#doesn't sound so cool to a depressed girl

[korebringerofded]

We Don't Talk About It- Zoro X FReader

Summary- It was easier to be casual, no strings attached with your fellow crewmate, but things get complicated. A/N- In the thralls of depression and managed to write something. No edit. No proofread. Rawdogging life rn. Don't judge me too hard. Warnings- Mentions of sex, fwb, cursing, reader is called 'my girl' by zoro like once, smut at the end, oral (f recieveing), Zoro has big cock, Zoro almost (but doesn't) kill an npc.

Reblogs, likes, and comments are always appreciated. All requests are open and you can find my entire masterlist here.

You wouldn’t necessarily say that your relationship with Roronora Zoro was complicated, you two agreed rather early on in your arrangement that it would be nothing more than casual sex, a heated passion of tongues and heat, hands desperately tearing clothes from sweaty bodies when the other felt that hot aching hunger that couldn’t go unsatiated.

Nothing more, of course. Just a fun and harmless way to let off steam. What’s the worst thing that could go wrong with fucking your crewmate anyways, right?

Nevermind all the times you would doze off in his arms, the ocean breeze ruffling his fuzzy green hair as you laid on his chest, all while your fingers easily traced along the sprawling scar across his chest. The whole time you lay there, all the famous sword-fighter can do is set your annoyingly cute face to memory.

You both swore it was casual, even when Zoro bought so many useless, pointless things, for the chance he would get to see your smile, hear the very laugh that kept him up at night. The way fiery rage would boil through him anytime he saw anyone flirting with you, touching you.

But of course, it wasn’t anything serious. Just casual, no-strings-attached, sometimes drunken, sex. Neither of you needed any distractions, after all.

Sure, maybe Zoro daydreamed about your taste, maybe he knew each and every place you liked to be touched. And yeah, maybe Zoro spent hours thinking about your lips on his cock, like you were his only relief, like he couldn’t cum without imagining your fucking eyes fluttering up at him,so glossy and wide, because fuck his own hand was incomparable to yours, no matter how many times he fucked his fist, it wasn’t the same as you.

But that was fine, normal even…right?

That’s exactly why you shouldn’t have cared, shouldn’t have felt a single thing as you stood at the edge of a crowded bar, the entire crew drinking and chatting and yet despite yourself, despite all the denial, you were noticeably distracted, eyes glued to the bar.

Zoro had (unsurprisingly) over-indulged, leaning against the bar with hazy and glossy eyes, a lazy grin on his face as a stranger, a young woman almost shamelessly flirted with him, a manicured hand trailing up his arm, probably admiring his toned muscles, the ones you had grown so used to, the ones you found yourself missing more and more.

You two weren’t exclusive, you had both fucked other people before and yet…that didn’t change the pang of jealousy that burned in your chest, spreading up and over your cheeks. You let out an audible sigh, making some vague excuse about needing air before pushing through the crowd and out into the cool, empty streets. You swallowed down the fresh air, letting the crisp breeze blow over you to cool your nerves, the heartache you chose to ignore.

You didn’t even need to look up to know who had followed after you, the familiar scent of sake and salty ocean air filling your senses, as Zoro leaned against the wall next to you. He was quiet for a while, the only sound on the near empty street was the festivities inside the tavern.

The entire time you could feel Zoro’s steely eye locked on you, his brows furrowed just slightly. He didn’t say anything, just occasionally glancing at you. You hated how it made you simmer, how much it affected you, even now. It all made your earlier frustrations bubble up as if they were fresh wounds.

You shot him a look, his tilted head, and slightly pink cheeks only making your anger burn and brew in your chest.

“What?” Your tone was sharper than you intended, making you quickly turn away from his annoying face.

"What’s with the cold shoulder?” Zoro huffed, moving to stand in front of you, a hand against the wall behind you, his hand going to your chin.

He leaned in closer and- you could smell that woman's perfume, lingering on his skin and you scoffed, pulling away from him.

“I’m surprised you remembered I was even here.” You rolled your eyes, hating the jealousy that burned through your chest.

Zoro could just blink at you, eyebrows furrowed as you pulled away from him, his eye scanning over you, the clenched fists, the anger that boiled.

“So…you’re pissed at me or somethin’?” He asked, arms crossed over his chest.

“No.” You said sharply. “So go back to your new little friend.” You turned to walk away from him.

“Tsk.” Zoro let out a breath, a pang of irritation rushing through him. “That’s what has you so upset?” He wanted to laugh, his jaw tight.

You took in a deep breath, trying to keep yourself from saying something you’d regret. Still, you hated this nauseating jealousy that was building within your chest. You tilted your head back to look at him, his expression tight as he stared down at you.

“You were flirting with that fucking cook all night, and I get the third degree for talking to another woman?” Zoro laughed darkly, shaking his head as he got nose-to-nose with you.

“Since when do you care about that?” You huffed, tone coming out sharper than you intended. Sure, maybe you had been talking to Sanji that night but it wasn’t like that, not at all.

“I-.” Zoro took a step forward, his eye softening just slightly as his mouth hung open, so many unspoken words that danced on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill over.

“Of course I care.” Was what he wanted to say, was what every cell and atom in his body screamed at him to say.

The silence was so heavy, and your eyes on him so intensely only made it worse, he just wanted to kiss that damn look off your face and be done with this.

Instead, he tightened his jaw and scoffed, shaking his head in frustration.

“I don’t care. Fuck whoever you want. I will fuck whoever I want.” He snapped, hating the way his ears burned, hating the way the words felt on his tongue even as he walked away.

It was a lie, of course it was a lie.

Almost two weeks of the silent treatment from you was enough to descend the swordsman into shambles, his jaw tight and lone eye twitching. The entire crew could sense it, the tension, divide, the way Zoro watched your each and every move and how you, in turn, ignored all of his advances to bridge the ever growing gap between you two.

Maybe you were pushing this all a little too far, being too hard on the swordsman. You never agreed on anything exclusive, had never wanted it to be exclusive before. No matter how many times you tried to remind yourself of that, it didn’t soften the blow.

That heartache was probably how you ended up here, drinking entirely too much in a crowded bar. Nami sat across from you, equally drunk as you were. Countless glasses sat on the table the two of you leaned against.

You had definitely gotten too drunk, more drunk than you had intended to.Your mind was reeling and cheeks pink as you danced incredibly close with a man whose name you couldn’t even remember. You don’t even remember telling him your own name nor him telling you his. His hand curled around your hip, his warmth seeping into you as his leg pressed between your thighs. It wasn’t the same, of course. And no matter how hard you tried to push it from your mind, he wasn’t who you wanted.

You sighed, shamelessly tilting your head back as you felt this complete stranger push his thigh between your legs, bodies pressed so close your breasts pushed to his hard chest, the skirt of your dress pushing up more and more as his hands wandered over your thighs and hips.

And then all at once- as if an unseeable force just ripped the stranger away, leaving you blinking and gasping as your bleary eyes took in the scene before you.

Zoro stood there, his face twisted in rage as held the man up by the edges of his shirt, his chest rising and falling with barely contained fury. His eyes full of fiery rage, his breath coming out in deep huffs.

“Get the fuck out of here.” Zoro growled, dropping him and the minute the man's feet touched the ground, he shoved his hand flat against the man's chest, the impact sending a deep crunch echoing through the bar as the man practically flew, colliding with the wall in a sickening crack.

You could just stand there, stupidly drunk, doe-eyed and cheeks so pink it just made Zoro’s head spin more, the beer he had drank that night still simmering in his veins.

“We are leaving. Now.” He said, leaving no room for question as he grabbed your arm and started to pull you after him.

You immediately shoved his hands away, arms crossing over your hips as Zoro slowly turned back to you, the veins in his muscled arms twitching as he got nose-to-nose with him.

“Why did you do that?!” You snapped, shoving at his shoulders, though Zoro could just stare down at you, nostrils flaring.

“Why?” Zoro laughed humorlessly, like ice running down your spine. Zoro inhaled deeply, shaking his head.

Without another word, Zoro had you scooped up and tossed over his shoulder. He didn’t care that everyone in the place had witnessed the scene. He just ignored your curses, ignored the squirms and the way you smacked and hit him you ranted at him. HIs silence only made you more angry as he carried you out of the bar and down the dark street.

“Put me down, you piece of shit!’ You huffed

You hated feeling like this, so vulnerable, so furious, even when you knew you had no right to be.

And eventually he did put you down, waiting until you had stopped cursing and smacking him.

He was gentle as he sat you back down on unsteady heels.You could only glare up at him, cheeks pink from all the drinks you had, definitely too much.

“Do you enjoy fucking with me?” He asked, eye sharp and full of icy rage.

“Excuse m-.” You started, but Zoro moved forward, his hand slamming audibly on the wall behind you, trapping you in with his arms, the muscles twitching and tight.

“You ignore me for days, I go to find you, to try and fix whatever this is.” He waves his hand between the two of you. “And then, I hear from long-nose that you’re going out. I searched every bar in this fucking town and this is what I find.” Zoro growled, his hands trembling.

“Oh, so now you care what I do?” You scoffed, arms crossing over your chest, looking away from his steely gaze.

“Stop with the bullshit.” He snapped, jaw tight. “I’ve been goin’ fucking crazy, I don’t know what you want from me.” His tone was softer now, his eyebrows furrowed. “And seeing you with someone else it-.” Zoro shook his head, rubbing his neck with a sigh. “I almost lost it.”

Almost? You were sure the poor guy had a broken rib-maybe two, if he had even survived that.

“You could’ve killed that guy.” You muttered.

“I should’ve killed him.” Zoro said, a deadly serious look on his face.

There was a silence, a moment of shock between both of you, you were shocked that he had said it, and Zoro couldn’t believe he had been drunk enough to say it. He could just groan, rub his face in irritation before looking back down at your stupidly cute and sweet face.

“I have always cared.” He said suddenly.

“What?” Your voice was meek, eyes and sharp expression softening as you saw the look of desperation, the regret on his face.

“I…didn’t mean to hurt you, to…make you think I don’t care I-.” He stopped, his cheeks burning up and he sighed, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I care too fucking much, actually.” He continued.

“But you- you said.” You started, your heart racing at his closeness, at the rawness in his voice.

“I was just being shitty, I…was acting shitty. I was jealous, that’s it.” Zoro mumbled. “Please- I can’t take anymore of this silent treatment bullshit.”

Seeing how much it had affected him, the true regret and emotion on his face made your eyes flutter, cheeks burn up at his uncharacteristically soft words. The ache in your chest now replaced with a fiery thrum that echoed through your entire body.

“You were…jealous? Of Sanji?” You asked, a teasing smile on your face that only made Zoro scowl and pinch your cheek.

“Of course I was, stupid.” He mumbled. “Did you really think I would want anyone as much as I want you?” He asked, his hand brushing over your cheek, he couldn’t help but savor each touch, each glance.

“You want me?” You asked

He let out a dark laugh, letting his head slip to the crook of your neck so he could take in your scent, your warmth, like he was starved and worn.

“Every second of every day.This face, this body. I can’t think straight when it comes to you” He said in a low voice, his hands gripping your hips as if to emphasize his point.

You were both too drunk, too close and…when he looked up at you, neither of you had a shred of hesitation before your lips collided, neither sure who started it. Only that you both stumbled back to the ship. Hushed giggles and stolen kisses exchanged as Zoro clumsily lead you to an empty room. His hands moved quickly, almost desperately, over your flesh, spreading out under your clothes, his fingers trailing down the expanse of your stomach.

“Zo’, slow down. M’not gonna disappear.” You managed out, giggling softly as Zoro grabbed your legs and dragged you forward so he could press soft kisses down your ankle.

“Maybe I don’t wanna take that chance.” Zoro hummed, his steely eye watching each and every reaction, taking in each sound you made like it was a siren's song.

His rough, tanned hands dragged along your thighs, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch before his fingers brushed over the clips of your heels and he quickly, expertly, unfashioned them, letting the clatter to the floor.

“Ever the gentleman.” You teased, pushing up on your elbows as Zoro tugged off his shirt, his muscles tense and eyes hungry as he stared down at you.

“Gotta treat my girl nice, hm?”

Those words made you pause, your heart racing at the way his eyes locked on yours, the almost nervous expression on his face, like he was worried about what you would say, what you would think.

“I just-” He started, eyes flickering over your blushing cheeks, that damn smile.

It kept him up for weeks, that face.

You chewed on your lip, pushing yourself off the bed and standing before him, hands trailing over his scarred chest, tracing along each line, each mark. His scent made you dizzy, seasalt and cedar, sweat. You could almost feel his own heart beating as hard as yours was. You rested your hand there before leaning in and connecting your lips, it wasn't rushed or rough.

Your arms looped around his neck, neck tilted as Zoro slipped his tongue between your glossy lips, the taste of sake still on his breath as he invaded your mouth, his hands coming up to your hips, gripping the ends of your dress and tugging it up and over your head.

He had seen your body countless times, and yet for some reason this time felt so different, like it was the first time either of you allowed yourself to feel anything real from these fleeting moments. LIke Zoro let himself actually want you.

“S’ fuckin beautiful.” Zoro almost groaned, his fingers trailing over your hips, old scars. His mouth practically watering at your soft skin presented just for him. His fingers tugged away at your bra in a swift motion, a low hum at the hardened peaks of your nipples, the way your cheeks flushed.

His eye scanned down your body, his thumb hooking under the thin straps of your panties before he tugged them down, a starved expression on his face as he gently laid you back on the bed, pressing kisses down your ankle, up your thighs before he was settled between them.

