#dog neurologist

[petpetisy]

How Much Does A Dog Neurologist Cost Without Insurance in 2024? Answer is Really Shocking!

As a devoted pet owner, you might worry about the cost of seeing a neurologist for your dog. Without insurance, the price can be a big concern. But what exactly will you have to pay for a dog neurologist without insurance? Table of ContentsKey TakeawaysSeverity of the Pet’s ConditionType of Medical Services RequiredGeographic Location of the NeurologistExperience of the NeurologistWhat Do Dog…

[elvenferretots]

A six hour ride in the crate, and he's able to zonk out in his travel cage in the busy hotel in minutes. This is what makes it worth it to take the time to appropriately socialize and crate train more than just dogs.

[golden-girl-daisy]

It’s her last full day today. 💔

[mandana-the-service-pup]

My appointment card for the neurologist was wrong and the apt is actually today 🙃

Mandana is staying home for this apt so we’re getting some snuggle time in now. I’ve never met this doctor. He could be very helpful or he could gaslight me and be dismissive. Yay.

[whoslaurapalmer]

related: most of my life is me going 'is this feeling my sinuses being stupid. is this a tourettes feeling. is this a panic and anxiety feeling' and I must inform you it is usually all three at once. they ALL make me panic!!!!!!!

[orphiclovers]

fave yjh moments from yoo mia side story:

he can't drive. we know this as he is driven to work by his manager(s) and takes a taxi home.

he reads a lot of parenting books. also visits parenting forums and worries about raising yoo mia correctly

his Thing about food. it's one third eating disorder, one third paranoia and one third genuinely seeing the world through a lens of food metaphors.

shin yoosung looks him in the eye once and he immediately thinks thats the nicest anyone's ever been to him.

compulsively reads hate comments about himself. says it doesnt bother him when it very clearly does.

the obvious brain damage he isnt acknowledging. constantly tormented by visions (seizures + hallucinations). has both long-term and short-term memory loss issues. experiences a whole ass psychotic break. hes like that dog in a burning house comic saying this is fine. yoo joonghyuk go to a neurologist im begging you!!!

[thebibliosphere]

So, I found a b2 supplement I can take and not react to the fillers (Thorne brand, not sponsored), and after taking it for a month, I've noticed it does seem to have an effect on my migraines.

I'm still getting 1-3 migraines a month when my hormones fluctuate, but I have noticed a significant reduction in pain since I started taking the b2. Brain fog is still a nightmare (see Migraine Daddy post 😂), but the pain is more of a normal headache and not dropping me to the floor.

Supposedly you don't see significant results until you've been on a high dose of b2 for about 3-4 months (my neurologist suggested 400mg), but given that I am actually deficient in b2 thanks to my MCAS, fixing the deficiency seems to be helping by itself.

So who knows, maybe in a few months, I'll see better results.

I know I really need to be taking a methylated B complex at this point, but they all have biotin in them, and any increase in my biotin intake just makes me sick as a dog. I thought at first it was because it was a histamine liberator, but so is methyl folate/folic acid and I've been able to tolerate that okay. Idk. Bodies are weird.

[doberbutts]

@corvus--caurinus

Yup! Per my neurologist, before the mid/late 00s the medical community was sort of, uh, unconcerned about so-called "minor" concussions, because the symptoms didn't seem to last longer than a few seconds and thus it was treated as a non-issue. Most parents didn't take their kids to the doctor for them and the few who did were told to let the kid rest for a day and then get back to life as normal.

Then a breakthrough study happened and revealed there is no such thing as a "mild" concussion. All concussions are concussions and all concussions are brain injuries. And all concussions run an exponentially higher risk of increasingly dangerous and life-affecting symptoms as you knock your brain around more and more. And with each subsequent concussion, you run the serious risk of these symptoms becoming permenant brain damage. Turns out, your brain does not actually like to be jumbled around in there, who knew.

The white flash is usually caused by one of two things: a jarring motion in your retinas (not a concussion) or the impact of your brain banging against the fluids and other matter inside of your skull (that's a concussion). Same if you "see stars"- the "stars" are the damaged nerves that just banged into something firing off electrical impulses trying to figure out how to cope with what just happened. And of course if you hit your head or are shaken to the point of losing consciousness, that's your brain's equivilant of the computer that, when smacked, turns itself off. All of these are concussions, and while it may seem like knocking yourself out should result in a worse concussion than just seeing stars, brains don't always follow that rule. All of these concussions will eventually stack on top of each other and will cause a major TBI once you hit your head a little too hard or perhaps even just one too many times.

