#don’t even get me started on how another lane here is people who just don’t pay attention to media

[knowlesian]

gonna snap one day and run through the halls of media critique screaming A PLOTHOLE IS NOT WHEN THERE IS AN EASILY EXTRAPOLATED AND OBVIOUS ANSWER TO A QUESTION THAT THE WRITERS DID NOT THINK EVEN NEEDED TO BE EXPLAINED OUT LOUD BECAUSE THEY EXPECTED YOU TO USE YOUR BRAIN JUST A L I T T L E

[sweetestcaptainhughes]

What are you trying to say? - Trevor Zegras

Word Count - 3600

Author's Note - I 100 percent projected my own dysleixia hardcore into this. This was 100 percent written for the dyslexic girlies and learning disability girlies only. Also not me accidentally maybe becoming a Trevor girlie after writing this oh no. This one is by far my favorite segment.

Warnings - light angst but like it ends happy shocking for this page, who am I becoming???

Summary - In the talking stage with Trevor Zegras you're not sure how his joking personality will respond to your struggles that you have with being an adult with dyslexia, especially since it doesn't affect you how media expects it to.

Let me love you masterlist main masterlist

This isn’t something new to you, you’ve struggled your entire life with the fact that you're dyslexic. It’s a lot more complicated than people may recognize. Many people assume that it only comes up when you're trying to read something like a textbook or an article, and that when you’re finished with school it won’t really affect your daily life anymore but that’s far from the truth. In truth, being an adult with dyslexia affects you in little ways daily. From having difficulty knowing your left and right when given verbal directions, your spelling being terrible when texting others, mispronouncing certain words and being easily embarrassed when it gets pointed out, or worse sometimes the word is literally on the tip of your tongue you can even physically see in your brain but your mouth can’t form the proper sounds, how certain fonts you struggle to read vs others, or that black ink on white paper is the bane of your existence.  Although all of these are “little” things, it does impact the way you communicate with others. It does feel extremely frustrating sometimes feeling like people think that you're using your dyslexia as an “excuse” when in reality your brain is wired completely differently because of it. 

Since you first met Trevor and started talking to him, you had that fear you always do in the pit of your stomach, will he pick on you the first time that he truly can’t understand a text or the first time he hears you mispronounce a word despite years of speech therapy where you tried to but still you can’t pronounce correctly. Although, part of you knew that your fear was extremely irrational, part of you couldn’t shake the feeling that was until proven otherwise the jokester in Trevor would make a joke about something you truly couldn’t control. 

That is until today, when it happened it’s one of those rare days when you were driving and Trevor was in the passenger seat. His car was in the shop, and he needed a ride back from the arena to his apartment. Originally he was going to take an Uber but since you both already had plans after the morning skate you insisted on picking him up. 

“It’s easiest if you take this right up here to get back to my place.” He directs you without looking up from his phone,you tell him okay, turn on your left turn signal and get in the left lane. Trevor finally looks up from his phone while you're waiting at the red light for it to turn green to see you're in the wrong lane. 

“Sweetie?” asking in a questioning tone

“Hmmm” 

“This is the left lane. I told you to take a right.” Trevor says in a concerning tone as to how you were five traffic lanes away from where you needed to be. 

“sorry I thought you said ‘left’. I can make a u-turn?” Deciding in the moment you didn’t want to admit that you heard him correctly but processed the direction wrong, you offered as the traffic light finally turned green. 

“It’s alright we can just take the long way. Don’t worry about a u-turn.”  Not seeming to care at all that it will add an extra 10 minutes to the drive due to the mistake. 

As you continued driving you ended up making another wrong turn, Trevor put his left hand on your thigh and subconsiously rubbed small circles into skin to comfort your growing anxiety, he could feel this odd tension that was built up in the car. “Can you point please?” your voice barely over a whisper as you felt extremely embarrassed all of a sudden and started feeling overwhelmed all of a sudden. 

“Yeah Y/N/N I can do that, we could also switch places. I can drive you the rest of the way if you need it if you're feeling anxious all of a sudden.” Trevor was being really sweet, trying to fix the problem at hand thinking it was just some anxious thoughts and not your brain processing audible information incorrectly. 

“No, pointing is good.” Forcing yourself to look straight ahead because you don’t want to accidentally catch his eyes as he looks at you with a worried look. He squeezes your thigh in a comforting way and drops the topic. The rest of the ride felt quick as he pointed and said the direction you needed to go until you reached his apartment. Finding a parking spot in the garage you parked your car, as soon as you felt your foot on the brake, and your right hand pulled the gear in park, you leaned back automatically and sighed grateful you were done driving. Trevor still had his hand on your thigh, he turned his neck so that his head was also resting on the headrest. 

Trevor patiently waited until you opened your eyes, turning to him with a soft smile. “You ready?” you ask him, as you start to unbuckle your seatbelt. As you grab your purse from the back, your hand on the door handle. His hand that was on your thigh is gone and immediately pulls you by the wrist back into your seat. As he takes his other hand and gently places it on your cheek forcing you to look at him. 

“Can we talk about it?” His voice was steady, calm, confident but soft, almost as if he was scared of your reaction. 

Smiling a little wider now, in a split second you try to decide what you want to do. Do you want to tell a boy who you’ve only been casually talking to and hanging out with a handful of times - one of them being this current moment - about being dyslexic. Although it’s not that big of a deal in retrospect, it’s something that you can never take back once you said the words. Even though it’s something so simple and common no one ever looks at you the same again. Were you ready to tell Trevor, and see his face change permanently or did you want to live in ignorant bliss for a little longer. 

“I’m fine, it’s just when I drive somewhere new I like listening to the GPS and not a person telling me directions, it helps me focus better is all.” sheepishly you admit. 

Ignorant Bliss. That’s the choice you made. 

“Okay well next time, can you tell me that so I don’t have to watch you stress yourself out please?” His hand that was on your wrist, going down to your hand playing with your hand. Taking your hand that he was playing with, fully grasping his you squeeze his hand as a silent yes, and nod your head. He leans over the middle console and quickly peaks your lips as if it was a last minute impulse and he meant the cheek. “Thank you, let's go inside.” 

—-------------------------------

Living in ignorant bliss was great for a few weeks, until you started to actually like Trevor. Talking to a guy for a few months and it not going anywhere vs meeting someone and potentially seeing at least an exclusive relationship with them were two very different things. Knowing that you saw a relationship with him in the future meant it was only a matter of time before he found out that your dyslexic which again isn’t that big of a deal, but the fact that you also lied to him a few weeks ago. Not telling him is one thing, but lying when he asked why you were struggling to drive that day is a completely different act. 

Trying to put off the inevitable you tried to push the thought to the back of your mind. Somehow convincing yourself that if you didn’t think about it, then the problem would disappear he would never find out. I mean when you didn’t know how to spell a word while texting, you just spoke it into your phone. As far as grammar no one really had perfect grammar when texting including Trevor to be perfectly honest he probably didn’t even notice half the time. Plenty of people kept all their devices in dark mode for plenty of reasons, he had no reason to ask, although you did it because it helped your eyes stay focused on the words in front of you, not for the aesthetic. 

Even so, with all of these excuses as to why he wouldn’t notice you failed to remember that certain words you truly can’t pronounce the correct way no matter how hard you try. It all came crashing down tonight when you were at Trevor’s apartment cooking dinner for the both of you. Dinner was almost done at this point, when Trevor came behind you just now re-entering the kitchen after taking an expected call from his little sister. Trevor wrapped his arms around your waist, his head resting on top of your shoulder. 

“Everything okay?” you ask your curiosity getting the best of you, even though you know it’s none of your business. 

“Yeah she’s fine.” Pressing a kiss into where your jawline and neck meet. “smells good.” He compliments your cooking as he teases you one more time with a small nip with his teeth where he just kissed you, before pulling away and resting his head on your shoulder. 

Answering shyly, you let out a “thank you.”

“Anything I can help with?” asking genuinely although you're not sure if it’s to be kind or if it’s because he’s hungry but either way you’ll take it. As he slowly unwraps himself from you, getting ready to help you in any way you need. 

Without looking up from the chicken that you're grilling on the stove, trying to concentrate on the task at hand you answer him. “Yeah actually can you grab out the mellk from the fridge for the mashed potatoes.” Not even thinking twice about what you just said until you heard a chuckle coming from across the kitchen. 

“What babe?” standing in front of a now open fridge, he could have sworn you tried to say milk but botched the word so badly, it couldn’t have possibly been.

“the mellk��� finally noticing what you asked for, knowing this is one of the words people can’t help but point out how you butcher it. 

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, truly confused now that he heard it twice. 

“M - il - k “ you repeat slowing down your mouth trying to force yourself to pronounce it properly but also not speak too slowly. Hoping that it's noticeable as you force your tongue to the roof of your mouth to make the “il” sound.  

A small chuckle leaves Trevor’s lips but it wasn’t a malicious way, it was as if he chuckled because he found it adorable. “Here's the milk baby.” walking back over to you and placing it on the empty counter space next to the bowl of steaming hot cooked potatoes. Taking the chicken off the hot burner you moved to the island to where the potatoes were. 

“Sorry” you mumble as he stands beside you, his hip resting on the side of the island. 

“For what?” His eyebrows frowned, his eyes focused the side of your face the only thing he could see. Focusing on the task at hand, you used the potato masher and mashed the potatoes. Opening the milk and adding a little along with some butter that you set out earlier. 

Feeling the rise of some anxiety in your stomach, hoping that you could procrastinate just a little longer on admitting that you didn’t tell him the whole truth. Deciding if now was the time or if you were gonna dig yourself in a bigger hole by wrapping yourself in a thicker web of tiny white lies. 

Finally turning your head to the side to face him and taking a deep breath. 

For good measure making one more deep breath before you barely utter the words, your nerves getting the better of you. “I lied.” 

Trevor’s face immediately changed from confusion and concern. In an instant it became shocking and almost hurt, that the girl he thought was actually going somewhere a month in, is admitting to lying to him. Not when he told her in the beginning that lying wasn’t something he tolerated after his ex lied to him for months and manipulated him. Not when he just told his little sister not even ten minutes ago on the phone that tonight he was gonna ask you to be his official girlfriend. “What are you talking about?” his voice cracking before he could even get the word out, quickly clearing his throat to cover up his own insecurities about the possible tension that could slowly be felt brewing in his kitchen. 

“Remember a few weeks, when I was driving you to your apartment from the stad-” 

“What the FUCK does that have to do with lying to me? When did you lie to me Y/N” Not only has Trevor never once raised his voice at you in a not joking way, but he’s never cursed at you, and his tone made you close your eyes and flinch at the impact. Immediately, seeing you flinch he sighed his hand going to lightly crease her arm closest to him. “When did you lie?” asking at a much softer tone than moments before. 

“I’m trying to explain.” Trevor could have sworn he felt his chest hurt when he heard you struggling to speak, as if you were trying to get yourself not to cry. “Please let me explain.” 

“Okay” he softly let out, as he squeezed your arm not sure if he was trying to comfort you or himself as he felt the possibility of you slipping through his fingers. 

“A few weeks ago when I drove you home.” finally turning her body fully turning to face him. “I lied, When you asked me what happened. I told you I need the GPS because I get overwhelmed.” Pausing to make sure that Trevor was following along, he nodded along, “I lied, sort of,” your voice picking up in speed with each word you uttered out  “I mean I do get overwhelmed while driving but it’s not because of that it’s not that I” 

“Baby please take a breath you're scaring me” His other arm is going to cup your cheek, even though he was mad before as he heard you fixated on driving him home a few weeks ago. He knew it couldn’t have possibly been any of the terrible ideas that popped into his head, at least Trevor hoped not.

 “I sometimes get my left and right confused.” Looking up trying to gauge his reaction, watching as one of his eyebrows go down, as if to say ‘that’s all.’ 

“Okay. So that was the lie? Everyone gets confused sometimes and makes mistakes baby it’s okay” His famous smile slowly takes over his face. 

“That’s the thing is it isn’t sometimes, it’s kind of a lot when I’m driving when someone is giving me directions without pointing, and there are other things too. I mean they're small but they still affect me almost daily and I just.” 

Deciding to take a breath because if you don’t you will be more likely to trip up your words or stutter. “I’m dyslexic and it’s not really how they describe the movies.” 

His smile dropped a little and you swear it felt as if your heart felt as if it had just dropped a hundred flights down the Empire State building. “Dyslexic. Like you mix up letters when reading?”

“Yeah but it’s more than that.”

“Okay. But why didn’t you tell me when it happened? Why did you say it’s because you get overwhelmed.” 

“Because I do get overwhelmed when I make dumb mistakes like that. Plus, everytime I tell someone they never look at me the same. A lot of times they are shocked, and they also sometimes judge me because how does it not affect me the way the media portrays it? Why do I mispronounce words, why can’t I tell my left and right when someone gives me a direction, why I can’t read maps to save my fucking life but yet if I don’t have my GPS running I’m bound to a wrong turn, why does sometimes my mind decide I either can’t come up with a word at all or I can physically see it but I can’t say it and I can’t spell it because I’m such a bad speller.” 

“Shhh” not trying to cut you off but also trying to get you to breathe. “So you didn’t tell me cause you were scared I would look at you differently? Or judge you when something you can’t control comes out at random times of the day? That’s why you told me to point instead of just saying it because you didn’t wanna tell me in fear?” Not sure his tone is showing remorse for you thinking that at all or hurting that you ever would think of him in that way. 

“Yeah.” you embarrassingly admit.

Trevor spent the rest of the night listening to you and how your brain was different due to your own personal experience with being a dyslexic. The next morning you found him reading an article about the effects of different lighting and how dark mode was the best for dyslexics and certain fonts were better than others. It made you chuckle as you told him you knew and that’s why your phone was permanently in dark mode.  That day, he changed all the settings on his tv’s in his entire apartment for dark mode, even all of his own personal devices. Finding it adorable that he went on a tangent when he found out certain apps don’t support dark mode and how he said it was discriminating. Finding it harder and harder for yourself to hide your soft smile as you watched him continue his rant, your heart swelling at how passionate he sounded. 

“I really like you, you know.” you admitted when he finally stopped complaining about how Mirosoft finally started supporting dark mode it was still ‘white paper’ on black ink so they really missed the whole point. 

“Oh yeah.” as he grabs you, pulling you towards him on the couch, tangling your legs with his. 

“Yup” popping the p for emphasis.

“I really like you too. Actually I was gonna ask you.. Wanna make this official and let me call you mine.” The blush was obvious on your face, immediately turning a light red shade, nodding your head he pulled you into a soft kiss. 

—---------------------------------------------

A few weeks later you were out to dinner with a few close friends and Trevor. Currently trying to tell a story about one of your new coworkers and how you didn’t like him but mid sentence you froze. Trevor had yet to see you freeze because the word you planned to say completely escaped you. Of course this wasn’t new to your friends as they saw the familiar signs, the way in which you paused, your lips pursed in a questioning way, your hand coming up and shaking knowing it was on the tip of your tongue and you just couldn’t think of it or couldn’t pronounce it. 

What your friends weren’t used to was seeing Trevor respond to it. His response to you struggling made all of them share a glance in approval of his small action. He took your shaking hand and slipped it into his own. Immediately your small flustered expression on your face turns to him. Your friends couldn’t hear what you were saying between yourselves if you were even talking at all, but they could see the care in Trevors eyes and how your frustration seemed to melt away.

“Hi” he whispers only for you to hear after a couple seconds pass. 

A smile breaks out on your face. “Hi” 

“What are you trying to say?” repeating the same sentence that he asked you weeks ago when you asked him to get the milk out the fridge. 

“I can’t think of it.” a sigh leaving your lips. 

“Describe it.” His forehead resting on yours as you look into his eyes. 

“You know, like a red flag.” 

“Like in dating? So a slang term?” 

“I think.” Pausing for a few seconds for your brian to catch up. “But I know it’s not called a red flag, but it’s like it, I think, like when someone does something and immediately you're like ew.” 

“An ick?” he softly suggests. Immediately your mouth forms into an o-shape in shock, making his mouth twitch into the slightest smile. Kissing his check quickly and whispering a quick ‘thanks’ and turning back to your friends. 

“Okay so like this new dude thinks he can come in and just boss all me and my other co-workers around. That’s not even the worst part like not only is he lowkey sexist, he literally only wears highwaters, immediate ick…” Trevor sat there half listening to your story with a huge smile on his face, hand on your thigh drawing patterns subconsciously as he sipped on his drink. He loves listening to you talk, how you get lost in telling stories and he’s happy he was able to help you instead of you pushing it to the side like you did all those months ago. 

That’s how it is from that night on, anytime you text him and he can’t understand it, or you can’t think of a word, or butcher the pronunciation; he will simply turn to you and ask “What are you trying to say?” 

[lexisecretaccx]

A+ Student pt.2

Other parts on my Masterlist!

(Fem reader, Matt and Chris, suggestive, little angst, not proofread! Everyone is 18+, idk what else)

Summary: Y/n is a great student in her college, always getting good grades. Her college professor Matt, thinks she can get even higher ones with some “extra credit.” That is until she meets her new gym teacher..

“There she is!” Lizzy calls over to me, sat next to 3 other people who I don’t know, she motions me to sit opposite her. “Who are these?” I whisper to her. She chuckles, “this is Ethan, this is Jamie and this is Kelly.” She looks to a blonde girl sat next to her who smiles at me, “I’m new, I think I’m in your English class.” She giggles, “oh nice.” I smile uncomfortably.

I don’t enjoy being around new people, I know you have to be to make new friends but I honestly don’t want new friends. I eat my food silently while they all talk and make my way to the library for the last period, which was a free period. Nobody else who I knew had one so I was alone but it’s usually like that anyway.

Lizzy enjoys being around people, she’s pretty extroverted but not me.

I sit down at a table in the library and open a book, not a book to learn but just a book. Icebreaker. If you weren’t familiar with it, it’s a smutty book so reading it in school is a dangerous task.

I turn to the page I was on and read it. Whilst I was getting into the story, I sense someone looking at me and I turn around. Matt is stood there flicking through a book, he quickly drops his head from looking at me. I pack my book into my bag, placing the bookmark into the page and I walk to him. “Hey professor.” I lean up against the bookcase next to him.

“Oh hey y/n, you okay?” He smiles at me, “yeah I have a free period, what you reading?” I ask him looking at the book in his hands. He shrugs lightly, “I don’t know I just picked a random book,” he laughs quietly due to us being in a library. “Uh, why did Chris make you stay behind earlier?” He slightly leads my arm so we can sit down.

“I threw a dodgeball at Rachel, because she was saying shit about me.” I whisper, he chuckles, “Rachel in the English class?” I nod. “I’ll give her a D- next test if you want.” He grins, “No don’t do that.” I laugh, “I was kidding.”

We chat and I text him so he gets my number and the bell rings so I leave to go home. As I’m walking I get a text from Matts number, “extra credit 6pm? 27 Saques Lane.” I smile to myself before texting back, “sure see u there.”

I feel my cheeks heat up, am I really doing this? I get home and walk upstairs, showering, making myself look presentable and also slipping on a red lacy set, just in case.. I put on sweats and a crop top that shows my cleavage the perfect amount. Am I delusional? What if he doesn’t mean what I think he does? I start to feel anxious but I get a cab to his house.

The cab driver pulls up outside Matt’s and I pay him before hopping out of the car. I walk up his large driveway, this house must have at least 4 bedrooms or more, there’s a minivan in the driveway and a fancy Porsche. “Woah.” I mumble to myself. I knock the door nervously, someone opens the door. “Oh hey..” he says.

“Sorry I’m just heading out now, who are you?” He tilts his head slightly, “oh I’m y/n, I’m here to see Matt?” I speak, anxiety filling my chest. “Oh yeah he’s in the living room, see ya.” He walks past me without letting me say another word. “Okay..” I whisper. I walk in and I can hear music or something coming from the room next to me.

The door is glass so I peer through and see Matt laying back on a big couch facing a modern fireplace with a massive tv on it. How can he afford these things? I think to myself.

I open the door and walk in, Matt instantly turning his head to face me. His gaze softens as he realised it’s me. “I’m so sorry I didn’t hear you knock!” He stands up and walks to me, “it’s fine, the other one of you three opened the door.” I smile, “Nick?” He asks me and I shrug, “probably, it wasn’t Chris so yeah.” I laugh and he chuckles.

“Come sit.” He sits back down and I sit next to him, he turns the TV off and directs his attention to me, “so what extra credit should I do?” I lean closer to him, “like write a short story or do some quizzes or something else..” I look him up and down, the grey sweatpants sitting perfectly and the tight black tshirt is doing all sorts of good things.

“I like the third option.” He whispers before leaning in and brushing my hair out of my face. I know this is wrong but it feels so good. I press my lips to his and I melt into him, his soft lips move against mine perfectly.

He hums against my lips before pulling away too soon. “This is wrong.” He mumbled to himself. “I thought you wanted..” I go to speak but he cuts me off, “I don’t know y/n.. what if I lose my job?” He stands up and wipes his mouth, “fuck.” He breathes out. “I’m sorry..” I fidget with my hands.

“Don’t apologise.. please y/n? I just...” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I wasn’t thinking straight.. you’re just so.. I don’t know.” He sits on the coffee table opposite me.

“So you don’t want me anymore?” I ask, and he huffs, “No I’m not saying that.. but I also am. I just love my job, and you’re great at the subject but I don’t want this.” He motions between us. My eyes well with tears, “what?” My voice cracks, “don’t cry, please? I’m gonna go for a drive.. clear my head but you can stay here until I’m back if you want.” He smiles and pats my shoulder.

He walks out the door, “what the fuck just happened.” I cry softly to myself, placing my head in my hands. I should’ve know that this wasn’t what he wanted truly. Fuck I feel awful, I’m a slut.

After 5 minutes I stand up to go leave and the front door opens infront of me, Matt wouldn’t be home this quickly, what if it’s Nick? He doesn’t know me and I’m crying in his hallway. “Oh fuck you scared me.” I look up to see Chris, I breathe out softly, “oh shit you okay?” He walks up to my and rests his hand on my shoulder, I shake my head. “No.” I squeak before crying harder.

Without hesitation he pulls me into his chest and hugs me, I pull my head off of him and he looks down, “I don’t wanna get makeup on your shirt.” I whisper and he chuckles. “It’s fine.”

We pull away from the hug, “that’s embarrassing.” I laugh lightly, and he tilts his head, “what is?” I shrug, “I fucking cried in my gym teachers arms.” He laughs softly, “that’s not embarrassing.. but why are you in my house crying?” He leads me to the kitchen and we sit up to the island. “Uh.. fuck I don’t know if I can tell.” I sigh.

“Matt? Right?” He asks. I nod, “We didn’t do anything, he just flipped out.” He cracks his knuckles, “well he is your professor maybe he got scared, he’s never been one to take risks.” Chris leans on the counter smiling at me. I sigh, “yeah but he made me think he wanted something.”

“It’s okay, when is he coming back?” He rubs my back comfortingly, I shrug. “I don’t know, he didn’t say.” Chris nods. The room has gotten tense, not an awkward tension but it’s indescribable.

“What did you mean earlier today?” Chris’ eyes meet mine and he hums in confusion, “when you said there was ways for me to get higher grades, what did you mean by that?” I ask again, the corners of his mouth flick up before relaxing, “it wasn’t what you were thinking..” he smirks.

“What did you think I was thinking?” I lean on the counter infront of me slightly, “I think you were thinking that I was implying something sexual.. weren’t you y/n?” He leans in slightly, I shake my head gently. “No I wasn’t thinking that.. you’re my teacher.” I scoff, “didn’t stop you from trying with Matt huh?” He leant in further.

“The difference between me and him? I like to take risks.” He leant in so his nose brushed against mine before he pulled away. I feel my cheeks redden, he laughs at my nervousness, “do you want-” I go to speak but the front door unlocks and both of us turn to face the door before Chris gets up and walks over to the fridge. Matt walks in and goes to check the living room before he notices me in the kitchen.

“Oh hey.” He spoke softly walking towards me, his eyes dart to Chris standing there opening a can of Pepsi. His jaw tightens, “hey Matty boy you okay?” Chris teases and Matt rolls his eyes, “see ya tomorrow y/n.” Chris spoke as he walks past me, patting my shoulder and going out into the hall. “Did you tell him.. or?” Matt starts to talk.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now.” I sigh, “hey what did I do?” He asks with genuine concern on his face, I scoff. “You led me on to believe you wanted something from me!” I stand up out of the seat. “Come on y/n, I’m your professor.. grow up.” He spoke, I just started walking towards the front door.

“Wait.. wait.” He yelled slightly before grabbing my arm. “Get off.” I hiss. “I’m sorry okay?” He whispers in my ear before letting go. “I’ll see you in tomorrow’s lecture, no hard feelings right?” He smiled and I just opened the door and walked out. I felt angry. Why did he pretend he wanted something and then treats me like shit.

Chris is nice though.. “y/n.. please come back.” I hear Matt calling from behind me and I turn around, I still can’t deny that I find him so fucking gorgeous he’s just kind of a dick.. “what?” I reply. “I’ll bump your overall trade to an A+.. I know how much you want it and you deserve it.” He smiles as he catches up with me, he brushes my hair out my face. “Thanks…” I feel drawn into him.

What kind of spell has he got on me? He’s manipulating me right? “What were you and Chris doing?” He asks me, as his hand rests on my arm, “the thing we didn’t do.” I whisper just to watch his expression change. It did exactly that and his gaze hardens, “what?” He mumbles, “we talked.. me and you haven’t done that.” I turn around and continue to walk away.

I turn away to see him walking back to his house slowly, I can’t let him manipulate me but I just don’t know.. there’s something about him.. but also about Chris.. maybe it’s the fact they’re both my teachers, or maybe it’s because they look the same but are so different at the same time.

I just don’t know what I want..

A/n: Team Chris or Team Matt? I have good plans for this but I cannot reveal and I also cannot upload too much bc of how busy I ammm! Ily all and thanks for 600 followers that’s crazy!

@blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @mattybslover @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard @st7rnioioss @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosmind @fratbrochrisgf @sturniol0s @alwayssublimedelusion @certifiednatelover @freshsturns @riasturns @sturniololvrrr @maryx2xx @whicked-hazlatwhore @cammie4298 @sturnsjtop @sturnzblog @chr1sgirl4life @evie-sturns @milasturniolo @jaxyy219

[sapphossparenoterbook]

Succubi

Agatha Harkness x Jennifer Kale, minor Agatha Harkness x Rio Vidal

For @hannah-0730!! I hope you like it, I tried to stick to your original post as much as possible!

For anyone interested, the original post is here

Agatha has lived a long, long life, which is why she has had thousands upon thousands of fake identities to protect her actual identity. She had thought, of course, that nobody had ever caught on to the fact that she has been at many historical events, and had a few slightly less important events crafted around her. That’s why she’s so stunted when Billy suddenly asks:

“Agatha? Is it true that you’re Jolene? Like… THE Jolene, from the Dolly Parton song?” 

Suddenly, memories from her life in the 70’s take hold, and she phases out thinking about how she had actually been intending to seduce Dolly and not her stupid, ugly boyfriend or whatever they were at that point. She’d earned a slap for that, and Rio had pretty much instantly known who the song was about, and it caused them to have another few years of affairs again. That was very fun, Rio gets sexy when she’s jealous…

Suddenly, Agatha’s trip down memory lane is rudely abrupt by the annoying, snarky drawl of Jennifer Kale. If it wasn’t for her running her mouth all the time, she’d be hot as fuck–no, she is definitely still hot as fuck, but she’d be even more so. 

“Billy, don’t be stupid, why would anyone like Agatha enough to mumble her pseudonym in his sleep– and why would Dolly Parton be intimidated enough to write a song about that old hag, of all people!” 

Agatha is using her magic before she even clocks what she’s doing, but she’s sick and tired of Jen running her mouth and getting no consequence for it, and it won’t exactly hurt the other woman in any way. 

“Something people don’t know about me…” Agatha says, stopping the group and moving so that she stands in front of Jen, slowly moving forward so that they’re chest to chest, her magic flaring out and manipulating the other witch into being much easier to seduce. 

“... is that I can be quite persuasive, when I wanna be, Jen” she draws out the second half of the sentence, letting her voice go deeper and more husky than usual, bringing her hand up to gently grab at Jen’s chin, and force her to stare directly into Agatha’s eyes. Jen gulps, and her eyes slightly widened, something Agatha can only notice from so close up. 

“Do you understand, Jen? Maybe you see where I'm coming from?�� She asks, letting her thumb gently rub at the prominent bone of Jen’s jaw. 

Jen lets out a quiet squeak, or a squeal? And then she whispers out her response, “...yeah, I think so…” And Agatha can’t help the smirk she gives off when Jen’s head slightly starts to lean into her hand, and then Jen starts leaning in, slowly but definitely, and she closes her eyes and shudders when when Agatha instead leans over to her ear, “Aww, look at how quickly you broke, honey! Do you want some attention, is that it? Is that why you’re so grumpy and mean all the time, you just want love and attention,hm?” She speaks mockingly, but Jen definitely loves it, letting out another little squeak that this time is most definitely a moan. Jen leans in for another kiss, and Agatha teasingly pulls back again, and in the corner of her eye she sees Lilia cover Billy’s eyes as Jen whines and leans in quite quickly this time, and brings her into a kiss. 