“Been thinking about this for weeks.” He muttered, pressing soft kisses to your clit, around it, his tongue dragging slow and agonizing circles around your bundle of nerves. “Need to taste you, feel you cum until your legs fuckin’ shake.” He groaned, voice muffled and his cock pressing painfully against the bed, desperate for any friction as precum soaked his boxers.

He truly acted starved, his hands gripping your thighs tightly so you couldn't pull away or escape his touch, his hungered movements as his tongue pressed past your folds, curling and lapping up all your essence that he could. He shifted again, moving to suck on your puffy clit.

You were a mess, near sobbing as you came, once twice, coming up on a third time as Zoro continued his assault. He had moved so one of his expert fingers curled and twisted in your tight cunt while his tongue swirled over your clit.

“Z-Zo’.” You whined, a pleading desperate tone to your voice as you tugged at his messy green hair. “N-need you inside.” You whined, eyebrows furrowed and face hot with tears.

He smirked, a wolfish grin on his face as he pulled back, his fingers and mouth leaving your sex just long enough so he can tug his boxers away and leaving you feeling empty, the need and want for him growing even hotter in your core.

You couldn’t stop the gasp as you saw his cock, messy curls at the base and pulsing with need. Zoro had always stretched you out in a painfully delicious way, but it always shocked you regardless of that. Tanned skin, pink fat tip that he pressed against your slick folds, letting out a groan as your slick coated him, your warmth pressed against him and making his hands tighten around your hips.

“How bad you want it, hm?” He chuckled darkly, hips pushing forward so his tip pushed past your walls, stretching and aching for more, desperate for all of him.

“D-don’t be mean.” You huffed out, already panting from your previous orgasam’s, head still spinning and your stomach tight with tension.

“C’mon, you’re so soaked for me. Just wanna hear ya’ say it.” He said, continuing his movements, pushing his tip just past your walls before dragging his fat tip along her clit, her folds.

“Z-zoro. Please, I need you. Only you.” Your voice, the sweetness in your tone was enough to make Zoro snap, his hips slamming flush against yours. You scrambled to cover your mouth to quiet the moans and gasps that came tumbling out.

“That’s right, y-you’re mine.” He grunted, hands spreading your legs deliciously so his tip could burry deep into your plush walls that trembled around him, your desire soaking the bed, your thighs. “Only mine.” He groaned, his tense and fat balls slapping against your flesh as he continued pounding into your awaiting cunt which tightened and pulsed.

Zoro was delirious, drunk on the liquor he had drank indeed but more so with this, the teary look in your eyes, the bruising pace he kept, unrelenting and heavy as his desire boiled over, the cord snapping as he felt you tighten again, and he came deep in your cunt, letting his seed fill your womb. He had to mark you, remind himself you were his, only his.

Exhausted, you both collapsed there, sweaty limbs entangled, drunk on each other, on the passion.

And for once, neither of you left or recoiled. Zoro just tugged you into his arms, holding you there until you both drifted off.

Please do not copy, use my work, or put it through AI without my permission or I'll be really sad about it!!

[shipmansflannels]

"who asked first" with the yellowjackets

yay! I'm back! the decision to open a new blog just for yellowjackets wasn't easy at all, but since it's been a year since this obsession has barely gone away and I already had an extremely confusing blog with layouts and the like, I wanted to start over with this one. hope you like it. I'll make a very simple and small prompt first, and then I'll make the masterlist and the oneshots/fanfics. stay tuned! sorry for any grammatical or coherence errors, english is not my first language and I'm trying to improve!

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who asked first with the yellowjackets girls...

jackie taylor.

well, if we're going to be honest here, you definitely asked first.

of course, jackie had already been rehearsing for weeks how he would ask you out. but she's obviously a girlfaillure, so you definitely asked first.

it was probably when she least expected it. it could be at soccer practice, or when you were coming home from school together and you had the audacity to ask her to go out with her to some hypothetical and boring place in the middle of the street… whatever.

all I know is that this little loser was eager for you to ask, and she definitely rolled out the classic, "took you too long…"

shauna shipman.

again, you asked first.

shauna doesn't have the social tact to ask you out (she's just like me), and drunk is even worse, so you actually had to make the first move most of the time.

just like jackie, it could have been when she was at soccer practice, or when she was alone enough to vent to her journal and you were able to get close to her without scaring her. anyway, the thing is, shauna was already secretly expecting this to happen (a lot of her journal pages were about you btw), so it wasn't a surprise either when you asked her out.

despite everything, you didn't have any difficulties on your first date. she's pleasant company, I suppose.

natalie scatorccio.

one of the rare exceptions where she asked first.

okay, don't be fooled, either. natalie is very cocky from time to time, but asking to go out with you is definitely one of the times she tends to weaken. so, kevyn probably dared her to do it and she just took advantage of her cooler personality to use it on you.

but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. in fact, it's kind of a good thing (and probably depressing for her) because she only felt like herself when she asked you. I see in nat a huge tendency to ignore some of her feelings, especially when it comes to people she likes.

the invitation was probably also full of teasing on her part, from body language to the words used for it. and somehow she made it look cool and convinced you to accept it.

things that only natalie scatorccio could do.

lottie matthews.

for some reason, I'm 100% sure you asked first.

I know many of us think of lottie as a completely carefree, liberal and often bitchy enough person to ask someone out on a date. but, if we count the pre-crash, I think she was a very insecure person and uncertain of her feelings, more due to the influence of the pills.

so, as incredible as it sounds, you asked first. it was in an extremely relaxed conversation between you that the invitation ended up unintentionally, and she was visibly panicked when she agreed.

lottie is probably the type of person who has a rehearsed speech in front of the mirror while getting ready, and with her enviable style and expensive clothes (some stolen), she would do anything to make your date the perfect date.

taissa turner.

she asked first.

taissa is confident enough to ask you out, I have no doubt about that. but she definitely spent weeks planning the perfect invitation, just in case everything went wrong and she needed to run (just like what happened when she thought about breaking allie's leg before nationals).

anyway, taissa would certainly ask first and it would be quite a surprise for you. taking into account that, from the moment you accepted, you would discover that van also knew about her friend's ideas, and later that half of the team also knew. it would be a shock because you wouldn't understand tai's intentions at first.

but none of them are necessarily bad. one, is that tai was really excited if you accepted, and her anxiety couldn't stop her from wanting to tell the world. two, because she was overly excited that you had agreed to go out with her, and wanted the world to know it as well.

van palmer.

as much as I would really like to prove otherwise, you asked first.

van has the same problem as lottie, but in her case, it's excessively because of the sarcasm jokes and high charisma. she thinks she's being too much for you and that asking for something like that on this level would end up scaring you away.

in the end, it's totally the opposite, but it's going to take van a long time to figure that out, specifically. the invitation would happen when she least expected it, probably when you were feeling confident enough to pass notes to her during classes.

it's a cute invitation, and one that van would hold in question for a long, long time.

misty quigley.

there would be no other answer. she asked first.

misty has no shame in admitting that she has a crush on you. and of course, to ask you out on a date, this shame decreases even more. she doesn't even care if she will be made fun of by her colleagues, what really matters is that she planned everything for you to accept.

and when I say everything, it really means everything.

from the moment she will slide up to your table and quietly ask if you accept, to the tone of voice she will use to persuade your brain to accept, to the place she will take you hand in hand and then let it slide. … she literally thought of every detail.

and, well, knowing misty quigley's ability to create plans, the whole thing worked out… until you figured it all out and admitted that you liked it even more, much to her surprise.

laura lee.

you asked first, of course. there would be no other answer either.

of course, not ruling out the possibility of laura lee asking first, given her hidden impulsive personality, but, in this case, taking the obviousness into account, you asked, and had to be careful with every line said in the invitation.

of course, it needed to be at a time when you were alone, because you were afraid that pressure from other people would make you feel suffocated. this, of course, did not happen. she thought it was a classic weekend outing, like you guys usually did, until she realized your real intentions.

and, truly, at no point did it make her feel restrained or scared. she was ready to be vulnerable and be herself around you, no matter what.

(but, if you casually ask lottie at some point, she will definitely claim that she saw laura lee rehearsing some speeches and compliments for you in the locker room mirror…)

[missmarveledsblog]

IF SHE WERE MINE ( BRADLEY BRADSHAW X READER )

summary : when  rooster finds reader stupid boyfriend cheating he doesn't mind telling him exactly how stupid  he is for hurting  a woman like that  , a woman he dreams of

warnings: slight angst , fluffy i guess  , there will be a smutty part two 😉 

Every week  , every day and every second  Bradley " rooster" Bradshaw was convinced the universe was against him  knowing the one woman he truly was in love with was in the arms of another because he was afraid to  do anything so he ended up watching her kisses on someone else's lip , her doe love filled glances for him  to another .    He wanted his happy ending ,  the one where he got the girl . so now here he was stuck in another bar or club in town  jake insisted on bringing him but never said why just he needed to be there , that it was going to be important . just as he was about to leave  he watch as the asshole walked in with another girl on arm . Anger wasn't the emotion  he could describe what he felt watching the man , the girl he loved so much and this prick was wrapped around another.  No bradley was beyond the point of anger , maybe even homicidal .  how could this prick take what he already have for granted.   

" hey asshole what the fuck " he growled storming across the bar ignoring jakes calls.

  " who's this baby" the woman had the nerve asked.

" the best friend of his girlfriend " he snapped not caring the woman flinched at the words.

" hey come on man be cool " .

" be cool , she's at home probably believing whatever lame excuse you gave to be with this trash , how could you pick anyone above Y/N  i mean if i was with a girl like that  hell all other women would be faceless because a face like hers would drowned out the world . she does so much for you and yet this is how you repay her cheap hook ups with other women in bars not even hangmans that bad" he snapped .

" hey " jake yelled offended.

" you've got the most beautiful version of sunshine back home waiting on you and yet this is what your doing , your lucky she even picked your sorry ass spend time with , a girl like that is one in a million , you don't do anything to fucking mess that up  or even risk losing " he ranted and raved .

" sounds like your more in love with her "  the woman said softly not taking offence  to his words towards her and moving far from the man she came in with .

" i do and i let a low life bastard take her before i couldnt even tell her how i felt " he sighed . 

what bradley didn't notice in his verbal crusade was phoenix leading Y/N into the bar to catch the bastard red handed .  nat, jake and bob caught him the night before and decided she would need to see  it first hand , rooster was suppose to be there for her help pick up the pieces but she should know that jake didn't fill him in on the plans by looks of it . yet Y/N  stood listening to her best friend telling her definitely now ex   her loved her. 

"Y/N shit hey baby "  .

" Don't heybaby me what the fuck " she huffed.   

" it's not what looks like promise " he scampered towards her . 

" really man " the three dagger squad members and the woman he was there with all deadpanned. 

" and you did you know he was seeing someone " she turned to the woman .

" no i  didn't if i did  i would not be here " she glared at the man .

" roo apologise from being mean to this woman " she turned to bradley .

" yeah sorry i didn't actually mean to call you trash " he scratched the back of his neck .

" no it's fine heat of the moment but i can see why you love her " she smiled .

" and you cheating shrimp dick of a man , you can't go around sleeping with multiple women with that thing no wonder  the ladies of san diego are depressed , get your shit out of my place or i will throw it on the street as for the spare key leave it or my very big friends here will get it off you  " she crossed her arms standing in  front of the man . 

" i'd go now and lady if you want good time blondey over there isnot too bad " she turned and walked off  straight out of the door .

" follow her " nat ,jake and the woman yelled at rooster.

" oh shit yeah " he ran out the door.  once he got out he could see her heading for the car park  her head still high when she got to the car but the second he could see as her hand touch the door  when the emotion of it all hit her . 

not a second did he wait running towards her  grabbing her into his arms as the sobs wrack through her body .

"i got you darling , i alway got you " he kissed top of her head just letting her get it out of her system .

" can you take me home roo , your home i don't want to be in mine " she sniffled wiping her eyes . god it broke his heart seeing her  so broken and hurt but hell he wasn't going to lie he was so proud of how she handled it in the bar .

  " course come on we can get your car later " he smiled softly leading her to the bronco .

" it's actually phoenix car i don't know how i was going to get into it " she wiped her eyes .  he opened the door for he letting her in before he went to his own side her ex eyes locked on her , like he wanted to say something but when he seen the pissed glare from rooster he quickly changed his mind . while she sat there , her  head a jumble mess of emotions from the hurt and heartbroken  , down right stupidity of being with a man like her now ex,  then the feelings of every word rooster said. a man she had known since she was a little girl , her best friend  , the man she truly loved .  the irony of it all was just exactly something life would throw at her she couldn't help but laugh.

" hey what's so funny" he smiled .

" i get cheated on by a guy i only gave a chance to because i never thought you'd love me back like more than a bestfriend and it took him to cheat for you to say you love me " she turned to the man her laughs turning to a another wave of sobs .

" oh shit i'm sorry  really i wanted to tell you but come on your  you , i don't deserve you OWW " He yelped feeling her pinching him .

" hey i will not sit here and listen to you put yourself down ok , your most amazing stupid man i know " she looked up at him , he was smiling brightly  down at her . he'd always looked at her like this but this time it finally made sense , how he always looked at her like she hung the moon and star, the pure love she felt for him was reflected back and yet only now she saw it .

" i'm an idiot , i mean i should of known he was cheating  and i was oblivious to how you felt even though it been staring at me all this time " she shook her head.

" come on just give your brain a rest tonight we can talk about all this another time " he squeezed her hand before driving off . 

"I don't wanna talk roo , I want you and roo "

" thats me " he winked

" take me home or lose me forever " she chuckled.

" show me the way home honey " he kissed her hand . 

