#does this sounds depressing or..
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ngl sometimes i wished i had writer mutuals in here,, like im working on a new smau and i LITERALLY CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DO AND I HAVE NO ONE TO ASK FOR HELP. my brain is going to die from thinking.
and i see so many people that i follow talking with their mutuals and it's so cute but like i wish i could experience the same thing ughh😕💔
#— 𝜗𝜚 moni chats#does this sounds depressing or..#like im not that sad#but i wished i had friends here#i have like two mutuals that i hsed to talk to but they log into Tumblr anymore#and my irl friends are... erm they don't know ab this account except two#and neither of them gaf ab my writing😭#wait i meant they don't log into tumrbl*#I can't type
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Maybe this won't be relevant for a while but I want everyone to know that key to my characterization of Ichirou is this: number one fact about Ichirou Moriyama is that he's hot and could kill literally any character on a whim and get away with it scott free and he knows it. Number two fact about Ichirou Moriyama is that he's kind of a sad loser
#ichirou moriyama#LISTEN. LISTEN. I know we all love the suave millionaire mafia boss. I get#and I don't mean that he CAN'T be like that. he is.#it's just that also he has no family or peers. who the fuck does this man even talk to when he goes home at night#any romantic partner he could have has to be a) an arranged marriage to someone who is hierarchically inferior to him in every way b) an#illicit affair with someone who is his hierarchical inferior in every way#like sure he has money and power. hes a 24yo CEO mafia boss. there's still no one in the world that loves him#and that's kind of pathetic!#its the kind of life that sound cool or hot when it's like played as a fantasy. and just fucking empty and depressing when you stop to think
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I am hopelessly endeared by Lando saying he frets while picking out his own paddock outfits https://www.rollingstone.com/product-recommendations/lifestyle/lando-norris-ralph-lauren-polo-red-campaign-1235132711/
That is SO cute he's just a Boy like I DID have doubts that he had a stylist just because he wasn't working with brands but knowing that he's like brainstorming his little outfits probably bookmarking inspo fits on tiktok and sending the group chat (Max) pics being like "? Do I look lik a tossr" is just The cutest thing ever. I think it's Very Lamdo to stress about it and then be like WHATEVER IT'S NOT LIKE I KNOW FASHION THIS DOESN'T MATTER and then still wear it and is soooo secretly pleased when people hype up his fit. He's GONNA be a lil self conscious about it but he's always Gonna Do It.

#i need to do my lando fits list when will depression depart and make way for creativity!!!!!#also god bless the rolling stone writer that transcribed this he sounds so coherent where he usually does in print LOL#lando
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FMA 03 is the show of all time because it gets more difficult and traumatizing the older you get. I've watched it when I was 12 and obviously didn't understand how complex it was, but it burned itself into my brain anyway; I rewatched it when I was twenty something and somehow got re-traumatized despite it never leaving my memory. It can be depressing and mentally draining and nothing compares to the despair I feel rewatching it, but it's just something else in the best possible sense.
#fma03#fma 2003#fullmetal alchemist#look i understand that the bleakness isn't for everyone#and broho is popular because it's a hopeful 'power of friendship' battle shounen and there's nothing wrong with battle shounen#but boy does broho make me feel nothing after experiencing 03 and its direction#sound visuals themes plot points#seiji mizushima and sho aikawa were insane for all of it#the most depressing shit ever is my favorite anime of all time and it says nothing about me at all#oh and the manga was fine and i read it several times#but broho is too much for me
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Tbh I think I'd be a lot more into stannis if he wasn't bald. Like I'll see stannisgirls raving about how tragic and cringefail he is and I'm like that sounds great in theory however he's bald. gross
#.txt#I think he's like my least favorite baratheon simply because he has no hair. sorry I'm peladophobic#like if I think about it objectively he's a more interesting character than renly. but ewww he's b*ld 🤢#I'm including joffrey tommen and myrcella in the baratheons I like more than stannis btw. they're real to me#the fake plate of corn children win over stannis bc they've got better hair#I think my least favorite is actually shireen sorry she doesn't do anything. well neither does myrcella but um#idk I just like her family more. and she's my canon oc ❤#which again cringefail toxic dragonstone polycule sounds right up my alley. but i kinda dgaf about them#they're too fail and not cunty enough it's just depressing
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here we go. the most random poll yet!
