#does hair guy still have nice hair
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Inde watches “The Rollin’ on the River Job”
Leverage Redemption 1x03
��Hardison had to have a lot of practice before Eliot agreed to open those van doors” yes please missing 12 years lore (or original run lore) either way I love
I kinda love how Sophie just keeps referring to Harry as our Mr Wilson it’s cute. She really working to make him feel included
Oof growing pains with Sophie coming back and Parker being the mastermind
Really love Hardison’s algorithm. Love how he’s still helping them find clients
Ahhhh callbacks to learning it’s not always about the money with clients
“I lost count of my marriages, but I only had one husband” my heart
15 MANUALS WHERE
Sophie being happy to be back on a stage
”I’m Parker” yes you are
“We have to rob the vault” “YES” Parker my beloved she deserves all the vents and vaults 
Brennas “trash bags from couch, couch” the implications there
Telling Sophie to walk off after her “let’s go steal” get her back in the groove hahaha
a con with a flow chart Hardison making those for her and helping her ahhh I love them
“Are you using a flow chart for all your interactions” SO WHAT IF SHE IS and where can I get one
The Mark being upset about not being verified on Twitter goodness, they really thought these guys through 
Goodness, Eliot transitioning into OK I was a cop why is he so dramatic 😭this man closeted theater kid I swear the slight accent and tone change? Man suddenly sounded like he’s been through 40 years on the beat like what
I don’t like the cgi clay birds (idk why it bothers me like it would be cool if they learned ig )
I am not getting enough Parker and Eliot brainstorming moments together
Sophie that pink suit is stunning
Breanna already out and aboutttt
Gahgh nvm already benched
Gah the parallels of the newer team members growing like the originals
Parker’s you don’t like my dress? 🥺(also love that this is kinda mirroring the original run episode 3 bridesmaid dress? In a way)
Eliot bonding over cooking with the other security guard ahhh my heart
Ahhh more leverage friends??? I want all the lore
“It’s a very distinctive- hold on” the writers just couldn’t forget that love it
Ice cave, gorilla enclosure, catered a wedding I love these mentions
“Food sensory experience” Eliot you nerd
Harry’s little thumbs up to Breanna I love this duo
Nooo not Eliot’s new friend
Why they always go for typical Russian names we got Ivan Dimitri then the bodyguard is Jake??
Parker making Eliot smell the money haha I love them
Breanna coming in with the ideal gas law you smartical partical
Awww Eliot helping Dennis still and having game night (and the 7 shirt!!!)
THAT WAS MY CAKE PARKER (I love them so much)
Always trust the person inside the van (ugh Hardison I love your notes)
Ugh yeah Breanna me too about the world and the timeline of my life. I would love to kick it in the junk too.
With the pearl yes Parker!!! My beloved world famous thief
#my roomate walking in#does hair guy still have nice hair#yeah it’s just shorter than it was but season two it’ll get even longer#she’s just like okay 😂#leverage redemption#inde watches leverage redemption#inde watches#the rollin’ on the river job
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quick redraw of this from last year because i needed to feel good about myself :V
#post annihilation#saito sejima#kaname date#saidate#the reason i colored the first one originally was like#at least 50% for boss!date leg hair and you can't fucking see it#because i used to draw everything so tiny for no reason (guy who still does when he stops paying attention)#really the important improvement here is that i'm not weird and embarrassed about#doing finished art i'm happy with for things that also happen to be m/m ships#for the first year of posting on this account#every finished piece on here#like#70% of 'drawing' time was spent throwing up and hating myself. lmao#but you have all been exceptionally nice (except for those of you that haven't) and i'm fine now.#cringe but free.#and that's what really matters (please god tell me i've improved artistically i need you to tell me i'm talented and smart)#it's late and i'm tired. yapyapyap.#felis art#aitsf spoilers
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Fic-to-Art #44: Zuko and Katara meet Hotaru
This time around, my Patrons chose these two scenes from the prompt I offered them... and that prompt was "Hotaru", our tiny firefly herself <3 drawing her continues to be a challenge pertaining how to ever make babies look cute, but I hope she looks alright this time!
These two moments take place not too far from the other, but it's worth noting that Katara and Zuko don't get to see Hotaru at the exact same time. Thus, I figured I'd take advantage of the opportunity... and draw Sokka and Azula introducing their little one to their respective siblings. This will be an emotional chapter (lots of those coming up), but I do hope that these moments of happiness will be a good way to soothe the pains caused by our very intense angst from the current chapters... to be specific, this is chapter 378, so we're not that far away!! Just gotta wait a bit longer!
A part of me took joy in this specific prompt... the fandom has an abundance of "uncle Sokka" and "aunt Azula" content, be it with them together or not, while Zuko and Katara (also while together or not) happen to be the ones who become parents first. This often relegates their siblings to a secondary role, and too often there's either implications or outright accusations that these two just aren't fit for parenting. I don't really remember seeing much, if any, content where Zuko and Katara are the uncle and aunt instead... thus, I figured this would be a fun switch-up that, ultimately, doesn't mean any of these four aren't fit for parenting (Zuko's already a dad, Katara will be a mother someday in the future!)! It just means that Zuko and Katara get to bond with little Hotaru and be supportive siblings! And everyone's happy and wholesome in the process!
At any rate! I hope you guys like it, and as ever, if you'd like to be part of the creative process behind these pieces, a $1 pledge makes you eligible for suggesting art prompts and voting for the winner, as well as reading Gladiator snippets 6 days before the next chapter releases!
#sokkla#sokka#azula#katara#zuko#gladiator#fic-to-art project#I think the most annoying thing about drawing Zuzu is I never seem to make him look properly older#like what is it with him#is it my fault#why does he always feel babyfaced#and no it's not about facial hair okay#my Zuko has no beards he is beard-free and always will be (?)#but anyway#don't come at me with 'omg Zuko being the Iroh to Hotaru!' because NAY#HE'S BETTER#there I said it#the fact that he actually is interested in Azula's kids and is nice to all of 'em#(yes I mean all of 'em if you don't know what I mean go read my not-so-subtle future Gladiator oneshot from underneath starlit skies)#has officially made him a better uncle than Iroh I do not make the rules (oh wait maybe I do)#as for Katara she will be a very enthusiastic aunt#who always wants to babysit#and is always ready to make that baby smile somehow#so yes she will be a wonderful aunt herself#tbh Hotaru is a lucky baby in many ways and one of them#is that people actually wanna babysit her?? Sokkla don't really have to beg people to help them with that ahaha#helps that she's such an easygoing chill baby but still#this baby is LOVED#and that's facts#anyway please enjoy this before tomorrow's chapter makes you guys want to kill me :'D
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Butch euphoria really does come from the buzzcut huh?
#butch#butch tag#butch babbles#cutted of 13 in of hair yesterday and it was so nice#i like long hair and i looked good in it#but theres just something ab a buzzcut...#also got it dyed!#first time i ever dyed it so that was exciting#hoping this year can be my butchification year#need to go shopping again cause i litteraly have only one pair of shoes#and shit still when i was highschool so i NEED to hit the thriftstore over the summer lol#when i was ubber dysphoric lol so a fuck ton of hoodies i dont wear n dont fit#also really want to get my ears pierced#maybe buy black nailpolish#ough i know a guy who does tattoos who im kinda friends with#maybe i can get a dykeish tattoo or i can maybe let him freestyle what he wants#even though ive always have had a connection to masc womanhood#and most of my interactions and closest people are girls#bc i've id'd as a binary trans trans guy and bigender now I sometimes feel like I cant be a butch#also the biphobia that bi woman cant be butch has made me so hesitent#but im#Pushing and bulling myself to get out there#be unabashed
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All, der real
Me: they sure are perfect...damn
****HugeP***Hugo*****Hugo now ok**
This message has been brought to you by NASA.
"Take your girth from the Seventh Seal"
#overlaying the Hun's yellow pages with gemini is a rather funny way of doing things#I really can't say how many sisters I bring to see myself young#I went to that place a bunch with mom and grandpa#that would be kinda funny though#yeah....so our dad kinda fucking sucks as a person and you're better off not having him around to have access to you#the weird counter balances of people and dog names in that place#I don't know where Merlin is at#maybe it the guy that Arthur likes to visit on the quest to keep the network cooling#perhaps we could transfer the Abraham's ailments to be done with the dog of a resurrection#I love my burrito so fucking much#he is like some grounded if not irritated and(horny A LOT) version of myself#gotta say though#I never needed to masturbate#I was built for Vagina pleasing a second kind of hand#xtra large marriage = Mormons#like yes you made enough of an impact on me my goodness#me talking to you both before you go serve me (*nice*) in 1983#ladies you have practiced for this your entire smoke filled lives#this is the most important fag you will ever smoke#also: weapon: lets fuck with Alex....me: no life does that enough#a double doggy bagger#yoga on the knees back to back#takes huge rip: damn you are some bad bitches....licks one vagina and rubs the other#that tension for a bug fucking hug from you..... shit#me looking back: you wore your hair in a ponytail but made sure it looked curly#my words: are you dancing still....why? mm mm mm that body.... fuck#Also I called you over right and then you kinda look down and then oh shit this is what happens when we lock eyes
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Yandere!Maid x Vampire!Reader
A/N: If you like this setting, consider reading about your chef at the castle too. And, if you wanna know more about the levels, check this post :)
Warning: Not nsfw, but suggestive. MDNI. Butler (side character) calls reader “Mistress”
Danger level: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Submissive level: ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♡ ♡
————————————————
Yandere!Maid who looks at the castle in front of him, then the flier in his hands, then the castle again. Unless there was a typo in the address, the job interview should be here. He hesitantly uses the bat shaped door knocker and waits...This place looks so creepy and ominous, was this a prank ? Was it to scare him? Seriously? Sigh…He has had enough of being treated like a fool. As he continues his descent into frustration, bitterness and self-pity, he doesn’t hear the door opening. Nor does he see the butler standing at the entrance until he hears a: “Sorry for the wait, my kind sir. Are you here for the housekeeper position?”.
Yandere!Maid who thinks the butler is telling him a load of bullshit. According to him, the owner of this place is a vampire in search of additional staff members. He resists the urge to scoff. Whatever, if the “mistress” wants to take part in some weird role-play, then so be it as long as he would get paid. The same guy tells him to “please take a seat” in the living room and that “mistress will come and attend to you in a moment”. Soon after his departure, the air shifts. Black particles float around until it materializes something, or rather someone. The poor boy's shock and confusion quickly turn into enchantment. Fuck, you are totally his type. This is bad, he can feel his face burning. “Shall we go to my office?”, you ask with a smile.
Yandere!Maid who hates you. Who hates the fact that your personality matches your looks. Who hates how much control you have over him. The other day, your...pet sneezed on him, so he needed another uniform. “It seems that I only have a female one left ”, you told him. “There is no way in hell I am wearing that”, he sneered. “But wouldn’t you look cute in it? Besides, it is either that or cleaning with your normal clothes on until your new uniform arrives here-” “Alright, shut up, just give me that”, he abruptly took the offending dress from your hands and went to change. Since that conversation, his work attire has fully transitioned to said maid outfit. Maybe he becomes a bit too proud of himself whenever he catches you staring at him. And maybe, just maybe he wants to give you a nice view by bending down and taking his time “to clean the table” whenever he knows you are behind him. He will never admit that though.