Part two *

[clare-875]

Until the End (Levi x Reader)- Prologue

_____ A/N: Posted on Wattpad (@CLARE_875) but also decided to post here :)

Summary: "You can push me away, but I will still fight by you, and I will still follow you… until the end."

The ever-so-stoic Levi Ackerman has only ever known the terrors that living in a cruel world could bring. This all changed one fateful day when he encountered [y/n]; a girl renowned for her looks and abnormal speed. As they escape the confines of the Underground together, they soon discover that freedom doesn't come easy in a world full of Titans. As they rise through the ranks, [y/n] becomes known as "Humanity's Angel", a beacon of hope to humanity as she melts the walls Levi had built around his heart. However, she has her secrets too, and a dark past that might just threaten to pull them apart.

The storyline and characters of Attack on Titan do NOT belong to me, but all to Hajime Isayama; however, I do own this story, and all that occurs disparate to that storyline.

[Series Masterlist] [-> Chapter One] _____

Warnings: Some descriptions of sexual harassment and abuse, blood, violence

Everything was cold. Everything hurt. But you could hear a heartbeat clouding over the deranged sound of the wind, giving you warmth. "I'm sorry [y/n], I'm so sorry." As you clung to the figure that had you wrapped in their arms, you felt the coolness of the air that latched onto your skin. The taste of salt and an uncontrollable rocking took over, destroying any sense of stability. You could hear shouts from nearby strangers, a hushing voice above you as they ran by. Constant apologies were muttered as you rocked back and forth, and stared into the [e/c] of the woman's eyes.

.....

You look up to the ceiling, hoping to catch a glimpse of the starry sky that you can only imagine lies above the unsettling and revolting place known only as the Underground. This is how it has been for as long as you can remember, yet memories would still flash between the darkness of the day and the night. The smell of salt and pungency, the cruel wind, and a warmth. You removed your gaze from the sight above you and looked to the stairs cascading down from the only way out of this place. But there was no use. To get out meant money, and getting out meant having to live, yet living up there in poverty seemed just as cruel as living down here in disparity. You felt the coolness of the breeze move mercilessly against your skin as you lay clad in stolen clothes on the roof of an abandoned dump of a home. It had been your refuge ever since you escaped an orphanage at the age of 5. If you could call it an orphanage. Constant abuse and shouting were all you remember of that place. You can only imagine what warmth feels like, what freedom feels like. The freedom to eat till your heart's content, sleep without worry and run without someone chasing behind you.

Hearing the all-too-familiar sound of your hunger raking through your stomach, you stand up and get ready to fight for another day. Your small, malnourished form may seem weak to others, but your time in the Underground has taught you to be tough. Your body may seem small, but you were agile and fast, so much so that you would often be able to take a loaf of bread with the only trace of your being there, the breath of the wind. Though the Underground was depressing and miserable - many people concerned with their own lives - you were not invisible in this place. Your beauty often caught people off guard, but the unusual way your visual traits stood out in this dark place caused problems in their own way. Men covered in filth and grime, old and battered with age and trial, often corner you, perverted intentions in their hope to overpower you. It was one of the many issues you had whilst in that orphanage. Your speed, however, made up for your lack of strength as the momentum helped you retch free from their filthy grasps again and again. Today was no different.

Succeeding in taking half a loaf of bread and a handful of apples with ease, you shove them into your makeshift bag and prepare to sprint. However, after barely three steps, you feel yourself get dragged into the darkness of an alleyway and away from the business of the open streets. As your vision consorts back to normal, you look up, only to see four men taunting you with the worst intentions brimming in their eyes, the only spark being lust over their lifeless, filthy forms.

"Well, well, well, lookie here, boys, it seems we caught the gem of the pack," a man unusually muscular and large in such a food-deprived place towered over you, seemingly the leader of this pathetic gang.

You tried to keep your cool. You had gotten away from worse before; it would be alright. Two more men rounded the corner, grinning as they emerged. You scoffed in realisation and disgust but felt an unfamiliar chill rip through your spine. This seemed worse. "Imagine the price we'd be paid to have you bought after we're done with you ourselves, of course." The man moved close to your face, hand tight on your wrist. The crowded stench of alcohol and grime suffocated you, but before you could wretch free from their grasp and sprint away, the grasp on your wrist loosened, and when you looked up, the man, taunting you just seconds before, had fallen.

He was dead.

Suddenly, the tension in the air changed as eyes filled with lust turned to confusion and then anger. Shouting ensued as the men sought the source of the stone now ingrained in the head of the man who led their disgusting activities, but as their grasp left you to pursue someone else, you found yourself unable to do anything. Despite living in this barren place where death was as usual as each breath you took, you had never had it done so swiftly and in front of you. But before you could dwell on the fragility of life much longer, you heard a slam and a groan beside you. There was a boy who seemed only a few years older than you, and he had 2 grown men on the floor, bleeding and beaten. He continued fighting ruthlessly, and despite the mounds of death that surrounded you, your gaze did not falter at the way he fought. The way he looked at them.

Two more men were on the ground before you could even blink, red smearing their chests as the boy's knife was now stained with blood. He didn't hesitate. He didn't even blink. Then, as he took on the final man, you noticed a glint of silver in the corner of your eye. One of the men, already on the floor, desperately grasped his wound with one hand, and in the other, a gun aimed at the boy, still distracted as the final man refused to fall.

A second passed. Then, two gunshots. Then a moment.

The boy stared at you, a brief look of shock in his dull eyes. The final man he had been fighting fell limp to the floor along with the man in front of you, his gun lying useless on the floor before him. The next moment felt long and thick as you realised you had actually killed two men. Two disgusting, filthy, corrupt men. But living men nonetheless.

"You killed," the boy spoke, breaking the silence.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, you scoffed, staring at the gun you had stolen from another dead man in the moment. The gun you had shot two men with. "So did you." you looked up and met his eyes. As they narrowed, he turned to walk away, but you decided you were not done with this situation. You had questions and you wanted them answered. "Wait," you spoke, voice wavering despite yourself. "Why... why did you come here? Why did you kill them?" You half expected him to ignore you and walk off, but to your surprise, he turned and looked straight at you.

Moments passed before he replied. "My mother," he hesitated, but looking into your eyes, he continued, "I just didn't want you to have the same fate she did down in this goddam place." With that, he continued on his way. "Wait," you stopped him, voice firmer now. "Tch," he turned, but his eyes went from annoyed to surprised in an instant as he caught an apple you had thrown him. This time, you hesitated. "Thank you," You muttered, giving him a smile. His eyes widened slightly; this was the first time anyone apart from his mother had shown him a shred of kindness in this place.

"Levi."

"What?" you asked, confused at the randomness of the word. "My name, it's Levi," he muttered. Your eyes widened. I must have really seemed shaken for him to sympathise with me, you wonder as you figured he seemed someone closed off and invulnerable. "My name is [Y/N]," you smiled, "Thank you, Levi." He said nothing and walked off, but at least he didn't refuse your tribute. You decided that this time, you would sprint straight away to avoid any more unwanted attention, never thinking you would see him again.

.....

As time passed, you were surprised by how often you saw his face, seemingly more so in the middle of fights on the streets or stealing food. It seemed he was just as noticed in this place as you were, hearing flickers of his name uttered in the streets, followed by curses and threats. He started to notice your name being spoken in the streets too, either filthy men upon your beauty or vendors' irritation on your speed.

As you both heard the other's name uttered more often, you also bumped into each other more often. When, at first, each meeting was only a brief look of recognition, it was followed by brief greetings, then conversations (more from your end) as you found yourself intrigued by the man who had saved you with his underlying strength. He also found you curious, though he would rather die than admit it, intrigued by your strengths and your story. Soon, you both found the walls you had built around yourselves after years of grief and turmoil gradually breaking as your unlikely acquaintance turned into companionship which turned to friendship.

As years passed, you both shared multitudes of conversations, he taught you how to clean properly, you brewed tea, and you both supported each other. You would find yourselves sharing the same spaces, sharing the snippets of your past you have never shared, him surprising you with brief stories of his own. Of his mother, who had died many years ago, and of his prior caretaker, Kenny, who had abandoned him a year before. Your friendship grew with your trust, and you found yourself surrounded by the feeling of warmth, something you lacked for most of your lifetime, all thanks to Levi. Even as people you came to meet left you, even when people joined the both of you. The reassuring gestures, the way he had your back, the way he spoke about how he was "gonna get out of this shitty place." Levi gave you hope that maybe you'd find freedom with him.

_____

[-> Chapter One]

[dn-hc]

What's your personal headcanons for them? Like personality, appearance, hobbies, etc

L Lawliet

Aspergers

Honestly a deeply emotional person, he just allows himself to feel what he's feeling, but remains self aware.

It isn't that he doesn't have emotions, he just feels the need to hide them so they can't be used against him.

Also never learned how to properly express emotion.

So he often got in trouble for it as a child. 

Which taught him to keep them to himself and view them as a negative thing.

Thus why he can become agitated when others are overly emotional because he doesn’t understand not everyone grew up being punished for their feelings.

Was HEAVILY abused as a child.

Speaks in monotone, but it’s not because he’s cold—it’s just effortful for him to perform socially.

Secretly craves affection, but has no idea how to accept it if offered.

Honestly, very strong.

Takes Einstein's approach to clothing. It's not worth wasting thought on deciding what to wear.

Lowkey loves emotional TV scenes or songs or books, so he can feel intense emotion rather than his usual numbness and emptiness. 

Incredibly lonely and depressed, but would never admit it.

Secretly loves animals. Has fed dozens of strays and birds over the years.

A cat person.

Wants to fit in more than he lets on. 

Would dye a strand of hair blue, especially if Misa encouraged it.

Light Yagami

During his Kira phase, a bit of a bigot

Deeply lonely even before the Death Note—he’s been performing for people all his life.

If he hadn't became Kira, he would've decided to become a lawyer instead, deeming police work as low paying and low class.

Irons his clothes.

Debate clubs, chess, mock trials. Loved being the smartest in the room.

Pretended to read philosophy but mostly skimmed for quotes to sound deep.

Lowkey misogynistic, both before, during, and after Kira.

Would have the 2000's 'cool guy' attitude towards gays. "I don't agree with it, but as long as you keep it to yourself I don't care."

Even if he hadn't become Kira, if he got with a woman he deemed not as intelligent and therefore lesser than him, he would be lowkey abusive, raising her voice at her, belittling and drgrading her, eventually escalating to full on yelling and punching holes in walls before he decides it's time for a divorce.

Despite claiming he wants the connection of a woman on his level, he would much rather have the control of being with someone 'inferior'.

Honestly, he had something dark in him WELL before Ryuk and that book came along.

Mihael Keehl

Honestly, a big ass flirt.

Despite his passionate nature, he can be chill when with friends.

If you don't think him and Matt are getting drunk and high, playing video games, and eating pizza every saturday night, ya dumb.

Lowkey depression and anxiety.

Deeply insecure.

Would dye his hair in a heartbeat.

Obsessed with war history

Used to be obsessed with Napoleon.

Lowkey a party boy.

Goes to clubs and parties AT LEAST every other weekend.

Was actually kinda popular in the orphanage.

Definitely played sports during his youth, mainly competitive sports like track.

Loves bowling

Sucks at bowling

A dog person.

But should a cat show him love, he'd pretend to hate it but first of all, that's his baby.

Girl dad vibes.

Momma was a druggy.

Dad abused his mom.

Mello would try to protect his mom and siblings.

Mail Jeevas

Playful and flirty with most people, but shy and reserved if he actually likes a girl. Has to take a shot or a hit to feel confident enough to approach her.

Hella chill.

A bit of a loner.

Very observant but rarely lets on how much he notices.

Struggles with anxiety but hides it under nonchalance.

Always has a little bedhead.

Into vintage game collecting.

Mello's introverted friend who he has to drag out to parties.

Sits in the corner with his hand held and joint waiting for Mello to leave.

Prefers small get togethers over big parties.

Lowkey amazing cook but never admits it unless bribed.

Weirdly good with pets and kids.

The guy who THINKS he's a dog person, but cats TELL him he's a cat person.

WOULD have a cat.

Not on purpose, he was found eating pizza in a dumpster.

Lowkey a bird and rodent person too.

Thalassophobia

There ARE deep sea monsters

And he doesn't want to meet them.

Fucking LOVES bugs and dinosaurs.

Bugs and dinosaurs are fucking sick man.

Goes to museum to see dinosaurs.

Hates bowling.

Honestly great at bowling.

Chill dad vibes.

Nate River

Despite seeming detached, he is deeply empathetic.

Has a weirdly dry sense of humor that you only catch if you’re paying close attention.

Hates being underestimated but doesn’t correct people—it’s more useful that way.

Dresses for comfort, not style—sweaters, oversized shirts, barefoot when he can.

His expressions are subtle: a raised eyebrow is a full reaction for him.

Lowkey lazy and spoiled af expecting others to cater to him and becoming annoyed when they do not.

Would want a submissive girlfriend.

Who's a super smart and sneaky underneath the innocent appearance.

Sucker for doe eyes and round cheeks.

Collects and customizes toys—not just for fidgeting but as visual metaphors for thought.

Loves chess and rubiks cubes.

Misa Amane

Extroverted, emotionally intense, but way smarter than people give her credit for.

Deeply traumatized underneath the happy face.

Feels her parents don't love her.

Despite being surrounded by others all the time, she's lonely. Feeling no one actually likes her or wants her around, they just tolerate her.

Weaponizes the fact that people underestimate her.

Naturally blonde, but changes her hair often depending on mood and trends.

She carries grief under all the sparkle.

Knows how to draw her own fashion designs and sew her own clothes.

Writes poetry in a private journal—dark, raw, and beautiful, but she’d never show it.