It’s searing; desperate, and quite clear that Jen is definitely feeling the effects of her succubus powers–good. Agatha feels a sick and slightly twisted pleasure in being able to manipulate Jen this way, and takes control of the kiss, slipping her tongue into Jen’s mouth and kissing her deeper. 

At the sound of Jen letting off another moan, Agatha feels hands on her shoulders, forcefully ripping her away from Jen, and she turns with a huff to face–Rio. 

Rio, looking sexy and angry, and barely hiding both of those under a weak mask of control. “Agatha!” She shouts, the same tone for if she was telling off a naughty dog, “You’re wasting your powers! You need that energy!” Agatha can’t resist just rolling her eyes and attempting to push past Rio, but without the full strength of her powers, Rio easily stops her from getting away. “Stop being so bratty–what if there is an emergency, and you can't help anyone because you wanted to make Jen horny to piss her off? Huh?!” 

Agatha huffs again, side-eying Jen who is most definitely horny… her face is flushed and she’s got a slightly far away look in her eyes as she stares over at Agatha with none of the irritation and hatred her gaze usually holds when directed at the purple witch. 

“It was an emergency. She doubted my skills, and I needed to prove her wrong.”

“You know what I meant, Agatha! God!” She says, and huffs, barely hiding her jealousy. “An actual fucking emergency!” Agatha giggles, and glances at Jen once again, who is so clearly needy, and when Agatha and Rio return to walking down the road, she follows like a lost puppy. Lilia full on belly laughs at her, and Billy looks absolutely fucking disgusted at what just happened. And most definitely scarred for life. 

Rio occasionally throws some glares over her shoulder at Jen, and pulls Agatha closer to her whenever Jen looks back up at them. Totally not jealous!

[little-forest-goblin]

First impressions Pt.2

Regency!Five Hargreeves x reader

Synopsis: In the regency era every woman wanted to marry a man that was wealthy and had good status. there was little time to get to know one another. But you Y/N L/N are the most reluctant to these whole marriage to random men you don’t fully know.

———————————————————————

———————————————————————

God you were so nervous.

The doors of the manor were huge. You and your family stepped up to the doors and once opened you saw the party in its full glory. People dancing, some flirting, some drinking, some already drunk off their minds. It was a sight to behold. Trisha and Maggie gasped with wide smiles and looked to each other and quickly went inside. Mother and father where smiling and reminiscing about the days of there time when they were young and found each other. Colin had already hurried off having already found a beautiful girl he could dance with. This left you by yourself. You nervously entered and looked around the ball. God this was nerve wracking and honestly dizzying seeing people dance around and laugh and chatter away. You took a deep breath in then out and began to walk around. The hargreeves manor was quite beautiful and large but almost to much. Like they had so much money they didnt know where to put it or what to invest in. When you ended up around a table with glasses of wine you picked one up and sipped it. A good year. How suiting for such an event and a wealthy man. Your drink was cut short by your sister trisha hurrying to you “Come Y/N! Reginald and his son’s and daughters is coming!” trisha took your glass setting it down you laughed as she dragged you along excitedly “I was drinking that trisha!” of course it fell on deaf ears as they went to the front as the guests parted a pathway for Reginald. You stood next to trisha and maggie as reginald and his family started to make their way down the lane. There were 7 of them. 6 sons and 1 daughter all above 18 meaning suitable bachelors and bachelorette. Reginald stood at the front and his voice sounded “Thank you all for coming here today. I am honored to be graced with your presence’s. Now im not one for idle chit chat so i will introduce you to my children.” Reginald gestured to all of them but one caught your eye immensely. He held his arms behind his back his hair combed and cut precisely and an air of stoicism and sophistication. Five Hargreeves was his name. He looked honestly a bit miserable like he would rather be anywhere but here. You chuckled softly and whispered to Maggie and Trisha “Is it just me or does that one look awfully miserable?” Trisha looked to you and back to Five “him? five? I think he looks quite handsome.” you chuckled and looked to her “Yes but he seems to be quite a buzzkill, no?” trisha smacked you arm lightly with her closed hand fan. you chuckled and rubbed the spot and looked back to the front a second to late cause now the party was back normal dancing and drinking. Before you even got a minute break your mother took your arm along with maggie and trisha’s “Mother! what on earth are you doing?” trisha whisper yelled Your mother smiled “We are going to meet them!” you suddenly felt nauseous. Once you where in front of them Your father came up to reginald “Mr Hargreeves splendid party.” he shook his hand and reginald gave a tight lipped smiled “Yes i am just glad i could have everyone in unity.” your father chuckled “You know my wife and these are our three daughters Trisha, maggie and Y/N” you and your sisters took a polite curtsy. Reginald nodded “They sure are beautiful, George.” your father smiled almost proudly “Yes they are aren’t they.” As your father, mother and reginald talked you couldnt help but feeling a pair eyes on you. You look to see who is the culprit to see Five whose eyes looked you up and down and met yours not daring to look away. This sent a shudder down your back and goosebumps on your legs. His green eyes pierced you like no other. You kept your eye contact till it was interrupted by Trisha dragging you to the dance floor to come dance. You kept your eyes locked with his for a moment before looking away. Your stomach felt a knotted feeling in it. You tried to push it away and just followed Trisha “Trisha! slow down” Trisha giggled “No! come one come dance there plenty of handsome men tonight!” you chuckled and sighed shaking your head lightly and joined in on the dance.

You have been dancing for some time now. Your cheeks slightly red and your heart racing. The man you were dancing with was quite good at this you must admit. Eventually you stepped out to have a break as you caught your breath and stood to the side you noticed none other than five was next to you. Suddenly it felt like the air was right back in your lungs. You looked at him a bit surprised he noticed your look and turned to you “Problem Mrs L/N?” you went a little red in the cheeks not exactly expecting him to remember you “Oh um…yes everything is fine.” You looked away and back to the people dancing a bit of an awkward silence happened between you and him. He then broke it “Shouldnt you be dancing with a man? Perhaps finding a husband?” you looked to him with furrowed brows “why exactly is that your business what i do?” he looked to you “It was just a question” you and his eyes locked and that shudder went down your body again until you looked away and back the group. He stayed looking at you for a minute till he looked away again and back at the people. He gave a hmph and walked off. You furrowed your brows and shrugged thinking nothing of it.

Later in the night your sister trisha was conversing with you about the man she was dancing with which so happened to be viktor hargreeves she was swooning over him immensely. Just then nearby five was talking to none other then viktor. Viktor turned to five “The L/N family is quite something else, dont you think, five?” five didnt spare a glance at his brother “Yes something else indeed. You and that Trisha were pretty cozy with eachother no?” viktor chuckled “Yes i quite like her. Lively one she is. What about you and that Y/N? I saw you talking to her earlier” five shrugged “She is alright i suppose” Five said that but something else was in his eyes. was it intrigue? Viktor scoffed “Really thats it? God when are you ever gonna find someone.” five finally turned to him “Viktor i only just met her. Im not going to wed her just because she might intrigue me.” Viktor chuckled and shook his head “So you do not like than?” five thought for a moment. “In a logical standpoint, no” Now that hurt. You scoffed and shook your head. Now are you mad he didn’t instantly love you? No but He could’ve just said he would’ve wanted to get to know you better instead of a flat no! Trisha looked a little shocked herself. she looked to you seeing your embarrassed look she took your hands “Don’t worry about him! there is plenty fish in the sea and this sea has many i saw looking at you.” you looked to her and smiled softly “Your right your right but-“ Trisha shook her head “Ah ah ah i wont have it. You don’t want him anyway. He is a fool for not wanting you besides you said it yourself, a damned buzzkill. Miserable man.” you chuckled and then full on laughed as she pulled you back out to the dance floor determined to make you feel much better about yourself.

Sometime later a slower dance was coming on you ended up partnering with the man from earlier. you never caught his name and you know what might as well now “I don’t think i ever caught your name” he looked down at you and chuckled “Ah yes i suppose not. My name is Edward. Edward wentworth.” he brought your hand to his lips giving a light kiss to the knuckle bringing it back in place for the dance. You has to admit he was quite handsome himself. You giggled “Edward wentworth? What a fascinating name” You and edward seemed to talk the whole time. He seemed more interested in getting to know you than immediately proposing marriage. Your mind completely abandoned the memory of fives harsh words he exchanged with viktor as you talked and danced with edward. Unbeknownst to you five was watching across the way. his eyes burned with something he couldnt put his finger on quite yet. it took over his impulses and made him walk his way through the crowd to you and stop you and Edward.

“Excuse me? mind if i cut in?”

———————————————————————

Hey ya’ll i hope you guys enjoyed the writing. Sorry for any grammatical errors! i love you guys stay safe ❤️

[mysteriouslyjovialcolor]

United States 2018

-Just me trying to get familiar with this circuit before the weekend

-Oh also I’ve just realized they’ve finally added the halo this season

-Charles going up to Q3 in a Sauber, I know a qualifying genius when I see one

-Whyyy is Max starting p18

-Can I manifest a Daniel podium here or is that too ambitious?

-“This could be Kimi Raikonenn’s last chance to win a race with Ferrari” MAYBE he’d have had more chances if he didn’t have to always play the team game

-YESSS KIMI

-One Ferrari having a great start and another spinning around 90 degrees

-Wow people have already pitted lap one

-Wow Max is already up to p9

-Dammit Charles is down to p17

-Alonso out??

-Renault is 4th in the constructors?? How on earth!

-Red Bull is having a great race right now, I have an eerie feeling that’s all going to go away very soon

-“Lewis can win the championship today if he out scores Vettel by 8 points” I always somehow end up watching championship deciding races without meaning to

-Would be cool to see him win his 5th championship here though

-Yeahh, the feeling was right, Daniel is out

-“The man who smiles the biggest of all when he comes to Texas” AND HE WONT EVEN BE THERE THIS YEAR

-Screw you RB, VCarb and literally everyone else

-Virtual safety car and no one in the pit lane?

-oh never mind, there’s a few people

-oh is Lewis coming in too?

-Ahahah that bluff from Kimi

-Did Checo and Ocon ever stop squabbling? The answer I think, is no

-Somehow Max always makes overtaking a bunch of cars look so easy. How did he go up 14 whole positions that fast?

-“Let’s not do anything stupid” yes Kimi!

-Let’s go!!! That was great defense!!!

-ohmygod why defend like that only to pit

-okay I’m just going to trust…the Ferrari strategists

-Going to un-curse RB for a second because that was some great strategy

-Please for once tell Sebastian to let Kimi through

-Yesss

-Verstappen p3!

-Sainz steadily making his way up the points

-It’s so funny watching the leaderboard and seeing Carlos fight Hartley and go from p9 to p8 to p9 to p8 while the commentators just talk about something else completely

-Sadly Charles has not gone up from p16

-George Russell!!

-Ah Charles has retired

-Ferrari playing the long game and it actually paying off??

-Lewis pitting, which apparently means the championship won’t be decided this race

-He came out p4 behind Bottas, which probably means he’ll get past him quite easily

-I actually need Kimi to win this race

“2044 days since he’s last won a race” yes please win again now

-How are there 15 more laps? This race feels like it should be over now

-Max Verstappen: an interference for championship contenders since 2016

-Come on Sebastian, close that gap

-“Wouldn’t it be great for the romantics out there if Kimi wins the race here” yes yes it would be

-Oh god the top three are so close together

-“He’d actually be able to drink the champagne in the United States legally, because he’s 21 now” haha

-So close togetherrrr

-This is nerve wracking

-Those zig-zag turns (I think turns 6-8) make everything look so much cooler

-Completely forgot there are others in this race aside from these three

-I’ve been trying not to say anything about Nico this whole time so as to not jinx him finally doing well, but there are only 5 more laps to go, so I should be okay (I hope)

-Anyway, Nico p6!!!!!

-Renault in general is doing well rn

-Carlos is right behind in p7

-If Lewis gets past Max, he wins the world championship

-I hope he doesn’t cause I need Kimi’s win to not be overshadowed

-Lewis can win the championship in the next race

-Milly Bobby Brown?? What are you doing here??

-Ohmygod!!! I don’t even have any words!! That fight between Lewis and Max was everything!! I had my hand over my mouth the whole time!!! I actually kinda need to see that again!

-Ohmygod Valterri going wide right after Lewis did, Sebastian up to p4

-Kimi Raikkonen Race Winner!!!!!!!

-Those last few laps were everything!!!!!!!

-Aww Kimi taking a moment in the car

-I’m almost in tears, that was amazing!!!

-Not Kimi asking Lewis if he won the championship or not 😂😂

-Aww the mechanics singing the Italian national anthem with such enthusiasm (reminds me of Monza this year)

-This race turned around so fast, it was actually perfect

[noxemma]

Super late start, but here's the first chapter of a fic for @winchester-reload's Hot Summer Art challenge (better late than never, right?)

Tags, Rating, Word Count, AO3 link, etc. at the bottom

Beside Your Side

Fic Summary: Dean convinces Sam to look into a potential case where people are going missing from a New Jersey beach town. Of course, they have to bring Cas and Eileen along, just in case it's not a monster. Dean is excited to get the case over quickly and enjoy a well-earned vacation with the people he loves the most. Nothing ever seems to go the way Dean plans it though, and this case is no exception.

Chapter 1: Down to the Seaside

Dean

“Dude, really?” Sam quirks a brow and gives Dean a look that would make him feel guilty if he was actually bullshitting. But, for once, he’s not and he can’t stop how giddy it makes him.

“I’m serious, Sammy! Over the last couple of weeks, five people have gone missing and then a day or two later, a mysterious sand sculpture shows up on the beach looking just like them! Tell me that doesn’t sound like our kind of thing.”

“I mean, it does, but-” Sam hedges.

“But what?” Dean tries not to whine or pout or let on just how excited he really is. “We can’t take a case because it’s on a beach? Can’t go because, God forbid, if it does end up being nothing, we might take a day or two and enjoy a vacation for once? C’mon, Sam. Haven’t we earned it?”

“Geez, fine! We’ll check it out,” Sam huffs. He maintains his stern expression for a few seconds before a twinkle lights his eyes and a small smile starts to form. “But I’m inviting Eileen. Just in case it is, you know, nothing.”

“Deal, but then we have to invite Cas too. It’s only fair he gets to join in if you’re bringing Eileen,” Dean blurts excitedly, already daydreaming about spending time in the sand and sun with the people he loves most. It takes a few too many beats for his brain to catch the slip and he quickly adds, “It’s not like I have a girlfriend, so it’s only fair I get to invite my best friend. Plus, you know, with his grace thing, some R&R might do him good. And if not, then at least a case will take his mind off it.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure. Of course, Cas should come.” Sam makes a funny face and looks like he wants to say more, but mercifully stays silent.

“It’s settled then, we’re headed seaside. I love New Jersey!” Dean whoops as he hustles to his room to dig out swim trunks while Sam lets out a groan.

---

“Ughhh! I hate New Jersey!” Dean growls as Baby inches another few feet forward before stopping again. This vacation case is not going at all how he planned, and they haven’t even made it to the beach yet. He tries to tell himself that he’s only frustrated because of the standstill traffic they’re caught in, but he knows it has more to do with the angel in his passenger seat who’s been silent for nearly the entire trip. Normally he doesn’t mind the silence with Cas.

That’s probably because, normally, it feels peaceful. Not this odd tension. I don’t even know why he’s being weird. People are usually happy to be invited on vacation, Dean stews, gritting his teeth as the truck in front of him bursts forward a few hundred feet only to grind to a halt as another car cuts it off trying to merge into the marginally faster moving lane.

“Jesus! If everyone could stop being an asshole, we could all get where we’re going sometime this year!” Dean shouts, funneling his mounting frustration into road rage.

“I told you the traffic was going to get bad,” Sam huffs over the phone. “It’s your fault you spent so long grocery shopping.”

“Whatever, you’ll thank me when you see how expensive everything is on the island!” Dean can practically hear Sam’s eye roll and hopes Sam can hear his responding one. “Anyway, you guys are probably almost there, right?”

“Yeah, we should be just a few miles away-”

“There’s the bridge!” Eileen excited shout drowns out whatever his brother had been about to say. “I’m so excited; it’s been at least three or four years since I’ve been to a beach.”

“Wow, you really did make good time. Okay so the key should be under the mat if you want to go in and start getting settled. Don’t expect too much though. It’s pretty small and Mom’s friend said it hadn’t really been updated since we were there last, which is at over two decades so...”

“Dean, I’m sure it will be fine. I still can’t believe that Mom and Dad actually took us on vacation here. What was I anyway, like a month old?”

Dean grins as he recalls nearly faded memories of the four of them. Snippets of sand, waves, boardwalk lights, sticky fingers, toothy grins, and a huge umbrella covering his mom and baby Sam flash through his mind. Some are so strong like his father lifting him over the waves and some are so faded they are more feelings than tangible memory, but they’re all still precious.

“We came late July, so you were almost three months, smartass. But yeah, what are the odds and that Dad still had the contact info in his journal and it would still be available to rent on short notice? Anyway, given the rate we’re going, which is zero, we’ll probably be an hour or so behind you.”

“Okay, well, we'll see you when you get here, jerk,” Sam initiates their standard farewell, and Dean silently curses him for it.

“See you when we get there, bitch,” Dean responds reluctantly. The line goes dead, and he heaves a frustrated sigh now that the conversation with his brother isn’t distracting him from the traffic or the blue gaze he’d felt swing his way partway through the conversation.

Another twenty minutes of mind-numbing traffic goes by before Dean’s skin starts to itch. He swaps tapes then switches to the radio, but nothing helps quell his mounting awareness of the solemn, blue-eyed angel in his periphery.

“Dean?” Cas says so abruptly that Dean nearly jerks his foot off the brake. “Something’s been bothering me.”

“Really? I couldn’t tell,” Dean tries to tease but an exasperated edge sneaks in.

Cas frowns, but goes on, “Why am I coming with you?”

“Why wouldn’t you? You’re part of the team and we’ve got a potential case,” Dean quickly delivers the line he definitely did not practice.

“Dean.”

Dean makes the mistake of meeting Cas’ gaze, and he gulps at the intensity of it.

“Sam and Eileen are a couple, not to mention seasoned hunters,” Cas states before his words soften. “I’m effectively human again. How did you put it? A baby in a trench coat.”

Dean cringes at having those words flung back at him. Cas’ shoulders slump and he sounds like he really believes he has no place on this trip simply because he can’t access his grace, which is unacceptable.

“Cas, I should have never said that. So, you might not be able to do your normal angel stuff but-” Dean starts.

“Then why-?”

Dean cuts Cas off with a growl and a smack to the steering wheel.

“You’d know if you’d let me finish. Christ, you’re here because I want you here! I want to finish up this case quickly then relax on a beach with my family like we deserve after everything we’ve been through. I want to hang out with my best friend when Sam and Eileen go off on dates instead of being left alone like the sad schmuck I am!”

Like what you read? You can find the rest of the chapter here on AO3

Rating: Explicit

Chapters: 1/? (hopefully 9 😂)

Chapter Word Count: ~6,000

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Case Fic, Established Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Beach Case, Cannon when convenient, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con (Dean and background characters), Non-Consensual Touching (Not between Dean and Cas), Hurt/Comfort, I promise it's not as dark as it sounds, Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, clueless Sam Winchester, Chick-Flick Moments, Cannon typical misunderstandings, Angst?, One day I'll learn how to tag, WIP, JackieDeeArt's Hot Summer Art 2024 (Supernatural), Hot Summer Art, Greek Mythology if you Squint, No Beta, Everyone is bad with words, Except Eileen who is the only emotionally stable person for miles, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Angel Grace Dysfunction

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol.5 Sakamaki Laito Animate Tokuten CD

Original title: DIABOLIK LOVERS Para-Selene Vol. 5 逆巻ライト アニメイト 各巻購入特典ドラ

Source: Diabolik Lovers Para-Selene Vol. 5 Animate Tokuten CD

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Hirakawa Daisuke 

Translator’s note: Bowling master Laito kind of threw me for a loop, but it also makes sense? Like he strikes me as the type of guy who would be unexpected skilled at a bunch of random things. In general, I’ve been really enjoying these ‘date scenario’ CDs. They actually did a good job making every one of them unique and choosing fun locations for each boy. I know the chances of us getting another DL anime are really slim, but if they do decide to make one, I really hope it’s not a season 3 based on DF or LE but a bunch of OVAs instead based on the drama CDs.

“...What’s this? There’s quite a lot of people here despite it being so late at night. I guess bowling is pretty popular. I thought I’d be able to do all sorts of fun things with my Bitch-chan, such a shame! ーー Ah! Our lane is over here. Ah! Check out the monitor over there! It actually displays our names as ‘Laito’ and ‘Bitch’! I love your name. It really stands out amongst the others! I would have loved to be able to input ‘Bitch-chan’ instead, honestly. I felt pretty bummed when they told me that I could only input up to five characters. Right, Bitch-chan?”

You frown. 

“...? You’ve been quiet this whole time. What’s wrong? Did you want me to add the ‘-chan’ as well?”

You shake your head.

“Then what’s the matter?”

You complain about him wanting to come here. 

“Eeh~? Is it really that strange? Even I feel like playing a game of bowling every now and then. There’s no ulterior motive behind it!”

You squint your eyes. 

“Oh dear. You’re still suspicious of me? ...Fine. I’ll fess up the truth. ーー We actually gave here today because I wanted to do you a favor.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“Mmh. We’re usually active at night, so most places where high schoolers like to hang out are closed by that hour, no? So we’re limited in the things we can do, right? Well, you might be fine with that, but you’re still a blossoming high school girl, so I figured that you might fantasize about the kind of cute dates depicted in shoujo manga and such. ーー I thought it wouldn’t hurt to go on a typical high schoolers’ date for once, so I started looking around for places which are open 24/7, which brings us here today. How’s that? Do you understand now?”

You nod.

“Nfu~ I’m glad. With that misunderstanding lifted...Now that we’re here anyway, why don’t we get started? I’m up first, aren’t I? Let me think...Which ball should I pick? ーー Ah. This one will do.”

*Thud* 

“It has the same color as your hair. I’ll throw it as hard as I can, imagining its your head instead~”

You protest.

“Nfu~ Oh come on, you may say that, but I know you’re happy deep down! You love to get pushed around by me, don’t you? ...Ah! When it’s your turn, why don’t you pick a ball in the same color as my hair? I don’t dislike the idea of being at your mercy either~”

You refuse. 

“Geez...You’d be able to get so much more of of life if you just enjoy it as one of many fetishes. You’re so easily embarrassed. Fine. ...I’ll throw the ball, okay?”

Laito faces towards the lane.

“Let me think...I’m supposed to throw it leaning down...or from up top? 

You seem surprised he has never bowled before. 

“Eh!? Bitch-chan...Do you really think I’ve come to this sorta place before? Today’s obviously my first bowling experience!”

*Rustle*

“But don’t worry! Experience isn’t what matters...It’s all about chemistry...!”

Laito throws his ball.

*Clatter clatter*

“Huh? I knocked all of them over. Is this what you’d call a ‘strike’?”

You seem very impressed.

“...Nfu~ I got praised~ Anyway, is this really so amazing?”

You nod.

“Heeh...I wonder if I am a natural at bowling? Control is key, so it might be the perfect game some someone who is very technique-minded such as myself. In that case, I’m quite curious what you are capable of, Bitch-chan~”

You frown.

“Now, now, no need to be so modest. Show me what you’re made of. Go give it a shot! ...Nfu~ I’m very much looking forward to this.”

You walk towards the lane.

“Break a leg, Bitch-chan~! Throw it with everything you’ve got!” 

You throw the ball. 

*Thud thud* 

“Nfu~ Ah-ahー I guess the excitement ended up being her downfall. What a shame. ...They call this a ‘gutter’, don’t they? I can’t believe you didn’t even manage to knock over one of them. ...Ah, come on. One more try, no?”

*Thud* 

You try once more.

*THUD*

“Ahー You really suck at this, don’t you?”

You seem disappointed.

“No need to be so sad. My strike might have been just a fluke. I’ll go next, so watch me, okay?”

Laito walks up to the lane again. 

“...Hah!”

*CLATTER*

“Aah~ I guess it wasn’t just beginner’s luck! I might have a knack for bowling after all! ...In that case, Bitch-chan, why don’t you come over here with your ball?”

You pick up your ball and approach him.

“Okay! Let’s practice how to hold the ball!”

*Rustle*

“Geez, no need to be so surprised. We came here to treat you to a good time today, so I’ll teach you very gently~ Come on, hold the ball.”

*Rustle*

“Hmー That won’t do.”

*Rustle rustle*

“You need to stretch your arm a little more.”

You try to scoot away from him, asking why he is touching you.

“What are you saying? I’m fixing your posture! I think I proved earlier that my bowling skills far exceed yours, so don’t you think it’s in your best interest to take my advice?” 

You frown.

“I mean, it’d be kind of difficult to tell you what to do without clinging to you like this, is it? I’m positive that it’d be so much easier to teach you good posture through direct touch!”

*Rustle*

“Come on, lean back against me and stand straight.”

*Rustle*

“Don’t move! You want to be able to throw the ball properly don’t you?”

You tell him to move away. 

“How mean, telling me to back off! I’m only trying to show my good heart by teaching you! I mean, if you lose this duel against me, you’ll get punished, remember?”

You seem surprised by that. 

“I mean, duh? Didn’t I tell you? All games have some kind of punishment game attached to it, don’t they? You have to expect those kind of things! By the way, now that you’ve already thrown once, you’re part of the game, so there’s no backing out~”

You ask him if he would punish you right here in public.

“Fufu~ Why would you ask that? ーー I get it. You’re curious about what this punishment would entail, aren’t you~? Were you perhaps hoping that I’d suck your blood~?”

You deny it.

“Nfu~ No point in trying to deny it~ I bet you imagined my fangs sinking deeply into your fair nape, didn’t you? Aah~ I suppose I have no other choice. That wasn’t the plan, but I’ll live up to your expectations and make the punishment something deliciously painful~ Please look forward to this punishment...which will turn both your body and soul to putty~”

You try to make a run for it.

*Rustle rustle* 

“Ahaha~ Oh come on, hold up! I told you that there’s no way out, didn’t you? You better behave...or I’ll do it right here, right now.”

You immediately stop resisting. 

“Nfu~ Good girl. Besides, there’s only a 50% chance that you’ll get punished, so just remember that you could always win and try to make the best out of it!”

You sigh in defeat.

“Well then, let’s continue your lesson. Now, where’s your spine?”

*Rustle*

“Nfu~ Found it~ Mm~

*Rustle rustle* 

“What are you saying? I’m helping you straighten your back! By tracing my fingers across your spine like this...See? You pushed out your chest which improved your stance! Try to hold this proper posture, okay?”

You ask him if he knows what hte proper posture for bowling is.

“Eh? No idea! How am I supposed to know what is the ‘right posture’ for bowling when I’m still a newbie at the game myself.”

You ask him what he has been teaching you then. 

“You’re just so terrible at this, I’ve just been giving you random points and then it was up to you whether or not you’d take my words for granted. ...Anyway, ahaha~ They’re really hard to miss when you’re standing looking straight ahead like that.”

You tilt your head to side.

“Over here. These bite marks on・your・neck~”

You squeak.

“They’re the proof of the love we share with each other every night~ It’s too bad you can’t really see them unless you move this close. I promise I’ll make them stand out even more by biting you nice and hard when we get back home, so rest assured~”

You complain. 

“You’re adorable when you pretend to dislike something. However, no losing on purpose because you want to get bitten ,okay?”

You insist that you would never do that. 

“I wonder~? You’re a naughty girl who seduces other by feigning discomfort. You want me to completely overpower you, run away with the victory and inflict pain upon you as a result, don’t you? And then you’d try to play innocent by saying ‘Oh I don’t actually want this, but it can’t be helped because I lost the game~', won’t you? ...Sure. Two can play that game. I like that sort of thing as well after all. I’ll make sure to slowly drive you into a corner...and then tease the living hell out・of・you~”

Your cheeks grow hot.

“Oh? What’s wrong? ...Nfu~ You’re flustered, aren’t you? Oh come, you are so shy~ ...Anyway, let’s get this game going! Try throwing the ball following my tips from earlier.”

You nod and throw the ball. 

*CLATTER CLATTER*

“Wow~ You actually knocked them all over! I’m shocked!” 

You rejoice.

“Nfu~ Congratulations, Bitch-chan. Judging from your sheer excitement, could it be that this is the first time you’ve ever hit a strike?”

You nod.

“Mmh, mmh~ I’m happy for you! In that case, why don’t we end on a positive note and wrap up the match right here? It’s obvious you’ll lose after all.”

You protest.

“I mean, even if continue to bowl one strike after the other now, you already threw a gutter once, so you have no chance at getting ahead of me.There’s no way I’d give away the win now.”

You shake your head. 

“Ah~ We can keep going until I have a slip-up if you want, but in return, your punishment will get more and more severe, the longer the game lasts. I believe you’d be much better off admitting defeat right now and simply heading home with me. 

I’m fine with either scenario. We’re here on a date today for you after all. You can choose whether you want to call it a day right now and quickly get your punishment, or if you’d rather have me tend to you thoroughly after I’ve messed with you a little longer.”

You call him out on being unreasonable. 

“Nfu~ Exactly. I might be messed up. But you love this crazy guy, don’t you? In which case, you have no other choice but to play along with me and slowly become insane as well.”

You sigh.

“Fufu~ Since you sighed in defeat, does that mean you’ve made your choice?”

You choose to go home. 

