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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years ago

Note

Dropping in to say your drabbles are precious gems <3

And if you're up for another little prompt: Katniss surprising Peeta - up to you what that surprise is!

Ummm sorry I meant to have Katniss surprise Peeta but it got switched in the middle of writing this because it seemed too in character that Peeta would know first !!!

And also this like became v emotional when it wasn’t supposed to be but idk what I was thinking when I came up with this idea because how would this moment not be emotional ???? 🤣🤣🤣 well anyways I hope you like it just the same!

“Peeta,” I mumble sleepily as his lips touch the side of my face in greeting.

“How’s my sweet girl?” He asks, his hand gently brushing aside my hair.

“I’m feeling just about the same,” I say but make an honest attempt to avoid sounding like I’m complaining. Even now, not many people in this country — let alone in District Twelve — could afford to laze around their home for three days straight. A few years ago, neither could I.

Peeta tugs me to roll over and face him, his lips moving now to my forehead, traveling from one side to the other, planting a dozen kisses along the way.

For the last few days I have been absolutely exhausted, and may be a little cranky. Constantly nauseous and at several points violently ill. Unable to eat any of the meat I’ve recently hunted. And incredibly over-emotional over the fact.

In fact, when I had to toss out the remains of a turkey I recently shot, Peeta had to console me before I burst into tears over it.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” He whispers, moving to kiss my mouth before I jerk my head away.

“Peeta, I don’t want you to get sick too.” After all, who would take care of me?

Okay, I didn’t mean that. I don’t want Peeta to get sick, frankly because it scares me to death. In some part because illness still makes me cringe and I’m still not healer like my mother and Prim. But mainly because it just serves to remind me of almost losing him in our first games, before I even really knew him.

But for some reason, my anxious statement makes him smirk. I wait for him to make some dumb joke, to poke fun at me, the way he always does like clockwork, but instead he makes better uses of his lips and presses them to my chin gently for a long moment before moving downwards towards my throat.

I sigh in happiness, in pure and utter contentment, relaxing back against the pillows and our mattress, enjoying the sensation of being kissed without worrying I’m going to pass whatever mysterious illness I obtained from the woods. That I magically got without interacting with almost anyone in the last six days.

I mean, I suppose it’s possible I caught it more than a week ago while helping Peeta at the bakery when he was short staffed, but it seems unlikely that I’d be the only one ill.

I close my eyes and try to stop thinking of who to blame for my current predicament. I relax back further into the mattress, trying to enjoy being showered with affection when Peeta decides to ruin the moment himself.

“So I called your mother this afternoon,” he starts, only able to get a sentence out before I’m interjecting.

“You want to talk about my mother? While kissing me?”

“She had some idea of what has you feeling so awful,” he continues as if I hadn’t spoken.

My brows knit together in confusion. Yes, she’s a talented healer who’s been doing it for most of her life, if not her entire life. But to diagnose me based on a phone call from my husband doesn’t sound like her.

Before I can press him though for more details, Peeta holds up a small, white paper bag that is specific to the pharmacy Twelve decided to add in when the town was rebuilt.

“Did she tell you to get a special medicine?” It doesn’t seem likely, since my mother is more about herbal remedies than the kind the Capitol used far too often for things as light as a common cold.

Peeta starts smirking at me again though and abruptly I get irritated. “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Katniss, I think you’re pregnant,” he blurts out, his grin only growing larger now.

And I’m instantly shocked into place, unsure how I didn’t guess this already myself. All my symptoms add up to it. And I’ve seen countless pregnant women that my mother treated when I was a kid. I know the signs well enough.

And Peeta and I recently decided to stop being careful and to see what happens.

But that was only like nine weeks ago that we agreed to that and I’m in my thirties and it’s not supposed to be so easy to get pregnant and I’m suddenly I’m sitting up too quickly and my heart is racing and I feel nauseous once again.

Peeta though sees my reaction and moves to cradle me close in his arms. “Hey, I’m sorry,” he says but I can still see the elation in his eyes even as I avoid them now. “I didn’t mean to shock you like that. And we don’t even know if it’s true yet-“

“It is,” I suddenly assert with full confidence. “I’ve been cramping but never got my period. And it’s never been this late before.”

I chance a glance up at Peeta, feeling absolutely terrified but not wanting to bring him down with my fears.

He doesn’t seem surprised though by my anxious demeanor and he lifts me up into his lap as easily as he lifts over his shoulder the same flour sacks I have to drag. “I know you’re scared, Katniss.”

I shrug it off but suddenly my eyes are watering uncontrollably and I curse my stupid hormones and stupid fears and my stupid brain for not knowing sooner than I was pregnant.

After all, who’s husband knows before them?

“Don’t cry, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers, leaning down to kiss me again, this time on my lips as there’s clearly no danger of spreading my sickness to him now.

“I’m sorry, I know I should be happy,” I immediately stammer out but he just shakes his head insistently.

“Katniss, I’m scared too. But it’s going to be okay. I promise you, everything will be okay.” His eyes, so blue and gentle and loving, bring on another round of tears and I find myself turning to hug myself around his neck, burrowing my face in his chest, where I can hear his heartbeat against my ear.

It’s there that I feel the most safe. It’s there I feel safe to voice my greatest trepidation. “What if we can’t protect them, Peeta?”

His lips brush my forehead again now. “We can. We will. Katniss, we have each other. Me and you and this baby — that hopefully really is inside of you or else we’re making a big deal over nothing.” I choke out a laugh at his words, sounding like a manic with how quickly my emotions are shifting. “And we have the book.”

The memory book. The book me and Peeta made years ago to commemorate the people we knew and loved and lost. The book we read to each other on the darkest of days, that we are careful to persevere and protect the same way we wish we had been able to protect the people depicted within the book itself.

“We can make this baby understand the things we’ve seen in a way that’ll only make them stronger and wiser. Me and you can give this baby a beautiful life, Katniss. I know it.” I search my husband’s eyes, the eyes I’ve been searching in for almost seventeen years now, and find nothing but truth in his gaze.

“I wouldn’t do this with anyone else,” I whisper, turning my head now to press a kiss to his chest. “I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else in the entire world.”

#everlark #daydreamsandcaffeine 🌊☀️#asks ��#my drabbles #my writing #thank you for sending!!!

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coutelier · 2 years ago

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At some point I realized my main WIP, Irongate (for now – I don’t know if I’ll change it again, but I’ll have to decide soon), is basically me writing about my life. I was a mostly happy kid who loved Dinosaurs, Fantasy and Sci-Fi, and intrigued by the mysteries of the paranormal – and all the main characters share those interests to varying degrees.

But then I became a teenager. I was actually terrified of becoming a teenager, because I knew I was different from most my peers. I had little interest in sports (I’m not actually against it, but being sports fans seemed to frequently turn people in family into idiots and why watch something if it doesn’t make you happy?), but was interested in coins, insects, trains, as well as the other stuff mentioned above – a basic nerdy kid. But when you are a child your peers are more accepting of weirdness as it’s less ingrained in them what normal should be. That changes as you get older – suddenly a lot more rules and expectations, mistakes and failures remembered and held against you more. At the time I couldn’t make sense of all the unwritten rules, so I withdrew into myself more and more. This resulted in fewer friends, bullying, and depression. I even stopped going to school at one point, instead just going off to the country to read on my own. When I was there teachers thought I never paid attention (and admittedly often I wasn’t and fumbled if I was suddenly pulled out of my world by an unrelated question), but I still did very well on written exams. Anyway, this part of my life is personified by the character of Jennifer Airhart (although for her the transition from being a happy child to a miserable teen is marked by the disappearance of her parents).

I left school and went to college, but classroom learning still didn’t agree with me. I tried different jobs, but still I found it hard to relate to anyone, leading to depression again, accompanied by frustration, bitterness, and stress, so I never stayed in any job for very long (Kaya Cade personifies this part that thinks they want get along and lead a normal life, but this whole rat race thing is BS. What’s the point of it if it doesn’t make you happy?).

SPOILER – In the story, Jennifer discovers she isn’t human but designed in a lab by her father. Her reaction is pretty much ‘Oh. Actually, a lot of my life makes a lot more sense now’. Which again I think parallels what happened with me when I was diagnosed with autism.

#writing #writeblogging #writeblr #writers on tumblr #personal #autism

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thechangeling · 4 years ago

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Tell me a story

Ty doesn't believe in fate.

A shout out to @ilikebooks8 for convincing me to make a fanfic about autistic!Eleanor Blackthorn. Autism is genetic so it makes sense for Ty to have autistic ancestors. If you are autistic I guarentee you have someone in your family who is also autistic they just haven't been diagnosed yet. For me, I've got my dad.

Cw: mentions of ableism, abuse and the death of a minor character. Very anti Andrew Blackthorn.

"Tell me a story," Tiberius' asked, in that mature, matter- of-fact way he spoke. Ty was only eight but already he sounded like a boy twice his age in terms of his vocabulary and the way he spoke.

Although he still had the voice of a child which was rather amusing. Eleanor turned to face her son with a groan as she felt searing pain shoot through her bones. She had been laying down all day due to feeling extremely unwell. The noises and lights of the outside world were especially brutal, but she had gotten used to it overtime. She had learned to cope. To smile and nod and make eye contact. To control her movements and still her hands and laugh at their jokes.

Eleanor played the part of the proper shadowhunter and the dutiful wife, the attentive mother. It didn't matter that it had changed her. Had completely turned her into a different person, someone harsher and colder. Someone who was so quick to anger and venomous hatred.

Someone who only knew how to be in pain.

She always tried to not let that side of her show to her children. They didn't deserve it. But the past few weeks in particular had been brutal. Her body felt broken and it was becoming harder and harder to put up that facade.

She faced Ty with the best fake smile she could muster. "Which story would you like to hear?" He climbed up on the bed beside her and sat down in an odd twisted position where his legs were in a W position. He began tapping his hands on his knees as he appeared to contemplate his choices.

Eleanor could remember a time when she was younger when she used to do that. Before her parents had stopped her. She knew she should really tell Tiberius off to discourage him from doing these things in public. He was so blatent and open in a way that frightened and almost angered her. There was no telling what kind of reaction The Clave might have.

She didnt want him to end up with the dregs, or worse.

"I don't know," Ty said finally scrunching up his eyebrows. "I can't think of one right now. Could you make one up?" Eleanor smiled in spite of herself. She had always loved making up stories ever since she was a kid. She had always been a creative person, painting and drawing as often as she could. Shadowhunters didn't really appreciate a creative streak.

Eleanor nodded. "Ok sure, let's see." She took a breath, trying to ignore the agony spreading through her back and shoulders. "Once upon a time there was a prince who was trapped in a tower that was guarded by an evil ogar. The prince had been rumored to have special powers so he was forced by his parents to stay locked away in the tower forever to keep him safe. He wasnt allowed to make friends with any other children so he grew up alone. Teaching himself how to read and write and playing games to amuse himself."

Ty rolled his eyes. "Isn't that rather cliche? The whole prince trapped in a tower story? I've definitely heard that before."

Eleanor laughed. "Where did you hear the word cliche Tiberius?" Ty shrugged, not seeing the amusement in the situation.

"It was in a book. Can you keep going?" He whined impatiently. "I wanna hear the rest."

Eleanor sighed, shaking her head good naturedly. "Alright then. So the prince was trapped for a very long time. Then one day a mysterious adventurer came exploring nearby the tower."

"Can it be a detective?" Ty interrupted, bouncing up and down. He had been obsessed with Clue lately.

"Alright sure, it was a detective. He was searching the answers to a murder mystery. The murder of a young women." Ty instantly looked interested. Perhaps murder was not the best subject for a story being told to an eight year old, but Ty was a shadowhunter. They were trained to deal with blood and death.

"His was searching for information and came across the tower," she continued. So he decided to investigate. He snuck passed the ogar and into the tower, where he was ambushed by the prince!"

Ty gasped excitedly, wriggling in place. "What happened next? Did they fight?"

Eleanor opened her mouth to continue, but then the bedroom door flew open, startling them both.

It was Andrew. Instantly Ty shrunk himself down, hunching his shoulders. Eleanor knew that Ty didn't always get along with his father but she knew Andrew still loved him deep down. He glared at them both.

"Ty your mother is meant to be resting," he said pointedly.

Eleanor shook her head. "Oh no it's alright. He wasn't bothering me." Andrew didn't seem to hear her.

"Tiberius let's go," he said harshly. Ty hesitated for a moment, looking up at her.

"But I wanna hear the rest of the story!" He protested. "I wanna know what happens to the prince!" Eleanor sighed solemnly. She didn't want to disappoint Ty, but she was feeling pretty worn out.

"Another time baby," she assured him. "I promise."

But unfortunately she never got the chance. She never got the chance because little did they know, Eleanor Blackthorn had cancer. Something that silent brothers couldn't cure. Something that shadowhunters were powerless against.

"What are you thinking about ?" Kit murmered from his spot curled up against Ty's chest. His breath tickled Ty's chin.

Ty paused, not quite sure how to answer. They were lying on the roof of the LA institute again. It was their special spot. Kit had suggested a night of star gazing for a date since the weather was nice.

Things has been a little weird between them lately. Kit had been pretending that everything was fine and he was unfazed, but Ty could tell that something was bothering him. And he had a feeling he knew what it was.

At Magnus and Alec's anniversary party, Jace made a joke about how Kit and Ty would probably be the next ones to get married and Ty immediately went into a blind panic. He completely froze up at the mention of marriage. At the mention of him getting married. His body instantly went into a complete overload almost as if he was on the verge of a meltdown.

He didn't take the time to think about any of it. He just snapped and yelled that he wasn't getting married. That he wasn't ever getting married. Ty wasnt even sure where it came from. Kit was pretending like it wasnt a big deal but Ty knew he was hurting. He could tell.

Ty traced a pattern across Kit's arm. "Honestly it was nothing," he assured him. "I just-." Ty stared at Kit, studying his face. The curve of his lips, the adorable blush of his cheeks and the tiny beauty mark under his eye that Ty loved to fixate on. Everything ached, but it was a good kind of ache.

Ty loved him.