[thegreatimpersonator]

since y'all seemed to want this.... here's the live notes i took while listening to each song for the first time (bold are thoughts i had during later listens)

fortnight: 

‘i was a functioning alcohol till nobody noticed my new aesthetic’ what the fuck does that even mean…

love the fact she gave post the female collab treatment. don’t wanna hear what he has to say. 

they’re voices sound actually good together? 

some pockets of the melody are catchy

okay i don’t hate this 

ttpd:

her red flags are on fire in this song lol

this seems very half-cooked

also jacks weird mixing continues to plague us all

CHARLIE PUTH???? WHAT THE FUCK WHY HE HERE

tattooed golden retriever??? ……no way

my boy breaks all his favorite toys:

i blinked and it’s half over

this also is like… half cooked and didn’t need to be released tbh

i love the way she sings the second verse tho

down and:

the production does not match the vibe

did tpain produce this

i’m… kinda bored lol

like i have nothing to say this also didn’t need to be released tbh 

this grew on me a lot actually

so long london 

the production is so futuristic? 

oh im obsessed with how she sounds on this one

her talk-singing in the verses is great

honest lyrics without any clunky unnecessary metaphors! a win!!

the fast-paced verses with th slow chorus is really really cool

a favorite so far

daddy i love him

i can barely hear her? the bad mixing continues 

‘growing up precociously sometimes means not growing up at all’ oh yeah WE KNOW

is this…… is this about her dating matty and loving how people hate him… no fucking way she’s this stupid

SHE IS BEING THIS STUPID

‘it’s white noise’ yeah yeah that’s exactly how id describe him  

.... anyway y'all remember when fans really believed the little mermaid theory and this song was supposed to be about how 'joe stole her voice' lmaooo

we will pretend this one doesn't exist!

fresh out the slammer

are we getting another ‘i didn’t cheat technically’ song lol

what is this weird tempo change….

okay kinda catchy

it’s sounds exactly like you are in love at the end….. jack is really out of tricks

florida

‘my friends all smell like weed or little babies’ what the fuck is she even talking about anymore 

i’m sorry but i’m laughing at the phrase ‘fuck me up florida’

again the production sounds so detached from the vocals 

i honestly still have no idea how i feel about this one

guilt as sin

an real instrument?? wow crazy 

okay she’s kinda cute? catchy and fun, love the melody

i love when she goes up at the end of the vocal 

okay…. i don’t mind this one she’s catchy, a little too long and drawn out but cute

who’s afraid of little old me?

what is this production? it’s way too soft to be as threatening as they’re trying for 

why did jack push her vocals back so far when she’s supposed to scream…. that’s ruins the whole thing…. she’s supposed to be screaming and threatening….. not quiet and far away…. hello

this song is trying very hard to be threatening but it’s not... vigilante shit 2.0

‘you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum they raised me’…………… upper middle-class pennsylvania? 

‘i’m drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all say, that’ll  sue you if you step on my lawn’ okay bar?

the bridge was good but that’s about it.

i can fix him 

…………… not another matty song oh god

‘i can handle a dangerous man’…… im too stunned to speak this is so embarrassing 

wow taylor really is that girl who like ‘women supporting women’ and then dates/defends a racist bf…. a walking example of white feminism

intersectional feminism found dead.... twice....

loml

okay this is really nice? 

I WAS ACTUALLY ENJOYING THE SONG WHY DID SHE RUIN IT BY SAYING ‘MR STEAL YOUR GIRL’ 💀

if we ignore that one line we're good this is good. im refusing to let that line ruin such a good song

i can do it with a broken heart

‘bitch smile’ why are there so many cringey lyrics on this album lol

what is this song omg why do i kind of like it 

taylor please learn depressed isn’t a synonym for sad 

they recycled the mastermind production 

wait till taylor finds out most of the entire world is sad while they're doing their job and has to pretend they're not

smallest man who ever lived 

oh i think i like this?

‘you said normal girls were boring’ GIRL AND YOU DIDNT IMMEDIATELY GET UP AND LEAVE??? EWWWW??? she's not beating the pick-me allegations

'i just wanna know if rusting my sparking summer was the goal' okay love that line

i like this a lot

the alchemy

no….. no way this is real

i cannot

THE SPORTS METAPHORS WE JOKED SHED DO THAT AND SHE ACTUALLY DID IT OH NO 

touchdown ✅ teams ✅ benches ✅ winning streak ✅ the league ✅

she’s doing…… the worst thing ever this is so laughable 

the corny lyrics are on overload 

‘this time it’s heroine with an e’ didn’t she write folklore? i can’t remember 

that literally was an snl parody of a taylor song

clara bow

love how the guitar sounds… bet money this is an aaron track 

a stevie nicks reference!! a win!!!

i like this one a lot no cringey lyrics yet

nope never mind she name-dropped herself don’t like that

overall really liked it tho

the black dog

i think i like it?? this is kind of what i expected the album to be

okay for once the weird production choices kind of pay off

imgonnagetyouback

kinda catchy? 

she loves a fancy car getting wrecked line

the pre-choruses are the best part 

this would’ve been better without the jack of it all bc he loves a song that doesnt build to anything

this just comes down to personal preference: i don’t like her lighter vocals with jack’s heavy production (ie most of lover lol)

the albatross

a real instrument!!! production that matches taylor’s voice and is well mixed!!! aaron’s arrived!! 

i think it’s solid, has good writing and she sounds great. that's about it.

chloe or sam or…

took me a solid minute to have any semblance of a fuck to know what was going on but okay

okay i love this one

wayyyy more emotive than like… most of the original album

a lot of the 2nd version (or whatever this is lol) are way more emotive, maybe because her voice isnt drenched in reverb so we can actually hear her voice emote better

how did it end

this sounds like an old school adele song? 

i love this one too…. 

her being upset people wanna know what happened but then also feeding it while promoting the album oop 

i love the story of this one it's so refreshing

so high school

THE PRODUCTION is so good ugh aaron never fails 

the man here is a walking red flag girl and the lyrics are ~not it~ but the production is too pretty to hate it

fuck these lyrics are so bad lol

maybe if i disassociate hard enough i can ignore the lyrics and just listen to the production and vibe

give me a karaoke version of this song and we'd be so back

i hate it here

i mentioned disassociation and she made a whole song about it!!!! this one’s mine!!!! 

‘without all the racists’ GIRL HUH

WHAT WAS THE REASON

also... girl don’t act like we don’t know you’re fine with that lololololol

if i had a dime for every time i was liking a song to then have it slapped away because of a bad, out-of-pocket lyric…… 

thank you aimee

this isn’t grabbing my attention 

oh the bridge is interesting 

it’s meh 

i will never be thanking the people that bullied me thanks tho

i look in peoples windows 

what do you mean aaron didn’t produce this??? it’s well-made and has instruments? 

i love this one, again a really interesting and unique concept that's very refreshing to hear at this point when a lot of the songs feel repetitive

the prophecy

aaron guitar!!!! 

she’s nice i like her 

i've really grown to love how she sings this one, the melodies are cool.. however i feel like we've heard the same melody.. like on this exact album... where she upturns at the end of every line...

cassandra 

this seems very…. familiar… idk i feel like we’ve covered this (i mean there are 31 songs we’ve already covered everything lol)

this is such an aaron song, that's a classic 'the national' piano

i like her voice in this one tho, sounds good

peter

oh love i love this

now this? THIS feels the most like a taylor swift song

once again she’s at her best with a simple instrument and emotive simple lyrics

the piano reminds me of champagne problems

the bolter 

i like this! the chorus is so cute

oh i like that ending line a lot!

she’s cute, a little long and drawn out but cute

robin

i haven’t seen anyone talk about this one

welp…. i literally have no feelings toward this one but sounds pretty! 

the manuscript

oh this is soooooooo powerful 

i love this concept 

her ending the album on another introspective album that sums everything up a la dear reader yep yep!!

if you actually read of this ily 💗

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Fandoms creepy obsession with torture... Lily doesn't understand depression or trauma.

I've been sitting on this one for a while, so let's dig in. Today's word of the day is "Martry," a person who is killed for a belief.

Right off the bat, Lily starts talking about how we as a fandom is obsessed with the torture of WOC using Korra, Luz, and Anne and an example for a dark joke she made in her moon girl review and in this video she's only gonna be using Korra, Luz, and some She-ra.

She starts with Korra and the torture she experienced with the red lotus, the group that's been trying to kill Korra ever since she was born, and how in her Korra is garbage she was pretty harsh for how it portrays her trauma at the final season. She then goes on to explain the torture scene, how you saw everything in all its gory detail, makes a small insult towards Korra's VA, then how she's tossed around like a rag doll then almost suffocated with the end of all that being shown Korra weakly reaching for her father before she passes out... "a heartbreaking shot that is under cut by the sheer sadisticly glee the writers had when the tortured Korra." Something I found kinda funny was that in her long ass Korra is garbage video, she complained that you didn't see a dictator...acting like a dicktator. Korra is the main character in a made for teen show made in 2012, so yeah, you're gonna see the poor girl getting beaten down. In the 2010s, a lot of shows that were aimed for teenagers showed a bunch of main characters getting beaten down with barely any psychological effects. Teen wolf, young justice, the fosters, your name, and Chronicle all shows during the 2010s that displayed pretty horrific scenes of torture or just getting beaten up and that wasn't because of the fandom or the writers being fucking weird it was more of a trend that started out of nowhere.

Lily then decided to call that all torture porn all because Korra's trauma is erased, with there still some mercury in her body. She then goes on about "how people said that Korra's behavior is realistic because that's what people think trauma looked like you being sad and demotivated." She continues by explaining that trauma is deeper than which is true to a degree. That fact is trauma is not one thing. You can be depressed and not even want to get out of bed, which changes how you think. Lily thinks that just because Korra was able to slowly pick herself up that she's back to normal and not bothered by almost getting killed to which I say Lily did you really want to see Korra have panic attacks and constantly hallucinat? Because it sounds like you do.

At the end of her talking about Korra, she finishes it by saying that the torture wasn't necessarily and a big fuck you to character development and that it was just the writers getting off to the idea of torturing women... now to Luz.

Lily starts out by saying that Dana terrace is really into depressing and the macabre, but on a fan girl surface level and still thinks creepy pasta is cool (keep that shit out of your mouth Lily) Lily really can't help herself but to drag women/nb/transmen creators through the mud in her Korra section she didn't name drop or even show a picture of the creators or writers even though she said the men where showing off their creepy "torture fetish" before watching this I watched her video on Catra and Adora's relationship and how abusive Catra is and Lily called ND Stevenson a Creep and an abuse fetishist and I think this all comes from a place of jealousy because they were able to make something amazing and be green light for shows where no one is a right mind would trust Lily with a five dollar bill.

After Lily was finally able to pull herself away from talking shit on female creators, she finally started talking about Luz's trauma, bringing up how, in the last episode of the first season after Eda was dragged away she starts to fight Lilith and says that was her trauma response which it's not really. Eda being captured was the beginning of the traumatic experiences Luz was gonna go through. As the show went on, you can see more of Luz blaming herself for things out of her control. Even when it was the smallest thing, she'd go way out of her way to make it up. Luz's trauma response is trying to fix what she broke she's the kind of person that would bring treats as an apology and tell the person she wronged how sorry she is for a week.

Lily then goes on to complain that in season 3, she doesn't do anything she mops around instead of trying to fight like in season 1, but a lot has happened between 1 and 3 Luz's trauma and depression all falls from her blaming herself for everything that happened.

Eda being captured, seeing her mother and the promise she made, failing to attend her father's grave, seeing all of the past golden guards empty helmets, watching Hunter get dragged under by belos, finding out she help belos met the collector who in turn gave him the draining spell, and the final nail in the coffin being King sacrificing himself to protect her resulting in Luz and her friends being stuck in the human realm with no idea if their parents and family are alright. Who the fuck wouldn't be depressed after all that?! She says she wanted a scene where Luz talks about her trauma which she already does she talks to her mother she knows that everyone else isn't having a good time either so she doesn't want to talk about it. If you found out all of your friends were not doing so hot, would you really want to bother them with your problems? That's the thing with deep deep depression it makes you think the world would be better off without you. That you're a pest to your friends and family and that they would be happier without you, which isn't true, and even when you know that you can't stop thinking that anyway. Lily talks about depression like it's something easy to get over with, that if Luz just really sat down and talked about it, she'd instantly feel better and go back to her ass kicking self but that fact that she didn't Luz is now a terrible girlfriend.

Now, we all know how Lily deals with people who have crippling depression which to say she kicks them to the curb and dusts off her hands of the situation. Remember Lily broke up with someone who was in a horrible state of depression saying that she was being toxic and a waste of time, and to that, I say what kind of a cruel person ditches someone like that?

She calls Luz a shit person for having crippling depression for not talking about the root of her self blame. Luz has been keeping her role in helping belos with the mass genocide and other things a secret and lies because she believes the truth would hurt them more she's not being a shit person on purpose. Luz never expected her friends to paddle her bad behavior or to even shower her with affection she's expecting the opposite. She thinks that if she tells them the truth, they will look at her with disgust and leave her, you know, like the mind trap the collector put her in that showed her worst nightmare. That you would have known if you watched it!!!

Lily once again blames Dana for not having a crying scene when her show was canceled, and instead, we got a realistic depiction of crippling depression. She goes back on calling everyone in the fandom creepy fucks that like our slow burn hurt with no comfort fics and how we like it even more when it's with women and black people. Now I like my edgy fan fiction, and it's not because I like seeing black women getting tortured. I simply like it as an outlet. I like seeing strong men and other characters at their lowest. Seeing how people write out how they would react most of the stuff I read, I would never want to happen to me or my loved ones. Hell, if my friends tell me their in a depressed state, I'm not gonna leave them to dry (like some people).

