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meher-sumedha · 3 years ago

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Gwynriel Headcanon : Does it even matter?

Over the last few months, Azriel and Gwyn had grown close to each other. So close, that now they were literally roommates. Gwyn had been living with Azriel in his room since 2 months now, and they enjoyed each other's company.

Even the Valkyries had grown. There were three legions of 100 valkyries each.

This was mainly due to the reason, that even before these months, Gwyn had been sleeping with Azriel. Because they had made this a routine, that whenever she had a nightmare, she would knock on his door. Neither would say anything.

Gwyn would just come in, lie on his bed along with him, and hold his hand. No one spoke anything as during these moments, silence was Gwyn's best friend.

But the cause wasn't just her nightmares. Some weeks later she simply came in Azriel's room for a sleepover, or just because she couldn't sleep. This was like 3 nights in a week. One day, Gwyn had forgotten her night suit in her room in the library :

"ughhh" Gwyn groaned while lying on Azriel's bed and Azriel chuckled. He put down his book and moved from his couch to sit on the edge of her-their bed.

Azriel smiled and asked, "What happened now Berdara? Don't like the book?" Gwyn had really weird positions while reading, sometimes with her legs on the floor at the back of the bed, sometimes reading while lying down, sometimes reading with her head dangling from the edge of the bed and her feet on the bed. "Well no, the book is actually very good. It's just that-I forgot my night suit"

And as soon as she said this, Azriel chuckled, a sound that had become quite common, "Well that's the third time this week Berdara, you really need to jog up that memory" He said and Gwyn got up, her hair a mess. And instinctively Azriel started playing with her hair, something that was a muscle memory, other times just to annoy her.

He started playing with her hair even more, now just to annoy her and Gwyn huffed and put down his hands with her own. He didn't fail to notice that her hand was on his, but at this moment, he didn't care.

Gwyn rolled her eyes and got off the bed. She was just gonna leave when an idea hit Azriel, "Why don't you move in with me?" And Gwyn froze in her tracks. She then turned around, and looked at him with an eyebrow raised, asking to explain further.

"Well you already stay here most nights of the week, why not move in?", "Cause then we'd be seeing each other all the damn time and we'd get bored of each other" Azriel then got up dramatically, bowed, took her hand in his and said.

"Gwyneth Berdara, I, Azriel, the spymaster of the night court, assure you, that I will never get bored of you, and that, is a promise," "And what if you do get bored shadowsinger?" "Then I assure you, you can do whatever you please with me" Azriel said, as a joke.

But apparantly Gwyn had gotten clever in the last few months, so she proudly shook his hand, and said, "Alright shadowsinger, it's a bargain". And Gwyn could've sworn she saw Azriel smile after he muttered "fuck" under his breath.

And that was that, now they were roommates, according to Gwyn. But for Azriel, they had grown to be much much more. He knew, he knew what his shadows told him everyday, and he knew, he knew what was happening. He was slowly falling in love with her, and there was not a damn thing in the world, that could stop him from falling in love with her.

And that was what worried him, that he was gonna fall in love with her, maybe he had already fallen, but he was scared that he won't do anything about it, and just keep pining after her for another 500 years.

Anyways that didn't matter at the moment. Right now, he had just been healed after he had returned from the human lands, apparantly one of the queens' gaurds had cornered him. Now he would have been alright, but there were a thousand of them. But that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that he desperately needed to see Gwyn.

He walked in their room all cheery, only to see Gwyn staring at the ceiling with an ashen face, and a tear in her eye.

As soon as he entered the room, Gwyn rushed to him and hugged him tightly. She wrapped her fingers around his neck and hid her face in his neck. Azriel didn't know what to do, for a few moments he just stood there. But then when Gwyn was about to pull away, he hugged her back.

He smiled into her hair, taking in the scent. He then tried to memorize how this feeling felt, how her soft necks around his neck felt and how her soft tears on his shoulder felt. He then pulled away and looked at her with a big grin. He asked smugly, trying to change the topic, "Miss me?"

Gwyn squatted him on the arm, but then chuckled through her tears and nodded. They just stood there looking at each other for a while, smiling like little kids. Just happy to see each other.

That is until Gwyn realized she needed to talk to him. "We need to talk" She said and looked away from his intense gaze. "Is something wrong?" Azriel then asked, worry clear in his eyes.

"You tell me" Said Gwyn and Azriel got confused. But then Gwyn shook her head and smiled a sad smile, "it's fine. It's just that I-" Gwyn stopped and took a long breath and Azriel looked at her, asking her to continue with his eyes. Gwyn took another long breath and said, "I-I'm moving out".

Azriel didn't know what to say. He was hurt but he couldn't let that show on his face. Was it me? Was it something I did? It is always something I did.

Azriel cleared his throat and tried to fight back the tears forming in his eyes and asked, "May-may I ask why?" And this time, Gwyn actually chuckled.

"Yes, you may. Rhysand asked me to lead the Valkyrie legions in the spring court! " She said cheerfully and yet, Azriel's expression didn't change.

Azriel couldn't believe it. It was something he hoped that would never happen. He knew how dangerous the things at the spring court were, and how dangerous they could get. If Koschei decided to attack Prythian, he would move from the south. Moving his way up North. But the first court that would get destroyed, was the spring court.

"No" Azriel said and started shaking his head. He could feel a panic attack coming on but he shook that feeling. Not right now, not in front of Gwyn, not right now.

"What" Gwyn asked, confused. "You can't go to the spring court" "Why not?" "It's dangerous, " "I know that Az but Rhysand needs someone to lead the valkyrie troops there", "NO" Azriel shouted trying to calm his racing heart, and his mind thinking all the ways it could harm Gwyn.

Gwyn backed away, clearly hurt. "Az someone needs to lead the legions there. My training is complete, I need to do this".

And this time, Azriel couldn't control himself and shouted on Gwyn, "NO GWYN! YOU DO NOT NEED THIS! DO YOU EVEN KNOW THAT THE SPRING COURT IS THE FIRST COURT THAT KOSCHEI WILL ATTACK. THE SPRING COURT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE IT'S OWN ARMY!"

"WELL THAT'S WHY THEY NEED THE VALKYRIES THERE AZ!" Gwyn shouted back, tired of his shit, not understanding why he couldn't simply be happy for her.

After a few minutes of complete silence, Gwyn said, her voice almost breaking "Az, why can't you just be happy for me, " Azriel calmed himself down, and looked at her. After he didn't speak anything, Gwyn continued, "Do you not think I'll be able to do it?" And her voice broke this time, which broke Azriel's heart into a million more pieces.

"It-it's not that Gwyn. Of course I think you're capable. It's- just that, you could be hurt Gwyn, and I-I don't really don't want you to get hurt Gwyn cause I care about you, more than anything. I don't want you to get hurt Gwyn. So, I am so sorry for making you choose but it's either me, or you leading the legion at the spring court"

And at that moment, an unrecongnizable expression shone in his eyes. One which Gwyn could not place. Gwyn shook her head , "No that's not fair az. You can't-you can't manipulate me like that",

"I am not trying to manipulate you Gwyn. Why-how could you even think that", "Cause I've seen you get hurt Az, and it breaks my heart everytime I see you in those bandages, yet I never say anything I never try to manipulate you like that. It hurts Az, It hurts that you would do such a thing-"

"You need to choose Gwyn, either me, or the legion". "Why are you making me choose?" Gwyn asked, her face stained with tears and when Azriel didn't say anything, didn't take back what he said, she was hurt more than ever. "Well then, it really doesn't matter now does it? Cause I choose my legion" And Gwyn walked out of their room.

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cinearia · 4 years ago

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The "Morally Grey" in ACOTAR

I decided to write something I have been thinking about since I saw some people saying this when pointing out the wrong attitude of some characters in ACOTAR (aka Rhysand and company), but I think this can apply in general. In another specific story, but I will focus on ACOTAR.

And please, if you disagree, that's fine. This is an opinion of mine that I decided to write and post, because I find it an interesting subject that does not necessarily apply only in ACOTAR, but that is in the saga and I have seen people commenting on it. I don't want to fight with anyone, okay? I put in the tags that fit in.

So...

I love morally gray characters, but just to make it clear right now, I don't think that EVERY story has to have ambiguous characters. It's okay if the story is to follow a line more heroes versus villains line. But one of the things I saw here on tumblr and twitter about the attitudes of IC, Rhysand and Feyre was using that same argument, that they are not perfect, that they have their flaws. I definitely agree with that.

But history itself does not recognize this (and some fans too). Because nobody seems to call their shit out.

Starting from a general view that can include all of the IC. Like, how not to worry about your image while protecting your city? Okay, i get it, we had to be the tHe BaD gUyS, but y'all will suffering the consequences for this, especially if its to protect your own city. Some other people are protecting their citys too. Doesn't mean that you are wrong, but everything has consequences.

Or, how they constantly abuse their power; how Rhysand threatening and using his powers even at a political meeting sound good? How Feyre ended up hurting someone during that same meeting, even if unintentionally, was just fine? No one will call their shit about using their powers? Do you really seek to make allies and friends in the middle of a war by showing abuse of power and threatening others (and not just feysand doing this)? Or saying that they should step over the others so that there is only one king and queen in Prythian (that was right for you, Amren).

And that is partly the fault of writing. Now, more specific:

They lie and steals a valuable artifact from a possible ally and political leader of an entire court? Ah, but it is for a greater good. It will not jeopardize the confidence of a HIGH LORD OF A COURT who was supposed to be his ally in the midst of a war.

Did Feyre decimate an court? Ah, but the leader was abusive to her, she felt trapped in the place that was rebuilding because of a curse of hundreds of years, even though there are innocent people. And, of course, you will have the consequences for this.

(this one more personal and less political) Elain, perhaps the least worst of all, neglected Feyre as much as Nesta did, and also do nothing when she went hunting? Ah, but Elain is Elain.

Did Rhysand hide information from Feyre's pregnancy that she and the baby could die in childbirth? Ah, but he didn't want to worry her, he was scared to lose her and her son. And the whole IC agreed not to tell her anything? Ah, they also care about her, the High Lady.

(And this is the worst and yes, I’ve seen someone say that) Rhysand did it all with Feyre UTM, drugged her, put her in a dress that didn’t cover anything, made her dance all night on his lap? But because he wanted to protect her, we need to hear both sides of the story.

And that's fine because they are the good guys in the story. But it is nothing more than pure hypocrisy, and no consequence falls on them. If it happens, it will be unfair, is just to move the plot.

Do you want us to believe in the heroes of history, do you want us to side with them? Great, we can do that. We could have liked Feyre and Rhysand and the whole IC more, as a group that doesn't always do the right things, except that would have to change literally EVERYTHING (a little bit of charisma would be good).

Instead, for me, it became an egocentric boring FoUnD FaMiLy group that only cares about their own city - and it's not necessarily wrong to be concerned only with Velaris, it's part of their history. But forcing an image on them that doesn't match their actions makes me believe the opposite, especially cause started in ACOSF, again from AMREN, about a King and Queen in Prythian.

So, I came to believe that it was a POV issue. For IC, they are the heroes of history, and think they are better than the rest.

It would be curious, in fact, if the whole point was that Feyre's POV would incapacitate us from seeing the flaws that she doesn't see. And totally proposital. That is why we have to see her as a saint, but at the same time so badass. Wow, no one, i repeat, NO ONE, suspect of me while i pretend to be innocent.

Or how we see her mate so perfect, to the point that history doesn't allow us to stop and think 'wait, this is kind of ...weird'. Or that, as much as there is an error there, but not leat the reader question the characters themselves. Rhysand, for Feyre, is perfect.

We have to see Rhysand as that altruistic, laid-back person who does everything for others, mostly because he did it for Feyre, and that can't be denied. He saved her, took her to her city, her family. What made me stop to think is how Feyre may be reproducing their behavior. How he seems to want her to be part of it so badly. I don't know how to put it into words, but that's more or less what I wrote in another rant I did.

Everything she does is justified by the other characters. At the same time that she, Rhysand and everyone in the IC have hypocritical and very wrong attitudes that history itself does not recognize. And, worst of that, the story seems glorify her POV.

Seriously, when she disobeys the instructions given to her (what she does the most) she has no one to say 'girl, please stop. Just STOP)

And with this said, i add:

We don't have to agree with everything that the characters and the protagonist do. We can love them and still disagree with them, because they are people, or fae, like any other, and there will always be something in them that we will disagree with. It makes them real. They can be heroes and still have their dark side.

The reasons may be as noble as possible, but that will not exclude the consequences, it will not exclude them from being wrong. They do not necessarily need to take a spur or a lesson in morals, but just do not miss out on what every action can bring, especially political leaders in the midst of a war.

Whenever the IC does something, it is for a "bigger" reason, but without giving us the chance to even question it. We don't see them paying for their words, without necessarily moving the plot of the story, in a story that focuses so much on the development of the characters themselves and putting the war in the background (or how should been). Without us being able to question the motivations of the good guys and always doubt the villains.

And this is where I’m going to focus on a more specific point; funny like any character who is "MoRaLlY GrAy" and who "have YOUR rEaSoNs" are men or with history of abuser. Thats funny, right? The new one now is Eris, who was part of Mor's trauma and one of Lucien's nasty brothers, that one who already attacked Lucien, the one who was going to kill Feyre. Who did all that to Mor.

But having Eris saying that she, the victim, didn't tell the whole truth, and the history is now showing that we will see his side...

It just makes me ask, how, in ALL the process of creating and writing these books, passing for her editors, in the books that she wants to pass the message of feminism so much, SJM didn't stop to think, or didn't have a friend to put their hand on your conscience, how wrong does it sound for the abuser to say that the victim is lying?

Why are the men in this saga constantly gaining the gift of doubt?

I can no longer see Rhysand as being morally gray precisely because of what SJM wants us to believe as he is and justifies his actions. What could have been in ACOTAR stopped being completely from ACOMAF, probably because SJM wanted that in her story, the girl would stay with the """villain"""

For from then on, every action of Rhysand is justified and without future consequences, since we are supposed to root for him. Now he is the protagonist's new love interest. So we don't blame him for what he does. So, everything is fine. He's not the bad guy.

And meanwhile, Tamlin comes down to being the bad, abusive guy and... That's it. And no, I don't think he's a good person, he doesn't have to have an arc of redemption, what he did with Feyre is still wrong. The difference now is that Tamlin is just that, those are his only attributes now, while Rhysand has attitudes as bad as, perhaps more, than he had. One is being extremely vilanized while the other is the hero of history, when they are only two sides of the same coin.

I can share this hatred as ALL characters feel for Tamlin, if I didn't see how everyone else did such bad things. Let's remember too, one has the job of torturing people, another has decimated an entire village. They really do what they want and... It's okay.

Doesn't work say that the story has a morally grey area with the characters if the consequences balance it does not lean towards the protagonists.

It costs me less to believe that they are what they are every time SJM reinforces in Feyre's POV how selfless Rhysand is and how much Feyre talks about how badass she is and the two of them such a powerful couple. Literally, I start to think the opposite.

(I did a second part of this rant, but I think it can get a little more personal cause focus in Nesta and Feyre that I decided to split it in two)

#sjm talk so much that rhys is the most beatiful male all the time #that i start to see him with a normal appearence #thats sound so wrong #i swear i cant stand eris #if sjm continue with this redemption arc #rhysand is already wrong #cassian too #azril is more acceptable but still no #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #anti feyre #anti acotar #anti acosf #anti ic #anti amren #morally grey

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unhealthyfanobsession · 4 years ago

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How would you compare the ACOTAR ships to TVD ships? Some people say Feysand is like Delena.

This is SUCH A FUN ASK!! Don’t mind if I do! I’m going to compare the general dynamic of the characters as well as archetype/ story parallels.

This is a crossover post so SPOILERS FOR BOTH ACOTAR AND TVD BELOW.

Stefan-Elena-Damon = Tamlin-Feyre-Rhysand

I don’t mean to do Stefan dirty like this, but the parallels are really undeniable. Stefan and Tamlin both were the kind, caring, magical first introduction to this whole new world for Feyre/Elena. They fell in love with them easily and it was a pure, beautiful love but while they were in it there were darker (Damon and Rhys) forces pulling them in another direction. Both women loved these men SO fiercely and sacrificed for that love. Feyre fought the 3 trials with Amarantha where she ended up being helped by Rhys. Elena went looking for Stefan in his ripper days even though Klaus would kill her if he found her and she was helped by Damon. Both of them fought for this love but then once they had it back... either they or the man or both had changed too much from the trauma and their relationship simply couldn’t work anymore.

I totally agree with the Feysand= Delena point because I think they are both relationships that are very “this person over everyone else no matter what” and that is romantic, but at we see, can also be overbearing/toxic at times. They both do awful things that the heroine has to later learn their motives for and forgive them for. Damon “kills” Jeremy and tries to compel Elena to kiss him early on. He feeds Elena his blood against her will when Klaus might kill her but then he ultimately makes it right through self sacrificing hero acts. Rhys does... everything he did under the mountain and he doesn’t tell Feyre she’s his mate, but then he helps her heal after Tamlin and ultimately saves Prythian. Both characters are also haunted by an abusive relationship- Rhysand a sexually abusive relationship with Amarantha that he endured for 49 years and Damon and emotionally abusive/manipulative relationship with Katherine that defined his life for 150 years.

Damon has a quote in season 4 that I think really describes both couples. He says: “if you’re going to be bad, be bad with a purpose. Otherwise you just aren’t worth forgiving.”

Klaroline = Nessian

This one is more based on character interactions and a bit of my own bias. I struggled to find a TRUE nessian parallel couple but I think Klaroline is the closest for a number of reasons. Largely because Caroline and Nesta are very similar characters. Both start off as shallow, superficial mean girls who we get an early glimpse of their heart (Caroline crying and her I’m never the one monologue and Nesta being on Feyre’s side when she returns in ACOTAR) who then get changed into something they never wanted to be and it helps them grow and OWN THEIR P O W E R. Even Caroline’s stint as emotionless mess after her mom’s death parallels Nesta’s destructive actions after losing her father.

