#don’t even get me started on neverseen i loved neverseen

[thelasttaleofthepari]

Guys I miss reading KOTLC for the first time :(

[floofeeeeee]

Time to be a little hater HEHEH this my rant on the Kotlc sub reddit

I HATE and I mean HATE THIS REDDIT ONG homophobia has tow down a bit but ugh…this sub Reddit….is depressing as hell

Like LIKEEEEE uh there’s a lot of things I dislike that I’m going to explain here I’ll try not to make it long but I’m a yapper SOO no promises (also there will be so many spelling mistakes erm)

Ok First things first

They hate the books like genuinely hate it, it’s wild. And not in the way we’re there just criticizing like I’ve seen on here. I’ve seen some very good points and discussions that have been overall respectful and you can tell they still enjoy the books even with the criticism. Like I’ve eaten up every book but still had the things I like to nitpick. But on the sub Reddit…it’s such a different vibe man.. like they find it childish (crazy it’s almost like it was made for 12 year old ) and just dislike every book except like the first. They constantly talk about how much they think the newer suck. They hate the plot and most of it writing. At this point don’t read it????? You clearly do not enjoy the books why are you here???

And the worst part is there are a lot of younger kids on there then here.. like these are kids who want to find a space to talk about there favorite books and your just complaining all the time…UUGHHHGBHBHH

PART TWO

The homophobia…. Sighhhhh it’s Reddit idk man but I’ve seen a few things erm.. yeah it’s gotten better like a lot I’d say compared to Pinterest but still it’s gross.

Part three my favoriteeee part! (Lies)

The Sophie hate. (Oh that hurts my soul)

Now I’ve seen criticism of Sophie on here before! It’s normal! But this is actually hate like…Ong why

Let’s just start of with the fact the if you go on there now I guarantee if you scroll down a bit you will find a post hating on Sophie. It’s all the same stuff to “I miss the old Sophie! She’s such a brat now!” She’s so annoying she doesn’t deserve Keefe!” “I hate how rude she is in stellarlune !” That pretty basic and toning  it down a lot . But you get the idea it’s that all the time with a few more things obviously. They think she’s a Mary sue they hate how many powers she’s has they call her weak and are annoyed with the fact that she can’t ever beat the neverseen (it’s almost like she 15 with very little training on how to fight and no one ever offers except until FLASHBACK. when they finally are like hmm maybe we should teach her how to defend herself! REALLY NOW? AFTER ALL THIS TIME??) they give very very little grace.

But it keeps going now there is hate for fitz…but I feel like the hate for Sophie is worse.

That brings us to our next part

There highkey misogynistic .. NOW HEAR ME OUT OKK get it they can dislike a girl character that’s fine! (It’s not /j) but here’s why I think that

fitz defenders on there and they are interesting…like I love fitz lovers on here there very cool and are respectful

Not Reddit!

A litte while back I saw post talking about sofitz break up in legacy and well…they blamed it all on Sophie!!! How sweet 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 now this isn’t me saying she wasn’t at fault at all during that time BUT neither was fitz they both were they both had there struggles and it was clear to me that Sophie wasn’t ready. But they want on a long rent about how most of it was her fault and how much she ruined the relationship…oh my. And yes it’s there opinion but when a whole sub Reddit is in favor of the man more then the woman……….I just thinks it’s weird and maybe this isn’t very misogynistic

But! I’ve seen Keefe lover on There ranting about how bad sophie is for Keefe and how much they hate the idea of them together. I’ve seen multiple post loving both of those boy and ragging on Sophie they praise the boys and hate her it’s it’s so…ANNOYING holy crap I hate it. It feels so misogynistic the way they treat those two boys with so much love and affection even though Sophie shows sighs of similar behavior as both of them BUT NOOOOO she’s annoying bratty B and deserve nothing not like my Keefe who deserves the world……….

I’m sorry if I’m not explaining well and I’m getting things wrong this is fully just me needing to rant about that stupid sub Reddit.

I’m not done btw um

Also I saw this person post such an innocent and nice question on why they hate Sophie so much. They were like I’ve seen a lot of hate on Sophie. And I’m a big fan of her can anyone explain to why? No hate I respect your opinion! Something along those lines

And man…it was all the stuff I said before long messages about why they hate her … SIGHHHHHHHH

Anyways besides that there boring that’s all they ever talk about is this and that and there litte hot takes that are just straight up hate Radom person who nos nothing about it and is like ask me questions u have no idea what this book is about! And that fun until you look at the comments and there just annoying about it..And it’s just gahhh

Anyways my wrist hurts and that pretty much the end of my rant feel free to discuss! But please be respectful this was just my frustration that I needed to get out its not that deep I swear

[myfairkatiecat]

nightfall was crazy, but I'm also kind of confused??? It went by sooo fast I was like WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? WAIT WAIT WAIT-

Love the fact that they went on with keefes whole "I'm not worth it, but you are, so I'm going to take over decisions we need to make (as a team) and screw them over so that they cause harm to me and not you!" Kinda vibe, honestly thought that after he came back from the neverseen in lodestar they were just going to forget about it, yk??

Only thing I really didn't like is that like...everyone has a slight distrust to keefe (at least in the start, till he apologized ) but Sophie, the person who was (in my opinion) most affected by his 'betrayal' never once had a doubt???? Like, if someone betrayed me, right? Yk they're my friend whatever whatever, ID STILL HAVE SOME KIND OF LIKE ISSUES WITH THEM???

I feel like her distrusting keefe and then slowly learning to trust him would have made the book MUUUCH better!!

Also, I'm still not getting where the Fitz discourse is coming from, like, his sibling just betrayed him, fell unconscious and WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING?? I can see where the anger issues come from

Holy shit this was long, sorry!

-- @localburntoutkid

Had a blast reading this!

You’re so right about Keefe. That definitely doesn’t get dropped after lodestar, or even nightfall—it’s one of his character’s main flaws, and while it does shift and evolve as the series moves on, it’s kind of there, you know? And I’m really hoping it resolves in some way by the end of the series, because his arc is just… so interesting to me. Because it is NOT arc-shaped. At all.

I get what you mean about Sophie being the only one who doesn’t distrust Keefe when he comes back. I really like that too acknowledge that it’s a Sophie-specific thing, though! Too many people forget that this is a third person limited story told by an unreliable narrator, and act like Shannon Messenger herself is telling us Keefe deserves to be fully trusted. Sophie Foster decides, at the end of Neverseen, not to hate him, and Lodestar is where she has her moments of doubt and distrust, but even in Lodestar, she always believes in Keefe’s good intentions. There’s even a scene where she says something like “Yes, Keefe’s plan is horrible and I hate it, but his heart is in the right place. I have to believe that.” The part about keefe’s plan is paraphrased, but she did say she needs to believe his heart was in the right place, in that wording, and it’s fascinating to me. She’s very attatched to Keefe (obviously) and I think it’s mostly for her own sanity that she chooses over and over to believe that there’s something right about what he’s doing, because letting him go sounds excruciating, even by his own fault.

I actually have no issue with this being Sophie’s perspective, and I actually find it interesting especially in the context of sokeefe, but I wish we got to see this portion through another character’s eyes. For example, Fitz. Someone who does distrust him afterwards, and rightfully so.

As far as Fitz discourse goes, that stuff stemmed less from nightfall and more from flashback and legacy. I don’t hate Fitz in either of those books, but you’ll probably notice the moments that made people kind of go nuts about hating him and ran away with his character (personally, I think Fitz is fully understandable in both books, but don’t fully condone the way he acts in a few scenes, particularly in legacy. I’ll explain later after you’ve read it)

Don’t apologize for length, I’m literally Katie, have you met me? Everything I write is longer than I intend

I’m glad you’re having fun with the KOTLC series. Keep me updated!!!

[crescentpaws]

Your OTP gets to pick out each other’s outfits; what is each wearing?

What are their thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?

How do they feel about PDA?

Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

thank you everyone who responded for enabling my fintante brainrot. i need to talk about them more (i hate them)

(not all of this would work in canon obviously i’m just making generalizations based on my many many aus)

ok anyway…

- i have no idea….. bronte would probably just make fintan take off his neverseen cloak or something. make him dress a little more normal (though in an au where he’s not a neverseen member i have no clue. he’d probably try to make him look a little less chaotic at least). then fintan would probably make bronte wear like. a crop top or something. just because he knows he would hate it. (unless he’s legitimately trying to help him pick out an outfit. in that case i think he would do a decent job at it. he seems like he would have a good sense of style.)

- i think they are the type of couple that would refer to each other as “my love” or whatever…. they don’t overuse pet names tho they are not cringe like that. & they don’t call each other “baby” unless they are trying to be seductive or something lmfaoo 💀

- bronte does not like pda that much because he needs to keep up his emo reputation or whatever…. fintan likes to annoy him with it sometimes though (to me both their love languages are physical touch so it’s less about the intimacy and more about other people perceiving said intimacy. it’s embarrassing!). buttttt i guess it depends on the situation really. i imagine them as both being pretty possessive so like. if bronte sees someone flirting or trying to make a move on fintan or whatever he WILL march over and start making out with fintan in front of this other person just out of spite. then he will angrily hold his hand for the rest of the night. fintan will simply be amused the whole time (even though he knows he would do the same thing, especially if he’s in his neverseen arc). couple goals!

- of course they often have heated arguments they are the most problematic couple in the lost cities. it’s a 50/50 chance whether the argument will end in one of them storming away or an aggressive make out session. the latter helps them cool off faster though and can make apologies come quicker because of the intimacy aspect (kissing is rough at first but then gradually gets softer etc etc). sometimes they just need space though and eventually one of them will come around and apologize. they can’t stay mad at each other forever (i say as if that’s not literally what has happened in canon). the problem is they’re both stubborn. and both have abilities influenced by emotion. they are so emo guys what the hell

- fintan fs (he even does this a lot in my sims game which is so funny help. he wants to be a charming romantic but he just sucks so bad.)

[winterfireice]

Chapter 3!

taglist: @tiana4evahh @doodle-do-wop @amandayetagain

Full chapter under cut

“There is no reason that you should have more cologne than I do perfume,” Biana says to her brother Fitz,  

“It’s not my fault I like to smell nice,” he responds,

Sophie and the rest of her friends were hanging out at Havenfield after a particularly long day at school. Keefe and Fitz had gotten to hear about the lecture regarding safety precautions in case of a Neverseen attack on the school even though, one, the majority of the Neverseen were in a top security prison, two, all of them had more than enough experience dealing with and attacks and of course three, Fitz and Keefe had already graduated. That hadn't stopped their friends from talking about it for over half an hour though,

“How did we get to this topic again?” Marella asks, 

“I don’t know, we went from school, to dessert, to their cosmetics apparently,” Sophie responds,

“That cake in the cafeteria today was delicious though, I hope they have it tomorrow,” Dex mentions,

“When has our school ever had two edible sides in a row?” Stina asks from next to Dex, lying on one of the colorful blankets Sophie had found inside the house,

“Good point, we're never seeing that cake again until the rest of us graduate,” Dex sighs dramatically and falls to the ground, but when he does he brushes against Stina, his cheeks bursting with red hues.

