#does everybody see how clever his boy is?

[quiet-longing]

The Vampire Armand would like to know who the hell Assad Zaman is and why he's created a fictional dynamic between his beloved and Santiago. He would also like to know if this Ben Daniels fellow is involved in this atrocity.

Daniel would like to go back to sleep. No, he's not involved in any "dynamic" with Santiago. Isn't that guy dead? Yes, he knows Ben Daniels. He knows who Ben Daniels is and so does Armand. He was in that show they just watched. The kid, the possession, the demons? No, the other guy. Yes, he's very sure they've never met. No, he doesn't know who Assad Zaman is. Google him. ...This is from google? This is from google ai. Daniel would also like to go on a good, long tear about AI and ethics, but mostly he would like to go back to bed. He's a tired old man. He would also consider it a personal favor if Armand didn't eat anyone in this little blurb. Except Santiago. If that guy managed to pull a Lestat, Armand can eat him. And maybe don't buy Google while he's asleep. They're discussing major purchases as a couple now. Remember the no more private islands without consultation conversation? Yeah, this is like that.

The Vampire Armand is sulking. And doing a speed run deep dive into AI. And sulking some more. This is why they can't have nice things. Daniel won't let him buy them anymore.

iPad kid Armand would be so mad at Google AI

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day One

So I know this has probably been overdone by lots of people on lots of years but I haven't done it yet and I want to so here goes: I'm going to rewatch get back with the days matched up and catalogue my thoughts as I watch.

We don't get to see George and John saying hi to each other, but I'm struck by how careful they are with Ringo when he comes in. "Hi Ringo, happy new year." From both of them, with full eye contact soft, sweet voices. I wonder if they're really wanting to be so gentle with him after what happened at the end of August. Not like walking on eggshells at all, but just very "we're working on doing better because we care about you."

While Paul's not there, John is giving George full attention, leaning in to him, facing him while they sing, and George seems to really love it

But then Paul shows up and you can tell before we even see him that he's arrived, because suddenly John's gaze is gone from George. His eyebrows shoot up, he chin-tilts, and (this sounds insane I know but it's what I just watched) his singing drastically improves. He's putting effort in, performing.

Paul sits down and the shy little grins and glances and inside jokes (at George's expense and hypocritical of John) ensue immediately.

Ringo's jacket. The black with the maroon velvet collar. It's very cool and it's very unique to him. I don't see the other three pulling it off the way he does. He just has effortless swagger. If the other three wore something like that they'd look like try-hards.

George's sassy little hair flip. "oh, you're recording our conversation?"

Meanwhile John and Paul are back at it like magnets I swear. Turned in to each other, talking gibberish, and strumming

George with the deadpan sass again. "Maybe we should just learn a few songs first." Lol he's so stone cold.

"Oh please believe me." "Yes I will." Come on. Do you ever stop? And then the silent communication when they screwed up. We don't see Paul's face but John makes such a cute "oops sorry" face and they keep going.

Paul's literally so bossy. I find it such a turn on, really, watching it. Just because it's him being a genius who has a vision and sucks at social skills. But if I were in that band and he wasn't letting me hit I'd literally hate him.

John's so delighted with Paul's "everybody's got a hard on... Except for me and my monkey." Because that's one of the ways he often expresses his love for Paul and Paul's giving it back to him here. So John's just "Oh he made a joke about my song. He's teasing me. He does like me."

Paul literally diggs John's part of IGAF so fucking hard though. Like as soon as John's singing, Paul can not be still. Can not. He just thinks John's so so clever (and to be fair he is)

Crazy eye fucking continues

Then Paul's off to talk big boy plans with the daddies for a minute. (would love to know who he waved at then sucked his finger) "Is this your place, Twickenham?" Okay. Feeling out a potential daddy's pockets. I see you.

Obsessed with Yoko's emerald bag and how she got her little boyfriend to wear the exact color of Henley. Ken was literally made to be Barbies accessory and he's doing such a great job matching her purse. She's so pretty and cool.

It cracks me up how extremely nonchalant Ringo is about Magic Christian. (I LOVE that movie. Ringo is so hot in it and it's anti-capitalist so it's a winner). Dennis O'Dell is all "the scripts are marvelous." And Ringo's just "yeah you told me." And then Dennis is like "I'll take up up and show you around these really great sets." Ringo: "yeah okay." It's almost like the other three have no chill so he has to have only chill to balance it out.

They really are so blunt with each other when they don't like something. "I don't dig that." "Scrap that." Which is good. If only they could've been blunt when they did like things too though. And I guess they were sometimes. Like John telling Paul to keep that lyric in Hey Jude. But I don't think they were half as open with their positive feelings about each other's work as they were the other way around and that's so sad to me.

Why does George single Paul out about the sandwiches? It's cute. I love it. But what is it? Is he particularly worried about Paul and food because Paul's picky? Is it just their relationship that they take care of each other in these simple ways because they can't take care of each other emotionally?

Fucking hell why does Paul literally flirt with everyone all the time? "No separation in there." "Rain or snow will do me." "Yeah, you're pretty right, Michael."

Pretty sure John was looking at the lyrics of TOU off that sheet that said "Another Quarrymen Original" at the bottom. I wonder what he thought of that. I wonder if it was there to signal him, and if so what was it signalling? "Hey this is about you."??

"Two of us Henry Cooper." Referencing a boxer in a song about him and John. Why? Because they're fighting?

[trekkie-in-space]

Just been thinking about Zeff and Sanji post rescue. Where they are on that ship. The people assume it's a father and his son and Zeff don't bother to correct them. Sanji is too weak to protest.

Zeff taking care of Sanji because nobody on board knows how to treat heavy malnutrition but Zeff does. If they eat too much too soon they will die. It has to be slow. But they have been starving and they are offered food and Zeff have to restrain back a feral Sanji until he can speak some knowledge into him.

Sanji do understand, it doesn't make it easy though. But Zeff do offers some support. More like a heavy hand Sanji can't escape that hold him back from reaching too much food.

Sanji helping Zeff move around. On the rock the floor may had been unleveled but it was steady. So moving with one leg was fine especially since he didn't really move.

But on the boat, with the waves, a missing leg and muscles eaten by starvation it's difficult to not fall. So Sanji helps him move around. Despite cutting his own legs and knowing he can't walk properly Zeff doesn't want to use crutches so Sanji has to be his crutches until he work fully on the loss of his limb.

Does that mean he crushed Sanji multiple time? You bet. But Sanji never complained or refused his help.

They obviously bonded over all blue then over being stuck on a rock then over healing.

But once they arrives in a harbor Zeff do tell Sanji to go on his way. He realize he hates the idea the moment he says the words but doesn't take them back. Sanji doesn't protest. Nor does he react positively. Zeff can't he'p but give him advice upon advice even when he says he will leave.

But in the end he can't walk away and frankly Sanji doesn't want him to walk away.

Their father-son relationship do build pretty quickly but they are both firery and stubborn and it create an intense dynamic with the two. Cooking is their way so they start there. And quickly take back the sea.

Zeff is chocked the first time he hear Sanji laugh. It's a few month after their rescue and before that he only smiled at time but a genuine laugh bring a load truck of joy in Zeff and damn if he still had a thought to kick the boy on his way. Now he knows he can't.

Zeff is not a gentle man, he's not affectionate and Sanji don't really seek it either. But they have a damn good flown in the kitchen and it's where most contact are made. Sanji is damn endurant and it impress Zeff, he's clever and perseverant.

Zeff never adopt officially Sanji because he find out about his family and know he can't. But he would have otherwise. He never says it in front of Sanji but everybody knows Zeff sees him as a son. And everybody knows Sanji sees Zeff as a father.

[reasonablerodents]

Have you ever wanted 70 angst-laden prompts? Well, here you go, and they’re all lyrics by The Smiths, the masters of the subject. (Yeah I could have done way more but I thought 70 was probably more than enough)

They’re sorted into several catagories: Loneliness, Breakups, Longing, Love, Questions, Cruelty and Corruption, Statements, Struggling, and Sex. I also included the song names so even if you don’t know the song, you can look it up.

However, the categories are just a guide- use them however you want! Have fun!