Lily also really has the biggest balls to call professional writers bad when she only writes fanfiction she's done it with RS, ND, and Dana. As if she could do better. I write fanfiction, and I would never put myself up there with actual show writers and published authors she brings up her shit Star Wars fic, saying how her fan base around the story wanted to see the angst that she scrapped out then proceeded to call them all racist and sexist for wanting angst. This shows that her fic is so boring that people want to see more things happen.

And now we are finally towards the end of this garbage video, where she brings up how, in her personal life, she used to like being called names, and her "friends" told her it's just a kink and it doesn't mean anything but her therapist told her it's a problem she then goes onto say that she was making herself worse until she met people who loved her and that kink went away... now I'm glad she was able to fix her own problem, but that's not a universal thing. Some people need outlets, and kinks can sometimes help. It's not for everyone but to call people liars, freaks, and judge them for their own outlets is a fucked up thing to do.

Lastly, no writer has the intention of having their audience of kids jacking off to torture scenes. I think that says more about you, Lily, if that's what your conclusion was. The writers weren't freaks because you thought it was hot.

Do yourselves a favor and don't take mental health advice or writing advice from Lily.

[ruins-of-tragedy]

Thoughts on season three's episode five to eight of RWBY... I am not okie. And it's about to get worse. Not ready. At all.

Season 03, Episode 05: Never Miss a Beat

- "There will be no rest..."

- Cardin's team members vs Penny and her mate.

- Penny and Ciel of Atlas win!!! Is Ciel there just for fulfilling the body count?

- "Thank you for a wonderful time." What's funny is, Penny actually means it. 🫶🏻

- Team RWBY were watching from the sidelines. Yang and Blake were watching each other there for a bit... ❤️‍🔥

- Ruby is off to congratulate her friend. Awwwwwwwww! And somehow survived Penny's enthusiastic hug. 😆

- Ciel Soleil. It rings a bell. Not sure because of what though... According to her, Ruby's status: Questionable. 😂

- "She is like Blake. If Blake was ordered to spend time with you." / "So like Weiss." 😭✨😆

- General Ironwood is involved. And doesn't want anyone to know of Penny's origins. This is going to be bad...

- That magnet mishap wasn't even that. Penny is too pure. Cinnamon roll! 💖

- Awwwwwwwww! She wants to attend Beacon. And has a plan to make it happen. YAYYYYYY!

- OOOOOOooooooooh! Yang and Weiss' match.

- Atlas' kingdom, forces and academy are the same?! Military rule. Fucking fuck. Not a big fan.

- I like this rainbow girl and jazz guy. They look cool. But FreezerBurn for the win!!!

- Jazz guy is called Flynt. Subtitles are a lifesaver. And he has a personal vendetta against the Schnees... Neon is a childish copycat. I don't like them anymore.

- This girl is jealous of not only Yang's hair but also her... top. Blake isn't in the field though. 😂

- Jokes aside, is Neon supposed to be inspired from Harley Quinn? Also, am mad at this lady on Yang's behalf. Let me at her!!!

- Lavaland and Iceland arena. Even the battlefield is going FreezerBurn. I know who am rooting for. ✨

- This guy's soundwaves are good. The trumpet noise is a little annoying.

- I like the song playing. Flynt and Neon may be pains in the arses, but have taken over FreezerBurn's heads. Shite.

- Yang is about to "cool off." ❤️‍🔥

- Flynt made a cheap shot regarding Weiss' abilities. Now he is suffering the consequences.

- His semblance is his own band?! Okie, that's pretty good.

- Oh no. It's not going very well for Weiss and Yang... Did this fucker just fat shame... I amma commit crimes now.

- Awwwww! Weiss sacrificed herself so Yang could remain standing. It's the fact that the opening sounds of 'Mirror Mirror' started playing when she did that... ✨🥹

- Two vs Yang. I know who is going to win. ❤️‍🔥

- Flynt Coal. You and your colourful annoyance of a headache are about to be knocked out.

- There's a desert and a cityscape in the arena too! I forgot they had four different habitats for the doubles round.

- "Ooooh. It looks like Yang's angry. And you wouldn't like her when she's... upset." -Peter Port saying this makes it so much more hilarious! 😆

- Super Saiyyan Yang!!!! ...Is this Yang's theme in jazz?!?! I love it!!!

- "Sour note for Flynt." 😂

- Neon has been turned into fireworks. Much heartfelt exchange for Weiss and Yang. 💖

- Flynt and Neon are from team FNKI? Makes sense I guess. At least they aren't sorry losers. Respect for that.

- Team RWBY is together and friends and thriving. ✨

- Cinder's goons and her... Oh no. She has found out about Penny. Nooooooooooooooo. Nooooooooooooooo. Nooooooooooooooo. She is going to use Penny. Fucking fuck fuck fuck. No alterations. No. No. Please. No. 🤬

- I am depressed about what's to come. Ozpin and Qrow are meeting.

- "Sometimes I am not even sure he has a heart." Qrow on Ironwood. He really be TinMan, but worse.

- Guardians are maidens and choose only ladies. Good Gods. Haven't women suffered enough.

- Ozpin is talking about Pyrrha Nikos... Fine, they got me. Thought it would be Ruby, true. But oh no. No.

- I am aware Pyrrha dies. In this very season. You cannot keep tabs on a show without being spoiled every once in a while... My sister however, has assured me that the how of it all will still be devastating. Can't wait to lose my will to live further. 🥂

- Even the Neon sketch and the rainbow fuel supposedly coming out of her rollerblades can't cheer me up. Fuck. The music is nice, but that's always been true. Flynt Coal sketch now. I like how all of his untied bowties have very neon colours too. Ciel sketch. I am still filled with dread. I need to finish this show in one sitting now... Whoa. Neon's nunchucks can change colours? NOICE! Ooooooh! Flynt's trumpet can become a gun.

Season 03, Episode 06: Fall

- "There will be no love..."

- Pyrrha is going to represent Team JNPR in the final round. Ozpin thinks that don't surprise no one. True, actually.

- Qrow is there. Pyrrha is humble. Qrow isn't. Pretty sure he thinks her team is holding her back...

- She is too nice to actually be rude when offended. UGHHHHHHHHH. Smart too cause now she be wondering why they called her.

- They are talking about fairytales?

- The seasonal story of Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall... Four maidens. From four kingdoms?

- The fairytale is true. They don't need dust to wield great power. And can use magic... Semblance is not the same. Huh. I didn't realise that.

- Qrow gave Ozpin a hard look. What was that about?

- Pyrrha is reeling. And could be receiving the fall maiden's power soon.

- Glynda and Ironwood are here. Teachers having part-time jobs. More likely than you think. 💯

- The way they are all speaking in turns... Did they rehearse this?

- Elevator with no music is nerve-wracking. Pyrrha would agree. And now there's a vault beneath the school.

- Glynda is explaining the cyclic nature of maidens who have existed for thousands of years. Not one of them is allowed to hold the power forever. That's good. Power can corrupt folks.

- Also, I couldn't help but note the difference between how Ironwood, Ozpin and Qrow walk. The first one's back is ram-rod straight. The second one uses a cane and it's obvious. The third is just slouching while also strutting; yet it feels like he doesn't care enough to put in any effort... Much kudos to the team for these details. Really a great reflection of the characters!

- So whoever the last maiden thinks of in her final moments, that's who becomes the best candidate for the next maiden. Okie. And if it's a man or someone old, a random person is chosen then. Hmmm.

- Qrow mentions how this makes their job a lot more difficult. How do they make this difficult thing possible? Because he be right.

- Pyrrha wants to know why they didn't wait for her graduation to be over with. Qrow says the world is in danger. And a maiden was attacked and part of her power was stolen... Was this lady named Autumn? He mentioned her condition once before.

- Okie, so not Autumn. But Amber. Her face has some markings and is that an incubator? She is still alive at least!

- Amber might think of her attacker when she dies. And this person might get the rest of her power regardless, since the assailant already has part of it. Talk of impossible situations.

- Pyrrha wants to know why every one outside doesn't know about the maidens. Answer: fairytales and legends.

- Wait. Does that mean Team RWBY's adventures would later turn into our world's Red Riding Hood and the other allusions this show's characters are inspired from?! Within their world, I mean... The aburdists were right then. It's all a cycle. My morbidly boggling nerdy fascination aside, the point they are making is often true! Especially with rumours and many supernatural sightings. There's a little truth to them. Maybe of a different kind altogether, but yes. Something did occur to inspire it all, I feel.

- Bad people have threatened to take away the powers before. Hence, maidens' existence, common knowledge no more.

- Pyrrha doesn't want war and bloodshed. She is ready to take on the mantle, but that isn't enough? Shikes.

- Natural transfer of powers may not be possible. Ironwood is getting involved. I am getting scared.

- So now they can take away someone's aura and fill it in something else... This is bad. Who greenlit this research?! Don't tell me that's how Penny can generate her own aura. Shite. Shite. Shite. I really don't like Ironwood.

- Basically, Amber's very life force could also become one with Pyrrha. And this might effect her already existing soul adversely. Fucking hell.

- Desperate times calls for desperate measures. But isn't this too desperate?

- They need her answer before the Vytal Festival ends?!!??! She is still a kid!!! Fucking fuck FUCKKKKK.

- Ominous warning. First move from bad people has been made. Next move is coming, and pan to Cinder. Shite. I do not find her attractive anymore.

- One on one finals are about to begin. Yang, Sun, Penny, Mercury and Pyrrha. People I know. Nikos looks so out of it. Awwww.

- On a different note, the guy standing beside Yang gave major Robin Hood vibes.

- Peter called Doctor, Barty. Is this banter? ✨😆

- No brackets. Random contestants against one another determined immediately. First match between...

- Yang vs Mercury. They are both close combat warriors. This will be good. And of course I am rooting for Xiao Long. Should I be scared though?

- Also, did Cinder decide the pairing? Doesn't seem like it. She is leaving. May have done it beforehand though.

- And begin! DUDE. THAT MID-AIR FIX FROM YANG WAS SO COOOOOOOOL! She got hit, but returned to her stance while flipping. ❤️‍🔥🤌🏻

- Evenly matched. Yang literally experiences a meteor shower. I don't think that's the end of it though... AND SHE IS UPPPP!!!!

- Yang won!!!! Much celebration!!!!!!! Blake gave her a standing ovation!!!!!!!!! 💖

- I hope Mercury wasn't holding back or whatever.

- THE FUCKKKKK. DID HE JUST TRY TO ATTACK HER AFTER IT WAS OVER?!?? I GET THAT THEY ARE BAD GUYS AND ALL. BUT SHITE. This unsportsmanlike behaviour. 🤬

- The Grimm are getting ready... People are upset.

- ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!!? THESE FUCKERS. I AM GOING TO FUCKING BURY THEM INTO THE GROUND. THEY ARE ACTUALLY PUTTING THIS ON YANG. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! This is farther than far now.

- The vault landscape like thing in the end credits looks amazing. My emotions are all over the place, but I can still appreciate how good it looks. There's one darkened figure there with a whip. Wonder who that is. The music is making me want to make the bad people cry. Pyrrha's character sketches! Glynda Goodwitch's turn! They are both so COOOL! And that machine housing Amber now. The colours be more stark here.

Season 03, Episode 07: Beginning of the End

- "There will be no hero in the end who will rise above..."

- "I want to strong." / "I want to be feared." / "I want to be powerful."

- Are those the wishes of the maidens? The other dialogues were cohesive with one another, except for them. Someone did something wrong.

- Cinder with short hair. This is where she recruits Emerald. Ahhh.

- Emerald is a thief running from the law. Stole a ring. Hasn't eaten in a while.

- Mercury killed his father. He was a drunkard and an assassin. The house behind is burning.

- People in bad circumstances. Cinder takes them in. Makes her mission their own. Fuck.

- They went to Adam before. He refused. Oh good Gods. Blake was with him then. The night before the events of the trailer. How old is this fucker? Adam leads the White Fang. Of course.

- I like the cut to black and the conversations that happen then. It has a nice mysteriously somber effect. But by golly, I am terrified of what's about to come. This is just the beginning. Shite.

- "Excuse me... I am looking for a friend of mine." -Emerald. This was her first line, when we meet her. Oh no.

- The friend was Amber. She is riding the horse, isn't she?

- Emerald's semblance allows her to make mirages. Gotcha.

- Yuppity, it be Amber. This is where it happens.

- Even though I am on the fence about Mercury and Emerald, they are skilled enough to get Amber to use her maiden power on them.

- Here we have Cinder. Okie, turning burnt ground to glass is a nice effect... Three on one now.

- Three arrows surround one. Amber gets out. Everyone down. Emerald is about to suffer Amber's wrath. Cinder's arrow gets her.

- Eye symbol glove with other markings. Spider Grimm out of the portal?! These portal things also appear during the openings. I am dreading everything that's to come.

- Cinder has the other half of the power. She gets a brief makeover as a result. Thank Gods for Qrow. That's how the bad people know him.

- Who is Cinder talking to? Something about laying claim on what they deserve... A few swift hancuffs and a ride to forever prison, methinks.

- Back to Adam. A subordinate of his is talking about finding someone. Blake?

- Adam needs to return to Mistral. His place is attacked by Cinder. White Fang has joined the cause. A little unwillingly maybe. But then... Well. Adam offers his full support later. Fuck all of you. Things just keep getting better and better. 😭

- In the present now, tarnishing Yang's name. I feel like UGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

- Cinder is the one with an ambulance ready. Great getaway. 🤬

- Emerald plays with people's minds to create the mirage. Oh Gods.