Sophie also noticed the way Stina brushed her hair in front of her face but left the hand that was resting against Dex’s leg, 

“Do you see what I see?” Sophie transmits to Keefe,

“I do! It is taking everything in me not to start screaming,” Keefe’s mind squeals after he lightly nods to Sophie so she can enter his mind, “They are so adorable, they need to confess already,” 

“Is it possible we are too excited about their so far non-existent relationship?” Sophie asks hesitantly,

Keefe’s mind hesitated for a moment, “Maybe, but do we have to deal with that?” 

“Not yet, this is way too much fun. It’s like watching a TV show,” 

“So are we all going to ignore the Sokeefest happening right now?” Marella asks while twirling Linh’s silver hair around her fingers, “they both are staring off into the distance like none of us are here and I have known you telepaths long enough to know that means they are having a conversion none of us can hear,”

“Plus Keefe is starting to look like a tomato and only looks that way when he’s trying to keep something a secret,” Biana adds,

“Nope, nuh-uh. No secrets here just good old friend time,” Keefe says super unconvincingly as he swings an arm around Sophie and rests his head against her shoulder,

“Yeah, that was super believable bud,” Fitz laughs, “And that looks super comfortable, not like your straining your neck at all,” 

“Yup, really comfy. Fos-Boss isn't too close to the ground or anything,” Keefe mumbles,

 Sophie laughs at the feeling of his breath blowing against her skin “You’re tickling me! And you’re going to be in pain later, we should switch,” she gently pushes him off of her side and rests against him. She brings her hand up to his stomach and tickles him in return, making his body thrash,

“You two were made for each other,” Stina says in a tone Sophie can't tell is complimentary or not,

“Thank you?” She responds, “At least I think,” 

“Hey sometimes two people just work well together and there is nothing you can do about it,” Keefe grins in Stina and Dex’s direction, causing Dex to blush even more,

“I want that one day,” Dex almost whispers, 

“I have to say something, I can’t hide how amazing they would be together,” Keefe’s mind almost shouts,

“Don’t you dare,” Sophie tells him, “This is way too important and if we push them they will never admit it, especially Stina we need to let them figure it out on their own. Remember how long it took us to get together? Every time someone teased us about our possible feelings it pushed me farther and farther away from accepting it,” 

“You’re right, I know. But they better figure out their feelings soon because I need to be able to obsess over them because they are perfect for each other,” 

“If you keep it together for a couple of more hours I’ll ask my mom to bake something,” Sophie bribes,

“I know what you’re doing and it’s working,” Keefe playfully sighs,

“Hello, earth to either of you,” manicured hands wave in front of their faces, “What are you guys thinking about?” Biana says,