LONELINESS

The Queen Is Dead

-Life is very long when you’re lonely.

Never Had No One Ever

-Now I’m outside your house, I’m alone.

I Know It’s Over

-If you’re so very clever, then why are you on your own tonight?

Rushholme Ruffians

-I might walk home alone/But my faith in love is still devout.

Asleep

-Sing me to sleep/I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore.

* * * * * * * * * *

BREAKUPS

I Know It’s Over

-I know it’s over, still I cling. I don’t know where else I can go.

Unhappy Birthday

-From the one you left behind.

Jeane

-We tried, and we failed.

Miserable Lie

-There’s something against us/It’s not time.

You’ve Got Everything Now

-You’ve got everything now, and what a terrible mess I’ve made of my life.

Still Ill

-Although I ended up with sore lips/It just wasn’t like the old days any more.

Stop Me If You Think You’ve Heard This One Before

-I still love you/Only slightly less than I used to

A Rush And A Push And The Land Is Ours

-Oh, but don’t mention love, I’d hate the pain of the strain all over again.

* * * * * * * * * *

LONGING

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others

-Send me your pillow, the one that you dream on

Reel Around The Fountain

-I dreamt about you last night and I fell out of bed twice.

Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want

-So for once in my life/Let me get what I want/Lord knows, it would be the first time.

I Want The One I Can’t Have

-I want the one that I can’t have/And it’s driving me mad.

Well I Wonder

-Well I wonder, do you hear me when you sleep?/I hoarsely cry.

-Well I wonder, do you see me when we pass?/I half-die/Please keep me in mind.

How Soon Is Now?

-See, I’ve already waited too long/And now my hope is gone.

Half A Person

-Call me morbid, call me pale/I’ve spent six years on your trail.

* * * * * * * * * *

LOVE

There Is A Light That Never Goes Out

-To die by your side/Well, the pleasure and the privilege is mine.

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle

-I’ll still be by your side, for you are all that matters.

-Together we lie, together we pray.

What Difference Does It Make?

-I’d leap in front of a flying bullet for you

Hand In Glove

-No, it’s not like any other love/This one is different because it’s us.

-If they dare touch a hair on your head/I’ll fight to the last breath.

Work Is A Four-Letter Word

-If you stay, I’ll stay right beside you.

Unloveable

-I don’t have much in my life/But take it, it’s yours.

Shoplifters Of The World

-Learn to love me, assemble the ways/Now, today, tomorrow, and always.

How Soon Is Now?

-I am human and I need to be loved/Just like everybody else does.

Reel Around The Fountain

-People see no worth in you, I do.

* * * * * * * * * *

QUESTIONS

Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now

-Why do I give valuable time/To people who don’t care if I live or die?

The Boy With The Thorn In His Side

-And when you want to live, how do you start?

Miserable Lie

-What do we get for our trouble and pain?

Girlfriend in a Coma

-Do you really think she’ll pull through?

Paint a Vulgar Picture

-You could have said no, if you wanted to/You could have walked away, couldn’t you?

When Will You Accept Yourself?

-Anything is hard to find/When you will not open your eyes/When will you accept yourself?

Sweet and Tender Hooligan

-Will you free me? Will you find me?

London

-And do you think you’ve made the right decision this time?

Panic

-I wonder to myself/Could life ever be sane again?

Barbarism Begins At Home

-Why? Because of what you are.

* * * * * * * * * *

CRUELTY AND CORRUPTION

Frankly, Mr Shankly

-It pays my way and it corrodes my soul.

Miserable Lie

-You have corrupted my innocent mind.

These Things Take Time

-And you gave me something that I won’t forget too soon.

Vicar In A Tutu

-Get your vile soul dry cleaned.

Sweet and Tender Hooligan

-And he said that he’d never, never do it again/And of course he won’t, not until the next time.

What Difference Does It Make?

-Heavy words are so lightly thrown.

I Don’t Owe You Anything

-You owe me something/Repay me now.

I Won’t Share You

-Has the Perrier gone straight to my head?/Or is life sick and cruel instead?

* * * * * * * * * *

STATEMENTS

These Things Take Time

-You will leave me behind.

I Know It’s Over

-It takes strength to be gentle and kind.

Rubber Ring

-But they were the only ones who ever stood by you.

Back To The Old House

-There’s too many bad memories.

Girl Afraid

-I’ll never make that mistake again.

* * * * * * * * * *

STRUGGLING

What’s The World?

-I’m going under/You can feel them pulling me down.

I Keep Mine Hidden

-Hate, love and war/Force emotions to the fore/But not for me, of course/I keep mine hidden.

You Just Haven’t Earned It Yet, Baby

-You must suffer and cry for a longer time/You just haven’t earned it yet, baby.

That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

-It’s too close to home/And it’s too near the bone.

Well I Wonder

-Gasping, but somehow still alive/This is the fierce last stand of all I am.

You’ve Got Everything Now

-I’ve seen you smile, but I’ve never really heard you laugh.

I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish

-I started something/And now I’m not too sure.

Sheila Take A Bow

-How can someone so young sing words so sad?

* * * * * * * * * *

SEX

Handsome Devil

-And I would like to give you/What I think you’re asking for.

-I crack the whip/And you skip/But you deserve it.

-And let me get your head/On the conjugal bed.

Pretty Girls Make Graves

-Give in to lust, give up to lust.

Stretch Out And Wait

-What I do know is we’re here and it’s now/So stretch out and wait.

Ask

-So if there’s something you’d like to try/Ask me, I won’t say no, how could I?

Reel Around The Fountain

-15 minutes with you, oh, I wouldn’t say no.

[bwoahtastic]

Lil mousey nicky is my everything 😭. Can you imagine what it would be like for nico and toto to drop him off at school for his first day? Everybody would be in tears. Seb has already skipped off to his class because he doesn't need momma and papa to hold his hand he's a big boy now! but nico and toto are so emotional about nicky going to school. They know that it will be good for him because mousey is so clever and deserves the chance to make friends, but it's still really difficult for them. They've already had meetings with the principal and nicky's teacher so that everyone knows about his background and can help him properly if he needs it, and he's even going to be in the same class as teddy alex so it's not like he'll be alone. But it still feels a bit like they're abandoning him, and nico and toto hate that because they know that's what nicky's most afraid of, that momma and papa will abandon him and he'll be on his own again, and they never, ever want their precious pinkie to feel like that.

They walk nicky to his classroom and greet his teacher and get nicky settled at his desk, and nico tries to tell mousey that he's going to have so much fun and learn so much, but he's almost in tears as he does so, which of course, only makes it harder. Nicky's teacher persuades them to go, even though both nico and nicky are almost crying. Toto has to guide nico to the car because he can't see for all of the unshed tears pooling in his eyes, but as soon as the car door shuts, he's fully crying. And if toto sheds a few tears as he tries to comfort nico, well, no one has to know. Nico wants them to wait just outside the school in case nicky needs them, but toto says that they have to give him some space, and then proceeds to drive exactly two streets away because he's not going to be the lunatic parent waiting just outside the gate, but he does agree with nico that they should be close in case nicky needs them

Oh plss!

Nicky being quite excited but super nervous too! Teddy Alex will be there and he met his teacher already but he will miss momma abd papa so so much and Sebby too!

Nico being so anxious too and he doesn't want his baby to go! He kissed Seb's head, as dows Toto before the cub zooms off to play with Dan and Britta but Nicky whimpers and clings to momma's leg🥺 they head inside and Nicky clings even closer because he can sense papa and momma are nervous too! The teacher is nice and he gets to sit next to Teddy Alex who holds his hand and babbles about how he got grapes as treat for in the break and he loves grapes!

Nicky making momma and papa pinky swear they will come get him! And Nico just shakily makes Nicky pinky promise to have the best day ever! And pls Toto having to hold Nico as they leave cos Nico is just so shaky and in tears!

Nico bawling his eyes out in the car and Toto holds him and quietly cries too cos thats their baby mousy! They totally stay two streets away in the car and snuggle in the back sear with snacks Toto brought and for a bit Nico even sleeps snuggled into him, too tired after crying.