Yandere!Maid who, one day, demands asks you about your eating habits. As soon as you answer, something regarding animal blood, he turns oddly quiet. You are about to ask what is wrong, but then he surprises you by climbing into your lap. You watch him get comfortable and, with trembling hands, undo the first buttons of his dress. The cherry on top is him pulling on its collar a bit to show a silver of his chest. He now avoids eye contact as he waits for you to take the lead…You are still just looking at him, so, with a blush becoming darker, he snaps at you: “A-are you stupid or something ? Do you want me to spell it out-” “I am just enjoying the view”, you respond with a teasing smile. Before he can sputter more insults, you grip his chin and tilt his head to the side, exposing his neck to your hungry gaze. “But if you insist…Thank you for the meal <3”
Yandere!Maid who has his face buried deep in his pillow while he tries to calm his flustered self down. After you finished drinking from him, he hurriedly got up and scurried to his room without so much as a word. The more he recalls the embarrassing noises he made in front of you, the more mortified he becomes. It was not his fault, it just felt really good and you even pulled him closer and tugged on his hair and-He whines and squirms in his bed as he feels his body turning hot again like that time. The action causes him to feel a sharp sting on his neck. He freezes. That is right. You marked him. You marked him. You marked him.
...
Don't drink from anyone else, ok?
#yandere x reader#yandere x y/n#fem reader#yandere x darling#yandere x you#yandere male#male yandere#yandere oc#soft yandere#yandere#dom reader#sub yandere#sub!character#sub character#masochist yandere#yandere oc x y/n#yandere oc x you#yandere oc x reader#oc x reader#yandere insert#yandere imagines#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere original character#oc#yandere blog#yandere boy#monster x human#yuugoingdark#yuuwriting
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need a jealous bsf!rafe x reader where he is possessive and doesn’t want other guys touching her even though he touches other girls, so she is basically over it and at a party, she dances on another guy and he gets mad
౨ৎ in which bsf!rafe just can’t help wanting to protect you.
you were done with rafe cameron. you’ve decided it. he was your best friend, sure, but he was controlling, mean, overly protective, and he acted like he owned you or something. so you were completely done with him, forever.
this is the third time you’ve promised yourself that, and news flash — you never dropped him.
it wasn’t your fault, you try to tell yourself every time. he just wouldn’t let you leave him, shutting you up whenever you’d even try and be reasonable with him, yelling louder than you or slamming his palm over your mouth. but a little part of you knows that you like the attention. you like that rafe cares so much about you, even if it does ruin your chances of getting a boyfriend. today is the day that you break the pattern though, and rebel against his constant authority.
parties are where rafe thrives. he’s like a celebrity, it always wonders you how much people love him. during parties, he keeps less of an eye on you, assuming you’re just busy gossiping with your friends. but little does he know, you’ve found a boy — it wasn’t often you’d get the opportunity to chat with a boy that wasn’t rafe, and you were loving every second of it. you felt so free from your friend’s gaze, listening to the boy talk, his deep voice vibrating your brain.
but the issue was, the boy was boring. he didn’t talk about cool things, like dirtbikes or his life or death adventures or money. you hated to say it, but he just wasn’t rafe. your mind kept flashing back to him, how much more you smile and enjoy his company. maybe rafe was right. you just didn’t need boys when you have him.
you’re so close to excusing yourself from the boy, going back to rafe’s arm and giggling with him and talking with your faces really close together. you glance back to where he is, ready to retreat, until you see it. you see her.
you’re not sure who she is, but she bothers you. her hair is so gorgeous and healthy, and you can’t see her face from behind but she must be gorgeous. her arm is on rafe’s bicep — your bicep, the one you always hang onto while you’re walking with rafe. you hate that you’re jealous. rafe’s your friend, not your boyfriend, you have no reason to be. but it’s like you can’t control it, your rage, and before you know it, you’re blinking back any potential tears and touching on this boy — this stranger — like there’s no tomorrow. tyla is blasting through the speakers, and yours and these boy’s hands are all over each other’s bodies. you really hope rafe sees you like this, drunk off the smirnoff pink lemonades and enjoying another mans company.
it really doesn’t take long for him to notice. he’s so predictable. shrugging the girls hand off of him, rushing over to his dear friend to get her away from this lowlife.
usually he’d reason with you. coax you away from the boy nicely and lecture you. but he’d had a few beers and a line of coke and he was in no mood for politeness. a rough hand pushes the boy away by the chest, and rafe isn’t muttering a word to anyone, grabbing your wrist and stomping away with you stumbling behind.
he pushes you into a spare bedroom, the first private place he could find. sitting you on the edge of the bed, he starts pacing in front of you and rubbing his face as if this was hurting his head. it’s like your brain flicks a switch, back to “rafe rafe rafe” as you’re sat there with tears brimming your eyes, fiddling with your manicure as you bat your eyelashes up at him, remembering the girl flirting with him, and now you making him mad, and now he’s got you in a puddle of guilt.
“shit— it’s like, you never do what i say, huh?” he mutters, still pacing. “you know i do everything to protect you, kid. you even know who that fuckin’ guy was? no, m’sure you don’t, cause you don’t think. thought by now my voice would be in your pretty head, there to help you make some smart decisions every once in a while. but nah, nah, you see one other boy and it’s back to square one with you,”
you go to speak, glossy lips parting, but he shuts you up with a quick “no”, and stopping pacing to go kneel in front of you.
“everything i do — for you, okay? for you. my girl,” he often calls you that, it makes you weak every time. he grabs your hands. “stop fiddling, paid for this polish.” you stop instantly. “i know— i know you think that my protectiveness is, uh, stupid, but i need to be like this, or you’re gonna get hurt. i know you, baby. i need to be all over you for you to even have a slight awareness to not do stupid things. so i do take some ownership over you in that sense—“
you cut him off, muttering a, “don’t want you to take ownership.”
he huffs. “yeah, but i do, so…” he shrugs. “you’re mine. my friend, my girl. so i don’t like it when someone else touches my girl, or when you’re the one intiating it. makes me so fuckin’ angry, kid, makes me wanna, like—“ he cuts himself off. “so i need you to knock it off.”
you wanna argue so badly, but your brain turns to mush around him. so you sniffle and nod hesitantly.
“no, i want a ‘yes rafe.’ need your words.”
“i just think that—“ you try.
he cuts you off. “yes rafe. say it with me.”
“..yes, rafe.” you both say.
he squeezes your hands and gets up. “yeah, there you go, good girl. now do you, uh, need a minute, fix your makeup, or d’you wanna go back down there and hang out with me?”
your hand goes to his bicep as you stand up with him, and a ghost of a smile appears on his lips. “wanna go with you,” you say softly, leaning into him a bit.
“yeah, that’s what i thought.”
#౨ৎ isa writes#mm can u guys tell i love his biceps!!!#sorry i wouldve made her more of a bad bitch but thats not who i am#if rafe was near me id start drooling and nodding to whatever hes saying idk#obx#outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x reader#obx x reader#rafe cameron obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe obx#rafe cameron prompt
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✎. he tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.
tags. fem!reader, mild dubcon, possessive and obsessive behavior, but he's also kinda sweet?? [18+ only]
You like your new roommate.
Simon’s surprisingly better to have around than the last person who lived with you—a girl you knew from college who had an affinity for stealing your clothes and conveniently never had money for rent. He’s the type to make you soup when you’re sick, acknowledge you if you’re in the same room, water your flowers while he rolls his cigarettes on the fire escape, and carry your groceries up the four flights of stairs to your floor.
He’s attractive, too, in the not-so-conventional sense, but in a disarming way, all small smiles and knowing looks and soft hair you know he doesn’t put much effort into—that sometimes curls around his ears when he lets it get too long—yet it still manages to look better than yours on the best days.
He never tells you what he does for work, and you’re too polite to ask. But you have a feeling he makes enough to afford a place on the less crime-infested side of town—somewhere nicer than your cramped apartment with its outdated appliances, leaky faucets, and the bright neon sign atop the building across the street that shines through your windows all times of the day—but he says he’s not ready to live alone.
Something tells you there’s more to it than him being a lonely bachelor, but again, you don’t pry.
“Does this place have wi-fi?” is all he’d said the first time you meet, in a voice so smooth and only slightly broken up by his accent, clad in a shirt that looked two sizes too small around his arms and clutching a duffle bag in one big hand.
Your brain was this shaken-up box of words and syllables that when you answered him, it came out in a nervous stutter. “Y-yeah, I’ll, er…I’ll give it to you—the password, I mean—once you've moved in. If that’s okay.”
He’d dropped his duffle bag in front of the room that would be his. “Consider me moved in.”
The smile he gave you, crinkling eyes and chuckling lightly, only made the stutter worse.
You let his charm roll off you; you always figured it came naturally to him, a characteristic that comes with being attractive and good.
A handful of months later—of finding a routine around each other and lazy smiles in the morning—something changes the night you go out with a guy Mary from work eagerly sets you up with.
His name’s Robb, he’s a doctor, and you both love cats; he has a house in Spain. Did I mention he's my cousin?
(A dull no way concealed behind your teeth.
If you hadn’t said yes, you feared your entire lunch break would consist of her waxing poetic over a man you're unsure about meeting.)
For a flicker of a moment, there’s an unreadable expression on Simon’s face as he watches you touch up your makeup in the hallway mirror and slip your hand into the crook of your date’s elbow at the door. There’s a slight glint of something uncharacteristically cold behind the mask of indifference before a small smile replaces it.
“Have a nice night,” you throw over your shoulder, except you don’t notice that he never says it back.
You mope around the apartment when Robb—who surprisingly exceeded your expectations of mediocre dates, not that you ever plan on admitting that to Mary—doesn’t reach out to you for three days. Then a week. You’re at that age to understand when people get busy, and a nice night doesn’t always mean it’s mutually reciprocated. But you liked him, and it felt promising after he’d kissed you goodnight against your front door.
It had to have been the kiss that turned him off. Maybe he realized it was too much too soon.
When Simon finds you curled up in a ball under your comforter, one thumb gently wiping away your tears, he doesn’t even bring up your date. Instead, he orders your favorite take-out and puts on a sitcom you’d mentioned to him once—somewhat surprised that he remembers—the dreamy doctor who’d ghosted you blissfully forgotten with greasy food and a warm, comforting chest to rest your head on.
Simon’s there again—sweets in hand and a soft voice to soothe you—when another date (Rin from finance on your floor) a month later is a no-show, and a few weeks after that when Rin tells you without context that he can’t see you anymore.
The third time of let downs feels worse. It’s worse because maybe there’s something wrong with you, and when you ask Simon, he’s too nice to rub salt in your wounds. He tells you they’re the problem and leaves it at that before sliding a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.
You've been Simon's roommate for a year, and he doesn't take it well when you tell him you're looking for a new place.
It’s after he comes home from a three-month work trip. The shadow that crosses over his face should’ve been your first hint that something is wrong.
Had you noticed the signs sooner, you wonder if you’d be less like prey caught by the softness of your underbelly, kept in place by the scruff, and sharp teeth at your neck.