“Dessert,” Both Keefe and Sophie say at the same time, causing the rest of their friends to laugh,

~~~

“Edaline is the best,” Keefe says while stuffing Custerbursts into his mouth,

Sophie had kept her word and after everyone had gone home she asked her mom to make Custerbursts. Edaline quickly agreed and the three of them started trying to bake them, it mostly went well except for Sophie spilling hot water over her arm and Keefe spilling a bag of flour,

Now they were lying on her bed eating and discussing what Elvin foods tasted like human ones, 

“The purple root thing tastes just like cheeseburgers, ugh I miss cheeseburgers I know we stuff that tastes the same but I miss the textures the Forbbiden cities have,” Sophie says,

“Makes sense, I had the opposite feeling when I lived there, it must be nostalgia or something,” Keefe says as lushberry juice drips down his chin, 

 Sophie nods,  “You need a napkin love, you are going to get juice everywhere,”  

“Better?” Keefe asks after he wipes his mouth,

“You still have some on your nose Love,” Sophie tells him, grabbing a napkin and wiping it off herself,

Keefe takes advantage of Sophie leaning towards him and surprises her by wrapping his arms around her and tickling her until she is laughing so much she falls back onto her pillows,

“Ok stop, stop!” Sophie giggles, 

“That is payback for earlier by the way,” Keefe laughs and he lays beside her, 

“That was overkill Keefe,” Sophie says, “I think you just wanted an excuse to lay down,”

“How could you accuse me of such crimes?” Keefe says sarcastically,

“Because,” the rest of Sophie’s sentence gets interrupted by her imparter ringing suddenly next to her,

“Je crois que je meurs” Stina’s voice comes through the screen,

“You're not dying, breathe and then talk. What's going on?” Sophie responds, staying in French,

“Are you sure that you're not going to use this against me in the future,” Stina asks skeptically,

“I will not use it against you maliciously but one day if this conversation becomes funny I will jokingly make fun of you like friends do, is that ok?” 

“Fine, I guess you’re my best option right now,” Stina sighs, “After we all started to leave your place almost everyone had leaped away but Dex and I, and the wind was blowing my hair everywhere so I was complaining and you want to know what he said?” Stina says like she’s mad at him, “He said, he thought it looked really nice like that,”

“And were angry about that?” Sophie asks, causing Keefe to chuckle,

“Yeah isn't that a compliment?” Keefe asks also in French,

“Wait, he can understand me?” Stina asks confused,

“You didn't know he was here? Sorry, I thought you could see him,” Sophie apologizes,

“No I could see him but he speaks French?”

“Of course I do,” He shifts a little so he is more in the frame of the imparters camera

“What do you mean by of course?” 

“Stina,” Sophie says confused, “You know he’s a polyglot too right?” 

Sophie watches realization dawn on her face, “I need to stop forgetting polygots exist,” 

“Yeah, why does this keep happening to you?” Sophie asks her, “This is the second time,”

“I don’t know! Maybe because me and my family learn languages like normal people instead of just knowing everything,” 

“Wait until you find out we both have photographic memories too,” Keefe teases,

“Shut up, this isn't why I called. You two really double how annoying you are when you guys are together,” 

Sophie cuts Stina off, “Ok go back to what you were talking about, if you want I can kick Keefe out but go back to Dex,” 

“No I guess it’s fine he already knows at this point,” Stina grumbles, “The hair thing was mostly it, I just want to know what he meant by it. You people are all so sickeningly positive all the time even when you’re in the middle of dying that I don’t know if he meant it in a friendly or… in a not just friendly way,” 

“It's impressive how you can insult and compliment us in the same sentence,” Sophie starts, “Do you want what Dex said to be in a friendly way?

“I don't know! Clearly I am out of my depth here Sophie. He probably meant nothing by it and I should ignore it and bury myself under one of the stables until everyone forgets about it,” Stina seems to throw her head into a pillow next to her and Sophie tries to muffle a laugh which only makes it come out as a loud snort,

“Reminder that we can’t forget, with our whole photographic memories,” Keefe mentions,

“Ok, I’m reconsidering your offer to kick him out,” Stina says deadpanned, “Better yet, I’m going to go,”

“You sure? I feel like I didn't help much,” Sophie responds,

“I don’t need advice or anything I think at this point I’m too stubborn for that but thanks for listening,” Stina tells her, “You should go back to your annoying boyfriend,” 

“Aww thanks, Hexie, since you are already impressed by my stunning personality I should tell you I’m on team ‘tell him you're falling for him’,” Keefe peeps up,

Stina makes a face at his comment like she’s disgusted by the implication, “I don’t fall, good night you two,” with that she clicks away leaving Sophie and Keefe alone in her room again,

“I don’t care what she says, she’s falling,” Keefe says switching back to the enlighted language, his arms still lying over Sophie, he snuggles closer moving his face to the crook of his neck,

A buzzing comes from Kefes pocket and he groans in annoyance, 

“Doesn't everyone know it’s snuggle and sleep time?” Keefe mumbles, as he does the bare minimum of moving to answer his imparter,

“Oh it’s Dex,” Keefe seems to perk up only slightly,

“Hi, are you with Sophie?” Dex asks,

“No I just have a really realistic life-sized pillow of her,” Keefe says,

“Don’t mind him, he gets cranky when he’s sleepy,” Sophie laughs, “What’s up?” 

“Well… did Keefe already tell you what I was talking to him about earlier?” 

“Kind of,” Sophie pauses, “I more guessed,” 

“How did you possibly do that?” Dex questions,

“It doesn't matter, I’m assuming you're calling about Stina,” 

“Yeah I am, something happened today when we were leaving your place,”

“Oh really?” Keefe says, his tone slightly elevated for a reason only Sophie knows,

“I told her that her hair was pretty, I’m freaking out because she got really quiet and then made some excuse to go home,” Dex sighs, “I feel like I’m messing it all up, I just want her to like me,” he wines, causing Keefe to laugh and disguise it as a cough, 

“I’m sure it will be fine Mickey Mouse,” Keefe says including the nickname that hasn't gone away since Sophie told him what human Disney was,

“But what if I ruin our friendship and then she never wants to see me again?” Dex continues, “That would be awful,” Dex is looking past the camera lost in thought,

“You should talk to her Dex,” Sophie hints, “It may turn out better than you expect,” 

“She’s right, I mean she usually is but yeah you should tell her,” Keefe mumbles,

“Wow he really is tired,” Dex says as Keefe yawns,

“Yeah, I should probably let you go before he starts snoring,” Sophie only half-jokes,

“Good plan, I’ll see you tomorrow at the team meeting,” 

“Good night, oh, and Dex? You really should talk to Stina,” at Sophie’s comment Dex only shakes his head before hanging up,

“They’re oblivious,” Keefe says with his eyes closed,

“So were we and look at us now,” Sophie whispers, to the blonde boy in her arms,

“Fair point,” Keefe whispers back, “Can we sleep now? You’re too comfy not to fall asleep on,” 

“Of course love,” Sophie reaches to turn off the light and settles into bed falling asleep next to the oblivious idiot that stole her heart,

[jeannefostergoriot]

The Prophecy x Sophie Foster

(How that, it’s my third analysis of the day?)

« Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle »: she literally caught starlight as one of her first accomplishments. And then unending fire. Lightning here as a symbol of power. Fire as the fact that she is right.

« Oh, but it’s gone again »: but no one ever let her decide, she always have opposition, whether it’s the Council, the Black Swan, her bodyguards, even her friends, she has to argue. Power never stays hers.

« And it was written, I got cursed as Eve got bitten »: all her life was thought before her, her wars exists before her. She’s cursed from beginning to end.

« Oh, was it punishment? Pad around when I got home » is how she feels after every defeat, after every time she couldn’t keep things from going bad, every time Keefe left.

« I guess a lesser woman would’ve lost hope »: she is still a fighter. As of the end of Unlocked and Stellarlune, we see that awakening, and she starts to take pride in it.

« A greater woman wouldn’t beg »: she has yet no trust in herself. Almost no confidence. She isn’t as great as she could, thinks she.

« But I looked at the sky and said »: through the panakes branches, Sophie is looking at the sky every night, and she is begging.

« Please, I’ve been on my knees, change the prophecy »: everyday wishing, waiting for a change, hoping it could be easy for once.

« Don’t want money, just someone who wants my company » *look to Keefe*. And it’s not just someone, it’s peace, she wants peace by her side.

« Let it once be me… »: let her be just a normal teenager. She deserves it.

« Who do I have to speak to, about if they can redo, the prophecy? »: she’d bargain for so long. If she just knew who to address. She’d bargain for everything and if she’d get a rebuttal for peace for herself, she’d ask for her friends…

« Cards on the table, mine play out like fools in a fable, oh » is about how she’s feeling about the fact that the Neverseen always seem so much further in their plans and their attacks. Like they always know what Sophie will do next.

« It was sinking in, slow in the quicksand »: the progressive realization over the four first books that she has, not only a whole world to discover, but secret organizations to deal with. And in background the fact she actually has to *stop* one.

(Also, yes, I thought of the access to Atlantis and the cover of book 6)

« Poison blood from the wound of the pricked hand »: post Neverseen, post Unlocked. Even more Unlocked. Cause Keefe ran away, refused to stay, to be helped, and even if it’s not treason this time, it hurts. And she doesn’t know who to trust. She doesn’t know who she loves. She doesn’t know who she is.

« Oh still I dream of him ». Sophie, if you ever get sleep, we all know Runaway Boy is in your dreams.

« And I sound like an infant »: she prays, she hopes, she doesn’t want this place. But she gets remorse from this, calls herself an infant who has to grow up and stop complaining.

« Feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen »: she’s alone. The story can’t continue without her, the ink has to be used, but she is terribly lonely and vulnerable. The last on Earth able to do something.

« A greater woman stays cool, but I howl like a wolf to the moon »: Sophie is over-achieving and going to burnout. That’s pretty clear. She has that idea in her mind of the greater woman she has to be. But she’s here, crying, praying, trying to go on, having panic attacks, insomnia, anxiety.

« And I look unstable ». She often looks very tired, it’s said multiple times. Also, at the beginning of Stellarlune, everyone looks at her like she’s crazy for the storehouse fire.

« Gathered with a coven at a sorceress’ table »: her coven is her friends, her team, all around her, doing planes. And the sorceress table is that magic thing Mr Forkle showed us with different views of places and options.

« A greater woman as faith, but even statues crumble »: that’s when she will realize she can actually be enough.

« If they’re made to wait »: and that’s the reason she starts burning. Fighting. Attacking. Cause she doesn’t want to crumble anymore.

« I’m so afraid I sealed my fate ». Sophie is thinking that constantly, about every decision she makes, wondering which one could be fatal.

« No sign of soulmates »: cause she’s unmatchable

« I’m just a paperweight »: useful, a little, but a weight, how she thinks.

« Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it’ll be ok »: she needs so much to hear it. And it’s not said enough in this series.

[spaceagebachelormann]

Dating Tam Song headcanons for the poor please? Also, are you excited for the shadow and bone cast q&a? Cause I certainly am.

DATING TAM SONG

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FANDOM: keeper of the lost cities

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ FORMAT: headcanons

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ WARNINGS: one teeny tiny angsty mention, like technically a few spoilers??

  ੈ✩‧₊˚ A/N: HI ALICE!!! i am over the moon for the shadow and bone cast q&a ive never been more excited for anything ever in my life

kotlc masterlist || masterlist || navigation

BEEN WAITING FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE I STARTED THIS BLOG

okay so he is like the greatest most awesomest boyfriend ever istg

he seems like his love language would be acts of service

and also he’d genuinely be upset if you walked into a room without him opening the door for you or sat down without him pulling out the chair

he’s a gentleman let him be one <3

you’re required to be friends with linh

if she doesn’t like you it’s an immediate red flag (unless your rayni)

sophie WILL make you take a 325 question quiz to see if you’re right for her bsf

no i’m joking it’s 5 questions

anyways

he’d like shows from like the 50s-early 70s

so you’ll walk in on him watching something in black and white and be like “what’s this” and you better sit down because he’s gonna tell you the whole plot

it’s so interesting watching him talk about stuff he likes <33 his eyes light up and he starts rambling

you can tell he’s passionate about it

THIS MAN IS A BIG CUDDLER BTW

your legally obliged to not tell anyone especially keefe this but he thrives on cuddles

like even if it’s for 5 mins in the most uncomfortable position ever it’s enough to make his whole week

hed also make an insane effort to keep you away from both the neverseen and his parents

hes lost enough and you don’t need to be added to that long list <3

okay um anywyas next

hed call you the most weirdest names ever

“hey i brought that thing you wanted” “thank you baguette”

he basically just calls you foods

also we’ve seen how protective he is of linh right??? yeah that but with you is 10x worse

will quite literally follow you around