Cassian and Klaus both have the whole “I’m a worthless bastard that no one wants and I killed my father but I am STRONGER THAN EVERYONE so you can’t hurt me even though I’m really just a soft boi who needs love” vibe going on.

And the CHASE. That’s the biggest parallel here. These are both couples where this powerful man walked in and said “that one” re the beautiful woman who hated them and then did not give up. But with both of them it’s a gentle chase. Klaus knows that Caroline is constantly trying to trick him but he doesn’t care because he just wants to spend time with her and whenever she is in danger he is there on the DOUBLE and does things he doesn’t want to do for her (ex- graduation, hiding/ protecting Stefan in season 6). Cassian knows that Nesta is going through a hard time after ACOMAF and he flies up to the House of Wind every damn day to see her even when she pushes him away and he instantly goes into fierce general I will kill mode if anyone threatens Nesta. Also both couples are prone to lashing out at each other (Caroline “terrible people” line; Klaus with his biting. Cassian “everyone hates you”; Nesta with her well... being Nesta LOL)

Bonus points for pet names and relentless teasing when they aren’t trying to kill each other.

Quote for them is when Caroline tells Klaus “anyone capable of love, is capable of being saved” I think that also has big Cassian @ Nesta in ACOSF energy.

(PS I did consider Nessian being Steroline but 1. I fucking hate that ship and 2. Stefan was never there for Caroline during the hard times which is the anti Cassian AND I think the for me it’s always you vibe just fits the intensity of Nessian better)

Kennett = Elriel

I’m not tagging this Elriel so don’t COME FOR ME. In my opinion, these are both ships that had some fun ~tension~ and are kinda sexy/enticing. Kol with his love of witches and their little graduation ghost adventure and Azriel with his attraction to Elain and saving her from Hybern. BUT ultimately I think the most interesting thing about these ships was their convenience. I think fans liked to put Bonnie with Kol in fanfics because it was an easy way to make Bonnie understand Elena and Caroline’s choice for a dark boi and it was just convenient. Likewise I think that Elriel is convenient in writing to simply throw Elain with the other bat brother and tie everything up in a neat little ribbon.

Mabekah= Elucien

In this comparison Rebekah is Lucien and Matt is Elain. This was a couple where one person started off with bad motives (Rebekah wanting to kill Matt at the ball; Lucien plotting with Hybern) but they have genuine feelings for the person once they get to know/are mated to them and you see that person is a much more complicated character than we previously saw. Rebekah and Lucien are both lost, lonely, and struggling to find where they fit in while Matt and Elain are both struggling but ultimately the much beloved “sweet” character who everyone is willing to die to protect. At first the sweet character avoids the villain character like the plague, but eventually things turn around and they see past their previous bad actions.

BonEnzo= Gwynriel

Talk about characters who have some trauma to heal together. Enzo was literally kept in a cage by the Whitmore’s for 50 years and abused much like Azriel in his dungeon. Gwyn has had to make unspeakable decisions in order to protect the greater good and suffer the horrible consequences for it- losing her twin to protect those children much like how Bonnie lost her grams to protect Stefan and Elena. Enzo started off interested in Caroline (like Azriel and Elain) and getting over an obsession with Lilly (Azriel and Mor) but was ultimately drawn to Bonnie for her strength, determination, and good heart despite everything she had been through. These are really all just characters that have been through the RINGER and need to find healing in each other’s arms but would never admit that’s what they are doing so it just happens slowly and one day they realize things don’t hurt as much anymore.

AND FINALLY:

Damon and Caroline= Nesta and Tomas

You know why. Damon doesn’t get off that easy just because he “changed”. He abused Caroline and I won’t be pretending in 2021 that he didn’t.

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snelbz · 4 years ago

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The Ranch {4}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @tacmc x @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty

Cassian rode until the sun had gone down, and after he had everything put away and Daisy was in her stall to rest for the night, he was crashing into his cabin, still filled with frustration and anger. Beau jumped off the recliner and met Cassian by the door, tail wagging.

After kicking off his muddy boots, Cassian grabbed the bottle of bourbon out of his fridge and slumped down into his recliner before putting the cool bottle to his lips.

As he was out riding Daisy, he felt guilty, at first, for the things he had said to Nesta in the kitchen. He hadn’t been fair, and he knew it. He was pissed, and felt stupid for the entire ordeal, and as usual, he had let out those feelings by way of smartass comments in hopes to get a rise out of her.

It had worked, of course, but a little too well. She had threatened to fire him. He, who had dedicated almost a decade to this ranch, who had put his heart and soul into everything he had done over the last eight years. He loved working the ranch, and she wanted to fire him? Why? Because what they had done was inappropriate.

It was utter bullshit.

They were both there that night, and she had wanted it every bit as much as he had. He remembered the fire, the longing, in her eyes, the soft whimpers escaping her lips as his tongue explored her body. He hadn’t imagined it. She wanted him, all of him, but then she left.

Inappropriate.

The word rang through him, repeated in his mind, like a fucking joke.

He grabbed his phone and called Azriel. It rang three times before his brother answered with a breathless, “Hello?”

Cassian gave a quick glance to the clock on the microwave, seeing it was 9:58 on a Saturday night. The one night that both Elain and Azriel are off work and together. And have given their families strict instructions not to call unless it was an emergency.

“Shit, fuck, it’s Saturday, y’all are- well, you know I know what you were doing, but I don’t want to say it because then I’ll think about it and-.”

“Cassian,” Azriel laughed, cutting him off. “I’m at the gym.” He laughed again as he heard Cass breath a sigh of relief, but explained before he could ask. “They needed El to work a double in the NICU today so she gets tomorrow off. So maybe don’t call tomorrow, yeah?”

He cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck. “Right, sorry about that. This would have been real awkward.”

Az snorted on the other end of the phone and the telltale echo Cass could hear in the background told him he’d made his way into the locker room. “Less awkward than that time you took a buckle bunny back to the room in Houston, didn’t tell me or Rhys, and we walked in right when you were about to-.”

“Okay, yes, less awkward than that,” Cass mumbled, all by himself, but still feeling the tips of his ears burn.

He could hear Azriel’s deep laughter on the other end of the phone and when he returned the phone to his ear, he asked, “So what’s got you so out of sorts that you called me on a Saturday night?”

Cassian debated on giving him a little bit of back story, but he’d seen how they were last night. Maybe Az could try and give him a little insight, since he had successfully figured out one of the Archeron sisters.

“I almost fucked Nesta last night.” There was absolute silence on the other end. Cassian pulled the phone from his ear to make sure he hadn't dropped the call somehow. “Az?”

“Rhys and I will be over in twenty.”

The line went dead and Cassian sighed, looking over at Beau. The pup ran over and licked Cassian’s outstretched hand as he said in a singsong voice, “Dad’s in trouble…”

Beau barked as if to say, Trust me, I know. And the pup’s following grin said, And I can’t wait to watch you get your ass handed to you.

Cassian sighed as he fell back in his recliner and waited - waited for his brothers to come give him hell.

Maybe he deserved hell.

He didn’t know.

He took another gulp from the bottle.

Beau jumped up on Cassian’s lap and Cassian let out a long string of curses as he almost spilled his bourbon. Beau was a massive puppy and didn’t understand that he wasn’t a lap dog anymore. Cass didn’t have the heart to tell him either.

Beau was still sprawled across Cassian’s lap, getting his belly rubbed, twenty minutes later, when the cabin door was thrown open.

Azriel was still dressed in his sweaty gym clothes. Cassian assumed he had stopped by to pick up Rhys on the way, who was wearing old sweatpants and a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.

Beau hopped off Cassian, at last, to greet his uncles as Rhysand said, “Feyre says fuck you.”

Cassian blinked. “Wh- you told her?”

Rhysand shrugged, shutting the front door. “I had to let her know where I was going.”

Cassian groaned. “Couldn’t have said you were just coming over for a drink?”

Azriel chuckled as Rhysand said, “I could’ve, but then I couldn’t watch her kick your ass the next time she sees you.”

Cass leaned back in the recliner, covering his face with his hands. The words were muffled as he said, “She would have figured out a reason to anyways, she always does.”

He heard the couch next to him groan as one of his brothers sat down, but Rhys’ voice came from the kitchen when she replied. “Yeah, but now I don’t have to get my ass kicked when she finds out that I knew, and didn’t tell her.”

Cass moved his hands away to see Azriel shaking his head as he threw his sweaty tennis shoes across the room. Beau immediately chased them to the corner, but a whistle from Cassian had him begrudgingly trotting back to his place on the floor in front of the recliner. He flopped down with a huff.

Azriel, deciding to no longer beat around the bush, asked, “Dude, what the hell? You said you two couldn’t even be in the same room without wanting to scream at each other when you called me the day before yesterday.”

Cassian leaned forward and dropped his head into his hands. “I don’t know, I just- she just gets under my skin.”

“She’s Nesta Archeron,” Rhysand announced, finally appearing from the small kitchen. There was a bottle of cheap whiskey in one hand and three glasses in the other. “The Cauldron made her with the sole purpose of getting under people’s skin.”

“Rhys,” Azriel warned.

He placed the contents on the small table between the couch and recliner and held up his hands in surrender. “Now, Cassian, because you’ve chosen to make yet another stupid decision, and because the three of us chose to make that stupid pact at seventeen-years-old, we’re here to be miserable with you.” He cracked the seal and put the plastic bottle of liquor to his lips, the burn of the alcohol damn near painful. He handed the bottle to Cass and he blew out a harsh breath and shook his head.

He happily took it and chugged much more than most humans typically would. When he put the bottle down and opened his eyes, Azriel and Rhysand were watching him.

Azriel let out a low whistle. “You’re in worse shape than I thought.”

“I talked to her about it this afternoon, too,” Cassian said, head already feeling light. “It didn’t go well.”

“Did you….expect it to?” Rhysand asked, brows raised as they passed around the bottle.

Cassian didn’t reply. He didn’t have a good answer. Yes, he had, but he wasn’t sure why.

“Well,” Azriel went on, clearing his throat. “We’re here to take your mind off of it.”

“Drink,” Rhysand said, handing the bottle to Cassian, once more. He did, but not quite as deeply as the first. “And start at the beginning.”

Cassian handed the bottle back to him. “You both may want to start drinking, too,” he said, closing his eyes and reclining back in the chair.

Rhys did as he was told, but Azriel asked, “And why’s that?”

“Because it all started with me walking into the kitchen in the main house to find her perky, little ass up in the air, in the tightest pair of jeans shorts I've ever seen, and ended with her legs wrapped around my waist and her tits in my mouth, against that wall.” Cassian gestured towards the doorway, eyes still closed.

He heard two more heavy swallows.

“I assume something happened between those two moments,” Azriel muttered.

Cassian kept his eyes closed as he said, “I blame the alcohol.”

“Bullshit,” Rhysand said, the couch creaking as he shifted his weight. “Your alcohol tolerance is impressive, to say the least.”

“We did run into each other, literally, after our shower yesterday afternoon,” Cassian muttered. “That didn’t help.”

A pause, then Azriel said, “Our? As in...together?”

Cassian opened his eyes just to roll them. “No. She was getting ready in the main house, too, I didn’t know.”

Rhysand gave him a knowing look.

“I didn’t know,” Cassian repeated, words clipped.

“Alright, alright,” Rhysand mumbled, laughing quietly as he took the bottle from Azriel. “Not to mention that you drove her to and from the bar last night.”

“We came back here, I invited her in,” he went on, taking the bottle from Rhysand and fiddling with the label. “We drank a little, got to know each other a little… She wanted it.”

“You think every woman wants to fuck you,” Rhysand said, as Cassian took a sip of whiskey.

He leaned forward, setting the bottle on the side table and rested his knees on his hands. “Yeah, well, when you’re playing Twenty Questions, and someone says ‘If given the chance, would you fuck me’, what the hell would you think?”

They were both quiet.

“She...asked you that?” Azriel asked, reaching across Rhys for the bottle.

“Swear on my mother’s grave.” Cassian stood up and began pacing in front of the television. “Gods, I tried to fucking not, too. I took the drink instead of answering the question and then I left her out here.” He ran a hand through his hair, pulling it free from the tie it’d been in all day. “I went back into my room and I was going to let her leave and give her some bullshit story about getting sick or something this morning whenever I saw her.” He paused and looked over at that empty recliner, looked at where she’d been sitting just a night ago. “But then I thought, what if I don’t get this chance again? This woman, she’s all that I’ve thought about for the last three days and I just…”

Cassian trailed off and Azriel, without looking away from his brother, nudged Rhys’ arm. “I think we might need that second bottle you left out in the truck.”

“Yeah,” Rhysand said, blinking, before hauling ass out of the cabin. He came back a minute later, with an unopened bottle, as Cassian continued to pace in his little living room.

“Okay,” Rhysand said, settling back into the couch and twisting open the bottle. “Continue.”

Cassian sighed, running a hand, frustratingly, through his hair. “It got a little out of control, for a while...things were getting heated….really fucking heated. Then, she heard my phone vibrate, thanks to you assholes, and I wasn’t going to get it, because, obviously, my phone was the last thing on my mind, but then she kept telling me to answer the fucking phone, so I did.” The words rushed out of him, and as he took another step, he swayed, then cursed. “I looked at the texts, quickly, then when I looked over my shoulder, the front door was open and she was gone.”

“Shit,” Azriel muttered, Rhysand nodded. “She didn’t say anything?”

Cass scooped the near empty bottle from the table and slumped back into the chair. Beau sat up and rested his head on Cassian’s knee. He scratched behind his ear and shook his head, putting his lips to the bottle. He drained the rest of it.

“Should I offer you this before I ask how this morning went?” Rhys asked, extending his hand.

Cassian again shook his head, but stood up and made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a few bottled waters. Didn’t matter if he got shitfaced drunk tonight, he’d still have to be up with the sun to start his day. He sat back down and handed the other two bottles to his brothers.

“It wasn’t this morning, it was about, oh,” he glanced at the clock again. “Three hours ago, give or take.” He took a swig from the cool bottle and set it down. “I gave her space, all day, so she could come up with whatever excuse she wanted, and then when I finally run into her, she’s in this extravagant fucking kitchen, cooking the most delicious looking damn steak I’ve ever seen, and the sun was lighting up her eyes and…” Cass reached for the whiskey again. “She said, it was inappropriate.”

“So she apologized?” Azriel asked, clearly confused.

“Fuck, no, us, what we did, that was inappropriate.” Cassian sighed and dragged a hand down his face. “She says since she’s ‘technically my boss’, we can’t.”

A look of understanding passed between them both.

“What?” Cass asked, noticing the two of them.

“Absolutely not,” was all Azriel said, when Rhys turned to look at him.

Rhys said, “If he’s getting into this thing, he needs to-.”

“Okay, but he’s clearly not getting into it, since Nesta shut him down. I don’t know about you, but I like my balls being-.”

“Oh, shut up, you aren’t even engaged yet, you think you’ll have it bad?”

“Hey!” Cassian said, loudly. They both looked at him. “Someone wanna tell me what the hell you’re talking about?”

Rhysand looked at Azriel. “You brought it up.”

“Fuck you,” he mumbled under his breath, but sighed and looked at Cass. “You didn’t hear this from us and if Elain or Feyre ask, you sure as shit didn’t hear this from us.” Cassian, eyebrows raised, nodded. Azriel looked at Rhys one more time and when he gestured for him to go on, Az sighed. “Nesta nearly got kicked out of the most prestigious culinary institute in France for having an affair with her instructor.”

Cassian stilled.

No one said a word as Cassian stared at Azriel. Even Beau could sense the tension, as he whined quietly, breaking the silence.

“Sorry, what?” Cassian asked, at last.

“Happened a few years ago, at the end of her final semester,” Azriel continued, slowly, cautiously. “She was of age, of course, and he was in his late-twenties. She was in love with him, apparently, but when the board found out...well, it didn’t go well. She had to beg and plead to be allowed to finish school and receive her diploma, and she obviously broke it off with the guy, too. And, considering you are technically under her employment…”

Cassian opened his mouth to protest, but nothing came out. It suddenly all made sense - at least, it made more sense than it had hours before.

And he had been a complete dick to her, then.

“Fuck,” Rhysand breathed, “you look like you’re about to puke.”

Azriel slowly rose to his feet and hurried into the kitchen. He came back to the living room with the garbage can, and tentatively set it down in front of Cassian.

Who still wasn’t saying a word.

“Dude, do you think you should-.”

The sound of retching is all that could be heard in the small cabin.

“Oh shit!” Rhys cried, jumping back into the seat Azriel had just vacated as Cassian emptied the contents of his stomach into the trash can.

He coughed, bracing his hands on the edges of the can. “I’m a piece of shit.”

Rhys mumbled, “Well…”

“Rhys, shut the fuck up.” Azriel said, and handed Cass his water bottle. “Cass, you’re not a piece of shit.”

He groaned, and fell down to the floor as he opened the water bottle and took slow sips.

He should go apologize to Nesta.

But he also knew he had no right to do so. Even if he tried, she probably wouldn’t give him the time of day.

And he didn’t blame her.

His head was pounding, his stomaching rolling. He closed his eyes and put his face into his hands.

“I need to go to bed,” he muttered, talking into his hands.

Azriel whistled for Beau, who was instantly by his side. He then walked to the front door and let the pup out for his last potty break of the night.

“Go get cleaned up. I’ll let Beau in and lock the door behind us.” Azriel leaned beside the wall next to the door and smiled.

Cassian nodded and stood, stumbling back toward the bathroom. He flipped Rhys off as he went.

The second he flipped on the bathroom light he cringed. His eyes were glazed, his eyelids heavy. After grabbing a rag and drenching it in water, he wiped off his face then brushed his teeth. As soon as he walked out into the hall and into his bedroom, he was falling into his bed. He could hear Beau running through the living room, his tail was wagging as he jumped up next to Cassian on his mattress.

Azriel was scolding Rhysand as they walked out. The last thing Cassian heard him say before they shut the front door was, Way to be a prick, dickwad.