So when he said "okay so you were never *treated* for a concussion but have you ever had this happen after hitting your head?" well... yes, actually. I was hit in the head by a thrown baseball bat (accidentally) in gym class and promptly took a nap. I was awake and otherwise fine in a few minutes so besides being sent home that day and having a large bruise/egg nothing really happened. I was doing flips on the gymnastic bars and lost my grip and whacked my head against the ground and, you guessed it, was unconscious. By the time my friends got the recess teacher over I was already awake and just a little dazed- again they sent me home but that's it. I fell through one of those dome monkey bars at a playground with my mom and hit the ground head/neck first. This was before the age of cell phones so Mom told me she was trying to figure out what to do about her very unresponsive child in the middle of the park (it's dangerous to move someone who may have broken their back/neck but she also can't just leave me laying on the ground to knock on someone's door to call 911) when I woke up and outside of a stiff neck seemed "quiet but fine".

In fairness according to my neuro there's not really much a doctor *could* have done medically as I bounced back without any problems except maybe have me take it easy for a couple weeks (I'd've died of boredom with no stimulation) but it still should have been noted that each of those were concussions. Then the amount of times that I've been dazed or saw lights... too many to count. I work with high energy dogs in an impact sport, they headbutt me or punch me or knock me to the ground all the time. I was an active kid and an athlete prior to my heart acting up, so sport-related injuries just sort of come with the package and that includes knocks on the head.

But sitting in his office and hearing him say that, and then recovering from the TBI and examining what it's done to my life... it made me realize how much people take for granted. It just takes one too many knocks on the head. He said the major thing he regrets as an older neurologist is that for a very long time, most of his practicing career and certainly a significant portion of my own life, no one really cared about concussions. But the line between concussion and TBI is very blurred, because in truth a concussion *is* a brain injury, and at some point you will concuss yourself much much worse than you were expecting due to the buildup of damage from not taking hitting your head seriously.

The best way to think of it is breaking your ankle. A broken ankle is a broken ankle, there's no such thing as a "mild" broken ankle. But there are grades of severity- a hairline fracture on a single bone is a broken ankle, but recovery time and process are relatively straightforward in most cases. Completely shattering multiple bones on the other hand significantly lengthens recovery time and the process is significantly more involved with a risk of further complications. If you keep doing whatever it is that gave you a hairline fracture, one day you won't be so lucky, and you will completely shatter the whole joint assembley.

That's how concussions are. Those cute little knocks that cause a white flash and nothing else? That's a warning to stop doing that and be more careful. You get to hobble around in a boot for a while to think about your choices leading up to this point. Knocking yourself out? Well you've snapped a bone. You get a cast and some crutches. Full blown TBI? Congrats, the whole ankle is fucked and you need major surgery now.

[aropride]

apparently at the end of my dog's last neurology appointment she saw like several of the neurologists crowding around the one way window to look in the room bc they all wanted to see him. my boy's famous... he's a star...

[brettanomycroft]

Signals from Somewhere Else

After episode 22 of Protocol, there’s one thing (okay, maybe two things) that everyone is going to be talking about. But I don’t want to talk about that thing (yet. Okay, I lied, it might come up). Instead, I want to dive into some of the implications of this week’s case and how they might relate FR3-D1 [Error], and even Isaac Newton.

Spoilers for TMAGP episodes 21 and 22 below the cut. CW: we’re gonna talk about the brain stuff; probably overuse of the words “fleshy” and “wet” by I blame AJN for that.

Our case in this episode, graciously recounted by Peepaw Augustus, focuses on real-life German psychiatrist and neurologist Hans Berger, whose work led to the invention of the EEG and furthered our understanding of how brainwaves work. The experiment described in the case mirrors actual experiments that Berger completed while working at the University of Jena, including experimentation on a subject with a deformity that allowed easy access to the brain and the placement of silver wires under the scalp to measure electrical activity. Even Berger’s disappointing initial results seem to be in line with history.