“Nfu~ Sure. As you wish. Well then...Shall we head home, Bitch-chan~? I’ll treat you to plenty of the good stuff which you love oh-so much~”

ーー THE END ーー

[equal-shipping]

Kaishin Reveal and What It Means For You

Okay I need everyone to keep their shit together because I think this is being blown out of proportion. What follows is a quick rant about what the hell is going in the DCMK fandom and what is going on in fandom in general cause I don’t know why I’m seeing so many people lose their shit over something that was most likely going to happen followed by a quick lesson by a ‘fandom elder’ on how to ignore canon and make a ship your own. 

Spoilers ahead and whatnot. 

April 11th the DCMK 27 movie came out and information was revealed about how Kaito Kuroba and Shinichi Kudou are now cousins. Twitter lost its mind, Tumblr lost its mind, Discord servers are being created and now everyone is wondering what the hell should they do. 

I’m going to be honest, if you are a creator for KaiShin, please don’t delete your work. 

Either archive it or orphan it but please don’t delete it.

You put time and effort into this, into something you love, and just because the mangaka is so SO set in his ways of every single ship being friends to lovers does not mean you have to follow the same format. This doesn’t make you an incest shipper or whatever, it doesn’t make you a person who you don’t want to be, it’s just something that you had no idea of knowing was going to happen and I hope that you can look back at it fondly. 

Anyways, for those enjoying Kaishin on the sidelines all I’m going to say is Pick a Lane. 

Ignore Canon 

If you are an old time shipper then this may not be new for you. I mean Gosho literally had another ship that turned out to be cousins like at this point it’s ‘who is my cousin’ being played in the entire Detective Conan manga. You either already guessed it, are an active incest shipper (hi, hello, tis a me) or you are used to your favourites dying. This situation is no fucking different. 

Wolfwood is dead, in my head he is alive and well and treating his Plant husband right. 

Sora is missing, not in my head where he is kissing Roxas and Riku and Kairi and whoever else wants to get at the sunshine of the KH universe. 

Ben is dead, NOT IN MY REYLO FANFICTION. 

If you are a person who actively kept up with the manga or actively kept up with the show it is possible to ignore canon because they do not suddenly go super deep into being cousins and knowing about each other. They both don’t know if they are cousins or else the jig would be up immediately and the manga would be finished. You CAN ignore canon and if Kaishin is a ship that brings you joy and just serotonin production I implore you guys to choose this lane if you still want to enjoy Kaishin. 

It’s by far the healthiest option and teaches you how to curate your own fandom experience. 

Alternate Universes and You 

I was in the Hannibal fandom for a while and I clearly remember the ‘Hannibal is not a Cannibal’ tag on AO3. I thought it was hilarious but I would never dare to make fun of it because that is a prime example of CURATING YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE. 

Here are some examples on how you can start tagging: 

Not Cousins AU

Kaito and Shinichi aren’t family 

No Family Relation AU 

Pre Kaishin reveal 

Or just make a quick blurb of how you mean this drawing/fic to be perceived. Again, this is your experience and you get to make the space you want to make. It’s up to you to make/interact with the content that makes you most comfortable. Again, if you want to delve into AU’s then that is up to you and I think it’s a pretty good lane for those who just feel weird about the whole reveal. 

Stepping Away

Your moral values are your own, people, and I am in no position or even want to judge them. If you feel uncomfortable about this now, see your love for Kaishin diminishing because of the reveal or just don’t see yourself shipping Kaishin in the future then you are more than capable of measuring your response and stepping away from the ship entirely for your own health. 

Is it going to be sad? Yes, but they are fictional and I recommend having an idea of what you have in your life outside of fandom that makes you happy that you can focus on as you go through this. College, work, whatever hobbies you may have taken up–hell put all your eggs into another ship that you know also brings you joy! 

Do not let this dictate your day or your month or your year. This is just fandom, you don’t have to make a big statement unless asked about it, you do not have to justify your decision to anybody, curate.your.fandom.experience. 

I’m going to end this with a repeat of what I just said. 

This is all fictional. We are playing in a fictional sandbox where we can all make whatever we want in any capacity and as long as it is tagged correctly then nobody’s lines have to be crossed. If you just started enjoying Kaishin, find out how you still want to enjoy it or step away. If you have shipped Kaishin for a while, do the same fucking thing! The east side of the fandom is having a field day with the movie, why can’t the west have some fun too?! 

I’m going to ship Kaishin (however all my reblogs will be moved to my other blog for incest-y stuff and just other content people may not vibe with in general) and hell I might just join the Kaishin Big Bang for the hell of it because I have been shipping this ship since I was 15 years old and I’m about to be 30 so….I’m staying fucking seated cause you aren’t getting me out of this chair, Aoyama, you aren’t getting me to ship Aoko with anyone other an Akako so suck on that. 

Be safe, be smart and curate y’all.

[little-worm-grant]

Jake's pov: Little Detour

Jake Lockley & Steven Grant

665 words / Masterlist.

If you like what you see, leave a like or reblog and follow me ♥

Summary: Steven's not at all pleased to discover the other alter still working for Khonshu. Jake's determined to show him he's not as bad as he seems.

Previously: Jake's pov: Night Shift

Driving home, Jake called it an early night. Couldn’t do anything while Steven was around and acting like he was the devil. “Old birds left you be, hasn’t he?” Taking a turn, the streets were quieter in the evenings but the city never slept.

“Guess someone forgot to include me on that little deal of yours, no?” Jake carried no maliciousness in his tone. More on the edge of sounding playful. Kept glancing to the rear view mirror which held the other’s face. This was his first time around someone from his head that wasn’t his own damn voice. It was interesting, to say the least. This how Marc felt? No wonder he was so strung up all the time.

He wasn’t going to focus on much else with Steven around. “This what it’s normally like in our head? Can’t say I blame Marc for wanting to use you like a stress toy.” Just making conversation. Keeping his eyes on the road. The occasional glance back to check Steven was still there.

“You don’t need to say it. I see how you look at me. Like I’d make a meal out of you si?” Jake gave a toothy grin and shrugged nonchalantly, “There’s still time.” He didn’t think he needed to justify why he hurt people, but Steven seemed to think he did so he entertained it.

“It’s because I know I have to, but I don’t do it for Khonshu.” He wrinkled his nose. Khonshu was exactly like a grizzly parent he’d have to endure over Chanukah. Be their entertainment without much say or choice. Their old lady was always worse around the holidays. “They were bad people who do worse if I don’t step in. You’d do the same, mi alma, so don’t go acting all cute on me now. Safer for everyone if I step in.”

He laughed light when he felt Steven try to shove himself to the front. A little impressed the small firecracker was still trying to overpower him. “Oh you’re a bribón, knew there was a fire in you somewhere. You want the body? All pushy and not asking. Here. You drive.” Jake pushed Steven the rest of the way into the front. Allowing the idiot to see his own mistake of wanting the body when he couldn’t drive. Jake didn’t leave him to figure it out alone, words firm but kind.

“Take a left. Need to move over the left lane. Car coming behind you. Pull in after it. There you go. You’re getting it. Red light, start to brake. The other pedal.” The car jolted to a stop and Jake chuckled from the mirror. “You did good, not your first try, no? But that’s enough.” He took over the body as easily as he’d given it up. A show of what he was capable of doing any time he wanted. Giving Steven a look in the mirror. “Just take it easy mijo. We’ll be back home before you know it. I need to make a stop first. I’ll behave.”

He parked the cab up on the streets, threw some coins into the parking meter and headed down to a local bar. Some of the smokers outside greeted him and offered him a cigarette. Jake took it and put it into the back of his ear just below his cap. Saying he was just stopping by. Stepping inside was greeted with a whole new wave of people happy to see him. Friends. People he’d helped some way or another. Networks of informants he’d been building up.

Jake was essentially pulled around the room with friends wanting to check in and say hi before he headed to the bathroom. Only two rooms he was able to lock the door and give himself a little privacy. Going to the mirror instead of the toilet. “You see it now? What I do. So go ahead and blame me. I can take it. But know I’m not your stress toy either.”

[detectivereads]

Superman Vs Meshi vol 3 By Satoshi Miyagawa & Kai Kitago

5/5

This post is for fan entertainment, I’m not being paid.

Click here to see Vol 1

Click here to see vol 2

Ok, when reading the first chapter, I remember why for such a long time I didn’t really like Superman, but maybe I just didn’t like the people around him. Because the first chapter has Clark Kent and Lois Lane talking about the last chapter of volume 2 about her article that she was told to write.  Clark comes out to Lois and tells her that he is Superman, but I guess Superman can do a mind reset and he changes his mind about letting Lois know about his identity and reset her mind. Lois now doesn’t remember the Superman is Clark Kent. But you want to know how he does it…with a kiss.

(*Cue table flipping and punching the dry wall in anger*)

I know I haven’t followed Superman in any form, and any knowledge I do know is from the Justice League Animated series or any other cartoon, but when can he do that????

Now cut to later when Superman is with Batman at a very popular restaurant, Superman is still thinking about the kiss that he doesn’t remember anything about the food he has eaten (that is the real crime right there) Batman really wants another hamburger streak but he doesn’t want to wait in the long line and he even contemplates about the restaurant but stops because he doesn’t want to be a jerk and cuts in front of people who were waiting their turn.

So, Superman popping a mint into his mouth and resets Batman’s mind, (before you ask no Super doesn’t kiss Batman. Apparently, he can reset minds with his breath see picture above thank you @deathmetalunicorn1 for helping me with photo.)

So, with no memory of standing in line, Batman and Superman get back in line to eat hamburger steak.

In some of the later chapters and huge fight happens with Doomsday and Superman dies.

However, no one told Batman, so getting a special artifact (Mother Box) and it opens up to place where certain items are needed to help Batman make the life saving cure: Okonomiyaki. Which upon completing the dish, and the smell going over to Superman he wakes up.

So, the breakdown of this, Superman dies, and Batman finds it weird that his body is not decaying so this leads Batman to suspect that Superman is not dead. So, with the help of Mother Box, it opens a boom tube to a Japanese grocery store when Batman gets the items to Okonomiyaki, and lo and behold Mother Box doubles as a microwave. So, Okonomiyaki has saved Superman life.

Later in the book we get to see Supergirl, and she is just Superman she loves Japanese food.

Now we have another Lex Luthor chapter, Superman and Lex are talking about Darkseid which Superman had hope that Lex would join forces with the League which Lex flat out refuses and says he has to leave to go to a big fancy lunch, when leaving he happens to see Superman going into one of his buildings and buying bento.

Now this bit where Lex was spying on Superman picking out his bento, I was really questioning Lex’s sanity. Then he busted in when he sees Superman taking a cold bento instead of fresh bento. (Pretty much they have lunch together.)

The last chapter of the book is of the heroes fighting Darkseid. During the fight Darkseid hurt Batman. So, both Superman and Flash do flash point and sends Superman to an alternate time where Lois Lane is Chief editor of the Daily Planet. The overall goal is to fight Darkseid.

I won’t spoil the rest of the book because I thought the ending of this volume was well done.

As I said I don’t know if there will be more (I hope there will be) but for now it looks like a 3-volume series. 

When I first started this series, I thought ‘Oh lord Superman is a dork” but as I got engrossed with the manga, I still think he is a dork but I think I could see myself having friendly banter about food with him.

I would recommend this series to a foodie or a superhero fan.

[huffle-dork]

Swap Beyond the Crystalverse Chapter 16: Resurgence

Co-written with @crystalninjaphoenix Read Swapboys | Read Crystal’s AUs

Other Multiverse Stories: SITCV | SATCV | GITHV

SBTCV Masterpost

Bro lands hard on an asphalt surface. It's evening, just after sunset and he's arrived on a small one-lane road. It cuts through green hills, and along it is an old, crumbling stone wall, about waist-high. There's a rickety set of telephone lines running along the other side. 

Bro groans as he pushes himself up and rubs at his head. “M-Motherfucker…!” He curses to himself. 

There is no sign of anyone. Except for a single car, parked right in the middle of the road--there's no room for it to pull to the side--with its headlights on. It's old, gray with a couple dents. And from here he can see someone in the driver's seat.

Bro blinks as his eyes adjust to the new scene, blinking in confusion at the car. He looks around to see they’re alone. “…this is something out of a horror movie-“ he mumbles.

The person in the driver's seat of the car doesn't react to his sudden appearance. Actually... he's not moving at all. Wait a second. Is he wearing a hat?

Bro stays there for a second. Then he groans and starts to walk over, “if this gets me killed Alt is gonna be sooo mad at me.” He walks over to the car and tries to get a closer look at who’s in the drivers seat. “Umm.. hello?”

The man has his eyes closed, but as Bro walks closer, disrupting the light of the headlights, he opens them up and tilts his cap back. 

It's... another Chase. He's wearing a gray shirt with a blue holster--but no gun--and has longer hair and a thick beard. His eyes widen as he sees Bro, and he goes a bit pale.

Bro blinks a bit in surprise then tries to smile and waves as he gets a bit closer, “uh… hey! You okay, dude?”

This Chase does not look reassured at all. He instinctively tries to back up, but of course, he's sitting in a car seat. He reaches for the keys in the car and tries to turn it, but the engine stalls. Panicking, he looks at Bro again. "The fuck are you trying to do this time?!" he says, loud enough that he can be heard through the glass of the car windows. "T-trying to freak me out with my own face?!"

“W-What?!” Bro exclaims and quickly shakes his hands in front of him, “N-No way dude! I genuinely wanted to know if you were okay! I-is your car broken? …I dunno how to fix it but I can probably get you help!”

"Oh, so it's a trick! Well I'm not fucking falling for this!" Chase tries to start the car again, but it still stalls. "Did you do this?! I-it was fine when I parked!"

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bro says, “I’m not trying to trick you I just- fell here! I don’t even know where we are!!”

"We're--!" Chase stops, looking around. "A-actually, uh... I'm not sure. I just sort of... drove." He looks back at Bro warily. "I-I'm not falling for it. I'm not falling for it." He says that more to himself than anything else. Bro didn't notice it before, but he has dark bags under his eyes, and his cheeks are a bit hollow.

Bro’s face falls and then he sighs, “Look dude- what can I do to prove to you that I’m not… whoever you think I am? Cuz I can at least tell you from experience… you’re - Chase Brody, cuz that’s who I am.” He puts a hand on his chest. “But I’m… I’m also a hero- I don’t go around tricking random people on the road.”

Chase shakes his head. "I-I don't--you can't--You're not me, you're just--pretending to be someone else, I-I can't be fooled, I--" He grabs at his hair. "Can't you just leave me alone?!" His breathing is speeding up.

Bro backs up and holds up his hands, “Jesus dude! Just… try to breathe! I’m not gonna hurt you! I don’t want to! But if I’m… I’m distressing you I’ll- try to see if I can find someone to help, okay?” He backs up more, not sure what else he can do before pulling out his phone. Maybe he has service…? Or maybe he can try to get Alt to help… he might be able to like- fix this car better than he could.

Unfortunately, it looks like they're in an area without any service. They really must be out in the middle of nowhere. 

Chase tries taking some deep breaths, watching Bro with wide eyes. His initial fear is slowly tempered by confusion. His eyes dart up and down. "W...wait," he breathes. "You're... not..." He trails off. "You're like... an actual person. Not... oh god." He laughs. "Y-you probably think I'm crazy now."

Bro blinks back at Chase then laughs quietly, “I mean…. Maybe a little? But I’m sure it’s for a good reason… are you in trouble?”

Chase laughs darkly. "That's the least of it. Fuck, bro." He leans back, rubbing his eyes. "It's a long story, and you're probably not gonna believe me.

Bro goes to hop onto the stone wall and leans forward. “I dunno dude, I’m seen a lot of impossible things lately. I’ll believe most anything- besides… seems like we both are kinda stuck here. For now, at least.”

Chase stares at him. Then he laughs. "Yeah. Sure. Why not." The back of his head hits the seat's headrest, and he rolls down the window a crack so Bro can hear him better. "If I told you that I was being haunted by some fucking... glitchy energy being, and also this weirdo science place that I just escaped from, would you believe that?"

“Yeah,” Bro says right away, “the place is called IRIS I’m guessing?”

Chase's eyes snap wide open. He obviously wasn't expecting Bro to actually believe that, much less mention IRIS. "H-how do you know that?! Were--were you there, too?!"

“No I’ve never been here before,” Bro says nonchalantly, shrugging. “But I’ve been to about a million different universes now and the main science guys to worry about are usually IRIS.” He kicks his feet, “I wanna say that the glitchy guy… god I don’t want to say Anti actually- but glitching is usually his thing…”

"You know him too?!" Chase gasps, sitting up straight. "You--What are you talking about?! Universes? IRIS and An--him? Wh-who the hell are you?! Are you really--me?"

“Yup,” Bro says, popping the p. “I’m Chase Brody, but back home I’m a hero known as Bro Fantastic. Right now- me and my brother have been traveling through different universes, trying to stop another Anti from finding a way to delete them. He just… tossed us straight into this one.” He sighs heavily, “I thought we were close to being done.”

"...h-holy shit, dude." Chase stares at Bro blankly. "That's... that's a lot." He shakes his head. "I-I don't have a brother... and I'm not a hero. Though I used to run this YouTube channel called Bro Average, it's kind of the same name." A pause. "I'm... I'm sorry, I gotta process that, it's... a lot."

“That’s okay dude, I know it’s a lot.” Bro laughs lightly. “I’m kinda an anomaly when it comes to other Chases so I bet it’s weird to see me.” He hops down from the stone wall and stretches, “but you know- you don’t gotta be stuck here. I can fly us somewhere safer- maybe see if we can get your car a tow?” He grins.

"F-fly?" Chase repeats, eyes wide.

Bro grins and hops into the air, floating a bit off the ground. “Fly!”

"Jesus fucking hell!" Chase unlocks the car door and hurries out, looking up at Bro and gaping. "Fucking--hero?! Superhero?! Holy shit! God!"

“Superhero!” Bro beams then lands back on the ground. “Sooo- not everyone likes flying but we can like- I dunno find a nearby pub or something. Somewhere so you’re not stuck out here in the dark cuz dude? This is how you get murdered by a serial killer-“ he laughs. 

Chase frowns. "I don't think he would let me get murdered by a serial killer... He... got me out of IRIS. I don't think he wants anyone besides him to torment me." 

Bro knits his eyebrows in concern, “Jesus… this Anti sounds intense…” 

Chase shakes his head. "That's dark. Um. Anyway. I-I guess it's better than nothing? Hang on. I want to try it one last time." He goes back into the car and tries turning the keys again. But nothing. He sighs. "Gotta be an engine problem, since the headlights are working." He turns the keys, putting them in his pocket, and grabs a backpack that looks to be stuffed full. "Alright. Let's try this."

Bro grins at Chase and then goes to scoop him up. “No swear bro! Hopefully there’s something close by! Let’s go!” And then he bursts into the air, holding Chase tight as they take off into the night sky.

Chase yelps, but then clutches him tight. Huh... this... isn't so bad. It all seems so small from down here.

 ----------- 

Alt lands in a very awkward space. A bathtub. In a bathroom, of course. 

Alt yelps in surprise as he lands fully prone in the bathtub. He sputters in confusion then glitches to his feet, holding himself up against the wall. 

The walls here are bright white tile, and the small, generic-looking room is lit by a yellowish light around the mirror. There's a towel rack behind the toilet filled with white towels. The counter is filled with a handful of toiletries, toothbrushes and deodorant and such being the only bit of personalization in this generic room. The door is slightly ajar, and voices come through the small gap, too distant to decipher. 

"Are you okay?" Anti asks from Alt's phone.

“Y-Yeah I think so…” he mumbles to Anti. He looks around, “t-that fucker… can you tell where he took us…?”

"I heard him say something before we fully disappeared," Anti says. "Based on it, I am 90% sure he shot us to the other end of this multiverse branch. Either we are in U-0803018CC or one of its various different timelines." He pauses. "Okay. Alt. The version of us here... he's bad. Probably not as bad in intention as the one who sent us here. But still bad. I don't think the guys here will react well to seeing me..."

Alt blinks and takes out his phone to talk to Anti as he goes to sit on the edge of the bathtub. “…what did you hear him say? What’s up with this world’s Anti?”

"Something about going back to the start," Anti says. "U-0803018CC is the oldest universe on this branch of the multiverse. So I think that could fit. And this world's version of us... Imagine me, specifically me, but evil."

“…that’s hard to imagine, not gonna lie.” Alt says with wide eyes, “…so… computer-y energy glitch that can possess and manipulate tech… and is very powerful?” He pales a bit, “…that’s not good…”

"Exactly." Anti nods. "I... might be able to shield you from his view. But I'm still not at full power, while he doubtless is. So we should hope we don't get his attention." 

“…it’s fine.” Alt says, trying to put on a brave face. Though… the last time he took on something like this Anti… he got possessed by him. He’s not eager to relive something like that. “I-I’m sure… all we need to do is find Chase and we can ask Sam to get us out of here and back to JJ’s world… then this can finally be over.” He tugs on his necklace.

Anti briefly manifests, looking out the ajar bathroom door, then returns to the phone. "Looks like we're in a hotel room, by the way."

Alt blinks towards the door and winces. “…I’m gonna fucking startle whoever is out there so bad-“

"It's this world's JJ, Schneep, and Marvin," Anti reports. "And... yeah, you are. Unless you want to try to avoid them entirely, but I do think they could be some help. Safety in numbers, and all that. Just... prepare for bad reactions." 

“…fuck you and your logic…” Alt grumbles. He warily looks to the door and slowly pulls up his mask. Then, he starts to creep towards the door and tries to look through. 

Across from the bathroom door is a closet with some suitcases inside. To the right is the hotel room's door, and to the immediate left is a small kitchenette with a microwave and mini fridge. Beyond that tiny kitchen space is the rest of the room. The hotel room has two king size beds, both of which have ruffled blankets and wrinkled pillows. There's a nightstand with a lamp in between them, and a TV on the wall across from them. A dresser sits beneath the TV. A desk sits in one corner, and an uncomfortable-looking armchair and a lamp sit in the other. The far wall is all one big window, with an open doorway leading out into a small balcony area, barely big enough for the table and chair outside on it. The evening air is cool as it comes in. 

"If you are going to sit out there, you could at least close the door so that the temperature stays the same," says a man sitting at the desk. He's wearing glasses, and also a green sweater with the symbol of a caduceus embroidered in a small spot near the left. 

"Aww, but then I wouldn't be able to hear your lovely voice!" says the man sitting out on the balcony. He's wearing a long-sleeved blue shirt, and has wavy brown hair that's not-quite-chin-length. 

Hotel rooms always get cold, anyway, the fresh air might be an improvement, signs the man sitting in the armchair. He's wearing a button-up shirt and a blue vest, and has a thick mustache.

Alt swallows shakily then backs up and looks back down at his phone, whispering, “…I don’t wanna do this- Can’t I just… go out and look for Chase? If the Anti here is that bad they’re not gonna trust me one bit!” 

"Well you can try," Anti says. "But they're going to notice you."

Alt makes a frustrated noise and stuffs his phone back in his pocket. Then he starts to pace, “Okay okay- let’s try to keep the glitching down and…! What’s a believable reason for someone to just- show up in a bathroom?? I can’t make an illusion of anyone they know because I don’t really know these guys! Why did I have to fall in the bathroom???” he whisper screams to himself.

"Hey. Hey. Deep breaths." Anti manifests, putting a hand on Alt's shoulder. "Can't do much if you panic, right? Look, try not to bury yourselves in lies you can't keep up. Maybe say something about you being a magician--they know about those guys. No illusions. Imperfect illusions will stand out to a practiced eye." He gives him a small smile. "You can handle this."

Alt glitches back as Anti touches him and tries to keep his breathing under control. Then he bares his teeth a second and throws Anti’s hand off. “Y-You don’t get it-! This trip… it’s been easier because Antis have been good or not around but I- the rest of these guys? Every universe… they’re my friends! They have my friends’ faces and I… I can’t- I can’t stand to see them look at me like I’m him-!” he says, his voice getting a little choked up. “It’s too hard…! It hurts every single time!”

Anti shakes his head. "You're right. I probably don't get it. But I can understand it. I know all about these evil Antis. And I know... what it's like to have a friend look at you like you're a monster." He hesitates. "Back in my own world... that's what they made my Jack think I was. My closest friend. He thought I wanted to torture him. I-it's different now that they've used a different spell... but that went on for a long time. And... you're right. It hurt every time." He pauses. "But we're not like that. We're not like that. And we can show them that we're not like that."

Alt at first doesn’t look towards Anti, just balls his hands into fists and looks away. But, slowly he looks back to Anti as he confesses what he’s been through and his eyes widen. “…oh I…” he knew- he’s seen Anti’s memories… how did he forget? 

Alt wipes at his face with his sleeve and then squeezes his eyes shut. “…I know. I know we’re not like that… it’s just…” he pulls off his mask completely, blinking back frustration that wants to leak out of his eyes. Finally he sighs and nods, “…yeah… I… I can show them. I’m not like that…”

Anti nods. "You're a good guy, Alt. Not perfect, nobody is, but you're good. And they should be able to tell." 

Alt smiles weakly at Anti.

"Do you guys hear that?" 

"Hmm? What?" 

"Shh!" A pause. "I thought I heard voices or something." 

Anti stiffens. "I'll be right by your side," he whispers, and disappears into Alt's phone again.

Alt freezes as he hears the others voices and then swallows shakily. He looks around then- might as well show them what really happened, right? He glitches back into the bathtub, letting himself fall with a surprised yelp and then exclaiming out loud, “ow! What the fuck?!”

The footsteps are immediate. All three of them rush over to the bathroom and fully open the door. The man in the blue shirt is in front, clutching a black wand with white tips—a classic stage magician’s wand. The other two are behind him, peering over his shoulders with wide eyes. “Hey! H-how did you get here?!” The man in front shouts, raising his wand. “The door was locked!” 

The man in glasses goes a bit pale. “M-Marvin, is that—” 

“No, it can’t be,” the man in front says. “I set up wards against him specifically.”

Alt looks up at the others with wide eyes and tries to push himself up, “u-um hi?? I-I don’t know how I got here- I’m sorry-!” His heart is beating wildly in his chest.

“Yeah—I don’t know how you got here either,” Marvin says. “Ow! Schneep, don’t squeeze my arm like that!” 

The man with the glasses—clearly Schneep—quickly let’s go of Marvin’s arm. “Sorry, but—i-it must be—he must be—him.” 

Marvin narrows his eyes at Alt, but the other man—this world’s JJ—tilts his head and looks thoughtful. Then he shakes his head. Not him. 

“H-how can you be so sure, Jamie?” Schneep asks. 

He would never even pretend to be vulnerable like this. Marvin lowers his wand slightly. 

“If anyone would know, it’s JJ,” he says. “But… that still doesn’t mean it’s good news. Who are you?” 

Alt seems to relax a bit as JJ vouches for him as he pulls himself up, “M-My name is Alt… I’m a… a magician. I just got… thrown in here.” He says quietly.

"A magician? Hang on." There's a puff of green smoke, and suddenly Marvin is gone. Then he's back only a second later, appearing in another puff of smoke. 

"Was that really necessary?" Schneep mutters. 

"Stitch in time, and all that." Marvin puts something on his face. It's a white cat mask, with the four card suits on its forehead. The inside of the ears are green, the nose is red, and there are wavy whiskers and streaks of pink on the face. As Marvin pulls it on, his eyes flare green. "Yeah... you have some sort of magic aura. It's uh... all electrical and shit. But every magician's powers manifest differently." 

JJ nods slowly. What do you mean you just got thrown in here? 

"JJ, he might not know what you're saying," Marvin says.

“No I- I can understand him,” Alt says with a shy smile. “And um… you guys might not believe me but I… I’m from… another universe. Parallel to this one… and I got thrown into this one before I could go home.”

"A... parallel universe," Marvin repeats, raising his eyebrows. "O...kay, then?" 

"Oh, actually, there is some proof of that," Schneep says. 

"Where? In what scientific journal?" 

"Ah..." Schneep hesitates. "Well, I... I heard it while I was..." He leans close to the others and mutters something. 

JJ glances at the two others, then back at Alt. Oh good! I do have a notebook if you ever need help. So... what is it like... in your other world?

Alt finally steps out from the bathtub, flushing slightly. “Um… it’s… well- there uh… I know all 3 of you just… differently. My Schneep is an actor and deaf and my JJ is a therapist… and uh Marvin is-“ he briefly looks away, “…I don’t know where our Marvin is actually-“ he lies.

"Oh, wait, you know our names?!" Marvin gasps. 

"Marvin, we have been using our names," Schneep points out. 

"Oh." 

JJ chuckles silently. 

"Hey both of you shut the fuck up." Marvin rolls his eyes. 

Alt laughs too. 

"Alright. If you're from another universe, do you know our two other friends?" 

We shouldn't assume we're all friends in every universe, though, JJ points out.

Alt nods, “Yeah Jackie and Chase. …my Chase is actually my brother. He’s uh- he’s a superhero. And my Jackie is a youtuber, he does parkour and shit.” He then smiles warmly at Jj, “you’d be surprised, actually… most of the times you are.” 

"You know their names?!" Schneep gasps. 

"Ooookay. You're either a really dedicated stalker with a wild fucking imagination... or you're telling the truth." Marvin lowers his wand some more. 

JJ blinks. Most of the times? 

"Wait--that implies that--oh!" Schneep's eyes widen. 

"Huh?" Marvin blinks, clearly not getting it.