and like it’s not in a “i don’t trust you” way it’s in a “i just want you to be safe” way

he’ll back off if you ask him too

the thing is he has that “anything for you <3” mentality but it’s more like “ANYTHING for you. <3”

more threatening basically

also so help me god if someone tries to hurt you in some way

they like can’t even look at you afterwards

okay next set of hcs!!

i think he’d like

LOVE to read and hed like go to the library every other day to get 15 new books

and i have this cute little idea of him going there because you go there and it gives him an excuse to stare at you for several hours <3

its probably how you met him

but then again he seems like he’s more likely to fall for someone who’s known for a few months/years

also he can sculpt because i said so

so if you like sculptures/mythology he makes you little statues

will let you mess with his hair and braid it and put it in pigtails and stuff

after much convincing

he’s like super shy at the beginning of the relationship but as it progresses and he becomes more comfortable you can tell how much he really does like you

linh tells you not to be alarmed cause he’s just getting comfortable

also when he gets excited he has this little look in his eyes

they become all sparkly and glittery

now it’s 5x more sparkly and glittery when he’s talking to you

OH HE COMES TO YOUR HOUSE A LOT

i kinda like the idea of him and a childhood friends to lovers and like he comes to your house a lot so he doesn’t have to go home

hed love holding your hands btw

no matter if they’re warm, cold, rough, soft, small, big, he loves them

will constantly be grabbing your hands and dragging you around (affectionately)

he loves kissing them also

before he’s about to leave to go do something he takes one of your hands and gently kisses it before skeddadling

he could talk to you for hours

theres times in conversations where someone will be talking and he internally WILL NOT CARE AT ALL but as soon as you have your own input/opinion he’s listening intently

also imagine going to something with him where you need to dress fancy and he sees you in your fancy pretty outfit and is like awestruck

unable to form words

thinks you are the most amazing person ever like he’d kill for you if you asked

also would love doing your hair

okay it’s 12am i have to sleep

he’s such a good bf i love him

[silverwasafukintrainwreck]

basically all my stories in progress: (possible cw for disturbing themes in some of these? idk read at your own risk nothing explicit is mentioned)

-cuphead fanfiction that i started when i was eight, suddenly remembered in 2020 and said “hey this is. pretty cool. maybe i should pick it up again”.

-rpg game inspired by utdr/ddlc/ other similar psychological horror games that explores teenage suicide and especially survivors of attempts, metaphorically told by a fantasy dimension (Eyesight)

-yet another rpg game that talks about death but in a more comical slice of life way. six characters work in an arcade/amusement park and they all die in an “accident.” they get sent to purgatory while trying to find out what the heck got them killed in the first place, and Death™️ gives them a job at an… arcade. where they experience wacky things such as victorian era cannibals and karens from 1643. customer service is still a bitch even after they die (Aftercade)

-one of my only stories that isn’t fantasy, focusing on four senior year students who all got held back for different reasons. also kinda exploring mental health issues and the school system, and how someone is even supposed to get prepared for entering Real Life after finally graduating (Hold on!)

-miraculous ladybug but it takes place in Brazil and ladybug and chat noir are in lesbians with each other. i don’t know why i started that. it was meant as a joke. i can’t stop writing for these stupid characters now.

-local alt girl who gets bullied accidentally finds an ancient book about demons. girl gets involved with said demons. what the fuck guys i was just chilling in the library. magic glass gives her cool powers. seriously why is your face melting are you ok (Demonology)

-one time silver played People Playground and got attached to three humans and decided to write a story about it. it’s stupid. i love it.

-one time silver played Rogue Soul, Rogue Soul 2, Swords and Souls and Swords and Souls: Neverseen and got attached to the main characters and decided to write a story about it. it’s stupid. i hate it.

-Be me, bored as hell during the pandemic so you decide to make a gacha story. abandon said gacha story. two years later you find screenshots in your google drive and say “hah that’s cringe.” return one year later and say “no wait this is actually banging if i make some adjustments”

maybe more stories that i buried deep somewhere and can’t remember right now

[gay-otlc]

Not Alone

Wylie talks to Tam and realizes he's not alone in being aromantic.

ao3

Wylie hadn’t expected to be interrupted. Glimmer is in her bedroom, probably asleep, and the twins are in theirs. His dads are still out on their date. So Wylie has taken this opportunity to drink an unwise amount of coffee and start on that Team Valiant paperwork he’s been avoiding all week. It’s not fun.

Why did he even decide to work for the council? He hates the council. And he hates paperwork.

So he hadn’t expected to be interrupted, but Tam’s presence is a very welcome interruption.

It is the middle of the night, though, which is kind of concerning. He studies Tam’s expression. “You okay? Nightmares?”

Tam huffs. “I’d almost prefer the nightmares at this point. At least then I’d be able to get some sleep. Linh has been on a call with her girlfriends for like, two hours, and they won’t shut up. She’s so annoying. Linh is so annoying when it comes to those three.” Tam pauses for a moment, and then sighs heavily. “I’m kind of jealous that she has… that. A relationship.”

This is a topic that Wylie is highly unqualified to give advice about. “You don’t… is there someone you wish you had that with?”

“No, there’s no one I’m interested in.” Wylie exhales in relief. He did not want to hear Tam talk about a crush. “There never has been. I honestly don’t think there ever will be.”

“Oh!” 

The surprise is clear in Wylie's voice; he hasn’t known anyone like him before. Hadn’t known there were other people like him. But Tam must have interpreted his surprise as rejection rather than excitement, because his expression darkens. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he mutters.

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Wylie says, and it’s almost laughable how firmly he believes that to be true about Tam, when he still can’t quite believe it about himself. 

Tam stares at the floor. “I- I hate that I’m proving people right. The people who think I’m broken because I’m a twin and the people who think I’m evil and heartless because I’m a Shade. I don’t want them to be right, but-”

“They aren’t! Don’t say that about yourself. You’re not broken, you’re just… different.” Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite. “And you’re not heartless. You care about people so much. You joined the fucking Neverseen to protect Linh, of course you’re not heartless. You don’t need to be able to fall in love to be a good person, Tam.”

He’s silent for a while. Wylie wonders if he’s overstepped. But finally, barely audible, Tam says “I. Um. Thanks.”

Wylie grins at him, relieved that his words had been helpful. “Of course. No one’s allowed to talk shit about my brother.”

My brother.

He doesn’t really think about it, just says it casually. It’s taken a while for the two of them to feel like family; they’d gotten off to a somewhat rocky start, between Tam’s reluctance to trust people who aren’t Linh and Wylie’s reluctance to get close to anyone in case he loses them too. But Tam trusts him now- at least, Wylie hopes he does- and Wylie has gotten close to him, and Tam’s his brother.

Hopefully saying it out loud hasn’t made Tam uncomfortable.

Tam freezes, and Wylie immediately regrets it. But then he smiles and rolls his eyes, affectionate. “I can talk shit about myself if I want.”

“Nope. You can’t. I make the rules.”

Tam sticks his tongue out, and Wylie laughs and wraps an arm around his shoulders. They sit in silence for a while, and Wylie thinks about everything he told Tam.

He doesn’t doubt it at all. Tam doesn’t need to fall in love to be a good person. 

And, he supposes, he doesn’t either, but that’s harder to believe.

A voice that sounds suspiciously like his dad’s fills his head; Wylie, stop being so hard on yourself. You need to give yourself with the same kindness you give to everyone else.

It’s very annoying, but his Inner Tiergan is right; he needs to give himself the same kindness he’s giving Tam.

Tam’s not broken for this, and neither is he.

“I’m like you,” Wylie says, breaking the silence. He’s surprised at how easily the words slip out. He hasn’t talked about this with anyone else, always shrugging off his friends’ questions about match lists and never raising the subject with his dads. They’ve always known better than to pressure Wylie about relationships, so it’s just… never come up, aside from the time Tiergan stumbled through a horribly awkward sex talk that left them both wishing for the floor to swallow them. 

He’s never told anyone before, but he knows Tam will understand, and he wants to be honest with his brother. Plus, it had helped Wylie to know he wasn’t alone in this. Maybe it’ll help Tam too.

“You are?”

Wylie nods. “Yeah. I know people are usually happy with a partner, but I don’t think I would be. I’ve never found anyone I felt that way about.”

“You never mentioned.”

Maybe he should have. Maybe if he’d said something, Tam would have known sooner that he wasn’t broken. “I was- I didn’t know how to talk about it. You’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Why me?”

“Before today, I thought I was the only person like this. I guess I’m not.”

“I thought I was the only one too,” Tam admits. “I’m glad I’m not.”

Maybe it’s good that Wylie’s like this. It did give him something to bond with his brother over. And like he told Tam, he doesn’t think he’d be happy with a partner, anyway.

He’s happy with his family.

That’s enough.

[cecebookworm]

Anyway, I finished Everblaze like three days ago but then I had to process a few theories and reread the information bit of Unlocked so this is technically late. But besides all that, which will be coming on a “half way there” wrap up style post after Lodestar, here are my thoughts after my Everblaze reread!

NOTE: I will be going back to my previous KOLTC reread thoughts and adding this as well because I forgot to but SPOILERS! I will be discussing everything I felt/noticed regardless of whether certain things were revealed in this book or in later books. So if you haven’t read the whole series I wouldn’t recommend this. (And if you don’t care then go off)

- I feel like this books strength is that when it starts it doesn’t stop. From Fintan’s healing onward it’s just bam bam bam with action or drama or mystery.

- Sophie is so iconic in this book. The Blackswan told her no and then she said, “UNO REVERSE!”

- Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeffffffffffffffffffffffffffeeeeeeeeee He hurts me in this book. Like look, it gets worse. We’ve all witnessed Neverseen Keefe, Legacy Keefe, UNLOCKED KEEFE! *shudders* But this is his early on set trauma pain, and I hate it.

- Fitz is actually nice in this book. Yes he has a lot to make up for after Exile, but I found his care for Sophie amid everyone detesting over the healing extremely charming and sweet.

- B I A N A !!!!!! Finally, after two books of being absolutely horrible she can have her icon arc. I love her in this book. I mean, the scene where Edaline gives some of Jolie’s old dresses to Biana rather than Sophie brings me some, shall we say, pain. But, that was unintentional on all fronts so it’s fineeeee. Plus Biana going bop bop to Gisela on Everest is a personal favorite moment of hers for me in the whole series.

- Oh Dex, where do I begin… mannnnnnnn, that circlet plot still annoys me to this day. I mean seriously, Dex? Your father is talentless and you’ve SEEN first hand how poorly people treat him over it but you’ll subjugate someone else to that WILLINGLY? For shame.

- I always wonder what his family thought in this moment. Specficlly, Juline. While we don’t know that she’s in the Black Swan at this point in the series, nor do we even meet Squall yet, I can’t help but wonder how she felt about witnessing this. Given that she’s in the collective, I doubt she was even happy that Dex was working with the council to create weapons, and then she had to witness Emery swear that anyone associated with Black Swan would be hunted down (aka her, lmao), AND THEN, she had to witness Sophie (the Moonlark) literally be nerfed in-front of the nation. Yikes.

- Generally speaking, the circlet plot is still really messed up. I would argue it’s one of the worst things the council present in the series did. Regardless of how many people perceived Sophie to be a danger to society, considering the circlets first version left her litteraly unconscious, then it’s second attempt left her physically and mentally weak, I would argue that’s torture to one of your citizens. But oh well. This is the council we’re talking about so are we really surprised?

- Can we talk about all of the non-council adults in that scene? Oh my god, we all know how protective Grady is of her, but seeing protective Edaline, Tiegran, and Elwin is so legendary.

- Grady in this book is double the pain. Like he was going through it in Exile, but that’s honestly worsened in this book. While his blame shifts from himself/The Black Swan, it immediately goes to the mysterious pyrokinetic (aka Brant) who he KNOWS killed Jolie and tortured Sophie during her kidnapping. At that point, he’s suffering from the fact that both his daughters suffered at the hands of the same person but he doesn’t know who it is. Then it’s revealed to be Brant, aka the person him and Edaline have been taking care of like a son for the past sixteen freaking years. WHEN I SAY THIS SERIES HURTS! I MEAN IT HURTS!

- That whole sequence is still sooooooo good. Grady’s rage, Sophie’s protectiveness, Brants mania. MY GOD! (Then there’s that really really really messed up line where Brant basically says he’ll kill Sophie but leave Grady alive basically just to make Grady suffer even more is still probably one of the most horrible throw away lines in this series. And that’s saying something)