"I just want to stay like this forever," he murmered. "Here with you, where I feel safe and warm. And loved." Ty nuzzled his nose against Kit's. "I want to be with you forever."

Kit smiled distantly before breaking into a slight frown. "Then why don't you wanna marry me?" He asked sadly. And Ty could instantly hear the old ghosts of self loathing and insecurity still haunting Kit's thoughts.

Ty sighed. "It has nothing to do with you I promise. I just really don't want to get married and I'm not even fully certain of why exactly."

Kit stroked his cheek slowly. "Is it the idea of a big wedding? Because we don't have to do that you know. We can totally just skip it," he said assuredly.

Ty shook his head. "That's part of it but it isn't the only reason." He paused to contemplate what exactly it was that was making him feel this way, feel so afraid.

Strangely enough, Ty kept coming back to his mother. His mother who was always a little peculiar in private. Who always seemed sad and exhausted even before the silent brothers diagnosed her. Who was constantly going along with whatever her husband wanted for whatever reason. Because she assumed he knew what he was doing? Because she didn't want to make waves in a society so rigid and obsessed with conformity?

Ty had been considering it more and more lately.

He sat up, displacing Kit from where he was resting. "I think my mother was like me," Ty admitted in a shakey voice. "I think she was autistic and that's why she ended up in the situations she did."

"Ok?" Kit looked confused. "But that still doesn't explain-."

Ty interrupted him. "She was trying so hard to fit in and do the right thing and she would just let him control her. She kept compromising for him because she thought that's what she was supposed to do and also because despite it all I think she really loved him! And it made her so stupid!" Ty shouted.

"I just don't want to become trapped like that," he confessed.

Kit was silent for a moment, just staring at him with a puzzled expression. "Ok, but Ty you realize that I'm not your dad right? Like I would never try and control you or make you into something you're not. I'm not trying to own you, I'm trying to love you!" He argued. "Ty, marriage isnt supposed to trap you. It's about making our relationship into an Offical legal thing that everyone's forced to acknowledge and accept."

Kit took Ty's hand in his. "It's about making each other family."

Ty looked away. He couldn't meet Kit's eyes when he was staring at him looking so hopeful and desperate. It did strange things to Ty's insides. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrunching up his face along with his fists for a moment before letting go.

"I just don't want to let someone have power over me in that way," he explained. Kit sighed, then smiled softly before leaning forward to rest his forehead against Ty's. Ty let out a little moan as he let the tension release from his body with a sigh. Kit placed his hand over Ty's heart.

"But don't you get it Ty?" He asked softly. "You already have, whether you meant to or not. I'm in your system sweetheart, in your blood just like you're in mine." Ty felt him smile. "Like we were made for each other. Like we've spent our entire lives waiting for each other."

Ty pulled away from him. "No I don't believe that," he stated firmly. "I don't believe in fate or destiny or soulmates. I think it's an overt romanticization of life and the human condition which can have disastrous consequences. It leads people to believe that they are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner which is incredibly problematic." Ty realized he was probably going on a bit of a tangent as he was known to do. But he couldn't be bothered to care.

Kit pouted a little. "Yeah I get that. But I don't know. I like to romanticize things in life. After everything that I've been through, I guess it just makes things feel better you know?" Kit glanced at him hopefully."I don't care if you don't believe in any of those things. I do. And despite what you might believe, you aren't always right about everything," Kit said pointedly.

Ty scowled at him. Kit was undeterred. "And I get that you're coming at this from a scary trauma place. I understand that. I have those too. But you don't have to be afraid of me," he pleaded.

Ty couldn't resist reaching out and touching him, pushing a curly lock of hair behind his ear. "Can I maybe think about it?" Kit smiled and snuggled up against Ty's chest again. "Of course," he murmered. Ty leaned back and resumed his earlier position, staring up at the sky.

He nuzzled his face against Kit's hair. "I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore," said Ty.

Kit snorted, turning to face Ty. "I'm never mad at you love. It's pretty much impossible." Ty grinned and leaned forward to kiss him slowly, savoring the feeling of Kit's lips against his.

Kit broke off and kissed Ty's cheek, then his orbital bone. Ty giggled and closed his eyes which prompted Kit to place a kiss on each of his eyelids.

"I love every inch of you," Kit whispered. Ty couldn't speak. He was too overwhelmed. He just wrapped his arms around Kit even tighter and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

They lay in peaceful silence for several moments before Kit spoke.

"Tell me a story."

In case you missed it, the story Eleanor was telling Ty is the story of kitty in Lady Midnight basically. Also. Not me projecting my fear of marriage onto my comfort character! 😂

Tag list: (lmk if you wanna be added/removed) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @heloisacosta23 @adoravel-fenomeno @eutonyinwhisper

#tsc #tda #the dark artifices #kit x ty #twp #cw mentions of ableism #cw mentions of abuse #cw minor character death #tiberius nero blackthorn #kit herondale #eleanor blackthorn

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kuroo-shitsurou · 4 years ago

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Auxilium (College!Xiao x College!Reader)

TW: mentions blood, depression, anxiety

note: it's my first time writing and posting something on tumblr so im sorry if it's bad!! reader is gn hehe.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick. Humans make decisions that eventually shape their personalities. What does a new year have anything to do with that? Does a change in the year automatically make you a good person? Does it make you less of an asshole than you might already be? He never really understood.

He found it rather silly, actually. Whenever a new year rolls around, Xiao would mutter silent curses to himself because he'd write the wrong year on his papers. Other than that, there wasn't any significant changes he made in his daily routine. He was still the same Xiao; The same anxious, mildly depressed, and coffee-high art major Xiao.

Now, Xiao was a respected figure in their college (or at least, that's what he was told). He was one of the most talented artists at Tokyo University, and professors have been eyeing him for a scholarship overseas (he, along with his brooding and mysterious senior, Diluc). His keen eye for details always produce great results as most of his portraits are featured in the university's gallery of students' greatest works. Not to mention, one of his larger canvas works were displayed at the Tokyo Museum, making him one of the youngest artists to have their art showcased there.

Admittedly, Xiao was aware of how people admired his talent. Unfortunately, due to a rough childhood where his parents barely showed him any love and affection, he had trouble reflecting his true emotions onto other people. That's why other art majors often labelled him as a self-absorbed, egotistical prick.

Xiao was the last person you'd want to compliment. It's not that he'd be a dick about it or that he'd scowl at you and act as if he was better than you in every way possible. It wasn't like that at all. It's simply because Xiao doesn't know how to handle compliments. He'll still keep his stoic face, lips pressed in a straight line, but deep inside, he'd be flustered to bits. He'd try to internalize his reply, stitching together the right words to express his gratitude, but it would always take him a few minutes. The person who complimented him would've already left after he finally constructed the sentence in his head. Not that he wasn't used to it

This led to Xiao earning his current reputation, as stated earlier. He was already expecting the rest of his college years to be spent alone in his studio, working on his artworks during the wee hours of the night, high on the fumes of his paint palette and his exhausted coffee machine.

Until you came.

Kaoru was... eccentric. You were loud, you were moody. He felt like you'd be the type of person he'd hate dealing with just because you was unpredictable. You were like the rain, and Xiao hated the rain.

He must have an Archon's cursed tongue, because he got paired up with you during the first semester of their second year in college. You were a familiar name to him, as you were in the same course since the first year, but he barely knew anything about you since you were in different classes.

"Hey, Xiao! I'm _____. I hope we can be good friends by the end of the semester!" His memory of your bright smile still remains vivid in his head. He wasn't really a brooding type like Diluc, but Xiao liked to believed that he presented himself as a silent person who had no intentions of interacting with other people. So, how were you so bubbly around him? Because she was forced to do so? You were to be his partner for the whole semester, after all. Maybe it was all formalities. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hm." Xiao gave a nod in her direction, acknowledging your existence. you heard from your friends that the young artist didn't have a pleasing personality, but you weren't expecting to be shutdown from the get-go.

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

Again, a light nod.

You felt the awkward tension between you and Xiao, and you hated it. You were a person who hated it when people are uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't want to be a bother, and you did your best to make everyone like you. Not that you were a people pleaser, nor an attention hog, but you just wanted to get along with everyone.

The lecture was going to begin in twenty minutes, so the lecture hall was yet to be filled with people. You took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with the amber eyed man beside you, who was typing away on his laptop. Something about color theory and how it affects the perspective of people on different art types? You couldn't really see that well. He was a fast typer.

"So, Xiao, I heard that your painting was displayed in the Tokyo Museum last year. It must have been an honor. I was at the unveiling last year and I saw it up-close." You started off, testing the waters.

"And what did you think of it?" Xiao cringed internally. He meant to genuinely ask for your feedback regarding his art, but it sounded so harsh that he wanted to punch himself when he saw you wince (or maybe you shuddered because it was cold and you were wearing a sleeveless top? His nerves were getting the better of him at this point).

"Well, a lot of my friends told me that it wasn't anything special,"

Ouch.

"It was a large canvas. I can still remember how it looks. But, maybe that's because I'm at the museum every two weeks," You laughed. You noticed how Xiao's breathing noticeably changed after you started your sentence, and you have to admit that it sounded a bit too mean.

"You know, Xiao. My friends told me that your art was simple. Anyone could have done it. But honestly, they couldn't be more wrong. I love how your piece was painted. Auxilium. I'll never forget what you called it. That's... Help, right?"

At first, Xiao didn't want to listen to this person ramble about an art piece he made during one of the lowest points of his life.

His anti-depressants had run out during that one Christmas. It was 2:47 in the morning. He had morning classes the following day. He had a project to submit, but he was unable to continue working because of the unbearable pain in his chest. His head was throbbing. Voices were invading his mind. Flashbacks of his parents' negligence taunted him. He rushed to grab a glass of water, chugging it down in almost three chugs. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, smashing it into tiny little splinters and cutting himself in the process. His hand was bleeding, there were bits of glass on his counter and on his floor, but he couldn't care less. He was heaving, his breathing was unsteady, he wanted to die right then and there. His vision became blurry, but he rushed back to his studio.

With a bleeding hand, he picked up his brush and began to tear into his canvas. Not literally, but he started to create strokes onto the blank canvas. Different colors, different textures (he swore some of his blood got blended in with the area where he painted the sunrise, but it's fine. No one was going to notice, right?). He screamed and cried, wanting to throw the entire easel out his window.

It was Christmas. He was alone in his apartment. His anti-depressants ran out. He was having a panic attack.

That night led him to having one of the worst breakdowns he could remember, but he also ended up with a gorgeous painting that nabbed him a place in the Tokyo Museum.

"Help," Your voice echoed in his ears, snapping him out of his trance.

"People can tell me that it's nothing more than a simple painting, but the way that the sunrise was only showing in a segmented part of the canvas? The way that there were hints of red? It kind of reminded me how a new day can resemble hope but still contain hurt. Like, the promise of a fresh start isn't guaranteed a good one, right?"

Your words rang in his ears like a gong being hit continuously. He wanted to cry. People always complimented him and congratulated him about being recognized by art critics and national museums, but none of them ever really stopped to talk to him about his art. They were there for his recognition- not his work.

"I mean, you could begin with a fresh start, but wouldn't the remnants of yesterday still take a toll on your tomorrow?"

"Hm. Interesting take. To be honest, those specks could have been my blood." Xiao spoke up, to your surprise. A small smile formed on your face. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

"My hand was cut up when I was painting that," He added quietly, not mentioning why his hand was in that state. "I think I accidentally added too much concentrated red. I couldn't blend it out the way I originally planned."

"Oh? But that makes it all the more great, though!" You beamed, "Maybe it was an Archon guiding you? I don't really believe in that stuff, but acknowledging some divine intervention once in a while can't be all bad, no?" You laughed.

"I guess you're right." For the first time in a while, Xiao actually gave someone else a small smile. It wasn't really a smile per se, but his lips curved even the slightest bit upward, and you decided that it was a win for you.

Fast forward to the second semester of their third year.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It had been years since he was clinically-diagnosed with mild depression. So, why was he still that way? Shouldn't new years help him be a better person? Or something like that. Why was he still like this?

Late February meant the end of one semester, and the start of another.

What else did that mean?

His semestral feedback report (he refused to call it a report card. What was he, high school?).

"Xiao? Are you here? I bought almond tofu from Xiangling's place. Sorry for barging in, you weren't answering my calls." He heard your voice from the kitchen and he glanced at the clock on his studio's wall.

1:37 AM.

You were at Xiangling's place because you were working on a report about the history of acrylic paints or whatever it was. You were supposed to go home, but you still dropped by his apartment. He checked his phone.

[ 14 missed calls. ]

Yikes.

"I'm here." He answered meekly, but loud enough for you to hear. He felt tired. Defeated, maybe. He was blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. He has sketched the base of your face and upper body. He was planning on painting a portrait of his beloved to decorate his room with, but he couldn't find the energy to continue.

He could hear the soft "thud"s of your feet walking from the kitchen towards the studio, but he tuned it out with an annoying static he could only hear in his head.

Fuck. Where are they?

He rushed to the drawer next to his easels and rummaged around in a panic.

Where the fuck are they?

He kept a few anti-depressants in his studio because he spends most of his time here and he didn't have time to rush to the kitchen to get them if he ever got a panic attack.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing the contents of his desk onto the floor. Some of his paintbrushes scattered on the wooden floor of his studio, marking the wood various colors. Maybe they're going to stain, but he didn't really care.

Xiao heard the footsteps retreating until he couldn't hear anything else except the constant ringing in his ears. It was annoying. It was loud. It started to make him want to split his head open.

"_____," He whispered, feeling his chest hurt and his throat tighten. The passageways helping him breathe seemed to close themselves, giving him a hard time and mocking him. It was coming back again.

Tears started to flood his vision, and they rolled down his red cheeks. He took the ponytail out of his hair and used two hands to tug at his locks starting from the roots. His breathing patterns became more erratic, but he tried his best to stay calm.

His knees and legs felt like jelly. He had to lean against the desk to avoid from toppling over.

Why? Why again? Why now? Why when you were here?

He screamed. It was loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but his care for any external entities was out the window the moment his eyes became blurry with tears.