Once Cassian was left alone in the silence, though, his guilt only worsened.

He laid there, listening to his ceiling fan rotate and running his hand down Beau’s belly, and he groaned.

He should text her, tell her that he was sorry for being a dick and-.

He didn’t even have her fucking number.

For a split second, he considered going to her house, apologizing, kissing her, he hadn’t decided yet. But then he realized what a stupid idea that was, and likely to get him fired.

So he laid there, room spinning around him as fast as the fan above him, and waited for the sunrise.

#the ranch nessian #shara collab #throne of ashes and beauty x tacmc collab #tacmc toab tag team #throne of ashes and beauty #tacmc x throne of ashes and beauty #nessian #theranchnessian #nesta archeron #cassian

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luciensfox · 4 years ago

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ACOSF Thoughts...

Don’t read unless you wish to be spoiled! Here are some things I can’t get out of my head after finishing the book...

Well first and foremost, I absolutely adore Nessian (as I always have but now it’s even more so) and I’m incredibly pleased with the direction it seems that SJM is leading Nesta’s character development! I’ve always wanted a badass warrior Nesta and I got way more than I figured (short of her growing wings at any time as I think some Valkyrie myths depict, this is amazing/ especially with all of the parallels people drew with her and Enalius). She’s going to make for an interesting character in the coming books and dare I say...commander Nesta. Oh, yes.

Of course I’ve always been obsessed with Lucien and nothing has changed on that front, but I’m even more intrigued now because we still need so many answers. When will it be revealed that he’s the heir of the Day Court? What’s the standings between he and Tamlin? With Vassa and Jurian? With his mother/ brothers? His mate? We literally got only two or three scenes with Luc involved so I knew nothing would be resolved in this novella, however I’m even more excited to see how Eris will play into his character arc come the next story (because you cannot convince me that SJM would put more emphasis on Eris than Lucien in this book and not intend for some brotherly angst in the future). Eris is also an anomaly and maybe it’s because I’m obsessed with the mysterious nature of whatever the hell is happening in the Autumn Court, but I really can’t wait to see what’s up with him and the rest of his family. (Also....the ballroom scene with Nest and Eris dancing to what is supposed to reflect Black Swan was one of my absolute favorite scenes.) Does Eris secretly desire peace and wants to take over Autumn not for power but to make amends and heal/ bring back glory to his home? And what exactly happened with Mor? SJM put so much emphasis on that too and we still have no idea.

I LOVE Gwyneth and Emerie. The triad of Valkyries was honestly the best part of the whole book for me. I know everyone is quick to match up characters with potential romances/ mates etc and it sounds like that’s what will happen with these two...but let’s not forget that they’re incredibly strong characters on their own terms and I hope whatever comes about their arcs isn't entirely placed on their romance status. However, they both seem to want to find someone to be with which leads me to believe that Emerie and Mor will very likely end up together (if only for the fact that we got one sentences indicating Em finds Mor gorgeous....I guess we’ll have to wait and see what happens) and that Gwyn is going to be a potential interest for Azriel.

I love Lucien so much, but my soft fox boy needs to heal and stop forcing himself to find romantic love when all he really needs is some self love. (So perhaps that will be his final journey....Lucien finally coming to terms with his trauma, settling ties with everyone from his past, and taking up his mental as Helion’s son and the future of the Day Court.)

Elain seemed a bit OOC...and yet not at all? We’ve only got the chance to see the “sweet/ innocent” side of her, but it makes sense that she’s going to be a super complex character (SJM wouldn't have set her up so mysteriously if the intent was to leave her as a mere gardener) and that her journey in following books will show us a side of her we’ve never encountered. The Elriel ship has always been a confusing one for me, not because I don’t ship it but because there’s so much happening all the time that it’s hard to get a proper read on clues when SJM throws characters like Gwyn at us...coupled with the fact that Lucien seems to still be in love with Elain (or at least he’s just lonely and doesn't know how else to react, never mind whatever is happening with Vassa and Jurian), and that Az seems intent on getting with Elain....but Az also seems to be the type of character who falls in love deeply without considering a number of things. He’s driven by his desires and often hurt by them, hence his love for Mor. Notice how shortly after he started drifting from his desire for Mor, he started to desire Elain? Part of me wonders if it’s because he found the person he’s meant to be with...or if he felt attracted to her and she was a distraction to his pain and a means to help him get over Mor. Like I said, I don’t know which way I lean just yet but these are all possibilities!

Then there’s the Gwynriel ship--totally didn’t see that coming but I can’t say I don’t enjoy it. I love how Gwyn teases Az in a way that many others usually don’t dare, and that she’s another character with a history outside of the IC. While there’s a lot to consider, like the fact that Az’s shadows shy away when Elain is around but “dance” and seem to be overjoyed when Gwyn is nearby, I think a truly noticeable parallel to the pairing could be this:

Azriel is no stranger to unrequited love. In fact, that seemed to be his overarching characteristic for the first two books. Now that he’s found Elain and she also reciprocates their shared desire, it would be easy to pair them together. However, Gwyn seems to be interested in Azriel and Az can’t seem to figure out his standings with her other than being enticed and not realizing what’s in front of him because he’s so determined to be with Elain since “she’s the third sister and he the third brother” etc so it must make sense somehow even though Elain is mated. But Gwyn, to that extent, is no stranger to unrequited love either.

Just imagine: Azriel finally cracks in the following book and shows a rare display of emotions to either Gwyn or the IC (or both) and Gwyn decides to confront him about facing his fears (his past with Mor, his current standings with Elain, his desire to have someone) by claiming that she knows exactly what unrequited love feels like because every day she stares at him and feels precisely as devastated as he did/does whenever he sees Mor or Elain. Az will probably be shocked to all hell and maybe it’ll snap him out of his misery enough to think clearly on the whole matter.

The Rhysand and Nesta friendship was something else I wasn’t expecting, didn’t necessarily think I’d want, but now am excited to see bloom. They definitely do share traits and I can’t help but remember how Rhys once compared Feyre to Cassian and how Nesta and Rhys might be the opposite counterparts since they’re both haughty and respond to things with incredibly heightened emotions because they love fiercely.

This post is much longer than I’d intended but oh well, some other things for your consideration.....

A Varian/Amren x Nessian double date.

Nesta taking on a similar military role as Cassian and either leading a female unit of Illyrians/ Valkyries or sharing the brunt of Cassian’s job (plus come on... those two training together is essentially their respective version of foreplay and I’m so here for warrior Nessian bonding).

I hope we get to see that mating ceremony scene!

Also....does anyone remember Balthazar--the Illyrian who showed up for one scene and fell asleep on Nesta’s shoulder during the Blood Rite while he helped them find shelter? There’s no way SJM would’ve written in a character like that without intending for him to show up again in the future....

Koschei the deathless? Wonder what will occur there.

Damn, if you’ve made it this far give yourself a pat on the back.

#I honestly was going to write one sentence #ONE #but then...this happened #I guess I just felt very strongly about this book and didn't realize it until now #god there are so many unanswered questions #time for fanfic i guess lol #nessian #a court of silver flames #acosf #acosf spoilers #sjm #elriel #gwynriel #lucien vanserra

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feysandandnyx · 4 years ago

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I sincerely hate the way Feyre's pregnancy was used in acosf and blame it mainly on lazy sjm writing. I think that the way the author develops Feyre's pregnancy is the reason why we are still in total disagreement with the conclusion of acosf. Many of us wanted everything to be resolved with a conversation between the sisters and the rest of us are upset that Nesta has lost his powers to save Feyre. I never liked this plot line because I just find it ridiculous and incredibly lazy that Rhys and Feyre need to face death in yet another book. I just couldn't believe it when I realized that sjm was resorting to this drama again. Wasn't two books where Rhys and Feyre have to fight for life enough? And why did Nesta gain those powers if she would lose them in the end? I found that the development of Nesta's skills was rushed and thrown into the story. There were a lot of things happening at the same time in Acosf.

So in the end, Nesta needs to do something that we had already seen Amaren do, hand over her powers to save those she loved. I really understand the logic of sjm with Nesta and would have even liked it if I didn't feel it was repeated and that I had seen it before. Furthermore, sjm was unable to convince me because Nesta saving Feyre (Rhys and Nyx) was the reason why the character should definitely be forgiven by readers. The first thing I thought was, okay, it saved Feyre's life and the entire night court, but why should I feel any kind of emotion about it when Feyre literally gave his life to save all of Prynthian, not just the fae, but also her family and when she kept her family alive for years, risking her life whenever she went into the forest? Why should I feel that Nesta saving Feyre was incredible when Feyre had done so much before? When had Rhys done so much before and even Tamlin had saved Feyre and Feysand before? To be fair, I found the way she wrote the scene very beautiful and maybe Feyre saying that she loved her sister as soon as she comes back to life, means that she had a glimpse of all those feelings that ran through Nesta, the love that she didn't could put the words out.

I got it. I just thought that the construction was bad and that we didn't have to go that far. Feyre didn't need to die for Nesta to finally admit how she felt, she could have told Feyre that in the same way that she managed to tell Cassian and Amaren. And if the question were Nesta losing part of his powers, sjm could have given us a much more interesting plot line, where definitely a part of the cauldron becomes a threat and demands those powers back.

And the fact that Nesta doesn't care much about her powers, it didn't give me the right feeling that this should be an act of sacrifice even though I know that was the intention. But I also believe that sacrifices happen when we give up things that are important to us. I really believe that part of Amaren's mood in acosf has to do with her loss of powers and how she needs to live without them now (I intend to write about it later). At least for me, it didn't matter to Nesta whether or not she had those powers and that makes all the difference in at least making me believe that she gave something that was really important to her. It was much more about what she could have done with those powers than actually giving something that was valuable to the character.

Furthermore, I found it extremely problematic how Sjm manipulated Rhysand's development so that he would hide from Feyre the real risk of his pregnancy. I can still justify why Rhysand is hesitant to share the burden with Feyre, even though he is completely wrong here. But it is very hard to believe that Rhysand would hide something like that from Feyre after four development books. Apparently, the character learned very little then. Because, while on the one hand it can be altruistic if the character wants to carry the burdens, it is still a defect too and the character should be more relaxed on this issue after the resolution of the war cost him the last drop of his powers. He should be more open to sharing the burden with the people he loves. But, what I feel, is that Rhysand had to hide the risk of pregnancy from Feyre, because he wanted to take the characters to a certain point, mainly Nesta. The moment that Nesta tells Feyre about pregnancy is a key moment for his development because it is after confronting Feyre and Amaren, that Nesta finally begins to reflect and improve. This is a bad development, because as readers, we can see that. Rhysand had to act the way he did simply because he just wanted the character to behave like that. Since we don't have Rhysand's or Feyre's point of view, we can't quite understand why Rhysand is hesitant to tell. Not even Cassian is considering it, when he could. As readers, we know that Rhys also has trauma and that he had recently died. But let it be here that not even that most vulnerable side of Rhysand sjm can develop properly. Even though Rhysand had a pov in the Court of Frost and Starlight, sjm did not enter into darker parts of his thoughts, not even about how he was facing the fact that he died.

It's the same with everyone suddenly not knowing how to save Feyre. Does it mean that fae can see a baby perfectly inside the mother's womb, but cannot perform a successful cesarean section? It seems to me to be much more than just because sjm wanted to. It was suddenly impossible to save Feyre from something that Feyre and Rhys should have already been alerted to given the fact that Rhys is part of Illyriano and Feyre's abilities. The characters falling into these traps become idiots, in my view.

So, I just can't seem to be angry with Rhys or Nesta about Feyre's pregnancy, when I realize Sjm's real intentions. All I think about is that it was badly written and that is why Nesta can't convince me in the end. Nesta is really shocked when she learns about the danger that Feyre's pregnancy posed, but we stop here. Nesta not only agrees to hide Feyre, without considering that she was wrong as much as Rhys loved Feyre, but she also uses that information to hurt Rhys, Feyre and Amaren. If Nesta was really worried about Feyre, she could have called her sister for tea and bracelets. She could have shown that she cared more. We know that she would hardly have been able to sleep if it had been Elain in Feyre's place.

I think that is why people preferred other developments, such as the Valkyries, as the strong point of the book, rather than the conclusion between Feyre and Nesta, although this was designed to be the climax of acosf.

#feyre archeron #pro inner circle #pro rhysand #rhysand

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my-fan-side · 4 years ago

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Unconventional

A/N: Okay, so here’s the Eris-Nesta Friendship (but still Def Nessian) Fanfic that I’ve started drafting about a couple months ago, but went back to it just last week while cleaning up some of my file in folders.So anyway, I hope you guys like it. Thanks for those who have liked, reblogged and have shown interest on this fic. I appreciate it very much and you have no idea how much that means to me. :)

Chapter 1

When Beron Vanserra died, the crown was instantly passed to his eldest son Eris. How he died and to whose hands he had, was never questioned by anyone, any more. What everyone was concerned, and intrigued for that matter, was what’s in store for the future of Autumn Court under its new leadership.

The dead was honored, traditions was observed, the people of the Autumn court grieved, and High Lords from all other courts sympathized with them. But as they say, the end of an era, is a beginning of another. And so, after all the of mourning, a celebration is very looked forward to.

“Invitations! We’re all going to a Ball next week!” Elain came in bouncing towards her family and friends lounging on the townhouse’s foyer. Everyone looked up to her, and to her red head mate who carries a couple of boxes in his arms beside her.

“Already?! Just a week after his father’s death, and a gathering to celebrate his crown is already happening. Eager much, is he?” Mor snorted with a mix of amusement and irritation as she took one of the invitations and stroke its elaborate design.

“Well, He is already the High Lord of Autumn. He already became one, the moment Beron took his last breath. This is Coronation Ball is just for formality.” Rhysand pointed out as he sat beside his mate. Feyre was admiring the red and gold intricate swirls on the invitation as well. It is beautiful, and if the invitation alone looked this extravagant, she could only imagine what more the actual party would be.

Elain finished distributing the invitations and was now seated on the sofa beside Nesta and Cassian. She frowns on the inner circles’ reactions though. She expected them to be at least a little bit excited for the ball, since it’s been a while since they’ve attended one from a different court. She thought that the animosity between the group and Eris has already subsided. She won’t say it out loud, but she thinks it was a relief to all of them when the throne was transferred to him. They all knew that if not for Eris, some of the treaties between Autumn and Night court wouldn’t have pushed through. He has shown good faith these past years, so she’s not really sure what to feel on their reactions. Maybe she still hasn’t truly understood how deep does the scars run among these people.

Lucien opt not to comment and just rearrange the two boxes he was carrying by the table. He is used to these peoples’ dislike toward his brother, he doesn’t blame them, there’s history there. Still, he and his brother managed to establish a civil relationship for a while now. He wouldn’t say that they are now best brothers, but for now, at least they were on the same page on being at least friendly. At the beginning he bears it for their mother, but as time passes by, Eris managed to show them that he is a better male than his Father was.

“Well, Elain is right! It’s been a while since we all visited another court for a celebration. We have been busy these past few weeks. So, I, for one, is very excited to go party!” Cassian winked at Elain and it made her giggle, Nesta snort, and the rest of the gang shook head and roll their eyes.

“Speaking of. Nesta, this is for you, for the party.” Lucien handed the box to her.

“For me?” Nesta took the box unsure what to make of it.

“Yes, the other box is for Elain.” Lucien confirmed and handed the other box to his mate.

“Hey! What about me?” Feyre protested with a pout from the other side of the room.

“Uhmm. Well, the one for Elain is actually from my mothers. A late birthday present since I’ve mentioned to her that last week was Elain’s birthday.” Lucien explained carefully, hoping not to upset his first Archeron friend. Meanwhile, Elain blushes on receiving that gift. She knows what’s in the box, she has already opened it when they were still on the Autumn court. It was a beautiful long dress, perfect for next week’s occasion.

“Uhhhh, so is this an advance birthday present for me too? From your mother? Because my birthday is still a couple of months from now, and I wasn’t aware she knows about it?” Nesta asked with raised brows. She’s confused on why Lucien’s mom would give her anything at all, what more, a present?

“Actually, it’s not exactly from mother. That – is from Eris, sort of. He told me to give you that.” Lucien said with a raised brow and a smirk. Elain bit her lip trying not to laugh. Not because of Nesta’s snort when Lucien said it was from Eris, but because of the rest of the Inner Circle’s reaction. They were all rendered speechless looking back and forth between Nesta and the gift box. Azriel and Amren with narrowed eyes. Rhysand with raised brows. Feyre and Mor probably didn’t even noticed their mouths agape. And Cassian, Nesta’s mate, who’s face went from shocked, then confused, then angry in just a matter of seconds, was frozen still.

Nesta, however, seems to be unaffected and probably amused on their reactions as well. She took the cover of the box, saw a card atop it and read it. What’s written made her snicker. And before she returned the card inside the box, Cassian grabbed it fast and read it aloud.

“Nesta.

Here’s a dress that I hope you’ll wear on my Ceremony. I know I can’t tell you what to do, I’ve learned my lessons. But, just because you’re from the Night court doesn’t mean you’ll wear black and white only. Or Gray like you usually do. Really, you should spice up your wardrobe a little, will you?

Eris.”

The letter sounds teasing enough that they can’t help but wonder how close Eris and Nesta have really become. And why the heck they didn’t know about it. Well except Elain and Lucien.

Cassian’s nostrils flared, and crumpled the piece of paper with Eris note. He was about to say something, when Nesta punched his arm, not that hard really, just to make him stop seething.

“Will you stop being territorial. Gods! It’s just a note!” Nesta rolled her eyes at his mate.

“Sweetheart, this...” he raised the crumpled notes towards Nesta. “…is just a note. “But that—” he point his fingers towards the dress that’s still neatly folded inside the gift box. “--is not! Why the heck is Eris giving you a dress? And since when are you two friends? Why did I not know this? Wha—” He wasn’t able to finish his blubbering. Nesta put a finger on his lips to shut him up and answers his questions calmly.