Finally they get to pick mousy and seb up and Nico and Toto hold their boys so tight! They are very relieved Nicky had a good day and babbles happily about arts and crafts and numbers! And lil teddy Alex toddling after them because Nicky forgot the drawing he made of the family!

(Also th3 teacher being sweet omega Tonio? Like all soft spoken in pretty skirts and dresses and his lil cow ears and horns😭 HD is super good with Nicky and knows when to call the family, and totally ends up eith Kimi<3)

[plasticfangtastic]

Maybe am just retarded but i will never understand the redditors who insist that nobody but the selected few intellectuals understand that The Boys is satire.

Throwing the words "media illiterate" left and right to justify a decline on the writing of the show bcuz of course they have to dumb it down and be even more explicit with their satire so ppl will stop thinking Homelander is cool!!! BCUZ HE IS BAD DONT U GET THAT HE IS BAD!! STOP LIKING HIM REEEE!!! They scream and seethe in the back.

As if the reason people like him is not because he is a cool villain and he is interesting and incredibly well acted.

Is there a % of ppl who refuse/miss the satire? Yeah but why does everybody else must suffer bcuz they wanna own a small % of their viewership? Or Homie fans?

To be honest i think most ppl who think Homelander is a "literally me fr fr" characther or think he is a hero probably only know him from memes (i always think of this one reddit post of a guy showing his dad the show and his dad being shocked that Homelander wasnt this silly sad guy getting put on situations bcuz of how he is portrayed in memes) i just dont think the writers realized that the pop culture portrayal of Homelander has cemented an image thats disconnected from the source material, which ppl have found relatable (not to mention most literally me guys tend to be violent fuckers so i dont think his violence is lost to ppl is just a meme lost on you) and they dont need to try to rectify the masses for wrong think.

Like nobody asked to suffer thru what i expect to be a painful viewing experience that will be non-stop trump references and parodies that will be violent beaten on the viewers bcuz they r angry that people had the audacity of liking this friendless loser with a great ass over other characthers (as if 99% of the characthers arent horrible fucking wankers except for the Gen V kids those r precious and i will defend them to death) not to mention how annoying it will be for the non americans like myself who are just so done with the cultural obsession over a dude not even in power anymore.

Like S1 and S2 were clever with their satire while it was always left leaning in their politics it was nice to see them at least take a jab at the champaigne libs and their attitudes that negatively affects their side (bare minimum really) but at least it felt like it had something to say.... mind u i absorb this show as a characther lead show and zone out the americanism bcuz it provides absolutely nothing for my latino/australian brain like its not relatable or interesting anymore. Like if they start parodying The Liberal and Labor party or the Greens that would be interesting to watch.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Hairspray, 2007👗👛👑✨ 🍬🍭🎀💋🌸

CANCER

Hairspray is the sign of cancer, cancer rules, race, and this amazing musical is all about the race war and how black Scott treated unfairly back in the day, and how one girl in the film wants to make it all better by making sure that every day is Negro day. She tries to make things good for everyone and fall in love with the typical pretty boy. Tracy, who’s a bigger girl is made fun of her weight throughout the film, as is her agoraphobic mother to Tracy Turnbull has a lot of cardinal energy and a chart due to her being able to fight battles and be a leader and initiator in her area and fighting for what she believes in for people who don’t or can’t stand up for themselves due to racial injustice she becomes a pioneer and what she does. I believe she has Uranus in the first house, when you have urines in the first house you are in initiative in your area and she was able to become the head girl of the show and made it better for everyone. Besides, the mother and daughter duo who were evil and wanted the segregation they didn’t want anything to change. They were scared of the change .

that’s why it was cancer because cancer also does not like change . She has cancer herself her chart🏠 So I’m going to go for the fact that Tracy is a libra🌞, a Capricorn rising, and a cancer���moon , a ♍️ Virgo mercury being able to charm the pants off everybody in the entertainment industry and they loved her for it , because this is the home of where mercury likes to be, and that’s why our head was so full of forts and how things had to be a certain way, and she knew she wasright , her libra son brings out her, not following what her mother says, and then going to the father and trying to weigh things up between the two of them, and getting Penny into trouble also . she’s an Aries Mars which makes it at her able to be able to do things quick and get them done in the way that she wants them to be done. I’m very clever and fast paced when she wants to be. Let’s talk about her dancing too which can come along with that, and the fact you say that she has massive hair on her head . hi Venus sign say libra is because she is a hopeless, romantic,  her best friend, Penny, I see as being a a Aquarius or Pisces because she’s quite weird and zany but also a bit scared of her mother and her mother. I see as a Taurus because she has worked her business for many years from home and also surface from agoraphobia but it’s also suffers with her weight.

[horsegirlalexkralie]

Okay, okay, but what about Tim losing the coin toss when he becomes a regular in on Jay and Alex's fun. He feels a pit in his stomach like dread, but really, it's lust and anticipation.

He's practically shaking when it rolls around, trying his best to be quiet and keep low, but he underestimates how clever Alex and Jay are when they work together, circling him like animals hunting their prey.

They pounce on him, and he's slammed into a tree. The bark scratches his skin, but he loves it. The pain is somehow incredible, and he thinks he's losing his mind.

Jay presses his knife to Tim's chest and leaves just the thinnest cut that has the man gasping into the air when Alex cuts it off with a hand at his throat, warning him that this is just the beginning.

holding this ask in my grimy little hands . petting it . probably groping it inappropriately but only out of love

didnt mean to take so long to get to this but what can u do. cut to keep everybodys dash pretty and somewhat sfw

tim's been pretty lucky the first few times they've done this.

they added in a couple rounds of rock-paper-scissors when he admitted he'd be alright with ending up on the bottom, so there's something to eliminate one of them off the bat- best two out of three, where the winner is safe and the other two flip a coin. tim doesn't even have to pick a side for the coin toss for a while, and even then he's almost convinced himself in the back of his brain somewhere that maybe it's never coming, because he picks right every time, regardless of which of them he's up against. (in the front of his brain, much louder, some other part of him- the part that paid attention in prob and stat, evidently- is reminding him that, according to the math, every upcoming boys' trip is extremely fucking likely to be the one where he finally plays victim.) they keep accusing him of rigging it- he keeps insisting (truthfully) he would have to be a mindreader or fucking magneto to cheat at these, and maybe alex should stop throwing paper so much if he actually wants to win.

he's pretty sure they're conspiring against him, when he finally does lose, but that's probably pride talking. it's down to him or alex, and tim lets him call it, because he's a gentleman, because it doesn't matter to him, he's never been nervous before, why would he be? go ahead, jay, flip the thing. he couldn't care less. (tim's shaking, sweating, his heart wild and fluttery. he doesn't even want to look. alex calls as it's in the air- heads- and when it clatters to the floor he can tell from jay's shit-eating grin before he even sees the quarter that tonight's the night.)

jay draws up a little chart for him on a sheet of notebook paper, a vertical list (tim skims it- bondage, photo/video, edging- somehow he both was and wasn't expecting this. the words look perversely innocuous in jay's tidy handwriting) with boxes to check off beside each topic labelled yes / no / maybe; jay tells him to finish filling it out within the hour, ask any questions he has between now and then. tim's holding in the urge to start ripping bits off to calm his nerves. settles for twirling the pen around in his hand when he's thinking about his answers. alex wandered off somewhere after jay set him up with his new homework- tim's only asked after him once, because jay told him not to worry about things that don't concern him in a tone that left no room for argument and made tim blush a little just for how simply he'd been dismissed. made him duck his head and start filling out jay's paper with a new focus, going down the line and squirming with each checkmark he writes. it's an embarrassing amount of yeses. cutting got a maybe, as did impact play after he'd asked jay what it meant, but if tim's honest with himself, he's really only scared of how he'll react, nervous he'll look stupid in front of these two beautiful creatures who seem to have an affinity and understanding for pain he can only admire from the outside. still, he draws those checks closer to the 'yes' column than he needs to, can't tell if he's hoping or dreading they'll notice.