Even though he was leaning against the desk, his legs still couldn't hold the weight of his entire body. His knees dropped to the floor, and he swore he must've dented the wood below, but he paid no mind to it. His knees were also aching, but he could deal with that later. He bent down and pressed his forehead to the floor.

"_____," He whispered again, longing for his partner. "Auxilium."

"Xiao?" The voice was muffled. His eyes were glued to the floor in front of him, but he knew it was you.

"Xiao, stay with me, honey." There was a hint of panic evident in your voice, but he was glad that you didn't let that get the best of you. You was still somewhat calm.

You kneeled down beside him, helping him back to an upright position.

"Honey, you left these on the counter outside." You handed him two tablets of his anti-depressants, and he gladly placed them in his mouth. You also gave him a glass of water, and he downed it in two swift gulps. Afraid that he might underestimate his strength, he returned the glass back to you instead of setting it down himself, nodding at you in the process.

You got into a more comfortable position where you rested your back against the wall, and you guided Xiao to follow you. It was a difficult task; He was very sensitive during his panic attacks.

His semestral feedback reports always made him anxious. He didn't have to please his parents anymore since he moved out years ago, but Xiao had this nagging feeling inside of him to do better with his academics. Nobody was really pressuring him to be a straight-A student, but did he feel like he needed to be? Who was he trying to prove himself to anyway? You knew about his sever panic attacks and how they were more active if he had a big event coming up. The first time you had to deal with it, you were still stiff and trying to learn how you could help. Now, you takes pride in yourself for being able to handle him in the ways you know would help him the most.

"Here you go, I've got you." You cooed, assisting him with moving. You laid his head flat on her lap and she began stroking his beautiful, tousled forest green locks. The highlights he had under the first layer of his hair started to fade, and you made a mental note to take him to a salon so they could get their highlights redone.

"You know, I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay lately," You started speaking, as if Xiao wasn't about to have a full-on panic attack. "Yellow would have to be one of my favorite songs. I guess it's kinda cheesy, but can you blame me?"

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." You began singing, voice just above a whisper.

"And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

Xiao was a reserved person who had a hard time dealing with other people because of his inferiority complex that sprouted when he was young.

"I came along, I wrote a song for you."

He didn't have love and affection growing up. He didn't know how to be the best person to talk to. He had poor communication skills. He was a mess, to be honest.

"And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

You were the first person who looked past his rough and tough exterior. You were the person who showed interest not just in his name- but in him as a whole.

"So when I took my turn, what a thing to've done."

"Thank you," He murmured silently, noticing that the ringing in his ears vanished. His throat was beginning to open again, and he could finally feel the steady heartbeat he had in his chest.

"And it was all yellow."

Xiao curled himself into a ball, burying his face in your clothed stomach. You smelled a bit like smoke (maybe you ate yakiniku at Xiangling's?) and your faded cologne. It smelled like home. It washed a sense of relief over his entire being. He felt safe. He felt secure. He was being held like a child, but he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed this.

"Your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones,"

You craned your neck downwards to look at Xiao's figure. He finally looked peaceful. You knew about his rough past. You knew about the trauma he had to go through, but you chose to look past it because you knew that he was just afraid and... alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and you would rather the world die than leave him alone ever again.

"Turn into something beautiful."

You noticed how his chest started a rhythmic pattern of ups and downs. His breathing was finally steady. He looked at peace. He looked like he was right at home.

"Do you know? You know I love you so."

You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched him sleep in your lap. How could anyone think that this softie was an asshole?

"You know I love you so."

You barely whispered the last part of the song, but it was loud enough for his heart to hear it. Xiao hated when things were unpredictable; that's why he hated the rain. But now, maybe the idea of rain wasn't so bad. Especially since you were his rain.

"I love you, Xiao."

At that moment, you knew that the involuntary smile on Xiao's face was a response that contained more emotions than his words could ever bear.

"I love you too."

#genshin xiao #genshin impact xiao #xiao imagines #genshin impact #xiao x reader #genshin impact x reader #gi #genshin #xiao

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youwontlikethisblog · 3 years ago

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She's Ugly!

In a previous post I briefly touch on the subject of Armando and his belief of love. Here I will be going into more detail on my personal experiences as a writer who has written complex OC's with a very similar nature to that of Armando. I will be talking about some pretty heavy topics here so this is your warning if they make you uncomfortable or trigger you.

As a writer you spend most of your time doing research. You don't really spend it writing as more than 75% of the time is dedicated to researching the entirety of your story and it's characters. That means you research on mental health, social behaviors, addictions, learned behavior, coping mechanisms, ect... to create an authentic and realistic character.

When I was doing research for my OC, based on the past I wrote for them I had to look into the consequences that it carried into adulthood. I had to do a lot of research on coping mechanism and seggs addiction(I write really sad characters um but that's besides the point. Also try explaining your search history when you've got tabs and tabs about centers that deal with that addiction and so on).

[Below this I will talk about Seggsual Addiction and such. if it makes you uncomfortable skip to the next [RED]].

Doing that research I found out that many people who do have that addiction often use it as a form of escapism, control, or due to a lot more severe trauma. Sometimes it's just the feeling you get from that. Some have this addiction because of low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and also because it's something they can control, or at the very least in their denial stage they believe that they can.

Seggs Addiction is when someone cannot function without it. When it becomes a problem in that person's life and ruins friendships, relationships, and their professional life. It can range from content watching to actual action of the addiction. This is a serious problem as it often leaves the people feeling helpless, dirty, lowers the quality of life and they feel a lot of shame due to it and it's something that they need professional help to be able to control and overcome, just like drug addiction.

[Now I will be talking about Armando and why this relates to this breakdown. You may proceed.]

Do I believe Armando has that? Not necessarily. I am not a professional so I cannot diagnose someone with that. I just know a lot about the subject because I had to do research on the topic in the past.

Armando is a complex character. The reason I bring this up is because he does show traits of it. Do his affairs get in the way of his professional life? Somewhat. Does it ruin friendships? Yes. Does it ruin relationships? Yes, mainly his.

We know Armando has had an array of women in his life. He is desired by a lot of women(I seriously do however believe that Mario is a s. addict).

I've thought about this part of his character for a while. I really don't know what Fernando Gaitan researched or what inspired him to write Armando's character so this is really just my own personal speculation and is not a fact of the show.

From the start we are told that Armando is a man with refined taste and high standards for his women. The secretaries tells this to Betty, if I'm not mistaken Marcela mentioned it once, and Mario tells him all the time.

A poster here in the tag made a post about the situation of Mario and Aura Maria and they did a really good job at breaking down this side of Armando; that he doesn't have a refined taste or high standards for women but rather he doesn't like involving himself with women who are not in the same social statues and circles as him because of the abuse of power that it entitles.

When he told Mario he wanted to fire Claudia for being crazy Mario reminded him of what he told him when he wanted Armando to fire Aura Maria and because of that Armando decides not to personally fire Claudia, it wasn't until Marcela asked for her head that he asked Hugo to fire her.

Now let me step away from the story and explain why I have this speculation.

Armando's parents aren't very active in his life. They're only there when it comes to the company or his relationship with Marcela(I already talked about his parents in The Art of Subtly in YSBLF post) now imagine that as you're growing up. That your parents aren't actively in your life unless you're achieving or accomplishing something. We know Armando has a sister that doesn't talk to their parents and is only in contact with him. That their mother possibly ruined her marriage to a man because he was poor. This tells us that his parents aren't the best.

A child who grows up having to overcompensate and over achieve grows up with low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness, and other problems. They grow up believing that the only way they are worthy of love is by being perfect and they become obsessed with achieving perfection.

Due to this upbringing Armando is a control freak, neurotic, egocentric, and obsessed with perfection. He gets stressed out when things don't go his way. He has grown up in the fashion world and beauty has been fed to him that it is tall, thin, and above all has to be perfect.

A child is a product of their environment.

This has molded Armando into the person he is today.

On top of that Armando basically has his entire life planned out by his parents as a child who grew up hearing about the desire for him to be with Marcela to honor his parents best friends, for the good of the company, ect.

To receive his parents love he must do what his parents tell him, no exceptions. He must be the best at everything so he always aims high. In his proposal to be president he did exactly that.

Ironically Armando too is a people pleaser and feels like he has little to no control over his destiny.

So flings with Models become a form to cope. Though for a long time he enjoys those flings and what it entitles as it makes him feel good about himself, he is able to decide who he has a fling with but then it no longer is that.

My OC's addiction is driven by the desire of feeling wanted and needed. It boost her self-esteem though when it's over with she feels empty and hollow inside and we get a scene of Armando expressing those exact feelings to Mario the night he meets Ms. Colombia.

As they are leaving the cocktail Mario is upset that he[Armando] was leaving because he was so close to closing in on Ms. Colombia being his next conquest and that he couldn't change her for Marcela, who was always going to be there. Armando goes to explain something to him. He tells him that though at first he does get excited over the women and he does want to sleep with them that as soon as it's over he feels nothing anymore, that he doesn't enjoy it anymore.

This is part of a cycle and we see that.

Armando, before Betty, has the idea that if he falls in love it will be with a physically perfect woman who knows where she's standing and the only person that is like that is Marcela. He's got three reasons to marry her: He wanted her vote, his parents, and because she's what is mentioned above.

When Betty is introduce into his life she isn't what he expects in his dream woman. He expects perfection in a physical sense. However Betty has everything he wants in his dream woman in substance and personality.

He knows he likes Betty's personality but because she isn't physically perfect, he believes he isn't interested in her or attracted to her but because he likes her personality so much he believes he's entitled to her which is what drives his jealousy, it is not love.

Armando isn't in love with Betty here or at least not yet.

Betty embodies everything he wants and desires in a woman. She is humble, kind, respectful, unconditional, faithful, smart, like really smart and he likes that about her a lot, submissive and selfless.

However because the package isn't what he thinks is perfect, he cancels out. He denies that he likes her and he denies that he cares about her because of it.

So when Mario suggest for Armando to make Betty fall in love, Armando is apprehensive and disgusted by it.

Let's be honest, Betty isn't ugly! She's adorable! I will fight anyone who disagrees with this. Betty is cute and has always been cute.

I have spoken about Armando's emotional confusion a lot in the past few days but I haven't spoken about the mechanics of the confusion he is dealing with.

Denial is a strong defense mechanism. Subconsciously he has feelings for Betty and is attracted to her because of her personality but consciously he isn't. The mystery of the mind is never ending.

sub·con·scious /səbˈkänSHəs/

adjective of or concerning the part of the mind of which one is not fully aware but which influences one's actions and feelings. "my subconscious fear"

Armando's behavior towards finding out that Betty is in love has been dominated by his subconscious. However when it comes to facing those feelings he enters denial, therefore he cannot fathom the idea of ever being involved with someone so "ugly".

con·scious /ˈkän(t)SHəs/

adjective aware of and responding to one's surroundings; awake.

Armando is aware that Betty isn't his ideal of the type of women he is physically attracted to. He is aware the she isn't the standard of beauty.

Due to this he is refusing to listen to Mario.

Now that we understand this we can continue with the episode breakdown.

After Betty leaves, Armando is upset because Nicolas is the General Manager of Terra Moda(it feeds his paranoia talked about in the Betty, My Betty Part 3 post) .

Once again Armando and Mario switch roles. Armando is now aware of his conscious desires and he's sticking by them. Mario however is aware of Armando's subconscious desires.

Mario tries to level with him. He tells him that they can tell Betty to fire him but Armando rejects that by telling him that he does a good job and that Betty says he's important for Terra Moda, therefore Eco Moda, again this shows that Armando doesn't distrust of them in a professional sense. So they both agree that they shouldn't tell Betty to fire him. Mario first suggested that they reverse the seizure against Eco Moda and Armando goes on to reject that and explain why they can't do that. So Mario tells Armando that they need to think of something because it is a business deal involving them three; Armando, Himself, and Betty.

They agree that asking Betty to fire or take away so much responsibility from Nic could give way to Betty becoming hostile and resentful. Mario tells him that it would also be unfair since she's always been so unconditional with the both, Armando agrees.

We get to divides here. Two sides of the nickel.

Mario's priority and main concern is keeping Eco Moda and Armando as president for what it gives him.

Armando's priority is Betty's love life(Why else would he be so worried about her love life? A normal boss wouldn't care about your love life. Armando knows that Betty is a good and trustworthy employee and he said so himself).

Mario as always watched Armando carefully. The third and best option would have been to simply talk to Betty and be professionals and leave things alone and not doing anything about Betty's love life.

Mario tells Armando "Well the best option is to make Betty fall in love with you."

Armando goes on to say that he would never do that because he doesn't have the desire to and doesn't want to because Betty is ugly(this is why I said what I did above). Mario stops using the fear of losing Eco Moda and goes for the emotional because he knows that it will affect Armando's subconscious that will dominate him like it had been all day long.

"You're the perfect candidate because if it weren't for Nicolas showing up, I could have sworn she was in love with you. No, seriously, look at the way she looks at you, she's always been unconditional with you(he knows this is one of the qualities that Armando likes about Betty as he always lists it). My friend, if there's anyone that is capable of fighting against Nicolas Mora, it's the president of Eco Moda(here he is appealing to Armando's ego)."

What does Mario get out of all of this? Reputation in tact which allows him to continue living his best single life, which he said himself is his most prized possession. So it is important to him that Armando does whatever it takes to keep Betty from doing anything to get a husband(post Betty, My Betty! Part 3).

Fast forward Armando is in Marcela's apartment after the new collection launch and they're fighting because Armando let Betty into the event.

He not only defends his decision of inviting her as his guest but Betty's job and her role in the new collection. Marcela scoffs and they continue to argue.

What captured my attention though is that Armando tells Marcela that she can't be in a competing so absurd with a woman like Betty and shouldn't be in a feminine competition with her.

Armando is now go to the otherside of the room so we get his back as Marcela starts to speak ("You're wrong Armando I don't view her as a woman")and as she says "I am offended that you would think I feel she's a feminine competition-" Armando now looks at her confused.

Either he is confused because he doesn't understand what Marcela is trying to say or once again his subconscious is dominating him here.

The takeaway is that in Armando's mind Betty is a woman, ugly, but a woman nonetheless. He is confused as to why Marcela doesn't view her as a woman but still behaves the way she does.