- Neo is the driver. Chummy bad people.

- Everyday folks aren't happy with Beacon. Grimm attacks cannot be contained. Mercury has robot legs. I cannot. This is already bringing me down. Things will only get worse. Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck.

- Cinder says there's more coming in the next match. 😭😭😭

- Who will it be against? Don't say Penny.

- Mercury needs to lay low, according to Cinder. Because if I find him... 🤬

- Cinder's sketch. UGHHHHHHHHH. Emerald and Mercury too. Amber's next, the music is making me want to lay out a flawless plan and execute it to perfection against Cinder and co. The landscape where the attack on Amber occurred. It looks incredible.

Season 03, Episode 08: Destiny

- "The good will crawl."

- Fucking Ironwood. This douche. Someone get him out. Just because the world saw it, doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes the entire universe can be wrong. Someone let me at this guy. Pwease.

- At least team RWBY has only been disqualified. Ironwood really rubs me the wrong way. AGHHHH.

- Ruby and Weiss believe Yang. Blake isn't sure what to believe. Yang is crying and I might be a little too.

- Obviously Blake has her reasons. Doesn't make it hurt any less, even though I understand the Adam of it all.

- Am glad she realises they are different people. Doesn't have to mean she entirely trusts Yang's version of events. She can just trust her word. And she is definitely trying, reserving judgement and isn't jumping to conclusions. It's realistic. I like it.

- Team JNPR are good neighbours. Pyrrha has too much to deal with to focus on the tournament. These kids...

- Nora has turned into Pyrrha's personal trainer and is doing all the drills for her? 😆. I really needed that pick-me-up.

- Ren's wearing an apron that says, "Please do nothing to the cook." 😂. Suits him too well.

- Awwwwwwwww! They think Yang's whole fiasco has Pyrrha down. Am not going to lie, under normal circumstances I also would have believed it. Pyrrha is just that good of a person.

- Ren and Nora are bantering. Pyrrha smiled a little because of it. Jaune notices something's up. Going out and about as a team now! Good leader move.

- Yang is down. This is a crime. Qrow is there.

- Oh my Gods. With everything going on, I forgot about Yang's mum. This is really coming at a great time for her. And now Qrow calling her crazy just... UGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

- Thank GODS. At least he made sure to confirm it was her mum. And Qrow and her are siblings? Ooooooh! I always thought Tai and Qrow were related. For whatever reason.

- Yang's mum's message was WoW. It's true, I guess. She won't be around everytime to save her. But the phrasing was very cutthroat.

- Her name is Raven?! Their family must really like birds. 😆

- Yang's about to go on a mother hunt with her uncle?

- Pyrrha's having a moment alone outside. The scene looks breathtaking.

- She may have to become the fall maiden and a fall leaf falls near her? Ensue flashbacks. Give this girl a break!!!

- Awwwwwwwww! Jaune with the pink candy floss to the rescue.

- The fact that Nora and him communicated with just one look... It makes me happy. Nora will now win Ren more stuffed animals! ✨😆

- Pyrrha was so shocked about something she dropped her snack. Now I am shocked... OH MY GODS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!

- Now Jaune is shocked. Pyrrha is laying her head on his shoulder... The lone fall leaf has another leaf join it. 🥹🫶🏻✨

- The leaves have scattered. Pyrrha is talking about destiny being a destination you work towards.

- Side note: Jaune's left shoes' sole has 'left' written on it. Made me smile.

- Pyrrha is hyperventilating. Jaune said the exact words she may or may not have needed to hear. He is slammed into the wall.

- Thank Gods for his shield outfit. Pyrrha isn't having a great time. She said sorry and ran away. Shite. Jaune is left confused and sad and blaming himself. Emojis cannot capture my heartbreak.

- Oh my Gods. Coco saw a mirage as well. I had assumed Emerald could shapeshift then... So Mercury didn't actually try to attack. Emerald was making Yang see things. But that's still not done!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

- Cinder needed Emerald again, last time they talked. Ruby knows something is up now. And she has spotted Emerald in the crowd! YAYYYYYY!!!

- Oh no. Don't go alone Ruby! Fuck fuck fuck.

- She has found Mercury. With no injury... Wait. Penny vs Pyrrha. Metal vs Polarity. These bad guys are really bad. And just as thorough... Things will get more worse now. I don't think I am ready.

- Ruby doesn't have Crescent Rose. Mercury is a close combatant. I AM NOT READY.

- Pyrrha isn't either. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKKKKK.

- Penny's sketch. She looks so cute. I am filled with terror. The commentary box. It's nicely done. I need to scream from the mic. Velvet and her camera. Great work. The music is enhancing the melancholia in me. Jaune and Pyrrha's heart-to-almost-heart place. It looks beautiful. Team STRQ picture now. Am pretty sure this is volume is going to destroy me.

(No spoilers. Otherwise, am already feeling deranged and will not hesitate on forcing you to watch this season without a break. Chào!)

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

I have a lot of opinions on Shuichi Saihara as a protagonist like on one hand I really liked his arc and think he was a genuinely interesting character and on the other hand the twist in chapter 1 kneecapped a lot of what I thought made him a compelling detective character on top of playing into some sexist tropes but like who cares about that.

What I ACTUALLY want to talk about is the AMAZING energy this guy exudes. He has more eyeliner on than any scene kid from the early 2000's. He's as gaunt as a sheet of paper. He looks like a stiff breeze could knock him over. Probably because he canonically didn't eat breakfast before entering the killing game so somehow the murder teddy bear coliseum has actually IMPROVED his living habits.

Nearly every line of Saihara's dialogue in the Japanese dub makes him sound like he's 5 seconds away from bursting into tears. During some intense moments he does this sprite where he's supposed to be adjusting the brim of his hat in a cool way but after he ditches his hat it just looks like he's doing a really emo peace sign. His character arc is about realizing that he doesn't want to kill himself and the way he resolves the conflict at the end of the game is to turn to the audience and say "You guys all suck. We're going to kill ourselves."

In chapter 6, Shirogane literally says that the concept for his character was her going "Hey what if I made a detective who's just, like, the most pathetic. The most cripplingly depressed poor little meow meow in existence?" He isn't even a poor little meow meow at this point he's like. One of those blind orphans that get run over in those propaganda films from the 40's. He's like if Oliver Twist went through puberty.

All the protags yap a lot but all of Saihara's internal monologue in the Free Time Events makes him sound like a fucking Wattpad fic about getting sold to One Direction. He embodies Komaru Naegi's "uwu im just a normal teenage girl" schtick except unlike Komaru, he'd probably dislocate his ankle running from a Ball Monokuma. Babe at least Makoto Naegi is kind of an extrovert?

He's super smart and observant and when he genuinely makes the effort to investigate the school, he uncovers the mastermind's secret lair on like the second day. And the next time he makes the effort he figures out the mastermind's identity and all of her schemes. Every investigation he looks at the evidence and immediately makes 8 logical leaps and somehow figures out the seesaw zipline toilet paper murder of the week.

But between that he, like, alternates between curling up in a ball and sobbing in his room and curling up in a ball and sobbing in front of Momota and Harukawa so like, it takes him a while to get to it. Kirigiri was busting into boys' washrooms and sneaking into secret off-limits dorms and throwing herself down trash chutes. Meanwhile Saihara sees the girls' washroom and is like "Hhhhhhhh I can't go in there that's cooooooooties" and needs The Power Of Friendship to, like, push over rubble or smth.

Like, oh man, he's a great character and he does get marginally more confident but, like, I think this dude runs on nothing but coffee and anxiety. He probably doesn't get more than 3 hours of sleep a night between Momota's midnight hangouts and whatever the hell the love hotels and the Monokuma theatres are all about. Say what you want about his role in the game but he's definitely a unique protagonist because I didn't think someone like him could narrate for a chapter without having a seizure. He looks like he has tuberculosis. MORE than the guy in the game who actually has tuberculosis.

[dsireland86]

🎂NEW YEARS DAY BIRTHDAY REQUEST🎂

My birthday is New Years Day (so there's still a few weeks until then) and I would love a birthday request with the group (Noah, Jolly, Folio, Nick, Matt) Maybe have each guy plan a special birthday date night for each night of the week leading up to the reader's birthday (Save Noah for the last night 😉) Lots of cute fluffy moments and definitely smut 😘

Happy Birthday and Happy New Years! @lacy1986 I hope you like the first part of your asked. I decided to break this story up into two parts. Here's Part 1 with Part 2 following later today.

The 12th Day Of Christmas:

A New Years Birthday Pt.1

Tag list: @philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @nyxthedestroyerofworlds-deactiv @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @Youlookforultraviolet @kenjipepsi1

"Your birthday is in six days, baby. Any idea of what you want to do? You are a New Years baby. There’s a lot of cool stuff we could do."

Matt looked over at Y/N as she ate up the last bit of her ice cream in the tub, looking sadder than usual. All the guys knew she was going through a tough moment due to her depression and that the past year hadn't been all that great for her. That's why Matt brought up her birthday. Normally, he wouldn't, but given the circumstances, he really wanted to do something for her that would help her overcome this moment. Y/N shook her head at Matt's question while putting the lid inside the empty container.

"I would be quite happy pretending my birthday doesn't exist. Let's just focus on New Years instead," she stated unenthusiastically. "Come on, baby. It's one day a year. It can't be that bad." "It is," she muttered beneath the hood of the hoodie. "Why?" "Because I hate the attention." "That's not surprising."

Y/N raised her head, scowling at Folio who did his best to hide his smile. "Someone's in the doghouse tonight," Noah teased. "Shut-up!" Folio shoved Noah hard, making him stumble backward. Y/N chuckled, shaking her head at their boyish antics.

"What I meant was," Folio continued, glaring at Noah, "it's not surprising you don't want the attention because that's not the kind of girl you are." Folio stood over top Y/N, caressing her cheek.

"And we love that about you," Nicholas replied. Y/N smiled over at him.

"But, just because you don't like the attention doesn't mean you're not worthy of celebrating you." Jolly's hand on her knee made the goosebumps appear over her skin that was covered up by Noah's hoodie.

"Hey! I have an idea," Noah suggested. "Why don't we do this... six days until your birthday, right? Starting tomorrow, what do you think about each of us having a date night with you and doing something nice? No big celebration, no piles of gifts or balloons, just a simple, one on one celebration. We'll even plan the day and surprise you since you hate making decisions like that."

Y/N lightly laughed, wiping away a stray tear.

"Sounds good?

Noah rubbed her thighs lovingly, hoping his words gave her some hope. Thankfully, Y/N nodded, taking Jolly's hand as he draped it around her shoulder. Noah looked around at the others.

"Are you all okay with the idea?" They nodded, some muttering quiet "yeses" and "yups". "Good. But I call your birthday," Noah grinned big at her as protests erupted around them. "It's only fair! I came up with the idea!"

"Fine. I call New Years Eve," Folio stated. All eyes shifted to him immediately. "Don't worry. We'll still celebrate together, but after that, she's mine again." He winked at Y/N, making her giggle.

"There's that pretty laugh," Nicholas cheered. "I'm taking tomorrow. I'll make sure you have that laugh to carry with you for the rest of the week."

"After that, he doesn't care what the fuck you do," Matt threw in, sarcastically, making Y/N laugh a little louder. "I'll take day two." Matt got up and kissed her on the cheek, taking her trash, and walking off into the kitchen.

"That means I get day two," Jolly squeezed her shoulder. He pulled her close, kissing the side of her head. "And you're getting a message and a foot rub," he whispered in her ear." Y/N squeezed her thighs together, unable to ignore the warm, tingling feeling that swept through her core.

The next few days were going to be interesting. It would be the first time Y/N had "celebrated" her birthday in a really long time, and to be honest, she was really excited about it.

Day 1: Nicholas

"Here you go," Nicholas chimed, setting her cappuccino down on the table and then taking a seat across from her. They sat in silence staring out the window of the old bookstore, watching the raindrops trickle down the window.

"You look happy." Y/N smiled at Nick. "I am happy. I haven't felt this good in days."

Nichols gave a small grin, reaching over and taking her hand. The soft touch of his thumb, as it made circles on her skin, calmed her, and when he began massaging her whole hand, her eyes closed, and she relaxed completely, making Nick chuckle.

They talked about her feelings and what was going on inside her head; Y/N feeling thankful she had Nick to confide in while leisurely drinking their coffees. Despite the gloominess of the day, Y/N really was starting to feel a lot better.

Later, they picked through old books, each finding one they wanted, the checked out and left. Hand in hand, they walked the street, with Nick stopping at a street vendor selling roses and getting Y/N one. It made her smile, and as Nicholas kissed her, bending her back into the rain, she squealed and laughed.

"Told you I was going to make that happen," Nick told her. She smiled and kissed him again, taking his hand as they continued their walk.

They got home and found out they were alone. Nicholas didn't hesitate one second longer, grabbing Y/N from behind as she stood at the counter drinking her water. He whispered sweet little nothings in her ear, making her laugh and smile, which was music to Nick's ears.

"I love hearing you laugh." Nick cooed, slipping his hand down the inside of her pants and into her panties. His warm finger had no trouble finding her clit, rubbing it quickly before sliding further down right inside her.

"Holy shit," she gasped, gripping the counter hard. "You like that, love? You like feeling me inside you?" "The real thing would feel so much better." Y/N bit her lip, knowing what she was asking for.

Nicholas pressed up against her, pulling her tightly against him, kissing her neck sweetly while slowly sliding two fingers at a time in and out of her. Her whimpers were making him harder by the second.