Like in real life, the cosmic horrors of this case begin when Berger takes a little depression nap.

The description of “an ocean, deep and unforgiving… full of dark secrets” creates a striking image to be sure, but what’s more interesting to me here is what he recalls next: the “radio signals, invisible and unknowable.” Berger laments that it’s a “shame these two things would never meet,” and then proceeds to enable such a thing to happen, whether he realizes it or not.

He wakes up and is immediately “inspired” to alter the setup he is using to record Herr Schmidt’s brain activity. While Berger is unable to explain how he came up with the idea (we could tell him: it was The Horrors, bud), he transforms his recording device (an early version of an EEG) into a two-way wireless telegraph, using poor Herr Schmidt’s brain as the receiver for the very radio waves that, perhaps, were never meant to make contact with the world below. Berger sent a politely phrased request into the void, and the void screamed back.

Who or what was on the other side can only be guessed at. Was it John/Martin/Jonah, individually or Frankensteined into some horrid chimerical conscience (please read this great post and have your heart broken like me)? Was it The Fears of the Archives-verse, recombined and tossed about like naughty pears in a pear wiggler? Or was it something or someone else entirely? I’m leaning towards JMJ, in parts or as a whole, specifically because I suspect that Hans Berger’s strange (and wetly explosive, thanks Alexander J. Newell) discovery provides a clue to how [Error] and possibly FR3-D1 operate.

Let’s start with [Error]. Here’s what we know about them so far:

They were locked up in tunnels or a basement space under the Archivist’s office at the Manchester Magnus Institute

Something about them causes people, dead and alive, to recount their fears or horrible things that have happened to them (I am not using the word compel here, even though it is used in the transcript for episode 21, and that is on purpose)

They seem very invested in getting the entire story out (this is, admittedly, speculation, as it’s unclear as to whether “THERE IS MORE” is in reference to more victims or more of Gwen’s story)

They have some really weird dogs

I’ve seen a lot of folks speculate that [Error] is or was the Head Archivist in the Protocol universe, and I’ve also seen a lot of folks speculate that [Error] is or was John (and therefore also The Archivist). I think either of these could be true, but more than anything, I think [Error] is a high-powered antenna with the ability to turn the people around them into speakers. Or maybe Speakers? I do love a good capitalization.

What if the “esteemed brethren” of The Magnus Institute were all too aware of the unusual results of Berger’s experimentation, and hoped to tap into the unusual consciousness(es) floating around in the radio waves and ether of the universe by creating their own version? Perhaps they thought they could create a direct conduit (think almost like a psychic medium) through a person, someone who might be able to communicate with whatever is out there and be able to relay its/their esoteric knowledge to help further the Institute’s goals of “Universal Transmutation.” We know already that the Institute was interested in doppelgangers and perhaps alternate universes and that they had a lot of irons in the fire (the Millenium Dome, the gifted child programme, Welling’s Mutare Materia research program, the various outreach centres), so it would hardly be surprising if they were also experimenting in communicating with “the beyond” to try and gain more knowledge.

And maybe it worked. Maybe they were able to create or transmute someone into an antenna, capable of receiving these strange signals, except these mixed signals were too powerful and ultimately took over. Perhaps [Error] is the natural consequence of who or whatever was speaking to Berger finally getting “OUT.” And if who or whatever was speaking to Berger happened to include the fractured consciousness of a hungry Archivist, well then, we have an interesting case for [Error]. [Error], whether or not they were an/The Archivist in this universe, could now be directed by the desires of The Archivist, channeling The Archivist’s thoughts and abilities but with a power greater than that we ever saw in John (or, perhaps, the same power but completely unrestrained by his remaining humanity). Or [Error] could be channeling The Fears themselves, bringing parts of them through not unlike they were brought through in The Magnus Archives.

Either way, I doubt that creating a connection between whatever was out there and the physical world led to the results the Institute was hoping for.

[Error] is receiving the signal to feed, but the signal coming through is so loud and so powerful that instead of politely asking to snack on some horror stories, coming into contact with them instead allows them to pick up on a person’s horrible experience and forces them to broadcast it to the world. It’s possible that, upon creating [Error] or losing control of [Error], those at The Magnus Institute locked them up and cut them off from the dangerous signal they were receiving… Sam accidentally poking a big hole in the floor (and the alchemical signals inscribed in it) could have reestablished the connection between [Error] and the force guiding them.