We again get a classic scene of Betty writing in her diary as we hear her dialogue and get scenes of Armando in Marcela's bed.

We see Armando thinking about what Mario told him earlier that night.

When Mario told him that he would've sworm that Betty was in love with him[Armando] in that scene we didn't really get a reaction from him. He had a poke face but here, as he is thinking about it all he has a different look.

We stop getting a visual flashback, only an auditory one after Mario told him "I could've sworn she was in love with you." and the frame we're getting is Armando's face while laying in bed. He seems hopeful. The exact same expression he had when Betty told him that she didn't have anything with Nicolas.

We hear Mario's voice when he told him "If there's anyone who can fight Nicolas for Betty's love, it's the president of Eco Moda." Armando shifts in bed and covers his face. We then fade to Betty asleep on her bed and get another fade to Armando, this allows us to know that they are about to have another shared dream.

Armando is the mvp of this dream ss the camera focuses on him right away.

He seems happy in this dream as he runs around with Betty in a field with bright green grass and trees. He continues turns to look at Betty or allows Betty to lead him. Then in the dream Betty disappears and Armando is left alone, searching around him with a scared expression on his face until Betty finally appears in front of him. She nears him with her lips slightly puckered and Armando smiles and as well moves in closer until Betty runs away from him again.

The dreams shows us this two more times where Betty runs from him until the final time when Armando finds her and they near for a kiss we then get a real world Armando in bed shaking his head mumbling no, we can assume they are kissing in the dream.

This foretells what is to come. In Betty's eyes this is a good dream but we also know that due to her past Betty is afraid to love again which we're told this by her constant running away from Armando in the dream.

Armando's fear is brought to light in this dream that is of him losing Betty as it reoccurs more than once and each time he goes out to find her. There is times when he does want to kiss her but Betty pulls away and runs and then on the final one he becomes conscious in his dream(yes that happens, it's called lucid dreaming and sometimes it randomly happens).

The fact we kept getting fades from both Armando and Betty sleeping lets us know this was a dream simontainsly happening at the same time and it isn't until after they actually kiss that Armando's conscious starts to wake him up.

Marcela then finishes waking him up in the real world and asks Armando what he was dreaming, he tells her a horrible nightmare.

Again, Armando is aware that he doesn't find Betty to be his ideal perfect woman or the beauty standard. You know, she's "ugly" so having something physical even in a dream is a nightmare to him. The thing to take note of is that he was enjoying the beginning of that dream and it demonstrates his subconscious feelings.

We already Betty loved that dream.

The next morning Marcela mentions that if he doesn't talk about the dream he must secretly want it to come true.

His coping mechanism towards this entire situation has been denial. It protects him from having to face his true feelings and fears. It protects him from something he isn't ready to deal with yet.

He starts choking on his juice and coughing as Marcela watches him.

Marcela telling him this pushes him to face those fears of his, the fear that he does like Betty and that he does care about her more than just his employee however again, he is in denial therefore unable to understand this.

[You know I will write a post about how Aura Maria and Freddy are a parallel of Betty and Armando.]

Neither Betty or Armando talk about their dream to anyone, or at least the real content of said dream, which based on what Marcela insinuated, Armando secretly wants that dream to come true.

This is a fact because later on when Armando has that nightmare of Betty making out with Nicolas inside the new car they got, he tells Marcela about the nightmare or at least some distorted version of it, because he doesn't want that nightmare to come true. This time though he doesn't talk about it.

Betty clarifies the situation between Nicola and her roll in Terra Moda and Armando thanks her for it.

When she goes into her office Armando tells Mario that he's right about making Betty fall in love.

This next scene I already broke down in another post. Armando suggest Mario for the job because he knows that Mario would never fall in love with Betty but at least it would secure the company. However since Mario would never fall in love with Betty that would mean that he wouldn't have competition since you know these two pigs share everything.

Not only that but it would mean that he gets to avoid and deny his feelings without the worry of Nicolas and Betty ending up together and Nicolas turning her against him.

Armando tells Mario that he gets that it's the more logical thing that he[Armando] is the one to make Betty fall in love but that it's not morally correct.

He gets angry as he tells him that he can't do that to her, a woman who has been very special to him, too special towards him. Again this shows that Armando takes notice and likes that Betty treats him the way she does and because of that he doesn't want to hurt her and he knows that she doesn't deserve that.

However Mario then pulls the "your parents will be so disappointed and angry at you if you lose the company. So do you have to decide whether you'll be a rat to your parents or Betty."

As they discuss the sinister plan they solely based the problem in the physicality. As Armando even said himself the only bad thing about the plan was that Betty was ugly. If Betty wasn't ugly Armando wouldn't be afraid to face his feelings therefore be upfront about them.

However because she is it clashes with all his other traits. His ego, vanity, obsession with perfection and the fact he was unable to be in control over who he ends up falling in love with or liking.

I don't know what worse, Armando knowing how selfish the plan is against Betty and still going along with the it for the sake of the company and his unwillingness to admit to his parents that he was wrong or Mario knowing exactly what's going and how to manipulate Armando to do this and not caring about his best friends feelings and the guilt he will carry on as long as Armando remains president for his own greed.

In the next post I will breakdown the scene in which Armando drunkenly confesses somewhat his very confused feelings.

'Til next time :)

Ps. Sorry for all this typos! I'm an insomniac so I usually write these sleep deprived lol.

#armando mendoza #don armando #armando ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #beatriz pinzon solano #betty la fea #betty ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #mario calderon #marcela valencia #betty pinzón solano

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danijimenezv · 3 years ago

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Jill Valentine: What the Future Holds

For @openheartfanfics Meet My MC Event ☺💕

Career

After her residency ends, Jill takes over the Diagnostics Team, after the three other team members vote for her.

When Ethan steps down, Jill immediately jumps into action and starts interviewing possible candidates to fill the fourth spot of the team.

Finally, she decides to appoint Jackie. She’s proved herself time and time again, and she’s an exceptional doctor, so it made sense. And Jackie fits right in with their dynamics.

The team, and the hospital with it, thrives under Jill’s lead. They help a lot of people and earn a lot of worldwide renown.

The team was already known because of Naveen and Ethan, but there were doubts flying around when Ethan stepped down to become Chief of Medicine. Those doubts were quickly put to rest.

Jill is stubborn and determinate, and she works her hardest to make her team succeed. And the team succeeds more than ever because of her idea to work along with other departments at the hospital, creating a huge teamwork effort.

Harper is often busy, so Bryce and Ivy are her surgeons on call, and both of them give Harper a second and third opinion, so they consider every possibility out there. Rafael is the one she consults when physical therapy is on the table. Elijah, Baz and Zaid also help from time to time when they contemplate experimental treatments or when they need to research a new alternative, and Baz’s input is invaluable when it comes to immunology. Sienna is her pediatrician of choice. Even Esme and Gary come in handy from time to time. And even in retirement, Naveen is more than happy to help and give his input when the team hits a particularly hard slope. That applies for Ethan too; though, as much as he loves diagnostics, he tries to get involved the minimum, instead he lets Jill do her thing, and she’s damn good at it.

Jill’s management of the team also meant a new project she had been working on with Aurora. As soon as Aurora takes over Mass Kenmore’s Diagnostics Team, the two of them collaborate on projects and cases. And even if Kenmore’s renown isn’t as big as Edenbrook’s team, each group has something to contribute. They even collaborate on publishing articles and case studies. They work as well on their own as they do together. They help twice the amount of patients working alongside instead of competing with each other.

With Ethan as Chief of Medicine, she works perfectly with administration. They constantly help each other. He has the power to approve her projects and budget requests, but he only does it after hearing her pitch, just like other doctor, and he recognizes the true potential she shows.

She implements a program that gives third-year residents the opportunity to work with the diagnostics team. They are assessed and evaluated since their intern year, and when their third year comes by, Jill picks the two best residents. They’re not a part of the team per se, but they do a two-month internship with the team, work with them and learn from the experience.

Jill also dedicates part of her time to researching and working on zoonotic diseases. With her family of veterinarians, she’s more than qualified to do this, and after the maitotoxin incident, she knows there’s a lot of work to be done in that area.

Jill quickly becomes one of the most respected doctors and earned world-renown. She even becomes a published author.

Her books: “From Animals to Humans: Understanding Zoonotic Diseases”; “Diagnostics: A Comprehensive Science”; “The Challenges of Diagnosing”; “Solving Medical Mysteries: A Team Effort” (co-written with Aurora Emery) & “A Guide to Zoonoses” (co-written with Lucas Valentine).

A few years later, when Tobias decides to move to New York to marry Katherine, and inevitably has to leave the team, Jill is once again left with the task of looking at prospects for team member.

When that happens, Ethan is more than ready to step down as Chief of Medicine, after his fair share of working with administration, and he presents his curriculum to Jill, as if he was any other doctor.

Of course, Jill doesn’t have to think twice. She knows the kind of diagnostician he is, and she’s missed working with his brilliant mind.

Jill doesn’t just accept him into the team. She announces they’re both gonna be Co-Heads of the Diagnostics Team. After all, they’re better together than apart. Ethan tries to fight it at first but, well, he has never been particularly adept at denying Jill, and that was a matter she wasn’t willing to change her mind.

Though, as years working well with administration, both Ethan and Jill have earned other administratives favors, and working with them goes without a hitch as well. There are no more problems with the board like there were when Jill was a resident, and Ethan has learned to work with them, so the fights are almost non-existent.

Still, Tobias quickly earns his place as diagnostician in New York Presbyterian Hospital, and he continues to work along with Jill and Ethan.

Relationship with Ethan

Since confessing his love for Jill, Ethan was completely sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

The idea of proposing hadn’t made it to his mind yet, but he knew he was ready for them to move in together.

Even if the question had been at the tip of his tongue every time they were together, Ethan held back. Jill was already trying to adjust to the transition from resident to attending, and to Head of the Diagnostics Team. He didn’t want to add to it by having her move to his place.

But he had his mind made up, and he would ask her to move in with him as soon as things settled back. He wasn’t going to be deterred.

Except he hadn’t contemplated something, and that something made him stop in his tracks and reconsider asking her.

Because Jill, as Head of the Diagnostics Team, had a new salary. And with that new salary, the first thing Jill had done was get a puppy.

And no, not a little Yorkie or a Chihuahua. No. It was a damn Bernese Mountain Dog, that was going to grow into a seriously large dog.

Ethan already had Jenner, and even Jenner spent more than half of the time at his dad’s place in Providence. He didn’t think his penthouse could take a hyperactive Bernese Mountain puppy.

But he also knew his girlfriend. Coming from a family of veterinarians, Jill wasn’t going to leave the damn dog behind. From the moment she got him (“Satchmo”), Ethan knew they were a package deal. If he wanted to live with Jill, he also had to live with the dog.

He didn’t know how that could work with Jenner and in his penthouse, but he was willing to risk it. He knew he wanted to wake up every day by her side and go to sleep with her.

So, in September, just a couple of months after settling in their new positions, Ethan and Jill moved in together. Unsurprisingly, Jill knew how to handle the transition for both dogs, and made the move easy for all of them.

And just a few months after moving together, in December, Ethan popped the question. Jill cried through his whole proposal speech and couldn’t say yes, but she nodded fiercely and kissed him.

They had a relatively long engagement, until finally, they got married the following year, on October 16th, 2022.

The reception was huge, hundreds of people invited (because of the Valentine’s connections), though neither of them seemed to mind too much. They were just happy to be marrying each other. According to the media and tabloids, it was the wedding of the century.

Naveen was Ethan’s best man, and Luke (Jill’s older brother) and Tobias were his groomsmen, while Sienna was Jill’s maid of honor, and Kat and Ivy (her two sisters) were her bridesmaids.

About six months into their marriage, they decided to move to an actual house, and started looking.

Funnily enough, Jill’s childhood best friend, Hunter, told them he was currently working on a few construction and design projects in the area of Boston. He was the one who hooked them with a house and was their architect, helping them design their dream house.

A few months later, they were moving into a bigger house in suburban Boston, along with Jenner, Satchmo and Vienna (the roomies figured Jill had more space than them and could take care of the fennec fox better than them).

Starting their own family

It was about a year after their wedding that they sat down and talked about having children. Ethan had already worked through his trauma, and his past with Louise no longer held him back. Jill stopped her birth-control, and they started trying to get pregnant.

It took Jill a couple of months, and deep down she was terrified to let Ethan down and not be able to give him children, now that he had decided he wanted them. Ethan obviously eased her worries and told her the only thing he needed in life was her; children would be nice, but he really only needed her.

Still, Jill anxiously took a fertility test, and once it came out that she could have children, she tried to brush it off as stress, but still worried inside.

A few months later, Ethan surprised Jill by taking her on vacation, to ease her worrying and stress. He took her to a wolf sanctuary in Alaska she had mentioned she wanted to visit a few times.

Jill and Ethan found out Jill was pregnant by accident, and it definitely took them by surprise, but the news were very welcomed. At the wolf sanctuary, the wolves changed their whole demeanor and body language around Jill, and the keeper congratulated Jill on her pregnancy. Turns out, wolves are excellent at telling when a woman is pregnant even if she doesn’t know it yet; the animals get all odd and careful around the pregnant woman and take defensive postures around her. It was definitely a reveal worth telling.

Her first pregnancy, thankfully went without a hitch, and soon, their first-born came into the world, through natural birth.

Their son, Nicholas Jonah Ramsey, was born on August 24th, 2024.

Everyone was enamored with the little baby, with his dark hair and intense blue eyes, the spitting image of his father.

Ethan and Jill decided to appoint Rafael and Jackie as Nick’s godparents.

Six years later, their second child came along, also through natural birth.

Their daughter, Brooklyn Marie Ramsey, was born on November 8th, 2030.

She has her mother’s distinctive ginger-bronze hair color, but her father’s blue eyes.

Brooke’s godparents are Hunter and Sienna.

After little Brooklyn was born, though, Jill was informed that a third pregnancy could be fatal for her, that her body wouldn’t be able to sustain another pregnancy. And, after much deliberation and talking it out as spouses, Jill went under a hysterectomy procedure, which meant no more children for them, but they were beyond happy with their two little blessings.