"Beg me. Beg me not to cum in you."
"S-Simon," you whimper wetly, "don't cum in—ah—me."
His fingers hold your chin with an unyielding grip, ensuring your gaze doesn’t stray from his in the cracked mirror. You’re embarrassed by what you see, how spread open you are to his dark, inkwell eyes hungrily watching as you twitch when his other hand slides between your thighs.
"Don’t stop begging, love,” he growls, squeezing you tighter, “or I might forget."
There’s that dark look again, the one that sends a shivery feeling up your spine, possessive almost with how he traces every inch of you as if burning the image of you into his memory, the softness washed away by something more sinister.
A little voice in the back of your head tells you to flee, but another knows he'd find joy in catching you.
No one would ever think your sweet, attractive roommate would be the same man staring at you now—everything you thought you knew about him stripped away to reveal a new canvas, bare for splashes of paint to fill in the cracks—teeth marks imprinted along the curve of your jaw, on the inside of your thighs.
He hides it well. His humble personality doing the trick of being the impenetrable mask for what he’s concealing underneath: a raw obsession, an addict finally getting his hands on his favorite drug, someone who can’t recognize defeat and knows how to take.
“What do they have that I don’t? Hm? Must be a desperate little thing. My pretty slut,” Simon’s voice rumbles low against your ear, shy of unhinged. “They won’t treat you as good as I do. Don’t I treat you good?”
You whimper when his grip grows tighter, but he doesn’t seem to notice—like he’s not fully here with you. No trace of the soft, gentle man who keeps the freezer full of your favorite ice cream, who runs to the store when you run out of tampons and comes back with chocolate and a new pair of fuzzy socks. A few words have turned him into someone you don’t know. Perhaps you never did.
“Answer me.”
An indiscernible squeak is the only sound you make.
He chuckles darkly, his head dipping down to rest his lips against the fluttering pulse in your neck, a finger slipping through the alarming amount of wetness between your thighs where his cock rends you down the middle, and begins rubbing firm, tight circles over your clit, pulling a moan from your throat.
“It’s okay, love,” he mumbles, words barely audible above your heartbeat swimming in your ears. “I’ll be everything for you. Everything you need. I’ll show you why I’m better.”
#ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley smut#simon riley imagine#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#ghost x reader#ghost smut#ghost imagine#cod smut#cod x reader#cod imagine#mw2 x reader#mw2 smut#.things i write
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ The Seven x Deadpool!Reader
t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!
ᯓ★ here's a version with the boys <3
HOMELANDER
This man hates you so fking much
Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague
Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you
However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.
He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"
Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.
You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.
"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.
"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates me—"
"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"
"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.
Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.
He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.
"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.
He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.
"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"
"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"
Compatibility? 50%
STARLIGHT
Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.
When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.
"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"
"Uh..."
You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.
"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"
Insert her groaning out of annoyance.
Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(
"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"
Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.
"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.
In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.
It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.
Compatibility? 60%
QUEEN MAEVE
You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning
Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions
"Deadpool! The hostages!"
"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"
Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)
Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.
There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.
Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.
Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.
Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.
Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.
You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?
Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'
Compatibility? 80%
THE DEEP
Your human punching bag
If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.
For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.
Just imagine him staring at you like 😐
To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.
"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"
"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"
You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.
Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.
"Happy April Fools 😚!"
"That's next month dipshit!"
Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.
"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.
Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.
Compatibility? 5%
A-Train
He thinks you're fucked up in the head.
Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF
Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.
You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.
Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.
Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.
"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"
"Dude... seriously?"
You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.
"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"
"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"
You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.
But it's fine you'll just grow back.
You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.
Compatibility? 55%
TRANSLUCENT
He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.
There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.
At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.
You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.
The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.
Never again, he thought, never again.
He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.
Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.
You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.
After all, he can read people well.
You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky
There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.
It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.
"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"
"You get used to it"
Compatibility? 85%
BLACK NOIR
Lovers.
He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.
No seriously... he can't talk.
But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.
"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.
You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.
He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.
Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.
He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.
"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"
You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.
Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.
"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"
He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.
He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.
"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.
You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.
One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.
You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.
Compatibility? 90%
(This took a while cause I was on vacation)
#the boys#the boys x reader#the boys x you#the boys homelander#the boys starlight#the boys queen maeve#the boys the deep#the boys a train#the boys translucent#the boys black noir#the boys tv#homelander x reader#starlight x reader#queen maeve x reader#the deep x reader#a train x reader#translucent x reader#black noir x reader#homelander#starlight#queen maeve#the deep#a train#translucent#black noir#x reader#the boys amazon
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could you write bombshell!reader getting a tattoo of spencer’s name or something that reminds her of him and his reaction please?
“Why are you kissing me?” you mumble, your voice hoarse with sleep.
They’re light kisses. “I’m going now,” Spencer says, matching your quiet tone.
“No.”
You wrap your arm behind his neck and feel his hair against your wrist. His nose and lips warm your jaw.
“Yes.” He kisses your jaw. “I have to go, but I didn’t wanna leave without a kiss.”
That’s really sweet, he’s so sweet, you’re so tired. “Please don’t go, Spencer.”
“I have to go.” He readjusts your hugging to hum against your temple, distinctly content despite your pleading. “I’ll be back by six for dinner, promise.”
“Promise,” you say.
You get to keep him for a few minutes, regardless. His neck must sing bent as he is over you but he doesn’t relent, doesn’t move until you encourage his face back to kiss just under his bottom lip. “Sorry, I’m making you late,” you whisper.
“No, no, I accounted for this. You’re on my agenda.”
“How much time did you allot?” you ask through a smile.
“Seventeen minutes. That’s how long we usually hug in the morning.”
“Gotta get that time down,” you say.
“Or up.” He holds your face. You turn your head into his touch and keep him for just another half a minute.
“Okay,” you mumble, letting your eyes flutter closed again, “you can leave, I’m gonna go back to sleep.”
“Good idea.” He kisses you, and he says goodbye. You’re sleeping again before he’s even left your room
When you wake properly, you still feel loved, like a sunburn but with less stinging. There’s something very special about your boy; something permanent about the way he loves. You can’t imagine he’ll ever stop loving you like this, he’s embedded you so deeply into his life and his routines (and you’d beg him to keep you if he ever changed his mind). That in itself is crazy. You can’t have imagined begging a guy to let you stay, but for Spencer, you would.
When he comes home that night, half an hour before six, you have no regrets.
You hadn’t noticed how he was dressed when he left, but he looks lovely in just a simple t-shirt and jeans. Remarkably casual for him, you used to think he only wore t-shirts to bed, but the older he gets the better propensity he has for comfort. What makes it for you is the cardigan.
“You look nice,” you praise, more than satisfied when the first thing he does after he takes off his shoes is lean down to hug you where you’re sitting on his couch.
“Thank you.” He pats your back and pulls away. “You’re beautiful,” he says with ease, like he’s commenting on the weather. “Good day?”
Your lips pucker into a twist.
“What?” he asks.
Unfortunately, he sounds deeply worried.
“No, it’s nothing, I just hurt my arm. Can you have a look?”
Spencer takes your arm. “What did you do?” he asks, pulling the sleeve of your shirt carefully up to your elbow. The Saran wrap confuses him, until it doesn’t, and he grins at your skin, before frowning again. His flickering emotions worry you, until he says, “Is that mine?”
You hold your arm in the light. “Of course it’s yours?”
It’s just a few words from a note he wrote you, perhaps too soon into your relationship for sweetness, and yet one you kept anyways. He told you the story of the I Love You lighthouse, or rather, the Minot Ledge lighthouse, and how the man who lived there had to live on a different island to his family while tending the lighthouse, so he would flash the light once, then four times, and then three times, one flash for every letter of each corresponding word: I love you. The note was left on your dresser. You’d slept together the night before, but he had to leave early. Nowadays he wakes you up, but back then he’d been too shy.
I want to be able to do that for you but I can’t find a lighthouse in D.C. that will let me in to try. I’ll keep looking.
“I’ll keep looking,” Spencer reads. His thumb heistates just under your small font.
“It’s from that note you left me.”
“I know, I remember.” He does his awful frowny face where his eyelids lower and you're sure he’ll never smile again, he looks that upset. “You know this is permanent?”
“They do tend to be,” you say with a lovelorn sigh.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should kiss you, or hug you, or… I don’t know why you’d do this.”
“But it’s okay?” you ask. It could make for a very awkward conversation if he doesn't like it.
“It’s perfect.” He holds your gaze. “You’re perfect.”
He acts like your tattoo is a gaping wound as he moves in to hug you, careful of your new ink, but relentless in the tightness of his arms behind your back. You laugh, then squeal at his insistence, a giggly girly thing that nobody else should ever hear but him. He doesn’t make fun of you, just squeezes you to him, his face pressed so hard to yours you can feel his cheekbones.
“Now I just have to say something romantic for you to get tattooed and we’ll be equal again.’
“So we aren’t equal?”
“Um, no way.” Your laugh is self-satisfied and breathless. You turn your lips to his cheek. “I love you. I’m gonna build you a lighthouse.”
“Can’t believe you kept that note.”
“I have a whole shoebox of them. I love that you write them.”
He stops holding himself up, half on the couch and half in your lap as he hugs you with every bit of strength in his arms.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid oneshot#spencer reid scenario#spencer reid drabble#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction
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fuck the neighbors
pairing: jeon wonwoo x f reader
summary: curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back- at least, that's what they say.
warnings: swearing, blood, asshole!wonwoo, mingyu is canonically a whore, light blasphemy, smut (18+ ; mdni)
smut warnings: hard dom!wonwoo, allusions to voyeurism, degradation, oral (f receiving), blood play?!?!? (just a little bit!!!), wap!reader, massive cock!wonwoo, choking, protected sex
word count: 3.3k
reader notes: reader is significantly shorter than ww + described to have long-ish hair
You’ve never felt as small as you do right now. Wonwoo looms over you, smirking. He isn’t even that much taller than you, you just seem to shrink into yourself when you’re around him, which seems to be happening more and more often lately.
“Found you,” he whispers.
“I... wasn’t hiding,” you say, your voice coming out in a squeak.
“You know it isn’t nice to lie,” he chides, taking a step closer to you. You take a step backward in kind, only to be met with the cool concrete wall against your back. “It also isn’t nice to eavesdrop.”
“I didn’t- I wasn’t trying to,” you insist.
Wonwoo tsks. “I don’t believe you. What did I just say about lying?”
“Well, it isn’t nice to be super loud all the time either!” you scoff. “You have neighbors, you know.”
The overhead light flickers. You and Wonwoo both stare at it, the inconsistent hum of electricity filling the silence before the light eventually decides to stay lit. You breathe a sigh of relief. You really needed to stop overlooking sketchy apartments for the sake of the rent, especially if you were going to have to deal with people like... him.
Wonwoo cocks his head to the side. “What are you talking about?”
“What do you mean what am I talking about? Listen, I don’t care who you fuck but if you could be just a little quieter-”
Wonwoo cuts you off with a laugh. “That’s what this is about? That’s why you were snooping outside my apartment? What, were you hoping to catch a glimpse of her leaving or something?”