#it just randomly struck me that many people probably receive text messages from their dads#but i never did (because mine did not like technology or ever get an iphone) and never will (because he died)#i swear i don't mean for that last part to sound depressing. just factual!#dollsome does polls
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i did say i wouldnt post any of those negative 'whatever is wrong with me' kinda of thigns bc i know how annoying they get and its only gonna hurt me more in the long run, didnt i :C
#ganondoodles talks#personal#okay okay okay maybe NOW maybe NOW i can shut up#i am still feeling incredibly weird#its very depression like with this nothings fun and everythings gettign worse and pointless stuff#but then also theres this dizziness and .. constantly tesning my muscles which i didnt use to do#like especially my shoulders (constantly tense and pulled up) jaw rly clenched or just .. tense and hands almost cramping-#-the secodn i stop paying attention to them (like making a fist hard enough my fingernails leave dents)#and some people said it sounds like burn out .. but from WHAT#i work 4 hours a day (usually) digitally and from home- the weather is nice and i spend at least an hour outside each day#i have barely drawn anything in MONTHS#i dont feel like it can burn out from that though i do kinda start to resent my work (job) though i should consider myself lucky to be ther#and i dont think theres any other job i could do where i dont get in trouble immediately for being .. undiagnosed whatever many things#my coworker is currently working after suffering a severe head injury- hes not forced to do it but he does it anyway#HE would have a reason to be burnt tf out but ME? the floppy guy working from home part time even though i live 10 minutes away?#embarassing really- i feel ashamed to even feel like this
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Okay okay FINE due to popular demand (2 people) i'm proud to announce I'll be cosplaying tits out no thoughts in brain Dorm Malleus at Anime Expo 2024 see u there godspeed 🫡
#I still have major depression but if I don’t order this costume right now it’s not gonna get here in time#ppl are gonna see me from behind and be like#wOW ITS MALLEUS DRACON–#and then I’m gonna turn around and stare like this with my cleavage out in front of God and Crowley#fuck#it turns out i have to measure my calves for his fucking heels i hate him why does this sound like an impossible soul crushing task for me#why do i have to wear heels to a convention please no god no#i did that once when I was 18 and im sad to announce i am no longer immortal nor am i god's strongest soldier#im gonna chicken out last minute and wear my balenciaga sneakers#do you think the lord of malevolence would rock that drip?#i disappear for so long and i come back like this...................... goodbye to my weakest followers 😔 im sorry i couldn't be normal
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What does it mean to lose something? I
Vo kehte hai na
aur jab pasand ki chij hi na mile, fir chaahe jo marji mil jaaye kya fark padata hai !!
When we lose something or someone it's not just them that we lose....we also end up losing a part of ourselves with them and that hurts more than losing the person or the thing I think.
Saalon baad jab aap uss ek khoyi hui chij ko yaad karenge toh aap uss chij se jyada shayad apne aap ko yaad karenge Jo uss chij se juda hua tha or uss chij ke saath kho gya.
The grief of losing something never leaves you. Log kehte hai ki ek waqt ke baad fark nhi padta, ek waqt ke baad yaad nhi aati....magar Aisa nhi hota...fark padta hai, yaad aati hai bas hum usske saath jeena seekh jaate hai. Dard utna hi hota hai magar hum usse sehna sikh jaate hai.
To me...to lose something...means losing a part of myself with it. Whenever I lose something or someone I never wanted to part ways with.... I feel that the thing or the person tears apart from inside me and leaves me to bleed forever.
#does that makes sense#kyu likha maine ye#that sounds like such a weirdo#dusri baar padha bhi nhi jaa rha#shitposting#shitpost#depressing shit#desi shit posting#desi tumblr#desi girl#desi tag#desi aesthetic#desiblr#dayaar e ishq#ishq thoughts
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Mspaint is really fun actually—
#castlevania#castlevania games#simon belmont#castlevania ii#castlevania simon’s quest#simon’s quest#castlevania ii: simon's quest#akumajo dracula#akumajou dracula#art post#my art#art wip#the colors are definitely a bit off in photos augh#eventually once it’s done I’ll be able to put the actual image tho#listened to a lot of malice mizer songs I hadn’t heard yet drawing this :3#I’ve been trying to actually get into visual kei properly cause I love how the genre sounds and have been listening to Gackt since forever#but I kept putting off doing it for some reason 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#does anyone else get the thing where you go ‘oh yeah this band is so good’#and then listen to like maybe the same three songs over and over and over again (X X ;)#yeahg anyway Simon again yay :3#augh I really wanna actually work on comic ideas for him but aaaaaaa#another thing does anyone else like suddenly stop being able to do things like ok#I’ll want to do something and then get ready to do it and suddenly lose all energy and drive for it for no reason#and I still! want! to do it! augh!#but I’ll put my hand to paper and it’ll go limp like I’ve never held a pencil like bro come on don’t do this to me now 💀💀💀#I’ll be able to start some new mspaint painting totally fine tho (XwX)#I’m pretty positive I have something mentally wrong with me tbh high suspicion of autism maybe adhd could be depression who knows idk#ack anyway drawing the tragically beautiful 1600s vampire hunter about it
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anyone else feel like people misunderstand what you’re actually trying to say and then they don’t have the patience to let you fully clarify
#like i know it’s got to be a problem with me im sure. the number of times this has happened in the past week#explodes#im just like. idk man i used to write really good essays. i feel like im pretty good at making sense and conveying my point. and yet#am i just not on the same wavelength anymore. spend too much time talking to myself and ofc i know what i mean#i feel like this sounds a lot more depressing than i feel lmao im just like. how does this keep happening and why. scientific study#mine
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ive been rereading your ffxv fic "im trying hard to take it back" for literally four years now. please end my suffering and tell me how gladio feels. please. PLEASE. (but only if u want ofc)
(fic) Short answer: Gladio feels insane guilt and spends a lot of his life trying to make this up to Prompto. In the process, they deepen their connection as friends and do begin a relationship probably around the one-year mark of endless darkness. <3
Longer answer: (implications of abuse/violence tw but no worse than in the fic itself; just what others assume to be true even if it's not in the context of this specific fic)
Gladio is a secret romantic at heart who has always envisioned meeting his soulmate, but he's also duty-bound and duty comes first. So even though he reads romance books (amongst other types of books too) and indulges in his head a bit as many people do, he's often put his duty to the crown first and foremost in his mind. He also didn't imagine his soulmate was anyone on this trip and thought perhaps the person he may have been fated to meet died in the assault of Insomnia. Even if they were a refugee, they can't be a priority to him at this moment. His priority has to be Noctis.