Family and Friends

The gang remained tight-knit close, to the point where their children called the others aunts and uncles.

Even when they no longer lived together, they promised to hang out constantly and see each other. It also helped that they kept working together.

Eventually, Elijah and Phoebe eloped, and Sienna moved in with Raf. Bryce and Ivy already lived together. Aurora and Jackie were the last remaining ones, and they got a smaller apartment for the two of them for a while.

Then Aurora moved in with Hunter (once he fully moved to Boston) and Jackie got a place for herself and her new boyfriend, which she keeps a secret from the roomies until she’s completely sure the relationship is the real deal, because it’s the least expected pairing in the world. (Spoiler alert: it’s Baz 😂)

Even paired off and building their own lives, the gang kept up some of their traditions and kept in touch.

They even celebrate a few milestones and holidays together.

It tends to get a bit chaotic, given that it’s double the people, counting the spouses, but they all get along great and enjoy spending time together.

Tobias moved to New York once he married Katherine, but both of them still visit from time to time.

After traveling the world, Kyra moved to New York as well, where she met and married Jill’s older brother, Luke. Just like Tobias and Kat, they visit constantly.

Jill remains close with her family. She’s always been close with her siblings, and even more when they married some of their friends. And she grew closer to her parents once her own kids were born. Haley and Matthew Valentine definitely spoil their grandchildren rotten.

Jill and Ethan, along with Ivy and Bryce, make the trip to New York once every other month, to visit Jill’s parents, Kat and Tobias, and Luke and Kyra.

And once every other month, alternating with them, Kat and Tobias, and Luke and Kyra make the trip to Boston.

Jill and Ethan also drive down to Providence to visit Alan every few weeks.

All in all, they’re a big, happy, messy and extended family.

Tags: @jamespotterthefirst, @takeharryandgo, @aestheticartsx, @choicesfanaf, @fireycookie, @liaromancewriter, @trappedinfanfiction, @tsrookie, @genevievemd, @lucy-268, @writinghereandthere, @queencarb, @gryffindordaughterofathena, @ohchoices, @anntoldst0ries, @bluebellot, @schnitzelbutterfingers, @mysticaurathings, @iemcpbchoices, @itsjustamesshonestly, @shanzay44, @lsvdw-blog, @heauxplesslydevoted, @starryeyedrookie, @casey-v, @mercury84choices, @chaoticchopshopheart, @quixoticdreamer16, @a-crepusculo, @peonierose

#open heart #my oh mc #my open heart mc #jillian valentine

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leviiattacks · 4 years ago

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Two Faced | Chapter Five

↳ levi ackerman, the very person who was about to kindly behead you by a surprising turn of events manages to become your loving husband? you would be elated if this was true love, but it's all thanks to a mysterious magic spell that your life is spared. for now at least.

pairing :: duke!levi x duchess!reader genre :: royal au, angst, fluff, slice of life etc word count :: 3k author note :: just got diagnosed with covid so i have a lot of spare time on my hands so ummm send in any requests you have into my ask box i’d love to try doing headcanons!! → next part is here!!

Erwin sees the confused look you have and now he too seems lost as he shifts his line of vision to Levi. At that moment your husband slams his heel and grinds it onto your foot. Squirming around in your seat dealing with the stinging pain you catch on that you can't let Erwin think you're clueless.

Quickly, the look of confusion washes away from your features and you return his smile. "I'm willing to do what I must."

You think you've ruined this entirely because Erwin's eyes dart suspiciously between you and your husband. However, Hange intervenes, the interference seems to be enough for him to shake off any skepticism he senses.

Two hands hold onto your frame and squeeze your shoulders. Hange is standing up and seems ecstatic."You two are just so evil." they cackle to themself and you play along laughing too. You are not giving Levi the opportunity to ram into your foot again. Hange who is practically a personified ray of Sunshine at all times does still seem a little down, you did pick up on it when you entered the room. Maybe it was just you overthinking, that's what you assure yourself with.

Then it settles in your bones. Evil? Blinking you turn to look at Levi hoping for some sort of indication about whatever is going on.

"She wouldn't listen to me at all, said she felt the need to step in and help the Empire in some way." His tone is monotonous, still not sparing you a glance and you want to kick him in the shins. He's usually much more affectionate and you're afraid Squad Leader Hange and Commander Erwin will figure out this is all a facade.

"It's a noble commitment to put yourself forward for such a risky position, I see why you and Lance Corporal Levi are a sound match." Erwin isn't smiling this time but his tone is content.

Mind now buzzing with ideas you want to fall face first into the carpeted floor of the office spread out like a starfish. You would prefer that instead of being left in the dark. Could they simply mention the name of whatever it is you've apparently offered to do?

Levi's clearly grimaces but then he moves to hold your hand rather boldly. Shaking him off isn't an available option because of his strong grip. "She wouldn't listen to me at all. If I had it my way she wouldn't step anywhere near enemy soil." He grumbles.

The fake concern he's trying to lace in his voice is having an effect on his two colleagues, they're eating it up and believe this act.

Enemy soil? Risky position? He has to be stealthily plotting your death because you see no other reason for why you would be sent off to venture anywhere near the enemy. You aren't even apart of their regime, or any regime for that matter, you're itching with nervousness and want to free your hand from his desperately.

The only emotion this man is good at feigning is straight boredom, he ignores the way your hand shakes and squirms, ignores how your palms are dampening with sweat, instead the way he holds onto you only strengthens. It's surprising that no one has said a word about the lack of chemistry between the two of you.

Suddenly Hange looks down at their pocket watch and hurriedly gets to their feet dragging Erwin up with them too. "Y/N, I have something to tell you later on, please do stop by HQ when you can, I expect that will be soon." They then tell Erwin that there's no time to loiter and that there are more important meetings to attend to.

Erwin leans into your ear and whispers. "He seems disturbed that you're putting yourself at risk. He means well." You wish that were the case but it isn't. Despite that the way Erwin tries to explain Levi's behavior is sweet.

Hange gives you a cute thumbs up but makes it a point that you need to speak later on, even as they're both walking out the door Hange keeps reminding you to meet up later on. The abnormal behavior between you and Levi may have been noticed but you know if that were the case Hange would have been more vocal about it.

"Combat classes start soon. We know this will all be difficult, building you up from scratch is hazardous but all in good time you will serve a key role in the liberation of Paradis."

Erwin's parting words are gracious.

And then both the Commander and Squad Leader leave, the room is empty but Levi doesn't even wait for the door to shut behind your two visitors.

He makes it a priority to throw your hand away from his, he's now methodically using his handkerchief to dust his fingers off. It's oddly ironic and enrages you because he's the one who grappled your hand into his grasp. What's the point when those same hands until recently looped around your waist in the middle of the night?

He thinks your hand is filthy, that you yourself are filthy and disgusting. At least that's what you think he thinks.

Crossing your arms over your chest you make your feelings known to Levi. You're frustrated beyond the way words can describe, it's not about how he refuses to touch you. Admittedly that does hurt you, makes your chest swell in remembrance of the old days but you really just want to know what he's put you up to without your permission.

Not speaking you wait for him to take the hint but he doesn't get it or he refuses to acknowledge your existence, something tells you it's the latter because all he cares about is sanitizing his hands.

He always had been a clean freak but when he was enchanted it didn't take much for him to touch you. Part of you wonders if it's the nature of the touch that he wants to exterminate or the fact it's your skin he's come in contact with which is bothering him.

"Care to explain?"

"Touching someone such as yourself romantically gives me the urge to retch." The confession is as acidic as the after taste one has after a late night of drinking, but he has no problem telling you the blunt truth.

"I see." You shortly reply, you weren't asking about that, your question was directed more towards the conversation which just took place with his colleagues but now knowing he doesn't want to touch you has an emptying effect on your chest.

A silent minute passes, maybe two minutes, you're not sure all you're doing is eyeing the carpet thinking about how you would like to be asphyxiated and brought to your end, you can't handle this for much longer.

"Sign these papers, we need your written consent." His voice shows no hints hints of Lev. Last night may have been the last time you had a chance to witness him.

A stack of documents is thrown in front of you and then you see it right at the top of the pile. A sheet filled with general information, eyes skim over the "Purpose of employment" section and you don't know what churns in your stomach. Is it Exasperation? Nerves? Grief? It can't be pinpointed, it could be a mix of all three.

"An Informant."

Rereading the title you hold the paper in disbelief between your palms. "You told your regiment that I would be willing to spy in on enemy kingdoms?"

His hands rub at his forehead, he's not perturbed at all. "Is it in your blood to be ungrateful?" Brutally cynical his tone is rocky.

He moves - not even towards you but for some reason you flinch stopping him in his tracks almost immediately. Narrow ice cold eyes trace your face carefully for any signs of manipulation or deception. Gulping anxiously you know you have to be careful with what you say or do. Getting too comfortable or casual around him is a risk you are not willing to take.

"I don't think you understand. I do not have the abilities nor the skill to do this. I would cause more issues." You cautiously move to grab his arm but before you get there he takes a wide step back. He's clearly defining that there's a boundary. You won't step into his territory not when you've already invaded a large portion of it for so long.

"I am no witch. I still don't understand what happened." You mutter hoping he believes you or at least tries to.

"Then die." Levi hisses. He fixes you with his poisonous stare. "Make it quick."

Curse yourself to a life with this man who every step of the way is hoping for your death - maybe he'll even push you towards it purposefully one day. The alternative choice available is to die by the hands of that same man right now.

Guilt and regret are what you feel, you can't look death in the eye proudly. Not right now. If you can't commit to the promise you made mother then there is truly no point in making your way to the afterlife.

Cowardice is not the cause of death you want to present her with.

With a heavy heart you sign the papers.

It's been a few days since then, you've received training from some of Levi's squad, at first the combat is nerve wracking but you get to a level where you feel comfortable in terms of defense.

Oluo is slow, you've picked up on the way his stance predicts every move he's about to make. You're thankful for that because it makes training easier, he's oblivious to just how easy it is to read his movements and you snigger at that. Today he's trying a new technique, it consists of attempting to dive in the direction of one of your shoulders and suddenly darting at the other. It catches you off guard for a second but it's simple to block him. Jumping back from another surprise attack you lunge forward as if you're aiming for his face. He lights up thinking this is his chance unbeknownst to him you've already seen the open opportunity you've been waiting for. You can change the wager in this brawl. Swiftly ducking you undercut him with one of your legs, his balance has been knocked and he stumbles teetering by a thread.

A solid kick to his stomach is all it takes for him to collapse to the ground grumbling in vexation.

Mikasa has been helping you with one on one combat and the extra hours of training behind the stables has clearly been of benefit.

Thinking back to your training sessions with Mikasa you frown, not because of the way she flipped you and shoved you into the dirt, no that part was quite exhilarating. It's Sasha. She's been on your mind. She has to be feeling left out, that's your fault you've kept her in the dark about joining the regime, how could you attend training with her? Your maid waiting on you whilst you were training? Impossible.

The last problem you wish to arise is everyone finding out you're Duchess Ackerman. No one has to know about that minor detail, in fact when you informed Hange and Erwin of your decision they strongly agreed it would be best to hide it.

"I think we should get you strapped into some gear. See how good you really are in the dexterity department." Oluo is spitefully mumbling under his breath red faced.

Offering him your hand he looks like he wants to smack it away, You don't have time for this, you were planning on dropping by and paying Hange their more than overdue visit after training hours were up.

ODM-gear doesn't look too hard, you're sure you can work out the mechanisms if given some time. Calculating and shifting time blocks in your head you can come to an end at Six, if and only if you're able to rush past ODM training.

"Okay, I admit you were tired today I could tell. I'll strap myself into some gear."

At this new new challenge Oluo willingly takes your hand and you heave him up.

He's got a cocky shit-eating grin sprawled across his face as he pats your back enthusiastically.

"Good luck, you're in for one hell of a ride."

Three dimensional ODM-gear, a contraption that is very different to a sword or dagger. Most soldiers find it difficult to master the balancing of all their body weight whilst simultaneously gliding through the air with the grapple hooks. This is why introductory lessons in balance, momentum and effective weight distribution are a must.

It's been instructed that you won't be using ODM-gear nearly as much as other members of the regiment, you're training to become a spy after all and ODM-gear is very obviously visible when a person is strapped into their uniform. Nevertheless it's still a requirement to be able to use it. It's a hurdle because it's not your forte by any means but you can't continue avoiding it.

When living as the Duchess you deemed it pivotal to only interact with a limited number of Levi's colleagues, those who worked at the estate couldn't be avoided such as Mikasa but apart from that Hange was the only outsider you spoke to (Before Erwin had come along). You don't know if you regret that decision because it's definitely why everyone is cackling as you thrash around, they have no idea he has a wife and if they do they show no inclination of knowing you are that woman.

Sniggers can be heard as you struggle to center your strength fully, your instructor bellows at you. "No, come on. STOP FLAILING AROUND!" Particles of his saliva fly in your face and that only feeds into your embarrassment. Paralyzed you don't know what to do, he tells you to not move around then the next minute barks at you to not give up, repeats that you have the agility level equivalent of a sick child.

You've been stuck in this upside down position for more time than you can imagine, at some point a large majority of the scouts including Oluo double down in laughter whenever you make a mistake - they berate you when you are trying your best.

Legs kicking out you're panicking and want to escape the harness you're in.

Oluo was right, nothing could prepare you for this.

Mikasa when she isn't busy assisting Levi is a part of the regime too, that's why she's grinding her teeth this morning when she walks into the training grounds and sees the whole scene play out right before her eyes.

She wants to desperately step in and stop this because you being forced into ODM training without having your core strength developed is unfair.

Then a yell is heard from the crowd "GO Y/N!! LISTEN TO ME ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS KEEP CALM!" Both you and Mikasa turn to see Sasha standing next to her.

Sasha? Mikasa knows very well how you forbade her to follow you today, you gave her the day off to visit her family.

"I thought Y/N warned yo-"

"I am dedicated in my service to the Lady, if she chooses to do this I will be by her side to support her. She does not have to feel embarrassed."