jay tells him to go home when he's done, put on something he doesn't mind getting dirty. park outside the woods, leave his important shit in his car, hide the keys somewhere jay and alex would think to look but not somewhere obvious. (jay insists on it. apparently they've both lost their keys in the woods doing this. tim figures it's probably best to have the least amount of jingly shit on him anyway.) he's supposed to call one of them after he gets there, but jay says they'll give him a head start. noticably does not specify how long that'll be, so when tim hangs up and shuts his phone in the car (pre-locked, keys buried in a shallow hole marked with rocks, he's not dicking around) all of the day's anticipation swells at once into one wave of panic as it sets in that he is entirely out of the loop for what's currently on its way. hell, he's watched alex check his watch two minutes after hanging up with jay, telling him he's got plenty of time to get his shit in order and find a place to hide bc alex is in the middle of something or other, and smack his pocket for his car keys, ask tim if he's ready to get going. the head start could've absolutely been bullshit. would make more sense if it was.

needless to say he's a nervous wreck by the time he starts hearing jay's voice at the edge of the treeline calling his name, giddy and sing-song like they're playing hide and seek or something, tii-im! ohh, timothyyy! there's no point hiding, you should know that! and he does, he should really know better by now, and still he tries. tucks himself into the space where two trees are growing together, presses his hand over his mouth, tries not to let anything rustle. he can hear jay, breaking twigs and calling for him every so often, and it's not long before he's close enough tim can see him, just-barely. his flashlight's off, so it's only the moon reflecting on his skin, standing predator-still and staring out into the trees somewhere to tim's right. he doesn't say anything. tim doesn't know how long they're like that, only that he's breathing through his nose as shallowly as he can manage, only that he hasn't moved except to shake everywhere like a frightened deer. he's light-headed when jay finally shakes his head as if to clear it and turns to leave, his heart thudding in his ears, and maybe that's why he doesn't consider the possibility jay was bluffing with that little performance until he's taken a step and it's already too late.

and tim's played this game before, he knows he's lost as soon as it becomes a matter of running, two-on-one, knows he's fucked when jay stops and turns his head like a dog scenting something, his eyes lost to shadow but most certainly fixed on tim.

he manages to dodge them, somehow, puts up a good fight for a while, but he's losing speed the longer they're out here and the two of them seem like they're always in sync, always one on his heels if not the other- he crashes through the underbrush, jay hot on his trail, into what he thinks is a decent spot to catch his breath and is actually the place where alex was waiting for him to run past. "made it easier for me, actually," alex pants, as they're grappling in the dirt, "thanks for that," and he's strong, stronger than he looks, and tim's out of breath already, starting to get tired, and even when he does wriggle out of alex's grasp and get loose he only makes it a few dozen feet, maybe, before he's getting shoved against a tree so hard it knocks the wind out of him, jay's arm across his chest, his body hot and trembling with exertion where it presses into tim's. he's grinning, panting, wheezes when he starts to snicker and tells tim he's impressed, actually, he hadn't thought it would take this long.

tim's first mistake is hesitating, getting overcome with the sudden helplessness of being caught, jay's flustering proximity- it means alex has time to catch up to them, pull tim's wrists behind his back and give him his first taste of true restraint, a length of rope and a knot that's done before tim has finished realizing what's happening. it's not until jay's kissing him, slick and filthy and forceful, and alex is tugging at his hair, dragging his nails down his neck, popping the buttons off his shirt, that tim begins to get it. there's nothing he can do anymore.

still, he's proud of how calm he is at first. how coherent he stays when they're both on him, keeping up the smartassery as they're opening his shirt to play with his tits, kissing his neck and sucking hard enough to bruise- "you're such a mouthy little bitch," jay says, pinches harder at his nipple, and maybe tim's second mistake is grinning against the pain and doubling down, panting, "yeah, do something about it," because the look that goes between them sends a chill through his veins.

it's silent for a moment, and then jay laughs, throws his head back and everything, the wild hyena-cackle tim's only ever heard in these woods, makes a show of leaning on alex's shoulder and wiping his eyes and wheezing. tim wants to tell him to slap his fuckin' knee while he's at it, that he hopes jay chokes. wants to say anything that would make him feel like a respectable prey-animal, at least, a victim with some dignity. doesn't get the chance before alex is whispering something in jay's ear, leaned into his orbit like they're the only people in the world. (they're still both fucking looking at him. maybe the touching was easier. jay nods at something alex says, looks to him and then back- the touching was easier. tim wants to scream.)

"we wanted to ask you about something," jay says, "or i guess i did," and he reaches in his pocket and flicks out his little silver switchblade and the ice in tim's blood is back, tenfold, as the two of them close in on him. "so when you said 'maybe'..."

[slettlune]

alright paris the musical liveblog let's gooooooo

FIRST HALF! watch me lose all principles whenever i think a melody is nice

like idk man the poster for this gives me that HE ONLY DID IT FOR LOVE thing with paris that doesn't appeal to me, that's why i haven't checked it out before. i feel they're gonna turn him into a hapless but sympathetic hero. bet there won't be an oenone. but here we go

IT'S SO EIGHTIES. I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS THIS EIGHTIES. oh this is good actually

when homer (!) is dramatically presenting all the main players, in my mind i can't help but see them strike sassy poses as the spotlights hit them, their sequins flashing. "agamemnon! of mycenea!"

"ulysses! of ithaca! / longs for peace and security" i don't know if i like that as the main trait he's introduced with but okay let's see how he works in this paris-centered narrative

'head without a heart' IS SO GOOD. ohh it's just the kind of eighties' vibe i like.

oh this this framing might place the blame of the trojan war more at paris' feet than helen's, which i like, but also that he's just a stupid youngster, and that's interesting too: "Not some mad messiah of destruction and fire / Just a lovestruck youth"

ohhh and i LOVE paris interacting directly with cassandra! he never seems to do that in any adaptations. "Sister, please don't grieve / I've learned my part to the letter"

'straight ahead': HOLY SHIT GET HYPE. it's so extremely "cool protagonist is finally gonna live his life" opening number. it's weird to have paris be that kind of protagonist. but also it makes me think about how this poor shepherd boy was the WORST guy to make an ambassador, like cassandra IS right about that.

ugh i don't like when they put the weird histrionic plot stuff in the middle of a cool-ass song.

i'm dying at the others screaming at paris while he's like "the sea and sky :D my friends and i :D what could go wrong, what could -AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

paris falls in love with helen at first sight and assumes she's aphrodite. does aeneas know paris is weird about his mom. oh my god i just realized EVERYBODY'S weird about aeneas' mom, that's gotta be exhausting for him

"i married young, in love with power" oh it's one of those where helen's unhappily married. sigh. okay.

OH the way 'business' takes off after agamemnon's evil laugh. i'm appalled at the characterization but i'm just gonna have to roll with it because the music in this thing rocks

THERE HE IS! QUAST-PATROCLUS. who's like "ummmmm wHY are we having a meeting without my bestie achilles here"

OHH AGAMEMNON TRICKED ACHILLES SO HE WOULDN'T APPEAR AND BE VOTED COMMANDER. okay if we're doing evil agamemnon at least he's clever

oh this is a rum tum tugger-ass achilles omg. ohh i hate this but it's so funny. weakest character song so far

ahahaaa ulysses looking at paris' rags and telling him "To gain entry by disguise is an excellent ploy / I shall remember that, prince of Troy"

i enjoy helen being kinda exhausted by the whole thing. "Stop your adoration, I don’t need complications / I'm not a goddess, I am king Menelaus’ wife"

evil agamemnon using the abduction for his own political gain. hm. that makes sense actually (as long as he's evil i mean)

oh now 'thief in the night' establishes that menelaus really loves helen, i didn't expect that from this kind of framing. how is this gonna end now

HELEN HAS SUDDENLY KILLED SOMEONE? WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN SONGS??