“One, he’s giving me a dress because he wants to--- for some reason. Two, I can’t remember exactly when we started to get along, but it’s not like it happened the instant I have visited Autumn court as an Emissary. And three, well… I don’t know why you didn’t know. I guess it just never came up. It’s not like we talk about him that much. Do you want to talk about him?” Nesta finished her statement coolly and with a raised brow towards Cassian.

“No.” He grumbled, he’s annoyed and mad. Too many questions running through his mind.

“I do!” Feyre answered back. “I want to know how you are friends. I mean, you go to other courts too, but it’s not like you have close friends from every courts?” she said and then crossed her arms. She can’t believe her sister is actually friends with Eris. And they must be closer than just the casual acquaintances, because he was literally giving her gifts.

Nesta tilted her head towards Feyre and answered her evenly. “And how are you so sure I don’t?” She crossed her arms too and face her younger sister. Like a challenge. The others kept quiet eyeing the two having a staring match.

Then Nesta sighed and leaned back towards Cassian’s arms. “I don’t get why you’re all bothered about this. I can have friends outside this circle and this court, you know? Like you do.”

“We never said you can’t or don’t.” Rhysand clarified.

“Of course. Of course. I guess it just caught us off guard. We didn’t know.” Feyre let it go and leaned back towards her mate as well. “But you do?!” she then turned her attention to her other sister. Pointing out that among all of them, she isn’t surprise with this.

Elain nods her confirmation. “Well, keep in mind that I usually used to accompany Nesta if she has to go do her work in Autumn, and she chaperoned whenever I go there to meet Lucien there, back then. So, sometimes it’s the four of us who spend time together.” She continued and then shrugged it off.

“Yes, and I’m polite enough to leave them and give the two of them some time alone.” Nesta nods her head pointing to Elain and Lucien. “Because I may be overprotective, but I’m not going to hinder on what makes them… getting to know each other better.” She gave them both a soft smile which the couple returned happily.

“But my brother is stubborn enough as well and decides to not leave Nesta’s side, when she gives us space. You know, Eris might not be the sharpest knife in the bunch, but he knows what he’s saying when it comes to Court Trades and Treaties. And to be honest, when I saw their clash of words on that topic for the first time, I immediately thought that it’s either they’ll kill each other eventually, or miraculously be the best of friends in the end. Well, I guess miracles do happen.” Lucien finished and laughed at that. Elain laughed with him, she thought of that too. Nesta just wave off the statement but that little smirk was undeniably on her face.

“I actually agree with that.” Amren spoke for the first time since the discussion started. “Eris is…cunning and dangerous, yes. But he’s also clever and have the set of skills one leader must have. Just like some one we all know.” She raised a brow and a sly smile towards Nesta. “Maybe that’s why they get along. Besides, whether we all admit it or not. We are glad it was him that have inherited that crown among the Vanserras. We all know it was what’s best for the Autumn court.” She said then finished the wine she was holding.

Cassian was openly glaring at Amren, which the other felt but totally ignored, because how could she actually defend that bastard? However, he can’t say anything else to contradict her statement though, because he knew it was the truth. And everyone seems to think the same because there was a quiet stillness after Amren said her piece.

“Anyway, count me in! Because it will definitely be one heck of a party.” Amren smirked and pointed her wine glass towards Lucien and Elain’s position, her statement seems to finished the conversation.

Tags: @sjm-things @moonbeammadness @maastrash

@typicalmidnightsoul

#nessian #eris and nesta friendship fic #nesta archeron #cassian #eris vanserra #acotar fanfiction #myfansidefanfic

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livingasaghost · 6 years ago

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a comprehensive list of all the lyrics from reputation that remind me of feyre/rhys/feysand/acomaf:

“WE THINK WE KNOW SOMEONE, BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT WE ONLY KNOW THE VERSION OF THEM THAT THEY HAVE CHOSEN TO US” - introducing the high lord and lady of the frikkin night court PLEASE BOW

ready for it

“knew he was a killer first time that i saw him” - UM HELLO MEETING RHYS AT THE FIRE NIGHT?!

“in the middle of the night in my dreams you should see the things we do baby” - i swear half of their relationship started in their heads those filthy idiots

“knew i was a robber first time that he saw me” - feyre literally becomes a spy in tamlin’s house

“but if i’m a thief then he can join the heist and we’ll move to an island” - THEY PULL OFF THAT HUGE HEIST TOGETHER IN ACOWAR AND THEY BASICALLY WANNA MOVE TO THAT LIL CABIN IN ACOMAF am i shouting i’m sorry

“he can be my jailer burton to this FEYRE” - at first he’s kind of her jailer but then she falls in love with him soooo (also this could be satire bc tamlin was literally her jailer)

“every love i’ve known in comparison is a failure” - TAMLIN THE TOOL AM I RIGHT

“i forget their names now, i’m so very tame now, never be the same now” - satire again but she does become ‘tame’ once she goes back with tamlin

“baby let the games begin” - oof acowar am i right

end game

“big reputation ooooh you and me we got big reputations” - literally rhys and feyre both end up with big reputations

“ooooh you and me would be a big conversation” - THE DEFINITION OF THEIR EFFING RELATIONSHIP

“i got a bad boy persona that’s what they like -- you love it” - freaking rhysand oof

“you hold me down and i’ll protect you with my life” - literally rhys about feyre

“i don’t wanna touch you i don’t wanna be just another ex-love you don’t wanna see” - feyre when she doesn’t realize she loves rhys and they’re mates lol

“KNEW HER WHEN I WAS YOUNG RECONNECTED WHEN WE LITTLE BIT OLDER” - okay so feyre and rhys didn’t know each other as kids BUT they were mentally connected by the bond so that’s kind of the same thing??

“reputation precedes me, in rumors i’m knee deep” - RHYS AND amirightladies

“for all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease” - literally i swear rhys says this about feyre all the time

“for all my flaws paranoia and insecurities -- i’ve made mistakes and made some choices that’s hard to deny” - and here’s rhys being self-deprecating as always

“i hit you like bang, we tried to forget it but we just couldn’t” - oof talk about their whole relationship

“i swear i don’t love the drama it loves me” - okay so this is like feyre and rhys both like both of them attract so much freaking drama without even trying

“i can’t let you go your hand prints on my soul” - FEYSAND FEELS

“you’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips -- I WANNA BE YOUR END GAME” - in acomaf when feyre is just a DUMB DEPRESSED ABUSED BITCH rhys is like UH UH I AM CALLING YOUR BLUFF AND BRINGING YOU BACK TO LIFE ANGEL

i did something bad

do i need to even do this one lol

“i never trust a narcissist, but they love me” - this whole song is about tamlin we BEEN KNEW

“for every lie i tell them, they tell me three” - literally tamlin and ianthe whenever they talk to feyre lol

“this is how the world works, now all he thinks about is me” - when she leaves tamlin is so bent up on her and she just wants him to let it go but HE CANT

“IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHING i don’t regret it one bit cuz he had it comin” - poetic cinema

“they say i did something bad, then whys it feel so good?” - tamlin and lucien and everyone just thinks she’s evil and awful for siding with rhys but it doesn’t even matter HAHAHA

“so i fly em all around the world and i let them think they saved me” - when feyre goes back to tamlin’s court oof

“they never see it comin what i do next” - feyre causing trouble in the spring court in acowar hehehe

“he says dont throw away a good thing, but if he drops my name then i owe him nothing and if he spends my change THEN HE HAD IT COMIN” - HEAR THAT TAMLIN YOU HAD IT COMIN

“they’re burning all the witches even if you arent one - so light me up” - this whole song is just a feyre anthem am i right

don’t blame me

“don’t blame me love made me crazy” - feyre when she pretends the bond is broken at the end of acomaf lol “NO TAMLIN I PROMISE ID NEVER DO THAT RHYS MADE ME CRAZY”

“something happened for the first time in the darkest little paradise” - the freaking night court is a dark little paradise am i right

“for you i would cross the line” - FEYRE! CROSSED OVER! FROM THE SPRING COURT! INTO THE NIGHT COURT!

“they say she’s gone too far this time” - literally everyone judging her for jumping ship to rhys

“echoes of your name inside my mind, halo hiding my obsession” - !!!!!! THEY LITERALLY ECHO IN EACH OTHER’S MINDS!!! AND THEY’RE SO OBSESSED!!!

“i once was poison ivy but now i’m your daisy” - this line is interesting bc in theory she went from a daisy to poison ivy but RHYS actually turned her from the depressed poison ivy she was in acomaf to the daisy that loves him and fights for their court OOF

“and baby for you i would fall from grace just to touch your face” - FREAKING THIS LINE!!!! FEYRE FELL FROM GRACE BC SHE WANTED TO TOUCH RHYS’ FACE!!!

“if you walk away id beg you on my knees to stay” - all i can picture is rhys on his knees rememberrrr

delicate

“my reputation’s never been worse so you must like me for me” - RHYSAND TO FEYRE

“we can’t make any promises now can we babe? but you can make me a drink” - this is like the beginning of their relationship bc they never really make promises to each other but they just spend time together and hope it’ll work out

“oh damn never seen that color blue” - mmmmm rhys’s eyes what a time

“is it chill that you’re in my head?” - honestly this whole song is rhys @ feyre

“do the girls back home touch you like i do?” - feyre thinking about freaking amarantha???

“echoes of your footsteps on the stairs, stay here honey i don’t wanna share” - all those times that rhys had to leave to do whatever business he had

“sometimes i wonder when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me?” - !!!! the purest lil rhysand

“sometimes when i look into your eyes i pretend you’re mine all the damn time” - if this isn’t feysand i swear

look what you made me do

GO OFF FEYRE GO OFF!!!

“i don’t like your little games don’t like your tilted stage the role you made me play, of the fool, no i don’t like you” - FEYRE GOING OFF ON TAMLIN AM I RIGHT

“but i got smarter i got harder in the nick of time, honey i rose up from the dead i do it all the time” - i just like to imagine feyre drawing herself to her full height with her wings and her fierce face and just towering over tamlin in rage

“i’ve got a list of names and yours in red underlined” - i mean....feyre has a list for sure

“LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!!” - tamlin look what you made her do geez

“i don’t like your kingdom keys they once belonged to me” - MMMM feyre once liked the spring court but then he just LOCKED HER IN AND TOOK THE KEYS

“the world moves on another day another drama drama, but not for me not for me all i think about it karma” - feyre going to rhys is totally dramatic but she keeps thinking about the karma of it all

“maybe i got mine but you’ll all get yours” - FEYRE @ THE SPRING COURT

“i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me” - lucien @ feyre

“i’ll be the actress starring in your bad dreams” - god if this aint feyre

“i’m sorry the old feyre can’t come to the phone right now -- why? OH! CUZ SHE’S DEAD!” - !!!!! SHE IS NOW HIGH LADY GO OFF GIRL

so it goes

literally just the feysand sex anthem

“see you in the dark, all eyes on you my magician” - rhys is totally feyre’s magician omg

“gold cage hostage to my feelings” - so many cage metaphors but this is a good nice cage bc it’s just her being held hostage by her feelings and not a mean white guy

“all the pieces fall right into place” - that’s feysand for ya

“you know i’m not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you” - FREAKING that’s just the definition of rhys and feyre

“i make all your gray days clear and wear you like a necklace” - honestly this works for both of them bc they both make their gray days clear (and wear each other around lol)

“but i got your heart skippin when i’m gone” - rhys always being afraid when feyre goes off

“scratches down your back now...” - i mean...need i say more?

“you did a number on me, but honestly baby who’s counting?” - let’s pretend i like writing about sex yikes

gorgeous

IF THIS AINT JUST TRUE FEYSAND

“you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong” - rhys definitely has a very strong magnetic field

“and i got a boyfriend he’s older than us, he’s in the club doin i don’t know what” - lol @ tamlin

“you’ve ruined my life by not being mine” - i mean...come on

“you’re so gorgeous i can’t say anything to your face, cuz look at your face” - yes rhysand is GORGEOUS *DING*

“and i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way” - feyre was always just so mad whenever she started liking him bc she didn’t want to what a dumb bitch

“you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room” - this is like the whole beginning of their relationship haha

“ocean blue eyes looking in mine i feel like i might sink and drown and die” - !!!!! RHYSAND!!!

getaway car

I MEAN COME ON??! is taylor just copying acomaf??!

“it was the best of times the worst of crimes” - what tamlin did was a crime honestly

“i struck a match and blew your mind but i didn’t mean it and you didn’t see it” - this is all of tamlin and feyre’s relationship in acomaf honestly like feyre does stuff she doesn’t actually mean but tamlin doesn’t see it anyway

“i wanted to leave him, i needed a reason” - !!! SHE WANTED TO LEAVE TAMLIN!!! SHE DIDN’T HAVE A REASON THO SO SHE JUST CRIED FOR HELP!

“he poisoned the well i was lying to myself” - did he not?

“you were drivin the getaway car we were flyin but we never get far” - rhysand swooped in (although technically it was mor but whatever!)

“it was the great escape the prison break, the light of freedom on my face” - when feyre finally made it to the night court oof!

“he was runnin after us i was screamin go! go! go! but with 3 of us honey it’s a sideshow” - this is exactly what happened

“we were jet set bonnie and clyde - until i switched to the other side” - she and tam were partners! but then she jumped ship to the night court!

“i’m in a getaway car, i left you in the motel bar, put the money in a bag and i stole the keys, that was the last time you ever saw me” - i like to think about how feyre just skipped out of the spring court like the devious little minx she is

“i was riding in a getaway car, i was cryin in a getaway car, i was dyin in a getaway car, said goodbye in a getaway car” - oof

king of my heart

AND ALL AT ONCE!!!

“we rule the kingdom inside my room” - yep that’s feysand alright

“cause all the boys and their expensive cars with their range rovers and their jaguars never took me quite where you do” - tamlin gave her so much and yet he really didn’t give her what counted hmmmm

“AND ALL AT ONCE YOU ARE THE ONE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR KING OF MY HEART BODY AND SOUL” - sigh

“your love is a secret i’m hoping dreaming dying to keep” - they have to hid their love when feyre goes back to tamlin and now i’m sad

“change my priorities the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury” - before rhys feyre really didn’t have anything to fight for so he gave her purpose and life and proved that she had that in her all along, even without him

“is this the end of all the endings? my broken bones are mending with all these nights we’re spending” - RHYS LITERALLY BROUGHT HER BACK TO LIFE AFTER SHE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT AT TAMLINS

“baby all at once this is enough” - feysaaaand

dancing with our hands tied

“i loved you in secret, first sight we loved without reason” - even though she didn’t love him from that first time at the fire night, even when she saw him she was like OOF THIS GUY

“my love had been frozen, deep blue but you painted me golden” - !!!! NAME A MORE PERFECT LYRIC! FEYRE WAS LITERALLY DEPRESSED AND BLUE BUT RHYS BROUGHT HER BACK AND MADE HER GOLDEN!

“you said there was nothing in the world that could stop it, i had a bad feeling” - literally just them going to hybern

“you had turned my bed into a sacred oasis” - need i say more

“people started talking, putting us through our paces, i knew there was no one in the world who could take it” - when word got out that they were together and ppl just hated that

“but we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied” - mmmm starfall

“i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us” - like honestly feysand to the extreme

“so baby can we dance through an avalanche?” - oof

“i’m a mess but i’m the mess that you wanted” - FEYRE IS SUCH A MESS! RHYS IS SUCH A MESS! BUT THEY BOTH WANTED EACH OTHER!!!

“cause it’s gravity keeping you with me” - they’re literally mates and they keep being destined to be together it’s gravity bay-beeee

“i’d kiss you as the lights went out, swaying as the room burned down, i’d hold you as the water rushes in, if i could dance with you again” - literally the end of acomaf i’m sad

dress

the other feysand sex anthem yeet

“our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you” - oof when they have to go to the court of nightmares

“there is an indentation in the shape of you, made your mark on me a golden tattoo” - this is so feysand it hurts

“all of this silence and patience pining and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you” - like???? honestly get a room

“say my name and everything just stops i don’t want you like a best friend” - remember when feyre thought they were just friends LOL

“ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF” - it be like that sometimes

“inescapable i’m not even gonna try” - that’s exactly what their relationship is

“and if i get burned at least we were electrified” - oh they were electrified all right

“i’m spillin wine in the bathtub, you kiss my face and we’re both drunk, everyone thinks that they know us, but they know nothing about...” - just like...imagine the two of them...im crying

“even in my worst times, you could see the best in me” - !!!!! feyre @ rhysand and rhysand @ feyre

“flashback to mistakes, my rebounds my earthquakes, even in my worst lies you saw the truth in me” - tag a more perfect couple

“and i woke up just in time, now i wake up by your side, my one and only my lifeline” - IT’S THEM! EACH OTHER’S LIFELINE!

this is why we can’t have nice things

“why’d you have to rain my parade? i’m shaking my head i’m locking the gates” - honestly tamlin is at fault like he didn’t have to be an asshat and yet...

“THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS DARLING BECAUSE WE BREAK THEM I HAD TO TAKE THEM AWAY” - feyre taking herself (the nice thing) out of the spring court bc tamlin’s an ass

“did you think i wouldn’t hear all the things you said about me????” - literally so much shit-talking is done in the spring court i swear

“there i was giving you a second chance but you stabbed me in the back whlie shaking my hand” - the definition of tamlin honestly

“so i took an axe to a mended fence” - BYE BYE BITCH

“but i’m not the only friend you lost lately IF ONLY YOU WEREN’T SO SHADY” - lucien even said tamlin was in the wrong!!! AND TAMLIN WAS SO SHADY HE WENT TO THE KING OF HYBERN!!!