"Would it be wrong if I said I needed you, Nicky?" "Do you think that needing me somehow makes you weak or wrong?" "Doesn't it?" Nicholas thrusted his finger harder and faster inside her, taking her breath away each time. "No, love, it doesn't. It makes you beautiful, it makes you a woman; to need a man the way you're needing me right now. It's the whole purpose of what we're doing."

He trailed kisses down the side of her neck, pulling his fingers out from inside her and placing them over her breasts. He massaged them softly, grinding his hard length against her ass as she pushed back into him.

"Let's go upstairs where I can love you properly," he whispered against her ear.

Within minutes, Y/N was completely naked in her bed with Nick between her legs, while digging her nails into his shoulders as he gently made love to her. His hands were all over her body, running up and down and caressing every crevice. "Your skin feels like silk, so soft and smooth," Nicholas sighed. Flipping her over, he pressed her down into the mattress, raising her ass higher and fucked up into her hard yet gentle enough for Y/N to feel every inch of his cock against her walls.

"Nicky, I'm about to cum!" she cried, gripping the bed sheets. "Me too. Cum with me, baby," he encouraged, breathlessly. And they did. First Y/N, then Nicholas, both of them collapsing once they both reached their limit.

Curling up into him, Y/N fell asleep in Nick's arms, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. Today had been a good day despite the weather, making Y/N hopeful about the rest of the week and celebrating her birthday.

Day 2: Jolly

The following day busted all of that hope. Just about everything that could go wrong, did, making Y/N grow more frustrated by the minute. Jolly suggested they go out for a bit and take some time away from all the chaos, but even that didn't pan out well. By the time they got back home, Y/N eyes were damp.

"I'm over this day! It's stupid, stupid, stupid!" "Wow, okay, take it easy," Folio eased, rubbing her back as she dropped her bags in the living room. "What happened?" "What happened is stupid people making stupid choices." "I can't argue with that," Folio chuckled. "So, I'm assuming the trips to the art shop and winery were a bust?" Noah looked up at her from the couch. "Well, I didn't say that," she replied, looking down at her bags.

Jolly scratched his head, chuckling. He took Y/N by the shoulders, turning her to face him. "Alright, baby, look, why don't I pour you a glass of wine and start you a hot bath with lots of bubbles. Sounds good?" he suggested. Jolly slid both hands around her face, tilting her head up just enough for him to see into her eyes. He caressed them with his thumbs before leaning down and kissing her softly. Y/N hummed in approval, smiling shyly when they parted. "Sounds good," placing her hands on Jolly's hands, sliding them down to his wrists. "I'll meet you upstairs, then," Jolly grinned, kissing the tip of her nose.

The bathroom was so hot when he entered that Jolly could hardly breathe. Steam had taken over, making everything moist to the touch. Sitting on the edge of the tub, he handed Y/N her glass of wine. She took a long sip before handing it back to him. "Better?" "Better," she smiled, sitting back against the tub. "I'm sorry for how the day went, Jolly. I know this isn't what you had in mind."

Jolly swirled his finger in the hot water, making shapes through the bubble. "You don't have to apologize for anything, Älskling." The pet name made Y/N's heart flutter. "You couldn't control the things that happened any more than I can control the weather." "But I can control how I react to them." "You reacted to them just like any other person would. You're human."

His eyes shifted from the water up to her face. Y/N reached out from the water and placed her hand on his cheek. The warmth of the water rushed through Jolly's cool body, hitting right in his crotch. The sudden, hungry need to be inside her consumed his and thankful, Y/N could tell.

"Join me," she said, more as a command than as a statement. Jolly gave her a tight nod then began to undress. Y/N watched, the heat of the moment flickering in her eyes, as Jolly climbed into the water with her, seething quietly from the temperature of the water. She latched onto him immediately and kissed him as if she was starving.

"Is this better?" Jolly asked, grinning against her lips as he pushed her wet hair out of her face. "God, yes. So much better," Y/N muttered against the skin of his neck. "If we continue this, it's sure to lead into something else."

Y/N pulled back and looked at him. "It's my birthday week, Jolly, and it's your day. So as my gift, I want you to make love to me right here, right now."

A deep growl emerged from Jolly's chest. His hands slid into her hair, fisting the ends gently before slipping to the back of her neck and pulling her back into him. Y/N wrapped her legs tightly around him, shifting around until she could feel his cock against her entrance. Reaching down into the water, she touched Jolly, watching his eyes darken as she did and slid him inside her, moaning perfectly as she did. Jolly's grip around the back of her neck tightened as she began to ride him under the hot water, making him bite his lip to keep quiet.

"Fuck, Älskling, your pussy feel so good in water like this." The water around them splashed, creating small waves around them. Some spilled out, but it didn't matter to either one of them. "It's so warm. You're like fire inside me, Jolly," she replied breathlessly. He groaned, plunging his tongue into her mouth with force, licking deep. Her tongue tangled with his, fighting for dominance as her fingers dug deep into the muscles in his back.

"Tell me when you're about to come, baby because I'm not going to last much longer." They kept complete eye contact, with Y/N breathlessly saying when she was about to cum, throwing her head back and moaning loud the moment she did. Jolly kept his grip on her neck, thrusting into her until he climaxed, pulling out of her and releasing his cum into the water.

"Well, I guess we'll have to shower now," Y/N laughed, pulling herself back into Jolly's lap. He smiled, nipping her neck with his teeth. "Yup, I guess so."

To Be Continued...

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[totallyveryallosexual]

I see a lot of people say that people self diagnose neurodivergence because it's "quirky" or cool or something, which shows a lack of understanding of self diagnosis that I would like to correct.

1. I personally do not think I have autism because I "saw a tiktok and related to it". I think I have autism because I fulfill the diagnostic criteria that I have looked into extensively. I have sensory difficulties. I get overwhelmed by sound, and light, and the wrong fucking texture un my clothes or food. I was made fun of my entire childhood for "taking things too seriously", and I took what people said at face value, because I took things far too literally. I spent my entire childhood figuring out how to act normal, how to say the right thing at the right time so I wouldn't be made fun of or excluded. I am extremely comforted by various types of stimming, but was punished as a child for anything considered fidgety or abnormal. I love biology, and can infodump to you about genetics (special interest) for hours. This is an interest that can be considered abnormal, and it has consumed most of my available brain space for many years. Also, every single autistic person I've ever met has clocked me in about five seconds and immediately told me I have autism. The truth is, people don't self-diagnose themselves with a highly stigmatized disorder unless it is seriously impacting their lives.

2. Autism, especially in girls and bipoc, is often missed. If they can learn to mask it, it doesn't get diagnosed. I got straight A's all throughout high school, and I had teachers tell me that they thought I had autism, but that it was probably fine because it didn't impact my academics or my life. Spoiler alert: it did! People think that when a seemingly functional person claims to have autism, they are hopping on a trend, but most of the time, they are suffering. I was depressed and sometimes suicidal before I figured out I had autism. I got called a psychopath for things that should have been recognized as symptoms of autism, and a lot of the time I believed it because I didn't have any other words for myself. Our society is shitty and if you aren't a little cis white boy, it's much harder to get diagnosed.

3. Diagnosis is expensive, and hard to access! A lot of people don't realize that it's a privilege! It costs a lot of money to get diagnosed, money that not everyone can afford. It's also hard to get a diagnosis because of social stigma, especially if you figure out you have some form of neurodivergence under the age of 18. I'm a month shy of being a legal adult, and I know that while I'm working towards it, it will be a while before I can get properly tested and diagnosed. My mother, who would scream if she ever saw me wearing noise cancelling headphones in public, is not going to help me get a diagnosis. My mother, who has thrown what can practically be considered temper tantrums over me stimming (literally just tapping my fingers against each other) is not going to help me get a diagnosis. The children of parents who aren't ready to give up their image of a perfect child and think autism can be wished away don't have the same access to diagnosis as the children of parents who are willing to work with them and contribute financially, and neither does any adult who has gotten through life alright but struggles financially because They Have A Disability!!!

In conclusion, don't shame people who diagnosed themselves. I absolutely think the end goal should always be to work toward a professional diagnosis, but that isn't always feasible for people, and we can't sit around slowly drowning in the meantime. If you are worried about self diagnosed people taking away resources: guess what, there are no resources!

Self-diagnosis shouldn't be quick. It comes after a long time spent diving through symptoms and diagnostic criteria. But it gives people without access to diagnosis the ability to nonetheless understand themselves better. For me, it means being able to say "I'm overstimulated, I'm going to find a quiet place" instead of sitting and suffering. It means being able to say "I'm going to sit on the floor instead of my desk, because that grounds me and stops me from spiralling". It means stimming when I'm overwhelmed, and stopping when I need to, all without shaming myself or thinking of myself as lesser for not being able to do things I was told I should be able to.

[grellestie]

Thoughts on Grelle x Ronald

and prayers

actually, here are my full thoughts, THOUGH you're going to need prayers going into it.

Oh, GrelleRon (i think thats what you crazy kids call it lol). I have so many different emotions about it. I feel like it has a LOT of interesting concepts attached to it and things that could really be developed from it! I haven't read fics in a while, but I am SURE some of these have to have been explored at least once or twice. Or I have to finally open docs. . . Scary.

Ronald already has to deal with Grelle as his mentor which is already introducing an interesting dynanic- usually in stories, it's the mentor falling for the mentored but we all know Ronald just wouldn't be her dream man. He's cute, but he's not Will and could never be Will. Maybe she would open up to him a bit after he witnesses her in the middle of a cute girl moment (read: depressive episode).

As nihilistic as it sounds, Grelle knows her end when it comes to relationships. She'll end up with William, become a star, have children, and then her soul will finally lay herself asleep. It's simple. Sure, she'll play around with other men (and women too), but it's all just for fun and to keep her excited! She's gotten herself attached before, but she's learned her lesson - especially after being out into. . . doing chores for a year. But falling for a different reaper could change her mind. It's the ONE species she could fall for and not be in trouble for being with them. . . or just judged ever more so than she already is. Which she wouldn't mind necessarily? But it'd get obnoxious getting called some uncreative name for the umpteenth time, like seriously.

Ultimately, she's keeping him at arms length but does consider him someone she trusts somewhat. But can you really trust someone if you only tell them so much about you? When that facade crumbles, how will you unravel your lies that never seemed to add up in the first place?

Now, for Ronald's perspective, I see him falling for her first. Think about it. This is the only girl that's broken up with Eric first, as well as broken the hearts of SO many other men in favor of Will- who she could do SO much better than, in Ronald's humble opinion. If he could be the one to ultimately sweep her off her feet, do you KNOW how much every guy around him would be jealous?

She's also amazing at her job! kind of! she's one of the stronger reapers in the dispatch and has probably one of the cooler scythes. She also survived a punishment from the Higher-Ups without changing in the slightest. She's also gorgeous! And the only woman to be apart of the Retrieval Division! That's SO cool!

I feel like he would fall for her in a falling for her shadow way- just completely misunderstanding her entirely and falling in love with that rather than who she actually is. He sees her for the woman she portrays herself to be; A strong actress capable of setting the world aflame with her passion alone. A gorgeous woman put against all odds, allowing herself to fall for men like Will when clearly needing a hero rather than a pencil-pusher. He entirely ignores any breakdown or outburst that ruins his image of her because it doesn't fit his version of his Grelle.

That's until her instability gets to an all-time high. He's socially smart for sure, but he's not an expert on the human mind, and Grelle is an enigma all in herself. How could someone jump from a simple mood to thinking the entire world is against you and that the person closest to you only wants you to be a distant memory? Or even just a joke, they tell everyone? That quick switch in emotions would confuse Ronald to NO end. But that just makes him build Grelle to be a needy princess in his mind. She just needs a strong man to keep her out of her own head. But is he even strong enough to handle her?

(SPOILER: Nope. Not one bit. He's witty, but he can't handle her at her worst. Will can, but only because he gets her mindgames while Ronald falls for every single one. Also, Grelle's lies would have to catch up with her at some point, and it heavily depends on what she said and how deep of a hole she's dug for herself. I can only imagine how much Ronald would be willing to let slip by him.

They would have SUCH an interesting dynamic. I just don't think they'd make it as a couple, but they'd make a GREAT case study if you're a psychologist.

[stars-n-spice]

The Dad Batch™ as things my dad has said/done:

Hunter:

asks questions about things and immediately answers himself like he knew the answer already or someone suddenly possessed him to answer himself

the only Korean movies he's ever shown us are war movies that are depressing as FUCK

had a Temu phase and for Christmas bought EVERYONE a blanket from them

explained his relationship with my mom to a coworker as "I live with her"

Mixed up my name with the dog

Had nice, long, beautiful hair but recently got it cut so short that he was depressed and moping for like a day about it even though HE wanted to cut it short

changes his age every time he tells us about when he came to America (he was either 14, 15, or 16)

Echo:

always sings "A Whole New World" for his karaoke song

apparently lied to the Korean embassy about going to America to "study" (has not been back since outside of visits to family)

my mom sent him a grocery list and he responded with "asking too much"

does not understand the words "bruh" or "huzzah" - along with all the other Gen Z slang (that even I don't understand sometimes)

would let me play Candy Crush on his phone but would take it away because I wasn't able to finish the levels and he didn't like me wasting his lives

calls my mom's cat "the baby"

got a PhD in his second language

Wrecker:

snores like a motherfucking freight train and sneezes like he's trying to break the sound barrier

learned how to cook/grill via YouTube (and is actually REALLY good at it)

wanted to show off his taekwondo skills (of which he has NONE) in elementary to a girl and said he'll kick a water bottle off her head - instead he ended up kicking the girl right in the face

Is married to a Mexican and thinks Taco Bell is the best (for some reason???)