So you had been right... you’re not sure whether or not you’re happy about that. What you are sure of, though, is that you’re offended that you’re being accused of snooping. You open your mouth to defend yourself but stop short.
“You’re bleeding,” is what you say instead.
Wonwoo touches his lip, thumb brushing across the cut he must not have noticed until you mentioned it. He looks down at his fingers briefly then back up at you.
“Come with me.”
“Wha- huh?”
“You want to know what’s so loud, right? So come on.”
You follow him blindly back down the hall to his apartment, the one right next to yours. You’re doing everything a final girl in a horror movie shouldn’t do, but you’re dying to know what’s been keeping you up at night.
Wonwoo unlocks the door and stands aside to let you in first. With a gulp, you cross the threshold and slip off your shoes. He does the same.
The apartment is quiet, for once. It looks a lot like yours but mirrored. The kitchen is off to the right instead of the left. The half bathroom is on the wall opposite to yours, likely connected via plumbing.
The place is a lot cleaner than you expected too. It’s sparse, typical for a single guy, but still relatively well decorated.
Wonwoo heads straight to the kitchen and turns on the sink. He wets a paper towel and dabs at his bottom lip, wincing as he cleans the wound.
“Why am I here?” you ask when he doesn’t offer an explanation.
He doesn’t answer right away. Granted, the man was still bleeding but he’d dragged you here for a reason and now you were just standing in his kitchen.
Eventually, he disposes of the paper towel, washes his hands, and walks across the living room without saying a word. You know he expects you to follow him but you almost don’t want to. You do follow him, you want to leave as fast as possible, but you consider it.
He opens the door to what you know is a bedroom and points inside. You stare at him blankly.
“What am I looking at?”
“This isn’t my room,” he says.
“What?”
“It’s my roommate’s.”
“You have a roommate?”
“I do. I have a roommate. He’s the one you share a wall with. He’s the one banging a different girl every night. Your issues are with him, not me.”
Now that you were thinking about it, you have seen a slightly taller, beefier man around the building. That must be who Wonwoo’s roommate is. He definitely had the face to pull all the girls Wonwoo was referring to. Not that Wonwoo didn’t-
“So take it up with him.”
You shake your head and purse your lips. “No, that doesn’t explain everything. I’ve heard your voice too. Unless you’re the one he’s banging...” you trail off, letting the implication hang in the air.
“He’s not my type,” Wonwoo says flatly.
“Okay, then what is it?”
“C’mere,” he says, moving along the wall to what you use as a breakfast nook in your apartment.
In his, the space is empty save for a punching bag hanging from the ceiling.
“You box?”
“It’s a hobby.”
“Is that why you were bleeding?”
“Yeah, I just got back from the gym.”
“And that’s what I’ve been hearing?”
“That’s what you’ve been hearing.”
You nod but don’t say anything else, half waiting for an apology that he doesn’t offer. He just leans against the wall with his arms crossed.
“Well, do you think you could practice your hobby before midnight? Or at least try to keep it down when you do?” you huff in annoyance.
He sighs like what you’re asking is the biggest inconvenience he’s ever been posed with but concedes.
“I guess.”
“Thank you.”
“You’ll have to talk to Mingyu about his... hobby, though. Or get noise canceling headphones. That’s what I did.”
“Oh, okay.”
Silence stretches between you again, heightening the tension in the room. You don’t know what to do. Were you supposed to show yourself out now that you had your answers? Wonwoo isn’t giving you any indication that he wants you to leave but he isn't giving any indication that he wants you to stay either.
You don’t have the time or energy to deal with this. You can’t read the man’s mind. No matter how hard he stares at you from across a room. With a definitive breath, you turn on your heel to head for the door just to be stopped by Wonwoo’s voice echoing behind you.
“Are you disappointed?”
You stop but don’t turn around. “What?”
“Are you disappointed that it isn’t me you’ve been hearing?” he clarifies.
Heat rises to your cheeks. “Wh-what do you mean? Why would I be?”
You feel him approach from behind, his shadow closing in on you before he does.
“Because it isn’t my voice you’ve been touching yourself to.”
“What?!” You do turn around this time, whipping around so fast your ponytail almost whacks Wonwoo in the face.
“You don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me when I pass you in the hallway?”
You scoff, breathing a subtle sigh of relief. All he had to go off of was a look but if he had heard you through the wall, if he had that irrefutable evidence, it would definitely be over for you. “If that’s what you think lust looks like, I feel bad for all the girls you have slept with.”
“Resentment and lust have a very long history together,” he whispers.
“You think pretty highly of yourself, don’t you?”
“But I’m right, aren’t I?”
You feign ignorance. “About what?”
“About you.” He measures you up with his gaze, something triumphant flashing behind his eyes. “Tell me I’m wrong,” he presses. “Tell me you’ve never gotten off to the thought of me and I’ll drop it.”
You weigh your options. You could lie. You could save yourself the embarrassment and lie right to his face, although given your track record thus far he’d see right through it. Or, you could tell him the truth. You could admit to wishing you were the one in what you thought had been his bed all this time.
You settle on silence and let him draw his own conclusion. A smirk tugs at one side of Wonwoo’s mouth. So he did think highly of himself.
“I fucking knew it,” he murmurs.
Before you can deny it, he straightens back up and starts walking toward the back of the apartment.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he announces.
You don’t move from where you’re standing, unsure of what he wants you to do. Was he hinting at you to leave? Was it an invitation?
Wonwoo looks back over his shoulder at you. “Are you coming?”
“Hopefully,” you mutter.
“Hm?”
“Yeah, I’m coming.”
-
The water is already running by the time you slip into the bathroom after Wonwoo. You watch quietly as he undresses, letting the door click shut gently behind you. It occurs to you that you should be taking your clothes off too but you can’t look away.
Wonwoo’s kind enough to snap you out of it. “I didn’t ask you in here just to watch me.”
“You didn’t ask me in here at all,” you point out, “you just expected me to follow you.”
“And you did.”
Damn, he had you there.
With a noise of indignation, you pop the button on your jeans and start to wiggle out of them, unable to bring yourself to look at him again now that you’re also exposed. You can feel his eyes on you, though. It has the same effect his presence always has on you, and you attempt to cover yourself with your hands.
“Shy?” he muses. “Cute.”
“Shut up,” you sputter.
You don’t think you’ve felt this self conscious since college and then he laughs at your response which does nothing to help.
“I can’t call you cute?”
“Not if you’re patronizing me.”
“How do you want me to say it, then?” he asks, sinking down to his knees on the floor in front of you. You stare at him in disbelief. “You want me to say it like this? Want me to tell you how cute, how pretty, I think you are, from down here? How pretty I think this pussy is?” Wonwoo leans forward as he talks, further and further until his hair is tickling your tummy and his lips are moving against your skin. “Spread your legs for me, baby,” he murmurs.
You do, taking hold of the countertop so that you won’t fall as Wonwoo slots himself between your thighs. You take a deep breath to brace yourself for the feeling of his mouth but absolutely nothing could have prepared you for the way he presses a gentle kiss to your pussy before diving in. The softness of the action compared to everything that led up to this moment, compared to the way he was now drowning himself in you, is enough to make your knees threaten to give. Your grip on the counter tightens and you bite down hard on your bottom lip to keep from moaning out loud. You don’t want to give him the satisfaction, though you’re sure he already knows he’s got you right where he wants you.
Wonwoo hitches one of your knees over his shoulder so that he can get even deeper inside of you with his tongue. He drinks you in, breathes you in, douses himself in you like he’s trying to baptize himself in order to atone for his sins.
If this was his apology for all the noise, he’s forgiven ten times over.
You can feel callouses on the palms of his hands as he traces them up your legs and over your ass, pulling you even further into him. The force of his grip causes you to stumble but he catches you before you can fall and helps you to regain your balance.
“I’ve got you,” he assures you, backing you up into the sink. “Here, hop up on the counter.”
“What about the shower?” you ask, suddenly remembering that the water had been running this whole time.
“Oh shit-”
Wonwoo turns around and reaches to turn it off, drying both his hand and his face with a towel that had been hanging on the wall.
“Now, hop up on the counter.”
“Are you sure?” you ask, glancing at all of the skin and hair care products scattered across it.
Wonwoo pushes them out of the way then nods.
“I’m sure. Mingyu won’t care, trust me. He’d be a hypocrite to.”
You sigh but hoist yourself onto the counter anyway, too horny to worry about it any longer. Wonwoo steps in between your legs and lets you wrap them around his waist. He leans down, you think he’s going to kiss you, but he goes for your neck and kisses you there instead.
“Why are you pouting?” he asks, voice muffled and vibrating against your throat.
“Want you to fuck me,” you lie.
It’s not a complete lie, you do want him to fuck you, but it certainly isn’t the full truth either. You’re afraid that if you’re honest with Wonwoo about wanting him to kiss you it’ll turn him off. He’s not about to make love to you, that much is clear, so was kissing off the table? Was that too intimate for a hookup like this? Would he think you wanted something more if you asked?
“I was getting to that,” he insists lowly. “So impatient.”
“You’re the one who ate me out as soon as you got me alone. You haven’t even kissed me yet.”
There. Maybe if you challenged him he’d give you what you wanted.
“Oh, you want me to kiss you, huh?”
He wraps a hand around your neck and pulls you in, finally pressing his lips to yours. Men were so easy.
He tastes like you imbued with unfamiliarity. Blood, you realize when you pull back and see the cut on his lip had reopened. It isn’t much, just enough to make him look vaguely vampiric. You swipe your thumb across his bottom lip and push it into his mouth for him to suck on.
He does, but he has the audacity to pretend not to like it.
“You’re sick,” Wonwoo scoffs.
“And you’re still hard.”
“Two things can be true at the same time.”
He kisses you again before you can get another word in, dropping his free hand between your legs to ensure you're truly unable to talk back.
He uses his fingers to tease you for a moment or two and then he teases you with the head of his cock, pressing it right up against you and making you whimper into his mouth.
“Tell me, what have you been thinking about all these months,” he murmurs, “when you’re in your bed all alone listening through the wall?”
“I- it’s embarrassing...” you protest.
Wonwoo draws back, tonguing his cheek as he gazes down at you. “Tell me or we’re done here.”
You’re not sure whether or not he’ll make good on his threat but you don’t want to call his bluff and risk blowing your chance to actually live out the fantasies you were too embarrassed to share.
“I thought about... this,” you say hesitantly.
“This? You thought about me fucking you here?”
“No...”
“You’re going to have to be more specific then, angel.”
“It was, um, in your bed.”
“You mean Mingyu’s bed.”
“I didn’t know that at the time,” you whine.
He smiles. “I know. You know, if you had just paid a little closer attention you would have realized he sounds nothing like me.”
“I was a little distracted at the time,” you whisper.
“Yeah? Distracted pretending it was you in those girls’ positions?”
You nod reluctantly.
“Poor baby,” he pouts, “must’ve been so jealous but so wet you just had to touch yourself, huh?”
You hate that he’s right. You hate that the condescension turns you on even more.
While he’s talking, Wonwoo snakes an arm behind you and grabs a condom from a jar on the counter. Did he and Mingyu just keep them out for guests like they were cotton swabs or something? Did they get laid that often?