Members of the corps are eyeing her weirdly when she says "Lady" she doesn't know you're keeping your identity secret, that was the reason for giving her time away, you were afraid she'd slip up and expose you but simply hearing Sasha proudly announce her commitment for you in front of all these people knocks the wind right out of your chest. You've never felt this much importance before.

Sasha's motivation is all you need because by a miraculous turn of events you manage to steady your breathing pattern and find it within yourself to focus on your core. Wobbling shakily the transition is far from smooth but you flip yourself right side up, the muscles in your calf ache and throb with pain but you've done it.

Grinning from ear to ear at your two friends you feel light-headed with relief.

"Took her long enough." Levi sneers. He's made his way to the front of the crowd, you wonder when he got here. Beaming at him you think your presentation might be enough to discourage his usual response. You're incorrect.

"She's a shame to this squad, there is no need in motivating someone of her rank." Shallow breaths puffing out of you it comes to your attention that he's addressing Sasha.

She ignores what he has to say about you and stays silent, any normal person would have their head hanging down in shame but she looks into his eyes with a determination that takes your breath away.

He pays her no mind after that and turns back to where you're still struggling to keep steady. "Don't think you're hot shit." Your bottom teeth dig into your lip, and your throat suddenly clamps down on you restricting your breath. "She's no good at combat, no good at using her gear. Do you only excel at spreading lies, Cadet?" The way he's now completely indignant in the way he speaks stings. He doesn't even bother to sound normal in front of Mikasa or Sasha anymore, it makes you manually hollow your cheeks trying to keep your tears at bay.

Lies, you know what he's referencing. You want to grab him by the collar of his shirt and throw him to the muddy ground. That's what he deserves for prodding and poking at your vulnerabilities.

He doesn't understand the degree at which all these sudden changes are affecting you, in his eyes this is light work and shouldn't impact you at all, that's why when you feel a muscle contraction and reel backwards, rapidly falling back into that cursed upside down position. He scoffs, doesn't even move to check if you're okay.

Whispers circle around you and even some of the cadets who participated in ridiculing you step forward to take you out of your harness. However, Sasha and Mikasa get there first and shoot them with their intense glares, the both of them work on hoisting you out of your gear.

Levi takes one last look at you before he storms away convinced you're faking, what else would a runt like you do to escape the situation?

In his mind you lost your momentum and your ship capsized because of your own self sabotage.

Little does he know all that has truly lost momentum is the inner-workings of your heart and that is all thanks to him.

#levi ackerman #levi #aot #snk #attack on titan levi #attack on titan #aot fanfiction #aot headcanons #duke levi #levi x reader #levi x y/n #levi smut #levi angst #levi fluff #levi fanfiction #leviiattacks

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janaikam · 3 years ago

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I keep thinking about what if Carson and Kate had figured out that Ryan was Nancy’s dad, and choose to give Nancy over to Ryan, so here are some of my thoughts. Also yes I’m pretty sure the Hudson’s would have named Nancy something else but for the sake of clarity it’s Nancy

Ryan would have fought his parents to keep Nancy because she was still a Hudson even if his parents hated Lucy

To avoid his parents potentially trying to go behind his back and give Nancy to some orphanage, Ryan posts about his new daughter and tells friends and family, forcing Everett and Celia to keep the baby

Since Ryan was 17, his parents would have stepped in likely claiming guardianship until Ryan turned 18

Even after Ryan turned 18, his parents would threatened him with being cut off if he chose to raise Nancy as they didn’t think he would raise her ‘right’

Knowing what his parents were like and wanting to honor Lucy’s memory, Ryan puts himself through college and gets a job so that he can take official custody of Nancy and raise her himself

When Ryan tries to do this, his parents try to take ‘legal’ action knowing if they draw the process out long enough Ryan won’t be able to pay for a lawyer and take care of Nancy

At first Carson helps the Hudson’s since he never quit after Nancy was born, but Kate convinces him to help Ryan because it’s what Lucy would have wanted

With Carson’s help, Ryan gets full custody of Nancy

Though because of Everett and Celia’s lies, Nancy doesn’t have the same sense of compassion for others. She still likes to solve mysteries but not with the same desire to help people

Living with Ryan he tells her about Lucy, which she secretly loves since Everett and Celia never talked about her mother

Kate and Carson practically take in Ryan and Nancy and act as parents/grandparents to the two teaching both of them about being kind and caring about others

Nancy is still into mysteries and still solves them becoming a local legend

After Kate gets diagnosed, Nancy reaches out to Everett and Celia to try and get her the best care. They make an agreement that Nancy has to learn the ropes of the Hudson Enterprise in exchange for Kates treatment

After Kate passes with Nancy still unable to say goodbye, Nancy cuts herself off from Ryan and Carson blaming them for her being unable to say goodbye, leaving her with Celia and Everett as her support

Celia shapes Nancy into the heiress she always wanted her to be and since Nancy

I have more thoughts but this post is already long enough, might add on later :P

#Nancy drew #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #Ryan Hudson #Carson drew

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lee-scribbles-and-doodles · 3 years ago

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Episode 4 reaction

Sam and Max using the roach to prank the commisioner 😄😄😄 (Date Goals)

"Demonic possession is the gift that keeps on giving"

We're fighting the president? Is this the golem Abe Lincoln intro episode?

It is, I wasn't paying attention to the episode title or image I just hit play as soon as the game booted up

"Get the keys" Lol of course the only thing Max cares about is his gun

Can we talk about how much of a bop the intro is. I wasn't paying it much attention previously but it's real nice

Asdfgh how did Max's boxing glove get on the white house lawn?

Lol why is Jimmy allowed in the white house

"Doggy daddy, this is lose canon. Requesting permission to pants this goon."

"Ah, emotional violence. Good plan!"

I like Superball :)

"I'd like you to smell these two handkerchiefs and tell me which smells more like clauroform."

"I want to write down a reminder to smother you with a pillow in your sleep."

"I'll drive!" "Not while I'm alive." "Exactly."

"That fox is totally checking you out. Go for it Sam!"

Lol. Sybil is a dating service now.

"Ever feel lonely, Max?" "No, I have the voices to keep me company."

Sybil's surprised that Sam and Max want to get dates. I'm 100% sure she ships them.

Lol, she really diagnosed them with "mlm who should be dating."

Lol, she agrees with Max that being a volcano God is better than being a matchmaker.

Mr. Spatula apparently went crazy because of Sam's blood???

"I still don't trust him, Sam. He's tasted your blood."

They're keeping Leonard in the closet!?

Oh, Hugh Bliss. At least he's better than the soda poppers. (I think it says something that peepers creeps me out more than the obvious cult leader).

It's cute that Max is so into the prismatology nonsense.

Bosco is Russian now

Max breaking the fourth wall and staring directly into my soul was slightly creepy

Asdfgh HOW does he have a satellite defence system?

His truth serum is just whiskey or something, right?

Max why would you use someone's toothbrush to clean out your ears????

"I could donate my body to science again, but the guys at the lab seemed pretty spooked last time."

"It's okay Max, I've been paying them out of your retirement fund."

"Federal pudding embargo"

"--Anybody need their nuts cracked" "heehee"

Lol, I got kicked out for trying to enter the war room.

Whizzer is a governor?

Also SHIT I have to deal with the soda poppers again

Chuckles roasting Sam and Max has me dying

"Your codependency sickens me."

Max trying to give Chuckles puppy dog eyes

Sam doesn't know who George Washington is

"Foolish chief executive! Does he not fear us?"

"Just the funnies." "You mean the obituaries, Max." "Potato, patato."

Whizzer is addicted to soda?

"Pop heads"

Sorry Whizzer, we got to get rid of you, drink your soda gdi

"I don't have a conscience, Sam. What's your excuse?"

Oh, I get rid of Chuckles by sending Whizzer to the war room

Oh so we're just killing the president, huh? Good thing he was a puppet (apparently)

"Sam did it!"

Love Chuckles

Oh golem Lincoln is the Lincoln memorial!

The commissioner is omnipotent

Oh, Max gets to add president to his career list!

Superball: "Solid Oak. Good Doors. Strong doors."

"I was on TV" (Yeah my mans, you sure was)

I'm pretty sure I can give sybil Lincoln's flyer... yup!

Oh, no. Do I have to set baby girl up for disaster.

Oh Sybil honey I'm sorry

No baby girl don't cry

Max's happy run to the desk 😭😭😭

And Sam's fond look 💖

Max immediately lording his power, ofc

At least I get to make it up to sybil by giving her enough money to go on a nice vacation.

Bosco honey, please get some new hot dogs

I knew the truth syrum was alcohol.

Hehe funny Easter egg joke go vrr

I'm giving the alcohol to Whizzer. He seems like the most logical choice

Wow little man can not hold his beer

Yeah, alcohol is the best truth serum

Omg they’re actually starting a war

Superball is singing???

What is happening!?

Sam has the most wtf expression ever, Max is just staring ahead

Ok this is a bop

Superball is a really good singer

Omg it just keeps going

At least Superball is having a good time

"Well." "Let's not do that again."

Secretary Superball of Mysterious Gassy Emissions/Secretary of Meats and Cheeses

"A vacation? Permission to weep openly sir." "Granted, and encouraged."

What to do in time of war. 1. Select Target. 2. Press Fire.

Imma blow up EVERYTHING

Asdfg KRYPTON!?

"This will teach them to put me in the Phantom Zone!"

Oh, Bosco IS being watched

Good way to test out his defense system... It works! Good thing cause that would've totally killed him.

Ok I got the Beacon

"I like to think I transcend genre conventions Sam."

"Lincoln smash!"

Max (lounging on table): Shouldn't we revel a little bit?"

"We broke two presidents in one afternoon!"

"Sam, you're my best friend." 🥺🥺🥺

I love these two.

#sam and max #freelance husbands #sam and max freelance police #sam & max #sam & max freelance police #sybil pandemik #bosco #agent superball

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lifeexperience · 4 years ago

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Maribat March 2021 - Half time

In my AO3 account I am also updating the 'A playboy billionaire, an ambassador and the secret love-child' title, and sometimes I add(ed) commentary why I write something the way I do.

Masterlist

From the last fifty days here is all the plus note:

First day

In Red Robin (2009-2011) comics Vicki Vale was a little bit too noisy for her own good, that's why I used her personal annoyance against Bruce Wayne in this story.

Third day

Vanessa Rios was an assistant district attorney in Gotham in the Robin (1993-2009) run. Here I am using her as the Wayne's legal team head. Tamara Fox, Lucius Fox's daughter, is friends with Tim Drake in Red Robin (2009-2011) comics and here too. Also she is an intern with the HR department who knows about the BatFam alteregos.

Fifth day

In the comics, Alfred always followed Bruce to his 'trips' (in 'Batman and Son' to London, 'Batman & Robin Annual' to an scavenger hunt, in 'Batman Inc.' to every country where they found representatives...) However because of Damian's unpredictable behaviour he stayed at the manor with the children in this story.

Sixth day

So Young Justice thing is a little complicated to me if I dare to say something about it. There was the 'Young Justice: The Secret' and its sequels. Then there were 'The New52' and 'DC Rebirth' era, plus the animation show. And they all are kind of okay..ish, furthermore I wanted to keep the principles like the main members (Tim Drake, Connor Kent, Bart Allen and Cassie Sandsmark), however I never liked their too childish behavior in some of the works (and the mixing with 'The Titans). So in this story, here, they are more adult..ish, but more relaxed and cheerful than 'The Titans' ever was (like in comics, not in the shows).

Eighth day

In the 'Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir' show they showed Lila as a manipulator without any remorse, which got me to think she has antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). I am not a doctor but I had some basic lesson in psychology, and I have a natural curiosity about things so I always research everything. With diagnosed ASPD the person has to be older then 18, however I read its symptoms can show up in childhood, and it can lead to an earlier diagnosis like 14-15 years old early.

In the case of Lila she deceives people and uses them (✓). Don't makes long term plans or thinking through about her behavior (✓), however has a set on some goal she wants to achieve (✓). She has a sense of superiority above of her classmates and adults in her environment (✓), nevertheless does't have any remorse or guilt to mistreat them (✓). Uses charisma and her fake charming persona to get something or someone (✓), however didn't value them more than tools or prizes (✓).

I didn't see any real aggressive behavior from Lila beside akumatizations (✓), but on its own I think it's enough evidence, that she has this disorder (and not the many that she claimed). In normal aggressive way Lila didn't show herself (like physical violence, loud angry outbursts, big fits in front of everyone) yet, rather she uses Akumatization to hide that kind of behavior (when Adrien tried to stand up she became willingly Chameleon, or the Heroe's Day, or Oni-Chan). So her Akumatised forms and helping to Hawkmoth are the evidences that she has aggressive behavior, however they are not the classic forms (but we also can remember the threatening in the bathroom, but I think that was more intimidation and showing her superiority then pure aggressiveness).

And I wanted that recreate and strengthen this 'fact' a little bit so it would be more obvious than in the show.

Ninth day

In the comics there are so many take on Bruce Wayne it's kind of hard to count it. We could list the Batman persona, when he kind of let his children do what they want within his no-kill-rule (like living alone at fourteen with bunch of other teenager - 'Teen Titans' or 'Young Justice' or as it looks like to go rough - Robin, Red Hood). And there is the obvious martyr-parent take, when he has to know everything about his children, but he is always silent about the important things ('Death of the family' - 'Batman and Robin: Born to kill' - 'The Hunt for Robin'). And one of my favorites the worried-tired father take, when he is kind of showing his emotions and trying to love his kids ('Super Sons' - 'Robin Rises' - 'Prelude to the Wedding: Nightwing vs. Hush' ...).

And I decided to use the last with a more active take from the first (like he lets everyone do their thing but he is monitoring them within reasons). In the comics there are many accusations about being someones father (with Julie Madison or Mariah Shelley), and here in my take he is trying to be responsible (for the sake of his children, mainly for Damian and Jason) and checks every claim out personally (so they also can do DNS test).

Tenth day

Alya Césaire is a complicated someone in the show. At first she is portrayed as a fierce helper for the protagonist, Marinette. She is stubborn and reckless, but royal to her best friends.