Now let’s talk about FR3-D1. We know that FR3-D1so far is that it

Is a “bespoke” internet software developed sometime in the mid-90s, apparently designed to search the internet for spooky stuff

Has German source code

Crashes, constantly, much to Colin’s dismay (? Or maybe he’s helping those crashes along to stop it from listening in… but that’s a theory for another time)

Has, within the last year or so of Sam joining the O.I.A.R., started running a text-to-speech program that reads certain cases out in one of three voices, two of which are familiar to anyone who has listened to The Magnus Archives

Occasionally has some unusual .JMJ errors

Seems to be “targeting” Sam with specific cases related to The Magnus Institute

Is believed to be “listening in” by Colin, Alice, and Sam (which is supported by what we know as the audience)

Has been working “better” since Colin has been on mandatory mental health leave

May have some connection to the Stasi, the secret police force of Communist East Germany before the fall of the USSR

Is assumed (by us as the audience) to have some kind of sentience

There are some other items (notably the spreadsheets found in the ARG that appear to be from or connected to FR3-D1and the emails Sam and Gwen have received) that could be connected to FR3-D1 but have not yet been confirmed. Yet aspects of FR3-D1 do seem to share some commonality with [Error], namely a level of sentience and the ability to locate the stories of people who have had horrifying supernatural encounters.

My speculation here is that FR3-D1 and [Error] were both constructed using the same premise or with the same goal in mind: to receive and channel the signals of entities or consciousnesses existing in or coming from “Somewhere Else”: FR3-D1 through a supernaturally or alchemically conceived software program, and [Error] through a supernaturally or alchemically conceived transmutation on a living human.

If this proves to be the case, then the results seem… distinct, albeit with the potential to be equally dangerous. FR3-D1 is more “controllable” and could potentially be better able to separate out the signals being received, manifesting as “Augustus,” “Chester,” and “Norris.” Now these “three” could still be part of homunculus-esque JohnMartinJonah consciousness, but perhaps the computer program is a little more stable and delineated than the fleshy wet mess of the human brain, and therefore what remains of each individual consciousness is able to act more distinctly and independently. In contrast, [Error] (and their fleshy wet mess of human brain) is receiving the signals all mixed and jumbled together, with no failsafes to keep them from “overloading” or being entirely taken over by The Horrors or JMJ or The JMJ Horrors. Given their spectral descriptions, it’s possible that fleshy human brain and body couldn’t take it anymore and, pun intended, gave up the ghost.  

[Error] could be, in some ways, a bodiless, mindless soul acting on a confused mess of instinct and hunger; FR3-D1 is then, perhaps, the elevated mind, in (more) control but disconnected from a body and perhaps from a soul. Given the heavy influence of alchemy in The Magnus Protocol and the importance in alchemy of the number three, the Tria Prima, and the balance of mind, body, and soul, there may be a third entity we have yet to meet who, like FR3-D1 and [Error], are tuned into these signals from beyond and is eager to reunite with the rest… or perhaps FR3-D1 and [Error] are looking for a body of their own to inhabit and find balance (Sam, anyone?).

I feel like I myself am beginning to mix the signals I started with, but before I attempt to wrap this up, I do briefly want to throw one more piece of spaghetti on the wall, because I think it’ll wind up being something: the mention, specifically, of the silver wire the Berger used in his experiment.

It was Dr. Caton who recommended that Berger use the silver wire, as silver is known for being an effective conductor of electricity. Silver also holds importance as one of the seven metals of alchemy and as a possible base metal in the creation of a Philosopher’s Stone. Perhaps equally important here is that the Diana’s Tree, also known as the Arbor Philosophorum, is created using a solution including silver (or more accurately, silver nitrate) and mercury (one of the elements in the Tria Prima)… yep, the (sort of) same spooky tree created by Newton in TMAGP 19, where Newton gave his dog an existential crisis and Robert Hooke was like “burn it all down.” The conclusion we could draw here is that silver is used in both TMAGP 19 and TMAGP 22 to connect organic life to the unseeable Knowledge of some other plane… with potentially disastrous effects.