He tears the foil packet open with his teeth and rolls the condom on as you watch and unconsciously spread your legs even wider for him.
“Ready?” he asks, holding your face with both hands.
It’s probably the first earnest interaction you’ve had with him. His eyes search yours for any sign of hesitation and even when he finds none, he waits for you to answer.
“Go ahead.”
You keep your eyes trained on his face as he guides himself inside of you, watching the way his eyelashes flutter and his breath hitches when he feels the heat of you around him. He pushes himself in slowly but the stretch still knocks the wind out of you, leaving you gasping for air.
“Breathe, baby, breathe. You’re okay.”
You can hardly hear him over the roaring in your ears but you do your best to listen, chest heaving as you desperately try to anchor yourself to him.
Wonwoo doesn’t move until you urge him to by wrapping your legs around his waist and squeezing his hips with your thighs. It isn’t easy at first, despite how wet you are for him. He’s that huge.
You almost wish he wasn’t just because you don’t think it’s fair for any man’s ego to be warranted, especially one as big as his. Though you suppose it’s fitting.
After a few rough strokes, he starts to play with your clit again to get you to relax a little. It works, your eyes roll and your head falls back against the mirror as the tension eases from your muscles.
“Does it feel as good as you thought it would?” he presses.
“B-better,” you admit.
“That’s because it wasn’t me you were hearing.”
You groan, annoyed that he still hasn’t let it go. You doubt he ever will.
“It’s okay. I’ve thought about this too,” he confesses.
“You have?”
“Have you seen yourself?” he scoffs, “Don’t sound so surprised. I’d s-see you in the hallways, see the way you’d glare at me- fuck... who knew all this time you were right next door fantasizing about me while I fantasized about you. We could’ve been doing this so much sooner.”
You want to tell him that you have all the time in the world to make up for it now but you can’t find the words. They’ve dissolved on your tongue and left you with only his name to repeat over and over like you’re in a trance.
“Louder,” he pleads as fucks you even faster.
“But our neighbors-”
“Fuck them,” he spits. “They already hate us because of Mingyu, let them know my name too.”
Apparently you aren’t the only jealous one between the two of you. You want to laugh but you physically can’t, too caught up in the incandescent feeling in your stomach that threatens to engulf you entirely.
“Fuck, are you about to cum?” Wonwoo gasps, lips parting in concentration.
You nod. “Just a little more,” you beg, “yeah, exactly like that... oh fuck-”
“I’ve got you,” he assures you. “Let go, I’m right there with you.”
It’s surprisingly sweet of him and you think he might realize it too because he grabs your jaw and pulls you in to kiss you as you fall apart together so that he can’t say anything else.
Once you come down, he’s the first to start putting you both back together.
“Wanna actually take a shower now?” he asks, holding out a hand to help you down from the counter.
Your knees wobble on your landing but Wonwoo’s quick to wrap an arm around your shoulders wounded-soldier style and sit you on the closed lid of the toilet.
“Take your time,” he tells you, kneeling on the tile in front of you.
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to stay the night? I mean you can hardly walk. There’s no way you’ll make it all the way home.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “All the way next door?”
“Exactly! It’s better not to risk it, right?”
You chuckle. “I guess.”
Wonwoo grins. “Don’t worry, I’ll take you home myself in the morning. I’m a gentleman, after all. And then we can piss off your neighbors.”
lmk what you think i always appreciate feedback!!
#fuck the neighbors#seventeen smut#svt smut#wonwoo smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen x female reader#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo x female reader#jeon wonwoo smut#svt x reader#jeon wonwoo x reader#flashing tw
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Espresso | Max Verstappen x Singer! Reader
Summary: Despite going back to his relationship with Kelly, Max can’t stop thinking about you. Every night. It certainly doesn’t help that you keep cropping up in the McLaren garage.
Warnings: softcore angst? Swearing. A pining man
Requested: yes by many of you on the previous part
Facelaim: Sabrina Carpenter (she was used on the last one and yes, she's used a lot but I stole her song and her job so I'm also stealing her face)
F1 Masterlist
prev. || next.
this will end up having 4 parts total. they're planned but not fully written
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yn_ln just posted
liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri and others
yn_ln what do you do when you get woken up at 2am and can’t get back to sleep? write a song espresso is out now
16,331 comments
user1 is this what the kids call a soft launch? is she seeing someone?
user2 okay but who is the guy reflected in her sunglasses? a new beau perhaps?
alexandrasaintmleux i don’t know what’s hotter. the song or the body
→ francisca.cgomes the men in the video
→ pierregasly i can see this
user3 at least we know this new guy is dicking her down good
user4 why do i feel like this is about max?
→ user5 why tf would it be about max? it’s a fun song about fucking all night
→ user4 because it feels teasing. like, he’s with someone else but can’t stop thinking about yn
→ user6 i’m with user4. maybe she’s trying to throw us off?
landonorris the sun looks bright in that pic
→ user7 uh oh. norizz is alive and well everyone
user8 does this mean max keeps contacting her?
user9 max is 100% messaging her at 1am saying how he misses her
user10 i need a camera in max and kelly’s house when they first heard this
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yn_ln just posted
liked by redbullracing, kellypiquet and others
yn_ln i know i mountain dew it for ya (although, most of these had vodka) tagged: alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes
17,094 comments
user11 she looks like a hot librarian
→ user12 i‘d let her help me with my homework
user13 red bull admin is a canon yn stan
francisca.cgomes hot girls do bottomless brunch
→ alexandrasaintmleux maybe they shouldn’t. i still can’t find my left shoe
→ yn_ln i have it
user14 i bet the debrief was piping hot
→ user15 oh to be in a gossip sesh with yn, kika and alex
charles_leclerc stay away from my girlfriend. she came home drunk ranting about how much she loved you and the colour of your hair
→ pierregasly and mine wouldn’t stop talking about how pretty your eyes are and how good you smell
→ yn_ln i have unbelievable rizz
user16 i’d let yn step on me
→ yn_ln and i won’t even charge you
user17 max fumbled so bad
landonorris who’s that cute blonde?
→ yn_ln oscar isn’t in this post??
→ user18 i don’t think he was talking about oscar, hun
→ yn_ln why would he publicly embarrass his boyfriend like this?
→ oscarpiastri i hate you
f1wags just posted
liked by verstappencom, shortnsweet and others
f1wags not even 6 weeks after reconciling, max verstappen and kelly piquet were caught arguing
3,330 comments
user1 can they just stay broken up this time??
→ user2 i love max but i’m fed up now
user3 yet you’ve not got any pics of it? why all the old lovey dovey pics of them
→ user4 the pics are all over twitter. i think f1wags chose not to post them because max looks like he’s trying not to cry in them, and f1wags has always been nice towards the drivers
user5 why is no one talking about the fact that both verstappencom and shortnsweet liked this???
→ user6 the fact that their teams are so desperate for them to be together that they’re publicly rooting for kelly’s demise
user7 i’ve seen the clip on twitter and i wanna know why she’s yelling at him so aggressively
→ user8 i bet it’s cause he’s been all up in yn’s likes
→ user9 yeah but so is she
→ user10 you’d think their relationship would be strengthened by their shared obsession with yn
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mclaren just posted
liked by lilymhe, flavy.barla and others
mclaren papaya party it wouldn’t be a maiden win celebration without some celebs. guess who got to hear espresso live
7,814 comments
yn_ln why is lando’s hand like that? he’s not a ken doll
→ landonorris i’m the barbie. you’re the ken
→ yn_ln you wish you were the barbie. you don’t have barbie energy
→ oscarpiastri i’m confused
→ yn_ln you’re an alan
→ landonorris you take that back!
→ user11 does this mean lando and yn saw barbie together?
→ oscarpiastri yes and they left me back at the mtc
user12 not all the wags liking a mclaren post
→ user13 it’s the power of yn
user14 lando and yn’s interactions give me life
user15 i love how mclaren’s engagement has increased since yn started commenting on everything
→ user16 they’ve become more enjoyable since she became a fan
user17 okay but she looks so good in orange
→ redbullracing except she was meant to be in navy
user18 her and lando make such a cute couple
→ landonorris ew no
→ yn_ln ew no. besides, you guys told me she was with oscar. i can’t break that up
→ oscarpiastri @/mclaren can we ban her from the garage?
→ lilyzneimer no!
→ mclaren no!
→ landonorris @/yn_ln i know i said no but why did you say no?
user19 guys, max liked and unliked this
user20 mv1 fans, i think we’ve lost her
landonorris posted a new story
yn_ln replied still serving cunt though
maxverstappen1 replied is that yn?
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requests open
coming next; oscar piastri. rivals to teammates to more
tell my why i lowkey feel bad posting this after the pregnancy announcement. i mean, i still don’t like kelly but i wish them every happiness for a safe and healthy delivery.
there will be NO lando x yn in the next two parts
tag list
@peachiicherries @rosecentury @c-losur3 @heavy-vettel @evie-119 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lilorose25 @sillyfreakfanparty @justaf1girl @omgsuperstarg @seonghwaexile @alejandrablacklupin @nina-or-anna-or-nora @shelbyteller @raynetargaryan2 @astroniii @jxnellat @seasonswinter @casey1-2007 @chemiru @strengthandstay @ivanag1rl @chaoswithus @ivegotparticulartaste @kiyoke3xe @pookynknowntranger
#formula 1#f1#formula one#formula 1 smau#f1 smau#formula 1 social media au#f1 social media au#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 headcanon#formula 1 one shot#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 headcanon#f1 drabble#f1 one shot#f1 fluff#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula one drabble#formula one fluff#formula one x reader#max verstappen#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen one shot#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x reader
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Cheat on me please
How to safely rid yourself of a yandere
There's no easy way to get rid of him. He's too obsessive. Too controlling. Too bloody single minded.
You tried talking through it and he just scoffed and said you were being silly. That you were just too hormonal and would calm down in a few days.
You tried going no contact and he showed up at your door. Hammered at it until the neighbours called the cops and they dragged him away.
You tried being nice about it and all he did was grab your wrist so hard it bruised. His eyes like chips of stone when he said he didn't want to hear it.
You weren't breaking up with him. You had no reason to.
And the worst part? He was right. You don't have a reason.
On paper, he's the perfect man. Attentive. Generous. Handsome. He buys you gifts, he lavishes you with attention, he's funny and charming around your friends.
And he scares you.
Not because of anything he's done. (Perfect guy, remember?) But some instinct deep inside you tells you to be careful around him.
This one's a predator, he's got claws and fangs, he'll fill you with venom and never let go, some ancient part of you insists.
But try explaining that to him. He's so mindlessly logical. He's not going to leave you because of a silly gut feeling. Come on baby, what sort of shitty boyfriend would do that?
And that's why you're down to half thought out, borderline silly plans to get rid of him. Get your hot friend to sleep with him. Catch them in the act. Throw a tantrum and finally get to break up with him.
You can't try and excuse cheating. It's abhorrent. And his logical side will surely see that, right?
One little hitch though. He's actually loyal to a fault.
Part of you finds it hard to believe. Is he really turning down your absolute bombshell of a friend? The girl all your exes were just a bit in love with?
Maybe he's just being cautious. Maybe he isn't lonely and needy enough to risk it.