“here’s a toast to my real friends!” - we love the inner circle

“and here’s to my baby!” - we stan rhysand

“and here’s to you cuz forgiveness is a nice thing to do -- I CANT EVEN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE” - LOLOLOLOL

call it what you want

okay out of ALL OF THE SONGS this one is definitely the one that matches up the most, the one that i think is truly 100% the best feysand song in existence

“my castle crumbled overnight” - feyre literally was in the spring court and then suddenly she just felt awful and tamlin was the worst

“i brought a knife to a gunfight” - feyre trying to fight amarantha but also trying to go against tamlin

“all the liars are calling me one” - IANTHE AND TAMLIN OOF

“nobody’s heard from me for months, i’m doin better than i ever was” - !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAS BITCH

“my baby’s fit like a daydream, walking with his head down i’m the one he’s walking to” - rhys does not care what anyone says or thinks he just loves feyre oof

“SO CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT YEAH CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT TO” - literally no one understands them outside the inner circle and i just wanna die

“my baby’s fly like a jetstream, high about the whole scene, loves me like i’m brand new” - RHYS LITERALLY FLIES! AND LOVES HER LIKE SHE’S BRAND NEW!!!

“all my flowers grew back as thorns, windows boarded up after the storm” - funny bc it’s a court of THORNS and ROSES but also she did change from that innocent soft girl to someone who would cut a bitch for her friends, she also is really closed off at the start of acomaf and rhys just...

“he built a fire just to keep me warm” - KEEPS HER WARM!

“all the drama queens taking swings, all the jokers dressing up as kings” - the frikkin spring court (tamlins the drama queen lol)

“they fade to nothing when i look at him” - dare i say oof

“and i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn i never learn at least i did one thing right” - SHE DID ONE THING RIGHT

“i’m laughing with my lover making forts under covers” - picture feysand building a pillow fort

“STARRY EYES SPARKING UP MY DARKEST NIGHT” - LIKE COME ON!!! THE NIGHT COURT!!! IM SCREAMING!!

“I WANT TO WEAR HIS INITIAL ON A CHAIN ROUND MY NECK, NOT BECAUSE HE OWNS ME BUT CUZ HE REALLY KNOWS ME” - okay wait this one though....dare i say....oof

“you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me - yes” - that’s like the definition of feysand

new year’s day

“there’s glitter on the floor after the party” - STAR FALL!!!!

“don’t read the last page but i stay when you’re lost and i’m scared and you’re turning away” - i’ve run out of cool anecdotes so cut to me sobbing

“i want your midnights” - like...all their nightmares....

“i can tell that it’s gonna be a long road, but i’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town babe, or if you strike out and you’re crawling home” - oof

“i stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes” - still feeling things

“hold on to the memories they will hold on to you” - im sad

why she disappeared

“when she fell, she fell apart” - feyre in acomaf am i right

“cracked her bones on the pavement she once decorated as a child with sidewalk chalk” - FEYRE’S A PAINTER! IT FITS!

“when she lay there on the ground, she dreamed of time machines and revenge and a love that was really something, not just the idea of something” - honestly tho if this aint feyre

“when she stood, she stood with a desolate knowingness, waded out into the dark wild ocean up to her neck, bathed in her brokenness” - *singing* acomafff

“said a prayer of gratitude for each chink in the armor she never knew she needed” - it helped her find rhysand

“standing broad shouldered next to her was a love that was really something” - OOF

“without your past, you could never have arrived, so wondrously and brutally, by design or some violent exquisite happenstance...here” - !!!!!! FEYRE ARCHERON EVERYBODY!!!!

#feysand #reputation #acomaf #acotar #feyre #feyre archeron #rhys #rhysand #night court #sjm #sarah j maas #taylor swift

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ritamordio19 · 6 years ago

Text

The Idea of a Love Triangle in ACOTAR 4.0 vs. Nessian

So I’ve been much more active in the last two days on my Tumblr than I have since like....well, ever, to be honest (considering this is my first post), and I’ve been seeing a lot of mentions of a possible love triangle between Cassian and Nesta/Emerie, which I heavily disagree with, so I wanted to dissect Cassian’s character quite a bit in this post. I won’t touch Nesta’s character since, as much as I love her, I don’t think I could possibly do a better job than rhysand-vs-rowan did on the one reblog I have on my wall (seriously, read that one too; it’s amazing!!). But Cassian is just as important (and real) to me as Nesta, and I think people don’t realize quite how large his main character trait drives his actions, which is to say: He has to help every female character in distress. And it’s true. He literally cannot help himself whenever there is a woman in any type of problematic situation, which I factor largely due to how his own mother was treated when he was a young child and the helplessness he felt at that time when he couldn’t stop her from being killed. Now I’m not saying this is a character “flaw” per se-- he certainly does quite extraordinary deeds at times, sometimes at great personal cost, to help out these various women in his life -- but it isn’t really a choice for him and can cause serious emotional exhaustion for him when he’s overburdened (often the case when dealing with the Illyrian camps). I see a helper’s complex in him where he can’t feel complete or satisfied as long as he knows a woman is burdened, causing emotional drainage until he’s fixed the issue. The reason I bring this up is because people are looking at how Azriel or [especially] Rhysand treat women they love/have romantic interest in and saying “Cassian treats X girl this way too, therefore there might be a love triangle.” But they’re not comparable situations. Rhysand --only-- put in the amount of effort he put in with Feyre because she was Feyre. You do not see him draining himself to the bone to help Nesta now, and you did not see him draining himself to the bone to help Elain earlier either. At best, he offered them positions in his court, a very low-energy offering, and he left almost all of the grunt work to Cassian, Azriel, and Feyre. This is not to say he doesn’t -care- about their pain, but he is not the type to go out of his way to help while he’s busy being High Lord. He is much more of a passive resource, available to help if asked for, which Elain only uses to a small extent and Nesta is incapable of using (as it would require her to ask for help, something she is currently not capable of and possibly/probably does not believe she deserves at the moment, with the amount of trauma she is dealing with). Azriel we have less information on, but he puts exactly zero work into helping Nesta, while putting in a noticeably larger effort with Elain. And were Morrigan to ever have another traumatic event, it is almost assured that Azriel would be there for her as well. Cassian, on the other hand, has been like this with every woman he has encountered in the story who has been hurt, regardless of [lack of] romantic interest. He put in emotional work with Feyre during their initial training, and he constantly, CONSTANTLY fights for the rights of Illyrian women to remain unclipped and holds these rights and their rights to be trained as his #1 and #2 priorities when in Illyrian camps during non-war times. In addition, while he admits doing so due to jealousy and claims he regrets it, I don’t think he truly would reverse his decision to sleep with Morrigan if that decision had come five years ago instead of 500 years ago. I do strongly believe that, even with age/wisdom/”maturity”, he would’ve risked sacrificing his friendship with Azriel to save her from a life in the Autumn Court with who he believed Eris to be (who Eris truly is?), not having advance knowledge of what her parents would do to her. Yes, he has gone overboard emotionally with Nesta as a result of his interest in her, mainly in terms of their mutual verbal jabbing, but remember this really crucial line, when Cassian realizes she’d been sexually assaulted, from their small story in the back covers of ACOMAF:

“She hadn’t answered him. ‘Would it change anything if someone had? Would it make you see me differently, treat me differently?’

‘It’d make me hunt them down and shatter every bone in their body.’ A shiver went down her spine -- not at the fear of him, but at the truth in the promise. The sincerity. ‘You don’t know me,’ she said. ‘Why bother?’ Cassian snarled, inching closer, his hand gripping hers -- then paused. As if the question sunk in. As if reality sunk in. He blinked. ‘I’d do it for anyone.’ She knew he meant it -- and that he would.”

In terms of him acting as the protector/helper figure that he is, he would go to the ends of the earth for anyone. So the pain he feels at Emerie’s wings being clipped, the anger he feels that the entire village is ignoring her store because a female Illyrian is running it -- that would’ve been the same for any female he encountered. In fact, he demonstrates the same exact internal dialogue/speech with Emerie that he does with literally any female character in the cast other than Nesta. While he may make comparisons to Nesta, these are still passive thoughts from his first impression of a new face (and daughter of an old friend), and they have no emotional baggage or romantic obsessiveness behind them. I want you to compare this to his attitude towards Nesta, far different than with any other member of the cast. In their first and second meetings, he has a very low view of her due to her treatment of Feyre and insults her [protecting Feyre], earning a fairly large backlash from her as well. Importantly, at no point does he see her in any way as vulnerable or burdened until he finds out her past trauma from sexual assault in their second meeting. He doesn’t know about her starving herself (and by proxy her other sisters) in order to try to force her father to do something and the subsequent guilt she faces. He doesn’t know about the trauma she faced watching her mother die. He doesn’t know about Tomas until mid-second meeting. He doesn’t even know about her loneliness/feeling of madness at being the only one to know the truth in their entire household in the midst of Tamlin’s glimmer on their household. He doesn’t know how she braved the forest for weeks in order to try to rescue Feyre. Yet, importantly, he says this in his inner monologue before meeting her the second time to deliver Rhysand’s message:

“Cassian surveyed the estate, the muddy, thawing grounds, the distant village, and looming, budding forest. He’d left their first encounter not entirely sure where he’d stood, or who’d had the upper hand. And, Mother damn him, in the past few weeks, he’d found himself turning over every word and look he’d exchanged with her, over and over.

None of it had been pleasant, every syllable from her mouth barbed and vicious, and...Cassian huffed a breath, hot tendrils ripping away in the wind. He couldn’t tell what was worse: that he’d thought so much about it, or that he’d run here so damn fast. And was now...dawdling.

The thought sent him into a swift, reckless dive for the green-roofed estate.

Nesta is the only character in the entire series that Cassian feels this way towards. She is the only character who gets under his skin -- Emerie included. And remember, this started from their first meeting, whereas his meeting with Emerie was the very definition of platonic, even as he felt the need to solve her shop’s financial crisis. Seriously, could you imagine the following:

He’d had lovers, some for a night and some for months, and Mor had never cared, but...

This woman standing before him like a pillar of steel and flame...Cassian didn’t want to tell Mor about her. About how he’d touched her neck.

...being said about any other female character in the series, even Emerie? Cassian would likely help any woman in distress the way he helps Nesta, but would he freak out about them, constantly replaying their conversations in his head? Would he find himself drawn, time and time again, to any other woman that he views with as much disdain as he did Nesta in their early days? He literally calls her a bitch at least three times in their second meeting alone, and that’s not counting the large number of other insults he sends her way, whether stated out loud or not, all with full intent.

Conclusion

Now, I will temper my comments to a small degree at the end here, which is that, despite being a huge Nessian shipper, I do think it is possible that they do not end up together despite believing, without a doubt in my mind, that they are mates. I just do not think that this would ever be due to Cassian’s end, which is what an Emerie love triangle would entail.

On the other hand, Nesta is dealing with quite heavy emotional trauma post-war, and she is [very understandably] pissed off that literally everyone sees her as Cassian’s. She is free to do whatever she wants, and she may choose to take her own path as Cassian (and the rest of the Court) reminds her too much of the reasoning for various aspects of her trauma (the Cauldron, the war, her father dying). And that is absolutely okay -- she has the right to make her own choice, even if it isn’t Cassian, even if the person she chooses isn’t her mate (are you hearing me Feyre about Elain?????).

But I 100,000% believe with my entire heart that Cassian would rather go single another 500 years than ever give his heart to anyone but her. Thanks for reading my way-too-long comments on Cassian. Let me know if you agree/disagree -- I’d be interested to know why the love triangle theorists believe Emerie to be in play for Cassian’s emotions and am open to having my mind changed. Until then, I’m straight Nessian trash though~~.

#acotar #nessian #nesta #cassian #acotar theory #a court of thorns and roses #a court of frost and starlight

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birdiethebibliophile · 7 years ago

Text

{fic} Locked Up

Rating: G (no warnings) Relationship: Feyre/Rhysand/Lucien (Feyrhycien) Word Count: 1,983

Here on AO3.

Summary:

In which Rhys steals things, Tamlin's a dick, and Feyre and Lucien make out. Complete self-indulgent fluff.

__________________

“Rhysand, I am going to kill you,” Lucien hissed into the phone receiver.

“I said I was sorry, didn’t I?” Rhys said, not sounding very sorry at all. “Listen, I’ll pay your bail as soon as I can. Relax. Everything will be fine. I got this.”

“You’d better. You hear me, Rhys? You’d better get me the fuck out of –” Lucien swore violently as the phone went dead. “Fine!” he snapped at it, knowing Rhys couldn’t hear him anymore. “Be an asshole! Let me rot in here! See if I care!” And he slammed the receiver back into its cradle.

Stupid old-fashioned phone. Stupid hick jail. Stupid boyfriend who didn’t bother to let him know his fancy car was stolen.

“Done in there?” It was the sheriff – his name badge said Tom Lint – watching Lucien’s every move. Even more hick than this hick town, with his blond hair and his belligerent attitude and his blustering, as if he’d punch Lucien’s lights out if he set so much as a toe out of line.

“Guess so,” Lucien snarled, storming past the sheriff and into the holding cell himself. In retaliation, the sheriff slammed the door so hard that Lucien fell backwards. Then Sheriff Lint stalked off in a huff.

“Whoa. Careful, there.” Lucien yelped as someone caught him before he could hit the concrete floor and set him on his feet.

“And who are you?” he sniped, brushing dust off his sleeves.

“The name’s Feyre.” Lucien turned around to face a young woman with a spattering of freckles, brown hair coming free from a braid, and a frown. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest. “And you might say thanks.”

Lucien gave a grunt that might be interpreted as such, and sat down against a wall. “Lucien. What’re you in here for?”

“Petty theft.” Feyre sat down on the edge of one of the cots stuck haphazardly into the cell and gnawed on one of her thumbnails. “Cops caught me red-handed. You?”

“Implicated in car theft,” Lucien said, another stab of frustration shooting through him at the thought. “Because my idiot boyfriend thought it was a good idea to give me a stolen car. God. I could kill him right now.”

“I need to get me a boyfriend like that.” Feyre snickered. “He gave you an entire car?”

“A stolen one,” Lucien reiterates. “A fact about said car I was not aware of until I was pulled over in this hick town and arrested for possession of stolen property.”

“Was it a nice car?”

“Fancy. Went really fast. Rhys spray-painted a silhouette of a naked woman on the back bumper. I was taking it out for a joyride down the coast.”

“He sounds like a real charmer. Bet you could turn him in and they’d let you go.” Feyre spat the offending fingernail onto the floor and laid back on the cot.

Lucien snorted. “Not only do I not want to turn my boyfriend in, you think that asshole who threw me in here would just let me go?”

“Huh?”

Lucien held one of his deeply brown hands in front of Feyre’s face and wiggled the fingers.

“Oh, yeah.” Feyre let out a gusty sigh. “I’d still rather be in your shoes. This is the third time I’ve been arrested. Don’t think I’m getting off on a few hours of community service this time.”

“You’ve been caught stealing shit three times? You’d think you’d have learned.”

“Fuck off,” Feyre snapped. “Some of us don’t have rich boyfriends to give us Lamborghinis. Some of us are trying not to starve.”

Lucien fell silent. “Sorry,” he said at length. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“I have people to support. They probably think I’m dead. Not that they’d care.”

“Oh, come on. I’m sure that’s not true,” Lucien protested.

“Trust me. It is.”

“And you don’t have a boyfriend coming to pick you up, a pretty girl like you?” Lucien persisted. He wasn’t sure whether he was trying to make her feel better or make her punch him. Either one sounded appealing right at the moment.

“Just the sheriff, who’s been hitting on me nonstop since he tossed me in here,” Feyre said with a grimace. “Kinda glad he arrested you too. Now if he tries it again I can shove you at him instead.”

“Who, Pocket Lint?” Lucien grinned. “I can flirt with him, if you want. Make him as uncomfortable as he’s making you.”

“Seems a little like playing with fire.”

“Hey, I’m already in the frying pan,” Lucien said. “Besides, if he touches me, Rhys will kill him.”

“Who is this boyfriend of yours?”

“Pretty sure he’s a mob boss. Never actually asked outright,” Lucien admitted. “But he once literally shot someone for hurting me.” He pointed at the scar over his eye. “So, like, I’ve always assumed it’s something like that, what with the stolen cars and the briefcases of cash and the shotguns.”

Feyre whistled. “You live a wild life.”

“Sounds like you could use a bit more of that,” Lucien said casually. “When we get out of here, want to come with?”

Feyre’s face turned a blotchy red. “I can’t. My – family. There’s nobody to take care of them but me.”

“I bet Rhys could help with that. He’s loaded. If you really wanted to go to NYC. You could live with me. I have a penthouse on 5th Avenue.” Lucien’s eyes swept over her in a quick motion. The blotchy blush of hers was actually pretty cute.

“Overlooking Central Park?” Feyre said, her defensiveness melting a little.

Lucien grinned, then joined her on the cot. “The very same. Rhys pays for it – I would never be able to afford something like that on a secretary’s salary. Gave me these, too.” He hooked his long, kinky hair behind his ears to display diamond studs. “Don’t tell Pocket Lint, but they’re probably stolen as well. Rhys loves giving stupidly ridiculous gifts. I hate it.” Well, he didn’t really hate it. Only occasionally, when the gift was a little too overtly sexual or a little too illegal. “I’m going to have to have a talk with him about not giving me stolen shit. I don’t want this to happen again. Though,” he added, as if an afterthought, “I met you. So it’s not all bad.” And he gave her the smirk that always made Rhys melt into a puddle.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” Feyre said, suddenly all stony stares and prickles once again.

“No,” Lucien hurried to say. “Of course not. That would be –”

“Too bad,” she interrupted. “’Cause it’s working.”

Lucien blinked. “Really?”

She grinned. “Really. Though I have to wonder what your boyfriend would say about it.”

“Oh, I don’t think he’ll mind,” Lucien said, imagining Rhys’s face when he met Feyre. He couldn’t decide whether it would be more satisfying if Rhys fell head-over-heels for the girl or if he was utterly shocked and slightly annoyed with Lucien. Either way, he wouldn’t be mad. And Rhys deserved to be a bit annoyed, after this fiasco. Maybe that would make him think twice next time about accidentally getting Lucien arrested.

Feyre made a thoughtful sound. “You know what I bet would annoy Sheriff Pocket Lint even more than you hitting on him?”