- Silveny’s role in this book will forever pain. Not as much as in Flashback but close.

- The whole aromark subplot makes no sense to me as a student currently in biology. This is my favorite series of all times, and yes, it is fantasy, but I don’t think Shannon Messenger entirely understands what an enzyme is…

- The Fintan healing scene still pains me to this day. Especially when you find out Kenric kind of knew he probably wasn’t gonna make it. Plus those scenes are just so well written.

- Kenric is still a character that baffles me, something we’ll touch on further when I get to my rereads of Unlocked and Stellarlune. I always find myself wondering if he GENUINELY cared for Sophie. His constant gentle teasings when he’s around her, the fact that he’s the councilor with her during her second inflicting session after her really horrible first one, you get the gist. Did he genuinely care for her and see her as a symbol of hope? Or is it simply that he looks at her and sees Oralie’s daughter? I doubt we’ll ever get the full answer to this given that he’s dead as of this book, but it’s still something to consider.

- Okay, here’s where my notes come in. FIRST NOTE! Page 89, and this one isn’t about future theories or anything, I just find it really interesting that one of the poems Brant writes to Jolie is both an ode to her an ode to fire. Again, at the end of this book we know WHY, he’s a pyrokinetic blah blah blah. I just never noticed.

- Pages 156-158 are both sad and cute. Seeing Sophie try to comfort Keefe about needing more of his skin melted off pains me. Worsened by when he’s later like, “My mom actually seemed like she cared about me this time.” (Not verbatim) PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAINNNNNNNNN!

- Page 189. Here begins cognates Sophie Foster and Fitzroy Vacker. From here on out dear Keepers, take a shot of Lushberry Juice.

- HERE WE HAVE A MADDDDD SKIP: 324-325. I’m sorry, but I could really use some somnalene. My restless anxious can’t sleep ass really needs somnalene. Why can’t this exist irl?

- Page 409. This is something that just, bothers me. Keefe says, “Though of course my mom told me I fastened it to loosely and insisted I repin it. Twice.” (Verbatim) So like, Gisela is 100% a horrible person who just didn’t want Keefe to lose the pin because that would mean they couldn’t find them. I HATE HER! *angry pillow punching*

- Page 482. Emery calling Sophie, “Not Normal” is so shitty. I don’t care if she technically isn’t. Shamming a thirteen year old in front of the world before maiming her? NOT COOL MAN!

- Chapters 43-44. Peak Sophie dumbassery. “Read the ogre kings mind!” Her dumb dumb brain said. “It won’t be that bad!” Her dumb dumb brain said.

- It went bad

Anyway, Everblaze was fun. But most of the mysteries presented here have been solved. The next book, Neverseen on the other hand, well, that’s just getting started isn’t it?

(I’m so melodramatic sometimes lmao)

[myfairkatiecat]

Unraveled was a breath of fresh air after the end of stellarlune.

Don’t get me wrong. I loved the sweet little kiss scene. I think they deserved something like that. But it also felt almost too perfect. Sokeefe is messy. It always has been. There’s parts of it that are even unhealthy, which shouldn’t be surprising when you consider the amount of trauma these kids are withstanding on a day to day basis. That’s what sokeefe IS.

The kiss scene was great and I loved it. But the fact that he’s keeping these ENORMOUS secrets from her while they start out on their cute little journey, professing their love for each other and sharing a little kiss in a garden? THAT IS SOKEEFE. That is what sokeefe has always been. That’s neverseen sokeefe, her doing everything in her power to help him and him pining after her while planning to join the neverseen and steal the caches. That’s lodestar sokeefe, keefe trying his reckless plan and Sophie just wanting him to come home. All their moments occur telepathically, and there’s this tension there. That’s legacy sokeefe, with the guy that ran off the loamnore after convincing everyone that he would do as he was told this time, and the girl that didn’t even waste time being mad at him, too focused on trying to make sure he was okay, inventing a new teleportation method to get him out of there, him relying on her like a lifeline as he fades out of consciousness. That’s unlocked sokeefe, Keefe trying to stay far away from Sophie for their protection and still missing her terribly, Sophie being so worried about him and so frustrated with him, ending with him running off AGAIN. And now, thanks to unraveled, that’s stellarlune sokeefe, Sophie getting Keefe back and everything being perfect and happy and wonderful between the two of them except it really, really isn’t and Sophie just doesn’t realize it.

This is sokeefe in its natural form. Always has been and always will be our ship. So here I am, kicking my feet and giggling <3

UNRAVELED SPOILERS- THE WHOLE BOOK

i’m actually terrified about sophie in the next book. like i just read end of stellarlune straight after unraveled and the amount of stuff he’s keeping from her

- alvar. that will hit hard and hurt. like really hurt

- eleanor

- his father and the secret cabin etc

- his abilities

and i know ur gonna be like sophie? imagine fitz and biana but just imagine sophie for a minute. this is her brand new boyfriend that just ran away from her after he said he wouldn’t

[bookwyrminspiration]

Prompt: “Jeez, I don’t even wanna know how you got that battle wound there; sit down and let me fix it up, won’t you?“ for Sophie and Tam! (this one is platonic)

for the lovely @xanadaus, the first of the several dialogue prompts I'm working on :)

-word count: 3.2k

-warnings: injury, blood, as expected of the prompt

“As my charge, your safety is my utmost responsibility, and that cut should take priority over all else right now. I thought we agreed we would take you to see Elwin--not here.” Sandor’s squeaky voice growled out a few goblinese curses as he looked around, eyeing the grasses swaying in the night breeze as though they, personally, contained all the evil in the world and needed slaying.

Sophie’s focus was elsewhere. Namely, the infinite expanse of stone stairs before her, the absolute absurdity of a workout that stood between her and Solreef’s only entrance. She would’ve teleported to the top of the steps if she’d had any sense of reasoning, but her mind fogged and lagged, the pounding in her head unbearable. At least the moonlight wasn’t bright enough to make her headache any worse.

“Elwin can be next,” she assured him, already exhausted as she started up the first steps. “This is just…important. And they probably have first aid supplies inside, so you can stop your bodyguard whining and do…whatever it is you do when you set up security.”

It dawned on her that she had no clue what “security” entailed, but it was the least of her concerns at the moment. Sandor could bitch and moan all he wanted, but he’d still have to follow after her. He couldn’t leave without her, and right now, she needed to be here.

Solreef.

Her mind reeled, thoughts wandering through fog and hazes as she climbed, adrenaline from mere minutes ago still pushing her through the worst of it, through the stinging pain.

Sandor had given her a bit of cloth to hold to the wound, and she pressed it tight to the seeping cut in her bicep, ignoring how every step jolted it as they climbed. Heat spread from the area, hot blood rushing to escape the confines of her skin.

It could’ve been worse, she reminded herself. Could’ve been her leg, could’ve been a bullet, could’ve been a stab.

Just a neat slash across the bicep, that’s all. Not enough to send her running to Elwin just yet, not until she’d gotten to see Tiergan.

She just hoped he’d forgive her for waking him up in the middle of the night.

It’s not like she got to plan when she was attacked and the Neverseen let slip a new, vital piece of information. It’s not like she planned for it to concern Prentice.

“Would you like me to carry you the rest of the way? You’re getting paler--another excellent reason we should save this for later and go to Elwin.” Sandor’s hands couldn’t be tighter on the hilt of his sword, and if she hadn’t been there herself she wouldn’t have even known they’d just been involved in an impromptu attack except for his own leaking cuts. He didn’t react to them at all, stupid goblins with their stupid high pain tolerance.

Sophie sighed, refusing to admit how nice painkillers sounded right then. “We’re basically there already, so there’s no point.”

Just a dozen more steps and they crested the top, her knees wobbling as her head spun, the oxygen in the air failing to ease the woozy pounding in her head as it filled her lungs. Had the air gotten thinner up here?

   “I can think of several points still, and if you grow any paler I will be hailing Elwin on my own to come see you right this instant,” he argued back, glaring at her. Even with the exasperation, she knew he meant well. Knew he wanted what was best for her--though sometimes they disagreed on what that was.

   Because right now she wouldn’t be able to rest easy until she’d relayed what she’d learned, until she’d gotten Tiergan right in front of her and talked him through everything. And then he could decide what to do next, how it would affect Prentice.

   “It’s fine!” Her voice rang louder than she meant, and she cleared her throat.

   Sweat beaded on her face, her skin sticky to the touch as her hair caught in it, fingers pallid and shaky as she raised her hand, releasing the pressure on her cut for a moment as she reached for the door.

   Before she could rap her knuckles against it or press the doorbell, it swung open and she blinked, putting her hand back on her injury.

   Tam blinked back, looking between her and Sandor. “...Hi.”

   His eyes narrowed as he took in her face, and she didn’t want to know what she looked like at the moment, only wanted to not be standing anymore, to sit down and take a nap until the world ended and then keep on napping.

   But she had something to do first.

   “Hi,” she echoed, and they all ignored that it took her a few times to get through the word, tongue dry as it sucked to the roof of her mouth, the chill air only exacerbating the problem. “I need to…to talk to Tiergan?”

   Sandor sniffed at the air, suspicion crawling along his features as he scowled. Something nearby had caught his attention, and he drew a small dagger as he turned away from the door. “I expect you to make this quick, Sophie. I’ll be scouting the perimeter to ensure nothing is out of place before I come to get you--and then we are heading directly to Elwin.”

   He waited until she said Sure, sure, before he stalked off, Tam stepping out of the way so she could enter, the sweeping doors of Solreef shutting with a muffled click as he locked them behind them.

   It took her mind a moment to figure out what to do next, eyes traveling along the walls as she tried to remember if she even knew where Tiergan’s room was. She’d seen his office, but doubted he’d be there after midnight.

   Her grip had loosened on her cut, and she winced as she readjusted, keeping the pressure firm as she could with her shaky hands.

   “Where…?” she started, trailing off as she turned to look at Tam, who had a bowl of some mysterious late night snack in his hand he was trying to figure out where to set before he gave up, resolving to hold it.

   He frowned. “You don’t look so good.”

   “I had no idea,” she mumbled.

   “Do you need to like…sit down…or something? He asked, looking around the foyer, which was notably lacking when it came to chairs. Unless you wanted to sit on a rather spikey plant Tiergan had placed in the corner, but she’d pass.

   “Nah, I’m so good,” Sophie told him. “Just need Tiergan. Do you…where is he?” She started to take a few steps into the house, peering through doorways and into an adjacent living room, a book left open on a table before it, but wobbled hard enough she had to stop to catch her breath.

   “Woah, okay,” Tam said, catching her good arm. “Seriously, Sophie. You’re going to fall over--can whatever it is wait? How important is…whatever you’re here for?”

   “Very important,” she managed, but her eyelids were fluttering shut, and not even several deep breaths could clear her mind. “Neverseen. I need to talk to him.”

   Tam made a noise of surprise as she--against the orders she was giving her body--leaned against him as her legs started to give out, fingers holding on for dear life to keep the pressure on that wound, the cut ripped through her skin as it spilled her life onto the floor.

   Holding her up more than she was holding herself up, something shifted in him. Any hint of that surprised, awkward Tam who’d opened the door turned into resolute command as his expression hardened.

His eyes scanned her over quickly and he shook his head, huffed out a breath. “Jeez, I don’t even wanna know how you got that battle wound there; sit down and let me fix it up, won’t you?“

   She only hummed in response as he led her into the adjacent living room she’d been peering into, scanning it as though Tiergan’s sleeping form would, for some reason, be sprawled out on the couch when he was in his own home with his own bedroom.

   He half-set, half-threw his bowl onto the table beside the book so he could put Sophie down on the couch beside it, the curtains across drawn in just the right way that moonlight spilled in a perfect section over her body, no more, no less, a spotlight on her as she tried to focus on her breathing.

   Seriously, it was just a stupid little cut--why was her body being so whiney about it? Especially when she needed to talk to Tiergan, especially when she was only rooms away from passing along the crucial thing she’d learned when the Neverseen had decided to pop into her life in the middle of the night.

   “Alright, stay right here. I promise I won’t be more than a minute, the emergency kit is upstairs. Keep the pressure on that.”

   “You got it,” she said, but the words dragged and dragged from her mouth, tongue thick and starchy.