"I love her / I believe she loves me" I WISH SOMEONE WOULD ASK HER. I THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD TO MAKE SURE.

jon english who wrote this also plays hector and does NOT give himself enough songs to go ham on, god his voice is so good when he's PUSHING IT

[adamshallperish]

my rating of supernatural season 2

1 - in my time of dying

literally they were insane for starting a season off like this. it had everything. i appreciate in hindsight how well it set up the themes for the entire rest of the season, as well as genuinely threw me off and astonished me. i have such complicated feelings on john winchester, but jeffrey dean morgan infuses him with such sympathy that i couldn't help but feel for him. fredric lehene as azazel is also a highlight, i genuinely think he gave us one of the best performances of the season, and i wonder if we'll be seeing him back. emotionally i think this was my most evocative post of the liveblog. 10/10

2 - everybody loves a clown

while the monster in this didn't hit as hard for me, i think it did a great job of setting up the roadhouse as a central location for the show, as well as introducing us to ellen, jo, and ash (my beloved, may his memory be a fucking blessing). it was also really impactful to see sam and dean's separate ways of grieving john, as well as giving us a really interesting role reversal. showing dean as the one disillusioned with their father while sam is eager to carry on his work is very compelling, especially because it's evident (at least to me) that sam is far more like his father than dean is. i'm glad they resolved my stress about the impala because jesus christ. 8/10

3 - bloodlust

MAN this episode fucks. it has a lot of supernatural all time hits, like dean's coping mechanisms (bad), classic winchester codependency, wondering about the morality of judging all supernatural creatures as "monsters" to be exterminated, and starts setting up the tension of dean potentially having to kill his brother. unfortunately, it also introduces another kind of supernatural standard, which is its constant crimes against black people. gordon is an interesting and compelling character, but you can really tell he was the product of white writers and casting directors, because his complexities are not treated well. it's also worth noting that in this season, the majority of the recurring antagonists are black men, and the implications of that just. doesn't really sit well with me. beyond that though, the premise of the episode is really interesting. 7/10

4 - children shouldn't play with dead things

we have another like. weirdly sexually charged episode. which is par for the course in this show but it's always funny to witness wincest in its natural tongue-in-cheek habitat. i thought the monster in this was fun, and it sets up the revelation dean has about john dying for him very very well. the one sin is that y'all did not have an episode set in lawrence kansas without having the boys go visit missouri mosely? really? the disrespect. 8/10

5 - simon said

this episode did NOT have to go as hard as it did. this is like. peak supernatural. i really enjoyed andy as a character, and the further setup of the chosen children and their abilities is sick as hell. the parallels between sam & dean and andy & his brother were... appropriately bonkers. this is supernatural. we can't have a normal brotherly relationship. we got fell on black days. 10/10

6 - no exit

i have to admit that i really love jo and was glad to see her centered more in an episode, though i am begging her and dean just to get it over with and make out already. i also thought that making h. h. holmes the ghost was pretty badass. this season does a lot more with actual american folklore and history instead of just having generic monster of the week episodes, and as a huge nerd i thought that was great. the ellen and john backstory reveal was also particularly tragic. i had fun here. 7/10

7 - the usual suspects

okay this one was so much fun. this was one of the first episodes where they really shook up the formula and turned our expectations of it on its head. i also thought highlighting how in sync sam and dean are with each other through a prisoner's dilemma scenario was really clever. this show never really commits to an acab stance in a way i would have preferred, but this was the early aughts so like. it's whatever. they get close enough to it. 8/10

8 - crossroad blues

this episode excels in that it takes one of the most classic american folktales (selling your soul to the devil at the crossroads) and uses it as a fun monster premise as well as setting up the denouement. it also has a fun tribute to robert johnson, which i found pretty cool. demons seal deals with a kiss so i demand to know why the hell azazel and john didn't kiss. you know. for scientific purposes. 8/10

9 - croatoan

insane that this show managed to make a zombie apocalypse style episode without zombies or the apocalypse. it was pretty inventive, especially because i'm kind of tired of the white western idea of zombies. the conspiracies around the word croatoan are kind of funny to me because like. overwhelmingly the evidence points to the lost roanoke colony assimilating with the local american indian nations, but i'm here for a fun time not a technical time. this episode also sets up some insane lore for the end of the season with sam, as well as some classic winchester agonizing. 9/10

10 - hunted

gonna put a quick trigger warning for discussion of racism here.

this episode could have been perfect and then they dropped the ball so hard at the end that it was physically painful. it had two incredible soundtrack choices (white rabbit and supermassive black hole), what was maybe a twin peaks reference???, it girl katherine isabelle, and some really well done suspense where dean is essentially a trap baited for sam. however, the righteous justice for gordon being sam calling the cops on him so a bunch of cops roll up on a black man wildly shooting a gun into the night made me feel sick to my stomach. there's no real way to look at that as anything but racist and tone deaf. they could have handled gordon's character far better. at the time, i said that i was glad that the show didn't show its white protagonists shooting a black man in cold blood, but the last episode really negated that. ugh. i don't know if i feel good about rating this episode quite honestly, because it was really the best and worst of supernatural.

11 - playthings

HOLY FUCK. WHAT CAN I EVEN SAY THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID. it's a homage to the shining and also like. thee wincest episode? how am i supposed to be normal about this. 100/10

12 - night shifter

i'm so glad they brought the shapeshifter mechanic back, but i don't think it was done as effectively as in skins 1x06, but maybe i just have a fixation on the erotic. anyway. i kind of struggled with the setup for this, because while it is cool, it doesn't feel as classically supernatural to me. calling sam dean's bonnie to his clyde? insane. 7/10

13 - houses of the holy

i don't really have anything coherent to say here except sam winchester prays every day. amen. 8/10

14 - born under a bad sign

ohhhh the concept of this fucked so hard, but the pacing was just really off. it felt like simultaneously this episode should have had more time with this story, but on the other hand i don't know if it should have lasted two episodes. lost time is one of my favorite tropes, and the tension that comes with demon!sam is fantastic. i just wish that this episode had hit harder for me. 7/10

15 - tall tales

i said in my liveblog that this episode felt like that one episode of merlin where gaius is possessed by a goblin, and i stand by that. honestly i understand the need for there to be lighter episodes with less heavy stakes, and it was fun to see how the brothers saw the same events from different points of view, but this episode was kind of a low point for me. it was fun, but nothing extraordinary. i did really like the detail of the trickster getting away at the end. that was fun. 6/10

16 - roadkill

okay i did not expect this episode to tear my heart out. i really liked this, i thought it was startlingly sweet and sad. mike flanagan wishes he could make ghosts realizing they're dead this good quite honestly. 10/10

17 - heart

what the fuck! 10/10

18 - hollywood babylon

this was a lot of fun! this show likes to play around with meta a lot, and i think this was probably the most well done example of it thus far. it felt like the showrunners were poking fun at themselves more than anything, which i found pretty neat. 7/10

19 - folsom prison blues

first of all. you can't fucking name your episode folsom prison blues and not even play a johnny cash song. that's not how that works. it has some genuinely fun stakes and doesn't handle the prison aspect totally awfully. we also got an alice in chains needle drop! rooster was completely misplaced contextually, but aic's one of my favorite bands and i'm just glad we got it. 7/10

20 - what is and what should never be

what the fuck part two. dean winchester breaks my heart. 8/10

21 - all hell breaks loose (part 1)

HI UH THIS IS PEAK TELEVISION. I FEEL. HUUUUUGH. they really did it! they spent the entire season telling us that sam was going to die and then the crazy sons of bitches did it! i also really genuinely enjoyed the premise, as well as the ava reveal (katherine isabelle carried), and ash and andy made me so sad. fredric lehne is pure ice as azazel. delicious episode. 10/10

22 - all hell breaks loose (part 2)

this episode made me want to commit atrocities and i'm fine. dean winchester's constant willingness to sacrifice for the ones he loves because he's so deeply convinced that he's let them down makes me want to gnaw off all my fingers. sam's maybe come back wrong? incredible. JOHN WINCHESTER WITH A STEEL CHAIR. i'm addicted to this show. 10/10

[rubykgrant]

I would very much like to see the experience of Tucker introducing Poppy to Reservoir Dogs. I live that kind of stuff. Before he passed, I introduced my dad to RWBY because we had already been RvB fans together for years, and during COVID I introduced my aunt and sister to RWBY and we all keep up with it. Needless to say, I love that kind of stuff, and it'd be neat to see Tucker experience that. Bonus if Junior is there too cuz 20 years from now I want my kids seeing RvB

(I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but glad to know you could share things together like that. My dad died several years ago, and many of the movies I enjoy I watched because he showed them to me, and as I got older, I would share new things with him. I still have my mom, and we enjoy either re-watching movies we've loved for years, or me showing her something new)

I wish I had the time/energy to draw out all the interactions I have in mind for Poppy and the others, but I do indeed have a lot planned! Poppy was meant to be the new Red Team member, and because Simmons so rarely gets to make any new friends, I thought it would be funny if in the beginning, Sarge is like- "Look boys, we got a new Red! She's a real firecracker!". Simmons' internal knee-jerk reaction is KILL-DIE-HATE-DEATH-MURDER-DESTROY (because that's HIS father-figure that he also tried to bury alive one time, back off!). Then Poppy has ONE conversation with him about the Ewoks Cartoon, and Simmons just goes- "Oh, sibling?". Yes, sibling! It also helps later when Gene shows back up; Poppy can tell them apart just fine- "They don't even sound the same. Simmons sounds like Simmons. Gene sounds like an obnoxious little dipshit".