Alt’s face falls, “It’s uh- really rare. Usually it’s cuz you just- haven’t met each other yet!” He says quickly.

No, I wasn't noticing the "most" part, JJ says. But that... you even know that... 

"Have you been to other worlds?! Besides ours?!" Schneep interrogates.

“Oh uh… y-yeah,” Alt says sheepishly. “I’ve been to… a lot…”

"...huh." Marvin's not sure how to respond to that. 

"O-oh!" Schneep's eyes widen. "Well, ah--I-I still am not sure about--all this. But, ah... do you want to... talk about them?" He's trying to tamp down his curiosity with caution, but the curiosity is winning. 

Here, let's leave the bathroom, JJ says. 

"Oh yeah. We can... do that at least. This is a bit awkward." 

Alt laughs, “Y-Yeah… a bit.” 

Marvin steps out of the way, and the others do too.

Alt suppresses his glitches and follows them out of the bathroom. He’s gonna try his best to… make sure they can trust him. 

Sorry about the mess, JJ says. 

"Hey, we're actually pretty neat!" Marvin says. "Or uh... you guys are." 

Alt goes into the room and goes to sit on a bed. “Uh… what do you guys wanna know?”

"Well, ah... h-how do you get to other worlds?" Schneep asks. "And why are you traveling? Are you learning for some sort organization or just traveling for yourself? Are there constants between worlds or are they all bizarre and different?"

Alt blinks at all of Schneep’s questions. “Well… we had a device- called the TRVLR- but it got… broken. We finally have all the pieces though! We just… need to find a way to fix it. I’m… traveling with my brother but we got the device from… an organization yeah. It was defective though but I managed to make it work with… my magic. And yeah! There’s constants- like you all being friends… and you’re usually a doctor, Schneep. And Marvin is magician and jj sometimes has magic or is an actor and uses sign language and.. always has his mustache.” He laughs. “Chase has a YouTube and his hat… Jackie is a hero and is always in his hoodie. But… there are so many bizarre ones for sure.” 

"That is... that's really fascinating." Marvin laughs. "And you sure know a lot about us. So... I'm inclined to believe you, but uh... not entirely. I mean, it's easy to find information about people." 

JJ grins and wiggles his mustache as Alt mentions it. 

"A... TRVLR...?" Schneep repeats, eyes going wide. "Did... did you get it from an organization called IRIS?"

Alt stiffens a bit, “Uh… yeah. How… how did you know?”

"We've... had some encounters with them," Marvin says slowly. "Schneep? Are you comfortable explaining?" 

Schneep nods. "I, ah... 'went undercover,' you could say. In their organization." He walks over to the closet and grabs something from an open suitcase. A white coat with the familiar IRIS logo on the sleeve. "Technically I am still undercover, I just used my vacation days for this trip." 

That 'traveler' name seemed familiar to you, JJ says. 

Schneep nods. "IRIS was working on a theory for such a device. They have blueprints, I think."

Alt’s eyes widen, “Oh… woah. As far as I know… IRIS is bad news… really the only good they’ve done for us was… having the TRVLR. Cuz.. me and my brother have been able to help people with it… meet new friends.” He smiles, fiddling with his necklace. “Seems like they haven’t made it here yet… huh.” 

"Oh no, you are right, they are fucking shady," Schneep agrees. "I know they have done terrible things, but I do not know the specifics yet. I have not found out enough, but I suspect they are, at the very least, kidnapping people." 

“Sounds about right,” Alt grumbles. He then blinks back up at Schneep at tilts his head, “…you guys are on a trip?” He asks. 

We're looking for those friends of ours, JJ says. Chase and Jackie. They... haven't... been around. 

"They're not in Mirygale," Marvin agrees. "Uh, that's the city where we all live usually. We're... worried about them. There's..." He hesitates, giving Alt a briefly suspicious look. "There's a guy who's been after us for a while. We're worried he got to them."

Alt blinks, then his stomach drops. Right… here it is. “They’re missing? ..well if my brother isn’t here- he probably appeared in front of one of them?” He says with a sheepish smile, “I-If my phone works… I might be able to find where they are.”

The three guys exchange glances. "Well... might as well try, I guess," Marvin says. "It's a better lead than what we've got, trying to follow their trail." 

We think that Jackie, at least, is somewhere in this city, JJ says. Not sure about Chase.

“Here… lemme see-“ Alt brings out his phone and tries to see if he can call Bro.He has service. But his phone rings... and rings... and rings... And then goes to voicemail. 

Marvin raises an eyebrow. "That's a long wait. I'm guessing you can't reach him?" 

“No… hm…” Alt says as he looks down at his phone. “…I guess I can see if he tries to reach back…” he then shakes his head and looks back at the others, “I…could try to help you find Jackie though… if you want.”

"That would be... great," Marvin says slowly, still a bit wary. 

JJ nudges him. 

"What? No harm in still being a bit cautious." 

I'm so sorry about them, JJ says. We've had some tough times... He smiles a little. Anything you can come up with would be great. Marvin's been using tracking spells but they're hit or miss. 

"I guess they never miss, huh?" Marvin mutters. 

Schneep raises an eyebrow. "Did you just... momentarily channel Chase?" 

"I think I did." 

“Wow what an ancient meme,” Alt laughs. 

"Ancient? That was like fucking... last year, wasn't it?" Marvin says thoughtfully. "Well, I guess it's ancient by internet standards." 

Alt blinks then laughs, “ah…my world is a bit… ahead, I think.” 

Marvin shakes his head. "Anyway. Yeah, JJ's right. For some reason my tracking spells are, uh... being glitchy. And they don't work for Chase at all."

Alt hums in thought. “…I’m not… sure- I might have some spells that could help? But.. kinda hard if we don’t have anything of theirs…”

"Oh! We do actually have something from Jackie," Schneep says, going back over to the suitcases. "Marvin uses it for his spells, too." He digs through the clothes and pulls out a small blue superhero mask, then walks back over. "Here, will this help?"

Alt looks over to Henrik and takes the hero mask, then reaches into his bag and pulls out his spellbooks, “…lemme see what I can find…”

Marvin slowly leans over to look at his spells as Alt opens it up. JJ also subtly shuffles over. Schneep rolls his eyes.

Alt blinks up then laughs, “Yeah my spells are probably different than yours… different worlds have different magic…” He wonders… could he channel the scrying magic from the eye tracker and combine it with a tracking spell to see where Jackie is? …it’s worth a shot isn’t it? He takes out the tracker and then lets it float in his hand surrounded by green blue magic. Then he sits crossed legged on the bed and puts the mask down in front of him and touches it with his other hand. He closes his eyes- and his necklace starts to faintly glow as he mumbles the words of a tracking spell and combines it with the magic of the tracker.

Schneep blinks. "What is that?" 

A talisman of some sort, JJ says. 

"It looks like Sam," Marvin says, fascinated. 

The three guys back away a bit, giving Alt some space to work. Marvin notices the way his necklace starts to glow and his eyes widen. "Oh! Chaos magic," he whispers. 

The tracker begins to glow a neon green, and Alt feels the sour magic inside it weave together with his own. Suddenly, a set of directions is beamed into his mind. They make no sense to him right now, but they probably will when they actually go searching. Left on Holiday Street, right onto Sunset Lane, right again onto Utterman Street--there's more, a winding path.

As Alt starts to get the directions he mumbles them out, knitting his eyebrows together, “Left on holiday street, right on sunset lane… right on utterman street- oh…! It’s- it’s all the directions!” He says brightly, his eyes snapping back open. He then grins at the others. “We can find him.”

Marvin's eyes widen. "That's real specific." He looks a bit suspicious about that, but after a moment, he nods. "Okay. Fine. Let's see where this heads. But if it's a trap, I'm gonna... fucking... kill you or something." 

At the threat, Alt shrinks back, biting down any need to glitch as he nods shakily. “Uh.. y-Yeah… right…” 

Marvin puts his wand through a belt loop in his jeans. "Anything you guys need?" He looks at Schneep and JJ. 

One second. JJ heads for the dresser, opening up one of the drawers, and takes out a small switchblade knife. He puts it into his pocket.

Meanwhile, Schneep reaches beneath the desk and grabs a red bag--a first aid kit of some kind. "Are you sure about this?" he asks the other two. 

We haven't been able to find Jackie in months, JJ says. We might be getting a bit desperate, and desperate times and measures and all that. 

Alt curls up a bit, putting his books back in his bag and pocketing the tracker. “…I only want to help… I promise-“ he says quietly.

JJ's expression softens, and he nods. It's alright. Don't mind them, they're just on edge. It's been a long year for us. 

Schneep nods. "Y-yes. JJ is right. We... are not... i-it is not you, it is our experiences." 

And neither of them are that good with emotions, JJ says. You would think a doctor would have better bedside manner. 

"Hey!" Schneep says defensively.

Alt looks up at JJ and tries to smile. Then he laughs at his jab at Schneep. “A-Alright…” He knows why they’re on edge… and they’re not gonna be any better if they see him glitch. So… guess he’s gotta try his best to be normal here. Even if he feels his need to glitch burning a bit under his skin.

"Alright, to the rental car then." Marvin walks over to the hotel room door, putting his hand on it and muttering a spell. The door glows green for a moment, which then fades. "Wards are down, so let's go. Who wants shotgun?" 

JJ whistles. 

"You had it last time!" Schneep protests. 

Alright, A-L-T can have it, then.

“Oh! Uh… s-sure!” Alt says, “I… uh got the directions after all.” He laughs nervously.

"Ah, right, that would make sense," Schneep says reluctantly. 

JJ chuckles. That's such an unusual phrase, you know. When did people start using it? 

"Well it's not really a thing over here, we all picked it up from Chase, I think," Marvin says. "Chase and his American-isms." 

"It is because in the days of Old West stagecoaches someone sitting next to the driver would have a shotgun to fend off highway robbers," Schneep says. "Chase told me." 

"Ah." Marvin nods. He opens up the hotel doorway. "Well... here we go. Hope we'll be back to pick up the rest of our stuff.”

“Oh- huh… that’s a fun fact.” Alt laughs. He follows after the others, clenching his phone tight in his pocket. He can help these guys… then find Chase and get out of here. 

They don’t have to know…

 ————— 

Bro flies for a while before a town comes into sight. It's about an average size town, with a couple tall buildings in the center but mostly a bunch of smaller ones. It's definitely night by the time they land.

Bro lands someplace out of sight and then gently helps set Chase back on his feet. “You good, dude?”

"Y-yeah." Chase stumbles a bit. "You know, I'm normally afraid of heights, but something about that was... nice." 

Bro grins, “Isn’t it? Ugh I love it! The view, the breeze!” 

Chase shakes his head. "Anyway uh... sorry, what are we doing here, again?"

Bro blinks and thinks to himself then snaps, “Oh yeah! We need to find help for your car… maybe aaaa tow or the police station?” He looks around, “…do you know what town this is?”

"Uhhhh... no." Chase shakes his head. "I've been driving randomly for a while. Hang on." He takes his backpack off and unzips the front pocket, pulling out a map. "Okay so I started there... I think I went there... or maybe there...?" He scrunches his face up as he thinks. "We're kinda isolated. So I thiiiink we're in Arcon? Or maybe Cliffwick?" He chuckles. "Weird names."

Bro laughs too, “Yeah, they are!” He looks around and whistles, “Alright! Then we should probably explore then- see what we can find!”

"Yep." Chase nods and looks around their immediate vicinity. "Uh... there's a gas station--or a petrol station, I guess--over there. And there's a couple business, I think that place is a hair salon? And a couple local restaurants. Oh hey, look, coffee place."

“Oh fuck coffee sounds so good right now…” Bro groans. “Petrol station is probably a good place to start though.”

"Yeah, probably." Chase pats his pockets. "I have some cash, so we can buy like... gas station candy bars or something." 

Bro laughs. “Hell yeah love gas station snacks!” 

Chase laughs too. "Alright, let's go." 

The inside of the station is normal enough. Very typical. There are fridges with drinks, shelves of candy and snacks, and some small commodities like phone chargers and sunglasses. There's an older man standing at the cash register. A large mirror hangs behind the checkout counter, reflecting the rest of the store.

As they walk in Bro goes up straight to the man at the register and smiles. “Hey dude! We were wondering if you knew of like… a tow service around here? My friend is stuck pretty far down the road from here.” 

"Hmm? Ah yeah, of course." The cashier gestures at a rack of papers next to the door. "There's a list of local businesses in there, you're sure to find something in there." 

"Thanks, bro," Chase says, going over to the rack and flipping through them. His eyes widen and he looks at Bro. "Ah. I was wrong. We're in some place called Leanlow." He giggles to himself. "Names are weird."

“Leanlow? Ha! That’s a fun name.” Bro grins. He then leans over Chase as he looks.

Chase flips through a booklet, scanning the list of names, until he reaches something that might help. "Ah, look. Benson's Tow and Mechanics. That'll help for at least getting the car into the town. Uh... then we got to get it checked out and fixed... probably find somewhere to stay for the night... or at least, I'll have to do that, I dunno if you'll want to stick around with me."

“If you don’t mind dude I can stick with you!” Bro grins, “you’re worried about that Anti guy, right? I can protect ya!” He looks outside at his dark it is. “Hmm… I gotta figure out where my brother is though… and it’s dark… maybe we should focus on getting a place to sleep first.”

Chase nods. "Yeah... that's fair." He pauses. "Okay. Uh... I'm gonna buy some snacks and stuff, I think. You can try calling your brother again, I guess? Or calling the tow company, whichever you want to do first." He takes out another booklet and hands it to Bro. "I think there's a list of hotels and motels in there too."

“On it, bro!” Bro gives a little salute and takes the booklet. He then digs out his phone and tries to see if he can call Alt better out here.

Chase smiles and heads off, browsing the aisles. 

Looks like Bro has service now. His phone rings... and rings... and rings... Until eventually the other end picks up. "Hello?"

Bro brightens, “Alt? You okay, bro? Where are you?”

"I'm fine," says Alt's voice. "Completely. I'm close by. Actually, I can see you right now. Look around. Can you see me?"

“What?? Really?” Bro asks with raised eyebrows. He quickly tries to look around.

The store area is empty except for him, Chase, and the cashier. Maybe Alt is outside? 

No... he can't see him. 

But then Bro glances at the mirror behind the counter. And he sees the reflection of someone who isn't in the store. A man wearing black, with blood dripping down his slit throat, eyes entirely blacked out. His hand is raised, pressing a phone to the side of his head. "T͡he͟re ̵I am̀."

Bro gasps and stumbles back, staring at the mirror with wide eyes. “W-What the fuck?! Y-You’re not Alt!” He growls and presses his phone close to his face. “Where is he?! What did you do to him?”

A static-traced giggle comes from the phone line. "Let your imagination run wild, Chase. I'm sure you'll figure it out." 

Bro goes pale, his stomach dropping. “N-No- no you-!” 

"Hey, bro, everything okay?" Chase calls over to Bro. And then he follows his line of sight towards the mirror. Instantly, he goes white as a sheet and lets out a strangled scream. The reflection turns to look at him and waves. Then, in between one blink and the next, it's gone. 

The phone line goes dead. 

Bro jumps as Chase screams and nearly drops his phone. Once the line goes dead he lowers his phone and looks at Chase with wide eyes. “…t-that’s who’s been after you right? I… I think he has my brother-!”

Chase nods slowly. "H-has him? Has him where?" 

"Hey, you lads alright?" the cashier asks, looking at the two of them in confusion and concern. 

"W-we're fine," Chase says. "Here, uh... we're sort of in a hurry. To--get the car fixed and stuff. So, uh, here." He sets his snacks down on the counter and takes some cash out of his pocket. He looks over to Bro. "Uh... do you have any idea how to find... the person we're looking for?" he asks tentatively, glancing back towards the cashier.

Bro moves out of the way so Chase can buy his stuff but he shakes his head. “I-If my phone went straight to him then… I dunno! I don’t even know if he’s in this city or not- I… I don’t know…” he looks down at the floor with wide eyes, it fully sinking in just how lost he is- with no way of finding where Alt could be.

"It's—it's going to be okay," Chase says slowly. But he doesn't look confident. "H-he's not going to be far. Since, uh... that guy was here too." His eyes flick up to the mirror. "W-we'll figure it out." 

The cashier hands him his change and snacks. Chase quickly puts the change in his pocket and the snacks in his bag. "Have a good night." 

"We, uh... Yeah, you too," Chase says hurriedly. He looks back at Bro. "C'mon. We can't... go meet him in here." Then he heads for the entrance.

Bro tries not to spiral and nods, following Chase out- sparing one last look at that mirror before hurrying out.

It's a bit colder outside. Or maybe they're just noticing now for the first time. "Okay. Uh..." Chase shakes his head. "What would he... Where would he... take someone? Why would he take someone?"

Bro shakes his head. “M-Maybe it’s because… my brother is… is also an Anti. But he’s not bad! That’s just… an old name of his.” 

Chase shudders a little. "I-I have a bad feeling about this. B-but it'll be fine! You're like--literally a superhero!" He laughs. "I-I don't think that exists in our world.

Uh... okay. Okay." He trails off, then sighs. "I... I don't know, bro. My mind's going a million miles a minute. I know I can help you with this, but I don't know how. We just... need somewhere to sit down and think, I think."

Bro holds his arms. Then he blinks at Chase in confusion, “…There’s no superheroes here?? What about Jackie? …he’s usually something like that-“ he hums in thought. Then he nods and looks back around. This all… feels very familiar and it sends a shiver down his spine. But he nods his head towards the coffee shop. “Yeah okay… let’s go talk in there.”

"Jackie?" Chase blinks, confused. "Oh, uh, yeah. Coffee shop." As they walk down the street towards it, he asks. "So... who's Jackie? A friend of yours?"

Bro blinks down in confusion at Chase, “What?! You don’t know him?? That’s… that’s so weird! Usually you guys are all… friends. Jackie, Schneep, Jj, Marvin and you!”

"Yeah, um... no, they don't sound familiar." Chase laughs a bit. "What kind of name is Schneep? That has to be a nickname or something, right?"

“…yeah it is- it’s part of his last name… you seriously don’t recognize the name, Henrik von Schneeplestein?” Bro asks, looking more and more concerned.

"Henrik? Oh, so he's like... German or something?" Chase laughs. "That explains the name. But no, I don't know him. Or any of those other names. But hey, maybe I'll meet them someday." 

Bro looks very very worried, but… last world some of them hadn’t met. Still… this feels off- 

They reach the coffee shop door and he pulls the door open. At that exact moment, with universal comedic timing, a man in a red hoodie runs at Chase from the inside and slams him with a hug. "It's you!" he shouts. "I knew I'd find you! I knew that's what they were trying to say! Oh my god, are you okay?! Oh you look terrible!" 

Bro jumps back as the hoodied man rushes at Chase. Then, he beams, looking relieved. 

"Uh--" Chase wiggles free of the hug. "S-sorry, I think--I think you have me mistaken for someone else." 

The man in the hoodie blinks. He gives a nervous laugh. "Uh...Chase, it's me! It's Jackie." Then he looks at Bro. "...wait. Huh?" He rubs his eyes. "Am I seeing double?"

“Oh hi! I’m… also Chase but not the one you know! Long story but uh-“ Bro glances between the two of them. “…maybe you’d like to join us for coffee…?”

"Yeah, of fucking course!" Jackie laughs, nodding. "I mean—it's been so fucking long since I've seen you, I was so worried." 

"Uh... sure." Chase looks really confused, but he walks over to the counter. "Let's order something." 

"Right!" Jackie nods. He glances over at Bro. "We'd better have a long talk after this." 

Bro nods to Jackie, “Course dude.” 

Then Jackie looks back to the counter. "Hi, can I get a regular latte for Jackie? That's, uh, my name." 

Chase laughs nervously. "Y-yeah, and uh... do you have Lyon's tea?" 

"We sure do," says the young woman behind the counter. "Great, give me a regular one of those."

Bro looks to the woman and smiles, “Just a black coffee for me… maybe two extra espresso shots? Think it’s gonna be a long night!” He laughs.

"Got it!" She nods. "And the names for both of you?" 

"Oh, uh... Chase," Chase says. "And uh..." He looks over at Bro, blinking in confusion. "Should we... our names are, uh..." 

“Bro is good for me,” Bro says with a smile.

"Alright!" The woman nods. "That'll be just a moment. You can sit down, but please note we will be closing in half an hour." 

Bro smiles sympathetically at the woman, “Thanks, we’ll try to be quick…”

Jackie laughs nervously. "Don't worry, this won't take too long." He looks over at Chase and Bro. "I've kinda been loitering here a while. Sam kept bothering me when I tried to leave." 

"Sam?" Chase repeats. 

Jackie blinks. "Oh come on! It's Sam! They're—" He glances around. "Let's sit down." 

There's a small sitting area in the coffee shop. Jackie starts walking over there, and after a moment, Chase joins him, still looking mildly confused.

Bro hurries after the others. His eyes widen and he blinks in surprise, “Oh! You have a Sam here too! Nice!” 

"You know Sam?" Jackie asks. "Well... you shouldn't be surprised by this, then." He leans down to the side and grabs a backpack that was leaning against the chair--clearly this is where he's been loitering. He unzips its main pocket and a green glow comes out. Peeking out is a baseball-sized floating green eye. 

"What the fuck?!" Chase shouts. 

The baristas behind the bar glance at him in confusion. 

"Sorry!" Chase calls to them.

Bro just grins wide and leans in close, “Hello new Sam! I’m Chase! Or Bro- whichever you’d like!”

Sam waves their nerve-tail at him. 

"Come on, you can't tell me you don't remember Sam, Chase!" Jackie whisper-shouts. "I mean—we were all so shocked when they appeared. We thought they were just the logo of Jack's channel!" His eyes widen. "You... you don't remember Jack either, do you?" 

Chase shakes his head. 

"H-he was your best friend," Jackie whispers. "A-and I'm your friend, too. Do you... remember any of us?"

Bro looks between the two of them with sad eyes, “….i think something happened to him…” he tells Jackie quietly. “He said… he says he was being chased by a… a weird glitchy thing. Anti… and he was just- broken down by the side of the road in his car when I found him not too long ago.”

"I knew it was Anti!" Jackie hisses. 

Chase raises his shoulders defensively. "Y-you know, too?" 

"Yes! I-I know... a lot... about him," Jackie says hesitantly. "I knew he was involved in this. Ever since the kids disappeared." 

Chase's expression softens. "The... kids?" 

"Your kids," Jackie says. "Bobby and—" 

"—Trevor," Chase finished. "I... I remember them, yeah. And their mom, Stacy. I... I know something happened to them. But I-I didn't do it." 

"Do what?" Jackie blinks. "Chase. They're fine. They're back in Mirygale." 

"...h-huh?" Chase looks very confused. "But—I—he said—a-and at IRIS—"

Bro’s eyes widen even more, then narrow in anger, “Right IRIS- those fuckers… maybe they’re behind this! Scrambling with his memories!”

"From everything I've found out about them, they'd be capable of that," Jackie mutters. "And... so would he."

 Bro grips his hands into fists, his eyes glowing slightly. 

At that moment, the barista calls out their names for their orders.

Bro  blinks and he sighs, getting up. “I’ll get the drinks.” He hurries over to the counter to pick back them up.

The barista smiles at him as he gets there. "Here you go," she says, handing them off. 

When Bro gets back to the others, Jackie is talking. "—and JJ and Marvin. It was the six of us—though, I mean, we only met JJ after Jack went into the coma, so those two don't know each other." 

"A coma?" Chase repeats, alarmed. 

"Yeah." Jackie nods. "That's a long story."

Bro sits back down and hands out the drinks- taking his own and taking a long drink before asking. “…how long has Chase been missing, Jackie?”

"Since last year," Jackie whispers. "Um... the end of May, 2018." 

Chase blinks. "Wh-what? I don't..." Shadows flicker in his eyes. He hides it by taking his tea and drinking it. "Um... if you're really me from another universe, Bro, you probably don't know what year it is here. It's July, almost August. 2019." 

"So more than a year, really," Jackie says. "We've all been... so fucking worried." He shakes his head. "I-I've been looking for you on my own for months." Then he processes what else Chase said. "Wait. Another universe?"

Bro blinks and then grins sheepishly, “Oh yeah I’m… I’m Chase Brody… so him- but from you know… another universe. One where uh- I’m a superhero.”

Jackie blinks, then grins. "No way! That's so fucking cool! What are your powers? Cause I have like—I've developed some special skills of my own with the help of Sam, but like—an actual superhero?! I'm just a vigilante with powers!" 

"When did you get powers?" Chase asks, surprised. 

Jackie looks at him, eyes wide. "So you know that they're new?" 

"I... uh..." Chase blinks. "That just... I-I don't know why I said that."

Bro blinks in between them. Then he beams, “Hey!! That’s good news!! That means something is still there!!” He then looks back at Jackie and smirks, “I uh… I can fly. That’s how I got Chase and me here actually. And I can like.. concentrate my energy to where I need it to give me super strength or speed or even like- shoot lightning from my finger!” He makes a finger gun gesture with a laugh. “What are your powers??”

Jackie giggles excitedly, flapping his hands. He glances back at the baristas and adjusts his position slightly, blocking their view of him with his back. "Watch this." He forms a fist and punches his open palm. As it hits, a ring of pale silvery-green light forms around his fist. "I got this energy stuff. I can like, shoot out beams of it, or keep it around my fists like this to make my hits stronger. I also figured out how to do the same thing with my kicks recently! And I can form a sort of full-body shield, but it doesn't last long, only a couple seconds, so I have to time it well." 

Bro’s eyes sparkle with excitement. He also stims a bit, “That’s so cool!!!” 

"It really is!" Chase nods. "Damn... I-is it magic? Is... magic real?" 

Jackie nods, the energy dissipating as he picks up his coffee cup. "Yeah. Marvin's a magician, he's really good at magic. JJ is also into witch stuff—and that's called magick, too, but it's spelled with a K at the end." 

"Wow." Chase leans back. "So I... forgot magic was a thing, then."

“Seems like it.” Bro shrugs, taking another sip. “My brother, Alt, is also a magician. He’s always telling me that his magic and my powers are the same but- I dunno… they feel different to me! Maybe if I ever like- could do magic I could see,” He laughs.

Jackie nods. "Marvin said the same thing when my powers showed up! He's like, 'it's basically just magic, isn't it?' and I was like, 'fuck no, I'm gonna be a superhero!'" He laughs, taking a sip of his latte. "Well, if you're from another world, what're you doing here?" 

"Oh yeah, I probably should've asked that earlier." Chase laughs. 

“Bro I wish I could tell you,” Bro sighs. “The thing is- me and my brother have been going from universe to universe for a couple days now… we’re trying to find all the pieces to our device that let us travel around more freely cuz it was broken. But like! Last world we found all the pieces! But the thing is… we’re also being chased down by an Anti… an Anti that wants to delete other worlds. He… he sent us here- and now… this world’s Anti might have Alt…” as he says this he squeezes his mug tight, fingers trembling a bit.

"Oh... fuck." Jackie whispers. 

"Right... you uh... did mention that," Chase says. "I-I guess the whole... flying thing... and other universe thing... kind of took a lot of my... thoughts." 

"That sounds real bad," Jackie says. "But, uh... I might be able to help you find Alt? I-if An—if he took him, then... he'll have him in his own little pocket dimension. Me and Sam... we might be able to find it? But, uh... that place has a bad effect on Sam." In the backpack, Sam flicks their nerve-tail in agreement.

Bro looks up in surprise and he looks at Jackie desperately, “R-Really? T-that’d be great! I… I dunno what this Anti would want with Alt but… if he managed to do this to Chase then…”

Chase looks down at his tea and takes another quiet sip. "Honestly, I... don't know if either of you guys are really here," he whispers. 

Jackie reaches over and grasps his shoulder. Chase looks down at it in surprise. "Well we are," he says fiercely. "And we're not going to let him fuck with your head any more. Chase, I... I'm staying at a motel nearby. You don't have to go with us to save Alt. I can take you there a-and you can stay in my room. Take a nap." He laughs. "You look like you need it." 

Chase nods slowly. "I always feed tired these days..."

Bro looks sympathetic and nods, “Yeah dude… we’re gonna help you… but you don’t need to come with me and Jackie. You should get some rest…”

"I'd like that," he says quietly. "Have a nice bed... that would be nice." 

Jackie's eyes well up with tears. "Y-yeah, I bet it will be. Let's... let's get you there, then. W-we can drink on the way."

“Yeah- yeah.” Bro gets up and tries to help Chase up. “Come on dude…”

Chase lets him help. Jackie gets to his feet and quickly zips up the backpack, putting it on his shoulder. "Come on, I'll show you guys the way. It's a short walk." 

Bro smiles and gently guides Chase after Jackie. 

[chaatandchai]

primrose lane | wjh (UNFINISHED)

hi everyone !! this is a fic i had started writing a long time ago when i had a different account here on tumblr, and over time i lost track of where i wanted the fic to go and consequently lost motivation to write it, too. i'm posting what i've written so far (it's a lot) so people can read if they want.

details: coming of age au, wen junhui x gn!reader, friends to ???, college au, alcohol consumption, i think there's some swearing

wordcount: 19.16k

-- this is my first official post ever on tumblr so please come drop feedback/advice in my inbox or just come say hi !! i'd love to make new friends <3

Maybe it had all started with that newly bloomed patch of bright red camellias.

That was where you had found Seungkwan, crouching among the flowers with his hands over his knees. At the tender age of ten, you could not figure out why he was sitting there like that, so you did what you knew best how to do: ask.