   With each pulse of her heart thumping laboriously in her chest, she could feel it prickling at the hot edges of the cut, more of her life soaking that cloth practically glued to her skin with blood.

   She counted them, the double noises of the muscle contractions that kept her alive, reaching seventy-eight before Tam’s hurried footsteps skidded outside the room and he rounded the corner, a fabric box of a bag in hand.

   “Oh, good. You’re not dead.” He unzipped the bag, the clink of vials greeting her as he took a seat next to her, on the side with her injury.

   Sophie snorted. “You wish.”

   She could practically hear his brows grinding together, though she wasn’t looking. There was a particular scuff on the otherwise perfect floor she’d found, and staring at it was way better than trying to move. When she moved, so did the room.

   “Give me your arm,” was all he said, and she dropped the cloth and held it out closer to him.

   “If I sit still and be good, will you get Tiergan?”

   He scrunched up his nose. “You’re clearly out of it, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. But sure. What do I care? I’ll get him--if you wait for me to clean this up.”

   Sophie debated arguing with him further, but he could be more stubborn than even she was at times, and resisting would’ve taken precious energy she needed to save to actually explain everything to Tiergan.

   “Fine. Deal,” she ended up saying, letting her eyes fall closed and her head thump against the wall behind her.

   Tam pressed something into her good hand. “That should help with the pain.”

   The cool glass of the vial had her near weeping from the feeling against her hot, somehow still clammy fingers as she opened her eyes just enough to pull the cork out with her teeth, downing the contents all at once.

   Thick syrup coated her tongue, and she sent a thanks to whichever elf had discovered how to make painkillers instantaneous--seriously, how did that work--as the throbbing heat in her arm faded to a buzz, then a whisper, then to complete emptiness where her bicep should’ve been.

   She couldn’t even feel a sliver of discomfort as Tam peeled away the soaked cloth, which had started to dry and cling to her skin. Nor could she tell when he cleaned the area, could only feel the icy shiver of it as it raised goosebumps on her arm, not even the sting of an antiseptic seeking through.

   Some of the fog drifted from her mind, and she could look around without her insides trying to escape her body, but the dizziness hadn’t faded.

   Tam saw her moving though, and dug around in the bag at his feet before placing another vial into her hand. The temperature wasn’t as shocking as the first time round, and she had enough sense of herself to actually process what was happening.

   “Should I be worried about whatever's in these?” she asked, holding the vial up and watching the moonlight reflect off the crisp edges of the shape. “You could be poisoning me and I’m just drinking them, completely oblivious.”

   Tam snorted, but paused. “It’s for blood-regeneration. Because you’ve clearly lost track of yours.”

   “I know exactly where all my blood is,” she told him, but pulled the cork out anyway, hoping this one would get rid of the rest of the haze. It went down smoother, more watery, and she couldn’t help comparing it to the very fluid it was supposed to regenerate as she set that vial down next to the first one.

   “Maybe,” he conceded. “But it’s not supposed to be on the couch.”

   “I’m bleeding on your couch?”

   She jerked forward, messing up whatever wrapping Tam was putting on her bicep, a startled noise escaping him.

   Sure enough, right between her and Tam was a pool of blood soaked into the couch cushion, wet, warm, and definitely looking like it was going to stain.

   “Aw, shit. I didn’t mean to--”

   “Will you sit still?” he grumbled, pulling her back so he could readjust the wrapping. “No one will care about the blood. We’ll wash it out. Now can I finish this so you’ll stop bleeding out and can talk to Tiergan? Wasn’t that the whole reason you’re here?”

   He rolled his eyes as hers widened, mollified.

   The seconds ticked by as she came up empty with a retort, so she stuck out her tongue at him instead.

   He made a face back, but otherwise didn’t respond as he carefully and securely tied off his work. Neat and clean, enough so she could’ve fooled anyone into thinking it was Elwin’s handiwork.

   “There. Now you just need to be gentle with yourself--not that you know how to, but if you did, that’s what you’d need to do,” he told her, wiping her blood from his hands with a clean cloth.

   “You need to be gentle,” she responded on instinct, years of listening to her little sister’s petty insults and retorts spurring her tongue forward.

   She held up her arm, twisting to look at the bandage, fingering the edges and poking at the layers, smiling slightly when it didn’t budge. Her smile deepened when she realized her mind was present enough to actually make those kinds of observations, noting the texture of the cloth, the warmth of her skin, assessing its tightness and how it felt to move her arm around.

   Clearly, he hadn’t poisoned her, because those elixirs had blown the fog blearying her mind straight out of it; she could think again. She hadn’t realized how fatigued and slow her thoughts had become until they started racing again, which would be a huge help for why she was here.

   “Thank you,” she finally said, letting her hands fall into her lap. “I, um, clearly needed that. Where’d you even learn how to do this? I was just going to call Elwin.”

   Tam had been about to get up, presumably to go find Tiergan, since she’d been oh so compliant and good and had let him patch her up.

   He paused instead, and shrugged, looking off somewhere she couldn’t follow. “In the Neutral Territories, you either learned or you didn’t get better. You saw the medical tent,” he added, and she nodded.

   Horribly understocked and underfunded, worn away well past its years, the Boobrie Dude--she’d have to remember to ask for his real name someday--had only been able to use what he could make from his spoils found in the forest. He’d found various natural materials he could identify and put to use. But they weren’t exactly up to elven standards, and definitely not good if anything serious ever happened.

   “Well…thank you. I’m sorry you had to learn that way.”

   “It’s useful, sometimes. Like when people show up bleeding on your doorstep from mysterious injuries at one in the morning.”

   A laugh escaped before she could help herself as she rubbed at her eyes, wishing she was a normal teenager who could be asleep at an hour like this without worrying for her life. Or for everyone else’s. Like Prentice’s.

   But she wasn’t, and that’s why she’d come.

   “Got it. I will not show up bleeding from mysterious injuries on your doorstep at one in the morning again.”

   Tam made a face.

   “I will show up at two in the morning instead.”

   “You have to sleep at some point, Sophie,” he chastised, shaking his head at her, but it didn’t hide how the corners of his lips turned up for a moment.

   Sophie snorted. “Says the guy who was awake at one in the morning…reading?” she hazarded, sticking out her chin to point at the novel still open on the table. She’d spotted it when looking around, but had been too woozy to look at it any further as he’d patched her up.

   Now, however, she could see it had been left open to page 273--a number she could, to her surprise, actually read. Upon closer inspection, the words appeared to be written in gnomish, though it didn’t look like some of the other gnomish works she’d seen, journals kept in colored ink, bound and decorated with petals, pages stained different muted hues of whatever flora had gone into making it.

   Tam scratched at the back of his neck, looking tempted to close it. “Tiergan thought I’d like it, so…why not? Oh, right, Tiergan.” He interrupted himself, pushing to his feet with a start as he moved towards the doorway.

   On his way, he grabbed a handful of whatever was in the snack bowl he’d left beside the book. Given how long she’d been there, you’d think she’d recognize more of the food, but the elves were always pulling out new, random snacks with the most ridiculous names possible.

   Ripplefluffs. Fluffcreams. Indigoobers.

   She shook her head, listening to Tam’s fading footsteps as he went to find Tiergan for her as she scooted closer to the table to take a closer peek at whatever the book was about.

   She got the vague sense it was some sort of mythology, but she didn’t want to turn the page to confirm her suspicions and lose his spot.

   Instead, she grabbed a piece of whatever wafer-shaped thing he was munching on and popped it in her mouth as she waited.

   Books and snacks in the middle of the night? That was definitely something she could get behind.

   Maybe one day, one day when they had the time and peace, she and Tam could read together in the middle of the night, moonlight their only company as the time ticked past, bowls of snacks and treats--hopefully something recognizable--between them in the silence.

   She’d like that, she thought. It’d been all too long since she’d last read for fun.

   Yeah, once this was over, once she’d talked to Tiergan, once she’d seen Elwin, she’d ask him.  

   One day.

[svtellify]

the star only rises at nightfall 💫 : dissecting my kotlc playlist

playlist can be found here! 

1. stay awake by skott

“i need it to hurt, need it to burn, need it to burn. once, we had a dream. we once had a dream. this dream was all that i could see.” 

despite how pretty this song is, it’s for the neverseen. i think the lyrics above in particular suit fintan, although it honestly matches anyone in the neverseen. they’re unhinged and see their vision as the be all end all - a dream that’s all they can see.

2. set myself on fire by taeyeon

“i'll warm up your cold heart; i'm gonna set myself on fire.”

tbh, i chose this song for the title and the chorus (“even if i smile brighter, i’m still sad.”) and the general vibes of the song, but i think the line above really suits the self sacrificing vibe that sophie and her friends have for each other - it doesn’t have to be just the romantic pairings - they all love each other.

3. gilded lily by cults

“but with my double vision, how was i supposed to see the way? haven’t i given enough?”

this one’s pretty self explanatory, i think. the song fits all of the main characters, from sophie and keefe and fitz to mr. forkle and oralie and grady. also, this line reminds me of keefe especially - “always the fool with the slowest heart.”

4. astronomical by svrcina

“there’s something inside of me i can’t fight. forces of gravity taking me, taking me. weightlessness forsaking me, this pull is astronomical. can anybody stop me?”

this was one of the first artists i associated with kotlc when i first started reading the series. it was only natural that they released a song that suited sophie’s drive and endless desire to change the lost cities for the better.

5. winterfall by dpr ian

“now, i get what you mean when it hurts you. now, i get what you mean when you want to feel. oh, i get it. no, i get it. [...] you’re the only one who made me feel like something.”

keefe sencen, y’all. could apply to his feelings for sophie or the way his mom just continues to use him with no regard for his personal being. 

6. running by trafton

“truth is, i’ve been wishing in your name right from the start. twice a day, and lately on a star. i know you’ve been running, running, running, running, running from yourself.”

this one’s keefe again (can you tell he’s my favorite character?) but maybe a little more from an outsider point of view, watching him cope with what’s thrown at him. also suits early sophie struggling to accept whether the black swan was good or not, or whether a band of murderers made her.

7. a place you’ve been by trafton

“nothing, like that won't get me started up again. my homeland, a place you've been.”

grady and edaline towards brant. the ultimate - and best written betrayal.

8. gone by trafton

“but you're gone and i'm lost. come tell me i'm wrong and please don't be gone.”

when everyone thought they lost alden in exile. the black swan when they did lose prentice. mr. forkle to his brother.

9. dead flowers by rivals

“i see the world in a new light. dead flowers in my hair - i finally don’t care! i’ve embraced the rain and i’m happy now.”

an edaline anthem if i’ve ever heard it. that moment where she overcomes her grief. also suits: biana, della, sophie, and wylie

10. don’t let me sleep by stella jones + trafton

“don’t let me sleep. i know what it means: my dreams will all come true - i’ll wake up without you.”

neverseen keefe and sophie type beat anyone?

11. half by pvris

keefe, sophie: “some days, i feel everything. others are numbing.” fitz, linh: “can never find the in between - it’s all or nothing.” dex, biana, tam: “i never never never said i wanted. never wanted to be here now.”

i fully believe this song can relate to anyone in kotlc, depending on the verse.

12. bubble by lennon stella

“up high in my bubble i’m floating. [...] i climb into my bubble; it can’t be broken.”

that one scene on the nightfall cover with linh, sophie, and keefe. but also sophie emotionally breaking down and seeking out that safe place. 

13. supernova by rivals

“these stars are clusters. a waste of time that i won’t miss.”

sandor never misses. the song, though, reminds me of the elves waking up to how broken their society really is. 

14. brainstorm by alexander 23

“how bad’s the weather in your head? wish you could stay with me instead.”

such a sokefe song. i can practically picture that scene where keefe bends down to see how sophie is doing after the forkle twin reveal.

15. emotional machine by marina 

“i’m a machine - an emotional being, since i was a teen.”

fitz vacker, y’all.

16. change your mind by said the sky + vancouver sleep clinic

“if i could only turn back time, i would bring us back to life. if i could only change your mind, we’d stay young and never die.”

forkle to his twin. oralie to kenric. grady and edaline to jolie. and maybe even jolie to brant.

17. family line by conan gray

“oh, all that i did to try to undo it. all of my pain and all your excuses. i was a kid but i wasn’t clueless (someone who loves you wouldn’t do this!) all of my past, i tried to erase it. but now i see, would i even change it. might share a face and share a last name but (we are not the same!).”