“What?”

“Him coming in here to find us making out.”

Lucien’s expression blossomed into a smile. “I like you, Feyre,” he pronounced. “Would you like to kiss me?”

“God, I thought you’d never ask.” And then Feyre’s hands were tangled in his hair, her lips on his, hot and seeking. Lucien had the passing thought that perhaps she hadn’t been kissed in a while, because she was drinking in his lips like they were water and she was dying of thirst.

“Hey – hey! Break it up in there!”

Lucien grinned in delight against Feyre’s mouth. Sure enough, there was the sheriff, right on cue. Feyre ignored his order, instead throwing one leg over Lucien’s so she could sit in his lap and kiss him more thoroughly.

Lucien could hear the sheriff swearing, then, suddenly his footsteps receding. But he dismissed that little detail as unimportant compared to the fact that Feyre had just taken it into her head to start tugging on his hair, and that felt really good.

“Lucien Kelly,” a slow voice drawled. “What have you gotten yourself into this time?”

Lucien jumped, pulled away from Feyre’s impatient mouth. “Rhys!” he said gladly. “Finally! Where have you been?”

Rhys examined his fingernails. “Bribing people, mostly. Driving. You’re lucky I was in the same state.”

“Oh, no. You don’t get to pin this on me. This one’s your fault,” Lucien said immediately. “Also, do I get my car back?”

“I fear I’ll have to get you another. One that’s perhaps slightly less stolen.” Rhys’s expression finally melted into the affectionate smile Lucien knows so well. “Who’s your friend?”

“Ah. Um, Rhys, this is Feyre. Feyre, this is Rhys, my boyfriend.”

Feyre swung herself off of Lucien’s lap and shook Rhys’s hand through the bars of the holding cell. “Pleasure to meet you. Hope you don’t mind me making out with your boyfriend.”

“Not at all,” Rhys said with an elegant flip of his hand. “You coming with?”

Feyre hesitated, glanced back at Lucien. “Well, Lucien did invite me. But my family, I can’t –”

“I can take care of it,” Rhys interrupted. “I owe little Lucien for getting him locked up.”

Lucien gestured encouragingly at Feyre, who finally turned back to Rhys. After another moment or two of looking conflicted, she nodded slowly. “I think… I’d like that. Does he really have a penthouse on 5th Avenue?”

“Overlooking Central Park,” Rhys assured her, with a twinkle in his eye that Lucien knew meant this girl had charmed him already. “If you stay there, one of the perks is that you can make out with Lucien whenever you both feel like it.”

Feyre scrutinized him, her eyes narrowing. “And you?”

Rhys swept her an elegant bow, looking very out of place in the dusty jail. “And I the servant to you both. We’ll see what else.” He gave her a cheeky wink, which made her blush blotchily again and Lucien groan and roll his eyes.

“Get us out of here first,” Lucien said. “And then we’ll see about any of that. You owe me, Rhys.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Rhys said airily, unlocking the cell with keys he’d probably stolen from Sheriff Pocket Lint’s belt. “Champagne and oysters on my yacht to make up for it?”

“You have a yacht?” Feyre blurted.

“Rhys, how many times have I told you to stop blatantly displaying your wealth to impress pretty girls?” Lucien scolded, walking out of the cell. “Feyre, ignore him. He’s intolerable.”

“Yeah. Stop showing off.” Feyre stuck her tongue out at him as she followed Lucien. Though from the way she winked at him, mirroring his from just a few moments ago, Lucien had a feeling they would be the ones who were intolerable before long.

“Well, we’d better be going,” Rhys said brightly, tossing the keys onto a nearby desk and leading the way out of the jail. “New York awaits us once more. By the way, Lucien, what were you doing here?”

“What, a guy can’t blow off steam in his stolen car once in a while?” Lucien said, offended. “Or maybe I knew Feyre was here and planned all of this from the start. Which one sounds more plausible?”

“Well, the next time you want to blow off some steam, take me with you to pay off any small-town sheriffs who might need paying off,” Rhys instructed.

“Come on, you two lovebirds,” Feyre said from the door. “You promised New York.”

“Coming, Feyre darling,” Rhys said immediately, and Lucien smiled.

Maybe he should get Rhys to give him stolen cars more often.

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acomaf #acomaf fanfiction #feyre x rhysand x lucien #feyrhycien #feyrhycien fanfiction #fluff #m/m/f #it's ridiculous and I love it #and I wrote the entire thing in the last twelve hours in a fit of inspiration #have at it #mine

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parchment-and-petrichor · 8 years ago

Photo

Look, publishing community. We need to talk.

About ten years ago, you let the Twilight series take over the world, and with it, naive young girls’ belief that overly protective stalker boyfriends were something to strive for. Since the series’ completion, readers and moviegoers alike have vowed to do better. We hoped to put these toxic ideals behind us with every conversation we had about the problematic nature of Stephenie Meyer’s books. We hoped in doing so, we could finally move forward to read and support more wholesome, meaningful content.

Yet somehow, you chose to invest your money in Sarah J. Maas, and unleashed a whole new, far worse beast upon the world.

Why are we still letting toxic romances dominate the YA genre? Have we learned nothing from the likes of Meyer at all?

Let’s take a step back for a moment. As with her first series, Throne of Glass, Sarah J. Maas set out to write another fairy tale retelling in her latest A Court of Thorns and Roses series. By the time Mist and Fury begins, we’ve all but cast the Beauty and the Beast pretence to the wind. In perhaps the most dull first third of any novel, Feyre is suffering extreme depression and PTSD following the trauma incurred at Amarantha’s wrath. I am wholeheartedly here for portrayals of PTSD in YA. In fact, I encourage it. And given how much of a non-entity it is in Throne of Glass following Celaena’s pre-series traumas, this almost seems like an improvement on Maas’ part. But not when it goes on and on and on for 200 pages. Reading about any protagonist moping in self-pity is a 50-page deal at most. I get we’re supposed to see Feyre’s lack of self-worth at the start of this novel. I get that her trajectory is clearly one of her realising her value and gaining empowerment. Fine. But you can tell that story in 150 less pages. Believe me, as someone who has opened a novel with significant scenes of abuse and trauma, I know what it means to cut back. It pays to trust your reader and rein it in sometimes.

Which comes to one of the most blatant transgressions Maas commits: her lack of editing. Sure, at this point, she’s kind of well-known for her signature long sequels. But larger word counts do not good writing make. This novel could have easily been a solid 400 pages without the faffing about she does in the beginning.

There are some books that really excel in being split into distinct acts. Separating segments via setting or plot shifts can really solidify the narrative, but Maas’ acts can be separated out according to isolated moments sliding along a scale of boring, great, horrifying, and dire. Which is not what you want out of a narrative arc.

I actually thoroughly enjoyed the middle of this novel. For 200 pages, it seems like Maas has begun to atone for all her grievous harm done in her previous works. She introduces some interesting female characters for Feyre to befriend. The friend dynamic of Rhysand’s council is easily one of the strengths of the series and I wish she could have introduced them by the end of the first book. Amren in particular is a fascinating character, who, for a hot second, seems like she might kick some ass in a dark, ruthless, gory kind of way. She and Feyre have a great scene where they’re given permission to go out on a mission and be badass. I was excited to see where this would go and I looked forward to seeing these new battle sisters doing some serious damage together. Unfortunately, there are once more, long interludes where Amren keeps herself locked up, decoding things while the others go out and do the exciting stuff. Until the climax of the novel, the best, most dynamic addition to the cast has been shafted. As are all of the female characters in this series.

Here’s the thing.

For the most part, I like the girls in this book. At face value, they’re great. Nesta, Amren, Mor, and Feyre could all hold their own in battle as easily as they could all have a slumber-party style ki-ki over wine together. But the patriarchal world they’re placed in does no favours for them. Maas’ faerie world is build up by patriarchal traditions, where the men are led by their territorial, violent animal instincts:

“What’s normal?” I said.

… “The … frenzy … When a couple accepts the mating bond, it’s … overwhelming. Again, harkening back to the beasts we once were. Probably something about ensuring the female is impregnated. … Some couples don’t leave the house for a week. Males get so volatile that it can be dangerous for them to be in public, anyway. I’ve seen males of reason and education shatter a room because another male looked too long in their mate’s direction too soon after they’ve been mated.”

This hyper-masculine tradition also happens to heavily feature treating women like commodities they can use and throw away whenever they like. Rhysand, a character Maas tries so hard to pass off as a celebrated feminist, even tells Feyre in the heat of passion that, “I want you splayed out on the table like my own personal feast”. Every single one of Maas’ male characters, including, and especially Rhys, is a product of this tradition. But instead of engaging with commentary about how toxic such a worldview is, Maas just lets her characters carry on in this reality without consequence, self-awareness, or rebellion against it, as can be seen by Rhys’ explanation of women’s place in the kitchen, and Feyre’s subsequent acquiescence to that role as Rhys' partner:

“It’s an … important moment when a female offers her mate food. It goes back to whatever beasts we were a long, long time ago. But it still matters. The first time matters. Some mated pairs will make an occasion of it– throwing a party just so the female can formally offer her mate food … But it means that the female … accepts the bond.”

This old-fashioned, dare I say, archaic misogynistic ideal is just treated as the norm, effectively cementing every other male fantasy writer’s depiction of patriarchal societies as the ultimate world-building feature of the genre.

I don’t know what Maas is thinking, but whatever it is, it’s not cute.

Why are we still putting fantasies set in patriarchal worlds on such a high pedestal? It’s fantasy! What’s more, it’s 2017! You can’t tell me it’s more realistic to write a patriarchal society than literally any other kind in a fantasy world. When Maas, a woman writer creating her own world from scratch, has the chance to do whatever she wants, this is what she gives us?

One of the most horrifying scenes in A Court of Thorns and Roses (which is also shockingly overlooked) is Rhysand drugging Feyre and turning her into his slave whore without her consent. Maas sweeps this under the rug with a quick explanation that is all justified to a.) save Rhys’ fearsome reputation among the other realms, and b.) protect Feyre from the horrors of Amarantha’s kingdom. Just when I thought this particular plot was given its much needed closure (shut it down, Sarah. Shut it down right now!), the slave whore plot rears its ugly head again:

“I had heard the rumours, and I didn’t quite believe him.” [Keir’s] gaze settled on me, on my breasts, peaked through the folds of my dress, of my legs, spread wider than they’d been minutes before, and Rhys’ hand in dangerous territory. “But it seems true: Tamlin’s pet is now owned by another master.”

“You should see how I make her beg,” Rhys murmured, nudging my neck with his nose.

Keir clasped his hands behind his back. “I assume you brought her to make a statement.”

“You know everything I do is a statement.”

The only difference is, Feyre’s aware and consenting this time. Still, the skimpy dress and incredibly graphic touching on Rhys’ part all in the name of creating a diversion isn’t good enough to justify his actions. Rhysand’s created a thinly-veiled excuse to once again, objectify Feyre, touch her inappropriately in front of everyone, and lay claim to her when she’s not his to claim:

“Try not to let it go to your head.”

…I … said with midnight smoothness, “What?”

Rhys’ breath caressed my ear, the twin to the breath he’d brushed against it merely an hour ago in the skies. “That every male in here is contemplating what they’d be willing to give up in order to get that pretty, red mouth of yours on them.”

…His hand slid higher up my thigh, the proprietary touch of a male who knew he owned someone body and soul.

His eyes on the Steward, Rhys made vague nods every now and then. While his fingers continued their slow, steady stroking on my thighs, rising higher with every pass.

People were watching. Even as they drank and ate, even as some danced in small circles, people were watching. I was sitting in his lap, his own personal plaything, his every touch visible to them.

This isn’t romantic, this isn’t sexy, and it’s straight up not okay!

At what point did this series just turn into a horrific Princes Leia/Jabba the Hut smutfic? I know the only ones imagining what it might’ve been like had Leia been chained to Sexy McSexMachine instead of a giant blob are usually the pervy weirdos. Meaning no one in their right minds would want that mental image. Absolutely no one. In fact, the moment that image popped into my head, the final implosion of Rhys and Feyre’s sexual tension was made all the more cringe-worthy. There’s a reason Carrie Fisher spoke so strongly against Jabba and the gold bikini. She knew what it meant to be objectified, something Maas does not succeed in exploiting with Rhys’ choice to put Feyre in these skimpy outfits not once, but twice in this series. While yes, putting her in these outfits is ultimately a con-game, why should he be lauded for still playing by patriarchal rules in the first place? Shouldn’t the correct course of action be to break down those gender barriers?

All I have left to say about that is, I’m sorry, Sarah. You wrote that Leia/Jabba fanfiction. You made your bed. Now lie in it.

I suppose it’s about time to address the elephant in the room: Rhys. Oh boy… I don’t know how someone can pull together a character’s development so offensively, but Maas somehow wins the prize. He spends the entire first book as a lackey to the villain, doing the best he can to humiliate and emotionally manipulate Feyre. Now, we’re expected to believe he’s not only Feyre’s true love (oh, sorry… mate), but a feminist icon? I’m sorry. No. Did we already forget that he drugged her and made her dance for him in Leia’s gold bikini? It happened. I’m not about to let people forget it…

Readers fall all over themselves over him for coming to Feyre’s rescue when she begs to be saved from her wedding to Tamlin. On the surface, he’s set up to directly juxtapose Tamlin’s controlling over-protectiveness by letting Feyre do whatever she likes. Yet there’s still an unhealthy amount of Rhys manipulating situations in order to do what he feels is best for her. Not what Feyre thinks is best for herself, but what he thinks is best. Every single decision Feyre makes is based on Rhys’ influence. Nothing she does is for herself. By making Rhysand’s word law, Maas effectively strips Feyre of her agency, ironically, the one thing Rhys has attempted to help her regain in the first place.

What’s more, I don’t know who any of these characters are outside of their relation to Rhysand. They all revolve around him, because in Maas’ paraphrased words, he’s the most beautiful, powerful, strongest male in the kingdom. I honestly don’t need this overcompensation to make up for how toxic he is as a person. Not to mention, his male friends are nothing but carbon copies of him. Cassian and Azriel share his colouring and Ilyrian wings. I’ve seen plenty of fanart out there depicting the full cast of characters and I can never tell one male character from the another, nor one female character from another. The men (Azriel, Cassian, and Rhysand) are handsome and dark haired, the women (Feyre, Nesta, Elain, and Mor), beautiful and blonde. Again, the only stand-out is Amren, who is woefully underrepresented and poorly used in the novel. When you have a white cookie cutter template for every character in your patriarchal world, you’ve gotta step outside your box to deliver some diversity at some point. Otherwise, everything’s just vanilla with a side of racism.

If you think Rhys is the only male character abusing women in this novel, you would be dead wrong. Every single female character in this series has an honestly triggering backstory involving rape, whether emotional or physical. This novel is undoubtedly the sort of thing that should come with a warning. I’ve seen copies with warnings that the series is not suitable for young readers on the back cover, but it’s both irresponsible to then market it as YA, and not discuss rape and abuse responsibly. In fact, given how frequently Maas uses the rape card and how non-existent any discourse concerning the consequences is, I’d say this is a dire case of romanticising rape. And I’m tired of seeing readers obsessing over series like these en masse. It's doing nothing but perpetuating rape culture.

Mor in particular has a brutal rape backstory. This is made all the more upsetting by how eager her father is to sell her off to the highest bidder, and her desperation to lose her virginity on her own terms:

“I wanted Cassian to be the one who did it. I wanted to choose … Rhys came back the next morning, and when he learned what had happened … He and Cassian … I’ve never seen them fight like that. Hopefully I never will again.I know Rhys wasn’t pissed about my virginity, but rather the danger that losing it had put me in. Azriel was even angrier about it–though he let Rhys do the walloping. They knew what my family would do for debasing myself.”

“I wanted my first time to be with one of the legendary Illyrian warriors. I wanted to lie with the greatest of Illyrian warriors, actually. And I’d taken one look at Cassian and known. … He just wants what he can’t have, and it’s irritated him for centuries that I walked away and never looked back.”

“Oh, it drives him insane,” Rhys said from behind me.

What’s worrying here is that while the men are praised for playing the patriarchal system to protect their women, female characters like Mor aren’t shown the same respect for protecting themselves. Mor’s entire character arc is punishment for her female sexuality, kept completely out of her control. Not once does a female character speak out against her sexual abuse, nor do they seek justice for it.

In a recent interview, Maas has stated that she only writes sex scenes if they further the plot. When literally everyone’s backstory hinges on sex, whether consensual or otherwise, I find that doubtful. If there’s one positive thing i’ll say about Maas, it’s that i’m glad she’s leading the charge for sex-positive female characters. But empowering are these characters really, when they’re defined by their desirability to men and their past sexual traumas? Sure, Feyre has sexual agency, but what else does she have? Especially in a patriarchal world where this is expected of her, and she doesn’t even use this “power” to her advantage…

Look, I’m glad Feyre’s getting pleasured the way she wants it, when she wants it, and the detailed depiction of her sexual stimulation might help girls become more aware of their own bodies and sexuality. But when this is the highest profile series featuring female sexuality in the YA market right now, what kind of example are we really setting here?

Feminism doesn’t begin and end with sexual expression. It’s more than that and Maas’ characters have to join that fight. Especially given it’s one of the highest selling fantasy series in the market right now. Sarah J. Maas is not the feminist role model we need for this generation of girls.

We need more than this.

In short, I’m absolutely shocked and appalled that so many people blindly gave this book 4 and 5 stars. Even those who acknowledge how problematic Maas’ writing is. Is it really worth overlooking blatant normalised rape culture to call something your favourite series? As I said from the outset, we’ve already been there with Twilight. An entire generation of girls fell head over heels for Edward Cullen, a 100+ year old stalker who dictated Bella Swan’s ever action and motivation. Now, here we are again, encouraging a new generation of teens to swoon over this sexy, emotionally manipulative product of rape culture, without any acknowledgement of the consequences.

We need to do better. Starting with readers. Starting with authors. Starting with publishers.