“Um, what are you doing here?”

The boy had glanced up at you like he’d just realized you were towering over him, almost losing balance. 

“I’m playing hide and seek! Isn’t this such a good spot? Jeonghan’s never gonna find me!”

You had looked him dead in the eye. “I could see you from all the way over there. You’re gonna lose.”

“That’s mean! I’m not gonna lose!”

He rose to his feet at this point, and you immediately felt bad seeing the small pout on his face. 

“Okay,” you relented. “Sorry. But it’s true. The flowers aren’t gonna hide you.”

“But —”

He was interrupted by loud footsteps that came quickly down the sidewalk, and a little boy who seemed to be about your age approached the flower bed, laughing delightedly. Behind him was another boy, running a little slower with something bundled up in his arms.

“Seungkwan!” the faster one hollered, almost tackling his friend to the ground. “Found you! See, I told you, I’m really good at this.” Then he turned to you, a little confused and blinking slowly like he’d only just realized you were standing there. 

“Hi,” you’d broken the silence. “I’m Y/N. I live in the small yellow house over there,” you twisted to point somewhere behind you.

“The one with the pretty purple flowers in the front?”

“Yeah!”

The third boy finally approached your little group, and you finally saw what he was holding: a small gray kitten, curled up and fast asleep. 

“I thought that one was empty though,” he said curiously. “Mom said nobody’s lived there for a long time.”

“We moved our stuff in yesterday morning,” you explained. “I’m starting school tomorrow.”

The boys had expressed their joy at this, promptly making you promise to hang out with them more. Friends, they said with bright smiles on their faces. You’d all exchanged names, sitting in the grass watching the sun slowly sink down in the sky, admiring those same red camellias that had just recently bloomed.

At some point you’d scooted closer to the boy holding the now-awake kitten, reaching out to gently stroke its head. His name was Junhui, you recalled, and when you turned to look at him he was looking right back at you.

“He’s so cute, right?” The boy looked fondly down at the kitten. ��I wish we had a cat, but my mom thinks we can’t handle having a pet at home.”

“He’s not yours?”

Junhui shook his head. “No. I just found him while I was hiding from Jeonghan. He was all tangled up in the rose bushes, poor little guy. Good thing he didn’t get any scratches.”

You nod, agreeing. “Yeah, that would be bad.”

He watched as the kitten moved to climb over your own leg. “Do you like cats too?”

“Are you kidding? I love them,” you sighed. “I wish I had one, too, but my brother’s allergic so we can’t.”

“You have a brother?”

You wrinkled your nose. “Yeah. He’s two years older than me and he’s really annoying! He thinks he’s so cool even though he’s not.”

“Wow,” Junhui laughed. “Mine is six years old. He’s really cute, but I wish I had an older brother. Like you!”

“No, you don’t,” you told him earnestly. “They’re horrible!”

“Hey, I’m an older brother,” he said patiently. “Am I horrible?”

You looked at him carefully. 

“No,” you answered. “I don’t think so.”

“See?”

“Okay, fine, you win,” you grumbled, laying down on your back. The little kitten had meandered over to Seungkwan, who was trying and failing to teach it how to give a high five while Jeonghan watched and laughed.

Junhui didn’t say anything for a while, but then he turned to look at you again. 

“Hey, don’t you think it’s really stupid?”

“What’s stupid?”

“That this is Primrose Lane but there aren’t any primroses?” He gestured to the flower beds scattered through the neighborhood. “There are camellias everywhere, and there’s a few rose bushes behind Jeonghan’s house, but no primroses. The name doesn’t even make sense.”

You thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, that’s dumb. But it sounds pretty.”

“Hm. You’re right.”

A few more moments of quiet passed by before Seungkwan finally stood, brushing the dirt off his pants.

“It’s getting dark,” he told you. “Mom said I have to be back before it’s completely dark outside. I think we should go home.”

“Yeah,” Jeonghan added from behind him, brushing the dirt off of his shorts. “Y/N, we’ll see you tomorrow right? At school?”

“Yes!”

“Nice!”

Junhui slung an arm around your shoulder and cracked a grin. “Race to the far stop sign? Last one who gets there has to buy snacks for everyone tomorrow!”

“I’m in,” you raised your hand, followed by the other two. “I guess Seungkwan’s buying our food then.”

“Hey!”

Jeonghan broke out into loud laughter, pulling Seungkwan into him for a quick hug. Beside you, Junhui chuckled softly as he prepared to run, shooting you a bright smile as you matched his stance and got ready to go too.

“Three, two, one —!”

Growing up with Seungkwan made you realize that he was far more perceptive than he ever let on to anybody else.

“Jun has the biggest crush on her,” he said suddenly at lunch one day. Your friend in question was picking up his food while speaking to one of your classmates, a girl from your shared science class.

“Really?” You picked up another piece of meat with your chopsticks. “Jang Yeona? I didn’t even know they knew each other.”

“Yeah, but I know him, and I can tell. Look, he’s so far gone already.”

And you weren’t sure why your stomach dropped a little bit when you looked and saw that Seungkwan was sort of correct. You knew Jun well enough, too: you easily saw how he hung onto her every word and looked at her like she put all the stars in the sky. For some reason, it made you a little nauseous.

“Good for him,” you said bluntly. “She’s pretty.”

If you weren’t so intently staring at your food, you would have seen the peculiar look Seungkwan threw your way.

“Hey, what did I miss? You two looked awfully serious from over there.” Jeonghan slipped into the seat across from you, balancing a juice box and a blueberry muffin on his tray.       

“Secretly planning your murder,” you said dryly.

“Oh, cool. At least make it interesting, please.”

“You have become way too comfortable with this,” Seungkwan muttered, giving you both the side eye. 

“That’s because he doesn’t have a choice other than to get used to it,” you explained, placing your share of smoked salmon into Jeonghan’s tray. “You’re all stuck with me now.”

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “And that’s because when we were ten we didn’t know what a complete lunatic you would grow up to be.”

“He’s kinda right.” Jun’s voice came floating out of nowhere as he took the empty seat beside you. “Also, I will help you plan his murder. Where do you need me to drag the body?”

“To be determined. I’ll let you know later.”

“Noted. Just text me.”

“So,” Seungkwan started, clearly trying to change the topic, “Jun, you’re friends with Jang Yeona now, huh?”

“Eh?” He looked like a deer in headlights, caught off guard with bread in his mouth. “I donfo whafur talkin buf.”

You sent him a mildly disgusted look. “Wen Junhui, please finish chewing that before you speak.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he repeated once his mouth was empty. “She was just asking me about an assignment she missed yesterday. I’ve literally never talked to her before.”

“Uh huh,” Seungkwan nodded along. You could see the gears turning in his head reflected in the mischievous look on his face. 

Of course, you weren’t surprised when Jeonghan picked up on it immediately . “Do you like being around her?”

“Are you guys friends?”

“Do you think she’s pretty?”

“Those are, uh, a lot of questions,” Jun chuckled nervously, nudging your elbow. “Um, can I finish eating first?”

Seungkwan tsked, but left him alone anyways. You knew what he was trying to do, and you didn’t know why you hated the idea of it. Why did you suddenly find the idea of Jun crushing on someone so unpleasant? 

Later that day, you found yourself alone with Seungkwan after the last class, waiting for the other two boys so you could all walk home together.

“You look… down,” he observed, kicking a pebble. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“It is so obviously not nothing,” he probed. “Are you sure you’re fine?”

You didn’t look back at him. “I think so. Just… realized something and I don’t know if I like it or not.”

Seungkwan exhaled and leaned back on the railing, bag falling off of his left shoulder. “Is this about Jun?”

“What?”

“I can’t think of anything else!” He threw his hands up. “Nothing else happened today, unless you did really badly on that math test and you aren’t telling me about it.”

“No, it’s not the test,” you sighed. “I studied way too much to fail that.”

Seungkwan frowned. “Y/N, I can’t help you if I don’t know why you’re upset. And don’t tell me you’re not, because I know you are, and I’d rather you weren’t. I hate seeing you upset.”

“How touching.”

“I’m serious!” He folded his arms. “So it is about Jun, then?”

You hesitated. Even you didn’t really know the answer to that question. Yes it was, but why? What part of it? You couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was bothering you in the first place.

“I guess so?”

“Why, you like him or something?”

You shot him a look, dismissing the idea immediately. “You are so nosy!”

“Well, am I right or wrong?”

“I don’t have a crush on him. That’s stupid,” you insisted, rubbing your eyes. “I don’t really know why I’m annoyed. Just… I know for a fact this is gonna work out for him, because,” you shrugged, “Jun is everything. Everyone likes him. He’s so smart, he’s popular, he’s the sweetest, and it’ll never be my turn because I —”

“If you’re about to say that you aren’t any of those things, I’m going to strangle you myself.”

Again, you glared at him. “I am not opening up to you so that you can threaten me with murder!”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “First of all, you’re being extremely dramatic, because we’re in middle school and just because you’re single and lonely now doesn’t mean you’re gonna be single and lonely forever.”

“You sound like my brother, except Mingyu is always telling me the opposite.”

“Yeah, well, Mingyu is wrong and sometimes also an asshole.”

And then you were interrupted by Jeonghan sneaking up and scaring the living daylights out of you, and Jun greeting you with a wave and the book you’ve been wanting to check out for quite a while from the school library. But you thought about it on the way back, silently watching the world around you while the boys fooled around on the sidewalk.

Yes, that was it. You’d just been slightly jealous that you had never been the object of someone’s affections — you weren’t anymore, but you felt that way for a little while, and you sort of hated yourself for it. It was stupid, Seungkwan was absolutely correct, and you needed to slow your brain down and stop worrying.

“Wow, you look exhausted,” Jeonghan remarked, just as the four of you approached your street, that familiar green sign growing closer now. Primrose Lane. “You look like you need a good long nap.”

“I do, and I’m going to take one,” you announced. “Nobody knock on my door until seven o’clock or I will end you.”

Seungkwan frowned at this. “Didn’t we say we were gonna work on homework together at four?”

“Can we do it at seven? Please? Come wake me up and we can work on stuff at my house, my parents won’t mind and Mingyu’s gonna be home late,” you said. “Jeonghan has soccer practice, so he would have missed it, anyways.”

“Fine by me,” Jun agreed. His hand came up to ruffle your hair, something you usually absolutely hated, but for some reason you didn’t really mind when it was him. Actually, there were a lot of things about Jun that you didn’t mind. Things that you often welcomed, in fact, when he did them.

And again, if you weren’t trying really hard to keep staring at the ground, you would have noticed Seungkwan watching you with a concerned look on his face.

“Okay,” he’d said finally, tearing his eyes off of you. (Something was off, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what.) “That works. I’ll be there.”

Not much to your surprise, Jun was the first at your door that evening, which also meant that he was the one to see you with extremely messy hair and haphazard clothes. Usually you’d be incredibly embarrassed, but in the moment you were so tired that you couldn’t feel anything other than irritable.

“Did you just wake up?” he asked, removing his shoes and promptly subjecting himself to one of your death glares.

“Don’t even start,” you hissed, marching up the stairs. “Give me ten minutes. Stay here and forget everything you just saw.”

Jun laughed at this, fondly aware of your post-nap crankiness. 

“Okay,” he agreed, watching you disappear around the corner. “I’m gonna get started on math while you’re up there!”

“Good!” came an echo of your voice. “Don’t wait for Jeonghan, he needs to figure out that stuff for himself!”

He only laughed again, louder and clearer this time, and you could hear him from behind your bathroom door. You liked the sound of his laugh. There had always been something so warm and real about the way he expressed his joy that never failed to comfort you as well.

When you’d washed up and finally decided that you looked decent enough to head downstairs again, Jeonghan was sitting at the table with Jun, notebook propped up like he’d only just begun.

“There they are,” Jun clapped. “Finally. You look a little less like a gremlin than when I first got here.”

“I told you not to mention it!” 

You went to punch his shoulder playfully, but he caught your fist, gently encircling your wrist with his fingers. His skin was soft, and comfortingly warm, but the contact caught you off guard and you pulled back sharply, not exactly liking how it made you feel. 

Which was, good. But it was a weird good that you weren’t sure you should be feeling, and you were glad that Seungkwan wasn’t there to witness it again.

Ignoring the slightly hurt look on Jun’s face, you plastered on a smile. 

“Uh, do you guys want something to drink? I’ve got a few cans of soda left, actually.”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t those Mingyu’s?”

“Ah, who cares. He can go get more on his own. I’m sick of him bossing me around all day.” You pulled open the door to the fridge. “So?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll take one.”

Your gaze flitted to the boy beside him. “Jun?”

“I’m fine,” came his clipped reply. 

“You sure? Not even water?”

“Okay,” he relented finally, shrugging. “Just a bit, though.”

Your doorbell rang while you walked back to the table balancing both drinks — once, twice, and then a third time just for good measure. You already knew who it was, just based on how impatient they seemed to be let in.

“I’ll get it,” Jun offered, rising from his seat. He opened the front door to your exhausted looking brother, and Seungkwan who’d arrived not long after him.

“Oh,” Mingyu said at the sight of your friends gathered around the table, slipping his backpack off. “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

“Went to grab groceries,” you answered. “Why don’t you ever take a set of keys with you? You could just let yourself in that way.”

Mingyu shrugged. “Eh.” Then he narrowed his eyes at the can on the table. “Seriously, Y/N, How many times have I told you to stop drinking my soda?”

You rolled your eyes.“It’s one can! And let him have it, Dad’s gonna bring home more, anyway.”

Jeonghan raised his hand in apology. “Sorry, dude.”

When Mingyu was done grumbling and finally left to hole himself up in his room, you plopped back down onto the couch and sighed. “Sometimes I despise him. Exceedingly.”

“Hey, it’s kinda funny watching you guys, though,” Seungkwan said. “Like a soap opera. Except it’s real.”

“I wish I had an older brother,” Jun added gloomily.

“You’ve been saying this to me ever since we met,” you pointed out, still unable to look him in the eye. You didn’t know why. You didn’t know whether you wanted to find out. “And no, you don’t. Be grateful you don’t have to deal with an idiot like Gyu.”

Jun would have said something else (effectively starting another one of your petty little arguments) but Jeonghan interrupted your conversation, tapping his pencil on the table. 

The three of you turned to look at him slowly and were met with a small, sheepish grin.

“Hey, how do you solve double inequalities?”

You hated summer.

Jun loved it, of course, and he could never understand why you preferred winter so much. You let him have that, though, because you liked to watch him be happy. That boy was made to be joyful, you thought sometimes, with how even the smallest of smiles seemed to light up his face. 

So, yes. With a few exceptions, you generally disliked the summer, but this one was exceptionally worse than every single year in the past.

For one, Seungkwan had gone to visit his uncle and aunt in Europe, which meant you would be left without one of your closest friends until the start of the next school year. 

He promised to call your landline every week, and he kept his word, but even that wasn’t enough sometimes. You cherished the time you spent talking to him, but that never meant you didn’t miss him dearly.

Jeonghan was still in town, but you saw him less and less as summer vacation went on, and you didn’t know why. You rarely ran into him anymore, didn’t see him at the park like you always used to, and he almost never answered the door when you went looking for him.

“He’s asleep. Taking a nap,” his little sister told you the one time she’d opened the door instead. You couldn’t tell if she was just covering for him or not. “Do you want me to wake him up?”

“No! No, it’s okay,” you’d said. “Thanks, though, Jeongyeon.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, you’d started to feel like Jun might be slipping through your fingers too. He’d just gotten a cell phone, his mother’s old one that she let him use, and he spent quite a lot of time on it. 

You knew he was texting Yeona — there was no mistaking the smile on his face at every notification, or every time you asked who he was talking to and he refused to tell you, a shy smile on his face.

There had never been anything Jun wouldn’t tell you, at least not until now. If nothing else, this was the clear indicator that something was up with him.

He was still there for you, though, and you appreciated that. As much as he seemed to love talking to Yeona, you knew you could always count on him. Each time you knocked on his door, he was there with a smile, ready to go do whatever you had in mind. 

Maybe you’d just been exaggerating in your head. Maybe you were just a little bit jealous.

You’d confided in him about your worries for Jeonghan too, as you did with everything. (He had always been one of your go-to people, after all.) He wanted to ask Seungkwan for advice as well, but he was on the other side of the world, and the two of you weren’t keen on troubling him when he was supposed to be on vacation.

“It’s okay,” he had comforted you instead. “It’ll be fine.”

And it was fine for the most part — Jun was generally right, and you tended to trust his intuition. This time was no exception. 

You’d both run into Jeonghan not long after on the street, and even though you were least expecting it, you were extremely glad to see him regardless. 

“Whoa,” he said when you launched into him for a hug. “Looks like someone’s very happy to see me.”

“Duh, it’s been a while,” you said, muffled against his shirt. “Where have you been?”

You felt him stiffen for a second. “Oh, you know, just… needed some alone time,” he mumbled. “Lots of stuff going on.”

You chose not to press him further, though you couldn’t understand what kind of stuff could make you hide from your friends for weeks and have your little sister lie to them when they came over.

“We missed you,” Jun added, joining the group hug. It felt nice after so long, and even though Seungkwan was on the other side of the world, you could imagine he was there with you in spirit.

“Were you about to go home?” you asked when you pulled away.

“Oh, yeah,” Jeonghan ran a bruised hand through his hair and smiled tentatively, “but we could just hang out if you want? I don’t really have to be home for another hour.”

That was all you had wanted, really, to spend time with him, and that was enough for you. You smiled watching your best friends fool around and wrestle in the grass (Jun had probably started another argument again) just like you were kids again. 

Even if everything else changed, your constant would be this. You knew that everyone would grow up, and maybe grow away, but your fourteen-year-old heart held it certain that these precious moments would never leave you with time. One day the hastily braided bracelets that sit on your wrists would be gone, but the meaning would never be lost on you.

“Y/N!”

You turned around to Jun holding up his phone directly at you.

“Look at the camera!”

His words came through, and you heard him loud and clear, but you could only focus on his bright, beautiful grin you knew you loved to death. You saw his sparkling eyes, you saw Jeonghan sitting up behind him with wet grass in his hair, making silly faces to try and get you to laugh. And you did. How could you not?

The sun was in your eyes when you smiled, but it could not have been more perfect.

Click!

It had always been extremely hard to keep secrets from Boo Seungkwan, but it was even more difficult to tell him that he was wrong.

“What do you mean you don’t like Junnie? You’re glaring daggers at Yeona right now. You should see yourself, dude.”

Were you? Maybe, but right now you were glaring daggers at Seungkwan, practically fuming.

“How dare you insinuate such a thing,” you hissed, aiming your pencil at him. “I would never develop feelings for my best friend!”

He merely raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “Why is it that you’ve become way more violent ever since we started high school?”

You had to admit that his observation was correct, but in your defense, it was only two weeks into freshman year and he’d already managed to get on your nerves on this topic — a new record that you were sure only Jeonghan had the capability to break.

“Maybe if you would stop acting like you can read my mind,” you muttered, eyes flitting over to where Jun and Yeona were talking yet again. For some reason, you felt bitter about it. 

Seungkwan clicked his tongue. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“That thing where you scowl at Yeona like you think she shouldn’t be anywhere near Jun.”

“Because I do!” you whisper-yelled, making sure nobody else in the library heard you. “She’s nowhere near good enough for him. He deserves someone who can, you know, match his energy and make him happy, but she can’t even put in the basic effort to sound interested when they talk! Isn’t it obvious?”

That seemed to make Seungkwan think. “You know, I never really noticed before, but I guess you’re right.”

You crossed your arms triumphantly. “See?”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he practically worships the ground she walks on,” he added. “I know he won’t tell us how he really feels, but you can’t tell me you don’t see it too.”

“No, I know.” You sighed. “I do. You’re right.”

The look Seungkwan sent you made you feel so vulnerable in that moment — there was a little bit of pity, a little bit of love he had for you as a friend, but there was also that pure sadness. He was sad for you, because you were one of his best friends, but so was Jun. It felt like maybe he wanted to help you, but he didn’t know how.

You tried distracting yourself by downing the rest of your water bottle in one go, doing your best not to look out of the corner of your eye where Yeona was pulling Jun, your Jun, into a tight hug. You weren’t going to look. You shouldn’t. You wouldn’t.

“I’m gonna go insane. There’s way too much happening,” you said, crumpling the plastic bottle in your hand. “God, where is Jeonghan when we need him?”

“Why, am I not helping?”

You shot him another look that was sufficient to answer his question.

“Fair. Well, I hope he’s feeling better,” Seungkwan told you, digging through his backpack. You knew, too, that Jeonghan hadn’t been in school for days — out sick with a high fever, Jeongyeon had told you when you ran into her in the neighborhood yesterday. 

“Me too. I need both of you to survive this hellhole,” you groaned. “Ideally all three, but he’s having his moment with Yeona so I guess I won’t get in his way.”

“There you go, sounding all spiteful again.”

You didn’t bother responding to him this time. Maybe it was because you knew that he was right. As much as you liked to think that he was just coming to random conclusions, you were aware of your shifting feelings. You didn’t like Jun, not like he liked Yeona, you just… it was something different there. It’d changed. When, you didn’t know. It just did.

And you weren’t really surprised when you started seeing them together more outside of school. Your group of four had just dwindled to three now, sometimes two on those days that Jeonghan just didn’t show up. You were happy to have Seungkwan, but the frequent absence of the other two boys never failed to make you a little uneasy.

Because you’d always thought that this would never change, but what if you were wrong?

You let the worry live at the back of your mind. For now, at least. You couldn’t let something so small take over your head, not when you had schoolwork to focus on, and it definitely began to pick up as the weeks flew by.

“By the way,” you said at lunch one day, “what’s going with you and Yeona?”

Jun widened his eyes mid-bite and Seungkwan immediately shook his head like he knew what was coming.

“The last time we asked you about this you avoided the question,” he said. “I think we all know what you’re trying to hide from us, anyway, so there’s really no point.”

“True,” Jeonghan gestured with his chopsticks. You looked at him for a moment and you could swear the cut on his nose wasn’t there the last time you spoke to him.

Jun sighed and set his food down. 

“We’re… not dating,” he said carefully. “I just, I don’t know. I think she’s great. I really like her, man, and I think she likes spending time with me too. So that’s really it right now.”

He looked so happy. You hated that you felt nearly the exact opposite. Sitting there in the cafeteria, you couldn’t help but feel those sharp pangs of guilt that struck you, because what was wrong with you? Why couldn’t you be happy for your best friend?

“That’s great, dude,” Jeonghan laughed as he offered the other boy a fist bump. Seungkwan smiled but said nothing, and he eyed you suspiciously as you pretended to remain unaffected.

“Yeah, that’s great,” you echoed mindlessly. “Really great. Hope it works out.”

From across the table, you locked eyes with Jun. Just looking at him made you feel better; somehow the sight of his face made the uneasiness in the pit of your stomach go away. It was nice, for a few moments.

Then you looked away sharply, because a manicured hand came down on his shoulder as an unfamiliar voice called out his name, and you really didn’t want to watch their… whatever was going on with them.

“Hi,” Yeona giggled. “What happened to lunch together?”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and leaned over to whisper to you. “They were gonna eat lunch together?”

“Oh… Sorry, I forgot,” Jun mumbled shyly. “Couldn’t ditch my friends last minute.”

“Aw, I’m sure they’ll live through one lunch period without you.” 

Yeona flashed the rest of you a sickly sweet smile, like she was pitying you, almost. You felt a hot rush of anger flow through your body, and if you had any less self control you would have left the cafeteria then and there.

For Jun, you told yourself. You’re doing this for his sake.

“I’ll sit with you tomorrow,” you heard Jun say. 

“Okay, Junnie, I’ll see you there. Text me later, okay?”

“Yeah, see you.”

She left with another one of her smiles and waved to the three of you, effectively taking any sense remaining in Jun’s brain with her. He sat in silence, quietly eating and smiling down at his tray while you watched him trying to understand why you felt so dismayed.

“Well, that was interesting,” is all Seungkwan said before taking the last bite of his food. You were very glad he didn’t look in your direction, because you weren’t sure you could put on a good enough poker face for him to believe. 

Needless to say, you did not see Jun at lunch the next day. Or the day after that.

Lunchtime without your best friend lasted a long, agonizing forty-seven days. You saw him around everywhere else, and not that you were counting (you were), and not that you cared (you did), but having that empty seat next to you for so long did feel quite off. 

That forty-eighth morning, you managed to corner Jun in the hallway before classes started, a mischievous smile plastered on your face.

“You haven’t been giving us any Yeona updates,” you told him, his back still turned to you. “So? How’s it going?”

“Good,” he said shortly, slamming his locker shut with a loud bang.

The smile on your face dropped immediately. Jun was patient, sweet, and nothing but lovely, but sometimes his temper was not to be trifled with. 

“Whoa. Are you sure, dude?”

“Yep.”

“You’re really not being convincing at all right now.”

He sighed then, and he looked so tired that you instantly felt bad for him. “Y/N, I’m fine. Stop worrying about me, okay?”

And if there was one thing you knew about Jun, it was that he was never fine when he said he was. You could tell from the way his half-smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and the way he slouched as you headed down the hall with him. Yeah, you wanted to know what was up, but with him like this, you weren’t going to push any further. 

“Okay,” you said quietly. Jun only smiled softly in response, ruffling your hair like he usually always did.

“See you later,” he said, walking off. From where you were you could see Yeona across the hall, nearly glaring daggers at you as she ran a few fingers through her perfectly straight hair. What her problem was with you, you would never really understand, although you were perfectly happy to reciprocate the feeling if that was what she wanted.

While you were deep in your thoughts, an arm came around your shoulder and you almost reflexively kicked the person behind you until you smelled that unmistakable citrus scent, realizing it was Seungkwan.

“You have got to stop doing that,” you warned him. “Or I’ll send you to the hospital someday.”

He just shrugged. “Eh. Your reaction is always worth it.”

“Do you have a death wish?”

Seungkwan didn’t respond, just grabbed your shoulder and steered you away from a crowd of boys you were about to walk straight into at the corner of the hall. 

“Jeez,” he muttered, glancing back at them, “It isn’t that hard to get out of the fucking w— Is that Jeonghan?!”

“Huh?”

“Over there,” he directed your gaze to the distinct yellow hoodie that you knew belonged to your friend. “Didn’t know he was friends with Choi Seungcheol. That’s crazy, man.”

That didn’t need an explanation at all. Nobody in the entire school messed with Seungcheol, and you knew that. He had a reputation, and a whole lot of respect that stemmed from it.

“Who’s that one standing next to Han?”

“No idea,” Seungkwan said. 

You couldn’t not look at Jeonghan; how he looked so small among the group, how he couldn’t stop staring at the ground and the way he loosely held an unlit cigarette in his right hand. It was hard to tell whether he hated it or not. He had always been that way, ambiguous and slightly impossible to read.

You told Seungkwan so, and he only shook his head.

“If he wants our help, he’ll come ask us. You know he always talks to us when he feels like he really needs it.”

And that was correct, so instead of taking a step in Jeonghan’s direction you turned around and walked away instead. You trusted that he would be fine, but what you were less certain about was your fate if you walked into geometry class late yet again this week.

The real surprise of the day, however, came when you arrived at your usual seat at lunch only to be met with Jun sitting to your left, already digging into his box of noodles. You blinked several times to make sure you weren’t hallucinating, then turned to Seungkwan.

“Are you seeing this?”

“I’m just as surprised as you are!”

Jun didn’t look up, or respond to either of you, so you put your stuff down and set a hand on his shoulder. “Dude, what happened?”

“Nothing,” came the monotone reply.

“Obviously it’s not nothing, Jun, how come you’re here? Weren’t you, you know…”

He shook his hair out of his face and looked up at you. “Well, you guys better get used to it again.”

“Wait, are you and Yeona still a thing, or…?”

“Fine,” he sighed. “No, okay? There were a few issues. Will you two stop asking questions so we can sit down? It’s been a month and a half and I just really want to eat lunch with my friends again.”

Jun never spoke to or about Jang Yeona again after that. Every now and then you would attempt to get something out of him, but he absolutely refused to speak about her no matter how hard you tried. At some point, like all aspects of life, it became a thing of the past.

Nobody would be surprised to learn that Wen Junhui’s contact was the first one to be saved in your phone when you finally got one.

It was a beat up, old model that your father had found at the bottom of some drawer, and it barely functioned other than to call and text, but you were content with it anyway. As long as you had a means to communicate with your friends, you were more than happy.

“Who have you been talking to for the past three hours?” Mingyu asked one day, opening your door and peeking through.

You pulled the phone away from your ear. “Jun! Now get out of my room, you doofus.”

“Hah, loser.”

If he thought so, you didn’t care. It ended up being Jun that you called in your free time the most anyways, since Seungkwan had taken up volleyball and Jeonghan was out and about doing nobody knew what. 

He was certainly changing with the years, growing out of the Jeonghan you used to know — a few extra piercings, longer hair, more unkempt uniform. But you just attributed that to the phase of life you were in right now. He still spoke to you often, but things had become slightly more distant.

It made sense. Maybe he needed it. It was best that you gave him space.

You were changing too, all of you. It was just a fact. Seungkwan was three inches taller than you, now, something he took immense pride in, and puberty had hit Jun like a truck.

“You’re literally a tree,” you told him one day. “I can’t believe I have to look up to make eye contact with you.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad!”

“That’s because you’re looking down!”

