in the following episodes) is hilarious to me. Like, what kind of horrible plan is this?? if Betty seriously dated Archie following Jughead’s death, she would need therapy STAT, but the town of Riverdale is just like “oh ok I guess Jughead is dead.” Okay, sure. Plus Donna taunting Betty over the fact that she apparently can’t go two hours without needing to bone Jughead and therefore Betty’s plan was doomed to failure. How was this a real scene that happened. Oh my god, these episodes are so great.

Worst.

4x17. I mean, obviously. Please don’t make me have to explain.

[barchie-queen-is-back]

OPEN TO SURPRISE - a quick take on what might be next in the ships of Riverdale

Sooo I came back to Riverdale for the time jump refresh. It felt fresh and free and great and then episode 5x07 happened. I was pissed - it was going so well. I was busy feeling sorry myself for once again getting sucked in to this ridiculousness (after the Barchie baiting in season 2, who could blame me), and preparing to make a dramatic exit from the show again. However, I was scanning all the hints and wondering how it could all go so wrong and after starting so strong. And then I decided I still had hope.

WHY I WAS MOURNING THE POTENTIAL

So I was about to jump.

The Barchie potential post time jump - to finally explore the “what-if” and the feelings they definitively had/have for each other without hurting anyone, to bond over their similar traumas and the fact that they have historically been a safe space for each other, their shared hero complexes, it gives me shivers. Also Mr and Mrs Smith, kick ass team ups, my heart. And to be able to do this with the maturity and freedom of adulthood seemed amazing. I felt like the writers would finally throw the Barchies a bone [heh] for at least an ark, especially after basically ignoring that they had any relationship at all for multiple episodes at a time (much less being best friends).

Anyways, after 5 seasons I’m not strong enough to deal as they dick us around. Like we got two steamy scenes and 1.5 episodes of fun and then fucking married Veronica is back in the picture? They are SO FUCKING CRUEL. Stop baiting me please, just let me go in peace if you are going to waste this beautiful ship.

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

So between 5x07 and the promo for 5x08, I was this close to quitting the show (not the ship). really? Varchie again? and the likely end of Barchie FWB because Betty wouldnt stand for that shit. I was pissed they didn’t even give the ship a chance to breathe (and bitter that V+A’s “friendship” got more time than Betty and Archie’s friendship did for like three seasons), much less for them to actually, really talk after all of these years. And then, as I was scouring through the interviews with the writers, there seemed a lot of themes were coming out about their approach - a relook, a parallel to the past.

They were using words like : Unexpected. Exciting. Fun. Deep. (And maybe real)?

The whole inevitable Varchie thing seemed both expected and unexpected but not... fun you know. Like really? He’s just going to fall back to that so quickly?

FWB was definitely fun (and maybe unexpected), but not deep (or maybe too deep if you know what I mean ;)). And the way the fandom seems to imply (and my season 2 insecurities respond to) that that was it, that Betty would be cast aside for V/others all over again just made me so sad.

BUT

What if

They legit are going to do something unexpected?

Instead of crying Betty from season 1, will FBI boss bitch Betty fight back? I don’t think she’s going to run away but is she willing to face up to her feelings?

I hope whatever bombs they drop in 5x08 really open the door for a real relationship, for exploring Betty and Archie’s obvious sexual chemistry, and give the weak like me enough hope to keep on through the angsty roller coaster.

And if they are baiting me I swear to god I’m out. Last chance. I’ll binge it in a few years.