I wanted to have a few different interactions with Poppy and everybody else, to show how they would get along, and how they would argue (because that's just the fun with all these goobers! they love each other, and they WILL bicker constantly). Tucker becoming Poppy's first friend in the group (besides Sarge) wasn't planned, but then it was accidentally cute? She first meets him when he arrives to do some special training as a favor to Sarge, but he immediately trips and falls down a hill. Poppy is the only one around, so when she helps him up, he doesn't say right away WHY he's there (a bit embarrassed). She introduces herself with her first name, and he does the same- Lavernius. It eventually comes out that yes, he was here to help with the same "Freelancer Training" that Wash put him through, and Poppy is nice enough not to tell everybody he ate dirt 10 minutes ago. They then proceed to get along, because a couple of the others training under Sarge try to give Poppy a hard time, and Tucker gives her some fun suggestions as come-backs (Mr Quick-Witted, Mr Sarcastic). She tells him- "You're funny!", and it takes a sec for Tucker to process that- "I... I am?". Most people just groan and complain about his jokes, but they are vibing!

When Poppy officially becomes part of the group, Tucker gets to catch her up on everything (who has what annoying habit, etc), and at last, somebody new to show Reservoir Dogs to! This is like having a new friend you get to show all your favorite stuff to! Tucker truly has incredible depth as a character, he's smart and clever, he carries so much responsibility, and he CARES a LOT about other people. When he jokes about being important, it is usually just false bravado... but then he actually IS important, VERY IMPORTANT. Which is why he struggles with not feeling good enough, falling back on his own annoying habits. Tucker realizes Poppy has issues with feeling comfortable just being HERSELF, and losing the group of Reds and Blues who used to be her friends (Flag Zealots who ran out of ammo, and started harmlessly pulling pranks on each other, mostly fighting over who got to keep Poppy on their team). They both just make each other feel welcomed in a very simple and easy way.

In the larger part of my story-line, it takes a while, but they DO find Junior again. Poppy has heard so much about him from Tucker, she's more than happy to really get to know him. Poppy is very good at making Junior feel accepted right away (the kind of person who can chill with kids, talk about stuff sort of on the same level, but is also very comforting and supportive, a balance of a cool friend who will still be responsible).

[mcl-mia]

//so... i have (finally) began trudging my way through the routes of wh again (done every route prior to rembrant's, sans klaus 2 because i am petty and still think it shouldn't have existed), and i've finally gotten to nox's route. just finished rembrandt's. and like... man do i have Thoughts. so i'm going to compile them and scream into the void. many of them will probably be on rembrandt's route, but that's because.... you know. the one i just finished.

first of all. narrative wise, i ADORE the continuation. i love how they are all in one connected timeline, it really brings such a finality to season 2 and it does, despite having its own issues, fixes what one of my biggest problems with the s1 routes (i.e. self contained story lines that don't connect anywhere). they introduce like, 80% of the cast that you're going to be interacting with and dating for the forseeable future and it makes it feel like a proper overarching storyline actually EXISTS!!! AND THERE IS ONE!!! AND IT WILL SOMETIMES REFERENCE S1 STUFF!!! IT'S SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

-100 points for having the rest of the s1 cast being almost fucking absent though. i understand that like. narratively they wouldn't always need to be there. however. i miss my boys. also -10000000 points for practically no amelia. where's my fucking wingman.

i 👏 love 👏 the 👏 night 👏 class 👏 boys. 👏👏👏 they feel like an actual friend group and shit like this makes me soooooo fucking emotional:

literally this makes me so feral. like, these people are liz's best fucking friends and it SHOOOWWWWSSS. the unconditional love here makes my heart want to burst.

i am eating so much good food lore wise. geography from bith hisoka and rembrandt's routes have me eating so good.

i like the time travel aspect well enough, though i do wish they did a smidge more with it? i'm not done with the rest of the routes yet obv but i'm curious to see if liz gets to keep her time powers. the end of rembrandt's route seems to imply that she lost them because the goddess crystal shattered, though?? status is currently unclear.

this line from mischa destroyed me:

like seriously. what the fuck. this is such a good line. and it reminds me that hugo, vain, and mischa have seen so many possible timelines that exist, and yet there IS one where hugo decides to take his shot. i know they basically have everybody be in love with liz but i think it's especially cute but very cruel for hugo, who almost certainly falls in love with her every time he meets her in a different timeline. just something to think about.

speaking of mischa. i think it's fucking adorable how chica and mischa are pen pals. besties. refined ladies. we love them. idk why tumblr doesn't want me to upload the screenshot but it's really cute.

so. routes. hugo's and hisoka's felt like..... nothing? like sure, they had some Big Picture Plot relevance, hugo's moreso for obvious reasons, but hisoka's felt like a beach episode. really weird.

hisoka's especially felt like nothing. like, cool that they introduce beastmen and , subsequently,the not so cool furry racism (wow i love fe9/fe10). but like. what else did it do besides have rembrandt take his watch back. and some geography. it was a nice change of pace, but the stakes felt so incredibly low compared to the two other routes its sandwiched between. don't get me wrong, i love the ending that came out from it. i LOVE the market idea and i love how it was walter fucking goldstein that sponsors hisoka. i just wish that, like..... there was bigger things going on in it. cute route overall, but just felt a little out of place. also hachi is a 10/10 familiar. would give so many pets.

ok. so rembrandt. i love, like, a LOT of how this route is written, to an extent. it is SO full of lore and dragonkin biology. i also like the overt head-smashing symbolism of rembrandt's magic being called "twilight" - not quite day, not quite night. if i were any dumber i'd call it clever.

so. to go back to the bad. because i think, very ironically, rembrandt is the worst part of his own fucking route. it's not that i don't find rembrandt exceedingly pretty, because he is, and his characterization is kinda... good? but he's just not the rest of the cast. literally the rest of the s2 squad consistently make me smile and giggle like a child, while i'm giving the "romance" a 1000 yard stare.

like, seriously. this small convo with lucious is just fucking great and better than any dialogue liz and rembrandt have ever had:

lucious calling his friends virgins is so funny. you go you funky little dude. never change, baby boy. but this is just soooo GOOD.

there's a lot of instances where they make it a point to show that the s2 cast really cares for liz, and that they are so comfortable around her. there's SO much good interaction and it's so cute... and then rembrandt is just. there. in the corner. losing his religion.

ok but seriously. let's talk about rembrandt himself for a sec. because like, rembrandt is fine. i appreciate that they don't beat around the bush that he is literally going to outlive liz. i also appreciate that everybody else is like, "do not fucking trust him, he is literally the enemy". unfortunate that due to the nature of the route liz is like "nuh uh" which makes everyone else be like "fym nuh uh". overall though i feel like he's just. too bland. which is WILD considering that he was a prison of war for like 1000 years. i know it's moreso that in his route he has (because of liz) finally started to trust humans again, but i wanted hesitation, i wanted DRAMA, a more romeo and juliet type beat!!! that came kinda close to it, but rembrandt being there and basically turning himself in is.... lame. very lame. sigh.

and then we have the incorporation of rembrandt into the main group. like, i love the night class boys SO much. and like, it bothered me a lot when liz would be like "oh don't worry rembrandt, we're your friends and you're part of the group now!" when rembrandt would do basically nothing but exist there. like, he barely interacted with them??? he felt very out of place, especially when the rest of the boys were still unsure about rembrandt. at least make fun of zeus like the rest of us, old man.

also. the plot point where rembrandt met liz when she was a kid, and she changed his whole outlook on humans..... uuuugggghhhhh. felt very unnecessary imo. it's like they just wanted to slap in another romance trope to make up for the fact that there wasn't a lot of romance to begin with. uuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

this was funny:

thank you for your services caesar o7

oh! and nox's outfit as nightmare is dumb. i know wh probably wasn't getting the greatest budget in the world but like... could have made it, like, so much better. i'll do a separate post for that in a min.

uhhhhhh i think that's all i got for now. i have . more but y'know. more to come.