Whether it ends up being the case that FR3-D1 and [Error] are big antennas wirelessly receiving The Horrors or I’m totally off base, it seems pretty clear that Hans Berger “tuned in” to an unusual—and dangerous—signal, and what’s more, enabled that signal to connect with the Protocol world in a way that likely never should have happened.

[morganbritton132]

Re: the privacy issue

At any point does Eddie start to think about a bodyguard?

When Eddie’s touring, he has a bodyguard.

It was a stipulation that the label had when signing the band because at that point, they were pretty infamous for being run out of town. It turns out that the people with the loudest opinions about devil music are often the ones holding rocks, and they aren’t much swayed by Eddie’s dropped charges or his governor issued public apology.

“The label is investing with you,” CC’s first manager, Pete, used to say, “It’s about time you boys start investin’ in ya’selves and don’t get killed.”

So, they got a bodyguard.

His name was Daniel. He was the biggest guy Eddie’s ever seen, could take a punch like a champ, and never once realized in the two national tours and one world tour that half the band was queer. Corroded Coffin’s main hobby was seeing how quick they could ditch him.

Eddie has only brought getting a bodyguard off-tour a few times and each and every one of those times has ended in a fight.

Eddie brought up getting a bodyguard after he impulsively decided to come out publicly during an acceptance speech at the MTV music awards and paparazzi camped outside of their building. He brought it up when an overzealous fan pushed their way into Eddie’s orbit and nearly knocked Steve into the road.

He mentioned it after they got a letter in the mail with a picture of their apartment’s front door and a threat. He even suggested it after their move to the suburbs was met with the word MURDERER spraypainted across the front of their house, and it’s a fight. It’s an argument.

Eddie brings it up and Steve shuts it down. He is scrubbing red paint off the front of their new house and he tells Eddie, “If that’s what you need to feel safe than I think you should get one, but that’s not why you’re bring it up.”

“I still live here when I’m not here,” Eddie says back, spraying at the slur written on the sidewalk with the water hose. “Someone could come here looking for me and find you. Then what? Is it a crime to want to know that you’re safe when I’m gone?”

“What exactly do you think you’re going to do if you are here?” Steve asks and rolls his eyes when Eddie shoots him a look. “It’s not a crime, but I’m not being a prisoner in my own home to make you comfortable, Ed.”

It’s not said but Eddie knows the undertone in Steve’s voice. Steve doesn’t want a babysitter and Eddie’s never been able to make a good case of why a bodyguard is not that. The conversation tends to tip into an argument so he doesn’t press it further than that, he just cleans Chrissy’s name off their front steps.

Steve bumps his shoulder a few minutes later and tells him, “We have a friend that can explode someone’s head with her mind. If I need help, I’ll call El.”

“Or Nance.”

“Or Nance.”

Eddie hasn’t brought up getting a bodyguard in years but after the video at the neurologist, he thinks that there may be a case. Not for protection, but privacy. Steve laughs at him. He actually laughs and he asks, “So, what? We’re entitled assholes that smash people’s phones at the grocery store now?”

“When they’re taking a video of you crying.”

“Of course they’re going to take videos, Eddie. It’s going to be me, you, the dog, and Jim, the eight-foot bodybuilder buying a frozen pizza when you have munchies. That’s just more reason for people to be looking at us.”

[fatkish]

It is a medical condition but you eventually grow out of it, there is no need for a medical bracelet or a service dog but sometimes there is a need for checks up at the neurologist

It happens when youre stressed out or under big emotions or just in a room where is a bad flow of fresh air (like theres a lot of people in the same room)

I would prefer if you would write it when theyre (and reader) are students but do like you feel would be the best

(sorry for my poor english if theres some mistakes😥😥)

Bakugou, Shoto and Izuku x Fainting Spell Reader

Bakugou:

The only one who didn’t panic since he suspected that the reader merely fainted and brought her to the nurses office

Whenever people are starting to stress the reader out, he yells telling people to shut up

Would likely force Kaminari to go dumb if it’ll calm the reader down

Carries sound cancellation headphones that he’ll put on the readers head and plays music on them

If the reader misses class due to a spell, he’ll let the reader copy his notes from class