It’s time to hold ourselves accountable for the content we praise and allow kids to read. Because toxic masculinity and rape culture are not values to uphold. We live in a world where the President of the United States can brag about grabbing women by the pussy without recourse. Where old, white men are constantly dictating women’s reproductive rights. Where women are catcalled in the streets and victim blamed for the clothes they wear. Where girls can’t even go out at night on their own without the threat of sexual assault.

Is this really what we want to teach our daughters, sisters, students, friends? That it’s okay, to allow passing men to objectify us, just because they have power over us?

Listen, girls. This is the thing: men have power over us so long as we give it to them. So long as we keep laying down and accepting that we’re weak and in need of defending, they’ll keep doing it. And people like Sarah J. Maas will keep holding to those gender expectations. They’ll keep defining romantic ideals based on hyper-masculine overprotective, possessive men.

It’s up to us to redefine romantic ideals. To tear down toxic masculinity and uplift healthy, equal relationships based on mutual respect.

Because you’re worth so much more than that. You deserve better than Rhysand. Align yourself with people who value you for who you are and not just your body. Listen to them when they praise you for your talents. Accept their recommendations when they stumble across media showcasing aspirational women rising above the status quo. You are more than just an object holding a man’s attention. You are yourself and you deserve the world.

Look beyond the smokescreen of Sarah J. Maas’ works and aspire to be something more.

#sarah j. maas #acotar #acomaf #anti-acotar #anti-maas #fantasy #feminism #YA #young adult #toxic masculinity #female sexuality #rape culture

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emthinks · 8 years ago

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A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J. Maas

No. No. What? No.

I don’t have thoughts. I do not comprehend. Give me a few moments (days, weeks) to gather the broken pieces of my brain. I shall be back.

Fair warning: Someone told me ACoMaF is like wrapping you in a warm, fluffy blanket and not letting go while EoS is stabbing you a thousand times with needles. I’d like to point out right now that that statement is false. ACoMaF can be a warm fuzzy blanket at first, sure, but one that slowly falls apart so just when you think you’re safe and okay, it freezes your ass off because it can’t protect you any longer. It betrays you.

Rating: 9.8/10

My Notes (as condensed from my iPad):

I start off and my first thought is: “wtf is going on?” Like, there’s a wedding? Feyre/Tamlin right? No. No. Like, five pages in and I’m reading about dresses and parties and Feyre saying how she wishes she’d one day learn to love her role as the blushing bride and all I’m hearing is no. Because Feyre is not, under any circumstances, just a pretty bride or the helpless princess. She is a warrior among her own right and should be treated as such, damn it. Wtf happened in that time gap between the end of ACoTaR and the beginning of this book? What the fuck?

And she’s not allowed to help? At all?

“Feyre Cursebreaker”. Huh. That’s new.

“I was introduced and passed around” like a fucking toy? Hell no.

“Alone in my bedroom, I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d truly laughed.” Jfc. Is it just me or does it sound like Feyre might be in a little – just a little – pain? Huh, Tamlin? Tamlin, who doesn’t give two shits and who doesn’t wake up when Feyre is puking her guts out every night? Wow, what a wonderful and supportive fiancé you are Tamlin. Would really want to marry you

Also, is it just me or does the first part of this where Feyre is trapped read a lot like Just Ella? Anyone ever read that? It’s about after the happily ever after of Cinderella. Except it’s not much of a happily ever after. That’s how I felt. Like this was just a really shitty happily ever after.

Also, hey, after three months Rhys finally calls in the bargain. Right during Feyre’s wedding. Good. Because Feyre sounded like she was so done with this right now. Except she’s so deep in denial, it’s kind of side. Also, like, Tamlin just gave up so easily – he just threatened Rhys a bit and called it a day. Like, no. If you really love her – if you really want Feyre – you should be fighting a little harder for your bride-to-be.

Hey! Feyre gets to learn how to read and write. “Rhysand is the best, Rhysand is awesome.” That’s hilarious. Also, Feyre is learning Occlumency. I’m literally getting flashbacks to HBP and Snape’s lessons with Harry. Fun, right?

Yes, yes, yes! We finally rescue Feyre! Yay Mor! “Not safe. Not protected. Free.” Hell yeah you are!

The Court of Dreams vs. The Court of Nightmares. Oh I love that.

Okay, idk what that whole prison scene shit was but it sounded a lot like Azkaban. But worse. Because these prisoners have been here for a long time. Also, the Bone Carve scared the shit out of me. It better not come into play later – Feyre shared one too many secrets with that asshole.

The whole Weaver scene was absolutely insane. Like, I couldn’t flip the (metaphorical) pages on my iPad fast enough. Feyre needed to get out. (Fuck you Rhys and making her fetch a ring.) Feyre has to get out. Go, go, Feyre!

Wow, this scene with Elain and Nesta went real well, didn’t it? Nesta, wtf? I thought you were supposed to be on our side?

Also, the Feysand training is basically Rowaelin training. Fae mates are just merciless, aren’t they?

The Summer Court bit was fun. A nice break. I like Tarquin. Tarquin is our friend. Also, going down to get the Book, I knew shit was going to go to pieces. There’s no way they’d make it that easy for us. And guess what? I was right

Wow, the mortal queens are assholes. Willing to abandon the island to save the continent. Fuck them.

Also is it just me or did the sex scenes read like fanfics? I’m not complaining, per say, just finding it…odd. Very well-written fics, but…fics nonetheless. Basically, what I’m saying is that Sarah J Maas’s original stories read like my favorite fanfics/authors and you don’t understand how ecstatic I am about that.

Like that throne room scene in the Court of Nightmares? Literally the sexual tension was through the fucking roof. It got so heated. Was expecting they start banging right there in front of everyone.

I mean, so were the cabin scenes, I guess, but that throne room. JFC. Combustion. I was in public reading this on iBooks on my phone and I was like so worried people would take the words out of context. That would've been awkward

Starfall scene was wonderful and beautiful and fluffy and feels

Okay, that journey to the Illyrian camp could’ve gone a lot better. Like, I thought everything was okay, right? And then Feysand go into the mountains to train. And who shows up but Lucien? Like, still convinced Feyre is brainwashed and here to “rescue” her.

And if that wasn’t enough, basically immediately after, we get Rhysand super injured because some assholes just shot him with ash arrows? Like, no. It’s Hybern. Ofc. Fuck them.

Okay, love how whenever Feyre has a question/problem, she just goes and traps the Suriel

They’re mates! Yes! I knew it! Thanks Suriel!

Okay, Feyre, wtf? Why you running away into a secluded cabin? All Rhys wanted to do was protect you.

But lol, Mor telling Feyre to paint her eyes next to Amren’s so they can all judge the boys is great. I love it.

Finally, finally Feyre just accepts it. God, you’ve been family for ages already jfc just accept it and can we move on please?

Okay, Rhys talking about he was dreaming about Feyre for years, even when she was mortal, and how she was all that kept him sane Under the Mountain was just heartbreaking

THEY SHOWED THEM VELARIS AND THEN THEY WERE ATTACKED

I know the nice queen warned them not to trust the other queens, but seriously? Velaris?! The only beautiful thing left in this fucked up continent? You assholes

“So I won my wedding ring without even being asked if I wanted to marry you.” Wow. Figures it would go something like this.

So the whole “let's go destroy the Cauldron” part sounded sketchy from start to finish lbr, so I was just waiting for something to go wrong

I just didn't anticipate it to be that wrong

First Feyre puts the Books together. Which. Idiot

Then Jurian shows up. I'm not particularly sure his storyline (am still confused about his history) to tell us that he's just been sent here to distract us

And then they shoot Azriel. And all I'm thinking is “Fuck they WOULD target Azriel”

And so they can't do shit. The most powerful people ever, Feyre with all seven court lords’ powers, Rhysand as the most powerful High Lord, Cassian as a ridiculously powerful Illyrian, Mor who was auctioned off as a bride because of her power – none of them could live a god damned finger. And I was SO worried

And then fucking TAMLIN AND LUCIEN STEP THROUGH

HELLS NO

I have to be reading this wrong. <Goes back to reread last line of last chapter> Fuck. No.

Fucking Tamlin is delusional and Lucien’s loyalties are ridiculous and you literally just let the dude who wants to destroy the whole world in through your backyard so it'll be easier for him to destroy your world, and all for what?

But noooo, we’re not done yet. The mortal queens show up

And we learn they've given up their whole world to be made immortal. Like, what?

And then we’re thoroughly fucked because Feyre’s sisters get dragged in

We learn that the King of Hybern can use the Cauldron to turn mortals immortal. And Nesta and Elain are the test subjects

(Keep in mind that I am reading this whole ending, starting from like right before they reach the Cauldron, in line at lunch. In public. And I couldn't scream or flail and it was torture)

Cassian’s WINGS. Omg I almost forgot. Cass no. He'd rather have death than not be able to fly Cass NO

I almost lost it - would've started crying had I not been in public – when they made Elain go first.

Elain comes out Fae, which, yay? At least she’s not dead. And she's immortal now

Nesta goes down, kicking and screaming and cursing the King of Hybern. And that line – that line of “I knew something was different”, I nearly knocked into somebody in line before me because I was so worried it would say she was dead

But she wasn't. Thank the Cauldron. Actually, fuck the Cauldron

But we’re not done yet. Not even close.

Because Feyre starts to say she's willing to do anything – give up anything – to those she loves. To save her sister. And – oh no – a feeling of dread starts to build up…

Feyre fucking manages to convince everyone that she was indeed under Rhysand’s spell and she's in love with Tamlin again. Like, no Feyre.

And if that wasn't enough, fucking Feyre asks – asks – the King of Hybern to break their bond. NO NO NO. We just spent like five hundred pages trying to make the bond are you ducking kidding me?

It happens anyways. And we’re sobbing right alongside Feyre. As she returns to the Spring Court with Tamlin and Lucien

And then we get a Rhysand PoV. And we learn that LOL actually, the mating bond wasn't cleaved. Just the whole bargain one. And also, LOL, Feyre can now be a spy for us. And also, LOL, we got married last night. And also, LOL, I made her the High Lady of the Night Court so fuck y'all fuckers

Tbh, that one Rhysand PoV at the end was my saving grace. I don't think I foul would've been as soothing if we heard it just from Feyre. I needed to have known that Rhysand was on board too, that this was what we had to go with

I mean, I'm still not actually happy with the ending, but it's (spoiler alert: EoS) still one hell of a better ending than EoS. Fml #savefeyre

“When you spend so long trapped in the darkness, Lucien, you find that the darkness begins to stare back.” – Feyre Archeron

The Characters:

One thing that I really loved about this second book was that we really got to see how Feyre grew, as a character and as a person and how she learned to fight. Like in the beginning, she was so helpless – or, rather, she thought she was helpless and should just subject herself to Tamlin locking her up, but then she runs away and starts training with Rhysand and it gets so much better. But not immediately, because that would be unrealistic. Instead, Feyre slowly learns about her abilities and what she can do with the powers of all seven High Lords, and it’s a slow process. Especially in the beginning. She has no control – she’s just been made High Fae, so it’s understandable. But to read about the trials and error she undergoes, how she learns how to winnow and how she works on her water abilities in the Summer Court because she’s near Tarquin and how she finally gets over Tamlin (mostly) and shapeshifts and it’s great. It really is. Feyre has become a bamf and I can’t wait to see what she can do – what she will do – now that she’s an official spy in Tamlin’s Court. She’s no longer going to be held down, locked up. Not anymore. Not this High Fae Feyre. Not the High Lady of the Night Court. No, if you upset Feyre – if you get on her bad side – you better pray to whatever god or Cauldron you believe in that she leaves and piece of you behind when she’s finished. She can defend herself now, fight for her own rights, and I think that’s so important.

Rhysand is not an asshole. What do you know? Well, I never thought he was a complete asshole, even in ACoTaR, because he was just subjecting himself to Amarantha Under the Mountain to protect his people, after all. But then in ACoMaF, we learn just how far he’s willing to go for his people. To protect Velaris. And honestly, Velaris is like a fucking dream. It’s beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to protect this city? And we learn Rhys has sacrificed so much of himself for others, to make those he love happy, to make sure his friends weren’t Under the Mountain and even initially giving up on Feyre because he just wanted her to be happy, even though if it meant if he’d be suffering for all of eternity. Like, Rhys, when have you ever done something nice for yourself? You should. When this trilogy ends, you better treat yourself good. I mean it. That’s an order.

Cassian is amazing. He’s so entertaining and fun and I love him. He’s like the jokester of the group. Except after hearing his backstory, you start to wonder why he’s the jokester. Why he’s so goddamned happy all the time and – more importantly – how? Like, Cassian’s childhood was shit. Azriel at least knew he was special and Rhys. I mean, with Rhys, everyone knew he was the child of the High Lord of the Night Court and thus his powers were through the roof, even if he was training with everyone else. But with Cassian. Oh poor Cassian. I felt so bad because Cassian was just a regular guy who just wanted to prove his worth but wasn’t allowed to and he had to go through so much and he deserves all the happiness he gets right now and and and his wings! I almost screamed when I read about his wings being burned off (or ripped?) and I can’t. He has to be fine. They have to be fine. They said an Illyrian warrior would rather die than not be able to fly, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t have Cassian dying on me. Nope. That’s not going to happen so you better buck up and get those wings fixed mister before I even get to ACoWaR.

Mor is Nehemia. But more badass. Like Nehemia fought with words and subtly, while Mor was in your face and you had to defend from that. Mor is great. I really wish Feyre had bonded with Mor more. (Wow, “Mor more”. That sounds weird even in my head while I’m writing it.)

Unlike Mor, I didn't know what to think of Amren for a while. She seemed okay. She's Rhys’ second in command so she had to be a good person, and capable. And then we learn more about her. About how she's not of this world – of how she's so fucking powerful, she's currently on a leash. (Rhys mentioned at one point to Feyre that if all else fails, he’ll find a way to unleash her powers on the world and kill himself first.) And she drinks blood. Which I did immediately think when Feyre saw her not eating, but I thought that would be too Twilight-esque. Apparently not. Still, she's not a vampire so I'm not particularly sure what she is. I want to know. I want to know what Amren really is, and I want to see her going full out and ravaging the King of Hybern. That would be a sight to behold.

Azriel is my kind of guy. He's silent but he's always present and he's so damn good at his job, it bothers him when he can't accomplish shit immediately. He's like always on call and he's just as capable as everyone else in the Inner Circle and it’s wonderful.,

Tarquin is freaking awesome. I really liked him. I didn’t think I would. But he was an idealist, a young High Lord, and he was like Rhysand. Except not as cunning. I think he would make a wonderful ally. And I think, if we just explain the situation to him, we could get him on our side, making him understand why we needed the Book. Also, side note, Tarquin sends giant rubies personally engraved as a sign of aggression. Like, sign me up please! Where can I get some of those?

Tamlin is a fucking bastard. There’s no nice way to put it. Tamlin is a bastard and I can’t believe I liked him before. Jfc. Did you have to ruin everything, Tamlin? Everything. He ruined literally everything. And for what? A woman who no longer loves you because you had locked her up, didn’t listen to her. A woman you didn’t treat as your equal. And you wonder why she wanted to escape so badly from you? Why she’s still secretly escaping? You are delusional and you are an idiot and I really hope you come back to us (because you’re hot) because otherwise, you’re going straight to hell, a grave right alongside the King of Hybern and Ianthe and Jurian.

Lucien is honestly not much better. Could be worse. Still doesn’t question Tamlin. Still doesn’t try to fight him. He knows Feyre is wasting away. He knows Tamlin is doing some dumbass shit. He knows. He has to know that Tamlin making that god damned bargain with the King of Hybern was the stupidest thing he could’ve ever done, but did I see him do anything? Nope. Just sobbing over a once-human mate. You’ll get what’s coming to you, Lucien, unless you convert too. I’m sorry, but I really have no pity for you. You’re not dumb, Lucien, nor blinded by love, like Tamlin can claim, so I don’t really understand why you aren’t protesting more – your protested more in ACoTaR when Tamlin wouldn’t tell you shit about the curse! Jfc Lucien I know you can do more, so I better see you step up your game, talk to Feyre, otherwise if she leaves you behind, I won’t protest.

With Ianthe, I really should've seen it coming. Because she was just such a randomly introduce character whom we had no background for, unlike Lucien, so we couldn't even see if she was semi-decent and she's complying with Tamlin’s every wish and ignoring Feyre and dressing her up and not an actually friend. One thing I'm glad this book did is teach Feyre who actual friends are and what they'd do for each other. Aka. The Inner Circle and not Ianthe.

“The issue isn’t whether he loved you, it’s how much. Too much. Love can be a poison.” – Rhysand

The Ships:

Feysand (Feyre/Rhysand): Is beautiful. They’re mates. I knew it! I predicted it ever since Rhys’ eyes went wide Under the Mountain. That parting scene. And it’s everything and more that I could want from them. Really.

Azriel/Mor: Is the saddest relationship ever. I don’t mean sad like Tamlin/Feyre said (that’s just messed up) or sad like there’s no chemistry. I mean sad like why the fuck haven’t they fucked yet? Like, Azriel doesn’t think he’s good enough or something, and I guess Mor thinks the same, because of what she had to undergo as a powerful woman born in the Court of Nightmares. Like, no. Literally, “Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars” should not be the best quote about your relationship. Please fix this. Please. Someone, anyone. Feyre? Rhysand? Amren? Cassian?

Nestian (Nesta/Cassian): it’s not just me, right? Like, this is an actual thing? I think they’re mates. I also think they’re going to tear each other apart before they admit that, but hey, it’s Nesta and Cassian. That wouldn’t be surprising at all.

Elucien (Elain/Lucien): These two are actually mates. And honestly, I think this could work out really well. Or really badly. Like, Elain is the one who was engaged to an anti-faerie guy, but Elain is also a lot nicer. A lot less strong-willed than Nesta. So as long as Lucien isn’t an ass – which, honestly, he seemed just shocked – we should all be good with this pair. They seem like they’ll be cute.