Then came Lila and the makers sharpened her stubborn tunnel vision. This I saw it first at the 'Lady Wifi' episode, when she clearly didn't remember about the first day, when Ladybug saved Chloé (or ignored it). After that she always fixated on 'Adrienette' (or everything else if it's interesting - Dark Cupid) when the girl, herself had other things to do (Princess Fragrance, Puppeteer 2, Reflektdoll 2, Timebreaker). So it was not that big surprise when her tunnel vision turned to Lila, and she (and everybody in her class) forgot about that they all met Jagged Stone and with his crocodile already.

Yeah, it's all true, however unlike Lila, Alya didn't show any other big social flaw. And she is 14 years old and middle child, which is kind of important in someone personality. She has to be a mature figure and a little child at the same time in her sibling's eyes. She has to compete attention in their parents eyes and be smart about it.

Moreover if we look at the Collège Françoise Dupont's students, they are all spoiled, not just Chloé or Lila or Adrien. Yes, they are not that bad like the three, but they are all sheltered to a certain degree. Their family don't have financial problems (famous chef, designers, mayor, famous bakery, curator in the most famous museum, police officer, famous pantomime, ...), plus they are all in a prestigious school where they can't meet people with everyday problems (and rich spoiled kid is not an everyday occurrence in my country). And beside some vision problems (Max, Sabrina) they are all healthy and the first time to meet a disability is when Lila arrived. So it's natural if they don't really know how to interact right with her (putting aside that whole lie thing).

And I think they, especial Alya, need first a little life experience, before they could be called responsible about their acts. And here I am trying to write it this kind of way, where they are all flawed, but they can learn from it.

Human being can be shallow and not perfect. These children only heard one perspective from Lila, and another from Marinette. In the show the makers not exactly specified about how well the classmates know Marinette and how depth Marinette and Alya friendship is, so there is already some trust issue.

Like yeah all of they are going to concerts, cinema, each others, however they didn't show so far any serious conservation between them (maybe the only exception is Adrien-Marinette combo). Until this year when Adrien and Alya got transferred in the class, the classmates don't even help Marinette with Chloé bullying. And one year friendship - how beautiful is it tho - is not that depth and stable, especially with that many secrets they have. And Lila 'charming' personality came into this still fragile relationship at the right time to prove this.

I am not saying that the makers is doing good to simplifies the relationships. Because rather they missed so many ziccers for the sake of promote new hero designs and the overwritten romantic scene, it's physical hurting me. But they are right that we are talking sheltered-traumatized-too naive kids, who sometimes had unearned magic powers (looking at Chloé, Alya, Kim).

And I didn't ever going the length of mentioning the adult characters. It's an other kind of wormhole.

Marinette was the only one who openly disobeyed Lila's wants. She stands up against her lies in the public so she is a real obstacle for Lila. While Adrien is only trying in the background without any witness (I don't say it's bad, because with some case it's better, but not here), and the boy is too valuable to Lila.

Lila already showed in the series she didn't stop with the lies and she is brave enough to ruin someone carrier with them (Marinette - 'Ladybug', Nathalie and Gorilla - 'Oni-Chan', Alya - 'Volpina'). And Adrien watched all of it in the front seat, and he kind of knows that Lila's main target here to discredit and broke Marinette/Ladybug (and Adrien, himself also, but it's his perspective and he is very sheltered and naive about it).

And this story she got another one to ruin. Bruce Wayne, himself. And as her fake charming side melts away in her anger as she is focusing more and more on her targets.

Eleventh day

Speed Force is one of the Seven Forces of the Universe. It grants the power of the speedsters. And some of them merged with it (for example Barry Allen). Speed Force has a direct connection to the time flow and with the Multiverse (or now Omniverse). The biggest event of it is the Flashpoint (2011) which started the New52 era. And Batman doesn't want to mix this kind of force with a really mysterious ancient magic.

Nightrunner's first appearance was in 2011 in Detective Comics Annual #12. Within the Batman Incorporated line Bruce recruited Bilal Asselah, French-Algerian citizen to represent Batman in Paris. Here he is a mentor/background assistant to the Team Miraculous and a representative of Batman Inc.

Fourteenth day

Wang Fu is not the most mature character in the show and I think it says it all. Being an 186 years old is the Great Guardian after he accidentally destroyed the temple, he is kind of shameful and amateur. And if we contrasted him with Batman... yeah. Batman is NOT happy and takes the control from the old master.

Fifteenth day

I know Cyborg, alias Victor Stone is currently shown as a founding member of the Justice League (since 2011), however I am prefer him more in the Titans. And it's not just because of the animation show form 2003, but also in the comics he is more himself with the first Titans then with the -all mighty- Justice League. And I also wanted him to have a little cameo in this story because in the Super Sons (2017-) he was kind of like a babysitter for the boys. And to me it's kind of funny how many times the bats short circuited him (Robin Rises, Super Sons: Parent Trap, ...).

Sixteenth day

Damian Wayne is a complicated character. For ten years he was teached to kill. He only learnt about his mother at eight. He only learnt about his father at ten. Thalia used him for anything from power play to plotting someone death. Bruce loves him, but he is so moronic about his own emotions it's kind of painful to read sometimes. And there is the thing where Damian is never enough, his mother cloned him (Heretic), his father has other wards (mainly Red Robin). Dick Grayson went incognito spying when the boy had finally a healthier relationship (Grayson: The Superspy). His best friend, Jon Kent was suddenly older then him (2018 Superman #16). Alfred was killed in front of him (2016 Batman #77). Yeah, Damian is a jerk, but he has every right to be a jerk in my opinion. And I wanted that recreate here as Lila is a liar and threatening his 'only' position as a blood son. His only weapon to prevent it to have a fit and doing what was teached to him.

Fulltime

#maribat march #half time closure #maribat #ml fanfic #analysis #character analysis #it's long #2021

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allandoflimbo · 4 years ago

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Take It Back (Chapter 32)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Summary: About five years ago, a one night stand with Y/N tore Bucky’s life apart. It was also the night before his wedding. Now he’s married to her sister and she needs a place to stay.

Take It Back Full Masterpage |

…] “How do I know for sure that it’s not you that are all those things? Because let me tell you something, I know the woman I fell in love with, I know the girl I met and she is none of those things you accuse her of, so stop trying to force it down my throat.”

“You think I’m fooling you into making her think she’s the bad one? You think I’m lying about her being manipulative?”

“Y/N, you have done nothing but talk shit about her.”

“Fine!”

It comes out in a roar as you snap back around and scream it in his face.

Bucky recoils slightly at your outburst.

Your face is red, your eyes flushed.

“Fine, Barnes, you want me to stop talking shit about her and stop trying to protect you, I will!” You tilt your head up higher, a finger in his chest, “But just know that if she hurts you, it’s your own fault […]”

___

“James Barnes is in no way taking any drugs. His reason for being at Presbyterian Hospital remains private, but it is not drug-related.” A reliable source tells Washington Post.

Rumors of James Barnes’ loyalty towards his family remain under tough waters and constant watch as afflicted co-counters doubt this reliability and responsibility as new CEO. Many even say that his wife, Ashlyn Barnes, would be a better fit for the job.

- The Huffington Post

James Barnes's loyalty appears to be rocky when it comes to his marriage, just as much as his loyalty to his company. Doubts are starting to arise after hospital visit when Barnes was later spotted leaving his New York Penthouse with a mysterious woman.

-NYT

James Barnes, a cheater? Let's hope he’s a better businessman than he is a husband.

- Amateur News Blog

___

New York City

The flashes come from left and right, the shouts and screams making his head swirl.

The gorgeous brunette man, his best friend, has a hand on his lower back as he helps guide him inside the tall, glass tower.

Bucky does as he was told in the car moments before.

He keeps his head tilted down, avoiding every question and microphone thrown his way. They are to brace the accusations and crude comments as they race towards the glass doors.

“Mr. Rogers, as Barnes’ attorney, don’t you think it’s a bit biased to be working this case, considering you’re his best friend of fifteen years?”

“James! Did you really cheat on Miss. Ashlyn? James!”

“James, are you losing Barnes’ Enterprises? What has been decided among the case after it was discovered that your father tried to take it from you?”

“What about Stark’s company, threatening to buy you out for insubordination? What don’t the people know?”

“Mr. Barnes why-“

The voices are drawn out and become distant as both men finally step into the lobby, a heavy breath escaping Bucky’s lungs.

He’s thankful that none of the news reporters are allowed inside because this - he closes his eyes and takes in the soothing silence - was a lot better.

Still, his mind is not clear enough. Not as clear as he would have hoped.

Not even as they take the elevator up to the newsroom. His best friend can tell he’s nervous, and for what, he’s not so sure.

Bucky had nothing to hide.

He isn’t mentally present, either, when he greets the news crew, nor when they clip the mic onto the collar of his beautiful Armani suit.

“5…4…3…2…”

He turns on like a machine when the camera claims “LIVE” above the bright light that is shining directly into his face, making him momentarily blinded.

Now, he knows, everyone is watching.

He sees the news reporter come up on the dual-screen that is installed next to the tripod, and the older news reporter announces Bucky’s presence followed by a simple question.

One that could potentially change everything.

“We want to thank you for coming on the show tonight. We wanted to start by asking you one question: Is Ashlyn Barnes still in any way affiliated with Barnes’ Enterprises?”

Bucky swallowed thickly, the bright light of the recording camera making his head swirl.

five days earlier...

The three of them sat on the hotel bed.

Steve’s declaration about the will being fake had an effect on Bucky that no one was expecting. They were expecting a celebration of some sort, maybe even a smile.

Instead, all Bucky could do was take your hand in his and cave into himself as he tried not to cry again that night.

You share an uncertain glance with Steve before tightening your hand around Bucky’s.

He looks down at his lap, where your hands are conjoined, and he nods.

“Yeah, no, that’s great.” He says quietly, he looks up at Steve, “That’s great.” He throws him a small smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Buck, there’s more I wanted to tell you.” Steve says, this time also looking at you.

You squint your eyes together unexpectedly. He hadn’t told you that.

“More?” You ask.

Bucky takes a deep breath and runs a hand down his face, whimpering slightly.

“As much as I appreciate all this, I just need a second, please.” He begs.

You and Steve watch as Bucky rests both his elbows on his knees, hiding his face in his hands.

“I know I wasn’t allowed to hear what they told you in there, but Jesus, Bucky, please.”

Bucky sits silently for a few minutes.

Eventually, he clears his throat.

“She cheated on me.”

You run your hands up the side of his face. You bring his head until it’s on your shoulder, stunned.

He looks up at you, pained.

“You were right. You had always been right.” He says pathetically.

Your worst suspicions confirmed true to send a trigger of emotions up your spine.

You are disgusted, angry, but most importantly, you’re sorry you were right.

You wiped his cheeks with your thumbs, your fest crestfallen in shame.

“Fuck. I just don’t get it. It’s so fucked.” He spats. “It was my father. One of the men.”

Now, this -- this shocks you.

“W-What?”

Your eyes met Steve’s. He’s quiet, but he looks like he’s thinking. Which is not a good emotion for someone who just overheard something so betraying.

It hits you.

“Did you know this?” You ask him, hoping the answer is no.

Steve’s face falls as he looks between you and Bucky.

“I found out recently. I was going to tell you both today. I’m sorry.”

Bucky should’ve been angry, and you and Steve were both expecting some kind of blow out, but he must’ve been so tried because all he did was let his shoulders slump.

“It’s fine, man. I just— It’s hard. I, trusted her for so long. I know it sounds fucking selfish but I feel like I’ve been gaslighted.” He says.

Bucky feels Steve’s hand come down on his shoulder.

“We’ll figure all this out,” Steve says.

You’re still shocked as you run a hand through your hair.

“I can’t believe she’d do something like this to you. I mean, I always had my doubts and my suspicions, but Bucky,” your eyes lift back up to meet his and you feel your own swelling with tears, “But I didn’t want you to get hurt. You don’t deserve this torture.”

Bucky said nothing, staring down at his hands.

He was tired.

Tired of being lied to, of being betrayed.

He took a deep breath, turning back towards his best friend.

“What else was it that you wanted to say?” He asks, clearly trying to change the subject.

You and Steve shared a look as if saying “he’s not okay”.

“Bucky—“ Steve starts, trying to turn the conversation back.

“Please.” Bucky begs.

Steve takes a deep breath and you reach your hand back to hold Bucky’s. He doesn’t hesitate to hold yours back, tightly.

“Did, uhm, did she ever say anything to the two of you in regards to her health?”

The question perks both of your interests.

“Nothing, she always seemed fine.” You say. Your eyes dart back to Bucky, knowing very well he asked the same question a few days ago.

His face is emotionless as he responds, “Why?” “Well look at this.” He pulls out two pieces of paper.

Bucky looks at it immediately, his face growing with concern.

Steve watches him as he talks.

“I had a confrontation with Ashlyn while you were away. She confessed to me that when she was young, in high school, she suffered issues with depression. She was diagnosed when she was of legal age. She told me she tried to keep it a secret from everyone because she didn’t want to be looked at differently, but I wasn’t sure if she really hadn’t told any of you.”

Your heart sank with every word. You felt your tears filling with tears.

You looked at Bucky who looked nothing short of concerned now. He shook his head in disbelief.

“How the hell did you get this?” He looks over the medical record over and over again, “This is from a job background check, I don’t—“ suddenly, he cuts himself short as he makes the connection, “No, he wouldn’t. He knew?”

It just kept getting worst.

You felt the tears on your waterline.

“Why would she keep something like this from me? From her family?” You were rambling as your vision became cloudy.

“I don’t know, maybe fear of looking inferior. She needs help. We need to help her.” Steve says.

You and Bucky were both distraught, but mostly you as you rose up to your feet.

Bucky watched as you pulled on your hair, pacing the room. You were both processing two different things.

“How could she not tell us? I don’t understand.” You repeated over and over again.

“Why the fuck would he keep something like this from me?” Bucky snapped as he looked between the both of you, “None of this shit makes fucking sense. None of this mess makes fucking sense.”

Steve takes a deep breath.