Prompto has obviously grown on him over the course of their road trip, but there are aspects of them that don't 100% mesh (as is true with every realistic relationship). That said, Gladio never in a hundred years would want this moment of (understandable but out of line) frustration and anger in the wake of Luna and Altissa to be a permanent mark on Prompto's face. He's genuinely horrified and disgusted with himself for a long time after this and spends most of his life trying to make it up. He feels like a dirtbag about it.
That said, Prompto runs away from him in this moment and they need time to calm down, just as the fic shows. Noctis goes after Prompto, just like in canon. Prompto falls off the train and has his Despair Arc just like in the DLC, now with the added despair of "well, in addition to being a clone, my soulmate hates me. And in addition to the mark of inhumanity on my wrist (barcode), I have a giant hand print of him literally Shoving Me Away on my face. Forever."
Aranea: Well, do you want to die about it. Or do you want to live.
Prompto, eventually like in canon: Live, I guess. But it will be excruciating.
Aranea: That's what living is. We do it anyway. Your friends love you. Get off the floor.
He fights his way through his issues and gets rescued like in canon. Gladio probably tries to talk to him when they all catch up again, trying to apologize, and Prompto tells him to hold off on that for later.
Then, of course, Noctis is eaten by the crystal and "later" becomes much, much later as they evacuate and try to survive in eternal darkness. (Though they also can't Not think about it because it's a giant hand print. On Prompto's face. And every person they meet has Something To Say about it, for better or worse, whether they knew Prompto before or not. Prompto cannot escape it, and when Gladio is not doing Crown Duties he feels he must do in Noct's absence, he's with Prompto, so he also Cannot Escape It either. Even when the person speaking is unaware that Gladio left that mark. It's almost worse when they don't know, but when they see it's Gladio, who is such a big guy who seemingly hit Prompto and left that permanent mark there, some of them get nasty to him and some back off out of fear. Both are horrible. The guilt is eating him alive.)
Eventually, enough time passes as the dust settles that they do Talk About It. Gladio apologizes sincerely, for the 500th time. Prompto's like, "Well. It's not like you could have known that this would be The One Time it happened." And then cracks a joke about their soulmate mark being a Prompto's hand print on Gladio's ass from a butt slap in another life, which does help the tension somewhat. (The more Gladio tries to apologize, the more Prompto grows sick of hearing it, so they just have to move on and keep going, as he's learned to do.)
They grow closer over time, especially because there's not a lot of people who have survived to this point and even less later on. They do get together romantically, both because they do like the idea of soulmates (for different reasons) and also because they're living out of each others pockets for years, so there's an affection and dependency that develops there. Also, teenage Prompto always thought Gladio was really handsome and teen Gladio thought Prompto was cute and sincere for a pipsqueak.
When they are out together on dates in normal settings surrounded by strangers after the light returns, Gladio will receive dirty looks for the rest of his life from strangers who see the hand print on Prompto's face and immediately (correctly) assumes it was out of anger rather than a funny accident or something. (Edit: Some people will assume there is a funny story attached. Gladio will not know what to say to this. Prompto will play along.) He will learn to live with this. Prompto is really grateful Gladio is with him despite everything.