It wasn’t just his height. His features were much sharper now, and you weren’t sure what on earth he was doing with his hair but you hoped he would keep up with it. He looked good, and you didn’t know if he knew it, but you did, and you were unsure how to feel about that.

A blessing came to you finally in the form of a shared chemistry class with Jun in your junior year. This was a surprise, after years of not being in any together, so you were quite happy as you were looking over your schedules.

“Oh, I’ve got calculus with Jeonghan,” you remarked later, looking at the screenshots your friends had sent in the group chat. “Can’t wait to get humbled.”

“He’s come a long way from needing to be tutored in middle school, hasn't he?” Jun chuckled. “I don’t know how he does it. He’s barely ever in class but still manages to ace the tests.”

“His attendance is pretty spotty, isn’t it? I guess that’s Yoon Jeonghan for you.” You looked at the rest of the blocks. “Do we have literature together?”

“Nope.”

“You’re really leaving me alone with Seungkwan?” you joked.

“Well, I have both physics and art history with him, so I don’t wanna hear any complaints from you, Y/N.”

“Fair.”

As it was your junior year, learning your curriculum was no easy feat. Except for Jeonghan — you couldn’t understand how he was breezing through all his classes — the three of you had your fair share of troubles navigating your course load.

“Between volleyball and calculus, I honestly think I’m just gonna drop dead one of these days.”

“You scored a ninety-six on last week’s test, Seungkwan. You’re doing fine.”

This was the year you ended up making a few new friends through some of your classes, too, since bonding over struggle seemed to be a pretty efficient way of connecting with others. You’d known of Seoyun and Ryu for a few years, but you’d never spoken to them until this year, when the three of you were thrown together for a literature project and none of you knew what to do.

You enjoyed their company. It was good to surround yourself with people you were comfortable with, and aside from the few inevitable bumps in the road, you could say you were doing pretty good for yourself.

Until that one horrendous calculus quiz. 

You’d never failed before. Never. You weren’t the absolute best student by any means, but you were good. An F was something you never saw on your papers, and never expected, but here it was, big and red on the top left corner.

It was more shock than anything else going through your head. You didn’t know how to react, so you just stared down at it until you could feel the tears coming in.

“You okay?”

You looked up at Jeonghan beside you and he immediately winced. 

“You’re not okay,” he decided quickly. “What happened? Bad test?”

“Bad test,” you nodded, hoping he wouldn’t probe further and taking a deep breath so your tears wouldn’t spill over.

“It’s okay. It happens,” he said gently, reaching out to rub your shoulder. “One terrible grade isn’t going to ruin your entire academic career, right? You’re doing fine.”

“But college is right around the corner, and I really need everything to just be right —”

“Don’t have to be perfect to do well,” Jeonghan cut you off with an encouraging smile. “I promise you. You’re gonna be okay, Y/N. You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“Says you, Han.”

He pushed his bangs back and frowned. “I mean it,” he told you earnestly. “I’m not lying.”

“You really think so?”

“I know it.”

That was able to alleviate your worries a little bit, but when you went home and remembered you had a chemistry test the next morning, you immediately went into panic mode again.

“Hey, Jun?”

“Yeah?”

You balanced your phone on your knee. “Have you been reviewing for the chem test tomorrow?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you want to study together? I kinda forgot about it,” you said, embarrassed. “I think I spent too much time worrying about calc.”

“That’s okay,” he said kindly. “Want me to come over?”

He had listened to you rant about your calculus test after school with all the patience in the world, and offered his help if you ever needed it. That was the thing about Jun; he was always patient with you, and he encouraged you to go at your own comfortable pace. You admired that about him.

You let him in happily when he rang your doorbell and the two of you spent hours poring over worksheets and labs, redoing problem sets and memorizing chemical formulas. It was a hard class, there was no doubt about it, but it seemed a little easier with Jun by your side.

Everything did, you mused as you watched him work on a question. Life felt a whole lot lighter when you knew he had your back.

“Wait, I don’t understand why this solution doesn’t work here.”

Jun glanced over at your paper. “Ah, you’re using the wrong formula for two of the calculations. It’s the other one with silicon you need to use.”

“Oh!” you laughed. “Sorry. I can be stupid sometimes.”

“You’re not stupid, Y/N,” he said gently. “You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

“You know, Jeonghan said the same thing earlier today.”

“He’s right,” Jun said simply. “Because you are.”

“I just want you to know you’re speaking to the person who fell asleep walking to class on multiple occasions.”

“Trust me, I’m aware.”

Time passed easily like that with him. It was a wonder, really, how hours could feel like just a few minutes.

“Thanks for the help,” you told him when he started packing up to leave. “I really needed that moral support for a little while.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

“Sorry about bothering you for so long.” You handed him his bag. “I know this took up your whole evening, so…”

Jun looked at you like you were speaking another language entirely. “Dude, you gotta stop acting like you needing help is a burden.” 

“Are you sure that it isn’t?”

“Not to me. Not if it’s you.”

Jun looked at you sincerely, like he really meant it. You knew that he meant it, which kickstarted something in you that you didn’t even realize was ready to go. It was like something unlocked, finally, and now you knew exactly what had been going on in your heart for the past few years.

The second he was out of your house, you stared at the wall in horror, coming to a belated realization.

“Oh my god, Seungkwan was right!”

The boys had, after some long deliberation, placed bets on who Jun would end up taking to senior prom.

Jeonghan had put five dollars on you and called it a day, after which you called him delusional and an idiot. Seungkwan had decided to one up him and put ten bucks on himself, which you tried to talk him out of while Jeonghan was laughing his ass off, but you couldn’t deter him in any way.

Seungkwan had valiantly tried to defend himself. “Jeonghan’s got the school’s entire female population at his feet and Y/N will end up with some hottie, so obviously me and Jun should go together!”

Jeonghan snorted. “Rethink that part about Y/N.”

You shot him a look. “Just because you’ve gone all classic bad boy now doesn’t mean you’re the main attraction here!”

“What do you think this is for, then?” he retorted, vaguely gesturing towards himself

“Yoon Jeonghan, if you seriously think that scar on your nose and all those chains are doing anything for you, I don’t know what to say.” 

They had tried coaxing out your own personal opinion, but you remained vague, and you certainly weren’t about to put money into their random musings. On top of that, you knew Seungkwan knew how you really felt, and you didn’t want to put any more emphasis on that than there already was.

“We have got to get you a date,” Seungkwan said during physics. “I can’t have you moping around over J —”

“I am not moping!”

“Yeah, right, like you aren’t staring at him right now instead of listening to me or paying attention to class.”

“I’m going to strangle you.” 

“Have fun doing that,” he said, flipping his page, “but I’m not letting you borrow my notes when you call me at midnight because you didn’t take any.”

It was like everything and nothing had changed at the same time, after you had admitted your feelings to yourself all those months ago. You still spent the same amount of time around Jun, and you still bickered and argued like before, but now you were aware of a lot of things you chose not to perceive earlier.

Like the soft touch of his fingers, for example, on your shoulder as he comforted you after a bad day. Like the way he smiled and told you everything was going to be okay. You believed him, because how could you not? This was your Jun, your best friend, and every word he said was a mantra in your brain.

It was such a wonderful feeling, but it stung at the same time, because you knew you were only falling deeper into something that could never happen. 

You couldn’t resent Jun for it. None of it was his fault. You could only blame yourself.

“Hey,” he greeted you at lunch the next week. “What’s up?”

“Well, I just had one hell of a chem class,” you replied, cheeks flushing at the earnest look he was giving you. “Kwon Soonyoung accidentally set the ends of Lily’s hair on fire. It was crazy.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have your hair tied up during labs?”

“You’re also not supposed to fool around holding a lit match.” You took your chopsticks out of your bag. “But it doesn’t end there. Hansol spilled an entire flask of hydrochloric acid on himself and had to go home.”

Seungkwan snorted. “Hansol would do that.”

Jun shot him a look and turned back to you. “Is he okay now?”

“He’s fine. It’ll probably burn for a bit, but he’s gotta shower and wash that stuff off.” You shrugged. “Tell me about your day.”

“It was alright. I feel like I haven’t seen you all morning, though,” he said. “It was weird.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Jun, we walked to school together this morning.”

“I know, I just missed you anyways,” he replied. You made the mistake of looking at him when he said those words, and your breath caught in your throat when you made eye contact, because holy shit was your heart beating faster than ever. 

The sensible thing to do would be to look away, but you couldn’t, because it was Wen Junhui, and how could you not look at the very person who made each moment feel like home?

He opened his mouth again and he looked like he was about to say something to you but Seoyun dropped by just then, inviting you to hang out on the weekend. You would have said it was a welcome distraction, to think about anything but him, but you kind of liked it when he was on your mind.

“I’ll be there,” you told Seoyun, heart doing backflips in your chest.

“Two o’clock, Y/N, don’t forget!”

“I won’t!”

“What are you two getting up to?” Seungkwan questioned while trying to pick up a misshapen sushi roll. 

You winced a little when the wrap started to fall apart entirely. “Just, you know, dress shopping.”

“Oh,” he drawled, and you didn’t miss the not so subtle look he threw your way. You knew exactly what that meant. “You got a prom date now?”

“Well, no,” you admitted, “but I’m not gonna hold off on buying a dress for that. I’ll probably end up going with some friends anyway.”

Jun raised an eyebrow. “Like… us?”

“I meant Ryu and Seoyun,” you clarified. “You’re all gonna end up with dates, so I’m not getting in the middle.”

You could see the slightest disappointment in his face when he processed what you said. “We’re not all gonna go together?”

“Junnie, you’re saying this like we aren’t gonna be with each other for the whole night. Besides, I don’t think Seungkwan is planning on letting you go with anybody else.”

Seungkwan nodded proudly in confirmation.

“Well,” Jun leaned forward in his seat, “I mean, what would you do if someone did ask you?”

The sudden question threw you off a little bit, and you had to take a sip of your water before you could answer.

“Depending on who it is, I’d probably say yes? Ryu and Seoyun already agreed that if any one of us happens to get a date, it’s fine, so... Yeah.” You shrugged. “Why?”

“Oh,” he coughed, shaking his head. “I was just wondering. You know, just in case.”

You gave him an odd look. “In case of what?”

“By the way,” Seungkwan cut in suddenly, “any of you know where exactly Jeonghan is or do I need to hunt him down again?”

You and Jun looked at each other and shrugged, coming up blank, but one of the boys from the volleyball team that had just passed by seemed to overhear you.

“Probably at the back corner of the soccer field smoking with his buddies. Or at home skipping class, but that first one’s more likely, honestly.”

“Thank you, Eunwoo.”

You turned back to your friends, shocked. “Smoking? Jeonghan? Are we even talking about the same person?”

“I’m not exactly surprised,” Jun muttered. “Considering who he’s been hanging out with lately.”

Seungkwan nodded. “Yeah, they can be real jerks sometimes. Now that I think about it, it’s no wonder Jeonghan always showed up with those scars everywhere.”

“Those were from them?!” 

It felt like every day you were learning new things you hadn’t seemed to notice before. How is it that you never saw your own friend suffering?

“I don’t see any other explanation. This is exactly why nobody can say no to Seungcheol and his posse.”

The three of you fell silent, looking at each other with uneasy expressions on your faces. 

“Unless any of you really want to go yell at Seungcheol,” Seungkwan added, “which… good luck with that.”

Maybe you should have intervened back then, but you didn’t know any better. You were used to Jeonghan not needing any of you to look after him; it was always him subtly caring for the rest of you, and it didn’t even occur to you that maybe he needed some checking in, too.

“Well,” you said after a few moments, “I’m gonna head to class now. You guys wanna come with?”

“Yeah!” Jun exclaimed, shooting to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll come. Give me just a second.”

Seungkwan sent you a sly look as he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I’ll let you be,” he said. “Get some alone time.”

“Seungkwan.”

“Maybe you could benefit from some one on one —”

“Boo Seungkwan!”

“Just saying, we are never done talking about this, Y/N,” he replied in a singsong voice before walking away. You rolled your eyes at his back. Typical Seungkwan behavior.

“Ready to go?”

You would never not have butterflies looking at Jun, and this time was certainly no exception. There was no escaping this feeling. He was your best friend for life.

“Yeah, c’mon.”

He smiled warmly at you before ducking through the doorway, and it made your heart skip a beat, even more so when he slung his arm around your shoulders and started telling you about his biology class. It was simultaneously one of the best and worst feelings you’ve felt in your entire life, and that just confused you even more.

It was official — you were so going to kill Seungkwan later.

Thwack!

That was the fourth time over the past few minutes you’d heard that sound against your window. At first, you were set on ignoring it and going back to sleep, but now you were fully awake and very annoyed at whatever was making that goddamn noise.

Thwack!

You swore under your breath, tossing your covers off and marching over to the window. Moving aside the curtain, you pulled it open, and —

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me right now.”

“Hello to you, too,” Jeonghan grinned, like the little demon he was. “Please let me in, it’s so cold out here.”

“What the hell are you doing?” you hissed. “How did you even climb up?”

“I’m good at a lot of things. Now will you let me in? I might fall off if you make me stay here any longer.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but let him climb through anyways, making sure he didn’t knock anything over and cause a ruckus. Mingyu was home from college on his break for the next week and had the room right next to you, and you didn’t want to be interrogated by your brother in the middle of the night.

“So,” you said, arms crossed, “are you going to tell me why you’re in my room at one in the morning?”

“Because you let me in?”

“Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Okay, fine,” he relented. “I really need your help.”

“It couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Nope.”

You couldn’t at all understand why he was being so vague. “Alright. Shoot.”

Jeonghan watched you for a second then shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Go to prom with me.”

“Eh?” You raised your eyebrows. “Me? Why? Wait — ”

“As friends,” he said quickly, raising his hands. “Let me just clarify that first.”

“Okay, good to know,” you said, relieved. “Han, this really couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”

“No! What if you already had a date tomorrow?”

“And why do you have to go with me of all people?”

“Because, well…” He trailed off and shrugged. “I mean, I don’t have plans, and you don’t have plans. Yet. Also, Taehyung is trying to set me up with someone and I really don’t want to go with her.”

This piqued your curiosity. “Really? Who?”

“Lee Hyojin.”

“Ohh,” you said, understanding why. “Yeah, you two haven’t gotten along since middle school. Bad idea.”

“Yep.” He rubbed his hands together and pulled them further into the sleeves of his jacket. “So, what do you say?”

“Didn’t you bet Seungkwan that it’d be Jun taking me to prom instead?”

He thought about this for a moment, then said, “Yeah, but he’ll lose too, so I’ll get my five dollars anyway. It doesn’t matter.”

You were still slightly reeling from how random it all was, but… it was Jeonghan, after all, and he was right that neither of you had plans, so why not?

“You know what? Alright,” you gave in. “I’ll go with you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you big idiot,” you rolled your eyes again. “Can we talk about this later? I’d like to go back to sleep before we have to be at school tomorrow.”

Jeonghan sat cross-legged on your floor and looked up at you with a fake pout. “Aw, you’re kicking me out already?”

“Please leave before Mingyu comes in wanting to investigate.”

“Oh, come on —”

“Out!”

The two of you shared a laugh as he climbed out of your window, and you made sure he didn’t hit his head on something going back down. Once he was safely in your yard, you clambered back onto your bed, exhausted and ready to doze off.

Maybe if you weren’t sleepily staring at your ceiling, you would have noticed your phone light up on the desk just a few feet away.

junnie <3: hey idk if ur awake rn butjunnie <3: can we talk for a moment?

“Y/N, can you hurry the fuck up?”

“I’ve been in here for ten minutes, calm down!” you yell back from in front of the mirror, frantically trying to brush through your tangled hair.

You had, in a moment of weakness, hit the snooze button on your alarm this morning, and then woke up an entire hour later to Mingyu slamming his bedroom door shut. In hindsight, a terrible idea, but you blamed Jeonghan’s midnight visit for how tired you had been.

When you finally opened the bathroom door again, Mingyu was standing right there with your bag in one hand and your phone in the other.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m assuming you already ate, but if not I made breakfast. It’s on the kitchen table.”

“Why are you being so helpful?” you asked suspiciously as you took your stuff from him.

“Can’t I just be nice to my little sister for once?”

You sent him a look. 

“Okay, fine,” he sighed. “You got me. I’m just trying to get you to leave a little faster.”

“There you go.” You gave a small smile when Mingyu ruffled your hair and stepped into the bathroom, door locking behind him. He annoyed you immensely at times, but he was your brother after all. He couldn’t not care for you, and vice versa.

Heading out, you scrolled through your phone to catch up on any notifications you missed. There were a few texts from the group chat with Ryu and Seoyun confirming weekend plans, and others from various classmates and friends asking about homework.

cha eunwoo from calc: hey y/n sorry to bother u but what are all the trig identities again

eunjoo: is mr. kyung crazy a 5 page paper due in two days ??????

kwan: girl send bio hw answers PLS i’m literally begging

junnie: deleted a message

junnie <3: deleted a message

Huh? 

You squinted at your screen. There were no texts from Jun after that, and those were sent at nearly one in the morning. Based on when you fell asleep, probably after Jeonghan had left your room.

That was weird. You’d have to ask him what it was about later — later being a few minutes, considering the daily ritual you had of walking to school together.

Sure, some of you could drive now, and it would be a lot easier, but… somehow, this had just stuck over time.

As predicted, you saw the boys approaching in the distance just several moments later. You waved to them, effectively getting Seungkwan’s attention:

“Y/N, I can’t believe you didn’t answer my texts! I was really struggling!”

“Sorry!” you called back. “If it helps, I didn’t reply to Eunwoo either!”

“I’m your best friend, you can’t compare me with Cha Eunwoo!”

Jeonghan merely snorted and Jun let out a laugh, the one that was loud and high pitched and impossibly contagious. You could never get tired of hearing him laugh.

“I don’t even know how he has that much energy in the morning,” he said when they reached you. “I barely got any sleep last night, so I’m dead exhausted.”

“You must be if you texted me at one o’clock,” you teased lightly, bumping his shoulder. “What did you want to talk about? I saw this morning that you deleted it.”

“Oh,” he said, blinking. “It was nothing. It’s fine.”

You frowned at the uncertain expression on his face. “Are you sure?”

“Uh huh.”

“Jun, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”

“I know,” he agreed gently, carding a hand through his still damp hair, “but it’s alright. It wasn’t that important, anyways.”

It still somewhat bothered you that he suddenly didn’t want to tell you what he’d sent, but you let it be for the moment. If he said it was fine, then it was fine. You weren’t going to push him.

“Looks like none of us slept very well aside from Seungkwan,” Jeonghan remarked, fiddling with one of his earrings. “I feel like all the energy has been sucked out of my soul, too.”

You raised your eyebrows. “That’s on you for sneaking into my room when you should have been asleep.”

Seungkwan gasped. “He did what?”

“Relax,” Jeonghan snorted. “I wasn’t committing a crime or anything.”

“Trespassing is a crime!”

“Well, they let me in, so I think I’m clear of any charges.”

Seungkwan just looked between the two of you, completely baffled. 

“You two are insane,” he shook his head. “Nothing has changed since we were kids.”

“Thanks.”

Jun spoke up then, his smooth, honey-like voice in your ear. “I think you skipped the most important part,” he said, frowning. “Why was he in your house in the middle of the night?”

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t that big of a deal,” you patted his shoulder to calm him down a little bit, “basically, we —”

“Y/N’s my prom date!”

You heard Jun choke on absolutely nothing, coughing violently behind you, and Seungkwan nearly tripped over his own feet. Luckily, you managed to yank him back in time before he fell into the pavement face first.

“Whoa,” Seungkwan said,  balancing himself again. “Sorry, I was expecting literally anything else but that”

“You look really surprised,” you observed with a laugh. “We’re just going as friends, guys. It’s chill.”

He immediately turned to Jeonghan. “You had to sneak into their room in the dead of night to ask them to prom as friends?”

Jeonghan winced. “Okay, when you put it that way…”

“See?”

“Guys, it’s fine,” you repeated. “I didn’t have a date, anyways, so I guess this worked out for the best.”

Seungkwan nodded finally. “Well, I didn’t see that coming, but good for you two! When I finally convince Jun to go with his best buddy, Jeonghan is gonna owe me ten bucks, so I’m just waiting on that.”

The two boys started bickering again and you realized Jun had gone completely silent behind you. He walked with the group quietly, staring at the ground and occasionally kicking along the loose rocks in the sidewalk.

You fell back a little, matching his pace. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” His head snapped up and he looked at you, hair falling haphazardly over his forehead. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

“Okay,” you smiled softly. “You’ve been pretty quiet today. Usually you’re up there arguing with those two about something or the other. Or me.”

The corners of his mouth lifted ever so slightly, but it was a little sad, just a little wistful. You missed it entirely, glancing off to the side instead of the momentary crestfallen look on his face.

“Well, you know I didn’t sleep that well,” he answered, “so… that’s probably what it is.”

You simply nodded, taking him for his word. Pushing him wouldn’t get you anywhere, and the last thing you wanted was to make him feel uncomfortable.

Jun never brought it up either. Regardless of how urgent it may have seemed to be the night he texted you, the subject was never heard of again.

Everything else seemed to be going great. College acceptances began to roll in. Your course load started letting up, finally, with the impending arrival of graduation. And — you couldn’t discount the small victories in life — you’d managed to find the perfect prom dress while out shopping with Ryu and Seoyun.

You loved how you looked. The sudden rush of confidence had never been better — you felt so pretty in the soft yellow fabric, thin straps resting snugly against your shoulders. It was simple, but more than enough, and you absolutely adored it.

On the contrary, Jeonghan seemed to have a few qualms about it.

“Yellow?” he asked when you told him the next day. “Like bright yellow?”

“Not super bright, but just… it’s yellow, Han, I don’t know how else to explain this. Is there a problem?”

“Nope,” he grinned, tugging on his ear cuff, “but a yellow tie might mess with my look. You know I have a certain image to uphold.” 

You sent him an exasperated glare.

“I’m just kidding!”

“Yoon Jeonghan, be serious, I’m literally begging right now.”

The days leading up to your prom passed quickly and without much occasion. In fact, all of the chaos was only happening inside your head. You couldn’t deny that you desperately wanted to know who Jun was going with, but you didn’t want to bother him about it and be weird. The two of you didn’t speak much either, only a few words here and there and all of your texts left unread.

After all, you were only his best friend. What was the use of spending so much time wondering who he was taking to prom when you knew it was never going to be you? It was absolutely pointless to keep wondering and imagining. You were starting to think Seungkwan was right about you being delusional.

And yet, you just couldn’t let go.

“Oh, Yoon Jeonghan, you never disappoint.”

“Anything for the lady,” he said graciously, but his eye roll gave it away. (He could only pretend to be annoyed with you, and you knew that.) “If Taehyung questions this at all, I’m going home and dyeing this tie black immediately.”

“You will do no such thing!”

“Yeah? Try me.”

Jun only laughed from his spot behind Jeonghan, the one that lit up his entire face, the one you loved, and you would have been able to enjoy it a little better if not for the brown-haired girl hanging off his arm who was desperately talking his ear off.

You grabbed Seungkwan’s sleeve and pulled him a little closer to you. “Do you know who that is?”

“I honestly don’t know,” he admitted after a few seconds. “Literally never seen her around school, but it doesn’t matter because now I owe Jeonghan five bucks either way.”

“Your fault for making a dumb bet,” you shot back.

“What? Who’s betting?” You gasped, not expecting Jun to butt into the conversation, and nearly tripped over your own dress. “Why do you look so terrified?”

“Stop sneaking up on me like that,” you grumbled, smoothing down your hair as he steadied you with one hand. “I’m going to have a heart attack if you three keep this up.”

“You’re going to be fine.”

“Shut up, Seungkwan.”

Banter was not uncommon between you, but the back and forth was suddenly awkward in the presence of a newcomer in your group. It didn’t look like Ryu and Seoyun knew her either, since neither had spoken to the girl at all, so you were truly wondering where Jun knew her from.

Another thing he never told you. You didn’t know how to feel about that, because there were no secrets between you and him. Jun would tell you anything and everything, so this was oddly new.

“Oh. Guys, this is Heejin —”

“Heather,” she interrupted with a loud laugh, fingers twisting the hem of her purple dress. “I don’t go by my legal name anymore.”

“She’s from New York,” Jun continued, a little disgruntled. “A family friend of mine. She happened to be here for vacation, so I brought her here.”

Everyone went around introducing themselves and saying their hellos, but you couldn’t help but dislike her even more the longer she spent with you. You were starting to feel the way you did in middle school again, burning indignantly under Yeona’s arrogant smile.

Jeonghan didn’t seem to notice, too preoccupied with having a good time. And that was fine — great, because you weren’t ready for a confrontation with him, and you were sure he was going to interrogate you if he ever doubted your feelings for Jun. 

“Hey,” Seungkwan found you at the edge of the dance floor, looking a little concerned. “Feeling okay?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“I think you forget how well I know you sometimes,” he sighed, straightening out his tie. “Do you really think I don’t know what’s going on in your head right now?”

“I’d rather you didn’t. It’s pretty embarrassing.”

“It isn’t,” he insisted sincerely. “But clearly it’s just putting you in a worse mood. I was all the way over there, and one look at your face told me something was up.”

“Maybe you’re just paranoid,” you tried deflecting.

“No,” Seungkwan said, smiling gently, “I’m your best friend.”

You let him walk you to the small balcony, claiming you would be fine after a little bit of fresh air, and he didn’t question or push you any further after that, leaving you to yourself quietly. The wind stung your bare arms, but you found that you didn’t mind it all that much. After all, you’d experienced a more searing kind of pain lately while grappling with your feelings for a certain someone. In the face of that, this was basically nothing.

“Y/N?” Speak of the devil. “What are you doing out here?”

You brought your arms around yourself a little tighter as Jun approached you, leaning against the railing. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked in turn. “Shouldn’t you be dancing with Heather and keeping her company?”

“Maybe I should,” Jun shrugged. His hair was all tousled now because of the wind, but he still looked handsome as ever. “But she seems like she’ll be fine on her own. It’s you that I was looking for.”

It was gradually getting colder, and you shifted closer to him in search of some body heat. Jun had always been the epitome of warmth, radiating it like the sun itself, and so you felt infinitely better standing by his side in the night breeze.

Neither of you spoke for a while, and it could have been nice, but you knew that the silence was heavy. So many unanswered questions about the future that you hadn’t addressed were laying there, on top of the slight tension the two of you had experienced over the past week. 

What came next? None of you had brought up college yet, and even though the deadline to make a choice wasn’t quite over, you knew all of your friends had to have an idea of where they were going. And what would become of you then? Your precious group, all those memories you’ve collected for years… 

Jun let out a deep sigh from beside you. “I just want to make it clear,” he started softly, “that I haven’t been avoiding you. Or Seungkwan, or Jeonghan. Not on purpose. And I know I haven’t texted any of you guys back in forever, but —”

“Junnie, it’s okay —”

“It’s not okay,” he said, more forcefully. “You guys didn’t do anything, but I’ve been making you second guess it for like, a week now. I feel terrible about it.”

You placed a hand on his arm to try and comfort him. “That’s not true, Jun.”

“You don’t have to tell me these things for me to know, Y/N. I’ve been your friend for years,” he answered, and you knew he was right. 

“Jun, it’s okay,” you repeated. “You don’t have to explain yourself. We don’t blame you for anything.”

He only lowered his head, eyes shut, like he was absorbing your words, juggling them around in his mind. Every second that passed in silence made your heart beat faster. Had you said something wrong again?

“Lots of things were going on. It was just hard,” he admitted. You hated seeing him like this, anxious and troubled. You rarely saw this side of him, anyway — he was always very good at concealing his negative thoughts, but at times like this he felt comfortable enough to open up to you. “Just — my brother was sick, and then school stuff, and then, you…”

You held your breath, waiting for him to finish that sentence. There were a thousand possible things he could have said, for a thousand different reasons, but you wanted to hear the one in his mind at the moment. 

“I?”

You would replay this moment for the rest of your life. For years from now, you would be recreating the way Jun looked at you for those few seconds. Not quite fondly, but more like he was in awe as his eyes were trained on you. Like he was left speechless, like you were something unreal. You weren’t sure what the look in his eyes meant, and you wouldn’t know until he said something, anything.

“... Never mind.”

Crash, went your heart, shattering into infinite pieces on the balcony floor, the frozen moment cracked, just like that. You could say nothing, couldn’t give yourself away, so you only plastered a small smile on your face, hoping he’d understand. (He wouldn’t. How could he?)

All you could do was watch him as he went on with his apology, all shiny eyed and simply gorgeous under the dim lighting, trying to ignore how you felt like you could barely breathe anymore.

“... I’m so sorry.” Jun paused when he was done to look up at you again, and he seemed startled at your expression. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

You hadn’t realized you had tears welling up in your eyes, but you could feel them threatening to spill now. Silently you willed them not to fall, blinking quickly to get rid of them.

“Yeah,” you managed. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Do you need me to do anything for you?”

“Go inside,” you told him, maybe a little harsher than he deserved. He didn’t know, after all. He had no idea. 

“Y/N —” 

“I just wanna be alone for a while,” your voice came out in a shaky whisper. You hated how vulnerable you felt and sounded, and as much as you hoped Jun wouldn’t pick up on it, you knew he would. 

And you knew Jun. You were well aware that he was the kind of person who wouldn’t believe you whenever you said you were fine, because he saw right through your lie every time. He was a rather persistent kind of friend, trying time and again in small ways to do anything, everything, for you.