So you up the stakes. Decide to avoid fucking him as much as possible. And oh boy, does it drive him crazy. He gets irritable and needy and somehow even more horny the longer your dry spell lasts.
And you know that you almost have him. He's just a man, no matter how logical he pretends to be.
You pick a fight over nothing. Blow it all out of proportion and storm out to stay with your parents for a while.
Piss him off just enough that a revenge fuck seems like a great idea.
He ends up drinking at a shitty dive bar and oh what a coincidence, your gorgeous seductress friend just happens to turn up. The last text she sends you makes it seem like she's finally hooked him and you hurry over to her apartment, feeling just a little giddy. Your plan actually worked! You feel like a goddamn genius.
And sure enough, his car is parked at her front door.
For a second, you feel a little hurt. Yes, this is the outcome you wanted. Yes, you deliberately manipulated him to get to this point. But it still feels like betrayal.
When you make it to her door, it's oddly silent for a supposed drunken hookup. But you're too geared up to notice it.
She left her door unlocked like you agreed and you tiptoe inside, your heart going a mile a minute. Her bedroom door is cracked just a little and a shaft of light cuts through the dark of the hallway.
You swing the door open with a crash, getting to ready to cuss him out.
And you freeze.
There's no guilty couple leaping away from each other, no smell of sweat and cum, no illicit rendezvous.
Instead your friend is tied to a chair, her mouth taped shut with silvery duct tape and her mascara running in black streaks down her cheeks. Her eyes lock onto yours and she tries to scream something through the tape.
The door clicks shut behind you.
You turn slowly. Like putting it off will make the situation less horrible, less like a dissociative dream.
Your boyfriend looks ragged. His eyes are blood shot and his hair is an unruly mess.
But the worst part is the way he smiles at you. Paternal, almost. Like he's caught you doing something naughty but he's willing to overlook it.
"Come on baby, you didn't think I'd actually cheat on you, did ya?"
His voice is condescending, but under the surface you can hear a cold, terrifying anger.
You swallow. Those same instincts that warned you about him are screaming now.
"What the hell is going on?" You demand, trying to sound angry instead of just afraid.
He steps toward you and it takes everything in you to not step away. He picks up a piece of your hair and rubs it between his fingers. Proprietary, possessive.
"What's going on? You should know babe. You're the one who tried to set me up... As though that skank over there ever stood a chance."
He tsks. "I knew something was wrong the second you stopped sleeping with me."
He leans forward and whispers in your ear, his breath ghosting across your neck.
"I fuck you too good for you to give it up so easy."
You jerk away from him, your eyes burning like you're about to cry. How did this go so wrong?
"Are you insane? Untie her right now! What the fuck is wrong with you?!"
He backhands you right across the face.
He's never hit you before and the shock is almost worse than the pain. You stumble, clutching your cheek. Your face feels numb at first and then a sharp, fiery pain blooms across your cheek.
He grabs your collar and shoves you toward the bed.
"Oh baby, you're lucky I love you." His bared teeth catch the light and he looks more wolf than man.
The edge of the mattress digs into your thighs and you fall backward. You're still reeling and he has you pinned under him before you can find the strength to scramble away.
"Thought about killing her, y'know. What kind of whore goes after her best friend's man? You deserve better than that."
His grip is unyielding. A part of you always knew he was strong, but until now you didn't realise how big the gap between you actually was. His knee is between your legs and he brings it up to press against your crotch.
"But then a light bulb must have went off. And I decided to see how things played out."
He laughs and there's nothing warm or welcoming in it at all.
"All I had to do was squeeze her throat a little and..." He grabs your throat and thightens his grip until you see stars. "And she was just fallin' all over herself to tell me about your little plan."
He let's go and pats your cheek with rough little smacks. "It was cute, baby. Really was. But fucking stupid."
He leans down and kisses you. His lips are rough and he bites your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. The metallic tang of it makes you gag.
Your instincts were right. He's dangerous and you never should have tempted this monstrous part of him.
He tastes like cheap whiskey and you struggle to pull away. Your chest heaves and no matter how you buck and twist under him, he still keeps you pinned.
When he pulls away, something in your expression must please him because he hums and tilts your chin up. "But it's okay baby. We'll work through this."
He reaches down and tugs at your belt. "And I know exactly where to start."
#Isn't he fun?#Nothing says husband material more than holding your partner's friends hostage#yandere x reader#yandere imagines#yandere#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#reader insert#x reader#yandere oc#Cheating Yandere#Cheater Yandere#Gender Neutral Reader
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BED CHEM— geto suguru minors dni. art by to00fu !
welcome to the christmas tour ! take a seat in section (b) and let the show begin !
prologue. → ditching your friend's christmas condo party for your scrumptious, needy boyfriend? yes please!
want to try sitting somewhere else ? take a look at the ticket chart again !
pairing. geto suguru x afab!reader
warnings+. awful usage of brainrot slang to weird geto out (mission successful), making out, messy sèx, crèampiè, nothing crazy !
word count. 5k! song inspiration. bed chem — sabrina carpenter
a/n. happy 1 month birthday to this blog!!!!!! 😭 kind of fitting that i celebrate with a geto fic <3
mp3. where art thou? why not uponeth me? see it in my mind, let's fulfill the prophecy !
"hey," you say, holding up the dress and crinkling the red satin in your fingers, "what'd you think of this one?"
it's a gorgeous number, a sheer, corset bodice with a daring thigh-high slit, all set to softly drape off your shoulders. the kind of dress that screams 'sexy without trying too hard' and 'television heroine vampire heiress'. your goal in life.
geto doesn't even glance up from his latest obsession, crouched by the kitchen counter. he's eye level with a pavlova, drizzling raspberry glaze over it like he's performing surgery. without missing a beat, "it's cool. for someone desparate in witness protection," he deadpans.
you scoff, clutching the gown like the aforementioned television heroine, "you just say weird shit sometimes. what does that even mean? and a day one hater, didn't even look up..."
"and yet," geto mutters, still hyper-focused on his dessert, "i know i'm right."
you throw the dress onto the couch dramatically, "suguru, you bought this dress for me."
that gets your boyfriend's attention and he looks up, catching the gleam of familiar red satin, and visibly gulps, "oh. my bad. it's, uh, hot you'd look hot, i mean."
"nice save, baby," you arch a brow.
he tosses his inky black hair back, some of it falling right back into his face, "what's it for?"
you sigh, propping your legs up on the worn couch, "that big party, remember? my friend who got married and had a kid last year, y'know her right?"
geto hums, popping a fresh blueberry into his mouth, without taking his eyes off the pavlova, "mmph," he says through a mouthful, "the one who married the guy who cheated on her like thrice?"
you grin, delighted he remembers the gossip you've spoon fed to him over time, "yeah, well, apparently he tried making it up to her by buying her an entire condo."
geto wrinkles his nose in disgust, "tacky. ya' just can't buy class."
"totally," you sigh, "but it's so nice in there. and when she hosts parties there, i can't really complain. it's like, so gorgeous."
then, you glance back at your focused boyfriend, watching as he artfully arranges more berries atop the meringue, "mhm, speaking of gorgeous, are you gonna stand there making love to the pavlova all night, or are you gonna help me accessorise this thing?"
geto glances at you, his violet eyes narrowing playfully, "why so needy? jealous of whipped egg whites and sugar?"
you flop your arms to your sides with a dramatic sigh, "what if i am?"
geto exhales as though you are his most tiresome, and favourite thing in the entire world. grabbing a silver spoon from the cutlery rack, and dipping it into the sticky-sweet raspberry glaze. he's striding towards you, and there's that signature air of both exasperation and amusement, "open."
you comply, simply because dessert trumps dignity, and not before biting down on the spoon with unnecessary force just to mess with him. the glaze simply melts on your tongue, and you smack your lips, "mmm. wait, this shit's really good. what's it for?"
geto laughs, stepping closer to swipe his warm thumb across your bottom lip to catch a stray bit of glaze, "for us, jus' us. thought we'd have something sweet for christmas."
you clutch your chest like a damsel, "i thought i was your sweet thing for christmas."
your dear boyfriend rolls his eyes, swatting your arm lightly with the sticky spoon, leaving a smear of glaze, "tch, what am i gonna do with you?"
you gasp in mock outrage at the sensation, but geto's expression shifts, softening as he swings a knee up onto the arm of the couch, "wan' me to come with ya?"
you blink, thrown off from his hauntingly beautiful features that you'll never get tired of, "come with me where?"
"that party, love."
your jaw practically hits the floor, "wait, really? you actually want to? thought you hated these things?"
geto's lips quirk upwards, shrugging a shoulder, "the things i do for my pretty girlfriend."
cue the squeal. exaggerated just enough to irritate him, just a bit. you clutch his arm, bouncing slightly, "aw! you really do love me!"
geto's exasperated look cracks, softening into something far more quiet and fond. he places a hand on your head, ruffling through your hair just enough to make you scowl at the mess, "don't push your luck," he warns. but his tone betrays his amusement, "i just feel bad i haven't gone to any of the others with you."
"i'm glad you said that, though, suguru," you start, already scheming as you lean forward and rest your head on his knee like its the most natural pillow in the world. he lets out a soft puff of breath, almost instinctively leaning down to press a kiss to your temple.
"remember those high-waisted pants i said would look really good on you?"
geto frowns, "the ones you said made me look like a...and i quote, a slutty mushroom?"
"bingo. you should wear them. the world deserves to see your delicious gyatt —"
your baiting words are accentuated by a pinch to the back of his dark sweatpants but cut off by his sharp exhale, and the way his fingers, which had been lazily tracing the curve of your ear, freeze mid-motion.
"my what, love?" geto asks, his tone a mix of suspicious and the kind of dread reserved for people who know they're about to regret asking a question.
"gyatt," you repeat, completely unrepentant, no shame nor misery, "it means —"
"i know what it means," geto cuts in, deadpan with a faint and tell-tale blush creeping onto his tan skin, "i'm cutting off our wifi. all our electricity actually."
you laugh, patting his muscular thigh lightly before squeezing it again for good measure, "oh, so you do know what it means. that's embarrassing for you, babe."
"and yet, somehow, i still have the moral high ground," geto grouches, pinching the bridge of his nose, "and you say that i say weird shit. now you're bringing gojo's tiktok fuckery into my own home."
"first of all, it's our home," grabbing the red dress and standing, almost knocking him off the couch's arm, "second of all, my big and tall and beautiful boyfriend is such a cutie patootie when he's embarrassed."
geto groans, tilting his head back, "stop. you're emasculating me."
you pause in the doorway, "you cry everytime we watch strawberry shortcake. you do that shit to yourself."
"that was one time!" geto protests, but you can hear the smile colouring his voice.
"two times."
"the mermaid episode was emotionally poignant. power of friendship and moral honesty despite the promise of treasure," he calls after you, "you wouldn't get the timeless themes!"
well, mission accomplished. the dress fits you like a second skin, hugging all the right places. and you're not even ashamed of how long you spend admiring yourself in the mirror. the way the corset lifts your chest, well, it's definitely giving hot and sexy vampire now.
you delicately pat a glitter bomb compact over your skin, letting the soft shimmer catch the light on your collarbones and shoulders. it's a fine balance, you think, but you know there's a fine line between 'faintly glittered-up' and looking like 'fenty beauty just projectile-vomited rosé rave' all over you.