i don’t even need to put the lyrics here for y’all to know this is about keefe and the sencens and tam and linh and the songs.

18. hall of fame by the script

“you can move a mountain, you can break rocks.”

gethen lol. but also an ode to the moonlark’s power.

19. infinity by jaymes young

“meet me at the bottom of the ocean where time is frozen - where all the universe is open.”

but also the vibes are v mysterious and suit the black swan in the early keeper books sonically (the black swan is not in love) ((this is actually bc i wrote a sokeefe fic inspired by this song))

20. marchin on by onerepublic

“there’s so many wars we fought. there’s so many things we’re not. but with what we have, i promise you that we’re marchin’ on.”

21. human by of monsters and men

“when the words weight heavy on the heart, i am lost and led only by the stars.”

lightleaping by the forbidden stars. also a song from when i first started reading the series.

22. elephant ears by unlike pluto

“say your thoughts when you think i won’t hear, but nothing gets by these elephant ears.”

23. wolves without teeth by of monsters and men

“oh, you’re feeding on my energy, i’m letting go of it - she wants it.”

a little like the push and pull of the water to linh, or how enhancing an ability would feel.

24. blue by taeyeon

“you’re my blue - just like always.”

ik the color is green for kotlc and grieving, but blue is in honor of someone close to the singer who passed away, so i thought the song was fitting. especially since all elves have blue eyes, it was another connection.

25. lifted by birdy

“won’t you lead the way through my darker days? keep them softly spoken.”

26. you’re the sea by andrew belle

“each time we leave, i think about it. what if we don’t come back? if all of this is chasing the wind, why is my head like that? am i to believe? am i to admit? that you’re the sea.”

keefe to sophie, for the latter lyrics, but also just the general fear they all face every time they have a near death experience.

27. purple circles by jades goudrealt

“can’t control my thoughts when i’m out of my mind. it’s lonely but it’s art. i guess i’ll be fine.”

sophie foster, y’all.

28. alone in a battlefield by nineteen90 + lilu 

“one round and it’s done. standing alone in a battlefield.”

29. lavenders by rivals

“all i smell are lavenders, as the world burns down, around me.”

that scene where kenric dies. idk if the tower was actually purple but i’ve been picturing it to be purple, and they claim that everblaze smells different from other fires. 

30. insane by neykid

“when i lie awake, i hear them call my name. am i crazy?”

another neverseen anthem. alvar/ruy ignis type beat. also suits lady gisela.

31. what you’re made of by lindsey stirling + kiesza

“lost yourself inside a broken mirror ‘cause that’s what you fear.”

the events of lodestar, perhaps.

32. nightshift by mothica

“then i go nightshift, like this. don’t cross me ‘cause i don’t miss.”

grizel. lady gisela. also edaline. and della. and juline. and all the powerful women of kotlc.

33. fear by one republic

“when we were children, we’d say that we don’t know the meaning of fear.”

34. trouble by coldplay

“so, i turned to run. all the stupid things i’d done - and i never meant to cause you trouble. i never meant to do you wrong. i, well, if i ever caused you trouble. oh no, i never meant to do you harm.”

keefe to sophie. also mr. forkle to sophie. and sophie to her friends. juline to the dizznees.

35. pyrokinesis by 7chariot

“we could set the world on fire using only our minds. pyrokinesis, we hurt each other without even trying.”

36. star by mothica

“you’re gonna be a star girl, don’t you know? burn so bright and beautiful. how far girl, will you go? climbing up that pedestal. to be so tragic and rare, they all stop and stare, looking right through you.”

biana vacker, y’all. also sophie and marella.

37. moonlit by rivals

“it’s me against the rest. i’m reaching through the darkness - is anybody out there?”

tam and linh song, y’all.

38. fire in my bones by fleurie

“pulses push the limits, testing my resistance.”

dex dizznee, y’all.

39. dangerous by rivals

“these demons knock on my door but they don’t dare come in ‘cause they know what’s best for them. they wanna rip out my soul but they can’t break skin cause i, i know i’m dangerous.”

sophie! freaking! foster!

40. r.e.m.

“and i don’t want to push you away but i still relive every moment, hoping you don’t notice, you just tripped a red light in my mind.”

keefe to his past memories of his mom. sophie to the black swan’s erased/hidden memories. fitz and biana to alvar. grady and edaline to brant.

41. my blood by ellie goulding

“and god knows i’m not dying but i bleed now. and god knows it’s the only way to heal now.”

42. conspiracy of silence by the swoons

“don’t know where you side. there’s blood in your eyes. will you weapon your skin, feed the monster within? or put up a fight?”

keefe about his mother’s legacy. the vackers on their legacy. grady with his ability. sophie with her abilities and physically fighting.

43. wildwood by fleurie

“deep sleep battles underneath the moon.”

keefe to sophie lol (also bc of the colonies!!)

[jeannefostergoriot]

I Can Do It With A Broken Heart x Marella Redek.

Reminder of who Marella is for understanding: she’s quite popular at Foxfire, even though pretty secret. Presented as someone that knows everything that’s going on, and kinda rules the school. But with a quite difficult familial situation. Soo.

« I can read your mind, “She’s having the time of her life” »: she seems to have fun, always smiling at school and happy.

« There in her glittering prime, the light refracts sequin stars off her silhouette every night »: as a sort of princess, she shines. I get a bit the prom queen vibe from Marella tbh.

« I can show you lies »: Sophie has to be reminded a few times of Marella’s story. It doesn’t show.

« Cause I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit »: her problems, her mother’s mood swings, her father doesn’t seem very present, she made herself tough.

« They said “Babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and I did »: she did. We don’t remember half the time, we don’t see, she went into the war against Neverseen as nothing just cause she wanted to be useful.

« Lights, camera, bitch smile »: own the world, she repeats everyday before going to school.

« Even when you want to die »: even when it’s chaos at home, Caprise is in a bad state, even when Marella is worried, even when Marella is scared.

« He said he’d love me all his life, but that life was too short »: this is, for Marella, when she gets in an argument with her mother, I’m sure it happens, and she feels bad, and unloved.

« Breaking down I hit the floor »: I have this feeling, which you can argue, that it happens to her pretty regularly to just break down on bad days, cry in her room and unable to move.

« All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting “More!” »: it’s more everyday. School, being prom and rumors queen, helping her mother, learning to control her pyrokinesy, taking active part in the war.

« I was grinning like I’m winning, I was hitting my marks »: she is playing her role. We don’t see her much in the series before Stellarlune, but evertime we catch a glimpse of her, Sophie is admirative. So she is playing the role every time.

« Cause I can do it with a broken heart »: I say her heart is scattered. If not of romance. At least for her mother.

« I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthday, everyday ». Yeah I know elves don’t celebrate birthdays. But the idea of playing transform everyday in a party feels very Marella.

« I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me, like a plague » *looks towards lava cake and the fact that a non-acknowledging Fitz would avoid her*. But apart from that, she probably had to revisit her social circle when her Talent was activated, and some may have started to avoid her.

« I cry a lot but I’m so productive »: listen. Everyone in this group has a whole notebook of 2AM poetry/drawings/songs. Or piles of crafted things. Second, she probably goes to train every moment she feels bad. Therefore is productive.

« It’s an art »: she’s an art.

« You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart »: that’s the encouragement she gives herself everyday

« I can hold my breath, I’ve been doing it since he left »: been holding her breath forever, even more since she unlocked her Pyrokinesy.

« I keep finding his things his drawers, crucial evidence I didn’t imagine the whole thing » I dunno. Maybe about her role, her involvement with the black swan before book 9. Like. She was in the team. She had her talent activated. And then she disappeared for a good while. But she sets things on fire. She has training. So she didn’t imagine it.

« I’m sure I can pass this test ». Any bad day is just life playing yo-yo. Destiny testing. She can do it. That’s how she thinks.

« In stilettos for miles »: girl is swag and fashion. She wears the stilettos.

« He said he’d love me for all times, but that time was quite short »: as the « He said he’d love me all his life, but that life was too short », talks of her family, her mother.

« You know you’re god… And I’m good! Cause I’m miserable, and nobody even knows! »: since she convinced herself that’s how it works. And no one really sees she’s behind. She’s feeling less fine someday. And nobody knows.

[squishmallow36]

Keeper of the Lost Prepositions - Forty-one 

Word count: 2.2k

Tw: nothing major but lmk if i should add anything

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-fruity-frog @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @books-over-boys @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @cotyledon-tomentosa @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125

On Ao3 or below the cut!

Fitz Pov

    Before letting me in Sophie’s room, Sandor checks me for tracking devices, other than the ones he put in my clothes that Grizel did not realize were there. 

    She doesn’t exactly appreciate the fact that her boyfriend doesn’t trust her enough not to lose me somewhere in a field or not carry Neverseen trackers on me. 

    “Hey,” I say, walking into Sophie’s room and sitting on the bed across from her.

    “Hey,” she replies, smiling. 

    “What’ve you been doing?”

    “Losing my mind. You?”

    “Same, not going to lie.”

    “Telepath time? Or do you want to find a stupidly insane topic and waste a few hours of our lives?”

    “I’ve already wasted enough time before texting you,” I answer. 

    “What kind of Telepathic exercises were you thinking, then?”

    “The classic secret sharing one works pretty well for us. I just want to make sure I haven’t messed up our connection.”

    “Don’t be silly. If it’s messed up, it’s my fault.”

    No you didn’t, I’m tempted to say. But she’s so stubborn it won’t go anywhere.

    “Do you want to start with three out loud? And then test if I can get in?”

    I mentally cringe at the preposition and wait for her to nod before saying, “I’ll go first. I’ve been baking way too much and I’ve eaten more mallowmelt recently than I’m sure is healthy.”

    “I want some of that mallowmelt,” Sophie remarks. “No judgement, right?”

    “Of course.”

    “Because I’ve been stuck in here for so long because someone’s paranoid, I've finally had enough time to update my Solangelo fanfic on fanfiction.net from three years ago.”

    “Okay, I’m going to need some words defined.”

    “Solangelo is the name for the relationship between Nico Di Angelo and Will Solace from the Riordanverse, usually used in a romantic context. There’s a bunch of books, so no plot for you. That’d take forever. Fanfic is basically when a fan of a certain piece of media doesn’t have enough for their liking or doesn’t like what happened in the canon or was bored, so they take the characters and write their own story with them. Sometimes they can be in the same setting, sometimes not so much. We call that an AU, or alternate universe.”

    “Oh. Cool.”

    I’m starting to love learning about human things and asking a gazillion questions.

    “No judgement!”

    “Can I, uh, can I read it?”

    “Oh gosh, no, it’s terrible.”

    “Then why did you bother updating it and what does that even mean?”

    “It means adding new content, in the form of a new chapter, and I was bored. At this rate, I may end up rewriting it with ten times as much angst.”

    “How would one go about writing a fanfic?” 

    I notice Sophie’s bright red from embarrassment, which isn’t all that unexpected. 

    “How I do it, at least, is I let headcanons float around in my brain for a while, which can converge into an idea, which, if it’s persistent enough, can get written down as an idea in my WIP folder, where is will stay unless I go and write it out, but I’ve got enough WIPs that it won’t be. Before you ask, headcanons are little interpretations of the characters that I think make sense with the characters. If they’re widespread through a fandom, then they can be considered fanon. For example, most, if not all, of the Percy Jackson fandom has simply disowned the movies. And WIP stands for ‘work in progress.’”

    “Now I want to know who this Percy Jackson is.”

    Sophie sighs. “It’s a very long story and the last time I read anything canonical, Percy and his girlfriend, Annabeth, were left in Tartarus, and I should really find out what happened between that and Solangelo becoming canon. But there’s this camp of Demigods and then there’s monsters, and titans, and lots of other things, and the more I say, the more I’m going to have to explain. Welp.”

    “Do you mind if I ask what ‘canon’ is?”

    “That’s the least embarrassing thing you’ve asked me to clarify yet. Canon is the official content of the world. Anything contained in the books, movies, show’s episodes, et cetera, is considered canon.”

    “I don’t have any more questions to keep stalling, so I guess it’s my turn. I don’t know if this really counts because my Dad knows, but you don’t. I don’t just know entry level English. I was also taught a bit of Mandarin Chinese, Hindi, Spanish, Arabic, French, and Russian because we had no clue where you were, so my Dad just kept shoving more human languages into my brain with the hope that you’d have learned one of those while growing up. My poor seven year old brain. I’ve lost most of them, but I still remember my Russian swears.”