Tamlin/Feyre: Is someone seriously still questioning the shipping dilemna? There isn’t. Tamlin is an ass and it’s Feysand all the way and if you aren’t Feysand that’s some fucked up relationship you’re behind right there. I’m not about that shit, sorry not sorry.

“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.” – Feyre Archeron

My Questions:

Just what are the limits of Feyre’s powers?

Like, she has the power of all seven courts, all seven High Lords. Does she have a limit? I want to see her go full out. The Cauldron was practically singing to her. She would tear the whole god damned world apart if she mastered all seven courts. And it would be glorious to watch her do so.

Wtf happened when Nesta went into the Cauldron?

Like, Feyre said that with Nesta (in comparison to Elain) it was different. Did Nesta get more powers? Was Nesta’s grudge against the King of Hybern going to come into play.

Wtf is Amren?

I really want to know what Amren is. To see the full extent of her powers. Because she will decimate her opponents, especially without whatever leash holding her back that Rhys casually mentioned that one time. I want to see her go to town on the King of Hybern. She better. It’s the least she can do, after everything her friends have gone through.

“No one was my master – but I might be master of everything if I wished. If I dared.” – Feyre Archeron

My hopes/predictions for the future:

I finally get what #savefeyre means

And I wholeheartedly agree

Yes, she’s a spy, but she’s also your mate Rhysand. Go and get her back god damn it.

Also, it might be stupid and naïve of me, but I’m still holding out hope that Tamlin joins them.

I have slightly higher hopes that Lucien will understand. Or at least work with them (Feyre, mostly) because his mate has been taken. But I think Lucien understands and can sympathize better with Feyre in general, so I have higher hopes that he’ll really join their forces and work with Rhysand and see that the Night Court isn’t just a bunch of assholes

Oh, that’s another thing I want to happen: people seeing the Night Court as it truly is – a split between the Court of Nightmares and the Court of Dreams. People being able to see – and appreciate – Velaris (fuck those mortal queens. Fuck those bitches to hell. I’m with you on that Feyre)

Although, the Court of Nightmares does exist still, so I really hope that after everything is said and done and the King of Hybern and fucking Ianthe, that bitch, and the mortal queens and Jurian and everyone is disposed and taken care of that we can go back with Mor and Cassian and Azriel and sack the god damned place. And return the wonderful treatment Mor received during her time as a female in that underground

Another thing: Amren. Amren and her power. I really want to see what the fuck she can do – what her limits are

And Nesta and Elain! I want them to fight alongside Feyre & co. That would be ideal. And drag along Lucien.

“To the stars who listen – and the dreams that are answered.” – Rhysand

#emthinks #emthinks books #sarah j maas #sjm #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of mist and fury #acomaf

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hellas-himself · 6 years ago

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Ch.2 Azrielito’s Favorites

Chapter 1

After the death of his father, Azriel is forced to go back to the one place he swore he’d never return to. But he finds himself quite literally face to face with his past, one that he had not let himself think of since he’d left.

Ch. 3

As I set my bag on the counter in my kitchen, I called Rhys on speaker.

“How did it go?” he asked by way of greeting.

“Not too bad.”

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah… I’m okay.”

“You sure you want to come back tomorrow?”

I sighed, looking at my kitchen sink. My perfectly working kitchen sink.

“Would you mind me working from home? At least until the holidays are over?”

“Going to celebrate Christmas? Mom is going to flip when she hears this.”

“No, asshole. Don’t you dare get her hopes up. But I’ll see her on New Year’s.”

Rhys sighed. “At least.”

“How’s Feyre?”

“She almost killed me this morning. I ate the last slice of pizza last night and she woke up looking for it.”

I chuckled. “Is there a sty in your eye?”

“Absolutely not! I ordered her two pies and I stood home today to make up for it.”

“Have you guys told mom yet?”

“Saving it for Christmas.”

“You’ll record it for me, right?”

Silence. I heard him tapping his fingers against something. Probably his desk. I had always spent Noche Buena with my mother and Christmas morning, I’d go back home to Rhysand’s parents. Once she died… I couldn’t handle it, so I stopped celebrating altogether. I knew our mother didn’t deserve it- but it hurt too much.

“Yeah, Az, I’ll record it. We’ll see you New Year’s, then?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, I gotta go. No one told me morning sickness actually happens any time of day.”

I winced. “Take care of her, Rhys.”

“Love you, Az.”

“Love you, too.”

I set my phone on the counter and walked to the door that led me to the garage. I grabbed my tool box and set it in the trunk of my SUV beside the tool box specifically for my car parked beside the truck. I put my backpack in the back seat and after texting Elain, I went into the closet for my overnight bag.

Illyria was eerily quiet in the morning. My mother had always loved the watch the sunrise, even in this stupid cold weather. I parked the SUV beside Elain’s car and grabbed my tool box and my laptop case. She was taking an order when I walked in and she almost dropped her notepad. Trying not to smile, I walked to the back, taking the same booth I had sat in just the day before. I set the laptop case and tool box on the floor, pushing them against the wall.

“What are you doing here?” Elain asked, whispering rather loudly.

“Ordering breakfast.”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“I’m on vacation for the holidays, El.”

She stepped back, her eyes widened slightly.

“Your usual then?”

“Surprise me.”

That made her smile enough to show off that dimple in her cheek.

“Okay. I just finished the Mallorca. I’ll come back with some coffee, too.”

I waited till she disappeared behind the counter to get my laptop going. I answered emails while I waited. Feyre had sent an ultrasound picture and I felt a lump in my throat. ‘I miss you, pendejo’ was the subject line. That made me chuckle, at least. Feyre had learned every curse and insult in Spanish within weeks of dating Rhys.

Then there was the confirmation emails of everything I’d ordered last night. So far, everything looked to be in order. Once I saw Elain walking towards me, I closed out of the email, leaving my work screen up.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you, El,” I said as Elain set the mug down. The Mallorca looked… exactly how my mother made it.

“I thought you were on vacation?”

“Rhys and Cassian would lose their heads if they weren’t attached to their necks. Someone has to make sure things are running smoothly.”

Elain rolled her eyes.

“Well… It’ll get busy soon. I’ll leave the door unlocked so you can go upstairs and work there.”

“Thank you.”

She smiled and walked off. I had to force myself to look at the screen, not the notepad in her back pocket.

Of course, I didn’t work upstairs. At least not for Rhys. I started working on her bathroom sink. I unclogged the tub and put in a new shower head. I put a book under the one bad table leg in the meantime. I’d leave the chairs for last. I didn’t want anyone to hear me using a hammer. Her kitchen sink was a nightmare, but the parts would come in tomorrow. I couldn’t do much about her outlets, not without shutting the power off so I’d wait for the diner to close. I didn’t want to risk shutting the whole building down.

I was putting in a lightbulb in the kitchen when Elain walked in. I almost fell off the chair.

“What are you doing?”

“What my brothers failed to do.”

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“You didn’t have to.”

She made an aggravated sound and when I stepped down, she had her hands on her hips. I knew that face; defiant, proud.

“I can take care of that myself.”

“Yeah? When?”

“Hey, I don’t get free time to do things,” she said and I felt terrible then. “Besides, no one knows.”

“Cassian spends the night here.”

“Yes, to work. He eats downstairs.”

“Look… I get wanting to do things on your own… But I want to help. If you’re not gonna let me pay for my food, dejame hacer esto.”

She glared at me but then she sighed, her shoulders sagging.

“That’s not fair,” she said with a smile. “You know how much I love it when you do that.”

“I was counting on it.”

She laughed. “Just don’t tell my sisters, okay?”

“No one even knows I’m here.”

“And no more Spanish, you’re not sweet talking yourself out of anything else.”

“Is your car still unlocked?”

She groaned and walked out, making me laugh.

It was almost sundown when I finished with her car. It still needed a lot more work, but I had to wait. When I walked back in to the diner, she was wiping down the tables.

“Where’s Nuala?”

“I let her go home early. Dinner time during the holidays isn’t really busy. It’s usually breakfast and lunch that has me ready to throw in the towel.”

She laughed but it didn’t convince me.

“Do you take days off?”

“Not really… Christmas day and New Year’s yes. But that’s about it.”

“Want some help?” I asked. She smiled, wiping her brow with the back of her hand.

“Honestly, I would love it if you helped.”

I put up chairs while she swept up the floor, Elain smiling whenever she caught me looking at her. That’s how it always had been with her, but only her-

I washed and dried the dishes while she mopped, smiling as I heard her sing along to the music still playing. When we finished, she shut the music off and shut the lights off, leading me upstairs.

“Remember that one time Feyre and I went to Mor’s just so Feyre could stay the weekend with Rhys?”

“Yes,” I said with a chuckle.

“I snuck upstairs to where you were sleeping with Cas and we stood up all night talking.”

“Or that time Amren threw that house party,” I said and she laughed as she stopped at her door.

“We snuck off to get away.”

“With a bottle of whiskey.”

She giggled as she unlocked it.

“So… where are you staying while you’re here?” she asked, kicking off her shoes once we were inside.

“I hadn’t gotten that far,” I said, feeling my face get warm as I locked the door.

“You can stay here.”

“Are you sure?”

She yawned, walking towards the bathroom.

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Thanks, El.”

She nodded and closed the door behind her. I heard the sound of clothes being shrugged off and when she turned the water on, she screamed. I wasn’t sure what she said, but I knew that she was happy about the new shower head.

Elain wore fuzzy pink pajama pants and a white tank and grey cardigan when she walked out of the bathroom. She cursed the wood floor until she found her bunny rabbit slippers.

“What do you want for dinner?” she asked as she checked her phone.

“I’m not all that hungry… You did kind of give me three different plates to try for lunch.”

“Are you sure you liked them?”

She came to sit beside me on the sofa.

“If it wouldn’t make me sick, I’d have eaten all three and asked for more.”

“You’re silly,” she said, playfully pushing me as she turned the tv on.

“What made you want to buy the diner?” I asked, relaxing a bit in my seat.

She shrugged. “I’m good at it.”

“Good at owning a diner?”

“Yes. Out of the three of us, I’m the only one who can cook. You used to copy off my math homework so I mean… that has to say something.”

“I did no such thing.”

“Please. You passed algebra because of me.”

I laughed, feeling my heart beat a little faster by the way she looked at me.

“Alright… You win.”

She sighed, bringing her knees up to her chest. Her toe nails were painted glittery pink.

“It was one of the few places that had any good memories to it,” she said softly. She was blushing. “I didn’t want to lose that.”

I couldn’t look away from her. Her blush only deepened.

“So, do you mind sleeping with music?” she asked, changing the subject. “I can’t sleep if it’s too quiet.”

“I don’t mind,” I replied, waking up from my daze.

“You sure you’re not hungry?”

“I’m fine, El… I promise.”

“Hey Az?”

“Hm?”

Elain opened her mouth to speak but then just shrugged.

“Thanks… for the shower. And the sink. I’m sure I’ll find other things to thank you for, knowing you.”

“It’s really nothing.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

I looked out the window to find Elain staring at me.

“Your new radio came in.”

“What? Az- What the hell?”

“Your heat and AC works now. Fuel gauge is in working order.”

“How?”

“I went to the shop and grabbed what I needed because the parts weren’t getting here fast enough due to bad weather. But the radio got here this morning.”

“You had it delivered.”

“It’s amazing what expedited shipping does.”

I stepped out of her car and locked it. She made a face which made me laugh.

“What?”

“You smell like car.”

“Damn, I wonder why.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Go shower. I made something special for lunch.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t.”

She still smiled when she walked away.

Showered and dressed in warmer clothes, I went down to sit at the counter where Elain set a plate of pastelillos and other frituras my mother used to make.

“You made this?”

“Yes. I remembered how much you liked them on Fridays after school.”

It took me a moment but… “I had practice, right?”

“Like most days. But Friday was also your mom’s day off. She made them every week without fail. Except that one time you had a stomach virus and-”

“Yep,” I said quickly, not wanting her to retell the details of that weekend. “I remember now.”

She laughed. “Do you want a malta? I’ve got some in the fridge and some in the pantry.”

“Cold would be great, El.”

With a smile, Elain disappeared into the kitchen. When she came back, she used the end of her shirt to twist the cap open. She shook her hand after.

“Hey, so, I have to go food shopping after work. Do you want to come with?”

“Sure,” I said as best I could with a mouth full of food.

“How is it?”

I smirked, taking a sip of my drink.

“If I didn’t know your parents were snotty rich white people, I’d think you were as jibara as I am.”

She laughed. “Your mom showed me how.”

“When?”

Elain looked away, her cheeks turning pink.

“When you moved away.”

“Oh.”

“It was fun. I almost burned the kitchen once.”

“You went to my father’s house?”

She shook her head. “Your mom would come over to my place or we’d meet here.”

“I didn’t know that.”

I felt horrible.

“Yes, well, Azriel,” she said, now looking at me with a sly grin. “You’re not the only one who keeps things to himself.”

“I do not.”

She smirked.

“I’ve seen you maybe a handful of times since you moved away and then… Well, you fell off the face of the earth. If it hadn’t been because Feyre posted that picture of you and Cassian passed out on her sofa last summer, I would’ve thought you completely lost.”

“She did what?”

Elain cackled.

“Enjoy your lunch Mister-I-Don’t-Use-Social-Media.”

Feyre sent me the picture after I texted her about it. When I asked if she’d done this before, I told her not to answer when I saw how long it was taking her to respond.

Elain bought so much food it took me two trips to carry it all up to the apartment while she put it away.

“Plan on feeding an army of Illyrian assholes?” I asked when I locked the door; now with a chain, a dead bolt and the lock on the door itself.

“No, stupid. Noche Buena. Christmas morning breakfast. And don’t forget New Year’s and Dia de Reyes.” Her Spanish was… perfect.

“You celebrate Reyes?”

Still. She still celebrated it even after I left. I’d told her about it and for a few years, Elain would leave a shoe box full of random little gifts at my house. That wasn’t how it worked, but it was probably the sweetest thing to look forward to every January.

“Well… I spend it alone so I’ll get Nuala something. Or Lucien and Vassa. But they usually go visit his family. And with her pregnant, Helion is coming here. To town. Not here, as in my apartment.”

“Where am I putting this?” I asked, holding the enormous pig shoulder in its bag.

“Put it in the fridge for now. I have to season it. Which reminds me,” she said as she got up from where she’d been sitting on the floor putting the bags of rice and flour in the bottom cabinet. “I have to make sofrito tonight. Want to help?”

“Of course.”

“Good. You’re the only person who can tell me if I’m making it right.”

Sure enough, Elain handed me a little notebook and it felt like I’d been hit in the gut. Every recipe, every little note, even grocery lists- all in my mother’s hand writing. There were some high lighted and in bold letters listed as ‘AZRIELITO’S FAVORITES’.

“I’m sorry,” Elain whispered, gently prying the book from my hands. When she held my hands in hers, I realized there were tears in my eyes. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. Just caught me off guard.”

“Still.”

Elain was the only person beside my mother who could touch the scars on my hands and not leave me feeling sick. I didn’t recoil. Rhys made sure my job involved as little human interaction as possible… I could shake hands. I’d gotten into fist fights more than I’d ever want Elain to know. But the way Elain brushed her thumbs over my skin, the way she looked at me- no one else did this. I trusted no one else.

“You can keep it,” she whispered. “I know them all by heart.”

“No, that’s yours. I have what she wanted me to keep.”

“What did she leave you?”

I shrugged. “I never looked.”

Elain sighed, kissing both of my hands. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. I’d walked away from her and here she was… as if I’d never left.

“Come on. We’ll finish faster if we work together.”

I wasn’t thinking when I pulled her in my arms, but Elain sighed with relief. She wrapped her arms around me and it dawned on me that I hadn’t been this close to anyone in ages.

“Want to go see the lights tomorrow night?” she asked as she put the last of the sofrito in the freezer.

“They still do that?”

“Yes. And I need to get a tree.”

“A tree?”

“My old one broke and I haven’t had time to get one. Emerie said she has a few still. I think if we leave right after I close the diner, I can get one.”

“And if you can’t?”

“You’re good with an ax, right?”

“You have to be in my line of work.”

Elain gaped at me which only made me laugh.

“You’re horrible!”

“I’ll remember that when you have no tree.”

She scowled.

“I’ll just take one from Lucien’s house. They have like three living rooms. They can live without one tree for a few days.”

I stopped laughing.

“What?”

“I’ll cut every tree from here to Velaris before I see you bringing anything from Vanserra’s house.”

“Try to stop me.”

“I’ll go to Emerie’s first thing in the morning. I’ll even put the lights out front.”

Elain grinned. “Good. I really liked the red and gold ornaments.”

“Anything else?”

“Nope.” Elain walked off, and I knew that I’d walked right into that one.

So. We (Puerto Ricans) add ‘lito’ or ‘lita’ among others, as endearment. For example, Angel? They now are Angelito so in this case, Azriel is “little Azriel” which is something his mother would have called him.

Mallorca is a sweet bread we eat at breakfast or whenever tbh its yummy af

Pendejo is like... asshole? and in this instance, its all in affection lol

Dejame hacer esto means “let me do this” everything sounds better in Spanish imo

To my fellow Hispanic/latinos- do not come for me lol THEY ARE PASTELLILOS IN THIS HOUSE. its like an empanada but smaller. sometimes filled with cheese, or meat, or even guava! they’re divine. Frituras are fried foods. It can mean just one kind or a platter of a bunch of them.

Malta is a malt beverage that has SOME alcohol in it but not here in the states as far as I know. we drink it all day, at any meal. to my uterus owning friends, a warm malta can sometimes help with period cramps. no joke.

Jibara/o is what me and my family are called because we’re from the mountains. basically anyone in rural Puerto rico is considered a jibaro.

Sofrito is a bunch of herbs and veggies blended up and used as a base in almost all our dishes.

@dreamerforever-5 hope you enjoyed it!

#elriel #azrielitos favorites #elriel holiday au #dia de reyes

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