"suguru!" you call out, expecting a snarky reply but hearing nothing. typical. "suguru!" you yell again, just because you can. you wander out of the bedroom, only to find him already in position: stretched across the couch, legs draped lazily over the armrest.
and fuck, he looks good. wearing those wide-legged pants you suggested, and obviously, you were right about them. a crisp white top with the sleeves rolled up just enough to show off his forearms. geto's hair is pulled back into that high, slightly messy knot he's so fond of, but a rogue and choppy strand has escaped, brushing against his cheek.
the whole look screams 'effortlessly hot' and you can imagine how smug he'd be if he knew what you were thinking.
"oh. hey, love," he greets casually, scrolling through his phone and still draped over the couch like a catalog model who knows all his angles. but then geto looks up, and the phone nearly slips out of his hand.
"uhhh, hey," he says, his eyes widening as he takes you in, and his rosewood lips part, as he says it again, clearly dumbfounded, "hey."
you laugh, crouching down next to him, amused by the way he's visibly short-circuiting, "not bad yourself," you tease, "what were you looking at?"
before he can stop you, you lean in to peak at geto's phone, pressing yourself against his side. glitter from your collarbones transfers onto his skin, but you're too busy laughing at his dimly lit screen to notice.
"suguru!" you gasp, your shoulders beginning to tremor, "fuckass yahoo answers, of all places. wait — i can't believe people still use that. stop moving your phone, let me read!"
is it good or bad if my girlfriend says i have a gyatt?
geto's ears turn deliciously red, and he locks his phone with an exaggerated click, "okay. nosy mcgee," and he's grumbling, "makin' me sound like a loser."
you pat his cheek lightly, grinning like a cheshire cat, "it means i think you're scrumptious," you say with mock seriousness, "like top-tier snackish. like, as in, i like your ass."
geto huffs, his lips twitching despite himself. and then, leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the tip of your nose. you wrinkle it instinctively, thinking of all the concealer and powder you had layered earlier.
"well," he says, as he brushes a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear, "i think you're pretty too."
you sigh dramatically, "just pretty? why did i end up with a nonchalant man?"
geto gasps, his mauve eyes widening in mock offence as he juts his lip forward, "hah, 'scuse me. i'm not nonchalant. i'm like the total opposite of nonchalant. i'm like...chalant."
you snort, catching his stray fingers as they linger close enough to your lips for you to playfully nip at them, "yes. you are. my very chalant boyfriend. what a hero."
geto rolls over to his side, so he's facing you. absolutely wrinkling his white shirt, "thank you for recognising my efforts."
but then his tone shifts, his gaze running over you, "but seriously, you look hot. like crazy hot. like wow, my girlfriend is insanely hot," and he leans in slightly, "and i jus' can't stop looking at your two, beautiful, perfect..."
it hits you that his gaze has dropped to the swell of your chest.
"suguru! my eyes are up here, you dog."
"shit, been caught." and he's still laughing at your grumbles, grabbing your wrist and gently pulling you up in one swift motion, dragging you alongside him towards the bedroom.
"hey!" you protest half-heartedly, trying to dig your heels into the carpet, "the front door's the other way, genius. we're gon' be late."
geto doesn't stop his stride, glancing back at you with a pleading look that's also smug at the same time, "yeah, but you're the one who looks like that. don't think i can function. i need a minute."
"geto suguru, everybody. one-minute wonder. all he needs to finish."
you hear your boyfriend's scoff, as a teasing laugh escapes him, "hah, can't help being like this, can ya? got a gold medal when it comes to pissing me off."
you smile sweetly, "it's because i love you."
geto rolls his rich-plum eyes, his hand guiding you towards the bed as he shakes his head, "you know i love you too, right?"
"duh."
"good," geto says, and with that, he's leaning in. pressing a hot kiss to your jaw, then moving to your waiting mouth. it's messy, sloppy, the kind that makes your pussy clench a bit. sue you, eh? it's just the effect that geto suguru has on you.
you let out a soft whine as his tongue smears across your satin-finished, ruby lips, perfectly lined not ten minutes ago. but then geto's pulling away, circling his finger lazily in the air. a wordless demand that leaves your thighs clenching in anticipation.
you playfully huff, but spin yourself away from him. planting yourself on all fours, hearing geto grunt as he seems to appreciate the view. tsk, your predictable, eager boyfriend.
his large hand is running slowly down your spine, like he's savouring the way the satin clings to you. it's sending shivers down your body, and you're certain that if geto were to push your dress up and cup your core with a large hand, he'd pull it away wet and dripping.
"ah, pretty. so pretty, aren'tcha?" and his fingers are tugging taut at the ruched dress, like he can't quite believe you're real and his. despite three smooth years of professing your love to one another.
"suguru," you protest, "y'know 's not a cheap dress, babe."
you can hear the amusement tinging his smooth voice, "i know. i bought it, remember? don't want you worryin' your pretty lil' head over it."
you let out a soft sigh as you feel him entirely lean his weight over you, enveloping you in that heady scent of leather and cardamom. scooting your ass back, so tight satin would faintly drag across his very pronounced erection.
"f-fuck," and geto's laugh is sharp, disbelieving. half a huff, and half a chuckle, but entirely in awe. broad, warm hands are gliding over you before the gentle press of his palms come to rest on your hips. he's sliding your dress up, letting satin rustle with a soft, whispering sound. leaving your skin exposed to the sudden and sharp kiss of the christmas air.
"wow," geto whistles quietly, appreciatively. he seemed to be enjoying the sheer red thigh-high tights that clung to the plush of your thighs like a second scarlet skin, and you gasp as he hooks a long finger underneath the lace border, snapping it once briefly in a mild sting.
his hands are so close to where you need them most, and it's so utterly infuriating. he's practically dancing his finger tips over your inner thighs, ghosting so close to your underwear. panties that were surely languid, weighty by now. you could feel the damp cotton growing far more slippery and tacky as geto suddenly ran a finger over your clothed cunt.
and you can hear the elation in his voice as he lifts a finger up to his mouth, swirling his tongue around your syrupy taste, "hah, you're practically a super-soaker. that's pretty cool."
you scowl, fighting the urge to swivel around and pounce him in retribution, "y-yeah, thanks," but the bite in your words is tempered by the lazy heat that coils in your stomach, "but you're taking too l-long, baby. can't you jus' -"
and you're deciding to take matters into your own hands, as geto seems fascinated by how thin, clear strands create small bridges between his fingers. you reach for the waistband of his high-waisted pants, running your own hand down his absurdly slender waist, right over a godly chiselled torso.
"y'got impatient, didn't you, love?" and now geto's scowling, hauling your wrist back to pin it behind your back like you foretold. but not before planting a soft press of lips to your inner arm, gentle and tender.
but you flex your fingers behind your back, stretching them out, groping at the air. your boyfriend must have noticed, almost immediately because of course he does, and you can hear a soft, knowing coo from behind you.
"ah, 's what you want, right?" he teases, sliding his cool, slender fingers over yours, intertwining them effortlessly, "just wanted me holdin' your hand, how cute."
"maybe i was j-just stretching," you huff, but squeezing his hand tighter.
geto hums, unconvinced, as his thumb brushes lazily over the back of your hand, and you can hear the sound of fabric rustling behind you, "sure. totally not begging me to hold your hand like some lovesick, little dove."
but any retort falls away from your tongue, right when you feel something heavy, and hot smack against your tailbone, leaving a faint, moist kiss that feels cold when it patters off, "now pay attention."
you muffle a small, desparate whine, as geto has one hand tangled with yours and the other being used to hold and smack his thick cock once more over the base of your spine, "hope s-she's ready f' me now."
you feel as though all the air has been utterly pushed out of you, just from geto practically splitting you in two. you don't even have to look at geto to know that he's absolutely wrecked already, just from the throbbing, curved tip of his cock pushing past your tight walls, snagging with only the mildest resistance.
you can almost see it in your mind's eye, picturing it all just from his low curses and gasp.
how his chin must have tucked low enough to kiss his sternum, feathery strands of hair spilling over his forehead. those inky lashes fluttering in disbelief and surrender over hazy mauve eyes.
"s-she's always so eager to take me," geto croons, and his eyes are practically glued to the way your puffy folds bulge and drool over his shaft slowly feeding inches into you, "almost there, love."
"look at, hah, t-that," your boyfriend drawls, but you can hear how entirely undone he is, that tremour cutting off the end of his words in a sharp gasp as you arch yourself into him, letting that stretch take you so deliciously.
"keep your back arched like that, love," geto murmurs, and his hands are guiding you, pulling your hips back in a gentle, rhythmic push-and-pull over his cock. leaving you to feel his girthy shaft rummage and jostle around your insides, leaving a hefty divot at the edge of your cervix in a way that has you suddenly keening out a faint moan, "doing s-so well for me."
and fuck, the sound of his groin smacking wet kisses against your ass has you feeling like your head was going to explode, and your heart was going to give out, pressing right up into your throats. but you can tell geto is pleased, ruined even as he slowly drags his cock out of you at a filthy, slow pace.
if only to make you feel every throbbing vein on him, and how it imprints on your gummy walls.
there's something just so right about him being in you like this, having his pretty love bent over and absolutely stuffed full of his cock, something that just makes sense.
and right now, nothing else in the world matters save for you, and geto can't bring himself to even care about deadlines, or a decent and sensible christmas dinner, or some stupid party. not when he's letting his weighty, drooling tip loll out of your folds.
thick and heavy like a heated rod in the cool air of the evening, as he pushes two long fingers to spread open your syrupy folds, running the angry-red tip over your gloss, before finally pushing himself back inside.
"i w-was gonna say it was this dress, love," geto stammers, swirling his hips around, trying to rustle right into you, "but i think it's just you. ya know w-what you do to me right, hah, don'tcha, pretty?"
oh you are more than aware. and that heightened sense of perception is only exacerbated by how the thick curve of his cock is bruising into you. slamming into you with a heavy smack!
geto's world tilts, leaving him teetering on the edge of an embarrassingly early orgasm. but he feels little shame, not when his head is so heavy and his lips sting, caught under the desparate press of his teeth. every shallow breath he takes feeling like it's just unravelling him further, circling the tips of his fingers over your clit, just so you can whine and arch yourself into him more.
geto decides to play that card more, wrapping a thick arm around you to pull you into the air slightly. that faint increase in angle making you buckle as his weeping tip pulls symphonies of thick, angry squelches from your sensitive cunt. each jostle of his sharp, staccato hips feeling more and more shaky.
"not too much, r-right?" geto's breath hitching in uneven bursts, caught somewhere between delirious laughter and incredulous, overstimulated sobs.
that sweet, and unsteady wheeze results in tears pricking at geto's eyes from the delicious heat of your pussy, falling over the feverish nape of your neck, "know you wanted to go o-out, wanted to wear this pretty dress but i think 'm gonna d-die if i stop now, 's okay with you, yeah?"