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: A Weekend at Morrigan Manor/Exit Interview (5x09/10)

Oh boy. Lots to discuss.

Cons:

The biggest con I have here is... well, if Guillermo was going to be made back into a human at the end of the season, I wish we'd gotten to see more of vampire Guillermo. I actually don't mind narratively this turn where he goes back to being human, but why couldn't we see a whole season of him getting to be a bat and go flying and do all the other vampire things, in full-swing? That way the fact that he's not ready would hit a little harder: he can't bring himself to drink human blood, which is the only way he can continue to be a vampire, even though he's experienced all the perks. I just think that would have been a more fun way to play it. Instead, we spent a whole season waiting and waiting to finally actually see vampire Guillermo, and we... never fully got that at all. He did look good with those fangs, though.

Pros:

The Morrigan Manor stuff was so charming and fresh and different. I truly had no idea where this episode was going to go, from the invitation, to the amazing fencing choreography with Lazlo and his large group of combatants... I even thought the Guide's role in the story added something fun.

All season I've been complaining that they haven't done enough with the whole vibe of her being an outsider, but in this episode, when she finally takes matters into her own hands, I did feel the weight of her relative insignificance all season, finally coming to bear. I realized pretty soon she had to be behind all the disappearances, but it was still fun to see it play out. And I like how she acts as a contrast to Guillermo, who now feels included in the group in various ways. One good moment is at the beginning, when the recording says "six of you" and they're confused about the number six, because they were forgetting to count the Guide. Which means they think of their family as being five people, and that includes Guillermo. So sweet!

And the moment of truth... everyone else trying to distract Nandor form realizing the big secret... Nadja: "I like this cage." That was so funny. The reason that a ridiculous show like this works is that when they want to play up something other than the laughs, they don't shy away from that. All season we've been told that once Nandor learned the truth about Guillermo, he'd kill him and then himself. And then he finds out, conveniently locked in a silver cage, and what does he say? That he's going to kill Guillermo. It's not funny, his rage is played 100% earnestly.

It's also cut up really humorously with Nandor instantly figuring out why Guillermo is only a half-baked vampire. His slayer blood from his Van Helsing family is interfering with his transformation. Everybody else is just like "ohhhhh" but I think this is such a great detail to include, that Nandor actually pays attention and knows enough about Guillermo, has given all of this enough thought, that he instantly knows what's going on.

Lazlo remembering the right tape to play to get the Guide to forgive them was also really funny. I knew instantly there would be a punchline where they undercut their kindness towards her right after Lazlo has the tape cut off, and I like that the Guide doesn't see the mid-credit bit like we do, where it turns out they're trying to get Colin to fall in love with the Guide so they become a couple and move out and leave the rest of them alone. Lazlo continues to get my season MVP award, for being clever enough to manipulate the Guide!

The second episode is full of so much great Guillermo goodness, I don't even know where to start. I think the big thesis of this season is that Guillermo is family with the other vampires in the house. He already achieved that closeness, and in fact it was sort of in spite of becoming a vampire, not because of it. We see it in the way that Nadja, Colin, and Lazlo all sneak off to say goodbye to Guillermo, as they believe he'll be dead soon at the hands of Nandor. The episode with the Guide reminded us that these vampires are never necessarily going to be open about their feelings; they'll care about each other on their own terms, and it doesn't mean they don't treasure those relationships. Guillermo has learned that now, and that being a vampire, something he still greatly wants, isn't the only way to connect with his chosen family.

I love that Nandor just straight-up murders Patton Oswalt, like, he's dead within the What We Do in the Shadows universe now and it's so fucking funny. Especially the fact that he gives good advice, Nandor kills him in punishment, and then is like "he has a good point, though..."

And again with this show knowing when to play something dead sincere, I love how Nandor's grief and anger is over-exaggerated but one hundred percent earnest, too. He says that he can't imagine anything more painful than having to kill his friend. And then he makes a promise to Guillermo, holding a stake to his own throat, in his original language of Persian, that he will spare his life. It was... well, it was charged, to say the least.

Also played entirely sincere was Guillermo's grief and discomfort over the thought of killing people. It's rendered comedic by the fact that he's killed so many vampires, and lured so many innocent humans to their deaths, but it makes sense that the actual drinking of innocent human blood would feel different to him. Nandor knows him well enough to understand that this isn't what Guillermo really wants.

There's something so narratively satisfying and also funny about Nandor being the one in the dark all season, having no idea what's going on, and then once he's in the know, he has sole custody of the only damn brain cell in the whole group. He figures out how to forgive Guillermo, he figures out what his friend really needs, and even guides him into discovering that for himself.

Even Derek gets a happy ending, hopefully to make friends with his new zombie brethren, where he might fit in the way he never did among vampires!

I've seen a lot of people online disappointed with this finale, calling it an anti-climax and a letdown that Guillermo and Nandor didn't kiss on the mouth or whatever. On some level I do understand that disappointment, in the sense that I wish we'd gotten to have more fun shenanigans with vampire!Guillermo while we had him, instead of this half-assed version of it all season. But at the same time, that's the nature of this kind of comedy show. If you divert from the status quo, the show kind of... ends. And we've seen such huge development this year for Guillermo, in the way he is now given the kind of respect from his chosen family that he's long pined for.

And that's that for season five! I really deeply love this show, all the crazy shenanigans of this bizarre cast of characters. I'm ready for season six whenever they have it prepared for us!

9/10

[agentrouka-blog]

not entirely sure what the fandom's consensus is re: the wall at the end of the books but… there might be need for a watch at the end of the books just like there was a need for a watch when the ww were defeated the first time? the way i see it, the song of ice and fire is cyclical, motives and stories repeat again and again, so the ww might not get defeated-defeated but only banished for another couple thousand years, hence, while the watch might temporarily disband, there'd still be use for a watch (and because now everybody has seen WHY they are there, their reputation would be restored & joining would once again be considered an honourable deed)

(though i do think that jorah joining jon & tormund at the end of the show would've been weird and awkward and straight up confusing because that was jon's "happy" ending as part of a group of people who respect & welcome him (at least in got!verse) and i don't think he exchanged even a single line of dialogue with jorah?)

(Oh, but in the show Jon tried to hand Longclaw back to Jorah, because it's the Mormont ancestral sword, and Jorah gave it back, for Jon and his future children. You know, one of the misdirections to make people believe in boat baby. During that clever wight hunt trip. Because Jon wouldn't hand it to Lyanna Mormont who made him king. Only to the guy who went on the run for selling poachers into slavery. Quality television.)

If the books do go into the direction of a cyclical threat, I would find it vaguely more credible for Jorah to take the black, though the character has never shown an ounce of integrity and would seem like a bad omen for the new start of the Watch. And the Watch already descended into a misguided mess that forgot its purpose the last time around, so why would they just press the Repeat Button?

But I am inclined to believe that the "problem" of the Others, the wonky seasons and access to high level blood magic and the permeable line between life and death is going to be resolved for good. Mostly because I think it's going to (have to) be some kind of metaphor for the same kinds of issues we've already seen explored on a smaller scale. Destructive power as a compensation for pain and grief. It's what the dragons are. It's what almost every villain is motivated by. It's present in historical examples like Garin's Curse. It's part of the story of the Children and the First Men. It's embedded in blood magic.