“I know this is hard. I know that. I feel like we’ve all, every single one of us has been fucked over in this situation. But we need to save each other now,” Steve looks directly as you still feel your heart pacing away quickly in your chest, “As much as I know she did very bad things, she did horrible things, I think there’s more to this than what meets the eyes. There’s a reason, Bucky,” He looks at Bucky this time, “There’s a reason why your father kept this hidden. I’m not trying to justify her actions, but for her to go from zero to one hundred after, probably around the time your dad got a hold on this, don’t you think that’s remotely ironic?”

Bucky was pulling on his own hair this time, elbows again on his knees.

He was shaking his head back and forth.

“I — I don’t know. This is too much.” Bucky licked his lips, “It doesn’t matter, she cheated on me, her illness does not justify that kind of action. People who have those things aren’t bad people. She is a bad person, Rogers.”

“I know that, Bucky. But it doesn’t make sense. At the beginning of your relationship, she seemed to have been at least remotely in control of her decisions and her mind. It wasn’t until she started working for your dad that she started suffering.”

“What are you suggesting?” You ask quietly.

“I don’t know, maybe — maybe he did something to her. Maybe he found a way to get into her head.”

“But at what cost?” Bucky snaps, standing up on his two feet, pointing out the window, “at what fucking cost?”

“We need to find out,” Steve looked down at his folders and thinks, they all think for a bit, “are you sure there’s nothing else he left for you? Maybe a clue?”

Bucky looked at Steve like he was crazy.

“A clue?” He asks.

“Yes. A safe, something with a lock, a piece of a written document, audio recording, video?” Steve lists.

Bucky sighs.

“I don’t know. I never bothered to look for anything like that.” Bucky says.

“Steve, what are you thinking?” You ask, reluctantly.

“Maybe it’s my attorney-at-law brain, but I have a feeling that it’s not at all what we think. We went into this thinking he wanted to give everything to Ashlyn. I don’t think it’s that simple. He left something, I know he did.”

With those few words from Steve, you spun around, taking a deep breath.

It was too much for you to process in such a small amount of time.

Just walking into the building itself nauseated him. After his talk with Steve, and after spending a great portion of the night staying up talking with you, he finally gathered up the balls to go to the office to try and find what could possibly be the “clue”.

He had begged, wanting to come with him, but he assured you that you needed rest. After all, he still knew how conflicted you felt about doing what you did to your sister, and now even more after finding out about her underlying illnesses.

You needed time to think before you eventually spoke with her. He waited until you were snoring in softly into his sturdy chest before he left.

He didn’t hesitate a second to log into his work computer. The blue light of the screen lit of up his face in the dark.

And he spent an hour, two hours, two hours and a half, digging through his hard drive, his external hardrive and any file he could possibly find on his computer.

By the time his eyes were burning, it was nearing two am. He gave up.

There was nothing to find, he concluded. There was no fucking clue. It was simple, his father just always wanted to make his life miserable, it had nothing to do with ulterior motives or reasoning.

He was an asshole and a man whore. Easy as that.

But still, as Bucky rested his arms on the table, he couldn’t help but think he was missing something.

He quickly got up from the leather chair (a hand-me-down from his heartless father), and made his way to the bookshelf on the far right side of the room.

He knew there were some things in here left by his father, some older USBs mixed within but he was aware only held outdated information.

He found in the corner on the bottom shelf and he pulled it out until it landed with a soft thud on the floor.

He opened the grey/green box and rummaged through old office knacks and pens until he found two of the USBs.

He quickly inserted them into his laptop and restarted his search.

He must’ve spent an additional thirty minutes looking through them, only to come out empty handed again.

He was tired, as he groaned into his hand.

His father, once again, had played him.

The emotions of the day hit him with full force, mixed in with exhaustion.

His father was a bastard, this room that once used to be his, now Bucky’s, was tainted with venom.

Bucky slammed his laptop closed and cursed as strong sob escaped his mouth.

He was so, so tired.

With a deep breath, he reached down and grabbed the newton’s cradle off the desk, throwing it at the wall on the other side of the room.

It made a huge bang sound, most likely denting the wall and possibly the floor as it fell to the ground.

Bucky slid down the front of his desk, pulling on his hair as he bent his knees up to his chest.

How could he have been so oblivious and stupid?

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He groaned. With a whimper, he lifted his head up, letting it hit back against the large wooden desk. He stared up at the ceiling, cursing himself for being so useless.

He was so tired.

He straightened out his head, allowing his eyes to gaze over the metal cradle he had just thrown.

He almost laughed at how much it didn’t even break. Pathetic.

Only the rectangle base had come off. His eyes slid across the floor to its possible destination. It landed by the chair on the right side by the window over looking the city.

Stupid piece of trash. He never understood why his dad liked that thing.

It looked liked even a piece of the rectangle itself broke off, he noticed.

His eyes squinted, drifting back to the original piece.

But the rectangle was in a full piece.

That small piece wasn’t part of the cradle.

No…

Bucky stands up, with the help of the desk, and he looks at the USB chip across the room in fear.

He felt himself shaking as he walked up to the drive.

It takes him longer than it needed to for him to reach down and pick up the emasculate piece of what could only be the answer to his worst nightmares.

He swallowed thickly, wrapping it tightly into a fist.

His fingers shook when he slid it into his computer, and even more so when not even a password was needed to unlock it.

That easy.

Bucky swallowed as he watched the blue loading line reach the one hundred mark, followed by a video ready to be pressed play.

In the thumbnail was his father, clearly months before his death. He still looked semi-healthy and well.

Bucky didn’t know if he wanted to know anymore; the truth.

He had watched twelve other videos that day, those of which consisted of his wife being fucked by other men.

He couldn’t handle it anymore.

But he knew he had to.

For the sake of his own sanity, his friends, his girlfriend, and his baby that could’ve still been here.

Hesitantly, he presses play.

“You were always a thrower.”

Bucky feels his pulse deep in his head.

His father, grey-haired and blue-eyed, stared intently into the camera.

“I remember when you were just nine years old, and you begged your mom and me for a new Tonka truck. We said no, of course, and you threw your legos all across the living room floor. You could never handle not getting what you wanted,” Bucky felt his blood heating up as the voice echoed in the room. His face was blank, emotionless, “but you were also always too good. I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle this, this business, this company. Not with the heart that you had.”

Bucky swallowed thickly.

“I found out my cancer came back and I knew this family would’ve been screwed at your puny hands.”

Bucky’s face crumpled and his chest tightened.

“You would’ve given it all away, would a child step foot in here asking for three million dollars because he was dying, you wouldn’t hesitate to help. I knew I needed to plant evil into your heart, I needed to plant motive, a motive for you to make this company what it was always meant to be.”

Bucky’s breath quickened as his father’s words grew louder, his face more stern.

“You were always like your mother. Weak, nimble, always thought too much with your heart, not enough with your brain.” He says it with so much disgust that Bucky blinks away tears that have formed. He remember all the time his father had touched his mother and now he wishes he never let him, “At one point I even considered maybe giving the company over to Rogers. After all, he’s a lot smarter than you. The true son I never had.”

A lonely tear runs down Bucky’s left eye.

“But recently, an idea came to me in the form of a dark angel. Your dearest and truly one of a kind, pretty little Ashlyn y/l/n.”

Bucky sucked in a deep breath.

“I didn’t care for her that much at first, not until I saw her medical records and I realized I would be able to use her to achieve my beautiful plan.”

He watches in disgust as his father shows off a wicked smile.

“I knew I would be able to convince her that we needed her, oh how much we needed her; that what she would do to you wouldn’t be bad, but instead help us. I convinced her that she had found true happiness and she believed me. She became addicted to this life. Because of that, I knew that without hesitating, she would do whatever it took to keep this place afloat, above any moral and promises she would make to you. She was already a hundred times more worthy than you ever wore.”

Another tear escapes his eyes and Bucky takes in another breath.

“But you are watching this, so I assume you found out about us. Except there is no us. I could’ve cared less about her. I only did what I did so I could teach her how to be strong. I didn’t just have her sign companies over to us, but I taught her how to make sacrifices. Sacrifices, James. At the end of the day, I could care less about that child. Even though I knew you’d marry her. Such a pretty face, and a good lay too. How you were always so naive, James.”

Bucky’s lip turned into a snarl at his father’s words.

“You couldn’t get yourself a strong lady like Nat, you had to go find a damn fool. One that I fooled oh so damn well. I knew you wouldn’t like the idea of the will, I knew it would infiltrate into the darkest of your desires, the one I always secretly wanted to harbor in you for years - the realization that this company was your families, so you treat it like it’s yours.”

“I also knew you would eventually find out about the affairs, with weak friends like yours who would always have your back, of course you would find out eventually.”

"I made you angry, now didn’t I son?”

Bucky was quickly opening and closing his hand, trying to contain his anger and heartbreak as much as he could.

“I planted that seed in your heart, didn’t I? The desire to want to take something back because it’s truthfully yours, the desire to want to hate and ruin another simply because they have what is yours. Do you see the theme here? You think I’d really give it all away to some dumb slut who can’t tell the difference between a forged will and a real one? How was it overlooked, you ask? Well, lets just say I have my ways, which you would’ve learned if you weren’t such a disappointment for a human.”

A sob escapes Bucky’s lips.

“But, I would assume that after all that happened, you’ve grown, and you had a realization, haven’t you? You’re a little smarter than you were before I was around, huh? And do you know why that is, James? Do you know?”

Bucky quickly blinked, suddenly afraid.

“It’s because you’ve learned to appreciate what it means to not take anymore shit. This world is black and white. There’s good and there’s evil. There’s intelligence and there’s pure idiocy. Which one are you?”

“This is my goodbye to you. I hope I’ve taught you my ultimate lesson. The one I never had a chance to while I was alive. I’ll see you again soon.”

The screen went dark as it finished, and Bucky stared at it blankly as more tears fell and fell from his swollen eyes.

A hard sobbed racked through his body as he brought a fist up to his forehead. He rested his elbow on the desk and sobbed out loud for the first time that day.

And he cried and cried, and cried.

____

It had been a week since Bucky had watched the video that you and all your friends eventually watched, too.

You all feared for Bucky’s well being. He had been silent for so many days, only saying short words answers, most of the time choosing instead to just stare out into space.

You all knew he was traumatized. You and Steve had helped deal with the legal issues of it all, bringing it to Fury’s attention.

He had been just as shocked as everyone else, not understanding how any of it could’ve been overlooked by the authorities. Even though the will Ashlyn had signed was a fake, at the signings of the document (five years ago) she had signed other documents that followed it that still allowed her access to any assets.

Fury didn’t hesitate one second to put Steve on the case. He would be Bucky’s lawyer.

The real enemy in all of this had been George Barnes, and because of the video evidence, it would be easy to win the case.

Five days, and you still hadn’t spoken to your sister.

Five days was how long it took for word to finally reach Ashlyn.

It had been Steve who broke the news to her.

He was sitting at the foot of her bed and his face had a look she couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Ashlyn’s heart hurt inside her chest after Steve told her about the video and what George had said.

“I need to see it.” She said through clenched teeth.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “I’m not weak, Steve. Please.”

Steve looked at her for a second longer before sighing and nodding his head. He would bring in the video some other day for her to see.

“So he knows,” Ashlyn says.

“He knows about your condition, yes." “Don’t say it like that.” “I know, I’m sorry.”

“He still doesn’t want to see you, Ashlyn. He—“ Steve took a deep breath, “He said he’s sorry he ever brought you into this situation. He didn’t mean to make this worst on you, and if he knew what you had been going through, he would’ve never let you near his father. He thinks he’s to blame for what happened. He said he should’ve kept a better watch on you and he hates himself for it.”

Ashlyn scoffs as tears line her eyes.

“But what you did, the way you cheated on him for so long, you even developed feelings for another man, that has nothing to do with your bipolar. That is in no way related, Ashlyn. You knew what you were doing when you did it, so you can understand why he still isn’t ready to see you personally. Why he still doesn’t forgive you. Because of what you did, you pushed him away and fell in love with someone else. That is something George can’t be to blame. That was you. I know you had your issues, but you knew you could’ve been stronger.”

Ashlyn wiped her tears on the back of her sleeve.

“He says you two fell out of love a long time ago, and faith or not faith, it just wasn’t mean to be. He’s not ready to forgive you, but he is extremely pained for the emotional turmoil his father put you through.”

Ashlyn watched as Steve pulled out a piece of paper from an orange envelope.

“He’s found, you some good doctors. He wants you to take care of yourself.”

Ashlyn took the envelope from him.

“He also says you can’t stay here anymore. He’s putting the place up for sale. He says it’s not good for you to be here, that you need to move on. It will be better for your health. There are too many memories in here. He said you should start looking elsewhere for a new job and a new apartment. After the case is closed, you will no longer be an employer at Barnes Enterprises. If you need help looking, I can try my best, but that shouldn’t be too hard for you considering everyone will know who you are.”

Ashlyn took a deep breath and looked up towards the ceiling as she held the paper with the doctor’s names in her hands.

Steve looked at her for a while before dropping his gaze.

“This whole thing, what George did to us all, it was fucked up.”

Ashlyn didn’t respond, a faraway look still in her eyes.

“And the divorce papers?” She asked.

Steve cleared his throat.

“I have those, too.”

“Did he already sign his half?” “Yes.”

She nodded again.

“I don’t want to sign anything until I talk to my sister.”

Steve stared at her for a beat before nodding.

five days later...

“We want to thank you for coming on the show tonight. We wanted to start by asking you one question: Is Ashlyn Barnes still in any way affiliated with Barnes’ Enterprises?”

Bucky swallowed thickly, the bright light of the recording camera making his head swirl.

He cleared his throat.

“Thanks for having me on. I want to start off by saying that as of right now, my wife Ashlyn is still affiliated with the company, yes.”

“There are rumors about a split, which are concerning investors like Pym and Stark Industries.”

Bucky took a deep breath.

“Regardless of any change that may come our way, they can be certain that they will be safe. We are taking appropriate measures to make sure there’s no deficit anywhere. Barnes’ Enterprises will remain at the top and I will protect all my clients. It’s my responsibility, and I will not step away from that.”

And the number one reason Bucky hated his father was because even though George Barnes was a soulless Devin incarnate, he had been right.

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