"not t-too much, suguru," you hiss, feeling crystalline tears pool in your own lashes, just from pure please, "f-fuck, 'm already so close."
and you truly are, he's drilling himself into you at a beastly place, jostling a large hand over your chest, brushing over the lace lining the corset bodice, as if he's desparate to get his hands into your dress, to brush his thumbs over sensitive nipples.
his cock leaving searing trails of precum against your drooling, fluttering walls, leaving behind a wet trail that almost burned you. the force of his crashing hips leaving stamps in their wake, and geto's gasping and groaning at the faint cling of your dewy pussy, snatching him in quick, forceful bursts.
you shuffle precariously, still jostled against him, as you push down the bodice of your dress. probably damaging the framework a bit, but it's so worth it to hear geto almost sigh in relief, letting his hands run over the fat of your tits. pinching, swirling his fingers over the soft skin.
geto thinks he might just collapse over you in a weak heap when he hears your whine, "wan' more, s-suguru."
yes, more. that's exactly what geto wants to give you. he wants to see you milk him dry from the heavy balls swinging against your skin, wants to see you heave breaths of air as his seed drips out of you. wants to have you pressed against him for hours on end, to flip you over so your ankle lock behind his neck.
his imagination must have been working overtime. for like the peak specimen of male virility that he is, geto suguru just ends up cumming instead.
and with an embarrassing, heady grunt from him, geto's pulling his pulsating cock out of your folds, doing his best to keep himself steady enough to use his other hand well.
to keep running his fingers in tight circles around your clit, while he lets his spurting cock pump load after load of translucent, white fluid paint your spine a pretty pearly sheen. coming right on you.
it's so messy, it's so filthy and geto feels mildly numb as he decides to push his still throbbing cock, one that is still spurting right back into you, as he pushes his weight onto you, taking care not to force you too harshly against the crumpled sheets.
and geto just can't help himself, can't stop himself from leaving sloppy, wet kisses to the back of your neck, to your cheek. can't help himself from tilting your face back so his mouth can meet yours, and he can taste that raspberry syrup from earlier on your tongue, sweet and tangy.
and geto doesn't even care that he sounds ruined, raw and brittle. absolutely tattered as he whines, "we d-don't have to go to that party, right? hnngh, jus' need to hear you say that we don't have to, i think 'm gonna need some more of her. milking me so w-well."
he doesn't hear much apart from your gasps, your short cries like a mantra of "ah, ah! suguru!"
you weren't even sure how much time had passed, an hour even. or more. and you vaguely wondered if your friends were still there. sitting at some christmas party in some luxury condo, whispering over flutes of champagne, wondering about where you were. unaware that your adonis-esque boyfriend had been pounding himself into you, stretching you out over his cock until you were seeing heavenly stars.
until you were feeling thick ropes of white paint your insides once more, and streaks of dark dimmed your vision, and mauve and violet flashed behind your eyes.
you're tugging at the hem of your dress, still laughing fondly as you watch geto. his tousled, choppy hair falling out of its knot, and his eyes half-lidded and blissed out. his crumpled white top clings to his lean frame, and he's propped up lazily against the headboard with his other thick arm slung back behind his head.
"give me another hour, and we can do it again, love," geto huffs, his voice still a little raspy from earlier.
you shake your head in amusement, despite the mildly uncomfortable feeling of slick sticking beneath your thighs, splattered over your beautiful dress, "mhm, what a nice way to spend christmas, huh?"
geto stares at you adoringly, and his eyes are heavy with contentment, like he can't quite believe that you're here, and for a second, you think maybe the world would stop right there, in this perfect moment.
he runs a thumb over your face, pressing down on your lower lip, "i think it's better than some party," and geto's tone is dreamy, lazy, "no offence to your friend."
you snicker, thinking about whether you're going to need some well-thought excuse for your dear friend. or whether you're going to spill the whole truth for her.
but just as you're about to pull geto's plush mouth into another lazy kiss, his brow furrows. a sudden, concerned shift in his expression.
"hey," your boyfriend mutters, reaching to find his phone, "what's the humidity like tonight?"
you blink, caught off guard, "humidity? what's it matter?"
well, your skin feels unusually sticky, like the air itself is clinging to your sweat-dampened skin. despite the cool air of the december night. and there's that sweet, pleasant tiredness settling into your bones.
geto's suddenly sitting up, his eyes wide with realisation, "wait, love. fuck," he's muttering, scrambling up to his feet, "the kitchen!"
before you can process what's happening, he's racing for the door, and you stare at the empty spot on the rumpled sheets where your broad boyfriend was sitting not ten seconds ago.
"what is wrong with that man?" you murmur, but you hear a panicked cry from the kitchen, something about that damned pavlova going limp and soft with the heating on.
you bite back a small comment about something else going limp and soft, deciding to save that one for later when he's back in bed.
#geto suguru#geto x reader#geto smut#geto suguru smut#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#geto suguru x reader#suguru geto#suguru geto smut#suguru geto x reader#geto x you#works#daphworks
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sharing | hyung line
who shares their girl with who in enha hyung line
pairing: enha hyung line x fem!reader
includes: threesomes, sucking dick, fingering, pussy eating, cum swallowing, hand job, nipple play (lmk if i missed anything).
heeseung .ೃ࿐
heeseung would share you with jake. he knows just from the way jake looks at you that he would make you feel good, better than any of the other guys would. jake was very loving and attentive, which is all that heeseung would want for his baby.
“he making you feel good, baby?” heeseung whispered in your ear, sending chills throughout your overheated body.
you had your head laying in his lap and he played with your hair while jake was situated between your thighs, dazed out while he was lapping at your pussy.
“yeah,” you mewled, jutting your hips into jake’s mouth, “but i want you to feel good too.”
heeseung’s heart melted slightly at the fact you still cared about him and his pleasure, even while getting your pussy eaten by his best friend.
that was how the position changed and suddenly you were on your hands and knees sucking heeseung’s heavy cock while jake ate you from behind.
he had your legs spread and stuffed his face into your pussy, moaning against your folds. you were gagging on heeseung’s cock every time it hit you in the back of the throat.
jake gets so pussy drunk so easily he’d probably start crushing on you just because of how sweet your pussy tasted around his tongue. would literally dream about the day heeseung let him eat out his girlfriend for MONTHS and beg to let him do it again.
jay *ೃ༄
i could see jay not wanting ANY of them to go anywhere NEAR his girl, but if he absolutely had to he would probably choose heeseung. heeseung was the oldest so jay trusted that he would know how to act around his girl.
and heeseung surprisingly did know his way around making you feel good. he watched with focused eyes on your reactions as he stuffed you full of his fingers, adding more and more and seeing how you liked it.
“fuck,” he muttered, watching you throw your head back in pleasure after he added a fourth finger into your tight, stuffed pussy. “she’s so fuckin’ hot.”
you were leaking arousal around his fingers, dripping down the side of his hand. you were loving this, clearly.
“good girl,” jay cooed, moving some hair out of your face. “open up, baby. let’s get both your holes full.”
he stuffed his cock into your mouth, ruthlessly fucking your throat while heeseung fingered you with an entire four fingers. you came multiple times over his fingers, each orgasm more intense than the last, and watched in awe as he brought his glistening fingers up to his mouth to taste you.
it didn’t take long for jay to shoot his warm, salty seed down your throat, filling up your tummy as well.
jake ੈ✩‧₊˚
jake would have trouble sharing you with anyone but if he had to choose, it would of course be sunghoon. sunghoon is practically jake’s brother so he felt comfortable letting sunghoon have fun with his girl, but he will absolutely NOT let anyone else fuck you. that’s for jake and jake only.
he watched with a nervous expression as sunghoon’s middle finger slid inside your shiny hole. you moaned, clenching around his finger while jake held your hand. his grip grew tighter and tighter as sunghoon massaged his finger inside of you.
“does it feel good?” he asked, kissing up your neck.
sunghoon added a second finger alongside his middle.
“f-fuck,” you whispered, feeling your hole stretch around sunghoon’s long fingers. “yeah.”
you tilted jake’s head up and attached your lips together. jake moaned into the kiss and slid his tongue into your mouth while you spread your legs even wider for sunghoon to slide in yet another finger inside you.
“so nice and tight,” sunghoon grunted, feeling you clench around his hand. “bet it feels insane fucking her.”
“don’t even think about it,” jake scolded, momentarily pulling away from your lips.
you moaned, a string of saliva connecting yours and jake’s lips.
jake lifted the fabric of your shirt up to your shoulders and started rubbing your sensitive nipples, only adding to the pleasure you were getting from sunghoon.
a few minutes later, with your lips attached to jake’s again and his fingers on your tits, you came all over sunghoon’s fingers.
sunghoon ༊*·˚
honestly i could see him allowing any of the older ones to mess around with you. he trusted all of them and knew they’d make you feel good, but he didn’t want to share you with that many people, so he chose jay.
however, choosing jay meant a lot of bickering back and forth as they both tried to pleasure you.
“she doesn’t like it like that,” sunghoon commented, watching jay circle his tongue over your clit.
“i think i know how to give a girl head,” jay retorted, irritated.
“not my girl,” sunghoon mumbled.
jay rolled his eyes as he stuffed his tongue into your cunt. sunghoon’s jaw clenched as he just sat there and watched, wishing he was the one between your legs instead.
then suddenly, he felt your hand crawl onto his lap and grip his throbbing bulge over his pants. it was like you knew he was feeling left out.
he ended up kneeling beside your head as you jerked off his pretty, long cock while jay ate you out. as weird as he felt about it, sunghoon admittedly found it pretty hot to watch you get eaten out by his best friend, and ended up cumming way too soon all over your pretty little face.
you came shortly after in jay’s mouth, who then smirked cockily at sunghoon with his glistening in your arousal.
sunghoon figured he’d let jake have you next time instead.
-
😮💨😮💨i tried to be logical about this. lmk if u agree and what pairing you want to tag team you LOL
personally i need a fivesome with all of them <3
thanks for reading!
#enha smut#enha x reader#enhypen#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#kpop smut#heeseung#heeseung smut#heeseung x reader#kpop#park jay#park jongseong#park jongseong smut#jay enhypen#jay enhypen smut#park sunghoon smut#park sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunghoon smut#sim jake smut#sim jake x reader#enhypen jake#jake sim smut#jake smut#jake x reader#jake sim#enha#lee heesung x reader#lee heeseung smut#lee heeseung
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Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)
i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*
Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:
Everything everywhere is queer all at once
Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other
The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.
Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.
God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.
There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me
They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.
Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.
The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.
Terry Pratchett is not fictional.
He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.
They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.
At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.
Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.
During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.
Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.
It's all very queer, just like the fandom.
Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.
They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.
Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.
Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'
It's all ineffably queer my good fellows
Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.
There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.
The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.
There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.
There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.
Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.
The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.
Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.
Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.
Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.
Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.
#good omens#good omens fandom#ineffably queer#good omens summary#good ineffable omens#aziraphale#crowley#azirafell#aziracrow#azirowley#aziraphel#just tumblr things#masochistic fandom#we could have been us#tell me you said no#angel#demon#unforgivable#wall slam#6000 years of pining#queer#lgbtqia#accurately summarised good omens#reblog at your peril to ruin someone else's life#deadbeat parent#absentee parent#aka god#lot of gay eye contact#ineffable husbands#god's plan doesnt exist??
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