    “Ah, yes. The most important part of a language, other than ‘Where is the bathroom?’ But how’d a seven year old learn how to swear?”

    “We were searching for a long time and people kept telling me to go away the mean way. I mean, most places had basically the same reaction to me, but Russia’s so huge it stuck with me more, I guess.”

    “That’s interesting. Why hasn’t this come up earlier? It seems like an easy thing to admit compared to some other things, but, yes, I’ll count it.”

    Keefe’s a wanker, that’s why. 

    “Biana was being particularly annoying today and I accidentally switched to Spanish…”

    “Oops. My turn I guess. I also used to write fics for Destiel and I definitely wasn’t involved in the bisexual!Bella Twilight fandom. And also Klaine. I miss Klaine.”

    “What are these words?”

    “Ship names, mostly. Destiel is the ship name of Castiel and from the show Supernatural. Never seen it. Just read that many fics. Twilight’s...a fandom. That’s all I’m going to say. Books made into movies. Klaine is the ship name of and from Glee. It’s the one of these things that is actually canonical.”

    “Back to my turn.” I sigh. “Dex has successfully made me unable to unhear phrases or clauses or sentences or somethings--I don’t know the grammar well enough sorry--that end in a preposition, but he knows that, so…”

    “He might know that, but does he know that you have no clue what the correct rules are?”

    “No. But it’s still not the best secret I could’ve shared.”

    “Fine. A pathetic secret for a pathetic secret. I hid Amy’s karaoke machine before you took me here and she hasn’t gotten it back since to my knowledge. And the world is better for it.” 

    “That’s not a pathetic secret, it’s a useful one. Remind me to make sure Biana’s iPod gets lost.”

     ‘Lost’ is obviously contained within air quotes. 

    “How’d she manage to get an iPod?”

    “Dex is building them for everyone at this point. He built himself one when he was working on yours and now...Biana’s blasting everyone’s eardrums out. I think that was our third round, so Cognate test time?”

   “Okay. If you’re ready,” Sophie replies. 

    Lacing our fingers together, it takes somewhere in the range of several minutes of chanting It’s me before Sophie’s mind gives me that familiar tug. 

    She’s thinking about a uvula. 

    Always with the uvulas. 

    Oh, hey. I didn’t see you there. 

    Wow. I forgot how intense your mind is.

    Sorry. 

    It’s not your fault. I know I have to transmit super loud to get anything in there. I’m probably going to have a mild headache after this, that’s all. 

    Quiet down, brain, Sophie thinks. Can’t you see we have company? Behave. 

    I smile. 

    I guess we should continue sharing secrets. One time, I put green hair dye in Biana’s shampoo and blamed it on Keefe. To this day, she still believes he lied to her about it.

   That’s amazing. Now I have good blackmail.

    Nope. It’s part of the Cognate bond that I have to have full trust in you, and threatening to share my secrets isn’t good for that.

    Okay. Fine. Try not to tell anyone this, then.

    Five secrets each, which turns out to be about an hour later, it’s my turn again. 

    I’m running out of secrets. 

    Quietly, my least favorite little voice in my head tries, you could--.

    NOPE.

    I can feel Sophie’s confusion as more of an abstract thought than a verbal one. 

    Nope. Nope. Nope. That’s off limits. 

    What’s off limits? Sophie asks innocently. 

    Telling you would defeat the point, I snap. 

    Sophie mumbles something, and I ask, What?

    Nothing!

    It’s just tough for me because I can’t imagine sharing this one but at the same time we’re cognates and I have to tell you everything. 

    Do you want to call it good for today and do dumb friend things?

    I blink, breaking eye contact, and run my hands through my hair as soon as I get them untangled from Sophie’s.

    Sophie gives me Ella, but it does little to slow my racing thoughts trying to form a rudimentary pros and cons list. They don’t help the headache that started pounding at my temples a half-hour ago either. 

    “Just do what your gut is telling you to do,” Sophie suggests, rather unhelpfully if you ask me. 

    “My gut says it wants to be outside my body. So, no.”

    Sophie sighs, and I think the pros and cons chart has organized itself into a clear solution.

    Gathering my nonexistent courage, I force out, “I think I might be bisexual.”

    Sophie stops. 

    “Oh. Was not expecting that. Okay. I didn’t realize Elves could be, you know. I mean, it makes sense, but it’d never occurred to me.”

    “Me neither, as of like two weeks ago.”

    “That’s, uh...that’s pretty recent of you there.”

    I clarify, “That’s not when I started questioning. That was five days ago.”

    “Do you mind me asking who your bi awakening was?”

    “I’m not really ready for that much yet. But I’ll get there eventually.”

    “Makes sense. Can same-sex couples be on each other’s match lists or get married?”

    “Not to my knowledge. Again, I learned that not all people are straight two weeks ago, and that was my brother, so I was almost certain he’d lost his mind. And before you fixate on the conclusion that if I were to date a guy, it’d inevitably be a Bad Match, so there’s no way I’m going to do that.”

    “Well, why not?” Sophie asks. 

    “It’d be a Bad Match,” I answer, thinking that it’s obvious.

    “Not if nobody knew.”

    “So I’d potentially have to lie for the rest of my life? No thank you.”

    “Maybe not all of it. Maybe in a century or two, attitudes towards the Matchmaking system will be different.”

    “Or I can definitely find a nice girl on one of my match lists and not have to worry.”

    “So you’re telling me that you’d settle for a nice girl if she was on your Match Lists instead of going out on a limb to find the perfect person for you?”

    “The matchmaking system was designed to match up people to have the strongest possible kids and take into account personal tastes, so yes.”

    “That’s what it’s become. Was it not designed to make sure relatives don’t marry each other?”

    She’s got me there. “How would I go about proving that I’m not related to, you know…” 

    I’m not quite sure how to phrase it. 

    “Your current hyperfixation?” Sophie suggests. 

    That works. 

    “Do some research. The US will allow marriage between third cousins. At least that’s what I remember. I don’t know why I know that. They’ll have shared two of their sixteen great-great-grandparents. Add another generation or two and it’ll be far enough to be negligible, and follow down the family trees. It’ll as least cover the worst of it. And the whole point of not marrying family is to reduce the likelihood of certain recessive genetic diseases. Like the Habsburg chin.”

    Sophie shows me a picture of a guy she calls, “Charles the second of Spain.”

    His chin doesn’t look healthy. 

    “Oh,” I manage, considering all the marriages of cousins that must’ve led to this. 

    “You haven’t even heard of Alabama. Don’t ask.”

    “...what’s wrong with this Alabama?”

    “I told you not to ask. Do you have any more worries I have to prove aren’t as justified as you think they are?”

    “What if the subject of my current hyperfixation, as you called him, hates me?”

    “I don’t know. Take a chance, lay out your emotions, and see what happens?”

    I raise a suspicious eyebrow. 

    Because you did that with me. 

    Before I can argue, my Imparter buzzes with a message from Biana. 

    “Biana says that it’s time for me to eat dinner, so I’ve got to get home. Bye. I’ll see you later.”

   “Please come over here as much as you want. Please. Bye. The only reason I’m letting you leave is because I know you’ll come back.”

    Interrupting the death glaring contest between Sandor and Grizel, I leap away, feeling lighter than usual. 

    When I see Biana, she asks me, “So. What did you and Sophie talk about?”

    “The fact that you just ended a sentence in a preposition,” I reply, barely suppressing a smirk. Although I’m not sure why it wanted to tug at my lips.     

[crymeariveronceagain]

Thoughts on Brant?

*breaks fingers*

Brant’s a jerk. Like dang, how did one Neverseen member get to be so very salty. He’ll win any argument, just because he’s great with a comeback. He’s made every single Neverseen member either want him dead or cry. He made Keefe cry a lot. A lot a lot. Tam has yet to cry, but Brant thinks it’s coming.

Brant really and truly loved Jolie. He loved her more than anything, everything. Love was something bigger than him, and impermanent, but for a moment, he did love her more than his own self. 

Jolie’s love kept him human, at times, when he was younger. She managed to keep him sane. He would have done anything for her.

Brant’s main weakness is his own paranoia. He overthinks, overanalyzes, overestimates everything. If he had a choice, he’d lock himself in a room and never leave.

He doesn’t like people, anymore. He used to. He used to be a pretty friendly guy. Not anymore. He doesn’t talk to anyone. He keeps every thought in his own mind.

More than anything else, Brant is a result of circumstances. He’s not one thing, not one easy little answer in boxes to pick between good and evil. He doesn’t think of himself as wholly good or evil. He is just one person, born of bad, formed in strenuous, subject to dangerous

Brant was young. Like, really young, when he found out he was a pyrokinetic. And that did not go well for him. He lost everybody he cared about, just by existing.

Jolie was one of the few people who was able to trust him, knowing that he was a pyrokinetic.

He joined the Neverseen with really, really, really good intentions. He didn't want anything bad out of it, he honestly just wanted to be accepted. 

Of course, you know, time goes on. Opinions change. 

Someone in the upper ranks of the Neverseen sent him to burn down an empty building. It was resistance, they said. They couldn’t be walked over anymore. But Brant considered himself a good elf. He was good! He wouldn’t hurt people! 

But slowly, his inhibitions against harming others were lowered. It started slowly, as all things tend to, a slow and gentle descent into evil, because a frog thrown into a vat of boiling water will struggle, but a slowly boiled frog will accept its downfall with such complacency that you must assume that it doesn’t even know of its own demise.

The Neverseen’s claws sank into his chest, like ribbons of hate, and he couldn’t leave what they said away from what he saw. Every person around him was reduced to the ideas the Neverseen put into his mind. People who stood on the sidelines were complacent, people who fought against him were his enemies. Talentless were oppressed, talented were privliged. Pyrokinetics were victims, and that made everything they did okay. 

His lips twisted into a permanent scowl, his features turning into glares. No one was safe from the place he created in his mind, where everything was wrong and bad and nothing could escape his anger. Everyone was a threat, everyone was a danger.

Jolie found out about it eventually, and she cried. “This isn’t you, Brant,” she said, “It’s not good for you. It only makes you angry. I know you, and I know you don’t want this.”

“How dare you tell me what I want,” Brant had snapped at her, “You have a talent, and you’re allowed to use it. You’re part of the problem.”

Jolie’s eyes had glimmered with tears that he’d put there, but he jutted out his chin and didn’t back down. “Maybe if that’s what you think, you should leave. Get out.”

Jolie didn’t talk to him for weeks.

But then, one day, she hailed him, out of the blue. 

“I’ve been doing some thinking, Brant,” she said, softly, “And I... You’re right.”

Brant’s jaw had dropped. 

“I want to join the Neverseen.”

And she did. Brant wanted to marry her. He knew she was smart. He knew she was good, he knew she was kind.

But nothing added up. He picked up on the signs for a while. She didn’t look happy. He knew what Jolie’s happiness looked like, and she just looked pained. She kissed his hand, one night, and asked him if he’d still marry her if she did something dangerous. He hadn’t been able to shake the feeling that it wasn’t just a hypothetical. 

He watched Vespera grow more and more suspicious of his fiance. She never let things burn, and more and more of their plans got foiled. That secret organization, the Black Swan, seemed hotter on their heels than ever before. 

Brant had to look to Jolie. Vespera had to, as well. She was the only variable. The only difference.

He was there the night she slipped up. She accidentally messed up her words, called something the “Black Swan” instead of the “Neverseen”, and his soul died in his chest. 

Because he’d known. He’d known it, somewhere, deep in his chest. As much as he hadn’t wanted to believe it, he’d known.

The fire that began in his chest died, and he didn’t know what to do. So of course, he told someone. It just happened to be all the wrong someones. And the world around him burned.

They killed her in front of him, had him set the fires that they’d blame her death on, and he couldn’t say no. You can’t say no, at that point. You can’t jump out of the water that’s been boiling around you for years, now. Not when your fiance’s burned body is lying at your feet and you’re burning down her house. Not when they managed to break you, to ruin you, and you let them. 

He was out of choices, out of options. 

The guilt drove him into a semblance of madness. People blamed the fire, blamed her death, but it was guilt. 

The Neverseen abandoned him for decades. He had expected nothing less. They didn’t care. They couldn’t.

But then, he met her. And it clicked back into place horrifyingly quickly. 

Jolie had betrayed him, hadn’t she? He had watched them kill her, but she deserved it. He’d set the house aflame, but hadn’t it been a long time coming? She’d have killed him, if she could have gotten away with it. Maybe she’d been waiting for their marriage.

Paranoia snapped through his lungs, hot and sharp, and things clicked, but in a way that left scars. 

He had his wits about him, but he hid it.

The Neverseen took him back as though he hadn’t been gone a day.