This has to be the dark origin of the Starks, to me, and this has to be the example where giving up that power is writ large. How else is a little boy like Bran, who's disability he was "compensated" for with immense magical power, tied to exploring the magical history of House Stark, going to be the center of the solution? The solution being a primarily physical struggle between humans and zombies seems to veer right past GRRM's anti war message back to the idea of righteous mass violence. So the climactic solution needs to be ideological and personal - and thematically meaningful.

Another temporary solution prone to erosion and confusion over time (like the Wall and the Watch) seems downright pointless to me in that specific context. You don't need the Wall and the Watch to keep the problem of human error around. Removing them does drag it down to earth for good. There will always be the danger of the war, but in-universe it would exist in the shadow of an example of negotiation and mutual concessions saving the world from apocalypse. (Like the Pact between Children and First Men, but larger.)

That's just my reading of the concept though.

[cecilia01]

Ordinary

Chapter three First Impressions

The first day of the term, I woke up to the golden sunrays caressing my cheeks through the ornate windows of our dormitory. For a few minutes I only laid there, enjoying the warmth and the dance of the lights on the scattered furniture and the belongings of my mates, feeling glad to be back.

After dressing in robes and pestering Samantha up too, the both of us emerged from the girls’ side to the Ravenclaw common room, to leave for breakfast. ‘I really don’t see the point in starting school so early, really.’ said Samantha with an enormous eyewatering yawn. ‘My mind does not work anyway, so I might as well just miss the morning classes…’ ‘9 o’clock is not that early, Sam. In my muggle school we started at 8, and you had to commute too. Besides, not everyone is such a late riser.’ I smiled at her. It had been five years, and every morning was a battle. Sam was in every aspect an owl: wise, deep thinker and nocturnal. ‘It is not healthy. I read in a book that you shall sleep enough amount of time each day for your brain to develop well. Do they not want me to get as clever as possible? Honestly…’ She went on with her rant over the disadvantages of forcing people to get up at an uncomfortable time, until we reached our table in the bustle of the Great Hall. ‘Have you seen the timetable yet?’ asked Amit as we sat down to get some tea and toast. ‘No, I have not.’ I said, pouring tea to Samantha, who was already half asleep on Everett Clopton’s shoulder. ‘Is it bad? I shan’t bear another year with double potions on Monday mornings. That was plain torture last year.’ ‘It was not that bad, the Transfiguration after, on the other hand…’ said Samantha, spooning some porridge. ‘No, it is fine. We’ve only got Charms and Defence Against the Dark Arts today.’ Amit handed me the parchment. ‘No Herbology?’ asked Samantha sleepily, accidentally dropping some of her porridge on Everett’s robes. ‘No, Samantha.’ said the boy irritably, sweeping off Sam’s head. ‘And anyway, what is the point of anything, when there is no Quiddich to look forward to..?’ he said with a heart-rending tone. Everybody knew how great of a Quiddich fan he was, despite flying very poorly. I sent him a sympathetic smile, thinking of something encouraging to say. ‘Oh, that reminds me. Have you seen Imelda? I wanted to see how she’s faring after yesterday’s announcement.’ said Samantha, turning her head towards the Slytherin table. At the and of the long table sat our small group of green-robed friends, with a new red-headed witch, seemingly in deep discussion. But Imelda was nowhere to be seen. ‘If you are looking for Imelda, I’ve seen her raging down the Main Hall. She seemed so out of her mind that I didn’t dare approach her.’ said Garreth with a grin as he passed our table on his way out of the Great Hall. ‘We shall meet her after class then, shan’t we Cecilia?’ ‘Ah, yes.’ I tore my eyes from the green table. How come they were such bosom friends just after a day? ‘Definitely. Shall we go now?’ ‘All right.’ said Samantha following my sight, with a strangely amused expression.

As I guessed beforehand, the new girl seemed to be good at everything. She won in the Summoner’s Court game against Natty and the duel against Sebastian. No one defeated him before in class, so you could see the sparkle of interest flaming into curiosity in his eyes as they finished the duel. ‘Not bad for a beginner. You give as good as you get.’ he said, sweeping off the dust on his robes, with a tone of surprise in his voice. But he wasn’t alone, the whole class seemed to be enchanted with her performance on her first day. As the class ended, the sunlit classroom deserted within minutes, for everyone got aware how brilliant the weather was outside of the castle, and how unpleasant muggy it was inside. ‘Shouldn’t we introduce ourselves to her?’ I asked Samantha, as we were packing our bags to leave. ‘Oh, I already did after Charms. She seems lovely, you should go too. I try to run Imelda down in the meantime. Shall we meet back in the common room?’ As I nodded and watched Samantha leave the classroom, some inexplicable nervousness ran through me. I tried to shake it off, while crossing to the window, where the new girl was standing. ‘Hello! I’m Cecilia Maple. So nice to have finally met you! You were just splendid in both classes, what is your secret?’ ‘Nice to meet you too! My name is Cordelia Vane. And thank you, but I’m afraid there is not much to it. I have a way with these things, I presume.’ she said with an affable smile. Now that I was closer to her, I could muster her features better. Her pretty face was scattered with freckles, with a cheek of the most beautiful shade of rosy, that you otherwise would only see on paintings of delicate ladies. And of course, her soft wavy locks of red hair, that muggle ladies would pay their soul to achieve unnaturally. But her eyes, that where the green of her robes, which seemed so gleamy from a great distance, were not mirroring her sweet smile, they were somehow cold. Shivering cold, piercing into me... ‘Oh I…yes, well…of course you’ve got…’ I started with a stutter, trying to look away, when Sebastian from the other side of the class called out in our direction. ‘Nice work, Cordelia. May I have a word?’ ‘Excuse me.’ she said with a faint smile and strode off towards the boy. I waved a yes in relieve, and absent-mindedly scampered out the room. It did not make sense at all, she was nothing, but proper nice and polite.

So why was I scared of her?

[the-firebird69]

She did not sound that bad she did not seem that bad but was awful is it trumpster and was clever and sharp and they themselves kept pushing it around saying you're not doing anything and she said why I'm not shouting like a 2 year old child go wrestle him and see what it's like you're sitting there screaming at him and he's having a shot within hours or less and they said okay so you're not doing anything so now I'm using tax and I'm doing stealth in his clever so she hears the voice she's clever and you're not she's doing things and I directly against me and you guys are so you guys are out I don't need you and you're getting all your people killed and they start screaming bloody murder so go ahead and refute it and they said we have a plan and it's to push ourselves so when does the delusion stop killing you because AI boy wants it. They said this it looks like he was doing it it doesn't matter that he's losing his army which actually made it look like that and seem like that in the program might have worked even though it's not my brothers what's the point without the army it won't work and they said well this makes sense so they talk to her about it and she said thank you and they went about their business but she left because they came back and started harassing her and said we want proof that doesn't work what do you mean every single battle they suck and they said there's proof so why does she have to know about it she has to be the snow at all just one of your women and she puts out there where you tell her to and they said what's wrong with us in your realm all the time it's terrible terrible but we don't care we get rid of both you and you're the idiots getting rid of people that are worth something and you're not worth anything and they start getting really mad I said what are you getting really mad so we're going to come and get you what's that worse and they said this we're out front and we're getting everybody mad they're coming right at us and we're not doing anything still and spend years I went home and they wept and then they wrote letters and told people they're disgusted with how it's going they have to stop it and they started coming here and found these dupes that were insane and they noted it and they went through it again and we don't have time for the stuff either but this lady is a complete b**** and she's harassing her son all the time and the other guy is John remillard at times and he's a trumpster and he's fired and they're firing all of them globally and they're running to the cities to try and take them back and trying to keep them and it's huge The Exodus is getting bigger and they're fighting while they're in there while they're traveling and when they get there and they're a bunch of idiots these people are primates so it's going along we are on the 3rd 20% finishing up the first at the same time they started leaving about 5% are up and out the door or up and just about to go out the door or on the road it is going to start siphon anymore off they're reaching up above half percent half point and once they reach that it will start to flow faster it's already very fast and we have to get

Thor Freya

Olympus