#FOUR YEARS that's so flattering adjklasjldkja;fsal; thank you for reading and for caring after all this time. it genuinely means a lot#if you were looking for a cuter/succinct answer i'm so sorry and can definitely give you one. this was just one of my more realistic aus#my text#asks#my fic#promptio#ffxv#for the record i don't think gladio and prompto are Rock Solid for the full 10 years in this au#i think they have periods in the darkness where they separate for a while. out of necessity. as many in the dark do.#whether due to feeling antsy or personality clashes or conflicting traumas of what they've had to deal with and Missing Noct and#Losing Faith and Regaining Faith and Obligations and The Horrors and so on#but I do think they cannot escape each other especially with gladio's hand print on prompto's face and so they can't Not think about#each other always. prompto in the mirror. gladio in his dreams.#so they are always drawn together and they do work things out and get used to each other#and end up relatively happy together in the end#they lean on each other a lot in the post-noct times#especially gladio who doesn't know what to do with himself without noctis always and ignis is equally lost#making themselves useful but running around the same ruts in the ground as always#and prompto is over here pulling himself up by his boostraps while pretending he's not crying in the caravan bathroom#like they all are#i do NOT mean for this to sound as depressing as it does. I think like years 1-2 post Hand Incident are really rough with moments of light#and then all the times after that are super solid <3#they DO end up happy together it just takes a lot of hard work and they know each other better than anyone by the end#thank you again for sending this ask after 4 years it is so wonderful to read
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new pura, we're finally being fed
#merhen sounds so fucking good#not my ass thinking why does ryutaro look so sad why is the music so depressing 😭 i forgot im listening to plastic fucking tree
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answering I have no point of view of rhaegar but the mentions are from people who were in love with him joncon, cercei or people like barristan who is an ass kisser who follows the megalomaniac daenerys who believes that rhaegar was perfect, besides he says that he could not be happy something like that following ned is not a reliable point of view either because he arrived when lyanna was dying neither viserys or the maniac daenerys are not reliable because they believe in the propaganda that her brother fought for the woman he loved a means to justify his crimes 2 being a tough stubborn and intelligent girl does not make you not be a victim of manipulation or grooming of what he did he let a girl die alone he fought for her father he made a child live with the stigma also his guards took ned away from his sister in a traumatic moment. 3 of course he didn't plan to die because he's like his sister Daenerys who believes that everything revolves around them and that they alone can save the world because in their megalomania they believe that they could get away with it, he was so arrogant to believe that he was going to be victorious
ned is not a reliable point of view ned is a hypocrite who let his wife mistreat his nephew who let horrible things happen who basically dismissed lyanna's feelings about robert who said that brandon and lyanna sought their endings who blamed lyanna's savagery on her sister and not the idiot who took advantage of her she the one truly responsible was rhaegar so ned who is not an example of morality when it comes to jon or lyanna because he failed them both
I know it was a fever dream but it doesn't change anything. He was irresponsible for taking her to Dome. It's a land where she would be far away from everyone and dangerous because of his wife's family. It could put Lyanna and Jon in danger because he was even a fool to take a girl that he turned into his lover to his wife's land. I'm not a fan of Elia Martell. In fact, she's a tertiary character that I don't care about.
anon,
glad you seem to know what a period is, though i wish you used it more often.
also, you’re delusional, and frankly, i don’t think you’ve read a single Daenerys chapter.
#somehow every character who thinks well of rhaegar is so biased that they’re 100% wrong about rhaegar’s personality#somehow despite understanding the fact that we don’t have rhaegar’s POV you still state your headcanons as fact#i think dany looks up to rhaegar and admires him but she does think he was wrong for embarrassing elia at the tourney of harrenhall#that doesn’t sound like someone who thinks their big brother is perfect#just sounds like a young teenage girl desperate for a connection to her family#btw anon i have a soft spot for characters who exhibit signs of depression#so i really despise the idea that rhaegar was never happy#especially since rhaegar and lyanna stayed in a tower rhaegar called the tower of JOY. like hello?? sounds like he was happy with lyanna#what the hell is your 2nd point even about? you are so contradictory#kinda getting concerned for you#i do agree that ned failed both jon and lyanna but this doesn’t mean he’s not a reliable pov#what is dome#i think it was a good idea to hide lyanna in dorne near starfall aka the home of his closest friend#anon answered#super tired so this is chaotic#may these anons never find me again
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Can't wait for Atsushi to enter his depression era in the next episode
#I feel that how Atsushi feels right now - in the events following Akutagawa's death - isn't really exposed because things are moving so fast#And I don't have a very clear image of how he would feel– I've read a lot of different takes that sound equally realistic#I used to think he would have been mostly indifferent (fault to chapter 88 where he seems to barely care. tbh)#But now that he showed that he /does/ care in the last chapter#I feel like there's a real chance he'd enter a major depression era / something irreparably broke inside of him /#“I never cared about him so why do I feel like I was the one who died on that ship”#Y'know.#atsushi nakajima#sskk#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s5#bsd season 5
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