Loves opening up presents more than the actual present itself (he'll always say that he doesn't need anything around Fathers Day, his birthday, or Christmas but then when he DOESN'T get anything, he gets upset)

takes a selfie and sends it to the family group chat every time my sister's cat comes to sit with him

Tech:

after his first date with my mom, he bought her a whole case of bottle water and left it at her dorm room door with no note or anything because he noted that she "drank a lot of water" during the date and thought she really liked water

was excused from mandatory Korean military service because his eyesight was so fucking awful, just absolute dogshit (and this was AFTER surgery)

asked if anyone needed to use the restroom on a road trip right before the exit and my younger brother said he needed to and my dad responded with "too bad" and kept driving

While we were watching Lord of the Rings every time I gasped or something during battle scenes or when Legolas did something cool, he went, "Don't worry. I think it's all CGI. That's all computers. It's not real."

Somehow knew his way around Texas the first time he was there after he was sent on a grocery run by my Tíos for a party they were having - y'know, before gps and google maps and shit

Crosshair:

frequently forgets my name and birthday but remembers that my favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip

when my mom asked him where her birthday gift to her from him was one year all he did was cover his face and then did like a "peek-a-boo" motion to claim he was the gift

as a kid he got so upset at dinner once that he flipped the table over and got into so much trouble (claims he doesn't remember why he was so upset)

will ask the cats about their day before asking my mom or my siblings and I about our days

sits in the dark and plays COD on his phone at full volume as a way of unwinding

[ayeliiss]

My two cents on MHA430 and Izuku's character

Disclaimer: this is NOT a hate post against Horikoshi and his manga. Simply, I need to lash my disappointment out somewhere and write my feelings down before I implode. I'm not trying to sound like 'ugh, I know better than them' at all, although I am aware some of my claims may give the 'why does the author think he knows so much?!' vibes, but keep in mind this is just my irrelevant opinion and it won't change anything anyway. So, please, don't come at me with 'lacking reading comprehension' or 'you're coping' (yes, I am) because I feel like fans are allowed to be upset at this ending even if you think differently! To each their own opinion, as long as it's respectful! Also, this might be unnecessarily long so, I apologize in advance.

Discussion about Izuku's character

First of all, if you're satisfied with the ending and what Izuku did/became, I'm genuinely happy for you. Truthfully, I envy you so damn much because I personally couldn't stop feeling empty and crying at night for him, and before you come at me with 'girl, he's fictional, it's okay you'll move on', yes, I know I'm a drama queen and I shouldn't be in one hell of a state for a fictional character, but I can't help it. I've grown as attached to him as I've ever grown to any character before, and there's no turning back. MHA is the first manga that ever moved me this hard and it'll forever remain a masterpiece for me, but it doesn't mean it's not flawed and should be free of criticism (always with respect for Horikoshi's work).

Funny thing is, I didn't even like Izuku when I first met him. He was the typical crybaby and too-optimistic MC I tend to dislike when I read a manga. Yet, the more I read, the more I started to understand him, the more I sympathized with him, and the more I loved him. I realized I related to him to such an outlandish extent, though I know we remain different in the way we act or think. But Izuku, even before Katsuki (and my friends know how obsessed I am with this blond lmao), became my first and greatest over-fixation and my main reason to continue reading/watching MHA. This manga changed my life; Izuku did too, and this isn't an understatement.

Just like him—and probably just like many of us—, I've endured bullying, been made fun of for being different, felt unwanted and hated, been belittled, and treated like shit for most of my teenage years. I think that's what really endeared him to me. I wanted to watch him grow, to watch him make real friends, to watch him receive the apologies and respect he deserved, to see him succeed. I wanted him to realize he was worth it and loved and, oh God, I wish he could know just how much his fans do love him.

And for 200+ chapters, I got what I wanted. Izuku got to live his dream, be around his idol who recognized him, and made new friends who admired him and wanted nothing but to be by his side. Then, the Vigilante arc happened, and everything changed. I won't dwell on the fact that, for me, this arc was the beginning of the decline of his character. It's worth noting though that it's at this precise moment that we've lost track of all his thoughts, but I'll focus on the ending, and how the way Horikoshi handled Izuku's character remains my biggest disappointment.

I sometimes joked with a friend of mine, saying, "Hori's favorite character is Katsuki and it shows so much, he even forgets he isn't his MC!" but I don't think it's much of a joke anymore.

Again, I'm very happy for those who are pleased with Izuku's closure. But, honestly, I can't grasp their process of thinking (I wish I could) because there's no way I can understand how it makes sense. It's not about him being quirkless—actually, I think this choice was cool—, it's about his obvious fucking depression.

After his initial withdrawal, there is never any resolution. He has never talked about his feelings to anyone, never opened up about all the things that bugged him, never taken it out on anyone. He just stopped having development, and never learned how to 'control his heart' (one of the biggest plots of the story, remember???). So, he continues to take everything up on his shoulders by the end of the story, and eight years later, he is feeling lonely, as he says himself:

Yes, I can read, and I know he's also saying he's happy with helping/encouraging other people. But it's literally denial. Izuku is in denial and it hurts me so much. He's alone (I'm not talking about how he's barely seen his friends, I know they didn't abandon him or anything, I'm talking about how he is feeling in general), deprived of his dream, and never got to talk about it to anyone (at least, on-screen. And if it's not shown, then it didn't happen). Even the adults around him don't see he's in pain—or, at least, don't think it's worth addressing. Aizawa can't even simply answer 'yes, you're cool' when Izuku obviously seeks praise and needs nice words after everything he's been through. He doesn't even get fans (except for two, waouh!) after saving the fucking world. He doesn't get a statue, no recognition. Katsuki leads a project for him to get a suit, but not the government? After everything he did? Why isn't he more recognized and acknowledged for his hard work? Killing him would've almost felt like a better choice lol (#it's a joke).

Even if, in the end, he gets to join his friends again and be a hero with them, he's still not opening up. How is it sane/healthy for him???? How will he even be able to maintain good relationships of any kind if there are already so many and huge miscommunication issues?

I hate this—I dislike how it's basically saying 'his feelings weren't that important!'. Izuku deserved better, a better closure. So much is missing from him; from this bitter ending, and I can't find any way to make myself feel better or to cope with it.

I am devastated, I feel empty for him, I just want someone to take him to therapy, to help him.

Some rumors have started to spread, about how 'Horikoshi has been forced to shorten his manga' but I don't believe this—MHA has been SJ's money-maker for a while. And even if it were to be true, the epilogue could've been handled differently. Hori could've focused on the most important parts (that he hasn't even shown/resolved at all) and left the irrelevant ones out (why introduce a new character if not to make us feel hopeful to see Tenko again, lol). He chose to not address the most important aspects of his story (including his MC's resolution and growth) and left us with huge plot holes. And now, we're stuck with our imagination, as usual.

I just can't with 'open endings' and 'it's left to interpretation' stuff. It's too easy to do that. I'm tired of mangakas not taking risks, rushing their own plots, and not digging deeper into their own MCs' traumas. I don't know what happened, but among the many issues left regarding this last chapter, Izuku's conclusion remains my greatest ick. I'm so sorry to say this, but Izuku didn't grow. He never learned from his mistakes and just didn't change—oh wait. Yes, he did change on one crucial aspect—his biggest trait, being obsessed with his childhood friend, totally disappeared! Maybe he started to stop caring about 'Kacchan and the others' and put himself first, to the point of forgetting the said childhood friend died twice for him, who knows? :))) (yeah, I'm especially pissed off at this lol don't mind me).

In my imagination, I see him being a pro-hero who continues to suppress his feelings and continues to act recklessly, to risk his life in the face of any danger that shows up. This is what happens when you leave it to fans' imagination, after all.

I know fanfictions exist, and I'm very happy this unclear ending motivated some writers to challenge their creativity. For me, it had the opposite effect. I'm disgusted, I am angry at Izuku and I know I'll struggle to finish my fics where he's involved because I don't want to deal with his character anymore. I'm too attached to canonical representation.

Man, I'm just devastated. I have no other words. And I'll have to live with this for the rest of my life. I feel betrayed. Shitted on. I'm dying inside and there's nothing I can do because it's over. Just like this long-ass essay, btw lol. Thank you if you're still here, thank you if you've read this! I'm pretty much open to discussion so if anyone wants to try and reassure me over some aspects or respectfully explain why I am wrong (I know I probably am, yet again those are my own feelings), please don't hesitate to do so. Also, I definitely need friends with whom I could talk about this deeper... so, my DMs are open too if you'd like to!

Much love to Izuku though; one of the best MCs I've encountered in my life, despite how he turned.

[marionluth]

I'm working on a new story based on an awesome prompt given in the Iron Dad: Readers and Writers discord.

The prompt is basically: Peter dresses up as a Goth for Halloween. Tony doesn't realize it is Halloween and thinks he's going through a goth face for real and wants to be supportive. Comedic chaos ensues.

Excerpt (first draft, don't judge too much pretty please! I was just really excited to share something 😁 ) 👇

TW: theres mention of depression and self harm as scientific studies findings. Not as something any of the characters in the excerpt or particular fic struggles with. Still mentioning it just to be safe. This whole story is entirely crack-taken-seriously.

[...] Tony reached for his coffee mug and downed a generous gulp before turning to Happy, invoking his patience. “I sent you for the kid, Happy. Where’s Pete?”

“He’s coming, but you gotta play it cool.”

“I… What?”

“You gotta play it cool, okay? Don’t come at the kid. Teenagers are like that, they do stupid things all the time. So, just remember to play it cool and definitely don’t laugh,” Happy said hastily, looking behind his shoulder as if worried Peter would hear his weird little speech.

Tony could tell Happy could barely hold it together. His friend was ready to burst into his thundering belly-laugh and Tony brought the mug to his lips again, knowing he’d need a lot of caffeine to take whatever was coming. His sleep-deprived brain jumped to Spider-Man. Maybe the kid had skipped school to patrol? But then again Peter never skipped school. Maybe the kid found some action before coming here and got injured? But Happy knew Tony would never laugh over an injury. That was Peter’s thing. He didn’t have time to contemplate this any further, as the doors of the lab slid open and Tony watched Peter stepping inside.

He sputtered in his mug and felt his eyes bulging, but Happy cleared his throat, and Tony immediately schooled his expression. Slowly lowering the cup, he wiped droplets of coffee from his face with the back of his hand.

“Hey, kid,” he managed, his eyes taking in Peter head to toe. Jesus Christ. Was this karma? This should definitely be karma. And MJ. This was one hundred percent MJ influenced. Damnit, he might need to have words with that girl.

“Hey, Mr. Stark.”

Happy exhaled loudly through his nose and Tony knew the man would burst out in laughter any second now. Sure enough a second later Happy snickered which he immediately tried to cover with a cough.

Tony slowly turned to glare at him. Oh, so he could laugh? “You okay there, Hap? Need some water or anything?”

“No, nope,” Happy managed after clearing his throat, his tone too mirthful for Tony’s liking. “Just something in my throat. All good now.”

“Right, Hap, thanks for the update. We’ll call you when it’s time to take Peter home,” Tony said trying to sound his usual self, but his mind was still in a daze at what he was seeing. If Happy hadn’t come in to warn him, he’d be entirely sure he was hallucinating.

Happy scurried out of the lab, and Peter walked towards Tony and looked up at him, waiting. Tony stared down at the kid, still trying to process.

Peter smacked his black-tinted lips. “So what are we doing today?”

The question gave Tony something to grab on and he immediately turned his attention to the computer. “I am writing a new code to fix an issue with the new drone. Wanna jump in?”

“Sure Mr. Stark,” Peter bobbed his head and a strand of raven black hair fell on his white-makeup covered forehead.

Tony stepped aside to give Peter the floor and let out a slow breath, finally having the chance to take in the kid’s appearance without Peter knowing. Black dyed hair, full-on goth makeup complete with dark eyeshadow, eyeliner and black lipstick. Black leather jacket, a band t-shirt (who the hell were Bauhaus?), ripped black jeans, weathered black converse shoes. A goddamn piercing on his left ear and another above his right eyebrow.

Tony found himself swerving between worried, amused, and entirely out of his water.

“Keep working on that and I’ll be right, back, kid,” he told Peter, who turned to look at him questioningly. “Coffee refill,” Tony said, raising his mug. “We’re all out down here, so I’ll fetch some from upstairs. I’ll get you some hot chocolate and snacks too.”

“Sounds good, Mr. Stark. Thank you.”

Tony rushed out of the lab and headed to the elevator, letting out an audible huff when the doors closed behind him.

“FRIDAY has my kid turned emo?”

“Peter’s attire and makeup is not emo, but goth, boss.”

“Give me dets and if I have anything to worry about, FRI.”

“Goth is a subculture that emerged in the late 1970s, characterized by dark, mysterious, and often romantic aesthetics. It includes fashion elements like black clothing, dramatic makeup, and accessories, as well as music genres such as goth rock and post-punk. There have been a few studies indicating that teenagers who identified with the goth subculture were more likely to experience depression and engage in self-harm.”

Tony blanched.

“The kid might have depression? Might self-harm?”

“Correlation does not imply causation, boss. A lot of teenagers choose the goth style and subculture as a form of expressing individuality.”

“Ok, you know the drill. Parenting forums, parenting experts, scan and tell me what do I do?”

“The consensus is this is likely a phase, boss. And that you should remain supportive to Peter’s chosen form of self-expression. A lot of parents stress that in their experience if you don’t make a big deal out of it, it will likely pass sooner.”

“Okay. Okay, Tony, you can do this. You’ve built a suit of armor in a cave with a box of scraps. You can handle a goth phase. Cause this just it, a phase. I remain supportive. I don’t make fun of him. I don’t make a big deal out of it. Solid plan.”