But he just nodded now, head lowered, and slowly walked away from your trembling figure. You couldn’t know why — maybe he sensed you truly wanted some space, or maybe he was just sick and tired of you not knowing what you wanted or how to deal with yourself. You would be, if you were him.

It was only after the door slid shut behind him and his footsteps faded away into the liveliness of the night that you let your tears freely fall.

You hadn’t contacted Seungkwan in a while. To be exact, it had been nearly a day since you last interacted with him. Some would call you dramatic, but you didn’t care. 

To you, it felt like an eternity. You couldn’t call him now — he was probably busy — but you were looking at an old picture in your camera roll, a shot taken of the four of you sitting side by side on one of the benches at your high school. It made you feel nostalgic, a little bittersweet, and you wished you knew about his plan to go to college abroad a little earlier. You would have felt like you had more time with him.

A loud knock at your bedroom door startled you suddenly, and you dropped your phone on the floor with a yelp.

“Y/N!”

“Yeah?”

Jun pushed the door open slowly as you checked your phone screen for any cracks. “Are you ready to go yet? Our stuff’s all loaded, we’re just waiting on you.”

Oh, right. You stared around at your room, your belongings all packed in cardboard boxes that were now stacked on top of each other in the trunk of your parents’ car, leaving your walls and shelves nearly bare.

Seungkwan might be halfway across the world right now, but your friends were all attending the same university not too far from where you lived, and you were moving in today, leaving behind the street and homes you’d known for most of your lives.

You didn’t feel ready, and maybe you never would be, but you knew that you couldn’t possibly delay this moment any longer.

“Jeonghan’s driving, by the way,” Jun told you as you followed him down your staircase. He waved hello to your parents as they were tidying up in the living room, and you couldn’t help the way your chest tightened at the small gesture. “I didn’t have much of a choice. He got my keys and was in my car before I was even out of the house.”

“Jeonghan? Really?” 

“I’m dead serious,” he said, opening your front door. “Look.”

There he was, Yoon Jeonghan in all his glory, leaning back in the driver’s seat with his feet propped up on the dashboard. As far as you could recall, he had not driven once since first getting his license (on the fourth attempt), so you weren’t sure if you were going to survive this hour-long car ride.

“Don’t you want shotgun?” you asked as you approached the car. Jun had already headed for the backseat but stopped short at your question.

“Nah,” he shook his head. His hair looked so fluffy, and it made him seem more adorable than usual. “It’s better if you sit in the front with your motion sickness. Don’t want you throwing up on move-in day, do we?”

You hadn’t expected him to remember that. In fact, you didn’t really remember mentioning it to him, so the fact that he knew had you a little bit stumped. (And slightly flustered, if you were going to be completely honest.)

“Oh, you’re here,” Jeonghan greeted you with a devious smile when you were buckled in, lowering his sunglasses dramatically. “I’ve been waiting for like, thirty minutes. What took you so long?”

“Feet off my dash, please,” Jun reminded him from the backseat. With a groan, Jeonghan returned to a normal sitting position, finally starting the car.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled, making you and Jun chuckle, and pulled out of your driveway. “Have our parents left yet?”

“I think they’re gonna get going in a few minutes.”

“Great. We’ve got a head start.” Jeonghan winked at the rearview mirror, and Jun made a gagging noise from the back. Their antics made you laugh, as always — some things would never change, and your dynamic seemed to be part of that category.

After a harrowing seventy-six minutes, several close calls on the highway, and a lot of swearing from Jeonghan, you finally pulled into the parking lot in front of the university residence halls. Jun had somehow fallen asleep amidst all the chaos, so you shook him awake gently.

“Hey,” you whispered, brushing his hair off his forehead. “We’re here. You gotta get up and unpack.”

“Hmm?” Oh, the sight of him looking up at you with sleepy eyes and half messed up hair made you feel a certain way, had you in a death grip. 

“Let’s go, or Jeonghan is going to lock you inside your own car. You know he can and will do it.”

Jun nodded his agreement and followed you further into the campus. Your parents wouldn’t be here for quite a while, Jeonghan was telling you, so you decided to scope out where your dorms were for the time being.

You were conveniently located on the ground floor, but Jun was on the fourth floor in the same hall that had no elevators, and Jeonghan was in the next hall over. The three of you decided to camp out in your room, so you unlocked the door and propped it open, letting them file in.

“Your roommate’s not here yet,” Jeonghan observed, taking in the blank walls. “So I guess you get first pick, then.”

“For what? Both sides are identical.”

“I don’t know, don’t you want to establish a power dynamic early on?”

“No?” You sent him a funny look. “You’re a menace through and through, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Thanks. I’ve been practicing.”

While you were busy thinking of something to say in response to that, you heard someone walk in through the door you left open. Maybe it was your roommate, you turned around expectantly, but you froze at the sight of a tall, handsome man in your room. He looked rather frazzled, you noticed, as if he’d just been running through the hall.

“Hey, have any of you seen another dude ‘round here, around this tall and carrying a blue leather notebook with a Cinnamoroll sticker on it?” he asked, the words rushed out of his mouth.

All three of you just stared at him blankly.

“Is he your roommate?”

“That was oddly specific.”

“You like Cinnamoroll?”

Immediately, you pinched Jeonghan’s side for the last comment and smiled warmly at the newcomer as your friend let out a pained yelp. 

“Sorry, we haven’t seen your guy,” you told him apologetically. “Was the notebook important?”

“Well, kind of. It’s my recipe book that I’ve been keeping for a while,” the mystery man explained, sighing. 

“Oh,” you said at this information. “Do you want us to help you find it?”

“Eh, it’s alright. He just likes messing around with me every now and then, he’ll return it soon,” he shrugged, smiling sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu, by the way.”

You went around doing your introductions, and by the time you had him sitting on the floor in a circle with the rest of your friends, you found that you liked Mingyu very much. What was not to like? He was good-looking, smart, and funny — not to mention he was an exceptional cook as well. The last time you were in a kitchen with your friends, they’d managed to burn the ramen and set off your fire alarm. This was a welcome change, and a distraction from Jun that you were very grateful for.

“Wonwoo’s finally done pulling my leg,” Mingyu said after a while, reading his texts with a chuckle. “I guess I’ll get going now. I’ve still got some stuff to put away.”

You walked Mingyu out into the hallway while your friends looked on, one in amusement, and one in an unexplained bitterness he couldn’t quite place.

“It was nice meeting you,” you said, fiddling with the hem of your T-shirt. “You should come around more often. I can tell Jun and Jeonghan really liked getting to know you. Maybe you can bring your roommate over, too.”

“I hope you don’t mind if I take you up on that offer,” Mingyu replied, flashing you a charming smile so wide you caught a glimpse of his sharp canines. “Can I get your number? I-I mean, to contact you, you know… just that —”

You chuckled softly at how nervous he seemed to be and readily swapped phones so you could exchange your numbers. 

Mingyu handed yours back with a contented grin.“See you around, Y/N.”

“See you.” 

When he was finally gone, you spun around to face your friends, waiting for them to say something. Jeonghan was staring at you with his jaw dropped, and Jun had his arms crossed with an expression that reminded you of a grumpy cat.

“Man, how are you pulling within thirty minutes of pulling up to your dorm?”

“Shut up, Han.” You settled back down in your seat and looked straight at Jun. Unflinchingly, he gazed right back at you. His brows were furrowed and he seemed slightly put off, but you still thought he was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever laid your eyes on. 

You cleared your throat with a cough. “Why do you look so upset, Junnie?”

“I’m not upset, I’m just worried for you,” he defended, a small pout on his face. “You don’t know anything about Mingyu! He could just be a really shitty guy who works out for the clout and pretends to be a good cook so he can get phone numbers from pretty girls like you!”

Everything that was in your brain automatically wiped itself when you heard the last part of his sentence, but you quickly hid how flustered you were behind a pointed smirk.

“You think I’m pretty?”

Jun rolled his eyes and flicked your forehead. “That’s not the point, dummy.”

“Ow, what the fuck?”

Jeonghan always had a good time watching the two of you bicker, but now, leaning against the wall, he wondered exactly how long the two of you were going to dance around each other and do nothing about it. Months? Years? When were you both going to just wake up? 

Honestly, he was starting to second guess what he thought he knew about both of your feelings.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out for a moment,” he announced when the two of you quieted down a little. “Mom just texted, said they’re gonna be here soon. I’ll just let them know where we are.”

You and Jun nodded, in sync, at the well-told lie. Jeonghan made sure to slip away quietly, leaving you to quarrel in peace and saving himself from the awkwardness of being an unverified third wheel until your parents really did show up.

Before he left the room, he looked back for a quick second. He saw clearly the way you looked at Jun, understood perfectly what was in your heart even though you had never told him. He only hoped he was right that Jun felt the same.

To your utter and complete dismay, it didn’t take all that long for your seemingly perfect group to fall apart.

You rarely saw Jeonghan after the first few weeks, if at all. Every time you scanned a crowd or street for that familiar black jacket and silver earring, you were left disappointed, and every time you called it was left unanswered. It was like he chose to vanish from your day to day life, and you didn’t know why.

It was a little better with Jun: you still saw each other when you could, and texted often, but it was still hard. After your first semester was over, it was more difficult to align your schedules. He was an engineering major, and you were in graphic design — you didn’t have any classes together as time went by, and most of the things you did outside of class to further your careers were entirely different as well.

The very first time you visited home after moving in, it was three of you in Jun’s beat up car. The second time you went back, it was only you and Jun.

By the time your second year rolled around, it was just you on the short train ride to the station closest to your street.

You wanted to tell Seungkwan every time he called and you talked for hours, confide in him about your worries. Look, you wanted to say, look what’s become of us. You’re in Boston, Jeonghan basically disappeared, and I barely ever see Jun even though we’re both on campus all the time. 

But you couldn’t. Seungkwan always sounded so happy, so cheerful, that whenever you heard that telltale ‘what about you?’, it was impossible to actually tell the truth.

So you didn’t.

The one thing that seemed to be going well for you was your relationship with Mingyu. You met him several more times after move-in that day, and when you found out you shared quite a lot of courses with him, an animation major, falling into an easy friendship with him just felt like the right thing to do.

You’d befriended his roommate in the process, too — Wonwoo was secretly unhinged and wore a quiet facade, and he quickly became very good friends with Jun, who seemed to enjoy the former’s company a lot. They were both in engineering, after all, so you figured they would have found each other someday if not through you and Mingyu.

Things were alright. But they could be a little better, you thought whenever you scrolled through old pictures on your phone, or stared a little too long at the photo of the group you always kept in your wallet.

“Aw, that’s cute.”

You snapped your head up so fast you thought you might break your neck. “Mingyu!”

“Hi,” he laughed at your surprised reaction, sliding into the empty seat in front of you. “Where’s that picture from?”

“Oh, this?” You smoothed a finger over the top of the Polaroid fondly. “It’s from our first day of high school. I’ve got one from graduation in my phone, too,” you flipped it to show him, “so it all goes full circle, kinda.”

“Can I see?”

Gingerly, he took your phone and the Polaroid as you handed it to him, and examined it intently. You watched as he smiled softly at the sight of your adolescent selves, happy and free of the troubles of growing up.

“Who’s that?”

“Who?” You scooted closer so you could see. “Oh, Seungkwan,” you chuckled. “He’s gone abroad for college, living it up in Boston now.”

“You miss him, don’t you?”

You hugged your knees to your chest and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in your chest. “Yeah,” you admitted. “He’s one of my best friends, and we still keep in touch and stuff, but…”

“It’s not the same?”

“Exactly.”

“Man, Jeonghan looks like a whole different person with short hair,” he remarked, moving on to the picture on your phone. You were grateful for the diversion, and you happily poked fun at Jeonghan’s drastic change in style with your new friend while he pulled up old photos of him and Wonwoo to show you in exchange.

It was nice, to talk about the old times. You missed the simplicity of high school, and how close you all were — it was always just a two-minute walk over to Jeonghan’s front door. Now it was thirty-two missed calls, and no response.

“Hey, my design class is in ten minutes, so as much as I loved bonding over embarrassing high school memories, I do have to go,” Mingyu said after nearly an hour of reminiscing over your childhoods. “You don’t have anything else tonight, right? Should we meet in the dining hall at nine?”

“Nine should be good,” you agreed, checking your phone. “I’ll see you at dinner, Gyu.”

“Bye!”

You sighed when he left, finally focused enough to get back into the groove of doing all the work you’d been procrastinating on all day. Unwisely, you had chosen to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day, which meant all your work was getting pushed to tonight.

You opened up a file and were just about to type the first word when your phone started buzzing.

“So much for productivity,” you grumbled to yourself, flipping it over, and your breath caught in your throat when you checked the caller ID. It was always you texting, calling, to try and coordinate plans. How long had it been since he contacted you first? 

“Jun?”

“Hi,” came his breathless voice. “Um, are you at your dorm right now?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Jun, have you been running?”

“No,” he said, but you always knew when he was lying and the inflection in his voice didn’t help his case at all. “I’m, uh, I just got out of class and I don’t really have much else to do tonight, and — do you want to eat together?”

“Huh?” You almost dropped your phone. “Aren’t you busy?”

“Y/N, I wouldn’t be asking if I was.” He paused, and all you could hear was the wind on his end of the line. “I just… wanted to see you. I know it’s been a while since we’ve properly spent time together.”

You weren’t sure how to feel. On one hand, you were slightly hurt that he hadn’t reached out to you earlier, couldn’t make time for you just once — but he was doing it now, and that had to count for something, didn’t it?

Then again, this was Jun. You always had it in you to forgive him, because no matter how upset you were, you couldn’t help the fact that you loved him, plain as day. 

“Alright,” you said finally. “Text me where and when, okay?”

“You got it.”

With that, you ended the call, and shot Mingyu a quick sorry, something came up text. He wouldn’t read it until after he was out of his class, but you stared at it long after it went through, trying to process all of your messy feelings about Jun. 

How had it come this far? Why had you let it get this bad in the first place?

Fifteen minutes passed until you realized you had gotten no work done and were still lost in your thoughts about your best friend. With a frustrated groan, you hid your face in your hands, frustrated to the verge of pulling all of your hair out.

So much for productivity.

You hadn’t realized a person could change so much over the course of a month or two. Sure, it’d been a while since you’d seen Jun, really seen him, but you weren’t expecting for it to hit you this hard.

For one, he’d dyed his hair so that now there were brown streaks in it, and you couldn’t deny that it was an extremely good look on him. Not only that, he seemed more serious, more mature, like he’d finally grown into himself and was confident about who he was.

“You keep eyeing your phone,” he remarked now over a plate of cold noodles. “Did you ditch a date to be here or something?”

You winced, tucking your phone further under your bag. Close. “Not exactly, but I did have to reschedule with Mingyu, so...”

“Mingyu?” A weird expression came across Jun’s face, one you couldn’t comprehend. “Huh. I didn’t know you were into guys like him.”

“What? Jun, I’m not attracted to him or anything, if that’s what you’ve been thinking for the two years he’s been our friend,” you dismissed the idea. How could it be true, when you only had eyes for Jun?

And you’d tried, really. You tried so hard, but Mingyu had always remained a friend, and Jun had remained in your heart, rooted to the ground so deep you could never cut him away and replace him with somebody else.

“Well, I don’t know,” Jun shrugged, eyes trained on his food. “He’s tall, good-looking, smart, makes amazing kimchi jjigae…”

“We’re just friends, Junnie,” you said softly. “That’s all Mingyu’s ever been to me. So don’t worry, okay?”

“I’m not worrying, I’m just saying that he’s a nice guy.” You had no idea where all this was coming from, but it sort of stung for some reason. “And you deserve that, you know. A good person.”

All too soon, you felt your cheeks heat up, and suddenly you were looking everywhere but right in front of you. 

“I — thanks,” you said, “but really, Jun, you don’t have to concern yourself about this. At all. Like, I haven’t dated anyone, and I don’t think I will anytime soon, so…”

“Why not?”

You froze at this, not really knowing how to respond. How were you supposed to react? There were multiple things you could say but none of them were appropriate for the relationship you currently had with Jun.

I’ve been in love with you since we were in eighth grade. You’re the only one who’s always on my mind. I don’t want to go on a date if it’s not with you.

“Never got around to it,” you ended up saying nonchalantly. If your act was good enough, Jun would probably buy it. “What about you?” 

You regretted the question as soon as it left your mouth, and you internally berated yourself for blurting it out the moment it popped into your head. Jun, however, took the question and ran with it.

“Me?” he chuckled softly, setting his chopsticks down and looking back at you. He was silent for so long you’d started to think you’d touched on something he didn’t particularly want to share, but then you met his gaze again and it took you back.

All of a sudden, it was the night of senior prom again, you out on the balcony and Jun standing beside you with the wind in your hair and a multitude of words on the tip of his tongue that you wouldn’t get to hear.

“Never got around to it.”

Again, you masked your disappointment behind a mildly amused smile.

“Foul,” you said with a shake of your head. “Can’t believe my best friend of almost ten years is keeping secrets from me.”

“I’m telling you the truth!” Jun exclaimed, laughing at your expression. “Seriously, Y/N! If I ever get a girlfriend, I’m telling you first. Okay? I promise.”

You weren’t sure how you would react if you ever did hear that news, but for now you just nodded and let the conversation move on to a less personal topic. Jun deserved love too, the pure, sweet kind, and you didn’t know if you could give him that. Maybe what you felt for him wasn’t enough.

“I’m glad we did this,” Jun told you once you finished your meal and were walking out of the dining hall together. It was a lovely evening, cool and breezy, and with his fluffy hair and gentle smile you could almost convince yourself that he was yours, for the moment. “We should do it more often, Y/N. I missed hanging out with you.”

It was like he could read your mind. “I missed you, too.”

You watched him walk away after you hugged him and promised to meet soon with an odd, heavy feeling in your chest, like it was tightly squeezing against your heart and you couldn’t breathe anymore. Jun walked away with your heart in his hands once again, and you could only hope that he would handle it carefully, after all these years —

“Shit, where did I put it,” you muttered as you scrambled to find your ringing phone. Finally locating it in your bag, you pulled it out and had to stare at your screen for a few seconds to figure out whether or not you were hallucinating.

At last, you decided to pick up. “Hello?”

“Hi, is this Y/N?”

That was most definitely not Jeonghan’s voice, you realized, frowning. “Yes? Where is Jeonghan?”

“Um,” the man on the other line paused for a moment, “he’s right here, but I think he’s had a little too much alcohol already and he probably shouldn’t stay any longer. You were the first number in his emergency contact list, so I thought I’d call.”

“Okay,” you let out a relieved sigh you didn’t know you had in you. “Okay. What’s your name?”

“Jihoon.”

“Alright, Jihoon, just… send me your location and hold on to him for a bit, okay? I’ll be there as quickly as I can.”

“Sure thing.”

The notification arrived as soon as you hung up on Jihoon. On the verge of panicking, you entered the address into your GPS and set off in the direction of your destination before you realized you hadn’t brought your car to campus and stopped right in your tracks.

It was only fifteen minutes away by foot. Technically, you could walk… but you didn’t know if you really wanted to head through the residential part of town alone this late at night.

Do I really have to do this right now? 

You debated on it for a while, and then pulled out your phone again.

you: hey

junnie: hii

you: i know its a bit late but can u do me a quick favor pls

junnie: sure whats up!

you: u have ur car right? can u come with me to pick jeonghan up?

junnie: yes i’ll be there asap

junnie: wait what????

you: i’ll explain later i promise

junnie: where are u

you: still by the dining hall!

junnie: ok on my way

It was getting colder the longer you waited outside, and you were on the brink of deciding to go wait in the lounge when that familiar black car pulled up in front of the parking lot. You didn’t need a text to come through to know it was Jun, and you all but ran to the passenger side. 

“So,” he started, eyes on the road as he drove, “what’s going on?”

“Um…” You stared at your hands clasped together in your lap. “I got a call from Jeonghan. Well, it was his friend, but he’s incredibly drunk right now and…”

“Oh.” Jun glanced at the time out of the corner of his eye. “Already? It’s just a quarter past ten.”

“That’s Jeonghan for you, I guess,” you snorted, shivering slightly as your bare skin tingled from the chill. Jun let his eyes shift to you briefly, taking in your frigid state.

“Are you cold?”

“Kinda,” you said, “but it’s fine.”

Jun shook his head, taking a hand off the wheel. “I brought a spare hoodie,” he informed you, gesturing towards the backseat. “Should be over there, if you can reach it, or I can pull over for a second.”

“No, keep driving.” You easily grabbed the hoodie lying on the backseat, and you recognized it as one of his favorites, the beige one with a koi fish pattern on the front. Your stomach felt like it was flipped upside down, and you didn’t know how to comprehend it, so you just pulled it over your shirt in silence.

Every time you thought you were done, Jun would do something like this. He would care for you, show you how much you meant to him, and then you were done for all over again. It was a vicious cycle.

“This is the place, right?”

You shifted your gaze away from him and to the GPS open on your phone. “Yeah,” you said, unbuckling your seatbelt. “I’ll just go in and grab him. Be right back.”

“Wait, I’ll come with you!”

“It’s fine —”

Jun leaned back in his seat and frowned at you. “They’re likely all drunk out of their minds, Y/N. I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“I’m nearly twenty, I can handle it,” you assured him. You would never actually admit that the real reason you wanted to go alone was that he made your head spin so intensely, you just needed a few moments to breathe. 

“Are you sure?”

“Junnie, I’ll be okay,” you smiled. “I’ll be back with Jeonghan, okay?”

He rolled his eyes, almost comically, and folded his arms over his chest — you had forgotten how dramatic he could be at times, and you chuckled silently at the sight of this side of him again. 

“Alright,” he mumbled. “Text me if you need me, okay?”

You promised him you would with a firm nod and headed towards the house. You could hear the loud music even from where you were and inwardly sighed as you knocked on the door.

No response. You knocked again, much harsher this time, and then it finally opened to a very confused-looking guy with bright blue hair.

“Almost didn’t hear ya,” he remarked, eyeing your attire suspiciously. “Y’need something, or?”

“Um,” you didn’t know how to navigate this situation. “I’m here to pick someone up… Do you know where I can find Jihoon?”

The guy perked up almost instantly at the supposedly familiar name. “Jihoon? ‘Course. C’mon, follow me,” he said, propping the door open wider so that you could step inside.

The first thing that hit you was the overwhelming bass in your ear, and the second was the strong smell of alcohol and sweat that you had never experienced before. You wrinkled your nose as you tried not to lose the blue-haired guy in front of you.

“I’m Yeonjun, by the way,” he told you, and you couldn’t really tell whether he was drunk or not. You could barely even hear him over the music. 

“Cool,” you managed to respond. “I’m Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, there’s your guy,” Yeonjun stopped walking and nodded over to a more secluded corner. You immediately spotted Jeonghan, sitting on a stool with his head in his hands and accompanied by a much more sober-looking person. “Not sure whatcha need him for, but good luck.”

“What do you mean?”

“See ya!” he called over his shoulder, and he was gone before you could question him further. But you didn’t really care, not when Jeonghan was right there just a few feet away from you.

The man beside him raised his head as you approached them, eyes narrowing before his expression relaxed in recognition. “Y/N?”

“That would be me,” you sighed. “Jihoon, right?”

“In the flesh.”

You glanced down at your friend, still silent and hunched over. “Uh, is he doing alright?”

“He can barely walk, but otherwise he’ll be okay. I got him to drink some water, if that helps.”

“Yes. Amazing, thank you,” you told Jihoon, gently shaking Jeonghan’s shoulders. He just groaned and shifted his head to the side, shoulder-length black hair falling into his face. It would be a silly sight if the context was any different.

“How are you so wasted at ten o’clock on a Wednesday,” you muttered, trying to get him to open his eyes. “Han, we gotta go, okay? I’ll help you get to the car, but you have to work with me here.”

“Nooo,” he groaned again, almost faceplanting onto the granite counter. “Don’t wanna go.”

You pursed your lips. “Yoon Jeonghan, if you cooperate with me right now I swear on my life I will buy you any Lego set you want. With my own savings. Please.”

That seemed to get his attention — you were very aware of Jihoon watching you with amusement the whole time — and he blinked slowly as he sat up on the stool.

“Eh… Junnie?”

That damn sweatshirt. “It’s me, Han, Y/N.”

“Oh!” He laughed then, loudly, and his breath smelled strongly of the alcohol he’d been drinking. “Y/N’s buying me Legos.”

“They are, but only if you make this easy for them,” you said under your breath, helping him stand and looping his arm around your shoulder. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Jihoon.”

“No problem,” he replied, still watching the both of you. “You want help bringing him out to the car?”

“Actually, yes,” you admitted, struggling to support both yourself and Jeonghan’s weight. “That would be great.”

After a lot of struggling and many, many swears from Jihoon, you finally managed to get Jeonghan to the car, propping open the door so you could get him into the backseat. Jun was already out of his seat by the time you left the house, and he buckled Jeonghan’s seatbelt carefully so you could catch a break.

“Is he alright?” he asked you quietly once Jihoon had gone back inside.

“He’ll be fine. Do you know where he lives?”

“Not on campus, probably, but I could probably get in touch with his roommate. Hold on.”

You sat beside Jeonghan as Jun typed away furiously on his phone, keeping an eye on your drunk friend as you burrowed yourself further into Jun’s hoodie, if that was even still possible. It was cold out, and the dread you felt creeping up on you wasn’t helping at all.

“Bingo!” Jun turned around in his seat and held his phone out to you. “Got an address. Just a few minutes away.”

You squinted at the screen, skipping the texts and reading the contact name instead. “Joshua Hong?”

“Roommate,” Jun explained, starting the car again. “Do you wanna come sit up front? Your motion sickness is generally way worse when you’re in the backseat.”

He knew you so well, and you hated how it made you fall just a little bit more in love with him each time.

“It’s fine,” you said, those other thoughts dying on your tongue. “It’s not that long of a drive, anyway, and someone’s gotta keep an eye on this one.”

“Okay, but move up after we drop him off, alright?”

The short drive to the apartment was pretty silent, save for Jeonghan’s occasional drunk babbling — you had no idea what he was saying, but you figured once he got some water into his system, as well as some sleep, he would be good as new.

It wasn’t long before Jun was parked in front of a four-story building and the two of you were supporting your friend up one flight of stairs. You hadn’t realized exactly how unstable Jeonghan was until now; he could barely walk up the stairs without nearly tripping over nothing at all.

“Finally,” Jun remarked, pushing open the door to the second floor with a grunt. “Can’t believe the elevator was broken. We have great timing.”

You just nodded along as Jun counted the apartment numbers down the hallway. 

“207, 209, 211… Here! 213.” 

It didn’t take more than one knock for the door to swing open to a tall, blond-haired, very concerned looking man.

“Oh, come in — here,” he said, propping the door open and helping you bring Jeonghan to the couch. “I did tell him to stay home tonight, but he never does listen, does he?”

“That’s Jeonghan for you,” Jun replied, the look on his face a strange mixture of fondness and pain. “He had some water, so I think he should be fine after some sleep.”

“His hangover’s gonna be so bad,” his roommate chuckled, turning to face you both with a gentle smile. “I’m Joshua, from the biological sciences department. You guys must be Junhui and Y/N, right?”

The two of them spoke for a few minutes, and you let them bond while you sat on the couch beside Jeonghan’s sleeping figure. Carefully, you brushed a few strands of stray hair away from his face and mourned the loss of time you could have spent with him, like you did when you were children.

You couldn’t believe how distant he had become over the past two years, like you and Jun were strangers. Radio silence, and then a call from Jihoon to come pick him up. And that was it? Could you ever really go back?

Mid-conversation, you caught Jun’s steady gaze. Do you want to leave? his eyes said.

You looked back at him with all the love in the world that he would never notice. Yes.

The drive back was mostly silent — not the awkward kind, but the easy quiet that you had always had with him. It was always during moments like these when you thought that you and Jun would be good together, in another universe where things were a little different. The two of you had just clicked in a way you never really did with anyone else. The idea that it would likely never be anything more than that made your heart ache, sitting there on the passenger side of your best friend’s car.

Jun pulled up to your dorm sooner than you would have liked. A few more minutes, you had thought, but even that wouldn’t have been quite enough.

“Get some sleep,” he said gently as you stepped onto the sidewalk. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You knew as well as he did that that was a lie disguised as a trite platitude. You weren’t going to see him tomorrow, or the day after. Maybe in a few weeks, if you were lucky, or a month. 

“See you,” you told him anyway. “And thank you for driving me, Jun.”

“Always, Y/N,” he smiled. “Anytime.”

That was a lie, too, even though you knew he wouldn’t ever intend it as such. Over the past year, you had gotten used to Jun’s earnest promises that usually turned up empty. When you did see him, he was always so caring that you could almost forget how you felt in his absence. Things felt like they were just a few years ago, but in reality you anticipated that they would never be the same again.

Your roommate was asleep when you gently shut your door, kicking off your sneakers and shuffling over to your desk, still cluttered from an earlier study session in the morning. While putting some pens away, your gaze fell to the framed photo on your desk, the sunlight in the picture pushing some warmth into your heart.

You looked at it for a while. Those had been good times. Some of the best, even. As children, you had all dreamed of what college would be like, how much better things would be as adults, but this was the one thing you could not have anticipated.