Shoto:

First time it happened he internally panicked thinking he somehow caused the reader to faint and thought he might be cursed

Carries a pillow on him at all times for when the reader faints

Always keeps an eye on the reader and uses his quirks to cool them down or warm them up

Carries water and snacks for the reader for when they wake up

Let’s the reader take a nap on his shoulder whenever they’re tired

Izuku:

First time it happened poor boy was freaking out and terrified

Went home and researched everything there is to know about the topic

Whenever the reader is in a situation where they might faint, Izuku pulls them outside and helps them calm down (even though he’s a nervous wreck)

Tries telling bad jokes to calm the reader down in stressful situations

Discreetly tracks the reader’s spells and notes down everything that occurs when they faint so that he can predict when they may happen

He has a separate notebook for the reader that he takes notes in for them

(Sorry if it’s short, I’ll be adding to it as things come to me)

[dailydoseofselfcare]

Things I have learned about epilepsy from my own experiences:

- does your head hurt because you had a seizure or because you’re about to have another seizure

- you get laughed at if you ask for non-caffeinated (non alcoholic) drinks basically everywhere. You have to make your own silly little drinks at home. Thanks Starbucks for giving me a caffeinated drink when I was very specific about no caffeine and then was laughed at when I asked for water. I had a grand mal seizure after that.

- “just go to a doctor! Go to the ER!” I got told last time I went to the ER that I was faking it despite having a diagnosed seizure disorder and then they billed me $2,000

- “go to a neurologist!” The soonest appointment is in 6 months

- well you’re just “emotional” I am having. Seizures. I am having grand mal seizures. I am not emotional.

- “why can’t you work? It doesn’t impact your life that much.” No employer is going to let me be brain dead most of the day from seizures, or call out as much as I need to for doctors appointments.

- “I think you’re just trying to avoid work and be lazy at home.” Do you know what I would give right now to be able to drive to the fucking store for some groceries. I am actively making Christmas presents already because I have nothing to do.

- “get a seizure dog! Then you can go places!” Please for the love of god do research on how much they cost and how often people with service animals are harassed. Also I still wouldn’t be able to drive.

I am fucking. Tired. Of this shit.

Reminder not to tag flashing things as epilepsy on this website.

[lupusbaby]

At my new neurologist. They have a dog with a squeaky toy. Wish me luck.

[cinnamonglaive]

worm bingo: SKITTER!!!

Ok so! I'm going to preface this with the fact that I'm an entomologist. Bugs bugs bugs, all the time. I'm not specifically an insect/invert neurologist but one of my colleagues is so I like to think I know a thing or two.

My theory is that when Taylor triggered it impacted her nervous system and brain in a similar way that Rachel's did. Rachel's humanity was partially overwritten with dog-centric thinking, Taylor's humanity was partially overwritten with invertebrate-centric thinking. Insects are wired to follow a very singular path to complete their job/mission, and their responses are limited as far as reactions to stimuli. There are some character attributes Taylor has that are shrugged off or otherwise interpreted by canon that I think are actually symptoms of neural re-mapping.

Taylor's high pain tolerance is one example. Pain, in simple terms, is a damage report attached to emotion. Damage is sensed by neurons, which pass the info up to our brains where we relate it to fear, stress, sadness, etc.. Insects don't feel pain because they lack sufficient neurons to have emotions. They sense damage and that's all it is, information. Insects are simpler computers than humans. When Taylor gets damaged (or dishes it out), she often processes damage in the same way: as a calm informational report. This could just be WB's narrational style, or Taylor's pre-trigger disposition, but I think it's telling that other characters, capes who see active combat, are routinely skeeved out by Taylor's lack of response to damage. Grace and Scapegoat come to mind, chiefly, though there's a few "JFC" moments from Charlotte and Sierra as well.

The other main way I see her as de-humanized is her difficulty in relating with other humans, exemplified most obviously in her relationship with Brian. She's 15 and has reciprocated feelings from her crush! They kiss, cuddle, fade to black... and the next day she remarks that it was 'nice' and gets on with her work. When I was her age if I had a similar experience I would have been thinking about it every other thought! I even had a rule in high school that I could only look at my crush twice a day, so she wouldn't notice (common me L) and it was a rule I had to remind myself of regularly. In contrast, Taylor only rarely thinks of Brian, she rarely describes other characters as attractive with any kind of heat behind it, and she certainly doesn't prioritize him (or any of her friends, really), over her self-imposed Mission.