No, it was no good reminiscing now. It was already nearly two in the morning. You sighed and turned the frame over, setting it face down on your desk. It was time for bed.

soo here it is! currently i have no plans to continue this in the near future, but we will see! feel free to come discuss it with me if you like :D

-vedya

[natusvincere]

Lois Lane Reporting Live|| Felix and Vic

Timing: About a week ago Location: The Grit Pit Partings: @recoveringdreamer and @natusvincere Summary: Vic has somehow come up with the idea that the Grit Pit is operating as a secret underground ring to harm vampires, Felix becomes the unfortunate victim of her investigation. Warnings: N/A

Felix had been… employed by the Grit Pit for some time now. They’d fallen into the routine of it, even if they wanted, more than anything, to get out. They knew the people who were there regularly, from the frequent spectators with their loud voices and angry words to the upper management and their cruel games. More than anything, though, Felix was familiar with the other fighters. They’d faced most of them in the Pit at one point or another, and the ones they hadn’t fought, they’d seen in the locker room often enough to recognize them on sight. Most of them didn’t bother with small talk or getting to know one another — it made things a lot easier if you weren’t friendly with the people who you might be asked to brutally beat at any given moment — but Felix recognized them all pretty well. Even newer fighters were typically paraded around by someone proud of having trapped someone new, even if the fighter in question was still unaware of how binding their contract was. 

So it was a little weird that Felix didn’t recognize the woman standing in the locker room tonight. 

She wore thick-rimmed glasses, though Felix wasn’t sure if there was actually a lens in them. She held a notebook and was dressed in a smart suit. She looked like a cartoon of a stereotypical journalist, and it put them on edge just a little. Strangers in the locker room were never great, but strangers who looked like they might start asking questions were worse. Ducking their head, Felix did their best to slide by the stranger without attracting any attention.

Victoria was not a stranger to violence.  In her over three centuries on the Earth, she had seen more than her fair share of it, even before she was undead.  Her own death and turning (and subsequent years after as a baby vampire) were full of particularly violent memories as well, despite how much she wished to forget them.  But violence, and all that came with it, were never something she enjoyed.  She couldn’t understand why people would come to a place like the Grit Pit, where fighters were paid to be screamed at and beat the shit out of one another.  It seemed extremely barbaric and inhumane.  Over time, she had convinced herself that there had to be something more going on there.  Somehow, she now believed that it must have been a front for something even more nefarious than just overt violence- was this part of a larger trick to destroy vampires?  One that she had missed back when she was on the wrong side of morality when it came to the beasts?

She wasn’t sure.  If she were more of an objective person, she might have been able to step back and see that this sort of conclusion was not a logical one to jump to.  But her determination to be a better person had been having its way of superseding logic altogether lately, which is how she had ended up at the Grit Pit with a fake journalist pass and a mission to out them for their ways altogether.

“Hey you!”, she called to the person seemingly avoiding her eye contact.  She had watched them hesitate in their fight multiple times mere moments before- maybe they were just the person she needed to get to the bottom of whatever was going on here. She tried her best to hide any hint of Sweden in her accent, which still seemed to peak through despite speaking English for hundreds of years. Her attempt at a ‘journalist’ accent was somewhere between Brooklyn and Australian. “I’m workin’ on a beat for Wicked’s Rest Times.”  Did the town even have a working newspaper?  “About thriving local businesses.  Why don’t you sit down and tell me about how you came to work for this fine establishment?”

They’d never been particularly lucky. Their entire life seemed to be a reflection of that very simple fact, shining through so brightly that it was blinding. From their mother’s death to their father’s overwhelming grief to Leo’s manipulation to the Grit Pit, Felix’s life seemed to be a snowball of bad luck rolling down a hill, growing larger and larger with each inch of ground it gained. So of course they couldn’t avoid the attention of the stranger in the locker room. Of course she’d call out to them specifically in an accent that was… strange and hard to pin down. They shouldn’t have been surprised about it in the slightest.

They tried to pretend not to hear her, tried to hurry the process of shoving their things into their duffel, but the luck that had never been on their side before didn’t seem keen on running to meet them now. They dropped a sock on the ground, leaned down to pick it up only to knock their duffel over and spill the contents on the floor of the locker room, effectively trapping them for the amount of time it would take to clean it all up. That gave the woman — the journalist, because of course she was a journalist — plenty of time to approach them. Felix tried to suppress a groan.

What was she asking about? Thriving local businesses? Was that what the Grit Pit was? The reminder of their contract’s nondisclosure clause churned in their gut, and they shook their head quickly. “Um, no, sorry, I don’t — I mean, I don’t have a lot of time. I have, uh, somewhere else to be right after this, and I’m not very good at talking to people anyway, so you probably don’t want to interview me. Um, there’s a guy over that way who might be able to answer your questions, I bet.” They gestured vaguely to where Wyatt had disappeared, feeling a little guilty for throwing him under the bus but knowing he’d be better at getting rid of the journalist, anyway.

—

This person must have been nervous.  Clothes were tumbling from their bag before they even had a chance to muster a response, and Vic glanced down at them before she stepped closer to her interviewee.  There was a small part of her that felt bad that they were nervous, but a bigger part that reveled in it.  Nerves put people on edge, and Vic knew from experience that people on edge were more prone to spilling their guts.  In the least literal way, of course. Even if the information they gave her was miniscule, Vic was hopeful whatever she got out of them would leave her closer to rescuing vampires from whatever was going on at the Grit Pit.  Ignoring their protests and their gesture to someone unknown behind her, she held out her hand for them to shake. 

“The name’s Missy Spitz.”  Believe it or not, Vic had come up with that alias hours before.  No one would trace anything back to her if this person came up with any good juice.  “You know, an employer isn’t allowed to keep you from talking to the press, nor are they able to retaliate for information released.”  She wondered if her lies would cost this person their job.  Perhaps they’d find something upstanding and nonviolent instead.  Maybe this would work out well for everyone.  

“This won’t take too long.  I just need to know a bit more about your employer and I’ll be on my merry way.”  As if to show how unthreatening she was, Vic leaned down, picking up one of the fallen shirts and helping to fold it.  It was stinky and sweaty, and although she folded it neatly, she pinched two fingers together to hand it over.  “Now, how long have you been working for the Grit Pit?”

—

Her hand was directly in front of him, and Felix was a little too polite not to reach out and shake it, even if they had no real desire to continue the conversation. They glanced back towards where Wyatt had disappeared to, but he’d already exited the locker room and seemed to have no plans of returning. Felix did another quick sweep, hoping to find some familiar face to rescue them, but it was no use. It wasn’t a full moon, which meant Samir wasn’t around, and most of the other fighters didn’t talk to him. Even if they did, it seemed everyone else had already dispersed. No one seemed keen on hanging around the locker room too long when the night was over, especially not when some stranger was there asking questions. Felix was on their own here.

“That’s not your name,” they blurted, then immediately regretted the outburst. “Sorry. I mean, maybe — maybe that is your name. But it doesn’t really sound like a real name. I don’t know anyone named Missy Splitz. I don’t even think Splitz is a name. Missy is a name, maybe, but it’s more of a nickname. Isn’t it? Is, um, is your name something else, and people just call you Missy? Or did you choose the name Missy? It’s not a bad name. I think it’s fine. I just don’t think — I’m not — Um.” 

Maybe this would work in their favor. If Felix couldn’t convince the reporter to leave by asking, maybe they could make conversation so incredibly awkward that she’d choose to go away just to get out of it. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing that would happen quickly, however. She began making claims that an employer couldn’t make you not talk to the press, and Felix let out an awkward, uncomfortable laugh. An employer, he wanted to say, could make you do a lot of things when that employer was something like the Grit Pit. But just thinking the words made their tongue burn, either because of the contract or because of some mental block their mind had created to protect them from it. 

Still stuffing their clothes into their bag, Felix avoided eye contact. “I really, um, I’m sorry, but I don’t — I don’t really have a lot of time to talk. I have to go home to feed my cat. She has to eat at the same time every night, or else she gets mad. And I don’t — I don’t want her to be mad at me, so I’ve gotta… I really can’t stay. Sorry, uh, Miss Splitz. Missy Splitz. Are you sure that’s your name?”

—

Vic put her hand on her chest, feigning shock and offense at the person’s declaration.  “Excuse me?”, she said, accusatory and flushed.  “It’s Missy Spitz.  Not Missy Splitz.  And I sincerely hope you didn’t just insult my reputable mother and my extremely loving and attentive father, who are both alive and well, by insulting the name they gave me when they laid their eyes upon my small, newborn face.”  She worried, for a moment, that she was taking this character too seriously, but that moment was brief.  “Missy. Spitz.”, she said, interrupting them with finality.  “No nicknames, no jokes, just a given name.  It’s generational, actually. Passed down… from my mother’s side.  I’m the 17th Missy Spitz in my family.”

She didn’t need their eye contact to win them over, all she needed was for them to give her the information before someone more important caught her back here.  She adjusted her fake press pass she had made, hoping he realized she meant business.  “Your cat can wait.  It’s important for children and animals to experience age-appropriate uncomfortable emotions, so that they’re better equipped to process them.  It helps with a trusted adult guiding the way, of course, but your cat can wait.  The skinny on the hooey?  It needs to be spilled now.”  Years ago, she read a book about a journalist who used that term.  Thank goodness for her extensive research.  

Again, this person was insulting Vic’s pretend name.  She was starting to get for-real offended, instead of just in-character.  “You cannot seriously be throwing around such raucous accusations when you yourself have yet to even tell me your name.  How am I meant to write a proper report without your name?  Go on, fighting-person.  Tell me your name, so I can mock you as well.”

—

“Oh! I, um, sorry! I thought — I thought you said Splitz.” Felix turned bright red, hands trembling a little as they continued stuffing things into their duffel with a desperate speed. This, of course, caused its own issues; the trembling made it hard to get things into the bag properly, and more items were dropped and picked up and dropped again. “I’m not — I wasn’t, uh, insulting anyone. Especially not your parents! I was just, um, you know, it’s not — I haven’t heard that name before. I just — I was curious if you chose it yourself or not. I know, you know, a few people who have chosen their own names, and I think it’s cool. I don’t think I’d be able to choose my own name. I’d get overwhelmed, because there’s so many names out there. Like, where do you start? Right? But it’s cool, uh, that your parents named you Missy when — when you were a baby. And it’s cool that it’s a family name! Do you, um, did your dad… take your mom’s last name, then? If it’s from your mom’s side? I think that’s cool, too. I think it’s weird how people expect a woman to take her husband’s last name, but not the other way around. Right?” 

They were hoping the cat excuse would get them out of this, but Felix had never been particularly lucky. The journalist — Missy Spitz, not Missy Splitz — was adamant, and Felix was bad at saying no even when they couldn’t say yes. Their eyes darted to the door of the locker room, though they weren’t sure if they were hoping for another fighter to come in and take Missy’s attention or a higher up from the Pit to come yell at her to go. Both options seemed cruel in one way or another. Missy earning a spot on the Grit Pit’s radar was a bad thing, and wishing for another fighter to be put in an uncomfortable position like the one Felix was in now seemed mean spirited. But Felix wasn’t equipped to handle this, and they knew it. “I don’t — I don’t have any… skinny on the hooey. Honest. I just, um, I’m just trying to go home.”

Wincing as she claimed they were insulting her again — they really hadn’t meant to! — Felix kept their gaze trained on the duffel that they’d more or less given up on packing. Their hands were shaking so much now that the bag’s zipper was banging absently against the bench every so often, the hollow thunk seeming to echo through the empty locker room. “I don’t — I don’t really think you should write a report. There’s a lot of cooler things to report on! Have you seen the leg? You should write a report on the leg!”

—

It was almost comical how the clothing kept falling in the bag as the Wildcat was trying to load it up.  If Vic really worked for the newspaper, she might have drawn a silly comic of the sight  Missy Spitz was a professional, though, so she had to find a way to stifle her amusement.  “I’ve never heard anyone call their child ‘Wildcat’ either, but you don’t see me questioning you, now do you?”  She kind of liked this strange, anxious groveling the fighter was doing, and she smirked with a weird sense of power as they continued to fawn.  Yes, she was important.  Yes, this person should be worried about how they made her feel.  Is this how CEOs felt?  Maybe once Rosie was grown up, Vic would try her hand at being a CEO.  She would only hire grovelers of course, and people who didn’t like pineapple on pizza.

Wildcat’s question threw her off, and actually made her drop her smug, satisfied look.  She hadn’t thought of that little detail when she made up the lie about 7 generations.  “Oh, of course!  My very loving, feminist father didn’t dare dream of asking his wife to take his name.  He even made our beds every morning.  I had a lovely childhood.”  Vic was starting to feel sort of jealous of Missy Spitz and this fantastical life she led.  “It’s unequivocally weird.  Society is not as forward thinking as it assumes it is.”

“The leg is not a thriving small business.  What good would that do my reputable article?”, Vic accused, now feeling annoyed.  Wildcat wasn’t giving answers, and their eyes were shifting anywhere but Vic’s, seemingly looking for an out, so she knew it was time to pull out the big guns.  Like the paparazzi did in hollywood.  No more asking if she could ask questions, she just needed to ask them loudly until she got an answer.  “Do you have any comments on the rumor that the Grit Prit is just a front for more nefarious ongoings, including the planned harm and destruction of specific groups of people that occupy this town?”, she asked, holding an invisible microphone near his face. It felt more official, somehow.

—

“Well, that’s a nickname! It’s not on my driver’s license. Which — Which is a valid driver’s license, by the way. It doesn’t expire for another year.” They weren’t sure why that felt important to add. In all honesty, Felix was floundering. They felt like they were in trouble, and they didn’t want to be. “Um, is Missy a nickname? Is it short for — Missandra?” They wanted the conversation to stay away from the reason she’d come here, even if that was probably impossible. Felix wasn’t enough of a wordsmith to properly distract someone from their intended conversation. Felix was barely enough of a wordsmith to carry on any conversation at all. 

At least Missy Spitz, like most people, didn’t mind talking about herself. That was a nice way to distract people, sometimes. Felix liked to think it made them happy, too. People liked sharing little facts about themselves, like the fact that their families had nice fathers who took their mothers’ surnames and made the bed without asking. Felix tried to swallow the envious feeling at the idea of Missy Spitz’s father, who had probably never sent them into the woods with a shovel and a corpse and refused to let them back in the house until the grave was filled in entirely. “That’s cool. Your dad sounds really cool. What, uh, what’s his name?” 

The conversation was spiraling, getting away from Felix in a way they didn’t know how to control. The leg wasn’t what Missy Spitz wanted to talk about. Missy Spitz’s forward-thinking, feminist family wasn’t what Missy Spitz wanted to talk about. Felix’s inability to get their sock to stay in their duffel wasn’t what Missy Spitz wanted to talk about. Missy Spitz wanted to talk about the Grit Pit, and Felix didn’t. Their heart picked up its pace as she asked a particularly hard-hitting question, their stomach churning. They felt sick, felt uneasy, and they didn’t know how much of that was the contract and how much of that was them. These days, that was something that happened a little too often. “I think I left my stove on! I really need to go turn off my stove. I’m sorry I thought your name was Missy Splitz!”

—

Oh.  That made way more sense.  Of course they would use nicknames in a seedy place like this.  Vic should have known.  This just pointed to more nefarious activities at the Grit Pit.  She wrote the word ‘fraud’ with a sad face in her little notebook, the first note she had jotted down since she’d arrived.  “So what’s your real name, then?  Does it worry you to utter your real name in earshot of your controlling boss, or is that anxiety I’m picking up on about something else?”  She paused, though not because she realized the irony that she was faking her own name, just like the wildcat, but to come up with a believable answer to his question.  “It’s short for Misandry, actually”, she deadpanned.  She wanted to smirk so bad, because that was funny, but instead, she just stared at them.

The mention of her father took all the joy out of her mind.  Although, she supposed Wildcat wasn’t asking about her father, they were asking about Missy’s.  Misdandry’s.  “His name?  His name is Franklin Delano Spitz.  Although most people lovingly refer to him as D-man.  He’s very jolly too, you see?  I’m sure he’d disapprove of whatever is going on here too, but I wouldn’t want to worry a sweet, old man with the likes of this.”

Journalists lied all the time, right?  Vic wondered how far of a lie she could tell without the whole situation becoming a bit ethically gray.  Was it wrong to let this person think that wonderful fathers like Franklin Delano Spitz existed in this cruel world?  Wildcat seemed to be going through a sort of moral crisis on their own, too, and Vic was beginning to wonder if she was pushing this too far.  Sure, she hadn’t gotten too much information about the Grit Pit yet, but the confirmation that something else was going on was the definite first step she needed to pursue this further.  “Well that was irresponsible of you.  Don’t you have a neighbor you can call to check it before you get there?”  Even with her harsh words, Vic finally allowed some distance between herself and the fighter, closing her one note notebook in the process.  “Listen.  I’d hate for you to start a fire just because you stuck around for an interview.  I think I have all I need.  Unless… there’s anything else you think might be valuable?”

—

They debated whether or not it was wise to give a journalist their real name, conflict rising in a way they hated. It wasn’t fair not to, was it? Missy Spitz had given Felix her real name, complete with its origin and a brief family history. Wouldn’t it be cruel to deny her the bare minimum in response. “Um, I’m — My name is Felix,” Felix said, stomach churning with doubt the moment the name was out. Did she have a point? Should they be worried about saying their name to a reporter where their bosses might hear? Felix had heard rumors that fae could take someone’s name — what if that was the punishment for this? Their eyes darted towards the door that led to the offices, their palms sweaty. They needed to get out of her before they really messed up. “Oh, Misandry is a beautiful name,” they muttered, afraid to comment anything else.

“D-Man. That’s cool. I like it when people have nicknames.” They felt another wave of guilt at the idea that they were doing something to upset Missy’s father, though they didn’t know the man at all. Disappointing fathers was something Felix had some experience in, but they didn’t think it was the sort of thing made easier by experience. “Oh, I don’t think he should be worried. Everything’s fine!” It wasn’t. Nothing was fine. Felix felt like they might be sick.

They shook their head quickly, deciding to cling to their flimsy excuse of a stove being left on. “No, I — I don’t have any neighbors. I, um, I’m a — a hermit. I live, uh, out in the woods.” Well, not anymore, though they wouldn’t say that to Missy. They needed to remove themself from this conversation before it became too late to do so. “I’m — I’m pretty irresponsible. I’m working on it, I’m trying to be better.” That wasn’t a lie. Felix knew they needed to improve on… more than one aspect of their life. But they wanted to be better. They really did. “No,” they muttered, looking down at their bag again. “I’m — I don’t have anything valuable. I’m sorry.”

—

“Felix”, said Vic, nodding in absolution.  Felix the Wildcat.  It was as solid of a name as any. She pretended to write it down in her notebook, although their name was never what she was after, just the information they could have provided.  She hoped they wouldn’t be too disappointed when they never ended up featured in a newspaper article.  Maybe she could write a fake one and send it to them, just in case.  “Thank you”, she said.  “My ancestors 17 generations ago thought the same thing.”  She wondered what kind of life Rosie might have if she went around with a first name like Misandry.  Either really horrible, or absolutely fantastic, probably.

“Oh, so does he.  He loves anything fun, and indulged in my hobbies as a child.”  Maybe she should write a children’s book about this fictional Misandry and her wonderful parents.  Her life seemed fascinating.  Poor Felix still looked like they were going to pass out, though, so she decided to stop fantasizing and pay more attention to the task at hand.  She knew all the first aid she needed to for a 3-year-old, but she wasn’t sure she’d be able to revive an adult.  Maybe all that fighting was getting to their head after all.

“Go”, she said, shooing them away with one hand and using the other to put her notebook in her pocket. “Before you make your hermit village into a forest fire and cause another travesty in this wild town.”  She reached down to grab a last discarded shirt, placing it in their hand before they had a chance to leave.  “And Felix?  Don’t you worry.  With a little hard work, we can all overcome irresponsibility and solitude.”  Vic was proof of that, if only Felix knew the real her.  “Don’t worry.  Your secrets are safe with me.”  With that, she tipped her makeshift journalist hat, smirking as she watched Felix scurry away.  Maybe she didn’t get a ton of information about the Grit Pit like’d wanted, but she knew Missy Spitz work as a journalist was far, far from over.

[ienianstories]

Toxic Yuri - March 28th

You storm up the stairs, annoyance rising in sync with each skipped step. Fifteenth floor, apartment three. 15/03. Third building from the corner of Fifteenth Street and Daffodil lane. Infuriatingly specific, as always. You slam the stairway door open, fury carrying your feet faster and faster down the carpeted hallway to apartment three despite the protestations of your lungs. As you round the last corner you can already see the door hanging slightly ajar. Typical. You burst in, sweeping whatever of your gaze that isn’t seeing red across the open concept floor plan.

There she is. Sat straddling the window sill, only one leg and one arm still inside, like she’s been waiting for you. Her red hair flows in the wind whipping by, a few strands crossing her face that’s contorted into a malicious, mischievous smirk. Over one shoulder you can see a large, black fabric sack. A cliche, honestly. That’s part of what’s so infuriating about her. It’s all an act to piss you off. You take a step towards her, and she lets herself slip a little further out the window. It’s all an act, but you still freeze in a panic, watching her pantomime almost falling to her death. She giggles at you, making mocking scared faces and shaking her head.

You stamp your foot in a small slip of a tantrum. “You know there’s no reason for any of this, right? Everything you have in that bag you can get for free! At literally any mall in Ienia!”

She leans back into nothingness, laughing easily even as your stomach drops. “Ah, but things are always just a little bit better when someone doesn’t want you to have it.”

“So, you’re just here to cause misery? You followed me to another country just to.. to take things away from people? To get off on others suffering?”

Her sparkling green eyes turn to you, laser focused in a way that makes your organs squirm. “No. You haven’t been paying attention, have you? I put in all this effort and you still don’t hear me.”

You throw your arms around in frustration. “Then what? What have I missed? I know you’ve been using important dates to plan these stupid little burglaries. Presents you gave me. Your clever little code isn’t so clever, you know.”

“Then why haven’t you beaten me to a single one of these?”

You stand there, mouth agape. You close it, open it to speak, close it again, then walk in a baffled little circle. “What?” That’s not the best you can do. You reformulate. “Just because I know the pattern doesn’t mean I can read your infuriating mind! How could I?”

She laughs again, leaning far back out into the empty air outside the window. This time the laugh is a little sad, her eyes soft. “I give you plenty of time. Maybe I’m the only one actually committed to this relationship.”

“YES! That’s why we BROKE UP!” The fury flows out of your heart. “I wanted a fresh start! I wanted out of our shitty hometown, I wanted out of our life, I wanted to be someone different! That’s pretty much the definition of not being committed to a relationship!”

“This is new, isn’t it?”

You stop, stunned again. “New?” You reprocess. “NEW? Yeah, yeah I guess spending my free time chasing down my ex to try and prevent her from committing pointless petty burglary is a new life. I guess having to be the one who can follow your pattern is a new life.”

She sighs and shakes her head. “You really don’t appreciate everything I do for you. Maybe this isn’t going to work out.” She swing back further, only a hand and a calf holding her to solid ground.

You lurch forward in a panic, desperate to not see your ex splatter on the ground fifteen stories down. “No, no. Please. Don’t do that. Just tell me what you want, okay? What am I missing?”

She laughs again, sad again. “You should have been asking that months ago. Now the questions have changed. Sorry, Sheila, you’re too late to fix that.” Then she slides out the window.

You scream and lunge across the room, hopping a couch and sticking your head out the window. You don’t see anything. The adrenaline and cortisol flooding your brain stop dead in their tracks when you see her standing on the wall outside the window. She’s grimacing, bracing herself against the force spell streaming out of one arm that’s holding her against the wall.

Despite the effort she’s throwing into the spell, she still speaks evenly. “Aww, so you do still care, maybe there’s hope for us yet.”

Your long black hair is blown over your eyes, obscuring your vision for just a second. When you pull it back, she’s gone. You collapse against the window sill she just occupied for a moment, then scream. You’re going to be ruminating on this one.

[lhrry]

can you please make a compilation of harry’s house / faith in the future parallels?

so I decided to  make this broader and rather suggest different possible readings, so while some are very overt and some are more conceptual or subjective and produced by my own reading of each album. the best thing about some of these, though, is that they are not the same or parallel per se, but more like two sides of the same story/responding to one another!

no title song but rather an overarching concept as the title of the album

the way both albums keep returning to the idea of change, dancing between resisting and accepting it, sometimes borderline celebrating it

Things haven't been quite the same, there's a haze on the horizon, babe... [...] I've never been a fan of change, but I'd follow you to any place // tell you I'm on my way, nothing could make me late, said I had a plan for us, time it came and changed it all

In this world, it's just us, you know it's not the same as it was // and the element of change + continuing to go on together in you and me until the end waking up to start again

In this world, it's just us, you know it's not the same as it was // you and me until the end waking up to start again

nobody stays the same, no matter how much you want it, some things change

I remember back at Jonny's place, it's not the same anymore // eg a trip down memory lane, houses all look the same, there’s different names on the gates, you know the people have changed, oh it’s such a shame, nothing stays the same

Louis’ different version of you know it’s not the same as it was, such as nobody stays the same, no matter how much you want it, some things change; we knew that all would change; before the world it got so serious, before the time it got away from us...

Also the resistance to change for Louis in eg When somebody told me I would change, I used to hide behind a smile, is felt in as it was or even more explicitly in late night talking

Louis also has these nothing actually changed/resistance to change moments (common people, nothing’s changed/, we’re still the same inside)

talking/not talking 

So when you find out what we're fighting for, I'll be ready to talk // am I bothering you, do you wanna talk?

Do you wanna talk? We share the last line, then we drink the wall, 'Til we wanna talk // there were problems in this empty bottle, at the bottom, but we drained all that

we’ve been doing all this late night talking, ‘bout anything you want until the morning // the jokes and songs in silver tongues (nights like these we’ll remember..)

I don't wanna talk about the way that it was // we can talk about it, it’ll only make it worse, there’s a time for sayin’ who did what where it went wrong I wanna hear all that but tight now etc. (also I won’t say a word, it can wait til the morning)

I’m in an LA mood, I don’t wanna talk to you vs I can still hear your silence

I’m here, right here, wishing I could be there for you // the sentiment in angels fly, especially the “I’m on my way”

Harry, you’re no good alone // alone we’re just as good as the rest

Answer the phone, “harry you’re no good alone, why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?” ringin’ the bell and nobody’s coming to help // I’m on my way with some time to borrow […] I’ll knock on your door it’ll save me from callin’

The reminder to look up to the sky in angels fly vs holding me back, gravity’s holding me back

The sentiment of finding community and chosen family in Matilda and All This Time 

I said you know me, alone we're only, just as good as the rest, together we're the greatest, […] it's you and me until the end, life for us is never over and the different ways in which Louis says I love you and it’s us until the end // harry’s there’s just no getting through, without you, just me and you, love of my life, etc.

I don't want you to get lost // cos I'm a hard man to lose, but I figured it out 

Stay green a little while, You bring blue lights to dreams // blue like the lights surrounding me, it all seems so different when I'm around it, see all these waves and waves of green, keep on coming like a dream, until nothing is the same 

nothing is original, there's nothing left to say // nothing to say when everything gets in the way 

not harry's house but also if you read the greatest as for and about the fans at the shows, there are parallels with lights up (talked about here) and also worth mentioning louis’ no falling all to pieces // harry’s falling

elements of boyfriends and written all over your face, as you're giving me the silent treatment, don't know what it's achieving // it gets hard to know what he's thinking, you love a fool who knows just how to get under your skin

I'll do everythin' I can, To help you through, If you're feelin' down, I just wanna make you happier, baby, Wish I was around, I just wanna make you happier, baby, we've been doing all this late night talking // you know when I'm with you I'm so much happier, nights like these we'll remember the songs we wrote etc.

the entirety of keep driving and silver tongues conceptually

I think these songs most obviously mirror and respond to each other, both being very “just you and me” songs

with keep driving being a collection of things and probably inside jokes only harry and the person he wrote the song for understand and silver tongues having own version in “and I choked when your smoke got in my eye, bad logic and empty cans, I know nobody understands me like you do” where he illustrates the faulty logic of choking because of smoke in his eye, + the repetitions of nobody understands me like you do

You smile at me and say, “It’s time to go”, but I don't feel like going home as an answer to I would ask, "Should we just keep driving?"

we shout some things that we'll regret, sit down with a masterplan I know nobody understands me like you do again sounds like the entirety of keep driving basically

maple syrup, coffee pancakes for two, hash brown, egg yolk, I will always love you // you me until the end, wakin’ up to start again (there’s even breakfast and waking up, hello?)

we’ll remember those stupid jokes only we know, you know, when I’m with you I’m so much happier, nights like these, we’ll remember those songs we wrote only we know and the entirety of keep driving

there's nowhere else that I would rather be // You're always there, so don't overthink

and I'm the one who will stay, oh // you know the party’s over, when you’re standing in an empty space alone 

babe // babe 

you got the cinema // if you believe a guy’s Superman, there selling tickets at the cinema

cause loving you’s the real thing, it just feels right // can we please get back to loving when it’s good it’s really something

whatever gets you through the darkest night, just find the light out in the madness, hold tight // you showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest day

with me, I know you wanna come with me, take anything you can carry and leave everything else behind // take you with me everytime I go away; I’ve never been a fan of change but I’d follow you to any place, if it’s Hollywood or Bishopsgate I’m coming too

put the pain behind you now, you don't need it anymore // you can let it go and the sentiment of matilda