This could potentially be attributed to the fact that the amateur sex was bad, or WB didn't want to write very much sexual content in his story about minors, but it just came off as Taylor not being very interested in her boyfriend. And THAT opens up a dialogue about 'is Taylor Hebert gay' (thread locked by a moderator after 12239 pages of heated debate) but really I just think she has a bit of insect neural programming. Information is recorded, sex is had, but the depth of the emotional experience is reduced.

And finally I want to know why she left the back of her mask undone, letting her characteristic mane of black hair flow out behind her. Why in the hell would 'miss practical' not shore that up when she noted it as a weak spot several times. My other issue: the rag skirt she made (during the end of Monarch, I believe?) that I imagine was ugly as hell and bad for movement during battle. What are we doing.

[oncamelliastreet]

depression rant <3

idk sometimes i would like for just one thing in my life to go well. like literally not even my playlist is working right now. 700 songs off of my 1200 song playlist i listen to everyday disappeared so i have to make a new one. and the new one is only showing up on my phone, not my ipad. and i can’t fix it.

and as much as i wish he was, i really don’t think my crush is into me too. i don’t think im likeable. im not pretty enough to attract anyone (girls aren’t even in the picture at school because it’s literally a catholic school in the midwest everybody is homophobic and guys either chose the prettier girls or date someone outside of our school). and even if i was attractive i don’t think my personality is enough. i’m too quiet and anxious at first for anyone to stick around and get to know me. there will always be someone better in comparison. and yk what even if i did manage to find someone who liked me back they would probably leave the second they found out im really not comfortable with having sex any time soon (if ever) at all. i’m just gonna die alone with my dogs while my sisters live their happy lives with their families.

and none of my friends even care about me outside of school. they talk to me when i’m in their classes but outside of school i’m not getting invited anywhere. and when i do get invited somewhere, like to hang out at my “best friends” house for example, her neighbor she’s friends with conveniently is coming over and she couldn’t figure out how to say no so they’re just talking the whole time and i’m just there in the background. or i’ll try to make plans and then they’ll cancel on me 30 minutes before they’re supposed to show up 4 times in a row. because their’s always something better to do.

and my head hurts all of the time and i went to a neurologist for it but i basically have to try a bunch of pills that almost definitely won’t work before i can get to the stuff most likely to be effective because the stuff that will probably help is more expensive and my insurance won’t cover it if i haven’t tried the stuff that won’t work and is cheaper. and i had a headache all day during my family gathering for my moms birthday because i used a shampoo that smelled a little bit and i felt like throwing up from it, and my mom had to wash my hair over the sink like a baby half way through the day because it was so intolerable.

and on top of that i couldn’t even get my mom a good present for her birthday because i dont have a job to be able to afford anything and i couldn’t go shopping with what little money i have because i dont have a drivers liscence and none of my siblings live close to home anymore so i had nobody to take me shopping. so everybody got her a really nice and thoughtful present and i got her fucking flowers because that’s the shitty daughter i am i guess.

and my dog has had a lot of spine issues because she’s a hot dog and they’re really prone to back injuries. and she’s been acting really weird the last week and i’m worried she’s gonna get hurt for like the 7th time. and it feels like nobody but me and my mom take it seriously because my older sisters will pick her up like it’s no problem even though every time she gets picked up a lot she gets hurt some time soon after. and my fucking grandma invited her to jump up on the couch when nobody was paying attention (she absolutely cannot jump on couches for the rest of her life, every time she does she gets SUPER injured) but i couldn’t say anything because she’s an old lady so i was just on the edge of a panic attack the entire day even though i just wanted to yell at her because she completely ignored us EVERY time she comes to visit. literally every time she’s here my dog ends up jumping on a couch and is hurt and crying in her bed unable to move days later. and it seems like im the only one who cares.

and on top of that it’s now one in the morning and i have to be up in 5 hours to take the psat which im gonna fail because im horrible at standardized testing and theyre online now which means i really can’t focus at all and im just a lost cause.

i give up trying atp.